#sorry for so much venting lately 😞

[ccuriousmischieff]

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[alexturner2005]

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[call-me-copycat]

I don’t know if you take request but can you do an emergency request with aizawa with like a kid figure? Or like foster or adoptive kid or something who like got 🍇 threats and just is really not okay because men suck 😞💔 no but srs I know it’s not all men but what the flip..! Sorry if that was like a vent feel free to ignore if you’re uncomfortable by it but if you do please tag me!! Take care

Hi! I apologize for taking a few days to get to this, my energy hasn't been the best but I finished it! I hope this helps even a little, sorry to hear you went through such a thing (๑•́︿•̀๑)

I'm wishing you all the best and more!

The Hollows of the Mind

➤ Welcome - Introduction and request rules (requests are open + some info about me)

▶ Characters: Father! Aizawa & GN Reader [Platonic]

▶ Genre: Comfort

▶ Summary: You receive... Threats. Luckily, Aizawa's the best at both protection and comfort

▶ Word Count: 2146

▶ Warnings:

Mentions of assault

Threats given to reader

The night was cold. There was a slight breeze that made its way through the open window of your dorm room, but you couldn't be bothered to close it. You didn't have the energy.

You didn't have the energy for very much lately. All of it was drained from you when they showed up. You shuddered, trying to erase their vile threats from your mine where it seemed to imprint itself. Sometimes it amazed you how low people would crawl.

Time was the last thing on your mind. It seemed to drone on as you sat on your bed, zoning out as you stared out the window. Maybe you ought to close it soon.

A brief knock on your door sent you jumping a bit, but you quickly stilled as your father's figure came into view.

Aizawa was safe. Everyone knew that. He cared for his students with a burning passion and his past injuries were proof of how far he was willing to go. Villains feared him (sometimes students as well), but you and your class loved him.

Aizawa was safe.

"It's past lights out. You know what that means. "

For a moment you simply stared at him, frozen in confusion. It wasn't until he stretched out an open hand that you realized it was your phone that he wanted. You had lost track of time, and this was what you received.

As if things couldn't get bad enough.

With a sigh you reached out to pass him your phone, half-way apologies already forming in your mind.

"I'm sorry Sensei, I promise it won't happen again. "

Aizawa was observant. It was near impossible to hide anything from him, and he was normally able to pick up on things sometimes before you yourself could even tell.

Such as now. Body language was an important indicator of someone's emotions, and yours was drooping. You looked lethargic, and all your movements lacked any energy behind them. Something had brought you down, and suddenly Aizawa's attention was brought off the phone.

His normally stern expression morphed into one of concern, as the tone of your voice had caught him a little off guard. Placing your phone down on your table, his dark eyes studied your expression. This was not how you usually were. Something was off.

Once he made his way over to you, he gently placed a hand on your shoulder. "What's wrong?"

You didn't realize how out of it you were until you jumped at the sudden touch to your shoulder. It was unexpected, but not unfamiliar. You never jumped around him. You looked up to him, and in that moment Aizawa saw just how tired your eyes looked. They were dull.

Your thoughts swarmed your head as you contemplated on telling him or not, and what you'd even say if you did.

It was late, so it was supposed to be expected to see one tired around this time. But the fatigue that filled your eyes looked as though it had been there for a while. You didn't look tired... You looked exhausted, and Aizawa couldn't help but feel a pang of worry at this point.

Aizawa loved all his students. He'd do anything for them. But you. You were special to him, you were his. His child to care for, to look after, to love and accompany. While he wouldn't outright say it, you held a higher position in his heart compared to any student he's ever taught.

He moved to sit beside you on your bed this time, trying to look into your eyes as you turned away.

"[Name]..." Gently placing a finger on your cheek and turning your head so you'd face him, he sighed. "What happened? Talk to me." His voice was low, gentle. More gentle than usual.

Hesitantly, you brought your eyes up to face his. Aizawa was a familiar figure. He'd always been a beacon of hope for every single student in class 1-A, including you. So why couldn't you call upon him yourself?

"I-I..." It was hard, getting the words out. It hurt. You didn't want to relive it all over again. However, before you could begin speaking again, your phone lit up with yet another notification, the ping sound echoing in your ears.

Noticing your eyes widen from their droopy state unconsciously, Aizawa's attention is moved to the device. He concluded that whatever popped up on your phone was the issue at hand.

"Who is it from?" He asked as he stood up and reached out for it, much to your horror. Things were moving too fast. You wanted help, yes, but there was some unknown fear gripping you. Fear of what, you weren't sure.

"Wait!" Your voice rang hollow in your ears, surprising both Aizawa and yourself at the unexpected action. It instantly froze him in place, fingers hovering above the device.

You'd never raised your voice before, let alone at him, and it was only then that he had confirmation that whatever was going on wasn't to be taken lightly if you were acting this way.

Swiveling his head over to you, his expression remained solid as he spoke firmly. "Tell me what's wrong, now." He didn't mean to come off as cold, and you knew him well enough to know that he wasn't trying to be.

Aizawa saw an issue and he wouldn't let any barriers get in his way of fixing it - even if you were the constructor. He needed to know what was happening.

You were frozen in place, arm still reaching out from when you shouted. As you looked over towards your phone, the notifications glaring at you on the screen, you slowly lowered your arm as you mulled it over. Staring blankly at the screen, you felt hollow. All the fear had been sucked out of you, leaving you to feel foolish at keeping quiet. A risky thought jumped ahead in your mind, and before you could think twice you were already opening your mouth.

"You... You can open it."

You slowly slid your eyes down to the ground, not wanting to see his expression and just wanting the whole ordeal to be over. Fear and shame and sorrow bled into your thoughts daily. You just wanted someone... Anyone to save you. To reach out a hand.

Which is what Aizawa always did best.

He wasn't expecting the sudden compliance, but he wasn't going to sit and complain. Slowly, he turned to your phone and unlocked it, reading through everything that showed on the screen.

You could only stare at the floor. You didn't want to see him. You didn't want anything to do with this whole ordeal anymore. You just wanted to live your life the way you used to. You didn't want to be scared.

The air between the both of you was thick with tension, silent and heavy. Everything came to a standstill for a brief moment, before Aizawa suddenly slammed your phone back down onto your desk.

You shot your head up, only to see him looking at the floor with his fist clenched. He was trembling. But he wasn't scared. Far from it.

He was mad. Not mad, enraged.

He wanted to find every single idiot who even thought that way about you. It was difficult to contain himself, and for a moment he had to heave a breath just to steel himself so he could speak.

"For how long..."

His voice shook the slightest bit as he looked up at you.

Turning away so you wouldn't be facing him, you swallowed. "Awhile," you softly muttered. Once again, you were drowned in raging silence.

That little comment caused Aizawa's heart to break, and he clenched his fist to keep himself from blowing up from anger.

"Why didn't you tell someone?.... Why didn't you tell me?"

His voice was low, he really couldn't hide the amount of pain in his voice hearing that this wasn't a single comment thrown at you.

You sucked in a breath, both you and Aizawa knowing that the answer wasn't that simple.

"I was scared..."

Looking up from the ground, you turn your attention to the still-open window.

"I know that either way I would've been scared... Telling someone or not. But I thought... I thought..." You couldn't help the way your eyes began to water as you huddled in on yourself. "I thought I could ignore it. "

Your reflection bounced in his dark eyes as he watched you intently. So badly did he want to hold you, to put a hand on your head and tell you that everything would be okay in the end.

He clenched his fist even tighter until his knuckles turned white.

"Ignore it...?" He breathed out, his voice reverberating through the room. He gently grabbed your shoulder and made it so you had to look up at him. You stilled upon sight of his upset decomposed expression.

"This is not something you can just ignore and just wait for it to go away."

His words hit you like a brick wall, but they were true. Aizawa was no sweetheart, he never sugarcoated things. He was true, a realist. He was stern, he scared people, he was strict... Yet you and many others knew that if you unraveled him you'd find a softened heart.

"I've come to realize that." You muttered, wiping your nose on your sleeve as your eyes threatened to spill over.

A part of Aizawa always broke upon seeing you sad. He softly squeezed your shoulder, gently reaching up to wipe your falling tears.

"It should not have taken this long for you to realize that..."

He was trying so very hard to contain himself and stay calm and collected. He needed to, for your sake. He let his hand fall from your cheek as he clenched his fist again.

"I don't care what they said..."

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as a new wave of anger was washing over him at the thoughts of everything that was said to you. All those threats... They wouldn't have the power to do a single thing. He'd make sure of it.

"I won't let any of them lay a finger on you, do you understand me?"

You finally turned all your attention onto him, and with teary eyes you let out a wobbly smile. You failed to compose yourself, ending with your throwing yourself at him, sobbing in his arms as he caught you and held your close.

He was your father.

Your teacher.

Your mentor.

He was strong. Villains feared him. Students looked up to him. He was safe. He loved you as you did him. You just wanted to be safe, and here it was. It was him.

"T-thank y-you..." You hid your face in his shirt as you sniffled.

With his arms wrapped around you in a tight embrace, Aizawa held you close, gently running a hand through your hair.

He cared so deeply for you that it genuinely hurt at times. You occupied his mind nearly all day and all night. He was always worried, knowing how cruel and unjust the world could be. That's why he knew something like this was bound to form. Luckily, he was a formidable wall, keeping anything from reaching you. He'd be damned if he didn't give his all, no matter the threat level.

Pressing his lips against your forehead, he sighed. "You don't have to thank me y'know."

Breathing in, he cracked a small smile as he looked at you lovingly. "I'd do anything to keep you safe, doesn't matter if you ask me to or not."

You breathed, feeling lighter somehow. It was coming to an end. Resting your head in the crook of his neck, you closed your eyes as you finally allowed yourself to relax.

Aizawa rested his face in your hair, rubbing your back as he felt all the tension leave your body at once. He was happy to take that weight from you. It was a father's job, after all. You weren't meant to carry it anyway. So badly did he want to hunt down those that threatened you, and to show them some real threats instead...

But right now... There was something more important.

He continued his ministrations, realizing that you had fallen asleep in his arms. Heaving a sigh, he looked down at you once more, a smile gracing his features. He really did love you. Squeezing you gently so as to not wake you, he muttered "I'm going to fix this, okay?"

He closed his eyes for a moment, reveling in the warmth that you radiated, before standing up and closing the window you left open with a final thud.

@lololol00

I hope this is what you wanted! Thank you for requesting, I hope you have a lovely day! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

[softgreengrass]

would you be willing to do a sad nat one shot? sorry I just need to feel something 💀

Punishment

Natasha Romanoff x reader

Summary: you are dead (sorry) and nat has to live with that 😞 (most of this takes place inside of a dream hopefully it’s not too confusing)

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: death,, referenced torture

Author’s Note: sorry this is on the shorter side! tysm for requesting ☺️ i also use fanfiction to feel so hopefully it’s sad enough for you

It’s a nightmare, like always. You’re there, like always.

“Nat!” your voice rings out, light and sweet in the hazy morning light, and Natasha rolls over, burying her face in your side of the bed. It’s still warm. “Nat!”

“Five more minutes,” she grumbles back.

Your footsteps come to a stop next to the bed. “I made cinnamon rolls, you know.”

Natasha smiles to herself. It all feels so, so real. The sheets smell like your lotion, and the sun is pale through the curtains, just like it always is in winter. How it was the last winter you were with her.

You poke her shoulder. “Aren’t you supposed to be a superspy? Get up.”

“I’m off the clock,” she says, sitting up anyways. The glimmer in your eyes looks so real. Her lungs tighten at that, and she wraps her arms around your waist, hugging you tight.

You laugh and run your fingers through her hair. “Missed me that much, huh?”

She closes her eyes and sinks deeper into you, praying as hard as she ever has. Begging for just one more life with you. She remembers how to breathe again as you scratch her scalp gently and lean into her embrace, and she inhales you again.

After far too little time passes, you rest your hands on her shoulders. “Come on, baby. They’re gonna get cold.”

She lets you lead her out of the bedroom, hands intertwined. The apartment looks just how you left it. Because it’s so easy to, she slips back into routine. Like you’re there every day when she wakes up. She tugs open the blinds over the sink and waters the plants on the windowsill; you pour two cups of coffee. You sit down at the table together like it’s any old Saturday.

“What’s with you today?” you ask with a slight smile, immediately pulling a cinnamon roll from the pan.

“Me?” Natasha replies.

“No, the milkman.”

She grins, shaking her head. “Sorry. I don’t know, I’m just out of it.”

“Well, you’re not too out of it to talk crossword, right?”

God, she had forgotten about that. You’ve been on a crossword kick lately, though you heavily rely on Natasha’s knowledge bank of language and policy and science. Really, you mostly cover the pop culture clues. “Never.”

You spread the newspaper out between the both of you and drop a pencil in front of her. “I’ll start with down, you’ll start with across?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

You scribble down some answers, eyebrows furrowed.

Natasha stands up for a moment, just to get the cream, but when she turns back around she’s not in the kitchen anymore. She’s strapped to that chair, staring at you in that cell. Your eyes are bloodshot. The dreams always wind up here, no matter how innocently they start, and Natasha’s stomach churns.

“Nat,” you croak, and her heart shatters for the millionth time.

She thrashes against her restraints, but they must be made of fucking vibranium because they cut into her wrists without budging. She doesn’t have any tricks up her sleeve — she’s in her pajamas, for God’s sake. No widow’s bite or portable EMP. Not even a way to signal Clint.

“Nat, please,” you beg, your voice as raw as the bruises on your face.

“I’m going to-” she says, struggling against the restraints again. “I’m going to get you out.”

But of course, she can’t. She might as well be a bronze statue in that chair. They’re going to make her watch you die again.

She racks her brain for as long as she can, fights the excruciating dejá vu. Maybe something will be different this time. Maybe she can get someone’s attention, some lackey she can convince to let her out. She’ll murder them all, then. Murder them and take you home.

A vent catches her eye, in the corner of your cell. You don’t have much at your disposal, but there’s a food tray on the floor that might work. She has to say your name three times before you recognize it.

“What?” you ask suddenly, eyes wide.

“I need you to try something, okay?”

You’re weak. You’ve been there for days at the minimum, been under intense interrogation lights and an array of torture methods. Natasha was the one trained for that, not you. “I don’t know…”

“Please.”

You swallow iron-tinged spit.

“Can you break that in half?” Natasha whispers, flicking her eyes to the tray. She doesn’t remember if you’re under surveillance or not. She figures you must be.

Your hands shake as you reach for it. It must be tin, that’s how flimsy and light it is, but you know you don’t have the strength to break it by hand. That ship sailed about three gut punches ago. You’d vomited out everything but your will to live, though that was fading fast too.

“Use your legs,” Natasha hisses like she can read your mind. “Stick it under something, get leverage.”

The sight of you stumbling to the bunk sends fire up her throat. She’s going to burn them all alive.

You wedge the tray under one of the bunk’s legs and pull up on the other side before stepping down on it as hard as you can. All it does is fold in half.

“Fuck,” Natasha mutters. “Can you rip it? With your teeth or something?”

You’re pretty sure your teeth would fall out if you so much as bite an apple, so you drive the tray down on the sharpest edge you can find: the corner of the tiny sink. Later, Natasha will think about how strange it was that the cell had so many amenities. She’ll come up with triple the ways to escape. All too late.

The corner pierces it, and you claw at the hole until the tray is split in half. It slices your fingers in more places than you can count.

“Use it on the vent,” Natasha says. Despite herself, she feels an ember of hope in her chest. You’d never gotten this close before. She can barely watch as you balance on top of the sink, trying to shove the sharp little metal sheet into the seam between the vent and wall. It’s slippery with blood.

A door in the cell she hadn’t even noticed swings open. A man in black storms in. Before she can get a word out, he grabs you, throws you to the ground.

Natasha recoils, forcing her eyes back open as quickly as possible. He kicks you, over and over, and you cry for mercy.

Her restraints seem to tighten. They cut off her circulation, so that not even dislocating her wrists would let her save you. She’s absolutely helpless. You sob and curl into yourself, and she’s sure she’s never felt such anguish before. But she has, and she certainly will again.

Her eyes shoot open to dark ceiling. She’s in the living room, using the couch like a cot. She still hasn’t brought herself to touch the bed you made. She probably never will.

She drags herself to her feet and shuffles to the kitchen counter, turning on the electric kettle. Only chamomile helps her breathe now.

All those people she’d managed to kill. All those missions she’d executed to perfection, for the Red Room and HYDRA and Fury. All of the people caught in the crossfire of her tunnel vision. And yet, in the single most important moment of her life, she had failed. Failed.

She figures it could’ve been karma. A cosmic punishment for the arrogance of trying to wipe her slate clean. With that much sin to atone for, she shouldn’t be able to live happily. That’s what the universe seems to think, at least.

[crazy-lazy-elder-sims]

I apologize to all my mutuals and discord servers and discord friends for not talking to anyone for months now, and not making cc and just not being as active as i used to

Im completely burned out on socializing as its been extremely stressful irl work is stressful and home like is extremely stressful and people stomp on my boundaries left nd right and keep talking to me no matter how many times i ak them not to

My parents dont care and keep forcing me to listen to them even if i have a spliting headache unfortunately as i live with them i cant exactly leave the room when i please as that will make them hurl more abuse towards me Which defeats the point, and im not kidding but sometimes i'd be sitting on the train and people start talking to me one lady kept pulling my headphones it was so fucking stressful

Everyone is utterly miserable here (rightfully so its very hard to even live or breath cause everything is so corrupted and expensive) but weirdly lately they will not hesitate to vent on literally anyone infront of them

Yesterday i was in a taxi and the driver made a pun about my home street's name and i laughed because it was funny and like i like the small pleasantries between people its harmless but i kid you not the next words out of his mouth were him complaining about everything under the sun and he got so heated that he was banging the steering wheel left and right instead of idk guiding it normally absolutely terrifying and i did not need him to dump his problems on me like that and i kid you not every fucking interaction i have is like that i was at the grocery store looking at coffee and some really old lady was like "prices are insane huh?" I didnt reply and focused on the coffee The next thing i know shes holding onto my arm tightly and telling me about how miserable thing make her it started with prices and ended with her dead husband its all like that if you even glance at people while passing by they start talking and it always leads to an angey vent.

I understand the frustration i am too frustrated by this life but idk why is this the norm now

And why me ? The most introverted person in the world i barley even have social battery for myself for my own things and now everyone has turned to consuming everyone elses social battery for thier own good its exhausting

I know i have to learn to say no and be assertive but As i said i already am a super introverted person (and this is not an exsagration i once only left the house for about 5 times total in 2 years i jut dont engage with the world much as it exhausts me)

But untill i get successful at pushing back against people and also the bigger problem my parents im gonna barely have any energy to talk to people online or in discord im sorry i can only do so much at once 😞

[lilac-den]

My god i forgot how many AU there were, not to mention 2 different type of game. I am so sorry gurll🙏😞. Regarding my previous ask, it was more towards the SK DarkAU one. (P.S, sorry for taking so long to tell u, i kinda got nervous/chicken out when i realize that i forgot to add which game and AU it was😅)

Hey, no problem! XD I assume this is the question you mean:

I'll put it under the line in case there are people who don't wish to know. Warning: This is in an AU where the SK!ROs are their 'worst' selves!

Jupiter: They're all about control and they won't be above having pregnancy shackle MC. But surprisingly, they'll be a little gentler with pregnant!MC. They just won't do things that could potentially lose the child.

Mercury: They'll be very ecstatic and given their medical knowledge, they would know the symptoms if MC exhibits them. They'll be going all out, getting baby clothes and toys as well as parenting books. After all, MC is going be the housespouse, right? They won't leave Mercury at all and love their child in this comfy, safe home, right?

Bacchus: They'll just stare, as per usual. They won't have much of a reaction nor would they comment much. But the feeling of the baby kicking in the stomach would piqued their interest a little bit, at the very least. Much like a 'What's that?' head tilt.

Mars: They're probably gonna have mixed feelings? They'll reaction to the pregnancy with a furious 'WHAT?!' and won't take the news well. They'll probably leave to punch something or someone to vent out their fury. After a long while (half a day? A day or two?), Mars comes back and just tells MC that the two of them are raising the kid but if MC shows any form of infidelity or the kid ends up not being theirs, Mars will kill MC, the baby and then themselves.

It would have gone darker but I rather not traumatize you. 🤐😶

Mendacius: Very pleased. Looks like all those poked broken condoms really were unreliable, huh? Oh well, it's just too late to perform abortion! Hm? What do you mean there's still time? As if MC would ever have the chance or be able to! You don't want to kill an unborn child, do you?

[bookishtheaterlover7]

Lately I see him in every photo and sighting and what I feel is like a great resentment and hatred towards him and not because he is married, but because he knows that he is a great disappointment to himself and that makes me feel disappointed in him; It ended with the smiling and happy Chris that I fell in love with years ago, now everything about him is so fake, nothing is genuine about him anymore and his sad look is at the extremes, those photos with the fans in the Emerald City were so pitiful, in Each one of them only showed a man who reflected immense sadness in his eyes, that is something that people who are perceptive grasp immediately (I have met many people like that, who pretended happiness and deep down carried great sadness to them. hills, I even had a friend who was an extremely happy person and always transmitted that great energy to everyone she met and when she emigrated to another country, every time she published her photos on Facebook I was able to detect the sadness in her eyes, that person committed suicide at the beginning of this year) looks never lie and a person's body language is infallible and in that aspect he is an open book, he is always tense and anxious when he is seen next to her, as if he did not want to be and that bothers me so much, it makes me think that he is a huge idiot for agreeing to that miserable show, he has fallen so low, now he shows himself as a Chris afraid of being in public because it seems that he feels judged at all times and the worst is that now all his public appearances must be made hand in hand with his supposed wife, which means less Chris Evans happy and smiling for me and his fans.

I can no longer see his photos without feeling great disappointment, because now more than ever I am aware that now he is a big lie.

I really hope to see the real Chris Evans again one day, the one he was before he got involved with that woman and I also hope that his mental health goes well, because in each new photo in which he appears more miserable he looks more miserable, he is still a prince beautiful, but a prince who carries a great weight on his back.

I'm sorry about your friend, An🫶n. That must've been difficult. 😞

And I see what you mean. For most of the ECCC pics, he had the same, dare I say, copy paste smile.

You could scroll through the pictures, and Chris looks like he hasn't moved a muscle. And that's why, the rare photos of Chris where he has the biggest smile, are ones to treasure. Because it's the only glimpses of old Chris that we can get in this messy period.

I'm also hoping for the best. And that this didn't destroy his mental health, as well as, praying that he knows he's got Fans who supports him.

Don't get me wrong, we'll still get disappointed in his choices. But it's nothing compared to the anger we have towards the people who are pushing this way past the line.

Thank you for venting, An🫶n. I hoped it helped you 🥺

[theo4eve]

Hi<3

Life's been treating you like dog shit lately and I'm so sorry for that. If it helps, just know I'm here if you need someone to vent with. (Even though it's not physically) I can always listen. This week has also been rough for me, and just this year ig, so I don't blame you😭

LOVE YOU SUNSHINE ❗😞

Hi 🥺

Thank you so much, you can always dm me too. Although I don't think I'll be that great, I'll listen. I hope it'll get better for you as well.

Love you too, zee! 💕

You don't even know how much I needed js a little interaction with someone, thank you again.

[hiraya-rawr]

hello! i've been following u for quite some time now and i rlly love the way u write!! 🫶 i'm a fellow writer but i'm still comtemplating if i should open a writing blog bcos english is not my first language. sorry i feel like this suddenly turned into a rant/vent message 😣 anyway, the reason i wrote to u is to share smth that's been on my mind for a lil while now! have u watched kimi ni todoke? i recently finished the anime + manga and i rlly loved the whole series! i can't stop myself simping for sawako and it's kinda ironic since in these kinds of romance anime, u typically get hung up with the male lead but it was the opposite for me! kazehaya is sure charming but my little darling sawako is so adorable im willing to burn the world for her 😞 okay i got sidetracked again sorry for my simp ass jdkwkxiw

so i've been thinking of sawako!reader that works for the kamisato clan. long, black hair that usually hides her face — she's kinda feared amongst the workers inside the kamisato estate. always mistaken as a ghost or spirit that roams around the estate when in fact, she's just trying to finish her job. rumors about her seem to worsen everyday that even the loyal and trusted retainer of the head, thoma, thinks it's kind of ridiculous. of course, our ever charming blonde boy tries to interact more with the reader but he feels like he was hated. don't get her wrong tho, she admires thoma so much! who wouldn't? he's lively, respectful and always seemed to be the center of attention, even amongst the maidens that work for the kamisato. she strives to be a person just like him but the reader understands that she somehow scares the people she tries to talk with. worry not, she isn't discouraged by this! she simply has to try next time right? there's always a next time (tho she couldn't help but wonder, when is this next time? why does it take so long?). little did she know, her life's going to be changed when the gentleman himself took it upon his hands to properly talk and get to know her. little by little, her life changed and she even managed to befriend the lady of the house, lady ayaka! the ever kind and loving younger sibling of the kamisato household, ayaka made it her life mission to try and make the reader smile. no one had seen her smile genuinely, and frankly speaking, even thoma and ayaka felt the chills run down their spines when they tried to force her one time to give them a smile. it's safe to say that they never tried it again. ayaka did succeed and it took only a game of hotpot to see how much of a beautiful maiden the reader was, especially with that eyes filled with stars. and archons, the way her lips curl into a small and satisfied smile, thoma suddenly had the urge to keep this smile, only for him to see because gods this girl is so heavenly he was sure others would stop and stare. his eyes widen when he realized his train of thoughts, cheeks burning in embarassment as he berated himself because why would he even try to keep the reader for himself? he's so stupid (and whipped yes, don't tell him i said that), he thought as he silently squirmed in his seat. no one but ayaka noticed the whole ordeal, hiding her own smile behind her fan. oh the fun she would have watching these two, especially her retainer. the pining, the awkward yet satisying interactions, the stealing and fleeting glances—oh, she's so excited! (ayaka is me fr). she can't wait to spill all of these to her brother!

so yeah haha that's all for now, i think i got carried away with this brainrot im so sorry kwkxiwjd

— 🫶

I haven't watched kimi ni todoke! i actually haven't been able to watch anything lately other than bungo stray dogs and moriarty 😭 but this is a scrumptious brainrot, dw about the rant, thank you for sending this in!

[an-ambivalent]

Sorry I just want to vent 😞

I've been going on many dates lately and I just can't seem to find anyone I click with.... Or if I click with them, they just want "something casual."

I just want to be in a loving and serious relationship so I have someone to connect with and have fun and just do things with like try new foods or places etc... Apparently this seems like too much to ask for...

Ngl i feel like sobbing 😭😭 I already cried 2 today because uni and all the postgraduate applications are so stressful. Now this too :/

Honestly where's my yandere bf who can just be obsessed with me and just be like "just love me and I'll take care of you. Don't worry about anything, and just think about us" 😞😞

[daisyvisions]

DAISY, MY LOVELY

It's been a while since I've messaged (I am so sorry about that) but how have you been doing? I hope things haven't been too hectic in your daily life.

I've read your kinktober fics for this year and they're already so good (but we're not surprised about that)!! I don't know how the hell I'm gonna survive the rest of them.

I hope you've been taking things easy where you can and not putting too much pressure on yourself. And for the most part, I just hope you're happy, safe, and healthy.

Take care, lovely xx

-☕️

hey omg how are you babe! I hope you're doing okay too! 🥺💕 tbh I havent been really feeling good lately mainly because of the new work im in. (and warning mini vent ahead) I've been feeling all over the place emotionally with work because the adjustment was so drastic (which is normal I know) and at the same time idk, I guess I didnt expect the suddenness of it all that I got overwhelmed and it triggered something bad in me to react like "was this a regret to jump into too quickly?" and it hasnt even been a month! 😭

im trying my best to not let the negative emotions and certain circumstances out of my control get to me (ie working on the weekend 2 times in a row by chance but its uncommon for us to work on a weekend) and that constant pressure of not fucking it up I guess 😞

yeah and other layers of things happening around me also kinda affected my mood and wellbeing, I was in such a good place mentally before my job and now idk why it feels like ive regressed aksjndasjkn but again not trying to let these thoughts and feelings get to them because I know I can do better than this so pray for my soul huhu

[gesuka]

Tommorow or the day after tommrow might be my last days... I'm sorry but I can't stop thinking about it, I don't know man it's been so hard on me to learned all of this and I over thinks alot, you know what if like she's just chilling with someone else right now ... Has she even been thinking about me... I can't anymore man, I just wanna love her I kinda wanna forget about it but I can't, she's ignoring me and I can't take it anymore, she's the reason I probably would've been around anyways, so why not like continue what I wanted to do before meeting her you know... I don't know anymore man everything a mess and I just get an urge everytime when I stop doing anything stimulating to try to not mind it but I really can't sleep...it's been days...days and days waiting for her... Ugh. But she did lied to me, but, okay dude why am I even writing this anymore, should I do a suicide note or something, when my mom called me earlier, the feeling to kms stopped cuz what would she think... But now ughhhh I cabt help it all on my mind is her and it's killing me toooooooo 😞

I don't know if I'll kms but if I did, maybe like, I'll put my self on invisible on everything I guess, or just tell my friends but now that I think about it, would it impact any of them?? I'm usually the last guy outta the box to pick from you knowww, this ain't about tem...what about say.... She's such a sweetheart what if the thingy got to her??? Oh goshhh.. ugh fine.... Maybe I won't but maybe not... It's been getting to me lately, I dunno how to make this post private..m don't want anyone to see but would anyone really looked at my profile?? 😭... Idk writing these calms me sometime... Like I'm venting however I like... Ugh.. I'll try my best...not to think so much about Lindsay ... I miss her though...

[ziggysims]

I’m sorry you don’t need to read this post but I needed to vent about my life 🥴

I know I never post on here and nobody knows who I am but I feel like I just need to vent and get my thoughts out in the open and I don’t have anyone in my life to talk to about this. So here goes...

I’m in my final year of my degree and it’s getting to the point that after this year, I’m going to have to enter the work force in a field I’m not interest in anymore.

I found University was my crutch, as I could rely on having three years more years of schooling after high school before I became a ‘real adult’. I thought that by the time I graduated I would have evolved and would have been ready. However, I don’t think anyone was expecting a Pandemic to happen in 2020, which has seen my past two years of university basically be online and created this bubble were I did nothing with my life.

Which is we’re my issues lie. I’m not interested in my degree or the opportunity’s it will lead too, I’m at the stage were I am applying for work experience and nothing I see interests or motivate me. I feel like I’m just making things up whenever anyone asks or questions me about after I graduate. It also doesn’t help that anyone I talk to in my degree has somewhat of a plan on what they want to do after graduation where as i have no plan or direction in life.

I have five major issue at the moment

1. I’m pretty sure I’ve f*cked my courses up and have not been doing the correct subjects and I probably won’t graduate when I wanted too. So there’s that 🙃

2. I’m not interest in my degree anymore or the careers and opportunities it offers. I also feel like I’m the only one without a plan and given that I have not made any friends in uni except this year. I’m trying really hard to continue these relationships however I’m always having to put a mask on and be someone I’m not which includes not telling people certain things about myself. This is where the third problem comes from...

3. I have no work or life experience. I have been privileged to have the parents I do and I love them very much and they have continued to support me no questions asked but I feel like a failure 😞 I’m almost 22 years old and I have never had a proper job as I have been a family caregiver for my mum since 2017 BUT that’s is just an excuse I have been telling both myself and everybody else. I could of had a job if I had tried but I was unmotivated and now I feel likes it’s too late to get a part time job anywhere and no one will hire me. Another thing that has hindered me is the fact I don’t have a drivers license, I have a lot of anxiety around driving so I’m still incredibly dependent on my parents. However, I’m current working on that and doing driving lessons but I still have a long way to go and I feel extreme anxiety when thinking or applying to job as I keep getting rejected or I never hear back from the job application.

4. Moreover, I know this is not a common wish and people have been trying to break out of this lifestyle but honestly I just want to work a boring 9 -5 office job doing nothing but writing emails, attending meeting etc and nothing else. I feel like I’m not smart enough for anything and that I have faked it through my ability to do assignments but it always entails a lot of editing and rereading. Also I feel really dumb all the time as my spelling and math is atrocious and I feel so insure in myself and my abilities. The reason I want a basic 9 - 5 is just having the life style of waking up early in the morning, going to work, coming home, having dinner and relaxing the rest of the night doing hobbies such as reading, sims and watching tv shows and having weekends off consistently to spend time doing things that interest me and having holidays maybe once a year. That’s the structure I want in life and I feel like I can never admit to that because I would of wasted me degree on nothing.

5. Lastly, this issue has nothing to do with my degree or lack of work experience but about my own confidence or lack there for and has been playing on my mid for years now. In terms of my body… I HATE it. I’m fat there is no other word for it, I weigh around 116kg and even if I try and tell myself I look pretty or not that big in the mirror as soon as I see myself in a reflection in public or photos of my self I’m horrified with how big and disgusting I really am. Ever time I leave the house I feel nervous and anxious I I constantly have to make efforts to look better and dress better then people would just to do basic things like grocery shopping. I feel judged whenever I’m in public and find that I can never order to much food or buy to much food if I’m buy myself. I also cannot shop at any normal clothing stores and feel constantly uncomfortable and unsure whenever I have to buy clothes in person. I did lose 15 kilos last year but I lost the motivation and have put nearly all of it back on. I struggle so much with weight loss as to lose any weight with my metabolism, I have to eat very little and work out constantly to see any results. However, I can’t work out in a gym as I’m still to self conscious and as i don’t live by myself I can’t control what food is in the cupboard. I know these reasons just sound like excuses, which they probably are… but food to me is such a big part of my life. I eat when I’m bored and given that I don’t have much of a social or work life I’m constantly at home except for University so I’m always snaking. I also struggle with motivation and being consistent with working out which hinders may ability to lose weight. Now, why is this such an issue? because being over weight has stopped me from doing everything and not have confidence in my self has lead me to have many regrets in life. As soon my old friends and I became 15- 16 my life started to change drastically. I wasn’t invited to parties other than birthdays and didn’t have those fun teenage years except a few occasion which I always longed for. Furthermore, I’ve never kissed or had sex with a guy and have never really talked either online or in person much at all to any guys either, I also have never had a friendship with any males my age what so ever. I feel so left out of everything people my age are doing and I never go on social media anymore, as every time I open either Instagram, Facebook or Snapchat I just feel immensely sad and insecure. Every time I open social media all I see are people from my high school doing something with their life whether that be graduating university, travelling, hanging out with friends, being in long term relationships etc I’m struck in the same place doing the same things I was going when I was 16 years old and I feel like I haven’t experienced-life and I have let go of so many opportunities or stopped myself from putting myself out there and doing things I want to do because of my weight and insecurities. Because I have isolated myself from the world even before the pandemic I’ve lost a part of myself and my personality and I have become boring and have nothing interesting about me that would make anyone stay.

I’m just a fat, ugly, boring human being who is full of regret and has wasted their life being fat, not doing anything, doing a degree I’m not interested in anymore, having no social life and not have any life experience in general.

I’m just fucked and at a point in my life we’re I don’t know what I’m going to do…

So thats everything I know nobody is really going to care but I feel like I needed to get this off my chest as it had been playing in the back of my mind the past few months and years to be honest and going into my final year has just pushed me passed the breaking point and added more stress onto the fact that I’m unhappy with the way my life has turned out 😞

So thats me....

[cdmagic1408]

✨ Hey gang! ✨

Just gonna vent here for a second...

I'd most appreciate it if you took the time to read it ⬇️

I haven't been feeling my best today...

Some days (like yesterday) I feel super happy and good, like everything's going my way 😄🙌

Then other days (like today), I feel humiliated, and that what I'm doing isn't worth it... 😔🙈

I want to put myself out there, but I also don't want to be seen as desperate either.

And if I do seem desperate, I'm sorry...

All my life putting myself out there has never been easy for me. I guess it makes me feel scared. The first thing that comes into my head at the idea of it is getting laughed at and people pointing their fingers at me. And having them think that I'm weird and not interesting 😢

But lately, I've been feeling more bold in wanting to show who I am to people. And I've been wanting to do that with this fanfic I wrote.

Since late August/early September, I've been feeling a lot more confident in myself in what I can do and I've been feeling nothing but love from all of you and others! 🥰

But inevitably there are those people out there who try and make me lose my confidence. People who just don't get it and NEVER will get it. And people who say things and just want to get a reaction out of me. Those are the people that I feel like are calling me weird and are pointing fingers at me, even though they don't know the true person they are pointing them to 😞

It's days like that that put me in an utter state of melancholy...

But I don't want to give up. And I am here to tell you right now that I'm not going to give up! I'm going to keep moving forward with what I'm doing 😎

Because deep down I believe what I'm doing is right. I am standing up for what I believe is right. Because I believe in this film, I believe in Ian and Barley, and I believe in myself.

And at the end of the day, I don't care what those people say. They're jerks. And the world is full of jerks. And the world is full of people who don't care.

What truly matters is the people who DO care and the people who see me for who I am. And I want to thank those people for believing in me too 💗

I don't want to say that what I have spent the last year and a half writing is who I am entirely. But it is a part of who I am, and who I've grown to be. I've learned so much from making this happen that in some ways I feel like I'm going through my own character development 📈

It's been risky, but what was it that the Manticore always said...you have to take risks in life to have an adventure?

Well this has been an adventure! And an adventure that's made me feel like I am moving forward. So as long as that's the case, what do I really have to lose? 🙂

Wow...here I am referencing the Manticore and her greatness when she's finally about to make her appearance in IYTM! 😅

It's fate I tell ya! FATE!

So I guess this is the part where I say thanks for listening if you've managed to read this far and that Chapter 20 will be out this Friday!

PEACE! ✌️

[ultyso]

Sorry for the recent vent posts. Feeling pretty lost as of late. Not anyone’s fault. I’m like going through an existential crisis or something. Been feeling wonky for a few weeks 😞 I feel very isolated from everything and pretty helpless, so everything feels negative rn. Sorry too with the art stuff. I haven’t been feeling like art is much fun cause I’ve fallen back into the people pleasing trap and I hate it. Not what art should be about at all. I should have waited longer before getting back into things, I wasn’t ready but I thought I was. Was too soon for any of that.

[maerenee930]

random thoughts. - kinda venting/kinda rambling.

tw/cw: talking about depression, anxiety, dissociation, feeling lonely and just pretty low. and there is some swearing.

also, i completely realize i sound like a broken record and i am very sorry that i do! it is not my intention at all and i’m just genuinely so sorry for repeating myself again 😓

my depression is kicking my ass, my dudes. like real bad. i don’t get how can i feel great about myself (like who i am as a person and how i look. like i feel really fucking great about myself and haven’t been this happy with my body and who i am in a minute. and it’s a really good fucking feeling 🥺) and yet some how at the same time, feel like absolute fucking shit…? 😣😞

like just hopeless and super low. and it kind of embarrasses me to admit that. (i’m kind of feeling as low as i did for majority of 2020. and it like hurts my heart to think i’m kind of getting back to that. i don’t ever want to feel that bad or depressed ever again and idk what to do to help myself right now 😭 i’m kinda scared and just disappointed in myself, tbh 😣😞)

and i’ve been dissociating a fuck ton lately. like i feel like i’m in a constant state of dissociation. like everything around me feels so fucking off and i just feel like crying all the time. like because i’ve been feeling like this so much, it’s making my anxiety so bad! it’s so annoying!

and i want cuddles! i really really want cuddles and i just want someone to hold me while i cry. 😭 i don’t want to be alone when i feel like this. (and i just don’t want to be alone in general, tbh. 😓)

everything feels so weird… nothing feels real and i feel like i’m going crazy 😭

and i feel like sobbing but i just won’t let myself and it’s so frustrating.

i’m also somehow on my own last nerve. like i need a break from myself but how the fuck does one do that? 🤦‍♀️

i’ve been spending too much with myself lol. like i know people say that if you can’t handle being alone or being by yourself (or don’t like being by yourself or just with yourself) how do you expect other people to want to be around you? but too much alone time (which i feel i’ve been having) isn’t good for you either.

and that’s where i’m at right now. i’m at a point where having a lone time sounds nice in theory, but i need to be around other people. people who aren’t my family. or my cats lol.

even if it’s just facetiming someone. i’ve just been by myself or with the same 3 or 4 people regularly/pretty much every day and it’s doing more harm to me mentally and emotionally than i thought it would.

i’m just really tired of being alone and lonely.

i’ve tried going on taimi and seeing if i can make some friends on there with people who live near me and nothing is really coming from that… so ya know, that feels great lol 🙃

i suck at asking people if they wanna hang out cause i legit feel like i’m bothering everyone. even though the people i normally hang out with are my friends and they’ve reassured me that they not only like me but they love me, i still feel like they’re just saying it to be nice to me and they don’t fully know how to tell me that i am bothering them or they would rather i leave them alone.

(why is my brain like this…? 🤦‍♀️ ugh! it’s so annoying and makes me so annoyed with myself. i know that i have surrounded myself with people who genuinely enjoy my company and if they didn’t like me or love me, they wouldn’t hang out with me. they wouldn’t talk to me and they wouldn’t be friends with me. like they don’t waste their time and they’re the kind of people who are honest and you get that vibe from them that’s like, if they didn’t like you, you’d know it. like right away you would know it and you know they wouldn’t spend time with you if they didn’t like you. you know? so i don’t get why my brain wants to convince me that the people i love and care about and who are some of my best friends, can’t stand me, that i’m bothering them by messaging them and reaching out to them and they don’t want to hang out with me cause i annoy them. like fuck my brain 😑🤦‍♀️😓 uuuuuuuuugghh!! 😭)

also, (on a random side note-) i wanna move so bad!! but i’m not in a place financially (or i guess mentally) where that’s realistic so that really fucking sucks. but i wanna move to california so bad. i’ve wanted to since i was a kid. i mean i’ve wanted to live there or somewhere in england but again, can’t afford it.

and the thought of moving to either place has been on my mind so much lately. not because i think everything is going to suddenly be better and everything that’s been wrong with me mentally and emotionally will be magically fixed. i just am so ready for that independence and want to idk try and be on my own. i want to see if that would maybe help. like having to rely on myself and just having that space, would it help me mentally and emotionally? i feel like even though it would be super difficult and the thought about it is very anxiety inducing, i want it so bad! and i just wanna live in one of the places that i’ve wanted to since i was a kid and have been dreaming about for most of my life. i want it more than anyone knows.

i feel like there was more and different things i wanted to say but my head is all over the place right now and don’t have the focus or energy to try and figure it out right now 😣😓 maybe if i remember, i’ll either update this post or make another one.

but i’ll just leave all of this nonsense as it is.

i’m so so sorry again for sounding like a broken record 😣😭