#sorry guys my bottled up rage towards people defending these things boiled over
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pixelkip · 4 months ago
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I'll never understand how people are still using character ai type sites. It's very often people who are otherwise all "ai art sucks because it's stealing art!!" too without realizing that SO DOES EVERY GENERATIVE AI. ALL LARGE LANGUAGE MODELS ARE STEALING COUNTLESS AMOUNTS OF WRITTEN WORK. this includes character ai. Just because We'll This One's Just Silly And Fun doesn't mean it's not doing the same thing.
"But you have to give it character dialogue and talk to it to train it!" Do you honest to god think that's the only data those sites use. Yknow how chatgpt scrapes a good chunk of the entire internet's worth of data and is still dumb as fuck? Yeah. That shits the bare minimum to even get it to be able to hold a conversation.
What you give it by feeding it dialogue and interacting with it gives it an idea of how it should talk, but without scraping tons and tons of stolen writing it wouldn't be able to really hold a conversation.
Not to mention just how bad all generative ai is for the environment. Just because it's cute and quirky doesn't change that.
"Just let people have their fun" a lot of you wouldnt say that to people making ai art or using chatgpt because for the exact shit I stated above. But because this is fun and nerdy and is a little less open about how much it's stealing you're ok with it.
If you (rightfully) didn't like it when this site decided to announce that it was selling blog data to midjourney but youre totally ok with character ai, you're a hypocrite.
Go read a fanfic or roleplay with a real person. Go support a real human's hard work, not a website likely scraping your fellow fandom-goers writing from ao3 just so you can sext the Plagiarism Machine.
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tinyboxxtink · 3 years ago
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"...So I Married A Monster" *Chapter 2*
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Chapter 1
Chapter 3
Man we just skipped the happy fun times here and went straight into the fire, didn't we? Zero to hundred REAL quick.
What can I say guys, writing is therapy. And I have a lot of demons.
Eventually we'll get some fluff....eventually. Maybe.
Tag List
@madamsnape921
@lolliepopsicle
@chasingeverybreakingwave
@milkshqke
@wanniiieeee
@gibbs274
@sassyada
@aprildecker-blog
@bookishfanfic
@stars-in-the-skies-world
@stars-trash-18
@omgsuperstarg
@objection-argumentative
@thatesqcrush
@shittanyy
@mrsrafaelbarba
@word-scribbless
@storiesofsvu
------------------
Rafael went to his car and began to think. He had to trust you would listen to what you said, if you loved him like he loved you, you would. But the thought that terrified him more than losing you right now was that William Lewis was back, and on the loose. He dialed Liv’s number as he sped back towards New York City.
“Liv,” He said very seriously as soon as she answered. “He’s back. Lewis is back,”
Meanwhile
You started to pull yourself together when you heard a small noise from the corner of the room. You saw Maggie standing there with her mouth open.
“Oh baby--” You stood up and walked over to her.
“Why was he saying that, mom?” She had lost her sassy demeanor, and was now just a scared little girl.
“I…” You put a hand on her shoulder. “I don’t know, baby girl,”
“I bet it’s because he’s jealous,” She scoffed, now resuming her angry flippant self. “He’s jealous dad is a better dude than him. I don’t know why--”
“We are not getting into this again, Margaret,” You used her full name, letting her know you meant business.
“You don’t…” Maggie paused. “You don’t believe him, do you mom?”
“What?” You blinked, trying to decide whether or not to answer honestly. Her big doe eyes looked at you, begging you to confirm that her dad was the man she thought he was.
“...No, of course not sweetie,” You shook your head and pulled her into a huge hug.
But you weren’t entirely sure at all.
-------------------
The Next Day In The SVU Office
Rafael and the squad had been working all night since he had made the call to Olivia. The squad room was now full of a corkboard full of all of William’s aliases, past transgressions, etc. Except now your name along with Maggie and Kylie’s names were added on a side stem, with “Billy Loomis?” written above it.
“So, you’re sure this chick hasn’t been helping William this whole time? Helping him hideout?” Fin asked Barba.
“What?” Rafael gasped. “No, not at all. No way,” He shook his head violently. “She didn’t even know who he was,”
“....Mmmhmm,” Fin gave the others a look.
“Look Fin I didn’t come here to here you insult my girlfriend--”
“Your girlfriend?” Nick asked. “Didn’t you say she kicked you out?”
“I don’t care, when she realizes--”
“And what if she doesn’t?” Olivia chimed in. “What if she does try to help him now?”
“Olivia!” He looked at her in betrayal. “Come on, you don’t think--”
“You said that he already convinced her to kick you out by just a few words on the phone,” Olivia pointed out. “Now that he knows you two are involved he is gonna try like hell to drive that wedge further and further,”
“But he won’t be able to if she finds out who he is,” Rafael rebutted.
“But if she won’t look, she won’t know,” Olivia stood her ground.
“She’ll look,” Rafael reiterated. “I know she will,”
----------------------
Back at your house
It was late at night, the girls were asleep and you were on your phone in your bed with a bottle of wine. You had brought a glass to bed with you, but you were drinking straight out of the bottle.
What Rafael said yesterday was eating at you. But what was eating at you more was the fact that you were starting to believe him over the man you had shared your life with for almost a decade, a man who you had two children with.
You looked at your phone which had your text thread with Rafael pulled up on it. You went through all the texts you had ever sent. The late night conversations, the little texts in the middle of the day just to say he missed you. He was so good to you, he always had been. He would never lie to you...would he?
You closed the text thread and opened up GOOGLE. You looked to the sky and asked God to forgive you for betraying the father of your children like this; but it had to be done. You typed in the name “WILLIAM LEWIS” and hit “SEARCH”.
---------------------------
At Rafael’s Home
Rafael was staring at the text thread between you from his own phone, rubbing the screen with his thumb. He wanted so badly to call you, but he knew he needed to trust you to do this on your own. Plus, he was sure you wouldn’t answer if he called anyway. While he was staring longingly at his phone, it lit up:
UNKNOWN NUMBER CALLING
He had a pit of dread forming in his stomach, but he answered the phone anyway.
“Hello?”
“Hello there, counselor,”
“How did you get this number?”
“My lovely wife gave it to me, obviously,”
“You’re lying,”
“Am I?”
“Yes, she wouldn’t do that,”
“Oh really?” He chuckled darkly. “You really think she cares about you that much?”
“I know she does,”
“Well, you know that’s really unfortunate for you, because you won’t see her or my kids again,”
“Why are you doing this?” Rafael asked. “Why do you even have a family? What are you going to do with them?!”
“What?” He laughed. “Nothing, counselor. I assure you,”
“Bullshit,”
“No actually, it’s not,” William explained. “Y’know after I had my little...adventure, in New York. I went off the grid. Wanted to live a normal life for a little while. And then I met Y/N,”
“Uh huh..” Rafael listened impatiently.
“And then I fell in love with her, and we had two beautiful girls. And I love those girls more than anything in this world, Barba,” He explained.
“You’re a fucking liar,” Rafael spit. “You don’t know how to love,”
“Believe it or not I do,” William smirked. “I just...don’t show it in a normal way,”
“Right,” Rafael rolled his eyes.
“Hey, look,” William defended. “I was in love with Y/N for a while, I really was. And then--”
“Then what?”
“Then, she got a little naggy,” William shrugged. “She got on my nerves, and I got that itch again,”
“That itch?”
“Y’know, that...itch,”
“You wanted to kill her,”
“I did,” William admitted. “But I figured killing mommy wouldn’t be something I could get past the kiddos, so I scratched that itch in other places,”
“She did say you travelled a lot…’for work’,” Rafael recalled a conversation he had about him before with you one time, in passing. If only he knew what he knew now.
“Yeah,” William chuckled to himself.
His ‘work’ was quite extensive. And it was exhausting trying to lead a double life, but he was being honest when he said he loved his girls. He really did. He loved them more than anything or anyone he had before, maybe ever. He’d never let anyone hurt them...or turn them against him.
“Anyhow,” He continued. “Y’know I may not be in love with Y/N anymore, but you know what I hate?”
“What?”
“People touching my things,” Lewis growled.
“She is not a THING, Lewis. She’s not even yours anymore,” Rafael yelled.
“See I know you’ve never been married Barba, so maybe you don’t understand this,” Lewis lowered his voice to an eerily calm manner. “But when you marry someone, in front of God and everyone you love, it creates a bond. An everlasting bond,”
“Oh give me a break--”
“And that bond, cannot be broken. ‘Till death do us part,”
“...Are you threatening her?” Rafael was vibrating with rage.
“No, of course not counselor,” William replied innocently. “However, if you were to help her break those vows….I might be forced to,”
“Excuse me?”
“Until death do us part, Barba,” William repeated. “That means either she stays faithful to me, or I’ll have to kill her,”
“Don’t you DARE touch her Lewis, do you hear me?!” Rafael’s blood was boiling.
“Well I won’t have to, as long as you leave her be,” William replied calmly.
“....You won’t get away with this,” Rafael growled.
“Oh I think I will,” William smirked. “Because if you send anyone after me, she will die,”
“You wouldn’t dare,” Rafael growled. “You just said your kids would--”
“So maybe mommy gets in a car wreck on the way home, or God forbid robbed in a parking lot!” Lewis taunted Rafael with an evil laugh.
“You’re the fucking devil, you know that?”
“Maybe, but I know I’m a man who gets what he wants,” Lewis chuckled. “I’ll let you go Barba, I know you’re a busy man. And remember, I’ll be watching!”
And with that he hung up on Rafael.
------------------
Almost immediately after hanging up with Lewis, Rafael’s phone lit up again.
Y/N CALLING
“Holy shit…” He blinked in disbelief at the phone. How did you know?
“...Y/N?”
“Rafa,” You tried to keep yourself from crying, you couldn’t wake up the girls. “Rafa I...I saw William Lewis,”
“Oh god,” Rafael put a hand over his head. “Baby, I am so, so--”
“No, I’m sorry,” You cut him off. “I should have listened to you, I should have googled him, not kicked you out,”
“You didn’t know…”
“No but you did, and I should have trusted you. That’s what you do when you--” You paused, never having had said it out loud before.
“....When you what?” He waited with bated breath.
“When you love someone,” You bit your lip, hoping it wasn’t too late to say.
“I knew it,” He smiled to himself. “I knew you loved me. I knew he was full of shit,”
“What do you mean he?” Your eyes quirked.
“Shit,” Rafael realized he misspoke. “Um, well--”
“He called you, didn’t he?” You asked.
“...He said you gave him my number,” Rafael confessed.
“I didn’t, I swear to God Rafa I didn’t,” Tears stung your eyes. “I-I don’t know how he--”
“It’s fine, carino,” He assured you. “He has his ways, I know that,”
“Okay…” You said softly, not really sure he believed you. Damn Billy. Damn him to hell.
“Speaking of ‘his ways’--,” Rafael added with an uncomfortable clearing of his throat.
Oh God. What was he going to say?
“He...we…” Rafael tried to get the words out, he really didn’t want to say them out loud.
“He what, Rafael?” You pressed him.
“He said that I can’t see you again,” He closed his eyes as the words fell out of his mouth.
“What?” You nearly dropped the wine bottle all over your sheets.
“I can’t--” He started to repeat himself.
“No,” You cut him off. “No that is not--” There was no way in hell Billy was going to keep you from Rafael, not now.
“He said he would kill you, Y/N,” Rafael said very pensively.
“Well why hasn’t he done it already?!” You raised your voice, quickly looking to the door to make sure the girls hadn’t heard you. They hadn’t.
“He said your kids wouldn’t forgive him, and he really does love them,” He relayed what Lewis had told him.
“Ugh,” You gagged. “I can’t believe that son of a--”
“Y/N I believe him,” Rafael interjected.
“About what?”
“All of it,” He sighed. “I...I think he really does love your daughters,”
“...Really?”
“Yeah, he said that’s why he left. He wanted to scratch his...itch, somewhere else,”
“Oh my god…” You wanted to vomit thinking about all the “business trips” Billy used to take. If you only knew what kind of “business” he was in.
“...And I also think he’ll be good on his word of having you killed,”
“Having me killed?” You snorted. “By who?”
“Guys like him, they know plenty of...dark people,” He rubbed his eyes, he was getting a headache from all of this worrying. “He probably has people watching your house right now,”
“No, there’s no--” You looked out your window and down the street. Nothing looked out of place, but now you were paranoid. “...There’s no way, I would notice. I’m pretty sure,”
“Look we may be worried about nothing,” The idea just occurred to Rafael’s mind.
“Nothing? Really?” You laughed sarcastically.
“Well look, if Lewis thinks that you believed him over me, just...just keep him thinking that,” He hated the idea of you pretending to still...like, Lewis but he needed you safe.
“You want me to just go about my life like I don’t know my ex-husband is a psychopath?!” You hissed, really attempting to keep your voice down. The girls definitely could not hear any of this. Ever.
“Just for now,” Rafael assured you.
“Do you really think he’ll think I chose to believe him over you?” You twirled your hair nervously.
“Well, I mean you didn’t--” He paused. “You’ve never mentioned me before, maybe he’ll just think we were a...a fling or something,”
“I was introducing you to my kids!” You cried. “I think that’s a little more than a fling,”
“Okay fair point,” Rafael shook his head. “But, it would make perfect sense that you would just believe him at his word that I was the bad guy, right? He’s the father of your children, I’m just some guy you were having sex with for a few months,”
“No you aren’t,” You bit back tears hearing him drag your relationship like that. “You know you’re more than that,”
“I mean for the sake of the lie, amor,” He said with a somewhat endearing tone. He liked the fact that you made sure he knew that was a bunch of shit.
“I guess,” You shrugged, still not liking the idea of having to shit on what you and Rafael had. Even if it was just acting. But you had to, for your life. And for your children’s lives.
“Rafael, what if he suspects something? What if he kidnaps the girls?” Your mind was racing with worst case scenarios.
“Y/N I’m telling you, if you just play it cool, he’ll never think anything else about this,” Rafael tried to comfort you through the phone, but he knew it was somewhat fruitless without him being able to touch and hold you.
“....And I’m just supposed to live like this?” You felt tears in your voice. “Just...just never see you again? After I just told you I--”
“Just for now, mi vida,” He tried not to to start crying himself. He had to be the strong one here. “Just until I can-- figure something else out,”
“...I just want you here,” You whimpered.
Your whimpers pierced his heart like a million knives. All he wanted in that moment was to be next to you, holding you while you cried. Protecting you with his life. But he knew in reality, this was how he had to protect you. And your girls.
“I know…” He nodded his head, a few tears dropping down his face. “I just want to be there,”
“...I-I need to go, it’s late. The girls will be getting up for school soon,” You wiped tears from your own face, putting the wine bottle back in your side table.
“Alright, mi amor,” He said softly, not really wanting to hang up. He didn’t know when the next time he’d be able to hear your voice was going to be, and he wanted every second he had left with you.
“Don’t…” He bit back the sobs in his tone. “Don’t call me, or text me. Wait for me to contact you, okay?”
“What?” Your voice went up a register higher. Now you didn’t want to hang up with him, if he was going to ghost you like this. “No, Raf please, we haven’t--”
“I know,” He rubbed his eyes. “I know we’ve never not talked for even a day, I know. And it’s going to kill me, just know that. You’re my best friend, Y/N,”
“Really?” You blinked in surprise. “Even over Olivia?”
“...Don’t tell her,” He cry-laughed. He knew that would be the last time he laughed for a while.
“You’re my best friend too, Rafael,” You were really crying now. “Ever since I met you, you’ve made my life better. And now I’ve gone and fucked it--"
“Hey,” He stopped you with a stern tone. “No. You didn’t do anything wrong here, you understand me? That’s-- that’s not why I’m cutting you off, okay? I’m not punishing you, please know that,”
“...I know,” You replied in a soft voice, almost like a little girl scared of the dark.
“Okay, good,” He breathed in relief. He couldn’t live with himself if you blamed yourself for this mess.
“I promise-- I swear to you, as soon as I think it’s safe I will come straight to you,” He promised. “The very second,”
“Okay,” You nodded in a more controlled, mature tone. You had to be strong now, you didn’t want him to think you were a blubbering idiot without him. You had survived three long years on your own, you could do it again. You hoped.
“I love you, Y/N,” Rafael repeated it for the third time that day. You wished you could record it and play it over and over again, falling asleep to it.
“I love you too Rafael,” You sniffled.
“...Talk soon,” He said softly, then hung up before he could change his mind about the whole thing.
You both cried yourself to sleep that night.
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hollandarling · 5 years ago
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hey so you know that gif you posted about making tom mad?? could you write a lil blurb about that where you’re either trying to make him jealous on purpose or it just happens accidentally??
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being a brat and getting THIS look??? oof you said LITTTLE bUt I couldnt stop alskdkdj I love this concept with my whole chest and did BOTH accidental and purposely so you’re in for a ride
((obv warnings for jealousy plus some sexual themes and swearing as per usual))
*********
“Harder! Faster! Give me all you got! Don’t go easy on me!”
Tom catches himself almost running around the corner of the gym’s wall at the man’s words—sneakers squeaking and all—coming to find you…boxing?
“Come on, push!”
You’re shifting your weight from one foot to the other, throwing sharp, loud hitting punches to a guy he’d never seen before, who, if you were asking his opinion, was far too into it.
You were glistening with sweat, in only a sports bra and a pair of spandex that Tom has never minded until this exact moment in time as he watches your “assets” bounce near some other dude’s face.
His jaw clenches. “Y/N,” he calls, voice anything but sweet, as he tries to grab your attention.
Your head whips around towards his direction, a big smile spreading across your face at the sight of your boyfriend and completely losing focus from your workout.
A pair of strong arms wrap around your body, forcibly pulling you flesh against them and into a headlock.
“See, this is what can happen when you let your guard down!” Your trainer teases, lightheartedly, but you know he’s got a point.
“Alright, alright. I tap out,” you half-choke while smacking his arm in three short bursts, getting released at the motion and feeling your lungs expand fully again.
You’re laughing, thanking your coach for a “wonderful” session, a descriptor that was not missed by Tom as he stood there with his blood boiling while you hand off your gloves—trying not to cause a scene in front of Mr. “Don’t let your guard down” after he blatantly pressed an arm into your chest and had your ass pressed against an area that he’d be lucky to keep after today.
You jog over to Tom, water bottle now in hand and you crash into him with a tight hug, on a high from the workout and wanting to hug his pouty face out of him.
You give him a quick peck on the lips, smiling big. “I’m so sorry, thanks for picking me up! I didn’t mean to keep you waiting, I wasn’t paying attention to the time—”
“—Clearly—”
“—I’ve just got to get my bag in the locker room and I can meet you out front, yeah?”
“No! I mean, no I can come with you, its no big deal.” He cringes, coming off all kinds of strong and miserably failing at acting casual about the situation.
“Alright…” You give him a quizzical look but don’t say anything else on the matter as you lead him to the co-ed locker room, rambling about the PR you hit today.
It’s not that Tom wasn’t proud of you, he was, he just couldn’t get that guy out of his mind and he’s interrupting you before he even realizes he’s speaking.
“So you got a new personal trainer, huh?” He glances around the deserted room, making sure no one else was around to hear.
“Oh yeah, his name’s Adam!” You chirp back, too pre-occupied with inputting the correct combo for your locker to notice his less than pleased expression.
“Huh. Adam.”
Now that got your attention. The typical short responses he saves for the occasions when he’s trying to be careful about what he says.
“Oh my god, this is what’s got you so worked up?” You roll your eyes over your shoulder at him and proceed to pull your belongings out of their safe space.
“He was all over you!” he defends, knowing he has a damn justifiable reason for being upset.
“No, he wasn’t! He’s a professional, Tom,” you argue. You know a creep when you see one and Adam was not that.
“Oh please, that was not professional!”
You turn to face him, eyes narrowing. “Do you not trust me?”
“Of course I trust you,” he assures. “But he was ogling you, I watched the whole thing! and you—you’re just—”
“I’m what, Tom? I’m half dressed, so what else are people going to look at?”
“NO—that’s not what I’m—”
“Then what? Is it bothering you that I was getting all hot and sweaty with him?”
Intended as being sarcastic, you quickly realize it was not taken that way as you watch him tightly cross his arms across his chest…you’ve struck a nerve. Tom is seething, biting into the inside of his cheek and doing everything he can to compose himself when you’re putting a mental image in his head like that.
You press, gaining a smirk as you speak. “Is it bothering you that he was holding me so close to him while I could hear him panting in my ear?”
Alright, bitch move, you’ll admit it. But watching his jaw shift forward as he steps closer to you lights a fire inside you that you can’t help but continue to feed.
Before you can even blink again, Tom is picking you up by your thighs and slamming you against the lockers with a loud clatter of metal shaking. Your gasp is swallowed by his mouth engulfing yours in the roughest kiss you’ve ever shared. You squeeze your legs tighter around his waist, fingers threading through his hair as he moves to nip at your neck. You yelp at the contact of his teeth, feeling a rush of adrenaline working its way through your body making each touch even hotter.
“Tom,” you breathe, only half convinced that you should even be saying anything in case this all comes to a screeching halt. “I’ve got to tell you—”
“Then you better fucking tell me now,” Tom growls, rattling you to your core and god does it feel good but your guilty conscious is a bitch.
“Adam—”
He stops, coming up for air, nose against yours and his black eyes remaining in extremely close proximity to your own. “You’re going to talk about him right now?” He was raging.
“No, no, you don’t understand.” Your chest is heaving, and you can barely get the words out. “He’s…not into girls. Like…at all.”
His eyes widen, growing softer. “You mean—”
“Not at all.” You feel his entire being light up and suddenly your back has left the lockers and he’s spinning you around with your legs latched tightly onto his hips.
He kisses you again, but this time, its an overwhelming amount of love and passion that’s fueling the kiss.
You can’t help but melt a little as the butterflies erupt from your stomach. God you love your jealous boy.
Tom breaks away reluctantly, and puts you back down on your own two feet. He reaches behind you and grabs your duffel bag off of the bench before leaning in close to your ear.
“I hope you know that we’re finishing this at home.” His voice low and raspy, sending shivers down your spine. Stated as a fact and not a question and shiiit were you into that.
He turns on his heel without another word and you can’t help but follow him out, giddy like a child and skipping along to catch up to him knowing you were going to get it good tonight.
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loki-hargreeves · 7 years ago
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Lucifer Morningstar Imagine - You See Him In His True Form
Quick note! All Lucifer imagines I write are from the show Lucifer. :)
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Your P.O.V.
''Lucifer!'' I yelled out my friend's name angrily as soon as the elevator doors slid open. I stepped into his penthouse and searched the dim lighten area for him. I found him by the big windows, dressed in a white button up, suspenders and a black bow and of course his fancy pants and shoes. ''Y/N, it's a pleasure to have you here'' He smiled slickly and walked towards me. He had no idea how mad I was at him.
     He had crossed lines many times but this time was different.
I was just about to break up properly with my boyfriend, now ex boyfriend Robin, with a good plan. I wanted to do it nicely so no one would get hurt but Lucifer here had taken matters into his own hands. As I got to Robin's apartment and he saw me, he slammed the door shut and started yelling the most bizarre things, such as ‘go away!’ ‘don’t come closer’ ‘please, leave’ ‘he’s bad Y/N’ ‘he’s going to kill me! Then you’ - those things didn’t clear things up. I just stood behind his door, worried as I listened. Damn, I nearly called my friend Chloe Decker, the detective. But what Robin had said next put the pieces together.
’He’s the devil!’ 
‘‘A vein will most certainly pop soon if you don’t relax. Has something happened?’‘ He noticed my anger as he got closer. Lucifer’s smug smile faded as he grabbed a bottle of wine and poured some into two glasses. Yes, I wanted to yell at him but something about this man made me feel things. He made me less angry, almost calm. When I was around him, I didn’t want my anger to control me. 
‘‘Well shouldn’t you know, Lucifer?’‘ I spat right back at him yet I took the glass of wine. In this moment, I needed it. Lucifer looked around and pretended to think of something. It just annoyed me. ‘‘What the hell did you do to Robin?’‘ I screeched out because I was sick and tired of his games. Suddenly, he looked like he remembered. I swear, it was really close that a real lightbulb would’ve appeared above his head.
‘’Right! The douche lover of yours’’ Lucifer chuckled and gladly sipped his drink. I rolled my eyes before closing them, finding it hard to contain myself. My blood was boiling from rage. He just had to be like this. He knew exactly what he was doing to me. ‘‘How are things by the way?’‘ He asked quickly since I used my time to calm down instead of talking.
‘‘Well, ex-lover now..I visited him only to find the guy scared to death. So, I'll ask you this one more time, what did you do?’‘ I looked him straight in the eyes. The air grew tense around us and I could tell he realised I wasn’t cool with this anymore. Lucifer clenched his jaw and then sighed, letting go of his childish play. 
‘‘Fine. I had some serious things to discuss with the capricious ass-’‘ He started but as soon as he used those annoying words, I groaned. ‘‘Can’t you even call him by his name?’‘ I broke his sentence. Yes, Lucifer and I were good friends. Trust me, although he was annoying the life out of me, we rarely fought. Tonight could be an exception. Something told me that neither of us would surrender or apologize easily.
‘‘Do you want me to speak or not?’‘ Lucifer raised his voice. It was a little scary but I couldn’t expect him to start yelling or throwing stuff. ‘‘Okay, go on’‘ I encouraged him and tasted the wine. ‘‘As I was saying, I went over to his lousy apartment just to have a chat. I confronted him about the things he had done, because truth be told Y/N, he is a jackass. I even got him to admit the things he had done to you, even got it on tape and all’‘ He smiled proudly as he told me his side of the story.
I couldn’t believe him. Yes, Robin had treated me bad once or twice but it wasn’t life threatening. ‘’Why was he so scared then?’’ I wanted to know. ‘’I might’ve given him a taste of his own medicine’’ Lucifer admitted like this was all a game. Before I had a say in it, he kept going. ‘’ That biscuit arsed chav deserved it tho’’ Lucifer defended himself. By now, I wasn’t sure what he had done but it was no good. Had he hit him? Or were they just throwing words at each other?
‘‘Did you ever stop to think that some of those words could easily describe you?’‘ I raised my eyebrow. Something about what I said pissed Lucifer off. He put his glass down and he walked even closer to me, so close I had to step back. ‘‘Don’t ever compare me to him’‘ He growled seriously. I was too angry to think about my own actions. ‘‘Well I just did. You’re just a freak, Lucifer! God, I don’t even know if that’s your real name!’‘ I screamed back at him.
‘‘Don’t mess dad into this!’‘ Lucifer yelled loudly. I just stared at him in disbelief. In the middle of our heated fight, he still brought up his ridiculous life story. ‘‘Are you for real?’‘ I breathed out. He just nodded back at me. A moment of silence fell between us. I had a thousand thoughts in my head but I wasn’t sure what to do. I thought that for once he would take our friendship seriously but no. He still went along with his story of being the devil.
‘‘I was wrong when I said you were similiar with Robin’‘ I started more calmly, feeling sad. ‘‘Well that’s reassuring to hear. He’s a truly nasty-’‘ He started to call Robin names again. ‘‘You’re exactly like him!’‘ I let him know darkly. It was something I yelled in the heat of the moment and I knew I couldn’t take it back. Something twisted in his eyes once those words left my red lips. Lucifer grabbed my shoulders and stared deeply into my eyes. It felt like a trance and I completely froze as I looked back at him. Then it happened.
His usually soft brown eyes turned bright red. The white in his eyes turned pitch black, making the red stand out more. It’s like he glitched in real life and the next second his skin was deep maroon and leather like. ‘’I’m nothing like him!’’ He growled in a very deep voice. His hair was gone. It was just him but in a devilish form. Just looking at him like this filled me with fear. I was terrified. As quickly as he turned into that beast, he got back to normal.
Shock took over me. I didn’t dare to move nor breathe. Tears stung my E/C eyes and my heart was beating so hard it nearly hurt. Soon I found my entire body quivering. We were both quiet until I dropped my glass on the floor. It made a loud breaking sound and the wine splattered across the floor. Fear had taken over me and my anger was long gone. 
‘‘P-Please..don’t..hurt me’‘I whimpered as realization sunk into me. I had been friends with the devil for a year. Recently I had a crush on the devil. All along, he had been telling me the truth. His grip on my shoulders loosened and I attempted to take a step away from him. Just perfectly, my heel slipped on the wine and I lost my balance, hitting the floor hard. I winced out in pain but I didn’t stay on the same spot. For fuck’s sake, he was the devil!
I pushed myself further away from him, getting glass shards into my skin. I didn’t care about the pain. I just wanted away from Lucifer. I saw how his anger faded as well. He stared at me in shock, almost sadly. It’s like he hadn’t planned to do that at all but it happened. I looked at him and let my tears ruin my makeup. I backed off so much that I was leaning against the wall. Then I started panicking.
My breath got uncontrollable and I was bleeding from my hands.’’Y/N’’ My name left his lips which hurt. I felt sick, mentally and physically. ‘’Y/N you’re bleeding’’ Lucifer noticed and walked up to me. ‘’No!’’ I managed to scream and then I gasped, desperate for air. My lungs felt heavy and I was helpless. Lucifer ignored my words and he got down on the floor with me. He grabbed my arm and looked closer at the wounds. He looked genuinely worried. 
And I was so scared that I was surprised I hadn’t passed out yet. ‘’I’ll take care of that, you’ll be fine’’ He said quietly as he looked down. He sounded scared and even sad. A part of me wanted to ask him what’s wrong, but I was taken by my fear. Would he kill me now that I knew?
‘‘Breathe! Okay?..Just breathe..I-I’ll call the detective. She can-’‘ He started rambling. Seeing someone else now would make things worse. So I had to gather my strength and try to find reassurance in the fact we had known each other for over a year. ‘‘Please, no’‘ I breathed out and sniffled. He looked at me and I saw that he was on the verge of tears. He was afraid of something.
‘‘What? Why not?’‘ He seemed confused. I just shook my head no. Suddenly I felt like a child and speaking would be too hard. ‘‘Y/N talk to me’‘ Lucifer tried to make me speak. It just made me sob louder and I lost it. I pulled my bloody hands back and covered my face, crying into my hands. Lucifer decided that he wouldn’t just stare at me and do nothing.
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. I grew tense but I didn’t fight him. The scent of his luxurious cologne reminded me of our good moments. I tried to focus on them instead of the horrible thoughts. Lucifer had never ever treated me bad and now I felt guilty for saying he was like Robin.
Who knows how long we sat on the floor. My wounds stopped bleeding as the blood congealed. My breathing turned slowly back to normal and I stopped quivering. Yes, I was aware that he was indeed the devil but I tried my best to think of him as Lucifer. Just Lucifer. The man who I knew well. Not the son of God that was casted out of heaven to rule hell. Hell!
‘‘I’m sorry’‘ I whispered after a small eternity. ‘‘No. I’m sorry’‘ Lucifer spoke soon after. I gulped because I was still really nervous. It made me nauseous. ‘‘I shouldn’t have lost control Y/N. Mortals find it hard to handle these things. I didn’t want you to find out this way’‘ He continued more calmly. His words started to make sense to me. He always said ‘mortals ‘when talking of people yadda yadda yadda. Everything made sense. He had been telling the truth all along. I had just never believed him.
‘‘So..y-you’re not going to kill me?’‘ I asked him with a small voice. Lucifer tensed up and he looked at me seriously. It’s like my question almost offended him. ‘‘Of course not! Why on earth would I ever do that?’‘ He wanted to know. Suddenly, he cupped my face softly and wiped away my tears with his warm thumb. It freaked me out to be here but I didn’t have any other place to go to. I’d just cry and go barmy.
‘‘I just- I can’t believe..You..’‘ I tried to form a sentence but I gave up since I didn’t make sense. ‘‘Come on, let’s get your hands fixed. You don’t want blood all over yourself’‘ Lucifer tried to lighten up the mood. He helped me stand up and then he took me to his bathroom. A part of me wanted to run off and never come back but another part of me wanted to stay.I had mixed feelings and I hated it.
He made me sit on the toilet, with the lid down, as he grabbed some rubbing alcohol and tweezers. Lucifer started to pluck out the glass and I winced every once in a while because it hurt. ‘’It’s okay love. I’m done soon’’ He reassured me as calmly as he could. As my own shock had faded a tad, I started to think more. Lucifer seemed sad that I knew. It’s like he was ashamed and worried, worried that I would ditch him forever. 
The longer I thought about it, the more comfortable I got. What would it change that I had seen him like that? He was still the same person, right? At least I truly hoped so.
Once he washed my wounds with the alcohol, I groaned in pain. ‘’Fuck’’ I hissed, trying my best to ignore it. He made sure he got every wound before throwing the cotton pad away. ‘’So, now what?’’ Lucifer sighed, knowing that we had to talk about everything. The fight was left undone but trust me, I wasn’t in the mood to fight. I could barely talk without messing up because I was freaked out.
‘‘I really don’t want to fight’‘ I admitted quietly.Lucifer nodded and for once, he seemed to take this seriously. It was a miracle. ‘‘How about you get comfortable in bed, in the good boring way, and sleep? You could probably use a good rest now’‘ He suggested and started to sound more like himself. I couldn’t help but to crack the slightest smile at him.
‘‘You can lend my shirt’‘ He added as he saw what I was wearing; heels and a bloody white shirt and jeans. I mouthed a ‘thank you’ as we walked out of the bathroom. He was right, I could truly use some rest after everything. My breakup had been harsh and during those rough times with Robin, I had grown feelings for Lucifer. I had been so mad at Luci and then I was scared to death. All those feelings overwhelmed me. 
Although, I had imagined this moment sometimes, I never thought I’d stay. I had never fully believed Lucifer’s stories but I couldn’t help but to think what if. I thought I’d run to the other side of the world and stay there with a gun beside me 24/7. I was wrong. Now I would be in his bed.
I had been so close to the devil himself all along.
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