#sorry for cutting down theos monologue

[chippdhearts]

The Haunting of Hill House Parallels 1x08 // 1x09

[inksoakedparchment]

Theodore Nott misunderstood Y/N’s words

pairing: theo x fem!reader (slytherin house)

genre: fluff

tw: my english

word cunt (ik it’s count): 1073

summary: theo found your notebook in the library after the study session and he read through it

a/n: this is my first one shot (and work) in english, so i’m sorry for the bad grammar<3 (maybe it’s gonna be good bc @sunkissedscribbles read it and corrected it)

After the study session with your friend group, - Theo, Mattheo, Enzo and Cassiopeia - you accidentally forget your notebook on the table as you hurriedly leave before the others. After that, Theo notices the little black book and decides to take it.

He quickly goes to his dorm, hops on his bed and starts to read your 'diary'. Because of some of your poems, one-line-long deep thoughts, tears start running down his cheeks. He doesn’t realize how those salty water drops are just coming and coming from his eyes. It only hits him after one falls on one of the pages.

He’s raising his eyebrows after he sees the lots of cat drawings in the notebook, and the short monologues based on how much you like cats and how bad you'd like to have one. Especially black cats. He immediately shuts the book and leaves it on his bed, running out of the castle.

He knows where the stray cats are 'living' so he sits down in the grass, with treats in his hand, waiting for the adorable creations to approach him. He’s drowning in his thoughts while feeding the baby and adult cats when a night-black cat snuggles against his leg. Theo’s eyes lighten up when he notices it and gently picks it up and when the cat looks in his eyes, he gasps. Gorgeous green eyes just like Y/N’s. He checks, and he thinks the cat is a girl. Keeping the cat in his hands, he stands up and walks back into the castle, straight to your dorm.

“Yeah? Come in!” you shout from your bed when you hear the knock on your door, then sit up with a book in your hands.

“Hey, it’s me” Theo smiles at you gently, after he closes the door behind him.

“What’s up, Theo?” you tilt your head with a confused expression, seeing his nervous look.

Theo starts biting his lip, then he takes out the cat under his robe, watching your reaction. Your eyes widen in shock while you jump up from the bed, and approach Theo and that little baby.

“It's a girl,” Theo says softly.

“Wh-What? How? From where?” you start to caress her. She purrs under your touch, wanting to climb over to your hands, and he lets the kittie to you.

“I know a place that’s full of stray cats,” he smiles with an amazed look.

You put - now - your baby on your bed and hug Theo tightly, holding into his robe, because he’s the one who can make you smile anytime, even when you’re at your worst. You start to sob and then burst out in a heavy cry.

“Y/N? Did I do something wrong?” he gently pushes you away and puts one hand on your cheek, wiping away your tears.

“No, of course not. It’s just.. no one did something this big to me, but.. how did you know? It’s my biggest dream,” you mutter the last line.

“I found your notebook and I swear I wanted to give it back, but something made me keep it and read it and-”

“What?!” you cut him off “You read my notebook which is actually my diary?” you step back from him.

“I swear i didn’t wanted to, Y/N, please..” his voice cracks.

“No, Theo! Those are my personal thoughts and feelings, you just read everything! You read me!” you say hysterically.

How could he do this to you? You thought he was your best boy friend, he was always by your side. He got your back when the others couldn’t do it. He saved you from many detentions and...

“Why did you bring her to me?” you ask quietly.

“Because-” the words stuck in Theo’s throat, as he is staring into your soul. His greyish-blue eyes are full of fear and guilt. “Because I love you Y/N” he looks away, fidgeting with his fingers.

“Wha-” you gasp and look at the kittie who’s watching you two maybe with curiosity in her eyes.

“I love you Y/N! I‘ve loved you since fourth year!” he bursts out when you’re still silent.

“Why? Why didn’t you say something?” you shake your head in disbelief.

“Would it have meant anything?” he swallows, looking into your eyes.

“You said you read my notebook, Theo! What the fuck are you thinking about my poems where I wrote about love? Didn’t you notice all of them about you?” your face becomes pale when you realize you have just admitted your feelings for him.

“They looked like they were all about Mattheo” he bites his lip nervously. “He loves to smoke, mostly when I light his cig./Why didn’t he notice that’s the only spark I can give him?” these two lines are burnt into his mind. You’re smiling now. He's noted two lines from your favourite poem. Fun fact; these lines are your favourites too.

“I always light your cig last. Because you always light mine with yours,” you sigh. “And I'm always next to you, Theo because I feel safe when you’re around, and when I’m with you it feels like home,” you step closer to him and take his hand, stroking it with your thumb.

“I never noticed it,” he says quietly, squeezing your hand a little.

“I love you too, Theo. And Apollonia means a lot to me,” you smile and kiss his cheek, right after that he blushes

“I love you, Y/N. I mean it. But who’s Apollonia?” he looks at you with a confused expression.

“The kittie” you roll your eyes with a smile.

Theo takes his chance and slides his hand on your cheek. He leans closer and when he gently presses his lips to yours, you immediately kiss him back. He brushes your lip with his tongue, begging for permission to meet your tongue for a sweet, slow dance, which you quickly give to him. In this kiss, you two are going through every sweet moment, every shared cig, the pain that you caused each other while staying silent about your feelings and the love that you two feel.

He leans his forehead to yours with a sweet smile.

“I’m only yours Cara Mia, and I’ll do everything I can to make you happy” he kisses your forehead.

You smile at him and gently pull him to your bed, where Apollonia is curled up, asleep. You two are just cuddling and talking about the signs that the other didn’t notice.

[lilyrachelcassidy]

Birthday Cake

A/N: Suprise folks!!! *me laughing maniacally* The whole scenery for this fic somehow appeared in my head and I just COULDN’T let it slip away, so... My biggest inspo for that was @drawlfoy!! Remember her posting the fic where Draco and Reader work at McDonald’s and are total suckers in their job (arguing with the customers; preparing wrong orders; etc.)? Dee unfortunately, deleted this precious, but it’s stuck to my head ever since (lol lol, it’s the moment where Dee wants to get rid of something, but I kindly remind everyone it existed). Therefore I present to you the next Draco x Reader fic related to our fav fast-food rest. This time, however, they’re not working at the same workplace but... I'm going to stop here cuz I don't want to spoiler :P

**The second thing that triggered me to write this fic is the YouTube video I recently saw with a lady who orders the 'specials' appearing to be out of the menu list of McDonald’s, through the Drive-Through. She asked for a birthday cake, was laughed at a few times, but eventually got what she wanted. Applause for the attitude!!

About the fic (context, my bitches): ofc it’s the modern AU, non-magical world. Draco’s the worst boyfriend ever but always manages to turn things into their righteous place. 

Summary: The birthday is upcoming, and Draco is in a rush to think up an idea for a perfect gift. His ingenuity fails, however, and leaves Y/N very unsatisfied with a disaster that has been forged. 

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: my brain playing a total psycho, language, alcohol, sexual undertones/allusions to sex, Pansy being too much of her self... deal...

Tags: @drawlfoy @eltanin-malfoy

Such an unrestrained desire to strangle somebody you hadn't felt in a long time.

Really.

Today was your birthday, which you had been widely announcing for almost a whole month to people you might have accidentally forgotten about it. Having your boyfriend, Draco, on your mind in particular.

You doubted he would have the guts to omit your big day, though as repeatedly as he had done for a few years back. But something between foresight and the second sense of prevention told you to keep reminding him every day of the upcoming event, with a heap of birthday-themed emojis and uppercases in the messages.

Everything was planned out in your head: him picking you up from your house with the sharp-red cabriolet that he used only for special occasions; him driving the two of you to the fanciest restaurant he could find in town; him bestowing you with a nice-looking, golden necklace or a different piece of jewelry you had been suggestively pointing out in the store's exhibition; him booking up a hotel room for you two to celebrate.

Either way, that was much beyond your expectations, as it turned out. And now you were sitting in the front yard of your house, waiting for him to show up.

'If he was going to at all.' This thought invaded your mind for the last hour, try as might to subdue it. An hour you had been sitting tight, hoping it was only a delay caused by a traffic jam or other irrational explanation he could come up with. But you were deceiving yourself, you eventually presumed -- you had been checking up your phone every one minute, only to see if any message notification popped up on the screen, other than birthday wishes from friends who actually cared for you.

2.02pm: Nothing.

2.03pm: Susan 'Happy birthday bitch!'

2.04pm: Instagram notif. (Someone liked your photo, which you had posted before leaving your room, posing in front of the mirror in the best cocktail dress you could find in the wardrobe.)

2.05pm: Nothing yet again.

2.06pm: Still... Peace and quiet.

"Fuck it...Enough," you muttered under your breath, an annoying disillusionment falling like a heavy mile stone on your chest. Tears suddenly started sprinkling in your eyes at the regret, and you were very reluctant to admit that your friends were right -- Draco Malfoy was an egoistic, negligent, self-absorbed pri--

"Hi." You heard the raspy, panting voice says. "Sorry for the delay."

You blinked slowly, stupidly. You raised your head to assure yourself it was him. That his expression actually corresponded to his words and showed some kind of remorse for standing you up. But no... There he was: standing in front of you, plainly confident and unashamed, with his cocky smirk provoking you to slap him.

Oh, how much you craved to slap him right now. "Where to the fuck have you been?"

"I've tried to pick this up," he explained, simultaneously lifting up the paper bag he'd been carrying in his hand. The big, exclaiming letters 'McDonald's' with the brand's logo were printed on its exterior, and it was fully stuffed with something inside.

Not quite comprehending, you furrowed. You attempted to hide the venom in your voice, but somehow it found its way to leak out. "Couldn't you do that in advance?"

"Nope..." It was his turn to furrow, looking almost shocked with the question. And thanks to all those years of your relationship, you knew it was his piss-poor estimation of time taking over. "It was a last-minute surprise."

"Sounds like it," you commented irritably. "What's that?"

"Your birthday present, sunshine," he drawled happily, ignoring your remark. He sounded positively delighted and satisfied with himself at surprising you with that because he saw a slight crease of shock painting on your forehead. "Here you go."

You took his deposit out of his grasp, still quite unsure. What if his gift would only make a situation worse? Can it get any worse with Draco's total lack of tact? Yes. But it was only one way to find out.

Without even stealing a second glance at him, you ripped off all of the packaging that had been folded around, protecting the contents. You tried to do it carefully and without any impact of emotions revealing the way you felt inside, but your hands were shaking with rage, and you couldn't quite contain yourself. You had been highly aware you shouldn't have expected much from him, but still...

You wondered if the universe was playing against you.

There was a moment of tense silence as you struggled to deal with all the wrappings. Rather unfortunately, you wished you hadn't put so much effort in opening your so-called 'gift' because as you finally did, it only angered you more, seeing as the disappointment laughs at your face. And yes, as a matter of fact, the universe was against you today...

"Are you kidding me?" you asked in disbelief, fury reappearing in your eyes. "A birthday cake?! From McDonald's?" Ugly, little cake with the creepiest smiley face of a clown. It wasn't even fresh, you realized, when you smelled it and felt a musty reek of a freezer, it probably had been kept in. A confusing sense of sadness in your chest couldn't reach any higher at this point.

"Don't you like it?" he asked, detecting the wrath in your eyes. At that, you felt the dumbest urge to laugh and never stop. "I thought it'd be something original."

"Oh, I love it," you said sarcastically, a faint voice of hope telling you it was only a very bad joke was still lingering in your head. But it wasn't a joke.

"It's not just--" He struggled to form a coherent sentence. "I've been asking Blaise and Theo about any ideas. I told them, what you had said to me -- 'you didn't want anything fancy.' So we decided it's... something."

"Of course I didn't tell you I want anything, you dolt!" Your voice raised up almost two octaves, and the pulse sped up so fast it entailed a headache along. A neighbor from the opposite garden who was watering the flowers looked at you, startled, and eyes widened your exasperated tone. You didn’t care. "It's how it works: you don't tell other people you expect them to buy something!"

"But I'm your boyfriend. You shouldn't -- er-- feel uncomfortable to tell..."

"Exactly! As my boyfriend, you should have known!"

"Well... I didn't. If that's what's bothering you, we can...we can..."

"Stop." Listening to him and his pathetic excuses was the last thing you were going to do now. "What – why would you even – " You sputtered out, unable to process or express exactly what you were feeling. There was definitely anger and indignation. Curiosity, for another, as to why Draco would even fall for such foolish and ill-considered idea, and -- to the top of it -- hope it would make a good fit. And possibly, the last and most satisfying part, was the wicked impulse to throw the cake directly into his arrogant face, letting him taste his own medicine he had been serving you for years on each failed birthday.

"You know, for once, you could pay more effort and try doing something nice for me," you told him firmly, deflating to calm down your buzzing nerves.

"I've been tr--"

"Do you realize how much it costs me to pretend to be happy when you forget about me? Last year, I organized a big-ass party for your birthday, inviting over all of your friends and buying the best booze I could find to celebrate it properly," you said harshly and pretentiously, as you intended. "The best part is, you didn't even thank me." You stared at him, wringing your hands and expecting to perceive any trope of shame in his eyes. For the first time, you actually did.  

"Listen, about that--" he calmly attempted to cut off your monologue.

"No, you listen..." Did you really want what was upcoming next? Maybe it was about time. "Today, I decided I'm standing up for myself. So, for the last time, get out from my porch."

He bristled, the thunderstruck air hanging around him. "Because of the stupid cake?"

"What?! No! It's just... I feel like you don't give a damn about me anymore." Gulp formed in your throat, and the tears finally left your eyes at the consciousness of what was happening. "I think we both deserve some time."

Your eyes moved to his, and you almost wished you hadn't looked. He was watching you, with pursed lips and a pure mixture of every emotion: anger, sadness, resentment, pretension, dejection. The faintest of his flustered blushes appeared on his cheeks, and you suddenly wished you could hug him. "So you are putting us..." His finger pointed at him and you as if expecting clarification. "...on a break? Is that what it is?"

You were truly torn, to be honest. Becoming single on your birthday was the last wish you had for this day, but you felt a strong sense of adequacy and pride for building up the boundaries of tolerance. Besides, seeing as it was heading nowhere, it was only a matter of time that your relationship came to an end.  

Although, it hurt. A lot. "Yes."

You darted your eyes from him, not wanting to study his reaction in case it caused you to meltdown and jump to his embrace, apologizing endlessly for your words. You loved him. But you didn't regret what you had just said.

Something like a dry chuckle of disbelief escaped out of his mouth. "Is that what you really want?"

'No,' your thoughts prompted you instantly before you could even contemplate. 'I want you to say so many things you're never willing to say. But you don't know.'

So instead, you lied: "Yes."

All expressed, you spun around without peeking back and rushed into your room, already knowing there was no more sense in strives to make this day any better; all of it would bring only bad associations. It would be depressing, even more than it already was.

God, was it how the break-up pained? Because if so, you wanted to be deceased. The world spun suddenly, and you sank to your knees, shaking madly and doing your best to find your way back to your bed, located a few mere meters from you. Part of you felt numb, but your head was wide awake and alarming you that something in terms of a disaster had just happened. Because it did. The clutching in your chest was unbearable, and tears were dashing out of your eyes like a living waterfall, which made you bury your face in your hands. Never have you ever wanted to be so drunk before.

And so many questions rung up in your head at once.

Did you make a good decision? What if you are going to miss him, yet knowing you could never call? What about college -- are things about to get awkward?

No answers.

But you knew someone who would be able to reply to them.

With the blurred by tears vision, you struggled but managed to find your phone in the purse, and then clumsily scrolled through and tapped in your list of contacts before holding the phone to your ear.

Please answer, you begged. Please, please…

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Pansy's voice roared from the other side of a line, as always, enthusiastic.

"Pansy." You tried to sound less brokenly than you were, feeling marginally worse at the reminder of your birthday. "Is Daphne around?"

"Ouch, you're a really nasty bitch sometimes, you know. I'm not goin' to point out today, but since you didn't let me end my wishes, I'll note that for the future reference." You were sure she was grinning at the teasing, seeing as much as she liked that. Normally, you wouldn't mind, but... "How--"

"Pansy, please..." you sobbed out, almost desperate to have someone to consult and share emotions with. Daphne -- contrary to Pansy, who could be very judgy sometimes -- was someone you had especially on mind now. "I need to talk to her."

You heard her sigh; the kind of sigh she used to either prove her resignation or concern. But, as much as it surprised you, she suppressed her curiosity and, without a second word, obediently handed the phone over to Daphne. At least, that's what you assumed because you heard a pause and subdued mutters in the background.

"Y/N?" the milder tone spoke up, and you felt suddenly very strange as if submerged in water of relief; relief to hear the familiar voice. That released you from keeping a distant attitude, and yet again, a sadness washed over you, triggering a loud wail to come out of your mouth. "Y/N, is everything alright?"

"No..." you sniveled, unable to collect yourself together. "I-I... We br-brok-e up."

"You and Draco?" Daphne asked, astonishment evident.

You nodded but then remembered she couldn't see you nor read your expression. So instead, you forced your vocal cords to work again. "Mhm..."

"What happened?"

Restoring the story in your brain again, you told her everything, still tearfully but much more coherently this time. You avoided the details, briefly skipping from one utterance to another, as your conversations had gone, and you were very much thankful she didn't press for more information about the prospect of the situation. If it hadn't been her sporadic gasps or loud inhales of breath, you would have almost presumed she wasn't listening. However, she was, and as soon turned out, Pansy was as well.

"That's bananas!" Pansy shouted somewhere from the back as you had ended, and despite your gloom, you giggled quietly at her comment.

"Shush," Daphne tried to silence her, covering up the fact she had put you on the speaker. You didn't mind because you knew Pansy, who would definitely expect Daphne to cite the whole conversation if needed. But knowing Daphne as well, you could bet she flushed more than she would want to at that point. "So it all started because of the cake?"

"And the delay," you added. "But it's not just about that, obviously. It feels like... he completely stopped caring. And I don't want to be stuck in a relationship where everything is about sex and having fun only. Draco wasn't looking for a commitment, which..."

"Sucks,"ended this time Pansy unhesitatingly, who wasn't now screaming from the other part of a room but openly participating in the discussion.

"Yeah," you agreed.

"As for me, I think he might love you more than you know, Y/N." It was Daphne talking again, and she sounded positively convinced about her view as for someone who had hardly exchanged any word with Draco for the past few years. As if reading your thoughts, she continued. "I've observed you a lot. I know he might seem unemotional, but it's you who discovered him. That must require a lot of trust, you know."

You contemplated, and some of the memories and images from your first encounter run across your brain, try as might to suppress it: spotting each other at the party; binging some whisky shots together; flirty teasing; the very masculine scent of cologne; and then... more spicy recollections -- eager lips pressing against each other; against each others' necks; against other parts of the body; stripping off the clothes in the passionate haste...

Receiving a long moment of silence, Daphne took a second chance and asked. "And what's with you? Do you want to end it?"

It felt like standing before the oracle of truth. Therefore, you couldn't deny it in front of yourself. "No."

"So what're you still doing there?" commented Pansy impatiently, and you could imagine her rolling the eyes. "Get out and find him!"

She was right. You will.

XOXOXOXO

"I thought I'd find you here..."

No. Actually, you didn't. 

You had tracked Draco's phone with your own one with some help of an app that, as the two of you had established still in the relationship, would be a good idea in case of an emergency. That in itself proved to be more than helpful, believing that your argument may be pinned as something in terms of an emergency, right?

So having access to his location, you had found out he was in the park where he had taken you on the first date, shortly after dinner, to watch the sunset that, as he had described, 'was a typical cliche from every romantic movie.'

But you had fallen for that. So much.

You hadn't been aware the place had actually some meaning for him until now, and that... God, that he had even remembered it. Time showed, however, that it indeed did, to which your heart reacted with a happy jolting. But also with a nasty sting of nostalgia following shortly after.

Yet, that only had encouraged you to make up your mind and go looking for him, which hadn't been such a difficult task per se. He was sitting on the bench, in the shade of a tree, and hiding his a little too delicate skin from the sun rays. As soon as he had heard your voice, his gray eyes flew up to see you standing a few meters away.

"What are you doing here?" was the immediate question that tumbled out of his mouth. He arched his eyebrow, and to your surprise, he didn't even look angry or sad with you. Nothing near the edge; actually, almost something like the amusement was painting on his face.

"Aren't you mad with me?" you asked intrigued, completely forgetting about his question.

He frowned. "Why would I be?" His tone was so mild that you weren't sure if he was referring to the double meaning; but then he smirked playfully and said, "Besides, I knew you were coming."

"Wha-- How?" you asked, eyes dilating a fraction, in shock.

He smirked, pointing at his phone in an explanatory manner. After a moment, you finally figured out what he meant: the app must have registered he had been tracked and that your phone was trying to find his. At this notice, you reacted with a wave of flush, suddenly regretting your previous lie. His smile only widened at your expression. "Wanna sit? It's plenty of room here."

"Mhm..." You nodded, pleased to accept his offer, and walked over to the bench, doing your best to hide the evident embarrassment on your face. You felt strange he had taken you with such ease, seeing as merely two or three hours ago, you had burst at him like a cram-full volcano of unspoken emotions.

Draco shifted a package from his side, making more space for you to sit, and it took you a moment to realize it was a McDonald's cake from earlier. Everything started from that -- a stupid, little piece of cake which stood up between...

You shook the thought away, taking a seat next to him, close enough to smell his sandalwood cologne. "You didn't answer my question," Draco reminded you. "What's so important to make you track my phone?"

"I'm sorry, okay?" You rounded your face to him, flustrated, leaning at the backrest of a bench. "That's why I came. I wanted to apologize."

"Oh... Couldn't you call?"

You sighed. "I figured you wouldn't want to talk to me after...you know... our quarrel," you said half-despondent, half-desperate, watching your feet as if it were the most interesting thing to peer at now. "I didn't mean what I said earlier."

"I know," he said. Out of nowhere, he was gently grasping your palms which forced you to look up directly into his intense gaze. His eyes were swirling like molten silver at you. "But I should be apologizing, love. I made a mistake, okay?" His hands traveled all across to your tense shoulders, squeezing them lightly. "I know I should be more... affectionate with you. And this was...dumb. A dumb mistake. With that cake. But I'll try to be better if you give it another shot."

He looked so serious that you instantly believed him. You wanted to actually, with all force of longing, which grew up too rapidly in you when he wasn't around. Draco was a fool, you could easily say. But he was your fool, which was a thing you couldn't be more proud of.

Peeking slowly in the other direction, you asked, out of the topic, "You remembered the place?"

"Of course," he puffed jokingly, smiling. "Our first date. Officially our place from then on."

"Right..." You smiled back.

Honestly, the mere fact that he had called this spot 'yours' warmed up your heart, and you felt yourself grinning at his never-before-discovered emotionality. To assure yourself you weren't the only one caring, it was all you needed to hear.

The whole moment was intense, and now, you realized, is when you should have hugged him. Kissed him. Said something back at his sincere endearment.

But instead, spotting plastic cutlery next to your 'gift', you asked, "So what's the taste of the birthday cake?"  

And you knew he had caught the subtext of your playful inquiry. And you knew that soon you would work things out again. But, as for now...

"I thought you would never ask."

XOXOXOXO

A/N: Looooooool. Such a drama-comedy, right? And I could easily say It feels like 50% Draco-x-Reader / 50% Draco-x-BirthdayCake... But whatever (2am is working like a drunken bud, folks). Happy beginning of August :)

[disorganizedkitten]

Surprise reminder I am not in fact dead. Happy whatever. I’m brainspewing a bunch of aus, mostly DC/batfam and Harry Potter atm and wanted to share some of my favorite moments from the HP planning sessions. These are... sort of from the same story? It’s evolved enough that I could split it into multiple stories based off which update/version it’s from.

Welcome to my Regulus Black Survives and ends up Raising Harry au that eventually melted into a very fun Twin Au that I hope I finish.

Harry: I CAN DESTROY HORCRUXES BY BLEEDING ON THEM

 Reg also sends him with a communication mirror because it's been four or five years, he's not going to be so callous as to deny he loves his kid.

  So they, being 12 and dumb, end up going in after her/him.

 Upon seeing Riddle leave the diary, Harry and Theo, who were raised by a Black and a Nott respectively, freaked. Theo didn't know what it was for sure, but could tell it was Bad, and Harry saw 75.9% sure it was a horcrux because really. What else can a person materialize out of?

 Riddle proceeds to monologue about how he hadn't expected this, Slytherins and Gryffindors working together? And aren't you a Nott? I wonder how your forefathers would feel. Etc. While Harry and Theo dodge the curses and continue to try to destroy the diary.

 "How can you be so powerful if you were defeated by a baby?!"

 The Basilisk ends up trying to listen to both of them, and then Connor tries to help, and Riddle tries to kill Harry w/ Ukri and Connor tries to take Riddle down, and Theo is darting around and tripping Ukri and Riddle up, while Ron has given up on his wand and is trying to wrestle Riddle, which leaves Harry again to take the diary.

When Sirius breaks out, Harry makes a lot of comments about just… cutting off his left arm. After all, no dark mark, no loyalty to the cause. Crippled, even if he was a loyal follower before. This is also his first elective year, which means that Reg sends him an old prosthetic to unravel for Ancient Runes.  Draco screams when Harry gets an arm in the mail.

Also Theo gets kidnapped by Sirius summer of 95 after he runs away to escape becoming a baby Death Eater. It's in broad daylight and causes so much panic

("I was wondering what that unholy shriek was" "a horcrux dying,")

 This leads to all sorts of hijinks because due to it being accidental, young, and without due process or practice, Fay is essentially an inferi. Except she still has a soul. It's weird. The necromancy-gone-sideways means that they're bonded.

Neville Longbottom and the Suspicious Letters - the Godbrother letters begin!!

 “I thought my brother was supposed to be raising you.” “I can go?” “Absolutely not, someone has to keep you alive.”

Regulus is a panicked box of nerves who accidentally acquired a child who should by all rights be his brother’s, and now he has to keep him

 Harry grew up around Reg who has Very Dangerous Magic™ all over the house, and has the time of his life watching things blow up 

 “Harry you’re going to singlehandedly give me grey hairs”

 “Honestly if it wouldn’t get more attention than I need I’d just kidnap you, they’re such horrid guardians. And I’m a Black, so that’s saying something!

(The Black Family Madness isn't inherited, it's learnt)

Adrian is a mortician because I really liked the idea of a murder basement except no one has ever actually died in the basement.

 Fay Dunbar vs the natural order

Neville Longbottom and the wallflower society

Charlie and Ginny Weasley are Parselmouths bc it makes me happy

 Happy Hogwarts day, Harry! Or should it be Happy Hogwarts Hour, Harry? Since you like alliteration? (I clearly remember Mass-Machete-Murderer).  I’m sad there’s no chance of running into you in diagon today, but hey! Hogwarts is coming soon! And then we can hang out whenever, right? Well, maybe not whenever. I guess we’d have to attend classes and make more friends. But otherwise! No more sneaking around! Unless you're a Slytherin. Then there might be some sneaking. But not as much! (Have we talked about that yet? I’m pretty sure I’m a shoe-in for Gryffindor, but… yeah. If you’re not, that’s completely okay!)  (^letter between Harry and the Other Potter Twin(tm) )

Hey, Harry. Mum just learned you’re a wizard (forgot to ask how, sorry, I’m sure she’ll tell you later) and has decided you need to come live in the wizarding world with us. I didn’t tell her anything. You and your Axe-bear uncle need to figure something out and fast. I’ll see what stalling I can do. XX, your lovely brother. (On the upside, we get 2 c e/o b4 Spt1!) (^Another actual letter from version 2-3 of this au)

 "You know," Theo says to Conner at one point. "It's a bit like Harry was raised by a Black."  Conner shrugs. "He was raised by an ex-death eater with one arm. Close enough." Theo does research and pretty much just figures that whenever Harry says he was raised by a dead man, he means legally. Theo puts his money on Regulus Black early on.

Theo’s a very smart cookie

 Harry also writes letters to Regulus using a constantly changing code which is really just pop culture references.

 We have a bunch of parselmouths this generation. See: Charlie Weasley, Ginerva Weasley. Henry Potter/Peverell. Connor Potter. Fay Dunbar/Black. (Also, Theo Nott, Neville Longbottom, Hermione Granger, and a few others learn it for the sake of keeping up with them).  Bry is… one of those groups.

 Bryony becomes a Basilisk Breeder

 There are five prophecy children bc I can

‘Tuney rushed out “He's not here."  No duh, Connor thought but didn’t say. He hoped the adults had a plan for this, because if Harry and Connor had to come up with stories on their own (lie to their parents) there was no way it would end well.  Three years of letters and visits and Connor still didn’t have a name for Harry’s adult figure. He wondered morbidly if that was going to change today.’

‘Connor decided with a new thread of despair that yep, the adults were going to be lying to each other for the foreseeable future. Ugh.‘

‘When Reg catches Barty, the only one who does, neither of them attack.  "Why, Barty?"  "What else can I do?"  "Join us?"  "That won't be safe. Won't be fair. I'm trying to send one of those boys to their death."  "You're also helping keep them alive. Let me get you out." Barty switches allegiances that night. The moment he has a choice.’

 There are a lot of people who are willing to step away from Voldemort but don’t know how. They got in over their heads decades ago and now they’re stuck.

 That doesn’t mean they’ll sit around and watch their kids make the same mistakes.

[takingtea-and-tellingtales]

thoughts while re-watching ep. 2x12 of Gotham

*ice puns intensify*

wow harvey, interrogating jim gordon at this trial is a little two-faced of you (i will never stop)

drink for “someone tries to say ‘oswald cobblepot’ and with gravitas” 

(and then drink like nine more times for the rest of the scene)

i watched a crack-vid that played “love crime” from the finale of Hannibal over Jim and Oswald killing Galavan and now I can’t unhear it???? i also can’t find it again to leave a link here???? 

“detective, did you have anything to do with the murder of theo galavan?” “what? no. what? who’s galavan. never heard of him. is it hot in here? maybe you killed him, didja ever think of that???” BE A BETTER LIAR, JAMES

prosecutor voice: “jim gordon, is there perhaps a small shaky mobster being tortured in arkham for a crime YOU committed?” (yeah, yeah, oswald has committed upwards of 50 murders at this point i’m AWARE but he didn’t do this one)

okay, friends, let’s TALK about SOME THINGS: 

(1) I SEE YOU, JOKER-CULT SPRAY PAINT

CALLED. OUT. 

(2) This:

i should clarify. i know i’m generally very excited about pretty much everything oswald wears because he is STYLISH AF at all times. but this is different. everyone get out your shipper goggles and strap in, this is going to be a ride...

these are not oswald’s clothes. 

i know this for a few reasons

(1) oswald is a much better dresser than this

(2) oswald is a much less practical dresser than this

(3) that coat is too big for him

(i know this because @tigerinkangel and i spent way way way too long looking at the few shots of oswald in this coat in the episode and we determined that the coat is made for someone taller and with broader shoulders... gee. who was oswald just staying with who is taller and has broader shoulders? i wonder.)

these are ed’s clothes 

ed has given oswald not just a coat but THREE LAYERS OF CLOTHES so he DOESN’T GET COLD including a little checked scarf (that surely would match ed’s fab red coat from later this season) and a knitted toque (a hat for all you non-Canadians) 

this is PRECIOUS

i want you all to image how this went down:

“i have to go, ed, they’ll find me and you’ll get into trouble too”

“where will you go?”

“just lay low for a while”

“where?”

“around”

“you’re going to be cold and, frankly, recognizable in that getup” 

“i can’t exactly go back home and change now, can i?”

“well then you’ll take some of my clothes”

“your clothes?” 

“yes. i think i have some sweaters...” 

*cut of ed forcing ugly knit sweaters over oswald’s head as the grumpy little murder-bird complains the whole damn time*

*cut to ed making sure he has a walking stick because the umbrella is a dead giveaway but he needs something for his leg*

*smash-cut to me being trash. oh wait. that’s all the time.”

alright. rant kind of over for now. 

i am HERE FOR the moment in the lab where Ed has the police scanner running and he hears news of Oswald and drops the thing (tooth?) he is holding in his tweezers and stares at the radio. I AM HERE FOR IT. 

i’m slightly less here for butch’s drill-bit arm though it does give him a nice bond-villain vibe

otp: strangely enough i am kind of fond of you 

(Tabitha is me trying to flirt: “you don’t suck i guess whatever”)

come on, Mr. Fries, be cool 

chill out, Mr. Fries, no need for such a... frosty reception 

Harvey Bullock saying “you don’t deserve these lips” is now my preferred method of rejection

“froze her?” “told you it was weird” - oh my sweet summer child you don’t even KNOW how weird this is going to get

(when will there be live penguins wearing tiny rockets you cowards?????)

okay there’s a ton to unpack in this ed-explains-the-roses-and-liquid-nitrogen scene but i’m not going to unpack any of it because i spend a whole chapter doing that in my very long fanfic and i don’t want to spoil it for y’all... i promise it’s super extra, though, and very shippy. you’re welcome. 

i will, however, take a tiny moment to FREAK OUT about ed shattering the rose and saying “i don’t like being called names, detective” through gritted teeth because DAMN that’s a good moment

also harvey looking at ed in this scene is harvey staring into the void and the void staring back - i like to think he saw the riddler in that moment. i just really love it it’s super powerful okay??? 

jim: “what is your relationship with oswald cobblepot?” ed: “i believe the kids today refer to it as “endgame”? i admit the terminology is a little fuzzy...”

(i’m not sorry)

“saying the word ‘Cobblepot’ with gravitas: Ed Nygma edition” 

penguin looks so tiny being dragged through the GCPD bullpen in a coat that’s too big for him. 

also ed watching oswald get thrown in the holding cell #hearteyes

i LOVE this interrogation scene. oswald is beat up, cold, arrested, wearing borrowed clothes and he still has all the power in the scene. 

HOWEVER - why does he cover for jim, here? honest question. is he still kinda infatuated with jim? his he hoping this will pay off in the long run? what’s his game here? 

victor, your research is cold comfort in this hard time of illness (#i’llneverstop)

dear victor, being able to freeze someone without bringing them back is just murdering them more slowly. delayed-murder. 

hey it’s me, shipper trash, back again to talk about the scene where ed and oswald chat through the bars of the holding cell. 

first - the overhead shot of ed pretending to look through files and oswald sitting in the cell is awesome. just... awesome

“you doing okay? you look kind of funky” - ED STAHP he’s the head of the gotham mob - ugh he’s too cute i mean, normal things. i’m fine

sub-point: oswald’s tiny smile and laugh tell me that my above freakout is also his internal monologue

ed just wants to helpppppp they LOVE EACH OTHER (i’m FINE)

i wish we had a scene of ed leaving flowers on Gertrud’s grave that would have been nice i think

gee, i wish ed had gone to visit ed in Arkham so i didn’t have to write 100k of fanfic fixing that (jokes, i loved writing it)

Lucius Fox explaining cryogenics to Harvey is the epitome of patience. he is a better soul than any in Arkham

oh this scene in Arkham is so cringey i feel so bad for oswald (yes i know he killed lots of people just let me be sad about this)

“my name is oswald cobblepot” is gotham’s “harriet jones, prime minister”

*dalek voice* “we. know. who. you. are.”

Victor’s a cool customer in this tense lab experiment. #i’mhilarious

i’m having Fringe flashbacks watching this body melt and not in a good way

any fellow Fringe fans out there? yes? no? 

why the hell isn’t there a refill order on Nora’s medication? how did that happen? 

Alright let’s take a moment to appreciate the hell out of BD Wong as Hugo Strange because holy shit he knocks it out of the park. 

remember how i said earlier that oswald still has all the power in the scene with barnes? yeah this scene where he shakes hands with strange you can just see all the power gather around strange like - i was immediately genuinely afraid for oswald’s safety

he’s got to stand toe-to-toe with the worst of the worst in gotham and still have the upper hand and his presence on screen makes that happen from moment 1

those pink glasses are awesome and i love them 

i really like Mr. Freeze’s homemade outfit it’s adorable 

why is Freeze bothering to hide the bodies at this point? like he really should just run - he has the meds and doesn’t need the bodies

back to BD Wong because i love him

he’s so creepy i love the way he chuckles through the word “yes” 

he’s just got this low, rumbling voice - never yelling, never talking faster - that you absolutely have to listen to whenever he talks. such a great contrast to ozzie’s scream-crying 

oswald’s freckles are very cute in this scene which is a weird thing to focus on i realize but we don’t really see them much in other scenes and they are cute

the little power-play with the tea cup - i love it. oswald pouring tea for himself, hugo taking it away. so. much. intensity. and. passive. aggression. i. love. it. 

now, after all this time, nora finds the murder-basement - freaks out, then just sits there staring at the body. 

harvey and jim arguing over the name is pure though i love them they are absolute disasters. 

while conceptually i’m aware i’m supposed to be invested in victor fries as a character i’m just not - it was a good call to push him mostly to the background after this. 

jfc the guy in arkham gouging out his own eyes i forgot about that. did i mention i LOVE all the arkham plots it is my favourite setting in gotham 

ed doing a little crouch to check for the missing dead body under the table then just going “huh” is like... peak gotham. ed’s got the hang of this city 

“also seems to have had a rather unhealthy relationship with his deceased mother” - hugo strange, not afraid to tell the truth we all try not to talk about

everytime the newspapers give someone a nickname i headcanon it’s valerie vale, living her best life, naming literally every batman villain 

... alright folks i know it’s been a year since i finished one of these but i’m back at it on the regular now so, stay tuned if you enjoy this sort of nonsense. 

[statticscribbles]

Home Pt 1

Summary: Kurtz/Theo Putnam,  Kurtz returns and Theo panics

TW: Drug-use, dubious consent

“Hello?” Theo mumbles from under the covers, he assumes it Jughead or maybe Betty, they’d both been checking in on him after the news of Kurtz death, and while they both personally don’t really care that Kurtz is gone Theo knows they do care about him in some way, so he lets them fuss. He can hear shuffling around the house, he can hear someone in the kitchen and he’s dreading having to eat something again, Jughead had been practically force feeding him Pop’s whenever he’d come by.

“Jughead I don’t need to eat Pop’s for the second time today.” He groans when he can hear the crinkling of a wrapper.

He enters the kitchen to find it empty, besides the Pop’s burger and shake. He grins at the shake, it’s strawberry and he wonders if Jughead knows it’s Kurtz favourite. He swallows not ready to correct his inner monologue to use the past tense.

He sips at the shake and debates actually eating the burger, he decides not to, returning to bed with half the shake left.  He frowns a little, there’s not the same taste as he had with the fizzle rocks but he can definitely taste something different, his vision goes unfocused as he slumps on the bed, trying to push the shake onto the dresser drawer.

“Did you give me a sedative?” He stumbles over the words seeing a figure in the doorway, they’re mostly in shadow and his vision goes spotty as they move closer.

“Jangle.” He swears it’s Kurtz voice and he whines a little.

“Aw miss me that much?” He sits up at that voice, he knows that’s Kurtz and he turns but the figure has crossed the bedroom to push him back onto the bed so he can’t actually see their face.

“Don’t stress so much Theo, let me help calm you down.” The words are distorted, they sound both too slow and too fast and Theo panics a little, wondering who actually is starting to undress him.

He can feel hands sliding down his leg and he wants to fight but then he gets a good look at the face and can only see Kurtz so he figures whoever this is, he can at least pretend with whatever drugs are in his system Kurtz is back.

“Figure it out yet?” Kurtz hums into his ear and Theo blinks slowly slurring his words as he answers.

“You didn’t die?”

“Nope.” Kurtz pop’s the P and laughs when Theo tries to wrap his arms around him.

“Hey, whoa Theo, kill it for a sec, hah, sorry bad joke. Let me take care of you, Jangle makes everything better.”

“Better cause you’re here.”

“Mhmm, but seriously just trust me, this is gonna be the best sex ever.” Kurtz winks and Theo laughs, feeling a rush of warmth.

Theo wakes up with his mouth feeling dry and someone almost suffocating him in their chest, he can feel sweat still drying so he reasons it hasn’t been too long, he sneaks a glance up, jerking a little as Kurtz blinks at him.

“Something on my f-” He doesn’t finish Theo pushing him back on the bed to kiss him more.

“I thought you were fucking dead, you piece of shit why would you do that to me.” Theo hisses, hands pushing against Kurtz’s hips as he snaps at him, trying to shove him into the mattress in anger.

“Aw babe, seriously, here.” Kurtz nods to the milkshake, mostly strawberry flavoured milk by now and Theo sips from it, eyes widening.

“This has Jangle in it, right?”

“Yeah it’s fine though, like I said makes everything feel good.”

”Kurtz…” Theo trails off and Kurtz looks up from the couch.

“Was your shower good? Should I have joined you?”

“You didn’t wear a condom.”

“Yeah, I thought cause I was back from the dead and all; I could play it a little loose.”

“You should have..”

“To be fair I did say something, you were just too out of it to care.” Kurtz grins and Theo just stares at him.

“What Theo, aw come on, it can’t be… you can’t get pregnant anyways… you can’t right?” Kurtz fixes his gaze on Theo as he sits on the couch.

“Of course I can! What made you think I couldn’t?”

“Don’t you get that shit like cut out of you??? Like I thought you did! My cousin had that done and one of the ghoulie’s also-”

“Kurtz I don’t have that kind of money!”

“Oh damn, well we should stop by the store then. We need milk anyways.” Kurtz grins a little and then looks to the fridge.

“Actually we should just go get groceries anyways.”

“How are you this calm?”

“Well I mean I don’t mind the idea of having a family with you, besides, how likely is it?”

“We find out in two weeks I guess.”

“It’s a nice welcome back present you have to admit…”

“What is?”

“Like surprise I’m alive, and to prove it I knocked up my boyfriend.” Kurtz howls with laughter as Theo shakes his head.

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