#sorry for posting rpf on main. it will happen again

[theomencometh]

Anthony's Realization

Fandom: Smosh Pairing: Ian Hecox/Anthony Padilla, Anthony Padilla & Dan Howell, implied phan Rating: T Key Tags: Feelings Realization, Getting Together, Friends to Lovers Word Count: 5,275 Read on AO3

Summary:

When Anthony’s realization finally hits him, the first thing that he does is take three slow, deep breaths. The second thing that he does is figure out when his next therapy appointment is, decide it’s too far away, and pull out his phone to text an expert.

When Anthony’s realization finally hits him, the first thing that he does is take three slow, deep breaths.  He closes his eyes, inhales, and tells himself that it isn’t a big deal.  And it truly isn’t, not really.  The thing about this realization is that it's not a surprise.  He may not have been aware enough to name what was happening, but by the time he becomes conscious of his feelings, he’s been living with them for long enough that it’s a natural part of him, nothing to be done.  He doesn’t want to fight it, it’s silly to deny it, and there are definitely worse fates in the world.  Still, it’s a huge fucking realization to have, and he takes a second to re-center himself in the middle of the office so he doesn’t do something stupid, like have a panic attack or grab Ian by the lapels of his jacket or start laughing hysterically.

The second thing that he does when he finally has his realization is figure out when his next therapy appointment is, decide it’s too far away, and pull out his phone to text an expert.

There’s no way that he can talk about this with anyone he works with.  Not only are there sometimes complicated boundaries with him being one of the owners, but if this got leaked it would spread around Smosh like wildfire, and he’s absolutely not ready for that.  In that instance, might as well stay away from everyone in the general LA area, just in case it manages to get back to anyone on staff.  Actually, there are too many people who know Smosh members in the entire country, so it’s best to discard everyone in the United States–no, everyone in all of North America entirely.

The answer is obvious.  There’s one other person who is uniquely positioned to understand what he’s going through and who would be willing to talk him through it, and that person doesn’t live in the country and talks more to him than anyone else at Smosh.

Anthony: hey, any chance you’re free to chat soon? could use your advice. nothing bad

He only has to wait a few seconds, which is impressive, because he didn’t consider calculating the time difference before he texted.

Dan Howell (youtube): oh hell

you’re not dying right

30 minutes sound good?

Anthony: no death, 30 min is good. Ttyl

Anthony grabs his jacket and heads out the door, calling a very general goodbye to the office at large so no one thinks he has just been burdened with self-knowledge that he will be obsessing over for the foreseeable future.

Anthony makes it home with no memory of the drive.  He barely has time to kick off his shoes and settle on the couch before Dan’s call comes through.  It’s a video call, but Anthony is still met by a dark screen, only half of Dan’s face illuminated with white light.  He’s probably in his room in the dark even though he’s wide awake, which feels so quintessentially Dan that it eases Anthony a little.

“Hey, thanks for calling,” Anthony says.  Dan squints at him suspiciously from the tiny phone screen.

“Of course,” he replies.  “Not every day I get to talk to my good friend Anthony Padilla.”

Anthony rolls his eyes, because Dan has been busier than him lately and they do send each other memes and funny messages sometimes.  It’s not like they’ve had no contact in the past few months.

“What’s up?” Dan asks, steamrolling past any reply Anthony might come up with.  Anthony likes that about him.  It may be hard to lock Dan into a genuine conversation when he doesn’t want one, but once he’s there he has single-minded focus and doesn’t let Anthony beat around the bush or procrastinate.  Anthony would be almost offended that it seems like Dan wants to get it over with if it wasn’t for the fact that small talk right now would be excruciating.

“I’ve, uh, had a bit of a realization recently, and I don’t really want to talk to anyone in the office about it.”

Dan levels him with a flat look.

“Are you fucking in love with Ian?”

Anthony groans, leaning back against his couch and giving himself a moment to cover his face.

He didn’t expect Dan to clock him so easily.  Can everyone tell?  Was Anthony himself the last person to know?  Does he have a flashing neon sign saying IN LOVE WITH IAN HECOX hanging above his head?

“How the fuck did you know?” he asks incredulously.  Dan laughs at him, loud and bright.

“Because if it wasn’t about Ian, you’d be talking through whatever it is with him as part of your “healthy communication” pact, and my largest skill set is navigating how to be a gay youtuber in love with your best friend and business partner. Also, I’m probably the closest gay person you know who isn’t associated with your company.”

Anthony laughs.

“Is it really that obvious?” he asks.  Dan shrugs.

“I know what I’m about,” he replies.  “Now, is it the gayness that’s a crisis or the Ian-ness that’s a crisis?”

“Ian-ness,” he responds immediately.  “Wait, actually…”

Dan waits while Anthony takes a moment, because that’s not right, not really.

He isn’t worried about his sexuality.  He came to the conclusion a few years ago that he would keep himself open to other possibilities, and he’s always been able to appreciate other guys.  The fact that Ian has a dick isn’t a problem.  Sure, he hasn’t felt particularly motivated to give someone a blowjob before, but he’s not bothered by the idea at all.  He’d like to have the chance, frankly, even if he’s bad at it and needs to practice a bit, especially if Ian is the one he’s practicing with.  But the Ian of it all isn’t a crisis, either.

“It’s not–” he starts, then stops.  Dan hums encouragingly.  “It’s not a crisis, really?  It’s Ian, you know?  This is probably the best case scenario for my first time falling in love with a man.”

“Fair,” Dan says.  “So what do you need me for, then?”

Anthony snorts.

“If I didn’t talk this through with someone, I’d probably end up blurting it out in a meeting tomorrow in front of everyone.”

Dan hums.

“Yeah, wouldn’t be the most professional moment, even for you,” he says.  “I take it this means you’re down bad.”

“Oh yeah,” Anthony confirms.  “Hit me like a truck.  Nothing even prompted it!  I was wrapping up for the day and wondering if I should ask Ian to grab dinner like usual and the idea made me so happy I thought something was wrong.”

“That’s fucking gay, Anthony,” Dan says.

“I know!” he groans.  “That was the problem, because that’s how I feel about him all the time.  This is how I’ve felt for months, and I’m just now realizing.  What the fuck?  How does that happen?”

“You were too caught up in the euphoria of being around him again to tell it was a proper crush.  Like a frog in boiling water,” Dan says, nodding sagely.  Anthony mirrors him, grateful that he doesn’t need to elaborate further.  Reuniting with Ian felt like finding a part of himself that had been missing since before he left Smosh.  He had no way of knowing that the rush he felt every time they hung out or the elation when he managed to say something that made Ian laugh was a symptom of something bigger.  It felt like it used to, except better because they’d both grown as people and weren’t emotionally stunted children anymore.  He didn’t realize that love had anything to do with it, at least not romantic love.  Then, once they’d stabilized properly, they bought Smosh and he had more things to distract himself with.  He loved being around Ian, he loved being at Smosh, he loved the fact that he could have both when he had missed them for years.  He didn’t feel the need to examine things closer than that.

“What am I supposed to do?” Anthony asks.  Dan snorts.

“Don’t do what I did, which was stalk the other person to the point where we were friends and then make him do all the romantic heavy lifting,” he says.  “The way I see it, you can either repress it so hard it disappears and you’re miserable, or you tell him in a private moment that you both can escape if it goes badly.”

Anthony frowns.

“Will it go badly?”

Dan shrugs.

“You know Ian better than I do.  What do you think?”

Anthony makes himself stop and genuinely consider the question, rather than respond with knee-jerk fears or defensiveness.  There’s decades of history including their friendship completely unraveling to consider, and Anthony doesn’t think he’ll survive losing Ian a second time.  But Ian has never run away because Anthony wanted too much from him.  He might not respond the way that Anthony wants, and he might not give Anthony the same openness and vulnerability that Anthony would be giving him during a confession, but he can’t see this being the thing that pushes Ian away for good.  It might be awkward for a bit, but they’re both adults.  Anthony can figure out how to manage his feelings, and Ian historically has been great at ignoring elephants in rooms and pretending like things are fine.

“I think it’ll be okay,” he says slowly.  “If he doesn’t feel the same or is weirded out, I think we’ll be able to move past it.  He’ll probably make some bad jokes to deflect, but I don’t think he’ll hate me, or ask me to leave the company or anything.”

“You think he doesn’t feel the same?” Dan asks.  Anthony shrugs.

“Who knows, with Ian.  I know he loves me, but that’s different than being in love with me, and he was repressing the shit out of his emotions for a while there.  I don’t know.  It’s been–things have been really good with us, recently.  And I think he’s in the same place as me, with the sexuality thing.  But that doesn’t mean that he’s in the same place as me with his feelings, too.”

Dan hums.

Anthony tries to imagine Ian smiling at him in that new, soft way he sometimes does, saying something like “don’t be stupid, Anthony, of course I love you, too”.  His heart speeds up at just the thought, feeling like it’s about to skip out of his chest, and he slams that door shut immediately.  No use in getting his hopes up or catastrophizing, not before he knows the actual outcome.  Better not borrow the joy or anxiety of the future, right?

“When are you going to tell him?” Dan asks.

“What happened to maybe repressing it and being miserable?”  Anthony replies.

Even though he can barely see anything from Dan’s side of the screen, he can see the look that Dan gives him.  At least it makes him snort.

“As your friend, I can’t in good conscience actually recommend that route to you,” Dan says.  “Especially because you’d be shit at it and would tell him anyway, but it’d probably be at the worst possible moment.”

Anthony can’t argue with that.  He’s not great at keeping things inside.  If he tries to repress this, it’ll bubble up before exploding, like a soda that’s been shaken then cracked open, spilling his feelings all over the place.

“I should probably tell him soon, then,” Anthony says.  Dan nods.

“Better to get it over with.  Rip off the bandaid.”

“Opposite of what you did.”

“Fuck off,” Dan says, voice high with indignation.  “I’ve been in a happy relationship for over a decade.  You asked me for help.”

“I did,” Anthony concedes.  “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Dan says, smarmy and pompous in a way that makes Anthony laugh.

He directs the conversation away from his realization and toward normal topics, taking his time to catch up with Dan properly.  It’s good to talk to him, just like it always is.  As allergic as they are to phone calls, it’s nice to be able to chat in real time, rather than allowing text messages to get lost in a flurry of notifications.  More time has passed than Anthony realized when another notification pops up at the top of his screen.  He trails off mid-sentence when he sees who it’s from.

Ian: you ok? you left the office pret…

While he’s reading, another banner appears.

Ian: dinner?

“What’s up, what just happened?  Why are you ignoring me?” Dan asks.

“Sorry,” Anthony says, shaking his head to bring himself back to the moment.  “Ian just texted.  He wants to have dinner.”

“The thing that started it all,” Dan says ominously.  “Sounds like the perfect opportunity.”

Anthony feels a dash of panic surge through him before it fades, leaving the hint of a bitter aftertaste.

“Already?” he winces.

“Why, do you need to let things settle?” Dan asks.  “You seemed pretty secure with everything earlier.  Do you think your feelings are going to change?”

Anthony shakes his head immediately.

“I have never been more sure of my feelings,” he affirms.  “I’m in this for the long haul.”

Dan holds his hand up in a there you go gesture.

“Right,” Anthony says.  “Pulling off a bandaid.”

“Guess I’ll let you go get your man,” Dan sighs dramatically.  “Text me what happens.  Whether it’s a celebration or you want someone to listen to emo music and cry with you.”

“Thank you,” Anthony says earnestly.  Dan rolls his eyes.

“Whatever.  Welcome to the gay disaster club.  Have fun.”

“Thanks for having me,” Anthony laughs.  “Talk to you later.”

Dan says a quick goodbye and signs off with a wave, and Anthony navigates over to Ian’s messages before he can second-guess himself.

Ian Hecox: you ok? you left the office pretty quick today

dinner?

Anthony’s thumbs hover over the buttons, not wanting to lie to Ian, but also not wanting to confess his feelings over text.  If he says he wants to talk to Ian about something, Ian might think it’s worse than it is, and Anthony doesn’t want to turn this into a big deal for him if it doesn’t have to be, but if he ignores Ian’s initial question and just asks him to come over with takeout, he’ll still think something is wrong, and he’ll think that Anthony doesn’t want to talk about it with him and therefore it’s something terrible.

His phone buzzes with another notification.

Dan Howell (youtube): you better be replying to him and not PROCRASTINATING like a LOSER

Anthony sends him the middle finger emoji, but it’s the encouragement that he needs.

Anthony: had something on my mind i wanted to think through, nothing bad

wanna come over? bring thai pls

Ian’s reply comes in immediately.

Ian: be there in 20

Anthony locks his phone and sets it down, letting out a long breath.  He scrubs his hands over his face, then through his hair, blinking at the blank tv across from him while he tries to organize his thoughts.

He can’t sit here for 20 minutes spiraling until Ian gets here.  He wants to smoke to offset the nerves thrumming through him, but he doesn’t want to overdo it and lose his sense of urgency, then decide to put the confession off because of it.  He needs to tell Ian tonight.

“Like ripping off a bandaid,” he says aloud, slapping his thighs and standing.  He spots a candle and lights that, at least, then busies himself tidying up.  His home isn’t messy by any means, but rearranging things and breaking out the duster to run along his bookshelves gives him something to keep his hands busy while he repeats a mantra of affirmations in his mind, not allowing any room for the negative and anxious thoughts to permeate.

A sharp knock on his door breaks him out of his thoughts while he’s unloading the dishwasher, immediately followed by his door opening and Ian’s voice calling “Honey, I’m home!”

Anthony’s heart flutters.  If this continues, he’s going to need to see a cardiologist.

“In the kitchen!” he calls back.  “Want a drink?”

“Water for now,” Ian calls back, no doubt setting their take-out up on the coffee table in the living room.  “We’ll see about later.”

Anthony grabs two glasses for them and fills them from the filter in the fridge, adding ice for himself but none for Ian because he says it gets too cold for his teeth these days.  They’re getting older.  Anthony is grateful that he’s present to see it.

“I got you your usual,” Ian says, gesturing to the container while Anthony carefully sets the glass in front of him.  He changed since the office, dressing down in sweatpants and an older Smosh hoodie that they discontinued before Anthony left.  He looks tired and comfortable, like he belongs on Anthony’s couch shoveling rice into his mouth, and Anthony swallows around the lump in his throat.

Yeah, he needs to tell Ian tonight.  He can’t keep living like this.  Self-awareness is a gift, because you can’t change things if you don’t know there’s a problem, but Anthony wishes the problem wasn’t being in love with his best friend in a way that’s overwhelmingly impossible to ignore.

They don’t talk about anything important while they eat, just chatting casually about whatever crosses their minds, from a weird squirrel that Ian saw yesterday to an artist that Anthony found on Instagram and really likes.  It’s easy and comfortable, and Anthony finds himself relaxing with every little joke Ian says that makes him laugh.  Ian doesn’t try to be funny outside of work, but he naturally has Anthony in stitches more than anyone else he’s ever met.  Anthony has laughed more in the two years they’ve been reunited than he did in the entire six years they were apart.

Eventually, the laughter fades away, Ian setting his plastic fork down and leaning back against the cushions, wiggling a bit to get in the most comfortable position possible with a content sigh.  He’s such an old man that way, but Anthony is right there with him, knees cracking when he stretches out.

“So,” Ian says, lolling his head to the side so he can see Anthony fully. “What were you thinking so hard about earlier?”

Anthony sighs.  He crosses his arms, but he doesn’t like how that makes him feel like a kid waiting outside the principal’s office, so he rubs his hands against his jeans instead.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Ian offers.  “I didn’t mean to pry.”

“No, it’s fine,” Anthony says before Ian can get the wrong idea.  “It’s not–I wanted to tell you, anyway.”

“Okay,” Ian says slowly.  Anthony takes a deep breath, then another one.

“I’m bi,” he blurts.

Not quite what he wanted to say, but baby steps.

“Officially,” he adds.  “I know we’ve kind of talked about it before, but I wasn’t really sure, and now I am.  I’m bisexual.  I like dudes, too.”

“Nice,” Ian says with a grin, leaning forward to give him a high five.  Anthony obediently slaps their palms together, and Ian’s fingers curl around Anthony’s hand, shaking him.  “Let’s go!  Solidarity!”

Anthony laughs, letting Ian break the tension like he usually does.  Their hands fall back against the couch, still clasped together, and part of the laughter dies in Anthony’s throat.

“Thanks for telling me, dude,” Ian says.  “I am, too, since we’re sharing sexualities.”

Ian’s thumb swipes over the back of Anthony’s hand and goosebumps erupt across his arms, thankfully hidden by his sweater.

“Cool,” he manages to say.  Ian smiles at him, open and joyful, and Anthony doesn’t know what emotion is playing across his face, but it makes Ian soften.

“Are you going to get emo on me?” he asks, light and teasing.  Anthony chuckles, but it comes out a little wet.

“I didn’t think I would,” he says honestly, blinking up at the ceiling and letting out a shaky breath.  Ian squeezes his hand, just a quick pressure and release, and Anthony returns it.  When he’s centered himself enough to look back at Ian, his best friend is still smiling at him.  It’s a smile that has no pretenses or expectations, just gentle acceptance.  He’s so much more open than Anthony ever expected him to be, even since they reconciled.  They both had to relearn how to read each other in these heavy moments, and Anthony now knows when Ian puts his walls up and why, and when he can give Anthony more of the vulnerability that he always craves.  Now, though, he doesn’t feel like Ian is hiding, despite the jokes and teasing.  He’s just here with Anthony, ready to take whatever confession he gives.

“That’s not all of it,” Anthony says.  Ian shifts, tucking a foot under him so he can face Anthony fully.  He still hasn’t let go of his hand, but Anthony doesn’t want to watch him do so later, so he does it himself, twisting one of his rings around to distract his hands from the sudden emptiness.

“I, uh,” he starts.  Ian’s steady focus on him is distracting, and it’s making his throat close up again.  He clears it, an incongruous sound in the otherwise quiet space.

“I realized I have feelings for someone,” he finally brings himself to say. Ian’s expression doesn’t change, maintaining a careful neutrality that Anthony is all too familiar with.

“Is that a bad thing?” he asks eventually, when too much time has passed for Anthony to fill in the blanks.

“No,” Anthony says quickly.  “No, it’s not– I’m not upset about it.  It’s just… scary.  But I can handle it.”

Ian’s eyebrows twitch with an aborted frown.

Damn, he’s botching this.

“It’s– if I had to fall in love with anyone, it’s best that it’s him,” he tries to explain.  “He’s– this is the best case scenario.”

Ian does frown this time.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re gonna let me down easy.”

Ian stares at him.  Anthony replays those words in his head and heat floods his face, everything burning.  He blinks a few times, but time doesn’t rewind and let him take those words back to tell Ian in a better way.  He’s always been shit at improv; he should’ve scripted this in those 20 minutes while Ian was grabbing them dinner and instead he’s making a mess of things.

“What,” Ian asks, no inflection.  Anthony opens his mouth, can’t get any actual words out, and closes it again.

“Deep breath, Anthony,” Ian commands.  Even though the inflection is still strangely empty, Anthony forces in a breath, then another one.

“Sorry,” he says.  Ian shakes his head.

“It’s fine.  But you need to use words, because I don’t know what the fuck is happening right now.”

Anthony gestures helplessly.

“I love you?” he says.  “In a gay way?”

Ian nods slowly.  Anthony wants the ground to open up and swallow him.  Maybe he can go stay with Dan and Phil for a few weeks or forever, since Dan’s advice got him in this situation in the first place, except he knows that he’s being irrational and everything should be fine once it stops sucking so bad.

He should’ve done this at Ian’s house so he could run away, rather than having Ian come to him and having to kick him out.

“You think I’m going to let you down easy?” Ian asks.  Anthony laughs, a high pitched, hysteric noise that he immediately hates and never wants to make again.

“Are you really going to be mean to me about it?” he asks.  His pulse is racing.  He’s going to die.  He’s actually going to die from confessing his gay love for his best friend.  This is pathetic.  This is terrible.  He’s almost 40 years old and it feels like he’s 15 and getting rejected for the first time, except worse.  Dan owes him so many drinks.

“Anthony,” Ian says, reaching towards him.  Anthony isn’t fast enough to lean away, and Ian’s hands cup his jaw, curling around his neck and threading through his hair to keep him in place.

“Stop freaking out,” he says, thumb swiping across Anthony’s jaw.  “Don’t be stupid.”

Anthony can’t even begin to formulate a response, because Ian leans forward and kisses him.  His brain completely short circuits at the gentle contact, even though it only lasts for a second before Ian is leaning back, carefully eyeing him.

“Huh?” he says.  Ian cracks a smile.

“I love you, too, you idiot.”

All of the tension leaves Anthony in a rush that makes him dizzy.  It’s a good thing that Ian is still holding him, hands anchoring him in the present while Ian gives him that new smile, the one that makes Anthony feel like Ian doesn’t want to be anywhere else if Anthony isn’t with him.

“Huh?” he asks again.  Ian chuckles, but it isn’t malicious, and Anthony smiles with him.

“Dude, did you really not know?” Ian asks.  “Courtney staged an intervention for me weeks ago.  Apparently she and Shayne have been making little bets since you came back.”

“Since I came back?” Anthony asks.  “No way.”

“They were delusional,” Ian agrees.  “I was not in touch with my feelings enough at that point.  I was just happy to have my best friend back.”

“And now?” Anthony asks.  Ian grins.

“I’ve been waiting for you to catch up.  What happened to you being in tune with your mind and spirit, bro?  Why’d it take you so long to get here?”

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Anthony laughs, hands coming up to circle Ian’s wrists.  ���I’ve never fallen in love with my best friend before.  I thought it was just you.”

Ian snorts, ducking his head and finally letting his hands fall from Anthony’s face, tangling their fingers together instead.

“That’s so fucking cheesy,” he says, but he sounds pleased.  Anthony flushes.

“We’re basically a friends to lovers fanfiction, Ian.  This was always going to be cheesy.”

Ian rolls his eyes.  When he looks at Anthony again, it’s through his lashes with a fond smile, like he’s taking pages out of Seduction 101.  Anthony is actually embarrassed at how well it works on him, face heating and breath catching.  His eyes wander down to Ian’s lips, and he forces them back to his eyes in a panic before he remembers that he’s allowed to do that.  Ian made that clear.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks.  “I wasn’t ready when you did it.”

“I don’t know, can you?” Ian replies automatically, then grimaces.  Anthony gives him a look, even if Ian’s immediate regret is clear.  At least they’re on the same page there.

“Yes,” Ian corrects.  “Actually, if you don’t I’m going to be upset.”

That’s all the encouragement that Anthony needs to lean in.  He takes his time, letting their noses brush and settling his hands on Ian’s waist before Ian gets impatient and closes the gap.  It feels entirely different than their first kiss.  Anthony goes into it with intention, pressing as close as he can without Ian's glasses getting in the way, and Ian responds in kind, hands snaking over Anthony's shoulders.  The scratch of Ian's stubble against his mouth sends shivers down his spine, much more addictive than Anthony would've guessed, and he fists Ian's hoodie tighter in response, shifting to try to get even closer.  Ian breaks the kiss before Anthony is ready, but all he does is take off his glasses and dive right back in, matching Anthony step for step.

Being this close is causing Anthony's head to spin, each change in angle and point of contact simultaneously making every nerve in him stand at attention and glaze over.  He can smell Ian's aftershave under the leftover Thai food and burned down remnants of the candle permeating through the living room, and Ian's hands feel incredibly warm through his sweater, even more so when one of them slides up his neck to dig into his hair.  The gentle scratch of nails against his scalp pulls the start of a whine out of his throat unbidden, and Ian immediately deepens the kiss, coaxing Anthony to open his mouth with a brush of his tongue.

Anthony wants to keep kissing him all night.  He could stay kissing him for the rest of his life and be perfectly happy, whether he keels over in a few minutes or a few decades.  This is their first time kissing with intent, the first time where it actually means something, but there's something so familiar about it anyway, the easy way that they move together and around each other, the compatible pressure and comfortable motions.  He pulls at Ian again, wanting to get even closer, and Ian shifts without breaking contact, pushing Anthony back against the arm of the couch and following him down.  It puts their bodies flush together, and Anthony wraps his arms around Ian's back, pinning him there, a warm line along his front.

A vibration in his pocket startles him enough that he breaks the kiss, blinking up at Ian in surprise.  He's haloed by the overhead light, mouth red and cheeks flushed, and he has never looked more beautiful.

"What's wrong?" he asks.  Anthony blinks at him, processing.

The phone in his back pocket vibrates again, loud enough that Anthony can hear it now that he's not distracted.  He forces one of his hands to release Ian's sweatshirt, lifting his hips to access the pocket and inhaling sharply when the motion makes him brush against Ian.

"Anthony..." Ian says, voice thick.  Anthony's phone vibrates again in his hand, drawing Ian's attention to it.  He sits back on his heels, finally giving Anthony room to catch a full breath.

Dan Howell (youtube): how are things?  have you told him yet?

celebration or crying

maybe silence is a good sign??

“Who is it?” Ian asks, tugging on the bottom of his hoodie.

“Dan,” Anthony says.  Then, for clarification, “Howell.  I called him earlier.  He wants to know how the love confession went.”

Ian plucks the phone from his hand in the middle of typing his reply.

“Hey,” Anthony protests halfheartedly while Ian swipes to the camera app.  Any additional bitching dies in his throat when Ian presses his lips to the corner of Anthony’s mouth, taking a selfie at the exact moment.

It isn’t the best picture.  They’re off-center and Anthony’s face equal parts enamored and very clearly caught off-guard, but Anthony doesn’t protest while Ian attaches the picture to Anthony’s message thread with Dan and sends it.  He locks the phone and discards it off to the side, something that Anthony is very okay with once Ian turns his full attention back to him.

“I know we need to talk about this soon, but I kinda want to save that conversation for later tonight and go back to making out right now,” Ian states.

“I’m fine with that,” Anthony says, already reaching for him.  He kisses Ian’s grin off his face.

Somewhere on Anthony’s coffee table, nestled among empty takeout containers and a stack of napkins, Anthony’s phone buzzes again.  Neither of them hear it.  When Anthony finally checks his phone the next morning, he’ll have a litany of text messages, equal parts sincerely happy and playfully disgusted.  For now, he’s more than satisfied to kiss Ian silly, everything else fading away until the world consists of just the two of them.

[andcars]

# 𝗠𝗩𝟯𝟯 ─── GAMER MOMENTS MASTERLIST⠀REQUEST ME⠀TAGLIST⠀PATREON GUIDE⠀AO3

YOU'RE A MINECRAFT STREAMER and get in contact with some new guys. one of them won't stop bullying you. it's kinda silly how he acts like he's being subtle that he's trying to flirt with you.

TAGS. . . # fluff, bullying as flirting, pining max verstappen, 'oblivious' reader, minecraft streamers

FIC STYLE. . . # social media au (instagram chats, tweets)

zsync

ty FSMP for having me. that being said, hopefull i didn't give too much of a bad impression to some of ya'll....

liked by albonono, grussell and 7,742 others

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stellaroit i MISSED A ZSYNC STREAM?!?!?

orrifices RIP it was a funny stream

stellaroit what happened the vod isn't out yet

rudemi played minecraft in a new friend group and just decided to cause chaos towards this other streamer the entire time

angeleles who the hell is this lion33 dude and why did he have to hog all the wheat

divissx CHAT THE FURNACE IS NOT FURNACING!! highlight of the stream

lion33 mate i need u to leave the smp

albonono You're just jealous she got all the diamonds in the main island

lion33 completely unrelated

zsync (i'm not) sorry max

ynpng

chat i am not washed at minecraft

liked by alexalbono, georgerussell and 219 others

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georgerussell Disagree

ynpng like i ASKED

alexalbono Slay

alexalbono Btw why're u off priv do u know that

ynpng yessir

alexalbono Suspicious

alexalbono Are you joining the server soon. Max is annoying me

ynpng stop hogging my comments + maybe idk i'm still bitter abt him killing my cows

lion33

appreciate @ albonono for letting me on his stream. i do have his password now btw

liked by albonono, grussell, zsync and 13,611 others

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zsync WAS THAT WHY ALEX WAS JUST MUTED THE ENTIRE TIME?? IT WAS YOU??

lion33 lol

albonono @ zsync he was enjoying receiving flowers from you too much

lion33 your base? exploded.

shouula i love having a pov of max smiling like an idiot when yn was treating him like alex (aka kindly)

vrikrik real. yn is living the y/n life. what i would do to make him smile like that

albonono If u wanted to flirt do it on your own stream I literally went to piss

lion33 ???

massuech dude this is the weirdest softlaunch ever

zsync @ zsyncc · 28 October i'm never playing this game again

141 replies 881 reposts 1.8k likes

Max V @ lion33 · 28 October — Replying to @ zsyncc ur being dramatic lol my house was griefed i needed somewhere to stay 41 replies 331 likes

mia 🕸 @ webberstrr · 28 October — Replying to @ lion33 just say you wanted to put your beds together in minecraft and leave 2 replies 6 likes

EVE @ eeves1 · 28 October so we agree that max and yn were flirting the entire thing right

14 replies 7 reposts 63 likes

EVE @ eeves1 · 28 October — Replying to @ eeves1 i don't like rpf but it is kinda funny how max was goading yn on like a kindergarten with a crush 3 replies 7 likes

zsync

my beautiful house before it was INVADED BY THE DUTCH (also here's the mirmir bath pics ya'll begged for)

liked by albonono, grussell , lion33 and 7,742 others

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pineeapper KITTYYY

lion33 you could've just said no

zsync would u have taken no as an answer?

lion33 no haha this is what u get for stealing my diamonds

littelorrenst chaotic stream as always

piapastry no one else gonna question the weird domesticity of her and max? no? ok

albonono Why're you reposting the mirmir pics from your "priv" account

zsync because i can

lion33 what? u have a priv?

Yn | You are now private messaging @ ynpng 142 followers · 521 posts

lion33 this isn't private lmao

ynpng no i just took it off priv for a bit

lion33 oh. ok btw like do u wanna film something tgt soon

ynpng yea sure why not

lion33 cool cool yea friday?

ynpng sure

lion33 shared a location

ynpng huh

lion33 where we can meet. alex told me you live near me so

ynpng wait omfg i thought u meant like stream

lion33 oh it's ok if u want it to be just a stream like minecraft or smthn

ynpng no no its okay. i need new vid on my main yt anyways

lion33 u sure? lol it's ok if u dont wanna film irl w me

ynpng stop being such a hard ass maxy. i say yes to filming

lion33 cool. thanks btw i really like ur videos 👍

zsync

causing chaos in the toy store in my new video. thank you @ lion33 for featuring and being my slave for the day

liked by albonono, grussell, lion33 and 64,147 others

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wiiredxs never thought id get to see max doing an irl vlog willingly

hamiston who messed with the timeline why am i seeing max and yn tgt

vrikrik RIGHT like max flew a plane just to film this video 😭 they live in diff continents

lion33 sighs

albonono Your flirting technique sucks

lion33 shut the fuck up

orrifices am i delusional is this not the equivalent to teasing ur friend over his crush

grussell Yn, I hope you're seeing this

zsync seeing what

grussell Crikey...

Yn | You are now private messaging @ ynpng

georgerussell I don't wanna be the bearer of news... But Max has a crush on you

ynpng that's crazy dawg

georgerussell Okay I need some more reaction than that Me and the guys' GC have been talking about it ever since the first FSMP stream

ynpng whattttttt he's whatttttttt

georgerussell What in the Have you like known this the entire time

ynpng George. The man is a Monaco based streamer. I do not live in Monaco. He told me that Alex said we live near each other. I can kinda tell when people have a crush...

georgerussell And that's just your reaction!? I still expected something!

ynpng ill give u a reaction if he does something more obvious in the next stream

zsync @ zsyncc · 8 November fsmp birthday stream 2nite y'all. wish me bday luck i need netherite

568 replies 7k reposts 12.9k likes

EVE @ eeves1 · 8 November alright are we ever going to talk about how max (and im entirely sure it's max) put netherites in yn's chest like that was so cute...

27 replies 142 reposts 628 likes

♠ | FIO @ butt3fl1es · 8 November WHY DID I ENTER THE STREAM TO MAX MAXPLAINING ABOUT MONACO BOYS NOT BEING FUCKBOYS!?!?

WHAT IS HE YAPPING ABT

16 replies 7 reposts 88 likes

#33 @ quetoii · 8 November someone needs to tell max his cam is still on everyone can see him giggling after yn thanked him for his gift

23 replies 98 reposts 218 likes

dumb blonde moment @ jaccalps · 8 November — Replying to @ quetoii it's his fault anyways like no one streams minecraft w their cam on for maximum laziness

2 replies 6 likes

ynpng 🔒

@ lion33 thanks for the present! and you, I guess. but seriously, you need like better courting skills. my nephew could do way better than you and he's 3yo

liked by alexalbono, georgerussell and 327 others

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alexalbono I'm sorry, courting!?

ynpng if bullying me counts as courting yeah

georgerussell ... No one won the bet

lion33 this is why you don't start a bet

georgerussell Mate, no one expected you to try and get with her like two weeks when you first met

ynpng ok to clarify, we are not dating. he's funny and he's rich so im letting him try

layladook girl whyre you a red flag 😭

lion33 my fave color has always been red

🗒 𝗣𝗔𝗣𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗟 . . . ok so i decided to do like my tweets as the text so it was easier for me to make this + less images uploaded. feel free to tell me if it's better or bad from how i used to do it before. anyways this was funny to write. i love minecraft. i love that max loves minecraft. it's just a bunch of tomfoolery around here also, my birthday is actually on the 8th so lil easter egg lmao ˎˊ˗ ᝰ.

──── 📨 @delululeclerc @hiireadstuff @bicchaan @fallingforpvris @rtorresblog @tribbisweetdear @jamie2305 @mv1simp

you support me best on tumblr with reblogs and comments ! ── by andcars ⟡

[inchidentally]

replying to asks abt the Drama today so pls skip if you're fully over that salfgjlagf (and bl 'tricky asks' to not see me respond to stuff like this - but I always put under a cut as well!)

oh my god this is a whole epic jfc and I'm p sure I repeat myself a lot I'm sorry <3

and for anyone who sees the walls of text below and is like pls tl;dr it for me bitch: today is one of multiple examples proving that Lando and Oscar are exceptionally able to maintain perspective and genuine consideration of each other given their situations and their ages. and that while they, like all teammates, will have ups and downs that they are FAR from the kinds of teammates to ever let the bad times linger or fester. I'm not going to be participating in flipping out or overreacting to it when it does inevitably happen but that it hasn’t even happened today! so I just don’t see a point in projecting the rare examples of melodramatic teammates onto Lando and Oscar as teammates. esp today when they both could quite easily have sniped at each other a bit even indirectly and yet they didn't! Lando at the team? absolutely! but like for anyone feeling sad or upset in terms of the landoscar of it all, I'm genuinely baffled ?? bc I'm personally out here impressed yet again at how well they've handled this ?? so yea <3

just to say, if you're someone who truly loves the Epic Highs and Lows of Formula One then good on you and continue having fun! some people live for The Drama and obv I'm not addressing or criticizing that at all!

but since I'm out here being regularly openly insane about landoscar and I've gotten these asks and seen people feeling upset, I def feel like it’s fair that I bring reality and reason into my posts as well being stupid akfgsalfg

so I've grown up with F1 passively in the background of my life (as in on the main TV in my house) and I'm still mostly a fake, but I've picked up some things over the years and one of them is that the average set of teammates aren't the melodrama ones. most teammates who enjoy genuine competitive closeness on the track just tick each other off sometimes but mostly like each other and hang out a bit - overall the average dynamic ranges from mildly indifferent to good buddies. 

(brocedes and sebmark are outliers for a reason. and they did NOT just turn bad overnight. that toxic soup was brewing from the very start. but more about that later in this gigantic ass essay)

so once I realized last season that Lando and Oscar genuinely like each other and weren't gonna pop off over everything, my assumption has always been that they would have their tiffs and snipe to the press or avoid each other for periods but then get over it and go back to liking each other again - rinse and repeat! from a driver’s pov it's way more enjoyable and preferable to NOT be fighting w the guy you spend so much time and share a car with.

but !! that didn't happen and hasn't happened! with Lando and Oscar it very quickly went beyond just passively okay w each other - they've made active choices to show respect and fairness and consideration that for me has truly been exceptional.

and while I'm insane about them for narratives and rpf, the not insane part is how these two fit together so beautifully? like, Lando knows and says how his feelings and his brain can just take over sometimes and he struggles - that includes his feelings of anger and resentment. Oscar's primary trait is being calm and being able to be circumspect even under stress. Lando's actually said that he's learned from Oscar remaining calm. then you've got Oscar's 'hearteyes' and genuine admiration of Lando that shows up not in loud PR ways* but in quiet respect and standing back for Lando to shine and giving Lando his full dues. over time, Lando's come to 'hearteyes' right back bc of the respect and ngl genuine affection he feels for Oscar's fairness and respectfulness and his persistence in showing up and being happy for Lando no matter what. like, none of that requires embellishment and it's said by pretty much everyone including each other!

so to me, that means that when they do inevitably have 'moments' at the front of the pack together in future they'll ofc be grumpy w each other or resentful but it'll all be okay once they've cooled off. 

but !! that was not today !! my entire day of reblogging is just a nonstop bam bam bam of them looking out for each other in the face of this drama and taking care to not feed the media who have been dying for them to hate each other since day one. Oscar apologizing and if anything being less celebratory today than he was in Monaco for his second place. keeping the post race short and simple** and not going over the top celebrating after the team photo. Lando repeating in his post races that Oscar deserved the win and that he didn't want the issues with team orders to overshadow that and literally reaching out to Oscar to say 'we're okay' right out of the car <3

so yea in the years they are teammates they will definitely have their off days and probably that'll happen at certain points this season - but genuinely ! it should not be taken for granted how mature and considerate and kind they've remained w each other since basically Austria last year ! that counts for a hell of a lot in terms of not assuming they're "over" every time team strategy screws one or both of them, or that they will become different people and suddenly cultivate melodrama.

and sure, anything can happen etc etc but I don’t see a point in just aimlessly waiting for the absolute worst to happen unless you actively want them to hate each other which seems like a huge waste of time but to each their own ldgfjlagfljsfg

guys… things like "why didn't he spray Oscar with champagne first" and "they had a moment where they weren't smiling" or "the cool down room was awkward" "Oscar didn't thank Lando like Lando did in Miami" “Oscar hasn’t liked such and such on instagram” is not only pointless self-torturing it's also all pretty easy to debunk by someone like me who follows a lot of teams and drivers and sees a ton of different sides to these things every weekend:

- as for the comment likes, Oscar hasn't liked everyone's comments that he should have - I did a quick pass and the standouts are he still hasn’t liked the comment from opeightyone (his own brand company!), still hadn't liked the Australian GP comment last time I checked, or Kym Ilman, literally a fellow Aussie who he talks to at every single race and who left a heartfelt comment. we need to give this poor guy a break and not ignore how much he was laughing and smiling with Lando just bc he’s struggling with the alerts on his phone !! (and as always, we have absolutely no way of knowing anymore when we can say how much the driver is doing vs what their sm team is doing. I saw in a story the other day that Lily had stopped doing her usual emoji replies to his posts for a while (she started up again after quali this weekend) and clearly there's been no issues between them so it's safe to say Oscar's sm officially isn't the true measure of his current relationships!)

- Lando and Oscar were already joking and smiling together before the champagne! so why would Lando then get mad and show it by not spraying him first? (EDIT: as an anon pointed out, when Lando runs over to the McLaren team member Oscar is laughing and follows him! so the plan was to drown the poor guy all along lol.) Lando and Lewis have a special bond from long before Oscar and Lewis and McLaren have had a bond even longer. if I hadn't seen ppl be upset about this I wouldn't have thought twice about Lando running to Lewis after having spend the first half the podium chatting to Oscar!

and just a quick side note, Lando had NO problem showing how mad he was before Oscar came into the cool down room when he threw down that hat and got huffy with Lewis when all Lewis did was say how fast the McLaren is! but every time Lando interacted with Oscar, he made sure to keep it together and be happy for him bc as he strenuously made clear in his interviews, his upset was at the team's directions but he didn't want it overshadowing Oscar's well-earned win. so if anything, view Lando rushing over to Lewis as an apology for somewhat biting his head off over a compliment lfgjflgsalf

- the drivers are exhausted and their default mode after a race is to be not smiling, like not even Lando smiled the entire time following his win. add to today that Lando hasn't been happy with second place for a long time and Oscar isn't an effusive guy and it's weird to think they'd be laughing and smiling nonstop.

- cool down rooms are literally always awkward ?? the drivers hate that there are cameras and conversation is always stilted. it’s where they go to … y'know, cool down, not get hyped lol

- Lando thanked Oscar in Miami bc Oscar showed what the car could do w his overtakes, guys. it was VERY sweet but it wasn't like 'thank you for my life Oscar' or even 'thank you for my win'. but even apart from that, Lando has fully taken on the rightful 'I'm the more established F1 star and the face of McLaren and it's my job to let the new guy know when he's done well' even back before he and Oscar had much of a relationship. but… and I’m about to spin off on this topic now… Lando does very well with this sometimes yes, but remember that the majority of his own feeds are also solely focused on himself like Oscar's and like most driver's are! and that he and Oscar both forget to like McLaren's content most of the time!

but also like……….

please let us please remember Oscar has the same rights to putting himself first as every other driver !! he may be remarkably mature and respectful to Lando and McLaren and exceptionally able to get over being set aside or even screwed over, but he's not a worm!

as far as questioning if him not 'thanking' Lando somehow negates his literally non-stop hearteyes-so-blatant-that-casuals-comment-on-it that he has for Lando every single week... guys.. Lily. like I'm positive he'll make a special post or story with her soon but he only said a quick "hi" to Lily after Ted brought her up and then did a generic thank you to everyone LIKE ?? the guy isn't even effusive about his beloved long time gf !! his love language is not in words* !!

but I also feel the need to bring smth up here bc there is a definite lean happening in some quarters of fandom into fully expecting and taking for granted Oscar's patience and maturity and ability to be happy for Lando no matter how much he's hurting or upset for himself. and I've got to raise everyone who says that the fact that Oscar is allowed to be like every other driver including Lando! he is allowed to feel frustrated or not be a perfect saint! in the earlier part of last year, Lando openly said he was uncomfortable being 'the older guy' and he frequently left Oscar in the lurch not knowing where to go or ignored Oscar to talk to or about his previous teammates. when Oscar hadn't been told the correct time for that major meeting shown in DTS, Lando was not hiding feeling fairly smug after Oscar said "is Lando already here?" and in Australia this year, Lando fully forgot to have anything to do with Oscar in what was literally Oscar’s home town and home country race to the point ! that in the podium drivers conference when a reporter brought up if Oscar was bummed about missing out on a podium, Lando stiffly said that he guessed anyone would want a podium on their home race - but he was far from sympathetic!

now before anyone thinks this is me having a go at Lando, I am not. I'm literally reminding the people who are reading too much into Oscar not saying thank you specifically to Lando in what was a much shorter and less exuberant overall race win celebration and post race video than Lando’s win was: it is not a big deal !! it is not some huge thing that Lando would even notice and that Lando has frequently chosen to not include or show gratitude to Oscar at times when we expected him to and !! it's fine because it really is fine !! 

but when Oscar is seen to not cover every single base of gratitude and inclusion for Lando, for some fans it's A Problem or A Worry. and for some people, a broader thank you to the team and not specifically to Lando** is reason why Lando should despise Oscar forever and even consider leaving McLaren like the comments sections are insaaaane bro

these are two Normal Guys who are each living their Own Careers and while it's wonderful to enjoy the things that bond them and are special about them, they are still going to be Normal! and they will not view these tiny insignificant moments where they didn’t fully acknowledge the other with any magnitude at all! they are not expecting a level of devotion to each other that certain fans are! Oscar didn’t notice or care that Lando didn’t make anything special out of his home race and their pre-race fan stage was funny and sweet! Lando didn’t notice or even assume that Oscar should thank him specifically for team orders when Lando himself didn’t thank Oscar for team orders!

like I just cannot emphasize enough the importance of separating fun rpf narratives from reality. Lando tried to mess up Carlos’ parking job before the race as a joke to get back at him over the sign the day before - and then Carlos very firmly said that Lando absolutely should have given Oscar his place back and he even commented on one of Oscar’s posts despite not following him. this does not mean Carlos and Lando are beefing or that Carlos is being mean by going out of his way for Oscar! will I run with that single comment for carcar fodder absolutely - but that is fiction! nobody's mad at anybody!

and then there's the things that don't exist in Formula 1: "Oscar shouldn't have accepted the orders" "McLaren are out to get Lando" "Lando already gets too much hate"

- Oscar apologized for his pace and complications and he gave a very subdued little speech over the radio which was very big of him (and very wrong of McLaren to put him in that position) but if someone thinks any driver including Lando would even slightly imply "nah give the win to my teammate not me" then they’re categorically living on another plane of stan-ism that I can't comprehend. Lando literally said multiple times after this race how he has been the one to benefit from strategy working in his favor - both by McLaren and other teams. he's many many times made a cheeky face or made a joke when he's gotten away with something that fans of a rival driver or team were rightfully furious about. and if a person thinks it was mean when some ppl criticized the role that serendipity played in Miami then maybe that same person shouldn't start biting chunks out of Oscar about the same thing idk !!

Lando repeatedly said how much Oscar has done for him and if his Oscar-hating stans choose to think he's wrong or lying then idk !! he's being mature and fair so like, live n learn from your idol !

and can I just echo everyone saying 'please stop comparing this to brocedes or sebmark' or honestly even charlos? I'm doing bullet lists apparently so I'll do another one lafgljsafgsa

- brocedes is entirely due to their complicated and abnormally intimate lifelong history together leading up to F1. they were already Not Normal Friends and that made for the tinderbox that was their F1 careers together. literally they were destined to have to rupture that level of intimacy if they weren't going to just like get married to each other. they always needed to turn that relationship into something milder and less intense and it would always have exploded no matter what adult lives they had. F1 just made the explosion more violent and public. there’s truly no comparing them with anyone else.

- Oscar bears no resemblance to Mark and Lando bears no resemblance to Seb. Seb as he was in his heyday was... not shy or bashful about being a madman. sebmark never once looked like landoscar and it wasn't this huge revelation that that relationship would end up where it did !!

- Charles and Carlos have a negligible career/experience gap compared to Lando and Oscar and their temperaments are as much primed for friction as Lando and Oscar's are complimentary to each other. not to like 'they're so continental!' charlos but like, their already passionate natures got thrown into a rolling boil of Italian heritage racing and it's why the whole love/hate being sides of the same coin thing always happens with them. their families are even houses alike in dignity etc etc. it's Pure Drama and Intensity and always has been, both good and bad. they’re as terrible at using PR to smooth things over as landoscar are at not even bothering with PR. when Charles and Carlos are good together they’re passionately all over each other and when they’re mad at each other it’s messy and all over the press like a warring celebrity couple. Lando and Oscar are still delicately pawing at their relationship to know what it is and they still shyly touch as if seeking permission. Lando and Oscar are so not PR friendly that even Netflix gave up on them as a narrative entirely. Charles and Carlos are Shakespeare. Lando and Oscar are Jane Austen. Ferrari is the Capulet/Montague pride before the fall. McLaren is Mrs. Bennett trying to social climb using her daughters as bait.

as someone who follows blogs for multiple diff teams and drivers, trust me I see a lot of "my opinion of him is gone forever after this!!!" about something their own fave driver did even just a few races ago and absolutely will do again. same with "the team is destroying him and favoring his teammate!" like I straight up will see that said by each teammate's fanbase of the same team about the same race. this happens at different times throughout the season in every single team I follow - it even happened w Williams of all teams (tho so far that's just the once).

I'm a fake so obv I'm not going to weigh in myself but my cousins and their friends who watch F1 on the app at my house - and who aren't represented ethnically by any driver or team so they don't have bias - always have a much more calm and nuanced take. they assume every driver is out for themselves and by that very fact alone, teams have to take sides when the gap closes. and !! that millionaires doing an elite sport aren't experiencing mental distress over this sport the way common people experience distress over real life !! they go and bury their "woes" in extravagant luxury and an entire army of hugely biased family, supporters and fanbases all of whom think said driver deserves everything.

and that it takes truly heinous betrayal or outright evil to make these guys hate each other with any serious level of depth bc they all know they're The Selfish Asshole just as easily as the other guy. 

so I personally trust their takes on things and it's probably why I've always assumed Lando and Oscar would be Normal and have their little tiffs like everyone else does. bc it's rule one of making it to this level of the sport that you have to think selfishly. straight up I'm astounded at how quickly they've both been able to shake that 'visors down' mentality that Andrea referenced in the post race video and see the bigger picture and not be The Asshole to each other. 

and overall I don’t mind my dash being a warzone of wild accusations immediately after a race bc everyone usually calms down.

but there are certain things I just do not want on my dash and it's actually not related to what driver a person hates or not....

because while it's silly to see any of these privileged little princes as A Victim and Would Never Do That To Their Teammate (which would honestly get you laughed at by said driver) it's pretty common biased fan behavior. even tho Lando literally kept reminding people that Oscar's swallowed his own pride over things for Lando's benefit many times and that he (Lando) has been on the receiving end of podiums that came from strategies working in his favor (McLaren’s and that of other teams).

and like the idea that Oscar is now some heinous human being bc he's behaving like every other driver including Lando by Lando's own admission is hysterical. the idea that F1 teams are ever in any way benevolent kindly forces or that F1 drivers have anything akin to 'selflessness' over race wins is hysterical.

but where I draw a line is stanning for men in this sport so hard to the point of insane amounts of agonized doomposting and biased venomous rage. sorry but most of us don't want our precious time wasted agonizing over which self-confessed selfish millionaire in a sport founded on and maintained by pure elitism is feeling So Bad and So Sad! that he runs off to be comforted by a beautiful woman/women and adoring family and coddling hangers-on and legions of worshiping, wholly biased fans and millions of dollars on gigantic yachts because the absurdly unnecessary sport he gets to do isn't "looking after him well enough" or "prioritizing his happiness" !!!!?????? 

like fuck I'm a callous bitch ig but I'm not feeling an ounce of genuine upset whenever one of these men experiences a level of "my sport makes me sad". "oh but it's all they've known !! it's all relative !! money and privilege don’t equal happiness and privileged men suffer too !!" oh stfu no it doesn't and no they're not like stockholm syndrom victims and if they're so unhappy then they can put on their big boy boots and take their money and go fucking do something else holy SHITTTTT 

am I not here for allowing any portion of my human empathy to go to a fuuucCKING F1 driver jeeeeeeesusss. all of these men fully have the potential to get metoo’d or exposed about smth bc they're all capable of doing awful things by the time they're in F2 -male pro athletes are NOT objectively safe spaces to hang human morality or to assign automatic grace and good intent - let alone bleed pain or feel sadness for their race results or issues with their teams.

there is no acceptable moral relativity for me and these men and this sport are only of interest to me as a hyperfixation that gives me enjoyment in the form of narratives and a very specific, surface degree of enjoyment.

it’s fine if Lando or Oscar feel their feelings of frustration or anger etc but no way in hell am I going to feel remotely sad for them ??? they’re fine ?? there are genuinely sad things in my life and in the world and millionaires wanting trophies and points isn’t among them !! I’m not entwining my day-to-day happiness in any way with what they get up to and I’ll take what I can enjoy from them and ignore everything else.

and to wrap up this epic which I’m only indulging in bc I do feel like my blog sometimes seems like I’m pushing my own silly narratives on others and genuinely I’m not intending to - most of the reason I actually got drawn to landoscar and wanted to engage in fandom about them is precisely because their real life non-rpf dynamic is so unusually mature and considerate and not toxic or like, at all even overtly masculine. yea I originally got drawn into f1blr for the usual bromance rpf types like carland0 and dand0 etc but I didn’t rly care enough to engage in any way. 

but I think this is why I know that the ppl wanting Lando and Oscar to become this insane toxic mess are going to keep raging with disappointment - kind of like how I knew Lando and Max would be perfect again after just a few days while so many ppl hoped it was the start of some battle royale to last years that would end their close friendship. and why I knew Logan and Alex would end up with a genuine, heartfelt friendship when so many ppl assumed Alex would see Logan as one foot out the door and just wait to bond with a more worthy teammate. now we’ve got Alex saying how he and Lily casually talk about Logan for no reason at all and their friendship surviving Alex being given Logan’s car <3

I genuinely don’t bullshit myself into enjoying dynamics unless they feel real - so whatever friction I ever sense between Lando and Oscar as a result of them pushing each other to be the best they can be and helping to bring McLaren from the back of the field to WCC contender, isn’t at odds with them being gentle and unusually private and earnestly aware of each other. bromances were always Lando’s PR insurance with his other two teammates - a nice bandaid to cover moments where cracks showed or Lando didn’t hide his emotions enough. it’s something a lot of teammates use for the same purpose. but Lando and Oscar deciding to forgo that and have their little privacy door to shut out everyone else but each other from their drivers rooms, and how they will be doing interviews and then get distracted talking to each other over things that only interest them, and traveling and hanging out together without giving McLaren PR any material to use… like that’s a lovely, tender little unpretentious narrative to enjoy. watching them tiptoe so cautiously around an almighty cockup on McLaren’s pitwall side and Lando trying to pull himself up out of murky defeat for Oscar and Oscar deciding to celebrate so modestly because what a mess that ending was for them both. 

like I just don’t see a need for trying to invent ways to be unhappy or miserable or fabricate a doomed anything when they’re both still so sweet <3 <3 (and honestly it’s the same old tune of McLaren’s strategy needing a swift smack around the head)

tysm babe and I hope this one helped as well <3<3

[puckpocketed]

Please don’t repost/share my stuff (transcripts, GIFs, art, shitposts etc.) on public forums outside of tumblr. There are orgs, media, players, and their friends and family on other platforms, and algorithms will show them my posts no matter how much you think it’s just you and your circle of mutuals. If I wanted my posts on those platforms I would post there. I am just a member of the public, I did not consent to the virality machine. Peace and love on planet earht <3

Please see my navigation post for details on my tags.

I make gifs, share media, chatter about my teams and prospects, go down research holes about hockey and hockey players, archive and transcribe things I think are cool, and longpost about hockey + paint on occasion. Sometimes all of them at once!

Favourite projects I’ve worked on lately: Modern Defensemen part 1 / part 2 / part 3 | Ivan Fomin: Cocaine Rabbit | Flerovium | GOOSH monster card

More on this blog + my team tierlist under the cut!

Interact + follow from my main blog @.sailorvee. I am an adult. If you are a minor please be aware there’s nsfw on my main.

idgaf about team rivalries, I have no enemies in hockey except the Toronto Situation Room

this is a non-rpf blog but I believe in their beliefs <3 follow your bliss and have fun

If you are blocked it’s likely not personal, tumblr just doesn’t have a mute feature yet !

Trying my best to write alt text/IDs for any media on here + add an archive link when I can. If I make a mistake, shoot me a message!

Send me your propaganda!! DMs and asks are open, if you ask me about anything that could be construed as needing a long answer it may take anywhere between 2 hours -> 5 days -> 9 months. I am so sorry, it will happen again.

Where I hang out:

sharks lb -> beloved sand pit

lak lb -> kings fan space restoration project

caps lb -> i accidentally fell in love with them following the PLD trade

cuda lb -> slightly less failwife than the sharks

sceptres lb -> sometimes they play during hours I can watch and it's the best thing ever. no general pwhl lb, no peace, no love, i do hope every other team loses!! <3

wntd lb -> weekly free WHL game

ddjjs lb and fnf lb -> QMJHL and OHL versions, respectively

pios lb / reign lb -> the DU Pioneers + LA Kings AHL team, where I go to yell about my beloved prospects who aren't getting enough ice time

NHL tierlists OUT, putting whatever the fuck i want on these things IN <- these stop being in any order after the first 4 rows. also i just did all the colours in a rainbow wheeee!!!!!!!!

sorry no ID at the moment, its very late! I will come back to this <3

[player1064]

i’d be interested to hear about your planning process for your neville fic… how did you think about what would be included in each chapter? do you have a general timeline youre working on that you fragmentes and rearranged? i really love the fic and would like to know more about how you’re going about it!!

oooooooh good question.... short answer I DID have a plan but I'm in too deep now and we're mostly going on vibes

okay I started writing out the long answer and it's getting VERY long (sorry guys for being passionate about my silly rpf fic writing process) so I'm putting it under the cut

I was actually working on this fic for AGES before I started posting it, it started out I'd just write sections as I thought of them but then I got Very Deep into timelines and stuff so it's like

I've got a list that's got basic details of Gary & Becks' actual careers going by year so that's got like:

debuts for club/england

retirements for club/england

trophies won by manchester united between 1993-2013

personal awards/honours won

when Becks moved to different clubs

post-football career stuff like start/finish of coaching jobs, tv stuff, salford, miami, etc

Personal life stuff - breakups, meeting real life partners, weddings etc

Salford stuff e.g. promotions and trophies from 2014-present

(here's a screenshot actually kdghdfkjfsda... turns out I Love talking about this)

THEN as an aside to that list I've got notes of the key things that have to change for the AU to work - and specific dates of scenes that I could potentially write (still basic stuff e.g. for the chapter that's just gone up I had '2000 - bad season', '2023 - fight about documentary', '2021 - collapses at the euros', '2020 - weird pandemic conversation with carra')

I also have a page filled with random dialogue I've written without the full like Written Out Section bc I'm someone who thinks in conversations so I like having somewhere to dump all the conversations I'm imagining happening at various points in the fic... they don't all make it in for example here's part of the original valencia conversation gary & becks were going to have:

Then I've got a list that goes year by year which is less focused on Events and more on like their emotional journeys and what their relationship situation is at any given point.... trying to see if there's anything on that list that wouldn't give spoilers i THINK this one has mostly all been covered at this point:

yes there is still more to come. SORRY this is so insanely detailed but this fic has consuming my every waking thought for months. so.

so before I started posting it, like I said I was just writing sections as they came to me. I keep them in onenote rather than word bc then they're separate pages which is easier to navigate quickly and find what I want as I'm going.

I actually wasn't sure if I was gonna do the mixed up timeline or go straight chronological order but I think going chronilogically would be difficult bc there are some parts of their lives that get a lot more weight and attention than others and some that get skipped over just bc they're not super relevant to the story. so instead they're organised kind of by theme.

SO how I decide what's going in each chapter is like I had a vague outline of what I want the sort of Journey through the fic to look like, which is basically (again no spoilers so JUST for what's posted so far):

(ALSO actually reading through my notes on this I've gone slightly off course lately bc these things sort of get away from me. so this is a good reminder to myself that I did at one point have a plan that I was quite happy with and I should try keep it in mind)

1: establish the main things that have changed in this universe (not being sold to madrid and getting together when they're very young)

2: this bit is harder to explain but it's like. part of it is sort of highlighting different points where their paths diverged from real life and part is just like they're happy and in love but the outside world keeps creeping in - Becks getting more and more famous, Gary feeling like he can't keep up, the difficultes of being a gay footballer.

3: Jamie's coming in and starting to mess things up

4: issues they're having with their careers sort of seeping into their relationship and making everything a lot harder than it needs to be.

again I've not read through these notes recently and now I'm thinking I probably should have - I've just been going with the vibes which sometimes u need to do it's not a bad thing BUT anyway I just saw this note I made and I really really like it I think it's a good summary of the fic as a whole kfdhjgkdfs

GUESS WHAT I'm still not done. Yes this is insanely intricately planned out yes like I said the last couple of chapters I've mostly just been going by vibes rather than the actual plan I actually had. For example turns out I had never intended to write that second jamie interlude. oops!

SO like I said I keep all the sections as individual pages in a section of a onenote notebook and those I keep in chronological order for easy navigating. Then I use notion's board view and I've got the date of each section as a card that I can easily drag and drop between columns representing chapters so that I can organise how I want them to flow and I can reorder things until I'm happy with them:

and then after obsessively researching every single section for historical accuracy I just kind of. throw it all together and post it and hope for the best........

THANK U FOR THIS ASK btw!!!!!!!!! it was really really fun trying to explain all of this and I'm sure it looks like a complete mess (this isn't even including all my random scribbles in notebooks omg) but yeah. I really really love writing this fic I love this universe I love imagining them happy and in love I wish I didn't have to give them so many problems but as I'm always saying I LOVE pain and suffering!!!!

[oracleze]

intro post !?

haiiii ^_^ my names amadeus, i use he/she prns and im just a little guy, one may argue ^_^

byf be aware i am very very new around here i don’t know how anything works on this website ! all of my interests r bad and cringe and i shut up zero percent of the time and it IS terminal. i’m also not very active on here and i’m more active on my instagram!

my main interests, from most fav to least rn:

-hazbin hotel/helluva boss bcz i collect problematic interests like my life depends on it. i don’t like vivziepop i just like the guys in the stories. Warning Warning i’m a huge valentino fan i know he’s horrible i still lauve him. he’s not real guys read my dni i hate real rapists

-hermitcraft/life series… i’m a mumbscarian main with a dash of ethubs because i’ve been a mindcrack enjoyer since DAY FUCKING ONE BABY

-dsmp but i only relive it via fanfic so if u have any good recs lmk. i’m a tommyinnit main sorry. i also still watch tommy/tubbo/ranboo and sometimes jack manifold. I also love jschlatt

-yhs fan but actively hunting down samgladiator with knives tbh. also a yhs reboot fan but again ^^

-i’m also specifically just a fan of bunnieswithknives on here, youtube, etc…. mostly cuz of yhsr!bunny but PLEASE if you care about yhsr controltrio lore ever please talk to me. i love them so much.

main dni !

-obvious stuff like bigots (TERFs, queerphobia, racism, misogyny, etc)

-wilbur dream samgladiator supporters i Just like characters i do not attach myself to the creators themselves of Anything anymore. except i never liked dream

-if u think mcyt stuff is rpf when it rlly isn’t… ofc there is rpf of those guys but i’m always talking about the characters in reference to plotlines or fanfics. i’m sorry they share names across c! and cc! i didn’t do that, they did !

-if u post excessively about disliking any of my previously discussed favs or any of my mentioned fav medias. u can dislike them that’s fine but i’d prefer if u keep it to urself so if u post a lot about it please just avoid me 🙏🙏

-if u can’t stand hermitshipping. sorry it’ll probably happen here at least once. plus in my head all of the grian smps r connected in one big web (i will tell u about it if u want btw) so in my mind hc!grian is the same guy as mr. gay sex over here (ts!grian)

-if ur a hater

i don’t use tumblr much so if u read this and wanna be mutuals just ask about my instagram i’ll give that to u :33 it’s my main platform!

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

I Warned You

Summary: Soldier Boy has warned you, and you've disobeyed his direct order once again. You should have known punishment was coming.

Warnings/Explicit 18+: Smut. All smut. Dom!Soldier Boy, Sub!reader, spanking with a belt, pain, tears, degrading names used, punishment, implied smut, implied pussy spanking, implied over-stimulation, implied edging, implied orgasm denial.

Pairings: Soldier Boy x Y/N

Word Count: 389

A/N: So, I’ve decided to do all 30 of these writing prompts. I may miss a day here and there, but I’m going to try to do one a day, and I will be completing all 30 no matter what.  They won’t always be in order.  This fic will be for the prompt: Write only the dialogue for a scene.

I will be putting together a Masterlist for all 30 prompts and adding it to my main Masterlist.

A/N 2: So, I saw this post from @siospins2 and I decided I just had to write that fic she mentioned, sorry if this is much dirtier than you'd imagined! I'm not even sure this could be classified as a fic - it's literally just filth, since it's literally, just dirty dom/sub talk. It was weird to write something with no prose whatsoever, but kind of an interesting exercise. As you're reading, I invite you to remember just how fucking sexy Soldier Boy's voice is! 🤤🤤🤤 Hope you enjoy this for what it is!

(Oh, and P.S. @charred-angelwings this post is the inspiration for the shield inclusion! So thank you! 😁)

The beautiful text divider at the bottom, was created by @firefly-graphics

“Private Y/L/N! Get your ass into my tent, now!”

.

.

.

“Yes, Sir?”

“What did I say would happen the next time you disobeyed a direct order, private?”

“I would receive discipline.”

“That’s right.  I warned you. And did you or did you not disobey my direct order by charging into that fucking fight, half-cocked like you did?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“What did I say your discipline would be, private?”

“Bent…bent over your shield and given twenty lashes.”

“That’s right.  Now, I drove the shield into the ground far enough to hold your weight when you’re bent over it.  So, get those fatigues down to your ankles, get on your knees, and bend over the shield, hands flat on the ground, ass in the air.”

.

“Now!”

“Y-Yes, Sir.”

.

.

“Ass up, further.  Now, I’m using my belt, piss me off more and I’ll go cut down a switch.  Twenty strokes.  Count them off.”

“Yes, Sir…one!”

.

.

“Two! Three! Four!”

“Get your fucking hands back on the ground.  You try to cover your ass one more time, and your punishment will go on all night. And it’s gonna involve a hell of a lot more than my belt connecting with your ass.  You understand me?”

“Yes, Sir, I’m sorry.”

“Start at four again, since that last one didn’t count.”

“Four!”

.

.

“Five. Six. Seven!”

“Save your fucking tears. You put other soldier's lives in danger today with your actions. You know you deserve every stroke, tell me.”

“Yes, Sir, I deserve it.”

.

.

“Eight!”

“Nine!”

“Ten!”

“Eleven!”

“Twelve!”

“ Thir-“

“Fucking disobedient, bitch! Get your hands on the fucking ground! I warned you. You’re going to be begging me for mercy by the time I’m done with you now. But first you’re going to take these last eight strokes.”

“Yes, Sir.”

.

“Thirteen!”

“Fourteen!”

“Fifteen!”

“Sixteen!”

“Spread your legs, bitch.  These last four are for your pussy.  Gonna get it ready to be fucking ruined by me. This cock is gonna have you begging to come, but it’s not gonna happen. I’m gonna bring you to the edge over and over and over, and maybe, sometime tomorrow, if you beg me like a good, obedient little soldier, I’ll let you come on my cock.”

.

.

.

“Stop crying, whore. I warned you.”

@lyarr24

To see the second part of the night, read the short sequel:

Creating a Rebel

1 - Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays.

@siospins2

@impalaslytherin

@maggiegirl17

3 - Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.)

@sunshineandwings86

@kazsrm67

@sexyvixen7

4 - Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well)

@unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men

@awkward-and-indecisive

@maliburenee

@supernatural4life2022

@spn730015

@b3autyfuldisast3r

@kickingitwithkirk

@waywardbaby

@foxyjwls007

@deanwanddamons

@deandreamernp

@deanwithscissors

@myloversgone

@snowlovespie

@leigh70

@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

@fangirlxwritesx67

@charred-angelwings

@hopefuldreamers-world

@mysherlock221b

@jensensgotyoudean

@stixnstripesworld

@thoughts-and-funnies

@magssteenkamp

@norman1967

@princessmisery666

@eevvvaa

@mishkatelwarriorgoddess

@deepsketchsupernaturalcowboy

@b-i-t-c-h-i-e

@twirpbunwarrior

@mysweetlittledesire

@waynes-multiverse

@mrsjenniferwinchester

@bernasaurus

@jensenslady79

Masterlist

Tag Lists

[dyspraxic-fantastic]

Ok, so I've now seen the good old debate about RPF starting up again, and whilst I'm not getting involved in that debate, the main reason why everyone is so angry, upset, anxious and a whole mix of other feelings about what's just happened goes way beyond what people are writing. It's the fact that our privacy is being invaded, by our fics being read out when we don't want them to, and then being made fun of when we have spent time and effort writing them, to name a few reasons. I think we all understand that there is the risk that the fics we post could end up outside of the bubble but the thing is, the space is there for people who want to find it, who want to read stuff. Anyone who doesn't should have at the least, the understanding and respect (F1twr seems to have neither) that if they don't want to look at it, then don't look at it. I'm so sorry to all the authors who had their fics read out. Also, friendly reminder to all those out there who don't like what we write, The F in the whole thing stands for fiction, it's not real and bares no relation to the people who are mentioned in the fics, and we all have a common and basic understanding about that one.

[henrik-von-schneeplestein]

People probably bash s*ptiplier around know cuz of the yearly ship thing and also because Jack says he's severely uncomfortable with it

Jack said he’s uncomfortable with people sending septiplier to him (including putting it in the main tag) or harassing him or the people in his life about septiplier or, yes, nsfw septiplier content as a whole, but he also said he’s equally uncomfortable with people harassing septiplier shippers who don’t participate in any of those things, which is exactly my point - the hard truth of the matter is that if there are any septiplier shippers still out there, they seem to be keeping their end of the bargain bc I never hear anything out of them. But there are posts circulating, some in the main tag, that are calling any of them who might still be around ‘gross’ and ‘weird’ and THAT’S what I have a problem with, because it’s equally disrespectful of Sean’s wishes, and more pressingly, it wouldn’t be okay even if he’d never said that. There’s plenty of valid reasons to be personally uncomfortable with RPF, but as long as The Crown is streaming on Netflix and Bohemian Rhapsody was a box office success and “the last great american dynasty” is on a grammy-nominated album, I don’t think it’s fair to say it just shouldn’t be done at all. I don’t understand how you can say that you’re trying to promote respect for real people when you’re calling real people disgusting.

I’m sorry if I’m missing something but I don’t entirely know what you mean about the shipping event this time of year. I don’t think there’s one on Tumblr, but maybe septiplier shippers have like a ship week on another platform?? In that case I would just say, again, if they’re adhering to the rules and tagging it properly, keeping it sfw, keeping it out of inappropriate spaces, then I’m sorry,  but I’m far more uncomfortable with the fact that there’s such huge and mainstream backlash that it’s noticeable for me every year, because again, one group is respecting Sean’s boundaries and keeping to themselves and the other isn’t.

The only other thing I could think of re: the event is the Thankmas stream, and sorry to beat a dead horse but again, I’ve been here for years, and I’ve never seen any septiplier circulate after Thankmas, so if it’s just that people start a wave of bashing every year just because they think it *MIGHT* happen, then I’m sorry, THOSE are the people who can’t let Mark and Sean be in a room together without thinking of/bringing up septiplier.

[ladyreapermc]

Fic: This isn’t a rom-com (1/?)

Author’s notes: So this was basically the first thing I started writing when I got back to Keanu fandom after Parabellum, but it remained sitting on my files because it still felt weird to write and share rpf. But after so many rewrites, I think I’m finally ready to do it. I’ll be posting new chapters every Monday and I’d love some feedback. The entire thing is set in 2013.

Wordcount: 2174

Warnings: none for this part

Part 2   Part 3  Part 4 Part 5

As Lilah stood outside the address given to her, she took a deep breath and asked herself for the third time what was she thinking when she let Isaac talk her into doing this. She had so much to do.

Sure, she had the morning off since her advisor was out of town for a conference, but Lilah still could have been prepping her Monday class or even reviewing her paper.

But Isaac knew her too well. He argued that it had been ages since she had taken a day to herself and as soon as the words movie set came out of his mouth, she dropped everything else and came running. The prospect of since the cinema magic working up close was too good to pass up.

So, she waited outside the set, waiting until Isaac finally showed up, dark curls sticking to his reddish face, probably from jogging through the building. He flashed the security staff a quick bright smile, before ushering Lilah inside, guiding the way through a maze of corridors, walking so fast Lilah barely had the time to take a proper look at everything.

“Thanks so much for doing this, Lih! You’re a lifesaver,” he commented over his shoulder. “One of our extras just didn’t show up today and we’re behind schedule already.”

“It’s fine,” she said as they stopped by a table where an agitated looking brunette sat with a clipboard and walkie-talkie. She checked Lilah’s ID, before collecting her contact information and telling Isaac to take her to the wardrobe department to change.

Before Lilah could even finish shoving her ID back in her pocket, Isaac was whisking her away.

“So, what kind of movie is this?” Lilah asked as she exchanged her street clothes for the costume, a beautiful red dress, and some killer heels. “It’s not a rom-com, is it? Izzy, I’ll kill you if you’re making me play extra in a rom-com.”

“It’s an action flick, relax,” he replied, and Lilah could actually hear the eye-roll in his tone. “I will never understand your hatred for rom-coms.”

“What’s to like about them?” she asked stepping out of the dressing room. “They sell women unrealistic, almost pathological expectations for love and romance, also…”

“Lih, this isn’t your dissertation. You don’t have to always take it so seriously.” Isaac said cutting her off as he led her to the hair and makeup chair.

“I mean, one can appreciate all the clichés without really thinking it’s gonna happen to them. I mean, how many couples do you know that started as two unlikely people that are perfect for each other having that first meet-cute then moving on to silently pinning over each other. Then having the classic love triangle that might lead to the epic conflict and break up so they can have a heartfelt reunion later, with the grand romantic gesture, the speech and finally their happy ending…”

And even though Isaac’s words pointed out the improbability of it, his dreamy tone told Lilah he still hoped it could happen to him someday.

Lilah rolled her eyes fondly because he was such a hopeless romantic.

She, on the other hand, prided herself on being pragmatic. She believed in love, of course. She wasn’t that jaded at twenty-nine; but to Lilah, love wasn’t something that just happened. You didn’t just stumble on the love of your life by accident someday.

“You look smoking, honey!” Isaac declared, snapping Lilah out of her thoughts. “Come on! Chad and David are already on set and ready to shoot.”

Lilah only had time to grab her bag before he was leading her once again through the maze of corridors to and ample room that looked a lot like a speakeasy, from the jazz band on the stage, to the smoky air, dim lighting and leather booths.

“Now all you have to do is sit still and look pretty.” He flashed her a teasing smile and ignored her eye-roll. “I’ll check on you during lunch break.”

Lilah waved her goodbye and watched as he moved to a pair of men standing by some monitors talking. They exchanged a few words, before Isaac disappeared again, probably off to run another task.

They filmed for around two hours straight. Lilah couldn’t see much of was going on because her table was facing the band and away from the area the camera seemed to be focused on and she couldn’t exactly turn to see, even if she really wanted to, but she managed to sneak a couple of glances whenever they called cut.

“Ok everybody, let’s take 15,” one of the directors announced.

Lilah stood up, stretching her back to work out the kinks of being sitting still for too long in an uncomfortable chair.

She took a few moments to search for Isaac, but he was nowhere around the main room and Lilah didn’t want to risk getting lost in the building. Instead, she picked a water bottle and a protein bar from craft service and looked for a quiet place to wait for filming to resume.

Lilah found a hidden corner in of the set, out of the way from most of the staff and quiet enough that she could pull out her book. She settled on one of the free chairs to read a little. Soon, she was absorbed by the text, shutting off everything else until a passage caught her attention, and Lilah couldn’t help but snort at it and offer a counterargument under her breath.

“Are you pro or against dualism?” Someone asked from just outside her line of vision, probably catching the cover of her book when Lilah held it closed while digging for a pen in her bag.

“Against obviously,” Lilah replied with a small snort as she looked up, her eyes going wide at the sight before her. Shock making her drop her pen and book, which he picked up.

“Really?” He asked with a curious frown. “Why?”

Lilah as she stared at him, she couldn’t get her throat to work.

He was so much taller than he looked on the screen, with broad shoulders and a strong chest. His dark hair was slicked back with gel, the tips touching his nape. He was spotting a well-trimmed beard, some fake bruises, and a black three-piece suit. Lilah didn’t think anyone could be this handsome, but she was obviously wrong.

“Where are my manners…” he said offering a hand. “Hi. I'm Keanu.”

The gestured kickstarted Lilah’s brain again and she shook his hand with a quick, embarrassed laugh.

“I’m sorry! Hi. Lilah,” she rushed to say. “I’m Lilah.”

“Nice to meet you, Lilah,” he said with a warm smile.

“So, you don’t believe in the mind…” he commented, handing her pen and book back and Lilah did her best to smooth the wrinkled edge.

“As an immaterial entity that exists apart from our bodies like Descartes proposed? Not really. I mean, let’s face it, he just gave it a pseudo-scientific look to the idea of a soul.”

Lilah looked up from her book, catching the way he was watching her with a smile.

“Sorry,” she huffed a breath with an embarrassed smile. Was she really babbling about dualism to Keanu Reeves?

“No, no,” he assured, taking a seat next to her. “Go ahead.”

“Uh… well,” she hesitated, glancing at him again. “I mean, it’s been what? A couple of thousand years? Probably more, but we still can figure out what the mind is.”

“I always thought of it as what makes us human. Theoretically, of course.”

“Ok but wouldn’t that be more like what it does than what it is?” she pointed out. “But let’s run with it, anyway. How does a mind make us human?”

“Well, for one, isn’t it supposed to give us a conscience, intelligence, all that…” Keanu trailed off with a hand gesture and Lilah smiled.

“But those brain functions. Are we saying the mind is the brain?” she couldn’t contain the way her smile widening even more. This was fun.

She loved talking philosophy, but Lilah rarely had the chance of doing it outside a classroom. And here she was actually talking dualism with fucking Neo!

“If it was the same thing, why would we need two concepts?” he inquired, brow furrowing in a small thoughtful frown.

“You just made my point for me,” Lilah said, and Keanu chuckled. “And it can’t be part of the brain either, because theories seem to agree that the mind isn’t material and our brains are very material.”

“Maybe there’s another dimension out there,” he offered with a shrug, leaning forward on his elbows which brought him closer to Lilah.

She bit her bottom lip to suppress the urge of making a Matrix joke.

“Ok, but then how is something that is immaterial influences our very material selves?”

Lilah watched as Keanu paused, considering her argument, that thoughtful frown returning, and Lilah took that time to admire him. If her teen self could see her now, she would probably have a heart attack. Keanu had been her movie crush for as far as she could remember, ever since she watched the Matrix for the first time.

And here he was, in the flesh, just talking to her. It was almost surreal. Was this a dream? Was she going to awake any minute in her bed?

“Alright, you got me,” he said with a smile, catching her attention. “I have no idea, but don’t you think there should be something there? Shouldn’t a man be more than just atoms and chemicals? Something more transcendental?”

“What? You’re a Kant man?”

The words were out of her mouth before she could contain herself. Her tongue slipping on the pronunciation, making it sound like a completely different thing and Keanu busted out laughing, turning bright red.

It took a second for Lilah to realize how it sounded, but when she did, she covered her face with her hands, mortified.

“Oh my God! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean…”

“It’s ok,” he assured, still chuckling. “It’s fine. Really. I am not a Kantian, no but I can see the value in his transcendental man theory.”

Lilah tried to make her mouth work, to say something else but all she managed was an embarrassed chuckle. She could feel her cheeks burning.

“I’m so, so sorry…” she managed, voice coming out muffled. “I just…”

“Sometimes you forget to double-check what are you saying before putting it out there?” He asked with a soft smile and she nodded. “I do that all the time. Don’t worry.”

“Is there a way to fix that?” she asked, finally lowering her hands.

“I’ll let you know when I find it,” he replied with a little smile, before he ducked his head, letting out a small chuckle.

For a moment they just sat there, still chuckling together, cheeks red and awkwardly avoiding each other’s gaze, until someone cleared their throat behind them and making both turn around to look.

Isaac stood there with his hand pressed to the earpiece he wore and a clipboard in hand. Lilah could see he was barely containing his smirk as he looked between her and Keanu and she winced, wondering how much he had heard.

“Sorry to interrupt. Keanu, Chad needs you.”

“Thank you,” Keanu said getting up and turning to look at Lilah. “It was very nice to meet you, Lilah.”

“You too,” she replied with a small smile, watching as he walked away before turning to look at Isaac with wide eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me you worked with Keanu Reeves?”

“I don’t work with him, I work around him,” Isaac pointed out with a frown. “Also, that was the nerdiest flirting I’ve ever seen.”

“What are you talking about? I wasn’t flirting.”

“Yeah, right!” Isaac snorted in disbelief. “Come on. Break’s over.”

Lilah followed Isaac back to the main area of the set and the same table from before. This time, she caught a glimpse of Keanu chatting with one of the directors. She thought his lips quirked into a smile when he saw her, but she was probably just imagining as she sat down again.

“Shit! I should have asked for an autograph. Or is that too weird?” Lilah asked Isaac.

She was doing so well, but that Kant thing threw her off and she went right back to that strange awkwardness she usually had around people she found attractive. Lilah really thought she had outgrown that.

“It’s not weird. Extras ask for autographs all the time,” Isaac said with a shrug. “And maybe while you at it, you can ask him out.”

“Haha.” Lilah rolled her eyes at the way Isaac wiggled his eyebrows at her. “Isaac, no! It’s Keanu Reeves. Are you nuts?”

“Fine,” he replied with a huff, but the glint of amusement in his eyes didn’t fade. “But you do know what that felt like right?”

Lilah frowned in confusion and he flashed her an excited grin.

“It felt straight out of a rom-com.”

­­­tbc

Go to part 2

Taglist (give me a shout if you want to added.)

@poisonedjoinery @ringa-starr @curly-minnie @i-cant-remember-my-old-login

@caryled @beyond-antares @kathorax @krazycags01 @meetmeinthematinee

@red-pill-blue-pill @baphometwolf666

[mintycanoodles]

mmmmmmaybe a Cupcake Wars au where the Graduation Kiss never happened and Bitty and Jack went their separate ways never able to shake the feeling they missed out on something big and maybe neither of them really get over it but what can you do but waste countless sleepless nights thinking about what if’s??

so a handful of years down the road Bitty has his bakery and Jack is the darling of the Falconers but is a walking talking PR disaster who never really grew out of the hockey robot thing. so.

The Falconers are having some sort of Thing and get involved with Cupcake Wars to promote it. And who gets guest judge duty? To work on his public persona and media navigational abilities? Jack of course.

And who, of course, is one of the contestants??? Bitty duh so Bitty goes, and iirc contestants aren’t told the theme or guest judge beforehand so the drama bomb that drops when eyes meet and repressed feelings get tapped into and yeeesh now that’s what I call Awkward.

so. Despite two participants with major internal and interpersonal drama happening, the episode actually goes mostly smoothly. Neither Jack nor Bitty mentions it to anyone on the production team because whose business is it anyway and obviously no one did any homework on them so they?? act like they just don’t know each other???????? It’s not like they can sneak off for five minutes and hash it out so both just. Try not to interact directly too much but come on you know things happen.

Bitty can’t exactly forget Jack’s favorites and Jack cannot even begin to be unbiased (not when every taste he gets of Bitty's baking feels like home again, even after all this time). Jack may or may not fight the judges at every critique aimed at Bitty’s cupcakes, but Bitty hardly needs it, he solidly trounces the competition and wins. And gets invited to the Falconers Thing. Which works out pretty great in Jack's eyes.

Except it doesn’t. Bitty avoids him all evening? He cold shoulders Jack the whole time and Jack kind of gets it, the cameras are still rolling and they can’t exactly catch up now but still? Before Jack gets anything approaching a chance to talk Bitty packs up and he’s out of there as soon as he’s contractually able to.

So Jack may or may not eat his feelings in cupcakes over it. It feels like another missed opportunity and it stings and he wonders how he keeps getting it so wrong.

According to Georgia it’s an unqualified success. She watches the footage, pats him on the back for going through with it, and says something offhand about how well he got on with a few of the contestants (one in particular she notices. she doesn’t mention it). Jack gets in a funk over it, but there’s nothing to do but forget about it until the episode airs.

No one, definitely not Georgia, definitely not the PR department, is prepared for the chaos the premier causes. It’s not immediate, the episode comes out on a quiet Tuesday and the Falcs do some promotion for it, but not much, so some of Jack’s diehard fans watch it but they’re not expecting any kind of major major response. It was supposed to be something small and light to soften Jack’s image and work his media relations muscles. Who even watches Cupcake Wars anyways???? Plenty do. And they go nuts for the episode.

People who have no idea who Jack is, barely an idea what hockey even is, see Mr. tall dark and Canadian and see too exactly what Georgia had seen. Bitty and Jack and all the special attention paid to the little southern baker boy.

It’s, of course, obvious to anyone with eyes the sparks between them, the lingering looks, how Bitty can barely stop from grinning when Jack lists off his every favorite part of Bitty's cupcakes but has monosyllabic responses for the other contestants. As subtle as the two thought they’d been, they really hadn’t and it’s only a matter of time before it’s trending on Twitter and every lovelorn Cupcake Wars fan is writing RPF and subtweeting the Falcs and Bitty's account about it.

This is not exactly the public image Georgia had been hoping Jack would cultivate. They try to put out the fires, calm things down and make a few #relatable Twitter posts about it that the PR interns cook up. Georgia wheedles the real story out of Jack, and it throws her off kilter actually, once he fesses up to a few details that would make the collective heads of the internet reel, but she’s a professional. The PR team is a crack squad. They get things under control.

Until, of course, some intrepid fans uncover The Truth.

Mamely, how Bitty and Jack totally knew each other because they were totally on the same hockey team in college??? And had totally set records together and there were totally pictures still archived on school websites of celebration hugs and even a few traces left of a senior photography project that featured one Eric R. Bittle (and others) in touchingly intimate portraits???? and uhhhhh explanations????????? are needed?????????

#cupcakegate takes the Twitterverse by collective storm. Kardashians whom??? Bitty gets bombarded, the Falconer’s can’t make a single post about a home game without demands for updates on the drama and Georgia is nearly drowning in it all but wading through it like a champ.

The PR department reaches out to Bitty in an email that Bitty never responds to, his stomach too tied up in knots over all this debacle is bringing up, but he feels like this is partially his fault. He tries his best. He does a tell all vlog to set the record straight.

He tries to keep it simple, stick to the main points.

Why didn’t they say anything? Why act like they didn’t know each other?

Neither of them knew the other would be there (truth) and they didn’t want to disrupt filming or make it seem like Bitty had an unfair advantage.

Are they currently romantically involved?

No (truth).

Had they ever, at any point, back in college, been romantically involved?

No (truth?).

Was there anything, anything at all behind the long looks and soft gazes? A single spark? An ounce of unspoken, hidden attraction?????

No (lies).

Bitty bears his heart a little, gets going on a tangent on their relationship back in college and how much Jack helped him through and what a good team they’d been and how he’s a little sad he and Jack drifted so far apart (lies, it hurts, it’s never stopped hurting) but he’s happy for Jack and really proud of him and glad he got the chance to see him again and wishes him the best (truth).

Of COURSE this only makes things worse. Bless Bitty's heart but he has zero self awareness when it comes to Jack and his clearly lovesick vlog brings avid followers of the whole debacle to new emotional heights. People are invested. The drama continues.

It comes to a head when Jack himself braves the world of Twitter, finally, to try and hash things out privately with Bitty so he logs onto the dusty old handle Georgia created and verified for him ages ago that he’d, bless her heart, just never gotten the hang of. He knows Bitty's handle from all this hullabaloo now so he opens up a message, stares at the blinking screen for about a minute, then promptly has a breakdown.

Everything comes back to him. Every warm moment they’d shared back in college. Every time he felt Bitty there for him and every inch of home and safe Bitty ever gave him.

And how he never told Bitty how he felt (lies. still feels). How he’d let that slip right through his fuckup fingers.

It takes him two weeks to draft the message. That’s ages in internet time, so things die down a bit in the interim and other celebrity dramas unfold so Jack finally stops getting pestered about it by every pap and chirped by every team mate. He’s glad they’ll never put him on reality baking competition show duty again but is it worth it? (yes. yes it is)

It gives Jack plenty of time to stew and stew he does, until he’s finally able to write out a pretty succinct summary of everything he never got a chance to say.

It boils down to a couple main points:

Bitty was probably the best thing that ever happened to Jack. Bitty made him softer and better able to handle things and just gave him the safety net he needed and he would always be grateful to Bitty for that.

Jack had also never meant for them to drift apart, he’d always wanted to stay in touch, actually, he’d always wanted so much more than that but Jack knew Bitty didn’t feel the same way, so Jack created the space between them and he was sorry he’d been such a poor friend and had gotten it so wrong.

Jack hoped, maybe beyond hope, that it wasn’t too late. Jack asked if they could be friends again, that he missed Bitty, and he hoped to hear back from him.

Jack is rather proud of himself for all the emotional eloquence that goes into the message. He thinks Shitty would be, too. Of course, it is kind of annoying he has to split it up into so many pieces and tag Bitty's account in each one so they’ll send to him, something about a 140 character limit? Jack doesn’t really get it, but social media isn’t his thing. So he sends his piecemeal message and waits patiently for Bitty to get back to him.

Georgia regrets ever trying to get Jack any amount of media exposure.

Jack’s not so private love letter is screen capped, saved to hard drives, printed into longevity and takes the internet land by storm all over again. Jacks completely oblivious to it until day two or so when Shitty, Lardo, and every person he knew at any point at Samwell bomb his phone. Georgia does her best, she really does, but it’s the last straw for the PR team. They’ve long since collapsed in a puddle of tears and Georgia has to coordinate the disaster relief effort herself and enforce the media lockdown until they can just deal with this and Jack, it’s okay, we’re all here for you and your sexuality is valid but honey, no more internet for you. Georgia does take the thread down but its too little too late and there is going to be a million and one interviews about this and she hasn’t slept in days and-

and Jack feels bad for her. He feels a little embarrassed his personal business is so out in the open like that but. Well. It’s his own fault. He should have probably asked a few more questions about how to work Twitter. But deep down? It’s a huge weight off. He’d never exactly planned on coming out publicly because he never really thought he’d have anyone who would make him consider it but. Well. He’s said what he needed to say. About time.

He lets Georgia tell him what to do and what to say to whom. He does a few interviews, nothing televised, just a few online publications. It takes several more weeks for any of it to approach any sort of calm again, but eventually, an equilibrium is reached. And then, only then, does Jack get a call from a number he doesn’t have saved yet.

“Hey, Jack,” he hears in a thick southern accent when he picks up, and it doesn’t, not at all, send a shiver of pure warmth all the way down to his toes (lies, all lies).

“Bittle-Eric? Bitty. Hey,” he says. Bitty laughs.

“I think maybe we should talk. Would you, maybe, want to meet up for coffee sometime?”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course, I’d love that.” (truth)

[johnmurphysreddit]

Despite seeming like a fandom old I’m actually fandom middle aged.  I joined online fandom when AO3 was still invite only with far less content than FFN and Tumblr was just taking over from LJ / Dreamwidth.  I’ve never done a kinkmeme.  Until now.  A primer on the currently running The 100 Kinkmeme under the cut from someone who was clueless about the whole thing 48 hours ago. (TL;DR: Dreamwidth doesn’t suck to use as much as it seems to at first glance) 

Q. What’s a kinkmeme? 

A. Anon prompt and fills event.   This one is The 100 focused and happening on Dreamwidth. 

Q. What’s a fill??

A. Writing a story that satisfies someone’s prompt.  There are also requests for art. I don’t think they’ve written a specific answer on aesthetic sets but it’s not like someone is going to be mad to get more fuel for their fantasy. 

Q. I don’t write fic.  

A. No problem. Read the prompts and enjoy.  Write a prompt and share the power of your imagination.  Someone else might have the same fantasy and write it for you or some stranger may obsess about your fantasy for the next year and you’ll never know it.  Kinky. There are also some replies that are just “OMG YES!”.  Enthusiastic support of a scenario is part of the event. 

Q. I’m not starting another social media account for this. 

A.  You don’t have to.   More on this below. 

Q.  Is this just 9 pages of Bellarke and 4 Murphamy posts?

A. Not entirely, but yeah, there’s a lot of Bellarke. You could change the percentage by participating. Also they’re up to 24 pages of prompts after 24 hours.  I haven’t seen this much content this fast in this fandom without an episode airing.  Tis a nice change. 

Q. I read some prompts and now I need brain bleach. 

A.  I feel your pain.  YKINMK means your kink is not my kink.  It’s an old fandom standard, and this is an old fandom type event.  There’s going to be some hard pass stuff in there for most people.  You don’t have the right to know who’s using kink to process past trauma and who’s just into some off the beaten path kink.  Live and let live. 

Q.  Some of those posts shouldn’t exist!

A. I feel the same way about boxing and war, but here we are.  Nancy Friday’s My Secret Garden came out in 1973 and people are still acting shocked that women have some dark fantasies, many of which they almost certainly would never want to come true.  No RP fic requests for people under 18 is the only hard line this thing seems to have, so complaining to the mods is a non starter.  Find something elsewhere that suits you. This event isn’t to your taste.  

Q. I get off on fluff.  Is that kinky?

A.  I can’t tell you how sexy a man who does the dishes is because I’m too busy wiping my drool off the table.  The mods have said that while smutty smut is more typical non smutty prompts are OK. 

Q. Back to fandom specific concerns.  How much Echo/Lexa/Emori hate is in this thing? If I’m pro those characters am I welcome in this event?

A. Too much hate, but that’s this fandom.  Ignore the haters and/or write glorification fics that will annoy them. There’s also some prompt and antiprompt drama.  The mods have promised to delete anti posts, but I don’t know who the mods are or what their standard for anti is.  Most people participating so far seem to be aware of the Don’t Be a Dick standard even if a few are trying pretty hard to smudge the line and call it a fantasy.  You aren’t an anti just by existing and they’ve said it’s open to all ships. That standard applies in reverse, too, so if someone needs a villain for their prompt to work and they pick your fave for it... sigh.. the active part of this fandom is just skewed Like That...  It’s been 7 years... 

Q. I feel like starting some drama. 

A. Try here. 

Q. Is this thing racist / sexist / homophobic / other concern?

A.  The thing, no.  Some of the prompters and fillers, probably.  The stats at the end depends on who prompts and fills. 

Q. I’m just not up for a single moment of ship war nonsense.

A.  The 100 kinkmeme Tumblr has a link to a script you can use to block certain words. It’s one of those times when you may need to block an entire character.  Maybe participate by posting your own prompts and skewing the stats. It’s not free of shipwar nonsense because it’s not free of shippers.

Q. Anything I need to know about posting prompts? 

A. There are some required tags, your standard old school TW list.  dub-con, non-con/rape, incest, underage, necrophilia, gore, bestiality and RPF. After posting some prompts I realized I should have done more keyword stuffing so the search is more likely to pull a prompt. Using both Echo/Bellamy and Becho or all of soft, sweet, gentle, other synonyms is kind to a person who may need to find your prompt again. 

Q I just want to search the prompts for my fave. 

A. Here: https://the100kinkmeme.neocities.org/jan20prompts.html Unfortunately searching the complied list of prompts for Echo gets you a concentrated dose of hate, so I can’t recommend doing that.   

Q. Show me the whole thing. 

A. Main page is here.  If you decide to post a prompt click the reply button under the arrows and above the page numbers.  (I’m on laptop right now. If it looks different on mobile, sorry.) 

Q. I wrote a thing.  Now what?

A. You can anon post your fill on Dreamwidth as a reply if you want. Use your own AO3 account and add it to the Anonymous collection to make it post on AO3 as anon or start a sock puppet (a secondary account) on the hoster of your choice (including AO3) and post your fic there then add it to the anon collection if you’re really concerned about privacy.  Then post a link to it in the kinkmeme as a reply. Use the prompt search so you can find the post you want to reply to. 

Q. What’s the deal with the focus on anon. 

A. When everyone uses it no one is weird for using it.  You can take your fic out of the anon AO3 collection and claim it after the event. 

Q. Isn’t this whole thing weird?

A. Whispering fantasies to your friends in the dark is how bonds are formed.  Walking up the the cashier in Target and announcing that you want to bend her over the display of oranges is creepy.  Keep fandom in its corners and if the actors choose to hunt out those corners that’s on them.  People have been sharing fantasies about fictional characters since well before the Tale of Genji and fantasizing about celebrities since the first king toured a village. 

[checkdispleased]

notes on episode 1: 1.1 eric bittle

1.1 Eric Bittle

Strip | June 7, 2013 (original post) | Blog (none yet)

Check Displeased 1

Link | April 15, 2020

~ ~ ~

Notes under the cut:

1:10 Camilla Collins is the captain of the women’s tennis team. Jack is set up with her for Winter Screw 2013, and goes with her again the next year.

3:12 There are 94 main installments of OMGCP and 10 supplemental strips outside of the main story ... sort of (??) -- so we’ll probably be covering 104 comics.

7:25 The first 15 pages of Ngozi’s screenplay Hardy, written at Yale, are available here.

8:15 In fact Lucy Knisley went to the School of the Art Institute of Chicago and then the Center for Cartoon Studies.

8:50 Hardy was actually written for a screenwriting class, according to the forward to the fist First Second volume, #Hockey.

9: 25 Check Please: Vol. 2: Sticks and Scones was released April 7, 2020. The final strip was posted online April 11.

9:50 ECAC is, in fact, a men’s hockey conference within the NCAA.

12:38 The Fall 2015 Year 2 Kickstarter earned $398,520 and it was formerly the most-funded comics Kickstarter ever. The success of the campaign made an impact even before it was concluded, and as of this writing in April 2020 Y2 and Y3 are still in the top 12 most-funded comics Kickstarters.

14:15 The latest update is that Y4 will be crowdfunded in late 2020 or early 2021.

14:30 Chirpbook.

16:00 tomato-greens, dba @tomatowrites, is on AO3 over here. The fic alluded to is @camilliar‘s The Model Home. Tomato made a podfic of it!

19:00 South who?

30:55 Hockey RPF on Fanlore:

“Although hockey fanfiction is not a new phenomenon, in 2012, hockey fandom saw a large influx of new fans. BNFs such as Thefourthvine, a popular reccer, helped spread interest in the fandom. Hockey RPF also attracted fans from Bandom , which was between major albums at the time. Reportedly, some Bandom BNFs also happened to live in Chicago, home of the Chicago Blackhawks, who won the Stanley Cup in 2010 and 2013.[note 2] [note 3]  On the AO3, 326 hockey fics were posted in 2011; this increased to 1237 fics in 2012, and 2805 in 2013. (Conversely, in 2010 there had been only 43 fics posted; those dated 2009 or earlier are only 127 in total).”

32:58 Twentysomething maybe?

35:15 Fucking a pie is of course the signature reference to the 1999 teen comedy American Pie.

That clicking noise is Sekrit navigating through panels of the comic, sorry.

[marypsue]

an author meme because @viletorpedo tagged me and I think we may have descended into a vicious author meme tagging cycle

Author Name: MaryPSue. My ffn is different, but also now defunct, so I don't see much purpose in putting that username here. This was a username I chose when I first signed up for tumblr back in 2011, based on a whim and the main character of a parody webcomic I was considering making. (It never came to fruition.) 

Fun fact: the 'P' doesn't stand for anything and is really just there for aesthetic purposes, though it has variously been used as an initial for Perfect, Pitch, and Perdita depending on context and circumstance.

Fandoms You Write For: Anything moderately popular which has either a dead kid as the main character, a fraught central sibling relationship, a female character Cursed With Awesome, or all of the above. Probably best known for stuff for Gravity Falls (and Gravity Falls Transcendence AU) and Rise of the Guardians/Guardians of Childhood fandoms, though I'm currently exercising my right to be the most basic of fandom bitches by primarily pouring my energy into canons where Tom Hiddleston portrays a dark-haired woobie who thinks of nothing but murder all day. (I know there's got to still be at least a ghost of a Crimson Peak fandom out there somewhere, dammit.)

Where You Post: Here, and AO3. Most things end up in both places, though I don't know what tumblr's policies re: links and the main search are anymore so often there isn't an AO3 link included on my tumblr fic posts.

Most Popular One-shot: By kudos, that'd have to be...A Semi-Normal Life (Gravity Falls, Transcendence AU)! I didn’t expect this one. 

Most Popular Multi-chapter Story: Again going by kudos, Raising Stakes (Gravity Falls). 

Favourite Story You Wrote: Picking just one is very hard, but I'm going to put in a good word, at this close date to Halloween, for Samhain (Rise of the Guardians, Guardians of Childhood). You don't need any familiarity with the source material to read this one; it's a ghost story and a romance and a tragedy with what is arguably a happy ending. Well, a happy ending for a ghost story.

Story You Were Nervous To Post: Definitely all of them, though I'll admit to a particular anxiety about posting others (MCU, Thor). Partly because the last thing I'd posted had not been working out on the writing end and I had to take it down because I was so unhappy with it (something I'd only done once before in my entire fic career) and I was completely unable to tell whether this was any better; partly because of the subject matter; partly simply because I have avoided a good 90% of all the MCU movies, especially the crossover-y Avengers ones, and so did not have the level of knowledge of canon that I like to have before posting things so I can be sure I haven't got simple details wrong. (Changing things deliberately from canon is one thing. Not knowing a thing which might turn out to have bearing on a fic is quite another.)

How Do You Choose Your Titles: Sometimes they're a bad pun that's relevant to the plot, premise, or themes of the story; sometimes they're stolen song lyrics or snippets of poetry; and recently I've caved and just started giving my silly working titles to oneshots, or titling them like episodes of Friends. (The SPN/MCU Thor crossover that I ended up taking down got the positively insipid and overused, if extremely relevant, Lana Del Rey lyric title 'gods & monsters' when I posted it, but the working title and probably the title I should have actually given it was 'oh whats THIS hot topic clearance bin nonsense now'.)

Do You Outline: Sort of.

Complete: 118 works and counting!

In Progress: Something Borrowed, Something Blues (Gravity Falls, Transcendence AU) and Imbalance (The Adventure Zone: Balance).

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: I'm sitting on a Crimson Peak/Haunting of Hill House (the novel, not any of the adaptations) crossover for Halloween that I'm really excited to share. I'm really thrilled with how it's turned out! It's a little experimental, a little romantic, a little queer, and hopefully a lot creepy.

Other than that, I've got a couple of continuations of things sitting in Drafts Limbo (there is some kind of ending in the works for The Family Business, though I have no idea how long it'll take to get there, and I have a host of ideas but no solid plot for what happens next in Girls In White Dresses), and some things I haven't shared because I'm not sure they're finished or that there's an audience for them or that they wouldn't be better off with the serial numbers filed off (a series of casefics where Dean Winchester gets cursed into a female body and is Not Particularly Happy About It At All, a definitely very hilarious probably non-canon-compliant oneshot where Darcy Lewis starts to suspect her new roommate is the supervillain of the week in disguise), but mostly my ideas lately have tended towards origfic. (Please. I have so many ideas and so many OCs for origfic. Help me.)

Do You Accept Prompts: Only if I announce I'm taking prompts on this blog. It does happen, though not as often as it used to.

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited To Write: Hm. Well, right now I'm juggling ideas for two or three silly romance novels: one that's a thinly-veiled Mystery Trio AU featuring incubi; one where a burnt-out author of paranormal romances goes on vacation and ends up having to solve a murder that looks like it was committed by a werewolf to clear her name; and one that's a Hallmark seasonal romance movie for Halloween, where a high-powered marketing director comes home and ends up getting involved in the effort to save an old inn, which turns out to be haunted by an amorous ghost.

I've also got a couple of Stephen King-esque horror stories set in small rural towns that prominently feature flashbacks, and one mystery/thriller in the vein of definitely not bfu rpf where I've deliberately badly filed the serial numbers off the MCU's stable of actors to look at what happens when a megacorporation decides that its contracts should give it absolute control, not only of its actors' bodies, but also their minds. (That sounds...so serious and meaningful when I put it like that. Don't be fooled, it's 100% an excuse to reimagine the Avengers as a bunch of competent women who are actually friends, and also do that 'what if actors started becoming their characters' thing that's always fascinated me, with a side of social commentary blatantly tacked on.)

But...no real plans to write anything that's going to get posted anytime soon, sorry. Unless y'all are particularly interested in my original fiction.

Tagging: @gretchensinister, @pingnova, @seiya234, and anyone else who I didn't tag the first time I think this came around and who wants to do it.

[drizzitwrites]

Football RPF Challenge - Day 9: Cuddling

I’m officially renaming today’s prompt as “We started out on a short, simple, straightforward journey and ended up somewhere I never even meant to pass through on the way to our destination that is also NOWHERE near our destination, but whatever, it’s a nice place so I guess we’re just here now.”

Today's prompt was supposed to feature cuddling. This one should have been remarkably easy, or at least it seemed so on the surface before I actually started writing anything.

Basically, the plan for today was a short spin-off scene that may or may not actually get used in the fic it's intended for (but could get posted later as a related work maybe?) of Vincent's injury recovery and Christian cuddling up with him on the sofa instead of going to dinner with friends because Vincent’s been sleeping in a separate room to keep from waking Christian up and Christian misses him.

That is.......not what I wrote.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I could get back there given some more time, but I took 1.5 hours to write what I have because I did that thing where I started a scene and then accidentally slid into a flashback (about things that happened like FIVE HOURS EARLIER, WTF, Drizz?). I thought about fixing it once I got back from the appointment I had to leave for, or at least finishing the scene and writing until we got to the point where Christian was actually there cuddling up with Vincent on the sofa, because (and I cannot stress the word *shouldn’t* enough here) it shouldn’t take much more to get us there. 

BUT! I have things to do and would like to spend time with my SO, etc. so I decided to just post this as is. It doesn’t adhere to the prompt AT ALL, but there’s an object lesson here:

Sometimes writing is like this. Sometimes you sit down at the computer with a brilliantly clear idea of what you’re planning to write that day. You know everything that’s supposed to happen in the scene and you know the players and you know the motivations and you know all the things you are supposed to know and then...it doesn’t go that way.

And usually that’s frustrating, especially when what comes of it isn’t good or useful or taking you anywhere and you just feel like you had this plan and instead you couldn’t execute it and ended up with a bunch of worthless words and wasted hours. BUT! Sometimes it takes you to a place you didn’t think of, but you’re like...THIS SCENE THAT I HAD NO INTENTION OF CREATING HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL AND I WANT TO EXPAND ON IT AND MAKE IT ITS OWN THING.

Basically, when your writing takes you someplace you never meant to go, you have to ask yourself:

1. Is this place somewhere I actually *want* to be and thereby worth exploring more? Should I keep going down this path a bit further?

2. Is it okay that we detour through here on the way back to the main plot? Should I finish out this scene and then figure out a way to steer us back on course?

3. Is this NOT AT ALL where I want to be and I’m just going to pretend all this writing didn’t happen and start over, following the plan? (If yes, don’t delete what you did, just put it in a separate “for later” doc, because, who knows, maybe that place you went will work just fine in another story or will turn into a story of its own someday).

Explore those tangents, friends. Because no path explored is made of wasted steps or something equally profound that makes more sense.

Vincent shifted a bit as he heard the unmistakable sound of Christian's garage door sliding closed, followed a minute later by the slight creak the inside door made as it swung open. Was it that late, already?

Christian had left earlier that morning, Vincent only half-awake and still mostly delirious from his 6:00 am dose of pain medication. Vincent vaguely remembered a cool hand smoothing the hair back from his forehead and Christian's soft lips pressing a kiss to his temple.

"I'm off to training, Liefje," he'd said, his voice soft and low, as though he were afraid to rouse Vincent from his near-constant sleep. "I left you some fruit and toast, although it might be cold by the time you get to it, sorry. Someone will be here later to check if you need anything, okay? I love you. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Vincent didn't recall what he'd mumbled in response, or if it had been even marginally coherent. He'd slipped back into a fitful sleep before he'd even heard the door click shut behind Christian.

Christian, in defiance of everyone's advice, had insisted on staying home from training for the past few days so he could help Vincent with his recovery. Vincent hadn't minded, of course; it had been nice to have someone around to bring him food and glasses of water and, much to Vincent's extreme embarrassment, help him down the corridor to the toilet. Still, the Premier League season was only just underway and with so many of Christian's teammates newly back to training after the World Cup and several others out with injuries or international duties, Christian's presence in the squad was even more critical than usual.

Somehow, he'd managed to convince Pochettino to let him have three days of leave ahead of their match with Manchester United the following Monday, and today had been his first day back following Vincent's surgery.

He hadn't expected to miss Christian much while he was gone for the day--it wasn't as if Vincent did much of anything besides crashing in and out of fitful sleep in-between his doses of painkillers--but it seemed he'd gotten rather used to Christian rushing to his side whenever Vincent made the slightest commotion.

Toby's wife, Shani, had turned up around midday, bearing gifts of salad and selection of sandwiches. She didn't look in much better condition to make the trek up and down Christian's stairs as she went to refill Vincent's gathering of water bottles and exchanged the dishes left behind from his light breakfast. She was due to give birth any day now, and Vincent wasn't at all sure she needed to be prioritising his care over her own, but she'd waved away his protests.

"This is the first time I've left the house in days," she'd said with a laugh. "Don't get me wrong, I think after today I might be happy to stay shut up indoors with my feet up until all of this is over, but it's nice to have a change of scenery for a time."

Vincent had shifted around on the sofa, attempting to prop himself up into a sitting position so Shani could sit down. She'd done her best to lean over and straighten the pillows behind him, but Vincent had shooed her away.

"No sense you hurting yourself," Vincent had told her. "I can only imagine what Toby would say if he found out if something happened on account of you helping me. Besides, I'm not sure either of us would be in a position to help the other if we both end up falling over or something."

Shani had let out a giggle at that, but she held up her hands and let Vincent struggle through rearranging himself until he was scooted into a sort of half-slouch against the corner and arm of the sofa, leaving half a cushion free for her to settle in.

They'd stayed that way for nearly two hours, talking and laughing as they caught up on everything they'd both been up to in the months since they'd last seen one another. For all that Vincent and Toby had always held one another at a distance, he and Shani had fallen into amiable companionship from the beginning. She was lighthearted and kind and Vincent had always found her easy to talk to. It didn't surprise him that she'd been the one to volunteer to come by and check on him while Christian was away at training, despite her rather advanced pregnancy.

After the fifth time Vincent had nodded off while she was speaking, she levered herself off the sofa and began gathering up the remnant cutlery and containers from their lunch.

"Don't..." Vincent started, a yawn swallowing away the rest of his words. "I mean...leave it all. Christian can clear it up when he gets home. I need to make the long trek down the hallway to the WC anyway, so I'll at least, I don't know, push it all into a pile with one of my crutches or something."

"I should help," Shani said, staggering a bit as she tried to shift her wait to help Vincent to a standing position.

Vincent held up a hand. "No, thanks. Really. I appreciate the offer, but...I'm not sure we're the sort of friends who help one another go to the toilet."

"Fair enough," Shani said with a laugh. "But I should at least stay until you're back and settled."

Vincent shook his head. "At the rate this process usually goes it will be at least another hour. Plus, as we established, if one of us falls down there's not much the other can do. We'd just end up having to call someone to help lift us both off the floor of Christian's hallway."

They both gave a laugh at that thought--two of them flopped side-by-side against the floorboards until they managed to ring up someone to help them up.

"Alright," Shani said at last, her full cheeks pink with laughter. "But you'd better not fall. Christian will never let me hear the end of it if he comes home to find you laying there and me nowhere in sight."

"I'll take all the blame, I promise," Vincent said.

He turned slowly, dropping his good leg off the sofa and onto the floor, then leaning forward to lift the other--still encased in an immobilising cast. Shani grabbed his crutches from where they were propped against the door and held them out towards Vincent so he could use them to push himself up off the sofa.

The whole process was awkward, and Vincent had to give up and crash back down to the cushions once before he managed to get the angle right, but he eventually ended up in a standing position, cool plastic of the crutches wrapped around his forearm, his bad leg bent behind him so his foot could rest on the sofa.

"Thank you again for coming by. I appreciate you taking the time, especially when you should be at home yourself."

"I had to come by. It's the only way I will get to see you since you never come along with Christian when he visits."

"It's..." Vincent started.

"When you're feeling well enough, please come by. I hope by then that I can introduce you to my daughter."

Vincent couldn't help but give her a smile at this.

He shifted his weight so he could press air-kisses to her cheeks--right, then left, then right again. "How could I say no when you ask me that way?"

"So I'll see you soon?"

"Of course. I hope everything goes well. With the birth, I mean. I look forward to meeting her."

Shani flashed him a wide smile, then turned to make her way slowly out the door and down the steps. Vincent followed after her, crutches creaking and thudding as he moved. He hovered at the top of the stairs, waiting until she was out of sight and he heard the click of the door and the soft clunk of the key turning in the latch before he turned to make the long trek down the hallway.

[saezutte]

Dear Yuletide Writer

Dear Yuletide Writer,

Happy end-of-the-year season! Thank you for writing for me!

This is my first time signing up for Yuletide, though I’ve been reading Yuletide fic for 14-15 years and it’s one of my favorite yearly traditions. Now I’m turning over a new leaf of active participation in my old age! I guarantee you I am much more worried about what I’m writing than what you’re writing—I’m pretty easy-going about the fic I read and I am going to try to help you out as best I can with this letter. If there’s something you’re unclear about, feel free to contact the mods or stalk me to find my preferences.

My AO3: saezutte

My public twitter: juncassis

My tumblr: here but I do not use tumblr much anymore, sorry.

Do Not Wants

[note: I have no actual triggers, nothing you can write for me will make me any more depressed or anxious than I already am]

Death (of major/important/beloved characters)

Suicide attempts

Rape

Angst without a happy ending, really too much angst at all

University/college settings

Established relationship

Cheating

Actual Unrequited Feelings

Pregnancy (the actual process; breeding kink is fine)

Scat or watersports

Hard BDSM or any kink complicated enough that the characters would have to discuss it ahead of time

Non-canon cisswapping or gender change (it’s ok if they do it in canon, e.g. HX/SQX)

Homophobia as a plot device

Excessive attention to sexual identity or queer politics

Note on AUs: I am ok with the usual popular AU tropes (except, see above, university settings) but I do not want them combined, e.g. A/B/O is fine and coffeeshop is fine, but I don’t want an omega barista getting his scent all over the lattes he makes for some alpha lawyer who comes in every morning. (Ridiculous example, but you get the point.) For AU/modern settings of fandoms with magic, I often like it when the magic is still there in the AU setting. I also like AUs which maintain the general outlines of the character’s relationships, like if the characters are childhood friends in canon, I like to keep that intact.

General preferences:

I am a pretty basic bitch when it comes to fanfic: I like it when two clueless boys pine for each other through some shenanigans and then lock eyes/lips/dicks.

If you fed a neural net every fanfic written in Stargate Atlantis fandom between 2005 and 2010, the result would probably be some nonsense I’d enjoy.

I love many tropes. Tropes! Bed-sharing. Sharing an umbrella. WASHING EACH OTHER’S HAIR? Confessions where they are having an argument and then one of them yells “Because I love you!” 

I love situations where characters are forced to spend time in close proximity and find themselves with feelings.

I love fakeness: fake dating, fake marriage, arranged marriage, marriage of convenience, fake lust induced by sex pollen or heats, aliens make them have sex, whatever. 

I’d prefer story/romance/build-up to PWP but you are welcome to write porn

Tian Guan Ci Fu

Requested characters: He Xuan, Shi Qingxuan

Note: If you don’t want to write those two, I would be happy with Hualian! There are other pairings I like as well, like Fengqing. I requested these two because they are the ones I want the most, but I like almost all of the characters in TGCF so if you want to write me something that sells me on your pet pairing, go for it. Caveat is that I don’t like Qi Rong (sorry cousin)—he makes me anxious, haha.

Why I like the canon: Tian Guan Ci Fu is my favorite of MXTX’s novels, which took over my life this summer. What I love about it is the gods/mythology angle. The different story arcs remind me of reading myths about gods going out on adventures—I love folklore and myths! I love Xie Lian, I respect him so much, and I love Hua Cheng. I love how dark the story gets and I love that I could read it while being relatively assured of a happy ending. But with MXTX, you only ever get that happy ending for the main pair, hence why I requested my side pair.

Why I like these characters: I was in love with these two when He Xuan was pretending to be a grouchy Earth Master who reluctantly goes along with whatever Shi Qingxuan wants. When it turned out to be ABOUT REVENGE and they have FATES WHICH ARE ENTANGLED TOGETHER, I promptly lost my mind. I like the contrast in personalities.

I love Shi Qingxuan as a happy gossip god who is friends with everyone and yet also still pretty good at his job (unlike a lot of the gods around). I like his struggle with realizing he wasn’t meant to be a god and I honestly like where he ends up at the end of the novel—but personally I’d like it better if he re-qualified as a god, haha. I love his sex switching and you are welcome to play with that, though I would prefer if it weren’t a straightforward switch where he (she) settles as a woman. With He Xuan… I love that he’s on this dark completely-justified vengeance quest but he is also kind of a mess? How in debt is he to Hua Cheng? Has he totally neglected his ghostly duties to play Earth Master in heaven? How did he feel starting to be friends with SQX when he’s still planning on ruining his life?

What I would like for these two is something between pure fluff / all the issues are solved / “decapitated brother who?” and angst. I think they mirror Hualian in a lot of ways and I wish they had a chance together!

Prompts:

Them meeting again post-canon: He Xuan not knowing what to do with his (after)life now that he’s got his revenge and not being totally sure what’s keeping him around now that his business is over. SQX living his happy beggar life and HX not sure how he’s still so energetic.

A canon divergent AU where He Xuan doesn’t pull off his revenge plot ? Instead something else happens?

A soulmate AU would work well for these two IMO

Modern AU where HX is infiltrating the company that destroyed his family business and falls in love with the heir to the company president

SQX reascending to godhood as a beggar god and HX suspecting he will come for him in revenge but he just wants to be friends again

The Untamed (RPF)

Requested characters: Wang Yibo, Xiao Zhan

Why I like the canon: Uh, it took over my stupid life this summer. I haven’t liked an idol in years. I have frequently said I don’t like RPF because the canon is too diffuse to keep up with! And yet look at my twitter. I’m living in a hell of my own making.

Anyway, I got into the RPF side for The Untamed initially because the fictional canon here was very overloaded with its status as an adaptation of a novel where the characters are already together and where there aren’t many points for a writer to jump in and add to it. So I got more interested in the actors’ dynamic particularly because it’s different from Wangxian—WYB is a gremlin! Xiao Zhan is the serious professional one! And then I fell in love with them and now this is my life.

Why I like these characters: I just love their stupid handsome faces, I can’t help it. Don’t look at me. I am more of a Xiao Zhan fan but I want to be Wang Yibo’s best friend and bully him.

With Xiao Zhan, I love his smile and I love that he can write a whole essay on Wei Wuxian’s character and I love that he was a regular person who worked in an office before deciding to join one of wjjw’s basically-a-scam idol raising shows and then accidentally becoming the most famous man in China. He’s so professional and serious in interviews and it’s a great contrast to how we see him goofing around with WYB and the others on set.

With Wang Yibo, I like that he’s a wild boy who will run off to race motorcycles at any minute. I would like to shove him a little bit, in an affectionate manner. I love that he’s always looking at XZ and smiling and doesn’t seem to care if anyone notices.

Prompts:

Fooling around on set leads to love? The most basic of basic  

AUs with different settings/meetings—maybe XZ is still a designer and his company ends up working with WYB (who is still an idol)? Or WYB is a pro motorcycle racer and XZ is a sports photographer?

They drift apart now but meet again in 10 years with Regrets

Porn star AU

Having to share a bed

WYB is scared of something! XZ comforts him!

Any dumb AU you want but I would like to veto ABO for this, it’s too weird for me when they’re real people.

The Untamed (TV)

Requested characters: Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian

Note: There are other CQL/MDZS pairings I like, namely Jiang Cheng/Nie Huaisang. I also like the junior trio (as OT3 or as various twosomes.) Also, one night I read a Jiang Cheng/Lan Sizhui fic and suddenly I got all these ideas for inappropriate uncle pairings JC/LSZ and LXC/JL. If any of that speaks to your heart instead, go wild.

Why I like the canon: So obviously I read the novel and plunged into this MXTX abyss for 100 years. With this adaptation, there are a few things I don’t like versus the novel but I’m happy to ignore them because I love what they did with the visuals and music and the acting choices. Some of the changes I also do love—I love how WWX seems to be so much more into LWJ from the beginning! I love seeing them goof around, I love drunk!WYB in the drama.

I also don’t like established relationship fic for the most part, so the censorship in this adaptation means I have more to play with in fanfic!

Why I like the characters: They invented love!!! They did. I particularly like them both as kind of messes… It’s easy to forget with how great Hanguang-jun is but he’s also bad at expressing himself and it gets him into trouble. Then you have WWX the deviant genius troublemaker with a heart of gold (even when he doesn’t have his golden core). They’re immature kids who can’t figure their shit out before things get serious and then 16 years later, they are emotionally stunted 30-somethings and (tbh) I feel that. These two are meant for each other and meant to wander the country following the chaos and getting into adventures together while fucking a lot.

Prompts:

How do Wangxian get together in this universe? Was it as teens? During the war? Did they split up? Did LWJ give in to temptation earlier than in the novel? When did WWX realize his feelings?

Fix-it for the ending where they separate!! Duh! Does anyone think them being apart is going to last?

Star Trek AU with the Lans as Vulcans

Uh, I really like A/B/O fic for these two.

MAGIC SEX CURSES. Fuck or die! Sex pollen! Particularly if they’re not a couple yet and this leads to awkwardness and getting together.

Nirvana in Fire (TV)

Requested characters: Mei Changsu, Xiao Jingyan

Note: I also love Lin Chen so if you want to write some MCS/LC or LC/Fei Liu or LC/MCS/JINGYAN OT3??? go for it. I am also a Nihuang/Xia Dong shipper so if you want to put that in… somehow… my gay little heart would be happy. I also like Nihuang/MCS/XJY or MNH/MCS + MCS/XJY but I’d like the focus on the men in that case! 

Why I like the canon: I watched this show because someone recommended this show to me as, like, Chinese Game of Thrones but good. I think it’s genuinely one of the best TV shows I’ve ever seen. I love plots and revenge and good people doing bad things for justice. Even the ending is good for me though obviously it left me unsatisfied on several points.

Why I like the characters: I am deeply into sickly doomed genius MCS and every time he got even more deeply ill, I fell deeper in love. Every time he coughs up blood, my heart would race. I love his terrible schemes and stupid self-sacrificing choices. I find watching this show very soothing because I knew he would always come out on top in his schemes. I trust him. I love handsome clueless Jingyan and how he’s just so good (it’s terrible.) I love his mom and how much he cares for her. I love him but he is useless, he needs his Xiao Shu and I need fanfic to restore him to him.

Note: So my limited research on this says that male/male sex practices were accepted and well-known in this time period in history, so I really don’t want them thinking “oh no what are these weird gay feelings.” There are other barriers to them being together, like a ruler or official being overly attached to one person was considered very bad. I am also a big supporter of the socially-approved polygamy of this time period, so I don’t need Jingyan to refuse to sleep with his wife or something out of loyalty to MCS—he has to do it! Or all their plans are ruined! And he can enjoy spending time with her or the concubines without affecting his feelings for MCS—you could explore that complexity in fic if you like.

Prompts:

Mei Changsu isn’t dead, he’s hiding again, Jingyan searches for him

They start having sex during the series, the ending is averted [somehow]

Post-canon, MCS is alive and Jingyan hides him in the palace with his consort/concubines to keep him on as an advisor without anyone objecting

AU where male/male marriage is customary (maybe aristocratic men are expected to have one male and one female consort?) and so MCS decides the best way to influence and help Jingyan in the capital is by becoming his wife or one of his concubines

anything just get them together and happy.

Promare

Requested characters: Galo, Lio

Why I like the canon: I love this film but I also find it to be… not enough? I wanted more character development, I wanted more plot, I wanted the goddamn Burnish to stay burning things. So I requested it because I want more! Please help me.

Why I like the characters: I love freedom fighter idealist Lio who will kick everyone’s ass for what is right. I love idiot idealist Galo who wants to fight all fires and learns to love exactly one fire. I think now that they aren’t saving the world by punching global warming, they should have a nice romance. I also like they points where they clash in the film, so I’d love to see them adjusting to “normal life” and having to deal with not having the crisis to make sure they get along.

Prompts:

Galo and Lio rebuilding the world together

Lio regaining Burnish powers?

AU where the Burnish are still a thing but it’s not a big crisis/battle and they just have normal jobs and there are integration programs and Lio is an angry Burnish teen and Galo volunteers at a community center helping Burnish control their powers. Like a world that’s more everyday X-Men than X-men in full adventure war mode.

This is the one request where I’d probably enjoy gen fic with lots of worldbuilding.

I would also enjoy lots of horny porn, preference for Galo topping with his giant stupid dick? I’m sorry I’m like this.

I do want to note ahead of time that I might be traveling (as in, possibly literally on a plane) when fics go live, so please do not be upset if I do not comment on the fic right away! But I definitely will! I know this can be a sore spot for authors so I wanted to give some warning. 

I think that is all! Thank you very much and I’ll see you at the end of all this.