#sorry for the small vent here i just feel like i should apologize for the inconsistency here

[emotional-support-demoman]

Ooc:

Hi I am so sorry that I haven't been active recently I'm trying my hardest to keep this account going because all the nice messages and seeing people interact makes my day but it's getting harder and harder to post consistently.

We are coming up to this account being a year old and with the rest of the emotional mercs to I appreciate every one of you and the support you have given to all the accounts despite the ups and downs the active and inactive.

I try my best to keep this account running but I apologize for the consistent inactivity.

[sister-lucifer]

Apology, With Tears 

Lucifer x Gender Neutral Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst/Comfort

Summary: Lucifer comforts you during a hard time, and reminds you that your feelings are always welcome with him

Content/Warnings: Comfort, guilt, angst with happy ending, implied venting (the source of anguish itself isn’t specified, please project whatever issue you may be having onto this fic /srs)

Like my writing? I take requests! NSFW or SFW for any fandoms in my bio! 

Also, please reblog! it’s free, takes two seconds, and really helps me out 

Feedback is encouraged and appreciated:)

Not fully proofread! Let me know if you see any errors!

“I-I’m sorry….” 

Your voice was so small. Shockingly, terrifyingly so. For a moment Lucifer froze, unsure if he had really heard it. The words were as fragile as a single snowflake landing on the bare concrete, ready to break and melt into oblivion at any moment. They were as quiet as the coo of a dove in a raging thunderstorm, and yet they shook Lucifer to his very core. 

“Excuse me?” 

“I’m sorry, Lucifer…” 

There was a small part of him that thought maybe the repetition would bring clarity, but no such luck. Gently he hooked two fingers under your chin, tilting your head up towards him in a slow manner so that you’d have ample opportunity to resist him if you’d like. 

You did not. You allowed him to meet your eyes with his. 

That was the softest you’ve ever seen his gaze. 

The sharp brows that were usually taut with annoyance were furrowed just slightly in such a way that you could tell Lucifer didn’t even know he was doing it. He would never purposely let concern show so obviously, but it seems he was preoccupied with other, more pressing concerns at the moment. 

Something sorrowful in the swirling red of his eyes stabbed into your heart with a pang of guilt. To know you had caused Lucifer—the chronically overworked head of house—such worry brought a heaving sob from you. 

The last of your resilience disappeared like a flame in the wind. The tears flowed freely, and there was no stopping them. They ran fast down your cheeks and fell into your shaking palms and stained your shirt. They were shamefully, burning hot, like liquid fire on your face, but once they fell to your lap you could not feel them. You brought up an arm to cover your eyes, the tears soaking into your sleeve and soon after your skin. 

“I’m…I’m sorry, I—“ 

“Please, please stop saying that, my love….” 

The words are surprising, but even in your shock you can’t bring yourself to look up at Lucifer. 

“Why…” He begins, at a loss for words for the first time since he can remember. 

“��Why do you keep apologizing?” 

You thought you’d have an immediate answer, and yet when you open your mouth no words come. That should be an easy question. You knew why. 

Didn’t you? 

You have to search a bit more before you even think of speaking. 

“I just…I feel bad for…b-being like this—“ 

“Being like what?!” Lucifer interrupts, and now his confusion and desperation is showing through. He’s not raising his voice and yet his words hold a sense of urgency akin to that of a scream for help. He isn’t angry, but he is so overwhelmingly worried. 

“I…I-I shouldn’t…” You have to fish around in the word pool a bit more before pulling out the right ones. “I shouldn’t be…making you deal with this, i-it’s my problem, I can handle it, I…” 

The pause is heavy. Unbearably, crushingly heavy. 

“I shouldn’t be doing this to you…” 

It is in this moment that Lucifer’s black heart shatters into countless pieces. The larger fragments linger in their place, the smaller splinters go flying off in all directions. It is likely that he will never recover all of them. There is no way to when something like this happens. He knows that you have felt the same. You have lost many pieces of your heart along the way here. 

Fortunately, Lucifer has some to spare. 

“You aren’t doing anything to me, my love…” He assures you, taking your hands in his. His grip is loose, encouraging you to follow his movements instead of forcing you. 

“You talk about yourself as if you are some terrible, laborious thing that must be dealt with against all will. I’m not here because I am forced to or because I feel I must, or else. If I thought this wasn’t a serious matter I would have walked out of this room long ago.” 

He’s right. You know he’s right. Living with six unruly little brothers means Lucifer has a very high tolerance for emotional turmoil. You’ve seen him shoo his bickering brothers away or send an injured Mammon off with no more than a ‘good luck’ and a wave of his hand. He knew his brothers could deal with themselves. 

But you? You were not them, but he still knew exactly what you needed.

“You are not some heavy burden forced on my shoulders, I choose to be here. You have nothing to apologize for because I am asking you to seek me out for help.” 

A gloved thumb wipes a tear from your cheek, and for the first time you meet Lucifer’s gaze on your own. His expression is lighter somehow,  brows not pressed quite so tightly together. 

“Hardships cannot be endured alone, that is a fact. They are meant to be shared. So please, no more ‘sorry.’ Apologies are for when you do something wrong…like how a certain twin keeps eating the drywall in the common room…” 

You can’t help but laugh at that. It’s weak, hardly intelligible through your labored breathing, but Lucifer hears it. 

The smile that crosses his lips is merely a ghost, gone in a moment. 

But you see it. 

It comforts you in such a way that it destroys every defensive wall you had been fighting so hard to keep up. Suddenly you’re reaching for him, gripping onto his uniform shirt with aching fingers before pulling him to you. A loud sob echoes through you as you hide your face against his chest, hot tears leaving trails down his button up. 

If you were anyone else in any other scenario, Lucifer would probably be a bit appalled at how you were ruining his freshly ironed uniform. 

And yet, the thought never even crossed his mind.

A tender hand strokes the back of your head, and the other ushers you up into a more comfortable sitting position in his lap. 

He doesn’t shush you, or tell you it’s okay, because it isn’t. But it doesn’t have to be. He knows you will calm yourself in your own time. 

Until then, he is more than content to stay right here. 

[komotionlessqueenmm]

Imagine # 1,060

Picture NOT mine.

Year posted - 2024

Rating - SFW

Reading time (Roughly) - 12 minutes

This one was actually a request, which I don't typically do, but sometimes I simply can't resist!

Tag(s) - @rishdrago

With a tired sigh (Y/n) sat the last of her groceries onto the counter in her kitchen. It was another long day at work, with another grueling case coming to a close. While she loves her job, sometimes it really takes a toll on her. But now at home all she needs to worry about is putting away her groceries, and making a quick dinner. Easy enough. If it wasn't for the sound of a floorboard creaking in the hallway that set her into fight or flight mode.

Spinning on her heel in an instant, she unholstered her pistol and aimed at the doorway to the hallway. "You really messed up you know, but if you know what's good for you, you'll come into the light nice and slow. Otherwise you're gonna leave my house in an ambulance, or a body bag." (Y/n) called out to the would be intruder, bracing herself for a potential firefight. But when the intruder rounded the corner, and came into sight, she nearly dropped her gun. "Frank?" She breathed out in a whisper, her arms falling to her sides. "Frank's dead." He muttered mournfully. "You look pretty fucking alive to me." She sassed as she holstered her pistol, knowing deep down that she could still trust Frank with her life.

The behemoth of a man simply shrugged his shoulders, taking a small first step into the room, as if he was testing the water. "What are you doing here?" She asked turning back to her groceries, while letting him come into the room at his own pace. "I killed Gianni Franco." He stated as he walked up to the other side of the counter, leaving the space between them to prove he meant her no harm. "Trust me Frank, I am well aware of that. You do realize I'm still a detective right? And I'm still friends with Jake you know, so I'm the one he goes to, to vent about you." She glanced his way, trying to get a read of his reaction to her words.

He seemed unbothered, which really didn't surprise her. "I'm sorry." Now that surprised her. Setting the box of noodles down, she turned her full attention to Frank. "Why are you apologizing to me? I'm not the one you should apologize to." She pointed out, but Frank didn't seem bothered, as he casually scratched at the scruff on his face. "Frank why are you here?" She asked now standing across from him at the counter, looking into his eyes which once swirled with so much life. "I don't know... I'm not exactly sure what to do now." He admitted.

"Jake would tell you to turn yourself in." (Y/n) mused with a small smile, her words making him chuckle softly under his breath, a sound she had missed more than she ever realized until now. "That's why I came to you." He admitted, now leaning against the counter. "I knew you wouldn't arrest me on the spot like Jake, and I could just talk to you." Frank admitted with a small smile, though it didn't reach his eyes.

"Well that's where me and Jake are different, I actually believe you're doing the world good by killing those guys. People like that have to much money and power for us to touch, and we could use a vigilante to even out the odds." She hummed as she grabbed a beer from the fridge, sliding it across the counter to Frank, who took it with a small mutter of thanks. "I knew you'd feel that way." He said before sipping his beer. "Then why didn't you come to me sooner?" She asked as she leaned again the counter.

"Because I don't want you trying to join me." He stated matter-of-factly, making (Y/n) chuckle softly. "That's fair I guess, but what's changed? Why come to me now?" She pried, hoping he would open up to her. "I had a dream about you last night." His words stuck a cord in (Y/n)'s heart, one she didn't realize was still there until now. "A dream?" She played off her nerves like a natural, making her glad she was trained to hide her true emotions, in order to effectively interrogate suspects.

"It started as a nightmare, I was reliving their deaths." She knew he was referring to his family, so she didn't pry for clarification, knowing it only hurt him to talk about them. "But before I could wake up, you appeared from the shadows. You didn't say anything, you just..." He trailed off as he stared at his beer. "You just pulled me into a hug, and held me while I cried for them." (Y/n)'s heart broke at his admittance, she knew he hated showing vulnerably before he lost his family, let alone now that he's The Punisher.

"It made me realize how much I've missed you, and I also realized I can't keep doing this alone, I can't keep being alone." He looked up to her, his eyes ever so glossy. "I know Julie would want me to move on, to come to terms with what happened. But I couldn't do that while the Franco's were still alive and free." He sipped his beer. "But now... Now I need help getting through this, and you're the only one that can help me (Y/n)." Frank wanted to hold her hand as he spoke, but he resisted the urge.

"I'll always be here for you Frank." She assured him, her words pulling a genuine smile from him. "How about I make us some dinner, and we can figure out where to go from there." She offered, smiling when he nodded in agreement. "You should stay here tonight, get a shower and have some normalcy for a change." She added. "Are you trying to say I smell bad?" He asked with a playful smirk.

"Frank dear I've been holding my breath this entire time." (Y/n) joked, making him roll his eyes, despite his smile. "Still a smartass I see." He huffed. "You wouldn't have it any other way." She sassed before pointing to the hallway. "You still remember where the guestroom is." She added, smiling when he nodded and walked off to take a shower while she cooked dinner.

"Well what are you planning on doing now that you've dealt with the Franco family?" (Y/n) asked before she finished off the last bite of her dinner. "There are still people who are not punished by the justice system." Frank stated having finished his dinner long before she had. "Are you planning on doing to them what you did to the Franco's?" She asked. "Only to those who deserve it." Frank clarified, setting (Y/n)'s mind at ease.

"I'm glad you've come to me Frank, but I'm unbelievably exhausted, and I need to get some sleep." She rose from her seat, picking up her plate, and moving to grab his. Frank took her plate, and grabbed his own. "I'll deal with the dishes, go to bed, we can talk more in the morning." He insisted. "Okay thank you." She leaned over and pecked his temple like she used to as a quick thanks. "Oh and I forgot to ask, you didn't break any windows to get in did you?" She asked.

"No don't worry, I just picked the lock on the back door." He shrugged casually. "You still have that spare key I gave you don't you?" She arched a brow at him, and his faint smile gave him away. "Goodnight Frank." She called as she walked away into the hall. "Goodnight (Y/n)." He called back to her. When (Y/n) reached her bedroom, she began shedding off her clothes, in desperate need of a warm shower before going to bed.

As the water washed over her sore muscles, (Y/n)'s mind drifted to Frank. She'd been so torn up when he was declared dead, and mourned for him and his family for many months. They were a big part of her life, they were family to her. Even though deep down (Y/n) had loved Frank in a deeper more heart wrenching way. She knew it wasn't right, she knew that then, and even now she feels guilty for it.

She never acted on it, and never intended on trying to take him as her own. He was happy and he deserved the love he already had with Julie. Now things are different, but it still doesn't feel right, even if it's been over a year since she passed. He clearly still loved her, and (Y/n) wasn't going to make a fool of herself, and potentially push him away and loose him again. Still she couldn't deny the way her heart fluttered at the sight of him again, so much more gruff and rugged.

And knowing that he trusted her enough to come to her made her head spin. By the time she finished her shower, her eyes grew heavy with sleep. Her mind was still stuck on Frank, even as she crawled between the sheets. She wondered idly if he would still be here in the morning, or if he'd ever come back when he did leave. As she began drifting to sleep, she heard the sound of the guestroom door opening and closing. Telling her he was still here, and most likely would still be come morning.

(Y/n)'s sleep was dreamless and peaceful, which was better than she'd had in weeks. While Frank's dreams were chaotic and filled with memories that still hurt him oh so deeply. He dreamt of his children, of his wife, of the look of betrayal and hurt on Jakes face. Then he dreamt of (Y/n), and her never ending acceptance of the choices he's made. He felt at ease while he dreamt of her, his tense muscles relaxing as he dreamt of walking with her beside a lake.

She always had a way of putting him at ease, just by simply being there and listening to him vent whenever he needed it. He knew she meant more to him than just a friend, but he much like her, had never intended on exploring those feelings. But now after everything, despite knowing he's putting her in danger by coming around, Frank knows he needs her. He needs her help more than ever, and he knows deep down that Julie would understand.

When morning came Frank woke up to the smell of breakfast. Something he's missed more than he realized until now. In a bit of a groggy daze Frank wondered into the kitchen, dressed in the sleep clothes he found in the closet in the guestroom. "Mornin' bud." (Y/n) mused as she pushed a fresh cup of coffee his way. "Morning." He muttered as he slipped at the hot brew, slightly surprised she remembered how he likes his coffee.

"You want some breakfast?" She asked as she pulled two plates from the cupboard. "Please." He nodded his head in agreement. "Good because I made plenty." She mused with a smile, as she placed a plate in front of him. "I'm glad you're still here and you didn't slip away in the night." She added sincerely. "I half expected that last night would be the last time I'd ever see you." Her words cut him deeper than he would have expected, but he understood where she was coming from.

"Like I said, I need your help." Frank said earnestly. "Well then, what's the plan?" She asked as she sat beside him with her own plate. "I don't really have a plan, but for now I think we'll just take it one day at a time, and figure it all out." He shrugged. "Wow the Frank Castle doesn't have a plan, that's a first." (Y/n) joked, making him chuckle. "So are you planning on staying here?" She asked a few moments later. "No I don't want to put you at risk of being caught hiding a fugitive." He shook his head.

"I appreciate that." She hummed softly, having worried a bit about that last night. "I think it'll be best if I just come in the evenings when I need... Well a shoulder to lean on I guess." He said, picking at his food a little. "And when you need patched up I imagine." She added, trying to lighten the mood a bit, and Frank agreed with a small chuckle. "Yeah I'm sure I probably will come to you when I need patched up." He smiled at her before going back to eating his breakfast. "I'll be sure to stock up on some supplies." (Y/n) mused more to herself, than to Frank.

(Y/n)'s pager went off with a shrill beeping, signaling that it was time to get to work. Her partner letting her know they already had a new case to work on. "Well that's my queue, I've gotta get going. I'll see you later Frank, don't worry about the dishes, I'll deal with that when I get home." (Y/n) moved back into the kitchen, placing her half empty plate into the sink for now. "Hey (Y/n)." Frank called to her before she could rush off. "Yeah?" She asked, turning her attention to him. "Thank you, for everything." He stood from his seat, and crossed the room, pulling her into a hug. "You're welcome Frank." She hummed as she hugged him back, feeling as though she's already made a difference in his chaotic life.

Buy me a coffee sometime? ☕️

(Click the coffee for my Kofi link, IT'S NOT NECESSARY BTW.)

I honestly couldn't think of a better way of ending this one, but I hope it was satisfactory either way. I'm a little rusty, as I haven't consistently written in ages, so I apologize if it didn't turn out as good as you hoped. (゜-゜)

[hariet436]

As Belle, you have always known you would leave the palace. Even if clause 99 hadn’t existed, the princes are out of reach for you. The gap between the world that you and them live in was just too great to ever bridge.

That’s why you decided to outright deny having any feelings for them. You were being cruel. You told them that those moments you two spent together meant nothing to you, and that you two can never be anything. Oh, what a good actress you were not tearing up while uttering those cruel words in the most convincing way.

After a heated exchange of painful words and expressions, you were left alone in the room. As soon as the prince leaves, tears fell from your eyes. You didn’t try to stop it though. There was no sob, neither did you expression change. You just stood lifelessly there, letting the tears out as the hot liquid burnt on your cheeks and dripped to the floor. Yet the most unexpected thing happens - you hear the doorknob being turned!

1. Leon Dompteur

- he felt like he said something he shouldn’t have to you. With a small grunt, he opens the door with the intention of apologizing and asking to end things on a peaceful note.

- If parting ways is truly what you want, he had no choice but to respect that wish. Yet, he was his with the sight of you crying. Your eyes are so empty, so painful. In a rush, he strode urgently to you and wrapped his arms tightly around you, making you gasp.

- “W-why are you still here, Leon…!?”

- “If I hadn’t entered the room again, would you have continued to suffer alone like this? I should have known you were clearly lying earlier…”

- You two were going to have a much more honest conversation with each other. It was unclear what the future holds, but at least now that Leon know how you truly felt, he will never let go so easily of his beloved Belle.

2. Licht Klein

- Licht was hurt badly by your words. Was he really that unworthy of your time? Are you just that cold-hearted? Was the warmth he felt from you all a lie? He needed an answer. With that in mind, he re-entered the room, hoping you were still there.

- He froze upon seeing you silently crying with your eyes closed, your expression blank and empty, unlike he has ever seen before. Suddenly, everything clicked and there was a glimmer of hope in his ruby red eyes.

- “I knew it…” Licht mumbled quietly. You opened your eyes upon hearing the words being uttered, and was flustered when you see Licht there. You turned away out of shame, knowing you just said the cruelest things.

- Licht didn’t want to lose anyone he love anymore. With resolved steps, he made his way to you and embraced your body.

- “Please…if you act like this, both of us will be in pain. At least…I want to know what your heart desires the most.”

- The conversation wasn’t easy, but it was needed to figure out a solution that was optimal for both parties.

3. Yves Kloss

- Yves stomped into the kitchen, wanting to bake anything at all to vent his frustration. He was sure there was something between him and Belle, so he thought she would agree to his proposal that she stays in the palace. His mind races with embarrassment and a bit of anger. Was he the clueless one again?

- After half an hour, he finished making some rose pastries. The first person that pops up in his mind at that point wasn’t any of his brother, but Belle. Maybe he can make up for the argument earlier if he just give her the pastries made by the Yves Kloss!

- The first sight that greeted him was of Belle crying, her face behind her hands, scrambling to hide her puffy eyes. Yves panics and rushes inside the room.

- “W-wait, Belle, were you crying because of something I said…? I-I’m sorry! H-have some pastries…!” Yves tried to sooth her and patted her back. Feeling the warmth of this clumsy yet adorable gesture, you wiped your tears away.

- “No, it’s not your fault, Yves, please…”

- “Then what is it? Please tell me, Belle! I-I don’t want you to cry in solitude like I used to…”

- That afternoon, Belle and Yves had a heartfelt conversation. You have decided you won’t lie about your reverence for him anymore.

4. Jin Grandet

- unlike his brothers, Jin was sensitive to a woman’s feelings. He can pick up the signs that you were lying. But he can’t understand why - was she afraid of something? Maybe it was their difference in status…their worlds. Maybe parting ways was the best way for both of them.

- However, Jin’s heart was telling him otherwise. It was the love of his life! He should at least fight for it - or else he would feel continue to feel hollow - unable to express himself to anyone.

- With a determined mind, Jin opens the door only to witness Belle quietly sobbing, her pearly tears falling down the sides of her cheeks. She looks…solemn and sorrowful. No, if parting ways was just going to make them both like this for a lifetime, then he’d rather weather all of the court politics only to have Belle by his side.

- “Why weren’t you just honest from the start…” Jin sighs. He takes your hand and takes you out of the room. “Let’s go, Belle. We shall have a date together and you’ll change your mind about me!”

[inevitablysomber-dark]

Under The Radar 6

Dark! Steve Roger x Kiwi! Reader

Dividers by @Strangergraphics

Warnings:

This story contains themes of emotional manipulation, power imbalance, dubious consent, toxic relationships, and psychological control. It deals with difficult subjects such as forced dependency and mental/emotional abuse. Reader discretion is advised.

Description: Kiwi thought she had her life under control—until a chance invitation to the Maldives from her former friend pulls her into a web of manipulation and control. What starts as a luxurious vacation turns into a slow descent into captivity as Steve, the wealthy man funding her escape from reality, begins to tighten his grip on her life. Now trapped in a toxic relationship where affection becomes control, Kiwi must navigate a world where every decision is made for her, every boundary crossed, and escape seems impossible.

Is it too late to reclaim her freedom, or will she succumb to the life Steve has crafted for her?

Story Masterlist

The weight of it all felt crushing as I sat in my small, dimly lit apartment. The furniture I’d once been so proud of now mocked me a reminder of how quickly everything can fall apart. The life I’d fought so hard to build, the independence I’d clung to, was crumbling right in front of my eyes.

Sitting at my kitchen table, I stared at my laptop, scrolling through the same job listings I’d seen a thousand times. Every option felt like a dead end. My heart raced each time I filled out another application, hoping this one might be different. But deep down, I knew better.

No matter how many resumes I sent, how many interviews I nailed, Steve had his boot on my neck, and it felt like he was pressing down harder every day. This was a long, drawn-out game for him, and I was trapped on the board with no way off.

Out of sheer desperation, I grabbed my phone and started dialing a few of the connections I’d made back when I worked for Rogers and Co. Maybe one of them could offer some advice, a lead, anything to help me claw my way out of this nightmare. But each call was met with awkward hesitations and thinly veiled excuses.

“Sorry, Kiwi. I wish I could help, but…we’re not hiring right now.”

“We’ll keep your resume on file, but, you know…the market’s really tight.”

It was painfully clear: no one wanted anything to do with me. Not with Steve Rogers involved.

"Just say sorry," Natasha said. She’d called to check on me, and with everything piling up, I ended up venting it all. And this was her big advice.

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” I replied, feeling the frustration build.

“It doesn’t matter,” she sighed. “Steve feels wronged. So, unless you want to go back to barely scraping by or, worse, moving back in with your parents, you’re going to go to him and apologize."

The weight of everything was crushing me. My savings were dwindling fast, and rent was looming. With no steady income, my anxiety was through the roof. I needed answers. I needed him.

So, I called Steve. Blocked. His work number? Blocked. I even tried reaching out to human resources. No one picked up. It was like I didn’t exist anymore.

With no other options left, I did the only thing I could think of, I went to his house.

By the time I got there, I was a wreck. My mind was a mess of emotions—desperation, anger, shame. I had no idea what I was going to say or how this would go, but I needed to see him. I needed to fix this.

The guard, Curtis, stepped in front of me just as I reached the gated mansion. “I’m sorry, Kiwi, you can’t come in.” Sympathy softened his eyes.

Not that long ago, he’d greet me with a big smile and a cheerful "good morning." Amazing how quickly things could change.

“Please, Curtis, I just need to talk to him,” I pleaded, my voice shaky.

He shook his head, unmoved. “You know I can’t let you in. You’ll need to leave.” His voice soft and regretful

Panic was clawing at my chest. I knew Steve had to be home by now. As long as he didn’t have any impromptu meetings, he should be here. I just needed to stall a little longer.

I continued to beg, keeping Curtis distracted when I saw Steve’s sleek black SUV pulling up to the gate. My breath hitched as the window rolled down.

“Steve! Please!” I rushed to his car, desperation leaking from every word. But then I froze when I saw a girl in the passenger seat. Small, delicate, and almost terrified.

Steve rolled down his window, sunglasses on, face completely unreadable. "This is Lemon," he said smoothly, like introducing her was the most natural thing in the world. "She's my new PA."

The world tilted beneath me. My replacement. Lemon. She looked at me with wide, uncertain eyes, like she didn’t know whether to be worried or sorry.

I couldn’t speak. All I could do was stare at her, then back at Steve. She was everything I wasn’t-thin, polished, perfect. Her nails were immaculate, her hair shiny and neat. I glanced down at the soft pooch of my belly, the wideness of my hips. I could feel every flaw like it was magnified under a spotlight.

The car inched forward, and just as Curtis started to pull me back, I whispered, “Please... I’ll do anything.”

Steve’s car came to a sudden stop. He turned to me, then, after what felt like an eternity, he told Curtis to let me go.

It took me a second to process what he’d said. He was letting me in. I scrambled into the backseat, heart pounding, unsure of what to expect.

Steve was calm, collected, as he spoke to Lemon about tomorrow’s schedule. He told her which meetings to cancel, which to reschedule, even what kind of coffee he wanted in the morning. I listened in disbelief. He’d never done this with me. I always had to guess what he wanted, figure things out on my own. But with Lemon? Everything was smooth. Easy.

I couldn’t help the sinking feeling that washed over me. I felt like I was being crushed under the weight of my own inadequacy.

The car stopped at in front of Steve’s mansion as a servant came to collect the keys from him. Lemon stepped out, her heels clicking against the pavement, and Steve followed, giving her a few more instructions before dismissing her. I watched them, feeling completely out of place.

Steve knocked on the window, signaling for me to get out. I scrambled out of the car, still trying to make sense of everything as I followed him up the grand staircase. My breath was shaky, my legs heavy, and with each step, it felt like the walls were closing in around me.

By the time we reached his home office, I was suffocating under the realization that I had just walked right back into his world, willingly. And this time, I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it out.

Steve moved around the room, his back to me, busy with something I couldn’t focus on. My mind was spinning, trapped in the loop of my own panic and anger, trying to think of my next move. What the hell am I doing here?

It wasn’t until he stopped and stood directly in front of me that I snapped back into the moment. Without thinking, without giving myself time to reconsider, I slapped him…hard.

The sting on my palm wasn’t nearly enough to calm the storm inside me. Before he could even react, I hit him again, this time pounding my fists against his chest, pushing with everything I had. But he didn’t budge. It was like hitting a brick wall. He just stood there, solid, unaffected.

“How could you do this to me?” I screamed, tears burning my eyes. “How could you ruin me like this?”

My fists kept slamming into him. I couldn’t stop. “I worked so hard! I wasted so much time, so much effort on you!” My voice cracked, spilling out every bit of frustration that had been boiling beneath the surface for months.

Eventually, the fight drained out of me, my hands falling limp against his chest. But the words kept coming, tumbling out as tears streamed down my face. “You knew, Steve. You knew my situation. You knew I was struggling, and you still choose to play with my livelihood like it’s some kind of fucking game.”

I was sobbing now, choking on the unfairness of it all. “I did everything right,” I whispered “and I’m still fucked.”

I looked up at him, my vision blurry from the tears, and the truth spilled out before I could stop it. “You ruined my fucking life.”

Another wave of rage surged through me, and I raised my hand to slap him again. But this time, he caught me. His grip was firm as he grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward one of the chairs in his office, forcing me to sit down.

Steve didn’t react to my outburst. He didn’t even look angry. Instead, he stood in front of me, calm and collected, like I hadn’t just tried to claw at him.

“This is life,” he said, his voice maddeningly leveled. “No one’s going to cater to you for free.”

I screamed back, “I was your employee! You were supposed to treat me with some decency!”

He shook his head, as if I didn’t get it. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

His hands slid into his pockets; his gaze fixed on me. It was then that I noticed the way he positioned himself, never quite lowering to my level, leaving me at eye-level with his crotch. My stomach churned with the realization.

"I'm attracted to you," Steve admitted, his voice calm and unsettling. "I've had a thing for you since university." He paused, letting the words sink in. "I convinced Sharon to invite you to the Maldives so I could see you again, to... reconnect." He smirked, as if the memory amused him. "And during the trip, I fell for you all over again. It’s always been you."

"Did Sharon know?" I asked.

"Of course she did. Sharon always knew. She was just keeping your spot warm until you were ready for it. But her ego eventually got in the way."

I stared at him, utterly dumbfounded. What kind of twisted logic was this?

"She tried her best to keep you from going on the trip, but I was always a step ahead."

"And when she got sick? Was that your plan too?"

"Just luck," he replied, a hint of satisfaction in his tone. "But it made it a hell of a lot easier to get close to you."

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, looking away, not sure what else to say. “I didn’t realize.”

Steve’s expression hardened, a flicker of something darker crossing his face. “Bullshit,” he spat. “You didn’t want to realize.”

I opened my mouth to argue but stopped myself. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered now. I was ruined, jobless, broke, and desperate.

“Please,” I began, my voice trembling, “if you won’t hire me back as your assistant, could you at least help me get hired at another department? Or, if you’re still interested in... dating me…maybe you could find me something elsewhere, another company maybe?”

Steve chuckled, the sound low and dark, making my skin crawl. He began to circle me slowly, touching my hair in the process. But when he spoke again, his voice was firm and cold. “Dating?” He laughed again, this time with more venom. “We’ll be doing a lot more than just dating.” He stopped in front of me, leaning down just slightly, and I could feel the weight of his presence pressing down on me.

“What do I get in return?” he begins in a low voice, then raises it, “Ungratefulness? Boundaries?!”

 I froze.

Steve’s eyes locked onto mine, his voice dropping into a whisper that chilled me to the bone. “I want you. And I don’t mind giving you a comfortable life. A life where you’ll never have to worry about money again. But if you want that, you’ll live under my thumb. You’ll have to be mine, in every way.”

My breath caught in my throat. I knew what he was offering, it was everything I thought I wanted at the cost of my freedom, my dignity. “It’s up to you.” He straightens his body slightly widening his stance “What do you want me to do?” I whispered. Silently accepting the offer.

I swallowed, my pride sinking into my chest. I had always been so careful, so determined to keep Steve at a distance, to not let him pull me into this world entirely. But now…

The room felt too small, the air too thick. My hands trembled as I clenched them into fists on her lap.

Steve just smirked and his eyes trailed downwards, I followed his line of sight. A sizeable bulge formed, struggling against the zipper of his slacks. I wanted to cry again, Steve probably sensing this “It’s ok, you’ll be able to handle it, you were able to before”

His words take me aback. "What’s that supposed to mean?" I ask.

“You don’t remember all the fun we had that last week in the Maldives? Or when we got back to my mansion?”

I try to recall, but it’s all a blur. Every memory from that time feels hazy; all I remember is feeling constantly nauseous and exhausted.

“What did you do?” I asked

He grins, as if he’s holding on to a secret.

“Welp, it doesn’t matter now.” He moves to unzip his pants freeing his cock from its constraints, and there it was. Solid, looking angry and red with thick veins bulging all over. “We have other matters to attend to.”

I start shaking my head frantically, trying to pull away, but Steve grips my shoulder to hold me still.

"Ah, ah," he says, tone firm. "We're way past that. And remember, things can only get worse from here on out. Don’t just think about yourself, consider your parents and everything they worked so hard for. I can drag this out for as long as I want"

My attention broke once his cock twitched in my face.

This was thrilling for him. Whether it was the idea of me submitting or the prospect of a twisted game of cat and mouse, it hit me…I would never be free of Steve Rogers. I looked up at him, eyes pleading, silently begging him to let me keep my dignity. But he didn’t care.

"I'm waiting," he says in a mocking tone, lifting my chin with his finger before resting his hands on his hips, clearly patronizing me.

I look up to the ceiling a moment trying to hold my tears back, before being forced to face his cock again.

With shaky hands, I went to grab his shaft, it felt so hot, burning almost.

“Go ahead.” He coaxed.

I drew my head closer, sticking out my tongue, this was actually happening. Steve wasn’t going to stop me, and I will forever be known as the woman who whored herself out for a fucking job. God only knows what they’d say, if Steve decided to make this a habit. ‘Oh, look it’s the girl who trades pussy for benefits,’.

My tongue made contact with the head, it felt warm, and his musk quickly invaded my senses.

Fuck it.

I just needed to get to the other side of this, and the best way to do it was to dive in it. I did my best to pull him into my mouth, but he was so big, and girthy. When I heard his moans, I started a game plan, building a rhythm I could get used to, so I wouldn’t be too uncomfortable.

But as always, Steve had to fuck that up. He immediately grabbed the back of my head and began swiftly pushing his cock in and out of my mouth. At first, he was gentle, or as gentle as one could be in this situation. Then he was forcing more of himself deeper, and before I knew it, his pubic region was pushing right up against my nose, hairs and all.

I couldn’t take it; I could feel my body preparing to vomit as I began to wretch. I frantically slapped at Steve’s thighs, to make him stop, but he just went harder. My spit started foaming around the areas where my mouth met his cock, dripping down my chin and falling onto my chest.

Tears pouring through my eyes as I begged for this to be over. Steve eventually did meet his climax, forcefully pushing my head into his crotch as he came down my throat, shivering from his climax. making it extremely difficult to breathe. I tried to push against him, but he was so much stronger.

Just as it felt like I was about to faint, he let go. I coughed and gagged, doing my best to compose myself despite the circumstances.

“That was your punishment” he made a grab for my chin, forcing me to look up at him. “Next time I won’t be so nice.”

He paused, looking deeply into my eyes, as I struggled for air, a breathless chuckle escaping from his lips “You look so fucking beautiful right now” the smile on his face looking so genuine. Then he pulled me into a deep kiss, his tongue invading my mouth. After what feels like several minutes, he finally separates from me.

“Get up, let’s go.”

He stands straight, and begins fixing his clothes, tucking in his shirt and zipping up his pants.

I find a tissue box on his desk and reach for, before I could pull out a sheet, his hand slaps my own away.

“No, I want you to stay like that for the rest of the day”

I try to protest, but then there’s a knock on the door. I’m unable to gather my thoughts before Bucky walks in, he stops looking between the two of us before smirking and greeting Steve.

"Hey, Kiwi, long time no see." He strolls over to the couch near the entrance and sits down. "Heard you had a great time in the Maldives, too bad I couldn’t make it." He grins, throwing me a wink as he settles in.

Lemon comes in behind him, and I’m just about ready to start crying again, I expected a look of judgment from her, but she seemed more apologetic, and a bit off kilter. Her clothes ragged, and though still shiny, her hair wasn’t as neat as I saw it earlier that day. Steve sits on the chair next to mine. Lemon and Bucky on the couch off to the side.

They start talking business, as I do my best to shrink into myself trying not to burst into tears from embarrassment.

I peeked up at the trio once more and as Steve and Bucky were speaking Lemon was looking right at me. No judgment, and for once, oddly enough, I felt understood.

That couldn’t be a good thing.

After Steve's meeting with Bucky, he gave me a subtle gesture to follow him. My legs felt heavy, but I couldn’t resist. I glanced at Lemon, who looked shaken, her eyes wide with the same fear I felt inside. That’s when it hit me: both of us were trapped. Steve had me, and Bucky had her. We were just pieces in their game.

I followed Steve down the hall, the sound of my footsteps echoing off the polished floors, my mind flashing back to the last time I was in his bedroom, after the Maldives trip. The memories of that night started creeping in, tightening my chest. I swallowed the fear as Steve led me to the bedroom.

Without saying a word, he started undressing, peeling off his shirt, then unbuckling his pants. Every movement made the panic in my chest rise, and my body stiffened. I was bracing for... something. Something I wasn’t ready for.

But then, he stopped. His pants halfway down, he looked at me with a strange expression, irritation lacing his voice. "What are you doing? You know where the bathroom is. Go and get cleaned up."

His command stunned me. I hadn’t expected the reprieve, but I took it. I turned and made my way to the bathroom, feeling the tension in my shoulders ease slightly. When I entered, I noticed a silk nighty hanging from the shower curtain rod. It was dark red with black lace trim. My fingers instinctively reached out to touch it, the fabric smooth and delicate under my fingertips. Next to the sink was a packaged toothbrush and new toothpaste…the exact brand I used at home.

I stared at it for a moment, my mind swirling with questions. How did he know? How long had he been preparing for this?

I shook myself out of my daze and focused on getting clean. The warm water from the shower helped ease some of the tension, but my thoughts were everywhere, wondering what would happen next.

As I scrubbed myself clean I heard the bathroom door open I scrubbed myself clean, brushed my teeth, and finally slipped into the nighty. The material clung to my skin, unfamiliar and intimate. I still had my underwear from earlier, but I couldn’t help but feel exposed, and a little gross.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, the room was dark. Steve was already in bed, his back turned, but his presence filled the space. I hesitated in the doorway, unsure what to do next. The weight of the night felt suffocating.

Apparently, I stood there too long because his voice cut through the darkness, annoyed and sharp. "Turn off the bathroom light and come to bed."

I flicked the switch, plunging the room into complete darkness, and carefully made my way to the bed. Sliding onto the mattress, I tried to stay on my side, giving him space. But before I could settle in, Steve shifted. He moved closer, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me toward him.

I was his little spoon.

His chest pressed against my back, his warmth radiating through the thin fabric of the nighty. His breath was slow and steady against my neck, but my own breathing became shallow, panic clawing at my insides. I could feel the weight of his arm holding me in place, his grip firm but not aggressive.

Still, it felt like a cage.

I tried to calm myself, counting my breaths, telling myself that this was just sleep. But every inch he moved, every time his body shifted closer, I felt the walls closing in. Panic started to set in again, and I didn’t know how to stop it.

As Steve closed the space between us, his body pressed firmly against mine, something felt off, too much skin, too much warmth. A sudden realization hit me like ice water down my spine.

"You’re not wearing any underwear," I said quietly, my voice betraying the unease building in my chest.

I felt his hand travel down to my pelvis, fingers brushing against the fabric of my underwear. There was a pause, and in a low, disappointed tone, he muttered, "And you are."

The words sent a chill through me, sharper than the night air. His disappointment felt like a judgment, hanging between us in the dark. My mind raced, but my body remained frozen, trapped in the tension of the moment.

“Take it off” he demands

At first, my body tensed, ready to fight back, a surge of defiance pushing through me. But a quick glance at my surroundings. the darkness of the room, the heaviness of Steve’s presence, and the knowledge of how trapped I really was.

So, I relented.

I moved to slip off my underwear, trying to keep my breaths steady, hoping the tremor in my hands wasn’t too obvious. Steve shifted slightly, pulling away just enough to give me space to do what he wanted, his silence suffocating as I removed the last piece of fabric that gave me any kind of security.

When I was done, he wasted no time. His arm wrapped around me once more, tighter than before, pulling me in like I was something he owned. His hand settled back on my pelvis, the warmth of his skin against mine, and I felt his breath hot against my ear as he whispered, "That’s better."

The words crawled under my skin, leaving me cold despite the heat of his body pressed against mine. I swallowed hard, forcing myself to lie still, my mind racing even though my body was now as motionless as his grip allowed.

He started moving, his hands roaming over my body, rubbing, groping, pulling at my skin like I was clay in his hands. He couldn’t seem to stay still, his movements growing more aggressive with each passing second. His fingers kneaded my hips, his palms pinched the soft flesh of my thighs, and his body ground into mine, the weight of him pressing me deeper into the mattress.

I could feel his breath quicken, hear the faint growl rumbling in his chest as he kissed down my ear to my neck, his lips hot and greedy against my skin. Every kiss, every touch, sent a wave of nausea rolling through me, but I was too overwhelmed to push him off.

The scent of him, clean, sharp, and suffocating was all I could breathe in, clouding my senses, making it hard to think straight. My body felt heavy, pinned beneath him as his weight shifted, trapping me further against the bed.

His growling became louder, more animalistic, as his lips moved lower, his hands grasping me tighter. I closed my eyes, willing myself to detach, to float above the moment even as his presence consumed every inch of me.

With a careful thrust he pushed his cock between the crease of my thighs, pushing against my pussy.

A sigh released from his chest as he stills. The space naturally damp due to my just getting out of the shower, alongside my plumper physique.

A few moments pass before he starts moving again, causing friction against my lower lips, occasionally rubbing up against my clit. As his movements become more frantic, he grabs of my breasts, and begins pinching and pulling at my nipples.

My own excitement begins to flourish as his movements speed up, and before I know it he stills as his warm liquid spills between my legs.

He takes some time to gather himself, and when I think he’s done, a hand is pulled off one of my breasts, traveling down to my pubis, and pressing his fingers against my clit. Carefully, he begins rolling my button between his fingers, whispering in my ear. “You feel so good” I feel him shift, pulling back slightly before I realize what’s happening. He pushes inside me, and a sharp squeal escapes my lips. Steve growls, his grip tightening around me, holding me firmly in place with no room for escape. Every thrust is deliberate, his body pressing harder into mine as his fingers find their way to my most sensitive spot.

The sensations hit me all at once, my body betraying me as the overwhelming pressure builds. I can’t hold back, and before I know it, I’m trembling, the wave of pleasure crashing over me as I reach my climax.

I rarely experience this feeling, so I keep still, trying to pull myself back from the edge of euphoria. My body was betraying me, and I could hear the wet, unmistakable sound of his movements filling the room. Steve suddenly stops, letting out a breath before chuckling softly.

He hugs me tightly, his body pressing firmly against mine as if nothing had just happened.

"Goodnight," he says, his voice low and satisfied, as though everything was perfectly normal.

I lay there, frozen, the weight of him pinning me in place, unsure if I’d ever truly wake from this.

I close my eyes, trying to make sense of everything, but my thoughts tangle like a knot I can't untie. The weight of the situation pressed down on me, suffocating, yet exhaustion finally won. As the darkness pulled me under, I could only hope that when I woke up, this would all turn out to be a nightmare, one that I was desperate to escape from, waiting for it to end. 

[poindexters-labratory]

Uhhhm, vent, I guess? I'm just trying to put my feelings into words because it bridges that gap between my thoughts and verbalizing.

Um, there's a bit of a breakdown, and I start talking to myself. Also, talking about emotional trauma. I just kinda wanted to get out somewhere. Sorry to use a public platform, but I don't really have a safe person to rely on.

I'm a very slow thinker. I always have been. I'm not witty or able to absorb information very quickly. I can pretend like I do, and it seems like I do, but my mannerisms and patterns of speech are a result of me desperately trying to keep up. Trying to keep my head above water.

My processing speed has always made me vulnerable. I can't keep up fast enough in open conversation when it comes to groups of people. On top of that, I have mild deafness in an ear on top of autism and ADHD, which makes audio processing extremely difficult. Over time, I've learned to become agreeable, easy to manage, and quiet.

But that life gets lonely. Listening in on conversations you'd like to be a part of, being the last one included, the last one invited, the last one considered, the first one abandoned. I wouldn't say that the experience has made me bitter or cold, but I do have some level of expected disappointment. And I get stressed when there's no attention put on me.

I've always been the kid who has been overlooked in class or at home. My family hardly knows what I want for my birthday, I don't have close friends, even when I like to say that everyone I talk with is my friend, I don't have a best friend. Everyone deserves to have a best friend, right?

It sucks to feel like I should apologize for being sensitive, for being quiet, for being naive, but I am. I feel like I'm no fun as a person. I'm literal, and we're living in an age where all our insecurities are hidden behind a layer of sarcasm and jokes that I just can't seem to wrap my head around. I'm easily scared by the jokes people say.

Not to mention traumatized from a life in an emotionally unstable environment. Terrified that if I made the tiniest mistake, the people around me would blow up in my face.

I weep for the child who learned how to open his school binder silently in class or hide in his room to avoid the potential of screaming downstairs.

The child who hid his entire personality for years to avoid conflict.

The child whose lost friend after friend, in every single location he's been to and left.

And I'm enraged. I had no other choice. And I'm scared. All my life, I've taught myself that if I just shut up, then no one will ever hurt me. If I just shut up, then I'll be safe from everyone.

"I'm too stupid for conversation anyway, I'm too slow to be a part of a group, to have a seat at the table, and I will finally be safe because the only things anyone has ever been interested in are shoving things that in the way and stepping on things that are too small."

That is a horrible thing for a child to convince himself of.

All of this is probably why I have NPD (narcissistic personality disorder). I convince myself on especially bad days that I'm obviously just better even though I consciously know it not to be true, and everyone is jealous, and that's why no one is talking to you. I have this deep desire to be admired in impossible ways, and I struggle immensely when I have absolutely no attention.

I need people to love me. I shouldn't give a reason because if I was loved and given attention properly, then we would be here.

"Am I really that awful? I can't possibly be. I'm positively normal and well-mannered and polite. I'm almost too nice. Sickeningly sweet. If people see how good I can be, then there's no reason why they wouldn't want to be my friend, right?

But I don't want to be too overbearing. I don't want to be too chatty. People hate people who talk too much. Especially when they talk about the same thing for hours. Especially when they can't take the joke. Don't be so serious, don't be so concerned, just fade into the background, and be as unremarkable as possible.

But I'd like to be noticed. I want that attention. I want the attention for saying something, doing something. Make the conversation about me, talk to me. Please talk to me, don't you see me? Don't you know how cool and remarkable I am, I can do all these amazing things, and I know all this information. Won't you like me?"

I also expect people to read my mind because that's what I do for them. I wait and pray that someone will notice the person sitting in the corner by himself. It hasn't quite worked yet.

So, now I imagine myself sitting in a field surrounded by people rushing around me. And I'm waiting. I've been sitting in this field for a while, envious of the people who walk by with someone in tow. I would like to be someone's someone.

It would be a lie if I said I didn't think about it often. I'm not interested in romance, I just want someone to be silly with, who I'm safe with, who likes to fool around sometimes, who's just there with me. Hell, it doesn't have to be one person. I just love people. An extrovert who's all alone is so depressingly ironic.

I don't have the answers or the steps to find the answer, but I know that it will unfortunately take time. Life will continue, and I will continue it by myself until I fortunately don't have to anymore. Until I won't be alone anymore. I feel like it will take as much time as it needs to.

[causenessus]

[ 💌 ] INCOMING MAIL !

A LETTER FROM REE — TO — NESS HAS ARRIVED BY CARRIER PIGEON ♡ °⋆ 🕊️🕊️🕊️📮

ANYONE WHO ISNT NESS DNI DNR DO NOT LOOK. SCROLL AWAY I’M ABOUT TO GO TO SAPTOWN AND I AM EMBARRASSED THESE ARE MY DEMONS DO NOT PERCEIVE ME OR THIS ASK EVER. THIS IS FOR ONE PERSON ONLY. AND IT’S SUPER LONG ! YOU DONT WANT TO SEE THIS OR READ IT. LEAVE. THE DOOR IS THAT WAY.

ask/note: the last time I logged on I saw that you weren’t doing so well and attempted to write a suna + noya how they comfort you style fic and failed…MISERABLY. this is probably late and might not be of any use to you but the ghost of letters came over me and it’s spirit is whispering in my ear to write this (it’s my forte: letters, and I’m sure I could do it way better than writing when writers block is hitting more than it’s ever…. hitteth ,,,, <- ignore that)

dear ness,

first of all ! when I say you’re THE sweetest I mean it, so so so genuinely. you exude warmth and kindness and I truly believe without you tumblr would be a dull and soulless platform

second of all ! whenever you say something self deprecating about yourself I feel like knocking someone out. deep desires to harm someone or break something and just violence. crimes of some kind

I KNOW IT MIGHT NOT SET IN FOR YOU BUT IF I NEED TO SAY IT 100x FOR IT TO SEEP INTO YOUR BRAIN PROPERLY I WILL!! I KNOW YOU’RE AN OVERTHINKER!! I’M GOING TO HOLD YOUR HAND WHILE YOU OVERTHINK!!

there is nothing you’ve put out that I’ve ever disliked in the slightest if not loved entirely — when you said wdo inspires a lot of try again, to say I’m honored is a huge understatement and I believe you are out of everyone’s league; you’re an incredible writer and we don’t deserve you (I’m glad we have you though)

besides your writing, I cannot imagine a world nor a universe where I would enjoy tumblr as much as I do without you existing. I hate to mention wdo so much but it’s hard not to seeing that it was the first time we properly interacted sorry 😭 ..by the time I got to working in that fic I didn’t feel like I belonged on here and you made me feel welcomed :) I don’t think I would still be here or have met everyone that I did without you and I can’t ever thank you enough — you are kind and down to earth and so considerate, and I would give you the world if I could <333

third, last but not least, IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE AT YOUR BEST ! if you need a break we’ll be here when you come back !! you were the catalyst that made tumblr my home and if the apocalypse happened and wiped out everyone on the planet I’d be the last one standing — my motivation to survive was to be there for every causenessus post

IT IS NORMAL TO NOT UPLOAD EVERY DAY OR UPDATE FICS !! EVEN PUBLISHED AUTHORS GO MONTHS WITHOUT TOUCHINGN A PIECE OF WORK !! FANFICTION AUTHORS SHOULD BE SPARED!! ESPECIALLY YOU!! you’ve grinded and given us all these great fics, anyone impatient can take that time to go and reread ur other works instead of complain, I’m sure cold kisses and new grounds wouldn’t mind

I hope that no matter what happens outside of this silly little app: ur aware that my dms are open 24/7 and I mean that when I say it. It won’t require an apology or small talk — if you need to vent or a boredom cure I’ll always be here !!! always !!! I’m a no judgement zone and I CARE ABOUT YOU IMMENSELY AND I WANT YOU TO DO WELL ! I WANT YOU TO BE WELL ! I pray this letter feels like a bouquet of flowers on your doorstep with handmade chocolates from and a real sized suna placing it down there to give you the biggest hug of the century because it’s the bare fucking minimum for all the hard work you do (and before you say anything about slacking off, living is hard work — and I think you’ve done a spectacular job <3) ! this ask is the longest I’ve ever sent I think I set a record 🙂‍↕️ at the very least I hope it made you smile :)

with all my love,

ree.

REE THE MOODBOARD???? THE PICTURES???? REE I AM GOING TO SCREENSHOT THIS AND FRAME IT ON MY WALL /GEN I DON'T WORK IN FRAMING FOR NOTHING!! THIS IS SO SO SWEET <3 AND DW OMG :( THANK YOU FOR TRYING TO WRITE COMFORT AND IT'S TOTALLY OKAY IT DIDN'T WORK OUT!! (i am looking at the five discarded fics in my drafts rn)

ree i cannot i'm going to throw up /pos and i've only read the first paragraph!! REE I THINK YOU'RE OUT OF EVERYONE'S LEAGUE <3 you are genuinely so so sweet and creative and just have the most beautiful mind ever the way that you put so much effort and creativity and imagination into every single thing you do like look at this letter!! look at how you formatted it and matched color palettes and i just cannot tell you how thankful i am for you thank you so much ree <3

and omg no don't worry about mentioning wdo too much at all!! REE IT WAS SO GOOD I COULD NEVER NOT BE HAPPY TO SEE A REFERENCE OR READ SOMETHING ABOUT WDO!! and i'm so so glad that i could help you feel more welcome BC YOU'RE LITTERALLY OUT OF ALL OF OUR LEAGUES!!! IT'S LIKE IF I?? IDK LIKE OPENED THE DOOR AND GREETED UMMMMMMM TOM HOLLAND AT THE DOOR?? AND TREATED HIM LIKE A STRANGER AND THEN HE WALKED INTO THE PARTY AND BUSTED IT DOWN AND EVERYONE LIKE KNEW HIM AND CHEERED HIM ON YK??? like you are so amazing!!! you didn't need an introduction you just needed to come into the haikyuu fandom and bless us all with your writing yk !! (i'm so sorry i cannot find the words in my head to describe my vision for what i'm trying to tell you and i have no idea why tom holland was the first person that came to mind but i hope you get what i mean!!!)

and omg please ree thank you so much for reminding me of how okay it is to take breaks and not post everyday <33 you are so so sweet and i hope that you've been doing well after taking your breaks and everything!! i am so sorry it took me so long to get to this BUT I AM SO HONORED TO HAVE RECEIVED THIS LETTER AND I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM JUST NOW SEEING YOU MOVED BLOGS?? BUT I THINK I FOUND IT AND WILL BE FOLLOWING IT ASAP AS SOON AS I FINISH SAP YAPPING IN THIS ASK!!!

ree i cannot tell you how thankful i am for all of our interactions and the memories we've made and for helping me with the stupid "a (technically an)" or "my" struggle during the makings of love notes and for literally just always being there for me!! please know my dms and everything are always always open to you too and i love you so much!! i hope you see this despite already moving blogs 😭 and i'm so sorry i'm just now finding out about it!!!! but you are the literally the best ree i am so thankful for you <33

[randomgentlefolk]

What happened Mono? 👀

Here's a small sketch of Jellie that I meant to lineart and post for pride month, but never get the energy or will to

It's all vent down there and like why I haven't been posting much. Um, I don't know what to put here as a warning so I'll try my best. Read at your own risk because it might contains mental health topics (the bad one ejjsisj).

(READ ⬇️⬇️⬇️)

Maybe some things here may be concerning, but please do not report this post. I really don't want anyone else like my family members to know about my problems. I don't know what would happen.

To start of, I would like to apologize for not posting frequently or soon, especially my cpc review and drawing posts.

I honestly don't remember why I started posting cpc review posts. I think at that time, younger me did it out of fun and all. I understand where they are coming from haha. Unfortunately, as time goes on, I can't keep up with posting in the right time and schedule. And the more I do this, the more it feels like a chore. I appreciate people who likes my review posts, I really do! But I can't help but become more and more tired everyday. It has very little to do with some review posts of course, haha! It's just, I guess something's wrong with me. Don't worry tho, I can try to figure it out. I don't want to burden anyone, so please do not worry about me. Maybe I seem off sometimes, or I joke about concerning things, or I don't post anything in my tumblr or discord (replying in this case), but it's fine, really. No one did anything wrong, there's just something wrong with me (as I said before).

Maybe I'm just lazy lmao, that's probably the case. I'm too lazy to do anything nowadays, even something simple. Idk why, so I think that's something I should figure out. Anyway long story short, I'm starting to lose interest on things I usually adore. I still love cpc though. That's something I'm holding tightly on.

..okay maybe I'm not fine, but I'll be fine. Yeah. I'll figure out what's wrong with me and try to help myself. Don't worry about me. There are lots of other things I wanna say, but I don't want to open up too much. I'm not, uh, used to it.

Conclusion! I'm taking a break from posting cpc reviews right now, just like how lambcat is in hiatus right now ^^ I heard she hurt her arm/hand? I hope she gets better soon :d

Uh, maybe I will take a break? Don't make me promise that. Because there might be a small chance I get small burst of energy and decide to write one after all lmao. I guess this whole post can be the explanation if I don't post anything soon. I'm sorry, I'll try my best.

I don't think I'm saying any of this properly. I'm sorry. I'm really tired.

Mono out, and hopefully I'll be in sometime soon

[fortpeat]

What is a little thing you have always enjoyed? What's a small comfort that always makes you happy?

Hey nonnie ❤️☺️

Oh boy this is such a question 🫣 I don't even know where to begin. This might either end in a simple way or I might go on to write an essay but first of all I wanted to apologize coz I wasn't in a good place to reply to you but I am kind of okay now so let me start.

It doesn't take much to make me happy. The rain makes me happy. A baby looking at me makes me happy. Someone suddenly appreciating my work over here on Tumblr out of the blue makes me happy. Seeing my glow in the dark stars at night before going to sleep makes me happy. My jasmine scented candle makes me happy. Music helps me. Cleaning my room makes me happy. Fortpeat interactions make me happy. Talking to my friends makes me happy. All these little things make me happy truly.

But there are days where none of this helps me. Where I feel so lost in perpetual darkness that it feels endless. Where none of the above things that are meant to make me happy helps in the way it should. Sometimes I try to fight my way out of it but other times I just want to sit in that darkness and cry my heart out. Those are the hardest days you know. Where nothing feels right or everything feels hopeless. Like have you ever wondered if you have been cursed or something coz everyone around you seems to get their life on track and able to follow their dreams while you are stuck in this same place where you can't even envision your own future. And it's not for your lack of trying but more like no matter how much you try nothing seems to work the way you want to, and you just want to give up coz you are so tired of trying and trying and you are at your limits. Some days I barely am holding on to that thread of hope to get through that day coz I tell myself there are people who are suffering more than me out there. At least you have a roof over your head and food on your table. And this helps you know. It helps to put things in perspective and it feels like I could breathe a little bit. But sometimes even that doesn't help. So I just wallow in my miserableness and get through the day hoping tomorrow will be better. Sometimes it takes days to get through that kind of darkness or even weeks but I am confident that I will get through it like I have done so many times in the past.

Geez I am sorry for going on a ramble there. I don't know if you expected this when you asked that question but thank you for asking. It was nice to vent it out 🫣. Hopefully I didn't scare you off 🫣🫣

[cantstayawaycani]

I don't want to jump to conclusions and I'm still keeping an open mind to new info that might come out as well as trying to remain neutral about both parties. However I have the impression that people are associating being a selfish lover and liking kinky sex with different women with SA. Especially with Fernanda's statement, it sounds like she is most likely complaining about Tenoch being a selfish lover rather than actually getting abused and she might have deleted the tweets because pages online were misinterpreting her words and advertising the articles as "Fernanda accuses Tenoch of sexual assault" but that's not what she meant? It's just an idea. I hope whoever is innocent gets justice and whoever is guilty pays for it.

Hey anon. I got this around 3:45 in the morning. I have insomnia right now, and I was awake and saw it but was way too tired to answer.

I didn't sleep much, but I did think about what I read here in your ask. And I went into a bit more deep reflective thought, internally focused, trying to understand something.

Well, I got up, made myself a coffee and did some work. Now I'm ready to answer this ask. You didn't ask for what I'm about to say, you just came here to lay your thoughts out so you can make sense of them.

But here is my answer. The bald face truth is that, we don't want him to be guilty. I am saying "we" here. Because I understand, that yes, I am a fair person. And yes, I am not quick to judgement and condemnation. But I ask myself: "why am I doing all this research for these asks?" "Why do I have this wait and see attitude?"

Why are you speculating on motivation and trying to interpret meaning in these accusations other than what they already imply? Because we don't want him to be guilty.

I know about myself that I am hardwired to believe victims who speak out about their sexual assault/abuse/harrassment.

I understand about myself that I do not want Tenoch to be guilty of this.

That is as raw a truth as I can pull from myself. And that is a hard truth to look at and admit.

There are many reasons for this. None of them superficial or grotesque, the way criticizers would accuse. But I don't need to go into detail about any of that. It wouldn't be understood anyway.

The point is, our "neutrality' is rooted in bias. Bias towards not wanting to believe Tenoch is guilty.

I think we're doing ourselves a disservice by trying to figure these allegations out. I, personally, am going to stop. We have no control over how this plays out and it's not about us.

We should engage in self care by taking a step back, examining our own thoughts and emotions, and giving ourselves a break from the personal responsibility we feel to rationalize the existence of these allegations.

That's just my advice to you. You don't personally need to build a case. It's OK to wait to see how it plays out. But I would advise not to go so far down the rabbit hole of speculation and rationalization, that you lose your ability to be truly objective.

We're not wrong, we're only human. But I think we should always be trying to do better for ourselves.

I absolutely adore the small community of fans I found here. I hope what I've said above makes sense? I apologize if it contorted the purpose of sending me the ask. My inbox is open if you still need to vent, but I don't think I will do the speculation on these allegations anymore, if that's OK. I've said about as much as I possibly can about them.

And I'm not going to wait around for more news anymore. I'm going to move on from it. Things will happen when they happen.

Sorry for the wait and the long reply! I hope you are gentle with yourself and take some time away from thinking about this. It's out of your hands hon.

[rey-jake-therapist]

Lost Souls: chapter 3

Chapter 2 (mind the trigger warning) is here.

Summary:

"Mina couldn't help but feel a kinship with Jake. Despite being the type of man she had always tried to avoid, he had a way of making her feel at ease and opening up to him. He had told her earlier, "I know I'm still a stranger," and yet, strangely enough, she found herself divulging her darkest secrets to him." When Jake took Mina to one of his favorite diners, and they realized they had more in commun than they thought.

Fortunately, the noise of her heels clacking along the pavement made him turn around. She slowed down a bit, but was still breathless when she finally caught up to him. As he watched her approach with curiosity, she felt her heart racing.

“Fuck,” Mina gasped for breath as she caught up to Jake's brisk pace. "You walk fast!" she exclaimed, trying to catch her breath.

Jake shrugged nonchalantly, "I didn't think you were following me," he replied, then added, "If you're looking for the burger place, it's the other way."

Mina blushed in embarrassment. "Oh, no, I mean, I'm starved," she admitted, "I just felt like I hadn't apologized enough. What happened up there was..." She trailed off, unsure of how to explain the events that had just unfolded.

"I'm not even sure what happened," she finally admitted, letting out a short, bitter laugh.

"Don't apologize, I'm fine," Jake replied softly. "Are you alright? You seemed to want me out of your sight earlier, so I left, but I'm not mad or anything. If I did something to upset you, I'm sorry," he added, his eyes focused intently on hers.

Mina looked up at him, surprised at his concern. "You didn't do anything wrong," she said, shaking her head. "It's just me...I'm messed up. I thought I was ready for this," she trailed off, her voice barely above a whisper.

Jake didn't respond immediately, but his warm gaze never left hers. "I understand," he said finally, his voice low and soothing. " ‘Wanna grab some food with me?"

Mina felt a small smile tug at the corners of her lips. "Sure, if you let me pay," she replied.

"You bet you will," Jake retorted with a grin.

Twenty minutes later, Mina and Jake were seated in a typical American diner, digging into large, greasy burgers served by a grumpy waitress. As they ate, Mina felt the weight of the evening lifting from her shoulders. For the first time since the conference room, she felt like she could breathe again.

"Do you think we should prove the waitress right and throw up our burgers?" Mina joked, gesturing towards the disgruntled woman in the kitchen who was complaining about people like them, who partied for hours, came there drunk and puked on her floor.

"Definitely," Jake replied with a chuckle. He then pretended to retch, making Mina burst out laughing.

"I like your laugh," Jake said, smiling at her. "Do you feel better now?"

Mina smiled back at him, feeling grateful for his company. "I do," she replied honestly. "You were right, I did need to eat."

She checked her phone for the first time since she had listened to Johnny’s voicemail. She was surprised to find five texts from her husband; the first one was an apology for his atrocious voicemail, while the other four were pleas for her to call him back and come home so they could talk and resolve their issues. It wasn’t the first time they had fought and gone days without speaking before one of them asked for forgiveness. However, unlike the other times, Mina didn't feel inclined to call him back.

When she had returned to the smokehouse and kissed Jake, she had felt a tremendous sense of liberation that she hadn't experienced in years. Even after the debacle in the conference room, she wasn't ready to relinquish this feeling yet. It wasn't about Jake or getting revenge on those who had wronged her: it was solely about her.

As she let out a sigh, Jake inquired, "Do you want to talk about it? I know we're still practically strangers, but if you need to vent… I'm here." He joked, "It's not as if I have better things to do anyway."

Mina was once again taken aback by Jake's unexpected compassion and chuckled nervously. "Not even see your girlfriend?"

Jake rolled his eyes and scoffed. "I said she's not… Whatever. She's probably asleep by now or complaining about me somewhere. Plus, would you appreciate it if a guy came over in the middle of the night smelling like another woman? Been there, done that already. It didn't end well," he confessed, grinning. Mina let out a brief laugh and confessed, "I'd probably kick him out."

Jake raised his eyebrows and snatched a fry from her plate, dipping it in her ketchup before eating it. Mina groaned. "Are we already so close that you're stealing my food?" she asked, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

In response, Jake playfully licked the ketchup off his finger. Mina giggled and murmured, her chin on her hand, "Oh my…" She gazed at his face and momentarily lost herself in his piercing blue eyes. She was once again struck by his beauty and sharp wit, and felt a twinge of remorse as she remembered how cruelly she had spurned him.

“Seriously, why aren’t you with her? You must care for what she thinks of you at least a little, or you wouldn’t have lied to her,” Mina teased Jake, who shrugged.

“Yeah, I guess I fumbled the bag with her,” he mumbled. “She’s a nice girl! She’s way too nice for me actually, way too young too…”

“Too young?”

“She’s like I don’t know, twenty-two, twenty-three maybe? She’s a daddy’s girl who used to live out in the sticks and went to New York because she wanted excitement. I don’t even know what she wants from me, you know?”

“Probably what you said: excitement! You give off ‘bad boy’ vibes. Daddy’s girls often seek out troubled men to fix. At times they have no clue what true hardship is, so they just want a taste of it,”

“Something tells me that doesn’t apply to you,”

Mina gave a soft chuckle and shook her head.

“I’m not a daddy’s girl. And as for troubled men, I don’t have to look for them, they’re irresistibly attracted to me. Troubles in general are; I’m a trouble magnet!”

“Why do I sense this is a personal attack?”

“Because you know you’re trouble?”

“I surely am,” Jake confessed with amusement. “Yet I think I was precisely what you were searching for tonight, but maybe I’m wrong?”

He smirked, his gaze unflinchingly fixed on her. She released another brief giggle.

"Now, you’re absolutely right! I had never been unfaithful to my husband, until tonight," Mina finally confessed. "Although we've been married for seven years, I've had my fair share of temptations. But each time, I knew that if I acted on them, it would be the end of our marriage."

"And now?" Jake asked.

"Now, I'm lost," Mina replied bitterly, though her lips curled into a thin smile. "Deep down, I know that our marriage is over, and tonight was just the final nail in the coffin. But admitting it means that I'll have to start over again, without any idea of what to do or where to go. It's scary, you know? Much scarier than pretending that everything will be fine if we just try harder."

She smiled apologetically and added, "I know it sounds pathetic."

"No, it doesn't," Jake reassured her. "There's comfort in familiarity, even if it's toxic. At least you know what to expect."

Mina looked at him with surprise, but he seemed dead serious. "He knows the feeling," she thought, strangely comforted by the idea.

"Exactly," she replied. "For years, people have been telling me to leave if I'm unhappy. But it's not that easy. Besides, most of the time, I wasn't unhappy. The good moments made the bad moments worth it in the end."

"And the bad moments make the good moments seem even better, right?" Jake added knowingly.

"Absolutely," Mina agreed. "And let's not forget that the grass is always greener on the other side. There's no guarantee that things will be better if I leave."

"Maybe I don't deserve better, anyway," Jake mused, pausing for a moment before adding, "I probably don't deserve better."

Mina's face lit up with understanding as she realized she had been thinking the same thing. Mina felt comforted by the thought that she could tell Jake anything, knowing that he hated himself just as much as she did. "Misery loves company," as Mephastopheles told Faustus, when asked why Satan wanted to enlarge his kingdom.

"We've had our ups and downs like any couple, I guess. But the last six months have been the worst," Mina continued, surprised that her voice didn't break. "I was..."

No, don't tell him.

"Last summer, Johnny and I had a big argument over something stupid, as we sometimes did. I went to a party without him and had a few too many drinks. Two guys I knew from work offered to walk me home, and I'm pretty sure I didn't flirt with them. But maybe I did, you know? Maybe I just didn't realize I did."

She drew in a deep breath and continued, her voice shaky with emotion.

"Anyway, one of them made a move on me and I pushed him away. He laughed it off, then he hit my face. His friend held me down while he… you can guess the rest," she trailed off, unable to continue. She stole a quick glance at Jake, but couldn't bear to meet his eyes for fear of seeing pity.

"What about the cops? Did they get them?" Jake's voice was matter-of-fact, devoid of any condescending sympathy. Mina felt a surge of gratitude towards him. She could have kissed him, but restrained herself and responded instead,

"I didn't report what happened. Johnny wanted to look for these guys and kill them. It would have done him good maybe, but me? I don't think so. I just wanted to forget it ever happened. What evidence did I have anyway? It would have been their word against mine, and my record isn't exactly spotless," she admitted, cringing at the memory. "I was caught once for dealing drugs in a bar where I worked. It's not something I'm proud of, but it was a long time ago. Once you stray from the straight and narrow, it's hard to shake off the stigma," she explained, wincing at the thought.

Jake let out a chuckle.

"You know what they say, 'let he who is without sin cast the first stone.' I'm not one to judge, trust me. I only avoided jail by sheer luck and the kindness of a woman who never gave up on me," he revealed, his lips curving into a smirk.

"Your mother?" Mina ventured, trying to lighten the mood.

Jake rolled his eyes.

"Nah. My family situation is complicated," he admitted, looking away as if embarrassed to have shared such a personal detail with her.

Mina couldn't help but feel a kinship with Jake. Despite being the type of man she had always tried to avoid, he had a way of making her feel at ease and opening up to him. He had told her earlier, "I know I'm still a stranger," and yet, strangely enough, she found herself divulging her darkest secrets to him. Perhaps it was because he was indeed a stranger, and the likelihood of ever seeing him again in the vast metropolis of New York was slim to none. Her secrets were safe with him, and she felt a sense of relief. However, his mention of family had triggered something dark and threatening within her, something she had long buried and tried to forget.

"Family, a delicate subject," Mina muttered, scanning the bar behind them with a quick glance. "Do you think they serve whiskey here?" she inquired.

"I am certain our gracious host has a concealed bottle, but I recall you are not fond of whiskey," Jake noted.

"I'm not! I usually despise the stuff, but tonight I find myself doing things I wouldn't normally do. What's one more?" Mina replied.

Jake chuckled and asked the dinner waitress for two drinks. The waitress hesitated at first, saying she couldn't serve alcohol that late, but ultimately relented with a giggle after Jake pleaded with his most charming smile.

They clinked glasses and sipped their drinks. Mina grimaced, making Jake scoff, but despite her obvious distaste, she took another sip of the brown liquid.

"Yikes, still terrible! But I'll drink it anyway," she declared. "You got me thinking of my mother, and whenever I think of her, I need a drink. She kicked me out when I was seventeen after I told her something she didn't want to hear. I haven't spoken to her much since then. My father left her when he learned she was expecting me, and she had a series of boyfriends who were more or less decent after that. For a while, she built up a certain reputation, but I was a child, you know? I didn't understand anything back then. She settled down with one of them, though - Harry. They got married when I was ten or eleven, something like that. I loved that man; he became my whole world because my mother couldn't care less about me while he did, at least that's how I felt for a long time. Now, I think she just didn't have a clue what to do with me. They don't teach you how to be a mother or father, you know?"

"They should…” Jake murmured, suddenly thoughtful.

"If there were some tests to pass to be a parent, I would fail them all," Mina joked. "No one in their right mind would let me have kids if they knew how messed up I am."

"I'd fail even harder," Jake retorted.

"Stop showing off!" Mina laughed, and Jake smirked. They sat in comfortable silence, not needing to fill the void with meaningless words, as their smiles conveyed mutual understanding.

But the moment didn't last: Mina was suddenly reminded by a voice in her head that Jake had hardly said anything about his life; that he had only listened to hers out of pity. She realized it was time to stop rambling, to preserve what remained of her dignity, and to retire to her hotel room instead of burdening a stranger with her sad tales.

She finished her drink and withdrew enough money from her bag to pay for everything that had been ordered, but Jake frowned and protested, "Hey, the drinks are on me!"

Mina smiled sheepishly and retrieved a portion of her payment. Jake appeared confused as he observed her slipping on her coat. "Are you leaving?" he inquired.

"Yeah," Mina replied as casually as possible. "It's getting late, I barely slept last night, and," she paused, gazing at Jake intently before adding with a nervous chuckle, "I fear I may have bored you enough for one evening."

"You don't bore me," Jake replied.

"There's no need to be kinder to me than you already have been, Jake. I had a delightful time, truly, but I understand that it isn't your responsibility to hear my issues. As a bartender, you're most likely accustomed to that sort of thing, but you're not working right now," Mina finally answered.

Jake didn't respond, but instead, continued to stare at her. His lips formed a charming pout she had seen previously, when the bartender from the Omega Lounge had teased him about his girlfriend. Mina slowly stood up from her seat and, after a moment of hesitation, grasped the edge of the chair's surface. She said her goodbyes to Jake and, as he reluctantly nodded, she began to turn away. Yet, just as Mina was about to reach the diner's exit, Jake shattered the silence,

"My mother went swimming one day and never came back," he uttered in a pained voice.

Taken aback, Mina slowly retraced her steps, drew a chair in front of him, and sat down. She gazed at Jake's face and could see the pain and anguish etched upon it.

Jake swallowed hard and continued, "That's what I tell everyone, but I know she didn't drown. My mother was an excellent swimmer; she would never have drowned," his voice trailed off as the painful memory resurfaced. Mina felt a pang in her heart. Suddenly before her, there was no longer a man who exuded confidence bordering on arrogance, but a boy who had lost his bearings far too soon.

"How old were you?" she asked softly.

"Eight," Jake replied. "We lost my father a year earlier in a car accident, and my mother was always miserable after that. I was told I didn't make things easy for her. Apparently, even at that age, I was already an asshole," he sneered.

"I'm sure you were just a boy who had lost his father and was hurting," Mina murmured, empathetically. "So you found yourself all alone? That must have been difficult," she added, now deeply saddened as if she shared his pain.

"Not really," Jake replied in a low voice. He started fiddling with his ring.

He kept staring at his ring, as if he had a sudden fascination for it, but Mina smiled, gazed at his handsome face, and ventured a guess. "You don't like answering questions very much, do you?"

Jake's blue eyes finally met hers, and a tiny smirk appeared at the corner of his lips. "People always want answers, they want to know everything, all the time," he groaned. "Why do you do this, Jake?" "What's this tattoo, what does it mean, Jake?" "Why don't you find a real job, Jake?" It's fucking tiresome. So, yeah, I tend not to answer anymore," he admitted. "I don't mean you," he added quickly. “I already said too much. I rarely talk about these things! ‘Must be the booze, or maybe… You’re a witch?”

"It's your right not to tell me more. You don't have to tell me anything," She took a momentary pause and continued, "I get constantly asked to justify and explain everything as well. You're right, it's bloody exhausting! I think I may do like you. Does it work?"

"Sort of."

"By the way, I am indeed a witch. You caught me. Oops!" Mina declared, feeling mischievous. "Maybe I can persuade you to answer one more question? I've heard you work at a fancy restaurant, but which one exactly? I'm trying to imagine you behind the bar, clean-shaven, with a perfectly ironed white shirt and a bow tie... It's a bit of a challenge," she teased, feeling a twinge of desire for him.

She gazed at his hands and blushed, remembering the feel of his fingers inside of her. She looked away, grateful that the dim light concealed her thoughts.

Jake chuckled, his eyes gleaming with amusement. He leaned back in his chair, looking relaxed.

"My shirt isn't white, it's striped," he corrected her. "And I'm rarely clean-shaven, which pisses off my boss. I work at…. At the Union Square Cafe, on the corner of 19th Street and Park Avenue South."

Mina nodded, wondering why she had even asked. What was the point? She had no intention of visiting him at work, and she couldn't afford to dine at such an upscale establishment.

After an awkward pause, Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here" started playing in the background. Mina's face lit up - it was one of her favorite songs.

"Did they get you to trade

Your heroes for ghosts?

Hot ashes for trees?

Hot air for a cool breeze?

Cold comfort for change?

Did you exchange

A walk-on part in the war

For a lead role in a cage?"

"Just what we needed, a sad Pink Floyd song," she murmured.

Jake nodded in agreement, and they both fell silent, lost in the melancholy melody that resonated with their own loneliness.

"How I wish, how I wish you were here

We're just two lost souls

Swimming in a fish bowl

Year after year

Running over the same old ground

What have we found?

The same old fears

Wish you were here"

But their reverie was interrupted by their waitress, who began singing along, making Jake wince.

“This is definitely something we don’t need,” he said. “Let’s get the fuck out of here, shall we?”

“Sure! I think I’ll go back to my hotel room now,” Mina replied despondently. “Not that I want to. There’s nothing sadder than an empty, cold hotel room,”

“You could… We can go to my place if you want?”

Mina stared at him, half smiling and unsure of what to say. She still desired him and could feel the heat of his kisses on her neck, but the sheer embarrassment she had felt after pushing him away still burnt too much for her to consider a new attempt.

“I don’t have a guest room, but we could just talk, or even sleep! We won’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I know what it’s like to find yourself alone in this city, struggling to find rest but it never comes because your brain is just a mess of thoughts spinning in your head. Also, as I already said, I really don’t have anything better to do," Jake added, sensing her confusion.

Mina bit her lower lip and gazed at him, scrutinizing his face as if she could find something that would help her decide what was best for her. He held her stare impassively, got a cigarette out of his pack and stuck it in his mouth. He then offered her one with a beguiling smile that made her knees shake. Good thing she was still seated…

"I shouldn't, it gives you cancer," Mina grumbled, but still took the cigarette and followed him outside.

"Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced," Jake replied cheekily.

"What does Keats have to do with it?" Mina asked, mildly impressed.

"Nothing, but think about it this way: if you've never had cancer, how do you know it's real?"

"I know because, let's see," she pretended to think deeply with such an exaggerated grimace that it made Jake chuckle. "It killed people I know. You know, I don't think Keats would…"

"... Agree that it applies to cancer? Of course not. My point remains though: why would you let something that hasn't happened yet and may never happen become real to the point of stopping you from doing what you want? From being who you want to be even? Everybody does that. They will say 'life is short,' then they'll spend it fearing death, illness, breakups, anything!"

"What about you? Are you never afraid?"

"Of course, I am. All the fucking time. I'm scared of drowning like my mum, that's why I never go swimming. I said 'everybody' didn't I?" Jake reminded her.

Mina was rendered speechless by Jake's honesty. She couldn't help but think about all the opportunities she had missed due to her irrational fears of an invisible danger looming in the distance.

Jake finished his cigarette and raised his hand to hail a cab. The driver pulled into the driveway, and Jake opened the door, gesturing for Mina to enter first. She smirked and replied, "I don't remember agreeing to go with you yet."

"But you didn't say you wouldn't either," he teased with a charming grin.

Despite the darkness of the night, with only the dim light of the street lamps to guide them, Mina could see Jake's cobalt blue eyes sparkling. She resisted at first, but eventually gave in, albeit with a touch of sarcasm.

"Well, I suppose I don't have anything better to do," she said, before Jake scoffed and followed her into the car. The driver was given an address in Chinatown, and for the majority of the ride, they remained silent. Mina was preoccupied with observing the city passing by, her eyes wide open.

Unbeknownst to Mina, Jake was silently watching her as well. She only realized this when she turned to him to speak, but the words escaped her upon meeting his piercing gaze.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Nothing in particular, I just enjoy looking at you," Jake replied calmly.

"I enjoy looking at you too," Mina replied, as they shared a few seconds of wordless gazing. It was enough, no words were needed.

Let me introduce you to the characters Mina and Jake

Chapter 4 is up here!

[eatingfood]

A promising friendship

That was then

I found it a little baffling how last Sunday my friend was upset for the way I answered on her messages lately, less warm and lovingly than I used to. But for good reasons. I was aware if it’s worth my energy, if it’s important and I had boundaries now, so I may react differently than I used to. I realized I will react warm and lovingly to meaningful conversations, I loved that, it felt like someone wanted to listen and know me better. I reacted indifferent to reels and funny things, things that had a smaller meaning to me. 

And so, she could express herself so effortlessly and I was there to respond with an open heart and help her understand it better at 11pm when I was about to sleep. I went over my own boundary to be there for her. I wished she had gone to sleep, respect my boundaries and text me in the morning with a clear mindset, but took it a bit personal. So I was there when she needed to vent that night because I knew she needed it at that moment, a conversation that was open and mutually shared, still I saw small displays of passive-aggressive, self-sabotage and people-pleasing while I tried to approach it in a calm, mature manner trying to make her understand there’s no need to and that it’s all okay. When I asked at the end of the conversation if she felt better now, I heard yes sorry, and I realized I heard sorry more times than I should in the entire conversation. She apologized for how emotional and upset she was, making it seem like it was bad to feel any kind of emotion, to be emotional, and I wish I heard yes thank you, thank you for being here. I couldn’t be more happy to see someone being vulnerable, emotionally naked. 

After the conversation I wondered a few days about the response to my sentence that I had changed and grown a lot and that I’m finally flourishing, and where she said: I couldn’t be more happy to hear that, I just hope that 'we' don't have to change therefore but tell me all about it later so I can place it better, and I said: No not changing at all, it’s more about growing. 

I still didn’t understand how there was a ‘we’ when we didn’t see each other as frequently as I wished and didn’t have beautiful, intimate conversations like the one we were having for one of the first times in a long time since we knew each other - (I recalled, the last time was in September when she would come along with me on a walk to the tram station, till the first tram would come. So I shouldn’t have to wait alone in the dark. Where she gave away a kiss on my cheek and held my hand till I jumped on the tram and waved, because she cared) In those moments I really saw she trusted me enough to be nakedly honest with me.

Here we are now

Yesterday I expressed something that was on my mind for months, something that couldn’t go on any longer. I had grown so much to the point my rose-colored glasses fell off and I realized how I doubted the friendship, how I felt smaller in my friend’s presence, in a submissive way sometimes, a bit insecure and how I always listened to her and found it hard to squeeze in words in the conversation, where she tried to listen but the attention was short. I noticed that the last months were far from what I wanted out of a friendship, it felt out of reach. The last time I saw her, we sat close to each other and still it felt far away. I thought how she might not be as present as she wanted to be for me. She was everywhere but nowhere near, she was in conversation with a lot of different energies in her phone and not with me. Boundaries were missing when she tried to respond to others while having a one on one conversation with me. I realized that she wanted to keep everyone happy and be there for everyone all at the same time, but that’s impossible. We were the only ones present. And I thought how our friendship was suffering in there, I thought if there were good boundaries, if she cared for herself and rested enough mentally. Then she could’ve been present with me in that moment.

I said how everything might seem healthy in our friendship and great from her point of view, but for me it wasn’t any longer. I expressed what lived in my heart and mind and it was treated like a single raindrop on a warm, dry day. After my long message I received a ‘ happy for you that you’ve grown ‘ message. Something that sounded positive that I should be thankful for but it sounded like nothing I wanted or needed to hear, no reaction on anything I had expressed. I wished for more information, more of an open opinion on how she felt about our friendship, on all the things I’ve said in the message. In that moment, I realized, I could take her upset words and confusion in my arms and offer support any day but she couldn’t do the same. I wished she took the time to read it through and look at it with an open mind. I wished to hear how glad she was that I was being open and vulnerable about things that saddened me. How she was open to ask questions and ready to listen, so we could understand each other. My eyes saw someone who might be overwhelmed by words, taken aback, maybe became aware of how it’s been for me, maybe it’s still sinking in or maybe it was just putting up a front, not wanting to admit she cares and making up her mind that it’s nothing much and that nothing ever happened. How that makes place for a formal answer like we weren’t close and never talked with each other and never send poodle videos or old women best friends together in Paris videos, just to make it easy and to be done with. It was like running away from confrontation, a conversation that could’ve turned out beautiful and make the friendship stronger. 

What a special conversation that could have been. 

And there’s a little voice in my head wanting to respond, hoping she’d take time for the message, think a little longer and how it could make things better. How it’s maybe best to be there for herself right now and come back later on the message. Wanting to help. But listen, not now

This is where time and patience comes in to do the healing, this is where I find trust in the unknown. This is where I realize we’re all on a different path and learning wave. This is where there’s nothing else to do than to let it be and find comfort, comfort in memories. This is where I know love is free and that the only important thing is to see her happy, happy with herself, independent, fulfilled and leading the life she always wanted.

I will still wish her a happy birthday and merry Christmas, maybe not directly but in my heart I will.

And think, how friendship can leave bigger wounds in our hearts than any relationship could ever, how we also grieve here. And think how our heart was open every time it was broken. And think, how grateful I am for my friend, think how grateful we should be for the people that give us the ability to let us write such beautiful words and stories, to let us grow in our writing, to let us express ourselves in every way possible as a human being, think about that darling.

[melodythemaybegorl]

✨ Fuck Off You Stupidass Piece of Shit ✨

Warning: extremely long vent post ahead with All of the swearing

Context: i went on a camping trip a month agoish, it was great, would do again. ~However~ when i went on the annual nature hike walk Thing. i happened to ya know, over work my very poor body. Especially my legs, seeing as how my right (& left) knee likes to just Ya Know, be in various amounts of pain randomly when it decides I've 'overworked' it again.

Unfortunately for my mental health my brain Needs to daydream in order to Process Shit™️ subconsciously. Now, this wouldn't be such a big deal if i could do that while reading, playing a video game or some other activity. Sadly only stuff i can do on auto pilot counts for Day Dreaming Time which for me personally includes the following: walking/pacing, swinging on a swing set/similar playground equipment on and eating. (sometimes) Theoretically i could do so while sitting still but uhm, i kinda need something more engaging then That

Which again leaves us to my Knee Problem, seeing as my preferred method out of all of these is swinging/waling around without feeling like a tiger in a Fuckin cage. (sorry but im feeling extremely frustrated by this) Seeing as it's been a month tho my leg is (mostly) fine. Which means I'm able to walk to the nearby park & swing away until my body physically tells me to get the fuck off.

Again not that bad, UNFORTUNATELY seeing as I'm fairly young with zero self defense training aside from the instinct to kick a bitch like a donkey I'm not allowed to walk around after dark, (extremely reasonable i agree completely) but i happened to reach my brain's internal storage of shit until it feels like it needs to take a step back & process... which it can't do until i walk. which I can't do because it is Night Time and even Then my knee is fuckin complaining. This means I'm very very frustrated & more than a little mad. Seeing as how my brain is sending "Go Touch Grass" while body is going "madam we woke up at 6 pm after sleeping at 9 sthm am and it's 4 am go the Fuck to sleep, also I'm sick of you're shit."

WHICH BTW I BEEN HAVING THE WORST TIME DOING SO CAUSE ONE OF MY BIG BOI BLANKETS GOT POOP ON IT & THE OTHER GOT PISSED ON. So far the best way I've found to Go the F To Sleep has been cuddling with mom because cuddling with mom is Great and allows my pickyass brain to stfu about not being able to nest properly. also my bed is uncomfy as shit without Proper Nesting Materials which means I haven't really been able to recharge alone properly either!!!

I know all very small problems but it's kinda all piled up together in a giant ball of Complete & Utter Bullshit.

Further Warning:

self pity & hate train is here y'all, if ya dont wanna read that please & kindly heck off. No disrespect intended but this is a random post on the Internet under a read more, you put in some tiny amount of effort to get this far. Also it should be noted that the swearing rockets up a few notches, again you don't have to read further. (Apologies if this is a bit over the line for bitchiness, have a lovely day regardless)

and!! i should be able to fix the blanket problem except my dumbass forgot how to do laundry AGAIN cause i haven't had the proper motivation to do Fuckin Anything for years now, plus my stupidass self pity train hasn't been properly derailed enough for me to figure out how to trick myself into Actually Doing Stuff! I've just been complaining about it like a useless little Bitch! Which i am! i barely fuckin do anything cause i just sit there in a guilty spiral of guiltyness doin fuckall. Just, what the fuck man.

[last-starry-sky]

((Simon: Redemption Route, bc I can be nice sometimes))

There's a knock on your door later that night.

You don't even think about it. You're swinging your legs out of bed and walking across the cold, concrete floor before you even question who it could be. It was a light knock, you think as you yawn, hand on the knob. Anyone trying to wake you urgently is usually pounding on the door and yelling out your name.

You click the door open and your eyes are met with a wall of black. The tattoos across his arm tell you who it is before you even look up.

Ghost.

"What do you want?" you hiss hidden behind the door, eyes squinting against the bright florescents in the hallway.

He cocks his head at you. "Aw, what happened to all the sweet talk? Was startin' t' like it. Or are you done prentendin' to be nice to me now?" He says, his voice dripping with condescension.

You scowl, almost slamming the door back in his face, but your gut tells you not to lose your patience. You let out a long breath through your nose to clear your head before you respond.

"You told me-"

"Quit hidin' behind y' door. Come out if you're gonna talk," he interrupts you, stepping back and waving you out like dog.

You bite your tongue at that too. Fuming, you open your door the rest of the way and follow him out into the hall. Thankfully, he backs up to allow you space. It doesn't stop you from feeling painfully observed, though. You were asleep in only a pair of shorts and a t shirt and the hall feels practically frozen from the AC. He watches as you wrap your arms around yourself as you lift your feet alternately off the floor, giving them small breaks from the painful chill.

You look up at him, cocking an eyebrow as you meet his burning stare. You hope that will persuade him to say whatever he came here to say and then leave so you can sleep.

"Sorry," he says gruff and flat. It hits you like a slap in the face. Lt. Ghost is at your door in the middle of the night apologizing to you?

"I shouldn't've-" he breaks his stare to clear his throat and stare at the floor between you, "What I said, how I said it: it wasn't professional. I'm your superior," he says with an unenthusiastic gesture of his hand. "Should be setting a good example n' all."

He coughed again, nervously setting his hands on his hips before he brought his head up to stare at you again. You remained quiet for the eternity (all five seconds of it) that you stood staring at each other under the buzz of the lights and hum of the vents.

"So," he finally said, cutting the silence. "We good?"

You chewed on your bottom lip and nodded, barely suppressing the urge to roll your eyes at him.

"Yeah," you responded acridly. "We're good."

He didn't seem entirely convinced, taking a moment to look you over before backing away another step and turning away.

"Just don't expect me to make your tea anymore, sir," you spat out, leaning heavy on the sir just in case he missed your intention.

You heard him scoff, but continue down the hall. You waited for him to think better of it, to turn around and give you a piece of his mind. His boot steps only faded down the hall into the dark, never to return.

Maybe he was too tired to get into a verbal spar with a pissy subordinate this late in the night. Maybe he just wanted to get his poor excuse for an "apology" done with and move on to more important things. It made you laugh to yourself as you turned back into your room. You could only imagine the Captain lashing into him after what happened earlier that day.

Good. You thought at the door closed behind you. He deserved it.

It’s was the one where Simon pays an OF creator to keep her clothes on!

I love it! 😂 sir, my true calling is to shag you. Now stop encaging me with your big chest! I love mean Simon but I thought it wasn’t your thing!! I firmly believe mean Simon is just soft Simon before you win your way to his heart. How would we recover after he confronted us? 🤔

aaaaaa I loved that one too! It was so off the cuff (and rough lmao) that I wasn't sure anyone would like it but me. btw i will reblog and then die if anyone does more with that idea because its so so so so good!!! i don't know why making them obsessed over some cute girl on the internet goes straight to my heart but it just does!

alsooooo so funny that you asked what happens next bc i was about to add on to that first part when I got home but I was so wiped out I just fell asleep. lucky for you, you get to read it here!

You bolt out of the kitchen, terrified of being caught out. How did he know? You thought you’d acted the part perfectly, you think as you wipe away the tears that had welled around your eyes. You had heard word around that Ghost was skilled at, ah, "collecting information" as they put it. It made a shiver run down your spine as you darted down the halls to your room. What if he’s seen right through you this whole time? What if he’s told-

Your thoughts stop as you collide with a solid body.

(now it's choose your own adventure time. I'll use the emojis to help y'all find your place in my walls of text.)

⭐It's Gaz.

You gasp out in surprise, blurting out an apology as you try to back away. His hand lands on your shoulder. It's so nice and warm that you don't even notice his other hand wipe at your cheek.

Oh yeah. You're crying.

"Okay there, love?" he asks all sweet and low, concern wrinkling the skin between his brows.

You turn up the water works only a little bit. Tears continue to fall as you sniffle, averting your eyes and stepping away from him.

"I'm . . . i'm okay," you answer, lying as you wipe at your eyes again.

"Don't seem like it. What's wrong?" he says gently, trying to catch you in his arms as you flutter away always just a bit out of reach.

"I'm . . . it's just-" you answer, nervously peering down the hall.

With perfect timing, Ghost comes stalking around the corner. You jump, and it's no act. He really can scare you sometimes. His name isn't out of Gaz's mouth before you're running down the hall away from them both.

💥It's Soap.

"There y' are!" he says sweeping you into a hug that crushes you into his chest with one arm. "Skipped off with our tea, didya?"

"No," you whine, more from the uncomfortable press of his muscles into your face and neck than from your flustered mix of emotions.

He lets you go and watches as you wipe the tears from your face.

"Sorry," you apologize unprompted. "I was making it. Just-"

His hand is on yours where it's swiping across your cheek.

"Forget it," he says, voice gone soft. "What's with you? What's happened?"

You force a tear to well down your cheek into your laced fingers.

"Nothing," you lie back, voice warbling.

"Doesn't seem like nothing, hen," he says pulling you back against his chest. He pats at your head as you sob into his strong chest, t shirt absorbing your tears. "Talk to me."

A voice calls from behind you, startling you out of his chest.

"Soap!"

Fuck. It's Ghost.

Soap's arm slips a little bit, allowing you to dart down the hall away from the both of them.

🌀It's Price.

He doesn't seem the least bit concerned that you just ran into him, or that you're crying for that matter. He just holds you away from him, both hands on your shoulders, silently inspecting you. You falter under his stare. You can't speak. Can't even wipe at the tears that track down your cheeks.

If Ghost had any doubts about you he would have told Price. No doubt. It makes you quake in your boots.

"Ghost find you?" he asks directly.

Oh fuck. He knows. You try to compose yourself, try not to panic but it's no use. All you can do is prepare for what's coming next.

You nod and sniffle. A weak, 'Y-yes" following.

Price sighs, palming your wet cheek in his hand.

"Sorry," you whisper, not really sure what you're apologizing for.

He only shakes his head, wiping away your tears for you.

"He can be a tough one, love. Don't let it get to you." When he pulls away his hand, he gives your shoulder a friendly pat.

Oh, you think. He's doesn't know. You could kiss him for the weight he's taken off your mind.

"You're doin' good. Glad to have you." You give him a small smile through your still-teary eyes. He smiles back. "Need me to walk you back to your room?" he asks sweetly with a tilt of his head.

Before you can answer, Prices attention is drawn away. He's staring down someone who just walked around the corner behind you.

"Price," Ghost says plainly, more to acknowledge his presence than as a greeting.

"Ghost," Price says in return.

There's an acidic, electric feeling crackling between the three of you as you stand in the hallway. You can feel the eyes on you, the rumble of the storm about the break. Price lets go of your shoulders, allowing you to walk away. You feel his hand on your back as you brush past him. Perhaps he cares enough about you to not want to involve you in whatever is about to happen. Interesting.

-

More?? 👀👀👀 Let me know what ideas you have!

[sapphicsmaximoff]

him - maddy perez

Summary: a good day turns worse

a/n: so every maddy story i’ve written is connected, they’re all here, probably going to start writing drabbles going back to s1

After Maddy found out the truth, Cassie didn’t seem like she wanted to actually apologize.

You and Kat were there for her the most, and she appreciated it. Sometimes you’d come over during the day at her job to keep Maddy company, and let her vent. “I think he likes you.” She mutters as she exits Theo’s bedroom.

“Probably because I got him ice cream.” You smirk. “Yeah, that was totally it.” She giggles, grabbing your hand as she pulls you into the living room. When you reach the large windows, she wraps your arms around her chest. She sighs.

“This fucking house is so…”

“You feel like…this is what your life should be like?” You ask, putting your head on her shoulder. She nods. “Yeah…”

“I’ll take you wherever.”

———

Later that night, Samantha had arrived when you were about to leave. “I’m sorry if I’m like…uh, I’m Y/N. Maddy’s…”

“She’s my girlfriend.” Maddy answers. “Oh, how nice! You’re really cute.” The woman says, making you chuckle nervously. “Thanks.”

She walks to her fridge, pulling out a bottle of wine. “Well, I want to go for a swim.” She looks at Maddy, then you. “You can join, if you want.” You look at Maddy who nods.

———

You kept swimming around as Maddy and Samantha talked, and the two stopped for a second as you jumped out.

“Ya know, compared to the people you just told me about…I have a feeling you’ve found that person.” Maddy stayed silent as she watched you walk over. You bent between the two, looking at the older woman.

“Is it okay if I use your restroom?” The woman smirks, looking back up at you. “You already were when I got here, so…”

“Yeah! I know-I was…I know, I was just…asking permission this time.” She nods at you. “Yeah, you don’t have to ask.” You nod, walking off as she chuckles with Maddy. “She’s…interesting.”

“Yeah, definitely not Nate.”

———

When you pulled up to Maddy’s house, you noticed a very familiar truck parked a few houses away from hers, but decided to ignore it.

Pulling into the driveway, you park the car, seeing that neither her mother’s or father’s car was there. “We got the house to ourselves.” Maddy smirks. “Wanna watch a movie?” You nod.

“Downstairs? Or in the…bedroom?” You wiggle your eyebrows, making her hit you in the chest. “Ow!”

“Downstairs, fuckin’ pervert!” You gasp, running your chest. “Ok! God!” She giggles, unbuckling her seatbelt. “Just let me take my stuff upstairs first. Straighten up.” You nod as she gets out first with you following.

———

As she waltzed upstairs, you pulled all tons of snacks out of her pantry and refrigerator.

Several juices, and even a leftover slice of New York cheesecake that you bought for Maddy the night before. Humming to yourself, you move over to the couch, plopping down as you turn on the TV.

You start a movie, and when it’s almost ten minutes in, you have a weird feeling.

Yes, Maddy’s room was a mess, but usually you cleaned it as she watched. There’s no way that was what she was doing. “Maddy?! Babe?!” No response.

Now you were worried. You reach in your boot, grabbing a small hunting knife just in case. Maybe you were beign dramatic, because maybe she just fell in the shower. Or maybe she’s taking forever as usually with makeup that she did not need to put on for a date night with you. 

These thoughts reigned in your mind as you trailed up the stairs. When you reached the top of the hallway, you stopped in your tracks, eyes widened at the sight before you.

Nate Jacobs exiting her room.

You hadn’t noticed what was in his hand before you retracted the blade. When he closes the door behind you can hear a faint cry. He turns to face you, a sigh escaping his lips as a small glint of the light shining from the window behind gives you a glance at the revolver in his hand.

“I didn’t hurt her.” He mutters. Your jaw clenched as he approached you slowly. Your eyes widened at every pace, and the urge to stab him in his large neck was replaced by the feeling that you might die right here.

Instead of him shooting you dead like you expected, he ran down the stairs and out of the house. You stood there for a few seconds before letting go a deep breath that had developed in those few seconds.

Your first instinct was to run to Maddy’s room. Carefully opening the door, you can hear small cries as the rain patters on the window. “Maddy?” You called out softly. Her mascara stained face barely looked up and you swiftly fell to her side.

You wanted to talk and comfort her, but you didn’t. You stayed with her that night, holding her as her tears wet your shirt.

She ended up getting over it quite fast. This surprised you because Maddy could hold a grudge. Like that one time you ditched her and Cassie to ‘hang out’ with Jules at your place. She was pissed.

Now? She was way too calm about it, especially when Cassie and Nate would walk around school looking insane. That Monday morning, the two walked through the hallway, and Cassie looked…different. Not a good kind by the way.

You didn’t want to be harsh, but not only was she probably emulating Maddy, she just was doing it in a sluttier fashion. “Well she sure does looks the part.” Maddy mused, making you and Kat snicker.

Turning towards her, you kiss her on the lips. “Hey, I’ll see you later, ok?” She nods, watching you walk off.

[theunderneath]

Just a tought. If you'd like : What about yandere mihawk and Doflamingo punishing their darling (gn or male if you're okay with it) for something they didn't do. Heavy punishment only to discover someone else did it. How would they apologise? Would the poor so( who may have went willingly with them cause they understood that they had no choice) react?

Thank you

Aw this kinda makes me sad :( 

Dracule Mihawk

“I was mistaken, I'll accept that. Tell me what I can do for you to forgive me.”

While Mihawk might be suspicious about the gravity of the punishment he has to give since it isn't often he has to. What he isn't suspicious of is his Darling going willingly. Since he makes it an expectation that once they do something bad, they should own up to it.

His usual punishments are scolding and maybe being locked in a room without dinner. The reason he does this is because if he seriously harms his Darling over small things, they will grow to hate him. That all changes when they cross the line.

So Mihawk's super bad punishment is starvation for a week to a month without any contact from him. An extreme version of his normal ones. He will give them water so they don't die, but he slips it into their enclosed room without windows while they sleep.

Remember when I said that it's an expectation that his darling has to own up to their mistakes and the consequences. He holds himself to the same thing. So once he finds out his mistake, he instantly stops the punishment. Mihawk will pull out his darling from the enclosed room and begin to pamper them. This is what he usually does but ten times more.

Mihawk would usually stop pampering them after they've recovered from the punishment but he doesn't. He wants to make it clear he is extremely sorry and his way is waiting hand and foot on them for a while. Honestly, this is a really good way to try and escape by guilting him into taking them shopping on an island or whatever.

After they've recovered fully he'll offer a deal, to keep the peace. The offer he makes is to even the scales. This means they can do anything they deem the same worth as their mistake punishment to him. Mihawk wants to set things straight by apologizing and letting them vent their anger.

Mihawk understands quite well that this could make or break everything he’s been building. Trust is everything in relationships. So when he makes a mistake he will admit to it and do anything he can do to make it better.

Donquixote Doflamingo

“Shit!”

This man has major trust issues. So any little thing he sees as a betrayal from his darling could result in the worst punishment. His darling would learn quickly that running is useless and lying is even more useless. So when punishment time comes around, he expects subservience and regret. It's the only way Doflamigo can feel like he can trust them again, after punishment of course.

His serious punishments are usually physical and short. His lighter punishment is more on the manipulative side, but we're not here for that. His serious punishment is done by his devil fruit, his string digging into his darling's skin until they beg for forgiveness. Doflamingo will make them beg until he's satisfied, before dropping them on the ground to clean themselves up. This can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. It really depends on how sadistic he feels.

After realizing his mistake, which will probably happen after since the punishment is short and he makes sure no one interrupts the two. So if it happens the second he leaves the room to go be angry somewhere else, he'll turn his ass around and immediately tell his servants to get the best doctors in the castle. It's funny to think he walks out of the room, gets confronted by one of his servants, and orders whoever actually did it to death/torture, before turning his butt around to "comfort" his Darling.

The reason I say "comfort" is because he feels like he can't. Like he goes to pull them into his arms but he feels wrong. Doflamingo feels disgusted in himself while he hovers over their cut form. He can't bring himself to touch them at all. So he just hovers beside them, waiting for the doctors. The sad thing is that he can't muster the courage to apologize either, so he looks down at them with fear.

Dolfamingo fears that they'll hate him, that they'll never forgive him for what he's done. It's a cruel twist of fate, the world-crushing betrayal that brought him to hurt them is now turned on him. Not that they could hurt him, but he understand how he hurt them. Not just physically but emotionally. He is left to wonder if they were hoping he was smart enough to see that they didn't betray him.

Anyways onto the after. The doctor will come in and treat them, stitching any wound they have and plastering the others. He'll be by their side unless they show a desire for him to leave. Which he will frown at but understand. I mean he was gonna leave them to clean themselves up because he couldn't stand seeing them in that moment.

So many gifts are given to his darling afterward. All of the things, he gives you are extremely high-quality. It’s his way of saying sorry. Also, he’ll bring you to watch the person who actually deserves the punishment get tortured/executed. He wants to make them a statement to never blame shit on his darling and or make sure no one looks over something like this again.

He probably won’t put himself through the punishment he did for them, nor will he let them hit him (too much, he still feels bad so he'll excuse a few love taps in the heat of the moment). He will at least trust them more after this. Actually, take their word for what they did and didn't do. It just makes him happy they when willingly instead of fighting him. It enforces that they love him and are willing to get hurt for him. He would do the same, so it goes both ways.