#sorry for the underfell trash

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

How would every skeleton react to their S/o suddenly making a deep, ugly, long burp and then just going “oops” in a soft, light voice😂?

(Sorry if there’s any misspelling.)

Undertale Sans - He just says that's why he loves you before also burping, and giggling. Papyrus begs for someone to adopt him from the kitchen, desperate. You feel bad for him.

Undertale Papyrus - He doesn't look up from his plate to not embarrass you further. But it's quite obvious he heard that. He has his big silly googly eyes right now. At least he's nice enough to not mention what just happened.

Underswap Sans - Blue stares at you in shock. He didn't know you could do that. Well, he knew humans could make pretty disgusting noises, but this one is at the top of his tier list. He's going to have nightmares of this. If someone as sweet as you can make that noise, what else can you do? It's scary.

Underswap Papyrus - He's so surprised he spits all the water he was drinking in your face. As you flush in embarrassment, he turns crimson. And then he just blips in the air. You find him later hiding in the trash can outside, just screaming.

Underfell Sans - You call that a burp? You try to tell him he doesn't need to show it off to you, but he still does it. He burps with a crazy amount of reverb, very proud of himself. He's not going to apologize for this one though. At least you don't have to be embarrassed.

Underfell Papyrus - He stares at you in pure horror. He knew his brother could do that, but you??? He never expected to be so betrayed in his life. How could you do that to him? He thought you were like those anime princesses he saw in Alphys' anime: only badass, not shockingly dirty. He can't eat anymore and runs to his room like an angry teenager. You're so confused about what just happened.

Horrortale Sans - That's fine. Burping means your belly is full and that's really fine for him. He just purrs and headbutts you to reassure you. As long as you're not starving, he doesn't mind.

Horrortale Papyrus - He gasps, shocked, then screams "MANNERS PLEASE" before returning to his plate. He can't believe you just did that. At least you apologized, thankfully, or otherwise, he would have lectured you for twenty minutes.

Swapfell Sans - All you can hear is a little "dear lord" as he goes back to his plate. Nox is way too polite to tell you what he thinks of this. But his face, full of disgust, speaks a hell lot for him. He actually hates this. So much.

Swapfell Papyrus - Rus applaudes with two hands. See? He told you he would end up inspiring you. You said you could never be like him, and here you are, burping with all your soul like you own the place. He's a proud parent. You're not sure about that. But wait... You owned the place actually???

Fellswap Gold Sans - Eating stop. Wine slowly puts down his fork, then dramatically lifts his head to meet your eyes, with the most disappointed stare you have ever seen him do. You feel ashamed and can't even stand his eyes. He has that power over people. He's judging you in silence, but his silence is LOUD.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He giggles at your antic, before blushing furiously, thinking maybe you're embarrassed and actually don't want him to laugh at you. And of course, now he's spiraling, wondering if he messed up so bad you are going to throw him outside and ask him to never talk to him and... You kiss him on the cheek. Oh. That's fine then.

[tinderboxofsillyideas]

I’m such an idiot, omg x’‘D Don’t ask plz

Post with the original base

[lifesanssin]

12 hugging, he/him, Fell

Hug #12: Hugging while lying down together Character: Fell (Underfell Sans)

Read On AO3 🔗 https://archiveofourown.org/works/38320651/chapters/98420001

It hadn't been intended for the evening to go so poorly, especially with what day it was for you.

Fell had never cared much for anniversaries in the past, save for the obvious celebration of his brother's birthday and of gaining their freedom, of stepping foot aboveground for the very first time in centuries… but even then, he didn't have full faith in that date. Who knew when it'd be taken away again, and he'd wake up in Snowdin with the bitter, acrid taste of stale mustard coating his tongue from the night before? That hangover was always the worst, because he had to recover from a lifetime that was stolen from beneath his feet on top of going well over his drinking limits. No, he never cared much about specific dates except for those, but then he met you.

How he managed to get someone as good as you to fall for a mess like him… well, he wouldn't complain, but damn, he still wasn't sure how he managed that one. A year of being together, a year of a true taste of happiness…

… and he went and fucked up the whole evening.

Racism was still prevalent on the Surface for Monsters, but he'd been so distracted, skull in the clouds thinking about how much fun the two of you would have on your anniversary date, that he hadn't sensed anything was amiss as you wandered around the street festival. There was music playing loudly from somewhere further down the block, and merchants were calling out to people in hopes of selling their wares. He bought you a Nice Cream that you shared with him, and he looked over all of the trinkets and jewelry and other such frivolous, pretty things that you lingered at certain stalls to get. Every ring he spotted was calling out to him, and his soul yearned as he thought over his more recent private musings. He wasn't sure what your thoughts on marriage were, but stars, he hoped… he hoped.

With food bought and in hand, you both settled in on a bench at the outskirts of the festivities, laughing and talking about… he couldn't even remember what, just that he'd been enjoying it with you. He'd gotten up with promises of bringing back one of the fresh lemonades from the small stall across the street while you finished your hotdog, and that was apparently just enough time for someone to find you sitting alone. He took too long, shouldn't have ever left you, should have kept you with him-

The woman was sitting even closer to you than he'd been, the swell of her hip pressed against you despite how you'd obviously moved against the bench's arm to try and get space. She was so obvious that it was sickening, batting her too-long eye lashes and pressing her elbows together to accentuate her, admittedly, generous bust. You didn't look very comfortable, but you weren't in danger, and that was what kept him from rushing back. Her eye drew to him as he approached, and now it was her turn to look uncomfortable.

"Hey, why don't we go hang out somewhere more… private?" she suggested, and Fell set his jaw firmly to keep from grinding his fangs when a manicured hand reached out to brush over the front of your chest. You were patient, and kind, far more than he would've been, even as you gently took her wrist in hand and removed her touch from you.

"Sorry, I'm here with my boyfriend. I'm not interested." And oh, how he'd reveled in the disappointment that lingered in her expression, though less so when she seemed to get angry with you. You got up with your trash in hand and walked calmly over to him, giving him a small, faintly strained smile. "C'mon, let's go check out some more-" You cut off as you were jerked backward by the hood of your jacket, eyes widening in surprise and a small, startled sound leaving your lips. You turned to look at her and she was pissed, her grey eyes overcast and dark.

"So, what? You'll walk around with some monster before you have sex with me? What are you, a fag? A freak? What's wrong with you?" she said, voice raised.

And it was too perfect of a set-up, really, for Fell to deny. He gave her his most charming, sharp-edged grin and wrapped an arm around your waist, his eye lights flashing in warning brightly enough that she stumbled back a step, releasing you. "guess he's caught a case 'o good sense… an' good thing, too. spendin' th' night wit' a lil tart like ya, he'd jus' end up catchin' somethin' from ya." It was rude, and pretty uncalled for, he supposed. He could have gone on without insulting her, but she touched what was his, and… well, he was not a Monster that liked to share.

The insult hit its mark, and she scoffed, clearly indignant, and stormed off. You gave him a faintly disapproving look, though you were also clearly grateful to be rid of her, so he didn't take it too hard. His arm squeezed around your waist firmly and he nuzzled a kiss to your cheek, quick and quiet since you were both more or less isolated in that part of the street away from the festival. The flush of red across your cheeks was so pretty that he figured it was worth risking being caught acting so soft.

You both continued on with enjoying the sights and the snacks and the merchant stalls, stopping at the block with a stage set up that had live musical entertainment. Fell didn't dance in public, but he did grab your hips and pull you close while you danced, so… same difference, right? After a bit of that (and gaining more than a few dirty looks from onlookers for acting so flirtatiously in public), you pulled him away from the stage and the crowd and asked for him to wait while you used the restroom. He waited on the other side of the street from the blue more colloquially horrors known as port-a-potty's so he could keep watch while also checking out a particular jewelry stall nearby. It was run by a human and Monster couple, apparently, which surprised him a fair deal more than he might have admit, considering he was dating a human himself.

They had rings, like he'd been looking at before, but they also had collars, and charms to put onto your own collars, and… it made his skull and his chest a bit fuzzy-feeling, thinking about getting to collar you, himself. Would you be alright with that sort of thing? He knew humans had different (more kinky) connotations with them, but getting to walk around and know that everyone else knew you were his was… heady. He really liked the thought.

"That's him, there!" The familiar, shrill whine of a woman's voice prompted Fell to jerk his skull upward, breaking his train of thought away from collars and to you. You'd just come out from the bathroom as she'd presumably found you, cornering you with another, larger human at her side. Before he could even take a step, the guy's hand shot out, grabbing you by the front of the shirt like a kitten's scruff so he could shove you against the brick wall.

He didn't remember taking a shortcut, but one he was staring from across the street, and the next…

The next, he was standing next to you, a clawed hand locked around the offending human's wrist in a vice-like grip.

"i'mma ask jus' this once real nice like…" Fell began, voice full of false levity and a dangerous, rumbling undercurrent of a threat that tumbled just off the tip of his metaphorical tongue. "let m'mate go now, and y' can keep yer bones intact." Your breaths came as soft wheezes, a ghost of his name leaving you as an obvious attempt at keeping him calm, all while the stupid bitch from before cried out for her 'poor boyfriend'.

"What, you think you can just threaten my girlfriend and get away with it??" he ground out, mingling with a pained sound as Fell squeezed, then barked out a humorless laugh.

"we didn' do shit ta her… 'cept maybe hurt 'er lil' feelin's, fer not lettin' 'er go home with m'mate." This seemed to come as a surprise to the stupid humans, and she spun to stare imploringly up at her 'big, strong man' with teary eyes. "yeah, figured she'd not tell ya that lil tidbit."

"I-it's not true! I would never cheat on you, Scott! I… H-he's lying! He called me a tart for no reason, a-and-" Having had enough, Fell pressed his thumb into the underside of the boyfriend's wrist hard, enough that he cried out and released his grip on you. The very moment you were released, Fell ushered you behind him, his blazing eye lights never once leaving the couple before him. "H-he tried to proposition me, baby! Shouldn't you defend my honor??"

"ain't no honor here. no dignity, neither. jus' a slut havin' a fuckin' temper tantrum," he growled, shoving the human's arm back toward himself and stepping back with you. "word o' advice fer ya: don't fuck wit' a Monster's mate, cuz next time… heh. next time, y'jus' might not get t'keep that hand." With the message clearly delivered, both humans' faces pale and eyes wide, he turned to wrap his arms around you and pressed your face into his jacket, tugging you along a shortcut back home.

And just like that, with the objects of his anger gone, all his frustration and disappointment began to bubble to the surface. He released his hold on you and whirled around, tugging his coat off and tossing it over the back of his computer chair. "Fell…" His name always sounded so sweet falling from your lips, but right now… right now, he felt like he didn't deserve it. Giving a small grunt, he turned and reached for you, paused, then grunted again as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

"y'alright…?" The front of your shirt was stretched out a bit, the collar torn, but he couldn't see any injuries, smelt no blood… but he knew that you were likely shaken from it.

"Yeah, I'm alright, not hurt." Nodding along as you confirmed what he already knew, he missed the concern that flickered across your expression, just like he missed how his leg had begun to bounce anxiously. "Are… you alright?" That had him meeting your eyes, and he scoffed quietly, brow furrowing.

"s'not like th' first time that sorta thing's happened t'me. assholes're everywhere." After a moment, he huffed a hollow laugh, his eye lights dimming and his smile curling into something bitter. "only gonna have t'deal with more o' that, if yer with me. jus'…" His hands curled in his pockets into fists so tight that his phalanges grated against his palms, and he forced out a huff of a sigh, sockets closing. "jus' wish y'didn't have t'deal wit' it neither." He kicked his shoes off to Angel-knows-where and fell back onto his bed with a grunt and a huff, hands clasped behind his skull.

How was he so stupid? There's no way he could marry you, not with all of the trouble it- that he would end up bringing you. You deserved better, better than him, than having to dodge racists and assholes just because you married a Monster. …better than not even being able to enjoy your starsdamned anniversary because you were targeted. Maybe it was just him being dramatic, but he really just… couldn't see how it'd be worthwhile to you, and it made a space somewhere behind his sternum ache fiercely.

The dip of the mattress startled him from his thoughts, feeling it so close to him and not having noticed. How did he not notice? Sure, he was home, in his room, where it was safe… but he'd normally be far more observant. You're hovering over him now, your knees digging into the bed on either side of his pelvis and your hand planted beneath his arms by his ribcage. The expression you wear is unreadable for a moment, and the quiet stretches on… but then, with a small, quiet sigh, you drop your body down to lay atop of his. You worm your hands between the back of his ribcage and the bed so you can hold onto him, and his breathing hitches as he feels a powerful feeling welling up from within his soul. Shaking hands move from behind his skull and drag across your back, and he locks one arm around your waist while the other spans diagonally across your back, holding onto your shoulder. He buries his skull in the crook of your neck and squeezes his sockets shut tight, a faltering breath forcing itself from him.

"I'm not going anywhere, Fell." Despite being just five simple words, so softly spoken against the side of his skull, he felt each and every syllable strike him directly in the soul. He could hear that tone in your voice, that determined steadiness, and knew that you meant it. And he hated how poorly he handled things, how he was such absolute shit when it came to talking about stuff like feelings… because, if he wasn't, then maybe he could've found a way to tell you just how much that meant to him. As it were, he just nodded minutely, another, quiet hitch in his wholly unnecessary breath the only thing giving away what he felt. You pried one arm out from beneath him and raised it to smooth over the back of his skull, and his claws dug oh-so-carefully into your shirt to pull you closer. "You can't get rid of me. No matter how much you may try," you continued quietly, a faint, teasing edge warming your words that prompted a raspy chuckle from him, warm breaths against the side of your neck that made you shiver. You didn't mention the wetness tears against the side of your neck, but you never did, and it was just one of many, many, so many things that he loved about you.

"'m sorry," he grunted, forehead pressing to your shoulder more firmly when you made a slight, confused sound. "date's well shit at this point… was hopin' things'd work out this once when i planned it-"

"Don't," you interrupted gently, lips pressing to the side of his skull, and he nudged into it. "Don't try and apologize for what other stupid fuckwits did. Besides… up until them happening, I really had fun with you. And, look. We're here, aren't we?" You pulled back then, and he kept his sockets shut, still unable to help but feel shameful for the translucent red trails leading down from his sockets. He didn't flinch when he felt your hand, softer than his own could ever be, brushed away the tears with a soft hum. "You're here, and I'm here, and… that's honestly all I want." Fell blinked his sockets open to look up at you, eye lights all soft and bright, and he couldn't help the raspy wheeze of a chuckle that escaped him, the corners of his fanged maw tilting upward into a surprisingly soft smile. "There he is… Hi, Cherry-Pie."

Such a stupid nickname, undeniably schmoozy and sweet, and he hated shit like that… unless it was you saying it, of course. Even as his cheekbones lit all aglow with a red flush and his chest vibrated softly with the beginnings of a contented purr, he couldn't find it in him to be upset about it. "heh, hey there, angel-cakes…" Your smile lit up every dark corner of his soul, and he couldn't help himself, gently tugging you back down so he could kiss you.

"Someday you'll realize. That I'm not going anywhere without you," you said, breaking away from his mouth to pepper kisses down along his jawbone and his cervical vertebrae. "It's like we're practically married already."

His soul gave a heady-feeling flip in his ribcage, and his purring ramped up as he turned to nuzzle insistently against you. Your laughter broke into giggles, cries for 'mercy' as he 'smothered you with affection', and he allowed himself to be swept into the playfulness of it all.

In his soul, though, he felt relief. He got one answer he'd been seeking. Now, he just needed to make a particular purchase, to await the next, more important question he needed to ask.

My AO3 🔗 https://archiveofourown.org/users/Life_sans_Sin Buy me a Dr. Pepper 🔗 https://ko-fi.com/lifesanssin Commission Me 🔗 https://ko-fi.com/lifesanssin/commissions

[cheapbourbon]

*PAPYRUS 1 ATK 1 DEF *HE IS JUST A BABYBONES WHO NEEDS CARE AND LOVE...

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I hardly ever post my sketches on here, but this one just kills me so much- so have some de-aged Edgelord in the care of the Swapbros. 

[chocolatte-and-despair]

So, what if Fell Sans's S/O had been in an abusive relationship where there hadn't been consent a few times and the S/O's old partner did lots of things to the S/O. Because of the relationship, they get scared at the little things like him raising his fist at all, sudden movements, people standing behind them, physical contact sometimes, and just things like that? They'd also be very submissive, due to the fact that if they weren't, they'd get hurt in the past relationship. Would Fell Sans care? Would Fell Sans like the feeling of power over his S/O? Would he be extremely nice to the S/O? Lol I have so many questions. As a Fell Sans simp, I'd love detail, but no pressure! Make sure to do what you feel should be done and don't feel pressured because of someone wanting detail or anything like that. Go at your own pace! I'm sure most of us can be patient and wait if you need personal time or anything! Have a great day/evening/night/morning! Sorry if I seemed pushy or annoying, I just feel like you should remember that you can go at your own pace!

Underfell Sans

* I'll be honest, Red hates submissive people. Don't take it the wrong way, but he doesn't find them attractive at all. He comes from a place were submissive people get killed or become pets and he has no interested in killing you or having you as a pet. He wants an equal or even a better than him. Not... Whatever you are supposed to be. * Of course, because you are his friend and he loved you before you turned in whatever mess you are now, he is willing to try and help you out get your life back together. He might not be romantically attracted to you anymore, but it doesn't mean that he doesn't care anymore. * First of all, he would try to figure out what type of things the guy would do, before bringing you to his brother, who worked as a police officer and forced you to write out a domestic violence report. He knows that you might not be ready, but the first step to getting better is getting rid of the abusers. * After that would be done, he would make sure to get in contact with his therapist and a few others that he knows, to try and go find someone for you. Listen, as much as he cares, he is not a professional. He himself has issues. He goes to a therapist for that. And you are going to go too. If you refuse, then he will distance himself. He doesn't need a dead weight that wants to force all their problems on him. * Now, if you accept, he would be there to support you. He can't help you like a therapist, but he will be the one who comes to pick you up, bringing you snacks and the person who would talk to your therapist so he would know what he can do to help you out. * Red never enjoyed feeling better than someone else. He has been trash all his life, so why the fuck would he want to make someone else feel the same way? All he wants is for you to be equal to him, or at least, to get better enough so he could leave you in peace. * Red has been abused too. He has gone through a lot of shit, that's why he will be sympathetic towards you but no more than how he is with everyone else. Don't expect him to always comfort you and encourage your bad behaviors. He will give you a shoulder to cry onto ONLY if you show the want to get better. He doesn't want to get involved with you if you are only seeking for comfort while drowning in your own emotions without attempting to escape. * Red will give you tough love because that is exactly what you need. You are not your problems and he is not going to allow you to use your past as an excuse for things. He can understand boundaries, but don't think he will forgive you just because you use your past as an excuse for it.

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Not So Golden Opportunity (BAON)

Summary:  Usually Stretch likes getting packages in the mail, but there is always room for an exception.

Tags: Spicyhoney, Established Relationships, Hurt/Comfort

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

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Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

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The knock on the front door wasn’t much of a surprise, not when it came at delivery o’clock. Stretch always had packages coming in, everything from equipment for the lab to a new t-shirt that declared he was a ‘Karaoke King’, there was always something for their delivery person to drop off. At any given time, there was enough cardboard stored in their garage waiting to get dropped off at recycle to make one heck of a box fort, and that was on his list to do with the neighborhood kiddos one of these weekends.

So, the knock on the door? Not a surprise. What they were delivering on the other hand—

“uh, wow, thanks, marty,” Stretch said, a little dubiously. Marty let out an agreeable honk and meandered their way back to their little mail truck, leaving Stretch standing there with an enormous armful of flowers from an unknown source. Couldn’t be from Edge. Sure, he’d given flowers a few times, but Edge was more of an in-person sort of guy when it came to presents.

Welp, there was only one way to find out, wasn’t there. Time to get his Velma on and look for some clues.

Stretch carried the massive thing inside and plunked it down on the coffee table to give it a closer look. It was actually a very nice floral arrangement, even Stretch could see that and he didn’t know shit about flowers or décor. Tiny sprays of white, bell-like blooms and ferny green things surrounding several huge blooms of golden flowers, the likes of which Stretch hadn’t seen in years, not since they were Underground.

Hm. Golden flowers.

The card had Edge’s name on it, but Stretch didn’t bother sneaking a peek. Mystery solves, there was only one person who would’ve had this delivered to their door and he probably made it with his own fuzzy hands. The real question was why that asshole was having flowers sent to his husband, thank you, and the only way to find out if he needed to start making plans to yank out hunks of fur with his bare hands was to ask, with the minimum of simmering jealousy possible.

“babe?” Stretch called. Edge was in the kitchen, making preparations for their new cupboards to be installed next week. “hey, c’mere a minute!”

He’d expected Edge to be pleased, he did like his flowers, heck, maybe even excited in that adorably subdued way he had, and much as Stretch could have done without any surprise packages from Ass-gore in their house, eh, he’d deal with it if they made Edge happy.

The last thing he anticipated was for Edge to stop cold halfway out the kitchen door, the fleeting expression of disgust crossing his face quickly shifting to blankness. Edge wasn’t exactly the most emotive guy out there, but Stretch was pretty good at reading his facial version of charades and right now there wasn’t so much as a twitch of the eye socket or a curl of his mouth as he said, low, “Please put that in the garage.”

“the garage?” Stretch repeated doubtfully. He looked down at the extravagant display of floral dominance in his hands and wondered if he’d heard that right. “you sure?

“Yes, because someone might notice if you put it right into the trash.” That blankness cracked, a little, enough for Edge to snap out, “Just get it out of the damn house!”

Yeah, okay, got that message loud and clear, especially since Edge was starting to look a little glowy around the hands, like he was considering a little impromptu, and violent, floral rearranging. Stretch grabbed up the offending bouquet before it could end up as target practice and shortcutted out into the garage.

Like the rest of the house, it was neat as a pin, no oil stains on this concrete floor and all the tools neatly put away on the pegboard. In the back corner was the motorcycle, shrouded in drop cloths and waiting for Edge to be able to take it out for a spin again. Didn’t seem like putting the flowers anywhere special was part of today’s theme, so Stretch stuffed the thing into the furthest spot, away from Edge’s car so he wouldn’t have to see it when he came out on his way to work tomorrow.

Job successfully achieved, Stretch dusted off his hands and teleported back inside. Edge was already gone from the living room, no surprise there, but he hadn’t gone back to the kitchen. A quick, not-at-all-frantic search found him sitting out on the front porch and that wasn’t really a surprise, either. But the cigarette in his hand? Now that blew past surprise all the way into flabbergasted shock. Far as Stretch knew, Edge hadn’t bummed a smoke in months, his general attitude towards smoking was distaste with extreme prejudice. It took a helluva lot for him to give into the urge for a quick fix to a nicotine craving. Whatever his issues were with the flowers, whether it was the gift or the person who sent them, they were bad.

“babe?” Stretch asked, cautiously, still hovering half in the house. As worried as he was, he wouldn’t push, ready to leave if Edge wanted to be alone.

Edge only shifted the cigarette to his other hand and patted the concrete next to him in silent invitation. A little relieved, Stretch came out and sat down. He dug his own cigarette out of the crumpled pack and the two of them sat hip to hip, quietly smoking. Overhead, the sky was endless sea of deep blue broken only by the occasional streak of a puffy cloud. A nice day, too nice for the unspoken questions hanging heavily in the air, but Stretch didn’t ask them. Edge would talk when he was ready and if he never was, welp, that was fine, too. Edge wasn’t the only one who could be supportive, Stretch was more than willing to take his turn under the weight.

It wasn’t until Edge tamped out his cigarette in the ashtray Stretch kept out on the porch that he spoke.

“I’m sorry,” Edge said finally. “I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“i think i’ll live, babe,” Stretch replied, dryly, “the wounds were superficial.” He gave Edge a gentle nudge in the side with his elbow. “you okay?”

Yeah, okay, that wasn’t pushing, thanks. Besides, it was a stupid question, because the answer was obviously going to be a ‘yes, fine’ and that’d be it.

Except that he didn’t get the obvious answer he expected.

“Not right now,” Edge said. His sockets were half-closed and instead of their yard, he seemed to be looking miles away. “I will be.” They sat in silence for a while longer, Stretch watching people walking by, waving as required and leaving Edge to his thoughts. He was lighting a second cigarette when Edge finally spoke again, softly. “Golden flowers.” The faint hitch in his voice could’ve meant nothing, if the person he was sitting with didn’t know him so well. “I haven’t seen real golden flowers in years.”

Stretch considered that. “i’m taking it they weren’t sorely missed.”

“Hm?” Crimson eye lights briefly flicked his way. “No, not at all. I hate the blasted things.”

Stretch only took a long drag and exhaled slowly, blowing a smoke ring up into that blue, blue sky. He didn’t ask or urge him to talk, simply being there if he chose to. And Edge did, slowly, as if choosing every word with care. “The only place in Underfell where golden flowers grew was the king’s chamber in New Home. My memories of that place are…not pleasant.”

Not pleasant. Yeah, like lava is a wee bit warmish or the Titanic sprung a little leak. Indisputable truths: water is wet, the sky is blue, grass is green, and any meeting with the king of all Monsters in Underfell was not pleasant.

The explanation made perfect sense, really; if Stretch’d had a minute to actually think about it instead of dividing his attention between ditching the flowers and then finding his wayward husband, he probably would have figured it out on his own. Perfect sense, yep, and that was why Stretch was torn between temptations. First, to grab Edge and hold him close, to keep him there in his arms and do whatever it took to chase away any of the mental ghosts that were creeping in, to be the protector for one damn time. And then there was the equal temptation to take that little flower arrangement on back to the source and see if he could find any handy place to stick it, because right now, he was ready to cram it so far up someone’s fuzzy buns that they’d need their dentist to help get it loose.

But Edge wouldn’t appreciate either of those options. All Stretch could do here was sit here, be here, and hope it was enough.

Stretch was so lost in his thoughts that he startled at the touch of a gloved hand as it settled gently over his bare one, sharp fingertips blunted by fabric lightly stroking his own. “He didn’t know, love. He mentioned to me in passing that he’d started working on floral arrangements again for the summer and that he’d be sending them out to Embassy employees, and I completely forgot.”

Trust Edge to know exactly what direction his thoughts were headed, right off the grid and into a little righteous revenge. Didn’t help that the things Stretch wanted to say to that excuse weren’t exactly helpful. Things like, Asgore should have been able to guess, homey reminders were only good for people who actually liked their past home, and maybe a reminder to pay some fucking attention to anything besides his own personal popularity contest was in order. Or how about suggestion for a visit to emphasis the whole ‘we don’t send my husband any gifts without pre-approval, asshole’.

None of those options were actually useful and either might actually get him banned from the Embassy this time, so Stretch kept ‘em to himself and only said, “i know.”

Then he let out a squawk as that gentle touch on his hand turned into a firm grip around his wrist and he was abruptly yanked over into Edge’s lap. He barely managed to put out his cigarette before it landed anywhere unpleasant. It took a little creative, and occasionally blatant, wriggling to get situated but in the end, he was settled across Edge’s femurs and snuggled in. His own hands were perfectly G-rated, Edge’s only slightly less so but it wasn’t like anyone on the street could see the hand he’d slipped under Stretch’s sweatshirt and settled over his sternum, right where his soul would manifest if he summoned it. Neither of them did, not yet, not out here in front of the broad daylight and the neighbors. The barest suggestion was enough for right now.

“I’m all right,” Edge murmured, and the warmth of his breath against the curve of his jaw was a tempting distraction. But Stretch wasn’t gonna forget to hand over a carefully selected piece of his mind to Asgore the next time he saw him.

Next time fuzzy ass wanted to send a present, he could stick with a gift card.

-finis

[washi-undertale]

Zero Redeeming Qualities

A couple years ago the Undertale, Underfell, Underswap, and Swapfell (Red) universes collided, merging into a single - peaceful - universe.

The skelebros have become friends in this universe, often hanging out and spending time together,

Except for Sans, who is distant with everyone and has a tense relationship with Papyrus.

After losing a drinking challenge, Red asked Sans on a date, where he found himself with more questions than answers. After a second date to the museum, Red and Sans exchanged numbers.

Inspired by: Lov Ya by sunblind_seabird

MASTER POST

FIRST CHAPTER

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

NEXT CHAPTER

Chapter Nine: Confounding

—Red—

Red snorted as he read Sans’ misspelled name on his cup of coffee.

“ ‘sands’, eh?”

They’d left The Parlor and were again walking the paths of the park, Red trying to make aimless conversation as he built up the nerve to break the question.

“it’s course, rough, and irritatin’,” Sans answered with a casual shrug. “guess the barista knows me.”

“y’ain't irritating’,” Red growled. “barista’s a beach if they think so.”

“i sea what you did there,” Sans responded, ducking his head and refusing to react to the first part of what Red said. “she made a mistake, s’not shrimportant.”

“yeh shore do like takin’ the piss outta yerself,” Red muttered, taking a sip of his drink.

He was irritated, and he was taking that out on Sans when the other had done nothing to deserve it.

 For some reason, Mutt’s teasing had gotten to him.

“you make it sound like i’m doin’ it on porpoise,” Sans said. He raised his coffee cup to his mouth, looking at it with an … almost wistful expression. “i just happen t’ be the biggest joke i know.”

Red frowned, watching the other from the corner of his eye socket. Annoyance gave way to concern as Sans took a sip of his drink, his smile wide and taut at the edges, only to rise again as Mutt’s words came to mind.

“don’t tell me you caught feelings for him!”

Red looked away, glaring at the concrete of the footpath.

It was a relief that his phone chimed at him at that moment, pulling him from his twisting thoughts.

“oh,” he said as he looked at the message. A reminder from a local astronomy group. “there’s a thing goin’ on this weekend, at the observatory. wanna go?”

“what kinda thing?” Sans asked, carefully treading a line between intrigue and disinterest. “i can’t pay for anythin’.”

“it’s a free event,” Red explained, holding out his phone so Sans could see the message. “they’re callin’ ‘em ‘star parties’. buncha people - mostly human, monsters ain’t really … interested in the stars - gettin’ t’gether t’ stargaze.” He felt the excitement building as he talked. He’d been wanting to go to one for … as long as he’d known about them.

No one else had wanted to go. Papyrus and Mutt weren’t interested at all, Black was too busy, and Blue didn’t have the patience to stargaze for hours. Edge would have gone, but Red had wanted to go with someone who would appreciate it.

Someone like Sans.

 “th’ observatory ain’t open yet, but the grounds are. they let anybody show up, set up their telescopes,” Red continued, trying to keep his excitement contained. He tossed his empty coffee cup into a nearby trash bin. “sometimes they got speakers and shit. this month is pretty laid back, though.”

“i don’t have a telescope,” Sans said as he handed back the phone.

“that’s part of the beauty of it,” Red said as he turned off the screen of his phone and slid it into his pocket. “y’don’t need one. people’ll let yeh use theirs.”

Red could see Sans’ excitement, feel it coming off of him in waves. His eyelights were wide and bright, and his smile was quirked into something real.

Like he’d looked in the planetarium.

“i … ”

For a moment Red let himself hope.

“… can’t.”

Sans looked at the ground, excitement snuffed like a candle without oxygen, eyelights dim and unfocused.

“sorry,” he appended. “i can’t take the time off work.”

“why the fuck not?” he demanded in a low growl, unable to keep his anger from his voice.

Red floundered in his own emotional whiplash, dashed optimism and unresolved irritation combining into red-hot rage. He knew he was overreacting, knew that the nascent hopes he’d placed in maybe going to the event weren’t worth this reaction, but he couldn’t stop.

“i told ya, money’s tight right now,” Sans said as he cowered away from Red without making it obvious what he was doing.

“ ‘money’s tight’,” Red mocked. “so tight yeh can’t take one night off’ve work - but not tight enough t’ get over whatever hangup yeh got about humans t’ ask fer help?”

“it’s … complicated,” Sans said.

Red ignored him.

“it’d be easy t’ get yeh hired at my store. all i’d need t’ do is put in a good word fer yeh. the managers all like me.”

“i can’t,” Sans said, voice taking on a desperate edge. He backed away as Red pushed forward.

“and if money’s that fuckin’ tight, why ain’t Papyrus workin’?! and not his volunteer bullshit, but a job that actually pays?”

“he’s busy with schoo- ”

“ ‘busy with school’ my ass. my entire nonexistent ass, sans,” Red shouted. “he was gettin’ coffee with the others. i ain’t never seen him pass the bill on t’ someone else, so he probably paid for himself and everythin’!”

“it’s - ”

“if yeh say ‘it’s complicated’ again … pap and the swap bros were goin’ to a movie. he talked about buy-in’ popcorn. that shit ain’t cheap. why’s he doin’ that shit if money is so damn ‘tight’ that you can’t take one night off?”

“he deserves - ”

“and you don’t?!”

“you don’t underst- ”

“then fuckin’ explain it, sans!” Red shouted.

Silence fell between them, Sans staring at Red, mouth agape and at a loss for words. Red’s chest heaved as a strange calm settled over him, in the eye of his emotional storm.

Sans looked away first, hand tight around his half-empty to-go cup.

“it’s just the way it is,” he said after a quiet moment, voice quiet and tinged with shame. Shame and a melancholy sort of resignation. “it’s my responsibility. i’m s’posed to look after him, y’know?”

He glanced up at the sky, taking in the early twilight.

“i gotta get home, get ready for work,” he mumbled. “maybe we can do this again sometime?”

Sans looked around, orienting himself before figuring out the way to his apartment.

“sans wait, i - ” Red reached out and grabbed his arm, hand closing around his upper humerus.

His grip was tight, but he didn’t expect Sans to flinch away with a hiss, dropping his unfinished coffee on the ground. The lid fell off, splashing them both with mocha.

Red didn’t notice, letting go of Sans and holding his hands up defensively.

“shit i didn’t mean t’ … ”

He trailed off as realization set in.

He had hurt Sans, but he hadn’t injured him.

“yeh get that by ‘trippin’,’ too?” Red asked darkly.

Sans rubbed at his humerus, trying to ease the ache and refusing to look at Red.

“sans?”

“it’s nothin’,” Sans muttered. He closed his eyes, like he could click his heels three times and be back in Kansas. “it was an accident. i’m fine.”

“no y’ain’t,” Red said with a sigh. “but yeh ain’t gonna tell me what’s goin’ on. do yeh even tell papyrus what’s goin’ on, or do yeh leave him in the dark, too?”

Sans winced at his brother’s name, but didn’t defend himself. Didn’t do … anything but look at the slowly oozing puddle of coffee at his feet.

“is that why you an’ pap don’t get along?” Red asked. “is that why it seems like he can’t stand t’ be around you?”

He regretted the words immediately.

Sans crumbled, hugging himself with his arms and his carefully crafted facade collapsing into dust and ruin.

“i’m sorry,” he said in a whisper.

Like he had anything to apologize for.

“i didn’t mean … i … fuck,” Red said, fumbling as he watched his counterpart flounder, unable to take back what he’d said to cause it. “i … i gotta go.”

Without waiting for a response Red vanished, leaving Sans alone in the park.

Fuck.

—Sans—

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, unable to move or think or breathe, staring at the spilled coffee and replaying those final words in his head.

It was funny, in a way, how the sentiment wasn’t anything shocking. It wasn’t like it was a secret, how Papyrus felt about Sans. Everyone knew there was a rift between them. Everyone knew Papyrus didn’t like Sans.

If they didn’t, Papyrus made sure they found out.

And honestly, who could blame him? Sans was little more than a burden on his younger brother. Useless and lazy and unstable.

And Papyrus was … great. The greatest.

But somehow, hearing those words …

It broke something in Sans’ very Soul.

He can’t stand to be around you.

Sans picked up the discarded lid and cup, throwing both into the trash bin.

He wasn’t sure exactly how he’d fucked up this time, how he’d made Red so … angry. He’d never seen the other like that, all fury and spite.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and started his walk home.

It didn’t really matter how he’d fucked up. It was obvious that Red was done with him. He fought the urge to dig his beat up cellphone from his pocket, to text him an apology.

He couldn’t fix this with a “sorry” and a crying-face emoji, if his phone could even deal with those.

His one chance at a friend and he’d blown it by … being himself.

It’d be funny if it weren’t so fucking sad.

Sans sighed as he approached the apartment building. He tried the knob experimentally, uncertain if he’d locked it or not. He’d expected Papyrus to be home tonight, but if he was at a movie with Blue and Stretch …

Sans didn’t look forward to being locked out.

Luckily, he’d been too distracted to lock the door.

Without Papyrus around Sans felt like an intruder, the dark quiet of the apartment oppressive and stifling.

Sans wandered into the kitchen, pulling out a container of leftovers to heat up for himself. Spaghetti with meatballs, a classic Papyrus dish.

As the container spun on the microwave’s turntable, he realized he wouldn’t be able to eat it.

The smell of tomatoes and basil made his magic churn uncomfortably, a state that only worsened when he took the food out of the microwave.

“guess i’m not eatin’ tonight,” he muttered as he tried not to gag.

Fortunately, he knew someone who would gladly eat the pasta, so Papyrus would never know he’d skipped another meal.

Sans left the apartment, heading directly to the alleyway beside it, whistling through his teeth as he approached. He smiled when he saw who he was looking for.

“hey there, buddy,” Sans said softly as the small, white dog crawled out of the cardboard home Sans had built for him. “got some dinner for ya, if ya want it.”

He set the container down, taking a step back to let the dog investigate the food.

The dog had shown up months ago, starving and mangy. Sans wasn’t sure if it was the same “annoying hound” that had plagued Papyrus in the Underground, but he liked to imagine it was. He’d always liked the little beast and his antics, sneaking into their home and stealing bones when Paps wasn’t looking.

He’d been glad when he’d found the dog, even though he regretted that he couldn’t give him a better life. Sans had been very careful to keep the dog away from Papyrus, wary of his brother calling Animal Control.

The dog sniffed at the spaghetti before eagerly chowing down. Sans wasn’t sure pasta was necessarily good for dogs, but he hoped it wouldn’t hurt.

It was better than nothing, at least.

He made a mental note to stop at a butcher shop to ask for scraps sometime soon, and slumped against the wall.

“i fucked up again,” he told the dog as it ate. “red’s prob’ly never gonna talk to me again. i mean, it was only a matter of time, right? he asked me t’ go to this stargazing thing … honestly it sounded amazing. buncha people getting together to look at the stars’n’planets. too bad stars ain’t visible durin’ the day. i’d gladly give up a couple hours’ve sleep t’ see jupiter or saturn with my own eye socket.”

Sans sighed as the dog licked the container clean, then whined at him for more.

“sorry bud, that’s all i got,” he said with a sad shrug. He scratched the mutt’s head as it came over to him for a snuggle.

“i told red i couldn’t go,” he said with a dark chuckle. “he got angry. i don’t blame him … but it still hurts.”

The dog whined and lay down next to the skeleton, head on his lap. He yawned and closed his eyes, fed and safe.

“thanks bud,” Sans said with a small smile. “y’always know how to cheer a guy up.”

—Red—

Red sat at the table, looking at the notebook in front of him. The moment he’d gotten home he had started scribbling all the little observations he’d noticed about Sans.

     Polite

    Shy

    Bruises - head and arm - won’t explain

    Speaks highly of Pap - doesn’t have a bad thing to say about anyone?

On the opposite page were things he’d noticed about Papyrus.

    Loud

    Kind

    Strong

    Fashionable - always wearing something new

As he detailed out both Tale brothers, a picture began to emerge.

A very concerning picture that he didn’t want to admit.

But he couldn’t think of any other explanation.

He’d fucked up. He’d fucked up bad.

—Edge—

Edge took comfort in routine. He felt most secure when things were in their proper place, when things happened at the appropriate time.

It made it easy. to tell when something was wrong.

What he expected when he came home from working nights was to find Red asleep on the couch, snoring and drooling, some gory slasher flick playing for no one. Every night Red tried to wait up for Edge.

Every night he failed.

Edge would turn off the TV, wake his brother enough to see him to bed, then shower to wash the smell of the kitchen from his bones. Then he could go to bed, resting easy knowing everything was where it should be.

“BROTHER?” he asked when he opened the door to the apartment.

Far from being asleep, Red was wide awake, pacing manically. At his brother’s voice, Red turned and Edge saw his eye sockets were wide, the eyelights nearly nonexistent.

Confusion, concern, and worry surrounded him in a near-tangible aura.

“boss,” he breathed out in a relieved sigh.

Edge waited, nervous, as Red collected his thoughts, uncertain what to expect.

He began wondering where best to hide a body.

Red looked at him, eye sockets full of uncertainty and concern.

“somebody’s hurtin’ sans,” he said in a quiet rush, like he was afraid someone might overhear. “… and i think I know who.”

Next Chapter

[svwhssftr]

I’m sorry @underfell-crystal

they do eat seals

The tiger shark is a solitary, mostly nocturnal hunter. It is notable for having the widest food spectrum of all sharks, with a range of prey that includes crustaceans, fish, seals, birds, squid, turtles, sea snakes, dolphins, and even other smaller sharks.

…also

Tiger sharks are aggressive predators, famous for eating just about anything they find or are able to capture. They have been known to eat many different fishes and invertebrates, seabirds, sea turtles, some marine mammals, stingrays and other rays, smaller sharks, sea snakes, and scavenged dead animals, among other things. Several tiger sharks have been known to eat garbage, including metal, plastic, wood, fishing gear, and other trash. Though they are generalist predators, in some areas, tiger sharks likely specialize on certain highly available prey. For example, in Hawaii, tiger sharks are known to regularly attack and eat green turtles and hawaiian monk seals near the nesting beaches for those two species. Scientists often observe individuals with missing flippers that have been bitten off by a Tiger. At other island groups, tiger sharks are known to congregate near seabird rookeries during the times when young birds are learning to fly (and often end up on the sea surface). Finally, tiger sharks have been known to bite people, and their rather large size leads to occasional fatalities, particularly in areas where large numbers of people use the ocean, recreational

[kyedrinkscola]

Posting my first chapter onto here!!

Yes, I AM kyedrinkscola from Wattpad. I mainly draw, but on here I’ll focus on writing.

Also, if you’ve read the latest chapters, you KNOW that Ink isn’t a goody two shoes.

-

Error's PoV:

I don't care anymore. I've been beaten down so many times, what does it matter? According to the voices, however, it DOES matter.

"You lazy son of a bitch."

"Get up! Stop complaining!"

"You need to destroy the AU's, Error! Now get the fuck up!"

"Guys, please-"

"SHUT UP, ANON. HE CLEARLY DOESN'T DESERVE PITY. HE'S USELESS."

Tears run down my face silently, as I listen to this massacre in my head. I sigh eventually, getting up. I might as well destroy a world. I crack my knuckles, trembling slightly. Ink was definitely going to try and kill me.

I teleport to Underfell copy 279. I'm so sick of killing. I'm so sick of destroying.

I hate myself down to the core of my being.

I start from the Ruins. I'm barely in the Judgement Hall when I hear an unholy scream behind me.

"GrEAt, it'S inK," I whisper to myself. He looks extremely pissed off when I turn around. "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" Ink screams. "YOU ALWAYS DESTROY MY CREATIONS, ERROR! I'M SICK OF IT! I'M SICK OF YOU!"

I sigh, broken inside. This will be one hell of a fight. I refuse to initiate the fight, however. I'm not a sadist, nor a masochist. I just wanted Ink to stop creating, and understand the Balance.

He swings his stupid paintbrush at me with the look of pure murder. I dodge, my face emotionless. At this rate, I'm going to be suffering at the end.

He growls, trying to swing at me again. I tie him up with my strings, squeezing his body a bit harder than intended. He yelps, pain flashing his face.

I sigh. "BUdDY. CaN i exPLaIN wHY i dEStrOy??" He glares at me. "You're just going to say the same damn answer. 'There's a balance, and you're ruining it.' Am I right?"

My breathing hitches. Dread flashed across my face for a fraction of a second, and he sees it, smirking. "I knew it. You're faking your emotions. I knew you were emotionless!"

Wait... what? Confusion apparently stays on my face, so he chuckles. "Damn, okay. Faking your frowns too? Listen, BUDDY. I create, you destroy. You're a piece of garbage, and I hope you die."

I feel tears swimming in my eye sockets. He just laughs. "I'm getting to ya, huh? Yeah, that's right. Grow up, piece of trash, I can't babysit."

I feel like I'm going to call out for help. For death.

But nobody would come, right? So I just pull up the console. I notice Ink's expression go from glee to utter panic. "WAIT! ERROR, PLEASE DON'T DESTROY THIS WORLD! I WORKED SO HARD ON IT-"

I destroy the world, and dump us into separate portals. I don't care if he worked his ass off to make it. I still need to destroy, or the Balance will come undone.

I start crying and muttering to myself in the AntiVoid. Little did I know... I was gonna have a really bad time in a few hours.

Ink's PoV:

I scream loudly the moment I reach my new destination. Apparently the idiot dropped me off in front of my house, because Dream and Blueberry immediately ran to open the door, comforting me.

Tears of sadness and anger roll down my cheeks. WHY? WHY WOULD HE DO THIS? DOES HE NOT KNOW IT CAUSES ME PHYSICAL PAIN WHEN HE ATTACKS AND DESTROYS?!

Of course he wouldn't. I never told him, because then he'd destroy until I died. "Balance", what an excuse. He just wants to kill and kill and kill. I hate him.

So why do I feel guilty? Why do I hate myself, too? I don't understand. I'll never understand.

Me and the Star Sanses decide for make a meeting. There, we and the other Sanses and Papyruses decide we've had enough of Error. We make a plan to ambush and kill him, once and for all. He'll finally stop ruining everything. He'll stop ranting about the "Balance".

I create a blank AU, nothing in it. Time to wait.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Finally, he arrives. I start my usual spiel about how he can give up, and become allies, and stop destroying.

He looks genuinely sad for 2 minutes, contemplating. He frowns. I know he's going to say no, I can feel it.

"I'm really sorry Ink," he says with no glitches. I'm genuinely shocked for a second, especially at how he sounds and how vulnerable he's acting. "But I can't. The Balance-"

I immediately cut him off. Fuck the Balance. Fuck whatever the hell kind of spiel he was gonna make. We're gonna kill him and he'll pay for this utter and complete chaos.

I snap my fingers. Immediately, Sanses and Papyruses race out of my portals. Error looks utterly terrified as I smirk. We attack.

He looks so scared, how fucking weak is this guy? But why do I still feel so guilty?

We break him down until he's barely recognizable. He's so bloodied up and bruised that only his ripped clothes give him away as Error.

I grin wildly. Finally, to kill him. But as I walk towards him, he whimpers and tries to pull himself away from me. Is he.... crying?

"P1EaS3!! ST0P!! I H4t3 MYSelF EN0UGH ALR34DY!!" Error cries out. I stop suddenly.

He... hates himself?

Is he... depressed...?

Holy fuck. I think I attacked him so much, he became depressed. He cries and sobs, curling up into a ball on the floor. How could I do this, even to HIM?

I finally CHECK him, my breathing hitching when I see his stats for the first time. Everyone is silent as I start crying.

"E7R0r S4nS - ATK 28$:8;692, DEF 0

The Forced God of Destruction; made to suffer and cry at the hands of Fate herself.

Fate's second creation, the first being The God of Creation, Ink. Torn from his AU and tortured, he was forced into a duty that he despises with all of his soul. Now, he's severely traumatized and depressed, as he destroys AU's to keep the Balance intact.

Isn't it funny, how because Ink was too selfish to stop his first creation spree, a Sans was torn from an AU, and forced to become a killer? Isn't it funny, how because Ink was so selfish and cruel and disgusting, he destroyed the remainder of his sanity?

Isn't it funny, how much Geno!Sans, the original one suffered, getting pulled from his own AU, becoming THIS?"

I start sobbing. This is Geno!Sans? The very first one I made?! Oh my stars, what the fuck have I done?! How could I not know there was a Balance?!

Error's PoV:

I hear loud sobbing in front of me as someone reads my soul's CHECK box. Is Ink finally realizing that there's a Balance?

I look up, wincing. Yep, it's Ink. Everything is out of focus, blurry, and I have to squint, but it's definitely Ink. Oh stars.

I summon a portal with the last of my magic, falling through it. I lay on the ground, finally sobbing and crying.

The voices just amplify my agony. I can't take this, after an hour of sobbing.

"I HATE MYSELF!" I scream, no glitches. "I HATE EVERY BONE OF MY BODY! I HATE EVERY MOMENT I LIVE! WHY?! WHY AM I BEING FORCED TO KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE?!"

I don't even notice that the Star Sanses are watching me break down. I don't even notice that Ink's eye lights aren't there.

"FUCK IT! I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF! MAYBE THAT'LL TEACH THEM THAT I CAN'T HANDLE THIS ANYMORE! MAYBE THEN THEY'LL APPRECIATE ME! MAYBE THEN THEY'LL REALIZE THERES A FUCKIN BALANCE TO THE MULTIVERSE!" I scream.

I start sobbing again. I know I have to jump into the Void to truly die. I really, truly despise myself.

Ink finally speaks. "Error."

I freeze. He's in here with me? How much did he hear? Does he even really care? Will he just mock me?

He looks so morbidly sad. I shiver. What does he care about, it's not like he'll give a damn if I'm gone.

"I CHECKed your soul. I know your real name, Error. I know your backstory. I know how much you're suffering," he says.

I start sobbing again. He knows who I am?! That much was in my CHECK box?! Stuff even I don't know about?!

He sighs. "Don't kill yourself. Please. If what I'm thinking is right, if you die, the whole multiverse will die too."

Is that the only reason he cares?

"No, that's not the only reason I give a damn. I'll be stuck in a state of depression. The only person I've ever hurt, dead because I'm a terrible person. I... I really am an idiot."

"Shut up," I mumble. My voice cracks. He frowns, tearing up. "Error, please," Ink whispers.

I start laughing and crying. Nobody would actually care. I immediately create and jump into a portal, landing in Outertale.

I sigh, crying still. Nobody dares to talk to me as I approach the end of a cliff. Not until Ink finds me a few steps away from the edge.

"ERROR! GET AWAY FROM THE VOID!" Ink yells, his voice cracking slightly with agony. I'm surprised that he even found me.

Ink's PoV:

I find Error a few steps away from the Void cliff. My breathing stops for a second until I yell.

"ERROR! GET AWAY FROM THE VOID!" My voice cracks a little, and I tremble with sorrow. Error, don't kill yourself...

He stops, turning around and donning the most shaky grin I've ever seen. "S-shut up, i-ink blot. I-i'm doing i-it, and you can't s-stop me." My face falls.

"Error," I say sadly. "Get away from the Void." He just grins wider, but it's still shaking. "Goodbye, Inky." Wait- does he love me-?

"WAIT-!" I yell, and then he walks off the edge. My tears erupt from my eye sockets. I immediately run quickly to the edge, holding his stupid hand down. He looks shocked.

He smiles. "Ink, let go of my hand. I need to die." "N-no, please don't let g-go," I mumble, my tears running down my cheeks quickly.

I start sobbing. I don't want him to die. I start pulling him up from the Void. "Ink, please," he whispers. I pull him up completely, and he collides into me, knocking us down.

Shit. We're in a really awkward position now. I push him off, careful to not make him fall back into the Void. I'm probably a deep rainbow color.

"N-never do that again, you fucking i-idiot," I mumble. He freezes when I call him an idiot, fuck, I did something wrong again. "S-sorry! I didn't mean to insult you!" You did a complete 180 from how you were acting a few hours ago.

"... Ink."

"Y-yeah?" I mumble, still probably a rainbow color. "Why are you acting weird? Usually you're violent." I freeze completely. What do I say, 'Oh I saw your CHECK box so now I'm really concerned and possibly love you?' Hell no!

"Uhhh... I'm just.. I got concerned about you when I had read the CHECK box."

His face looks so blank. God, weird. "Ink, you care about me, right?"

I say yes. Of course I do! He starts crying again, apparently never having anyone to care about him. I pat his back lightly, already knowing about his haphephobia. He glitches a bit, but besides that, he's fine with it.

Stars, I feel so bad about doing this. He probably hates me. I wouldn't be mad if he did.

Then he hugs me. My face warms up drastically, and it's all I can take not to get him off. He mumbles something into the side of my torso. I don't even wanna ask what he said, he obviously doesn't wanna say.

He looks up, blushing a deep yellow. "S-sorry..." he mumbles. I think of something, my eyes widening.

"Error, can we make a truce?"

[ladyarkytiorofdunans]

Hi. Sorry I'm having some sort of crisis and wanted some... reassurance I guess? I feel like trash for having a crush on characters that don't even exist. Since you are an x reader author could you give me your opinion? Sorry.

There is NOTHING wrong with fictional crushes. People have been falling in love with fictional characters for centuries. Having strong feelings for a fictional character means that the author and/or actor behind the character have done a good job of bringing that character to life. 

Crushing on a fictional character is no different from crying when something sad happens to a character in a movie, or feeling joyful when something happy happens to a character in a show. 

These are forms of empathy and sympathy. Experiencing those things means that you’re a kind and caring person. 

As long as you keep in mind that they are fictional characters, there’s nothing wrong with a crush. Just don’t let yourself become so enamored with fictional people that you’re not socializing with real people at all.

Some of my friends in Middle School and High School would pick on me for the fact that I didn’t have (and had never had) a boyfriend before. But I was okay with that. I would stick to fantasizing about fictional characters who wouldn’t hurt me or betray me while they dealt with pre-teen and teen relationship drama. 

There’s nothing wrong with having a “relationship” with a fictional character so long as it’s not replacing a healthy relationship with a real person. But I personally think I was better off because I was content with healthy fictional relationships instead of trying to force real relationships that would have ended up being unhealthy.

As a show of solidarity, allow me to list just a few of the fictional crushes I’ve had over the years:

Gaara (Naruto)Kiba (Naruto)Zoro (One Piece)Kurama (Yu Yu Hakusho)Kenpachi (Bleach)Sesshomaru (Inuyasha)Kyo (Fruits Basket)Morinozuka Takashi (Ouran High School Host Club)Sans (Undertale)Sans (Underfell)Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean)Legolas (Lord of the Rings)Nightcrawler (X men)Jak (Jak and Daxter)Jack Skellington (Nightmare Before Christmas)Dante (Devil May Cry)Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me)Riku (Kingdom Hearts)Axel (Kingdom Hearts)Loki (MCU)Garrus Vakarian (Mass Effect Trilogy)Eddie Brock (Venom)Seth Clearwater (Twilight)Draco Malfoy (Harry Potter)Alistair (Dragon Age: Origins)Fenris (Dragon Age 2)The Iron Bull (Dragon Age Inquisition)

Just to name a few

YOU MATTER! And you know what? Your fictional crush KNOWS that you matter! Don’t ever let anyone ever tell you differently!

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Playing hide and go seek in DARK OUTSIDE TAG

The skeletons are looking for the others and they hear something above them look up S/o and another skeleton are in a tree,

Undertale Sans - You desperately try to shush Papyrus as Sans stops under your tree. He looks up, clearly seeing you two. He calls you out, and then... leave. You gasp, offended. He saw Papyrus. You know he saw Papyrus, he met eyes with him! But Sans assures you he didn't see anything. You highly suspect he did that for Papyrus to win the game. Dirty cheater.

Undertale Papyrus - You get betrayed. As soon as Sans notices his brother is struggling to find people, he puts a hand on your shoulder, gives you an apologetic look and then pushes you off the tree lmao. You crash at Papyrus' feet, confused. Sorry not sorry. Papyrus quickly finds Sans, who looks very surprised and won't stop congratulating his brother for his hard work. You're so mad.

Underswap Sans - He doesn't know how to tell his brother and his S/O he actually spotted minutes ago because the tree you both chose has no leaf anymore. So he pretended he didn't see you until he got bored and just called you out. You are completely oblivious to how he found you out so suddenly.

Underswap Papyrus - It was purely by luck. That's half an hour and he found no one. It's only as he let go a long sigh that he accidentally found you two. Blue is a bad loser and immediately says it's your fault. Honey could defend you, but it would mean telling Blue his hiding space was actually good and flattering his ego, so yeah, he is very skilled, what are you going to do?!

Underfell Sans - Red smiles like a shark. His brother said he would never find them being an eternal loser, but here he is. Not only he dragged Undyne out of her hole ten minutes ago, but now he caught him! He's so damn proud! Edge is very not on the contrary, and immediately starts to scream at you, saying you're the reason he lost because humans are so loud they could rivalize with a herd of elephants! You answer back that maybe if he stopped laughing maniacally every time Red passed under them without seeing them that would have helped as well. Edge screams, mad.

Underfell Papyrus - Well of course he found them. Red can't stop screaming at you because you're scared to fall so you're crushing his ribs. Red is trashing around, trying to make you let go... And biting your arm at full force. This triggered Edge's protective instincts. He grabs his brother's legs and drags him on the floor. And then the brothers start to fight, as you cheer for Edge to kick his brother's butt.

Horrortale Sans - You wait for long hours. Long, long hours. Willow is hiding behind the trees, looking at you tied on a branch, and you start to be a little worried. After one hour, you give up and come home, only to realize Oak is in his bed, sleeping lol. He forgot what he was doing in the middle of the forest and went to sleep immediately, thinking he got disoriented. You could have waited a very long time.

Horrortale Papyrus - At some point, Oak forgets you exist and then gets surprised when he sees you next to him, then he panics because he's in a tree, and then he attacks you. You runs for your life, Oak chasing you, right in front of a very confused Willow who thought you two were supposed to hide? Willow is not sure what he can do to help you. It's not like he can run after you, you know.

Swapfell Sans - It's not very difficult honestly. He has a very good sense of smell and Rus smells like trash. So yeah, it takes him less than a minute to find you. That's when Rus says he's not going to surrender and takes you as a hostage, before teleporting out of here. Nox just sighs. He's done. He gives up on you and goes to sleep. You feel so betrayed. You thought he was supposed to protect you!

Swapfell Papyrus - So, you kinda imposed your presence on Nox. He thought he found the perfect hiding place and didn't plan for you to follow him. As he not so delicately yeet you out of the tree, you let out a loud scream, that immediately alerts Rus of your position. You smile at Nox, as you clearly did it on purpose. But as Rus catches on you, you roll in the bushes to hide. Nox is the only one getting caught, and he's so mad about this, screaming his brother is bad on purpose because he wants you to win and that he's going to blow your cover! But as he pushes the bushes... You're gone. You've used his monologue as a distraction to find another hiding place. Rus is mocking his brother, who is slowly losing his mind and swears he better not find you because you're going to regret it. He dramatically stomps out of the way, as Rus casually says he knows where you were the whole time and said nothing just to watch his brother lose it.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He's not very enthusiastic. He swears he's doing it only for his brother actually. He's bored, and the game is kinda pointless because he can easily feels the souls around him and kinda hunt everyone down in two minutes. He spots you two in the tree in the first seconds and just tells to his brother that if he wants to win next time maybe he should not stay with a stinking human. You gasp, offended. You're HIS stinky human, he can't treat you like that!

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - Poor poor Coffee. It's painful to watch. Coffee is terrible at that game and he's scared of the dark. His anxiety is clearly rising as he's panicking, looking everywhere frantically. You ask Wine if you shouldn't show up, but Wine says that he won't lose facing Alphys and that if he loses because you talked to him, there will only be a dead body to bring back home. You're: terrified. Because of Wine, the game won't stop before dawn until an exhausted Coffee sits down, giving up, and accidentally see you two above him.

[hoodie-lover]

Master Post

UNDERTALE

In progress

Testing

Medium PG-13, unethical experimentation, implied murder, emotional/mental abuse, physical abuse, child abuse, evil Sans and Papyrus, nice Flowey, not Underfell, graphic torture

Palette and Goth Sitting in a Tree

PG-13, light swearing, cute kids, young love, things will be coming, scary sights, Goth is a brat, Dream is a very strict parent and very protective, Ink is an idiot

One-shots/Complete

My Multiverse

Heavy PG-13, swearing, sex jokes, implied sex, near rape, torture, brainwashing, mind control, drug use, implied possession, fluff in between angst

Ironic Accusations

Light PG-13, brainwashing, implied abusive relationship, platonic and toxic brotherly love, Nightmare isn’t corrupted but is a huge *sshole to Dream, he was evil all along

Conspiring

Light PG-13, brainwashing, mind control, breaking bones, double agents, Dream is nuts

In Love

General audiences, fluff and angst, making up somewhat, falling out of love, minor character death, traumatized children

Papyrus Amongst Genocide

Teen and up audiences, Attempted Murder, Genocide Route, Faked Death, absorbing souls, Angst, Painful Death, Sad Papyrus , Sad Sans, Worried Sans, Sad Ending

King Papyrus

Gen fic, Post-Undertale Neutral Route - King Papyrus Ending, Worried Papyrus (Undertale), Give up giving up, new fallen human, human monster interactions, Papyrus is a good king, Sans is scarily efficient at rooting out corruption, Hopeful Ending

Poor Unfortunate Souls Nightmare Edition

PG, Song Parody, Disney Parody, Nightmare is creepy, Cross is desperate, Poor unfortunate souls, Soul Selling, Ursula!Nightmare, Ariel!Cross, Flotsam and Jetsome!Killer and Dust, 

A Friend Like Me Ink Edition 

G, Disney, Disney Songs, Song Parody, Disney Parody, Genie!Ink, Zack Maxie and Beatrice are all in place of Aladdin, I tried my best with the descriptions, i can't tag, Not Beta Read. We Die Like Men, Broomy is the rug and lamp

Be Prepared Nightmare Edition

Disney, Disney Songs, Parody, Song Parody, Scar!Nightmare, Monsters are hyenas, Undyne has regrets

Berry’s Little Secret

PG-13, Good and Evil, Secret Relationship, Secret Children, Spying, Blue is a spy, Not by choice, either that or his child is killed, Nightmare is a dick, Fake Marriage, Dustberry

Cancelled/Unfinished

My Multiverse Ask Event - Moved to another blog - Update here

It’s an ask event. Tags for My Multiverse apply ( Heavy PG-13, swearing, sex jokes, implied sex, near rape, torture, brainwashing, mind control, drug use, implied possession, fluff in between angst) plus memes and wholesomeness.

Credit - Please Read

Undertale - toby_Fox

HorrorTale - Sour-Apple-Studios 

ErrorSans, GenoSans, FreshSans - @loverofpiggies

Dream and Nightmare - @jokublog

DustSans - @ask-dusttale (Please tell me if I am wrong)

KillerSans - @rahafwabas

Underfell - Community

Underswap - Community

InkSans - @myebi (apologies for character assassination)

SwapFell - Community (Not sure please tell me if I am wrong)

OuterTale - @2mi127

ScienceTale - Not sure please tell me

Cross - @xtaleunderverse @jakei95

ReaperTale - @renrink

Sprinkle - @6agentgg9

Goth - @nekophy

Palette - @angexci 

Let me know if I missed anyone or credited the wrong person! 

I am so sorry it took me this long to add this. I am a trash human being.

I put this here so I would not have to add this to every post (70+) and you can get to all of them from here, so it shouldn’t be a problem, tell me if it is.

[undertaleheadcannonsfromagremlin]

(Sorry for flooding your inbox) Okay, so we know that the skeletons don’t know much about the human body, so this is gonna be interesting; US/UF/UT sans basically waking up to their female S/O crying in pain and sprinting out of the bedroom and then they see a massive bloodstain on the mattress. They freak out and assume their S/O is badly injured, until she gives an embarrassing explanation as to what’s happening. That’s how they learn what a period is.

Haha, this is totally different from what mine consists of (aka me taking too many showers and just trash talking my friends even more when I play games with them lol)

Sans (Undertale Sans)- Inner panic, that stuff is supposed to be on the inside, wasn’t it? He follows them into the bathroom, and checks on them. When they cringe and say it was a human female problem, he may have a questionable look on his face, before they tell him more about it. Oh… Well, he reassures his s/o that they shouldn’t be embarrassed if it was natural, and leaves them in the bathroom to relax, he cleans up the bedding covered in blood, and he does the laundry, surprisingly. He’s understanding in this matter, and doesn’t bat a nonexistent eye at ensuring his s/o is comfortable through this time. 

Blue (Underswap Sans)- After learning about that, he’s cleaning up after his s/o, and getting them some snacks, and looking more into this human female thing. He ensures that they drink often, because that apparently makes the pain/bloating lesser. He’s also getting then healthy, yet satisfying snacks to help their cravings, because he knows that this sensitive time might make them feel more self conscious. 

Red (Underfell Sans)- He treats his s/o no differently, its only natural, right? He’s making sure that they’re comfortable, getting them a heating pad, some pain meds, anything they needed to make this extremely comfortable. And he’s probably massaging them to the point where they nearly fall asleep every time. Oh boy, his s/o is loving this now. 

[redvelvetreel]

Red Velvet Reel 11.1: Amorfino

Pairing: [Married] Spicyhoney (Underfell Papyrus x Underswap Papyrus)

Summary: Edge can't take it anymore, Stretch loses it, they kinda make up, and there's a cool new distraction that helps everyone move on.

Characters: Stretch (Underswap Papyrus) & Edge (Underfell Papyrus)

Contains: Mpreg/Skelepreg!  Mood swings! Very eager to please Stretch and very confused Edge! Domestic Fluff! Arguments and misunderstandings and tears that are eventually resolved!

Rating: Teen and up! (I guess?)

Note: Direct continuation of Hiper-Billirubinado set a day or two after the last incident. An Amorfino is a form of popular song and short poem that blends romance with humor. Its an oral tradition based on improvisation of the Montubios, the mestizo people of the coastal countryside of Ecuador, particularly in the province of Manabí. Amorfinos are an important cultural tradition, and I’ve translated one into English below. :)

Allá arriba, en ese cerro,             Upon that hill so high, tengo una cajita de oro                Is a little golden bin, donde guardo mis suspiros         Where my every tear and sigh, y las lágrimas que lloro.               Is safely stored within.

This parentMOOD stuff was so weird. Stretch had watched Edge tidy up the kitchen after dinner hundreds of times, and it was usually a pretty boring, unremarkable chore. He never lingered before, because his husband was too fastidious to make it interesting.

So, watching Edge try to get a grape out from under the fridge shouldn’t have been that engrossing. But he was there for the full 20 minutes, clapping politely when his husband finally managed to grab it. Yay-

“Why are you still here?!” Edge demanded, holding the grape like a projectile. “Just to make fun of me?!”

“I wasn’t!” Stretch cringed preemptively, “Don’t grape me!”

“Cojudo!” Edge sighed in annoyance, but there was faint rustling from the trash can. Safe, for now. “What is your problem?!”

Maybe his husband wasn’t holding a grape anymore, but that sharp tone and obvious annoyance were gonna make Stretch break into a cold sweat. “There’s no problem!” He tapped at the doorway in a tuneless, stressed rhythm, “I was just wanted to see if you needed any help! Sorry if that bothered you-“

“Don’t act dumb with me!” Edge crossed his arms defiantly, giving him a positively withering glare, “You have been weird ever since you went to coffee with Blue and Red! Without me!”

“I have not! And I just didn’t want to bother you when you were resting!” Had he gone a little over the top with the comfort and reassurance thing? All he had been trying to do was prove to Edge how much he was loved and cherished! When was he going to get a break around here?! “You’re stressing over nothing, Babe!”

“Nothing?!” Scoffing in obvious disbelief, Edge threw his hands up to gesture towards their entire apartment, “Then what’s with all flowers and chocolates and cards and songs!? The hugs and kisses and massages!“

“Gifts!” Stretch was flabbergasted, “Is the fact you’re my dearly beloved husband  not ‘motive’ enough for spoiling you a little? Pancake is obvious taking a toll on you, and I just want you to be happy!”

“I am happy!” Edge yelled angrily like someone who was not very happy at all. “But this is bribery! What did you do?! Or what didn’t you do?!”

“Nothing! And everything?!” Stretch thought back very hard, but there was nothing he could confess. He was terrible at keeping secrets, and the only thing that weighed heavily on his conscience was that whole will-death debacle. “I didn’t do anything bad! There’s nothing weird about me!”

“You’re not supposed to be keeping secrets from me!” Edge slammed his hands on the counter, looking more upset than before, “You promised me you were always going to be honest-”

"You’re the one who’s not being honest!” Stretch hated how his voice broke on that last syllable, feeling a familiar burn in the corner of his sockets, “You’re supposed to be honest and open with me! I’m supposed to help you with all your problems! I’m not-“

He rubbed at his sockets, “I don’t want to be a problem! I don’t want to make you sad!”

“I...” Edge looked so lost and worried and concerned it sent a pang through his heart. He sobbed into his hands miserably as his husband’s voice wavered in alarm, “I didn’t say any of that?!”

He stopped right in front of Stretch, looking very much like he wanted to touch him but unsure if it was a good idea, “I didn’t mean-” Stretch made the choice for him by gathering him up in his arms like a teddy bear.

“I’m sorry, Papí,” Edge said again, softly but with conviction, as he gently pet the back of his head.  He kept the other around his husband’s shoulders in a protective hug. “You’re not a problem,” Punctuated by a gentle but firm little shake, “You’ve been very thoughtful and kind, and I have enjoyed the attention and presents. Thank you, they made me very happy.”

He ran his fingers along his neck, massaging every vertebrae, “I didn’t think I needed your help with the grape. It just made me nervous.” His words became a little less sure, “But if you could help me with, uh, dusting the, uh, top of the microwave- I mean, the refrigerator-“

“No,” Stretch kept his face burrowed against his husband’s chest, grip tight on the sweater. At least he managed to get all those tears out of his system. He felt kind of numb now. “It’s not that.”

“Then what?” Edge asked gently, a nervous undertone to his voice, “I didn’t lie about being very happy with your very nice gifts-”

“It’s not about the stuff!” Stretch  was starting to get annoyed now, glaring up at his husband, “I don’t care about any of it! If you love it or hate it, that’s fine- I can give it back to the store or get more or whatever! It’s just stuff- I care about you!”

“I...” Edge patted his back in obvious appeasement, although he was still tense and unsure, “I care about you, too-“

“Stop telling me what you think I want to hear!” Stretch tore himself free from the suddenly suffocating hold, backing up until he was against the counter. “Tell me how you really feel!”

“It’s true!“ Edge started to protest, browbones furrowed in consternation as he took a step back, “I don’t understand-”

“Obviously!” Stretch cursed himself for not having a firmer grip on his temper, shaking his head hard enough something rattled. Okay. He started pacing to burn off the nervous, angry energy, pushing his frustration deep, deep down. Okay okay okay. He had to think rationally and calmly- Edge was starting to look at him like he was a hungry lion or something.

“I just!” He waited until he was sure he wasn’t going to start yelling again, “I just... I need you to answer this honestly for me, Edge!”

Stretch looked at his husband’s face with growing insecurity, mouth pulled into a nervous grimace, “Cause I have just been stressing and stressing about this and it’s driving me out of my mind!”

“...Ok.” Edge finally said at length, arms crossed over his stomach and a nervous tension to his posture, “What?”

“Do you hate living here in Underswap? Do you want to go home to Underfell? Do you regret coming here?”

Edge looked completely flabbergasted, opening and closing his mouth as though he had been asked to explain the finer details of the Core’s magical processes. “...Wha-”

Stretch scrubbed at his skull, trying to keep his tone from getting too agitated, “Are you happy... being with me? Having our kid? Just... satisfied with... you know, the way everything has been going? Is everything good?” He started pacing again, “Cause if it’s not good, if I’m no good, I need you to tell me so I can become good for you, and so Pancake will think I’m good, too. So, please tell me if you’re honestly happy and I’m doing good-”

“Yes.” That simple, firm answer threw him for a loop.

“But...” That was exactly what he wanted to hear and everything he had been hoping Edge would say- why wasn’t he satisfied with it?! “Don’t you miss Underfell? Don’t you want to go home? I heard you talking to Comic...”

“Yes.” Before he could react to that admission, Edge took his hand gently. Still gave Stretch enough space so he wouldn’t feel trapped, but close enough to be physically reassuring. “Of course I miss Underfell. And I won’t lie to you: some days I wish I could go back.”

Edge put his husband’s hand on his chest, right above his soul. “But.” He kept his own hand there, warm and reassuring, “If I did not want to be here, I would not have come. And I would not stay.”

Stretch’s hand was close enough to his husband’s soul that he could feel the intent- not emotionally or magically like he was used to, but physically. It was a strange, feather-light sensation on the tips of his fingers and his palm, kind of like what he assumed a heartbeat would feel like... but it penetrated deep into his own soul, like the emotions and intent were his own. It was more than a little dizzying.

“This is my home.” Certainty. “This is where I belong.” Happiness. “This is where I want to be.” Satisfaction. “This is where my future is, with my stupid but still charming husband that I love because he makes me happy more often than angry.“ Love. “And this is where our babybones is going to grow up-” Hope.

That broke him, and whatever composure Stretch had left snapped. “I’m so sorry,” He sobbed, embarrassingly loud and wet, burying his face right back into Edge’s chest. It was still faintly damp from earlier, but Edge held him close again as though he didn’t really mind it. His hubby was the absolute best. “I was just so scared-“

“It’s okay.” Edge nuzzled against the top of his skull with obvious affection, “But now you know.” There was a silent pause, but Stretch heard the ‘What you always should have always known, dumbass’ loud and clear. “I’m not going to leave you to go back to Underfell. So calm down. Stop... doing all this. Acting like this. Please.”

Stretch nodded, trying to regulate his breathing, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you or stress you out.”

He wiped at his eyes as he sniffled loudly, “I just feel like this parentMOOD is getting worse and worse, like I’m losing my mind to these stupid mood swings. I wish I didn’t feel this way, but I don’t know how to stop, Pap. Near you, away from you, alone or with friends- when is this going to stop?”

“Well. We’ll see the Doctor tomorrow. I’ll ask her to take a look at you too, see if she can help you calm down.” Edge pat Stretch’s head like he might a dog, gently pulling away to start rummaging in a nearby cupboard. “For now, let me make you some tea. That should help you relax.”

“I’m so sorry for all this. Pancake is really doing a number on me-“ Stretch rubbed at his cheeks guiltily, “Oh, did I ever explain that to you? Do you even know what’s going on? Aw man, I’m sorry, I’m the worst. Red didn’t know what it was so maybe-“

“I understand,” Edge shushed him quietly, guiding him into a chair, “Blue explained to me about it, and I looked it up on the Pregnancy HUD. Just concentrate on calming.”

“Uh?” Stretch pulled his legs against his chest, resting his chin on his knees. Edge would have to forgive his feet on the chair this once. “Ok. You looked it up on the what?”

“Um,” Edge went about filling the kettle with water before putting it on the stove, “The Pregnancy HUD. The Baby Monitor? Whatever, there’s a program that’s like a book on monster pregnancy. It’s the square with the little squares.”

“Chuta!” He sighed, bringing down a black mug with multicolor bones on it. That was a favorite, a gift from old Fluffers himself. “I don’t have any Manzanís tea, but I got some of this ‘Chamomile’ from your King. It’s a human plant, but it’s supposed to be soothing-”

“I’ll drink anything you give me, darlin’,” Stretch told him honestly, watching his husband squirt a really extra generous amount of honey into the mug. He must still be really worried. “But I have no idea what you’re talking about, Babe. It’s not the dating HUD?”

“No...” Edge looked like he had something more to say, but just then the kettle started whistling, “I’ll show it to you-“

Stretch barely managed to bite back a warning as Edge grabbed it without an oven mitt. It was.... it was too much to expect his husband to use an oven mitt for pouring tea, right?

“I will show you the pregnancy HUD-“ Edge was definitely getting annoyed again, a warning edge to his voice, “If you stop being so exaggerated.”

He put the steaming mug in front of Stretch, putting his hands on his hips, “Pancake is in charge of your emotions, but you are in charge of how you act on them. I’m not going to hold the Intent against you- only your ACTS.”

That was... fair. Okay. He could keep it together for the rest of the night, probably. “I’ll... do my best. Sorry-“

“And stop apologizing!” Edge huffed as he sat himself down directly in Stretch’s lap, leaning back against his husband’s chest. Well. If he was still mad, he wouldn’t sit on him, right?

Slowly, Stretch wrapped his arms around Edge’s waist to rest lightly on the ectostomach. A lot of conflicting emotions hit him at once, so he just rested his chin on his husband’s shoulder. And gave the Souling a little squeeze.

“We’ll plan better for our next child,” Edge told him kindly, patting his hands before putting a hand over his own soul and pressing down-

“Wooaaaah?!”

[sleepyfan-blog]

Angst prompt 3 Hearts +your choice

Hearts glared at his boyfriend, his arms folded at his chest as he stared at Red, decidedly unimpressed. “Didn’t we already talk about this, Red?” He was disappointed to see his boyfriend up to his armpits in empty mustard bottles, half-squinting at him where he stood in the doorway to their apartment.

“I’ll be better! I swear!” Red promised a bit of an embarrassed blush appearing on his face as he sat up straight, the trash that had accumulated on him sliding off at the movement.

Hearts had been visiting his younger brother Desire and his datemates for a week, and part of him had rather expected to see their place in such an awful state, though he’d hoped otherwise. Hearts couldn’t help but snap “Well stop swearing and be better!” It wasn’t the first time that the other had promised this, and Hearts was frustrated by the other’s utter lack of progress. Stars above, he knew that he wasn’t a saint either, but at least he was trying to be better.

“I… I know. It’s just… I miss you when you’re gone and… I got dragged into another one of Ink’s bullshit fights against the dark forces of the multiverse and needed a lotta food to recover. Then I fell asleep and I didn’t wake up until you came in, babe.” Red explained, not quite looking at his boyfriend as he spoke. The Underfell monster had been awake periodically to eat more before falling asleep… He just really hadn’t wanted to clean up. Now it had come to bite him in the ass.

“And I keep telling you to make him find someone who can heal your dumb asses. I can heal you to a certain extent - and I would have teleported home long enough to fix you up if you’d have called or texted me… Or at least given you some energy so that you wouldn’t have to live in a sea of your own trash for… At least three days.”

There was a healer, but Red wasn’t supposed to talk about Ink’s new acquisition to the team. Goldie was as cute and pure as they came and Hearts… Red loved his boyfriend, he really did, but he was unsure as to how Hearts would react to him, and there was no need to overwhelm the kid with someone so handsy. Goldie had been able to open a portal for them when a half-dozen asshole sanses showed up to jump on them after they managed to get Error to fuck off, and he’d patched them up so that they wouldn’t die before Ink grabbed the kid and bundled him off elsewhere. “I… Sorry babe… My phone got smashed in the battle, otherwise I would have called you.” And that was the truth - honest to Asgore.

Hearts sighed, shaking his head a little as he walked over to his mustard-stained mess of a boyfriend, checking him over, and frowning a little “… You’re still low on MP. Just what sort of fight did you get into this time?”

Red grinned as he talked about the fight, waving his hands in the air animatedly as he explained about the New And Mysterious Assholes.

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Drifters ch.7 (spicyhoney)

Summary: Edge and Red have a brotherly dispute. It goes great.

Tags: Spicyhoney, Violence, Rescued Child, Medical Experimentation, Babybones

Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

Edge had gone long nights without sleep before. As a child, he’d often spent the night curled up with his brother in hidden corners and caves, struggling for any measure of warmth beneath threadbare blankets as they both kept half-awake listening for any telltale footsteps coming their way.

As an adult, he often stayed awake on his own accord. There was always work to be done, whether for the guard or simple housekeeping, and he subsisted on no more than four hours of sleep a night. It was sufficient to replenish his magic and that was all that was necessary. Armed with that knowledge, it made it very difficult to understand why caring for an infant throughout a single night seemed so much worse.

Every two hours, she woke crying for a bottle, with enough accuracy he could nearly set a clock by it. It would start with a whimper and before Edge could even throw back the blankets, her screams would reach their peak earsplitting volume. Even Stretch couldn’t sleep through those wails and the first two times, he’d been the one to stagger downstairs for a bottle. Edge was certain on the last occasion he never opened his eye sockets, and he was torn on whether teleporting in the midst of exhaustion was more or less a danger than the chance he might fall down the stairs.

Rather than test that theory, Edge went to heat the bottle the next time and if he’d thought trying to comfort the baby while waiting for her meal to arrive was difficult, standing over a pot of water trying to will it to heat faster was somehow worse. At least he could attempt to reason with a baby, physics obeyed no rules but their own.

Each time she would drain the bottle and then immediately fall back asleep. The logistics of it were so simple, retrieve bottle, feed baby, then back to sleep. She didn’t even require a diaper change like so many other infants would, so why was this so blasted exhausting. His current belief was that somehow her cry drained energy like some sort of localized version of a vampiric spell and next time he was determined to run a check on himself to ascertain the truth.

But that would have to wait until they’d all gotten some rest. After her last bottle, not only had the chore of washing it out immediately after use been abandoned, so had tucking her into her own bed. In his sleep-deprived state, Edge decided that if she slept by the wall with him between her and Stretch, then she would be safe from being squashed in the night. As a strategy it did work, for about an hour, until Stretch rolled over in his sleep, right off the edge of the mattress to the floor with a loud thump and a louder curse.

Edge managed to wake up enough to check that he hadn’t accidently dusted himself in the fall and then promptly fell back asleep. The child hadn’t woken, that was the important part, and he could only hope that sleeping children didn’t learn foul language through some form of mental osmosis.

When he woke again, it wasn’t to the baby’s cries, but a stream of artificial sunlight coming through the curtains to fall across his face. He cringed away from it, but it was too late. The light was like the angel’s finger poking him directly in the socket, the time for sleep was over, and now he needed to face the harsh light of day.

A bleary look to one side found the bed empty and what remained of the blankets looked as if a tornado struck, not of trash, but one made up of baby’s tears.

Edge peered over the side of the mattress to find Stretch still snoring on the floor. Sleep was perhaps a less accurate description than out cold, he looked as if an alarm clock set atop his skull wouldn’t wake him. On the floor under his mouth was a darkened patch of drool, he was half-tangled in one of the blankets with one bare leg sprawled out across the carpet, toes curling against the cool air, and he did not stir one single inch despite the loudly creaking bedsprings. Plus, the light couldn’t reach him down there. Edge allowed himself a brief instant of rueful resentment before rolling to the other side to deal with the child, who over the course of the evening dwindled from Stretch affectionately calling her a ‘little snow princess’ down to the simply ‘the kid’.

“It’s all right, child, he’ll do better after some rest,” Edge said blearily…to no one at all. The sheet next to him was empty and for a moment, Edge only stared at it uncomprehendingly, cold panic slowly settling in his soul at the unbearable nightmare that was unfolding before him. That Alphys had found them out and come for her, the machine not destroyed enough and instead the portal was lying wide open like a gaping wound as not one, but an army of Underfell Monsters came through.

He shook away that fear before it could take root, dismissing it as impossible. To begin with, her first step would have been to murder them as they slept. Casting aside that panic only allowed a new one to take its place, the mystery of ‘then where is she’ still unanswered.

She was too young to have crawled away, she was nowhere in the room, so that left one last possibility. Edge clambered out of the bed, stepping over Stretch’s prone body as he jerked on the bathrobe and headed out to find his brother.

Who was sitting peaceably on the sofa with his pilfered infant settled contentedly in his lap, staring up at him with wide sockets as her chubby cheek bones puffed out with every suck on her bottle.

Red didn’t even look up as Edge stormed down to stand in front of him. The fury of his glares had never been able to penetrate much through Red’s aura of casual ease. His brother was humming softly, a song that Edge knew the lyrics to quite well and could at least be grateful that Red didn’t choose to share them with the child.

“’bout time you got up, bro,” Red said, singsong sweet. He was laying back against the sofa arm with the baby cradled between his knees. “you was sleepin’ pretty hard up there. kiddo was awake and getting’ ready to start complaining’ when i came in to play fetch.” His tone was easy, but Edge did not miss the sharp censure in his glance, crimson eye lights coolly assessing.

“I wouldn’t count on it happening again,” Edge said coldly. He met his brother’s gaze unflinchingly, waiting until his brother slowly nodded. Apology accepted, as it were, and Red turned his attention back to the baby.

“this little miss is a hungry one.” He gave the bottle an idle tug, grinning as the baby made a querulous noise and clung to it, never pausing in her urgent sucking. “drinks her weight and then some, don’t she. you were the same way, never could scrape up enough chow to keep you happy.” It was fondly said, but Edge only barely kept himself from wincing. He didn’t want to remember days of going hungry, the gnawing, endless emptiness inside his soul, wanted even less to picture the same thing happening to this child.

(never, never, he wouldn’t allow it, he would not)

“I doubt that will change anytime soon. Speaking of which, if you could watch over her, I’ll be going out today.”

“huh?” That got his brother’s attention. “what the fuck for?”

“To find a job of some sort, to begin with,” Edge said, “We can hardly expect the Swap brothers’ to keep paying our way.” He didn’t have the first clue what formula cost, but he suspected that it was not cheap.

“fuck, bro, we’ve been here two minutes and you’re already polishin’ your resume?” Red groaned. “take a day to get settled in, fer cryin’ out loud!”

“There’s no time for that. I was also going to go to the librarby to find a book on childrearing—”

He broke off as Red hooted a harsh laugh. “you serious, bro? you think you’re gonna find an old copy of ‘what to expect with your skele-baby’s first year’? gonna set up some training time with the local moms, mebbe they can teach you their special parenting attacks. you’ll be captain of the childrearing guild in no time, bro, better start working on your uniform now.”

“You—” Edge began and couldn’t continue, only stood listening mutely as his brother’s laughter soured, his words going bitter.

“think i fucked up that bad with you, is that it?”

It wasn’t at all true. He knew very well that his brother did the best he could, he’d been a child himself, he never should have had to help with an infant. He knew that, they both did, but the words refused to come. Before either of them could say another word, spiteful or otherwise, another voice entered the fray, sleep-sodden and mellow.

“you two loud enough down here?” From upstairs and Edge looked up to see Stretch ambling down the stairs, still yawning and rubbing at his sockets. He was only wearing a pair of shorts, the rest of his lanky bones on display from the crown of his skull to his bare toes, and he had no right to look as simply attractive as he did despite the darkened crescents beneath his sockets.

“sorry, sleeping beauty,” Red snorted, “next time we’ll work on our charades instead, how’s this ta start?”

Stretch ignored Red’s upraised middle finger, slouching closer to peer at the baby. “where did the jammies come from?”

Red jerked his head towards the front door where a paper sack was slumped by the various shoes. “your doggo pal dropped off some clothes. didn’t seem to know what to make of me, think maybe he decided blue went for a big fashion change.”

“bet he’ll appreciate hearing about going goth at the next sentry meeting.”

The mention of pajamas made Edge take a closer look at the child. He’d been so relieved to see the baby was safe that he hadn’t even noticed her change in apparel. She looked like a proper baby now, from the cozy footie pajamas to the colorful bib around her neck. The bottle was long since empty, but she hadn’t yet surrendered on the off chance that perhaps a few last drops might yet make an appearance.

Stretch didn’t wait for her to give up on it and simply took it away, scooping her up despite Red’s disgruntled protests, and cuddled her close. “lookin’ good, sugar butt!”

He buzzed a wet, noisy kiss against her cheek bone and she squealed in delight, then hiccoughed, a dribble of milk running from her mouth that dripped down to stain the bib. “uh huh, like that is it, everybody is a critic.” He swung her gently around and Edge automatically took her as Stretch deposited her into his arms, “here, edgelord, the princess needs a bath.”

A bath. That much was certainly true after a restlessness night of milky dribbles.

Edge didn’t move, he only held her uncertainly, shuffling his feet as he reluctantly admitted, “I don’t know how.”

“it’s easy,” Stretch yawned, his spine popping as he raised both arms over his head with a groan, “just bend over. you’ll have to handle it, you’re young and flexible, my back is talking to me like a bowl of rice krispies. wash her like you’d wash your feet. not too hot on the water and there’s bubble bath under the sink. go easy on it or it’ll be like trying to grab a greased watermelon in an ice storm.”

With that direction, Stretch only stared at him expectantly. There was nothing he could say, no protest to be made, and Edge turned on his heel and went back upstairs to the bathroom. He stood by the empty tub, looking down at the baby in his arms. She looked back at him, her thumb firmly in her mouth and her eye lights wide and bright.

So small and delicate, her skull small enough to fit in the cup of his hand. A tiny being composed of fragile bones, it would be entirely too easily for some careless fool to accidentally hurt her. Even if they didn’t mean to, even if they were only trying to help.

He couldn’t do this.

Edge lurched around, heading out the door and ready to call down to Stretch to admit his uselessness when heard his brother’s voice.

“…tryin’ to tell me how to deal with my bro?” So dangerously soft, a warning rarely given for their intended recipient to take care with whatever they said next.

“actually, no, i’m not,” Stretch said. There was a creak of springs as if he’d settled to sit on the sofa. “i wouldn’t do that to you guys. it’s just, he’s not used to all this, so go easy on him, will you? he’s trying really damned hard, he doesn’t need you ragging on him right now about the kid. he thinks the world of you, you gotta know that. so bust his chops about anything else, the baby is off limits. please.”

He couldn’t see downstairs, so he could only imagine what expression was on Stretch’s face that would be enough to make his brother grumble out, “yeah, yeah, honey bun, i get it. lay off until he lands on his feet.”

“thank you. he’s got this, you know. his confidence only took a shake, happens to everyone when they take a step or two out of the comfort zone. give him a little time, he’ll be a whiz. lining up for his best dad coffee mug before we know it.”

“eh, he’s already doing pretty good, ain’t he,” Red said with obvious pride. Edge closed his sockets, swallowing against the sudden thickness in his throat as he listened. “shoulda seen him bustin’ up that lab, kid never hesitated. just grabbed up the little miss and started wreckin’ the joint.”

“i bet. sorry i missed it.” Stretch said, sincerely, and if there was a certain dark satisfaction in those words, it was certainly understandable.

In his arms, the baby began to squirm, and Edge hastily slipped back into the bathroom, quietly closing the door behind them. He settled the baby on the bathmat and turned on the taps, adding a single capful of bubble bath and cautiously checking the temperature before kneeling at her side.

“Ready for a bath?” he asked her, already working to gently strip off her pajamas.

He took her gabbling squeal as a yes and if he, and the bathroom, were nearly as wet as she was by the time she was scrubbed clean, well, that was fine. He’d do better next time.

tbc