#sorry had a weak moment im normal again (lying)

[ruohosta-nauttija]

Truly i now understand the term comfort streamer

[some-of-us-watch-the-sunset-too]

Sad Steve stuff idk what to call this

A/N: im feeling sad and having a crisis over the other thing i wanna write so have sad Steve with a now dead s/o. also i can’t remember if i saw someone do something similar or if i imagined that so if yk of anyone who did smth similar tell me please!

TW: suicide, death, idk Y/N gets shot ok

Tags: angst, this is really depressing i’m sad rn ok?

Steve was driving home from the DX when he looked over at the alley where Y/N normally hung out with their friends from the Shepard gang. The usually baron area was surrounded by cop cars and an ambulance. “Oh for fuck sake Y/N did you kill someone?” he muttered under his breath before pulling in at the nearest payphone. The greaser dialled his S/O’s number. it rang out. He rang the rest of the gang and received the same answer from each of them; “Y/N said they were spending the day with their other friends. Some of the Shepard guys.” He sighed. Suddenly, the thought hit him. “Shit!”

Steve bolted back to the alleyway, not bothering to grab his car. He spotted Y/N lying on the ground and sped up. Just as he was climbing over the police tape someone stopped him. “Sorry kid, you can’t go past this line. that’s the law.” A policeman held him back by the shoulder. “That’s my S/O in there! please, i can’t stay here. please..” Steve begged, his voice getting more unsteady with each word. The officer let go of his shoulder and Steve ran over to Y/N. He skidded on his knees as he got close. Tears flowed down his face as he saw the bullet wound on his love’s side. Y/N opened their eye. “Hey Stevie.” They managed a weak smile. “Y/N..darlin’ i told you to stop gettin’ into so many fights all the time.” Steve almost sobbed. He held their hand tight and brushed a stray hair off their forehead. A paramedic came up to them. “Is there any family we can call?” Steve gave Darry’s name without hesitation.

“Stevie?” Y/N whispered. “Yeah darlin i’m here i won’t leave you. i won’t leave you…” He whispered back, trying to stay strong. “Please don’t cry. I want this Stevie, please don’t cry.” Y/N begged. They sat there in silence for a moment. “I love you Y/N. You’re my everything. Stay with me, ok?” Y/N looked deep into his eyes. “I’m sorry Stevie..I love you. Just know, this ain’t your fault. It was my decision. I love you.” They continued. Steve leaned down and kissed them, they felt slightly cold. The paramedic came back. “The people we called are here. We need you to step back now.” Steve looked up at the paramedic. “Is there any way i can stay??” They shook their head. “We need to try to get them to a state where we can bring them to the hospital.” Y/N looked at the greaser. “I’ll be ok, go, i’ll see you soon.” Steve kissed his lover one last time before joining the rest of their gang.

Soda put his arm around his friends shoulders. The doctors tried to help Y/N but it was too late. “they’re dead. I’m sorry for your loss” a doctor announced as he walked over to the seven boys. Darry gasped softly. Ponyboy and Johnny both let out what sounded like a squeak. Sodapop whispered something under his breath. Dallas punched a nearby wall and Steve fell to the ground with a sob. “You have to be able to do something. Please! It’s not to late! There has to be something you can do?” He wailed. The doctor shook his head before going back to load up the body of Steve’s lover. “Wait!!” The greaser called. “Can i take their jacket. Please..” A nurse took the jacket off Y/N and handed it to Steve. “Thank you.” He walked back towards Sodapop but kept walking. He sat on the bridge where he and Y/N had their first kiss. He cried for hours. “Why would you leave me Y/N..Why…” He got up again and walked. He walked off into the darkness with nothing in his mind except the image of his once energetic lover lying lifeless on the ground.

[pagesfromthevoid]

im IN LOVE with false god, omg when natasha got introduced... perfect. cant wait for more.

False God | m.m. | 19

Matt Murdock x Avenger!reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Language. Just a tiny bit threatening

Author’s Note: I’m back(ish) baby

Series Masterlist | Talk to Me! | Buy Me a Coffee?

“Come back with me to Wakanda,” Natasha offered, arm wrapped around her friend’s shoulders as they walked down the street.

“I’m not super interested in watching Barnes get his brain fixed, honestly,” she admitted with a weak laugh, looking at her feet as they walked. It still felt like her eyes were swollen from crying. “Besides, I kind of like being a substitute teacher.”

“That’s the saddest thing you’ve said all week,” Natasha teased as she pushed open the door of the coffee shop with her foot. “And you’ve said some sad shit.”

Their attention snapped as a familiar voice called out her name. Karen was walking from the counter with a drink carrier –three coffees for the office. Natasha watched as the blonde approached, setting the coffees on the nearest table.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” Karen said dramatically, throwing her arms around the telepath in a hug. “Foggy won’t tell me what’s going on; Matt’s been ignoring everyone. I was so worried when he said you broke up with him, but I didn’t know if you’d want to hear from me.”

Truthfully, Karen would have been a welcome sight after the week she had been having. Natasha was an excellent friend, truly, but she was blunt and honest when it came to men and break-ups. And while that was greatly appreciated, sometimes she just wanted someone who would mope and watch shitty rom-coms with and eat ice cream. Karen would have happily done that with her; and not told Matt a word about it. Honestly, with how Matt treated his friends lately, she was certain Karen wouldn’t even tell him about their meeting today.

However, she almost scoffed at the thought that she was the one that broke up with him. “Sorry to burst your bubble, but Matt broke up with me.”

“What?” Karen exclaimed. “That son of a bitch just…he keeps lying to me. Oh my god.”

“That does seem to be Murdock’s whole thing,” Natasha interjected, waving her hand. Then she picked up one of the coffees. “Matt doesn’t deserve this. Thanks, Karen.”

As if suddenly realizing who stood in front of her, Karen’s eyes went wide as Natasha took a sip of the coffee she claimed as her own.

“How…how do you know who I am?”

“I know everyone who works with Matt Murdock.”

The telepath elbowed her friend, giving her a warning look. “Don’t be weird.”

Karen just laughed, shaking her head some. “Honestly, nothing is weird to me anymore. You two are the most normal experience I’ve had all week.”

“Why’s that?” She asked, now taking Foggy’s coffee.

“They’re going to be pissed that I’m coming back empty handed,” Karen commented, as if avoiding the question.

“Let them be pissy; you can take them the empty cups with a note from me,” Natasha offered.

“What happened this week?” She asked again, brow raised.

Karen just looked down for a moment, nodding in agreement before she continued. “I uh…I may have broken into Frank Castle’s house to find out about him. To try to help prove he can be considered insane, and can’t be held on trial.”

She almost spit out her coffee, covering her mouth now. “Karen, what the fuck?”

“Well, Matt’s been too busy to help with the case and Foggy is drowning –”

“I’ve read the man’s mind; he’s not insane. He fully understands what he did.”

“When have you read his mind?” Karen asked, frowning deeply as she picked up her own coffee now. Natasha gave her friend a pointed look but she simply shook her head.

“When he shot me.”

Karen could accept that answer, as it made the most sense. What would not have made sense would be explaining that she had been up on the roof with Matt and Frank the other night, not stopping Frank from absolutely demolishing an entire club of bikers. What would not have made sense would be explaining that she read Frank’s mind because she knew the man personally, and was willing to let him get his revenge; that Frank Castle would not stop until he reached it.

No, none of that made sense to explain to Karen, who didn’t know about Matt and her extracurricular actitivies.

Karen sipped her own coffee, nodding after a moment. “I just…I can’t believe Matt broke up with you; he was always talking about you.”

“Did he mention why he thinks I broke up with him?” She asked curiously. Natasha glanced at her from the corner of her eye.

“He just said that you were tired of the long hours he was working; which makes no sense because he’s barely ever at work lately.”

Now she scoffed. “Remember that client that deposited that big ass check into the firm’s account?” She asked. Karen nodded, frowning some as her brow furrowed. “It was his ex-girlfriend. He’s been helping her; he lied to me about it. Then I caught him with her in our bed.”

“Holy shit,” Karen set her coffee back down, leaning against the table behind her. “He…he really cheated on you?”

It would have been easier to say yes, Matt cheated on her. But she’d seen his thoughts. She had seen what happened. He hadn’t cheated on her; that wasn’t something he’d do. Besides, she didn’t need to help him ruin his friendship anyway. Matt seemed to be doing that just fine himself.

So she shook her head. “No, he didn’t. But his thoughts are incredibly loud; she was all he was able to focus on. And how he was corrupting me or some bullshit.”

“Matt…corrupting you?” Karen asked, tone shifting into uncertainty.

“Honestly, if anyone’s corrupting anyone, it’s me with him. After what we did in that church –”

It was Natasha who choked on her coffee next as Karen looked taken back for a moment. Natasha looked at her with surprise. “You did not desecrate a church with that man. Please tell me you’re lying.”

“Really wish I could. If I wasn’t going to hell before, I definitely am now.”

*****

Matt stood on the roof of her apartment that night, listening intently for any sign of her. She had blocked his number; she had blocked Foggy’s. When Karen had returned from the coffee shop with three empty coffees, she had called him out on his lies. Then she had left without another word. Foggy had just shaken his head and returned to Castle’s case, not able to give him any more of his attention.

Matt missed her.

It ached in his bones, like he was going to fall apart at any moment. He was becoming more reckless as he fought Elektra’s enemies; fought the Hand that she and Stick had talked about. It was almost as if he didn’t care if he lived or died anymore. And maybe he didn’t; after all, if he didn’t have her…what was the point?

He knew, deep down, this was for the best. That the pain would subside eventually. He would move on; maybe even with Elektra. She would move on too. But until then, he couldn’t help trying to catch even a glimpse of her voice. Any hint. But her apartment was empty; it had been empty the last two weeks. There was never any change. It was as if she disappeared into thin air. It was starting to make him worry, honestly. But he couldn’t do anything else but wait.

Elektra stood a few feet behind him, watching him with narrowed eyes. She was far from interested in Matt’s plights. She had thought that, without being attached to the Avenger, she could coax him back into her arms. And she did occasionally; they shared several moments that reminded her why she loved him. But he was not her’s to keep. She wasn’t quite used to getting what she wanted.

“She’s not here, Matthew,” Elektra pointed out, crossing her arms. “We need to get to work. Things aren’t going to stop simply because your heart aches for someone you cannot have.”

He huffed in anger, glancing over his shoulder at her. Deep down, he knew she was right. He couldn’t stop what he was doing; stop fighting this war Elektra brought to him, just because he missed her. But if a war was really coming —didn’t he have an obligation to warn her? To protect her? It’s why he left in the first place; to keep her safe from his corruption.

“She needs to know there’s danger,” Matt argued, turning now to leave.

Elektra followed close behind, rolling her eyes. “Matthew, she is an Avenger. Even if she didn’t absolutely hate you, she wouldn’t need your warning. I’m almost certain she can handle herself.”

“Wasn’t it you who told me I was putting her life at risk?” He snapped at her, turning on his heel to point down at her. “Wasn’t it you who said she deserves someone who can keep her safe —but now suddenly, she can handle herself?”

Elektra stared up at him, unbothered by his sudden anger. It wasn’t her fault Matt was so easily overcome by his need to protect others. “Perhaps I just wanted you to myself —“

“You manipulated me into leaving the woman I love—“

“You are a grown man, Matthew. I shouldn’t have been able to get into your head so easily,” she cut him off, stabbing her finger into the padding on his chest. “If you truly loved her so much, you would not have been so easily pushed away from her; so easily pushed back to me.”

Matt stared down at Elektra, his eyes narrowing under his mask. He hated that she was so capable of getting into his head. But Elektra had always been good at that; good at making him the worst version of himself.

“We can’t keep doing this,” he finally said, walking away from her once more. “Maybe I let you manipulate me, and maybe that says a lot about me. But I do not love you, Elektra. Not anymore.”

“Matthew —“

“No,” he snapped at her, but he kept his pace up as he hopped down onto the fire escape. “Whatever you think you did to ruin what she and I had —it didn’t work. It won’t work. I’d rather have her hate me than let you think you got anything out of it. Once this is done —once this fight, this war, whatever it is. When it is done, you will leave. And you will never bother me again.”

Elektra narrowed her eyes next, stopping her tailing of him. She was still on the roof as he made it about halfway down the building. “Perhaps I should go meet her for myself, then.”

Matt stopped abruptly, standing on the fire escape as he slowly looked back up at her. “If you so much as touch her, Elektra, you will regret it.”

“Prove it.”

Before Matt could get back on the roof, Elektra did what she did best: she disappeared.

Hell hath no fury like the Devil chasing his demons.

*****

“Frank keeps asking to talk to you. I could really use that,” Foggy pleaded with her as she kicked her feet up on the barstool. He had tried sitting down; she was blocking his way. “Seriously? Five minutes.”

“Three.”

“Fine.”

She moved her feet, allowing him to sit down now as she turned back to her drink. It wasn’t Josie’s, where she had gotten used to going, but it would do for the time being. It wasn’t worth going to Josie’s in the offhand chance Matt would be there. Though, based on the things she was hearing from Natasha, he wasn’t exactly going out and drinking with buddies.

“How’d you know I’d be here?” She asked, looking over her cocktail with a frown.

“Marci saw you and told me,” he admitted, setting his briefcase on the bar now. “I get you’re mad at Matt. You should be. He’s being a shitty friend right now. But I swear on my life, on my license, everything —if you help me, I won’t tell him anything about you.”

She sipped her drink, taking a moment to consider her options. “What can I do? I’m just a substitute teacher —“

“That’s such bullshit,” he laughed, shaking his head.

“I happen to really like my job,” she argued, giving him a pointed look. “What do you need, Foggy? Of course I’ll help.”

The relief that flooded his face was endearing; she felt bad that she had cut him off. Foggy had been one of her only friends during her house arrest, and she had missed him as much as she had missed Karen. But it just wasn’t a risk she could take. However, with how bad Matt seemed to be treating everyone —maybe this was a sign of a bigger problem at hand.

Foggy explained that Frank refused to talk to him or Matt (when Matt showed up), but said he’d talk to her. That would have been fine, but because she wasn’t a lawyer, Foggy worried that it wouldn’t be admissible in court. But it was something —and if it was the only thing they could get, he’d try it. Especially because he was going into this alone.

“You know,” Foggy lifted the beer the bartender slid to him. “Natasha is terrifying.”

“She’s much nicer than she let’s on,” she promised, smiling behind her glass. “It’s…it’s been a long time since she’s needed to really keep an eye out for me. I don’t usually get hurt easily.”

“She’s a good friend,” he offered, standing now as he left his money on the bar and took his briefcase. “At least one of us has someone backing us up.”

She frowned deeply her eyes followed his movement, brow furrowing. If she pulled this thread, if she asked about him, her progress in getting over it would be squandered. Matt’s activities didn’t matter to her anymore. They couldn’t. They shouldn’t. But the words were coming out of her mouth before she could stop herself.

“What’s he doing?”

Foggy shook his head, adjusting his case over his shoulder. “I…I really wish I could tell you. He doesn’t answer his phone and he hasn’t really come to work.”

She didn’t need to read Foggy’s mind to know how hurt he was. It was so clear in his voice and face as he thought about Matt. And it only made her decision to stay away from him more solid. If he was so willing to hurt his friends and her for Elektra and whatever this bullshit was —he’d do it again and again.

“I gotta go,” she announced, shaking her head. “I have superhero lessons to give.”

“To who?” Foggy asked, frowning. “You’re still on probation.”

She waved him off. “Spider-Man needs my help.”

“If I can guess his identity —“

“I wouldn’t tell you if you were right. Superhero bro code.”

Foggy just nodded, walking with her towards the door. When they exited, and bid each other good bye, she promised she’d unblock him. Foggy seemed genuine that he wouldn’t tell Matt anything; even if he could. She promised not to hesitate to call if she needed him, and said she’d send him the address of where she was staying so they could prepare his questions for Frank.

They went their separate ways, and she made her way back to the hotel. She couldn’t stay there forever, but Stark had booked out the remainder of the month for her. It was going to be her home until she felt that Matt wouldn’t be stalking her apartment. Natasha had caught him there, and she just wasn’t ready to see him in any other capacity besides “work.”

Even that was a bit much.

As she walked, there was an uneasy feeling in her stomach. Like she was being watched. As she scanned the thoughts of those around her —thinking it was Matt —she turned a sharp corner. But the thoughts weren’t his. And by the time she realized who it was, she was backed into a corner, trapped. A sai pressed to her throat.

“I do believe it’s time for you and I to become acquainted.”

“I’d rather you just kill me, honestly.”

“That can certainly be arranged,” Elektra responded, though she didn’t seem to be threatening her. She pulled her weapon away.

Elektra’s thoughts weren’t loud by any means. It was the opposite really. They were very calculated, cold. But between the flashes of Matt’s face and the violent images from whatever they were doing, something made the hero uncomfortable as she side stepped away from her. Elektra didn’t seem to care enough to stop her.

“I’m sure Matt would be just thrilled if you killed his ex.”

“He would get over it, I’m sure.”

But the conversation that seemingly passed through Elektra’s mind told a different story.

———

Series Masterlist

———

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[kisstheassassins]

Hi there😊May I request a HC with Connor and SO who is an assassin in The Tyranny of King, but in this SO doesn't remember him when he finds her in the same prison as Kanen'tó:kon hanging by her wrists being tortured by a bluecoat(similar to what happened to Leliana in DA Inquisition). Also she would the same person he originally knew, but cold & kind of emotionless. Not to mention she wouldn't trust him either. Lol sorry that got dark, but thank you for taking the time to read this!

I hope this is to your liking 😊

Also im using (p/n) as your preferred pronouns.

The two men had finally been liberated from the prison they were held in, but Kanen had one last thing to do here before he could finally leave.

There they were at a four-way cross section of the jail, with Kanen looking around at each hallway as if he were trying to remember something.

"What is it?" Ratonhnhaké:ton asked his friend; his hand was pulling on Kanen's arm to make him hurry, but he pulled away.

"We cannot leave yet," the other man says, running down one of the halls. If Connor hadn't trusted his friend he would have gone the other way, but he follows close behind.

They find themselves at a closed door, and behind it a voice can be heard. It's cold and harsh, and upon creaking the door open Kanen realizes its not just one person, but two. You hang by your wrists from the ceiling by chains, feet barely hitting the floor as you gasp for each breath.

"I know that there were more of you," the guard says harshly. He has some sort of blunt weapon in his hand to strike you when he thinks you're either lying, or doesn't like the answer you give him. Your face is bloodied and bruised.

"Beat me all you want," you growl, "I'm not saying a damn thing. You and your false King can rot in hell."

Your voice rang through Ratonhnhaké:tons ears like a cannon firing just beside him. His breath quickens as he and Kanen rush in just before the guard strikes you, startling him.

However, before they can reach him your legs wrap around his neck tightly, using your chains to lift you up and choke the man with your limbs. You apply more pressure with each passing minute, and eventually jerk your hips sideways to result the sound of his neck snapping. His body slumps to the floor, as well as your legs. You're exhausted.

Kanen moves the dead body to the side and searches for the key while Ratonhnhaké:ton looks you over. He's still trying to process that he even found you, let alone in this prison. And the state of you; it made him sick to see you so beaten. He always promised to protect you and to prevent this type of thing.

"Took your bloody time," you say, an exasperated smile gracing your lips. Kanen unlocks the braces one by one, and Ratonhnhaké:ton helps you stand when each hand is free. You can't help but fall to the floor, and he helps you down gently. Kanen kneels on the other side of you.

"I don't particularly enjoy leaving my friends behind," he says. You rub your wrists and wince at the pain; no doubt these bruises would be here a while.

Your eyes meet the other man's, suspicion building up the more he stares. His eyes are soft and his mouth is partially open like he wants to say something.

"Friend of yours?" you ask, looking up at Kanen. He nods.

"More like a brother. This is Ratonhnhaké:ton."

You both lock eyes again, and a sense if warmth and familiarity fill your chest. It confuses you; you know you have never met this man in your life, so why are you so..... fuzzy?

You nod at him in greeting.

"(Y/n)," you say, and even though he knows it, he smiles to you anyway.

Kanen and Ratonhnhaké:ton help you stand up and keep you close to support your legs, as it was somewhat difficult to walk after the beatings you received.

"Go on ahead," Ratonhnhaké:ton says, "I'll help (p/n)."

With just you two now following a ways behind Kanen, Connor has a close grip on you and you can't help but notice how closely he watches you. You don't have to look to know, but you can feel his eyes on you.

You try to break the wall with small talk.

"Thanks for doing this," you say, "uh.... " A laugh escapes you. "Sorry, I don't know how to say your name."

He knew it was coming, but he played a long.

"What would you like to call me then?" he asks softly. Your eyes meet his once again and you chuckle.

"My mentor," you begin, "he had a son. Died when he was only six." A pause. "Is Connor okay?"

The man smiles and nods, fixing his grip on your back. You fall in closer to him as your legs are still weak.

"It's perfect," he chuckles, but you weren't able to feel how his heart ached and yearned for you at that moment. "How about we get out of here, hm?"

-----

Benjamin Franklin had been attending to your wounds on your hands and wrists, while the other two who saved you leaned over a table discussing their next move for the revolution over Washington. You can't help but stare at Connor and wonder why he felt so familiar to you, but you never met the man.

"Something bothering you, (y/n)? " Ben asks. You keep your eyes focused.

"How come I've never met Connor," you say. Your friend looks to where you are looking.

"You mean Ratonhnhaké:ton?"

Your eyes glance to Ben and then back.

"We settled on Connor since I can't pronounce his name," you say.

Ben finishes up wrapping the bandages around the cut on your palm, watching you wince as he tucks the fabric in.

"Well," he begins, "I don't think Kanen'tó:kon expected to find his friend here in the midst of all this. He went to war with Washington even before Ratonhnhaké:ton and his mother did."

You sit up off the table and pulls your sleeves down over your bandages.

"Do you trust him?"

"He's been very helpful so far," he states, "in fact, I believe he's done more for us in the past week than we have in a month. I dont think you have anything to worry about."

----

A brief war table meeting later, and everyone has departed to complete their duty for the day, leaving you to rest and Connor to go over what he had missed over the past few weeks. You find yourself beside him staring at the wall of photos and drawings that you and your colleagues had collected for evidence and tracking. Connor stares up at Washington, eyes malice and eager to find the man.

"You seem to have a personal vendetta with him," you say, more so than we do."

Connor looks to you and then back at the wall, exhaling sharply.

"He has done a lot of harm and damage to my people, as well as the rest of the world. My home was burned, my people enslaved."

He stops a moment to collect himself and take a deep breath, almost preparing himself for what he had to say next.

"He... murdered my mother. My father."

You swallow the lump in your throat; people were lucky enough to survive Washington's wrath, let alone escape it. A majority of those here weren't so lucky.

"I'm sorry," you say softly.

A few moments pass and you can't help but stare at him, that feeling familiarity hitting you dead in the chest again. Your palms are sweaty too, you notice, and you're chewing the inside of your cheek. Connor glances your way and turns his head when he sees you.

"What?" he says. You exhale sharply.

"Are you sure we haven't met before?" He shakes his head. "I feel like I've seen you before and its driving me mad."

Connor shifts in his spot, thinning his lips and staring at you, waiting, as if he wanted to speak. But he doesn't. Instead he watches you get closer.

"I don't normally trust people so easily," you say, "but seeing Kanen being so open and close to you, I feel like I can too. Don't take me the wrong way Connor, but you feel real familiar to me and I don't know why."

He smiles sheepishly, memories if you flooding his mind back in.... his original world. All of this surely had to be a nightmare.

"Perhaps we should work together," he begins, "see where this goes from here."

You smile at him and he does the same for you, making you chuckle. You pat his arm and make way upstairs; he is in close pursuit.

He prayed to his ancestors nothing happened to you after this.

[poursomesunaonme]

HEY BITCH>:)))) treating myself to some lovely geto angst<3 (that whole statement is just so alarming to me now that i reread it). let’s go with “title and registration” by death cab for cutie heheh. lyrics: “…when i stumbled upon pictures i tried to forget / there’s no blame for how our love did slowly fade / and now that it’s gone, it’s like it wasn’t there at all / and here i rest where disappointment and regret collide, lying awake at night” go make urself cry<3

heheh hEY BITCH!!! sorry im so annoying yall i thought i’d slide right in at the end of this event hehehe

cw: heavy angst no comfort, major character death & manga spoilers, suggestive themes

your hand freezes mid reach. his smiling face beams up at you. rain pounds on the windshield, effectively muting the thrum of your heart in your ears.

his face hasn’t changed a bit, which of course it wouldn’t, being a photograph. somehow, you had expected any other visual of him to look unfamiliar and strange. but those same laughter lines still deepen on his face. his eyes still crinkle with the force of his radiant grin.

and you can’t move. you’re frozen to the spot, stuck in your seat, halted by his sudden reappearance in your life, albeit in the form of an old polaroid.

the officer gives you a ticket and you let him drive away from behind you. the rain continues to pour around your vehicle, the sweet smell drenching the concrete.

and suguru still smiles as your fingers close around his frame. you’re just barely in the picture; it’s only half your arm and a peace sign that made it in. satoru had offered to do the honors, but unfortunately for you, you had hurt his pride earlier in the day, so this was how he retaliated.

it’s funny how the same man made the move that eternally kept you from your soulmate.

the tears that fall from your eyes match the pace of the rain as you slam your foot on the gas pedal. the tires peal loudly on the wet concrete for a few moments before your car skids forward. the jerky movements would have scared you under normal circumstances, but no pain could match the wound that had just reopened in your heart.

the picture kisses your chest as you tuck it into your shirt to keep it protected from the rain. the warm mattress is a welcome comfort after you strip down from your soggy clothes, collapsing in a weak heap of sorrow.

you press a kiss to the film, but it’s no use - suguru will never feel the warmth of your lips again. he’ll never take you out for boba, or buy you tickets to the toy cranes that you’d like to play for hours until he got you a stuffed animal in one try.

he’ll never skip out on responsibilities on you when you both desperately need a mental health day; he’ll never practice braiding hair under your strict guidance; he’ll never lay his claim on you in the middle of the night.

the shocking reminder of your lover’s untimely demise suffocates you there, as you lay curled up with his picture pressed against your heart.

© all work belongs to poursomesunaonme. do not copy and repost.

[domthedevil]

I'm absolutely loving your gentle series, could you maybe do Beel next? 👉👈

Big Beel is already so gentle and this made me weak in the knees. I don��t know what it is about this series but it’s so fun to write. Thank you for sending this in! Also is 3 AM so ignore my horrible errors.

Be Gentle pt 4

Warnings: Beel x AFAB!MC, loss of virginity

The stupid way Asmo and Mammon bickered over who you liked better only made Beel’s stomach rumble. Thinking there were better places to be, Beel crept out of the room and made his way to your room. He remembered you’d brought a special snack from the Human World for him. And he’d be lying if he said the previous conversation didn’t make him want to see you.

Hearing a knock on your door - a single loud thunk, you called for Beel to come in in response. Joyfully he walked in to see you relaxing in bed. He forgot you had been waiting for him to give this gift the him. He apologized softly before sitting behind you on the bed, wrapping his arms around you and the small present you held. Beel’s chin rested on your shoulder as your cheeks grew warm.

“I got a present from home. It’s my favorite.” Kissing his cheek softly you opened the box to show him the treat you had picked out just for him. That little dribble of drool you thought was adorable grazed your cheek. “B-Beel!!”

“S-Sorry!” He clumsily wiped his mouth and your cheek with the sleeve of his jacket. Your laugh assured him that you weren’t actually mad. Shifting to sit in his lap facing him, hands on his shoulders, you kissed his cheek again. Beel noticed hot warm your cheek was against his when you spoke lowly.

“Actually Beel...I was hoping I could ask you something?”

“Of course!” Beel managed to make out in between bites.

“MC...Im really happy.” His red cheeks framed the huge smile across his face. “I want to...be close to you.”

“You’re being too honest.” You nervously laughed. “But...if it’s you Beel, I know you’ll be gentle.”

“Of course.”

His husky voice brushed against Your lips as he kissed you softly. Too softly. But you smiled as he slowly pressed against you harder. Broad arms shed the jacket he normally wore, followed by his shirt. He knew they wouldn’t be missed. Now that they were bare, Beel’s arms wrapped around you tightly.

A small moan slipped through your puffy lips. Beel’s tongue wrestled yours into submission. His kisses were so different from anyone else’s. He knew how to work this muscle to achieve its peak performance. He groaned in response before further exploring your mouth. These small noises you made while he kissed you drove him insane. Beel blushed slightly as he thought about coming the other night to the thought of this. Of sharing this experience.

Rubbing his chest, soft but firm under your finger tips, your hips rocked slowly against his. Parting a moment from the intoxicating kiss, you let out a subtle gasp for air. Beel’s big hands travelled to your hips. Holding them still as he used his own hips to rub against you. The rough way he pressed his hardening cock against you made you wet. He was an impressive size. And you worried for a moment what it would feel like.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you MC.” His low soothing voice resounded in your core.

Holding you close, he rolled you both over. A little too eagerly, Beel helped you out of your clothing. Seeing you naked in front of him had that same small trail of drool run down his chin. You felt a little embarrassed, but flattered all the same. Wiping his mouth clean again, he lied onto you so that he could kiss you, and trail down to your sensitive nubs. A shaky moan from your excited voice made his member twitch with need.

“Is this good MC?” Beel needed validation and confirmation.

“You can be...a little rougher.” Your voice was small but laced with lust. Arms on his shoulders, you braces your self as his teeth nibbled around your peaks. Sucking and licking hungrily. “Nngh-! Y-yes...that’s good.”

As your hands tangle in his bright locks, his hands traveled under you. Your hips twitch at the feeling of his rough finger against your clit. Huffing Beel’s name quietly, he moved his finger in tight circles against the sensitive bundle of nerves. Making small waves of heat run through you. Beel grew harder the more you said his name. Fuck he was trying so hard to hold back. But this was about you, not just him.

Slipping a finger into your entrance, Beel was met with little resistance, though it felt as if it were two of your own fingers at once. You had already soaked the underwear you’d been wearing earlier,helping him ease into you. His second finger made your voice crack. Though not too thick or long, his fingers were still able to stretch parts of you that you’d never felt before. Beel whispered small encouragements as he worked to stretch you more.

“Does it hurt MC? I’ll stop if it does.”

“N-No. Don’t stop now.”

“You’re doing so well MC. Relax and let me take care of you.”

Moving away a moment, Beel’s face turned a deep red as he watched you watching him. Slowly the buckle on his belt and underwear descended and there you gazed upon his cock for the first time. He was intimidating, but you still bit your bottom lip with desire. The glazed look in your eye made Beel’s heart pound.

Holding your thighs together with his hands, Beel pulled you to the edge of your bed. Holding your legs vertically, he aligned his cock with the space between your thighs and swollen clit.

“Squeeze your thighs MC...I want to show you a little...how it’s going to feel.”

Following his suggestion and squeezing your legs tightly together, Beel thrusted his cock between your legs, tucked right above your dripping sex and slamming the tip of his cock against your clit. You couldn’t stop the moans leaving you breathless. Gripping at the sheets below you and twisting with pleasure only encouraged Beel to thrust faster and harder.

A deep burning in your core started to become unbearable. Every ridge on his shaft covered itself in your delicious slick. Your sensitive pearl being roughly pressed sent wave after wave of ecstasy over you. Soon it crashed against your shores. Walls clenching around nothing, your first orgasm had your hips twitching. Beel had to stop himself from drooling again as he admired your lewd expression. His hips had stopped once he realized your moans were growing sexier and sexier.

“M-more. Beel I want more...” you managed to puff and pant out as you spread your legs.

“I love you MC.” He held your hands in his large and rough ones. Rubbing his slick covered dick in short thrusts and pressing the tip of his cock inside you, your relaxed walls and wet pussy wanted to suck him inside. However he was going to move slow. Easing himself in, Beel groaned as it passed inside of you for the first time. You hissed loudly, holding back the cry you wanted to let out. A few small tears fell as your breathing regulated. A sharp pain had scared you a moment, but it had faded to a dull ache.

“Beel...I love you.” Your shaky voice rang out as he continued to sink himself into your warmth. “It feels so strange but...it feels so good too.”

“Do you want me to move?”

You nodded as your arms wrapped around his neck. Placing a soft kiss to your cheek, he lifted his hips in slow thrusts. Letting the feeling of his dick pulling in and out of you linger each time he moved. Licking soothingly on your neck he moved as evenly as possible.

“Is that good?”

“Mmn...m-more Beel.”

His grin and the glimmer in his amethyst eyes made you fall even more in love with him. As his hips sped up he began to press against a very sensitive spot. With how much he was stretching you it felt like every thrust built the heat in your core.

“Y-yes.”

He loved how vocal you were. Hearing how much you liked it encouraged him. Gave him freedom to indulge as well. Knowing he was the first to see this side of you made him blush furiously. This sight was just for him. Straightening his back, Beel looked down at you as he bounced you up and down his cock. Seeing the full picture made his orgasm quicken. And soon your name fell from his lips like a spell he had to remember for class.

“Beel I’m close again. It’s so tight and hot. W-what do I do?” There was a slight panic in your tone.

“Shhh...hold on to me.”

Wrapping his arms around your torso again, Beel buried his face into your neck. Your hasty moans and whimpers made him drool uncontrollably. This time there was no stopping it. But you were too focused on the burning coil about to spring inside you.

“Coming...” Beel could barely make out your whine. But he knew he had heard you clearly when your walls flexed and pulsed and squeezed around him. A deep guttural sound echoed in your room as Beel unexpectedly felt himself come inside you. You begged him to still a moment as your whole body twitched and adjusted back to gravity. Your orgasm had run so deep your toes were numb.

“MC. Are you...?” Beel’s voice trailed off as he finished cleaning you and himself up. Still nude, he rested on the bed beside you. Locking eyes with yours.

“I’m great Beel. That was so amazing.” You bit your lip again, looking at him with bedroom eyes. “Can we...do it again?”

Letting out a hearty chuckle, Beel lifted you so that you straddled his waist above him.

“Anything for you MC.”

“You’re drooling Beel...”

This is a continuation of a request. Read more here:

Be Gentle (Levi x AFAB!MC)

Be Gentle (Belphegore x AFAB!MC)

Be Gentle (Satan x AFAB!MC)

[dreamifics]

John Wick x Assassin!Reader!

Two Broken Souls

Chapter 1:

A woman push pass people in the busy and rainy street of New York, she was making her way to The Continental. She was covering her face with the dark hoodie that envelops her whole body..

Entering the hotel, the woman caught everyone's attention, but it didn't faze her. She sashay her way to the counter, taking off her hood in the process.. Small gasps and hush whispers filled the hotel lobby.

The woman was all covered in blood, her eyes were blank and cold but she was carrying a black duffel bag.. This was Y/N L/N or as the underworld calls her 'The Reaper', she's a highly paid assassin and anywhere she goes Death always follow..

They all know that she is the perfect epitome of Death.

Rumors has it that she even surpasses the infamous 'Baba Yaga'..

But the truth is Y/N was hopelessly and completely in love with John Wick, they used to be partners but he left her for Helen, given they were just friends but he left her high and dry.. Y/N had no hard feelings, she just wanted John to be happy and it was nice to see that Helen unconditionally loves the man she also love.. Helen was a sweet and nice person while she is far from that.. She's just a quick-witted, sarcastic evil killer and deep inside her she knew that she didn't deserve John..

Everyone she loves will only die..

Reaching the concierge, she drops her hand to the desk and drop some gold coins.. Charon gave Y/N a small smile, and accepted the coins.

"Charon, give me a room and some medical supply.." Her voice was cold and blank, Y/N is not usually like this to peoole she's acquainted with.. Y/N is just having a rough day, for god's sake she was covered with blood that doesn't even belong to her and to top that up she have a gunshot wound in her abdomen.

"Rough day, Miss L/N?"

"You could say.." She answered while her fingers tapped the concierge desk, Y/N was slowly getting impatient.

"Here you go..Room 12--" He was cut off by the desk phone ringing.

"Please wait a moment, Miss L/N.." Charon answered the phone but he still hasn't given Y/N her keys..

Growing more and more impatient Y/N wanted to grab the keys from his hand and punched him but Charon is her frien--more like acquaintance..

"Okay, i'll move her.." Charon said aa he ended the call..

"Miss L/N, you have been moved to Room 134..Please enjoy your stay.."

He gives Y/N the new key and she grabs it and made her way to the elevator.. She was confused that she has been moved, knowing that Winston is probably the one behind this action, she just shrugged it off.

The elevator opens and it revealed a man with a black suit and a long hair that covered his whole face, Y/N doesn't even need to see the man's face.. She knew that this was the guy she loved, the one who she still loves.

John was stunned at the person that is infront of him.. Y/N L/N, the girl he used to love but didn't do anything because he was afraid to jeopardize their friendship, so he moved on and that's where he met Helen.

He noticed that Y/N was covered in blood, worries shot through his whole body.. Y/N may be a good assassin but she never cared about the state her body is in..

"Are you okay?"

Y/N's breath hitched, she felt a lump got caught in her throat and her heart was beating out of her chest. The way his eyes travel to her face and body, it was making her weak.

"Im-Im alright.."

John forehead creased, he can see when people are lying to him but Y/N was a very good liar.

"Is that your blood?" He asks gesturing to her whole body.

"Maybe 2 percent of it, the remaining belonged to many assholes who got in my way.." Y/N tried to joke but it came out a little rude..

"I see you haven't change.." John gave her a smile, it has been long since he smiled like this.

"Ye-Yeah..I have to go." She dismissed all the feelings that was once bubbling up again, she entered the elevator and John got out..

"It's nice to see you Y/N, i hope we can get a drink later.." John offered but he only got a blank stare from Y/N..

And she was gone, the elevator has closed it doors..

Y/N doesn't want to see John ever again, she was broken-hearted when he left, the pain she felt can't amount to any gunshot wounds she endured in her life.

Y/N hoped that this was the last time she will see John Wick, the man she loves..

The elevator reached her floor, she walks to her door and unlocked the room.. Entering inside she flops down the couch and grabbed the medical supplies that was laying around in the table infront of the couch.

After she took out the bullet and stitch herself up, she took a shower.. Now she's looking all over her hotel room for any alcohol that will supress the pain she was feeling.. But she found nothing, Charon and Winston know that she always need to have an alcohol in her room but what happend? Did they forgot?

Giving up she went through her clothes and pulled out a black dress, she slowly took of the bathrobes that were covering her body and carefully slid on the dress..

Y/N wore a black leather boots, hiding a dagger knife inside and putting a gun holster in her legs.. She can never be too careful, she let her hair fall on her shoulders as she grabs the door handle and swing it open.

In that exact time the door infront of her room also swing open revealing John..

Y/N mentally curses at herself, she didn't want to see John anymore.. It will only made it harder to move on, she sighs and slammed the door as fast as she could.

John noticed Y/N but his gaze was immediatly broken by the slamming of her door.. Was Y/N avoiding him?

He closed his door and knock on Y/N's.. John heard Y/N curse at herself and the door opened..

"Oh!Hey John!Didn't see you there!" Y/N faked a smile but John saw right through it.

"Drop the act..Are you avoiding me?" John asks with desperation in his tone..

Y/N was frozen, should she tell John her undying love? But she was not like Helen, she wasn't sweet nor nice and she can't givr John the normal life he yearns.. Helen and Y/N are different, John would never love a girl like her..

She was a cold-blooded killer..

A frown escaped her lips as thoughts like that crept unto Y/N's mind.. Shaking off her mind, she focused back on John who was giving her a penetrating gaze..

"N-Nothing, let's get that drink.." She pulled John's arm and lead him to the elevator..

As she touches John's arm it send thousand of sparks to her whole body..

"So what are you up to?" Y/N tried her hardest to change the topic and not look into John's heartmelting eyes..

"You know what i did...How about you?Last i heard you were in Italy?"

Y/N did vacation in Italy--and what she means by vacation was assassinating enemies of the High Table..

"Just a vacation.." She mutters and the elevator opened..

The two got in and pressed the ground floor, an eerie silence filled the elevator..

"Vacation?Did not know that you take those.." John joked making you frown..

"Ha ha!Did not know you make jokes.."

The two just laugh and the ambiance became more comfortable..

"So how are you holding up?" Y/N asks, her tone was dripping with worries..

"I'll be fine.." His face turned into a sad frown, it made Y/N's heart crack, Y/N aches when she sees the love of her life hurting..

"Im sorry.." Y/N comforted the man infront of her and gives him a hug..

And in that action, John couldn't contain the sadness in his heart anymore.. So he closed his eyes and embrace Y/N's hug.. His head falling on the nook of Y/N's neck..

"Im so sorry John.."

She tighten the hug and rubbed his back.. Why can't Y/N seem to let John go? Why can't she move on?

"If you want help, i can help you.. Let's kill those sons of bitches.."

John chucked and Y/N felt the vibrate of his laugh.. Her heart jumped and Y/N's throat getting drier every second that John was in the crook of her neck.

"This is my battle..Besides you are the only thing i have now..I can't bear to lose you too.." John explained, meaning every word of it.. Does he still have feelings for Y/N?

The elevator door reached the floor and the doors opened, standing there was a smirking Winston..

Y/N frowned when she knew what Winston was thinking, he was the only person that knows her undying love for John.. She pulled back from the hug and exits the elevator..

John felt a little disappointed when she pulled away from his embrace, and that's when he sees Winston standing infront of them..

"Hey Winston!" Y/N greeted the father figure she looks up to, and hugs him..

"Ahh!Dear!I see you found our beloved John Wick..." A sly smirk tugged in his lips, John didn't know what that means but he did noticed the way Y/N shifted uncomfortably..

"Im going to the bar.." Y/N announces, leaving John and Winston for the bar..

John watch Y/N walks away from them, the way her hips sway as she move.. He remembered the first time he saw Y/N..

It was another mission for John, kill Alessandro Rossi, the man who planned to overthrown him.. He was in a club waiting for Alessandro to walk in, sitting in the bar and that's when he saw Y/N..

Wearing a tight black dress and sitting across the club, with a drink in her hand.. Y/N was also waiting for Alessandro, she was ordered to get some information from the bastard

He still remember the first sentence Y/N said to him.

"Baba Yaga?You know that names is really weird..Thinking about changing it?" The woman said to him as she pointed a gun to Alessandro's head.

"Wh-what now?" John was mesmerized by Y/N, the way she took down the bodyguards and her sarcastic remarks when Alessandro curses at her..

"You bitch!Im going to kill you and send you to hell!"

"Who said your going to live?" Y/N's voice was blank but it was also dripping with smugness..

"BITCH!!IM SENDING YOU TO HELL!!"

"Well you see--Im the Reaper..Im the one who decides who dies and im also the one who drag people back to hell!"

John was just standing there as Y/N interrogates the man.. He smiles at how sassy she talks to Alessandro and Y/N interrogation skills was top-notch..

"BITCH LET ME OUT OF HERE!YOUR A HEARTLESS BITCH!!I'LL SEE YOU BURNING IN HELL!!IM GOING TO KILL YOU!!YOUR GOING TO DIE WHORE!"

John's jaws clenched at the insults he spit on Y/N, he was always a gentleman.. And that is no way to treat a lady.. He was about to do something when Y/N grabbed a knife and stabbed his knee..

"I know there's a compliment somewhere in there and i'll take it.."

"You bitch!"

"Ah, there it is!"

John stood there with a big smile in his face and when Y/N was done getting information out of him, John thought that she's going to finish the job but instead she turns around and gave John a viscious smirk.

"Im all done!You can kill the motherfuck--"

"You said i'll live!!" Alessandro cried and Y/N just slaps him in the face

''I also said that im 22 so see you in hell.." Y/N gave Alessandro a wicked smile..

"NOOOO!"

"Do it.." She said walking away from the dark warehouse and going outside to get some fresh air..

John just looked at Y/N amazed before turning back to Alessandro who was weeping..

John also remembered the day he realized he was falling inlove with Y/N

Y/N and John began a friendship--more like a partnership, the two was the most highly paid assassins and the most powerful..

It was John's birthday and he doesn't celebrate but when he met Y/N, she keep insisting to celebrate so Y/N throw John some suprise parties but she always fails because he doesn't show up.

Except for one, it was a day before his birthday when Y/N left and said she was going to do a mission in Tokyo but the truth was she threw John a suprise birthday party. The only people who was invited was the two of them..

He entered his apartment and that's where he saw Y/N.. Baking a cake which she was horribly failing at that Y/N didn't even notice John walking in.. The whole place was decorated with birthday banners and balloons..

"Damn!This cake is killing me!" She utters under her breath..

"What are you doing?"

"What the fuck?!" Y/N shouted and she pointed the gun at him..

"Woah!"

"Sorry!Thought you were someone else!"' She pouted and her eyes widen when as she remembered that it was a surpise birthday..

"Oh!SURPRISE!Ugh!I ruined it!I was the one who got suprised!" She shouted making John laugh..

"What are you doing?Are you trying to burn down my kitchen?" He jokes making Y/N frown..

"Ha ha!So funny!Just shut up and help me bake a cake!!Im the infamous Reaper but this cake is killing mee!"

And that was the day he knew he was inlove with you..

"John, you should go for it.."

John snapped back to reality as Winston spoke, he stares at the man and just shake his head..

"I don't know what your talking about.." John push pass Winston..

"You know she feels the same way.."

This made John stop, is it really true?

Is it true that the infamous 'Reaper' likes him back? The memory of Helen suddenly enters him mind.. He felt guilty, like he was cheating..

"Helen would want you to move on.."

John growls at Winston by the mention of Helen's name.. Winston just chuckled and taps his shoulder..

"Kids nowadays.." Winston mumbles and walked towards the elevator.

John sighs and made his way to bar where Y/N was sitting, a whiskey in her hand..

Y/N mind flew to the endless nights she was crying because of John, the way she watch John from a distant on his wedding day because she refused to come.. It took a toll on her emotional and physical state..

The days where Y/N was down, she didn't even do her job right.. It was always messy, her mind was always flying.. She remembers the time she saw John and Helen having fun, that was the day she accepted her faith..

That she and John will always and forever be just friends.

She moved the glass to her lips, taking a sip of the whiskey.. It burned her throat but she was addicted to it, the oh so satisfying burn of the alcohol..

Y/N saw from the corner of her eye a man was approaching her, Y/N's hand traveled to her gun holster, readying it if someone does attack her..

"Am i seeing right?Or Y/N L/N is drinking alone?"

Y/N turned around to see the owner of the voice, a small smirk played in her lips when it dawned to her..

This was Alex Kavelj, a past lover..

Partner.

Friend.

And enemy..

The two of them tried to kill each other, like Mr and Mrs Smith only without the happy ending.. Y/N ended up winning but she couldn't bring herself to kill the man she used to sleep with..

"Well if it isn't Mister Alex Kavelj.." A smirk played in her lips, she turned back her attention on the drink in her hand but her other hand was still on her holster..

"Come to kill me again?" She taunted at the man behind her, she doesn't know Alex intentions..

"You know i wouldn't do that to you.." He purrs sitting next to Y/N, he signaled to the bartender for a drink..

A scoff escaped her lips as she sips her whiskey, and just shakes her head in amusement.

"Lies.."

"Come on Y/N!Believe me!It's like we don't have any history together.."

Y/N wanted to throw her glass at the man beside her but doing that will cause only chaos to the two of them.. Alex just looked at her, his eyes were burning with lust.. And Y/N noticed it, she felt disgusted..

Y/N regrets sleeping with Alex, they used each other.. Y/N used him as a distraction from John while Alex used her for lust..

"Keep dreaming.." Y/N's voice was filled with disgust, she felt a hand on her shoulders.. She was ready to pounce Alex but she sees the man she hates was still sitting besides her..

Turning her head, she sees John with a serious face.. Y/N has got to admit that she was turned on for just a little bit..

"Is there something wrong?" John asks, his voice was stern and filled with authority..

Y/N just give John a small smile and turn to face Alex.. She slowly let go of her gun holster, she felt safe with John with her.

"Just dealing with pests, that's all.." She said gulping the last bit of whiskey in her glass..

"Mind if i sit with you?" John asks, his hand still holding her shoulder..

"Well that is the deal.." Y/N smiles, she hears Alex scoff..

"Is this your new boy toy?"

"No he's just a fri--"

"Yes, i am..Now what does it matter to you?" John cuts Y/N off, her jaw was wide open.. Surprised at what John had say..

"Chill man!Just reuniting with an old friend.." Alex winks at Y/N making her shudder in disgust.

"Okay..Now leave.." John demanded with the coldest stare anyone could ever get.

Alex just laughs grabbing his drink and walked away from but not without giving Y/N a flirtatious wink..

"Call me if that toy boy of yours is broken!" He waved at Y/N but she just growled at him..

Turning back her attention to the bartender while gesturing a refill.. John sits next to her, moving a little closer to Y/N.

"Who was that?" John asks his eyes were filled with anger and jealousy.. But Y/N didn't see it, she was busy melting in his eyes.

"Just an old acquaintance.."

"Doesn't seem like it.." John growls..

Y/N eyebrows were furrowed at her friends weird behaviour.. Ignoring it she takes another sip of her whiskey, John motioned for a drink and points at my whiskey.

"Yeah, im totally lying..We used to have a friends with benifits thing.. Then we tried to kill each other but i made the mistake of letting him go.."

John whole body stiffened when he heard that term 'friends with benefits'.. He doesn't even know what that means but that does sound very nice..

"What that does mean?" He asks..

Y/N laughs at John's confused face.. She forgot that John doesn't know slangs, he only used formal ones..

"Oh, God!I need to teach you slangs.."

John looked at Y/N as she drink all her alcohol, she faces him..

"Friends with benefits is a sexual relationship without the feelings and commitment.."

John felt his blood boil, he never knew that Y/N was capable of doing that.

"You did that?With him?"

"Well--Yeah.."

"Why?" John said glaring at Y/N..

She felt uneasy, this was the usual John.. Always protecting her, treating her like she was a kid.

"Well--I was reall--"

"You shouldn't do that!It--Just don't do that again.."

Y/N was getting angry as soon those words left his mouth.. He was the reason why.. He was the reason she threw herself at Alex.. He was the reason she was a blabbering mess when he retired.. She wanted to scream that in John's face..

All those days she felt alone and small, that's why she formed a relationship with Alex.. He was just a confidence booster for Y/N.

"You don't get to order me like that..It's my life and it's my goddamn decision!" She screams at John, it was full of anger and spite.

People are now staring at them, she stands up and paid the drinks she had..

"See you around, Wick.."

John knew that Y/N was mad at him, she just called him by his last name.. She never does that, again she saw Y/N walk away from him.

A part of him felt guilty, but he shakes it off and exits the hotel to carry out the mission that was given to him..

Y/N walks pass Charon, she toss some coins to him..

"Bottle of vodka.." Those were enough for the man to understand.. Y/N made her way outside, she was going to kill another enemy of the High Table..

Sighing, Y/N made her way to the apartment unit she owns.. It was already dark, she reached the door of her apartment..

Slowly opening it, she enters cautiously.. She wasn't followed but maybe someone was waiting here for her.. She grabs her gun, and scope the place but she found it empty..

Y/N enters her room and went straight to the closet.. There was some few clothes but it was just mostly guns, ammunitions and files.

She grabs a duffel bag and shove guns and grenades there, Y/N was busy packing when she hears her front door rattle it was followed by a knock.

She closed her walk in closet and hide behind a post near the front door.. She was ready to kill this person.

This could be someone after her..

Gripping her gun, she carefully walks to the door.. Taking a look at the peephole she found her neighbor who was an old woman..

She opened the door but not fully open, she hides the hand that was holding her gun in her back.

"Mrs. Kranowski!It's late, what are you doing here?" She fakes a smile and the old woman just pulled out a letter from her pockets..

"Dear, this was addressed to you but delivered to me..I got this today but since you were not here i kept it..And then i saw you entering your apartment so im giving it to you now..."

The woman gave Y/N the letter, and she gladly accepted it.

"Thank you Mrs. Kranowski.." She didn't give a chance for the old woman to talk, Y/N already closed the door, locking it in the process.

She examined the letter, it did belong to her.. Opening it, she saw a letter.. It was from her father, the leader of the Camorra crimial organization and also the member of the High Table.

Y/N is the youngest D'Antonio..

Yes, she was another D'Antonio, the youngest and most ruthless.. Their father treated her like a weapon, ordering her to kill people and doing his dirty works.. Santino was the only one who treated her like she was human..

No one even knew she was a D'Antonio, maybe it was a good thing, even John doesn't know her true identity.

She sighs as the horrible memories flooded her mind, the way her Father forced her to take advanced assassination training at a very young age.. The rigorous training that almost took her life.

The killer instinct inside her was awaken at the young age of 12.. She had no mother to protect her from the wrath of her Father.. So she had no choice but to oblied to his father orders

She starts to read the letter, her hands shaking at the crude penmanship that belonged to her father..

Dear Amore Mio,

Im sorry for the things that i put you through, i blamed you for your Mother's death but you were innocent.. I broke you, i failed you and your Mother.. I made you do horrible things, but know that i love you.. You are my little stellina, you are my cuoro mio..

The day you were born is the day of your Mother's death.. I regret not giving you a normal life, not spending time with you.. And im really sorry for making you the worst and evil version of you.. But i do know that you still have the last bit of goodness inside you, and Winston also told me about that pretty boy Wick that you love so much.. You have grown up, you have learned to love someone..

My time is running out, and you, my daughter will live a normal life, that's my last wish for you.. Your siblings will fight over my position in the High Table and i know you will be stuck in the middle of all this.. I have a last gift for you, i gave it to Winston.. I get that you trust him more than you trust me.. So i left it to the guy you trust so much..

Gianna will take over my position, but you know that Santino would not bow down that easy.. Bloods will shed and im thankful that you won't be a part of it.. Don't do anything stupid and live a normal life but i know that living like that is impossible.. I love you my little stellina..

Tears were strolling down her face, she didn't know what to do.. But she hates Winston for telling her father about John Wick.. She hugs the letter, nursing it..

This was the first time her father gave her affection, the first time her father apologized to the horrible things he did.. This was also the first time he ever mentioned Y/N's mother, and the first time he said i love you..

Y/N's phone rang making her snap out of her trance, wiping the tears in her face she stands up and looked over the caller id..

Santino..

She accepted the call and unsurely put it in her ear..

"H-Hello?" Y/N's voice was hoarsed, her brother doesn't even need to tell her, she knew that her father is dead..

"Y/N!Father is dead.."

"I-I'll be there.." Those were the words that left her mouth and immediately ended the call..

That's where she broke down, silent scream erupted from her lips.. Her soul was broken again, she was on her floor balled up like a baby..

She suddenly jolted up when she remembered her task, kill Monuira Guisa, this man was planning to elimanate a member of the High Table..

Taking off her feelings and emotions and shoving them to the pit of her stomach.. She can't mess this shit up, so she stands and wipe away the tears in her face..

She washed her face and changed clothes to a more comfortable and moveable clothes.

Grabbing the duffel bag with the ammunitions, guns and grenades.. She prepared herself, taking a deep breath she exits the apartment but before that she enabled her security system.

Locking the door, she discreetly walks away from the building and made her way to the task that was given to her..

Y/N arrives at the hiding spot her target is in, she first scope the place.. There were dozens of boduguards, which means one thing..

He knew someone was coming for him..

A viscious grin formed in her lips, she was going to blow some steam off.. She grabs gun and daggers, hiding it in her boots and jacket.

"Let's kill some motherfu--Ouch!" Y/N was starting to walk when she tripped over a rock.. Steadying and readying herself once again and started to walk..

Ready to kill..

People hide.. Death is coming..

Y/N stands in the middle of the room, she was surrounded by dead bodies courtesy by her.. Infront of her was Monuira, he was bound to a chair.. Sleeping peacefully, Y/N took a picture as another proof.. Then she bring her gun to his head and pulled the trigger..

The sound of her gun echoes through the whole room, sighing as she felt guilt run through the course of her body.

She grabs her bag from the floor and continues to exit the death scene.. No one survived, nobody was left alive..

She went straight to the street leading to the The Continental..

[honeykawa]

Fly | Route: Tanaka Ryuunosuke

genre: mafia au, choose your own adventure

warnings: violence, suggestive themes but nothing graphic

word count: 3.1k

Fly Masterlist

“I choose him”

You looked at the man who had been standing in the corner of the room with his arms crossed

“Tanaka get your ass moving and take them home. Pick them up in the morning and take them home from now on. Make sure they dont run away or itll be on your head”

“Got it boss”

The car ride to your apartment was filled with silence and the soft sound of music coming from the radio

You were too nervous to say anything

The growing feeling of anxiety in your chest made it almost hard to breath

You started to unconsciously grab at the area above your chest and your breathing became irregular

‘How did i get into this mess?’ ‘whats going to happen to me?’

These thoughts keep rushing through your head

“--hey are you okay?”

Tanaka pulled the car over so he could stop and assess just what was happening

And from the way he saw it...it looked like an anxiety attack

His panicked a little himself watching you like this he didnt even want to imagine the feelings rushing through you right now

He got you to control your breathing again and come down from your panic

“You good now?”

You nodded your head, still weary about being near this man

He could tell you were still on your guard with the way you wrapped your arms around your body, as if you were trying to make yourself smaller

“I know it seems rough right now but i swear itll be okay”

His voice was soft with you, something you didnt expect from someone in the mafia

The car ride after that went pretty smooth

“We’re here”

The ride went faster than you thought it would and you got out of his car before saying your goodbyes

“Ill pick you up in the morning...if you need me heres my card”

He held out his card to you as you slowly took it from his hands

“See you”

And with that he sped off as you went inside your apartment to go to bed, hoping that maybe this had all been a dream

Once tanaka got back to his apartment he immediately plopped himself onto his bed and covered his eyes with his arm while thoughts of you plagued his mind

‘Cute’

His arm fell down to his side and he just stared at the ceiling

“Get your shit together tanaka. Your job is to watch them, nothing more”

He rolled over to his side with thoughts of you fading as he drifted into sleep

You woke up to the sound of light knocking on your door

And as soon as you opened the door it finally set in that last night really did happen

“Are you ready to go?”

Tanaka took one look at you and let out a deep sigh knowing that you werent

“Ill give you fifteen minutes”

You nodded your head as you ran back into your room and changed into something work appropriate

Wait where were you working? What would be considered work appropriate?

Based off of what tanaka was wearing you assumed something business casual

When you came out you looked at tanaka to see if this was good enough and he just nodded his head and started walking back towards his car, opening the door for you to get in

“I talked it over with daichi and youll be working with me as my assistant”

Your eyes widened and he immediately knew what went through your mind

“No not like that! Like with actual business stuff you wont really have to do anything with the mafia”

His flailing around made you laugh a bit and lifted a weight off of your shoulders

Listening to you laugh was almost relaxing, his cheeks heating up from the mere sight of your carefree smile

He gave you a quick tour of the place and introduced you to the others if you ran into them but that was about it

As his assistant you really didnt do much

If anything it felt like he was just an over glorified babysitter

But you shuffled through the files he gave you and sorted them the way he wanted

Tanaka watched you from the corner of his eye while you both worked

It wasnt that he was worried you would do it wrong

But it was just last night that you had that anxiety attack right in front of him

“y/n do you want to go out?”

You looked up from your papers and looked at him in confusion

“Right now? And what do you mean by ‘go out’?”

A big smile appeared on his face

“Yeah right now! Lets go! And dont think too much of it”

He stood up and grabbed his wallet

You followed him and as you two rounded the corner of the block he held the door open to a small cafe

“Go ahead and order whatever you want its on me”

You were weary about being here

Would you two get in trouble for leaving like that?

Tanaka could see the worry still lingering on your face and rose his hand to gently pat your head

“Like I said its on me so dont worry about leaving the office ill take any repercussions if there are any”

The grin on his face took a weight off of your chest and you felt like the air around you wasnt so thick anymore

After getting back to the office no one had even noticed that you two had even left

Whos running this place??

The next few weeks seemed to be fine

It was almost like you lived a normal life and you werent being watched by the mafia

You and tanaka had grown closer and it was easier to talk to the others now

He treated you kindly and tried to understand your situation

Unlike the two interns who always berated you for not knowing where certain files were or would roll their eyes when you would flinch at sudden movements the first few days

But tanaka took it slow with you, doing little things so that youd be more comfortable

At first it was subtle

If you needed to go make a copy of something he’d suddenly need to go grab something from the copy room with you even if you insisted that you could get it for him

Or how he always tried to include you in conversations with others so you would get more comfortable around everyone

Tanaka grew to be someone who it was easy for you to be around

But that sense of calmness was quickly wiped away when you joined him on one of his...excursions

“Heres the case. Now give us what we want”

Tanaka held the case in front of him while you just watched from the car

Sure, he’d take you with him but he’d never let you actually get out

He didnt really want this to take too long

Especially since it was just him against a good handful of men

But the men he was making the trade deal with suddenly saw you in move in the car and locked eyes with you

His smile sent a chill down your spine formed on his face

“New deal: give me that hot piece of ass in the car and you have a deal”

Tanakas jaw clenched at the the disgusting words just said about you

“Im sorry but,”

You couldnt see tanakas face until he looked up at the man in front of him

The look on his face utterly terrified you

“I’ll kill you if you even try to put a hand on them”

Everyone stood there unmoving, too scared to move

Tanaka turned around and headed back to the car where you were

“Deals off if that wasnt clear”

But one of the other men moved towards him

“The fuck you mean its off!”

Tanaka easily evaded the man’s advance and took him down with only a quick few movements

“Anyone else want to try”

The question was simple enough but no one dared made eye contact with him as he got into the car and drove off

The car ride was quiet, youd never seen tanaka look like that before

It scared you

He scared you

Tanaka noticed your silence and reached a hand out to pat your head but his chest went heavy at the sight of you flinching

“Y/n?”

You knew he wouldnt hurt you but you couldnt stop the slight tremble

“Im sorry tanaka”

A weak smile appeared on his face

“It’s fine y/n. i’ll take you home, okay?”

You just nod your head and neither of you talk the rest of the ride

A few days go by and you can feel the distance between you and tanaka growing

Its so noticeable that the others in the office can feel the awkwardness between the two of you

Tanaka suddenly stood up from his seat which startled you but he quickly rose his hands

“Woah sorry didnt mean to scare you”

He said it with such a sad smile on his face that it almost hurt to even look at him

“Ill be back in a moment, gotta use the bathroom”

You nodded your head as he left and let out a sigh

You knew he was just doing business

This was his job

It just shocked you to see the man thats been so kind to you to look...like that

Tanaka on the other hand knew this would happen eventually

He washed his face in the sink and looked up at his reflection

‘Remember your place. They deserve better’

He wiped off his face before heading back to his office only to see you not there

His heart just drop not seeing you there

“y/n?!”

He was about to bolt out of there but as soon as he turned around he bumped right into you

You fell onto the ground and the papers you were holding scattered around everywhere

You both just looked at each other for a moment

“Tanaka--”

Before you could say anymore he scooped you into his arms and you could feel the slight tremble in his shoulders before he quickly pulled away once he realized what he was doing

“Sorry y/n i dont know what came over me”

He started help to pick up the papers you dropped but before he could get too far you pulled him into a hug

He was frozen on the spot at feeling your touch

The warmth from your hands made his heart beat erratically

“Im sorry tanaka”

Your arms tightened around him

Youd seen so many sides of him

How clumsy he was

How kind he could be

Youve also seen how scary he could be and honestly it still shocked you

But you want to believe in him

The him thats been nothing but gentle with you

You could hear him let out a shaky breath before pulling you into his chest

After that your relationship with tanaka went back to normal

Or at least as normal as it could have been

Ever since that day youve started to notice how your heart speeds up whenever you look at him

Or the butterflies in your stomach when he smiles at you

He was careful to not let you see the mafia side of things anymore

You appreciate the thought but youd be lying if you said it didnt worry you when he came to work bandaged or bruised

Today was one of those days where tanaka had picked you up with some visible injuries

The cut on his face looked fairly fresh and without realizing it you reached up and gently ran your thumb over it

“Um what are you doing y/n”

Not that tanaka hated this

He felt his heart flutter at your touch

“You know, i dont mind helping you if you need it”

He smiled and took your hand off of his face

“Thank you y/n but im fine”

Just knowing that you cared was enough for him

‘I love you’

They were words he couldnt say

But he knew this life wasnt for you and he couldnt force you to come live in it

A few weeks go by and you feel like every time you get close to him he pulls back to just keep it barely within the realm of just friends

But that was fine as long as you could stay near

It was another one of those days where tanaka was off doing mafia business so noya kept you company

He always had his guard up but he seemed to take a liking to you

“Do you like tanaka”

The question caught you so off guard you dropped your pen

You looked up at him

“Is it that obvious?”

Noya kept working on whatever was in front of him not even sparing you a glance

“Painfully”

You could feel your embarrassment rising

“But if it makes you feel any better i think he likes you too so promise me...make him happy”

Before you could say anything back noyas phone went off and he immediately answered

His eyes went wide and his head whipped towards you before hanging up and dragging you somewhere

“Noya! Where are we going?”

He rushed you into a car and he took the wheel before driving off to who knows where

“Where are we?”

He got out of the car and opened your door

You were at an apartment complex from the look of it

“We’re at tanakas apartment hurry up”

You immediately got out and followed after him and you almost felt your legs give out seeing the state tanaka was in

Bloody and battered

Hinata was sitting next to his bed with his arms crossed

“Idiot rushed in despite not having a gun”

Noya rolled his eyes

“You know he doesnt like carrying one whyd you let him go alone?”

“Not my fault he didnt stop to think”

They kept talking to each other and went into the other room leaving you both alone

His breathing seemed stable as he slept but tears escaped your eyes as you took a seat next to him

Noya left you with tanaka and told you to take care of him

“He’ll try to tell you hes okay. Dont listen to him hes a fucking liar so take good care of him for me”

It was funny but it almost sounded like a goodbye

Tanaka woke up later that night only to see you sitting next to him with tear stains on your cheeks

The thought of you shedding tears because of him both hurt and warmed his heart

He reached up to wipe your face despite the pain he felt

Your cheeks fit perfectly within his hand and he found it cute how you leaned into his touch subconsciously

He couldnt move much but this is all he needed

You woke up before he did that next morning and decided to make some breakfast for the both of you

When you came back in he was just waking up

“Good morning tanaka”

The smile on your face as the sunlight trickled in through the window made him feel at ease

This...this was the life he longed for

“Morning”

He tried to sit up but flinched while doing so

You rushed to his side and set the food down before helping him up

“Dont push yourself. Youre still pretty banged up”

You changed his bandages for him every evening after that

“I can do this myself you know”

He said it with a light laugh

He was starting to get back on his feet and regained most of his movement and strength

“I know but...id like it if you would rely on me just a bit more. I know i cant do much but i can do this”

He didnt say anything back to you after that

In all honesty he didnt want to do it himself

Every time your hand even brushed over his skin it felt like he was on fire

Even the scars that have long since healed throbbed at your touch

His heart beat so hard against his chest that he was afraid that you could hear it

“There all done! Hope that wasnt too bad”

‘Dont smile at me’

‘Youre far too precious’

‘I dont know what ill do if you look at me like that’

He really was planning to let you go, he was fine with just keeping you at an arms length away but now he knew he was in too deep

You got up to put the first aid kit away but he quickly pulled you into his bed with him and he held you tight against his chest

His face was buried into the crook of your neck

He didnt know what he wanted anymore

He wanted to keep you safe but he couldnt guarantee that with him being in the mafia

He hated it

This life wasnt the one he wanted anymore

The life he wanted was with you

Slowly, he rose his head to look at you

“Run away with me y/n”

Your eyes widened in pure shock

“What...what did you just say?”

You couldnt believe what he just said

His eyes were serious though

“Run away with me. I dont want this life anymore. I want to give you the life you deserve. One filled with happiness and laughter where you dont have to worry about things like if ill come home the next day or not. One where you arent targeted. I love you y/n. I love you so much so please, run away with me or so help me god ill just take you”

He held you so tight that it felt like he might break at any sudden movement

You wrapped your arms around him and held him gently against you so you wouldnt hurt any of his wounds

“Then take me away”

That was all tanaka needed to let go of any reservations that were holding him back up

He kissed you with everything hes been bottling up until this moment

Your lungs burned as pulled away, both out of breath but hungry for more

“I hope you know Im not letting you go. Youre stuck with me now”

You laughed and kissed his forehead

“I wouldnt have it any other way”

That night was spent in each others arms, both of you longing for the others touch and neither of you wanting to be apart for even a second

Noya visited the apartment a few days later only to be met with complete silence

A knowing smile appeared on his face as he shook his head

He knew wherever you two were you were both happy

Because he knew you would keep your promise to him

[yesimwriting]

Anastasia (prologue)

A/n ive been talking about my Anastasia x SOC story for awhile and im finally ready to post the prequel,, ive also been working on some requests and thinking about my next multi-part fic (ive made some posts about it lol)

things to know before reading: i tend to like to make up my own countries when writing these type of politically/plot driven fics that revolve around a royal family bc i think it makes it not only easier to write but less confusing bc it takes out the issue of potentially conflicting with canon, so i made up the country ‘Anastasia’ is from,, this also follows the musical Anastasia a little more bc i feel like that version of the story is more mature and easier to write for SOC (the only difference is that not everyone is happy that Anastasia is alive and someone tries to kill her bc they hate the royal family)

Series Summary: y/n makes an unconventional deal with Kaz to save the life of her best friend. No one’s ever made a deal with the infamous Dirtyhands that resulted in them shedding the title of orphan from a revolution-torn country that can’t remember her life before the orphanage and taking on the title of Princess Anastasia. As time progresses, things are made more complicated as y/n has to deal with royals, revolutionaries, a grisha general who has a lot to gain from an alliance with a princess that doesn’t know what she’s doing, and potential feelings for a conflicted Kaz Brekker that has more to do with Anastasia’s disappearance than he’s ever admitted. 

--

The world seems to be made up impossible things. Each day, people defy odds, strangers fall in love, the universe expands, and the Saints watch it all. I am not the kind of person to sneer at a miracle, to try to explain it away instead of acknowledging it for what it is. 

But what this stranger is proposing is laughable. 

I lean more into the chair, doing all I can to get away from the desk that he sits at. A nervous kind of giggle threatens to escape me, a laugh at the expense of the foolishness of the situation. If his demeanor was any less brooding, I would have already laughed at the irony. Kaz Brekker, the Dirtyhands, creating a ploy so colored by the fairytale notions of dreamers.

The longer I go without reacting, the worse this situation becomes. I haven’t seen Verne since Brekker and his people separated us. I can see the world of torment my eldest friend must be experiencing at this very moment while I sit at this desk. 

“Me?” I’m the most ridiculous part of his plan. He said the only reason me and my partner are still alive is because I fit the general description of the kind of person he needs, and if I’m blackmailed into it he won’t need to waste kruge paying me. “A princess?” 

He blinks, as uninterested and stoic as he’s been since he first ordered me into his office. “A pretend one,” his correction feels like a slight, “a surrogate one.” 

My eyebrows furrow together. “But what--I know the odds of the real Anastasia coming back are beyond slim, but if we’re caught in a lie the Dowager Duchess of Avila will have all of us killed. She may be in Ravka now, and her title nothing more than decorative due to the revolution, but she still has people loyal to her.” 

“Anastasia can’t come back.” The graveness of his voice is so certain a part of me has to wonder if he could have anything to do with her death. I dismiss the thought almost immediately, I don’t know his exact age, but he doesn’t look much older than me. He couldn’t have been more than two or three years older than Anastasia when she died, and she was a child at the time. “No one remains missing that long unless they’re dead.” 

I awkwardly scratch the back of my wrist, “You’re the expert here.” No--I did not just say that out loud. “Sorry--I didn’t mean to say that out loud. Not that thinking it makes it any better, but at least then you wouldn’t know and I’d seem like less of an idiot and I wouldn’t be talking about it right now, and just rambling at a really inconvenient time for me to just...” I cringe slightly, opting to stare at his desk instead of meeting his judgmental gaze. “Sorry, again. Normally Verne is here, and he just kicks me in the shin or something to shut me up.” 

“If you’d like to see what apparently is your only source of impulse control alive and in decent enough condition to kick anything ever again, you’ll agree to what I’m proposing.” 

I straighten my posture slightly, nerves and guilt twisting in my stomach. “I’m going to be as transparent as physically possible.” The warning is for both of us, the urge to hide all my weaknesses bubbling in my chest. “Mr. Brekker.” That’s awkward--what am I supposed to call him? “I’m a university student that’s only in Ketterdam because of an academic scholarship. I’m from somewhere average--I’m not from a place nice enough to give me the manners I’d need to pass as a girl who spent her fundamental years growing up in luxury and I’m not from a place grimy enough to make me a quick enough liar to make up for what I don’t know.” I inhale slowly, ignoring the sting of the flaws I laid out for a cruel stranger. “I’m not particularly graceful or sly or talented in any field that someone like you would value. The closest thing I have to talent involves things that can be tracked on paper. I wasn’t even supposed to be here tonight, I was just doing a friend a favor.” 

“You claim that you’re not a decent liar or a thief and yet your closest friend is one who believed himself talented enough to challenge me?” 

I resist the urge to shrink back into my seat. “This is Ketterdam, you try finding someone that doesn’t dabble in crime and ambition.” He does’t reply to my retort, which I think means I won. “Cards on the table, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to save Verne, but you don’t want me for something like this.” 

He pauses, jaw locked and eyes too stony for me to interpret. “Every flaw you just pointed out, every reason you think makes you unfit for this job, is exactly the reason I’m offering you this.” I keep a thousand questions to myself as I wait for him to continue. “Those used to lying lack the warmth that will be needed to sell this. The Dowager Duchess is a grandmother first when it comes to Anastasia, that’s why she’s offering so much gold. She, and the rest of the royals that desire to know what happened to Anastasia, want to believe the story I’m telling. If you present yourself as someone real and warm and you understand table manners enough to not disturb the serene picture they want, they’ll squint at ugly details until they disappear.” 

Wow. I know that he’s intelligent, but what he’s constructing is so much more bullet proof than I thought it’d be. “I’ll admit you’ve constructed an airtight narrative.” 

I know my approval means nothing to him, but it’s the most agreeable I’m willing to be. “A narrative the background you told me of fits perfectly.” I shouldn’t have answered all those questions he asked me earlier so honestly. “A child born in Avila who was sent to a Kerch orphanage due to a war-relief effort during the revolution. A faceless orphan who was found during the height of the revolution with no memory of anything before the morning she woke up in a hospital cot.” 

I say nothing. My skin burns in protest of someone knowing so much about me. He must take my silence as a sign of me teetering the line away from what he wants, because he then says, “your friend is fortunate, if things aligned a little less perfectly he’d be dead already.” 

Dead already. The words elate my heart in a way that pinches. He’s still alive. Verne is alive. “If I agree, you let me see him and then you let him go.” 

“If you need a contract to believe me, I can have that arranged.” The words have an almost mocking edge. I guess it’d be a little ridiculous to get an official contract drawn up for something so small. “If you at any point change your mind, I’ll do the same.” 

The threat is clear. I back out and Verne pays for it in blood. Verne’s safety is once again in my hand. This situation is much more precarious than Kaz Brekker wants it to seem. “You need me to do something that will literally last the rest of my life. Tiaras aren’t something you can slip in and out of.” 

“Yes, I’m forcing you to give up a life in the slums for a palace for your friend’s life. This must be a difficult choice for you.” 

I look down to avoid rolling my eyes. “It’s still permanent, and it’s large because at any point I could reveal the truth and take you down with me.” 

“Remember who you speak to.” His voice has turned to pure darkness. 

Don’t wince. Don’t wince. Don’t wince. “All I’m saying is that you’ve offered Verne’s life to buy my cooperation, but you have yet to mention the cost of my silence.”

His expression is sharp enough to draw blood. “The Dowager Duchess is old and sick, wait at most two years and you’ll have more gold than you could ever spend. The revolution took that family’s power, not the wealth the Duchess took with her to Ravka the night of the massacre.” 

I shift awkwardly. “I’m not trying to get kruge from you for me.” I fold my hands neatly on my lap to avoid fidgeting. “Verne--he’s beyond desperate for kruge, that’s why he risked angering you.” The urge to shy away threatens to break my resolve. I think of all the times Verne has saved me. “Let him keep what he tried to take.” The request is awkward from my lips. I’m asking for more when I should should be grateful any type of mercy came from him. Any type of offer. “Half. Let him keep half.” 

He’s silent for a long moment, weighing the implications of loss. “You’re already entitled enough to pass for royalty.” I don’t let myself shrink. “Deal, but not because you threatened me--try that again and you’ll find yourself wishing you had never left the orphanage you came from.” The relief is practically crushing. Verne is going to be okay. He’s going to live and my resistance earned him enough kruge to have a week or two without worry as he plans what he’ll do in my absence. “You better be as good a study as you made yourself seem to be.” 

I don’t understand the second threat. “Studying?” 

“You didn’t think you could wander into the Dowager Duchess’s home, use the excuse of amnesia to explain why you don’t even know your own mother’s name, and expect them to think you more than an Avilan orphan with a desire for wealth.” 

“I actually don’t know my own mother’s name because of amnesia.” 

He’s in no mood to be contradicted, glowering sharply, “not anymore, anything that doesn’t fit the narrative I’m constructing is no longer true.” He straightens slightly as he begins to pace away from me. “You’ll have five minutes with your friend and then we’ll see where your table manners are at. I know someone who knows enough to correct you.” 

I try to picture where someone like him would meet someone that knows about etiquette. My mind provides nothing useful, but it doesn’t matter--I’ve agreed. It can’t be undone, not without having the blood of my dearest friend on my hands. 

[thesolotomyhan]

Narcos México/Narcos: Dating them would include: (6/7)

real quickly mis amores! I know everyone on this fandom is in love with this king, the man, the myth, and the legend Pacho mf Herrera, so I tried my best to keep gender neutral -I know I’m really bad at that, im sorry! :( I might’ve slipped up on the NSFW part, forgive me, but I hope I did alright, enjoy! :)) 

Also, I want to thank the lovely queen @cheriehyuck for giving me inspiration on this, sorry to bother you💖 I luv u💫

Tags: ​@fandomnerd16 , @visintaes​ , @sheeshgivemeabreak​

Warnings: NSFW!

dating Pacho would be so passionate and so full of intense love, it makes my heart hurt

Su vida no está completa sin ti :(

You can’t convince me otherwise that he’s a softy for his partner, he’s able to let his guard down-

Whenever you’re not with him, he can be the most serious mf there is, he’ll be constantly clenching his jaw and  carrying a scowl on his face,,,

But, when you are with him, he’s smiling nonstop with the biggest fucking heart eyes -he’s whipped , no one can make him feel that way other than you-

There is never a dull moment with him,, he’s always making you laugh with the things he’ll whisper into your ear

Can you imagine him doing this shit in front of Miguel Angel tho?

Like the way he’ll hug you and whisper to you as he stares down Miguel, who’s already scared shitless with your appearances

It only makes Felix sweat even more when he sees you laugh as Pacho smiles down at you and back to Miguel, -

He always has his hands resting on your waist as he walks around with you with the smugest look on his face,,,

God, he doesn’t even have to introduce you to anyone because they already know who you are, like they’re already getting up to kiss your cheek and welcome you both- the power*

He’s so soft for you,  anything you need or want, he’s doing it for you with the smallest smile, no questions asked 

Like, you’ll both be at a party and then you’ll mention that you want a drink from the bar and he’s getting up so fast, he almost knocks over the whole fucking table to get you your drink

I can see Chepe roasting the shit out of Pacho for that, like

“Hijueputa, Pacho, con calma, no se va ir la cantina”

Then like Gilberto’s wise ass is cutting in like,

“Chepe, pues, son pajaritos enamorados, dejenlos, tu ya pasaste por eso”

He would get so much shit for the things he’s willing to do for you,  but if it makes you happy, then you best believe he’ll do it again.

And honestly the Cali cartel live for seeing how you just have to snap your fingers and Pacho’s already moving,

God, they listen like chismosos when you talk about your and Pacho’s relationship, they’re invested, -

Pacho is a fashion icon ™,,, so you best believe he has the best, top of the line outfits for you, :))

Taking you out for dates is one of his favorite things to do honestly,,

He’s making sure you enjoy everything he has to offer and is always surprising you with the most elegant gifts and surprises porque el amor de su vida se lo merece

God, can you imagine him bringing live musica to your dates so he can dance with you,

“Bailamos, mi amor?” -the way he’ll smile at you as he extends his hand out to you is everything

Speaking of,,, dancing dates! :D

At all hours of the day, he’s always down to take you dancing

You two are the shining stars at parties/clubs because wow- the way your bodies just turn into one with your perfect moves -

You’ll have everyone drooling at just how phenomenal you both look together, especially with the way you both look at each other, like it’s only the two of you in the room-

Pacho loves taking you on luxurious vacations, he’s all about that,, nothing beats the feeling of just getting you all to himself on a beautiful landscape, far away from Cali and business,

*Protective Pacho*,, holy shit would he take your security seriously

If someone even looks at you wrong, he’s not letting them breathe for another second longer

I can’t even imagine how protective he gets after Gilberto’s daughters wedding incident 

The world fucking stops as he walks up to your crying form,,

The way he’ll cradle your head into his neck and hug you-

“No llores, mi vida, estamos bien” - literally shaking in anger that someone almost hurt you and took you from him-

ok can you imagine the way you’ll try to stay up for him when he’s away for dirty business, making sure he came home in one piece,,

The preocupacion he has when he sees you’re still awake, “amor, que haces todavía despierta/o?”

Fuck, the way you’ll both hold eachother has me shaking,- you’ll be holding his face, making sure he isn’t hurt

As he has his hands resting on top of yours

“Estoy bien, amor” -let me go sob

But the times you accidentally do fall asleep, he’ll come up to you and softly kiss your forehead as he carefully settles in beside you- I can’t

Pacho buying you a home for the both of you-

Idk, he just wants to express how he never wants to live without you, he wants to come home to you everyday,, 🥺

I definitely see him just spacing off when he watches you, like when you’re getting ready for bed and he’s already waiting for you to come to lay next to him,,,

You feel him staring as you look over your shoulder and smile at him,,, again the softness

“Te vez magnifica/o”

The small smile he has as he pulls you on top of him- i need to stop

NSFW:

Helmer ‘Pacho’ Herrera, a fucking sex icon, here we go

I have so many scenarios, so bear with me,,

He’s not one to ever turn down a blowjob, like, wow, you his innocent flower, choking on his cock, is a sight that will never leave his memory,, 

To be honest, I can see him relaxing out on the balcony or something, with a drink in his hand,, breathing out a content sigh as he looks down at you, gagging on him as he slowly thrusts into your mouth-

Moving your hair out of your face as he smirks at you,,

“Eso, mi amor, asi me gusta que estes” -ok

The eye contact is what’s making me weak, your watery eyes locking with his dilated ones as his thrusts become more rough,,,-

GOD, does this man make sex so fucking passionate

Like, you’ll be desperately trying to take his clothes off, as he just laughs and continues to kiss you, not bothering to take your clothes off yet,,

I just know he’s taking his damn time when he gets you on the bed,slowly taking off your clothes, caressing your whole body, making you lose all your patience as your practically begging him to just fuck you, tears of frustration coming out when he stops your hips from moving,,

“Dime cuanto me necesitas, mi vida, y ya te lo meto” I-

He’s not doing anything until he has you babbling and whimpering about how much you need him-

The way he’ll harshly grip your hip as he brings your leg to wrap around his waist and places his hand around your throat when he pushes into you-

ok so I don’t see Pacho as a “love making” type, nope, I see him going in rough with no time to adjust, the lust is just too overpowering

He has you whining from how fast but so good his rough pace is making you feel-

“No que me necesitabas? No hagas eso, no llores, te estoy cuidando, mi amor”

as he’s reaching in between your bodies to stimulate you even more- oh god

He’ll get lost in the feeling of you moaning his name and leaving marks on his back as he mercilessly pounds into you

Fuck, or the way he’ll pull you by your hair when you bite down on his shoulder,, as he hastily kisses you, drowning out your moans-

Another thing that really gets him going is when he grabs both of your hands and holds them above your head with one on his hands as he pounds you into the bed-

The way you’ll arch into him because you just need to feel more of him,,

Riding Pacho- h o ly shit,,

he loves seeing how you’ll try to urgently get yourself off on top of him,

he’ll let you do all the work as he sits there and caresses your body, smirking at how your bounces become more desperate

the chuckle he lets out when your movements falter and begin to grind your hips on his instead as you  grip his hand like an anchor

“pensé que dijiste que podrías aguantar, sigue adelante, amor, sé que puedes "

As he pulls your body closer and drags his thumb to stimulate your clit,,, he’ll thrust up into you as you wrap your arms around his shoulders to steady yourself -wow

This man has no vergüenza  , he’s fucking you out in the patio or balcony where he just knows at any minute his servants can see you,, someone kick me out 

He’s had you wear only his fancy shirts at times because he lives and breathes for the sight of that,,,

I’m sorry, but he gets rock hard when he sees you walking around in his things-

Ok, so you all know that scene when he called Miguel about his cocaine shipment being ready as he revved up his motorcycle- hot

Can you imagine, instead of that, this mf would call Miguel in the middle of having you screaming his name absurdly loud-

He would have his fingers inside of you as he stares at how your trying to silently thrash on his bed, gripping his wrist, as he just talks normally to Miguel about how his 70 tons are ready,,,

He’ll curl his fingers just  to have you scream his name as he lightly chuckles-

the uncomfortness from Miguel’s end has Pacho smugly saying,

"¿qué ?, vos nunca tuviste a alguien gritando tu nombre por el placer que le das, Miguelito?” -ok

Morning Sex is thinggg

Like, it’s the best way to start the morning with you moaning out his name with the view of the hacienda through the ‘window’

You two were already naked from last night, so why not take advantage of that,,

god, can you imagine the both of you laying on your sides, facing the window, where you can barely see your reflection,,

he’s resting your leg on his inner elbow, slowly thrusting from behind you, kissing your neck,,

“Buenos dias amor, como dormistes? Hm”

His hand is traveling between your legs to help get you off quicker

he just admires how your moaning out his name, letting your head fall back on him,,

- he’ll be gradually picking up the speed of his thrusts and hand as he forces you to look at him, wanting to see how you fall apart- i need help

[zmayadw]

Evening to all :)

All right, so I finaly did it, the last chapter of my original story is finaly done :) It took me a while, what with the episode 8 being released at that time, and with some other stuff I wrote in the between then and now, but it is done. Well, one more part is left, basicly like an epilogue, wich will be posted in a couple of days, too, but the story itself ends with this one.

Anyway, enjoy, and I wish you all a nice evening :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 26

Jakes POV

„How is she?“ I asked Jessy as I entered the room. She got her head up from the book she was reading to look at me. „Still the same.“ She said. I sighed, walking to her bed. I took her hand, placing a soft kiss on her wrist. „The doctor was here earlier.“ Jessy informed me. „He said she is doing fine, that there's not any medical reason to be worried about.“ I just stared at her sleeping face. „Then why won't she wake up, Jessy?“ I asked her desperatly. „She will, Jake.“ she said to me, and I turned arround facing her. She smiled at me „When she's ready.“ Four days passed since they operated on her, and I was worried. Maybe Jessy was right, but her words didn't bring me any peace. She collected her stuff, and came to me. „Call me if you need anything. And if there's any change.“ She said hugging me. „Thanks, I will.“ I said, Jessy smiling once more at me before leaving. With Jessy gone, I moved myself lying next to her, leaning my forehead on the side of her head. „Please, Maya, you have to wake up.“ I whispered to her ear „ I can't do this alone, I need you with me.“

I felt a hand on my shoulder and flinched, turning my head. That nice nurse from before was smiling at me „Sorry, dear, didn't mean to fright you.“ I must have dozed off. „It's fine“ I said. „Is something wrong?“ I asked alarmed, and she smiled again „No, dear. I just need to change some things, so I have to ask you to leave for a while.“ I turned my head back to Maya, she looked so peaceful. „Dont worry, dear“ the nurse said „I'll take good care of her, just like I did before.“ I turned my look back to her. She smiled so heartedly at me, I got a feeling she had a special liking for Maya. And she did stick up for me when they brought Maya in here, and I refused to leave her and was almost dragged out by security. So I felt at peace to leave Maya with her. „Ofcourse, I'll let you do your thing.“ I said, getting up from the bed. I got to the doors when I turned back to her. „I'm sorry, but I don't know your name.“ I said and the nurse looked at me „It's Doris. Why do you ask, dear?“ „So I can properly thank you.“ I said. „So, thank you, Doris, for everything.“ She smiled wide at me „Oh, dear, you're sweet, and I knew I was right about you, but no need to thank me, really.“ She said and winked at me. I smiled back at her a bit confused before leaving the room.

I went outside, getting coffee and just sat at the bench in front of the hospital. I hated being here again. And seeing her back at that bed once more made me angry. And scared. More scared than the last time. All this uncertainty was driving me insane. If everything is fine like the doctor said, why isn't she awake yet? I was deep into my thoughts, that it took me a while to notice my phone was ringing. „Hey, Hannah.“ I answered the call. „Hi, Jake. How is she? Any change?“ she asked. I sighed „Nothing yet.“ „I'm sure everything will be fine soon, she's a fighter.“ She said reasuringly to me. „I hope so.“ I said. „I don't need to ask how you are“ she said „I can hear it in your voice. Did you eat anything today?“ I could hear the worry in her voice for me, and I could have easily lied, but she would know. „Not yet, I will later.“ „Jake, you can't do that to yourself.“ She said „And I won't let you. I'll be there in 10, and I'm taking you for lunch.“ „Hannah, that's nice of you, but rea...“ she didnt let me finish. „Stop it, I don't want to hear it!“ She almost yelled at me, and it made me smile. She really was worried for me, just like a sister would be. I was still geting used to that, of being someones brother. „All right, Hannah, I'll be waiting for you outside.“ „Good.“ She said „And besides, there is something I want to talk to you about anyway. Allrighty, see you in a while.“ „See you, Hannah.“ I said ending the call. I got up from the bench, taking the last sip of my coffe, heading out from the hospital area to meet with her.

The lunch with Hannah passed mostly with her talking and me thoughtfully nodding and saying a few words. She tried hard to lift my spirit up at least a little, and I was grateful to her, but only one thing could pull me back to normal now. „Just think about my proposal. I know you're worried about Maya, we all are, but just think about it, ok?“ Hannah said to me as she drove me back to the hospital. „Yeah, I will.“ I said back to her. She hugged me tight „Hang in there, and call if you need anything.“ „Thanks, Hannah.“ I said hugging her back before leaving the car. Walking back inside the hospital, I did think about Hannahs proposal. She was moving in with Thomas, and she wanted to leave her apartment to me. Wich wasn't a bad idea, actually. I liked the apartment, and besides, when Maya gets out of hospital, she would be more comfortable there than at the motel. And that one room has a nice big window, she would love all that natural light for her drawing. I chuckled to myself at my thoughts. Not im my wildest dreams was I expecting to be thinking of something like this, ever. But she changed me so much, she gave me hope again. She made it so that I felt like I finaly found my quiet place in all this chaos. She was the missing link I was looking for all this time. She became my everything. I entered her room with a smile for the first time after days. And I froze. Her bed was empty. It felt like my heart actually stopped beating for a moment, panic hitting at me like a truck. What happened? I was gone for a few hours, she was fine, what the fuck happened?! „Jake?“ I swallowed hard, turning my head to the sound of my name being called. My eyes swelled with tears, as hers locked with mine. In a few quick steps I came to her, carefully embracing her in a hug, burying my face to her neck. „Don't you ever scare me like this again.“ I said, unsuccessfully hiding my sobs. „I don't think my heart could take it.“ She released me from a hug, her eyes also full of tears. She rested her palm on my cheek, and I closed my eyes taking a deep breath, relieved to feel her touch again. „I knew you wouldn't leave me, that you'd come back to me.“ I said opening my eyes. She smiled at me, her voice raspy „I could never leave you. Nothing can keep me away from you.“ She kissed me then, the kiss salty from out tears. Doris sighed next to us „Oh, the young love..what a beautiful thing it is.“

Doris and me helped her back to bed and she tapped with her hand beside her for me to join. I got next to her and she rested her head on my chest. „How you feeling, angle?“ I asked her. „Tired“ she said „And in pain.“ „Don't worry, hun“ Doris said „I gave you some 'good stuff' now, it will help.“ „Thanks, Doris.“ She said with a weak smile, Doris winking at her before leaving the room. She stirred a bit, making herselff more comfortable „You won't leave, right?“ she said to me sleepily, the meds Doris gave her starting to work. „Ofcourse not“ I said, kissing the top of her head „You just rest, angel, I'll be right here when you wake up.“ She smiled and fell asleep instantly. I just stared through the window, the feeling of her steady breathing relaxing me. I felt my eyes getting heavier, and before I knew it, I too fell asleep.

Mayas POV

It was early in the morning when I woke up. I felt a bit better, but was still in a lot of pain. Jake was still sleeping. And even asleep, he looked tired, the rings under his eyes showing again. Doris entered the room, smiling at me. „Good morning, hun.“ She wispered to me as she came next to the bed checking on my IV. „'Morning.“ I said smiling back at her. She glanced at Jake „I was right about him after all.“ She said and winked at me. I chuckled silently „You sure wer, Doris.“ „Well, rest some more, hun. I'll be back shortly with your breakfast.“ She said, smiling at me again leaving the room. „What was that about?“ I turned my head, Jake looking at me sleepily.“It's not nice to eavesdrop.“ I grinned at him. „It was kinda hard not to.“ He said raising his eyebrow at me. I laughed „All right, you got a point there.“ He smiled at me, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. „It's good to see you laughing again.“ He got serious then „I'm sorry, angel.“ „What for?“ I asked. „For not being there with you.“ he said and sighed „I shouldn't have left you alone. I've let you down again.“ „Hey, that's not true.“ I said „I basicly forced you to leave, so if anyone is to be blamed, it's me then.“ „Even so, but I wasn't there.“ He said. „Jake“ I said softly, and he looked at me „Don't do this to yourself. It's not your fault this happened.“ I could see he was troubled with this. „Who is to say that the same thing wouldn't happen even if you were there?“ I asked him. „I can't, so please, don't torture yourself with 'what if's'. It happened, and I just want to move on, leave it all behind, now that it's finally over.“ He just looked at me „I don't know how you can so easily just move on.“ I sighed „Because, I don't want for it to take over my life. I want to focus on good things ahead of me, not dwell in the past.“ I placed my palm on his face and smiled at him „I want to focus on us.“ He kissed me softly, when Doris voice came from the door „Listen to her, dear, she speaks wisely.“ She said, winking at us. „She sure does, Doris.“ He said, not taking his eyes off me. She came to the bed bringing the food tray. „Now, lets get some food in you, hun. You will need it to get better.“ She said. Jake helped me to sit up, leaning on the pillow, Doris placing the tray in front of us. „I brought some extra, so there is enough for both of you.“ she said and winked at us, before leaving the room. „She sure likes you.“ he said to me as she left. I grinned at him „What to say, I'm just so darn adorable.“ He shook his head at me „And still impossible.“ I grinned even more „Even so, you still love me.“ He looked dreamily at me and smiled „More then you can imagine.“

The rest of my days in hospital passed fast. Jake was mostly with me, making sure to leave me with some kind of entertaintment when he left, either to help with Hannahs moving or for something else. He brought me his laptop, since mine got broken, with bunch of downloaded movies and books on it. Jessy also came to see me as often as she could. I was grateful for everything, but at some point all I wanted was some peace and quiet.

„Are you sure you don't want me to call Jessy to come?“ Jake asked me once more before leaving. „I'm sure“ I said „Don't worry, and don't get me wrong, but some alone time will be nice.“ „Humf, fine.“ He said „But call me if you get bored or anything and I'll be back right away.“ „I will.“ I said and smiled. He kissed me before heading for the doors. „See you soon, angel.“

With Jake gone, the room was quiet again, which was relaxing. I closed my eyes just apprieciating the silence, trying to get some sleep. But the nightmare was back. The images of what happened haunted my dreams repeatedly. Jake noticed it too, but I dismissed his worry quickly every time. He tried convincing me to talk about it with someone, anyone, even if it wasnt him, but I always said I'm fine, that it's not necessary. But he was right after all. I should.

With a sigh, I turned on the side staring through the windown, when a knock came from the doors. I turned, and laughed. A cute teddy bear holding a heart with 'Get well soon!' written on it was smiling at me from the door frame. The person holding it peeped his head behind it and grinned „Hello, gorgeous.“ „Hey, Phil.“ I smiled at him „I was worried you forgot about me.“ I said. He was the only one that hasn't visited me, at least till now. „That could never happen, gorgeous.“ He said walking over to me. „I just...waited for the right moment to come.“ He grinned sitting on the bed next to me. I laughed „So, Jessy informed you it's safe to come now, huh?“ I said raising my eyebrow at him. He grinned even more „Something like that.“ I shook my head „Well, I'm glad you came.“

„You know, my job offer still stands, gorgeous. I would still very much like you to do it.“ Phil said to me after a while. I chuckled „Can I at least get out of this place first? Then we can discuss it further.“ „Ofcours. I just wanted to let you know the offer still stands.“ He grinned devilishly and winked „Just so you don't forget about it.“ I laughed „Oh, don't worry, I never forget about the jobs being offered to me.“ „Good.“ He said and winked again. „Anyway, gorgeous, unfortunately I have to go now. Some of us don't have the luxury to lay in bed all day.“ He said getting up and grinning at me. He stood there for a moment, his face getting serious. He leaned then, embracing me in tight hug „I'm glad you're back with us, gorgeous.“ He said to my ear and kissed me on the cheek before moving from me. I smiled „Me too, Phil, me too.“ I took the teddy and grinned „And thank's for this guy.“ He grinned back „No worries, gorgeous.“ „Hello there.“ A voice sounded at the doors. Phil raised his eyebrow looking at me „Now it really is time I go.“ He smiled once more at me „Take care, gorgeous. See you soon.“ He turned and nodde at the person entering the room „Loverboy.“ Jake did the same walking towards my bed, looking extremely calm, and I was surprised. As they passed eachother, Phil stopped „Hey, loverboy?“ Jake turned to him and Phil's fist colided with his face, sending him to the floor. „Phil!“ I jumped in my bed, wincing instantly from the pain. Phil didn't even spare me a glance, he just leaned down closer to Jake „I told you to take care of her.“ Jake just looked at him, not trying to do anything. Doris bursted to the room „Phil Hawkins!“ she yelled „How dare you come to 'my house' and make a mess?!“ The two just continued to look at eachother, when Phil finaly straightened and turned to Doris with the most wide smile „Sorry, Doris.“ He said walking towards her „I owed him that.“ He gave her a quick peck on the cheek before heading for the doors „Hope I'll see you and the others soon at the Aurora.“ Doris shook her head after him „Schmack.“ She turned to Jake „You all right there, dear?“ she asked him as he got up. „I'm fine, thanks Doris.“ He said and she looked at him „Mhm, sure you are. I'm still gonna brig you some ice for that.“ She said and walked out. „I'm fine.“ Jake said to me seeing my expression. He came and sat next to me. „Thats was very unexpected of you. I was sure you would fight him back.“ I said and he looked at me a bit sad „Well, he was right.“ I sighed „Are we back to that again?“ „What? To me not looking after you? Ofcourse, I will never forgive myself for it.“ Now he sighed desperately „I'm sorry, angel, but I can't just get so easily over it. Maybe with time, but for now it still sits heavy on my shoulders.“ I saw how much all of it still bothered him, and I knew no matter what I might say he wouldn't listen. „All right“ I said after a moment „But, just promise me, you will try to let go off that. For me.“ He half smiled „I promise, angel.“ I pulled him to me for a kiss, and he winced. Doris came back giving Jake the ice pack. „Thank you , Doris.“ He said taking it from her. „You're welcome, dear.“ She said winking before leaving again. I took the ice pack from him „Come here you.“ I said and pulled him to lay next to me. Placing the pack on the spot that was really red by now and started to swell he winced again „Ouch!“. „I'm sorry.“ I said quickly and he grinned at me. „Ohh you, that was mean!“ He laughed „Sorry, angel, couldn't resist.“

„Ready to leave, hun?“ Doris asked smiling from the doors holding my discharge papers. „Definitely!“ I said cheerfuly. She came to me and hugged me „Now, hun, as much as I like you, I hope I'll never see you again.“ She moved from me and winked „At least not in here.“ I chuckled „I hope so too, Doris. And, thank you, again, for everything.“ „No need to thank me, hun.“ She turned to Jake and winked „Now, dear, you take good care of her, this one's a keeper.“ „You can say that again, Doris.“ He said back, and to the surprise of both of us, walked to her and gave her a hug. „And I also thank you for everything.“ He released her, and with glazing eyes she waved her hand at us „Oh, you two..get going now, before you get me even more teary.“ She smiled and squeezed us both on the hand before leaving the room „Take care, kids.“

Feeling the sun on my face as we stepped out from the hospital felt so good. „So, do you maybe want to go somewhere first?“ Jake asked me as we walked towards the car. „I mean, you were in there for quite a wile.“ I smiled at him „Yeah, thats true. But I still feel a bit tired. Maybe tomorrow.“ As much as I appriciated being out, I still needed to rest. But I also wasn't very eager of the thought of returning back to the motel. Not after all that happened there. He smiled back at me „As you wish, angel. We got to the apartment then.“ „Apartment? Not the motel?“ I asked surprised. „Ahm, well yeah.“ He started „I hope you don't mind, but I got all your stuff and took them to Hannah's place.“ He got a bit nervous „I mean, I am staying there now that she's moved in with Thomas. And to be honest, I thought you might feel...less uneasy there.“ I stopped walking, and he turned to look at me. „Everything all ri...“ But I didn't let him finish. I pulled him in a tight hug „Thank you. You have no idea how glad I am to hear this. I so didn't want to go back to the motel. Not after everything.“ I felt tears coming to my eyes. „I know, angel.“ He said, and a sob escaped me. Then another, and another. He hugged me tighter „It's ok, angel, everything will be fine. I've got you now.“ He just held me there in a tight hug, letting me cry on his shoulder, for as long as I needed it.

„Ohh, this room is amazing with all this natural light!“ I squealed as Jake showed me around the apartment. He chuckled „I thought you might like it. Hence that big table there.“ I turned grinning to him „You did this for me?“ „Ofcourse, angel.“ I rushed to him throwing my hands around his neck and kissing him, but winced from the pain in my shoulder. „All right, that's enough excitement for you for now.“ He said ushering me out of the room. He lead me to the couch, made me sit then lifted my feet up. „Now don't move from here unless it's really necessary.“ He said stern with a raised eyebrow. „Oh, come on, that's not needed.“ I said protestingly. He chuckled „Maybe, but just take it easy for a day or two more.“ I was about to protest again, but he looked at me, making such a puppy face that I couldn't possibly say no to him. „Argh, all right, although I feel fine, I'll do it for you.“ „Thank you, angel.“ He said and leaned to kiss me. „Now, can I get you anything? Drink, food?“ he asked and i grinned „Well, I would kill for a coffee.“ He laughed hard „Why I'm not surprised about that.“ He said standing up. „Well, since I'm not allowed to move from this spot, I hope you're ready to indulge my demands.“ I said grinning. He smiled „For you, angel, I'll do anything.“

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3 MONTHS LATER

„Just come to the Aurora tonight, Jessy, I will tell you everything then.“ I said to her on the phone, as I entered the apartment. „Fine, be all secretive then.“ She said sulky. I laughed „No need for that tone, you know that won't work on me. I'm still not gonna tell you anything now.“ „Ahhh, fine! See you tonight then.“ „See you, Jessy.“ I entered the kitchen, Jake sitting at the table with his laptop. He smiled „Hey, angel.“ „Hey babe.“ I said going to him for a kiss. „How was with dr. Barret?“ he asked. „It was ok.“ I said sitting next to him. „It actualy feels good to talk about it with someone.“ I smiled „Thank you for talking me into doing it.“ „No need to thank me, angel.“ He said smiling back. I sighed „I hope it doesn't bother you that it's not you that I can talk to about it.“ He took my hand, pulling me from the chair to sit on his lap „I don't really care who you talk about it with, angel. Heck, I wouldn't care if you said you wanted to talk to Phil about it. As long as you get better.“ I laughed „Huh, you know, now that you mentioned it, they do say that barkeepers are a good listeners. So kinda close to psychiatrist.“ I tilted my head and said teasingly „It would definitely be cheeper. And beside, I'm sure Phil wouldn't mind listening to me, me being all vulnerable around him, and..“ „Ok,ok, no need to continue.“ He said quickly interupting me. „You just stick with dr. Barret.“ I laughed „Awww, babe, will you ever be at ease about Phil?“ „Probably not.“ He said thoughtfully. I smiled „Not even now, when I'm about to move in with you?“ He grinned „Not even then.“ I chuckled „You're hopeless then.“ He gave me a quick kiss. „Sooo“ he started grinning again„You think Jessy will be happy when you tell her the news about you moving here?“ „Happy?“ I said, „No, I don't think so.“ He looked confused at me, and I grinned „She will be thrilled.“

A/N: Ok, so after a short, but lovely chat with @lovingstudentangel who got a bit confused with how I ended the previous chapter, with the part of Jake visiting a grave, thinking it was the end of the story, so I want to clarifie it for her, or anyone else who might have been equaly confused. It was his mother grave that he visited, and I used that part as a clifhanger. I hope all is in the clear now :)

[euphoricsunflowers]

threat or promise — lee minhyuk

request: hello is it okay if i ask for sub!minhyuk mx? i dont rlly have any thing specific to add to that im so sorry

a/n: it’s really sad but it’s also really cute but like also also horny like minhyuk is a big ass mess but it’s ok we still love him.

word count: 1.6k

content: sub!minhyuk, dom!fem!reader, angst!!, it’s only fem because pegging, pet play, puppy/owner dynamics, you guessed it more pet names because again i am s o f t, praise kink kinda

taglist: @lovingonrepeat @neosincity @sub-hoshi-enthusiest @rosethefae @staranonthoughts @maknaeronix @multidreams-and-desires @mellowriting

you’re usually welcomed home with a sneak attack of kisses and hugs, along with minhyuk loudly ranting about something happening during his day, like how he gave a bird a tostito chip and it wouldn’t leave him alone or how his favorite drink was out so he had to get something else as he drags you to the couch so you could cuddle the night away.

today, though, you’re met with silence. your initial assumption of minhyuk being alseep is wrong: he’s in the living room, scrolling through his phone. he’s biting his lip, staring at the screen with an intense look, and you just can’t figure out what’s going through his head, “minnie?”

he jumps slightly, so you assume he didn’t notice you were there, but his reaction is less than sufficient to make you unsuspicious, “hey y/n.”

you sigh, setting your stuff down before sitting next to him on the couch, “come here, min,” you murmur. he barely can hold himself back for a few seconds before he gives in, falling into your arms, melting and molding against you, allowing you complete control to protect his heart, if just in that moment. it’s also not long before he starts letting out sobs that are so faint, you have to hold your breath if you’re trying to hear them. he uses your shirt to muffle his cries, and while you really don’t give a shit about the shirt, he’s worrying you, “minhyuk, talk to me baby, what do you need? do you wanna talk about it?”

he doesn’t say anything, but he hands his phone to you, which you take hesitantly. it’s off, so he’s not trying to show you anything, but he finally speaks up after a few moments of confusion, “take it away from me.”

“okay, baby, i’ll hold onto it for the time being,” you kissing the crown of his head while rubbing his back, hoping the affection will at least soothe him somewhat, “i’m not going to force you to talk about it, minnie, but if you want to talk to me, i’m here.”

he’s silent, so you take that as a sign he’s not going to talk. his arms are wrapped impossibly tight around you, as if holding on for dear life. his cheek is squished against your chest, and as much as it’s adorable, it’s so painful to see him like this. minhyuk was like the sun, just endlessly energetic and bright and he always had infinite love to give.

“y/n?” he whispers, taking you out of your thoughts.

“yes, baby?” you whisper back with another couple kisses, also running your fingers through his pale blond hair, “what’s on your mind, minnie?”

“they said i was annoying,” he murmurs, struggling to get the words out as he still cries, “they told me that i never shut up and they wish they could mute me sometimes. and usually i can handle it and just laugh it off, but today it was too much.”

it’s heartbreaking, really. minhyuk was such a kind person and yet this person, whoever they were, found it far too easy to hurt him, “thank you for telling me, min. that took a lot of strength. i—”

“am i annoying?” he cuts you off suddenly, but it only makes your heart crack a little bit more.

“of course you’re not, darling. you have so much life in you, you’re always making me laugh with your antics or making me smile with your work stories. i wouldn’t change a single thing about you, not ever,” you see him smile ever so slightly, and though it’s not enough to completely make his pain go away, his smile is a familiar sight that you’re so relieved to see.

“promise?”

“i pinky promise, min,” you hold him just as tight as he holds you, wishing you could take all his pain away.

“could you…” he murmurs softly, “could you distract me?”

“of course min, what do you wanna do? i can play a movie and get some popcorn or we could play a board game or go—”

“no, uhm, i meant something else,” he blushes, and you realize his legs had been wrapped around your left thigh for the entire time he’d been holding onto you, “i promise i’ll be good.”

“baby, you’re always good, what do you mean?” you ask softly, gently cupping his cheek with your hand. he leans into your touch, almost purring at the feeling.

“i promise, i promise i’ll be perfect for you, just please love me, please, i—”

“puppy,” you cut him off this time, because his words break your heart more and more by the second and it’s impossible to take. the nickname immediately changes his demeanor, evident by the fact his body tenses up. he looks up at you with his teary eyes, so you whisper to him, “are you sure you want to? i’d feel like i was taking advantage of you in this state if you’re not one hundred percent sure.”

“please, i’m sure,” he pleads, and you’ve never been one to deny him.

“does my puppy want his owner to fuck him?” you ask, and he nods quickly, desperately, and it makes you chuckle. he was so precious, “alright then, let’s move this to the bedroom.”

he follows behind you before lying down quietly on the bed. he’s silent the whole time you go through your dresser drawer for what you need, which is so unlike him that you turn to make sure he’s still there, and of course he is. he’s staring up at the ceiling vacantly, and you would do anything at this point to help the poor boy.

“strip for me, puppy,” you murmur, and he sits up to throw his shirt off and pull off his shorts and boxer. minhyuk’s never had a big build, always on the thinner side, but good god he looks so small with his shoulders hunched in like that, and it saddens you, “come here, pup, let me take care of you,” he crawls to the edge of the bed, head hung a bit low. you use a finger to lift his chin up, forcing him to look you in the eye, but it’s too much, “min, darling, let’s stop. you obviously—”

“please don’t, y/n, i really need this,” he begs, hands reaching out for you, needing to feel that you’re there, “i know you don’t like it when i’m sad, but i really need to be yours right now. please show me that i’m more than just an annoyance.”

“okay,” you breathe, leaning in for a kiss. it’s so much softer than normal, each movement of yours is filled with love and adoration. you just hope he can feel it as much as you do. you pull back to whisper to him, “let me prep you.”

he nods, grabbing onto the collar of your shirt to pull you on top of him, “ruin me, please.”

you squeeze some lube onto your fingers, warming it up so he doesn’t have to feel the coldness, “i’ll break you into pieces and put you back together beautifully, pup,” he still jumps at the feeling of your fingers touching him, pressing one in gently. he sighs at the feeling, closing his eyes to just simply take it all in. after a few minutes, he’s groaning at the slight stretch when you add another finger, “does that feel good, my pretty puppy?”

“y-yeah,” he stutters adorably, “want you inside me,” though you’d usually make him beg a little bit, tonight would be different. tonight was all about him.

“alright puppy, sit tight for me,” you kiss his forehead as you pull your fingers out, “god, you’re so beautiful. beautiful and absolutely mine.”

he whines at your words, whispering, “yours.”

you press the strap-on against his rim, pushing in when he gives you the green light, “you’re an incredible human being, my minpuppy, you’re so kind, so loving, and so bright,” you murmur as he moans out softly as you slowly push in and out, keeping the pace slow, and yet he’s already lost in the pleasure, “and you’re so, so special. you’re the only one for me, god i never want to let you go. you’re so perfect for me.”

the praise makes him more and more weak and it adds to feeling building up in his stomach more and more each second, “o-oh, fuck, fuck—!”

“you sound so pretty, when you’re close too,” you mutter in between thrusts, “you could cum at any second, but you like waiting for permission, don’t you?”

“l-like making you— oh my god!— proud of me,” he barely gets out as he’s so close, he can feel it coming.

“then make me proud, puppy, cum for me,” you order, and he easily obeys, feeling the warmth wash over him. you watch the white ribbons collect all over his tense stomach as he breathes heavily. you hadn’t touched his cock up until now, but you make sure to jerk him off through his orgasm until he’s given all the cum he’s got. you pull out of him and he all but collapses from all the energy it took, “there you go, puppy, good boy. you’re such a good boy. here, let me go get a rag so i can clean you up—”

“no~,” he whines, “stay with me. i like being dirty for you.”

“keep talking like that and i’ll really ruin you, pup,” you smirk teasingly.

“is that a threat or a promise?” he asks with bright eyes, even though he knows the answer. him being at least somewhat back to his normal self makes this moment so precious.

“promise, puppy, it’s a promise.”

[leerongrong]

of peaches and clichés.

Pairing: Na Jaemin x Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Summary: In which you’re Jaemin’s chemistry tutor and he’s your cliché flirty high school bad boy.

Requested: yes // im not creative enough to think of an idea but i crave your writing so im gonna try and request lol. chenle fluff? dkjfid i have no idea on specifics, sorry if this didnt help. or some flirty badboy!jaemin im weak for that

The sun's shinning down, rays breaking through clouds onto the school's rooftop. Winds sweep across your cheeks, eyelashes fluttering along with your textbook pages in the wind. Screeching shoes from the basketball team are heard from below, along with the coach's whistle and shouts. Your earphones block out most of the noise, a melody to help calm down your nerves from the stress of school work.

"Well, look who I ran into." A male's voice breaks you from murmuring the lyrics to the song, even going as far to startling you until the textbook previously lying on your lap is flung away. "I would say it was a coincidence, if I believed in them."

Your eyes trail to black shoes just in front of you, keeping track of the hands that bend down to retrieve the pink, tossed away textbook. Your eyes are trailing up onto the figure, taking in the sight of a slightly worn out leather jacket and an odd tuff of blue hair.

Every high school has a stereotype to them; some with big brain nerds, maybe even buff jocks that push said nerds into lockers. Others have preppy cheerleaders that smile and flirt at every living thing, or a gathering of Goth teens that only hang out with their own clique. You've never had an opinion of them, simply choosing to live your own life alongside your pack of friends who are deemed "smart" and ultimately being labeled as the school's good girl.

The white canvas, the teacher's pet, the school's innocent, the extremely sweet girl capable of making anyone smile, those are the names you've been called throughout high school. Not that you minded them, they're just labels put there by people who never even knew you.

"Do you believe in love at first sight?" The epitome of a high school stereotype would be the one standing just right in front of you; Na Jaemin, the school's bad boy who's never seen wear anything but a leather jacket and skinny jeans, the one that goes around with whispers following him like the plague, the one who breaks heart after heart when he's bored, the one you got assigned to tutor chemistry. "Because if I'm not wrong, you fell head over heels the moment I came through that door."

The need to suppress your smile exceeds the need to take your book back.

"Besides, who wouldn't fall for me?" Jaemin's flirting is something you've only heard of previously, hallway whispers going around about his sweet words that make girls fall for him. You've only got to experience the end of it just two months ago, after your first tutor session had begun, the boy never failed to spew sweet nothings at you, at first driving you crazy with how much time he wastes flirting instead of studying. "But why would you throw away the book I gave you?"

The sight of his exaggerated pout makes you feel butterflies in your stomach, something that's been happening after tutoring Jaemin. Your friends had warned you to stay away from him, to decline the teacher's offer of an added grade if you succeeded in raising his grades. You don’t know what came over you to agree into something like tutoring, at first what you thought was, a lost cause like Jaemin. You remember feeling bad for lying to your friends, telling them that you needed the extra grade when in reality your grades have been stable and you didn't need any extra credits.

The butterflies explode once more when his pout turns into an attractive smirk you've seen him paint on his face multiple times. You're ducking your head in hopes he doesn't see the blossoming blush on your cheeks, not sure whether you want someone to burst into the rooftop to save you from your embarrassment or to spend a few minutes with him.

You're not sure when you started developing feelings for Jaemin. All your life you’ve never been one to believe in love at first sight, always seeing the logical side, explaining to Jaemin that falling in love happens slowly but gradually, declining his objections and telling him repeatedly that love doesn't happen overnight, it happens with unspoken moments and sweet words between two people intertwined with each other.

Maybe it started two weeks after your first tutoring session; the first time you ever saw Jaemin asleep in the library after the two of you decided to study after school, the day you remember seeing dark bags under his eyes after forcing him to study with you over the phone, the day you gathered enough courage to sweep away the, then brown, bangs from his eyes.

”Studying again?” The librarian’s voice pulls your attention away from your phone, snapping your gaze towards her smiling face before you’re smiling yourself, nodding at her question. “With company today, I see.”

“Company? What do you mean?”

You see her nod her head and you’re forced to squint when you see a hooded figure sleeping on the table you normally sit at. “He’s been here for over an hour already, sleeping.”

The library’s silent, with no one but you, the librarian, and the sleeping figure on the desk. The air is warm but windy, perfect weather to study in if it weren’t for the mysterious person sitting in your spot. You’ve got half the mind to start talking to the person and wake him up when you round the table and see that it’s Jaemin. Your heart softens at the sight of his soft brown hair, make shift bed made with chemistry books, more so when you see the bags under his eyes.

Guilt starts eating at you when you remember you’re the one who practically forced him to stay up all night with you, studying for your pre-chemistry test that’s coming next week. You’re gathering the books around him, gently pulling the one under his head and replacing it with your neck pillow instead, the sight of him sleeping in a slightly better position lessening your guilt.

Hours pass just like that, the librarian signaling for you to pack up while you’re stretching your stiff joints. In the few hours, you realize that Jaemin looks nothing like the front he puts up every day when he’s asleep, he doesn’t look as rugged and mischievous, he looks more soft and nice like this. Another thing you notice is how soft his hair looks without any added products, the color reminding you of hot cocoa on a winter day.

Your eyes are darting back and forward on his face, searching for any signs he’s beginning to wake up, heart starting to beat slightly fast at the thought of being able to run your fingers through his hair. The librarian’s still moving around somewhere behind you and you’re cautiously lifting your hand up to his head, fingers slightly brushing against his tresses.

“If you wanted to touch, you could have asked.”

The yelp that pulls out of you has Jaemin smirking, said boy lifting both his hands up above his head to stretch. “And don’t think I didn’t catch you staring,” he smirks, “You can stare for however long you want, I won’t judge.”

Your face flushes red and you’re quick on your feet, dashing away out of the library after collecting your bag and essentials, leaving Jaemin alone with your abandoned neck pillow still in his hands. Jaemin’s smiling, hands playing with the peach shaped pillow while he’s staring at where you were sat.

“Cute.”

It could have started on the third week after your club activities; when you ran into Jaemin for the first time that day, getting the surprise of your life when you saw his freshly dyed pink hair. Getting another surprise when he dragged you into the library for a study session, when he didn't need a tutoring for another 2 days. It was the first day butterflies erupted in your tummy when he told you he dyed his hair pink because pink reminded him of you.

Banter is tossed around while you’re laughing along with your friend. Your club activities just finished and you’re itching to go to the library for a much needed alone time, between your classes and tutoring Jaemin, there isn’t much time left for you to recollect your thoughts.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

Your friends around you are all suddenly whispering, some fixing their hairs, others reapplying their lipsticks and you’re left wondering at the sudden change of attitude until Jaemin comes strutting down the hall with his usual leather jacket and not so usual bright pink hair. “Hi, peaches.”

“Peaches?” you choke out, “Who’re you calling peaches?”

“You.” He’s grinning at you, hands tugging at yours to pull you away from your peers and you’re slightly stumbling at his fast paced footsteps. “Or if you don’t like it I can call you Babe? Baby? Sweetheart?”

“Oh, I know!” He clicks his finger, “How about I call you mine?”

You force out a snort at his blatant flirting, thanking the Gods he’s not looking back at your frame, or else the full on blush on your face would’ve been blown. “Where are you taking me? Isn’t this the way to the library? Jaemin I don’t have to tutor you today.”

You’re met with silence as he continues to tug you into the library, waving a quick hello to the librarian when you pass her along the way. You bump into Jaemin’s chest when he suddenly stops in front of you and you’re on your tip toes when you see him pick an object up from your usual desk. “What are you doing?”

“You wanna know why I dyed my hair pink?” You’re sighing when he ignores your question, your patience running thin from your stolen ‘me time.’ He’s turning around and you’re shocked to see your peach neck pillow in his hands along with a chemistry test paper with the numbers 87 at the top left corner.

“My grades went up, thanks peaches.” He’s leaning down to your height, and goosebumps start to arise on your skin when his lips brush against the shell of your ear. “And I dyed my hair pink because pink reminds me of you.”

That day you’re the one left alone in the library, with a hand resting on your cheek, on the spot where Na Jaemin just kissed you.

Maybe it started on the fifth week when nature had decided to rain you in after school, all alone after studying for a physics test in the library, with the only other person there being Jaemin, who had to stay back for a physics make up test. The boy covering you with his beloved leather jacket, running under the rain all the way to your house which had resulted to him being absent the next day, getting a cold. 

“You bring an umbrella, peaches?”

Jaemin’s voice snaps you out of your stare off with the rain, said boy standing next to you with nothing but his leather jacket in hand and his backpack on his back. His previously bright pink hair has now been washed out, leaving only bits of light pink to color his hair and you’re embarrassed to say that it matches exactly with your peach neck pillow.

“No,” you mumble, “I’m guessing you didn’t too?”

”Always the smart one in the relationship.” Jaemin’s taking off his leather jacket and you look to him in confusion when he sets it on top of your shoulder, slightly adjusting the material so that it covers your head. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Why are you giving me your jacket?”

“I thought you were the smart one.” You open your mouth to banter with him, only to be cut of when he intertwines your fingers together. Your jaw falls slack and he’s laughing, pretending to push your jaw back up and fix it. “C’mon, peaches. Don’t tell me you’ve never watched kiss scenes under the rain before.”

Your stomach erupts with butterflies with the flirting that’s coming out of his mouth, and your hands feels warm encased in his much bigger ones. You’re watching as rain continues to fall from above, some drops slightly falling into Jaemin’s hair and there’s an unexplainable feeling that’s resting deep in you and you’re not sure you want to know what that feeling is.

“Let’s run!”

The run to your house is painfully quick, the two of you encased in laughter along the way while Jaemin had a minor heart attack when you almost slipped across a walkway, and now the roof of your house acts as a shield from the rain, both you and Jaemin still doubling over the stairs as you try to recollect your breaths.

You’re mostly dry, Jaemin’s jacket acting as a wonderful rain coat most of the way, while Jaemin’s drenched from head to toe. You’re eyeing the way his clothes stick onto him like second skin, how his backpack is completely drenched and you’re surprised when your fingers twitch when you eye the way his bangs are sticking onto his forehead. “You want to come in?”

“No,” He teases, “I don’t do that until the 4th date.”

You’re gasping at his innuendos and Jaemin lets out a laugh when you smack his chest, the laugh turning into a shriek when he topples over the stairs and onto the busy street. Your hands are reaching forward and grabbing at Jaemin by the front of his shirt, pulling at it with all your might until he crashes onto you, both of your chests glued onto each other.

Both your hands are on his chest while his are on your waist. The air’s warm with a bit of chill in the air, the dripping rain drops and honking car horns act as background music to you and Jaemin’s scene, the later pulling you flush against him and you feel your shirt dampen from the water on his shirt. You’re holding in a breath, head lifting up to meet Jaemin’s gaze, the feeling from earlier coming back to you ten times as strong as before, as if constricting your lungs, making it hard for you to breath.

Jaemin’s eyes flick from yours onto your lips and you’re clutching at his shirt, finding it harder and harder to ground yourself when it feels as if you’re floating in mid air. Jaemin’s head dips down and you debate on closing your eyes, until the soft weight of his lips come on yours and every doubt disappears from your mind. Your eyes are closed and you stand on your tip toes to deepen the kiss.

His lips are slightly chapped, tastes like rain water with a mix of something sweet. His grip on your waist relaxes when the two of you separate for air, Jaemin slightly dipping back in to leave a peck on your lips.  His mouth leaves yours fully when he leans back to look at you, hands coming up to caress your cheeks and slightly swollen lips. Your own hands works to sweep back his hair, letting you to finally get a clear view of his eyes.

Minutes pass while the two of you stare at each other, the moment finally breaking when Jaemin lets out a laugh and smile. “If all I had to do is give you my jacket and run in the rain for you to kiss me, I would’ve done it weeks ago.”

“Is a kiss all you wanted, Na Jaemin?” you tease, “I would’ve given it to you if it meant you leaving me alone.”

He’s pulling you into him again, eyes searching into yours while his lips stretch out into a smile. His hands tug at your cheek while he dips down once more, pressing a kiss onto your lips. “Not a chance. I want you, all of you.”

“Hello?” Jaemin leans down to your level when you don’t answer, breaking you out of your memory daze. “Am I asking too many questions?”

“It always takes me a while to put words together.” You pout at him. “It’s not you.”

He moves closer, his heart-stopping smile returning onto his lips. “Oh? Is it when we’re alone like this I make you speechless?”

“We’re dating, Nana.” You laugh. “You don’t make me speechless, not anymore. Especially after I found out what a dork you truly are.”

“But I can still make you blush.” His hands are suddenly on your hips, lifting you onto the railing and planting a kiss onto your kips, a spectacle anyone can see from all around the school. You let out a squeak when he bites onto your bottom lip, nibbling and dragging it with him as he breaks the kiss. You feel warmth spread all over your body, especially your cheeks, more so when he sends you his sweet-as-candy smile. “See? You’re too cute, peaches.”

The epitome of a high school stereotype would be the one standing just right in front of you; Na Jaemin, but now he’s the boy who got you a pink textbook just so you could match his hair, the boy who lends you his leather jacket when it’s cold, the boy who painted on blues, pinks, gold, reds and every color there is on your once white canvas.

You’re not sure when you started falling for Na Jaemin, all you knew was that falling for him wasn’t falling at all. It was walking into two arms and suddenly knowing you’re home.

“So does that mean you’re going to buy me a blue textbook?”

“Anything for my sweet peaches.”

[shou-aizawa]

drained [dadzawa]

pairings: shouta aizawa & reader

warnings: sleep deprivation

summary: reader has a hard time sleeping and suffers the consequences. dadzawa helps out a lil’.

word count: 1.9k

a/n: alrighty, first post! funnily enough i had a completely different idea for a one shot but my own horrible sleeping habits and exhaustion led to me writing this instead. i’m sure it could be better, after all i wrote it on like.... no sleep, BUT im just happy i got anything written at all!

Y/N could barely keep her eyes open, the need to sleep tugging at her mind persistently and slowing her down. Her movements were heavier, less coordinated; feet dragging along the floor as she walked, nearly dropping her pencil nearly thirteen times in just one lesson. Not to mention her head was aching with no end in sight, a constant thumping at her temples.

It was simple. She was tired. Exhausted. Dead on her feet.

But it wasn’t like she’d stayed awake all night on purpose, god no. She’d laid in bed the night before for hours, tossing and turning, seemingly unable to find a comfortable position no matter how she positioned herself. 

By the time five a.m came around, she’d given up trying to fall asleep and chose to get up instead, she had an alarm set for five thirty anyway so what was the harm in getting an even earlier start than usual? It wasn’t the first time she’d done it either, her sleep schedule had been in shambles recently, so it was hard to stick to any solid routine.

She went on a morning jog, breathing in the fresh, morning air and feeling just that little bit more awake. When she got back to the dorms and showered, then fixed herself some breakfast, she was feeling almost normal, as if she’d slept through the night like she was supposed to.

Y/N was foolish enough to let herself be lured into this false sense of security; maybe she would actually make it through the day without much issue, then she could cuddle up in her bed that night and catch up on the sleep she’d missed out on.

Oh how foolish she was.

She lasted maybe three hours into the school day before her lack of sleep began to catch up with her, and her focus crashed. Concentrating on what Present Mic was trying to teach felt gradually more and more impossible. Taking notes? Forget it. Her handwriting was sloppy and the pen just wouldn’t stop slipping out of her fingers.

It was infuriating. Y/N didn’t even realise tears of frustration were pooling in her eyes until one of them dripped down onto her notebook. She gasped quietly in surprise, quickly dropping her pen - on purpose this time - and wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

Once she was sure her eyes were dry, she risked a look around the room. At first glance it seemed as though no one had noticed, but when she looked again, paying more attention this time around, she caught the worried glances some of her friends were throwing her way.

She caught Uraraka’s eye, noticing the worried frown on the girl’s face, and quickly sent a small, hopefully reassuring smile her way. Uraraka didn’t seem exactly convinced… or did she? Honestly Y/N was struggling to decipher the expression on her friend’s face, and decided to just turn back to Present Mic’s lecture, picking her pen back up with a shaking hand.

She could do this. All she had to do was get through the rest of this class, lunch, training, homework, then she could finally sleep. It’d be fine. Definitely.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl from that point on. What Y/N could’ve sworn was an hour, turned out to just be ten, agonising minutes. When the class was finally dismissed for lunch, she packed her notebooks away, only to have one slip from her grasp and fall to the floor with a dull thump, some of the pages crumpling in the process.

She cursed under her breath, reaching down to pick it up, only for it to be lifted by someone else. Could she not do anything by herself?! She glanced up with a frown and was met with the concerned looks of her friends. It was now that she noticed the classroom was practically empty save for her and her friends, and a couple other stragglers. When did time suddenly decide to go faster? It didn’t seem exactly fair.

“Here you go!” Midoriya said quickly, attempting to straighten some of the notebook pages out before handing it back to Y/N. She blinked, then took it carefully, making sure to keep a tight grip on it as she slotted it into her backpack between her other books.

“Thanks,” she said, surprised at how quiet her voice was, but deciding not to dwell on it and instead zipping her backpack up and slinging it over her shoulder before standing up. “I should be more careful, I guess,” she added with a shrug, forcing a chuckle that apparently did nothing to ease her friends’ worry.

“Are you alright, Y/L/N?” Iida spoke up, tilting his head slightly with the question, his brow furrowed with concern more than anything. She couldn’t look that bad, right?

It took her a second to think of a reply. “Me? I’m fine! Why wouldn’t I be?” She said, a nervous laugh following the answer. “You know what I am as well as fine? Hungry. That’s what. Let’s go to lunch already!” She announced, forcing what she hoped was some sort of brightness into her tone, then making her way towards the classroom door.

“I saw you, uhm, crying.. In class earlier,” Uraraka said as she and the other two followed. “Just got a little worried, that’s all,” she smiled slightly, and Y/N felt a pang of guilt for making her friends worry.

“Oh- yeah, that. I just got a bit of dust in my eye, I think,” she said over her shoulder as she walked down the hallway. “I’m sorry for worrying you,” she added, smiling apologetically.

Once again, her friends didn’t seem convinced and Y/N had to wonder if she was really such a bad liar. Not like it mattered. She would be fine by tomorrow, she just had to get through today! She was sure that if she just got some food in her, she would get just enough energy to actually make it through.

Oh boy, was she wrong.

Lunch had gone fine, Y/N had managed to choke some food down and even join in the conversation at her table. She still got the odd worried glance, but she hardly even noticed. For just a little while, she felt better, less… well, dead.

And then training started.

It wasn’t anything that she would usually have a problem with; just some sparring with her classmates. But the problem was she just couldn’t keep up. Her blocks were sloppy, her punches weak, and all the while, a strong headache thrummed in her temples, making her feel as though at any moment she would just lose her lunch.

Not wanting to back out, however, she kept going with training, trying to push herself to be quicker and make herself look less pathetic than she currently did. Her headache seemed dead set on stopping her though, getting stronger with each passing minute.

She was paired up with Kaminari when it all just got too much. In all honesty, the blond kicked her ass. Y/N just lacked the strength to keep herself upright, nevermind raising her arms to attempt any kind of defense, she still tried, she couldn’t just give up so easily.

She’d just smacked one of Kaminari’s punches away, and was taking a second to catch her breath, when his fist came flying back, landing right on her cheek. The impact shook her and she stumbled back, tripping over her own feet and landing on the mat heavily. The pain in her head seemed to double- no, triple, and when she tried to move, to get up, her body barely responded.

“What’d you do, Kaminari?!”

“What do you mean ‘what did I do!?’ I just did what-”

Some part of Y/N knew that she should open her eyes, try to reassure everyone that she was fine, but the rest of her was just relieved to be lying down, to finally be getting some rest. The last thing she remembered was someone calling her name, and a hand on her shoulder, then she slipped into unconsciousness, getting the rest she desperately needed.

When she opened her eyes again, the first thing she saw was a stark white ceiling. She felt a lot more comfortable than she last remembered being, and glancing down at herself she realised she was tucked into one of the beds in Recovery Girl’s office. She was mostly confused, wondering how she’d gotten there and, more importantly, what had happened.

Someone cleared their throat next to her and Y/N immediately sat up and glanced over, eyes wide in surprise. She let herself relax just a little when she saw it was just Mr Aizawa. Emphasis on ‘a little’.

“Mr Aizawa, sir!” She said, coughing a little afterwards, her throat felt way too dry. Her teacher held out a bottle of water, and she took it after a moment’s hesitation, uncapping it and taking a couple small sips. “I- what happened?”

“Sleep deprivation,” the man said simply, and Y/N had a feeling he was familiar with the symptoms himself. “You pushed yourself too hard on too little sleep, and ended up getting knocked unconscious by Kaminari.” He paused. “You gave him a bit of a scare, he thought he’d killed you with that punch.”

The fuzzy memories Y/N had became a little clearer, and she lowered her gaze, fidgeting with the blanket.. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think it would get so out of hand.”

Aizawa gave her a questioning look, and after a moment she continued.

“I’ve just- haven’t been able to sleep too well recently,” she mumbled. “Waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to get back to sleep, that kind of stuff. I had a bad night where I just didn’t get to sleep at all and- I thought I could just take a nap after school or something, I felt fine for a while, so I didn’t think it’d be so bad.”

“You can’t push yourself like that, Y/L/N.” Aizawa said, his voice seeming to take on a more gentle tone. “Getting enough sleep is important, it should be a priority. So if you’re struggling to sleep, talk to someone about it; me, Recovery Girl, any of the teachers, really. We’re here to help you after all. Got it?”

Y/N nodded after a moment, taking a deep breath. “Got it. Thank you, Mr Aizawa.”

He nodded too, reaching out and giving her shoulder a comforting squeeze before standing up. “Recovery Girl’s going to keep you on bed rest for a while, just until you can get that sleep cycle of yours back in order. I’ll have one of your friends bring you notes from the classes you missed today so that you can catch up whilst you’re here.”

Y/N frowned, processing that. “Wait- What do you mean- how long was I out for?”

“Just under twenty-four hours, give or take.”

She groaned, mostly out of annoyance at the fact that she now had to play catch up. Aizawa chuckled slightly.

“Don’t stress yourself out, Y/L/N,” he said. “You’ll get back up to speed no problem. For now, just focus on resting, alright?”

Y/N nodded, then watched Aizawa leave. Once alone, she couldn’t resist wrapping herself up in the cozy blankets and letting her eyes slip shut again, drifting off to sleep in a much more peaceful manner this time around.

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Roguish Women Part 31

Summary: Kate is an American who fled to Paris to escape her past life. Now she's dancing and playing the part of a courtesan at the Moulin Rouge. There she meets Tommy Shelby who thinks she can be useful in expanding his empire. But has he been blinded?

Part 31: Kate dances again and reunites with Alfie before receiving a promising telegram. 

                       The floor looked freshly polished. Light from the floor to ceiling windows caused the hardwood to gleam. And the floor was so expansive. There was so much space with very little furniture to get in the way. It had been so long since she had space, room to move around, stretch her limbs.

            She’d been raised in the city. A poor girl in a poor neighborhood, Kate was accustomed to the claustrophobic nature of living in the heart of any city. Every day she went to her neighbor’s house and warmed up by pushing the furniture to the walls so she could have enough space to practice. Even then, she often bumped into things.

            Then she auditioned for the ballet company in a studio downtown. One with a proper barre and proper flooring. She had never danced so well.

            When she first danced on stage, it felt like the whole world was hers.

            Then the feeling was taken away and she retreated to her small spaces. A small flat in Paris. A crowded dressing room where she would stretch. The dancefloor packed with dancers and patrons. Her small flat in Birmingham, the banister used as a barre. Then finally back to Boston, ever the familiar feeling of being suffocated.

            Now, she stood in the ballroom of Arrow House. Suddenly, she was offered all this room and for a second she didn’t know how she would fill it all.

            A bit timid, Kate walked in and set her ballet shoes down on the well-kept floor. A gramophone had been brought in, at her request and was waiting in the corner by the windows.

            She went to the gramophone and found a few records piled neatly on the cabinet against the wall. She hadn’t specified exactly what music she wanted, but instead just said anything classical. Shuffling through the records, her heart soared when she landed on Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake. Her neighbor would make her practice to the music nonstop, insisting Kate was destined to dance the swan’s role.

            After warming up, Kate carefully tied her shoes, the motion so familiar it was as if she never stopped dancing at all. It wasn’t particularly comfortable getting back into pointe, but she knew she needed to work through the discomfort.

            She returned to the gramophone and started the record. Although she couldn’t remember the number in full, she could pick out a few moves that she recalled. And it seemed the years of dancing at the Moulin Rouge and stretching in her little flats had paid off somewhat. She felt as flexible as she was in her prime. And she had remembered the techniques her neighbor barked at her for hours on end.

            When she felt brave enough, she tried a fouetté. It proved to be a bit too much and she stumbled on a turn. Catching herself, Kate couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at what her neighbor might say if she had been there.

            “Weak! Again! Do it right or do not do it at all!”

            Kate smiled to herself and tried again. It was still shaky, but much better than before. When she stopped, she noticed Tommy was standing in the doorway of the ballroom.

            “Oh, Tom, I thought you were out.” She felt her cheeks go a bit red as she went over to turn off the gramophone.

            “I just got back and heard music in here. I was hoping I could catch a bit of you dancing.” He walked in.

            “I’m really out of practice.” She admitted sheepishly.

            “It looked good to me.” He met her in the middle of the room.

            “That’s because you’re not a trained ballerina.” She reminded him.

            He chuckled. “Yeah, I could never do any of that.” He took her hand. “It’s been a while since I’ve danced.”

            “Did you used to?” Kate could vaguely recall a few moments when she might’ve caught Tommy dancing. For sure, it had to be with Grace. Maybe at the Derby or perhaps even their wedding, but Kate wasn’t too sure. The past seemed such a blur those days.

            “I think the only person who really got me to dance was Greta Jurossi.” He mused.

            “Who was Greta Jurossi?” Kate lifted his arm so she could do a small spin under it.

            He smiled though there was sadness in his eyes. He led her into another spin, wincing a bit at how painful the pointe shoes looked. “She was the first girl I ever loved. I lost her to consumption before I went to the war.”

            “Oh, Tommy, I’m sorry.” It was devastating to know that no matter how well Kate knew him, she still didn’t know the true root of all his pain. It could have been blamed on luck. Maybe his family just had no luck when it came to love. In a way it was hard to understand his persistence. So many times, he’d loved and lost. Yet, he continued to allow himself to explore another relationship.

            “Yeah.” He sighed. “It was a long time ago though.” As per usual, he wasn’t willing to accept sympathy. “I don’t understand how that doesn’t hurt your feet.”

            Kate smiled. “It takes a lot of practice. It’s painful at first but you learn to tolerate it. And soon you don’t feel anything.”

            Tommy nodded absent-mindedly. He had some idea of what that was like.

 ~~~~~~~~~~ 

            “Miss Lynch.” Ollie looked pleased to see the woman walking towards the bakery.

            “Hello, Ollie.” She smiled. “Alfie’s expecting me I hope.”

            “Yeah, you can go right in.” He opened the doors for her.

            Her heels attracted attention from the distillers but when they lifted their heads, they averted their eyes quickly. They would discuss the return of the American woman, but not until she was out of the room and they were absolutely sure Alfie wasn’t near either.

            Alfie smiled when Kate entered his office. “There she is.”

            “Good to see you, Alfie.” She greeted warmly.

            “London ain’t been the same without you, love.” He chuckled and sat down behind his desk after greeting her.

            Cyril trotted up to Kate when she sat too. “Hello, handsome boy,” She cooed and ruffled his ears. “I’ve missed you too, yes I have.”

            “M’glad you’re here safe and sound,” Alfie said with a rare tone of empathy and concern. “’Course no one was more worried than our dear Tommy, but I’m sure he told you that.”

            “Well, I appreciate it. I’m just glad to be home.”

            “So, everything wrapped up back there then?” Alfie posed a question that sounded innocent enough but of course, was meant to pry.

            “I’m guessing Tommy wasn’t too forthcoming on the matter.” She surmised if he was asking for the story.

            “Of course, he didn’t, you know him.”

            Kate sighed. She hadn’t exactly said out loud what specifically happened to anyone. But she trusted Alfie to accept the story for what it was. She understood Tommy had heard enough and telling him more would only further anger him and deepen his guilt.

            “He caught me talking to Tom on the telephone. He started to…he said he was going to kill me. So, I killed him before he had the chance.”

            “How did you leave the scene?” Alfie wasn’t about to clutch his pearls at what she told him. This was his job, and he could get technical about it if he wanted to. And in Kate’s case, he wanted to because he wanted to ensure what she did wouldn’t catch up to her in the future. Of course, if it did, he wouldn’t mind going to arms for her even if it meant having to work alongside Tommy.

            “I made it look like someone had killed him and kidnapped me. That’s what his men think still as far as I know. I have someone there who is going to help spread the rumor and give it some validity.”

            “Clever lass.” Alfie looked proud of her. “Good riddance to ‘im, yeah, fucking deserved it.”

            Kate didn’t look vindicated or happy with herself. “He just…” She picked at her fingernails. Alfie had been a confidante to her in the past, but she wasn’t sure how well he could help with what happened in Boston. She might’ve felt more comfortable speaking with Polly or Ada about the matter, but Tommy’s family was a tricky situation and she didn’t want to complicate things.

            Alfie picked up on her discomfort and knew there were things she hadn’t said that were on the tip of her tongue. “Whatever he did, right, it don��t take away from who you really are.”

            She shook her head. “I just…it’s affecting my relationship with Tommy because I can’t get over happened. And I can’t explain it properly to Tommy because I know he only blames himself even if it wasn’t his fault. I can’t tell him otherwise. So, I feel like, there’s nothing I can do but sit with how I feel.”

            “It don’t help that the fucker’s rotting now?” Alfie asked. Perhaps it varied, but he knew he got a satisfaction whenever he put someone who wronged them in their place. Whether it was metaphorical or Alfie really did put them six feet under.

            Kate shook her head. “I feel it’s something I can’t shake. I-I’ve gotten better about being around Tommy but when I’m with him. I still feel like people can see it on me. I know that makes no sense but people know what happened and I can only assume they can guess the outcome. It’s like they can see it written on my face or something.”

            Alfie frowned; his brow furrowed. “Is he the first man you killed?” He asked, not sure if they’d ever discussed the topic before.

             Kate’s mouth opened slightly. No more lies, there was no point to continue lying. She had come clean to Tommy. “No.” She admitted. Although her death count was very low, probably compared to the men she ran with her entire life, it was still much more than a normal woman. “It’s not about me killing him. I don’t care if people know about that. I care if people know that he-” She tilted her head to the side hoping he would pick up on her hints so she wouldn’t have to say it out loud.

            “He took advantage of you.” Alfie nodded. He could understand Tommy’s anger. Kate had become like a sister to Alfie, he thought very highly of her. And no one messed with Alfie’s family blood related or not.

            Kate wrapped her arms around herself. “You think I’ve been through enough that it wouldn’t bother me.” She tried to laugh bitterly but couldn’t force herself to.

            “Don’t say that, Katie. You can allow yourself to be hurt, right? That fucking monster hurt you and you deserve to be upset. Deserved to kill him too, so don’t ever feel guilty ‘bout that.” He reminded her. “Now, Tommy, he’ll learn to forgive himself. But don’t try to coddle ‘im. You be honest with him.”

            “I will.”           

            “Good, lass. Now, looking to the future, what’s next, aye?”

            “Well, everything’s out in the open now.” She took a deep breath. “So now I’m going to move forward.”

            “You have plans?”

            “Yeah.”

            “Good, so do I.”

~~~~~~~~~

            “Kate?” Tommy caught her coming in through the front door and passing by his study.

            “Hi.” She smiled when she saw him.

            “How was London? Alfie’s well?”

            “Yeah, it was nice to see him again.” She walked into the room to give him a kiss.

            “I’m sure he was happy to see you as well.” Tommy chuckled. “Sure, he was scrambling to make things work when you were gone. You’re crucial to his smuggling operation.”

            “I know, and I make sure he remembers.” She laughed softly, feeling a bit lighter after speaking with Alfie.

            “You’ve a telegram from London.” He sifted through the papers on his desk to hand it to her.

            “Oh, good, I’ve been expecting one.” She took it from him and scanned the typed letter with a nod. “Good.”

            Tommy sat back in his desk chair; his fingers laced over his stomach. “Good news?”

            “Yes, and it pertains to you as well.”

            He raised an eyebrow. “Aye?”

            “While you mend your relationship with your family, you should be looking for allies. Especially since Luca Changretta is still a threat you need to keep mindful of.” She started, proposing the business plan she thought of a few days earlier.

            He nodded. “Okay.” Letting her continue.

            “There’s a gang in London known as the Forty Elephants.”

            A skeptical look began to form on his face. “I’m aware…”

            “I’ve reached out to their leader, Alice. Just to meet up. I think it’s something you should consider. You’re looking for territory in London, looking for allies, and Alfie’s neutral with them.”

            Tommy’s doubt was mixed with amusement. “They’re a petty shoplifting gang.”

            “They’ve chased out four independent gangs in the West End. They were allied with Elephant and Castle but as you know, Sabini’s been getting the upper hand over them recently. I think you need to step in. Alfie’s allied with Elephant and Castle, but if you absorb them and aid the Forty Elephants, you gain control over West End and your tie with Camden Town is much stronger.”

            His mirth faded as he realized Kate was elaborating on a very solid plan. “You’re confident about this?”

            “Very.” She looked pleased that she was getting through to him.

            He smiled and shook his head with a look of awe. “God, I’ve missed your wits.” He said affectionately.

            “It’s good to be able to use my wits again.”

            He chuckled. “Alright, send a telegram back to Alice, tell her I’m willing to meet with her. You’ll be with me, of course.” He arranged. “Now, c’mere.” He grabbed her hand to pull her onto his lap so he could kiss her.

//The title IS Roguish WOMEN. So prepare yourselves my friends. For the forty elephants. 

Permanent Tag: @papa-geralt-of-cirilla @giftofdreams @biba3434 @kimmietea @karmezii @enrapturedbythemoon @vampgirl1997 @tarafaithe

Tag list: @radical-gecko @actorinfluence @meltingicequeen @merlettina

Masterpost

PB Masterlist

[ladybugsfanfics]

Shut Up And Kiss Me [14/?] | Tom Hiddleston

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x reader

WC: 2.3k

Warnings: pining, angst, implications of sex,

Summary: You and Professor Hiddleston have been colleagues for many years now, and through those years the hatred for each other has only grown. Now, as a new school year starts, you’re being told that you have to share a classroom or a class. Neither are happy about the outcome, but knowing you’ll never come to an agreement, you let the class choose for you. Team-teaching is rare in 2019, but it is a lot harder to do when you can’t stand the person you’re doing it with.

A/N: so this is late, and i havent posted anything in like two weeks, but school’s crazy and im kinda tired but this is finally here and i’ve reached 1k followers. I don’t know if i’ll make something out of it but thank you to every one who is following me and i hope you enjoy this part ^_^

Little goes through Tom’s mind when he wakes. Surprise catches him at the feel of someone lying in his arms, and more surprise at the unfamiliar room he’s in. Tom looks down to see who’s cuddling into him, whose fanning breath spreads across his chest.

His breath gets punched out of him at the sight of Y/N. Her hair tangled, arm draped over his bare torso, and heavy breathing mixing with the hammering of his heart.

Oh, God. He didn’t…?

But Tom knows he did. He didn’t drink. The events of the previous night flashes through his mind. How she’d asked if he could drive her home, how she’d needed help to get inside, how he’d watched her fiddle with her keys before getting open the door. He remembers the way his chest beat so rapidly, waiting for that inevitable goodbye that was doomed to come.

Everything stopped working inside of him when she pulled him into her doorway, when she tugged at his tie and made the motion to look up. Adrenaline had coursed through his body when his lips met hers. The five years of pining and trying to get over the painful breaking of his heart had been swept to the side. When she’d deepened the kiss with her arms wrapped around his neck and a jump before her legs were wrapped around his waist and his hand had come to cup her ass and they’d moved to the bedroom, lips still locked together, had been the most intense moment he’d ever experienced.

The picture he saved in his mind of her naked body in bed pops up and Tom has to shake away the thought.

This isn’t happening. Y/N had been drunk. She is with Chris. It was a mistake, clearly. A drunken one.

And he’d made the mistake of indulging.

It takes him only a second to make up his mind. He does his best to peel himself away from her, gaze flickering to her every moment just to make sure she doesn’t wake up. Boxers on, trousers on, shirt wrongly buttoned, a quick grasp of socks and jacket, and he double checks his wallet and phone are still there, and knowing he has his belongings, he soundlessly slips out the door.

Only a week left before Christmas break. Only a week where things might be slightly awkward between the two of them. Only a week to figure out what the hell he’s supposed to do now.

This isn’t the way it was supposed to happen.

---

Awkwardness is the least of Tom’s worries, apparently.

When he makes it to the classroom before class on Tuesday (and mind you, he hasn’t seen Y/N since before they fell asleep Saturday evening), he’s met with the pleasurable yet very frightening bright smile Y/N sends him.

“Hey,” she says, eyes lighting up with a passion Tom hasn’t ever seen before. “We haven’t talked that much lately, but I thought we had some time now.” She hands him a paper. “I wanted to talk about the upcoming exam, and how to best prepare them to get the best possible grades.”

Tom takes the paper she hands, and sees a list of suggestions. The title reads Tips To Get The Best Exam Results. He nods slightly. “Sure, sounds good.” His voice sounds weird to his ears, lighter than normal. He coughs slightly, and tries again. “Did you have anything specific in mind that we should focus on?”

Nope, still no good.

But if Y/N noticed, she doesn’t say anything, the smile still brightly lighting up her face. “Just thought we could go off the list, really. Something I threw together on Sunday. Already had a rough draft, but you know, can’t stop working.” She tips her head a little, almost a shrug but not really one.

He’s tempted to ask her; if he did something wrong. Maybe he shouldn’t have left her apartment? Maybe they should talk about it?

Tom looks down to check his watch. Still fifteen minutes until any students are supposed to make an appearance. That’s more than enough time to talk about the incident, more than enough, only how does he start―

“Tom?” Y/N waves a hand in front of his face, her own searching for a response.

He shakes his head. “Sorry, what?”

“Just asked if there was anything you thought I’d missed. I want your input.”

There’s something so completely foreign to that sentence that Tom freezes. Even if they were making progress with how well they got along, he’d never actually thought she’d willingly ask for his input. Especially not after he left her apartment after a (great) round of sex and hasn’t actually talked to her since―as far as he knows, most people don’t like that.

However, he has to pull himself out of his head. So he shakes his head (no, he has not read the list) and just gives her a weak smile. “I’m sorry, I’m not really present today.”

“That’s okay,” she says, smile back on her face, though more sweet and less bright. Almost bordering on saccharine. “Can’t always be present, can we? I bet you had a pretty rough Sunday, too. Might not have had that good a Monday either?”

Tom raises a brow. “Rough Sunday? Were you very hungover?” Yes, he avoids the questions. He needs to know if there’s a possibility she doesn’t remember. Of course, that would only make matters worse because he would feel compelled to tell her.

Y/N scrunches her nose a little. “Not that much. I didn’t drink a lot, with the exceptions of the shots I took, but honestly, without them I’d never dared to kiss you either, so… kinda thankful.” And as she talks, her demeanor changes. Tom starts to wonder if she wasn’t being passive aggressive all this time with her sweet voice and big smile.

“You… uhm.” Tom’s words don’t work. Or maybe they don’t exist.

“Yeah, great night, actually. You know, other than you walking out on me, but I can’t blame you.” She shrugs. There’s nothing close to hurt in her voice, nothing close to anger either, really.

Tom has to swallow, because he feels like there’s something more she wants to say and he’s not sure the tug at his heart can take it if she does. Whether that’s a bold reveal that she does, in fact, not like him, in any way, or if it is that she likes him. But what if she likes him only sexually? Will he indulge?

“You know?” she says and takes a step closer to him. “We got about ten minutes. Or more, if we lock the door.” A finger comes up to drag down a little of the shirt he wears, exposing some of his chest. She doesn’t say the last words, but Tom can hear them.

His heart beats rapidly in his chest. Her fingers dance with flames as they graze across and trace their way to his chin. A firm hand takes hold of it, steadying his gaze into hers and he’s not sure he can say no when she licks her lips in that way.

God, his pants are tight.

When he lets her tug him down to ghost her lips over his, he knows he’s screwed. He’s breaking his own heart, breaking the pieces he thought were mending slowly but surely, breaking the trust he put into himself to be strong enough to resist the temptation.

But when Y/N’s lips graze past and connect with his neck, he can’t control the impulse that makes his hands fly to her hips to pull her flush against him. His hands graze the lining of her shirt, and he knows they don’t have time for teasing or foreplay or anything Tom really enjoys.

He doesn’t care. He gives in, succumbing to the desire that resides deep within him. If the only way Tom can be close to Y/N is by being a fuck buddy, he couldn’t care less. At least he gets to be with her.

---

By now, Tom would be home. He’d be with Bobby, cradling the dog into him to gain the cuddles he so desperately needed but didn’t get from the person he most wanted.

Yet, Tom isn’t home. He’s still at the office, slumped down in his too small couch with its too lumpy cushions and too hard armrests. It was the first thing he’d done when he got back after the Creative Writing class. Mostly because he needed time to think, but he can’t think because all that’s on it is how good those ten minutes before class started had been.

God knows he loves foreplay, but God knows they hadn’t needed it.

It’s not like that isn’t what he wanted to think about, it’s just that he can’t stop thinking about how it felt, instead of thinking about what this means for him. For them. For Y/N: His mind should be travelling through all the consequences of such a relationship. Or his mind shouldn’t only be focusing on the positive consequences.

He should focus on how this might rupture the steady going of an actual friendship (with the hopeful something more), but instead he can’t stop thinking about the feelings that rushed through him when Y/N’s lips had press to that spot on his neck. He can’t stop thinking about the throbbing in his abdomen, the swirl of hurt and guilt and arousal deep within his gut, the adrenaline that rushed through his body knowing she wanted him.

However, the one thought (that’s a mixture of positive and negative) he can’t let go, is that she avoided kissing him. She avoided pressing her lips to his, despite the obvious passion that had come from it on Saturday. She almost avoided his face entirely (the slight hint of a red mark on his neck―that one of their students had pointed out over the course of the class―isn’t necessarily unwanted).

But that feeling, that deep, deep longing that had accompanied the kiss on Saturday (no matter if it was prompted by alcohol), he missed that. He wanted it. He still wants it. He wants all of it. More than just friends with benefits, more than a casual relationship, more than… He isn’t even sure exactly what it is they do have.

Maybe they have something that can lead somewhere? Maybe they have something that won’t continue? Maybe they have something―  

Tom’s train of thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door. He scrambles to sit upright on the couch (though he nearly falls off). And, with some sense of dignity still left, he says, “come in.”

The door opens agonizingly slowly. Tom has a silent wish of it being Y/N wanting something more, but he also has a huge wish it’s Benedict and that he can talk to his best friend about the problem that is eating away at him.

And thank God, his prayers are answered. Benedict fully steps into the room and gives Tom a quick once up. He raises a brow and smirks slightly. “And what did I walk in on?” he asks.

“Nothing.” Tom shakes his head. “No, there is something. You have time to talk or did you just come here for a favor?”

Benedict closes the door and sits down in the chair at his side of the desk. He turns it to face Tom and leans back, arms crossed over his chest. “I was coming in here for something else, but you look like you need to talk more. What’s going on?”

“It’s Y/N.”

“Of course it is. Did something happen Saturday?” Benedict raises a brow.

Tom nods, slowly. “We… uhh, I don’t know how to put this, but… we, uhmm…” He takes a deep breath, unsure of how to say the words, unsure of Benedict’s reaction. “We slept together.”

The man’s eyes go wide, and a frown comes through on his face. “Like in the same bed, or the… you know?”

“We had sex, and then fell asleep afterward. Why would we just sleep in the same bed?” Tom shakes his head at his best friends.

“I don’t know. Maybe there was something else.” He shrugs. “But that can’t be everything.”

Tom presses his lips together. He drapes a hand across his face, a sigh accompanying the gesture. “We did it again. I guess you could call it a ‘quicky’. In the classroom. Before our students came in.”

“Is that the reason for the red mark on your neck?”

“Yes.”

When Tom looks up to meet Benedict’s gaze, it feels almost like the older man is mocking him. The teasing, and halfway disappointed, look on Benedict's face is tantalizing.

“She or you initiate?”

“Her. Both times.”

“But the first she was drunk?”

Tom nods. “She had a mistletoe in her doorway. I guess it helped when I followed her up to her flat, seeing as she couldn’t really walk.”

Benedict chuckles. “Are you going to keep it up?”

A sigh falls from Tom’s lips. “I don’t know. Should I?”

“Is it worth it?”

Is it worth it? Is it worth the ache in his heart when she looks at him as if he holds everything she desires but not the part he wants her to desire? Is it worth the stab in his gut when her lips don’t connect with his? Is it worth the scorching heat that comes off of her fingers grazing his skin, of her hands studying his chest? Is it worth his heart leaping into his throat because she feels so close yet so far away? Is it worth it, if his heart will only break past redemption in an effort to be close to her even if it’s not in the way he wants?

“I don’t know.” Tom shakes his head. “What if it’s the only way? What if that’s my only option to be close to her? What if I lose everything if I stop it?”

Benedict smiles, but whatever is really on his mind, he doesn’t say. “Tom, be real. Is it worth it?”

He takes a deep breath, unsure of his answer. Unsure until his lips part and the words carry around the room.

“Yes.”

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