#sorry i am gonna tag all the characters i mentioned here i love to be annoying
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xxplastic-cubexx · 3 months ago
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what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]
a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious
i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me
as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy
#snap chats#may you forgive me anon i always feel awkward explaining things AVELKJEAKLJ#i feel esp awkward cause i haven't read toooo much of the comics yet- like ive read. an ok amount so far krakoa wise#can you guys tell im fighting god himself to Not write a fuckin. NOVEL#im so sorry i have an over-explaining problem my mom was mean to me growing up but anyways#i definitely want to read more and more outside krakoa. the more i read the more im fascinated by these two and their history#but to continue my prattling. as if the three paragraphs above arent enough This Is Not A Thesis RELAX#i think a. 'poignant' moment i think adds to what i like about charles too is that soliloquy where he recognizes people dont like him#yet he could always be worse- like if he's bad now to others imagine if he really just said Fuck It All#it's simple but so am i whaddyagonnadoboutit. i mean that point itself could be discussed but i'm trying to keep this brief bear with me#i so bad want to know what issue that's from tho all i know is that it's from krakoa but i neeeed the whole context#i think like. an additional bullet point to charles i also like is his loneliness#and i say this cause- I Say From My Amateur-Psychology Armchair- it's a component of why he's so earnest to help#but im keeping this point in the tags until i can confidently verify that with myself after some more reading#Unfortunately a favorite pass time of mine is psychoanalyzing characters like why else you think i major in psychology smh#im going to force myself to cap the post here because i ended up typing like 20 more tags just rambling#and as i said id like to keep this simple and clean !!!!! i have sat here for like four hours answering this ngl#ignore the fact half that time was spent getting distracted by solitaire and riffling cards ok I Am Very Easily Distracted#but fr when it comes to charles and erik- charles esp imo#i feel like i need to write a whole paper just so i can mention the nuances of the characters and like. EVERYTHING#because again six decades is A Lot of time for writing decisions to be made and for their characters to change over time#im a glazer but i wanna be a nuanced glazer yk. is that glazing at that point-- w/e anyway#its a lot. so today you will have to tolerate a very Blah answer from me which i must apologize for#down the line once ive read a comfortable amount more varying from multiple eras maybe ill revisit this question more in depth#as of right now tho .... chat i wanna get legion of x so bad i skimmed it and hhhhhhhhim gonna throw UP#i need to shake charles like a ragdoll BUT ANYWAY. bye bye for now lovelies !!!!!!!#please forgive me if i didnt answer your question efficiently ..#here i am saying i wanted to keep the tag count brief and yet !!! jesus christ. shut up My God I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT
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enruint · 13 days ago
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clown jumpscare on the dash. the clown is me. i had this whole essay written out but i decided not to post that bc i am allergic to being perceived and to ever share what's going on with me. sorry chat if i were a character in a show or book i'd be the one the fans would psycho-analyze and decide that 'he'd rather have his nails pulled out one by one than share his feelings tf???' does that mean i'd be the dreaded fan fav?? having the most outrageous takes written about me??? i am joking. but also i am not. as in i am not joking about not wanting to share beyond the bare minimum on the dash right now. gotta keep up my clown face after all JHSABJKDDF anyway!! let me be srs for just a second: the one thing i will share is that i feel so burnt out. and that in turn makes me feel so icky when i log in here. i don't know what it is but i've been on a sort of semi-hiatus for 4 months alrdy and nothing really changed. i want to write here but i also don't want to. it's sickening honestly. i am going to put this blog on an official hiatus rn when it comes to ic writing until i know what to do. you're free to unfollow bc i really don't know when i'll be writing here and i hate saying that i will and then end up not doing anything. save for maybe writing some meta posts once in a blue moon, i don't think i'll be doing much. and even that i can't promise at this point. all this to say that i'll continue to be very scarce for a while. or i'll just remake. it's all up in the air for now. we'll see what future me decides.
#out of the nether❟ ooc ✧#also to anyone that checked in on me: thank you so much fr!!#sorry for disappearing JHSDBJJ i am so slow with responding but i will!! soon!!#that meme with jlo and ... i keep forgetting his name is just so ... me-coded idk how to explain it#HJSDAJKFK i am haunted by the time i accidentally called him rupaul ... while i meant to say paul rudd...#and i was STILL wrong bc apprntly that's NOT his name ✋ all these men look the same to me not rupaul tho#like i am so sorry queen forgive me that was my mistake 🙇#sjadhjka while i was away i lit set up 3+ mock blogs ..... 😭. and some random carrds bc i was like 'what if ...'#i still want to write some canon muses tho. srsly i WANT to but the idea of writing canon muses ... idk people are so intense about some#characters fr. and not in a good way. it makes me so ??? like pls. chill out i beg ✋ it's not that srs babes#anyway my current fixation is someone from a gacha name that we won't name but he's testing my resolve so bad#he and some others. including a mother(tm). i can still hear her adsfuhhakj sorry these tags have lit NOTHING to do with my initial post 😭#to anyone that knows me you know it takes me a literal year before i commit to anything. it took me a YEAR and a half#before i made an oc multi after yapping about it for so long. the same is happening to the canon multi#i've been saying this for almost a year too .... so ?? uuhm y eah. but also i have these two new oc's i really wanna write. but another#solo blog?? i cannot handle that. esp bc elyon is STILL in jail and i need to get them out of there asap. the loml. my cunty mage.#queen. horror incarnate. when i say i have a bias and i mention my oc's and it's not elyon? i am lying and u should put me down immediately#.. only isolde comes close to the favored bias. the rest of my muses have to settle for being 2nd sdhjafkjf#but fr. elyon has a special place in my heart. i love them sm. even when i don't write them i /always/ think about them#the rare times i think about fandom verses for my oc's elyon is the ONLY one that comes to mind. they're always on my mind. unmatched!#me mentioning elyon here fully knowing only some moots know who they are. it's ok SJKDAHJKF i have been gatekeeping them for a while ..#bc shit was getting weird.... ANYWAY!! i yap too much fr. enough with these tags. i am gonna go and try to catch up with some dm's#that have been marinating for .... uhm ... y eah. some time JHSDJK#i hope you all have a good day today!! 💃💃
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bamsara · 5 months ago
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I'll ask, if it hasn't been already - regarding the tags on the fanfic poll:
What kinda things make you click out/give you the squick? I'm so curious 👀
rubs my hands together: could be a mix of things anywhere between character dynamics, personalities or even how the fic is formated
Btw for people who don't know what squicks are: 'Squicks' are just personal preferences that someone doesn't like. Nothing wrong with em it's just not your vibe. (Exp: Like how all my friends HATE tomatoes but I am tomato eater forever)
anyway long ramble list:
Can't read big blocks of text without breaks very well, and I dislike when characters (esp main characters that are talking in every chapter/scene) have bolded or italicized dialogue. I think it's fine for special reoccurring characters but it genuinely messes up with reading flow for me when it comes to taking in information if used too much
If I'm reading a fic specifically for a monogamous romantic paring, I don't care for the 'past lover interest reappears' trope or one of them currently has one, or the love triangle that results in one of them being like 'oh but i love them both i can't possibly choose!' *cough twilight cough* it just makes the relationship feel disgenuine and icky. zero stars. Any mention of a character's past relationship usually makes me just click out, just personally not here for that
-^^^ to go with this, big fan of the 'misunderstanding where someone thinks there's a love rivelry but the third person never had a chance.' Like to the main pairing there's only eyes for each other and that's all they care about, there's just some third person who's there and causing problems (either because someone in the pairing is jealous of the third person thinking they're gonna steal the other when it's not, or the third person thinks they're a love rival when in reality they're not even thought about) *cough Tyren cough*. I think there's a lotta comedy to have with this. Bonus points if it brings main pairing closer together
When characters have linear character development and recovery. I prefer my characters to realistically relapse and bit a little bit of a hypocrite as they develop from start of story to end. Failing and falling short and again makes the final result much more satisfying when they're healing
When characters use 'therapy speak' or otherwise react perfectly 'acceptable' to stressful situations. Again, I prefer realistic depictions of characters under stress, and work out becoming better under that stress rather than just One Big Thing Happen and suddenly they're never going to react negatively or lash out again because another character told them It Was Bad and To find Better Coping Mechanisms.
Unhappy endings. (Or open ended ones) Sorry for hurt/no comfort lovers but none of my fics will have unhappy endings. I like my stories to have people that go through absolute hell and still come out on the otherside
The ace in me doesn't care for fics where physical attraction is a large part of the ingredients that gets the pairing together. Not saying they can't admire each other when the sunlight hits them or wearing a nice outfit but just not a fan of reading about how 'sexy' a character is to another. Probably why I usually blast all my characters with the aspec beam
That's all I can think of off the top of my head but if someone had a more specific question I might be able to answer
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justwhisperingfantasies · 2 months ago
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Anything
a continuation of Always
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Characters: - Reader - Dean - Sam - Layla - Mrs. Rourke - Roy - Sue Ann- Mention of John and Joshua
Warnings: Fluff, Language, Implied Smut, Hurt Dean, Cannon Violence, Supernatural Spoilers,
A/N: So, I am really nervous about this one. Faith is in my top 3 favorite episodes of the whole series. This one is a wee bit longer. Sorry. I hope you enjoy it.
Hope y'all enjoy it.
Please don't copy my work
Like, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated
If you would like to be added to my tag list click here
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Your leg muscles throbbed from the pressure you were applying to the gas pedal. Yet your car still seemed to crawl along the road. Damnit I’m not gonna make it.
You looked up to the stars. “I never asked you for anything. I hunt monsters. I save people. He saves people. He’s a good fucking person. You can’t let him die. You hear me? Please don’t let him die.”
“Sam.” you said as you flipped open your phone and held it to your ear. “What’s going on? Is he?”
“No. He’s alive. We just got to the hospital. They just took him. How far away are you?”
“Maybe 20 minutes. 10 if I run some red lights.”
“[Y/n] we don’t need you getting hurt too.” He tried to hide it with a cough but you the sniffle “please be careful. “
“Always.” Your automatic response sent a sharp pain through your chest.
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You leaned your back against the door to his room, staring at the calming painting hanging in the hallway, trying to find the courage to face what was on the other side.
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“You love me.” He chuckled as you let out a hefty sigh.  He raised his head and rested his chin on your chest. You cracked your eyes open a bit, catching a glimpse of his bright green eyes. “You know I love you too, right?"
“I know.”
He gazed at you, a look of bewilderment crossing his face. “You know?!”
“Dean you tell me all the time, how I’m your best friend, you’re always telling me to be careful, you worry about me. I know you love me.”
He chuckled. “No sweetheart, I’m in love with you.”
You remember how your heart skipped at that moment. He slowly made his way up your body, his lips drawing closer to yours. You placed a hand on his chest, stopping him right before he got to his destination. ““If we cross this line, there’s no going back, Dean.”
He closed the gap between your lips and firmly placed his on yours. Your hand sliding upward, wrapping around his neck, pulling him closer. The fire ran through your veins as he stroked his tongue against yours. His kisses grew needy, hungry like he couldn’t get enough of you.
Heavy pants filled the room as the desire intensified between you. Your fingers grazed the bottom of his shirt, lifting it gently to his chest, he broke the kiss and swiftly removed it. A smile on his lips as you admired the definition of his shoulder muscles. “Like what you see?”
“Eh, they’re alright.”
“That drool on your chin says otherwise” He murmured softly, lowering his head to place gentle kisses along your neck.
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“[y/n]!” Sam’s voice pulled you out of your memory. You turned and headed in his direction.   
“Hey Sam. Have you heard anything?”
��No, I just got done talking to the cops and paying for his treatments.” You rolled your eyes. “They are just doing their jobs.” Sam glanced over your shoulder. “Hey Doc.” You pivoted and stood next to Sam. The doctor shifted his gaze to you then back to Sam. “His fiancée.” You gave a nod, going along with his lie.
“How is he?” your voice cracked.
“He's resting.” The doctor replied
“And?” Sam asked.
“The electrocution triggered a heart attack. Pretty massive, I'm afraid. His heart...it's damaged.” You felt a wave of emotion as tears started to gather in your eyes.
“How damaged?” you managed to keep you voice normal
“We've done all we can. We can try and keep him comfortable at this point. But I'd give him a couple weeks, at most, maybe a month.”
“No, no. There's, there's... gotta be something you can do, some kind of treatment.” Sam argued.
“We can't work miracles. I really am sorry.”
The reality hits you. “He’s not going to make it…”  You blinked, letting the tears flow freely down your cheeks.
“There’s my girl.” Dean said as you walked in, Sam following behind you.  His strained voice weighed heavily on your heart. Your eyes brimming with tears as they met his gaze. He appeared so frail and unwell. You had Dean in rough shape before, this was something entirely different. You and Sam stopped at the foot of his bed.
“We talked to your doctor.” Sam told him.
“Ok, So where are we doing the fight for the Impala?” Dean gestured to you and Sam. “Whoever gets it, better take care of it or I’ll haunt them.”
You scoffed. “That’s not funny.”
“Oh, come on, it's a little funny.”
“Dean.” Sam whimpered.
“Look, we all know how dangerous this gig can be. I drew the short straw. That's it, end of story.”
“Don't talk like that, alright? We still have options.” Sam asserted.
“What options? Yeah, burial or cremation. And I know it's not easy. But I'm gonna die. And you can't stop it.”
“Watch me.” Sam stormed out.
You sighed and rubbed your forehead, he reached out his arm, inviting you to lie down beside him. You walked over and sat in the chair beside his bed. He raised his eyebrows, grabbing your hand he pulled. “Get your ass over here.” You laid beside him. resting your head on his shoulder too scared to lay it on his chest.
“Tell me if I hurt you.”
He kissed your forehead. “You ain’t gonna hurt me baby.”
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You walked up to Sam’s motel door and knocked. He opened the door slowly. “Hey, I thought you’d stay at the hospital.” He stepped back, opening the door all the way.
“Yea I got kicked out.” you said as you walked over and started looking at the papers Sam had laid all over the bed. “Did you call John?”
“I did. I got his voicemail. Big surprise.”
You sighed. “Find anything yet?”
“Actually.” There was another knock on the door. You looked at each other in confusion
Sam walked over to the door and opened it. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Checked myself out.” Dean said stepping into the room and leaning against the dresser. “I’m not gonna die in a hospital that kicks out my fiancée.” He gave you a weak grin. You shook your head. Sam helped him sit in the armchair.
“So, I was just about to tell [y/n] I called everyone in dad’s journal.”
“For what?”
“For a way to help you. One of his friends, Joshua, called me back. Told me about a specialist in Nebraska.”
“You’re not gonna let me die in peace, are you?”
“You’re not gonna die period. We are going.” You said sternly
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Sam drives the Impala drives up a bumpy gravel path, to a sprawling white circus tent pitched in the middle of a field. Dean looks over to a sign that reads The Church of Roy LeGrange. “You guys are fucking liars!”  You and Sam jump out of the house and hurry to help Dean. “This ain’t no damn doctor.”
“Technically I said specialist.” Sam grabbed Dean’s arms “Let me help you”
“I got it.” Dean said batting away his arm “A freaking faith healer, really guys?”  He grabbed your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. “Can’t believe you brought me here to see some guy who heals people out of a tent.”
“Reverend LeGrange is a great man.” An elderly women yelled at Dean as she passed.
“Yeah, that’s nice.”
“Baby, this guy is supposed to be the real deal, can you please just shut up and give it a chance.” You gave him your best puppy dog eyes.
He gave you a small smirk. “Alright, for you.” The three of you continued walking to the tent.
“Dean, how can you be a skeptic? With the things we see every day?” Sam asked him as you continued walking toward the tent.
“Exactly. We see them, we know there real.”
“But if you know evil’s out there, how can you not believe good’s out there, too?” You asked.
“Because I’ve seen what evil does to good people.” He remarked. “And you guys can stop ganging up on me now.”
“Maybe God works in mysterious ways.” A young blonde said overhearing the conversation
“Maybe he does. I’m Dean, this is [y/n]” he said raising your hands. You smiled at her. “This is Sam.” He said pointing at Sam with his other hand.
“Layla. So, if you’re not a believer, then why are you.  here?”
“Well, apparently they believe enough for me.”
“Come on, Layla. It’s about to start.” An older women walked up and putting her arm around Layla
The three of you walked into the tent. Dean walked over to the last row and started to sit. “Dean please. There’s 3 up front. Come on.” He sighed and followed you.
“Each morning, my wife, Sue Ann,” Roy began his service.  “Reads me the news. Never seems good, does it?” he says as he steps up to the little podium. The room fills with echoes of no as the crowd agrees with him “Seems like there’s always someone committing some immoral, unspeakable act.” Roy continues with his service “But, I say to you, God is watching.” You hear a mixture of Yes, he is, and amen, as they crowd agrees with him again. “God rewards the good, and He punishes the corrupt.”  The agreements get louder, as almost everyone says amen or hallelujah, Roy continues “It is the Lord who does the healing here friends. The Lord who guides me in choosing who to heal by helping me see into people’s hearts.”
“Yeah, and into their wallets.” Dean whispers
“Shh” You whispered back.
“You think so, young man?” Roy asked
Silence falls over the tent.
Your jaw clenched in frustration. Dean cleared his throat. “Uh Sorry.” He said in a shaky voice.
“No, no. Don’t be. Just watch what you say around a blind man, we’ve got real sharp ears.” Almost everyone laughed. “What’s your name, son?”
“Um, Dean.” The nervousness lingered in his voice.
“Dean.” Roy nods with a grin on his face.  “I want, I would you to come up here with me.”
The crowd was cheering. You hear the older woman with Layla whisper to her “seriously?!”
Sue Ann moves to center stage, gestures for Dean to come up while smiling.
“No, it’s ok.” Dean told them
“What are you doing?!” Sam asked him
“You’ve come here to be healed, haven’t cha?” Roy asked
 “Well, yeah,” the crowd starts the cheer. Dean stats on his seat and waited for the noise to settle. “Um. maybe you should just pick someone else.”
“Seriously Dean?” You sneered, annoyed.
“Oh, no. I didn’t pick you, Dean, the Lord did.” Roy declared.
“Please,” you begged “You told me you would give it a chance.”
He took a deep breath. “For you” he stood up and everyone started cheering.
Sue Ann walks Dean over to Roy. You see their mouths moving. “Pray with me friends.” Roy instructs as he raised one hand and puts the other one on Dean’s shoulder. All the hands in the audience raise, except yours, Sam's and the lady with Layla.
Roy moves his hand from Dean’s shoulder to the side of his head. “Alright now. Alright now.”  You and Sam jump up to your feet as Dean falls to his knees, Roy keeps his hand in place. “Alright now” Roy says again.
“Dean!” You and Sam yell as Dean collapses to the stage floor, you both run to him.
 The crowd is clapping excitedly.
Sam’s fingers grasp the front of Dean’s hoodie shaking him furiously. Finally, Dean’s eyes burst open as he gasps.
“Say Something!” Sam demands.
Dean blinking like his vision is still hazy as he gazes upward. Above him stands Roy, arms extended outward, palms facing up, a broad smile lighting up his face. Dean stares behind Roy, a look of disbelief etched on his face.
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You lay on your back, your heart pounding and breaths coming in rapid bursts, gazing into Dean's eyes as his face hovered above yours.
"Wow," you breathed out, astonished.
He raised his eyebrows with a smile. “Told you I was ok.”
“I don’t know, I might be more convincing.” He laughed and rolled on his back beside you, He wrapped his arm around you, drawing you closer to him. you laid your head on his chest. “So, what was it like?”
“Mind blowing.”
“Really?”
“Well yeah babe. Our sex has always been great.” He chuckled as you let out a hefty sigh.
“You know what I meant Winchester.”
 “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
 You lifted your head and turned to look at him. His face was hard. “What’s wrong?” he shook his head. “Dean.” You pleaded.
“I don’t know. It was weird.” He sighed. “I felt cold. Something just felt off, felt wrong. When I think about it, I just get a bad feeling. Like there’s something more to it.” he looked up to the ceiling. “And the doctor mentioned something about a 27-year-old athlete that died of a heart attack.” He lipped his lips. “I’ve been trying, but I can’t sway myself into believe it was just a coincidence.”
You planted a swift kiss on his lips. “Alright, Let’s go.”
“Where?”
“To explain this all to Sam, and then we can go check it out.”
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“So how long you been together?” Roy asked as he sat down in the armchair across from the couch you and Dean were sitting on, in the LeGranges' living room.
“I’ve known her most of my life.” Dean looked at you , taking your hand in his. “Our dads worked together. There were many nights we got stuck babysitting my little brother together. Guess it all started there.”
“Well, the two of you make a stunning couple”
You smiled, “Thanks.”
“So how are you feeling Dean?” Roy asked.
“I feel great. Just trying to, you know, make sense of what happened.” Dean denoted.
“A miracle is what happened, but miracles come so often around Roy.” Sue Ann said as she handed you both a glass of tea. You both nodded thanks.  
“When did they start? The miracles.” Dean inquired.
“Woke up one morning, stone blind. Doctors figured out I had cancer. Told me I had maybe a month.” He explained fidgeting. “So, uh we prayed for a miracle. I was weak, but I told Sue Ann, to just keep right on praying. I went into a coma. Doctors said I wouldn't wake up, but I did. And the cancer was gone.” Roy took off his sunglasses revealing his glassy white eyes. “If it wasn't for these eyes, no one would believe I'd ever had it.”
“And you could heal people?” you asked.
“I discovered it afterward, yes. God has blessed me in many ways.”
“And his flock just swelled overnight. And this is just the beginning.” Sue Ann added with a proud smile on her face.
“Mind if I ask you one last question?” Dean asked looking down
“Of course not.”
Dean licked his lips, a hint of uncertainty in his voice as he asked, “Why me? Out of all the sick people, why save me?” You gently squeezed his hand, offering him a sense of reassurance.
“Well, like I said before, the Lord guides me.” Roy took a drink of his tea. “I looked into your heart, and you just stood out from all the rest.”
“What did you see in my heart?”
“A young man with an important purpose. A job to do. And it isn't finished.”
As Sue Ann Ushers you out the door, Layla and her mother are waiting to go in.
“I’m sorry Layla the reverend is resting right now. He won’t be seeing anyone else today.” Sue Ann says with sympathy
“Sue Ann, please. This is our sixth time; he's got to see us.” Layla’s mother pleads.
“Hey, I’m gonna go start the car.” You whisper to Dean excusing yourself from the awkward situation. With a nod he squeezes your hand then releases it.
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“She really said that to you?” You asked as you entered the motel.
“Yea, I'm kinda glad you went to the car. Couldn’t have you throwing punches on a reverend's porch.” He laughed as he threw his keys on the table.
“Well, it sounds like you two had an interesting day.” Sam said looking up from his laptop.
“Very. What'd you find out?” Dean asked Taking off his jacket and hanging it on a chair.
“Dean. I'm sorry.” Sam whimpered barely above a whisper.
“Sorry about what?”
“Marshall Hall died at 4:17.”
“Let me guess” you said grabbing a bottle of water. “The exact time Dean was healed.” You sighed as Sam nodded.
 “So, I put together a list of everyone Roy's healed, six people over the past year, and I cross-checked them with the local obits.” Sam handed Dean a stack of paper.  “Every time someone was healed, someone else died. And each time, the victim died of the same symptom LeGrange was healing at the time.” sense of sorrow in his voice.
“Wait, wait, wait. So, Marshall Hall died to save me?”
“Dean, the guy probably would've died anyway. And someone else would've been healed.” Sam tried to comfort him.
“You guys never should've brought me here.”
“Dean, we were just trying to save you.” You chimed in.
“But now some guy is fucking dead now because of me.” Dean exclaimed with frustration.
“We didn't know, Dean.” Sam rubbed his temples.  “The thing I don't understand is how is Roy doing it? How's he trading a life for a life?”
“Oh, he's not doing it. Something else is doing it for him.” Dean declared.
“What do you mean?” Sam questioned.
“The old man I saw on stage.” Dean said. Your eyebrows furrowed. He didn’t tell you that part. “I didn't wanna believe it, but deep down I knew.”
“You don’t think it’s a.”
“Yes, I do” Dean cut you off as he glanced at you.
“What are you guys talking about?” Sam asked
“There's only one thing that can give and take life like that.” Sam looked at Dean, still confused.
” It’s a reaper.” You murmured. Dean nodded,
“You really think it's THE Grim Reaper?” Sam asked typing on his laptop.
“No Sam, not THE reaper, A reaper.” You told him.
“There's reaper law in pretty much every culture on earth, it's possible that there's more than one of them.” Dean said looking through lore pages. “The question is how is Roy controlling the damn thing?”
“That cross.” Sam
“What?” Dean
“There was this cross, I knew looked familiar.” Sam looks through some papers and holds a card up, “This.”
“A Tarot?” Dean asked, taking the card from Sam, he looked at it then showed it to you.  
“It makes sense. A tarot dates to the early Christian era right, when some priests were still dabbling in magic.” You noted. Dean tilted his head with a pondering expression.
“And a few of them veered into the dark stuff. Necromancy and how to push death away, how to cause it?” Sam added
“So, Roy's using black magic to bind the reaper?” Dean
“If so. He’s riding the whirlwind. It's like putting a dog leash on a great white.” Sam
“Ok then we stop Roy.” Dean announced as he got up and put his coffee mug in the sink. Leaning on the counter behind you.
“How?” Sam asked
“You know how.”
“Dean, we can't kill him.” You proclaim, turning around to face him.
“Babe, he’s playing God, deciding who lives and who dies. That's a monster in my book.”
“No. We do that we're no better than he is.” Sam
“Ok, we can’t kill Roy, we can't kill death. Any other bright ideas?” Dean said with a bit of sass.
“We gotta figure out how he’s doing it and how to break it.” Sam stated.
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The Impala jolts along the rough, gravel-strewn road again. Dean did his best to dodge the potholes, passing a sign that says service today.
“If Roy's using a spell, there might be a spell book.” Sam said as you guys got out of the car.
“See if you can find it.” He looked at his watch, “You gotta hurry though, the service starts in fifteen minutes. We’ll try to stall” Dean takes your hand, and you head for the tent while Sam heads toward the house.
You and dean mosey up and down the aisles on opposite sides of the tent. You hear a cell phone ring and look up to see Dean putting his to his ear. He talks for a few seconds and then holds the flyer that the protestor in the parking lot gave him and mouths the words He’s next. He points at you then the opening on the tent. He them mouths be careful; you nod mouthing back always and go search for the man.
You go out to the parking lot, bobbing and weaving through cars, finding Sam. You throw your hands up in frustration. “Keep looking [y/n]” Sam yells, you continue in the direction you were going.
“HELP.” You turn searching for where the voice was coming from. “HELP ME PLEASE! HELP ME!” you figure out the direction and start running. You pass a bus to see Sam and the man running like they are being chased, you look toward the tent as you hear the commotion. You see Roy and his followers exiting the tent. You look back to Sam and the man still running frantically.
“Yea?” Dean answered his phone.
“Dean. It didn’t work the reaper is still after him.” the man falls to his knees. “I saw Roy. He’s not doing it; it must be someone else”
“Its Sue Ann”
 You see Sam helping the man up and he doesn’t look frightened anymore. You sigh in relief. “I think he’s ok.”  Then you hear Sue Ann yelling help through the phone.
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“So, Roy really believes.” Sam asked sitting on his motel bed.
“I don't think he has any idea what his wife's doing.” Dean said between the beds.
“Well, I found this.” Sam said handing a book to Dean. “Hidden in their library. It's ancient. Written by a priest who went dark side. There's a binding spell in here for trapping a reaper.”
“Must be a hell of a spell.” You said sitting on the other bed.
“Yeah. You gotta build a black altar with seriously dark stuff. Bones, human blood. To cross a line like that, a preacher’s wife. Black magic. Murder. Evil”
“Desperate. Her husband was dying,” Dean looked to you “she would have done anything to save the person she loves.” His gaze locked onto yours as he spoke, and his words made your heart flutter. A smirk on his face as you exhaled sharply, trying to compose yourself.
 “Yeah, but Roy's alive, so why is she still using the spell?”
“To force the reaper to kill people she thinks are immoral.” Sam informed. “We gotta break that spell.”
Dean rifled through the pages on the table. Finding the picture of the cross he said. “You know Sue Ann had a Coptic cross like this. As soon as she dropped it, the guy was ok.”
“So, you think we gotta find the cross or destroy the alter?” Sam asked
“Maybe both?” you suggested
“Whatever we do we better do it soon, he's healing Layla tonight.” Dean said
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“That's Layla's car. She's already here.” Sam says as Dean pulls the impala in the drive.
Dean nods with a grim expression “You know she's gonna die in a couple of months.”
“You said it yourself Dean, you can't play God.” Sam says with compassion
Dean looks to you. You press your lips in a hard line. “He’s right Dean, I’m sorry.”
The three of you approach the tent and peek inside. Roy is speaking to a small group, including Layla and her mother.
“Gather round, please everyone” Roy says.
“Where's Sue Ann?” Dean asked.
“House.” Sam guessed.
“You guys go find Sue Ann; I'll catch up.” Dean says pushing you and Sam into the shadows. As two cops walk down the stairs, Dean yells. “Hey!” they look at him. “You gonna put that fear of god in me?” He takes off running and they chase after him.
As soon as they're gone you and Sam run up the stairs and check around the house. It’s completely dark. “Look” Sam whispers, pointing at the light emerging from the cracks of the outside basement entrance. “I’ll go check it out. You see if you can get in the house.” You nod. Sam moves toward the basement entrance, opens the doors and slips inside.
As you search the house you hear the cellar door slam. You look out the window to see Sue Ann locking the doors. Sam banging on them trying to get out. You make your way quickly to the cellar doors, but Sue Ann is nowhere to be found. “Sam?” You whispered. pulled the pipe out of the door handles and swung them open. “Sammy!”
He emerged from the shadows. “Bout time.”
You and Sam ran over to the tent. You see Sue Ann holding up the cross while reciting something. You and Sam start to run in her direction. “Sam, destroy the cross, I’ll find Dean.” He nods as he continues to run toward her.
As you weave through the parked cars you hear a loud wail in the distance. You froze in place. “Dean?!” you yelled at the top of your lungs, getting no response you began to search again.  You hear another wail. You turn around to see Dean on his knees in the driveway. “Dean.” Speak softly with trepidation. Your legs jolt to life. Pushing into the ground as hard as you can, you finally make it to him. He’s gasping for air with glazed over eyes. You tackle him, pushing him onto his back. You rise to your knees facing the same direction Dean was seconds ago.  “Not him. Take me instead.” Nothing happens. Dean is still unable to breathe. “Come on you son of a bitch. Not him!” You shouted in anger. With one big last gasp dean’s breathing returns to normal. Anticipation hits you like a joke of lightning as you wait for the reaper to appear, but he doesn’t.
“[y/n]”
“Sam did it he destroyed the cross.” You say helping Dean to his feet.
“You guys, ok?” Sam asked as you approached the Impala.
“Hell of a week.” Dean said, shaking his head.
“We should get going.” You said as you opened the back door.
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Dean’s pov
He couldn’t take his eyes off her, sitting on the trunk of his car, in that leather jacket, hair blowing in the wind. She was gorgeous inside and out. Crazy thing was she loved him, him of all people. She loved him enough to give her life just to save him.  He opened the door and threw his duffle on the back floorboard.
“Whatcha starin’ at Winchester?”
“Just the prettiest girl in the world.”
“Kiss ass.” She said with a smile.
He laughed softly as he moved between her legs, wrapping her waist with his arms. “Listen,” he said, resting his forehead against hers. “I never want you to think about trading your life.”
“Dean.” She cut him off. “Save your breathe. I don’t care how mad you get, how loud you yell, or how many days you stay pissed off at me. I would do anything to save your life.”
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💜 Tag List 💜
@idk6505
@jackles010378
@mqdhvtter
@nightxcreature
@kamisobsessed
@perpetualabsurdity
@barnes70stark
@wonderland202
@quietgirll75
@nancymcl 
@hobby27
@madebyhappymeals
@hunter-or-the-hunted
@deanwinchestersgirl8734
@gardenofeden0718
@deansimpalababy
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enjoythesilentworld · 16 days ago
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2024 fandom review!
thank u for the tag @willesredlights sorry it took me literally ages to get to it
lets pretend we're not almost two weeks into the new year ok? and what a year it has been. holy shit.
~ Fics written ~
I'll be honest I did go a little batshit crazy this past year. 314k words across 19 published works, plus god knows how much more unpublished on tumblr. listen, I was deep in the ??? phase of my master's (still am, lets be honest) and desperately looking for a new creative outlet. I've always been a writer, always loved dreaming up stories, but I have never quite connected to a universe as much as I have to this one. I resonate with so many of the characters, and i just feel like there is so much room to play and explore. i will continue to add in old people OCs to my fics wherever and whenever i get the chance.
First fic: for the tree's sake (M, 48k) aka tree boys inspired by the trip that eventually led to my discover of young royals in late '23, and my darling baby. yes, that airplane ride that seems weird and random is based on truth!
Fav fic: just if for a minute (T, 53k) aka fake married idiots i greatly enjoyed making Wille suffer for just under 53k. that confrontation scene took days off my life and yet i am so proud of how it turned out.
Honorary mention to Growing towards the light, which was a dream to work on and create with my dear sweet friend Lia. there is one braincell between the two of us and it's full of nature facts and dick jokes. and beautiful stories about getting lost in the wilderness and finding yourself along the way. and tent-dick jokes.
Last fic: Wille på Hyllan (T, 13k) aka christmas shenanigans! another collab with my dearest friends which was hilarious to write and so silly and imo an example of one of the greatest perks of being in a fandom: meeting some of the most incredible people ever. also, dick-lights and dick-tomtar and dick-cookies. what more could you want?
~ Fics Read ~
if i tried to go through my history and tell you how many fics i read this year i would never make this post. i'd be here counting and trying to copy links forever. i read hundreds of fics. i enjoyed all of them, thoroughly. i got a lot better at leaving comments (sometimes). i was consistently and repeatedly blown away by the genius brains we have in this little Swedish corner of the internet.
if you are a writer i love you and i give u a kiss on the forehead.
also: i recently made a lil rec list here.
~ Other Stuff? ~
i had two big, busy months this year. three? : May, Wille's month & July, Simon's month i cannot believe i wrote 62 stories in 62 different universes (give or take a few). that's kind of stupid! but oh my god it was so fun!! some of my favs: -> Food, where Wille and Simon meet and embark on a mistakenly booked couples food tour in Barcelona -> Fashion/Style, aka the Met Gala AU aka the thing that turned into something so much bigger than i could have ever imagined. literally i thought people were gonna hate it. so, thank u for not hating it. and for letting it become 15k+ of pwp. -> Secret, friends to lovers RAHHHHHH -> Home (Improvement), aka grumpy home renovator Simon idk i just feel like this should become a full-blown fic one day
and oh boy who can forget about Kinktober from wax kinks in 17th century Italy to desperate love confession in the middle of wildfires to... whatever that was in the confessional (idk, that's between them and God).
2024...
I did some painting: x x I wrote some real weird lil ficlets: x x and I met dozens of incredible people. thank u for liking my stupid rambling posts from 3am and my silly little ficlets and for reading my stories and telling me about your stories and saving me from the Frankfurt airport and yelling with me about stuff thats definitely not in the Bible and sharing your time and space and art and care.
@bigalockwood @hergrandplan @gulliblelemon @saynomorefic @pagegirlintraining @skibasyndrome @sobadbad @impossibleknots @piebingo @theaviatorthatcouldnotfly @misfithive @sillylittleflower @zee-has-commitment-issues @purplehoodiesandclementines @justfriendsbestthings
giving u a big hug. and! this is by no means an exhaustive list. if ur reading this we are bffs. send me a message ok? ok. y'all keep me sane and happy and i am so grateful for you! live love wilmon
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cursedhaglette · 11 months ago
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Shoutout Sunday
it is so freaking kind of @littlejuicebox and @tallymonster to tag my work in their shoutout posts, so i wanted to add my own recs of fics i am currently wishing I could leave 1000 kudos on.
also fair warning, i'm a long fic girl. give me an OC to be obsessed, someone i can imagine my own hanging out with, and hopefully one that their author is also obsessed with. i wanna feel that through the writing. and with these, you can.
Pieces Left Stuck in Your Teeth by @howlsmovinglibrary / @wetcatspellcaster - i couldn't put this down when i started it, to the point i was reading it in the car when i should have been grocery shopping. i couldn't stop. it is witty always, devastating at times, and this version of Astarion is just terrible and hilarious in all the best ways
Not Your Sweetheart by @kittenintheden - the most natural dialogue I've ever read, and also the most hilarious. kitten also has such a talent for writing every character in a way that has me laughing each time anyone in her fic speaks. unless it hurts, in which case, it's gonna hurt a LOT
I Want to be Better; Let's Make Each Other Worse by @redrook - my frequent writing bud who's ideas outdo my own more often that not, Jack is an absolute genius and their fic shows it with every word written. the strange ox like you've never seen him before, dolphin riding, ceiling sex - you name it, it's in here AND it makes sense
Pour One Out by the absolutely delicious mind of @aevallare - auristarion supremacy for always. we all know kindred but if you aren't also reading Pour One Out you are, unfortunately, a fool
Sonnet of the Lone Cardinal by @brain-rot-central - neech is doing something truly different with this devastating and delicious A!A piece. and for it to be her first long fic??! the talent is insane
Made for This by @olivedrop - Olive's fic brings me so much joy, not just because Olive herself is an absolute delight, but because her writing is so real and the way she captures the companions feels like it was cut dialogue it's so good
now you want some SMUT? OKAY lets talk - take these and call me in the morning
Think of Me by @scaryanneee is the smut fic of all time for me. i've recced this an unhealthy number of times, probably bordering on it being obsessive
inevitable by @aevallare the smut fic i rec the second most because it's just so easy to place myself in the moment alex writes and as always, i love when the tadpole gets thrown in while folks get nasty
Where were you when I was new? by @kittenintheden - just shut the fuck up and read this and you'll get it. also i'll never stop thinking about how kitten writes dialogue in smut because holy cow
Pent Up by @underdark-dreams - this isn't even Astarion I'm sorry. it's Rolan. i don't even know if i like Rolan. BUT I LOVE THIS FIC. it is so fucking good oh my god.
Careless Whisper by @tallymonster - okay i might be biased because Tally offered to mention Halia here and made her the goddamn prima ballerina, but this is also just So Good and such a fun read. modern AUs don't usually work for me, but this one is that charming
and of course, though i doubt you need my rec to know her by now, anything written by miss @fangswbenefits will make your toes curl. and i mean anything.
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thelunarsystemwrites · 9 months ago
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200 259 followers DTIYS!!
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Finally after FAR too long debating, I finally drew up a DTIYS!! It was originally supposed to be for 200 followers, but uh... a little late!
Before I get into any rules or anything, I just- I gotta thank some people. People like my Twin, and platonic spouse aren't on Tumblr, BUT!
@tobi-draws a best friend and, honestly family to me. You might not have any idea how much your writing has helped me get through life, but it has. Any time you've updated is a good time for me! you're incredibly talented and I am honored to be your friend!! Ily!! /fam!
And of course Argos!! @childofthest4rzz my sib!! Sis? (I'll ask later??) My bestie in every RP and literally like the brightest person ever, ilysm to the sun and back!
And, my mum here @inka-boi congratulations on 269+ followers!!! I wish I had entered your DTIYS, but I'm so happy so many other people did, you deserve it!!
And @dtdrawz you are, very very cool. Very awesome, I like it, we vibing. Literally I look up to your art, it actually was the reason I drew this specifically! 😎
@absurdumsid AHGHGHGHH YOUR ART- I am super duper glad we got to work on UTMV agereverse farm sans together, and I am INCREDIBLY grateful I got to talk to you about my experiences as a system, thank you!
@pepsifvcker23 hey you! You're awesome! I'm literally so happy we're friends!! Your writing is NOM! /pos!
@pixieperson19 <- we love Angst. We thrive off it. We enjoy it together. 🥰 /p
@zombiestar1934 RAAAAHH!! >:3 /vvpos
THERE'S SO MANY PEOPLE I DIDN'T MENTION I'M SORRY, THE LIST WOULD BE SO LONG- @jazzy-jazzz @screwnames-ihatenames @annabel184 @denieatsart @italic-doing-random-shit @largefound @ant1quarian @the-second-reason @n1ght-sh4d3 @fell-is-suffering @kiyo-void @iatetheglue @inkcat1987 @axinfinity @fruityfroggyfelon AND LITERALLY ALL MY MOOTS YOU ARE ALL SO SPECTACULAR!!!
*Deep breath*
With that put of the way! Rules!
Tag me!
You may change the pose, but he must be sleeping.
The crown has to stay the same.
You may add your own touches if you wish, as long as the vibe is the same. This includes adding accessories.
The lighting is not important and doesn't have to be included.
You may add other facądetale characters if you wish.
Have fun with it!
Prizes are uh, I am going to TRY and provide them! Keep in mind, as of right now I have no decided deadline! I'll make a post later on going into more depth about prizes, and the deadline! (It's gonna be atleast a few months)
Once again... thank you all. I've struggled a lot, I still do. But to all my followers, thank you. I never thought I get this far, it's Lunartastic! Everyone I'm sending good vibes your way!! Have a wonderful time, and thank you!
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purpdrawsthings · 7 months ago
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Never gonna give you up~
┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊𖥸
┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚✩ ⋆。˚ ✩ ➳
┊ ┊ ┊ ✫ ➳
┊ ┊ ☪⋆ 𖥸
┊ ⊹ ➳
Creative Control - SMG4
00:52 ━━━━●───── 01:56
⇆ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ↻
ılıılıılıılıılıılı
ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮
______________________________________________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________________________________________
INTRODUCTION
Before we get started, I'd like to address some important before we get in the thing =3
WHAT I DO NOT ALLOW
Asks for donations
Yes I have answered some asks regarding this, but I seriously cannot donate.
I do feel sorry, I genuinely do. But, I should be honest that I can't donate, therefore, I ask for people to not spam my ask box with donations
NSFW
Obviously huge no-no sign for me. I want this place to be as clean possible.
Any mentions of controversies, etc
Keep this place happy for all of those stuff. I'll only talk of it if it's terrible, but I'd like to keep this place not walking with negativity.
I'd prefer to be quiet about it.
Okieeee that's about all =3 let's get along with the thing~
Hello hello! Welcome to my introduction post =]
It has seem that you have stumbled across my profile! Good job, =D
I'll get on with the intro, my name is Purp! Call me Purp! Don't try and confuse me with my oc called Purp hehe-
I am a Muslim that currently lives in a hot ass place called Malaysia 🇲🇾
My fav color is Purple is you can't tell 👁👄👁
I am artist, animator and overall, just a chill person who wants to make content that people would enjoy =3
I sometimes draw lore, and also stuff with blood! But not that often =]
Here's my sona ^^
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I will mostly do SMG4 content but I'll try do other content for fandoms I'm also in!
Such as...
Among Us
Murder Drones
The Amazing Digital Circus
And etc =D
I have also written a couple of stories, like my book in Wattpad called "Purp's backstory"
Do go check it out! It delves into the story of my oc Purp's traumatizing past... That's fun =]
I have created a couple of aus such as...
The Seven Gods AU [ Among Us ]
The Unknown AU [ Among Us ]
Lost AU [ SMG4 ]
Brainwashed AU [ SMG4 ]
Circus Showman AU [ SMG4 ]
The Brainwashed AU is probably the most known here!
I tend to be on the neutral side of things like stating my opinions and mostly staying away from controversial topics.
I love drawing my fav artists! You can see them in follow section =]
Please do not share anything negative here! I want it all to be good.
Please do not speak anything negative about my own opinions, I am extremely sensitive and I get overwhelmed easily.
I have school! So I will not be as active from Monday to Friday.
I will go absolutely BONKERS if someone makes fanart. Please do please do please- /jk
OCS that belong to me will sometimes have a hashtag for themselves! Here's some.
Purp : #Purp's Purp
GSP : #SMG4 GSP
Here's are my socials! If you see a version of me, or any form of copy on any other social media, that ain't me.
Twitter : @Purp_IsSus
YouTube : @PurpIsSus
Amino : @PurpIsSus
Reddit : u/Purp_1456
Wattpad : @PurpIsSus
I do have Discord but thats private =]
I have a couple of tags that you can explore for specific stuff =3
For brainwashed au content, it's this hashtag =]
#SMG4BrainwashedAU
For asks specifically at the au, it's this one =3
#SMG4BrainwashedAUasks
For all asks that I've answered, look at this hashtag kayyyyyyy?
#Purps silly questions =]
For characters that are related to the au/have been featured/shown, this is the hashtag
#Brainwashedau!smg4
#Brainwashedau!smg3
#Brainwashedau!MrPuzzles
Anddddddddddddd that's about it for now. If you want to ask any questions, feel free to go and ask me on my ask box =D
And with that, I'm out =3
While you're on that, have some art heheheheheheheheheheheh
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bedoballoons · 1 year ago
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HIII haven’t seen me in awhile, I had to get surgery doneeeeee. But I just saw the new mitsuri heandcannons and 👌🤩 beautiful.
well 8 have a new request, can you do when mitsuri shows off her INHUMAN strength? Also just to clarify, mitsuri does not gain much s weight at all because it mostly gets turned into protein cells….?… idk I forgot but she is just insecure because of what others might think of her.
SPOILERS: so mitsuri has the strength/ if not more than I a demon from that Uni. So her strength is about more than human. For me I think still lower of an adeptis but still INCREDIBLY strong for a human. Cuz during the final battle she rips off the arm of Muzan, the demon king which I think is almost/same strength of an adeptis???… idk
Hello!!! Welcome back! I hope you're doing well after your surgery and making sure to rest! Im sorry it's taken me awhile to get to your request but I will do my best to make it worth the wait!
P.s You didn't mention which characters you wanted to I just went with the characters that were in the past one! Hope that's alright <3
─⊰⁠⊹ฺ🍂𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ🍂
{༻~Mitsuri strengths~༺}
CW: Fluffy! Slight fighting mentioned! Reader is described as very strong! Established relationships with the characters!
Also in case you'd like to read my other demon slayer works they are all tagged in the linked post:
Here for more!
(Includes: Diluc, Lyney, Albedo, and Wanderer!)
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
𑁍༄Diluc:
"Watch out they are-" Dilucs words of warning would ring in your ear for only a second before the lawlchurl dashed at you, anyone else would have screamed in terror, maybe ran, but you stood still, taking the beast by the horns the second it got close enough. The giant thing was no match for you and within seconds you'd taken it down, standing ontop of it victoriously while your boyfriend stared at you in disbelief.
"Diluc-"
"You're beyond even my wildest dreams...I love you."
𑁍༄Lyney:
"Oh my..."
Lyney was in a trance...with his heart beating heavily in his chest and his head spinning with a type of yearning only you gave him. How had he never seen you in combat...
"Lyney are you alright? Did you get hurt?"
"No...I am just going to stand here for a moment longer and try to calm myself after that...truly enticing battle."
"Enticing?"
"My love, you have got me wrapped around your finger more than you realize..."
𑁍༄Albedo:
"Incredible."
You turned to face Albedo, wondering if he'd been hit over the head when you weren't looking, but to your surprise...he had a soft blush on his cheeks and a almost dazed with love expression, "Uh...you okay?"
"Yes, my apologies I just...you're so strong. I just witnessed you taking out a rather large group of monsters with no trouble at all and I must say, it's left me feeling a bit flustered...I'm in awe of you."
𑁍༄Wanderer:
"Just let me handle it!" Wanderer jumped in front of you, prepared to take out anyone who attempted to hurt you...ready to protect you till the end.
"You don't need to."
"What the hell are you talki-"
You maneuvered around him, using your strength to best your opponents one by one, leaving none able to do anything but run away begging for mercy. It was easy for you, unnatural for a normal woman...but Wanderer seemed more pleased than unhappy with it...even a little blushed.
"You...when did you get so strong hmph...next time I'm gonna stand behind you instead."
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚~Have a nice day~*⁠.⁠✧
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jasntodds · 1 year ago
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Petrichor [11]
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Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)
Words: 19,142
Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, canon drug use, canon violence, blood, bruises, manipulation, canon manipulation, canon character death, mentions of the wolf story from the cabin (it's not detailed like in the show), mentions of PTSD (canon), mentions of abuse
Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞
Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.
A/N: Fun fact: Scarecrow is actually my second favorite Batman villain (second to the Riddler of course) so I had fun writing Crane a little bit lol I am so sorry this is so late. I ended up busy for once so lol but it is a long chapter to make up for it!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭
series masterlist | masterlist | tag list
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You come to half an hour later, your eyes peeking open slowly. Your head is in a haze like when a sudden nap happens and you wake up confused what day it is and how long you've been asleep. Your eyes scan around, spotting Jason sitting on the floor a few feet away from you cleaning one of his guns. He's still in the Red Hood suit with his helmet off to the side and there's a blotch of light red on his jaw, right where your fist connected with his face. And the guilt hits like a freight train. You clear your throat making Jason look up to you and you think you just saw his face relax.
“What the fuck just happened?” Your throat is raw and you can't tell if that's some weird after-effect of the drug or if it's from all the yelling.
Maybe it's both.
Jason looks up to you and his stomach starts to twist into knots. The guilt is dulled but it's that echo that's annoying, like a headache that just won't quit. He's been sitting here the entire time, looking to you to make sure you're okay and wondering what he's supposed to say when you come to. He wishes he knew but he doesn't.
He can't take back what he said and he can't back you fighting. Drug or not, it never should have happened. None of it. It never should have involved you. But, now it's messier than ever and Jason desperately wants to leave it all in the shadows and creaky floorboards of this room. He doesn't want it on his shoulders or lingering on his skin or his tongue anymore. But, maybe he doesn't want you to know that just yet.
He's high but he always cares about you. And maybe, letting himself be cold about everything will be better. Maybe you'll finally leave. It'd be better for you if you did anyway.
“Exhaustion is a side effect of the comedown. The only way around it is to sleep or take more and I wasn’t gonna give you mine.” Jason states casually, going back to cleaning.
You furrow your brows. You keep coming back to wondering how you missed him taking this. It all seems so obvious and you feel so guilty about it. Maybe you were so wrapped in the sort of fantasy of being happy, with him, that you willfully ignored every warning sign. That isn't entirely true. You knew something was going on, but maybe if you looked harder, went back to your pessimism, you wouldn't have missed it.
“So, you just…let me sleep? After that?” You scoff, trying desperately to figure out which side his logic is landing at the moment.
“Cleaned the cut on your head and made sure you were fine.” Jason shrugs, his eyes glancing to you for just a second.
As soon as Jason got Hank done and into a cab back to Wayne Manor, he cleaned the blood and cut off of you. He definitely followed it with another hit from an inhaler but he helped you anyway. At the end of the day, at the end of all of this, he just wants you to be safe. Crane might be trying to fill his head with lies and it might be working, but Jason knows in the very center of his chest, you don’t deserve anything bad to happen to you ever again. You might not be entirely on the same side, but Jason isn’t going to just throw you to the side. He won’t do it. It's why he pulled his punches and he never pulls his punches.
“What about Hank?” You ask softly, your eyes never leaving him.
You're pretty sure he's still high.
Jason pulls out his phone, checking the time. “He has a few hours.”
You roll your eyes. Now that you aren’t high on the drug, your thoughts are more logical, no longer fueled by anger. You watch Jason and you remember Hank saying he’d kill Jason if given the chance. It’s not that you agree with Jason killing him, but maybe it’s kill or be killed.
“Why Hank? Like what made you do that?” You question, earning a side eye from Jason. He doesn't want you involved in any of this which also means you don't get to know the reason. Not from his mouth. “Okay, you’re not gonna put a bomb in my chest. Gar is your friend. You don’t stand a chance against Kory or Conner. Dawn is Dawn. You like to fuck with Dick. That leaves Hank, right?”
Jason offers you a grin before he chuckles. “He’s also a fucking prick and you know it.” Jason gestures a lazy free hand at you and something about the grin and the gesture, almost seems normal.
You shake off the familiarity of it because at the end of the day, you don't think Hank deserves to die, not if he didn't come here with the intent to kill Jason. “Yeah….but what? Did you lure him here or?”
Jason can tell you're digging but he can't tell for what. His reasoning why Hank and how he got him here, isn't important. It's not even relevant to really anything. But, Jason knows you and he's starting to think maybe you're digging to see if you should be on his side. That's what you usually did for things that didn't really matter. Get his side of the story so you can side with him.
“Why do you wanna know so damn bad?”
“I wanna know how mad I need to be.” Your shoulders feel heavy with the shrug.
Jason scoffs and even if he doesn't want you involved, he wants you on his side. If you're on his side, you'll back off and let the plan fall into place. “I didn’t make him come. I asked to and he did, without backup.”
“How’d you get him to show up, Jason?” You almost groan because getting answers out of him sometimes is like pulling teeth.
“Said Dick would kill me and I just wanted to come home.” Jason can't help the chuckle that falls from his throat.
Something about it is amusing.
You nod your head and maybe you feel a little less bad. You know Jason had some sort of ploy to get him here. Hank was just dumb enough to fall for it. After everything, apparently, he didn’t learn not to go headfirst into something without backup. That was just stupid. But, that also makes you question Hank’s intentions.
You don’t believe for even one second Hank showed up alone with the intention to help Jason. He was pissed earlier and he’s an ass. If Hank told any of the Titans, they would have come with him and none of them wanted Jason dead. Maybe Jason told Hank he was watching him but you figure if anyone would know how to get around being watched in Gotham, it would have been you or Dick. Yet, Hank didn't go to either of you. On top of that, why would Jason call Hank if he wanted to come home and not you or Gar? Maybe Hank wanted to be the one to either kill Jason or bring him down himself. Maybe you feel a little less bad about it.
Kill or be killed.
“Asshole.” You huff.
You watch Jason carefully, an easy smirk dancing across his lips but it never reaches his eyes. You're sober now, remembering everything that happened and you can feel the guilt washing over your insides like charcoal. None of it is true. And you hate that any of it was even said. If you didn’t mean it, neither did Jason. It was the drug and you're positive of that. And you're thinking the drug is the entire reason Jason is trying to kill Hank.
A very large part of you is wondering if you would helped Jason had you not been so mad at him. You actually think you would have and that is something you would never do. Hank is a Titan and he didn’t do anything to warrant his death sentence. You wouldn’t normally kill him but you're almost positive you would have had you not been mad at Jason. And you think, maybe that’s the reason Crane helped Jason make the drug, to weaponize him and at this moment, you swear his days are numbered. But, before you seek your revenge, you want Jason back.
Getting him back is going to be a lot more difficult because even you're sitting here itching for another hit of an inhaler. You can’t imagine how Jason is feeling the second it starts to wear off. But you want him back and you're not going to rest until you get him back.
“He probably came to kill you.” You state.
Jason snaps his attention to you, his brows furrowing. “What?” Jason huffs.
“Yeah, Titans are pissed. Well, Hank. Everyone else is just confused how the hell you’re alive and with the shit you’re doing. But Hank said if he came to it, he’d kill you so.” You let out a breath and you swear his expression just deflated.
“And you fucking fought me over that shit?”
“I was high.” You huff. “Which you know damn well if it weren’t for that shit you’re also on, by the way, I never would have. But you get the cure to fear and you lie to me and you don’t even share.” You spit back while Jason dodges your eyes this time, going back to cleaning the gun you think has to be clean by now.
“I don’t want you involved.”
“Okay.” You let out a sigh. "Why not?" You ask, Jason glancing up to you, the white strands of hair falling onto his forehead. "Is it Crane or is it me? Is it the drug? Why don't you want me involved, Jay? Because you keep fucking saying that shit with no explanation."
Jason opens his mouth to fight back, to tell you to let it rest and he doesn't have to tell you anything. But, his eyes land on the cut on your forehead and the bruising near your cheek and he caves.
"Do you really want to work with Jonathan fucking Crane?" Jason spits, his eyes narrowing slightly.
"You never gave me the choice to." You state.
"I knew you wouldn't go for it." Jason shrugs, looking back to the gun because that seems a lot easier than looking at your face now.
"Okay." You let out a sigh of defeat.
There’s no point in talking about it. He’s clearly high. You can tell by the coldness that surrounds his voice. He’s going to believe whatever Crane has to say to him because that’s the drug, you're almost certain. And Crane gave him something to cure him. Jason's in debt to him. He sees him as a savior of sorts and you desperately wish you could get through to him. But at least you understand it now.
A part of you don’t think anything could have gotten through to you while you were high. It’s powerful and strong, all-consuming. You were only high for two hours and you hate that version of yourself but there is this twitch through your bones that almost wants to ask Jason for his. It’s like a sudden vibration starting in your bone marrow and radiating through your head and your chest. And you can even feel the lingering tinge of anger like the very end of a fire.
Whatever insane shit Crane had Jason cook up, is fucked. You hope it’s not too late to talk some sense into Jason but you have to catch him when he’s not high. You aren't now and it was only one dose anyway but you swear, you feel normal. It's just that small twitch in your bones that feels uncomfortable. But, that's it. You feel like you never took it in the first place and maybe it's not too late for him. It might be a waste of breath to try when he's high, but you have to try anyway. He would for you.
You scoot closer to Jason until you're right in front of him. Jason pauses his movements, looking over your face. He felt the guilt creeping in before he took the inhaler again. He knows he’ll never forgive himself.
You place your hands on his cheeks and Jason’s face softens and you know he’s there somewhere. But you don’t feel his hands move to you and you feel like you're losing him slowly.
Maybe that’s worse than him being ripped away.
Jason’s eyes dodge yours and he wants to peel his skin off his bones. It feels wrong for you to touch him. It feels all wrong. He can’t bring his hands to your hips or to your hands or anywhere. You don’t feel like you're his anymore and it’s all his fault. He told you you were a mistake. You always deserved better than him but not a single part of him can bring himself to push again. Because you look at him with soft eyes as if you didn’t just explode on each other and have a real fight. You look at him like he’s still the only person you could ever love wholly and solely.
“You're gonna regret it, Jay. Hank fucking sucks and I don’t fucking like him either. But you’re gonna regret it.”
“Why did you fight me over him? You said he was gonna kill me.” Jason asks, his voice is soft.
Jason knows if he weren't high, that part of everything would hurt, too. A lot more than it does right now. And he is so thankful he doesn't have to deal with that pain. He's so tired of pain.
“You wouldn’t let me kill Jerry. And I knew it’d piss you off if I stopped you.” You move your hands to his legs. "And Hank isn't Jerry." You shake your head softly. "If you kill him, that'll be it and I don't want that for you, Jay."
You watch Jason hang his head, highlights from the light in the room bouncing off the white streak of hair. You know you can’t really get through to him, not right now but you want to believe you can. It makes it easier.
Jason just finds it hard to look at you. And he wants to know how you can do that. The drug still wins and he is sturdy in the plan, unmoving and relentless. But, he listens anyway and you make his chest hurt. The guilt and shame are thundering and ramming the jail bars in the back of his head as hard as they can. He doesn’t know why you're still here. Maybe it’d be easier if he believed you were working another angle. And for a second, he starts to talk himself into it, the drug encouraging him.
Maybe you're just trying to get inside of his head so the other Titans can finish him off. Maybe you're just using him, like Crane said. Maybe you want to the drug all for yourself now. Maybe you're waiting for your own moment to finish him off, he falls into your criteria now, doesn’t he?
But his eyes back to yours and all the fight he has is shaken loose, scattering through his chest as an apology breaks through.
“Sorry for what I said and for fighting you.” Jason says quietly.
Your face softens and you think maybe it's working, just a little bit. “Yeah, me too.” You nod softly.
Jason puts the gun off to the side, making sure the barrel is facing away from both of you. He finally finds it himself to bring his hands to your waist. They’re shaking and hesitant, his grip not nearly as strong as it usually is.
“No, I mean it. I don’t mean any of that shit. I don’t want you involved.” Jason's voice becomes barely a whisper. "I don't want anything to happen to you."
“Jay, I am fucking terrified for you.” You place your hands over his. “I know you don’t see it, but this is going to get fucking bad and I am scared, I know you’re not. But I am. Deactivate that bomb and come home, Jay, please.” You clear your throat. “I’m not mad…I get it. I know you didn’t mean it. I didn't either.”
“I can’t.” Jason drops his hands, shaking his head. “This is me. Gotham needs someone who can control the crime and do the hard shit. We have a plan and it’ll work out, alright? You just have to trust me.” A piece of the real Jason finds a way to break through as his jaw clenches and his brows furrow with the sudden shake his of his head. “Please.”
“I trust you more than anyone but I don’t trust Crane. You can still do this Red Hood stuff. You don’t need Crane. You never fucking needed Bruce either. You don’t need Dick. You don’t need any of them, Jay. You can just do your own thing and protect Gotham the way you want to. All you and I’ll stand beside you if you want me to. You don’t need him.”
“Yeah, I do.” Jason keeps it short.
“Okay.” You nod your head and it actually burns as if acid is being poured down your throat.
It has to be the drug. That has to be how Crane has been able to manipulate him so well. But, it is nearly paralyzing because for some reason, Crane asking Jason to do all of this, is more important than you asking him to come home. With you. Somehow, staying loyal to Crane is more important to him right now. Jason on the anti-fear drug is not the Jason you know and love.
“Deactivate the bomb. I’m asking nicely and then just beat the shit out of Hank if that’s what you want to do. I’ll get some popcorn and watch. You can’t come back from that, okay? Like you said.”
“It’s done.”
“Alright, Jay.” You let out a sigh.
You tried your best and you want him back. You don’t want him to wake up when this is over and deal with the fact he killed Hank. It’s going to destroy him. The guilt will finish him off and you hate the very idea of that. He’s not too far gone but you're terrified he will be soon. So, you move your hands to his cheeks again and press your lips to his.
Jason freezes, bits of shock taking over his body because in no world did he expect you to kiss him. But you do and you kiss him with all of the strength you can muster as Jason squeezes your hips and kisses you back. You kiss him with everything in you as if that’s enough to suck out the drug from his bloodstream and bring him back home. You kiss him as if it’s enough to make everything better again like putting a bandaid on a bruise to trick your mind into thinking it doesn’t hurt. But you pull away and his eyes are still dilated and he lacks that cheesy but lazy grin he would normally have. And you hate this.
“I’m going back to the manor.” You pause, lingering for a few seconds as if to be hoping Jason would ask you to stay but the words never leave his lips. You don’t know it, but he almost says them. He doesn’t want you here but you still feel like home and he really misses the warmth of home. Jason doesn’t like feeling so cold all the time. “I hope you can live with this when you have a comedown. I hope you snap out of it. I don’t know what I’m gonna do if you go through with this. You’re really pushing the line, Jay.” Jason watches you carefully as you start to leave. “Be careful and just fucking think about it. Let yourself be sober for an hour, okay? Love you.” You let out a sigh before you head out of the room before Jason can even reply.
Jason keeps his stare on the doorway before he lets out a breath. He is begging you to understand and just trust him. You always said you trust him more than anyone and this is the one time he desperately needs you to trust him. It’ll get messier if you keep trying to get him to be a Titan again and in his impaired state, it pisses him off.
The Titans have always treated him as lesser and leftovers. He was the replacement for Dick. That’s all he ever was and he was expendable, Deathstroke proved that. And he’s better, how they handle Hank is going to more proof. The only people who didn’t treat Jason like that are you and Gar. That’s it. The Titans are the enemy and he just wants you to see through their bullshit the same way you're trying to get Jason to see through Crane’s bullshit. He just wants you to trust him.
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You get back to the Manor, standing outside and looking at the entrance. The guilt is chewing at you, slowly eating you whole. You hate Hank, especially with the threat of killing Jason. But, you don’t think he deserves to die. Not unles he was really going to kill Jason when he went to meet him today. Then, at that point, he got what was coming. But you aren’t sure that’s really what the plan was and you feel horrible you couldn’t do anything to stop it.
You tried, you pulled your punches, but you tried and it wasn’t good enough. Hank might die today because you weren’t good enough. You hate him but you think about Dawn. Dawn doesn’t deserve to lose him. She loves him for reasons you will never understand but she doesn’t deserve to lose him. You know what it feels like. It’s not fair. And you feel guilty and it’s heavy and you hate you fought Jason, too. Every piece of today lays heavy on your chest and all you want to do is run out of Gotham. You don’t want to deal with any of it. But that’s not an option so you move forward, opening the door and entering the manor.
On top of the guilt over Jason, you also know you can't tell any of them what you found out. If you tell them, they'll know he's working with Crane. Jason didn't even want you to know and he even looked worried when you did figure it out. What if them knowing Crane is the partner puts Jason's life at risk? What if Crane has more than Jason on the outside? If you tell them, what if it gets him killed? And then it's your fault. Maybe it's wrong to keep it from the Titans, but you don't want to risk him getting killed again. Not if you don't have to and maybe, just maybe, Jason will change his mind last minute. You hope against hope, he will change his mind.
You head to the Batcave, not seeing any Titans around the manor. When you reach the cave, you see everyone around Hank looking worried. This is the moment for you where you know you’ll need to pick a side. If Jason goes through with this, you can’t sit in the middle and hope for the best. You’ll need to choose who you're working with. And at this point, you aren’t sure you want to work with any of them.
“You're okay!” Gar chimes as he spots you coming into view.
Your brows furrow. “Uh…yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?” You ask, looking around the room as the Titans put their eyes on you.
“Well…I mean…Hank.” Gar gestures and moves slightly, giving you a better view of Hank lying in a bed with the bomb on full display. “You also have a cut on your head and a bruise on your cheek.” Gar gestures a finger, mirroring where the bruise sits.
“Yeah, it’s fine.” You shake it off, finishing your walk to the Titans.
The Titans turn to look at you and suddenly, you feel like a spotlight has just found you in the middle of a hidden forest after committing mass murder. Dick looks disappointed which you think might actually be worse than him just being mad. Same with Kory. Conner looks confused. But Hank and Dawn look pissed and you don’t so much blame them. If you were Dawn and Hank were Jason, you’d be pissed, too. But it does make you stop in your tracks.
“Oh, now you’re gonna show your face around here!?” Hank yells.
“Uh…I-I…live…here?” You question but the manor hasn't really felt like home since Jason died anyway.
“And I have a fucking bomb in my chest!” Hank yells. “You were there!”
“We know you and Jason are close, but you have to see this isn’t right.” Dawn crosses her arms.
You blink at them and suddenly you're back at the tower. Suddenly, you're in Jason’s shoes. You never understood where their issue was with him then and you never ever got to understand. But, you tried. You tried to rationalize why Jason. Why did they pick him to target? Rachel was the good kid and Jason was the troublemaker. Jason was an asshole. Maybe. But you're looking at the two of them with a cut on your forehead and bruised knuckles, knowing you passed out and you're being blamed for something you didn’t even do. It was never Jason. It was always just someone to blame.
“W-what?” You ask as you feel the lump grow in your throat.
“Hank said he saw you there.” Kory explains.
“Why were you there?” Dick asks, his voice sterner than Kory but he wants to believe Sam didn't have anything to do with this.
It's actually breaking a part of you with everyone looking at you like that. They're pointing the finger at you and it hurts. You're supposed to trust them but they didn't even ask. You were passed out on the fucking floor and Hank assumes you took a nap, apparently, and they all just believe that. You might side with Jason but they can't really believe you would help him put a bomb in Hank's chest or even let him do it.
“I…I…I can’t….I can’t tell you.” You sputter as you shake your head. “But I didn’t know that’s what he was doing. You-you have to believe me.” You croak out as your eyes start to turn glassy.
“Just like we should believe you didn’t know he was alive?” Hank barks.
“You need to calm down.” Dawn whispers to him.
“Fuck that shit! She’s in on this! I bet he sent her here to make sure I die!”
“You guys can’t really believe she would do that, right?” Gar finally pipes up. He remembers what happened with Jason and he knows you're always on the edge of something terrible. He doesn’t want that edge to become literal.
“Why else would she have been there?” Dawn asks.
"Does it matter?" Gar asks but he keeps his voice soft and gentle because he still hates arguing. "She's hurt and that should mean something, right? You guys didn't ask, just jumped to conclusions." Gar's voice starts to go quiet. "Like with Jason."
You snap your attention to him as Gar's stare goes to the floor. Your heart breaks for him but you owe him for trying to defend you. You know how much he hates it. And you think maybe you'll tell him because he deserves it.
"It all seems real fucking convenient doesn't it?" Hank barks back, not falling for Gar siding with you. "It was all a set-up!"
“I went to fucking confront him.” You scoff but it comes out weak. “Are we really doing this? I didn’t fucking know about the fucking bomb or that Hank was even going to be there.”
“Bullshit! I said I’d kill him. I bet you tipped him off and that’s why this happened.” Hank gestures aggressively to his chest.
You grit your teeth as you look desperately to Dick before looking back to Hank. “Fuck you.” You sniffle. “You know what, fine. You wanna know what happened? I went to confront him high as fuck and I saw you. We fucking fought because while high, I knew I couldn’t let him kill you because he wouldn’t let me kill Jerry and I knew it’d piss him off.”
“Wow.” Kory huffs softly as she looks to the ground, placing a hand on her hip. But, she looks up quickly at you. "Wait, you were high?" Kory asks with confusion.
Your eyes glance to Gar and then Dick before landing on Kory. "I'm tired of feeling like this." Desperation coats your words. The comedown sucked and being angry also sucked, but maybe Jason's right. Maybe that is better than feeling like this and scared and paranoid. Maybe he's right. “Look, we fucking fought, I passed out and I came back here when I came to. So, fuck you." You look back to Hank.”
“Right, but you’re killing—“ Dawn tries to argue.
“Critiera. I have a criteria and Hank doesn’t fucking meet it. I can’t let my personal bias come in the fucking way." You turn your attention back to Hank. "You don’t meet it. You don’t deserve to fucking die even though you’re a piece of fucking shit who doesn’t learn from his mistakes.” You bark. “You figure out the bomb yet?” You look to Dick.
“No, just that it’s counting down his heartbeats.” Dick answers plainly.
“Wayne Enterprises.” You state. “I saw the blueprints before I passed out. Bet if you look into it, you can find a way to build a deactivator or whatever.” You look back to Hank. “I hope you live so Jason doesn’t have to deal with the guilt. And I did tell him you were gonna kill him…. after he had the bomb in your chest. Let me know if dies, I guess.” You scoff as you turn around and start to head out of the Batcave.
Gar looks at all of the Titans and he doesn't like seeing his friends targeted. He knows that Hank was just targeted by his best friend but you didn't do anything. It's not your fault what Jason does. You don't control him and Gar thinks it's wrong for them to attack you for it. So, he follows you up to the main living room.
You suck in a deep breath as your hands shake at your sides. Dick, Kory, and Conner didn't accuse you of anything but they weren't really on your side either. And it feels like you're being abandoned and you're reminded why you always left first. It was so much easier than feeling like this. It doesn't hurt when you're the one that leaves. It doesn't hurt like this. So, your fists ball at your sides as your nails dig into your palms and your jaw clenches. All you want is to go back to before and pause time. Why is that so much to ask for?
"Are you okay?" Gar asks quietly from behind you.
You hang your head and at least you have Gar. He might not always get it but he at least tries to. And you really hope, after all of this, you don't lose him either. You want to tell him but then you'd put him in the middle. You're standing in the middle of it all right now and it is absolute hell. You can't put that on Gar. But, you can vent and you say a little bit of what happened so you turn around to face him with the shake of your head.
"No! I had to fucking fight Jason because of fucking Hank!" You scrunch your nose in disgust. "That's fucking stupid! And I can't even fucking say how the hell that shit happened or what happened because I am terrified if I tell anyone knew what the fuck I know it could get him killed." You pause as you watch Gar's face soften. "But, he put a bomb in Hank's chest and he's an ass but he doesn't deserve to die." You suck in a ragged breath. "So, I fought him and we were both fucking high and we said some really horrible shit to each other and I have no idea how we're supposed to come back from that or how he's ever going to forgive me."
Gar nods with understanding and he really wishes he knew what was going on. "What did you guys say to each other?"
"I asked him where Rose was and, uh, maybe that's why she left him...to protect herself because takes low blows. He said I was using him, we were a mistake, I made him worse. Just... we both said a to."
Gar shakes his head, trying to process what he's being told. That doesn't sound like either of you. "Why would you guys even say that stuff to each other? I mean...Jason could be an asshole but he didn't say that kind to stuff to you."
"Yeah," You nod. "The, uh, the drug. It's the one he made and uh...it's not a normal drug like...it, uh, it makes people do things I think that they wouldn't normally. I think that's why Hank has a bomb in his chest. It's why we fought, too." You confess, figuring maybe that's enough of an explanation to clue Gar in a little bit but not too much that he immediately goes to Dick.
But Gar is just growing more confused. The two of you have talked about addiction before. You had stories like the one time with your dad and your dad being an addict. But, you talked about other kids on the streets. Gar kind of thought maybe everything that happened to you made you never want to take anything but now you're out here not only taking a drug but making it. Just like Jason. None of it makes sense.
"Why would you take it?"
"I can't tell you." You mutter as you hang your head. "I won't again, promise. It was for science." You suck in a breath as Gar scrunches his face in more confusion. "But...I know if we can get him off of it, we'll get him back."
"So, the Jason we know is still there?" Gar asks with hope in his eyes.
"Yeah, as if you really lost faith in him anyway." You manage a weak laugh earning you a soft smile from Gar.
"I have to believe he's in there somewhere. Even if no one else but you does." Gar nods his head softly.
"Yeah," You suck in a breath. "I know it's weird to think, now, I guess but...if we get him back...how do we come back from that?" You ask as you furrow your brows. "I mean, what we said, what he thinks of me." You watch Gar's brows furrow. "I think his partner is manipulating him and using Jason's trust in me against him. Just...based on what he said." You shake your head. "It's nothing but...ya know? Fought each other."
"Well, everyone tried to kill me once and we're all okay now." Gar tries to chuckle softly. "If the drug is what you say it is, maybe that's the end of it. We all know that's not really Jason. He would never hurt you, on accident or on purpose. And you wouldn't either. Maybe you guys just talk. You always got Jason to." Gar offers a soft smile.
"Yeah," You smile weakly. "I guess that's true."
"I'm sorry you guys fought though." Gar offers a sympathetic look just as Dick comes rushing through the clock, coming to a dead stop as he sees you both.
You readjust your stance as you look to the floor.
Dick lets out a sigh and he does not have time for this but he has to ask. "Did you know?" 
You shake your head as your eyes meet his. "I fucking swear I didn't. I would have called you."
Dick nods and he believes you. He doesn't agree with your morals but killing Hank seems a little off even for you. Even when it comes to Jason. When you explained your criteria to him, it seemed to matter enough to you. You mentioned it downstairs. You're not lying.
"Okay. You guys go back to the Cave once Dawn and Kory have Hank in a room. Help Conner if you can and just stay away from Hank." Dick goes to walk away but then stops, looking back at you. "Did you find anything out?"
You nod hesitantly. "I, uh, I don't think it'd help with Hank though. If I thought so I'd tell you."
"Alright." Dick lets out a sigh before he heads off.
"Well," You clear your throat. "That fucking sucks." You state as you can hear Kory, Dawn, and Hank coming from the Batcave. "I'm gonna grab something from my room and I'll meet you downstairs." You offer a soft nod to Gar before you head down the hallway.
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As the next three hours go by, Dawn takes off to steal the gold bars and give them to Jason. Dick goes after Dawn to try to stop her. Kory doesn't have any more answers about who brought Jason back from the dead which is a relief on your end. But, Connor still doesn't have the deactivor ready. It has to reach a 0% failure rate and he hasn't gotten that far yet.
You really hoped Jason would back out of it or he was just trying to get under the Titans' skin and none of it was real. But, as Hank's heartbeats dwindle down, you're starting to think he's really going to go through with this. He'll kill Hank and he can't just come back from that like he can with everything else. No one is going to care if Crane had him do it or not. It won't matter because Hank is a Titan. And you wonder what you're supposed to do.
If everything that happened today doesn't snap some sense into him, nothing you say or do will. It'll be up to Jason or the Titans to get him to stop taking the drug. Those will be the options. And you think maybe your only option will be to tell Dick everything you know. If anyone is going to know what to do, especially dealing with Jonathan Crane, it's going to be Dick. Maybe Crane will believe Dick figured it out on his own anyway. If Jason kills Hank, you don't think you can stand on his side anymore. It's the last thing you want to do but if he's willing to kill Hank, who knows what else he's willing to do and who else he's willing to kill. He will need to be stopped and you can't do it alone.
With only a few minutes left, Gar and you are seated watching Connor and the screen intently while you all have Dick on the comms. He found Dawn and she's with Jason. Jason tells Dawn all she has to do is shoot him and it'll save Hank. But, Dick is trying to convince her not to do it because Connor is almost there.
It comes down to just seconds when Connor finally gets the failure rate to 0%. He uses superspeed to rush through the manor while Gar and you get to your feet to watch on the monitor to Hank's room. But, just before Connor gets there, there's a thunder through the manor and the cameras go dead.
Gar and you keep your eyes on the screen as Kory runs up behind you both and pulls you both into a hug. Jason just killed Hank in cold blood. What are any of you even supposed to do now?
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That night, no one has much to say. Dick informed everyone what actually happened. Jason set Dawn up so when she pulled the trigger, it detonated the bomb. It's uncomfortable listening to it.  You listen but the only thing you really hear is that Jason just put Dawn through when you went through when Jason died. He knew what it did to you and then Jason still went and decided Dawn should deal with that pain and the guilt of it really being her fault. You're appalled and disgusted even though you know it's not really him. You just find yourself in a state of disbelief and fury. How could he do that to someone? After everything?
You were high and while you know, maybe you would have helped, you find it hard to believe you would. The drug is powerful and all-consuming but it was Jason's choice to take it. It was Jason's choice to go to Crane for help. It was all his choice. He had a choice here. And it lead him to kill Hank and put his blood on Dawn's hands. Crane might be manipulating him but between him and the drug, Jason is turning into a shell of someone you used to know and you're thinking you don't want to know this version of him. And you think about the pit and maybe that's why it's so easy for Jason to bypass every moral he's ever had. Maybe the pit did take a part of his soul that day and that's just making it easier for Crane to turn him into this. Maybe this is who he is now.
And because of that, you know you have no other choice but to go to Dick.
You love Jason more than anything on the planet but that wasn't enough for him and maybe it's not enough for you either. You love the Titans, too and he's killing Hank and putting it on Dawn, maybe he is going to pick you all off one by one. You aren't going to sit here and watch it happen. You're not going to let him do it.
"Hey." Gar says quietly as he walks into the Batcave where you're staring, looking at the Robin suit.
"Hey, how you holding up?" You look back to him with sympathy. Gar was friends with Hank.
"Uh...ya know." Gar shrugs, standing beside you. "Sucks." Gar lets out a breath, running a hand through his hair.
"Yeah." You answer shortly. "I'm sorry, Gar."
"It's not your fault." Gar lets out a sigh, looking to the ground and back to the suit. Bruce didn't get all of the blood out of it. There are still blotches of blood covering the R blade and the torso. He's tired of losing people, too. "What's wrong?" Gar asks, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. "You only look at the suits when you're thinking." Gar glances to you but you keep your eyes on the bloodstains.
You shake your head. "He killed Hank by making Dawn pull the trigger. That's kind of fucked...so," You shrug your shoulders. "Guess I'm just...I'm gonna have to come clean to Dick and throw Jason under the bus which also sucks." The words stick to your tongue like shards of glass.
Gar shakes his head quickly, knitting his brows together as he snaps his attention to you. "What do you mean? You said you'd always be on his side."
One of the things that kept Gar hopeful was that you were at least still on Jason's side. As long as you believed in him, Gar knew Jason had to still be there. But, if you're willing to throw in the towel after everything, that means that's it. It can't be it.
"He killed Hank." You look at Gar as you shrug. "He can't just kill innocent people."
"Yeah but..." Gar pauses, trying to figure out how he's going to argue with that. He agrees but if you give up, who does Jason have? Maybe he still needs someone in his corner. "You said he's still there. We just have to get through to him."
"Yeah, and then he did this. I begged him not to and that wasn't enough to get through to him." You argue. "So, I give up." 
Gar doesn't get it. You're the one person who's always on Jason's side. He knows this is fucked up. But he still believes his best friend is in there somewhere. Someone like Jason doesn't just go bad. They lived down the hall from each other and Gar knows him, too. Jason Todd is in there someone and he has to believe that. But you don't and it hurts. How can you give up?
"You love him. You can't...you can't really be giving up on him." Gar stutters as his heart breaks. "You always said you wouldn't and...I don't know. I get it but..." Gar shakes his head.
Gar's words strike a nerve. It's hard enough. It's not that you're giving up because you're not. You're going to Dick and that is to get him back. You can't do it on your own and you can't keep Jason's secrets for him anymore. It's not helping him, you, or the Titans. All it's doing is getting everyone else hurt or killed. You aren't giving up entirely but the idea that you shouldn't just because you love him pisses you off because it wasn't enough for Jason.
He gave up on you long before you ever had the chance to give up on him.
"Yeah—" You bite down, crunching your teeth together so hard you swear your teeth are going to shatter through your lips. "What if loving him isn't fucking enough, Gar!? Cause it sure as shit wasn't enough for him."
It wasn't enough to keep him here with you. It wasn't enough to keep him on solid ground. You know you will never be the same as Bruce or Dick. Their approval meant something different to him and that is fine. You accept that. But you don't know how your love for him wasn't enough to keep him at least trying to be safe. At least trying to just exist. You want to know why your love for him wasn't enough for him to consider your feelings. You want to know why love just wasn't enough. It should have been but it wasn't. It was always enough for you to not give up even when you wanted to. So, why the fuck wasn't it enough for him?
"I know you can't believe that. It's always been you and him." Gar shakes his head. "He's going through some shit. I don't think that's what it was. You said it was his partner and the drug. We just have to get him off it and away from them."
"Yeah, but..." Sam's bottom lip starts to quiver. "But why wasn't me loving him enough?" Her words break and tears leak from her eyes like a warm down faucet. Steady drops of broken. "Why wasn't my love for him enough?" You pause as you take a deep breath. "He did all of this!" You throw your hands out. "Without me. Without ever telling me shit and we were supposed to be a fucking team. Me loving him isn't fucking enough and it wasn't enough for him to fucking stay alive or say goodbye or come home when he had the chance."
Gar hangs his head and he wishes he had an answer but he doesn't. "I don't know but Jason has always been Jason." Gar's voice is quiet. "Maybe it was enough for him but he has more going on. I think you know why it wasn't enough but you don't want to admit it." Gar snips slightly. "You always knew whatever he was thinking and he did with you. That's why you know how to get him back!" Gar protests. "It's why Dick hasn't been fighting you and why Kory hasn't. We know that you can get him back and it sucks that you have to deal with it. But, it's Jason." Gart shakes his head. "We just have to get him away from his partner and the drug. We can get him back."
You look back to the suit because you know he's right. It's not fair to stand here and point a finger saying he doesn't love you enough. You know it's ridiculous but you're hurt and you want the blame off of your own shoulders. But, deep down you already think you know why it feels the way it does.
Things get good and it's a lot easier to run away from them and hurt them first before they ever have the chance to hurt you. Maybe that is what it boils down to. Jason got traumatized and doesn't know how to handle his problems. Bruce made him feel like Robin was the only thing he'd ever be good at and he was nothing without that mantle. So, it gets taken away and Jason's back to being that kid on the streets with nothing but a list of people who throw in the towel when things get a little too hard. Maybe he did it to protect you sure, but maybe it was also easier keeping you in the dark so you'd leave if you were going to anyway. He did what he always does. This time though, it's more than pushing one person away. It was desperation to be better, to heal his own mental illness by taking a shortcut and sacrificing pieces of himself. It's not about you, you were just collateral damage and you know that. And you aren't sure that makes it any better.
"I have been trying desperately to get through to him and it doesn't fucking work. He's stubborn as all fucking hell and he's really digging his feet in and I think he's doing on purpose. Jason Todd was always really good at self-destruction so maybe we fucking let him. Maybe we just let him blow himself up and see where that gets him. Maybe he needs to hit fucking rock bottom where his partner turns on him. Maybe he needs it. If me begging him and fighting him isn't enough, then he's on his own. I can't bail him out of this one."
"I don't want you to regret it though." Gar shakes his head. "And I don't want to lose him. Just yesterday you were the one that said you were scared to tell Dick in case it got him killed." Gar nearly pleads with you.
"I know but I am also worried that he's going to pick you guys off one by one. And..." You shake your head. "That's not fair to you guys. I am scared he's going to get himself killed but I can't just...watch him do this shit and not do anything. We're supposed to protect people." You urge. "We are supposed to protect people and right now, the Titans are the ones who need to be protected from him. Jason needs help, too but I don't know what else to do unless you have a better idea. You know Dick doesn't want him dead."
"It sucks, okay? All of this sucks!" Gar yells. "Losing Hank, Rachel is off trying to bring Donna back and I don't even know if she can do that, Donna is dead. Dawn is leaving forever. Jason is losing his mind and now you're giving up! This sucks! We're supposed to be a team and we're supposed to help each other. But, now Jason is killing Hank and everyone else wants to go after Jason. And now you want to help! I don't want to lose more of you guys. You guys are the only family I have." Gar's voice grows defeated and he didn't think being a Titan would look like this.
You pause for a few seconds and Gar never yells. "You know I wouldn't do anything involving Jason without thinking it through. Dick will know what to do and I'll make him promise not to kill him. We go after Jason to get to his partner. We get the partner and we get Jason. I have a plan."
"You do?" Gar asks cautiously, unsure if you're just saying it to make him feel better.
"Of course, I do." You huff. "I didn't sleep. I was thinking. Dick is not going to like my plan and neither are you. But I have a plan. You guys are my only family, plus Molly, I get it. Fuck Hank, ya know? But he was one of the Titans." You shake your head. "I give up on bailing him out of this shit but I'm not giving up on trying to help." You suck in a breath. "He wouldn't if it were me."
"Yeah, true." Gar nods softly. "So, you're just...going to tell Dick about the drug and his partner?" Gar asks.
"Yep." You nod. "That is going to be a fun conversation." You roll your eyes. "Wonder if he'll lecture me then or later about the drug." You offer a soft smile to Gar who just glares. "Yeah, yeah, yeah I know. It was dumb." You mock. 
"Yeah, seriously, please don't go do that again." Gar states softly.
"Of course, not. We see where that leads us." You widen your eyes, looking back to the suit. 
"Right." Gar nods slowly before taking in a deep breath. "I'm...I'm gonna make a pizza, do you wanna help?" Gar asks.
"Uh, I'm okay. I'm just gonna wait for Dick to get back. Rip the band-aid off type of deal."
Gar nods softly. "Let me know how it goes." Gar smiles softly before he heads out of the Batcave.
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You sit on the front steps of the manor, waiting for Dick to get home from taking Dawn to the airport. You run through a whole speech to give to Dick. There is still that fear that if you tell Dick about Crane, maybe Crane will snap and think Jason turned on him and he'll have him killed. Crane is completely insane and that could happen. But, you know it's the right thing to do anyway. It might feel like a betrayal and it is. But, you have to do it. You just hope that when Jason finds out you went to Dick, one day he'll understand. Maybe when he's sober he'll understand. Jason can be really understanding and forgiving. You beg he'll understand one day.
The black car pulls right up to the manor and Dick spots you as you straighten your posture. He shuts the car off and sucks in a deep breath. You sitting on the front steps, seemingly waiting for him, seems like it's going to be bad news. Anytime you want to talk to him, it's usually something not good. Dick lets out a sigh, hanging his head for a second before pulling the keys from the ignition and exiting the vehicle. He walks up to the front steps, looking down at you as you offer him a nervous grin.
"Hey." You state cautiously.
"What's going on?" Dick asks.
You clear your throat as you get to your feet. "If I tell you who Jason is working with and what the drug does....can you promise me something?" You ask as Dick's eyes widen slightly.
Of all people, he didn't ever really expect you to come clean with anything.
"What is it?" Dick asks.
"Um...can you promise you won't kill him and that Kory and Conner won't either?" You ask as you tug your sleeves over your hands. "I know, okay? I know what he just did was fucking fucked, okay? I know. But...it's not...it's not really all him and I just...he's your brother and you took me in. And I...I don't..." You shake your head. "I can't lose him again, okay? So, you gotta promise you guys won't kill him and that we'll do everything in the world to make sure this shit doesn't get him killed again, okay? That's the only way I can tell you anything."
"I don't want to kill him." Dick's words are stern. "He just killed Hank." Dick pauses and he sees your eyes water and your weight shift between your feet. Jason was Dick's responsibility and some of this is still on Dick. "Okay." Dick nods. "I won't kill him and I'll talk to Kory."
That's all you needed to start talking. All you needed was the confirmation that they're going to make sure Jason doesn't die again. Jason still deserves a chance here. Everything is a mess and he's really messed up big time but that doesn't mean he shouldn't get a chance at something better. And at the end of it all, you still think Jason deserves his chance at being happy and safe and healthy. He just needs to get through this shit.
"Okay." You say hesitantly. "Um...so, you know Jason likes to play games." You states. "Well, the formula, the reason you didn't know what it was, it was coded. It was just a game. I think he expected you to find it." You explain. "But, then you gave it to me and I brought to a friend of mine who's a genius and he helped me crack it."
"He coded the damn formula and you figured it out?" Dick questions.
"Yes, he did and no, Tim did which by the way," You laugh softly. "Good luck with that one. He knows you're Nightwing, Robin 1.0. Jason was Robin 2.0. I'm Bluejay and Bruce is Batman. I denied it but he's got research on all of us and the Titans. He knows. So, good luck with that, dumbass."
Dick blinks at you for a second. He was so careful, how could someone figure out who he is? Bruce was even more careful than he was. No one has ever figured it out and now you suddenly know someone who knows? How did that even happen? Dick really does not have time for this.
"What? How does he know?" Dick almost demands.
"Yeah, uh, you can perform a trapeze trick that only you and your dad could perform. Nightwing also performs that same trick. Like I said, figure out you're Robin and the other pieces just come together." You shrug. "Which is how he figured the rest of us out. So, good job. I denied it of course but let me tell you, he's a genius and he definitely isn't going to let it rest. We used to guess who Robin and Batman were. He had theories and so did I. So, good luck dealing with that."
"Great." Dick scoffs. Dick can't help but think coming back to Gotham might have been a little bit of a bad idea. How he is stuck dealing with all of this at the same time? Can't he just catch a break? "Continue."
"Right, so he cracked it for me and it's fear. So, naturally, I go to his lab and make the drug and I take it."
Dick lets out a sigh as he looks to the ground. "I can't believe you went and made and then took Jason's drug. What if it were a setup?" Dick places a hand on his hip and you almost laugh.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't do drugs and that's bad science. Lecture me later. That's not the point of this." You scrunch your nose. "Well, I didn't feel scared or paranoid or worried. I didn't feel much of anything besides anger. That was still there. So, Jason made a drug that cures fear."
Dick watches you carefully and he only knows one person that could make a drug that could cure fear. "You've got to be kidding me." Dick holds the bridge of his nose. "Jonathan Crane." Dick scoffs. "He's working with Jonathan Crane?" Dick nearly starts yelling.
"Yep." You roll your eyes. "So I confronted him. That's when I found Hank and I yelled at him and questioned why he'd work with Crane. He said Crane helped him and made him better, that Crane actually cares about him unlike you, Bruce, and me. So, he's been working with Crane and making an anti-fear drug and Crane is manipulating him and doing a damn good job." You explain. "He was high the day he went after the Joker. It's what got him killed. I think Crane probably planned for it. Expected Jason to die that night and the only one not in the loop was Jason."
"So, Crane could use the excuse of him bringing Jason back." Dick finishes. "Why would Jason go to Crane in the first place?" Dick asks and for the life of him, he can't figure out what would lead Jason to Crane.
Jason has always been troubled and had his issues but this just seems crazy. Jason knows the risks of Jonathan Crane, Dick does. At least Jason going after the Joker finally makes sense. Dick knows Jason wasn't that reckless but working with Crane?
"He was freezing on patrol. Getting hurt all the time. Nightmares, shaking hands. His leg pain was still there. Bruce took Robin away. Dick, it was bad for him. Like...really fucking bad. I guess he was desperate enough. I had no idea he was doing this shit. I was ready to call you and come back, with him."
Dick pauses for a few seconds as he starts to think and he knows why Crane has been so helpful now. It's to put the entire target on Jason and keep Crane out of the limelight until the time is right. It's how Crane always functioned and Jason and Dick fell right into the trap.
"Okay, so, why did he target Hank and not you? You know. You took his drug. Crane is going want to seclude him from everyone that cares about him. That's not Hank, that's you." Dick points out and he's also trying to make sure you're really coming clean. At the end of the day, you've been the one on Jason's side and it's hard for Dick to believe you're just turning over a new leaf over Hank Hall.
"Oh, have no fear, Dickolas, thought of that, too." You state. "Hank was enough to set the Titans off. Piss everyone off and target Jason entirely, leaves Crane out of it. As for me, though, I think Jason still has a line and I'm the line. I threw the first punch yesterday, not him. We both know if Jason didn't pull his punches, I'd have more than a few bruises. But, I think Crane is trying to turn him against me, too. Like you said, seclude him."
"What did he say?" Dick asks.
"Um...that I liked him better before? That Crane was right about me. Whatever the fuck that means. He also said I was using him?" You roll your eyes. "I think Crane is trying but there's a part of Jason that knows it's bullshit."
"Right, okay." Dick nods. "So, how does the drug work? If he can refrain from hurting you, couldn't he refrain from killing Hank?"
"I don't think it works like that. He asked me if I wanted to help and I almost did because I was already mad at Hank. I would never do that otherwise. It's like the only thing you want to do is hurt someone else because it's thrilling. You don't feel much of anything but anger when something sets you off. And it can be something small that sends you into a rage, it did for me. I'm thinking it works the same for Jason. I didn't care that I was hurting him or that we were fighting. I didn't care. I didn't even care that he was gonna kill Hank. But, I still didn't want to hurt him. There was something that still kept me from actually physically hurting him. I could have but I didn't. I think he has some restraint but I think if Crane picks at those parts of him, he'll crack."
"It's the exact opposite of the fear gas while still letting Crane reap the benefits." Dick lets out a scoff, almost mad at himself he didn't figure it out sooner. "Jason said Crane was right about you." Dick states. "Did Jason tell him about all of us?"
"I don't know. We didn't really talk about it but I'm guessing he did. I'm not sure what else he would mean by Crane being right about us."
"That's why Crane is helping him. Jason gets the cure to fear and Crane gets information on all of us and Bruce." Dick shakes his head. "It's a mutual benefit." Dick scoffs and he's growing more mad at Jason for going to Crane in the first place. If Jason wanted to fuck up his life, that's on him but now he's dragged everyone else down with him. And for what?
"Yep." You nod your head. "Look, Crane is gonna lose it eventually, it's what he does. We gotta get to Jason before that happens. I don't know how to do that alone. It's one of the reasons I'm telling you."
"I'm guessing you have an idea though."
"Well, if we break into Arkham and kill Crane..."
"No." Dick states. "We're not going to kill him."
"But, literally all of our problems would be solved if you let me do it." You nod. "Like, ya know, in and out. Boom, dead. Jason comes back home. It's a win."
"We're not killing people." Dick states. "Besides, we'll need Jason first. If he's as far gone as it sounds, he'll think we're doing it to spite him and then what? We need to know what Crane has planned. The last time Crane was up to something, he had the entire system rigged with his fear gas. If you go and kill him before we know the plan, he could release the new drug and then what happens?"
You narrow your eyes but nod. "Yeah, that's true. I didn't think of that. So, what do we do then?" 
"Well, I'll need to get to Crane." Dick states.
"We." You correct him as you cross your arms. "You're not gonna do this alone. It involves Jason so you involve me. If not, any new information I get, I keep to myself."
Dick doesn't want you involved. None of this should even be the Titans business. This should remain between him and Jason. Based on everything Crane has already told Dick, putting this on Jason, it does seem as though Dick is supposed to be Jason's target somewhere down the line. It's supposed to be between them. But, you've lodged yourself in the middle of it and he remembers San Francisco.
"Fine, but you do what I say." Dick warns.
"Deal." You mock him with wide eyes.
Just then Dick gets a phone call from Babs. Apparently, there was a targeted attack on Crane last night in Arkham by Red Hood. For his own safety, he's being transferred today to Blackgate. And Dick thinks you don't have to break him out. He'll already be accessible.
"Go get your suit. I have a plan." Dick states as he turns back towards the car.
"Uh...yeah, okay?" You question quickly before you spin around and dart into the manor before Dick can change his mind.
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Dick and you head off to Arkham Asylum as you wait for Crane to be transferred. On the way, Dick clued you in on what was going on and what Babs told him. Dick's new plan is actually to kidnap Crane and hold him hostage. You and Dick are going to lure Jason out to the cabin where some of their Robin training took place. It's secluded, away from everyone else who could get hurt and Jason will know exactly where to go. Dick knows those woods like the back of his hand. It's an even playing field for the two of them. And you're thrilled.
You have yet to meet Crane face to face but you already hate him. You hate what he did to the city even if you admire the creativity of a fear gas. But, he's insane and you've got a real problem with anyone who turns other innocent people into monsters, especially by using their own pain against them. It's exactly what he's been doing to Jason. Holding Crane hostage, might be fun for you. And at the end of this, maybe it'll work and you'll get Jason back. But, you're trying not to bank on that. The plans don't always seem to go as planned.
The two of you watch as the guards bring out Crane and that's when Dick gives you the all-clear. The two of you head off towards the transport van, sneaking around pillars and other cars to remain undetected. Dick is the first to make the move and grab the guard near the driver's side of the van. You then go after the one coming from the back of them. Dick and you both knock the two men unconscious and leave them on the ground before heading to the back of the van.
Dick takes down the last guard before he opens the back of the van to reveal Jonathan Crane looking somewhere between confused and worried. Your fists ball at your sides as your teeth grit and he's definitely made his way to the top of your list.
"Let's go." Dick states turning around and walking away.
You glare at him for a few more seconds and you debate for just a split second on shooting acid at him or throwing a knife. One swift move and it'd be over for him. It would be over for Jason. But Dick is right. If he has something planned to poison the city, you need to know. So, you roll your eyes and turn around, following Dick to the car while Crane scurries out of the van to follow the two of you. 
Dick opens the passenger door for Crane while you get in the back. Crane offers you a displeased smile as you grimace at him. Dick gets back in the car, sending you a quick but warning glance before he starts the car again.
The drive is quiet at first, Dick and you wanting to not say a word to Crane or each other with him in the car. Instead, Dick focuses on just getting you all to the cabin and how he'll handle the aftermath of everything. You, on the other hand, think about how mad Jason is going to be when he finds out you're here. It's going to be another problem to sort out but he'll understand later because he has to. And you focus all of your anger and worry on Crane. The hit was on purpose so Jason could break him out which means some part of their plan is coming together and you focus your anger on that. It's a lot easier to be angry with Crane than worry about Jason and how this plan could go south.
After awhile though, apparently, Crane gets tired of the quiet.
"I'm an Alfa man myself. Those Italians, those lines, that flair...the sprezzatura. It's a term. It means the art of making something complicated look easy. Like that trail of bodies you guys left back there. You didn't even break a sweat, did you? Like old pros. See, now that is sprezzatura." Crane states with ease but he pauses for a second, looking over to Dick and spotting a gun. "Look, I don't need to worry about that piece you nicked from the B.O.P. back there, do I? I mean you wouldn't shoot a bound and defenseless man now, would you?"
"Depends." Dick keeps his eyes on the road, offering Crane no emotion.
"I would." You state with enthusiasm from the backseat.
Crane looks back at you with a slight scowl. "That is not very nice."
"I'm not nice." You quip with a chortle.
"So, just bad cop and bad cop, huh?" Crane asks but all he gets is a shrug and an eyebrow raise from you. "Are you his little sidekick?"
"No." You scoff. "Shut the fuck up before I make you."
Dick glances in the mirror, giving you another warning look. You mock the look right back.
"She is a feisty one, isn't she?" Crane looks at Dick.
"Shut up." Dick groans.
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Jason saw you with Dick as you left Arkham. That little voice is the back of head that Crane has triggered gets a little bit louder. Of all people, you're going to work with Dick. He's told you to stay out of it but you won't. You know Jason is going to go after Dick and yet here you are, kidnapping his new mentor who actually cares about him with Dick. With his older brother. The original Robin. That's when Jason is piecing together maybe you have ditched your loyalty to him and moved with the Titans. You swore you wouldn't and he is ready to explode.
Jason: teaming up with Dick now?
He doesn't know why he texts it. He doesn't know exactly why he's going to bother because you'll lie to him anyway. You always swore you wouldn't but he knows if you are working with him, you'll lie to him. But, there's something inside of him that has to ask you anyway. He wants to know why. You hated Hank, too. And in that moment of being high, you understood it. That can't be the only reason you'd suddenly be on Dick's side. You're never on his side.
You: no.
Jason nearly groans out loud with the simple response.
Jason: why are you with him then? kidnapping crane?
You: involves you, Dick is pissed about Hank just making sure you don't kill each other
Jason doesn't buy it. It is never as simple as making sure people get along with you. That was always Gar's job. If it were about making sure they don't kill each other, you'd have Gar. That's not it. Jason is starting to wonder if you're just going after Crane. Maybe Crane is your target and Jason is Dick's. Maybe you're in this together. You and Dick have to be.
You: maybe I want a shot Crane
Jason grins softly at his phone as he looks up the gloomy sky above Gotham. Jason isn't going to let you kill Crane and he's betting Dick won't either. Dick is smarter than that and he'll know there's a bigger plan and Crane won't give it up. But, he finds it amusing because maybe that is just your motive. It is a very you motive to have in order to tag along.
Jason: you won't kill him
You: lol that a bet?
Jason: I'm serious
You: So am I
Jason: be careful
You: you be careful
Jason: this is between us not you Jason: if you're there for Crane leave dick to me
He says it on purpose. Fine, if you want your shot at Crane, you can take it. Jason knows you won't do it. You didn't get to kill the Joker and you think Crane is bad for Jason and he's turning Jason into something he's not. Jason firmly believes you'd offer Jason the shot instead of taking it yourself. So, he says it on purpose just to see if you'll actually go after Crane or if you'll go against Jason and protect Dick. He says it just to see which side you're really on. If you protect Dick, he has his answer and Crane is right.
You: involves you so it does involve me and yeah that wasn't convincing. Don't kill him that's tragic just like I said in San Fran two Robins fighting 
Jason: stay out of it
You: don't fucking shoot me
Jason: how do you know I'll show up?
You: revenge on Dick, we have Crane, I'm here, you can't resist a good challenge
Jason: lol yeah
You put your phone back in your pocket and keep your conversation between you, just that. Crane doesn't need to know he texted you. That might be bad. But, you already have a feeling what Jason is doing. Ever since he came back, it's been about what side you're on. He's making you choose and while you're here with Dick, you're just trying to do what's in Jason's best interest. Despite your conversation with Gar, you aren't giving up. You aren't completely picking sides. If this blows up and Jason gets away, you can always keep to the story that you were just there to make sure they didn't kill each other. What Jason doesn't know, can't hurt him.
The speakers start ringing through the car as Dick glances to the screen. Dick's lets out a sigh before he tabs the answer button on the screen.
"Hello?" Dick states.
"Where are you, Dick?" Barbara asks.
"Change of plans." Dick states and you want to know how he's able to remain so emotionless.
"Bring Crane back." Barbara demands.
"I will." Dick states casually.
"I'd get that in writing if I were you." Crane states.
"Shut up!" You groan.
"You brought Y/n with you, seriously? And is that him listening?"
"I volunteered." You chime.
"Yo, Babs." Crane chimes back.
"Jesus, Dick. I need Crane back here right now."
Dick looks to Crane and he's definitely not bringing Crane back. "Gotta go." Dick states before he hangs up, earning a snort from you.
"She's gonna kill you." You chuckle.
"I overheard the police talking about what happened...to that Hawk fellow." Crane states.
Dick scrunches his face, taking a harsh turn around a corner, you grabbing the Oh Shit handle from the back.
"Red Hood is a monster. We've both got proof of that now. But I can still help you. You know, just let me know what I can do."
"You can shut up." Dick states. "Enjoy the sprezzatura."
You smile widely from the back seat. You like this version of Dick. It's more fun.
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After a while longer in the car, you finally start to pull into the woods. You adjust yourself to look out of the window as Dick drives. He's driving through a clearing but it is surrounded by trees and overgrown grass. Sometimes, you forget the insanity Bruce put Jason and Dick through in order to let them be Robin but as you watch the trees grow thicker the further Dick drives, you remember. Jason didn't talk much about the cabin. The most he said was that it was brutal. Maybe a part of you doesn't want to know what he went through.
Dick finally stops the car outside of a chain that's chained to two posts, blocking off the rest of the path.
"Let me go." Crane states.
"Not gonna happen." Dick says.
Dick gets out of the car, leaving Crane and you. Dick unlocks the chain while Crane decides he's going to try and make a run for it. He glances back to you before quickly unlocking the door and bolting out of the car as quickly as he can with his hands still cuffed in front of him. You start laughing as you get out of the back of the car, resting your arm on the open door.
"Oh, so he's stupid, stupid?" You cackle as you look over to Dick.
"Guess so." Dick chuckles, jerking his head toward the woods. "Bruce has the place rigged. He has to know that." Dick says, amusement in his voice as you btoh start walking in the direction Crane ran.
"Yeah, that's what Jason said." You laugh softly. "Part of your training was to avoid them." You mock softly as you hear Crane yell from a few yards ahead of you. "So, Crane failed."
"Jason told you about this place?"
"Just that and that it was brutal. He told me about the other stuff, not really this." You suck in a breath, watching the leaves crunch beneath your shoes. 
The two of you find Crane strung up in a net in the trees. Dick sticks his hands in his pockets looking only mildly amused while you're on the verge of bursting into a fit of laughter. If it were up to you, you'd just leave him there and let the birds of prey get to him. A slow and painful death sounds perfect for him.
"You're supposed to be smart but you didn't think there would be a trap?" You question as you look up to Crane who just glares down at you.
"Are you done now?" Dick asks, looking up to Crane.
Crane scowls at you btoh. Dick goes to cut him down and offers no warning before Crane falls right to the ground. You start laughing as you watch Crane groan from the ground.
"I find that funny." You beam down at him.
"You're not pleasant." Crane glares back at you.
"I know." Sam shrugs cheerfully. "Neither are you." You widen your eyes to mock him.
"Get up." Dick grabs Crane by the arm, dragging him to his feet. "Are you having fun?" Dick asks you.
"Yes, yes I am." You basically skip as the three of you start walking.
"Ah, is this where you carve up your victims?" Crane asks after a few minutes of walking, Dick pushing him from the back.
"Just keep walking." Dick states.
"Dick wouldn't make a good Leatherface. He's too nice." You grin wildly back at Crane before you gain a pep in your step. You don't see it but Dick almost grins.
The three of you get to the cabin and Dick plops Crane in a chair at the table before he chains him to the table. You take a seat at a chair to the left of Crane, mostly so he's in hitting distance in case he tries something again.
"It's not what you think it is." Crane warns. "Look, I had nothing to with what happened to your friend. What's his name, Hawk?"
"You don't get to talk about him." Dick threatens.
"It was Red Hood who did it. The kid's a monster."
You grit your teeth as Crane speaks. Jason isn't a fucking monster. He was never a monster. He was never a poison. He was never bad. He was always just a victim of everything around him and you're sick of people making him out to be this horrible, no good, and irredeemable person because that is not Jason Todd. And it shouldn't ever be.
"Bullshit! You were the one that made Jason into a monster." Dick yells back and a part of you almost lets out a breath of relief because finally, someone else sees it. "The attack at Arkham was a phony. It wasn't a hit. It was just an excuse to get your ass out of Blackgate. Red Hood's your protege. And I know he's coming here to save you."
"You may be overestimating him."
"He'll come. He knows this place." Dick states. "Bruce took him here, too. It's where he trained us." Dick says before he opens one of the cabinets, revealing monitors with feeds to cameras around the property. "We'll see him coming a mile away."
It's as if every time you find something more about Bruce, the more you think he's insane. You're pretty sure he didn't really need that many monitors or need to throw kids into the woods to train them.
"So, why would he walk into a trap?" Crane asks.
"Because he can't help himself. Because you made him feel invincible. Because I brought her." Dick glances to you and you almost scoff. You're only here because you have information and the ability to continue to get information.
"You think I changed him? Oh, buddy, no. I got news for you. That kid came to me broken, okay? All I did was rebuild him. And it was easy, too after what you did to him in SF. And that Titans business, what a twisted mind-fuck. I kind of wish I'd actually thought of that myself." Crane looks to you. "And you're using another kid. How did that work out last time?"
"He's not using me you fucking prick. He didn't want me to come." You grit your teeth at him. "Jason was never fucking broken."
That's the thing that even Jason never got. He was never broken. He wasn't damaged goods and he wasn't a poison. He was just Jason Todd and he had his problems but he wasn't broken. He was hurt and there is a very big difference between being broken and damaged and just being hurt. He never needed to be fixed.
"You didn't fucking fix him. He never needed to be fucking fixed. You just made him worse and then convinced him he was fixed." You bite back.
"Oh, is that right? Tell me, why didn't he come to you? He's better now, isn't he? He told me all about you." Crane taunts in a way that is almost effortless.
"No, he's not better and I'm willing to bet he didn't." You suck in a breath, trying desperately not to let Crane win. But, you really were never good about maintaining your temper when it comes to people you love.
"Acid generation, held captive, tortured. Dick found you. All that SF stuff, you were there. Right with him. You couldn't save him then."
Dick almost expects you to finally snap. Jason told Crane about you and that should have been his line to never cross. You have done everything in your power not to cross the line to loop Dick in and Dick actually wants to help. But then you just start grinning because if that's all Crane knows then he doesn't know everything. Which means, Jason was always just trying to keep you at a distance from him. A part of him didn't trust Crane enough and you're hoping you can peck at that like Crane's been doing to every other part of Jason.
"Yeah, all true." You nod your head. "But, you're wrong about him. And you're wrong about Dick, too." You deflect, trying not to give away Jason hiding something from him.
Dick takes his chance to get the conversation away from you. You shouldn't be bullied by Crane and you might snap if Crane continues. "It's not true. Whatever Jason told you."
"Isn't it? Isn't that what you do to all the young people that you fail? Abandon them. Or kill them. How is that little witch girl, by the way?" Crane questions. "Or the mute boy. Oh." Crane scoffs. "You must be so sorry about all of that now."
Dick isn't going to play into Crane's hand, it's what he wants. "Time to eat." Dick tosses him an unopened can of food "Watch him. I'm gonna get some wood." Dick states as he puts on his coat and heads out.
You watch as Crane looks at the label and rolls his eyes. As far as you're concerned, he should be thankful Dick tossed him any type of food to begin with. You wouldn't be feeding him. But you admire Dick's ability to stay calm and not feed into Crane's bullshit.
On the way to Arkham to grab him, Dick gave you an entire run down of dos and don'ts. Your research into him is just what Bruce had but it's nothing compared to actually meeting him as he tries to get inside of everyone's heads. Dick made it clear that Crane would try to say anything to convince you to side with him. He warned you about him being charismatic and a master manipulator, even though that part was in Bruce's file. And while you're listening to him, you do wonder why Dick is so good at it or at least pretending to be good at it.
"So, whose side are you really on?" Crane asks. "I find it hard to believe you're really working with Dick here."
"I guess you'll find out, won't you? Or does it matter? I'm guessing you told Jason I wasn't on his side anyway." You lean back in your chair as you cross your arms.
"Aren't you?" Crane asks. "You're here with him. Trying to use me to capture him. That does not sound like you're on his side." Crane raises his brows as if he's trying to seem innocent in his reasoning.
"I'm always on his side. You just like to manipulate people. Saving him from you is on his side. Me and Dick just have a mutual interest in the situation." You keep your voice level, trying to mimic Dick.
"Do you think he'll believe you? He hasn't taken your side yet. Like I said, he's a monster." Crane offers a delicate shrug of his shoulder and it almost sets you off. And Crane knows it because calling Jason broken already did.
"He's not a monster. You are. People who are manipulated and drugged into doing monstrous things are not monsters. But good try." You quip back.
"Drugged?" Crane questions, acting confused and you know you slipped.
How does Dick deal with him without giving anything away? But you're also good on your feet. You've always been good at thinking of lies and believable ones.
"Don't play dumb. That's how you got to him, right? Has to be. There's no other reason he'd be doing all of this. Jason gets tortured and ends up with PTSD. He dies, comes back, and works with you and now he's suddenly not having any PTSD symptoms. It's a drug, right? You said you fixed him." You shrug your shoulders as Crane gains a cornered grin.
"You are confident, aren't you? Tell me, what do you think he'll do when he sees you here? Do you think he will really just walk away from it all? I have news for you, you're not that important to him." Crane sneers back as you're starting to get under his skin.
"I know." You state, letting yourself hurt. If you don't sound hurt, he can go back and tell Jason you don't care. "But it's worth a shot anyway. And I want you to know, you are only alive right now because Dick is here. You're on my list."
"That's right. Bluejay, the hero turns killer. Sound familiar? You birds think you're above people like me but three of the four of you are killers now. Look how similar we are."
"Bruce killed a homicidal psychopathic sadist. I kill people who kill and hurt kids. You turned Jason into a killer. We are not the same."
"Are you making the rules for killing now? Oh, that's good. How's that working out for you? Do you think after this is over, Dick will let it slide? All the Titans? I think you'll be in a cell right next to mine."
"Nope. Nice try though. You can't manipulate me as much as you try." You offer him a sarcastic grin.
"How's this: your boyfriend came to me instead of you. He trusts me with his secrets more than you. He hasn't even looped you in or tried to get you on our side. He told me all about how you got together, too. He told me about your little friend Gar. The green fella. How you picked him over Jason. That's a cruel thing you did." Crane explains as you can feel your blood start to boil. "Honestly, he does deserve so much better than you just for that alone. You know, he hasn't mentioned you since. Looks like he means more to you than you do to him. Maybe he was the one using you." Crane shrugs his shoulders easily.
It shouldn't bother you because Crane is just doing what he does. He's trying to get under your skin to get you to snap or side with him. He's trying to get you to reveal your weaknesses so he can use them against you. You know. But, it's really difficult because even Crane saying it is confirmation to you. You know Jason deserves better. It was always a thought you had the entire time. But, it was the fact Jason chose you anyway and you chose him. Now, you're here though where it feels more like Crane might have a point. You aren't going to give that away though.
You lean forward towards Crane. "Look, I need you to understand this: I am coming for you. You can say whatever you want about Jason and why he came to you and whatever you wanna think. But one thing is certain, you are not going to make it out of this alive, Crane. I made a promise the day he died. I was going to come for every single person that made Jason Todd feel like he was not good enough, that he had something to prove, that made him believe he were a monster. I'm coming for you. You're alive now because of Dick, that is it. But once Dick gets what he wants, I'm going to kill you. Your days are numbered." You huff as you lean back in your seat.
"You won't do it." Crane taunts. "I matter to that boy of yours. You won't want him to leave you based on you not being able to control your killer instincts. I helped him with a cure. Do you think he'll forget that?"
"Then I'll live with the consequences. He'll understand one day and if I lose him, fine. But at least you can't fucking hurt him anymore."
"Like you have? It seems you've hurt him the most by not trusting him. I bet he's just devasted by you being here with Dick."
"Fuck you." You scoff.
"Yeah, that's right. You pretend to talk a big game but I know who you really are. You only look out for yourself. I get it. I really do. You had no choice out there on the streets and with your abusive foster father. It's your defense mechanism. Killing me isn't for Jason, it's for you. You can claim you saved him from me, a way to get to him and control him, use him the way you always have. Whenever something goes wrong, you go to him, don't you? You used him for the manor and the money. The weapons."
You suck in a breath and you think maybe Dick is just a better person than you are. He is, at the very least, more patient.
You get up and take a right hook to Crane's face as Crane yells out. You lean down, putting your hands on your knees. "You don't know who the fuck I am. Stop pretending like you do. Everything I do is not for me."
Crane spits blood onto the floor. "Really? Because this whole conversation you haven't said a word on how you feel about our boy. It's been about what you're going to do."
"Do you think I'm stupid enough to tell you how I feel about Jason? Or any details about us? You'll use it against me and him and I'm not desperate. I'm not falling for it. You don't get to know a damn thing about us from me."
"I already do." Crane grins wildly. "And I know how to get him to turn on you. I really hoped maybe you would come around to our side but...Jason will figure it out. I'll make sure of that."
You shouldn't do it and you know you shouldn't but you straighten your stance, pull your fist back, and punch him in the face again.
"You are so annoying." You groan as you take a step back just as the door opens.
Dick spots Crane hunched over in pain, spitting more blood onto the floor and you looking significantly more annoyed than when he left.
"Really?" Dick questions as he walks back in carrying firewood.
"If you didn't see that coming, that's on you, Dickolas." You sigh as you sit back down. "It was two punches, he's fine."
"I'm in pain!" Crane yells, gesturing with his cuffed hands.
"Oh, boo-hoo." You scrunch your face. "You're fine." You roll your eyes as you lean back in your chair, crossing your arms.
Dick ignores the bickering as he gets the fire going. The room starts to fall silent but with Jonathan Crane around, the room can't remain quiet for very long. Apparently, Crane wants to try and work Dick again.
"So, what's your plan here?" Crane asks.
"I told you. Wait for Red Hood and take him out."
"No, I mean, I mean in Gotham. You stepping into Daddy's shoes? Now don't get me wrong, I mean, you know, we all want to please our parents. That's why I became a doctor. You see how well that worked out, right?" Crane chuckles softly.
"You actually think we're the same?" Dick asks as he takes off his coat.
"No, no, no. What I'm saying is that we all get stuck on this hamster wheel," Crane sighs. "Trying to live up to the expectations of others. We always think that it's gonna turn out...different but the outcome is somehow always the same."
"And is that what you told Jason?" Dick asks.
"No, I'm talking about you. You come back here and you wanna bathe Gotham in blood as if that's somehow a better outcome than anything that Batman ever did. Bruce was a psychopath. He was using fear to control everyone, including his sons. I mean, he did it to Jason and he did it to you. And you and Jason, you both use that fear. You wield it like a weapon, but it hurts people, right? It hurts people that you care about. Like Hawk. It's still Bruce's game. Isn't it? It always has been." Crane pauses as the room goes silent. "Is there something on your mind?"
Dick chuckles softly. "Fear is your friend."
"What's that?"
"Bruce used to say it." Dick states. "He said, 'Fear reveals your weakness...and it gives you the chance to make it your strength."
"Hmm." Crane hums. "And him being the man that is, he...needed to make sure that you were afraid, didn't he?"
"I was out here all alone once. Bruce made me go out into the forest by myself for the first time. I had no idea what was out there." Dick starts as he tells the story about being chased by a wolf and being terrified he was going to be eaten alive, Bruce nowhere to help him.
"You were just a boy and those were the lessons that he taught you." Crane lets out a sigh as he shakes his head. "It's not your fault. But you need to make sure that this doesn't happen to someone else. That it stops with you. Now you let Gotham take care of Gotham. The water will find its level. Stop trying to prove something here."
Before Dick can respond, the alarm starts going off about a perimeter break. Your heart sinks with the alarm. Jason really just can't help himself. He has to come and prove something. Maybe, just maybe, Crane might have a point about that, actually. You hate to even think that but...Jason just showed up to prove something. He went to Crane to prove to Bruce he was good enough. Crane might be an asshole but he is making a little bit of a point, actually.
"But, the thing about that is, I've already proved myself." Dick states. "That night when I was a kid...without Bruce." Dick finishes the story, saying he was the one that killed the wolf with all the gory details. "I shouldn't have been afraid of the wolf. The wolf should have been afraid of me. Now, let's get you all fixed up. Company's coming." Dick starts undoing Crane's chains as you sit with wide eyes.
Maybe everyone is a monster. Or capable of being one. Maybe everyone has a monster inside of them but it's about what they use the monster for that actually makes them monstrous or not. Dick had no choice, do or die.
You know the wolf probably just wanted him out of its territory. Wolves have only attacked twice in North America since the early 1900s. Wolves aren't animals to typically fear. He didn't know any better but he was a monster that night to the wolf. And you know Dick isn't a monster. Not at his core. And you aren't either. And you know Jason isn't. But you've all done monstrous things out of self-preservation. Out of fear.
Maybe how people use that fear and those ideas is what makes them a monster. And if that's true, maybe most people can be saved. Maybe the monster just needs to know other ways to deal with the fear that fuels it.
You and Dick suit up once Crane is ready and you both head out to the woods. The plan is to subdue Jason, not kill him and then bring him back. That's it. You'll have him detox from the drug at the manor where it's safe. It'll be a two-on-one fight. And Dick is still a better fighter than Jason. You should be able to do this. So, you both head to the woods and you spot Jason down looking through the scope of a gun. 
Dick and you tread lightly, you staying further off to the side and behind Dick. You don't particularly want to fight Jason again if you don't have to, especially since you're sober. You know you actually might be here more to make sure they don't kill each other and just in case. Which is fine with you. But, as the two of you start to close in on Jason, Crane cuts the lights and Dick steps on a twig making Jason spin around immediately, blocking Dick's first hit. 
Dick tackles Jason, sending the two of them down a small hill. You follow the two of them just in time to see them both get back to their feet. Dick gets his enigma sticks in hand while Jason pulls out two pistols. The two of them start throwing hits using their weapons but the second Jason starts actually firing his gun, you step in.
You come in from the side, taking a kick to Jason's arm which gives Dick the opportunity to hit Jason in the knee. The hit sends Jason to the ground as he kneels, looking up to Dick as you walk beside him.
"Wow, classic moves. You even fight like Bats, huh?" Jason quips.
"Let it rest, Jay." You state and you can't see it, but he's surprised you're here fighting him. With Dick. And he's pissed. He really hoped you would take your shot at Crane even though he knew you wouldn't. You're just on Dick's side, lying to him.
"Not a chance, babe." Jason states. "Thought you wanted your shot at Crane, huh?"
"Yeah, I do but you're the one shooting the gun so." You shrug. "Not worth it." You shake your head softly as Jason grits his teeth under his helmet.
"We'll see." Jason says before quickly taking another shot at Dick, just as Dick moves out of the way.
You kick Jason just as Dick spins around and electrocutes Jason with his enigma stick. Jason falls back to the ground but only for a few seconds before he's back on his feet. He starts firing, trying to follow where Dick is going while you throw a knife, blade towards you at Jason's arm. It knocks his aim off just enough and Dick takes a shot with one of the enigma sticks. He uses it like a boomerang as it flies past Jason and hits his arm on the way back. 
The three of you continue to fight, Jason mostly trying to target Dick and only defending himself against you. But, it's two to one and Jason is growing more annoyed at the entire situation. You know when he's going to fight back and Dick is flipping around. But, he's trying until Dick gets a good hit to his arm, knocking it useless for a few minutes.
Jason is hunched over, holding his arm against his torso while you and Dick stand in front of him. You never wanted him to get hurt here. None of you should be getting hurt, especially at the hands of each other.
"You told Crane everything?" Dick questions. "Everything!?" Dick yells. "This ends here."
"What did you think was gonna happen?" Jason straightens his stance. "After what you did to me. After what you let happen!"
"This isn't on me! You made your own choices."
You take a step back and this is definitely their fight. You were always on Jason's side with what happened. But, it's been hashed out. It was talked through months ago. Whatever mind game Crane played for all of this to resurface is insane. But, you suck in a breath because while the stuff that happened in San Francisco is Dicks' fault, the stuff that's happened here isn't. Not really. It's more Bruce's fault but Bruce is nowhere to be found so you figure Dick is just an easy target. Jason, clearly, doesn't see the irony in that one.
"Like you made yours? Come on, dude, you're just like the old man. A copy. Everything you do. Everything is because of him." Jason says as he throws something at Dick and shoots it sending off a flash bang.
Dick and you get blinded which gives Jason the oppurtunity to take several swings at Dick before he has him in a choke hold, Dick on his knees. Jason holds a gun to his head and for a second, he thinks he's finally won.
"But not for long."
After all of this torturous hell, he's won. This can be the endgame. He gets Dick and he gets to snuff out the person he thinks is responsible for all of his pain. That's what this was about. But, you come back into view with the flashbang wearing off and you stand directly in front of Jason just a few feet away from him.
"Put the gun down, Jason." You grit your teeth.
"You on his side now?" Jason asks.
"Fuck." You groan. "No, but I fucking told you, you're not killing him." You seethe as you pull out a knife. "Let him fucking go, Jason."
"You know what he did!" Jason yells.
"No, I know what he did then and you squashed that shit. The shit that happened here isn't on him. You wanna blame someone then blame me." You shrug as you hold the knife steady and ready to be thrown in a split second.
The words catch Jason off guard. Crane has been telling him this whole time that you're the reason he suffered here. You're one of the reasons. If it weren't for you, it would have just been him getting to be Robin. You were good at it. Maybe Bruce saw you as a way to replace Jason. He never had any problems overcoming anything but you get in the picture and he can't even sleep at night. It all came back to you and now you're standing in front of him taking the blame.
"So, you are with him then, right?" Jason asks and Dick can feel Jason's grip starting to loosen. "You're just like him. You got a suit and now you think you're another bat. Dick's right, this ends here."
"I am always with you." You urge. "But, if you wanna blame someone for the shit here, then it should be me and Bruce, not Dick. So, let him go. You know I won't miss."
"So, try it." Jason threatens, he knows you won't. You would never throw a knife directly at him in case you do miss or he moves or you hit Dick. You wouldn't take the risk with them involved.
"Gotham PD! Drop your weapons!" You all hear from a helicopter above you.
The three of you look up to a spotlight on them. Dick takes the opportunity to grab Jason's arm, the gun firing as Dick grabs him. The gun fires directly at you but luckily, it misses as you dodge it just in time thanks to throbbing in the front of your head. The boys don't notice as they continue their fight and at this point, you're fed up with the two of them. 
"You almost shot me!" You yell and for a second, the two of them freeze, looking at you. "I've had it with you two idiots." You lunge forward and join the fight with the two of them.
The three of you end up fighting each other, you unsure of whose side you're on now. Dick pulled his arm so the gun would aim at you and Jason managed to pull the trigger in the struggle. It's ridiculous but as you all fight each other, a shot goes off from above you and it comes down right in the middle of the chaos, sending Dick off to the left and you and Jason off to the right.
Jason is the first to his feet and he sees you struggling to breathe after having the wind knocked out of you. Despite it all, that voice that tells him to side with you, is louder than usual. Something about seeing you possibly hurt sends his head into a static panic. So, grabs you and starts pulling you into the woods and away from Dick. You groan and you can see Dick still on the ground. If he's not on his feet now but Jason is, you're starting to think he was the one shot in this mess. This whole thing went to shit real fucking quick.
"Let go of me!" You yell, wiggling out of his grasp.
Jason takes a step back, putting his hands up and away from you. "Are you okay?" Jason asks as he takes his helmet off.
You spin around on your butt, eyes wide in disbelief. "Seriously!?" You get to your feet and rip off your mask. "No! I'm not okay! You two almost shot me. You killed Hank. This shit sucks! You're trying to kill Dick and you're thinking I'm turning on you, for fucks sake. What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm not everyone else!?"
It's wearing off, he can feel it off. The guilt is washing over him slowly and he hates this feeling. The withdrawal is starting to kick in and he wants to start ripping his hair out. Everything starts to hurt, slowly and steadily.
"Get out of here then." Jason turns around to walk away.
You run up behind him and grab him. He doesn't get to off so easily this time. "Get the fuck off of that drug for one fucking day and tell me Crane is on your damn side. I'm sick of this shit, Jason."
"So, stop following me." Jason turns to face you. 
"Come home." You grit your teeth and you know it's a waste of breath but you try anyway. After talking with Crane and seeing how easy it is to manipulate people, you're more afraid for him than you were before.
"I can't!" Panic seeps into his voice and he hates the way it sounds.
"Bullshit! Yes, you can!" Your voice starts to tremble as your nose scrunches.
He can't. He doesn't belong there. It was never home. They don't want him there. They don't get it. No one believes in him and they don't care about him. Crane has shown that he does. Crane has to be right about them. Jason can't afford for Crane to be wrong. He can't just go home. It doesn't work like that.
"No! Get out of here before Crane finds us! Go!"
The wording catches you off guard. He is worried what Crane will think if you're together. Crane said Jason hasn't mentioned you once and you didn't think too much of it, assuming it was because Jason just had his sight set on whatever the hell Crane wanted him to do. But, maybe Jason just left your name out of it the same way you just did. To protect each other. You need to find a way to work with that. Jason knows, deep down, something is off and you have to get through to that part of him but you don't know how. For the first time since meeting him, you don't know what will work with him.
"Jay," You plead with him. "He's not on your side. He is using you! Just like Bruce did. Please, come with me." You reach for his hand but Jason pulls it away. "Please."
He shakes his head. It's not worn off nearly enough for that to work. It has worn enough though for him to feel for you. "I'm sorry." Jason puts his free hand on your shoulder, searching your face but all he sees is the water brimming in your eyes. "I'm sorry I almost shot you. But, go. Get out of here." His voice is stern but there's a slight quiver to his words.
You shake your head softly as your heart breaks and you wonder how much more your heart can take before it finally just gives up. "Watch your back, Jay." You state softly, lacking any and all venom that should come with those words. "With Crane. I got the Titans, okay? If you have ever trusted me at all, watch your back, please."
"What do you mean you have the Titans?" Jason asks, his brows furrowing as he drops his hand.
"I got them covered, don't worry about them. Worry about Crane." You nod your head softly as you place your hand on his cheek. "Seriously, Jay, be careful." You nod once before you slide your hand from his face and turn around, making your way through the trees and back to where Dick was.
Jason watches you leave and he can't help but wonder what the hell you mean by watching himself with Crane. Of course, he knows you don't trust him. You wouldn't trust anyone like Crane, it's one of the reasons Jason never looped you in before he died. But, this feels different and he doesn't know why. Crane wouldn't tell you anything but you seem genuinely worried and maybe Jason should be questioning Crane a little more. He hasn't told Jason the entire plan yet anyway.
You get back to the clearing but Dick is nowhere to be found. You let out a sigh of relief figuring Dick must be okay if he's not here. So, you start your walk back to the cabin. When you get back, you find Dick standing in the doorway, holding his shoulder.
"You okay?" You ask from behind him.
Dick turns around quickly and for a second, he was worried they took you. You're the one who says you have a habit of being kidnapped. It was that or maybe you did side with them in the end. But, here you are looking absolutely defeated.
"Yeah, you?"
"You're bleeding." You state as you point to the blood leaking around his hand holding his shoulder.
"It's nothing. Are you okay?" Dick questions again.
"Yeah, I'm fine. You two morons missed me." You quip back as you roll your eyes. "You got shot though so that's a problem."
"It's fine." Dick states and suddenly you know where Jason gets it from. They aren't even blood-related and it's always 'it's fine' and 'I'm fine'. "Crane is gone so we need to get back."
"Good luck explaining that to Babs." You suck in a breath, pushing past Dick to grab your things from the cabin. "Sorry." You offer a yikes look based on the scowl you're receiving from Dick.
"Come on, let's go." Dick nods his head towards the door before the two of you head back to the car to get back to the manor.
As you head back to the manor, you're stuck hoping against everything in you that tonight was enough for Jason. It has to be enough to convince him. It has to.
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series masterlist | masterlist | tag list
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A/n: There's more Jason in the next chapter and in the rest of the chapters lol I am going into season 4. I have a plan lol We also do circle back to the whole fight between him and the reader later!!
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Tag list: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss  // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmess // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 // @stainedstardom // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao // @somehow-lovable-trash  // @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover //  @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @ginger24880 // @septixtrash // @kplatzman // @urmomsgayforme5
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onlyhereforghosttrick · 25 days ago
Text
A painting- or at least, a photo of one.
There's a letter attached.
Dear Makoto,
How are you?
I'm sorry you had to miss out this year.
We got a Smeargle to take a little sketch of us to send to you instead, hope this makes you feel better.
He said that it'd be better if we were all fully in frame next time, but I don't know what he meant by that... We're all there, aren't we? Regardless, though.
I do hope Aigiel's getting better... I know you haven't gotten an update in a while, but I'm sure she's fine- the girl's taken a fair few falls, and gotten up anyways.
For new additions to the group this year, though...
Ephim finally convinced Minato to tag along. (I don't know what they're doing in the photo either, but I think some part of him was enjoying it too.)
A new pair- Safira and Higashi, bottom left of it. I gave talking to them a try, and they seemed familiar somehow nice. Apparently they helped stop the natural disasters of the air continent.
There's also Feysara, the Eevee girl- that's her talking to Auren on the right. She's polite, if a bit quiet at times. I have a feeling you'll like her.
Well, hope you're doing alright, partner.
Happy New Year. I'm glad we made it this far.
With love,
Minami
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Well. Happy New Year!
This post has been set to go up at sometime in the afternoon/evening of the 31st, meaning this is some of this year's last hours.
So, I'd like to thank you while I still have time.
Thank you all for everything you've done for me, for being so friendly, for caring as much as you have- I don't think I'd be here without all of you.
Now, for some more fun stuff- I don't have refs or anything but I can at least give a lowdown on the picture.
Chronoconvergence is my current idea for a collective name for my PMD stuff, likely to be replaced once I think of something better, but it stands for now. ...I am still too lazy to update tags though.
As said in the letter, Ephim the Lucario is doing ...whatever that is with Minato (Bulbasaur) on the left, with Safira (Skitty) and Higashi (Wooper) talking with Minami (Grovyle, yes, The Grovyle PMD2) right below.
Taking center stage are Everus (Fraxure) and Spark (Ninetales), my Gates team, with Ephris (Mew) hovering close by alongside Serri (Celebi, again, yes, The Celebi PMD2). also nearby is Feysara standing far off to the right
Lastly, is one that might require a bit of explanation- Auren (Dusknoir, you know the drill) talking with... Feysara, the Eevee mentioned in the letter. Just one small problem. Feysara is someone else's name.
Well, Feys (as I've effectively renamed her) is the protagonist of the fic I've been trying to write for a while now called An Empty Reflection which is also meant to serve as the opening act to a grander story called New Future's Dawn. Her story is yet to be told, but I hope to do so soon!
I want to promise when my next big thing or whatever will be but really, I'm probably gonna end up liveblogging Vivid/Stasis Chapter 5 for a bit so I might be occupied with that. As this goes up, I'm probably just finishing up what is effectively meant to be me re-familiarizing myself with the game as a whole.
But just know that writing is not abandoned, and art is not abandoned, both just planned to be pushed to the side as I write this. I'm probably at least thinking of writing by the time you're reading this, so not all hope is lost.
And as a last note... This combination of characters being alive and such is not canon, even if we all (or at least I) wished otherwise. Well, Happy New Year. It's been a hell of a ride so far and I can only hope it gets better from here.
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madschiavelique · 1 year ago
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so sorry if ur busy w requests and no rush at all but.. i am experiencing a drought of miguel and trans masc reader smut.., maybe something w doggy style and being so overstimulated that he has to hold you up in a chokehold 🫣 no pressure and your service is greatly appreciated
okidoki so I have never written about a trans character/reader before, and I really REALLY hope I did a proper thing here. (I tried my best and made a bit of research on how to write this because i would feel so bad if i ever offended anybody in the trans community, so please if there’s anything in this that you feel is offensive or misrepresenting, PLEASE tell me so that i can correct the mistake(s) in question)
summary : miguel fucking transmasc!reader to overstimulation
content warnings : SMUT (18+) minors dni, transmasc!reader x miguel, pnv sex, no use of Y/N, mentions of oral sex (reader receiving) here are the words i will be using for certain parts of the reader’s body (i considered that perhaps reader had had top surgery but not bottom surgery and takes T - testosterone) : for the top : chest, pects | for his bottom : clit, front hole word count : 587
tag list : @fandom-ash
status of my requests according to the date of this post : CLOSED (asks are open though)
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Miguel knew that it hadn't always been easy for you to appreciate your body, and he didn't care what it looked like, because no matter what it looked like, he'd worship it, especially during sex.
You felt like one of those cis teenagers between junior high and high school who was horny all the time, and Miguel was more than happy to satisfy all your little needs. He'd been pleasuring you with your desires for almost two hours now, while overstimulating you with his, and you were getting increasingly sensitive.
Your elbows were pressed against the sheets, your hips raised as Miguel was pounding into your front hole. Your back was arched and his dick was hitting you in the spot that made your whole body tingle with pleasure.
"Look at you," he grunted as he lowered his torso to your back and brought his lips to your ear, the approach eliciting a long, pleading moan as he pressed even deeper into you. "I have such a beautiful boyfriend."
It was as if your whole body was tingling uncontrollably with every thrust of Miguel's inside you, as if your skin was a kind of cloud in which little flashes of lightning were all fighting together to crack first.
He rubbed your clit softly, he had noticed how it had swollen since you started taking T. The sounds your changing voice made were pure heaven. He was so eager for it to get bigger and to be able to give you proper blow-jobs, to be able to wrap his whole tongue around it while your hand was tangled in his hair.
Oh and how he loved kissing your chest, his fingers softly tracing your pects as he licked and kissed your skin. The way he felt your heart beating under your skin when he kissed you there made his cock twitch.
The changes in your body made your voice deeper, and he loved the sounds you made. His name, pronounced by your lips, changed colour in his mind, and all he wanted to do was make you repeat it over and over again to hear you speak.
But you had noticed in particular how much more powerful your orgasms had become, the sensations seeming to increase tenfold. In fact, you could already feel the next one coming, the heat filling your body and covering it in a layer of warmth.
"Miguel," you breathed with difficulty, "I'm gonna..." but you couldn't finish your sentence, all the sensations hitting you altogether making it impossible for you to think straight.
"Yes, say my name baby," he said, kissing your shoulders and back, giving you this contrasting caress of all the feelings that were mixing inside you.
"Miguel," you murmured breathlessly.
His thrusts grew even faster and more intense.
"Miguel..." you moaned as the knot in your stomach tightened.
The friction Miguel was applying to your clit accelerated as Miguel put his hand on your neck.
"Scream my name, querido," Miguel growled close to your ear as he pressed lightly on the sides of your neck.
The knot tightened, and in an instant, everything that was happening and stirring inside your body went white.
"Miguel!"
The orgasm came, and you felt as if you were being electrified, your voice going off the rails as your whole body vibrated. Miguel kissed your cheek as he slowed his pace inside you, caressing your neck gently as you shuddered, the sensations so powerful that you were overcome with emotion.
"You did so good, mi sol."
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tojiscrack · 15 days ago
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WIFEYYYYY IMY
i legit have been so proud of myself lately bc i havent been talking to shitbag almost at all. i even waited in my car until he walked up to school bc we both pulled into the lot at the same time and i didnt want him to talk to me!
'i HAD to implement dadjo in the series bc as much as his relationship with the characters in canon was more like a fun older brother looking out for his students, he’s so father coded, specifically during the exchange event in s1 of jjk'
I AM SO HAPPY FOR THIS!!! I LOVE DADJO HCS
'HELP HE’S JUST A GUY WITH A CRUSH 😭'
so was shit bag 💔
but i have decided that if y/n and kamo get tgth and then y/n realizes her true feelings for megumi and breaks up w kamo, i will forgive you. barely.
'girl any more of the y/n criticism from you and i’m gonna start to think you hate our poor mc 🫵🏽😟🫷🏽'
listen. i dont haaaaaate her... yet.
she just gives me SO MUCH SECOND HAND EMBARASSMENT. LIKE HOLY MOLY THIS IS BAD.
'now with that threat, i humbly remind you of the ‘angst’ tag 🌝 no comment on anything after that'
"MERCUPINE IS CANON!" i thrash against my strait jacket as they throw me into the room with the padded walls.
'but unfortunately, at some point from here and up until june, there are gonna be super slow updates :( i’ll address that another time tho! <3'
AWWW DAMNNNN. i hope everything is okay pookie bear 🙏
yk i havent been this in love with a fic since like 2022 when i found a 500k word bakugo fanfic that was literally written like a novel. AND URS IS EXACTLY LIKE IT BRO.
like writer to writer- your exposition is INSANE. being able to develop their friendship when they're only like 5 or so is so cool to me because the initial friendship development is something i struggle with lowk....
BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PLS DONT DIE
'i am (unfortunately) a very picky eater. and i hate peanut butter ☹️'
STAY WITH ME. STAY WITH ME.
this is why we use unsweetened peanut butter protein powder. because, you can make it whatever texture u want and the peanut taste is toned down. and it adds protein to ur meal so u can be buff. (i am a gym bro)
'ik you mention that you guys have mutual friends and are in several gc’s tgth, so maybe blocking him is just not possible here, but giving him clipped responses when he texted and declining face-times is very much possible, i believe'
YEAHHH THATS WHAT IVE BEEN DOING THE PAST FEW DAYS LOL
he doesn't ft me tho which is great. he just sends me tiktoks that i respond to 23 hrs later so he doesn't bitch ab me losing our streak LMAO
'but make sure they’re very simple responses, nothing he can use as an opportunity to build on.'
yeah thats my move rn
'hmmm, this tells me a lot about him already 💀 i’m sorry kay, i do NOT like this imposter who-entered-earth-without-a-visa 😐'
YEAH BRO IDK HOW I EVEN LIKED HIM
like the past few days, the rose tined glasses have been lifted. esp bc one of our mutual friends gave him a kanye west american flag and he keeps posing with it everywhere.
liking kanye is embarassing enough idk why he's doing this too.
it reminds me of the time he trapped me in his car and made me listen to his explanation on why kanye west wasn't a bad guy.
'HAHAHA 😭 i’m dead serious. i don’t like that guy. i even feel like ‘shitbag’ as a name for him is a compliment, if anything.'
lowk ur so right
'do not compare our respectful-nonchalant-dreadhead-kamo to that bin-juice-of-a-human-being-SHITBAG. EVER 🤢'
I MEANT THE WAY WE REACT TO THEM LMAOAOAOAOAO
'did i forget to mention that i DETEST shitbag with my whole entire being?'
no i dont think u mentioned it 🤔🤔🤔
'CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT 🥳 WE LOVE TO SEE IT'
YES MAAAAM
'ok good, you’re not longer texting that unique-breed-of-human-kind, got my first point out of the way real quick. don’t ever text him unless he texts you'
YEPPP
'secondly, niceguy’s available. probably the only thing i agree with shitbag with. you should get with niceguy :)'
okay yeah but like even if im not that close friends w his ex-gf, we're still friends...
and our grade literally has 80 ppl in it so i would rather not do her dirty like that bc she WILL know
and we used to be rlly good friends in middle school
i snap him tho bc we are in fact still friends even if he dated my friend- i mean we have literally known each other for 10 yrs LMAO
'marry fictional men and die in love with them'
i think this is a very good plan. i am currently writing iwaizumi fanfiction bc iwaizumi haijime (27) athletic trainer is all i need rn!
lowk this fic was inspired by liar liar in the sense that i took inspo from how u have it start when they're younger / preshow. i had it start in their first yr so i can develop their friendship before they go straight into love. (i'm ur biggest fan btw)
'i’m not aware of it. even when i looked it up, i was a little confused haha.'
oh my god it's literally like the dumbest cringest game ever but i love it so much. it's an otome dating sim game and it's so nostalgic to me bc i used to play it when i was like 13.
but it's fucked up my sleep schedule bc part of the game is that u have to play the chatrooms before the next one unlocks or the previous one will lock and u have to pay (in game cash) to play it afterwards.
so i have a schedule.
i stay up til 1:52 to play the 1:48 chatroom and then i sleep, wake up at 6:50 for school, play the 3ish AM chatroom before the 8AM chatroom unlocks, and then go to school, play the 8AM chatroom, and continue playing the chatrooms throughout the day.
now let me show u the cringey ass messages these characters send and the cringey ass messages im forced to send (i have to pick through a few options).
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LIKE THIS IS SO CRINGE.... BUT I AM FREE.
'but i am super glad you are starting to find enjoyable things to look back on that take you away from the negative doom-cloud that is shitbag! 😙 idek you irl but that genuinely makes me so happy for youuuu <3'
AWWWWWW ILYSM
'i’m living vicariously through you, honestly 😭'
AWWWWW
'THEY CAN STILL BE LONG, I LOVE HEARING ABOUT UR DAY AND STUFF AND GETTING TO KNOW YOU, but i’m glad shitbag will no longer be the centre of our conversations'
okay so lets kiss pls and ty
also have u heard the epic the musical concept album at all? like that one tiktok audio that's like 'i would fall in love with you over and over again'.
bc it's taken over my fyp w emo ass edits and my friends are SICK OF ME
too many satosugu edits w this audio and i'm gonna kms pls and ty
OKAYYYY THAT IS IT FOR TODAY'S UPDATE! I HOPE UR DAY IS AMAZING POOKIE BEAR <3
HELLO AGAIN!! <333
‘i legit have been so proud of myself lately bc i havent been talking to shitbag almost at all’ — I’M SO PROUD OF YOU TOO WHATTT 😭😫 i’m now at ease, we haven’t lost another one of our gorgeous girlies to the m*le species, thank the lord 😤
‘(…) and i didnt want him to talk to me!’ — YEEEESSSS, we’ve made it to that point! 🥳 today is a good day 😌
‘I LOVE DADJO HCS’ — me too 😋 it’s a shame gege didn’t implement this more in canon-jjk, but it is what it is, ig
‘so was shit bag 💔’ — NUH UH 🤨 shitbag is not just a guy with a crush he’s not even a guy at all, that’s an undiscovered breed right there , he’s someone who treats both the girls he likes AND dislikes like dog shit, and i’m not having it 😐
‘if y/n and kamo get tgth and then y/n realises her true feelings for megumi and breaks up w kamo, i will forgive you. barely’ — 🫣 we shall see… 👀
‘listen. i dont haaaaaate her... yet’ — free my poor mc from the shackles of ur scepticism 🤛🏽😔🤜🏽
‘she just gives me SO MUCH SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT’ — you think SHE gives you second hand embarrassment? 😧 girlypops, try reading my levi fic (don’t, actually, i’m just using this as an example haha) , y/n over there is unhinged to the point where second hand embarrassment is literally her middle name 😭
‘"MERCUPINE IS CANON!" i thrash against my strait jacket as they throw me into the room with the padded walls’ — LMAOOOO 😭 DKMMM 💀 technically they are canon (the story is centred around them), and even as the author who could potentially go for the bittersweet type of ending where they don’t end up together, i can easily say (with confidence) that they have a shit ton more chemistry than mermaid and kamotionless 😊
but we'll see how everything goes!
‘AWWW DAMNNNN. i hope everything is okay pookie bear 🙏' — well... i revealed why i had concerns about my (already ass) updating schedule now 👀 ik this ask was sent in a few days before my announcement last night, so ofc you couldn't have known when you sent this in. but now you do! and i appreciate ur support SOOO much. i swear, you have no idea <3
i also responded quite late to this ask 'cause it's quite long, and i like to address every single thing in longer asks so im not purposely missing anything out and then come across as dry haha 🥴
'yk i havent been this in love with a fic since like 2022 when i found a 500k word bakugo fanfic that was literally written like a novel. AND URS IS EXACTLY LIKE IT BRO' — 🥹🥹🥹
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ik a lot of ppl complain about long fics, but i can’t help but love them (especially when i’m in the comfort of my own room just reading as i go with all the lights off, no school the next day, no alarm set, etc).
and this… coming my story to a novel? 😩
i’m so unbelievably flattered rn, like i want to grab you through the screen and i can’t ☹️
‘like writer to writer- your exposition is INSANE. being able to develop their friendship when they're only like 5 or so is so cool to me because the initial friendship development is something i struggle with lowk...’ — UGH, STOP IT, MY HEART CAN’T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS 😫🩵🩵🩵
MY BPM IS HIGHER THAN NORMAL RN AND I HAVEN’T EVEN EXERCISED TODAY ❤️‍🔥
wishing i was shakespeare rn so i can give you the most poetic response that isn’t just ‘i’m so flattered’, ‘stoppp’, ‘ilysm moreee’, etc. the problem is that i’m always at a loss for words ‘cause of the range of compliments you offer 😭💕
‘STAY WITH ME. STAY WITH ME’ — 🙁 … ☹️ … 🌬️🏃🏽‍♀️‍➡️…🚪
‘this is why we use unsweetened peanut butter protein powder. because, you can make it whatever texture u want and the peanut taste is toned down. and it adds protein to ur meal so u can be buff’ — maybe i’ll try it 😳 i’ve yet to find a protein powder brand that doesn’t make me shit myself + give me acne, but we’ll see! i don’t have really high hopes tho (i’m a picky eater 😔)
‘like the past few days, the rose tined glasses have been lifted’ — the more i read this ask, the more i smile 😋
‘it reminds me of the time he trapped me in his car and made me listen to his explanation on why kanye west wasn't a bad guy’ — UMM?? THAT’S ASSAULT?? HELLO? 😭
ARE YOU OK? NEED A LAWYER? I’M STUDYING LAW, I GOT YOU 😟
‘I MEANT THE WAY WE REACT TO THEM LMAOAOAOAOAO’ — THANK GOD 😔
‘and our grade literally has 80 ppl in it so i would rather not do her dirty like that bc she WILL know. and we used to be rily good friends in middle school’ — mmm, yeah, so maybe not niceguy either. back to the fictional men plan then! (until someone new comes along and meets our high standards for you!) 😋
‘i think this is a very good plan. i am currently writing iwaizumi fanfiction bc iwaizumi haijime (27) athletic trainer is all i need rn!’ — WAIT WAIT WAIT, iwaizumi hajime from haikyuu? LMAO WAIT, I THOUGHT YOU’D BE INTO KAGEYAMA OR SMTH? 😭
HAHAHA I’M DYING, HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS COMING?
‘lowk this fic was inspired by liar liar in the sense that i took inspo from how u have it start when they're younger / preshow. i had it start in their first yr so i can develop their friendship before they go straight into love’ — 😳
a lot of my ao3 readers would tell me that i inspired them to write fics and stuff, but they never tell me what it is about my story that inspired them, yk? so as nice as it is to hear such a thing from them, i never know what exactly about LL got them writing 🙁
BUT THIS? 🥹
i’m so flattered honoured, genuinely. maybe one day, when i can stop scaring myself about reading other people’s works (it’s a genuine irrational fear of mine), i can pick up one of yours and give you the queen!treatment you give me every other day 🥹🩵
‘im ur biggest fan btw)’ — excuse me, DON’T call urself that. we’re friends 👊🏽🤨 (i’m spudding you btw)
‘oh my god it's literally like the dumbest cringest game ever but i love it so much’ — me talking about episode 2015 😀
‘but it's fucked up my sleep schedule bc part of the game is that u have to play the chatrooms before the next one unlocks or the previous one will lock and u have to pay (in game cash) to play it afterwards. so i have a schedule. i stay up til 1:52 to play the 1:48 chatroom and then i sleep, wake up at 6:50 for school, play the 3ish AM chatroom before the 8AM chatroom unlocks, and then go to school, play the 8AM chatroom, and continue playing the chatrooms throughout the day’ — HAHAHAHHAHAA 😭 IDK WHY THIS MADE ME LAUGH LMAOOO, you literally ended up making a whole plan around ur sleeping schedule for this game? 😭 DAMN, how good must it be???
I’M CRYINGGGG THE MESSAGES 😭😭😭
WHEN YOU SAID IT WAS CRINGE, I DIDN’T THINK IT WAS ‘i’d like to tell kay how i feel and make her mine but—’ , ‘you can have me right now!’ TYPE OF CRINGE? HELLO? 😭
I’M CRYINGGGG STOPPP
AND THIS YOOSUNG GUY COMING IN TO PUT IN HIS 2 CENTS IS KILLING MEEEEE 😭
‘omg’ after the zen guy literally declared that you’re his omega LMFAOOO
yoosung’s just a chill guy 😀
‘don’t let the beast inside of me awaken’ — HUH???? 😭
KAY I’M ACTIALLY DYING MY STOMACH HURTS SO BAD WTH IS THIS 😭😭😭
THAT’S SUCH A MALAKAI THING OF HIM TO SAY, wait—
👀
your type is literally malakai?
LMFAOOOO KAY X MALAKAI NO WAYYYY 😭😭😭
‘no one dare to touch her 🐺’ — BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAGAHAYAGAHSHSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
PLS HOW DOES Y/N GIVE YOU SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT WHEN ZEN IS RIGHT THERE
kay pls tell me you’re joking. there’s absolutely no way 😭 and you told me all this in CONFIDENCE 💀
‘LIKE THIS IS SO CRINGE.... BUT I AM FREE’ — KAY 😭
self aware queen? 🥴💜
‘also have u heard the epic the musical concept album at all? like that one tiktok audio that's like 'i would fall in love with you over and over again.’ bc it's taken over my typ w emo ass edits and my friends are SICK OF ME’ — HAHAHAHA, no i actually haven’t 😭 so i looked it up just now and i’ve genuinely never heard of it in my life, ever’
‘too many satosugu edits w this audio and i'm gonna kms pls and ty’ — wait that makes sense as to why i haven’t seen it 💀
i don’t ship satosugu 👀 i can hear the shippers coming to bury me alive so my tiktok fyp is obviously gonna be catered towards videos i’ll end up liking and saving, and since i don’t actively search for satosugu edits and like and save them, my fyp is most definitely completely different to yours
hence why i’ve never heard of that audio 😭
but i should be glad! even tho i don’t ship them, i see tragedy in their friendship every time i see scenes of them together, so maybe it’s a good thing i hadn’t seen or heard of the audio before this ☹️
stop now i’m imagining you and zen with this audio HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH 😭
he’d fall in love with you over and over again… and you’d have to make sure the beast inside him doesn’t awaken over and over again 💀
ok i’ll stop 😭
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fictionfordays · 1 year ago
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Just One More
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(21+) Sanzu Haruchiyo x GN!Reader
CW: kissing, lil bit of banter/playfulness, reader is called "darling" and "cute" but no descriptive words are used, heavy kissing at the end yk bc Sanzu blah, VERY brief mention of cigs at the end but no smoking
WC: ~500
A/N: Pinkie has taken over my life and I... this is so playful and self-indulgent... 'M not even sorry, d00d bros - (Also, I reblogged the post I found this gif, and I'll also link it here :D )
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Back to Main Masterlist | Tokyo Revengers Masterlist
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"Another? You're such a greedy little thing, aren't ya?"
His fingers linger on your waist as he dips his head to place a chaste kiss to your lips.
"Feel loved yet, darlin'?"
You smirk at him playfully, catching your bottom lip between your teeth. Your hands slide up his arms to rest on his shoulders.
"Hm... not yet, baby~ maybe one more will do the trick?" Your smile grows wider as he feigns shock at your response, your soft giggles resonating in the room.
“You’re so lucky you’re cute…” He leans down to softly press his lips to yours again for a fleeting moment. “There…” his voice is quiet, warm breath fanning over your face, “how ‘bout that?” His lips turn up in a gentle smile, the diamond scars flexing with the movement. His aquamarine eyes tracing your facial features, committing them to memory as his nose softly brushes against yours. His fingers caress the sides of your waist gingerly.
Your smile brightens, that mischievous twinkle in your eyes. You hum quietly in response, eyes tracking his every movement. “Maybe… one more?”
He chuckles quietly, “you really are greedy,  ya know?” He leans down again, warm lips pressing against yours in a feather-light touch. You react quickly this time, your hands playfully squishing his cheeks together as you melt into his embrace. He sighs against your lips, cheeks growing hot from the bright blush dusting his pale skin. A grin breaks across your face when you finally pull away, admiring the rarity of his flustered expression.
“Y-you really know what you want, huh?” He teases affectionately, but you can hear the slight tremble in his voice.
“Mm~ I just wanted a longer kiss, is all…” you look away shyly, your own sheepish expression spreading across your face.
“Coulda just said so, darlin’~” he leans down again, this time kissing you more passionately. He breathes in your scent deeply, fingers twitching as he grips the fabric of your shirt firmly. Your fingers make their way to his silky pink hair, combing through the strands tenderly. The tip of his tongue flicks your upper lip teasingly before he nibbles on your bottom lip. One of his hands slowly comes up to rest on the side of your neck and jaw, thumb caressing the gentle slope of your cheek as he deepens the kiss.
He pulls away slowly, planting one or two more lingering kisses against your plush lips. His aquamarine hues search yours affectionately before he kisses your forehead.
“I-I’ll… expect more when you get back later, ok?” you press a quick kiss to his chin with a small grin.
“Think I won’t be kissin’ my darlin’ again later, huh?” he winks playfully, ruffling the top of your hair. He turns to leave, grabbing his suit jacket and pack of cigarettes. He continues mumbling to himself, “of course, ‘m gonna kiss you later… who do you think I am?” He rolls his eyes, turning to leave one last lingering kiss on your lips before walking out of the front door to your shared apartment.
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Tags: @enchantedforest-network @fuyuswifey @nanamis-wifey-reye @sin-and-punishment @h8ani @goddessofwaifus @tokyorevengersrin
Wanna be tagged? Join the Taglist!
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I do not own these characters. All rights to the original creators. All content—created rights are reserved to Wallabypirate©2023.
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blueskittlesart · 2 years ago
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Hello! Do you have any theories/thoughts about the mystery lady in the totk trailer? I am so so normal about her (and your painting of her made me EVEN MORE normal) and I keep looking up things about her but she doesn’t have a tag so I have to go into the HYLIA tag even though I really don’t think she is Hylia. Also I’ve been reading your loz doc and your takes are totally not occupying my brain at the moment. Sorry, all of that to say that if you have thoughts about the mystery lady I would love to hear them
YES. i am almost completely convinced that she's NOT hylia and is in fact the earlier zelda mentioned in botw. visually analyzing her character, we see a lot more similarities to other ZELDA designs than depictions of hylia (and yes i know there's deliberate overlap, but they do each have distinguishing features which i will get into.)
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here's my breakdown of specific visual elements associated with hylia vs zelda. hylia portrayals will almost always have a double-layered dress with that specific overskirt drape, long, robelike flowy sleeves, and a deep U neckline. zeldas (when in formal dress) will almost always have that boxy neckline, a circlet-like crown with a gemstone inlaid in the middle, a belt with a large circular buckle/brooch in the middle, and a detached hanging drape over the middle of their skirt. several of the zeldas also have noticeable large earrings, and wind waker zelda specifically has little wing-like accessories on either side of her head.
comparing the shot of the mystery girl from the latest trailer, she seems to have a lot more in common visually speaking with our zeldas than our hylias.
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from a purely character design standpoint, visually this character evokes "zelda" much more than "hylia." she also bears distinct similarities to the image we are shown of the long-dead princess in the botw cutscene:
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notably, the long wavy blonde hair, darker skintone, and sleeveless white dress (again, assuming her dress is the same one we see OUR zelda wearing.)
this is consistent with other clues we've been given about the plot so far--we've seen link clearly wearing an outfit meant to evoke the past hero mentioned in that cutscene, down to the weird stuff going on with his arm:
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so if we know that our link is gonna be taking on some of the appearance of the long-dead hero, i don't think it's too much of a logical leap to assume that the girl who's matching outfits with our zelda is the long-dead princess.
as for WHY she's shown and what her narrative significance is, well. i have theories. i think both she and her respective hero are gonna play a pretty big role in totk. more info here & here if you're interested. but tldr that's why i think she's a zelda and not hylia lol
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thebestbobaflavour · 2 months ago
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as the shrike to your sharp
and glorious thorn
dragon age drabble | DATV SPOILERS!!!
Edited the first draft for a part of the Veilguard epilogue scene in my Andruil AU.
Characters: Inquisitor Lavellan (Andruil), Morrigan/Mythal, Dorian Pavus, Solas
Pairings: Inquisitor x Solas (Solavellan/Fendruil), vaguely implied Ghilandruil and mention of Solas and Mythal
Tags: Angst, comfort idk I don't publish fics.
Disclaimer: English is not my first language and I have adhd so it might be that it makes no sense. I am sorry
This is just a silly drabble, but I am practising publishing my texts since its so unnecessarily hard for me + I hope this gives me courage to write the whole thing.
I am not gonna provide too much context here to appear dark and mysterious, but it's about Andruil's memories being restored by Morrigan so that Mythal and Andruil can confront Solas together.
The blinding light died from Inquisitor Lavellan's eyes, and for a few seconds there was only haze, like she was frozen in a million memories at once. Finally she winced, blinking and trembling with the excess of emotions. Confusion. Fury. Love. Despair. It was familiar to Morrigan. She knew the pain of reliving it all at once, even if it hadn't been as personal to her, or as raw. They clutched the small carving in white-knuckled hands, chest heaving in terror.
“Morrigan”, they whispered. “It hurts. Is it supposed to hurt?”
“Yes”, she replied softly. “I am so sorry.”
The Inquisitor felt her tongue growing thick and dry as she bent over in silent agony and drew panicked breaths. The feeling of sinking into the depths of morals, the guilt from every evil thought and act, the fierce, defiant love; bitter betrayal. It crushed her.
Remorse filled her lungs to the point where air didn't fit in. It twisted her stomach; she gagged, but nothing came out – only acid burned in her throat. After a few ragged gasps cried into the ground, her fingertips burying into the blighted gravel, she finally sobbed, her words an uncoherent litany:
“You were right. About them... about Ghilan'nain -- and everything -- I did it; as much as he. It's my fault. All of them… even Mythal. I didn't know. I didn't know Solas would do it. Not like that.”
Morrigan’s eyes mirrored her agony. For a moment, she hesitated before pulling the elf into a hug, pressing a hasty kiss over her temple. She melted into it, yearning for the anchoring comfort of her friend. But there was no safety, no escape for the living sin. It tormented her.
“Why? Why was I so terribly blind? Why didn't he tell me?”
“He thought he did the right thing. And so did you... so did Mythal.”
Indeed, Morrigan’s smoky scent felt more familiar than before, it lived in her memories, next to the consuming regret. Feathers. Scales. Ice.
“For all the good it did. I brought this upon the world. We did. I let him. And then he dragged me along while we pretended to be its saviours. The Inquisition… Varric… the mark-- It was all because of what we did. Over and over again. So many unnecessary deaths."
“The world may be broken, many of us are gone, but we are still here. ‘Tis all we have. You cannot rewrite those things, no matter how much you may want to..”
“What do I do now?” they asked, voice shattering. “How can I deserve to decide the fate of the world again? I have wrought doom upon us since the beginning. I let him burn down our empire."
"He loves you. This might just be the moment it changes everything."
“Does he? Our love for him was never enough, why would it be now? And if I could change his heart, what right do I have that is above his?”
Morrigan sighed, pulling away from the hug and cupping Lavellan’s teary cheeks. She smiled upon her friend, her beautiful, broken friend, who had to pull off the impossible yet again. Mythal’s lost daughter who never was.
“We have to try. We owe it to the people that are here now. The lives we can save. Remember, what you feel now, ‘tis who you were when you lost everything. That's Andruil. Beautiful, fierce huntress who shouldered a weight she never should have had to bear.”
Morrigan helped the elf up to their feet gently, with gentleness that mocked the horrific apocalypse all around them. Then, a set of faint footsteps echoed from the shadows, and a soft voice added:
“Now take those ten years of ours and add them to it. Inquisitor Lavellan, who did the very same. Because that's who you are, too. Your soul is still the same. And your heart is still the same, whatever name you bear.”
The mage stood in front of his friend, now in turn pressing soothing palms upon her cheekbones. Suddenly the Inquisitor looked even smaller, more weary. Her eyes met Dorian’s, and the mage flinched at their intensity. In a matter of moments, the familiar weight of immeasurable regret tinted her expression. The same desperation that fuelled Solas’ neverending crusade now darkened Andruil’s gaze, undirected, consuming.
It was a perilous force, but he was not afraid. Later he’d come to realise that he got to grasp a glimpse of that passion to forgive and heal someone that others deemed too far gone; a fragment of the devotion Lavellan harboured for the Dread Wolf.
“Dorian-” she whispered, tears flooding her eyes as soon as he pulled her into a hug. “What are you doing here?”
“Finding out what you are up to. I knew you were even more than you led on but, another elven god? I would never have believed that not every single one was an insufferable know-it-all or a tyrant.”
“I am worse”, she sniffled, sobbing into his shoulder like a little child. “You should not have come here. I don't want you to remember me like a monster.”
“Whatever are you going on about?”
As his hand gently cradled the back of her head, her shivering shoulders dropped.
“I… I have done horrible things, Dorian. Maybe I am not a tyrant, but I have so much blood on my hands.”
“I am sorry, love, but I don't give a single damn about that. Do you think I am pure like a dove? Tevinter Magisters who have lived for mere decades? Or even that puppy-eyed Grey Warden? No one who lives is not without sin; I can never even begin to fathom the burdens you bear, but whatever it is, it won't change a thing between us."
Lavellan could not reply, for the sobs stole the words from her mouth. The Magister held her for a long while, trying his best to remain calm and composed, but as Morrigan gestured to him and he lifted a defiant hand to stop her from interrupting, his voice dipped. He gently took her hands to his, prying them off his robes, and looked at her with softness only bestowed upon the heartbroken.
“Now, dear. I understand that you are being asked the impossible, again. With all my heart I wish it was not the case. I may not know about your pain, but what I do know is what a man in love looks like. And I finally have an explanation as to why Solas looked like someone who had been yearning for you for centuries."
Lavellan let out a pained laugh. "You're a hopeless romantic, did you know that?"
"Don't try to deny it. That bastard would throw a backflip into the Waking Sea if you asked him to. Perhaps you should do that? For me?" he tried so hard to smile bravely, but as he wiped a tear off her face, his own started falling.
"At any rate, please make him end this nonsense. Then perhaps he can finally start to try to be deserving of all of this world-saving love. If he doesn't, he'll hear from me. Nothing will save him then."
“Dorian…”
“I know. I'll miss you too."
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