#sorry for the rant im just stressed out when i should be vibing and recovering!!!!

[shleemies]

Man I'm super like. Pissed off at my ketamine clinic and I don't know what to do about it. It's taking everything in me not to cancel all my appointments and look for a new clinic. But I don't have the spoons to research a good one and I really don't want to be on a wait-list for months to get my next treatment. I've tried dozens of medications for over a decade and I've never felt relief like ketamine has been able to provide for my depression and anxiety. I have loads of therapeutic trauma but I really clicked with my psychotherapist right away they're trans and neurodivergent and while they weren't perfect they made me feel so safe and comfortable in the session which is not easy for a therapist to do for me! I found out a month ago that they're leaving and so I'll have a different PT, who I met with on zoom Monday. She seemed nice but she's only been doing this a month. Shes extremely experienced with mental health and psychadelics though so I was like you know what maybe it'll be okay. But she came to my session today to shadow since it'll only be her next time and SHE HAS WHITE GIRL "DREADS" I AM DISGUSTED 😭 🤢 no wonder she talked about psychadelics the way she did, she has shorter natural hair and had the dreads tucked behind her when we did the video call I was so taken aback and I didn't really have time to process it much because I spent the next 5 minutes getting comfortable for the infusion and in a good headspace. But then when my PT called in the nurse to hook me up to the IV they asked her to put on a mask because I request they all do and it was the same newbie nurse who stuck me wrong earlier and she was like "actually it's in the company policy I have the right to refuse to wear a mask" like damn what you were gonna be in the room for like 15 seconds no need to be a cunt

The infusion itself was fine but now I'm just getting stressed the fuck out because that was my last session with the psychotherapist I feel comfortable with plus the nurse misgendered me today but I don't want to not have access to KAP I just hate everyone else who works there 😭😭😭😭😭