#sorry about the shitty edit though lol

[simplybakugou]

Could you do another drink bakugo?

⋆ PAIRING: drunk/prohero!bakugou x fem!reader ⋆ WARNINGS/TAGS: swearing; alcohol; all characters are adults ⋆ WORD COUNT: 3003

A/N: taking a break from mystic academia cause this has been sitting in my inbox for so long and i wanted to save it until i got some inspiration for another drunk!bakugou and i finally found the inspo hehe. also when i first started writing drunk!bakugou oneshots, i was 17 LMAO and now as a 23 y/o that has actually been drunk i can write this a little more accurately lol. also i was struggling trying to end this cause i didn’t want it to be longer than it already is (imo) lol so im sorry for the awkward ending. ty for requesting and i hope you enjoy!

© simplybakugou — all rights reserved. DO NOT REPOST/REUPLOAD, TRANSLATE, OR EDIT ANY OF MY CONTENT ON HERE OR ANY PLATFORM

It was a stupid idea. Why the hell would Bakugou go into a bar with the most loud and raucous people he knew even though he’d never drank a day in his life?

He couldn’t think of something he wanted to do less in that moment. He was exhausted, coming from a day of patrolling and hero work. Although his friends also came from their jobs, they actually drank alcohol and wanted to unwind after five years of constantly overworking themselves.

“Are you really not gonna get anything, Katsuki?” Sero questioned, giving the table’s drink orders to the bartender.

“I’m not fucking up my body just to look like an idiot like you dumbasses,” Bakugou huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his chair. 

“Why’d you come then?” Kaminari quipped, interested in hearing Bakugou’s answer.

“Cause your dumbass wouldn’t stop bothering me about coming out tonight!” Bakugou replied angrily.

“Oh yeah!” Kaminari exclaimed, laughing at himself. “I forgot.”

“It’s good to come out with us once in a while,” Kirishima said, nodding his head. “You’ve been working yourself to the bone since we graduated, man. We haven’t seen you in years.”

Bakugou rolled his eyes. “Don’t be fucking ridiculous. I’m not stopping until I’m number one. You shits can drink all you fucking want but I’m not gonna sit around every week just to catch up.”

Kaminari sighed, shaking his head. “This is why you’ve never had a girlfriend.” Sero nodded along with him.

“And what the fuck does that have to do with anything?” Bakugou snarled, slamming his fist against the table out of annoyance.

“You’re a workaholic, dude,” Sero stated matter-of-factly. “When are you gonna have the time to date? If you slowed down a little you could’ve at least gone out with Y/N back when you had a crush on her in U.A.”

“I did not have a crush on that shitty girl.” Bakugou felt himself getting even more angered just hearing your name uttered. 

“You keep telling yourself that,” Kirishima said, patting his friend on the shoulder only to get shook off by Bakugou. 

The drinks Sero ordered arrived and the rest of the guys cheered each other before downing their beverages. Bakugou sipped on his water he was forced to get after Sero berated him to order something.  

The more alcohol his friends consumed, the more rowdy and even more raucous they got and Bakugou questioned even more why he decided to go out with them. It was karaoke night at the bar and Bakugou swore his ears were bleeding as Kaminari consistently kept attempting to serenade him.

Despite how chaotic it was in the bar that night, Bakugou eventually found himself enjoying it. Kaminari and Sero got the most drunk, getting up to dance and stumbling over one another, which made Bakugou and Kirishima burst into laughter. He would never tell them, but he needed this time out and away from the constant need to work towards his one and only goal. 

The night was going great; until the door to the bar opened. Bakugou turned his head to the noise of the bell ringing above the door. It stuck out amongst the voices and loud nature of the room and he felt his face drop at the sight.

There you were, five years older than the last time he had seen you in person. And you weren’t alone as your arm was looped around the arm of another man.

Bakugou couldn’t help but stare at the sight. He drowned out the sounds of Kaminari, Sero, Kirishima, and a few strangers they had recruited at the bar playing drinking games as his focus was only on you. You scanned the area, waving shyly to a few people that recognized you as their favorite rising hero and sat in the corner of the room with your mystery man.

Kirishima glanced at Bakugou, recognizing that he was distracted by something else and looked towards what had caught his eye. He immediately understood the reason for the defeated look on his friend’s face.

“I’m sorry, man,” Kirishima stated simply. 

“Sorry?” Bakugou scoffed. “For what? There’s nothing to be sorry about. We were never together.” The last part Bakugou muttered to himself as he finally tore his eyes away from you and down to his glass of water.

And it was true; you and Bakugou were never together back when you attended U.A. with him and the others. Matter of fact, you didn’t even know Bakugou liked you back then as he made it his mission that you never found out. Not only did he refuse to let himself be subjected to such vulnerable feelings like love and infatuation, you and your peers were constantly bombarded with hero work and dealing with the League of Villains to ever have the time for confessions. At the time, romantic relationships were trivial. 

As things died down by the time class A graduated, Bakugou busied himself with his long-time goal of wanting to become the number one hero. He kept telling himself that it was time to grow up and forget about what he assumed to be a little crush but the more he kept shoving his feelings inside, the more intense they became.

That was why it felt like a punch to the gut to see you laughing with and leaning onto a man that wasn’t him. 

“Hey, dunce face,” Bakugou grunted. Kaminari lifted his head and looked over at Bakugou with hazy eyes. “Get me the strongest drink here.”

“Dude, you really should slow down,” Kirishima urged, concerned as he watched Bakugou down shot after shot. “You’ve never drank before and this’ll probably mess you up fast.”

“I don’t give a fuck,” Bakugou said in a rush, out of breath from the abundance of liquids he furiously ingested. He held the next shot glass to his lips, preparing himself to throw it back along with the countless shots he had already done; he felt like he was going to be sick, to no one’s surprise. Bakugou slammed the shot glass down onto the table, still full of alcohol, and he slammed his head onto the table as well. His head was throbbing but he felt like he could float in the air if he really tried. 

Kirishima chuckled at his friend, taking advantage of the situation and taking the shot glass away from Bakugou. 

Kaminari swung his arm around Bakugou’s shoulders. “See, dude, now we’re having fun!” The last word was elongated as he let out a small hiccup.

“Get the fuck off of me, dunce face,” Bakugou mumbled with his head still on the table, causing his words to be muffled. Nevertheless, Kaminari knew exactly what his grouchy friend had said but ignored him.

For the first time that night, Kaminari looked around the room and noticed you sitting alone now in the corner of the bar. He shot up, waving his hand out at you. “Y/N!”

Bakugou’s eyes, which were once closed shut as the alcohol was rushing to his head all at once, shot wide open as he whipped his head up. He felt dizzy from how quick the motion was. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Come on, man, she’s sitting over there all alone,” Kaminari reasoned, turning his attention back to you. You also had finally noticed your old classmates, smiling at the sight. “Hang out with us, Y/N!”

“Alone?” Bakugou questioned softly. He looked over at you and felt a wave of relief wash over him as he carefully watched you make your way to their table, mystery man out of the picture.

“I didn’t know you guys were here tonight,” you said with a smile. You sounded level-headed and Bakugou determined that you were probably the most sober person in the room that night.

“Yeah, we come here a lot after our patrol shifts,” Sero commented.

“All of you?” You questioned, interested as you scanned each of the guys sitting at the table. Finally you locked eyes with Bakugou and he swore your gaze could’ve pierced right through him. He broke eye contact first as he felt his face burning up even more with the effects of the alcohol. 

“We usually have to beg Katsuki to come out. You know how he is,” Kirishima teased, wanting to lighten the mood for his friend. It didn’t work as Bakugou still had a sour expression on his face.

“Wanna get a few drinks with us?” Kaminari offered.

You shook your head. “No, it’s alright. Tonight hasn’t gone the way I wanted so I think I’m going to call it a night. It was nice seeing you guys.”

You waved goodbye to the boys, sending a small smile towards Bakugou as you understood he was in a bad mood but not understanding why. Your back was turned to them as you walked towards the exit and it was a miracle how you didn’t have two vermillion holes in your back the way Bakugou was staring at you leaving.

Bakugou stood up abruptly and he grabbed his coat and wallet. He sloppily pulled out a few bills and slammed them on the table as he made his way out as well.

“Where are you going?” Kirishima questioned.

“Don’t worry about it.”

You cursed at yourself for leaving your jacket in your date’s car as the winter snow began to litter the streets. Your body was shivering terribly. The bar had a few tables and chairs in front of the building and you sat yourself down as you contemplated how on Earth you were going to get home. 

Before you could come up with a game plan, you felt a heavy leather jacket plop down onto your shoulders. You jumped at the sudden contact, watching as a clearly drunk-but-pretending-to-be-sober Bakugou sat himself in the chair across from you. “Bakugou! What’re you doing here?”

Bakugou ignored your question as he bluntly asked, “Where’s that fucker you came in with?”

You were taken aback by his questions. Only a few minutes ago did you realize that Bakugou, Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero were there in the bar with you that night. If he had seen you with your date, that meant Bakugou had seen you when you walked in. 

You sighed, leaning back in your chair and pulling Bakugou’s jacket closer to you as it kept you warm. “He was being… weird.”

“Weird how.” It was a question but you sensed the animosity in Bakugou’s tone as his expression harshened in a way that made his question a statement.

You waved your hands to calm him down. Why was he so upset? “Nothing bad, don’t worry. He’s just some guy I started dating. We weren’t official or anything but I liked him. He said he didn’t like me being a hero and said I should get a job that’d suit me in a feminine way.” You chuckled humorlessly as you recalled the misogynistic comment.

“What a fucking loser,” Bakugou grumbled, loud enough for you to hear and laugh at. He leaned back in his chair, resting his eyes. “You told him to fuck off, right?”

You nodded, amused as you always were back in U.A. with Bakugou’s colorful vocabulary. “Yup. He got pissed and left me here and I left my stuff in his car like an idiot.” 

Bakugou opened his eyes and reached into his front pocket, cursing at himself as his fingers kept missing the opening seam. He pulled out his car keys and tossed them onto the table. You furrowed your eyes at the sight in confusion.

“Take my car to get home.”

You widened your eyes at his insane proposition, looking at the insignia on his keys as an expensive brand. “Bakugou, your car’s worth like a hundred million yen! There’s no way I can drive that!” 

“Just do it, idiot,” Bakugou groaned, placing his forehead on the cold, snow-covered table. “Can’t let you just sit here in the cold.”

A moment passed as you were contemplating your choices only to realize in that time, Bakugou had fallen asleep. You chuckled softly, never expecting to see health-conscious Bakugou who’s always been adamant about never drinking inebriated. 

You grabbed his keys and put them in the pocket of his leather jacket, slipping the jacket onto your arms. You knew you couldn’t just take his car and leave him here like this so you got up and went over to his side, gently shaking his shoulders to wake him. “Come on, big guy. We’re going home”

Bakugou let out a groan as you got him to his feet, your arm around his shoulders and you wrapped his arm around your waist to support him, resting your hand on his hand. You felt his body stiffen in reaction and you looked up at him curiously. His face was red again and you assumed it was a combination of the alcohol and the frigidness in the air. It most definitely was not either of those things.

“Where’d you park your car?” You asked as you slowly helped him walk.

He nodded in the direction ahead of you and you assumed he was referring to the parking lot that was thankfully right next to the bar. The two of you continued walking towards the lot and you found it unusual how quiet Bakugou was.

Once reaching the lot, you were originally going to search for Bakugou’s car only to not have to put any effort at all since his bright red sports car stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the Subarus and Toyotas.

You laughed, shaking your head. “Why am I not surprised by this at all, Bakugou.”

Bakugou flinched and he slowly pulled away from you, shoving his hands in his pockets as he wobbly made his way to his car. “Stop calling me that.”

“What? You don’t want me to call you Bakugou?” You question, confused. “Oh! I get it. You want me to call you by your hero name, right, Dynamight?”

“That’s not it either, idiot.”

“Oh, then, Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight?”

“You’re so stupid.” Bakugou stopped right in front of his car and turned around, slowly so that he wouldn’t fall over. He had his signature frown on his face only this time it was out of frustration. “Back in U.A. you’d call me Katsuki.”

“Yeah, I guess I did,” you said, nodding your head as you recalled doing so. “But that was five years ago. I haven’t seen you since then and I just wanted to be polite.”

Bakugou kept quiet but his eyes never faltered or wavered as he kept them on you. You felt like he could burn right through you if he tried as you didn’t understand his frustrations. “Is everything okay, Ba– I mean, Katsuki.”

Bakugou’s eyes slightly widened for a moment and he felt like he was transported back to being a teenager. “No. Everything’s not okay ‘cause I still have this stupid crush on you that I’ve had since our first year in U.A.”

He let out a sigh, feeling a weight on his shoulders dissipate and he turned around back towards his car. You stood in place, shocked at the confession that you did not foresee at all. There was no way the Bakugou Katsuki had a crush on you, especially when you were just teenagers.

“Open the door.” Bakugou turned his head to you as he waited by the passenger door.

“Wait, wait, wait.” You waved your hands in front of you, still unable to wrap his words around your head. “This has to be a joke. There’s just no way– Why would you have a crush on me?”

Bakugou shrugged. “Dunno. Just happened.”

Your face felt hot and it wasn’t because of the weather. So much of your relationship with Bakugou made sense with this new realization. The reason for his cold shouldering you on numerous occasions or annoyed stares he’d give you when you got in a relationship in your second year all started to make sense. It was his way of conveying his feelings for you. 

You shook your head, shaking the complex thoughts from your mind and snapping yourself back to reality as the cold air and Bakugou not having a jacket, since you were obviously wearing it, made you unlock his car with the key he gave you. You watched as Bakugou entered his car on the passenger side.

You knew you needed to give yourself a minute before you could enter the car beside him. How did you feel about him? You always thought he was handsome, when he wasn’t scowling at least, and you enjoyed seeing him mature every year in U.A. Even after graduation, you always watched the news fondly as you watched him evolve into an incredible hero, one that you knew was worthy of becoming number one. 

So Bakugou Katsuki liked you. If your poor previous relationships taught you anything, it was to not turn down a good man when he was right in front of you. Or at least sitting in his sports car waiting for you to drive the two of you home since he was unexpectedly inebriated to do so himself. 

Taking in a breath, you knew what you had to do; you wanted to see where this would go between the two of you. You opened the driver’s side door, sitting in your seat and collecting your thoughts briefly before turning to Bakugou to tell him exactly what was on your mind. You wanted to give it a shot.

And you were intent on doing just that until you turned to look at Bakugou only to see he was once again fast asleep, his chest rising and falling. You chuckled at the sight, taking in how adorable he was in that moment. Slipping his jacket off your body, you draped it over his body.

“Guess you’ll have to stay with me tonight.”

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[summermoa-ns]

.・。.・゜✭・Smart Mouth・✫・゜・。.

NSFW (18+ ONLY) MDNI

academic rival!taehyun x fem!reader

content warnings: drinking, drunk sex, unprotected sex, pet names (pretty girl, baby), small mentions of smoking/weed, slightly condescending Taehyun, fucking until ur dumb lol, if i missed anything else pls lmk!!

author's note: i've been on-and-off working on this fic until i started hating it! just needed to get it out of my system so i can finally work on other stuff! also i didn't really edit this, so sorry for any typos or grammar errors

song inspos: You Lose! By Magdelena Bay; Cologne by beabadooobee

“Hey… Y/n? Maybe you should slow down a little bit?” Yeonjun furrows his brows in concern as he watches you down your third shot in the last 10 minutes. 

Yeonjun’s worries fall on deaf ears as you suck the lime between your teeth. You just need something to fog your mind, to haze the racing thoughts and anger that swarms inside you. Something to distract you from the shitty day you just had. The logical part of your brain is screaming at you to heed Yeonjun’s advice, but you’re not at this party to be smart and logical like you usually are. You are at this party to make bad decisions: to make up for the time you wasted chasing after something, and having it ripped away from you anyway. 

Usually, you’re not at these types of parties. Usually, you spend your free time in front of a laptop, coding for your lab. Or maybe burning your retinas as you stare holes through research journals, looking for articles to cite. Maybe even clocking in overtime hours, proctoring experiments that you were begged to cover last minute.  Day in and day out, you give everything to your lab, and yet they decide to go with him? After doing everything the PhD students and postdocs ask of you– for three fucking years– they give the head coordinator position to him? And now here you are fucking thinking about your lab even though the whole point of being at this dumb party is to not think about it and-

Yeonjun’s soju bottle hitting the table snaps you back into reality. 

After his swig, he waves a hand in front of your face, “Aye, you still here?” Yeonjun’s fingers blur and distort as they move in front of you. The blasting music and sounds of people socializing blend into a slurry. Shit, those shots are finally hitting.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” the words fumbling over themselves as they exit your mouth. You rub the palm of your hand into your forehead, turning to look as Beomgyu greets someone at the front door. 

Your stomach drops when you see who comes through the door. Everything seems to slow down and unravel as the tall figure entering the house does some stupid dude-bro handshake with Beomgyu. His chocolate brown hair, his lean figure, his twinkly eyes: you could recognize him from miles away. The heat rising in you is sobering; it blisters in your lungs as you stare at him from across the house. The last 24 hours come crashing down on your shoulders again.

Yeonjun looks over to what has captured your attention and his eyes widen. “Ah fuck!” 

“Jun,” you slowly turn towards your fox-eyed dumbass of a friend, “I thought you said you double-checked with Gyu to make sure he wasn’t coming tonight.”

“I did, Y/n! I swear on my life!”

“Then why are we staring at the Kang Taehyun in your living room?”

Yeonjun runs his hand through his hair, huffing out his answer, “I don’t know! Maybe he changed his mind?”

You look over at Taehyun’s direction again, and your eyes meet. Your heartbeat quickens. His eyes squint, not hiding how he has spotted you. Fuck. You don’t even have time to process and suddenly Taehyun is standing across the kitchen island from you and Yeonjun. 

He leans forward and whispers to you, “Wow, I didn’t expect to see you here~” 

It’s amazing how you could see straight after how hard you rolled your eyes at him. The chocolate-haired boy chuckles in response. Taehyun greets Yeonjun who makes it brief. He may be a little dense, but even Yeonjun knows not to get too chummy with the bastard you were talking shit about all evening. 

“I was just about to leave, actually!” You begin getting up when a firm pair of hands push your shoulders back into the stool.

You turn in shock and see Beomgyu pouting at you, “Y/n~ you never hang out with us anymore. Can you just stay a little longer?” He whines, but you hear a hint of mischief in his voice. 

You try to protest, but before you can utter a sound Beomgyu interrupts, “Plus, you still owe me from that time you promised to treat me out on my birthday… and NEVER did…”

Fuck. You totally forgot about that. You look at Beomgyu and he gives you the biggest, pleading puppy-dog eyes. An irritated sigh escapes your teeth. “Fine.”

Taehyun is already opening the soju bottle with ease. He smiles as he pours a shot for himself, “Uh oh, Beomgyu! You made the pretty girl mad!”

God, he pisses you off. 

Taehyun, the golden boy: good merits with all his peers and professors, at the top of everything he does. When you both joined your psychology lab, it honestly was nice at first. You grew pretty close being in the same cohort. You both seemed driven and, as first-years, shared a lot of interests and hobbies. The only difference between you being Taehyun’s natural ability to succeed. In the beginning, you didn’t notice. Every class, every test, every paper: Taehyun aced with flying colors, while you chased after him, just out of his reach. But it was fine because you were friends. Taehyun would smile, ruffle your hair, and say “maybe next time”. 

But there was never a next time. Even in the middle of your final year at uni, Taehyun has topped you every single time. Though the rest of the department sees your rivalry as light-hearted and playful, a darkness grew underneath it all. Frustration. Anxiety. Jealousy. As the gap between your abilities became more and more apparent,  his “kind” remarks began to sting more and more. The more he teased you, the more tired you became of his patronizing nature. Eventually, you pushed him away.  

No longer stuck in your ruminations, you catch yourself staring as Taehyun pours a giddy Yeonjun and Beomgyu a shot. He tilts the bottle towards you, “Do you want one?”

Yeonjun starts talking before you say anything, “I think it’s better if she sits this one ou-”. You place your shot glass in front of Taehyun before Yeonjun can finish.

“I can handle myself.”

Beomgyu giggles, wrapping an arm around you, “See, I missed you!! Still as bitchy and smart-mouthed as ever!”

Taehyun cocks his eyebrow at you, “I missed that too.” He pours the shot to the brim.

—

Due to spite, you feel extra pissy today. Or maybe it’s because Taehyun has made it a point to hover wherever you are in this damn house. You want to watch the beer pong tournament happening in the backyard? There’s Taehyun wanting to join suddenly. You want to take some mirror selfies with Sakura in the hallway mirror? Taehyun is posing in the background of some of your pics! You want to pass a joint with Heesung and chill on the upstairs balcony? Taehyun just decides he wants a couple of hits too! 

You finally get some peace and quiet by wandering to one of the empty rooms on the second floor. You sit down by the foot of the bed.

You feel defeated, for some odd reason. The whole goal of tonight was to get Taehyun off your mind, and yet he’s creeped into every crevice in your brain, invading every thought. How he downs shots exposes his pretty neck, how his eyes brighten when he smiles for pictures, how soft and big his hands are when you hand him a joint… Ugh. You mentally smack those images out of your head.

There’s a little secret you would take to your grave: the main thing that pisses you off about Taehyun is that he is drop dead gorgeous. It’s just all too unfair. A person can’t be insanely smart and look like an S-tier model. There really should be rules about that. But it’s evident God has favorites, and Taehyun is one of them. Being cross-faded also hasn’t helped with these thoughts. You feel floaty and a bit too…vulnerable. Like everything is threatening to burst from your chest.

The light from the hallway lights up the room for a second as the door opens. It’s the last person you want to see. 

“Taehyun, please. Just leave me alone,” you sigh, not bothering to hide your irritation.

He scoffs, “Happy to see you too,” He closes the door behind him and leans against it.

As you both soak in the silence you can’t help but grow confused by his persistence. How does he just keep popping up everywhere?

“Is there a reason you’ve been following me tonight?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking abou-“ You stand up and get in his face before Taehyun can finish his sentence: just close enough to smell the alcohol on his lips. 

“I’m not stupid, Tae. So please, just tell me what you want.”

He raises his arms up, “Okay, okay. You got me. I’ve just been trying to find a moment to talk: in private.” 

He takes a deep breath. He leans into the door harder, tilting his head back and pinching the bridge of his nose, “Why are you acting like this?”

Your eyebrows scrunch. “Huh?”

“Y/n, you never come to these types of things. I’ve invited you to them plenty of times,” he continues, “then out of the blue, you come with Jun of all people.”

“I know I’m a shut-in, but I’m allowed to have fun every once in a while.” God, how many times is he going to make you roll your eyes tonight?

His face grimaces with an emotion you’re not familiar with, “I’m not saying that. You just never want to…”

You impatiently cut off his sentence, getting closer to him by the doorway. “Want to what?!” 

“You never want to go out with me. You never want to hang out with me. You basically avoid me all the fucking time.”

Taehyun’s arms fall loosely to his sides, “I just don’t get why you hate me so much.” You look up at his face and are hit with a pang of guilt. Is he… actually sad right now?

“I never said I hated you.”

“I can’t help but feel that way. You never talk to me anymore.” 

In the quiet you realize how little space there is between you two. The atmosphere feels dangerous, heavy, and hot. You catch Taehyun sneaking a glance at your lips. You’re scared to see where this goes, scared of breaking the tension.

You bite down, wanting to flee from the guilt and shame bubbling in your stomach. You take Taehyun’s hand and try to pull him off the door to make your escape, but he flips you both. Now you’re pinned in between the door and Taehyun.

“Stop running from me, please.” 

His voice is warm and dark and weak like a dying bonfire. Your body shudders in response. His arm is slammed next to you, propping his body up so he can lean over you. “I’m so tired of chasing after you.” 

He says it so quietly into your ear, you almost convince yourself that you must have misheard him. The only thing that grounds your conviction that you heard correctly is how Taehyun’s free hand softly grips the hair on the back of your head, how his face finds solace in the crook of your neck, how gently his breath grazes that sensitive part of your skin. Suddenly your body feels like it’s on fire, and you’re not sure if you can handle it.

“Tae,” you breathe out softly. “Wait…,” but your objection is only met with the alcoholic heat of Taehyun’s lips. He tastes like the bitter aftertaste of lychee soju and mint chapstick and it knocks the air out of you. You buckle under his weight, instinctively gripping at his shirt for support. He is needy and gasping and crumbling in your hands: a complete 180 from the Taehyun you’re used to.

You manage to separate yourselves, both of your lips bruised and wet. “Tae, wait please!” To your surprise, he listens, but you can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s trying hard to restrain himself. 

“You’re drunk!” You push against him, trying to make more space between you two, but to no avail. “Y-you’re really fucking drunk, and not thinking straight. Let’s not do anything we’ll…” You swallow as you catch a glimpse of Taehyun’s lips, “... regret.”

Taehyun cups your face in his hands and looks at you with so much clarity despite all of the alcohol in his veins. The abrupt roughness of the earlier kiss is contrasted by how gently he holds you. The gravity of his stare lingers in the air for a second until he finally answers.

“I’ll only regret it if you end up regretting it. So tell me clearly that you want me to stop.”

“Wha–?”

“I want you to say it. As clear as day. I’ll give you until the count of three: just tell me you don’t want me and I’ll stop. Otherwise,” he puts his forehead against yours, “I’ll keep doing what I want.”

He starts. “One…”

The room is still and quiet except for your heart knocking against the door, drowning out the muffled music from outside. This should be easy, you think, you just need to tell Taehyun to stop. You say stop, Taehyun stops: simple, logical cause and effect. But despite those thoughts rolling into your brain, something primal in you holds your tongue. The way Taehyun’s woody cologne sticks to your clothes and the desperate way he’s panting after that first kiss makes you ache for more. The way his sculpted body feels under your palms and the way you can tell he’s undressing you with his eyes is all too intoxicating.

“... two…”

Your breathing is in sync with him. Taehyun is holding onto every little sound you make as he finds his way nuzzling back into your neck. He fully leans into you and you feel how hard he is. Your breath hitches and you feel him smile against your skin; his hot length twitches from inside his jeans. It excites you how he responds to your tiniest reactions. Curious to test the waters, you slightly grind against him which earns you a small, restrained groan from his lips. You want to hear him more, want to feel him more. It’s against your better judgment…. 

But remember? You’re not here to be smart: you’re here to make bad decisions.

Taehyun doesn’t even get to three before you crash your lips into his. You wrap your arms around his neck and he takes the opportunity to feel you up as you both blindly stumble to the edge of the bed, not daring to break the kiss as you straddle him. You feel Taehyun impatiently pull at the bottom of your blouse, you smile and untangle yourself from him in response, letting him take off your top. He also takes this time to rip his shirt off of him, and damn: built like a damn Greek statue, carved and polished to perfection. You could have stared at him all night if he didn’t flip you underneath him.

Hovering over you, Taehyun takes a moment to take in the view. His hand traces over the edge of your lace panties. “Wow, did you wear these just for me?” 

You prop yourself up to kiss Taehyun’s cheek. “No,” you playfully pout at him, “but I’m letting you take them off of me. So be thankful.”

He chuckles at your snide comment, “God, I love it when you talk like that.”

Taehyun starts leaving a blazing trail of kisses, saliva, and bites down your neck, taking some time to leave some blooming hickeys around your collarbone. He gets to your chest and while he marks his territory, he reaches underneath you and unclasps your bra. You have no time to marvel at his mastery when you gasp at his tongue swirling around your nipple. His hand makes quick work of your body, gripping and massaging your other breast, lightly pinching your other bud in between his index and thumb. 

You throw your head back in ecstasy, softly sighing. Taehyun takes his time; his mouth switching between your breasts indiscriminately and occasionally taking a break to kiss the valley in between them. While you squirm under his touch, you feel your wet core ache for more. 

“Taehyun…” you whine.

He looks up at you while swirling his tongue around one of your buds. He hums in a questioning tone, refusing to let his mouth leave your body. 

“Taehyun please…need more of you…”

He finally pauses and his smile wickedly spreads across his face, “Tell me what you want, pretty girl.”

“Mouth… please. Can I have your mouth please?”

You feel the heat of Taehyun leave your chest as he gets up to quickly strip your panties off of you. You hold your breath when you feel the chill of the room hit you; everything, everywhere is aching. You just want him to touch you, to taste you. It isn’t until you feel the grip of Taehyun’s strong hands around your thighs and the plump soreness of his lips on your hot core that your breath hitches. 

You grip Taehyun's hair while he pulls you full force to his face. How his tongue laps into you, how he switches to intensely sucking on your clit, how he pants as he places the wettest kisses against your inner thighs. The rhythm of his tongue puts you in a trance as your eyes roll to the back of your head.

Taehyun absolutely loves giving head. He has had his fair share of partners, so his palette is pretty… experienced. But something about you was so addicting. He thought you tasted like heaven; a flavor so delicious, he could imagine savoring it every night and morning. He could keep your thighs clamped around his face all night if you would let him. 

This entire time Taehyun has been pushing you further and further to your bliss. Your body threatens to unravel with every swirl from Taehyun’s tongue, but never quite reaching the tip. However, it all comes crashing down and the coil in your stomach finally snaps the minute he pushes two fingers deep in you. The sounds that escape you are unholy and all you see is white as Taehyun brings you past your orgasm, overstimulating you.

“God, baby, you’re so wet for me already. I was able to fit my fingers in so easily,” he smiles triumphantly at his soaked hand, “Where’s that smart mouth from earlier, huh?”

You whine, riding your drunken high as you grind on his hand. Your walls pulse around him as he thrusts his fingers rhythmically. Happily smiling to himself, he returns his lips to their rightful home: in between your legs, lightly lapping at your clit. Taehyun is having way too much fun now. Your reactions? Your sounds? Your body? Complete, utter perfection. It’s taking every bit of his self-control to not whip out his dick and slam it into your dripping cunt. Every whimper and moan that comes from you makes his cock throb like crazy. 

It’s certain everyone in the hallway knows the room is currently “occupied” even over the blaring music. You’re too lost in all the sensations running through your system to care about your volume. Then, you feel Taehyun’s fingers curl into that magic spot: the spot you can never quite reach by yourself. The spot that usually needs the help of toys and vibes. Still coming down from the crash of your previous orgasm, you instinctively push away from Taehyun’s hand, almost scared of feeling any more pleasure. But this reaction doesn’t escape the devious eyes of the boy in between your legs. 

Taehyun pauses his movements and asks from below, “Can’t take anymore, baby?” His stare softens a bit as he kisses around your thighs.

You’re conflicted; you don’t want this moment to stop, but feel like you might melt into the sheets if you continue. A small whisper leaves your lips, “I-I think I can, it’s… it’s just a lot all at once.”

“Oh baby,” he coos, “but you can take it for me, right?” Before you can answer, his fingers curl up and hit the spot once more. Again, you feel the heat in your lower stomach release and those aching waves envelope your body, even more powerful than last time. You blink away tears from your eyes, digging your nails into Taehyun’s shoulders as you scream out his name. 

Taehyun continues cleaning the honey dripping out of you with his tongue, his cock twitching every time you whimper out a plea for him to fuck you already. Now that you’re ready for him, Taehyun doesn't have to hold back anymore. He tries to hide how eagerly he is stripping off his pants, but you can still tell in your tipsy haze that he is brimming with enthusiasm. However, Taehyun stops as he hovers over you.

“Last chance to back out now, baby.”

You wrap your legs around his waist, “You’re not fucking going anywhere.”

He rubs the tip of his cock along your entrance. He wets his lips, amused by your answer, “Fair enough.”

Even with proper preparation, the stretch is enough to make you arch your back. Taehyun grips the sheets– his knuckles turning white– until he bottoms out inside you. You grip into his back, pulling him flush against you. His brows are furrowed in complete concentration as he buries his face in the crook of your neck. You both stay there for a second, steadying your breaths.

After what feels like an eternity, you adjust to Taehyun’s length and feel ready. However, Taehyun stays still, unmoving.

“Tae… you can move now,” You say, pushing your hips against to demonstrate your willingness.

Taehyun groans, “I know, baby… you just–,” he nearly whimpers, “you just feel really good. Give me a sec…”

A sense of pride swells in your chest. The usually measured, deliberate Kang Taehyun has become a mess just from slipping it in. A coy smile spreads across your face as you wrap your legs around him, pulling him closer.

“Aww, is someone struggling right now? Did I make you feel too good?”

Silence. You feel a slight shift in the air that makes you shiver. Silence. Until Taehyun lifts his chest off of you– pulling back his hips– and looks down at you. His stare makes your blood run cold. One of his hands grips onto the headboard, making him hover you. Taehyun snaps a hard thrust back into you, making you moan in surprise.

“I see that smart mouth I love so much is back,” he icily smiles down, “and I’m going to fuck it out of you.”

There’s no warning, no precaution, as Taehyun brutally begins fucking you into the mattress. He grips the headboard, causing it to knock against the wall in a frantic rhythm. Taehyun’s hips piston into you as you claw into the pillow you lay your head on. With every thrust, you feel yourself clamp around Taehyun’s cock, your mouth agape from the sheer pleasure coursing through you. 

“That’s it, pretty girl. Take all of me,” Taehyun breathes into your neck before taking a long lick along your throat. “How does it feel? Feels good?”

You can’t even form words, you feel like a mindless doll as you frantically nod at Taehyun’s question. You feel him pulse inside you as he flashes you a cocky smile. His hand leaves the headboard, moving so both hands grip into your hips, allowing for more leverage. 

“Bet it fucking does. Fucking you so dumb, you can’t even talk,” He punctuates each word by slamming his full length into you, making you see stars.

With Taehyun’s constant teasing and unruly speed, it doesn’t take long for you to feel your next orgasm peeking from behind the horizon. Your hands reach down, cupping over Taehyun’s on your hips.

You don’t even have to say anything, you look into Taehyun’s eyes and he just knows. Taehyun grabs your knees and pushes them down towards your chest, leaning into you for a searing kiss; it’s filthy and lustful and pushes you right over the edge towards your release. You let out a low moan into Taehyun’s mouth, your walls fluttering around his dick. With that, Taehyun’s force becomes more erratic as he chases his own high. He pulls away from your kiss and starts nipping at your ear. His breathing becomes more shallow and quick each time your hips meet, little sounds escaping his plump lips.

“Fuck, baby, gonna cum in this pretty pussy,” he growls.

A final push and Taehyun stills inside you, releasing a few hot pumps, until he begins to soften. When he pulls out, you can feel the mixture of your arousals spill out of your fucked-out pussy. Taehyun plops down next to you, both of you still coming down from your respective highs. The silence is broken by Taehyun chuckling, pulling you into his arms.

“Yeonjun is going to be so fucking pissed at me,” he laughed. 

You looked up at him in confusion, “Wait, what? Why?”

“Because this is definitely his room.”

Your eyes dart around the room: signed concert posters of bands you recognized on the wall, a closet full of stylish clothes, the bluetooth speaker he always brought to dance practice. Fuck. This was totally Yeonjun’s room.

Your hands shoot up to cover your face, groaning, thinking about how Yeonjun would scold you for getting his bed “dirty”. But your panic subsides as Taehyun presses his lips into your check, giving you a quick peck.

“Ehh, I’m sure it’ll be fine…,” Taehyun hums, flashing you that same cocky smile, “we can talk our way out of it.”

You snuggle into his chest, Taehyun’s smile no longer causing bitterness and resentment to flood your thoughts, but something much warmer… 

“...This is what he gets for not warning me about you coming to the party.”

“Okay… maybe don’t start running that smart mouth next time we see him. I’ll do all the talking, alright?”

[fasolabean]

warninggg this is a long one ,,,

(Okay so I started writing this uhhh vent before more posts on the n//fts appeared later so plz keep that in mind hah)

So I haven’t been too active on here for the past month – a bit personal start, but I’ve moved to a different country whooo!!!! (its terrifying) (my brains been involved in fandom stuff as usual but physically I wasn’t lmao).

But I wanted to talk ab the n//ft (censoring bc idk ab bots here) thing bc while some people on here provided some great context and threads, most of the talk has happened on twitter. So like. Since it was first confirmed what the raffle thing was I was veryyyy disappointed, especially bc K has made fun of this very thing on stage previously. And like yea, the nature of what hes doing is different than the n//ft crypt0 scams, since the cost of the paywalled content is set and not fluid and the raffle thing was free to enter, and I know there have been threads about the website not being the worst on twitter (link) (edit: now here on tumblr too). But still man. Both of these could’ve been done on either an independent website or through stuff like youtube members or patreon. Or hell, even just on the merch store? Like buy a promo code that buys you access to the material?

Also like I get that this was probably a contract that would be rly hard if not impossible to terminate. STILL though, I wish we just got an even short thing like “hi sorry I wasn’t aware this is gonna be a one time thing we’re not doing it again”. I don’t mind extra content being paywalled personally, I know some people do, but I just really wish it wasn’t don’t with that technology. And yes, I also now know it’s a safer way to handle shit like that but I just cant see this excuse being used for commercial use? Like maybe I can see why I could be made to use it for like idk an important document, but a raffle ticket? Nah

I also, ugh. Felt weird about mikke in the team since the winter. This whole thing seems to be – at least to a large extent – either done or influenced by him, judging by even the fact that the europass thingy webpage has oy photomikke marked (no im not buying it but i did look around curiosity was stronger). Also the previous thing that had made me go hmmm about käärijä as a brand was the bnb, which now seems to be ran entirely by mikke and his wife. Like stick to your photos man? That being said tho, Jere IS an adult and he IS the face of this brand. If he doesn’t think hes qualified to make business decisions all by himself (which I get, this shit is hard), nothing is stopping him really from getting a professional to help him with those things. And if there IS something stopping him then hey man I think you should go to the press with that lol. From any interviews ive seen or read, you can feel he feels this responsibility to keep his friends and family that initially helped him afloat. But I wish he understood that not letting people who in the end are not professional about business and PR and having them stick to their own thing does not have to mean cutting them off.

But now I just wanna share a thought that to some might seem like me defending him – which, in case you didn’t get I am very much not lmao. The thing is, im really glad the fandom is able to call him out on a shitty thing – like a bad baaad business decision. You can like somebody’s art, hell you can even like the public person they are, while not agreeing with everything what they do. What annoys me though, is that apart of the kä fandom, he is also often talked about (usually negatively) in the wider esc fandom. Over the past week I’ve seen multiple threads on twitter from people that rarely ever mention him about this. That would’ve been like, not that much of a deal (though sometimes it really got… engagement bait-y) but the amount of bodyshaming and shaming of his fans that comes up with every valid criticism is making me wanna pull my hair out.

Especially cause he’s neither the first finnish esc-related artist to do that (Robin and Cyan Kicks are mentioned on the kollekt website) nor is he the first esc artist of his influence to do it either. Last year Loreen and Alessandra have released n//fts last year, and Loreen did a very similar raffle a couple months ago. Now I wanna be very clear: I don’t want this to be like. Cancelling these people, that would be so hypocritical of me. I also don’t want this to be like a fandom war like oh youre mad he did xyz?? Well THIS and THIS person did THAT!!1! I’m just merely annoyed that these people doing essentially the same thing went with no echo at all, but now I’ve seen us (the fandom) be literally called the r slur and the most vile things being said about jere and, for some reason, his appearance???

Idk man. I really try to  make it clear im not trying to excuse his decisions and I think being angry and/or disappointed at him is absolutely understandable. Im just angry that every single time he fucks up, every single time he makes a mistake, my timeline is filled with a wave of people rejoicing in it. I know he’s a controversial figure, he’s been one since day one, but I just wish he’s gotten the same amount of shit his peers do for the same actions? And this happens every time, and each time im like “well ig I can see why hes so bad when it comes to criticism”. Because imagine doing a thing that your peers have done with no/minimal criticism and then the moment you try it out you get people calling your fans slurs and commenting how stupid you are. Like ngl id also think any criticism was hate lmao.

Again I wanna be very VERY clear im very critical ab what he chose to do. I wish he took some responsibility – and hope he maybe does, at some point in the future. This year has been a whole lot of bad business decisions for the käärijä brand in my eyes, and I hope he can actually see where its gone wrong and do something about it, both for his and our sake. I am also happy to see fellow fans who are able to call out their fave. But man I am TIRED of him just getting all the shit (from people who very visibly fans are not)?? And now I have the proof that it is comparably more than other people and not just my bias towards him because wdym there’s been at least 4 esc artists, 2 of which more famous than him, and 2 umk artists doing exactly the same thing with almost no echo??

TLDR (thishasover1kwordsfuckshit); I wish he did better, simply. I kinda cling to some hope that maybe hey finally this time he will see that criticism can be constructive. I think this is still a level of fucking up that you can like, come back from. Pity it’s connected to the eurotour since kinda souring my excitement ab my first concert in a new country a bit :(

[alovesongtheywrote]

hiii girlie!! it’s my birthday HAHA can i please get a nightmare academia part?? thank youuu 🫶

♥ Summary: SORRY I MISSED YOUR BIRTHDAY!! iirc, i got this like. right in the middle of finals season. i am so sorry :( to compensate, i have provided a holiday update!! In this chapter of Nightmare Academia, it's the holiday season and Reid pulls a lil prank.

♥ Warnings: holidays, Wham's Last Christmas

♥ A/N: this is really just a holiday blurb im ngl. happy holiday special ig!! (also. i didn't edit this. my bad lol)

♥ Word Count: 600

Series Masterlist

♥♥♥

The winter seasons were always an interesting time to be a professor.  The campus was decorated with trees and lights.  Fliers advertised Hanukkah and Christmas gatherings.  The students were so stressed and burnt out that they moved through life with a weird sort of festive calm. 

This year, that festive calm had taken on a new feature- your students wouldn’t stop playing Wham’s Last Christmas.  

You had nothing against the song.  All things considered, you liked Wham.  You liked Last Christmas.  It just got a touch annoying when the song played on a constant loop through various shitty phone speakers.  All the time.  Every day.

You weren’t sure what caused it- what earthly force could convince a bunch of college kids to listen to that infernal song so frequently?  What could get them to set Last Christmas to their ringtones?  You were pretty sure most of them hadn’t used ringtones before December.  To put it bluntly- you were confused, tired, and suspicious.  You were also ready to scream.

So you did!

“Holy shit, if I have to hear that fucking song again, I might literally explode.”

Reid looked up at you as you burst into your shared office.  His eyes were wide, as if your pre-loaded rant about Wham’s Last Christmas had caught him off guard.  

If it had, that was honestly on him.  You were only about a week into December, and you had already complained about the thing seventy-six times and counting.  If Spencer didn’t remember that, then his special boy memory powers had clearly failed him.

“Well, you wouldn’t literally explode,” Reid corrected, clearly recovered from his shock, “That’s a common mistake.  You would actually-”

“Reid, stop it before I feed you to the ghost of George Michael.”

He held up his hands in surrender, though a smile played across his lips.  You glared at that little grin as vines of suspicion tangled with the fleshy meat of your brain.

“Did you have something to do with this?”

“Whatever do you mean, Doctor?”

“I mean,” you slammed your hands down on Reid’s desk, “Are you the reason I cannot escape that fucking song?”

He leaned back in his chair, weaving his long, slender fingers together like some fucking anime villain, “And how would I pull that off?”

“Easily.  You’re you, and it’s the perfect crime.  All it would take is the promise of extra credit, and your students would do anything.  You think I haven’t noticed that the student body suddenly loves playing Wham?  Out loud?  Without headphones?”

Spencer’s grin got bigger, “Wow.  I’m sorry that your students have been using technology in a distracting and upsetting manner.  I can’t imagine what that’s like.”

“Spencer Reid, I am going to kill you.  I’m gonna choke you out with Christmas lights.  Seriously.”

He leaned in, “Are you literally going to kill me?”

“Fuck you, Reid.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

You snorted out a laugh, “You wouldn’t survive me, pretty boy.  Now, have you seen the essays my cybercrime class wrote?  They were on my desk.”

“Here-” he said, reaching for one of the desk’s many drawers.  That ended the conversation as the topic drifted to your students and the general category of crime that involved techy-whecy bullshit.  

In the weeks that followed, the volume on Spencer’s prank was turned down.  The students played it less and less, and the campus generally hummed with other holiday themed music until the break hit.  The day after it did, a package arrived on your doorstep.

A lovely vinyl copy of Wham’s Last Christmas.  

You were gonna kill Spencer Reid.

♥ Tags: @icarusignite, @usuallyunlikelyfox, @maraudersforlife2005, @fictionalcomforts, @morgthemagpie, @iiheartbowie, @digitalhearts, @corpsebridenightamare, @ghostatrixx, @reiding-writing, @mywellspringoflife, @80katie, @ms-ks-world, @currentfications, @ilse235, @emagen, @foolishwaitersblog if you asked to be tagged and i forgot, pls let me know!! if you would like to be tagged and aren't, also let me know :D

[midnightsnyx]

what if i told you (i love you) part 2 - joel miller

pairing: joel miller!fem reader

chapter summary: when joel and ellie's stay turns out to be longer than expected, you have to figure out how you're going to deal with having him around. word count: 1.9k warnings: insinuated smut, angst, mentions of death, mentions of abortion, little bit of fluff(?), and ellie being a cool big sister! let me know if i missed anything please. also this isn't edited lol sorry authors note: GUYS!!!! WHAT THE HECK! thank you all so so so much from the very bottom of my heart for all the love on the story. comments, reblogs, and likes feed my angsty writing soul <3 y'all are the best! please take caution to the warnings for this chapter and read safely <3 if anyone wants to send thoughts, suggestions ect, here is my ask box. and lastly, if you want to be added to my tag list please fill out this super short form here <3 oh one more thing! I know last chapter was in past tense but I hate writing that unless I’m doing flashbacks so from now on, it’s all present tense unless I do a flashback

masterlist what i write series masterpost

Boston 2018

The first time you could blame it on the bad liquor. The second time, you could say it was the adrenaline from nearly getting killed by a pack of clickers but the third time you found yourself underneath Joel Miller, there was nobody to blame but yourself. You’d been working with him and Tess for a couple years and always thought the two of them were together. However, while on a supply run with just Tess about a year after you met them, you discovered that while there was an initial attraction, things were strictly business between them. You really had no plans to deal with the man further than supply runs and trades but after you had a taste of what could be, you didn’t want to go without. 

You knew that things weren’t exclusive and never would be. It was simply a way for the both of you to blow off steam in this shitty world so after you missed your period not once, but twice, you realized that things might be more complicated than you had planned. Approaching Joel about the situation was not something you were looking forward to so you confided in Tess, who after scolding you, said you had two options. She knew a person who “took care of these problems” and could get your situation resolved with little to no damage or you could do what she thought was unfair, and bring a new life into the world that had become so cruel, most didn’t want to live anyway. You weighed your options for about a week, avoiding Joel whenever he tried to get you alone because all you wanted to do was blurt out that you were pregnant to get it off your chest but somehow, you knew how he would react. 

Everybody had lost someone during the outbreak and although it was never confirmed by Joel, you knew he’d lost a child. Somewhere inside you, there was a small hope that maybe this tiny little life inside you could help fill some of the void but it was smashed when you eventually told him.

His cold expression and cold words were hurtful but not unexpected. 

“How could you be so careless?” 

You’d argued with him for over an hour, the whole “it takes two to tangle” argument but eventually you had enough and told him if he wanted nothing to do with it, this was the time because you weren’t going to wait around forever. So when his last words to you were “leave”, you decided then and there that you were done with Joel Miller. You’d waited a few weeks after Tess asked you to even though you knew that he wouldn’t come around. The day you left, you said goodbye to Tess, telling her where you planned to go and told her if Joel asked about you, not to tell him anything. If you could help it, you planned to never see Joel again.

Jackson, Wyoming 2023

Much to your dismay, Joel is at the dining hall the next morning. He’s sitting with Tommy and Ellie but you can feel his eyes on you while you watch Jack eat his breakfast. It’s like a repeat of yesterday, only this time you’re worried that Hazel may have actually poisned his food. She grumbled when he walked in the doors but didn’t say much. 

Ellie eventually makes her way over to where you and Jack are sitting, shyly asking if she can sit with you and play with Jack. You hesitate but Jack gives you puppy eyes and you can never say no to him. Some of his facial expressions always reminded you of Joel but with the man actually being here now, you’re noticing it much more. You look over at him and his eyes are locked on the three of you sitting together so you look back at Ellie.

“So…” you begin, waiting for her to look up at you and when she does, you can see the mischievous look in her eyes. 

“You’re gonna ask me about Joel,” she grins, “y’know, he was talking to Tommy about you last night. They thought I was asleep but there was a lot of yelling.” 

“What exactly were they saying?” you ask, and she looks back at Jack, taking the piece of food he offers her. 

“I dunno, Joel was grumpy that Tommy didn’t tell him that you were here but Tommy told Joel that you didn’t want him to know,” she says, “he’s always grumpy though, so that’s nothing new.” 

You weren’t planning on asking her but you’re dying to know how exactly Joel ended up dragging a teenager all the way to Wyoming. 

“What’s the deal with you and Joel?” you ask, “not a long lost kid, are you?” 

She just laughs and shakes her head, “nah, I mean he acts like a dad but he’s just fulfilling a request from someone. I’m just cargo.” 

She says it non-chalantly but something in her expression changes, so small you barely notice. It’s there though but before you can question her further, she turns the tables back to you.

“What the deal with you and Joel? I mean, clearly the kid is his… did he-”

“Ellie,” a voice cuts in and you both jump, not noticing that Joel somehow snuck up on the both of you. Before either of you can answer, a little voice speaks up.

“Hi,” Jack says, waving at Joel who once again, looks shocked that there’s a child there. The boy offers him a handful of mushed up fruit and you watch as Joel hesitantly accepts it. 

You’ve watched Joel take down countless clickers and raiders so it amuses you that a toddler scares him. 

Jack takes a loud slurp of his water and tries to hand it to Joel before you take it from him, rolling your eyes. Ellie is watching the interaction with amusement and you can even see Tommy from across the hall, watching closely. 

“Who’re you?” Jack asks, trying to pass Joel more food. You take his plate, ignoring his grumbling. Another thing that Jack does that reminds you of Joel are his mood swings. Some days he is a chatterbox and others, you can barely get a peep out of him. Those days, he reminds you of Joel. 

When Joel looks at you, this time with panic written across his face, you shrug. You’re beginning to find this amusing because who knew all it would take is a toddler to break the big Joel Miller.

“Ellie, I have to go with Tommy for a bit. Don’t leave the four walls of this town,” he points at her when she raises her hands in defense, “I told Maria to keep an eye on you.”

“Don’t worry old man, I think I’ll hang out with these two,” she tells him but then shyly looks at you, “if that's alright.” 

You nod and watch as her face lights up. She goes back to talking to the little boy sitting next to her and you look at Joel who is shifting uncomfortably. 

“Uh, thanks,” he mumbles without looking at you before quickly walking back to Tommy. You watch the two of them leave, the older man casting one more glance you way before his brother pats him on the back firmly.

“He’s got it bad for you,” Ellie says absently, “like real bad. Were you two like, together?”

You stare at her for a solid minute, wondering where the hell this kid came from. Was she this blunt before? Or has Joel corrupted her?

“It’s complicated, and a long story.”

“Is it longer than a week? ‘Cause I think that’s how long we’re staying,” she says and you hide a frown. You’re still trying to find out exactly why they’re here and now you find out they’re only staying a week? You can’t decide if you are relieved or disappointed. 

“Why don’t we go for a walk?” You offer, wanting to get out of this conversation because talking about your non existent relationship with Joel to a 14 year old is at the bottom of your to-do list. “Jack likes seeing the sheep and horses.”

Ellie grins and you can’t help but smile when she offers her hand to Jack who accepts it eagerly. You can tell she’s trying to fill a void and you’re beginning not to mind.

. . .

Later that night after Jack is long asleep, you sit outside on your porch wrapped up in a winter jacket and blanket. It’s cold but you need some fresh air to try and get your thoughts straightened out. Ellie tried to bring up yours and Joel’s history multiple times but eventually gave up on it once she realized you weren’t going to say anything. You haven’t seen Joel since this morning, spending the day with Ellie and Jack, then eating dinner and dropping the girl off at the house she and Joel are staying at before going back to your own and putting your kid to bed.

Joel showing up out of the blue is bringing back too many memories, some good but some bad. 

Suddenly, a voice breaks you out of your thoughts and you curse Joel Miller again for sneaking up on you. Being in Jackson so long is making you let your guard down too much.

“Hey,” he says, standing at the bottom of your porch steps awkwardly, “the kid gone to bed?” 

Small talk. He is trying to make small talk. 

“What do you want, Joel?” You ask shortly, half wanting to leave before he says anything else but if he is seeking you out, you want to know what he is looking for from you.

“I, uh, I wanted to say thanks,” he says stumbling over his words, “for entertaining Ellie today. She was real pleased-”

“I didn’t do it for you,” you snap, “she’s a good kid.”

He just nods, staring at the ground and scuffing his boots on the dirt. You watch as he clears his throat and looks up at you, a sadness in his eyes that you’re not sure you’ve ever seen.

“Tess is gone,” he says, and even though you had your suspicions since she’s not with him and he travelling all the way here, his words feel like a punch in the stomach. 

“How?” 

“She got bit on our way here,” he tells you and you just nod, swallowing back tears. Six years ago, you might’ve let him comfort you but all you want now is to yell or scream at him. Ellie wouldn’t tell you why they were here or why she was with Joel and you know you won’t get anything out of him. You know the only reason for his late night visit is to break the news about Tess.

When you stand up, his mouth opens to protest but he just offers you the closest thing he has to a smile. It’s pitiful. 

You turn to walk inside but his voice stops you. Refusing to look at him, you pause but stay facing the door.

“He seems like a good kid,” he says quietly and you know he’s referring to Jack.

There’s a million things you can say to him, you can turn around and yell or scream at him. You could ask him why? Why did you push me away when I needed you? Why didn’t you want Jack? What hurt you so bad, that you couldn’t accept him?

Instead, you walk inside your house and close the door behind you.

. . .  

tag list: @sloanexx @wandering-poetess @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibii

@chiogarza @jellybeanxc @iranispunk @imonmykneessir @wakaladjarin @sleepylunarwolf @pedropascalfan221 @abovenyx

@starjoyyy @shuriri4life @cavillary

if i didn't tag you & you asked to be, it's cause you didn't show up when i tried! if it didn't work, msg me & we'll figure it out :)

[virydia]

Hi! so sorry to bother u lol and i’m sorry if you’ve already answered but what app do you use to draw? I finally saved up and have an i pad and pencil and i was gonna get procreate and i saw it was 13$… i dont mind getting it if it’s worth it but is it? Do you use it? If not then what app would you recommend? This is my first time digitally drawing btw i’ve drawn on paper before! Also honestly any tips on general on drawing digital would mean a lot! :) thank you and i hope you fave a fabulous day! 🫶🫶🫶

My such high praise 🫣 thank you so much!!

I’d say procreate is very much worth it! Though I do have some qualms about it such as it’s limited layers (depending on your canvas size) and the fact that you can’t select/edit a group (you have to do it individually, but there are workarounds)

Another one you can try is ClipStudioPaint, I don’t personally use it but my friend does and what’s cool is that if you have it on pc, from what I’m told you can connect your account on mobile and pc for a cross platform situation

Aside from procreate I also use PaintToolSai2 for pc when I’m streaming and I usually have like 50+ layers per artwork, so it was definitely a huge adjustment when I first started using procreate 😂

As for tips, definitely find references if you can! I usually use a 3D app called poseit (mobile) or posemyart (web) and it has helped me significantly! (My 3D animator ass can’t live without them now 🥲) though I don’t always follow the pose I make to a T, it’s there to help me visualize the bits and pieces I can see in my brain 😂

My process usually goes like this:

vague Shitty thumbnail —> reference/3D posing —> art

But honestly my best advice is just keep drawing and have fun with it, no need to think too much, never stop learning new things and if you have a hyper fixation that’s even better 😂

[whatsnewalycat]

This is gonna come out clumsy and like me being a big cry baby probably but idk here we go.

My entry point into the pedro fandom was reading fanfics, then I felt inspired enough to start writing stories I wanted to read. Before I started reading fics, though, I hadn’t been able to read a story for years and years, maybe a decade or more lol. I managed to get through Dreamcatcher by Stephen King in three years, and I listened to audiobooks, but reading is incredibly challenging for me because of ADHD. So I was really stoked that the adhd brain accepted my attempts to read fanfiction.

Once I started writing fanfics, it’s like that switch turned off. I try to read things, and sometimes I’m able to, but it’s like herding cats in my brain. And it sucks because I’ve made these connections with other writers here in this fandom, and I want to read their things and contribute and be encouraging, but I just cannot sometimes. It makes me feel like a shitty friend and a bad representative of this fandom, which is a me problem I know that.

Idk. I guess this is just an acknowledgement… I’m not good about reading and reblogging other people’s stories. And I hate that. And I’m sorry.

If you’re a fellow writer, it doesn’t mean I don’t support you or think you fucking rule or anything like that, it’s just that my brain won’t let me even though I really want to.

Sometimes I think about recording myself reading fics to add a new interesting dimension that might appease the adhd gods. Also sometimes I think about how doing that might be a way for other people who have difficulties with reading to access fics. But that would involve audio editing and boy howdy do I have no fucking clue what that all entails.

Anyway. Until I have this breakdown again, xoxo, aly.

[eddieydewr]

imo it's very ironic that a show made for the marginalised kids and is very anti bullying has so many bullies who are marginalising the exact communities they claim to support.

what are ur thoughts on this?

i agree! people like them only watch the show, and “participate” in the fandom to bully and criticise, is because a lot of the cast are visually appealing. for them, it’s usually millie, finn, sadie, natalia, and joe keery.

their mindset is like this -> mlvn MUST ‘make love’ in s5 bc they need to be able to see fillee ~doing it too for their edits (and more) • they don’t want to see anything between joyce and hop bc they are hags (even though they are attractive people, especially winona) • st@ncy MUST be endgame bc they are pretty people and rich. impoverished jonathan who? • people who ship henderhop are LIARS and only claim to ship them so el doesn’t get in the way of byler (definitely nothing to do with being unable to see dustin/gaten in a relationship due to ableism. duzie don’t count, sorry. they don’t have a physical scene together so they’re easy to ship or disregard lol) • dirty and smelly trailer trash eddie munson is ugly and cringe because their fans are embarrassing the fandom (???) with their devil horns while being fat, ugly, poor, jobless, etc., just like their fav! but they (and non ST viewers) have warmed up to joseph quinn because he’s attractive and is making it in hollywood • and will! just like eddie, he is too obsessed with dnd, is chronically bitchless even though he canonically pulls girls without trying despite the fact he’s into men (and mike). like all the shitty CW shows they watch, will will die a very homophobic death or end up loveless and lonely like a f@g! homophobically. while mike and el get married in the village with the 3 waterfalls and have a son named willy in disgraced memory of some guy they knew once, idk. not to mention he’s portrayed by… drum roll pls… the zionist! gasp. imagine if byler happens and gamze’s precious baby finn has to put his lips on that (insert antisemitic and homophobic slur here) MAN.

it just doesn’t bear thinking about! it’ll be hellfire (heh) if things don’t go their way. they are normal, unlike us!!

conclusion: ST is a mid CW show with pretty actors and they watch it on a surface level to fulfil their flvn desires, with their fingers crossed that ugly will schnapp, wait no, noah byers?? gets pwned BIG TIME! and die horribly. it’s what he deserves for spoiling the El Show; they want to see el do her Scream and Save the Day thing again, while mike is dumbstruck by her powers and thus hero worship, due to his own feelings of inferiority; because of his dwindling mental health and being unable to admit that he feels something for his best friend but is lowkey aware of his attraction to men (eddie) and the fact that he felt like he died too when he saw will’s “body” in the quarry too corny? and steve… ah steve, we like steve! with his bouffant hair, and his outrageous levi’s clad ass. while getting beat half to death as a running gag. someone give him an MRI pls.

ps. it doesn’t matter what we watch the show for, but the people we’re discussing, i feel like they’re not getting it. which is fine ig. but that doesn’t excuse their behaviour in the fandom, they don’t even enjoy fandom and think we’re just delulu, breaking THEIR LAW if we ignore canon, whether it’s actually canon or not, lmao.

[blkkizzat]

Hey lovely. Long time no anon! I've had a shitty day. Not from anything in particular. I'm just PMSing real fuckin hard and my body fuckin hates me so! The excellent news is that my book is almost finished (about 4 chapters left til major editing). The better news is that I am about to get myself wine drunk, watch a few episodes of the boys season 4. The most absolutely horrendous amount of smut in one night. That being said...

I'm thinking.

Which JJK man is the most sensitive to you having a shitty day? Like no real reason. Nothing happened. The day just sucked.

We all know it's Nanami. Buuuuutt I feel like Geto would surprise us. Like he seems like he doesn't really care about shit. And maybe he doesn't but he's phenomenal at faking it. Like Geto wants to relax with us. Make the day feel less shitty. So he runs a bath for two. With episom salts cause he knows how to make you feel good. When we get out. He puts lotion on us first. Helps us through a nighttime routine. Tells is it'll all look better in the morning. Wakes us up with cunnilingus and a smirk that said 'I told you it would look better in the morning'

- a very drained 🧠

awe 🧠, babie doll im sorry you are feeling worn down. we moon cycle twins though cause im pmsing too. had a bad headache yesterday, feeling better today tho so i hope you are too!!

omg i just finished the boys s4 like a week ago! be sure to tell me what you think once you're done, shit is poppin AWF lmfao.

but yas you know nanami has a sixth sense to our needs, that goes without saying. he already knows our favorite everything and has a plan on deck to make the remaining hours of the day wonderful for us.

Also i love your hc on geto because to me he also gives twin energy in the sense of he wants to relax and experience things with you, so y'all also have matching robes and pjs for after the bath.

choso will have puppy energy. so he will def notice almost as quickly as nanami but his way of making you feel better is to cling to you, reassure you, very vocally expressive and will totally lift you up in that way. he's also an empath so if you are crying he will cry with you and hold you so you just feel very much seen, understood and validated.

gojo i think he would be rather clueless. like it would take a few lackluster responses for him to notice but once he realizes hes definitely trying to cheer you up. no one can make you laugh like him so he's doing or saying something stupid and you're now crying from gut busting giggles fits rather than whatever went wrong that day.

toji is actually likely more perceptive than nanami tbh. the reason for that is because of body language shifts which he notices because of the uber enhanced perception from heavenly restriction. however the problem is he doesn't know what to do from there. he doesn't wanna come off crass and piss you off more. and if he makes a crude joke at an attempt at humor and you cry more that would be even worse. i think though sense he would be able to sense the tension in you and as his love language is definitely physical touch—he would likely wordlessly just pull you into his arms and give you a huge bear hug. you know how weighted blankets soothe people? like that. he's like a huge weighted blanket and he's not gonna let you go until he feels you completely relax in his arms. trueform!sukuna is just as perceptive tbh, he just doesn't care. i feel like he expects everyone to be as self-sufficient and self-regulate emotions by not expressing them (lol toxic) like he does. however he also knows everyone falls short of him so he will give you your space to mop, cry, etc. thinking you are weak so you just need to let it out. However, i do imagine if you'd been moping longer than usual or to the point that it annoys him, he will try to comfort you in his own way. i feel that would be the way of giving you something to do for him. sukuna probably figures you must be bored if you have the time to waste being sad. i imagine he'd make you read to him or maybe even have you draw him a bath which he'd consequently would just drag you into. or perhaps he'd just blend ur guts up on his two cocks... you wanna cry? he'd give you something to cry about.

tail floofs to make you feel better babes <333

[emilymaxximoff]

Souls Don't Meet on Accident; Rafe Cameron X Fem!Reader; Part 2 

CW: Angst, Language, Fluff, Classism, Ward Cameron (cause ew), 18+ MDNI

Description: Life sucks lately and your boyfriend Rafe Cameron has done some pretty messed up things. Despite this you still love him and will do anything to help him. As his life continues to crumble you prove that despite all the shit you have to go through, sometimes people are just meant to find each other.

Word Count: 2149

A/N: I've decided this is gonna be a longer story and with that said I'm doing foreshadowing and cliff hangers! (gasp) I know right fancy. I'm super excited for this and I'm kinda proud of how this is turning out. This edition is a lot of filler but I think it's important information and there's gonna definitely be some smut coming up. I'm gonna develop the relationship between the reader and the other pouges more so I hope you guys enjoy and if you do it would mean so much to me if you would repost to get it out there more. Love ya! (Excuse the wait I have finals this week on top of my shitty personal life lol.)

Part 1 Part 3

Your eyes blinked open gently and you looked around the disheveled room you lay in. Memories of the night before came to your mind. You thought about how last night you had come to see your boyfriend high and absolutely distraught. You remembered how you had flushed the rest of his coke down the toilet and how he had thrown a mug and how it had shattered on the wall. Your eyes hurt from crying so much last night. The sun was just starting to come up and you felt Rafe shift next to you.

You got out of the soft bed, being careful not to wake Rafe. You crept across the floor and went to the bathroom. You splashed the cold water on your face and looked in the mirror, grimacing at your bed head. You went downstairs to go grab some coffee and some toast.

"Hey Y/N." you heard from behind you, looking around to see Sarah standing behind you. "How are you doing?" she asked, giving you a sympathetic look.

"Hey Sarah. Honestly not that great. I'm still scared. I'm afraid I can't do enough to make sure he stays clean or protect him from Ward." you said quietly. "I just want us to be happy."

"I get that." she comforted. "But this shouldn't be on you. I'm sorry it is though. Is he up?"

"No I'm about to go get him up."

"Ok before you go up I have something to ask you."

"Yeah, what's up Sarah?"

"My dad said something the other day about Rafe kicking his ass into gear about ummm... something he asked dad for. He was talking to Rose and apparently he asked for a family heirloom and I don't really know what it is but I'm hoping he didn't sell it to get the coke yesterday. I just was thinking that if it is what I think it is if you could stay with him?" she stubbled over her words, being very unclear.

"I mean I hope he didn't sell it. I can see him doing that if he was desperate again. I think he probably got the money from the stack of cash I could find when I got the coke from his dresser yesterday so whatever it is he probably still has it. But to the question if I could stay with him, I'm gonna stay no matter what. He is the love of my life. I don't know if he could do anything to change that, beside like cheating on me or something but I don't think that will ever happen." you responded, responding to her makeshift question the best you could.

"Oh no that's not happening. He keeps a fucking picture of you in his wallet and his car visor. He's never gonna cheat but I'm just saying, do you think you could go on with him? You just said last night that you don't know how much longer you can go on like this."

"I'm not going anywhere Sarah. I swear. I think he needs rehab or some shit like that but like he might be able to do it from home."

"Ok. Thanks Y/N." she smiled.

"Anytime Sarah. I'm gonna go wake him up now." you replied, turning around and walking up the stairs with the coffee and toast.

You opened the door to see Rafe sitting up and looking around. "Shit Y/N I thought you left. I freaked for a second." Rafe said, sighing in relief.

"No I just went down to get food and coffee and food. I also stopped to talk to Sarah really quick." you said setting his food down on the bed and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Once you finish that, go shower. You stinky." you joked.

Rafe let out a small puff of air through his nose in amusement.He was happy you were still joking with him. It, in a way, showed him you still loved him. "Jezz. So mean." he smiled.

You rolled your eyes and moved to start picking up the pieces of pottery on the floor. Rafe got up from his place on the bed and tried to help but you objected and stopped him. "Just eat your food Rafe I'll clean up the mug. You need to take a shower and then we have shit to do. I have to talk to you."

"I made the mess I'll clean it up." Rafe replied, trying to help. "You should just rest. You've already done more than you needed."

"Rafe stop if you're not gonna eat just go shower. I'm fine." you said, harsher than you meant to.

"I'm- I'm sorry I'll just go shower then." Rafe said backing up. You could hear hurt from your harshness but Rafe understood why you were still upset. He had crossed a line again and you had been so nice about it.

"Rafe, I'm sorry I just need to do this by myself." you said, trying to sound a lot nicer.

"It's fine I get it. I'll let you get to it. Just ask if you need anything."

Rafe walked into the bathroom and you heard him start the shower as you sighed, trying to still hold it together. Your phone started to ring and you got up to grab it off the nightstand where you had left. It you looked at the bought screen and saw that it was JJ. You hit the green answer button and put the phone up to your ear.

"Hey J, what's up?" you said.

"Yo Y/N I texted you like 10 times in the past 20 minutes and you didn't respond. Are you doing ok?" he said quickly.

"Yeah I'm fine sorry. I just am.... ummm.... dealing with something right now."

"Where are you? I'll come get you and we can talk about it."

"No J. I'm fine. I don't need you to come get me I promise. What did you text me about."

There was a long pause.

"Are you with Rafe?"

"Yeah, why?" you asked, trying to play dumb.

"Y/N, you know what he's done I thought you had cut him off."

"No I didn't. I know he fucked up more times than I can count but I don't see him as the monster that you guys do. He just needs help. Trust me."

"He beat the shit out of me and Pope. How can you still stand by him?"

"Yeah I know he fucked up. He had no right and trust me he got his ass beat for that one. Ward almost killed him. I can't just leave him J. I love him and he needs me."

"What the fuck Y/N? How do you not see the fucking problem with that."

"Yeah I do but it's not that simple. And Sarah gets it. I can't stop ok. I promise I'll keep him as tame as possible. I swear."

"Whatever Y/N. If you decide you don't want to hang out with that prick later, I'll be at John B's place. We're gonna have a bonfire."

"Thanks J. I'll try to be there. I love you. Talk to you later."

"Bye. I love you too despite your terrible fucking life choices."

You hung up with JJ and went to go get the vacuum to clean the short carpet of Rafe's room. In the hallway you see Ward walking down the stairs, presumably going to his office. You could help but see red, so angry about how he treated his own son. It took everything in you to not just push him down the stairs. Instead you reluctantly gave him a haphazard grin and nodded your head at him.

"Y/N, dear! Thank god you got Rafe in check." Ward exclaimed. "I don't know what I'd do without you. Maybe try to get his ass in gear too Y/N while you're at it."

"No problem Mr. Cameron. I just want the best for him." you said quietly, not meeting his gaze.

"Oh please Y/N. We are on a first name basis. Only my business associates and my enemies call me Mr. Cameron." he chuckled. "Anyway tell Rafe in there that he needs to use his head when making decisions next time, or better yet just do whatever I say. He doesn't need anymore smart guy ideas. He'll know what I mean."

You looked up at him nodding and signaling that you would tell him when, in fact, you would not. Rafe already knew how much he had fucked up and how mad his dad was. As you parted ways you turned back and made one last remark to Ward. "Hey Ward. Despite what everyone thinks, he really is trying his hardest. He has your best interest at heart even though he might not be good at. He wants to make you proud."

"Thanks for the insight." Ward chuckled sarcastically.

"I think he could learn a lot from that investors dinner that you told me about last week. Just tell him to be quiet and observe."

"I don't know. It's tonight and with everything that happened last night, I don't know if I can trust his dumbass."

"I think you can. I'll help him get ready and pep talk him."

Ward looked skeptically at you, contemplating your words carefully. Honestly, you just needed something for Rafe to do while you were at John B's tonight. Even though you didn't want Rafe to be alone with Ward you knew it would mean the world if he thought, for just a moment, that his dad loved him and wanted him to be apart of the business.

"Y/N, tell me with absolute honesty and harshness, do you think he can handle it? This is a big account and I know one day he'll have to take over but I can't lose this account. If I do this whole family is even more fucked than it already is." Ward said walking towards you again.

You paused. If you talked him through it, he probably could but it was a lot of pressure. "Yes. I think he can. He really wants to make you happy."

Ward rolled his yes and sighed before saying "Ok. Tell him to be ready by 5. I'm trusting you Y/N."

----------

You spent the rest of the day helping Rafe calm down more and get ready for his dinner with Ward and the investors. He spent at least an hour picking out a suit and freaking out over a wrinkle in his shirt. It was cute seeing him worry and get excited over his dad but conceding knowing Ward.

Rafe looked in his mirror and straightened his coat one last time before facing you and looking for approval. "So how do I look?"

"Wonderful as usual." you said cupping his faith and gazing into his eyes.

Rafe looked into your eyes giving you a questioning look before asking, "What's wrong? I can see it in your eyes. Something's up."

You sighed. "Rafe I need you to listen to me. You can't fuck this up. Please just do whatever your dad says. I have faith in you but I just really need you understand how important it is to keep it together. Please, Please, Please. I'm worried about your safety if something bad happens. I don't trust how far Ward will go if he gets mad."

A tear fell down your cheek as you begged him silently to honestly listen to you. Rafe gently wiped the tear off your face with his thumb and kissed you softly before he rested his forehead on yours.

"I promise Y/N. I'll be careful."

"Good."

"Are you gonna be ok here by yourself?"

You removed your forehead from his and looked up at him before giving a reluctant smile to help break the news. "Actually, I'm going to John B's with Sarah. JJ called earlier and invited me and I knew Sarah was going so I just figured I'd ride with her. My car is still there anyway. I swear if you need anything, even if it's in the middle of the event, call me. I'll stay sober and I'll keep my phone on me."

He gave you a disappointed look. "Seriously? You're hanging with those dirtbags still."

"Hey I live on the cut too. I'm not exempt from that group."

"You know that I didn't mean it like that. You don't try to steal from my dad. They wouldn't even talk to you still if they knew about us."

"They know, Rafe. I'm not a lair. And you beat the shit out of them too."

"Fine but I still don't like it. I'd rather you stay up on Figure Eight more."

"Tough shit. I do what I want like it or not."

"Ok killer. Have as much fun as you can with assholes."

I promise the next part will be longer and better besties! Also not proofread like at all I'm just trying to get it out.

[avi-on-jumblr]

taking that message way too seriously because why not. I think this bit really shows that it’s probably a bot

‘hamas numbah one!!!! hezbollah close second!!!

death to america!! kill those fascist pigs!

unlimited genocide on the first world

*bong rip*’

It’s just so unnatural, that’s not how people talk at all (wether fluent or not). ‘Bong rip’ is very weird, it’s not a term I’ve heard before and it doesn’t sound like something a person would just randomly put in hate mail

Now, for what kind of bot. This definitely isn’t a western right winger, support for Islamic fundamentalism is not their style at all. Death to America is also definitely not what a MAGA person would say probably (idk us politics sorry). So that leaves alt leftist (probably western) and alt right wingers (middle eastern edition). One thing we know for sure is that the bot hates Jews. Fits right in on this site!

Alt leftists also don’t really say stuff in this way, although the views displayed here are similar to theirs. They dress it up in more social justice-y language, there’s a very popular idea of ‘justice is coming’, and in the same tone that evangelicals talk about the rapture. Also, saying you want a ‘genocide’ is a huge no no in leftist spaces, you have to say ‘death to every coloniser!’ and that magically makes calling for the killing of millions (billions if we’re saying everyone in a developed country is one) totally cool! Alt leftists also tend to be a little quieter about their support of Hezbollah, they’re not entirely comfortable with that yet the way they are with Hamas and the Houthis. ‘Fascist pigs’ is a very popular leftist term now though (with absolutely no Jew hating connotations calling humans pigs or rats has no historical context at all), so the bot probably stole it from there, even though the overall message isn’t like that

My verdict is an Islamic fundamentalist bot. The support for Hamas and Hezbollah makes sense, the blatant Jew hatred that’s not even attempted to be dressed up as ‘anti-zionism’. The way it talks about ‘occupying armies’ and ‘first world’ countries (clearly only referring to the west, not ones in other places such as MENA) screams alt right Middle Eastern bot. ‘Death to America’ was an ultra right wing term before the left decided to take it, after all

Or, you know, it could be a heritageposts minion. They are… lacking in brain capacity, so the vast majority of the time their hate mail isn’t funny or hurtful or any of the things it’s supposed to be, so it just comes off as a shitty bot

iconic iconic analysis anon, thank you for sending. the only thing that was giving me pause was the "tho" bc it felt too colloquial to be a fundamentalist bot, but they could definitely have picked it up from the millions of death threats online lol

(context)

[thelastgenderbender]

Blog directory time!!!

So this is only my technical main (due to Tumblr Circumstances, i won't bore you) but I do actually have a lot of blogs, some of them relatively active.

@levil0vesyou is my personal/misc blog, I also sometimes call it my main even though it never was on either account

@quarks-pussy is my star trek blog, despite the url it's not 18+ or purely nsfw

@selfrighteousflowers is my cartoon blog (only cartoons aimed at younger audiences tho, adult cartoons go on the misc nowadays) and also lazytown

@dmitri-ilyich-volodin is my podcast blog (also also Cabin Pressure sometimes)

@at-the-thistlespring-tree is my Dimension 20/Dropout blog

@eating-your-beans is my NBC Community blog (and also Mythic Quest)

@system-arbeitet-korrekt is my StarStarSpace (and occasionally other coldmirror stuff) blog

@not-a-sesame-street-sideblog (added Nov 5th '23) mostly dormant (as of Aug 24th '24)

@transwomansambeckett Quantum Leap (the original one, tho theoretically the reboot would go here too if I watched it) blog (created Nov 18th '23)

@move-over-nine-its-fifteen-time Doctor Who and adjacent media (added June 23rd '24 but existed for a while, I just failed to consistently update this post)

@faggot-md House MD blog (same note as above)

@shortkingchilchuck Dungeon Meshi (same note as above)

@ghoul-for-lucys-dad-2296 Fallout, mostly show so far but I've started playing 4 now so y'know (same note as above) (mostly dormant as of Aug 24th '24 tho I'll use it again if I ever get around to playing New Vegas)

@2-dead-boys-and-1-sad-psychic Dead Boy Detectives (same note as above)

@lines-in-your-trailer Scott Pilgrim, not particularly active (same note as above)

@watchingiasiptoimpressmycrush It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia (same note as above)

@grape-flavoured-wizard I honestly don't know how to explain this one either. (same note as above) (dormant. sorry)

@your-creepy-old-guy Beetlejuice but specifically and exclusively the musical version. Not really more than two or so reblogs from other blogs of mine yet but maybe next time I rewatch my favourite slime tutorial of it I'll start posting properly (same note as above)

@hawkeye-mpreg Mash, obviously. Like the trek blog, not actually 18+ despite the url (same note as above except midnight passed in my time zone so now it's June 24th)

@lassiesloveoflarping Psych blog (added July 6th '24) and I do blame @/under-loch-n-key personally /pos

@hashtag-dads (added Oct 11th '24 after being un-shadowbanned) Dan and Phil blog because I felt it might start being annoying to my personal blog followers how often I post about them there

I have a ton of other side blogs, both on this and on the old account, some of them are simply saved urls, (tumblr made me delete those and then some because they think people still use this site so I'm not allowed to "hoard") some are discontinued and some are secret for a variety of reasons - though I assure you, those reasons are mostly comedy.

I don't exactly have a dni per se but if you have shitty views or I otherwise don't like you, I might block you lol

Last added new blog: October 11th 2024

Last edited existing: October 18th 2024

[nick-close]

(/pos) I do genuinely like wondering what nick-close is up to— how the editing project is going, if the body pillow is commissioned— and then seeing you tear Ron apart for his behavior asgjm. I’m a fan of Ron, but fundamentally he is an ass, especially early on and even to Glenn, who is king of minding his own business and keeping opinions to himself in contrast.

That said and asking out of my own curiosity, what is your opinion on Ron and Glenn’s friendship, especially after the MB prison arc? The story has Ron being the first to hug Glenn after prison and defending Glenn wanting to kill his father, amongst how I interpret Ron’s response to Glenn’s death. Do you feel like Ron makes up for his earlier behavior towards Glenn? (I feel like Ron could have always done more, but I would like to hear how a Glenn fan interprets it.)

Oh I do actually like Ron that’s the secret plot twist!!! Even if it doesn’t sound like it sometimes lol.

To be honest, I actually think despite being upset at the whole battleaxe thing from Ron, Glenn is consistently Ron’s best friend when it comes to the series! Like he does the least amount of shit to him in my eyes. And especially after the MB arc, like you said- not only do we see Ron hug Glenn first, but Ron also specifically keeps Glenn as himself in his mind when the other two are dogs. I know that might’ve been a goof, but that’s still meaningful.

I think that ultimately Ron thinks Glenn is cool. And I think that they have a connection in the way that like… Henry needs to talk out issues all the time, Darryl wants problem solve- but Ron and Glenn ultimately don’t try to discuss or solve each others problems. I especially bring this up when the other two are dogs- it’s a way of specifically avoiding long conversation around the trauma he endured to just have somebody there for them. Ron and Glenn both just like being around somebody else- that’s what they need. Ron might make an out of place comment from time to time- but still.

I think Ron did suck towards Glenn early on, he sucked towards everyone- and I haven’t done a full relisten so I could be missing something. But I do think that their relationship is ultimately very positive in a way that they both need from somebody. I also think that neither of them are very judgemental? As much as I love Henry and Darryl, to again use them as an example- if you tell them some heavy trauma it’s still gonna make them uncomfortable. Like they don’t know how to talk about that right away. They know the realistic implications of what you said. I think Ron doesn’t get the real implications- which actually makes him view Glenn’s trauma in a much lighter way? Which, that can be shitty if it’s used to undermine him- but I think it’s actually good when it comes to Glenn- who’s main coping mechanism is making light or jokes off of his own trauma. Sometimes you need someone to play along instead of get awkward, quiet, and apologetic.

I think Glenn is a similar way with Ron too- though he is more grounded. Like he does get that it’s fucked up- but above that he’s an expert at not killing the vibes. Again, not always a good thing- but Ron has Henry and Darryl for the emotional side of things and Glenn- despite popular opinion- knows when to shut up. Glenn is very good at shutting up when it’s not his time to speak. If Ron needs to address some shit, he knows Henry can do a better job- but if Ron clearly doesn’t wanna deal with that? He’s the guy to lighten a dark situation.

Those are my thoughts, thank you for the ask!! Sorry for my Ron posting lol I like him I promise <3

[50cal-fullauto-astarion]

what smiley face would they use the most if they had a phone (changing this to emoji in general)

hobby or interest they are most embarrassed about (PLEASE tell what brings shame to the Durge Boy)

what mundane human job would they have in modern society to pay the bills and do they like it

their top 3 songs on repeat name a toxic trait of theirs that is really just a beige flag at best

THANK YOU BABE EHEHEHHEEH ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 I’m going to answer for both of these smelly bitches bc I can dghj

1. what smiley face would they use the most if they had a phone

Yder’s a definite tie between 🖕 and 😐. Yder is constantly expressing annoyance, whether fondly or genuinely.

Scorpio oh man. I feel like he’s by and large a FaceTime or voice note sort of dude, and his emoji game is fuckin whack and inscrutable fghhd. He’s giving me HUGE 🔫, 🔪, 👊 vibes though, with a dash of 🙇, 🤡, and 🥰. Also maybe a few of these 🐂 bc I feel like he’s got an obsession with the strange ox and he just NEEDS ppl to know he’s thinking about it again.

6. hobby or interest they are most embarrassed about

HUEHUEHUE YESSSS. Oh god this hit me like a ton of bricks, and it’s making me cringe in sympathy embarrassment, but I feel like my poor Durge baby Scorpio has a REALLY pretty voice. Like REALLY pretty, nice and gravelly and deep. Anyway where I’m going with this is smth smth he narrates erotica and/or creates porn ASMR audios. Slaps them on Patreon, makes a mint even though he’s just doing it for fun, but if ANYONE caught him recording whimpering audios, he’d send himself straight to hell. I owe him a formal apology dfhh. He sounds like Ghost Call Of Duty |’:

Real time life update I almost got shit on by a fuckin bird

YDER. So I had to think about this a minute - NOT bc she doesn’t have shame, she has that in spades, but omfg she’s so like Go And Do that she wouldn’t have time for a hobby, let alone an embarrassing one. Oh god no I figured it out. She’s low key kind of a furry/scalie and she’s got sonas for each that she doodles a lot. One’s a water monitor and one’s a mongoose 😭😭 YDER I’M SO SORRY. I’ll give her one redeeming quality, her art Twitter is fucking insane. SECONDARY EMBARRASSMENT: this is the actual one bc it popped in my head but I think the furry thing is funny enough to leave, but she has a huge assortment of romance themed pinboards that she likes to edit and curate and if ANYONE saw them, she’d ruin their life.

15. what mundane human job would they have in modern society to pay the bills and do they like it

Yder’s is boring and immoral, but she’s a computer hardware engineer for fantasy!L*ckheed M*rtin while she’s pursuing her master’s. ): She likes it bc she’s good at it and it pays a lot, but not on its own merits.

Scorpio — my brain IMMEDIATELY said barista and dog walker?? *ETA: also is a bouncer at a shitty dive bar known for violent patrons. I mean he’s probably super married to Gale and living in luxury in Waterdeep like a trophy wife, so he’s just doing both of those to have something to do and some pocket change, even though Gale 8000% gave Scorpio a black card tied to his accounts that he can use freely. Plus he’s got the Patreon audio porn racket going on, he’s just doing shit for a laff at this point lol.

19. their top 3 songs on repeat

THIS ONE IS SO GOOD. All Spotify links!

Yder: Hot Knife - Fiona Apple (gives her Astarion feels, Abs she’ll annoy him by tugging his ear and going, “If I’m butter, if I’m butter, then he’s a hot knife.”) Беспонтовый пирожок - Grazhdanskaya Oborona (THIS SLAPS THANK YOU FOR THE REC WARDS!!). Ederlezi - Barcelona Gipsy Klezmer Orchestra (this version is so fuckin good it got me to change her name).

Scorpio: Dirty Harry - Gorillaz. Anywhere I Lay My Head - Tom Waits (ANY Tom Waits song lbr, but this one is special and probably the song he associates most with Gale). Coal - Dylan Gossett (he’s my loves-country boy, and this song makes him feel seen).

27. name a toxic trait of theirs that is really just a beige flag at best

THIS one really had me thinking bc they’re both literally decimated with toxic traits, but bending them into beige flags is a trick dghj.

Yder: oh god so her selfishness and manipulative tendencies are omnipresent and bulletproof, but 💀💀 safe really DOES use it to improve the lives of the ppl she cares about. She’s an insular, horrid woman who rarely cares if she has to kill to get her way, but she’ll put that to use to beg, borrow, steal her friends’ ways into better lives. It’s a nice bonus if it sets her up nice, too.

Scorpio: He is EXTREMELY fucking clingy and possessive—whether it’s Gale, his friends, or just someone he considers ‘Mine Mine Mine,’ like the Finding Nemo gulls. But uhhh woof his loyalty is SERIOUSLY unmatched. And you’ll never be lonely if you have his number and want to hang out!

Bonus: they’re both in insanely codependent relationships 🤪🤪 but it makes their partners feel loved, wanted, and secure! That’s kind of like getting an A in relationships, right?

[sollucets]

Hi! First of all, sending you good thoughts and hugs <3

From the questions for writers: 5, 18, 25 and 40?

hey seren :’) 💜💜💜 hugs right back thank u so much. this is also So long. so so long. ack (game)

5. do you have any writing superstitions? what are they and why are they 100% true?

ehh not so super much honestly! maybe…. i do think that if im editing something in the same place i wrote it it doesnt work as well. so like, i have to move to a different room or go to the library or swap from computer to phone or the like. i do think its right though because you have to get yourself out of the brain you were in when you wrote it if you want to notice mistakes

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end.

ohhhh,,,, i wanted to pick something that'd be relevant to you, but i haven't published anything for rasmr (or twc i spose too) in so long. so... if it's ok i'll show you an unpublished bit of ocean eyes

“Look, we’ve been a little quiet, yeah, but I haven’t been shitty to you, have I? I’m sorry if I have. Everything is — a lot right now. You know that.” This is all close enough to true that it’d be a good explanation, and kind enough that it’s something Aster could have said.  So there’s frankly no reason why Ivy should look at him so indignantly after he says it, no reason why they should be obviously struggling to phrase their response, no reason for the anger he can see around their eyes. “If it’s been bothering you, you could always talk first,” he says. “Are you sure you’re not uncomfortable?” It’s probably not fair of him to turn the question around like that, but in truth it’s so close to the actual thing that worries him that he can’t control it slipping out.  “What—” Ivy starts, cool facade completely broken now. Their hands are fisted on the countertop. “What the fuck, how do you not see what you’re doing? You’re doing it right now!”  “What?” says David before he can stop himself. “I thought you were upset I wasn’t talking. Aren’t we talking?”  “I’m not upset you’re not talking!” Ivy spits out. “I’m — you said we’re friends. If you believe it, why are you like this? Right now, even. I’m yelling at you, David Shaw, I’m being — awful — and you’re just standing there being nice to me!”

this is from david and ivy Finally talking things out, which is technically the next next chapter in the order. the immediate next is mates brunch, which is barely written and has been languishing for months. but i have ivydavid's whole thing all fixed up & it has been since january!

their argument is, loosely, since oe is unupdated since january: ivy ghosted asterdavid for a while after inversion; they did this mostly bc they consider themself a hassle to deal with on top of everything and didn't want to bother them in their grief & struggle, but david reads it as them not feeling comfortable coming to him in a difficult time which is historically something true about ivy. also historically true is david upsetting ivy when they talk seriously (even though that's 100% not his fault) and so he starts thinking they're uncomfortable around him or afraid of him and just putting up with him for aster's sake, and they have a very painful couple months.

this particular argument (david backs off of ivy to the point where they think he doesn't like them anymore &. lol. just puts up with them for aster's sake) i always knew i wanted to have. like, from the absolute very beginning. aster is their relationship crutch, so without them there it breaks down so fast, & it's just so ivy of them to get upset about being treated well. but it also shows like. they know when he's suppressing his real feelings because they've gotten to actually know him better as a person.

the discussion & catharsis & understanding for them that follows this fight is. i think really good? and honestly a bit romantic? and a moment of decent conflict writing for me and god someday everyone'll see it. someday. someday?? i really wanted to just sho you the whole thing honestly. sobs.

25. what is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

hazel (ash's mate in oe) is an eldest child with all the attached stereotypes and also the oldest of their extended cousins (one of which is my fl emery) and it's a big part of the reason they're Like That

40. a poem!!!

my very most recent fic (wish it was mine) is titled after a line from richard siken’s little beast, which is, i think, a tumblr favorite so i’m sure you probably know it already. i knew it already too and thus after writing looked over the then untitled fic and went ‘wait did i little beast this’ in a conversation with my friend bc the Themes Are There. but so what if i did. it’s great. there are many names in history / but none of them are ours

[dumbsack]

One last flex of my dislike for Echoes and probably my last "shit on Echoes" post until the idiotic scumbags that run the game do something else deplorable and greedy. Consider this my mega post about the game with some thoughts and reasoning put into it besides *incoherent screeching*.

Echoes of Mana sucks. We all know that. I'm shouting into the void at this point. The loading times are unacceptable, co-op is a joke, the incompetent devs couldn't figure out what to do WITH A BASIC FRIENDS LIST, pull rates are absolutely awful, there was little to no testing done, Bravers is the most shameless display of greed I've ever seen in any game ever, Gingham was fucking awful, gems were a good idea but poorly executed, and characters RARELY interacted in meaningful ways in crossovers. It was a bunch of horseshit all the way through. Characters would be advertised together, only to not show up together (Duran and Angela and Charlotte and Kevin are promoted a LOT together, but only show up together in social media posts and gems (ironically getting more likes on those posts than the story chapters do...), Amanda never interacts with Sumo, Keldy never says a word to Lekius, etc. While the Secret of Mana trio get to freely interact with each other, female protags never got to interact in meaningful ways...).

The quilt/tapestry theme was so forced. We only get to see one (1) stitched together world (DoM and LoM)... And it did nothing with the crossover. Cool. And I died internally every time the dispatches said "WE'RE WEAVING UP GOOD STUFF".

What the fuck was up with the gems for SD3? No DSK/Loki vs Duran gem? No Bil and Ben vs Hawkeye? No pornomags gem? No Grand Croix gem? A good chunk of the gems for SD3 are made up bullshit. Yet, whenever someone farts in Secret of Mana or Legend of Mana, there's a gem for that. Hmm.

Don't get me started on the banners, though. Good grief. Fire and Ice, the so-called 31st anniversary celebration, was absolutely terrible. Terrible boss, ho-hum story that did nothing with the characters... I could say that about pretty much every event, actually, except for maybe 3 of them, max. (Any event with Duran in it because he was allowed to be a character, and the Manor one with Fuji, Randi, Popoi, and Blainchet.) Also, the events text was straight up broken for like a day. Lovely.

As funny as the LoM and Toto crossover was, being shilled at so explicitly at the end was the biggest slap in the face. No, I don't want the creepy Riesz statue, and I don't want to subject myself to the LoM anime. I don't want to look at Shiloh's weird lumpy, ballsack abs ever again.

I know I can't be too mean about this, but the English version has so many typos. As an amateur fanfic writer, I get it. I can't tell you how many typos I've passed over by accident that pop had to point out to me in my shitty fics after I've posted them. ... But neither of us are getting paid for writing/editing fanfic. So... Yeah.

But, my biggest problem, which I cannot overstate...

I absolutely detest how Angela's character is represented in Echoes. It directly contradicts and violates her character in TOM to the point I don't think the writer of that chapter actually played the Dragon Lord arc... Or the game at all, only getting snippets of dialogue from YouTube videos or some shit. Everything about chapter 2 undermines her arc AND Duran's completely (honeycomb: "lol I just trained hard to get magic lol xdddd")

In the chapter, she is shown training (yes, she says she had training when your main asks how she got to Cascade Cavern) and effortlessly fighting alongside Quilt, Honeycomb, and Duffle WITHOUT MAGIC, and tooootally besties with...

Okay.

No.

I'm sorry, this is not the same character as the one depicted below. The Angela in ToM is clearly a girl out of her depth and not the bad boss bitch she is in Echoes.

It's very heavily implied that Angela is very sheltered, lazy, selfish, and has probably never left Altena, expressing only a very vague understanding of the lay of the land (she couldn't even name Alrant!) Early game Angela in TOM pretty much lucks into her victory in her first fight (the tutorial fight!) expressing disbelief she was even capable of doing such a thing. She then almost promptly passes out in the cold and is luckily rescued by some locals.

Once you get into the meat of the game, she's pretty eager to pass off the fighting ("I can leave the fighting to you, right?"), immediately wants to take a nap upon reaching Jadd, bitches about Molebear Moors ("I'm filing a complaint about this path!"). Overall, it seems like she fluked her way to Wendel, making her way there by sheer luck, not skill.

None of these "negative" traits are shown in Echoes. Without consequence, YOUNGER, PRE-MAGIC ANGELA, after a cringe-inducing speech about friendship or whatever, she jumps into the fight with the Crimson Wizard alongside your stupid group and comes out unscathed...

Which is what completely undermines Duran's arc. Duran, one of the strongest swordsmen in Valsena, got owned by the CRIMSON WIZARD and almost died (and many of his fellow soldiers/knights were killed that night, ones implied to be more experienced than he is!)

"oh, but sack," you say, "she didn't fight the Crimson Wizard alone! She had help from Quilt, Duffle, and Honeycomb!"

ah yes, three other undertrained kids. That makes it better.

No. It doesn't. Let me reiterate: trained Valsenan soldiers, said to be among the best in the world, died to CW. Pre-magic Angela should have gotten hurt, or faced some kind of consequence for trying to take down an opponent like that. But no, she doesn't. I can believe she and Duran can take down Full Metal Hugger. Sure, fine. Whatever. That's just a big, dumb crab, not a powerful wizard even late game Duran and Angela still express difficulty facing even after getting stronger, judging by their battle dialogue.

"But sack! It's just a dumb gacha story! Don't take it so seriously!"

I know! But boy. BOY. BOI. AAAA IT'S SO EXPLICITLY BAD AAAAAAAA-

"Hey sack! Angela slaps the boys shit in Jadd when they approach her bed! She must be strong!"

Those are slapstick powers. Duh.

Also, this is a nitpick, but I really hate the retcon with male mages being overly present in Altena. In ToM and SD3, a soldier explicitly states the Altenish army is comprised of all women, which implies male mages are pretty rare (José, CW (who actually isn't a wizard lol he had to borrow evil powers like a little bitch)). I can believe non-mages are discriminated against, that's fine. I can believe Angela would stand up for Framaus if he was being bullied. Honestly? I think that's great! Angela may be selfish and a jerk, but I can definitely see her standing up for him for being a non-mage.

But, former besties? No. You don't talk about a former bestie like, "ew I have nothing to do with that guy!" You would probably say, "we used to be friends, but then he became a huge dick." All Angela states on the matter to Duran is "it's complicated" and that "he used to be nice". Yeah. Also lmao, the irony Framaus finally starts calling her Angela only for her to loathe when he calls her that by the time ToM rolls around is amazing. Really makes you wonder if Angela bumped her head and got amnesia or something.

Oh, and I do not find Framaus endearing or sympathetic. He's a creep. A fucking CREEP.

Ah, I get it now. Angela is too naive to realize that. Okay, chapter's issues absolved! (Not.)

Oh, and don't get me started on Angela replacing Framaus with Victor, too. Makes her look like a fucking psycho. Did the Echoes writers forget Victor exists or what? He's the only Altenish character not present in Echoes.

Fuck.

Fuck this chapter. I hate it more than Heroes of Mana, and that was a whole game of stupid horseshit and nonsense.

Echoes sucks. Angela's contradictory representation in Echoes is merely a symptom of a poorly managed, poorly written, poorly coded game.

Also, who the fuck thought it was a good idea for Hawkeye to be the Mana swordsman? You're the worst. The literal worst. Fuck you the most.