#sorry guys i have to betray you because im american :(
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chadillacboseman · 1 year ago
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Hey friend, finally got to play mw2! Loved the story, but I remember you mentioned that Graves turned on the team due to Shepherd threatening his family but I’m confused where you got that info through the game a couple times and there’s nothing say he had a family or was threatened? He turned to cover his own interests and kinda went on a killing spree to tie any loose ends, seemed like he had no issues doing so. Seems more that Graves just the bad guy, Americans aren’t known for loyalty
"Americans aren't known for loyalty" fucking lol
I just made that up tbh. I didn't say it was canon, I just wrote a fic that mentioned it.
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atom-writings · 1 year ago
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What if Japan and America taught p/o martial arts along with firearms because they wanted to be like John Wick? P/o stands for platonic other.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xSM_nz6gKOI&pp=ygUVam9obiB3aWNrIGZpZ2h0IHNjZW5l
hetalia japan and america teaching their friend martial arts
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0.5k words ~ gender neutral headcanons
tw: guns, but thats it!
a/n: guys im so sorry i have 3 extracirculars n a full load of college classes with my high school ones and also russian lessons all the time im TRYING to get to requests 💀
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Japan
Kiku would be a little apprehensive about teaching you that kind of thing. Although he can't help but maintain his skills, he likes to think that that stuff is behind him.
Although if you pestered him enough, he'd give in.
During feudal times, he felt that joining any clan would be betraying his country. By swearing his loyalty to an individual, he would be giving up his promise to protect his people above anything else.
Because of this, he lived as a ronin for many years. He trained extensively in kyudo, tanto, kenjutsu, and other now-extinct forms of battle.
But if you're serious about this, he is not going to be a kind teacher. He's going to train you like he was trained... or well, as close as he can get. It's hard to get completely connected to the natural world when there's a plane overhead every hour.
He acts completely different to how you've seen him. He's not afraid to be rude and hurtful anymore, to the point that he may hurt you pretty badly in your training. But, you can tell how much this is his element.
However, he's going to teach you the spiritual aspects of the fighting techniques as well. He expects you to follow bushido if you're going to use these skills. At least, as much as you can nowadays.
He's not big on firearms though. You'll have to go to Alfred for that. Kiku finds them too... gruesome. He believes strongly that it's an unjustifiably terrible way to die, so he wouldn't teach you to use them.
America
Alfred would be the perfect friend to ask for that kind of thing. Although he's lacking in a lot of technical knowledge, he's very good at pulling off those movie stunts.
(When he was younger and being trained by others,  he always insisted on doing the flashy stuff first. And uh... none of those mentors lasted very long.)
As a teacher, he'd be very patient but not very... good at teaching, exactly. He'd do the thing you wanted to do, but he wouldn't know the steps. It'd just be a lot of ���Just do it!” which, obviously, tells you nothing.
He's quite good at teaching you self-defense stuff specifically. It's the only thing he's super good at. Though, he really has no handle on his strength. He might push you to the ground, or he might throw you out a window. It's a roll of the dice.
Also, he's a firearm collector! He's even kept some from when he was first born (Yes, he had guns when he was a baby. He's an American, after all!) You can't play around with the older ones, but the modern ones, you always have permission to take ‘em.
But he's gonna make sure you're super safe with them, also. Like, you can borrow them, but you can't take off even a single safety measure unless he's watching. Even after months of you doing crazy trick shots with them, he's still paranoid.
He loves you showing you cool tricks to do that you just... can't physically do. Like it's great that YOU can basically tear out your arm to do that, but I CAN'T!
But he'd be great at that (: he's a good friend.
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sloppythots-com · 4 years ago
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reaction
a/n: hihi so this is my first fanfic,,,go easy on me please aofhaeiufah im writing another one as we speak about reader painting corpsies nails :)
word count: 970
warnings: cursing, ooc, unedited, cringe, friends teasing each other teehee 
“hi everyone, welcome to the stream! i know it’s been like...a week since my last stream, yea sorry! i’ve been busy scrolling twitter and simping over aoc. i mean can you blame-” 
before you could finish your rant - or even start it-  about aoc, sean interrupted you, “aren’t you like the only one here you didn’t get to play with her?”
you gasped in surprise, he really had the audacity to disrespect you like that? you gave the camera a stern look and scoffed into the mic, “at least I’ll be able to vote for her in a couple of years, unlike you non-american citizen ass bitch!”
poki broke up the conversation before sean could reply. “okok, break it up kids! did you get the code y/n?” 
“um. yes? the one that starts with t?”
“that’s it! make sure you cover it up this time!~” rae teased.
“wait wait everyone shut up! i found a 10th person!” sean exclaimed excitedly. you look over at chat and see everyone freaking out, spamming “CORPSEY” and “ONLYHANDSONLYLHANDS”
as the others in the call talked about whatever, you turned to chat and let out a giggle. “you guys want corpse? i think i follow him on twitter, i don’t know much about him though - i think it’ll be a little awkward. i heard he has a really fucking nice-”
for the second time that evening, sean interrupted you, “CORPSE! hi, hello, what’s up, how are you?”
there was a couple of seconds of awkward silence, then who you assumed was corpse spoke up, “oh, hi guys. i’m-”
you quickly muted the call and yourself and screamed, “HOLY FUCKING SHIT. did you guys hear that? maybe i’m overreacting because i’ve been listening to seans pig squeals for the past eternity but holy shit. can a voice have my babies??” you rest your head in your hands and took a couple of deep breaths, “ok, so, chat. let’s make a deal. i will stream every day for a week straight if you don’t clip that and show ANYONE.” you looked up and saw the chat teasing you, even a couple donations with people telling you they already tweeted corpse. “you guys are grounded i can’t believe this - after all we’ve been through…”
you shook your head and unmuted the call, still mumbling under your breath about how much you hate it here. sean’s laugh was all you heard in your headset. you unmuted yourself and scolded sean, “shut up you leprechaun, i don’t want to listen to your dumb laugh!”
sean only laughed harder as everyone asked him what was so funny. He finally calmed down and explained himself, “y/n do you want to explain what i just saw?”
“what? wait… IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK-”
“can we start the game already?” poki complained, dragging out the syllables in ‘already’.
“marzia is watching y/n’s stream and she sent me this clip of y/n-”
“START THE GAME START THE GAME!” you screamed, watching as the messages flew by in chat. 
“don’t worry guys i’ll send the clip in chat-” sean laughed as the game started.
as ‘crewmate’ flashed across your screen, you groaned. “you know what? i’m unsubscribing from pewds, i can’t believe his wife would betray me like this! i thought we were friends, i spent like half my paycheck on her clothing line once! tsuki.market by the way - wait, no. i take that back.” you watched as everyone went their separate ways, well, almost everyone. corpse stayed behind with you, running circles around your orange bean. “oh god guys, do you think he saw the clip? oh my god oh my god, please kill me, “ you made your way to weapons with corpse following closely behind, “what if he’s upset and wants to kill me? holy shit. but i mean, it would be an honor to be killed at his hands. have you fucking seen them? homeboy is veiny as shit!” you watched as he finished up asteroids, and let out a sigh of relief when the task bar went up as he walked towards you. “ok, so i have soft confirm him as innocent? that’s kind of reassuring…”
 you two walked towards navigation and began your download, corpse standing next to you. you giggled to yourself, “is this true love? i wonder what he’s think- OH SHIT FUCK NO!” right as you were speaking, rae and sean walked in and before you could close the download and report rae for killing corpse you were brutally shot. “fuck, but i guess i died with the one and only corpse so it’s not that bad?” you sighed, but quickly smiled when you saw a red dot on the chat box. 
CORPSE
that was a hilarious reaction lmaooooooooooooo
“should i go for it chat? i could either risk my entire career or be a little pussy. i already embarrassed myself more than humanly possible tonight,” you mumbled. your eyes scanned the chat for the answer you wanted and you laughed, “mama ain’t raise no bitch!”
y/n
hilarious enough to get your number?
you spammed open and closed the chat and bit your lip nervously, “ok, that might’ve been a mistake but like at least i tried. remember kids, you never know what could’ve been unless you try-” you stopped mid-sentence as you read his response. 
CORPSE
maybe next time sweaty
you banged your desk in embarrassment, “i take back what i said, never try, never put yourself out there, all you’ll do is embarrass yourself to thousands of people in the chat of a game about killing rainbow beans in space!!” you read chat as people teased you, some pitying you. “all of you; go to your rooms. and give me your credit card information, you lost money privileges!”
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just-random-obsessions · 5 years ago
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Funny Moments In Thor The Dark World
Find Thor 1 here
Find Avengers 1 here
This is the second part of me watching all three thor movies and the avengers movie and comparing the humor pre-ragnarok to the humor in the 3rd Thor movie. And, as before, I’m writing this on my computer where the I and U keys don’t work so sorry for any spelling mistakes.
Tag List: @nikkoliferous @fyrecrafted @lokijiro @miskiett @darthxerik @icyxmischief @iamanartichoke @juliabohemian @official-and-unstable-satan @melodylnoelle @just-another-human-2019 @fandomsfanfiction @mentallydatingahotcelebrity @cateyes315 @burningarbiterheart @imnotacreepijustlikeyou @usedtobegoodfriend96 @alexakeyloveloki
Official-and-unstable-satan and fandomsfanfiction weren’t tagged sry
Anyone who wants to be added/removed to the tag list please let me know! and if I missed someone please also let me know. Sorry this post is so long
~ “Hello Mother. Have I made you proud?”
~ “Please don’t make things worse” “Define worse”
~ “I really don’t see what all the fuss is about”
~ “Just like you”
~ *That smile!!!!*
~ “I’ve got this completely under control!” “Is that why everything’s on fire?”
~ *About the Scary MonsterTM: “All yours”
~ *Thor says hi to the Big Scary MonsterTM*
~ “I accept your surrender”
~ “Anyone else?” *All the people simultaneously: NOPE*
~ “Perhaps next time we should START with the big one”
~ *Odin obviously shipping Thor and Jane* (idk I got a kick out of this)
~ *Jane awkwardly avoiding her date*
~ *Date: hi*
~ *Him awkwardly talking about his ex*
~ “And the fact that she kept sleeping with other men” “NO!”
~ *Darcy being mistaken for a waitress*
~ *Darcy mouthing “Cute” to Jane about Richard*
~ *Darcy embarrassing Jane by talking about Thor*
~ “Is there a point to all of this cause there REALLY needs to be a point to all of this”
~ “That’s what I said!”
~ “That’s what I did!”
~ “He’s not interested” “I’m interested” (Am I the only one who feels like his awkwardness was actually kinda cute?)
~ “He’s my intern.” “You have an intern?”
~ *Intern is fucking adorable like Richard*
~ “I have totally mastered driving in London!” *Has not mastered it at all*
~ *Selvig running around Stonehenge naked*
~ *Darcy keeps calling Ian ‘Intern’*
~ *Darcy calls Jane cause she didn’t wanna shout*
~ God I fucking love Darcy she’s so criminally underrated
~ “I am not getting stabbed in the name of science”
~ “It’s okay, we’re Americans!” “Is that supposed to make them like us?”
~ “We’re scientists-well I am” “Thanks”
~ “That doesn’t seem right”
~ “I wanna throw something! Jane give me your shoe!”
~ *Jane ignores Darcy*
~ “Give me your shoe”
~ “Were those the car keys?”
~ *Ian’s face when he realizes he threw the car keys to another planet*
~ *If you have to bury so many people then you’re doing something wrong you hot dumb fuck* (I mean that’s basically what Heimdall said right?)
~ “Typical” *after being left behind while Jane goes to talk to her boyfriend*
~ *Jane! Love of my life and most talented and beautiful person in the world oh how I love yo-SLAP*
~ “As excuses go, its not terrible”
~ “I know” “You do?” “Do what?”
~ *Darcy interrupts the KissTM*
~ “Um I’m pretty sure we are getting arrested”
~ “How’s space?” “Space is fine”
~ “He’s my intern… My intern’s intern”
~ “Holy shit!” (after Jane went up in the Bifrost)
~ *Heimdall calmly dodges the car*
~ “We have to do that again”
~ “Hello”
~ “What’s that?”
~ “It’s a soul forge” *No I’m pretty sure that’s a quantum field generator*
~ *Jane being ready to fight Odin for comparing her to a goat*
~ “You told your dad about me?”
~ “It must be so inconvenient, them asking about me day and night”
~ “Please meet my mother” *Jane shies away from Thor*
~ Loki casually tossing the thingamajig in the air like the cute little shit he is
~ Lord, he’s so damn pretty
~ *Kurse being like: Lol I ain’t touchin’ that boy with a ten foot pole*
~ “It’s as if they resent being in prison”
~ “There’s no pleasing some creatures”
~ *Loki calmly reading a book while all Hel breaks loose*
~ “You have my word that no harm will come to yo-” nvm bitch die
~ *THAT look between Sif and Jane*
~ *Frigga immediately seeing through Odin’s bs lies*
~ *Heimdall: I have defeated the big space ship!! The bigger one behind him: Bitch you thought*
~ “WITCH!!!!” *Now I know who Loki gets his amazing aforementioned smile from*
~ *Selvig using shoes to explain complicated science*
~ *Selvig then using pencils*
~ “Any questions?” “Yeah, can I have my shoe back?”
~ “What’s SHIELD?” “It’s a secret”
~ *Darcy’s cute af face when she sees that Selvig is in the mental hospital*
~ “Are you sure you wouldn’t just rather punch your way out?”
~ *Loki shapeshifting into the guard*
~ “Mmm Brother, you look ravishing”
~ “Costumes a bit much”
~ “So tight!”
~ “I can FEEL the righteousness surging!!”
~ “HEY wanna have a rousing discussion about truth?”
~ “Honor?”
~ “Patriotism?”
~ “GOD BLESS AMERICA!”
~ “At last. A little common sens-”Bitch are you really fucking kidding me? (What do you mean that’s not what he said?)
~ “I thought you liked tricks”
~ “I’m Loki, you may have heard of-” SLAP
~ “That was for New York”
~ “I like her”
~ *Loki gazing lovingly at Jane in the background*
~ “Betray him, and I’ll kill you.” “It’s good to see you too Sif”
~ “If you even think about betraying him-” “You’ll kill me? Evidently there will be a line”
~ “I thought you said you knew how to fly this thing.” “I said how hard can it be?”
~ “Whatever your doing brother I suggest you do it faster.” “Shut up Loki
~ “You must’ve missed something.” “I didn’t, I’m pressing every button on this thing”
~ “Well don’t hit it. Just press it, gently.” “I aM pReSsInG iT gEnTlY AND ITS NOT WORKING!!!”
~ *Thor starts slamming buttons and it starts working*
~ *Volstagg: Oh fighting is much fun- OH SHIT IM FALLING!! HELP!!!*
~ “I think you missed a column.” “Shut up”
~ “Why don’t you let me take over? I’m clearly the best pilot”
~ *Bitch I’m the one who can actually fly*
~ “Oh dear. Is she dead?”
~ *Thor knocks over a column* “Not a word”
~ “Now they’re following us”
~ “Now they’re firing at us”
~ “Yes thank you for the commentary Loki, it’s not at all distracting”
~ “Well done, you just decapitated your grandfather”
~ *Seriously, whoever wrote the escape scene is a genius!!!*
~ *Loki yelling at Thor about how thIs was a bad idea you dumb fuck- wait wtf are you doing AAAAHHHHH!!!!1*
~ “You lied to me. I’m impressed”
~ *That smile again snfnejaihfeqrqrsbdsalxdjewonjfeq*
~ “For Asgard!” YEET
~ “Nothing personal boys!”
~ “If it were easy, everyone would do it”
~ “Are you mad?” “Possibly”
~ “TADAAA”
~ “Oh yeah, my father. Eric Selvig”
~ “And these” “yeah… those”
~ “How did you find me?” “You were naked on television”
~ “I don’t get paid enough. I don’t get paid at all”
~ “What’s happening? Birds? Birds are happening?”
~ “All right are you ready?” “I am”
~ *phone rings* “It’s not me”
~ “Why are there so many shoes in here?”
~ “I’ll just text her”
~ “So who’s Richard?”
~ *Thor hanging his hammer on a coat hanger*
~ “Where are your pants?” “Oh he says it helps him think”
~ “Loki is dead” “Oh thank God!”
~ “Better get my pants”
~ “Do you even know what these things do?” “No” “…Neither do I”
~ “Ooh get the guy with the sword!”
~ “Oops”
~ *Ian’s high-pitched scream*
~ *Does car insurance cover My Car Was Sucked Into Another Planet Due To A Cosmic Event That Only Occurs Once Every 5000 Years or no?*
~ *Thor and Malekith fighting between worlds and poor little Mjolnir trying to keep up*
~ *The two of them against windows*
~ *AAAHHH*
~ *Awww! Look at the cute little Jotunheim monster! He’s so adorable I wanna pet him so much!’
~ *Darcy and Ian kissing after he saved her life*
~ “Darcy?” “Jane!” “Ian?” “Selvig.”
~ “Myuh Myuh!!”
~ *Thor ends up on the subway*
~ *The girl taking 50 photos*
~ *Thor and the woman colliding into eachother*
~ “I’ve come to accept your surrender”
~ *Malekith gets crushed by his own ship. Now that’s some lovely karma right there*
~ *Darcy and Ian go back to kissing*
~ “He kinda committed treason on our way out” oops
~ Jotunheim Puppy chasing birds
Wow I’m so sorry this was so long. But guess what? It’s gonna get even longer. Sorry, again.
So one of the differences between the first and second Thor movies is that Thor 2 has humor in the climax whereas Thor 1 doesn’t. This is because of the differences with who is the villain. In Thor 1, Thor is having to fight his brother. To quote Avengers, they “played together and fought together” for several millennia. Of course there’s not going to be any humor in it cause there shouldn’t be. The climax at the end of the movie isn’t supposed to be some epic battle between the forces of Good TM and Bad TM. It’s supposed to be tragic that he’s having to fight his own brother because Loki lost his mind due to so many factors. The last joke in the film is “You’re an amazon liar brother, always have been” “It’s good to have you back”. There’s nothing else till the end credit scene. That’s because Kenneth Branagh knew that this was supposed to be viewed at as being sad a hopeless, not some awesome upbeat battle.
Thor 2 on the other hand, is exactly that. Thor has known Malekith for.. what? 2 days? Maybe 3? His relationship and dynamic with Malekith is different than with his brother. To Thor, this is just another enemy attacking Asgard. And I’m not sure whether this was intentional or not (because I remember reading somewhere how Allen Taylor had a bitch of a time in the editing process so I think the movie came out different than he intended) but the lack of any personal relationship will Malekith means the film can make really funny jokes and still have it fit with the film. If anything, I might even argue that the humor helped the film to maintain a very nice positive vibe. Idk I can’t think of the right words to explain it but the jokes actually fit the film very well.
However, then we move on to Ragnarok. With Ragnarok, Thor is fighting his sister. While (just like Malekith) he has only known her for two days, that still doesn’t take away the fact that he is having to fight his sibling. And I’m not a film director but if I had the option of approaching this situation and taking it the Thor 1 route or the the Thor 2 route, I’d go with Thor 1. Because it’s actually incredibly tragic that Hela has been driven to insanity like Loki (though ok a different level) due to Odin’s shitty parenting. She is the horrible way she is because Odin made her that way. And that could’ve been an AMAZINGLY complex story with the audience feeling so much sympathy for Hela like we did with Loki in Thor 1, but the narrative just falls flat for two reasons. 1) Taika admitted he didn’t want the film to be emotionally complex so 2) The humor in the climax completely detracts from the seriousness of the situation.
Also, some side notes: Yes, this is edited from the original. I accidentally deleted everything and then had to go back and add everything back in. So I also had to re-tag people too. And I also added a bit more explanation at the end. I meant to do so when I originally posted but it never got done till now. Sry. Also sry that it’s so long
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star-anise · 6 years ago
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do you have any sources on the claims you made? im always willing to change my stance if you have legitimate backing for it haha
So first, I’m sorry for blowing up at you the way that I did. I’m not proud that I reacted in such a kneejerk, aggressive fashion. Thank you for being open to hearing what I have to say. I’m sorry for mistaking you for a TERF, and I’m sorry my response has caused other people to direct their own hostility towards you.
So, here’s the thing. “You can’t call bi women femmes” is pretty intrinsically a radfem thing to say, and I am deeply opposed to letting radfems tell me what to do. I’m trying to write this during a weekend packed with childcare and work. I’ll try to hit all the high notes.
The one thing I am having trouble finding is the longass post I talked about in my reply, that was a history of butch/femme relationships in lesbian bars, which had frequent biphobic asides and talked about “the lesbophobic myth of the bi-rejecting lesbian”; the friend who reblogged it without reading it thoroughly has deleted it, and I can’t find it on any of the tags she remembers looking at around that time. If anyone can find it, I’ll put up a link.
As far as possible, I’m linking to really widely accessible sources, because you shouldn’t intrinsically trust a random post on Tumblr as secret privileged knowledge. People have talked about this at length in reputable publications that your local library either has, or can get through interlibrary loan; you can look up any of the people here, read their work, and decide for yourself. This is a narrative of perspectives, and while I obviously have a perspective, many people disagree with me. At the end of the day, the only reason I need for calling bi women femmes is that You Are Not The Boss Of Me. There is no centralized authority on LGBT+ word usage, nor do I think there should be. Hopefully this post will give you a better sense of what the arguments are, and how to evaluate peoples’ claims in the future.
I looked up “butch” and “femme” with my library’s subscription to the Oxford English Dictionary because that’s where you find the most evidence of etymology and early use, and found:
“Femme” is the French word for “woman”.  It’s been a loanword in English for about 200 years, and in the late 19th century in America it was just a slangy word for “women”, as in, “There were lots of femmes there for the boys to dance with”
“Butch” has been used in American English to mean a tough, masculine man since the late 19th century; in the 1930s and 1940s it came to apply to a short masculine haircut, and shortly thereafter, a woman who wore such a haircut. It’s still used as a nickname for masculine cis guys–my godfather’s name is Martin, but his family calls him Butch. By the 1960s in Britain, “butch” was slang for the penetrating partner of a pair of gay men.
Butch/femme as a dichotomy for women arose specifically in the American lesbian bar scene around, enh, about the 1940s, to enh, about the 1960s. Closet-keys has a pretty extensive butch/femme history reader. This scene was predominantly working-class women, and many spaces in it were predominantly for women of colour. This was a time when “lesbian” literally meant anyone who identified as a woman, and who was sexually or romantically interested in other women. A lot of the women in these spaces were closeted in the rest of their lives, and outside of their safe spaces, they had to dress normatively, were financially dependent on husbands, etc. Both modern lesbians, and modern bisexual women, can see themselves represented in this historical period.
These spaces cross-pollinated heavily with ball culture and drag culture, and were largely about working-class POC creating spaces where they could explore different gender expressions, gender as a construct and a performance, and engage in a variety of relationships. Butch/femme was a binary, but it worked as well as most binaries to do with sex and gender do, which is to say, it broke down a lot, despite the best efforts of people to enforce it. It became used by people of many different genders and orientations whose common denominator was the need for safety and discretion. “Butch” and “femme” were words with meanings, not owners.
Lesbianism as distinct from bisexuality comes from the second wave of feminism, which began in, enh, the 1960s, until about, enh, maybe the 1980s, maybe never by the way Tumblr is going. “Radical” feminism means not just that this is a new and more exciting form of feminism compared to the early 20th century suffrage movement; as one self-identified radfem professor of mine liked to tell us every single lecture, it shares an etymology with the word “root”, meaning that sex discrimination is at the root of all oppression.
Radical feminism blossomed among college-educated women, which also meant, predominantly white, middle- or upper-class women whose first sexual encounters with women happened at elite all-girls schools or universities. Most of these women broke open the field of “women’s studies” and the leading lights of radical feminism often achieved careers as prominent scholars and tenured professors.
Radical feminism established itself as counter to “The Patriarchy”, and one of the things many early radfems believed was, all men were the enemy. All men perpetuated patriarchy and were damaging to women. So the logical decision was for women to withdraw from men in all manner and circumstances–financially, legally, politically, socially, and sexually. “Political lesbianism” wasn’t united by its sexual desire for women; many of its members were asexual, or heterosexual women who decided to live celibate lives. This was because associating with men in any form was essentially aiding and abetting the enemy.
Look, I’ll just literally quote Wikipedia quoting an influential early lesbian separatist/radical feminist commune: “The Furies recommended that Lesbian Separatists relate “only (with) women who cut their ties to male privilege” and suggest that “as long as women still benefit from heterosexuality, receive its privileges and security, they will at some point have to betray their sisters, especially Lesbian sisters who do not receive those benefits”“
This cross-pollinated with the average experience of WLW undergraduates, who were attending school at a time when women weren’t expected to have academic careers; college for women was primarily seen as a place to meet eligible men to eventually marry. So there were definitely women who had relationships with other women, but then, partly due to the pressure of economic reality and heteronormativity, married men. This led to the phrase LUG, or “lesbian until graduation”, which is the kind of thing that still got flung at me in the 00s as an openly bisexual undergrad. Calling someone a LUG was basically an invitation to fight.
The assumption was that women who marry men when they’re 22, or women who don’t stay in the feminist academic sphere, end up betraying their ideals and failing to have solidarity with their sisters. Which seriously erases the many contributions of bi, het, and ace women to feminism and queer liberation. For one, I want to point to Brenda Howard, the bisexual woman who worked to turn Pride from the spontaneous riots in 1969 to the nationwide organized protests and parades that began in 1970 and continue to this day. She spent the majority of her life to a male partner, but that didn’t diminish her contribution to the LGBT+ community.
Lesbian separatists, and radical feminists, hated Butch/Femme terminology. They felt it was a replication of unnecessarily heteronormative ideals. Butch/femme existed in an LGBT+ context, where gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgender people understood themselves to have more in common with each other than with, say, cis feminists who just hated men more than they loved women. 
The other main stream of feminist thought at the time was Liberal Feminism, which was like, “What if we can change society without totally rejecting men?” and had prominent figures like Gloria Steinem, who ran Ms magazine. Even today, you’ll hear radfems railing against “libfems” and I’m like, my good women, liberal feminism got replaced thirty years ago. Please update your internal schema of “the enemy”
Lesbian separatism was… plagued by infighting. To maintain a “woman-only” space, they had to kick out trans women (thus, TERFs), women who slept with men (thus, biphobia), women who enjoyed kinky sex or pornography or engaged in sex work (thus, SWERFS) and they really struggled to raise their male children in a way that was… um… anti-oppressive. (I’m biased; I know people who were raised in lesbian separatist communes and did not have great childhoods.) At the same time, they had other members they very much wanted to keep, even though their behaviour deviated from the expected program, so you ended up with spectacles like Andrea Dworkin self-identifying as a lesbian despite being deeply in love with and married to a self-identified gay man for twenty years, despite beng famous for the theory that no woman could ever have consensual sex with a man, because all she could ever do was acquiesce to her own rape.
There’s a reason radical feminism stopped being a major part of the public discourse, and also a reason why it survives today: While its proponents became increasingly obsolete, they were respected scholars and tenured university professors. This meant people like Camille Paglia and Mary Daly, despite their transphobia and racism, were considered important people to read and guaranteed jobs educating young people who had probably just moved into a space where they could meet other LGBT people for the very first time. So a lot of modern LGBT people (including me) were educated by radical feminist professors or assigned radical feminist books to read in class.
The person I want to point to as a great exemplar is Alison Bechdel, a white woman who discovered she was a lesbian in college, was educated in the second-wave feminist tradition, but also identified as a butch and made art about the butch/femme dichotomy’s persistence and fluidity. You can see part of that tension in her comic; she knows the official lesbian establishment frowns on butch/femme divisions, but it’s relevant to her lived experience.
What actually replaced radical feminism was not liberal feminism, but intersectional feminism and the “Third Wave”. Black radical feminists, like Audre Lorde, bell hooks, and Kimberlé Williams Crenshaw, pointed out that many white radical feminists were ignoring race as a possible cause of oppression, and failing to notice how their experiences differed from Black womens’. Which led to a proliferation of feminists talking about other oppressions they faced: Disabled feminists, Latina feminists, queer feminists, working-class feminists. It became clear that even if you eliminated the gender binary from society, there was still a lot of bad shit that you had to unlearn–and also, a lot of oppression that still happened in lesbian separatist spaces.
I’ve talked before about how working in women-only second-wave spaces really destroyed my faith in them and reinforced my belief in intersectional feminism
Meanwhile, back in the broader queer community, “queer” stuck as a label because how people identified was really fluid. Part of it is that you learn by experience, and sometimes the only way to know if something works for you is to try it out, and part of it is that, as society changed, a lot more people became able to take on new identities without as much fear. So for example, you have people like Pat Califia, who identified as a lesbian in the 70s and 80s, found far more in common with gay leather daddies than sex-negative lesbians, and these days identifies as a bisexual trans man.
Another reason radical feminists hate the word “queer”, by the way, is queer theory, which wants to go beyond the concept of men oppressing women, or straights oppressing gays, but to question this entire system we’ve built, of sex, and gender, and orientation. It talks about “queering” things to mean “to deviate from heteronormativity” more than “to be homosexual”. A man who is married to a woman, who stays at home and raises their children while she works, is viewed as “queer” inasmuch as he deviates from heteronormativity, and is discriminated against for it.
So, I love queer theory, but I will agree that it can be infuriating to hear somebody say that as a single (cis het) man he is “queer” in the same way being a trans lesbian of colour is “queer”, and get very upset and precious about being told they’re not actually the same thing. I think that actually, “queer as a slur” originated as the kind of thing you want to scream when listening to too much academic bloviating, like, “This is a slur! Don’t reclaim it if it didn’t originally apply to you! It’s like poor white people trying to call themselves the n-word!” so you should make sure you are speaking about a group actually discriminated against before calling them “queer”. On the other hand, queer theory is where the theory of “toxic masculinity” came from and we realized that we don’t have to eliminate all men from the universe to reduce gender violence; if we actually pay attention to the pressures that make men so shitty, we can reduce or reverse-engineer them and encourage them to be better, less sexist, men.
But since radfems and queer theorists are basically mortal enemies in academia, radical feminists quite welcomed the “queer as a slur” phenomenon as a way to silence and exclude people they wanted silenced and excluded, because frankly until that came along they’ve been losing the culture wars.
This is kind of bad news for lesbians who just want to float off to a happy land of only loving women and not getting sexually harrassed by men. As it turns out, you can’t just turn on your lesbianism and opt out of living in society. Society will follow you wherever you go. If you want to end men saying gross things to lesbians, you can’t just defend lesbianism as meaning “don’t hit on me”; you have to end men saying gross things to all women, including bi and other queer women.  And if you do want a lesbian-only space, you either have to accept that you will have to exclude and discriminate against some people, including members of your community whose identities or partners change in the future, or accept that the cost of not being a TERF and a biphobe is putting up with people in your space whose desires don’t always resemble yours.
Good god, this got extensive and I’ve been writing for two hours.
So here’s the other thing.
My girlfriend is a femme bi woman. She’s married to a man.
She’s also married to two women.
And dating a man.
And dating me (a woman).
When you throw monogamy out the window, it becomes EVEN MORE obvious that “being married to a man” does not exclude a woman from participation in the queer community as a queer woman, a woman whose presentation is relevant in WLW contexts. Like, this woman is in more relationships with women at the moment than some lesbians on this site have been in for their entire lives.
You can start out with really clear-cut ideas about “THIS is what my life is gonna be like” but then your best friend’s sexual orientation changes, or your lover starts to transition, and things in real life are so much messier than they look when you’re planning your future. It’s easy to be cruel, exclusionary, or dismissive to people you don’t know; it’s a lot harder when it’s people you have real relationships with.
And my married-to-a-man girlfriend? Uses “butch” and “femme” for reasons very relevant to her queerness and often fairly unique to femme bi women, like, “I was out with my husband and looking pretty femme, so I guess they didn’t clock me as a queer” or “I was the least butch person there, so they didn’t expect me to be the only one who uses power tools.” Being a femme bi woman is a lot about invisibility, which is worth talking about as a queer experience instead of being assumed to exclude us from the queer community.
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charmywrites · 5 years ago
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Bitter & Sweet (Pt. 2)
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Summary: Loosely based on the song “Idols can’t go on for 10 years, right?” by Berryz Koubou. The reader is a foreigner who’s grown up in South Korea since early childhood, upon her mother marrying a Korean man. In her adolescent years, she’s scouted by someone working for a big company and encouraged to audition. Deciding to do it for fun, the reader takes a leap and goes through with the audition. She didn’t really plan to actually get in and go on a 10+ year journey.
Part 1.
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( 2011, four years since debut. )
The magazine was thrown on the table, right in front of a young woman.
“How could you be so stupid?!” The group manager scolded, running a hand through his greying hair.
There was a page open for all to see, the other members of Ultra Smart standing solemnly behind him as they watched one of their own get punished. The picture was of the young woman, twenty-one year old Kim Nina, sleeping in some strange bed. The image was a head shot, obviously taken by whoever was sleeping next to her. Her shoulders were bare, but she wasn’t completely naked as one could see the straps of the nightie she had on. The topic of the article was ‘Sex scandal involving Ultra Smart’s leader?’ in bold, red, letters. As Ultra Smart was currently quite popular after a viral song, such a scandal brought a lot of shame onto the group and the higher ups became adamant that Nina be forced to leave.
Ultra Smart wasn’t just some group that happened to become popular. The reason why girls like you and Yoora debuted so quickly was because Ultra Smart was a group that the company planned for a long time. A lot of money and resources went into creating the group and promoting them. Not only that, the group’s music videos were well thought out and given a unique artistic flair that also went into their concerts. More than the basic staff was hired to be the backbone of Ultra Smart.
Basically, a lot of money was invested into all of the girls.
This was not taken lightly.
Even in an ordinary girl group, this wouldn’t be able to fly. And, Nina was feeling the pressure as tears streamed down her reddened face. Her head hung low in shame, unable to meet anyone gaze -- or, rather, glare. Yoora stood next to you in silence, but you knew of the older girl’s agitation at the scandal. She warned Nina to not date, at least for a while, as it would fall badly on all of you and not just her. That night, when Nina didn’t come home, Yoora resigned herself to the inevitable. Still, even she didn’t think it would be this bad.
What sort of person leaks such an intimate picture? Well, you knew, but no one else did. In a moment of weakness when you were the only shoulder to cry on, Nina told you of the guy who she’d spent the night with, but begged you not to tell anyone. She loved him, apparently, even though you bluntly told her that he must not have felt the same way. You just couldn’t understand how she would let him off the hook like that, and it left a bitter taste in your mouth when it came to men ever since.
They couldn’t be trusted.
“I-I’m so sorry.” Nina’s voice broke as she cried.
Your manager stood aside, sharply gesturing towards the group. “Apologize to them, they’re the ones who have to suffer from your actions. Do you know what the public thinks of the group now?” He asked a rhetorical question, not a soul daring to answer. “If just one girl does this, then they must all do it. They’re all cheap and easy.”
The youngest member, Lee Doyeon, sniffled; affected by all the high emotions in the room. When you lifted a hand to pat her back in comfort, she scooted a little closer. The second youngest, Im Nara, stood stone faced and quiet. The judgement on her face was apparent, however. Still, nothing was said from any of you. Some of you did feel betrayed by her actions, especially Yoora, but others sympathized. Nina found someone who made her feel special, but that person broke her heart and ruined her career.
What a pitiful situation.
A few weeks later, Nina was kicked out of the group and Yoora was made the new leader. You had occasionally seen the man who had done Nina so wrong, usually at events like Mnet, but it was only recently you decided to confront him about what he did. The world might’ve been willing to let him go without recognition, but you couldn’t.
When he saw you coming, walking with such purpose, the idol couldn’t help but smirk. “Well, here comes the golden girl.”
Back when Ultra Smart were just a bunch of rookies, many fans called you all the ‘Golden Girls’ because it was obvious how much Beyond Entertainment favored you over their older groups and artists. It confused you, because you certainly didn’t feel favored. The company put as much pressure as they reasonably and legally could on a bunch of teenagers. Sure, you were provided meals and beds when other companies didn’t even do that, but the price was a hefty schedule of lessons, appearances, concerts, and filming.
Especially as a foreigner. In Ultra Smart, there was you. There was also Nina, a Korean American, who was gone now. After her, there was a Thai trainee that replaced Ueda Aina; the former Ultra Smart member who injured herself just a year into their debut. That girl’s name was Malivalaya Suttirat, nicknamed ‘Mali’. Without Nina, it was only the two of you, and the pressure of being treated differently pushed you together. The two of you always had a sort of silent understanding with each other, the knowing that you were both sometimes still held at an arm’s length while the others didn’t go through such treatment.
After Nina was kicked out, your manager pulled you and Mali aside to make sure you didn’t ‘follow in Nina’s footsteps’. At that confrontation, you and her exchanged looks but only agreed with the man. It was obvious that he assumed foreigners must think similarly, a tiny burn of shame lit deep within you at his prejudice.
It wasn’t just Nina at fault.
“Cut the crap, Lee,” You weren’t one for small talk, using your seniority to talk informally to the other. You could tell it pushed a few buttons, Lee Junho’s smirk faltered ever so slightly. Neither of you particularly liked each other, even when Nina introduced him to try and get the girls’ blessing. You had always sensed a sort of cocky attitude radiating from the man, never finding it in yourself to like him. “I know what you did to Nina. She told me everything, so don’t even lie.”
The carelessness in his eyes made your chest burn in anger, watching as the man played stupid. “I really don’t know what you’re talking about. Nina cheated on me, but I’m the one you come for?” He started to walk off, but you followed him closely away from the eyes and ears of other idols. From the corner of your eyes, you could see a glimpse of young Doyeon’s face watching after you.
You were seething. “She was over at your dorm. You know it, she knows it, and I’m sure at least some of your members know it.” But, they couldn’t say anything, because it would bring down their own group’s reputation. “Why? She loved you, why would you do this to her?” You weren’t an expert on love by any means, but you had an idea of what it should be like. Hell, you wouldn’t even do this to someone you just liked.
He couldn’t meet your eyes, staring at anything else in the near desolate hallway. Your own cold ones looked him down, wanting at least some justice for your old leader. It was already a given that the female idol in a scandal take most of the blame and the harshest punishment, but that just wasn’t fair. Your mind just kept going back to why, why, why.
Wait a minute.
His group had a single coming out, dropping on the same day as Ultra Smart’s new single. Junho couldn’t possibly have been that competitive to want to sabotage his own girlfriend’s single, could he? There had to be more to it than that.
“I was angry.”
You caught the fainest of mumbles, but when you opened your mouth inquire he sent you a pointed glare. “Excuse me, sunbae, but I really need to meet with my group members right now. My personal life is private.” At that, the idol stalked off, leaving you to stew over his words.
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( 2015, eight years after debut. )
Sitting at a table in a private room of a Korean barbecue restaurant, you twirled the straw in your drink while waiting for someone else to show up. Yoora’s words from a few nights ago still weighed heavily on your mind.
She didn’t want to renew your contract. She wanted to graduate.
Yoora would've been the first member to leave since Nina all that time ago. But, Sunhee would beat her to it, and it seemed like they were in a race. Apparently they had both gone to visit the CEO around the same time and asked to leave. The only difference was, Sunhee didn’t want a farewell concert. She just wanted to leave quietly in two months, when the contact was over.
Half of the 1st generation was really leaving. All that would be left were you, Nara, and Doyeon.
Which was quite hard to believe. For you, at least. The only other generational Kpop group was After School, and even then it wasn’t the same. Ultra Smart had never planned on being generational, so you’d gone into the group thinking you would be with the same seven girls for all these years. The originals; Nina, Yoora, Sunhee, Aina, Nara, Doyeon, and you. When you debuted, Nara and Doyeon were so young that you couldn’t imagine leading a group with them as your second and third most senior. Now, however, they had grown into talented young women.
‘Ultra Smart needs new members.’ Your manager had relayed the CEO’s message to you. ‘There can’t be only two native Koreans in the group, the netizens are already suspecting that the eldest girls will leave soon. So, we’ll be holding an audition next month. I want you and Yoora to be present for it.’
These were more changes than you bargained for, a nervousness -- or, maybe it was hunger -- gurgling in your stomach as you worried about the group’s future. Would the netizens accept a new era of the group after so many changes in the lineup? Would the new girls take away from the group dynamic or add to it? You had always taken pride in how well the girls in Ultra Smart got along, there was no fakeness in your friendship.
Yoora...Sunhee, why do you have to go? You mulled, not hearing the door to your private room open.
“Um, hello???” Your friend, Seola, announced herself obnoxiously. Donned in her famous black hoodie and mom jeans, she gave you a smile and walked in the room. “Got your head in the clouds?”
She was followed in by her polar opposite, a petite girl in a frilly dress; your other good friend, Minah. “Hey, sweets.” The other greeted you with a wave, both of them taking a seat in front of you.
“Sorry guys,” You shook your head with a small smile. As the waiter set out two cups of water and laid out all of the menus, you decided to wait until he left the room to continue speaking. “I just have a lot on my mind right now with the group.
“Oh yeah!” Minah exclaimed, eyes wide. “I heard that Yoora had said she wanted to get married soon. Er, well, in five years maybe.”
Such words from an average person wasn’t surprising, but when an idol said it they kind of sent the idol’s fanbase in a panic. Yoora ended up being scolded for saying such loose words, even if she wasn’t dating anyone. Just the notion was dangerous to her career. At this point, however, you knew she didn’t truly care.
‘I’m tired,’ She told you that night. ‘My youth was dedicated to this life, but now I want some time for myself. I want to find out what I really want to do in life.
You can’t be an idol in your thirties, after all. Not as a woman.’
Setting your menu down, you frowned. “She wants to graduate from the group. Sunhee too.”
Minah gasped while Seola’s eyes widened. You trusted these two with your life, being friends from the same neighborhood. This wasn’t the first time you shared information with them and they kept it to themselves.
“Well,” Seola tried to look on the brightside. “You’ll be the next leader then? That’s pretty great, to be honest. The rest of the girls already look up to you, so it’ll be a walk in the park. Right?”
Oh, boy, there was so much to unload.
“The company isn’t sure if they want me to be the leader.” That was also something your manager had told you. “...Since I’m foreign. They’re thinking about it. If not, then Ultra Smart won’t have any leader.” You decided not to mention the upcoming members yet. Too much information in too little time.
“Oh.” Seola scratched the tip of her nose uneasily, looking down at the table.
Minah slammed down her menu. “That’s bullshit!” She sat down timidly upon realizing how loud she was, giving a sheepish smile. “I mean, you’ve given that company nine years of your life. Even if there’s no leader, there’s no denying that you’re next in seniority. They can’t even give you a title? You grew up here...”
A solemn silence followed. It was only broken when Seola huffed.
“All I know is, after all this time, being leader is the least you could get from them.” She said. “If they can’t give you that, maybe you should leave too. You’ve had solo singles before, go solo and leave them in the dust.” If one could take an angry sip of water, she had just done it.
Despite her encouraging words, they left a bitter taste in your mouth. You never wanted to leave Ultra Smart and go it alone, not when you could still reasonably stay within the group. You loved those girls, loved performing with them, and they needed you now more than ever.
Still, just to placate your enraged friends, you simply shrugged.
“Maybe.”
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Note: To elaborate fully, in case anyone is confused about the Ultra Smart members. Ultra Smart began as a semi-diverse group with four Korean members and three foreign members. The original lineup was Nina, Yoora, Sunhee, Aina, Nara, Doyeon, and the reader. The foreigners were the reader, Aina (a Japanese girl), and Nina (who was still considered foreign, despite being Korean American).
Currently, the group consists of Yoora, Sunhee, Nara, Doyeon, Mali, Jiang Ai, Jiang Yi, and the reader. Taking back what I mentioned in the last chapter, I’ve changed the number of members from nine to eight. A ninth member simply escaped my thought process and I decided to go with that flow.
The company truly wanted to create a diverse group, but a string of bad luck seems to follow Ultra Smart in exchange for their popularity.
How popular is Ultra Smart? Not as big as SNSD, but they’re only in second place.
When Yoora and Sunhee leave, the only native Korean members will be Nara and Doyeon -- which the public won’t take so well. So, there will be auditions for new members of Ultra Smart. They’ll likely be original characters, but let me know if you want me to switch it up and put members of existing groups into Ultra Smart. Not making promises, but I’m open to the idea.
Also, I feel SO BAD for making Junho such a bad guy, but there needed to be one. I might elaborate on him and Nina more later, but this is a blurb-like series. Boy, I really showed my age by mentioning 2PM, huh? (lol)
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Text
So last night...
For my University graduation, i went to Elephante Butte and Truth or Consequences...
Well, Tom and Sara got out of control...
Then some Islamic people came over and this bitch girl actually threw a few rocks at me and hit me in the face, for my clothes because i was talking to one of their male,family members and another directed them to,seewhat i was wearing and didnt i deserve as a woman,what they deserved?
So because i jumped up and shoved one of the girls and they all bowling pinned and fell on each other the male,said for them to,go,further away in a walk way..
So they wrre all,gathering stones and throwing them at me and so a child handed me a rock and I threw it ... Like pretty hard and it hit this girl upside her head and she fell and died. And then i hit them all.
I can throw a small object over 500 feet... So it's not like im all gentle...
And so yeah they didn't like that shit all trying to run and hide.., like 25 Islamic girls and like 5 of us American girls and 2 children and 4 Islamic American Men throwing at those girls.... Whom were all adults and some old like,grandma age
So now one of those,guys that had organized these girls was out last night and he didn't like that i was out... With my brother.
So we had words and he kept heading his shit all night. And it was wrong and I was angry.
So most of what i wrote last night was to explain myseld because no one asked how i felt about the burka except one person. And to which he replied to me, "i am an American, now, so i want to be with an American woman, that is why i am here"
Like dude has common sense. Like how is he gonna be all you can't be American when I came here?
So you remember how i said I did things in Iraq and Afghanistan from here? I helped those people to come here under refugee status. From Iraq.
Unfortunately just like Americans some have brains and some don't. Some appreciate what has been done for them and some don't. Some understand America is free and some prefer to be back in Iraq or at least under the rules Iraq allows under the lies of Islamic Qur'an.
Just like Americans find words in the Bible to twist into the way they want to so they can hurt others living the way that they believe they should.
So with Jeremiah, some of the Iraqis made into my life. And so that is the way that is.
Words about the ears is that they were or are ISIS. Well that is fine,but no one is going to throw rocks at me for what i wear. ISIS or not.
That got ruled out in the 1960s and 1970s in America when women began to burn their bras.
So. Iraq, Islam, Middle East, Muslims. Yall are beyind the times of the West.
Now ISIS was created because it was tired of government wars jist fighting and kilking innocent and good people while big fat rats were sitting around stealing the cheese, so they made their own regime and troops to not kill innocent people but to kill people that were bad. Domestic abuse, beating children, (Not rape as their culture is different), murdering children and old grandparents, not following the Qur'an, including stoning women.
But under refugee status, they're not allowed to behave in such a frivolous manner.
Some are American Citizens and do work for the United States military. And other government jobs. Just like any American citizen is allowed to do. They have their own businesses and can work construction or fast food just the same.
Regardless if they were ISIS or Al-Qaeda or Islamic or whatever. Obviously the American Government, under Barack Obama, felt they were safe enough to come here.
The particular sect I assisted to relocate was from a village that was constantly bombed by a (then unknown but now known) private American company.
It was not the US Military as it was disguised to look nor was it any other country.
So a particular boy had his entire family killed one by one and only he was left. Abu.
And so after i killed The Michael Jackson impersonator that had HIV AIDS and was a pervert to children and i caught him touching my daughter and the president pardoned me for life, he asked if there was anything I could ask him for help with and i said, yes. Abu and his family.
And so while I rarely see them, they live here all over New Mexico, blending in with Mexicans with their tan colored skin and their foreign accents. And i see them all the time. Without even knowing.
Rarely i would see an old thin man with a turban, a burgundy one.... Around the corner from my house at a small house that's been torn down.
I would see an old Uncle in restaurant. I saw him last week. Usually he eats alone but a few occasions i saw him part of a group. And the girls that i see all dress American or even slightly Mexican.
So yesterday's post was not to say they were unwelcome in our Country but just to say a few have not changed in 10 years and they are not welcome for their evil ways and last night the man that had arranged my stoning for wearing a sun dress without a bra, was arranged to be removed from our country.
As he cannot treat me/anyone with respect and the attempted stoning was recorded by many people and evidence exists that he has betrayed hos refugee status and his new land of America.
Abu had asked him to quit following me but he continued. Thus he was stalking me. So there were legal reasons for his removal.
So most definitely I don't want people to feel they are not welcome here or cannot practice their religion or live freely here. But their are laws here and in the world that are highly suggested to be followed otherwise a reprimand will be issued
And now Obama is talking shit about going after Abu and I will, of course, have to impolitely whip Obama's ass. Like how he disrespects his wife whom actually made his black ass who he is. I watched the movie, how he met her cause he needed a tutor.
So lets not all be stupid here. Follow your refugee paperwork and follow the rules and regulations and things are not under Obama now. So Some y'all need to get woke because Obama is done. Whether he desires to be or I do, he will be done of this situations and things will be changing.
Cause I'm Done with this shit.
I'm not going to have yo worry about someone running me off the road for my clothes or my mouth when it was Abu whom asked for the freedom of his friends and family to arrive in this country along with him when i asked for him to come with his family.
So, in truth. Y'all would all be dead in Iraq had i not asked.
Don't respect that, I don't give a shit, because that only means i will not have to respect you.
You can pass a citizenship test but that DOESNT mean you're a practicing citizen. It just means you passed a test. Just like being baptized and going to church doesn't get you into Heaven.
Sorry it has to be said
I know many people do enjoy living here. And that is your right.
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spidyboyholland · 6 years ago
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The Boy Next Door-Tom Holland(chapter 7-sing me to sleep)
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CHAPTER 1/CHAPTER 2/CHAPTER 3/CHAPTER 4/CHAPTER 5/CHAPTER 6/CHAPTER 7
pairing: tom holland x female reader
summary: you find out things about tom, now its time to talk to him about it, will he be honest?
warnings: swearing, sexual content, and possibly drugs/alcohol
You didnʻt want to believe all the stuff Harrison said, but it isnʻt like Tom was giving you a lot to believe otherwise. You knew you had to talk to Tom about it later today, which you were dreading.
It broke your heart to think that all the time you spent with him was just some game to him. Moving was hard enough, then the one good thing you had here was being ripped away. Well, one of the two good things you had here. Yes, Tom was drifting out of the picture, but you still had Haz.
The first thing that came into your mind after you talked to Harrison was that he could be lying. You found yourself trying to find excuses for Tom, none that could be logically right. A stupid idea that came into your head was that Harrison was just jealous, but he couldnʻt be, he didnʻt like you like that. It wasnʻt like that with him.
The last two classes of the day seemed to go by pretty quickly, and you got an A on your astronomy test so you felt pretty acomplished. But still dreading talking to Tom.
Tom was planning on driving you home so you planned on talking to him then. The plan was simple, ask him if he was using you, and hope for the truth. The only problem was, you didnʻt know what the truth was.
As you were walking down the halls you just kept re-running all the different scenarioʻs that could go down when you talk to Tom. Not even paying attention, you smash hard into someone and fall to the ground.
“I am so sorry!” You say as you gather your books from the ground
The person you ran into you hands you the other book you dropped and you looked up to see a really handsome boy with blonde hair and brown eyes, wearing the same varsity jacket that Noah wears. You recognize him as someone who hangs around Noah sometimes.
“Donʻt worry about it.” He says as he helps you up. “Im Hunter by the way.”
“Y/n.” you say as you shake his hand
“Iʻve seen you around. With Tom and all...”
“Yea... we are friends.” You say reluctantly
“Cool... cool... Tom is cool I mean. I hang out with him sometimes when he comes over to Noahʻs.”
“Yea heʻs uh... cool.”
“Okay well my ride is here so I gotta go, but it was a pleasure meeting you y/n!” Hunter says as he walks away smiling
“Bye!” You call out after heʻs turned around.
You walk out the doors to see Tom waiting in his car for you in the parking lot.
Here goes nothing.
“Hey Tom.” You say as you get in his car
“Hey! How was your day? I didnʻt see you like at all today” He says as he starts the car and starts to back out of his parking spot
“Yea uh... It was good.”
You were trying your best to say something, anything. You couldnʻt bring yourself to ask him. It felt like an awful ball of anxiety was pilled up in your chest, wanting to get out, but unable to.
His warm hand was holding yours as he drove. A part of you didnʻt want to say anything. A part of you wouldnʻt mind being used by Tom. But that part of you was a dumb naive girl.
He finally pulled up to your house. It was now or never.
“See you later tonight love?” Tom sweetly asked with a glimmer in his eyes
“Actually Tom we need to talk.” You could feel your heart start beating out of your chest.
“Sure darling. Whatʻs up?” He says as he puts the car in park
“Are you using me?” You blurt out. You didnʻt know how to slowly ease into it so you just went full on questioning.
“What?” He looked surprised and taken aback by what you had just said, though surely you were not the first girl accusing him of this
“Like... are you using me to get back with Laila or something? And be honest. I donʻt care if you say yes but I donʻt want you to lie.”
Tom took a second to breathe, then he answered
“Do you want me to say yes? Yes Y/N I am using you? Is that what you want to hear?” Tom asked seeming to get angry
“What the fuck no! Of course I donʻt want you to tell me that but I also donʻt want you to be a fucking liar. So are you? Are you using me?!”
“No! I... well... maybe in the start I was. When I first met you. But can you blame me? I gorgeous girl moves next door, as I was in the midst of a breakup? At the party I had the intentions of just hooking up. But then, as the night went on, I started changing my mind. You probably donʻt remember a lot from that night but I remember it all. Every single cute fucking thing you said and did. The drunken but deep talks we had that night. I had more fun with you in an hour than I had with Laila all year. “
“You told me that you and Laila had been done for months... you lied.”
“Im so sorry y/n. I didnʻt mean to. We had been officially done for months, but we had been hooking up on and off”
“So is this what that is? Another hookup attempt?” You say with some tears welling in your eyes
“Y/N I want you. But I donʻt just want to hook up and then go. In fact I would be fine if we didnʻt do anything ever, but talk. Because I canʻt get enough of you love. You are extraordinary. You are so funny without even trying. Talking to you is so easy even though I get a million butterflies every time I see you. I fucked up when I first met you. But I didnʻt know you. But I want to know you. I want to know what youʻre favorite movie is. Hell, I even want to know what youʻre favorite playlist is. I want to know everything about you and more. I have never felt this way about any girl ever. “
You were speechless. You didnʻt know how to respond to that. So you didʻnt. You just kissed him.
The kiss was soft but filled with released tension. That kiss felt like a breath of relief. Tom slowly pulled away and rested his forehead on yours.
“Listen y/n, I used to be a shitty guy. But I want to be better. Im going to be better.” He said in a whisper in your ear
You kissed him again on the cheek.
“Want to come inside for bit?” You asked
“Iʻd love to” He said smiling as he followed you into the house
Luckily your Mom was still at work so you and Tom had the house to yourself.
You led Tom upstairs into your room and he smiled.
“The last time I was in your room, you were black out drunk” He laughed
“Yea yea, be quiet” You said as you threw your backpack on the ground “Wanna watch a movie?” You asked while taking your laptop off your night stand
“Yea lets do it” Tom said as he plopped down on your bed next to you
After 15 minutes of going back and forth with Tom you finally convinced him to watch American Horror Story, one of your favorite shows.
“Y/N if I die of a heart attack just know it was totally your fault!” He laughed as he put his muscular arm around you
“Oh shut up ya big baby”
You and Tom were only two episodes in when you started getting sleepy. It was hard not to fall asleep. You were laying on Tomʻs chest and his soft breathing was causing his chest to slowly rise and fall, which was extremely calming. Not to mention he was extremely warm.
“Love?” You heard Tom softly whisper in your ear as he pulled your hair behind your ear
“Mhm?” You asked with you eyes still closed
“You are falling asleep.” He said as he stroked your hair
“No, no... Im... Im awake...”You said still drifting in and out of sleep
Tom gently flipped you over so that you were facing him and placed a soft kiss on your lips, which woke you up. You kissed him back, a little faster and rougher this time. Tom placed one hand on your head and one on your back as you continued to kiss him. Tom has perfected the art of kissing. He was so perfectly gentle when he needed to be, but this was not one of those times. This time, he used his rougher side to pull you closer into him, all at the same time keeping in perfect sync with your lips.
It seemed like the perfect moment. Tom holding you so close. Time was melting away. The minutes were quickly reduced to seconds, but all you wanted was to stay exactly how you were.
You pulled away from the kiss to lay on Toms chest again. His hands ran through your hair after putting one more kiss on your forehead before you drifted asleep.
You woke up later with Tom gone, and it was dark now. A suddle smile came to your face as you remembered what you fell asleep too. Almost seeming like a dream now. You check your phone to see 3 missed texts. You read the first one from Tom,
“I had homework and stuff to do at home but sleep well my angel <3”
Tom wasnʻt perfect, but you trusted him, and he made you feel safe, but most importantly, happy.
You looked back down at your phone to see 2 missed texts from Harrison saying,
“How did it go with Tom??” “Y/N?”
A part of you felt guilty for staying with Tom, going completely against Harrisons warnings about him. But you felt even worse for thinking that Harrison lied just because he was jealous. Tom admitted that what Harrison said was true, he did use girls in the past, but he said he wouldnʻt anymore, which was enough for you. You felt like you had betrayed Harrison by staying with Tom. You texted Harrison back saying,
“Hey can you come over?”
He almost immediately responded, texting back,
“On my way.”
While you were waiting for Harrison to come over you changed from your school clothes to shorts and a hoodie. You were thinking about taking a shower but the doorbell rang in short minutes after you had texted him.
You ran downstairs to open the door and sure enough, Harrison was there.
“Hey, come in” You said gesturing him in
“Are you okay? What happened with Tom?”
You sat Harrison down on the couch, still feeling bad about having to tell him that you didnʻt break things off.
“I talked to Tom in the car on the way home...”
“And? What did he say? Was he upset?” Harrison asked eagerly
“Well, I asked him if he was using me, and he said in the start he was, but not anymore. And I know, I know this sounds bad Harrison but I couldnʻt just say no after all the things he said to me. It didnʻt sound like some bullshit he made up on the spot. It sounded real, and genuine. And Harrison he is your best friend, so you know he is a good guy deep down.”
Harrison took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. He was almost impossible to read.
“I just... I donʻt want you getting hurt...” He said looking out the window
“I know Harrison. I wonʻt. You donʻt have to worry. “ You say as you lean into hug him.
He wraps his muscular arms around you. He is warm too, just like Tom. You can smell his cologne, which smells a bit stronger than Toms, but not in a bad way. The hug lingers for a second before Harrison pulls away.
Harrison looks at you with mixed signals in his eyes. You canʻt tell if its the look of frustration, pain, or lust.
authors note: I hope you guys liked this one, still just getting back into writing after my long break so it isnʻt perfect, but I am going to continue this series and I might also start a new one that is based on peter parker instead of tom holland! Let me know if you guys would like that :) thanks <3
taglist- @casualprincess77​ @mysticaleggshoagieopera​
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negasonicimagines · 6 years ago
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If You Love Someone
THE BITCH IS BACK!!! 
Hey guys, I’m so sorry that I haven’t posted a new imagine in so, so long! Hopefully this makes up for it! I’ll try to get more requests out, soon, I promise!
As you can see, the title is this song by The Veronicas. 
The request I wrote this from is from @wafflesnunicorns and it goes as follows:  “What up dude! long time no ask!! But um do u think u can write a fic where theyve been dating but Eli hasnt quite been able to express her feelings to yn. then when yn is called on a mission Eli cant stop thinkin about her n seein her n SMELLIN her(weird right?)when yn FINALLY gets back Eli just wordlessly bearhugs, sniffs herthen says," you smellgood I love you" Or something awkward and abrupt like that. N yn is blushing and is all like "thanks...I guess..."Im excited to read it!love you!😄! ❤️”
I think I can. You tell me. Thanks so much for the request, sweetheart! 
Ellie hadn’t been dating you for that long, but she was head over heels. It’s hard, though, to express that. She only really feels comfortable expressing anger, annoyance. Rolling her eyes at your sweet words but squeezing your hand tighter, looking down so no one sees her blush. It makes her feel bad to watch your face fall when you think she doesn’t approve, but she tries to make it up to you in little ways, picking pretty wildflowers for you when she sees them and sending you songs that remind her of you.
She comes from photography club to your shared dorm, so the two of you can walk to dinner together, and she finds you packing a bag.
“Where are you going?” It comes out more rude than it should, her brain stopping her from sounding too attached, too clingy, too in love.
“Mission!” You reply cheerily. “Undercover. Gotta join the Brotherhood and see what their next move is.”
“The Brotherhood?!” Ellie squeaks, there was no hiding her worry with that one.
“Yeah, that’s what I said, isn’t it?” you tease her, unsure of the emotion you’re seeing in her reaction.
“It is,” Ellie admits. “Uh, how long?”
“I don’t know. Couple weeks, maybe a month, maybe longer. Depends on how long it takes to earn their trust and find out their next step or two,” you explain, looking too okay with this. Did you not feel the same connection to Ellie, the same need to be around her?
Ellie’s breath halts. A month without you? Possibly longer?
“That’s a while.”
“I guess,” you reply, and the expression that flickers across your face helps her realize what’s going on.
She wishes her mouth would move, to tell you she’ll miss you. That she loves you, too. To tell you that she’s sorry that you don’t know those things for sure.
“We’re gonna be late for dinner,” she instead tells you.
“It’s that time already?” You ask, and she nods curtly.
You walk to dinner together in awkward silence, sitting across from each other while you eat but avoiding eye contact.
On the day you left, you didn’t even look like you. Your hair was styled differently, your makeup (if you wear it) making you appear almost like a stranger. Your clothes were closer in genre to hers, your face darkened in expression to add to the betrayed character you portray.
“I hate you, Charles Xavier!” You shout at the top of your lungs, stomping out of the mansion with bags on your shoulders. Ellie stares out the front door what feels like forever, until a gloved hand she faintly recognizes as Anna’s pulls her further in the house, another student closing the door behind you as you disappear down the driveway, angry swagger still in motion.
I love you. But the words don’t come out.
A few days later, Xavier informs the school of a planned attack from the Brotherhood. After, Ellie slinks over to his chair, moving from shadow to shadow. She’s isolated herself even further, rarely looking up from her phone.
“Our correspondence is limited, Miss Phimister,” Charles tells her before she can even ask. “But Y/N told me to tell you they love you.”
Somehow, that makes it worse. She didn’t say those words to you when she had the opportunity, and now she may never get to. But, hey, at least those would your last words to her?
No! They can’t be. They won’t. Ellie has to tell you.
She trains non-stop over the weeks, for the fight. Just because the school knew of the attack, didn’t meant that it wasn’t still going to happen. The plan was that someone would pretend to knock you out, and they’d take you back. It couldn’t be her, she wouldn’t be able to fake hatred for you.
In the nights, she doesn’t sleep. The two of you had been roommates, and without you in her arms, it’s hard.
Her appetite joins her sleep in the list of things you inadvertently took when you left. All she can think of when she sits in her usual lunch spot is how you’re not there with her, making some shitpost-esque joke she’d pretend she didn’t find absolutely hilarious. Not nagging her about her grade in American Lit, not begging her to play a card game, not there. You might never be there again. And she’ll never have admitted that she loves you more than she’s loved anyone else.
She hasn’t felt this alone since… Since… Since before she knew you.
She’s sitting at the desk in you two’s room, unable to focus on her Biology homework when the alarm goes off. For once, she’s excited at the possibility of an attack on the house.
That’s exactly what it is. Kids in dark clothes like her own storm the place, and she and her classmates clash against them. Pent-up emotion sweeps into her fighting, making her a brutal force.
Someone touches at her shoulder, and she turns, ready to deliver the next blow. It’s you. Her fist pauses just before connecting with your nose.
You hadn’t even flinched. You take her fist in your hands and kiss it gently. She allows herself to fall into you, and you stiffen before sighing, wrapping your arms around her. The fight’s over. The loneliness is over.
The two of you eventually enter the school, oodles of students crowding around you. They’re welcoming you, worried about your safety, things they never did before. You clutch Ellie’s hand tightly, uttering an “I’m fine, thanks,” before taking her to the room you two share.
“That was...A lot,” Ellie says, unsure of what else to say.
“Yeah. I’m gonna go shower,” you reply, seeming a little too perky.
“Wait!” she blurts, grabbing your arm. You jolt, not disguising the flash of pain fast enough.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to grab so hard.” Ellie’s eyes are wide with guilt and emotion, but you shake your head, getting a makeup wipe from the dresser and wiping off your arm. 
A bruise. Ellie looks from it to your face. Repeatedly. It takes a lot for her not to turn to a ball of seething rage, not that she’d give that away.
“Training for the Brotherhood is a little different than training for the X-Men. They don’t play quite as nice.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What? You didn’t do anything wrong,” you laugh it off, and she scowls.
“I’m not sorry for that, even if I do wanna pummel whoever did that. I’m- I’m sorry I haven’t said it yet.”
“It?”
“Yeah, it.”
There’s a flicker of hope in your eyes, but you fake confusion. You’re expecting to be let down, Ellie knows. You’re expecting what she’s made you expect. But, if there’s anything Ellie Phimister is good at, it’s defying expectations. She steps closer to you, wrapping her arms around your waist and resting her head on your chest, listening to your heart. Thump, thump, thump, thump, in time with the pounding sound she hears in her head in the seconds before she speaks:
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” you reply softly, and she sighs at the same volume.
“You smell nice,” she comments quietly.
“I smell like sweat and dirt and like I got my ass kicked,” you argue with a snicker.
“You also smell like you,” she says almost silently, and you blush, speechless. She pulls away, reading your expression. “That was dumb, wasn’t it? I’m not good at this like you are, Y/N. Don’t think I ever will be.”
“You’re definitely good,” you respond in a squeaky, embarrassed tone. It didn’t take much, especially from the pint-sized girl in front of you, to fluster you. She takes your hand, holding it before raising it and pressing hers flat against it. The two of you inspect them together, you noting the similarities, her noting the differences, mentally. 
As you continue to do so, you’re distracted. The attention being away from her lips gives Ellie the courage to use them, getting on her toes to kiss your cheek. You turn a deep shade of red, and she decides it’s even more worth it to show her affection.
“I love you,” she hesitantly says again, and you beam.
Oh, yeah. So worth it.
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tumblunni · 6 years ago
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Gradually working my way thru learning about the yokai watch 3 villains, lol. Cant manage to restrain myself from taking just a teeny lil peek at spoilers! I blame that person drawing all the super awesome redemprion headcanon comicry with the cute oc YOU HAVE CURSED ME WITH YOUR GREATNESS
Ok so apparantly mafia ghost dude fuckin loves space and then GOT EXILED TO SPACE FOR 555 YEARS?? His only fuckin crime at the time was believing in ufos and everyone else was like 'nah bro' LIKE CMON UR LITERALLY GODDAMN GHOSTS BUT ALIENS IS TOO ABSURD FOR YOU??? So somehow this dude ended up making it to space and getting trapped on a meteor completely alone for like a bazillion years and holy shit no wonder he turned evil. Like what sort of ironic karma bullshit is it to be like 'i heard u like this thing how about we lock you up there forever unable to move or scream'.
Also seriously AGENT X WAITED 555 YEARS TO SET HIM FREE AND MAKE HIS DREAMS COME TRUE!!! He says he has no regrets! Aaaaa man i really think this whole plot would be even more emotional if they were a couple. Im just getting that vibe!! Im sorry i cant help it u give me two weird ghost dads in stylish suits and a I'LL WAIT FOR YOU FOREVER plot and a MY ONLY DREAM IS SEEING YOUR DREAM COME TRUE and just seriously man look at that quality ship angst. WHY NO HAPPY ENDING THO
And i'm just thinking now about how emotional their reunion probably was. Like i'm imagining Agent X has a hard time being honest about his feelings cos yknow ghoulfather is the boss of the organization and so far out of his league and such. (And he totally doesnt realize that he's his super valued second in command) So when ghoulfather comes back he's probably wrestling with his gut instinct to run forward and embrace him, because Seriously He Is Your Superior It Will Never Happen, Why Am I Like This. So he's just trying to play it all cool and be like "welcome boss i was totally confident that our plan would work and not incredibly depressed for the last few centuries umm here's your coat" And that thing where the character is crying but they dont notice until they put their hand to their face!! That! That scene!! Have one of those in there, yes! And then possibly mid sentence ghoulfather cuts him off and hugs him, and theyre both just finally honest about how much they missed each other. Aaaand then probably five seconds later theyre like *ahem* *professional voice* "well better get back to work"
Also the game probably wouldnt go into any detail with stuff like muscular atrophy or readjusting to earth gravity or the sheer level of phobia that must be in this man's brain from the constant isolation and how hard it must be to adjust back to talking to people when all he's had for so long is his imagination. But fics can explore all that recovery progress! This is our power, to heal the sad villains with our words!
I was just randonly thinking a sweet date scene for them early on in this plot could be Agent X and Ghoulfather going to a random italian restaurant NOT because its a date totally, but just because its been so long since he's been on earth and its something that could maybe cheer him up. But then they just end up complaining together about how modern restaurants in america are so often not run by italian people and have all this weird american versions of stuff, so it ended up not being very memorable after all. Also crappy wheelchair access! (Cos he'd still be recovering at this time) So yeah it ends up being weirdly fun and romantic for two hours of getting pissed off at terrible service. Getting pissed off at terrible service... Together~!
Also probably eight days later Ageny X suddenly realizes "holy shit taking my boss out to a candlelit restaurant just the two of us is MAYBE slightly flirty". I feel like he's a bit of a disaster at expressing his feelings and only ever manages to make the first move when its accidental. But also has like a natural charisma of accidental flirting which means half the damn mafia has a crush on him, lol. Oh also i was considering like a love triangle thing with rongo? But not any of the stereotypical awful love triangle fighty plots. Just rongo having a crush in agent x and sadly agent x was already in love with ghoulfather and doesnt recipricate. But theyre still best friends even though agent x turned him down, and now rongo is the only one who knows about agent x's crush on ghoulfather and he tries to play ultimate wingman between the two. Like 'i want you to be happy even if it isnt with me!!' So he'd probably be the most pissed off if ghoulfather ever betrayed agent x's trust, i feel like agent x would just blame himself for it and rongo would stand up for him like DAMN DUDE DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HE MISSED YOU WHEN YOU WERE GONE, YOU RIGHT DENSE BASTARD? That sort of conflict between them, not the more cliche conflict of all three people in a love triangle just being all jealous and secretive and dumb.
Oh also unrelatedly i think Slackerjack and Rongo would be friends? Cos the only time ive seen that slackerjack has any dialogue about him he calls him "a good boy who's quite loud but means well". I can imagine Slackerjack being like that nice grandpa who comes to all of 'little rongo''s music recitals, lol. Or like that meme of 'momma needs her tunes' *death metal blares*. He has all of rongo's cds! Ok actually that mental image is super adorable of this big rockstar dude being like 'omg grampa look im here omg i have to make you proud'. I just feel like rongo is 100% adorable at all times and also has positive relationships with every one of his coworkers like the ray of sunshine that he is. He probably memorizes the names of every single minor minion and gives them all birthday cards. I love this big ol dork.
Anyway this has been Bunni Rambling About Potentially Redeemable Villains They Know Very Little About But Are Very Eager To Meet And Fandomize Over
They all just so good, u guys
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soldierwinterthe · 7 years ago
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Summary: Y/n, working for the CIA and with Everett Ross, meets his friend T'Challa, who became the king of Wakanda. When Ross is injured, T'Challa decides to treat him in his kingdom, and to bring Y/n with him. There she will find out that her old sleeping friend has awakened.
Warnings: mentions of the fight, people who kick asses
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, T'Challa x Reader (friendship)
Characters: Shuri, Everett Ross, Ulysses Klaue
A/N: I wrote this time ago. The day after seeing Black Panther, to be honest; however, I waited, and now I have finished and published for the #sanasfluffinesschallenge , by @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester (thanks for letting me participate!) The Prompt is: “I hate you.” “Why? I’m lovely.”
After permanently abandoning the SHIELD, and having fought in the Civil War between Captain America and Iron Man because of the Sokovia Accords, Y/n has wandered around America, looking for some stability, a normal life.
But it lasted less than a month in Kansas; calm and normal life is not for her. That's why she accepted the offer of Everett Ross, an American CIA agent; he needed... advice, on the changing world, about strange creatures with strange powers that threatened the people of the United States of America.
Y/n knew she couldn't trust the CIA; SHIELD had been a disappointment, and the others were not different. A few missions later, Agent Ross and Y/n left for North Korea; their mission is to do business with Ulysses Klaue, the one who stole the vibranium from Wakanda.
Ross would buy the vibranium as evidence of Klaue's crime, and then they would arrest him. Y/n, however, didn't imagine meeting her old friend: T'Challa.
Even if she tries to hide between the clandestine casino games where she and Ross are waiting for Klaue, T'Challa can see her, and walks calmly toward her. Y/n has always been fascinated by the kingdom of Wakanda, and at T'Challa. He has that calm – apparent – that not everyone can have. 
"Y/n, I'm very happy to see you again. I didn't think you worked for the CIA."
Y/n turns to look at T'Challa, and after a moment of utmost seriousness, the two guys begin to laugh, and they hug each other.
"T'Challa, it's been a while since I heard you. And no, I don't work for the CIA, not really. I'm a kind of consultant.”
"I hope your advice doesn't include information on Wakanda." says T'Challa, returning completely serious. Y/n looks around to check her 'colleague' and the perimeter, then she moves her gaze back to her friend. 
"Absolutely not. You know I would never tell anyone the truth about your Kingdom, I owe you. For what you did for me, and for what you did for..."
"Yes, I know. I know you would never betray me. Are you here for Klaue?"
During their conversation, the two guys try not to attract attention, stopping from time to time near the roulette tables, or playing poker; Y/n notices a girl sitting near the bar looking around, to always shift her gaze on T'Challa. Probably she's with T'Challa, thinks Y/n.
"I don't know, but Ross is definitely here for Klaue. He wants to arrest him at all costs."
"He's mine. My father spent half of his life trying to catch him, to avenge the deaths he caused in Wakanda. He has to pay for the harm he has done."
"I know T'Challa."
Y/n puts a hand on her friend's shoulder to try to calm him down; she knows very well the story of Wakanda, and how years ago Ulysses Klaue had stolen the vibranium, and had killed some people of the Wakanda people. When T'Challa's father died, his son suffered a lot, and he still suffers. It is not easy to lose a parent.
"I think you need to talk to Ross; you could convince him to leave Klaue to me. Please, Y/n."
"All right, T'Challa. I'll see what I can do."
Everett Ross is an idiot. Y/n has always thought about it, and she was right. 
When she asked the agent to help T'Challa, he decided not to; at least, not completely. He offered T'Challa only a quick interrogation with the man, after which Klaue would go into the hands of the CIA.
Things didn't go very well.
Ulysses Klaue in chains, Ross and T'Challa arguing about what to do, and someone, thanks to a bomb, managed to evade the prisoner.
The men who helped Klaue were armed, and Ross was hurt, to protect the girl who kept watching T'Challa at the casino; as Y/n had imagined her, and also another woman – belonging to the Wakanda guards – were with the Wakanda's King to help him.
The injury of Ross is very serious, and so T'Challa decided to take the CIA agent to Wakanda, so that he could be cured. In order not to leave him alone, Y/n went with them. Shearing Ross into Wakanda's medical room, she meets Shuri, sister of T'Challa.
The last time Y/n had been in the kingdom, she had made friends with Shuri, finding out she's a fantastic girl, and very smart to be so young.
"Oh yay! Another white boy for me to fix!"
Y/n looks up at Shuri, and then she looks at T'Challa confusedly.
"Wait, it means that he..."
"Who, your friend? It was a joke to treat him." says Shuri, beginning to analyze Ross and the severity of his injury.
Y/n and T'Challa move away from the medical room, leaving the space to work for Shuri. She turns around to look at her friend, crossing her arms to the chest. 
"Why didn't you tell me T'Challa?" 
"I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you more calmly, certainly not during a shootout."
Opening her mouth to say something, Y/n closes it thinking that T'Challa is right.
But now that he is awake, Y/n does nothing but think of wanting to see him.
"Take me to him."
T'Challa sighs, thinking about what to say exactly; he didn't say about the awakening of Y/n's friend because he really didn't want to create false hopes.
Shuri's technology seems to have worked, and even though his sister is never wrong, T'Challa wants to make sure the boy is no longer a danger.
But now that Y/n knows of his awakening, T'Challa will not be able to stop her from wanting to meet him.
"Y/n, I'll take you to him, but you have to be patient. Very strange things are happening in Wakanda. And I need help; your help. When things have calmed down, you can meet him."
Y/n looks at T'Challa in the eye, and observes how Shuri is curing Ross; Klaue almost killed him, and now more than ever, he is a danger to both Wakanda and America.
They must stop him.
“I hate you.”
T'Challa smiles, and he’s so contagious as he does it, that even I can’t succumb to a giggle.
"Why? I'm lovely."
I sigh; it's obvious that I want to see Bucky. I miss him so much. But T'Challa is in trouble, and if I could wait all this time, a few more days will not make a difference.
"All right, I'll help you. Again."
The relationships between Bucky Barnes and Y/n have always been very complicated. They both know what they feel for each other, but Bucky has always decided to stay away, because of his... problem.
Losing control and killing people was not really his big dream. When, during the conflict between Steve and Tony, the Winter Soldier woke up, it was the last straw: after that moment, Bucky decided not to be found until he found a cure for his curse.
And that's why Y/n had decided to ask T'Challa for help; she knew about the advanced technologies Wakanda has, and probably they would find a way to heal Bucky.
Y/n never imagined that Shuri would heal the boy so quickly. After peace returned to Wakanda, T'Challa's sister brought Y/n with her to the place where Bucky is recovering.
From the tent positioned near the river, Bucky comes out in all his splendor; Y/n is hidden in the trees, Shuri asked her to wait, to 'check' Bucky.
"You look good, Sergeant Barnes."
"Call me Bucky. Yes, I feel better."
"Ehm, there's someone who wants to see you."
Shuri takes a step back; it's the signal that Y/n can finally come out of her hiding place. She takes a few steps towards the two guys, and when Bucky turns, they both remain breathless.
Bucky and Y/n hadn't seen each other since the boy had hibernated; seeing her there, so close to him, Bucky almost dizzy. For so long he could not, he would not even touch the girl, frightened by what he could do.
To her.
"Hey, you."
"Hey, you."
Y/n approaches the boy, and squeezes his hand in her; she can't understand how good she feels when Bucky's skin touches her.
"Are you okay?"
"I feel... so much better. Even if it's weird not having my metal arm anymore."
"Oh, don't worry about that. I'm working on a whole new one. It will be great."
Both turn to look at Shuri; it would be rude to tell her that, but right now Bucky and Y/n would like to be alone, and watch each other until fainting.
"I have no doubt you will do a great job at Shuri. And thank you, for saving him."
She smiles, and looking into Y/n's eyes, she understands my message; Shuri greets them both and goes away, leaving the two lovers finally alone.
"How are you..?" Y/n doesn't have the time to ask Bucky how he really is, that he shows it to her.
Approaching her, the boy hugs her as much as he can, and lays his lips on hers; it's at this moment that Bucky finally feels free from his curse.
Now, Y/n and Bucky can be together as long as they want, and nothing will divide them, never again.
Forever Tag: @hotwinchester @doro7winchester @iamthenewthor @cirunia @frickin-bats @giftofdreams @ria132love @flirtswithdanger @littlenerdgirl16 @nanie5 @crownedloki @im-a-fandom-slut @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @superhero-lover101 @disneymarina @ironmanlover24
Revival Tag: @wdwisbae @markusstraya @the-panda-jung @drawtofeel
(If you want to be tagged in my stories, just ask me!)
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rivetdyke · 7 years ago
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All
ADA WONG: Do you have any secrets nobody knows?
totally. sometimes i feel like i come off as an open book but there’s a lot ppl don’t know about me that i’d rather keep to myself anyway
ALBERT WESKER: How far would you go to achieve your dreams?been contemplating going into debt from college just so i can become a concept artist or a character designer, but that’s pretty much the furthest i’d go?? i’d do anything for my art as long as im not hurting other people. not a very vengeful personALEXIA ASHFORD: How smart are you? What's your IQ?idk, IQ stuff isn’t really that important to me. everyones smart in different waysALEX WESKER: What scares you the most?losing all or most of my friends (kind of what made breaking away from austin really hard) but also goddamn ALIENS and also unseen creatures. i guess that could also be apart of my alien fear because when i was little i had a fear of aliens that could shape shift and turn invisible, it got to the point where i would get so paranoid that i couldn’t be in the living room by myself
ALFRED ASHFORD: Do you have any siblings?yes! most of you guys already know, but i have a sister and a brother, they’re almost a year younger than me (we kind of look like triplets its funny) and they’re twins. unfortunately i also have an older half brotherANNETTE BIRKIN: How loyal are you?im very loyalARK THOMPSON: Would you ever want to be a detective?i think it would be very interesting! i like detective shows a lot. akfjkds im also pretty good at clue ;)ASHLEY GRAHAM: Are you related to anybody famous?i don’t really think so! i know my parents have met famous people in passing but i dont think we’re actually related to anyBILLY COEN: Ever committed a crime?
i accidentally vandalized one of my neighbor’s houses once. they weren’t very nice people thoughBRAD VICKERS: How do you respond to a crisis situation? Do you panic?it depends on what the crisis situation is i think!BRUCE MCGIVERN: Do you have an accent? If so, what type?im just a plain ol americanCARLA RADAMES: If you could be anyone, who would you want to be?i’d want to be myself! i know this will sound cheesy but getting to learn to grow and experience my own life is wonderful, even if i gotta live with mental illness and trauma. i like living as myself, and i don’t want to be anyone elseCARLOS OLIVEIRA: Do you wear your heart on your sleeve?HFHDKhfdkkfs... yeah probably but not entirely. i do react in huge ways, but not so much externally as i do internally, which is what people mostly see online. honestly that’s a question to ask one of my close irl friends jfjdsCHRIS REDFIELD: Are you fighting for anything?yep!! :) we all kno what it is CLAIRE REDFIELD: Are you a workaholic?claire... yeah but only if my add/adhd latches onto it, or if im just super passionate about the project in general. i think the greatest examples of this is when im sitting in a chair 6 hours straight just drawing or if im cleaning for over half the day. you wont catch me doing that with homework unless im panickingCHIEF IRONS: Any creepy quirks?i dont really know what this meansDAVID KING: Are you good at handy-work?i’d like to think so! i like lifting things for people, opening things that are hard to open, i like to clean, weeding out the yard/garden, i mean im also a pretty good painter imo.. i like being a handy lesbianDEREK C SIMMONS: Any current obsessions?been hyperfixating on the village by m night shyamalan for like uuhhh 2 weeks now??EXCELLA GIONNE: How fashionable are you?hfhfslfkjldfgd im EXTREMELY tacky, i mostly just match colors instead of materials. im not very fashionable but i wish to be in the future!! i have a pinterest board dedicated to my personal butch outfit inspirationFONG LING: Do you like attention from the opposite/same sex?hello ladies.....HELENA HARPER: How cynical are you?i don’t think i am in the least bit, caring about people is my gameJAKE MULLER: Would you sell your grandmother for fifty million dollars?no :(JAMES MARCUS: What's your favourite animal/insect?OWLS AND PENGUINS JESSICA SHERAWAT: Ever used charm to get what you want?jlfjksdfs im not proud to admit this but yes but not in an attractive way, more like in an endearing wayJILL VALENTINE: How headstrong are you?i can be a pretty stubborn person if i dont want to do something or if i dont agree, but i try not to let that get in the way of things?JIM CHAPMAN: Would you consider yourself sassy?sometimes but it’s not a defining traitJOSEPH FROST: Favourite breed of dog?i REALLY love german sherpards they look so adorable and i love huskies too! love those big babies... funny thing is though is that im so afraid of big dogs that being around them can be really hard even though i love them... also goldens are adorableKEVIN RYMAN: Favourite type of alcohol?all types suckLEON S KENNEDY: Do you spend a lot of time on your appearance?not really lol like i said earlier all i try to do is match colors at least more than i do with materialsLISA TREVOR: Any physical quirks?i can make some REALLY weird faces. i have this one face that makes berto lose his mind it’s greatLUIS SERA: Are you a player?nopeMOIRA BURTON: How often/much do you swear?wayyyyyy too often LMAO whenever i swear on here and censor it that’s just me trying to tone it down while also getting the point across because sometimes i just dont like sounding too aggressive and i get worried about freaking people outMORPHEUS D DUVALL: How far would you go to be beautiful?man i dont really care at all anymore, i just want to get buff and have a haircut im satisfied withNICOLAI ZINOVEIF: Ever betray anybody?only with tiny funny things, but never on a large, serious scale. i know where my loyalties and priorities lieOSMUND SADDLER: If you could; would you want to lead a cult?lesbian cult lesbian cult lesbian cult lesbian cult lesbian cultPARKER LUCIANI: What nationality are you?im a white americanPIERS NIVANS: Would you sacrifice yourself for somebody else?definitelyRICHARD AIKEN: Do you like reptiles? Do you have a favourite?i love them! but i dont know too much about them so i dont really have a clear fave. i DO love snakes thoughSHERRY BIRKIN: How dysfunctional is your family?pretty dysfunctional lmao... my siblings went to go talk to the judge last week because my dad was trying to alter my parents divorce agreement. i wasn’t allowed to be there because i turned 18 recently, and they’re still 17. one of the dumbest things about my dad trying to do this is the fact that even if he got the agreement altered, it wouldn’t have mattered because by the time it would be implemented my siblings would already be 18 as well. i feel like my dad was just trying to do this to be vindictive towards my mom in some way. also i hate my older brotherSHEVA ALOMAR: Any tattoos?i have this
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but they’re pointing more outward! sorry for the large image. i plan on getting more in the futureSTEVE BURNSIDE: Ever been in love?yeah. i feel like i might be again but im not really sureVINCENT GOLDMAN: What's the most evil thing you'd do?i don’t know i dont like doing evil things :( probably the most evil thing would be beating up bigoted assholes and bullshit men but i dont count that as evil, any sensible person would do the sameWILLIAM BIRKIN: Do you like Science? What's your favourite scientific discovery?i LOVE science! i love genetic and biological sciences. last year i became incredibly fascinated with the concept of cloning and the CRISPR-cas9 while i was taking a genetics class
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minniesugakookies · 8 years ago
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Betrayed [Part 4]
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Genre: Angst
Word Count: 3,442
Pairing: Jaebum x Reader
“It’s a small secluded place, soundproof too. No one will what we do in here.”
Masterlist ♥︎
Request ☾
Part 1 ✧ Part 2 ✧ Part 3 ✧ Part 5
A/N: yo i finally had the time to finish this. I worked on this from when i got home from school till now (thats from like 2ish to 8ish w o w) i tried to make it as long as i could (my brain can only think of so much im sorry its not longer) but here yah gooo 
“Thank you Dowoon.” We were now in my bedroom after he had ran all the way here with me on his back. He was pacing around my room, pausing once in a while to look at my condition. He only hummed in response. “He said that he never wanted to do that bet, you know.” I say softly. He stops and glares at me, but mostly at what I said. “What?” He said sharply. I looked up from looking at my hands. “He said-” “Yeah I know what you said, he’s still a fucking asshole. Who kisses a girl against her will?” He came and sat down beside me on the edge of the bed.
I didn’t know what to feel anymore. Jaebum, the man who I thought hated me, the man who I loved tore my heart in half, just kissed me and confessed his feelings for me. It felt like I was dreaming, like I didn’t know what was right or wrong anymore. Dowoon was furiously tapping his foot up and down with his head in his hands. “I can’t just sit here when my best friend just basically got raped by her high school crush.” He stood up and started making his way to door. “Dowoon! He did not rape me, he just kissed me.” I said angrily. 
“Yeah, against your will.” He turned around and pointed at me. I rolled my eyes at his overdramatic ness. I put my hands on his shoulders to try and calm him down. “Dowoon look, I get that you’re mad but just try and calm down a little bit okay?” He looked at me like I had just grown three heads. “What’s gotten into you? You were mad at me two days ago for taking your lunch without asking, but you’re not mad about this?” 
“I’m just, confused.”    
I didn’t go to work the next day. My co-workers kept calling me but I didn’t want to deal with their worrying or scolding right now. They sent me texts, telling me that Jaebum was acting weird and they were asking me what we talked about yesterday when we were alone in the room. I didn’t bother answering those either. Dowoon never called me that day either. What if he does something to Jaebum? I shook my head from the thought. Why should I care?
I sat for a little bit more, thinking about yesterday. Maybe I should go today. I looked at my phone and saw that it was around 10 o’clock, work started at 9:30. I sat and thought about it for a bit. 
Fuck it. 
“I’m here guys! Sorry I’m late I was just.” I pause thinking of a lie. “A little sick.” They all looked at me then at each other but then went work. I went to my area and started putting my things on like I do every time. The short red haired girl came up to me and just stood beside me, not saying anything for a second. 
“Can I help you?” I asked. Everyone said that this girl barely talked to anyone, no one had her number or anything and she was always at work and always on time, here before anyone else was. “Are you pregnant?” She asked suddenly. My eyes widened and I felt like they were going to pop out of their socket. “Excuse me?!” She just nodded then started walking away, back to her own area. Why did she ask me that? What’s her problem? 
Just then the manager ran into the room, getting everyone’s attention immediately. “Everyone may I have your attention! You have the rest of the day off today!” He said loudly and everyone sighed happily. “Why do we have the rest of the day off?” I asked softly. The manager looked at me and gave me a serious look. “Jaebum was hurt badly by one of the younger debuts.” He stated. Everyone gasped and started whispering. “W-who was it?” Another girl asked. The manager sighed again and rubbed the back of his neck. “His name is Yoon Dowoon.” 
I gasped loudly and everyone looked at me. “Y/n is something wrong?” One said. “Wait aren’t you friends with him? I hear you talk on the phone with him sometimes.” Another says. I didn’t care to answer their questions right now. “How, h-how badly is he hurt?” I asked hesitantly. He looked at me then shook his head. “I’m sorry I can’t tell you that, but just know that it was severe enough that he has to be in the hospital. So you can all go home since there is no more work to be done.” He nods his head then walks out leaving everyone in the room stunned. Everyone immediately started talking to each other, trying to guess what happened. 
What did Dowoon do? How bad did he hurt him? All these thoughts I didn’t have the answer too kept flying into my head. Could Dowoon do such a thing? Maybe it was a misunderstanding. Yeah, Dowoon wouldn’t do that to someone. I decided to call him instead of assuming things to make me feel better. Ater about the third ring he picked up and by now I was the only one left in the room, everyone else has left. 
“Hello? Y/n?” He said. His voice was a little shaky and sort of raspy. “Dowoon please tell me you didn’t hurt Jaebum.” I pleaded desperately. He didn’t answer right away, making me twice as nervous as before. “Dowoon please I swear, I told you not to do anything!” I raised my voice as I started pacing around in the small room, something I do when I’m nervous. “Y/n, I’m sorry. I just wasn’t thinking and I was so mad and-” 
“Dowoon I can’t believe you! He didn’t do anything!” I yelled even louder than before, making my voice echo slightly. I was scared, nervous and mad. All I could think about was how we we’re going to get out of this situation and how mad I was at Dowoon. I stopped pacing and swept my open hand through my hair. I hated myself for being worried about Jaebum and how he was holding up. What if Dowoon did something really bad? The manager had said it was severe. “I’m sorry Y/n, how can I make it up to you? Please.” I shook my head, even though he couldn’t see me. “Dowoon can we just leave each other alone for a little bit. Just after all of this ends.” 
I heard him sadly sigh over the phone, giving a small ‘okay’ then ending the call, not even saying goodbye. I put my phone in my back pocket and then sat down in one of the chairs putting my head in my hands, thinking over everything that has happened over the time I had started working here. The 7 boys who had bullied me in high school, I now do their makeup. Jaebum, the man who did hate me had kissed me then the next day my best friend for 5 years had maybe almost killed him. 
I leaned back into my chair and groaned loudly. Maybe I should go visit Jaebum. He might have no visitors, and I don’t know what hospital he’s in. I kept thinking, debating if I should give the effort to look for him or just wait for the news. I got up from the chair and made my way to the door, opening it then walking out. I was met with a dark hallway, only a few lights were on and there were about five people walking around. Man this place clears out quick. I kept walking down the hall and wondered if I should ask one of these people where Jaebum is staying, but I thought that would be suspicious. I just watched as the people rushed by me into other rooms then coming out with papers. I heard music playing in some of the rooms and guessed it was other groups or solo people. 
I made it to the elevator and waited for the signal that I could get on. It finally dinged and I traveled into the small space with my head down and pressed the button for the bottom floor. The doors closed and the elevator jerked downwards giving me a weird feeling in my stomach. I stood there silently as soft elevator played, thinking to myself. I tend to do that a lot now, thinking about how I’m going to fix everything I seemed to mess up. Why I was ever so stupid to believe the things people told me. 
“Excuse me, ma'am?” 
I whipped my head to the side to see a very nice young looking man with light brown hair and tan ish skin. I could tell he was American or Canadian from his eyes and body structure, also how his skin wasn’t as pale. He was decently good looking with blue-ish grey eyes. He was wearing just a simple white t-shirt and jeans with a black toque on. “U-um yes?” He motioned his head towards the door then smiled, showing off his perfectly white straight teeth. I looked towards the door to see that it was open again. “Oh yes, sorry I was just thinking.” He nodded and let me get out first and then followed me out. We were awkwardly walking side by side to the front door until he decided to speak up. “My names Luke.” He outstretched his hand for me to shake it. I shook his hand, smiling and then introducing myself also. “I’m Y/n.” Luke smiled as he retreated his hand back to his side.
“That’s a pretty name.” I looked down so he wouldn’t catch my blushing face as I played with my fingers and thanked him softly. “So, what do you do here?” He asked as he started to continue walking. I looked up and quickened my pace, trying to catch up with him. “Oh I’m a stylist for the group Got7.” He hummed in response but didn’t say anything afterwards about what he did. 
“What do you do?” I looked up at him, waiting for his answer. Boy was he tall. I was guessing he must be at least 6 feet, or it seems like it to me because of my short height. He looked down and smiled, catching my staring I immediately turned my head so I was looking ahead. He chuckled softly. “I’m just a boring old studio manager.” I scoffed. “Studio managers aren’t boring, you have a pretty stressful job. I would say.” He pondered my comment for awhile. “I guess you’re right.” 
We made it too the front doors and I was about to bid goodbye when he stopped me. “Wait, can I have your number? You seem nice and I really want to get to know you.” He got quieter at the end of his sentence, seeming like he was shy. I giggled and nodded, asking for his phone so I could put my number in. 
Once we exchanged numbers, we went our separate ways. I didn’t catch the glance he made my way when I was turning around.                                                              
“Dowoon I said I needed some time to think about everything.” Dowoon had tried calling me and talking to me everyday after the incident. It had been almost a week and he was still trying. Jaebum still wasn’t back from the hospital but there was rumor that he was coming back tomorrow. Since there was nothing to do, we were temporarily moved to Dowoon’s group until jaebum gets better. 
Dowoon still didn’t give up, holding my shoulders do I wouldn’t escape from him. “Y/n please, I miss my best friend.” A hint of desperation was in his voice, his hands tightening their grip on my shoulders. “Dowoon I’m right in front of you, it’s not like I’m dead. I just need time.” I simply stated. I softly moved his arms from my shoulders and walked back to my station as he sadly stared at my back as I walked away. 
Jaebum was finally out of the hospital and he looked like he was just ran over by 12 buses. His hair was tethered and some of the dye has faded. He had some cuts on his face and bruises on his arms. Everyone in the room gasped at his appearance. He slowly trailed into the room and sat down at my chair, his expression appearing to be angry. I guess when your stylist's best friend attacks you right after you kissed them, I would be mad too.
 He didn’t acknowledge me at all. He just stared into the mirror, wincing at his appearance. “Jae-Jaebum are you alright?” I asked hesitantly just as I was picking up the foundation to cover up his scars. He didn’t answer. Only closing his eyes and loudly sighing. I softly started to apply the foundation without his permission anyway, presuming he just wanted a natural look as he normally did. 
He never stopped me. I almost thought he was sleeping but he moved my hand once in awhile if I ever hit one of his cuts to hard. I stopped suddenly but he didn’t react. As much as I hate to say it, I was worried about him. What happened to him? Why is he acting like this?
“Jaebum, can we talk for a second?” He opened one eye. It felt like he was trying to find out what I was implying but when he nodded and got up I’m guessing he couldn’t figure out what I wanted to talk about. He led me out of the small room and turned down the hallway. He looked for a room as I followed him. He suddenly turned and lead me into a smaller room than the one before. It was slightly bigger than a janitor’s closet but smaller than a studio room. 
“Why are we in here?” I asked while looking around in the room. There was barely anything in it, just a few boxes and some mic stands. He glanced at me before leaning on the wall. “It’s a small secluded place, soundproof too. No one will what we do in here.” He stated. I started to get nervous and I felt my face get hotter. He saw my face and started to chuckle. “What? Are you nervous about being alone in here with me?” I glared at him and shook my head. “What is this place anyway?” I smirked at me before sighing and looking around the plain room. 
“It’s going to be a room where we would go and just practice our vocals. It’s not quite ready yet.” 
He suddenly moved closer to me, almost pushing me against the wall but not quite. My eyes widened and I moved back on instinct. My back hit the wall and he smirked, moving closer. “Do I still have an effect on you? Even after all these years?” My heart was beating so fast I swear he could hear it. My face was so hot I blessed the gods that it was dark in here so he couldn’t see my tomato of a face. “J-Jaebum I came in here to talk to you.” 
He didn’t move from his position and ignored my comment. “Cause you still have an effect on me, you know.” I gulped as my face got even hotter, if that was possible. He leaned in even more, almost closing the small space between us. “Why don’t we have a proper kiss this time?” My senses came back after he said the word kiss. I lightly pushed him back and regained control over the situation as I was finally able to calm down. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Also what did Dowoon do to you?” 
His expression immediately got darker making me more nervous than before. I tried backing away but my back was already pressed against the wall. “I don’t want to talk about that.” He stayed in place just staring at the floor angrily. His breathing got louder and I got scared that he was either going to faint or angrily hit something or worse, me.
We stood in silence for a little bit. The only noise was our breathing and my fast heart beating. I debated whether or not to leave since everyone was probably wondering where we went by now and I didn’t want to cause a riot of people looking for the man that just got back from the hospital for being attacked by a person who worked here. “Jaebum I think we should leave now.” I quietly said, already walking to the door. He glanced up at me then to the door. He sighed then got up aiming for the door handle but the door suddenly opened and in walked Luke. 
He was surprised, looking from me to Jaebum with his eyebrow raised in a shocked positioning. He pointed from Jaebum to me “Am I interrupting something or?” I quickly shook my head while Jaebum just scoffed. “No! We were just talking.” Luke nodded his head slowly still looking at Jaebum. “Well are you guys done talking because I have to set up the room.” He moved past us and into the room, starting to take out mics from the boxes and putting them on the mic stands. “Um yes we’re leaving now. Let’s go Jaebum.” I grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the room and I heard Luke chuckle softly.
“Who is that beach bum?” Jaebum said from behind me. I rolled my eyes. “He’s not a beach bum Jaebum, he works here. He’s a studio manager.” Jaebum scoffed at my answer. “I’ve never seen him before; and how do you know him?” I rolled my eyes once again. “I met him on the elevator; and what’s with all the questions?” He didn’t answer. 
We made it back to the room but no one questioned our disappearance, they were all doing the same thing as when we left. “I thought everyone would be flipping out because we were gone for so long.” I tailed off just thinking outloud. I looked around and made eye contact with the short red haired girl. She was doing Youngjae’s makeup. She caught my eye and gave me a sympathetic look then rubbed her stomach before turning back to continue with Youngjae. Did she just- Yah. I’m not pregnant you. I scoffed at her mentally then went to my station which Jaebum was already seated at, playing on his phone. 
“We didn’t get to talk about that kiss Jaebum.” He stopped playing in his phone, shutting it off before looking up at me from his spot in the chair. “What’s there to talk about? I kissed you and then your friend beat me up, even though you told him not too. He just couldn’t resist could he?” I narrowed my eyes at him. “How do you know I told him not to?” He swiveled around so he was facing me but still in the chair. “He told me while he was basically beating me up.” He got up and just stared at me not saying anything then smirked.
I looked away, not wanting to meet his piercing gaze. He grabbed my chin, making me look at him. He wasn’t smirking anymore, his eyes held something in them but i couldn’t quite figure out what it was. “You’re really beautiful, Y/n.” He said as soft as a whisper. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breath. He was so close to me that it reminded me of the first time he kissed me. I never thought of it but his kiss actually, felt good. “Jaebum there are people-” He put his finger on my lip making me stop talking.
“Can I please kiss you Y/n, without your friend interrupting us. I truly did love you. I can’t be more sorry for hurting you like that. If I could turn back time, I would’ve never agreed to that bet.”
His voice was so soft and soothing. I almost let him, wanting the feeling of his lips against mine again. I hated how I never moved on from him but I’m also grateful that didn’t, because I’m now standing in front of my high school crush, so close that if I moved even a little our lips would touch. “Y/n.” He said my name so softly, he said it with so much delicacy.
Before he could say or do anything else I moved forward and put my lips against his, for a slow and passionate kiss.                 
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Okay this needs to be said.
The Hunger Games is a good series. The books were. But im gonna say this. Yall are gremlins for bagging on it now after the fact.
The movies could have been better, but let's look at the books. Now I haven't read the books in a few years so my memory is hazy. Feel free to correct me, but don't be aggressive about it.
The love triangle: I have never been a fan of love triangles. Most of all the "oh! Two hot guys love me and I have feelings for both of them woe is me!" And while Suzanne Collins can write what she wants, to this day I don't like how she ended it. You had like 10 years to read this story so Spoilers ahead.
Katniss should not have ended up with Peeta. And on the same mark, she shouldn't have ended up with Gale either and thankfully she didnt. Katniss was right in that being the last thing she needed was more anger in her life. But I don't think saying that Peeta is the only help that can be given. Ver-batum "What I need is the dandelion in the spring...that it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that" Katniss suffers from fits of PTSD post the first novel. I'm not a psycologist, and my 2 trimesters of high school psych. Concepts and personal Psych don't mean shit, but I think I studied mental disorders enough to where YOU DON'T FOCUS ON ONE PERSON TO THROW YOUR PROBLEMS ONTO. Let alone Peeta had PTSD for the same reasons, then the tracker jacker (is think that's it. Can't remember. The bees) interrogation. Katniss needed professional and prolonged help, and I don't recall her getting it. I don't know if I'm coming off as too brutal, but this needs to be said. It's nice to talk to someone, but to make that person the one thing that keeps you stable is not a good mindset.
Gale. Now, I liked Gale. I enjoy seeing brotherly dynamics that don't "evolve" into love beyond friendship. But of course you have to include a child best friend in these kinds of stories. And I had that creeping suspicion the entire time the "you knew this man for years you'll go out with him" moment would come. And in book two it did. And then I disliked Gale for having been a total ass, like Katniss betrayed his trust when she had to kiss Peeta during the games. The woman was allowed to make her own choices, put on your big boy pants and stop acting like you deserved her.
Now that my biggest bugbears area out of the way, let's talk about what they did right, albeit some of them are right just barely (Sorry if my wording doesn't make too much sense. Most people who know me decipher what I mean rather easily when I rant)
The Human Cost: As anyone who read the series would point out, or remotely knows about it, the story was bloody and conflict driven. It wasn't watered down (for the audience considered, it wasn't). I was 14 when I read the series. The young adult audience Collins had in mind. Before then, I read mythologies and slice of life manga, if the most brutal I read was DBZ (They didn't have that in the school library though) so the time I read it, I was in shock. A child like Rue dying, that was jarring. Then the attack on the Capital. The moment with Prim and all the other children. Children as war casualties. 14 year old me still only thought that adults died in war, all I knew was that refugees were a thing. Im turning 20, I know it's much more than that now. But reading the death of those who were trying to help the hurt, that scared the life out if me. So I think Collins did well, if not hit the line, with the war.
Traumatic Events Affecting the Psyche: A lot, and I mean a lot of writers do this. They write off the after affects of battles. What should have been a traumatic event they just. Shrug off. Katniss, Peeta, Haymitch, and several other tributes develop with some form of mental harm because of the game. What Haymitch saw made him an alcoholic for Christ's sake. Katniss' only way to deal with what she saw was to hunt, but even then, she got flashbacks. And Peeta was a mess midway through Mockingjay. It showed how ones mental state can be affected in times fear and violence.
Now, I'm gonna adress a few problems I had with the movie.
The Casting: I did wish the cast was more diverse, but once you realize how vague a lot of descriptions are, you'd get why they just went for "copy paste white dude/woman." Katniss and a lot of people in the Seam were described as "olive skinned and black hair' which sounds like ...Mediterranean decent to me? I don't know how you can solve that. Don't know many Mediterranean actors. And yeah, making damn near the entirety of District 11, the agriculture district, African American wasn't the best idea now that I look back at it. It smells heavily of a throwback to Civil War America. A lot of descriptions were loose at the end of the day.
The Hunger Games isn't the perfect story. Now with what I read, it's far from it. But it was my first Dystopia. And it was my first series. That won't stop me from admitting it's problems. But it was good, and it still holds up as "Baby's first military run state" story.
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