#sorry for that tag people in the eene tag it makes sense in context

[lastweeksshirttonight]

Guess who's back

Lee is back, tell a friend.

I know I let this project sit fallow for the last few weeks, but I'm gonna kick it back in gear - especially now that we don't have any new LWTs to pick apart every week.

Last Lee Tonight (wherein Lee is still alive, he promises) Season One, Episode Five

(original air date: 6/8/2014) Major topics covered: Net Neutrality, the spelling bee, European elections

"Is there anyone into both anti-Zionist conspiracy theories AND smooth jazz?"

Welcome back from our mini-break! When we last left off, Last Week Tonight was still trying to figure out how, exactly, to structure its show, now that it's determined longer-form dissections of issues can and will work as stand-alone viral bits. This episode is, at least in some respects, where things start gelling into the format we know and love - and gives us our first really big viral bit from the show. I think this, more than the episode on the death penalty, is where LWT really starts to take shape.

Our episode is a rare start where John does not slap his desk a lot, but instead bobs around like a weird bird while everyone claps. It is delightful and important for you to know this, and he should do this more often. (Did you know that one of my main character traits is 'strong opinions about objectively useless shit'? SURPRISE IT IS)

The episode kicks off discussing a surge of far-right victories in European elections. Good to know people were worried about this getting out of hand in 2014. John makes it very clear this is a bad sign - "when Europe goes far right, they go far right through Belgium" is an amazing joke - and showcases multiple far-right Nazi groups that now have seats in their countries' governments. I hate how numb to a lot of this shit I am now because of the US' slow descent into fascism, but this was a startling warning sign at the time.

In contrast, Ukraine elected a chocolate baron as their president, and John takes the opportunity to sing badly and "whimsically". My heart.

Next is an update on Afghanistan, and a new plan for pulling out of the country by the end of 2014. Or the end of 2015. They've been just about to leave Afghanistan for a long time, and John has some further updates on plans going into 2016 and 2017.

These first bits before the "And Now This" feel a lot more like the modern introductory sections of Last Week Tonight. Everything aside from the brief Afghanistan update is centered around one singular theme (European elections), goes on for about 6 minutes (leaving plenty of time for the main topics), and goes into at least slight depth about the news (unlike earlier, extremely brief tossed-off news updates that expected at least a modicum of familiarity with current events). Things are starting to come together everyone!

Our first "And Now This" is about Jay Carney resigning from being White House Press Secretary, which they frame his resignation speech declaring his respect and love for the job with clips of him getting irritated, bemused, and drained by the idiocy of the press pool he dealt with. I honestly completely forgot this guy existed but all the memories of those Obama-era press conferences came back hard to me while watching this clip.

The first main story starts with the Internet, and John going on an extremely long tangent about buying coyote urine before bringing us to the actual topic - Net Neutrality.

This episode had a massive social impact when it aired in 2014. I remember this being such a huge deal, it seemed like every news organization was covering John's show and, through that coverage, informing the public about why net neutrality would be an absolute disaster for the US. Looking at this now, it also was a huge turning point in the marketing of the show - I've mentioned multiple times for previous episodes that the YouTube clips pulled from each episode so far make absolutely no sense, sometimes chopping up bits and not showing full context (like with the GM recalls), sometimes having shorter and longer versions of the same thing (like with the climate debate and the Bill Nye cameo). This episode marks the first time I can share the entirety of the episode's main bit with you as a YouTube video. It is absolutely wild to think that most audience's main way of interacting with this show, through longform YouTube bits, was not a thing at the start.

While the YouTube channel continues to have some smaller fragments of LWT episodes from this point on (usually the smaller intro bits or episode enders divorced from the main topic), and episode 7 inexplicably doesn't have video of its main topic at all (oh boy, that'll make my write up fun), by episode 8, the main subject of every episode has its own longform YouTube clip.

Here's the net neutrality clip for your viewing pleasure:

John opens the clip noting that discussions of net neutrality are boring as shit, saying he'd rather watch Caillou with his niece than listen to them. That's one of the most casually damning insults I've ever heard, because Caillou is fucking terrible. But net neutrality, I think as we all know now, is extremely important to the function of the internet as we know it.

I said I won't go deeply through each bit on a technical level, and this clip is very technical. It shows really well how LWT, at its best, really breaks down a complex issue and makes it easy to understand - and easy to get incensed about. Helps that cable companies get shit on CONSTANTLY in this one. I am still ready to destroy Spectrum over my early year internet fuckery.

I wish I remembered what I put in that FCC comment website, lol.

The episode shifts to another Other Countries' Presidents of the United States, which focuses on Tony Abbott of Australia, a religiously anti-immigrant shitheel who was an immigrant to Australia himself. It's always projection with these idiots. He's got a cavalcade of bad thoughts and ideas, a lot of which feel like they were pulled directly from a Thick of It episode. "I've given you the response you deserve", Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ.

He also looks a bit like a Paul Scheer character. I can't unsee it.

The last segment of the episode focuses on the Scripps National Spelling Bee. I made it to the regional tournament for this godawful stress-inducing nightmare in middle school, and I'm pretty sure the only reason I got that far is because my dad promised to buy me the Game Boy Advance game 'Ed Edd n Eddy: Jawbreakers' if I made it to state. I did not make it, and my dad felt so bad about it that he still bought me the game. I loved that game far more than I ever loved the goddamn spelling bee.

As an expert on this subject, "the Hunger Games of the mind" is a super accurate assessment and I related very very hard to the girl who said she was going to get every horror movie ever upon losing. I did much the same, except with Ed Edd n Eddy. (I was fucking obsessed with that show.)

I have to note that John also says "pop that pussy" in this clip. This is of interest to me and my gremlin followers.

Also Jesus Christ, Chris Cuomo, go to a fucking fight club or something to get out that Mortal Kombat-ass rage. My God, you absolute lunatic.

Random notes:

Lee obviously focuses on important things corner: plum tie, light blue shirt, dark gray jacket, holy shit it is too early for me to be this flustered. A LOOK. 10/10 no notes

Weird items from the Last Week Tonight YouTube page: a video of a singular joke from the Net Neutrality clip. I am not entirely sure what they were going for here - did they think one joke might go more viral than an entire 15 minute clip? Did they make this as a lead-in on a long-lost corporate website? Did they predict TikTok? I have so many questions.

A couple of years after the Spelling Bee bit, in 2016, John sent his congratulations to Scripps for their 90 year anniversary and some encouragement to participants. This is worth watching because a) all-ages/family-friendly John content is generally adorable and this is no exception, and b) John is smoking hot in it. Not even including the 'imo' there, he just IS. 11/10. 12/10 even. Ranking scale destroyed.

I would ask you all to guess who my favorite character on Ed Edd n Eddy was, but I am such a stereotype of a human being that if you guessed anyone other than Double D, you don't know me at all. Also this show is still hilarious as an adult, and I maybe got sidetracked watching a bunch of clips of it this morning.