#sorry about this big wall of nothing but oh well
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everydaydg · 6 months ago
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So far, MadWorld is so good but a thought keeps peeking into my head the more I play.
The narrative is cool, the visuals are great, the combat has some oomph to it, that good impact; the music is great and the "over the top" violence is really well executed
But... this doesnt feel right on the Wii...
And I dont mean it in a "The wii is a family console, so violent video games dont work on it" kind of way, I feel that is an insult to all the M rated games/series on the system (Like Resident Evil, Project Zero, NMH, Dead Space Extraction and so on), but moreso in a... this doesnt feel right because of the limitations and quirks of the wii
The visuals are fantastic, the black and white comicbook look is something ive never seen done again after this and the choise to make the only other color red to emphasise blood? brilliant!
... but you're doing this on the Wii... a console that outputs at 480p and most consumers will use at 480i because they might not have a display capable of outputting at a high resolution or the right cables...
Which leads to a game that is ... quite confusing to look at sometimes, telling depth is a constant struggle for me due to the limited pallete.
When running it on dolphin I find myself having a way easier time making out depth (its still a bit hard to look at sometimes, skill issue on my behalf).
seeing how a higher resolution does help out a ton... I wonder why they never considered doing a port to the PS3 with all the benefits that would have brought like: HD, PS Move support (if you want the waggle funny business) a more solid framerate on some areas
It prolly would have been the best way to experience the game!
... oh I havent written a word about the waggle funny business have I. Who mentions the fucking PS Move before bringing up the wiimote- ah well
So, the controls! They work pretty well! A being the main attack is fun, swinging the remote for uppers or back handed attacks is a blast and the chainsaw is real fun! ... but theres a few limitations
Grabbing being mapped to A leads to grabbing things feeling slightly unreliable, the lack of a second analog stick makes it so the camera is a little jank, specially locking on to enemies; using the nunchuck's motion controls to dodge is not my preffered way of doing it, I find it to be a bit of an unreliable option for such an important tool in the game
And this shoudnt be a huge problem, they could have taken the NMH aproach of mapping it to the dpad or mapping it to Z... but they mapped jump to Z... I dont believe ill be doin any mayor platforming so why make a dedicated button to this instead of dodging????? Why not map it to the nunchuck's waggle????
Why map up on the dpad to pick up items... why cant it be A??
Why is + completely unused?! TAUNT CAN BE IN + MAN
in fact why the fuck is minus the pause button-
Why are 1 and 2 completely unused and why cant they be used for weapon switching in order to free the dpad or do something else... what is this fucking control scheme-
I know the wiimote is limited but why do it like this...
I have my issues... the game is good... but I feel bad seeing how its stuck on the wii with no other options outside of emulation... its stuck with these issues and I can see an all time classic thats stuck in the wrong place
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simjaexy · 30 days ago
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𝙄 𝙇𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙈𝙮 𝘽𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 | 𝙎.𝙅.
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Pairing — Virgin! Sim Jaeyun x Experienced! (F) Reader
Synopsis — Sim Jaeyun had a normal life. He was just a regular guy that worked in a small cafe and made coffee for customers. What he didn’t think was normal though, was that he was a virgin at the age of 22. Embarrassing enough, he never jerked off. Ever. Why you ask? Well, because he didn’t know how to. He watched porn videos from time to time, but never acted upon himself to jerk off. So what happens when he sees you enter the cafe for the first time and is in struck? Will he act upon to ask you out? Or will he scurry away like a puppy because he’s a virgin?
Genre — Crack, Smut, Angst
Warnings — MINORS DNI!!!, Jay and Sunghoon are Jake’s BFFS (saying this as a warning bc they are chaotic asf), Cursing, Reader is big money rich, Arguments, Name calling (Idiot and etc.), Switch! Jake (mostly sub), Jake is a somewhat pervert & awkward mess, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Loss of virginity, Making out, Jake has a big dick, Jake is bad at sex (but it’s ok bc reader helps him <3), Receiving (m&f), Sex (Unprotected, Sloppy, Rough, Cloth), Jerking off, Cum swallowing, Humiliation, Grinding, Eating out, Jake is a pussy drunk, Multiple orgasms, Crying, Hickeys, lmk if i miss anymore!
Wc — 10.7k
A/n — I spell experiment & experience wrong so bear with me. Anyways, happy to say I’m back to making fics! U could kind of tell I gave up on some parts so sorry abt that :/ I also wanted to make it longer BUT oh well (might be a part 2 but who knows)! I hope u guys like this one <3 It was kind of shitty since I had no idea what I was going for but it was worth a shot. If u would like to be on the perm taglist click here! Like, Reblog, Comment, etc.! Not proofread!
masterlist here
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“How do people like extra bitter coffee?”
Sunghoon questioned with a cup of bitter coffee in his hand, holding it close to his face to examine it. Jake, on the other hand, was wiping down the dirty counter. The morning was in full business, and the only thing heard in the cafe was the chatter of customers and the espresso machine. Jake chuckled at Sunghoons comment. He always judged what people ordered and the funny thing is, Sunghoon didn’t like coffee at all. He only applied to work at a cafe was because Jake didn’t wanna be alone. What also came as a moment was when Jay also offered to work too.
He glanced at the next order slip and began preparing a caramel macchiato, his hands moving with ease. They haven’t been working here for a long time, just a few months. They get paid pretty well so Jake really didn’t have nothing to complain about other than the shitty customers that would come around to argue with them. Sunghoon would usually escort them out because Jay would pick a fight. Jake finished the coffee and went up to the front, "Caramel macchiato for Sarah!" Jake called out, placing the drink on the counter. A young woman stepped forward with a grateful smile, taking the coffee from his hands and offering a shy ‘Thank you’. Jake returned the smile before turning back to the next order.
As he made the next coffee, Sunghoon leaned against the counter, letting out a long sigh, "I'm tired already, and it's only been four hours," Sunghoon muttered, rubbing his eyes. Jake watched Sunghoon, noticing the growing eyebags, but didn’t notice them until now in the bright lights. Sunghoons been working overtime lately due to his girlfriend and him recently having a fight. It wasn’t the first one they had, but clearly this was one of the worst ones. That’s what Jake also didn’t like. Fights in relationships.
Jake chuckled softly although he knew Sunghoon was having trouble. The only thing you can do is just comfort, "Don't worry about it. We're almost done. Just a little longer."
Sunghoon groaned, looking at the clock on the wall. The time is ticking slow and dreadful, "I hope so. I can't wait to go home and sleep.”
Jake laughed, shaking his head as he poured steamed milk into a cup, "You'll make it. Just think about that comfy bed waiting for you."
Sunghoon frowned, pushing himself off the counter. "Yeah, that sounds good right about now." He spoke sarcastically.
The two continued their work despite the exhaustion they were both feeling. It was a bit more bearable with having a coworker like Sunghoon by his side. They would joke around about anything together, along with Jay. Speak of the devil, the door to the back room swung open, and there behold Jay with a wide grin on his face.
"Fucking finally!" Jay said, his excitement palpable. "I've been texting back and forth with this girl all morning. She's planning something special for tonight. I bet I’m gonna get laid.”
Sunghoon rolled his eyes, clearly unimpressed, "This is like, what? The fifth girl you’ve talked too?Some of us are just trying to survive the day here. And what do you mean all morning? Have you’ve been doing your job?” Sunghoon ranted.
Jay raised his hands up, “It’s not my fault I haven’t had sex in a while. Besides, the last girl I had sex with didn’t want me wearing a condom! I ran out of there before she could say anything else.” He replied.
Sunghoon said something back, but Jake stayed quiet, zoning out. This is when he often felt out of place. He admired Jay's conversation about girls and sex, but couldn't quite relate to it. Sure he had a fair share of doing little dates with some chicks, but each time it always ended up with one of them saying they wanna have sex, which Jake didn’t want at the moment. They would then get mad and upset but can you really blame him?
Jay, oblivious to Sunghoon's irritation, continued, "Seriously, you guys should find someone to fuck. It makes everything so much better. Like, even this job feels less tiring when I know I have something to look forward to later at night."
Sunghoon sighed, shaking his head, "Yeah, yeah, Jay. We get it. You're a horny man. Now, can we please focus on getting through this shift?"
Jay rolled his eyes and scoffed, grabbing an apron, tying it around his waist, "Alright, alright. But seriously, you guys should think about it."
The three of them resumed making coffee and taking orders from customers. Despite the differences in their personalities, Jake thought they worked well together, each bringing something unique to the team. As the last customer left the cafe, the three of them let out a drawn sigh in unison.
Sunghoon stretched his back and let out a noise in satisfaction, “Finally, we can go home.” He hummed. Jake agreed, taking off the apron and hanging it on the hanger.
Jay did the same, “Well I’ll see you guys on Monday then. Boutta get some head.” He said. Sunghoon groaned in disgust.
Jay left while Jake and Sunghoon tidied up the place for the next workers tomorrow. After they finished they stepped out of the cafe with Sunghoon locking the door. The sun was already slowly setting, they should be getting paid for working overtime at this hour. Not many of the employees do.
“I’ll see you Monday?” Sunghoon asked. Jake nodded and smiled. They bid each other goodbye and headed in different directions.
Jake walked along the familiar path from the cafe to his apartment, the weight of the day bearing down on his shoulders. He wished he had a girl to go home too like Sunghoon. He could just imagine seeing her laying on the couch or watching TV in the living room. The closer he got to his apartment, the more the loneliness seeped into his bones. He really did wish for someone, anyone, to be there, but there was no one. Just him and the four walls that enclosed his existence. Finally, he reached his building. He took out his keys as he came face to face with his door and opened it with a click. He entered his apartment, closing the door behind him with a sigh. The silence not making anything better.
He took off his shoes, setting them on a rack near his door and headed straight to his bedroom. Changing into more comfortable clothing, he felt a slight sense of relief, though it did little to lift the heavy feeling in his chest. Deciding to stay distracted, he made his way to his laptop at his desk. He grabbed it and sat comfortably in his bed. He opened his laptop and went on Google, searching pornhub.com. There popped up different websites of porn, and yet none seemed to take his interest. He scrolled through all of them and decided to click on a random one.
Different videos of men and women having sex popped up. He scanned through the tags — missionary, pretzel, doggy style, milfs, young teen, it could go on. He clicked on one that seemed interesting.
Young teen girl getting pussy pounded by Dilf Dad- Very Hot!
Jake watches as the girl was sitting comfortably on a pink bedsheet. Collages of drawings in the background on the white wall. She was wearing a little skirt that showed her whole silk panties. Her hair was in a slick back bun. To Jake, she looked like an innocent girl. Then a man comes into view and faces the girl as she looks up. Jake couldn’t see everything, but he could see the Dad rubbing on the girl's cheek smoothly. She dipped her head closer to his palm, almost as if she was savoring it. Jake didn’t know what else happened before it cut to a scene where the girl was a moaning mess as the Dad fucks her roughly. He pulled her hair making her back arch like a bow. She let out sinful moans and pants leaving Jake wide eyed and wanting to hear more.
He hissed when he felt his computer rub along his now hard cloth dick. He lifted it up and saw his strained sweatpants. He groaned and set his laptop on the side of him and rubbed his dick awkwardly. Fuck, he really doesn’t know what to do. He let in a pitiful whine when he gripped and squeezed it. Just as he was gonna take his dick out of his sweatpants, his phone started ringing with a vibrating sound. He jumped. Who could be calling at this hour? With a sigh, he reached over to his nightstand and grabbed his phone. The screen illuminated the room just enough for him to see the caller ID. It was his boss. Jake's heart sank. He had a bad feeling about this call.
"Hello?" He answered, trying to sound as normal as possible.
"Jake, it's me," His boss's voice came through the line, sounding business-like as ever, “Would it be alright if you come into work tomorrow?"
Jake mentally groaned. He had been looking forward to his day off, to catch up on sleep and maybe even relax a little. But he knew he couldn't say no to him, besides, maybe he could get more pay, "Sure, I can do that," He replied, trying to sound more professional than he felt. He hated how good he did.
"Good," His boss said, a hint of relief in his voice, "I'll pay you extra for the trouble. See you in the morning." And with that, the line went dead.
Jake stared at his phone for a moment, feeling frustrated and dry. He tossed the phone back onto the nightstand and let out a long sigh. His day off had just been snatched away, and the prospect of another grueling day at work now loomed in his mind. He was getting extra pay, so it wasn’t that bad. He looked over at his laptop and noticed the video was over. He scoffed and slammed it shut. He turned over in bed, pulling the covers up to his chin, and closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would come quickly and give him a brief respite from being interrupted from his sexual time.
Jake's alarm blared at 6 AM, jarring him from a restless sleep. He groggily reached over to silence it, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He remembered the late-night call from his boss, and the reality of another workday settled over him like his heavy blanket. He dragged himself out of bed and headed to the bathroom. He turned the nob as hot water poured out. Taking off his clothes- he entered and groaned feeling his muscle ache. After he finished, he dressed in a comfy outfit. He glanced at the clock and saw the time. With a sigh, he grabbed his keys and headed out the door.
When Jake arrived at work, he walked through the front counter, nodding at a few of his coworkers as he passed. He wasn’t used to not having Jay and Sunghoon by his side. That’s when he is usually somewhat quiet, but still talks enough for people to know who he is.
"Morning, Jake," One of them called out. He responded with a polite nod and a "Good morning" before continuing on his way.
As he approached his workstation, he saw Seulri, a coworker who had always been talkative towards him, "Hi, Jake!" She said brightly, her eyes lighting up as she saw him.
"Hey, Seulri," Jake replied, forcing a smile. He liked Seulri, she was a girl that he felt like he could talk to anything about. But he knew she had a crush on him, and he just didn't feel the same way.
"I was wondering what you were doing today after work?" She asked, her tone hopeful.
Jake hesitated, searching for an excuse. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, but he also didn't want to lead her on, “Uh, I've got a lot on my plate today," He said, trying to sound convincing, "I gotta close the shop for the night." It wasn’t whole lie. He did have to close the cafe around night.
Seulri's face fell slightly, but she quickly masked her disappointment with a smile. "Oh, okay. Well, if you need any help, just let me know."
"Thanks, Seulri. I appreciate it," Jake said, feeling a pang of guilt. He watched as she walked away, her shoulders slumped just a bit.
With a heavy guilt, Jake turned to work on a order. He knew he could’ve had a chance to finally get into a relationship, but he wanted someone to know him for him. Not just some person that wants to satisfy him like Seulri. Jay and Sunghoon kept telling him to just fuck it and have sex with her for the hell of it, but clearly they don’t understand what Jake’s wants. What he needs. Jake mentally cursed at himself and focused back on working. He wasn’t gonna think about, at least not for today.
It was around midnight when Jake was wiping down the tables and stacking the chairs. He liked these types of nights where he could just feel the need to relax with nothing on his mind. He was the only one left for the night, his coworkers having left hours ago. With a sigh, he sat down on an open chair behind the front counter. Deciding to take a break, he opened his phone and checked through his messages. He took sight of the group chat he had with Jay and Sunghoon called ‘The 02zzzz’ and opened it.
Sunghoon: [Link]
Sunghoon: You guys gotta check this out.
Jay: Wow, that’s hot.
Sunghoon: Ikr
Jake eyebrows furrowed before clicking the link. The link took him to safari and there popped up a video. Jake could already tell it was a porn video just from the looks of it. He clicked play and almost immediately it showed a girl sucking a guys dick hungrily. Jay was definitely not wrong, it was fucking hot. How the hell does Sunghoon find these videos? Jake liked the message and shut his phone off. Just then the bell let out a ‘ding’ upon someone coming in. Jake mentally groaned and got up from the sturdy chair, pushing it to the side. He rolled his sleeves as he stared up and that’s when he felt the air get knocked out his lungs. There standing in front of him was a beautiful girl that looked about in her 20’s. Jake felt his mouth going dry from staring. She was beautiful.. and hot. She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and gave Jake a sweet smile. Yeah, he was done for.
“Hi! I hope your not closing soon,” She spoke, her voice sound as pretty as her face, “I just wanted a black coffee if that’s fine.”
Jake blinked once, twice before nodding slow. He shook his head. Get your ass together! He already felt like he was embarrassing himself enough by just staring at her. Wait, was his eyes averting to her tits?
“Oh! Yeah sure no problem, that’ll be $3.75.” He replied. The girl sighed in relief and pulled out her wallet, Jake wondered if she had been going all around town looking for an open coffee shop. Then again, he wasn’t particularly open either.
She extended her hand out with money which Jake took, he felt himself shiver when he felt her soft hands touch his. They were soft and smooth, almost as if she putted lotion before coming in here. Jake opened the cashier register and gave back a few change, “It’ll be done shortly.” He smiled. She nodded and went to take a seat not far from him.
He started measuring out the perfect amount of water, tamping it down with just the right amount of pressure, and locking the portafilter into the machine. As the hot water began to flow through the grounds, he glanced up back at the girl. She was rummaging through her bag, pulling out a laptop, a stack of papers, and a planner. Was she staying for a long time? Jake averted his eyes to the time. It wasn’t that late, but he is gonna be closing soon. He turned back towards her and as he watched her work, he noticed the dark circles under her eyes, a sign of sleepless nights and long hours. It reminded him of Sunghoons. Her outfit was sharp and professional, a tailored blazer over a crisp blouse, paired with sleek trousers. As he steamed the milk, he felt his phone vibrate from his back pocket. Must be Jay and Sunghoon. He grabbed his phone and checked curiously.
Jay: Fuck guys, I just had the best sex ever
Sunghoon: Tf? We don’t wanna know that
Sunghoon: … Was it good?
Jay: The fucking best, she was definitely experienced
Sunghoon: Damn, now I wanna fuck my girl
Jay: No one stopping you
Sunghoon: Yeah, she is. Still mad at me.
Jay: Must suck
Sunghoon: Everyday
Jake putted his phone away when he the machine stopped indicating it was done. He took the coffee out and poured it into a cup. He put a plastic top over it before setting it down on the counter. The girl noticed and got up to grab it. Maybe this could be the chance to talk to someone, “Rough day?" Jake asked.
The girl stared up at him surprised before chuckling softly. Jesus, even her laugh was pretty, “You could say that.”
Jake hesitated for a moment before asking, "Are you perhaps a businesswoman?"
She nodded, taking a sip of the coffee. She let out a relaxed hum. Jake felt himself smiling before she stared at him, “Yes, I am. How did you guess?"
Jake shrugged, trying to play it cool. He wondered if he’s doing a good job at it, "Just a hunch. You look like someone who works hard and could use a good cup of coffee."
She laughed softly, it sounded like music to his ears, “You have no idea. This is exactly what I needed. Thank you."
As she went back to her seat with her unfinished work, Jake couldn’t help but feel his heart swell. They barely spoke and yet Jake already felt a connection. Is this what love at first sight feels like? Cause if it is then sign him the fuck up. He wants to feel that all the time. He watched her eyebrows furrow while looking at a few papers before flipping to the next ones. Maybe if he actually had some balls he could distract her and make her feel better about whatever she was stressing about. But what if she doesn’t want to be distracted?
Jake mentally groaned at himself, he really is bad at this. He mind as well just tell her he’s closing since it’s already been a few minutes. As he was lost in his thoughts, he didn’t notice a little someone coming up to the counter, “Excuse me,” Her voice said. Jake whipped his head up and mustered up a nice smile. Shit, did she catch him thinking? She took out her wallet and pulled out around $20. Jake frowned and stared up at her.
“For letting me stay here even though you’re closing.” She spoke, “I noticed when I walked in you guys were supposed to close about five minutes ago.”
Jake nodded and stared back down at the money. Damn it was a lot. And with the extra pay coming to his check? He could go out drinking with the guys, but then again she didn’t need to give him money, “It’s no worries. Keep it.” He smiled.
She frowned, “Well now you’re making me feel bad. You’re working overtime because of me.”
“I was working overtime either way. I’m a slow cleaner.” Jake responded. He wasn’t really lying. She slowly nodded and put her money back in her wallet. Louis Vuitton wallet. Oh, she’s rich rich.
“Well, is there anything I can pay you back aside from money then?” She spoke. Her voice laced with concern. Jake gulped. This was his chance to hit it with a ‘a date would be nice’, but clearly she doesn’t look interested in him, right? Jake felt his heart pacing with each thought. Fuck it.
“M-Maybe a date.” He blurted out. Fucking. Stupid. Voice. Did he really just stutter? The girl blinked in surprise, clearly taken aback by the sudden sentence. Yeah, Jake was definitely gonna dig himself in a hole. He was gonna take back what he said until a little giggle was heard from the girl.
“I didn’t expect that, but sure. Why not?” She chimed. Jake felt himself freeze in place. She said yes. She said yes? She said yes! Jake felt like punching the air in victory but kept his composure.
“Really? Wow- I mean- That’s cool. Cool.” He replied. She laughed making Jake feel even more embarrassed. Has he always been this awkward? He wouldn’t be surprised if she changed her mind.
“ Well if we’re going on a date, you have to give me your number first." She said. Her smile never dropping. Jake's eyes widened in surprise. Right. How could he forget? He fumbled with his phone, his hands shaking slightly. He awkwardly handed it to you, unable to find his voice. You took it, entered your number, and handed it back.
"Text me," She said softly, "and we'll set something up."
"Okay," he managed to say, his voice filled with a mix of relief and excitement.
She went back to the table and gathered her stuff and walked out of the café. As she glanced back, Jake couldn’t help but feel his heart pang out of his chest. He can’t believe he picked up a beautiful girl all because he had the balls to do it. She gave him a wink, and that’s when she disappeared as she walked out of his view. Jake probably looked like an idiot, but he probably looked more of an idiot when he immediately took out his phone and checked her information.
L/n Y/n. That’s your name. Jake felt himself smiling at his phone like a weirdo. He has to tell the guys this. He typed the group chat name and clicked it.
Jake: You guys won’t believe what just fucking happened.
Sunghoon: You finally made matcha?
Jake: Even better, I asked a girl out and she’s fucking hot.
Jay: No way dude. I told you you can do it!
Jake: Jesus christ I’m scared. What if she thinks I’m weird for being a virgin at this age?
Sunghoon: Shit
Jay: Fuck
Jay: I completely forgot you’re a virgin.
Jake: Yeah I’m fucked.
To say the least, it wasn’t really Jake’s fault for not texting you at all for the past two days. What if you were waiting for him to text? You most likely were, but Jake felt like a complete idiot for even thinking you weren’t. Jay and Sunghoon tried to help out with texting you, as in saying ‘hey how about we just go on that date and see where it goes? No sex!’ but clearly that wasn’t gonna do any better. That’s also what you most likely wanted too. And Jay and Sunghoon know Jake would happily comply without saying he’s a virgin. To what Jay said, virgins are the last thing girls want to have sex with. They like experienced men. Men that would actually blow their back out. And yet, Jake wasn’t like that at all. He was a guy who never jerked off before and most likely never will.
“Dude you’re fucking fried if you don’t say anything soon.” Sunghoon said. It was already the afternoon when Sunghoon decided to break the silence with Jake’s situationship. Jake groaned and put his face in his hands.
“I don’t blame her if she’s probably getting pussy pounded by another dude by now.” Jay added. Sunghoon elbowed him. Jake glared at him even though he wasn’t really wrong.
“I don’t know. What if I just cancel it?” Jake muttered, running a hand through his hair. "What if I mess up- well I already did. What if she doesn't like me?"
Jay shook his head firmly, “No way, Jake. This is your chance to show her who you really are. You can't back out now. Who cares if you’re a virgin? I know I said they like experienced men- which is not a lie, but hey, maybe she likes inexperienced guys?”
Sunghoon nodded in agreement, "Jay's right. But if you really don't want to go, you don't have to force yourself. Just be honest with her."
Jake sighed, clearly torn. They both weren’t wrong. Maybe he’s just overthinking it. Maybe you did like inexperienced guys, "I just don't know what to do."
Jay patted Jake’s shoulder firmly, “Dude, just try.” He said. And when Sunghoon gave him a firm look, Jake knew himself what he was gonna do.
It was a lot harder than expected. He was debating whether you’re a caller or a texter. Would it be weird to randomly call you instead? Fuck, but to hear your voice would be amazing. So that’s exactly what Jake did. He typed in your name and clicked on it. His finger hovered over the ‘call’ button. He took a deep breath before clicking it. The line was silent for a few seconds before you answered.
“Hello?” You questioned. Jake suddenly felt the words he was gonna say disappear. You said it again as Jake shook his head.
“H-Hi! This is Y/n?” He stirred. He mentally slapped himself for asking an obvious question. A light giggle came from the other side.
“This is. Is this the barista I gave my number too?” You joked. If it weren’t for your pretty voice Jake would be assuming you were making fun of him.
“Yeah, it’s Jake.” He mumbled. You hummed against the line making him shiver.
“Didn’t expect you to call. I’m glad you did though.” You let out a breathy laugh. Jake nodded his head as if you could see him, “Well, did you wanna talk about the date?”
“Yeah, I did. I was wondering if you wanna go tomorrow? I’ll pick you up.” He said. He could practically feel his heart beating out of his chest when you were silent.
“Okay. Tomorrow it is!” You agreed. He let out a sigh of relief. It was perfect.
“Okay, see you then!” He replied. You gave a small ‘bye’ before hanging up. Jake tossed his phone on the bed and smiled. He was not gonna fuck this up.
Maybe he was. It wasn’t even a minute when Jay busted through his apartment door at nine in the morning with a tired Sunghoon by his side. Apparently when Jake goes on dates it’s a routine to help him with his clothes. He watched as Jay scanned through his clothing in his messy closet while Sunghoon was sleeping on his bed. Jake doesn’t remember telling them they can just do this.
“We definitely need to go shopping after your date.” Jay mumbled, but Jake heard the whole thing.
“Let’s not talk about your style old grandpa.” Jake scoffed. He rolled his eyes when Jay ignored him by sliding the hangers louder. He stared over at Sunghoon sound asleep, “Why did you even bring Sunghoon along?”
Jay stopped sliding the hangers and turned around, letting out a deep sigh, “He wanted to come. Him and his girlfriend are still fighting.”
Jake eyebrows furrowed. Seriously, it was getting out of hand. Is he seriously get no night rest with her? Jake tucked the blanket up to Sunghoon chest who let out a little snore. Jay was staring pitifully. It was quiet for a few seconds, not one of them talking until Jake’s phone started ringing.
“Bro, why is your phone ringing? Aren’t you going to answer?” Jay asked, raising an eyebrow. Jake glanced at the screen, and his heart did a flip when he saw your name. He scrambled to sit up, muttering, “Oh my god,” before frantically swiping to answer the call. Jay watched the whole chaos unfold.
“Hello?!” Jake practically screamed into the phone, his voice cracking slightly. Jay gave him a look that was equal parts amused and disappointed, mouthing, ‘chill dude’. Jake gulped harshly waiting for you to say something.
“Uh… hey,” You said on the other end, sounding slightly startled by his volume, “Just wondering… when are you gonna pick me up?”
Jake slapped a hand over his forehead, realizing he hadn’t even started getting ready yet. This was Jays fault, “Oh! Uh, soon! I just—I need to, um, get dressed real quick.”
There was a pause, and then your soft laugh, “Okay. Just let me know when you’re on your way, and I’ll text you the address.”
“Cool, cool,” Jake stammered, nodding furiously even though you couldn’t see him, “I’ll—I’ll let you know. Yeah.”
As soon as he hung up, Jay let out a sigh and leaned back on the closet door, shaking his head, “Man, that was painful to watch.”
Jake shot him a glare, “What? I answered, didn’t I?”
“Barely. You sounded like you just found out you won the lottery or something,” Jay teased, “Get it together, Romeo.”
Jake groaned, running a hand through his hair. He needs to practice to not look like a complete weirdo towards you. It’s more embarrassing knowing that one of his friends watched the whole thing, “Shut up. I need to figure out what I’m wearing.”
Jay watched as Jake sprinted towards his closet, muttering to himself about shirts and jackets, “This is why you’re single, dude,” Jay spoke. He heard Jake letting out a little protest but saying nothing else.
His phone let out a ‘ping!’ and as he snatched it off the bed he saw you send your address. You don’t live too far which is a good thing. Jake liked the message before he felt a heavy feeling on his back. He rolled over to feel a clothes on his back.
“Wear that. It’s better than nothing.” Jay spoke. Jake grabbed the clothing and scanned them. A slim fit blue cotton sweater with black pants. Surprisingly it didn’t look like bad outfit. Jake didn’t say anything else when he headed to the bathroom to change into it.
Jake emerged from the bathroom, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt as he stepped into his room, “Alright,” He announced, standing in front of Jay with an expectant look, “What do you think?”
Jay, who had been scrolling through his phone, glanced up—and then did a double take. He raised his eyebrows. It was definitely a nice outfit. Made by Jay obviously.
“Huh,” Jay said, a smirk creeping onto his face, “I’m surprised.”
Jake blinked, “Surprised?”
“Yeah,” Jay replied, sitting back on the bed, “Surprised it actually looks good. But then again, not surprised. I’m a genius when it comes to this stuff.”
Jake rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t help the small smile tugging at his lips, “Right. Thanks for your expert opinion,” He muttered, heading toward his closet to grab a pair of matching shoes.
Jay watched as Jake slipped them on, tying the laces with a focused expression, “You nervous or something?”
“No,” Jake lied quickly, straightening up and brushing his hands over his pants, “I think I’m ready.”
“Hold up,” Jay said, getting up and rummaging through a small drawer by the TV. A second later, he tossed something at Jake.
Jake caught it, frowning as he realized it was a pair of glasses, “What’s this for?”
Jay shrugged, “They’ll pull the whole look together. Trust me.”
Jake hesitated, then slid the glasses on. He turned toward the mirror near the door, adjusting them as he took in his reflection, “… Okay, not bad,” he admitted.
“Not bad?” Jay scoffed, “You look like you just stepped out of a catalog. You’re welcome, by the way.”
Jake laughed under his breath, he couldn’t be more grateful for Jay at these times. He grabbed his keys from the counter, “Alright, I’m heading out. Are you guys gonna be staying by the time I get back?”
Jay gave him a mock salute, leaning back on the bed again, “Good luck, lover boy. And no, most likely not, I’ll wake Sunghoon up soon and maybe get him breakfast.”
Jake shot him a grin. He shook his head, stepping out the door and heading toward his car, his heart pounding a little harder than he’d like to admit. Once he started the car he went right to your house. Jake drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, glancing at the GPS on his phone as he followed the directions to your house. The drive had been quiet, save for the faint hum of his playlist in the background, but as he turned into your neighborhood, he couldn’t help but sit up straighter.
The houses here were massive.
Each one seemed more impressive than the last—pristine lawns, tall gates, sleek cars in driveways. Jake felt his brows furrow as he passed by what looked like a mansion with marble columns. If you were this rich, why would agree to go on a date with someone like him? You could practically be dating millionaires! It kind of reminded him of Jays house. Jays house 0.2?
“Damn,” he muttered under his breath, double-checking the address you’d sent him. When he finally reached your house, he froze, blinking a few times to make sure he wasn’t imagining things. Your house was huge, the kind of place he’d only seen in movies. The front yard alone was immaculate, with perfectly trimmed hedges and a fountain in the center of the driveway.
He pulled his car up to the curb, feeling suddenly out of place in his old but reliable sedan. He sat there for a moment, staring up at the house in awe before shaking his head. Jake grabbed his phone and called you, his palms a little sweaty for reasons he couldn’t explain.
“Hey,” he said when you picked up, “Uh, I’m here.”
“Okay, I’ll be out in a second,” You replied, your voice soft and calm.
Jake hung up, taking a deep breath as he adjusted his rearview mirror. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but when you stepped out the front door, it felt like the air had been knocked out of his lungs. You looked stunning. The way you carried yourself, the way the evening light hit your features—it was almost unfair. Jake watched as you walked toward his car, his grip tightening on the steering wheel as his heart thudded in his chest.
You opened the passenger door, slipping inside with a shy smile, “Hi,” You said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. Jake didn’t respond right away. He was too busy staring, his brain struggling to come up with something—anything—to say. Up close, you were even prettier than he remembered, and it was doing things to his ability to form coherent thoughts.
“Hi,” He finally managed, his voice coming out a little rougher than he intended. You glanced at him, your smile widening slightly, and Jake felt like he was going to lose it. Fuck, you looked so hot.
He cleared his throat, quickly looking away as he started the car, “Uh, you—you look really nice,” He said, mentally kicking himself for how lame that sounded.
“Thank you,” You replied, your cheeks flushing as you glanced out the window. Jake stole another quick glance at you as he pulled away from the curb, wondering how he was supposed to focus on driving when you were sitting right there, looking like that.
The drive was silent but comfortable. He gave you a few looks as you stared out the window quietly. He assumed he should talk more when he gets to the restaurant since you looked so peaceful. He was hoping to God it wasn’t too expensive since he’s quit low on money as embarrassing as it sounds since it was Jays recommendations.
Jake pulled his car into the parking lot of a sleek, upscale restaurant, the golden glow of its soft lighting spilling through its large windows. He parked near the entrance, cutting the engine before glancing at you. You were staring at the building, your eyes wide with surprise, “This place looks… really nice,” You said, your voice tinged with awe.
Jake scratched the back of his neck, feeling a little nervous, “Yeah, I thought you might like it,” He said casually, though he’d spent way too long talking to Jay about ones that looked impressive but wouldn’t completely destroy his wallet.
You smiled at him, and it was the kind of smile that made him feel like he’d done something right for the first time, “I do. It’s perfect.”
Relieved, Jake got out of the car and quickly moved to your side to open the door for you. You stepped out gracefully, and the two of you walked toward the restaurant together, the soft sound of your shoes clicking against the pavement. Inside, the restaurant was even more elegant than it looked from the outside.
The low hum of conversation and soft instrumental music created an intimate atmosphere, and the warm lighting cast a golden glow over the polished wooden tables. Jake led you to the hostess, and soon enough, you were seated at a cozy table by the window. The two of you looked through the menus briefly before the waiter came to take your order, and the conversation flowed easily with the waiter as you waited for your food to arrive.
When the waiter finally brought your meals, the dishes were plated so beautifully it almost seemed like a shame to eat them, “This looks amazing,” You said, your eyes lighting up as you picked up your fork.
Jake smiled, watching your expression, “Yeah, definitely worth the drive.”
You took a bite, your face softening in delight. Jake chuckled at your cute expression, “Wow. Okay, this is really good.”
Jake took a bite of his own food and nodded in agreement, “They weren’t kidding about this place. I think I’m gonna start coming here every week.”
You laughed softly, “You’re really into food, huh?”
“Are you kidding? Food is, like, my love language,” Jake said, leaning back slightly, “Good food can fix almost anything.”
“Fair point,” you said, twirling your fork around your plate, “But if food’s your love language, what’s your hate language?”
Jake tilted his head thoughtfully like a puppy, “Cold coffee,” He said without missing a beat.
You burst out laughing, and Jake grinned, watching you, “Seriously, though. When someone orders an iced latte and lets it sit until the ice melts, I feel like I’ve failed them as a barista.”
“Iced lattes are your nemesis?” You teased, still giggling.
“Don’t underestimate how serious this is,” Jake replied, pretending to be solemn.
The two of you laughed together, and the conversation flowed easily as you continued eating. You asked him about his work, and he told you a funny story about a customer who ordered a “cappuccino but with no foam” and then got mad when it wasn’t a latte. By the time the plates were cleared, Jake felt like the two of you had been in your own little bubble, laughing and talking like old friends.
When you left the restaurant, the air outside was cool and refreshing. Jake walked beside you toward his car, his hands in his pockets. Once you were back inside, he hesitated for a moment before glancing over at you.
“So,” He started, turning the key in the ignition but not driving just yet, “Since I’ve, uh… seen … seen your house now…” You raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.
“I’ve been wondering,” he said, glancing at you quickly before looking back at the steering wheel, “What do you do for a living?”
You smiled knowingly, leaning back in your seat,“You were right,” You said, your tone playful, “I’m a businesswoman. I work in an office building with my friend. We run a consulting firm together.”
Jake’s eyebrows shot up, “Seriously? That’s… wow. No wonder you’re living like that.”
You chuckled softly, “Yeah, I get paid pretty well. It’s a good gig.”
Jake nodded, clearly impressed. Damn, you had it good, “That’s really cool. Like, actually really cool.”
You tilted your head, studying him for a moment before smiling again, “I think it’s cool that you’re a barista,” You said sincerely.
Jake blinked, caught off guard, “Me? Nah, it’s not that impressive,” He mumbled, suddenly feeling shy as he looked down at the steering wheel again.
“I’m serious,” You insisted, “It’s such a unique job, and it suits you. I bet you’re really good at it.”
Jake’s ears burned, and he couldn’t fight the sheepish smile spreading across his face, “Thanks,” He muttered, feeling like he was seventeen all over again.
You laughed softly, and Jake finally pulled out of the parking lot, his heart lighter than it had been in a while. As he drove back to your house he couldn’t help but laugh every time you pulled off a joke. You would giggle every time he told you a funny story about his friends. It was all too perfect to him. He didn’t want the night to end.
But sadly he soon got to your house and parks on the curb. It was silent for few minutes when you offered him a smile, “It was nice having this date with you. I mean, I didn’t know you were this fun.” You joked.
Jake chuckled, “You’d be surprised.” He replied earning another pretty laugh of yours. It was a few seconds of silence when you made eye contact with him. Jake did the same, though he noticed you were not looking at his eyes anymore, but his lips. He felt his heart pounding against his chest.
“I think you should-“ You cut him off by smashing your lips against his. It wasn’t dramatic or planned, just a soft, tentative kiss that felt like the most natural thing in the world. But Jake didn’t move. His lips didn’t press back into yours, and his entire body tensed as if someone had hit pause on him.
You pulled back, confused, your brow furrowing as you searched his face. He was staring at you, wide-eyed, his cheeks flushed a deep red, “Jake,” You said softly, your voice careful, “are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” He blurted, a little too quickly. His eyes darted everywhere except to yours, “I’m—I’m fine. You should, uh—you should go.”
The words must’ve hit you like a cold splash of water, “Go?”
Jake nodded, his hands gripping the edge of the couch so tightly his knuckles turned white, “Yeah, I think—uh, I think you should leave.”
You blinked, your heart sinking, “Did I… did I do something wrong?”
“No,” Jake said quickly, shaking his head. The last thing he wanted you to think was that you did something wrong, “It’s not that. It’s just…” He trailed off, chewing on his bottom lip as if the words were physically stuck in his throat.
“Just what?” You pressed gently, your voice barely above a whisper.
Jake hesitated, his face twisting in frustration before he finally blurted, “I can’t kiss.”
You stared at him, taken aback, “What?”
“I’ve never kissed anyone before, okay?” He said, his voice rising slightly before he looked away, embarrassed, “I didn’t know what to do, and I—I froze, and now it’s just weird.”
“Jake,” You started, but he cut you off.
“It’s better if you just go,” He said quickly, his voice quiet now, almost resigned. He still couldn’t look at you, “Seriously.”
He could tell you didn’t want to leave—not like this—but he sat there, closed off and distant, making it clear he wasn’t ready for this conversation.
“Okay,” you said softly, your voice cracking slightly, “I’ll go.”
Jake didn’t move, didn’t even look at you as you made your way to the door. You paused for a moment, your hand on the handle, most likely hoping he might say something, anything, to stop you. But he didn’t. As you stepped out into the cool night air, the weight of what had just happened settled heavily in his chest. He watched as you opened your door and shut it without looking back. He didn’t blame you at all.
Inside, Jake buried his face in his hands, his stomach twisting with guilt. He didn’t want you to leave, but he couldn’t get past the knot of insecurity and shame tightening in his chest. He was fucking stupid. Why was he such an embarrassment. Jay was right. No girl would like a guy who is inexperienced. A few seconds he started the car and drove back to his house.
Once he got there it was dark and cold. He slammed his bedroom shut and lay on his bed in his date clothes. He didn’t even think about messaging his friends about what happened. He was too embarrassed. Neither did he messaged you an apology. You probably already blocked him. And he would have no other choice but to accept it.
Jake stood behind the counter at the cafe, aimlessly wiping a perfectly clean section of the countertop for what felt like the hundredth time. The usual clatter of mugs, the hum of conversation, and the hiss of the espresso machine buzzed around him, but he barely registered any of it. His mind was elsewhere—stuck on the events of the night before.
“Jake!”
He flinched, his hand freezing mid-wipe as Jay’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Jay was leaning against the espresso machine, a latte cup in hand, watching him with a raised brow. Shit, did Jay noticed he was wiping the same place over and over? Before he could say anything, Jay cut him to it, clearly upset.
“What’s up with you?” Jay asked, tilting his head. His voice was a bit gentler than Jake was expecting, “You’ve been zoning out all morning. You didn’t even react when I stole that tip you left on the counter.”
Jake blinked, confused, “Wait, what tip?”
Jay snorted, “Exactly. You’re out of it, man. So… how’d the date go?”
Jake glanced at him and then quickly looked away, focusing on folding a towel, “Fine,” He said flatly. Jake felt a lump forming in his throat just remembering the vents from last night.
Jay set his cup down with a loud clink, “Fine? That’s it? You’re acting like someone ran over your dog, and all I get is ‘fine’? Spill it, Jake. What happened?”
“Nothing,” Jake muttered, keeping his eyes on the towel.
From the other end of the counter, Sunghoon appeared, balancing a tray of mugs. He raised an eyebrow as he set the tray down, “What’s going on?”
“Jake’s being weird,” Jay said, gesturing toward him, “He says the date was ‘fine,’ but he’s been moping around all morning like it wasn’t fine.”
Sunghoon looked at Jake, who was now scrubbing the same spot on the counter he’d been wiping earlier, “Jake,” Sunghoon said carefully, “Did she do something that made you uncomfortable?”
Jake froze for a moment before shaking his head. He knew Sunghoon would have his back if anything, “No. It wasn’t her. It was… me.”
Jay frowned, “You? What do you mean?”
Jake hesitated, gripping the towel tightly, “She kissed me,” He said quietly, his face heating up.
Jay’s eyes widened and let out a him, clearly not getting what the fuck was wrong, “Okay, that sounds like a good thing. Why are you acting like it wasn’t?”
Jake sighed, feeling the weight of their stares, “Because I panicked. I didn’t kiss her back. And then I told her I couldn’t kiss, and I—” He groaned, running a hand through his hair, “I told her she should leave.”
Sunghoon set the tray down slowly, his expression unreadable, “You told her to leave?”
Jake nodded miserably. Jay stared at him for a moment before letting out a low whistle, “Wow. That’s bad. That’s kind of embarrassing.”
Sunghoon immediately elbowed him in the side, “Jay!”
“What? I’m just being honest!” Jay said defensively. Jake didn’t respond, his shoulders slumping as he folded the towel into a perfect square.
“Okay, but seriously,” Sunghoon said, his tone softer now, “Why’d you panic? You like her, right?”
Jake let out a humorless laugh? “Of course I like her. That’s the problem. I’ve never kissed anyone before. I didn’t know what to do, and I freaked out. Now she probably thinks I don’t like her or that I’m some kind of idiot.”
Jay leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms, “Dude, you’re overthinking this. Freaking out over your first kiss? That’s normal. It doesn’t make you an idiot.”
Jake shook his head, “It doesn’t matter. I made it weird. She left, and now I don’t even know if I should text her or what I’d even say.”
Sunghoon leaned against the counter beside him, “Be honest,” He said simply, “Tell her why you reacted the way you did. She kissed you for a reason—she likes you. If you explain, I’m sure she’ll understand.”
Jake frowned, still uncertain, “You really think she’d want to hear from me after that?”
Jay nudged him lightly, “Absolutely. Just don’t overthink it, man. If you wait too long, you’re gonna drive yourself crazy.”
Jay was right. He was already crazy enough for letting you go like that. He nodded and gave them a small smile. He’ll make it happen today. He’ll apologize to you today. So, as soon as his shift ended, Jake didn’t bother going home to change or unwind. He got in his car, gripping the steering wheel tightly as he drove toward your house. His mind raced with what he would say.
“I’m sorry.” Too simple.
“I panicked because I didn’t want to mess up.” Too revealing.
“I don’t know how to kiss because I’ve never been with anyone.” He winced at that thought. He didn’t want to come off as pathetic.
The drive was short, but it felt like an eternity. When he finally pulled into your neighborhood, the looming houses made him feel like he was stepping into another world. They were big—bigger than anything he’d ever known—and it reminded him of just how different your lives were. He pulled up to your driveway, the size of your house making his stomach twist again. Shutting off the engine, Jake took a deep breath, gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. You’ve got this. Just explain yourself and hope for the best, he thought.
He climbed out of the car, made his way to your front door, and knocked. His heart pounded in his chest as he waited. Seconds felt like hours, and just as he was starting to wonder if you weren’t home, the door opened.
But it wasn’t you.
Jake blinked in surprise, his brain struggling to process who stood before him. It was Sunghoon’s girlfriend. Wait, what the fuck?
“What… what are you doing here?” Jake stammered.
She raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms, “I should be asking you the same thing.”
Jake opened his mouth, closed it, then managed to say, “I’m here to see Y/n? She lives here right?”
The words had barely left his lips when you appeared behind her, your eyes widening at the sight of him, “Jake?” You questioned.
“Hey,” He said awkwardly, shifting on his feet.
Sunghoon’s girlfriend glanced between the two of you, a knowing smirk tugging at her lips, “Well, this just got interesting,” She said, stepping aside to let you take over.
You hesitated for a moment before nodding and opening the door wider, “Come in.”
Jake stepped inside, his hands shoved into his pockets. The awkwardness in the air was thick, but before he could say anything, he turned back to Sunghoon’s girlfriend, “Wait—what are you doing here?”
She leaned casually against the wall, looking amused, “I could ask you the same thing again, but fine. I’m here because I’m her friend.”
Jake blinked, looking between her and you, “Since when have you two been friends?”
“Since we started working together,” She said with a shrug, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Jake stared at her, his mouth slightly open in surprise. He had no idea you worked together. Neither did he knew Sunghoon was interested in bitches like her. Before he could ask more, she clapped her hands together.
“Well, I was just leaving,” She said, grabbing her bag from the couch. She gave you a quick hug, then shot Jake a teasing look as she passed him, “Good luck.”
Jake stood there for a moment, stunned. He wanted to ask a hundred questions about her being here, but he decided to focus on the real reason he’d come. He turned to you, his nerves suddenly crashing down on him.
“So,” You said softly, crossing your arms as you leaned against the arm of the couch, “Why are you here?”
Jake scratched the back of his neck, avoiding your gaze, “I, uh, wanted to talk about yesterday.”
You straightened, your expression cautious, “Okay.”
Jake took a deep breath, forcing himself to look at you, “I just… I wanted to say I’m sorry. For how I acted.”
Your brows furrowed, but you stayed quiet, letting him continue, “I panicked,” He admitted, his voice quieter now, “I’ve never… I’ve never kissed anyone before. I didn’t know what to do, and I felt like an idiot. So instead of saying something, I just pushed you away.”
Your lips parted slightly, surprise flickering across your face, “Jake…”
He shook his head quickly, cutting you off, “I know it was dumb. I shouldn’t have done that. And I understand if you’re upset or if you don’t want to see me again, but I just couldn’t leave things the way they were. I like you. A lot. And I didn’t want you to think I don’t because of how I acted.”
The room was silent for a moment, the weight of his words hanging in the air. Then, you stepped closer, your expression softening, “Jake,” You said gently, “I’m not upset. I was just… confused. I didn’t understand why you reacted the way you did.”
He looked at you, relief washing over him like a wave, “You’re not mad?”
You shook your head, “No. I wish you’d told me sooner, but I get it now. And for the record,” You added with a small smile, “I like you too.”
Jake’s face flushed, his heart skipping a beat, “You do?”
You laughed softly, “Yes, Jake. I do.”
He let out a shaky breath, a smile tugging at his lips, “Okay. Good. Because I really want to try again. If you’re okay with that.”
“I’d like that,” You said, your smile growing. Jake felt like a little kid having a crush for the first time. You extended your hand out, waiting for him to grab it. He did and you escorted him to your living room.
It wasn’t a second when you suddenly wrapped your arms around his neck and stared at him seductively. Fuck, he’s really gonna do this. You closed your eyes and leaned in, Jake did the same. That’s when he felt your lips finally connecting. It was slow and gentle, as if he was gonna runaway again, but he wasn’t. He moved his lips slowly against yours, matching the pace. You let out a noise when he gripped your neck tightly.
Who knew your lips felt fucking amazing against his. His other hand rubbed against your open waist from your crop top. He suddenly let out a surprised whine when you gripped his dick. You froze and broke the kiss, your saliva connecting together, “D-Did you just whine?” You asked breathlessly.
Jake shoved his face in your neck, “Please, don’t make fun of me.” He whimpered. Your eyes went wide at the sudden tone of his voice. It was quiet and submissive. You then let out a little chuckle.
“Don’t worry. It was hot.” You admitted. Jake sighed when he felt you tug at his hair. He stared at you and gave you another peck on the lips. You slowly pushed him towards your couch as he fell back on it. You got on top of him and kissed him again, feeling his dick harden underneath.
He let out whines and moans feeling you grind so good against him. He never felt this type of pleasure before. You let out quiet moans as you bucked your hips. You lowered your head to his neck and softly sucked on it. Jake felt too much at the same time, he felt like he was gonna cum.
“Agh!- wait a minute!” He whined. You stopped sucking and looked up at him confused. He let out a shaky sigh, “I don’t wanna cum soon.”
You blinked. A smile was forming on your lips, “Why? Wanna cum inside me instead?” You purred. Jake eyes widened. Your mouth is so fucking nasty. He loves it a little too much.
“Y-Yes! Wanna cum inside.” He sighed. You lifted yourself up a bit and unbuckled his pants. He felt himself feeling more urgent the way you slowly undid his pants. He lifted his hips up to help you have access to his boxers. You lowered towards his cloth dick and rubbed it.
Jake threw his head back and let out a strangle moan. You gripped it, squeezed it, and stroke it. It all made Jake feel so dizzy and yet so good. You finally lowered his boxers revealing his dick, “Holy shit.” You mumbled. He was huge. Jake shyly covered himself with his arm making you giggle.
You gripped his dick and softly stroke it before spitting on it. Jake gasped when he felt your saliva trickling down his shaft and let out a cry when you suddenly engulfed his dick in your mouth. You gagged a bit feeling him hit the back of your throat. Jake eyes rolled back feeling his tip hit the back of your throat. You moaned around it and bobbed your head slowly trying to get used to the feeling. Jake gripped your hair and held you in place.
“Hah- M’gonna cum!” He cried out. Ghat didn’t stop you though. You took his hand off your head and went faster. Jake bucked his hips making you gag again, but the pain felt good. His orgasm came faster than he was expecting. Cumming deep in your mouth. What shocked him was when you swallowed everything easily. You took his dick out of your mouth and licked your lips.
Fuck, you were gonna be the death of him, “You taste good.” You said. As if it was the most normal thing to say after an intense blowjob. Jake breathed unevenly and gave you a sloppy smile. Round two of a blowjob didn’t sound bad.
You took off your shirt and unclipping your bra revealing your perky tits. Jake felt himself drooling staring at them. You giggled and grabbed his hands, putting them right on your tits. Jake cursed and gripped them softly. You bit your lip to suppress a moan. You began grinding again and let out a whimper feeling his tip hit your clit perfectly. One of Jake’s hand gripped your tit while the other helped you move your hips. You felt like you were gonna cum just from this.
You suddenly stop causing Jake to look up at you dazed, “Don’t wanna cum like this.” You stated. You got off of him and took off your underwear. With your pussy finally in view, Jake already felt like he was gonna cum the second time. You got back on top of him and grabbed his dick, aligning it at your entrance. You slowly sunk down and breathed out. He felt so big inside you. Is he gonna fit all the way? Your eyes teared up a little making Jake stare worriedly.
“D-Does it hurt? We can stop-“
“No! I’m fine. J-Just getting used to your size.” You panted. When he was fully inside you slowly grind getting used to the size. Jake had his head back feeling your velvet walls squeeze him so tight. You were so wet.
“Fuck, I think I’m gonna cum again.” Jake whispered.
You shook your head, “Try to hold it, please.” And who was Jake to say no? You began slowly going up and down, your moans now getting louder by each second. Jake gripped your hips and helped you. He bit his lip feeling you milk his dick.
The sound of skin slapping and moans bouncing off the walls made Jake realize he was actually fucking somebody. His moans suddenly got louder when you began bouncing faster, your tits jiggling everyone your pussy took his whole dick in. Your pussy was practically throbbing around him.
“Shit! Jake! Gonna cum!” You cried. Jake held your hips and started fucking you from below. You let out scream when you finally came all over his dick. He whimpered and went faster. He thrusted five more times before cumming deep inside you.
You panted against his neck as he slipped his dick out of your leaking pussy causing you to whine. You laid there breathless while Jake twirled a strand of your hair, “Sorry, was I too rough?”
You giggled, “You were perfect.”
He smiled and hugged your waist, “I’m glad you were my first.” He mumbled in your ear. You hummed and closed your eyes. It was silent for a few seconds before Jake asked a question.
“Have you ever got eaten out before?” He asked. You glanced at him and slightly shook your head.
“I haven’t. I’ve seen videos but-“ Before you could say anything else Jake suddenly flipped you over making you lay on your back with him on top of you, “Jake! What are you-“
He didn’t say anything when he lifted your legs over his shoulders. You shook your head frantically, “W-Wait Jake! I’m still sensitive!” You reasoned. But it went in Jake’s ear out the other when he lowered his face to your pussy.
No, he hasn’t ate pussy before, but he watched enough videos to know what he’s doing. He opened your folds with his fingers making you let out a surprised gasp before you felt his hot tongue lick you bud. You arched your back and whimpered at the new feeling. Jake licked and sucked your hole harshly, your pussy producing more slick from the pleasurable sensation. You felt tears gather in your eyes feeling overstimulated but not wanting him to stop.
You felt your orgasm coming and gripped Jake’s head, “Hng!- J-Jake I’m gonna cum!” You moaned. You felt your orgasm coming over you when he punched your bud with his fingers. Jake licked up your juices and hummed. You tasted sweet. He licked you clean and let your thighs fall on the couch, your legs shaking at the rough orgasm you had. Jake smiled and kissed your cheek.
“That wasn’t cool.” You breathed out.
Jake laughed and hugged your side, “I might do that again when you’re not expecting it.” He smiled. You glared at him, but couldn’t help the smile spreading across your face. As Jake held you close when you fell asleep, he couldn’t help but feel like he achieved something special. And it’s all thanks to you.
BONUS
Jay: How’d it go? Did she forgive you?
Jake: Yeah, we had sex ^^
Sunghoon: Ew, don’t type it so cute
Jake: Sorry
Jake: BTW I didn’t know she was friends with your gf Sunghoon.
Sunghoon: She is?
Jake: Yeah, she was at her house when I stopped by
Sunghoon: That explains why she was suddenly excited for her friend
Sunghoon: Ig she knew what you guys were gonna do
Jay: Are you guys still fighting?
Sunghoon: No, she forgave me when I gave her flowers
Jay: Good! So how about that threesome I was talking about-
Sunghoon left the group chat
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taglist — @laylasbunbunny @woofie-nctzen-fanarts @yoongisbaguetteshoes @enhypenlovre @melancholy-z @minghaosimp @dudewhoism @honeychocos @hearts4hee @tlnyjoong @1013club @yagsoobin @mrsjohnnysuh @heekilrvs @enhasrii @prettygurlnikittie @jakeswifez @yunhoswrldddd @seokseokjinkim @slay-you-slay-all-day @whateverhoon @luminouskalopsia @noturmommasstuff @love4hee @sayuridump @ddeonuu4me @selleprotection @jenn-ieverse @ddolleri @babyy-bambii @nikiswifiee @rjssierjrie @sweetshinypuppy @moonpri @harukayoiiiiiiizzz @jayjw16enxp @aanniikkaa @prkhoonlvr @devi1d0ppi0 @enhygene @talyaxia @demigodmahash @shawnyle @0hmyengene @dazzlingjaeyun @ancnymcnzjy @immortalonie @jenniferthekittycat @fancypeacepersona @skzenhalove
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rambling-at-midnight · 2 months ago
Text
Guide Me Home
Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader
Summary: While walking downtown, you inhale fear toxin. It's up to the Bats to find you before your heart gives out.
Word count: 3.1k
Warnings: Scarecrow attack, (kind of) graphic hallucinations (only a small allude to blood though)
Fun fact: As I wrote this, 'quiet' started to not look like a word anymore.
You rub at your eye, muttering below your breath. Wind has been whipping through the Gotham streets all day, drying out your contacts to the point of discomfort.
The next time you blink, one flips up. Cursing, you cup a hand over the affected eye and blink until the stupid contact rights itself. Digging around your purse, you find your suspicions to be true: after the last time you needed to use your emergency backup contacts, you forgot to replace them. The small bottle of contact solution is missing, lost to the abyss of the purse or somewhere else. All you know is that it’s not here.
The only alternative is your glasses, and those are always a last resort. With an outdated prescription, uncomfortably heavy bridge, and scratched lenses, they’re far from ideal.
It’s fine. You’ll splash some water on your face when you get to the cafe and blink a lot. They’re fine.
Your friend is already sitting by the time you get there, but hasn’t ordered their drink yet. You haven’t seen them for several months, though you used to see each other every day during undergrad. They’re only here for a work conference. They live in Metropolis now, and are wearing an ‘I SURVIVED MY VISIT TO METROPOLIS’ shirt to show it. A couple Gothamites around them are actively laughing into their hands at the sight of it. After all, compared to this city, really nothing is worse.
After the usual greeting, hug, and exclamations over how long it’s been, you say, “Sorry, but my contact’s actually killing me right now. I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll watch your stuff,” they say cheerfully.
The bathroom’s about as good as someone could hope for in Gotham. The remains of scrubbed-away graffiti lingers on the wall around the mirror, and a paper towel with a suspicious red stain hangs over the edge of the trash can. Not quite the vibe this place is going for, judging by the painted ivy around the walls and the hanging plants, but oh well.
You blink, squeeze your eyes shut, rub them, and open them again. Much better.
There’s a drink in front of your friend by the time you make it back to the table they found, pushed in the back corner where things are a little quieter. “They have seasonal syrups,” they say, sipping the drink. “Though a lot of them are named after supervillains.”
You scoff and shrug off your coat. “Please. Clayface is hardly a supervillain. He’s just a washed-up actor.”
“That must be nice,” your friend says wistfully. “Did I tell you I had to replace my car last month?”
“No!”
“Yeah! Some alien dictator had beef with Superman. A lot of cars were thrown in that fight.”
“Ugh,” you say wistfully. “We had some good memories in that car.” They’d had it since undergrad.
“Gone but never forgotten,” they say, holding their cup up for cheers, and you both remember that you haven’t ordered anything yet.
Even though you’re on a bit of a caffeine ban—boyfriend’s orders—you order a coffee. One a day won’t hurt you, not when you were averaging at least four during the recent busy season. The pathology lab you work at always has a huge rush of biopsies ordered between Thanksgiving and New Year’s. Now that it’s a little into January, you’re not scrambling quite so much.
With your drink in hand, you head back to the table to keep catching up. Your friend started a new job with a much better boss than their old one. They’re thinking about proposing to their partner of five years. Their dog got into their family’s big holiday meal and they had to order last-minute Chinese takeout instead. And they can’t decide whether to cut their hair or keep growing it out.
Then it’s your turn. You’re four years into your job at the lab, kind of feeling like you want a change, but the generous Christmas bonus is making you think twice. Your apartment is okay but not nice. Your cat is healthy and happy and extremely spoiled. Your family lives across the country, all with separate plans, so you stayed in Gotham for the (surprisingly uneventful) winter.
“What did you do for the holidays, then?” your friend asks, their drink long since finished. Judging by their eyes drifting back to the counter as you speak, they want another.
“My boyfriend’s family celebrates Hanukkah and Christmas,” you say. “Nothing too fancy, of course, none of us are terribly religious. But it was nice to see each other on a regular basis for a week straight.” Jason would disagree, but only out of principle. “We’re all busy people.”
“And your boyfriend? Jason, right? How is he? What does he do for work, again?”
Here comes the hard part. No matter what happens in your personal life, you can’t talk to anyone about it unless they’re in the know. Keeping Gotham safe requires a fairly large system; you and several other scientists or similar professionals are able to contact the Bats through Leslie Thompkins, Lucius Fox, and Commissioner Gordon, but of that number, only a fraction know their identities.
Working overtime at the lab as a new hire, you were the only one Leslie could reach at midnight when Black Bat came in contact with a mysterious substance through an open wound. From midnight to eight a.m., you collected blood and skin samples with hands that shook under the scrutiny of Batman’s white-lensed gaze. Your treatment was a gamble but a success, and after that, the Bats started to come to you more and more. So many of their rogues use biowarfare, after all. Still, it took over a year for Black Bat and Spoiler to take off their masks around you. At that point, you’d only seen Red Hood once, when he brought Robin in and ordered you to never tell Batman that he’d done so. Months after that, he took off his helmet around you, but only because of a nasty cut on his neck, and the domino mask beneath it stayed on. You’d known each other for a year and a half before he spoke more than five curt words to you at a time. Analyzing a new street drug was the first time you two ever worked together, and it was fun. After that, he just kept coming back.
It took so long to gain their trust, and you won’t risk it. But there are so many secrets. How can you explain to anyone else that not only is your boyfriend related to Bruce Wayne—yes, the Bruce Wayne of Gotham, billionaire, CEO, activist, and philanthropist—but he is, in fact, the man’s very publicly dead son?
So you can tell people about your boyfriend named Jason. You can’t introduce him to anyone from outside Gotham; the jagged scar on his cheek and glowing green eyes tend to raise more questions than answers. You can mention that he has a large family. You can’t tell them who his family is. You can tell them that Jason works flexible hours, usually at night, so the two of you see each other often despite your busy schedules. You can’t tell them what Jason actually does for work.
“He runs a not-for-profit community service organization,” you lie, the words familiar and tasteless from how often you’ve had to say them. And he sort of does, but with a lot more violence and criminal cavorting than most other not-for-profits. “He’s really passionate about helping Gotham’s kids that come from low-income households.” The foster system reform laws passed last year were lobbied by Wayne Enterprises, but it was the Red Hood showing up in politician’s houses in the dead of night that really sped up the process.
“I talked to Avery the other day,” your friend says. “They’re convinced you’re making him up.”
You sigh. Avery is another friend from college. You two were in the same friend group for years, but were never particularly close outside of it. “We don’t like to take pictures together, okay?”
Your friend eyes you with a faint air of dissatisfaction. “Well, if you say so. I was actually hoping to meet him while I’m here.”
You try not to let it show how your heart leaps into your throat at the thought. Around the lump, you say, “I’m sure he’d love to, but he’ll be stuck all day at the office.” Lie. He’s at home right now, baking muffins and wearing an apron with the words ‘Kiss the Cook.’ Damian and Tim scribbled over the two ‘S’s with Sharpie to make it ‘KiLL the Cook,’ but the sentiment is still there.
“Right,” they say slowly.
The meetup doesn’t last long after that. At the end of it, you hug and promise to meet up more often, even though it’s unlikely. With a wave, they head off for their conference, and you’re almost out the door when you blink wrong and—
Half the world goes blurry.
You feel the contact fall down your cheek and onto the ground.
“Goddamnit,” you hiss under your breath.
Glasses it is.
You’ve been wearing contacts for so long that you can take out the other one without breaking stride. The wind hasn’t let up in the slightest, and it makes your nose run.
Sniffling slightly, shoulders hunched against the chill, you don’t see the pumpkin until it’s too late.
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They’re after you.
It’s not safe, not for you, not for anyone, they want you, they’re grabbing you, hands on your shoulder, people screaming—screaming at you—for you to stop—no—for—for something to stop?
Something is wrong. Dimly, in the back of your mind, you know something is wrong, but your hands are shaking and your bag is ripping, someone is clawing at you, screaming, desperate, they want you to fall back so they’re safe (from what?) and someone else shoves you and you go spinning out, bag in one direction and you in the other and—
They’re changing, the person clawing at you, turning into a monster, and you scream.
They’re after you
(who is after you)
They want to hurt you
(why)
(what is going on)
And you can’t see, something is wrong, you hear glass crunch and then the whole world goes out of focus.
You can’t see.
They’ll get you if you can’t see, and now you can see them, the dark shapes rising from the shadows, claws out and maws gaping, hungry, hungry, hungry for you and your marrow and your heart and they’re going to get you—
You run.
You trip over something (or someone; something like a bone crunches) and your heel slides and your hands catch you but not really, chin clipping the ground so hard your teeth click, and your hands burn, and your chin aches, but they’re still behind you, behind and getting closer—
You run.
You run and they get closer and you see the corner of something dark and blurry, and maybe it’s another monster or maybe it’s a building, and you skid to a stop and throw yourself behind it.
It’s not a monster. It smells awful—a dumpster—and the ground is wet, you hope from rain, but maybe it’s blood
(you’re sitting in a pool of it)
(you’ll be covered)
(the monsters will smell the blood and come running and they’ll hear you shuffling, they’ll hear you panting, they’ll hear your heart pounding, pounding, pounding—)
You scramble to the farthest corner between the brick building’s corner and the dumpster—maybe their clawed arms will be too short to reach you—and hide your face in your hands—you need to stop breathing so loudly—you need to be quiet, quiet, quiet—
People continue to scream. The city, the city Jason and his family try so hard to protect, everyone is dying and you’re going to die and maybe they’ll die, too, or maybe they’ll survive, and maybe they’ll find your dead body and that would ruin Jason, or maybe they won’t and you’ll rot behind the dumpster, smelling just as bad as the trash inside it—
Quiet quiet quiet.
You can’t stop shaking, your teeth won’t stop rattling, and you have to be quiet quiet quiet.
But your heart keeps pounding, faster and faster. It hasn’t slowed down since the monsters came, it’s only getting louder and faster.
Dimly you think you might be having a heart attack.
Everything gets a thousand times worse when one of the monsters shouts your name.
How do they know your name?
Footsteps on the pavement and people have stopped screaming.
Dead, you think. And you’ll be next if you’re not quiet quiet quiet.
The monster shouts your name again. It’s louder—they’re closer. You curl into a tighter ball. They can’t find you.
Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Your chest hurts; your heart wants to jump out of it.
Jason, you think wildly. Jason will save you. If Jason finds you, he’ll keep you safe. Your hands fish at your side, but find empty air: your purse is gone. There’s no way to reach him, and he can’t even track your location through your phone.
The monster shouts your name again. It has a deep voice.
Another voice joins it, deeper, pitched lower. You can’t quite make out the words.
“They’re around here,” the first monster insists. “B, we don’t have long, this strain is strong—”
“They’re strong,” says the second monster. “Their heart can handle it.”
Something thumps and a third monster says, “Everyone else is clear. Signal had to take two people to the hospital, but they’ll be fine, don’t look so upset, B.”
“You have the antitoxin?” the first monster demands.
“Relax, Hood,” drawls the third monster. “‘Course I do. So you tracked them here?”
“Yeah, I just—” Again it shouts your name. It sounds almost upset. “Please, it’s me, I can help you. Come on. You’re safe. You inhaled fear toxin, I know you’re terrified, but it’s me. You know me.”
It’s trying to lure you in. You won’t fall for it.
You squeeze your eyes shut and hold your breath. Let them move on. Let them search somewhere—
“There you are.”
A hulking figure is blocking the light.
The monsters found you.
“Stop it!” you yell, trying to sound brave. “Leave me alone or—or you’ll regret it!”
“Please,” it wheedles, “I’m just trying to help you. Don’t you recognize me?” It reaches out with clawed hands and you kick frantically, but there’s nowhere else for you to go.
“Hey, aren’t these their glasses?” asks the third monster. “What happened to their contacts?”
“Don’t come any closer! The Red Hood will get you, I know him, if you hurt me he’ll kill you! Stop it!”
“I’m really sorry about this, honey,” the monster says, and its clawed hand latches around your ankle and you howl. The sharp points dig deep through skin into muscle and sinew, and it hurts and you’re going to die—
“Jason!” you shriek. “Jason, help me!”
“I’m right here,” the monster lies. “Please, I’m right here, look at me—”
You won’t. You won’t do it. You can’t watch while it kills you. “Jason, please!” you bawl again, but it’s too late. The monsters have you, you’re surrounded, he’ll never forgive himself but what could he even do against them—
Sharp teeth dig into your neck.
You’re dead.
“There we go, darling,” the monster says. Strong arms wrap around you—it wants to crush you to death—and you struggle, but there’s no use.
Except—
You can hear now, kind of, the rush of blood in your ears is receding a bit, and something heavy lands on your nose. This time, when you blink your eyes open, the world’s edges have sharpened. And the monster in front of you—
Well, you recognize the dark hair with a shock of white, and the brilliantly green eyes would be visible if not for the white-lensed domino mask, and the jagged scar on his cheek.
“Jay?” you murmur, hand coming up to touch it. He doesn’t flinch away. It took so long for him to stop flinching when you touch his face. Over his shoulder, you see Batman and Spoiler watching with satisfaction and slight worry. “What happened?”
“Scarecrow,” he says grimly. “He gassed the street, but only about twenty people were affected. I was patrolling nearby, and when I saw your purse on the ground—” He grimaces, then fixes you with a hard look. His two hands can span most of your head, and he takes it to press a firm kiss to your forehead. When he pulls back slightly, without looking away, “I want their heart checked.”
“The antitoxin—” Batman starts.
“I don’t care,” Jason snarls.
Your hands loosely hold his forearms, still shaking a little. “How’d you find me?”
“I tracked you,” he says softly.
“But my phone—”
“Honey,” he says gently, “of course that’s not the only one.”
Well. You should have guessed that, honestly.
“I’ll go check on the victims,” Batman says suddenly. “Come on, Spoiler.”
“Glad to see you’re okay,” Spoiler says to you, then dashes after Batman. In a whirl of capes, they’re gone.
“I’m so sorry,” Jason says in a rush.
“Jay—”
“I should have protected you,” he grits out, white lenses turning to slits as he squeezes his eyes shut. “This should never have happened—”
“You couldn’t have known,” you say softly, letting go of his arms and wiggling beneath them to wrap yours around his torso. Your nose wedges against his chest kind of uncomfortably, but now you can smell him, the familiar gunpowder and a little bit of sour sweat, and the faint tremble in his bones that mirrors the one in your hands. He clutches you close, head buried in the crook of your neck.
He croaks, “I’m so sorry, so sorry, so—”
“You saved me,” you mumble into his armor. “I knew you would.”
“I almost didn’t.”
“Jay.” You pull back to look at him seriously. “Even when I couldn’t think straight, I knew you would come. I’ll always know that, no matter what toxin’s messing with my head.”
Judging by the twist of his mouth, he doesn’t quite believe that. He’ll beat himself up internally for days, you know.
But you also know that while Bruce runs his tests in the Cave to make sure there’s no more toxin in your system, he’ll hold your hand the whole time. You know he’ll hold you tight in the bed you share tonight. You know, as long as Jason lives and breathes, he’ll always protect you.
“I love you,” he says thickly. “So much.”
“I love you too.”
“Let’s get you checked out.” He helps you up and holds you close and you know that you’ll be okay.
Jason’s here, so you’ll be okay.
DC Taglist
@evalynanne @mismatchsposts @cliosunshine @fictionalwhor3 @bellathecatastrophe
Let me know if there's anything you want to see from me. Inspiration strikes at odd intervals, and I get lonely.
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mydearlybeloathed · 2 months ago
Text
── 𝐖𝐄𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐑𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒
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𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you're less than pleased to be marrying the arrogant noble your parents arranged for you. On the day of your wedding, you cross paths with a pirate who seems keen on ruining your big day, and you couldn't be more thrilled.
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: luffy x fem!reader
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 8k
𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: minor alabasta spoilers, arranged marriage, I kind of went ham on the descriptions and readers backstory in general, violence, mother issues
𝐚/𝐧: *arises from where i fell off the face of the earth and throws down an offering* greetings.
𝐎𝐏 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
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“Respectfully…” You took a moment to compose yourself, sipping from your teacup and raising your eyes to settle on your soon-to-be husband. “You are the scum of the earth, Mr. Toleson.”
Mr. Toleson, quite used to this, only rolled his eyes and moved to pour you more tea. “Pray tell me what I have done to receive such contempt, Miss?”
That question could not easily be answered. Did your contempt stem from your lack of choice, or from Mr. Toleson’s less than agreeable disposition? Or perhaps from society’s overall decision that whatever may happen, you should sit still and be merry. Who cares if your marriage is loveless and your life unfulfilled?
You dropped another sugar cube in your tea and stirred it around. Maybe it was everything all at once. And Mr. Toleson’s… superiority in age didn’t help matters either. The rickety man just reached his late fifties, his hair reaching a color not yet gray, but most definitely not the brown of his youth. You’d seen pictures. He was a handsome boy twenty years ago, when you were but a lemon-shaped babe in the womb.
“I had plans,” you answer at last. “Plans that do not include you.”
His eyes twinkled like the idea was preposterous, his mustaches curling with his lips. Mr. Toleson gazed at you like a child, only discomforting you even further about the idea of sharing a marriage bed. “What plans, Miss?”
“It doesn’t matter,” you snapped back. “I’m going to be chained to you all my life. Even after you die, which I assume will be soon given the state of you, I’ll be forced into widowhood. I look awful in black, you know, and pretending to grieve would do nothing for my mental state—oh, where are you going?”
Mr. Toleson had thrown down his napkin, face hot and brows screwed together. He peered down his nose at your poor attempt at hiding a smile. “When you’re my wife,” he said, tone even and dark, gaze even more so. “You’ll do well to learn manners, Miss.”
There was a threat in there somewhere, for certain, and you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of a response. Mr. Toleson huffed out his too-small nose and spun on his heel, barking at a poor attendant to fix the table’s preposterous flower arrangement.
You gave the young boy a sorry look and stood to leave when a sharp voice filtered in from the next room. 
“Mr. Toleson! Where are you going—?” Your mother’s shrill tone cut short, a growl of your name soon to follow.
“Shit.” You whirled on the attendant boy with a pointed finger. He froze, eyes wide as several petals fell loose onto the table. “Please,” you hissed, pressing your palms together. “Ypu must help me.”
The boy dropped the flowers back into the vase, splashing a bit of water. With a single nod, he beelined for the window, unlatching it and swinging it open. You rushed over, his hands pushing you outside. “This is the only way out, my lady.”
“I’ll fall—wait!” You were swinging your legs over the sill before you realized what you were doing. Heart pattering in your chest, you cast him a look, but he was already shutting the window and drawing the curtains behind you. “Oh, dear.”
Down below, about twenty feet down and beyond the hedged yard, were the streets of the city, carts pulled by mules and passersby tracking dirt and mud and other materials across the dirt roads. You glanced around the outer wall of Mr. Toleson’s house. A trellis ran down the side just one window away, which you could use to climb down to then jump into the hedges. Stealing a breath, you began to inch along the window sill, setting a delicate foot on the wide declarative trim running from each window to the next. When it didn’t crumble beneath your foot, you went on, barely breathing as you clung flush to the wall.
Reaching the window, precariously making a step up to the next sill, you nearly tipped backward when you caught your mother’s back through the window. Feet slipping, you scurried down the trellis, losing your grip every few seconds and clinging to the wall. Eventually, you touched the earth, dusting off your dress as you faced the garden wall. Ivy ran all along it, but you’d done enough exploring whilst avoiding Mr. Toleson’s advances to know that a gate hid behind the green. It led right into a damp, drippy alleyway. You cringed down at your custom-made shoes, costing a fortune for certain. Sacrifices had to be made, and today, your shoes paid the price. 
Your wedding was a day away, and with it the end of your happiness. Not that anyone cared about your happiness those days. Expelling a sigh, you wandered the streets till nightfall, returning to the grand house in the dead of night.
Your mother paced the entry hall when you stepped inside, the tall door booming shut behind you. Her eyes were on you like a hawk, her words sharp knives. “Where have you been?”
“Uptown,” you drawled, tossing your now dirtied shoes across the carpet. “Downtown. Midtown. Where haven’t I been is the real question.”
She looked close to exploding, cheeks inflated and lips pinched together. “You embarrassed me—You embarrassed Mr. Toleson!”
Waving an absent hand, “I couldn’t care less, woman. Now let me be before I drop dead of melancholy.”
A stiff utterance of your name struck the air, the impact on your back fleeting as you swept upstairs. Again and again, she cried your name till it sounded more like a beg than an order, and it halfway made you desire to face her. But facing your mother and having her see you had long been a futile task. 
Her voice struck your back until you reached the top of the stairs and darted down the hall, whipping open your bedroom door and slamming it back behind you. Swiftly locking it, you clawed at your chest, skin constricting and choking you out. That woman… your mother could never understand.
Once, you hoped maybe she could. Your oldest servant, a frail woman who’d been serving your mother for a decade, told you that your mother went through the same unfortunate situation as you. She walked an aisle leading to shackles, just as you would at tomorrow’s soon-coming dusk. But time had turned that woman cold, making her hellbent on sentencing you to the same fate.
Eyes scanning the room, you gave a shaken sigh. Tomorrow you would be forced into a similar room, but that one you would share with Mr. Toleson. Your skin crawled. “At least he only wants my money. He cares for nothing else.”
You slipped into bed, unsure of the next good sleep you’d receive.
જ ⁀ ➴
Up with the sun, you dressed quickly and slipped out of the house, careful not to make a sound as you exited onto the street. There was ample time between sunrise and the ceremony, each second passing with a daunting swiftness. Soon, the morning bells rang throughout the city, signaling that noon had fallen. 
You stared up at the sky as the chimes fell silent, chest constricting. This walk around the city had done nothing to quell your distress. In anything, it made it worse; people on the street beamed and congratulated you on sight, offering you flowers and well-wishes. You received them all with practiced kindness, even as doom lurked behind you.
“Just a few more hours,” you mumbled, taking refuge in a damp alley. “I can visit the old pond… perhaps the frogs will be out.”
Nodding, you slipped back out with a ducked chin, walking quickly through the crowds until so little as three people were around and the the stone streets faded into soft dirt paths underfoot. Through sparse trees and lonely wood, you made your way to the duckpond on the outskirts of the city. Not a soul around; perfect.
You plopped yourself on the ground and hugged your knees to your chest, oblivious to the dust curling around you. Maybe, if you stayed right there all day, no one would find you. You could sit through the whole ceremony—through the whole year, till weeds crawled up your limbs and rocks were surfaced by the winds. You’d become part of this pond when the rain fills it beyond the banks, dissolving into an urban legend of what happens to heartbroken young women.
You smiled for the first time in many weeks. That fate sounded as lovely as anything.
The reverie broke as voices crept up behind you. Peeking over your shoulder, you spotted two entities: the first being the constable, and the second farther behind him. This group of people was more like a gaggle, or perhaps a rabble, their boisterous tones causing the constable to cast them a glare.
You jumped to your feet before he could face forward again and darted toward to big oak tree you used to climb in your youth, skidding to a halt right behind it. The constable was good friends with your fiance and would surely escort you back home the instant he saw you. 
“Are you sure we can fish here?”
“I’m sure no one’s told us we can’t.”
“Sanji!”
One of the voices, presumably the one called Sanji, laughed in reply while their counterpart grumbled under their breath. Part of you felt the need to jump out and warn them against it, because surely the constable would be quick to apprehend them. But then he would also surely apprehend you.
“Sirs,” the gruff voice of the constable barked, right on cue. “Fishing in this pond is strictly prohibited. It’s for viewing only by law.”
The one called Sanji clicked his tongue. “Is there some sort of sign we missed? Because there’s no warning stopping us.”
Oh, dear. “I’m here to stop you. Now please, put away your tack and gear.” There were a few indignant huffs, but no rustling of a confrontation. Good, good… 
“Right. Now, have either of you gentlemen spotted a young woman about?” The constable proceeded to give your exact description, spiking a panic within you. The search party had already begun. “No? Drat. Perhaps I’m at the wrong pond… Good day to you…”
You remained behind the tree for five long minutes, listening to the constable’s steps fade away and the conversation between the two men go on. Peeking out, you saw a tall skinny blond and a man with dark skin at the pond’s edge, fishing of all things.
Puffing your cheeks, you stepped out with crossed arms. “He told you it's not allowed!”
Their heads swiveled around, eyes wide and startled. The blond was the first to recover, his hold on the fishing rod slackening as an easy smile slid across his face. “My, my, what kind of nymph are you?”
Your cheeks warmed as his eyes scanned you up and down. “The angry kind.”
The other man quirked a brow, quicker than the other. “Was that guy looking for you?”
Alarms went off in your mind. “Never mind that, just don’t fish in my pond.”
“Whatever you say~”
“Sanji!” 
Satisfied, you trudged off, letting their bickering be drowned out gradually. With the knowledge that the whole city now knew to look out for you, probably thinking the aloof noble girl just lost track of time, you took the long way around, slinking through dirty alcoves you once called your kingdom some years ago. 
This whole city was your empire, in your mind. You and the other young girls and boys traipsed about without a care, creating your own world only the lot of you could see. You, of course, were high empress of all alleyways.
Growing up like this meant your mighty empire was toppled. All your old friends had new lives now, time ticking by with mundane tasks and masks to keep up. Many of them would attend your wedding,  but they might as well be strangers now. Such was the way of your city. You get old and you lose your life. 
A subtle burn welled up behind your eyes as you rounded a dark corner and found the old crates you’d formed into a palace, untouched and frozen in time as the curling alleys of the city grew dusty from neglect. You stopped short at the sight, quickly snapping back to reality and darting away, running as fast as you could to get away. Left and right, you were reminded of how expansive these alleys really were, and how easy it was to get lost in them.
Not that you would ever get lost; you’d cling to your memories as long as possible. You knew this place like the back of your hand, so it was a surprise when instead of a dead end, you turned to find a long alley leading out to the market. The scent of the baker’s stall and sweet rolls being sold wafted down to you, providing a momentary calm—before that laugh broke it all down.
Creeping back around the corner, you waited for the laugh to stop, peering around to find that you weren’t alone. Near the mouth of the alley, a boy stood clutching his chest, laughter fading even as he glanced out onto the street. For just three whole seconds, you swore he was something out of a novel.
Pretty face  scarred on one side, but it didn’t make him any less to look at. Hair windswept despite the stillness, clothes ratty in some places and newly stitched up in others. Whoever he was, you’d never seen him before, so where exactly did he come from?
“Hey.” You blinked widely, realizing quite too late that you’d been caught. Locked in severe eye contact, you ever so slowly retreated back around the corner, flattening yourself against the wall. Maybe if you didn’t breathe, he’d think he hallucinated and walk away.
“Hey,” that boy said again, closer now. “What’re you doing?”
You didn’t make a sound, flush against the wall as if trying to disappear even when his face appeared in your peripheral. He blinked, waiting for you to do something. “Why’re you being so weird?”
“I, well…” You glanced around, anywhere but his face. “I was taking a walk.” You tensed up, held your breath, and blurted, “I don’t talk to strangers!”
You stared hard at the ground, hoping that he’d think you were crazy and walk away, but then the boy laughed at you. Gasping softly, you raised your head and gazed at him softly, lips parted slightly. Nobody had ever laughed at you before, at least not to your face like this boy, heaving as his chuckles faded. 
“You’re talking to me anyway.” He had you there. His eyes glinted despite the sun being obscured by the tall buildings. 
“I…”
He thrust out his hand suddenly. “I’m Luffy.” His hand, his face. His hand, his face. Your eyes darted back and forth until you finally settled on his hand. Dirty, that was the first thing you noticed, and then the callouses. You’d only seen hands like that on a sailor. 
You blinked back up at his face, locking in on his eyes. Sailors weren’t to be trusted. They took young girls’ hearts, along with something more personal, and set back off to sea. That’s what your mother said, but you had a feeling your mother had never seen someone like Luffy before. You’d never seen anyone like Luffy, so bright he could’ve been the sun itself. You took his hand quickly, shaking it firmly, and introduced yourself. 
Luffy chuckled. “Now I’m not a stranger.”
You couldn’t help but crack a grin. “I suppose not. Do you sail?”
“How’d you know?” Luffy tilted his head, leaning back on his heels, and you forgot how to speak. Luffy wasn’t too bad to look at. He was unlike any of the handsome boys you’d seen in court, sure, but that didn’t matter. Perhaps it endeared you more. Luffy, whoever he was, was different from everything you knew.
“You hands, I suppose. They’re like a sailors’.”
His laugh was odd, like a shi-shi-shi sound, prompting a stifled snort out of you as well. “Yep! I’m a pirate!”
Instantly, your whole face dropped, frozen in place. “Oh… that’s… something.”
Pirates were very different from regular sailors. They stole and pillaged and plundered and did many other terrible deeds. Your great-grandfather had been killed by a pirate… but you’d never known him. It’s all hearsay. Besides, Luffy didn’t look like he would ever think of maiming you. He looked like your next good friend, even if just for now. 
“Your crew is here, then?” you asked, moving to sit atop a set of crates along the wall. Luffy jumped as he followed, plopping in the dirt in front of you instead. 
“Mhmm. They’re… somewhere.” He snickered. “We just left Alabasta, y’know.”
You leaned forward to gawk at him. “So you saw what happened? With Crocodile? It was crazy.”
Again with that strange laugh of his. “Yep. I’m the one who beat his ass into the ground!”
“You—huh?” Tilting your head, his smile infected you, tugging at your lips. “So, you’re the savior of Alabasta? Not that marine?”
You sat in awe as he told you everything, going so far back that you learned exactly how he met Princess Vivi. By the end of an hour, you were on the edge of your seat, knees snug against your chest as Luffy described it all in grand detail. 
“Wow… that sounds amazing. Not the part where you nearly drowned in sand, but you know.” Resting your chin on your knees, “You must feel so… free out there.”
Luffy nodded quickly, eyes unfocused for a moment, staring at the unseen. “Yeah. It’s amazing.”
Your smile grew dim and melancholy. The bells of evening rang in the distance. “Thank you for telling me your story, Luffy. You didn’t have to do that.”
He shrugged one shoulder, his expression one you could only call cute. “You wanted to know… what’re you so sad for?”
You hummed, startled. “I’m not sad.”
“Are too,” he said, eyes narrowed. “So what is it?”
For some time, you didn’t say another word. Luffy stood now, hands planted on either side of yours knees as he stared right at you. It wasn’t threatening or seductive, simply curious in a way you’d never witnessed. Like he truly wanted to know. And so, you told him.
“I’m getting married. Today.” You shut your eyes and grimaced. “And I don’t want to, but I have no choice.”
“So… don’t?”
You reeled back. “Did you not hear me? I have to.” Luffy only tilted his head as you scoffed at the sky. “My only choice is to comply with the path set before me. If I stray too far… I can’t stray too far.”
You hardly realized how angry you’d gotten till Luffy’s finger poked at your forehead once, twice, three times. You blinked slowly. “What?”
“I don’t really get it,” he said. “But you seem pretty sure.” He was right in your face, oblivious to the fluster rising in your face. And then he smiled a beaming smile. “Hey, why don’t you—”
“There you are!” A coil formed in the pit of your stomach, eyes slowly drifting to the mouth of the alley. The constable stalked toward you looking as relieved as he was pissed off. “Your mother’s been sending everyone out for you, miss. Have you lost your mind?”
“Sorry, sir,” you mumbled, ignoring how Luffy stared at you all perplexed-like. “I’ll… I was looking for some flowers for the parlor. Didn’t find a patch in bloom. I’ll head back now.”
The constable stepped forth, not yet noticing Luffy. He began to loom over you, and only when Luffy inched closer to your side did the constable’s gaze flicker to him. Disgust was the only word to describe how the constable looked at Luffy. “Let me escort you home, miss. Wouldn’t want you to lose your way again.”
You looked between the two of them nervously. “Of course, sir.” You stood from the crate and moved to follow the constable, hoping beyond hope Luffy would forget the entire ordeal, for his sake. The constable was going to forget all about your new friend, if only Luffy stayed quiet.
“Hey.” You tightened every muscle in your body. “Who’s she marrying anyway?”
The constable jerked to a stop, his deepset brow furrowing.
“Only the most powerful man around,” the constable replied very carefully, very calculated. He sized the boy up. “She’s very lucky to be marrying Mr. Toleson.”
“Let’s go, sir,” you insisted, daring to hook your arm through the constable’s and nearly drag him away. He dug his feet in. “Introduce me to your friend, miss.”
“He’s—he’s not my friend,” you blurted, eyes glued to the ground. “Sir, let us go. I’ve made us late enough. I have to prepare—”
Luffy took a daring step forward. “You shouldn’t have to marry someone if you don’t want to.”
The constable gritted is teeth, hand closing around your arm. “What would you know about what she wants?”
“Let’s go—”
“She doesn’t like this Tole guy,” Luffy persisted. Your eyes pleaded with him, but he wasn’t looking at you, sight set on the tall man beside you. “So she shouldn’t marry him. Tole-y can find someone who actually likes him if he’s so desperate—”
“Shut. Up.” Dangerous. Your tone was dangerous, wide glare moreso. Luffy silently eyed you, looking right through to your soul. “Goodbye. We have to go. Places to be. Come, Constable.”
Halfway turned, the constable kept one eye on your friend, feet slowly following after you—when Luffy reached out, grabbed your shoulder, and tried to tug you to his side. You whipped around to smack him, but your palm swiped at air. 
Luffy stood five feet back, his arm stretched beyond comprehension and latched onto your shoulder.
“What the…” Head foggy, you barely registered the click of a gun till it rose in your peripheral. Everything went by far too quickly, and suddenly you stared down the head of the constable’s pistol, gasping like you hadn’t a clue how you’d got there. 
“Get out of here, Luffy,” you ordered, not taking your stare off the constable. “I won’t say it again.”
He was gone when you finally chanced a look over your shoulder. The constable swiftly took your arm in a vice and led you onto the street, holstering his gun and muttering, “Street rats have no place here.”
“Sea dog,” you corrected absently, quite out of your own head. “He’s a pirate, so, sea dog.”
As if that would cease his endless muttering.
You were shut inside your house and shuffled away to a sunny parlor, tended to by maids you’d known since birth, their chattering unable to draw you out of your stupor as they powdered your face and tightened a corset round your waist till the room started spinning. 
Meanwhile, a pirate boy returned to his friends, not sparing their newly caught fish a second glance as he asked Robin if she’d heard anything about a wedding in the city. The archeologist grinned as if she knew precisely what had transpired in that alley, though she couldn’t possibly have.
At any rate, the notorious Straw Hat pirates now prepared to act on their captain’s whim, not one of them questioning when he said his “new friend” was in trouble.
જ ⁀ ➴
The carriage ride to the chapel was so you bumpy you were half convinced the driver did it on purpose. You sat wobbling from side to side, eyes glazed over, and you let your mind drift away—you became a specter, wandering blindly till you blinked, and you stood in a sunny side-room, waiting to be fetched for the altar.
Your arms like gooseskin, you peered into a spotless mirror despondently. Your hair was done up prettily, face caked in different powders and creams. The sickening scent of rose perfume surrounded on all sides. The dress fit nicely, not too tight, not too loose. Perfect. Not a thing was out of place.
It all set in at once; by the end of the hour you’d be Mrs. Toleman. Your mother would receive all the benefits, all the praise. She’d smile and really mean it. Your husband would be free from bankruptcy, your family’s massive inheritance given to him the moment you say, “I do.” You’d stand on his arm the rest of his life, the perfect ornament, so quiet and dull. 
An older woman fussed over the tears dotting your lashes, roughly swatting them away with her handkerchief, chastising you for such childishness. 
“If my daughter were in your position,” she said after nearly gauging your eye. “She’d be ecstatic.”
You gazed quite darkly. “Your daughter was in my position,” you whispered, causing her to freeze putting away her handkerchief. “I’m sure you recall her escaping to the circus very clearly.”
A sharp gasp. A drawn hand. Your mother stepped into the room, flustered beyond compare, and the maid resigned to fume quietly. You wished she would slap you. Perhaps the strike would redden your face so much that the whole thing was called off. 
“Well,” your mother exasperated, eyes raking down your form. “I hope you’re ready. Look pleasant.”
She weaved an arm through yours as a bouquet of lilies was shoved in your hands. A sneeze crawled up your nose and died as you held your breath, for the next moment you faced two long and full rows of people you’d never met and would never see again. 
Despite the petals and music and lovely weather, it felt very much like a funeral march. The empty faces of the guests chilled you to the bone, not one of them sparing even a grin. A few checked their watches. One boy tugged on a young girl’s pigtail, and the girl was swatted for disturbing the peace. A ginger girl fought with a green-haired male in one of the farther pews. Against the far wall a blonde caterer absently smoked a cigarette. Somewhere, a bird sounded like it was dying, crooning a sad song.
This damn city. These damn people. You’d die here, physically, spiritually, and mentally so. White hot panic welled up within you, but it was far too late to even think of darting for the door; you stood before your groom, gazing blankly into his chest.
You felt as if you were dying, a life so short flashing before your eyes as your hands were taken into the clammy grasp of Mr. Toleson. He wore no smile, no warmth upon his face. Only cold indifference. You hoped you looked the same, lest he spy your terror. 
The officiator droaned on meaningless words, warbled by your dazed mind. Only when your hands were squeezed harshly did you refocus, blinking widely.
Clearing his throat, the officiator shuffled uncomfortably. “Do you take this man to be your husband?”
Were you at this bit already? Heart thundering, you didn’t dare to look at Mr. Toleson, panicked gaze flickering to the now bated audience. Every eye stared at you, boring into you fiercely, only worsening your condition. 
“I…”
Mr. Toleson gripped you tightly, painfully. He gritted out just for you to hear, “You what? We haven’t got all day…”
“I–I…” A gulping breath. A flash of red ribbon and straw. Cutting your eyes across the room, you settled on a boy near the back of the pews, a grin emblazoned on his face. He caught your eye and held it fast. You hardly believed your eyes, yet understood in an instant.
“Miss,” said the officiator.
Luffy tilted his head, as if asking are we doing this? You chanced a flicker of a smile. 
You ripped your hands from Mr. Toleson’s sweaty grip, eyes wide and childish smile inching across your face as the room filled with sharp gasps. Gaze flickering up to Mr. Toleson’s aghast expression, you lurched back three, four, five steps till your heel met the edge of the raised platform. As you slipped to the floor a hand settled on the small of your back. The caterer planted his feet beside you, face grim as he gritted down on his cigarette. 
“Are you alright?” he muttered. You gave a quick nod.
The point of no return had come, and you’d taken the path once blocked by a landslide, the path you’d dismissed entirely just an hour ago. Your mother gasped your name, a hissed out word, drawing your gaze quickly. She was deathly pale, like she was about to be sick. No sympathy of yours rose to meet her, none at all, and the freedom of two words boomed from your chest. 
”I don’t!”
Silence. You heaved in a breath of air, and no one said a word. Like time had stood still. A litheful, frightening laugh ripped through the church and everything sped up all at once.
“Why�� you…” Mr. Toleson’s face rivaled the ripest of tomatoes. He hadn’t so much as taken a step when the caterer whirled around and kicked him right in the chest. He blew his hair out of his face and stomped out his cigarette, looking like he’d done this twelve hundred times before. You started to think he wasn’t a caterer at all. 
“I’ve seen you before,” you thought aloud. Chaos erupted all around, guests rising from their chairs in a panic, and you just couldn’t put your finger on it. “Oh! You were at the pond!”
Sanji, that was his name. He dodged a punch from one of the quicker, bolder groomsmen, an easy smile on his face. He faced you with his hands shoved in his pockets. “That’s your priority, love?”
You flushed, whether from the tease or endearment, you didn’t know. “Well—”
“You!” your mother’s shrill voice cut the air. You turned just in time to catch her pouncing at you, her hand clawing for your arm. Her nails barely got close to scratching you when a hand branched out of her chest and drove her back by a vice around her neck. Somebody screamed as guests began a mad rush to escape the inevitable fight; everyone had the same guess—pirates.
You’d never been so happy, even with the disembodied hand issue.
Mr. Toleson rose to his feet, nursing his chest, his eyes aflame. He whirled on the groomsmen. “Don’t just stand there!”
Just like that they broke out of their daze. Not just the groomsmen; the constable shook himself out of his shock as several other burly men of the town rallied together.
You inched backward as dozens of eyes settled on you, heart quickening, when out of nowhere that ginger girl from before rushed up with a bow staff and gave several groomsmen severe head trauma. The green haired man drew out three swords. That other man from the pond jumped over a pew, a slingshot in hand. And a tall, graceful woman stared down your petrified mother. 
Only those willing to put up a fight were left, leaving only the rougher men of the town and the pirates--Luffy's pirates.
Sanji flung an attacker off his back and sent the guy flying your way, wiping the smile from your face as you yelped and dodged. You scurried off to the side, nearly tripping head over heels in your dress, having to hike up your skirts as you twirled in and out of the swiftly rising rabble.
Luffy’s marksman remained unscathed at his vantage point, lining up a shot and letting it fly. You gasped delightfully when the constable was nailed right in the forehead and hit the floor unconscious. You found a place flush against the wall, and you beamed at the destruction.
Pews turned to splinters under the power of the swordsman. Refreshments scattered across the floor as the ginger was thrown into a table and jumped back up again. Flowers fluttered around as the raven haired woman used some kind of magic to extend her reach. And Luffy—he laughed through it all. People jumped at him with fists and clubs, yet he threw them all off like it was nothing. Perhaps to him it was.
You stifled another smile behind your hands. The people of your town were absolutely demolished by these pirates. These glorious, heroic pirates you would be thanking for the rest of your life—
“You did this.” In an instant your wrists were captured by your ex-fiancee. “Witch. Where’d you get the money to pay them, huh?”
“Let go,” you bit back, jerking away only for his hold to tighten, prepared for your escape this time. 
He yanked you closer. “After everything I’ve done for your family—” 
You spat in his eyes and kneed his crotch, watching satisfied as he crumbled to the floor. “Family my ass.”
You darted into the chaos without another word. Men lay unconscious every few steps, their bloody and bruised faces staring up at you. You tripped over someone’s leg, growled sharply, and took hold of your skirts. One by one you ripped off the layers of tulle, leaving you in your knee-length bloomers, dress reduced to the lacy bodice and shreds of fabric at your hips. Finally you yanked your heels off, hopping on one foot and then the other. 
Right as you were about to drop your left shoe, the man of honor, some guy called Henry, made for you swiftly. Gasping, you gripped the toe of the heel and clubbed him over the head.
Someone grabbed your shoulder a second later. You shrieked and dropped to the ground, slipping out of the grip and rolling to the side. The swordsman appeared suddenly and cut the man down in one move. The body dropped beside you. You blinked, gasped, and let a delayed scream flee your lips. The swordsman reached to grab your wrist and hoisted you to your feet. “You okay?”
“Y-you killed him!” you cried.
“Relax,” he rolled his eyes. “I hit him with the hilt.”
Sure enough, the man only had a gash on his temple and some head trauma most likely. The swordsman looked you up and down briefly. “Watch out for the ero-cook lookin’ like that.”
You hardly cared if you looked indecent. “Where’s Luffy?”
He didn't get to answer—a laugh you quickly grew to recognize had you whipping around, eyes peeled. 
His profile shone in the evening light bleeding from the windows. He stood with his head thrown back and eyes tightly shut, a blinding smile on his face. Transfixed, you wondered, not for the last time, if he was more than human.
When his laughter died down Luffy held his fists close to his chest and looked around as if searching for another fight, his gaze finding you. Your heart skipped, but his smile dropped deathly fast. You didn’t have the chance to wonder before his fist zipped a hair's breadth away from your cheek. You hit the ground instantly, head ducked between your knees. You might have remained there forever, wondering just what possessed him, if you were stupid for trusting him, overwhelmed by something akin to heartbreak—when two sandaled feet entered your sight.
“Hey,” he said, giving you deja vu. “What’re you doin’ on the floor?”
Eyes wide, chest heaving, you sprang to your feet and got nose to nose with him. Luffy merely blinked at you. “What’s wrong with you!? First, you help me, then you try to hit me! Why—Don’t touch me!” 
He gripped your shoulders and spun you around in one fluid motion. All your sputtering got caught in your throat. Two feet away Mr. Toleson lay flat on his back with the worst bloody nose you’d ever seen. 
One. Two…
You couldn’t help it; you laughed. Ugly laughed. Louder and more all-consuming than you ever had before. You tried to choke on it, only making the sound sizzle into harsh snickers. 
Luffy felt like he was in a trance, watching you dazedly as he broke into his own fit of laughter.
“Gah!” Your mother bolted for the door, throwing a fretful glance over her shoulder. She paused, wove around a man limping for the exit, and dragged Mr. Toleson to his feet. Coughing, your would-be fiancée set his grim sights on Luffy. Your mother tugged him with her, more forceful now. “Come. She isn’t worth your life.”
Really, it shouldn’t have bothered you. She’d never done anything for you, yet—her words struck you oddly, fiercely. They were gone before you recovered. You glanced around at a loss as Luffy stood a strong pillar in your peripheral. Your eyes darted to meet him as the final pieces of your world crumbled to dust, and you found nothing but cool assurance; you sighed out a breath you’d been holding since you were ten. 
“Good riddance,” you choked. Luffy’s lips ticked up in a smile. The figures of his friends came into focus as they gathered around in the wreckage of the church. Emotion tingled in every corner of your body. “Thank you, all of you. I’m… forever in your debt.”
That wasn’t all you wished to express by far. You’d been thinking it the whole while, perhaps even from the first moment you learned he was a pirate. The request teetered precariously on the tip of your tongue when the caterer cut you off.
“No need, madam,” he said with a flourish of his wrist. “Always a pleasure to assist.”
His eyes took you in gratefully, and he was quick to wipe away the small bit of blood leaving his nose. You grinned, almost grimacing, and gave an awkward laugh. “Of course…” Luffy’s shoulder brushed your own, drawing your gaze to him. His bright eyes had you wanting to reach up and brush his messy hair out of his face. Somehow, you refrained. “Just what kind of pirates are you? I didn’t think your lot were in the business of wedding crashing.”
Luffy shrugged his shoulders, barely smiling as he replied, “I like you.”
You choked on nothing. “Well—that’s—indeed.”
The silence of the room, only some harsh breaths breaking it, had you questioning what came next. Your adrenaline crashed all at once as your eyes got heavy and your shoulders sagged all at once. You rubbed at your eyes and suppressed a yawn, shivering as a breeze drifted by. 
The ginger girl noticed the change at once, moving to your side despite her own exhaustion. “Let’s get you cleaned up. That can’t be comfortable.”
For some reason, you didn’t jerk away from her touch, so gentle and kind as she took your arm. “Yeah. Uhm, I can go to my servants’ quarters. They won’t say anything…”
The girl scoffed, catching your eye. “No way. You’re going to our ship.” She blanched a second later, backtracking. “If that’s okay with you.”
You watched for any sign of falsehood, and found none at all. You shook your head quickly. “No, that’s fine. Can we go now?”
The girl—Nami, you later learned—giggled and swiftly ushered you out of the wreckage and into the sun. You gave a soft laugh of your own, still very reserved yet filled with the tentativeness of someone realizing that everything would be okay. 
And Luffy watched you leave, his lips tugging upwards subconsciously. He stood solidly as each of his friends followed after you, till only Robin remained. She had her arms crossed, head tilted low and eyes scrutinizing. She took in Luffy’s stance, his twitchy fingers, his eyes transfixed on empty space. All usual features on her friend; it was his dopey grin that gave it all away.
“Captain,” Robin spoke. “Everything all right?”
“Yeah,” Luffy nodded. He didn’t even stutter, his reply instant. “Why?”
She nearly chuckled, holding back if only to humor him. She nudged his shoulder with her own to spur him into motion, and the pair walked slowly into the streets. 
“What do you know about your new friend?” she asked as they passed under a bakery sign squeaky as it swung with the wind. 
He paused. “She’s fancy… and unhappy.” Luffy kicked a pebble and watched it skip all the way to the end of the sloped path. “Very unhappy. She’ll be happier with us.”
Robin’s heart went tender as she looked away, hiding a smirk. “Have you told her that?”
Catching her eye, Luffy smiled. “She knows.”
They caught up enough to spy the others as Usopp and Nami had their arms around your shoulders, bickering absently whilst you snickered quietly between them. Robin nodded, for who was she to argue? Besides, maybe you did. The smile on your face may have betrayed just that.
જ ⁀ ➴
You still heard the boisterous laughter of your new friends even as you swept away from the galley, heart beating a little too fast to be comfortable. They were amazing, sure, but overwhelming at best. All you needed was a moment and you could return unnoticed to the good food and warm company. As soon as you got some air.
You instinctively reached to pick up a skirt as you rose the stairs to the deck, only to grab at air, look down, and grin at the sight of Nami’s brown trousers. 
The cool night breeze hit you like a wall the moment you stepped outside, shooting shivers down your spine. The saltiness of the sea clung to your skin and clumped in your hair, filling your nose with every deep breath of air. 
The deck felt odd against your bare feet, grating against your skin just enough to make you wary of splinters despite the apparent fine craftsmanship of the wood. You leaned into the ship rail and gazed down upon the rolling waters. A soft and steady kussshhh kussshhh greeted you, a gentle sea spray kissing your cheeks.
So far, the sea was far greater than you’d ever conceived. Freedom rippled in every gust of wind billowing in the sails; the waves sang songs of grandauer; the stars winked secrets you couldn’t hear but felt in the creak of your bones. The music of the world had finally included you in its symphony, and you would never go back. 
Never.
You heard him before you saw him, his bumbling, careless steps thumping against the deck. Luffy came up out of the belly of the ship, gazed around once, and settled his sights on you. You met eyes and simply existed; he smiled first; you returned a grin. Luffy approached with all the familiarity he shouldn’t have given you in such a short time. 
“You disappeared,” he said too loudly, threatening to break the perfect silence settled around you. 
“I did,” you whispered back. After pursing your lips, you turned back to the sea and waited, assuming he would take the hint. It took two seconds longer than you anticipated, but Luffy’s shoulder soon bumped against your own. 
When he spoke again, he was softer, “How do you feel?”
You sucked in a lunfull of cold air and laughed it out. “Free. I didn’t think I’d ever feel like that again.”
He nodded, because he wanted to say so many things but at the same time had no clue what to say at all. Luffy had never experienced this before, being at a loss for words; all evening he’d dwelled in this confusion that only grew every time you smiled and he lost his breath. What was so different about you that all his words felt terribly redundant? 
“Wow.” He turned his head quickly, blinking at you. You were already looking right at him. 
“Huh?”
You shook your head, shy smile dripping in tease. “You’re quiet. I didn’t take you as someone to just dwell like this.”
How many minutes had passed? Luffy wasn’t sure, but you looked content, so he didn’t really care. His eyes danced all over your face, puzzlement laid in his brow. You tilted your head and began to worry about the cloudy look on his face.
“Can I ask you something?” you said. Luffy gave a wordless nod, still looking so lost. You wanted to touch him, the realization setting in suddenly, hand itching to grip his arm. “Why did you help me? You didn’t have to.” Crossing your arms, you turned to watch the curling white foam ripple off the ship. “It certainly made things harder for you. They might tell the Navy, and I can imagine that’s plain hell.”
“They won’t catch us,” he scoffed, catching your eye. “And like I said, I like you.”
Your lips pursed before you let slip a chuckle, face far too warm for your liking. He probably didn’t know what he was saying. “Right. How could I forget. Is that all?”
“You’re… funny.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. Real funny. Odd. Makes me feel funny.” He said it with such nonchalance you wondered if he was joking, but the longer you stood and stared at your feet the more aware you were of his presence at your side. Finally, you lifted your head, finding him staring out to sea. He was one to talk about being odd. You hardly understood what was so odd about you; you felt fairly normal if you said so yourself—but that wasn’t exactly the point. 
Because Luffy was confused after all, just like he looked to be. The conflicted boy never strayed far from your shoulder, his hand brushing yours every few seconds. You hardly knew him—you didn’t know him—yet you couldn’t deny the overwhelming trust clawing its way into your heart. 
So, really, there wasn’t much more debate on whether you should ask. 
“Let me stay.” “Join my crew.”
The pair of you whipped your heads around suddenly. Eyes wide, you smiled, bursting into laughter with him, leaning into his side so he was half holding you up, your forehead hitting his chest—you missed hugs, sighing deeply as his warm hands brushed your skin and—
Cold rushed up your spine. You jerked away, an apology on your lips, when Luffy grunted and reeled you back in. You hit his chest with a thump as his arms wrapped around you three times. Eyes wide, body stiff, his deep breathing enveloped you till all you heard was in and out, in and out, that steady yet unsure rhythm. 
“I’d like to join your crew,” you said after a while. 
He focused on the space ahead of him, hold loosening bit by bit. “I’d like you to stay.”
You pulled away, and this time he let you. “Somehow, I feel I’m making a grave mistake.” He tilted his head all puppy-like, so you reveled in his puzzlement. Spinning out of his arms you faced the sea again. “You’ll most likely get me killed, Captain.”
Luffy blinked rapidly, heart thudding at the sly grin planted on your profile. Captain. He liked that. He always did, but now especially—when it came from you. 
“I won’t let that happen,” he said with such casualty. He stepped into your line of sight. “You do want to stay, don’t you?”
As if you had a choice, you mused. Even if you didn’t, it wouldn’t change a thing in your eyes. You smiled softly at him, a spark of wild excitement in your eyes. “More than anything.”
It started small, only a grin until it grew too wide to remain shut, his teeth shining seconds later. His eyes squinted, head thrown back, and you swore his laugh echoed to the very depths of the sea, encircling your whole being.
He fascinated you, filling you with this sense of freedom you’d never known before. Luffy was larger than life, and you stood there to witness his existence. Somehow, even then, you understood the gravity of who he would become. 
What an odd pair the two of you made. Him so unrestrained and you so proper—though surely the longer you spent with him the less true that became. Neither of you really cared either way; you found the other wildly fascinating, and in that moment on the deck as he blinded you with his smile, that’s really all that mattered.
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𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @100520s @kryscent
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bombsonboard · 11 months ago
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metal arm brrr
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Summary: Every problem needs a solution. Bucky just isn't the biggest fan of yours.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 1k
Tags: Fluff in the highest degree, old married couple, Swearing (It's Bucky, duh)
A/N: I just needed to give you guys something, it's been too long since i've written on here and you guys are the best :) I've barely checked this over so I apologize for any typos.
*****
“Can you stop moving, please?” 
Bucky Barnes half asleep is not someone you want to mess with. The first time you shuffled he had hardly made a sound, the second you were met with a low grumble (a warning you knew well) and the third strike, he was thirty seconds from kicking you out of the bed. 
When Bucky had finally learnt to sleep in a bed again, mostly thanks to you, he steadily became a big fan of his beauty sleep and god help anyone who ended up disturbing him. He had a lot to catch up on. Once, you had violently shaken him awake because his phone was ringing and when he heard Sam on the other line, you were deemed a ‘sleep thief’ for a week and a half after. Bucky Barnes was a bitch when it came to his sleep. 
You usually wouldn't have any complaints about being in his vice grip but it was January and the nights were still cold and having a boyfriend with a metal arm meant that you were held to him with an ice cold grip around your waist. When the Summer came, it was a life saver, your own personal refrigerator but you still had a good few months to go before you were hanging off his arm everyday. 
“Sorry.” You mumbled and tried to convince yourself you were comfortable without another word.
Nope, can’t do it. You shift again. 
“You’re kidding- what is it?” He pulls away from you and sits up on his elbow, glaring, he dares you. “Go on.”
With the most innocent doe eyes you could muster you slip your bottom lip between your teeth and debate the argument you could spark when your gaze slips to his vibranium arm in the semi darkness.
He doesn’t miss a thing, you’ve come to realize.
“I swear if you say-”
“-It’s cold! I’m cold! It’s just too much cold!” You burst, arms flailing in desperation. 
“It’s my arm! You said you wanted to sleep on my left, this is my left arm, nothing I can do. Okay?”
“There has to be something.” You search the room for solutions, briefly lingering on the sock drawer. 
“Oh yeah, sorry, let me just take it off.” Bucky grunts, dripping with sarcasm. 
“...If you could?”
“Seriously, fuck you.” 
Bucky falls back into his beloved pillow, eyes shut and wishing he has chosen a partner that let him sleep peacefully, then again, why would he want that when you exist?
“Look, either come to the other side or deal with it.” 
Silence finally reaches your bedroom and Bucky is deeply in dreamland while you lie awake, scheming away. 
In the early hours, you slip out of bed without a sound and make a beeline for the sock drawer, knowing you had some old pairs of slipper socks stuffed at the back. Scissors in hand, you snipped off the toes and smiled at the D.I.Y leg warmers. Oh, he was gonna be mad. 
With nearly medical precision, you held out the slumbering Bucky’s arm in front of you and one by one, slid the fluffy socks up the freezing metal until it was sufficiently covered. Thanking the universe, he was a pretty heavy sleeper, you shuffled back under the covers and happily wrapped the soft arm back around your waist. 
You slept like a lamb after that.
*****
When the morning came, you woke up before him like usual and briefly left him to his own devices as you made coffee, two mugs sitting on the counter beside each other. 
Through the wall, you faintly hear the rising of the soldier before heavy footsteps quickly storm in your direction.
“The fuck is this?”
You look up to see him in the doorway, and find yourself the subject of a stare that would send millions running. Not you. The multicolored socks lined up his arm kind of softened his hoped effect and you had to stifle your laughter. 
“A solution?” You shrug.
“No.” He points at you with his flesh arm accusingly “Nu-uh. This? This is not how we solve things.”
“Is it not? I’m really digging the rainbow on you.” The giggle you had tried to push down had spilled over.
“You’re a fucking menace.” 
The giggle now a full bodied laugh that had you clutching at your chest as you were overcome with the image of your big, scary, ‘world’s most deadly assassin’ boyfriend glaring daggers at you while donning the most fluffy and most colorful socks up his arm.
Bucky was fighting a grin with all his might, your laughter was like an ugly disease, incredibly contagious, hard to avoid, and annoying.
Something soft hits you in the face and you halt your hysterics as you peer at the slipper sock now at your feet. Lifting your gaze, Bucky is smiling smugly, and working a second sock off his arm. 
“Bucky!” You yelp and duck under the counter as the rainbow sock flies in slow motion over your head. 
You probably shouldn’t poke the bear but-
“Y’know, for the best shot the United States army had ever seen you sure do miss a lot.” You taunt from your hiding spot.
When there's no response, you make a break for the couch and get shot squarely in the forehead.
“Say that again.” He dares with narrowed eyes.
“Okay, truce. Truce!” You raise your hands in surrender. 
“Say sorry for last night.” The pink ball of fluff in his hands, a deadly fate, and you’re consigned to concede
“I apologize for last night.” You sigh, approaching him with caution “Now, it’s been ten whole minutes and you still haven’t subjected me to your obscene morning breath.”
He beckons you with his head and you happily plod over, throwing your arms around his neck. The kiss is sweet, and full of promised mornings to come.
It’s welcomed by you. Until you feel the coldest thing known to man, his left arm, writhing under your shirt and sending immediate shivers down your back. 
“Bucky!” You screech and his strong laughter descends on your morning with malice.
Desperately wiggling out of his hold, you escape to the bedroom and yell from your stronghold:
“That was an act of war James Buchanan Barnes!”
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gotham-daydreams · 1 year ago
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Not Tonight
[Platonic! Yandere! Neglectful Batfam × Gender Neutral! Sibling Reader]
[Warnings: Mentions of Neglect, Reader generally not having a good time.]
(Not proofread. Not too much Yandere shown. Mostly angst with Reader. Set up(?))
2nd chapter here. Chapter 3 Pt. 1, Pt. 2. [Series Masterlist]
๑۩۞۩๑————————————————————๑۩۞۩๑
How many times have you heard them say that? How many times have you tried to do something with them, to share your passion — or even just have some coffee with them, only to hear them say that phrase time and time again.
"Not tonight."
Well, what if you didn't ask them during the night? What if you asked them in the afternoon, or just when they were already up and about?
"Sorry! I can't right now, patrol reeeally kicked my ass last night. Besides, I have some other things that I have to get done, but maybe next time! For sure!"
Okay, right. That makes sense. Sometimes their line of work can be tough and draining, especially when someone is trying to run Gotham to the ground that night. So what if you just try to ask them when they aren't so busy? It may really limit the times you can ask... but you'd still try. Maybe it could also help if you asked for smaller things, like if they'd just like to spend a little time with you before going out again, or if you could just hang around them for a while? Nothing big, and anything was fine. Even if it was just sitting next to them, and having some small talk. Or maybe just the sitting part if talking was too much.
You'd take anything at all.
"I'm actually heading out right now, so I can't stick around. Go ask someone else."
"Can't you see that I already have enough compang with Titus here? Go bother Drake or something, I don't care."
All you could hear was snores past the door when you went to ask. So you moved onto someone else, hoping for a yes as your heart began to squeeze.
Someone had to agree eventually, right?
You begged the Gods as you traveled down the long halls. The chills of reality creeping up on you.
"Sorry, I'm going out to hang with some friends, but maybe next time!"
"..." She just looked at you before shaking her head, and taking her leave.
"I've got something to do at the moment, sorry, but hey, maybe you could ask your old man? Oh! Or maybe Alfred. That's a good idea."
Dick was out in Bludhaven, and you didn't want to bother Barbara considering how bisy she must've been the other night. So, you had no other choice. You asked, heart bleeding from how hard it squeezed.
"Not now."
Simple, to the point, and sharp.
Bruce's words were as cold as ever, and yet the echo in the cave only seemed to make the gap between you and him feel so much bigger. Even as you just nodded, eyes pointed to the floor. Taking your leave with a soft sigh that barely escaped you.
The elevator ride was longer than you remembered. The cold chill in the air grew freezing even as you stepped out, and now stood in one of the many halls in the Wayne Manor. Portraits and pictures decorated the walls, their painted and photographed eyes staring at you. Their gaze far from soft, but at least it was present. At least they, in that way, felt present.
You swore the only times they ever smiled at you that wasn't faked, or just for the sake of appearances was in those paintings and photos. Honestly, it was also probably the most times they've even looked at you too, and as sad as it is — you did say you'd take anything, right?
A 'no' or 'maybe' was part of that anything, technically. It's just not what you were hoping for.
Sighing again, you stared up at one of the portraits, eyes shinging under the lights as everything you refused to say made itself so clear for a moment. You didn't want much, and never asked for more than what you were given. You didn't think so anyway.
You always followed the rules, you did more than just excel in all your classes no matter how hard it was for you to understand certain things, and you even tried to get into things your family seemed to enjoy without pushing too hard.
You studied up on all the pets Damian had so that you could not only care for them properly, but maybe even take care of them with him some day. You played games and read reviews on games you saw Tim play just for a chance that maybe you'd get the opportunity to play with him. You picked up boxing and have even been practicing your aim with an airsoft gun, and have also been going to certain place when you could to practice using real guns and learn about them just so you'd maybe be able to have a conversation with Jason, and even connect with him in some way. You even read nearly all the books in the library just to have a sliver of hope for something, anything.
You learned sign language in three different languages and tried to find out what Cassandra was interested in, just to have some kind of interaction with her. Even writing on small note cards in serval other languages in hopes she'd give some kind of response, even if you forgot to put your initials and such more than several times. You participated in gymnastics in hopes of getting closer to Dick. You tried to find out what Barbra was into so you could also hold up a conversation with her if given the chance. You've tried to match Stephen's energy and do things she likes and have even taken up material arts as a means to maybe be a little closer with everyone!
Yet it never seems like enough.
Your schedule was so packed and filled with activities and extra lessons of all kinds, just so that you could feel like you had something in common with someone in this family. So that, when given the chance, you'd be able to form a connection with one of them and your efforts and sacrifices wouldn't be in vain. Though that still had yet to happen.
You weren't even a vigilante as you tried to persue your own passion and dreams, and yet that one single thing seemed to be keeping you away from everyone else. The one thing you were unwilling to do for them just seemed to make the gap between you and the rest of the family grow bigger. They're constant and continuous dismissals only seemed to further that point.
Just... what were you doing wrong? Was you not being a vigilante and constantly putting yourself at risk every night really putting that much of a dent in your relationships? Did your dreams really get in the way of that? Just because you didn't want to put yourself in danger? Just because you wanted to pursue music instead?
You took up art despite not being super interested in it before. You've been reading all of your life. Your stretched, ran, exercised, cooked, cleaned, organized, sang, wrote, danced, and even sculpted. You picked up almost any hobby someone could have under the sun, even if it began to feel like a chore and a job to you, just so that you could have something, anything in common with this family.
Though now you've gone through countless 'hobbies', and dropped many more since nothing seemed to be working, it... it still didn't feel like enough. Like you had to be doing something more despite having lost countless hours of sleep, just to go through the list of hobbies you had written down that you had left to try. You even took up some sports you were somewhat interested in, and yet nothing clicked.
Though is that really surprising when no one noticed how many times you snuck out for lessons and practice, or how long you were out? When you'd even forget to return to the Manor sometimes, and anyone still had yet to notice you were even gone in the first place?
... You couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped you. It was broken in every way, and yet empty all the same. Maybe you were finally taking after Bruce, but you wouldn't get your hopes up.
You looked up at the painting as if it'd give you all the answers, and yet dismiss you at the same time. The disappointment you felt was normal to you at this point, but the aching pain that came after was always the hardest part. Yet you still stared at the painted faces as if they were your real family, and the people close to them. Looked at the calculated and skilled brush strokes as if they'd give you what your family couldn't. What they refused to give you at every twist and turn, no matter how much you tried to accommodate to them. To do things for them. To just feel worthy enough to stand by their side. To be closer to them.
Though in the end, it is only that. A painting. A well crafted piece that, no matter how skilled the artist, could never truly capture how distant and vague they felt when you were the one standing to the side. No matter how much experience the painter had, they'd never be able to express and show how this poor excuse of a family felt to you, because they were only like that around you.
Maybe you'd feel special if it didn't make you feel like you were wasting your life living like this...
Eventually, you were able to tear you eyes away from the painting. The moon beginning to rise as you were sure the Manor was becoming more empty than it usually was, as more of its visitors and residents left.
The painting itself was nice even if it was one of many that didn't include you, with the number of photographs without you in them being much higher. Honestly, it used to be one of your favorites despite how bittersweet you feel about it now.
You still remember that day, but that would be implying that you forgot the others.
Regardless, you managed to pull yourself away from the spot you had been stuck in for the few moments you were trapped inside your own head. You tried to make yourself feel a little better, and give yourself some reassurance that maybe tomorrow would be different some how, and if not? Perhaps the day after, and the day after that.
Yet it all failed as you passed by more and more memories. Some were events you had participated in, sure, but the pictures made it look like you were never there in the first place. Heartwarming moments littered the halls, but you only recall seeing them from a distance — or being aware that the moment had even happened only when you saw the picture be put up.
It was like the very universe was trying to send you a sign with your constant failures and your family's persistence, intentional or not, to keep you at a distance. You didn't even know if it was appropriate to refer to them as your 'family', and maybe it wasn't considering things, but you still weren't sure.
You had been fighting for a chance to talk with any of them about anything at all for the longest time, because you wanted to be a part of this family. You wanted to spend time with them and really give this 'new life' of yours a chance, but now that 'new' part of this life had worn off. It was hard and honestly more draining than it was rewarding at this point, but you still wanted to give it a try.
Sure, it had been years at this point and now you were just about to go into college, and when you had first arrived here you weren't even middle school, yet little to no progress had been made — you never gave up. You haven't given up. So maybe you could try for a little longer? Just... a little bit, not too much this time, and figure something out?
You almost felt a little sense of hope return to you, no matter how redundant and helpless this situation felt and seemed. Yet it all came crumbling down again when you passed by one of the rooms, and saw something taped to the door.
It was a flier for your performance. One that would be happening soon.
Since your siblings began to pay less and less attention to you as time went on, with your conversations with them growing even shorter, you opted to just tape fliers of your upcoming performances on their doors. Though only the performances you'd thought they'd enjoy, and just hoped that they would show up, if they wanted to, when you stepped onto that stage and approached the instrument you'd be playing for the evening.
You tried texting and other forms of communication at first, but those quickly stopped working and so you just opted for this, and of course it was just as effective as the others.
Alfred was really the only one who listened to your music when you performed, and you only knew that because you caught him playing one of the live performances you had done on the television one day. He not only going out of his way to record the performance, but also trying to find the channel it was broadcasted on.
Ever since you've tried to give him the correct channel number when you do live performances, but that still didn't feel like enough. You loved and appreciated Alfred from the depths of your heart and soul, but what would it take for one of your siblings or close family friends to notice you like that? What would it take for your supposed father to even care to listen to your music? To watch a performance? To not turn you away?
It was only in that moment did a new emotion fuel you. Crawling it's way up your spine as you carefully took the flier in your hands, looking it over before ripping it off the door.
This. This one small thing was all you wanted from them. Over everything else, you just wanted to see one of their faces, one time when you looked out to the crowd when you performed — but every single time, all you saw were strangers.
Every charity event, every gala, every party- that's all you were surrounded by, strangers. Even when you caught small glimpses of them, they were always doing something else, and completely off in a totally different world than your own. That distance along creating a large void-like gap between you and them, and yet it only ever continued to grow. Even when they stood next to you, it was like you couldn't be further apart.
The reality of everything was crushing. Near deadly as you could feel your chest and lungs tighten, with your fingers digging into the paper enough to tear it apart, and reaching your palms as they formed crescent moons, soon drawing blood. Yet nothing could compare to the weight of your heart, and how heavy it felt to carry in your chest.
As you finally moved on from the door, your mind raced. Memories and flashbacks filling your head as every word and notion flashed before your eyes. Barely even paying attention to where you were going, but not caring enough to pay attention.
Every dismissal and excuse thrown your way. Every head shake and blank look. Every confused look, and realization that you were standing there the entire time. Every birthday that passed with the same wish never being granted. Every celebration spent on your own. Every message left on read. Every note ignored. Every time you were forgotten. Every time you were left behind. Every time you brought yourself home, and every time they never noticed. Every night wasted, trying to come up with different things to do only for all of them to turn out fruitless. Everyday that 'maybe' never cones true. Every time you looked out to that sea of strangers, hoping to see someone you recognized, only to find none. Every hour you wasted trying to do something for them while they never once thought of you.
Maybe you'd cry if you could. Then again, maybe not.
You already had spent too many tears over failures you recovered and grew from, and hardships you faced and fought. You've already cried just a little too much during those night you just couldn't handle being so alone, in such a big place anymore. Besides, you've cried enough over people who've never once thought of you. Who never once tried to make time to even see one of your performances, or even allow you to spend a few minutes in their space.
You've given them enough, you think. Especially since after you spent years trying to just make it two thirds of the way — they couldn't even reach that one third of the gap you couldn't. They didn't even try, at least not anymore, and after you had tried to make it easy. Yet, you only hurt yourself in the end.
They never cared about you, and maybe they did once upon a time, but good does that do now when you're trying to go out of your way to make things convenient and easier for them, only for them to skip out on you anyway. No text, no call, no message, no indication, nothing. Just pure silence.
Maybe you were asking for too much, but was it really so bad to want to be loved? And by the people who are supposed to be your family no less?
Hah, who are you kidding at this point. You've just been living in a house full of strangers, and you're the only one who hasn't seen it yet. They've already long since cast you out, and it's only now have you come to truly realize it.
Especially now, as you stand in front of the foot of the door to the music room. Staring at the knob as if it'll turn itself.
You weren't surprised, honestly. Playing music had quickly become an amazing outlet for you, and you had always come here to seek out what little your family couldn't give you; comfort. So it was no wonder that as you collapsed mentally, you had subconsciously brought yourself here.
And yet, only one thought entered your head in that moment.
'They don't deserve to hear my music.'
Perhaps it was now that you decided they had lost the privilege to do so. After all, ever since you had started having performances, even ones in front of wealthy crowds, your 'family' had seemingly been avoiding them like the plague. Never daring to even attend one, for whatever reason, and sure you could understand why they didn't attend the ones you performed at night — but they couldn't use that excuse anymore. You have strictly been playing during the after noon, and at sunset at a push, for over three years now. You've been playing in front of crowds and releasing music for four.
So, you turned away, walking off to your room as your thoughts still stormed. Anger fueling you as you barely remembered storming into your room, collecting any valuables and belongings you had and stuffing them into a bag or two. Not caring about clothes, and only what you deemed important and meaningful to yourself as you just grabbed and shoved everything into a bag if you could.
You could clearly tell now that you obviously weren't wanted, and that no one here even wanted to do the smallest things with you. That even asking to just spend a few minutes with them was too much. So you were doing the only sensible thing, and getting the hell out of here. Moving so quickly that your breathing became uneven, but you didn't stop until you had packed everything you needed, or was important to you in some way.
You only really had a second thought about all this when you were at your window, just about ready to jump out until you paused for a second.
Looking back at the door to your room, you couldn't help but hesitate. There was only ever one person in this entire Manor who treated you like family, and actually put in effort to not only be with you, but to indulge themself in your passion. That met you at the half way mark, and even went a little over sometimes. Since even if everyone else had ignored you — Alfed was there, even if despite all of his efforts you still couldn’t handle this, and maybe that was also your own fault in some way.
You still didn't want to stay, you couldn't anymore, but shouldn't you at least say goodbye? Maybe? After everything... at least he tried.
...
You settled for second best.
Quickly, you grabbed a flashcard and wrote down something before pocketing it and moving back to the window. You may not have any equipment for this kind of thing, but you still managed to scale and work your way around the wall, and managed to reach the window to Alfred's room.
You took a little peak inside, and when you saw that he wasn't there, you opened up the window just a bit, place the small note on the windowsill, and closed it. Then, you skillfully and carefully made your way down, and snuck off to Gotham City. Making your way to a friend's place as you crashed there for the night.
Never once did you look back.
Nor did you ever feel inclined to.
------
Later that night, when Alfred read the note, all it said was:
I'm sorry, Alfed. - Y/n
Just with that alone, it was like he understood everything despite the little that was said. All he could wish you was luck, and that you'd be safe wherever you went.
Suddenly, just like that. The nights where melodies would lull the residence of the Manor to sleep, and bring a temporary, mellow peace to all who heard such a tune, were long gone...
Guess they'll just have to find it, and bring it back.
--------
Kind of rushed at the end there, hope it isn't too bad for a first post. There's probably a lot of mistakes, so apologies for that.
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httpwintersoldier · 3 days ago
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『 sweet little thing p.1 | b. barnes x reader 』
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pairing: bucky barnes x afab!reader words: it's real long okay, it even has parts summary: what happens when the guy you have a crush on happens to have a dad, who is older, hotter and rougher? 『 part 2 』
fluff ; angst ; smut
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When you saw Andy he was simply... phenomenal. His eyes were big and blue, and the way their corners creased when he smiled was simply too much to bear.
You made it a point to become close to him - you swore up and down that your classmate would fall in love with you if he spent just enough time around you.
So you pretended to be dumb, and, because Andy was one of the top students in the university, it was only logical to ask him for help and form a study group.
It was all going well and dandy - you two hung out together nearly every day, studied and partied, and eventually went from colleagues, to friends, to very close friends.
Your plan was working perfectly... until one day. Until that one awful, magical day in which he invited you to study at his house.
Your whole body was trembling and the butterflies in your stomach wouldn't sit still as you drove to Andy's place, but the smile plastered on your face would let anyone know that, despite the nervousness, you were thrilled.
You took a deep breath and opened the car door, shutting it behind you before skipping over to the house's front porch and ringing the doorbell.
Silence. Nothing. Not a "I'm coming", not a "one second!", not even a single footstep. You checked your phone to make sure you were on the right address and that you had gotten the date correct before ringing the doorbell again, while anxiously biting your lip.
Suddenly, you heard heavy footsteps coming from the inside, and the white wooden door swung open.
"Who the f- oh, who are you?" The man's voice was rigid at first, but it softened and quieted as his eyes landed on your figure, in a little skirt and books tucked against your chest.
Your eyes widened in surprise. That man couldn't be anyone other than Andy's dad. His eyes were just as blue, and his voice was just the right amount of soft and rough as well. But there was something about him... Something that made your heart pound out of your chest. Maybe it was the short beard, the sweat dripping down his forehead, or the way his shirt hugged his biceps, but you were feeling something just about everywhere.
Andy was good looking guy but that... that was a gorgeous man.
"S-sorry sir, I'm Y/N. I'm Andy's friend he uh- we were supposed to study today."
"Were you now?" He grabbed the rag that was tucked away on the waist of his jeans and wiped his forehead "I'm sorry darlin' but the little shit hasn't come back yet, feel free to come in and wait for him though." The man said, stepping away from the door and giving you space to walk inside.
His tone wasn't rigid, but there was definitely an aura around him that demanded respect and that imposed authority. The nickname sent a shiver down your spine, but you smiled nevertheless.
"I wouldn't want to impose, I can come back later, Sir!" You shyly replied, as it was clear that the man was working and he had no idea he was about to receive visitors.
"Aren't you a sweet little thing, I wish all of Andy's friends were like you. It's no trouble, really. It's the least I can do for you in this situation." He said with a chuckle.
You smiled and walked into the house and right past the man, hoping he missed the blush that crept up on your face and the nervousness that made your legs shake.
"Thank you so much, Mr. Barnes!"
The man nodded in response and pointed you to the living room before disappearing somewhere in the house.
Minutes passed by and the clock on the wall ticked as you were left by yourself for who knows how long. You had plenty of time to look around, although there was not much to look at - the house was barely decorated, only a few framed pictures here and there, everything else was the strictly necessary furniture. The living room was but a couch, a reclining chair, a nice plasma TV and a coffee table with circular stains (from the lack of coasters, no doubt). Andy had once mentioned that his parents were no longer together, and that was obvious from the looks of the house - it was clearly a man-cave.
An hour had passed by when Andy's dad emerged from the back of the house once more, his forehead shining with sweat as he wiped his greasy hands on a rag.
He lifted his head and the man's eyebrows furrowed as his eyes met yours.
"Where is Andy?" He simply asked, in a monotone voice.
You swallowed thickly, almost nervously, as if you had done something wrong.
"I... I'm not sure, Sir. He hasn't answered my texts."
The male sighed and his features softened - you couldn't tell if he was annoyed that a stranger was still in his house or if he was irritated that his son had invited someone over and left them alone.
He opened his mouth to say something else but, as if on cue, Andy burst in the door.
"Hey dad there's a car in the- oh hey Y/N, what are you doing here?" The boy asked when his eyes landed on your figure sitting on the couch.
"We had agreed to study today." You said, holding up the books you had brought with yourself.
"No, we had agreed to study on Tuesday."
His dad walked over to him and smacked him on the head - it wasn't hard enough to hurt, but it was rough enough for Andy to understand he was being reprimanded.
"Which is today, dipshit. And where's your phone?"
Andy's eyes widened and he facepalmed.
"Aw man, is it!? I'm so sorry, Y/N!" Andy knelt in front of you, staring at you with those steel blue eyes "I will make it up to you, I promise."
But suddenly, those turquoise orbs that you came to love so much, did not have the same effect on you, as you had somehow found a more beautiful pair to stare into.
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You had spent the week getting flashbacks of the small exchanges you had had with Andy's dad - the way his muscles flexed at every little movement, the way his hair fell over his face ever so slightly, and his piercing blue eyes, that gave such a rugged man an almost angelic look.
You felt guilty for the amount of thoughts you had about the man, especially when you were constantly hanging around Andy, but you couldn't help the effect he had on you, it was like poison slowly taking over your body.
"Why don't you come over for dinner, Y/N? I'm cooking tonight and I still owe you an apology for the other day." Andy invited, as you walked to your class.
You bit your lip - free homecooked food was not something you wanted to decline, but you wondered if stepping back into that house was wise, as more interactions with "Mr. Barnes" would bring your infatuation to a new level, you were sure.
"Come on! If you decline free food it means you were never really angry at me."
You rolled your eyes and eventually agreed, convincing yourself that it was nothing but a stupid schoolgirl crush that would eventually go away.
You were nervous throughout the rest of the day, for no reason at all. You didn't even know if Mr. Barnes would be home, you didn't even know if you were going to interact with him, but for some reason that beautiful gaze of his was burned into your mind.
Andy didn't find your silence too weird, as he just thought you were still angry at him - and he hoped that that night's dinner would bring your friendship back to normal.
After classes were done, you stopped by your place so you could shower and change clothes after a whole day of sweating. You stood in front of your closet, towel wrapped around your body as you wondered what you should wear, your eyes landed on a miniskirt. Usually you'd wear something sexy to catch the eyes of a certain boy, but this time you knew you'd be wearing it to catch someone else's attention. It felt wrong, it made you feel somewhat guilty, for some reason, and yet you still picked up the skirt and put it on.
Andy must've been busy with the cooking, because when you rang the doorbell it was Mr. Barnes who opened it for you. It hard to contain the smile (and the attraction you felt for him) as his eyes traveled down your body and landed on the little skirt you wore.
This time he wasn't as sweaty and dirty (to your slight displeasure), he wore a dark pair of jeans and a light shirt, with its sleeves rolled up until his elbow.
"Hello, Sir." You greeted politely.
The corner of his mouth twitched upwards and he stepped away from the door, granting you passage.
"Hello, darlin'. You can just call me James." He said as you entered the house.
You can just call him James. You didn't know how to feel about that, there was a certain appeal in calling him "Sir", as if you were recognizing that he was somehow superior to you, more worthy of respect and authority.
"Of course S- James." You said, nonetheless, correcting yourself immediately.
"Andy's right down there in the kitchen." James said with a smirk.
You thanked him and followed the direction in which he had pointed to, and you found Andy, and a mess of onion and potato peels around him, as well as chunky and uneven cut carrots and a poorly de-boned chicken.
As you watched the boy struggle, you felt a presence behind you - James Barnes. You looked up at him, to find him staring at his son with a mix of confusion and disgust on his face.
"Hey, buddy, the chicken is already dead." He mocked.
Andy looked over his shoulder to find the two of you staring at him, and he looked... stressed, to say the least. It was clear that he didn't know how to cook whatever he was trying to cook, that the only reason why he asked you over was to impress you, and he had failed.
His dad laughed and walked over to him, patting his shoulder.
"Go wash up kid, I can finish up."
Andy looked like he had just seen his guardian angel, he thanked his dad and glanced at you.
"I'll be right back just- I'm going to take a shower." The boy ran past you and you couldn't help but giggle at the disheveled state of the ever-composed Andy Barnes.
However, when he left, you were painfully aware that you were once more left alone with the man you had been picturing in your mind the whole week.
"Do you need help, James?" The name rolled off your tongue with such ease, it felt natural, and for some reason it aroused you, as if calling him by his name expressed some sort of closeness.
The man glanced at you, and then at the counter - you could see the conflict in his eyes.
"You're a guest, don't worry about it."
You had been invited by his son, and the last thing he wanted was to have someone invited over to do housework, but you couldn't stand back and relax while he looked so overwhelmed. So, you rolled up your sleeves and began pooling together all of the peels and unusable parts that were laying on the counter.
"It's no problem, really." You told him with a smile as you carried the stuff you had collected to the trash.
Unbeknownst to you, the male's eyes fell to your legs as you walked away, and he muttered a small "fuck" under his breath as you bent over the trash. Your skirt rode up dangerously, and he had to force his gaze away from your figure. Obviously your outfit hadn't gone unnoticed by the man...
There wasn't much of an exchange between the two of you before Andy came down the stairs running, hair still slightly damp. The man focused on finishing dinner and you set the table, to pass time and fill in the awkwardness.
"Sorry! Sorry for leaving you with him again." The boy said as he came into the room.
"I will ground you." The man retorted, playfully.
You giggled at the joke and glanced at how mesmerizing Mr. Barnes looked, even from the back.
"Sorry Sarge!" Andy said and you cocked your head to the side.
James turned around to put the food on the table, and Andy took it as an opportunity to hook his finger around the chain around his neck, bringing the dog tag that was hidden under his shirt forward - you didn't miss the way it flashed some of the male's naked chest.
"He was an army brat and then joined the army and became a Sergeant. I wanted to join too but dad didn't let me." Andy explained, as you all began taking your seats around the table.
A soldier... That would explain the brooding and the serious expression, and it would further explain the way his presence alone demanded respect and exuded authority. It somehow made him even more desirable, if that was even possible.
"What would you even do there, Andy? You couldn't chop a carrot, never mind shoot a gun." You joked.
Andy's face grew red with embarrassment and his dad left out a hearty laugh.
You couldn't stop the smile from spreading on your face, for some reason you felt proud for making the male laugh. Andy protested your joke, but you didn't listen, as your eyes were glued to the dog tag, trying to read it.
"James B. Barnes..." You said to yourself, as you thought about what the "B" stood for.
"Bucky."
You eyes snapped up and you met the male's gaze, it was piercing and there was a mixture of emotions to them, they were curious and had a glint of playfulness, like a big dog staring at the newly arrived kitten.
"S-sorry?" You asked, not gathering what he meant.
"The 'B', it stands for Buchanan, or Bucky for short."
You blushed deeply, and you could feel the heat on your face as apparently you had said his name quite loud.
The glances you exchanged throughout the dinner were brief, and both of you wondered if there was something more to them, but, due to the fact that he was you dad's friend, the two of you just dismissed it as fragments of their imagination.
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The dinner had been disastrous. Well, it had gone wonderfully, which was terrible, because your head was filled with constant images of your supposed crush's father.
Your head was spinning constantly, and your (romantic) interest on Andy had been reduced to basically nothing. You couldn't stop thinking of his eyes, his smile, his gaze, his muscles, his... everything. And the thoughts only got dirtier and dirtier as the clock ticked, each hour making your mind delve deeper into your perverted fantasies.
You refused to touch yourself to image of your close friend's father, it was wrong, but one day the images in your mind seemed too real, you were so desperate you could swear you almost felt his rough hand softly exploring your inner thighs, travelling upwards and upwards. You flipped the covers off of yourself and put on a pair of shorts as you headed out for some air.
You walked with no destination, but you remembered there was a convenience store nearby, and you decided to stop by - maybe a late night snack and a late night walk would make you sleepy enough to fall right asleep once you headed back, but oh how wrong you were.
You greeted the cranky cashier as you walked in and made your way around the store, looking for something that would catch your eye, but, to your surprise, you found a different kind of snack hidden in the back.
Standing in front of the beer cases was none other than James Buchanan Barnes, with one hand on his hip as he brushed his hair back with the other hand. His jeans were riding terribly low, and when he lifted his arm to fix the rebel strands of hair, he revealed the waistband of his underwear, like the ribbon of a gift you desperately wanted to unwrap.
He lived nearby, and you wondered if you had crossed paths before and you just hadn't noticed him, or if it was the universe toying with you.
You realized you had been standing there, staring like a creep, and he had probably noticed someone was in the same aisle, so you decided turned on your heels and walked towards the cookie aisle.
You had spend a couple minutes biting your lip and admiring all of the different flavours, before deciding on the Oreos at the very top of the high shelf.
Just as you struggled, standing on your tippy toes and reaching for the item, someone came behind you and grabbed a pack. Their hand was on your waist, and their chest directly behind you. You turned around, coming face to face with none other than Bucky, the man you were trying to hard to avoid. Your heart was beating out of your chest, and you wanted nothing more than to grab the hand that had grabbed your waist and place it lower on your body.
You breathed in deeply, inhaling his manly musk, a faint smell of fresh laundry and deodorant, nothing too strong like most guys in your college whom you could smell a mile away.
"Hey darlin', what're you doing out here so late?" He asked as he took a step back and handed you your snack.
"Hi! I couldn't sleep, it's uh... it's too hot." It wasn't entirely false, but he didn't need to know where that heat resided, or who was the cause for it.
Your fingers brushed against his as you took the Oreos from him, and adrenaline shot through your body. Every single one of his touches left a fire in your body, one that he started and only he could put out.
"Yeah? Me either." There was a certain sadness in his tone, but he quickly changed the subject. "Are you here all by yourself?"
"Uh, yeah, I am."
Bucky's eyebrows furrowed together and he seemed to be deep in thought for a second. He had it in his nature to take care of everyone around him, and the situation simply didn't seem right in his mind.
"Let me drive you home, it's getting real late and it's dark out there."
You desperately wanted to take the offer, but you couldn't - not only did you not want to be a bother, you also didn't want your forget-about-Bucky walk to turn into a more-Bucky-content walk.
"Thank you, Mr. B- James, it's okay, really."
"Are you sure?" Bucky asked, feeling uneasy.
He had no authority over you, but it didn't feel correct to let a young woman walk alone in the middle of the night.
"Yeah, no worries James, thank you for the offer."
"Have yourself a good night then, darlin'." He said, with a small smile.
"You too, sir!"
You mentally cursed yourself for calling him "sir" again as you turned around and made your way to the cashier - old habits die hard.
As you left the store, you glanced back to steal another look at Bucky's ethereal appearance, and you wondered if you should have just given in and let him take you home.
"Hey there, wanna do something fun, princess?" A voice snapped you out of your fantasies, and, when you realized, three guys had surrounded you.
They weren't huge or muscled by any means, but they were tripled in number, so you felt a little uneasy in their presence.
"Come on baby, why don't we take you home, huh?" The tallest one of the trio asked, stepping forward.
"I'm- I'm good, thanks."
"Don't look so scared, we don't bite." He got closer to you, so that he could whisper "Not unless you want us to."
As you stood there, frozen in fear, the crew shared a collective laugh. The laughing stopped rather quickly, and their faces morphed from entertained and amused, to serious ones. You didn't understand what was happening, but as you took one step back, you bumped into someone's chest. You looked up to find none other than Bucky. His eyes were devoid of that twinkle and glisten that you fantasized about, they were dark and clouded by rage.
He said nothing before taking your arm and pulling you to stand behind him.
"I wanna do something fun. I think I know just how much fun the four of us can have." The male said, walking towards them until he was face to face with the guy that had whispered in your ear.
There were three guys versus just one Bucky, but their three scrawny figures stood no chance against a man like James Barnes.
"Ay, let's- let's bounce y'all." One of them said, in the back, pulling his friends back by the forearm.
"Yeah, I think it'd be best if you three 'bounced'." Bucky mocked, never letting go of the eye contact.
Once they were out of sight, the man turned around to face you, placing his hands on your arms.
"Are you okay? Darlin'?" One of his hands slid up your body as he grabbed your chin and tipped it upwards, so his worried eyes could look into your shocked, fearful ones.
"F-fuck..." You finally said, brushing your hair back in frustration.
You could finally breathe, and you felt like Bucky had just rescued you from the claws of a wolf.
"Thank you s- James. Thank you so much." You muttered, and Bucky breathed out in relief. "I shouldn't have-"
"Hey, none of that. You were living your life and what happened isn't your fault. Let's get you home, okay?" The man said, cutting you off and preventing you from potentially blaming what happened on any of your actions, which made you smile shyly and nod along to his question.
You followed Bucky to his truck. He offered you his hand so you could get on the seat as it was quite high, and his eyes shamelessly trailed down your body once more. The man had to turn his head to the side until you had climbed onto the seat.
Aside from giving him directions to your place, the trip was rather quiet.
"Are you okay?" Bucky asked, as he took one of your hands and placed his free hand on your hip while helping you out of his truck once you had arrived to your house.
"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks for... that, back there."
"No need to worry darlin'. You uh- text me, or call me, if you're ever in trouble. Andy told me your parents live away from the university, so hit me up if you ever need anything."
Andy had told him... You wondered if Bucky asked or if the son had simply volunteered that information. Nonetheless you took the card he extended you - it was a business card with Bucky's Garage written on it, and his phone number under it.
You blushed intensely and your mind became foggy for a second, as you acknowledged that the man had just handed you his number.
"Thank you. I will, James."
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After that encounter, you didn't see Bucky for over a week. The frequency with which he visited your mind, however, increased by the hour. It seemed like the saying "out of sight, out of mind" had no real meaning when it came to dirty thoughts involving James Barnes.
Nine days after the fact, Andy asked you and a couple other people over to watch basketball. It was a small group of four boys, including Andy, and two girls, you and a really sweet girl whom you had grown closer to, since you hung out together often because of the guys.
You knew Bucky would be there, which made choosing an outfit much more difficult. Should you dress normally!? Should you try to tease him further? Would you want to continue feeding this silly fantasy of yours?
Your eyes skimmed the closet, eventually landing on a cheerleading outfit - it was a small skirt and a long sleeved crop top, both with a colour scheme that matched your town's basketball team's. You had bought it for halloween once, for an undead cheerleader look, and you were seriously considering it.
Your mind raced with several contradicting thoughts, but you eventually picked it up and tried it on.
"Should I? Maybe it's too much... I mean, they will be wearing team jerseys, so it wouldn't be too farfetched to wear this. Or would it?" You were talking to yourself like a crazy person as you looked at your reflection in the mirror.
Eventually, you decided to text the other girl who was invited, in hopes of getting some honest feedback, before asking what she was thinking of taking as an outfit. You snapped two photos, one from the front, and one from your back, so she could properly see the length (or lack thereof) of your skirt.
You: is this too slutty to take to his house or does it look good? (2 attachments)
You put your phone down but it vibrated again as soon as it touched the mattress.
"I don't think the text was for me, darlin', but for the record, it looks good."
"minors do not interact" banner credit: @cafekitsune
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moonxknightx · 6 months ago
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♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ :STITCHES: :;
╰┈➤ ❝ [PAIRING] ❞ Logan Howlett x F!Reader
・❥・GENRE: Fluff (And angst)
 ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆FANDOM: X-Men
ੈ✩‧₊˚ WARNINGS: Grumpy Logan, Mentions of blood, mentions of stitches, Established Relationship, (i haven’t proof read yet!)
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥SUMMARY: When a very injured Logan stumbles into the X-Mansion, his healing ability failing him, it’s upon you to make sure you save his life.
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YOU WERE SITTING ON THE SOFA WHEN LOGAN STUMBLED INTO THE X MEN MANSION, CLUTCHING HIS LEFT SIDE AS BLOOD WAS SEEPING THROUGH HIS SUIT.
“Logan what the fuck? Are you okay?” You immediately asked when he entered the living room area, holding onto the wall for support.
“Yes i’m fine sweetheart, nothing to worry about, my healing is just taking a little longer i suppose.” Logan grunted while looking down at his side.
“This is the fifth time this is happening Logan…” You sighed as you stood up and went over to your man.
“I know…i don’t know what’s wrong with me, i should let Xavier and Jean have another look.” Logan muttered as he tried his best to look at you while maintaining his balance.
“Here let me help you.” You offered before wrapping one of Logan’s arms around your shoulders. “Darling i’m fine, i just need a moment.” Logan tried to stop you but to no avail.
“Lean onto me.” You said while helping Logan move towards the dinner table. “Baby…” Logan sighed but you immediately shut him up by saying “shh”
Logan rolled his eyes at your attitude, but secretly he was really loving the fact you were so worried about him.
“Here sit down.” You motioned to the table and helped Logan onto it. “Thank you.” Breathed Logan while trying his best not to think about all the blood that was coming out of his injury.
“You will have to take the suit off.” You said while moving closer so you could stand between Logan’s legs.
“Okay just give me a moment.” Logan muttered while trying to remove his suit with the hand that wasn’t covering his injury.
“Need help?” You offered while watching him struggle with removing the suit. Logan shook his head. “No i’m fine, it just takes some time.” He mumbled while trying his best to undo his suit.
It was very painful to see Logan struggle so much. Especially when nobody knew what was going on. Just out of nowhere, Logan’s healing ability disappeared. Or well it decreased. It took much longer for him to heal now and it kept getting worse each time he went on a mission.
“Here let me Lo.” You said softly before gently moving his hand away. Logan just looked at you and watched how you unzipped his suit. “I’m sorry if this hurts.” You said before carefully pulling the suit down his shoulders until it was on his lower hips.
“Oh fuck…” You breathed while staring at the awfully big wound on the left side of Logan’s stomach.
“Baby it just needs some more time than usual, it will heal.” Logan tried again. But you didn’t listen to him.
“Oh yeah? How much do you need this time? 5 hours? 10 hours? One day? Two days? A week?” You scoffed while carefully placing your hands on Logan’s stomach to inspect the injury on a closer level.
You weren’t mad at Logan. Even if it seemed so. You were just worried about him. What if his injury wouldn’t heal itself this time? What if his healing ability was actually really gone now? You couldn’t just wait for Logan’s body to start healing. Not if you and Logan weren’t sure when it would even begin.
“We have to get you downstairs to the lab before you bleed to death.” You said while taking a few steps back from his injury.
“Baby i swear it will heal, just give me more time and i am su-“
“You don’t have any more time! What if it doesn’t heal mhm? We can’t just wait and hope it will start healing when in fact you could just be bleeding to death!” You yelled, getting frustrated at Logan for being so nonchalant about the whole situation.
Logan just stared at you while you looked down at your feet. “I can’t lose you Logan. I can’t. So please just do as i say, so i can help you. Please.” You spoke quietly while still avoiding eye contact.
It was quiet for some time. That was until Wade entered the living room area with a bucket of popcorn.
“What the fuck is going on here?” He asked as he grabbed a hand full of popcorn and shoved it up his mouth.
You quickly turned around and sighed. “Logan’s healing ability isn’t working.”
Wade nodded and turned to look at Logan. “Wow buddy i’m so sorry to hear that…good luck!” He said before turning around again, wanting to leave the room.
“Fuck you.” Muttered Logan under his breath.
“Wade!” You yelled. You watched how Wade turned around once again to face you. “Yes sweets?” He asked.
“We have to get him downstairs so i can treat his injury. Will you help me?” You asked with the best smile you could put on.
“Mhm…” Wade thought while putting the popcorn bucket on the small coffee table.
“Just say yes or no man.” Logan sighed in annoyance. Wade began tapping his finger against his chin before finally nodding. “Fine. But i’m doing it for you sweets, not for the grumpy old man over there.” He told you while motioning for Logan.
“That’s fine.” Logan said while rolling his eyes.
You and Wade both went over to Logan and each stood on one of his sides. You both carefully put Logan’s arms around your shoulders and started your small journey to the basement.
“Man you are heavy!” Wade exclaimed while looking at Logan. “You better shut your mouth before i shut it for you.” Logan said through gritted teeth.
“Guys can we just…” You sighed while shaking your head in annoyance.
“Fine! Whatever she says, right?” Wade smirked while looking at Logan once again.
Logan decided to just ignore it for his, and also Wades sanity.
Soon the three of you arrived in the basement and helped Logan onto a bed, before Wade went back upstairs to get back to eating his popcorn.
Logan watched how you started pacing around the room, hands in your hair while trying to think how to take care of his injury.
“Sweetheart…” Logan sighed softly while trying his best to hide his pain. You looked up at Logan and he gave you a smile.
“Just do whatever feels best okay? I trust you. And i apologize for acting the way i did upstairs. I think i’m just afraid and angry about the fact that my healing ability is actually slowly vanishing.” Logan spoke quietly.
Your lips curled up into a small smile while nodding. “It’s okay Lo. I know it’s scary what is happening right now, and i am sure that somehow we will find a solution, but for now just let me take care of you.”
“Sounds good to me.” Logan half chuckled half winced as he clutched his side again.
“Okay let’s hurry up shall we?” You said while getting into action. You first went to the other side of the room to grab a cart with everything in it you needed for this mission.
You pushed it into Logan’s direction, opened the first drawer and pulled out an alcohol liquid bottle to clean the wound before doing anything else.
“I am just going to pour it on your wound because it’s a pretty big injury, okay?” You announced while looking at Logan for approval.
“Do you what you have to do bub.” Logan said while watching how you took the cap off the bottle.
“Okay here we go…” You said anxiously, pouring the liquid over Logan’s left side.
“Fuck!” Groaned Logan as he balled his fists and threw his head back in pain, trying his best not to scream or yell. “I am so sorry! I’m almost done.” You said immediately.
Five seconds passed and you were done with cleaning the wound. Now it was just a very big open cut which covered almost the whole left side of Logan’s torso.
“Well…I am pretty sure you still have some healing ability left in you, because otherwise you would be dead for sure.” You said, trying to light up the mood for both you and Logan.
Logan just stared at you for a moment until he started shaking his head, letting out a breathy laugh. “You sure know how to lighten the mood, baby.”
“I’m sorry.” You laughed while grabbing the stitch supplies. “Are you going to stitch me up?” Asked Logan while looking at your hands.
“I’ll have to yes.” You said with an apologetic look on your face. Logan just smiled and nodded. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”
You smiled upon hearing Logan’s words and inched closer to his cut.
“Are you ready?” You asked quietly.
“I was born ready.” Logan smirked, giving you the start sign.
~
“And i’m done!” You sighed happily as you finished up the last stitch. “You did great sweetheart. Thank you.” Logan smiled while cupping your cheek.
“You don’t have to thank me Logan.” You chuckled while starting to clean up the whole mess.
“Hey come here.” Logan said while gently grabbing hold of your arm. You looked up at him and couldn’t help but smile upon seeing him looking already much better now the wound is taken care of.
“I am really grateful for what you did honey. You always take such good care of me, even when i’m acting like a complete idiot.” Logan grinned.
“I’m used to it.” You shrugged with a slight smirk. “Oh i know you are.” Smiled Logan before pulling you into a careful hug, not wanting to cause anymore pain to his now stitched up wound.
“I love you sweetheart.” Whispered Logan into your ear before burying his head in the crook of your head. “I love you too Logan.” You breathed against his chest.
“Want to head upstairs? I really should change my clothes and maybe we can lay down for a bit after?” Logan offered while still having his face buried in your neck.
“Sounds like a plan.” You smiled before taking two steps back. You offered Logan your arm for support and together the two of you went upstairs, heading straight for Logan’s room to finally be able to relax after saving his life.
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landosjpg · 7 months ago
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risk | ln
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lando norris x teammate!reader
the one where you find your crush with someone else.
word count: ~1.0k
warnings: just a little bit of angst with happy ending
note: based on this request. i haven’t written anything longer than 500 words in so long so bare with me please, i hope this is good enough :) reader is a driver but it doesn’t play a big role on the story/is only mentioned like once or twice!
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you felt anxious, the nerves eating you alive as you lied in the darkness of your hotel room. you knew it was normal, in only a few hours you would be on your way to your first ever home race as a formula 1 driver.
but you also needed sleep, and as hard as you tried, nothing seemed to put your mind at ease, your mind just going back to making up every possible scenario of what would happen as you stepped in the car the very next day. the good, and also the bad.
after hours of tossing and turning around in bed, you desperately sighed: there was only one thing that could help you relax. someone.
cozied up in your pajamas you silently made your way out of your room and walked down the corridor to lando’s room. you knew he was, most likely, still awake despite of the late hour, well aware of his bad sleeping habits.
while most people thought your relationship was merely professional, during the previous months lando and you had grown extremely close to each other. too close, some would say.
countless nights, you had spent hours in each other’s rooms, trying your best not to wake up the whole building with your laughter. and most of those nights had finished with your limbs tangled with his under the thin blankets, whispered conversations and lingering touches lulling you to sleep.
you weren’t sure where your relationship really stood; every time you took a step forward, it seemed like you went back another three the next morning, the few moments of intimacy quickly forgotten as soon as the sun came up.
but he was the only person around who could make you forget about all your worries in just a few minutes, so you knocked on his door, hoping to not wake anyone up.
you heard his voice on the other side of the wall, but you couldn’t quite understand his words. only a few seconds later, the door swung open, a dishevelled lando standing before you.
“hey,” he greeted you in a whisper.
“hey,” you repeated, trying to catch on the undertone of his voice. normally, he would had pulled you inside already.
“i wasn’t expecting you to come.”
“i…” you started explaining, your words cut off by a figure walking out of the bathroom. your eyes widened and you took a step back. “oh my god, sorry. i didn’t know you were… i’m just gonna…” you said, slowly walking back.
you heard lando sigh and close the door as you made your way to your room again, your chest tightening at the realization. You had completely misunderstood your relationship with him, and now you felt stupid.
you crawled under your sheets with a heavy heart, and as much as you tried to think about something else, the image wouldn’t leave your mind.
the soft knock on your door only a few minutes later startled you and still with a blanket wrapped around your body, you made your way to open.
what you hadn’t expected was to find lando in front of you again, leaning against the doorframe.
“can I come in?” he straight up asked, his eyes analyzing your form.
“I thought you were…”
“she just left,” he cut you off, rising his eyebrow as if to ask you again to let him in. you stepped aside, inviting him inside and closing the door behind him.
“i’m really sorry, i didn’t mean to interrupt anything,” your voice was almost a whispered, embarrassed every time the scene played in your mind again.
“you didn’t,” he said, taking a sit on the edge of your bed. “you’ve been crying?”
no,” you quickly lied, shyly drying your cheeks with the back of your hand.
“your eyes are red,” he tried to ignore your gesture, but curiosity got the best of him.
“i’m just tired and can’t fall asleep,” you weren’t fully lying.
“mind if i..?” he mumbled, leaning back on the mattress.
He didn’t have to finish his sentence; you already knew what words followed: mind if i stay the night?
And normally, you would have giggled and told him that he didn’t even have to ask, but this time it felt different.
“i don’t think your girlfriend would like that,” you said before you could even think about your words.
an amused chuckled left his lips, “is that jealousy i hear?”
your cheeks heated up at his question, embarrassment growing inside you. and you couldn’t answer, too scared to mess up again.
“we didn’t do anything,” he explained, a softness in his eyes as he looked at you. “realized I would rather spend my time with someone else.”
your heart skipped a beat at the implications behind his words, silence falling hard between the two of you.
“really?” you finally managed to quietly ask.
he patted the spot next to him on the mattress, silently asking you to join him, “you’re that oblivious, huh?” he chuckled.
slowly, you made your way closer to him, his hands reaching for your body as soon as you were at arm’s length; his hands were hooked at your hips and he pulled you into him, standing in between his legs.
he looked up at you, a sly smile spread on his lips when your hands rested on his shoulders.
“you’re not just saying that, are you?” you questioned again, not completely sure of if he was just playing with you.
“don’t be silly,” he shook his head. “i’m actually crazy about you.”
your fingers found home in his curls, softly running a hand through his hair as your gaze met his, “what does this mean for us then?” your voice came out in a nervous whisper.
“i don’t know,” he answered in the same low tone. “but i’d really love to kiss you right now.”
your breath hitched at the statement, and you only could give him a slight nod of your head before he closed the gap between your lips, freeing you from all the worries that had been tormenting you for hours.
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honeyhotteoks · 5 months ago
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chapter fifteen: the taste of you
chapter summary: two weeks have passed and so many things about your life have changed.
warnings: almost entirely smut, but outside of that warnings for allusions to her attack, discussion of triggers, some ptsd symptoms, and there is a moment during sex that reader is triggered but they help her through. smut including: fingering, oral (f receiving), oral (m receiving), absolutely dripping wet messy sex, squirting, rough blowjob, cum on reader, cum in reader lol, knotting and all things a/b/o, ass play, double penetration, some amount of m/m that surprised them all, tears during sex but not dacryphilia, lots and lots of orgasms, basically she almost passes away from cumming pls enjoy
notes: more to come, thank you all for waiting for me 🩵
pairings: alpha!yunho x alpha!mingi x omega!reader
genre: smut, a/b/o/omegaverse, angst, fluff, romance, polyamory
word count: 17k (i’m back with a bang no pun intended)
previous chapter | next chapter | AO3
Someone has been stuck to your side all day. If it isn’t Yunho in the hall, it’s Mingi by the front door, San in the gym, Seonghwa getting you coffee, and Wooyoung walking you from room to room. After almost two weeks of reacclimating back to the studio and feeling more like yourself, your sudden shadows throw you for a loop.
They know something.
It isn’t until Mingi nearly walks into the bathroom with you that you spin on your heel and give him a soft push backwards to clear some space.
“What’s wrong?” He straightens up immediately.
“With me?” Your brows go high, “Nothing, I’m feeling great. I am wondering why you feel the need to come pee with me, though,”
He blushes red, “Shit,” he steps back, “sorry,”
“Is something going on?” Your eyes narrow, “I feel like I’ve been assigned a secret service detail but no one told me,”
He chews at the inside of his lip and then finally sighs, “Don’t freak out,”
“Not a great start,” You point out.
“You’re perfectly safe,” He adds, taking a step forward.
“Also not good,” Your stomach flips, “Mingi, what’s happening?”
“Minseok is getting out of the hospital today,” He says in a rush, “and I’m sure he won’t show up here, he’s not an idiot, but it would make me feel better if I knew you were with someone,”
“Oh,” You relax back against the wall.
“You’re not upset?”
“That you want to keep me safe?” You smile, “No, I’m not upset,”
“It just has us a little on edge,” He tells you honestly, “but we didn’t want to worry you with how much better you’ve been doing,”
“Who’s we?” You smile.
“Um,” He taps his phone, unlocking it and glancing down at a series of messages, “me and Yunho, obviously. Seonghwa, Woo, and San,”
You crane your neck to see the screen and laugh immediately at the name of the group chat, “y/n Protection Squad?”
“That was all Woo,” Mingi blushes again and tucks away his phone, “you know him,”
“Mhm,” You raise an eyebrow.
“We probably should have told you,” He concedes.
“Probably,” You nod, “but honestly it’s cute,”
“We just,” He trails off, “well you know,”
“Yeah,” You tap the edge of his phone, “if you’re reporting my coordinates to each other though… you could just text me. Actually, hold on,”
You pull out your own phone and scroll through the settings until you find the right thing, “There,” you smile up at him, “you and Yunho have my location now,”
His eyes widen, “Oh,”
“If you’re worried,” You shrug, “I trust you both not to abuse it.”
He flicks through his own settings, “Now you have mine,” he says, “I’m sure Yunho will do the same once we talk to him,”
“Thanks,” You smile and tuck your phone away.
He doesn’t move, he just stays steady next to you as if he’s waiting for you to say something more.
With a curt jerk of your head behind you, you say, “Okay, but I think I’m safe in the bathroom,”
“Right,” He takes a big step back, “sorry, babe,”
“Don’t be sorry,” You reach out and squeeze his arm, “I’m heading for the gym after this if you’re looking for me,”
“Cool,” He smiles, “thanks,”
“Mhm,” You start to back up through the swinging door into the bathroom, and as you do you watch him quickly tap out a text on his phone. No doubt a report that you’re heading to the gym and wondering who’s in there already.
In any other circumstance this level of hovering would bother you, but they more than mean well. Even though you know Minseok won’t pop up out of nowhere, he truly would have no rational reason to, the presence of your pack around you and the family you’ve built at the studio backing you up, it means everything for your level of comfort here.
The past two weeks have been a dream. Not every second of it, of course, especially with everything it took to reacclimate to work, but having a new home with them has been everything. In the span of a week Yunho and Mingi helped clear you out of your old apartment and break your lease, breakdown the bedrooms at their apartment to transition Mingi’s old room into a shared bedroom, and installed a pack bed that had more than enough room for you and both your alphas.
In the gym you find Wooyoung, lounging on one of the stationary bikes playing on his phone.
“Did Mingi send you?” You tease him immediately.
He grins, “Maybe,”
“You could have told me he was getting out today,” You nudge him as you pass by, sitting on your own bike.
“I know,” He pockets his phone and turns towards you on the seat, “but I didn’t want you to be anxious.”
“Fair,”
He drags a hand through his hair and sighs, “Hey, listen,” he says, “can you tell Yunho I’m not going to make it by this weekend?”
Your eyes narrow, “That depends,” you say, “are you two going to let me in on your weird little secret plans?”
Wooyoung smirks.
For the past week ever since Yunho had moved into the larger bedroom his old room was closed tight, and every few days Wooyoung was stopping by to see you but also to slip away with Yunho and work on something.
“It’s a nest, right?” You prod him, “what else would he be so secretive about?”
“Don’t ruin the surprise,” Wooyoung rolls his eyes, “let the man do a nice thing for his girlfriend,”
That word is new, along with other words that sum up what you are to each other. Partners, pack, lovers, mates, girlfriend, boyfriends, it’s all tangled up and happening fast but your stomach doesn’t do a nervous flip like it used to, you just feel warm.
“Traditionally, I think I’m supposed to make my own nest,” You point out.
“He knows that,” Wooyoung rolls his eyes, “that’s why he called me. Now my lips are sealed, stop asking.”
“Fine,”
He pulls at the front of his shirt to get some airflow and sighs, “So, you’ll tell him?”
“Oh,” You nod, remembering his original question, “sure, is something up this weekend?”
He looks at you and raises his brows, “I’m due for a heat,” he explains, “and I just started feeling achy this morning,”
“Got it,” You nod, “can I get you anything?”
He shakes his head, “No, I’m fine, I’ll probably take tomorrow off and then see where the weekend goes,”
“I’ll be around,” You let him know, “I can deliver ice cream and sexy magazines,”
“Shut up,” He smirks.
“Wait,” You smile, “what are you doing about Yeosang?”
His face falls entirely. They’ve been nearly inseparable since they met, even though you yourself still haven’t met him. But you’ve learned enough about him by proxy that you think he’s the right kind of guy for your best friend.
Wooyoung fiddles with the edge of his t-shirt, “I don’t know,”
“You’ll tell him?” You ask.
“Sure,” His voice sounds strained, “I mean… I don’t know how else to explain disappearing for three days.”
“Mhm,” You leave him the space to keep working it out.
“I really don’t think he should meet San and Hwa during,” He says, “I was planning on introducing them beforehand, but you know, that never really worked out.”
“Woo,” You get his attention, “I think you should have whoever you want for your heat, not worry about that,”
“I’m not even sure he’d want to be there,” Wooyoung blushes a bit, looking down, “we keep avoiding the topic.”
“You met like a month ago,” You point out, “not even,”
“So?”
“I’m saying it’s not weird it hasn’t come up,” You soothe him, and you can see clearly how close to his heat he is if his emotions are this on edge, “because the relationship is new.”
“Oh,” He deflates.
“You should get home,” You reach across, giving his shoulder a squeeze, “relax and figure out what you want to do, and then talk to them.”
“I know,” He sighs, “you’re right,”
Silence settles for a moment, and you consider starting up a cardio routine on the bike, but you actually want nothing less today, something’s been itching at you and taking your focus, and with the knowledge that Minseok is out it feels like now or never. With Wooyoung being down for the count next to you, any lingering motivation you would have had flies right out the window.
“Okay,” You stretch your arms and hop up, “if Coach Choi asks, I did forty-five minutes,”
Wooyoung snorts a laugh, “Fucking same,”
It’s late in the day, you should probably pack up your things anyways. The halls have quieted down, the gym relatively empty, and short of Mingi and Yunho finishing their work in the back reviewing next steps and mocking up the next schedule, you’re almost done for the day.
A flickering memory passes through you.
“Hey,” You nudge Wooyoung again, “can you please wait to report my whereabouts for like twenty minutes?”
“Why?” He counters.
You’re quiet, and you give him a look.
He knows where you’re going in a heartbeat, “You want me to come with you?”
You shake your head, “No, I want to do this alone.”
“Okay,” He murmurs, “but text me if you need,”
“I will,”
He watches you go, but you ignore the pressing eyes at your back. Now with twenty minutes of freedom, you check that the hall is empty and move quickly down the one direction you’ve hated walking these past two weeks.
You haven’t been into that particular studio room since it happened. The first day back to work was strange, full of nervous energy and people who didn’t quite want to meet your eyes without some form of uncomfortable pity, but day two was better. You made the right jokes, you smiled wide, and as long as you didn’t acknowledge that room, everything was fine. Now that two weeks have passed, it’s like this room doesn’t even exist and everyone’s adapted to that new reality without a peep.
So far you’ve passed the door eight times and each time you’ve done a damn good job of not even making eye contact with it, barely even thinking about it, not even a little bit.
But something about today is different, maybe that it’s late in the day again, the sunlight dropping in the sky and the halls quieter than they’ve been since you came back. Maybe it’s the new knowledge he’s walking around free. You don’t know exactly what pulls you right in front of the tightly shut studio door, but something deep in your gut does and you find yourself staring at the wood grain, palms slick and trembling against your thighs. It takes a few minutes to hype yourself up enough to push through the door, your stomach a churning mess of knots and images flickering in your mind, but at the count of three whispered on your lips you finally do it.
For some reason your mind expects a dark room, shattered glass, streaks of blood, and Minseok standing in the middle of it all waiting for you, that’s the last thought that rockets across your brain as you stumble over the threshold, but it’s so far and away the opposite that it takes the rug right out from under you.
The room is bright and completely normal, no glass or horror to be seen, and Choi San is seated right in the middle of the floor with one leg extended as he stretches out his muscles. It’s clear from his expression that you startled him a bit, all but falling into the room with flushed cheeks and nervous eyes, but he calms immediately.
He straightens his spine and meets your eyes in the mirror, “Hey,”
“Uh,” You pry your hand away from the door handle, “hey,”
“You alright?” His head tilts slightly as he looks at you.
“Sure,” You answer, a little too quickly, “sorry, I didn’t know you were in here,”
“Mhm,” He nods, and for a moment he’s quiet, waiting for you to say something.
“I’ll just,” You start, your foot sliding backwards so you can make a quick exit.
San just shakes his head, pushing himself up to his feet and turning towards you, “Come in,”
“Eh,” You’re ready to back out now, he just has to let you.
“y/n,” He beckons you forward with a jerk of his head, “you clearly are trying to get past this and I’m in your way, come in. I’ll let you do that,”
Your mouth is dry and it feels a little like being caught under a microscope with how accurate his assessment is.
San takes your silence as a yes and grabs his hoodie from the floor, smiling close-lipped at you as he moves to the side. Suddenly he’s no longer in the mirror in front of you, and memories start to flood back of the last time you were alone in this practice room, last time this door opened and someone appeared behind you in the reflection.
“San!” You spin on your heel, reaching to catch him before he’s truly gone.
“Hey,” He soothes you, gently passing a hand down your upper arm, “take a breath, you’re safe.”
“S-stay?” You manage it, your nails digging into his skin through the thick fabric of his sweatshirt, “For a second?”
He softens, “Let me get Yunho and Mingi,”
You shake your head, “Please don’t.”
His brows knit together, “Why not?”
You swallow tightly, feeling the entire scene playing out behind you, and you could swear that if you just turned around you could see it all. Your body on the floor, your alphas above you, the flooding, rushing water in your ears of subspace.
“y/n,” San prompts you again, “why don’t you want your alphas?”
San’s thumb strokes a tender line into your skin, waiting for your answer and you exhale slowly as you center yourself, “They worry for me,”
“Mhm,” He nods, but lets you continue.
“They wanted me to take more time off,” You explain, “but I’m ready to be here,”
He waits another beat, and then lays his other hand over your tense fingers, pulling them gently away from his sleeve, “Are you?”
You swallow tightly, “Work, yes,” you tell him, “this room is hard.”
“Let’s go then,” He murmurs, tugging at your hand just a little as if to draw you out of the room, down the hall, and right back into your alphas arms, but you shake your head.
“Can you just wait a minute?” You finally ask, “Maybe what I need is a Choi San pep talk,”
He sighs heavily, his hands dropping away from you. For a second you think he’s going to leave, and then he moves around you to the center of the studio to plop right back down onto the floor, “Come on then,”
The knots release at his tone and you follow him. Your body is still full of nerves, but you’ve been in this studio a hundred other times before and right now there’s no Minseok. You’re not alone, you’re with your friend.
San smiles up at you and waves you down to the floor, “Stretch,”
“I already stretched,” You tell him as you ease yourself down next to him.
“Stretch again,” He prompts you, “it’s good for you.”
You huff a laugh through closed lips, extending the lines of your body out to mirror him and he nods in approval. It’s quiet for a little while, your bodies shifting into familiar positions one after another, moving silently in sync. San watches you in the mirror, correcting your form without saying a word, until he finally breaks the silence.
“It’s just a room,” He says, “that’s all it is now.”
Tight pinpricks of tears play at the edges of your vision but you clear your throat and nod, “I know,”
“There’s not a trace of him left,” San adds.
The words don’t quite make sense and you finally look away from him in the mirror to turn towards him, “What?”
He drops his arms out of another stretch and turns to you, “He’s gone,” he clarifies, “all his things, his scent, recordings, all of it.”
“W-who,” You start, but you know, “when did you do that?”
“That night,” He answers you with ease, “I just want you to know you won’t run into a trace of him here, not in this room, not anywhere.”
Your throat tightens.
“I can’t do much,” He explains, resting a hand on your knee, “I’m not an omega like Woo, and we’re not…” he searches for the right words but settles with a sigh, “we’re not close like you and Seonghwa, but you’re my friend and we’ve been through things together. I did what I could do for you,”
“San,” You manage, eyes swimming now, “I can’t believe you did all that,”
He gives your knee a squeeze, “It’s nothing,” he assures, “you deserve to feel safe here. You are safe here.”
You launch yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders tightly, “Thank you,”
He holds you gingerly, one hand pressed between your shoulder blades as he nods.
It takes you a moment to get yourself under control, emotions swirling, but finally you drop back out of the hug and sweep your fingertips under your watery eyes to clear the potential tears.
“Mingi said,” He starts, catching himself with a heavy sigh before continuing, “he said you dropped the charges?”
“Yeah,”
“Why?” He asks genuinely.
For as perceptive as San is sometimes, he’s clueless about one thing. You sigh, not sure whether you should point out the glaring Seonghwa shaped blindspot in his peripherals, “Nothing would be worth any of you getting in trouble,”
“You’re worth that,” San points out calmly, “we all did what we did for a reason, we’re not inherently violent men, y/n.”
“I know that,” You nod.
“Mm,” He shakes his head and adjusts his position on the hardwood floor, “what’s done is done, but we were all willing to take some consequences for you. You’re our friend, our teammate. You’re Yunho and Mingi’s omega too, you’re… you’re a person and what Minseok did to you was wrong.”
“I know,” You repeat, finding his hand and squeezing it tightly, “but this is what I want. I want to go back to normal with my family and be happy, it’s been too long since we’ve had that,”
He nods, giving your hand a squeeze back. You can see that there’s a protest on his tongue, an argument to be made about what’s right and wrong, but he holds himself back.
In the quiet, honesty floods forward on your tongue, “I also wasn’t going to let Seonghwa ask for a single dime from his parents again,”
San’s fingers tighten involuntarily and his head snaps to the side, “What?”
“You heard me,”
San’s jaw pulses and relaxes, and then he separates your hands, dragging his own through his mess of black hair with a heavy sigh. You let him sit with it for a moment, nothing feeling quite right to say at the moment.
He nods finally and turns his head towards you just a little, “He told you?”
“Yes,”
“And,” San starts, but any words he might have fall short, he looks to you for something more.
“He hasn’t taken money from them in a while,” You start off, and San’s eyes widen just slightly, “I wasn’t going to let him get dragged back into their shit for me,”
San swallows.
“He misses you,” You offer, “and I know you miss him too.”
He looks away again, his hands clenching tight into fists and then releasing. “y/n,” He says, “you shouldn’t get involved,”
“I’m not,” You want to reach out and take his hand, but from his body language you know it’s a bad idea, “I haven’t said anything about this in months, but I’m as much a friend to you as I am to Seonghwa, so I would never lie to you.”
He considers your words for a long beat, and then he sighs, “Was forgiving them worth it?”
“Yunho and Mingi?”
He nods.
“Yes,” You tell him unequivocally, “but Sannie, they had to forgive me too.”
He shifts on the floor, this time wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug, and you let your arms fold around him in the embrace. You run one hand up and down his back, hoping it gives him some amount of comfort even if it's small.
“I do miss him,” He murmurs, “all the time,”
“I did too,” You confess, “even when I was angry,”
Footsteps behind you both send a chill through you, and you jump at the sound.
“It’s alright,” San soothes you, glancing into the mirror to see who’s come in, “it’s just your alphas,”
You break away from San’s hug to look, needing to see for yourself, but feel your body fully relax at the sight of them.
“Hey,” Yunho gives a close-lipped smile, concern clearly visible in his expression, “you guys okay?”
“Mhm,” San nods, pushing off the floor, “all good,”
Yunho and Mingi both look at you.
“San was helping me be back in here,” You tell them honestly, “but I’m okay,”
Mingi helps you to your feet with an outstretched hand and once you’re up, he cups your cheek to bring your eyes up to his, “You sure?”
You nod, quietly communicating with your eyes that if there’s anything to say it should be said privately.
“I should go,” San says, grabbing his bag off the floor by the mirrors.
Pulling back you catch him before he jogs out, “Thank you, seriously,”
He nods, “You too,”
He gives a courtesy nod to Yunho and Mingi, and jogs out faster than anyone can ask any follow ups.
They’re quiet for a moment, but even just a second or two of strange silence in this room after being triggered is enough to make your skin crawl, and you reach for Yunho’s hand.
“Jagi?” He checks.
“Can we get out of here, please?”
Mingi grabs your things, “Let’s go,”
Yunho presses a warm kiss to your forehead as he turns to leave, tucking you under his arm, “Come on,”
In the hall, Mingi finds your free hand and twines your fingers together, “Okay?”
“Mostly,” You sigh now that you’re on your way out of the building and wrapped up in their comforting scents, “I think we can start having practices in there again, but maybe not all of them right away?”
Mingi’s hand pulses in yours, but Yunho speaks first, “If you’re ready for that, I’ll shift Friday afternoons back in there.”
“I’m ready,” You nod.
The three of you make your way out into the streets of Seoul, and Yunho smiles, “That way if it’s tough, at least it’s Friday and you can just come home and relax with us.”
“Smart,” Mingi comments.
Your chest warms, “That’s perfect, I love you.”
Those words have been coming more easily ever since the kitchen, but you watch the tips of Yunho’s ears go pink still, “I love you too,”
“Is San alright?” Mingi asks as you approach the car, “he seemed off,”
“He’s got some things going on, but he will be.” It’s not your place, not with something like this.
He nods, and as Yunho unlocks the car he slides into the backseat and reaches out a hand for you, “Let’s go home.”
You slide into his side, wondering a little about what San will do next. Part of you wants to smack him and tell him he’s being an idiot and he needs to get over this and there’s no sense in talking yourself out of happiness, but you didn’t listen to advice like that when you were making all the same mistakes. You have to let him come to it in his own time.
As the car pulls away you catch a message on your phone from Wooyoung.
Heading home - you good?
You tap back a fast reply - All good. Focus on your heat, and CALL YEOSANG.
Thanks Mom. - He replies.
You let your phone drop, and Mingi’s hand lands warmly on your thigh to give you a squeeze. The thought of Wooyoung going into heat is making your mind flick back to your own. His hands, this car, the way Yunho glances at you in the rearview mirror. It’s all seared into your memory from a different time.
Not only that, and you’re a little ashamed to admit it, but there’s something to be said for the way your alphas flanked you all day just to keep you safe. After ten hours of it, you’re a little addicted to the way Yunho’s hand feels on the small of your back or the weight of Mingi’s hand on your thigh. If anyone at the studio was unaware of your relationship, it’s crystal clear now. They kept close to you as if Minseok was around any corner, and you suspect their intensity was as much for them as it was for you.
They stay stuck to you until you’re all safely back in the apartment, and then suddenly with the door locked tight behind you, they fall away. Mingi stretches and yawns, dropping his coat on a hook by the door before disappearing into the kitchen to start dinner. Yunho drops a perfunctory kiss on the crown of your head and mentions that he’s going to change, and then you’re standing in the foyer by yourself.
It’s been days since you’ve felt something stirring in you, possibly even weeks. You haven’t had room to feel that pull in your gut, heat flushing your cheeks, wetness pooling in your core. You’ve been too busy and too stressed to be horny, but suddenly you’re full of wanting.
You’re not in heat, nowhere even close, but with the sudden way you need to touch them it almost feels like that.
Your cunt is throbbing.
At the sound of a pan making contact with the stovetop in the kitchen, your legs start moving.
Mingi glances to the side when he sees you enter the kitchen and he smiles, “Hey, babe,”
“Can dinner wait?” You say in a rush.
His brows draw together and he turns towards you, “What’s up?”
“I just,” You can’t help but get distracted by his muscled arms, the dip of his chest where his tank top cuts low, “maybe we should order in,”
“I thought you wanted japchae?” He nods towards the pan to his side.
You all but pounce on him when you wrap your arms around his shoulders and tug his lips down to meet yours, pressing the length of your body against his and panting gently against his lips, “Mingi,”
He makes a muffled sigh, his hands closing on your waist as he holds you up, his body relaxing into yours naturally, “Babe?”
“Shh,” You shake your head a little, your hand skating down his chest and over his nipple.
He shudders and you feel him responding instantly, hardening against your belly. His mouth parts, tongue dipping past your lips to flick along yours, hot breath warm and welcome against your cheek.
Your body pulses with need, and the thick perfume of your scent fills the kitchen. Mingi’s hands tighten as he inhales the rich syrupy honey and he breaks the kiss, “Baby,” he softens and finds your eyes, “when’s your heat?”
“Not now,” You shake your head and brush him off, pulling at his t-shirt again in an attempt to drag his lips to yours, “it’s not for at least another month,”
“Then what’s gotten into you?” He asks, angling away to try and get to the bottom of your sudden neediness.
You know it technically isn’t a rejection, but god it still feels like one, and you push back two steps to clear some space, “Nothing,” you sigh, “sorry,”
“Whoa, whoa,” Mingi shakes his head and catches your hand in his, “wherever your brain just went, you’re wrong,”
“If you’re not in the mood,” Embarrassment feels thick around you and you can’t quite meet his eyes.
Mingi laughs sharply and steps close again, wrapping his arms around you and kissing your hair, “I have never not been in the mood with you, babe,”
You swallow tightly, nodding into his chest.
“But,” He adds, “it’s been a while since we’ve done anything, and ever since… you’ve been tense every time things get a little heated,”
“I’m sorry,” You breathe.
“Why in the world are you apologizing?” Mingi groans and separates from you so he can look at you eye to eye, his hands cupping your cheeks.
Your throat tightens. There’s a million reasons you feel sorry, but you sigh into him and lean against his warm palm, “I feel like I can’t get my shit together, it’s a lot for you both to put up with. I just want to want you, I want it to be like it was. I don’t want him here, I… I don’t know,”
Mingi listens patiently, but as you start to lose steam he nods, “Got it,” he steps forward and scoops you up into his arms, “this is more serious than I thought,”
“M-Mingi, what are you doing?” You grip his shoulders as he maneuvers you bridal style into his arms before carrying you out into the next room.
“Yunho!” Mingi calls as he heads for the hall, “Get out here,”
He doesn’t stop at Yunho’s bedroom door though, instead he pushes further down the hall to his bedroom - your bedroom. The room doesn’t quite feel like yours yet, but with the changes he’s made to the space to welcome you and Yunho into it, and the addition of the sprawling pack bed, you know it will start to feel more and more like yours everyday.
Behind Mingi you hear Yunho’s old bedroom door open and a questioning sound, but you barely hear it as Mingi stops at the foot of the bed and plops you straight down in the center of it.
“What,” You start to ask, but Mingi turns from you as Yunho follows into the room.
“What’s going on?” He asks, glancing between the two of you.
“Our girlfriend,” He smiles at the word, keeping his eyes on you while he addresses Yunho, “seems to be under the impression that she’s too much for us to put up with,”
You open your mouth to protest, but Yunho’s head snaps to yours, “What?”
“Mm,” Mingi nods, “ridiculous, I know, but she seems to think having a completely normal response to a traumatic incident is a lot for us to deal with,”
Your cheeks grow hot, “Mingi, stop,”
“I was gone for three minutes,” Yunho’s brow furrows, “what could have happened in three minutes?”
“y/n tried to jump my bones,” Mingi grins.
“You���re leaving out the part where you rejected me,” You can’t stop the words, the way he pushed you away in the kitchen still stinging.
He reaches for you then, his hand closing around your ankle to drag you down the bed so that you’re seated on the edge. You let out a small noise of surprise, but before you can work out what he’s doing, he’s dropped your foot and crouched in front of you, wide hands resting on your hips.
“Not a rejection,” He shakes his head, face far more serious, “a question.”
“What was the question?” Yunho asks, moving further into the room. He leaves you both space, but leans his hips against the dresser behind Mingi.
“I want to know what’s gotten into you,” Mingi reaches up, brushing your cheek gingerly and moving to stroke your hair, “because I want nothing more than to have you, pretty much every second of every day, but never at the expense of hurting you.”
“O-oh,” You soften a little at that.
Mingi lips turn up slightly in a smile, “You’re not too much,” he says quietly, “you’re not something for us to put up with, and you don’t have to apologize to us for anything. Yunho, back me up here,”
He takes a steady breath in, moving to crouch next to Mingi, “There’s nothing to put up with,” he says, “there’s just this thing that happened that we have to work through together and that’s not an obligation. You and what you need are not obligations.”
Warmth pricks at your eyes and your stomach flutters.
“I also think there’s something you may not realize,” Mingi adds, drawing your attention back to him, “but Yunho and I are also scared of hurting you, or triggering something by accident.”
Yunho nods immediately, one hand finding your thigh to give you a comforting squeeze.
“Yeah?”
“Everytime you freeze up or flinch I wonder if I should have touched you differently, or not touched you at all,” Yunho admits.
Mingi nods, “The minute I catch the scent of your fear, I’m right back in that room with you. What happened affected all of us, there’s going to be things we both do that you have to deal with too, does that make sense?”
The knot between your shoulders releases and you sigh, “Yeah,”
“Like today, if you hadn’t been with one of us all day I think I would have gone insane,” Mingi offers.
Yunho swallows tightly and nods, “Completely insane,”
You can’t help but smile, “You both seemed pretty relaxed,”
“That’s because I could see you,” Yunho smiles, stroking his hand up and down your thigh, “with Minseok out in the world again our protective instincts are in hyperdrive, sweetheart,”
“I’m,” You start to say, but Mingi cuts you off.
“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry,” He sighs.
“I wasn’t,” You nudge him with your knee, “I was going to say that I’m glad,”
“Oh,” He deflates.
“I feel bad that there’s a reason for you to feel so tense,” You clarify a little, “but to have you both there for me like that? All I felt was safe, all day.”
“Good,” Yunho brings your knuckles to his lips and presses a kiss there, “that’s good.”
“Honestly,” You laugh a little, “I liked it,”
“Well that was obvious,” Mingi squeezes your hip, “from the way you perfumed all over me,”
“Shut up,” You blush again.
“Mm,” Yunho teases a little, “protective alphas get you hot, hmm?”
“Oh my god,” You roll your eyes, but the flutter in your lower belly tends to agree with him.
Mingi smiles, but clears his throat and starts to sober, “Also, babe,” he squeezes you, “as much as I wanted to fuck you over the kitchen counter, I don’t think the first time we have sex outside of your heat should be so careless,”
Your face drops, realization stretching into you, “You’re right,”
“We need to take our time,” Mingi murmurs, “especially when we aren’t sure of your triggers yet,”
“Definitely,” Yunho nods.
“That makes sense,” You sigh.
“So,” Mingi’s hands slide off you then and he rocks back on his heels, clapping Yunho on the shoulder as he stands, “don’t apologize like that again,”
You feel a little like the world has tilted again.
“I can get dinner going,” Mingi starts to say, and you catch a confused flicker in Yunho’s eyes too as he turns from you to look up at his best friend.
“Mingi,” You try to interrupt him but he’s focused elsewhere, still rambling on about dinner, “Mingi!”
“What?” He turns around, eyes a little wide.
“Are you really not going to fuck me after all that?” You manage.
He shifts from foot to foot and where he had all the right things to say a moment ago, now he seems at a loss for words, “I didn’t think you’d want to after today, with the studio and we were just talking about him,”
Yunho waits, looking back up at you.
“I’m not that fragile,” You shake your head, “and he’s been in my head all day. He always is,”
Yunho’s jaw tightens and releases.
“And you’re right, we should take a little slow,” You tell them, “but I’m ready to figure that out together, I want you both so badly it’s driving me crazy,”
Mingi’s tongue darts out, wetting his lips as he takes a step back towards you both, “You’re sure?”
“Mingi,” You sigh, “baby, I’m sure, I’m ready to climb the walls I’m so horny, and I just really wanted one night where,”
Your words are cut off instantly, Yunho launching up into your space to catch you in a frenzied kiss, your legs parting open to let him crowd you more closely. You moan against his lips, hands finding their way into his hair, your hot center pressed up against his stomach as he dips you back into the sheets.
“Oh, thank god,” Your hips buck up into him as you moan, your head falling back to the mattress.
He takes a deep inhale, shivering in your arms, “You smelling this good outside of your heat should be illegal,”
“Yeah?” You pant, pulling him back to your mouth for another kiss.
“Mhm,” He hums against your lips, “it’s enough to send me into a rut, baby,”
You shudder, the thought of him rutting endlessly into you is enough to make you come, but when you go to pull him closer again you feel this time it’s not you who froze up, but Yunho.
“H-hey,” You lean back a little, smoothing the hair out of his face and catching his guilty expression, “what’s wrong?”
Mingi stands stock still to the side, his arms crossed and a serious expression across his face.
“I didn’t mean to say that,” He shakes his head, “I just meant you’re perfect, you’re… I didn’t mean that,”
It takes a second for your brain to catch up, but the penny drops when you think of Minseok. His excuses, his pleas, all the things he must have said to them to try to weasel out of his actions while you were trapped in headspace.
“Okay,” You shuffle back a little and sit up, reaching up for Mingi, “can you please come over here? You’re making me nervous standing around like a bodyguard,”
He drops his arms and nods, finding a place next to you on the bed, hands in his lap.
“Funny enough,” You catch Yunho’s eye, “the thought of you in a rut didn’t bother me at all,”
Yunho’s expression clears a bit, “It didn’t?”
You shake your head, “No,” you explain, “if it bothers you, then that’s different, but if you’re just worried about upsetting me,”
Yunho sighs heavily, dropping his forehead to your thighs as he sinks back to a kneeling seat on the floor, “We’re a mess,”
“Fully,” You laugh lightly, “we’re never going to christen this bed if we keep walking on eggshells,”
Mingi’s shoulders relax, and he reaches to press a hand to your upper back, fingers lightly curling around the sides of your neck. A pleasant, unexpected thrill passes through you at the sensation, and quietly you catalog it. Your neck has been such a sore, sensitive spot since the incident, but right now Mingi’s hand feels right.
“What do we do?” Yunho kisses your thighs and leans back up, “I don’t think either one of us is willing to hurt you,”
Mingi shakes his head.
“Accidentally triggering me isn’t willingness to hurt me,” You correct him softly, “and triggering me doesn’t necessarily mean I fall to pieces,”
He nods a little.
“Like what you did last week,” You point out to him, “when you kissed my neck,”
Gears start to turn in his brain, you watch it happening as his expression changes and you and Mingi both stay quiet while he works it out.
Finally, Yunho nods, “What triggers do we know about?”
“When you touch my neck,” The easiest, and most obvious.
You all think for a moment, and Mingi clears his throat, “You get jumpy when we’re both behind you,”
“That’s true,” You nod, “when I can’t see either of you,”
“Okay,” Yunho nods, “what else?”
You don’t want to think through the incident, not right now, but your mind skips over little moments the past few weeks and all the ways you’ve been on edge. Your eyes flick up to the space on the wall above the dresser, to the large reflection that stretches across the wall, “Mirrors,”
“Good,” Yunho dips forward and kisses you quickly on the forehead before standing, “give me a hand with this,” he says to Mingi.
Your other alpha responds immediately, and you watch as they lift the mirror up off the wall with ease and maneuver it out of the room without a second thought, silently communicating with each other the entire time.
Emotion fills your chest, warmth spreading through you when they cross back into the room looking accomplished. Yunho takes a seat next to you on the edge of the bed and offers you a hand, “Anything else?”
You slip your hand into his as Mingi does the same on your opposite side. You chew the inside of your lip, thinking once again through all the potential pockets of fear. Minseok’s voice echoes in your head - Submit. Heel. Don’t move an inch.
“Tone,” You offer quietly, “I can’t do that,”
It’s something some couples play with in bed, you’ve learned that in your research over the past couple of weeks into subspace and how it works. Some omegas want their alpha to use tone, they relish in the floating disconnection of subspace and the way their body becomes pliant and limp at the hands of their partner. You can’t imagine it, you can’t imagine ever wanting to release that level of control again.
Mingi’s hand grips yours, and he shakes his head, jaw too tightly clenched to form words.
“Hey,” Yunho soothes you, wrapping his arms around you, “that’s not even on the table, it’s not even near the table, okay? We might mess up in other ways without knowing, but I promise you, we’ll never do that with this. Tone isn’t something you use by mistake,”
You nod, and Mingi interjects softly, “You have to want it, you have to put intention behind it to push an omega to comply, that’s not something we can fuck up in the heat of the moment,”
“Okay,” The nerves in your stomach settle.
“If you’re worried though,” Yunho smooths a hand down your back, “we can be a little more careful about giving you directions, or being bossy,”
“Being alphas?” You laugh and shake your head, “No, no honestly I’ve always liked that and I don’t want this fear to ruin that,”
“Okay,” He nods, a soft smile on his lips, “if something doesn’t feel right though, you tell us.”
“For any of it,” Mingi adds, “stop us in the moment, we’ll readjust.”
“Or stop us full on,” Yunho notes, “I know you want to try, but there’s never a point we can’t stop,”
“I know that,” You nod, “I know I’m safe with you both.”
“Always,” Mingi squeezes your hand again, just a quick pulse to punctuate his intention, the truth behind it.
“What about you?” You ask softly, looking between them.
“Us?” Mingi asks.
“Is there something… I don’t know, that day was terrible but I don’t remember a good bit of it,” You explain, “I don’t know what happened when I was under, what might bother you?”
“I don’t know,” Yunho says honestly, “I’m more scared of hurting you than anything, so maybe don’t push yourself too hard?”
“If something starts to bother me?” You clarify.
He nods, “Yeah,”
“I can do that,” You nod, “we can take it slow,”
“Same for me,” Mingi nods, “we’ll figure it out together.”
It’s quiet for a moment, both of them just resting their hands on your body, and you realize they’re not ready to make the first move.
“Yunho,” You take his hand, sliding it up your thigh to your waistband, “I liked what you were doing before,”
“Yeah?” His expression relaxes, tension bleeding out of the room now that you’ve helped change the course.
“Mhm,” You shift on the bed to lean back into Mingi’s body next to yours and let your legs fall open naturally, “it’s been a long time, will you touch me?”
His fingers slide over your side, playing with the edge of your shirt.
“Will you take care of me?” You murmur.
He nods, his eyes darkening a bit and flicking over your body, darting up once to silently communicate with Mingi, “Lay back, sweetheart,”
Mingi shifts to sit next to you, his legs dropping over the edge of the bed and his broad hands coming to your shoulders. “How’s this?” He asks as he draws you down to lie next to him, both flat on your backs but his arm tucked under your neck so he can cuddle you into his side.
“So nice,” You murmur.
“I’ve missed this,” Yunho hums pleasantly as he peels your leggings down over your hips, “I regretted not putting my mouth on you more the minute your heat was over,”
A thrill rolls through you at his words and you shiver, “Yeah?”
“Mhm,” He finishing rolling off your leggings and smooths his hands up and down your thighs, catching over your hips and hooking his thumbs in the sides of your thong, “you taste like you were made for us,”
“God,” You shiver, letting your head fall back onto Mingi’s bicep.
“So sweet,” Mingi adds, his free hand coming to rest on your chest, slowly dragging up the fabric of your shirt with his fingers.
“You know,” Yunho taps the side of your hip to prompt you to lift them and you shift immediately so he can discard your underwear too, “now that you’re not in heat we can actually take our time,”
“O-oh,” You shudder.
“Good point,” Mingi smiles, adjusting himself so he’s on his side now to look down at you, “no rush,”
You shiver as Yunho adjusts your legs open, pressing a tender kiss to the inside of your knee as he settles between your splayed thighs. A flutter of anticipation bubbles in you and you sigh, “I don’t know,” you smile, “I might start begging for a knot any second,”
Yunho huffs a little laugh, “You can beg all you want,”
Your mouth runs dry at the implication and you look down, “Yeah?”
He nods, but his eyes are glued to your sex, his expression hungry, “Mhm, this time you don’t need a knot, you just want one.”
You open your mouth to say something, but every thought falls right out of your head when Yunho blows a cool stream of air over your exposed core, your body twitching in response.
“God damn,” Mingi curses, shifting a bit so his arm slides out from under you, leaning up so he can get a good view.
“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Yunho murmurs, placing a tender kiss to the inside of your right thigh, slowly kissing his way to the top of your mound.
Your hips jolt in response, a spike of needy pleasure lighting up your spine and you nod, “So good,”
“Good girl,” He hums, dipping forwards and kissing your cunt in earnest, tongue dragging up through your folds slow and steady until he finds your tender bud.
You drop back against the sheets, your body shifting and moving on its own as you arch into his touch, your thighs already trembling at the sensation of pleasure building in your body after so much time.
“Oh, baby,” Mingi says, his voice husky, “you’re so beautiful,”
Yunho’s tongue teases you slowly, exploring you with little touches and licks, and you feel him sigh pleasantly between your thighs as he gets comfortable. Mingi slips lower in the bed, pushing your shirt up over your breasts before dropping his own lips to your hot skin. They kiss like they want to breathe you in until they’re dizzy, and as your eyes slip closed all you can focus on is the feeling of their hands holding you, their tongues, warm breath against your dampened skin.
Hands push your sports bra up to strip you off and leave you bare and then Mingi’s mouth closes over one nipple while his fingers tease the other, flicking and sucking in perfect rhythm to match Yunho’s tongue on your clit.
“God,” You shiver, heat pooling low in your belly, “oh, God,”
Yunho hums against you, pushing closer to your wet center so he can suck your tender clit.
You moan sharply, the feeling heady and dizzying, and you reach down to wind your fingers into his hair. He inhales against your skin and you blink your eyes open, looking down to watch as both your alphas lavish your body. Yunho looks up through the hood of his lashes, his face shiny and wet with your slick, and he shifts to open up your thighs more to his needy mouth.
“Fuck,” Your hips buck, fingers tight against his scalp.
Mingi shifts back up, this time pressing heavily into your space and capturing your mouth, his tongue flicking against yours as he dips you back into the sheets.
“Mmm,” Yunho nods into your core, his tongue pressing inside you as he nestles closer, your clit bumping the bridge of his nose.
Your hips roll, chasing the sensation that has already started to make you dizzy, “Oh, g-god,”
Mingi holds you closer now, your body trembling in his arms, and he strokes your sweat-slick skin, “That’s it,” he coaxes you, “that’s it, omega,”
Your thighs start to shake, and Mingi finds your knee so he can hold you open wide for Yunho’s mouth.
You jerk against him, hips jutting with every spike of pleasure, a blush blooming up your chest and cheeks.
“Ride him,” Mingi coaxes you as your hips roll, “just like that, come on his face,”
Yunho’s hands lock down tight, roughly pulling you a little closer so he can keep working his tongue against you, inside you, sensations exploding everywhere they touch you.
“I’m so fucking close,” You whine, the words running together as sweat breaks across your skin, “P-please,”
”That’s our girl,” Mingi nuzzles into the side of your head, his deep tenor making your brain go fuzzy.
“I’m,” Your eyes screw tightly shut, every movement of your body jerky and uncoordinated but every bump of Yunho’s nose against your clit and his tongue inside you has you right on the perfect precipice, “there, there,”
Yunho stays steady, hearing your need without changing pattern or pressure, and the sudden consistent pulse sends you spiraling.
You come hard, your first orgasm in weeks let alone your first non-heat orgasm with them, and you’re caught fully in the torrent of pleasure with your vision going white and a distinct ringing in your ears.
When you start to come through it, you realize you’re turned to the side, your body completely locked up and you’re gripping Mingi’s arm hard with your nails. He’s rolled close behind you to keep his arms there, but he leans over to see your face.
“So good, wasn’t it?” You catch the end of his sentence, blinking your eyes open and humming in response.
“Yeah,” Yunho’s voice now, and you look down to see him kneeling by your now-closed knees, one broad hand sweeping a line up and down your skin, “there you are,”
“I think you killed me,” You smile wide, tucking your face into the mattress, “you’re talking to a ghost,”
Yunho laughs, and Mingi hums a pleased sound, nuzzling you some more, “Come back over here, gorgeous girl,”
You let him roll you back over into the same position you started in, only this time your body feels like jelly.
“Good?”
“Delicious,” It’s the only word you can think of for how good it all feels.
Yunho nudges your thighs open again and you glance down.
“More?” He grins.
“What about you two?” You’re about halfway through the sentence when Yunho brushes his fingers over your clit again and your words end in a breathy moan.
“We’ve got all night,” Mingi reminds you, “and judging by how hard Yunho is, I think he likes getting you off,”
“Shut up,” Yunho scolds him gently before dropping a warm kiss on your inner thigh, “don’t tell me your dick couldn’t cut glass right now,”
Mingi huffs a laugh, “We have a whiny, desperate, moaning mess of an omega in our bed,” his fingers slide along your side as he talks and you twitch under his hands, “of course I’m hard.”
“Mm,” Yunho kisses up your dripping slit, “baby, why don’t you help him out with that while I take care of you?”
“Y-yeah, yes,” You reach for Mingi, “please, let me help,”
Mingi licks his lips, his hand drifting down to his clothed cock and your eyes flick down to follow. He’s straining against the fabric of his sweatpants, and you clumsily try to open them from your twisted position on the bed for a moment before he stops you.
“Here,” Mingi gets up and shucks off his clothes entirely, settling back down into the same position. He’s achingly hard, the head pink and leaking precum, and you blush at the dirty thoughts that flit through your mind one right after another.
“I can wait,” He offers.
“Fuck,” You shake your head, “I can’t,”
Mingi groans, his hand pumping over his cock once.
“Her mouth,” Yunho suggests between languid licks at your pussy, “trust me,”
You’re nodding before Mingi can even ask if that’s okay, “Please,” you prop yourself up on the bed a little better, “let me taste,”
“Fuck,” Mingi curses.
The three of you move and adjust in tandem until you’re propped at the very edge of the bed for Yunho between your legs, and supported by a pillow behind your shoulder so that you can be slightly turned to the side to reach Mingi where he kneels at your head, his thighs parted wide to drop low and get his cock level with your mouth.
They’re both fully still as you slide forwards, dropping your mouth open and letting the very tip of Mingi’s fat cock pass through your lips and over your tongue.
Mingi moans, and you hum in response.
“You two look perfect,” Yunho murmurs.
“Yeah?” Mingi’s hand brushes over your head, “You hear that, babe? You look perfect sucking my cock,”
You hum around him, taking him deeper into your mouth.
Yunho kisses your mound gently, and you know that’s your warning that he’s about to start again. You gently buck your hips to let him know you’re ready, and he hums softly. Before he starts though, he reaches one hand up and finds where yours is twisted in the sheets, pulling your fingers away so he can hold your hand instead.
He squeezes your hand twice, hard, “If you need air,” he tells you.
You pulse your hand back once to acknowledge his words.
He responds with a sharp thrust of two fingers inside your tight channel and you groan around Mingi’s cock.
“Shit,” Mingi grips you, “jesus, babe,”
Through hooded lashes you look up at him and his jaw tightens, his breath coming in hot exhales through his nose. Whatever you’re doing with your tongue is exactly what he needs and it springs you forwards.
The position isn’t perfect, but it’s close, and so you ignore the little bit of discomfort in your back to give him what he needs. You bob your head back and forth, dragging Mingi’s cock deeper into your warm mouth with every forward sink. He doesn’t direct your movements, but his hand in your hair feels comforting, steady, and makes you want to take him all the more.
“So good,” Mingi pants, “fuck yes, pretty girl,”
Your cunt clenches around Yunho’s fingers and you hear him chuckle between your thighs.
“Ah, ah,” Mingi huffs as you take him further into your throat, “she likes that?”
Yunho lifts his tongue from your clit, “Uh-huh,” he nips a little bite at your inner thigh, “she’s slicking all over my fingers,”
You groan, you didn’t know how they would really be outside of your heat. Heat makes everyone blurry and needy messes, but hearing how filthy they can be on a regular weeknight? No heat, no special occasion, just all of you together? You’re getting dizzy.
“Mm,” Mingi locks his eyes on your face, watching the way you take him nearly to the hilt, “look at you trying to take it all,”
You sink further, ignoring the burn in your jaw and the flickering gag reflex at the back of your throat until your nose is pressed against his pubic bone.
“Jesus f-fuck,” Mingi groans, his head falling back, “that’s it, good fucking girl,”
Yunho’s lips close over your clit again and he sucks hard, ripping a muffled whine from your throat.
“Please,” Mingi begs, and you shiver at the sound of your alpha begging for you, not the other way around.
You pull free from his length and take a deep breath before diving back forwards, this time working him fast and a little sloppy. His fingers tighten up when you tease the head of his cock with the hard tip of your tongue, and his hips jerk every time you slide down about halfway, and with some sort of steady rhythm you double your efforts.
Yunho curses between your legs softly, and then you feel him move, tipping your legs open wider and readjusting his fingers inside you. Your eyes widen when you feel him curl them, locating your spongy g-spot and confirming it with a test jerk of his fingers that sends a shudder through your body as you moan.
He gets the spot right again, and then you’re done for. Between the quick juts of his fingers inside you, repeatedly hitting your sweet spot, and the feeling of his tongue torturing your swollen bud, you don’t have long.
“God,” Mingi pants, “listen to you,”
You’re a wet and whiny mess just like he’s said, only this time your mouth on his cock makes the sound of the room all the more lewd.
“Are you going to come for us again?” Mingi says, voice thready, “Our perfect omega,”
You whine, and you feel Mingi’s cock twitch in your mouth. Everything is foggy and hot, a building knot deep in your core, something bubbling up fast inside you and your hips jerk against Yunho’s fingers.
His thumb brushes the back of your knuckles and your eyes roll back, your orgasm rushing towards you fast.
Mingi’s groaning though, he’s close to spilling himself hot down your throat and when his hips jerk on their own you nod to let him know he can keep going. Falling forwards onto his knees he braces one hand against the mattress and keeps the other rooted in your hair, letting himself rock his hips just enough to drag his length in and out of your lips, over your tongue exactly where he needs the pressure.
”Someday I’m gonna knot that pretty mouth, baby,” He groans.
You moan hard, your back arching up.
Yunho uses your combined hands to push you back down flat to the mattress, and the pressure change has you ready to burst.
There’s so much happening at once, so much sensation pulsing through your body and despite the way that Mingi fucks your face, you’re acutely aware of the warm bubble in your belly dropping low and feeling unlike any orgasm you’ve ever had before.
You whine hard, your head jerking back a little, but Mingi doesn’t pick up on what you need immediately, he’s too close, “I’m gonna come, fuck, I’m g-gonna,”
Yunho takes a sharp breath and then closes his lips over your clit, sucking fast and hard, his fingers pumping firmly at the exact rhythm you need like a metronome counting you through the last beats of your pleasure before the hard crescendo.
Something tightens in your gut, almost painfully and unfamiliar, and you whine harshly again, yanking back from Mingi hard enough that he stutters and lets you go. You fall back into the pillows just as the knot in your gut snaps and you come hot and hard with a staggered cry, arching into Yunho’s mouth as clear fluid starts to pulse from your core.
“Good girl,” He croons, sliding his hand up your wet pussy to rub fast and hard across your clit, prolonging the striking wave, “oh my god, baby, yes, fuck,”
”S-shit,” Mingi falters, his own release ripped away the minute you pulled back, and he makes the neediest whine you’ve ever heard from an alpha in all your life.
You’ll help, you will, as soon as you regain some semblance of which way is up and which is down and use of your arms.
Yunho’s quicker though, he squeezes your hand once before he pulls away, dropping your legs and making sure you’re not going to slide off the bed before he climbs up next to you both.
“You’re alright,” He murmurs, but it’s not to you, and you blink hard to clear the dizzy orgasm away and refocus.
When you turn your head you nearly lose your mind, the sight of your alphas together too good to even have imagined up in your darkest little fantasies. Mingi is still gripping the mattress with one hand and your hair with the other, but Yunho is wrapped behind him and reaching around to work his packmate’s cock with steady, fast strokes.
“F-fuck,” Mingi moans, “h-harder,”
Yunho drops his forehead against Mingi’s broad shoulder and lets his eyes close, picking up the pace of his hand, “Look at her, watch our pretty omega,”
Mingi groans, his eyes blinking open until he finds you.
You reach up, snaking a hand through the tangled mess of arms until you find Mingi’s hard nipple. His eyes widen and he hisses as you pass a thumb over it, shuddering between you both.
“Alpha,” You beg, “come,”
“O-oh my g-,” Mingi chokes as you start to flick his nipple a little more firmly.
”That’s it,” Yunho pants, and you see him looking down at you too, “help him,”
“Mingi,” You whine like you’re starving for him, “come for me, please, please,”
He gasps, hips canting forwards and jerking into Yunho’s fist, holding you steady on the bed as he releases, spurts of milky cum panting your lips, your cheeks, spattering across your naked breasts.
It takes a minute for you all to recover, the only sound in the room the heavy breath shared between you, but you watch as Yunho gently releases Mingi’s softening cock, bracing himself by holding Mingi’s hips for just a moment while he catches his own breath before sliding back and off the bed entirely.
Mingi shifts back, his cheeks and chest flushed pink and the reality of what just happened sinks into you. You have no idea if they’ve ever touched each other before like that, and you all but hold your breath to see where things go from here.
You listen as Yunho pads out of the room and into the connected bathroom, and after a moment of rustling around he returns with two towels. He tosses one down on the floor and you remember suddenly how your own orgasm ended.
”Oh, fuck,” You cover your eyes, “I’m sorry,”
”Don’t be,” Yunho says, “I loved it,”
”Still,” You sigh, “I’ve never done that before,”
Mingi huffs a tiny laugh next to you, and you pull your hand away to look up at him. He smiles a little, “That makes two of us,”
Yunho kneels on the bed, shifting a little closer, and passes the damp end of a towel over all the places you’re still covered in Mingi’s cum. He seems profoundly unaffected by all of it, and you’re a second from asking if he’s okay, but he gets there first.
“Sweetheart,” His gaze is soft and easy, and he looks down at you warmly while he cleans up your cheek, “can I touch your neck?”
You love him.
”Yeah,” You nod, stretching a little so he can reach.
He passes the towel over your throat quickly, “How are you feeling?”
“Really good,” You brush your hand along his arm.
He nods, tossing the towel to the edge of the bed. He looks at you a moment longer, but then he looks up to Mingi and clears his throat, “You good?”
“Yeah,”
You look between them, noticing the unspoken conversation passing between them.
“I hope I didn’t,” Yunho trails off.
“You didn’t,” Mingi promises, “it’s us,”
Yunho sighs, one of his hands coming to rest warmly on your stomach and the other reaching for your other alpha, “Good,”
It’s quiet for a beat, and you need to know where they’re at before you nervously combust.
“Um,” You shift in the sheets until you’re pushing yourself up to a seat with them, “are we… is everything…” you can’t figure out how to ask what you’re asking, so you settle on the only thing that makes sense, “are we good?”
“Of course we are,” Mingi reaches for you, tugging you into his side and pressing a kiss to your lips.
”Sorry,” Yunho squeezes your thigh, “we didn’t mean to exclude you,”
“No, no,” You shake your head, “that’s between you,”
“No,” Yunho disagrees, “we’re all together, and there should never be any questions or secrets,”
“Mhm,” Mingi agrees, “but like I said, it’s us. It doesn’t have to mean anything, but things have always been different where we’re concerned,” He gestures between himself and Yunho.
“But you’ve never?” You let the implication speak for itself.
Yunho shakes his head.
“We made out in college once,” Mingi says, a laugh on his lips, “but we were pretty drunk and it was for a dare,”
“We weren’t that drunk,” Yunho shrugs.
“Hmm,” You stretch your aching limbs and tangle your fingers with Yunho, “I would have loved to have been there for that,”
Mingi laughs earnestly now and tugs you up into his lap, “I didn’t know you’d be such a horny little mess outside of your heat,”
Your core flutters but you tease him right back, “I’m an omega,” you roll your eyes, “we’re all horny messes,”
“That’s convenient then,” He kisses you, nipping at your lip, “since you have two alphas here who want nothing more than to keep you locked on our knots all day,”
You shiver a little.
“Yunho,” Mingi looks up, “come here,”
Yunho’s body heat envelops you on your left side, and they move you until you’re cradled in both their arms, body spread across their laps while Yunho holds your top half in the crook of his left arm and Mingi supports the rest of you.
They lean against each other, bare shoulder to bare shoulder and your mind starts to wander down the path of all of you together again.
“Maybe you were always meant to be pack,” You point out softly, and their hands still where they stroke your skin.
Yunho nods and looks over to Mingi, “We were fast friends,”
“True,” He murmurs.
Yunho smiles and looks down again, “Maybe we just needed to find you,”
“I forgot how much of a romantic you are,”
He dips down to press a fast kiss to your lips, “One of us should be,”
“I’m not complaining,” You peck his lips quick as he leans back up, “never stop,”
Mingi gives your hip a squeeze, and then he takes Yunho’s hand in his, “Let’s romantically make our girl come again,”
Yunho chuckles, low and warm in his chest, “What do you have in mind?”
You watch as Mingi guides Yunho’s fingers down to your entrance only this time he pushes his own fingers in right alongside. The stretch is sudden and perfect and you moan softly, gripping down on Yunho’s knee.
“Show me how you made her come before,” Mingi’s eyes are glued to your core, “I didn’t get to appreciate it before,”
Yunho grins, “Gladly,”
Your next two orgasms are a blur of sensation, their combined attentions pulling feeling out of you that you didn’t know existed without your heat. Mingi’s lavishing you with his tongue, cleaning you up from the mess you’ve made, when you finally make an overstimulated squeak and push his head away.
“Mm,” He kisses your clit, “fine,”
“If either one of you wants to actually fuck me,” You yawn, “I need a break,”
“Sleep,” Yunho pulls a blanket up and over your body, “we’ll be here when you wake up,”
You’d protest, but it sounds too good now that you’re cocooned in the blanket and buried in the pillows. When Mingi collapses at your other side and you have both of them around you, you drift.
You wake to lazy kisses, sleepy nuzzling from both of them, their hands drifting over your body.
You stretch into it, finding both of them hard and warm and wanting.
“Mm,” Mingi curls over your side, kissing any part of skin he can, “hi, sleepyhead,”
You gasp sharply as his mouth closes over your nipple.
“You were moving around in your sleep,” Yunho’s hand coasts up your thigh as he nudges closer, “bad dreams or good dreams?”
You moan as Mingi sucks a little harder, “No dreams,”
“Needy even asleep?” Mingi teases.
“I,” You start to say, but you feel Yunho’s cock nudging at the apex of your thighs, the head pushing against your clit.
“Fuck,” Yunho sighs, “you’re still wet,”
You shiver, and he pushes his hips forward a little to slide his cock against your slick slit further.
His hands tighten on you and he shudders a sigh into your hair.
“Please,” You part your knees, “no more teasing, I, just, please,”
Mingi shifts away from your back to give you a little space and without hesitation Yunho rolls you. Your legs part open naturally now that you’re on your back.
“Is this okay?” Yunho murmurs, brushing the hair back from your face as he settles above you and in between your splayed knees.
“Mhm,” You soothe him, his nerves evident despite the heat between you all in the room.
“And this?” He asks softly, the velvet head of his cock pressing against your entrance.
“Slow,” You gasp as he starts to push in, and he adjusts his pace. As always, his size dwarfs you, and it takes you time to adjust. In heat it’s easy to take an alpha’s cock with almost no preparation, your body producing enough slick and your muscles adjusting so that days of sex and knotting don’t feel so difficult.
Outside of heat you can take it too, but it’s not as quick and simple.
Your eyes flutter shut, focusing on the stretch of it, the ache, the way your channel seems to resist and then give way to him in the most warm and dizzying pleasure.
“Sweetheart,” He whispers, “are you with me?”
“Mhm,” You look back up at him, “you feel incredible.”
He sighs, relief in his eyes, and with one more careful push he seats himself fully inside you.
“You feel,” You shiver, words dying on your lips.
He smiles as he lowers himself down, resting an elbow on either side of your head and lacing one hand in your hair, “How do I feel, little omega?”
Your muscles flutter and clench around him and you sigh, “Big, it’s… god it’s so much more than when I was in heat,”
“No pain?”
“No,” You let your fingers stroke up and down the length of his back.
“Good,” He hums, dipping down to kiss you tenderly, “because you’re perfect, you feel perfect around me,”
His tongue dips into your mouth this time, a soft kiss turns needy, and slowly he starts to move, thrusting his hips shallowly just to get you used to the sensation.
Mingi shifts to rest close to you both, his fingers running up and down your arm softly, and you reach for him to twine your fingers together as you watch Yunho watching you.
“Yunho,” you breathe, “baby,”
You can feel the emotion rolling off him in waves, the tenderness as he presses himself deeper into you.
“Sweetheart,” His fingers brush along your cheek, “I, god, I,”
“I know,” your head falls back, and you grip Mingi’s hand.
Yunho picks up the pace slightly, a little faster and a little more with each stroke and he shudders when he hears a sharp moan, “Good?”
“Please, don’t stop,” You beg him, gripping down onto his shoulder with your free hand.
He adjusts your bodies, pressing over yours so that your hips rock with his in a rolling rhythm, and his lips capture yours. His warm breath, the pressure of him above you, waves of sensation as you breathe in his warm, safe scent.
You’re creeping up to the edge of an orgasm, but you feel him shudder above you before he moans against your mouth and you pull him tight to you.
“Please,” you moan, “Yunho please,”
“Say it,” he whispers, “tell me,”
The words spill out of you, “Baby, I, god, I love you,”
His hips slow and he meets your eyes, absolute tender adoration rolling off him in waves when he replies, “I love you so much,”
“I missed you,” You confess, a sudden rush of emotion through your chest and tears pricking at your eyes. Blinking hard you look to the side to find Mingi and squeeze his hand, “I missed you both. I love you both,”
Mingi’s expression crumbles and he presses forwards to kiss you, his lips connecting to yours with intensity, his free hand against your face, a sigh on his lips when he leans back. His thumb brushes along your cheekbone, his eyes misty, “You’re our omega, our mate,” he corrects, “we’re never letting go of you again.”
“Mingi,” You soften.
“I love you,” He replies, kissing the back of your hand.
When Mingi slides back a little further, you look back to Yunho and see that he's frozen still above you, watching you both with warmth. When you meet his eyes, a small smile plays across his mouth, “Can you take more, baby?”
Your body jerks gently against him, just the implication that he would fuck you earnestly making your mind dizzy, and all you can do is nod, “Yes, yes,”
He rocks back down on you in an instant, gathering you as close as he can while he fucks you soft, meeting your mouth and saying everything he needs to in the kiss. All the apologies, the amends, he pours it all into this until he hears you whining beneath him, arcs of pleasure spiking up your spine with every deep roll of his pelvis against your clit and push of his cock in deeper.
“Like that?” He pants against your cheek.
“Don’t you dare stop,” You arch against him, holding him tightly to you as you let him move.
Something about the slow steady pressure he’s applying is making you careen back up to the top of pleasure. There’s a time and a place for hard and deep, but this? This has you melting into his hands in a way you’d never have expected and your legs quiver as you try to hitch your calves on his hips to give him a deeper angle.
“C-close?” He manages.
You nod, twisting your head to the side to catch his mouth again.
“Mm,” He groans against your mouth, “I can feel it,”
Your fingers tighten on him.
“Fuck,” He curses, his movements staying controlled and slow, firm but not too fast.
Tears gather in your eyes, the way the bubble is building inside of you is almost painfully good, and heat spreads over every inch of your skin before concentrating hot on your core. You feel the bed shift, and without looking you know Mingi is close by, all of your scents mingling together now in a way that bubbles emotion deep in your chest.
You think that this is what people mean when they say making love.
Your back arches, fingers digging into him, tears spill over your temples and into your hair as you let your head rock back, “Alpha,” you whine.
Yunho moans above you, and he mutters something on his lips but you can barely hear it.
This time when your neck stretches long and open to them, you know they won’t hurt you. Mingi’s hand slides underneath to cup the top of your neck and the base of your head, his fingers mingling with Yunho’s in your hair.
“We’re here, omega,” Mingi murmurs low, “let go for us,”
A tight strained noise bubbles from your lips as the feeling builds.
“You’re safe,” Mingi soothes.
Yunho shudders a moan, and you feel the slow swell of his knot starting to bump against your slick hole. He’s desperately close but holding on as best he can for you to get there first.
Mingi directs his next words away from your ear, “Don’t stop, she’s nearly,”
Yunho makes a noise, and you feel his fingers grip down.
It hits you like a snap of fire, your limbs a shaking mess, and you cry out sharply and twist beneath them in the sheets, pleasure overtaking you until you think you may not be able to take a second more.
“Shh,” one of your alphas says, but you’re too far gone to know which.
You’re a mess, the orgasm seemingly never-ending, and you can feel the hot tears and hear the way you’re sobbing in pleasure but it’s disconnected and floaty.
Yunho’s hips start to slow and then you start to feel him pull back entirely and something deep inside you panics.
Snapping forward you wrap your arms harder around him and pull him back down, your brain too fuzzy to say anything more coherent than, “Knot,” you beg, “please,”
He folds back over you, shifting your hips up and open wider, and though you can see the brief flicker of hesitation in his eyes he starts to snap his hips harder into you, the steady click of your wet skin against his the only clear sound in the room.
His cock spearing you open is so much sensation you can’t focus on anything else, every connection of your bodies and kiss of his skin pushing an overstimulated moan from your lips.
Yunho’s close now, his hands tight, breath thready, and he gathers you closer to his chest until you’re cupped against his breastbone.
“S-she,” He chokes.
“She’s alright,” Mingi assures him, his hand still warm against your back.
He’s scared for you, still so concerned about hurting you or being too much for you, especially out of your heat and especially after everything. He doesn’t understand that this kind of need, this want for each other so wholly is healing parts of you that you didn’t know were broken.
You tug him closer, kiss his chest where’s you’re cradled, “Yunho,” you whine, “knot me, b-baby knot me, come,”
He collapses, hips thrusting hard and then you feel the sudden push of something wide, the stretch as it locks inside, and then the warm sensation of his release filling you.
Yunho’s still panting hot against your skin when you feel Mingi shift, pushing Yunho back from your body so he can see you. He finds your chin, pulling your face up gently to meet his.
Yunho responds too, the head rush of his own release fading enough that he can focus and his hands smooth back your damp hair, “Are you alright?” His voice is shaky, “Sweetheart, did I hurt you?”
“God, no,” You breathe.
Mingi slides down in the sheets while still gingerly holding your chin, trying to get a good look at your eyes, “Babe?”
“Hmm,” You blink, finding his face more clearly, “hey,”
“Hey,” He smiles, but you can still see an anxiety in him.
“What’s wrong?” Your head is finally starting to clear enough for you to realize that they don’t seem relaxed in post-coital bliss, they seem stressed.
He shakes his head a little, lost for something to say, but his wide hand slides up and his thumb brushes along your cheekbone to your temple, “You’re crying,” he murmurs, “you were crying,”
“I’m okay,” You shake your head, “I’m more than okay, I’m… it was so good, it was,”
Mingi sighs heavily, his head dropping to rest on your shoulder, “Oh fuck,”
Yunho presses a hard kiss to your forehead as he exhales his own relief against your hair. His knot starts to soften, and your hips naturally start to shift away to separate you, but with Yunho heavy above you it’s impossible.
“Easy,” He murmurs against your skin, and you hear him breath in sharply in a way that sounds like he’s pushing back his own tears, “let me,”
It takes a moment, but as soon as his knot is down enough he slides out of your slick channel. He drops to the side of the bed that Mingi isn’t occupying and drags up one of the blankets to cover the three of you.
Mingi stretches out beside you too, and in a moment you’re cuddled between them.
“Closer,” You tug them in. After that, you need to be absolutely enveloped in them.
They both shift in until all of your legs are tangled together, and Mingi brushes your cheeks again, “Babe,”
“I promise,” You reach up to brush away any lingering wetness under your eyes, “it was just overwhelming, but in the best way. I can’t explain,”
“It was,” Yunho agrees softly.
“I just,” You feel another bubble of emotion as you recall it, trying to understand how to articulate it, “it’s like I could feel you both so much closer, more than I could for my heat, more than…. I don’t know, I just realized that you’re really mine. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I…”
Yunho shakes his head, “We’re the ones who can’t believe we have you,”
You twist in the bed, wrapping your arms around Yunho and hugging him close, “I love you,” you kiss his lips, his cheek, “thank you for taking care of me,”
He softens, “Always,”
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” You need him to understand, “but you made me feel so loved and so safe,”
Your hand reaches back to find Mingi so you can tug him closer still and he slides up to your back and wraps an arm around the two of you.
“Both of you,” You hold them close, “no one’s ever made me feel like this,”
Mingi nods against you.
You hold each other close, breathing in the same air for a few moments, no one willing to rush the comedown when it was as emotional as it was. You stretch long in the bed between them to ease the sensation back into all your limbs and Yunho’s eyes darken, flicking down to take in your naked body again.
He’s half hard again by the time you’ve relaxed into the sheets and you smile.
Mingi’s fingers stroke up and down the smooth plane of your abdomen, light enough to tickle.
“Again?” You ask, a little breathless.
“Mhm,” Mingi draws his hand down lower, teasing just a little with the tips of his fingers.
“God,” You shiver.
Yunho nods, “Definitely again,”
“Mm,” Mingi rolls his fingers over your clit, “next heat, we’ll both fuck you together, wouldn’t that be perfect, pretty girl?”
A distinct flicker of need passes through you at his words. You do want that. You want it so bad you shudder and moan, your fingers digging into Yunho’s chest.
You shake your head and push Mingi’s arm away, “We should try,”
“What, now?” For the first time you see him truly caught off guard.
“Please,” You nod, “we don’t need to wait, I want you both,”
Yunho’s hand smooths up and down your arm, “It might be too much,”
“So then we stop,” You counter.
Mingi wets his lips, thinking it through and then he nods, “I’m not knotting your ass,”
You blush.
“Today,” He adds, “but, okay, let’s try.”
“Who do you want where, baby?” Yunho’s fingers trace your jaw lightly.
“Um,” You look between them, a little dizzy at how quickly they agreed, how immediately this is about to happen, “I’m not sure,”
Yunho looks up, “You take her ass,”
Your core clenches and Mingi smiles at the blush in your cheeks.
“Sweetheart,” Yunho rolls onto his back, “come right up here,”
Slowly you ease one leg over and settle yourself over his cock. You’re still dripping with slick and Yunho’s last release, and it makes the slide easy as you sink down and bury him right back where he belongs.
He exhales sharply, “Perfect,”
Mingi leans back, finding the bedside table and pulling out the drawer, searching for the lube he knows is there that he’s definitely going to need with you not in heat. When he comes back he’s still sitting next to you and Yunho but he faces you, and you’re about to ask why he’s not already behind you when he cracks open the top of the lube and applies some to his index and middle fingers.
“Oh,” You breathe softly.
He slides closer on his knees now and reaches around you, “Lean forward a little on Yunho,”
You do just as he asks, and Yunho brings his hands up to brace you at the ribs, making sure that he’s supporting you from below.
“Babe,” He kisses your shoulder, “outside of the heat with us, have you ever done this?”
His fingers slide slowly over the tight ring of muscle and you twitch, “Been d-double penetrated?”
Mingi laughs at your description and Yunho smiles up at you. Mingi shakes his head, “No, has anyone ever touched you here?”
He presses with his finger but doesn’t push in and heat floods up your belly, “Mm-mm” you manage.
“Have you ever played with yourself like this?” He finally starts to push in a digit and you gasp, “Ever put anything inside?”
“N-no,” You moan as he presses his finger in deeper.
“I thought so,” Mingi murmurs, “we need to take our time,”
“I can do it,” You insist, the idea that you might not get what you want after he teases you like this is actually torturous.
“Of course you can,” Yunho cups your cheek, “you’re our omega,”
Your cunt flutters and clenches around his cock.
Mingi withdraws his finger and this time when he presses back in, it’s with two.
Yunho strokes your skin softly, lazily drawing a line from your chest to belly and back up, “Our mate,” he adds, “you were made to take us,”
Your hips cant forwards, pushing down on Yunho’s pelvic bone for any amount of pressure and stimulation on your aching bud.
He groans, “God,”
Mingi pumps his fingers slowly.
Yunho refocuses your eyes on his, “We know you can take us both,” he offers, “but I think what Mingi is saying is that if you’ve never done anything like that, especially regularly, we need to go slow and prep you.”
“Oh,” You relax a little.
“Mhm,” Mingi dips his head and you turn to meet his mouth in a kiss, “just let us make you feel good first,”
“Okay,” You breathe against his lips.
“Yunho,” Mingi murmurs, not drawing his face away from yours.
“Yes,” Yunho hums, and he slides his hand lower.
“Come here,” Mingi sweeps his free hand up and down your arm, and you twist to wrap them around his shoulders, “good girl,”
Your hips roll at his praise.
He finds your lips again, but this time it feels like everything is in slow motion. He worships your mouth with hot, lazy kisses, his tongue against yours and his nose nuzzling into you. The kind of kissing people don’t have time for unless they’re exploratory teenagers or intentional tantric lovers. He gets you used to the slowness, all the while his fingers a still, solid weight inside you.
Yunho’s hands match the pace perfectly, his ability to read the scene and you both uncanny, and all he does is tease. His hands squeeze, slow and firm across your sweat slick skin. Thighs, hips, waist, a tantalizing squeeze to your soft belly. He finally reaches your mound but doesn’t do anything, just rests his hot hand at the top of your cunt and waits.
You’re panting against Mingi’s mouth, lost in the hazy array of their bodies and yours, no concept of what time it is or how many times you’ve really come so far, it’s just you and your alphas and this bed. You push up a little higher on your knees as the kisses get headier, and you hear Yunho hum beneath you, his cock physically twitching and throbbing in your hot channel.
With the slight position adjustment, both of your boys take the opportunity to change the playing field. In tandem they move, Yunho slides two fingers under you, one on either side of your clit and where his cock spears you open, and he just presses ever so slightly to increase the pressure. Mingi slowly pumps his fingers again, this time pushing into your ass noticeably deeper and separating his fingers on each thrust a little wider to start to scissor you open.
You’re trembling, that much is obvious from the way your thighs quiver, and you whine against the cushion of Mingi’s lips, the sound swallowed by his own hungry groan.
You feel Mingi’s free hand slide away from your upper back and he taps Yunho’s chest twice.
“Mhm,” He acknowledges softly.
You break the kiss, your forehead on Mingi’s, “Baby,”
Your words are swallowed up though, he dives in again for another kiss but this time they move their hands with purpose. Mingi pumps harder, a third finger squeezing inside and Yunho’s fingers slide up and press down perfectly over your slick clit. He rolls his fingers at a steady, even pace and pressure as Mingi opens you up further to him.
Hot pleasure spikes up your body and you moan hard, gripping down on Mingi’s shoulders.
“There you go,” Yunho says, his voice tight and low, “good girl, fuck yourself on my cock,”
You didn’t even know you were doing it, your mind so hazy with sensation but he’s right, your body started moving on its own, sinking up and down just enough on Yunho’s thick length that you could imagine both of them taking you properly.
“Oh, fuck,” Yunho curses, “look at you slicking all over me,”
You whine.
“So horny from Mingi playing with your pretty ass?” His voice husky.
“Oh!” You squeak as hot sensation spikes up your body, and you slip away from Mingi’s mouth to bury your face into his shoulder.
“Oh, yes,” Mingi groans holding you close with one hand while he fucks into you with the other, “so fucking tight, baby,”
“Fuck,” You cry.
“You really think you can take my cock?” He teases, scissoring his fingers again
You nod, whining, words completely inaccessible.
“She’s our girl,” Yunho praises, “aren’t you, baby?”
You choke out a moan.
“Say it,” Mingi prompts.
“I,” You shudder, jutting down with your hips to force more of Yunho inside you, “yes, I’m your girl,”
Mingi’s hot voice at your ear is your undoing, “Is our girl close?”
Your nails dig into Yunho’s chest.
“Is our girl going to come?” He nips at your ear and you see stars.
Your body jerks against Yunho, the slick drag of your clit against his fingers where they still press, trapped between your body and his, and Mingi grunts in your ear as he pushes his hand harder and faster. You tear into your orgasm with a scream, a cord snapping in your belly and leaving your body shaking from head to toe, and Yunho shifts you up and lets his cock spring free so he can stimulate you through the end, wetness coating your thighs from where you released again.
You whine when it starts to feel like overstimulation, and Yunho stops, his warm hand coming to cup your cunt as Mingi’s fingers slide out of your channel.
“Shh,” Mingi pets your back, “oh, baby, you’re okay, we got you.”
You’re a babbling mess, not even really conscious of what you’re saying until the arcs of pleasure fade and you’re left boneless and held between them.
Yunho hums appreciatively, “Incredible,”
“Uh-huh,” You agree weakly.
Mingi strokes you more, kissing your head, “You’re still shaking,” he squeezes you like he can’t get enough.
Blinking hard, the stars start to clear and you lift your head a little, “Did we make a mess?”
Yunho laughs, “Fuck yes we did,”
You ease yourself off of Mingi’s shoulders and he helps settle you to a seat straddling Yunho again, “Fuck, the sheets,”
“Are made for heats,” Yunho dismisses, “they’ll be fine, it’s not the last time we’ll be making you squirt,”
“Tonight,” Mingi chuckles, “if we’re lucky,”
“Fuck,” You shiver and laugh, brushing your hair back and shaking your head.
“What?” Mingi pokes you.
“I just didn’t expect you two to be so…” You can’t put your finger on it.
“So?” Yunho’s brows furrow.
You’ve had plenty of sex, some of it you would have considered very good sex, but this? It’s another level of pleasure and need that you didn’t know existed. It could be your scent match, it could just be them and how compatible you are together, but there’s no question that it’s distinctly different and distinctly better.
You search for the right words but land on, “Feral?” You smile, “Maybe?”
“There’s no use in being anything else when it’s us,” Mingi says matter of factly.
An ache settles inside you. Any shame you had about sex at all dissipates in your mind and you smile, “You’re right,” you move forward on Yunho’s thighs, “now will you please both fuck me?”
You sink back down on Yunho’s cock in one fluid motion and he moans, his hips jerking up into the cradle of your hips.
“Hi, baby,” You grind down to take every little inch.
“Hi,” He’s breathless, an almost dopey pleasured grin on his face.
“Mm,” You sigh, enjoying the deep warmth of his cock inside you, “you feel so fucking good,”
“Yeah?”
You nod, “I want you inside me all the time,”
“That can be arranged,” He chuckles, reaching up to draw you down closer to his chest, locking his lips on yours.
You hum warmly against him, rolling your hips softly, “You can have me anytime,”
His hands tighten on your arms, “Careful, baby,”
“You’d like that?” You tease him, nipping at his lip, “Sliding inside me whenever you want,”
He groans and uses his firm hands to stop any amount of movement, “If you want Mingi to be included in this at all, you need to stop with that mouth,”
“Fine, fine,” You concede and you settle down, you’ll just torture him another time since it seems like teasing him is a sure fire way to get him to lose his mind.
Mingi’s hand strokes your back and you glance over to him as he locates the bottle of lube and starts shuffling towards you both again on his knees.
“Ready?” He asks.
“I’ve been ready,” You didn’t mean to sound so needy, but you are and it’s obvious.
“Mhm,” Mingi murmurs, and then he’s sliding behind you.
He straddles Yunho’s legs, fully situated with his hips right behind yours, and you listen as the bottle opens and then closes, the wet sound of his hand slicking up his cock with lube.
“Tell me if you need to slow down,” Yunho murmurs, pressing a kiss to your lips, “I’m not moving until he’s in, okay?”
Nerves bubble through you suddenly, “Okay,”
The sound of him shifting on the sheets behind you spikes anxiety up your spine.
A heavy hand settles on one hip and your stomach tightens. Another passes up and down your spine and your breath feels suddenly tight and thready. His hand anchors on your shoulder for a moment, the tips of his fingers startlingly close to your pulsepoint and your heart starts to flutter faster.
You know it’s Mingi, of course it is. Yunho’s here in front of you, and that means it couldn’t be anyone but Mingi behind you, but something about your already heightened nerves at the new experience and the inability to see him has you scared.
Yunho’s studying your face, a second away from realizing where you are, but you pump the brakes first.
“Wait, stop,” You manage.
The hands on your body lift off.
You’re breathing a little faster than you should, your heart hammering in your chest.
“Hard stop?” Yunho asks quietly.
You shake your head and swallow back some of the sudden fear, “Mingi?”
“I’m here,” He assures.
You sigh, relief flooding through you and you let your head drop down onto Yunho’s chest.
“It’s me,” He soothes you, realizing immediately where your mind had gone, “it’s me and it’s Yunho, okay?”
“Yeah,” You exhale and nod, “I know, I just… for a second,”
It’s quiet for a moment, but then Mingi says, “Babe?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I touch you, or should we stop?” He’s so careful, so tender. Distantly you remember the moment in the locker room all those months ago, the way he had carefully protected you when he found you in heat, vulnerable and alone. The two men around you have done nothing but protect you, care for you, and seek not just consent but need from you before anything and everything you’ve done together and that realization makes your body soften.
“Yeah,” You reply, “you can, I’m okay,”
You expect his hands back on your hips, but instead you feel a hand on top of yours where you cling to Yunho, and then another on your opposite, Mingi’s fingers threading together with yours.
You blink your eyes open and stare at your combined hands. You know him, you know these hands. You study his rings, the silver ones he always wears, and the little scar on the side of his thumb.
“It’s me,” He gently strokes your finger with his thumb.
“Hi,” You breathe.
“Can you sit up for me?” He asks and you nod.
Both of them draw you up to a sitting position, still angled forwards a little over Yunho but this time where you brace Yunho’s chest, Mingi’s hands cover yours, fingers still intertwined.
“Look at Yunho,” Mingi shifts closer to your back, kissing your shoulder, “and I’m right here.” He punctuates his words with a squeeze to your hands.
“We’ve got you,” Yunho murmurs, “we’re here,”
“I’m ready,” You echo the sentiment from before, but this time you actually are.
Mingi drops his lips to your shoulder again and kisses you, “Just relax, breathe into it,”
The slippery head of his cock nudges your entrance.
Yunho reaches around your bodies and assists, helping to guide Mingi’s cockhead inside you while his hands are busy.
It’s nothing startling at first, just a bit of pressure and not unlike his fingers from before, but when the head of him catches inside, and Yunho drops back, then you start to feel it.
Pressure blooms into a stretch, unlike anything you’ve ever felt before, and you gasp.
“How do I feel, babe?” Mingi’s got to be holding himself steady with so much control.
“Good,” You manage, “it’s so…”
He pushes his hips forward a little more, opening you up as his cock starts to thicken.
“Fuck,” You squeeze his hands.
“Good?” He checks again.
You nod, but Yunho smiles below you, “You should see her face,” he murmurs.
“I knew it,” Mingi pushes in more, “I knew you could take us,”
You moan sharply, the heat of them both an insane combination that pushes any thought out except for the sensation between your legs.
“God,” Yunho finally groans beneath you, “are you in?”
“A-almost,” Mingi sighs hot against your skin, “j-just a little more,”
A little more? You can’t even imagine, but he thrusts a little more sharply this time to seat himself fully and you grip down on his hands. It burns a little, but fades just as fast as it comes, and now all you can feel is the tremendous fullness of the weight of them together inside you.
“This is,” You blink looking down and seeing Yunho’s pelvis pressed against yours, Mingi’s thighs caging you in from behind, “I d-don’t even know,”
Mingi shifts forwards a little, mostly to adjust his position but it pushes him the smallest amount deeper and you moan sharply. Yunho hisses beneath you, his hips pulsing just once and you feel the way his hands grip down hard on your plush thighs.
“Can you feel him?” You manage.
“Yeah,” Yunho pants, “it’s… this is insane,”
“I’m,” Mingi sighs against your back, “I need a second,”
“Too good?” Yunho smiles.
“Just…” Mingi grips your hands, “nobody move, I’ll come way too fast,”
Filled to the brim like this you’re desperate to move though, it’s all you want to do. You all stay as steady as you can, just the sound of each other’s heavy breaths as you all get your bearings, but in the end you start to move first.
With the smallest shift, you rock your hips once, grinding them further into you and against each other through the thin wall inside you, and you moan.
Mingi jerks.
“Please,” You murmur into the hushed room.
Yunho looks up to Mingi behind you and nods, “Slow,”
They move in sync, a slow drag out and push back in and after two strokes you think you’ll be addicted to them fucking you like this.
“Y-yes,” You roll back with your hips, fucking back into them, “more,”
Mingi drops his lips to your back and uses the position adjustment to snap his hips harder, “You need more?”
A spark of hot pleasure echoes through you and you whine, “Anything, do anything you want, just fuck me,”
“Good girl,” Yunho hums beneath you, and you feel him adjust his legs and brace his hands on the bed.
Your soul quite possibly leaves your body the second they start fucking you in earnest. All you can do is hold onto them now, both of their cocks stretching you open with every quick pulse of their hips. None of you are going to last long at this rate but you really don’t care.
“Oh, god,” You collapse lower onto Yunho’s chest, still gripping Mingi’s hands to ground yourself.
“You’re so fucking tight, omega,” Yunho groans, gritting his teeth.
“And warm,” Mingi nearly growls.
“Wet,” Yunho moans.
Your mind is dizzy and hazy and full of pleasured pops.
Yunho’s hand cups your cheek, drawing your unfocused eyes down to his. He’s checking you, you can see that, but the moment you smile he nods like he’s praising you, “How do we feel, jagi?”
“So good,” You whine, grinding down and back and pushing into the sensation, “I’m so fucking full,”
Mingi chokes out a moan behind you.
“That’s our girl,” Yunho nods again and thrusts a little harder.
A shudder of hot warmth echoes up through your body and you know you’re blushing hard for them, slick with sweat and need.
“Say it,” Mingi groans, “say you’re ours,”
“I’m all fucking yours,” The words come out in a rush, “I’m your omega,”
His hips stutter and you’re all starting to lose your grip. He pushes a little too hard, and you both collapse forwards. You’re a tangle of limbs now, your face pressed up against Yunho’s throat, Mingi pressed into every inch of your back. Two of your hands are still clasped together and bracing the bed above, but the other two have separated and you hold tight to Yunho with your free hand while Mingi holds your hip with his.
They both haven’t stopped despite the position change, both of them needy and close themselves, rutting into you again and again.
“Fuck,” You curse, a roll of pleasure up your body, “alpha, please,”
“Come,” Yunho chokes, “come on our cocks, baby,”
It slams into you, his words as good as a command when you fall apart into shaking moans, pleasure washing through you.
“That’s,” Yunho starts to say, but at the sensation of your walls clenching down around him he loses all control and thrusts up hard, his knot locking firmly in place as he pumps rope after rope of hot cum inside you. He’s shuddering too, an overstimulated hiss as Mingi keeps fucking into you.
“So tight,” Mingi breathes hot against your spine, “my perfect girl,”
“Oh, Mingi,” You grip his hand, pressing your eyes closed as your body is worked over, “baby, please,”
He sucks in a sharp breath, pulling free from your body with a whine, and you hear him stroke desperately fast until he knots in his hand and spills his release across your skin, painting your backside until it drips down your cunt to where you’re still locked together with Yunho.
You feel euphoric, an almost drug induced haze of bliss, and you nuzzle into Yunho’s throat to press little kisses along his gland, your tongue darting out to taste his scent.
He shivers under you, “Feeling good, baby?”
“Mhm,” Rich, wet earth, the crackling of air before a storm. You worm your way closer to him, breathing him in.
Mingi’s hand untangles from yours and he shifts himself back from the both of you to grab a towel and come back to bed.
“Shh,” Yunho murmurs, his knot softening so he can pull himself free, “it’s okay,”
You didn’t even notice you had whined to keep him inside, and you’re not in heat, but something about the experience felt transcendental and you’re not even bonded yet.
Mingi drops a towel over the bed and they both ease you over so you can lay on your back, but you pull Mingi down, needing to settle yourself more, “Alpha,”
“Hey,” He starts but you yank him down and snuggle into his neck too, soaking in the rich cocoa of his scent, “whoa, hey,” he laughs.
You lap a stripe up his throat and he sighs, his body softening delightfully under your touch.
“What’s this?” He murmurs, stroking your skin.
“Need you,” You explain, and that’ll have to be enough.
You move then on instinct, your omega close to the surface now as you seek out what you truly need. With a hand laced in Mingi’s hair you direct him, pushing his head down while you stretch your neck long, and setting his mouth directly over your gland.
You’re not afraid.
He hesitates, breathing you in for a moment, and then you murmur a please.
Mingi’s tongue traces your neck as he drinks in your scent, his kisses slow and reverent over your mating gland.
You reach up and find Yunho, not feeling complete until you have them both.
“You need me too?” Yunho settles at your side.
“Please,”
Mingi makes space until you’re flat on the bed with your head back, neck bared to them both. They scent you slowly, deliberately and with delicious care. They kiss your neck and suck softly at your pulse points, they drink you in until your head starts to clear. They scent you until there could be no question who you belonged to and whose bed you come back to every night.
You tumble into sleep just the same, your alphas on either side of you, bodies wrapped up so closely together you don’t know whose skin is whose, their lips softly at your throat, whispering their love like a prayer .
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mrsmnsn · 1 year ago
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“You look more like Kirk Hammet”
Eddie Munson x fem!reader
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another day, another fluff fic 🤭
wc: 1.2k
author’s note- The reader is Dustin’s sister!!!
Enjoy!
*********
Now, you were at your work, at Family Video, just waiting for him. It was like a routine. Every friday he would walk through the door and search for movies for his weekend.
At first, you only knew Eddie because of his reputation. "Eddie 'the freak' Munson" as the people in your school used to say. Honestly, you never knew why people would call him that. Only because he liked to play Dungeons & Dragons? Your brother did too, and he was no freak! Was he incredibly annoying? Yes! But it's not like he would worship the devil for that.
But with time, you got to know him a little bit better and you got to see he was nothing but a sweetheart. That's probably when you started to crush on him. You were in the senior year and, consequently, would share classes with him. It's not like you would talk to him all the time, but the times you did, even if it was just to say that he dropped his keys on the floor, your heart would melt.
On this friday, Dustin said that he wanted to come with you for work because he wanted to talk to Steve. So there he was, whispering something to Steve while Robin were organizing the new movies in the shelves and you were just singing along with the radio, which was playing a song of Mötley Crüe, a band you definitely didn't only like because of Nikki Sixx.
When the bell rang, announcing that someone was entering, you stopped singing and turned around seeing him walking to you. You could feel your cheeks getting red.
"Hey you. How was your week?" he said placing the movies he got in the last week in the counter
"Hi Eddie. It was good, thanks." You said looking at his hands full of rings
"Do you mind if i leave this here while i look for some movies?" he asked already looking to the horror section
"No, not at all!" You said giving him a smile which he reciprocated. You felt your stomach do a flip
As he walked to the shelves, Robin got close to you, giving you a mischievous smirk.
"What?" you asked and she only raised her eyebrows. "Oh please Robin, we're at work."
"I didn't say anything! I just think that, you know... you should go for it. You have a shot!" She said while you both looked at him trying to make a decision between two movies.
"Oh yeah, like if thats true! I don't think i have and honestly i don't think i want to figure it out." You say putting your hair into a ponytail "What if he reject me?"
"You'll only know if you ask babe." She said going to the back to get more boxes
Of course you wanted to say something to him, but how could you? You didn't know how things could go if he said he wasn't interested on you. It's not like he was going to spread gossip, he could never. If you knew one thing about him, it was that he was not like the jerks at school, he was respectful and gentle. Well, at least with you. All you got....
"Y/n!" He called you making you snap out of your trance.
"Sorry. I was just... thinking." you said getting the movies on his hands. Your fingers touched for a moment and you could still feel the warmth from his hands.
"What got you all up in your head?" He said taking his wallet and with a little concern in his face.
"Oh nothing. Just, stupid teenage girl stuff." You said laughing a little and he didn't say anything else.
The song in the radio was another one from Mötley Crüe and you hummed the song while handing him the movies he got.
"You like Mötley Crüe?" He said trying to see if he heard you hum the song or if he was just mistaken.
"Tell that to her bigger then 40 inches Nikki Sixx poster in her bedroom wall" Robin said behind you looking to the computer.
"Robin! Shut up!" You scolded her. It was not even that big "I'm sorry" you said looking at Eddie who was getting amused
"Oh yeah? Nikki Sixx, huh?" He said giggling "I look a little like him, don't i?"
You study his face for a second, as if you needed to. "You look more like Kirk Hammet"
"Oh yeah, this one is making company in the wall for Nikki too!"
"ROBIN!" You were getting redder by each second. So embarrassed to look at the man in front of you. But he found the whole situation very funny.
"Well, i'll take that as a compliment." He said looking at your eyes "So, Metallica too? You don't seem to like this kind of music"
"I wouldn't say that i'm a huge fan of them, i only know a couple songs and that's it. It's not like i listen to metal all the time like you. I only have the posters because i, uh, i think they're pretty" You said nervously talking before thinking and not really realizing what you're saying.
"It a'right. They're pretty metal!" He said but got interrupted by you brother
"Eddie! What are you doing here?" Dustin said happy to see his friend. You didn't know how they knew each other
"What do you think?" He said showing the video tapes on his hands "What're you doing here?"
"I'm here with my sister! Do you know her?" Dustin said looking at you
"Y/n is your sister? Of course i know her! How come i didn't know you were related?" he said looking back at you
"You've never asked if i had a sister."
"How do you know him?" I asked curious as well, too confused to connect the dots
"He's my dungeon master y/n, i told you i got in a d&d club!" Now everything connected.  "Can i talk to you? i had a incredible idea for a campaign!" Your brother said while Eddie head out of the store
"Sure. Bye gorgeous!" He said winking at you and that was it. You were melted inside.
"What are you waiting for? He's flirting with you! It's your chance." Robin said giving you courage to go after him before he left
You stormed out of Family Video when Duntin came in again. There he was ready to leave when he saw you.
"Hey, uhm, hi." You said too nervous going to his opened window. His van was tall so you were face to face with him.
How could he get even more hot with sunglasses on. You had to be tough.
"So i, uh, i was just wondering, you know, if there was any chance of us going out sometime, even to watch a movie if you want, i just really like you and"... You were cut. Speaking as fast as you could, trying to be brave, you didn't realize he shut your mouth with a kiss.
When he let go of you, leaving you speechless he only smiled at you "You're so cute when you're nervous. I'll pick you up at seven, how about that? You can come to my house to watch these movies i got."
"I'd love that!" You said in a state of haze. Looking at him passionately
"Then it's a date. I'll see you sweetheart" and he drove away.
You stood out there, watching him leave, touching your lips to make sure it wasn't a dream.
"I told you, you had a shot" Robin came to you putting her arms around your shoulders .
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legend-the-dumb-jock · 3 months ago
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“Come on bro! It won’t be for long ! What do you say!?” Erik had been pestering Jake for a while now. Always with the same question. He a big beefy man. Muscular but he didn’t care about the slim and trim look. Indulging in life’s pleasures he has a massive tank of a gut. Jake on the other hand was very different. Working out. Eating healthy. And Jake was tired of his friend constantly pleading with him. “Fine. But not for long ! Ok!?” Erik’s eyes lit up with anticipation. “Deal! I can’t wait ! This is going to be so fun! Plus I only wanted to know what it would be like to be in your body for a little bit. And you gotta admit. I’m sure you wanna see what this is like…” he said as he patted his gut. And Jake couldn’t deny it…he did want to see what it was like.
Erik hand him a piece of paper and drew a ritual circle. Barry big enough to the two of them. Then Erik turned to him “ok start chanting with me !” And the te began. Reading the chant and then soon saying the chant to each other. Over and over…. “We ask you switch our bodies, make it be!” And a bright light appeared engulfing the whole room.
Jake felt heavy for the first time. Heavy and grounded. When the light dissipated he looked down and seen nothing but the hairy bulking body of Erik. As body he was now in. “Wow this is awesome bro!” Erik yelled. “I feel like I can do anything!” He jumped up and down without issue. Jake could feel sweat beading down his back and chest. “Bro why are you sweaty ! Is it like this all the time!?” Jame asked. Erik laughed “yeah just about the entire day. You’ll want to cope with it though.” Jake walked to the couch to sit and felt like he would get out of breath. “Well. It’s only for a little while. A week tops. Ok?” He said to Erik who was flexing and acting goofy. “Yeah yeah a week. Oh! And don’t forget. While you’re in my body you need to keep my routine up.” He said as he handed James a large protein shake made with extra heavy cream. “And I’ll do the same for you!”
—————————
After that first day the two best friends parted. Jake stayed in Erik’s apartment and vice versa. The first day was a struggle for Jake. Getting used to the bulking form Erik had. Taking up a lot more space than he was used to. Floor boards creaked under his weight and when he sat down on his couch he had to heavy himself off. And almost as if on clocked work he would get the text telling him “don’t forget to drink the shakes bro! Gotta keep my body perfect”
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Jake had even developed a taste for the shakes. At first he had to make himself drink them. But now he couldn’t get enough. He would find himself in the kitchen late at night having multiple shakes.
He would message Erik about day to day tasks and Erik would just support him.
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“Hey big guy look at how awesome I’m keeping your body looking” Jake would see. Erik was really enjoying himself in his body. Jake would look at the pictures he would get and rub his hairy hard gut and he found that sometimes he would even get hard looking at them. He couldn’t wait to be back in his body.
—————————-
Jake walked into his apartment and braced himself on the wall. “Bro. You didn’t tell me the elevator was out! I just had to walk up 7 flights of steps!” He was breathing heavy. The massive gut expanding with each breath. Sweat was dripping from his body staining the shirt he was wearing. “Oh yeah bro sorry about that I just got carried away!” Erik said as he was finishing up a set of crunches. Jake couldn’t help but love looking at his body. So fit and muscular. “Wow big guy! Look at you! Did you make my body gain weight!?” He jumped to his feet, walked to Jake and poked at his exposed naval. “Hey I couldn’t help it those shakes are so good. I’ve already had one today !!” Erik just laughed and said “well good. I’m glad you enjoy them.” Erik took Jake to the kitchen table and showed him the pizzas and wings he got for them “don’t worry Jake. This is for you. I’m on a strict diet right now so only rice and chicken for me”. Jake began eating and was in love with all the flavors he was tasting.
“Ok Jake. So to get this swap to work, we need to be naked. And we will need to say this” he handed the paper to Jake. Erik smiled at him. When he was done eating they both stood on the living room. In the circle. “Erik this circle seems smaller now” Jake said and Erik just giggled “hey big guy, it’s not my fault if you managed to pack on a few pounds”. Jake blushed. He knew Erik was right. But all the more reason to get this swap over with. Jake was so sweaty I this body. And even though he just ate he could already feel himself getting hungry again.
The two men began to chant. Jake the. Realized that Erik was just staring at him so he stopped. “Bro what gives ? Come on”. Erik put his hand on the abs he adorned and looked down. Then back at Jake. “Jake. I like having abs and all this extra energy…. Is there anything you like about my body?” He was serious. He wanted to stop the ritual for this. “I mean. It’s definitely not the muscular one I am used to.” Looking down and rubbing his hairy gut “and this….this is definitely a lot to handle”. Erik was rubbing his hands up and down the abs on Jake’s body. And Jake began to get hard. “I see you like this Jake. Me playing with this body.” He began to pinch his nipples as his own cock began to get hard. “How much do you like this ?” Jake couldn’t help was watch. His own dick getting watching his body play with itself under Jake’s control. “Come on Jake. Give your own cock a good suck before we swap.” Jake dropped to his knees as if on command. The floor boards creaking under his giant weight. Erik put his dick in his old mouth and began to face fuck Jake. “Yeah Jake. You like this don’t you. Sucking your own cock. You love it don’t you. I love it!” Jake began to scream. He pulled out and started rubbing his hand up and down the shaft. “Go on Jake. Tell me how much you like that body you’re in”. And Jake found himself saying stuff he never thought he would. “I love the intense appetite. I love all this hair and sweat. I love being so massive that it makes me struggle to do stuff. I love getting out breath. I love this body Erik!” All the while Erik was rubbing his cock. And then when Jake finished talking Erik slammed his cock back in his mouth. “Yeah you do. You love being that body don’t you! You love being me !” He held Jake’s head to his cock as he shot loads down his throat. Making him swallow. The. Erik began to chant. Holding Jake’s head on his hard cock. Choking him. Preventing him speaking. Jake tried to pulled away but he couldn’t. He was stuck! All while Jake chanted a speak that sealed them in each others bodies.
“There Jake. Now you can love being in my body for the rest of your life and I’ll enjoy this one.” Jake tried to protest but Erik wouldn’t hear it. “You love the body so much Jake. You’re stuck in it now!”
Jake was left in a hairy sweaty mess on the living room floor while Erik turned on the tv. Grabbed some chicken and rice and just watching him. Opening his legs he said “come on ERIK come suck !” And defeatedly. The new Erik did as he was told.
————
Inspired by story https://www.tumblr.com/legend-the-dumb-jock/765534590247026688
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ellastone-olsen · 1 year ago
Note
Can you write a one shot w top reader and squirter bottom natasha. It’s okay if you can’t
Damn you’re weak - Natasha Romanoff
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DO NOT COPY ANY OF MY WORKS. MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x f!reader
Summary: it’s just porn without plot guys
Warnings: NSFW, bottom!Nat, top!reader, strap on, overstimulation, squirt, praise kink
Word count: 0.8k
AN: sorry if you're waiting a long time for your requests, I've been feeling too anxious lately
DISCLAIMER: ENGLISH ISN'T MY FIRST LANGUAGE SORRY FOR GRAMMAR OR SPELLING MISTAKES
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"What's wrong? The big bad black widow can't handle it? Too sensitive?" Natasha whined beneath you, trying to close her legs after you brought her to orgasm twice with your tongue. The woman looked so beautiful at this moment, her whole body was shining with your pink bites, her cheeks were flushed red, hair was scattered in complete disarray on the pillows under her. The room was stuffy and smelled of sex, bed was hopelessly ruined, sheet under the redhead was wet and blanket was lying somewhere on the floor.
"Look at the mess you made, what a good girl. Does someone like you like to be fucked dumb?" You leaned down to reach her lips, your knee squeezing between her legs, encouraging her to grind you. Your hands stroked her soft breasts, moved to her sides, squeezing lightly, and then grabbed her ass, moving it closer. The redhead gasped into the crook of your neck, “Too much, too sensitive please I can’t take it.” You stroked her hair soothingly, “Hush hush you can take it and even more like the good girl that you are.”
One soft kiss on the lips before you get up to open cabinet and take out your favorite strap. The woman watches in horror as you tighten the belts around your waist and move back towards her. "Come on baby, one last time, please me." You bite and kiss her sensitive spot on her neck and Natasha feels the faux cock pressing against her. Your hands flip her onto her stomach and lift her ass high in the air, giving you a perfect view of her gaping hole and wet, plump folds.
You tease her entrance with the tip of the cock sometimes grazing her clit, watching her clench around nothing. The redhead wiggles her hips towards you and you laugh. “What is it, you’re not so sure anymore?” You spit on your hand, spread saliva on the strap instead of lube. “Please, please, Y/N fuck me dumb I ne...” She doesn’t formulate phrase when you push the thick tip into her, causing Natasha’s mouth to open in a silent scream. The woman’s hands clutch the sheets as if they’re about to tear it when you start pounding on her. “Oh Fuck Y/N God!” She screams, her soft wet walls clenching tighter around you as your hand tangles in her hair and turns her head to the side, pinning her to the pillows. Your hips hit her ass with loud sounds every time.
"That's it Natty, such a good girl for me. If you could see how well you take my cock, God." The hand goes down on her ass, spanking it several times until it turns red. Moans and small sobs come out of Natasha’s mouth and you stroke the reddened skin soothingly. "Come on, you should look at this."
You pull out of her to lie on the soft bed on your back and use your hands to guide Natasha to sit on you. You help her lower herself onto your dick until she takes it all to the base, touching your belly with her thighs.
Her eyes are closed and she breathes deeply, her hands grabbing your shoulders. “Natty open your eyes and see how your cunt was made for my strap.” She lowers her head and her red hair falls into face. "Ride me and don't you dare look away."
Her hips begin to move and you help her by grabbing her waist to guide her. Natasha watches how your cock disappears inside her with every movement, how the moisture flows down to the base and onto your stomach. “Y/N I can’t...I need to cum.” Of course, after Natasha was such an obedient sweet little thing, you give her what she wants, starting to trace circles on her clit with your thumb and rocking your hips, thrusting into her harder. “Oh fuck Y/N fuck fuck fuck.” Her nails dig into your shoulders leaving red marks as her hips shake for the last time as they sunk onto your cock and a hot wave of orgasm covers her that Natasha sees stars. The redhead doesn’t notice how much moisture there is between your bodies, while she squirts all over the strap, falling on you from the new sensations. Her screams of pleasure sunk into the crook of your neck as you stroke her hair, fucking her through her orgasm.
You smile at the state you brought the woman to and no hurry to separate your bodies, allowing Natasha to be on you as long as she needs. “Oh shit baby, I’m sorry.” Natasha notices what a mess she made. “I’ve never...this has never happened before..I.” You take her face in your hands and kiss her softly, rubbing her cheekbone with the pad of your thumb. “Hush my love, everything is fine, you did so good baby.”
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darknight3904 · 2 months ago
Text
All Too Well
Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
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Summary: After meeting Joel one late night at a bar you launch into a whirlwind romance with him. But, between a nasty breakup and the end of the world, you're left with nothing but your thoughts of the past and the way they haunt you all too well.
Warnings: 18+ Mature themes including: language, loss of virginity sexual references, SA (Not by Joel), Animal death, starvation.
Based on the song by Taylor Swift.
Word Count: 6.5k
Series Masterlist / Main Masterlist
Winter 2023
Jackson was a town that was almost too good to be true. You had stumbled upon it nearly 7 years ago after fleeing in the middle of the night from a band of men that had captured you. Your sanctuary was just getting started then, but the group that was working there, welcomed you with open arms and as many supplies as they could spare.
It was your own little slice of paradise in this post-apocalyptic world you were stuck in. Away from FEDRA's iron fist and the horrors that evil people inflicted on others, most days you felt like you were living the life you used to back in 2003.
Of course, some things were different now. The TV in the corner of your living room was useless and most of your meals were communal in the mess hall. But, you loved it all anyway, glad to be away from the harsh world that lay outside the walls.
Even when you were assigned to clean out the horse stables, you loved your community. Jackson was your perfect little universe, undisturbed by the past and-
"Oh, shit...Joel?"
May 2003
College finals were the two scariest words one could say to you right now. Luckily for you, you had managed to somehow pass all of them this semester. Yes, you had somehow even managed an 80 on your biology exam, you still weren't quite sure how that happened. Maybe those 3am nights poured over your books did something.
"We should celebrate tonight." Your friend, Amelia suggested from her spot on the couch
"I was thinking about ordering a pizza." You sigh as you try to work out in your mind how much you have in your bank account. Perhaps you even had enough for some wings too.
"Not like that." She scoffs, " I meant we dress up real slutty and hit some bars. Get some guys to buy us drinks."
"I wanted to watch a movie tonight though." You sigh, thinking of the Blockbuster down the road. The second X-Men movie had come out a few weeks ago and you were dying to see Hugh Jackman on your screen again.
"You can spend the rest of your life as a grandma watching movies. You're only hot once." Amelia laughs
"But-"
"No buts. Your tits are gonna be at your waist one day and you'll thank me for this." Amelia declares before skipping off to her room, mumbling about which top she'd wear.
You sigh as you watch her door close. Amelia Caddel hadn't been your first choice for sharing an off campus apartment. Afterall, she was the opposite of you in so many ways. But, Miss Life of the Party had a steady deposit of allowance in her account from mommy and daddy, meaning she never missed rent, an important factor in a roomate.
"Guess you're spending the night alone." You sigh, looking down at your cat, Loki who purred, clearly wanting a treat or perhaps another heaping bowl of kibble.
Amelia fussed with your hair as the two of you entered your first bar.
"How're you going to pick up a guy if he can't even see your eyes?" She laughs
The stuffy air and the loud music, followed by a group of frat boys cheering for someone, reminded you why you never went out.
You watched with a sigh as she sought out the closest mid twenties guy she could wrestle a few drinks out of. You trailed behind, fidgeting with the skimpy black mini dress she had coaxed you into.
You'd have to hand it to Amelia, you certainly looked hot in it.
The feel of a stranger bumping into you and the sharp scent of aftershave filled your nose, and then big hands were wrapping around your waist, keeping you from stumbling.
"Shit sorry, hon." His Texan accent sent a small shiver down your spine.
"It's fine." You mumble, jumping away from the stranger's arms.
"Tommy, let's go! Quit flirtin' with the college girls!"
The man, Tommy, mumbles another apology to you before disappearing further into the bar, in search of whoever called for him.
Joel watched as his younger brother "accidentally" bumped into some silly college girl who seemed out of her element. Joel couldn't lie, it was something his brain might've come up with if he wasn't so damn tired from today's work. When was laying concrete going to get easier?
The younger Miller brother, who hadn't succumbed to back pain just yet, whispered some false apology in the girl's ears as she jumped away from him.
Joel called for him, he couldn't let Tommy terrorize some poor twenty-something girl who looked like a deer in the headlights under his brother's gaze.
"You're getting too old to be after college kids." Joel chastizes as he sits beside Tommy at the bar.
"Oh c'mon." Tommy scoffs as he orders a beer for himself and Joel.
"You're thirty, you're not some mid-twenties loser anymore." Joel points out.
"You're no fun, Joel," Tommy says with a roll of his eyes
Joel wanted to go home. He'd wanted to go home hours ago but Tommy had dragged him out after they finally finished working on their latest project, the new local Subway was nicely constructed by the Miller brothers.
Yet, here he sat, a few hours later, Two and a half beers deep, listening to Tommy try his hand at karaoke. Joel was pretty sure his ears were bleeding as his eyes scanned the bar. Most of the patrons were so drunk, they cheered Tommy on.
Joel found his eyes settling on the girl Tommy had "bumped" into earlier. She was still alone, sat across the room at a high-top table, sipping at some fruity drink. Pretty red heels were linked on the footrest of the barstool and Joel watched as she fumbled with her purse, looking for something with a deep frown across her pretty features.
If Joel didn't have a 13-year-old waiting on him back home, he might have slipped across the bar and sweet talked his way into this girl's arms. But the thought of Sarah back home, watching TV with Mrs. Addler had his ass glued to his barstool.
Instead, he observes as you finally find your phone and make a call. He watches as your features droop in disappointment as you yell over Tommy's singing to whoever was on the other end. Joel watched with a bit of amusement as you nearly fell off the stool when you went to stand up, you must've forgotten you linked those heels onto the footrest.
Joel let out a grumble of disappointment as Tommy launched into the beginning of Don't Stop Believin' by Journey. Why had he been given the world's most annoying little brother?
Joel's eyes turn back to the mystery girl and her delicate red heels just as some frat guy from Alpha Delta- who fuckin' cares, slings an arm around her waist, hand dipping too close to the hem of her skirt for Joel to be comfortable with.
As if he's on autopilot, Joel finds himself crossing the bar in long strides, ready to put a stop to whatever might come next.
"I don't see your friend now." The guy laughs as you shift your weight from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable.
Joel hears you mumble something about wanting to go home.
"I'll give you a ride."
The guy's sleazy tone has Joel cringing as he approaches. DId anyone teach these kids manners?
"Why don't you give the lady some space?" Joel suggests boldy
Alpha-Delta-Chad turns around to meet Joel's gaze, not releasing you just yet as he scoffs,
"Who the fuck are you? Her dad?"
"Just a concerned stranger." Joel nods to you in greeting, "She doesn't seem too comfortable with you, kid. Give her some room."
"How would you even know old man?" The boy asks, "You're like forty!"
Ouch. Joel was 35. Did he really look 40? Already?
"Let her go," Joel says, his voice deepening a bit
The frat boy's eyes scan Joel's figure. Either he decides you're not worth it, or that he'd lose the fight because before Joel knows it he's letting you go and murmuring another curse at Joel.
"Thank you." You breathe a sigh of relief, and a small smile graces your pretty face as Joel nods.
"You're welcome, sweetheart."
The name slips out of Joel's mouth before he can stop it and he watches in amusement as you blink away in embarrassment.
Your eyes roam across his frame and Joel can't quite place the look on your face as you...size him up?
"Could you um...walk me to the bus stop? I'd go myself but I'm worried that guy might be waiting for me outside." You ask
Joel wants to say no. He wants to stay tucked away in the bar, sipping his beer, and hope Tommy accidentally swallows the microphone he's singing into. Yet, one look into your sad, and definitely drunk eyes has him folding.
"Sure, I'll walk ya."
A warm breeze blows through the air as your savior is beside you at the bus stop. He'd insisted on waiting beside you until the bus showed up, saying something about having a daughter back home and it not being right to leave you alone out here.
"So...what's your name?" You ask, your drunk mind disliked silences.
"Joel. Joel Miller." He says, "You?"
You softly say your name, shy under his gaze.
Maybe its the three margaritas but the man next to you is hot. Short brown curly hair with dark eyes to match. Not to mention the splatter of facial hair and mustache he seemed to pull off so effortlessly. He was definitely much older than you, at least over ten years your senior. But, he was attractive in the ways all the college boys in your classes weren't.
Your eyes raked over tanned arms, toned perfectly from whatever he did to get them. You could tell he was sporting a handsome dad bod under the plain blue t-shirt on his frame. You'd never been one for a rippling six-pack, a man who'd eat pizza and ice cream with you was always going to be attractive than one who spent his days drinking protein shakes and eating eggs for "gains". Joel seemed like a guy who'd be into a binge-watch of every Star Wars movie and indulge with you in an impulsive 2am Domino's order.
"Where the hell is this bus at?"
His deep voice had you snapping from your drunken daydream of pizza and dad bods.
"Oh um..."
You're not quite sure where the bus is. Hopefully, it'd show soon. Your legs felt like a newborn deer's, no way would you be able to walk the seven and a half miles back to your apartment like this.
"Joel!"
Another voice has you and your new companion turning your heads. Another man, somehow a bit familiar in your drunk brain is approaching.
"What're you doin' man? You missed my singing."
"I heard enough." Joel huffs in annoyance
Oh, so this was the guy who was badly singing to Brittney Spears and Journey. He looked a bit more familiar though...this was the dude that had bumped into your earlier!
"Now if I'm too old to be goin' after college girls, then you're definitely too old, brother."
"I'm not...Not goin' after anyone. I'm waiting for the bus with her. Some creep was hitting on her at the bar, I'm keeping her safe." Joel groans at this man's comment.
So he wasn't interested? You felt your heart sink a bit. Of course, he wasn't interested. He had a kid for crying out loud.
Oh god, what if he had a wife? Were you daydreaming about a married man?
Your eyes jump to his left hand.
Ringless.
Well, at least you weren't fantasizing about being a homewrecker.
"The bus? It's past midnight. The bus stops running at 11:30." The new guy says, looking at his watch.
"Oh...um. I'll just go then." You say, standing up on unsteady legs. Looks like you're walking. You didn't have the money for a cab, so your legs were just going to have to tough this one out.
"Go? Go where?" Joel's friend scoffs
You ignore him, he's so weird.
"Tommy, stop it." Joel scolds
He sounds like such a dad as you laugh to yourself while smoothing your dress out.
"Do you want us to give you a ride?" Joel asks, standing up next to you
"No, I can manage the walk." You brush him off, trying to ignore the way he's so tall all of a sudden.
You were even wearing heels and he was bigger than you!
"I can call a cab," Joel suggests, watching the way your ankle nearly twists when you take a step.
"I don't have any money for one." You whimper, as the pain in your ankle shoots up your leg.
Fuck these heels. Fuck Amelia for ditching you for another bar. Fuck Joel had his stupid dad bod and tanned skin. Fuck the stupidly attractive mustache on his stupidly attractive face.
This always happened when you were drunk. First, your legs turned into literal Jello and then you'd get all weepy about nothing. At least you'd have seven miles to cry your eyes out. Hopefully, Loki would let you hold him when you got home.
"Let me give you a ride. Do you live on campus?" Joel asks his eyes widening at the tears that dribble down your face.
"I'm just gonna walk." You mumble and bush past him, forcing your legs into an unsteady match.
"That's like...an 8-mile walk," Tommy says from behind you, estimating the distance between here and the college.
"Actually seven and a half." You sass, not interested in his comments or his stupid aftershave that invaded your nose as you walked past him.
You're not entirely sure how you ended up here, in the back seat of a pick up truck while Joel drove you home. You mumbled your address to him and he'd somehow known immediately where you were living.
Hopefully, you weren't going to end up dead in a ditch tonight.
Joel watched as you rested your head against the window. He'd walked you to his truck after you got a few feet away from him before sitting down on the curb, tears running down your pretty face, mumbling something about a cat.
"Fuckin' college girls." Tommy had mumbled as he helped Joel buckle you into your seat
"Let's just get her home," Joel said
"Yeah before she turns the waterworks back on." Tommy sighed
Joel drives towards the shitty apartments they rent to college kids. Two blocks away he had once been working in a fancy new condo building, putting up drywall and laying flooring. There'd been talk about developing your area as well, but six months later the apartments of Oliver Avenue were still as shitty as ever.
Joel guaranteed you were getting ripped off by your landlord. Probably paying too much for someplace that had thin walls and bad heating. Sure enough, he was right, as he parked his trunk in front of a building that badly needed a makeover.
"Stay here." He tells Tommy who seems to be a few moments away from falling asleep in the passenger seat.
Joel pulls you from the backseat, shoving Sarah's soccer ball back under the seat when it rolls out and tries to escape.
"Alright, what floor?" Joel asks as you stand beside him, tears finally dried up.
You wordlessly begin to plod your way up the steps and murmur what sounds like a five to him.
Joel makes sure you get your door open and watches as a black cat greets you as you push the door open.
"Hi, baby." You coo at the cat, scooping him up. "Did you miss me?"
Joel feels his heart speed up as you sweet-talk your pet. He tries to banish the idea of you talking to him like that, carding your hands through his hair, rather than this little black cat with a green collar and golden bell around his neck.
"Thank you, Joel." You say as you spin around to face him
"No problem." He hums, "Glad I was able to help."
You smile at him as your damn cat meows loudly, breaking the trance you had on him.
"Goodnight, sweetheart."
"Goodnight, Joel."
July 2003
The fourth of July was serious business in Austin. From mega barbeques to fireworks that put Magic Kingdom to shame, your sleepy little college town was transformed for America's birthday.
A much-needed breeze flows through the park as you sit on the blanket you'd found shoved at the back of your closet. Summer was brutal this year, and you were sure that the Texas heat wasn't making the wait for fireworks any easier.
Your parents had invited you back home to Pittsburgh this summer. But, you found yourself more interested in staying put in Austin. Your sleepy suburb town back home would always be there, no sense in spending your summer cooped up in your childhood room. At least here you could go out whenever you wanted.
"Dad, let's go! All the good spots are going to be taken!!"
A young girl's voice drifts across the park as you turn to watch her pull what must be her father along.
"Hold on, Sarah! You're gonna make me drop all this."
"Move faster then!"
Well, shit.
Joel Miller, the savior of drunk college girls, was here in the park, walking towards you.
Your eyes widen as you take him in. At least you know it wasn't just the alcohol talking, Joel Miller was just as devastatingly good-looking now as he was a month and a half ago when he drove you home from the bar.
"H-Hi." You awkwardly stammer as he passes by you, arms full with a small cooler and a big blanket.
"Hello." He says, quickly
The double take he does is almost comical as he looks at you.
"Sarah!" He calls after the girl, "Come back here!"
"Didn't think I'd ever see you again." You smile, standing up from your own spot
"Well, I do live around here." He says with a lopsided smile that makes him look a bit more boyish.
The girl, Sarah, returns to her father's side.
"Hi." She says a bit flatly, clearly annoyed her father has stopped his march across the park to what she had deemed the perfect spot.
"Hello." You greeted her, with a soft smile.
She was so cute, with dark curly hair and black shorts paired with a pretty green and blue t-shirt. Sparkly sandals caught your eye as she stepped a bit closer to Joel, looking up at him for an explanation.
Joel introduces you to her, "I helped her out a month ago, got her home safe."
You're beyond elated he's standing in front of you again. For a little bit you swore he was a hallucination you'd dreamt up in a drunken haze. A handsome Texan man who'd driven you home safely after rescuing you from some sleaze. Amelia had scolded you for hours when she found out you hadn't gotten his number.
"Super safe." You smile at him.
Joel feels a nervous sweat break out on his forehead. Here he was with his daughter ready to watch their fireworks like they always did each year and he was flirting with a girl like he was 17 again. He'd be lying if you weren't on his mind regularly. The way you'd been dressed that night haunted him at night as he lay in bed, your sweet voice filled his ears as he went about his days. He'd wondered if you only used that tone for your cat.
"You two want to sit with me? I'm not sure if these are the best seats in the house but I do have some popcorn I can share..." You trail off, giving a smile to Sarah who enthusiastically agrees at the idea of free food.
Joel settles next to you as Sarah talks your ears off about soccer practices and the pool party Joel took her to a few weeks ago. He watches as you listen intently to his daughter's words. So rarely does a woman he's interested in take time to talk to Sarah. Yet, here you were, in college and interacting with his daughter better than most grown women did.
"So how old are you?"
Joel nudges Sarah with his shoe, doesn't she know that's a rude question? He could've sworn he taught her better.
"I'm 23. 24 this August." You say
"Wow," Sarah says
You turn away for a moment, reaching for the bag of popcorn that sits behind you. Joel's eyes widen as he watches Sarah silently mouth to him,
"She's so old!"
If you were old, did that mean he was ancient? God, how old did his daughter view him as? He could've sworn 35 wasn't that bad. Maybe it was though...
"So, 23. You're graduating soon then, yeah?" Joel asked
"I wish." You sigh, "I took a gap year after high school, and then just couldn't find the right major for a bit. I'm technically on track to become a Physician Assistant but I dunno if it's right for me."
Joel nods, he knows the feeling, not knowing if what you're doing is right. He'd felt that way when Sarah was born, and then when her mother left them, and then every time Sarah was hurt or crying, or just not perfectly happy, Joel felt that way, unsure of himself.
"You'd make a great PA, Sweetheart." Joel genuinely says, placing a hand over yours
"Thanks." You say a bit flustered at the physical contact.
"Gross," Sarah comments at what's unfolding before her eyes.
"You're gross." Joel counters, not missing a beat to tease her.
Sarah sticks her tongue out at him in retaliation, and Joel does the same.
You spend the rest of your summer with the Millers. In between public pool trips, and catching fireflies in the backyard, you somehow end up entangled with Joel. Staying up on the couch beside him, watching movie after movie when Sarah drifted off into dreamland up in her bed.
Before you know it, Joel is picking you up for dates and meeting you at coffee shops to let you talk his ears off about whatever book you've picked up for the week.
You let Joel take your virginity on a humid August night. After sending Sarah off to her friend's house you let him pull you into his room and under the sheets.
Breathless and sweaty you rest your head on his chest.
"You okay?" Joel asks quietly, running a hand up and down your back
"Mmhm." You sigh dreamily
"Didn't hurt you or nothin'?" He asks
"I'm okay, Joel." You laugh
"Just checking." He mumbles
Joel looks a bit out of place as he sits on your couch. Sarah had a week of soccer camp and the two of you decided to spend it together. Loki jumps up on the cushion beside Joel and lets out a loud meow.
"Pet him." You suggest with a shrug
"He doesn't even like me." Joel huffs staring into your cats eyes
"You nearly sat on him the first time you were here." You remind Joel of his previous crime from a week ago.
"I thought he was a throw pillow." Joel defends himself, motioning to the many pillows you and Amelia had scattered around the apartment.
"You thought I had a green-eyed pillow that meowed?"
"I dunno what you women are into, you're all so confusing."
You let out a scoff before plopping down on the couch next to him, Loki climbing into your lap and purring as you scratch behind his ears.
"The only confusing one here is you, Joel Miller."
Tommy isn't as bad as you thought he was.
Scratch that, he's fantastic, pulling out old photos of Joel from over the years. You nearly piss yourself though when he whips out an old family album. A nine-year-old Joel stares back at you as you look at an old photo of him playing tee-ball.
"Look how cute you were!" You gasp as you run your fingers across the photograph
"Joel Miller, star tee-ball player!" Tommy teases his big brother.
You smile as you watch Joel's face turn red as you take in even more photographs of him as a kid, you even see his 10th-grade photo, yes the one where he has braces and the worst case of acne known to mankind.
By the time the Texas heat begins to ease off and the leaves begin to change colors, you're head over heels in love with Joel Miller. From the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles, to the way he'd dance with you in the dead of the night while the refrigerator door hung open, the light reflecting off your bodies as you laughed in his arms.
Three months, such a short time, and yet so much had happened. You tried to focus on the Anatomy lesson your professor was talking about in front of you yet you found your mind occupied with something else. It was as if you had been possessed, nothing but Joel filled your mind as you scribbled your notes onto your notebook. Anatomy class be damned, you were going to go mad thinking of him like this.
Your birthday, August 29th rolled around faster than you thought it would. You hadn't seen Joel all week. Between your classes, Sarah's soccer and school, and Joel's contracting, you had only time to talk to him briefly on the phone.
You had reached out to Joel earlier today to invite him to a small birthday party Amelia had insisted on. Nothing special, just some pizza and cupcakes, a cheap beer or two.
But now, it was going on 10:30 and Joel was nothing but a whisper in the wind. Sadness weighed on your chest as you watched the front door, hoping for a knock that would signal his arrival.
"Hey...I think we should just go to bed..."Amelia suggests softly from her spot next to you.
"No, he's coming." You mumble sadly tears tickling your waterline,
You stare at the last cupcake that sits on the coffee table. It was meant to be for Joel. You had scooped it out of the box thinking about how nice the icing looked on it. You had wanted him to have the best one in the box, even if that meant your own was a little lopsided and missing sprinkles.
Amelia pulls you into her side, letting you rest your head on her shoulder. She gently wraps her arm around you and quietly says,
"It's supposed to be fun, turning 24..."
September 2003
Three days pass before you hear from Joel again. His voice on the other end of the phone call is paralyzing as your world comes crashing down. The phone beeps as the call ends and you stand at your kitchen counter in shock, shocked that he's ending it all like this, with a phone call.
"If we had been closer in age, maybe it would've been fine."
His words bounce around in your mind as you slam your phone down on the counter. Loki jumps from his spot on the windowsill meowing as you cross the room quickly.
You pulled your covers over your head, blocking out the world as you heard Amelia return from her ethics class.
"If we had been closer in age, maybe it would've been fine."
God, that made you want to die. What did he even think of you? That you were some wide-eyed college kid who just existed in limbo for him?
You spend the next week in bed, plagued with tears and anger as you curse Joel out at least 1000 times a day. The knock at your door and Amelia entering your room with a box has you startled.
"What's this?" You sniff
"UPS guy just left it at our front door." She says before setting it on the bed and leaving you again.
You cut the box open and find your things inside it. Little things you'd left at Joel's over the summer. Hair ties, a brush, deodorant, t-shirts, and sweaters, even a photograph of you, Sarah, and him at the aquarium is nestled between the pages of a book you kept on his nightstand to read to him before the two of you dozed off. The box holds your entire relationship as you dump it out on your bed.
The scent of Joel, masculine and inviting clings to your belongings just like the way it clings to your heart.
Your hands shift through the items again, the scarf you wore to Tommy's house is missing. You had left it there and Joel had promised to return it to you.
"Who wears a scarf in Texas?" Joel snorts
"I do! And you better give it back, Miller." You groan
"I'll get it to you, sweetheart. Don't worry about it."
You wonder what has become of your scarf now. Perhaps it's sitting in a drawer in his room, nestled among his belongings, looking horribly out of place. Or maybe it's stuck in his truck, shoved under the seats under the pretense that it would make its way back to you one day.
You wonder what has become of Joel now. Perhaps he's lying in his own bed right now, thinking of you, your scarf wrapped around his hands, smelling of you and all his failures.
You wonder if this love affair bruised him the way it did you.
God, you had so many regrets.
December 2003
Cold air fills your lungs as your feet ache beneath you. Snow gently fell down as you sighed quietly. The walk into your hometown was no joke. The shitty beater car you'd stolen had died about 50 miles ago, leaving you vulnerable and scared.
Loki meowed from his crate as you quietly walked along. You shushed him and dropped a few treats behind the bars of the crate. He was going to need food soon if you intended to stay alive, your traveling companion wasn't known for holding his tongue when it came to hunger. The last thing you needed was to have an infected try to kill you because of your pet.
It had been nearly 5 days on the road now. and You'd managed to drive from Austin to Pittsburgh all on your own armed with a shotgun and a map you'd found in the glove compartment.
The past few months had been spent in Joel's basement. After things started going south outside your apartment building, you stuffed Loki into his carrier and filled a two big duffle bags with food and clothes for you and supplies for your cat before managing to somehow sneak into the parking deck and jump into your car. Amelia had never returned from her boyfriends house that night. You knew you couldn't go looking for her though, his home was nearly 25 miles away while Joel's was only 10.
It was mid-morning on September 27th when you reached Joel's place. The other neighborhood homes were empty and you nearly threw up at the sight of Mrs. Adler's mother lying face down on the driveway.
Your heart sinks when you discover Joel and Sarah are already gone. You hadn't expected them to be here yet, a part of you had hoped they'd be. It was Joel's birthday yesterday, you wondered how he'd spent his last normal day. Knowing him, he'd probably been at work all day.
You barricade the doors before slipping into the basement. Joel had spent time finishing it so it was nice for Sarah's sleepovers. You let Loki out before returning upstairs to bring down every nonperishable food item the home had to offer.
And so, there you sat with your cat, in your ex's basement, willing for him to magically appear and tell you everything was going to be okay.
March 2017
The Pittsburgh QZ was fucked. Royally fucked. The loud explosion from some truck filled your ears as you zipped your backpack shut. Loki let out a meow of protest as he disappeared in your bag. He was nearly 15 and his attitude about backpack travel wasn't improving.
You stick to the back alleys as you work towards finding an out. A decent-sized hole in a fence catches your eye and you take your chances, better than getting blown up by the Fireflies or FEDRA.
You're about 4 miles away from the carnage when a sizeable group catches your eye. They must've gotten out just like you.
A man, David, shares a can of flavorless chili with you and you sit on the ground beside him. But, the more you listen to him talk, you can't help but think he's a total nutcase. You thank him for the chili and the 8 cans of chicken noodle soup he's shared with you and decline his offer to join the group.
"We have so much to offer." He says in a soft voice, gesturing to the people scattered around eating and talking amongst themselves.
"I'll stick to just him, thanks though." You say petting Loki's head as you pull him from your backpack to place the cans of food inside.
"Suit yourself."
April 2017
You had dozed off. A rookie mistake to make in the apocalypse.
They had been on you before you knew what was happening. With nothing but a knife to your name to protect yourself, you were hopelessly outgunned.
"Look at what we have here." A deep voice booms, "A girl wondering in my woods, must be my lucky day."
A smelly man stands in front of you, and about 8 other men are circled around you. You squeeze your eyes shut as he lets a dirty finger trail over your face.
"How pretty."
A loud hiss cuts his next sentence. Loki, you brave boy, has climbed out of your backpack where he had been taking a nap. His back has hunched up and you don't miss the way his dark black fur is bristling in the low light of the sun disappearing behind the trees.
You aren't even able to try to arrange a deal for your baby as the man pulls a large knife from his belt and carelessly throws it at your cat.
A horrible screech from Loki fills your ears as the man coos at you and tells you it'll all be okay.
"We've got dinner boys!" The man who has killed your only friend in the whole world exclaims.
Your eyes slam shut as red blood begins to seep into the fabric of your backpack. The man says something about being a provider but you're too focused on choking back the tears that are forming in your eyes.
Hours later, you're tied to a tree stump, your arms behind your back. Your captors present you with a warm soup of sorts. Canned carrots and potatoes float in a clear broth but it's what sits in the center of the bowl that turns your stomach. What's left of your Loki is now being devoured by the men.
You can't do it. You had been starving, unable to catch anything for days. but you can't do it.
"Fine, don't eat." The leader and cat killer huffs as he runs his hands across your chest in an unpleasant matter, "You're going to wish you had though when we're done with you."
June 2017
The moon is your only light as you steal away into the night. Your heart is pounding but you can't or rather won't look back.
Your escape is credited to a man named Adam. He had always been softer to you than the rest. Less brutal than the others when he bent you over a tree stump and forced himself into your unwilling body, cooing in your ears about how good you felt even though you were dry.
Softer and easy to fool when you batted your eyelashes at him so he'd give you a second serving of the deer they'd killed. Gentle when he cleaned whatever wounds the others inflicted on you for their sick pleasure.
Tonight, you had used his softness against him. Crying and whimpering when he tied you to a tree, saying the restraints were too tight. He'd of course taken pity on you and loosened them before kissing your forehead and walking off to sleep.
It had been easy to slip out of the ropes thanks to Adam. You stole his backpack and stuffed it with as much deer jerky as you could get your hands on before snatching a gun off Adam's unknowing form.
Now, you were stumbling through the night, hoping to put as much distance between you and the men as possible.
Nearly three weeks had passed and you were still somehow free. The men hadn't found you and you were deep into the wilderness. Your freedom was something you had yearned for since the moment Loki had died. Yet, here you were, starving and wasting away because you couldn't kill anything to eat.
You drag your body into an old concrete building that was being used to control some form of dam. You rested your head on your backpack, thinking of how far you'd come.
Strangely though, you thought of your past. Fuzzy images of a college classroom came into your brain. Amelia's long blonde hair and the way she'd style it perfectly each day. Texas summers, filled with heat and perfectly seasoned barbeque.
What you wouldn't do for a big plate of ribs right now.
And then the curly hair of a little girl is dancing around your mind. Her warm laughter fills your mind as you think of Sarah Miller. With her sparkle filled sandals and her strange interest in gore filled horror films. You wondered if she was still out there somewhere. Perhaps stuck in some QZ with Joel.
Joel.
You think about Joel. You're sure you've thought of him more in the past three months than you did your whole relationship. Every night when one of your captors, or sometimes multiples had you every which way, you'd try to think about other things. Those other things often divulged into Joel and how gentle he'd been with you. Oh, how you missed his warm arms and soft southern twang. Hou you yearned for him even now. Your only real relationship experience was something you just couldn't let go.
When you were finally found by Maria, you were nearly ready for death. Brain filled with delusional thoughts of the past and starving, she had hoisted you up on her horse and rode off to Jackson, praying this mystery woman wouldn't die on the way there.
Winter 2023
You nearly fall over when his tired eyes meet yours. The loud voice of a young girl fills your ears.
"Do you two know each other?"
You push the stable door open to get a better look at the man who stands before you. For so many years you had pictured the man you dated for a few months, not trying to imagine the way the end of the world might've changed him. Your mind can't reconcile the Joel you once knew and the one before you.
For starters, he looks so tired. Graying curly hair sits atop his head, a salt and pepper beard adorns his face. Even his frame has changed, the winter coat he wears hides it but you can tell he's become riddled with muscle to take on the harsh outside world. The only thing that seems the same is his mustache, somehow untouched by time.
"Joel, wait up! There's something I gotta tell ya!"
Tommy's loud voice carries from wherever he is and you want to laugh at the younger Miller brother. Of course, he was going to try to intercept your meeting. Too bad he was too slow.
"Joel? Hello? Do you know her?" The girl asks again.
You glance at her, she can't be more than 14 or 15. Her pale skin is rosy against the cold Wyoming winter. She looks at you, probably for an answer since all Joel is doing is staring at you, most likely in shock.
Eventually, though, the man of the hour opens his mouth to speak,
"No, I don't know her."
This is my first time writing for Joel, hope you enjoyed :)
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@lunaticgurly @orcasoul
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srjlvr · 5 months ago
Text
,, 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT MY EX ’’
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JUST when you thought your life couldn’t get any worse after your biggest break up of the year, someone posted your (very) much hateful list about your ex.
PAIRING. Ex!jake X Ex-fem!Reader
GENRE. fluff(look at me putting this first in genre) , angst , exes to lovers.
WARNINGS. y/n is kind of a bitch towards jake ig, jake is a big big player, lots of miscommunications, also very much not proofread!! i shall add more if i missed something!
WORD-COUNT. 7.8k+
NOTE. there we go again with this story cover, im outta here, graphics and me are not friends UGH i gotta start paying for someone to actually do this for me smh. anyways!! everything here is FICTIONAL!! i do NOT see jake nor any of the characters like that in any way!! if you don’t like it—youre very welcomed to skip!!
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you thought you had your brightest future in your hands.
being an ace student, scoring A+ in all of your tests and winning the teacher’s favoritism, all of that while also being the most popular cheerleader of your school.
you’re literally living everyone’s dream, not only being a popular student, but also dating the most popular student who also happened to be your highschool’s basketball team leader, jake sim.
girls swoon for him, beg him to notice them, even go as far as to send him gifts that costs probably more than their own house, but no, his eyes search for one person and one person only, and that’d be you.
“i’m sorry, i can’t continue all of this”
“this? what do you mean—“
“i mean us, this relationship, i don’t think it’s going to work anymore”
“oh”
“that’s all you got to say?”
“do you expect me to cry and get on my knees, begging you to regret this?”
“what?”
“speechless now, are we? i’ve been waiting for this day”
denial was your best friend, and you might’ve realized it a bit too late.
you were hurt, fuck you wanted to break down and cry. but he doesn’t deserve to see that.
you ignored so many red flags in your relationship, you were lovesick and pathetic, all for him, it broke you apart. but you do not want to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry.
“y/n…”
“i don’t want to hear it jake, i’m actually glad you took this step”
you’re not glad at all, you do love him.
“i wish you the best” he said quietly and left.
this whole relationship felt like a mistake for the both of you, it was toxic, too toxic.
like those you see on TV shows where the popular girl and guy just date for fame and nothing more, yeah, just like that.
but you loved each other, you really did. communication was your biggest enemy, and that’s what lead to this whole toxic relationship mess.
“what a fucking asshole! it hasn’t even been a month and he’s already all over the girls! pathetic”
“yeji!”
your best friend rolled her eyes, “am i wrong? he was always a player”
you shook your head.
she wasn’t totally wrong, even before you started dating he used to hold a different girl in his hands every other day.
big player indeed.
you on the other hand, no matter how popular you were, you stayed reserved. many boys tried their luck, but it was no use.
though being reserved, you didn’t mind the looks the other boys gave you, and took every chance you had to show yourself off.
therefore it was so surprising to everyone that you and jake started dating.
the biggest player and the reserved popular girl, dating? this had to be a joke.
the truth is that jake had been keeping his eyes on you for long, and he knew that he has to hold you in his arms and show you that a player like him can actually love.
at first it took him time to break down your walls, but he did his best to assure you that he’ll never let anything bad happen to you.
that was….well, until he decided to break things off.
“yeah, he was, once a player, always a player” you agreed with her, glancing at jake and rolling your eyes when noticing that the girl he was flirting with is having too much fun.
“let’s just go, i’m tired of watching those clowns” you sighed and walked away.
“y/n! i’m sorry you had to witness….well—“
“it’s okay sunghoon, really”
before you and yeji could walk too far, sunghoon stopped you.
sunghoon is jake’s best friend, you and him weren’t the best at making conversation while you and jake were still together, but when you broke up, something changed between the two of you.
“don’t mind him, he can be a total asshole sometimes”
“sometimes?” yeji chuckled and sunghoon nervously scratched his nape.
“thank you sunghoon, i’m fine though” you gave him a weak smile and walked away.
“well if there’s one thing that’s good about jake is that his best friend is smoking hot and totally into you!!” yeji clapped her hands.
you rolled your eyes in disbelief, “yeji i don’t think you get it, he’s just being nice because he feels bad about his best friend acting like a dickhead”
“oh y/n, i can read face expressions, he’d definitely ask you out if only things weren’t so difficult”
“don’t push it!”
“that’s the ONLY good thing about jake though, i feel bad for that walking red flag, he’s so bad at keeping his relationships”
“i should make a list of things that i hate about him and send it to every girl in school so they’d know they need to run away from him!” you joked.
“i’d definitely help you, i’m sure as hell that it’ll make his ugly face vanish” she was joking as well.
you both were joking, you knew it very well.
so how the hell did you find yourself sitting in your room desk, writing a list about the things you hate about your ex?
“one, he’s smoking hot, his visuals can mess up your mind” you’re writing everything down as you’re saying them out loud.
complimenting him on your first point? way to go girl!
“two, he’s a big fat player, once your date is over he’s already probably running to find his next” you rolled your eyes to this one.
not even a month passed and he’s already flirting with others? what a loser!
“three, so full of himself! it actually hurts to see a person who loves himself so much he could probably die!”
that one time he wouldn’t stop talking about how many girls asked him out in one night? yickes!
“four, so toxic and possessive! don’t want you around any guy while he walks around and talks with any girl he sees”
when he got jealous that you spoke with your childhood friend about the most random thing ever? disgusting!
“five, puts milk before cereal, i don’t even need to explain!”
a walking red flag or what?
after finishing the rest five points you had to make, you decided to call it a night and drifted away to dreamland.
“psst”
“hm?”
“i know we were joking about the hateful list yesterday, but i actually made it”
“what?!”
you put your hand over yeji’s mouth and giggled.
“it just felt so good! i feel so relieved now! i don’t even want to post it, but it just felt so right to just let everything out”
“so proud of you, girl! finally let it go and move on!!” she pat your shoulder and then proceeded to hug you.
“where did you hide that list?” she raised her brow.
“i just brought it with me today, i put it in my locker and i’ll probably burn it by the end of the day, i just wanted to show it to you first before i do it”
“now that’s my girl!”
yeji is the bestest friend you could’ve ever asked for. she was always there for you.
ever since you were little you were stuck like a glue, you had each other’s backs and you were more than thankful to have her in your life.
“hey y/n! i was just wondering, do you perhaps have notes for the last maths class? i missed it because of practice and i’d really like some help” sunghoon showed up with a grin.
“sure, they’re in my locker, i’ll bring it to you” you nodded and he shook his head.
“i’ll come with you”
“oh? okay”
he followed you to your locker and waited for you to give him the notes.
“what’s in this paper?” he asked as he looked at the very cute designed paper.
“oh? that’s nothing really” you shrugged it off and quickly closed your locker, “bring them back to me when you finish”
“i will, thank you!” he said and walked away.
you opened your locker again to take out the paper, you sighed heavily and shoved it into your bag.
“six, he can’t keep his promises! if he’ll ever tell you he’ll play some video games with you, don’t believe it!!” yeji read it out loud and laughed.
you laughed with her, suddenly finding this list so funny.
“seven, his puppy eyes are definitely misleading! he’s a one manipulative bitch and he won’t be afraid to use his cute puppy eyes!” she rolled her eyes, “is that a good or a bad thing?”
“bad thing obviously! it’s literally written there that he’s manipulative!”
“girls love puppy eyes! you should know that!” she preached and you rolled your eyes.
you spent the rest of your lunch break giggling and laughing about this stupid list.
“i’m returning this to my locker, i’ll burn it after practice today” you told her and she nodded.
“i need proof of that, video call me when you do it!” she said and sent you off to practice.
arriving at the field, you found your friends and practice started.
“hey, y/n!” as you were packing everything in your bag and exiting the dressing room, sunghoon, who was already there waiting for you called you.
“hey, you” you grinned.
“will you let me do the honor and walk you home today?” he asked ever so nicely.
“sure!” you smiled and began to walk with him, completely forgetting about the paper you had to burn.
“i can’t believe you forgot the paper in your locker! what if someone steals it?” yeji complained over the phone right after you texted her that you forgot about it.
“yeji! no one knows it’s there except you! it’s not ‘to all the boys i’ve loved before’ story! you can calm down” you sighed.
you were right though, who knows this locker holds up something that can completely ruin not only yours but also your ex’s image?
“i guess i’m gonna let this slide today, but i’m going to burn this paper with you tomorrow!”
“hm”
“how was your walk with sunghoon~?” she teased.
“it was cool, he’s such a cute guy, surprised that he’s still single honestly”
“i think we both know why”
“i’m gonna go sleep!” you changed the subject and before she could ask any more questions you hang up.
the next day you found yourself yet again a victim to yeji’s new gossips while trying to take out a few things from your locker.
“so as i was saying—are you even listening to me?” she looked at you while you looked at the mirror that was hanged in your locker and applied your lipstick on.
“hm? oh yeah”
“you’re a lost case”
“we’re gonna burn this paper today! and then i will finally be able to feel free from this relationship” you smiled, explaining to her that it was the only thing on your mind.
“you’re damn right! this hate list about jake is going to be burnt today!!”
“this hate list about who?”
you jumped hearing someone else’s voice behind you.
“oh! yena, didn’t see you here” you chuckled nervously.
“just here to tell you that coach said there’ll be another practice today, i came here privately because, you know, you’re too busy in other things to care” oh she’s a one of a kind bitch.
you gave her a sarcastic smile, “i already know that, but thank you”
she returned the fake smile and walked away.
“that was so close!”
“you should be more careful, this girl is just looking for something that’ll bring you down” yeji whispered and you nodded, “i guess you’re right, at least she didn’t really hear all of this”
school ended and so did your practice, yeji leaned on the wall next to your locker as you searched for the paper.
“i could’ve sworn i put it right there!!”
“y/n think!! maybe you put it in your bag?”
you handed her your bag for her to search it.
“oh! i found it! it was between those notebooks” you giggled, “but i could’ve sworn i put it under all of my books”
“at least you found it” she sighed and put her hand over your shoulder.
“let’s burn this bitch!”
looking at the little fire you made with yeji made you feel excited and mostly happy.
you let all your thoughts together with this paper to burn.
your relationship was toxic, but this time was the most beautiful time in your life.
you and jake really did love each other.
one time you were sitting together in the library, trying to study the new material your teacher gave you.
“what are you up to?” he asked.
“studying, that’s why we’re in the library” you smiled.
“that’s so boring!” he pout. you giggled and pecked his lips, “you can be on your phone or something until i finish”
“no” he shook his head, “i want to do something with you”
“jake—“
“let’s go! i’m taking you on a date!” he grabbed your hands and dragged you out.
you spent the rest of your day together, sharing a few snacks and joking around.
it was the perfect kdrama couple everyone dreams of.
you ended up sleeping at jake’s house that day, and he made sure you knew how much he loves you.
“i can see our future together,” he smiled and held your hands, “me, a famous basketball player and you, my pretty partner”
you were sitting right across him on his bed and raised a brow, “oh? so i get to do nothing?”
“i’ll make sure to work hard so you could rest and never work for your entire life” he hugged you and pecked your cheek.
“remember that promise, i’ll use that against you in the future” you joked.
“that means…..you too see a future for us?”
“of course”
he put his hand on your cheek and moved you closer to him, he kissed you so deeply you could feel his love to you was sincere.
that small flashback of this romantic moment made you smile, you really do miss him.
but a dark memory came right away, not leaving any place for the sweet memories to stay,
“oh so i didn’t pay attention for you for once and now you’re giving fuck eyes to my best friend?” he yelled.
“you’re such an idiot sometimes! sunghoon was actually kind enough to apologize on your behalf! you were basically embarrassing me in front of everyone!”
“so now sunghoon’s the hero? go to him then!”
“why are you so stup—“
“i don’t want to hear your complains, y/n!”
“oh really?—“
“yes! go away!”
thinking about those moments reminded you why you’re still here looking at the hateful list you made about him.
he was toxic, possessive, and full on narcissistic, it was so hard to love him sometimes.
yeji came up to hug you when she noticed a few tears streamed down your face.
“let it go now, you already proved yourself you don’t need him” she smiled and you nodded.
“let’s go home”
the next day felt a lot better than the others, the sun was shining brightly, birds were singing, a big smile was smeared all over your face and most importantly, you felt free.
“morning, y/n!”
“morning yeji! lunch is on me today”
“i look up to you so much, my queen” she faked a bow and you giggled.
the day is going to be amazing, and so are the other days! you’re so sure of it.
you decided to keep up with jake’s game and even started flirting with other guys, not even minding if your ex was watching or not.
usually you would, but not now, or never again.
“what’s your fucking problem?”
while talking to some guy you don’t even remember the name of, jake grabbed your wrist and stopped the conversation.
“what do you mean—“
“i mean flirting with him, he’s supposed to practice—“
“you don’t return from break for the next ten minutes, i can talk with him in the meantime” you rolled your eyes.
“coach said—“
“don’t make up things now and don’t act like you care, we’re already over”
“y/n—“
“don’t play this game with me now jake, you can return to your fangirls and leave us alone” you scoffed and released his hold on your wrist.
he rolled his eyes in annoyance and walked away.
“did you see the way he looked at you? i bet you my whole money that he still loves you” yeji sounded as annoyed as he was.
“be ready to go bankrupt because there’s no chance”
“this asshole thinks you’re still in a relationship, he’s sooooo pathetic!”
“yeji, let’s stop talking about him” you groaned and she nodded.
you were in a really good mood today but he totally just ruined it.
the next few days went by so fast, you felt happier by each day that comes by, and nothing could ruin your mood.
that was until today’s morning.
as soon as you stepped your foot in the school’s hallway, people started gossiping.
“y/n! about point five, does he really put his milk before cereal? that’s disgusting!” a random student just popped up and asked you that question straightforwardly.
“huh?”
a few more students gathered around you and you couldn’t even understand a bit of what they were saying.
“excuse me! coming through!” yeji yelled and pushed everyone aside.
when she noticed you in the middle of the circle, she grabbed your hand and dragged you away.
“are you crazy? why would you post the list?!” she asked frustratedly.
“what list?”
“don’t play dumb!”
“no i’m really serious, what are you talking about?”
she glanced up at you and showed you her phone.
“no way!” you gasped.
someone posted your list!
“yes way! are you that stupid?”
“yeji that wasn’t me! i would never do something so dumb!” you reasoned yourself.
right, why would you even post this if you knew it was going to ruin your reputation?
she sighed and walked back and forth.
“it wasn’t me either!” she said almost instantly.
“yeji, you’re the only one who knows about this list” you said suspectedly.
“y/n, do you really think i’d post this? after shit-talking about him and threatening to kill him multiple times?” she looked genuinely hurt.
you know her ever since you know yourself, she wouldn’t do such a thing.
“you’re right” you sighed.
“so,” she spoke, “who’s the asshole?”
“i wish i knew” you scoffed, “i’d like to know who wants to ruin my image”
there were a few seconds of silence, “yena!” you and yeji shouted together with wide eyes.
“this bitch!” yeji spat, “she probably heard us talking about it!”
“oh i’m gonna give her some good bea—“
you were cut off by the bell and had to head straight to class.
you waited for everyone to get in and told yeji you’d come right after you get to your locker and take your notes.
the hallway was empty and you sighed in relief.
“YOU!!” you heard someone shouting across the hallway.
guess it wasn’t so empty after all.
you looked at the person and found the last person you wanted to see.
“you ruined my life!” the person just got closer and closer and you closed your eyes tightly.
“is it because of our break up? that’s how you get back at me? you ruined everything!”
you sighed heavily.
“and what’s with those points? eight, he’s such a nerd for physics it actually hurts, he won’t stop talking about it all the time, nine, thinks his dog is the cutest and will argue you if you don’t think like him, and ten, he’ll use your deepest secrets against you, he cannot be trusted???” he read out the list for you in disbelief, although you already know it.
“those are all lies aren’t they? why did you even—“
“well what am i supposed to do now? it’s already posted, and no! these are not lies! they’re the truth, if you only cared about how i felt in our relationship you’d realize how much of a dick you were” you scoffed and closed your locker, prepared to go to class since you were already too late.
you glanced at jake one last time, he looked speechless, confused and hurt.
were you too much? maybe. but he deserves it.
“hey y/n! should i be careful if i want to date you? i don’t want a hateful list posted about me if i ever break up with you” a random student yelled from across the hall as you were busy talking with yeji.
you glared at him and decided not to reply.
“ignore them, this whole thing will probably vanish in a few days” yeji caressed your back and you sighed.
“i hope you’re right—“ before you could continue, a hand grabbed your wrist and pulled you away from yeji.
you looked at the person in charge and when you noticed it was very angry looking jake, you started panicking.
“hey, let me go!” you tried to let go of his hold but it was no use.
“why didn’t you delete it yet?” he asked angrily when you got into an isolated place.
“delete what?”
“are you that stupid?”
“obviously if i’m still talking to you”
“i’m talking about the post”
“it wasn’t me!” you argued.
“sure, and i’m actually queen elizabeth” he rolled his eyes, clearly not believing you.
“think about it, why would i ruin my reputation?”
“i don’t know, to get sunghoon’s attention? that’s all you ever did” he shrugged.
“you’re a piece of shit, you know that? try to figure who it was on your own” you spat and walked away, leaving him deep in thoughts.
“oh! there you ar— are you okay?” sunghoon who casually bumped into you noticed your frowned eyebrows and tightly closed fists.
“go to your friend, i think he needs you more than i do”
he slowly nodded, still worried about you but you just kept walking away.
“hey dude! what’s going on?” sunghoon noticed his friend’s weird behavior.
“sunghoon,” jake spoke, “who do you think posted it?”
sunghoon shrugged, “it could be anyone”
“who wants to destroy my image? do you think there’s someone that does?”
sunghoon looked at his friend in disbelief, does he really think only about himself now?
“maybe it was someone who wants to get back at y/n and not you? not everything revolves around you, you know”
ouch. truth hurts sometimes.
but it seemed to hit a nerve and jake suddenly got up.
“yena!”
“ugh! just when i thought my life got better without him now i have a huge scandal because of him” you whined.
“are you sure it was only because of him? i mean, you did leave it in your locker and…” yeji was about to continue but stopped when she noticed your glare.
“on who’s side are you?”
“every coin has two sides and you know it” she pressed her lips and you sighed.
maybe she’s right, instead of always blaming your ex about your life problems, you should face the truth sometimes.
“well if it isn’t the famous y/n!” you heard a voice you wished you’d never hear again.
“yena! it’s so good to see you here” you faked a smile, “what brings you here?”
“i study here” she answered sarcastically and you tried to resist the urge to punch her in the face.
“anyway, your list got so famous that everyone at school talks about it! i think you should thank whoever posted it”
“maybe i should! it really got me some fame, even your boyfriend came up to me today” you teased and her face turned red.
“you’re lying!”
“your boyfriend would say otherwise”
she scoffed and ran away, “tell him i agree to go on a date with him!” you shout as she walked away.
“you should go easy on her” yeji, who was there to witness everything that happened shook her head.
“it was her who posted it, she deserved it” you huffed and sped up your walk to the classroom.
your last class was finished after what felt like a year and as you got out you finally took a deep breath.
“i’ll see you tomorrow, try not to think about what happened today!” yeji sent you off and you smiled at her.
as soon as you stepped your foot in school you wished you could run away.
before anyone would notice you, you tried to sneak around and look for yeji.
“y/n!” god how much you hate universe.
“what do you want jake?” you answered rudely.
“just wanted to say thank you for that list,” he said sarcastically, “it’s not like you ruined my reputation or something like that, hey by the way! do you think i should make one too? i think that would be fun”
“don’t you dare” you groaned.
“then let’s date again”
“what?”
“are you deaf? i said let’s date again”
“what makes you think i’d actually do that?”
“well, we could lie to everyone that we tried to trick them into thinking that we hated each other to see how others will react” he shrugged, “think about it, it’ll save our image, plus you owe me”
“i owe you nothing”
“it’s because of you that we’re in this shitty situation!”
“you can just let it be and people will forget about it sooner or later, now let me go—“
he caught your wrist before you could leave.
“one week, one week of just pretending and then we’ll part our ways peacefully”
truth is, his idea didn’t ring so bad, but you were scared. you were scared you’d fall in love with him all over again.
“what is it, some fake dating love story? you can go fake date sunghoon and that’ll create a bigger scandal than this one” you shoved your hand and rolled your eyes while walking away.
a part of him just wanted to hold you back again in his arms, for real.
“hey jake!” sunghoon greeted him and jake gave him a weak smile.
“did you just talk with y/n? i thought you were angry with her?”
“i don’t know, sunghoon” he sighed, “i just want my old life back”
“yeah you kinda fucked up your life, hey why did you even break up with her in the first place?”
when sunghoon heard about your break up, he was the first to come up to jake and ask him about the reasons, only then he realized jake didn’t really want to speak about it at all.
but now jake felt ready, he felt like he needed someone to hear his side of the story, every coin has two sides right?
there they were, sitting in the field’s seats, looking at the empty space, it was just the two of them.
“when we first got together i was so happy, you already know how much i liked her that time, you even helped me planning all those dates” jake sighed.
“‘sunghoon how do you take someone on a date without telling them straightforward it’s a date?’ i remember you asking me those questions nonstop!” sunghoon laughed.
“yeah, i was on cloud nine, but,” jake paused, “i was scared to lose her, i was so scared to lose her to the point i became overly possessive and anxious when she was around other boys, i was so used to have a one time thing and i didn’t know how to keep relationships, it all became messed up, this whole relationship happened in the wrong time”
sunghoon pat his friend’s shoulder, feeling sad for him.
“each time i tried to fix it, it got worse and i didn’t know how to stop, so i just decided to break it off, it’s better to let her live her life than to stay selfish and keep her to myself” jake sighed yet again, emphasizing the disappointment he feels with himself.
“i actually wanted to say this for awhile, but deep down i know you’re insecure about yourself, and you tried to hide it by boosting your ego and lying to everyone about your true self” sunghoon chuckled, “you were some kind of an asshole before you started dating y/n, and even became more of an asshole after getting into a relationship, you should’ve just talked it out with y/n”
“well it’s too late now isn’t it? she made that very clear that she hates me by writing down that list” jake groaned.
“maybe you should just make one about her and ruin her chances to have any relationship in highschool as well” sunghoon shrugged but jake looked at him curiously.
“i was joking! don’t do that!”
“well? how are we feeling today?” yeji handed you your favorite snack to cheer your mood up.
“thinking about ways to kill yena, how about i poison her food?”
“how about you just talk it out with her?”
“not a chance! i can’t look at her face without fighting the urge to punch her”
“well it isn’t going to help you, is it?”
“no, but it’ll make me satisfied”
“maybe i should just accept his offer?” you murmured.
“offer? what offer?” yeji asked.
“promise me no matter what happens, you’ll never abandon me” you grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at you straight in your eyes.
“have you gone mad? i—“
“promise me!”
“okay, okay!” she laughed, “you’re acting like you’re planning to get back with jake”
your silence told her everything.
“don’t you dare—“
“i have the perfect plan! you know how yena always wanted jake, right?”
“doesn’t she have a boyfriend—“
“boyfriend my ass, she was all over jake all the time”
“continue please”
“she probably posted my list to make sure i’ll never date him again, so she could have her chance,” you raised a brow, “by dating him i could only piss her off, but maybe that’d actually get her to confess about it”
“and then what?”
“then HER reputation would be ruined forever, boyfriend? gone, cheerleading? gone, friends? gone!”
“y/n,” yeji held your hand, “you’re so smart i feel like a proud mom!” she wiped her fake tears away.
later then you searched for a specific person you knew you’d find in the field.
“so,” the person said, “you actually agree?”
“jake, don’t make it harder than it already is” you rolled your eyes, trying to keep up with your cool girl energy, but deep down you were so excited to be close to him again and to hold him in your embrace.
“have you heard? jake and y/n are back!!” as you were walking towards your classroom you heard mumbling from other students.
“i literally just now agreed to this stupid idea how-“
“you know how fast rumor spread here, it’s actually scary”
your thoughts kept running through your mind all the way to lunch break, which was the only time you could ever relax and—
“attention please!” oh no.
“yes, me and y/n are back! this whole list thing? it was just to check everyone’s reaction about it! it’s so smart isn’t it? my sweet baby thought about this idea, and we did figure some weird actions after this whole thing blew up” jake dragged you right next to him and stared right into your eyes, “you’ll never break us apart”
cheers and claps were heard all over the hall and the only thing you thought about now is how to run away.
“congratulations! i was so scared it was real, was just now about to pay (student’s name) a hundred bucks, who lost the bet now huh loser?” one of the students came up to you with a wide smile.
you awkwardly smiled back as you set her off.
“did you really have to do that?” you glared at him.
“i did, see? now no one’s talking about it again” he shrugged.
“everyone stopped talking about it a day after! you’re just too busy thinking about yourself to notice your surroundings” you rolled your eyes.
“you agreed to do that, so be my guest, you knew there will be consequences”
“you’re the worst!”
“you don’t mean that”
you just rolled your eyes in return and stormed off.
“hey my sweet darling, how’s your day?”
“jake, we’re out of school, drop the acting”
you failed to notice his smile dropping.
“can’t i just be curious about your day?”
“jake, it’s weird, it’s been a while since we last talked or had a normal conversation, don’t act like nothing happened”
“what do you mean?”
“see you always does that! even when we were in a relationship! you fail to understand how badly you always hurt me and proceeded to just move on so fast, always running away from your problems”
he stopped his tracks as you continued walking away, this left a huge impact on him.
the next day you were back to acting, according to you, to jake it seemed very real.
you were sitting on one of the benches, casually talking with sunghoon about whatever.
jake seemed to notice every small detail about you.
the way you smile when he’s complimenting you, the way you crack at any of his jokes, even those who weren’t so funny.
you never laughed at his jokes.
“hey, can i steal my girlfriend?” jake sounded calm but his whole face screamed anger.
sunghoon, his best friend who had already recognized that face, slowly got up and smiled, “she’s all yours”
“hey, what was that?” you scoffed.
“you were being too close to him”
you rolled your eyes, “i can’t believe we’re back at it again”
“again?”
“yes, again! jake, get it right into your mind, we are not together! we’re just putting a small show for everyone’s entertainment and that’s it, it’s all about saving your ass here as well” you sounded really pissed off.
jake was taken a back for a few seconds but got right back to his senses, “oh”
“yes, oh! we’ll act like a couple when we’ll really need it” and with that you walked away.
“so,” you heard a devilish voice haunting you from behind as you were taking books out of your locker, “you and jake?”
“oh hey yena!” you smiled, “fancy seeing you here”
“answer my question” she furiously said.
“why are you curious? dropped your boyfriend because you thought you’d get a chance with him?” you smirked.
“oh! here’s my boyfriend!” you called jake who seemed to be very deep in thought.
he looked straight into your eye but decided to just walk away and ignore you completely.
“what the hell…” you cursed under your breath.
“boyfriend, huh?” yena was the one who’s smirking now, “well have fun!”
“what the hell was your problem back then?” you let yourself yell at him as you were out of school and on your way home.
“oh, i thought that we need to act like a couple when we really need it—“
“don’t play dumb right now!”
“i don’t get you y/n seriously! you’re always saying something but mean the exact opposite, what do you want, really?” he returned the attitude.
“what?”
“if you’re that suffering you should just go to sunghoon!”
“again with the sunghoon scandal—“
“yes, again with him! how come you never laughed at my jokes? how come you never smiled at any compliment i’ve given you? why did you always push me away when i tried to get closer?” the heated conversation turned into a quiet one, his tone made it very clear to you that he was hurting.
“w-what…” you whispered.
“you just don’t get it do you?” he chuckled, “my reason to being this jealous”
you stopped to think, all this time, all those arguments, he didn’t mean any bad at all.
“have you tried thinking about those beautiful moments we had? those were the most precious moments that ever happened in my entire life” you voice came quiet, “it was my first relationship ever, my first love, my first everything, i didn’t know how i should react, or what i should do in order to keep you to myself”
his glossy eyes were looking at you.
“you were so not used to doing ‘first time’ things that you failed to notice every little thing that i tried to do to keep us together, have you ever thought about that?” you preached, “i loved you, maybe i still do, but that won’t change anything, will it? it just doesn’t matter anymore”
he tried moving closer to you but stopped, “i-i’m sorry…”
“just go” you wiped the tears that were already streaming down your face.
both of you were hurting, but you didn’t know how to fix it all, it’s so stupid really, you think you’ve grown up to be a better person, but somehow communication puts on a wall that stops it all.
“have you heard? i think y/n and jake are over now, for real!”
“how the fuck did i became the hot topic again? and how come everyone knows about what happened yesterday?” you asked yeji.
“rumors, they spread so fast here” she shrugged and you rolled your eyes.
you watched jake pass you, you took the time to focus on his face.
his eyes seem so tried, puffy and hurt…. you thought.
“well someone had a rough day yesterday” yeji commented and you nodded slowly, still lost in thoughts.
“hey, can you let teacher know i have a meeting with coach today?”
“hm? but you don’t have any—“ “thank you!” you ran off quickly before she could ask any more questions.
“psst! sunghoon!” you whispered as you watched him getting ready for class.
“oh? y/n!” he smiled widely.
“come with me!” you grabbed his hand and dragged him outside the school building all the way to the back.
“y/n can we do this other time? class starts soon and—“
“shh!!” you put your finger over his lips and kneeled down with him, hiding from any teacher or student.
“i need you to help me” you gave him puppy eyes.
“yes of course, what happened?” he instantly asked.
“i’m gonna guess that you’re already aware of what happened yesterday”
“yeah, whatever that was i’d rather forget hearing about this”
“focus! i need you to help me figure out this!”
“what do you mean by ‘this’?”
“i mean everything! you’re his best friend, i’m sure you know about our whole relationship status, i-i just need to know why he broke up with me in the first place” you sighed.
“y/n, you’re not going to like what you’ll be hearing, are you sure you want that?” he genuinely asked.
you looked down to the ground and sighed, “yes, tell me everything please”
maybe asking him not to drop any detail was a mistake, because now after he told you everything and left you alone to get some time to think, you can’t help it but overthink about any step that you did.
“that only shows how bad you were for each other” sunghoon’s last words sent shivers down your spine, maybe he’s right.
“miscommunication sucks!” you laid back on the wall next to you, was this whole relationship a big mistake?
it did nothing but to hurt the both of you.
“there you are!” yeji sounded out of breath.
“so, jake might’ve gotten himself into a tiny fight and—“
“what? where!”
“it was right outside of our classroom but—“
before she could even finish her sentence you ran all the way back to your classroom and she after you.
“there’s no one here” you frowned, “you did this on purpose!”
“i tried to tell you he’s already in the nursery!” she yelled after trying to catch her breath.
“fill me up with information please” you asked quietly.
“you asshole!” as soon as you stepped into the nursery and saw jake laying down on one of the beds, a few tears came down your face.
“y/n! be careful he’s still recovering!” the nurse warned you from causing any more harm.
jake slowly opened his eyes and you scoffed, “fight? really? because of me?” you looked at him in disbelief.
he stayed silent, as if he knew what he did was wrong.
“you have nothing to say?”
“he called you a whore who likes to play with any boy that comes around, what did you expect me to do?” he sounded defensive.
“oh, i don’t know, maybe try to insult him with words and not physically! you got yourself into trouble now because of me” you complained.
“it was worth it” he smirked.
“jake, i’m being serious right now, you can’t act like we’re a couple when we’re absolutely not” as soon as you said this the nurse got the clue and went out of the room.
“that is exactly the problem!” he shout, “i can’t pass another day without you being by my side, you drive me crazy only by looking at me, and hell, i cannot look at any other man flirting with you without fighting the urge to punch him!”
“jake…” you whispered.
“i still love you, don’t you get it?…..i feel like i just can’t continue my day without holding you in my arms….” he held your hand.
you wiped the tears that continued to stream down your face, “you’re probably still suffering from concussion after the fight, i’ll go speak to the nurse”
you let go of his hold and walked out of the room.
a lot of thoughts were haunting your brain, how you wished things would be as simple as they sound.
he confessed to you and you love him, what’s stopping you from running into his arms?
“you’re just scared of giving whatever this was a second chance” yeji said as she took a bite of her food.
“whatever this was, it was toxic, i don’t want that to happen again” you sighed.
“yeah, it was pretty shitty to watch from the side, but i think he genuinely mean it this time” she took another bite from her food.
“how do you know that?”
“i mean really, ever since that list was posted he was around you 24/7, probably looking for excuses to be with you, that whole ‘oh we were just joking, we’re still dating’ thing was a dumb excuse for him to be next to you more, any nine years old can tell you that”
“you don’t have to be that harsh” you scoffed.
“i’m telling the truth babe, as much as i hated his guts, and still do, i think he was genuine about his feelings this time, and by the way you told me everything that happened, i think he really wants to fix it and try all over again” she shrugged.
“i….i don’t know what to say”
“just go and tell him yes already” she rolled her eyes and you nodded.
it’s time to fix your broken relationship.
you walked—ran back to the nursery only to find it empty.
“um…do you know where’s—“ “i saw him going to the field” the nurse answered before you could ask.
“thank you!” you smiled and walked excitedly to the field.
“i did it” you heard a familiar voice, “i posted that list”
before you could see who’s talking, you quickly hid behind a side wall.
“what?” you’re 100% certain this is jake’s voice, but who is he talking to?
“i thought this would finally break whatever you had going with her, i mean, you always had heart eyes for her even after your break up, it was making me sick”
“still, how could you do this to me?” jake sounded betrayed and…hurt.
“you had to move on, seriously, it was becoming unhealthy, i didn’t think it’d only bring you closer, it was such a mistake”
“please stop…”
“when you broke up i thought i’d finally have chance with her, but she was actually always looking your way, not even batting an eye at me”
“sunghoon just stop! i can’t believe my best friend would do this”
was it sunghoon this whole time?
“so it was you?” your thoughts voiced out.
“y-y/n?” you saw jake and sunghoon standing right in front of the other, sunghoon wore a shocked expression while jake just stood there looking completely hurt.
“what kind of an idiot would call himself a best friend? and to think you did all of that for what? to hurt not only him but me as well” you tched, “you’re nothing but an egoistic asshole”
“please just—“
“just go the fuck away! you did nothing but to hurt people, you’re disgusting me” you tried to shoo him but he didn’t budge.
“not going? okay then” you grabbed jake’s hand and walked away, not before shooting him an angry glare.
after a few minutes of walking you sat him down on one of the benches.
“you okay?” that was the first thing you asked.
“yeah, not like my best friend tried to sabotage me or anything” he chuckled.
“i’m sorry for that” you placed your hand on his shoulder, pressing it lightly, “he does not deserve to be called your best friend though”
he looked up to you and his eyes were filled with tears. you wiped the tears away and smiled at him.
“i don’t know if it’s going to help, but i didn’t feel anything for him, and never will”
he chuckled and sniffled, “i always trusted you, but i couldn’t find myself to trust him, i guess now i know why”
you rolled your eyes, “yeah, yeah you were right, i was wrong”
he gave you his infamous smile and the butterflies you felt never felt this good, “thank you” he said.
“for what?”
“for being there for me, and even if you don’t want to fix things right now, i think we might be—“
you shut him down by kissing his lips, he was shocked at first but quickly caught up, caging you in his arms and holding you tightly.
as you broke the kiss you smiled, “i do want to fix things, i want that more than anything”
“do you mean it? aren’t you afraid?”
“as long as i’m with you i have nothing to fear” you smiled.
“ugh! you’re back again? i can’t keep up with this anymore!” you heard an annoying voice.
“hey yena? fuck off” you flipped her off and she stormed away.
“since when did you become so confident?”
“ever since i realized i want to cherish and hold the most precious thing to me forever”
“i love you” he held your hand and kissed it, “i love you too” you replied with a quick peck on his lips.
“aww lovebirds, get back in class now the day’s not over yet!”
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redflagshipwriter · 7 months ago
Text
Red Hot Ghouls chapter 11 2/2
Masterpost
He leaned back a little.
There was a very strange silence. Jack’s face initially turned to fury, then a shocked contemplation. Jason waited it out and wondered if he was going to get in trouble for shooting a civilian in genuine self defense.
“Son.” Jack’s voice was grave. “You’re not Jeremy Waters, are you?”
It took a moment to parse through the immediate offense that this guy had busted his cover and to actually register the full name.
Oh, fuck. That Jeremy? The cult guy? Jason made a face involuntarily. “I am not,” he admitted. Oof. Fuck. Here it goes. “I lied because I wanted to be sure you would meet with me.”
“...Honey!” Jack shouted. He shot up in an alarmingly fast motion for such a big man. “Uh, change of plans! Why don’t you get what we all drink on movie nights?”
Something broke in the other room. “Oh, dear,” said Dr. Fenton. “Just a moment.” A vacuum started up. What the actual fuck was going on in there?
“You thought I was that creep?” Jason said blankly. “What were you going to do?” What sounded like a high pressure hose started up in the other room. He had to deliberately decide not to hunch his shoulders defensively. Jesus fucking christ. They were definitely mad scientists.
Jack Fenton looked shifty. “...Talk,” he tried.
Jason looked at the older man. He didn’t say anything. Jack gradually began to look sheepish but he didn’t break.
“Don't worry about it, honey,” Madeleine Fenton said. She set down three alarmingly green glasses and gave him a close-lipped smile.
Jason was very much going to worry about it. He looked between the two of them.
“Melon soda!” Jack Fenton cheered, obviously overreacting to get out of the conversation. He put both his hands up in the air and then grabbed at his glass. “Yummy! So good for growing young men, drink up.” He laughed awkwardly and then buried his face in his own drink.
Meanwhile, Dr. Madeline Fenton looked at him with catlike consideration. She clearly wanted to see him drink the soda.
He was pretty sure they'd been planning to get rid of Jeremy Waters, permanently. Mixed feelings on that, since Waters clearly sucked. He’d human trafficked Jason to the afterlife, after all. On the other hand, you can’t assume someone is chill when you know they want to kill someone. “No thank you,” he said to the melon soda, stomach a little queasy. Even if Jack was drinking it. And the glasses were identical.
“That’s fair,” Dr. Fenton said and sank into the couch cushion next to her husband. “So, you were interested in learning about the Ghost Zone and the afterlife?” She exchanged a meaningful look with her husband. “Any… particular reason?”
These people were intense when they goggled at a guy.
“Nothing I’m ready to talk about yet,” he evaded. It had the advantage of being true. He didn’t know how Jack made him yet.
They proceeded to have a somewhat tense conversation where the Fentons happily elaborated on all their current research and repeated, “I’m sorry, but we’ve withdrawn that work and won’t discuss it,” whenever he mentioned a publication from before 5 years ago. They’d even gone and gotten a lot of their stuff redacted. They talked and talked until Jason’s throat was hoarse. The Drs. Fenton were a brick wall on those topics that he couldn’t bust or wheedle past.
‘What does a person who posts about ghosts on their family blog think to redact?’ Jason wondered.
Eventually, Jack held up both hands. “It’s bothering me that you won’t drink anything,” he admitted. “Let’s go the Nasty!”
“Good idea, honey,” Dr. Fenton agreed. She stood and swung keys around her finger. “I’ll drive!”
Jack Fenton let out a dramatic “Awww, honey bunches,” and followed her around wheedling for a chance to get behind the wheel.
“No, we don’t want to scare our guest.” Dr. Fenton was immovable. A bit ominous as well.
Jason thought about pointing out that he hadn’t agreed to come with them, but he stood up anyways. It wasn’t like he could just sit on their couch and watch them leave their own house.
He had his first inkling of how badly he’d initially fucked up on that phone call when they got outside. Jack pulled the canvas off the family van with a flourish to reveal an absolutely horrific mural of Danny the ghost king giving gifts to humanity. There was text explaining his generosity, scrolling across the bottom of the van.
Jason stood stock still in horror.
The van gave off the same general impression as psychedelic howling wolf print art.
Jason put a hand over his mouth and tried to process it.
Danny’s white hair floated nobly across a few more feet than Jason was pretty sure it should. He was also kinda built in this painting compared to reality and he looked more… kingly. Not that Danny wasn’t in shape, but he was built more like Dr. Fenton than Jack Fenton, if that made sense.
Wait. Why’d he made that comparison? That should have been a frame of reference for Danny Fenton, not Danny the ghost king. …Was the ghost king basing his form off the Fenton’s kid?
“Come on, son!” Jack slapped him on the back. The force was enough to jar Jason forward and out of his dissociative state.
He moved numbly. ‘Alright, they like Danny king,’ Jason managed to think through the wound to his artistic soul. ‘I can be honest with them about the problem. They’ll want to help him get a spiritual separation from some sketchy guy who lied to them.’
They took him to a mid-tier burger restaurant with weird pretensions. The burge had both garlic aioli and shitty neon nacho cheese sauce on it. Jason picked at it for a while, disturbed and pleased by the unexpected combination.
They got back into their discussion. The next time a Fenton asked him a question, he cleared his throat and put down what was left of his burger. “I asked about Phantom because I’m in a little bit of trouble with him.”
It was weird to call him Phantom when he’d introduced himself as Danny. On the other hand, the Fentons also had a kid named Danny, so it was probably for the best.
Jack’s smile faltered. “What kind of trouble, sport?”
Jason shifted in his chair. “I uh. I may have gotten in Waters’ way. I didn’t know who he was,” he admitted. “Next thing I knew, I was in this green place?” He made a confused hand gesture. “Few minutes later, Phantom shows up, kinda pissy, asked if I did it on purpose, and then says that Waters basically.” He stopped to clear his throat. “Spiritually married us to each other.” His voice got a bit smaller than he meant it to.
That meant there was no audio competition for the loud crack when Madeline Fenton broke the table.
“Jesus fuck,” Jason said, looking at her with wide eyes. “Is your hand-”
She put her elbows on top of the tabletop that still existed and cupped her chin on her palms. “Tell me more.”
“You’re a handsome boy, aren’t you,” said Jack consideringly. “Maddie, honeybunches, d’you know, I was thinking about tracking down the Wishiewish ghostie again today. D’you think-”
“Oh, he should absolutely come with you,” Dr. Fenton agreed. She was beaming. It… did not feel villainous.
‘Why did telling them that make her less scary all of a sudden?’
“What do you like about Phantom? Do you think he’s cute? Was he nice to you?”
Maybe she was just a romantic.
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