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onlyswan · 1 year ago

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Hi Art 💕💕💕

I'm here to answer your end of year survey and I'm sorry in advance if I get carried away but I just love your work too much to not ramble about it.

It's so so hard to pick a favourite because I genuinely love all of them so much, but if I absolutely had to pick, it would have to be in which you don’t want to give up on jungkook (even when he gave you reasons to, even if they give you reasons to). This one had me literally sobbing, it touched me so so so deeply. The way you worded OC's emotions had me feeling for them completely. "after putting out the small fire, your tumultuous emotions clamber to the surface, and it becomes increasingly difficult to hold them down the longer he’s around. the clouds are dark gray, as if they’re writing in pencil beforehand, my tears are about to fall. you feel stupidly envious of their ability to weep anytime they need to, in the face of the casualties. how nice would it be if you allowed yourself to be the same?" This is just one beautiful example of that. And I'm still in awe of the way Jungkook handled everything. "four months have passed, but it isn’t time’s job to heal all wounds. it’s his." This part will echo in my mind forever because!!!!!!!! And last but not least, this one just makes me tear up every time I see it: "he wants to be inconvenienced by you. he wants to make impulsively confrontational phone calls he will overthink before bed. he wants you to wake him up in the middle of the night clawing for snuggles. he wants you to jump on his back when you’re exhausted of walking. he wants to charm the owner of your favorite restaurant into cooking one more meal before closing because you always ask him to make a quick stop when he visits you. he wants his life to be influenced by yours in every possible way, two different colors mixed in a palette to create a new one that matches the sky." Every one of your works makes me want to have a love like theirs but this one just... yeah this one brings out those feelings especially well.

As for favourite lines, it was soooo hard to narrow it down because as I've said before, I reread almost every single paragraph of your stories multiple times because I need to appreciate their beauty fully. But here are a few that I really really love: "you don’t think jungkook realizes— just how courageous it is to build camp infront of a door asking to be given love, holding his pounding heart in the palm of his hands, and trusting that you will accept it in yours to handle it with the gentlest of care." and "jungkook is messy. he always leaves behind a fragment of his heart, and you shake your head and you pick up each one to stuff it in the shallow pocket of your understanding of love… until the weight of them destroyed said pocket, and all of a sudden, you have awoken. he opened your eyes to the underlying implication of that filter, how having something sacred to protect is also what makes life more worth living after all." and "he wants to grieve for all the wasted time because everyday, he craved for this. to be honest, he forgets his name when he’s kissing you. outside, the crowds scream his name for being the best at what he does best, and he happily lives for the euphoria of it all. but in this room, there is only you and him. you communicate using the unspoken language of love with your lips. you bare the soft animal in yourselves with your teeth sinking in the other’s skin. you allow your rawest desires and truths to unravel with a slip of the tongue. he exists beyond his name, becomes an indecipherable enigma even to himself. what is the use of an explanation if there is no meaning anyway? all he knows is that he loves you despite all the reasons, against all the reasons." and "for the first time, you are crying not because of the absence of love, but the abudance of it. humans are essentially a collection of dead stars that are brought back to life when they are consumed by the electric ache of love and yearning. you are addicted to the antidote that is the touch of another body that burns the same."

You're really unfair for asking who my favourite character is because I love both of them so much. I think your Jungkook is my favourite depiction of him I've ever read, so many times I read lines that he's said in your work in his voice and all the little details you add perfectly capture all of his cute habits. But I'm also completely in love with OC because they are absolutely irresistible, perfect balance of sweet and emotional but also funny and cute and hot and.... I think these two quotes describe how I feel best: "he can’t imagine how a human being could ever dare to treat you with anything but gentleness. literally, can’t. it makes him sick to his stomach, makes the blood in his veins boil. he feels disturbed by the memories that still haunt you, and he feels angry because he is powerless and he can’t erase them no matter how hard he tries." and "his smile then fades, not so thrilled with the reminder that it’s so easy to fall in love with you, and therefore anyone would die to take his place. he knows that they hover around you like flies when he’s not there. well, he really can’t blame them, can he? you’re so fucking attractive."

I would looove to see more from the very beginning of their relationship, I love seeing the build up of their feelings for each other and noticing the special connection they've always had. The parts that you have written about those times have been so so adorable, so I would love to read more.

And as for the seasons question, I'm personally very partial to the warmer seasons, I loooove in which you are jungkook’s religion and he wants to be your passenger princess. and in which sour and salt could be so sweet when jungkook’s existence reminds you that there is still good in the world. I felt completely transported in the seasons you were writing about as I was reading these. But I also really love in which jungkook’s tattoos cure your winter blues and you paint his life with colors. and the thought of Jungkook and OC being all cozy in the cold weather, so I don't think I can choose between them.

I got completely carried away lol but I could talk about your work for days, so I couldn't really not take this chance to do just that. I think about all of your stories constantly and all of them have stayed with me after reading them. I'm so excited to read your new one too!!! I've just been a little all over the place lately so I haven't had the time. Alsoooo my crush just got a lip piercing, so I'll be rereading this one for no particular reason...

I hope you're doing well, Art and I hope you know I love you so so so much 💞💞💞

IVI MY BELOVEEEEED i’m literally the happiest seeing someone ramble about oc and jungkook i wish you could see the smile on my face right now 😭😭😭💞💞💞

the drabble you chose as your favorite waaaa 🥺 it was definitely a challenge to write but tbh it’s also my favorite. oc crying in the bathroom still gets me teary eyed to this day lol and "four months have passed, but it isn’t time’s job to heal all wounds. it’s his." This part will echo in my mind forever because!!!!!!!! SAME !!!!! 😭😭😭 wbk they love each other, but in this one… damn they really do :(

and your favorite lines 🥲 my heart is filled with so much warmth. i really spent a lot of time writing this year huh. you chose the ones i was so emotional writing 🥺🥺🥺 i literally love you and how connected our hearts are !!!!

I think your Jungkook is my favourite depiction of him I've ever read, so many times I read lines that he's said in your work in his voice and all the little details you add perfectly capture all of his cute habits.

LITERALLY ME RN

i love writing jungkook so so so much this is literally the best compliment ever i need to kiss you with consent. also i love how we are all in love with oc and as we should 🤭

the drabbles u mentioned for the seasons made me feel so nostalgic omg. i do remember you loving those 🥺🥺🥺 more to come in 2024 !!! especially with spring and summer coming up <3

please feel free to get carried away any time lol you are the sweetest most endearing ever. i probably feel the same way with your reviews as you do with my works 🥺 i think about them all the time too and they have stayed with me. i love youuuu and i’m excited for you to read the new one too and i hope you have the most magical winter break 💞🫂🌨️

alsoooo i peeped the crush update… a lip piercing is dangerous 🫣 praying for your poor heart

#art’s post office ☁️#onlyswan year-end survey #ivi <3

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zithergilt · 2 months ago

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Day... i think four, on the K'shun!!

The... language family!- [it's hard to write several paragraphs per day without running out of ideas] In day two i mentioned the KharHriar'ung, the main language spoken by the Khar, and their Lingua Franca [kind of], and is from their hyperdominant language family, kinda like our Indo-European, the Reaeir [reconstructed term for "language" in Proto-Reaeir, related to modern Hriar], which then of course begins with the Proto-Reaeir, then splits into three varieties, two of which dissapear, and one [the Great Plains version] advances into five things, which i will discuss today, because doing every language would be.... uh, challenging. Anywho, they are: The Charkuiy: Version spoken by the Cha people across the mountains, making them isolated from the horrors of the K'shun and so grew to power and eventually sorta... mixed with them and became the same civilization. The Myüirkacher: Died out with the expansion of the K'shun, a bit more primitive then the rest, but colonized the desert and grew to it's own language family. The Burv: Small yet quickly growing civilization. MAYBE mythological, the K'shun had records of them, seemed to have been really important. Then, according to K'shun, had a schism, growing into the ones that thought they should save the world, and the ones that thought they should save themselves. But they agreed on one thing, that the day they die will be apocalyptic. The ones who thought they should save themselves apparently withdrew themselves from the world on a flying tree... huh. And the other side of the Schism died out due to a plague. The Khar thought that the day the Sky-Tree crashes will be the last day. The Irve: A city that walled themselves up and made an empire underground. But it didn't work out... something horrible happened, and societal colapse, so the language died out along with it's people. The Proto-Khar: Exactly what it sounds like, although they're still primitive by now, they hunt and are considered barbarical by the more advanced. They live on the Great Plains and were the closest related to the ancient Great Plain-ial people. And that's all of the first generation of Great Plain-ial langauges, as the other branches of the Proto-Reaeir deserve their own posts even though they didn't descend into anything else. Sorry for the long post, here's a potato 🥔 I'll post tomorrow, of course.

#worldbuilding #K'shun

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asexual-maniac · 1 year ago

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adding on!

On the morning of September 14th, Mischa woke up to his adoptive parents arguing.

“You’re always spending everything we have on useless junk!”

“It’s not my fault we have that extra burden in our basement, is it?”

he paused, so angry tears started to well up in his eyes. he punched a hole in the thin walls of the cold, dark basement. While his knuckles ached, he typed out a message to Talia. A long, wordy paragraph with mixes of every language that he spoke. He wished so badly that he could just be with her. He’d have no worries about anything else. It felt like every day in Uranium City was more excruciating than the last. He told her,

I don’t want to be here anymore.

And then, at 6:14, as he boarded the cyclone rollercoaster, talia responded.

I’m so sorry, misch. You have to keep going, so we know we’ll be together one day. call me when you get back from that stupid fair. I love you.

And when the cart began to derail, mischa finally realized that he was wrong. He wanted to be here. He needed to be here. He and talia needed it more than anything.

He tried reaching for his phone, in a last attempt to say goodbye to her, but he couldn’t. His phone went hurdling to the ground as he slipped out of the safety rail.

“I love you too, моя любов,” he whispered as he was thrown out the cart, knowing talia would never get that call back.

ok but what if on the morning of september 14th noel and his mother had yet another argument about noel needing to 'dial it back'

noel tells himself he hates her.

but, that evening, as he's seconds away from crashing into the tarmac and being crushed, all he can think about is how his mother is going to be alone. and he realises that he doesn't hate her.

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moriiartist · 2 years ago

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WRONG TURN (AT THE RIGHT TIME)

Masterlist

Taglist

PAIRING: Vampire!Ethoslab x GN!Reader

SUMMARY: It was simple, the arrangement you had with Gem. She would let you study in the library before it opened; you would be gone before her boss came in. So… how did you wind up with a vampire for a history tutor?

WARNINGS: Mild language, death mention, semi-graphic violence, non-consensual touching (you get manhandled a bit, nothing sexual), blood and injury, vampirism

A/N: Etho’s a little spooky in this one... had me feeling some type of way while I was writing him 🥴. This one is a bit longer than some of the other stuff I’ve written, and a bit scarier, but I hope y’all enjoy it anyways!

“Alright, time to pack up. You promised me you would be gone before my boss gets in, and the library opens in an hour.”

You jumped at the sound of a book slamming against the surface of the desk you were sitting at, jerking your head up and away from the paragraph you had been staring at for the past ten minutes. A figure loomed over you like the specter of death, impatiently drumming their fingertips against the flesh of their crossed arms.

They- or rather, she- affixed you with a glare that could melt steel, green eyes flashing behind the thick rims of her glasses. It took a second longer for your sleep-deprived brain to boot up, but it was almost too easy at this point for you to recognize the face of the library’s chief archivist.

Rubbing at your burning eyes with a forefinger and thumb, you puffed a slow breath through your cheeks. After trying to read by the dim light of the desk lamp for God knows how many hours, they stung like hell.

“Sorry, Gem. I must’ve lost track of time.”

The librarian, Gem, snorted but allowed her stern gaze to thaw, auburn hair rippling down her back as she tilted her head. “Are you sure you aren’t pushing yourself too hard? I know you want to finish up your degree, but I’m pretty sure you’ve studied here every day this week.”

You chuckled dryly. Oh, she had no idea.

Your day job took up almost all of the ‘working day’ so to speak, leaving only the darkest hours of the night for you to attend college classes and catch up on homework. However, during those hours, there was nothing you could access beyond what little you could pirate on your shitty laptop and printed course material.

Which is why Gem is the only thing standing between you and straight-up flunking college.

Despite her devout adherence to the laws that governed your local city library, you had convinced her with a mix of bribery, guilt-tripping, and groveling to allow you to visit in the early hours before it opened. You were able to read and complete your assignments in peace, but most importantly: you were able to access legitimate, essential, official resources during the only time you had during the day to study.

You felt the muscles in your jaw twitch as you held your smile, hoping it didn’t look too vacant. Or desperate.

“I’m fine, Gem. Just a bit tired.”

She quirked an eyebrow. “Sorry- have you seen yourself? The bags under your eyes are big enough to carry my groceries.”

You winced.

“Can’t argue with you there.”

If you were being honest, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d gotten more than four hours of sleep in a row- and even that estimate was generous. You pivoted in your seat, making the tactical decision to retreat from Gem’s piercing gaze.

You sighed as you crammed as many books as possible into your backpack, forcing protesting muscles that had long remained stagnant into movement. Whatever didn’t fit you hefted in your arms, making a face halfway between a grimace and a look of abject horror as your back cracked under the weight.

Gem pursed her lips, and somehow you resisted the urge to groan. This was an old argument that the two of you had hashed and re-hashed ever since she’d let you come into the library during closing hours, and you were sick of having to defend yourself.

“You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends. You look like you’re going to keel over at any second.”

“Well,” you laughed airily, the lightness of your voice at odds with the abject exhaustion in your expression. “It’s not like there’s anything I can do. I need to earn my degree, and you know that night classes are the only thing I can afford to take.”

Pausing for a moment, you snorted. “Both literally and figuratively.”

“You’re going to kill yourself at this rate,” Gem sighed, her normally lively countenance as deadpan as she could make it.

“No, I don’t think so. Not if you get to me first.”

A beat of silence.

“... Fair enough.”

It was routine for you to haul your backpack onto your shoulders, Gem helping you with the straps, and wave a harried goodbye to Gem as you slipped out the library’s back door. At her insistence, you promised to text her when you returned to your apartment so she knew you had gotten back safely.

You shivered, clutching your books tighter to your chest as the warmth of the indoors faded, leaving you to the mercy of Autumn’s chilled embrace.

It was no exaggeration that your free hours landed squarely in the dead of night- because although you had been up for hours, the sky was still as dark as pitch. Only the barest hint of starlight shone through the inky blackness, and though logically, you knew it was because of light pollution, some part of you wondered if the entirety of the milky way had been swallowed whole.

While the library was laid deep within the city’s heart, it was directly at the center of the entertainment district. Meaning that, despite the late (or early) hour, the city streets surrounding the library were just as busy during the night as they were during the day. Restaurants, bars, nightclubs, and… other businesses lined the street, the light from their illuminated windows and neon signs shining like rainbows against the pavement.

Across the street, raucous laughter resounded from within a bar. The sound bounced eerily across the pavement and crowded walls of the buildings that rose like silhouettes from the ground. You flinched as you heard the sound of shattering glass, accompanied by loud cheering, wrinkling your nose against the sharp sting of early winter frost and the pungent scent of booze.

You quickened your pace, dodging and weaving through flocks of tourists that ranged from mildly inebriated to flat-out drunk, barely managing to keep yourself balanced under the awkward weight of your backpack. The idea of being caught up in whatever illicit business went down in the cramped alleyways and seedy taverns that garnished the area like sprinkles on a cake was far from appealing- especially with the whole ‘living alone’ thing.

At the next street, you finally made the turn that led you away from the throngs of frat boys and bar-flies into the residential areas that sprouted just a ways off from popular tourist destinations.

Although you had made the journey countless times, it never ceased to startle you just how quickly the general cacophony of shouting and laughter faded away with a few blocks of distance. It was much, much quieter here; the only sounds were the gentle tap-tap-tap of your shoes against the concrete and the occasional rush of a car driving by.

Windows of houses looked more like dark, empty eyes as you passed them, and the further you got from the entertainment district, the easier it was to pretend that you were the only person on earth. A sharp gust of wind suddenly howled through the trees, rattling leaves and raking icy claws across your skin.

You gasped as a shiver snaked its way down your spine, instinctually clutching your books tighter to your chest in an effort to conserve warmth. Cursing softly, you shed through your coat pocket to find your phone, exclaiming in victory as your fingers wrapped around it. Clicking it open, you blinked in surprise once you spotted the time: 5:00 AM.

Huh. That was definitely waayyy later than you had originally expected… and you had to get to work at 8:30. A high-pitched whine rose in the back of your throat.

Say goodbye to any chance you could’ve had at a (barely) decent sleep, because at this rate? It would be a miracle if you could get home in time to shower and eat.

You were so focused on your phone that you almost didn’t process the electric hum that filled the air, the lone streetlight ahead flickering in and out to the beat of your footsteps. Catching the flashing from your periphery, you glanced up with a frown.

Now- you weren’t an electrician, or really anyone skilled in the engineering field, but… you were fairly certain that it shouldn’t be making that loud, electric humming noise. You halted in your steps, tilting your head and squinting your eyes at the malfunctioning lamp. It flickered one more time, weakly, before plunging you into shadow.

If you thought that the night was dark before, surrounded by light and the nightlife, it paled in comparison to the true darkness that descended upon you like a cloak. One moment, you’re perfectly fine, and the next, you can hardly see the shape of your body against the pavement.

Another shiver wracked your body- but it felt different from a chill. Something inside your brain had begun frantically ringing alarm bells, and you could only desperately search for some kind of stressor as the hair on the back of your neck rose to attention.

Shakily, you exhaled, spinning in one, slow circle. There was the faint outline of a parked car, engine silent and sleeping, the houses, the trees- nothing. Nothing that would make your anxiety levels swing from ‘manageable’ to ‘DEFCON one’.

You turned back around, your previously relaxed pace discarded in favor of a light jog. It was all you could do not to fall on your ass as your backpack shifted and bounced with your downstep, and your chest felt tight as panic began to seep in.

What the hell is going on?

Something clattered behind you, and your breath seized in your lungs. The burning was hardly an afterthought because you were sprinting, stumbling and dropping your own books in your haste to get away from something you couldn’t- or wouldn’t- see.

You were so close you could see the gleam of the next streetlight up above. Your inhales were more like sobbing gasps of air, and distantly you felt the dampness of your cheeks as tears sluiced down them.

You were so close.

But it was never like you had the chance to escape, anyway.

A calloused hand wrapped around your wrist, yanking it and the rest of your body back. Hard.

All of the wind was knocked out of you as you slammed into the ground, hands and knees shrieking with agony as the pavement grain shredded the skin. The books within your bag did little to soften the fall, their hard spines digging into your ribs through the material of your bag.

Spots danced in front of your eyes, and you felt like you were moving through molasses as a pair of shiny dress shoes strolled into view. You didn’t want to see their face. Something visceral within you begged you to make yourself as small as possible- not a threat, nothing of interest.

Still, your traitorous gaze drifted upwards, and you felt the blood drain from your face as you stared straight up into a pair of ruby-red eyes.

“My, don’t you smell divine.”

You tried to scream, but it came out more like a choked gasp as your lungs came up empty.

This wasn’t- you had to be hallucinating. This had to be something that your sleep-deprived brain had dreamed up, safe and asleep in your bed.

Vampires weren’t real.

But, as it grinned with razor-sharp fangs, face alight with nothing but hunger, it was impossible to say it was anything else as it dug sharp, talon-like nails into your open wound.

Pain, quick as lightning and ten times more intense sparked through your nervous system, wringing a punched-out gasp from your throat. The periphery of your eyes darkened, and for a moment you genuinely thought that you would pass out from sheer agony as you desperately tried (and failed) to tear its wrist away.

It chuckled, twisting its claws in deeper to draw a proper scream out of you, humming in approval before it pulled them out. You went lax, heaving for breath as it lapped at the sticky blood- your blood- coating its fingers.

Your eyes fluttered open, and you realized that it was watching you. Crouched on the side of the street, inspecting you with a calculating gaze not dissimilar from how a fox inspects a cornered rabbit.

“Oh,” it said, a grin that was entirely too wide creeping across its face. “Yes. You taste even better than I thought you would.”

Feeling your breaths come faster and faster as fresh tears prickled at the corners of your eyes, you pressed your palm to your mouth, only succeeding in smearing the blood that covered it all over your chin.

So this was how you died. Alone, scared, and covered in your own blood, pinned down in the middle of the street by a creature you thought only existed in classical literature and trashy romance novels.

And, to top it all off, you had never even graduated college.

The vampire shifted, and you flinched at the sensation of its talons scraping at the soft flesh of your neck. You knew what happened next if the stories were to be believed, but terror had frozen your limbs as thoroughly as rigor mortis.

You swallowed, squeezing your eyes shut.

And promptly had them fly back open as the vampire shot back in a blur of snarling and snapping limbs, hitting the ground several meters away from you with a loud crack.

Transfixed, you could only watch with a dumbfounded expression as a cloaked figure appeared to teleport in front of you, hissing lowly. The vampire was on its feet before you could blink, its handsome features twisted into an animalistic snarl before it locked gazes with… whatever was blocking its path to you.

If you didn’t feel like you were about to pass out, you would’ve thought how quickly its expression changed from ardor to pure, unadulterated terror was hilarious.

“You,” it breathed, every muscle in its body snapping with tension. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

Sheer survival instinct had kept your focus solely on the vampire that had cornered you, but the fear that radiated it was enough of a surprise that you found yourself glancing over towards whatever was perpetrating it.

One time, after you had gotten off work and had nothing else to do, you decided to watch a documentary series about tropical rainforest animals. For the most part, it was just background noise to help you fall asleep, but you found yourself engrossed when a particular segment about leopards began.

All you could think of, now that you were looking at the cloaked figure, was just how still they were. They didn’t move a muscle, not even where a normal person would’ve begun to cramp after a few seconds. They didn’t even seem to be breathing.

They reminded you of those leopards that you had watched. Especially in the way that those leopards went when they were hunting.

“Who says where I can and can’t be?” they, or rather, he said, masculine voice smooth and calm. “It’s certainly not your job.”

Sensing an opportunity to get the hell out of dodge, you grit your teeth as you shifted onto your hands and knees, slowly pushing yourself up into a crouch. The raw and ragged skin on your knees screamed in protest as it pulled taut, and you had to bite your tongue to stifle your soft sounds of pain.

The vampire’s jaw worked, and even as it drew itself up to its full height, you noted it was much taller than whatever had decided to intervene. (Something was wearing that cloak, but if he was an actual human person, you would eat your hat.)

The cloaked figure titled his head. “If you know what’s good for you, you should leave.”

You froze in place, heart jack-hammering in your ribs. Was he talking to you?

He went on- “Wouldn’t want to break any more rules. The covenant will have your head.”

For a long, tense moment, nothing happened. The wind whistled down the street. In the distance, police sirens wailed.

You didn’t dare move- not when the air itself felt charged, waiting for something to snap.

Then, the vampire growled, lips pulling back from their teeth wolfishly as they reluctantly bowed. Flabbergasted, you watched as it reluctantly melted back into the shadows, the red gleam of its eyes the last thing to fade to black.

The only thing you could hear was your heart thumping in your ears.

After a moment, the cloaked figure’s head turned deliberately towards where your crumpled form was hunched over, and you hastily scrabbled to your feet, Balling your hands up into fists. you trembled, staring him down.

“Are you alright?”

You don’t know what you would do if he decided to attack you, but you weren’t going to take it kneeling- not when you still felt the burn of humiliation for remaining paralyzed by terror. To your continuing horror, he took your silence as an invitation to step forward.

“Stay back,” you bit out, adrenaline buzzing through your veins. “I will not hesitate to punch you in your stupid face.”

Impressively, although you couldn’t make out his face with the shadows that clung to the hood of his cloak, you could see him do a double-take. “... Sorry?”

“You better be,” you muttered, eyes flickering to and fro as you tried to find a good escape route.

To your surprise, he hesitated, murmuring something under his breath that you couldn’t make out. He cleared his throat, shifting on his feet. “I am, if that makes you feel any better. You aren’t supposed to be attacked like this, it’s… uncivilized.”

Gaze snapping back to him, your brows raised incredulously. “Really? You’re not just saying that so that I let my guard down? And then you kill me and steal all my blood?”

“If I wanted to ‘steal all your blood’ I would’ve done it already.”

You deadpanned. “That’s not as comforting as you think it is.”

He took another step, but before you could threaten him again, pulled the hood of his cloak down. By now, your eyes had adjusted to the light (or lack thereof), and you found yourself sucking in a harsh breath.

Although you had guessed, what you saw definitely revealed him to be another vampire. His hair, a close-cropped shock of white, stood out against the darkness of the surrounding street.

You couldn’t describe the way that he was looking at you if you tried. His eyes burned like hot coals, pinned on you with a kind of unyielding focus that made your arms prickle with goosebumps. It both struck you as similar to that other vampire’s regard, a predator watching prey, but it was distinctly different- more like he was cataloging the rise and fall of your breath, the grinding of your shoe heel into the pavement.

A black mask- one of those anime ones that you couldn’t bother to remember the name of- hung around his neck, ready to be pulled up without a second’s notice. It looked well-cared for, despite being a little worn around the edges, and he fiddled with it absently as your gaze swept over him.

The most glaring thing about his appearance was the fact that he was almost flawlessly handsome, skin unblemished, bone structure pristine. The only thing that marred him was the long, thin scar that cut across his left eye, splitting his eyebrow in half.

“Even if you are pretty, I still won’t hesitate to punch you in the nose.”

He barked a laugh, fangs- holy shit his fangs- flashing. For some reason, he seemed pleased at your jab, chest puffing out slightly. “So you think I’m pretty?”

“Do I look like someone that would be attracted to an overgrown mosquito?” you scoffed, eyeing his shrewdly. “And a vain one, at that.”

He paused for a moment, staring at you, and you felt the fear that had temporarily abated come back in full force. One of these days, you were going to take a vow of silence so you could never say anything stupid ever again.

You swallowed, hugging your arms tight to your body as you leaned away. In a blink, he was suddenly, much, much closer, and you swore as you jumped.

“No,” the vampire said abruptly, tilting his head in a predatory manner. A smile split across his face, and a confident gleam arose within his eyes as his hand came up to grab your chin firmly. (Privately, you were relieved to find that he clipped his nails like a normal human being.)

“But you do look like someone who knows something they shouldn’t.”

You thrashed in his grip, eventually stilling with your palms pressed flat to his chest. Although you were pushing as hard as you could, it didn’t seem to affect him.

You laughed, a little bit hysterical. “Oh, so now you’re going to kill me?”

His fingers drummed against the flesh of your cheek. Languidly running his tongue against the swell of his upper lip, he cocked his head to the other side. You winced as you heard the vertebrae in his neck crack.

“What could I give you to keep you quiet?”

You blinked, taken aback by his jarringly serious tone.

“What?”

“What do you want? Money? Favors? What would convince you to keep your mouth shut?” he pressed, eyes narrowing, Distantly, you noted that his eyelashes were as pale as the hair on top of his head. “We’ve got kind of a secret society thing going on, y’anno, and we don’t need you blabbing.”

Confused, you shifted, and his hand came up to squish your cheeks until your lips puckered like a fish’s. You tensed but didn’t attempt to move. “‘Oul’nt you j’st kill ‘m?”

He smirked, ruby red eyes gleaming. “Yes, but it would be a shame. You’re funny.”

You batted his hand away, staring at him. He… seemed sincere, or he could just be a very skilled liar. It was more than likely that both were true, and whatever you did, it would be a gamble.

“... A tutor,” you said after several moments of silence, voice laced with quiet certainty. “That’s what I need. A tutor.”

He stared at you. You stared at him. There was a lot of staring at one another.

“That’s it? ”

You shrugged. “College is hell.”

“Not cash, or fame, or… cash…” the vampire frowned. “Everyone asks for cash.”

“I guess I’m just built different,” you said, as if you weren’t running on less than half of the minimum sleep quota and hubris.

You would be kicking yourself later when you sprung out of bed, wild-eyed as you beheld the healing cuts that littered your knees and palms, but right now? You were absolutely not in the right mindset to be making pacts with a creature of the night.

“Alrighty then,” he said after a moment, letting go of your face in favor of offering you his other hand. “It’s a deal.”

You, with all the bravado and lack of self-awareness that only a college senior could possess, took it.

He grinned, and in a blink, a solid chest bumped into your back. There was no heat to your proximity other than your startled flush, even as the vampire’s cold breath caressed the shell of your ear.

“The name’s Etho. I have a hunch that you and I... we’re going to have a lot of fun together.”

The crack of your fist hitting his face resounded through the street, drawing a startled hiss from the vampire.

Well, he couldn’t say you didn’t warn him.

@blufr0st @itsonlydana @amearla @bapthadapper @redactedsouls @sina-the-idiot @icarusthefoolish @blockyshieldmaiden @lunarheartsposts

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magicalara · 2 years ago

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The Story of Grelle the Reaper: A review by yours truly prt 2

So if you saw part 1 with the prelude hii did you get some water? Are you taking care of yourself? That was 1k words about something that itself was not even 200 and chapter 1 is like 5k words so...yeah. If you haven't seen part 1 to my review, you can find it here.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about nor what The Story of Grelle the Reaper is, then do I have a treat for you. The amazing @eemoo1o-animoo has been writing this origin story for everyone's favorite red reaper (which you can find here). My previous post was about the prelude and this one will be about Chapter 1: She Sells Seashells on the Seashore.

I will add on that I was messaging back and forth with Ell and so some of these things were what she had also brought up and made me think about so there's that too.

Add on from the Em who just finished this: this is a mess, I'm so sorry for anyone who reads this lmao

Okay so overall review, the use of word choice, the whole name thing (I’ll explain further), the dialogue, THE WEATHER, it’s all amazing. This chapter as a whole is a great first chapter to look into Grell’s general life and how he’s been living this whole time. Looking at it as someone trying to see it as a standalone as to be able to show it to a wider audience, it’s great. All the elements that make up an exposition are there. We get to know Grell as a main character as well as his father and mother as part of our main side characters. The dynamic between Grell and his parents individually is well explained and so thought out. All of my thoughts here are gonna be separated differently from the prelude so I’ll explain it now:

If you saw the last analysis, you’d know that it’s a compilation of paragraphs and pointed out quotes and that worked because of how the prelude is written like in terms of length and structure. This one is way too long to fit it all in like that so I’m gonna separate my thoughts into three sections which are named father, mother, and George as the chapter is separated into those three parts naturally already (not named that, though, that’s just what I’ve dubbed them as lol). Each section will be essentially like how I did the other one before with callouts to specific quotes but it will probably be more mixed in and in a paragraph format. Idk as of writing this if I’ll do bullet points, but we’ll find out together. Okay, on to section 1 of chapter 1!

Section 1: Father

So to kick off, I’m gonna first mention the whole name thing that I said I’d explain as well as the pronouns. Grelle, the Grelle that we know, didn’t always know that she was, well, a she. “She” was born a “he” and so chapter 1 gives us that “he”. Here we aren’t with Grelle, we’re with Grell. As such, the name not having the “e” at the end and the pronouns being he/him are very important to note. Moreover, I actually like this choice of not starting with a Grell/e that already knows who they are gender-wise. I know that first instinct would have many want to do just that, but for a formative piece like this, it wouldn’t fit. We aren’t here to see Grelle be the badass we know she is, we’re here for the angst /j.

Anyways, the use of the different versions of Grell is great and I think it’s really important to point out. I know some people may see it and be like “oh but isn’t that disrespectful” and while I am not the best representation of the trans community as a person who doesn’t even really know their own gender, I’d think it’d be disrespectful not to show Grelle as Grell. They can and do co-exist, to some degree. The erasure of one is just as bad as the erasure of the other.

Okay so I’m gonna go in order of just how the fic is written so as to not jump around too much. So the first thing I wanna point out is Grell’s body language in how he’s sitting. He’s described to be “in a much more tense and humble position, hands rubbing together like star cross’d lovers.” There is some wording here that I’m gonna pick at, first being “more…humble position”. First, there’s a power difference here. Grell isn’t in a more humble position just because he’s nervous (though that is a part of it). There’s also the fact that that’s his father and they have been in this position many times before. While I’ve never been fired from a job (knock on wood, thank god, please don’t fire me boss), I can’t imagine the part where I’d have to tell people would be very nice. Seeing how Friedrich sighed before he sat, he probably had to go get Grell too or, at the very least, was close enough to not have to be told like his mother does as mentioned in the future. That less humble position on his father’s side, though, shows who’s in charge which just further displays the power difference. We learn that this isn’t Grell’s first time losing a job later, but I’m sure that this stance has stayed the same since the first time. The nerves are just even higher now because this is just another time where Grell messed up.

The next wording I wanna point out (mainly just because I really like it) is how his hands are described as “rubbing together like star cross’d lovers”. The way that “star cross’d lovers” was spelt immediately jumped out at me and my fellow Em doesn’t do things by accident, not on desktop and not in this story. So, naturally, I looked it up. It comes from Romeo and Juliet, apparently (making a disclaimer here, I don’t like Shakespeare. I don’t like any of his works. I never have, and most likely never will. So yes, I have to look these things up. The Macbeth thing was a fluke because I had to study that god forsaken play two years in a row. Some things I know, but most I don’t so I will instead be going to our friend Google for help. Rant over, back to analyzing). I don’t think it means much story-wise, but it is a little snippet that alludes to how a lot of people think that Grelle is a Shakespeare nut, something which Ell’s notes also agree with. It’s a cute reference, I like it. When I first read it I was like “ha I see what you did there”.

Okay we’re moving on where I start the count of how many times Friedrich calls Grell “my boy” so I can comment on it later. We’re at one.

Grell’s out of work “again” (it is at this moment that this Em regrets using italics for all the quotes bc I’m hand typing them) which signifies what I already said about this not being the first time Grell’s been fired. The difference here, Grell defends himself. We aren’t told of how the other conversations may have gone, but it doesn’t take a genius to look at the words “Grell swallowed hard” and know that this is probably his first time trying to defend himself. This Grell is supposed to be a reflection of Butler Grell™ after all and Butler Grell™ was not the most confident of people let’s say. To keep with that, he also stutters while trying to say it. When I hear it in my head I also imagine that his voice is wobbly too. They don’t have the best relationship, hell they don’t even have a good one. But I’m supposed to be going in order so we’ll come back to this.

The next paragraphs are about the job that dear Grell just lost. There’s weather here, but it’s more just atmosphere things rather than emotional things (though I can argue about how it was this atmosphere that adds onto the lifeless bleak that is how Grell will get to, but I digress). Anyways so they’re (Grell and his former boss Sally Bones) working with fish and I totally understand why Grell’s feeling sick because I would be too. Don’t get me wrong, I like fish when I’m eating it, not when I’m looking at it while freshly dead. As I was reading, I literally felt myself getting nauseous along with Grell so if that was the mission, mission accomplished.

First for this part, the name Sally Bones. It sounds so generic and like something that I’ve heard a million times so I looked it up, as one does, and will now share what I found, as I do. The first thing that would come up no matter how I typed it was a character from a book series called Varjak Paw. Sally, in that context, leads, and I quote from the fan wiki, “the largest group of rogue cats in the city.” Sally Bones…cats….Sally Bones here….fish…hmmm. I don’t know if that was on purpose but if so, I like it and if not, I still like it. Sally Bones is also apparently a totem with blonde hair that people like to write in porta potties but that’s wildly off what’s happening here so there’s just a new piece of information for you.

Continuing on, the fish stuff. While Grell gets fired after seeing the harvest for fish eggs, probably salmon from what I gathered in research but it could be another kind, it’s not said what happens after. I watched a video and, again, I completely understand Grell’s being sick because just bleh. Not for me. I don’t know at the moment if this fish stuff will become important, but I’m keeping it in the back of my mind because pigs did get connected so I’m keeping fish around too.

Okay back to Grell and his father. (For those following along with the fic on another tab, we’re at “I do not care whose fault it was, Grell,”)

And actually, that’s a line I wanna bring up. This is the first of twice that Friedrich says a direct statement of holding back anger. The other time which comes later is a much bigger stretch to say, but can still be said to be out of anger, just in a much more manipulative sense. Friedrich has dealt with all of the times that Grell’s gotten fired and is said to have had to have paid for it too. He’s frustrated, I get it, I can understand where he’s coming from. One thing with Friedrich, though, is he’s a smart man. He knows his way around words and non-verbal language (which in this case relies on tone and body language). As soon as Grell tries to defend himself, Friedrich cuts him off and Grell goes right back to being small again. He remembers his place next to his father and just becomes smaller and smaller as time goes on. It’s even said specifically that Grell bows his head in an accustomed shame. He’s used to this, especially when with his father. This shame comes back in the George section, but we aren’t there yet, so I’ll leave it for then.

Add a count to the Friedrich calls Grell his son counter. And in the sentence he forgets his own son’s age *insert sarcastic woo here*. There’s not much to say, it’s just showing another way that Friedrich is showing his lack of interest with his son (his only son, as we come to learn).

We also get our first look into the development of Grelle and her want for children. Grell doesn’t know it yet, but the insinuation is there and I’m pointing it out. I know your future, Grell, you can’t hide from me.

Okay so this next part is speculation and very iffy and mainly just that Ell told me there was something here and that it starts here with Grell listing out all of the jobs that he had previously. I was told to look at the scene where Grelle is talking about Beast’s death in the anime for Book of Circus. So I did. If we’re talking about speech patterns, then that’s something that I’ll have to keep in the back of my head to see throughout the whole thing. If we’re talking story-wise and what Grelle’s saying rather than how, I’m completely lost lol. My thought process went like this if we’re talking story-wise: scullery maid (that’s what Beast’s mom was), scullery maids are the lowest of the low servants and are assistants who do laborious tasks often working for the kitchen maids and are also the youngest usually, all of Grell’s jobs have something to do with kitchens (milk, eggs, bread, pig) so maybe that’s it. Grelle also calls Beast an “ugly old sow” but I don’t think that connects to anything really other than hey look more mentions of pigs. Essentially, the two things that this could lead to (from what I’ve gathered) are just speaking patterns when it comes to listing, or scullery maid in the kitchens.

We’re not done with this paragraph, though, nope not at all. Two things, then we can move on. First, donkey’s don’t have cud. For those who don’t know, cud chewing happens when an animal's stomach sends food back to the mouth to be chewed a second time. I know that donkey’s don’t chew cud because my mother is Jewish and there are dietary restrictions and stuff and donkeys aren’t allowed to be eaten because they don’t chew cud and don’t have split hooves. So take that baker, you don’t know what you’re talking about. That, or I’m taking this too literally. Oh well…Second! The pigs are back. So Grell “really, truly hated pigs.” but also, as I pointed out in the prelude, there is pig blood on him (or I guess by then, her). Whether this will be a change in heart or profession at some point, or maybe just a murder spree, is something we’ll have to find out as we get closer to the scene from the prelude.

Okay moving on (I’m gonna try and go a bit quicker now bc we’re edging 2.5k words and haven’t moved past section two sjsjsj)! Friedrich starts heavy here with his digs of “wtf is wrong with you” type stuff, especially when he says that “it’s as if you [Grell] intend on not working at all!” Throughout the whole conversation, Friedrich talks down to Grell as if he’s a child rather than a 27 year old which I can understand to an extent but ultimately isn’t the right way to go about everything. There’s a quick interjection about Grell feeling sick again about the image of cutting into an animal to “rearrange his insides” which to me is funny considering we all know how murdery Grelle becomes. It’s with the next paragraph and the next bit of dialogue that really kicks off what I like to call manipulation (also add one to the “my boy” count).

“Not many fathers would be as pliant with you after so many years of this… this… insolence.” That line is so hard hitting because, well, it’s true. A lot of fathers would have thrown him out already; this pattern of not being able to keep jobs just would not stand. Most of all, Grell knows it. He’s nervous because of it, as his dialogue and own body language goes on to say.

Friedrich continues on with his little scolding speech and I won’t pick at every line he says but just know he goes back and forth between the blatant digs while also having that like fake niceness in between. What I will point out for those who saw it and decided not to look it up, what he’s saying in German to Grell is “Damn boy. You will be the death of your family, I know that.” This has a double meaning to it as he means, literally, the death of the family in terms of lineage as Grell is an only child with still no heir of his own and, figuratively, the death of the family if he can’t get his shit together.

We continue on with Friedrich trying to just be like “yeah, we’ll find you something, it’ll be great.” but Grell, having gone through this cycle many times already, doesn’t display the body language that he obviously wants from his child. Grell purposefully makes himself small. Granted, Grell isn’t a very confident person regardless and would probably have issues with generally any and everything he came to do. Word choice I wanna point out here is that Grell is trying to make himself “small and remorseful”. The “remorseful” part specifically makes me think that part of this is Grell playing it up so that this conversation can finally be over and done with. I think that Friedrich picks up on this too which is why he goes in deep and says that he’ll kick Grell out of the house. They say that eyes are the window to the soul, but that “gentle” look in Friedrich’s eyes, I don’t buy it. Does he probably have good intentions inside, yeah, of course he does, that’s his son, his only child. But uh all those scenarios where Grell’s imagining his father throwing him out? Horrendous behavior right there. That tells me a bit differently.

AND THEN HE KEEPS GOING!! Friedrich pulls the “I’m only doing what’s best for you.” card!! And then he goes on and continues to repeat the “not everyone would be like this yk” bullshit and as someone who’s heard the whole “you should be grateful” speech many times, it’s not a tactic of motivation. It’s a tactic of manipulation. Friedrich is manipulative and this is a hill I will die on.

But the conversation moves on and Friedrich dismisses Grell to the kitchen to deliver the news to his mother. The way that Friedrich tells him is absolutely criminal in my opinion, but whatever, I’ve gone off enough about how my initial reactions to this man aren’t positive.

So before I move on to section 2 (omg we’re almost there, it’s real), there are two things I wanna go over. First, the name Friedrich. The rough meaning of it is “peaceful ruler” and the name was first given to a bishop. The last part “ric” can also mean power. He has power over Grell as his father. You see what I’m doing here. Just wanted to say. Also I was told by Ell that Friedrich is a first generation immigrant and that his original last name was Schadenklippe. So I googled the name. I got nothing lol. The page was blank. So I googled it separately. “Schaden” means damage in German and “Klippe” means cliff, so that was a start. Schaden is a verb for doing harm or causing damage. So he causes damage to Grell there, boom, analysis over thank you for coming. No, but, I’m just saying because I had this info given to me so I might as well overthink it.

The other thing is what separates the sections as they naturally are from each other. If you’re on desktop, you might not be able to see it, I know I couldn’t until I was on mobile. But it’s a record. A cinematic record, if you will. If you don’t understand the implications of that then I’ll give you a minute…got it? No? I’m telling you anyway: we’re watching Grelle’s records. This is a confirmed fact Ell confirmed it so it’s real. There was also a possible joke made that this is like Eric who’s watching it which would mean that Eric would have been the one to have reaper Grelle which is like to me the best thing ever. But it could’ve been a joke. Ell is cruel like that with me as I am simply just a lowly puppet on the strings which her big brain is holding up /j (the big brain part, though, that’s true y’all they’ve got some serious brain power).

But this FINALLY leaves us at the end of section 1. Onto section 2 which will be hopefully shorter for your sakes and mine.

Section 2: Mother

Okay I’m gonna try to not make this as long as section 1 was let’s see how well we fare.

First thing’s first, Ell revealed to me Grell’s mother’s name and is allowing me to use it here. Her name is *drum roll* Hilary. So the name Hilary means cheerful or happy and the Greek origins of the name come from the word for gracious. In other words, Hilary is not sad and will be giving us wholesome moments :D until they’re not wholesome anymore, of course, because we all know where this fic is ending up eventually and with all the scenes that Ell has alluded to me about…yeah that’s all I’m gonna say.

So uh remember how I mentioned the weather? Yeah well there wasn’t really any weather in the last section but there is now! It is sunny and nice(ish) out and sunshine means happy times are afoot. Which kinda makes sense considering how Hilary’s name means happiness, after all. The sun is usually used to show positivity and life in literature. Keep this weather in mind as it is here, it really helps set the atmosphere.

Next thing to point out (this is where I’m back to going in order for those following with the fic I’m right after Hilary asking Grell if he thinks the sun will stay out) Grell is a momma’s boy. Rather than tell her the truth which would probably make her sad, he holds out hope that the sun will stay out. This is the first instance of momma’s boy Grell, we see more as it goes on.

So now we’re at the inevitable confrontation. Hilary suggests a celebration for Grell’s job which she doesn’t know he lost yet. The way that she talks about things is just so much different from how Friedrich does, specifically when talking to Grell. I know that the contexts are different; he’s essentially scolding for losing another job while she’s blissfully unaware, but even just the way that Grell mentions how Hilary might react if Friedrich did kick him out shows that she’s most definitely the less harsh of the two parents. Hilary exudes warmth, that’s what I’m trying to say, basically.

I wanna mention an analogy that I forgot to mention here because I think it’s a beautiful way of putting her ignorance and hope: “...suddenly the kitchen felt warm as she smiled at the thought, wrapping the notion in a handkerchief and putting it in her lunchbox of faith.” This is technically about Hilary hoping the sun stays out, but I think it has a deeper meaning in the end. Hilary likes to keep hope out for things, she’s positive about situations, even little ones like the sun staying out. This extends to how she most likely views Grell and his whole, to put it lightly, inability to do much. She wraps the notion of hope in a handkerchief and puts it in her lunchbox of faith. She loves her son, and there’s nothing that’d change that and if something does change that I will start to cry (/hj).

So Grell’s trying to tell his mother, whom he loves so much, that he lost yet another job. And he just can’t do it. He can’t look at the woman he loves most in this world at that moment and tell her that he disappointed the family again. Looking at the comparison of their hands, a mother who loves her son and a son who loves his mother, Grell just can’t bring it to him to tell her. I like the comparison of their hands. 10 PM Em who had a day full of going to a party and so. many. errands. who I know for a fact won’t go back and edit this can’t tell you why, but know that I do.

A lot of this section is just kinda setting up Grell and his momma, particularly Hilary. Her ability to find the positives and be blissfully ignorant, whether from her own will to ignore the bad or just true ignorance to reality, is a contrast from the realist and literal person that is her husband. Grell might have gotten his smarts from his father, but you can tell that a lot of his personality most likely comes from his mother rather. Sure he might not have the childlike wonder or the ignorance, but he has the compassion and empathy, even if we’ve only seen it with his mother up to this point.

There are mentions of birds as well (for those following along we’re at the paragraph which starts “Oh, aren’t they lovely?”), specifically blue and coal tits. Spiritually, the blue tit represents happiness. It can also be an omen of love on the way as it represents love and trust as well. It can even represent the arrival of a bright future. This can be symbolic to how Grell’s future may play out. While we fans of Kuro already know what’s going to eventually happen, and we know it is much less than happiness, I think that there will be pieces of happiness before the fall. In order to fall from a great height, one has to get to that height in the first place, after all. Alternatively, we could ignore the happiness and omens of love and take it solely for the bright future which could be symbolic of her future as a reaper. It’s another fall from a great height, buuuttt, Grelle as a reaper seems to be really good at her job. Sure, William might chastise her for being lazy, but he does the same to Ronald and we know that he’s also a pretty competent reaper. Grelle gets what she needs to do and is a strong reaper, able to go against who is probably the strongest reaper we know of in the series, the Undertaker. Grell has a bright future ahead once he figures out who he really is as Grelle and in the profession of a grim reaper, both which are symbolized by the blue tit. Similarly, robins, which are also mentioned, can represent a myriad of things such as the arrival of new beginnings, redemption, and happiness. Once again, this can be symbolizing an ascension before the fall or Grelle in the future. I’m leaning more towards future Grelle because of the whole new beginnings part, but that’s up to the reader. There are other tits mentioned but I couldn’t find anything about them so we’re leaving it with the blue tit and robin.

With all the beautiful birds, there’s also one that’s mentioned to be disfigured and ugly. Despite that, Hilary still wants to help it out. I want to say that this bird is supposed to represent Grell, in a way. Compared to all the other men his age, he’s disfigured. He doesn’t have a stable job (let alone a job in the first place), a family of his own, not even a wife or girlfriend at the very least. Compared to the rest of society, he’s disfigured. Despite that, his mother still wants the best and wants to help him. All of this feels like foreshadowing to me, but I could be reading into things just way too much. We’ll see as more comes out.

Part 2 and 3 of Grell being a momma’s boy, he cuts the bread for her and later on goes to make a list of groceries for her rather than having her write it herself so he can go get some things that are needed. Hilary has a form of arthritis and so this is just another way that he can help look after her. He’s a good son and I love them so much, they’re so cute. It is a little worrying that it’s mentioned that it shouldn’t be as bad as it is given the time of year, but I’m going to brush over it for now and just keep it in mind for later.

There’s mention of a baker, Hargroves, but I doubt that he’s going to be too important so I won’t do much with him. (His name means “from the hare’s grove”) All that the paragraph really reveals is just more about Hilary’s personality and kindness as she would refuse free food, even from a friend/referenced past lover.

The last thing I wanna point out is the last phrase “sweet in gesture, bitter in procedure.” which is in reference to a kiss that Hilary gives Grell before he leaves to go get the stuff. Like I said before with the hands, 10 PM Em can’t say what and if I figure it out while I sleep I'll come back and edit this and if this is still here, know that I forgot. Okay? Okay. From what I can say right now in my state, Grell loves his mom and so the gesture is sweet, however all the underlying things that he never said or made known makes the whole thing bitter. I’m probably wrong, but that’s what I got.

Section 3: George

Last section woooo! Can you tell I’m losing my mind?

First thing’s first, the weather. It’s back to being grey and gloomy out. This grey and gloomy is probably going to be a recurring thing, not just because that’s the weather in Cornwall but also because it’s symbolism for Grell’s overall being. It’s like how in the prelude it was storming while Grelle was killing herself and how it’s much warmer and sunshiny with Hilary. Grell is just overall grey right now, and the weather reflects that.

The chapter opens with more Grell and Hilary bonding moments from the past and it’s cute, they’re cute, we know this. He’s helping her with her handwriting and we’ve seen Grelle’s handwriting in one of the chapters (I can’t remember which) but it looked really nice so it makes sense that he’d want to help. Hilary also apparently knew a lot of what was going on, which is like cool to me.

Quality control is here now everyone I went to sleep and now it’s the next day and I can properly think. For those wondering, no I’m not going back and editing the previous portions. I think it’s funny to see me descending into madness because I’m weak and can’t stay up past like 11 PM on a good day and function. I’m more functioning now, let’s continue.

So we’re gonna talk hair now because that’s where I left off. I tried looking up the significance of long hair on men in cultures, but I don’t think that that’s where anything is going to connect. Rather, the long hair is significant to Grell/e themselves. When Grell, there isn’t really a reason for him to have his hair long. In the late 18th century, it was commonplace (mainly in the 1780s) for men to lightly powder their hair, but by the 1790s, it was really only something that the older men did. Considering that it’s outright stated that Grell doesn’t like (or at least isn’t fond of) his hair, he doesn’t have a reason to have it long. Honestly, I just thought that Butler Grelle (who this Grell is based off of) had their (?? idk what pronouns to use for Butler Grelle I’m just gonna use they/them) hair long because it would’ve been easier for Grelle herself, but I digress. It doesn’t seem like Grell’s ever had his hair really short, so the fact that he does can either be a surface level keeping his mother (who does seem to like it) happy or a deeper subconscious where it kinda feels right but he can’t figure out why and he doesn’t like it but can’t part with it. Then again, we do know that Grelle has her hair short in the OVA and so the long hair could eventually be cut down to that length to show her moving on from her past, as the cutting of hair usually symbolizes the end of a chapter in life. That one’s probably the most probable.

So now we get into the meat of this section where George and unnamed other man friend of George come across Grell while he’s out. Grell is not ready for this interaction, obviously, and I won’t lie, I was kinda scared reading this part. At first I thought they were gonna be like mean and not friendly at all, which isn’t completely the case. They’re just people who know Friedrich.

George and unnamed man kind of take the whole time to just talk about Grell as if he isn’t right there in front of them. They talk about the struggle to get a job, what he looks like, the fact that he’s pretty quiet (not even saying a word the whole conversation), and even talking about Hilary right there in front of him.

The main reason that Grell doesn’t speak is because of a) the discomfort he’s feeling and b) the overwhelming anxiety coursing through him. He’s become very aware of the fact that his father talks about him and goes through a mess of thoughts as he overthinks it all. In fact, he overthinks everything that’s said to him, a testament to his horrible confidence in himself. Anyways so I’m gonna pick apart what they say about Grell now so bullet point time!

“Your father tells us you’re struggling to get a job.”

Friedrich talks about Grell during his work. We never get clarity on exactly who George and Co. are to him, but it’s people who at the very least have known him for long enough to have known of Grell since he was somewhat younger and have interacted with Friedrich in the near past. Either way, Friedrich talks about Grell during work or just while out and so yeah.

The whole looks like his mother or father thing

When being described as looking similar to his mother, Grell’s happy and gets a genuine blush. At this moment here, before realizing that “he” might not be “him” after all, Grell’s just happy to be compared to his mother in a positive light. He’s described as feeling “lighter” and that it feels like the sun has come out (more weather symbolism where sunshine = happiness = Hilary). Then George says that he’s more like his father and Grell just deflates. There was a post that Ell had reblogged about this scenario too that I connected to this and that one gets to a more subconscious level. Basically, it’d be that Grell liked being compared to his mother over his father because it means that he’s seen in a more feminine way which, as a mtf trans person, would be ideal.

There’s the misunderstanding with Grell shaking his head at his own thoughts and George and Co. thinking he means otherwise, but there isn’t really anything there besides him (Grell) almost speaking but getting interrupted in the end

George and Co. talking about Hilary also doesn’t have much to say except that Grell got somewhat visibly upset

“broad-buckled and like a cryptid he remained.”

This is another way to show Grell not being confident. A lot of times, people will feel huge and like a monster when they don’t fit in (and use it as a reason why they wouldn’t fit in). I’m explaining it poorly, but the best most recent place I can remember it being used is in Taylor Swifts’ MV for Antihero (I think, don’t quote me on that, it’s one of the recent ones) where she’s much bigger sitting in a dining room. The lyrics reflect it as well when she sings “Sometimes, I feel like everybody is a sexy baby/And I’m a monster on the hill”. The feeling is similar to that

“Friedrich said that was his namesake, aye.”

The name Grell means “rough angry.” I have no idea what they’re talking about. But okay.

There’s more to this, but I feel like we need more info on Friedrich in order to make the connection (or at least, I need more info) so it’s another thing going to the back of the mind.

“Have you taken a liking to the family profession, yet, lad?”

Irony. Grell doesn’t like the “visceral mutilation” of his father’s profession. Grelle does. She even finds a wife out of it (Redcliff supremacy idc). It is nice that Friedrich at the very least never pushed Grell into going into the medical business, only using it as a last resort or empty threat, but I still don’t like him very much right now.

Okay we’re at the end now so back to paragraphs. We’re just at where they say that it’s a shame that Grell doesn’t follow in Friedrich’s footsteps as he is a great man. Grell can’t imagine having a similar life as his father as a husband and father himself; it makes him sick to do so, enough to rush away. He states how he’d never feel a true connection with his imaginary kids and it sickens him. Grell does not want to be the man nor person his father is or ever would be. Grell doesn’t want the family (kinda), he doesn’t want the wife he pretends to love, he doesn’t want the strained relationship with his kids. He doesn’t like it, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The only thing wrong here is the expectation that that’s what he needs to succeed. As a person who doesn’t want nor has ever wanted kids of my own, I can relate to the kids part. Constantly I get told that I’ll change my mind when I’m older and I have a partner of my own who does want kids, but I know that that will never happen. Kids aren’t needed to be successful, and neither is a proper family. Unfortunately, the stereotypical family man of the late 1700s is what’s expected of Grell and so he can’t really promote his thinking of otherwise, especially when he’s the one carrying the family reputation in a sense.

~~~

If my over 6k word analysis is to say anything, let it be this, this story is filled with so many things that I love and can’t wait to see where it goes. I’m gonna start a taglist for this, so if you wanna be added, tell me and I’ll add you. And let me know what you all think of my ideas as well or share any ideas you may have!! Comments and asks are open so please, I love talking about this and as the appointed co-number one fan and analyzer, talk to me about it and I will love you forever. Okay that’s all I’m gonna go take a fat nap now haha. Until next chapter!

Taglist: @hobbit-in-kuroshitsuji @superjelly11

#the story of grelle the reaper #tsogtr #em's analysis #em's recs #em's obsessions #kuroshitsuji #kuroshitsuji grelle #kuroshitsuji grell #black butler #black butler grelle #black butler grell #grelle sutcliff #grell sutcliff #analysis #fic analysis

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makeste · 3 years ago

Text

BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.

so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can

OMG FLASHBACK??

yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions

oh dear

Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE

EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES

???

RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!

ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us

?? ??????? ?????????????????????

so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol

OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!

A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that

-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect

LMAO

WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”

oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime

blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI

“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh

“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”

“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier

LSDKFJLSDKJFLK

“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI

(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)

so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”

and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”

“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas

dsfaelkjldkjgl

you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??

this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed

“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim

anyway so back to the unruly mob

not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap

oh wow the parents are out here too

is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys

MONOMA

so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this

anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/

it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”

so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez

OH MY GOD

MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED

OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT

truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand

“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao

(ETA:

WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)

“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason

narrator: they did not listen to reason

oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE

hmm

this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol

(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)

oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively

“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako

lol uh

gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off

SDLFKJSL

“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”

so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH

OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY

not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that

-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!

sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech

never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him

THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK

“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth

so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol

#bnha 323 #uraraka ochako #rat principal #class 1-a #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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lucianinsanity · 3 years ago

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Favorite mug

He pressed his hands against his eyes. The work was heavy and annoying, organizing everything, numbers after numbers after numbers. The dates and details mixing with each other after reading them again and again, checking for inconsistency. After a while his eyes just couldn't understand the words, his brain refused to register the symbols in front of him as any kind of language. But he had to continue, he didn't want to leave the place like that. His anger about the mess gave him a little burst of energy that he used to read the last paragraph of the statement and reject it as a fake, letting his head fall in his desk right after.

The sound of the door opening made him sit properly again. He looked up to see who it was and let his head fall in his hands again after recognizing Martin. The man looked at him from behind the door, unsure if he could enter or not. He looked up and nodded. Martin got close to his desk and placed a mug in front of him, the smell was good, hot and sweet.

- I just thought you would like some tea, that was all, see you later - Martin said with his anxious way of talking. He wanted to tell him he didn't bite but decided against it because of his headache. He couldn't say "thank you" or protest against it, Martin left while he was looking at the mug.

That wasn't his mug. His mug was a light purple with a drawing of two cats playing with each other, and the handle was big so he could put most of his fingers through it, making it easier to drink from it. This mug was small, of a weird dark green and the handle was thin and small, he doubted he could just grab it with his whole hand. He resented the mug. He was getting more and more upset just by looking at it. Still, the tea smelled good and he wasn't going to waste it.

His day was already a mess. All the things he had to organize and all the fake statements, he was tired. Drinking from that mug didn't make his day better. The tea was good, he liked it, the sweetness was just perfect and he didn't burn himself drinking it. The only problem was the mug. He couldn't concentrate on the tea while drinking from it. He wanted to tell Martin to never put that thing in front of him ever again. He just had to think how exactly to do that without sounding like an asshole.

Thinking about the mug, the (absolutely perfect) tea and how to tell Martin that he would never touch that thing again even if they pay him to do it, he made his way into the kitchen. He didn't like the mug but he wasn't going to leave it dirty. Slowly, he washed the awful mug and dried it to put it back into the drawers or shelf, or wherever that thing used as storage for it's awfulness. He looked around the kitchen, thinking maybe he could hide it forever without anyone noticing.

- Oh! You finished it! You could have told me, I can wash the mug if you are busy, you know? - The sudden voice behind him made him jump, loosing his grip on the handle of the mug, that fell to the ground and shattered (that's why his mug was better, such a bad handle) - Oh, I didn't, I didn't mean to scare you, sorry, I'll get the broom - Martin looked at the shattered mug with so much guilt in his eyes, he felt bad for feeling so relieved.

- Don't be so sorry, I hated that mug anyways - He said, maybe a little bit too dry, maybe.

- Oh? I didn't know, sorry - Why did he sound so worried about that? Yeah, it was an awful, horrible, unbearable mug, but it was just a mug after all.

- It's nothing, I just had a mug that I always use and it was just different - he started to look around for the broom too. The shattered mug between the two of them was starting to feel bad.

- So...which one is your mug then? - Martin voice sounded small, like he didn't know if he was supposed to have that knowledge. - I mean, only if you still want tea, you don't have to...

- The one with the cats, it's easier to hold - he interrupted, he didn't like having to tell he was using that mug, but he didn't want another like that one again. - So I won't drop it if you appear out of nowhere again.

Martin laughed at this last sentence. He smiled back, at least he wasn't going to have that problem again. The broom wasn't far away either. Martin cleaned the whole kitchen floor, to make sure he didn't miss any piece of it. They both went back to do their respective jobs after that.

The next time Martin decided to bring him tea he placed his mug in the desk. This time nothing could distract him of how well made the tea was.

#tma #writing #luci an's writing #tma fanfic #the magnus archives #the magnus Archives fanfic #tma the Magnus archives #Jonathan Sims #jon sims #jarchavist #jon tma #tma jon #Martin tma #tma martin #martin blackwood #the magnus institute #tma s1 #jonmartin #writblr

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peachhcs · 4 years ago

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Love Languages Pt. 2

Pairing: Luke Patterson x reader

Summary: Pt.2 to Luke asking you what Love Languages are

Warnings: talk of drinking and cheating but that’s it

Word Count: 1.6k

Here is part two that you all have been asking for! I deeply apologize for how long it took me to get this up, school is really kicking my butt. I have a bunch of people asking to be on my taglist and I’m currently in the works of making one so comment or reblog or something telling me you want to be on my taglist! Make sure you specifiy for my series or for small blurbs/oneshots like this or both!

Thank you so much for the amazing feedback! I love the comments and y’all are so amazing!

I’m not sure if this will have a part 3?? but let me know if you want one haha. I won’t be tagging anyone in this because my tags got lost in my notifications, so if you want to be tagged again, make sure you read above! :)

PART 1

* * *

You didn’t mean to avoid Luke, it just kind of happened. Junior Year was no joke and it felt like every night and every weekend you had piles of homework to get done, so you sort of drifted from going to Julie’s house everyday. She didn’t mind, she understood just as much and kept you updated on how the band was doing. However, you still felt guilty for avoiding the boys. You were worried that Luke would think he scared you away by touching you, but you were feeling the exact opposite. You wanted to explore more and find out more but here you were, in your room at 12am trying to finish this nagging essay that was due in 8 hours.

You felt your eyelids growing heavy but you shook your head, trying to keep yourself awake. The 3 monster drinks on your nightstand said enough about how much you were trying to keep yourself awake. You had 2 paragraphs left but you knew you were at a losing battle with yourself. The way your eyes were just glazing over at this point and rereading the same sentence over and over was becoming a very evident indication that you needed sleep. Before you could even think about quitting for the night, there was a noise from the side of your room and a grunt. Your eyes quickly darted over to where the noise came from and there stood Luke with that magenta pull over that you really liked.

“Luke?” His eyes quickly darted over to you, clearly surprised to still see you awake.

“Y/n..hey..” He started and you pushed your laptop away to give him your full attention.

“What are you..doing here?..” You weren’t really sure why he was here and you felt a small bit of tension in the room from avoiding him for the past few weeks.

“I uh..came to see you..” His voice was small and you pushed your eyebrows together in confusion.

“At 12 in the morning?..” You knew ghosts didn’t really sleep but it was still a strange sight to see Luke in your bedroom this late at night.

“Yup..” He trails off and pushes his glance down to the floor. You raised your eyebrow, knowing he wasn’t telling you the whole truth. You two were still best friends after all, so you could read him like an open book.

“Luke, seriously. What are you doing here?” You ask trying to push an answer out of him. He finally meets your gaze again and you see his small expression on his face.

“Why have you been avoiding me?”

You blinked a few times at his bluntness. This time you were the one to avoid his gaze. You picked at your fingernails slightly, knowing Luke was watching you and waiting for an answer.

“I don't mean too.. School’s been tough and stuff.” You say cringing at how lame that sounded even though it was true. Luke stayed silent for a moment, trying to decide if you were lying to him or not. You avoided his eyes and kept your glance locked on the floor.

“Did I do something wrong? Did I overstep by touching you? I didn’t mean to scare you or anything..” Luke trails off and you frown. You quickly shake your head to tell him no.

“No, no, no. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve just been really swamped with homework..” You grimace to yourself for coming back to your really lame excuse. You watch as Luke steps a little closer, testing the waters. When you don’t object to him moving closer, he takes a slow seat on your bed beside you.

“You look tired..” He points out, gently reaching to touch your cheek. It warms both of your bodies as your skin makes contact. His hands were..warm..and comforting. You weren’t sure what you expected but it definitely wasn't this. Who knew ghosts were warm?

“I told you I’ve been swamped with homework.” You chuckle and this time Luke chuckles along with you. He gently pulls his hand away and folds them into his lap. You stare down at your feet for a few moments trying to figure out what to say next. This felt like completely new territory the two of you were exploring and by the energy and growing tension in the room; this was a little bit scary.

“Do you think you know..why we can..touch?” You ask hesitantly. Julie was filling you in here and there at school, but it wasn’t much and they didn’t seem to come up with anything as to why you had the “powers” too.

“No..it’s still all confusing. We think Julie’s mom has something to do with us being connected to Julie but we don’t know about you.” Luke says, side eyeing you and you weren’t sure if that was a hint for you to talk about your past or not.

You didn’t really open up about your past. No one had ever really asked so you never really talked. Julie knew a little bit, she knew that your mom and dad fought a lot and you didn’t like being at home that much, but that was about it. You didn’t talk about it further than that, so when you could feel Luke trying to dig into your past more, you shrugged.

“My parents don’t talk much about stuff. I don’t know.” You say, keeping it short and simple. Luke frowns a little at your answer, but he knows not to push so he doesn’t. The two of you sit in more silence beside one another. You picked at your finger nails while Luke’s eyes travelled around your room.

“I ran out on my mom. She didn’t believe in my dream and though dropping out of high school was the worst possible idea. We got into a fight and I ran out. That was the last time I saw her face to face. I died before I could make amends with her.” You glance at Luke, surprised at his openness. Even though you guys were best friends, talking about stuff like this was kind of off limits. The memory hurt too much so you never talked about at home, parent problems.

“Wow..I’m sorry. That must have been hard on both of you.” You admit and Luke nods.

“It was, but Julie helped me make amends with them last year.” Luke smiles a little and you smile too. You knew his little story was a play to get you to start talking so you took in a little breath.

“My dad cheated on my mom a few years ago with..a few other women. My mom keeps trying to make excuses for him to keep him around. They fight a lot because my dad doesn’t want to stay but my mom keeps pushing it. They’re both pretty heavy drinkers, too. It’s not a very good mix.” You explain. It felt weird to say it out loud, but it also felt nice to talk about it with someone.

“I’m really sorry, Y/n. I can’t imagine how difficult that is.” Luke empathizes but you only shrug.

“It’s a good thing Julie let’s me come over so much. She’s been there for me for it all and I really love her for that.” You say, smiling at the thought of Julie’s friendship. You really couldn’t ask for a better best friend to get through it all.

“Yeah, Julie’s really great. She does it all.” Luke laughs and you nod in agreement. More silence fills in between you two but it was comfortable silence. This time you lean your head on Luke’s shoulder and he pulls his arm around you to bring you closer. You could feel the tension slowly fading away. Sometimes all it took was one meaningful conversation to break the barrier.

“Oh yeah, I saw these on my way over here and I thought you might like them.” Luke smiles and you watch as he digs into his pocket before pulling out a small bouquet of those pretty Aster flowers. You sit up a little, instantly recognizing them. They were your grandma’s favorite before she passed away when you were little.

“Asters?” You ask and Luke glances at you a little surprised.

“Is that what they’re called? They’re really pretty.” Luke smiles and hands them to you. You smile, smelling them and instantly getting that fresh scent of your grandma’s house.

“They are very pretty. Thank you.” You smile warmly and Luke smiles again.

“Yeah, you’re welcome. They just reminded me of you.” Luke says and you chuckle. That was something your grandma had said to you a lot.

“You should probably get going. It’s getting late and the boys are probably wondering where you are.” You chuckle, glancing at how much later it had gotten and you still had to wake up for school the next morning.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. I’ll see you at Julie’s tomorrow?” Luke stands up and sends you a hopeful glance. You chuckle and nod a yes.

“Yeah, see you there, Patterson.” Luke smiles at your response. You watch as he hesitates to leave for a moment and you’re about to question him when in one quick motion he plants a kiss on your cheek before poofing out.

You sit there, a little stunned, before allowing a small blush to creep its way onto your cheeks. You got up to put your flowers in your little vase on your desk. It added a nice touch to your room. If Luke hadn’t come in to make you more alert, you would have missed it. On your desk by the vase was a small piece of paper with writing on it. Upon examining it further, it was one of the last notes your grandma had written to you before she passed away. You thought you had lost that somewhere in your numerous papers, but there it was, front and center on your desk.

I will be with you, today, tomorrow, and forever. You just have to look for the signs - Grandma

#julie and the phantoms #japt #japt luke #japt cast #alex japt #reggie japt #julie molina #love #angst #luke patterson #luke patterson x reader #luke patterson x y/n #flynn jatp #ray japt #luke patterson imagine #willie japt #fanfiction

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pissjesus · 2 years ago

Text

I posted 10,013 times in 2022

613 posts created (6%)

9,400 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@electoons

@oingo-my-boingo

@huey-louie-and-the-deweys

@sonderingtrashcompactor

@yellowginghamdream

I tagged 4,500 of my posts in 2022

#art - 942 posts

#gorillaz - 830 posts

#murdoc - 426 posts

#2d - 382 posts

#self rb - 256 posts

#asks - 253 posts

#noodle - 222 posts

#russell - 204 posts

#mp100 - 145 posts

#plastickatz - 144 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#sometimes i like to play dumb and pretend i don’t know what they’re talking about until they’re exasperatedly explaining common knowledge

My Top Posts in 2022:

Murdoc getting motion sick in 2d's body because he's so tall. Getting absolutely humbled by what he looks like from 2d's POV.

2D’s POV for the last 25 years

144 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

I couldn’t go to bed until I made this

146 notes - Posted May 9, 2022

Noodle being multilingual opens up so many missed opportunities to be funny. Like

• The other members can understand Japanese pretty well but only Russel speaks it. Despite Murdoc and 2D still being able to understand it, Russel and Noodle talk about Murdoc and 2D right in front of them

“Baka mitai”

“I know what that means!”

• Murdoc and Noodle arguing in public, and Noodle tries to keep it somewhat private by speaking Japanese but Murdoc just loudly responds in English anyway

“Anata wa urusa sugimasu”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM TOO LOUD?”

• I headcanon Murdoc as being conversational in Spanish but his pronunciation is dogshit, so alternatively, if they’re both trying to keep their argument private, she speaks Japanese and he responds in Spanish but with a British accent, and everyone around them is like “?????”

• The band goes to Japan in phase 1 and the whole time they have to have to be led around by a 10 year old. Restaurants get a call to place a reservation from the tiny voice of a little girl and then when they show up she’s chaperoning 3 grown men

• Murdoc asks Noodle how to say things in other languages so he can hit on people when they’re in other countries and she gives him completely wrong answers so he either gets laughed at or slapped

• They do an interview in a different country and Noodle doesn’t care to properly translate so she turns Murdoc’s rambling paragraphs into a single sentence and he’s like “that’s not what I said >:[“

• In turn, she curses people out in Japanese and when they’re like “what did she say?” The other members are like “she said she’s sorry and we’ll get out of your way”

• She mixes Japanese with British isms and vice versa, i.e. “Soto wa atsui, innit?”/“It’s hot outside desu ne?”

• She accidentally pronounces a Japanese word in a horribly British way when she’s switching between the two and has a brief identity crisis

• She’s writing something super long and when she’s finally finished she reads it over and realizes she’s written it in 5 different languages

• Someone asks her a question and catches her off guard and she responds in Russian. Why the fuck did she respond in Russian?

147 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

Well then (x)

152 notes - Posted July 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

331 notes - Posted July 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Humbling

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jj-ktae · 4 years ago

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Note I - Ionones -

Moodboard : Courtesy of the lovely Jacqueline @jaebeomsmullet ! Thank you for helping and hyping and just being here whenever I need it.

› Title : Fragrances › Genre : Angst, Fluff, Romance, Composer!Jungkook x Perfume Maker!Reader › Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x Female Reader › Warning : Mentions of Suicide, heavy subjects, depression (none of these are used with the idea of glamourising mental illness), strong language, smut in later chapters probably. Do not read if any of these trigger you.

› Author’s note : This is another version of the story I wrote a few years ago for GOT7. Some of the events will be different, others will not change just like some paragraphs will be the same and others won’t. Informations, definitions and words are taken from this website.

› Summary : In the world of Perfume making, it is believed that everyone has their own natural fragrance. It is also believed that everyone has that one scent capable of making them feel a thousand things. You find yours in the form of a composer on the verge of breaking, right when you have to face one of the biggest challenge in your life.

Masterlist | Note I - Ionones | Note II : Aldehydes

________

Note I: Ionones

Violets and Iris depend on this group of highly valued synthetic chemicals. Used in small amounts in many floral, green, woody perfumes. Although this group of chemicals is dominated by just two chemicals "Ionone" and "Methyl Ionone" there are many, many isomers and qualities available that give different odour profiles from fruity - violet - green to iris. An important function is they act as blenders in a perfume helping the perfume to smell harmonious. It is also interesting to note that the nose quickly fatigues when smelling Ionones and the smell appears to fade. This same effect is found when smelling natural Violet flowers.

You are going back home the first time you meet him. It takes a nanosecond for the feeling to hit you straight in the bones. It forces your steps to slow down and stiffens your muscles right in the middle of the streets. You think for a minute, contemplative and in awe. Nothing about his physical appearance strikes you at first, it’s your nose doing all the job. It’s overwhelming, and so very rare it can’t be ignored. You come across this type of person once in your life as they say, causing an overwhelming feeling you never pegged as being so entrancing. It brings back memories from times you thought were forgotten, makes you want to scream and laugh. He is leaning on the bridge’s safety barrier and he doesn’t see the way you’re frozen behind him, blinking. You have never met him but it feels like you’ve known him forever.

You almost forget about your dear bed for a minute, but your phone tears you out of your adoration and you snap, your pace fastening before the man can turn around. It is hard to say if he was able to see you, and you don’t want to go away but you’re aware it might seem weird so you just keep on walking. Your body revives and your heart slows when the air turns evanescent.

You’re at home when your phone rings again, which pulls an annoyed groan out of your mouth. “What?” you mumble, plopping on the sofa in desperation.

“You need to come to the meeting tomorrow morning.” Your boss’ voice feels like a scratch on broken glass and you wince, unpleased “they want you to be here, and we have to make sure they’ll work with us.” He adds to soften you.

“I’m never invited to these and I like it better that way, why tomorrow?”

“It’s a big brand, I want them to see who is going to be in charge of their perfume. They don’t want to talk with managers. They don’t care. I promised you holidays and I swear once this is over you’ll have it. Please.”

The headache is pounding yet you sigh, defeated. You can’t reject this, you’re in no position to do that.

“I’ll be here.” You sigh, his relief now evident yet adding to your misery.

He is beaming on the phone, rushing thanks and stuttering, probably because of what seems to be a big, juicy contract. Exciting. His voice is way too loud when he wishes you a good night, leaving you with the deafening silence once he hangs up.

Being a composer is your job. You’re often called a perfume-composer, a perfume maker or even a perfumer and all of these are fine with you. It all explains the same thing; you use your nose to put scents together and create a perfume. You usually work with a tight schedule and precise requests, leaving you with generic projects. They involve what you call capitalist perfumes, targeted and produced for masses instead of harmony. Nowadays perfumes are for ‘suave’, ‘sexy’, ‘dynamic’ or even ‘active’ people. They’re best-sellers, perfumes you smell in the streets, shops, public transport, elevators. They’re repetitive and senseless. What used to be something exciting is now boring and dull.

You’re even starting to be disgusted by some of your creations.

And it’s for a good reason. People do not buy perfume according to their own smell. It’s something that is barely exploited by the companies, the probability of not selling in mass too counterproductive to bother explaining why some perfumes are not suited to everyone. You see it in the stores, how vendors spray anyone willing to be perfumed. These places became a hotchpotch of scents and it gets to your nose so easily it hurts.

You are able to distinguish a lot of different scents, and this is your job. Mixing stuff, looking for new elements, blend oils, this is what you love about making perfume. Your sensitive nose had made you choose a career surrounded by a farandole of fragrances, and while it may sound like a horrible life, it was what had helped you survive the probability of a boring job surrounded by horrible coworkers. It’s a solace so unusual and mysterious that you can selfishly appreciate its beauty and complexity on your own.

But now, you find yourself doubting as you peak at your neat organ*, brown and rustic. You didn’t sign for tasteless nights and headaches.

Going to sleep is hard that night, when your brain can’t forget about this man and his scent, his oh so perfect scent which you have yet to put a finger on. You finally forget about him and your brain turns off, while another person is going back home, head heavy and mind lost.

Jungkook throws his bag on his table and goes on the floor, silent.

He wasn’t able to end his life, again.

It’s hard to believe that you are currently meeting with a famous brand directly. Most of the time, they would meet your managers and you’d have a project sent over your way, leaving you a mere two weeks to work on a foolish project with foolish requests.

Today you are in shock though, because they are asking you what you want to do. It’s the first time you get asked about this and it frightens you, it scares the hell out of you when you suddenly have too much freedom. All ideas evaporate, like you have no taste and no dreams for a perfect perfume.

The woman’s stilettos make too much noise on the floor, and she speaks in a slow and irritating manner, like you’re too stupid to understand her request. She comes closer and you smile, weakly. It’s a mix between pain and fear, it looks like she is about to eat you up. Maybe it is because you look like a deer caught in headlights. “I’m asking you about your plans concerning our next fragrance. You get that we want an Eau de Parfum, and not an Eau de Toilette, which means we need lasting scents. We have no guidelines, no themes, no requests, just a thirst for your creativity. You have what it takes to make it from scratch without us poking into your business- I mean, I'll be here to check on how it is going, of course.” She speaks words at an incredibly fast pace, with a tone deprived of any doubt.

All you feel is your boss’ stare, boring holes into your back; he knows what you’re going to answer. “I’m afraid we don’t work that way. How am I supposed to know what kind of product you need? Don’t you already have an advertisement sample to show me? A muse, somebody representing the brand?” You try the best you can, because now you have too many possibilities and it can’t happen.

“We only have you and your talent, for now.”

Your boss walks up to you two and waves his hands “Not that we think you’re not worth our time, but we mostly work based on requests. We need a guideline.” He pleads, and his fake laugh nearly makes you scoff.

But the woman is thick headed, and she points a finger at you, accusingly. “This person doesn’t need us in order to create a perfume. We’ve been following you for so long after your last fragrance won 1st rank in Vogue’s top 10 Perfume recommendations. You were not easy to find, though.”

But you know, you know it wasn’t your own work, but simply something you were asked to do. “I’m sorry madam, but I simply did as I was told. Without this, I’m nothing.” You say and it sounds depreciatory concerning your own capacities but you don’t care. You are getting so scared right now that you’re ready to call yourself a scam in front of anyone.

The woman laughs and it looks like she can see through you “There is a thousand way to create a perfume with the same elements. You simply refuse to admit you’re a genius, but we both know you can’t waste your time beating yourself.” She adds and lets the contract fall on the glass table, stilettos beating the floor again and her expensive bag back on her shoulder.

“What the hell was that?” Your boss takes the contract and starts reading, but you just want to cry. You don’t want to do this, because you’re scared and afraid and you know you will fail. At the same time, you wanted this, you wanted to create on your own. You had thrown away so many samples until now, thinking it was useless. Now that somebody is asking for your true self, you back off. Your brain screams at you to stop being so contradictory and grasp that opportunity but you just feel numb and pressured and it’s enough to petrify you.

“I can’t. We can’t.” You mumble but your boss looks shocked, mouth agape and fingers gripping the contract.

“This is big, Y/N. Looks at this.” He says and you feel like fainting when you see the amount of money they are willing to pay. You know your boss will never refuse this and panic takes over.

Your shaky fingers almost tear the contract away “I’m going to fail; they will lose their time and the company will be ruined, you know it!”

But he knows better and smiles sweetly at you. “You’re always complaining about plain perfumes and cheap fragrances. You’re given a chance to compose on your own and I fully support you, so please tell me you’ll try, at least. We still have an observation period in case you can’t do it, okay?” you know he is not thinking about the money only, yet you hardly think he is thinking about your well-being either but you can’t refuse now, and you’re left with two pieces of paper and a lump in your throat as your boss goes out of the big office.

For the next couple of days it’s all you can think about, while your boss keeps on calling to make sure you’ll do it. You try to act rebellious a few times but to no avail; you end up agreeing because you don’t have the luxury nor the power to reject this offer.

You agree but deep inside you’re burning with fear. It’s not even exciting, it’s like a wide ocean, with no shores and huge waves. It’s suffocating.

The second time you meet the mysterious guy, he is at the same spot. He keeps on leaning against the bridge, and his whole existence looks like a misery but his smell makes you slow down again. It’s overwhelming, almost unbearable. There is no way a perfume can do that.

It’s a natural smell.

He doesn’t see you and you don’t see his face, but this is not even important right now. Your brain goes back and forth, and it’s a long journey to your past. This guy doesn’t even feel your presence and when you walk away, the feeling is gone, and you breathe again.

“I’m glad you decided to take this offer.” You’re just behind her. She is walking fast, passing halls after halls and you look around, unfamiliar with the smell. It’s like you’re entering the mafia because everyone bows like she owns the place. Only her smell lingers, suiting her perfectly.

Leather.

“As written in the contract, we will provide a lab and supplies. We can have everything you need, so feel free to ask.” She is bragging, and you know it’s her way of making you feel at ease but it’s even scarier. Obviously they are going to provide whatever you need. It's a big investment for little result.

“Oh, and I’ll introduce you to your assistant.” She turns around and winks at you.

“I- I have an assistant?” you stutter, it’s unreal. You don’t mind working alone- why would you even need someone to help?

“You’ll have an assistant, of course. You’re telling me you don’t have one at your company ?” You shake your head with power and she gasps “See? You don’t deserve to be treated this way.” She whispers and opens a door, white and shiny.

When you enter, the smell is strong with disinfectant. There’s no doubt they deep cleaned this place for the launching of a new product. The walls are grey, covered by old advertising pictures from the brand, the furniture seems brand new and there is a man. He looks around you age, with designer clothes and loafers. His hair is blond and he is wearing blue lenses.

“You’re here already?” The woman asks and he nods, his plumps lips revealing shiny teeth. He looks so happy.

“I couldn’t miss it, not when you’re bringing a genius here.” He talks funny and walks with no hidden enthusiasm. He looks like he is out of a fashion show and it’s making you step back with apprehension.

“Good, I guess we can start with the introductions. Meet your assistant.” He offers a hand and his smile widens when you reciprocate the gesture.

He smells like your latest creation “I’m Park Jimin. Nice to meet you, boss.”

Boss. What the hell.

“Nice...to meet you too?” It sounds like a question, but it’s actually a plea. You don’t want to do this.

“I’m so glad you agreed on working with us! It’s not easy to know who hides behind perfumes and it was hard to find you but we did !” He beams at the woman as she taps his shoulder, nodding.

“You found me ? How ?”

“I saw you at a launch product party. When I heard it was you I was so happy. I’m a big fan.” He laughs and you feel even more burdened. The woman is looking at you two like a proud - and rich - mother

“You’re wearing-”

“Yeah, it’s yours! Amazing, right? Oh, tell me if it suits me!” He lifts his head and offers you his neck, giggling.

“Jasmine. You bring out the jasmine in it.”

It’s true, Jasmine suits him.

He makes a weird noise before pointing a finger at the lady “I told you! She is a genius! It’s exactly why I bought it.”

“Since you’re getting along pretty well, I’ll leave you in the hands of this young boy.” Her strong smell of musk stays behind her when she turns around and leaves the room.

“I’m such a big fan of you. You might find it weird, but I bought every single perfume you made. For study purposes, of course!” He is embarrassed but a second later, he is back to serious. “You don’t wear perfume.” He looks intrigued.

“It blurs my sense of smell.”

“Oh my god, this is exactly what a genius would say.” He shakes his head, amazed at your apparently smart answer and proceeds to show you around the lab, the explanations never ending.

The rest of the day is spent next to this guy, who knows every single person in the building. You keep on shaking hands, and soon, you’re exhausted. Jimin is chatting non-stop, offering you drinks and being a perfect assistant.

You discover he is still an apprentice in the perfume industry and is aiming to become a composer for the brand. He tells you he loves fashion, and this you noticed, but he also says something that triggers you.

I want to be like you

You want to laugh at him for being such a fanboy, and you tell him numerous times that the perfumes you made are only things you were asked to create, that it wasn’t your own work, but he brushes you off, explaining you know nothing about your own skills. Jimin is the type of guy who loves to socialise, he has this way of communicating that makes everyone love him. The same day, you go back home with his phone number saved and a tone of messages from him about how excited he is to be working under your care.

On your way back home, you don’t see the guy.

Jungkook has plenty of time to think and he doesn’t like it. His apartment is silent and not even the cars passing by outside can ease the emptiness. He doesn’t dare look at the papers scattered on the floor. They are all creased, and the trash is full. He wants to crash the whole place; he wants to tear it to pieces. It’s infuriating, how everything is here for purpose and he has nothing to look forward to.

He can’t stand it anymore.

His phone rings but he ignores it. His best friend has been calling all day, and he knows he’ll receive a lot of nagging from him but he doesn’t care.

Soon, nobody will have to deal with his abnormal self.

Maybe it was supposed to end like this, even though he has no idea when it actually started. All Jungkook knows is that at some point, he became useless. He used to be efficient, powerful. But now everything is dull. His eyes burn, his ears ring, his mouth is dry.

This is garbage. You’re not what you used to be. Where did your talent go ?

He can stand critiques; he knows the music industry and its perks but he can’t stand being belittled. He doesn’t want anyone to question his way of functioning but it was starting to get a bit too frequent for his taste.

He gets up and goes to his huge and sophisticated window.

He wants everything to stop.

“How did you end up being a perfume maker?” Jimin is swallowing his food, filling the whole lab with spiciness and you want him to go away.

“Give me the bergamot sample.” You open another small bottle and ignore his question, trying to focus on your task.

“You’ve been on this all day, have a break, boss.” He tries although his voice is muffled by all the food he is trying to swallow. You know he is right. You have absolutely no idea about what you’re doing, so you mix stuff in hope of a miracle. Nothing works, everything smells terrible, it’s disgusting even.

“Here, drink something, at least. Take your time.” He coos with a worried expression.

You sigh and rub your face, tired. “I can’t do this.”

“I know, they gave you nothing. I’m here to help so don’t stay quiet and let’s think about this together. I know how they work, let’s take our time, no one is rushing you yet.”

You look at the scattered glass bottles and smelling strips. This is a mess.

Jimin asks you if you want to go to a party held by another luxury brand the same night but you refuse. He isn’t surprised when you tell him you hate going to these places. You’re not the type of person who likes to socialise, and your assistant understands but tells you that you have to go with him next time. You also refuse.

So you go back home. Your head hurts, your body is sore, and your brain is empty. The air is thick with humidity but you like how it resets your sense of smell, erasing all the stuff you’ve been smelling all day.

The guy is here. He is leaning against the bridge again but something about him irks you. He is shivering. His smell slowly fills your nostrils as you approach him and you can’t help but notice that he is leaning against the barrier a bit too much. He sighs, again and again and when he leans even more to look at the river under the bridge, you stop walking.

You’re right behind him.

It’s true that you’re not into socialising, but you definitely recognise someone in pain. His smell makes you move on your own and before he can sigh some more, you find yourself next to him.

It’s even stronger now.

He isn’t surprised when he feels somebody next to him. He stays quiet and acts like he is alone but straightens his back like he was caught doing something wrong.

“Did you...lose something?” You ask, peeking at the river far under your feet. You know he didn’t, but he doesn’t need to know that it’s not the first time you see him here.

“No.” His answer is short and it allows you to finally take a good look at his face. His brown locks cup his face, from his shiny eyes to his round nose and pouty lips. He’d look cool if it wasn’t for his pitiful aura.

“Are you trying to...?” You begin but his eyes go wide and you both understand. He can’t hide it anymore. You don’t notice how blunt your words are but your brain is processing too many things to focus on your conversational skills.

“Can you...leave me alone?” his voice is low and the words are slow. He is almost pleading.

“I can’t. You’re about to do some serious shit right now.”

“I’m not. Go away.” He asks again and you can feel how annoyed he is now.

“Look, I don’t know what happened, but I doubt you should be thinking about this.” He laughs at you and you regret trying to be such a smart-ass.

“How would you know? Just go, please.” He is irritated now, but you can’t let him do that. His smell works like a spell on you.

“I just do. Stop this. I’m not going anywhere until you go back to a safe place.”

“There is no such place. We don’t even know each other.” He is now looking at you with a bored expression.

“You must have a place to stay.”

He sighs loudly and turns to you, looking exhausted “I don’t, I’m homeless. What are you going to do about it?”

“Then come to my place.” You shrug and he makes a face. There is no way you just asked him to come to your place, right?

“You must be crazy.” He breathes but you shake your head. You can’t let this smell go to waste. Not when you don’t know what it is.

Your mind is screaming.

“I’m perfectly fine. If you’re going to do something stupid, I’ll call for help. If you don’t, then come to my place. I have enough room for two anyways.” You are really crazy.

“You’re a stranger. I might be some psycho running out there.”

“You’re none of that. Don’t try to make me back off.” He doesn’t smell like trouble. He smells like safety.

And he is crazier than you, because he agrees. His backpack is firmly hanging on his shoulder when he turns to face you once again.

“You’re not going to let me be.” Jungkook knows that at some point, he won’t get out of this. Now that you discovered what he is about to do, he won’t be in peace until you make sure he is safe, which is totally crazy. Serves him right for not even being good enough to leave peacefully.

“You...agreed?”

“What, you changed your mind? Good, then I can-”

“No! it’s fine! I thought I was being too crazy, that’s all.”

Jungkook nods. “This is crazy, but it can’t get any worse now.”

So you walk in front of him and toward your place. It is hard to think or talk with the smell right behind you, but you keep the game strong and walk proudly, like you just did something great. And you did, you’re bringing him home, when he was about to throw himself off the bridge. You don’t dare ask for more right now, because he might run away.

You open the door and Jungkook stops as soon as he enters the place.

It’s huge.

“There is a guest room but It’s full of my stuff. I’ll take it off tomorrow.” You say, taking off your coat.

“So I’m living here now?” Jungkook scoffs, hoping he is being sarcastic enough to make you give up on him.

“Why not? If you’re homeless, you can stay. I’ll note the door’s passcode on a piece of paper for you. Also, here is the-”

“Wait, I’m not going to live with you.”

“So where are you going to live? On this bridge?”

“I still have a flat until the end of the month, I lied. I thought you were crazy so I said whatever came to my mind.” He confesses, almost feeling guilty.

You’re not mad, not at all. Because now your flat is full of his smell, and it makes your brain work again. You want to know what it is.

“Oh then you’ll be homeless by the end of the month. If you’re uncomfortable, you can pay for your room. I don’t mind.” You shrug and his mouth is wide opened now.

You are really insane. Really.

“This situation is beyond weird. I don’t even know you.”

“And I don’t know you either, but you didn’t slaughter me yet so I guess we’re cool.” You’re being a bit too familiar but he doesn’t notice it, and simply walks deeper into your living-room.

Jungkook doesn’t know what is happening, but in a way, it’s not worse than his current situation. He wouldn’t be homeless; he would never be homeless but he prefers this rather than going back to the family house and admitting he failed. His best-friend is going to lecture him about how the music industry is full of drug addicts, and his parents, oh his parents.

His father would be too happy to prove his superiority.

His pride speaks for him “Okay, I agree. But I’m not staying for free.” He sits on the expensive couch and you know you’ve won this fight.

“Good. My name is Y/N. You are…?”

“Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook.” He lets his head fall on the fluffy material and closes his eyes. He is exhausted. He needs some sleep.

“Nice to meet you, Jeon Jungkook.” You speak like a robot, making him smile uncomfortably and mumble an answer. He doesn’t know why he is feeling so calm when he was about to do something horrible. Maybe he is going insane too. Maybe he has no idea what is going on in his life.

“You can wander the flat, I don’t mind. I’m seriously spent so I’ll head to bed. The guest-room is right there and the bedding is clean, I think...ah, the bathroom is at the end of this hall. Knock if you need something.” You escape now, the scent is filling the place and it makes your brain go wild. You don’t need this right now. Or maybe you do and you’re scared he will vanish if you push your luck any further.

“Good night. If you escape I’m going to fight you.” You try to warn him but he simply nods, smiling apologetically. He makes an okay sign and you don’t know why, but you believe him.

You forget about the probability of him being a scam, a thief, a killer or whoever could hurt you in your sleep. You just focus on the feeling, that one scent invading your olfactory bulb and exciting your axons.

You can’t sleep that night. Jungkook either.

He is thinking about a thousand things. He falls asleep at some point, body as exhausted as his brain. When he wakes up, he finds himself alone in the huge flat along with a sticky note, neat on the fridge.

Suit yourself, I’ll be back by 8 p.m.

Even in the middle of this movie-like situation, he can’t help but look around the rooms, staring at the paintings and furniture. The place is cuddly, calm and warm. He starts writing when he doesn’t find it in himself to question his life choices. The living-room is perfect for his plan and it doesn’t take long for him to fill numerous pages.

Inspiration is creeping and he can’t let it go.

___

*Organ : Refers to a unit of stepped shelving containing hundreds of bottles of raw materials. Arrangement is in a way to assist the perfumer in the creation and compounding of perfume compositions.

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xiaomoxu · 4 years ago

Text

MLQC CN Victor (Li Zeyan) Exhibition Date Part 3 & 4

SPOILER ALERT!!

It's a date which has released on CN server. I'm doing translation for personal reason, so I'm sorry if there's some mistranslation. Kindly tell me if you found some :) feel free for read it~ ^^

Read previous part here

Part.3

MC: This exhibit is called "It's Sunny Today", it's the work I want to include in the show

MC: These are the diaries of a woman for ten years, and they write the bits and pieces of her life.

MC: As for Mr. A, who is often mentioned in these diaries, he is the one she likes.

Li Zeyan bowed his head silently, flipping through one of the books

Li Zeyan: From the perspective of her narrative language style, it looks very similar to yours.

MC: Do you know what is written on the last page of this diary?.. Happy wedding.

Mr. A, whom she likes, declined her confession several times. Later, Mr. A immigrated abroad and the two broke contact.

MC: What she got again was the news that Mr. A was about to get married, so the diary stopped on this page.

Li Zeyan stopped reading the diary, his expression was a little surprised.

Li Zeyan: So what is the purpose of her diary?

I stared at the yellowed cover of the diary and recalled the description in the guidebook.

MC: There is no purpose.

MC: She later said...this is her real life, and it is a very peaceful life.

MC: In the past ten years, she entered postgraduate studies, went to a listed company as a supervisor, and later became a manager and director...

MC: Never give up on yourself for a moment.

MC: Her major for postgraduate entrance examination is one of the most difficult majors in the country.

MC: But when she thought that this school was very close to the high school Mr. A had attended, she persevered.

MC: She felt that even if she walked around the school, she seemed to be closer to his life.

MC: For a long time, she lived alone and recorded by herself,

MC: There are no grand surprises and pains, only trivial life and emotions.

Although it is a sad story, but judging from the cute and interesting description in her diary, even if she feels regretful, she still lives well.

But I talked a lot about it, but Li Zeyan kept silent, so I walked up to him and gently pulled his cuff.

MC: I finished reading here, shall we go?

Li Zeyan: This is the exhibit you want to enter the show, don't you take some photos and go back?

MC: I have this plan, but I am afraid you may find it boring.

Upon receiving his inquiring eyes, I honestly said frankly.

MC: After all, President Li always has some important things in his head every day...

MC: It is understandable that you have no interest in this kind of little love.

Li Zeyan smiled casually.

Li Zeyan: If I'm not interested in this kind of little love, I will not accompany you here on weekends.

He glanced at the diary on display again, and his expression showed some emotion.

Li Zeyan: In fact, human emotions are interlinked, and I understand her.

I didn't expect Li Zeyan to give such an answer, but I was a little stunned.

MC: Don't you think she was wasted the time she spent writing in the diary?

Li Zeyan: Will not.

Li Zeyan cast his gaze on one of the pages in the diary.

Li Zeyan: She herself wrote: No moment of time is wasted for love.

I rarely hear this type of words from Li Zeyan, it even makes me feel strange.

In my impression, we seem to seldom talk directly about the theme of "love".

Maybe it is because he always loves words and opinions. Maybe it is because I have always had a big mind. We always have no chance to understand the meaning of the word seriously.

Will he feel the same when he sees these exhibits?

I looked down, and after a short hesitation, I looked at him again.

Li Zeyan: what you want to say?

MC: Thinking... about the question you just asked me.

I went forward two more steps, one by one at such a close distance, he didn't retreat for half a step, but leaned toward me slightly.

MC: I think Little love is very interesting.

MC: You met someone and felt some emotions.

MC: From then on, you are no longer what you were before, you have been changed. This is a trace.

MC: Such traces will remain in paintings and texts, in sculptures and photography... I can also feel this trace.

Li Zeyan lowered his head and cast his eyes, and there was light and shadow in the quiet pupils.

Li Zeyan: For example.

I clearly caught the smile raised by his lips, and thought seriously.

MC: For example... The format of my plan has changed.

MC: First line indentation, font size ten to five, and paragraph spacing 1.5 are the most pleasing formats for you!

Li Zeyan raised his eyebrows lightly.

Li Zeyan: Only in this way?

MC: And there is... I became picky eater.

MC: I never thought any food was bad.

MC: But Souvenir's special menu has made my taste worse, and now I almost feel like eating Michelin.

Li Zeyan didn't hold back his smile, shook his head helplessly, and took my hand.

Li Zeyan: follow me.

There is an exhibition board in the innermost part of the second floor exhibition hall, which describes the entire process of how the exhibition was initiated to how to grow.

Picture of the curator on top....

MC: The coffee shop owner just now!

Li Zeyan: Fortunately, you did the strategy in advance, but you didn't recognize him?

MC: I just said how familiar he is!

MC: Say so...

MC: The story about this exhibition is also his story.

The literary youth who secretly fell in love with a girl spent a lot of time because they did not know how to confess. When he finally plucked up the courage, the girl died of cancer.

These words are just a few words written on the whiteboard, and even some clichés.

But when I think that this is someone, the real life that is happening, I can't help feeling regret and sadness in my heart.

Li Zeyan: So the name of this exhibition is "Speak Out".

Li Zeyan: The existence of traces is the way in which feelings are spoken.

MC: Whether it's a mouse hidden in a painting, a miss written in a diary, or a stone sculpture with a face of love...

MC: Are talking about their thoughts.

MC: Together with this exhibition, it is also a voice from the coffee shop owner who wants to make up for his regrets.

All the clips are strung together in front of my eyes, making my heart feel the most real touch.

MC: Li Zeyan, although a bit old fashioned....

MC: But if I want to make the program "New Year's Emotions" the theme of "Speak Out"...

MC: Will you approve (or reject) my plan?

Li Zeyan glanced at me, eyebrows stretched.

Li Zeyan: Depends on the quality of the plan.

Part.4

When we finished viewing the exhibition and walked out of the gate of the exhibition hall, a cold wind mixed with drizzle came.

The sun was still shining when I went out, why did it suddenly rain

Li Zeyan: I asked Wei Qian to come and pick us up.

MC: Huh? There's no need..

I quickly took out the tickets for this exhibition from my bag.

MC: I remember that the souvenirs sent by this exhibition seem to be an umbrella exchange with a ticket to the small window.

Li Zeyan naturally took the tickets from me.

Li Zeyan: You are waiting for me here.

MC: Okay

While waiting, I couldn’t help but look back at the exhibition hall and saw the coffee shop owner is closing the door.

Accompanied by the closing music melody, he flipped the store's "OPEN" sign and hung it up as "CLOSE", then inserted a lock and put the key in his pocket.

This should be his ordinary day again.

But he noticed my gaze and couldn't help but glanced at me, then smiled and waved at me and walked deeper into the exhibition hall.

There are many people in this world who have not even been able to say the most important thing, but I am different.

While in a trance, Li Zeyan had already returned under an umbrella.

In the gloomy night, the street lamps were lit up, and he slowly walked towards me in the interlacing of light and shadow.

I saw the fine raindrops wet his hair, and the dim light mingled in his deep eyes.

The traces that have already existed, it should be said in a more direct way...

MC: Li Zeyan, have you heard the music coming out of the exhibition hall?

Li Zeyan didn't hear my overtones and explained it to me seriously.

Li Zeyan: This music is to remind visitors that the closing time is up.

I was a little helpless, and then whispered to him.

MC: Didn't you think of anything else? Don't you think this music is a bit familiar?

Li Zeyan was silent, frowning slightly, as if thinking seriously.

No longer giving Li Zeyan time to think, I ran to him in small steps and stretched out a hand to him with a smile on my back.

MC: This gentleman, can you dance with me while enjoying your face?

Li Zeyan's eyes dazzled slightly.

MC: When you first taught me to dance, you used this tune.

The world is silent, and I hear my heart beating with pounding expectations.

MC: This is the trace of me being changed by you.

The warm fingertips pressed against my palm. Before I recovered, Li Zeyan pulled me into his arms completely.

In the minor tune played on the violin, I followed Li Zeyan's footsteps, gently stepping on the melody, and jumping around in circles.

The night is sinking, but my eyes are full of light

The joy exploded in my heart, like bright fireworks soaring into the night sky, echoing the sky full of stars.

No words can describe such a feeling of satisfaction.

MC: What about you?

Li Zeyan: Me what?

MC: Do you have nothing to say to me? After watching the exhibition all afternoon, there is always some afterthought.

Li Zeyan stopped and held me tight. Some raindrops were blown by the diagonal wind, and he leaned over the umbrella to completely block the rain.

Li Zeyan: Dummy.

The raindrops pattered on the umbrella surface, accompanied by his low voice falling to my ears, as if all the noise was isolated, and only him in the world existed in front of me.

Li Zeyan: Let a greedy cat clamor for dessert after dinner, I baked pudding before going out.

Li Zeyan: Do you think this is a sign of change?

~END~

Thank you for reading, kindly let me now if there's any mistranslation ><

#mlqc spoilers #mlqc cn #mlqc victor #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc date #mr love spoilers #mr love victor

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beguilingcorpse · 4 years ago

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Hey I took ur ouran quiz and the questions were awesome and I did indeed get dragged to filth, as has everyone in the tags, but I think we're all too embarrassed to post pictures of our results bc the callouts were so accurate kjshdfkjsdhf but im so curious abt the others,,, would you mind posting all the descriptions you did? I'm so curious. either way thanks for a banger of a quiz!

AH omg i’m so glad people are enjoying it!! and im sorry that people are getting called out lol but I did try to warn you. im mad that uquiz doesn’t have a “see all results” feature but here are all of the descriptions!!

haruhi:

you give off main character energy but also don't give a shit about being the main character. if you got this answer you probably also relate to tamaki or kyoya but ONLY one of them. you have mixed feelings about the other. you don't think you can experience love the way everyone else talks about it. you crave physical touch but your intimacy issues prevent you from seeking it out so you're stuck wishing anyone else would initiate it and anticipate your needs. people have said that they were drawn to you and a GOOD number of people have told you that they liked you. 9/10 times their crush was unrequited. you're still friends with all of them. hope ur doing well with that gender crisis you're going through!

tamaki:

wow. you're truly a dramatic bitch. maybe people find you a little grating but you're charming enough that they still hang around you for some reason??? ur a big romantic and your expectations will never match reality. every time you pass a mirror you get caught up in your own reflection, even if you don't consider yourself attractive. your self esteem swings WILDLY between "i'm a terrible person and no one really likes me" and "i'm perfect and everyone wants to be me". you definitely have SOME kind of parental complex and you projected way too hard on disney movies in your childhood. how is your hyperfixation with beauty and the beast treating you now? you genuinely want to be a good person but you find that your actions often have unintended consequences. being a wine mom (or your gender equivalent) is absolutely in your future. you're pretentious as fuck and your favorite book is probably pride and prejudice or the picture of dorian gray or some fruity shit. also you're in love with your best friend and im sorry

kyoya:

you have written PARAGRAPHS of analysis about whatever show or movie you're hyperfixated on and definitely talked about it with people who aren't familiar with the source material. you're just a little bit of an asshole (or at least you think you are) but you have a close group of friends nonetheless. you're a good liar and everyone hates playing among us with you. debate is your love language. you wonder constantly why anyone likes you at all. despite this, you're surprisingly loyal (even beyond your own expectations). you like being in charge of a situation even if people don't view you as the leader outright. you're never manipulative with malicious intent but you enjoy seeing the influence you have on others. usually this amounts to introducing them to a new show or hobby. people have told you that they've liked you and your first instinct was to say "thank you, but no you don't". you're just emotionally unavailable enough to be ~intriguing~ but consider swallowing your pride enough to tell the people in your life that you love them.

hikaru:

you know that feeling where you make a joke and maybe one or two people really laugh at it but everyone else doesn't know how to respond? of course you do. you have a very defined sense of humor and you feel like there are only a handful of people who really get you. in reality, part of this stems from the fact that you judge other people, make assumptions, and are slow to forgive. you've definitely given a friend the silent treatment for DAYS... and what was it for? are you happy living life this way? do you so love believing yourself to be misunderstood? i promise there are other people out there who like your obscure interests just as much as you do. pause your early 00s pop punk for a second and get over urself.

kaoru:

are you excited for the big recital coming up? you must be, since you've been playing second fiddle for so long. you're probably disappointed with this response. you wanted to be a main character. you feel like sometimes ur a background character in your own life. most of your friends are people you met through pre-existing friendships and you pretty exclusively hang out in groups. you're a good person and people enjoy your company, but there's maybe only one or two people who would call you their BEST friend. that's okay. you feel the same way. you rarely come up with plans or jokes, but you can "yes and" like there's no tomorrow. maybe your life is a little boring, but at least its comfortable. it's a shame, though. there are a lot of people who could help bring you out of your comfort zone, if you'd let yourself leave your bubble every now and again.

honey:

so. you have a complex. that's okay! most people do. you just HAVE to be the hottest person at the supermarket or the friend that EVERYONE loves. you have a lot of friends but only a few people who really, truly know you. you use humor or flirting or playing dumb to deflect from the fact that you have a SHIT ton of walls up around you and you're afraid to let anyone beyond the facade you put up. you aren't hurting anyone by doing this, but it does get a little lonely sometimes. you like the attention you get, even if it's pretty surface-level. you have a weird thing about crying in front of other people: either you do it too often or you absolutely REFUSE to. you just want to be held. and honestly? don't we all.

mori:

holy shit. you're SEXY. you know EXACTLY when to shut the fuck up and it's hot. it's a double-edged sword, though. when was the last time you let yourself be someone's shoulder to cry on? and when was the last time YOU cried on someone else's shoulder? hm. might want to work on that. you don't think too highly of yourself, but you recognize you're a kind person. bit of a doormat tho. perhaps you've even been called "subservient". it's a shame you're so emotionally closed off, because your friends would honestly love for you to open up more. if you did anything competitive in high school--choir, drama, band, sports, etc.--you were never a soloist or the star player. you played defense, didn't you? you were in the chorus, weren't you? i bet you were in percussion (not the quads tho). your biggest flaw is that you refuse to acknowledge how important you are to other people. there's a gardener and a flower in every relationship, and it's time you started being the flower.

#ohshc uquiz #ask

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stuffedeggplants · 4 years ago

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hullo pls can you tell me about your clone ocs?? any and all of them would be just lovely :D

Lieutenant Six! He’s a supply officer in Coruscant Guard Aviation Support Squadron 66. (They handle logistics and are also an OC squadron! So they don’t have pilots but deal with maintenance, parts, ordnance, etc..) Conveniently he’s CT-60-3102 which also adds up to six- twice. He likes making the kind of jokes that are usually way too obvious for most people to actually make, indulging in clone humor, and has a very optimistic personality. He’s creative with language (and chewing people out lol), but does not excel at lateral thinking and is routinely defeated by bureaucracy and his inability to think outside the box, (but that’s what he has friends for.) Very nice guy, will absolutely go out of his way to help you, but struggles with coming up with creative solutions on his own.

Trooper Eyes-up! He’s on the younger side and also in the Coruscant Guard where he works at the detention center. He got his nickname in very unfortunate and embarrassing circumstances wherein commanders Fox and Thorn caught him doing something he absolutely should not have been doing and told him to bring his “eyes up here, shiny!” So they gave him his name which he’ll never live down. He’s curious, enjoys reading, and is prone to pushing boundaries when he shouldn’t. But he’s also honest and owns up to his screw-ups and is kind of resigned to routinely getting shit for the nonsense he gets himself into, but people love him for it because the fallout is amusing. He was unfairly blamed for bringing granite slugs into one of the barracks (which then proceeded to eat the duracrete walls and cause a problem that only flame troopers could ultimately fix.) He’s good at reading people emotionally but his risk vs reward calibration is a little off. In worlds where Order 66 happens, Eyes-up never participates though the rest of his unit does- this is because his latest screw-up put him on SUFR duty (”sweeping up the fucking rain”), Fox telling him to stay outside in the rain and keep sweeping until it was completely dry. Well the ground was still wet when Order 66 was activated, and Eyes-up’s visceral fear of upsetting the commanding officer of the entire Coruscant Guard overrode his in-built compliance with Order 66, so he stayed and swept up the rain while his brothers went on to worse and darker things. :(

Corporal Corr: the Coruscant Guard Corpsman who ‘mysteriously’ has not managed to promote to sergeant (and likely never will....👀) He works under Thorn in the Diplomatic Service, is a great connoisseur of alcohol, and goes extremely hard for the Coruscant Guard (and nurtures a rivalry with 501st guys whenever they go planet-side for whatever.) He’s very serious about the concept of CG brotherhood and becomes a fixture in Diplomatic Service initiation rites (where shinies are ‘officially’ inducted into the group after their first milestone) to the point where he pretty much leads them. Part of this involves shinies mixing a drop of their blood into red paint, and then their older brothers in the CG mix in their own blood as well. The ex-shinies then use the paint for their armor. Corr has been implicated in brewing his own barracks moonshine which Fox and Thorn let him get away with just long enough to let him finish the process so they could see how good the final product actually was when they confiscated it. Corr also has an agreement with Toast clone, where he trades alcohol for the bread that Toast makes in a crematorium oven that’s non-operational on official records but which is very much operational in a hushed, practical sense. (He also has Toast score the bread surface with the pattern of the CG symbol because he can’t help himself, and has tattoos of the CG armor armbands and legbands actually over his arms and legs. Some might describe Corr as overzealous, but he believes you need passion and strong bonds in life or you have nothing. [This guy is also kind of a joint OC with my friend who runs a Coruscant Guard blog here!]

Are you sick of the Coruscant Guard yet? Well I have 12 more guardsmen alone where this came from and 13 if you count this next guy; I wasn’t kidding when I said I had half a platoon worth of OCs.

Kov, rank to be determined, pronounced like “cove.” (I might change the spelling to better reflect that.) He’s in one of the Special Tactics Groups of the Coruscant Guard, a unit which I made up to work kind of like a SWAT team. He and his STG are also part of a designated force that can respond extremely quickly to developing situations and get there first to deal with the trouble before anybody else comes in. His STG’s motto is “made to kill, decanted to die” and he has a target tattooed over the side of his face to go with it. (They get shit from non-CG and units that think all they do is give out parking tickets and stand around looking pretty in the Senate building- these guys very much do not do that.) His face is very expressive, and he’s decisive, straightforward, and unfortunately comes off as kind of low on empathy. He wants people to see him as very pragmatic though he’s actually rather idealistic and kind of naive about certain things. He and his best friend are very interested in plants- Kamino didn’t have any, and they’re generally rare on Coruscant. There’s something calming and ‘constant’ about them that he enjoys. He likes taking photos of the ones they find together and looking them up later to learn about nature/biology. Kov learns he really likes children, but is uncertain/a little afraid to let himself interact with them because he’s worried about what sort of influence he’d have on them (and on a deeper level whether he’d learn from them that he’s not actually the person he thinks he is or tries to be.) He and a Twi’lek woman who immigrated from Ryloth sort of fall into a relationship without meaning to, and they both learn a lot from each other and grow as people. (I’m planning on having her take him to a botanical garden that he had no idea existed, and sometime during their visit he realizes he loves her even. He has trouble putting it into words in his mind, but he definitely knows.)

Okay last one, I’m sorry! :(

Lieutenant Rakia of the 212th, part of Slick’s direct chain of command. He goes through Geonosis with his best friend and batchmate Arak. When they were cadets on Kamino, and Arak’s helmet saved his life during a training accident but was partially shattered, and Rakia’s random compulsion to bend down and pick up a shard of the helmet inadvertently saved his life too during this incident. Arak and Rakia kept the small plastoid chunk, carved designs over its surface, and exchanged custody of it for years. Before Geonosis Arak gave it to Rakia. Rakia survives but somehow can’t find the chunk where it’s supposed to be in his utility belt, like it just disappeared, and Arak goes missing and is presumed KIA during the battle. On a deep internal level, Rakia has similar realizations to Slick, but because his personality is different he takes that in another direction. He doubles down on a deep trust and faith in the Republic and the Jedi because he’s subconsciously afraid of what it means about his life and purpose if those things are not the things he should believe in. He sees that they’re all cogs in a machine, but his response is that that’s a good thing. He finds something very personally significant about the idea that all those tiny cogs come together to become something much bigger. So his own internal tendencies towards a collective approach and trusting the leadership he was instructed to trust all his life just get kicked up to higher levels after Geonosis in the face of his anxieties.

In normal speech he’s casual and kind of playful, but when he gets angry he becomes overly explicit/didactic about things and snaps a lot to the point where he can be condescending even without meaning to be. Rakia has an artistic side but doesn’t get to explore it much at first. He’s clean-shaven and lets his curls grow out a bit because he likes how he looks that way, but otherwise looks like everyone else and doesn’t want to visually distinguish himself from his brothers too much besides the slightly longer hair. He wants to be someone others look up to and tries to ignore/deny parts of himself that he doesn’t feel fit that ideal image he wants others to see. Part of that ties into him really struggling with grief but not even allowing himself to contend with it and find closure, stuffing it back down and ignoring it to negative effect. It also ties in to him resisting discovering himself as an individual beyond a certain point/his comfort zone because he’s afraid that will isolate himself from his brothers, but resisting that (and continuing to deny his grief/keep it bottled down) ends up doing that exactly, leading him to feel cut off and alone in certain ways that compound the problem in a bad spiral. (He gets out of it, I promise.) So because Slick is busy developing his own radical ideas and solutions which he can tell no one about (on top of feeling like he’s the only one who’s cottoned on to something nobody else can see,) that’s isolating too, and he and Rakia understand each other a lot better than they think they do in some respects, regardless of their disagreements.

I know you didn’t ask for a six paragraph essay. Sorry I just really love these guys.😅

#my stuff #my writing #asks #Rakia is an alcohol from the Balkans and Central Europe #Arak is an alcohol from the Near East/nearby regions #I don't really even drink but I liked those names so I made them into clone names #and made them batchmates #I love Rakia so much

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riceccakes · 4 years ago

Text

Earth, Wind, and Coffee: Chapter Four Analysis

and now the last chapter of the fic! i really had so much fun writing these analyses so i hope you’ve enjoyed too :))

i’ve got a lot to say about this last chapter too so be prepared for a long one. lets get to it, shall we?

some fun stuff before we start!

before changing the direction of the story, the last chapter of the fic was going to be Chapter 3: The Meeting, A Well Deserved Jab, and a Good Night’s Rest

so, The Meeting was going to happen, korrasami was gonna come back together and instead of the krew outing during this chapter’s A Well Deserved Jab, korrasami was gonna go out on a date. korra still would punch iroh, korra never ‘moved in’ with asami, it was just gonna be a fluffy section. A Good Night’s Rest was actually going to feature hiroshi going to asami’s apartment while korra was over and being like “who the fuck is this” and korra was gonna be upset asami didn’t tell her dad about them (as, in the og timeline, they would be dating at this point) they’d have a convo working this out, a little like how korra said she’d never understand how asami and hiroshi don’t have a great relationship in A Much Needed Conversation. korra would then go to hiroshi’s office and make that whole speech and still ask asami to go the south. this is a v summed up version, one that when i made it, i was happy with. having published what i did, i much enjoy that ending more than this one :)

i wanted a way to show that korra likes asami (obviously, this is a korrasami fic) but of course, asami spent most of this only wishing korra liked her

mako asking out korra was a late edition, one i actually really like. mako’s role in the fic is pretty minor, sorry to those of you who really love him and maybe wanted more from him. however, i am a really big fan of the fact that in lok, even after all the stupid love triangle shit, mako was able to be good friends with korrasami, so i still wanted to capture that. he’s not at all upset when korra turns him down, but rather super happy for the fact that korrasami feel the same way about each other. an even later edition to this point is the bedroom scene when korra asks asami to wait for her, i’ll mention more about this scene later cause i really love it.

and we in gooooo: (i usually try to write these following the sections of the chapter but for this analysis, im gonna go topic by topic within each section)

literary devices (diction, figurative language, etc.):

There have been better days than this one. Days where Korra blows up Asami’s phone with funny Instagram posts she finds while Asami’s at school, days where she invites Mako and Bolin over and the four of them play board games, days where Korra asks if they can go out for a walk and she excitedly explores the area around Asami’s apartment. There have been worse days than this one. Days where Korra won’t get out of bed, days where Korra won’t speak, days where Korra won’t even look at Asami and she has to see that glossed over gaze gawk out the glass window.

back again, just quoting my favorite sections. and this one, yall, this one. the mirrored writing style, the ending with alliteration, how easily it describes a passage of time i mean come on. when i wrote this i was like “yyyyaaaasssss” and i won’t deny it. the “glossed over gaze gawk out the glass window” is obvious in alliteration, one that just sounds so good, it rolls off the tongue. but, there’s actually also another one, one that’s a bit more hidden “she excitedly explores the area around Asami’s apartment” note how these both end the descriptions of korra’s bad/good days respectively, as a sort of way to frame which parts of the sentence correspond with the good days and bad days. now, going onto korra’s days, three examples of good days, three examples of bad days (that’s technically six different days right there, and it doesn’t even have to be in succession.) what i also love about this info into korra’s days is how it shows a passage of time without having to be like “it’s been a few weeks” or “after some time/a while” it doesn’t stick out, at least not to me, it’s not a jarring way to say, “hey, in the story now, time has passed since last chapter!” idk, i just am really proud of this paragraph and i wanted to point it out in its own section :)

Asami will never, ever say she’s happy that the Red Lotus attack happened, but, it’s what brought Korra to her. It’s what brought more friends to her, it’s what brought her to see her father isn’t as great and almighty as she’d grown up to believe. How could she ever thank something so horrible for bringing about all these life changing things in her life?

this sort of, existential section, was something i came up with on the toilet. (tmi? im not gonna apologize tho, this is a behind the scenes explanation of my writing and some of my best writing happens on the toilet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) any who, i didn’t want to leave any loose ends and, up until this chapter, i don’t really think i showed how asami felt about the attack and the situation and what’s happened after. also, asami being the perfectionist and analyst she is, i know she’d reflect on everything that’s happened to her in the span of about six months (give or take) and even more so, reflect on what’s happened with korra in the time they’ve known each other. it was a bit painful to write this section, it’s that sort of mentality that’s like “some horrible, horrible shit happened, but really, really good things came out of it. so, should i still hate all that horrible stuff or should i just appreciate the good things that came out of it?” (i’ve been debating this for years now with something personal and to this day, i’m not sure. i’m not sure if i’m more thankful for it all happening because of the few good moments it brought or if i wish none of it happened for the chance at some alternate reality of good things happening. anyways, i digress)

Kuvira stays silent for a moment, “When Hiroshi reaches out to you, tell him everything you said to me. Tell him everything you said when we were in your apartment after the presentation. He needs to know how you feel, he needs to know how he’s made you feel for years. Hiroshi can’t change if he doesn’t know what’s wrong and you want him to change, don’t you?”

Asami grips the steering wheel, staring at the red light in front of her. Her foot slowly pulses on and off the break, inching forward, waiting for the signal.

“I do.”

She feels the pit of her stomach churn, wondering if she could ever say all of it to her father. Kuvira isn’t wrong, she wants her father to change, but not in every way. Not in the business sense, not in the ambition sense, but rather, she wants a father, she wants to feel like the man she calls Dad really deserves the title. It pains her to say he hasn’t. The light turns green and Asami’s foot hovers over the gas pedal.

“So then you’ll tell him?”

For just a moment, her Satomobile doesn’t move but with a sharp, deep breath, Asami steps on the pedal. “I will.”

back again with our car metaphor/symbol thing! i really do love this idea of using the Satomobile as a way to show the relationship between hiroshi and asami, and how asami handles that relationship. this is from A Much Needed Conversation, some time after asami’s returned to future industries, calling kuvira in reluctant hope of knowing what her father is doing. they talk about asami telling hiroshi all this important stuff, stuff that asami’s been hesitant to bring up at all. (only after a breaking point did she finally let it out) this section has a mix of it all, diction, metaphor, along with some suspense by using line breaks.

Her foot slowly pulses on and off the break, inching forward, waiting for the signal. / “I do.” - here’s a good example of suspense. (it continues through the rest of the excerpt) so, here was have asami, absolutely scared shitless, as she always is with her father and this subject of her life in relation to him. except, now with their time apart and what happened with the meeting, asami’s kind of got this “fuck it, whatever” mentality that goes a few different ways. “fuck it, whatever” my dad totally turned on me and was an asshole, i don’t care. “fuck it, whatever” we cut off ties, i can do whatever i want. “fuck it, whatever” i might very well do whatever it takes to get my dad back because i miss him but im also super scared as per usual. “fuck it, whatever” im not the one who needs to do anything to get him back so i won’t even think about it. there’s just a lot for asami to unpack here and in the setting of her father’s legacy, it’s even more for her.

She feels the pit of her stomach churn...The light turns green and Asami’s foot hovers over the gas pedal. - more suspense. the light is green, green means go, but asami is waiting, thinking, hesitating. this also relates to the line earlier “waiting for the signal” well, this is the signal, the green light means go. but also, kuvira telling asami to tell hiroshi everything is also the signal to go, it’s like the push for asami to do it. she sees the signal, it’s go time, and yet “Asami’s foot hovers over the gas pedal” asami is still nervous, still scared to have this conversation with her father because she just doesn’t know what’s going to happen.

“So then you’ll tell him?” / For just a moment, her Satomobile doesn’t move but with a sharp, deep breath, Asami steps on the pedal. “I will.” - this mirrors just a few lines earlier. when kuvira asks asami to tell hiroshi everything while she’s waiting for the green light, her dialogue has a line break. for dramatic effect purposes, but also to show a sense of firmness. it’s by itself, it doesn’t need to be supported; asami really, truly means this. however here, her dialogue tag is connected to the narration its related to. even while asami confirms she’ll do this, that she’ll talk to her father, it’s hesitant, it takes a moment for her to say yes.

what i really love is how much can be covered in such few lines. i’m not sure you all saw this when reading, ive always been very into reading/writing analysis, so i’m always looking at everything with a fine tooth comb; in my own writing, it’s no different. if you didn’t see this before, i hope learning it now gives you a different perspective if you ever choose to read my fic again :)

content (typing up loose ends, leaving breadcrumbs, additional info):

lets talk about korra

a lot happens for our girl in this last chapter. i’ll try to be concise, i tend to kind of ramble. i think what’s kind of cool, and i didn’t realize this beforehand, is that theres a speech from korra in each section. in A Well Deserved Jab, we see korra’s first time speaking at the support group meeting and what i really like about this is there’s no real big event that’s happened for her to finally be able to go up there. i feel like there’s always this one, life altering moment in stories when people need to deal with trauma or just work up the courage to do something, but in our case, it’s not like that. it’s the time and the care that’s slowly been working and helping korra for her to feel ready. it’s been a culminating process for her to get to go up there and for whatever reason, korra felt ready. let’s go a little into this speech

we finally learn more about the attack. we learn why korra’s always been picking at her wrists, the memory of the zip ties are still strong and she scratches at hopes of making the feeling go away. we also hear more about korra losing control that night, which in turn made her want to control everything with her life after the event. (lil fun-ish note while we talk about some deep stuff right now, last chapter’s first paragraph, about korra enjoying pour over coffees, was a purposeful choice. when doing pour overs, you have direct and absolute control over the coffee and how you make it, which gives korra a greater sense of comfort, because she knows she’s in charge when doing this.) my favorite part about this whole speech is right before the tail end of it, where korra says “sometimes surprises are better than plans” it was never in her plan to meet someone and find comfort and support and love and grow with it. (my headcanon is that korra just wanted to mull this over alone, sort of like in book four after the canon red lotus attack.) instead, korra met asami and the two clicked and korra could see a light at the end of her tunnel she thought would be pitch black forever. i really enjoyed getting to write this for korra.

korra’s second speech takes place in A Much Needed Conversation. another scene from the fic i wrote beforehand, i think somewhere between finishing chapter two and mulling over the decision to make the fic longer. this was sort of my cathartic, “lets yell at hiroshi for being sucky” moment. a lot of points are brought up here, all of which i believe are valid. it poses the simple, yet ever complicated question of “why?” i’ll get into hiroshi’s response in a later section, but what i’ll highlight about this speech is korra’s statement, “Now, I know that I don’t need to be saying any of this, because Asami can more than hold her own in any conversation, but I am doing this because you are hurting the woman I love, and I will not just let that happen.” its a declaration of love, love that i know is deeper than just romance but also deeper than just friendship. it’s admiration for asami being so strong, admiration for asami being so powerful and smart, korra says more about it in the speech. i tried it make so that korra wasn’t trying to control this situation with asami’s father, but rather, this was korra’s attempt at getting them to try and work something out. korra wants what’s best for asami, she wants her to get everything she wants. korra knows asami wants a better father and the most korra feels she can do is slap hiroshi (with her words) across the face and get him to realize that’s what asami wants.

korra’s third and final speech opens A Good Night’s Rest. we get just a little more about that night, i actually wrote this speech out loud. i just sort of put myself in korra’s place and started talking. my intent with this opening was to give more insight into how korra feels about asami. this is also a call back to the beginning of the chapter, about waking up asami if korra ever needs her. i took this action as a solidifying definition for asami to know “yeah, korra really does love me.” sure, in the last section, korra sort of did say it, but actions still speak louder than words. a lot of this final chapter was just showing how much korra has grown, i think i achieved that.

before we move on, i just wanted to say a lil bit about the bedroom scene where korra asks asami to wait for her. it’s a small confession that i think just says so much. another time here to show that romantic korrasami will happen, but it’s also just insight into korra and her thoughts about romancing asami. she wants it too, so badly that she almost gets into it before she’s ready. did i psych you guys out like asami, who thought she was finally going to kiss korra? it’s all in the lines, “I’m almost there...I know I am, Asami. I’ll be there soon, I need to be better. I need to be better for you.” and now, after thinking about it, i almost wasn’t gonna word it like this. what korra’s saying here is that her progression is only being done so that she can be good for asami, which, i didn’t want to convey. however, sometimes, that’s just how people think; they think, “if i have to do something, i gotta do it for someone else.” and so that’s what i’ve done with korra here, it’s just this mentality that she’s growing out of. it’s okay to have this thought process, good even, but not for every single thing you do. and i wanted korra to know that, which is why i love asami’s response, “I think you’re already great.” it’s just to remind korra, yes you can get better, you will get better. but not for asami, but for yourself, because asami already loves you the way you are.

kuvopal

breadcrumbs; that’s all i’ve really done so far with kuvopal is put lil breadcrumbs everywhere for the people who like the idea of the relationship to grasp at. is that mean of me? maybe, but i really love kuvira and opal as a couple so i wanted to keep hinting and hinting and hopefully getting you readers interested too. kuvopal has been sprinkled in since chapter two and i wanted to leave the readers with just a little ounce of hope

asami’s official introduction with opal heavily involves bolin, enough to the point where the two kiss each other on the cheek. now, of course, after reading the chapter, you know bolin and opal aren’t dating, but i wanted to stress you out a lil bit xD asami is weary of mentioning kuvira, so there’s not much we really get to see about how opal feels. opal may have wanted to talk when asami mentioned kuvira just before korra asked about spring break, but she didn’t. why didn’t she say anything? do you think she’s wanted to talk about kuvira? what about her major, child services and the foster care system, do you think kuvira influenced that, being she essentially was fostered by the beifongs? do you think we’ll ever find answers? *wink*

iroh

so obviously, we don’t like iroh. if there’s anyone in this story who doesn’t get a happy ending or a second chance, it’s him because he’s the worst. i realized we hadn’t seen too much of iroh in the previous chapters and this being the last one, i needed to really show just how not cool iroh is. the soccer game is very clearly an indication of just how conceded and rude he is. after the game, his conversation with asami is bad. he’s being invasive and inconsiderate of asami and he doesn’t care. same with at the restaurant. so, of course i wanted iroh to get his comeuppance and we have that by korra punching him.

going off of this, i didn’t want it to feel like iroh got a one and done kind of deal. he was incredibly awful to asami and his “friends” and i didn’t want this behavior to be taken lightly. so, i chose to make iroh just basically lose everything :) he loses his friends, possibly his job, i just KNOW izumi is disappointed as fuck that he’s acted like this and uncle iroh is rolling over in his grave that someone of his own blood would be like this. i wanted to address iroh in his own category because i just wanted you all to know that he is the only character not getting off easy. i really hope that how iroh’s situation turned out is good, as in, he got what he deserves.

hiroshi

hiroshi was an interesting character to go about in the final chapter. obviously, throughout the fic so far, hiroshi hasn’t been a standout father or boss. if i haven’t said it before, i’ll say it now: i always wanted hiroshi to have a second chance, ie, i wanted hiroshi to try to be better. for one, asami deserves it. she deserves a good parent who’s there for her and isn’t just obsessed with his job and the glory and empire he’s built up for himself. another reason, i believe everyone (within reason, *cough cough* not iroh *cough*) deserves a second chance. at the very least one more try, to be better, and if they’re actively trying, they’re doing better.

so hiroshi gets a bit of a wake up call from not only korra, after she so passionately scolded him in the name of her love for asami, but hiroshi also got one from asami directly. take your pick as to which conversation sparked hiroshi to call her to say goodnight. it’s an effort, and asami even says it herself, that after a while, the juice of it ran out. but kuvira said it too, it’s a start. what im trying to highlight is that no one is perfect and their ways of trying to change themself isn’t going to be perfect either.

and the kicker is hiroshi going to the south, without any other reason than to see asami. hiroshi only ever travels for future industries related business, but here he goes, without kuvira, to the south to see asami. i want to keep highlighting, asami says this is just the start. she hasn’t yet fully forgiven him, but she’s giving him the chance to be forgiven. that’s what i want to make most apparent on the topic of hiroshi and asami’s relationship: hiroshi is not getting off easy. but he’s trying, and in the words of the good place, that is what matters isn’t if people are good or bad, what matters is if they’re trying to be better today than they were yesterday. hiroshi, in this action, coming to the south, is trying to be a better father that day than all the days before. offering up the job offer from tonraq is hiroshi trying to be a better boss that day than the day before. staying in the south to spend real, quality time with his daughter is hiroshi trying to be better that day than every day before that.

it’s all in the trying.

honorable mentions:

in the og timeline, back when korrasami was going to be a confirmed couple in the fic, after returning from the south, asami was going to go to the cafe at one in the morning while korra was working and korra was going to make her an avatar. i liked the full circle aspect at the time but really, i much prefer what i’ve posted over that og timeline.

anything i would’ve wanted to change?

i think, overall, i maybe would’ve wanted to divide chapters up differently. as i continued writing, the three sections definitely could’ve supported themselves as singular chapters. especially this final chapter, which was almost 20k words. but, in the end, i am so proud of this fic and of myself for following through and finishing it.

i lost a bit of steam towards the end of this analysis, i’ve actually had this in my drafts for almost two months. but, i think what i wanted to say, i did, and as always, if you have any comments or questions, or just wanna talk to me, do it ! i love any and all commentary on my writing :))

thanks for reading the analysis if you did x

#ricewrites #earth wind and coffee #coffee shop au #korrasami #korra #asami sato #lok #writing analysis #chapter analysis

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wildflowerwattpad0217 · 4 years ago

Text

Clary Fray Gets Married. (My First Story On Wattpad) My Reaction After 3 Years.

So This story is going to be deleted from Wattpad on 12/18/2020. Due to how messy the story is. But I don’t reccomend reading it. So if you want to read the mess before then here is the link:

Clary Fray Gets Married

Masterlist

One paragraph is a single chapter

So Maia just got killed and Sebastian is back. That's a cheesy line. How would they be able to invite you to the wedding if they thought you were dead. Not that they would anyway. Clary is sacrificing herself for everyone. All these misspellings though, well it was my first story on here and I never edited it and I wrote it on my phone. That was short af. Well my original word count was 500 but later in the story I am pretty sure I switched it to my current 2000.

The incest plotline though, *throws up* I was trying to continue the idea of Sebastian thinking that the bloodline had to be pure. And Clary's pregnant. Jace's pov, the language was the worst in this story. Clary pov. Sebastian wants to make another demon child. Trama. Sebastian is a vampire but a new breed. Mark of Cain?

So we are starting this chapter with Trama warnings. Jace is blood thirsty and I don't blame him. This is the cringest this I've ever written and that's saying a lot. Clary made a run to hurt him. It can't be that easy.

Sebastian told Jace that was pregnant. Jace just cut of his head and he's still alive? These 500 word chapter get annoying fast.

Threatening Alec for Magnus to put up wards. That's one way to do it ig. You want the Infernal Cup too? Now he only wants Jace and Clary there.

Not much happened in this chapter but Sebastian raided Clary's closet from the Insitute.

A protective Jocelyn tho. This language is not how I would write this today.

It's like every other word is F*ck. This is so cringey. This is supposed to be first person pov not whatever you wanna call that. So much flopping back and forth between povs and I didn't make the pov change very noticeable either.

Really you're taking his head off again? Well it gave you time to get away ig.

This conversation feels forced. It doesn't flow right.

Clary is insisting on getting married before Sebastian can screw it up any more.

Magnus calling Simon by his actual name??? How did Jace just pop up like that?

What the hell was going on it that small pov with Sebastian and Lilith? "...revealing his father in a new form." Valentine? Wtf? Yeah it is Valentine and he hates what his son did.

Jace and Clary are finally getting married.

Valentine it pissed at Sebastian. Clary thinks it's halirious that he's a downworlder now. Karma is a bitch. Clary really just stabbed him in throat after he offered to help you kill your brother and Lilith?

Now why is Sebastian so worked up over a missing necklace? And Jocelyn just found out about Valentine and she shookth.

Jace has a half sister? And Luke has a niece? I don't remember this plotline but this story was all over the place.

Who is Lilith gonna bring back now? Carmen Herondale, Jace's sister.

Sebastian and Carmen reunited.

Sebastian never wanted this for Carmen? She's made at him but not for the reason you think. He was going to propose to her the night she was killed? Valentine is the reason she's dead? Clary just killed him.

Carmen is a murderer? And she got away.

I didn't even realize Simon didn't go.

Carmen you touch Alex or Max I will kill you.

He gave her the wrong spell thankfully.

Tessa is dead? The author's note was not it.

Even in a shitty fanfic Max is adorable.

Carmen's adoptive mundane father was a gang leader in Paris? What kind of crack was I smoking while writing this?

Simon compared her to Assassin's Creed. Why did Clary just pass out?

So the kid is basically going to be a full blown angel. Interesting. And the last thing she remembers is taking the pregnancy test?

That is some Twilight shit right there.

Aww Alec wants to propose to Magnus.

Her pregnancy is getting intense.

That line is so cringey wtf. Sebastian is back?

So I kinda remember the person who originally raised Lilith but tbh I regret writing Carmen's charcther because the next few chapter don't make any sense.

Clary's eyes changed colors. I really don't remember writing half of this because I was going through some stuff at the time.

The unnecessary pov switch tho. Clary just made a new Rune.

Magnus may have found a way to make Shadowhunters immortal?

Why would you try a rune on a trash can?

So everyone one agreed to going immortal. That would suck. And there was a rune made with the oil based paint Clary used. This is confusing af. I am sorry to anyone who has ever read this.

Max calls Clary, Aunt Clary. Wtf does he have to be so cute?

More Max being adorable.

Alec and Magnus are engaged. This makes me happy. Sebastian projected himself into the Insitute?

New Character is introduced: Emily Starkweather. Hodge's daughter and Lydia Blackwell's half sister and she hates her.

I made Lydia Blackwell very homophobic because I made Emily bi sexual and that's why they hate each other. Emily is traitor. Sebastian loves her? And is cheating on Carmen with her. This is very confusing. Emily is gonna teach Izzy how to cook.

Raphael got her addicted to Yin Fen. I really mixed The show and the book together. This bitch is lying her ass off to them.

Sebastian and Emily are planning to get rid of Carmen.

She's planning on killing so many people and pinning it on them.

Emily has some Trama TM

She is going to kill her mother.

Lowkey think Jace is getting sus of her. Carmen is dead.

They just found out she's a traitor.

Joyce, Luke, Myrse and Robert are all dead wtf and the baby is coming.

Emily has a good reason to trust Sebastian tho. He did save her life.

Lilith thought she was dead? Who do u think rose you from Edom?

They don't know Carmen id dead yet? Alec ripped into Lydia. Compared her to Valentine. Big ope. Emily is the 3rd Angel experiment.

Emily and Sebastian are planning on kidnapping Lydia. Emily's angel blood is Lucifer's wtf? Emily called her sister a Stupid Ass Bitch and I'm living for it. And she's been kidnapped.

Sebastian just turned her? Ew. The left-handed joke. They summoned Lucifer for some reason.

Emily is absolutely crazy.

So she did kill her mother... I didn't make that very clear. Jace and Alec want them to make Amends so that she doesn't murder Shadowhunters. Sweetie I think it's far too late for that. Lydia is officially dead. How could she be preggers if she's a vampire? And now her mother is still alive? Jocelyn, Luke, Maryse and Robert are alive still too? Emily's mom admitted to everything. I also started going to 2000 word chapters.

Lilith is acting like a bitch, kinda. They are attacking the clave. Lilith summoned a shit ton of demons. The end of the chapter is kinda intense tho.

Raphael? Wtf are you doing here? Hodge? They are testing by mortal sword. This is kinda confusing. Why was this the most read story on my wattpad before Avenging Riverdale?

Flashback scene to when they first met.

Then there was a short chapter. About a prochey

Time skip. The baby is coming. A blue and a black eye? Sebastian's eyes flickered green? Magnus wants to figure how to bring out the Johnathan in him.

Emily plans on making Sebastian stays Sebastian.

That was a shitty chapter.

And I forgot I discountinted it... Sorry about that.

Overall I am happy I discountinted you. It is a horrible book and I am embarrassed by it to be honest. This is my first book on wattpad so I think it's pretty normal but it wasn't my first piece of fanfic. My first work was on Fanfic.net but has since been deleted by the website. I don't know why it wasn't bad at all it was more fluff than anything. But I have decided that I am going to post this and then I'm going to take down the story in a month. I failed to put trigger warnings, failed to edit (to be fair that was back when I did all of my writing on my phone before I had am actual laptop). But I did have some good ideas when it came to the traitor part and Sebastian finding love and I deem this story on crack. So my final rating is a 2/10.

#I hate this story more that you could ever know #wattpad #my first wattpad story #the mortal instruments

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