#sorry for speaking like this is my magnum opus and everyone needs to look at it. I just dont know when I'll ever create smth like this agai

[tubbytarchia]

Sorry, last one, swear!! I'll try and finish this by the 10th and then I will leave you all alone. I'm experiencing some long missed joy in creating this, please forgive my impatient excitement

[thatbigbisexual29]

Revenge Is A Dish Best Served.... Spider (ATSV)

GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY IT IS FINISHED!!! MY MAGNUM OPUS!!!! So... hi everyone! I'm so sorry this fic took so long! I got caught up with life stuff and my writer's inspo kept leaving me when I needed it most ;-; But it's now done! So now I post it! Also its super fricken long sorry about that lols. ANyways, enjoy and eat up my lovlies! ^<^

There he was. Perfect timing. Perfect position. Perfect opportunity. Three spidermen stood and watched their older counterpart closely with crossed arms.

“He’s asleep.”

“He’s wide open.”

“He’ll kill us if we go through with this.”

The three teens, Miles, Pavitr, and Gwen, all took pause and thought for a moment. The one they were looking at was none other than Hobie Brown, asleep and outstretched on Miles’ parents sofa. It was an amusing sight. The teen was waaaaay too big for the couch. Hobie laid on his stomach with his arms outstretched over one arm of the couch, and his legs dangling over the other arm. And he had a small flock of spider-teens observing him with crossed arms.

The three had recently come across the fact that they had all been targeted and sentenced to tickling by the punk. They came to this realization as they were watching a movie and a tickle scene came on. They all shuddered at their recent memories from their own experiences (as well as the scene being especially rude) and they started talking. That leads us to now.

“Do we really need to get him back? I mean, I liked it when he tickled me, it was fun!” Pavitr admitted, earning a look from the other two spiders.

“That’s only because he didn’t punish you. We,” Gwen gestured to herself and Miles, “got punished. We want to get him back.”

“Yeah, just because you had a good time doesn’t mean we did. Revenge is in order,” Miles agreed. Pav smiled a bit and shook his head.

“You Americans and your ticklish bloodlust. You shouldn’t have pranked him in the first place!” he giggled as he earned more scowls from his friends. Then he stretched his arms and cracked his fingers. “But if you two are too scared to start, I know where he’s ticklish!”

Pavitr walked up confidently, constantly surprising Miles and Gwen with his boldness. Moving Hobie’s hair from his neckline, he found his nape and started gently scribbling. The reaction was immediate. Hobie hummed a laugh, then started mumbling out chuckles, shifting on the couch as Pav continued. His arms sleepily reached behind him and his hands waved around as if he was trying to catch Pav’s, but he had no such luck.

“Mmmhmhmhmhmhm… Kahaharl quihihihit…” the punk muttered through his soft giggles. Miles and Gwen looked on in awe but soon dawned evil smiles on their faces. Pavitr was about to speak until they all held their breaths. Hobie groaned in his sleep and turned over entirely, now lying on his back. He scratched at his stomach and smacked his lips, returning to his peaceful slumber. The three teens gave each other looks of confirmation.

“I’m getting his stomach.” Miles called.

“His legs are all mine.” Gwen purred.

“Well, someone has to hold his arms...” Pavitr sighed.

They all jumped onto the taller Spider-Man. Miles sat on his thighs, Gwen sat on his knees facing him, and Pavitr quickly thwipped Hobie’s wrists together and held down the web with his foot, keeping his hands free. Hobie instantly woke up with a snort, looking around all dazed and confused.

“H-Huh? Whas happnin’? ‘S goin’ on?” he asked. He pulled at his wrists and started to panic as he realized the situation he was in. He pulled more as he saw Miles sitting above him with crossed arms and a smirk.

“Mornin’ Hobs. Had a nice nap?” Brooklyn’s Spider-Man asked. Hobie looked straight up and saw Pav who waved. He looked around Miles to see Gwen who nodded her head towards him. Hobie simply sighed and deflated where he laid, ragdolling his head on the arm of the couch.

“Whas dis den? You lot tryna get me back, is that it?” he said.

“Yep,” Gwen said.

“Nailed it right on the head,” Miles agreed.

“I mean, not really but this seems like fun,” Pavitr chided. Hobie took one more assessment of his situation before shrugging.

“Fine,” he sighed. “If it keeps you busy.”

The three spider kids were slightly taken aback by his willingness, but they shook it off nonetheless.

“Pav, you wanna start first?” Miles asked. Pavitr tapped his chin as if he was thinking about it.

“Hmm… let me think…” As he started to ponder, he took his free hand and softly scribbled his fingers up and down Hobie’s bicep, getting so close to his armpit but stopping just a hair short to continue upwards.

Hobie jumped at the contact and bit his lip, fighting back snickers while saying, “Oho fuck ohoff Pav.”

“I mean, I really should go first, shouldn’t I?” India’s Spider-Man spoke as he touched his other hand down on Hobie’s bicep, now scribbling up and down both his arms while speaking. “I am the one he got first. Even though I liked it, you can’t just tickle someone and not expect to be tickled back, right? Oh but if I do, he might get me back worse! What to do, what to do! Maybe I should just stay here, teasing him, almost going to his armpits but not quite yet~” 

Meanwhile, Hobie was currently suffering under the torturous teasing he was being subjected to. Miles smiled and watched as his usually concealed friend lose his mind at a few simple scratches.

“Come on, Hobs!” Pav continued, now scratching right above his armpits. “I know how ticklish you are! Why hide it? I can feel you’re gonna break~ Aaaaaaaaaany second now~ Maybe I should go lower? Maybe I should tickle your armpits? Would that make you laugh? Hm?~”

“Ffffffffffuhuhucker- Pahav- Imma k-kihihill you!” Hobie growled through his giggles. He used all the movement he could to cover his eyes with his elbows. His smile was bigger than ever and he was constantly moving and shaking his torso.

“Looks like Hobie’s quite the dancer! Wiggle wiggle Hobs~” Miles cooed. Gwen just sat back and pulled out her phone, recording this moment. I’m so sending this to Peter, she thought with an evil smirk.

“What do you guys think? Should I go for the kill?” Pav asked as he hovered his hands over his friend’s armpits. Hobie’s eyes widened and he gasped, holding his breath. He let out hesitational giggles as Pav’s fingers wriggled above their target area. Even Miles felt shivers up his spine.

“Oh hell yes you should! Why don’t I help out?~” Miles brought his own wiggly fingers to hover above Hobie’s ribs. The taller teen grunted and covered his eyes again.

“Y-You fuckheads! Teasin’s not fair! Bofa yous as dead as doornails, ‘ear me??” The Spider-Punk said in a panicked voice. Miles and Pav looked at each other and nodded. At the same time they mouthed ‘1…2…3!’

Then, they attacked! Both Miles and Pav touched down onto Hobie’s torso and began their assault. Pavitr wickedly scratched and clawed Hobie’s armpits while Miles dug his fingers between the spaces of his ribs. Hobie, meanwhile, barked out a laugh and jerked hard. He nearly sent Gwen flying! She was lucky that he was barely using his spider strength, so instead she got shoved into Miles’ back. 

“Oof! Hehey, watch it Hobs! You tryna kill me here?” the Spider-Woman retorted. Hobie was too busy laughing his ass off to make up a witty response.

“BAHhahahahahahahahaha! F-Fuck sake- gyahahahahaha! Gehehehehet outta thehehehehehere! Shhhhihihihihihits! You shihihihitbags! Fffr- grrr- pfffhahahahahahaha!” Hobie was a completely new person. The only people who’ve seen this ticklish side of him were Karl and Pav, but he’s never been tickled by them at the same time. But did having Miles and Pav tickle him simultaneously make it any less fun? No. No it did not. This was the most fun he’s had in his life!

“I told you guys he’s ticklish! Oh, oh! What’s that thing you sing to Karl when you tickle him? It goes like “I’m gonna tickle tickle tickle you until you dieeeeeeee~” right? Am I right?” Pav asked, constantly stirring the pot and switching up his technique. He went from digging and vibrating to scratching and scribbling, then to poking and prodding. Miles laughed a bit.

“You seriously sing that?” he asked.

“Yes, he does. I have videos for proof,” Gwen said from her spot behind Miles (she fixed her position to where she was sitting on Hobie’s shins).

“Ooh, you should show him the video you took of Karl and Hobie on Karl’s birthday! Now that was brutal!” Pav said, harboring another bark of laughter from the punk below him as he jammed his fingers into the center of his hollows.

“J-Jehehehehehehehesus Christ! Stahahahahahahahap tahahahahalkin’!” Hobie ordered, but his words failed to carry any authority. Miles just smirked and vibrated his fingers faster and he felt deeply satisfied when the punk jerked forward.

“Guys, I don’t think I can believe what I’m hearing. Is he actually trying to order us around right now?” Miles raised an eyebrow and looked to Gwen and Pav.

“Completely unbelievable,” Pav agreed.

“Especially coming from the guy who ‘doesn’t follow orders.’ What do you have to say for yourself, Hobs?” Gwen asked. Hobie could only flop back and forth while spewing giggles and laughs from his mouth, shaking his head so much so one would think you asked him if he liked the government. The three teens just laughed with him. Then, Hobie said something unexpected.

“Breheheheheheak!” he laughed out. “Breheheheheheak break break! I cahahahahahahan’t!”

Without a second thought, Miles and Pavitr raised their hands and halted their tickling. Hobie’s body instantly relaxed, giggling and sighing as he caught his breath. Gwen was up in a flash and making a beeline for the kitchen. Pavitr rubbed Hobie’s pits to rub the ghost tickles away, being careful he wasn’t tickling the older spider. Miles patted Hobie’s side in an attempt to calm him.

“You alright, Hobie? Is it too much? Should we stop??” Brooklyn’s Spider-Man questioned, looking from Hobie to Pavitr for confirmation. Pav just smiled back at him.

“No need to panic, Spidey,” he explained, “It’s normal for someone to get worked up in a situation like this. He just needs some water and a breather, then we’re free to get back to it! Right Hobs?”

Hobie responded with a nod, now just panting. Gwen returned with a cup of water and offered it to Hobie’s lips. The punk shimmied up so he could drink more comfortably. And drink he did. He barely left a drop in the cup before laying back down. Then, he chuckled.

“You two are right fuckin’ evil, man. Downright awful, it was. Shihihit,” he chuckled.

“Well just you wait! Cause Miles is really about to knock your socks off~” Gwen cooed, pinching Hobie’s cheek like a grandma would. Hobie, feeling playful, bit at her fingers. Gwen squeaked out in surprise and shot her hand back to her side.

“Hey!” she fussed. Hobie just grinned with mischief. Gwen just rolled her eyes with a smile, shook her head, and traveled back to the kitchen with cup in hand.

“Now that wasn’t very nice, Hobie!” Miles said.

“Oh yeah? Whatcha gon’ do bout it, Miles? Hm? Gon’ punish me? Treat me like a bad boy, huh? I reckon you won’t, ya too much of a coward~” Hobie taunted, shimmying his chest at Miles. Brooklyn’s Spider-Man was immediately taken back, sending a confused look at Pavitr. Pav simply laughed.

“This trick again, Hobie?” Pav asked as he looked down at his friend, giggling when Hobie waggled his eyebrows at him. “This is a method he tries to mess with anyone who’s tickling him. But it never works. Just go ahead, he loves this stuff!”

Miles simply looked at Hobie and smiled. Hobie sighed and shrugged.

“Wurf a shot, roight?” he said. Miles grabbed the hem of Hobie’s shirt and pulled up, finding a pleasant surprise. 

“No way!” he exclaimed.

“What is it?” Pavitr poked his head up. 

“Did you find an embarrassing birthmark? A third nipple??” Gwen said, running back from the kitchen, all too excited to find something humiliating to tease Hobie for.

“No, look!” Miles pointed his finger to his stomach where it harbored a black and silver belly button piercing with an upside down cross. The three gawked as they looked at it, giving the punk a longer break.

“Holy crap you have a belly piercing??” Pavitr asked, bewildered. 

“You should see what else I have pierced~” Hobie said with a wink to his friends. 

There were three seconds of silence before Pavitr barked out, “YOU PIERCED YOUR PENIS?!?”

Everyone burst out into hysterical laughter at Pav’s declaration. Miles deflated onto Hobie’s chest, Gwen slumped against the back of the couch, and Hobie just cackled as if they started tickling him again.

“No Pahav, mah nips! I pierced mah nipples, ya goon! I’m fuckin’ out mah mind, not crazy! Pahahaha!” Hobie said, giggling out of his mind.

“Oh my god, I wish I had that recorded!” Gwen cried out through her laughter. Miles just held his head on Hobie’s chest and snickered hysterically. Pavitr blushed from embarrassment but started laughing too. And Hobie was a mess. He was giggling so much that he started to let out tiny snorts. Miles shot up when he heard them.

“You snort when you laugh!” Brooklyn’s Spider-Man accused, pointing a finger right in the punk’s face. “Why did you rip on me when you snort too? You’re such a hypocrite!”

Hobie just giggled and said, “Cause it’s cuter when you do it! ‘S adorable, mate, ‘ow can I not tease ya?”

“Oh, you’re getting it now!” Miles declared, raising his two hands and forming them into claws. “Any last words?~”

“Sleep with one eye open- yeEEAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” Hobie taunted then screamed as Miles dug into his stomach. He used the same method he used on his ribs, only this time, he used tiny sparks of his venom to add more to its kick. Hobie jerked up hard, nearly sending Miles flying, but the teen just laughed and held on tighter.

“Haha! Oh man, regret teasing me yet? Or do you need more persuasion?” Miles asked as he kneaded and zapped Hobie’s toned stomach. Hobie just barked out loud laughter as he swung around, thrashing like a rodeo bull. Pav looked shocked but was laughing with them as Gwen started recording again.

“FAHAHAHAHAHAHAHACK MIHIHIHIHIHIHILES!! CH-CHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEAT!! YOU CHEHEHEHEHEHEAT!! NOHOHOHOHO VEHEHEHEHEHENOM!! MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAILES!!!” Hobie threw his head back and cackled like a madman.

“Holy crap! You’re ruthless Miles! That’s his worst spot!” Pavitr said. It was unaware if he was warning Miles or encouraging him.

Either way, Hobie genuinely looked like he was having fun. His smile was wide and unapologetic, his eyes closed as his nose scrunched tight. It was a beautiful sight and such a 180 from his normal personality. Miles was going to ask for every single video and picture Gwen was taking at that very moment. And every other video or picture where Hobie’s getting tickled.

“You think this is ruthless?” Miles asked, removing his hands to give Hobie a very short lived break. “Let me show you what my Uncle Aaron taught my dad when I was a kid.”

“You… you still are a kid… bitch…” Hobie panted out. Now his fate was sealed. Miles furrowed his brows and smiled. Without any warning, Miles rapidly squeezed his hands against Hobie’s sides and inhaled deeply before blowing a massive raspberry on the punk’s stomach. Hobie fucking lost it. He arched up high and his laughter went silent. Then, it roared out of him as if he was the offspring of a lion and hyena.

“MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAILES!!!! SHIHIHIHIHIHIHI- FAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! NOHOT AGAIN! NOT AGAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAIN!!! YOUHUHU FUCKIN PEHEHEHEHEHEST!! AHAHAHAHAHA SHIT!! OK!! OKOKOK AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!! I TAHAHAHAHAKE IT BAHAHAHAHAHAHACK!!” Miles sat back and laughed a bit, enjoying how easily he picked apart his friend.

“Come on, punk rocker! Can’t handle a few wittle tickews? You’re lucky I’m not shocking you! Or going after your piercing~ Man, how hellish would that be?” Brooklyn’s Spider-Man taunted. Hobie was ballistic. Pav noticed this and was about to warn Miles to stop when his spider sense went off. He looked up to the front door and saw the doorknob turning and heard the sound of jingling keys.

“Miles, stop! Your parents are home!” Pavitr said, quickly fishing Hobie’s pocket knife from the punk’s discarded jacket. Miles looked up and towards the hall. He sprang off Hobie as Gwen casually went to get another cup of water. Pavitr cut the webs and Miles helped calm Hobie down just as Rio Morales walked in.

“Miles? Everything alright? It sounded like someone was dying in here,” she said, hanging up her purse and walking into the living room. What she found was quite the wholesome sight. The tv was on as Miles and Pav sat with Hobie on the couch, laughing at some sitcom that was playing. Gwen came from the kitchen and smiled to Rio.

“Sorry, Rio- I mean, Mrs. Morales. The show we were watching is just super funny! I was about to make us some popcorn, want a bag?” the blonde spider-woman somewhat lied, distracting the woman. Meanwhile, Hobie was leaning back on the couch and hugging his torso, still recovering from the harsh tickles he received. Miles immediately felt guilty.

“Hey man, you alright? I went too far, didn’t I?” he asked, looking at Hobie with a worried glance. Hobie just chuckled, and as if he had regained all of his strength just then, he swooped an arm around Miles’ neck and dug his knuckles into his head, giving him a noogie.

“Ah, you little bugga! Who knew you were such a meanie? Yeah, I’s jus ‘bout to tap out. But you good mahn! Was super fun. You’ll still have to watch your back~” Hobie cooed that last part into his ear as he squeezed his ribs, making Miles bark out a laugh.

The teens went on with their night, Gwen declaring that one day she’d get her own personal revenge on Hobie (even though they argued that the pictures and photos she took were her revenge). They found a movie and nuzzled into a large cuddle pile, falling asleep in the blankets and pillows, all of them leaning on Hobie.

And the last thing Hobie thought before he faded into sleep was, God my friends are the best.

[kleyamarki]

HI so i wrote the implied meeting between salman paak and kleya. it's part of my magnum opus eat your young andor concept fic. this is ultimately going to be bix-centered, focused on "throw enough rope till the legs have swung" (pretty on the nose for ya, sorry paak)

anyway, it's below the cut. maybe let me know what you think? idk i'm bored.

The man has Ferrix written all over him. It’s in the way he leaves the seats in the room for those much older and those much younger, the way he genuinely listens to everyone in the room, and the mechanic’s oil he’s tried to wash out of the jacket he wears. Kleya selects him as her mark out of the packed room. A speaker drones on about the injustices the Empire has rought, and Kleya nods along – she agrees, obviously. But speaking to a room of people will ultimately do nothing. It’s her job to pick out people she believes will be willing to take an extra step. She has hope for the man who would come all the way from Ferrix.

[ok itty bitty time skip (because i’m impatient with my writing brain and want to share this anyway), like a matter of a few minutes, think rebel meeting but more like a lecture. kleya looks like she should be part of it, like she could be one of the leaders of this little group, even. but she stands on the outskirts of the room, like she’s the lowest rung of the leader totem pole. in reality she’s not one of them, but she’s there to see if she can get anyone for her & luthen’s purposes. she also introduces herself to paak. obviously with a different name and all that. okay onto the rest]

“You know,” Kleya says over a cup of caf, “If you’re serious about this, you could be our liaison on your homeworld.” She uses ‘our’ lightly in terms of the current surroundings. She hopes he doesn’t notice the leaders of the group aren’t fraternizing with the attendees. Her network needs this. The Separatists here might too, but there’s a reason she’s handpicked him specifically. They don’t need to know that. 

Paak lets a huff of air out of his nose, a laugh, maybe, “Ferrix? They’d rather take the Empire’s money and ignore them.” Kleya’s brow furrows as the words leave his mouth. “They have each other, they can ignore the rest.”

“But you’re here.”

“But I’m here,” he sighs.

Kleya spies her opening. “I can offer more money for the Imperial toys you trade already.”

“You don’t want some uprising?” Paak raises an eyebrow, silently saying what Kleya wants him to realize – you’re not the same as them, the Separatists she’s playing. Maybe he even thinks their arrangement would be less dangerous than an overt uprising. She hopes, for his sake, he doesn’t have to learn the truth of the matter. 

“We know the game you salvagers play,” Kleya says, revealing just enough to reel him in. “And we could put it to better use. A use you’d probably like more, anyway, considering you’re here.” She sips her caf, looks back at the room.

Paak is silent for a moment longer than Kleya would like. He sips his caf too, thinking. She interjects, “You’d get a radio, signal when you have something for my buyer. We’ll catch it, he’ll pay a visit. All fairly simple, if you can get your hands on equipment we need at the right time.”

At that, Paak nods. Although he still looks the slightest bit uneasy, Kleya knows she’s got him. “As long as the radio’s alive, you’ll get a stipend too.” She debates for a split second what she’ll say next, but goes ahead anyway, “All the better for your family, right?”

Paak raises an eyebrow, but there’s something in his eye that says he’s in for the guarantee of a regular income stream. “You said liaison,” he says, finally, “Could I bring someone in, put them in contact with your buyer?”

Kleya doesn’t want to say yes, but they need Ferrix. “Sure, you’re the one on the ground.” A half-truth. He doesn’t need to know that. 

Paak nods, “You have a deal.”

Kleya suppresses a smile. She can still be happy about the small successes. “We’ll send you the radio in the next few weeks. Signal, and the buyer will come.”

[traitorousarsonistpartner]

DP X TMA Ficlet

Well this popped in my head and won't leave me alone so y'all get it now

This takes place Season 4 TMA and Post the end of DP series. I haven't read glitch through time yet

-----------------

Tape recorder clicks

Jon "Where's Martin when you need him? How do you work this bloody kettle?"

Pause of silence

Jon "Why are you here? What's going on?"

??? "Sorry to startle you. I was told to come talk to someone called Gertrude. Well I was told to do so a while ago but I procrastinated. Do you know where she is?"

Startled metal clattering

Jon "Oh wow. That doesn't happen much anymore... Why do you need to speak to her?"

??? "I'm supposed to tell her something. Something she needs to know as The Head Archavist apparently. My name is Phantom. She might be expecting me."

Jon "Oh... Well Danny she is... No longer The Archavist. That is my job now. Can you tell me."

Phantom "Sure."

Jon "Well?"

Phantom "I don't know what I'm meant to tell you. He said the Archavist would ask me a question and I would know what I'm supposed to say."

Jon "Oh. Well Statement of Phantom. January third twenty nineteen. Statement subject is..."

Phantom "The death of Danny Fenton and the Birth of Danny Phantom."

Jon "Statement Begins"

Danny "I would like to say I grew up normally. It's what I tell everyone who asks. But that would be a lie. My parents were just stupid and unstable enough that their genius was a danger to anyone around them. They were obsessed with death. Not just death but the dead and undead. Convinced that they could be reached and talked to... Well they were right."

"I'm getting ahead of myself. My childhood was full of undeath. My sister once had to save us from our Christmas Dinner. A reanimated turkey. It had no head but I can still hear it's screams if I try to remember..."

"When I was thirteen my parents started working on their magnum opus. A portal between life and death. So they could truly study the dead and undead and undying. It took them a year to construct the portal. It didn't work. So shortly after turning fourteen I put on my suit and out of curiosity and teenage carelessness went inside."

The tape starts to sound slightly distorted "My hand touched a wire. And somehow the portal turned on. Reality ripped apart on the spot I stood. For one moment. One eternity. I was being ripped apart by blistering radiation and electricity. Fenton's blood boiled and skin peeled and bones fried. Every nerve letting out an agonizing cry of pain before blinking out. Dying. And Fenton was gone. The blood boiling away to ectoplasm. Skin replaced by a ghostly pale copy. Hair now white and snow and blue eyes now a deep green."

"I can still look like Danny Fenton. The portal is open now. I still make myself look like him. But I am unsure whether I am truly still Fenton or if I am just a cheap copy."

"And I am far from the only thing to walk out of my parents' portal. But I am one of the few that is friendly towards humans."

The tape is no longer distorted. Danny "Wow that just like came out like verbal diarrhea. I could not control that at all. Anyway did you get what you needed out of that?"

Jon "I um... Statement ends" clattering and the tape shuts off.

[t00nyah]

SO! A THING ABOUT THE ART CHALLENGE I TALKED ABOUT IN MY LAST POST...

we ended up trading characters. LMAO. it was so funny how we just were like WAIT CAN I GET THIS ONE PLEASE PLEASE

SO. ABOUT MY COOL AND AWESOME IDEAS.

if you're an old t00nyan...you know splatoon changed me as a person.

but there's one particular thing i really like making characters based off...

SEA SLUGS. (please stay till the end the final artwork is the best thing i ever drew and is like the equivalent of me learning splatoon style AND there's umm something cool you need to know.)

so. literally everyone knows i love sea bunnies for looking so so so cute and silly. i always say white lizards are like sea bunnies to me. and as you all know i love gathering a lot of facts and applying them to the character.

first, i've decided to make it somewhat atypical to what people are more used to see...as far as i know yellow sea bunnies are more common than white ones. and it works! the character looks way better than when it was white haha. speaking of appearance, of course they're small, sea bunnies are teeny tiny!!!!!!!!!

from what i've read for this challenge, apparently sea bunnies use jellyfish stingers for self-defense, huge if true bc that's why this fella holds a jellyfish. they highly depend on stunning predators to outrun them in my vision. also, um. wiki mentions that the sponges sea bunnies feed on contain toxins that can be used in cancer treatment, so you know what that means. in MY concept it's like... them being a rotting iterator's last hope or smth, which would be funny because being toxic also equals to being a little shit personality-wise. imagine your last hope is a creature that won't stop throwing jellyfish at you.

next one is a cabbage slug! it's a very pretty one!! i actually have a splatoon oc Elysia based on them haha.

this particular photo was my reference for the blueish palette but they can be veeery colorful and veeery pretty...

i don't have anything in my head for this one, i just felt like i HAD to make an elysia crispata slugcat. they're just nice, herbivore, love sunbathing and just enjoy being here!

so. last one is like my MAGNUM OPUS. at first i didn't even consider it. i wanted to make an octopus based one for branding reasons but then i saw this shitter.

im sorry im not actually mean to them but. this guy is a blue dragon. i randomly saw them and went 'oh yeah they exist, wonder what they'd be like. could be a cool design.'

THE RESULT...

IS THIS GUY.

so. blue dragons, apparently, prey on bigger predators and then store their most dangerous venom to use it on their next prey. but it also ends up even more deadly that the predators'.

so i went okay. if that's not a cool concept, i don't know what is. and then...things went kind of too far.

introducing to you: The Weaponeer.

food requirement: 8(10) [quite obviously eats corpses with 1/4 pip from blue fruit and stuff]

they're fast, (NOT as fast as rivulet, but faster than hunter, probably like 1.45x) have bigger lung capacity (~4.25x, a lot, but not as much as rivulet has) and have a 'special ability' of sorts

the Weaponeer is a master in self-defence and knows well how to utilize its' predators' weapons as their own. they can deshell overgrown(!) centipedes, demask vultures and steal king vultures' harpoons (without needing a spear, practically like a maul but it only works for this and only due to the Weaponeer just knowing how to do that more practically)

their base damage is 1.0, BUT using harpoon spears multiplies it to 1.5 (although i think it lowers throwing skill considering it's heavy and giant, they can't exactly throw it, it's more of a melee weapon. it probably slows them down too?)

i have a little campaign idea too! so, wiki mentions them being washed up on the shore sometimes...and that felt like an idea.

the Weaponeer is a capable and very confident slugcat, but they are lost far from home in Deserted Faraway - a result of some poor planning of the Ancients. once a river, now a cavern full of adapted to new circumstances living beings. the region has two subregions, one of them being a cave system and the other being the remains of the iterator that was doomed right from the start. when the Weaponeer arrives to Deserted Faraway, it's already its own blooming ecosystem.

im really proud of how this menu art turned out! i hope i will get to draw more artworks like that someday...when im not that busy, haha. it did take me an entire DAY to finish this one.

i intended to sell them initially just bc they ended up pretty cool so...THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING. i sadly can't really...actually...sell them for money...which is very fucking dissatisfying.

BUT. but. if you know me you know i'm desperate for OC fanart, so if you really want them trading for art is an option!!! my dms are open :]

but yeah, thanks for looking at this, it took me a while and im actually proud of this project!!

[freakova]

Okay, one more self reblog but 3 things I'll put under a cut //

1

This clipping and perspective is absolutely insane and keeps happening in this episode especially. The sitting poses. The off-clip chairs and perspective. The feet????? Usagi whats wrong???????

2

KARAI?????????????

And 3...Finished tmnt 2003

3 episodes away from finishing tmnt 2003

[seal-writes-stuff]

oh my god i'm drunk with power slamming this ask button again & again -- Seal does Dani do anything to celebrate Halloween? the very thought of her in a cute dorky costume or chickening out of a haunted house/horror movie bc it's too stressful is making me COMBUST. please share your valuable insight, tsym (:

Spooky Season

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: F!Reader, some suggestive stuff (nothing explicit but still), otherwise pure fluff

Summary: Glimpses of the Halloween celebration you and Dani have together.

A/N: Ask and you shall receive >:) Happy belated Halloween, guys! I couldn’t choose between a fic and a list of headcanons for this one, so I’ve decided to try something new and kinda did a blend of both. Hope you enjoy!

“Hey, quit squirming!” you throw your hands in the air, pretending to be exasperated, as Dani struggles not to laugh. “You’re running my hard work. I simply cannot continue in such dire conditions.”

“Dire? Seriously?”

“Well, not that dire,” you wiggle your eyebrows. “But, y’know. I could use some cooperation.”

“Can you blame me, though? It’s been half an hour…”

 “You can’t rush art, miss Ardor. Now sit tight or it’ll be, like, ten more hours and that’s a promise.”

She huffs, pretending to be annoyed, but you know she doesn’t mean it. You can’t imagine Dani ever being seriously angry at you, especially without talking it out.

A few silent minutes pass as you keep drawing shiny scales on her cheekbones. Some face paint here, some glitter there – everything to create a perfect make-up for a mermaid costume. You’ve designed a whole thing yourself too, in just a couple of hours.

Dani’s very inspiring, what can you say.

“Thank you, by the way,” you look up, only to be met with her gentle gaze, shining with bashful adoration. “For this. I know it's silly, but-”

“You make it sound like a favor,” you murmur under your breath, returning to you work. “And not like a blessing it is. So… Can’t take it, sorry.”

“Oh,” Dani’s voice cracks. She blinks a few times. “That’s- That’s really beautiful.”

“That’s just how it is,” you move away, giving Dani’s face a one last look-over. “Speaking of beautiful! Not to brag or anything, but I think this is my magnum opus. If you dragged me to the bottom of the sea, I’d just thank you.”

“That’s a siren, not a mermaid.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m not an expert in, uh, mermology,” you revel in a small giggle she gives you. “Then what? You’ve sold your voice to the sea witch to see the human world?”

“Yeah, right. To see a very…” Dani looks away, blush still obvious despite all the makeup. “Um, special part of it.”

Now it’s your turn get flustered. You stare at her lips; a glance not stolen, but gifted freely.

“Well then. Better give you a true love’s kiss really quick.”

“What about ruining your hard work?”

“Eh, who cares? There’s always more glitter.”

***

“Is it over?” Dani peeks at the screen, only to immediately hide her face in the crook of your neck again.

“It didn’t even start! That’s literally just two people talking.”

“Yeah, for now!”

“Oh, come on,” pausing the horror movie the two of you are watching, you let out a soft laugh. You’re not even looking at the screen anymore and you don’t need to– you know how it goes. You’ve seen it way more times than you’d like to admit; it’s cheesy and the special effects didn’t age all that well, but it’s still dear to your heart. Also, it’s not scary at all.

Well, not for everyone, apparently.

“You know,” you whisper in Dani’s ear, feeling her shiver at the proximity of your warm breath. “If you just wanted to cuddle, could’ve just said so.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Oh, so you didn’t want to cuddle?”

“No, I- That’s not- Ah!” she hides her face in her hands with a groan. You don’t reply, opting for a kiss on a cheek instead. “You’re so annoying, I swear.”

 “And yet here we are,” you murmur, earning a content sigh from Dani. “I love you so much, y’know? Don’t you forget.”

“Don’t think I can.”

An image of a rubbery-looking monster peeking from the shadows lingers on the TV screen for hours, forgotten.

***

“Alright, so trick or treat?”

Dani rolls her eyes, attempting to grab the bowl of leftover candy you’re holding, but you’re quick enough to pull it away. It’s dark outside; the kitchen is illuminated with all the candles you’ve managed to find around the house, the soft orange glow outlining cardboard bats and plastic skeletons. You were aiming for “scary” when you’ve set the decorations up. Still, “romantic” fits better anyway, love shining through the playful horror.

Honestly, you can’t complain.

“Pretty sure that’s not how it works.”

“It is now!” you put the bowl in one hand, placing the other on her forearm. “Come on, baby, humor me for a minute. Trick or treat?”

“Alright, alright, uh…trick? I’m scared already.”

“That’s the point of the holi- Hey, not so fast!” you cut your girlfriend’s another attempt to steal candy from you short, grinning. “Tell me. What did a skeleton say to her girlfriend after a date?”

“Can’t even imagine. Wait, don’t you dare say ‘let’s bo-”

“Let’s bone.”

“Oh my God,” Dani buries her head in her hands as you cackle triumphantly. “This is awful. Get out.”

“You’ve chosen it, not me!” reaching into the bowl, you pull out a Twix and hand it to her. “Here. A whole bar, you deserve it.”

“Thank you.”

Without another word, Dani grabs the candy from you and unwraps it, handing you one of the sticks. You put the bowl down; for a moment, the both of you are too busy with your sweets to talk, but you can tell there’s something on her mind. That little frown of hers, made all more adorable by the fact that she has no idea about it.

“Okay, no- I’m curious now,” Dani brushes the crumbs off her mouth with a quick gesture. “What would be a treat?”

“Want a trick and a treat?” you move closer, your voice dropping to a sultry whisper. “Your wish is my command. What did I say to my girlfriend after this date?”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Worked so far.”

Dani doesn’t answer. Instead, she leans in and you comply happily, drowning in her soft embrace. Sweeter than any candy, warmer than any candle.

“Y/N, it’s…” Dani whispers, pressing her forehead to yours. “It’s really nice.”

“What is?”

“This. You,” she kisses you, smiling against your lips. “I mean, it’s so- Can we do this next year? Please. I’d really love that.”

“I think that’s how that ‘holiday’ thing wo- Ow!” with a giggle, you steal another kiss, closing your eyes in pure joy. “Of course we can. Happy Halloween, baby.”

[codenamesazanka]

Here’s what I think went down: 

All For One invaded the Shimura household, held captive everyone there. He singled out Tenko, and started whatever thing he did to condition into Tenko the wrathful instinct Shigaraki gets with the hands, a la Pavlov. 

This involves torture - most likely making Tenko participate, as well as something happening that caused the injuries to Tenko’s eye and lips. It also killed everyone, but preserved the hands. He reinforced, besides traumatic fear, aggression and anger, knowing that it would be there later and he can redirect it.

Eventually, All For One cleaned up, scattered Tenko’s memories, and had him run away, confused and unable to remember or explain to anyone what happened even if he did get someone to stop and try to help. 

-

(Long post!! I thought about putting it under a spoiler but I feel like this is my magnum opus of meta and creating a theory, so sorry! You gotta scroll through! Please! I hope you read and find it convincing!) 

Everyone is pretty much theorizing that All For One was the cause of the Shimura household demise, because what are the chances AFO was able to come across a dead family with hands all intact, a traumatized and very impressionable 4-year-old with a extremely destructive quirk, and is the grandson of his previous hated enemy and essentially the nephew (come on, All Might thought of Nana as a mother, he would’ve loved all her family like his family) of his current hated enemy? 

All For One was there. The question is, what happened and what did he do? 

I realized in a previous post that Shigaraki’s reactions to the hands reads very much like a conditioned response a la Pavlov’s experiments. Little Tenko first sees the hands and immediately has a strong psychosomatic reaction, as well as an unexplainable, powerful sense of anger. Ever since then, whenever he wears the hands, he still feels that rage. 

Maybe a bit far-fetched - AFO using an elaborate psych experiment? But AFO has shown that he’s willing to go the distance and create meticulous plans years in advanced, and he’s a master at psychological manipulation. 

And two things: 

the flashback of the corgi, which yes, serves as an even more heartbreaking piece of Tenko’s memories, but also, Pavlov’s experiments is famously known for his use of dogs. The corgi is symbolic and a hint. 

@sweetened-apples​ noted that Gigantomachia seems to have been conditioned to calm down and respond to AFO’s voice. 

There’s that extremely visible ‘click’ sound, also a known and commonly used conditioned stimuli, and without seeing the scene, the Doctor knows immediately Gigantomachia must have calmed down. 

This is what convinces me greatly that AFO did something to conditioned Shigaraki, using the hands as the trigger. 

The ask from a wonderful, wonderful anonymous contributor (thank you!!) helped me piece more of the scene together. 

In chapter 88 and 222, Shiga's shirt is dark, and his pants are light. In chapter 69, they're both light. Why is this? If he ran away after killing 'Father' which happened in that chapter...

[...]

there’s a bunch of blood running down his arms and on the floor, pooling around the hand. [...] Exactly how much blood did he get covered in? How, why, no one noticed and now its gone? No stains, nothing? Also, for the anon and what you said, your right. Blame whoever attacked him for the injury to his lips, there was blood there in the flashback. Could it’d have been the weapon?

Chapter 69: As anon noted, the shirt and pants are both light-colored. Also, the shirt is bloodstained, blood is dripping down from above, also likely staining the pants as well. 

Chapter 88 and 91:

And that’s consistent in Chapter 222:

It’s implied in the same chapter that after what happened to his family, Tenko had ran away, looking for help - he did so right afterwards. If so, how is he so spotless, after being covered in blood? Plus - why would he make sure to change his clothing, if he was in such a rush? 

From my other post, regarding the scene in Chapter 69, let me restate: 

We thought this hand was the ‘father’ hand, but it’s not. The hand Shigaraki wears on his face is a left hand. This is a right hand. It’s so carefully intact. Shigaraki is covered in blood, the blood coming solely from above him, ruining his shirt but not his pants, not even fully covering his hands. You would think a chaotic situation would mean a mess, everywhere. Tripping and slipping, knees and hands in a puddle of blood. But Tenko is not.

Finally, this scene:

There’s what looks to be a bloodied weapon of some sort, and the shadowed, crazed fearful look of an adult. We assume it’s Tenko’s father (also Nana’s son).

Then we see that Tenko is found with his eyes and lips wounded. 

I think yes, that weapon was used to hurt Tenko, and I think the one who did so is that man in the right part of the image. But why would he hurt Tenko? Why would he look like that? 

Well, where have we see a similar look? 

The story of Rei Todoroki is also a tragic one, where, during a mental break, she injured her son, Shouto Todoroki. 

I think, maybe, AFO had did something to Tenko’s father, making him hurt Tenko. Caused a mental break, forced him to attack his son? Forced Tenko to kill his father in self-defense? The oneshot Tenko had the titular character’s father also attempt to kill his son, and though it’s not the same motivation or context at all, I feel there’s a good chance of a parallel.  

And isn’t that just as sadistic as AFO is? Having Nana’s beloved son attack Tenko, as well as forcing Tenko to retaliate to protect himself, thereby killing his father? We already know AFO has a habit of putting Shigaraki into life or death trials to prove his worth. 

Speaking of the oneshot Tenko, the character in that was also filled with rage, starting when he had to watch his father kill his mother. 

It’s a very natural reaction. You watch someone kill someone you love, and you gain intense hatred, aggression, and anger toward them. 

Here’s another interesting thing to note: In the oneshot Tenko, Tenko’s mother had taught him to redirect his rage. She told him, that his power isn’t one to used for killing, that he should think of other ways. This leads to Tenko redirecting his anger at samurai and swords, vowing to destroy all of it to rid the world of war. 

Looking back at Chapter 88, during the raid scene, during Shigaraki’s first flashback of AFO finding him, I always found it just a little strange that his internal state went how it went. Shock, then fear at being defeated, then a flashback to what seems to be a melancholy but hopeful, touching, scene of AFO rescuing him, then climaxing in anger. 

I’ve tried out several analysis of that scene - that being bound and on the verge of arrest made him feel helpless, like he had did as a child; Gran Torino asking about his Master made him wish for his Master to come save him again, like that time; them trying to get to AFO, who saved him, made him angry that they would try to hurt his Master; anger that the heroes, who wasn’t there for him when he needed them to be, was suddenly here to be his ruin? But most of all, why ‘I hate you’? I mean, yes, all those feelings are wild, negative, and the raid is a high-adrenaline fueled moment where reason isn’t big on the mind, but. 

For what was supposed to be a bittersweet memory of someone coming to his rescue, Shigaraki has instead associate it and filled it with a hellish wrathful. 

I think, after what AFO did to his family, after creating the hands, Tenko rightfully had nothing but fury, had wanted to kill AFO. Maybe it was so much so that AFO would later call it a ‘innate warpness’. Like AFO wanted to induced - just can’t have it be directed at AFO! So he messed with Tenko’s memory, made him forget exactly what went down, but Tenko would always associate that fury with the hands. 

Finally, finally, with Tenko confused and pretty much amnesiac, AFO had the child clean up. Wash away all the blood, put on a different clean set of clothing, hence the reason for the different outfits in the flashbacks. A blood-covered child would get everyone’s attention, would immediately bring police and Heroes onto the scene. 

But a well-dressed child, with what seems to be only slight cuts on his face, scatter-minded and unable to tell anyone what had happened because he can’t remember? A lot more benefit of doubt. 

So yeah. This is my theoretical outline of what went down. 

[sage-nebula]

@em-exceeds-change-zearu --- Hope you don’t mind, but I wanted to respond to your tags in a new post since the original post was long enough as it was, haha!

#also i love all of these picks and the thought that went into them #and that he has a varied team that's flexible and can take on tons of things #ALSO I'M GLAD YOU DIDN'T MENTION ZEKROM #I WAS DREADING A RED EYES BLACK DRAGON REDUX WITH ZEKROM #(even if zekrom and reshiram are huge walking red eyes and blue eyes jokes) 

See, it’s because I put a lot of thought into it that I didn’t mention Zekrom! Zekrom doesn’t work for the Red-Eyes Black Dragon at all (and ditto for Reshiram with the Blue-Eyes White Dragon)!

From a visual standpoint, I get why the comparisons were made. Zekrom is a black dragon with red eyes, and Reshiram is a white dragon with blue eyes. But that’s where the similarities end. While monsters in YGO have only very loose elemental associations, the fact still remains that the Red-Eyes Black Dragon is a fire dragon, while the Blue-Eyes White Dragon is an electric dragon. We see this in their attacks. The Red-Eyes Black Dragon’s attack is Black Fire Bullet (JP) / Inferno Fire Blast (EN), while the Blue-Eyes White Dragon’s attack is Burst Stream of Destruction (JP) / White Lightning (EN). “Burst Stream of Destruction” isn’t specifically electric, but it isn’t fire, either, and the look of it certainly looks electrical whenever it attacks (which is likely what led to 4Kids naming the attack what they did). Either way, these attacks make it clear in both the manga (JP) and the anime (EN) that Red-Eyes is a fire dragon while Blue-Eyes is an electric dragon.

But with Zekrom and Reshiram, that’s reversed. Zekrom is Electric/Dragon, while Reshiram is Fire/Dragon. Their types do not match up with the YGO dragons at all. And while some might say that’s a minor quibble, it really isn’t. Jounouchi is pretty heavily associated with fire, even setting Red-Eyes aside. Just off the top of my head:

The yo-yo he was pictured with in the cover art for chapters 48/49 was a “Fireboy” yo-yo;

He defeated Chopperman by setting him on fire with the candle + oil combo;

One of his most memorable cards is Flame Swordsman (though him saying it was his favorite card was an anime invention, but nonetheless);

He stayed behind with Yuugi during the fire at the Black Crown and made it out with only minor injuries; 

When he got to name an attack during his duel with Malik, he named it “Jounouchi Fire”;

The God card he’s most heavily associated with is Ra, and Ra is the one that uses flames to attack (versus Osiris’ wind and Obelisk’s lightning);

Speaking of, he survived Ra’s flames at first brush (he died a few minutes later, true, but even that was only temporary)

Jounouchi is pretty heavily associated with a fire motif, and so it makes sense that his signature dragon would be a fire dragon, rather than an electric one. And likewise, Kaiba seems to be associated with lightning and electricity far more than he is with fire. Kaiba is all about technological advancement, is always surrounded by computers, robots, and the latest technology that he himself invented. The God card that he’s associated with, Obelisk, is one that has lightning spark around its fists when it attacks. It makes sense that his dragon is an electric one, rather than a fire one. Switching that around by associating Jounouchi with Zekrom and Kaiba with Reshiram is a huge mistake. It doesn’t fit at all.

Moreover, the thing about legendary pokémon is that most of them come with a stronger meaning associated with them. They’re cool looking and have types, yes, but each of them also usually symbolize something, or have something they watch over, protect, or stand for. For Zekrom, that’s ideals (and fighting for one’s ideals), and with Reshiram, that’s truth (and fighting for the truth). While Jounouchi can be an idealistic person, what Zekrom actually looks for in its champion is someone who wants to push their ideals onto others, to lead the world with them, and that’s not Jounouchi. Jounouchi doesn’t want to push his ideals onto others; he lives his own way and that’s that. Likewise, Kaiba’s not really concerned with the truth outside of how it benefits him, and he’s not opposed to flat out ignoring or denying it when it doesn’t, so I don’t think Reshiram would choose him as a champion either, haha.

So yeah, I saw no reason to bring up Zekrom. The Red-Eyes Black Dragon is represented by shiny charizard, and that’s that.

#i also didn't consider sivally/silvuddy at all!!! #but considering that it's literally named...silver buddy... #(gladion you fucking nerd) #it's perfect #the nickanme is perfect #he would approve #maybe silvuddy is something he gets in duelist kingdom? #like. in pegasus' basement or something #but this is pokemon world and you mentioned gladion existing in this crossover canon so HMM. MMM. #I'M STUCK ON HOW HE GETS IT TOO 

I did imagine this as taking place in the Pokémon World, yeah, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t adapt Duelist Kingdom as well. All we have to do is make it pokémon battles instead of Duel Monsters duels. So Pegasus owns an island with a castle, and he decides to host his own battle tournament on his island (that takes place over a more reasonable span of time than just two days). Maybe entrants have to collect star badges instead of star chips, or maybe it is star chips if badges would get him in trouble with the local League. In any case, he has his own unofficial, not-government-sanctioned tournament, and it’s very much like Duelist Kingdom except everyone has real monsters and therefore people like Mai and Bandit Keith have a much harder time cheating than they did in the actual canon.

(Well, Gladion doesn’t have to exist in the crossover canon, haha. It’s just an idea I threw out there. I don’t know if any relationship I could invent for him would be as fun to write as the one I had between him and Alan, so it’s not like I’m very attached to the idea of him existing in this story.)

#...oooh #kaiba imports it into his Tower Of Death scenario because he paid big monies to Aether Foundation #jou ends up taking it back #the same way how in other trials they utilized things that belonged to their enemies against them #(maybe replace the stupid ride of fear part with it BECAUSE HONESTLY THAT WAS THE LOW PART OF THE TOWER. IT WAS STUPID.) 

Hmm, that could work! Although honestly it might make more sense for Kaiba Corporation to have created Type: Null. Kaiba spared absolutely no expense when it came to creating Death-T, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that:

According to the currency converter I use, in 1996 (when this was written / would take place), ¥10,000,000,000 would be $87,989,745.57. Kaiba spent eighty-seven million dollars to build a theme park to kill Yuugi with. Money was not an issue for him whatsoever.

But that said, Type: Null seems like the type of creature Kaiba Corporation would have created, particularly if they existed within the Pokémon world. Maybe not so much once Kaiba takes over and turns it into a gaming company, but back when it was still a company for developing military weapons? The concept of pokémon being created as weapons is not at all foreign to the series (Mewtwo and Genesect being two prime examples), and I could see Gozaburo wanting to top all of them by creating a chimera that replicated the powers of Arceus. So maybe Type: Null had already been created and cryogenically frozen, and Kaiba released one of them in the hopes that they’d be able to kill Yuugi and the others. That could work. That said, I did really like Chopperman as Jounouchi’s personal challenge, particularly since he knows it’s a trap and walks into it anyway because he feels it’s the right thing to do (what a Gryffindor), so yeah, replacing the horror ride would definitely be preferable, particularly since how sexualized that scene was re: how the ride groped Anzu was unnecessary and gross and hands down the worst part of Death-T. :/ 

#(I HATE TRISTAN'S BRAT COUSIN HE HAD NO REASON TO BE THERE AND ONLY EXISTED TO MAKE TROUBLE) #(I APPRECIATED THAT HE VAPORIZED INTO NONEXISTENCE AFTER THAT ARC. BYE BINCH)

Haha, Jouji is his nephew, actually! Honda was on babysitting duty for his big sister that day. I will say that I do like the fact that Jouji exists purely because it lets us know that Honda has a big sister, and I’ve actually utilized that by fleshing her out into a character for a few fics I’ve written (including my magnum opus), which makes me somewhat attached to her. That said, we don’t actually need that, because Honda brings her up again when he brings clothes for Shizuka to wear when he picks her up from the hospital:

(Sorry for the scan quality, it’s the best I can do right now. Also, the “I don’t know if they’ll look good on you” --- that’s VIZ being kind of loose with the translation. In the original Japanese what he says is more like, “I don’t know if they’ll suit you,” which makes sense given Shizuka is far more demure than what Honda’s sister is implied to be like, given her taste in clothes.)

This little mention here is actually part of why I characterized her the way I did when I wrote her; that she wore “loud” clothes when she was younger spoke to a punkish style of dress, and in my mind, attitude therefore. Either way, though, Jouji is the first way we find out that Honda has an older sister, and that happens much earlier than this, so I guess that’s at least a little good he brings to the story.

Still, though, I agree with you overall, haha. I don’t like Jouji as a character at all. I don’t like the toilet humor during the horror game ride (though that still wasn’t as bad as the ride itself groping Anzu), I don’t like how he’s perverted as a baby, and I don’t understand how old he’s supposed to be. He seems like he should only be a year or so old, but if that’s true, how can he talk that well? How can he understand more mature concepts? It feels like he should have been at least five or six, but then I suppose he wouldn’t have been able to be carried around . . . ugh. Either way, he didn’t really bring anything of merit or value to Death-T. The closest we got was that he was the bait to lure Jounouchi in, and I liked that because, again, Jounouchi knew that it was a trap, but he walked into it anyway because he felt it was the Right thing to do, both because Jouji had helped them once before, and because Jouji was a baby. (And there’s a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment right before the games actually start where Honda is trying to get Jouji to shut up, and Jounouchi says, “Don’t make him cry!” Jounouchi really does have a soft spot for kids, aww. It’s the big brother in him, probably.) Plus, the fact that Jounouchi won that literal fight to the death while holding a baby in his arms is nothing short of badass, and I’ll never take any badass moments away from him. ♥

But yeah, Jouji was a worthless trash character, lmao. There’s a reason why, although I’ve written Honda’s older sister, I haven’t actually written Jouji. I’ve no use for that annoying thing.

[theartistdetective]

The Joker x Harley Quinn - Mephisto: Part 11

Hiya guys! I’m sorry I had to keep you waiting for this long, but a high fever with three projects that must be done are never a good combination for a writer. Whatever, I hope you’ll enjoy the next chapter. Please tell me if you want to be tagged.

 Ps: The part with “the child” and the “it” may have a negative impact on some of you, but it is a mandatory element for the storyline.

 Warnings: OOC Harley Quinn, domestic abuse.

MEPHISTO MASTERLIST

 A pleasant purr echoed in the nearly empty room as mommy’s delicate hands softly brushed through the child’s silken hair. The woman with the black gown hadn’t shown her face yet, allowing the sun to shine the brightest it could. It’s light emanated from the little window, illuminating the blue crib which the baby slept in peacefully. She was in her little purple onesie with a hood that had little kitten ears attached on top of it. It also had small paws illustrated on the surface of it’s sole of her feet. One could not see it due to the baby’s current position, but the onesie also had a tail drawn on it’s bum.   The child thought she was so cute and liked the baby more than the other siblings: big bro and big sis. They always thought of themselves, they always tried to get on the good side of the “it” when it was handy, they never thought of how mommy felt. Two days ago, when the “it” was hurting mommy again; the four siblings were hiding in the kitchen cabinet. The child had tried to get out, saying they must help mommy but was stopped by big sis. “Don’t bother to do anything for her.” she had said. “She’s the other reason we’re in this situation, except that man.” she whispered in an angry tone. “She did nothing wrong, she’s trying to protect us!” the child argued. “You’re not old enough to understand me yet, but when you do: you’ll lose faith in her immediately. You’ll understand how right I was.” big sis whispered as she held her sibling in place.   The baby wasn’t like that.   She always spoke –or at least tried to-  like the way she felt. She wasn’t that difficult to understand. She didn’t have any secrets, unlike mommy.   The child looked up to face mommy and smiled, trying to cheer her up. But she seemed kind of absent minded that day, her eyes were not focused properly. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun, making the gigantic bruises on her neck a lot more visible. She had a busted lip, along with a few cuts on her cheekbones. “Mommy?” cooed the little one, trying to get a decent reaction from her.   She didn’t smile back, just continued to stare at the empty void. To be honest; it would had been a rare sight if she did smile, she always looked miserable and tired, drowning in melancholia. But at that moment, she wasn’t sad. Any kind of emotion but a slight glint of fear in her eyes was erased from her countenance while she was absent-mindedly combing her child’s hair. The light reflecting on her tired looking face suddenly revealed a small luster under her eye. Uncommonly; the luster wasn’t created by the light, it was the magnum opus of the darkness shadowing her future, thus her heart. It was the darkness to let that single tear out.   But the child knew; the one that could be seen was only the tip of the iceberg: she had a turbulent sea inside her heart.   The woman noticed the little one’s stare. A sob escaped from her lips as her eyes got watery. Then the poor woman broke down instantly, covering her face with her hands while sobbing uncontrollably. Small hands grabbed her by the wrists and shook her:   “Mommy, mommy! Are you hurt? What happened?”   She continued sobbing while mumbling intermittent words, “I-I… ca-ca-can’t-t… t-tel-l… you-u…”   “Why not?” the child whined, hugging her tightly; “Did he do something to you again?”   The woman shivered as she let out a breath, trying to control herself as she looked at the worried eyes in front of her.   “I’m pregnant.”  The world stopped for a few seconds. A giant flood of memories started filling up the little one’s mind, till it was inevitable to be drowned. Everyone in the household knew the “it” didn’t like children, even though he had four of them. The child wasn’t born yet when mommy told him he was pregnant with the big sis or bro; but everyone was there when he learned mommy was pregnant with the baby. He had flipped the table and broke one of it’s legs with his bare hands, chasing the poor woman with his newly acquired bludgeon as he hit everything standing on his way with it. The only reason that the baby or maybe even mommy were alive that present day, was that she managed to climb up the ladder leading to the attic before he got a chance to assail on her. He was dead high, so there was no way he could climb up that ladder without falling down and shattering his skull to pieces in the process. After a few unsuccessful tries, he haf finally given up; deciding to take his anger out on his children.   That was the first night that the three and a half year old child was beaten up murderously; nearly to death would be the correct term, if the “it” hadn’t made a crucial mistake.   He; –using his fists- had made the mistake of leaving the wooden table leg near the right side of his torso, meaning, he had left it on the left side of the child who was trapped under him and  was facing him while he was swinging his fists around randomly. He was so angry that he couldn’t notice the small hand slowly crawling on top the rug to reach the potential weapon.   The three year old had hit him in the face while crying, but of course, what could had been the strongest force a three year old could apply? Yet, it was enough to make the high man lose his balance and fall onto the shards of glass that he broke when he had flipped the table. He got pretty bad cuts; one big one on his right temple, giant crevasses on his right elbow and the right side of his waist, along with a lot of small ones. He had immediately gotten up, losing a great amount of blood, being hardly able to stand. The little one had grabbed a handful of glass shards and started throwing them at him. He had left the house while yelling blasphemies that day. Leaving the worried household alone, thinking about and waiting for the revenge he would have soon taken.   They hadn’t have to wait that long. The next night, the “it” barged in the house with a pistol in his hand which’s shining surface could had been easily identified by the moonlight reflecting from it. He was neither high, nor dead drunk; being completely unbeatable. He had found mommy first and shot her in the right heel. As she was screaming in pain, he proceeded to look for the little one. He found the small figure behind the bed, shivering in fear. The “it” darted forward, cupping the little face from it’s puffy cheeks and forced the child to look at him in the eye. That was the first time he declared the child to be his successor. “You’re different,” he had said. “Violent and rebellious, just like daddy.”   That was a memory both the child and mommy would very much like to forget.   They embraced each other in brief silence, not wanting to acknowledge the harsh reality waiting them. This house was going to be hell when the “it” finally heard the news awaiting him, funny, as if they didn’t feel like they were living in hell already. The woman gently patted her child’s head, “Don’t tell anyone, promise?” she whispered. “Everyone will learn… eventually.”   She expected an “okay” as a reply, but she didn’t get any. She glanced at the little one curled up in her arms; eyes closed, mouth slightly opened, completely asleep. The woman giggled, despite the sadness boiling inside and poked the tiny nose. The child stirred a bit, but continued to sleep nontheless. The woman sighed and stood up, carrying the small figure to the bed. ���Sleep well my angel…” she chimed. “Hell will not be a great place to sleep later.”                                                                   ***

 The child was woken up in the middle of the night by a loud crashing sound echoing through the halls of their house. Springing up from the comfy surface of the bed, looked around for a sign of danger. There weren't any, the sound had disappeared as quickly as it had appeared, leaving it's spot to a terrifying silence.   The tyke gave an ear to any sound that might possibly indicate the existence of other living beings inside the house. Footsteps, heavy breathing, speaking, whistling, giggling... It was dark outside, the "it" must've come home already: lurking around the rooms to find his favorite offspring.   The child shivered in fear, considering that possibility. Maybe it would had been a better and safer idea to find a place to hide rather than sitting on the bed while listening the obscure silence...   "YOU... BITCH!"   The sudden yell that shook the brick walls of the house startled the little one. It was the "it", his voice reeking of madness. A faint whimper followed the roar, it sounded like mommy. The child tried to put the scenario together: it was rare that the "it" would deign to speak at all while angry, let alone just two words. "I'm pregnant." Mommy's voice echoed in the child's mind, it seemed she had told the "it" that she was pregnant: meaning, she was in grave danger.   The little one was quick to think. The loud sound had come from the living room, but one had to visit the "it"s study -which was strictly forbidden to enter- first, before carrying out this plan. The tiny feet waddled through the hall covered in red carpet before stopping in front of the room that must had not been entered. It didn't need a lock or any kind of additional security, no one would dare to disobey the "it".    Except one person.   The child barged into the study, running towards the escritoire. There were stacks of paper laying on top of it; plans for heists, would be a better choice of words if one must be specific. There was one, laying at the top of the stacks, unfolded. The bairn knew that plan was important, the “it” was bragging about it the other day; that it was fertile, such a good catch and it would’ve brought a lot of cash to their safes. Robbery of the National Bank, that was what it had been. And the tyke knew that the only way to lessen the “it”s anger towards mommy was if one would anger him more with something else.   Grabbing the monster’s personalized lighter, the child ran towards the living room, holding the plan. The “it” had already started treading on the poor woman, who was trapped on the corner of the room, with a pocket knife he was playing in his hands. He was neither laughing nor grinning, his pupils reeked of pure rage and he was breathing heavily. A rare sight: he was the type to look as much ecstatic as he could while tormenting someone.The child stepped into the room and yelled:   “Lookie here bastard!”   The monster’s head turned ninety degrees towards his favorite offspring. He normally wouldn’t mind being insulted by his successor, he even liked the courageous behavior; but he was way angry to play around. “Stop it you brat!” he growled through his gritted teeth, although it had absolutely no effect on the determined bairn.   “Oh, just when I would tell you to do so; what a coincidence!” the child mumbled mockingly, raising the arm holding the plans.   The “it”s pupils suddenly widened, recognizing the giant piece of paper. “How dare you… you…” he stammered.   “E-e-enter your… your study?” the child mocked him, before turning serious. Holding the lighter up, the tyke lit it up: “Stop it… or else…”   “Oh what will you do?” the madman snapped. “I dare you, do it and face the consequences. Come on, do it!” He stepped closer to mommy as the child brought the flame closer to the paper. “Oh really?” the “it” cooed. “Not bluffin’ now are ya?” He grabbed mommy by her arm and pulled her towards himself. The child’s hand twitched. The monster saw it and giggled:   “Now now little birdie… There is absolutely no reason to be alarmed.” He spun mommy around like they were dancing and brought her closer to his torso before he brought his hands together on the woman’s stomach, pulling her for a tight embrace. They were both facing the child now. The madman rested his chin on the crying woman’s shoulder while giggling. “Don’t be fooled by the false alarms, kiddo!”   He buried his face in the woman’s neck and inhaled her scent audibly as he pressed his lips on her skin lightly. The child’s expression did not change. “You don’t know that one thing I know about you birdie…” the madman mocked and pressed the knife on the woman’s neck, “You’re not as courageous as you think!”   Everything happened in a second. As soon as the blade was pushed in the woman’s throat deep enough to draw a little amount of blood, the child let the flames touch the millions worth plan. The “it” stopped in his tracks as he saw the large burst of flames covering his months of work. “Nooo!” was the only thing he could yell as the woman –freed from his grip in the moment of chaos- ran towards the table, pulling the tablecloth off of it. She dropped it onto the fire and cut the flames from the oxygen, putting it out.    As soon as the commotion died down, the “it” and the child looked at each other. They both knew what was about to happen: the madman’s chest was moving up and down in anger and he was breathing heavily. He stood up and drew the blade out once more as he approached to the child.

 “You don’t know a single thing about me.” was the last thing the child could say that day.                                                           ***

 The child woke up in an hospital bed the next day. A secluded part of the hospital of course, where the corrupted doctors would deal with the “it”s business. The others knew about the place, but none of them had the guts to rat him out. There had been some people who dared to do that in the past, but lets say, they weren’t lucky enough to wake up in a hospital bed; or wake up, at all…                   The little one did not know the extent of the damage the “it” had caused; the only thing known was that it hurt too much to move, speak or do anything… Mommy knew there were four broken ribs, one broken arm and a leg, six broken fingers, multiple bruises, cuts and contusions in internal organs. She was aware her child had barely escaped death and now was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. She stood beside her child’s bed through the rough and painful nights of the healing process; big sis and big bro visited multiple times as well, bringing the baby with them.   The child was happy until that day, away from the house where the “it” visited the family every night. Sure, the pain was tormenting; but the “it” wouldn’t dare to pay a visit to a public hospital, even though it was filled with his corrupted doctors, that would be “pushing his luck”: even for his standards. He didn’t visit and mommy visited, still in one-piece.   That day; mommy was sitting on the chair, right side of the hospital bed. She held the little bandaged hand between hers, caressing it gently. The doctor had told them the child could’ve been released within one week, so the woman was slightly relieved. However, the bairn was not so happy to hear the “great” news, not wanting to see the face of that man again.   “I don’t wanna go back mommy.”   “But you must honey.”   “Why?” the tyke whined. “I don’t want to see him again. We can assume he feels the same, considering he sent me here in the first place.”   “He’s your daddy, of course he wants to see you again.”   The child laughed, the agony audible in the high-pitched tone, “Do you seriously believe in that mommy? He’s an egoist who finally found someone daring to challenge him, someone more exciting to torture. He didn’t like the last challenge though… Say mommy, when does this man ever sleep? Can’t we kill him right then?”   The woman’s soft expression suddenly changed, panic became audible in her voice, “What are you talking about? How can you talk about killing your own daddy?”   “In the eyes of mine, he’s a scary ghoul reviving every single night to ruin our lives mommy. I thought you agreed with me.”   Mommy looked puzzled and bit her lower lip, “Look honey…” she stammered. “I know it might not seem like it, but he… he really does love us. I promise you, he can’t just help himself.”   The five year old stared at her in shock, eyes wide. “How… how do you know that mommy? Because he hasn’t murdered all of us yet?”   “He’d never honey…”   “Oh please quit talking!” the child yelled. “Are you stupid, because being blind won’t be an excuse this time. Just look at me mommy: look at what he did to me, imagine the things he’ll do to me…”   “You don’t know him, he still loves me…” the woman tried to argue but was greeted by an high-pitched scream: “GET OUT! SOMEONE GET THIS WOMAN OUT OF MY ROOM!”   Mommy tried to silence her, but nothing would work. She sighed and took her bag, walking away from the child who no longer believed in her, who had just understood what big sis meant. As the woman glanced at the teary eyes one last time before the door closed, she saw the adoring gaze the child always gave her was replaced with a disappointed one, for eternity.                                         

                                                            ***  

  “It was good while it lasted without my grandpa involved. But I’m bored honey, I won’t be playing this stupid game anymore.”   The words which didn’t make any sense echoed in the Joker’s mind as he was pointlessly trying to understand them. He remembered every single thing she said, they didn’t add up. “And I should be frank too, if I wasn’t interested in you I really wouldn’t pull off all that crap! You totally got me handsome!” “You could’ve easily scared me to death like you did to the others before, why choose to make me fall in love?” “For the record, I never wanted it to be over.” “After all I’ve done: curing your traumas by erasing your bad memories from your mind, inspiring you to open a brand new club after me, offering you a game, breaking you out of an asylum, liking you, saving your life, becoming a psychiatrist for your sake, making you feel emotions, killing your rivals… How could I possibly face you?”   She had confessed many times: she did love him, she enjoyed their little game, she worked hard in order to save his life.   Then why was Harley backing down now? Did he really matter so little to her? He gritted his teeth, there was absolutely no way of him backing down this time… “What do you mean?” he hissed like a snake, tightening his grip on the purple cane. Harley turned her face towards him and tilted her head, smiling: “I meant that I won’t be playing games with you from now on… sorry.” She drank the rest of her Black Russian off and signaled Harry with her hand. The not-so-intimidating-married-with-kids-businessman-attired man hurried towards the back entrance of the booth and held the beads out of the woman’s way.   The Joker watched her leaving and started laughing like the madman he was. “Fire in my loins…” he leaned on the cane more. “The itch in my crotch…” he stood up with an agile movement. “Oh my infamous Harley Quinn!” he shouted, as he hurried towards the back entrance. Frost was quick to follow him. As soon as the Joker passed through the sill and into the dark backstreet, the cold air hit his face. He looked at Harley, who had obviously heard his yelling. He opened his arms, with the cane in his hands, “Tell me, where the hell ya’ think you’re going, hmm?” he shouted.   Harley waited for him to approach, one of her eyebrows raised in a cocky way. Harry’s face did not show any emotion, but he didn’t moved an inch away from his boss. Frost held his breath as the two came face to face: Harley holding his arms in front of her, hands brought together, spine straight like she was a member of the royal family as a proper lady; while the Joker’s arms were opened wide, as he was moving dramatically like he was an actor in a play.   Harley giggled, she just adored his theatrics! She continued to stare at the madman in the eye.   Harry cleared his throat awkwardly. “Say, Mr. Frost; let’s wait for them in our cars shall we?” What? No way!, thought Frost. How am I supposed to just… leave? Damn you Cooper…   Harry rushed towards him and technically dragged the bulky man away by pulling his arm. He whispered: “Of course we are not leaving… Are you stupid? I am technically her father, we’re going to watch and listen them from a distance: I’ve bugged Harley.”    After he no longer could see the two henchmen anymore, J cracked his neck and growled. “Don’t you know pumpkin? You don’t get to run away whenever you want, it doesn’t work that way.”   Lady Snowblood giggled playfully: “Oh Mistah J, believe me: I am not the kind of woman to run away; I am the kind who does what she wants. I play when I want, where I want, with who I want. And now, I don’t want to play at all.”   The Joker was shaking with rage building up inside his veins. “Listen, doll…” he grunted.   Harley threw her head back and started to shake with laughter. “Oh, do you just have any idea of how much I love you? You’re so intense! So much so, that I don’t want to continue this game of us anymore.”   The Joker furrowed his brows, that definitely did not make any sense. He stared at the woman in pure confusion as she did something unexpected.   Wrapping her arms around his neck, she got closer to him as her lips collided with his. Harley placed slow kisses on his lips at first before she bit his lower lip slightly. The moment she did that, the madman grabbed her waist; pressing her torso to his tighter. His other hand moved towards the back of her head and grabbed her silken hair. It held her in place, making it impossible for her to break the kiss. She parted her lips slightly and allowed his tongue tongue to slide in. The Joker could feel the heat emanating from her cheeks, as well as her lips. He moved his hand from her hair and placed it on her burning cheek. She let out a slight moan.   They broke the kiss at the same time, panting. Harley rested her hands on the sides of the Joker’s face as he embraced her. She giggled, he felt her hot breath on his lips. “I really don’t want to play around anymore. I will be serious. It’s time to enjoy my meal.” She licked her lips and purred. The Joker growled in annoyance as he rolled his eyes.   “Do you always fall for these kinds of plays on words puddin’? Or were you just too excited to see me?” she pecked his lips lightly. “You got all worked up in a second, thinking I would leave you. Your face was priceless!”   The Joker grunted and slapped her ass, “You little vixen, don’t lie to me again.”   “Slow down cowboy, I haven’t lied to you since that husband and kid time; I really didn’t want to continue playing that game of ours. You, stalking me like a creep and finding nothing in return, getting angry. Me, bored as hell, doing nothing; knowing everything in advance. Listening ramblings of grandpa about how getting a boyfriend will be the end of me. You know, our game was pretty annoying. But if you insist on continuing it that much, I can disappear again and laugh at your useless attempts of finding me. Or is our current situation okay puddin’?”   The Joker looked at the woman in his arms, grinning; “Oh, it is perfect my dear.” Harley smirked, “Then let me scratch that itch of yours.”

 He purred as an answer before throwing his head back to make the small alley shiver with his infamous laugh echoing through it..

 Well, finally, am I right? The part with the child is so hard to write -due to my decision of not using any pronouns for the little one that hints to any kind of gender: like she, he, her, him...etc.- So, it takes a lot of time: Some of you may have just assumed the kid’s gender, therefore identity. But I haven’t told you... yet.

@thefaultinourstudying

@diyunho

@killer-khaleesi

@jokersonme​

[nanyoky]

QUICKBIRD obviously but also do Wanda/Bucky AND Wanda/Vision please. for me. pretty please with a cherry and chocolate and sprinkles on top.

THIS IS WHY YOU ARE MY FAVORITE

Quickbird:

who’s the werewolf and who’s the hunter: Hunter!Sam and Werewolf!Pietro (I have a distinct image in my mind of anthony mackie as a wereworlf/vampire hunter in my head? did someone make a gifset at one point? That isn’t a real movie is it?)

who’s the mermaid and who’s the fisherman: Merman!Sam and Fisherman!Pietro

who’s the witch and who’s the familiar: Witch!Sam and Pietro is his cat familiar ala Thackary Binx in hocus pocus omg 

who’s the barista and who’s the coffee addict: Sam needs his coffee at all hours, Pietro isn’t allowed at the register anymore, so he makes Wanda (better at faking politeness, so she’s always on the register) write flirty notes “From the kitchen” on Sam’s cup.

who’s the professor and who’s the TA: OMG ESSAY I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING. Because they hooked up at the end of last semester and they’d never met but judging on uh- age... Sam sorta figured Pietro was a student at the university where he lectures but it wasn’t a problem cuz he isn’t technically his student and then couple weeks later at the start of the semester he’s assigned a new TA and OH FUCK. And like every day is just “can you stop writing on the board and gesturing so animatedly with your sleeves rolled up all these freshman can def tell I’m daydreaming and staring at your ass all day as is just CHILL” and “can you just NOT come in with sex hair every day and slump back in your seat and have a dumb little smile whenever I lose my thread because you caught my eye and EVERYONE KNOWS STOP THIS I’M GOING TO GET FIRED” and “*both at the same time* AND STOP DOING THAT WITH YOUR PEN THIS ORAL FIXATION IS OUT OF CONTROL” and the poor helpless freshmen like “please stop this we need to pass our government credit”

who’s the knight and who’s the prince(ss): since winter soldier, we know that Sam “41st floor! 41st!” Wilson is def the type to be all “YOU’RE RESCUING ME WRONG”

who’s the teacher and who’s the single parent: i don’t know of any baby falcons, so: Luna never stops talking about her kindergarten teacher and then it’s parent’s day and Pietro’s just really embarrassed he has a crush on the same guy as his six year old.

who’s the writer and who’s the editor: Pietro’s not so much a writer as a translator and they only know each other through snide bitchy email threads like “this passage isn’t actually how people speak” “well it’s what it SAYS in Magyar so deal with it.” “or you could just say this thing that makes more sense” “NEVER.”

Winterwitch:

who’s the werewolf and who’s the hunter: I’ve already written brief mention of werewolf!Bucky, so THAT. omg hunter!wanda. I need to design that outfit.

who’s the mermaid and who’s the fisherman: Mermaid Wanda is fucking deadly omg. Bucky def looks like he’s spent good time on a boat.

who’s the witch and who’s the familiar: Easy. Bucky is a wolf.

who’s the barista and who’s the coffee addict: this is the same au as above and lots of misunderstandings are had when Sam and Bucky come in at the same time and get the wrong drinks- ergo the messages from the wrong twin.

who’s the professor and who’s the TA: Wanda is a community ed. psych teacher and Bucky went directly into the service and never got the college experience so he’s just taking a few night classes and his therapist says getting involved more with students and staff as a community will help him reenter civilian life. But then they just stay up late together grading papers and then there’s wine and then sloppy makeouts on Wanda’s apartment floor and that’s not what his therapist meant but hey whatever works.

who’s the knight and who’s the prince(ss): Bucky has been locked away and brainwashed in the tower and Wanda has to storm the castle with her magic to free him. I also need magical knight!wanda outfit designs in my life.

who’s the teacher and who’s the single parent: Parent!Bucky and Teacher!Wanda

who’s the writer and who’s the editor: Bucky hates his job but this novel came across his desk and it’s dark and weird and fucking unflinchingly PRIMAL without indulging in trauma-porn or glorifying the violence of it and he’s GOT to meet this writer.

Scarletvision (OF COURSE, FOR YOU):

who’s the werewolf and who’s the hunter: I’m sorry I’m just stuck on hunter!wanda now regardless of who her monster boyfriend is.

who’s the mermaid and who’s the fisherman: Merman!Vision and fisherwoman!Wanda. Possibly same au as the quickbird one.

who’s the witch and who’s the familiar: Easy. Vision is a raven

who’s the barista and who’s the coffee addict: Wanda and Pietro shuffle into the all hours shop after their bar shifts and no matter what time it is the same guy is on the register? Like what the fuck does he ever sleep? So they’re on a mission to figure out what his deal is.

who’s the professor and who’s the TA: Wanda teaches a language course and she normally refuses to take a TA that’s not a native speaker like her but her colleagues convince her to let Vision have a shot because he works harder than anyone and his aptitude is incredible. ((why am i into these ones so much tonight this is patently NOT MY JAM normally- but for these ships? YES PLEASE.))

who’s the knight and who’s the prince(ss): Knight!Wanda and Prince!Vision. I feel Prince Vision is very reluctant to follow Lady Wanda out of the tower. His books, you see. He needs time to pack- and are you sure that rope is going to safely carry both our weights on the way down? I haven’t calculated it yet but I believe your armor alone could be enough to cause sufficient strain to-

who’s the teacher and who’s the single parent: Parent!Wanda, Teacher!Vision

who’s the writer and who’s the editor: Wanda is ready to move on to a different publishing house due to the higher ups wanting to gut her magnum opus, but Vision is determined to win them over without sacrificing the soul of her work.

That was so fun and I am a SUCKER for dumb aus!!!!

[atleastputinsomeeffortinuroc]

Rant/Review: Powerpuff Girls D -or- Worse Than The Reboot

(Yes. This gif describes it perfectly. Plus, I didn’t want to disgrace the powerpuff girls’ very image with this shit. So there.)

Ok, I’m not going to lie. My initial plan for this rant was to do a full on review and rant about my gripes and bitterness towards an animated show everyone likes for some reason (which you’ll probably see in the near future,) but something happened. 

And, uh…Ok. Before I start. You ever find something so dumb, stupid and hilarious that once you see it you find you’ve gotta tell EVERYBODY about it? Like it’s so incomprehensible to your mind about what you just saw that you’re left stunned and without words? But not in the good way? In the “What in the actual fuck” way?

WELL! GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!

I was doing my usual shit on the internet, minding my own business, when I just so happened upon an old webcomic I had read back when I was a younger kid. A little comic called “Powerpuff Girls Doujinshi” by a dude named Bleedman (who the Encyclopedia describes as a man who “shows little talent for drawing, and has no imagination when it comes to storytelling.”) I’m not going to lie to you, I remember having fond memories of reading that as a kid. A kid who didn’t know any better and thought that Mulan II was just as good as the first one. A kid who was honestly a moron. And still is a moron to some capacity.

I snorted and thought, “Hey. I’ve got nothing better to do. Let’s blow a couple hours and read this shit and bring back some good ol’ nostalgia, huh?”

That decision has changed me. For the better or for the worse, I can’t say. But let me tell you, this shitty web comic is both the stupidest and yet oddest reads I’ve had since I read “Face the Strange.” And it left me almost wanting to recommend it in some demented capacity just to see other people’s reactions to this weird ass shit.

Let’s back up, though. What’s this webcomic about? Well, you remember that show Powerpuff Girls? Remember how much you loved it before the reboot shat on it with outdated jokes and corporate memes? Imagine those three (well, I say those three but more of shells of their characters, but I’ll get into that in a bit,) in a city where every single cartoon character you’ve ever seen seems to exist…and in some generic anime plot and setting.

Yeah. That’s what I did with my day. I’m a REAL adult.

But what else do I even say? Already you’ve made a decision in your mind about whether or not your morbid curiosity is going to give this thing the time of day. Recommended or not. Plus, it’s over ten chapters and ten YEARS OLD.  The man who is doing the comic I think is still working on this sunvabitch like it’s his magnum opus. Going at this thing in a single sitting will take the entire website’s bandwidth. 

And yet, I still kind of want to go into it. Because, again, I think this crap is funny. (Though there is some shit that happened in the background that is honestly disturbing, but I’ll get to that when I get to it) Criticism or not, I do technically recommend it as this terrible reverse masterpiece of just…just pure shit, but only in a certain shaudenfruede kind of way. In no ways am I saying this is good. At all. I want to emphasize that. 

So I’m gonna break it down by just using the first arc to highlight the kind of issues prevalent throughout this piece of shit’s run. (Arc being basically a kind of completed narrative structure that spans several comics with a beginning, middle and an end—YOU KNOW WHAT AN ARC IS.)

First arc is what I’m gonna call “The Introduction Arc.”

Also spoilers, I guess. But, y’know, who actually cares? This thing is a decade old.

  Right off the bat. The instant you pull up the comic. You immediately know we’re up shit’s creek without a paddle. The art style is BAD. Like that generic anime bullshit art kind of bad. In fact, I’d go so far as to say this shit looks TERRIBLE. And it’s worse in the actual comic (which I won’t show you, save for the image I’ve already got set up.

And, what’s even worse, is that it starts off EXACTLY LIKE EVERY HIGH SCHOOL ANIME IN EXISTENCE. “OH LOOK! IT’S THE NEW STUDENT! THEY’RE WACKY AND DON’T FIT IN! BUT, WHAT’S THIS?! THERE’S A STUDENT WHO IS JUST AS WACKY AND DIFFERENT AS THEY ARE”—I’m not a fan of this kind of storytelling. Can you tell?

The Powerpuff Girls are going to a new elementary school in Megaville (because fuck Townsville, it’s not like supervillains were tearing that place to shit on the daily, am I right?) And, like I stated before, they’re new and don’t fit in. (Insert *wah wah* noise here.) They go in front of the class and introduce themselves in front of their pink haired teacher (who, fun fact, NEVER SHOWS UP AGAIN AFTER THE FIRST COMIC,) and announce themselves as the superheroes known as The Powerpuff Girls. And the class starts laughing their asses off at them. (I WILL BE COMING BACK TO THIS SCENE IN A MOMENT.)

Everyone’s laughing, save for one person. Dexter. You know. From Dexter’s lab. Because, like I said, this is a big fan fiction comic. Later in the day during Recess, he says hello and demands to see their powers if they are superheroes because, as he says, he just so happens to “be a superhero” himself.

…NO HE’S NOT. HE’S AN ASSHOLE.

Then, when Buttercup starts getting up in his face, he says “Perhaps you’d like to see a sample of my capability and to prove which of us holds true.”

And…no, I don’t really know what language he’s speaking either. Yeah, he wants to fight these guys, and that’s obvious, but what is that sentence even? To see a sample of my capability. So how capable you are of being a hero? How is throwing down going to prove you’re a hero? Is it to see their abilities (which was stated two panels earlier?) Ok. Sure. I get that part. But to see which of us holds true is what confuses me. What holds true? There’s nothing in question. Nothing needed to be proven true or false. You have said this in the most incomprehensible way imaginable. Now, I know what you’re thinking.

Why does this matter?

…Honestly, it doesn’t. I’m just making a needless mountain out of a small molehill, but still. That is a bad line of dialogue.

Ok. Back on track. Buttercup being buttercup wants to brawl with Dexter. And they do. In true, glorious and terribly drawn fashion. But how does Dexter fight a Powerpuff Girl wearing nothing but a backpack? Oh that’s easy. HE JUST PULLS A MUCH OUT OF HIS ASS.

SERIOUSLY. THE PAGE BEFORE, HE HAS HIS BACKPACK, WHICH ASSUMEDLY IS WHERE THE MECH IS IN, AND HE DOESN’T MOVE OR FLINCH WHEN BUTTERCUP COMES FLYING AT HIM, AND THEN SUDDENLY—BAM. MECH SUIT. BECAUSE FUCK YOU.

Anywho, the two start throwing down. Buttercup flying and fighting whilst Dexter in his “fuck you” mechsuit tries to land in a couple hits. And while I can complain about how the negative space and lack of backgrounds make it feel lazy and pointless to stretch the fight scene out to three or four pages, but I want to harp on something else.

Ok, so do you remember back when the kids earlier were laughing at the powerpuff girls for calling themselves superheroes? Well, guess how they reach to this shit?

The answer: THEY DON’T! THEY JUST SORT OF STAND AROUND AND WATCH AS THESE TWO (and later FOUR, when Bubbles and Blossom show up to help whoop Dexter’s ass) THROW DOWN. SO IF THEY’RE FINE WITH THIS SHIT HAPPENING AT THEIR SCHOOL, THEN WHY THE FUCK WERE THEY LAUGHING!? AND FOR THAT MATTER, HAVE THEY NOT HEARD OF THE CONSTANT SUPERHERO FIGHTING GOING ON IN TOWNSVILLE?! BUT EVEN IF THEY DIDN’T, THEY KNOW DEXTER. DEXTER WITH THE FUCK YOU MECHSUIT. THREE GIRLS WHO CALL THEMSELVES SUPERHEROES ISN’T THAT FARFETCHED WHEN COMPARED TO HIM AND HIS ANTICS. AND THEY KNOW OF HIS SCIENTIFIC ANTICS, BY THE WAY. THEY REFERENCE IT LATER. SO WHY THE FUCK WAS THAT SCENE ADDED EXCEPT FOR TO ADD TO THE STUPID ANIME TROPE THAT EXISTS GO FUCK YOURSELF JESUS CHRIST

…

…

…Ok. Ok, I’m back.

So Blossom and Bubbles join in the fight after Buttercup seems out-matched because they’re more powerful together with sisterhood and friendship or whatever bullshit over these white backgrounds that are lazy as shit. And then they release those little energy things at him, presumably to MURDER this motherfucker, when Dexter slams his hands down and does…something? I dunno. They never explain, but they just blow up a good chunk of the ground and knocks the girls on their asses. Dexter gets ready to fight some more when the gym teacher stops them.

Who is this gym teacher?

Samurai. Fucking. JACK.

But in the background, while he’s yelling at them for doing shit, evil forces are in the background “hidden” on a rooftop and state how the girls are “more powerful than I have ever dreamed them to be” and other cryptic bullshit. I say “hidden” because there’s this BIG FUCKING MECH BEHIND THIS DEMON LOOKING THING AND THIS LOLI MOTHERFUCKER. AND I’M SORRY, BUT NO. I DON’T CARE HOW FAR AWAY YOU THINK THAT SHIT IS, YOU’RE GOING TO SEE A MECH THAT’S THE SIZE OF A DAMN HOUSE FROM A MILE AWAY. ESPECIALLY IF THAT SHIT IS PINK. WHICH, Y’KNOW, IT IS.

The next thing is a “joke” issue where it���s this spin off about “oh, Buttercup watches too much anime,” even though it isn’t funny. At all. Like…there is no real punchline. Just a bunch of “lol so random” unfunny shit.

But anyway, enough of that. Back with the main plot. Jack calls the group of four into the…dojo that the school has for some fucking reason, also, why the fuck is Samurai Jack teaching a gym class when he’s supposed to be fighting fuckin’ Aku and saving the future? Wh-what ever happened to that shit? Doesn’t matter—ok, I’ll go fuck myself then.

Anywho, Samurai Jack is not happy with the PROPERTY DESTRUCTION AND NEAR LOSS OF STUDENT LIFE OUT OF WHAT WAS BASICALLY A DICK MEASURING CONTEST, but has decided to LET IT GO. BECAUSE THE GIRLS ARE NEW. And Dexter’s punishment? HE’S GOTTA SHOW THE GIRLS AROUND THE SCHOOL. BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT. (Oh yeah, and Courage the Cowardly Dog is Jack’s dog now. Because his previous owner gave him to Jack to help him feel better, but the owners never came back so Jack, feeling NO RESPONSIBILITY TO FIND THIS DOG’S OWNER OR FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THME AT ALL, decides ‘eh, fuck it. I got a dog now. (And, to be fair, at least Courage is away from Eustace, that asshole.))

And then suddenly, BAM! THE ART STYLE CHANGES.

And when you get there, you’re going to ask the same question I asked which I will just go ahead and answer for you. No, you’re still reading the same comic, and yes, the same dude is doing the art for it. He just changed up his style. And, y’know, to be completely fair, it isn’t THAT bad. It’s not GOOD. But it’s not a pain to look at.

AAAAANYwho, blah, blah, blah, exposition, exposition, exposition. Dexter just lays out that Jack is basically a ninja (which is WRONG. SAMURAI ARE NOT NINJAS YOU FUCK.) And we see another problem that the writer has. An overusage of ellipsis.

And I know that sounds like a bullshit claim coming from ME, but here’s the thing.

My ellipsis? They’re only three dots. I keep ‘em like that.

This guy uses……….twenty……..dots to…..explain……….breaks in………………………………………….dialogue.

It’s something that, whenever I see it, call out for being really juvenile in terms of writing technique. Just use three dots, dude. You aren’t writing a rant on Tumblr. This is a comic. Fan or not.

Anywho, Bubbles is playing outside and alone with Courage, when suddenly this HUGE ASS MONSTEROUS LOOKIN’ THING SHOWS THE FUCK OUTTA NOWHERE. LIKE, OK. LOOK.

You set up a certain tone and art-style. Mainly just some cutesy bullshit. BUT YOU DO NOT, FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, IMMEDIATELY PUT THAT NEXT TO SOME BLOODY AND GORY THING WITH SHARP TEETH AND CLAWS WITHOUT GOOD REASON. Some comics can pull this off, like if it’s a parody or a joke. Courage the Cowardly Dog pulled this off because its tone was always so off the wall and creepy. But PPGD doesn’t have that luxury. It’s a generic high school anime. And what’s worse, is that it’s takin this shit SERIOUSLY. So it’s just JARRING as hell.

Especially when the next scene is immediately Courage doing charades with Dexter, Buttercup and Blossom to tell them that some huge freakin’ monster is outside in another *wah wah* tone.

Anywho, again, OUTSIDE OF THE FUCKIN’ SCHOOL, THERE’S ANOTHER BIG FIGHT. ONLY THIS TIME, IT’S WITH SOME BIG ASS DRAGON LOOKIN’ THING WHOSE DESIGN IS SO HARD TO PIN DOWN THAT IT JUST BECOMES A MIX OF FLESH AND METAL AT THIS POINT. ALSO. I’M PRETTY SURE THAT THIS THING HAS A BIG METAL SPIKE WHERE ITS DICK IS SUPPOSED TO BE.        

Anywho, Blossom topples over Dexter in, again, MORE ANIME BULLSHIT WITH THE BLUSHING AND THE “o-oh. I-I-I-I-I-I’m so sorry” CRAP AS BUBBLES IS ABOUT TO GET EATEN ALIVE BY THIS SPIKE DICK DRAGON MOTHERFUCKER.

Buttercup runs up to whip this thing’s ass when the dragon blasts her and then PRECEDES TO CHOMP INTO HER. WITH BLOOD BEGINNING TO SPUTTER OUT OF HER BODY.

WHAT. THE ACTUAL. FUCK.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BUTTERCUP IS FUCKING DEAD. (No she isn’t, obviously, but it’s just framed in such a way that you’d believe it.)

And then, right before Bubbles gets the same treatment, Dexter holds Blossom back as Jack leaps out of nowhere to slice that motherfuckin’ dragon to pieces. BECAUSE HE’S SAMURAI FUCKIN’ JACK BITCH.

AND HE SLICES THROUGH IT WITH HIS BLADE. AND BLOOD STARTS COMIN’ OUT OF THE STUMPS WHERE ITS HAND-MOUTH THINGS USED TO BE, and Buttercup wakes up in Jack’s arms and blushes. She’s now got a crush on him.

 Because fuck you.

 AND WITH THIS CHILD STILL IN HIS ARMS, AS THIS ARMLESS, SPIKE-DICKED DRAGON STARTS RUNNING TOWARDS HIM, JACK RAISES HIS BLADE AND PULLS THE ANIME SLICING BULLSHIT THAT YOU’VE SEEN IN EVERY ANIME AND MOVIE EVER. AND HE KILLS IT.

The day is saved…I guess? The kids look on from the windows, because the teachers I’m guessing DIDN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT GETTING THESE JUDS TO SAFETY WHEN THERE’S A FUCKING DRAGON IN WHAT’S ESSENTIALLY THE SCHOOL’S PLAYGROUND.

Now. Who sent this dragon? Why was it made?

WHY IT WAS MOJO JOJO OF COURSE! WHO IS WATCHING FROM A DISTANCE. SPECIFICALLY A COUPLE FUCKING FEET, BUT THE OTHERS CAN’T SEEM TO FUCKING HEAR HIS MONOLOGUE DESPITE THIS OR ARE ABLE TO SEE THIS GREEN MONKEY WITH THE SWIRL HELMET WITH THEIR PERIPHERAL FUCKING VISION.

Another plan of his to destroy the powerpuff girls that, come to think of it, really did almost work it axing one of them, but was defeated through the power of anime bullshit. But before Mojo Jojo can escape without being seen, he’s stopped by that Loli from earlier. “Another powerpuff girl” (never explained as of ten chapters in) named Bell. And as she grabs Jojo by the throat, she tells him that her father wants a word with him as monsters surround her.

Monsters that, again, NOBODY SEEMS TO FUCKING NOTICE OR BRING UP DESPITE BEING IN A PUBLIC SETTING. LIKE. AT ALL.

And with that, that’s the end of the first two chapters and the conclusion of the first arc. And this is just the beginning, my dudes. It gets MUCH stupider.

Mandark is introduced. DeeDee is revealed to be DEAD. Like LEGIT FUCKING DEAD. AND DEXTER IS TRYING TO REBUILD HER WITH THIS BLOODY FUCKING ANDROID. AND THEN THE COMIC BECOMES THE DEXTER SHOW AS BLOSSOM IS KIDNAPPED AND DEXTER HAS TO NOW SAVE HIS WAIFU THAT HE TOTALLY DOESN’T THINK IS HIS GIRLFRIEND FROM MANDARK WHO HAS KIDNAPPED HER SO HE CAN KILL HER TO HAVE REVENGE FOR THE DEATH OF DEEDEE BECAUSE MANDARK LIKED DEEDEE, AND HE BLAMES DEXTER FOR HER DEATH, EVEN THOUGH TECHNICALLY IT’S HIS FAULT.

AND THEN INVADER ZIM AND GIR ARE INTRODUCED. AND GIR IS A GIRL NOW APPARENTLY? OH AND MEGAS XLR IS THERE. AND BILLY AND MANDY. AND A BUNCH OF OTHER CARTOON CHARACTERS THAT ARE JUST THERE BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT. X-J9 IS THERE FOR A LITTLE BIT. THE MEN IN BLACK ARE THERE. TEEN TITANS AND THE JUSTICE LEAGUE ARE REFERENCED (WHICH BRINGS UP A WHOLE NEW CAN OF WORMS LATER ON DOWN THE LINE.)

IT’S A MESS.

It’s a car wreck of different shit that’s trying to be this edgy high school anime with blood and death while also incorporating your favorite cartoon characters from EVERY channel imaginable in this cutesy anime art style, complete with terrible dialogue and action sequences.

And…it’s almost kind of funny? As you’ve seen, it’s frustrating to think about. But it’s that fun kind of frustrating, where you can’t just help but laugh at how STUPID everything is. And how DESPERATELY it wants you to take it seriously the instant it gets dark.

It gets relatively worse writing wise, as you’ve no doubt noticed with that whole shpiel about the Mandark arc. But the characters drift from being themselves to being this kind of former shell of their personalities until they’re completely unrecognizable. Dexter becomes this distant, tortured soul who has a thing for science. Blossom becomes the girl in distress as she’s tied to the hip with Dexter in wanting to understand him. Buttercup becomes a tsundere for Jack…because, again, fuck you. And Blossom is just…there.

Also GIR is there and gets annoying. REALLY. FUCKING. QUICK.

But aside from that…yeah, it’s fucking terrible. Nothing good in it. At all. No redeeming qualities to be found. I only recommend it if you’re interested in going down the rabbit hole and laughing all the way down as you do because it’s just so terrible that it becomes a ball to laugh at.

And that’s all I would have to say on the matter…except for one little, kind of EXTREMELY IMPORTANT THING. And that’s the writer and artist. And how he may or may not be a pedophile.

Now I didn’t know this going into it this time around, I only found out about it while reading up on who the fuck made this shit for this little thing.

Now the art-style itself doesn’t show anything REALLY pedophilic. (Nothing I haven’t seen done far worse in an actual anime that tries to save itself, anywho.) The most you get are a couple high-skirt shots that are more part of the action sequences. There’s a beach section that you are afraid might get REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE, but it doesn’t go that direction. They never get naked. There’s no sex. It’s all just a bunch of anime tropes. With Lolis. Only the Lolis are actually in elementary school. (At least, as of chapter 10. I haven’t read past that. Nor do I really want to.) My point is, it didn’t feel malicious. Stupid and terrible, but not malicious.

But I can’t say the same for the next thing I’m going to look at.

This may have been a fun, stupid and brain numbing romp through memory lane for me (with a couple disturbing realizations towards the end,) but it didn’t do anything that crossed the line into offensive and terrible shit. I don’t think anything I’ve talked about has gone that far. The closest of which being the Barbara thing in the Killing Joke adaptation. But even then...they never went this fucking far. 

Within the pages of the infamous and dreaded “Grim Tales.”

 To be continued…