#sorry for the long post OOPS
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Famous last words
#haven’t posted in ages oops sorry#mcr#mcr fanart#gerard way#art#artists on tumblr#the black parade#long live the black parade#tbp
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It’s Marvin’s Bar Mitzvah!
Little extra Marvin In Trousers :)
#Can you tell I’ve been fumbling with my art style lately…….#I keep changing it everytime I draw BUT THAT IS OKAY#at least I’m drawing!!!!!!! :)#also I have been gone for so long sorry guys :(#I HAVE been doing art#but unfortunately it was for something that has literally zero fandom#so I didn’t really feel like posting that oops#I might soon though#Could be fun? :)#OKAY THATS IT WOO!#in trousers#falsettos#marvin falsettos#marvin in trousers#MILO ART#in trousers fanart
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Hello! I just saw your latest post and you might have been referring to my ask if it was the one about Ratiorine's differing philosophies or of what philosophies they abide by (existentialism, absurdism, etc) then that's me! If you weren't referring to that I apologize for the confusion. Sending it off anon this time so maybe it doesn't disappear 🥲
Sorry for the ask disappearing the first time; I'm not sure what happened, and I was so sad because I had been carefully holding on to it to answer it! I'm glad you were able to resend.
I do have to say first that philosophy is not my area of expertise, so there may be much more qualified philosophy buffs out there who can answer this more accurately than me, but I'll give it a go with my personal understandings of the characters:
First, Ratio is the easier of the two I think. As many people have said, he's a good fit for existentialism. His entire shtick is basically believing in the power of the individual to improve and enrich their own life, to fight valiantly regardless of the hardships imposed by their life's circumstances, and to make themself into a better person by their own choices.
It's important to underscore that this means Ratio believes in self-determination, in the idea that people's lives are not foreordained but are actually actively shaped each day by personal decisions. Therefore, people have inherent freedom to decide the course of their own lives by accepting what they approve of, refusing to accept what they disapprove of, and harnessing their own individual power to ultimately achieve self-actualization.
Essentially, Ratio works under the impression that life is not guided by something as intangible as destiny, and no matter where you start off in life, what ultimately happens to you is within your control (or at least within the control of whoever controls you). This is likely a small part of why it grates on him so badly that he wasn't recognized by Nous, because the fact that one can dedicate everything to a goal and still not achieve that goal runs contrary to his central philosophy.
If he believes that people have the power to determine the course of their own lives, then what does it say about him, who fought so hard to do exactly as he claims even idiots can do--seize control his own fate--and yet didn't succeed? Are there some things outside of man's power? It's enough to make even a renowned doctor question himself, and Ratio decided to come out on the side of "It's a personal failing, not a flaw in my philosophy." He literally said "Skill issue" to himself.
Changing tack a tiny bit here, I think it's also important to emphasize that there is a difference between existentialism and nihilism even though these philosophies dovetail. Again, I'm not an expert in philosophy, so my understanding is very limited, but the basic idea of existentialism is that "existence comes before essence"--that is, things start as a blank slate and gain nature and meaning after the fact. We are not created by some grand design, nor is there any inherent "purpose for living." Things just exist because they exist.
This is where existentialism intersects with nihilism, at the starting point that existence is inherently meaningless. But, in my personal opinion, nihilism as a philosophy fails to move beyond that. Pure nihilism is ultimately self-defeating because it leaves us with no motivation to commit to growth. It's a philosophy antithetical to the continuation of life as we know it. Existence is meaningless and any meaning you personally derive from existence is also meaningless, so why bother attempting to derive any meaning at all? This complete apathy is the Device IX that Star Rail paints as so dangerous.
And Ratio is not this way at all. His philosophy absolutely reaffirms that life can have meaning, so long as people create that meaning for themselves. He simultaneously asserts that anything that people create is not meaningless ...which basically means that meaning itself cannot be meaningless. (If that makes any sense to anyone.)
Frankly, I would argue that this philosophy may be a core part of why Ratio has not been recognized by Nous so far, rather than simply his "being a good person." (Nous is a robotic AI super-computer, why would THEY care about the presence or lack of human empathy?) Ultimately, Ratio's central philosophy about people being capable of determining their own fates and purposes also applies to his understanding of knowledge--knowledge is not something which is inherent in certain beings from birth or limited to the purview of the "special" (geniuses), but is attainable by all people. People are not "born talented" or "born untalented," they are simply "educated" or "uneducated," with the only barrier between these categories being one's own personal willingness to change. The mundane can become the divine--if they work hard enough at it.
Thus, knowledge is not wealth to be hoarded, but a currency to be spent to enrich other members of humanity.
(By the way, completely random aside--it also surprises me that everyone relates Ratio to Alhaitham from Genshin when they literally have such a glaring fundamental discrepancy in their understanding of the concept of wisdom... But anyway, back on topic!)
Ratio may (sort of) respect the members of the Genius Society, may recognize their incredible knowledge and abilities, but at the heart of the matter lies a single all-important question: Does Ratio even really believe in "genius" as a distinction (other than as a concept to insult himself)? Does he truly believe there is barrier between brilliance and idiocy that "ordinary people" can never cross?
He speaks convincingly about geniuses being different from "the ordinary," but if his core belief is that people have the power to pull themselves up out of despair and achieve greatness through effort and self-development, rather than some form of luck or god-given talent at birth, then... do born "geniuses" even really exist? Is there really an insurmountable difference between brilliant and mundane?
If knowledge is the equalizer of all sentient beings, do we not all have at least the initial capacity to become geniuses?
I personally think this central distinction about the capacity for knowledge among all humanity is the actual deciding factor in Ratio's rejection from the Genius Society, because, at the end of the day... how do you become a member of the "Genius Society" when you fundamentally reject the distinction of "genius" as an exclusive category from the start?
Ratio wants to share knowledge and uplift everyone (even if he thinks most people are starting off at the rock bottom known as idiocy).
His mission is diametrically opposed to the concept of a "Genius Society" in the first place.
He wanted in to the cool kids club because he desperately craves validation and acceptance, but the philosophical values of the Genius Society are ultimately incompatible with his own. In short, he would have to cease to be "Veritas Ratio" to succeed in joining the geniuses.
Okay, okay, back to the original point again, and just one more note about Ratio: Even though existentialism also goes hand-in-hand with absurdism, I don't think Ratio is far enough down the philosophical rabbit hole to believe in the wider definition of absurdism. Although I think he does agree with the inherent meaninglessness of existence, I don't think he views existence itself as truly irrational and the universe as as manifestation of unknowable chaos. I think he'd at least like to imagine that there are some ontological principles and inherent laws governing the operations of reality, and I think he does believe that certain things can be predicted with the application of enough thought... He certainly seems to believe in some form of "objective truth," at the very least.
I think he'd at least like to believe the universe is semi-orderly, even if he might deep down admit this is also wishful thinking.
So, to me he reads as a strong metaphor for pure existentialism, with deliberate rejections to both nihilism's apathy and absurdism's lean toward solely subjective reality.
PHEW, this is already long and I still have a whole other character to talk about... I had more to say about this topic than I thought. Sorry for the long read!
Anyway... Aventurine.
I've seen all sorts of things thrown around for Aventurine's philosophy, and while I think he does inherit a bit of Acheron's absurdism by the end of 2.1, I actually don't think Aventurine is an absurdist, an existentialist, or a nihilist.
I think Aventurine is a struggling fatalist.
He doesn't like it. We see him actively question it, but ultimately, he does come back to the concept of destiny over and over.
First, I think it's important to draw a clear distinction between Ratio and Aventurine: Ratio's existentialism is a philosophy that technically works even in a theological vacuum. Nous doesn't have to exist for Ratio's philosophy to function. Ratio's belief in the self-determination of humanity is, in fact, somewhat opposed to belief in aeons in the first place, and only works because technically the aeons of Star Rail used to be human (or were originally human creations). It's essentially an atheist viewpoint.
But Aventurine is a religious character. Like, he's just... religious. That's a fact about him. Even though we do hear his doubts, at the end of the day, he actually believes in Gaiathra, and believing in a omniscient supernatural being that is not human in origin (is from outside the aeon system) comes with a whole set of philosophical foundations that most aeon-worshipping characters just don't have in Star Rail. (Sunday is the obvious exception here, by the way.)
Kakavasha's like the one practicing pagan in the middle of an atheist convention. Awkward.
Being more serious: Religion requires faith. Faith requires the ability to believe in things you cannot verify with empirical facts. To believe in things you can only feel, never see. The belief that a goddess is watching over you, blessing you, and guiding you requires you to also accept the idea that events in your life are not always in your own control--that some of what occurs to you is decided by powers beyond your comprehension.
In essence, faith requires belief in fate. And that leads to fatalism.
No matter how much he doesn't like it, no matter how much we see him struggle with it, Aventurine does actually seem to believe in the concept of fate. He believes that some events in life are destined to occur, that some things are outside of individuals' control, and that ultimately not everything can be changed.
This is the dead opposite of Ratio's mindset: No matter how hard we fight, how far we push ourselves... in the end, sometimes people fail. Sometimes the only answer to our endless struggles is that we die, as we were destined to, before ever achieving the greatness we sought or the futures we were promised.
As an aside, I don't think faith or religion are necessarily the only factors connecting Aventurine to this particular philosophy either. Even removing theological aspects from the conversation, his extreme focus on the gambling aesthetic suggests a strong connection to fatalism too--if not a goddess, then one's fate may as well be in the hands of luck itself, of the whims of the rolling dice--or the push and pull of "powers that be," those figures of authority in the room where it happens, who make their shady deals according to preset rules and expectations, every bet resulting in an ultimately predictable outcome.
(He keeps gambling and gambling, hoping that he'll get a different result than the one he knows is inevitable...)
This is, of course, an inherently pessimistic mindset, a perfect dark-mirror to Ratio's deep-down optimism. Fatalism puts humanity into a position of powerlessness. All hopes and dreams are given over to the goddess, by whose judgment and whims the actual events of one's life are decided. Pain and poverty are inevitable trials. Suffering and death are foreordained.
And yet Aventurine has to cling to this, as much as he doubts it, as much as he hates the idea that things in his life are beyond his power to control.
Because if fate doesn't exist... If it wasn't destiny, if the tragedies of his life weren't trials from the goddess, if things weren't supposed to go this way... Then every single thing in his life really is meaningless. Everything he suffered, everyone he loved and loss, his mother's and sister's sacrifices, the torment he went through--just sheer bad luck. All of it, completely and utterly meaningless.
How can you convince yourself to keep living, in the face of such supreme and all-encompassing Nihility?
This is the central struggle of Aventurine's character, the actual mental and emotional journey we see him undertaking from 2.0 to 2.1. He is literally on the precipice, swinging between a viewpoint that he hates--his fatalistic belief in destiny--and an entirely self-defeating philosophy--nihilism--whose only possible final outcome is suicide.
This is what his talk with Acheron at the end of 2.1 is all about. This is how she saves him. In that final cutscene, we witness Aventurine reach a mental compromise, managing to finally reconcile his necessary faith in the concept of destiny with the reality that life may truly begin meaningless--but beginning meaningless does not mean staying meaningless, and believing in destiny does not bar you from making your own choices or finding your own purpose in life.
Later on in Penacony's story, we literally see Acheron use Ratio's philosophy to reject the same nihility that crept into Aventurine's:
Acheron wards off nihility's apathy through an absurdism all her own, but one which manages to enclose both Ratio's and Aventurine's otherwise incompatible mindsets: We have no way of ever knowing for certain whether the events of our lives are fated or mere nonsense. We have no way of knowing if our choices are our own or foreordained. But we don't need to know this to find meaning and value in them. Whether life is nothing more than unpredictable chaos or a predetermined pattern of cause and effect, what matters is what you make of it.
Ultimately, I think that this post has really helped me recognize just how well Aventurine and Ratio work as philosophical foils.
They really are perfect opposites.
Aventurine's fatalism is deterministic, while Ratio's existentialism is self-deterministic. Aventurine's philosophy is inherently pessimistic; Ratio's is inherently optimistic. Ratio's philosophy operates on a core belief in the freedom of humanity to decide their own paths in life, while Aventurine hates but does ultimately believe that people aren't really in control, that even if no gods are guiding us, we can't rise above our own natures. Ratio's philosophy makes meaning from growth; Aventurine's makes meaning from loss...
And they both struggle with fundamental doubts in their own philosophies, core questions that are directly tied to their own lives. Aventurine worries that his faith might be misplaced, that destiny might not exist, and that everything he suffered might have been in pointless, empty vain. Ratio faces the crisis of recognizing that his core belief in the power of humankind to determine their own paths and make their own meaning might not actually apply to everyone--because it doesn't seem to apply to himself.
It's literally only by bridging this philosophical binary with Acheron's anti-Nihility absurdist rhetoric that we can reach some sort of healthy outcome. That's why it takes both Ratio's note and Acheron's comments to finally lead Aventurine to acceptance. Ratio probably needs a little bit of Aventurine's "If you didn't make it into the Genius Society, there's got to be a reason" mindset to finally reach some peace with his situation too.
I'm not even a philosophy expert and even I can see that there's really only one takeaway here: These two characters were totally written with each other in mind.
Aventurine and Ratio need each other on core metaphysical levels! 😂
It's so good guys. You can't see it, but I'm making chef's kisses, I promise.
#honkai star rail#aventurine#dr. ratio#ratiorine#aventio#well the implication is there at least#character analysis#honkai star rail meta#philosophy#long post is long#this took so long oops I'm posting at 2am#entirely unrelated but innenofutari#you are very based for having a Princess Tutu quote in your bio#that's the most important thing I could tag this post with#actually#also if my philosophy understanding is all wrong I'm sorry#not gonna lie I dated a philosophy major in college soooo#that should tell you everything you need to know about my feelings toward philosophy
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lil family get together at the park for the kids!! chu hua got to see her nephew joshua now that he's aged up and also cuss out some paps
#ts4#s#*soju save#*chu hua gen#long ahh post SORRY i love them#also. she looks so fine in her soccer mom fit oops
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I don't care how wishfulfilment-y and ooc it is but I like to think that after C! Wilbur moved to Utah, he kind of healed a bit and reflected on a lot of his actions and he's in some community service job because he feels like he's making amends for what he's done by doing it (and also he likes feeling important and like he's helping people). And maybe he's taken up a writing hobby, and he has a book in the works and he keeps rewriting his drafts but he is genuinely having fun for what feels like the first time in a long time. He still occasionally goes back to his old bad habits but he's in a better place now and he's made some new friends and connections. He still tries to keep contact with some of the people he knew though.
He's trying to give Tommy some space but also trying to keep in touch and he's been semi successful with it. He's given Fundy complete space and tries to respect his decision that he doesn't want him in his life anymore but he does try to leave the door open for if Fundy ever changes his mind even if he doesn't count on it. He's sent Tubbo a letter but hasn't gotten a response and doesn't think he will. He's tried getting closer to Niki and it hasn't exactly worked out but they're still in contact and send eachother letters at least once every 5 months (the letters take a while though because they both live far away). He did see her when he visited Philza once though. And even if they're not as close as they used to be, he's glad they're able to keep in touch after everything.
Him and Quackity surprisingly exchange letters quite oftenly. It started out with Wilbur sending him one to properly apologise since he never got the chance to and it had been on his mind and to his surprise, Quackity actually replied (with a snarky response but a response nonetheless). And then it kind of became a pattern for them to send eachother letters quite regularly since Utah and Las Nevadas aren't that far apart so it travels faster. Their letters range from playful stupid banter to insights about eachothers weeks to snarky remarks laced with genuine advice to occasional glimpses of sincerity and care. Despite everything they're actually on pretty decent terms and Quackity's actually visiting him in a week. Wilbur's quite excited and giddy about it even if he won't admit it
Overall he's in a better place now even if there's a still lot of things to work on and even if what he's done still haunts him some days, he's coming to terms with it. He hasn't healed completely nor is he really truly happy but he's getting there and maybe it will be okay
#sorry i haven't written about these characters in a year oops. anyways this was nice to write#c! wilbur soot#cwilbur soot#dsmp#dream smp#Quackity#fundy#niki nihachu#<- those are the main ones i talked about any way#ALSO YEAH NO THIS IS A QUACKBUR BLOG#c! quackbur#quackbur#tntduo#tnt duo#QUACKITY ARRIVES AND THEY GO ON DATES AND THEYRE VUTE AND THEY KISS MWAH MWAH#okay sorrh#someone feel free to write that quackbur long distance post dsmp pen pal fic#i say a thing#tntblr#c! wilbur#c! tntduo
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unable to get behind the idea that fizz "forgave blitz too quickly" or that it was a writing flaw how easily he accepted blitz's version of the story or whatever like. no!!! it makes sense!!!
blitz was his best friend!! of COURSE he wouldn't want to believe that blitz tried to hurt him so badly!! blitz tells him what happened and fizz IMMEDIATELY softens in the way he's looking at him. he doesn't even look mad or like he thinks he's being lied to, like -
LOOK AT HIS FACE HE WANTED TO FORGIVE BLITZ SO BADLY. HE NEVER WANTED TO BELIEVE THAT BLITZ DID THIS TO HIM ON PURPOSE.
even all his little microexpressions in this one scene say SO MUCH
fizz probably spent SO LONG trying to rationalize or explain what happened to him, he probably spent AGES hoping so badly that there was an explanation that DIDN'T involve his best friend hating him so much he tried to kill him as painfully as possible
and to say it feels contrived; i just. fizz CARES!! the same way blitz has always CARED!! they never wanted to stop being in each other's lives - they both suffered a major trauma and were made to believe that the other one hated them, but they were BEST friends and always had been. how could either of them ever not jump at the chance that it was a mistake? how could fizz not cling to the possibility that his best friend might be able to still be his best friend?
#IM SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT IM NEVER EVER GOING TO BE DONE CRYING ABOUT THEM#THEY JUST. THEY MAKE ME SO SO SAD. AGONIES AND SORROWS#there is something so desperate and emotional and raw about this dynamic and it makes me fucking wild#mine#blitz#fizzarolli#fizzablitz#helluva boss oops#fizzarolli helluva boss#blitz helluva boss#helluva boss#e: oops#long post#banging my head against a wall until i die
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Trick or treat :D
you get...
a petrified Paranoid!!
#oops sorry it took so long! was attending Undas yesterday so I wasnt able to answer all the trick-or-treaters in one go#gimmie a minute. its been a while since ive drawn my STP Voices designs#HAII Polite Moot!! :D#ask#trick or treat#halloween#slay the princess#voice of the paranoid#graynide's art#tail feathers posting
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🐰bunny bun being full of charm
#tried posting this yesterday but hit post limit before i could. oops!🙄#long ass post. sorry😔#and i tried with the coloring but..🤷♀️#jeon jungkook#bts#bts ads#bts x xylitol#btsgifs#mygifs
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andre’s first time smoking.
andre noticed that cal started smoking more and more. first it was cigarettes but it quickly turned into cigarettes and weed. in a weird way, he felt left out. he knew that cal smoked with rachel often and wondered if he wasn’t cool enough or if cal didn’t feel comfortable around him.
sometimes cal did smoke in front of andre. he’d open the window in his room when he got bored or tired of doing homework and sit in the windowsill with a joint. the way the smoke rose in the air and quickly blew out of cal’s nose and mouth entranced andre.
one afternoon, when cal and andre had finished a full pizza and watched one or two of their favorite movies, cal stood up to go smoke. he grabbed a crumpled pack of cigarettes from his dresser and walked outside. his parents weren’t home yet, so he was able to enjoy the breeze while he smoked.
he didn’t expect andre to follow him outside, and he definitely didn’t expect to see andre with an outstretched hand, asking for a cigarette. he sat down in one of the gabriel’s lawn chairs and looked up at andre incredulously.
“you’re joking, right?”
andre shook his head. he was dead serious.
cal scoffed but complied still. he placed the cigarette in andre’s hand and watched as the older boy fiddled with it, unsure of how to hold it.
“sit down. i’ll show you.”
andre followed cal’s demands and sat across from him. their knees touched as cal adjusted the cigarette, placing it between two of andre’s fingers. cal pushed andre’s hand up, silently telling him to put the cigarette in his mouth.
cal fished his lighter out of his pocket and lit his own cigarette, but he didn’t hand it to andre after. he simply leant forward and pressed the hot end of his cigarette to the cold end of andre’s, a struggle considering the way their knees were knocking together. he could feel andre’s breath on his face as he lit andre’s cigarette with his own.
it was an intimate moment, one neither of the boys were prepared for. when cal pulled away, andre sat wide eyed. the next breath he took made him cough as if he had forgotten about the smoke in the midst of the moment.
cal brought his knees up to his chest and leant back in his chair. his giggles were quiet but still shook his entire body. andre swatted at him but soon focused back on the cigarette in his mouth. the serious look on his face made cal laugh even harder.
#i hope this makes sense#sorry for the long posts#ik it’s a lot to read#oops#zero day#zero day 2003#andre kriegman#zeroday#cal gabriel#calvin gabriel#caldre#ben coccio#zero day movie#andre keuck#calvin robertson#cal robertson
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why cant he go to the cinema :(
Dazai: "Hmf.."
@megaroniandcheez
Chuuya: "You're acting really strange, y'know."
Chuuya: "After all, you don't get all fussy when I go out with Akutagawa or Kajii."
Chuuya: "Hey.."
Chuuya: "You haven't made any dumb or stupid remarks in the past 5 minutes and you're awfully warm.."
#long post#ask#update#anonymous#megaroniandcheez#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#bungo stray dogs#skk#soukoku#(Oops neither of them can escape from this one now)#(Aaaand I'm off to take a week break cause it's the holidays and all)#(Have fun with this cliffhanger(?))#(Yeah youre welcome!!)#(also sorry if the qualitys kinda off Im not working off my usual computer so I dont have all my brushes n stuff)
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Hellsite Detective in…
The Miku Bind
sometimes, a detective has got to do some work for herself. and i decided it was time to go after one of my white whales…
it was a cool, rainy afternoon in Tumblr City, like always. i had just wrapped up doin’ some cases and i was broodin’ out the window. but one image kept flashin’ in my mind. a vocaloid lovin’ foundin’ father that i’ve sought for my whole career. the fabled Thomas Jefferson Miku Binder.
to start my journey, i went down to the Search Bar, a night club in the heart of the city. neon lights shined on the sign out front and music could be heard pourin’ out the front door. i stepped in, drippin’ wet from the rain outside. the place was lively as ever, groups minglin’ and dancin’ to the music. and there, in a corner booth away from everyone else, was Don Google. that big time mob boss that acts as my informant. they sat there playin’ poker with a couple of lackeys, no one of note from what i could tell. they saw me walkin’ up and immediately called out to the waiter for another drink.
“well well! if it ain’t my buddy, Miss Detective! whatcha here for?”
i’m here for personal business, actually. i’m lookin’ for this…
i slid a photograph across the table. the photo that was so well known, it made even the Don pull back. they knew this was serious business.
“you sure you want this one?”
i’m sure, Don. you got it or not?
“oh, i got it. but it’ll cost ya.”
i wasn’t about to have my victory snatched away by this selfish old fool. the Don lookin’ for a deal was never a good sign, but i was desperate.
what do you want?
“oh, nothin’ much, doll. just do me a favor sometime down the line. then we’ll call it even. capisce?”
bein’ in debt to the Don was not something i wanted. whatever they asked me to do, i knew it’d be bad. but either way i needed this post. i needed to solve the case. so i made what would possibly be the worst mistake of my life…
it’s a deal.
“glad we could reach an agreement, Miss. i believe this is what you’re lookin’ for?”
they pulled out their black leather briefcase, their name engraved on it in multicolored letters. it would seem tacky on anyone else. but the Don had a style to them that made it work. poppin’ it open, they handed me the file i was lookin’ for. just sittin’ there at the top, like they knew i was here for it. i grabbed it, thanked the Don, and got up to leave. that’s when they grabbed my sleeve.
“Miss Detective. don’t forget about our arrangement.”
i pulled away, scoffed, and went on my way. whatever they wanted me to do, i’m sure it wasn’t great. either way, the job was done. and i finally had what i wanted. i went back to my dingy office, alone, and filed the post away. the rain still poundin’ down against the window.
Post Case: Closed
#long story post aaaaa!!!#sorry it’s so long oops i got carried away#but either way enjoy this classic post!#also idk if i’ll ever continue this story?#maybe if i do another personal case#or if people just want to see more#also normal post cases resume tomorrow!#hamilton#hamilton the musical#thomas jefferson#thomas jefferson miku binder#writing#original story#can i tag it that?#hellsite detective#post case closed#hellsite detective personal cases
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"There Will Be Blood Shed"
" '...Don't do it?' " " 'I want to live...?' "
"I wanted to live too."
"...Once..."
-
Soooooo, as you can imagine, I finally listened to "The Only Thing I Know For Real" from Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance and while apparently the character in question became something of a meme, for a first time listener, the song hit hard enough that before I knew it, I was sketching murder boy doing what he does best.
Like, not every line hits hard, but a significant number do.
"Memories broken" -Check
"The truth goes unspoken" -To Adeleine? Oooh yes
"I've even forgotten my naaaaaame" -Check and check
"I don't know the season or what is the reason I'm standing here holding my Blade" -I love the "don't know the season" part especially because on Shiver Star "summer" is what we would call "winter." Poor, mixed up kids
"A desolate place without any trace It's only the cold wind I feel" -That's Shiver Star in a nutshell
"It's me that I spite as I stand up and fight" -"Spite" in the sense that he's only hurting himself by doing this but also he regrets finding himself forced onto this path, yep...
"The only thing I know for real There will be blood shed" -See title
"The man in the mirror nods his head" -Reminds me of the Apologies title card I drew where Noir and Blade are reflected upon each other in the gleam of the sword.
"The only one left will ride upon the dragon's back" -....Okay, I have no witty comment here. Dragons are just a rock song thing! Oh! He did wear that dragon onesie when he was little??
"Because the mountains don't give back what they take." -Pfft! I'm sorry! I got curious and listened to "Wheelchair Sam" FIRST and thanks to that visual of him rolling down the mountain, I can't hear any of the "mountain" lines without laughing XD
"Losing my identity Wondering have I gone insane?" -Ahem! Back to serious and yeah. Though, Noir was usually too focused to stop and question what he was doing (...he couldn't dare...)
"Looking downward from this deadly height Never realizing why I fight" -Ahh...this one hurts, thinking about all the nights he would sneak out of bed to hang out on the roofs and the number of times he peered over the edge (into the abyss...) Though Noir knows why he fights, he probably spent a lot of time wondering why he's alive
-
「やめろ?」 「まだ生きたい?」 オレも生きたかった… …かつて、な。
Sometimes I hear certain chunks of dialogue in Japanese in my head first and have to translate them into English to get down what I want them to say XD And I just really like the idea of Noir being "I might've sympathized, but I just don't have room for that anymore. I have too much to do before the end and you're standing in my way."
#Noir Fontaine#Dess Art Post#CW: Blood#Kirby OC#I thought 'Ooh maybe I'll try to emulate Yoji Shinkawa's art!'#That turned out to be too hard for me but I hope the heavy contrast and harsh lighting gives a close-ish feel!#Again I'm sorry it's 'Oops Oops Oops All Noir' this week#Don't worry it will probably be over soon?!? XD#Like if he loses this round of the tourney? I'll probably take a nice long (well-deserved) break from Apologies content#If he wins I'll pack everything up into the Dess Cut in a nice convenient place as opposed to these scattered Noir drops#Apologies AU#cw: violence#cw: angst#...There's also a lot of Noir cause he's easy to draw >.>#Kirby OC Tournament
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bites you… dilf whizzer is on my mind again
Whizzer Brown the man you are……..
#Doodle of him that I drew a while back!!#Originally had no intention of posting this one but you can have it#as a little treat#VIVIAN. HELLO BTW :))#biting you backkkkk!!!!#falsettos#whizzer brown#whizzer falsettos#MILO ART#ASKS#SO SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER YOUR ASK BTW OOPS :((
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i saw a fanart on pinterest when i decided to change my entire phone theme and i can’t get it out of my head.
the art was just after the zuko and ozai agni kai. zuko was knocked out, iroh was getting ready to take him and leave, and azula just came in and said “i took care of it”. if anyone knows what i’m talking about and has it saved or knows the og artist pls lmk!!
anyways. it got me thinking about an expansion of this au (that i will never write because i have neither the patience nor the time to do that) that (unsurprisingly) results in disasterlesbian!azula
so hear me out on this one. there would need to be an entire plot. like. what’s aang going to do??
azula killed ozai by electrocuting him. it’s the first time she discovers her lightning bending. it looks like he had a heart attack in his sleep. (don’t get too wrapped up in the details. azula’s a prodigy she can be overpowered for a bit)
why did she kill her dad? she’ll swear up and down that it was because “he really should have picked on someone with a better fighting ability than zuzu. honestly, it’s stupid he didn’t lose his honor after frying my pathetic firebender of a brother to a crisp.” it’s actually because she kind of sort of loves zuko. she will NEVER admit that.
iroh becomes fire lord, albeit a bit reluctantly. he spends the next three years attempting to end the war, stop the spread of propaganda in the fire nation, and deal with his niece and nephew bickering all the time.
so aang comes out of the iceberg. meets katara and sokka. katara convinces him to take her to the north pole because he’s the avatar, he still should probably master all four elements war or not. all of the traveling is the same (except zuko chasing them) until they get to omashu and king bumi is like “what’s up my dude, welcome back. we’re recovering from a war, so you should probably learn politics and how to not offend anyone while you master the elements!!”
(“there was a WAR?!?!!!” -aang, probably)
so now aang does a deep dive into all of the nation’s politics while also training. katara doesn’t really attend his meetings, but sokka’s a total nerd and is sat for every single one. first is waterbending at the north pole. insert canon things but add in a meeting with arnook.
this is where we introduce the REAL enemy, because the enemy can’t be the gaang attempting to learn international law at 12, 14, and 15 years old. during the full moon someone assassinates the moon spirit! (sorry yue, i love you but you still die in this au…)
so after mastering waterbending the gaang heads to the earth kingdom. they meet toph and she joins. they head to ba sing se, which, after trying to talk politics with the king, they realize is still completely unaware of the war. while in the earth kingdom, we get a name for the big bad. the dai li. after realizing that ba sing se is basically a military dictatorship, the gaang escapes and head to the fire nation.
that’s where zuko, azula, and iroh get reintroduced. aang and sokka consistently come back from meetings with the royals complaining about “oh my god, the princess is such a bitch. seriously, how is she allowed to help run this country??”
katara eventually goes with the boys to a meeting to get them to shut up. toph makes fun of her for being a people pleaser, but katara will do literally anything to get her brother and best friend to stop yapping about the same topic at her every. single. day.
azula (disaster lesbian) doesn’t say a single word throughout the entire meeting. sokka and aang walk out feeling like they were in the twilight zone. katara shows up to more and more meetings. why? definitely not cause the princess is sort of kind of somewhat cute intriguing.
insert azula’s gay awakening crisis here. she eventually starts talking at the meetings, but she’s only ever nice to katara lmao. katara does realize that azula’s an actual genius, though. she decides that the two of them could probably like, take over the entirety of ba sing se in a day if they tried hard enough. but of course that is purely hypothetical.
so one day a meeting gets interrupted by a literal dai li assassin trying to kill aang. he barely escapes the resulting fight.
so the dai li send more assassins. and even more assassins. until finally zuko gets fed up and is just like “alright i’m tired of dealing with these guys. can we please go kick their leader’s ass??”
that is how azula and zuko end up joining the gaang. and how azula can eventually lay siege over ba sing se (even if she reluctantly gives it back when katara tells her to).
—
other misc key points:
- azula and katara get together right before they fight with long feng. it happens cause katara notices that azula is nervous (nobody else would be able to tell) and so she’s like “zula. you’ve got this. we’ve got this” and kisses her lmao
- toph and azula are best friends, to katara’s obvious dismay
- the second azula calls zuko “zuzu” in front of sokka he immediately starts rolling on the floor and laughing. katara has to make sure his lungs are okay afterwards
- zuko: “im literally not gay??” sokka: “yeah, and toph can see”
- toph regularly comes back to wherever the gaang is staying with bags of money. she knows how to find every single illegal fighting ring in the world.
- this is a loooooong term plot. since there’s no reason to worry about the comet it can take place over many years. which also means that katara and azula literally pine for each other until they’re like 20 and everyone around them, especially (and surprisingly) aang, is like “oh my god make it stop”
#atla#avatar the last airbender#katara#azula#azutara#kazula#sokka#toph beifong#zuko#zukka#i did not intend for this post to be so long#i’m sorry#i totally took like 45 minutes to type all this out oops
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i have finally feed you all, tumblr side of ghost and pals fandom.,.,.
#ghost and pals#ghost#ghostandpals#aura#aura ghost#culpability and the panopticon#culpability and the panopticon ghost#somehow i did manage to draw the catp this better not flop or ill sob#so sorry for not posting for a long while lol oops#i might draw more when ill actually get to cus school is about to start soon for me hhhhhhhhhhhhh
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actually. @moonlarked you wanted someone to talk about near & light as parallels? cuz uh...
ok SO, my big hot take on near is something like this: one of the most common criticisms i see about near is that he is simply too apathetic/bored/uncaring/etc, and that because he is not as emotionally invested as L, his win against light doesn't feel nearly (lol) as satisfying as it could've been. this is a view that often frustrates me, but for a very particular reason— namely, while i think it is somewhat accurate in content, i think it misses a lot of important context (and also misses a lot of the importance of light's character arc, but we'll get to that much later).
one of the most important things to remember about the wammy's kids is that, whether they like it or not, each and every one of them is defined almost entirely through their relationship to L. this is perhaps more obvious in the case of characters like BB and mello, who are very Aware of this shadow being cast upon them and react in very overt, emotional ways (e.g. becoming a literal serial killer out of seemingly pure spite & desire to be noticed, idolizing him but in a very emotionally complicated, kinda detached sorta way, etc), but it is true for Every wammy's kid, purely because of how the house itself functions. these kids are being raised to be L's successor— the greatest (and second greatest, and third greatest) detective on the planet. this is the ultimate goal hanging over every one of their heads, and it places a constant pressure on every kid there.
oftentimes, i think (perhaps both out of story and in it, as well?) people get so caught up in comparing near to L that they forget he also falls under this umbrella— only, for near, his position is slightly different because he actually somewhat succeeds at the task? like, yeah, L never gets the chance to officially call near his successor, but between the fact that he's constantly called the #1 kid at wammy's and that he. literally does actually end up becoming the new L after kira, i think it's always been pretty clear what his path was going to be.
going back to my starting point, this is one of the main ways that near makes a really good parallel to light in my mind, specifically the light that we see right at the start of the series. in both cases, near and pre-DN light, we see a kid who has succeeded at everything they've been handed, and more notably, we see a kid who is bored out of his fucking mind looking at the prospects of what he's got.
in the case of light, this is maybe a little more realistic/easy to understand— light does well in academics, he does well in sports, he does well with people. he is likely to follow in his father's footsteps with something criminal justice/police/law related, but even if he diverges from that path it likely won't be too big of a deal, as he has shown himself to be capable in enough areas that he's likely to succeed no matter what. by all measurable standards, light's doing pretty good at the start of the series. and yet— there is something so distinctly and inherently Bland about his life before he gets the DN. i've said before that light wouldn't call the DN a curse even if he wanted to, but i think in that moment when he's telling ryuk he disagrees w/ his father after visiting him in the hospital, when he says, "I've never once considered finding that notebook and gaining this power a misfortune. In fact, it's made me happier than I've ever been." (ch.22) he's still getting at something real and truthful.
again, going back to my equating of boredom with depression in this series— light's life is pretty good by all measurable standards. he has a family who loves him, presumably more than enough money to get by with a pretty cushy lifestyle, and does well, honestly better than well, in every single system he is presented with. but even so, he's still unhappy. there is something in his soul that has not yet been satisfied. he's bored of the world, bored of his place in it, how easy it all is. what the DN really offers him is a challenge, entertainment— just the same as L, and just the same as ryuk.
near similarly suffers from this kind of boredom, though it is perhaps less overtly stated than in the case of light, L, and ryuk, and less easy to catch as it is not as realistic/common. again: near basically ends up the winner of wammy's house. he is the one to take the title of L, he's declared the smartest, bestest kid at wammy's, and he gets all the power and privilege that comes with such a title. but still— he's so. fucking. bored. much to the embarrassment of mello, this shit was never really a challenge to him. it's pretty obvious that near isn't really even all that attached to the title of L— don't forget that his first real introduction to the story involves him explicitly saying that he'd be just fine working with mello as essentially co-L successors. and this is a viewpoint that he holds onto until the very end of the series, actually, claiming that he was only able to best light due to mello's sacrifice. near doesn't really give a fuck about the rat race he's been slotted into, though it's perhaps for that exact reason that he ends up winning it anyway, and getting all the responsibility that comes along.
that being said, i think there are still two main differences between light and near:
light fucks up.
near never gets past his boredom.
in the case of this first point, i do not mean to say that near never ever makes any move/judgement that could be considered a mistake— mello killing the entire SPK is the first thing that comes to mind, which i see as blood on near's hands for the same reason that L takes at least some responsibility for lind l. tailor. rather, i mean that near never makes a such a monumental fuck-up that he has to overturn his entire worldview just to account for it in the same way that light does when he accidentally kills two people w/ the DN the first time.
it's like, if you've ever known (or been) the kind of kid who always got perfect grades in school, straights A's for K-12, only to reach college and suddenly bomb their first test and have an existential crisis as their only real achievement in life is crushed into dust, then you know light yagami. only for light, it's on a whole 'nother scale, because not only does he fucking oopsie daisy kill two people, but he kills in such a context that he can mentally manipulate it back into seeming heroic. i hate to say that suffering causes character development because that's terrible advice (it's how you react to terrible circumstances that matters, imho) but to some degree, yeah, having conflicts/hard times in life is just necessary to figure shit out sometimes. near (and L, oh goddd i need to write about L properly sometime) has so many things smoothed over and handed to him, and on top of that, he's a super genius very rarely fucks anything up, at least according to base logic. he doesn't even really consider the morality of anything he's doing until light straight up asks him in a desperate bid to keep talking at the end, it's all just logic and factors to consider.
this all leads to my second point, which is that near never really gets the chance to overcome his boredom in the same way as the others. ryuk at least gets his entertainment for a couple years, and light and L (and mello) get so invested in each other and their game that it literally kills them, but near just kinda. keeps going. he keeps being L, he keeps solving cases, he does the duty he was given and enjoys his toys... and that's it. he lies around, the only one left to live, never even taking credit for the end of KIRA, never gets another haircut, and keeps the title going. what a life, for a kid who dragged a god back down to earth.
sidenote1: toys
am i reading too into things? maybe. near's toys hold a lot of significance throughout the story in more specific ways, most notably the finger puppets he uses at the very end of the story while tracking different people's/kira's actions, though you could probably read some kind of meaning into every toy he has and the ways in which he plays with them. what i want to look at here though is more the general reasoning behind playing with them in the first place— a desire for a childhood he didn't get to have? a love of games more generally? (could track with him seeing the KIRA case, or really all detective work, as just another game.) you could also read into his toys as another source for near's apathy/detachment from reality, literally breaking every notable person around him down into a doll by the end of the story, speaking a lot to how alienated he is from the world (again, very similar to both L and light, there). i don't have much more of a point to make here, just wanted to add this in somewhere since it's one of his most striking visual character traits.
sidenote2: light's arc
going back to my point at the start of this post... light's character arc.
uhh. near winning is a good thing, actually. and i don't just mean that as a moral claim— DN itself as a story isn't really concerned with trying to answer any moral questions about good or evil or the justice system, so it makes sense & is fair to me that it doesn't try all that hard to answer anything along those lines by the very end of the story. what i mean to say here is that near winning is a good thing on the level of the character arc, specifically as an end to light's arc.
i made a post a while back while mid-manga reread talking through some of the reasons why L's death can feel kind of unsatisfying/paint the second half of the story in a less interesting light (hah) for a lot of viewers, with the main point i ended up on being that L wasn't really able to win because he never really had all that clear of a win state in the first place. i still kiiind of agree with this point, though i think there's a lot more i could add to that post... anyways. point is, i bring up that post because it touches on a similar thing to what i want to talk about here: light's character arc being a tragedy.
this is more speculation on my part, but i think another part of the reason why people get turned off to DN post-L death is not just the fact that L isn't really a playable character in the game anymore, but the fact that light's character arc takes such a dramatic twist after the timeskip. i talked about this a little bit in my little ramble on light & titles (which a lot of you liked, apparently!! ty for all the lovely comments on there, i love reading what you guys have to say ^w^), but light's character arc in DN is a tragedy to me, full-stop.
tragedies to me are cyclical— revolutionary, if you will. since all stories necessitate some kind of something to take place, a tragedy to me is all about a character beginning in one point, then continually getting hit by Event, after Thing, after Event, only to end up in essentially the exact same place that they started. any character changes or development that seem to happen throughout the story are ultimately nullified by the end— the main subject does not truly grow, does not truly reflect on their actions or traumas, does not move on. two steps forward is two steps back. even ending up in a position worse than they started is sometimes better than a true tragedy, in my mind, as at least then there is some chance they may still reflect or change or grow in the future, leaving the hope that they may still overcome this new circumstance later on. a true tragedy ends in nothing meaningful ever getting the chance to truly change, at least in the case of the main subject of the story.
light's character arc in the first half of the story is an upward, underdog kind of story. yes, light has the power of a shinigami, of a supernatural force that the rest of the world doesn't even know exists— but part of the real appeal of his conflict with L is how powerful L feels in comparison, having the wealth and respect and title to command a world's worth of forces against him. fuck, even taking down naomi misora feels like an incredible hurdle overcome, a teenager managing to charm and yap and flutter his eyelashes out of a shitty situation he was only just lucky enough to stumble across in the first place, to stop someone who could've ruined his entire plan with a few words. killing L was always going to be light's greatest accomplishment when it comes to his rise to godhood, not only because of L's great power but the comparative position of light at the time that he did so— not yet an adult, not even really out of school, perhaps barely out of his parents' house.
in contrast, light's arc for the second half of the story is a downward spiral. we see all of the consequences light has been miraculously avoiding smack into him like meteors in this half, his ever-growing ego torn to shreds as he's yanked back down to earth. and in comparison to the anime, the manga really beats this point into you, dedicating the entire second half of the story to light's fall from grace as he loses his mind and loses his humanity. like, while i do kind of prefer the manga ending to the anime, i have to admit that light's death there is fucking brutal. light goes through pages, chapters, purely dedicated to near tearing him a new asshole, only end the story bloody and delirious and crawling on his knees begging a god of death to fix everything— all just to die the exact same death as everyone else he's killed. i mean, look at these fucking pages (ch.107):
(that last fucking picture of him. clawing at the sky. it always fucking gets to me.)
it hurts to read this shit!! we spend the entire first half of the story watching this dude's rise to glory, the entire time stuck inside of his head, emotionally connecting with him even if we don't really mean to or disagree with his actions or question his morality. watching his fall back down, especially after all of that, is fucking painful— an in no way does near make the process any easier. if anything, his blunt, snarky bitchery, saying all the quiet parts out loud, calling light out for being a terrible replacement L and pointing and laughing at his failures to his face, only shoves more salt in the wound, only proves just how human he has been all this time, how meaningless any of his supposed "rise to power" ever really was. light got his fifteen seconds of fame, sure— but near is armed and ready to make sure that's all he'd ever get, that the name Light Yagami would never even be associated with the position he held for so long. six years was all he got— and it was all he was ever going to get, because light yagami did not do this for humanity, he did it for himself. all near did was collect the debt that L prescribed. he fulfilled his duty as told— nothing more, and nothing less.
i just have to wonder... is this why people hate him? because he has no sympathy for the fall? maybe. i don't know.
either way, i don't think i could ever really hate him. it's a big responsibility, being the only one left behind. but near has always been the one to hold such weights on his shoulders.
#death note#astronaut rambles#back at it again w/ the literal shower thoughts everyone#trying to get out as much DN writing as i can before classes start and take over everything aksdjflks#i think near is definitely in my top 3 DN characters oops i love him#btw i haven't seen a lot of the extra manga n stuff (?) related to wammy's so this is mostly just based off of the main manga#certified YAPPER applestorms here sorry L i like to win too#it's my homestuck roots i can't help it#also couldn't fit this in but... i like near's main color being white#it really fits the emptiness/void/apathy thing but in a different way#like it's not MU. it's not two fully black pages. but there's not a lot there either#not much room to be a person when you're built to be a computer ig#sighhh. these boys and their humanity#prospectively classpecting near as an heir of void. btw.#also sympathy for the fall would make a fuckin great band name#man i love writing these things. spinning my boys in my head#the DN fandom has been great on here lately love reading everyone's posts & seeing all the art hehehe <3#super long post#long post
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