#sorry i genuinely forgot to add peter pettigrew

[echonecho]

Pumpkin (Chapter One)

Read it here on ao3!

Summary: A rainy autumn day takes Remus out for an adventure of a lifetime.

AN: Here’s to me never writing anything from Sirius’s perspective! Maybe one day. I’d actually look out for next month. LOL jk … unless?

WARNING: swearing, coming out, mentions of food and drinking, therapy

Chapter One: If I Don’t See You Tomorrow

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Friday, October 29th, 2021

Lonely, overflowing bookshelves collected themselves in Remus’s apartment. The brown, decaying walls went lucid as he thumped his foot. His consistent leg jumping ignored the chronic pain of it all. Remus attempted for a sixth time to focus, but the chill krept upon him.

He sat back in the wooden chair, crossing his arms. The thick hoodie and scarf that reached his thighs did nothing to aid the damp room. Bags held their place under his eyes as Remus sighed and closed them. He had been studying the magnetohydrodynamics of astrophysics since nine that morning, and his brain was numb.

When he had first enrolled, Remus was a simple Astronomy major, unaware of the dangers of physics and its symptoms of brain death. He cracked his neck and reached for his cellphone. 

Nine Unread Messages

“Fuck,” he signed. At least it wasn’t twelve missed FaceTime calls this time. Remus read the oldest to the most recent.

James Potter: Are you comin out tonight?

James Potter: Fuck, wait

James Potter: Didn’t mean that. Sorry.

James Potter: My friend is hosting a poetry slam, and this guy you might like is performing

Lily Evans: You should come out tonight! James and I are going

Marlene McKinnon: Ignore James, he’s trying

Lily Evans: Shoot

Lily Evans: It’ll be fun :)

Mary MacDonald: You deserve some fun!

Remus sighed again. A poetry slam? It’s like he was a liberal arts major. He glanced at the alarm clock.

4:26 pm

Remus Lupin: When is it?

He had let another day pass him by.

James was coping well, actually, a lot better than Remus had thought he would. Releasing that you are bisexual out to the world may be difficult. He had known his little friend group would react well.

Lily had been a great ally since he could ever remember. She had introduced him to pride events and a queer coffee shop on his block. Marlene McKinnon had been in a loving relationship with Dorcas Meadowes, someone Remus had befriended somehow in group therapy. As for Mary, Remus was always sure she had been in love with this person all throughout secondary school. He had never known this person, as Mary wasn’t one to exactly brag on her romantic life. Though she was never afraid to dance the night away with a stranger, Remus had never seen her with someone for that long.

James was where Remus tensed. He had been the football player Lily insisted on seeing every single day since first-year. He had gone to some queer pride events before, sure, but he looked the definition of a straight, cis-gender man. Remus had never pushed for more, and he never found him all that interesting.

All the same, Remus had come out the previous night and wanted to physically escape back into the closet. Though his friends were more welcoming than not, their together-ness felt shifted. The group had been out for drinks, their weekly round of overflowing tequila and bottomless mimosas.

Remus had really said, “Guys, I’m queer. Bisexual, I think.”

The girls had tried to envelope him into a hug. James had raised his pint and said cheers to the man. Now, though, Remus wanted to turn back into his burrow of a bed.

As if the world had turned against him, Remus’s world was just the same. It should have felt the same. Coming out was a part of life -- only some people’s lives, but still. Remus had come out. His friends swore they didn’t see him any different. But their friend group felt shifted. 

Coming out, Remus thought, shouldn’t be that big of a deal. It was 2021, for Heaven’s sake! Being slightly gay or merely slightly straight wasn’t that important.

It wouldn’t hurt to hang out with them. Remus needed a break from upcoming deadlines and homework assignments. He stood up without a second thought and cracked his back. He really needed to see a chiropractor. There was a cheap one in Chinatown. Perhaps …

The cell phone buzzed.

Lily Evans replied with: 5 tonight

Remus Lupin: Like in 30 mins? God, Lily

Marlene McKinnon: I’m the only god here, Lupin

Remus Lupin: I’ll be there by quarter-after

Lily texted over the address. Of course, it was an hour walk or a twenty-minute train ride. Remus had never been a fan of the train.

He looked outside his crooked window. Wind blew through the broken glass. Rain poured from the dusty clouds. Walking to the “poetry slam” would include a later-destroyed charity shop sweater and ruined corduroys. The train it was, then.

Remus shut and pushed his textbooks away. He threw on a simple button-down and some nicer-looking slacks. Then a thought crossed his mind -- Was James trying to set him up?

James had mentioned a guy Remus might like.

Odd. Maybe James was a better ally than he had recognized. Depends on the man, Remus supposed.

Remus turned to check the alarm clock once again.

4:46 pm

He could make the next train.

Hobbling with an unsturdy hip, Remus briskly stepped to the station. The tube was over-crowd, even in the rush hour. The train arrived as Remus came to. His breathing wavered as he walked into the train itself.

As the train jolted forward, Remus clung to the silver pipes hanging from the ceiling.

Five stops later, the tube stopped suddenly. Other passengers flew forward without warning. The natural instinct in Remus wavered as a body pushed into him. He turned around and captured the man.

Long black hair hit his face, and Remus wanted to gag. How could someone keep their hair that long? he wondered.

The man stood back up from Remus’s arms and looked him up and down.

“Thanks,” the man before him mouthed.