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svwhssftr · 1 month ago

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WHAT ARE THEY? SINCARAZ LORE (WITH RECEIPTS)

The RG final brought in an influx of new fans. Because of my SINCARAZ x called you again edit, I received a lot of inquiries about what happened between them. Since their relationship is complicated—("he means a lot to me" / "we’re good friends" / "aren’t close friends" / they wake up in the morning and think about each other)—and goes ↗️↘️↗️↘️↗️ every other month (Hot N Cold by Katy Perry is quite befitting), I thought I should make this.

Before we join hands and plunge into the rabbit hole, I need to establish how downbad Carlos was (is?) for Jannik.

His entire face lit up at the mere mention of Jannik:

Exhibit B. I swear, if Carlos had a tail it would start wagging aggressively at the sight of Jannik.

Carlos looking back at Jannik after they parted ways.

He looks back at Jannik a lot. Exhibit B. Exhibit C.

Tbh, his smile during Jannik’s speech in the Rome ‘25 ceremony is incriminating enough:

(Smiling so aggressively his gums are showing… Someone call an ambulance, we’ve got a man down bad.)

Now that that has been established, let’s move on. Buckle up, it’s a long ride.

They first met as teenagers (Carlos was 15, Jannik - 17) in 2019 at the JC Ferrero Challenger Open, held at the academy of Carlos’ coach, Juan Carlos Ferrero. Carlos won. Jannik is the one who approached Carlos first because he wanted to get to know him.

“I saw the draw coming out and I said, ‘Oh, Carlos Alcaraz, I have no idea who he is!’” said the Italian. “I saw the age and I said, ‘Wow, he’s playing a challenger, it’s amazing.’ And then straight away I was impressed. “After the match, we went to the same locker room … and I was like, ‘When did you start to play tennis?’ And then we started to talk a little bit, because I wanted to get to know him because he was just an amazing talent already back in the day.”

Their first ATP match up was in 2021 at the Rolex Paris Masters. Despite losing, Jannik was the one to say to Carlos at the net: “I hope we play some more.”

And the rest is history: Carlos imprinted on Jannik and has been down bad ever since. Therefore, it can be concluded that Jannik fell first but Carlos fell harder.

Prior to 2024, Jannik and Carlos were quite consistent about referring to each other as good friends.

CARLOS (2022): “[...] and of course, we are great friends outside the court. [...] I talked to him out of the court, by phone, I mean we laughed a lot**, he’s a nice person [...]”

They went jet skiing together after their Umag final, 2022.

JANNIK (Rolex Shanghai Masters 2023): [...] “We have a very good relationship off the court and I feel like we are good friends, but still, you know, on court there is, uh, this nervous, you know, inside you feel a little bit nervous [...]”

During December of 2023, Jannik and Carlos trained together at the Juan Carlos Ferrero Tennis Academy as preseason preparation. Same place where they met for the first time, btw. A ceremony took place where it was unveiled that the main court would be named after Carlos. Jannik recorded the entire thing on his phone, a video that he never shared on social media.

Many people say their relationship is one-sided, that Jannik doesn’t reciprocate, but this moment alone speaks volumes of how much he cares. Other people were capturing the event, so he didn’t need to, but he still chose to, just for himself and Carlos. It wasn’t something meant to be shared with the public. Not only that, he didn’t just take a quick snap, he recorded the entire thing. It’s characteristic of his introverted, private nature to show he cares in subtle ways like this that aren’t always visible/obvious to the public eye.

Jannik talked about it a little bit over here after the interviewer teases him for taking photos like a fan: “For me, it’s special, they grew up together [...]”

The unshared video should also serve as a reminder that there are likely many other private friendly moments shared between them that we as outsiders will never be privy to, so we shouldn’t base assumptions on the nature of their relationship from what’s said/not said on their social media.

CARLOS' UNWAVERING FAITH IN JANNIK

Carlos believed in Jannik’s potential before most people did. In 2023, he remained steadfast in his claim that Jannik is his biggest rival when people were expecting him to name Djokovic. The media kept trying to coax the Alcaraz vs. Djokovic narrative out of Carlos but he would not budge.

Note: Jannik didn’t have his meteoric breakthrough until 2024 (he was showing signs of it by the end of 2023). Before 2024, Jannik had no Grand Slams and only 1 Masters 1000 title (Canada). In comparison, by that point, Carlos had 2 Grand Slams and 4 Master 1000s. He became the youngest World Number One in ATP rankings history in 2022.

I: The rankings say it’s Novak and Carlos, Carlos and Novak, do you consider him to be your biggest rival at the moment? CARLOS, ROME ‘23: “[...] Probably, Jannik right now is my biggest opponent. We had really great matches, but at the same time really, really tough ones. [...]”

CARLOS, Post-Wimbledon, ‘23: "Having someone there, with whom you fight, with whom you have that battle, that beautiful rivalry, is important to maintain motivation for so long. Right now, I think I have it and I’m not afraid to say it: for me, it’s Sinner at the moment. That beautiful rivalry that we have, those big games that we have played, on big stages. As the years go by there will be better ones and we will fight for the big titles.”

Even Jannik didn't consider himself to be Carlos' biggest rival.

JANNIK, SHANGHAI '23: "But in the other way, I feel like that he [Carlos] has achieved many things more than I did at the moment, and me, personally, I think, at the moment, the biggest rivalry he has is Novak because of certain circumstances of points and World Number One and Grandslams throughout the last two years [...]"

I’ve observed Jannik avoids getting ahead of himself and making presumptions about the future— I’m not sure whether it’s because of superstition, his realistic perspective about the rapidly-changing brutal nature of tennis as a competitive sport or something else —which is why he doesn’t entertain talks about the future of their rivalry as easily as Carlos does.

At the time, this raised a lot of eyebrows, but Carlos predicted Jannik would become World Number One in 2024, which Jannik did. The reason behind the skepticism was that in 2023 the World Number One title had gone back-and-forth between Djokovic and Carlos until Djokovic emerged on top as the Year-end World Number One. Djokovic won all the slams apart from Wimbledon, which was won by Carlos. So, people were expecting a similar pattern in 2024.

LANGUAGE(S) THEY COMMUNICATE IN:

In 2022, Carlos said they both communicate in Spanish. On the other hand, Jannik said he speaks in Italian while Carlos speaks in Spanish.

CARLOS: [...] We speak Spanish. I don’t know how to speak Italian. At the moment, we speak Spanish. (Source) Interviewer: “His [Jannik’s] Spanish is good?” CARLOS: “Yeah, he’s good. He has to improve, but his Spanish is good.”

JANNIK: “Sometimes we talk in the locker room. He speaks in Spanish and I speak in Italian, so we talk kind of mixed. But I think we understand us very well. Off court we are friends, we are good friends. I mean, also now after his match and my match, we saw each other in the ice bath. I think we are in a good relationship which hopefully can live for many years because this is the most important.” (Source)

(A/N: Fast forward to the trophy ceremony in Rome 2025, where Carlos told Jannik to speak in Italian because he understands, while Carlos gave his speech to Jannik in English because Jannik’s Spanish isn’t that good [?])

BOTH ARE ALIKE OFF-COURT:

Because of their contrasting personalities, I’ve seen people make assumptions that they don’t mesh well off-court or wonder whether they have anything in common to talk about outside of tennis, but they’re actually quite similar off the court and get along well. In particular, they both place a lot of value on honesty, integrity, and being good people. They both keep close to their small circles.

DARREN CAHILL (JANNIK’S COACH), 2024: “Two young, great kids, not just on the court but off the court as well. Their friendship is real. They both respect each other and like each other and you’ll see that on the court tomorrow regardless of who wins [...]”

DARREN CAHILL (JANNIK’S COACH), 2024: “I think Carlos is very similar to Jannik in both the way they play with the excitement level they bring to the game, and their personalities and their likability. Both guys are incredibly alike off the court. They both like each other.”

JANNIK: "It's easy for Carlos and me to get along. We are quite similar off the court. When we play, however, we are a bit different, but that's normal, it's our nature. Off court, I listen to him, I get the feeling he likes to be surrounded by the people closest to him, as I am. Carlos pushes me to be a better player."

JANNIK, SHANGHAI 2024: “[...] For me it’s nice that we’re rivals on the court and friends off the court [...] Off the court, we are quite similar, because we surround ourselves with our close ones, we like to stay with the team, um, you know there are many, many things, similar things I feel like [...]”

Alcaraz said of Sinner: “I always say you have to be a good person first and athletics comes after that. Jannik thinks the same thing.”

DARREN CAHILL (JANNIK’S COACH), 2025: “Now Carlos and Jannik aren’t going out to dinner together either, but they are mates. They’re in the locker room, they’re talking. I’m part of some of their conversations. I won’t repeat what they are because most of it focuses around what 23-year-olds and 21-year-olds talk about, but they have fun, and they enjoy each other’s company.”

They’re both big football fans.

So you won’t be dropping Carlitos a text if Italy beats Spain in their group-stage match? [JANNIK] No, I will never do that… [Pauses to laugh and grins]... Maybe!

ON-AND-OFF DIVORCE ERA A.K.A We’re so back / It’s so over / We’re so fucking back / it’s joeover

They forgot to sit down and define the relationship, so were on completely different pages for a good part of 2024.

Things were looking good in Indian Wells.

They were high-fiving and chatting each other up in the tunnel before their match, Carlos waited for Jannik so they could leave the court together when the match was delayed because of rain, giggling together as they left the court (bonus: carlos patting Jannik’s b—), sat together in the locker room and talked about life, also laughed about:

CARLOS, INDIAN WELLS 24: “Well, we were laughing about it with Jannik when it [match] suspended, because I had bees, had the rain.”

Things changed around Miami.

While Carlos was waxing poetic about their futures:

“Hopefully Jannik and I both have a long and beautiful future ahead of us.” (N: Oddly romantic thing to say: sounds like Carlos wants to spend the rest of their lives together.) CARLOS, MIAMI 2024

Also, Carlos saying more downbad and incriminating things like: “He means a lot to me.” (INDIAN WELLS ‘24)

For the first time, in Miami 2024, Jannik defines their relationship as not that close as previously painted:

“[...] We have a lot of respect for each other and, obviously, off the court we don't speak that much because he has his own things and I have my things."

Some of the reactions from this reddit thread are worth a read, lol.

(Skipping a major arc: Roland Garros '24)

Things started looking good again months later during Beijing. Chatting in the gym (part 1, part 2). Carlos was looking to give Zendaya a run for her money the way he was laughing in part 1. I would say Jannik isn’t that funny, but too many people close to him have said otherwise, so maybe he is indeed just that funny.

Just look at them during the trophy ceremony.

“I respect you a lot as a player but even more as a person” was very much needed after all the noise that had reemerged with the WADA appeal.

Jannik and Carlos greet each other’s teams.

They shared a flight together after their final:

Carlos’ interview about it. Jannik’s interview about it (his little giggle when asked about the photo was so cute).

During Shanghai, someone pulled Uno reverse, because now Jannik was talking about how they’re friends off court but Carlos was like we’re not that close.

CARLOS, SHANGHAI ‘24: "We don't talk too much when we are around. Obviously, we have a really good relationship off the court as well. I think we both respect each other a lot, as a player, as a person, but once we are on tour traveling, you know, during tournaments when we are on-site, we are with our team, on our own, so we don't speak too much. When we can, we talk a little bit besides tennis about life a little bit, but not too much. It means, we have a good relationship, but we are not close friends, you know, but I think the respect that we have, you know, put [us] in a position that we have a really good relationship."

For renowned downbad Carlos to say this, the people were certainly shocked. He managed to fight off the allegations until he lost the war by cheesin’ so hard just because Jannik grouped him as a legend during the trophy ceremony in Shanghai (the final was between Jannik and Djokovic but Carlos was there to watch).

Just look at him:

Their exhibition final, SIX KINGS SLAM ‘24 was a gift that kept on giving:

Silly confusion because the announcer got their walkout order wrong, Jannik removed confetti from Carlos’ hair, Jannik—I wake up in the morning thinking about Carlos—Sinner, Carlos refused to let go of Jannik, bench talks etc.

I: So, did you just tell us that everyday you wake up you think about him [Carlos]?

(The interviewer decided to choose violence and not let that insane statement from Jannik go by unnoticed by everyone in that stadium)

JANNIK: [Flustered pause] “Well, no, I mean… [Jannik laughs in panic while Carlos looks utterly delighted] It would be strange, no?”

(The interviewer had to intercede and save him.)

I: “In practice terms."

(Love how the interviewer said this in such a pointed way, like gay boy your mind went there by itself, I was talking about practice)

I: "He’s your biggest rival, isn’t he, over the next few years. Do you still get on as friends?”

JANNIK: “I mean, we understand each other very well. We travel a lot. We are, I would say good friends [turns to check with Carlos, who nods], you know. Not obviously the best out of the best, but y‘know, we also like to share every time when we go on the court. We try to enjoy [...]”

Carlos decided to send signals to Jannik during his press conference that he wants to be friends:

“[...] We don’t spend too much time together off the court, but I would love to.”

He WOULD LOVE TO. Jannik did that blazing signal manage to transmit through your thick curls?

I really liked this comment on their relationship:

It explains everything pretty well.

It's hard to be friends with the person who is responsible for chipping away your soul and body in a grueling battle that lasts for hours, who rips your heart into pieces by squashing your dreams and taking the one thing you wanted the most (when it was nearly within reach).

Poor Jannik has cried enough times because of Carlos 😭

“Tears of happiness? I haven’t had them yet. [I cried] after [losing to] Carlos in the US Open, also a bit at Roland Garros,” Jannik adds. “There are always moments when you feel emotions you don’t want in the locker room or sometimes when you’re in transportation or even in the hotel room alone. It means you care about the sport. It means you want to reach this level." (Source / 2024)

I liked this analysis on them.

FOR JUST CO-WORKERS, THEY’RE TOTALLY NORMAL ABOUT EACH OTHER:

They both wake up in the morning and think about each other.

Carlos [about Jannik during Roland Garros ‘24]: "...to wake up in the morning and want to improve my game to try to beat him..." [Source]

Jannik [about Carlos on two different occasions]: "...he pushes me to do better. I wake up in the morning trying to understand what I can do better trying to beat him next time, which is something nice for me as a player." [Source]

Jannik: "...we try to push ourselves to the limits, you know, I wake up in the morning trying to understand the ways how to beat him and you know this kind of rivalries and this kind of players they push us always to our 100% limit..." [Source]

CARLOS, SHANGHAI ‘23: “[...] Against him, as I said, it’s different.”

JANNIK, SHANGHAI ‘24: “[...] It’s like fire and ice, a bit [...]”

Interviewer: “Carlos was in here, and he said it really hurts to lose against you. Especially against you. Do you love to win, especially against him?” JANNIK: “[...] Obviously, both of us, we hate losing, especially against each other.”

CARLOS, INDIAN WELLS ‘24: “I mean, I hear some declarations from Tommy Paul that was funny for me, that he's [Jannik’s] absolutely naked right now. He’s playing naked, so [...]” (Source) / “I hear some words from Tommy Paul that he’s [Jannik’s] playing absolutely naked, so he’s right [...]” (Source)

Guess he liked the thought of Jannik playing absolutely naked so much that he had to mention it more than once. Alright.

CARLOS, ROLAND GARROS ‘24: “That’s when I thought, ‘Jannik, if you really want to beat me, you’re gonna have to take me out on a stretcher.’”

“Everything he does, he does it perfectly.”

CARLOS, ROME ‘25: “[...] Honestly, I’m going to say I need him in the tour [...]” / “I’m not going to get tired of saying, y’know, how amazing a person, athlete you are.”

JANNIK, ROLAND GARROS ‘25: “He’s [Carlos’] a player with charisma, with that aura. The moment he steps on court, you can feel his presence.”

CARLOS, ROME ‘25: I'm more focused when I'm playing against him, or I feel a little bit different when I'm going to face him than other players. He has that aura. When you're seeing him on the other side of the net, it's different.”

Where’s that twitter post that went along the lines of: aura is basically you calling another man attractive

CARLOS, ROLAND GARROS ‘25: “[...] It’s a privilege to share the court with you, in every tournament, making history with you.”

Not to be cheesy and quote Red, White & Royal Blue, but: “History, huh?”

We've only scratched the surface here (their divorce 2.0 still remains unearthed), but this post has gotten too long, so I'm going to end it here. Hopefully, this proves useful to someone.

#this is hilarious

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svwhssftr · 1 month ago

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WHAT ARE THEY? SINCARAZ LORE (WITH RECEIPTS)

Before we join hands and plunge into the rabbit hole, I need to establish how downbad Carlos was (is?) for Jannik.

His entire face lit up at the mere mention of Jannik:

Exhibit B. I swear, if Carlos had a tail it would start wagging aggressively at the sight of Jannik.

Carlos looking back at Jannik after they parted ways.

He looks back at Jannik a lot. Exhibit B. Exhibit C.

Tbh, his smile during Jannik’s speech in the Rome ‘25 ceremony is incriminating enough:

(Smiling so aggressively his gums are showing… Someone call an ambulance, we’ve got a man down bad.)

Now that that has been established, let’s move on. Buckle up, it’s a long ride.

Their first ATP match up was in 2021 at the Rolex Paris Masters. Despite losing, Jannik was the one to say to Carlos at the net: “I hope we play some more.”

And the rest is history: Carlos imprinted on Jannik and has been down bad ever since. Therefore, it can be concluded that Jannik fell first but Carlos fell harder.

Prior to 2024, Jannik and Carlos were quite consistent about referring to each other as good friends.

CARLOS (2022): “[...] and of course, we are great friends outside the court. [...] I talked to him out of the court, by phone, I mean we laughed a lot**, he’s a nice person [...]”

They went jet skiing together after their Umag final, 2022.

Jannik talked about it a little bit over here after the interviewer teases him for taking photos like a fan: “For me, it’s special, they grew up together [...]”

CARLOS' UNWAVERING FAITH IN JANNIK

Even Jannik didn't consider himself to be Carlos' biggest rival.

LANGUAGE(S) THEY COMMUNICATE IN:

In 2022, Carlos said they both communicate in Spanish. On the other hand, Jannik said he speaks in Italian while Carlos speaks in Spanish.

BOTH ARE ALIKE OFF-COURT:

Alcaraz said of Sinner: “I always say you have to be a good person first and athletics comes after that. Jannik thinks the same thing.”

They’re both big football fans.

So you won’t be dropping Carlitos a text if Italy beats Spain in their group-stage match? [JANNIK] No, I will never do that… [Pauses to laugh and grins]... Maybe!

ON-AND-OFF DIVORCE ERA A.K.A We’re so back / It’s so over / We’re so fucking back / it’s joeover

They forgot to sit down and define the relationship, so were on completely different pages for a good part of 2024.

Things were looking good in Indian Wells.

CARLOS, INDIAN WELLS 24: “Well, we were laughing about it with Jannik when it [match] suspended, because I had bees, had the rain.”

Things changed around Miami.

While Carlos was waxing poetic about their futures:

Also, Carlos saying more downbad and incriminating things like: “He means a lot to me.” (INDIAN WELLS ‘24)

For the first time, in Miami 2024, Jannik defines their relationship as not that close as previously painted:

“[...] We have a lot of respect for each other and, obviously, off the court we don't speak that much because he has his own things and I have my things."

Some of the reactions from this reddit thread are worth a read, lol.

(Skipping a major arc: Roland Garros '24)

Just look at them during the trophy ceremony.

“I respect you a lot as a player but even more as a person” was very much needed after all the noise that had reemerged with the WADA appeal.

Jannik and Carlos greet each other’s teams.

They shared a flight together after their final:

Carlos’ interview about it. Jannik’s interview about it (his little giggle when asked about the photo was so cute).

During Shanghai, someone pulled Uno reverse, because now Jannik was talking about how they’re friends off court but Carlos was like we’re not that close.

Just look at him:

Their exhibition final, SIX KINGS SLAM ‘24 was a gift that kept on giving:

I: So, did you just tell us that everyday you wake up you think about him [Carlos]?

(The interviewer decided to choose violence and not let that insane statement from Jannik go by unnoticed by everyone in that stadium)

JANNIK: [Flustered pause] “Well, no, I mean… [Jannik laughs in panic while Carlos looks utterly delighted] It would be strange, no?”

(The interviewer had to intercede and save him.)

I: “In practice terms."

(Love how the interviewer said this in such a pointed way, like gay boy your mind went there by itself, I was talking about practice)

I: "He’s your biggest rival, isn’t he, over the next few years. Do you still get on as friends?”

Carlos decided to send signals to Jannik during his press conference that he wants to be friends:

“[...] We don’t spend too much time together off the court, but I would love to.”

He WOULD LOVE TO. Jannik did that blazing signal manage to transmit through your thick curls?

I really liked this comment on their relationship:

It explains everything pretty well.

Poor Jannik has cried enough times because of Carlos 😭

I liked this analysis on them.

FOR JUST CO-WORKERS, THEY’RE TOTALLY NORMAL ABOUT EACH OTHER:

They both wake up in the morning and think about each other.

Carlos [about Jannik during Roland Garros ‘24]: "...to wake up in the morning and want to improve my game to try to beat him..." [Source]

CARLOS, SHANGHAI ‘23: “[...] Against him, as I said, it’s different.”

JANNIK, SHANGHAI ‘24: “[...] It’s like fire and ice, a bit [...]”

Guess he liked the thought of Jannik playing absolutely naked so much that he had to mention it more than once. Alright.

CARLOS, ROLAND GARROS ‘24: “That’s when I thought, ‘Jannik, if you really want to beat me, you’re gonna have to take me out on a stretcher.’”

“Everything he does, he does it perfectly.”

CARLOS, ROME ‘25: “[...] Honestly, I’m going to say I need him in the tour [...]” / “I’m not going to get tired of saying, y’know, how amazing a person, athlete you are.”

JANNIK, ROLAND GARROS ‘25: “He’s [Carlos’] a player with charisma, with that aura. The moment he steps on court, you can feel his presence.”

Where’s that twitter post that went along the lines of: aura is basically you calling another man attractive

CARLOS, ROLAND GARROS ‘25: “[...] It’s a privilege to share the court with you, in every tournament, making history with you.”

Not to be cheesy and quote Red, White & Royal Blue, but: “History, huh?”

We've only scratched the surface here (their divorce 2.0 still remains unearthed), but this post has gotten too long, so I'm going to end it here. Hopefully, this proves useful to someone.

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svwhssftr · 1 month ago

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insane tennis headlines that are burned into my brain

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svwhssftr · 1 month ago

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Their eyes and looks in some photos are absolutely insane

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svwhssftr · 1 month ago

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Wimbledon 2025 Final | JANNIK SINNER def. Carlos Alcaraz 4-6 6-4 6-4 6-4

"IF YOU CAN MEET WITH TRIUMPH AND DISASTER AND TREAT THOSE TWO IMPOSTORS JUST THE SAME."

"NO MATTER WHAT THEY THROW AT YOU, YOU HAVE TO KEEP FIGHTING. AS LONG AS YOU MAKE SURE YOU DO THAT, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO FAIL."

Now you can kiss your trophy 🏆

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svwhssftr · 1 month ago

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he really is white boy wasted 😭😭😭😭

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svwhssftr · 1 month ago

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wimbledon 2025

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svwhssftr · 2 months ago

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MY SHEYLAS

look we both said these scene would be silent but im a writer not a film director (yet) so I had to give it some dialogue. not that I couldn’t have written it silent. I just didn’t want to lmao @svwhssftr

NONEXISTENT SHAM BORDER👍

“Hmph,” Strike whimpered, biting her bottom lip as she ran her forearm underneath the sink’s cool water. Splatters of fresh blood tainted the white porcelain. A dismantled razor sat in the midst of it all, teasing her. The water reduced the stinging, if only for a second.

It reminded her of the stream—of the koi fish, of Mako, of every perfect thing he did. His grades, his scholarships, his intelligence. She couldn’t think about him without her head rushing with jealousy anymore. Why wasn’t she succeeding? What was different about him? Why wasn’t she normal? Why couldn’t she just be normal?

But this was why. Because every time she thought about herself, she acted on the need to self-destruct—or maybe it was the need to toughen herself up. Either outcome was an improvement from her current state. She held her arms behind her back and flexed in the dull overhead lighting. She looked good. Her bulking was worth it.

Maybe there was some sick beauty in the jumbled makeup of her body—in her perky tits and wide hips, in her distinct muscles, in the scars creeping around her thighs and arms. She was somehow every aspect of herself at once. She could never escape one or the other.

She shut off the water and dried her arm with a nearby towel, configuring how to wrap it around herself for the night before the door beside her inched open.

Her heart dropped. Her vision blurred. Her first instinct was to pry the towel from her arm and cover her chest, but she quickly realized her mistake as the blood smeared across her torso.

“Dani.”

She knew that voice. She knew that damn voice too well, but she couldn’t bring it upon herself to look at him. She stared deeply into the mess she made—the red splotches across the sink and rusted disfigured razors.

“Get out,” was all she mustered, clutching the towel to her chest.

And he did. The door closed just as slowly as it had opened. She scrambled to clean up her blood as if it would undo any of what had happened. As if it would clear herself of any responsibility for the damage she wrought upon herself. If she looked clean, then she was clean. There was no wreckage if she never left a trace.

As she scrubbed the last bit of the sink with soap and misted it with her perfume to mask the lingering odor of fresh blood, the door opened again.

“Where did you cut?”

“Leave.” She slipped on an old t-shirt—one of Kai’s old concert shirts, which was truthfully stolen from Noeul.

“Dani, where did you cut yourself?”

“I said leave.”

“Do you want an infection?”

“I haven’t gotten one yet.”

“How long have you been doing this?”

“I don’t know.”

“Great.” Kai unraveled a strip of gauze. “Give me your arm.”

“I don’t need that.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Everyone’s going to know—“

“And they won’t be able to see the fucking gashes on your arm?”

Strike didn’t respond. She limply reached her arm out to him in defeat.

“Fucking hell, Strike,” Kai muttered, gently squeezing her arm as he studied her bleeding wounds.

She didn’t respond. He started just below her elbow and quickly wrapped her, the pressure somehow worse than the cuts. His unconfident movements and intent stare reminded her of the nights he spent perched behind her, attempting to braid her hair and eventually settling on a low-effort ponytail adorned with a ribbon. In a way, the two actions were the same—a failed attempt to show he cared for her but didn’t have it in him to address the root of the issue.

She sharply inhaled as the blood started to soak through the off-white gauze.

“What?” he snapped.

“It hurts. It’s too tight.”

“Oh, and slicing yourself open didn’t?”

Strike, yet again, didn’t have a response. Maybe she would have if it hadn’t been three in the morning and if her wits had been about her. But she barely knew how old she was—she felt like a child again.

“You should be good,” Kai whispered. “I’ll leave this here in case you need more, but you need to go to bed.”

“That’s all you’re going to say?”

“What else do you want me to say? I’m not going to have a coronary and wake up Mako.”

Mako. Of course. Because everything had to revolve around Mako.

“I don’t know,” Strike murmured, blinking her exhausted eyes.

“See, I wake up to take a piss, and I have to deal with you slinging your blood all over the damn place. It’s always something new in this house.”

“It could have been worse. I didn’t have a shirt on at first.”

“Eh, you can get blood on that shirt, I don’t care.”

“Good to know. It’ll be my go-to cutting shirt now.”

Kai choked back a laugh before patting her on the back. “You’re seriously fucked up. You should be glad I haven’t sent you to an institution.”

“Only because they’d take you right along with me.” She smiled. She was profusely bleeding from multiple self-inflicted wounds, and she was smiling.

A heavy silence filled the air as Strike washed the last of the blood beneath her nails. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, bare-faced and sticky. She looked like a child. To Kai, she was a child.

As she went to leave, he wrapped his arms under hers and rested his chin on the top of her head, trapping her in the first hug she had received in too many years. She instinctively relaxed, wrapping her shivering arms around his back.

And they stood there holding each other beneath the dull overhead light, blood seeping through her gauze. That was the way it was for them—and they both knew it was the way it always would be.

#omg #olmg

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svwhssftr · 2 months ago

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Brief (Geek Boy)

Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt - Episode 12

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svwhssftr · 2 months ago

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Could you do some stamps with brief from paswg? :0

★👻🧡BRIEF PASWG STAMPS🔸🪽

👓These stamps are free to use! Stamp template by 💚

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svwhssftr · 3 months ago

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svwhssftr · 3 months ago

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RADIOACTIVE yuri

Trader Joe’s but lore accurate. tagging u bc you’ll enjoy this even though it’s morally reprehensible to do so @svwhssftr

“Fuck!” Strike screamed, her knees folding as she slammed an empty glass bottle onto her wall. Shards of glass scattered, slicing the skin above her dirtied combat boots. She heavily breathed, her back arched and her arms shaking.

Crow knew better than to speak.

“I’m so fucking tired!” she barked. “He gets away with every-fucking-thing. Why does he get every damn thing he wants? I have nothing! I have nothing going for me. I’m done with this shit. I have no reason to be alive right now. It’s all a loop—train, go home, drink to feel something, kill to make myself feel something, whatever. I’m never making it out. I’m gonna kill myself before I do.”

She wasn’t talking to him. She was talking to herself. There was some strange magic in the way her eyes softened at his body curled on her bed, clutching a pillow—some sort of feigned sympathy and long-lost innocence.

“Oh, but you’re just like me. You aren’t making it out of this shithole either. You have nowhere else to go, and neither do I. We only have each other. We’re fuckin’ poison, but it’s better than the alternative.”

There was no use in correcting her. She wasn’t listening to him.

“Really, it’s true. We’re gonna rot here in this stuck-up, shit-faced town. But you make it bearable, baby.” Strike lifted a shard of her bottle from her carpet, stained with blood, and tucked it into the waist of her cargo pants. She haphazardly removed her sun-faded Rob Zombie shirt before aimlessly scratching her back, her quivering fingers caught between her bra straps.

“Take it off of me. Do whatever you want. You know what works.” She smiled. Her smile was damn pretty. In the moment, it could make anyone forget all that was wrong with her. Her legs buckled as she collapsed across from him on the bed, and he easily unhooked the back of her bra. Her tan lines were still visible in the dark, her muscles and scars defined by the flickering lamplight.

“Okay,” she breathed, straddling him as she reached into her pocket. “You’re okay?”

Crow nodded as her weight sank into his hips. Strike gently cupped his face and kissed him, cheap booze rancid on her breath. Her other hand unbuttoned his jean shorts and fumbled through his peekaboo boxers, teasing him. He softly whimpered and his ankle twitched. She paused.

“No, not now. I’m not in the mood for that. You’re not in the mood for that. Let me just—“

She yanked down his boxers further, fully exposing him, before slicing open his thigh with her shard of glass. He yelped, and she stifled his mouth with her hand.

“Don’t complain. This is why I love you.” She smiled again as she removed her hand and adjusted her thong strap. “Be quiet for me, okay?”

“Okay,” Crow whispered.

“Your voice is so pretty when you’re tired. You’re so perfect, everything about you. Like a little doll.” She dug the shard further into this thigh, making more horizontal cuts. He blinked back tears as he suppressed his vocal cords.

“Does that feel good?” she asked, tracing the fresh wounds with her hand. Crow nodded. She bent down to kiss them, the alcohol still fresh on her lips burning the open cuts.

“This is hotter than sex. If I could, I’d cut you open and gut you and stuff you to make my sex doll, but you’re one of the few living people I can stand. I need you around. I can’t do that.” She tugged on the collar of his shirt as she spoke, admiring the speckles around his collarbones. “I wish you’d tell me more of your fantasies. I like it when you’re perverted. I know it’s in you, baby. You’re just as fucked-up as I am deep down. You know I’ll do whatever you want.”

“I’ll be okay,” he whispered.

“You wanna know what I was thinking about the other night? While I was masturbating.” Strike cleared her throat. “I kill Mako. I kill my dad, too, actually. I desecrate their bodies entirely—rip out their nails, their hair, their eyes, their teeth, whatever I can get my hands on. I tie them up and let their bodies dry out. I skin them, then I take the best parts of their meat and eat it raw. I bury their bones in the backyard, and their brains, too, so they really know what’s going on. I call you over, we drink their blood, and I get you pregnant right over their graves.”

The only sound in the room was her rickety box fan whirring. “I wish I had a dick to come inside you. Like, really stretch you open. I want to feel you around me.”

“Yeah,” Crow peeped.

“You always look so pretty riding my strap. Like when you come and I can feel it on me? But I like missionary, too. I like any position with you. You’re so fucking pretty. I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.”

“I like missionary because I can pin down your wrists. I like it when you lose all control. You’re so wild-eyed when you’re panicked. It’s cute. Like right now, I can tell you’re freaked out by me. But kind of turned on, aren’t you?”

Crow didn’t respond. Strike gutturally chuckled.

“I don’t want to do anything tonight, though. I can’t even see straight. I’ll see you in the morning.” She sprawled herself over his lap and closed her eyes, her neck going limp as soon as she relaxed. Crow wrapped her t-shirt around the wounds on his thigh, then fell asleep next to her.

#strike… strike eating crow up fr

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