#sorry bae thought you wanted the lore

[hayleythesugarbowl]

So I was gonna ask for another Angela Giarratana x reader but your request are closed 🥲🥲🥲 but I think we can talk this out *slides you the 1.04$ left in my bank account* but fr if you feel up to it or wanna save this for later feel free to and you don’t have to do it but I was thinking maybe Angela gets jealous when someone from the cast flirts with reader but it’s part of a bit Angela doesn’t know about and maybe they were playing legacy, betrayal or something idk that’s up to you and I know you don’t write smut so maybe like Angela gets jealous and leave hickeys and bite marks on readers neck when there having a water break or something 💁‍♀️ idk just a lil something or write what you want bae it’s up to you not me ❤️❤️ remember 1.04$ has your name on it 😉

Jealousy, Jealousy || Angela Giarratana x reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

summary: oneshot where angela finds herself jealous when another member of the cast flirts with you and she decides to let you know that you’re hers

word count: 1.3k

warnings: hickeys

a/n: ahh sorry this took so long babes but i’m so happy to get this request out for you. this is a little bit out of my comfort zone so keep that in mind but i hope you enjoy this!! also im ashamed to admit my smosh games lore is a little rusty so i didn’t include legacy betrayal hope that’s ok!! also i wouldn’t dream of making anyone pay for a fic so forget about it 💋🎀 enjoy!!

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“Ok, I’m working on a character,” Amanda said to you as you waited on set for filming to start. 

     “You? A character? Never!” You teased her, feigning shock. You’d been at Smosh since long before Amanda and ever since you’d known her she was always working on one character or another. 

     “Her name’s Annabelle Charlemagne,” she said, already adopting an accent, “and you are absolutely stunning darling, can I buy you a beverage?”

     She was fully in character now, so you played along.

     “I’d be honored,” you batted your eyelashes at her.”

     “I just have never seen such exceptional beauty. I am charmed.” She grabbed your hand and kissed it. 

     You glanced over and saw Angela watching you from afar. Catching you staring  at her she quickly looked away. But not before giving you a wink and a smile. 

     Angela. You two had been dating for a few weeks now, and you couldn’t be happier. But you hadn’t exactly told the rest of the cast yet. You were planning on waiting for the right time, but you hadn’t found it yet. 

     You knew it was killing Angela. You had no problem keeping your relationship a secret. It was easy and safe and you didn’t want to deal with your friends’ thousands of questions just yet. 

      But Angela was not as great at keeping her mouth shut about everything. You knew she wanted to let the cat out of the bag. Or rather, couldn’t help herself from accidentally giving everyone a sneak peek at a paw or whiskers. More than once you’d had to cover for her calling you ‘babe’ or her absentmindedly reaching over to touch you.

     Not that you two didn’t have your hidden moments. Sneaking off in between shows or volunteering to go work on something together. You couldn’t stop a blush from forming on your cheeks at the thought of all the things the walls had seen here that all of your friends hadn’t. 

     Now, Amanda’s voice brought you out of your thoughts.

     “Anyways darling, I’d love to get your number but—oh, I’ve forgot my cellular, one moment, let me fetch my husband’s.”

     She stared at you, losing the accent. “Get it, cause I’m flirting with you… but I’m married? And British!”

     You laughed, “Right. Well I’m still waiting on that beverage.”

     She fluffed her hair, “In due time.”

     “Alright everyone, quiet on set.”

     You shifted away from Amanda, preparing to start filming. You looked around at the rest of the cast—you loved your job here. Glancing over at Angela, you tried to catch her eye, but she wasn’t looking at you. She was looking down, a troubled expression on her face. You’d talk to her after this shoot, you told yourself. Maybe you two could even get lunch together later. It seemed like forever ago since you’d done that last. And you hadn’t even been dating a month yet! The director’s booming voice brought your attention back to the present. 

     “Rolling…and action!”

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

     “Alright everyone, take 10,” the director called. Everyone in the cast began filing out of the studio, taking a break before they had to finish filming this show. You joined them, heading to the next room for water.

     You had just stepped towards your bag and began to rifle through it when you felt someone behind you.

     “Guess who?”

     You didn’t turn around right away. You knew who. 

     “Spencer?”

     “Try again,” she said, quieter this time with a hint of amusement in her voice.

     “Chris Kattan?”

     “Ok, if one more person tells me that—” she started incredulously.

     You turned around, smiling at her “Kidding.”

     She reached out and brushed a strand of hair back from your face. “Hey beautiful, I haven’t had time alone with you all day.” 

     It was true. It felt like you spent less and less time together—what between filming and trying to not seem like you were dating.  You leaned into her touch, and she stepped towards you. 

      You remembered yourself and spun back around, “Angela, not here.”

      You felt her breath on your hair as she leaned towards you and said, “I don’t see anyone here.”

     “Angela, what are you—”

     Without warning, you felt her mouth on your neck. She began trailing kisses down your shoulder and you suppressed a shudder, leaning into her. 

     “Ange, what if someone sees us?” You whispered, glancing around nervously.

     She kept her lips on you, biting down softly as she sucked at the skin on your neck.

     You closed your eyes, savoring this stolen moment despite yourself. 

     “Angela—”

     “(Y/n)? You want me to stop?” she looked up at you.

     “No, definitely no.”

     She continued, bringing her lips to your ear. She was silent for a while, and then—

     “Still thinking about Amanda?” She breathed, her voice hoarse.

     “What?” You managed. That was the last thing you’d expected her to say. 

     “I saw you…earlier,” for the first time, you detected a hint of uncertainly in her voice.

      You tried to recall what she was talking about. 

     “You know, with the ‘oh you’re gorgeous darling’ and ‘why thank you take me home with you’,” You could tell she was trying to keep her tone light. You tried not to smile at her dedication to the character, even in a situation like this. 

     “That? Angela, she was showing me a bit,” you couldn’t help but smile now. “I—Wait, is that what this is about?”

     “What a girl can’t kiss her girlfriend without having ulterior motives!” You raised an eyebrow at her and she looked down sheepishly. “Ok, fine maybe I was a little jealous.”

     You marveled at the fact that Angela Giarratana was jealous. Because of you. You’d made her jealous. “Well, you don’t have to worry about anything. I love you, remember.”

     “Yeah you do,” Angela waggled her eyebrows and leaned her head against your shoulder. You rolled your eyes at her—she was impossible—but you realized you were grinning.

     “I love you more.”

      You looked at her against you, this beautiful woman who cared so much about you, and kissed her. She kissed you back wrapping her hands around your neck. 

     “Thought you were afraid people will see us?” Angela mumbled against your lips. 

     “I don’t care,” and as you said it, you realized it was true. You didn’t need to wait for a “right time” to tell your friends about your relationship. “I don’t care if they find out.”

     “Glad you felt that way, because if we didn’t tell them that hickey sure will.”

     You looked down at your neck where a mark was already starting to form, evidence of Angela’s jealousy. 

     “Good, let them know I’m yours.”

     “I like the sound of that,” Angela said, “Shall we?” She gestured to the doorway.

     You nodded, taking her hand and walking into the next room and over to the center  where all of the cast was mingling, taking advantage of the break.

     When you towards them, all eyes eventually turned to you and Angela, settling on your interlocked fingers. Your friends traded looks. 

     Amanda spoke up first, “(Y/n)? Angela? You, and you?” 

     “And is that a hickey?”

     “You wanna take this or should I?” Angela asked you, her eyes twinkling. Everyone stared at you and Angela, awaiting an explanation.

      “Nothing much to tell, other than you all should know Angela’s a possessive, jealous—”

     “Well if you’re not going to tell it right—” she interrupted loudly. 

     You looked at her, letting her know you were only teasing. 

     “Well, they always say actions speak louder than words,” you said before kissing her again. This time in front of everyone else. “Besides,” you whispered, only to her, your lips trailing down her jawline “it’s only fair if I return the favor and make you mine.”

     “Oh, (Y/n), I’ve been yours for a while now.”

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ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope you enjoyed this!! i have another angela x reader in the works so keep your eye out for that and as always feedback is always appreciated even negative i swear <3

[celestie0]

I’m using this ask to flaunt how much I love Kickoff! Choso 🥰😋 I know he had like two canon appearances but still 🩷🩷

Something about a silly spacey goalie just 🫶🏽🫶🏽

I just wanna know more about him, I need to take him on a date and get him talking so he can see that I’m the one for him and he’s the one for me 🥺🩷

Anyways (⁠ =⁠｀⁠3´)♡(´ε｀⁠= ) thanks for listening

KICKOFF CHOSO LORE INCOMING JUST BECAUSE BERRY ASKED FOR IT!!!

AAHHH im glad you enjoy kickoff choso :”) yea he has not many appearances but he’s always a vibe xD i actually have a reader on ao3 that asked me if they could write a kickoff choso fic sooo 👀 i’m really looking forward to see what they come up withhh aaa

pls kickoff choso is a very simple man, he had no clue about anything going on when reader slapped tf outta that ren at the bar n splashed kai w alcohol but he wanted to trip some bitches regardless ✋🏼😭 he just wanted in on the fun HAHAHAHA

i looooove the concept of choso being goalie bc he 100% just spaces out 90% of the game when the ball is nowhere near him and then he instantly locks in once he needs to HAHAHA he be LUNGING for the ball. i like to think the reason he became a soccer player and goalie in general was because one (1) person told him he had good reflexes once when he was a kid n he just RAAAANNN w that compliment ✋🏼😭 (omg now what if kickoff choso x reader childhood friends to lovers where reader is the one that said that to him when they were both like five or sumn 🙈) and he’s never been able to forget it since ehehe i’m getting so ahead of myself here pls)

yea i’ve also hc that he doesnt wear his pigtails or hair down on the field but he does like a very low short pony/bun with some layers of his hair falling out of it as he’s playing bc not all of his hair is long enough to tie back. also he’s verrrryyy particular ab his soccer gear, i think most particular of all the players on the team. like he takes his gloves n shiii very seriously haha and sometimes when he’s just chillin off the field, his hands out of habit attempt to fasten velcro over his wrists when he’s not even wearing his gloves bc he’s just so used to doing that all the time on the field ✋🏼😭 i think it’s become a nervous tick for him hahah

OKAY LAST ONE IM PROMISE i think i also hc this before but he’s the second sluttiest of the four soccer boy groupies (choso, nanami, gojo, geto), but he’s kind of aloof n isnt TRYING to get laid so often but he kinda has that mysterious & cute vibe going on that makes him easy target for extroverts 😔😔 poor thing. he’s not complaining though. but also he’s the type to 100% lead you on without realizing it and then be really confused when you think yall were in a relationship the whole time HAHAHA

he thinks kickoff reader is really badass 👍🏼 he doesnt really fw her all that much cuz he doesnt rly know her like that, but he thought her slapping the shit outta ren was hella dope

I GOT CARRIED AWAY W THIS SORRY BAE!! BUT THANK YOU FOR LIKING HIM 🫶🏼💕 HES JUST A LIL CUTIE I ADORE HIM

[closer-stars]

Gut Feeling (8)

Member: San Genre: Fluff, Feel good stuff Word Count: 10k (I’m SO SORRY) Content: food. Reunion. Tying loose strings. #Maturity. I think I provided enough hints as to where this is going Note: FINALLY FINISHED PART 8. there’s only two parts left. :D This went through a lot of stuff because of writer’s block and a thing called a short attention span. I’ve proofread this a number of times but I’ll continue to do so, especially once i update this with links in 24 hours. Network: @ateezlovenet Tag list: @barsformars @yeotlny @seoultraveller @shinyddeonghwa @frankenstein852 @miniyeo @hwaberrykiwi @jeongyunhoed 

Part 7

San’s gaze stays glued to you, unwavering, as he takes in your visage. Your new hairstyle accentuates your cheekbones, you look healthier, happier even. He couldn’t help but wonder if you were doing better without him. 

“Hello!! Surprised to see me, Manager Bae?” You ask in a playful tone. Your attention shifts to the eight boys who look at you with slack jaws and wide eyes. “Surprise?” You say softly, a bit of embarrassment rushing to your cheeks. Guilt washes over you when you remember you never said your goodbyes. 

A few moments of heavy silence sinks in on everyone and it was Yunho and Wooyoung who break the silence, tackling you into a hug. “We miss you so much!” You weren’t sure who exclaims it, you just knew the hug and the shrill pitch shocks you. This breaks the rest of the boys from their daze and they start to whine at you for leaving them with no warning, some asking you how you’ve been. 

Maybe things haven’t changed. 

You laugh, hands reaching to pat their heads, just like how they liked it when you worked with them. “Guys, we can catch up during your down time. Right now I need to introduce you to the director then bring you to your dressing rooms.” Your eyes skirt over to San, giving him a double take. 

He’s changed, matured, and he looks a lot like a man now. He always looked like a man but there was something about him now that had your gaze lingering at him for a moment. You snap yourself out of it and bring them to the director. After the formalities and quick rundown of the process, you bring them to their dressing rooms. San is the last one to enter as he lingers around you for a moment. 

You’re at work, you remind yourself. “Yes? Is there something I can help you with?” You ask, and you kind of hate yourself for your voice changing in pitch, your default customer service voice as you’d like to call it. 

It’s how even your work voice makes the corner of his lip twitch in amusement. He looks at you properly for a moment and his lips break into his bright grin. “I’m alright, thank you.” 

You hate yourself for your heart fluttering at his smile but you thank yourself for keeping your composure. At his words, you nod and let him enter the dressing room. You stay with them in the dressing room, because you know the boys well enough to know that when they have questions, they’re persistent. 

Hongjoong was the first one to speak up. “You never told us you did production too!” He could’ve asked for your help in his music if he knew earlier. You never really mentioned your experience in production, all you did tell them was that you’ve been in this field long enough to know a little bit of everything. 

You watch his make up artist work on his eyes for some time, then shift your attention to the rest of the boys. Seonghwa asks you about how the production work will be while adjusting his clothes for the first set. Black really did suit him. You look at your clipboard, flipping through the papers for his script and art direction. You decided to give everyone a rundown of the general gist of this shoot. You were sure they already knew of the story line, shit, you can actually pinpoint which parts of the story line were your suggestions during the meetings back when you worked with them. 

 It’s going to be a whole day shoot for the first day while the second day focuses on all the night shoots, all of which were going to be long days. Quite frankly, you feel a little bad that they’re filming at the wee hours of the day or end when the sun’s about to rise. It’s all part of the job, you get the good and you get the bad.  It’s just a matter of how much you love what you’re doing or how much food you can put on the table. 

One by one, you bring the members to their set, letting them discuss the scenes to be shot with the director while taking a few runs until both are satisfied with the final output. It takes several tries until both sides are satisfied with how the rolls come out. In between the planned shots were impromptu acting and dancing from the members, you wonder if this was San’s doing thanks to Answer. 

Speaking of, San was the last to leave the dressing room, the other members were already retouching their hair and makeup for the next shoot. On the way to the director, he asks how you’ve been.

“Well, I’m doing better now.” You start. “We can catch up after the shoot, if you want.” You advise as the two of you get closer to the director. 

“Same number?” He asks, his heart slightly racing. He wants to reason that it’s because it’s a new production house and nerves. 

“Yep.” You affirm casually. “Let’s get to work first?” You gesture, switching to formal speech as you approach the director first. You introduce him to the director, letting them do a quick runthrough of what the director wants from San for this scene. 

Once all of that is done, he’s about to step onto the set before he looks back at you. “Are you going to watch me?” 

It takes a moment for you to reply but you don’t hesitate this time. “Just like old times, Sannie.”  

Something about that makes him flash a bright smile, a complete contrast to his darker, mature look. He stays where the director tells him to first. Once he gets the cue, he starts to move, getting into character a lot quicker than you thought before the staff could even use the slate. 

Heeseok, the director, notes that you’re lingering around to watch San do his thing. “You can stay, you know.” He muses. His words make you look at him in surprise. You haven’t been with this production house as long as most of them have so you’ve kept to yourself for the most part. “I’m serious. You’ve worked with these boys before us right? At least, let yourself loosen up around them. It’s been awhile after all.” 

You wonder how lucky you were when it came to finding a work environment as understanding as this. At his words, you take up the offer and step a little closer, watching San with and without the help of the monitor. 

He’s improved greatly. He clearly has the experience to back up his professionalism. A gaze sharper than a dagger, colder than ice was given to the camera. You can’t help but have your breath taken away by how intense it looked. The shock wears off when you see how mischievous Wooyoung becomes next to you as he tries to make San break out of his character. 

Things haven’t changed. 

You watch Wooyoung pull the weirdest antics that would’ve made San probably want to punch the other. “You really think the boys would break after all these years?” You ask him, incredulous. The male looks at you, grinning ear to ear. 

“Of course! It’s fun pulling all sorts of tricks to see which one makes them break. The last time was Yunho when I started dancing to one of our earlier covers while I was wearing a multicolored outfit.” He explains. You have a rough estimate of when that would be. Even if you left your job to be their manager and their publicity team, you still watched them from a distance. You still buy their albums too. 

You shake your head, still entertained by his antics, before shifting your gaze back to San. He approaches the two of you and you figured that he was going to review how his performance looked on screen while the stylists retouch his makeup and dab his sweat away. “How did I do?” San asks the two of you as he takes a sip of water. 

“As expected, you did great.” You return without missing a beat. Wooyoung agrees too but in his typical fashion of a praise mixed with sarcasm. 

San catches onto Wooyoung’s antics and scoffs, unfazed by the other’s jokes. The two of them monitor his performance closely. Already, San takes note of which ones he needs to fix in the next shot. Now that they were busy, you thought it would be a good chance to slip off and check on the other members. 

When San straightens up after watching his performance closely, he spots you about to leave. “Are you leaving me with Wooyoung?” He asks as if miffed by the fact he would be left alone with his own member. 

You look over your shoulder, surprised at how bad he wants to have you watch him. “I want to check on the others, to see if they need anything..” You explain, unsure of what to make of this situation.

He has to admit you have a point but he wanted you to watch him still. Despite that, he let you do your work; you aren’t their manager anymore. 

--------

The music video shoot goes on for the entire day, and will continue to do so in the next few days. You assume that the earliest you’ll finish is in three days, this being based on how the boys have been working earnestly. But like any other shoot, no matter how hard you work or how smart you work, delays still happen. The three days eventually turned into six days due to unforeseen delays along with everyone needing rest. Thankfully for both sides, the work didn’t seem to feel like too much of a burden. 

In between the shoots, the photographer managed to take a few shots for the album’s photobook. A lot of b-rolls but that was fine, the more the better especially with how lore heavy this comeback seemed to be. 

By the last group shot, the director finally yells cut. “Cut! Good job everyone! We’re finally finished.” Heeseok bellows out much to the relief of everyone on set. In response, the boys return the same phrase, bowing to everyone in respect and gratitude. Everyone slowly starts packing up, those who have been on their feet for hours on end find somewhere to sit to rest their weary bodies; you included. You find a corner to drop yourself onto, your hands gently massaging the knots on your legs. 

You look at the time. You won’t be able to get home until sunset you assume, as you find yourself feeling guilty to even consider heading home now while everyone else is helping each other pack up the equipment. Once feeling returns to your legs, you pull yourself up to help out in packing away the equipment. 

You were already done with half of the stands when your higher ops realize you were still on set, cleaning up. “What are you still doing here?” Hwayoung asks you, eyes wide with an array of emotions behind them.

The surprise and concern makes you feel a little anxious, wondering if you did something wrong. “I wanted to help pack up…” You return softly, rubbing the back of your neck after keeping the last light stand away. 

“You should be home by now!” She chides. “You’ve been on set the entire time, leaving late and arriving on the dot. You need to get some rest!” She continues, patting you on the back. 

“But, what about you guys..?” You ask as you look around. The bigger set pieces were going to be dealt with in the following days as it’ll still be used for the jacket photos if you remember right. 

“Leave it to us. We’ll be alright, go home and get some rest. You’ll be needed back on set after tomorrow.” She reassures you. You look at your co-worker who agrees with her, echoing her sentiments about how you’ve been on set day in and day out. You really couldn’t fight them regarding their points. Somewhere along the way, you went from wearing jeans to joggers for the ease of moving around. With that, you nod at their argument.

“I’ll get going now. Please take care too!” You say, bidding them goodbye before heading to where your belongings were. 

On your way out of the staff’s room, you figure you should bid goodbye to the boys. It only seemed proper after your surprise departure from the company. You knock thrice on their door, peeking in carefully. Thankfully they were already dressed in their regular clothes. “Hey, just wanted to drop by and say that I’m heading out.” You state as soon as the boys catch sight of you. 

“Do you want to eat with us?” Hongjoong asks. It takes all of San’s control to not trip over his own bag at Hongjoong’s offer. Not only do old habits die hard, so do old feelings. 

At his invitation, you raise an eyebrow. “Aren’t you guys tired after the continuous shoots?” 

“Well, we are but..” Wooyoung trails off, taking the chance to stretch. “... food after a long day always tastes great.” He had a point there. 

It takes a while for you to decide, it has been way too long and you’re sure the boys have a lot to talk about with you. That also depends on how awake you could be in the midst of everything. “Are you guys free tonight?” You ask. You know yourself better by now: eating while sleep deprived isn’t a good idea and the way home can be an issue. 

“Yeah, their entire schedule for the next few weeks is just centered around the upcoming album.” Manager Bae returns as he hoists his bag up over his shoulder. 

“If you guys have the energy later tonight, we can eat dinner together. I don’t think I can last long enough to eat with you guys for lunch then head home.” 

“Then it’s settled, we can meet later tonight for a meal.” Hongjoong returns, clearly excited to be able to bond with you and the rest of the members. Just like old times (sort of). 

-------

The ride back to their place was bustling with energy. The members were exhausted yes, but the fact they got to work with you again overrode the need for rest. 

“Hyung! Why didn’t you tell us that they’d be there too?!” Mingi whines. He was one of the few who took your departure a little harder, if not just as hard as San. 

Manager Bae flashes an apologetic smile, though it can’t be seen by them, they hear it in his voice. “Sorry guys, they told me to keep it a secret.” He explains how you were the recipient of the PR team’s email along with how you did everything you can to make sure this deal pulls through. You even contacted the managers (as friends) to make sure that they told the members nothing about you yet. 

You were also aware of how they took your departure. Though this part wasn’t from the managers, rather from Seonghwa. 

“If we can’t have dinner with them, can we at least have a meal with them one of these days?” Wooyoung pipes up. The eldest members knew that one way or another, you’d make sure to have a meal with them. You confessed how much you missed them in the months following your leave. They understood why you had to leave too. They can’t hold it against you. 

“It’ll happen. They have a soft spot for you guys.��� Manager Bae returns with a chuckle. The nine of them arrive outside their apartment and decide to catch up on sleep before grabbing something for dinner tonight. 

--------

[ You to Hongjoong ] Are you guys still up for dinner? It’s on me. 

Hongjoong looks out of his room and the boys were already getting ready to eat out. “Boys, dinner with them tonight, yes or no?” 

[ Seonghwa to You ] Everyone’s ready already. Where to?

You send them the address, along with the menu. As you wait for their thoughts, you walk around the area. 

[ Hongjoong to You ] See you in that restaurant! The boys are excited LOL

Somehow you can picture just how excited they were, and how chaotic the apartment was since the invite. 

[ You to Hongjoong ] hehe, see you in a few then. 

--------

You wait outside the restaurant, occasionally looking up from your phone to look for them. They never really said what time they’d arrive. A part of you wonders if they moved elsewhere now, it would make sense if they did, especially with how big they are now. You’re stuck in your thoughts again, staring into space despite looking as if you were looking at your phone. You hear a familiar voice call out to you and that snaps you out of your thoughts. 

You look up from your phone, blinking a few times to regain your surroundings. You’re greeted by a Mingi that’s already speeding towards you. Fortunately, you were quick enough to catch him in your arms this time. “Oof--! Hey there Mingi.” You greet carefully, patting his back lightly. 

Despite him being the more laid back member, he was more vocal with his emotions. You were glad to see him looking better than before. “We missed you!” He exclaims, pouting slightly at you. 

An apologetic smile graces your features at his actions. It sometimes slips your mind that they were still kids when you met them. At least in your eyes they were, even with the close proximity in age. “Let’s continue the talk inside? You guys are probably hungry.” You raise, as you let them enter the premises first.

“They didn’t even eat prior to this.” Hongjoong quips with a snort. You look at them then at him in mild concern. 

“Did you eat though?” 

“He didn’t.” Seonghwa cuts the conversation as he drifts inside, walking past a dumbfounded Hongjoong. “It’s okay, I forgot to eat too.”

“That makes all of us then.”

--------

The dinner goes without a hitch. For the most part it was you and Seonghwa who were cooking the meat over the grills. 

There were times where when you put the cooked pieces of meat on their plates, some of the pieces you cooked would appear on your plate. “Huh?” you mumble, when you catch the culprit’s hand under your line of sight. You’re able to catch the direction of where the hand retreats. It’s San. You look at him while keeping track of the sizzling meat over the grill. “Did you at least eat?” 

“Yeah but you haven’t.” He shoots back, gesturing to the cooked meat on your plate. 

“Let me cook this time.” Yunho offers, he doesn’t take no for an answer as he takes the tongs from your hands. Now that you were empty handed, you could finally sit and get some food into your system. 

San says something that you don’t catch so you turn to San’s direction, only to be greeted by a small ssam in front of you. You stare at him for a moment, opening your hand for it but he pulls back at such action. This puts a confused frown on your face which doesn’t faze him. “I said, ‘say ah’.” He even goes the extra mile by opening his mouth for you to mimic. 

Stubborn boy. 

You roll your eyes but appease his wish to have him feed you. As expected, the food in this restaurant doesn’t disappoint. The other members glance at San, somehow amused at how he acts despite the time apart. None of them were caught by you, too busy eating your share after a long day. 

The rest of the night goes like that, just eating and drinking (non-alcohol because of their schedule) with the boys as they tell you stories of what you’ve missed. 

“Seonghwa doing rock climbing? Again?” You repeat, incredulous and rather concerned for his safety. You stare at the male at the other side of the table who looks at you as if he heard nothing. Of course he looks unfazed, the other members were praising him for having gotten through it despite his phobia. He says nothing to your question, instead taking his sweet time eating his sherbet. At his lack of a reply, you just snort at him and continue to eat your ice cream. 

It’s hard to deny that he didn’t have feelings anymore. Not when he looked at you with warmth as you recount what has happened since you left. Yunho and Seonghwa could clearly see how he felt about you but say nothing except to snap a few shots to tease him with later. Maybe this explains his lack of interest in dating. 

You did your best to tell them your experiences and how things have been after everything. The few months of just you being on your own, doing side jobs to keep supporting yourself as you did some reflecting. The succeeding months of landing the job you have now. “I feel happier here.” You admit, while managing them was a lovely job in itself, the fact you get to help create visual ideas into reality is something you can’t replace. “Despite all that, I still bought your albums.” You add, showing them a photo of their albums still on display at your place.

“Oh you moved?” Wooyoung notes. 

Sharp boy, you thought. “Yeah, I moved elsewhere for my job, easier to get there too.” You confess. San leans a little closer looking at your photo to see how Wooyoung noticed such a detail. Though it’s not much, he could definitely tell you had plans of staying in that apartment for a longer time. The walls were decorated, their albums were on shelves, proudly displayed their achievements, even some of your jackets were resting over your chair too. It just looked so you. 

Hongjoong looks at the time, “Guys, it’s getting late..” He hated having to cut the fun especially with a dear friend. The two of you catch the dejected looks on their faces. Looks like it’s up to you to save the situation. 

“We’re still seeing each other for your album jacket shoot.” This slightly lifts their spirits but it’s still not the same as being able to hang out with them as friends. “We can have another dinner after the shoot. Celebratory dinner for finishing something big, y’know?” You admit. 

“Is the dinner on you?” Yeosang cheekily asks. 

“What are you talking about? I already paid for this dinner.” You return with a snicker. As proof, you raise the receipt up to their eyes, of course, you cover the price from them otherwise they’d pester you to no end. 

“What?! How did you--” San asks, clearly not remembering you leave the table to pay for the meal. 

You don’t reply to his confusion, opting to just shoot him a wink at your stealth. He shouldn’t have felt his heart skip at that but he did. Now that all of that is out of the way, you, Hongjoong and Seonghwa stand up, getting ready to leave, much to the dismay of everyone else. 

San takes his time to stand up, shrugging on his blazer after he stretches. “Looks like you ate well.” Your comment catches him off guard, doing nothing but confuse him. With how lost he looks, you take a piece of tissue and wipe his cheek. Just like old times. “You had a bit of sauce that somehow landed there.” He wishes he could walk you home like old times. 

Now that all of you were outside, goodbyes and hugs were exchanged with you. The amount of times you had to reassure them that you haven’t changed your numbers was insane that the two eldest members had to show proof to back you up. “Gah! You guys need sleep more than I do! I’ll see you boys in a few days' time.” 

They wait with you until you manage to hail a taxi before they make their own way back. While everyone was recounting the stories you told them and the stories they failed to share, San was in his own thoughts. 

[ San to You ] Thanks for today. Everyone misses you. 

[ You to San ] I missed you guys too, really. Get some sleep okay? You guys deserve it.

[ San to You ] Got it! Sleep well too ^^

His last message makes you smile at your phone, even at his mature age, his eye smile never seems to change. He hasn’t lost his optimism either it seems. You let yourself absorb the good energy from tonight for a few moments before keeping your phone away, letting out a breath you didn’t know you’ve been holding this entire time. 

Maybe hanging out with them outside work wasn’t such a bad idea.

---------

The past few hours leading up to the shoot had the boys teasing San. “Guys, come on. I don’t have feelings for them anymore.” He shoots back, half heartedly. He still does. 

“San, my guy, you had honey dripping from your eyes during dinner with them.” Yunho points out before sipping his coffee. 

“I didn’t!” 

Seonghwa just brings out his phone to show the photo he and Yunho took that night. It was obvious and there’s no denying from San about it. At the sight of the photo, he shuts up and eats his meal. Hongjoong watches his members act like young kids again but he holds no tension in his body this time. They’ve hit the point in their careers that any romantic relationship they have won’t heavily affect them. “San, just give it a shot this time.” He suggests carefully. This causes the former to look at him with wide eyes. The look prompts the older to explain himself. “San, you still have feelings for them. You know why they turned you down back then. Now that the two of you are in your respective fields-- and have grown, why not give it a shot? If they still say no then,” he shrugs. “Let them go. If they say yes this time, at least you gave it a shot right?” 

San’s ears are burning at this point. He wanted to ask you out, properly this time. He didn’t want to regret expressing his feelings but he didn’t want to be selfish about it either. Was Seonghwa right all this time?

“For everyone’s sake, San just ask them out after the shoot. I don’t think I can handle you whining about them any more.” Wooyoung snips. His words though sounding rather sharp, held no malice in them. They genuinely just want him to be happy beyond their passion to be on stage and perform. 

“Fine, fine but if it doesn’t work out?” 

“Hongjoong hyung and I will take ten shots of soju.” 

“I didn’t agree to that!”

--------

The boys enter the venue, now brightly lit as compared to their music video shoot. Their creative team always pulls through with these ideas and seeing your production house make them into reality is mind blowing. 

On one side of the building is lit up with various plant life and neon lights, very reminiscent of their older eras. A few meters away was another one, just as well lit though a little muted compared to the other. To the boys, they knew what this set was a reminder of, it would only mean that it would take a few hints before the fans understood what part of their concept this would be. The last one seems to be unfinished, the backdrop still rolled up with the spotlights still switched off. 

“Crap, how many versions are we selling this time?” Yeosang asks, dumbfounded by the amount of set designs in front of them. 

“Four versions this time.” The answer shocks all of them, surprised to see you behind them. “Did you guys get some good sleep?” You ask as you try to hide the snicker from their fright. Once they get over the initial fright, you gesture for them to follow you to the dressing rooms. There you’ll give them a rundown for today’s agenda. “If you noticed, the third set isn’t done yet. It’s easy to assemble but we wanted to know your opinions on it. The last one is ideally a free-for-all type of thing. Considering that this album’s going to be released near your fanbase’s anniversary, this is more visually very relaxed, just have fun. This version of the album also will carry the heaviest lore so…” You shrug. Their marketing team really knows how to rake in the cash. “We can have the set be up for today or we can save it for once all of you are done with the first two sets.” 

The members look at each other, merely communicating their opinions with raised brows, shoulders and the like. “Can we save it for after the first two sets?” Hongjoong asks. Their politeness never really went away even despite being seniors in this industry. 

With that said, you nod. “Consider it done. Now get changed. The clothes in the back are labelled depending on which set they’re for.” You gesture to the back. “The photographers have the mood boards with them for visual aid for you. I’ll wait for you guys outside the dressing room.” With that, you bid them goodbye for now before leaving the room to talk to the teams for the agenda. 

Now that the boys were left to their own devices with their stylists, they looked through the clothes. They decided to just split into two teams, just to make it easier for everyone. It seems that even their stylists weren’t surprised with their decisions as they immediately got to work. 

---------

One by one, the members trickle out of the room, leading them to their designated sets as they get to know the photographers. Some members were already restless inside the dressing room when they visited the others who were having their photos taken. 

There was music playing overhead to fill in the silence along with making sure to keep the productivity going for everyone. As Seonghwa has his photos taken in the muted set, San and Yunho are by the side, singing and dancing goofily, just to see how strong his control is. If that doesn’t work, they would look at how his photos come out, even helping out the photographer by giving advice to Seonghwa. As expected of the member, the photos come out well, even the candid ones, much to the pleasant surprise of the photographer. 

On the other set is Mingi. He somehow still manages to pull off the look while being with various plant life and neon lights. Hongjoong monitors his photos while Jongho is off to the side, taking photos of them as well. From time to time, Mingi would ask the photographer how the photos were coming and how he should position himself. While the photographer has no complaints, Hongjoong asks if he can try to suggest something. The former allows it so Hongjoong asks Mingi if he can try opening himself, instead of curling in this time. The members know the overall plot of their concept but Hongjoong knows it the best without spoiling anything to the fans. 

“What do you think so far?” Yeosang asks you as he’s the last to leave the room. You look over at him and you can easily tell that he had just woken up from a quick nap. 

“Good sleep?” you return lightly. “So far so good: Yunho and San joking around, Jongho taking photos, Hongjoong monitoring closely… hey where’s Wooyoung?” You ask once you realize the missing member (and noise). 

“Still in the dressing room, he wanted to grab a few more minutes of sleep.” Yeosang says. It’s only then that you realize how deep his sleep was from his tone. 

“Looking forward to really push the doberman agenda huh?” You muse, once you take note of what he’s wearing.

He looks down at what he’s wearing then flashes a proud grin. “Of course, even until now the fans consider me a maltese.”

You walk with him to his designated set, keeping away from the camera their manager holds to grab some footage for their youtube. “Do you guys still bark for the fans?” 

“Only Yunho and San do.”

That honestly doesn’t surprise you. “Anyways, I’ll leave you guys to it. Manager Bae seems to be recording for your youtube channel.” You say, patting his back, as you catch Yunho and Seonghwa talking about their album. You wanted to stay out of view, even though you knew they’d blur your face it’s for your comfort too. 

“Oh yeah,” he starts. “San’s looking at us.” You shoot Yeosang a look to which he shrugs. “Best to talk to him before he starts bouncing around.” 

At his suggestion, you steal a glance at the male who’s now pestering the two boys talking to the camera. Seeing that he wasn’t doing what Yeosang had just said, you return your eyes to the male, confused. He returns your look with his usual mischief. Goddammit. 

Whatever, you tell yourself as you make your way to the photographer, checking in on the material he has and if he needs a break. As he shows you the photos, both of you are pleased with how they all come out. He even shows a photo of Seonghwa that he caught shocked by the propped figure behind him. “Yunho’s next but I can wait.” He tells you, stretching his sore shoulders and arms. 

“You’re doing great. Hopefully we can finish the shoot in two days.” The two of you wait for Yunho to finish his thing with the members before calling him over for his shoot. Once you do, you linger around to make sure he and the photographer are on the same page. Just as you were about to head towards Wooyoung, you’re greeted by someone’s figure just behind you. “Holy sh--” you nearly shout, stopping yourself with a heavy sigh of relief. 

“Whoa, it’s just me.” He returns, taking a few steps back to give you space. Once you regain your composure, he flashes a bashful smile at how you shoot him a deadpan look. 

“You’re lucky I like you.” You mumble. 

San looks at you with a confused light in his eyes. “What?” 

You shake your head, changing the topic. “I’m going to check if Wooyoung’s awake. He’s probably right after Yeosang.” With that, you walk past him, gentling hitting his arm with your clipboard in retaliation.

He yelps at the sudden impact-- though it didn’t hurt. “What was that for?!” His tone tinted with faux insult by your actions as he follows you towards their dressing room. 

“For surprising the living daylights out of me.” It gets tricky to keep yourself from smiling once you notice him catch up to you. 

“I didn’t mean toooo.” He whines, stopping by the door as you peek inside the room. 

There you see Wooyoung getting his makeup done. “Sorry!” He apologizes earnestly. You shake your head, not minding his apology. You can only imagine how packed their schedules are now as the preparations for the new music is looming around the corner now. 

“All good, just had to check on you. Just come to the set once you’re ready okay?” You remind him. As he’s unable to move his face, he flashes a thumbs up. He catches San peeking over your shoulder, he says nothing to this but the look in his eyes results in San making a face at him. Now that’s out of the way, you turn your attention to San now. “So how have things been huh?” 

“Been alright, felt weird that you left.” He admits. He just doesn’t beat around the bush anymore. 

You look at the set for a moment, lively boys and music playing overhead. They won’t hear the two of you. “I’m sorry about that… leaving with no word from me.” Your voice is a little softer this time. He doesn’t mind your apology. You had your reasons after all. 

“It’s okay, hey I get why you had to do what you did.” San quickly returns. 

“Please know that I didn’t leave because of you.” You add before he could possibly start jumping the gun. 

He stops there, surprised by what you had just said. Before he could even ask you to explain, Hongjoong calls him over to ask for his opinion on something. 

“We can talk later.” Your tone leaves no room for arguments, heading over to the rest of the staff to check on what they need to attend to in the next few days. He watches your hesitant visage shifts into something more confident. Crazy how things change. 

He watches you attend to your work before he heads back on set. Time to get back to work.

---------

“Thank you for your hard work!” The voices of the eight members echo through the venue. Their voices were returned with applause and cheering from the staff. You check on the photographers immediately after the words of praises have been exchanged. The photos have been backed up on the computers and hard drives. From there, you tell them that they can leave now, to leave the pack up to the rest of the staff. 

With that, you keep the memory cards and cameras in a safe place, before stepping out of the office to help with packing up. By now, it’s probably night time. Truthfully, you didn’t keep track of the time, it only makes you more exhausted if you did. You pick up the tables first with your co-staff, carrying up somewhere out of the way but still easy to put back in pace for day 2 of the shoots. 

The backdrops have been rolled up as well, all the heavy lifting were being dealt with by the other staff. You notice the lack of eight loud voices and check on the dressing room if they had to rush to another schedule. 

You peek in and they’re still there, just now in casual clothes. “Sorry, had to check if this room was clear already or not. No rush!” You explain as you leave the room quickly, a little embarrassed. You get back to work, unclipping the gel sheets from the spotlights. At least you don’t burn your hands this time as you put them on the table next to you. 

You finish folding or rolling the gel sheets into the containers. One on your hands, the other pushed forward by your feet. While you were strong enough to carry heavy duty gear, your hands can only carry so much. Additionally, you didn’t want to do repeated trips back and forth, spare mercy to your sore legs and back. 

A man comes to your assistance and for a moment you thought it was one of your co-workers. “Ah thank y-- San?!” You look at the male in surprise, you thought they would’ve left by now. 

“We figured you guys might want some help.” San explains as he hoists the second container in his arms. We? You look around and you see members helping carrying gears into the storage rooms or offices. 

“You guys didn’t have to…” You mumble, one part touched and one part concern. They’ve worked so hard yet they’re here willingly helping out. 

“We wanted to. You guys work hard too. that it would be good if you guys get some rest too.” 

You had a feeling that he wanted to talk about something also, based on how careful his words were. This time, you don’t close yourself to what his thoughts are. Once you lead him to the storage room for the lights, you put the container on top of other crates. You made a mental note to make an updated inventory list with how many empty crates this room had. Once your arms are free, you take the container from San, propping it on the table. All that’s left to get were the lights.

Once his hands were free, he hid his hands in his hoodie’s pockets. “I, uh, was wondering, if you wanted to go out soon? Of course, when you’re free also..” San asks, hesitance slowing his words down. You have a feeling this outing has some sort of weight behind it but you don’t say anything for now.

 “It’s just the two of us?” As if it was no big deal. 

“I mean, if you want it to be with the members, it’s fine too.” San doubles back on his words, feeling embarrassed for feeling like the same kid a few years back. 

You shake your head at the second offer. Maybe giving him a chance this time wouldn’t be so scary. “Sounds like a plan. You still have my kakao don’t you?” You ask, taking the container from his hands. 

It was a good thing you took the container from him as he freezes up in surprise at your willingness. “Uh-” he clears his throat to regain his composure. “Yeah, I do! When do you want to hang out?” 

“Next week? How does that sound?” He genuinely hopes he isn’t dreaming from this point on. “

“Sounds good.” He’ll clear out the day just for this. 

You flash a smile at him as you let him leave the room first. “Awesome, let’s finish up cleaning so we can get some rest?” 

When the two of you return, your higher op tells you to leave the stands where they are. For easier assembly for the next shoot. 

“Next shoot?” You get a little nervous, unaware of this schedule. Did you forget about this?

“Relax. It’s an outdoor shoot for an advertisement. It’s just easier for everyone if it’s already out and ready to go.” Probably not one of your assigned projects then. With that, everyone bids each other farewell. The boys splitting from you and Hwayoung to head to their apartment. 

Now that everyone else is out of earshot, Jongho breaks the silence. “I think Hyung asked them out.” The spaced out smile on San’s face is a giveaway to how the conversation goes. Yet, knowing the members, they wanted to make sure. 

“What did they say?” Wooyoung prods. 

“We’re meeting next week.” San simply states, and immediately Wooyoung jumps and shakes his friend gleefully. It’s thanks to Seonghwa that the dazed boy doesn’t fall over from Wooyoung’s antics. 

--------

On the days leading to your meet up, the two of you agreed to meet somewhere away from the crowds. Now that today’s the day, you stroll around the area waiting for him. You weren’t sure if you’re expecting him to ditch due to schedules or hoping for him to come. This area feels new to you, one part of your mind stays aware of where you’re going and where you are while the other shuts off as you stroll and look through the shops that line your sight. 

[ San to You ] Be there in five minutes! 

You look at the message then at the time. Not a big deal, you supposed. 

[ You to San ] Don’t rush. Just as long you arrive safely. 

[ San to You ] You’re there already? 

It looks like it’ll be a lengthy text conversation so you step away from the foot traffic, on the fence of either exploring some more or heading to the meeting spot. 

[ You to San ] Yeah, I got curious so I explored for a bit. 

Three minutes. You decide to walk back to the meeting spot. 

[ San to You ] I’ll show you this new food place I found when I was with Wooyoung and Seonghwa. 

You could actually picture how excited he was and you had to bite your lip from smiling like a fool at your phone. 

Someone taps your shoulder and for a split second you think it could be a lost foreigner. When you turn on your heels, it’s San. This time he’s in loose clothes, an oversized white shirt tucked into dark blue slacks like bottoms. For once he isn’t in black. 

“This is the first time I’m not seeing you in black, I think?” you comment, giving him a thorough look. Well save for his bag, he wasn’t in anything in black.

He flashes a pose at your words. “I wanted to change it up for once, does it suit me well?” He asks, spreading his arms to let you look at him properly. 

There’s something about his outfit that makes you smile. “Yeah, I like it.” You shouldn’t have the urge to squeeze his cheeks upon seeing his dimples but here you are. Now that the greetings were out of the way, he holds on to your shoulders, gently steering you at the direction of this restaurant he mentioned in your text. “So what’s up with this restaurant that you like so much?” 

Once the two of you are walking, he pulls his hands away from you. “Well, for starters, their stews are great. All of their ingredients are fresh.” He goes on about this restaurant that he’s been so in love with lately. A small part of you wonders if this is one of those restaurants he visited for his individual content. You guess you’ll find out eventually. With that, you let San talk excitedly about food, how he’s finally able to get away from the boys even for a few hours. He’s not one to talk a lot but when he does, he talks. With that said, you don’t mind listening to him, you spend too much time having to talk to others (for a living) that listening for a change isn’t so bad. Besides, you know for sure you’ll have to do your share of talking once you arrive at this restaurant. 

He spots the restaurant a few meters ahead of you and he starts to bounce a little on his feet. “Do you see the restaurant with the red lettering with a crab?” He asks. There’s something in his tone that makes you walk a little faster, just for his sake. 

“We’re going there?” You ask in return. He takes a few steps forward, already slightly ahead of you. You can tell he already wants to run towards the franchise, and you can already imagine just how good the food could be to elicit such a reaction from him. From there, you decide to just follow him to the restaurant, amused by his excitement for food. 

The restaurant looked homey; wooden chairs and tables, with dividers per table for privacy, with some songs playing overhead. Some tables were occupied with what seems to be families and friends, tables covered with various stews and seafood that come in various vivid colors and flavors. It makes sense why San would love this place. 

The two of you get settled down on a table a little further away from any eyes. You weren’t entirely sure of what to order either that you let San introduce you to the meals available instead. This of course, makes him beam even brighter. “Anything I should be wary of?” You admit to being wary of certain things; it’s not that you’re allergic but because you rarely have them. That alone gets his head working and already he knows what to order to share with you and for your solo meals. 

As the two of you wait for your meals, your eyes wander around the place--, partly out of curiosity and partly because well… you’re a little shy of the mere fact it’s just you and him. The male across you lets you take in the interiors of the place for a few moments before speaking up. “So, how have things been?” It was a genuine question, one filled with wonder if life has been better for you. 

This is probably your cue to fill him in on as much as you can without anyone overhearing the two of you. You fill him in on the months you were jobless, not because you couldn’t find a job but because you just needed to rest badly. You stayed on your own still but you were able to meet your friends in those few months, recharging and taking care of your health after who knows how long. You’re into new hobbies as well, making bracelets or keychains, which fortunately also gives you a bit of extra cash. At the mention of the crafts you’ve been making, you show the simple beads that wove around your wrist, along with the purple and green woven keychain that’s attached to your phone case. 

“You learned all of that.. Over the months of no work?” San asks. Truth be told, when he’s on hiatus, he either just plays games, work out, or sleep. He learns things too for the sake of becoming a better performer but crafts never crossed his mind. “And yet, you know how to deal with production work?” 

“I did tell you I knew a thing or two when it comes to the industry. My tolerance to things is just something I need to work on.” You admit as you keep your phone away. One by one the food arrives. It’s only when you’re greeted by the stew that you realize how hungry you are. “Fill me in on your life too.” You quickly add before the two of you get side tracked by the various dishes that slowly fill up your table. 

As he hands you your utensils, he starts to tell you stories of their recent milestones and albums. The way he finds himself improving as a person and as an artist. He admits to some dips in self-confidence though not as bad as they used to be. After all, at the end of the day, he’s still a regular human with their ups and downs. He tells you as well of the acting gigs he’s been doing, even did a few radio shows on his own. In typical fashion, he even exposes some of his members, what they’ve been doing, what they’re planning, and the like. Were you surprised though? Not quite, in fact you can see a bit of Jongho’s influence in his mannerisms of exposing members. Those two were doing amazing in the drama scene after all. 

“Oh yeah! Speaking of dramas, I heard from a little birdy that you were interested in taking up a horror thriller drama role?” You say before taking a small mouthful of noodles. This question flusters him slightly but he flashes a smile so bright, his dimples make an appearance. 

“Yeah,” he starts as he looks for the crab meat in his meal. “If the director thinks I’m perfect for the role then why not right?” He lets himself eat for a few moments before continuing to speak. “Though, if Seonghwa-hyung gets the role instead of me that would be funny.”

“He still can’t handle horror?”

“Him and Mingi.” 

That’s how the rest of the meal goes. The two of you sharing stories and jokes from the years you’ve been out of touch with each other. It’s a feat that San still plushies on his bed, some of which he had given away, some still with him after all these years. He’s just as amazed as you are for you. 

It takes an hour or two before the food is finished. You’ve kept note of this place in your phone, wanting to come back here on your own in the near future. “Speaking of, did you feature this place in your individual content?” 

“I have! It’s just going through post processing with the staff so expect it soon.” He chirps, beaming at how you remembered his individual content. 

After he pays for the meal (which you will pay back through desert), the two of you walk around the area. He shows you where he gets his clothes, stuff Mingi has showed him as well. In some shops, he proceeds to complain about how some of his members have taste that’s too expensive for him. In response to that, you stare at his bag. You may not be as well off as he is, but you can tell a luxury brand when you see one-- his bag being one of them. 

“This was a gift from Yunho!!” He tries to defend himself, which was pretty useless knowing how he had set himself up for that. Besides that, the exploring was fun. The two of you inevitably bought a few things. It was a little funny though, to see a foreigner try to flirt with San and seeing San try to shake them off by pretending to not speak any English. Once you two leave the shop, he immediately asks if the two of you could head somewhere for dessert. 

“Even until now, huh?” You tease him. 

“Sh..” 

You don’t need to see him to see his red ears. You know him well enough for that. 

Now you’re here in a bingsu cafe, sharing a strawberry and mango bingsu with him as rivers of people pass by beneath you. It’s a lot calmer now, the jitters of meeting up with an old friend having faded now. Your chats have mellowed down as well. Some topics seem to fit a night of drinking soju in the comfort of one’s home until the sun rises up. There were things that he needed your thoughts about certain things in his line of work. Not that he doesn’t get them with his own members but the unbiased approach you have also helps him in more ways than he can imagine. There are also things that the two of you needed to discuss, things that neither of you should be running away from. 

“What you said in the set..” He trails off. You look up from your meal at his words, waiting for him to expound. “You didn’t leave because of what happened between us?” He asks, his eyes stay glued to the half eaten bingsu. There’s doubt in his mind that he’d be able to face how you look with this topic. 

You do owe him an explanation. You set down your utensils first before speaking up. “San, I left the company cause I couldn’t keep up with the deliverables… it took a toll on my health.” It was an explanation that San kind of didn’t expect. While you didn’t delve into all the details, you gave him enough for him to understand the gravity.  It only takes his expression for you to connect the dots. “You thought you were a reason for my departure?” San couldn’t really say much, only eating his share in guilty silence. “San, you weren’t a reason for that. Sure it was stressful but I can take on workmates having a crush on me as compared to deliverables that needed to be sent out at crazy times.” He still feels a little burdened, but you can’t really do much for that. It’ll take a while before the guilt really washes away, he carried this belief for so long, unlearning that would take a while. “You’re not a burden, I promise you that. Never were, never will be.” Truth be told, any shortcomings he’s had have been forgiven and forgotten. You truly believe he’s grown since you last heard from him. 

He flashes a small smile, and you know it’s taking a lot of his strength to not cry. San catches the look of mild alarm in your face and beats you to it. “I’m not going to cry here, I promise.” As he says this, he proceeds to blink profusely to keep the tears at bay. You slipping a piece of tissue towards him catches his eye and he laughs lightly at the thoughtful deed. “Thank you.” He holds onto it to reassure you and to make sure he doesn’t cry in public. He’ll save the tears when he’s in the privacy of his own room. “Now, help me create a cave with this bingsu.” The man across you states, picking up his spoon again. You look at the half eaten bingsu and he’s right, for some reason he started at the edge then started digging downwards. 

“San, this cave is going to fall.” You state, a little fearful of a possible mess that could happen if you indulge in his wish. 

“Do you not have faith in me?” He asks, visibly hurt by your alarm now. Your gaze carries disbelief and you decide to indulge but on one condition.

“If this falls, you’re buying my coffee on the way home.” 

“Call.”

--------

“Do you wanna do this again? Some other time?” San asks. It’s a little frustrating that the two of you don’t live under the same roof (technically) anymore but it does make the time spent a little more precious. 

Your eyes widen at his invitation but soften up once it registers in your head. “Yeah, I’d like that. Message me?” You ask, raising your phone up. The train’s arriving soon and that means a surge of people. You take a quick sip of your nth cup of coffee for the day before you brace yourself for rush hour. You did reassure San that your coffee tasted sweeter because it was his money. 

“Of course. Send me a message when you get home okay?”

The two of you quickly give the other a hug, just in time for the train to arrive. San stays near the wall, away from the incoming foot traffic from both ends of the station. He watches you enter the train, staying near the window so that you could still clearly see each other. Even at a distance, San pulls a few faces at you to which you try to stifle the laughter that wants to spill from your lips. The doors close and you wave goodbye to him. He does the same, his thumb and pinky outstretched as if to say to expect a message or a call from him soon. The last thing he sees before the train whirrs away is a thumbs up and your smile. 

He lets the rush hour crowd dissipate first before making his way to his own train ride home. Somewhere along the way, he receives a message. 

[ You to San ] I got home! 

[ You to San ] proof.jpg

It was a photo of the clothes the two of you bought along with the coffee he bought for you, spread across the table in your place. A small air of laughter slips out of him at how you arranged the photo in your typical manner after a long day.

[ San to You ] clapping_ryan.emoji

[ San to You ] thumbs_up_apeach.emoji

 It’s hard to shake the feeling that the members would annoy him about today. 

--------

The door beeps a melody at his return, and already he’s greeted by some of the members playing video games in the living room. It looks like Mingi somehow managed to doze off on the massage chair despite the chaos in front of him. Yeosang who was just an audience to the entire thing notices his return and beckons him over to sit with them to watch. It was a tight match between Wooyoung and Yunho from the looks of the score.

“How was the date?” Yeosang asks before offering a piece of chicken to the now seated member. “It wasn’t a date.” San states, he wonders how many times he had to get this through their heads. Regardless, he takes the offered chicken pop. “Not the usual salt and pepper today?” He asks, a little surprised with the change of flavor. The other shrugs nonchalantly at the change. “Promo plus GC. You know I had to do it.” He looks at San with a raised eyebrow. “It looks like a date though.” 

Somehow, San didn’t want Yeosang to expound on what that meant. It’s good to keep your hopes up but this is different. 

“Are you going to see them again?” Yeosang asks, the two of them suddenly jumping when Wooyoung manages to score another point against Yunho. The entire room erupts into cheers. They peer over at Mingi and he’s still deep in slumber on the massage chair. 

Now that they’ve mellowed down and Yunho has called for a round 2, San returns to their topic. “If we have time then yeah.” 

-------

It wasn’t a matter of if the two of you have time. It was a matter of how the two of you will meet. By some strange feats of stubbornness and quick thinking, the two of you somehow manage to meet with each other still after schedules. Of course, depending on how tired the other is, it was usually just San decompressing at your apartment. 

The two of you have grown closer than before. Not a day passes without either of you sending each other messages at the start or end of one’s day. Today, San asked if he can stay for the night after a CF shoot. Even though you’ve said before that you don’t mind him coming over just as long as he gives you a heads up, he still asks. 

Now, he’s spread eagle across the floor, relishing on the cool feeling of your flooring after such a long day. “San, I’m pretty sure your massage chair might be more comfortable than my floor.” You say, as you set down some snacks on the table. 

“We may have a massage chair in the dorm but we don’t have a Lily.” He states. Lily’s your pet ragdoll that’s been with you now for half a year. The little one was also resting on San’s abdomen. The image in front of you makes you laugh. 

“I guess so, but will Lily really help with your muscle knots?” 

“Her purring can.” 

You roll your eyes at how weak he gets for cats. “Go get washed up. Your spare clothes are in my room. I promise, her purring will feel much better when you get out of your work clothes.” Before he says anything to stay put, you already got Lily’s favorite toy ringing clear in the room. The dainty bell already catches the feline’s attention and she hops off of him before he can say anything. 

“Fine, fine.” His voice is tinged with an exhausted whine but you’re right; loungewear after a long day does feel nice. With that, he pushes himself off the floor and makes his way to your bathroom. 

Now that he’s gone, you tire out your little zooming companion for some time, playing catch with her as she bounces around the room, catching her favorite ball over and over. In the course of throwing the ball repeatedly and tiring out your favorite girl, thoughts run in your mind. You’ve talked about this with Jiwoo recently but you never got to talk about this with Seonghwa or Hongjoong. With Lily still whacking at the small ball around, chasing it around the room, you decide to send Seonghwa a message. 

[ You to Seonghwa ] Hey remember that question you asked me when you and Hongjoong visited me? 

[ Seonghwa to You ] Yeah, what’s up?

The bathroom door unlocks and it’s sudden enough for you to jump out of your seat. You couldn’t think of a reply to make yourself look busy when San comes back after a shower and in a fresh set of clothes. Adrenaline runs hot in your body now. 

“San, I have a question..” Your voice is careful and it already puts San on edge, wondering what could be in your head to suddenly sound so hesitant. Just earlier, you were teasing him and playing around with Lily. He worries what could’ve happened in his absence. 

“Yeah?” San returns, repositioning himself to listen closely to whatever’s bothering you. He sits across you, tearing open a bag of snacks. 

“You still have feelings don’t you?” 

“What if I do?” 

This time there’s nothing that twists in you.

Part 9

[tawneybel]

Okay, I haven’t written a personal post in a while because I’ve been focused on schoolwork. Right now I’m super busy with a project where I have to read and evaluate lots of research articles. :( At least my academic writing is improving. 

Ugh, I accidentally deleted my extensive review of Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux. It was a really good book and I finished that page turner months ago. It’s easy to see why it has numerous adaptations and has influenced countless media in the Anglosphere alone. Perhaps even Heathers and Saw, what with the Erik’s plan to explode the opera house and the rosy hours of Mazenderan. 

Sadly, the rest of Leroux’s bibliography seems to only be well known in French-speaking places. When I get around to getting a passport and go to Quebec I might duck into a library real quick. Even though she’s my fave mystery writer, I gotta read more detective fiction other than Agatha Christie. 

For something rated PG, The Dark Crystal sure is dark. Not as bad The Adventures of Mark Twain being G-rated, though. I prefer its spiritual successor, Labyrinth. If I’d seen Labyrinth as a child that would have become one of my favorite movies, up there with Alice in Wonderland 1951 and The Wizard of Oz. Audiences need less CGI, more puppetry and animatronics! 

I kind of want a Skeksis. (And maybe a Fizzgig, too.) Buzzards get a bad rap. We get flocks of turkey vultures and they’re kind of cute despite the smelliness. Let them scavenge! From now on, whenever I want the last slice of pizza or something: “TRIAL BY STONE!” 

“Watch your tongue, harridan, we are lords of the Crystal.” Next time I roleplay I’m going to try to get the bae to say something like that to me. 

When Aughra sat down in front of the Skeksis table, I honestly thought she was going to go to the bathroom. XD She and Kira were my favorite characters, though. Are wings like the Gelfling equivalent of b00bs?

The God Emperor of Dune was kind of a let down. And I couldn’t get into Heretics at all. When I was in middle school I checked out one of those but I can’t remember which then years later I read both Dune and Dune Messiah twice. I’m not sure if “get” Dune now but they were definitely too advanced for young teen Tawney.  

Ever since I found out The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy parodied this franchise, I wanted to read Dune. “Mandy the Merciless” and the gom jabbar from “My Fair Mandy” are so much funnier now.

1,000+-year-old Leto’s slow transformation into a giant sandworm monster was something I was expecting to be hot but it was eh. Obviously, Frank Herbert didn’t intend for it to be bodacious. However, there are certain charming aspects to the Tyrant. 

“Do not search for parts of me which no longer exist. Some forms of physical intimacy are no longer possible for me.” (But can Leto Atreides still perform cun/nilngus?)

“Everything about her reaffirmed his awareness that she was precisely the kind of woman who, if he had grown to normal manhood, he would have wanted (No! Demanded!) as his mate.” (Kind of jealous of Hwi, TBH.) 

He looks like this in one of the miniseries:

One of my friends came over and got introduced to A Nightmare on Elm Street. The first time I watched that movie, I hadn’t really watched any other slashers. Now I can say Nancy is one of my fave final girls. 

Some highlights from our commentary:

“Everybody runs stupidly in this movie. Is that Freddy’s k!nk?”

“How the f*ck could someone…” “We’re sw!ngers, Nancy!”

“How can [Glen] be h0rny at a time like this?” “Anyone can be h0rny on main if they try hard enough.”

“You look deep in thought.” “I am. I want to know the lore.” “If I ever get cheated on, I’m going to say ‘You’re deep in thot!’”

“I just want my hat and glove back. I feel so nak3d without them.” 

The first shot of A Clockwork Orange had me hooked. I loved the sets so much. The book was on my to read list and then the kid who sat next to me in Latin showed me why he was having trouble reading it. That futuristic slang. After watching the film, its source is back on the list. At least everyone talks normally once Alex goes to prison. 

I like when fictional gangs wear “go to hell” clothes but those were douchesuits Alex and his buddies were wearing. I’m glad he got whacked in the balls. Even if it was by the creepy Mr. Deltoid. Well, he’s -nowhere- near as bad as the protagonist. Alex is an interesting character because he’s amusing but possesses zero likability. And you don’t even feel sorry for him. There was something really satisfying about seeing him bl00dy on the ground. How the hell did he convince those two girls at the record store to go back with him for speed s3x? 

More commentary highlights:

“This happens in real life.” “In those outfits?!” “Yes.”

“They’re not very nice people.” “Why would you say that?” “He’s p33ing in front of us.”

*Alex has his hands down his drawers* “Look at that!” “I’d rather not.”

*cat lady doing her stretches* “Do you think she’d get along with Angela [Martin]?”

*discussing the sculpture* “How do you think Malcolm McDowell explains this in interviews?” 

Sleeping Beauty was rewatched for the first time since I was very young. It was one of my favorite Disney movies but Aurora wasn’t my favorite princess. That honor went to Ariel. Now I’d say Tiana and Belle are my faves because they get stuff done. I want Disney to go back to cartoon fairy tales sooo bad. Aurora’s sweet and likable but her godmothers are more interesting. I want Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather merch now. Also, was that the broom from Fantasia? 

Maleficent and her minions apparently don’t meet up with her often enough to properly confer information. XD She’s into b0ndage and I ship her with Phillip now. Somehow the fact the prince was a total babe went over my head. He was kind of handsy with Briar Rose during their first meeting, though. 

Lifechanger couldn’t really hold my attention, which is a shame because I love shapeshifting so much. I expected the MC to possess his victims but it’s okay he didn’t. But the absorption could have been more unsettling, they could have shown more of it. 

This post is getting long so I’ll write about The Silence of the Lambs and Scream: Resurrection in the next one. 

Song of the Day: “Riding” by Tiny Jag and “Girl in the Machine” by Dedderz.

[pikapeppa]

Dragon Age Question Meme

Tagged by @galadrieljones - thanks lethallan!  This is a long one - I’ll continue it under a cut. 

Tagging forward to @schoute @viktuuri-fluff-saved-my-life @thevikingwoman @buttsonthebeach @charlatron @mrscullensrutherford @oops-gingermoment @iarollane @aban-asaara @irlaimsaaralath @wardsarefunctioning and anyone else who wants to play!

01) Favourite game of the series?

I haven’t played Origins yet, but between DA2 and DA:I, Inquisition is my jam! I’ve played it 3 times already and I’m not yet tired of it! So many places to explore, and I still haven’t heard all the banter yet, and the lore is just so rich, so many codex entries, yes yes.

02) How did you discover Dragon Age?

Basically all my Horizon Zero Dawn friends insisted - INSISTED - that I play Inquisition. For some reason I thought I wouldn’t like it, like “ahh everyone says it’s so great, how great can it be.” WELP LOL. I have no regrets, but my HZD friends might, given how HORRIBLY OBSESSED I have become LOL. 

03) How many times you’ve played the games?

- Origins: 0 times, but looking to rectify that this year! - DA2: 1.5 times. Ughhh Act 2... - DA:I: 3.5 times and still loving it!

04) Favourite race to play as?

Elf. Hands down. I played a Trevelyan once and was like MEH BORING.

05) Favourite class?

MAGE. MAGE MAGE MAGE. Although I’ve been playing as Fenris a lot in DA2 and it’s surprisingly fun!! Good thing too since I’ll have to be a two-handed warrior during my Fenquisition playthrough

06) Do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time?

I’ll answer for Inquisition. There are some things I always do the same (e.g. Bull saving the Chargers, allying with Abelas, making Solas APPROVE OF ME LMAO), but other things I alternate. I’ve gone with the mages and the Templars twice, respectively; I prefer picking the mages, it just makes more sense and is more “ethical” to me, but I ADORE COLE and I think the whole envy demon storyline is very interesting, so I quite enjoy siding with the Templars too. I have done something different each time at the Winter Palace, and this time I plan to do something different yet again. I strongly prefer Cole as a spirit, but I’ve had him as a spirit and as human twice each. 

My Fenris-as-Inquisitor playthrough will be interesting. I’ll be playing in character as him, so it’s going to be quite different than what I canonically do, and I’m quite interested to see what happens. Solas is going to hate me oh god

07) Go-to adventuring group?

- DA2: FENRIS and Anders, and then I alternate my rogues. I love both Varric and Isabela, but depending on how far into my Fenris romance I am, I often have to leave Isabela behind because I HATE WATCHING HER FLIRT WITH MY MAN <sobbing> - Inquisition: SOLAS, Cole and Blackwall is my favourite group, but I also love bringing Cass instead of Blackwall - I love Cass and Cole’s banter. But Solas and Cole are my FAVOURITE PAIRING. I could listen to their incomprehensible chatter forever.

08) Which of your characters did you put the most thought into?

Damn. Umm... I put equal amounts of thought into Elia Lavellan (romanced with Solas), Athera Lavellan (romanced Abelas) and Rynne Hawke (romanced with Fenris). Before I started writing those ships, the question I had to answer was this: Why would Solas/Fenris/Abelas love her? I know why Elia loves Solas, and I know why Rynne loves Hawke and why Athera admires and eventually loves Abelas. But what is it about those OCs that those men fall in love with? I build my OCs around the men in their lives, not the other way around. 

09) Favourite romance?

URGH WHY MUST YOU ASK ME THIS. GOD FINE. Fenris rivalmance, ok?? But I also love the Solasmance and the Blackwall romance to the point of swooning so just FUCK RIGHT OFF WITH THIS QUESTION THXBAI~

10) have you read any of the comics/books?.

Yes! Masked Empire and Asunder.

11) if you read them, which was your favorite book?

Masked Empire. I really liked getting more background on Celene/Briala and Gaspard (i.e. WHY THE FUCK I SHOULD GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE WINTER PALACE MISSION AT ALL). I loved Felassan and Briala’s dalen/hahren relationship. And it was just better written than Asunder.

12) Favorite DLCs?

Must agree with Gala here; Trespasser is bae, and Jaws of Hakkon is just beautiful (and also AMERIDAN <sob>). But I also liked Mark of the Assassin quite a bit! So amusing!

13) Things that annoy you.

The fact that it takes a MILLION YEARS to get banter in DA:I, and also that you can’t just click on your companions in DA:I whenever you like if you just want to hear their voice. I KNOW I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO CLICKED ON FENRIS CONSTANTLY TO HEAR HIM SAY “I enjoy following you”, OKAY? LIKE ALL I WANT IS FOR SOLAS  TO SAY “vhenan” TO ME WHILE WE’RE WANDERING THROUGH THE BLOODY WESTERN APPROACH

14) Orlais or Ferelden?

Ferelden? We seem to spend more time there. But I’m kind of neutral I guess.

15) Templars or mages?

Mages. Hands down. Sorry Templars.

16) if you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one?

All parallel universes. None of them coexist. Rynne Hawke doesn’t even coexist with any of my Lavellans because Fenris becomes the Inquisitor in my headcanon

17) What did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc)

I have only one pet, Hawke’s mabari, and his name is Toby. 

18) have you installed any mods?

Console only <sob>

19) Did your Warden want to become a Grey Warden?

n/a - haven’t played Origins yet!

20) Hawke’s personality?

PURPLE HAWKE, with a healthy dash of Isabela-level flirtiness. But Rynne (over?)uses humour to deflect pain and agitation and anger.

21) did you make matching armour for your companions in Inquisition?

...Maybe. 

HAHAH so I made matching colour armour for Elia and Solas, yes. And I generally like to dress both Cole and myself in black and red!

22) if your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change?  

Ohhhh.... fuck. This is tough. - Elia Lavellan (romanced Solas): ...surprisingly, nothing really. She’s got a pretty zen kind of ‘what will be, will be’ attitude. In her darkest moments she might regret falling for Solas, but overall, she doesn’t really regret anything. - Arya Lavellan (romanced Blackwall): nothing. She is very confident.  - Athera Lavellan (romanced Abelas): honestly, she questions half of her decisions half the time. After Trespasser, she regrets not dissolving the Inquisition. (I haven’t decided yet if she eventually does dissolve it after all; perhaps we’ll see what DA4 brings us).  - Rynne Hawke (romanced Fenris): a LOT of things. She regrets letting Bethany attack that ogre. She regrets not bringing Carver to the Deep Roads, because maybe then he wouldn’t have joined the Templars to spite her. She regrets not following up more closely on Emeric’s murder investigation because otherwise maybe her mother wouldn’t have died. She basically blames herself anytime anything bad happens with her family (including the Merry Band of Misfits). 

23) Do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon?

I actually quite enjoy sticking to canon for the most part, and expanding on facts that we already know. The one canon-ish(?) thing I don’t love is the idea of Dalish Inquisitors understanding or speaking a dialect of Elvhen that’s mutually intelligible with the dialect that Solas and Abelas speak. I let it slide in my Solavellan fics, but I mean, it’s been THOUSANDS OF YEARS between Arlathan and the Dragon Age. Dalish Elvhen (even if they have many many dialects, which is most certainly the case) is very unlikely to be mutually intelligible with ancient Elvhen. I’ve been meaning to write a full post about this for like a year oops

24) Are any of your character(s) based on someone?

They all contain some elements of self-insert, so... me, I guess? XD

25) Who did you leave in the Fade?

The first time I played Inquisition, I had not played DA2 yet, so I left Hawke in the Fade for LOGIC REASONS OK - Stroud was like the only senior Warden left, I thought they needed him! I’ve left Stroud there every time thereafter. 

26) Favourite mount?

Well, it WOULD be any and all the harts, except for that FUCKING HORRENDOUS SOUND THEY MAKE. I thus prefer to ride dracolisks for the Coolness Factor™. 

[pissedoffatouat]

His Unhappy Ending

when I first wrote this story after episode 3x15, I thought I was exaggerating with how sad it will continue to be. When I posted this story I even warned "this story is very sad".

The truth is, I should have written a warning: "This story is ALMOST as sad a OUAT".

Is there a word in the dictionary that means "a very long and very sad tale"? because that is what OUAT is.

I guess fairy tales are supposed to be cautionary tales with happy endings, and a "modern" fairy tale is a cautionary tale with the most depressing ending imaginable.

Caution: trust a man who switches sides at every opportunity (Hook), a man who will only take the side of "biggest bully in the playground" -someone like Peter Petigrew who "liked big friends who’d look after him", This man will eventually take you and use you to protect him forever.

My take is that Hook used Cora's "curse of the empty hearted" which makes a person thinks he/she loves you, and used it on Emma.

My take is that Hook found Zelena when he left the group to "go find his ship" because, in the EF, SHE was the biggest bully in the playground. He helped her by telling her all about the dark one dagger's lore and that "don't worry, Rumplestiltskin will give you his dagger, he loves his son *that* much" (Only Hook knew that. HE was in Neverland. He saw everything between father and son. Zelena alone wouldn't DARE take that risk.

If you compare OUAT to Harry Potter, Hook would be an evil mix of Lockheart and Peter Petigrew. Hook always had grand illusions of himself as a hero (like lockheart) he was useless when it came to magic or bravery (like lockheart AND like Pettigrew) and he switched sides at every oppertuniy, looking for the strongest one (like Peter P).

Rumple who was never loved as a child, and believed all his life that no one could ever ever love him, was despite everything "FULL OF LOVE." - yes, Rumplestiltskin is the Harry Potter of the series. Full of love - "the most powerful magic" He didn't WANT to fight monsters. he wanted a quiet domestic life. He was forced to fight when his loved one (Bae) was in danger. And when Henry was in danger - he cut off his shadow cold heartedly preparing his own death. Just to save a kid who he knew was the love of his son's life.

Sorry for my rant, but I NEVER believed that a show hailed as "all about hope and happy endings" would be sadder than this horrible fanfiction. Emma's ending was especially the saddest of all.

[obaewankenope]

The Gospel of the Anakin Apologist + The General Rudeness of Unrelated Comments on a Post

So @stonefreeak had an anon show up and whine about Padme. I and @sanerontheinside added our two cents in then *waves hands* SOME ASSHOLE shows up and wants to play ‘Anakin is a victim and Padme is a stupid ho and Obi-Wan is to blame for EVERYTHING EVER’ on the post even though, amusingly enough, it has no bearing on the discussion in the slightest.

Ergo I got vexed.

Actually all of us did bc wow stupid much.

The rest is under a read more because wow this got long and salty.

Also I’m tagging people so they can share the salt: @meabhair, @kyberpunk, @maawi, @markwatnae, @lilyrose225writes, @knight-kennedy, @punsbulletsandpointythings, @deadcatwithaflamethrower, @myurbandream, @jhaernyl :)

You see, we were discussing Padme as a female character and the double-standard around female characters being expected to be perfect and male characters essentially being able to do whatever the fuck they want so long as they’re pretty (pick a fandom, any fandom, you’re guaranteed to see the same dichotomy in treatment of male - female characters).

Apparently we can’t do that shit tho bc ‘oh no you’re blaming my bae!!!’ like wow, really fucking stupid much.

Anyway, to explain why I’m raging (why all of us are raging actually: it’s glorious to behold and I feel so blessed to experience the righteous fury of my spouses and friends) I personally feel like this particular person has literally pulled the embodiment of that “she doesn’t even go here” meme because whoa boy, their reblog does not belong here.

Now, in general I’m usually quite happy to let the morons roll on by like the sad little tumbleweeds of ignorance they are. But not when it’s on a post informing others of the behaviour and perception of gender/sex relations and treatment of characters in fandom. When you show up here and want to blame a single character who is flawed, especially just to venerate and excuse the behaviour of another flawed character... well, then I feel obligated to respond.

It’s not personal it is it’s just in my nature.

Okay so, first paragraph of their reblog (and subsequent stupid dialogue included) sums up the situation on Mustafar as ‘Padme should have been a good wife and sided with her genocidal husband who just helped wipe out thousands of lives (including children) bc she’s his wife’ and that ‘Obi-Wan is responsible bc he tried to do his duty as a Jedi’ and apparently that’s wrong as according to the Gospel of the Anakin Apologist.

Of course, they make a general, sweeping statement about Obi-Wan, describing him as a ‘fantastic space cop but an asshole friend and a person in general’ which, as I’m sure you’re all aware, shows a typical lack of understanding of what the Jedi are in universe, and also the background of Obi-Wan and Anakin’s interaction.

This isn’t unusual and I’m not gonna berate people for not knowing about the EU (Extended Universe) materials, or those damned benighted Junior Apprentice (JA) novels about Obi-Wan’s padawanship (and Anakin’s later on). The thing is though, there is plenty of information available about Obi-Wan, his background and so on on various websites -- Wookieepedia, to name but one -- so I don’t think it’s fair to be so quick to judge a character, any character, without understanding their background.

Even if this blogger is uninitiated into the ranks of SW lore and such, even if they only have the movies to go on, I still consider them to have a shockingly particular mindset and perspective of the relationship between the three protagonist characters.

So, here’s the thing, the below is a direct quote from their post. As you can see it’s... a particular perspective.

Padme should have sided with Anakin or Obi-Wan clearly when Anakin confronted her about Obi-Wan being on the ship, Obi-Wan killed Padme by appearing while they were talking, Padme might’ve been able to talk some sense into Anakin or join him, i guess Obi-Wan was afraid Padme would flip sides and decided to burst out with his “hello there” bullshit, if i was Padme i would have immediately said            “that fucker snuck on my ship i had nothing to do with this, take care of him my love!” or “oh shit, well i didn’t plan this Obi-Wan tag in!”            i know she was shocked and all that jazz but lady think on your feet, you went to meet your fugitive husband who just killed a academy full of space coplings on isolated planet and a space cop popped out of your trunk, use your words and use them quick! Anakin choking his wife in anger is understandable when you think of it from his perspective,           “ok im on the hide from the law(Jedi), ill contact my wife and get her to safety” “hi love i came alone as you asked”            “oh thank god for a moment i thought you might sympathize with the corrupt jedi” *Obi-Wan dumb ass pops out of the shadows* “hello there bitches!~~”            “wtf Padme?! you brought a cop to our meet out?! you do know i am wanted dead right!? You little bitch! i did this all so i could keep you alive and this is how you repay me? i killed younglings to get this power Padme fucking younglings! you ungrateful little bitch ill kill you!” “hey bro let her go you said you wanted to save her right? kind of doing the opposite right now”            “… god damn it i hate it when he is right, lets fight!”

First of all, they’re working on the assumption that Anakin was hiding from the Jedi. Second of all, that he was hiding from the Law(Jedi). Perhaps their memory has failed them, but I’ll provide a little breakdown of how the third movie actually went so they can understand that their initial narrative is... well, to put it plainly, ‘wrong and really wrong’.

1. Separatists vs Republic battle with Obi-Wan and Anakin going after Dooku. Dooku dies by Anakin’s hands after being disarmed (this is murder btw, rules of war mean that if your opponent loses or surrenders, then you don’t kill them -- this is generally considered a war crime). 

2. Obi-Wan and Anakin talk about stuff and then Obi-Wan heads off to chase Grievous alone. This is after Anakin has been put on the Council by Palpatine even though he’s only been a Knight for a while. The Jedi do not approve, Obi-Wan is cautious and advises Anakin to be careful (Anakin ignores him by the way and continues to be friendly with Palpatine).

4. While Obi-Wan is off after Grievous, Anakin has Palpatine’s identity revealed to him. Gets played into saving him from Mace and co in order to keep Padme alive (even though she isn’t dead by the way). Anakin then goes to the Temple with a collection of Clones and helps murder every Jedi there. He purposefully murders the children in the Council chambers. 

5. Obi-Wan is nearly killed after defeating Grievous because of Order 66. He escapes and hides. Meets up with Yoda and Bail. Goes to the Temple. Finds out that Anakin killed Jedi and is heartbroken by this fact. Then he goes to Padme after being tasked by his superior to go and defeat Anakin. He tells her the truth and she refuses to believe him.

6. Padme goes to meet with Anakin who is on Mustafar, drowning in his angst-ridden guilt of now having become an accomplice to genocide. Obi-Wan tags along, knowing that Anakin and Padme love each other so much that both would forsake their duties. He hides and Padme doesn’t know. Anakin doesn’t notice.

7. Padme rejects Anakin BEFORE Obi-Wan shows himself, because she realises he’s literally gone crazy. Then Anakin turns on Padme and chokes her into unconsciousness, even though she’s heavily pregnant and he ‘loves’ her. Obi-Wan gets Anakin to focus on him and they fight.

8. They fight to the point where Obi-Wan has the high-ground and Anakin does a stupid and gets his limbs cut off. Obi-Wan leaves him to burn to death (brutal) and goes to Padme. He takes her for treatment and instead watches one of his oldest friends die while her children are made into orphans.

9. Movie ends with Anakin becoming the giant suit version of Vader and Obi-Wan on Tattooine delivering Luke to his aunt and uncle.

Anakin isn’t evading the law, aka the Jedi, he’s killed them. Obi-Wan is the one evading the law because it wants him dead. Anakin is on Mustafar because Sidious told him to take out the Sep leadership. Padme meets him there after hearing the truth from Obi-Wan and only believes it when Anakin admits it himself. Then she rejects him. Obi-Wan does his duty as a Jedi -- sworn to destroy the Sith -- and the end is that Padme dies because Anakin loses his temper and lashes out at her.

I may be Anakin apologist but considering his situation he didn’t act out of character, id be pissed off too if i contacted my wife when i am in hiding and she brings a cop there (it seemed like that to Anakin since he didn’t know Obi-wan snuck on board) before i can explain myself to my wife

Firstly, you are an Anakin apologist and he did act out of character. His behaviour after discovering Sidious’ identity and stopping Mace from killing a Sith Lord is out of character. Anakin is a bright, kind and friendly child with a temper issue. Anakin is someone who hates injustice and despises the way some people are treated by others for no other reason than because of where they were born or who they were born to. He was a slave and then he became a Jedi; he went from victim to protector. His final character jump sent him from protector to oppressor. That’s not in character, that’s specifically cultivated and justified behaviour because he puts his own needs above absolutely everything else.

He also had the chance to explain to Padme. He didn’t deny what he did and Padme actively rejected him when she realised he wasn’t sorry for what he’d done ‘in the name of love’. You’re justifying abuse and don’t even realise it.

Think of it like this, in a galaxy where there are force powers etc shit you keep seeing horrible nightmares of your wife dying, your mother gets kidnapped by space isis and killed,             you butcher the village in retaliation and tell your wife about it, after which the greatest political figure of your “country” tells you that there is a way to save your wifes life from the faith that seems foretold (like someone offering you a cure for cancer when you think your wife has cancer),            the old dude tells you you have to do something to get the cure (equivalent would probably be extracting stem cells from kids spines or something lethal), well you love your wife and can’t let her die because love,            well you go and do the dirty deed like a loving husband would can’t let your honey bun die, now you’re kind of in hiding waiting for your old dude friend to wipe out the cops (rought shit but it will all be worth it when i save my wife from certain death),            you contact your wife and tell her to meet you in some backwater planet where you two can talk it out, you can tell her why you did it and you can finally save her from her faith, your wife finally arrives the joy we are finally together, listen wife the reason i killed the younglings is “Everybody down on the ground, the Jedi man has arrived!”,            all your efforts to get the cure, all you did in the name of saving your wife and she brings a cop to execute you (that’s what he thought and can’t blame him, how the fuck did she not know Obi-Wan snuck on board?)

Firstly, Shmi Skywalker was kidnapped and tortured by Tusken Raiders on Tattooine, not ‘Space ISIS’. The settlers on Tattooine are the proverbial invaders of a planet where the Tuskens are the natural species. So your metaphor is inaccurate and shows but a lack of understanding and also a clear desire to produce extreme sympathy for Anakin. We don’t know why the Tusken’s took Shmi but it’s generally considered unusual behaviour. We do know that they have attacked farms on Tattooine before and that they have been united by an ex-Jedi at one point when Obi-Wan was in exile. This is all we know. So you’re making an assumption that they’re evil terrorists when you don’t even have the material to back you up. 

Anakin killed an entire village of Tuskens, including women and children. There is no excuse for that. Unless you think it would be acceptable for a US soldier to execute the children in an Iraqi village because some of the inhabitants were part of Al Queda? 

Obi-Wan had already informed Anakin in Attack of the Clones that ‘dreams pass in time’ referring to Anakin’s recurring problems with his dreams about his mother. Anakin didn’t inform Obi-Wan of anything after that and so Obi-Wan has no knowledge. He tried to help, in his own way. Anakin’s behaviour and fear of what he dreamt about Padme drove him to extremes of behaviour -- the love he held for her is what destroyed him because he was so selfish as to refuse to let her go.

The dangers of attachment isn’t of falling in love, it’s in that love turning into obsession which is what happened with Anakin. Palpatine used Anakin’s fears of losing Padme to sway him into his service and with Mace’s death, sealed his fate and that of Padme. 

Do you honestly think Padme would have died had she not been choked into unconsciousness by her ‘loving’ husband on a boiling planet of death, after the revelation that her husband had willingly committed genocide because of his love for her? 

If you do then there’s no hope for you.

The dialogue of the Mustafar scene is below, read it and perhaps recognise that Anakin admits to having become obsessed with power and paranoid. Perhaps also recognise how Padme only rejects him after he says he’s going to overthrow the Chancellor and together they can rule the galaxy.

Padme: Obi-Wan told me terrible things Anakin: What things? Padme: He said, you’d turned to the Dark Side. That you... killed younglings? Anakin: Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me Padme: He cares about us Anakin: Us? Padme: He knows. He wants to help you... Anakin, all I want is your love Anakin: Love won’t save you Padme, only my new powers can do that Padme: At what cost? You’re a good person, don’t do this! Anakin: I won’t lose you the way I lost my mother. I am becoming more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of. And I’m doing it for you. To protect you Padme: Come away with me. Help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can! Anakin: Don’t you see? We don’t have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the Republic. I am more powerful than the Chancellor. I- I can overthrow him. And together you and I can rule the galaxy. Make things the way we want them to be Padme: [backs away, shaking head] I don’t believe what I’m hearing. Obi-Wan was right, you’ve changed Anakin: I don’t want to hear any more about Obi-Wan. The Jedi turned against me, don’t you turn against me Padme: I don’t know you any more. Anakin... you’re breaking my heart. You’re going down a path I can’t follow Anakin: Because of Obi-Wan?  Padme: Because of what you’ve done! What you plan to do! Stop! Stop now! Come back! I love you! Anakin: LIAR! Padme: No! Anakin: You’re with him! You brought him here to kill me! [Starts choking HIS WIFE] Obi-Wan: Let her go Anakin!

The end of this interaction is that Padme rejects Anakin for going power-mad, Anakin admits he’s become a stranger to her and then attacks her over a perceived betrayal -- out of character for someone who at the beginning of the movie thought Padme might have been cheating on him and then APOLOGISED for thinking such things in the first place. 

In conclusion to your post that I’m not going to ever reblog, but will link here so others can read it in full, I have to say that your ending paragraph is... well, a fantastic example of selective thinking and something I daresay several of my friends from my psych classes would have had a field day with the dispositional and situational bias you exhibit.

who nearly killed Anakin and Padme? Obi-wan freaking Kenobi, well done douchebag, be sure to lie to his son that Vader killed Anakin to pit a son against his own father, Obi-wan was a fantastic space cop but an asshole friend and a person in general, dude is the reason Luke’s father is a space cyborg and Padme is a corpse, but that’s not all let’s turn their son into a space cop and tell him to kill daddy cyborg, he’ll never know it was his father, if he did this could really backfire but who gives a shit ill probs be dead by then