#sorry abt this but i need to focus on academics

[the-hawthorne-heiress]

// going into a semi hiatus

[aropride]

august 30th 2024 >be me >send stats professor accommodations document in case i need it later in the semester >he doesnt respond but a lot of professors dont especially if theyre not super techpilled so i think nothing of it

last thursday >be me >miss test (migraine) (also dont have a calculator) (figured i didnt need it bc we were using excel for everything but apparently we need them specifically for exams) >"itll be fine he has online classes with the exact same material i can take one of those tests" >email him abt missing it and ask to take the online version

friday >he replies "can u do the test at another location [multiple hours on the bus btw]"

monday >"no sorry i cant. i have accomodations to take tests in a seperate space can i please do it online that would help me focus"

today >"its an on paper exam so i cant proctor it virtually"(YES HE CAN BTW THERES NO REASON HE CANT ASSIGN THE TEST FROM THE ONLINE VERSION OF THE CLASS TO MY PROFILE???) "i didnt get ur accommodations none of the emails i have from you mentioned this. how much extra time are you allowed. can you do it today at 10:45 and finish it after class" >i Do have an extra time accommodation too but i wasnt asking for that i was asking for a separate space. also YES I DID SEND HIM MY ACCOMMODATIONS I TRIPLE CHECKED THERES NO REASON IT WOULDNT HAVE GONE THRU >I JUST WANT TO DO IT NOT IN A CLASSROOM BEING WATCHED BY SOMEONE I DONT KNOW FOR SEVERAL HOURS IN DEAD SILENCE >BURST INTO TEARS IN THE SCHOOL LIBRARY AT 10AM ON A TUESDAY 💯 >now i dont want to go to class bc im scared bc i dont like feeling like im in trouble And i know i have to go and should probably talk to him after class But i dont want to im scared im tired i need to pass this class for gpa reasons and so i can get on the deans list so i can have the funniest academic comeback arc on earth and i dont have a fucking calculator

[murderballadeer]

howdy just wanted to say i agree w your tags on that wwii post about people disregarding the political context for like, “the fun parts” of history!! although i do think it’s important to add that like, within Actual Academia and not just the world of internet randos, Social History/Folk History is its own distinct subfield that was developed in response to the discipline’s previous near exclusive focus on broad, wide scale topics and the lives of the social/political elite, rather than day to day life. i don’t think you can have one without the other.

you can never understand the true impact of a war if you don’t know how everyday people’s lives were changed by its course, and you can never understand changes in social and household dynamics or culture without the broader sociopolitical context behind it. the problem is that one person can’t fully delve into everything, and so the collaboration between people who study social historians and military historians and political historians and anthropologist and archaeologists etc etc is what really makes history as a discipline function. i think the big issue is that most people on the internet see History as a fun silly hobby (which it can be!), but it’s also an incredibly important field of academia which people spend years and years learning to navigate effectively and ethically.

someone who dedicates years of their life studying, idk bronze age minoan ritual attire or the food and agriculture of colonial america is contributing just as much to the field as someone studying the egyptian civil wars which funded the minoan temples or the colonial violence inflicted by settlers. because they’re interconnected, and those people would collaborate. rather than just like, someone on the internet reading a few wiki articles and ignoring anything they don’t find interesting. which i honestly don’t think is the end of the world, if it is just a hobby

anywayyy sorry for the essay in your ask box omg i really hope this didn’t come off as argumentative at all!! i’m simply a social historian who is very passionate about the validity of my field :3

i totally agree! i don't study history academically but i do study anthropology and as a result i've had to engage with some social history articles/research for my assignments & i definitely think it's an important field! & to your point abt needing both i'm 100% in agreement, it's rly one of those things where you can't understand one without the other. i was thinking of the genre of person you meet (online primarily but i've met them irl as well) who considers themself a "history nerd" but is disdainful of military and political history -- to me they're on a similar level to the for lack of a better term "history bros" who only care about tanks and nuclear bombs bc it's just the other side of refusing to engage with the side of history they personally find boring even though ignoring that is giving them an incomplete understanding of the past. very much appreciate some perspective from someone who knows this topic much better than i do -- have a great day!! :)

[moonjxsung]

hi star my little moonlit angel 😔💖💖

aa im having like the most stressful week and idk where to talk abt it so i hope you dont mind me dumping for a sec :((

exams are killing me rn and idk if its finals week or my final week cs holy shit i am dying ���😭

ive been pulling all nighters trying to get all my projects and group studies done and my exams are DEF not helping in my case and idk if ive even been eating properly there's probably a spoiled banana from last week in my bag somewhere atp 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️ (im going mentally insane)

i havent even properly been on tumblr in a while and my social media is blowing up w notifs and dms from friends and ive been too busy to check it either tbh

honestly im hoping itll all turn out well by next week cs is my winter break 🤧

on another note i wanted to dump on my exes when all your anons were doing it but i was too scared to but now i genuinely need to tell u abt this because umm

my fwb is like a super nice guy and ive been friends w him for a while but i recently found out hes rlly good friends with one of my exes ⁉️

basically i asked (my ex) out once and he said yes and i thought we were chill but a few friends ended up asking him if we were dating like two days later without asking me for confirmation first and he said no.. (??)

i assumed he js didnt want like a too public relationship with everyone knowing so to clarify i asked him what was up and he said he ended up having second thoughts on me because his friends called me a red flag and he doesnt like the fact that i have guy friends and im close with them.... (💀💀)

so then i said oh okay..? 😭 and was over it but almost a month later he asked me out and atp he just gave me the icks so i made an excuse saying that i wanna focus on academics and not do anything relationship wise and he said he would wait 😭😭 (he in fact did not pick up the hint!)

then a little over month later he asked me out AGAIN and i said no i dont think i like you anymore sorry and he said oh that's fine and i thought we were chill??

a week later my messages BLEW UP one day and my guy friends were all snitching on him telling me that he's gong around slutshaming me and talking shit abt me for no reason and he said i was desperate and asked him out 3 times when he said no and he was never interested in me in the first place.. and then proceeded to sexualize my body and say weird ass shit abt it to everyone and they believed that i was a desperate whore or smth 😭

this happened a year ago but i was walking down the halls around a month ago and i saw him with his friends so i just rushed past

and his friends were like "oh isnt that the bitch who liked you?" and i heard him say "oh yeah she liked me like a year ago" and then proceeded to sexualize me while i was right fucking there but i dont even want any more drama w him so i dont bother saying anything back or leaking messages or wtv i js hope karma gets back at him 😭

and now idk if i should tell my fwb abt this?? or maybe it doesnt really concern me but it bothers me that hes hanging out with a guy like that and im conflicted on what to do

its not like i have the right to tell him who to be friends with either so 🤷‍♀️

what should i dooo

-《as always, your occasionally appearing but always stalking ☘ annonie》

(p.s. do you have any spotify song reccomendations 🥺🥺)

much lovee

Pooooookie you can always vent here ily ily :(

I’m so sorry to hear you’re stressed from exams :(( I’m rooting for you okay !! Please make sure to eat whenever you can (even if it’s something small!) and stay hydrated :( what’s the use of doing good on finals if your body gives out on you :(

No I feel u on the social media thing I get SO stressed when I have DMs or texts or whatever I just flat out don’t check them. I think I have 200 unread texts rn (it’s been around 1000 at some point) and I know im such a shitty friend but I just cannot respond to them 😭😭 I gotta put me first you guys

WINTER BREAK NEXT WEEK THOOO hang in there baby it’ll get better soon 🥺🫶🫶🫶🫶

OH MY GOD???? Pookie that’s fucking disgusting I’m so sorry you’re dealing with men like that rn???? I had a veryyyy similar situation with a guy who my friend tried to set me up with at a party who kinda liked for a little bit and then when I said I was comfortable being in a relationship he started slutshaming me to everyone under the fucking SUN and apparently he had a discord group where I was just CONSTANTLY the topic of conversation and when I heard about it I cried so hard ☹️ in my case I also had people who were friends with him and I voiced to them that it made me severely uncomfortable. Like the people in my life should know about the people who wronged me (especially if I’m sleeping with them??) and it just made me feel safer. It’s obviously up to you but I would probably tell him just so that he knows that’s someone you’re weary about and you don’t feel safe around ☹️ your safety and your wellbeing is the most important thing pookie ☹️ keep me posted if you need anything at all okay I love you lots and I’m sorry you’re going through this ☹️🫶

Song recs song recs yes here are some I’ve been listening to on repeat all week (there’s only like one kpop song in there but it’s my fav kpop song of all time so TRUST it was gonna make it to the list) I’ve been listening to Glass Animals, TV Girl and M83 on repeat for the entire year I think 😭😭

I love you endlessly okay keep you chin up better days are coming for us !! 🫶🫶🫶🫶 soon it’ll be winter break and you can just sit back and drink hot chocolate and tell me all about it and say you lived through it. Hang in there my love

[kiawren]

kiawren things that may add some plot to our relationship: (becuz to me we both like each other too much and are so perfect for each other we already know we're in love and get together so early like I Know it's not realistic but really I don't see how it'd drag out becuz I'm not stupid and I'd realise he likes me becuz he's not exactly good at hiding it so it wouldn't even be mutual pining for long lol)

– wren confessed his crush first (very in character of me becuz I get infatuated too easily), and kia/we says sorry he doesn't like them and has responsibilities to focus on, but they stay good friends. And then he falls for wren

– if we continue with the above, kia/we later asks wren if they view him still as a crush or a friend, and wren replies friend but he actually still adores kia/we, but kia/wes like ok he doesnt like me. And doesn't confess (he would've if wren said he still likes him)

– but then again im not that oblivious I feel like I can easily tell if kia/we likes me 😭 so thats fun to think about but it's not how the relationship 'canonly' mainly goes

– trans guy kia/we who wasn't sure that he was gay (didn't even like anyone legitimately till wren), when he transitioned he just took on an assumed transhet identity. and was conflicted when he starts to like wren whos nonbinary transmasc but doesn't really pass so he was worried he doesnt see wren as the boy they identify as!

– if kia/we already knows he likes guys/masculine aligned people, then wren was worried he wasn't enough of a boy for kia/we to reciprocate (actual thing that I thought of alot when I had an infatuation for a cis gay irl)

– over a vacation wren went back to whatever region they came from (idk poke/mon well enough outside of gen 7 my bad💀💀) and both of them were thinking whether it's a crush that'll pass over the month or two. (spoiler it didn't)

– well on the gender and sexuality thing maybe kia/we thought wren as someone who understands him in that aspect very well (since they're both transmasc, just to different extents) so he confused himself over whether it was like a special bond of solidarity and understanding or like. An actual crush (reminder he has not liked anyone so bad before. Or anyone for that matter. I still haven't really decided on that. I feel like he knows what love is cuz his parents are in love but never really had time to think abt it)

– wren isnt from alo/la right. He's there to study on conservation (my irl dream) and kia/we doesnt trust foreigners as seen in the first few eps. So he treats wren in a stern and a bit mean. kinda way. This is kinda important becuz if he didn't, wren would immediately be infatuated with him within like max 5 days. So to drag out the time they take to like each other kia/we has to warm up to wren and wren has to see him as actually not intimidating.

– it'll also be interesting if there were foreign students before and they did not care for alo/la's natural world as their academic intentions made them seem to. So kia/we had bad impressions of ppl coming to alo/la to help the region becuz he doesn't trust that they truly care for it. But wren really does and kia/we needs a bit of time to realise that. So he was initially really mean to wren lol, and unlike the shift in the canon show where kia/we quickly became a silly guy and wasn't mean anymore, here it was more gradual and so wren didnt like him that early on

– they were on the topic of dating before and wren said they didn't really like the idea of dating a schoolmate (once again, me irl, schoolmates suck) but that mostly applied for his school back home, not the smaller and more bonded class he was part of here in alola. And kia/we was like yeah I have lots of commitments too like my family, my training,... So they were both like yeah I don't think I'd date. So they were apprehensive on confessing to each other becuz they thought the other's answer was pretty much definitive. (but it completely changed later on solely becuz they really liked each other..!!)

Some other points of personality conflicts so they're not actually as perfect as I say they are lol

– I posted this before but wren (me irl) is kind of a germaphobe when it comes to their bedroom and some other routines in their life and kia/we is much less hygienic like basic hygiene ofc but he stays on a farm and sweats a lot and he sometimes lays down on his bed in between, or like before he sleeps he trains but he doesnt shower idfk in the games his bed literally smells like sweat. But anyway the point is wren got thrown off by kia/we like idk not washing his hands that much etc etc it's hard to say becuz I freak over 'germs' in specific places and circumstances only... but ajsksjkd I'm literally getting nowhere with this. I'm just saying they have to get used to each other here

– kiawe has 100 discipline responsibility commitment. wren has like 2. If we were to keep it realistic kia/we wouldn't be like head over heels for wren cuz he's really not perfect lol, all this comes to kia/we so naturally and. I kinda want to say he'd be annoyed that wren isn't like that but he also doesn't get annoyed at people's flaws. He understands them and helps them achieve their goals regardless.. but I still think it'd be tiring for him.. so I guess he'd want to help wren as more of a friend and it'd take a while to see them for their other strengths aside from yknow their work ethic that takes up a lot of what you see in someone and infer about them. What I mean is that I'm so non-committal but if someone were to like me. I guess it'd be more of the artistic and intellectual aspect? I hope........

[crybaby-bkg]

HELLO !!!!!!!!

so 👉👈 I was wondering if you had thoughts abt bakugo when you’re on your period (if you have the parts for that lmao💀) BECAUSE I DO!!!!!

(Below! Bullet point style!)

So. I wanna make it really clear that I’m a firm believer that bakugo is NOT the guy who’s like “oh it can’t be that bad blah blah blah” cuz that’s LAME

No no no, instead I think he’s the type to be scared out of his mind depending on your symptoms

For example: the first day my cramps get bad enough that I pass out and I’m usually delirious the entire day 😃

I feel like I’m that scenario, so if your cramps are bad, sick, ect. He would be so nervous about it

Prolly because I think bkg is the type to want to physically solve the problem, but this time there isn’t really a villain to fight- it’s just your uterus 😭

either way !!! Food is medicine baby! And bakugo has got you covered !!!

Obviously he gets you so much midol, but maybe you’re like me and don’t like to take it!! In which case (or COMBINED w/ the meds)

Katsuki “can’t be bothered” Bakugo is RESEARCHING

I’m talking google academic scholar research papers on searches like:

“Foods that help cramps”, “does potassium help mood swings”, “foods that will make my girl stop being upset at a TikTok”

Also, this is self indulgent :(, but Ik for me my adhd meds don’t work properly when I’m on my period- meaning I get SUPER scatter brained. Combined with the delirious symptoms, I am a MESS

So what do I think he does? Simple 👏 instructions 👏 nothing complicated, very direct, very much d r e n c h e d in petnames and lovin’

(Also this applies to focus in general but I think if he’s noticing you’re spacing out he cups your face in his giant ass hands to grab your attention.)

Anyways there’s prolly no shot he’s gonna encourage you to still go to work. Actually he’ll probably call in sick for you

I have more! But I didn’t wanna spam especially unprompted!!! Anyways though sorry I was feeling self indulgent and the image of bkg during period times is ROTTING my brain

I hope you’re doing amazing !!

hi hi!!! yes I always have thoughts about how comforting he would be during my period!!!

but I agree with everything about this omg he’s so frazzled bc he’s so used to being able to physically solve the issue. but how can he when it’s just you rolling around bed, in pain, and refusing to help yourself??? man’s is panicking every month until he learns a routine of how to make you feel better!!!

I feel like too, he stays with you for as long as he can. just lays with you with his warm hands wherever you need them, helping you with harder task, so very gentle with you but still grumpy when you don’t wanna help yourself >:(

I just think he’s so very attentive, and you said everything so well!!!

[schizosupport]

Hai! Suspecting schizospec anon again! Tysm for snaswering my wquestion!!! It REALLY helped me out and gave ne a name for things ive experiencing for quite a while, like the close eye halluicinations.

Ive loojed into more specific schizospec symptoms. And while it took me a minute to understand, jve come to the realization ive probably have experienced ipseity disturbances in the past. Its still difficult to understand due to how clinical and Professinal Big Wordy everything is written but i have recalled occasionally feeling not real inside. Like i viewed myself as a floating, bodyless, lack of a proper face being and my face just being whatever icon ive had online at the time. I even caught myself wondering n wishing why i can just be like that instead of Real and There.

As for negative symptoms, still font get it. But i have came to the realization that i suck at talking (ppl not getting what im trying to say, no matter how hard i try to explain it which has lead to a lot of misunderstandings even as of right now) i always described myself as "lacking proper vocabulary" and ive been feeling n wondering for ages that im mentally regressing or deteioratimg in terms of communication and understanding. I remember even considering just picking up AAC in the past despitecme still being able to talk and the simplistic language made me happy and euphoric.

I am aldo undergoing a hard time in terms of personal hygiene and academics. I had to make myself a hygiene chart to make sure i can remember what ive done n what i havent and yet its beent a week abd i STILL havent printed it out. The concept of getting up to bring my laptop over to my printer, hook it up, print it out; and put my stuff back sounds tiring.

And as fir academics, this semester was rough. To give ypu an idea: me missing quizzes and teetering so close to due dates for things that im scrambling to do it is NOT normal for me. I am usually on top of everything and all of a sudden this semester its like all of that just disappeared n now im tired all the time trying to find the easy way out while keeping good grades. I need external simuli like tea or my meds or even freaking Brain Focus Gum to help motivate me n get me to focus, and this has lead to accidental abuse of my medication. Idk whats going on. Its all so sudden and i do worry for the future.

Sorry for the dump again youre like. The only guy actually helping me out n helping me understand this. Ofc this could partly just be me becoming more disabled and my autism flaring up more as i get older (ive heard abt something like that) but this also seems to tick some boxes, esp when psychosis is still a prominent thing for me.

Hey there! I apologize for taking a while to get back to you, I'm like on-off with my activity on this page.

How are you doing now?

Based on everything you've been saying it's also hard for me to say if your experience is best described as schizo spec or an exacerbation of existing issues.

I'm not an expert, but I know that autistic burnout as well as autistic regression is also a thing, and autistic people are overall more likely to experience psychotic symptoms than the general population. So while some of the things you describe are relatable to me as what I perceive in myself as negative symptoms, I think those can also be related to burnout. For example needing a lot of external pressure to do things and still falling behind.

The things you identify as possible ipseity disturbance could also be dissociation, specifically depersonalization, it might be helpful for you to look into resources for that as well. Dissociation can come along with many different disorders and experiences.

But while I can't tell you exactly what's up, nor do I think it matters what exact labels we put on it, it sounds like you're under a lot of pressure and your brain is shutting down in some capacity as a result.

Whether it's beginning psychosis, or autistic burnout, or just plain ole stress response, it's really important that you try to see if you can give yourself some type of a break. Is there any way to at least lessen the course load next semester? Stuff like that.

Because I really don't think this is the type of thing that's likely to be resolved by just pushing yourself harder and harder. It sounds like you need a bit of space to breathe and get back in touch with your brain.

I hope this answer finds you well!

[lcvemalfcy]

Mission Accomplished || D.M

summary: pansy and blaise make it their mission to get y/n and draco together

pairing: draco x fem!reader

warnings: fluff, not sure abt anything else — please comment if I missed something!!

word count: 1.6k

a/n: pls ive been writing this since the beginning of feb but i didn’t know how to end it off

draco had taken an interest in you ever since you had laughed at a joke he mumbled during class, with no intention of being heard. he turned to the owner of the laugh, to see you sitting next to your friend with your hand over your mouth, trying to conceal your giggles. that’s when he decided that your laugh was now his favorite sound in the world and that he wanted to hear it more.

he hadn’t made his crush on you known, besides to blaise. he rarely even talked with you before, but he wanted to change that this year. he started off by greeting you whenever you two passed each other in the halls, to initiating small conversations with you during your shared classes, and now he was joining you in the library to read after he ‘coincidentally’ shared the same reading spot as you.

pansy and blaise entered the library together, in search of a book they needed in order to start on their astronomy project. they both walked to the aisle where the book would be found, pansy’s fingers gliding over the spines of the books as she searched for the one in particular. “do me a favor and help me find it?” she spat out to blaise, irritated that he stood there staring off at something she could care less about.

“is that draco with y/n?” blaise asked instead, noticing the familiar blonde boy sitting at a table across from you. this immediately caught pansy’s attention as she averted her focus from the bookshelf in front of her to the table you two sat at. “no way!”

“they are so into each other,” pansy silently squealed as she watched you burst out into giggles due to some awful joke draco had made, you seemed to have a thing for his jokes. “draco’s liked her for months now.” a grin appeared on blaise’s face, trying to hold in his laughter at draco’s lame attempt at flirting with you.

“and he hasn’t made a move on her yet?” pansy questioned. blaise shook his head side to side to answer her question when an idea suddenly entered her brain. “blaise we have to do something!”

“like what?” blaise was confused, unsure of what pansy meant. “forget the project, we have to set them up! mission y/n and draco!” pansy exclaimed. she excitedly grabbed blaise’s hand and dragged him to a table far from yours to create a plan, while blaise internally groaned, knowing how passionate she could become when it came to stuff like this.

being a prefect always was an advantage. and luckily for pansy and blaise who were both prefects, this made it easy for them to execute their plan.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

one foggy night, you threw a jumper and sweats over your body, preparing for your late night stroll around the castle. you liked to do this whenever you couldn’t fall asleep, finding that a walk seemed to be relaxing and calm the thoughts running through your head.

you exited your dormitory quietly, being careful enough to not wake your sleeping dormmates. you walked down the stairs and into the common room, feeling chills run up and down your body as you felt the temperature drop. you made it across, about to exit the room when you walked straight into something — no, someone.

“sneaking out again, y/n?” there stood pansy ahead of you. she kept a straight face, slightly raising her eyebrow in attempt to intimidate you.

“weren’t you just asleep?” you looked back and pointed towards the steps to the dormitories, confused as to where she came from. she was asleep in the dorm, right? 

“I’m sorry but I’m going to have to give you a detention,” she stated as you gave her a questioning look. “you’re not serious, are you? you know I’ve snuck out a million times already and never gave me one before,” you tried to reason with her.

“and that’s exactly why I should be giving you one, you’ve snuck out one too many times y/n. meet me for detention in snape’s classroom. saturday, 5PM, and don’t be late.” she left so quickly and was already gone before you could question her sudden change in opinion.

meanwhile, draco sat in the common room one afternoon, looking back and forth between papers as he copied goyle’s homework. with one question left, he was almost done and turned to glance at goyle’s paper one last time when it was suddenly snatched away from underneath him.

“what the hell?!” draco looked up to see blaise holding onto the piece of parchment he desperately needed in order to complete his assignment.

“really, draco? cheating? I’m absolutely flabbergasted and disappointed in you!” blaise overexaggerated and flailed his arms around, causing draco to furrow his brows in confusion. “I’m giving you a detention for going against your academic honesty!” blaise sighed and crossed his arms, dramatically shaking his head at his friend.

“what are you on mate? did you not just copy off of his homework before me?” draco was irritated as blaise prevented him from finishing his homework. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. now, meet me in snape’s classroom at 5PM on saturday for your detention.” and with that, blaise left, not giving draco a chance to hex him.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

it was now saturday, a few minutes before the clock struck 5PM. you were making your way to snape’s classroom, pissed that you had to spend your free time in detention.

arriving at your destination, you opened the door and entered the classroom, curious as to what pansy had planned for your detention. the first thing you noticed was an empty classroom, before turning to the back corner and spotting your favorite blonde. “draco? what are you doing here?”

“blaise gave me a bloody detention for ‘going against my academic honesty,’ whatever that means. you?” he raised an eyebrow as he waited for your reply. “pansy caught me trying to sneak out.”

he slowly nodded as you took a seat beside him, “don’t you find it odd that blaise and pansy never give slytherins detentions, especially not their own friends. and the one time they do, it happens to be on the exact same day at the exact same time?” he questioned as you thought it over.

“you’re right, that is a bit odd.”

after waiting a few more minutes for blaise and pansy to arrive, draco went to grab his bag off the floor as he stood up. “I have better things to do and seeing that they’re late, I’m going to go do those other things. care to join?”

“lead the way, malfoy.” you grinned at him, gesturing your arm towards the door. he made his way over to the door, you following right behind him. you waited for him to open it, yet that never happened.

“the door won’t open,” he concluded after a few moments of him rattling the doorknob.

“what do you mean the door won’t open?”

“it means, the door won’t open.” you lightly shoved him out of the way, pulling out your wand and muttering alohomora. you became frustrated when you went to open the door and the lock still wouldn’t budge.

after multiple attempts to open the door, both of you realized it was no use. you guys were locked in.

you found yourself sitting on the floor besides draco, talking with one another for hours on end as you wore his jumper. he had politely offered it to you when he noticed you shivering due to the cold dungeon air, in which you denied it at first, but he kept on insisting.

you started drifting off, his words started twisting into gibberish and his voice became muffled. draco felt his heart warm when your head fell onto his shoulder. “oh c’mon y/n, don’t fall asleep on me.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just your jumper is so comfy and warm,” you lightly spoke as you snuggled closer into his body. draco thought his heart was about to burst.

suddenly, the door opened and entering the room was snape, who only stared at the two of you when he noticed his two students just casually sitting on his classroom floor. the sudden noise made you bolt awake.

“out.” his voice was curt and blunt, causing you and draco to rush to your feet. you hurriedly exited the room as draco mumbled a “sorry professor.”

you and draco ran down the hall, hardly able to contain your laughter when you entered the common room.

sitting on the couches before you and draco were pansy and blaise, who wore amused looks upon draco’s and your appearance.

“nice jumper, y/n.” blaise wiggled his eyebrows at the two of you when you and draco finally realized what was going on. “they did this on purpose, didn’t they?” draco spoke up beside you.

“I’m gonna get those little gits.” you ran straight for pansy as she yelped and ran towards the dorms, you following straight behind her.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

the following day at breakfast, pansy was fangirling over the sight of you two walking down the hall hand in hand. “mission accomplished, blaise! you were actually a good partner, we should do it again sometime. ooo how about daphne and theo?”

truth be told, you were glad blaise and pansy had done that as it allowed you and draco to realize your feelings for one another.

what you did not like, was the fact that pansy and blaise had the audacity to take credit for your relationship with draco. and while it may be true, you would never admit it to them out loud.

[poisonouswritings]

hi, love your writing! ive been writing my own little ficlets recently just rewriting some scenes from felix's route bc as someone who's pretty goth myself and actively shares just abt all of felix's interests, i know i would be geeking out with felix abt practically everything—problem is even tho i know how *i* would respond, the fact that the game only ever lets u react with boredom to his interests means i have very little reference for how he'd respond to my enthusiasm, and its giving me writers block. do u have any tips for coming up with that sort of thing and/or ideas for how he might react?

Thank you!! 😇 And sorry in advance for the ramble, I really like sharing my writing process and hopefully helping some people out. 

I've definitely had the same problem, both in the little things I do on this blog and the rewrites with my own OCs. I think the biggest thing that helps me is the framing of it;

Everyone, intentionally or not, puts a personal spin on the characters they write, and usually shift focus to slightly different aspects of the character's personality. So instead of trying to figure out exactly how canon Felix would react, think of how your version of Felix would react.

Personally, it helps me to pick a facet of the personality that I want to showcase, with that facet being dependent on the scenario. For something like what you're doing, I would recommend highlighting the Eager (Dark) Academic angle.

We already know that he's proud of what he's learned and accomplished based on canon interactions and that he's mentioned wanting to 'lecture MC on the beauty of [death]' (from the prologue), so we can reasonably say that he'd be the type to excitedly infodump about his interests, especially if it means teaching something in the process. Given his drive for learning, I think we can also confidently say that if you happen to share interests with him, he'd both want to tell you all about his version and then probe for answers regarding your (Earth's) version of said interest as well. Comparing notes and all that y'know? Because his interests are atypical (at least according to everyone around him, which we can see through primarily Anisa and Sage and their reactions to him sometimes), I think at first he would kind of cut himself off out of habit and need a bit of assurance that you're not bored or off-put to continue. Ultimately I think he's eager to share his interests in the same way that he's eager to teach you magic. There would be a lot of rambling and going off-topic during certain parts (in the same way that passionate people or people with hyperfixations can get) and plenty of asking detailed questions and note taking in others.

Hopefully this helps!

[cloudslou]

hi i really like reading about your thesis bc i'm also working on mine rn and i'm! so! lost! i wanna know if you have like a plan for writing yours? i'm also a humanities student so basically i just have to read a lot djkjf but i find it so hard to 😔 if your source is a book or a dissertation do you read it more than once? if you don't how do you choose your citations and stuff like that? do your write a summary for everything you read? i feel like i should but just reading has been really hard for me lately and i recently got a very demanding job so </3 yeah idk fkjdf also i'm sorry for this long ass message 😩

hi anon!!!

a) OMG good luck on your thesis!!!!!! wishing u all the best <333 lets get a support group going

b) reading so much IS hard, but i try to only read what i need. i dont write summaries for everything i read, though early on in the process my advisor did have me list all my sources and justify why i had them/their importance, but i've since gained more sources and havent done that on my own. you can mostly get the benefits of this just by thinking to yourself "how does this source help me? what will i need from it? am i likely to actually reference it in my thesis?"

c) if a source i have is really long (i.e. full book or someone's 300 page dissertation), i dont typically read the whole thing, but rather identify chapters or sections that i need and read those. for instance, one of my sources is Mothers of Invention: Women of the Slaveholding South in the American Civil War. my pdf is 343 pages, which is a lot to read if i'm only going to end up using a couple paragraphs. instead, i focused on chapter 7 specifically since that is what suits my needs. this chapter, at just over 20 pages, is a lot more manageable to read not only once but multiple times if i need to.

d) you dont have to become an expert on every book/article/etc you use as a source. i read things pretty fast and highlight what looks like something i'll need to refer back to, reading around it if i need context when i DO go back. but the highlight tool is my bestie cus i can scroll fast know when to stop on smth past me thought was important.

e) i dont know your thesis paper or what you study, but for history i am very much constructing a story around my evidence, so when i write something and need sources, i dont deep-drive into my sources, but rather just command+f to search for key words that i need (for example, the book i just posted abt in my tags. google books shows me about a 3 line preview of the pages i need based on my search of key terms, but those 3 lines are enough for me to justify writing a sentence in my thesis, and so then that book is now one of my sources).

f) i don't really have a "plan" for writing mine, but every week i meet with my advisor and i set goals for the next time i see her. over spring break, my goal was to get 2/4 analysis sections done (the sections where i am making my Own Original Historical Claims), and i did that! now my goal is to outline the following two sections and get this draft to her by tonight.

my advice is to list out your sections very clearly (even if you know what they are in theory, or you have to delete them when you are done). think about what your priority is (for me, its Making My Historical Claims) and focus on those. other things, like background info, introduction, etc are much easier to push though and the quality of those matters less.

also, focus on getting the words out rather than getting Good words out. think "what do i actually mean?" and try writing that, rather than thinking "here is my thought, how should i best put it into academic language". this might give you clunky sentences, things that dont sound good or need to be reworked, ideas that dont go together well or fully make sense yet, etc, but it gives you more to work with. and once you have the "bones" down, you can work on refining it.

pls dont read every source in its entirety. for history, i mostly need to read the introduction + conclusion, and then skimming inbetween (that is, if i dont just skip to what is relevant to me). i dont know what your discipline is like, so craft these rules to suit your thesis work.

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

typing help needed: i get rly obsessed with things & have to know everything abt them (astrology, cats, certain fictional characters, etc) & constantly bring them up in conversations. speaking of which, i only really initiate conversations when there’s something specific i want to talk about; i don’t talk to people just for talking’s sake. i’m ambivalent about spending time w ppl. i could go months w/o seeing ppl as long as i could text them & most people are boring to me anyway, but there are types of ppl whose company i never get tired of. i love being around funny, ambitious & intelligent ppl who tell it like it is. really emotional & soft ppl annoy me. stupid ppl annoy me but also amuse me. what annoys me most is when ppl waste my time (n i lowkey feel guilty abt this ask bc it’s so long & unorganized i’m sorry i tried). i’m constantly tempted to prank people/provoke fights but i’m scared of getting in trouble. academic & financial success are extremely important to me. i’ll sacrifice anything for straight As. i put 100% effort into everything i do as long as i’m interested in it (chores? hell no.) but lose steam quickly and slack off when a project is near completed. still, i do whatever i need to to outperform my classmates. the thought of working a 9-5 office job fills me with unimaginable dread because i hate rigid schedules & having to see the same boring people/place every single day. i want to write/draw for a living and/or be a professor, don’t rly have a plan tho i just take opportunities as they come. i live to entertain. i love wearing weird/flashy clothes that attract attention. i’m “the funny one” and “the creative one” in my friend group. i’m an open book in that i’ll answer p much any question honestly. but the intimacy of romantic relationships is hard for me. i hate feeling vulnerable and i’m terrified of rejection. i’ve never confessed romantic feelings to anyone, but i’ll do crazy things for “love.” i got myself a full ride scholarship to a private high school just because someone i liked was going to go there & then did the same thing for a different person for college. i’m confident & insecure at the same time, like i know i’m smart & capable but i worry that other people won’t see that. i have terrible fomo and i feel like i’m losing a race against everyone else my age. i’m pretty opinionated when it comes to politics & v vocal when i disagree w someone unless they have power over me in which case i bitch about them behind their back. i love a good fight but tap out when people refuse to listen to reason. i have over 20000 accounts blocked on twitter. i wish ppl were less sensitive bc i hate trying not to make them upset. i don’t want to make them upset but i hate that i have to act fake nice in order to do that. it happens a lot in my classes when we critique e/o’s work like i have nothing positive to say to u i’m sorry. i’m a deeply angry person but i try to hide it bc despite wanting to not care abt what people think of me i often do & i’m scared they’d hate the real me. anyway i think i’m an NP but no idea about the other 2 letters & enneagram i have no clue i feel like i don’t fit neatly into any of them. thanks in advance for reading all this hogwash !

okay before I read this...how are you getting around the character limit per ask? I’ve seen this a couple times but very inconsistently but anyway I might need to reframe my ask limit as a character limit (which this is technically under although I can’t believe I’m saying this, but much as I hate copying and pasting each part of 7 asks at least that method has paragraph breaks).

Anyway, ESTP, enneagram 3.

- a lot of the “I wish I could be more chaotic but I’m worried about getting in trouble or being seen as less than impressive” stuff here is very in line with how an Ne or Se-dom 3 acts

- hating routine, grabbing opportunities effectively but for impulsive reasons, and putting effort in based solely on interest or succeeding against certain metrics (rather than say, general obligations) are all very Ne or Se dom as well

- the specific examples you gave of seizing opportunities, the fact that you gave specific examples in the first place (this is a good thing; a lot of questions I get have me like....concrete examples? spare a concrete example for the sensor?), the 3-ness of it all, and the fomo all sound far more like high Se than high Ne to me. The focus on external metrics and the weird flashy clothes also have me thinking high Se.

- the caring to the degree you do about other people and their opinions of you is definitely part of 3 (especially since a lot of it is about not getting into trouble or having good grades) but also pretty clearly the Ti-Fe axis; this isn’t strictly being impressive via competence the way many Te-doms do it, but through interpersonal tracks as well.

- the part about arguments is 100% high Ti. I have no idea how you blocked so many people on twitter or why and frankly I’m not sure how that’s relevant, but one of the greatest hallmarks of high Ti and especially aux Ti (it’s the extroversion) is loving arguments and even starting them but the second someone else doesn’t engage with the rules (which can be valid, like being reasonable, but can also include the other person pointing out this is legitimately a matter of opinion) leaving or getting frustrated or doubling down in weird ways.

[februaryberries]

learning when it’s okay to take the L

ok hello

(fair warning it is almost 2 am and i am walking the line between tipsy and drunk rn so i’m sorry if this isn’t coherent i just wanna post abt it b4 i forget maybe i’ll do better tomorrow)

i think it’s really important to learn that it’s okay to take the L on one thing and prioritize others

for spring term 2020 we had the option to change all of our classes to pass/fail grading bc yk covid and that has been extended to this term too

if you are on academic warning/probation (like me ✌️😗) you have to get above a certain GPA to stay in ok standing, however at least at my school if you have all of your classes set to pass fail you only have to pass ONE class to remain in okay standing.

this term has been a learning experience for me bc i’m actually taking meds for my adhd and depression and i have the chance to learn how to do okay in school for the first time ever! but also i’ve never actually developed good school habits so i’m starting from scratch this term.

i’m fairly behind in all my classes but it’s still possible to catch up in them, excluding my philosophy class. it’s asynchronous which to my ADHD brain means it doesn’t fucking exist so i have done absolutely 0 work for it and i’m supposed to have read republic by plato and i have two short essay abt it due on tuesday (it’s friday night) and i work the rest of this weekend.

this plus the fact that i’m behind in my other classes means i’ve been the most stressed i’ve been in several months, and then not getting ANYTHING done because i’m so stressed and then stressing more.

i have come to the decision to make all my classes pass/no pass this term and take the L on my philosophy class. this way i can focus on the classes i know i can do something about without the looming deadlines of that class overwhelming and distracting me.

if i tried to keep going with this class on top of everything else i would quite simply lose my mind and end up failing all of them. i know this because of allllllll my experience with being behind last year n such.

it’s okay to cut your losses and prioratize where u need to and i actually feel really good abt deciding to focus on my other two classes. i feel guilty but i know it will give me a better chance to succeed. anyway those r just some thots™️ i’m gonna go to sleep bc it’s 2am and i work at 9:30am tomorrow goodnight gamers just remember u are valid no matter what twists and turns ur academic career takes n ily 💖

[doinbetter]

46, 47, 48, 50.

i asked u almost all of them lmaoo sorry

How do you study?- reading textbooks and doing practice problems! simple

What do you wish you’d done differently in your first year?- honestly I wish I hadn’t stayed in a long distance relationship. idk if he sees what I post here, but this has nothing to do with him, it’s just abt the logistics of being long distance. I wasn’t able to feel fully at home at school until this year after we broke up. it would have been less painful if I just completely started fresh. 

What things do you think you did right in your first year?- (cont from last question) but on that same note, being in an LDR allowed me to fully focus on academics and friendships while I was at school. what I’m trying to say is I’m glad I wasn’t looking for a bf at school or dating at school that first year. for whoever needs to see this: focus on yourself for your first year! I reallyyyy wouldn’t recommend jumping into a relationship first thing in college. first make friends and establish yourself independently, THEN you can think about relationships. you don’t want to become too dependent on someone.

Strangest university tip you have?- find a good place to cry early on, before you actually need to cry. mine was the top of the stairwell. then when you inevitably have a breakdown, you know where to go! 

[katherinewilliams221b]

I'm going to shoot some soldifying Qs at you as well, t'was my main intention to lure you on for a reblog at least 😂 Please choose anyone you feel like, Kate or Charlie or both...1 (bc K's father gives me some kinda vibes), 4 (bc BOTH grandpas are so different, and also her parents...), 5&6 (your Charlie??), 24 (!), 32 and 35. And 41 to cap it off. I'd ask every single one of them, so sorry abt it 🙏

Aaaaaaaa okay, okay, here it is! I've been out of business for a while, taking exams and such. Uni takes all my strength away. Thank you for asking💜💜💜😍 and OF COURSE I'm going to make you participate in every ask possible 😌🤷‍♀️😍

---

1. How does your character think of their father? What do they hate and love about him? What influence - literal or imagined - did the father have?

Joseph Williams is an interesting piece; he is the youngest son of Nicholas and Aurora Williams (for another conversation). He has two siblings: Evira (stop calling her Elvira or else), the oldest, and Erick, in the middle. He was raised in a typical purist family and it’s a miracle that he didn’t turn out like his father and grandfather.

The loss of Jacob shook him to the core, but his stoic demeanour never showed it. This is something that Kate demands of him, that he could show a little more emotion or at least share his opinions. The man just talks with facts.

Another thing that truly exasperates Kate is the fact that, seemingly, he doesn’t stand up to his father. What she doesn’t know, but will learn later in her life, is that her father is the only one of the three siblings that broke a lot, if not every, rule his father had. One of them: marrying a girl with mixed blood. Nicholas is a man with a plan, probably having a member of his blood in every important position that could exist. Kate’s father probably wouldn’t have chosen a Ministry career, but at the time, he thought he didn’t have much of a choice when he found out that his father arranged it all. He insisted in dragging Jacob and Kate along, both refusing fervently and, when his father started arranging their lives, he finally put an end to the situation. This made him somewhat of an outcast, no one messes with Nicholas Williams. He is a truly terrifying man. Although aware of her grandfather’s severity, Kate didn’t know he had made plans for her and that her father was opposed to the idea.

He is hard-working, tenacious and has a way with words that help him in his job (He works at Dpt. International Magical cooperation) and that Kate also admires. She knows that you must be very careful if you talk to him, for he could be manipulative if that makes him accomplish a purpose.

Probably the most interesting thing that Kate could have learnt from him is crisis management (see #35 for more info). She does not agree with his “the end justifies the means” policy that was the cause of many arguments, but she tries to be more pragmatic and keep a cool head when a new problem arises.

4. What type of discipline was your character subjected to at home? Strict? Lenient?

5. Were they overprotected as a child? Sheltered?

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child?

(I felt like these were together)

Kate was homeschooled before Hogwarts. Numerous tutors with the best qualifications were selected to prepare Jacob and Kate for school.

Jacob described the process as 'unnecessarily tough and strict', not very keen to rules, Jacob used to skip classes and wander around the grounds of the house.

Both siblings were extraordinarily brilliant and it was reflected in their studies, nevertheless, little Katie showed interest in learning new things, unlike her brother. Their schooling never included anything that had to do with learning magic. They were instructed in basic math, english, french (Kate doesn't remember much of it), music, biology and introduction to what muggles would call botanics. Kate was supposed to learn piano, but they had trouble finding a good teacher that was willing to go to the house. It is a bit scary.

There were strict rules that Kate had to follow; her grandparents respective studios were forbidden as well as the kitchen and the guest area and Kate never dared to go to the basement. Her room was situated on the far end of the house and although it had a decent size it lacked personality, it was just decorated with dark colours that suited the house but not her.

The remain space for living was the grounds of the place, big enough to explore at leisure and maybe find a hidden spot to spend the afternoon. Usually the siblings were allowed to disappear for hours without a word if that meant that they didn't annoy the family or the guests.

Kate remembers her only contact with magic before Hogwarts days, happening two times a week, when she was brought to Diagon Alley to play.

Kate remembers a lonely but happy childhood. Her parents lived in the house as well, petition of her father, that wanted to protect her half blood wife, Natalia. He used all the family name power to shelter her and her parents (Natalia's mother was a muggle and at the time, Voldemort killed and tortured muggles, probably half bloods and as well as blood traitors). The name of the family was never questioned because of all the influence they had in the Ministry, but the chances of a visit to her  grandparents were limited and very controlled.

She does not blame her parents for being away all the time, or her grandparents for ignoring her. She was happy just learning, playing and exploring.

24. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

-At Hogwarts, Kate participated in the Hogwarts gobstones club and she was very much like her grandfather Bernard when he plays chess. She rarely lost a game and she was known for her lack of compassion when playing. She quit after Hogwarts and its unusual to see her play.

- At the same time, she was a member of the Duelling Club, where she excelled. Flitwick said to Harry Potter that she could be the best duellist of the century. The club dissolved to be re-founded again several years later, but she managed to be one of the leaders for a year. A picture of her hangs in the duelling room.

- Later in her life, she takes French and Spanish classes, the last accompanied by her mother. She is not very fluid with languages but after a while, she starts to enjoy the bonding moments with her mother.

- As a mediwizard, she attends multiple conferences and symposiums, she usually goes as a guest. Later she would participate more actively, giving talks about the importance of international techniques around the world, promoting communication, sharing perspectives and open-minded politics.

Regarding medicine, she founds a small association of healers in St Mungo’s, that teaches basic healing magic and procedures when facing an emergency situation to children, teenagers and also adults.

Kate claims she is not a leader, probably out of modesty or lack of confidence. However, she likes to take the initiative in her projects and she eventually learns how to make herself respected. She finds that, after all, she likes taking the lead.

-Kate and Charlie made an effort to go to dancing classes, to spend some quality time together. Being both very private creatures, they hated it. Not wanting to hurt each other’s feelings they didn’t mention anything about it and kept going to class. After a year they became very elegant, not only in their dancing, but in their stance as well. Needless to say, they are the focus of all stares in whichever event they attend to.

After some years, they would reveal and laugh about how they despised those classes, and how they prefered to dance alone at home. They do not regret it.

32. How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively?

Kate is a well balanced combination of all three.

If one thinks about stress because of work or studies, she doesn’t fear hard work she is very assertive with her goals.

While working for the Order, she was forced to face whoever wanted to hurt her, ad although she prefers the ‘run’ option, she knows how to stand and fight if necessary. While duelling, she prefers defense spells, which give her time to know her opponent and think of a strategy according to them.

Arguing with her can be difficult and oftentimes it ends in both parts hurt. She matures considerably in that aspect and learns that some things, even if they are true, are better left unsaid.

35. Do they always rationalize errors? How do they accept disasters and failures?

Kate’s father had a lot to do with her discipline in front of failure. He feared that her grandfather’s hard education would make Kate afraid of taking the wrong direction or ever scared of making decisions Through the years he taught her how to face mistakes, work around them and accept that one can’t change the past. Easier said than done, she is only human, and from time to time she needs reassurance that she is doing the right thing. She knows that she can count on her friends to help her fix any errors and give her support when needed.

This chances the day she loses a patient for the first time, and she has to reorganize her thoughts. It was a very philosophical and exhausting day.

41. Is your character aware of who they are? Strengths? Weaknesses? Idiosyncrasies? Capable of self-irony?

She knows perfectly who she is, thanks to long talks with Charlie about everything. She is not afraid to change an opinion if she realizes she is wrong. Kate’s way of living is an state of evolutiotion; she is not only hungry for academic knowledge, she likes to discover herself and others everyday. Talking with Charlie is somewhat therapeutic and she values how he is patient enough with her to participate in those deep conversations she loves to get lost into.

She is not scared to be herself because she knows that to be loved for who you are is more precious than pretending to be someone smarter, fancier or cooler.

Bill, Tonks and Charlie like to pick on her, of course without malice, because they enjoy the friendly banter that always follows.

[fairycosmos]

i start year 12 tomorrow and i legitimately want to die. on the bright side i got A,A*,A* for chinese, eng and world lit but my parents only care abt math LOL why do i bother

hi lovely :(( first of all wow!! congratulations on the amazing results bro, that's fucking insane. 💘 you should be so proud of yourself, even if your low mood is overwhelming you right now - at least try to acknowledge on a logical level that you did a great job. it's a strong indicator that you will do well in future exams, and the fact that you care about your education to any extent is admirable. it's easy to feel stressed and fucked up inside when the prospect of a new school year looms. fear of 'failure', of change, of the unknown - it all adds up. so take a breath, and let it wash over you. cry if you need to, embrace the confusion, let yourself feel it all without judgment. you cant change your predicament and you're allowed to process negative emotions, as long as you attempt to cope with them in a healthy way. try to break the school year down into small chunks, and take it one day at a time. literally the only real tangible thing is the present moment, it's the only aspect you're fully responsible for. so focus on what you need - support, rest, a break - in the moment that will make you feel truly better. do a bit of self examination - what triggers you, what calms you, what brings you joy? can you strike a healthy balance, or at least attempt to? if it gets to be too much, and you need to talk to someone such as a counselor or a doctor about the anxiety, then you're totally entitled to that. there will always be a self destructive part of you that wants to isolate and be alone, but trust me, it gets you nowhere fast. it's alright to talk about what's going on in your head. there are so many resources and ways to make it feel manageable again. you don't have to believe me right now but trust in the fact that someday you will. look, you are going to live the solutions to all your worries, i promise. but you have to give yourself that chance. and hey, i'm really fuckin sorry your parents are assholes. you deserve better than that. math is notttttt the beginning and end of the world and nor is it the only indicator of intelligence. on top of that, overall your grades are never ever going to dictate your worth or future happiness as a human being. no matter how much that mindset is pushed onto you, you can always make the choice to see it for what it is - bullshit. you're not here on this earth to be of constant capitalistic and academic service, you know? whatever happens with school, you can carve a path out for yourself. there are always options, always ways to find chunks of peace and happiness and success. it's inevitable. ive said this before and i'll say it again, there comes a point when you're growing up where you just realize that your parent's ideology is total crap. and that doesn't mean it's not allowed to hurt. they're your parents, and they should be encouraging you regardless - it's their fault that they're not doing that, not yours. but you can acknowledge that pain and still get on with your own life. you're going to have to disappoint them in some way in order to be happy, we all do. they will have to get a grip and accept it at some point. i know it all feels so intense, and words can't begin to make it better. but this is honestly just a stepping stone, a very early one, in your life. and it is so fleeting. the most frustrating part about sadness is that it convinces you it's a permanent state of mind but that couldn't be further from the truth. whatever this year throws at you, you will be able to handle it one step at a time, through patience and self compassion. and not just thinking about those as concepts, but actually implementing it into your life and prioritising your well being. you've got this dude, i'll be rooting for you!! you didn't make it this far with three A*s for nothing!! let me know if you need a friend or someone to talk to, i'll be here. you're not alone.

[kae-karo]

[1] hi!! so idk if you've seen dan speaking at the mental health panel or not, but there was one part that hit me really hard and id love to know your thoughts on it! basically he was saying that often content creators, and people in general, are struggling with their mental health the most when it seems like they're thriving (uploading constantly, getting good grades, etc) but everyone thinks they're fine. which is literally my life rn but i can't take a break from overworking myself bc i need

[2] to get into college. do you have any advice abt how to provide for my future while still taking care of myself? also, i just want to thank you for running such a healthy and positive blog bc it has helped me thru some difficult times, and you seem like such a thoughtful and caring person!

hi dear! oh no :( I'm so sorry, that's such a hard position to be in - I havent been in school for a few years, and not in high school since 2012 yikes lmao, so I'm sure things have changed a bit but hopefully I can still give some advice that helps?

I'd say first and foremost, talk to a trusted adult you know in person about how you're feeling - whether that be a parent, older sibling, favorite teacher, advisor, etc. they may have advice more specific to your situation that might take into account details I dont know. and while this is my first piece of advice, it can also be the hardest? sometimes facing our demons and being honest about them with others who have only seen our "good side" can feel impossible, but it can be a crucial step to help build a support system that you can go to when you feel you're struggling

the next thing I'd say is, on a small scale, start taking time for yourself. I know that's like. the hardest thing to do when you have like 6hr of homework a night, minimum, plus clubs or sports or other activities that take time, but literally even sneaking five minutes between some bits of homework to do something that's calming and centering for you can make a difference - if you can grab five minutes to go sit in a space you feel comfortable, away from your work, to breathe and think about something other than your work, that can be helpful

the next one is sorta like. tangential, but take care of your body as well - you're still a growing and developing human, so this is ESPECIALLY important, but drinking lots of water (and not too many sugary drinks/chemical drinks) and eating veggies and getting enough protein can literally make such a big difference in your brains ability to function at it's best. the other important thing here is sleep - every body is different, so keep in mind what your body does best on and (when you can) aim for that. between hydration, good nutrition, and sufficient sleep, you're laying a foundation that can help your brain be more successful throughout the day

I wish, ultimately, i had a perfect answer for the fucked up school system (esp in America which is what I'm most familiar with), but it honestly sets you up to fail. what (unintentionally) worked well for me was having a blow-off class or two - classes that were easy for me (like sign language, or French 1 after I'd already taken Spanish for several years) and could help boost my GPA without stressing me out as much. if you can find those classes- and definitely look for the ones that are easy for YOU, don't just ask around for the easiest classes - that can be a really nice break in your day and help relieve you of some after-school stress

here's another "honesty is the best policy" situation - if you find yourself struggling to understand a concept, or homework is taking you so much longer than some of your peers (or the teacher says theres only an hour of hw a night and you end up spending far longer on it) talk to the teacher! tell them you're struggling, and ask if you can get some help understanding a topic. be specific about what you dont understand (dont just go "I dont get it") and explain your thought process - this can help teachers understand where you're veering off the path and what you might be missing. and, more importantly, if you're coming in for help, they're more likely to be lenient with you because they know you're trying (yes I'm aware that was more a "school help in general" bit of advice but in case that's something you're struggling with)

now heres....maybe some controversial advice. take calculated risks. example: if a teacher has a policy where they drop your lowest homework grade in a class and you're doing alright in that class, but you have a day where you're saddled with WAY too much work for another class where you're struggling, it's okay to say "okay, today I need to go to sleep by 10pm, I can either finish this difficult homework or complete homework for the class that will drop a grade", sometimes it makes more sense to skip that one homework and get a zero to spend time dedicated to the class you're struggling in and get rest. in a similar vein, there is also a limit to studying - there is a point where you physically cannot absorb more knowledge. it is so much better for your brain - both from a focus and memory standpoint - to get a little extra sleep than to stay up late studying well past the point where you will retain knowledge.

now....again, I havent been applying to colleges in ages so my advice might be a bit stale, but colleges tend to look for good grades but also challenging classes, or improvement over time in classes, etc etc. they want to know you're working hard, and that you have diverse interests. college apps are a bit like resumes honestly, except you cant lie about your GPA. but like. you can fluff everything else. literally EVERYTHING becomes fair game with college apps. you can talk about fanfic or a fandom you're in if you phrase it the right way, like there are barely rules lmao. and you can make yourself sound very appealing

so my advice would be basically this: work hard, but learn your personal limits. figure out how much sleep a night makes you feel awake and focused the next day (again, it varies!) and aim for that as much as you can. try to eat nutritiously when you can, and drink lots of water. dedicate time to your homework and studying, but be sure to take regular breaks and ACTUALLY shift your brain away from your work during those breaks. and it's also good to dedicate time to life activities - like I said, colleges want to know you're a diverse person. spend time in clubs you like or playing sports if that's your thing, or do things unconnected to school. and remember, you can fluff that all up on a college app! but also remember - you have to live with you for the rest of your life, and there are so so many paths to a good job or a college education if that's what you decide you want, be sure to prioritize your health as much as you can. the education system tricks you into this never ending cycle of "if I just push through ___________ I'll get to ___________!" and taking that through your life can be really challenging and exhausting. I need to acknowledge that some of this is easy for me to say - I was a good test taker in high school, I went to college, and I bullshitted my way through (that's a whole other story lmao) but like. I need to acknowledge that, by some privilege and luck, I do have a college education. so when i say this next thing, please take it with a grain of salt, but there is more to life than chasing what society tells us to chase - there is family, there are friends, relationships, hobbies and interests and love and dreams and spending hours playing video games and SLEEP and getting sunburned cause you spent too long out under the sun photosynthesizing and collecting pens or shiny rocks and ANIMALS there is so so so much in life and I hate with such a burning passion that, for the first 22 years of our lives, we are told the ONLY thing in life is getting through college, getting a degree. again, I need to acknowledge that I say that with a background of privilege, and that education can help people get out of bad situations, etc, but there are many paths to education and they dont all require you to put life on hold to get there

let me tell u a story real quick, cause my education looks (from the outside) "easy" (turns out I had depression and eating disorders of all kinds yeehaw !!!!). my sister did NOT have an easy time in school - my parents could afford it, so she had a tutor for some of her challenging subjects, but she also dealt with anxiety and depression the entire time. she didnt get into the college she wanted to, but got put in a sort of program where, if she got good enough grades in some community college courses, she could get into the school. so she worked her ass off, dove even deeper into her mental health issues, but eventually did get in. and then she had challenging classes and didnt have a great support system, and she ended up failing out of many of her classes, to the point where she got put on academic probation. so she took a year off, got a job at a daycare, and I have literally never seen her happier or more well-adjusted. shes going back to school now, for early childhood education, and working part time at the daycare while she takes a light course load at school

another story for you - my aunt graduated high school and went straight into the workforce. she came from a dirt-poor family and couldn't afford it. she bounced around a bit, but eventually found company that she worked well with. they paid for her to go to school, and she finally got a degree many years after what we would consider "traditional". she had a few other jobs, but shes been at her current company now going on 20 years, has been through several promotions, and works directly with a c-suite employee. she is also the only woman in her office, a very traditional trucking company where she works with engineers on a daily basis

there are many paths to education, if that's where you want to go, and it's okay if it ends up looking different from the traditional path were told to follow. do what you can to avoid sacrificing your mental health for an education - if its what you want, you will get there. and remember to ask for help along the way!! I hope that helps a little, dear