#sorry for giving you this much insight into my mind btw. i gotta kill you now

[emptylotfiasco]

i think a lot about the unstoppable march of time being a big theme in yakuza kiryu comes back ten years later to a world full of people thats completely moved on from him his brother hates him his love interest i just burny my hand on my cup oh my god. anyway yeah basically time marches on and fate does its thing ow ow ow. this is definitely amplified retroactively by yakuza 0 giving you this story about a guy whos gonna be a real yakuza star and his bond with his brother and sticking to their ideals and then cut to y1 kiryu has no standing nowhere to sleep basically nothing of his old life. but yeah i think the main thing is that this is a guy who is almost 40 years old who spent a decade of his life in prison and gave his life to an organisation and got nothing from it. and majima is also old old old and has nobody because his only family is a sworn brother whos waiting to get out of prison. hes 41 and he is not married and has no children and is giving his life to this organisation and he has been doing this for 17 years. really majima is a perfect yakuza he is a dangerous thug at the top of the ladder who does whatever the fuck he wants whenever he wants and even then all being a yakuza has ever done is chew him up and spit him out. kiryu is an exile who threw his name and criminal career and greatness down the shitter. his ideals and the path he follows make him a disgrace to their organisation and their ultraviolence lifestyle and make him a disgrace to majima who was gutted out in his pursuit of it and must constantly perpetuate it to have any kind of agency. okay what was i saying. these are not teenagers fooling around these are old men with empty existences at a collision point. who are fooling around

i gotta get my kazumaji thoughts together because i hate everyone

[inhalareexhalare]

Dianne Is so Awesome but She Might Freak If She Saw Me Post About That/Whatever the Hell Is Happening to Me

I managed to speak with more confidence over the phone with my boss, Dr. Seth. And then I initiated a long conversation with Ms. Dianne that lasted for almost an hour until my boss arrived so we each had to return to our work hahaha

So many stories! I admire her capacity to be patient with people and her capability to keep conversations bright without sacrificing her own feelings. She is driven to be truthful to people, and not just the if-I-am-asked kind; she has the initiative to tell you things that she feels bothered about in you, but with genuine compassion that you don’t feel attacked at all.

She knows how to balance yourself with other people. She knows how to balance teamwork with self-improvement. Most of all, she never allows an external, material, temporary thing to be a basis of motivation. She believes in having a real sense of purpose.

She is the kind of girl who lives in the company of people. She thrives in it.

I admire how she can balance the energy of a conversation (I made sure to let her know this). She doesn't extinguish the negative parts, but she balances it out with her own positive energy. Allowing other people to remember to heal themselves in the process. Spreading a remembrance of hope.She does all this, and she does it without knowing. I can tell she enjoyed trying to really answer why and how she does it.

I don’t have to thrive in it, but I’d like to be able to at least develop it as a skill, so I can also bring people up.

She believes in positive reinforcement, in motivating people to get better by themselves, rather than punishment that might work short-term but in the end kills what matters most.

That is true. I should do my best too.

2019-01-15 10:08 Philippines Friday

To Karu:

i have a letter for you and it contains a bigger perspective to whatever the hell it is that is happening to me

i'm so sorry

After sleeping alone two nights in a row, (the first night with my blood vessels boiling, figuratively, from who knows why, after Karu announced he’ll be away to a beautiful place) I just heard from him (he called me just now) and I felt so...cold. Like, dead cold. I was bitter. Monotone. Indifferent.

I can very easily tell you about my loneliness, reader, and although I won't expound on it I can very easily give some trusted friends a primer about it, but Karu is different. Somehow I feel so restrained to do that, and it's something I'm doing to myself.

I feel so desperate to hide it. It reminds me of how I maintain an icy poker face when others used to bully me (and gave up soon enough because I was indifferent). Is Karu a bully to me? I don't think so. But it's there. The fear of revealing more than I am comfortable to.

So here’s what I found out, in letter form for Karu to read (o my lord i am so sorry you ended up with a person like me who has low understanding of her own emotions):

Why am I so bitter to you

when we speak?

It’s like I don’t want to show

the loneliness inside me

in front of you

I fully enjoy everything

else that is happening

but your voice reminds

me too much of something that I long for

and, in self-dialogue, the second part:

that makes sense.

bitter is a plant

that is taken cared of poorly

but you’re not a plant, are you?

you’re the number one care you have

so be okay with being lonely

be kind to yourself

water yourself as often as necessary

you don’t need to fear yourself 

anymore

Also me, to Karu:

(he needs help to prepare gig clothes for tomorrow, so i’m probably the one available to do just that. he also said he’d be there with me tonight, but even that possibility is something i’m avoiding right now. i’m too scared to hope when i’m on bitter/sulk mode.

 i usually enjoy doing stuff for him but i’m still transitioning from feeling bitter... it takes work. i won’t give up!)

is it oki if [lobo] gets some snack later? i know it's not good to indulge but i might get pissy and stuff doing laundry and getting pissed for no reason haha

From Karu:

Yassss! Although the only thing that needs manual washing is the white button down

To Karu:

unless i get too lazy to bring laundry bags to the laundry shop of course hahaha i honestly think that's more likely to happen XD

my sulky mode needs a lot of working on, and i won't give up, so that might change but this is my mood right now haha still trying to transition properly

From Karu:

It's okay. I can take the stuff to the shop. If I get home early, I should also be able to cook

[Karu] gonna take care of sulky [Lobo]

Will gib hugs toooooo

  To Karu:

:< thanks

From Karu:

It all gud. I just have to get home hahaha 

That’s exactly the hope I’m avoiding right now I’ll just let him read this entry later...

From Karu (cont’d):

Do we haz laundry funds?

[Karu] is gonna get paid tomorrow ehehe

We will also try to start surviving on 200 pur dei

To Karu:

yes

okiii

From Karu:

Awesome heeheehee

Pork steak, yes?

To Karu:

....*•-•* nod

To be honest, I only ever use this awkwardly-self-made-but-too-accurate emoji with Karu. My poker face has zero capability to do this face (or any other emotional face) but the feeling tends to only apply to Karu.

From Karu:

I'll go see if we can go that route today  If not, I'll just think of something else hahaha

Upper limit for food is 250 and lower limit is 150. So I guess we eat less now when we get carinderia food hahaha

Lez get you some art materials and get me some goddamn lessons and yaw yan

Would you like some paint to play with?

Oh fuck I gotta change my strings soon btw. Maybe April or June :)

To Karu:

let's find pout i guess. eating less will probably help me appreciate food more. anything in excess makes us feel sick.

Yaw Yan's good.

painting materials are crazy expensive though

From Karu:

Pout?

To Karu:

out

punintended

freudian slip

lof yu

From Karu:

We can save up for art stuff :)

To Karu:

morp

I notice that Karu isn’t using the “:))” today. Change of brain?

or maybe it’s just the mood.

I’m stopping here, it seems to be irrelevant now lol

2019-01-15 10:50 Philippines Friday

Feeling these things, I was about to do a last-minute ditch a.k.a. escape from my (previously initiated) informal lunch date with the big group of secretaries today, until Dianne reached out her hand to me.

She actually didn’t, but I swear, that was what it was like to me. All she did, really, was beckon. I don’t even think she did it consciously/purposefully. But that. That evaporated all the doubt that I had left of joining them for lunch. 

Her hand in my mind, reaching out for mine. And I took it.

It is good to have good friends. She knows a little about my social anxiety since I told her about it this morning to celebrate and explain my celebration, of my progressing confidence in front of Dr. Seth.

That was what led to us having a long conversation. Halfway, I was almost losing attention, but I willed it on. It was just my fear that was trying to pull me out.

And I made it okay. We made it okay. Her hand, my hand.

I can’t give up now.

This is also training so I can reach out to people who might have similar struggles as myself.

2019-01-15 13:49 Philippines Friday

Aaand he's not home.

Well, I expected as much. It still stings a little though.

It seems he forgot it's Friday again. I get out of work an hour earlier than usual every Friday.

Actually, I don't even think he's coming for dinner tonight. I'm tired.

Guess I'm getting my own food and doing the laundry, then play some mind fucking games later. That should prep me up for tomorrow's story writing.

2019-02-15 18:04 Philippines Friday

Then again, life is only filled with uncertainties.

If I can't even embrace this, I've no right to pursue something as weird as psychology.

(Though I'd only apply this mindset to myself. Tough love works with myself most of the time. If it's my own voice HAHA I'm such a prideful creature.)

Speaking of psychology, what if I happen to unconsciously use Karu at this point in time as a hiding place from myself? My bitter/sulk mode as well as my nighttime separation anxiety are both based on fear of being alone to myself.

Alone with my thoughts. My ultimate chaos. My infantile order. I can't escape order for too long and hide in my mess of chaos. Order is in order. It won't do to just have chaos. I have to systemically know myself.

I didn't know Karu before, but I already had these things a long time ago. I always knew it never was Karu's fault or mistake, but could this be something closer to the truth?

I truly love him, but sometimes I feel weir. Maybe in those "sometimes," I use the warmth of our togetherness as a form of escapism.

Remember the letter I wrote earlier today?

"You don't need to fear yourself anymore."

The last line. I was worried at first that it didn't fit in my poem, especially that my head and hand just sort of spat it out there unconsciously. I seriously considered whether to delete it,

but I couldn't.

A slip of the pen?

I feel like I am closer to my personal truth. If you feel or think though, reader, that something's amiss or inconsistent with my observations and analysis, by all means please share your insight.

For now, I'll keep note of this.

To begin with, when I first was infatuated with Karu, my intention was just all him. He interested me very much. He is my first love. (I'm really lucky to be with someone as willing and patient as him. He isn't patient at all for most things, but he is when it matters.) (I always had a hard time being in love with others. I was indifferent a lot before. I had a sexual crush on my adopted older brother at age 5, and then a mutual crush with a high school close friend that I turned down because I got bored when he confessed. I know, I'm fucked up. But those are tales for another day.) Annnyway. And then I transitioned into the kind of sober love, where it felt like a deep ocean where my infatuation before was just a puddle.

But it never changed the fact that my intention was to make him happy. To love him. To give him affection, attention, and care.

I mean, who enters a relationship thinking, "I want to be with you to become a better person."

NO ONE does! But we all should!

With the all-for-the-other mindset we have, we risk destroying ourselves and even the other in the process.

It's all very romantic and courageous and admirable to have so much passion in caring for another, but forgetting yourself is setting both of you up in a pretty ugly loop.

Point is, getting into any kind of relationship just so you could celebrate not being alone anymore... Sends quite an important message.

You're uncomfortable with being alone with yourself.

You are who you end up with until the end of your life. Might as well learn to love this self.

It's important to take care of your social life, but you need to be doing it for the right reasons.

But don't worry, and don't punish yourself. It wastes time. When you find yourself in misalignment, reconfigure, and start over.

It's never too late, as long as you have breath and you have mind.

Stay Alive, everyone! Never stop learning.

I have feelings. That are unpleasant. That I look for other things that might take it away. But they're never taken away. Only hidden.

It's only now I realize (again), I've been trying to banish something important in me. These unpleasant feelings were treated poorly by myself. I didn't give them enough time. I'm too impatient, too afraid.

But now I remember. To let things go, you've got to let them in first.

Change usually involves more of involvement rather than stepping back.

And besides, learning to be comfortable with who you really are? I'd think that's the true, real love.

2019-02-15 19:13 Philippines Friday

I got to open up a bit about how I am sad to Karu last night.

Also, it's been a while, so I knew he was bursting. I helped him release.

Of course, that made it easy to thaw my ice. But I'd like to be able to learn how to show him more of my loneliness with more willingness.

[stargleeksil-blog]

Criminal Minds s05e13 “Risky Business” review - or more aptly named, the episode where Penelope shines and we learn more about JJ and it’s both amazing and heartbreaking

Episode 13 – Risky Business

Hey guys! So last episode was a wower, because it showed us that even the scariest unsubs can be actual victims, and it showed how truly amazing Spencer is and I love him so freaking much.

Okay, let’s see what happens.

Uh-oh. Teenagers. This can’t be good.

Birdie!

What are they doing? Oh god, please no.

Oh dear fuck. Oh my goodness fucking gracious.

FUCK!

WHY?

“But the previous Friday, two more boys a few towns over were found hanging on the backs of their doors.”

Wait. Four suicides in the same rural county in a week? WHAT?

“When someone feels trapped in what feels like a hopeless situation, pulling the trigger or swallowing pills or hanging yourself seems like the only way out.”

“None of that seems to exist here.”

“Something’s really wrong.”

Is this more insight into JJ’s past? YAY!

Oh god, this is another bad one. I don’t like it.

Mother Teresa: “Life is a game. Play it. Life is too precious. Do not destroy it.”

Powerful.

“Sir, it’s not that I’m not glad to be coming with you, because I am. I just don’t understand the why.”

Oh my cutie is coming in on the case XDDDDDDDD

Yay!

Just made my day.

“Our victims are all internet generation kids.”

Yup.

“There should be invaluable personal data on their computers to mine for the evaluation.”

“If they committed suicide, evidence of it will probably be in their cyber world.”

Oh dear.

“So I’m gonna snoop through dead kids’ computers?”

Oh my honey.

“This plane seldom makes pleasure trips.”

Oh my honeys.

“Sometimes a suicidal person, in the days leading up to the act, will just blurt out ‘I love you’ to family, sort of like a goodbye.”

Wait. Someone she knew committed suicide? Oh my baby angel.

“Sensationalizing these deaths may cause a domino effect with other kids.”

Yup.

“Is there a good place for me to set up?”

“Don’t have much of a command center.”

“Oh, fret not. I got my own command center. I just need your juice.”

Yup. My baby is all prepped.

Wait. Did JJ just say ‘If your daughter committed suicide,”? Uh-oh.

“I knew he didn’t kill himself. He wouldn’t do that to us.”

Wait what?

To you? Seriously?

“I’m sorry?” the FBI doesn’t investigate suicides?

“That’s not exactly true. Sometimes we do what’s called an equivocal death investigation to figure out the manner of death.”

Oh dear.

“Our investigation will try and sort it all out for you.”

Oh my goodness, his gravelly voice here is doing things to me.

Damn it. Nothing that would lead to suicide on either kid. Fuck.

Definitely something going on here.

“Where’s Ryan’s computer?”

Wait. Hold up. He didn’t have a laptop? That’s odd.

Smart parents.

“If you just get us the network IP address, I believe our technical analyst can go over it offsite.”

You bet your sweet hiney she can.

“Hey, you ready to delve into Trish Leake’s online world?”

“If by ready you mean extremely capable and even more reluctant.”

Oh honey.

“Well, that’s weird.”

“What?”

Yeah, what?

“There’s nothing here.”

“Nothing useful?”

“Nothing at all.”

What?

“I didn’t say empty, I said appears to be blank.”

“Meaning?”

“I’m gonna need a little while.”

Ruh-roh.

“I got it!”

You know it.

“It was just a basic Trojan horse. It just hid the directories, didn’t erase them.”

Awesome.

“Oh god.”

Oh no.

“She was on a choking game site the night she died.”

A what now???

So I just googled it. And turns out it was a real thing that happened all over … oh my god, thank you guys for addressing the seriousness of stupidity of people. Oh my freaking goodness, who would want to do that to themselves intentionally?

“It’s a game kids play where they choke themselves to get a buzz, to get high.”

“They call it the good kids’ game. You get lightheaded and a sense of euphoria even though no actual drugs are involved.”

“It’s something kids in high school play.”

Oh dear.

“Did Ryan have a computer?”

“Not in his room.”

“What about a gaming system?”

“Yeah, he did.”

Oh boy.

So my lovely can get into the gaming system via the IP address. You lovely brainiac.

“Bingo. Ryan was on the same site on the same night.”

“It wasn’t suicide.”

Fuck.

“Hang on, this is a text to voice icon. Let’s see what happens.”

Oh boy.

Fuck. Someone dared the kids to do this? Oh my goodness.

“There’s a whole subculture around this game. They make up names for it, they do it at parties.”

Oh god, I’m about to be sick.

“But someone is daring these kids in this area to play the game.”

“It’s a contest. And there are rules.”

Oh dear lordy.

“Diss – sounds like kids.”

Yup.

“Doing it alone requires ligatures.”

Fuck.

“Garcia, shut the side down.”

“Sir, I can totally do that, but I don’t think you want me to.”

What?

“Why?”

“Right now this site is our only way to track the unsub, and if I cut into it, he will certainly know we’re watching him, in which case he’ll shut it down, and he’ll write a simple change in code, bring it back up in a more covert fashion.”

Oh boy.

“Plus there’s no telling how many servers it’s replicated on anyway.”

“You’re right.”

Of course she is.

Fuck. This is awful.

“In real life, he considers himself a loser. In cyberspace, he can pull strings. Makes him feel powerful.”

Oh god.

So now they have to warn the kids? Oh dear, this is going to be hard.

Oh honey, you’re trying to explain it scientifically? Oh dear. This is not going togo over well.

Oh my god, supervising Derek in a classroom. I love this!

“Hey, kid. Not a good idea. Let me see it.”

Ha. And he’s FBI, so he has to do as Derek asks. XD

“What planet is this dude from?”

Oh my god, I just died.

So mean.

“He doesn’t want us to win the context.”

“I think the more accurate statement would be, ‘he doesn’t want us to participate in the contest at all.’”

Amen to that.

I love how the minute he personalizes the case, everyone starts listening to my poodle.

Smart.

“All because he wanted to participate in what I consider to be a pretty … pretty lame game.”

Yup.

“Your text is actually completely accurate. I don’t want you to win the contest, because I don’t want you to play the game.”

“You all believe this crap?”

Oh boy.

“You don’t?”

“Why don’t you come up here and tell us what you think.”

Oooh, he just called up to the front of the class by Morgan.

DAMN.

Ha. He just totally ran out of the classroom. GUILTY!

I’m sorry, but watching Derek chasing a kid down a high school is the funniest thing ever. And it shouldn’t be, but it is to me. Sorry.

Wait. Is Shemar straddling a kid? Oh god. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it sound like that, but that’s essentially what’s going on here, right?

“You okay?”

My poodle is asking Derek if he’s okay? Oh god.

“Morgan, look at his neck.”

Oh dear. What’s that?

“Let me look at your neck.”

“Relax.”

Okay. I like this angle.

Fuck. He’s been strangled for a long time. Fuck.

I want to be that cup.

Wait. The Sheriff knows the dad? Oh dear.

“Actually, I’m not that type of doctor. I’m with the FBI.”

Oops.

“Your son needs to go in for some tests”

Well, that’s never good.

Did he just take a USB drive out of the laptop?

It’s the dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“When bad things happen to us, we get frustrated, kid.”

Oh my honeys trying to get him to talk.

And it’s not working.

“This Christopher kid is fantastical. He’s got a segmented hard drive, serious firewalls, major league encryption.”

Wow.

“No reason for all that unless he’s hiding something serious.”

Yup.

“This is … growl … unusual.” Wait what?

“Every attack I launch is shot down immediately.”

What?

How come?

“What’s that?”

“Somebody just uploaded a new video to the game site.”

Fuck.

“Guys, I’m gonna keep dead-ending on this until I get a beat on how he set up his security system.”

You work your magic, baby girl.

“Hope you got a plan B.”

Fuck.

“Garcia, I think that this kid will relate to you better than anybody else.”

Wait, what now?

“I want you to talk to him, see if you can get him to open up.”

Oh boy.

“Sir, I have never done that before. What if I mess up?”

Oh my honey.

“You’ll be fine.”

Yes, she will.

“Hi there. I’m Penelope.”

Why you gotta be rude, dick?

“Can I sit down?”

“You’re the cop.”

Ha! She? A cop?

“Um, I look like a cop to you?”

“FBI tech analyst.”

Yup.

“I just have some administrative cyber crud to go over with you.”

Oh, she’s cute.

“Just a geekette.”

Aw, honey.

“You are glum.”

Ain’t that the truth.

“Time is a great healer.”

Is it?

“I lost my mom and my dad when I was about your age, though.”

Oh my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, see … now they’re talking cyber geek, and I’m not fluent. So apologies.

“BTW, I like your nails.”

Oh god.

“You into goth?” “You know, I don’t think I’m supposed to anymore …”

“But the love is still there.”

I love this lady.

“So you’re FBI?”

“Yeah, I know, it’s crazy, but I love it.”

“I enjoy your earring, too.”

I love this woman.

“She’s good. Established rapport when Morgan and Reid couldn’t.”

Yup. I love her.

“Your whole PGP disc encryption system is like crazy impressive.”

Sure, I guess ... I have no bucking idea what she just said, but okay.

“I am jealous.”

What?

“That is state-of-the-art technology the feeb does not have.”

REALLY?

Wow.

He’s good.

“How did you get your anonymizing service?”

He just downloaded it? Whoa.

I just think it’s uber cool how you set your whole system up.”

“Like how you use an e-shredder to obliterate your net activity and a window wiper as your secondary trash eraser.”

Okay, I’m not a tech geek, but even I can tell that is impressive beyond belief.

“Who does that?”

Everybody. Yeah right, I don’t.

“The interview’s over.”

Frack. They blew her cover.

Oh my honey.

She just totally got busted for using him.

“Syl, miss P.”

Cute.

I got that XD

“Sir, I’m sorry, I tried.”

Are you kidding me? She was amazing!!!!!!!!!!

Did he just give her his earring? Whoa.

Crap. Four videos in half an hour? Oh god, this is sick.

“There was something pathetic about him, not criminal.” Huh?

Boom. Password’s his mom’s name. Got it.

She shut the site down. Awesome.

“Kids are still posting videos through independent servers.”

Shit.

“Pull up the website history. See if you can learn anything from historical posts.”

Awesome.

“Christopher’s ER eval shows his bruises were caused by manual and ligature strangulation over time.”

Wait. What now? Manual? Oh lordy.

Wait. So he changes his wording? That’s odd.

“That’s pretty sophisticated behavior for a kid.”

Damn straight. I was a dumdum when I was that age. Compared to my genius now.

“A writer can disguise his own writing style to make himself appear younger or less educated.”

True.

“Yeah, but it’s virtually impossible to make yourself appear older and more educated than you actually are.”

Yup. Definitely.

“Christopher was being manipulated by an adult.”

DUH.

I knew it was the dad. Fuck.

“He’ll find a place to download the videotapes. They’re his trophies.”

Ew.

“You need to see this.”

Oh dear.

“When his father came in the room, he seemed genuinely relieved.”

“His burden had been lifted.”

Why?

“We need to rethink everything.”

Oh boy.

Crap. The kid’s going to kill himself. Shit.

“The father’s going to want to download those videos somewhere, Garcia, and we got to stop that process.”

“Already on that. I replaced the website with a phishing site.”

Oh she’s good.

“When he logs onto that website, he’s going to be rerouted to our server, and we can capture his information.”

I’m in love with this woman.

“You know, for Christopher, a cemetery would be a place of refuge, but for the father …”

“He’s revisiting a body disposal site.”

Oh my god, that is sick.

She’s got him.

“Is he downloading the videos?”

“He’s trying to, but all he’s going to get is snow.”

I love this lady.

Please tell me they get there in time to save the kid.

Fuck.

Oh thank goodness.

“What is that?”

“It’s called a star puzzle.”

“It’s basically impossible to figure out. You have to put all of the pieces back together to form a perfect star.”

I’m crap at those.

Oh my god, my baby knits! Could she be any more perfect?

“The origin of it is kind of a romantic tale.”

“There was this young prince who wanted to win the heart of the fairest maiden in the land, so he climbed to the top of the tallest tower in the kingdom, and he caught a falling star for her.”

Story time with Emily Prentiss!

“Unfortunately, he was so excited, he dropped it, and it smashed into all of these pieces, so he frantically put it back together again to prove his undying love, and he succeeded, and they lived happily ever after.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

Oh god, Reid.

“What do you mean?”

“You can’t catch a falling star.”

Oh boy.

“It would burn up in the atmosphere.”

Well, yeah, but …

“Yeah, but it’s not literal, Reid. It’s a fable.”

“But there’s no moral.”

Oh honey.

“Fables have morals.”

“Okay. So it’s just a romantic little story.”

“And the point is, it’s basically impossible to do because you have to take all of these pieces and put them together exactly …”

Reid, you little shit, I love you so much.

“There’s a lot to hate about you, Dr. Reid.”

“Play poker with him sometime.”

“Try playing chess with him.”

“Or Go.”

I LOVE MY SUPERHEROES SO MUCH!

Oh my god, so JJ’s sister killed herself and she was the last person to ever talk to her? Oh my god, my heart is just ripping right now. Why end the episode like this you assholes?

C.S. Lewis: “Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My god, do you learn.”

Okay, so this episode was all over the map for me. First off, I’m so glad they addressed something like The Choking Game, because it is seriously horrendous and I wasn’t aware of this and apparently I’ve been living under a rock. Second, this episode featured Penelope in a very important way, meaning she wasn’t just the little ray of sunshine but an invaluable part of the team, and it was glorious. Also, we learned about JJ’s dark past and I just want to hug her and tell her it’s alright and that she’s my little snow angel.

Overall, this show is just getting better and better and I cannot wait to see what else it has in store.