#sorry for not going super in-depth on je lol

[sparky-is-spiders]

for the ask game: 15 & 28 👀

This... actually got a bit long lmao. Putting it under a cut.

(Send me deep/fun questions!)

15: No except yes. But also no. So like. I don't believe in jinxing. But also I sort of believe that if I say that something is/isn't going to happen (or even believe it), this will influence it to happen. Like if I say "I'm going to win this pvp fight in my shitty mobile game of the month" I will then lose the pvp fight in my shitty mobile game of the month. Unless I knock on wood (hit/tap it with my fist twice. And it CAN'T be three times because I don't like that number). If no wood is available I can also do the "touch red touch blue touch the bottom of your shoe" rhyme for jinxing from elementary school that I've almost certainly remembered wrong. I think I initially picked it up as like. A haha funnyquirky habit, but then NOT doing it made me genuinely anxious and I was like "oh maybe I should stop this now." I do still sort of do that tho. Like I'll think "I'm going to win this pvp fight in my shitty mobile game of the month" and then I'll go "no don't say/think that you don't know that for sure thinking/saying that is inviting the universe to sabotage you." And I know it's bullshit but that has yet to stop me. And that's my superstition.

28: Oh god. Tossup between Jon//elias and jon//sasha (I don't want this ask showing up in their tags so I'm censoring it lol. JE is what I'm currently hyperfixated on. My brain sunk its teeth into those two and Will Not let go. They're so fascinating and interesting but at the same time there's so much potential for Drama and above all else I Love Drama. It helps that I can project my Jon Obsession onto Elias because he IS straight up So Fucking Weird about Jon!!!!! And Jon is also sooooo fixated on him. They drive me crazy.

I don't (currently) have the same hyperfixation obsession on JS but I think they work so well like genuinely. Ok so there is a Sasha that exists in my head and I think she and Jon are soulmates in a "deeply similar" way and a "tied by the strings of fate" way and a "turning into the same monster" way. The idea of two people just slowly merging into one monster... like ok. They are the Same because they would both forget to drink their tea and then reheat it in the microwave. They are the Same because they are so curious and so driven to Know. They are the Same because they are both Perfect for the role of Archivist. Gonna be real I cannot take 90% of archivist Sasha AUs seriously for exactly this reason. It's literally always Sasha being boring and making all the "correct" decisions and also trying to set up J//mart because Of Course. You're telling me Sasha "I'm staying in my objectively dangerous job because I Need To Know" James, Sasha "seeks out other people's personal info for fun" James, Sasha "got two marks within thirty seconds of each other" James would save the world? No. Sasha would be just as "reckless" (read: desperate for info about the real terrifying and credible danger she is in) as Jon, maybe more so. She WOULD like being able to compel. She WOULD like getting invasive info about other people dumped in her brain. And she should have those things! She deserves them <3. Anyway I think the vibes of Jon and Sasha becoming the same monster (not them both becoming Archivists, but becoming THE Archivist), of them defending each other, covering up for each other, promising everyone else to do better, to keep the other in check, and then spiraling down the same path together, are IMMACULATE. There is also just a general appeal in someone who instantly Gets You. Who fully understands you. Actually this applies to both so New Paragraph <3.

Ok so my favorite shipping dynamic ever in general is "they know each other too well." It is having two (or more, but not many more) people who know each other on a deep, fundamental level. Who see the dark hidden crevices, the real face beneath every mask. Who understand each other better than they understand themselves. Who knows that their partner understands them just as well too. And it's messy, and sometimes unpleasant, and nobody else gets it. But when you observe them when it's only them, interacting when they think they're utterly alone, you learn things that crack your understanding of them apart. Seeing them interact and getting new insight into both of them, vulnerabilities they'd never reveal even in private. Which is probably why I'm so obsessed with outsider PoVs.

[dirtyhancls]

thoughts on the s&b show mostly because i want somewhere to put them all & i'm not going to stop hyperfixating on it until i do so

spoilers ahead

okay so just as a disclaimer i wanna say i DID enjoy it the first time around. i genuinely had a fun time watching and it was a little bit like being transported back to 2014 & reading the books for the first time so i'll give it that. as a standalone show for someone with no prior knowledge of the books i think it's probably pretty good. as someone for whom these books were like, a cornerstone of my middle/highschool reading experience (and whose url is literally dirtyhancls...) i have thoughts TM

like i said, i did genuinely enjoy it during my first watch through, it's just that the more i think about it and the more i think about the characterization the more upset i get so here we go. if you're not prepared to read quite a bit of criticism, then i suggest you not read this

first of all, fantasy racism - not great execution, but the problem is that the fundamental world building just does not stand up to any sort of examination and even ignoring the terribleness of the worldbuilding in the first place, the fantasy racism doesn't even make sense! there's no consistency! why is mal called slurs when they're kids but not when he's in the army? why is mal called slurs when jes isn't? why is alina always called out for being shu but botkin is now shu all of a sudden and it doesn't matter? (and that's not even touching on the whole fighting/kung fu master = asian thing happening with botkin). WHY would the crows ever care that alina is shu when they didn't give a fuck about kuwei? I seriously did not understand that bit at all. the fantasy racism only appears when it's relevant to alina being outcast and it's so transparent that they're doing this for like, diversity woke points and to give alina a sad backstory as if fantasy racism is enough to give her character depth. i hate it here

but also seriously, rice eater? we're really inventing fantasy slurs here? and that's the best you could come up with?

someone said that alina has no personality and like... lmfao sorry alina it's kind of true. the problem is that so much of her conflict is happening in her head about her insecurities but it's hard to translate to screen. so all we ever get about her is her relationship to mal. but also i do love jessie mei li as alina and that's all i'll ever have in my head anymore

they did right by mal in the show at least, i forgot how much i did love their dynamic. can't wait for season 2 for his character to be totally butchered -_-

on the darkling... it seems like they did try to be more explicit about how terrible he is, but the problem is also that they seriously nerfed his powers. kaz being able to escape with THE CUT with a flashbang and inej being able to throw a knife at him? like yay for them, but unreasonable and takes away from the threat of the darkling's power's, imo. isn't the whole point that alina has to give up her powers and almost her life to take him down in the end?

i still don't like nina/matthias BUT whoever the actress is for nina is seriously selling it. she is doing such a good job, i was almost convinced even though i desperately do not want to be convinced

alright time 2 strap in, onto the rest of the crows... i feel like i'm in a minority here but i genuinely do not like what they did to kaz and inej's characters.

first of all, the timelines for character development don't add up. why move up the development of the relationship between inej and kaz to this point in their relationship when it takes like 2 whole books for kaz to admit it to himself, and that's after they've worked together for years? it feels cheap and unearned to me. and worse, he's still paying off her indenture? he essentially owns her? and then he's spouting that investment line? i don't like it! it makes me so uncomfortable! and the racial dynamics don't help at all! i don't care what he says or anyone says about him treating her as an equal or whatever, because at the day he legally pretty much owns her. why did they have to do this?

and kaz is just so... meh in the show. he has none of the presence & menace that is so essential to his character. they took away all his viciousness & ruthlessness & cleverness until we're left with... this. everyone keeps calling him dirtyhands, bastard of the barrel, etc etc but it's not there, you can't just tell me that and not back it up with anything substantial. freddy carter mr english cowboy isn't the right person for kaz imo BUT i think they've also just shot themselves in the foot by trying to bring the crows to life because i think part of the problem is that kaz's figure & presence in the books is too large & looming to bring to life properly. part of why it works is the reputation of his monstrosity and when that's left up to the reader to think about and imagine for themselves, it's much more effective.

i also think that them dulling his character down probably has a lot to do with likeability & trying to build a general audience... it's hard to root for kaz when he's ripping people's eyeballs out. but then what's the point of his character anymore? the whole point is how he's had to become monstrous to survive in the barrel & in response to his trauma & thus is obsessed with his revenge but part of what's so compelling about his character is THAT juxtaposed with his obvious care for inej. the monster has a heart, after all. but if he's not monstrous in the first place, what's the point?

inej inej inej... the love of my life. i don't like what they've done to her religion and i don't like that she just. steps foot into the menagerie to have a civil conversation with tante heleen like it's nothing. part of what's compelling to me about her faith and about religion in general in books is the uncertainty-- the dedication and belief in something EVEN when you don't know it's true. So having inej see alina summoning and MEET her takes so much away from that for me. and i thought the whole inej's first kill going against her religion was at the very least an interesting moment for her character but it's dropped so quickly and never really explored beyond the moment in which it happens and all of a sudden she's killing more people. again, one of my favorite parts of her character is the way she's reconciled her faith with her actions and i would've liked to see more of that actual moral grappling but we just :/ don't get it

jesper! <3 i love him with all my heart and kit young is SO GOOD as jes. it's a different take on his character than i was expecting but at the very least kit young sells it. i really, really wanted more jes / inej bff moments. we got crumbs of it in crooked kingdom and we get more crumbs here but i honestly think they should've put that into the focus as opposed to kaz & inej. they should've just left kaz all mysterious and brooding lmao

easter eggs were fun haha. the sailor song especially- totally going to lose my head when nikolai shows up. i don't even remember anything about s&s or r&r apart from the fact that i adore him. and the hint that jes is a fabrikator! demolitions expert! i am being suckered and i kno it

oh and something that really fucking annoyed me - why make a big deal of them all splitting up when they just GET ON THE SAME BOAT afterwards. seriously, who thought this was a good thing to pull? i'm losing it

i'm trying to conjure up some of the more enjoyable moments lol. the dekappel, milo, the fact that mal basically becomes an honorary crow lmao, the heist. seriously even though i don't super love the show's version of the crows, i do think the show is riding on their shoulders. like it would've been a bit of a drag to have it just be the shadow and bone plot, so splitting it up was smart on the showrunners' parts. i just wish we had been given actual baby crows backstory like we were initially told as opposed to this