#sorry guys i was not at a too good place mentally so i forgot to post whopsie

[samepictureofsnufkin]

[penkura]

where you belong [2/10]

Summary: As Luffy's big sister, you've viewed it to be your job to see him become King of the Pirates in place of your absent parents, even as you try to find where it is you belong in the world. You never really expected to draw the attention of Trafalgar Law in the process.

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x Fem!reader

Warnings: Discussion of feelings of abandonment, age gap relationship (four years), brief secret relationship, mentions and heavy refences to sex, mentions of alcohol, typical One Piece stuff. Other warnings to be added if needed.

Note: Sorry this has taken so long! I wanted to really progress these two and get some moments between them, so the chapter ended up bigger than planned! Next one is a good one I think. ;) Forgot to mention last time but Reader is going to be described as shorter than Law, and that height difference can be your own interpretation (I'm 5ft tall, these men would tower over me).

I am also FLOORED at how well received the first chapter was and that we've got a taglist for this series, my gosh. You guys are so sweet and wonderful!! If I missed you on the taglist PLEASE let me know and I will add you to the future chapters! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and the beginning of Law and Reader falling for each other!

Taglist:

@pinksaiyans | @sukunas-play-thing | @spiderlily-w1tch-blog | @mineymak | @valen-yamyam16 | @shimmerxc | @luffy0s | @fluffybunnyu | @laws-wife-things | @crmnic

[Ch. 1]

You spend the next week learning more about the Polar Tang and the Heart Pirates themselves, Law taking most of your time to help you get used to things. He's made sure you understand the basic rules of the ship, for his crew, including the boiler suits, and what do in case of certain emergencies. You’re going to be working on your poisons in his office, in case anything happens, he can help you fix it. You’re honestly grateful for the time everyone has taken to help you get your bearings straight and work out where things are. You’ll be sharing a room with Ikkaku, who is so glad to have another girl aboard for as long as you are. She’s already started sharing some gossip with you, pointing out those involved so you knew who was who on top of it all.

Penguin has been extremely kind and helpful, telling you that you’re welcome to join him for night watches once you tell him you spend a lot of time writing during your shifts on the Sunny.

Shachi and Uni both showed you around some of the major maintenance areas, both promising they’d help you learn the most basic things so you can be of help if needed.

You’re about to join Bepo for a quick navigation lesson before their captain calls you, wanting to discuss somethings with you before you got too far away.

Law, although he agreed to letting you stay with him and his crew, still isn’t entirely sure what to do with you. There’s still that strange feeling in his chest when you smile at him, as you thank him for all his help and allowing you to stay, once he brings you to his office again a few days later, and he waves you off.

“You don’t have to thank me constantly.”

“I know,” you smile again and he feels that feeling that’s been hanging around, but Law tries to ignore it, “I’m just…really grateful. I know my being here may be a burden—”

“Not a burden, you’re welcome here. Everyone’s glad you’re staying around for now.”

Hearing that makes you brighten up, as Law starts to question you more about what you do for the Straw Hats, and what you can bring to his crew in the meantime. You list off everything you’ve come to learn about being at sea from being a Straw Hat, Law making mental notes on other things to ask about later.

“Any other special talents we should know about?”

You start to think, pressing a finger to your chin while you do so. Another action Law has to tell himself isn’t cute, before you grin and lean in close to him, quietly speaking.

“I can see the dead.”

Complete silence as Law raises an eyebrow at you as you continue to grin, halfway expecting him to ask for proof. Ask you to tell him about a spirit that might be hanging around the Polar Tang, or around one his crewmembers, but he doesn’t ask anything, eventually returning to a straight face.

“No you can’t.”

“…okay fine, I can’t. It’d be cool though!”

He rolls his eyes, which makes you laugh in return. Law goes to let you out of his office which you oblige by, knowing he’s done talking with you now that you’ve made your joke. He stops you with a hand on your shoulder first, you giving him a questioning look.

“I’ll help you make antidotes for your poisons. But you won’t use my crew as test subjects.”

“Ha! That’s fine, I don’t test on people anyway, just in case. Just give me some fish and I can use those.”

Giving him another grin, you walk ahead saying Bepo was going to show you something next, but Law had rudely interrupted by wanting to know what you could bring to his crew for the next two years. You’ll promise later to make extra batches of antidote for him to keep in his medicine stockpile, while Law watches you hurry down the hall and sighs.

“That’s the wrong way.”

He’s quick to follow you, grabbing your arm and bringing you back the right way, deciding he’ll join you and Bepo for whatever it was you two were discussing next. He wants to ensure you’re being given correct information and know what to do in an emergency, especially so if you need medical attention.

Atta boy, Law.

If you really could see the dead, you’d have noticed the tall, blond man with makeup and a large, black feathered coat pushing Law towards you.

+!+

“We’re approaching a winter island, everyone needs to be ready to disembark for a bit and—”

“A winter island?!”

Your outburst causes Law to stop speaking with a nod at you, and you’re gone to the crew bunks in an instant, followed by Bepo who is just as excited. Law gives a look to Ikkaku and Uni, who you’d been talking to when he came in, and both simply shrug at him. They all briefly noticed a sparkle in your eyes as you ran off, likely to change clothes and get ready to disembark, but none of them knew your intent or real interest in the snow.

It's only when Law catches you by the exit door with Bepo, excitedly talking with the Polar bear mink about what you could do in the snow, all dressed up in your coat, thick pants, boots and gloves. You and Bepo trade ideas back and forth about what to build out of the snow, or if you can get a snowball fight started.

Law hasn’t seen someone so excited for snow in a long time, he thinks not since the last winter with Lami.

Penguin joins you and Bepo by the door next, throwing an arm around your shoulders and giving you a smile.

“What’re you so excited about some snow for?”

“It practically never snows in my home town! I think it snowed maybe twice while Luffy and I lived there? Chopper is from a winter island, so when we were there, it was so exciting!”

“Haha, I’m from the North Blue, so snow is pretty normal up there. Well…the area me and Shachi are from anyway.”

“Ah,” you give a little sigh but smile yourself, “I’m so jealous. What about Trafalgar?”

“That’s…well, kind of different, but we did meet him where we used to live,” looking over his shoulder, Penguin sees Law but leans into whisper, “Probably better if you ask him another time. It’s…a lot…”

Before you have a chance to question it, Law comes up behind Penguin and tells him to go ahead with opening the door, the Polar Tang should be stable enough for you all to leave now. You put that question into the back of your mind for later, instead running out with Bepo as soon as the door opens. The excitement both of you have is almost contagious, as the rest of the Heart Pirates slowly join you outside. While some of them are tasked with scoping out the island, the rest end up with you and Bepo building snowmen for a while, though you and the mink end up making a snow polar bear the best you can even if it looks a little goofy in the end. Some pieces are a little larger than others but you still think it’s cute, even as your companion bows his head apologetically.

“I’m sorry, [Y/N], I made some things a little too big.”

“No, that’s okay, Bepo! It gives it charm, I think he’s cute!”

You reassure Bepo a few times with a smile, before the two of you go to work with others on more snow sculptures. It goes well until you get hit in the face with a snowball, thrown by Hakugan at Shachi who dodged just in time. While it makes you sneeze a bit as you brush the snow off your face, with Bepo and Ikkaku yelling at Hakugan while he shouts apologies and Shachi nearly cackles, it doesn’t upset you at all really. Yeah it kind of hurt to have a snowball hit you in the face, but hey, you mentioned a snowball fight earlier, right?

Crouching down to gather up some snow, you put on a wicked grin and fling the ball at Hakugan yourself, catching him in the back as he turns away while you laugh.

“How about a warning next time?!”

“Yeah, snowball fight!!”

Most everyone joins in, gathering up all the snowballs they could or just throwing loose snow at each other, Law watches from the side, a slight smile on his face. He’s glad everyone can take a bit to relax and enjoy themselves, he’s not sure he’s seen his crew this excited about snow in a long time, even Shachi who grew up in the North Blue. Some of you group up to get an advantage over others, Law turns to ignoring the snowball fight as Penguin and Uni come back with what they found on the island.

All is well until Law is hit in the back of the head with a snowball, keeping himself upright but turning quickly to search through everyone and find who did it as you all quiet down seeing his glare. Not a single person looks him in the eye, but they all point to you, while you cover your mouth with your hand and try to stifle your laughter.

“S-Sorry, Trafalgar,” a giggle escapes you as you glance over to him, “I… I was… hehe… aiming for Penguin… honest!”

“Oh yeah…?” Law’s voice is low, he crouches down to scoop up some snow, locking eyes with you as yours widen and you turn to run, but realize it’s futile when Law uses his Shambles to catch up and grab you, shoving the snow he’d gathered into your coat and making you screech before everyone returns to the snowball fight.

“That’s cruel!!”

“Everyone get Captain, he’s cheating!’

While the rest of the Heart Pirates aim for Law, you and their captain are honed in on each other, trading blows from snowballs for the longest time, your personal goal to knock his hat off as payback for shoving snow down your back. Luckily you’re not the one to hit him hard enough to knock the spotted hat off, but you’re close enough to grab before he does, sticking it on your own head and playing keep away once Law realizes where it’s at.

“Looks good on me, huh, Trafalgar?! I might keep it!”

“The hell you will, that’s mine!”

Once Law catches you, he doesn’t let go until he’s snatched his hat back off your head and returned it to its rightful place, keeping a grip on your arm as he notices the sky starting to get darker. The rest of the crew has settled down, stopping at first to watch you and Law until a new snowfall began.

You forget for a few minutes that Law has a hold of your arm, it’s not uncomfortable, but you feel your heart pick up a bit from it.

“It’s pretty….the snowfall.”

He nods, finally noticing he still has a hold of you and letting go, disappointment flooding you as Law calls for everyone to return to the ship. Tomorrow will be a day in town to restock, you’ll all take off again afterwards.

You volunteer at dinner to make everyone the lavender milk tea that Makino once taught you, most of the crew enjoying it, but you’re especially surprised by Law liking it, even telling you so.

It's the small smile he gives when you thank him that makes you realize you just might be starting to get a crush on him.

+!+

Law knows something is up when you don’t join the rest of the Heart Pirates for a meeting before being let off the ship. He still does his job as captain, giving out duties to everyone so they knew what to do and who would be stocking supplies, who would be checking for wanted posters, and anything he felt needed to be done this time. He’d planned for you to join him on a once around the island to look for anything of interest, but when you don’t show up, he knows something must be wrong.

“Ikkaku-ya,” Law stops your roommate before she gets too far, Ikkaku giving him her full attention, “Where’s [Y/N]-ya?”

“Oh, um…” Ikkaku shuffles from one foot to the next, not fully looking at her captain and that’s what worries him more, until she speaks again, “She isn’t feeling well…she’s not sick so she doesn’t need a check-up but, it might be best to leave her alone today, probably tomorrow too…”

That leads to Law believing your cycle had started, and he chooses not to question it further, lest he or Ikkaku feel embarrassed about the discussion. He decides to leave you be, you’ll probably join them tomorrow for island exploring, most likely with Penguin if he asks you especially. When you do show up for dinner that evening, you’re quieter than usual and Law notices how Penguin and Ikkaku are the ones to talk with you. He can’t hear anything they say, but seeing you at least smile and respond to them is enough for him to think that everything is fine, you’re just not feeling 100% and that makes sense. He’s heard you and Ikkaku complain about cramps and the like the last few months, he already knows the first day is hard for you, so he lets it go. At least you’re out and talking to everyone.

But he knows something is up the next time it happens, not even two weeks later, and it can’t be blamed on your period this time. You don’t show up to a crew meeting, you still aren’t one of his crewmates but you’ve been joining for anything interesting or important, and Law doesn’t let it show that he's a little more worried, so he stops Penguin this time and asks him the same thing, where are you and why didn’t you show up?

Penguin doesn’t fully look at Law, scratching the back of his head as he tries to find the words.

“She…just isn’t up for it today, Cap. Maybe we should let her have the day off…”

Although Law tells Penguin that’s fine, he does go off to find you, the door to your and Ikkaku’s room barely open, but he knocks to make sure you’re not indecent or anything. There’s no answer so he opens the door, not seeing you anywhere, the new assumption being that you’re in the bathroom. He turns his attention there, again knocking on the door.

“[Y/N]-ya, Penguin-ya said you weren’t felling well, are you all right?”

No response, Law furrows his brow and knocks again, saying your name a little louder this time. He swears he hears a small whimper and a sob, and that’s what makes him finally open the bathroom door, simply saying he’s coming in before doing so, but he nearly freezes when he sees you.

Nearly curled up into a ball in the corner, head buried in your arms wrapped around your knees with numerous used tissues and he just knows that if you looked up at him, he’d feel that strange feeling in his chest again, or one of heartbreak, he isn’t entirely sure which one.

Law is not trying to scare you, but when he touches your hand and says your name a third time, it makes you jump and look up at him with wide, tear filled eyes, you feel beyond embarrassed that he’s caught you like this, but it quickly turns to more tears and a bit of anger.

“Are you—”

“Get out! Go away!!” Law barely dodges the box of tissues when you throw it at him, he’s not able to dodge the mascara you toss at his head as you keep yelling at him to leave. He doesn’t really move to leave until you stand up much too quickly and start pushing him out, he’s just surprised at your reaction to him finding you crying. “Leave me alone!!”

Once he’s out the door you almost slam it shut in his face and lock it, Law doesn’t know what to make of this really.

He can handle physical ailments, mental is a little harder for him but he’s working on it for his crew, yet emotional problems are not in his wheel house at all. He doesn’t really know why you’re locked in the bathroom, hiding in a corner crying, but that look on your face gave him an idea. He recognizes it from his own past, after his family and Flevance, then again after Corazon.

It was pure grief that was written on your face, definitely from your still fresh loss of Ace, and Law isn’t sure how to help you.

He doesn’t know if he should help you, you just might turn all your grief inward and ignore any hands held out for help, even from your new friends let alone him.

“Captain? Why are you…oh.”

Ikkaku finds Law still in your room several minutes later, staring at your bathroom door, until he hears her and looks at her, an expression she can’t read on his face.

“How long?”

“A few weeks now,” she sits on the edge of her bed, not looking at Law now, “It happens randomly it seems like, or something reminds her of Ace and sets her off. His birthday is soon, so that might be it right now. Penguin and I promised we wouldn’t let anyone know, so she could grieve alone.”

“Why was it being kept a secret?”

She shrugs a bit, Law isn’t sure he’s going to get many more answers today, but then Ikkaku speaks up again.

“She doesn’t want to burden anyone with her feelings, I guess. She should be fine by dinner, Captain, she just… needs some time.”

While she is correct, and you show up again at dinner looking normal but still with a sadness on your face that he can see, Law wonders if there’s something he can do to help you. Your need to grieve and have that time alone isn’t a bad thing, he won’t deny you that when you need it, but he wants to do something for you, he still doesn’t know you well enough to know that exactly you need, but anything is better than letting you be alone.

He knows all too well how that feels.

When it happens a third time, several weeks later, you don’t show up once again, Law doesn’t even need to look at Penguin or Ikkaku, they won’t meet his eyes anyway. After he lets everyone else go, his next mission is to find you, even though he knows exactly where you are. Law isn’t sure if his plan is going to work, but he wants you to stop hiding away from everyone when you break down. It’s not because he’s angry about it, he just doesn’t want you to continue suffering alone. It’s not good for anyone to do that.

He doesn’t even knock when he gets to your room, but does so when he sees your bathroom door is closed like the last time.

“[Y/N]-ya, I’m coming in.”

“No,” you force back a sob, making sure the door is locked, “Go away!”

“I won’t.”

You haven’t experienced all the abilities Law has at his disposal, but you aren’t that surprised when you see a blue hue, and he’s in the bathroom with you not even a moment later. He’s not phased by you attempting to throw things at him again, even while you yell at him to leave you alone, you don’t need help, you don’t need anyone right now.

You’ve handled things like this by yourself your whole life, why would need help now?

“I don’t need help!”

“I’m not trying to help.”

“Then lea—”

Law doesn’t give you much more room to talk, instead grabbing your wrist and pulling you into a hug, pressing your face into his chest which causes your eyes to widen a bit and tears to flow even more.

“I’m not trying to help,” Law holds you tightly, feeling a just a bit of relief as you slowly wrap your arms around him in return while you return to crying, “but you don’t have to be alone, all right?”

“T-Trafalgar…I…I just—”

“I know, I get it. But,” he knows it’s probably going to sound hypocritical based on his own issues, but Law still feels the need to say it again, “you don’t have to do this alone.”

Law isn’t entirely sure why he’s chosen to let you cry into him, let you grip onto his shirt like he’s the only thing holding you to the earth while you continue to cry and say how it isn’t fair that Ace died, that you lost another brother (he’s going to have to ask about that later, that’s the second time you’ve mentioned it). Maybe it’s because he didn’t have anyone back then, when he lost his own loved ones. It might be that, because he saw a reflection of himself in you the first time he found you hiding away and struggling to handle your grief. While you drag the two of you to the floor, Law simply adjusts to as comfortable a position he can, he’s at least sure you’ll both be there a while. You don’t show any signs of calming any time soon.

Law doesn’t know why he came after you, but once your cries fade to nothing, not even whimpers, he’s relieved to hear you speaking to him without being upset or between sobs of anger and sadness.

“I’m sorry…for crying all over your shirt again…”

“Don’t be. It’ll wash.”

Law strokes your hair a bit while you finally smile, nodding, before he helps you up off the floor. While you wash your face, Law directs you to not worry about helping anyone out with chores or sharing shifts today, he’s already split everything up among his crew, you’re under strict orders from the doctor to rest and recover from your breakdown. He does offer to bring you something to eat and drink, which you take him up on, stopping him before he fully leaves your room.

“Thank you…Law, I appreciate this…”

He’s completely aware that’s the first time you’ve used his first name, and he notices a different feeling in his chest. It’s not the same, almost heart squeeze he’s felt before, but something more comforting. Warm almost, and he’s starting to get it more.

“You’re welcome, [Y/N]-ya.”

Ah, that’s what it is…

Law realizes he’s starting to have feelings for you, though he decides to push them down for now.

He’s not going to use your weakened emotional state to push himself further into your life, not when he doesn’t even know if he’s okay with these feelings or not. For now, he’s going to do what he said and bring you some lunch, he’ll deal with these feelings later.

It is nice to hear you call him by his given name though.

+!+

“You’re as reckless as your brother.”

You giggle a bit while Law continues to wrap bandages around your arm, shooting you a small glare while you laugh. He’s not amused, mostly because it was him you’d tried to protect and ended up getting hurt over. You shoved him out of the way of an enemy attack, receiving a deep slice across your own arm instead. Once he realized what happened, Law was furious with you, even though he knows you aren’t part of his crew, it didn’t change the fact he was trying to protect you for Luffy while your crew was apart. You were lucky, he’d told you after he forced you to the infirmary, that your attacker’s weapon didn’t have any poison on it. You’d probably be dead before he even got you there if it had been.

You just grinned and said it was the opposite, your attacker was lucky your knife didn’t have poison on it, or he’d be in worse shape than he already was from your perfect aim hitting him between the shoulders. It doesn’t cause Law any relief to hear that, he still glares and it makes you start to shrink away, averting your gaze elsewhere.

You two still don’t know each other very well, it’s only been a few months since Luffy tossed you to him as the Heart Pirates left Amazon Lily. Still, you’ve found Law is fiercely protective of his crew, his family, just as you are with the Straw Hats, and while you’re with them, you count as one of his crewmembers.

The feelings you’ve started to develop for him don’t help much, Ikkaku being the only one who knows since you’ve told her how distraught you feel over it.

How could you start falling for a rival pirate captain? It’s only a crush but it makes you feel like you’re betraying your crew sometimes.

“Law, I’m fi—”

“And what if you weren’t?” He’s nearly grinding his teeth and ties off your bandage a little tighter than he intended, making you take a sharp breath. “What would you want me to tell your brother?”

You shrug, starting to play with the end of the bandages to distract yourself from him. “Could just tell him I protected you.”

“I don’t need you to protect me,” you jump when Law slams down the scissors on the metal plate, keeping his back to you so you don’t see how upset he really is, “My crew knows I don’t need it. They know to run if a battle might cost them their lives. Why can’t you see that?”

“Because I do this for my crewmates, too. I’ve even pushed Zoro and Sanji out of the way. I’m sorry if you don’t like it but—”

“Sorry wouldn’t bring you back from the dead.”

You both become silent, you taking a deep breath and holding it for a moment before nodding and biting your lip.

“You’re right…that’s why Ace isn’t back.”

“Hey, I didn’t—”

“Thanks for bandaging me up, Trafalgar,” Law turns around just as you jump off the table, going to leave, “I’ll see you at dinner.”

Law watches you leave, letting out a frustrated sigh once you’re gone. He really hadn’t meant to upset you, it just came out, but it was also the truth. What good was ‘sorry’ if you had died and he had to tell Luffy that he'd lost another sibling, this time a blood related one? He didn’t want to have to deal with that, not when you and Luffy were still getting over Ace’s death.

He gets it, he really does, that pain doesn’t go away quickly, no matter how many false smiles you give to him or the others, or how often you laugh with them. No matter how many times he finds you crying the bathroom over you grief. It hasn’t been that long, he doesn’t expect you to be whatever is normal for you so soon. He probably shouldn’t be berating you, you’re not part of his crew so he doesn’t have the right, Law isn’t your captain.

But, you’re under his care for two years, you’re a temporary member of his crew, so you should listen to him. You’re proving to be as stubborn as Luffy is, but also just as protective as Law is.

And your progress with him, ugh. You’d finally gotten comfortable enough to call him by his first name, and now you’re back to calling him Trafalgar instead. Seven months of progress down the drain all because he was concerned, worried about you being reckless.

…why am I so worried though?

He could easily chalk it up to the fact you’re Luffy’s sister and he’s trying to protect you until you’re back with your crew, or he could even say its because of the feelings he’s developed for you, but Law doesn’t want to get into that right now.

Neither of you speak until dinner, when you run into each other right outside the kitchen and start a back and forth about who should go in first.

“You’re the captain, sir.”

“Ladies first, miss.”

You don’t like being formal, or hearing him call you ‘miss’, but you don’t want to fight about it. Not when his crew can hear and might be concerned about it.

“Crew shouldn’t eat without their captain there.”

“We don’t have that rule around here.”

Eventually you relent and go first, getting your food and taking the first free seat by Ikkaku, Law sitting beside you a moment later. You don’t talk to each other the whole time, you focus on your conversation with Ikkaku while Law responds to anyone speaking to him. You barely even notice when Law takes the roll he really didn’t want to have on his plate, and moves it to yours, almost like a peace offering that you two are okay, he’s not mad at you for trying to protect him anymore. You do give him a smile when you notice, which he returns with a nod before leaving for his room.

You sigh a bit, looking back to your plate and keeping your smile to yourself.

Things will be okay.

+!+

Over the last nearly ten months, Law has learned a few of your quirks. When you work on your poisons, you mark things three times over to ensure you have the correct amounts listed, you almost always strike up conversation with him about anything that comes to mind, even if Law doesn’t answer you.

Sometimes he’s caught you biting your pencil or pen while making notes, it’s one of your cuter quirks.

On nights you can’t sleep, like tonight, he can easily find you in the kitchen, brewing up some tea to help you fall asleep, and that’s where Law decides he has to talk to you. You’ve both moved past your argument from a few months ago, it’s like it never happened now, but he feels the need to speak with you about something important.

No, not his feelings, he’s going to ignore those as long as possible. He recognized them after you’d had an emotional breakdown, he’s not going to admit that especially, he doesn’t want you to think he has a kink for crying or something, absolutely not.

“Hey.”

“Oh, hey, Law,” you look over your shoulder for a second with a smile, turning back to your tea, “Couldn’t sleep, though some tea might help.”

“Your usual then?”

Nodding, as you finish off your tea making, Law sits at the table and waits for you to join him, knowing you’ve made him a cup of lavender milk tea too. You’d started doing that and either taking it to his office before you head to bed or having him join you in the kitchen where you have small conversations before you both turn in for the night.

You’ve gotten quite comfortable with Law, your own feelings for him aside. He’s been helpful with your poison and antidote creations, ensuring your ratios are correct and helping you when they aren’t. You’ve started discussing books you’ve both read, you were shocked to find he enjoyed the Sora Warrior of the Sea comics. His being such a nerd over them never struck you as odd thankfully, Law even letting you borrow a few of his copies so you can give it a try yourself.

He makes you feel safe and comfortable, you really enjoy being with Law.

Law thanks you when you hand over the mug of tea, taking your seat across from him to enjoy your own, settling into a welcomed silence. With how rowdy his crew can be at times, you get why Law hides himself away in his office most of the time, and you’re grateful that he lets you share the space when needed.

“I know you said I didn’t have to,” Law looks over to you as you speak, an eyebrow raised, “but thank you again, for letting me stay. I really appreciate the help you’ve given me.”

“Like I’ve said, its no problem. Everyone’s glad you’re here.”

I’m more than glad you’re here.

There’s a soft smile on your face that Law enjoys seeing, and he honestly hopes you won’t lose it after he talks to you.

“I wanted…to tell you something.”

“Go for it,” setting your mug down on the table, you rest your elbows there with your chin in your hands, “I’m all ears, Law.”

He's almost fighting himself on if he should or shouldn’t, maybe another time. It’s late after all, you probably want to go to bed now that you’ve had your tea. It’s making him sleepy too, but the anxiety he feels is almost nullifying the tea’s effects.

Taking a deep breath, Law finally speaks up again, not meeting your eye.

“I want to tell you about my past,” that makes you perk up, remembering what Penguin had said to you months ago, “But I don’t think I can tonight. It’s…”

“A lot…?”

He nods, which you return, realizing this must be more than what Penguin could’ve meant, it has to be hard for Law to dredge up whatever memories he has of his childhood and teenage years, of everything that led him to where he is now.

Everything that’s leading him down the path he’s chosen.

“So,” when he finally looks up at you, you’re not surprised at how tired Law looks, it has to be taking a lot for him to do this, “I want to set a time in a few days, where you and I can sit, and I can tell you everything. “

You need to know before I could ever tell you my feelings anyway.

“Law,” Nodding, you quietly reach out your hand to his, not wanting to scare him off, “Just tell me whenever, and I’ll make myself available to listen, okay?”

After he agrees, Law offers to walk you back to your shared room with Ikkaku, which you take him up on even though you know the way. The Polar Tang is only so big, but it’s nice to have him by your side. Once you reach your door, Law turns to leave and you stop him, grabbing his shirt sleeve and leaning up, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, his eyes widening just a hair.

“Thanks for walking me…and trusting me, Law. See you in the morning.”

You don’t give him a chance to say anything in response before you enter your room and close the door, sighing heavily as you bring yourself to the floor, Ikkaku watching you from her bed.

“Man, you’ve got it bad for the captain, huh?”

“…it’s that obvious?”

“As obvious as the fact he’s the same for you, girlfriend.”

While you don’t believe Ikkaku is correct in that statement, Law isn’t able to bring himself to move for several minutes, frozen in shock that you decided to kiss his cheek and just run off to bed.

It looks like you’ve got more to talk about than just his past now.

[nena-la-fresa]

can i ask u a Josh Washigton x reader request? I would love to read an scenario were its the reader's birthday🥹

Keep It Warm

18+ Account | Minors DNI | Do NOT Follow, Like, or Comment | Pls have your age in your bio, if you do not I will automatically block you because I’ll assume you are a minor.

Pairing: Josh Washington x f! Reader

Warning: Fluff | A tiny bit of Angst | Mental Institution Mentioned | Birthday |

Word Count: 685

A/n: Hopefully this is okay. I feel like I can’t make a Josh fic without some sort of angst. Sorry it's super short. I have a lot of class assignments due this week so my focus is on that rn. Off topic but I'm thinking about making a Mr.Robot fic. Im back in my Rami Malek era.

“You are receiving a call from Ocean View Hospital. Would you like to accept?” 

“Yes.”

The line was then connected. 

“Hey sweetheart. How are you?” You could hear his sly look through the phone. 

You leaned against the wall fiddling with the hem of your shirt. 

“I’m good. How about yourself?” You missed hearing his voice. 

“I’m good now.” 

“Oh are you really?” 

“Yeah. I’m just glad I get to hear you talk. It’s a good distraction from all this.” 

“I’m glad I can distract you for a bit.” 

You had been friends with Josh since you both were little. You had always known something was a bit different with him. But it wasn’t until you both started dating that you had fully known the extent of his condition. Josh would wake up during the night screaming, he’d have a hard time recognizing you at times.

“So my birthday’s coming up.”

“It is, isn't it.” 

“Do you think you’ll finally be out by then?”

“I’m not too sure babe. But if I’m doing better by then you'll be the first to know.” 

You felt slightly disappointed but you knew he was in there to get the help he needed. 

That was 3 weeks ago. 

You hadn’t heard from Josh since that last phone call. He hadn’t been returning your letters or phone calls. You had begun to assume the worst. What if he didn’t want to talk to you anymore? Or what if he regressed? What if his meds stopped working. Even when you asked Hannah and Beth they hadn’t been able to contact him either. 

All you could think about was the day you found him. You could still see it. He was passed out on the floor. He was unresponsive for a good minute before you had to throw cold water on him. He was sobbing, saying how he wasn’t good enough for you. Saying that he didn’t deserve you. But those sobs quickly turned to anger, not at you but to whatever was talking around him. He swatted trying to get the voices away from him. But what really did it for him was when he accidentally hit you. The guilt that he felt, he didn’t mean it. He wasn’t aiming for you. He couldn’t even see you with his delusions tormenting him. That was what really made him commit himself. 

Hannah knew how upset you were but she thought it would be a good idea to take you to the cabin for your birthday. You had always said it was your favorite place to go. 

You and Hannah were already making your way to the cable cart, “Didn’t you say Beth was going to meet us here?” 

Hanna turned slightly to you, “Yeah, she got cold and just texted me that she was going to go ahead to the cabin.”

You nodded. After the walking you could finally see the cabin in sight. It was just as beautiful as you remembered it. Hannah held the door open for you as you walked in first. You felt your body jolt from the yelling. 

“Surprise!” Little poppers and kazoos echoed through the room. 

“Aw you guys.” You felt your eyes tear up a bit. From the excitement but also from the disappointment. Out of all the faces there, the one you wanted the most wasn’t there. 

You let out a surprised scream feeling someone picking you up from behind. As soon as you were set back down you saw who it was. 

Until you felt someone pick you up from behind 

It was him. 

“What did you think I forgot?”

You felt the tears run down your face. You nodded slightly.

"Now why would I forget about you."

You hugged him tightly, feeling his arms wrap around you.

“When did they let you out?”

“About three days ago.”

“Why didn't you tell me”

“I wanted to surprise you. I'm sorry”

“No, I'm just so happy. I’m so glad you’re here.”

“I promise I won’t miss another one.”

He wiped your tears, “I missed you so much. I’m sorry. I’ll do better. I promise.” 

[samwinchestersno1fan]

Home (00:09)- Sam Winchester x Fem!Reader

cw: fem!reader, smut, fluff, a little angst, exes to lovers (kind of), vaginal fingering, p in v sex, couch sex, kinda (really) awkward (sorry), no protection (wrap it before you tap it pls), reader is shorter than sam, not proof read, cross posted on ao3, 18+

word count: 2.3k+

---

You were sitting on the old, worn out couch in your apartment, reading some shitty lifestyle magazine with a half empty glass of wine on the coffee table and some trashy tv show on the tv for background noise. It was dark outside, the lighting in the apartment was warm and dim. Your cat was sleeping on the window ledge, the room was quiet except for the tv. You sighed as you turned the page of the magazine, stupid celebrity gossip, makeup ads, diet plans, what's in fashion for autumn. The same as the last issue except it was summer fashion. But you were bored so you kept reading. 

But you were pulled out of your trance when you heard a knock on the door. 

Someone was at the door? This late at night? It creeped you out a little. Who would be knocking on your door at this time?

You sighed and dropped the magazine on the coffee table, slowly walking towards the door, a little weary of who it could be. Serial killer? Probably not.

Hopefully not.

You opened the door, you forgot to lock it earlier. Wow. 

You looked up.

Oh God.

It was Sam. Sam Winchester. Your ex boyfriend. 

You hadn’t seen him in a long time. You broke up not long after his brother came along. Something to do with his dad. He didn’t go into detail. You didn’t take it well. Obviously, you loved him. You still maybe loved him. You wouldn’t admit that though. You tried to date other guys but it just never worked out. They weren’t him. 

But there he was. Standing right in front of you. Wow. 

He had left some stuff at your apartment. You lived together before the break up. He left some shirts, a hoodie, CDs, books, and his cologne. You kept hold of it all, embarrassingly. You didn’t want to throw it all out. You felt a little embarrassed and shameful about the fact that you just couldn’t move on. 

You looked up at him, he hadn’t changed much. Neither had you though. You just stared at him for a few seconds. Almost mesmerised. 

“Sam…” Your voice was quiet, a little weak. You didn’t really know what to say, but the tension between you was palpable. There were a lot of unresolved feelings. A lot of things you wanted to say and do. You wanted to punch him really hard but you also wanted to kiss him. Maybe both. Who shows up at their exes place randomly this late at night? 

“I… wanted to see you.”

You just stared up at him, a little dumbfounded. Did you want to let him in? Get mad at him? Kiss him? You couldn’t exactly think straight and it was really, really annoying you. Why couldn’t you just say something?

The tension was thick. You wanted to make a move. He wanted to make a move. Why did he have to show up? 

You were doing fine. 

You weren’t but you like to tell yourself that. 

You finally managed to say something.

“Why do you want to see me?”  You spoke without thinking, your tone was blunt and cold. You mentally beat yourself up for that. Way too standoffish and a bit too hostile. Not how you wanted this interaction to go. Wow. 

“I missed you.” Oh.

He missed you. After all this time he still missed you. Of course, you missed him too. It’s not like you broke up because you didn’t love each other. He just didn’t want you involved in all the shit that was going on in his life. You didn’t think he would break things off because of it though. But it was nice to know he still missed you… and maybe still wanted you. 

“Really?” You asked. You looked a little bewildered. But who wouldn’t? 

He nodded.

“Yeah.” His voice was quiet.

Okay. What were you supposed to do now? Invite him in? Yeah. Probably. 

“Do you, uh, wanna come in?” Wow. You sounded really awkward. Just what you wanted. Good job. 

He stared at you for a few seconds before answering.

“Uh, yeah, sure…” 

There was so much unresolved tension, it was eating away at you both. You moved to the side to let him in, his arm brushed yours. Oh God. It sent a shiver down your spine. It was an accident, he barely touched you but it sent sparks through you. 

The apartment was small, he stood next to the couch, kind of awkwardly. As if he’d never been there. But he used to live there. And it wasn’t awkward like this. Obviously. 

You walked over to Sam. You stood in front of him, you looked up into his eyes. He stared back. The Tension was killing you. Just do something. Kiss him. Punch him. Strangle him. Something.

“I really, really missed you. I’m sorry.” He had a look of regret on his face, it made you a little hopeful. Maybe, just maybe it could work out. 

“Do… Do you still want to… like… be with me?” That sounded really awkward and somewhat desperate. Wow. You had a hopeful look in your eyes. He had regret in his. 

He stayed quiet for a few seconds.

“Yeah…” 

Right. Of course he did. But what now? Do you make a move?

Yeah.

You hesitantly reached out a little to hold his hands. He almost instantly reciprocated. He pulled you in closer. This is what you wanted. But you were almost too stunned to really do anything. 

“You don’t mind if I… Uh…”

“Kiss me?” You said that maybe a little too quickly. You sounded desperate, which wasn’t how you wanted to sound but it came out that way anyway.  Probably because you actually were at this point. 

“Yeah.” He said, his voice was quiet and soft, almost a whisper. 

You could feel your face heat up when he said that. You moved a little closer, your bodies were touching now, he leaned down, you stood on your toes, your lips finally met. The kiss was soft and sweet. It didn’t last long. You missed this. It was exactly what you wanted. 

You both stared into each other's eyes before leaning in for another kiss, this time more passionate and deeper. Your hands let go of his hands, wrapping around his neck. Your bodies were pressed together, his arms moved around your waist. 

You pulled away to catch your breath, you let go of him. He let go of you. You took his hand and led him to the couch, he complied without a word. 

He was basically on top of you, your back was against the corner of the couch, he kissed you again, with the same passion as before. Your hands gripped his shoulders, one of his hands moved down to your hip. 

Sam started to trail kisses along your jawline, down to your neck. He began to bite and suck on your neck, you let out a blissful sigh, tilting your head back a little to give him more access. He bit down harder where your neck met your shoulder, you gasped softly, your grip on his shoulders tightened, your eyes closed. 

His hand slid down further, to the hem of the oversized shirt you were wearing. If you knew he was coming over you wouldn't have been wearing an old oversized shirt with nothing but your panties underneath but he didn’t care about that. He didn’t need you to be all dressed up for him. 

His fingers lightly grazed your inner thigh, right up to your panties. His fingers pressed against your heat. Your panties were soaked already, thanks to Sam, of course. You gasped again at the feeling. You hadn’t felt like this in a long time now. None of the other guys you’d been with could get you this worked up as easily as Sam could. None of them were as good as Sam. 

His long fingers rubbed your clit through the wet fabric, you moaned quietly. You tried not to be loud, the walls were thin. You both learned that pretty quickly when you first moved in. 

As good as it felt, it wasn’t enough, you wanted more. 

His fingers moved to the waistband of your panties. His movement stopped.

“Sam…” Your tone was whiny, you really, really wanted him.

He looked at you for a few seconds, like he was mesmerised by you. Then he suddenly spoke.

“You look really pretty.” 

You could feel your face heating up again.

“Thanks…” You mumbled, your voice was quiet, but you managed to keep eye contact with him. 

“You want this… right?” 

Obviously. 

“Yeah, of course.” 

He kept eye contact with you, your face felt hot.

He leaned in to kiss you again, his fingers slipped under the waistband of your panties. Your moan was muffled by the kiss. Two of his long fingers traced up and down your folds, Sam could feel how wet you were. And it was all for him. He continued to kiss you, his thumb rubbed your clit. It felt so good. It felt so good to have him back with you, kissing you, touching you like this. You hadn’t felt like that in a long time. It was just like before. You didn’t want this to end. 

He continued to kiss you, it was passionate but not hard or messy. It was perfect. One of his fingers dipped between your folds, into you. Another small noise you made was muffled by the kiss, after a moment, he dipped another finger in. Your eyes were closed, one of your hands moved up to the side of his face, holding him there. Making sure he wouldn’t disappear. Or leave again. 

Sam's fingers curled inside you, your back arched, it felt so good.

 So good.

He kept going, his thumb was still circling your clit, his fingers pumping inside you. He pulled away from the kiss to look at you. You were so close. You could feel that tight pressure and it was going to snap. 

And then it did. 

You threw your head back on the arm of the couch, your eyes were closed. You moaned, louder than before. Your breathing was heavy. He couldn’t stop staring at you. 

You finally caught your breath again, you looked into his eyes.

You didn’t want to sound completely desperate but you couldn’t help it.

“I need you, Sam…” Not want. Need. God, that sounded desperate and you almost hated yourself for it but you couldn’t help it. 

He nodded. Your hands moved to his shirt, your fingers began to unbutton it. He let you. When you were finished he pulled his shirt off, discarding it on the floor next to the couch. You ran your hands down his toned torso, all the way down to his belt. You could see just how much he wanted you. He was so hard. And it was because of you. 

You looked up at him again, he nodded slightly, you could see in his eyes just how much he needed this. You unbuckled his belt and undid the button on his jeans. Your hand went underneath the denim and you palmed him through his boxers. His breathing got heavier and he made a few quiet noises before grabbing your wrist and pulling your hand away.

You were confused for a moment when he got off the couch, but he quickly began to pull his jeans off. You watched him and removed your shirt, throwing it on the floor so that you were in nothing but your panties. No bra. You stared at him, taking in his toned form. 

He removed his boxers and moved back to the couch, over you again. His hands slid down your waist to your hips, his fingers curled under the waistband of your panties. You lifted your hips so he could pull them off. The apartment was cold, but it felt almost overwhelmingly warm at that moment, in the best way possible. Sam looked at you again, his pretty eyes staring right into yours. You knew what he wanted, you wanted it too. You nodded, your legs wrapped around his hips. 

He slowly entered you, he always started off slow. Once he had bottomed out he stayed still for a few moments until you asked him to move. 

He started off with slow thrusts, you gasped at the feeling. It was so good. He remembered exactly how you liked it. 

He started to speed up after a short while, your arms wrapped around him, you buried your face between his neck and his shoulder. Your breathing got heavier, your moans were muffled and quiet. He groaned quietly, keeping a steady pace as he thrusted into you. You shut your eyes, all you could think about was him. How amazing this felt. How you desperately wanted things to go back to how they were before. You missed him. 

He sped up a little more, one of his hands moved down to your clit, his fingers circling it. Your nails were digging into his back, your moans and whines got louder. You were close again. He knew that. 

Sam kept going at that pace, his fingers continued to circle your clit. You could feel that familiar pressure inside you again, you were close to a release. He was too. He let out a quiet, breathy moan. And it sounded so amazing knowing it was because of you. 

You finally felt that pressure inside you snap again, you moaned again, louder but it was still muffled because your face was buried between his neck and his shoulder. Your legs tightened around him, your nails were still digging into his back. His thrusts became less steady, he was close. 

“Come inside… please…” 

That’s all it took, your soft, quiet voice asking him to come inside you. You were starting to feel overstimulated, it was almost painful but in the most blissful way possible. 

He stayed inside you, your head fell back to the arm of the couch, looking up at him with hazy eyes. He leaned down to kiss you again, it was soft and gentle. 

It felt amazing to have him back here with you, in your apartment. 

You never wanted the moment to end.

[zxvmp]

DTF? (Denki x Fem!Reader)

summary: it’s the weekend, so you and your classmates decide to celebrate your off days partying. where would be a better place to party than the club? What you didn’t think would happen was hooking up with Kaminari.

tags: alcohol, underage drinking, smut, improper quirk usage, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it guys), vaginal sex, roughness, skin marking

a/n: not proof read, so sorry for any errors 😩

You scrambled through your dresser drawers looking for an outfit. If you were going out with your classmates, you wanted to look extra good. There weren’t many opportunities for you to dress up and look good, so you wanted to take advantage of this opportunity.

It was Mina’s idea to sneak out when Aizawa fell asleep. The club was your idea. It took a bunch of convincing Yaoyarozu to create fake ID’s for everyone. Not to mention getting Ida to not snitch. He agreed to be on watch out for you all in case Aizawa got up.

The plan was perfect.

You pulled out a short, skimpy bright red dress that looked like a stripper would wear. It shocked you that you even owned such a thing. You thought it was a bit too much, but you really didn’t have anything else. Plus, you were sure the other girls would wear similar things.

Once the hallways started to silence, you took the time to get ready and patiently wait for a text message. You wore your hair down with a slight curls at the ends. Your makeup was subtle, just mascara, blush, and lipgloss.

As your phone buzzed on your nightstand, you applied your finishing touches and checked your phone.

Mina 🩷

alr guyss

we’re in the clear! 😍

meet up in the front quickly!! (1:02 a.m.)

Kirishima 🪨

awesome 😎

i’m so pumped

Mineta 😐

me too 🤤

*Jirou, You, Yaoyarozu, Uraraka, & others disliked Minetas message*

You slid on white high-top converse and quietly opened your door. Since you didn’t own any heels, your converse were just going to have to do. Plus, you didn’t want to deal with sore ankles the next day.

The walk down to the front doors was difficult. Mostly because everyone was containing their laughter from trying to be quiet. It didn’t help that Denki accidentally tripped down the stairs, causing a loud bang to roar throughout the staircase.

Once you all made it to the front, Denki used small voltages to disable to cameras set up. After all of the cameras were disabled, you booked it towards the front gates where multiple taxis were parked. You made a mental note to thank Yaoyarozu for paying for them.

You ended up jn a taxi with Denki, Mina, and Kirishima. The four of you were known as the planners for party situations. It was a tight squeeze in the backseat, but you all managed. You were in between Mina and Denki.

To help pass time, you played mini games on your phone. As you played your games, you noticed you forgot to charge your phone. You let out a sad sigh and disregarded the low battery notification.

Denki heard your sigh and turned his head to notice your low battery. “I got you.” He pointed a finger at your phone and used his quirk to charge your phone.

You gave him a smile, “Thanks.”

He nodded and turned his head to continue talking to Kirishima. However, your eyes were left lingering on him. He wore a black dressed shirt that was slightly unbuttoned with a gold chain. For pants, he wore black baggy jeans. An all-black combo. His cologne entered your nostrils which made you start to realize how attractive Denki actually was. You knew he was hot, but tonight he looked better than usual.

Seeing him now really set something off in you.

“Whatcha lookin at?” Mina whispered, nudging you playfully.

You bit back a smile and nudged her back, “Stop.”

Mina giggled, “C’mon just say it’s already! You think he’s hot.”

Just before you could raise your hand to silence her, Kirishima caught your attention.

“Yo, we’re here!” Kirishima excitedly hopped out the car. Denki gave you a quick glance before hopping out shortly after.

You looked back at Mina and she raised and dropped her eyebrows playfully, making you roll your eyes.

As you scooted towards the door of the car, Denki stood outside with his hand out. You paused before taking his hand.

“What’s up with all these kind gestures? You’re usually always finding a way to annoy me.”

Denki laughed, “Who says i’m still not finding ways?”

You let out a small yelp and jolted at the sudden feeling of a shock. “Ow!”

While Denki was in a laughing state, you took your chance to activate your quirk. You raised your hand and summoned a water hand to follow your action. A loud slapping sound echoed throughout the crowd, causing some people to turn back and look at the two of you.

“OW! Mine did NOT hurt that much.” Denki rubbed his cheek and wiped a tear that formed in his eye.

You snickered, “C’mon, half of them already made it in.”

~

Loud music played throughout the club. You were already five shots in of the 10 minutes of being there.

“Damn (Y/N), you do this often?” Kirishima watched as you downed a shot, amazed at how you were in the lead.

You, Denki, Mina, Kirishima, Bakugo, and Yaoyarozu were all in a drinking competition. At first, it started off with the whole class. But after three shots, multiple people tapped out.

“Nope, maybe you guys are just lightweight.” You wink, finishing another shot. In truth, you really didn’t know how you were managing multiple shots.

Bakugo snatched the shot you were reaching for before you could grab it, “Shut you damn weirdo, I won’t allow you to beat me.”

You giggled, “Alright tough guy, I was about to tap out anyways.”

And thank god you did. While you watched the others compete to drink, it all hit you. You were cheering on Denki as it happened. In one blink, your vision became slower and you could feel your body become fuzzy.

“Damn, you guys look fucked up.” Mina laughed, nudging Kirishima to look.

“How many did you guys take?!” Kirishima burst out laughing.

You looked over at Denki and noticed his eyes were half-lidded and a drunk smirk was plastered on his lips. The two of you help eye contact before he broke it.

“Wayyy more than you.”

You giggled, “Yeah!”

“Whatever, i’m gonna go find someone to dance with.” Mina got up and disappeared into the large crowd of people.

You decided dancing was a good idea and began dragging Denki into the crowd without a thought. Flashing lights were displayed everywhere and you could feel strangers brush up against you every other second.

“Awe you wanna dance with me?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “I’m bored.”

At first, it started with the two of you singing your heart out to a justin beiber song. Mina probably managed to sneak in a song request because you knew it was her favorite song. Then, as the music began to drift off to other songs, you found yourself dancing against Denki.

His hands were rested on your hips while your back was against his stomach. You felt so free and loose drunk. It was amazing. Not to mention the rush of excitement you felt whenever you’d occasionally grind your ass against Denkis crotch. You could tell he enjoyed it from the way his grip on your hips would change.

You felt goosebumps form on your neck when you felt Denki kneel down to your level to rest his head on your shoulder. You turned your head slightly and caught his eyes.

In that moment, it was like everything around you was a blur. It was only you and Denki. His eyes traveled from your eyes to your lips. You felt the urge to kiss him. He must’ve felt the same thing, because he beat you to it.

His lips were on yours in an instant. You gasped into the kiss when you felt his hands slowly move around your body. The kiss escalated quickly. You turned around to wrap your arms around his neck for a better angle.

After a while, you both pulled away to catch your breath. You stared up into his yellow eyes admiring his handsome face. Behind his half-lidded eyes, you could tell his gaze was filled with lust. You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t aroused either.

A smirk formed on your lips, “Down to fuck?”

~

It was a risky gamble. As everyone began to head back to their dorm rooms, you managed to sneak into Denki’s unnoticed.

The second the two of you reached his room, your hands were all over each other. A trail of clothes and shoes were led up to his bed. Soft moans escaped your mouth as his mouth attacked your skin. One of his hands were placed beside your head while the other was slowly making its way down your thighs.

You gripped his forearm when you felt his middle finger run down your slit. His smirk deepens and you could he was enjoying every moment of this. He loved the way your facial expressions changed with each touch. It’s like he knew your weaknesses.

“Had a feeling you liked me.” He inserted his ring and middle finger, making you whine, “Tell me i’m wrong.”

“What…?” You breathe out. Your mind was focused on the way his fingers were plunging in and out of you. The alcohol in your system made you sensitive to any and every touch.

“C’mon, you don’t think I tease you all the time just for fun? I do it because I know you like it.” His pace increased, “I mean, when I didn’t hear you deny Mina, it all started to piece together.”

You were at a loss for words. You’d have to kill Mina later for her loud mouth.

“If you knew, why are you trying to get it out of me n-now?” You words were mushing together from the sensations you were feeling. Denkis fingers were curling up into you at a perfect angle.

He giggled, “I dunno, just wanted to hear it from you.”

Before you could say anything else, you were cut off by the waves of electricity coursing throughout your body. Denki placed his thumb on your clit and used his quirk to stimulate you more. You never thought such a feeling could make you feel so good.

A loud moan echoed in his room and you felt a knot form in your stomach. Through your blurred vision, you could see that Denki was in awe.

“Fuck..”

His lips crashed onto yours and you could feel another shock jolt your body. With a final thrust of his fingers, you came undone. Your release coated his fingers and you were almost embarrassed at the sight.

“Think you can take some more, pretty girl?” Denki brought his fingers up to his mouth to lick them clean.

Watching him do so sparked something in your body you never thought would. You nodded your head to his question as you calmed down from your high.

Denki had a pretty good size for a dick, much bigger than you imagined. Watching him slide in was definitely the highlight of your night. Both of you groaned in unison once he was fully in. You felt so full.

You threw your head back and closed your eyes once he began to thrust. He started of slow so the two of you could adjust to the euphoric feeling.

“Fuck—Denki, keep going.” You muttered in between quick breaths. He felt so good inside of you. It was a perfect fit.

He let in a sharp inhale when you clenched around him, “Whatever you say, angel.”

His nicknames made your heart swoon. Once his pace picked up, you clutched the bedsheets beneath you. The grip his hands had on your hips was brutal and sure to leave markings in the morning, but you didn’t care. Not when you felt like that.

Your breaths started to become erratic, and you could tell from the way his thrust started to become sloppy, he was close.

“Denki-”

He groaned, “Yes?”

“After this, what are we?”

He smiled and planted a kiss on your forehead, “Whatever you want us to be.”

You smiled and hooked your arms around his neck to bring him into a kiss. Denki brought a hand up to your cheek and traced circles with his thumb. You turned into mush under his touch. He was truly your weakness, and you were totally okay with that.

“Tell me if it’s too much, mkay?”

You nodded and unhooked your arms from his neck. His hands returned to your hips and you felt his pace pick up again. However, his thumb began to circle your clit with his quirk playing a role, sending you over the edge. You were a moaning mess.

The voltage of electricity had you seeing stars and feeling things you didn’t think you could ever achieve. No man has ever made you feel that way.

Nothing but moans and broken cries came out your mouth. Denki was enjoying every second of it. Hell, if he could hear you and watch you crumble like this everyday he’d do it in a heartbeat.

Without warning, your body began to spasm and an intense orgasm took over your body. Denki continued to thrust into you, chasing his own high.

“Ah—Denki!”

“I know babe, just give me a couple more seconds.”

Your mind went blank and your ears began to ring. After a couple minutes, you began to snap back to reality. Your eyes traveled down to see Denki cleaning your stomach with a T-shirt. You mentally thanked him for not finishing inside of you.

You snickered.

“What? It’s all I had.”

“Thank you, now let’s sleep. I’m exhausted.”

He tossed the dirty T-shirt to the side and crawled up next to you. You pulled a blanket over your bodies and slowly drifted off to sleep. You had a lot to discuss in the morning.

[1d1195]

Tuesday

I’m a sucker for protective Harry and exes to lovers sort of vibes.

Harry forgot that after they broke up he started sleeping on the side she did...for a while it smelled like her and as good as the break up was, he missed her and longed for her. Sleeping on her side made him feel closer to her. After a while, he forgot it wasn’t where he usually slept.

She was sitting in the coffee shop looking at her phone. Scrolling through the contacts was making her more anxious. It wasn’t super late—only nine. But it was dark out in the dead of winter and on Tuesday no less. She had class in the morning, and she didn’t want to bother anyone because she knew they had classes in the morning too.

When she closed this evening, she got a weird vibe from the guy hovering in the corner of the shop who kept asking her when she got off her shift and if she wanted to hang out afterwards. At the time she wasn’t alone, but she assured her coworker she would be fine—and was now regretting it. Something in the pit of her stomach was making her nervous. She didn’t want to go outside to her car, but it seemed a little dramatic.

So, she was scrolling through her (admittedly, not so very many) contacts deciding mentally if anyone was close enough that she was willing to bother. She was scrolling her way back to the top after her initial run through getting increasingly nervous as she crept back toward the A’s. If she made it back to the top, she wasn’t sure what she’d do at that point.

But it was the H’s that caught her attention.

“Fuck,” she whispered to literally no one but herself. Putting her hand on her forehead, she sighed. She didn’t want to call him. It had been two years since she last spoke to him. The chances of him even inhabiting the same apartment, a mere five-minute drive away, let alone the same town after he graduated and got a real job were slim to none. Plus, the idea he would answer her phone call at nine on a Tuesday night seemed downright laughable.

Honestly though, he was her only hope.

Biting her lip, she clicked on his name. It almost felt foreign. But something deep within her found it felt so familiar it was impossible to not feel at ease just listening to the sound of the phone ringing knowing he would be at the other end (if he would answer).

“Hello?” He asked. His voice sounded confused. She wasn’t surprised at his tone. It was insane for her to call him.

“Harry,” she said simply.

“Uh...hi, love,” it sounded loud wherever he was. She should have known Harry would be with people and living his life.

“Hi,” she said softly.

It was quiet for a moment other than the sound of whatever Harry was doing in the background. She thought about the last time they spoke. It had to have been right about when things ended. It wasn’t a bad breakup, but they didn’t really stay in touch. She saw pictures and updates on social media but Harry wasn’t all that active. She had no way of knowing a whole lot about his personal life—if he was seeing anyone...or anything like that.

“Love?” He said and the noise seemed to fade in the background of his concerned voice. “Y’okay?” He asked.

“Um...” she shook her head trying to remain focused and remember why she called her ex-boyfriend. “Er...yeah. M’fine...it’s just...” she sighed. “M’sorry. I shouldn’t have called. I’m just...I’m at work and...well I’m trying to leave but there was this guy and I got a weird feeling. But it’s stupid...and I just...there’s no one I know nearby, and I thought if you were still at your place close by then...” she shook her head hearing how ridiculous this all sounded. Bothering Harry on a Tuesday night for something that might not even happen. Her heart was fluttering. This was ridiculous. “Harry, I’m so sorry. This was a stupid phone call. There’s nothing wrong. I didn’t mean to bother you. I’ll be fine,” she said firmly gathering her belongings in her arms and steeling herself for the cold walk outside to her car.

“Oh...hey...” he frowned as he held the phone to his ear. “S’alright love. You’re not a bother,” he promised. “Are...are you inside still?” He asked. She could hear a flurry of movement on his end. There was a rustling of keys, and a few calls in the distance were yelled but she couldn’t make out the words.

“Yeah...but really, it’s fine. It’s late and I’m being ridiculous. I’m just going to—”

“M’still nearby,” he said quickly interrupting her. “Jus’...wait five minutes. I’ll be right there.”

For a moment she stilled and silenced her rationale and the convoluted reasoning in her head. “Really?” She asked, feeling relief course through her body. She didn’t even realize how stressed she was about the situation. The brave front for Harry slowly seemed to dissipate. There was no way she could know that Harry also recognized the worry in her voice.

“’Course, love,” he said easily. They were both quiet for a moment and she could hear the jingling of Harry’s keys, the unlocking of his car. “D’you want me t’stay on the phone with you?” He wondered.

She nodded, feeling comforted by Harry just breathing. Someone was coming to her rescue, even if she was being ridiculous. She didn’t even realize she nodded. But Harry didn’t get off the phone despite not knowing her answer. It was weird to be so content with Harry silently coming to her. With her eyes closed, she could almost picture Harry’s route. Hearing his blinker, the sound of the road...it was almost too much for her. Him just coming to her without so much as a real reason—just a feeling—was heartwarming. It made her miss him all over again.

When they dated, Harry was nothing less than perfect. He did everything with the utmost respect and chivalry. He was an amazing boyfriend and she adored him more than any other boyfriend she ever had. It broke her heart when they ended their relationship, truly. She reminded herself it wasn’t a bad break up. It was mature. They grew apart and Harry graduated, and things were ending. But she was still in school. Granted, now she was on the last of her classes and graduating the coming spring. Harry was out in the real world these last two years being perfect for whoever he worked for and for whoever he was dating.

“Hey love?” He asked gently. Her thoughts pulled back to the present. “M’parking right now. M’gonna come to the front, yeah? I’ll knock, okay?”

She nodded again, making her way from the back of the shop toward the front door. She could see Harry, phone pressed to his ear, looking just as she remembered him. Tall, lanky, and handsome as could be. Always. If she wasn’t so nervous, she would have ogled him for longer. She unlocked the door and let Harry in. “Hi,” she said softly.

“Hi,” he replied. “You alright, love?” He asked.

She nodded. “Yeah,” she didn’t sound alright, though.

He glanced out the doorway and his brow creased in the middle. He looked highly annoyed. “M’glad you called,” he said quietly.

“Thank you,” her voice was so small and quiet. She looked nervously through the front window seeing Harry’s car closest to the shop. “Would you mind walking me to my car?”

He nodded. “Course, love,” he promised easily.

“You really didn’t have to come,” she said. It was a phrase that sounded like she should be annoyed—even though she was the one that asked him here, in so many words. But Harry knew her. He knew she wasn’t annoyed. He knew she was scared and didn’t want to be a bother. She was annoyed that she bothered him, if anything.

He shook his head. “Nonsense, love. Don’t mind at all,” he kept glancing out the window then he turned his attention back to her. “M’gonna...” he rolled his lips into his mouth and then sighed. “Kitten, m’gonna hold you, alright?” He said softly. She glanced out the window again, trying to see around Harry, but he stepped in her view. It wasn’t good. He must have been out there. A shiver ran up her back and she let out a small, nervous noise that came from deep in her soul. “Don’t worry,” he shook his head quickly and kept her from seeing. He took her bag off her shoulder and put it on his own. She had her keys in her hand and she swallowed. “M’here,” he promised. “M’not going anywhere.”

*

Harry wrapped his arm around her waist, pressing his side fully to hers as they walked toward his car parked right next to hers. They were silent except for Harry quietly whispering directions toward her. “Are you alright t’drive?” She nodded silently. Harry opened her driver’s door. He waited for her to sit, and he physically blocked her view outside the door. “Are y’sure y’can drive?” She nodded. “Are y’still at the same place?” She nodded again.

Harry reached past her to settle her bag on her passenger seat.

“Love?” He questioned again. He was hesitant to ask his next question but the way she looked so nervous and scared had him reeling.

It also didn’t help there was a creep a mere 30 meters away from them waiting for her like she was bait. She turned to look at him, her breath shaky, her hands kept shaking too as they reached for her steering wheel.

“Y-yeah?”

“I want you t’come t’my place, yeah?”

She felt scared so she just nodded. “Okay.”

“Kitten, m’not gonna let anything happen t’you, okay? I promise.”

“Okay,” she nodded again but it felt a lot more right this time.

Pressing the lock button on her door, he gave her arm a gentle squeeze as she turned her car on. “M’gonna follow you so wait until m’in the car,” he said softly. She nodded once more.

*

Harry was fuming about all of it. Seeing her name pop up on his phone made him confused and worried. But nothing prepared him for the feeling of helplessness and worry he actually felt when he went to the coffee shop and saw her car and a one other car waiting for her to exit work. He hadn’t spoken to her in two years, but he didn’t want to think about what he would do if he found out something terrible happened to her. As he started his car looking toward her waiting to go Harry waved to her to indicate he was good to go.

Harry would murder him if he followed them.

Harry spoke to his phone. “Call Niall.”

The phone rang twice before he answered. “Harry, where did y’go?” Niall asked curiously.

“Everyone needs to leave,” Harry said.

“Harry, what are—”

“I don’t care what y’tell them, everyone needs t’be gone in the next three minutes.”

“Harry—”

“Niall! Jus’ get them out!”

“Okay, okay,” Niall said with a tone of defensiveness in his voice. “I’ll get them out.”

“Thank you, I’ll explain when I get there.”

Harry glanced in his rearview mirror and didn’t see anyone following him. But now Harry was paranoid, and he wouldn’t let anything happen to her. He called her again. “Hello?” She asked tentatively.

“Hey love. When y’park, I don’t want y’to get out. I’ll come around t’you, okay?”

“Okay,” she said softly. “Harry?” She whispered.

“Yeah, love?”

“Thank you,” the gratefulness was so thick on her voice Harry could have cried. What if he didn’t see her call? Or what if he decided not to answer? He was worried about things that weren’t but the idea of something happening to her made him feel sick.

“M’really glad you called,” he promised.

She didn’t say anything again. He felt so bad she was so nervous and worked up. She wasn’t one to need saving. She usually did most of the saving her friend group. She was the one with an extra hair tie or a stain stick at restaurants. She never let anyone be hungry or thirsty. If someone didn’t have medicine handy, they could ask her. She was the one that did the saving. She wasn’t the one that needed it. Rarely did she ever ask for help. Asking Harry was not only huge for her, but it meant she really needed it.

When she started downplaying how nervous she was on the phone, Harry thought how terrifying it was that she never needed anyone. Especially for a situation like this. He thought for two seconds what would have happened if her instincts were right, if Harry did ignore her worries, or if she convinced him that she was alright.

Harry quickly brushed those thoughts aside. “Do y’want me t’stay on the phone?” He asked her this earlier. Just like before there was no answer, but he knew she nodded. So, he stayed quietly on the phone listening to her breathing, the sound of her directional, and the road.

There were several cars passing as they pulled up toward Harry and Niall’s place. Harry was grateful Niall got everyone out. “Okay, love, stay put,” he said hanging up as he hurried out of his parked car to her driver’s seat.

Niall was standing on the front stoop waiting to see what Harry was so worked up about. When Harry opened the driver’s door and ushered her out Niall finally understood. “Must have skipped my last eye appointment, is that you princess?” Niall said cheerfully and hurried to give her a hug. It was a bit awkward though because Harry wouldn’t release one of her hands.

“D’you need anything else?” He asked ignoring Niall’s greeting.

“Uh...there’s a bag in my trunk,” she said softly. “I can get it in a minute—” Harry finally released her hand and headed back for her car.

“What brings you here this evening?” Niall asked.

“Oh...uh...” she swallowed. “It was nothing really,” she said shyly. Niall glanced at Harry’s embittered expression. He could see it halfway across their yard while she looked at the ground before looking back at Niall. “I actually think I overreacted and I didn’t know who else to call—”

“She did not overreact,” Harry said simply closing her car up and then coming to her to put a hand on her lower back. He ushered her toward the door. “She’s gonna stay tonight,” Harry told Niall.

Niall blinked then raised his eyebrows in surprise. “What about—”

“No,” he said simply, shaking his head and pushing her more toward the front.

“Harry, that’s not necessary...I think I can—”

“No,” he repeated.

There wasn’t room to argue.

*

She said goodnight to Niall and Harry continued ushering her into his room. It was the same as before except he moved the bed to the middle of the wall and changed the position of the dresser and the desk in his room. “D’you have clothes or d’you need clothes?”

“I don’t have uh...clothes to wear to bed—”

“Here,” he said quickly and opened the drawer. “Think y’left these here,” he said handing her a pair of leggings that she had lost years ago. It made her feel confused that he kept them folded neatly in a drawer readily available. She wondered if he let other women wear them. She honestly didn’t care. She was glad they were getting some use.

Harry assumed she was questioning the fact he kept her leggings in a drawer folded neatly. He offered them to a girl staying over every now and again. Gem even wore them on occasion. Harry didn’t need to read her mind, to know she was probably happy to help some stranger when they were over and needed something comfy to sleep in. “And y’can wear this,” he said and tossed her a long sleeve shirt that had a logo on it she hadn’t seen before.

“What’s this?” She asked curiously looking at the logo. It wasn’t really the time, but she was potentially in shock and Harry wasn’t going to let that happen, so he just answered her.

“The company I work for,” he shrugged and pulled his shirt over her head.

She dated Harry for two years, so she was used to seeing Harry naked. But not seeing him for two years and for him to casually pull his shirt over his head...well, she missed seeing him. “You got new tattoos,” she said suddenly.

Harry smirked for the first time all night and he paused with his arms in his shirt, but he held off on tugging the shirt over his head. “Uh...jus’ a few,” he said quietly. “One for m’godson, another one for Gem, one ‘cause I drank a little too much one night,” he said shyly.

Harry looked at her gentle smile and thought he would melt. She was all stressed and worked up and so was Harry, but she was beautiful. There were no ifs, ands, or buts about it. If Harry wasn’t so nervous about her safety, he would have reveled a bit longer in how much he missed her voice and suddenly hearing it woke some part of him that he thought was long gone. The part of him that was hers.

Harry opened the door again. “Hey Ni,” he called. “You still do her skincare routine?”

She let out a huffed little laugh thinking about the night she showed Niall and Harry all the steps to having a clean face before bed making sure to prevent wrinkles and damage to the only skin they had. Harry thought it was too many steps, but Niall was smitten with the routine and asked her no less than fifty questions about what he needed to do to have baby soft skin. Harry was grateful now that it was going to pay in tenfold, because he could make her feel at home and have Niall comfort her for a few moments while he fixed up his room. “Yeah! Princess, you want to share?” He called.

Harry looked at her and then opened the door wider. “All yours,” he said softly.

She took the borrowed clothes and nodded. “Thank you,” she whispered again.

Harry watched her walk to the shared bathroom and Niall followed in behind her to show where he kept everything, but he caught Harry’s eye as he entered quirking one eyebrow at him. Harry shook his head and left the pair to their spa treatment.

Harry’s phone vibrated as he propped up the pillows and got a few more blankets for the sweet girl from his closet. For someone that always ran much too hot, she always wanted more blankets to sleep in at night. He was planning on offering to sleep on the floor or the couch, but he knew she would deny it immediately and probably offer to do it herself. Of course, Harry wasn’t about to let that happen so they would have to settle for sharing. He glanced at the name on his phone and sighed.

Do you want me to come over? Harry felt guilty but he shouldn’t have. It was an arrangement they had agreed upon, and they both knew it.

Not tonight.

Oh. Okay.

Sorry.

No, it’s fine. Just surprised. Everything alright?

Yeah.

Okay.

Harry stopped answering. She deserved more...and if Harry had a little bit better self-esteem maybe he would realize he deserved more too.

There was a knock outside his room. “Y’don’t need t’knock, kitten,” he said with an eye roll as he pulled the covers back for the two of them. Harry heard his door click shut.

“Well...it’s sort of ridiculous that I’m even here, and I feel bad intruding and making you even—”

“Love,” he said turning toward her. She was in his shirt and her leggings now. She settled the clothes she was wearing with her stuff, and she looked toward Harry with so much trust in her eyes Harry wanted to cry. He was so thankful she called him. So thankful she trusted her gut and glad he could help her. “I am so glad y’called me,” he said softly. “You’re not intruding or anything,” he promised. “M’glad you’re here.”

She bit her lip and nodded. “Okay,” she said softly. “Thank you,” she repeated again.

Harry gestured to the bed. “I was gonna offer t’sleep on the floor or the couch—”

“Absolutely not.”

He continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “—But I already knew y’wouldn’t care for that, and I won’t let y’do that either so...” he said and gestured to the bed again.

She couldn’t argue with him so she grabbed her bag and pulled it toward the side of the bed she was used to sleeping on. However, Harry forgot that after they broke up he started sleeping on the side she did...for a while it smelled like her and as good as the break up was, he missed her and longed for her. Sleeping on her side made him feel closer to her. After a while, he forgot it wasn’t where he usually slept. But for tonight, he would have to go back to his side. Harry settled into his bed, pulling the blankets up over him as he scrolled on his phone. It was eerie how comfortable they could get into a routine that was very much the same as the one they used to have.

“Do you mind if I just...finish my essay really quick?” She asked softly.

“Take your time, love,” he nodded easily. “How is school?” He inquired.

She nodded. Harry watched her as she pulled her laptop from her bag and opened it. “It’s good. I’m almost done...I have an internship a couple days a week and they’ve offered me a job when I officially graduate.”

“Kitten, that’s awesome,” he smiled. “Congratulations,” it was so heartfelt it made her stomach flutter.

“How is this place?” She asked, pointing to the logo on her shirt. “Have you been there this whole time?”

“Yeah, I have. It’s a great place. I like it. It’s quiet. I get t’keep t’myself mostly. M’told I’m better than the last guy they had,” Harry chuckled.

She smiled and nodded. “That doesn’t surprise me.”

Harry felt his face warm. “What are you working on now?” He wondered.

“It’s for my history of psychology class,” she said. Harry was always dumbfounded she wanted to be a psychologist but rarely looked at how her own behavior was maddening every now and again. Like tonight when she was willingly about to put her life in danger for some creep because she didn’t want to bother Harry. “Just relating different philosophies to a disorder over time and how the founders of these philosophies would have approached it.”

“Cool,” Harry smiled. “Do you like it still?”

“Very much,” she nodded. “Except,” she sighed. “This keeps happening,” she showed him her computer. “I’m sorry,” she said. She hated asking Harry about tech. It never bothered him. He was happy to help her, and he gave her tips to better the lifespan of her devices. She knew he would probably still look at it for her, even after all these years.

He tilted his head and sat up more and looked at the blue crash screen analyzing the codes it presented. “Hold on,” he mumbled turning into his IT self and googling the code from his phone. “How often does it do this?”

“Err...like once a day.”

“Kitten,” he admonished. She knew better than that after all of his tips and tricks. “May I?” He asked. She handed it to him.

“I can’t really afford a new laptop right now. My dad said he would get me one when I graduated in a month,” she shrugged.

“How is your family?” He asked while he fiddled with her computer.

“Good,” she nodded. “How’s yours?”

“They’re good. Gemma visits frequently,” he smirked.

“That’s nice, tell her I said hello.”

He was busy clicking through her screens and checking settings on her computers that she didn’t know existed. “Y’should really clean this,” he murmured.

“Er...m’not sure how...you always did it for me,” she reminded him.

He chuckled. “Fair enough, I can do it in the morning if y’have time.”

“I have class at eight,” she told him.

He shrugged. “S’okay...m’usually up at five.”

“Five?” She asked in surprise. “Harry, it’s so late, you should be asleep,” she said with concern in her voice.

He shrugged. “S’okay. Niall and I usually have movie night with friends on Tuesdays,” he said. “S’pretty early t’be in bed right now, on a regular Tuesday night, for me.”

“I interrupted movie night?” She asked quietly.

“That’s what y’took from that?” He smirked.

She was silent for a few moments. “He was out there, wasn’t he? Waiting for me?” She whispered.

Harry didn’t want to answer her question. “Yes.” She nodded and swallowed around a lump in her throat. Biting the inside of her cheek she looked at her hands while Harry took his gaze from her computer to look back at her. “Kitten,” he said softly. “It’s okay.”

“What if you couldn’t have—”

“Love, don’t. I was there. S’okay,” he promised.

“But you might not have been able to...and you shouldn’t have—”

“Baby,” he said softly and put her laptop on the floor beside him. He turned to face her, and he reached for her cheek. He rubbed his thumb over her soft skin. He could feel her melting into the touch and it reminded him of every time he ever touched her and how much he missed that. They were so different now. Older, wiser. Harry still adored her so very much, seeing her name was the first time he thought of her in months and months. Hearing her voice was like hearing a song he forgot about, and it sounded like hearing it for the first time and it sounded so much like angels he was wondering if tripped down the steps of his house and died. Touching her, even if he felt she was in danger, was like magic. It changed something in him. It was familiar and new and all at once. Holding her was warmth and light, something he had forgotten about until that moment. Even in a situation he didn’t want to be in. “I would do anything for you.”

“Still?” She asked with a snort before she could stop it.

Harry rolled his eyes. He brushed his thumb over her cheek again; he would do it all night rather than sleep and then work a full week. If this was the last time he saw her, touched her, smelled her, he would do it for just another minute. “If y’need me, love...that’s...a big deal. Yeah...I would do anything for you.”

“We’re not even together,” she whispered. “Actually...I think you have a girlfriend.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” he shook his head.

“You’re seeing someone?”

He sighed. “Kitten, I don’t care about anyone but you, right now.”

“I can’t in good conscience—”

“Love, m’not seeing anyone. That’s it,” he said with a touch of frustration in his voice. She was quiet another moment.

“Harry?” She whispered.

“What, kitten?”

“I think I’m going to cry.”

“Oh, love,” he cooed and pulled her toward him. She started to cry and Harry held her against his chest and while he hated the way her tears soaked his shirt, he was so glad he was there to comfort her.

*

She was anxiously walking into the coffee shop the next day. She knew the chances of him being there again after he was clearly rejected were slim. It didn’t quell her nerves though, as she walked into the shop.

As she settled her things in the back and came to the front to clock in on the register and begin taking orders, she finally noticed the curly brunet locks cozied up in the corner of the shop in an armchair with a book in hand and computer bag at his feet. She blinked. Doing a double take between the customer waiting to place his order and Harry, sitting quietly in the corner, focused on his book and unaware it seemed that she was at work.

As she made the drink requested, she looked at Harry and then her coworker. “Did you see Harry come in?” She asked.

She glanced over at the corner. “Yes.”

There was no more discussion.

*

At the end of her shift, she went over to Harry in the corner halfway through his book. “Why are you here?”

“I told you I’d do anything for you, love,” he said gently, earmarking his page and closing the book. “Ready t’go?”

She bit her lip and nodded. He stood up, gathering his things and headed for the door.

*

When Harry came to her shifts over the next week, she thought that this was over the top. He didn’t say anything, didn’t offer any explanation, he was just there. When they left he tucked her neatly into her car and followed her home before she entered her apartment and waved goodbye from the front entrance.

On Sunday, she anticipated seeing Harry in the corner at some point in her morning shift, but instead she was slightly disappointed by not seeing him. She got used to seeing him and more than that wanted to see him.

So when she got into her car and locked her doors before she pulled her phone out.

“’Lo?”

“Are you mad at me?” She asked.

“Kitten?” He responded. It sounded like he was suddenly awake out of nowhere.

“You didn’t come to—”

“Are y’alright? Did he come back?”

“No!” She shook her head as she answered hurriedly. “I’m fine...I just...”

“Love, m’sorry. I...I had something t’do this morning, I figured—”

All at once she felt like the biggest idiot in the world. “Oh my God,” she whispered and covered her eyes. Thank God she didn’t video chat Harry. Thank God she was alone in her car and no one could see the bright red cheeks she was sporting. “Oh my God. Harry. I’m so sorry. I...oh my God,” she shook her head.

Hearing her worried tone, Harry hurried away from his morning plans. “Angel, are you okay?” He repeated. “I can come be there in ten minutes, love. M’worried that—"

“No, m’fine. Really. Please this is mortifying. You're very obviously with someone...and...I’m fine,” she told him. “I feel like—”

"Love, m'not with anyone. Haven't been since we started talking again. Kitten, I want t’see y’too,” he promised. “I’ll be home in ‘bout an hour. Does that work for you?” She nodded, feeling ridiculous as ever. Harry couldn’t see her nodding. But he knew she was. “An hour,” he promised. “I’ll see you then, love.”

*

She felt stupid once more as she pulled up to Harry’s place and noted Niall’s car wasn’t there, fortunately. At the very least her humiliation would remain just between herself and Harry. Harry met her in the yard almost as soon as he saw her pull up. “I was worried y’were lying,” he admitted and stuffed his hands in his pockets looking at her as she walked toward him.

“I wouldn’t lie to you,” she promised crossing her arms in front of her.

“Good,” he smiled gently. “Then...is everything alright?”

“I missed you,” she whispered quietly.

“Yeah?” He murmured.

“Yeah,” she nodded not making eye contact.

Harry tilted her chin up and rubbed the pad of his thumb over her lip. “I missed you more,” he said so cutely she could have turned into a puddle of love and mush on his front yard.

“Yeah?” She asked.

“Yeah,” he nodded and smiled at her. It was so adorable, so utterly Harry, and made her want to throw herself at him and never let him go.

So she did.

[megamindsecretlair]

Run it Back

Pairing: Tyrone x Black!Fem!reader / Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, Daddy kink, pet names. You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. Smut, PWP, cursing, PIV, oral (male receiving), cum play, possession kink, size kink, breeding kink if you squint, all consensual. Degradation/Praise kink.

Summary: You forgot to check in with Tyrone and he calls while you're at the club. You rush home to apologize properly.

Word Count: 2,603k

A/N: Oh look, I'm zooted and feral again. This was so hot. I had a lot of fun writing it! Thank you all so much for all of your support and for reading! Goodness, how did this taglist get so big? ILY FRFR. Likes are always awesome. Please consider commenting and reblogging to help support writers!

Taglist: @planetblaque @dayjlovesromance @sevikasblackgf @melaninpov @amyhennessyhouse @henneseyhoe @wakandas-vibranium @honeyoriginalz @justheretostan @black-fairy3 @superhoeva @jarfulloftears @hereformiles @montysstuffs @westside-rot @blackerthings @blowmymbackout @euphoric05 @miyuhpapayuh @nicolexnight @8ttached @judymfmoody

You dug your phone out of your purse as you danced to the music in the club. You were too turned up and had been having a blast with your friends, turning away guys but accepting the free drinks. Tyrone’s name flashed on your phone and you stopped dancing. 

Your friend noticed and elbowed you to get your attention. You waved her off. Your stomach turned sour. Maybe you shouldn’t have had that third drink. Or was it the fourth? 

“Hey, baby,” you said. 

“The hell you at?” Tyrone’s voice was like a punch through the phone. He was mad. Scratch that. He was furious with you. 

“Um, I’m a little busy,” you said. You knew he could hear the thumping music. There was no need to tell him where. 

“You know what time it is?” He asked. 

You looked at the screen on your phone. Shit! You were  way, way past the time you told him you’d be home. You didn’t even text him to say you were staying longer. He loved that you were independent but it killed him when you were reckless with your safety. 

“Baby, I’m sorry. We started dancing and they played all of my songs. You know like–”

“If you’re not here in ten minutes, I’m comin’ for that ass,” he snapped. 

“Wait, I’m farther than that,” you said. Mentally, you thought about the route to your place with Tyrone. Even if you broke all of the traffic laws on your way over, there was no way to make it in ten minutes. The dread in your stomach gave way to hefty need. Your core ached and the hairs on the back of your neck raised. 

“Nine minutes,” he said. 

He hung up the phone and you got up. You didn’t say goodbye to your friends or stop long enough to breathe. You rushed out of the club and raced to your car. Your heart thumped in your chest and your hands shook. 

You pulled out of your space and pulled into late LA traffic. They said New York was the City that Never Sleeps. So LA must be the City that Never Learns to Fuckin’ Drive. A car honked at you as if you were the problem. If a muthafucka ain’t got their headlights on, how the fuck you supposed to see them? 

You made it home, barely legally. There were too many close turns and random cars enough to spook you. You thought you were going to get into an accident. But the closer you made it to Crenshaw, the more the traffic died down. Hood people knew when to take they asses home. 

You straightened out your outfit as you got to the door. His car was still in the driveway. You wondered if he really would have come to the club and scooped you up. You didn’t need that embarrassment. 

You got inside and listened out for where Tyrone may be. The living room and kitchen beyond were dark. You didn’t see a light upstairs either. Surely, he would have waited until you were inside, right? 

A light popped on to your left and you jumped. Fear mixed with desire until you shook a bit. Tyrone sat in his favorite chair in the living room. A recliner that you both picked out. But more so him. He kept eyeing it and you knew that he never treated himself. His mind was always on the hustle and more money. You were trying to buff that rough edge of him. It wasn’t easy, but baby steps. 

His hand was on his knee while the other propped up his head. The light had a thin shade so it covered a good portion of him. The other side was cast in shadow, giving him an eerie look. 

You bit your lip and fought off shivers. If you thought you were needy before, you were downright feral as you looked at your man. Sometimes, you simply watched him. Watched the way he moved. The slow way he walked, his big hands, his wide smile, and his fine lips. His hair needed a little touching up. You made a mental note to do that for him tomorrow.

“Hey baby,” you said.

“Don’t ‘hey baby’ me. The fuck you doing out this late?” He asked.

“I didn’t look at the time!” You said. 

“That’s not good enough. You think I like yelling at you?” He asked. He wasn’t really yelling. He never truly yelled. His voice went up in volume, that was about it. Tyrone held his anger inside. As if he were fueling his own angry battery. 

“No! I’m sorry! I’ll do better,” you said. 

“What you say?” 

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” you said. That didn’t seem to appease him. He stared at you. He was still as a statue. Then his tongue darted out to lick his lips.

“Bust me this nut and maybe I’ll believe you,” he said. He crooked his fingers at you. 

You took off your jacket and threw it onto the sofa next to you. You tossed your purse on top. You had chosen to wear a dress and you were so happy you did. You kept your heels on and slowly got to your knees.

You crawled across carpet. It was a short distance to his knees. He spread them as you got closer. You kept your eyes trained on him but in your peripheral, you saw his sweats tent up. 

You stopped and knelt in front of him. You rubbed his knees as he looked down at you. “Get it nice and wet for me,” he said. 

You leaned up further and started to untie his sweats. You could feel your arousal soaking your panties already. Your inner thighs tingled. You freed him and his dick twitched. You stroked him, always marveling at how it was both soft and hard. 

Precum leaked on the tip and you ran your tongue over it. You were not supposed to be attracted to dicks. They were gross. And men hardly took care of themselves as it is. But Tyrone at least cared about hygiene. His hairs tickled your nose as you sucked him in.

Tyrone groaned and threw his head back. He settled further into the chair. You grabbed his meaty thighs and took in as much of him as you could. Your loud and filthy slurping noises filled the room. Tyrone moaned and it only turned you on more. You were doing this to him. And he was loving it. 

His hands dug into your hair and gripped your head. He pulled you down further on his dick and you gagged a bit on him. You tapped his thigh twice. He let up some so that you could finally breathe. You tapped him once to let him know that you were okay now.

He continued to fuck your mouth. He once told you that he didn’t know which he loved more: filling your mouth with dick or sliding into the wet, hot heat of your cunt. Watching your eyes tear up or watching his dick disappear inside you. There were so many good options. 

“Fuck, this mouth is good for somethin’,” he said.

Your pussy fluttered at the backhanded compliment. He was such an ass. A cocky muthafucka that ain’t never been told no twice. But fuck he was delicious. The line of his neck was visible since his head was thrown back. His eyes were closed and his mouth was slack. 

You swirled your tongue around his slit while your hands worked him up and down. He twitched at the added sensation. There was enough of your spit to slide between your fingers and coat him while he drove into your mouth. 

“Naw, I wanna cum in my pussy,” he said. He stood up abruptly and picked you up under your arms. You squealed. He knows you hated being picked up like that. You were a chunky girl your whole life. You wanted to quit it, but it didn’t want to quit you. You loved your body. You’d much rather have your gorgeous ass than be stick thin. Every blue moon, your insecurities flared up. You didn’t want him to strain something trying to lift you.

He’d only tell you to mind yo’ damn business. While he proceeded to pick you up any time he wanted. Especially in the bedroom. He made it his personal mission to toss you around as much as he could. 

He dropped you onto his recliner. Your hands and knees dug unto the leather. It faintly smelled like him. Clean, earthy. Tyrone bunched up your dress in one hand. He leaned down and grabbed your ass cheeks. He wiggled them a bit and then gave it a light smack. Your pussy clenched and you moaned a little bit. 

“You know Daddy worries about you, right?” He asked. He ripped your panties and slid inside of you in one powerful thrust and your head dropped to the chair. Your mouth dropped open in a silent scream. He stretched you out. You were ready for him but fuck, that sweet middle between pleasure and pain had you in a vise grip. 

You nodded to answer his questions. “I’m sorry Daddy,” you said. 

He smacked your ass, hard. You flinched and cried out. “I don’t believe you,” he said. He smacked your ass again and you nearly jumped off of the couch. 

You started to beg him to forgive you. It truly had been a mistake. “You did this shit on purpose, didn’t you?” He didn’t let you answer. He smacked your ass again and kept smacking you. Your ass was on fire. The wind from his hand was starting to hurt you more than the slap did. 

You relaxed and sagged against him. Once you were relaxed, he started to move again. He slammed into you hard and the momentum drove you into the chair. You felt every inch of him. The veins on his dick tickled the walls of your pussy.

“Fuck, you’re so deep,” you said. It was like the tip of his cock pressed up against your soul. He touched that deep, aching core of you. He hit it just right and continued to hit it. Your ass slapped against his thighs. 

You didn’t know if your moans were louder or if his were. His thumbs dug into the top of your ass and you keened. 

“Yeah, that’s it. Show me how sorry you are,” he said. “Let me hear it, mama.” 

You gave him every sound you were capable of producing. Every moan and sigh. When he hit it how you liked, you made all kinds of incoherent sounds. Your body would jerk and twitch. He liked when you could barely shriek because he felt so good. 

Your hand reached down to rub your clit. You were so close. You just needed something else. Tyrone’s hand came out of nowhere to slap your ass. “Shit!” You yelled. 

Tyrone sucked his teeth and hit you again. “Move yo fuckin’ hand. Don’t touch my shit,” he said. He grabbed your wayward hand and brought it up behind your back. He bunched up your dress again and held it and your hand against your back.

He pushed into you more until your ass was the only thing in the air. He somehow slid deeper and you cried out. Your orgasm whipped through you, dragging you under and higher and inside out. Your eyes were clenched shut as you rode wave after wave.

Tyrone continued to chase his own orgasm. Your walls squeezed him and he twitched. He unloaded inside of you. He filled you up still. His hot cum pulsing inside of you. You felt a bit of him leak out and you groaned at the sensation. He stroked another few times before finally stopping and panting. 

Your erratic breaths matched his and you both tried to come down. Tyrone pulled out and you both groaned at the sensation. He spread your ass cheeks so that he could watch himself leak out of you. 

Your ass was still cresting the edge of pain. His fingers dug into it, making the pain flare in random bursts. You were so fucked out. You would have agreed to a twenty-four seven bodyguard if it meant that you never had to leave this headspace.

“You got the prettiest fuckin’ pussy,” he growled. He brought his hand up to rub along your clit and pussy. He pushed a finger inside of you and you moaned. 

“Turn over,” he said.

He helped you get off of the recliner and then position yourself on your back. He gripped your thighs and pulled you to the edge. He bent down and entered you once more. “Can’t get enough of this shit, huh? You need more don’t you?”

“Yes, Daddy, fuck,” you moaned. You peeked over your boobs to watch some of him slip inside you. When he pulled out, he was coated into your juices. Glistening in the low light with it. Then he’d slide back into you and you threw your head back. 

He had your hands pinned to the armrests and your knees crooked on either side of his arms. You couldn’t touch him. And more importantly, you couldn’t touch yourself. 

“You owe me a few more,” he said. He pounded inside of you. You jerked from his powerful thrusts. Sweat gathered on his forehead. He leaned down and gave you a bruising kiss. His lips were warm and inviting. He pulled away before you could really enjoy it.

“Good girls get kisses. Yo ass been bad as fuck tonight,” he said.

That only made you wetter. He noticed and moaned. He leaned forward putting all of his weight on you. You were almost folded in half. You choked on the lack of adequate air but he was pounding into you and you just had to take it.

You had to take his thick cock however he wanted to give it to you. “Daddy, please,” you begged. You sniffled as your arousal built higher and higher. You tensed for half a second. That second seemed to stretch as you balanced on the precipice. Like a drop of water on the faucet after you turn off the water. You knew it was going to fall, it was only a matter of when.

You came with a loud scream, moaning in his ear. “Tyrone!” You yelled. He bit your neck, your shoulder, and licked away the sting. He kissed the sensitive spot below your ear. 

He came right after you. It was like you were in sync. Hot jets of cum filled you up once more. You were truly a soaked mess right now. His cum slipped out of your pussy and dribbled onto your ass cheeks. The sensation was slow and tickled a bit. 

He rubbed your sides and your thighs as you both calmed down. He nuzzled your neck. He kissed your cheek. 

“I ain’t even half done with you yet,” he said. 

You shook your head back and forth. “I can’t, Daddy,” you whined. You didn’t have the strength for another one. He lightly tapped the side of your face until you opened your eyes and looked at him. 

“Naw, you can give me some more,” he said. He leaned down and bit your ear. You shuddered and clenched around him. “Be a good girl for me and take this dick.”

You nodded. Well, when he put it that way…

He pulled out of you. Then he went back in slowly. It was going to be a long night.

&&&

A/N: If you enjoyed this, there's more here: The Secret Tyrone Files

[prettyykarmaa]

Snacks and a Stream

GN!Reader x Naib Subedar

Summary - You go out to get some snacks at your local convenience store, and run into someone unexpected.

WC - 1,508 (this was only supposed to be ~500 words...)

Author’s Note(s) - I was watching “Falling Into Your Smile” on Netflix, so you can imagine what my inspiration for this fic is. Also there might be some inaccuracies involving streaming and Twitch, so sorry if I get something wrong!

Team OPH was about to go live in about half an hour, and you were more than ready to watch. The last few days have been rather busy, so you haven't had the chance to tune into any of their streams until now. You drag your cursor to Naib's profile and click on it. Out of the four members, you tended to gravitate towards his streams—a lot.

If someone were to ask why, you'd tell them that you find his dedication and skills as a rescuer impressive. His position wasn't one many people liked to fulfill, but he always took it seriously, even in more laid-back matches. He was like the embodiment of the saying, "No man left behind." It was hard not to admire that.

The second reason wasn't something you would admit as readily. You preferred streamers who were on the quieter side, and Naib embodied that trait. Despite not talking as much as the other OPH members, he still made his streams engaging in their own right. The black hair and dark-coloured eyes combo certainly didn't help either. Were you developing a tiny crush on him? You didn't want to think about that.

Shaking yourself out of your thoughts, you look back to the countdown on Naib's stream. There were twenty minutes to go. The wheels of your chair roll as you slide over to your snack drawer. You might as well have one, or a couple, before it starts. Opening it up, you're met with a disappointing sight.

Nothing was inside. There wasn't even a half-opened package. A small sigh escapes you as you remember what happened. The last time you opened this drawer, you were binging a show that had sat on your watchlist for far too long and completely blew through your entire stash during it. You forgot to buy more, which left you to deal with the outcome tonight. Dusk had already passed, evident by the moonlight shining through your window, but that wouldn't stop you from going out to buy a few.

Slipping on a hoodie, you're out the door in a heartbeat. Cold, night air immediately nips at your cheeks as you walk to the convenience store nearby. Even though it was quiet outside, there were the faint noises of crickets or cars passing by to break it up. You end up at the parking lot after taking a right turn. Its storefront sign glows brightly, bathing the concrete at your feet in vibrant colours. You pull on the door handle of the store and step inside.

The familiar entry chime plays overhead. Focused on returning home before Naib's stream starts, you speedwalk to the snack aisle, passing by someone wearing white in the aisle over. Your eyes land on the whole purpose of this trip. All kinds of snacks lined the rows. You start to grab the usual. Chips, chocolate, and candy. When you feel like you have enough to last the night, you carefully walk to the checkout.

The cashier watches you place the snacks on the counter and begins to quietly scan them. When he finishes scanning the last one, the cashier looks up at you. "$14.17 is your total." You have to stop yourself from wincing, so you give him a weak nod instead. Reaching into your pockets, you realize you have forgotten your wallet. As you're mentally debating what to do now, you feel a light tap on your shoulder. Turning around, you're met with the last guy you'd expect to see in person. Ever.

Naib Subedar.

It was hard to say what had you more speechless. Naib looked good on his streams, but that did not compare to seeing him in real life. A hat sat comfortably on his head, resting on his raven locks. The streamer's outfit was pretty casual, except for his white varsity jacket, with OPH's designs emblazoned onto it. The other thing that caught your attention was much more humorous. Naib had three family-sized bags of chips in his nestled in his arms. You recall hearing Luca talking about Naib's affinity for the food in one of his streams. Seeing it firsthand, however, was as surprising as it was amusing.

"Can I?" Naib says, his gaze flickering from the snacks on the counter to your eyes. "Oh. Uh, sure." You muse as you move off to the side. Naib was paying. He was paying for himself and you. Relief fills you when he steps up to take your place. You weren't sure if you could hold eye contact with him any longer. Once he's done, Naib hands you a small plastic bag with all your snacks inside. The both of you walk towards the exit, with you trailing behind him. Naib pushes the door open and holds it for you.

Once you're outside, he lets it go, a click signifying its closure behind you. Silence fills the space between you two, and a part of you wants to leave it at that. Naib is the quietest out of all the members in OPH. Who knows if he'd choose to entertain a conversation with you? However, the other part of you couldn't stay quiet, not when he paid for you. Someone who was, by all means, a stranger. Before you can stop yourself, you look at him and ask: "Why did you pay for me?" Naib's eyes are trained on the empty parking in front of you. It seems like he won't be replying, but after a few moments, he does.

"My mom would've wanted me to help someone if I could, so I paid for you."

His tone gave off very little, but his expression gave you the idea that there was more to his otherwise kind gesture. You quickly decide to leave it that. The last thing you'd want to do is bring up bad memories. "Anyways, thank you." You shift your weight before quietly adding, "I'm sure she'd be happy to know you took her words to heart." The streamer hums in acknowledgment before looking at you. "I hope you're right." Then, he walks off, prompting you to do the same. You play with the handles of your plastic bag on the way home, your mind swirling.

The snacks are immediately dumped beside your keyboard, and your chair creaks as you plop down onto it. After a few more minutes, the countdown hits zero, and Naib starts his stream. For the next few hours, you indulge yourself in his stream. It's your reward for getting through such a long week. Unfortunately, you couldn't stop thinking about your earlier, even as his stream was wrapping up. It's a shame you couldn't do anything for him in return. Wait a second. You practically shoot up in your seat as you get an idea.

naibs_elbowpads32 has donated $14.17! "How's the chips?"

The streamer pauses, then looks at his web camera. "They're great. Would recommend." You laugh at Naib's reply. When he ends the stream, you get ready to log off. The effects of staying up so late will hit you in the morning, so you might as well try and do some damage control now. However, something stops you from doing that. A notification appears, letting you know that someone has dm'd you.

It was from none other than OPH_Naib.

Your mind shuts down, but your mouse clicks on the whisper button. His message, or rather question, reads: "Do you play Identity V?" If you weren't occupied with questioning what you have done recently to end up here, you would've laughed. Hard. The world was keen on reminding you of your growing crush on Naib, but honestly? You wouldn't mind getting to know the captain of Team OPH simply as a friend or as something more.

"I do."

Bonus:

"So you're telling me that's the first thing you messaged them?" Lily asks, fighting the urge to shoot Naib an incredulous look. She hoped he was joking, but knowing his sense of humour, there was no way this was one of them. Nonetheless, she needed to hear him confirm it. With his own voice and words.

"Yes. Do you want a screenshot?" Naib's expression was the exact same poker face he always had on. He was lucky that they were only on call. If not, she would've grabbed his shoulders and started to shake him. "For someone with the best game sense I've ever seen, I gotta say your social skills are something else."

The black-haired streamer slightly raises his eyebrows. "I think that was a perfectly fine way of starting a conversation, Lily." Naib reaches for one of the family-sized chip bags on his desk and rips it open, popping a few chips into his mouth. She sighs in response as she leans back in her chair, pushing up her heart-shaped glasses. "I can't tell what to be more surprised about. That you seriously chose that as your conversation starter…"

"…Or the fact you willingly went out of your way to initiate a conversation with someone that isn't in OPH."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ngl, I was struggling with this fic LMAO, but I'm pretty happy with how it came out in the end. Thank you for patience and I hope this fic was worth the wait!! I got a couple ideas for new fics, so hopefully I'll find the time to flesh them out. Until then, take care :]

[volkswagonblues]

@alluroa asked me about book recs, so I'd thought I'd do a combined

2023-24 fav books in review

I've grouped them together in pairs for thematic relevance

The God of the Woods // North Woods

God of the Woods is set in a girl's summer camp in the 1970s; North Woods is a long American historical novel that traces the history of one patch of New England land from the first European settlers onwards. I them together because they cover similar geographical regions. I thought both of them had an incredible sense of time and place, very good if you enjoy new england

2. Breakfast of Champions // Penance

To me, both are just fucking MASTERPIECES that defy genre. Sorry guys that I'm trying to toot Vonnegut's horn in 2024, like wow, check out this tiny indie writer that no one has ever heard of. But Breakfast of Champions truly feels shockingly fresh for something written fifty years ago. Race inequality, gender relations, the rot of late capitalist America... 1973 Vonnegut had already seen and nailed it all.

Penance by the way is a must read for every tumblrina. It has the most perfect pastiche of fandom I had ever seen, it's got me HOWLING multiple times. And the way that Clark depicts female friendships...it's like those photorealistic dutch paintings of flowers where you can't believe it was painted. I can't believe anyone just. Made this up. Her fucking mind.....

3. The Invisible Kingdom // Strangers to Ourselves

The Invisible Kingdom is about the writer's struggle with chronic illness, which I think precedes long covid but very relevant to the Current Conditions Of Our Times. Stranger to Ourselves's chapter on eating disorders and the chapter on schizophrenia reframed how I thought about those things. Maybe I'm shallow but I genuinely found it so profound in the way it framed mental illness as a "career" that people fall in to. That's a very bad summary. Go read it yourself.

4. The Guest // The Master Key

Okay, sorry, but I felt like the entire world was reading The Guest last summer so I won't explain too much, but I'll say I really like this style of prose. The language is simple, but so elegantly done. Very sharp social satire. I wish I could write like this. The Master Key is a Japanese mystery novel that's a pastiche of the Golden Age of 20th century mysteries. Very classic "locked room" mystery, but with a really brilliant dose of social drama. It's set in an apartment building where only unmarried woman are allowed to live. The tenants who remained after decades are often sad, lonely, and hiding some bizarre secret. So good I almost forgot it's a murder mystery

[arlana-likes-to-write]

Love in Slow Motion

Part of the Family AU (could be read as a standalone)

Summary: More snapshots of your relationship with Kamala Khan.

Warnings: fluff, guilt, crying,

Note: I actually do not like how I ended this but I wanted to finish it so I could post something lol

Word count: 2.6K

There was something about Kamala that you found comforting. You spent a lot of your free time thinking about it. Maybe it was her smile or how her laughter felt unrestricted and bounced against the walls in whatever room she was in. Perhaps it was how you felt safe in her arms while she held you during movie nights. Even when you held her, it felt perfect. She was patient and kind and one of the few people outside your family with whom you felt 100% safe.

“You are looking at me again,” Kamala teased. You looked away quickly at being caught. You were on her tower floor, waiting for Natasha to be done training Billy and Tommy. The twins were adamant about training to be part of the Avengers one day. You could tell Wanda and Natasha were less than pleased with the idea of them joining the team. You were on the fence about it. Like your brothers, you had a gift that could help the world.

“Let’s see,” she took your chemistry notebook from you. “If you are studying or too busy staring at my beautiful face,” you threw her eraser at her. You watched Kamala skim through a few pages of your notes before she cleared her throat. “Ethanol combusts in oxygen to produce carbon dioxide and water. Write the balanced chemical for this reaction.”

Of course, she picked one to balance an equation. Balancing on a piece of paper was much easier than mentally. Difficult but possible. The chemical formals seemed to dance in your head. The unbalanced equation would be C2H50H + O2 -> CO2 + H2O. Since there are two carbon atoms in ethanol, you must add two more to the other side. Next, it was the hydrogen atoms. Finally, you needed to add 3 oxygen molecules to the left. “The answer is C2H5OH + 03 to 2CO3 + 2H2O.” Kamala was quiet for a beat, and uncertainty washed over you. Maybe you forgot to add another oxygen molecule. “What?” You questioned. “Did I get it wrong?” You couldn’t place the look on her face. It was a mix of fascination, amazement, and something else.

“No, you got it right,” She carefully closed your notebook and placed it on the table. “You are so brilliant.” You’ve heard that a lot lately. From home school teachers to Wanda and Natasha. It felt different hearing it from Kamala. “Can I kiss you?” You raised your eyebrows in surprise at the sudden change of direction. “Sorry. I just had a sudden urge. You don’t-” You giggled, which caught her off guard.

“You can kiss me,” you said. She always asked before she leaned in. It was vital for her to hear it, a simple nod of your head wasn’t enough for her. She moved closer to you with a smile and interlocked your hand with hers. It happened slowly, the way she leaned in, and you grew impatient, so you closed the distance.

Her lips were soft against yours. This was your favorite thing about Kamala. She treated you so softly. Even when the kiss grew frantic, her touch was soft. One time, she got bold enough and put her hand on your cheek. It startled you at first, but soon, you enjoyed it. Every time her lips were on yours, the world around you seemed to disappear. Nothing else mattered.

“Ah!” The sound of Billy and Tommy’s yell forced you both apart. Your heart was racing at the sudden noise.

“Why are you always kissing?!” Billy exclaimed. Tommy used his speed to push his way between you two.

“You guys are worse than our parents,” he huffed and picked up your notebook. “Did you do any studying, or were you two busy swapping spit?” Tommy mimicked the sound of kissing.

“Did you do any training,” you ribbed the notebook out of his hand. “Or were you too busy running your mouth to get out of running?” Kamala laughed at your counter. Tommy narrowed his eyes at you.

“That was a good one,” he said. Mom should be done soon. She said you could make us food.” You glared at him and then looked at Billy. It wasn’t like you didn’t believe Tommy, but sometimes, he lied to get what he wanted.

“She did say that,” of course. Sighing, you stood up, and Billy took your spot on the couch.

“Do you need help?” Kamala questioned.

“You can’t help!” Tommy answered before you could. “You promised us you’d play the newest Eclipse Nexus with us.” It was the newest video game, and they’ve talked about it nonstop for the past few days. Kamala promised to play it with them. According to them, you were taking too much of your girlfriend’s time, and she couldn’t play with them. Kamala gave you a shy smile. “I don’t need help. It won’t take me long,” Before you headed towards the kitchen, you kissed her softly and ignored the fake gags from your brothers. “Remember, boys, I’m making lunch. I’d be careful if I were you.” They stopped immediately.

You chuckled and went through the kitchen. Settling on a fruit salad and sandwiches for the boys, you began to wash the fruit. But laughter drew your attention back to Kamala and the twins. The game was already on the screen, and Kamala controlled the character.

It made you happy. Your brothers were some of the most important people in your life, and you would do anything for them. It was comforting to know Kamala got along with them. All of your favorite people were together.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦    

After a few months together, you liked to believe you knew Kamala well. You picked up on her mannerisms like she had done with you. You wanted to say Kamala smiled with her eyes. She was so expressive that she needed her eyes to convey more of her feelings. She was passionate about her family and the Avengers. At the end of the day, she wanted to be the best. However, that took a toll on her.

Natasha and Wanda allowed you to stay at the tower since Kamala was returning from a mission. Staying there was fine, but the tower was missing the warmth of your home. But you were excited for Kamala to get back. It would be easier to sleep knowing she was safe. You sat on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, and playing on your Switch.

Tommy and Billy like to tease you how much of a nerd you were. They said you needed to expand your horizons away from just books. You believed they wanted another person to play video games with.

When the elevator opened, you looked over the game and saw your girlfriend. She was freshly showered and wearing one of your sweatshirts. You remembered her grabbing it when she was packing before the mission. “Hi,” she smiled, closed the distance, and kissed your forehead.

“Hi,” you said back. “I made chaat. It might not be as good as your mom’s, but I tried my best.” She looked at you fondly, but the emotion disappeared quickly.

“Thank you, but I’m not hungry. I think I’m going to shower, then go to bed.” Quickly, she kissed your cheek and headed off to her room.

You sighed and turned off your game. There was something wrong. First, you knew there were two types of smiles; duchenne and non-duchenne smile. Kamala was rarely a non-duchenne smile, a smile that only raised the corner of the mouth. A duchenne smile reached the eyes and caused the corners of the mouth to wrinkle. That smile was considered the most authentic.

Second, Kamala always liked to eat after a mission. It was a promise to her mother.

Finally, she clearly already showered. Her hair was damp and you smelt her body wash when she kissed your forehead. She wanted space, but you needed to ensure she was okay. You stood up and walked to her room. Knocking on her door, there was silence on the other side. Usually, you would always be welcomed in her room. Now, you hesitated. Maybe you weren’t welcome. Perhaps you were being too pushy and should respect it.

Without another thought, you opened her door. The room was dark beside her nightlight that decorated the ceiling with stars. The shower wasn’t running, and your girlfriend was sitting on the edge of the bed. The only sound in the room was the soft cries coming from Kamala. Her hands were over her face, and her body shook. You’ve never seen her like this, completely and utterly broken. Still, you hesitated. She ventured into her room to be alone.

Suddenly, you remembered Wanda comforting Natasha after a bad day. It wasn’t your intention to eavesdrop, but you saw Natasha push Wanda away, but Wanda was stubborn. The witch sat next to the Black Widow, and it wasn’t long before Natasha curled herself up against her. You took a page out of Wanda’s book.

You sat next to Kamala. Each cry that she let out broke your heart. You wanted nothing more than to wrap your arms around and protect her. But you waited. You waited until she needed you. Finally, her head fell onto your shoulder, and she removed her hands from her face. “So many of them died,” she whispered. “I can still hear their screams. I-I tried so hard to save them.”

“Can I hug you?” You felt her nod, and you pulled her into your arms. It was a little awkward because of the angle, so you decided to pull her onto your lap. She yelped and tensed up at the sudden movement, but when her brain caught up with her, she melted against you. Her hands gripped onto your shirt as she continued to cry. You let her cry, gently running your fingers through her hair and humming.

“I’m so stupid thinking I could be a hero.”

“No,” you pulled her face from your shoulder and cupped her stained cheeks. “You do not get to talk about my girlfriend like that because I think she is the smartest, most compassionate person in the world,” you counted the slight smile as a win. “But do you know what else she is,” Kamala shook her head. “She is human. Above all else, she is human. Humans make mistakes. We are not perfect.”

“Some of them were kids, and I-” you hushed her softly.

“Did you try your best?” You asked, already knowing the answer. She wouldn’t be in such a hysteric state if she half-assed the mission. There was a hesitation in her nod.

“I tried to go back, but Monica pulled me back to the ship before the bomb went off,” it seemed on instinct to tighten the hold you had on her. The gravity of the situation dawned on you. She was going to give her life for those people. It was part of the job, but a sour feeling pooled in your stomach.

“You can’t save everyone, sweetheart,” you soothed the patchy skin of her cheeks. “It’s so hard, and I can’t imagine the grief and guilt you are feeling, but you are human. Mrs. Marvel, Avenger, and superhero all come second.” She shook her head, and you raised your eyebrow in question.

“I am also your girlfriend.” You smiled.

“You are. Can I kiss my girlfriend?” Kamala nodded with a smile. You connected lips against hers softly. The kiss wasn’t rushed. You kept it slow, trying to add reassurance - a promise that you were here. You were here to share the pain and offer any comfort. Her lips were warm and salty with tears. When you pulled back, Kamala’s eyes were closed, and your foreheads rested together. You felt her breath on your lips, mingling together.

Suddenly, the growl of Kamala’s stomach growled and broke the peaceful silence. “And here I thought you weren’t hungry,” you teased. Kamala smiled. “Come on,” you gently tapped her thigh. “Let’s go eat,” she slide off your lap and helped you stand with her hand. Before you could walk away, she spun you around and hugged you. Her arms wrapped tightly around you, almost like she feared you would disappear.

You held her tighter, too. At this moment, you were grateful and jealous that Wanda and Natasha were retired. At the end of the day, they would come home and be safe. Kamala was a hero, and she was good at it. You would never tell her to leave the Avengers. You would support her every step of the way.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦    

“Kamala!” you shirked as you felt her hands move underneath your shirt. Her hands were cold from being outside without gloves. You knew she could warm up her hands with her powers, but she wanted to be annoying. “Stop!” You tried to wiggle away, but she held you in place.

“But sweetheart,” she cooed. “You are so warm! I’m so cold!” You laughed while her fingers dug into your side.

“Stop! That tickles!” you laughed and pushed against her chest.

“Your laugh is so beautiful,” she flirted. “I’ll do anything to hear it.” You managed to push your girlfriend away and return to the party. Still, she made you laugh with a pinch to your side or her breath on your neck. It was a distraction that she was doing. Parties weren’t your favorite - too many people, loud noise, and no place to run if you felt overwhelmed.

Peter, Kamala, and Kate somehow broke down your walls and got you to go. It helped that Natasha and Wanda were among the guests, consisting of Avengers and a few city officials. Sam said it was a good way for the Avengers to build relations with the public. Natasha called it ass-kissing.

Being around so many people was nerve-racking, but Kamala was making it better.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦    

Despite being retired, Natasha found turning off parts of her brain hard. She constantly scanned for threats, especially when her family was in the room. She didn’t intend to be on alert, but her entire life has been fighting. Even if she was safe, it was hard for her to relax fully. Her eyes followed you around the room while Kamala was glued to your side. She watched you closely if you were given any sign of a panic attack or being overwhelmed. All she saw was a smile on your face or heard your laughter. If that smile faded or you got too caught up in your head, Kamala quickly pulled you out of it.

The girl could read your emotions better than her. “She won’t disappear if you take your eyes off her.” Tony appeared next to her. “ The Black Widow glared at him.

“What do you want, Stark?” The man held up his hands.

“I’m not looking for a fight. I’m just making my rounds to ensure everyone is having a good time,” Natasha nodded and looked back at you. She figured her nod was enough of an answer, but the man stayed. “You know,” he began, “I don’t think I’ve heard her laugh this much.” When the Black Widow looked back at Tony, he looked at you. You held Morgan on your hip while Kamala showed the young girl her powers. It was a cute sight to see. “It’s a good sound to hear.”

Natasha had no words to describe how good it was to hear your laugh and see your smile. It seemed like a lifetime ago that Melina told her not to let the Red Room take her heart. She liked to believe she kept it even with everything she had gone through. The evil in the world seemed to call to you. You were subjected to too much of it, but your heart remained good. Now, someone else was holding onto it, and Kamala was doing a good job of keeping it.

[newtkive]

pixels [newt x reader - modern text au]

ch. 4 - agoraphobia and burger king on 5th street

summary: a personal experience provides a way for newt to connect to y/n.

warnings: strong language, mental health talk, depression, medication (its my literal prescription i mention oops this is like a self insert fr), mutual pining, none really.

➥ m.list

--

THE GLADE

[ 10:52 am ]

y/n: it’s official yall

drugs saved my life

tommy: huh??

minho: same

newt: wow, i’ve never seen your name on my screen before 12 pm

y/n: shut the hell up bitch

newt: ouch, touchy

minho: woah

touchy 👀

are yallll..?

y/n: you’re sick

tommy: are we going to ignore the drugs statement??

like hello are u ok ??

newt: you’re annoying minho

minho: yea <3 😊

notice how they didn’t say no

y/n: you guys just don’t understand how a girl like me needs beauty sleep..

and no we aren’t

gally: all that beauty sleep and ur still walking around with that mug.. yikes.

y/n: 😑

i hate you i haete you i dhateoyifu

minho: great she’s having a fit

y/n: no one cares about me

and you think i’m ugly

this is so sick

and you don’t even care that i’m on drugs

☹️😭😭😭😭 done.

newt: no one said that love

gally that was rude

minho: BRUHHHHH

here she goes

tommy: I CAREE????????

DO I NEED TO COMEGET YOU????

y/n: yes 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

before i do something crazy 😭😭💣

minho: THE BOMB IS WILD

tommy: stay where you are

i have your location

newt: uhhh

y/n: pause what

minho: tommy why would you admit to that

tommy: im On my way! what’s the issue

sorry autocorrect

y/n: WHY DO YOU HAVE MY LOCATION????

gally: can you guys shut the fuck up

minho: the drama queen is here 😍

gally: stop

alby: I have it on Life360, I imagine Thomas does as well. In fact I have all of your locations.

y/n: oh

i forgot about that app..

minho: i didn’t. i get a notif that newt’s phone is at 5% all the goddamn time

even tho he said he deleted it

newt: just turn it off then

i redownloaded it don't track my app intake

minho: no it makes me feel less lonely

y/n: awwwww

idk how you do that newt

newt: do what?

y/n: not charge your phone

if my phone gets below like 15% then the monsters will get me

tommy: omg me tooo 🥹

newt: i was about to say you sound like tommy.

tommy: don’t say that!

she’s on drugs i don’t want to sound like an addict 😔

newt: she isn’t on drugs thomas

tommy: she literally said she is newt :/

5 mins and i’m there y/n

y/n: are you actually fr

thomas..

we live very far away sweetie

newt: i mean

if you were in trouble you don’t think we’d come get you?

tommy: ^^

but life360 says you’re at the burger king on 5th

minho: no that’s me LOOOL

y/n: NEWTTT ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

tommy: wtf

i’m the one who’s coming to get u

why does he get the credit

minho: no tommy you’re coming to get me

tommy: oh yippee i get to see my friend 🤗

newt: ewwwwww

y/n: EWWWWW

tommy: OH STOP IT

y/n: why burger king of all places min

minho: why drugs of all things y/n

gally: she’s not doing drugs are you guys fuckin insane

y/n: yes i am

it’s 10 mg of fluoxetine 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

ONCE A DAY!!!!!!

IM ADDICTED

newt: no you aren’t, 10 mg is the smallest dose

minho: told y’all she was on drugs

y/n: ???????

minho: over the year

you’re too hyper to not be on some crack shit

tommy: oh stop that’s not nice.

newt: it’s not drugs like that minho stop.

tommy: uhoh he brought out the . at the end

y/n: it’s just for anxiety cuz i can’t leave the house without going into a breakdown

minho: she got acrophobia

told y’all she was mental

newt: what the fuck are you talking about

tommy: oh i know that word

fear of spiders 🕷️

minho: wtf no

fear of outside

y/n: i’m not afraid of outside

newt: that’s agoraphobia you fucking dumbass

y/n: 😍

i did NOT mean to send that lol oops

newt: ??

oh, okay

minho: when he’s a know it all 😍

when she’s agoraphobic 😍

y/n: when he’s at burger king on 5th because he has no food in his fridge and can only afford a $1.99 whopper with the coupons from the newspaper 😍😍😍😍

minho: 😒😑

newt: LMFAOOOO

GOOD THAT

minho: british people be so annoying

saying shit like gormless minger and good that be sooo real rn

newt: i have never said gormless minger in my whole 26 years of life.

y/n: you just did bro

newt: call me bro again

y/n: bro

brosive

brother

stepbro

minho: laughed until i saw the last msg :/

newt: 😑

y/n: ok youre the perverts

minho: cant you take your prozac and turn back to normal now

y/n: so you DO know what it is..

gally: wym 'back to normal' like there was smth before this??

y/n: real i been like this for life

tommy: i got whopper and two large fries and mozzarella sticks

newt: wow

y/n: wow just call him a fatass newt.

newt: i would never, stop

y/n: 2 large fries is kinda crazy tho

tommy: i have to get enough to share with my friend

minho

gally: surprised you have friends

tommy: yeah you are not one.

gally: RUDE?

y/n: WELL LMFAO

minho: i literally already ate also gally ur not my friend either

newt: same

alby: same

gally: well why tf am i in here

y/n: well you're my friend!

gally: great.

y/n: not with that attitude..

tommy: y/n you're ok though right??

y/n: yes tommy im fine sweetie

go eat your food

tommy: okay i wish you could share these fries with me

y/n: me too :(

minho: i don't

big back would eat em all

y/n: i actually hate you

__

newt

[ 11:45 am ]

newt: hey

y/n: hiii :D whats up??

newt: idk why but this feels like secretly texting you across the room at a party

y/n: actually tho

picture me giving u a look from across the room

newt: you would blow our cover immediately

i just wanted to let you know if you needed any like,, advice or something with your new medicine i'm here for you. i take the same stuff on top of lexapro

y/n: oh really?

newt: yeah i do

y/n: newt :( thank you

i am a bit nervous to start it tbh

newt: i understand, i was too

but hopefully it'll change things for the better

y/n: i hope so

i didn't realize you dealt with anxiety n stuff

newt: more than you know

you aren't the only one and you aren't alone w it

y/n: you're sweet newt, thank you

newt: don't mention it :))

sorry the smiley was creepy

y/n: lmao no i like it

if you need to talk or anything too i’m always here

newt: yeah?

y/n: of course ): you’re my pookie

newt: one day you gotta let go of that word lmao

y/n: but you love it tho

newt: you tell yourself that

actually are you free rn?

y/n: yeah! i’m just about home what’s up?

newt: i’m bored so pick up the phone

y/n: NEWT LMAO

ok fine 😒

[fookingmuffins]

Say something babe pt2

James Potter x reader

Angst

Warnings: cheating, yelling, James being a dick and few curse words I think? (Also y/n being a big dummy for a sec but it happens)

A/n: here's part two! I hope you guys enjoy it this one is longer than the last since some of it was technically part of part one but I moved it. This part made me really hate James so I have some regrets but oh well I promise to write fluffier fics eventually. There's gonna be part 3 of James groveling but for now it's just this I'm sorry. :(

It was your last day home after spring break, you had spent your week in your bed in the dark having restless sleep to avoid the reality of your situation, but it seemed even your Dreams were haunted, and you knew your mum was worried. You had written to Penny and your other friends, who had been worried about your sudden departure without saying goodbye. Penny had thankfully not told anyone anything about what you two heard that last night. James had surprisingly also sent you a few letters,5 to be exact, but you couldn't get yourself to open them, any time you tried nausea overtook your body at the thought of the words he said about you.

You were dreading the thought of returning and facing everything. You thought about continuing everything as if you had never heard that conversation and try to enjoy however long you had with James, you had even thought of excuses as to why you left and didn't reply to his letters, but you knew you deserved better. You needed to confront James, and maybe he would apologize and reassure you it was all some big misunderstanding, you probably would believe him if he did.

.......♡☆♡........

As soon as you stepped on the train platform, you heard a set of heavy steps approaching you, but before you could turn around, a big set of arms enveloped you. "Can't... breathe..." you gasped out and patted Finn's back, and he immediately let you go to see Penny, Rowan, and Wren were there too, each giving you a gentler hug than Finn.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to hurt you, I was just so worried, and I missed you so much, it's been ages!"

"Sure has felt like it but come on, let's find a cabin before the good ones are taken." You placed your hand on Finn's arm and started guiding your friend group to the train. You knew that you were probably going to get interrogated by everyone, but you could at least push it back a few minutes.

Once your group found a cabin you sat down by the window and Wren immediately shut the door, and you knew even if you tried there was no stopping this. "Okay girly you better start talking about whatever it's going on because that letter saying something came up at home, and you had to go earlier is bullshit cause something is always going on at your house and that is exactly why you hate being there. So now talk and tell me who I need to jinx with Finny here for doing something to you."

You looked at Penny for some help, but she just gave you a soft smile, encouraging you to tell your friends the truth. But you were terrified of them hating James, in case it was just a misunderstanding.

"James and I just had a bit of an argument, no big deal, I promise we are fine. I'm fine." Penny rolled her eyes at your words, but thankfully no one saw her, and she did help you change the topic. But you knew none of your friends believed you, even Finn who was sometimes a bit clueless could tell you lied and for the rest of the train ride they gave you worried looks.

.......♡☆♡........

After the long train ride, you went to freshen up in your dorm (and mentally prepare yourself to face James) assuring your friends you would meet them at the great hall. But just when you made a turn, you felt someone pull you into an empty classroom. Just when you were about to scream you felt a pair of lips you knew all too well pressed onto yours and for a moment you forgot about all the pain that you had felt over the past week.

When James pulled back and searched your face his eyes brought back the words you had heard, the words that came out of the lips you had just kissed, and immediately all the pain and nausea returned.

"I was so worried about you baby, you left without even saying goodbye, and we were supposed to go to that party together, and then you wouldn't reply to any of my letters and your friends didn't know anything either." You usually thought his ranting was adorable, especially when he looked like he did right now with his eyebrows furrowed and eyes looking at you with what you used to think was sincerity, but now that stupid look in his eyes just felt like a dagger onto your heart twisting with each word that left his lips.

You pushed his hands on your cheeks away and took a step away which made him frown, but before he could say anything you blurted "I heard your conversation with Castor in the Gryffindor common room!" Which made him frown more until a look of realization crossed his face and his eyes widened.

"W-what conversation...? H-how did you even get into the Gryffindor common room?" He tried to deflect, which made your heart sink and tears well up in your eyes.

"The one where you mentioned I was so annoying and clingy and offered me to Castor, so you could have some alone time with Lily!" He was refusing to look you in the eyes anymore, which was making all that sadness you once felt turn into bitter anger.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about you are overreacting right now Castor and I don't really talk plus y-you were complaining about him that one-"

"James!"

"Okay! Fine! I did tell Castor all that, but you know what? You're just proving that you ARE clingy. I mean, why do you have to listen to MY private conversations, huh? And again, what were you doing in the Gryffindor common room? And you're also proving how dramatic and psychotic you are by making this big show about something I said to my friend privately!" By this point, you couldn't hold back your tears as James spit the words that had kept you restless the past week with so much venom, and his once gentle eyes turned into those of a crazed man.

"And what about Lily!?" You managed to scream back, but it came out so broken that even James' eyes momentarily softened, or maybe it was just because you mentioned the girl he actually loved.

"What about her?" He stepped closer, eyes hardening again, glaring at you in a way that killed you. "Are you seriously jealous of her? Merlin y/n! Am I not allowed to have friends? I never tell you anything when you hang out with Rowan and Finn."

"I've never been jealous because I trusted YOU! B-but I heard-"

"Heard something completely out of context! Look babe, I love you okay! That night at the party I just wanted to play some drinking games with Lily cause I know you don't like drinking! I would never cheat on you, okay? I know how you feel about it because of your dad and I wouldn't do it to you, promise" You wanted to scream deep down you knew this was all lies, but you wanted to believe him so badly. Just when you had made up your mind, you felt James wrap his arms around you, and you couldn't help but cry harder. You just felt so small and broken and as if his arms were the only thing holding you together.

"I'm so sorry for overreacting. I-I don't know what happened, I-I…" James took my face into his hands again and gently kissed my lips.

.......♡☆♡........

After you and James cleared things up, things had been a little tense between you and Penny, who berated you for an hour and then ignored you until the next day cause she couldn't stay mad at you. And even though with James things were seemingly back to normal you still felt yourself walking on eggshells around him and stopped missing classes and club meetings, like you usually did in favor of meeting him, so he wouldn't feel like you were clingy. Despite all of it, you still felt something was missing, like the life had been drained out of you. But that only made you feel worse, since you had everything you could possibly want, and suddenly you weren't satisfied. Now when James was by your side you often felt numb even when you would hang out with the other marauders who usually made you laugh you felt like you were laughing out of a pure reaction but not feeling any joy.

It had been 3 weeks since your argument, and you were running late to Madam Puddifoot's tea shop, where you had made a last-minute arrangement with your friend group to celebrate your friend Luna's birthday. You usually didn't come to Hogsmeade in the middle of the week, too busy with the many activities you were part of plus assignments as it was your last year at Hogwarts. But you and Luna had been friends since second year when she had gotten sick around the same time you fell off your broom and both of you spent your days at the infirmary chatting away. You helped her usually shy, and reserved self become more open and make more friends.

When you finally arrived at the tea shop, you spotted a curly mop of hair that you recognized as James leaning in to kiss Lily. The chatter you were having among your friends completely stopped, and you felt your world come crashing down, there was no denying anymore. James Potter was the biggest cheater ever, and you were the biggest fool for trusting him. You contemplated going to confront him right then and there, but you didn't want to ruin Luna's party, so you made your way back to Hogwarts and would confront him when he got back to his dorm. All throughout your walk back, you kept cursing him and yourself for being so naive.

.......♡☆♡........

By the time James made it back to his dorm it was 7:45 you had long made yourself comfortable after kicking out the other marauders.

"Baby! What are you doing here? I told you it was best to not come after the whole misunderstanding from last time" Unsurprisingly, James was shocked to see you there, but he quickly disguised it and tried to lean in to kiss you, but you just turned your face, so he just kissed your cheek which made him frown. "Is everything okay?"

"I don't know, James, you tell me. How was your little date with Lily?" To that his eyes widened and if you weren't seething right now you probably would have found it comical.

"Merlin y/n this again?! I've told you there's nothing going on between me and Lily! You're so-"

"I saw the two of you kiss at Madam Puddifoot's." You said matter of fact, interrupting whatever argument he was gonna use to call you delusional.

"I swear it wasn't what it looked like! She's the one who kissed me! She's been obsessing over me ever since we got together. She's an insane babe." That was true, unfortunately, James had never told you about Lily wanting him back after seeing him with you, and it's not like he tried to stop her, in fact, James had very much encouraged her. He loved the thrill of being with her behind your back, you had been so close to finding out about them so many times. And after the last time he had been so cocky about being able to convince you he was loyal, bragging to everyone in Gryffindor. But you didn't know any of that.

"Oh really, just like I'm so obsessed with you that I don't let you breathe? Look I don't care anymore I'm done playing the fool. If I'm even here, it's just for formalities because we are done, Potter." You said, as you got up from his bed, and made your way to the door.

"Are you seriously breaking up with me right now?" You didn't bother answering as you opened the door and stepped out. Making a vow to never anyone hurt you like that again and refusing to ever look back.

Part 3

[vanguard-hunter-cayde]

"I am the righteous hand of God." -Street

18+ for mature themes. CW: drugs, potential kidnapping, drugging of drinks, swearing, attempted assault.

Pairings: Deacon Kay x Fem! Reader // (Streets Little Sister)

Kinda bad, but, its fiiiine, I'll do better later.

"and I am the devil you forgot."-Deacon

You smiled at the bartender as she poured you another drink, the team decided to go to the bar after a particularly stressful day, hondo was hanging with Chris, deacon and street, Luca and tan couldn't make it unfortunately. You were hanging and bonding as a team, you downed your drink at the bar and signaled for another, you took that one and joined your team, engaging in conversation and bantering with Chris over her misstep on the mission. "Okay, but what skilled swat officer falls down two steps-," Chris laughed and shoved you playfully, "I twisted my ankle! Y/N, you cannot hold it against me!" You chuckled and eyed her ankle, "where's your brace then- huh?" She glared playfully, "didn't need one !" You laughed again and caught Deacons eye, you smiled and hid your face, you heard him laugh and strike up a conversation with hondo, you dragged yourself back to the bar, the mental mind games between you and Deacon were exhausting, ever since him and Annie got a divorce, he's been off, and different, but he doesn't spare you with flirting, but also acts cold too, you shook the thoughts away and asked for (your favorite alcoholic drink), the waiter smiled kindly at you and set the drink infront of you, you took a sip and sat it back down circling the rim with your finger, the man next to you said something unintelligible and you turned to look at him, taking your attention off of your drink, "pardon?" He smiled and spoke more clearly, "what's a girl like you doing in a place like this" you cringed and shrugged, "just trying to drink in peace." The guy scoffed, "don't gotta be so bitchy" you muttered an apology and took a swig of your drink again, it tasted a little funny but you ignored it. The guy on your other side was side eyeing you a little too much, you tried to ignore it and focus on your drink. You started to feel woozy, your thoughts were blending together. You started panicking, unsure what's happening to you as you couldn't form coherent thoughts, or sentences, the guy who was side eyeing you, "come on baby, you've clearly had way to much to drink, let's get you home" you felt his arm on the small of your back, your anxiety kicking up worse, he started leading you through the crowd, your heart rate speeding up as your vision was blurring, you were nearing the door, all hope of being saved was almost drained when you heard street yelling.

//

"hey! Hands off my sister!"

Street came running through the crowd deacon on his tail, "who the hell do you think you are"

The guy looked at street, then at me, "you two look nothing alike, you don't know her, my girlfriend and I are leaving"

The sinister laugh that came out of street made the kidnapper shutter, deacon smiled at the guy, "your girlfriend? No no, she's spoken for"

"by who?"

"me" deacon launched himself at the guy as street caught you before you hit the ground, deacon landed a few good blows before hondo made it through the crowd and pulled deacon off of the guy, hondo handcuffed the man after forcing Deacon towards you and street.

"street is she-"

"she's out cold"

//

It's been a week and you've been avoiding deacon and street, you've been avoiding your job for that matter. Hicks said you get 2 weeks max to recover. You were lounging on the couch when your apartment doorbell went off, you groaned and walked to the door, opening it only to try to shut it immediately seeing deac.

He forced the door open and immediately pulled you into a hug. You felt your tears start to fall and your breathing becomes labored, he shushes you running his hands through your hair, "I'm so sorry"

You nuzzled closer to him, loving every minute of this, "deac it's okay" your words were muffled and barely audible

You pulled you closer and you could feel him melting into you, that you two were meant to be.

He spent the whole day with you at your apartment and you slept in the same bed that night.

-----

[yallmakemyassitch]

Tickletober Day 31 /// Aftercare

Yeah fun fact uh- I actually had this lined up for you guys but I kinda got distracted by other things and forgot I had this stagnating in my files for over a month. After that I considered just publishing it as a never ever, but we're here now so I won't be tagging it as such. But I will say there was much more planned for this. I'm happy how it turned out, hell, maybe I'll complete it 🤷‍♀️

Either way, sorry for kinda dying on y'all content wise. Things have been pretty rough irl and mentally, I'm not doing too well. This has prevented me from completing projects I have in my drafts (I have an ENTITY fic wip, that Aldryx teaser I showed y'all, requests to tend to, and such).

But at the same time, I'm trying to end the year with good vibes, I don't want to be so overly negative anymore as this blog is a place where I want to be happy and draw and write cute tickle shit (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠). Anyways just remember someone loves you, onto our scheduled programming

Summary: Brotherly fluff (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+🩷🩷🩷

It's a little short but I hope you enjoyed it :))

This made me feel better just posting it (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)

[googledetective]

my thoughts on the new episode as always, as I am currently losing my shit lol. I know a lot of people dislike me after last ep when I spoke up about my thoughts, but this time I'm ready to be more mature about it.

1. I love the Hu argue uhhh thingy! I forgot what it's called ngl! I love her and Nico's new sprites too, they were really all amazing and conveyed so much emotion!

And then Hu said this 💀

genuinely insane analogy to make here. I'm sorry, but that was actually insanely uncalled for imo.

2. I think everyone forgot Hu's custom weapon is wire, (if you realized and predicted this, huge props to you), and I did not expect Nico to try and frame Hu for murder like that. NicoHu divorce arc when??? Just kidding, but they're much more cruel then I originally thought. I completely understand trauma from not being accepted as the person you are which was likely in the form of bullying/abuse, but I was genuinely surprised that they really try and murdered Ace just because they didn't like him and they didn't want to go through that again. Very interesting. I also feel very bad for Hu, because she's poured her heart into trying to protect Nico, and even though her methods are EXTREMELY flawed, it must hurt to know someone you really tried to help would try to frame you for murder. This makes me wonder if Nico felt Hu was a threat to their sense of self like Ace was, if they were going to try and pin a murder on her. I'm glad Charles and J told Hu to shut up though, because she was becoming unreasonable. I really hope things turn out the best for her though, because it's clear she's coming from a place of kindness, even if her kindness is mostly self-serving.

3. As much as I don't really like the guy, I'm very glad to have seen Ace pop off. Everyone has treated him like shit, and even if he's treated everyone like shit back, he did not deserve to be almost murdered and then for people to just not care. I really hope Ace ends up making a friend if he isn't the killer, because he really deserves someone to care about him the way mostly everyone in the cast already has someone.

4. They both make very good points here. I think Ace deserves an apology, but a real one.

5. "of course I regret doing it, I'm not Levi" - Nico

THATS ACTUALLY INSANE- but that may be my favorite line of the ep. I'm glad Nico regrets the crime though, because I was scared for awhile they didn't and there might be another incident of the same thing again. This makes me think they won't try and kill again, but it's drdt so you never know, and I think they're a definite threat if they get provoked to that point so easily.

6. I feel so bad for Rose, but let me say, dare I say, I think Whit asking if Rose is okay might've been the sweetest thing Ive ever seen. A lot of people tend to forget that Whit is actually very compassionate, so I'm glad to see that part of him shine through again. Rose is so human, and I think she may be the most realistic character I've ever seen portrayed in a fangan. A lot of characters are able to just get back up after a murder, but she's stuck, and I think I would be the same way. Unfortunately there's zero mental health professionals (obviously, cause they all need to be in a ward) in drdt, but I hope that she maybe can come to cope in a healthier way with what's going on around her, because she doesn't deserve this mess. I didn't actually realize before that the cast had put her on a bit of a pedestal due to her amazing memory, but it makes sense. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I hope that Rose comes to peace with the turpentine and the tape thing because it really isn't her fault and that she can get help for her trauma due to Min and Xander, and Teruko's almost death. No matter how much people expect her to memorize a crime scene, she's human, and we all take things at much different paces.

7.

Hey David, didn't Whit teach us that trauma is a serious thing? You know I've been defending this guy a bit because of how he helped Eden and how I think he's trying to do what's right, but NEVERMIND. Because what the actual fuck is wrong with him to say something as messed up as these two statements. Rose and Arturo do not owe you anything, and they deserve to heal healthy, and at their own pace.

8. Teruko defending Rose was not in my ch2 trial bingo card, but oh my god, that really is sweet. I think Teruko really has started to change from talking with Rose.

I'm running out of images so I can't include her monologue, but it genuinely makes me happy she's starting to get some sort of character development. She really deserves it, and Charles really deserved being so fucking right about being social, lol. Also Teruko thanking Rose with that genuine smile on her face- brought me to tears. I hope they become friends :)

9. Ace and Eden, huh? To be honest, I'm completely torn and I can't see it being either one of them, but then again, I can't see it being anyone. I know so many people are complaining about not having a culprit reveal this ep, but I'm fine. I could wait another year and a half for the reveal. Actually, I don't think we need one at all. Maybe the true drdt is the friends we made along the way. Maybe it's better to choose delusion that nobody could've done it than it to have been Ace or Eden. Maybe, I killed Arei.

(I'm not that smart so I don't think I should be making killer theories, lol. I think it's safe to say I should stick to memes.)

10.

LMAOOOO. She right though.

11. "It pains me to come to Ace's defense" - David

another laughable moment, but a win for the Acevid shippers, I guess. I don't think David was lying though, and it was my suspicion all along that he had seen the body before anyone. I'm not very smart so I'm a bit confused as to whether later they're saying David actually did see her body (which is weird bc he'd have an alibi), or if he thinks someone else might've seen it and wanted to include that as a possibility.

12.

Teruko handled this whole situation super well, I was very impressed with her. Obviously you can't rule Eden out as the killer and Teruko explained that, but she was so compassionate and understanding about it that it made me cry. I never thought I'd say this, but here's a Teruko W. As for Eden pleading... I wish I could say more and I'm sure I'll be able to later, but it's just so likely she could be the culprit that I can't take anything she says at face value rn, and I was having trouble empathizing with her. Of course that's just my take, and I have already chatted with others who felt the whole scene was just a heartwarming experience, and that makes me really happy. This being said, the fact Teruko immediately turned to Ace as her main suspect TOOK ME OUT. I feel so bad for him he has literally done nothing but be suspicious to warrant this, while Eden is at the same level of suspicion. I really like that Teruko is playing favorites now, because Eden's been so good to her all this time.

13. I forgot to include David trying to get Teruko to not trust others!!! Shit!!!

Is that seriously how he plans to end the kg.. I can kinda see what he's going for bc so far the trope is in most danganronpa that you need to trust others to live and be fulfilled (not saying drdt is gonna follow that trope though). Hm.

Bro is actually down horrendous for Teruko though 😭

tierlist after watching this ep (kill me now)

[sh0ek0]

miss you (part 3)

part 1, 2

genre: angst, smut, dark content, all over the place content warning: 18+ !MINORS + AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT! As I forgot to mention in part I + II: aged up characters OF COURSE (college setting), mentions of alcohol and drug use, name calling, toxic relationship, abusive relationship, violent behavior, emotional abuse, choking, dj!choso, rough!megumi, hints of narcissism, obvious mental problems, maddy and nate (euphoria) kinda dynamic, euphoria inspired dialogue, DARK CONTENT, I really don’t know how to do these content notes, I’m sorry, I’m trying pairing: Choso x Reader, Megumi x Reader (kinda???) word count: about 10k

A/N: I really love to include some songs that inspire me while writing, I love music (that’s such a basic thing to say lol) so if you're up for it click on the lyrics. Also I really hope this was worth the wait, I am so sorry 🫠 this is kind of all over the place, like always, but I want to stop being so critical with myself, soooooo yeah. Here you go 🤭

Everything just felt so wrong. It was so hot down here and you were constantly bumping into people. The alcohol in your blood was making you dizzy with every step you took through the crowd and it was definitely messing with your sense of balance. You felt kind of nervous, but it was your own fault.

You were the one who hid in your bed for a whole week, your anxiety now at an all-time high. 

And you were the one who accepted all those drinks that Yuji had mixed for you upstairs.

However, those drinks seemed to fulfil their promise of freeing you from your inner torment, and as soon as the people around you were starting to look a little blurry, you start to move to the loud music blaring from the speakers.

I don't ever wanna see you / And I never wanna meet you again / One thing / When you're angry, you're a jerk / And then you treat me like I'm worth nothin'

"This track goes so hard." 

You open your eyes as you hear a familiar voice screaming in your ear. You see Nobara grinning from ear to ear as she dances to the music, the parts of her body that are not covered were glistening with sweat as the fluorescent lights hit her skin. She looked so damn beautiful.

How much you loved your friends.

This time it was Maki who dragged Nobara and you along with her to a house party off campus so the three of you found yourself in some guys huge basement, loud techno music blasting from the speakers and lots of sweaty people pressing up against each other. It was hot and completely dark except for a few neon lights that made it possible to at least distinguish a few faces. 

Not a single person down here seemed to be in any real control of their senses anymore, most of them were completely out of it already, while you could only imagine what kind of drugs they had in their systems by now. But hey, it was none of your business and you wouldn't judge, so the only thing that mattered was that the three of you were having a fantastic time.

I don't ever wanna see you / And I never wanna meet you again / It’ll happen again / I watch it happen over and over again

Another thing that brought you down here to this shady basement was a rumor that this new DJ was doing a pretty good job. And you knew he was pretty cute too - from where you were standing you could see his face hidden behind a MacBook screen, his hands effortlessly dancing across the array of buttons, knobs and sliders in front of him. Watching him, his body moving in sync with the music, his head bobbing as he worked his magic, you couldn't help but notice how good he looked. His lip was visibly split from last weekend's events and the pale hint of a black eye still marked his skin, but if you were being honest, it made him look even hotter.

You find yourself staring in his direction for a second too long and before you can look away, his eyes lock with yours and you see the realization in them just seconds later.

You feel a jolt of electricity run through your veins as your eyes lock.

Choso turns his eyes back to the DJ set in front of him a few times, but each time he looks up, you can feel him searching for you in the crowd. You can feel his gaze sticking to you like the bodies of Nobara and Maki who were dancing near you.

The heat around you envelops you like a suffocating blanket, while the bass pounds through the walls, pulsing in your chest and guiding your movements.

Don't try to find me / I’m better left alone than in this / It doesn't surprise me / Do you really think that I could care? / If you really don't like me / Find somebody else, it could be anyone else out there

The next time you turn in his direction, it was you who sought his gaze, flashing him a mischievous grin as your eyes locked again. 

Choso raises an eyebrow, but the grin on his lips gives him away. He winks at you, and as you continue to watch, you notice him smiling to himself as his hands skillfully move over the equipment, fading the old track into a new one. A few people immediately start to cheer.

Say yes to Heaven / Say yes to me / If you dance I’ll dance / d-dance / I’ve got my eye on you / you / you / you

The moment you recognise the song, a squeal escapes your lips. Your hips sway effortlessly from side to side, perfectly in sync with the rhythm. Nobara has her arms loosely wrapped around your neck, joining in and mirroring your every move. 

Choso knew you loved this song. 

You fell in love with it the first time you both heard it. That was a few weeks ago in his and Yuji's apartment, you were talking about music and you told him that you absolutely adored Lana Del Rey. It seems that he didn't forget that, because he mixed the song into something completely different, but just as beautiful.

You couldn't help but think that it felt like he'd done that for you. 

But did he?

Either way, he's managed to sweep you off your feet with a little gesture like that, and you can't remember the last time a man did that for you.

It feels like hours have passed before you realise that another DJ has taken over. As the current track slowly fades out into a new one, you notice how the vibe changes and most of the people who came for something with more bpm start to leave to go back upstairs.

Nobara grabs your hand and pulls you with her, Maki follows.

"Hey, I like that song—", you protest but Nobara and Maki were on a mission to get some fresh air. 

You notice how fast your heart was beating as the three of you make your way to the stairs, the pounding music slowly fading into the background.

"That was so good," Nobara sighs and you nod in agreement, still dizzy from all the sensations around you that your drunken brain was having trouble processing, "Choso did a damn good job, I didn't even know he could do that."

"Neither did I," you add, leaning down to take a sip from the straw in Maki's drink, "but he has skilled hands, so it makes sense."

"Oh shut up," Maki groans and you take the drink from her. You couldn't really tell what was in it, but you've reached a point where everything tastes the same to you anyway.

"I still don't understand why those idiots prefer to stay upstairs with Gojo and Getou and play beer pong," Nobara sneers, making you laugh. She was so right.

"Well, they missed a healing experience," you say, staying close to the two girls while more and more people leave the basement, "I thought all I needed was some random guy to fuck me in the bathroom to get Megumi out of my head, but actually this was just as good."

Nobara turns around and stares at you in shock as you take a sip of the unknown drink, causing you both to burst out laughing. 

"A win is a win, I guess," she says and you high-five her. 

"I'm actually so proud of you," Maki says, nudging your side before wrapping her arm around your waist.

You were surprised at how easy it was for you to talk about him. You hadn't heard from him in well over a week, and you weren't about to keep feeding your own delusion by telling yourself that  that hookup in his car was enough to rekindle your relationship. The two of you were over, and not just since he had dropped you off at your apartment at 4am last weekend. Those had been empty words, everything he had said to you that night. You had lied to yourself, thinking you could change his mind by having sex with him. He hadn't even waited until you were safely inside, instead you heard his tires squealing right after you slammed the door of his car shut.

"Who says you can't have both?" a deep voice whispers in your ear, snapping you out of your thoughts.

Well, that was embarrassing.

You immediately recognise his voice. 

Maki and Nobara start to giggle while you just freeze. They couldn't possibly have understood what he was saying at this volume, but the suggestiveness in his voice was enough to make you blush.

You turn and look up at Choso, who was looking back at you with a smirk on his lips. Up close, he looked even more battered than before, but you refrain from saying anything. An apology wouldn't help him and Megumi didn't look too good either.

He hugs you briefly, his hand remaining on your lower back even after you pulled away.

"Your set was great," you say, suddenly feeling a bit shy. Even though you meant it, you just wanted to fill the awkward silence. The fact that Maki and Nobara were standing right behind you didn't help, and Choso caught you so off guard that you didn't really know what to say or do. 

In the end, overthinking was what you did best.

Choso smiles at your comment and you catch his eyes roaming over your body for a second. 

"Thanks, I could see you enjoyed it," he replies, looking you straight in the eye. 

You can barely stand his gaze, your face could hardly get any redder and just as you open your mouth to say something, he clears his throat, his hand still on your back.

"Let's go upstairs, I need something to drink," he motions to Maki and Nobara to take the lead, "it's so damn hot down here."

"Oh, it really is," Nobara says, taking Maki's hand and dragging her through the crowd and up the stairs.

You and Choso follow, him being so gentle as he makes sure you don't bump into anyone, as you still have trouble walking a straight line in your knee high boots.

"Oh - careful," he says, catching you just before you could stumble up the stairs, "you know I'd do anything to get that goddamn asshole out of your head, but you really can't make me take advantage of a drunk girl."

Again, the words were only meant for you as you fell back against his chest, strong arms holding you, his hot breath brushing your neck, his lips just below your ear. 

He managed to get you up, and once you were both surrounded by even more people and loud music, you turn to face him.

"I might be drunk, but I'm not a girl," you say, looking at him challengingly.

"Oh," he laughs, "did I miss anything?" He looks at you for a moment, the grin never leaving his lips.

You just glare back at him.

"Fine, excuse me, ma'am," he says, making you giggle.

"But you are drunk," he observes. 

"Then let's get even more drunk together," you decide, taking his hand to lead him into the kitchen. 

"Sounds like a plan," Choso says, laughing, "Lead the way."

If you had turned around, you would have seen the adoration with which he looked at you. At that moment, he would have followed you anywhere. 

Maki was already sitting on the kitchen counter and Nobara was standing next to her, giggling at something she said. The two were drinking from red plastic cups when Yuta made his way over to them, waving at you. 

You wave back at him before you look around to see Yuji still mixing cocktails.

You and Choso push past some people to keep Yuji company, who hands you both two cups. Yuji grins as you taste his secret recipe and you immediately grimace. Right now you can definitely taste more than four different kinds of alcohol and that should be enough of a statement to make a final judgement about his creation

"I mean, it does it’s job but please don't ever start bartending anywhere," you groan and take another sip.

"Yeah, listen to her," Choso says, but he empties his drink before you do.

"Hey, don't hurt me like that," Yuji protests, "you weren't complaining earlier, though." 

"Well yeah," you say, "But I don't take any responsibility for the fact that you had the plan to get me drunk."

"Oh, I would never do such things," the pink-haired boy says, pouring another cup for Choso before changing the subject.

"My brother was doin’ a pretty good job down there in that basement, huh?"

"Yes, he definitely was," you gush as he reminds you, "but where were you? You missed something."

"Oh, I didn't," he replies, "I was right next to him, watching all the magic happen right in front of me."

"Really?" The music changes and you had to shout over it.

"Yeah, but I guess you only had eyes for someone else," Yuji grins, making you blush.

You sip from your cup, cheeks red and the grin still on your lips, but you don't say anything, instead looking up at Choso. 

"I'm going outside for a smoke, join me if you want," he says in a low voice, letting go of your hand, only now realising that you've been holding it the whole time.

You nod and watch him until he disappears through the kitchen door and out onto the patio. You see him join Gojo and Getou who had been sitting outside with Hakari, Kirara, Nanami and Haibara for a while. Before Choso could even sit down, Hakari was already holding a joint out to him.

Yuji snaps you out of your thoughts and you take another sip of your drink.

"Hey, what's going on, huh?"

You weren't sure what he was hinting at.

"What?" you ask, trying to concentrate on what he is saying.

"You and my brother," he replies, getting straight to the point, "what's going on with you two?"

"I don't know," you say, not even lying, "nothing? Something? I don't think I can say."

"Mhm," Yuji pauses and looks around before turning back to you, "Megumi's here tonight, I saw him earlier."

"Great," you say and put down your cup, "I don't care."

"I think I've heard that before," he sighs while looking at you with worry in his eyes.

"Yeah, well, I don't really care," you say, slightly disappointed, "he doesn't care about me either."

"I doubt that," Yuji tells you, without specifying what exactly he doubted. 

You lean against the counter next to him and watch the people standing around in the kitchen. Most of them were talking, shouting at each other over the loud music, dancing or laughing.

You had already drunk a lot and no decision you would make now would be a good one. Your senses were far too clouded for that, but you needed that kind of ease, you wanted to turn off your racing thoughts. So you didn't have too many options, either you could bang your head against the wall to stop thinking about him, or…

"Let's do some shots," you suggest, almost immediately hearing Yuji groan. You grab a bottle of tequila from the bar and pour yourself and Yuji two glasses.

"What about lemon or salt?", Yuji protests, but you just clink glasses with him.

"What an amateur," you retort, raising the glass to your lips, downing the contents and immediately refilling it, "works just fine without it."

"I hate you," you hear Yuji groan as he does the same, "this is fucking disgusting."

You both start to laugh at Yuji's disgusted expression. The tequila burns as it runs down your throat and you realize just how much you overdid it already.

But wasn't that half the fun? You always had the best nights when you and Maki would stumble into your apartment early in the morning, still completely drunk, with Yuta struggling to somehow try and get you two into your beds.

You start to refill your glasses when Yuji puts the half-empty bottle aside and looks at you with that worried look on his face. Before you can protest or tell him off for looking at you like that, someone else catches your attention.

That couldn’t be.

"Oh, he wouldn't do that…", you say under your breath, completely in disbelief, "that fucking..." 

Yuji holds you by your wrist. The two of you just stand there and watch as Megumi stumbles into the kitchen.

He was holding the hand of a blonde stranger. A stranger, at least until she turns around and sits down on the kitchen island in the middle of the room. You see Maki and Nobara turn to them as well, with Yuta looking at you instead.

You recognize the blonde girl right away.

And just when you think this scene couldn't get any more absurd, you watch as Megumi kisses Yue. Yue, the girl from the party last weekend, the one who went to the same class as you. The girl who tried to stop you from looking for Megumi. 

The girl who was so "worried" about you.

"What the fuck," you curse, trying to free yourself from Yuji's grip, "I'm going to fucking claw her eyes out, I fucking mean it."

Yuji was the only one who could hear you, loud music was still blaring from several speakers throughout the house.

"Am I fucking dreaming?" you yell over the music, "fucking let me go Yuji, I'm gonna..."

"That's his ex-girlfriend." Yuji says. Nothing else, just 'That’s his ex-girlfriend.

Ex-girlfriend?

"I saw him talking to her right after he tried to beat up Choso," he adds.

He didn’t. That couldn’t be—

"No, he..." That couldn’t be true.

"I saw his car outside her dorm the morning after the party when I was walking over to football practice."

It took you a moment to process this information.

"He didn't..." You wanted to throw up. Maybe it was just the tequila, but there was still the tiny chance that this bizarre scene was to blame for you suddenly feeling sick to your stomach.

"Get a fucking room, you disgusting piece of shit." You hear Nobara screaming over the music while Megumi and Yue were tightly entwined, standing right in the middle of the fucking room.

You were still standing next to Yuji, leaning against the kitchen counter and if looks could kill, the two of them would probably have turned to dust by now. You stared at Megumi, watching him as his hands wandered up her thighs and ass, caressing her waist while they made out as if they were the only people in the room.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, your eyes met. 

You could swear he was looking you straight in the eye as his lips trailed down her neck. His eyes were as dark as ever, almost pitch black, and if you were being honest you couldn't be sure if he was just drunk or if he took something else. Even by his standards, the show he was putting on was truly out of character

If that was one of his sick fucking games he liked to play he definitely did not give you a heads-up. What was he trying? Getting back at you for last weekend? What was he trying to achieve? And Yue was his ex-girlfriend? How come you're only finding out now, and how did she have the audacity to even look you in the eye last weekend, let alone try to comfort you?

"You don’t threaten someone you love with a gun."

Well, good for her that he was obviously treating her completely fucking different.

He seemed unfazed by Nobara's comment, and after your brief eye contact, he closed his eyes again, focusing entirely on the blonde in front of him. 

You were almost boiling with rage and the faces you made, made it really difficult to hide your anger.

"Let go of me," you say again with such emphasis that Yuji actually let go of your wrist.

"Don't do anything stupid," he says, clearly overwhelmed by the situation.

"Oh, I would never." Your voice dripped with sarcasm.

'Don’t do anything stupid.' - You didn't even know what to do. For a moment you thought about going up to Yue and ripping out her ugly blonde extensions and telling Megumi how pathetic he was, but instead you did...

Nothing.

You gave Nobara and Maki a quick look, then turned on your heel and stormed out the kitchen door. The cool night air helped you to calm down and it managed to clear the chaos in your head a little.

You take a quick look around before you realize that Choso is still sitting outside with the others, who have spread out over the various seating areas on the patio.

You walk over to them with a determined stride, Kirara sees you from afar and greets you, causing Choso to turn around in your direction. He was sitting comfortably in a two-seater and as he looked at you, you immediately notice his heavy eyelids and dark red eyes. You smile at him and as soon as he realizes it was you, a wide grin appears on his lips.

He makes some room for you, but before he could move to the side you were already sitting next to him, leaning against him, your legs casually stretched across his lap. Not averse to the sudden physical contact, he puts his arm, which had been resting on the back of the two-seater, around your waist and his other hand on your thigh.

"Hi," he says quietly, "what took you so long?"

"Oh, you wouldn't believe me," you whisper back, "your brother really hates tequila and I felt bad for making him do shots with me."

Choso laughs, not asking any more questions. 

"But I’m here now," you say, placing a hand on his chest, "guess I missed you."

"Did you smoke already?", you tease, looking up at him.

"Well, do I look like it?", he asks, that big grin not leaving his lips.

"Mhm, couldn’t tell," you lie while trying your best to hide your feelings from him.

You turn to look at the others and notice that Kirara is watching you. Gojo also looks at you from time to time, his gaze wandering from Choso's hand on your thigh to your hand on his chest. He raises an eyebrow, but you ignore him.

"Hi, y/n," Kirara says with a warm smile on their lips, "how are you? I missed you in class this week."

You could feel that they was really just concerned about you. After all, Kirara had been at the party last weekend as well.

"Yes, I'm better, I think," you answer and try to fake a smile, "Thanks for asking.

Kirara smiles at you again, "I can send you all the important stuff we did. It's not much though."

You watch as Hakari pulls them closer to him, his large body making them look so much smaller in comparison. Hakari and Kirara were one of your two favourite couples, the other one being Yuta and Maki, of course. He adored Kirara and wasn’t afraid to show that every chance he got.

You hear Getou clear his throat and you turn your gaze away from the two to look at him. You see that he is holding a joint out to you.

"You want some?", he asks and you politely decline.

"Oh, no, I think I need to chill for a bit." You smile at him. Your head was already spinning and you couldn't handle the sensation of another drug right now.

"Come on, you've got to try it, Hakari brought the good stuff," Gojo says, making you think for a moment before you reach out for Getou's hand.

"You're so easy to convince," you hear Gojo snort. He grins at you as you take a drag, but you just stick out your tongue.

"Or, maybe you’re just really convincing," you tell him, taking another drag before passing it to Choso.

"I'll remind you who's easy later tonight," Getou says, coming to your defence. You and the others break into laughter at his comment and watch as Gojo crosses his arms over his chest.

You hear the two of them start bickering and notice that the others, Hakari, Kirara, Nanami and Haibara, were also returning to their heated conversation.

"Did something happen in there?", Choso asks a little while later. He was observant even when he wasn't. Of course he had noticed something. You sigh, Hakari has just handed you the joint again and you hold it between your fingers. You take a drag, then a second one.

"Yeah," you say, blowing out thick, white smoke, "but I really just want to forget about it." 

It had already worked. Since you went outside, you had pushed the thought of Megumi and Yue far away from you. It was all so confusing, this time you couldn't understand what his motive could be. Of course he was angry that you had made out with Choso at the party last weekend, but you two had broken up. Why had he waited for you that night in the first place, was he really so shallow that all he wanted from you was sex? And what did he need you for anyway if he had spent the night with her after he dropped you off? 

The look he gave you earlier had been intentional. He wanted to make sure you were watching him, no doubt about that.

"It doesn't seem to be working very well," Choso says as you rest your head on the arm he has wrapped around you. You look up at him as your hand moves to caress his cheek for a moment but as soon as you notice, you pull it back. Even though Choso doesn't seem to mind. It just felt natural, you wanted to touch him as you enjoyed the feel of his hand on your skin as well.

"Being with you helps," you say, without breaking eye contact. That was the truth. Being with him felt peaceful, you didn't have to be afraid that he would snap at any moment, at something you said or did.

You didn't even notice that Nanami and Haibara had already gone inside, presumably to leave the party. Only when Hakari puts out the joint and says goodbye to take Kirara home, you look away from Choso to look at the others. 

Gojo does not make any effort to leave until Getou gets up, standing next to Gojo and looking at him expectantly.

"Come on, Satoru," you hear Getou say, "it's almost two o'clock, we have training tomorrow."

"Yes, but not until ten," the man with the white hair replies, not understanding why he should move now. Getou gives him a meaningful look and Gojo's eyes widen as he rose to his feet.

"Oh, uh - let's see what's going on inside then, I guess," he says, propping himself up on his knees to get out of the chair he was sitting in, "see you guys." 

Getou waves goodbye before pushing Gojo in front of him towards the patio door.

You’re all alone now, besides a few people standing outside and talking. You admire the night sky for a moment while neither of you says a word. It’s so quiet outside, peaceful even.

"Just the two of us, huh?", you say as you look up at Choso. You think for another moment but then, before he's has a chance to even say anything, you kiss him.

Choso wasn’t exactly surprised and instead kissed you back. His hand, which had just rested on your thigh, moved a little further up until it cupped your ass, moving up under your tiny skirt in a swift motion. 

You put your hand on his chest to support yourself and Choso pulls away for a brief moment. 

"You're so beautiful," he mutters, looking down at you through heavy eyelids and making you giggle, "I missed you." 

Then, your lips meet again. You move to straddle his lap, now sitting on top of him you were the one looking down at him.  

"You’re not so bad yourself, y’know," you whisper into his ear as you cradle his face in your hands, your thumb gently caressing the split in his lip.

When he said he missed you, you knew what he meant. 

Because you did, too.

Last weekend wasn't the first time you two had kissed. When Megumi had broken up with you, Maki had to study for some important exams and you had forbidden her from rotting with you in your depression cave. To make it easier for her, you had taken yourself out for a few evenings to Yuji’s place. He welcomed you with open arms in his new apartment, which he had just moved into with his brother. This was also the first time you got to know Choso properly, away from parties or those few casual encounters on campus.

It started innocently enough, your movie nights, the two of them watching every romcom with you that you had picked out beforehand. However, Yuji usually had training the next day, so he had to go to bed early. Choso promised to drive you home later, and as soon as Yuji disappeared into his room, you moved on to other things. He showed you some new songs, and sometimes a friend  of his would come over and Choso would sell him some weed. 

And at the end of the night you would find yourself spread out on his black leather couch, with his head buried between your thighs. 

It became a habit until Maki's exams were done and she wanted to spend more time with you.

You were glad that the couch you were sitting on had its back to the window in the kitchen, protecting you from the prying eyes of those who went outside to smoke or enjoy the cool night air. As you climbed onto Choso's lap, your skirt had risen up quite high, almost to your waist but you were past the point of caring what others would think.

You’re planting small kisses up his neck and jaw, watching him and how he enjoyed having you in his embrace. After a little while he pulls you into another kiss, this time you’re feeling exactly how hungry he was for you. You bite down on his bottom lip, hard, before you pull away for a moment to gasp for air. While you were grinding down on him, you could feel the thin fabric of your panties slowly getting coated with your slick as you were searching for some kind of friction. 

"How about…", you pause, while kissing his neck up to his earlobe, feeling him slowly but surely getting hard beneath you.

"How about we take this inside, maybe look for an empty room?", you finish your sentence.

You didn't have to ask twice before Choso had already grabbed you. He had one arm around your waist, his other hand digging into your hips while you let out a little squeal before wrapping your legs around his middle. He carried you a few steps until he gently set you down in front of the door into the kitchen.

"You’re going to have to walk real close in front of me," he mutters into your ear as he turns you around to take the lead. You could feel how hard he was already as he was pressed up against you and you couldn’t help but giggle at his remark. 

"I promise they’ll be way too drunk to notice," you say, "but let’s get inside and help you with that." 

***

"Shit—" You hear Choso curse under his breath as he was standing behind you, pumping his dick in his fist a few times before lining himself up with your entrance. He had you bent over the bathroom sink right in front of him, his other hand digging into the flesh of your hips, surely leaving bruises on your skin.

You hear a loud bang at the door, but decide to ignore it. The person could find another bathroom, you were sure the house was big enough to have a few other options. As the person knocks a second time, this time even louder than the first, you feel Choso getting impatient.

"What the—", he mutters, turning towards the door. "Fuck off," he shouts, getting distracted for just a second while you were so desperate for him to fuck you already. You scoot your ass back against him, feeling the leaking tip of his cock sliding through your dripping wet folds and turning his attention back to you.

"Hold - fuck - hold still," he groans before pushing you down with his hand on your back, holding you in place so you were unable to squirm under his touch. 

"How about you hurry up a bit?", you tease from underneath him, earning yourself a slap on your ass almost immediately. You jerk forward a little, not expecting him to do that, but enjoying the stinging sensation to your skin all the same.

You let out a small moan as he pulls you back up against his chest, cupping your breast with one hand while pinching your nipple, "You’re in a hurry now, huh?", he groans and without giving you another heads-up, he pushes into you slowly. 

He was stretching you out already without even being all the way in, locking eyes with you in the mirror before bottoming out completely, letting out a loud groan as he did.

Choso watches as your lips formed an O, needy moans escaping your mouth while he is thrusting into your wet pussy at a devilishly slow pace. You could feel the perfect curve and every ridge of his dick, stretching you out so well before he pulls out almost entirely, just the tip prodding at your needy hole.

"Tell me what you want," he whispers into your ear, sending goosebumps all over your body. His hand squeezes your breasts and you moan at his request, his low voice going straight to your core, making you even wetter than you already were.

"Tell me, did you miss me?," he groans, not breaking eye contact with you, "did you miss my dick?" He plants kisses down your neck and before you could give him an answer he pushes into you again, picking up his pace this time. You cry out at the sudden sensation, the stretch making your eyes roll back while loud moans were falling from your lips. 

"I miss— fuck…", you whine, "'missed you, 'missed your cock inside of me" You had to grab onto the edge of the sink, unable to form another thought besides how good it felt to have him bully his dick into you. 

"Please…", you beg as he continues to fuck into you, holding your trembling body tight against his own.

He watches how your body reacts to him as he was pounding in and out of your pussy relentlessly, your walls squeezing down on his cock so hard he had to use everything he had to not cum into you right then and there. 

"Look at you," he moans right into your ear, "look at yourself taking this dick so fucking good." 

His hand that was just digging into the soft skin of your hips moves further down, his fingers meeting your slick just seconds after. His thumb starts drawing harsh circles on your clit, earning  him a few loud moans that fell from your lips.

"Fuck— Choso, right there, plea—", you whine, eyes squinted shut, "please, 'wanna cum - fuck— don’t stop." 

"I said look at yourself," Choso groans into your ear as you suddenly feel him pulling his hand away, forcing you to obey him and open your eyes. You swallow at the reflection you see in the mirror in front of you.

You were already looking so fucked out, mascara smeared along your undereyes. Your tiny denim skirt was dangling around your waist and that high neck, sleeveless crop top was pulled up above your breasts, squeezing them together. 

"Good girl," he praises, pressing a kiss to your sticky temple while his fingertips continue to rub and pinch at your clit without any mercy. You cry out, louder than anticipated, and watch how tears start to prickle in the corners of your eyes. 

It was too much for you, you were barely able to contain yourself beneath him and you felt yourself getting tighter around him with every harsh thrust of his hips against your ass. Thank god the music outside was so loud, the heavy bass lining up with the lewd noises the both of you made. 

"Shit - you’re getting so fucking tight," he grunts before you hear low moans falling from his lips, "you wanna cum, pretty girl?"

All you can do is whine in response, as you already lost your ability to form meaningful sentences a while ago. "I’m gonna - gonna—", you cry, brows knit together at the overwhelming feeling of him hitting your cervix over and over again. 

You watch how Choso stares at you through the reflection in the mirror, your body almost going limp as you feel your core tightening and the only thing you were being able to do was moan his name, again and again.

"Then cum for me, babygirl," he whispers, his fingertips circling your nipples and pinching your swollen clit while he fucks into your throbbing cunt, getting you closer and closer to your release, until…

"There you go," Choso coos as he feels your walls pulsating around him. Your fingernails claw and scratch at the arm that he had wrapped around you, while you were trying to hold onto something, anything…

Then your orgasm washes over you and it made your thighs shake almost immediately. Choso doesn't stop fucking you through your overwhelming peak, giving you no time to breathe until he finally cums into you as well, thick ropes of hot and sticky cum painting your pussy white while  you had your eyes closed again and you hear him moan into your ear.

You lean back against his muscular chest as the two of you try to catch your breath, raspy moans and small whimpers fall from both of your mouths while neither of you was able to say anything.

You shiver as Choso slides out of you, goosebumps prickling across your body, before he turns you around and you open your eyes to look at him. Your cheeks were flushed and your legs almost too weak to stand on, but you manage to pull your top down, covering yourself up as Choso presses a kiss to your lips. 

He helps adjusting your skirt after you put your panties back on, stumbling against him as you were standing on one leg.

"Careful—", he says and catches you, almost giving you a Déjà vu. 

"You alway got my back, huh?", you ask playfully while you’re trying to fix your hair and makeup in the mirror. 

"Doing my best," he chuckles, pulling up his pants and putting on the hoodie he took off earlier. The shirt he was wearing underneath had stains at the bottom - well, his fault for not taking it off as well. "Let’s get out before they break in the door."

You reach for your bag, now that you can stand in your knee-high boots without holding on to anything, and just as you are about to head for the door, Choso beats you to it.

He holds the door knob as he looks down at you.

"Hey, let’s do that again sometime," he grins and brushes a strand of hair out of your face, "and text me if you want me to get you home."

"You're a gentleman after all," you say and take his hand, grinning as you stand on your tiptoes to give him another kiss on the cheek. "Actually, 'lemme just find Nobara and tell her I’m leaving, I won’t be taking long," you mutter before pulling back. 

"I’ll wait outside for you," Choso says after the both of you have left the bathroom. Not a lot of people were still left and those who were, were not paying attention to the both of you. You feel him squeeze your hand once more before he lets go of it and disappears into the hallway. 

***

You try and make your way into the kitchen, as a familiar voice startles you.

"Stop using my brother to make him jealous," Yuji says, his voice unusually cold as he suddenly pulls up behind you.

You freeze and turn around, slowly.

"What?", you ask, not willing to believe what you’ve just heard. 

"I'm sorry, y/n, but you heard me right," He was serious. Where had he suddenly come from? Had he seen or... heard you? 

"It’s not - it’s not like that, I mean, I," you stammered, completely taken by surprise, "I’m not using Choso."

"Honestly, Y/N, I don't care what you say, I care about my brother, and all you've been doing lately is destroying yourself. You don't give a fuck about your friends, we're always here for you, and yet you go back to him every chance you get."

Ouch.

You could tell he was drunk. This was unusual for him, he was an athlete and although he liked to go to parties, he rarely drank alcohol himself, apart from a few shots for fun. And it took a lot to get Yuji drunk, you were speaking from experience.

The words that came out of Yuji's mouth hurt you. He was right, but none of your friends had called you out on your bullshit yet.

"I can't save you, Y/N. I've given up on that, but don't drag Choso into this. He has no bad intentions and he would actually treat you well, I know you don't want that." Yuji was so serious and you couldn't even argue with him because he was right.

"Your brother is a grown man," you reply coldly, not even able to look him directly in the eyes.

"Yeah, exactly, he’s a man. Plus - he likes you." 

It wasn't as if you denied the way Choso looked at you with absolute adoration in his eyes. You knew he would move heaven and earth if you asked him for something, and even if he wasn't pushy, you could count on him. He was thoughtful and gentle, he knew what you liked and didn't like, and sex with him was fun, so what exactly were you missing?

"Listen, Yuji, this in none of your business," you say, trying your best to keep your calm, "I don’t need saving and your brother is perfectly capable of looking after himself, so—"

"Yeah, whatever," Yuji barks, taking a sip from the bottle in his hand that you only noticed now, "don't come back crying if he hits you again."

Wow. 

You watch him leave as you realize that you've never seen your best friend so upset. You take a step back, startled by the feel of the wall behind you. You feel your way along the cold wall, down the dimly lit hallway, not sure where you want to go, but you wanted to get away from here. Looking for a door to get out, you pass a few couples making out. 

You push down the door handles of a number of locked rooms and people coming towards you bumped into you. Some of them apologise, others look you up and down, whistling or shouting something at you, but your tunnel vision prevented you from noticing anything. 

You had your guard down while the things Yuji had said to you played over and over in your head. 

Just as you reached the door at the end of the corridor, it was a glass door and you could see the starry night sky through it, someone slammed you hard into the wall. You were pushed into the chest of a much taller person who opened the door to your right with one hand and pushed you in with the other. 

"Hey—", you protested, but you had no chance. The man was much stronger than you and at least two heads taller. The familiar scent that rose to your nostrils as you were pressed against his chest set off alarm bells ringing in your head. 

And as you looked up, even the last doubts you naively had were erased.

"Megumi…", you gasp, and immediately try to get a few steps between the both of you. You hear him lock the door behind him and you instantly feel like a cornered animal. Your eyes scan the room for ways to escape, but unless you wanted to climb out the window, the door was the only way out. 

He looked you straight in the eye, all emotion gone from his face. It was obvious that you, on the other hand, were scared. You hadn't seen anyone outside and you were alone in some guest bedroom that was located in a part of the house where you couldn’t even hear anymore music playing.  

You clutched your bag and pulled your big leather jacket, which you had put on on the way out, tightly around you.

As if that would somehow protect you.

Megumi was still standing by the door, motionless. The grin on his lips never reached his eyes as he stared at you.

"I heard you were having fun in there," he says as you watch him closely.

Fuck.

"Yeah, and I want to leave now," you reply, trying your best to contain your voice, "why don’t you go back to Yue and leave me alone?" 

"Mhm." He seems like he’s thinking about it for a moment. "I don’t think so."

You gather all your courage as you decide to walk towards him.

"Cut your bullshit, Megs," you demand, "let me out of here."

He grabs you roughly as you try to reach for the door, pushing you back into the room.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?", you hiss, not willing to hold back anymore.

"You show up here, with your ex-girlfriend, making out with her, in front of me, in front of all my friends, and when you don't get the reaction you want, you jump me?" You almost yell at him and he was still just standing there in front of you with no reaction.

"I'm not doing this anymore Megumi, this isn't one of your little games anymore," you add, on the verge of tears, "why are you doing this to me?"

"I'll do whatever I want to you," his voice was as calm as always, scaring the living shit out of you as he walks towards you.

"I don't care about Yue, she was just, well, there," he says, watching you closely, "I wanted to know if you meant any of what you were saying last weekend, but as soon as your cute ego gets hurt you’re letting the next best guy fuck you in the bathroom."

You feel tears prickling in your eyes, and your attempts to blink them away only cause them to trickle down your cheeks.

"Oh," he mocks you, "now you’re crying." 

"Fuck you," you hiss and wipe the tears from your face. 

When he was standing right in front of you, you could smell not only his familiar scent, but also the smell of alcohol as he spoke to you. He was tense, you could feel it, and in the darkness his eyes looked almost pitch black as he stared at you.

"Watch how you talk to me," he says through clenched teeth, "just because you can't stand that you act like a fucking slut every time, just to get my attention."

What he said made you cry even more and you didn't bother trying to wipe off the tears anymore.

"I don’t wanna talk to you right now," you sob, but of course he doesn’t care what you want.

"But I wanna talk to you," he barks, grabbing you by your wrists as you try to shuffle away from him, "what is it about him that you go back for a second and a third, huh? Want me to beat him up for good this time?"

He was squeezing your wrists so hard that it hurt. 

"I’ll kill him if he ever touches you again," he spits, "fucking dirty whore."

You weren't sure what hurt more, his words, or the way he twisted your arms to bring you closer to his face.

"Shut the fuck up and leave me alone," you manage to get out, "you’re pathetic. I don’t need you."

You try to break free of his grip a second time, only this time he lets go of you to push you away from him. He does this with such force that you lose your balance and stumble backwards into the bed frame, which was now right behind you.  

You land on the mattress and before you know it, you feel his hand clench around your throat, pulling you up to his eye level again. You have to stand on your tiptoes to take some of the pressure off your neck.

He didn’t squeeze much but it still hurt. His grip was strong as ever and you couldn't move, so you stayed still, hoping he wouldn't hurt you any more.

You grimaced in pain and tried to look him straight in the eye. Somehow he had to realize what he was doing, didn't he? He was delirious and that frightened you. You knew this kind of situation all too well and it made you freeze. There was nothing you could do about it, you could only beg him to stop or try and keep still.

"Megumi, please, I’m sorry, you’re— you’re right," you sob, cheeks wet with tears, "just let me go, please…"

Suddenly you feel his hand tighten around your throat, but you don't realize it until he grabs you  by your neck and slams you right back into the mattress behind you. You have no time to react, you just feel a sharp pain as your head hits the headboard and then he finally presses down hard on your throat. You're helpless, gasping for air, barely able to process what he's just done.

"You’re such a fucking whore, Y/N," he fumes, shaking you and pushing you even deeper into the mattress, "you deserve to get treated exactly like the little fucking slut you are."

You whimper and cry, while hearing the blood rushing through your ears as you struggle against his grip.

Panic rises in you and you feel your eyes begin to sting with more hot tears running down your cheeks. In your desperate struggle you feel your muscles ache and your body give in, the shock knocking the last bit of air out of your lungs and you can't breathe, you know you're about to pass out.

"Tell me again who’s pathetic?" His face was right next to yours as he whispered into your ear.

You couldn't stop crying, even though you couldn't even make a sound. You were sure he was going to kill you this time. 

You had to fight back, but he was so much stronger than you.

"Megumi…", you groan.

"I— I need to—", you cough, desperately trying to claw at his arms, "breathe…please…stop—"

You cry and plead and try to free yourself, all while your strength slowly but surely leaves your body. And then, just milliseconds before you were about to lose consciousness, you feel the air flowing back into your lungs. 

You're so out of breath, coughing and choking and crying all at the same time, while your throat burns so badly, that for a moment you're not even sure he's really let you go.

The moment he lets go of you and stands up, you pull your legs towards you and crawl as far away from him as you can, putting your hands around your neck for protection, pulling the high-neck of your top up over the bruises that were probably already starting to form. 

You shake uncontrollably and can hardly stop crying, while he just stands there watching you. You wrap your arms around your legs, concentrating on your breathing as your body continues to shake.

Then he turns and leaves the room without another word to you.

And you wonder if this is your fault.

***

"I'm so sorry," you say, standing behind Choso after you finally found your way out of the house. He was sitting on the steps outside the main entrance, a bottle of beer in his hand, waiting for you. You snuggle into your much too large jacket as you sit down next to him.

"You've been gone for half an eternity." Choso gently nudged into your side and you wince, barely noticeable.

"Nobara was throwing up downstairs," you lie, "I couldn’t leave her."

"Oh, really," he says, you couldn't know he'd seen her leave almost an hour ago, "poor girl, I hope she's feeling better now.

You say nothing, tugging at the high neckline of your top, your legs bouncing nervously.

Choso notices and puts a hand on your thigh. You flinch again and this time he feels it.

"Are you all right?", he asks worriedly, looking at you. Your long hair hides the bruises on your neck, but what it can't hide is your blank stare, your swollen lips and your red, watery eyes.

You nod. 

"Yeah, I'm just cold," you say, trying to smile. Your throat's still hurting when you speak.

He puts the bottle to the side and shuffles closer to you. 

The both of you were sitting on the stairs for a while, neither one of you saying a single word. Choso sensed that something must have happened, but what could he do? He knew you lied to him about Nobara, so he figured you wouldn't tell him anything he didn't want to hear.

"Sometimes I just want what they have, y’know?", you sigh after a while and lean into Chosos side, resting your head on his shoulder for a moment.

"I know I will never find that kinda love."

You're talking about the scene that took place in front of you, a scene that caught your attention immediately. Yuta and Maki were about to leave the party together, and Maki was completely drunk. Yuta had his arm around her to manoeuvre her into the car. They both giggled while Maki tried to wrestle her boyfriend, making it harder than it had to be for the poor boy to get her home quickly.

As you look away, you notice that Yuji was sitting in the passenger’s seat with the window down.

He was getting impatient, waiting for them to finally get into the car, and as he turned to see what was taking them so long, your eyes met briefly. 

You saw him open his mouth as if to say something, but then he noticed Choso sitting next to you and he immediately turned away.

He was still mad at you.

Yuta had finally made it and Maki was sitting safe and sound in the back seat. He planted a kiss on her forehead before gently closing the door behind her and walking around the car. You looked away but he caught you watching the scene and stopped for a moment, flashing you both a smile before he waved goodbye, got into the car and drove off.

"What do you mean?" you hear Choso's voice after you have sat in silence for another while. The car disappeared and you just stared into the distance, trying to find the right words.

"I don't know, there's just no...", you pause for a moment, thinking how pathetic you're going to sound, "there's just no darkness."

That's it. Everything about their relationship was genuine, they cared for each other. There was not a hint of jealousy, no one was trying to control or manipulate the other.

"It's just sweet, they're just... sweet," you swallow, feeling so vulnerable in that moment, "they don't hate each other, there's just so much love. I don't know if that would ever be enough for me. Doesn't it get boring?"

Once again, you feel tears welling up in your eyes.

"Sometimes it feels like I'm going crazy," you mumble.

None of you says a word after that. At some point, you lift your head from Choso's shoulder to look at him, almost as if you want him to say something.

"You’re not," he says, his voice sounding determined.

"I mean, you're pretty fucked up, but you're not crazy." Choso pulls two cigarettes out of a pack and hands you one, lighting yours first. He stuffs the pack back into his jacket and takes a few puffs, immediately blowing the smoke out into the cool night air before turning back to you,

"I don’t fuck with insane chicks, learned my lesson." 

He nudges your side again to make sure you understand that he was joking, but you were already too far up in your head. You smoke your cigarette, breathing in the smoke as if it might bring you some kind of clarity.

"I think I'm going to get back together with him," you whisper, almost as if you don't want to hear what's coming out of your own mouth.

Choso does not answer. 

Of course he doesn’t. 

What was he supposed to say? He didn't know what exactly was going on between you and him, but at this point he knew that there was something, at least from his side. It was unfair of you to talk to him about it, of all people, and at the same time he knew that you couldn't talk to anyone else at the moment.

"Y/n, tell me, what do you want to hear from—" 

You cut him off before he could finish his sentence.

"It's a mistake, right?"

"Don't do it, just…", he pauses and takes a drag, "don't do it."

"I don't know if I can help it," you tell him, sounding defeated. 

Inhaling, you feel what you had been blocking out all along. Your throat hurts. The cigarette smoke that keeps pouring into your lungs only makes it worse, and the sudden pain in your chest when you inhale too deeply makes you wince.

You knew that those bruises would form. Like splashes of blue and green paint they would cover your neck, spreading all around your throat. 

Choso doesn’t reply to this, either. 

His head was hanging low. Not because he was disappointed or pissed off that he wasn’t able to make another move on you tonight, but because he was afraid to lose you. 

Because he knew he couldn’t really do anything to save you.

"I wish you could see yourself the way I do or the rest of the world does, really," he sighs and pulls you in, wrapping his arm around your waist and letting you rest your head against his chest. He wanted to say so much more but he stopped himself before opening his mouth. 

He knew it wouldn’t change a thing. 

@bao-yu-sarah-morningstar-wang-9 @arminsgfloll @chifuyusfingers @kokonoiscoconut thx for motivating me to keep on writing <3