#sorry for the rant guys it's happened at least three times now

[therealamperssand]

once again beseeching people to look at people's bios before asking for things. "art requests and commissions closed to the general public" means I will give you nothing. especially if you ask in the comments, especially on age-old posts! the least you could do is send a DM, jeez. "could you draw—" no, I couldn't.

[violynxmaeve]

Caitvi (violyn) x reader head-canons!!!

The two can get very emotionally attached and know whenever you feel upset or angry (or really any emotion)

Vi always has a hand on you, romantically, because she loves skin to skin, its helps her calm down and feel appreciated.

Cait lovesss gossip (so does vi but hides it) so whenever you come home from work or even simply hanging out with friends or family cait always asks, “so whats happened this time?” Or “whats the drama, love”

Vi always manages to make up a new nickname everyday for either of you or cait.

Whenever caits stressed she stands at the front door waiting for you or vi to come over and hug her.

Whenever vi is stressed on the other hand she is sniffing you guys out like a dog and is not letting go for at least an hour.

Vi will be late to work everyday unless you or Cait DRAG her.

Vi cannot sleep in the middle of the bed, she gets too hot, this girl does not know what the cold is. Cait or you have to sleep in the middle but it’s usually you because Cait is always up really early for work and to mentally prepare herself to drag vi to work.

You three go on dates all the time, even if its something small, you guys are doing something every weekend just for them two to show off that the two best piltover enforcers have the most incredible gf.

You guys live in the kiramman home, there’s no argue about it, when you three first started dated Cait made it clear you two were to live with her. (She wants nothing but the best for you two.)

Vi drags Cait to Zain every now and again to force her to eat the food there for pure entertainment and when them two come home Cait is ranting to you for a solid hour before taking a deep breath and grabbing some of her food. (She bruises her teeth for 5 minutes straight when she gets home)

CAITVI ARE THE BEST GF’S EVER IDC IM SORRY.

[fanfictiongirlie]

Marvel: I Have A Proposal For You

Parings: Steve Rogers x Reader

Description:

Reader has no luck with me her own age, they're useless and never put the effort in to make her cum, Steve offers to help her.

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Smut, Older Man/Younger Woman, Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin

Words: 4,521

So I'm in a bit of a writing rut on my series, so I thought I'd write a quick little smut with Stevie rather than stress over my series. Hope you enjoy <3

Completed One Shot

You huff loudly as you walk into the Avengers kitchen at 1am, you didn't expect anyone to be awake, but of course with so many people living under one incredibly large roof, there was. Steve sat inside at the kitchen breakfast bar, drinking his small glass of whiskey. 

"I hate men" You snap, huffing again as you lean against a counter, you hadn't said it specifically to Steve, you just needed to get it out, you had been thinking it for a while. A hour to be exact. 

Steve watched as you walked into the kitchen, he noticed your annoyed demeanor and stands up, walking closer to you. 

"What's up?" He asked, his blue eyes on you, worried something bad had happened. 

"Men" You mutter "Well, specifically men my age, they're useless...I went out tonight, ready to party and have some fun, and went home with this guy, he didn't even make me cum! But when he was finished, he just rolled over and went to sleep!" You ranted, your thoughts thinking over the events of the night again, this was the last time you'd ever have a one night stand with a random man. They were useless. 

Steve stood listening intently as you ranted, a small smirk forming on his lips as you continued vented. 

"He just rolled over and went to sleep? Just like that?" He asked, he was leaning against the opposite kitchen counter now, his arms crossed over his chest, his muscles maybe distracting you just a little. 

"Just like that!" You yell, you then notice the small redness over Steve's cheeks. "Oh...Steve, I'm sorry, I'm sure you don't want to hear about my pathetic sex life" You say, feeling a little guilty. 

Steve chuckles at your words, he took a step closer to you. 

"It's okay. I don't mind listening to you rant. So, tell me more. This guy, how old is he exactly?"

"My age...well, twenty-three, so a year older than me" You answer, rolling your eyes at the thought of the guy again. At least he didn't finish inside of you...you kept telling yourself. 

"And he didn't even make you finish, that's a little rude" Steve sighed, that smirk forming on his lips again. 

"I'm telling ya, men my age are useless" You huff pushing yourself off the counter and taking a few steps away from the area. "Guess I'll go to bed, sort it out myself"

Steve notices the disappointment on your face as he watched you move. He couldn't help but feel a pang of annoyance, not just at the way that guy had treated you, but at the thought of you having to 'sort it out' by yourself. 

"Wait a second" The words formed in his mouth before his brain even finishing thinking them. A idea coming to his head. You stop walking and turn to look at him. 

"Yes?" You ask. Steve then pushes off the kitchen counter he was leaning on and walks over to you, standing an arms length away from you. His eyes fixated on yours as he stood in front of you. 

"Can I ask you a question?"

You smile up at him and nod. "Of course"

Steve stood another step closer to you, shorting the distance between you both, he held your gaze as he asked his question on his mind. 

"If there was a way to...'solve' this problem of yours right now, would that be something that would interest you?" He asks, his voice low and husky. The breath within you was suddenly caught in your throat. You looked him up and down quickly, wondering if you were dreaming...your crush on the older man was something you'd had for a while, not that anyone knew. He was a lot older than you, so naturally you never thought he'd like you. 

"And...how would you 'solve' my problem?" You ask cooly. Steve obviously noticed your lingering gaze, he could see the flicker of curiosity within your eyes as you looked at him. His heart rate picked up a bit as he watched your reaction, your cheeks had a slight red tint to them, and your tongue darted out to lick your lips, your eyes never straying from his. He leaned in a bit closer to you as he spoke quietly to you. 

"Well, I have an idea" 

"Yes?" You ask breathlessly. 

Steve continued to observe your face, noticing the slight change in your breath as you spoke. He leaned in a little closer, stepping closer, your bodies almost touching now. 

"You said that the guy you were with didn't...make you finish, right?" He asked, his voice soft and low as he spoke. 

"He didn't" You answer quietly as you look up at him, his eyes sparkling down as he looks at you. You lick your lips again, your body feeling weaker and weaker as he spoke. You could guess what he meant, you hoped you were right in your thoughts. The feeling in your lower stomach was strong, the need and want for him growing. 

"So you're all...pent up and unsatisfied, right?" Steve asks, he noticed your slight irritation at the fact that the guy didn't make you feel good. He felt annoyed on your behalf, but quickly he pushed that thought aside. You nodded, your eyes still on his, though you felt as if your eyes had a glaze of lust over them with how you were feeling right now. 

"And you don't want to have to 'take care' of it yourself, right?" He asks, his voice lower and lower with every word. 

"No" You answered quietly. 

He held your gaze for a moment longer before speaker, his voice becoming a bit more huskier. 

"In that case...I have a proposal for you" 

"Yes?" You asked, your body tingling as you thought about the things he could do to your body. He took another step closer, if that were possible, you were touching now, hips to hips. He looked down at you, a hint of a smirk on his face. 

"I can...'assist' you with taking care of that problem, if you'd like"

"I'd really, really like that" You whisper, Steve had lowered himself slightly, so your faces were close now. Close enough that if you just moved forward slightly, you'd be touching noses. You could smell his cologne he was so close, it only added to your current state. 

"Then I'd be happy to 'assist' you, sweetheart" 

"Please" You almost whimpered. You cursed to yourself in your mind for sounding so pathetic. Steve smirked and gently raised a hand placing it under your chin, tilting your face up to look at him more intently.  

"So eager...I like that" He whispers, the breath from his words touching your lips in a way that makes you feel almost feral, ready to take him, let him have you however he wishes. The urge to please him bubbles up inside you, and usually you'd maybe feel embarrassed, but not today, not with Steve. You nodded pathetically, his fingers still having a hold on your chin as you move. 

"Please Steve, I am"

"Don't worry...I'll make you feel good, I'll take care of you"

"We...we should go to one of our rooms" You whisper, hating yourself for breaking the wonderful moment between the two of you, but having another Avenger walk in on you was not on your bucket list. He nodded in agreement, his eyes roaming over your face, he wraps an arm around your waist, holding you close, leading you towards the hallway. 

"Let's go to mine"

"Okay" You say softly, letting him lead you completely. Steve kept his arm around your waist as he led you down the hall to his room. As he pushes the door open, he guides you inside, closing the door and locking it afterwards. 

"Fuck, can't believe we're doing this" You whisper, almost in awe at one of your fantasies coming true. Steve couldn't help but chuckle at your comment. He led you over to the bed, guiding you to sit down before standing in front of you. You looked up at him, enjoying the sight of him. 

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I promise I'll make you feel good" He says with a sweet smile. You nodded, and returned the smile hoping he'd understand you were willing to put your entire trust onto him. He must of because he smile widened and he began to unbutton his shirt, he pulled it off his body, revealing the muscles underneath.

"Wow" You whispered out-loud. You looked up over his body, your mouth watered at the slightly of his muscles and naked torso. He chuckled softly and began unbuttoning his trousers as well, keeping his eyes on your face as he dropped them down to the ground. He down stood in front of you with just his boxers covering his skin. 

"You like what you see?" He asks, and your eyes were no longer on his, now looking at the large bulge in front of your face, trapping within the confinements of his boxers. 

"God...yes...so much" You say with a slight smirk, you moved your hands from your lap and onto his hips, your fingers hooking just under his boxers. You heard Steve's breath hitch as you touched his skin. 

"Someone's eager..." He teased, his voice a bit hoarse. 

"Shut up" You answered as you slowly pulled his boxers down his toned legs. He let out a soft chuckle.

"Eager and rude" He said, still teasing you. 

"You have no idea" You mutter, you were eager, for him. You pulled his boxers all the way down, his already hard cock bounced free from his boxers and slapped against his stomach. His boxers were now pooled down at his feet, and his cock stood to attention in front of your face, your stomach fluttered at the sight, he was large...Larger than you'd had before, but not only did he have ample length, he was thick...You could imagine how full you'd feel with it inside of you, you squeezed your legs together, feeling excited. 

"God Steve, you're beautiful" 

"Beautiful huh? You think I'm beautiful?" He asked, his voice a bit huskier than before. 

"So much, god, I know this was originally about me finishing...But can I put my mouth on you?" You ask, your mouth watering at the thought of tasting him. Your eyes flicker up to his momentarily as you ask your question. 

"Go ahead sweetheart" He answers, his cheeks were flushed a little red now. It was enough to make you feel giddy. You moved your hands first, taking his hardness in your hand, it was just larger than both of your hands wrapped around it. You left one hand wrapped around his cock, close to the base as you moved forward, licking his head experimentally. Steve's breathing got heavier as you completely wetted the head of his cock. 

Closing your eyes you really got into it, taking his tip into your mouth, moaning softly at his taste, he tasted clean, fresh, unlike so many men you had been with. You expertly moved your hand up and down his length whilst taking as much of his cock into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you suck. Your eyes were wet, small tears were streaming down your cheeks, he must of noticed because one of his hands moved to wipe them. Steve was moaning loudly now, he had moved one hand to your head, softly holding you, guiding you but not forcing you down. You would of smiled if your mouth wasn't busy, even in moments like this, he was ever the man with the manners. 

You moved your mouth a little faster, your jaw had started to ache slightly, but you didn't stop, until his hand moved down to your throat, stopping your movements, you pulled off from him and looked up at him through your wet eyelashes. 

"Why'd you stop me?"

"I didn't want to come before you darling" He whispers.

"Oh" You say quietly, he was perfect "Let me level the playing field and we'll continue" You smirk, standing up from the bed, you lift the dress you were wearing off your body, throwing it somewhere random in the room. Steve lets out a low breath as he watched you. You watched as he swallowed, his eyes fixed on your body. 

"Damn, you're just...wow" 

Your smirk only continues to plaster over you face as you take your underwear off, leaving you completely bare to him. He couldn't take his eyes off you, his eyes traveled up and down your body, taking in every inch of your naked form. 

"You're absolutely perfect, sweetheart. You're so goddamn beautiful"

"Kiss me" You whisper, interrupting his rambles. Steve heard your whispered request and immediately he leaned down so he was level with you. He placed his hands on your hips and pulled you against him, and pressed forward pressing his lips to yours. His lips explored your mouth hungrily, his tongue parting your lips and sliding against yours as he kissed you. 

You sighed happily into the kiss, smiling against his lips, your naked bodies pressed together whilst you snaked your hands up from his shoulders into his luscious blonde hair. He let out a quiet moan into your mouth, he let his hands wander your body, exploring every inch and curve of your skin as he continued to kiss you with fervor. 

"God, I can't take it...need you" You mumbled against his lips. 

"I need you too, sweetheart. I need you so damn badly"

You moved your hands from his hair down to his hips, holding him as you walked backwards, guiding him to follow you, when the back of your legs hit the bed, you fell down onto it, smirking up at him. Steve followed you, hovering his body over yours. His lips move onto your body, whilst his hands held onto your hips as his lips worshiped you. 

He continued to trail kisses down your body, his lips moved over your skin so delicately, exploring and worshiping every inch of you. He took his time, wanting to make sure you savored the sensation, letting his hands also roam across your body, caressing and touching you in all the right places. 

"Mmmm Steve...oh...that's so nice" 

He carried on kissing you and touching you, listening closely to every small noise and whimper you would let out. He paused for a moment to look up at you, a smirk on his face. 

"You that that, sweetheart? Like my hands on you, my mouth on you?"

"So much" You whimper quietly as you look down at him. 

He smiled as you answered him, obviously enjoying the effect he was having on you, the way you were responding to him, the way you were reacting to his touch. He continued to kiss and gently suck at the skin of your breasts, as one hand moved to touch your nipple, playing with it in between his fingertips. 

"You're so beautiful, you know that? So goddamn beautiful..." He mumbled against your skin. 

"Steve, I need you...need more" You begged, your senses were overwhelmed with a need for him. You shivered as he moved one hand down your body, his fingertips trailing against your skin as he moved, his eyes were still locked on yours as he mouths your skin, his fingers moved down in between your legs finally touching you were you needed it most. 

He expertly moved his fingers in between your wet folds, dragging your wetness from your hole up to your clit, he slowly circled two fingers over your clit as his lips moved up to your collarbone, sucking a small mark into your skin. You moaned loudly, moving your hands to grip his arms as you spread your legs further for him. 

Steve knew exactly where you needed him to touch, and he was more than happy to provide it. He moved two fingers away from your clit, and you were ready to whine at the lost of contact, but he soon made up for it by pressing those two fingers inside of your wet hole, you gripped his arms tighter feeling your body shudder slightly at the new feeling, his fingers were thick, and felt amazing within you. You grind your hips against his fingers slightly, only grinding harder as his thumb pressed against your clit, the little bundle of nerves shooting electric throughout your body. 

"Oh...wow...Steve...jeez, you're good with your fingers" You moan out in a whisper. 

He chuckled, his lips still on the skin of your chest, he smirked, obviously feeling a bit proud of his skills with his fingers. 

"You like that, huh? Like how I'm making you feel with my fingers?"

"Yesss!" You whined as he pumped his fingers faster into you. His fingers didn't slow as he kissed lower, his lips trailing down your torso and down past your stomach. He continued to kiss you, moving his mouth lower and lower, his goal becoming more and more clear as he approached where his thumb was. 

"Oh! Yes! Steve!" You whined loudly, feeling your body close to it's edge. You body shuddered hard as his mouth replaced his thumb against your clit, he sucked hard and kept his fingers moving at a fast pace, you body shook as he brought you to your finishing point, you came hard around his fingers and over his face, he didn't slow his movements, moaning softly against your wet skin as you grind against him. Your body shook in the aftermath of your pleasure, your legs closing around him. 

Steve looked up and smirked, his free hand moved to hold down your leg, making sure you kept them spread. You body trembled against him, you were still shaking slightly. 

"Don't close those legs, sweetheart. I'm not done with you yet"

"Fuck, I hope not"

He chuckled again, moving his lips back to your clit, he licked down towards his fingers, opening them slightly to slide his tongue inside of you, alongside his fingers. You moaned loudly, moving one of your hands to his hair, holding his head for support whilst your other arm flew to rest over your eyes, your mouth was wide open, strings of loud whimpers and moans never faulting as they left your lips. 

"Oh, don't worry, sweetheart. I'm nowhere near finished with you. I plan on taking my time with you" He says, his lips moving against your hole as his fingers move slowly inside and out, his tongue darting out every few words as he spoke, tasting your hole. 

"God...I'm yours" You whisper as your body shivers with excitement. You had forgotten about that loser of a guy from earlier in the evening. 

"Damn right you are. You're mine sweetheart. All mine" He spoke quietly, his eyes shut as he dives back in, his fingers began moving again at a past which made you feel dizzy. His mouth was over your clit as he sucked and licked, moaning as he tasted you. 

"Steve....oh...oh...oh my god" You moaned, becoming a moaning mess underneath him. You were shaking with pleasure as he made you come again, and again. You had a daze of happiness washing over you body as he crawled back up to you, he smirked and brought his lips down to yours, moving his wet lips against yours, you tasted yourself on him, not caring one bit. He moved one hand to cup your cheek, holding you so softly it made you feel fuzzy inside. You moved your hands to the back of his neck, holding him against you as you kissed. 

As you kissed Steve's hips rutted gently against your hip, his hard cock leaving a wet stripe of precum over your leg, you smiled into the kiss causing him to pull away and cock his head at you. 

"What's so funny?" He asks. 

"Nothing...What's...uhh your favourite position?" You asked, feeling a little bashful at the question, but after what he did to your body, you felt like he deserved his favourite position. 

"You really wanna know?" He asks, his cheeks flushing red slightly. 

"Please?"

"Well, my favourite position is usually missionary. Just being able to look at your face and see your eyes whilst I'm on top of you..." He said, almost bashfully. 

"Oh Steve, you sweetheart" You say, a soft giggle on your lips. 

Steve felt a smile on his face, he was so damn attracted to you. 

"What? Seeing your face as I'm on top of you watching your eyes as they close and your expression changes...it's quite a sight" He explains. 

"Well then, why don't we make it a reality" You say softly. 

"I was hoping you'd say that, sweetheart" He chuckles, moving slightly so he hovered over your body completely, his arms rested by the sides of your face and his cock trapped in between your stomachs. You moved your legs slightly, spreading them so he had space to slot in between them. Steve positioned himself a little, his eyes were all over your body, taking in your form as he moved a hand down to his cock, taking himself he lined himself up to your hole. 

He didn't push in yet, choosing to drag the head of his cock up and down your wet pussy a few times, causing you both to moan softly, he moved down to press his lips to yours, kissing you softly, almost savoring the touch and taste of your lips on his as he slowly pushed his cock inside of you. You'd be lying if you said it didn't hurt. It wasn't an awful pain, it was one you almost welcomed, the slight twinge of pain adding to your pleasure. 

"You okay, sweetheart?" He asks, his lips still on your as he spoke, neither of your eyes opened anymore. 

"So good, keep going" You answer, your legs were pressed to his hips, holding onto him as he finally pushed his entire hard cock inside of you. You had never felt so full, but feeling his entire length was beyond amazing, he was thick, thick enough that you could feel the veins of his cock against the walls of your pussy. You clenched around him a few times, causing him to groan loudly as he kissed you, you used the moment of his groan to slide your tongue into his mouth, losing yourself into him. You nodded slightly, hoping he'd know what you had meant. You needed him to move, needed him to pound into you like there was no tomorrow. 

Steve understood your meaning, his lips stopped moving against yours slightly as he concentrated on moving his hips, he slowly dragged himself out of you, leaving just the tip, the feeling alone causing him to feel close to his edge, he then moved his cock fully back into you, a few times, just to make sure you were both completely covered in wetness. Your hands were on his shoulders, nails digging slightly into his skin as his hips began moving. Slowly at first, but soon he picked up the pace. 

Steve's lips moved away from yours, kissing had been forgotten regardless, you both held your open mouths together, swallowing one another's moans rather than kiss. His lips moved to your neck, resting there as he slammed his hips into yours. The only noises in the room are those of both your moans and the loud slapping of his hips against yours. 

"Steve...m'close" You whine, your legs beginning to shake. Steve, who was sucking yet another mark into your skin moved one hand in between your bodies, moving it down so he could press to fingers to your clit, he messily moved against the bundle of nerves, helping to push you over the edge. 

You moaned loudly, gripping onto his shoulders as the pleasure ripped through you body, even with closed eyes your vision went fuzzy and spotted with black dots, you giggled softly as you came down from the high, Steve had slowed his thrusts, his face lifted to look at you, a large smirk on his lips. 

"You good, sweetheart?" 

"So good" You say with a light giggle, feeling over the moon with pleasure, your legs went slack against the bed, they jolted slightly with every thrust of Steve's cock. Steve's thrusts started becoming faster, his fingers no longer on your clit, which you were thankful for, feeling close to overstimulating, both of his large hands were on you hips as he held you tightly, his fingers leaving little imprints on your skin as he used your hips to thrust into you harder. Your hands were lazily on his shoulders, you moved them over his chest, feeling his muscles in your post haze state. 

"Come Stevie, come inside of me" You whisper, your voice trailing off slightly into another moan, his cock still stretching you perfectly. 

"Are...Are you sure, sweetheart?" He asks, his hips slamming into you messily. 

"Yes, wanna feel you" You whispered, clenching your pussy against him. 

"Fu..fuck" He groaned, you giggled slightly at hearing Captain America swear, you clenched your pussy again as he thrusted into you, his movements becoming messy and sloppy as he became closer to his edge. "Gon...gonna come...fuck!" He moaned loudly, slamming his hips into you once more, letting your pussy cover his cock completely as he buries himself into you, spilling his seed deep within you, he drops his head down to your chest, his sweaty forehead connecting with the skin in between your breasts. You move your hands to his hair, holding him as he lays there, obviously catching his breath. 

"Wow" You whispered. 

"Yeah, wow" He replied, his voice quiet as he pressed a kiss to your skin. 

After a few moments, Steve slowly removed himself from you, both of you wincing from the overstimulation, he then leaves the bedroom, only emerging from the bathroom when he had a wet flannel in hand. Steve smiled sweetly down to you as he washed your lower body of his seed, he kissed along your lower stomach as he did so. 

"You did so good" He whispers. 

"I did?" You ask, smirking down at him. 

"So good, I'm glad you liked my idea" He grinned, it took you a moment to realise what idea he was talking about, suddenly remembering the real reason this had happened between you both. 

"Yeah, well I think I'll be coming to you from now on, rather than a useless guy my own age" You answer with a smirk. 

"Good, because I meant it when I said you were mine" He answers, moving forward to kiss your lips. 

And finally you ended the night how you had wanted, in the arms of a man who knew how to make you feel good. And the fact that it was Steve's arms you were in, well that was just a bonus. 

(I do not consent my works to be posted anywhere else, by anyone other than myself.)

[hxrsheykisses]

SMALL TALK 💋 | JERRY STOKES X MELISSA ORCHID♥️

This request was sent to me by @amazingbananabread !! I am SO excited to make my first request on here and I hope that it’ll encourage people to send in their own requests as well! So I hope you enjoy!♥️♥️♥️

The atmosphere around the two teens was quiet but peaceful. The soft breeze hitting there face while they laid in the fresh green glass, gazing up at the sky with a sense of relief coursing through them. It was nice being able to escape the chaotic environment of the clubs that they were involved in. Sir felt nice to rewind and enjoy some peace and quiet for a bit.

“…How’s your club going?” Jerry asked, not moving his gaze away from the sky.

Mel let out a hum of acknowledgment. Her club with Lucy was doing good, the usual. Their club was somewhat different from Jerry’s club—his club members were…okay. They were foul mouthed teenagers who gatekeep fandom like it was a lifeline for them. She overheard many jocks talk about them in various manners that only spoke trouble so Mel took it upon herself to see if these guys were serious. She saw them around and to say the least—the jocks were right. They were nerve wracking and caused nothing but trouble to those around them.

“Mel?”

Mel blinked a few times, trying to register into reality. “Oh, sorry, spaced out…” She said sheepishly. “Uh, the club is going good. Same old, same old. Anything new happen in yours?”

Jerry shook his head. “Nope. Everyone has been theirselves.” He shrugged his shoulders. That seemed like the usual Eltingville Club thing.

…

…

Jerry was different. He wasn’t like none of his friends in Mel’s opinion. He stuck out the most to her. Jerry was an interesting person in this world that she isn’t quite used too yet and that made her want to know more about Jerry. He stuck out like a sore thumb. Whenever he was out with his group of “friends”, they would be spouting out nonsense and made sure that the whole block heard them while Jerry just stood back, hardly opening his mouth to form a sentence. Jerry was like a butterfly just collecting nectar in a world full of bugs.

Mel felt bad for Jerry. He wasn’t stuck with these “friends” of his and they didn’t seem to appreciate him like they should. It made her mad. If made her confused. It made her wonder why she cared so much.

“Jerry,” Mel started. She was surprised that her mouth fixed itself to say his name. “are we friends?” Now she was finally looking at the boy, her eyes looking at his face while her lips were pressed into a fine line. She didn’t know why she asked that. She didn’t know why she had the urge to ask.

…

…

Mel is a girl who Jerry likes. Jerry likes her, a lot. Jerry has seen her around before she even saw him. He has been stealing glances at her ever since she “moved” here. When he first saw her, he felt his world come to a halt for a good moment. At first, Jerry shrugged it off and continued on. Then, one glance turned into three. Three turned into six. Six then turned into twenty. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. She was so alluring, so pretty—he couldn’t help himself other than to admire her from afar.

Even being this close to a girl like Mel was too much for him.

Mel was a lot different from Bill, Josh, and Pete. Mel actually listened to his nonstop rants on fantasy—and she took it all in. She didn’t cut him off, she didn’t tell him to shut up—she just…listened. It made Jerry feel all hot, it made him feel like he was on Cloud Nine. With Mel, he could rant on and on and on.

Thats why those words left his mouth.

Jerry slowly looked over at Mel, coming in contact with her dark brown eyes that reminded Jerry of the milk chocolate candies he’d see at Seven-Eleven. He took in all of the “imperfections” that he deemed perfect in his eyes. Her face was littered with pimples, her eyes looked too far apart, her lips were thin—and yet he loved it all. He loved seeing her face. He loved seeing her.

“Of course we are, Mel’s,” Jerry spoke, a small smile crept up to his face. His ears got red. “you are a fun person to be around and you have some pretty cool interests. You should talk about them more. You—You really should! I-I would love to hear about all of them! I want to hear all of it! I…”

Crap. He overstepped it a bit too much…

Jerry’s face now became a full blown pink color as he looked away bashfully, feeling his heart race rapidly. His hands got clammy, his clothes felt tight, it felt hotter outside, he felt…weird. It was this weird tangy feeling inside of him. Jerry quickly added in an awkward, “Bidi Bidi Bidi” before immediately closing his mouth.

Mel nodded her head slowly, trying to contain her feelings despite it feeling like she was going to explode. She felt…whole. She felt free. She felt like herself.

Jerry never said anything bad about her interests. Like how she self ships herself with some 2D characters, rants about fanfics she found online, the X Readers she simps over, how she has some issues with her asshole dad or her stupid anger issues that she desperately tries to keep control of…

He loved her through it all. With no hesitation. Either no second guesses.

“Good.” Was what she said, a smile forming on her lips as she rested her hands on her stomach. It went back to solace again as the moment replayed like a song that Mel couldn’t move away from.

She needs to do this more often . . . 💋

[ryuichirou]

I loved your first-year headcanons for Idia!!! Do you have normal and dark ones for his second year?

Anon! Thank you so much for reading and enjoying those! I’m happy to hear that you loved them.

Sorry for the wait, I just thought poor Idia needed a break after that post, but now I can be mean to him again lol So, headcanons about his second year! This time there are also some sprinkles of the Octa-trio because I figured that these three appearing in Idia’s life was a pretty big event. Also, a little more Ortho this time…

Regular second year!Idia hcs:

One time Idia was watching Ignihyde’s then-housewarden doing his job and said to Ortho that he would never become a housewarden himself because it sounds like the biggest pain in the ass. The housewarden was standing far enough for Idia to think he wouldn’t hear him, but he did hear him… so Idia felt very awkward about it and hid under the table, running away back to his room shortly after.

One good thing that happened to him during his second year was that he met Azul and got himself a board games buddy! Despite how difficult it is for him to warm up to people, he barely had this awkward stage with Azul. Maybe it’s because the first thing Azul did was expressing how he doesn’t really want to spend his club time playing games, and that deeply offended Idia and he started ranting about how good games are for intelligence, strategy and blah blah, which resulted in Azul being very interested in board games lol So yeah, now Idia has at least one good thing to look forward to on a weekly basis.

That being said, he became more reclusive during his second year and had less interactions with people around him overall. The fact that he only had one roommate now + the teachers were more used to him not appearing during classes at all also played a huge role. There were weeks during which Idia wouldn’t talk to anyone other than Ortho and barely leave his room, ignoring his roommate as well.

At some point Idia even entertained the idea of hanging out with Azul after their club activities, but the enthusiasm quickly dried out because of Azul’s terrifying friends. The very first appearance of Jade and Floyd in Idia’s life brought some brand-new kind of fear to his already scared brain; he is much better at understanding how their brains work now and isn’t as terrified, but during their freshman they were the boogeymen of NRC to poor Idia. Not only because they seemed dangerous, but also because their eyes always lit up whenever they saw him as if he is a new interesting and shiny toy.

Ortho was so excited about Idia’s new roommate and really wanted them to become good friends, but Idia was clearly traumatised after his first year and didn’t want to even be noticed by that guy, so every time they were in the room together Idia was either pretending to be asleep or hoping that his roommate would ignore him. The guy was nice to Ortho, as they always are, so Idia tolerated him, but that’s about it; even though Ortho kept complaining about Idia wasting a chance to hang out with a cool roommate…

Dark second year!Idia hcs:

Because of his first year being this rough and his stress level getting worse in general, Idia became such a recluse during his second year that he wouldn’t go out of his room at all without Ortho’s assistance, and had a couple of very bad meltdowns while he was out. One of them happened during his final potionology exam and resulted in him throwing up and almost fainting. His classmates just assumed that he wasn’t prepared for the exam and was super nervous about Crewel chewing his head off and even started joking that “if you aren’t ready for Crewel’s exam, just throw up all over the classroom floor, it will win you time lol”.

Even though Idia’s ex-roommates weren’t in the same room with him anymore and seemed to had moved on, Idia was still terrified of them. He tried to be as neutral/unnoticeable as possible, but they still caught him one time to have “a reunion” while there were no other people around. They were pissed about getting moved to some shitty room and blamed Idia for that (implying that he complained about them to Crowley or the housewarden), so they harassed him, also letting out their sexual frustrations on him once again. Idia’s legs were trembling for a week.

As if that wasn’t enough, that group started spreading rumors about Idia; mostly about what kind of nasty stuff he had on his hard drive, what kind of questionable functions he gave Ortho, what kind of thing he had to do to get Crowley’s permission to skip classes. They also tried to spread around a rumor of him being a slut, but it didn’t stick to him as well as all the talk about Idia being a creep that was way too clingy with Ortho who was his robo-slave-doll-pet-sextoy or something.

The rumors actually died out partially because now that people’s mistreatment of Idia was everywhere and Idia couldn’t hide it from Ortho anymore, Ortho got pissed off and almost killed a bunch of people, and seriously scared the fuck out of the bullies. The problem is that while it made people whisper quieter and avoid talking about Idia’s existence in general, it sure as hell didn’t help to beat the allegations. Idia’s reputation never fully recovered, at least not in his dorm.

Even though Idia and his roommate during his second year ignored each other pretty much all the time, they had one unfortunate interaction while the rumors were at their peak. The guy knew for a fact that Idia wasn’t using Ortho for anything suspicious because he was their roommate, but the “he sucked someone’s dick to get permission to skip classes” part interested him, so one day he sat on Idia’s bed and straight-up confronted him about it. And not in a “hey, is that true?” kind of way, but in a “grabbing Idia’s head and putting it to his crotch” kind of way. Idia got scared and they never talked about it again, but Idia still couldn’t sleep for a while with the guy around, and he couldn’t tell Ortho about it either. Ortho doesn’t know what happened between them to this day.

[mcybree]

now I'm curious, as someone who has little to no opinion on the matter, what you consider your Beastlife Character's positive traits to be

OTHER BEASTS DO NOT PROCEED !!! CHARACTER METAGAME SPOILERS AHEAD !!! i will CURSE YOU with the DEVILS PLAGUE!!!

this website’s hate mail game is insane

I will answer this if i ever come up with something. I am literally looking up lists of positive traits on the internet. Tom said “unique” and like man i fucking???? guess???????

tbf breature’s self esteem is kind of in the negatives as of s4, so of course ooc im going to have a hard time pinpointing anything, as ooc perceptions do greatly influence a character’s perceptions of themselves.

There is, at the very least, a charisma. People will follow me around and hear me out to their own detriment. I often end up leading groups on accident, likely because I’m always going from one clear-cut goal to the next and other people will naturally want to tag along… I guess “driven” is a trait? I don’t think I’ve used this for one good thing so far though LMAO

tbh i think ME, irl bree, highly values a handful of traits and breature has sort of become an opponent of all of them.

i think, before the s3 alien conspiracy bullshit, there was a lot there. That was a well rounded individual. She had flaws but she wasn’t all flaws. But, at her lowest, she became the worst version of herself, and thennnn bc of the isolationist nature of the second season, almost all of her first impressions on other people happened when she was her worst version. So now it’s like she’s defined by this two dimensional parody. Everyone sees her as her worst version + she only knows how to interact with people as that worst version + most of her time alive in these games was as her worst version so she identifies with it = i am somewhat locked in to being horrible forevwr. despite being past what caused that spiral in the first place

like she has got to be one of the most hated ppl on beastlife I’ll be real LMAOOOOO in the two full seasons ive played ive been mourned Once. and it was by the guy i purposefully ruined the life of bc she has an unhealthy attachment towards me that i took advantage of at least three times. If that gives you any idea just how much I piss people off (and this is a server where most deaths are commemorated in one way or another, like it’s fairly culturally important)

sorry for the rant I’d say “i just love my fucking animal” but i really dont. bro is hated by her creator can you believe it… i do love doodling her badly in mspaint though ☝️

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Ok I am in rant mode again, sorry, this blog just happens to be a place where I dump all my thoughts negative and positive both, unfortunately for all who follow me. But I have seen some bad and incorrect takes from anti darkling/darklinas. So here’s just a few things I want to say.

Firstly LB has never stated that she based the darkling on her ab*sive ex. This is misinformation that was spread by antis. The only thing she has ever said about an ab*sive relationship was that she wrote the first book, Shadow and Bone, at a dark time in her life right after she had got out of a bad relationship. She has said in the past that the darkling was inspired by every bad boy she’s had a crush on in fiction including david bowie’s the goblin king. 

So it seems from these comments like the character was supposed to emulate those types of characters that woman find attractive, the ones you would fall for. 

I’ve also seen the argument that LB clearly wrote the darkling as a villain, well LB might disagree with you there as she herself has said on multiple occasions that she doesn’t write villains: 

LB says that the darkling believes he is doing the right thing and that ‘you can make a case for most of the choices he makes, even the despicable ones.’ So if LB says that she doesn’t write villains and that you can make a case for his actions you can’t really blame darkling fans for doing the same. 

The truth is LB promoted the heck out of both the darkling and darklina (or as it was known back then Darlina and Alarkling) when she was writing the og trilogy, even admitting to ‘fanning the flames’ when talking about people shipping m*lina and darklina and was clearly encouraging the shipping of both ships: 

She also put out teases for the darkling and darklina:

And promoted darklina fan edits even using the ship tags: 

It was only post the release of book three that she changed her tune, likely because of all the backlash she got about the ending of the books. So no LB wasn’t always against fans shipping darklina or liking the darkling. All of this information is easily found with a simple google search, I wasn’t even in the fandom back then being a show watcher first and yet I was still able to learn all of this with minimal difficulty. 

Which brings me to the whole darklina being an allegory for a older man manipulating a younger girl and how the darklina fans ‘missed this’. Well if they did miss it then it was for a very good reason, but the truth is darklina’s didn’t miss it, we just didn’t think it made sense within the narrative, the darklina fandom have talked about it, myself included, in fact I’ve already posted a whole pretty much essay on the topic. But let me explain why some people may have ‘missed it’ and why it doesn’t work in the story or with darklina as the allegory. The first is because LB chose to use an immortal/immortal couple for this allegory. The thing with immortality in fiction, especially as love interests, is it makes age pretty much meaningless. The whole point of immortals is that they are ageless. Immortal ships have always been accepted within fiction and this whole age gap issue has never come up before. Nobody was going omg but the age gap yuck with Bella and Edward when twilight came out, or when Magnus and Alec got together in Shadowhunters or with any of the ships in Vampire Diaries. Yet now anti’s are trying to use the argument that the darkling is 100s of years older than Alina and that’s creepy all of a sudden. Sorry but not in my book, an immortal is always going to be significantly older than anyone else what’s the alternative they spend eternity alone, never knowing love? At least with darklina they are both immortal. Another reason why it doesn’t work is because of how the darkling is described in the book, he is said to not look much older than Alina, so in the books he looks like a teenager. So of course people weren’t going to pick up on the older guy/younger girl allegory because the darkling isn’t presented in the books as an older guy. He’s described the same way every other immortal being in every YA book at that time was. It’s also worth noting that I am not sure if LB ever actually said that darklina were supposed to represent a older guy with a younger girl or whether that was something the fandom came up with. I’m not saying she didn’t just that I myself have never seen a direct quote from her that I recall and I wasn’t able to find one. I think the first time I heard of it was when someone sent me an ask about the topic. I know that she has said it was meant to serve as a warning of attractive and charismatic men being able to manipulate young girls but I don’t know that she herself has ever talked about an age gap or specifically mentioned older men? 

Another thing that I have been seeing alot of are comments like darkling/darklina fans only like him because he is hot. What bothers me about this is firstly even if that were true and the only reason people liked him was because he is hot, so what? There’s nothing wrong with that, its fiction and fiction is used to escape for a bit, its for enjoyment and entertainment, so if that enjoyment and entertainment comes in the form of staring at the hot guy irregardless of whether they are the hero or villain, let them be. Why are you criticising the way someone enjoys fiction? Sometimes a gal just wants to look at the hot guy. Secondly its just a really irrelevant argument because the darkling is not the only hot, charismatic character in the books or show. M*l is also described as being attractive and charismatic with no shortage of friends and girls, Nikolai is another character that fits that description, so by this argument the only reason M*l fans like him is because he is hot, and the only reason Nikolai fans like him is because he is hot. Thirdly its just plainly not true, whilst I am sure there may be some fans who only like him because he is hot, again nothing wrong with that, most fans like him for a variety of different reasons because he is an interesting and complicated character. As someone who spends a fair bit of time in the darkling/darklina tags the most common reason I have seen for fans liking him is because of his dedication to the grisha, his willingness to fight for the grisha something that he has dedicated 100′s of years of his life too. Personally I like Aleksander/the darkling because he has a sympathetic backstory, because he is fighting for the grisha and when seeing that they had no place to go where they could be free from fear he vowed to make them a safe place, a sanctuary, of course I am going to root for that goal too. I like him because he is complicated and complex and despite being an immortal being who has become deeply effected by past traumas there is still something beautifully human about him, particularly in the show. I also like the connection he has with Alina, the whole yin/yang of it and them being each others balance. I love the complexity and angst of them having this deep connection and pull to each other but also having this anger and sense of betrayal, how they have to try and navigate around having different points of view and seeing the world in a different ways, it makes for a very compelling story and their chemistry in the show is electric. The fact that he is hot is merely a bonus, but even if he wasn’t a conventionally attractive person I would still like his character because of those complexities, because of that connection he has with Alina. But one thing this rant has done is make me curious as to what my other fellow darkling/darklina fans like about the darkling? What drew you to the character? Anyway that’s enough ranting for one day, again my apologies, I am going to go and rewatch season 1 of shadow and bone in preparation for season 2′s release tomorrow...sheepishly shuffles off my soapbox, waving awkwardly.   

[i-smoke-chapstick]

'DON'T BLAME ME, [PART SIX]

-GOTHAM!JERVIS TETCH X READER-

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; Reader and Lee get tied up in a revenge plot.

⋆ tags/warnings. GOTHAM!jervis x female reader. SLOW BURN!!! Not sure how many chapters this will be yet! LOTS OF PLOT SET-UP!! AGE GAP ROMANCE! (reader is Jim and Barbara's daughter) Is reader really young and naive, or is she just young and angry? Lack of Jervis in this one, I apologize. I love Lee and Readers dynamic. The slow burn is slow burning. She fell first, he fell harder. More of reader dissociating. AU where The Ogre's still alive. Reader and Lee being mortal frenemies. Writing this kind of artistically and as character studies for everyone. Small time skip. Reader continues to reference Jervis as "Mr. Tetch." Just you guys wait...they'll get there. I'm taking canon out back and beating it with a stick until it stops twitching.

⋆ tag list (tell me if you want to be removed!) @adalwolfgang @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @honestmrdual @moonlightnyx @all-things-fandomstuck @killingboredom @sweetlimeharvest

⋆ 'PART ONE, - 'PART TWO, - 'PART THREE, - 'PART FOUR, - 'PART FIVE, - 'PART SIX, - 'PART SEVEN, - 'PART EIGHT, - 'PART NINE, -'PART TEN, - 'PART ELEVEN, - 'PART TWELVE, - 'PART THIRTEEN, - 'PART FOURTEEN,

♫ “I once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy.” Don't Blame Me by Taylor Swift

Nothing seems real anymore.

You'd heard of the crazies running around in Gotham. Whether that was from your father, mindlessly ranting over a stack of police files. Or your mother, who frequently talked to said crazies on a daily basis.

Prior to Mr. Tetch, you'd only ever dealt with one first hand. At least, one that was actively trying to murder your family. And that was none other than Jason Skolimski. The Ogre. You feel your body involuntarily shake when you even think about him.

You're unsure what happened to him, exactly. You were just thirteen when everything got turned on its head. But you do know one thing. His body was shipped to Indian Hill. Your mother and father never mention it. You wonder if your mother ever thinks about it. The small possibility...that man could still be alive.

She'd probably thank him. It was because of him that she embraced her "true self".

You bite your lip, lost in your head. Somethings been missing ever since Mr. Tetch turned out to be...whatever he is. Ever since he left, Tabitha’s seemed happy. Your mom hasn’t. Appearently his hypnotism act was attracting a bunch of publicity to the club.

You should've been thankful, like Tabitha. Good riddance. That should've been the end of it. But you had begged Jim to take you to the GCPD, to ask Alice questions. You needed answers. More than he did.

You always hated the GCPD. The last time you went to the department, you were young and naive. It was ‘take your child to work day.’ You watched a serial cannibal try to bite Harvey Bullock's finger off. Tale as old as time.

It didn't matter, regardless. Jim didn't let you go again. You remember the vague shouting match between you two. Good thing, maybe. Judging by the fact Mr. Tetch hypnotized a family of strongmen to kill everyone in the place. And then Alice impaled herself on a pole. All in the papers.

What does it matter? You're not sure why you let the whole situation get under your skin.

A few dreams, a few encounters, a few shared looks. You find yourself scoffing at your own blind idiocy. Maybe you are still young and naive.

You've been taking your rightful place at the bar, next to Butch. You two have been tossing back shots of tequila, mindlessly ranting at the same time to one another. Again, there’s comfort in knowing you both want to speak to someone that you can’t have.

"I don't understand. She doesn't even look at me anymore. I mean, she just looks at Barbara. Sorry, I know she's your mom, or whatever."

"Don't apologize. I don't understand either. Where the hell even is he?"

"Your dad?" Butch furrows his eyebrows.

No, you think. Mr. Tetch. You don't vocalize that though. You lie with a nod.

Maybe the alcohol caught up to you. You should've known better. Day-drinking never ends well. You cringe, remembering Harvey slurring his words, knocking on your dads apartment door. Either way, you aren't in control of your own body. Before you know it, you're leaving the club, tossing a wad of cash to Butch. He wolf whistles and takes it gladly.

You're just walking down the street. Maybe drunkenly. Kicking loose pebbles on the sidewalk, swinging around streetlamps. You'd expect a weird look or two from bystanders. But you realize no ones on the street except for you.

It's Gotham. You should be more concerned by the fact your alone. But it's broad daylight. Surely nothing could go wrong-

Before the thought can be fully thought out, a pair of arms grabs you from behind. You find yourself kicking and screaming, being dragged by a heavy-set man. Yay.

Huffing through the set of hands over your mouth, you're shoved into a trunk, light significantly dimming as it's closed. You hear the lock click, and you stop fussing. Attempting to calm yourself, you search your pockets for your phone. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Your mom is a crime lord. Your dad is a cop, or rather, was one. You'll be fine.

You can't seem to find your phone in your pockets though. You feel your heartrate speed as you frantically start to search. The bar. You left it at the fucking bar. Nice fucking job Y/N. You definitely wouldn't survive in a horror movie.

You give up. You're defeated. Maybe they'll be a pair of nice human traffickers. Take pity on you. You sigh and throw your head back for the rest of the car ride. Squeezing your eyes shut, you manage to accept whatever fate is in store for you.

You had a good run, champ. A voice that sounds an awful lot like your fathers praises in the back of your mind.

Like a ragdoll, you're roughly placed on the floor. Eyes still trying to get used to the bright light, you feel both dizzy and discombobulated. Your head is pounding from any alcohol you had prior. Picked a great day to drink.

Blinking wildly, the first thing you manage to digest is being chained to a bathtub.

"Y/N?" A voice asks, and your eyes snap up. Staring wide eyed at you, just tied up as you are, is Lee Thompkins.

A million thoughts rush through your head. The first one you promptly register is what is this bitch doing here?

"Lee?" You mumble. You think this might be a hallucination, but if you were going to hallucinate someone, it wouldn't be her.

You two stare at each other for a moment. Tense, awkward. The last time you saw her was when your father witnessed her having moved on. You still remember the feeling, standing on your tiptoes to look through a window. Seeing your fathers heart break before your eyes.

You never really talked to her. She always tried to talk to you though. A lot. Too much. But she could never be the Barbara you used to know. No matter how hard she tried.

"What the fuck is going on?" You whisper yell. Lee looks at you, swallowing.

"Tetch blames Jim for Alice, and we're his means for revenge."

At the mention of his name, your blood runs cold. You didn't expect to ever see him again. Let alone see Lee. You watch, petrified, as Lee fidgets around through the bathroom cabinet.

For the most part the room is silent, other than the clanking of items being searched through.

"Leave it." Is all you say, watching her look uncontrollably for something to pick the lock. She sighs.

"You expect me to just sit here and die?"

"Yes." You hiss. She doesn’t turn to look at you, but you can imagine her face, disappointed and irritated. You don't care. You get mean when you're nervous.

"…It's not my fault. Jim is who he is, Y/N. I can't change that. Neither can you."

The truth stings harder coming from her of all people.

"Oh, give yourself some credit, Ms. Thompkins," You say the name snappish. "Without you, I hardly doubt we'd be in this mess."

That makes her perk up. Her nostrils flare, and the clanking sounds louder.

"You don't seriously blame me for this?" She still doesn't make eye contact with you, but she motions wildly to the locks on your ankles. You give a nonchalant, bitter shrug.

"If you didn't leave him, he wouldn't have become a bountyhunter."

"You don't know that." Her eyes soften in hurt. It fuels you.

"No. But I know you're a whore." The words escape your mouth before you internalize them. There's a long beat of silence before she finally turns to look at you, still sitting on the ground. She huffs.

"Maybe you're just really scared and this is your way of coping," She starts, "Or maybe you're just insanely committed to taking care of your father. Either way, all I'm interested in is getting out of here."

You look at each other with a mutual mix of regret.

"Try a cuticle pusher." You finally say, smiling humorlessly. "My dad's was a cop, after all. Taught me how to pick locks. I can walk you through it."

She nods. You nod. It's not the same feeling of understanding you get when talking with Butch. But...it's not too far off either.

"You really are his daughter." She sighs, snatching a cuticle pusher up from the counter.

"Thanks."

"It's not a compliment."

"Remember you have to-"

"I got it." Lee cuts you off, fiddling with the lock. You put your hands up in mock defense. At least your humors returning back to you.

"Can I ask you something?" You start off, slow. She glances at you for a moment, before returning to her chains.

"As long as it's not about why I left your dad." She mutters.

"Not exactly," You pause, looking for the right words to say. "Why did you return to Gotham? You looked all cozy down south."

"It's really none of your business."

You let out a loud scoff at that.

"You were ready to become my stepmother less than a year ago," You continue. At this, her movements falter. "You could've chosen any city. Any job. But you chose Gotham."

"You realize we both might die today, right?"

"Yes. And I don't want to die not knowing why you left us, just to come back and dangle it in front of my dad."

Her movements stop completley.

"I didn't come here for James Gordon." She's firm in her stance. In one last fluid moment, the lock unclicks before our eyes. She heaves a small sigh of relief.

She offers you the cuticle pusher. You take it. About three seconds in, it breaks. Shit.

Not the worst fate in the world, you think. You'd be able to see Mr. Tetch again. Ask him all the unanswered questions. That is, if he doesn't immediately kill you. Maybe you’re a fool to think a part of him enjoyed your company.

"You can still escape." You nod to Lee, hopeful she'll leave, hopeful she'll stay. With what you said to her earlier, you wouldn't blame her.

"I'm not leaving you here," She speaks. Her tone is gentle. Somewhat motherly. The sentiment actually makes guilt bubble up inside you. "There's got to be something else."

Looking around the room madly, you two are interrupted in your searching's.

"My, my," A voice drawls. You know that voice. "You two have been busy."

There he is.

Jervis stands tall, looking down at the both of you. You meet his gaze. For the first time in quite awhile, that feeling of electricity shoots through you again. You want to tear yourself apart. Find whatever part of your brain is fascinated with the idea of this man. Cut it out of you, examine it, and throw it away.

"Now, if you'd kindly join me in the dining room?" He speaks. You notice his eyes are focused solely on you, effectively ignoring Lee. He still looks relatively angry though.

Despite his demeanor, he offers you a hand to help you up. Lee watches his movements. You take his arm without question. That seems to spark something in his eyes. In Lee's eyes, too.

...You're unsure if that's a good or bad sign.

[666writingcafe]

Meanwhile...

Mammon

I know I'm being stupid. I shouldn't be following Simeon to his room after he blew up at us in the dining car. If he's anything like Satan, I might as well start digging my grave.

But I can't leave him alone. I don't know why; it's just a gut feeling that I have. Still, my gut has never led me astray. And I'm not talking about when its judgment is clouded by greed, but during situations like this one. You know, life and death sorta things.

I take a deep breath before opening the sliding door. Simeon's back is turned to me, appearing to look out the train window.

"Hello, Mammon." His voice sounds eerily calm, like how Lucifer gets sometimes right before he begins torturing people.

I can't flee. I have to see this through.

"Dude, what happened back there? I've never seen you react like that, not even during the war."

"That is none of your concern." Simeon slightly turns his head to the right. "Tell me, why did you feel the need to bully Luke?"

"That wasn't my original intention--"

"Answer the question."

"I will, if you'll let me finish!" Silence. "Look, I believe he needs to be taught how to relax. He's way too uptight. I mean, he can't even take a little joke! The kid's a real piece of work."

"It's only a joke when everyone involved finds it amusing."

"Well, I can't help wantin' to tease him sometimes! In some ways, he kinda reminds me of myself when I was that age."

"Oh, really?" Simeon doesn't believe me.

"Seriously?! Don't you remember what I was like once upon a time?"

"A nuisance?"

"Naive, Simeon. I was that lost puppy. Cute, friendly, energetic, but incredibly oblivious to what the real world was like. I mean, isn't that why you guys are sendin' him to the Devildom and human world in the first place?" He sighs.

"Yes."

"It's almost been three years, and yet from this side of things he hasn't learned jackshit. He's still convinced that the way angels do things is the right way. He doesn't wanna even consider that he could be wrong."

"Oh, like you're doing much better," Simeon snaps.

"At least I'm doing something! You're just standing around and waiting for Luke to discover the world on his own. He needs guidance! And sometimes that means forcing him to experience new things whether he likes it or not!"

"And who are they going to blame when shit hits the fan, Mammon?" Simeon's facing me now, staring daggers into my face. "You were in charge of MC during the exchange program; what would have happened if a demon decided to have them for lunch during their first ever week in the Devildom?"

"The demon would get in trouble, obviously. But I'm not sure what this has to do with Luke--"

"Do you wanna know what else would have happened?" I'm not going to get another word in until he's done ranting, am I?

"People would have begun asking questions," Simeon quickly continues. "'Where was Mammon at the time?' 'Why didn't he stop the demon from eating MC?' And if you weren't able to come up with acceptable answers to those questions, your ass would have been on the line, because you failed to do your job.

"Oh, maybe you'd escape with a light punishment. After all, you have friends in high places that can bail you out of trouble. But what if you used up all your chances? What if protecting MC and ensuring they survived the exchange program was the one thing that would save you from a fate worse than death? What would you do then, Mammon?"

Oh my God...I knew he'd gotten demoted due to his lack of cooperation during the early stages of the war, but I didn't realize he was that close to being sent there. It's the one place in the Devildom that the Celestial Realm has control over, and it's usually reserved for the worst of the worst. The truly irredeemable.

And he's right. Being sentenced there is a fate worse than death.

"Simeon, I'm sorry. I...I didn't know." I walk over to him and tentatively hover my hand over his shoulder. He remains still, allowing me to rest my hand on there.

"Only Michael and Raphael do," he whispers. "They were the ones that offered me the guardianship over Luke. If anything happens to him, they won't show me mercy again, especially in light of them discovering that fucking notebook."

"You know Lord Diavolo would take you in." Simeon shakes his head.

"I don't want to spend the rest of my existence serving him." He pauses. "I'm sure he's a kind master, but he still rules over you guys. I want to be under my own power."

"What about MC?" The question slips out of my mouth, causing a corner of Simeon's to curve up slightly.

"That is an arrangement I'd prefer to keep between me and them."

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

"Puppy meets cat" woking title

✰---a/n: um so I disappeared! at least from writing. please enjoy chapter one to a fic with a working title! I’m planning on making this a three chapter fic or maybe just two let’s see how that goes! Don’t know how well this will do so let’s also see how that goes! This is supposed to be like an opposites attract type vibe where Vernon is the shy cat personality and the reader is sorta an excitable puppy personality. anyways please enjoy lovely!

✰---approx: 30 min read ✰---warningz/info: It’s meet cute idk the next chapter is gonna be pure smut I think who knows. Planning on making a non smutty version or just give a rundown of what happened in the theirs chapter for those who can’t read smut so look out for that!

~this is simply a piece of fiction. My imagination onto “paper.” This is in no way is mean to be taken as an actual and real representation of anyone.~

••••••••••••••••

You'd always liked dogs. they were playful, loyal, and often fluffy. what was not to want to cuddle up next to?

You wouldn't want it any other way. that means every time your dog would stall trying to leave for a walk you wouldn't get mad. maybe annoyed, yes. but mad? how could you ever be when two seconds later your dog is wagging its tail and enjoying the fresh air?

and at the little park you like to walk around, you really couldn't be happier either. looking at your dog, so focused as youre walking. even with one ear bud out you weren't paying that much attention. you knew your dog would alert you if there was any suspicious person or animal coming your way. you were so carefree in that moment, as cheesy as it sounds.

that was.... until you tripped straight over something.

well, something and someone, bracing your fall on your hands and landing straight into the hard pavement. you weren't hurt, a very minor scratch on your left palm was the least of your worries. your dogs leash was still tightly gripped into your other hand and as you looked over... phew your dog was fine. in fact, maybe a little too fine with the stranger it was completely fine with. your dog trotted over a second later. with a man, a very good looking one at that, taking a step closer to you on the ground.

you petted your dog on the head as you get up, unknowingly surpassing the kind hand of the guy offering to help you up. once youre on your feet you notice hes... connected to something... a leash? your mind starts scrambling. did you just trip over this cute guys dog? shit shit shit you think. but before you can say anything he speaks up. "are you ok? im so sorry about that. what about your dog?" he seemed more freaked out than you. which was somehow possible.

"oh yeah, dont worry. were good!" you smile, I mean you hand wasn't even hurting, "Im more startled than anything."

he scratches the back of his neck. "no seriously tho. I should've been watching where I was going. I usually walk my cat at a different time when not as many people are out and-- yeah you know."

wait, did he just say walk his cat? you replay it again in you mind and yeah, he just did. you follow that leash the rest of the way to the previously assumed by you to be a dog at the end of it to find... a cat... laying on the pavement. you do a double-- looking back and forth between the holder of that leash and what it was attached to again. take cause how did he just say that like it was the most normal thing in the world? "your Cat?" he chuckles, and it makes you a little distracted, a smile creeping onto your lips. "oh yeah. he doesn't really like--"

"you walk your cat?" you interrupt him. good, he thinks because he was about to go on an entire nervous rant about how his cat hates the leash so then he had to buy a longer one but now hes starting to think that his cat doesn't like leashes in general cause here he is every day in this park dragging his cat along. he blinks at you.

"bro, you dont walk cats..." you chuckle, eyebrows creased almost concerned. he presses his lips "well who are you to tell me what to do? maybe I do?" you rein your dog in closer to the two of you because of a biker zooming past. and to your surprise your dog is perfectly find with the complete stranger, almost cozying up to him. you cock your eyebrow. "oh yeah and how's that going for you?"

he rolls his eyes and sticks out his chin teasingly “oh yeah well at least mine doesn’t pee inside the house” you raised and eyebrow. “Ok but yours does tho?” You’re honestly really confused as to what he’s talking about. Did he fall too?? Was his head damaged? “Don’t cats use litter boxes that are, I dunno, inside?” He bursts out laughing. And suddenly you’re out at ease, even with the small scratch on your hand and even tho your dog is loving up to the stranger making you feel a little jealous. You stoped and shamelessly stared for a second too long. You finally got a minute to take him in. not just his soft spoken demeanor, but everything. his dark brown hair somehow shined in the sun along with his deep eyes. Ones you could spend so long mapping out— intricately crafted like out of the bark of a tall healthy mahogany tree.

“I’m just messing with you. Your dog is super cute by the way!” He comments. You look at your dog, sniffing this stranger with a cat none the less and wagging its tail. “Aw thanks! So is your cat— cuddly looking just like its owner haha. I have to admit I usually don’t like cats but yours seems really chill” he ducks his head muttering a thank you in a deep blush before saying “yeah duh. Chill is one way to put it.” he grumbles, though looking at his pet with a smile. it had made its way over to you two. now more awake and seeming happy to bee there. "well im glad!" he smiles, "and they aren't trying to go at each others necks." he observes with a chuckle. you take another glance at the two cutie fluffy babies-- actually playing together peacefully.

and then... you look back at him. if this wasn't a good sign you dont know what is.

youre about to say something, feel him out a little, maybe ask to meet your pets up for a play date and be a little bold. but his eyes travel to your palm. and he almost drops his leash. hes usually calm cool and just pretty chill, at least thats what his friends would describe him as. but now hes kinda freaking out. in one quick motion, he scoops up his cat and guides you to sit down on the park bench running off, yelling back at you that hes gonna go get you a bandage.

as he bolted into the store he didnt even care that it probably was illegal to bring your pet in there. he paid no mind to any weird looks because oh god how did he not realize you were bleeding? I mean, it wasn't much, but he still felt rally bad.

"I had no idea you were bleeding! im so sorry bro." he gently takes your hand in both his after he sets down the plastic bag from the local drugstore. you look around you in mild embarrassment as your cheeks heats up when he gets on one knee in front of you. a couple passersby smiled at the both of you and you were frozen.

"take me out to dinner first. damn. already proposing?" you try to laugh through the embarrassment as he puts the ointment on your scratch with a q-tip. his touch was feather light, and your body was in flames once again.

he laughs, "oh yeah youre kinda right." so now after siting down next to you, he peels open the bandage and places it over the very minor cut. again, to be honest it was only a little bit of blood. you had no idea why he was freaking out so much. him on the other hand? couldn't feel worse. he had just mad a very nice a pretty person bleed! he was gonna ask to walk your pets again sometime... now how the hell were you gonna say yes? he had hoped you didnt noticed his clammy forehead or shaky hands.

but to his surprise after he lifts his head... you smile at him. and he can't help but smile back

"this is too much! it wasn't that bad!" he shakes his head, "but you were bleeding!"

"barely."

"any blood is bleeding." you roll your eyes cutely,

"ok fine. agree to disagree."

he suddenly remembers what else is in the plastic bag and quickly plops it in your lap. with a shake of your head you pull out the contents. "you got the fancy water?! shiiiitt ok!" you admire the Fiji water bottle like its gold, holding it up to the sun. "only the best" he playfully nudges you, like a cat trying to get your attention to incise you to play. "had to make up for the scratch somehow.

the conversation goes from you two talking about how this is the best place to walk your pets even though his doesn't really um... walk. but hey, its still a great place to drag your cat you guess.

“see my cat is cuter than me. Somehow you’re cuter than your pet tho” as he’s dabbing a clean tissue on the scrape of your palm. you look up at him-- hair falling in his eyes. a shame really, you wanted to keep looking at those pretty eyes. "Paw Patrol?" you chuckle, even though hes not looking at you. he snickers, "listen, marshal and Skye are adorable." he pours a little water on your cut to clean it.

"you know their names?" "of course I do! come on the show is literally about animals!" he says playfully as he lays the sticky tabs of the bandaid on your skin, then gently pats them down. all the while youre trying not to notice how one hand is gripping your hand in his by the wrist, his pointer finger running up the center of the the back of your hand, thumb on the side of it entirely. his hands are... big, god are the big, but they're gentle and soft. and thats what makes it so hard to concentrate on responding to him.

"I guess I need to brush up on my tv watching then." it didnt come out as unbothered as you wanted it too but you doubt he even paid attention to that by the way hes smoothing out the bandaid and opening your water bottle for you. he finally looks up at you and shakes his head slightly, wordless for a moment, eyes squinting cause of the sun setting behind you.

it was like it was trying to tell him something

"what? no... this is a show about dogs" he says it, albeit jokingly with such seriousness. like he was setting you in on a fib protected secret or something. "no I couldn't tell from the police dog on the front of the box." you laugh. "I forgot that ones name but its a good show" he taps his chest "trust." you smile and nod at him as he gets up. "I'll give you my Disney account password, this is very important." you take a nervous swig of the water he opened then handed to you. "fill watch it then get back to you." you smile. at him, and he nods

somehow someway the two of you started walking along the parks path again. right along side each other. "so please, oh wise man, tell me all the lore from paw patrol" you laugh next to him as the silence got a little awkward. "or you could just watch the show!" he quips.

everything started to get better form then on out. his cat excitedly trotted along, keeping up with your dog who was as calm as ever. and really, neither of you were complaining. even when you two walked the entire park.... again... and again, and three more times. ending up at a little bench to rest your legs, though it really was just an excuse he'd made because any longer on his feet and hes literally fall for you and make a big fool of himself landing in front of you. not because he was tired. in fact he doesn't think hes ever felt more awake, not wanting to blow his chance, wanting to make a good impression. so really, this was to help his wobbly knees he got whenever you open your mouth.

your voice was ethereal. and it made something inside him spark in a way he never quite felt before. and well... he doesn't think he'll be able to get you out of his head when he gets home that evening, so he doesn't leave. not even when the conversation gets a little dry, but never awkward just in each others presence.

and for that same reason you dont get up from that bench you two sit on, overlooking the pretty landscape, and maybe sneaking the occasional glance at each other. your pets were cutely playing with each other like an adorable Pinterest video at this point so really... for the sake of your dog, how could you leave?!

and also for that same reason you turn to him fully, smiling and swallowing that wad of spit that was building up in your throat just thinking about this for the last thirty minutes. "hey its... its getting pretty late." you comment. he turns to you. "oh yeah youre right! sorry about that youve probably got shit to do that doesn't include sitting here." you smile wider at hi, leaning down and folding yourself in half, elbows on your thighs and chin in your hands. oh god why'd he have to be this cute while being stupid?

you had half a mind to invite this total stranger to your place for the night, your dogs old pet bed would be perfect for his cat as he himself slept in yours. but that would probably be ya know a tad bit too bold. and it sounded like it might just slightly scare him off. besides, a fun little chase is fun. "im not bored or anything, watching our pets have fun is fun to me." you say as if you aren't just enjoying being with him just as much. "they'll probably miss each other." he comments, one hundred percent not also talking about the two of you.

(absolutely not what do you mean???? thats weird of you to even think that.)

"hm, they will." you turn back to him. away from your frolicking dog and his cat, suddenly breathing heavy as the sunset glow illuminates his features, roses hues he hopes you'll blame on the sky. "maybe we should set up a play date for them... they seem to really like each other."

he nods his head in agreement, he can't pry his eyes off of you. and lets be real, does he really want to? "yeah" he clears his throat then repeats, "yeah. for the pets-- can't stop their fun can we?" he chuckles. "for the pets" you agree, almost like youre convincing yourself. and with that, you two set up a day to meet up right where you fell in a couple days.

and as you pry your dog away from its new friend found in his cat, you think "maybe opposites do attract"

~end~

I hope y'all enjoy chapter one!! who the hell knows when chapter 2 will be up I make no promises that it will be soon lmao

Taglist: @bamtorin

[halsteadlover]

Just a little rant here about my personal life so feel free to skip lol

I know nobody is gonna read this and I’ll probably delete this when I’ll come to my senses but right now I feel so depressed I just need to get this out of my chest. I always felt tumblr like a safe space so here I am.

I don’t know if you remember the times where I took some time off because of anxiety and my mental health.

Lately it feels like it’s getting worse and I really don’t know what to do, I don’t know if many of you will relate (I really hope not) but it’s just like I don’t know how to be happy and I really hate it here man. I’m so tired of feeling like this, always worrying and having anxiety about something I don’t even know about. I feel so crazy sometimes you know? Like there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m honestly so grateful for the things god gave me. I’m healthy, I have a loving family (even if sometimes they’re overbearing to the point of crazy), I get to study for my dream job, I have a bf that puts up with my ass, friends even if few of them, there’s nothing wrong there are so many worse things people go through and I don’t even have to right to rant about any of this. So why do I feel like I don’t deserve any of this?

I have such deep trust issues it’s ruining my life and relationships, I don’t know why. I hate myself and I sometimes think I don’t deserve to be loved, I’m not that speciale and I’m so damn insecure that every good thing that happens in my life I can’t help but think it’s gonna fade in a minute, that something bad might happen, that I’m so easily replaceable.

Sometimes I truly think that if I disappeared no one would notice or miss me, I thought about doing it but I’m so damn scared. I don’t know where this is coming from, maybe the bullying had something with it I don’t honestly know but I’m so tired of feeling like this.

Why can’t I just love me? Why can’t I enjoy a single good thing that happens to me? Why do I keep sabotage myself by thinking I don’t deserve any happiness and it’ll soon fade away?

For example, these last two days I took three different exams and even though I’m relieved I can’t help but think I’m such a failure, that my parents are so disappointed in me for taking so long to finish a degree I was supposed to finish years ago.

I had an anxiety attack yesterday morning while I was with my bf and I sobbed for hours while he held me but if you ask me what triggered it I wouldn’t know how to answer you.

Why am I like this? Why am I not normal?

It’s just a bit of everything and I honestly don’t know what to do.

But please don’t judge me. I’m aware these “problems” are nowhere serious like some others and I’m so sorry for being so dramatic it’s just… I don’t know guys, I just want to be happy, to feel loved without actually thinking about the worst.

Am I soo pretentious? Do I sound so ungrateful? Complaining about these things when I have everything some people unfortunately dream of? I don’t want to sound like that and I feel so guilty about having these thoughts.

I know you’ll think I’m an attention seeker, fishing for compliments or things like that, I’ve been told that before here and I’m so sorry if it seems that way but trust me it’s the opposite of that. I’m telling this here because I guess it’s easier behind the screen, when no one knows you and can really judge you, but I also thing you’ll judge me anyway but at least it was good for me to let this out.

If someone reads this I hope you won’t think of me any less, and if you’re feeling something like this too I’m so sorry and if you want to talk my inbox and DMs are ALWAYS open for you guys, I’m here even if it takes me some time to answer.

Sorry if something doesn’t make any sense, I didn’t even read this back I’m just cried my eyes out while writing this post and now I have a headache. At least I hope the sleeping will be good lmao.

But tomorrow will be better, I’m sure of this.

[importantdestinydefendor]

5, 6, 9, and 10 with Daryun and Saam for the ask game! 👀

Oh, what wonderful characters! (And so obviuse lmao but that is on me for talking about them so much) and what fun questions! I went a little on a rant here, sorry!

If anyone wants to partake here are the original questions/post!

WARING: Long post

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

I usually am a person who listens to a song and is reminded of the character, rather than looking or thinking about a character and being reminded of a song. So I had to wade through my song list to find the perfect songs for my two special boys. And damn, was it HARD.

For Daryun - Lion by Saint Mesa: The whisperlike/calm singing combined with the overwhelming sound and powerful lyrics talking about somebody embracing their inner power (only a loose summary, do check out the entire meaning of the lyrics) remind me of him. He is a strong man and has many remarkable qualities. He is a courageous man who doesn’t shy away from challenges in his way nor from showing warmth to his friends/companions.

Lyric that remind me of him: “Gold are your fingers, leaving traces everywhere you go” “Sound of the water, deads dripping down your face” “Bring the lion out, bring the, bring the lion out”

For Sam - Warrior by Aurora: It reminds me of how he is trapped in his own mind and guilt of what happened in Ecbatana (as he tells Kishward in Chapter 124) and wishes for his own death. But he still fights on for what he believes in and to protect what he holds close and to keep people safe.

Lyric that remind me of him:  “I can’t recall the last time I opened my eyes to see the world as beautiful.” “I’m trying to battle the night.” “Just reach out for the light, warrior, warrior.”

There are obviously more songs but for now, I chose these. For Daryun it was the hardest. Most of these songs will also probably be in my playlist for the AU as they both ALSO remind me of Azar. 

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Ok, be prepared for a little self-love/self-praise in this one (which is needed sometimes. Practice self-love, folks!).

I generally pride myself on being kind, friendly and (somewhat???) loyal as a friend and general human being. And who is quite literally the definition of loyalty?? Our famed knight in black, Daryun! (Sam as well, but that is not as noticeable under his other great characteristics (even though the recent chapters have proven me wrong)). 

But most importantly, we three are the mom-friends. We care deeply for our friends and people we hold close to us. Daryun is the more protective mom-friend - always asking if you are okay and please, do send a text when your home safe and sound (I actually did that to a guy friend of mine. It was after a party of mine, it was after midnight and he wanted to head home for the night (he came by bike). I and another friend of ours didn't let him go until he promised us that he would send a text that he was home. I literally didn’t go to sleep UNTIl I had the text. It was like 2 or so in the morning! (I was also slightly tipsy), He only lived 20 minutes away from me, mind you).

Sam would be the mom-friend who would lend you a shoulder and an ear if you need it. He would hate it if an argument ensues between some of his friends and try to be the mediator. Probably has like random medical stuff (band-aid, painkillers, etc.) or other things one might need at hand. (I always have band-aids, at least two bottles of water, different types of pain medication, something against a cough or a small bite to eat (usually small chocolate bars) with me.) He (and Daryun, actually) would give you their jacket, scarf, etc. in a heartbeat. (I always have something to change into with me if it’s too warm/cold outside, be it a scarf, extra pair of gloves or a tshirt. If you even vaguely mention around me that you are cold, I will immediately offer you my jacket, pullover, etc.)

9.Could you be roommates with this character?

And while we talk about them being mom-friends, they would probably be wonderful roommates.

I would always have a clean and organized flat/home, probably a full fridge and no worries of a brake in (the burglar would run in fear jkashnscfluf). When stressed, they would probably hype me up and remind me to take regular breaks. While Sam would probably be the one cooking, etc, Daryun would repair things around the flat and move heavy stuff when asked.  Look after things when I’m sick, take care of me, regular mental health checkup, etc. Fun late night talks and at least one regular thing we would all do together (like regular strolls, movie nights, going out to eat, that kind of stuff). Also weekly sit downs for discussing roles for housework, expenses for all of us, etc. A lot of my friends would say we have a cute family dynamic (Sam -the dad, Daryun the older brother, me- the youngest/the baby). A lot of compliments for achievements, my art, etc from them. My two personal trainers for working out (and also muscles to oogle at all day long consensually and politely of course (yes, there I said it!)). Always making sure that I’m safe and rush to help/save me from weirdos/situations I don’t feel safe in/ etc. Would have period products with them when we’re out and not squeamish to talk about normal woman anatomy/health, etc.

But as there are upsides there are also downsides in everything.

They would probably constantly be on my ass for doing things and reminding me of my deadlines (probably). Daryun would be up and early to go for a jog, the gym, his general workout, etc, while Sam would be already cleaning the apartment after one (1) coffee. Like imagine, it is a Saturday and I think, I can sleep in? Nope, 5 or 6 am, the men of the house are up and doing their routines. Probably trying to be quiet, but failing. Sam MUST have first cleaned the house before he can do ANYTHING else in his day (like my mom). Daryun would have a whole cabinet of protein powder/stuff for himself and oh my god, the many times I would send myself flying over his home-workout equipment? I would be a WALKING bruise. And when we are already talking about the work out, Sam and Daryun would both probably try to get me to work out more. Always pushing me to my limits (“You can do it!” or “One more.” “No, TWO more!” bro, no. I have pudding and noodles for arms. The only thing I will manage to do is for me to hurt myself the weirdest way possible and you have to patch me up AGAIN. I literally ripped a tendon in my ankle by TURNING AROUND IN MY ROOM! You have to put me in bubble wrap and I would STILL manage to hurt myself.). When I go out they would make me promise to text them when I arrive or am about to leave. When it is like a minute after agreed time (call, coming home, etc.) texts and calls would ensue. Out of fear and worry for my well being, of course. Like, you know how parents sometimes call several times and you would get annoyed? Yeah, that. Full on parent mode from the both of them. Sweet at first but a little overwhelming after a while. And since they are, ya know, men, the sink would look terrible after a shave! They would try to be clean, obviously, but sometimes they forget. So, deep cleaning it is! 

But there are more pros than cons and most cons would be me being clumsy and them having to patch me again, sooo… 

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

Sam

Probably not really. He is a lot older than me and it would probably be more of a casual friend than a full on best friend. Like the older coworker you slowly become friends with and have some casual meetings in a cafe with and sometimes invite for dinner or a party with some friends. But it would always be fun and you could probably get GREAT life and/or dating advice from him. Always a life hack or wisdom in store and a fun life story to tell. Easily could lighten up the entire party with stories when he has good energy. Later on would probably sit more alone or have a casual talk with somebody as his energy goes down. But still, fun to be around regardless

Daryun

Oh, Brother! Not to the extant as he and Narsus are, but still! It would be like watching a competition of who can take more care of the other (like the meme where two people constantly upstage each other so the other doesn’t get shot.). Regular hangouts, just sitting with each other and enjoying the others present, movie nights, etc. Basically very similar to what I have written down for the roommate one. Would help me in any need, have a few jokes up his sleeve for when I’m down and hype me up as much as he can. Does tell me when I made a blunder but as gently as possible (I’m sensitive as hell, I WILL cry and think about it to no end!). (WARNING: A little self indulgence in the next phrase. If you find this cringe, huh, SUCK IT.)  Friends would either say we are siblings from another parent/brother and sister, OR we would make a great couple, are couple goals and if we aren’t married in the next few years, they won’t believe in true love anymore. No in between! Regardless of if we have feelings for each other or not. But he would be a very reliable best friend and I would do the same for him in a heartbeat! Lend him my ear, draw stuff for his birthday, etc. But Daryun better get ready for dem hugs as my love language is physical touch and I LOVE cuddling! (There is probably some gift giving and acts of services in there too). If he isn’t a fan of it, I would obviously respect his boundaries.

[resizura]

hi, i am putting this on anonymous because i am shy. what are some themes you would like/wish the remakes to expand on?

I'm answering this late I am very sorry

SO this is a lot for me to think about and hopefully i can keep it concise because I tend to ramble

Put under a 'Read More' because this will be super long

To start, I think that I just wish Capcom wouldn't be so lukewarm with its themes. This is probably the biggest problem because (to me, at least) it can't focus on what it wants to tell the audiences.

They are obviously trying to make the series way more "serious" and yet they completely tone down its foundational messages. Sure some of that has to do with the more actiony tone it took after RE4, but let's just back up to the original trilogy.

RE1, RE2, and RE3 were essentially a three-part and yet self contained story that followed a small cast of police officers (save claire and carlos) during the zombie apocalypse. An apocalypse that was caused by corporate greed and the need to capitalize and profit off of scientific research for militarization purposes. While a little silly and outlandish in the final product, the three games (especially 2, IMO) have great storytelling and execution of its themes. Umbrella and Raccoon City Police are corrupt, and there are terrible ethics surrounding BOWs.

Now compare that to the remakes. Now, RE1make is my favorite remake because it kept the original feel and look to the game, kept the story relatively the same, and improved on it in terms of voice lines, graphics, and gameplay. The only major change is adding Lisa Trevor, who I think is a great addition because we get to follow the Trevor family through the game and get a look at how Umbrella exploited them and made them into monsters, a personal touch on something hard for us to comprehend.

RE2make and RE3make on the other hand.... well now we have around 20 extra years of Resident Evil to influence these and if you're familiar with my blog, you'll know that story wise, I do not like these games (especially RE2make). These games changed so much of the original story to make them more "realistic" and in the process, sort of lost the plot. Too many times in the modern remakes, things happen that hint to something from the original games but overall? It's not there.

As an example, I want to go over specifically how the police chief Brian Irons is portrayed. In the original game, the player learns little bits about him through files. We know he's dangerous, violent, and has been taking bribes from Umbrella. The bribes are to help him have control over the city. He was highly influential in the Spencer Mansion cover up, where his main role was shutting down STARS so they wouldn't be able to investigate the incident. He worked directly with William and Annette Birkin and took bribes to prevent police from investigating the sewers so their lab work was undisturbed. In RE2, we see him spiraling because "Umbrella destroyed his beautiful town." He traps and kills police officers and innocent civilians, basically rants to Claire about how power hungry he is and he is the one who gets to choose who lives and dies in his police station. Basically, we see point blank that Irons is egotistical and wants nothing more than to keep that power for himself. A corrupt police chief who shows how money and power twist a person for the worse.

In RE2make, he is reduced to just a sick man who physically beats up the young female characters and just wants to torture people. While the bribes are still (briefly) mentioned in this game most of Irons' character is now "Look at how sick this guy is! Isn't he scary? Wow! He's so scary isn't he?" There's nothing about his need and desire for power and control over his city and police station (hell, he leaves the police station 3 seconds after he's introduced!). Sure, you could argue it's implied, but this is a perfect example of Capcom not really committing to something it strongly depicted in the past.

Looking at RE4 Remake, a similar issue occurs! The original game was vehemently anti-American. The file "Our Mission" is the most explicit you can get. Yet the remake tiptoes around it and honestly ends up more patriotic! Leon's role as a government agent is glorified, Ashley wants to be an agent, Krauser gets told off by Leon for not trusting the American government, and the lack of Saddler appearances all contribute to this! Death Island and Infinite Darkness had similar problems of Capcom calling out the American government but then backtracking at the last second. I want them to just stick to a theme for once! Not alluding to one or tiptoeing around it. Say it!

Next on the list is one that I've stated before but the actual ethics and humanity that organizations like Umbrella toy with. A lot of the BOWs feel just like monsters you fight when a lot of them were real people with their lives taken from them. This is also why I liked Lisa Trevor from the first game's remake since she was a human experimented on and we got taken through her and her parent's journeys. OG William Birkin and Remake William Birkin are also perfect examples of this. In the original game you feel like you're fighting Birkin, but in the remake it just feels like a depersonalized monster.

Similarly, I do wish some of the themes were done more tastefully, such as the whole eugenics stuff with Spencer and the Wesker projects. I don't think it should be completely scrapped but I feel like you can't just throw that into your games and barely talk about what it means lmao

This is not really a theme but better perspectives on the female characters. This is purely a personal opinion but I think horror with female protagonists is way cooler than ones with male protagonists, and weirdly enough I think this shift happened when RE4 came out. Jill and Claire were more fleshed out and important characters than Leon and Chris when the OG trilogy came out, but now their roles have been greatly reduced to practically nothing. And why was RE6, a game where a creepy man cloned Ada Wong more about Leon, Chris, and Jake than it was about Ada herself? Also, I wish we could've had either of RE7 or RE8 actually have Mia be the protagonist instead of Ethan because I think either of those games from her perspective would be super cool to experience.

Now that I think about this, I blame this purely on the action shift because even for the male characters, I greatly prefer OG2 Leon, OG2/CVX Chris, CVX Steve than OG4 Leon, OG5 Chris, and DSC Steve (although Remake Carlos is definitely above OG3 Carlos). I want to learn more about Jill, and Claire, and Ada, and Rebecca, and Mia, and pretty much most of the female characters, and I'm so sick of seeing the male characters who are only there because they're cool action heroes.

I wish RE focused more on small communities and small isolated things. I think RE is too big now. Like starting out in a small suburban town affected by murders and experimentation and now like we've gone to multiple parts of the globe and now there's a mold baby with mold superpowers in the future and that mold is actually what started everything (totally not retconned)?? Like let's dial it back.

For the last thing I'll mention is that I wish the remakes focused on the themes of horror rather than just the aesthetics of it. Like yeah, the games are a bit darker and scarier, but they're still more action games now. I loved RE7 because of this, because the Bakers were a good horrific family both in the looks and what they represented!

I think all in all I have a lot of wishes for the franchise and I know it's completely unrealistic to wish about them and sorry for bombarding everyone with this huge wall of text! I have a lot to say lmao

[tevantarlos]

For me, you’re totally right!!! The writing has been so terrible lately. I didn’t know where else to rant, so I apologize in advance for the HUGE rant.

It’s getting annoying and tiring that we have to follow up with so many different storylines.

It doesn’t even make sense anymore. I mean, we have at least five more villains. Of course, we knew some from before but it’s STILL unbearable. They tried to fit so much into an episode when it could’ve fit into an entire season.

For reference, there were a lot of unfinished storylines:

- Rosalind’s accomplice

- People targeting the police and someone taking out the “guy” behind it (why was it brushed over???)

I don’t know about you but I’m TIRED of Monica. There was a lot of screen time that could’ve gone to the main characters of the show but it didn’t.

But what I’m hating right now is the way Everton treats Lucy.

IT’S INFURIATING. After Jackson’s death, it seemed like she had no one other than Tim or Tamara. However, she doesn’t have either at the moment.

IT WAS ALSO SUPPOSED TO BE HER DAMN BIRTHDAY!!! Why did no one say anything? They (Angela and Nyla) also brushed off what she said about having 12 undercover identities. I don’t know about you but they’ve never been encouraging.

It’s sad and disheartening that her friend is a LITERAL teenager and treats her better than everyone else on the show. With Tim out of the picture, she’s alone. I mean, what happened to everyone’s friendship? It used to be Nolan, Jackson, and Lucy. I know they used to date but I mean, come on, they moved on so why shouldn’t they stay friends?

The fact that Nolan’s more friendly with his ROOKIE is baffling. (I love Celina by the way, this isn’t a diss.

I mean, what happened to character development? We don’t see much of Aaron or Celina. They waste so much time with storylines that fizzle out the next episode and don’t matter anymore because either Angela, Wesley, or whoever can’t (legally speaking) touch the criminals.

I’m more upset that they ruined Chenford. For drama? This show won’t be getting renewed in the future, maybe there’ll be an eight season but come on…It’s upsetting how we won’t see Lucy and Tim together anymore. Wasted five seasons of my life only for them to break up and end their relationship in one.

Personally for me, I believe Lucy and Tim are the ones who have TRULY been through it.

I mean, I understand everyone else has their stuff. However, Lucy has been kidnapped and nearly died. Her parents aren’t even supportive of her career. Her best friend died.

TRIGGER WARNING (ABUSE/SUICIDE)

DOWN BELOW

!!!

While Tim was abused by his father, found out about his father’s affair, had to sell the house he was abused in, etc. He went to war and now the whole thing with Mad Dog jumping off the roof!

Meanwhile, everyone else is happy. Sure, they went through so much but they AT LEAST HAVE SOMEONE TO HELP THEM THROUGH IT!

THESE TWO HAVE NO ONE!!! They aren’t married or have good parents!!!

Sorry for my rant, feel free to ignore but I’m sad about the turnout of this season. I wished they somehow got married and moved into a beautiful house far away from this chaos, and had at least three children by next episode but that won’t happen.

There's too much to try and keep track of in too few episodes.

The pacing of the episodes is utter crap because they tried to cram a full season worth of shit (which is usually 20 to 22 episodes), into half a season of 10 episodes.

So the storylines are all over the place. The characters are running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

Don't apologize. I bitch a lot on this blog. No one I know in RL watches the show, so the only people I can rant to are other fans on here.

Where do you get 5 more villains? I thought it was 3. Monica, Blair and the guy who I think is mobbed up, that Lucy's working for as UC, and taking care of his kid. Who else do you think is involved? Oscar? I think he just did Monica a few favors. I don't see him as one of the villains of the season.

As for the unfinished storylines, I'd be very surprised if they finished them. The show has a lot of problems and this, and the timeline are major ones, imo.

I hate Monica and have ever since she came on the scene. All her BS doesn't interest me at all, and I want Angela to kill her.

Who is everton? I'm sure you meant someone else, because I don't know a single character with that name. So, I can't comment on it because I don't know. Do you mean Primm, the guy that stopped her from making Detective?

I hate that Lucy lost both Tim and Tamara this season. Also, don't get me started on the birthday bullshit. Tim's the only one who remembered and even did something for her.

John's supposed to be her friend, but ever since Jackson was killed and Bailey's stupid ass got with him, he's basically been like 'Lucy, who?'

As for Angela and Nyla, I'm already pissed that they were being assholes to Lucy earlier in the season. Angela only gets involved with Lucy, when it involves Tim. Nyla doesn't give a shit in any way.

John doesn't have time for Lucy. He's up his lame ass wife's ass all the time, and dealing with Celina's spiritual bullshit.

Honestly, while Celina has grown on me a little, I still like Aaron more and want him to have more screen time than her. But yet, I'm assuming their scenes were cut since there was only 10 episodes and they had to force the drama bullshit though, so their scenes were cut.

Yeah, I agree about Chenford. They've both been put through the ringer this season more than anyone else, and yet they get fucked over while everyone else gets to be happy. That's such bullshit.

I'll admit, I like drama. It makes shows interesting. However, when the drama and bullshit doesn't let up and my favorite characters are sad/hurt/lonely/abandoned all the fucking time, it doesn't make me want to keep watching, as it's too depressing.

[honey-minded-hivemind]

My favorite character from the Owl House is Hunter because his character arc is so good and his relationship with Willow is adorable. (He literally fell for her at first sight)

And my favorite character from X Men is Kitty (I hate her relationship with Cyclops because she was a CHILD AND HE WAS A GROWN ASS MAN WHEN THEY MEET IN THE COMICS. Also can I just say that I hate that they make Bobby (the guy who does the ice thing) gay because that came out of nowhere and it only happened because an alternative version Jean Gray and her version of Bobby is gay so she decides that all versions of Bobby is gay and she needs to help them be their true self and Bobby who keep in mind has shown sexual and romantic interest in women up to this point 'realizes' he's gay and the rest of the comic is just him coming out to everyone one by one and hardly anything else happens. I wouldn't have minded so much if it wasn't for the fact that most media still treats sexuality like there's only two options gay or straight which completely erases Bisexual, Pansexual, Demisexual, Asexual, to name a few. It just grinds my gears you know anyway sorry for the rant. Kitty deserves a good love interest hopefully she gets one)

I feel like if reader had magic I feel like it would be similar to ether to Luz's or Eda's.

Hunter was so awesome, and he felt relatable, too. He and Willow are cute together, let them have plant and palisman babies!

I like Kitty, and I haven't read the comics (except a handful) so I didn't even know that relationship was thing. (Who the f*ck wrote that?!) I use my favorite X-Men medias as canon, along with head and heart canons, because let's face it: There are so many separate comics with different writers, different movies and timelines, even three (now going to be four) separate X-Men cartoons, whatever books and games they have for the various media, and even the anime and other Marvel shows where the characters show up from time to time. It is SO confusing. So, I just pick my favorite out of the bunch and roll with those (and usually it makes enough sense. Except the timeline changes in the movies. That STILL confuses me. Who is alive? Who is dead? Hopefully Deadpool fixes things).

And yeah, for Bobby, only one version of him was gay. It would have made more senses if they built that into a story arc, took it slowly, instead of being so abrupt. Let the guy be gay or bisexual, but at least make it make sense and not just be considered a quirk or passing fancy. Give it some development. Some thought. Make it mean something. Let it happen like how The Owl House portrays romance and self-discovery. (I myself am part of the asexual community, and that took awhile to figure out, and to this day I'm still finding out more about how I view relationships, platonic or romantic or otherwise. I'm not sure if I truly am interested in romance or not, but in the past I had a crush on a guy and girl, and later found out I just thought they were really great friends). This stuff can take time, it can get messy and feel gut-wrenching, but it doesn't make a person less for being bisexual or gay or lesbian or asexual or straight or trans. None are better than the others, and none are less than the others. It does help to realize all of this isn't back and white. It's a big, mixed canvas of grays in every shade of cloud and ash and silver and stone and eggshell and storm and smoke. (Point is, LGBTQA+ isn't back and white, neither is being straight, but these things are not just quirks. They shouldn't be treated that way, as those are valid beliefs and emotions that don't go away). (I hope I said this right, I'm not always great explaining my thoughts on this kind of thing).

Reader having a power similar to Luz or Eda would be so wild! Surprise, they have glyphs! Surprise, they're part owl beast! They have wild magic, they're blessed by the last Titans, they kicked an evil old emperor/hypocrite into dust! The series finale might have been a little rushed (thanks a LOT, Disney. You should have given them extra time! Extra episodes! A whole lot more episodes than just three for the third season!) but I thought it was still good for the constraints put on Dana and her team. They did good.

[crow-talks-hockey]

It Seems Unforgiving When a Good Thing Ends (But You and I Will Always Be Back Then) - a post-elimination Pens fic from Sid's POV

Sid had been irritable, angry, and pissed off the past week. He felt awful. More than that, however, in the end he just felt… sad. It was stupid, but he couldn’t help staring at the standings and wishing they could have done better. For sixteen straight years, Sid had willed his team to the playoffs with the help of Evgeni and Kris. He’d won more awards than he could count, cemented his name in history, won three Stanley Cups, and so much more. Yet, they’d failed this time. He— he’d failed this time.

Inconsistency and injury after injury had made them miss the playoffs for the first time since his rookie year. Sid wanted to laugh. Those were just excuses. They could have done it. They could have made it happen if they’d just wanted it more. Sid knew it was petty, but he just wanted to scream. It was more complicated than that. It always was. He was getting older. He couldn’t keep up the way he used to. So maybe Sid was spending too much time blaming the entire team and management, and not enough time blaming himself.

He sat in his stall in the locker room, leg bouncing and his head in his hands. The room was near-quiet, with nothing but the sound of the guys taking off their gear and the faint whispers of a few of them filling the room. It wasn’t tense, not anymore. It was just… vaguely sad. The weight of their failure rested heavy in the air, but no one bothered to acknowledge it. They were done. The season was done. There was nothing else to do, and they were going back to their hotel now. Well, everyone was except Sid. 

Sid? He stayed. He stayed in the away room for longer than he wanted to comprehend. He was hungry, tired, and still half-in his gear, but he couldn’t bring himself to stand and do much of anything. The lights were dull, and Sid was alone. Or at least, he’d assumed he was.

He was zoned out, staring blankly at his phone as it hung limp in his hand. The screen went from bright to dim and Sid absently tapped the screen to keep it on. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, a hand was clicking off his phone and removing it easily from his hands. Sid started, his breath hitching as his head snapped to attention. Unintentionally, he shrunk back into his stall, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. However, when he looked up it was just Evgeni. Instantly, the tightness in his chest faded and he relaxed. “Geno,  God, you—” exhaled Sid, running a shaky hand through his hair.

Geno immediately apologized gently, “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare.”

Sid smiled at the Russian’s kind and familiar warmth. “You’re alright.”

“But are you?” Geno responded plainly. 

Sid’s face fell, reality crashing back like a wave. Anxiety stabbed at his chest again and Sid winced at its sting. Was he okay? What a laughable question. Of course he wasn’t, he couldn’t even lie to himself about that. He was upset, and rightfully so. They all were. Sid shook his head with a laugh, “No. No, I’m not.”

Geno nodded. “It will be okay. We just try again, you know? We move forward.”

Sid sighed frustratedly, cringing at how much it seemed like he was pouting like a toddler. People that hated him would love this. “I don’t want to have to try again. I just wish…” Sid struggled to formulate the words, “I just wish we’d been better. About everything. I’m sure you get that.”

“Of course,” Geno agreed, placing a warm hand on Sid’s flushed cheek.

Sid practically melted at the touch, too tired to care about anything else. Frankly, he just wanted to rant. At least he knew Geno would be okay with that. He knew Geno would give him comfort and Sid was happy to accept that. 

Sid pursed his lips, looking up at Geno and studying him deeply. He searched the Russian’s features for an answer before he even asked the question. “G, why— why’d you stay? Why did you stay when you could have been paid more, when you could have been thriving elsewhere? I want to know. It just—” Sid looked to the ceiling, fighting back emotion— “it doesn’t make sense. I made my choice years ago, but you? You saw where we were going with all our first round exits and you stayed.”

Geno let Sid ramble on, knowing the captain wasn’t finished.

“And now we’re out. You worked so hard for nothing.” Sid paused before continuing, his voice gaining a sharp edge, “You could be somewhere like Boston. You could be on the team that wins it this year. You could have gone and I wouldn’t have blamed you… You could have left me. So why? Why’d you stay?”

Geno’s response was so kind, so instant, and jarring as a thunderclap. “Because of you, Sid. I stayed because of you.”

Sid stopped, almost about to go on, his mouth slightly agape. He felt the hot sting of tears in his eyes and blinked them away. This was too much. It was all too much. The loss on Tuesday, their playoff streak coming to an end, Sid and Geno both realizing that they were only getting older. A new generation was here and they couldn’t keep up. Yet, all through this, Geno had been there. Sid wanted to curse himself. How could he ask that question? It might as well have been a slap to Geno’s face and their friendship. 

Sid leaned instinctively forward into Geno’s chest and buried his head there, wrapping his arms tightly around the big Russian. Geno rubbed soothing circles into Sid’s back and pet his head softly, cooing reassurances into Sid’s raven’s-wing black hair.  Sid let the tears fall, feeling just like a kid again; with no one to protect him in a league that didn’t care if he made it out alive or not. He didn’t exactly cry, per say— Sid wouldn’t call it that, though maybe that was to save him his shame— but when he finally pulled away Geno’s button-up shirt was wet where Sid’s face had been. He rubbed fiercely at his eyes, swallowing thickly so that he could speak. “I’m sorry,” Sid apologized, voice wavering and he looked away. “This is stupid.”

“Yeah, it is,” murmured Geno, and Sid was shocked to hear that his friend’s voice was just as taut as his own.

When he looked back at him, Geno’s beautifully brown eyes were shining with tears. Sid began to giggle. How absurd. This whole situation was absurd; cruel and evilly plotted, but absurd. Geno’s own infectious laugh joined his and they dissolved into what one could only call unfamiliar madness. Sid threw his head back, cheeks still bright red and shining with drying tears. After a few long moments their laughter faded and Sid sighed, resting his head against Geno again. “I don’t even know why I’m still here,” admitted Sid. “I guess I thought that… maybe if I never left here, it wouldn’t be over.”

Geno peered at him affectionately, softly breaking the news once more, “It already is.”

Sid wanted to laugh, but the sting in his chest kept him from it. Evgeni was right. It was over, there was nothing he could do. They should be going home. Sid forced himself to stand, his legs asleep and cramped. He grabbed Geno’s arm to stable himself for a moment. Evgeni breathed out a laugh at Sid’s state. 

“What?” questioned Sid.

“You’re tired,” mused Geno, and Sid couldn’t tell if he was being teasing or genuine.

Sid ignored the remmark. “I need to get redressed. Have the others all gone?”

Geno snorted, “Yeah. While ago. Kris still waiting. He figured you want walk back.”

Sid nodded and pulled his undershirt over his head, all too aware of Geno’s gaze on him. He felt a mostly unwelcome blush warm his cheeks and ignored it. Quickly, he slipped on a plain white tee with his signature “87” where his heart would be. He finished redressing as he chatted idly with Geno and grabbed one of his hats, putting it on after brushing back his too-long curls with his hand. He heaved Geno to his feet and looped his arm around the Russian’s, leaning on him slightly.

They made their way out of the Columbus locker room and exited out the back. Kris was waiting, on his phone and leaning against the black railing at the bottom of the concrete stairs. Sid smiled warmly, the pain of understanding they weren’t going to be in the playoffs finally slipping away in the light of being around the two people he loved most in the world. He could handle this loss, just so long as he had these two. Come to think of it, Sid would take Kris and Geno staying over some dumb— but impressive— playoff streak any day. Sid shook his head to himself. Him questioning Geno staying in Pittsburgh was beginning to sound more and more insane. As it should be.

Kris gave Sid a warm smile and, before he even said anything, he wrapped Sid into an embrace. Sid eagerly accepted it, thankful for friends such as these. Geno patted his back once as Kris spoke into Sid’s neck, “We’ll be alright. You know that?”

Sid pulled away and readjusted his hat with a nod. “Yeah,” he stated as a hopeful feeling managed to worm its way into his voice. “Yeah, we will.”

Kris looked pleased with Sid’s response and he continued, “I assume you want to walk back? Clear your head?”

“You know me too well,”replied Sid with a small laugh. “You two don’t have to, though. I’ll be fine on my own. I know you’re probably exhausted.”

“And starving,” added Geno, he then revised, “but, that doesn’t matter. We go with you. Help clear our heads, too. Maybe… maybe if we go together, we all feel better. It will be good.”

Sid tilted his head at the Russian affectionately. Kris’ calloused but gentle hand was on his wrist, his thumb brushing over Sid’s wrist bone. Geno looked at him with only understanding. Sid steadied his breath, trying to not be overwhelmed with some mix of gratitude and sadness once more. 

He didn’t deserve this, didn’t deserve them. But he had them. And that was enough.

Sid smiled as they began their walk back to the hotel and he pulled Evgeni and Kris closer to him. Their steps faltered as they both lost a bit of balance at Sid’s abrupt motion, but they laughed and pushed Sid back. “Clingy,” muttered Kris lightheartedly.  

Sid shook his head and put his hands into his jacket’s pockets. “I’m not clingy.” Geno rose a brow skeptically and Sid stopped walking, putting his foot down. Sid peered up at him, shrugging as he incessantly reiterated, “I’m not.”

Geno nodded sarcastically. Kris gave Sid’s bicep a reassuring rub. “It’s okay, just admit it: you love us and hate being away from us.”

Sid crossed his arms and pouted at Kris. “Of course I love you two and don’t like being apart from you. We’ve spent our entire careers together. But that does not make me clingy.”

Kris leaned in close to his face, teeth sparkling in a grin. Sid resisted the urge to shove him away and he stood his ground stubbornly. He felt Geno’s hands bunching his shoulders, prodding him to just give in. “Just admit it,” Geno added. “We not tell anyone.”

Sid huffed out a breath, “Fine. But you owe me.”

Kris cooed sassily, “Owe you what?”

Sid started moving again, ignoring how embarrassingly red his cheeks were getting. “Let’s just go back to the hotel,” Sid said hastily.

“Geno,” Kris began slyly, following close behind Sid, “he’s avoiding us.”

“You two are insufferable,” muttered Sid, but he slowed and began walking in tandem with them. He could handle insufferable. 

They chatted casually as they walked back to the hotel, falling into the easy life they had lived with each other for over fifteen years now. Sid laid part of his weight against Kris and took Evgeni’s hand in his own. The sun was setting, the sky streaked with pinkish orange wisps of clouds. Sid could hear crickets in the grasses over the noise of cars and of the city. It was a warmer night, the air still crisp but hinting summer. 

Summer. Sid frowned. He couldn’t even remember the last time “summer” had been this long. He was used to the busy travel and training that came with the playoffs. Now… now what? What had he done that first year? It was too long ago to remember. He could travel, like usual. Maybe he’d make a trip to Denver. Don’t be stupid, Nate has things to do, Sid scolded himself. You can’t just put your problems on him or anyone else just to feel better. Sid stared at his feet, the comfort he’d felt by chirping back and forth with Kris and Geno quickly fading back into sad emptiness.

“Hey,” Kris said, worry in his voice as they stopped outside the hotel. “What’s up?”

Sid shrugged, eyes still fixed to the concrete as emotion threatened to choke his throat again. However, he didn’t fight it when Kris gently lifted his chin with his hand and forced Sid to look at him. Kris’ eyes were a beautiful brown color, not quite as dark as Geno’s— more chestnut hued. They shone with warmth and concern in a way that only made Sid want to break down more. He was falling apart at the seams, and Sid felt guilty for pushing it on Kris and Geno too.

Sid cleared his throat, hitching in a breath as he tried to control the waver in his voice, “It’s nothing. I’m just upset. Frustrated…” Sid trailed off and then added, “tired.”

Geno tilted his head Sid’s way, a small smile of knowing in his features.

“Then let’s get inside,” suggested Kris, “Do you want us with you tonight? I’m sure some of the other guys would be just fine taking our rooms for themselves.”

Sid brightened a little at that. They often did things like this for each other when one of them was down, and it’d just become a habit for them and for the surrounding team. One of them would have a shit night, and the other two would offer to give him comfort via card games, stories, TV shows, cuddles, and more. The other guys had gotten used to it, happy to receive a room for themselves. So Sid nodded instantly. “Yeah, that’d be good,” he sighed gratefully, “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Kris replied and gave the cap of Sid’s— albeit disgusting and old— hat a small kiss. Sid swatted at him, blushing slightly. Kris was romantic like that, even though they were just friends. Sid assumed it was his French blood that made him that way; like Flower had been, though Kris had even more sass than he. Sid remembered the two having glorified competitions over it; the two French-Canadians battling it out in flirty and gaudy ways, trying to upstage the other’s level of cheekiness.

They made their way tiredly into the hotel, and Sid clung to Geno, arms around the Russian’s waist. Some of the guys that were in the lobby sent them a curious look before immediately turning away, back to whatever they were distracting themselves with. Jake stood from where he was sitting at one of the chairs in the entrance and crossed to them, traces of defeat still in his ocean-blue eyes. Geno held up his and Kris’ room keys and Jake raised a single brow, but said nothing about Sid’s koala-like grip on Geno. 

He took the keys slowly, examining them in effort not to pay too much attention to the way Kris, Geno, and Sid were acting. “Who?” he asked softly, a blonde curl falling on his forehead as he looked down.

“Rusty and Archie,” replied Sid, his voice muffled by his face being practically planted directly in Geno’s shoulder blades.

Jake nodded with a small smile. They were the new dads, so the choice made sense. He put the keys into his pocket and peered around Geno at Sid. He smirked, thinking up a chirp that would get a reaction from Sid and tear his mind off the notion of no playoffs. “Clingy ass bitch.”

Sid instantly pulled away and stared at him, mount agape. Bastard, he thought as he felt his cheeks immediately redden with a deep flush. Guentz knew what he was doing. Sid yanked down his cap over his face a bit, trying to distract both himself and the others from his reaction to Jake's targeted comment. He bit his lip as he quickly turned his gaze away from Jake, embarrassed. “You dick,” he said halfheartedly.

“You’re welcome, captain,” cooed Jake. He put emphasis on the nickname, making his voice delicate and sweet as honey.

Sid flipped Jake off as he rolled his eyes, and the blonde only scrunched up his face in a loving sneer back. Sid started up the stairway with a shake of his head, grinning brightly at the sound of Guentz’s unmistakable laugh. Geno gave him a bump and a cheeky smile. “Blushing,” he remarked.

“Oh, shut up,” muttered Sid, turning away from his and Kris’ looks of admiration.

Those two were more aware than anyone of the fact that Sid was incredibly easy to rattle. That a simple chirp could undo him in moments, and that one compliment made him want to hang on the words and never let go. People often assumed that was bad or petty, but in reality Sid was just sensitive. Very sensitive. 

 The other  guys took advantage of it like Kris and Geno did too, of course. They were constantly toeing the line between jokes and actually hurting Sid’s feelings and having to make up for it in whatever way Sid chose. Sid loved it though. Being chirped after he did something stupid— or being complimented on his leadership— made him feel alive. It strengthened his relationships rather than hurting them. The guys knew that a quick quip was an easy way to make him smile, blush, or feel better when they could tell he wasn’t doing good. Though, Sid had a feeling words or actions alone could not fix the situation they were in now. This one was different, jarringly new in a way that Sid might just have to let it take its course before he truly felt okay again.

They had come up to Sid’s door before he knew it. Sid pulled out the room key, trying to keep a steady grip on it and he waved it over the lock. There was a beep as the light on the door turned green. Sid turned the handle sharply, the metal making a unanimous-to-all-hotels click. The cool breeze of air that came from his room was nice, refreshing, and Sid breathed it in deeply. He threw off his hat and Geno’s jacket, running a hand through his too-long and curly hair. 

Kris and Geno followed him in, took a seat, and then Sid started stretching out his arms and legs as per routine. His neck and shoulders made a satisfying pop after a moment of pressure on them and Sid started loosening his legs in a series of intricate moves that he’d perfected as his career had gone on and as he’d gotten older. He could feel Kris and Geno’s stares as he moved, but he ignored them. After a couple minutes— which was notably a bit longer than he’d usually stretch—, Sid seemed content with the way his thighs and calves now felt and he took a seat on the edge of one of the beds.

 The fabric was silky and cool on his fingers and the mattress swayed under his weight. He stared at the alarm clock on the bedside table, the silence causing disappointment to again worm its way into Sid’s expression. Any pride he’d felt over keeping Kris and Evgeni’s attention so fixated on him and him alone had fleeted. The “chirp affect” had worn off. Sid was pulled back to their frustrating reality again.

“Ohhhhh,” Geno started to pout, “is our Sid upset again?”

Kris gave him a saddened look and agreed— adding in extra pity to his voice as if to treat Sid like a wounded puppy, which in a way he was—, “I think he is, G.” Kris turned to Sid, his features illuminated with warm lamplight that made Sid feel safe and at home, and he finally asked the question Sid had been silently begging him to ask, “Cuddles?”

Sid nodded earnestly. Cuddles sounded nice. He’d give anything for that comfort.

“Words, Sid,” prodded Kris.

“Please, yes,” whined Sid, albeit slightly overdramatically in a way Kris would appreciate as funny and casual rather than actually petty. Though, Sid had to admit he was probably doing a little bit of both at the moment. He did want to whine, he just kept himself from actually doing it. He could have self-control… sometimes. 

Kris stood from where he’d been lounging in one of the armchairs and sat next to Sid on the bed, closest to the bedside table. He rested his hand on Sid’s thigh and began slowly tickling it as he laid his head on Sid’s shoulder. Geno followed suit, sitting on the other side of Sid before he threw his big arms around Sid and pulled him close. They sat there for several minutes, embraced with each other in the quiet, and trying not to fall into the well of sadness Sid knew they all were feeling. 

Fuck, this sucked. He didn’t remember it being this bad his first year, so potent and inescapable… but maybe that was just because he’d been young and hadn’t known what it was to win it. That feeling was like a drug, and Sid craved it even more now that they didn’t even have the chance to achieve it. But maybe he was just kidding himself; they hadn’t had a chance in the first place, not this year. None of the years earlier, either. Yet, the missed opportunity still stung, no matter how much Sid begged it to be reasoned with.

He wiped at his cheek, and was surprised to find it came away wet. How had he not noticed he’d been crying? Sid rubbed fiercely at his face, brushing the tears away angrily. God, he was a mess. He was a mess and he couldn’t be fixed. He couldn’t— He wasn’t— Sid fought for breath as anxiety seized him and the world was just him and his pain. To him, Kris and Geno were nothing more than white noise against the ringing in his ears. They were blurs of color through his tears as they finally got released after weeks of being pent up by foolish hope.

He hadn’t been good enough.

 This was his fault. All his fault. Just his fault… 

He’d wasted Geno and Kris’ seasons; hell, he was wasting their time right here and now. He shouldn’t need to be coddled and held, but here he was. For fuck’s sake he couldn’t even hold himself together in front of the two people he loved most. He was weak. Sid scoffed through his own ugly emotions. He was still that same “crybaby” kid he used to be. Sid registered the lie and took it as a fact out of something he might dare to call spite of himself. All these years, and Sid was no different. He wanted to laugh. Maybe somethings really don’t fucking change, eh? 

Sid put his head in his hands, feeling cold and meaningless. His stomach was still growling, but he couldn’t seem to care. There wasn’t a need for extra calories anymore, not with the season done. It was a stupid excuse to not eat, Sid knew, but if not caring wasn’t the reason, then lack of any energy at all was. 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been there, breaking down in front of Geno and Kris. It might have been just a few minutes, it could have been hours. Why bother counting? Sid no longer had the strength to laugh at his own thoughts as they screamed, Maybe when you look up, you’ll see they left. I wouldn’t blame them. You’re nothing but an embarrassing joke when you get like this. They shouldn’t have to put up with it. You could just be normal and take the loss and move on, but you’re sitting here like a child. Grow up. 

Kris’ voice snapped Sid from his dark spiral, keeping it from devolving any further. “Hey, hey, hey. Look at me,” Kris soothed, cursing once under his breath before continuing, “Shit. Come on, Sid. Come back to us. Just breathe. Just breathe.”

Sid drew in quick, sharp breaths, following what Kris commanded without thinking of it. Part of it was instinct, the other habit. You’ve been here before, we all have, Sid reminded himself as his mind finally slowed enough for him to collect a coherent thought. They’d never leave you.

“Yes, Sid.” 

G, Sid wanted to cry out at the familiar voice on his other side. 

“You okay. We are here. We know…” Geno’s voice faltered, surprisingly fragile, “We know how you feel.”

Recognizing Geno and Kris’ own hurts seemed to finally draw Sid out of his panic.

“Yes! That’s it,” Kris encouraged as he noticed Sid’s breathing slowly starting to steady at Kris’ instruction. There was only love in his words, nothing said out of fake pity.

 “Just keep taking deep breaths… there you go,” continued the Quebecian. “Good, Sid,” he praised with intense adoration as he gently laid down on the mattress and took Sid and Geno with him. 

Sid adjusted himself on the blankets, taking a comforting hold around Kris as Geno massaged his back. After several more minutes of hushed reassurances and moments of Sid almost passing out asleep, Sid finally felt the last tremor of panic leave and he was able to breathe again without sharp pains in his chest. He flexed his hands on the black cloth of Kris’ T-shirt, laying his face against his back absently. 

Sid pressed his forehead harder against Kris’ back as if to stifle the thoughts as they came. Sorrow was subsiding into guilt, anxiety into unneeded apologies. “I’m sorry,” murmured Sid out of the blue.

Kris turned on his side to face Sid, his brows furrowed with half concern and half tenderness. He took Sid’s face in his hand, brushing over stray and drying tears that still lingered. “Don’t be,” he whispered. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

Sid wasn’t buying it, “This is a stupid thing to be so upset over. I— you didn’t have to stay here with me. You shouldn’t have to help me.”

Geno spoke up before Kris could, “But we want to.”

Sid rolled over to look at Geno, who was propped up on his elbow and tilting his head curiously at him. His hair was messy, his eyes glinting with what might have been tears. Sid took Geno’s free hand, entwining their fingers together. One of Kris’ arms was over his side, a steady and reassuring weight. Sid closed his eyes, sleep becoming more and more of a need the longer he stayed on the comfortable-for-a-hotel bed. 

“Then thank you, both of you,” revised Sid.

“Of course,” Geno consoled. 

Before Kris could continue his speech to their relationship and Sid’s worth, the loud growl of Sid’s stomach stopped him. Kris’ face broke into a grin. “Have you seriously not eaten since before the game?” 

Sid shrugged sheepishly. “I was a bit busy brooding in the locker room. Food wasn’t really on my mind,” he admitted, trying to sound nonchalant about the fact that he also hadn’t felt like he deserved to eat.

Geno looked around, the three of them collectively feeling too comfortable to move. Sid wasn’t even sure his legs would work if he tried to stand and go get food from downstairs. They were fixed there, not wanting to pull away from each other’s warmth. “Room service?” the Russian suggested and it was received with earnest nods from Sid and Kris.

So Kris twisted himself to reach his phone on the bedside table and ordered them what they wanted. The food here was decent, at least. The Penguins organization always picked a good spot for them to stay at, and with the way Sid was about food in the regular season, he appreciated it. They always wound up at hotels that had exactly what they needed, and with staff that were welcome to accommodate Sid’s strict schedule and heavy superstitions.

After about fifteen minutes of stories and talk to ease their troubled minds, the food arrived at their door. Geno quickly fetched it, and Kris stood and moved to the table in the room. Sid laid against the pillows, still not wanting to get up, but feeling empty without Geno and Kris next to him at the same time. Kris motioned for Sid to join them, and prodded, “Come on, Sid. We’ll eat and go back, don’t you worry. We aren’t done.”

Sid rolled his eyes at how much Kris sounded like he was babying him, but he had to admit the promise helped get him to stand and eat. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, rubbing a hand across his face and pushing back stray curls. The scent of his food was mouthwatering and an IV water sat untouched next to it. Sid smiled. Those things worked wonders; he was glad the Penguins had brought some along. 

Sid ate slowly, some of his meal still left by the time the growl in his stomach and the shaky feeling in his limbs had faded. What he’d had was good enough for now. He was too tired to keep eating anyway. 

Sid folded up the box of food that was leftover and went and put it in the fridge for if he wanted it later, and because if he didn’t finish it he knew Geno probably would. On his way back, he picked up his liquid IV, drank the dregs of it, and swiftly deposited the plastic cup in the trash. He was well aware of Kris and Geno watching his every move, careful and deliberate. Sid turned from them, unable to keep from grinning like an idiot as he popped his back before finally getting ready to have some well needed rest. “You know I’m not going anywhere,” he called from the bathroom as he snatched up his toothbrush.

“Well, can you blame us? There was that first time—” Kris began.

Sid cut him off, correcting Kris before he even had the chance to keep twisting a story from ages ago, “We were barely friends back then, Tanger. Don’t start on me again.”

“Oh, whatever,” Kris said in a way that was obvious that he was trying to brush off the subject. He could hear Geno laughing along from the other side of the wall and Sid could perfectly envision his mannerisms despite him not being visible. This was a tale as old as time for them; witty banter and comforting talks. They’d balanced out the two within the first year or two of their friendship, and everything had been near-perfect since. Their bond had quickly become unbreakable.

Sid finished getting ready, idly listening to Geno and Kris’ conversation. He hummed under his breath to inaudible music, the familiar beat playing on loop in his head. I like it like that she workin’ that thang— Sid stopped abruptly as he came back into the main part of the room where the beds were. Kris and Geno had been whispering between each other, and were now watching him with a kind of disposition that Sid couldn’t quite place. 

“What?” he asked plainly.

Geno shrugged, barely able to come up with the answer he wanted, “Nothing. Just, you…”

Sid raised a brow, prompting Geno further.

“You’re you,” said Geno, and his voice had a mysterious air of want to it so strong that Sid forced his mind to shelve for another day.

Sid nodded a little, breathing out a laugh, “Yeah.”

He ignored the hidden possibilities behind Geno’s words and took a long drink from his water bottle, the ice making it cold and fresh. Kris had gotten out cards and was dealing Geno a stack, and when he finished he looked back at Sid. “You playing?”

Sid eyed the clock on the bedside table— 11:26 it read— and contemplated for a few moments. He figured they were playing something simple, but his mind was too fatigued to function right now, so he shook his head. He knew he wouldn’t fall asleep until Kris and Geno were beside him, but he could at least read or do something that would ease his thoughts. Maybe he’d write a little, it’d been a while since he had done that. That’d be good.

Sid yawned, pulling his phone out of his pocket and throwing it haphazardly next to a pillow. He slipped off his shirt, feeling his cheeks pink slightly as Kris whistled his way, and put it, unfolded, back into his open suitcase. He kept on his tight, black shorts and climbed into bed, settling quickly and comfortably into the mass of pillows and thin blankets. He sat up against the headboard, legs out of the wrinkled mass of fabric with feet crossed at the ankles.

Sid reached for his book and flipped to his bookmarked page, brows furrowed in concentration, a pen in his hand and close to his mouth as he bit it subconsciously. The page was talking about something sporty, phycological, but Sid began to realize that— despite reading the same sentence over and over again— he was too busy listening to the quiet chatter of his favorite teammates. They were throwing small jabs at each other as they played, rejoicing or scoffing depending on if something good or bad happened. Their laughing and the sounds of their voices was as much of a brain worm as the song Sid still had stuck in his head.

Sid clicked his pen, trying and failing to write an annotation on the book. Instead, he ended up doodling lazily on the corner of the page, biting his lip lightly as he sketched. Sid blinked out of his astray focus. He looked up, gaze darting to Kris and Geno and back to the page at hand. “You could be having  a perfect night and one mistake…” quoted Sid under his breath, hoping that if he spoke the sentence aloud it’d finally click in his head.

Sid drew the open book to his face, the soft paper pressed to his features as he closed his eyes. Whatever, Sid concluded, I give up. So, he snapped the book shut and set it back on the table next to him. He clicked his pen shut and grabbed his phone from next to him, opening it up to The Athletic. He moved back the heavy comforter and wiggled under the sheets, sinking further into tiredness with the warmth the bed provided. He scrolled through articles, trying his best to avoid the headlines about him and the Penguins. Yet, he still found himself reading about it.

Sid laughed to himself about the absurdity of each word. They only confirmed Sid’s own thoughts, though maybe they rang truer than he wanted. He wasn’t sure exactly why of all places he’d go, he would read articles about their failure, but maybe it was because some foolish part of him was wishing for a scrap of understanding. He knew better. The media wasn’t like that, not magazines and certainly not a site like Twitter. That was exactly why he didn’t have social media. So why was this different? It wasn’t. 

Sid clicked off his phone in frustration. He laid on his back and pressed his hands against his temples, applying steady pressure in an attempt to help the ache in his head. Sid put his phone on the table, on top of his book, and stretched out to turn off the light by his head. Now, the only light remaining was at the table where Kris and Geno were playing. Sid turned on his side so that they were at least in his line of sight. He didn’t usually like facing any kind of light as he slept, but he much preferred this rather than not seeing Kris and Geno at all.

Sleep quickly took its hold of Sid, but it was a light enough kind that he knew the exact moment when Kris and Geno were done and when they finally joined him. “You done?” he’d asked, still halfway asleep.

Kris had tapped his bicep gently as he settled in. “Yes,” he replied, “now get some sleep.”

And Sid had. Almost instantly after Kris and Geno had laid beside him, Sid was out like a light. Luckily enough, he slept heavily. He was unplagued by the nightmares that he worried he might have about his failures throughout the season; or rather, by dreams about the milestones he’d hit while continuing to lose. 

When he next woke, it was light and Sid was alone. He sat up slowly, muscles still sore and arm asleep. The clock read 8:56 AM. A jolt of panic shot through Sid’s chest. Where were Kris and Geno? Had they left already? No… they wouldn’t do that, Sid thought. He got up to check anyway, heart rate rising.

He rounded the corner into the small hotel room kitchen and breathed out a sigh. Kris and Geno were there at the counter, making food and talking in hushed voices. They turned at the sound of Sid's footsteps and Geno gave him a warm grin, Kris nodded towards him as he chewed a piece of toast. Sid hung his head for a moment, suddenly remembering that he hadn’t even bothered to throw on a shirt. Whatever. His cheeks flushed with self-consciousness anyway. Geno watched him, his brows furrowing slightly. “You okay?” he questioned. 

“Oh,” Sid started, blinking sleepily, “yeah. It’s just you guys let me sleep quite a while. I didn’t mean to do that, I mean. Did you shut off my alarm or something?”

Kris smiled smugly. “You were too distracted by me to even notice.”

Sid rolled his eyes, scratching his head and attempting to brush back his mussed curls. He cracked his neck, stretching it this way and that to work out the tenseness in his shoulders. “How’d you even get my password?” he asked blearily through a yawn.

“Don’t question it,” replied Kris blankly, waving Sid off.

Sid laughed and stepped fully into the kitchen, starting to search for something in the fridge to eat. “That’s reassuring,” he huffed and took out an orange, throwing it in the air and swiftly catching it again a few times.

He set the fruit on the counter and snapped his fingers in thought. Kris slid him a plate with toast on it and gave him a smile. Sid didn’t fail to notice the way his gaze lingered on Sid’s body, glued to him in adoring fascination. He was well aware of how he was talked about and looked at, doted on. He was called a stallion often, and as he got older more and more people started praising his ability to stay the way he did. He didn’t crumble, wear away; he got sharper. It was something Sid just… did. 

Sid didn’t want to look into how Kris and Geno’s stares managed to feel differently than the ones of teammates just wanting to joke around about his “God-given” quads or his blessed Canadian smile. He didn’t want to dive into how they seemed so much more genuine and soft than that of some starry-eyed player at the All-Star weekend. And that was because Kris and Geno actually, truly cared and loved him in such an intense way just like how Sid was with them. Because, through everything, they’d never seen him as lower or higher than them. They just saw Sid as what he was: human. It terrified him.

Sid grabbed his protein powder off the counter where he’d set it, his mind going astray as he set about making his drink. He wasn’t sure if it was new sadness or anger at remembering what had happened that he was feeling, but it tugged his mouth into a frown anyway. He stirred in the powder aggressively, and took a bite of lukewarm toast. He’d thought sleep would help. Apparently not.

Geno passed by him, giving his back a reassuring rub as he went to the table. Sid twisted the lid to the protein powder shut and slid it to the back on the counter and brought his food to the table, sitting practically leg-to-leg with Evgeni even though there was plenty of room to spread out. Sid took a drink of his protein  shake and headbutted Geno gently, the morning having not quite ebbed his tiredness away. Kris sat down in front of him, a single earbud in— probably listening to a French audio book, which he often did in his spare time. The Quebecian leaned over the table to push Sid around half-heartedly just to make him laugh, which Sid did. Kris brightened at the sound, his eyes wrinkled with appreciation and his hair perfect as always; stark in comparison to Sid’s still messy and untamed bedhead.

Sid set down his orange, which he was about to peel, and stood. “I’m gonna throw on a shirt, one sec’,” he announced, remembering to do so because of the slight chill in the room.

Sid quickly walked to his suitcase, tucked slightly under his bed, and snatched up a random grey tee. He made his way half-blindly to the kitchen, moving while pulling on the shirt. He ran a hand through his hair after getting it on and sat back in his seat. Kris watched him with a curious look, laughing under his breath at every little routine thing Sid did. Geno was too busy staring out the window as he ate to notice it much.

They ate in comfortable silence, content with not talking as Sid was sure that the topic of their loss would wind up being mentioned if they did. Kris was nodding occasionally along to his book, Geno couldn’t stop watching cars in the street below pass by, and Sid was so intently focused on his food he thought his hunger might just disappear by proxy. Fed up with the quiet after several minutes, Sid finally asked a question he knew the answer to, “What time do we leave?”

“Plane takes off at three, guys are out of hotel by eleven,” Geno replied, his gaze being slowly averted from the window.

Sid nodded, trying to come up with something, anything to talk about. “Where do you think you guys will go? Just home?”

Kris shrugged. “Don’t know. I might travel with Catherine and the kids; Alex has been wanting to go back to France, so we’ll probably make a trip around Europe. We’ll see how it plays out.”

“Same for me, travel. Get out of city,” mused Geno. “You taking trip to Scotland?”

Sid paused. He hadn’t thought about that. The Penguins had gifted him a trip there after he’d scored his five-hundredth goal. “I… I don’t know. I’d like to go up West, maybe later this summer I’ll see if Nate’s willing to stay around Denver. He says there’s some nice spots there. Other than that, I haven’t thought much past Nova Scotia and training again.”

“You should go,” Kris noted as he stole a slice of Sid’s orange and had eaten it before he could say anything. “I think you’d like it there. It’s very green, cool. Rainy. The kinda stormy weather you love during warm summers. You could journal, too. I know you like that.”

“Yeah. I guess. I don’t know when I’ll have time, is all,” Sid said, feeling like he was choking under the thought of doing anything but sulking around and training till he broke.

Kris rose an unamused brow and folded his arms after tapping his Airpod once to pause his book. He took a drink of water and countered, “It will be good for you, Sid. You can’t just prepare for next season, you’ll get hurt. You need to rest and relax. Don’t think that because we lost you should be punished for it. It’s not your fault.”

Sid looked away at the kitchen, pouting stubbornly. Kris saw right through him. He always had. He was right, too, but that’s what hurt most. As much as Sid wanted to work out and diet, he knew he couldn’t. Even his body couldn’t handle that, especially not with him getting older. There was no option but to take a breather and travel somewhere far from hockey’s chaos. Maybe Denver wasn’t the best idea after all. And Scotland did sound nice…

“Fine,” concluded Sid. “I’ll go. But I’m going to annoy you all with pictures and taunt you with essays about the food there. You’ll wish you could be there.”

“Oh no, what will we do?” Kris sighed dramatically. “Pictures? Of you, of pretty nature? That might just be too much torture to handle,” he emphasized with a false swoon.

Sid threw his head back in laughter, hitting the table with his hand lightly. He wiped away tears of joy from his eyes. “Who knows, maybe I’ll even wear a kilt,” he joked.

Geno snorted, “You would.”

“I’m not against it,” pointed out Kris.

“You two,” Sid said as he stood with his plate and threw it in the trash. He checked the time again. “We should pack up,” he announced.

“We don’t have to be three hours early, Sid. Just hang out for a bit,” Kris countered.

Sid shook his head, they could at least be ready. “I’ll hang out when I’m packed.”

“Yes, exactly. When you’re packed,” Geno noted, relaxing back in his chair to show he wasn’t moving anywhere. 

Sid rolled his eyes, but he was used to this. Every year he tried to get them to indulge his wild habits and strict routine, but they remained just as stubborn as he. In the end, Sid supposed he didn’t mind. They’d come around eventually. That’s what he told himself, at least.

Sid exited the room without another word and began to pack his things. He folded everything neatly, fit each shirt and sock in to perfection. He’d always been organized like this. It caught guys off guard. Most of them just threw things in or barely packed at all. Sid, however, was always prepared no matter what. He had extra food, water, necessities, and more on hand. Given, it may have caused him more back pain than necessary on hiking trips with Nate and the others, but Sid didn’t care. After all, who didn’t need five bottles of water and a meal for a fifteen minute stroll up the mountain?

Sid quickly zipped the opening shut, smiling faintly at some far off thought. At least the summer offered time for him to spend with the guys that weren’t on his team. It was why he loved training camp. Friends from across the league got to simply enjoy the sport and work out together rather than against one another. 

Who knows, maybe he’d watch Worlds in-person this year. Come to think of it, it was in Finland and Latvia this year… he could schedule his Scotland trip then. Sid stood from his crouch, it pulling his legs comfortably taut, and nodded to himself. He spoke into the kitchen, “I think I figured out when I’ll go to Scotland.”

“Yeah?” Geno called.

“When?” Kris added.

Sid grinned brightly at the thought. A bunch of the Pens were going this year, he could go and support them— especially P.O. It’d be a cool opportunity as he’d never seen Worlds live off-ice before. He would just have to be careful and make sure he wasn’t too recognizable. “I think I want to attend Worlds this year. I could go after,” Sid replied.

Kris strode into the room. “Been a bit. Sounds fun, though. I think it’d be good for you.”

“Me too,” agreed Sid with a small shrug as he took a seat on the bed.

Kris pulled out his phone, scrolling through it casually. Geno came in from the kitchen and sat on the bed opposite to Sid, putting his hands behind his head and closing his eyes. They fell into quiet again, unburdened and calming quiet. At some point, Geno started watching something— Friends, Sid noted— and eventually they had all ended up lounging along the beds, laughing and chatting even over the words of the show.

Time passed quickly, and before Sid knew it, his alarm was going off. It was eleven, they should go. They had gathered everything within a few minutes, most of it being due to Geno being, well, himself and forgetting several things along the way. Sid hesitated on the door handle, turning to them before finally closing the hotel room shut.

“Okay, do we actually have everything now?” Sid asked with a skeptical look Geno’s way.

The tall Russian shrugged. “Eh. I forget, it not that important anyway,” he announced, making Sid snort out a laugh. That man was absurd. It was adorable.

“Alright,” Sid said through a wide grin and he closed the door. “Let’s go.”

The day went by fast after that. Everything went smoothly as usual, and, as if within the blink of an eye, Sid was boarding the plane home. He picked his spot, sitting next to Geno and across the way from Kris, who had already started playing cards with Dumo and P.O. Sid laid his head back against the seat, staring out the window as the plane’s engines roared over the sound of classical music in his ears. Geno slid a sleep mask over his eyes, propping up his feet on the vacant seat next to Sid and pushing his own back a bit. 

Sid loved the plane rides back home. The ability to just stare out a window at the sky so high up was something unparalleled for him. There wasn’t really an experience that could match the feeling. There was something special about being able to observe everything below from such a different angle, to be within the clouds and see the horizon. He’d always enjoyed it.

Sid only half-listened to his music. He was more focused on the other’s conversations, laughing along as they joked and jabbed at each other. They followed the setting sun, the sky going from bright blue to pinkish orange as they neared Pittsburgh and the time changed. Sid laid his head against the edge of the window, feeling a sweet tiredness seep into his bones, stark in comparison to the exhausted pain he’d felt yesterday.

Geno had since woken up and moved to go play a round with the guys, so Sid sat the reminder of the flight alone, writing ideas down and doodling idly in his notebook. He brainstormed his trip, sketched the clouds outside, drifted off in thought to his music. The season of stress, athletics, and relentless rehab to keep his body working was finally over. Sid was moving on and looking forward. 

The Pittsburgh cityline was coming up, its lights gleaming and the golden bridge glowing. It was beautiful. This city was his home as much as Nova Scotia was. He knew every corner, every under the radar diner that didn’t care who he was, just that they had his company. The plane was getting lower, the airport outside the city bright with signs for the pilots.

Sid closed his notebook and put it back in his bag. Geno looked up from his cards at him with a smile, as if to welcome him back to reality. Kris nudged him, prodding him to take his turn so that they might finish their round before they had to stop. Sid laughed to himself at them, his heart warm with affection. The plane finished its descent and the cabin jolted. 

Sid sighed. They were home.

Kris was right. They would be okay.