#sorry for the delay my sleep schedule got real fucked lol

[hasgudagudadoneanythingwrong]

I am out there for the whole gudaguda crew, they are the reason I still play the game probably because I laughed so fucking hard at gudaguda one and Nobu wanting to turn the holy grail into a bomb and the fourth ascension implying that she's inviting you to fuck? Everything was so hilarious and they had these serious moments too as the series went on further. Final Honnoji was wonderful too from Chief retainer Mash to Avenger Nobu, to Hijikata commanding the mini nobu squad while chowing down on chilled pickles! And Mori. OH MY GOD MORI.

I cannot wait until the next gudaguda where I will expand my shitpost roster with Mysterious Ranmaru X, who I only can HOPE aids Mori in being an absolute himbo. The fact that in 5 Nobukatsu gets everything he deserves only makes it better!

I have been deprived of any Okita for too long and now I can only imagine she and berserker Nobu will form an absolute dumbass unit and watch tv making stupid commentary on other type moon properties with Medusa and Artoria somewhere in the background.

Though here is the big question. WEN MONKEY?

Oh you and me there buddy, Gudaguda is the only reason I'm even still involved here and by god is it keepin me here. And yeah! There is so much Mori family bonding time in Gudaguda 6 you're gonna be so happy, Ranmaru X is basically one of the main forefronts and Nagayoshi is a very prominent party member.

Honestly, no complaints about 6 besides having a bit of difficulty keeping the names straight (there's a lot of important names that start with Ta-) and kind of same with 5, but I think 5 might've been impacted pretty heavily by reading it off machine translations. Still though, go in with a pencil and paper for the names for at least the first few episodes, it'll help a bunch.

That said, (I'll keep the spoilers to a minimum) 5 did suffer a bit from not knowing how to properly balance the upbeat seriousness of "getting shit done" and the dramatic seriousness of "incredibly emotional turn of events" leading to both instances feeling really out of place and hard to take seriously?? But while it was hard to take the actual incidents seriously they both had really strong impacts so please just assume both points (you'll know exactly when) are like. actually legitimately serious, I know I took the first for a joke until it was revealed it really wasn't a joke and so uh, yeah fair warning there lol

Honestly, I'm pretty surprised Toyotomi Hideyoshi hasn't shown up much yet? I believe in Redline/Koha-Ace(?) he's implied to have been in the previous HGW, and we've seen other instances of him in :RE flashbacks I believe, so I know he has potential to be summoned as a servant in some regard there, I just don't know if Gudaguda 2 established that as never gonna happen due to something something final boss of the event/cause of the singularity. But, I don't know if whatever happened there's enough to stop 'em from making Monkey properly summonable (or at least an NPC), so we'll have to see. Gudaguda 4 was all-in on the warring states, 5 was more for just shinsengumi, and 6 was mori but especially tosa people, so i could see an event focusing more on just the retainers now that we got Ranmaru X and Nagayoshi being buddy-buddy siblings. We'll have to see though.

[bigskydreaming]

I kinda wanna fucking scream, so here, have a offline bullshit rant post.

So I’ve literally been trying to get my stupid fucking meds for over a MONTH now at this point, which I’m sure you can all see like, my mood is just wooooonderful these days. Not an excuse, casual reminder that yeah you do gotta take care of your own space so if my mood is dragging anyone down, I’m totes on board with blocking or unfollowing or y’know, burning me in effigy or something. Okay maybe not that last part. But still. You get it. And its not even that like, I need mood stabilizers per se, lol, so shout out to the armchair diagnosticians helpfully peppering my inbox still in their quest to oh so slickly be like ‘hey you’re a hot mess, take your hot messness away from tumblr’ like lol, didn’t ask.....nah, its mostly the perpetual lack of sleep and chronic pain issues that I have zero distraction from when my specific combo of meds isn’t able to let me actually weaponize my ADHD properly and power through that. Its a whole thing. Whatever. Just go with it.

POINT IS. So I’ve been trying to do this for over a month now, first obstacle was even just getting the money together for my refill appointment which is a whopping $150, because I have to pay out of pocket for mental health stuff these days because I had to switch my insurance over to something that paid out more heavily for physical benefits like my jaw surgery.....and because of the pandemic, and how many psychiatrists in my area and that I could actually reach aren’t taking new patients during the pandemic since most of them are conducting business virtually still, like, I have barely any resources for seeking out and trying new psychiatrist offices in the meanwhile that might charge less and I’m kinda stuck with the one I have because the last thing I can afford is to have like, NO psychiatrist at the moment, y’know?

So first I had to have that to even BOOK the appointment, which took forever because rent and food are a joy to accrue when you can barely manage to function as an actual employee of the capitalist machine ahfsklhflkahflakf, but so then I did that and like, got an appointment put on the books for August 19th. That was the soonest they could fit me in back when I paid them for my appointment about a week and a half ago. No, two weeks ago now? Eh, time is fake. ANYWAY, so that wasn’t gonna work for me, so basically the entirety of last week was devoted to constantly calling and trying to check in every other hour to see if they had any sooner cancellations I could take, because for whatever fucking reason, they just ‘don’t do’ a cancellation list wherein they call the next person on the list once they have a cancellation. Whatever.

So finally got a cancellation slot with a virtual appointment last Saturday night at random as fuck 8:40. Okay cool. Most of my refills are fairly simple, no real changes, but two are controlled substances so like, they have to do their due diligence and go through the proper protocols before giving me another prescription to one or whatever. Fine. Okay.

So I call the CVS they sent the prescription for my ADHD med to, the very next morning. One of the controlled substances, and the key med to like....making me functional instead of a rambling disjointed whirlibird of a thought emitter. Problem is, that medication is on back order. Won’t be in until Tuesday. Ugh. Okay, fine. Nothing I can do about it, because while the specific provider I spoke to in order to GET my refill prescriptions was taking an appointment the night before, the actual offices that schedule appointments and connect patients through to their providers was closed for the weekend, so I couldn’t even ask for them to send the scrip somewhere else.

SO. I go back to the CVS on Monday, hoping that maybe it came in early because not like I can do much else in the meanwhile. Course its not there, but oh well. I toy with the idea of calling to ask my provider to send the scrip to a different pharmacy (only had it sent to this one cuz its within walking distance to me, and since I can’t drive for medical reasons and Uber’s are expensive as fuck, just for errands, like, even though walking is sooooo not fun for me physically, like it is what it is). I decide against it because here’s another fun fact about this controlled substance....for security reasons, pharmacies don’t have to tell people over the phone if they have it in stock or not. Like, they won’t just say no we don’t have it in stock - I mean, they WILL say that, but that doesn’t actually mean anything because that’s what most of them say about that particular medication no matter whether or not they DO, and then just cite security protocols, so you have to actually GO to the store in question to ask them and even get a real answer to whether or not they even HAVE it in stock to FILL a prescription if its sent over. And no, the provider won’t just send scrips into several different pharmacies at once and just be whichever has it in stock can fill it - because again, controlled substance.

SO. I decide its not worth it to try getting the scrip sent over somewhere else, because I’d have to at least waste money on an Uber to even travel to various pharmacies and even check if they CAN fill it sooner than this one, when at least this place will have it in tomorrow. Its just one more day at this point.

Except then I go back on Tuesday. Oh sorry, don’t know why that other person told you we’d have our order in today, our shipments of that medication don’t come in until Wednesdays.

So I go back Wednesday. Success! They have it in stock. I go to pay, pulling out my goodRx coupon that was just printed out that morning, specifically citing the price for CVS at Target. The pharmacy manager says sorry, we don’t honor that coupon here for controlled substances like this one. I say: record scratch? He’s like yeah, that’s at the discretion of individual pharmacies, and we don’t honor that price for this specific medication, because we don’t want to attract customers only coming here to get that medication filled for that price. (This pharmacy is right at the edge of Inglewood and Culver City, for anyone who is familiar with those neighborhoods. The implications are exactly as they appear to be). So I’m like, what’s the regular generic price? He quotes me something that’s $180 more than the coupon, and thus $180 more than I have since I was focused totally on getting THIS amount ASAP, so I could get these meds so I could do more work and make more money. You see the train of thought. I’m like well that’s awesome, I don’t have anything close to that. Hey. Weird question. Why did nobody I talked to the past three days in a row that I’ve walked into this store in person to request this refill, like, mention this little tidbit about not honoring this coupon so instead of waiting for a backorder that would do me no good, I could have been spending that time having my prescription transferred somewhere that WOULD honor it?

He’s like, well did you mention to any of them that you’d be using a goodRx coupon for this particular medication? I said, yup. He said, you sure? I said well the specific process each time was I came in, I asked if this medication was in, they said what’s your name and date of birth, I provided that info, they said are you paying out of pocket, we don’t have valid insurance info for this on file for you, I said yup paying out of pocket with a goodRx coupon, they said *clickety clack of the keyboard* nope, sorry, we won’t have this medicine in until Tuesday, I mean Wednesday. 

He’s like, well you must be misremembering or they would have told you at the time that we don’t take GoodRx coupons on this medication. I’m like, dude, it was you. It was literally you that I spoke to two of those three times, right here at the counter, in person. I’m gonna go ahead and trust my memory of those interactions and what was said there over yours since you don’t actually remember having talked to me two times in the last three days. He’s like, I gotta go help another customer. There is no other customer. I leave. Fun day for everyone.

So then I call around town to at least check which CVS will actually honor the coupon I have and the price that I can afford to pay it at. I don’t bother asking if they even have the medication in stock because I know its not guaranteed to be a CORRECT answer, but at least I can see who accepts this damn coupon. Also, reason I’m only trying big brand pharmacies instead of smaller, hole in the wall ones is because again, controlled substance, and I know from experience that the bigger brand pharmacies are at least more likely to have that med in stock whereas most smaller ones tend to run out very quickly as they usually only get enough for their existing/regular customers and a little extra.

I find a CVS five miles away - not walkable, gonna have to Uber. Call my psychiatrist office again to ask them to transfer the scrip, front office says they’ll send the request to my provider, who usually checks and fulfills such requests in 24-48 hours. I’m like okay cool, can I get a phone call to let me know when that happens, so at least I know when to check back to follow up if it hasn’t happened yet for whatever reason? They’re like no, the pharmacy will send you a text or call when they get the prescription sent over and you can take it from there with them. I’m like okay, but I’ve done this a bunch of times and know from experience the pharmacy does NOT in fact always call or text, so is there a certain time to follow up to inquire if the provider has already sent the scrip and the pharmacy SHOULD have it by now or if the delay is on the provider’s end? Front office is like yeah no. I’m like, swell.

So that was yesterday. I call the pharmacy (which I still don’t even know if they have the medication IN STOCK to fill the scrip even once they GET the scrip, and won’t until I can actually Uber out there, but one thing at a time at this point) at like 9 pm, they’re a 24 hour pharmacy, and they’re like nope, we got nothing (this is after spending an hour and a half on hold to even TALK to someone at the pharmacy). Called them again today at noon, still nada. Technically I have another 29 hours before the window in which the provider is supposed to send the refill scrip to this new location, before I can be like, okay so they still haven’t done it, can we send him a nudge or another request. The 24-48 hour window will only actually EXPIRE after their offices close on Friday meaning it’ll be Monday before I can even actually REACH someone again to ask them to send the scrip again, if the pharmacy hasn’t ACTUALLY gotten it by Friday night, and pessimistically, I’m not super inclined to assume that they will at this point. 

I’m antsy, irritable, hungry because I don’t even know for SURE sure if the new pharmacy will ACTUALLY honor the coupon or say no sorry we don’t do that here either, whoever told you that was wrong, or if they’ll even actually have it in stock versus I’ll have to have it sent somewhere else AGAIN, so I have to pinch every penny possible in order to ensure I have the most money possible once my prescription IS filled in case the price is more than I expected again or in case I have to take Ubers there or further than I expected or basically....shit happens that I don’t expect. And this is what I’m basically spending all my time doing instead of working, because trying to get work done in this state is like....the harder I try to make it happen, the less it actually gets done, so I try and prioritize this and its roadblock after roadblock dragging out and wasting my time, and like yeah, I can post and shit while I’m doing this aka sitting on hold or walking around town trying to get shit filled because its fine if I ramble incoherently along the way in posts, but actual WORK work requires like....fucking coherency and succinctness and not having to stop and start every five minutes to call someone else, and oh yeah, being able to power through migraine spikes. And just.

I’m very annoyed about anything and everything to do with this shit. The hoops you have to jump through to even get the stuff that like....actualizes your hoop jumping ability, is just....*gnashing of teeth*

Anyway. So that’s my offline bullshit rant. Yay. The end.

[artificialqueens]

A Head, A Heart, & A Movie {Biadore} Chapter 1 -C*NT

A/N: I want to apologize to all of the mobile readers because this is a 7.5k monstrosity. But on the other hand, I know you guys love the long chapters so I hope you all like this! Sorry it’s been so long since I updated last, I’ve had a battle with writers block and it was winning for quite some time. For those who are just tuning in, this is the sequel story to A Head, A Heart, & A Crown, so it’s set in the same universe. Of course, this AU is about Bianca and Adore begining to film Hurricane Bianca 2, but there is going to be a more established side of Witney for this one(is it really one of my fics if there isnt a side of Witney?) as well. TW for alcohol, a panic attack and weed. And as always, a tad bit of angst. Enjoy!! 💕 PS: If I ever write a short A/N, something is seriously wrong lol.

After an unfortunate flight delay from New York, one lost bag, and an incredibly sleepless night, they had finally made it to Austin, Texas for Hurricane Bianca 2.

It was already a warm day for January, 70 degrees at 9 am. It wasn’t an unusual weather pattern for the south, but it was quite a jump from the 40 degree chill that New York City was currently experiencing. Adore began to feel sticky in the humidity the minute she stepped out of the car as Bianca’s fitted blazer clung to her arms uncomfortably.

Bianca had been smarter: she checked the weather, and had made sure to wear a knee length sundress and lightweight cardigan. Unfortunately, Adore’s role required a more business like approach, so she had no choice but to wear thicker garments. B had given her the thinnest blazer she could find as an effort to help combat the bipolar weather of the south, and hoped Adore wouldn’t drench it in sweat. Especially since they were filming in HD.

They had managed to rent out an adult continuing education school for a couple of days to film some of the classroom scenes, which was way more realistic than doing it in front of a green screen on a Hollywood set. It felt more authentic to Bianca, thus making it easier to get into character

“How are you feeling?” Bianca asked, peering at Adore curiously through her heavily lashed eyelids.

They stepped through the maroon double doors of the school, feeling instant relief as the air conditioner hit their skin. For being an adult school, Bianca was surprised at how well kept it was. It was huge, first of all. There was a large stadium in the back, and the hallways were long and wide. She smirked to herself and thought, that’s what she said. It really was the perfect place for the movie.

Today was their first day on set of Hurricane Bianca 2, and Miss Del Rio would be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous about it. She knew Adore had a little bit of acting experience, but never performed in an actual movie setting before other than on drag race. Which she was fabulous on.

Well, in the last acting challenge of the season anyway.

“I’m great!” Adore bubbled nervously, twirling a piece of blonde hair around her finger.

Adore definitely wasn’t great. Her wig was sticking to her forehead from the humidity, her palms were clammy from nerves, and she had only gotten 2 hours of sleep last night. She had spent the better part of yesterday going over lines on the plane, trying her hardest to drill them into her head. This wasn’t drag race, she couldn’t charm her way through the movie if she didn’t know her lines. She was already feeling like a catastrophe and she hadn’t even uttered her first line.

“You’re doing it again.” Bianca warned, eyeing Adore closely. She had been running her hands through her hair all morning long, which B learned a long time ago was a nervous habit of hers. When she was anxious, Adore was more susceptible to crumbling under the slightest bit of pressure, even if she knew what she was doing. She was easy to psych herself out, which B didn’t understand because she was so talented. She just needed the confidence to go behind it. B was worried about her performance later today, to say the very least.

“Ugh, you know my every weakness!” Adore exclaimed, throwing her hands up in frustration. The last thing she wanted was for Bianca to worry about her today.

Twirling her hair around her fingers was one of many signature nervous habits.

And Adore was incredibly nervous.

This was her first major role on screen since drag race, and it was in Bianca’s movie. She knew she couldn’t possibly afford to fuck it up, and was well aware that she’d be compared to Bianca every second she was on set.

Bianca would work on something until she got the job done, no matter how long that took. Adore on the other hand, could only do so much before she began to fade or lose passion. Whenever she lost passion, she lost interest because she found no point in continuing if she wasn’t giving it her all. She was the type of person that needed to step away from a project and come back to it later.

Their work ethics were quite different, but what worked for Bianca was too intense for Adore, and vice versa. Adore was scheduled on a really intense filming schedule, since she had such a big role - she had been cast as Miss Del Rio’s student teacher who was in almost all of the scenes. She knew it was going to be really challenging for her, but for the time being, Adore didn’t have much of a choice. She would have to do her best to work through the long hours and the many lines of script. All while impressing her peers, and not pissing off Bianca herself.

“You got this, it’ll be okay.” Bianca encouraged warmly, noticing the unusual quiet atmosphere between the two of them. Their heels were clicking together in unison as they walked down the school hallways. Adore found comfort in their walk together, and smiled to herself as she looked down at their coordinated heels: both were wearing modest looking black pumps. The matching shoes had been Adore’s idea, and she didn’t expect B to agree to it - though she was thrilled when she did.

Adore nodded silently as they made their way towards the classroom. It was weird seeing so many cameras inside of a school. Camera men were everywhere, rushing back and forth to get supplies and other equipment ready for the first scene.

They came to a hault in front of the burgundy classroom door, both of them staring nervously at the bright gold star stuck to the center of it that was labeled “Room 5, Miss Del Rio’s Room.” This was it. The begining to their very crazy first day of filming.

Adore reached for the door handle but was stopped abruptly.

“Hey, hang on a second.” Bianca murmured, gently grabbing Adore’s hand.

“What is it?” Adore asked confused. She knew she had been very quiet, but that was mostly because she was running through her lines in her head over and over again. She was just trying to get the right characterization down, which was proving to be more challenging than what she realized.

“Listen, you’re going to be great.” Bianca soothed, stroking Adore’s cheek gently. She swore she melted underneath her warm hands every time. She smiled as Bianca cupped her cheek and pecked it softly. “Please don’t worry. It’s okay to mess up. Nobody is perfect. You should’ve seen me on the set of the first movie, I didn’t know shit!”

Adore smiled at Bianca’s valiant efforts at comforting her in her time of need. She couldn’t imagine Bianca ever truly fucking up at anything, especially since she was such a seasoned performer. In her mind, it was completely unrealistic to even imagine such a thing. But what Bianca was trying to tell her was exactly what she needed to hear, despite it not really breaking down the voice inside her head telling her otherwise.

“Thanks B.” Adore smiled weakly, putting on her best game face.

As soon as they opened the door to the room, they were swarmed by a whirlwind of crew members. People were speaking into walkie talkies, taking notes, and re-arranging cast members. Bianca was immediately surrounded by a swarm of people asking her questions, powdering her face and meticulously checking every single angle of her outfit.

There were already extras waiting on set, sitting down neatly at the schoolroom desks and off to the side of the classroom. The front of the room had a blackboard, podium and teachers desk. It looked just like any real classroom would look.

When the crew was satisfied with Bianca’s appearance, they moved quickly over to Adore. One woman blotted her nose and forehead, while another person removed the lipstick print from her cheek swiftly with a makeup wipe. Bianca had left it no earlier then 2 minutes ago, and just like that it was gone. She was stunned, the crew had combs, wipes, makeup brushes all within reach. Her long blonde waves were combed out a little more by a shy looking intern. When she was satisfied with the way that it looked, she sprayed her vigorously with a can of hairspray. A cloud of product surrounded her, and Adore swore they used at least half of the bottle on her.

“Jeez get the hair, not the actress!” A nearby camera man howled as he saw Adore squint her eyes shut.

“You’re unlockable. It’s not fair.” The intern, who Adore learned was named Mary, muttered. Adore chuckled and thanked her, mentally noting that she already liked the girl.

“Places everyone! Let’s start with Miss Del Rio.” Matt called. The crew shuffled Adore out of the camera’s view and off to the side.

Bianca cleared her throat nervously and looked directly into the camera. She had done this a million times over, but yet felt a little anxious with Adore watching her on the side of the room. She didn’t want to let her down, or make her feel like she had lost her spark.

She smoothed down her white cardigan, and straightened out her paisley print dress. They had gotten a few of the student actors back from the last movie, including her favorite student “Bathmat.” She smirked at her as she spotted her near the back wall of the classroom. The whole bathmat bit from the first movie had been improv on her part, probably her most favorite improvisation she had ever done.

Action!” Matt shouted.

“Guess who’s back? That’s right children, I’m here to actually teach you something this year.” She smiled for the camera and paused dramatically. She slammed her fist down on her podium, startling the students. “You. Yeah, I’m talking to you Bathmat!” Bianca yelled, going deeper into her dialogue as she continued to pick on the girl.

Adore watched in wonder as she breezed through her lines. It was like Bianca had a switch that she would turn on everytime she got in front of a camera. She would go from a normal human being to Bianca Del Rio, one of the only queens that could read you to filth within seconds of meeting you. It was amazing to watch.

“I hate her.”

Adore turned around and noticed Willam had arrived to the set. A day early, Adore realized grimly.

“Why?” Adore asked, making sure she didn’t seem too uninterested in the conversation. She really couldn’t care less about who he hated, but Willam and his antics truly scared her. He was so honest, and always made her feel incredibly stupid whenever they got into debates about current events. She would rather be short with him then spend all of her free time arguing.

“She’s a natural actor, and it’s not fair. I saw her shoot pretty much half of the first movie in just one take. Do you know how fucking rare that is?” Willam hissed into Adore’s ear, trying to talk low so the camera’s wouldn’t pick up the sound.

“You’re telling me.” Adore muttered, now even more nervous than before. Bianca had conveniently failed to mention that part earlier. She had made it seem like she had fucked up a ton when they were talking about the first one on the plane. But seeing that she was clearly over exaggerating to make her feel better, just made her feel even more nervous. She was going to look like a moron if she messed up.

“And cut! Fantastic. Let’s clear the set and prep for Miss Delano’s debut!”

“Fuck me gently!” Adore groaned, but soft enough so only Willam heard. She didn’t wanna seem ungrateful for the opportunity because this whole experience was a huge deal. But at the same time she was terrified.

“Are you nervous?” Willam asked bewildered.

“Of course I am. This is Bianca’s fucking movie.” Adore exclaimed.

“Bitch we were all nervous. We all thought she was gonna kill us every time we fucked up. Every time we’d fuck up, she would give us the worst look ever. I mean, seriously if looks could kill: we all would have died. Then, whenever we were done filming for the day she’d read us all to filth afterwards. But since it’s you, she’ll probably just shove her dick down your throat a few more times than normal and call it a punishment.” Willam shrugged.

Great, like that was going to make her feel better.

Adore heard a loud roar of laughter, and realized that Bianca must have heard the tail end of their conversation. She smirked as she heard B’s signature laugh ring throughout the set, making her chuckle along with her.

“I’m going to shove my foot up your ass if you don’t shut the fuck up.” Bianca exclaimed in between cackles.

“The old man has supersonic hearing.” Willam said annoyed.

“Yeah and you have a thing for imported skinny blonde twinks. Your point?” Bianca cocked her head, grinning at Willam knowingly.

Adore grinned amused at her other half. Bianca winked at her before she turned her attention to one of the crewmembers.

Bianca was talking about Courtney of course. Willam and Courtney had this weird on again, off again fling going on. Sometimes they’d be together, sometimes they wouldn’t. Adore had learned to stop asking about it after awhile, but she knew they made each other happy and they would always made it work when they wanted it to. But when they were on good terms, they also kept their relationship under wraps; probably because they couldn’t stay serious.

However, for the time being they had had some sort of falling out again- usually it was because Willam was a bit of a whore, but Adore was never sure.

Flustered from Bianca’s comment, and now beet red, Willam excused himself to get a glass of water.

“Okay Adore, you’re up.” Matt, the director called.

Adore gulped, feeling the butterflies in her stomach resurface as she was escorted to the front of the classroom. She was suddenly feeling really hot again.

“Okay Adore, do you remember your lines?” Mary asked.

“Yeah totes. I got this!” Adore exclaimed.

“Great! So I’ll count it down then.” Matt said.

Bianca shared a look with her, trying to read her emotions to see if she really ‘had it’. Oddly enough, she couldn’t really tell how she was feeling. Adore looked at peace, despite being a nervous wreck earlier.

“3, 2, 1 and action!”

“Hi, Miss Del Rio?” Adore entered the room, doing her best to look intimidated.

Bianca’s lips twitched up ever so slightly. Adore was starting out strong, already fitting the part as the incredibly hot student teacher. It reminded her of the beginning of a cheesy porno, where the hot girl teases the teacher and acts innocently before they fucked. Before Bianca lost it and ruined the scene for the both of them, she did her best to correct herself, making sure that she was giving Adore the meanest mug of her life.

“Who the fuck are you?” Bianca snapped, making sure to scan Adore’s outfit with disgust. Adore was dressed very much out of character, in a small knee length plaid pencil skirt and black blazer. She was holding a binder and a clipboard as well, and had a small black satchel wrapped around her body.

“I’m your new student teacher!” Adore exclaimed excitedly.

“You must have the wrong classroom sweetie. I don’t do student teachers.” Bianca sneered putting air quotes around student teachers.

“Well…” Adore trailed off.

Fuck. Her line. What was her next line?

There was an awkward pause. Bianca froze as she began to see Adore’s mask come off. She looked petrified. She had forgotton her line.

Ugh, she had told her she needed to go over her lines more.

“Line?” Adore asked meekly.

“Cut!” Matt called. “Can we get Adore her line?”

“ ‘Well, you don’t have to do me Miss Del Rio, but you can give me a task to help the students with.’”Mary read from the script.

“Oh okay!” Adore said, running the lines through her head a couple more times.

Bianca waited patiently as Adore mouthed the lines quickly over and over again.

“It’s okay Adore. You’re doing good so far.” Bianca encouraged.

“I’m ready.” Adore announced.

“Great.” Matt said monotonically. “Action.”

“Well, you don’t have to do me Miss Del Rio, but you can at least give me a task to help the students with.” Adore snapped back bitchily.

Just a minor setback: you got this, Adore thought.

“Miss Delano was it?” Bianca asked sweetly, stepping towards her. Her heels clicked ominously against the tile as she approached the young girl. She stopped, standing only inches away from her. She glared at her through her heavily lined eyes, making sure she had her attention.

“Y-yes.” Adore stammered.

“First of all, your skirt doesn’t match your outfit. Secondly, this is my classroom which means it’s my rules. If you want any chance at doing anything successfully as a teacher, you will listen to me. Understood?” Bianca spat, lips only inches away from hers now. She did her best to glare deeply into the younger queen’s eyes, resisting the urge to kiss her plump, pink lips.

Adore was so shocked by how well Bianca just acted that she erupted into nervous laughter. First it started out as a giggle, then it turned into a long roar. The laugh went on for a few minutes, varying from cackling to pure hysteria.

The room was silent as Adore laughed loudly to herself. If you dropped a pin on the floor, you would probably be able to hear it from the parking lot.

Bianca froze, her heart pounding nervously as she scanned the room. The classroom shared the same look of confusion and being absolutely mortified at the same time. She was afraid to even look at Matt, hoping that he wouldn’t be getting too frustrated with Adore. This was only the second time she had messed up, but she had already been somewhat unprofessional on set.

Bianca didn’t know what had come over her, maybe it was the nerves; but she could not stop laughing for whatever reason. She began fidgeting nervously with her rings, twisting and turning as she pretended to disappear. She sent up a silent prayer, hoping Matt wouldn’t yell at Adore.

Get it together Adore, Adore thought to herself.

Adore was trying her hardest to hold it together and calm down, and finally got herself down to a giggle when she looked around the room.

Matt, the director, didn’t look the slightest bit amused. The crew was silent, they all looked incredibly uncomfortable - some even looked afraid by the sudden outburst.

Then she looked up at Bianca, who looked horrified. Adore felt her heart stop as she saw how grim Bianca looked. Her lips were pursed tightly together as she had her arms crossed in front of her.

Fuck.

She was fucking up her movie.

Everything that Adore had reassured Bianca wouldn’t happen, was happening, She wanted to he professional for her, and make the role work for her. She wished she could just erase what had happened just now, but alas it happened. Now Bianca probably thought she didn’t know what the fuck she was doing, and most likely had zero confidence in her ability to act professional.

She didn’t want to look like a failure to her.

She felt her chest tightening and tears start to sting her eyes as they threatened to come out. Her heart ached, she felt like shit.

She was humiliated.

She felt like she was going to have a panic attack.

Everyone in the room was staring at her, waiting for her to explain herself.

Adore felt her chest tightening as she tried to figure out what to say. She was finding it harder to breathe in the tense atmosphere. She saw two makeup artists share a look and Adore realized something. They were all thinking that the rumors that they had heard about her were true. That she was lazy, unprepared, and unprofessional. It was written all over their faces.

“I, um. I need a minute.” Adore gasped, turning away from Bianca and running out of the room.

Bianca looked after her with wide eyes as the door slammed shut behind her. What the fuck just happened?

“It’s a good thing she’s charismatic.” Willam mumbled, leaning against the far wall of the classroom. He was happy he wasn’t the center of attention for the time being.

“Shut the fuck up Willam.” Bianca snapped irritated. His commentary was underappreciated, and Bianca was one snarky comment away from punching him in the face.

“Can you go and talk to her? We’re on a pretty tight schedule.” Matt asked annoyed, examining his clipboard.

“Certainly. I sincerely apologize.” Bianca said, rushing out of the classroom.

———————–

Adore was standing in the unisex bathroom, trying to get her breathing under control,

She had to go back in there.

Why was she like this?

She looked at herself in the mirror as she wondered.

What made her act like this?

She sighed as she turned on the water faucet, splashing water on her cheeks where the mascara had run. She had been crying from the second she ran out of the room and hadn’t stopped. Her eyes stung from the mascara irritating her tear ducts.

“Why can’t I be more like her?” Adore asked herself, thinking about Bianca and her strong work ethic. Why couldn’t she be mature enough to handle a serious gig? She sighed to herself, feeling a breakdown coming as she dried her hands with a papertowel.

“You can.”

Adore jumped at the unexpected voice. Startled, she turned around and saw Bianca staring at her sadly.

“When did you get here?” Adore frowned, even more embarrassed now than before.

“About a minute ago.” Bianca answered, as she leaned against one of the bathroom stalls. “Nice to know these are just as disgusting as how I remembered them.”

Adore giggled softly, but then stopped when she looked in the mirror at her. Bianca looked visibly upset. It wasnt often B let her guard down enough for you to actually read her real emotions, but she could tell she was disappointed in her.

“Look, B I’m really sorry. I don’t know what came over me. You were just so impressive, and I knew you were amazing but I guess I never realized how incredible of an actor you really are. When we were doing that scene, you just blew me away and I guess I just didn’t know how else to react.” Adore confessed.

“Adore, this is a serious job. This isn’t a gig at a club or a concert.” Bianca started. “I didn’t expect you to memorize all of your lines, but I did expect you to act professional.”

“You’re saying a concert isn’t a serious job?” Adore raised her voice annoyed, bypassing the second half of what Bianca had said to her. What, so now her work wasn’t valid?

Bianca had instantly regretted her words the minute they left her lips. She sighed frustrated.

“That’s not what I’m saying.” Bianca groaned.

“Do you realize I perform live in front of an audience of at least a couple thousand people now? I have to train my voice vigorously and follow a strict diet. I have to eat foods that nourish my vocal chords at least once a day, otherwise my performance is altered. I practice singing every single day. Somedays I can hardly even speak, you of all people should know that.” Adore snapped.

“Adore, your work is valid. I know what you do is hard. What I was trying to say, was that being in a movie is a different kind of hard. One that you aren’t necessarily used to. Not even well trained actors are used to this-”

“I’m not stupid. I don’t have to be a well trained actor to do well in your movie Roy.” Adore spat. She was angry now. B clearly thought that she was a complete idiot, and didn’t understand how being part of a film worked at all. Yes it was foreign to her, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t acclimate to it.

Bianca felt her throat close as Adore’s blue eyes pierced hers angrily. She really didn’t mean to upset her, she was just trying to explain the difference to her. She thought maybe it would help calm her down enough to go back to the set.

Clearly, that wasn’t happening now.

“Well, you’re obviously in the wrong state of mind to continue filming today. I’ll go tell Matt-”

“No. We’re fucking finishing this today. I’m not a diva that has a meltdown and just walks off when shit hits the fan.” Adore interrupted, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “I’ll meet you back on set. We’ve already lost enough time.”

Adore stormed out of the bathroom and left a very confused yet stunned Bianca in her dust.

I’ll show her, Adore thought.

————————–

“Action.” Matt called wearily, noticing the tense atmosphere between the two of them.

Bianca and Adore had resumed their positions in the scene. The tension between them was very thick, the rest of the cast could tell something had happened between the two of them once they had returned. Usually Bianca would tease the other crew members and joke around with everyone, but instead she stood rigidly as they touched up her hair and makeup. The room had been unusually quiet, until they had begun the scene again anyway.

“My skirt may not match my outfit, but at least I know how to apply makeup for daytime. Have you ever heard of a color other than black?” Adore grimaced, gesturing to Bianca’s heavy eyeshadow.

The two had no problem going through the rest of their lines, especially since the scripted exchange was negative. Adore felt like she wasn’t even acting anymore, she was allowing herself to truly be a bitch to Bianca.

So this is what it felt like to get into character, Adore thought.

Bianca was impressed. Adore had whizzed through the rest of her lines in one take, which was the exact opposite of what she had expected from her, especially after her mini meltdown. They had bounced lines off of each other seamlessly, proving that they worked very well together.

“Cut. Your guys’s chemistry is…incredible.” Matt said stunned. “Adore, I am pretty impressed with you. One meltdown isn’t bad at all for your first day.”

Bianca felt relieved to hear Matt say that. She knew from the past that he had a bit of a short fuse, so knowing that Adore’s performance had impressed him was a relief. During the first movie, he had fired 5 actors for forgetting their lines on the third try. He was a hardcore director, but he knew how to get the job done, which Bianca respected.

“Thanks man!” Adore said excitedly. “I’m not a trained actor, but I know how to spit my lines.”

Bianca swore Adore gave her side eye as she spoke to Matt. She groaned internally as she realized Adore was still pissed off at her for their conversation earlier.

She would never hear the end of this. Not until the end of time. Adore truly proved her wrong.

“Wow, looks like your girl is just as good of an actor as you are.” Willam commented.

“Of course she is. Did you really ever doubt her?” Bianca asked.

“No, but you did.” Adore hissed, walking past Bianca swiftly as she exited the classroom. She let the door shut loudly behind her, and Willam visibly winced.

“Out of all of the people that could’ve been in the dog house today, I truly did not expect it to be you Del Rio.” Willam mused.

“Willam, why the fuck are you here?” Bianca changed the subject annoyed.

“I had a gig in Austin last night and decided to come join the party.” Willam smirked, throwing his arm around Bianca’s shoulder as they left the room. “Besides, I need to pick your brain about Court.”

Bianca groaned as they walked out of the school and into the parking lot of the school. The last thing she wanted to do was to even try to begin to understand the fucking relationship between the two of them.

“Can we do that later? I have some damage control to take care of.” Bianca questioned.

“Sure. Meet me at the bar down the street later.” Willam called.

“Not likely.” Bianca grumbled as she power walked to her rental car. The kinds of bars Willam liked were not her cup of tea. She would make him go to a bar she preferred; if she even met up with him at all. She was expecting to see Adore waiting by the car, but was surprised when she realized she was nowhere in sight.

Was she really that extra that she would take a fucking Lyft back to the hotel? Her phone buzzed in her hand, and she looked down just in time.

Adore:I took a Lyft. I’ll meet you at the hotel later.

Bianca sighed heavily. This was the first time she had really fucked up since they had gotten together. She really didn’t mean to upset Adore, but the situation had escalated so fast she didn’t know how to stop it from snowballing further.

Maybe Adore just needed time to cool off, she thought. She exited out of their conversation, and began to type a new message. It had been quite a rough first day, so she decided maybe she would take Willam up on that drink after all.

BDR:Meet me at the bar on 2nd street in an hour.

Willam:What happened to defusing the bomb?

BDR:I’ll tell you when I see you.

She shoved the phone back into her purse, and got into her car.

She didn’t know what haf d came over her, but since Court wasn’t here, she had no other option but to vent to Willam about all of this. Hopefully he would actually give a shit about her problems, and not make it about himself.

—————

After de-dragging and slathering his face in expensive moisturizer, Roy left the empty hotel room and ended up at a very modern looking bar with an already very buzzed Willam. He idly wondered where Adore had gone off to, but he pushed the thought away as he listened to Willam vent.

“So I told her, it’s either me or the dating show. And she chose the dating show! Like, I understand that she wants to stay relevant and meet new people but seriously? I have to see her instagram live go off every few hours, and it’s her with all of these different men. They’re all gorgeous too. It fucking sucks.” Willam complained, taking a sip of his cocktail.

Roy knew that Courtney had an odd obsession with staying in the public eye, but he didn’t think Willam was telling the whole story. Courtney wouldn’t just go on a dating show out of the blue like that. Especially since he knew how Court felt about Willam. She wouldn’t give that up for no reason.

“And you swear you did nothing to push her towards that decision?” Roy queried, scrolling through Courtney’s instagram. Her whole page was full of content from the new reality show. There were videos of her dancing with very attractive men, selfies, and pictures from a wild party that she had thrown in Austrailia.

“I swear!” Willam yelled, a bit too passionately. The bartender jumped, turned around and gave Willam the side eye before she continued mixing a drink for another customer.

“Okay, cool it. I don’t want spit in my next drink.” Roy hushed, lowering his voice hoping Willam would take the hint. Willam rolled his eyes and took another sip of his drink, shugging. Roy didn’t know how he didn’t see what Courtney was trying to do. It was so obvious it was almost adolescent.

“I know for a fact you aren’t telling me the whole story. Because it’s clear as day that Courtney is trying to make you jealous.” Roy explained sternly.

“Well I mean, I might be omitting the truth a little bit…” Willam trailed off playfully.

“Okay, so explain that to me then.” Roy huffed frustrated, finishing his drink and sliding it away. He waved the bartender down, flashing a 20 at her to get her attention. He was going to need more than two drinks to deal with this.

“I may have said that I wanted an open relationship.” Willam shrugged. “I didn’t think her going on dates with other people would bother me so much though!”

“That’s because YOU’RE usually the one messing around with other people, while she’s staying exclusive to you.”

“Well I don’t like her with other people damnit!” Willam snapped.

“Then when she gets back, you need to tell her that.” Roy explained. “If you really care about her, it’s what you have to do. No more games, no more bullshit.”

“You’re a smart old man. I hope I can be smart when I’m as old as you.” Willam smirked.

“And you’re clearly feeling better.” Roy said dryly.

On cue, the bartender set down their next round, and Roy slipped the 20 to her; encouraging her to keep the change for having to put up with Willam’s antics. She warmly thanked him and left to go help the other guests.

They sipped their drinks in silence for a few minutes, enjoying each others company. Willam was always interesting company to hang out with, he always had something fun to talk about, or something to say regardless of the subject matter at hand.

“So.” Willam started, setting his drink down, “You had your first major fuckup today didn’t you?”

Willam was also keen on reading people’s emotions, even Roy’s. Which was impressive, because Roy always made sure to keep his face as neutral as possible especially when he felt upset.

“Clearly. I was only trying to help.” Roy sighed, hanging his head down in frustration.

“What exactly did you even say? I’ve never seen her that pissed off before.”

Roy groaned as he went through the conversation in his head again, trying to remember every last miserable detail. The anger flashing through her eyes, the hurt written all over her face. He truly felt terrible about what he had said, and didn’t know what to do to fix it.

“I was trying to comfort her, and I said that not even well trained actors could do well in movies.” Roy muttered.

“That’s true, but that’s not what set her off.” Willam stated. “It would’ve been something more than that.”

“Well, I tried explaining to her that being in a movie and performing in a concert are two very different things. You can’t just wing it for a movie like you can during a-”

“Stop. Do you realize what you’ve done? Jesus Roy.” Willam interrupted, staring at Roy with wide eyes.

“What did I do?” Roy asked bewildered. “Please enlighten me because I don’t know what the fuck I did wrong.”

“You completely underestimated her. First of all, performing at a concert IS different but the majority of it is still scripted if you think about it. Adore usually follows a general setlist at all of her shows. If something does go wrong, yes, she can improvise and fans will still be okay with it but honestly? It’s not that different from being in a movie. The environment is different and there’s singing and a band but that’s it really. It’s still show business.” Willam explained.

Roy nodded as he realized how he spoke to Adore had been really condescending. No wonder she had looked so upsetz

“I talked to her like a child, which probably made it worse.” Roy admitted with realization written all over his face.

“Probably.” Willam agreed sullenly.

“I didn’t realize how much I cared about her until today.” Roy confessed.

“Gross. Go whisper that in her ear or something.” Willam rolled his eyes.

Roy downed the rest of his drink and stood up.

“I think I will. Thanks for listening.” Roy patted Willam on the back before he walked away.

“Don’t forget to douche!” Willam called after him.

——————-

When Roy got back to their room, Danny was already home, de-dragged, and on the balcony smoking a joint. Roy sighed in relief at the sight of his boyfriend. He just wanted to fix things between them, but for the moment he was fixated on his ass. He was wearing a beanie and his favorite black pajamas, which meant he had been here for awhile now.

Despite what everyone thought, Danny was actually somewhat hygienic.Not when it came to his dirty laundry or makeup, but when it came to showering he was very precise. He wouldn’t just get home and change into something more comfortable. He would go through a ritual, removing his wig, then clothes, and then going directly into the shower. It was pretty cute. Roy felt his heart flutter at how sexy he looked in all black as he scanned his boyfriend up and down.

Danny turned around, feeling eyes on his backside and met Roy’s gaze through the sliding glass door.

Roy bit his lip and looked away, pretending that he hadn’t been staring but it was too late. Danny smirked slightly before he turned back around.

It was now or never, Roy thought.

Roy stepped outside and sat down on their patio. Nestling his back into the cheap paisley print outdoor pillows, he sighed loudly as he attempted to get Danny’s attention.

“You don’t have to speak to me, or even acknowledge me if you don’t want to.” Roy began, taking a deep breath. “But I owe you an apology.”

Danny inhaled deeply, letting himself focus on the smoke hitting his lungs.

It wasn’t like Roy to apologize. He was stubborn, and would’ve stayed firm to what he had said to him unless someone interfered. Which meant he had to actually vent to someone about what had happened.

Danny was impressed that Roy had even let his guard down enough to do that. Despite them both having their relationship public, they kept their sex life and other details very private.

That didn’t mean he didn’t feel hurt about what had happened. Danny took his job as a drag artist very seriously, and to have him take his talent for granted reminded him of his early days where he was consistently being invalidated by other queens. It had hurt to come from Roy of all people, who had defended him against the very kinds of people in the past.

“I was wrong to say those things to you,” Roy continued, silently noting that Danny’s shoulders were starting to relax as he processed what he was saying to him, “Singing is just as valid of a performing art as acting is, and not just anyone can do show business. But you can sing, act, and dance. You really impressed me today, and I promise I’ll never underestimate you ever again.”

Danny smiled, elated that he had impressed Roy with his first day despite the mental breakdown in the middle of it all. He was relieved that Roy had realized he was wrong, and that they were okay again.

“I told you man, I can fucking act.” Danny laughed lightheartedly, pressing the last of his joint into the ashtray next to him.

Roy chuckled, shaking his head.

“Apology accepted. I’m sorry I freaked out. You’re like scary good at acting. It’s fucking goom.” Adore drawled.

“Oh god, enough with the ‘goom.’” Roy rolled his eyes playfully.

“Grumpy man.” Danny muttered.

“So we’re okay then?” Roy asked, cocking an eyebrow upwards as he scooted closer to Danny.

“Of course baby. Nothing can’t break us.” Danny smiled, pulling Roy close to him by his black v neck. Their lips met, and Roy smiled through the kiss.

No matter how many times he kissed Danny, he always got butterflies. He would never get tired of it. He always felt the same as when their lips met for the very first time, butterflies fluttering through his stomach like a little school girl.

Danny pulled away, smiling widely.

“What is it?” Roy asked smiling wide, showing off his signature dimples.

“Nothing, I just really enjoy being with you.” Danny mused.

They hadn’t said the lovely L word to each other yet. Danny knew he loved Roy, especially after Roy shared his crown with him on the night that she lost All Stars 2. But Danny didn’t want to be the one to say it first and scare him away. He had done that too many times in the past, and didn’t want to fuck things up between the two of them. Plus Roy could be very particular when it came to certain emotions, and Danny had known him long enough to know that love wasn’t something Bianca Del Rio usually associated herself with.

Danny didn’t mind enjoying the relationship the way it was. Other then today, they really hadn’t fought since they actually got together. He knew it was because they were still kind of in the honeymoon stage, but he felt like they could’ve fought a lot more over the last few months. He was thankful that they didn’t.

Roy was thankful that the silence between the two of them was comfortable. They were lost in their own thoughts, and Roy was thinking about home. He hadn’t been back to New Orleans to see his parents in a while now, almost a year. He wondered silently how they would feel about Danny, especially since he looked much younger than him. The first question they would ask him would be his age, and after that his ethnicity. Which he was not looking forward to.

On the other hand, Roy knew that Danny and his mom would get along great. Dan had that infectious personality thay could mesh well with pretty much anyone. He could talk to anyone in any age group and have something in common. It was unfair, Roy was 42 and still didn’t have that skill.

Roy hadn’t brought a man home in a really long time. The last time was over 15 years ago, and his parents had ended up hating him. Turns out, they had a good intuition about him because he ended up leaving Roy for a woman.

His mom would know the minute he brought him home that the way he feels about Danny is serious, which scares Roy. Especially because there’s always that small possibility that they won’t like him.

That also meant that for the first time in a really long time Roy was in love. He had made up a silent rule with himself: don’t bring home a man unless you know you love him.

He had known for awhile that he loved Danny. He didn’t know how the fuck to tell him though. Roy hadn’t loved another person in almost 15 years. It was different now. He was older, he didn’t know if he was supposed to say it in a grand way, or if he was supposed to just blurt it out over donuts at 6 am.

Once he figured it out, he’d say it to him. But for now, he planned on keeping it to himself.

“Let’s go inside.” Danny suggested, finally breaking the silence. He had been studying Roy for what felt like forever, but he had been so engrossed in his thoughts Roy hadn’t noticed.

The two of them got up from the patio, and walked back into the hotel room. On cue, a loud knock sounded against the door.

“Who the fuck is here? I swear to god if it’s Willam-” Roy started, unlocking the door.

At the door was an upset looking Shane. He looked like the shell of himself. He was covered in a large white sweatshirt and baggy grey sweatpants. He had a single bag strapped across his shoulder, and his skin looked sallow and dry,

He was an absolute mess.

A mess neither one of them were prepared for.

[canaryatlaw]

Well, today was alright. Kinda crappy at some points, but not horrible. It all started of course with me wanting to be lazy, so when my alarm went off at 9:25 I half awake figured I could sleep till 10:10 if I ubered to the gyno instead of taking public transportation, so I set my alarm for 10:10- or at least I thought I did. Nope. I was still half asleep while setting it and accidentally set it for 11:10 instead. So it goes off then and I realize what happens, and that my gyno appointment is in 5 minutes. Fuck. So I call them and tell them I messed up my appointment and if they could get me in any other time today, and they said they could do 1 and I needed to get there so I said good I'll be there. The only issue was that I had a haircut appointment booked for 1, lol. So I got on the phone with ulta to try and reschedule that, but of course the lady that cuts my hair has a super busy schedule and I have a super busy schedule and it just wasn't gonna work, so the receptionist and I resolved she'd call me when she gets in and we'd figure it out. So I got ready and walked to the train, then once again managed to mess shit up. I looked up directions to the doctors office last night, I had been there before but I was trying a train route this time instead of a bus one. Only problem is I guess I looked at them too quickly and got off on totally the wrong stop, and instead of being a 10 minute walk from there to the doctor it was gonna be a 30 minute walk, and oh, my appointment was in 5 minutes (again). Fuck. It is really not my day with timing. So I hop on my Lyft app and get one pretty quickly, and only ended up being like 10 minutes left which was relieving. I had to wait a little bit, but the I got called back. Last time I was there for more birth control he made me promise I would come back for my annual in March cuz I was due for a Pap smear and everything, so here I was. Now, I'm sure I'm not alone in this feeling, but I do not like going to the gyno, even though I quite like my actual Doctor. He has a great bedside manner at least. I've had two Pap smears done before, and I remember them being painful, but HOLY SHIT it fucking hurt so bad I actually was saying ow out loud, something that I wasn't doing when they stuck a needle instead my forearm bone and were using it to shove my bones around in there. It was really, really bad. Thankfully it wasn't all that long, and from there it was just a quick pelvic exam and we were good. Ugh. Like I get why I have to go in, but it just sucks cuz like, I'm not having sex with anyone and the whole thing is just awkward. Oh well, at least it's done now. Set up the birth control to come through the mail system my insurance uses and I was good to go. The building is kind of a mish mosh of different things, there's doctors offices, apartments, coffee shops and even an ace hardware. I was kind of dawdling for a bit because I was looking for this chocolate I had tried from Walgreens a few weeks back and liked, and then was playing phone tag with my hair stylist haha by after a few times we got each other and tried every possible combination between our two schedules this week and it just could not work, and of course she's training all next week, so we ended up having to delay it until 2 weeks from now, which means my hair is gonna be even longer and unruly but I guess I'll just have to make do. Hopped on a bus back to school and went to the PAD office to try and get my crim pro reading done, which wasn't all that successful but I read the case briefs at least. I was nervous throughout class that she was gonna cold call me since I passed last week, but I don't think she actually cold called anyone today since she generally only does it if nobody volunteers, so that was good. I was probably tuned out for most of the class (kind of a habit at this point) and I commented thank you on everyone who wrote happy birthday to me on my Facebook wall, lol. We did get into an interesting convo about the adversarial-ness that should exist between two sides, should they be at each other's throats or is it better to be friends? So others were giving their opinion and I raise my hand and start saying how my dad knew a lawyer who filed an excessive force claim in every single case and it pissed off the ADA's so much and at the end of the day that's just gonna hurt your client if the other side has a grudge against you, and my prof was just like "finally someone said what I've been waiting for- it's not about how you feel, it's always about what's best for your client" so I felt a by accomplished with that. After class I went home and decided to turn on the flash, since I'm behind on all my superhero shows except legends this week. It was a decent episode, did feel like somewhat of a bottle episode to me, or at least a filler just to drag things out a bit before the epic final showdown. I did find the villain enticing though, and the actor played him to perfection. Still don't know how I feel about Cynthia and Cisco, or about how I feel about Cynthia's actions in this episode. Man, poor Joe. I felt so bad for him in this episode. His whole monologue talking about how he would stay up at night when she was a baby just to make sure she was still breathing because he was afraid if he wasn't there he'd stop- like, that hit me so hard because I can totally relate to that feeling with my sister. I've brought myself into full on hysterics on several occasions just on the thought that something might happen to her- I really cannot imagine what that must be like for him. So awful. Of course I think we'd have trouble giving much credit to anything the guy says, but that's a different story. The whole Julian/Caitlin plot was interesting, I'm glad they at least resolved some stuff between them. The whole surgery situation was all kinds of ridiculous, like I'm sorry that's just not physically possible haha not gonna happen. And then of course the ending scene, she was flat lining and I was like screaming at the tv JUST TAKE THE DAMN NECKLACE OFF ALREADY! I mean I knew she wasn't gonna be really dead, so they obviously had to fix that quickly which they did. Of course they were teasing killer frost all season and now it looks like we'll get her full blown. I'm like, excited to see the character but also sad for Caitlin because I love her character so much and I don't want this for her. Also, I've gotten so bad with tv character deaths. I'm literally at the point where I never believe they're happening. Like nope, they're not really dead, they'll be back, and the crazy part is most of the time I am right....(I maintain that I am 100% right about Snart on these grounds) but of course eventually there will be a real one and I'll be very pissed. While I was watching the flash my computer started to have some weird meltdown I couldn't figure out, so I got on the apple support website from my phone and was trying different stuff but nothing was working right, so I just gave up and made a Genius Bar appointment for after class on Friday since I'll be out and not have my laptop with me all day tomorrow, so it's not too bad of a waiting period, just annoying. But yeah, I'm not doing too great on the exhausted front this week, as you might've been able to tell by my morning actions described above, so in that note I am going to let my very eyelids close now and hopefully get some sleep (something short of 6 hours, unfortunately). Goodnight friends. Have a lovely rest of your week.