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peachy-beomie · 4 years ago

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Yellow <TAEGYU>

Genre: Light Angst

Pairings: Taegyu (Kang Taehyun x Choi Beomgyu)

Word Count: 1,829

Warnings: None!

Synopsis: In a world where you cant see color until you meet your soulmate, Kang Taehyun lives his life in monochrome. He’s never experienced color. But one particular boy makes him realize that maybe color isn’t all about what you see.

A/N: This is one of my FAVORITE ideas I’ve ever come up with. It was intended to be much longer but I struggled to write the whole thing and this actually turned out really good! I might write a second part so maybe be on the lookout for that 👀

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29409198

Taehyun’s POV

People tend to take for granted that which they have no fear of losing. Things so constant and ordinary in life, like hope and freedom. But some people are not blessed with the luxuries of consistency, and even those who are can learn just how quickly things can be ripped away. In this world of soulmates and colorless lives, people learn very quickly to cherish what they have.

Color, a word which here means: varying pigments and shades; is a concept unknown to me, as it is to many others. Everyone has a soulmate, our ‘perfect match’ or ‘other half’, the person who will complete us. It’s said that when you and your soulmate first lock eyes, the world explodes with colors, vibrant and dazzling. My parents used to tell me stories of blazing sunsets that would leave them breathless, and of endless fields filled to the brim with flowers who’s hues outmatch the very sun. They talked on and on about colors, and they’d always tell me: “One day, you’ll see them too, with someone you’ll love more than life itself.”

As a kid, I’d dream of meeting the person who’d make my world come alive with countless tones and hues. But as I grew up, I began to worry less about finding my soulmate, though I never stopped dreaming of a world beyond the monochrome I’m all too familiar with.

And as I’m sitting at my desk at 3 am, nose buried deep in the history texts I’m memorizing, color, soulmates, and all their mystery are the last thing on my mind.

Nonetheless, my thoughts are interrupted by the pale white light of my screen revealing a text from Choi Beomgyu, my best friend.

3:48 a.m.

gyu the annoying hyung

are you awake?

i can’t sleep

baehyun

why?

gyu the annoying hyung

just thinking too much. you?

baehyun

homework. are you ok?

gyu the annoying hyung

it’s nothin hyunnie-bunny don’t worry your pretty lil head about it :)

Ignoring the slight flutter of my stomach at the nickname (and the fact he called me pretty), I continue to mull over Beomgyu’s texts. Despite his protests, I can’t help but worry a little bit. Beomgyu is the least sad person I’ve ever met, always full of ear splitting grins and melodious giggles. It’s what makes him so endearing. The warmth of his smile, and the brightness in his eyes, it’s unmatched in its beauty and splendor. I have never met anyone as refreshingly themself. Beomgyu lives as though he has nothing to hide, and no shame to carry.

baehyun

you cannot stop me, i will worry if i want to.

gyu the annoying hyung

well if you’re going to worry anyway, can you at least come over?

please?

I can practically see Beomgyu’s pouty face and puppy eyes through the screen. I sigh almost defeatedly, knowing instantly I’ll never be able to say no to the charming boy.

baehyun

you’re lucky we’re friends

gyu the annoying hyung

love you toooooo <3

I groan lightly as I grab my coat and exit the building. It’s not like his apartment is too far away, only about a 10-minute walk from my own. I quite enjoy the serenity of the streets at 4 am. It’s quiet, save the soft bustling of stray cars, the cool air wafts towards me in light bursts. I take in the city and all its wonders, giving into the quiet mystery.

It should be odd that I gave into Beomgyu’s requests so easily, but truthfully this is just habitual at this point. Even though we’ve only known each other a couple months, we’ve fallen into an easy routine. Friendship with Beomgyu is just that: easy. He makes me feel comfortable

My phone buzzes sharply in my pocket.

gyu the annoying hyung

hurry uppppp >:(

I giggle quietly at his impatience but quicken my pace all the same.

Upon arriving at Beomgyu’s door I only get to knock once before Beomgyu appears before me, grabs my hand, and walks pointedly out the door with me in tow.

“Beomgyu wha-” I try to ask as I’m dragged to the stairs. I’m met with no answer .as we trudge up the narrow stairway to the roof. As we burst through the door, the crisp night air envelops us. Beomgyu calmly walks towards a desolate corner of the wide expanse of roof and motions for me to follow.

“Come stargaze with me,” he says as he lays down to look at the sky. I take my place beside him and stare at the stars. I’ve never been good at astrology but I can spot a few constellations. Andromeda, Orion, and Cassiopeia smile down at me from their perch up in the boundless night. It’s calming, finding the constellations. Knowing each star has a purpose, instead of just being placed in the sky at random. I imagine I’m one of those stars, lost in the infinite infinity of space. I think about how I too will find my constellation, my purpose, my home, and I’m placated by this knowledge.

Beomgyu and I sit like this for what feels like hours, comfortably silent; aware of each other’s presence without really acknowledging it. This is one of the best things about Beomgyu and me: though we talk consistently, we don’t need to say or do anything to feel comfortable with each other.

Beomgyu is the first to break our silence.

“The stars remind me a lot of my soulmate.” I turn my head sharply to face him, ignoring the way my stomach sinks at this news.

“You’ve found your soulmate?” Beomgyu nods quietly.

“Yeah, a long time ago. His name was Zhong Chenle. He loved astronomy and he’d always make me come out to view the stars with him,” Beomgyu smiles slightly at the memory. “I met him when we were kids. He was so bright and energetic, he used to bounce around a lot because he just couldn’t sit still. He made the whole world seem less dull. Not only because I could see colors, but his existence simply made me happier. He was like the sun in my universe. But then-” Beomgyu hesitates, tears falling silently from dejected eyes onto tanned cheeks. I grab his hand and give it a light squeeze, trying my best to let him know that I’m here and it’s okay. He stutters a bit before continuing, “It didn’t happen all at once, but the colors just began fading. First the yellows, then reds, each one dissipated until I was only left with black and white. I tried calling his house for hours but got no response. Finally, his mom called me, in tears, saying that he and his father had been in a car accident. His father sustained a lot of injuries, but Chenle died before they even arrived at the hospital.” Tears are now streaming down Beomgyu’s cheeks. He closes his eyes tightly as if it’s all too much. My thumb rubs soothing circles on the back of his hand.

“The worst part,” he says suddenly. “...is that later I realized his favorite colors were the first to go, as if his soul had died before his body even gave out.” Beomgyu looks at me, and my heart just breaks. He looks so empty. I open my arms for him and he all but jumps into them, burying his head in my chest. I feel his tears soaking through the fabric.

The quiet returns after that, but this time it’s far less comfortable. I try my best to comfort Beomgyu as he sobs into my chest. I feel each light gasp he takes as he struggles for air. His body shakes like a leaf and his fists curl tightly in the fabric of my black sweater.

I eventually hear his breathing steady and I pull away to look at his face. His cheeks shine from leftover tears, but his eyes shine brightly in the dim starlight. A strange warm feeling nestles itself in my chest, and I find myself at a complete loss for words.

Beomgyu pulls away and returns his gaze to the stars. My mouth opens and closes like a fish as I continue to struggle for words.

“I’m sorry.” I blurt out because it seems like the only fitting thing to say. Beomgyu smiles at me, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes like it usually does.

“It’s okay. I miss him, and I’ll always love him, but I have you now. You make life brighter, despite the greys and blacks. You make me happier than you could ever know.” I look down, hoping he won’t notice the blush on my cheeks.

“You do the same for me you know,” I meet his eyes. “You make me happy too. I’ve never met someone who can make me laugh like you can.” He smiles again, a little wider this time, and it makes my heart flutter.

“Do you miss seeing color?” I ask suddenly.

Beomgyu shakes his head almost immediately. “Not really. Colors were cool and all, but they’re just superficial. I think the world can be beautiful in black and white, you just need to look for the hidden wonder.”

“Did you have a favorite?” Beomgyu chuckles.

“Yellow,” He states simply. But noticing my confusion. “It’s a lighter color, the color of the sun actually. But to me, it means warmth and safety. Yellow is like laughter and smiles with friends or a happy ending. Yellow is simply: happiness and light.”

I spend the rest of the night pondering Beomgyu’s words. They resonate within me as we return to our comfortable silence. They continue to fill my brain even as I hug Beomgyu goodbye at 5 am, they remain while I walk home, and they’re still bouncing around in my head as I climb into bed back at my apartment.

I’m still thinking them over when I hear my phone buzz on my bedside table.

gyu the annoying hyung

thank you for being here with me. you’re truly a blessing kim taehyun, i hope you know that.

That simply text ignites a new and unfamiliar feeling in my body, one I couldn’t begin to describe. It starts in my toes and gradually moves up until each part of my body is engrossed with this strange new sensation. It wraps my bones in warmth and slithers it’s way into my stomach making butterflies erupt inside of me. It continues to my heart making it beat slightly faster in the best way possible. It fills my lungs with air much fresher than any I’ve ever inhaled. When it finally reaches the top of my head, my body is relishing in this amazing feeling. My senses are alive with wonder and lust and I just keep wanting more and more and more and more. I try and try to think of what this feeling is but all I can think of is: yellow.

TAEGYU PIC OF THE DAY:

The only taegyu pic ever 😌✨

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chaotic-catra · 4 years ago

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I wrote my reaction to Evermore when I heard it for the first time a week ago and I don't know what to do with it so here it is:)

Long story short: beautiful song, loved the references to Wonderland (And I fell from the pedestal right down the rabbit hole / We took a wrong turn and we fell down a rabbit hole) and Look What You Made Me Do (Missing me at the golden gates they once held the keys to / I don't like your kingdom keys they once belonged to me). I love how the melody is simple and how it’s not a “raising from the bottom” kind of song. That’s literally the best way to say it: long story short. She doesn’t care about the details, about who did what, because her mind is set elsewhere.

Marjorie: 30 seconds in and I just can't shut up about how taylor's voice was MADE for this kind of music, it is so soft and smooth like an asmr. It feels like it flows through the song. I love that the lyrics are really straight forward. Beautiful beautiful beautiful song just like Soon you'll get better. I like how it takes you a couple of minutes to understand where the song is going to.

Evermore: It gives me the feeling that Evermore and Long story short are two sides of the same coin, they talk about (almost) the same moment in time but one from a happy and hopeful perspective and the other one is still not so over all those dark moments. Evermore would happen a bit before LSS, it’s about this point in which you look back and you can't understand how thing went the way they went, what was the moment when things started to fall apart. And you are not in the eye of the storm anymore, but you are still not very far from it either. Is like everything that happened drowned and now you are alone with no energy and no direction and no perspective. “I'm on waves, out being tosed” Is like a transition song, it starts right after hitting rock bottom and follows her "recovery" until she finds something to hold on to: “In the cracks of light I dreamed of you. It was real enough to get me through.”

Happiness: CATRADORA. NOTHING LEFT TO SAY. CATRADORA. happiness is.. a lot. I love it.. It’s one of those songs that make u say wow.. she really captured this feeling incredibly. She said all there is to say, and showed all there was to show. It's like a flash of sanity in a turbulent time of transition.

Dorothea: CATRADORA CATRADORA CATRADORA also The Lumineers vibes. Dorothea sounds like a song to a friend who left for college or something like that, looking for better things because when living in a small town they tried their best to have a good time but they always knew they would never be 100% happy there and that’s the only reason why you don’t get mad at them or ask them to stay. aka She Ra if Catra wasn't left alone on a toxic and dangerous place when Adora left. It also sounds like “Sedona” by Houndmouth.

No body no crime: I didn't like this one much when I heard it for the first time but checking the lyrics is just one of those songs that make u go "this girl has such a talent when it comes to story telling". Her voice is so hypnotic, one of my favourite things about both folklore and evermore is how deep, calm, soft and SOLID her voice sounds. It was made for this kind of music. Also I love how she said “I sent this to my friend who is most likely to commit murder” SJDSDSJSJSK.

Coney island: I wish it didn’t remind me of certain things and I wish I didn’t understand certain lyrics but in the other hand, STRONG CATRADORA SONG from Adora’s pov. Adora feeling guilty for hurting Catra when she left and for making her feel like she didn’t matter to her. Realizing that no matter how many other wonderful people she meets, she’d never have a bond like the one she shared with Catra. I’ll elaborate on this:

Break my soul in two looking for you but you're right here (Adora looking for someone like Catra on every new person she meets but realizing that there’s no point because SHE ALREADY HAD A CATRA) /If I can't relate to you anymore then who am I related to? (Catra being the only family she had for most part of her life) /And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island wondering where did my baby go? The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go (The whole She-Ra thing happened way too fast, and she was introduced to tons of people who admired and revered because they only saw the legendary warrior in her, but when things calmed down she felt Catra’s absence) /The question pounds my head "What's a lifetime of achievement?" If I pushed you to the edge (feeling guilty for, partly, being the reason why Catra made so many bad decisions by becoming she ra) /Were you waiting at our old spot in the tree line by the gold clock? Did I leave you hanging every single day? (Catra waiting for Adora to come back to the horde) /And when I got into the accident the sight that flashed before me was your face (literally the vision she has at the heart of etheria) I could make a whole gifset out of this but I don’t know how to download the episodes

‘tis the damn season: I first said that Dorothea was about someone (X) talking to their friend who leaves their town. Listening to this I’m 100% sure that that person is Dorothea. (EDIT: I made a post with some parallels). And from this POV, you can tell that Dorothea wasn’t totally happy with her choice. She misses home, misses “X”, and recognizes not only that even if she left her town, she can’t escape from it, but also that she didn’t found what she was looking for in LA. There's an ache in you (Dorothea leaving) put there by the ache in me (Dorothea needing to leave bc she wasn’t there). Also, in “Dorothea” it doesn’t sound like “X” is sad about D leaving, but in this song she says that X is lying, and that X actually suffers because of it.

Willow: It's a really nice song, is catchy, chill, it's not gonna happen but it could have a really cool remix (EDIT: SOMEONE REALLY MADE A REMIX AND IT'S AMAZING). I don’t resonate much with the lyrics but the phrase “The more that you say the less I know, wherever you stray I follow, I'm begging for you to take my hand; wreck my plans” is just. so. beautiful. Yes, I’m avoiding the m*n part. Sorry Joe, ily.

Ivy: I didn't resonate much with this song so my brain stopped paying attention and instead it realized that the "How’s one to know?" part sounds EXACTLY like that Rose and Rosie song that they made to promote their sponsor that goes SUUUU-UUUURF SHARK. Biggest discovery at the moment if you ask me.

Gold rush: I don't have anything mature to say about this one. My leo ass wants someone singing things like this about me, that's it. sorry. About the music it sounds AMAZING I like the "magical" sound and the fairy tale atmosphere. I love the rhythm.

Cowboy like me: I can relate it to my own experiences but I don't thing they have much to do with the actual point of the song. Maybe I got this one wrong but I love this concept of "I wouldn't like to love someone like me, and you and me are made of the same". Champagne problems: First thought CATRADORA VIBES (Adora leaving Catra behind) “I dropped your hand while dancing, left you out there standing, crestfallen on the landing”. (EDIT: Now that I’ve listened to the album more times I like this one way more and the bridge is BIBLICAL) Closure: The “metal” noises reminds me of the American Horror Story’s theme song.

#taylor swift #evermore #me #don't kill me for the long ass post #I was excited

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incorrect-assvengers · 4 years ago

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Sorry for bothering you again 😅 For the ask - 55, 59, 63, 71, 86, 97, 99 Thanks <3

dw about it!

What's the most dramatic thing i've ever done just to prove a point?- uhhhh i didn't want to admit that i was wrong so i went and changed a wikipedia page

What's your favorite myth?- dude, i took three years of latin and my specialty was mythology but my brain just blanked, i'll get back to you on that

Are you fussy about your music and books? Do you keep them meticulously organized or just kinda leave them be?- i have all of my books arranged in rainbow order on my shelf and my vinyl and cassette collection in containers under my bed in alphabetical order by artist, so i’m a little picky with it

What’s your favorite kind of tea?- earl grey

Do you like concept albums? Which ones?- sweetner by ariana grande has such a good vibe to it, lorde’s melodrama is SO fucking good, i’d be an idiot not to say that one

Myers Briggs type, zodiac sign and hogwarts house?- ISTJ, gemini, and ravenclaw

List some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you see them.- stay by post malone, rollercoaster by bleachers, golden by harry styles (honestly any song by him), tomorrow never came by lana del rey, and kacey musgraves cover of neon moon

my music taste is kinda scuffed, sorry about that

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sickdaysofficial · 7 years ago

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Sickdays 4.0 Day 3 - Made a Mess

Author: @geekysparkle

Fandom: Soul Eater

Characters: Soul, Maka (a few others but not so relevant)

Setting: Few years into the future since the end of the manga. Kim and Jackie are happy and gay, Ox and Harvar no longer add suffixes to each other’s names and Soul grew taller.

Summary: The rational part of his brain, though, has no control over his lungs, so he chokes on air like the functional human being he likes to pretend he is and grips the edge of the counter with one hand, knuckles white, to keep himself standing despite the blurring edges of his vision. He should probably sit down before he passes out.

Warnings include my dialogue-writing skills and me having no memory of how anything in Soul Eater works. Mentions of vomit and teeny tiny amounts of blood ahead, sick character(s).

Read the warnings.

Maka’s gonna get so mad is his very first thought as he hears the mug shatter upon impact with the floor. He doesn’t see it, no, as his eyes are screwed shut against the sudden twinge of pain in his chest, but the sound of glass breaking into a million pieces is unmistakable. Burning liquid splatters on his feet, but he barely notices.

For a second his heart feels like it’s about to jump out of his chest, right through the scar tissue there, because the goddamn scar is definitely the source of the pain. It’s already fading rapidly, but the shock that washed over his entire body and knocked the air out of his lungs still lingers, leaves his vision swimming and head feeling too light. The last time he felt that particular twinge Crona was trashing a laboratory in Moscow under the influence of black blood and he never, never wants to feel anything even remotely like that again and fuck, he can’t breathe–

Of course he can’t, whatever is left of the rational part of his brain reasons. His lungs are already in shit condition even without the surging panic thanks to some weird bug that only seems to be attacking weapons (and one Kim Diehl, although Soul suspects that has something to do with her being a witch and not being able to keep her tongue out of her girlfriend’s throat), merrily leaving all the meisters alone and healthy and full strength despite the close living arrangements most partners share.

The rational part of his brain, though, has no control over his lungs, so he chokes on air like the functional human being he likes to pretend he is and grips the edge of the counter with one hand, knuckles white, to keep himself standing despite the blurring edges of his vision. He should probably sit down before he passes out. His other hand is still clutching his shirt, right over his scar and hammering heart, crumpling and pulling at the fabric with enough force for it to never return to its original state of being again.

Then there’s another twinge jolting through him, shooting lightning-fast from his left shoulder to the opposite hip and his knees give out despite his half-assed attempt to cling to the counter. He crashes to the floor, knees hitting hot tea and glass shards digging into his skin through fabric.

Somehow, he manages to scoot himself over to the kitchen table and away from the mess, only getting a few more fragments into the soles of his bare feet. He has no idea how he does it, and wouldn’t be able to tell later even if asked, but leaning his back against a leg of the table makes breathing easier and that’s all that matters. Passing out and hitting his head on the counter would be a very lame way to die.

Maka finds him there some time later, limbs pulled close to his chest and breath wheezing. The tea on the floor is still warm, not scalding hot anymore but definitely warm, and Soul’s face is pale. Maka is already in the process of hurrying to him, worried because it’s not normal for a person to be sitting still against a leg of a table even when they’re sick and that person is Soul, when she realizes that Soul’s both hands are clenched above what she knows is his scar. So she more scrambles rather than runs the last few steps to her partner.

Soul looks up upon hearing his name in the form of a panicked shout, but there’s a dizzy look in his eyes that worries Maka even further. It’s obvious he still has a fever, and now that she’s close enough she starts noticing other things, too.

The knees of Soul’s pants are torn, and in the rips she can see specks of red not visible on the black fabric. Only his heels are touching the floor, his feet otherwise lifted up and toes curling into the soles, and parts of them look burnt. He’s still clutching his chest, hands fisted in his shirt in a manner that seems almost convulsive rather than voluntary, and Maka doesn’t know if she should touch or not, if she should straight up call for help or not, if she should clean up the mess of glass and tea and blood on the floor first or not.

The need to know wins over and gets prioritized over cleaning. She doesn’t completely forget about calling Dr. Stein, but she figures she should probably at least assess the situation before actually doing that.

So she sets her hand on Soul’s too warm forehead, briefly wondering where she last saw their thermometer, and tries not to be offended when he flinches at the contact. She channels that into worry, too. Of course she knows Soul still doesn’t really know how to be touched in his human form, is still uncomfortable with the sheer concept of physical human contact beyond what’s needed to resonate and fight, but they’ve known each other for years.

And, Maka thinks, Soul saw her touch coming. Which means that he expected it, which in turn means that he should not have flinched because his problem is with unexpected touching.

Which means that even though Soul’s eyes are directed in her general direction, he’s not really looking. Not really seeing. So she focuses on that, hand still on Soul’s uncomfortably warm skin. His eyes look dull, the red color faded into something like rust, or perhaps dried blood, and she was right, he’s not looking at her, he’s just staring��nowhere with vacant, dull eyes, and Maka mutters a curse under her breath.

Slowly she moves her hands to rest on Soul’s, still fisted in his shirt. She doesn’t know where Soul’s mind is wandering right now, but she needs to get him back to her so she can help him. Maybe he’s in the Black Room, she briefly thinks, but then, no, no, that doesn’t exist anymore.

Carefully, she starts pushing her Wavelength against Soul’s.

It could be a horrible mistake. It could result in something she doesn’t know how to fix, she could very well end up hurting Soul or herself in the process and dealing with that is very high on the list of Things Maka Albarn Is Not Ready to Deal With.

But that’s only if she pushes too hard, and only if Soul doesn’t push back.

And then, to her relief, Soul blinks. He looks a little confused, but the rust in his eyes seems to clear off. Tentatively, Maka pushes a little harder, just enough to make it noticeable against Soul’s Wavelength.

His eyes widen as he recognizes the familiar feeling of Maka’s Wavelength. He makes a sound somewhere deep in his throat, a some kind of a mix between a grunt and a whine, and weakly starts pushing his Wavelength against Maka’s. He tries to match her, but it’s shaky at best and Maka is certain that were he in his weapon form, her hands would be burning.

Pulling back a bit in an attempt to create a balance, Maka starts slowly prying Soul’s fingers from his shirt. It’s more difficult than she imagined - they’re stiff and frozen in place in the folds of the fabric, but he doesn’t try to fight it. Soul has closed his eyes, probably in order to concentrate, and his breaths are getting deeper. It dawns upon her that up until now, his breathing has been shallow and nearly non-existent, and she briefly berates herself for that, but he’s coming back to himself, to her, so she can ignore that for a little while longer.

When she finally manages to actually take hold of Soul’s hands, his Wavelength is almost steady against hers. It doesn’t feel inherently wrong anymore; more like when he’s upset about something and just needs a minute or two of her being solid and steady. And even though she’s still worried and confused, that’s one thing she can always do.

“Soul?” she finally calls, voice loud in the otherwise silent room despite being barely above a whisper. “What happened?” She’s not entirely sure whether she’s referring to the mess on the floor or the state of her partner when she found him, but she’s going to let Soul decide which question he wants to answer.

“Maka.” His voice is quiet, too, and it’s awfully rough and hoarse and it sounds like it hurts. It’s sounded like that for two days, now, and before that he had no voice at all for another day or two. Not like it had mattered, in any case, because he’d barely had the energy to even sit up. Soul swallows and winces and Maka almost winces in sympathy. He still looks confused, like he isn’t entirely sure himself.

Soul looks around for a bit, as if looking for an answer from his surroundings rather than his memory, and Maka frowns. She doesn’t see any indications of a head trauma, but the confusion is certainly a cause for concern.

“I don’t-” Soul starts, then. “I was making tea,” he mutters as he looks at the broken remnants of a mug on the floor. “Sorry. I broke one of your favorite mugs.” He swallows again and coughs a few times, more to clear his throat than anything else, eyes wandering to their linked hands.

“Don’t worry about the mug, okay?” Maka answers, though she glances at the fragments on the floor again. She can’t quite distinguish which mug it actually is, but she has her suspicions if both she and Soul liked it.

“Just… hey. Tell me what’s wrong,” she urges gently, squeezing Soul’s hands. “Did you get dizzy and drop it?” Maybe if she asks questions like this, only requiring a yes or a no, she’ll get actual answers.

Soul snorts at that. “I’m dizzy all the time right now,” he says, and despite the snort the only thing his tone conveys is exhaustion. “I can be lying down with my eyes closed in the dark and still be dizzy.” He closes his eyes again, and Maka is starting to feel like he’s actually trying to avoid the subject. Her questioning tactics aren’t getting her anywhere, and her patience is starting to wear thin.

Objectively, she knows that Soul is feeling like absolute crap. It takes him longer to think things through, right now, and sometimes it just takes him a moment or two to remember things because his body is effectively trying to boil itself and especially his brain and no amount of fever-reducers, cold packs or sleep seem to be helping - according to Stein, this whatever should just run its course as long as the symptoms are manageable (she knows that Harvar has been in the infirmary for the past two days because his fever had spiked dangerously and he hadn’t been able to keep anything down and Ox has been beside himself with worry).

She also knows Soul sucks at lying to her, and she’s able to detect the clear signs of avoidance. It’s more difficult because Soul’s behavior is less predictable when he’s sick, but the way he avoids looking at her and mumbles through his sentences is a familiar yet irritating habit that Maka picks up on quite fast.

Her eyes land on the crumpled fabric of Soul’s shirt and she feels cold horror wash over her.

“Soul,” she starts again, trying to keep her voice level. “Is there something wrong with the scar?”

Soul’s eyes fly open and he sucks in a breath, his brain not catching up quick enough to stop the reaction from giving himself away. Maka doesn’t have the time to make anything out of it, though, no time to process the fact that there’s something wrong enough with the old scar to make Soul freak out this bad and force himself to hide it from her, because that one breath rattles something in Soul’s chest and then he’s coughing and choking, barely managing to breathe in between.

With more force than necessary, Maka pries their hands apart in order to get at least one hand on Soul’s back behind his suffering lungs. Her other hand gets quickly occupied with keeping Soul in a sitting position as he slumps against her, hand gripping her wrist so tight it hurts but she doesn’t care because the look on his face, beyond the pain, screams panic and hell, if crushing her wrist is what Soul needs to calm down, Maka is willing to let that happen.

The fit goes on for minutes, and all Maka can do is try to make it a little easier for him. It’s scary, terrifying even, to be able to do so little to help her partner, and the panic in Soul’s eyes is making itself known in her chest, too.

After way, way too many minutes in Maka’s opinion, Soul finally takes a proper, though shuddering breath. He’s slumped against her, shoulder digging just below her collarbone and one hand still gripping her wrist, but even though it’s raspy and sounds horrible, he’s breathing again and Maka allows her own shoulders to slump in relief. She continues massaging Soul’s back through three layers of fabric - a t-shirt, a cardigan and a light blanket - and briefly wonders if she really should just take him to the school infirmary.

Soul’s breathing is ragged and labored, and his eyes are closed. She’s not entirely sure when that happened, but they’re not tightly screwed shut, from what she can see from this angle. He’s starting to shiver against her, too, free hand weakly tugging at the edge of the blanket to pull it closer.

“Soul?” she asks again, wondering when this afternoon decided to become a nightmare. She still has those, sometimes, about Soul dying in her arms that night in Italy, about madness overtaking him and never subsiding, about blood freely cascading down pale skin. Soul wakes up either screaming or vomiting or both more often than she does, though, but Maka has no definite knowledge of what her partner dreams of.

“Soul, hey, how about we move you to the couch?” She nudges his arm a little, but gets no reaction. Soul still sounds like he’s run a marathon at full speed. “You’ll get to lie down and I’ll get you another blanket and some tea, yeah?”

There’s a small noise from Soul which could be taken as some form of affirmation, but he doesn’t move. Maka isn’t really surprised at that - after all, he must be beyond exhausted. “I know you’d rather pass out right here, but I promise you’ll feel even worse when you wake up if you do that.”

At that, Soul sighs and slowly detaches his death grip. The act of opening his eyes looks like it’s way harder than it should be by all logical accounts, but he does it anyway.

“Hey there,” Maka greets with a soft smile. “Are you ready to try standing up?”

Soul swallows. “‘ave to,” he croaks, and Maka doesn’t know if it’s resignation or a question, but she takes Soul’s hands and slowly stands up herself.

It looks like Soul has no sense of balance left. Just dragging him up is difficult thanks to his superior height and weight, and the general shakiness does nothing to help. Maka still doesn’t know when exactly Soul outgrew her that badly, but he is now a proper head taller than she is and even though he’s lean, muscle is muscle and she might be strong but she’s also fairly sure the only person she knows who has no trouble lifting Soul at all is Black☆Star. Soul staggers on his feet and even though he does try, Maka is supporting most of his weight.

He drops to the couch bonelessly the second they reach it, hands already fumbling to cocoon himself in the blanket. Maka sets out to find their thermometer before doing anything else. She eventually locates it in Soul’s room.

Briefly she thinks she should do something about Soul’s knees, at least pick the shards out and clean them, but that would require Soul’s cooperation and she decides to wait until he’s a bit more coherent. What she does do is wet a couple of rags in cold water and place them on his forehead and the burns on his feet. The soles of his feet have couple of shards, too, but none have penetrated his skin so she just picks them out and moves to the kitchen.

The tea on the floor has cooled down by now, but it’s still everywhere as liquid tends to do when spilled. There are several bigger pieces of the broken mug closer to the counter, and Maka recognizes it as the scythe-patterned one Soul got for her for Christmas two years ago as a half-joke (only half, because they both like it way too much for it to be a full-fledged joke). Before she starts cleaning, the fills the electric kettle with water and clicks it on.

By the time she’s done with the cleaning and the tea, Soul’s breathing has returned to what it was yesterday instead of the ragged mess it was earlier. He seems to have calmed down, too, no longer actively panicking and not as dazed as before. Now he just looks like a regular sick person who needs more sleep.

Maka didn’t look at the time when she stuck the thermometer in Soul’s mouth, but she estimates it’s been enough time for it to reach a conclusion. She sets the tea on the table for a moment to pluck the device out while Soul watches him quite intently, eyes trained on her face.

She frowns and sighs. “Soul, do you want to go to the infirmary? Because your fever is at 103.7 for the third day in a row and you can’t stand up on your own.” She allows all the concern she’s feeling to seep into her voice, not seeing the point in trying to hide it.

Because she knows her partner, she’s expecting outright refusal. She’s almost hoping for it, because even though Soul is stubborn, he also knows when it’s time to stop and if he doesn’t want to go, it’s because he doesn’t see a reason for it. However, the way Soul glances at his chest with an uneasy look in his eyes makes fear grip Maka’s heart again and she knows the answer before he even opens his mouth.

“I think–” he starts, then clears his throat. “I think I should probably go.” His voice is barely above a whisper, and he’s frowning. “There’s something wrong with the scar. I don’t know why but it suddenly started hurting and I, I don’t know.” He turns his eyes back to Maka, and although there’s no panic, there’s definitely uncertainty and fear. “I need to know what’s wrong with it.”

Maka understands the feeling. She helps Soul sit up, grabs another blanket for him and leaves him to sip his tea as she goes to call Dr. Stein.

Stein’s voice sounds impossibly tired over the phone, but he promises to send somebody to get Soul to the infirmary from their apartment.

XxX

“Several other students have reported their old wounds and scars twinging in the past few days,” Stein mutters as he leafs through a stack of papers in his hands. “So I wouldn’t be too worried about that, but considering the nature of yours I think it’d be better to keep you here overnight.” He sets the papers on the desk next to him and Maka notices the dark circles under his eyes. She has taken note of them before, too, and according to her father the doctor is a perpetual insomniac, but at the moment they look way more pronounced that what she’s used to.

Soul is swaying where he sits, and Stein seems to notice this too. He offers a tired, lopsided smile and stands up, easily lifting the weapon on his feet and quickly ushering him forward. Maka trails behind them, unsure of what she should do.

“Let’s find you an unoccupied bed, then. I’ll give you a full examination in just a minute.”

Looking around, Maka spots three NOT class meisters around, and in the corner of the room she sees Ox sitting next to a bed. The other meister looks tired and his hair seems to be drooping a little. Deciding that she can’t do nothing for Soul while Stein is getting him situated, she instead turns on her heels and makes her way to her classmate.

Ox looks up in surprise when she greets him quietly, but he offers a tired greeting in return. His partner seems to be asleep in the bed, white sheets accentuating how pale he is and the IV drip next to him telling Maka that Soul is actually in a pretty good condition. Harvar doesn’t have his glasses on and his hair is splayed around his head like a black halo, and suddenly Maka feels like she shouldn’t be seeing this.

“How is he?” She turns her gaze back to Ox who is still looking at Harvar.

“Better,” he sighs. “He woke up earlier today and his fever isn’t at a hundred and seven anymore.” He looks at her briefly, but with the thick glasses covering his eyes Maka has never been able to tell what Ox is thinking or feeling. “I hope Soul-kun isn’t in quite as bad a condition as Harvar was a few days ago,” he says.

“I don’t think you should be worrying about other weapons,” says Maka. “You look like you haven’t slept in days. But thanks,” she smiles. “Doc wants to keep him overnight to be safe, but he mostly drinks tea and sleeps.”

“If the infirmary wasn’t so full, I’d be sleeping here,” Ox grumbles, the tone quite uncharacteristic for him; it’s something Maka would associate with Harvar rather than the meister. “I think Dr. Stein is running on fumes, too,” he adds quietly.

“At least there’s someone helping him,” Maka answers, gesturing towards the NOT meisters. “I’m guessing Naigus-sensei can’t really be here at the moment, with so many sick weapons around.”

“That’s true,” Ox admits. “Hey, have you been to class in the past few days?” The change of topic is swift and expected - school has, after all, always been something they’ve had in common.

“Yeah. It’s been pretty empty with literally half the class absent and Dr. Stein here, though.” Maka finds it easy to talk about normal everyday things, easier than the worrying topic of half the school being out of commission.

So she tells him about the few new things they’ve been introduced to, though she doubts Ox isn’t already familiar with the new topics. “We’ve mostly been doing reading, though,” Maka recalls. “Hey, I could give you a list of chapters we’ve been going through when I come by tomorrow,” she offers, and finds delight in the way Ox’s face lights up at that.

“You could? That would be really great!” He’s practically beaming at her, now. “Harvar would be grateful, too.”

Maka smiles back, already writing the list in her head. A few years ago she would have given him a fake list, and maybe she still could as a prank, but considering the circumstances of his absence it would be just mean and childish. And very unfair to their academic rivalry. She wants to beat him when he’s prepared just as well as she has.

They let a silence fall over them, Ox sitting down and Maka leaning on the wall next to him. There’s nothing uncomfortable in it, thankfully.

Eventually, Ox lets out a heavy sigh and slumps a little into himself. “I feel kind of guilty for skipping school like this,” he confesses quietly. “Especially since you’ve still been there.”

“My partner hasn’t been in a virtual coma for two days,” she reminds gently. “And it’s not like you’re the only meister absent, either.”

“Yeah.” The word is more of an exhale than an actual word, but it carries a slight sense of relief. “He’ll be pissed when he finds out that I’ve been skipping school because of him, though,” Ox says, nodding towards Harvar’s sleeping form and letting out a short, humorless laugh.

“I think he’ll be more pissed about you ditching sleep because of him.” That gets her a wry smile.

“Probably.” Ox moves to lift his glasses, though the movement seems to be more for the sake of moving than his glasses sliding down. “I just didn’t want him waking up in an unfamiliar place without a friendly face around. We end up here a lot less often than you guys.”

Maka can’t help but laugh at the last statement. It’s true, of course - she remembers when one of her team would be in the infirmary on almost a weekly basis. It feels good to laugh rather than to worry even for a brief second, and the teasing edge in Ox’s voice makes her glad to have talked to him.

A moment later there’s a groan from the bed, and Ox nearly falls off the chair he’s occupying in his hurry to scramble for his partner. Harvar’s eyes flutter open just as Ox manages to take his hand, and Maka takes this as her cue to leave.

She’s barely past the bed when she hears Ox speaking, clearly to her and not his obviously disoriented partner.

“It’s been a few days since I last had an intellectual conversation,” he says, in a way that tells her he appreciates it. “I’ll be waiting for that list, then.”

“Get some sleep,” is Maka’s only answer to that, besides the wave she throws over her shoulder.

Soul is already asleep when she finds his bed, but she sits down beside him anyway. He looks paler in the bright lights of the infirmary than he did in the warm lighting of their home, but his forehead is free of creases and he doesn’t look like he’s in pain.

“You idiot,” she mumbles, smoothing his hair off his face. “Next time wait for me to come home instead of trying to make yourself anything when you’re sick.”

#vomit tw #blood #fever #panic tw #kinda???#ehhh we'll put it there #january 30 2018 #sickdays 4.0 #submission

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gethealthy18-blog · 5 years ago

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350: The Three Pillars of Healing to Become Your Best Self With Danette May

New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/news/350-the-three-pillars-of-healing-to-become-your-best-self-with-danette-may/

350: The Three Pillars of Healing to Become Your Best Self With Danette May

Child: Welcome to my Mommy’s podcast.

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This episode is brought to you by Wellnesse. That’s Wellnesse with an E on the end, which is my new personal care company that is dedicated to making safe and effective products from my family to your family. We started with toothpaste and hair care because these are the biggest offenders in most bathrooms, and we’re coming after the other personal care products as well. Did you know for instance that most shampoo contains harsh detergents that strip out the natural oils from the hair and leave it harder to manage over time and more dependent on extra products? We took a different approach, creating a nourishing hair food that gives your hair what it actually needs and doesn’t take away from its natural strength and beauty. In fact, it’s specifically designed to support your hair’s natural texture, natural color, and is safe for color-treated hair as well. Our shampoos contain herbs like nettle, which helps strengthen hair and reduce hair fall, leaving your hair and scalp healthier over time, and scented only with natural essential oils in a very delicate scent so that you don’t have to worry about the fragrance as well. Over time, your hair gets back to its stronger, healthier, shinier state without the need for parabens or silicone or SLS. You can check it out along with our whitening toothpaste and our full hair care bundles at wellnesse.com, that’s wellnesse.com. An insider tip, grab an essentials bundle or try auto-ship and you will lock in a discount.

Katie: Hello, and welcome to the Wellness Mama Podcast. I’m Katie from wellnessmama.com and wellnesse.com. That’s wellness with an E on the end which is my new line of personal care products, including hair care, toothpaste, and now hand sanitizer that are designed to work as well as any conventional alternative without the junk.

In this episode, I talk to Danette May who is one of America’s leading healthy lifestyle experts. But she has an incredible story of moving from a terrible loss of a child into helping people, and into a complete mindset and lifestyle shift. She’s the best selling author of a book called “The Rise” and of seven health and fitness books and programs, as well as co-founder of Mindful Health and dedicated founder of The Rise Movement.

In this episode, we go deep on mindset. And I share some of the vulnerable parts of my own mental shifts over the last couple of years, as well as her simple, and effective, and not complicated at all approach to fitness and to nutrition. She’s also the creator of something called Cacao Bliss which is linked in the show notes at wellnessmama.fm which is delicious and which I really enjoy as well. But I think you’ll really resonate with the mindset part of this specifically, and how she moved from really deep depression to creating the life she wanted and helping other people through her pain. So without further ado, let’s join Danette.

Danette, welcome to the podcast.

Danette: I’m excited to be here. Thank you.

Katie: I am so excited to chat with you today. I’ve been a big fan of your work for a long time and got to meet you, I believe it was last year, in person, and knew I wanted to get to share you with my podcast community. So to start, probably a lot of people are already familiar with you, but for anyone who’s not, can you just, kind of, give us a little bit of your story and how you got to be who you are today?

Danette: Wow. Okay, how far back do you want me to go? You know, for the past six, seven years, I’ve been in this wellness, fitness, nutrition industry, and, really, what I believe, living into my purpose, and into the truth of who I am, and what I’m meant to do. And so, definitely have online programs, and do high-level coaching, and created a superfood company, and really living into the truth, like I said, of who I am. But I have to say that a big part of me was a lot of my mess.

Previous to that time period, my mess became my message. You know, I was a trainer, so I’ve always been into the body, I’ve always been into nutrition, but I was not necessarily teaching the principles that I teach today. I had some ideas around nutrition and fitness that I don’t think were actually very sound. And it took the passing of my son, and me going through a really deep depression, and experiencing brain fog, and complete lack of motivation, and being in a dark place to really understand on a really cellular level, the power of movement and the power of foods to really wake us up, and to get us into that feeling-good feeling that we long for, and that clarity.

And that’s when, really, I believe, my spark came about, was seeing myself shift, and then, helping, like, clients that I had at that time shift, and then, I really had this burning desire to bring it to the world. And that’s where it truly was the catapult for me, was that I was like, “I can’t not have this information that I’ve gained so much from and not share it with the world.”

Katie: Got it. And, probably, there are people listening who can really resonate with parts of that story. And first also I’d like to say, I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the loss of a child. I think that’s probably one of the most difficult things anyone can ever face, and I’m sure that was very much a journey to come through. I had trauma in my past and I’ve realized just more and more, how much it is a journey and it’s continual. I’m curious, when you were in that darkest part of the depression, walk us through some of those steps that you took. You said movement was a big part of that, but I feel like people who are in there, it can seem, sometimes, like, almost like you can never find a way out. So what were the ways that you started to come out of that?

Danette: Yeah. So I was new to depression so I was in unknown territory, and so, the feeling for me, and I imagine it shows up in a different way, but the feeling for me was I didn’t even want to go outside. I couldn’t even go buy a loaf of bread. I had a little girl at home, and so, I needed to show up for her, but I was literally laying in bed and she’d be like, “I’m hungry,” as all little kids do. And I’d be like, “Can you move the chair over to the…” I’d, like, navigate her on how to serve herself from my bed, and then, I would explain to her what the curb was to explain to her, if she went outside, not to go beyond the curb of the sidewalk. That’s how bad it was.

And, for me, being a trainer, I’d always heard about movement helps with depression, right? Like, that’s not a new concept. I knew, I was like, “I got to get out and just walk.” Because, of course, you know, my body was not in shape. I’d had a baby and so it was, you know, the signs of having a new baby. You’re just like, already super slow, you’re beat up. And so, I was like, “I got to walk. I just need to go walk.” And I couldn’t quite get even myself to go and put on my shoes to walk. And I remember, specifically, the day that I had laced up those shoes because it was the longest lacing of my life, and I got outside and I started to walk. Literally, my goal was to walk around the block.

And just so you guys know, I was a previous runner. I was, like, all into sports. So this was a really weird world I was in. And I just remember going on that walk and hearing birds. And then, honestly, I literally felt like my chest was ripping open. It was like each step was this moment of me reclaiming myself and actually feeling for the first time every breath in, every step. And I was like, “Wow, this is going to be the very thing that helps me,” because it was allowing me to feel. Of course, I was crying and I was feeling everything, but it was better than being numb. And so, that was a really profound day for me, and so, I made a commitment that I would start with around the block and then I would make it two… But I think it’s like, if you can’t find it for yourself, like, borrow mine or someone else’s faith to say, “If you move, you will feel again, and if you move, you will clear out the cobwebs of your soul. You will be able to heal parts of you that no one else can touch.”

So, you know, movement was a big thing, and then, obviously, you have brain fog. And so, after I started moving, you know, I’m starting to lift a little bit, and I was like, “I’ve got to show up for my daughter.” And so, I started playing around with superfoods, and there’s a power in superfoods to really help with depression. And that’s when I fell deeply in love with studying superfoods around the world and how they could really affect your mood, your immunity, and, like, just be like a power punch to your system. So that’s, really, like, my best advice. And then, from there, you know, you have to take little steps, but then from there, I started working on my mindset, and rewriting my story, and looking at my limiting beliefs, and looking at my guilt, and my shame, and rewriting the truth of what those stories were. And they were different, and I really did the deep, deep work around sitting down and writing, and crying it out, and processing it.

Katie: Yeah, I can resonate with so much of that as well. And I’ve heard it said that, you know, when it comes to trauma or like a really intense pain like that, often you need more than just talking it out. You have to connect with the central nervous system and with the body in a way to be able to process that. And I think that’s where movement, like you said, is so key. And I found this in my own journey over the last couple of years, and I’ve talked about this a little bit on the podcast before. But I had sexual trauma in high school and then largely shut down emotionally in a lot of ways, but thought that I had processed it, and I had figured out ways to feel safe in everyday life, and I was extremely high-functioning and could do all these things, but then there was this unresolved trauma. And it wasn’t until I had daughters who were about to be teenagers, and I realized I had so many unresolved body image issues. And I wasn’t comfortable in my own body, I wasn’t accepting of myself, and I didn’t want to pass that on to them. I didn’t want to give them that prison of the mind that I had been in for so long, basically, my entire adult life. And so, it wasn’t until then for me, and it sounds like for you, for the sake of your daughter as well, that I was willing to face that pain and willing to change, because it was such a traumatic thing to have to face and to go through.

Danette: Wow, that’s so powerful.

Katie: Well, and my story involves movement too. Actually, I read the book, “The Body Keeps the Score,” which, I think, has some really profound points. And it talks about how, like, trauma, in a sense, can store in the body, and that’s why movement can be so helpful, and different types of body work can be so helpful. And I did bodywork with, actually, my friend Aaron Alexander, and he, basically, did a mixture of Rolfing and acroyoga, and held me upside down. So that triggered all my control issues, of course and doing body work…

Danette: I love those.

Katie: And it was like reliving the trauma in, like, rewind and fast forward, and then, processing all the emotion of it. And, like, I felt like an animal after being attacked. Like, I shook from all the adrenaline coming out. And it was like that day was a starting point and a huge pivot point for working through my own trauma. And then, it really also, really, drove home that point that you made that you have to connect with the body and movement can, sometimes, be one of the most powerful tools when we’re mentally stuck. And we don’t always make that connection. Like, we think, like, “Oh, I need to talk through it. I need to journal through it. I need to work through it.” Or we get critical like, “Why can’t I work through this, and why am I stuck?” when, really, sometimes that movement breaks the pattern, it seems like.

Danette: Yeah. That’s so powerful, I love hearing about that, yeah. So when you said Rolfing, it’s kind of like deep, deep tissue massage? I love that.

Katie: Yes. That combined with the, I think, control aspect of being… Because, I was like, “Oh, yeah. No, no, I don’t go upside down. People don’t pick me up.” And he’s like, “Yeah, well, that’s because you have trust issues.” And I’m like, “What?” And I had to, kind of, face all of that at once, and I never would have expected that the bodywork, you know, of all things, would have released that much trauma that quickly. It seemed like, you know, when the student’s ready, the teacher will appear. And so, I think that’s why I love your idea of the pillars because I think you give people tangible ways to work in all of these modalities, and that, like, for each person, it may be different, which is the first thing that starts that snowball rolling, or that starts that affect. But you give people…or you encourage people to, kind of, approach them all. So talk about your pillars because I’ve read about this in your work and heard you before, but explain what your pillars are.

Danette: Yeah. We, kind of, hit on them, and I think that you, even, hit on them in your lifestyle and programs but it’s… I think of three pillars like a coffee table, and if you would just have two legs, it’ll tip over, so you’ve got to have three pillars to keep steady, right? And for me, I’m just not about having the perfect body or… I feel like we have these vessels, they’re vessels, to live out a really happy, abundant life. And so, for me, having these three pillars are key for this ultimate journey that I’m on, and I believe every human’s on. And so, the first one is obviously movement. And not movement because you’re like, “Oh, I want to fit into these jeans,” or “I want to look a certain way,” but moving because movement does clear out the cobwebs. Movement is your gateway to releasing trauma. It is this gateway to happiness, and endorphins, and feeling alive, and feeling really empowered.

And then, there’s food. And food is, you know, we’ve heard these things like, “Food is medicine,” and it’s true. There’s so much power in food and how it affects our moods, anxiety, depression, how it affects energy levels, joy in ourselves, obviously, immunity. So food is a big one. And not eating, once again, for the sole idea of either guilt, or… And, actually, there’s so much mind stuff around that which is so fascinating to me.

And then, the third pillar is mindset, because I believe that if you have your nutrition dialed in and your movement dialed in, but you’re living in a state of a mindset of, maybe it’s sadness, or maybe it’s anger, or maybe it’s repressed emotions, then you’re not truly living into your fullest happiness. And I do know this power of the mind, also, can shift your body even quicker than the foods you put in or the movement that you do. It can drive your success when it comes to living in a healthy body or vice versa, so the mindset piece. So those are the three pillars.

Katie: I love that. And I think, especially for women and moms, especially, maybe, like, that mindset piece can get difficult at times. And so, I’m curious, like, how you navigate that. Like, how do you navigate this as a mom, and that balance of time, and prioritizing self-care where… Like, this comes up a lot with my listeners. You know, how do you make time for self-care when you’re a mom? Because, obviously, your kids are a priority, and how do you balance that with family life? Because I know so much of a big part of your mission that I’ve heard you talk about is helping women rise up to become their best selves. And I’ve always said, I think moms are truly the most powerful force on the planet for good. And that if we could all even just unite on a few things rather than focusing on the things we don’t agree on, it would be absolutely astounding how much we could accomplish. Because, not only are we raising the next generation, we control so much of the purchasing power, but I think mom’s just having an incredible amount of influence as well. But moms are also, probably, the busiest, most overwhelmed, often stressed out, people on the planet because we do so much. So how do you handle that?

Danette: Oh my gosh. Okay. I love this quote. It says, “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.” And, you know, with that being said, though, I have to say, because now I’ve ran two successful businesses, I’ve gone through some crazy stuff in my life, and I have to tell you, I think being a mother is the most hardest job… Like, put me in a room running business numbers or creating a business, yeah, that’s difficult, but nothing compared to the emotion and this whole journey of motherhood, and I think every mother can understand that. So, one is just recognizing that and giving yourself grace to know that oh, you’re showing up and this is the toughest job. It just messes with your emotions, and you’re stressed, and it’s always like you’re as happy as your saddest child, and it just brings in a whole gamut of triggers because they’re the perfect little mirror to you, to all the different things that you need to heal within yourself. It’s beautiful. I’m being a little sarcastic.

But here’s what I do because I do know that children can bring in a lot of triggers, and also, you want, as a mother, for them to be super-happy, and doing well. And like I said, oftentimes, we’re as happy as our saddest child, so it’s like, how do we keep everybody moving and progressing as well as ourselves? And some work that I’ve studied, and if anyone wants to look into this is “The Conscious Parent.” It’s a book called “The Conscious Parent.” And I feel like that book really hit the nail on the head of the underbelly of what’s going on in parenting. And, really, it’s just us getting really awake to the truth of who we are, and when we do that, the children shift. Our external world with our children shift when we get really real with ourselves. So for me, the work that I do in my mental health and as well as just the physical relationship with my children is really around the work I do for myself, and how do I show up for myself, how do I love myself, because they’re just a reflection of that love that you have for yourself.

So for me, personally, you guys, I’m a big tauter of this, I just believe in it so much, and you could do it once they go to bed if you’re totally awake and in a good space. But for me, getting up before everybody else in the morning, it’s not like it’s a new method but it works. And for me, I get up before everyone else and I give that time for me. And this is a time for me to journal, gratitude. This is a time for me to actually enjoy lemon water, maybe it’s a tea, or maybe it’s like hot chocolate or like a really delicious coffee. Like, making sure I take that time for my pleasure, taking that time for gratitude. I journal, I write out the things that I see in myself, I get to know myself during that time.

Some people work out. Now, if I had little kids at home, my kids are getting a little bit older, they’re more in, like, preteen, teen. But if I had little kids, I know for me, if I move my body before I interact with them, I do better, I’m more calm, I’m more steady. And so, if that’s you, then just schedule that in, like, “I’m going to work out before they, like, all emerge.” And, for some of you moms, that’s, like, 4:30. I remember when my youngest was little and I was starting this business, and she was, like, one of those energy seekers. Like, if I woke up at 5:00, she could feel it, and she would come out and want to crawl in my arms. And you have to give grace to that, but can you, like, find some things where you’re like, “Hey,” you’d be surprised what three and four-year-olds can understand. Be like, “Mom’s having soul time.”

How amazing to teach your kids to prioritize soul time? And I would tell her that. And I’d be like, “And here is your space and you can color, or you could…” You know, some people might even say, “You know what, I’m not even going to deal with that. I’m going to let them watch something,” if that gives you your time for soul time if they decide to wake up at 5:00, 5:30 when you did. But, like, letting them know, “This is my time, and I love you, and I’m going to give you a quick hug, but I need you to work on either this coloring,” and have it set up for them. Be ready for it. And if they don’t wake up, great, but if they do, it’s like you have something set up so you’re not, like, all flustered and frustrated that they came into your space. So that, to me, was what I have done and I still continue to do because I know that I’m way less reactive, and I’m way more steady as a mother.

Katie: I agree, I think morning routine is key all of the time, but especially with kids, and also, a great gift to give them, like you said, that example of having a morning routine and having time for yourself. I know, when it comes to shifting mindset, I’ve also heard you talk about things like affirmations. So can you explain how you use those yourself and talk about them for others as well?

Danette: Yeah. So this has my lifeline. So during the time I lost my son, I also, as we all know, when the floor falls out from underneath us, more floors fall, I actually went through a really hard divorce. And I was left with two girls at the time, completely young as a single mom with no financial help and all the money got drained from the accounts and I just was wondering what my life was going to turn out to, and so I sold all the furniture, and we literally slept on the floor, had to, you know, tinfoil, like I said, on the antenna. And I was listening to a lot of speakers and like, people that I looked up to talk about the power of affirmation. And I was like, “You know what, I can barely feed my kids, what do you mean affirmations?” But I did the work. And what I did is I literally wrote out all the opposite of how I felt. For example, “I’m a terrible mother, I’m an amazing mother. I’m a financial ruin, I’m abundant.” And I wrote it out as I am, and then the word. And there’s been research on the power of the word “I am,” and then the words following it, to have a frequency and an energy drive inside your cells. And so, I wrote out a page of “I am” statements around all the things I thought were lies at the time. And I had a commitment that, whenever I got into a funk, we’ve all been there, like, or down on myself, or feeling unmotivated, or feeling unworthy, I would pull out that list and read it out loud, and, literally, there were days I’d pull it out every 15 minutes. And I read, and read, and read those, and I believe it was the lifeline to where I am today. I still do affirmations to this day. I believe in anointing ourselves and claiming the power that lives within us. And, you know, I can talk business, and funnels, and strategies all day long, but these are the under-fibers that I believe never change that can truly change your whole life.

Katie: I love that. And I think you’re right. I think when it comes to mindset, often, we have to say the things, and out loud is a great example, before we believe them. Because, for me, like with weight loss, so I’ve lost, actually, now close to 100 pounds over the last year now.

Danette: Whoa.

Katie: Yeah, so it’s been a dramatic shift. And the funny part was I had this script before that, pretty much my whole adult life, that, “If only I was X, Y, Z, if only I was this size, if only I looked like this, then I would be happy, and then I would accept myself,” in the last year. And when it became more important for me to figure that out for the sake of my daughters, I realized I can choose and need to choose happiness, and self-acceptance, and love right now, and let my body be a way that that manifests, versus expecting my body to be the thing that’s going to make me happy, or forcing my body through deprivation and through punishment to look a certain way and then thinking that’s going to make me happy. And one of the things I used in that journey was tapping. And the person I worked with would have me say things out loud like, “Even though,” whatever the thing was I was struggling with that day, “I love and accept myself.” And, “I love and accept myself when I now choose,” and then, whatever the new thing was. And the first few times that I had to say that, like, I literally almost could not make myself say the words, “I love and accept myself,” you know? And it was, like, dramatic to realize, like, like you, I can talk business, I can achieve in all of these areas, but I have trouble literally saying the words out loud that I love and accept myself. And I realized that like, I’ve got to face this and I have got to be able to be an example of vulnerability, and at working through things with my kids, because where else do they see that if not through us? But I think the speaking out loud is really dramatic, and, often, maybe gets discounted because it doesn’t seem like, oh, just saying that is going to make a big difference. But, I mean, for me, at least, it was dramatic, and it sounds like for you too.

Danette: Yeah. I think a lot of times we’re wired in our minds that we need to pay for something for it to work, or it has to be really complicated or hard for it to actually work. And so, if someone tells us, “Yeah, you basically look yourself in the eye or say it out loud, “I am,” whatever, like, “I am loving and I accept myself,” or “I am enough,” or whatever those words are out loud,” people are like, “It can’t be that simple,” but it is. Like, I love how you said that, Katie, when you barely could mutter the words because most people will feel that. They’ll feel like they’re saying a lie and they’re like, “Why is it so hard for me to say these out loud?” And it’s because, like, the body goes where the mind tells it, so it’s, like, doesn’t even know how to say it because the body isn’t lined up. So the more you say it to your mind, it actually affects the nervous system, and your body and your whole direction in life goes where you’re constantly speaking. So anoint yourself. Speak the truth of who you are.

Katie: I love that. How do you do that? Do you have examples of how you do that with your kids? You said you have preteens plus teenage. How do you help them have the tools to do that from a young age?

Danette: Yeah. I wish I would’ve started… Obviously, my oldest, when I was going through all my hard stuff and I learned about this, she was about eight or nine, and then my youngest was, you know, really young, so I started with them at that time. And I’ve found that the younger one is more willing to do it, like, so I taught them. I was, like, every night, because you can when they’re little. You can be, like, “Okay, say three affirmations.” So I would make him say it at night. And instead of me saying it, I would tell them what I saw in them. And that as a mom, I have to tell you, has been one of the biggest things that I could have offered my kids at night especially if they had a bad day. It was really effective. I would be like, “Can I tell you what I see in you?” And they would be like, “Sure.”

You know, at first, they were like, “What?” and then I would tell them all the things that I saw in them that were beautiful, and powerful, and loving, and they ended up getting to a point where they were like, “Tell me more.” But then, I taught them, I said, “I’m going to tell you what I see in you but I need you to tell me through I ams, and tell yourself what you see in yourself.” And that’s been the most powerful thing for them. And so, they learned it quite young. And so, I tell them, “Do your affirmations.” You know, how we go, “Do your prayers.” Like, we do family prayer, but then, when they go off to bed, I’m like, “Don’t forget your affirmations.” And I hope and pray that they do them on their own now that they’re older maybe because I can’t force that, but that’s where I started when they were young.

Katie: I love that, and we do that with gratitude as well. We’ll ask our kids, either at dinnertime or bedtime, “What are you grateful for today?” And encourage them to be specific because it’s easy to just be like, “Oh, I’m grateful that I have my siblings, or that, you know, we have family time,” whatever. But to have them, actually, be very specific about it just with the idea of training them to look for the good. Because when you know it’s something that’s going to be asked at the end of the day, you look for those good things throughout the day, and same with affirmations. When you are you able to say those things about yourself, you’ll also look for the good in yourself. And I think that’s, like, kind of, the idea of establishing our filters. Like, if we look for the bad and the pain, we’ll find it always, but if we focus on the good, and I’ve heard you say that, “We experience life from a perspective of pain,” I think is the quote. Am I remembering that right?

Danette: Yeah, maybe.

Katie: But, I think, also, it is a follow-up to that. I think it’s a great call as well. You’re such a big voice for women rising into their power and supporting each other in that, which I think is beautiful, and, maybe, that’s another way we can do that as women, is to be that voice of, “This is the good I see in you,” and calling that out, versus, you know, the mom wars that ensue on social media. Maybe that could become the movement.

Danette: I love that.

Katie: And I wanted to start with mindset because I really do think it’s the most important piece. And certainly, for me, the last two years have really driven that home more and more, that I did everything else “right” for so long. I ate a clean diet. I exercised all the time. And it wasn’t until I dealt with mindset and emotions that any of it shifted, so I wanted to start there. But you, also, are very much an expert in the physical side, and the fitness, and the food, and so, I want to make sure we cover this a little bit more in detail as well. And I love that you have, probably, like a very… Not controversial, but you have your own unique approach to this and you’re not preaching the whole, “We need to just work out more and harder, and we need to eat less.” Like, you take such a cool approach to this. So can you go a little deeper on the physical side, the food, and the movement side?

Danette: Yeah. And let me ask, like, what do you think people want to hear when it comes to the food and the movement? I have really simple guidelines because there’s so much out there, right, no wonder people are confused. I’m in the space and I’m like, “Well, the nutrition industry is shifting all the time.” What was once healthy that we learned is healthy, that we finally discover is not like a year or two later, it’s constantly shifting. And what’s projected on media is, most of the time, most of the time, completely false of what is actually true when it comes to nutrition. And so, it is a big mission of mine because I’m like, “I see it.” I see how there are so many different, you know, “Do I need to be paleo? Do I need to be vegan? Do I need to be raw vegan? Do I need to be…? You know, what do I need to be to be healthy?” And there’s so much discussion around it.

So let me share something that I learned from another researcher just recently. So there’s a woman, I’m a Hay House author, and she was writing specifically around cancer. And she had made it her mission, and like over years, to research cancer patients on what they did to survive. Like, she was researching people that had the type of cancer that most people died from, and she was really diving into this concept with them. And I asked her something. I said, “Because everyone thinks they know what’s the perfect nutrition for everyone,” and I said, “Was there a common denominator when it came to food, that these people took on that healed?” And she was like, “You know what’s interesting,” she’s like, “That was the one area where there was not.”

She was like, “Some people juiced. Some people became vegan. Some people ate meat.” She’s like, “The thing was, it’s whatever they believed is what came out.” So if they believed that eating meat was going to help them, it did. They believed they needed to be vegan and they had to juice, then it did. And my point with this is, there are some basic guidelines, and she said that. She was like, “They all followed the basic guidelines.” Like, they didn’t have toxic oils, or they didn’t eat white or wheat, like, flours, and like white sugars. But outside of that, it didn’t really matter when it came to someone who was dealing with health with their life.” And that’s what I want to share with you all is that it doesn’t need to be super complicated, that there are some parameters to follow. Sometimes I’m vegan. Sometimes I’m vegetarian. Sometimes I eat more paleo, like, but I don’t put myself in a label or a box that I’m one or the other. And the reason is because I don’t actually believe one is right for everyone all the time.

The parameters that I would just make it really, really simple is really be looking for…if you want to go as far as I go, look for superfoods. And those superfoods in my mind are really good, coconut oil, avocados, actually, I think are an amazing superfood and not a lot of people are talking about that. Cacao, raw cacao. So raw cacao is different than cocoa powder so make sure you’re consuming raw cacao. Turmeric, ginger, so trying to get ginger in. I think garlic and onions are a great one when you’re adding to your savory dishes as a superfood kick for all of your different immunities. And then, obviously, dark type of greens, so really looking for that leafy…think of it like being like a sponge. If you were going to clean something, you need a little bit of bristle to get it clean. It’s like that inside your system. So when I speak on those, I would try to get those in my diet once a day, sometimes some of them more than once, you know, in there together, but I’m always trying to find one of them a day, always, if not more than one a day.

The things that I avoid are really simple, and they’re meant to be simple because for me, life’s about living. I’m not going to eat a certain amount and I’m not… You know, I’m just going to, like, enjoy my life. I love food and I think that food made with love and the way I think about that food is going to process in my body in a certain way. And we know this scientifically. The way you think about the food in your body is going to affect how it’s digested in your body and how it’s going to show up, and I’ll get to that in a minute. But the food that I would avoid and that I do avoid, if I ever have them, it’s maybe once or twice a year because I’m in another country and I just want to try X, Y, Z or whatever is their famous thing of that place, but it’s white sugar. I absolutely do not have white sugar in my home. I don’t miss it at all. We use coconut sugar. We use 100% maple syrup. You can use raw honey. I have a lot of sweets in my life but I stay away from white sugar.

Vegetable canola oils, super toxic for your system, so I do not have that in my home nor will I buy products with it, I don’t even buy chips that contain that. We have chips on the regular because our whole family loves nacho night. We just buy the kind that are made with other oils. And you can find those. It’s not hard. And then, white and wheat flour, we do not have in our home either. So we just use almond flour or these different types of combinations that make up a gluten-free flour, because it’s super toxic in systems, and, actually, it can… I’m not a celiac or anything and neither are my children, but there has been correlation with anxiety and white and wheat four. So try taking those things away. And that’s, literally, how we are. And so, obviously, we don’t have soda pop in our home because soda pop contains white sugar. So there’s a lot of foods that have those ingredients that we remove and we don’t consume, but we’ve tried to find alternatives, and there are so many when you look for it, you can find them. So, yeah, that’s my basics.

Katie: I love that. I love the simplicity of your approach. And like I found in my own journey, like, the lack of restrictions and dogma, I agree. I think health is so personalized but there are these general rules that are almost universally applicable. And, like, even like superfoods, for instance, unless you have an allergy to them, they’re almost universally applicable, or avoiding the bad things, like you said. I’m 100% right there with you. We have no biological need for white sugar. There are alternatives that work just as well in anything so it’s an easy swap to make. Same with, rather than vegetable oils which are horrible for you, you can actually get nutrients from olive oil, or avocado, or so many other options. And so I love the simplicity of that. I think in a world of overwhelm, it brings such clarity. And you do this with movement as well. Like, I’m a big fan of when you post on Instagram, the simplicity of your workouts. And so, can you, kind of, give us the overarching approach that you take to that as well?

Danette: Yeah. So my overall approach is, “Do what you like.” So once again, there’s no right or wrong way to move your body. There’s Zumba, there’s HIIT, there’s CrossFit, there’s yoga, there’s Pilates, I mean, there’s all sorts of, kind of, movement. And I always say do what floats your boat and do what really lights you up, because that’s what you’re going to end up doing. If you’re moving and you hate it, once again, your mindset truly affects how food is digested as well as how the movement is actually affecting your body. So if you’re moving your body and you hate it, it most likely is translating that way. And I’m going to speak on running, for example.

I know so many people that call themselves runners but they say they hate running, but they run to be lean, that are not lean. And let me just say, have we ever seen a distance runner that we’ve seen on TV that likes it ever not feeling…? No. And I just want to bring to the point that the mind is so powerful. If you’re running and you hate it, like, you’re like, “I hate this,” I guarantee that it’s going to have, like, a backlash. Either you’re going to get injured, or, two, you, actually, aren’t going to see the results that you were going for.

So find the thing that you love because when you are in pleasure is when the body responds. Now, let me say that again because so many women are so afraid of their pleasure. We’re so good at turning off our pleasure, and I’m talking about all forms of pleasure because movement is actually a form of pleasure. Everyone who gets done, usually with a workout, feels a sense of pleasure. It is a rush of endorphins. There’s this euphoria that comes over your system. It’s not fun before, but after, we get that rush, and so, that pleasure center is huge, so find the thing that you really love.

And for me, I like simple, I like quick, I love running, though, too, so I don’t make that quick. For me, running is like moving therapy. So I go out and run, but I can also hike and get the same benefit, or go for a bike ride and get the same benefit. So I need some long steady cardio. For me, I don’t do long steady cardio for fat loss or to fit in my jeans. It’s, actually, kind of, counterintuitive. I do long steady cardio for my mental capacity. I feel that it is a moving meditation. I feel like it’s therapy that’s absolutely free. I work through so much stuff and that steady-state movement is conducive to, really, healing your system when it comes in your mind. And then, I also just like, really, like, harder, I like some intensity for me, but I also need yoga and Pilates. Even though it’s not my favorite form of moving, I always know it’s very needed at times because I’m pretty fiery. So, you know, just change it up, do what lights you up, try lots of different things, and keep it simple.

Katie: I agree. I think I got stuck in that mindset early on too, of, like, trying to find… Like, everybody had their approach and their exact method you were supposed to follow and it wasn’t… Like, with movement, it wasn’t until I actually started doing it just for fun that I ever wanted to stick with it. And so, now, like my movement is I’ll lift weights because I love it and I feel great after, but not for extended amounts of time. I love sprinting so I’ll race my kids and do a bunch of sprints, and that’s fun, or climb a tree, or hang upside down, like, all these things that I feel like I forgot for so long and that my kids have been great teachers in reminding me.

But I think you’re so right. It has to come back to fun. And same with healthy food, like, the mindset shift, the reason I think that has to come first is you have to want to do these things out of love and nourishment for your body. You have to want to move because it’s fun and because you feel great when you do it. You can’t ever punish yourself into that. And it makes me sad to see so much of the diet and fitness industries that focus more on that, like, extreme, punish, deprivation angle. And why I like your message so much is because you keep it in the positive and you focus on the good. And I think that, especially for women, but for everyone is just so important.

Danette: Thank you.

Katie: So as we get toward the end, a couple of other questions I love to ask, the first being if there’s a book or any number of books that have had a really dramatic impact on your life, and if so, what they are and why?

Danette: The one that came to mind first when you just asked that was “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks. Have you read that, Katie?

Katie: I haven’t.

Danette: Oh, it’s so good. And the reason it’s so good is because it lays out why we upper-limit or why we self-sabotage, and how you navigate that. And it really boils down to, like, really fundamental things like, one, the spotlight. You’re afraid of the spotlight. There’s also ones of, like, failure. Like, and it lays it out, and you can totally learn through the examples he lays out. “Oh, my gosh. That’s me and I didn’t even know that.” And that book really helped me to ensure I didn’t self-sabotage in our business when we first started off. It’s helped me not self-sabotage in my relationship because I got into a new relationship and I had all this old story around trust and things from my previous. It has been game-changing for me, so I’d highly recommend that book.

I’m trying to think. That one is the biggest ones that came up. I’m a ferocious reader so I can tell you so many books. I’m going to speak on an author that I really love. There’s two of them. Napoleon Hill, I think most of us know, “Think and Grow Rich.” But try some of his other books out there. He has so many books that are so really built around the mindset, whether it comes to success in your life or finances that crossover into every area of your life, so Napoleon Hill. And then, I love Paulo Coelho. He wrote “The Alchemist,” which he’s best known for but he has so many other books.

Katie: I love that. And your book “The Rise” is also wonderful. I’ll make sure that’s linked in the show notes as well at wellnessmama.fm if you guys are listening. Also, I think we’d be remiss too in the podcast without talking about your products because you mentioned superfoods, and you have, at least one that I’ve tried, Cacao Bliss, that is amazing. So talk about your products too.

Danette: Oh, thanks. I’m so passionate about it. Obviously, superfoods have been this big power of healing for me. And, you know, what was interesting when I was going through, like, my transition of coming out of depression and really claiming who Danette was is, there was this desire within me to travel to indigenous places. And I don’t know if everyone has that desire but for whatever reason, I would dream about being invited where no blonde hair, blue-eyed girl would be invited. And, literally, because of that intention and holding that vision, I started getting invited.

And I found myself in a particular circle with these indigenous tribe, and most of them were men but there was a few, what they would call the grandmas. And we were sitting in a circle, and in the jungle, and they passed out these little, like, cups with dark liquid in them. And at the time, I didn’t know what it was. And they were like, “We’re doing a ceremony and it’s a cacao ceremony. We do this every full moon. We do it on new moons. But it’s a time for us to set intention, and time for us to connect back to our hearts.” And it was this really profound moment for me when I drank the raw cacao, which they infused with some raw honey from their bees, locally. They actually had sprinkled some turmeric in there, and a little bit of cayenne pepper. I thought it was super delicious but after I drank it, I was, like, feeling this almost euphoria high. I was like, “Whoa, what was in that?” Like, I was happy. And then, honestly, that intention that I set manifested, and they’d said it would. And I was like, “Whoa, what was that?”

And so, I started to talk to the tribe leaders and then I also did research on my own, and what they were serving was raw cacao, and, obviously, it was infused with one superfood which was turmeric. But I started learning about the other superfoods that they, sometimes, add to it. So they were adding, in different tribes, like, mesquite and lucuma, which are, like, different types of superfoods growing in the Southern regions. And they would help build up immunity, would help build up stamina for… If they weren’t able to eat, they could drink cacao. And I also found that cacao was built in for the ages. It was so highly revered in the Mayan culture that they literally buried it, and they revered it more than currency. It was so potent for people’s healing and for cognition, like, people would drink it, and it literally contains theobromine to like…

I get so excited, Katie, by this because they’ve been studies on curing all Alzheimer’s. If you want to, like, open your mind and have blood flow in your mind, and have better brain cognition, and remember things, and get into flow state, drink cacao. And there were so many stories of some of the greats of the greats doing this, and so, I was, like, committed to bringing raw cacao, the way it was cultivated, to our modern world. And so, I looked into trying to find a farmer that actually did it the indigenous way, which called ceremonial grade, where they lay it out in the sun and literally let the sun kiss it, and then, they grind it into a powder. And we infused it with lucuma, mesquite, turmeric, MCT oil, which none of them were doing, but they did, sometimes, add a different kind of fat depending on the region. But I just knew that that was going to be, like, a massive carrier of all the superfoods through the cells.

And I was doing that for like two years on my own, making this, and knowing that I was supposed to bring it to the mainstream, but not knowing how I was going to do it. We’d never sold product before. But I was drinking it and I was telling my whole community about it, and I told them how to mix it, like what was the exact percentages of each ingredient. And people were writing into me going, “I’m not depressed. What’s in this? And I feel good.” Because, we also know that raw cacao contains anandamide, which is only two foods in the world do, which literally acts as like a heart opener. So when you’re feeling love or you’re just done making love, that anandamide is released in your body. And raw cacao, not cocoa but raw cacao contains anandamide.

And so, we created Cacao Bliss because, one, I wanted everyone to, one, feel themselves more, like, tap into their heart, but also have every superfood that they could get to really increase their immunity. That, instead of taking greens, if you didn’t want to do greens, you could do Cacao Bliss and have a lot of the potent superfoods right in your fingertips, but then, you also have pleasure because it’s super delicious. So that’s one of our products.

Katie: Yeah, that’s the one I’ve tried. I’ll make sure there’s a link in the show notes at wellnessmama.fm, and I’ll also post it on social the day this airs. It’s delicious. I love it. It’s like an afternoon pick-me-up for me most days, and it’s incredibly just… It’s delicious. So I love that you have created that. Where can people follow you online to learn more and stay in touch?

Danette: Yeah. The easiest way is just my website at danettemay.com. On social, it’s just TheDanetteMay.com, so whether it’s IG or Facebook. But, yeah, we’re constantly putting out content, like, I think it’s three times a week that’s free content, recipes, mindset tools, workouts on the blog as well as on social.

Katie: I love it. And you guys, those links will be in the show notes at wellnessmama.fm. So if you are driving or exercising, you can find all of them there. But, Danette, I’m so glad we finally got to connect and do this, and I just really love you and love your work.

Danette: No, thank you, it’s was so great to connect.

Katie: And thanks, as always, to all of you for listening and for sharing your time with us. We’re both so grateful that you did. And I hope that you will join me again on the next episode of “The Wellness Mama Podcast.”

If you’re enjoying these interviews, would you please take two minutes to leave a rating or review on iTunes for me? Doing this helps more people to find the podcast, which means even more moms and families could benefit from the information. I really appreciate your time, and thanks as always for listening.

Source: https://wellnessmama.com/podcast/danette-may/

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sambart93 · 8 years ago

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Please, Please, Please Review! [2017.01.16]

I've literally just come back from the cinema after watching this! I saw it was on the schedule list yesterday and thought 'I must watch this asap!!' So I did!　So first things first is the official stuff and credits: Official Site here Press Release and Coverage 1, 2, 3 (*also photo credit) Trailer / Teaser 1, 2 CAST/CHARACTERS Sato Ryuji = Shinji Sato Hisanori = Nao Akazawa Tomoru = Aoi Nogawa Taichi = Dai Takano Kenji = KenKen Kuroba Mario = Kiyoshi There are more but... shhh... --- PS. I'm gunna change the format up again so let me know which you prefer: non-spoiler / overall comments first or last ^_^ PPS.. Apparently it's Sato Ryuuji's fucking birthday today! So it was the perfect time to watch this movie!! HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY!!! <3

OKAY! Back to the actual review! .... This was a film I was anticipating anyway and so I jumped at the chance of seeing it asap! Non-Spoiler/Overall: Went into it without knowing what the hell was going to happen and I'm so glad I did! It's not a movie I usually watch because it was very indie or at least had the feel to it as it was a perfect production; it definitely had some sound troubles and some of the shots (like camera looking up to the actors) were too artistic to be coming from one of the (two) big film companies in Japan. I thoroughly enjoyed the story even though it mentally broke me and my heart was crying at the end (a few real tears did slip out); it's definitely dark, realistic and bittersweet but there's those realistic moments of laughing even in the crappiest times which really warmed my heart <3 I was thoroughly impressed by Kuroba Mario's performance and saw a side of his acting I hadn't seen before. Also Sato Ryuji's smile is one of the most pure things ever! (HOLY SHIT I DO HAVE RYUJI'S SINGLE FOR THIS MOVIE ON MY LAPTOP!!! OMG!! *LISTENS*) If you get chance and want to see something a bit indie-esque, watch this! I am impress by it that much! My only complaint is Akazawa Tomoru's acting when he did the angry scene at the beginning; I don't think he's cut out for angry/horrible characters because his yelling just fell flat for me personally; least he tried xD Rating: 9/10 Now onto ALL the spoilers and story telling!!

SPOILER REVIEW:

To be honest I'd only seen the teaser trailer from MONTHS ago and had no idea what it was about! So, to be honest I was surprised when the first scene we got was Shinji (played by Sato Ryuji) and a girl putting their heads together in silence and it was this romantic scene but then the next moment he's like attacking her in a tunnel but then he's kneeling and kissing her slashed wrists but then he leads her to Aoi (played by Akazawa Tomoru, known as Tomorun) who he then blackmails into giving her stuff and she's pay for it, for Shinji's sake, in any means possible and then after that deal is made Shinji rings her and says 'sorry' and throws the phone away and that's apparently what he's done all this time in order to get money. So yeah, it got dark FAST. At first I was like 'No my Precious Ryuji!! He was like 20 when they filmed this!! Don't taint him yet!' But he really proved himself in this. I soon forgot about his age and was completely convinced he was the character and not Ryuji -- EXCEPT when he smile; OMG such an angel smile! Whenever he smiled, even in his difficult moments, I couldn't help but smile too <3 Also I do really enjoyt the opening scene because of HOW CLOSE UP the camera is! It's like 'nose and eyes only' close! His eye lashes are so pretty... I'll stop(!) Then we switch to his younger brother Nao, (yes younger! Wtf?! Hisanora had a good FOUR years on Ryuji at least yet he's playing the younger brother xD) and turns it he's doing ore ore sagi in order to get money and he does it with a group of friends who while they do have good times together, there's a a lot of tension and serious abuse between them. There's this wonderful moment half way through the movie when him and his friends (Dai, KenKen and BoBo) are drinking, having a laugh, having an amazing time and then it gets to that moment (we all know it; most have experienced it) where you've drank so much the mood drops dramatically and they're all just sad there in silence, in this room of gloom and to make matter worse, they're all shirtless and Nao even has fairy lights on him and the scene turns a little sinister. I could relate to that scene all too well. Another is at the beginning where Dai is joking telling KenKen to go die but he suddenly goes 'don't tell me to die' and it gets super serious for a while, but then they start to get naked (why boys) and begin to play games and lock him out of their place and it becomes light and happy again. Again I really enjoyed that dip in mood because it does happen, especially when (as it felt in here) you're friends only through convenience rather than being genuine friends. Throughout the movie we watch Shinji record music and get told by his producer that he could go pro with this and there's an external narration that talks about 'he never told anyone about it... maybe because he didn't even believe himself that he could do it' and I really resonated with that message; especially recently when I've been trying to decide what's my next step when it comes to work and careers and I've actually been attempting a lot of work without telling a soul and I do believe it's because I don't believe in myself so why tell others; so yes I completed related to this. And thus his producer tells him he can go pro and all of a sudden his life is much lighter and he's much nicer about the world and there's this beautiful moment where he and his producer are in the studio and his producer is drunk and dancing while Shinji (actually Ryuji) plays the drums and seeing his smile << yes we're going back to the 'butter would most definitely melt a thousand times over if they saw it' smile. It warmed my heart so much!!! <3333 The brothers apparently haven't seen or spoken to each other for a while and Shinji always works alone, but one day when Nao is on a swindle at an old grandma's place Shinji turns up and what they thought was a normal swindle, ends up spiralling when the grandma invites them in to stay for the night and she'll promise to go to the bank (and get their money) tomorrow. At first they're hesitant and Shinji tries to leave, but grandma feeds them and gives them (what can only been shown as) strong and disgusting alcohol which get's them completely startk drunk. And there's this beautiful scene where they watch the grandma perform an old Japanese dance while they smile and laugh as they watch; it's such a beautiful moment! And then the next day they both wake up sharing a blanket and sleeping next to each other and as soon as they wake up they face each other (my brain went BL-y, sorry!) but immediately come to their sense and move away from each other. It was a cute comedic moment <3 the grandma gives them the money and also says 'thank you for letting me redo my life once more' and this hits the boys because the concept of starting over never really occured to them until that moment. Thanks to that grandma they both begin to start changing. One day Nao turns up to the grandma's house with manju and Shinji also turns up randomly, unfortunately she's no where to be found and they find her (having tripped and fallen) up the mountain (she was on her way to a temple most likely) and run to the hospital but unfortunately it's too late and she passes. This hits them really hard and they ALSO learnt she had no grandchildren which meant she knew full well they were tricking her yet she still gave them all her money. At that point they decide they should find their father and fix everything between them. Throughout the story we get a female narration over the entire movie and eventually (about half way through we meet her) and she is one of the girls Shinji swindled about 6 months before and she talks about how she loves him and she carries on pursueing him because she loves him, and then there's a scene where she explains that they (Shinji and Nao) once watched their mother do a beautiful traditional Japanese dance on the beach as the father played the drums. She then comments 'but this is just something they made a reality in their heads together'. The mother is dead and the father left them and now has a family of their own. Which brings me to the semi-climax of the story (yes already but it ties in with the narration), the boys decide to find their father and through connects they find out where he lives. Turns out he's on the island next to where they live and he's already remarried and has a young daughter. When they get there, the father things they're loan sharks so runs away from his house leaving his daughter with them. At first she's uncertain but they come in normally and make food for her and they bond at the table and enjoy their dinner. The father eventually sees this by peaking through the window. Then the female narration starts; they would never actually know what his daughter looked like, because this is just what I imagined, in reality... And turned out the police find and catch them before they even get on the boat!!!! *dead* I was so angry! Turns out the narrator/girl is the one that reported them to the police and told them everything! So everyone including Nao's friends got caught!!! My heart was breaking!! I wanted that first ending to be so real! AND turns out she's now marrying one of the cops who she told!!! I was angry. Fuck her xD but I think we're supposed to end up feeling like this and being on the guys' sides. It's funny that the (semi-)ending was the way it was because RIGHT at the beginning of the movie I was like 'I hope one of these girls really fucks them up and they get attested' and then the film goes and does it!!! But by that point I was like 'these boys are precious! They're learning! They're so close to changing--- nooooo don't fucking catch them!!!!' And my heart my broken inside. Ugh why did she report them?!?!?! She finds Aoi at the end too and he ends up telling her the boys entire past and their story and he simply says 'they were idiots... and they got caught. I don't care what happens' and he leaves her. Omg the actually ending!!!! We watch Aoi run from one of the harbours (in fact the one where the boys got arrested) into a super expensive white car with blacked out windows and then all of a sudden we get English 'how are you feeling?' But he doesn't answer and THEN the machine they're recently sagi'd the old woman to buy ended up lighting up and exploding and THAT was the end?!?! Wtf?!?! I wanna know what the fuck Tomorun's chara was REALLY up to?!?!?! I need more!!! As I said in the non-spoiler review: Tomorun's acting when he did the angry scene at the beginning was that great; a little cringy and I personally don't think he's cut out for angry/horrible characters BUT he tried at least xD --- Now that the main story is out of the way, I can discuss a few more things: Mario's performance was short lived but holy crap it was good! So turned out both him AND Shinji were tricked out of money and the guy had up shop with their money and their debut CDs. now Mario's character had come to find him gone and was naturally super pissed. He's immediately yellin and pins Shinji against the wall (another BL moment for my brain) 'you were his friend right. You know where he is! Can't believe I believed his lying about debuting. He's taken all my money' Shinji realises what's gone on and that he's been thrown in the same trap but doesn't let anyone else know 'only those that fall for it are the bad ones' but obviously he's heart broken. Mario's angry and violent moment was like a minute long but damn it was flawless acting! I've never seen him act like that before and it was amazing!! He should defo play stronger and darker roles more in the future! Also I did giggle at one point cos Ryuji has a tank top on and you could easily see it was during a shaved armpit era (most likely for TouMyu) and the little black dots in his pits were so amusing to me xD Omg the cinematography! You can tell how indie this is by not only the odd dodgy sound recording at times (sometimes there was no real mic it seemed and everything was caught on the sound board and the actual voices sounded distant and such), but also how the way it was shot! There were some BEAUTIFUL and creative shots!! Especially the camera looking up shots; I couldn't get enough of them!! They were so good! I think this was beautiful shot! There's one specific scene (before Nao and Shinji start fighting on a beach) where the camera is tilted up and the sun is behind them so you can only see their siloettes and I loved the shot so much!! They ALSO used the slow-mo shot out of the movie too!! Another BL moment is, at one point Aoi and Shinji are talking and Aoi is super up against Shinji and passing him something and we can only see their shadows against the tunnel wall as they speak and I super thought 'omg are they secrelty in a gay relationship and hiding it from his brother?!' my silly brain... Oh and the beach fight scene was pretty BL-y too xD -- Review link complete with pictures here.

#sato ryuji #sato hisanori #akazawa tomoru #kuroba mario #review #movie

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nova-writes · 8 years ago

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10 Albums That Made A Lasting Impression During Your Teenage Years

I lived my Teen years (13-19) right in the middle of the Aughts, 2002 through 2008. That was an interesting time for music. Emo revival was just starting and Hardcore bands of the 90′s were starting to figure out what came next for them. I’m sure pop music was doing interesting things, but I was adamantly opposed to pop music as teenage, so there won’t be much of that.

The only Rule™ for this list (because lists need rules), is to use only one Album per Artist/Band. I will also try to go chronologically, but if you’re playing along at home, you make your list however you want. The “Chronogality” (that’s a world, don’t look it up) might get a bit skewed because, as I previously mentioned, I tended to shy away from popular music, so some of the albums didn’t come out during this time frame, it’s just when I discovered them.

On with the list!

2002

Gorillaz - S/T (2001)

Okay, so right out the gate I’m cheating. The brainchild of musician Damon Albarn and artist Jamie Hewlett came out just before I was a teen in 2001. But the virtual band consisting of 2-D, Murdoc, Russel, and Noodle illustrated by Hewlett was one of the first bands I discovered for myself. And I didn’t discover it until it had been out for a while.

Largely to do with their interactive flash animated website and bizarre music videos, their music and artistic style largely influenced my own art and led me to discover Tank Girl, Hewletts comic book series.

You might be thinking “Didn’t they say they didn’t listen to pop music? Their first pick is a pop group, what’s going on here?” To which I remind you I said there wouldn’t be much of that, not none at all. This was also “Phase 1″ of the Gorillaz master plan, entitled Celebrity Take Down, so that resonated with me. Also, the Gorillaz may enjoy some commercial success, but at this point they were still largely an indie group, collaborating with Hip Hop artists, producers, and indie rappers (Kid Koala, Dan the Automator, and Del the Funky Homosapien respectively). Also, revisiting this album later on led me to discover Del’s other project Deltron 3030.

2003

AFI - Sing the Sorrow (2003)

2003 was the year I discovered the color black, and I’ve never worn another color since (exaggeration, but not by much). This is also when I started to struggle with depression and other feelings and the goth-punk songs written by singer Davey Havok, bassist Hunter Burgan, guitarist Jade Puget, and drummer Adam Carson spoke to my early teen angst.

My introduction to AFI came from seeing the video for Girls Not Grey on the music channel Fuse (formally Much Music). I then probably pirated the music, because it was the 00′s, but I did also eventually buy a copy of the Album. This was also the first commercially successful for harcore-group-turned-goth band AFireInside.

AFI was the group that bonded my first real best friend and I together. We were both obsessed with the album, and we were determined to start a band (which we did and it was terrible). Together we worked our way through their back catalog and eventually discovered punk and hardcore music.

Minor Threat - Out of Step (1983)

After listening to Shut Your Mouth And Open Your Eyes by AFI and learning of the existence of Hardcore music, it wasn’t long before I discovered the “Big Three” of 80′s hardcore punk music: Black Flag, Bad Brains, and Minor Threat.

The icon art of Raymond Pettibon for Black Flag is still something that influences my art and Bad Brains influences many of my favorite bands and I appreciate them much more today, but Minor Threat’s anger is something that really resonated with me at the time. They definitely shaped the sound of the next band I was in, which was only a little better of an attempt than my first band.

Strangely enough, the Straight Edge mentality that is extremely prevalent throughout Minor Threats music never really took hold on me, but their other messages were clear to me, we’re outsiders and we’re taking a stand for what we believe in.

2004

My Chemical Romance - Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge (2004)

After my band broke up, I got pretty sick of the monotony of 80’s hardcore music (get over it, it’s boring). I was still pretty goth, even if I was a hardcore kid, so the second album by MCR was the perfect pop-punk answer to my jaded hardcore sensibilities, with Gerard Way’s long black hair and makeup, guitarist Frank Iero & bassist Mikey Way’s emo-hair, and lead guitarist Ray Toro & drummer Matt Pelissier’s heavy riffs and fast tempo playing.

Three Cheers remains one of my favorite guilty pleasure albums. I got made fun of a lot by my hardcore friends and ex-bandmates for liking them, but my lifelong friend Nyk and I would drive around (with my newly acquired license) and sing along to “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)” at the top of our lungs. Sorry about outing you, Nyk.

The Blood Brothers - Crimes (2004)

After cleansing my hardcore pallet with emo music, I discovered The Blood Brothers seminal album Crimes. It was a perfect mix of the hardcore music I had started my teens with and the more theatrical emo music. Jordan Blilie’s soulful crooning and shrill scream and Johnny Whitney, whose voice has been described as “a child being tortured”, battle over lead vocal duties with Cody Votolato, Mark Gajadhar, and Morgan Henderson rounding out the instrumentalists (they all play multiple instruments), The Blood Brothers are a force to be reckoned with.

I didn’t know hardcore music could sound like this. I learned people called it “post-hardcore” usually lower case like that. The Blood Brothers and the label they were on, Three One G, led me to many other bands that I loved.

I’m pretty proud to say that between 2004 and 2007 when they broke up, I never missed a show when they came to town. Their live performances were extremely energetic. You could feel the electricity in the air.

2005

Modern Life Is War - My Love, My Way (2003)

In 2005 MLIW released the album Witness, which is a fantastic album and I contemplated putting it on here instead, but in anticipation of the new album coming out I listened My Love fairly constantly. My hardcore friends were already fans of Modern Life, but it wasn’t until 2005 that I discovered them.

It’s hard to say how important My Love, My Way is to me without sounding cliche, but this album honestly saved my life. I had been struggling with my depression and Jeff Eaton told me it’s okay, I am too, but we’ll get through this. I’ll let the lyrics speak for themselves.

“We’ve been to the edge and we know what it’s like to want to die, and that’s something we won’t glorify. We’ll leave those miserable times behind. How far can I go? I’m rising from the depths of my own hell. I don’t need another tragic tale, I need the strength to walk the other way. I found conviction in my ever changing mind. I grew up tied down and bleeding on the inside, but I know I was a victim of my own device, and I want to live to see a brand new life.”

Modern Life Is War is another band that I went to every show I could. Even driving to Marshalltown, Iowa to see their Farewell Show. Their breakup didn’t last long as they got back together in 2013 to release another album and play more shows. They are still going strong now.

2006

Tegan and Sara - So Jealous (2006)

Sisters Sara and Tegan Quinn playing heartfelt indie songs about break-ups is exactly what I needed in 2006 when my first serious partner dumped me. Even listening to it now as I write this, it’s bringing up memories of feeling heartbroken and that every song is specifically about you.

Where do you go with your broken heart in tow? How do you know when to let go? Where does the good go??

Everyone who has experienced love and a hard break-up should listen to this album. Do that and tell me it’s not perfect.

Modest Mouse - The Moon & Antarctica (2000)

2006-2007 was my senior year of high school, and I was lucky enough to have a pretty incredible art program at my school. I had teachers who were actually working artists and forced us as students to create better and better art. They treated us like artists and it was the first time I felt like an adult was giving me any respect.

My studio art teacher was a huge fan of Modest Mouse and would play their music during class. This was the golden age of the iPod, so I soon had Good News For People Who Love Bad News and The Moon & Antarctica and listened to it even while not in class. It was also one of the first Vinyl albums I ever bought.

Twangy guitars playing over Isaac Brock’s strange voice singing about the concept of being an asshole and that everyone has the capability of fucking you over. What’s not to love? And the deeply critical song “A Different City” about the escapism of moving away and the terrifying reality of failing. A great song to listen to when you’re making your plans to move out on your own for the first time.

2007

Against Me! - Searching For A Former Clarity (2005)

After graduating high school with limited interest in attending college, my parents bought me a laptop as incentive to apply. I did and went for about one semester before dropping out, but now I had my own computer, so that was a pretty good trade off.

I ended up putting three AM! Albums and one Mischief Brew album on my computer and I listened to them constantly. I didn’t have internet access at my house during 2007 so that was the only music I had. Against Me! became my favorite band. Laura Jane Grace’s take on punk-rock and anarchy shaped my worldview.

I didn’t realize then why Laura’s music was so important to me beyond the anarchist politics until years later in 2012 when she came out as a transgender woman. In 2007 I was starting to understand where so much of my depression was coming from. So listening to Against Me! songs about dealing with the same issues and feeling was a great feeling of commiseration.

Looking back now, the songs only make more sense. Even if I didn’t know it at the time Against Me! was speaking to me about deeply personal issues, even if subconsciously.

2008

the Mountain Goats - Heretic Pride (2008)

The album that introduced me to the Mountain Goats! I’m really not that cool, so I don’t really know about awesome people like John Darnielle and how he’s been writing music since I was 5. But I heared the song Heretic Pride on the indie radio station and instantly fell in love with them.

Heretic Pride is not my favorite Mountain Goats album (that would be Tallahassee) but it’s the first one I heard at 19 years old and their literary songs have made me strive to make my own writing better.

It’s also the album that I tried to show to my future partner (we started dating in 2009) to try and impress her. She, of course, was a fan already because she’s much cooler than I am. She then proceeded to show me the extensive discography of the Mountain Goats (15 albums) and the rest of the Modest Mouse catalog just for good measure.

Well, there’s my 10 Albums. There are a few more I would like to add if I could pick more than ten. Like Dumby by Portishead, De-Loused in the Comatorium by The Mars Volta, and Pass The Flask by The Bled all squished in there somewhere. But I won’t cheat and have a list of 13 albums. That would be wrong...

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