#sorry SORRY i am lost i was going to reupload my works the other day but i had a. frankly an awful interaction w some1 reposting fics

[sillyfairygarden]

i miss writing about deep visceral love and devotion and living as an extension of another being and loving so deeply your body and theirs are blurred at the edges of where you connect i miss that vulnerability and joy i miss writing about touch and intimacy i miss being able to explore love and shame and sex through characters and writing and words that felt like dancing images

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. Hello! This is my first time doing this but do you happen to know a mdzs fic where yzy is jgs consort and the jiang sibs are his children? I just remembered it now and can't find it. This is jiang family bashing I think. Thank you very much!

FOUND? Could this one be “OOC!” by A_flower_in_the_snow that was reuploaded on Wattpad

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2. hello mods!! i am trying to find a fic that i know has been asked for before but i can't find any of those posts. dragon!wwx was courting lwj in both human and dragon form, lwj didn't realize they were the same and rejected human!wwx which wwx took as a rejection of both sides, and there was something about meddling elders. but wwx held onto a one-sided dragon bond so he knew when CR was attacked and flew there to protect it and got severely injured. please help!!

FOUND? flame and rust by cl410 (M, 34k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Happy ending, Dragon WWX, Fluff and Humor, Light angst)

FOUND? Of Skin and Scales by firesonic152 (E, 21k, WangXian, Dragon WWX, Pining, Slow Burn, Miscommunication, Explicit Sexual Content, Bottom LWJ, Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, Size Difference)

FOUND? no other cloud compares to you by ectocosme (M, 125k, WangXian, ChengSong, Canon Divergence, Dragons, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Romance, Courtship, Slow Burn,Slow Build, Action, Identity Issues, Misunderstandings, Mistaken Identity, Kinda, Heartbreak, Getting Back Together, Angst with a Happy Ending, War, Violence, Mental Anguish) WWX courts LWJ in dragon form as also in his human form but LWJ mistakenly thinks the dragon (introduced as 'Mianlong') is a separate being and thinks human!WWX is not serious but only teasing so turns him down in "no other cloud compares to you" by ectocosme (must be signed into AO3 to read)

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3. hi again hehe<333 i would like to find a fic i read that i havent finished, the only things i remember are wangxian in an arranged marriage but live separately(not really sure), then lwj was forced to have a concubine which was wenqing, wei ying then leaves cloud recesses(not really sure if it happened) to live in yiling then he takes in xueyang and mo xuanyu and another lady who was pregnant. wenqing visits them to talk to wwx about lwj or something. amd then something like an ambush or war happens and wwx went to fight(?) when he returned to yiling he found out that the girl gave birth to twins but died. thats all i could remember sorry😅 oh and the reason why wq became lwj concubine was because of wrh pressuring gusu lan? i think? not really sure if its the same fic since ive read so many mdzs fics already hehe but anyways thank you for all the hard work!<333 enjoy your day!!!

FOUND? A Price To Pay by wangxianist (E, 116k, WangXian, XuanLi, Arranged Marriage, Prophecies and Curses, Angst with a Happy Ending, Accidental Baby Acquisition, warning for yzy’s f minus parenting, Cultivation Sect Politics, Family Drama, Canon Divergence, Explicit Smut)

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4. I’ve got another Fic Finder that, if answered, will fulfill a Mood/Compilation request—specifically Disabled Wangxian. This was a modern AU where we meet WWX as a young child with cerebral palsy; he had his canonical high intelligence and cheerful outgoing disposition; he signed, used a wheelchair, and loved Kirby.

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5. hi <3 i lost a fic that im pretty sure is quite popular, but i have no idea how to go about looking for it. all i remember is that a small thing changes, and then in the scene where teen lwj kneels beside wwx so they can both be punished, wwx jumps to cover him bodily, yelling something like 'no you wont hurt my lan zhan it wasnt his fault' (?) possibly maybe it was lxc pov?? it maaaay have had something to do with time travel?? (not wwx tho).. i really dont know :D thank you!! (Ugh, I swear I’ve read this fic at some point :’) ~Mod L)

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6. This one might be tricky because I don't remember if it was here on tumblr, on ao3, or a twitter fic. Basically, Lan Wangji snaps for Wei Wuxian to leave him alone during their studies at Cloud Recesses, and Wei Wuxian does, aware he's probably gone too far in his teasing. Naturally Wangji regrets this, but doesn't manage to patch things up before Wei Wuxian goes home. What there was was fairly short, but quite angsty.

FOUND? I believe 6 might be this twitter fic?

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7. Hello, I've been looking for a fic where cangse sanren was born as man and created a complex spell to change her body to that of a woman, and as a result from the this, wwx has a womb even though he has external reproductive organs of a male. I think jfm knew of the transformation csr did to her body.

FOUND? Until The End by abCEE (M, 365k, wangxian, LWJ & LSZ & WWX, established relationship, communication, mpreg, good uncle LQR, BAMF JYL, canon-typical violence, LSZ is wangxian’s son, WWX has new golden core, fix-it of sorts, canonical character death (WWX), happy ending)

FOUND? 🧡Like Rabbits by Setari (T, 41k, WangXian, Kid fic, Canon rewrite, Mpreg, Miscarriage scare, Crack treated seriously, Hopeful ending)

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8. Hello I'm just wondering if you can find this ao3 fic wherein wwx didn't died on the cliff but got saved and lived a life with another identity because he has amnesia also he and lwj has a son which is lan yuan and no one died in that fic jiang yanli is alived

FOUND? Until The End by abCEE (M, 365k, wangxian, LWJ & LSZ & WWX, established relationship, communication, mpreg, good uncle LQR, BAMF JYL, canon-typical violence, LSZ is wangxian’s son, WWX has new golden core, fix-it of sorts, canonical character death (WWX), happy ending) The amnesia bit comes somewhere around chapter 17ish

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9. Hi ! I was wondering if you guys could help me find a fic, it’s about lwj accidentally killing wwx in nightless city but then both of them get transported back into the past in cloud recesses arc. wwx avoids lwj all the time in the beginning. it’s a really angsty one but in the end they still end up together. tysm for your help !! @makkachiin​

FOUND! 💖 Regrets by antebunny (G, 37k, wangxian, canon divergence, temporary character death, miscommunication, misunderstanding, time travel fix-it, angst w/ happy ending, fluff, hurt/comfort)

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10. Hello pls help I’m looking for a fic I read and lost where Wwx is kept as a prisoner of war in the unclean realm after saving the wens and jgy threatens him so he’s like all by himself and falls into a real bad depression?? Thank u so much for all u do 💕💕💕💕💕💕 @bmgh-writing​

FOUND! Always walked a very thin line by tucuxi (T, 22k, NHS & WWX, JYL & WWX, wangxian, depression, anxiety, everyone lives au, except JZXun & JGS, self-worth issues, slow burn, oblivious WWX, golden core reveal, chronic pain & illness, pining)

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11. Hi! I'm looking for a fic that was like a video game tutorial. The game covered the events up to WWX's death, and there was some dating sim element. LWJ was obviously not an available target, but LXC and NHS were. The player could participate in killing WWX, and I think the tutorial said how this was super difficult.

Towards the end of the tutorial/fic, there was a part 2 published that covered the events after WWX's death, and if the player was close to/dating NHS he'd confide in her after his brother's death. If the player lived in Cloud Recesses because she bought a house there or was married to LXC, then she might meet A-Yuan, but only if she didn't participate in WWX's death, because otherwise LWJ would never let her see his son.

Hope someone can find it, and thank you! @pasmika

FOUND! Grandmaster of Cultivation: Walkthrough and Guide by athylia (Not rated, 4k, wangxian, social media, rpg au, dating sim au, romance)

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12. Hello! Im looking for a wangxian fic where lwj was married to yiling patriarch in exchange for help in the war by the lan clan. I dont remember if wwx was a god or just powerful, but he watched and cared for the wens. It was a multi chapter fic and slow burn. I remember they went to a festival at some point and wwx would give small gifts and theyd eat dinner together sometimes. The main thing i remember tho is that lwj was given his own home and in it was a koi pond that hed take care of and really liked. I think lwj also wrote his brother letters

FOUND? This sounds a lot like 💖 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, immortal WWX, slow burn, pining, arranged marriage, Mojo’s post)  

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13. Hi im trying to find a cute wx fic that takes place during lan student arc. The only thing i remember is one scene which is where i think lwj took the blame for something so he was being caned but wwx showed up, admitted his fault, then started to be caned too. Then both of them confessed to each in front of everyone watching while receiving punishment. I think it all occurred from a misunderstanding. I remember it being a funny fic and ive been trying to find it

FOUND! Pygmalion by syrus_jones (T, 18k, wangxian, crack treated seriously, fluff, humor, angst w/ happy ending, gremlin WWX, repressed LWJ, first kiss, confession, pining, misunderstandings, comedy of errors, WIP)

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14. Hey ! This request is for the ficfinder : I don't remember the title but WWX was a Wen and CSR was WRH's sister. WWX was also the heir to the Wen throne. LJY was LWJ's adopted son and after the burning of CL, when they were bring the Lans etc WWX took LWJ to Nightless City and married him. And at the end of the story it was revealed that LQR, YZY and maybe the Nie and Jin sect leader time travelled. And maybe CSR did too. And yes, WX became the boyfriend if NMJ. After everything was over WWX and LWJ ruled together as equals. I loved this story but i can't seem to find it again. Please help me here ! Thanks for your precious time :) @purhplet09

FOUND! To the Heavens and the Earth by IsilmeLasgalen (E, 77k, WangXian, NingSong, XuanLi, MingXu, ChengYu, WWX is a Wēn, Marriage of Convenience, Accidental Marriage, Implied Mpreg, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, CSSR and WCZ Live, Cultivation Sect Politics, Bottom LWJ, Top WWX, Good Person WRH, Immortal WangXian, POV LXC, Mpreg, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Emperor WWX, Emperor LWJ, Past WWX/Other(s), Everybody Lives, Fluff, Angst, Smut, LWJ is LJY's Parent)

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15. Hiya! First of all, thank you for all your hard work - I can't imagine how much organisation this blog takes!

I am looking for a very specific fic - wangxian, xuanli at the very least - takes place post-Sunshot. At one point (I believe during the Phoenix Mtn hunt) someone targets JXN but force-feeding his dog a magic core stone which causes it to grow into a massive dog yao and WWX and JXN have to fight it off together. Later one of JXN's other dogs is force-fed a core stone while a whole load of cultivators are trapped in a building and JXN has to stick his hand in its mouth to pull the stone out. Pretty sure JGY and SMS were behind all the plots/shenanigans.

(Sorry, I can't remember much more, but I just have this very specific scene stuck in my head.) @katonahottinroof​

FOUND! ❤️ a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke (M, 180k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, arranged marriage)

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16. hello im looking for this fic it's a fix-it i think. the scene i remember is wwx is trying to get lwj to leave and he tries to say he doesn't love lwj but lwj gets angry and is like don't insult me by lying to me and telling me you don't love me. a big thank you for all that you do bc this is where i get old lost fics and new ones too!

FOUND! ❤️ Standing Engagement by x_los (M, 18k, wangxian, misunderstandings, accidental engagement, sunshot campaign, golden core reveal, accidental relationship, WQ lives, everyone lives au, Mojo’s post)

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17. Hiii sorry I don't know how this works. But I am looking for this one specific fic I believe it was more than a one-shot. From what I remember was that LWJ was obsessive and WWX was oblivious LWJ killed I think a friend of WWX at midnight at school and tried to cover up the body. A girl who WWX flirted with constantly and who LWJ threaten to stay away from WWX found him and the body at the bathroom of the school and LWJ threaten her to help him cover the body. The next thing I remember is he is stalking WWX and I believe WWX somehow ended up in LWJ's house there is banging from the basement and LWJ is acting suspicious then he cooks food for WWX then makes a joke about the food being JC and throughout WWX stay he hears banging in the basement and he tells LWJ and he lies about it and he goes to the basement to find out that I believe it was JC who was tied up and they tried to escape but WWX stayed behind that all I can remember. thank you @kawaiiskeletonlamphero

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18. Hello I don't know if this is where to post to find a fic but I'll try anyway.

I cant remember much plot wise but I'll give a brief run down of what I can recall.

It's a wangxian fic with wei ying being the bottom. There is mpreg but I'm not sure it's is omegaverse or not. There is a suprise reveal later after the pregnancy is announced that wei ying is pregnant with TRIPLETS. I think lan zhan or lan qiren faint when this is revealed. Pretty sure it's a happy ending fic.

Sorry it's not much to go on but it's all I can remember. @sumzie

FOUND? Littlest Miracles by Vrishchika (M, 5k, wangxian, dragon wangxian, established relationship, mpreg, tenderness, fluff, not JC friendly, noodle babies)

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19. Okay so I have another fic finder, whenever you're able to get to it! All I remember was that it was the beginning of the cloud recesses lectures and, instead of sneaking in and getting into a romantic sword fight under the moonlight with his soul mate, wwx is already a little drunk and instead ends up slipping while climbing the wall and falling on his head. Lwj finds him immediately and wwx has a very serious head injury and so has to spend some time in the infirmary. I think there was some stuff that happened after he healed, and he and lwj were together soon enough. I'm pretty sure it was an au that only took place in the lectures? At least I don't remember it delving into any of the war stuff. I know that it was complete though! I've tried a few different tags, but I've had no luck so far. Thank you in advance!! @suibian800 (I'm pretty sure I know what fic this is but I forgot the name, LWJ had to do an ancient technique to save WWX by connecting their qi and spent the rest of the fic trying to restrain himself from "side-effects" (horny thoughts), right? - Mod C)

Yes!!! I'm almost 100% sure the fic I'm looking for also had the mind connection thing. And wwx fully accepted that he'd fallen in love with lwj but lwj thought it was just the connection and was determined to break it. I think he avoided wwx even after that too maybe??? I don't really remember how it ended 😂 but I'm pretty sure it was happy ending!! (If it is indeed the fic I am thinking of, then I am pretty sure they "pretend" to be in love before LWJ gets the connection removed and then it ends with LWJ showing up in lotus pier and kissing WWX, wish I could also remember the name for you 🥲) - Mod C)

FOUND! All at Once It's You by tiptoe39 (E, 28k, WangXian, Accidental Bonding, Love Curse, AU: No Plot Happens, The Wens Are Not Evil, Gusu Lan Summer School, CQL Universe, But I Stole a Scene from the MDZS Novel, JC is a Supportive Brother????, There is One (1) Sex Scene, Like Nie Huaisang It Is Just There to Make Up the Numbers, Qi Does What I Want It to Do So There, Internalized Homophobia) (I'm pretty sure I found it! This is the one right? - Mod C)

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20. Hi Mods! Thank you so much for all the you are doing :)

I am trying to find this fic where Jiang Cheng does the soul summoning after Jin Ling is killed by JGY? or something. WWX is very angry and tears into all the sect leaders including NHS. Hope you can help me find it. Thanks!

FOUND! The Day's Relentless Light by donutsweeper ( T, 1k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Lots of People Die, Canon-Typical Violence, Revenge, Non-Mo Xuanyu Summoning Ritual, Worse Timeline, Character Death, Dark)

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[ace-writes-stuff]

Those Good Days Passed

| Eddie Munson x Henderson!Reader |

A/N: This is a reupload! I made a new writing blog to clean some stuff up! Previously known as @eddie-is-baby. I made this new main blog so I can start doing things like taglists & masterlists since they’ve been requested! Thank you for your support and patience! ☺️

This is a completely self-indulgent piece of writing. Odds are this will never see the light of day, but on the off chance I pull some courage out of my ass and post this bad boy, I am sorry. In an effort to put a metaphorical Band-Aid over my heart, I have decided to write my first multichapter fic throwing Eddie into the events of season three and fixing his completely unnecessary death scene. That is all :)

Summary: After years of being away from Hawkins, you're finally able to come down for a visit again. You’ve got a cabin, a ride, and a loving cousin to keep you company. The only problem is- you need a job, and it just so happens that a certain metal-head is looking for a new coworker. 

Contents & Warnings: Fem!Reader, Reader is over 18, Multichapter Fic, Reader rides a motorcycle

Word Count: 4k

Chapter One - Cabin in the Woods

Your fingers were starting to go numb from how long you had been gripping the steering wheel. The drive from Hawkins hadn’t been an easy one. In fact, it had taken several hours to get anywhere near the damn place. In that time, you had been cut off twice, flipped off three times, and at one point, you even had to pull over to fix a blown tire… Overall, the trip could have gone better, but your journey was finally coming to an end.

As the scenery changed from seemingly never-ending monotonous highways to a sweet little townscape, you couldn’t help but sink down in your seat. This isn’t the first time you had been to Hawkins. Oh no. You had visited your aunt and little cousin many times throughout your childhood. Fourth of July, Christmas, Thanksgiving, all the big ones but as the years passed, the drive seemed to get longer and longer, and your parents just couldn’t spare the time to make the trip out anymore. However, now that you were older and your uncle conveniently needed someone to housesit his cabin, they finally agreed to let you visit for the summer.

Dustin, of course, had been ecstatic to hear about your extended stay, mainly because, in his own words, “it would give him and his party a new base of operations.” Whatever that meant. Despite your younger cousin's strange ideas of what house sitting meant, you were still excited to visit. It had been a while since you had last seen him, and if last year’s Christmas card was anything to go off of, the kid had really grown up. 

The only things you were genuinely concerned about were one, becoming a babysitter for the summer, and two, finding a good enough job that you wouldn’t have to worry about babysitting duties. Aunt Claudia had mentioned something about a new mall opening up, so you had written up a few resumes before making the drive. Hopefully, whatever little shop decided to take you in wasn’t too mentally taxing, but you figured any mall job would work out just fine. 

When the crunch of gravel under your truck's tires grew heavier and the bumps in the little dirt driveway became more frequent, you knew you had made it. However, just in case there was any doubt at all, Dustin was sitting there on the front few steps of the patio to welcome you into town. He was smiling, but his teeth were missing again! You could have sworn he had gotten dentures at some point, but maybe you were wrong? It was either that, or he had lost them, which seemed unusual for him. Perhaps there was some other reason? 

You didn't have much time to think about it though because almost as soon as you had shifted into park, your favorite curly-haired cousin was swinging open the car door and pulling you into a hug.

“Dustin! C’mon, man. I still have my seatbelt on!” You laughed, hugging him back as you tried to wiggle your arms free enough to unbuckle yourself. Yup, he had certainly grown! He was practically twice as tall as he had been during your last visit and about three times as strong.

“This is what you get for taking so long to come back,” he argued playfully before finally stepping away to let you stretch your legs from the long drive. 

The sentiment was enough to pull a smile onto your face as you hopped out of the truck. Your legs felt a bit like jelly, but you recovered quickly. You had a lot of unpacking to do afterall, and it had to be mostly done by five o’clock. The mall closed at nine, and you wanted at least a few hours to pass around some resumes. Maybe if you were lucky and some place was really short-staffed, they’d let you start within the next few days. Wouldn’t that be nice? However, right now, you needed to get all of your junk out of the truck and unload your bike. 

“You gonna help me unload, or are you just going to keep giving me shit for being gone for the past few years?” You teased right back, giving him a light push on the shoulder before swinging the back hatch of the truckbed open. 

You may have overpacked a little bit. Bringing your Suzuki was definitely an interesting choice given the fact that you already had the truck with you, but you just couldn’t justify leaving her behind! Plus, Dustin had mentioned wanting to take her for a spin, and you couldn’t just leave the poor guy hanging, even if it meant being scolded by your aunt for letting her “sweet little Dusty on that death machine.” 

It took about an hour to get everything out and into the cabin. Clothes, cassettes, gear- everything a girl could need to survive a couple of months in Hawkins. However, just as you finished unpacking the last box of your various things you simply couldn’t live without, Dustin dramatically threw himself on the couch in faux exhaustion. 

“No!” You groaned before trying to pull him up by the collar of his shirt. “Get up, lazy bones. We still need to go to the mall before it closes! Not all of us are protected under child labor laws anymore, remember?” Unfortunately, your very solid argument went completely ignored as he flopped back down onto the couch with a huff.

“I can’t believe you packed so much stuff. I must have brought in a million boxes!” Dustin complained as he pretended to wheeze out a final breath and die right there on your couch.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his ridiculous display before using all of your upper body strength to push the back end of the couch up and flip him onto the floor.

“Ah! What the hell!” The boy squealed before plummeting the foot's distance onto the carpet.

“It was barely ten boxes; stop being such a baby and get up.” Again, your words fell on deaf ears, so you did the only sensible thing and resorted to bribery. “If you help me unstrap my bike, I’ll buy you ice cream when we get to the mall.”

That seemed to do the trick because Dustin was up and at ‘em again in no time. Hell, he practically beat you outside, despite you being closer to the door. With your little cousin’s help, you managed to get your bike off the trailer in less than fifteen minutes and could now start heading towards Hawkins’ new pride and joy. Starcourt Mall.

She was a beauty, really. A true wonder of engineering, and by wonder, you meant that it was a wonder that it still worked. She had been wrecked, fixed, wrecked again, and put back together from the ground up. Aunt Claudia had called it a deathtrap, and to be completely honest, she probably wasn’t far off, but to you, she was ol’ reliable. So, after fixing your spare helmet onto Dustin’s head and pulling on your own, you kicked her into gear and set off down the road and towards the mall.

It had been a while since you had last visited Hawkins, but not much had changed. Well, save for the giant glowing neon beacon of capitalism, of course. Seriously, you thought you were going to have a harder time finding the mall, but between all of the extravagant billboards, bus routes, and the many many signs directing traffic towards the huge vibrant colored building, it was sort of hard to miss. 

Well, at least you didn’t have to worry about finding a job anymore. The place was gigantic. There had to be over a hundred little cubical-sized shops under one roof. It would be impossible not to find somewhere to make a little cash while you were here. Hell, you were surprised there were enough people in Hawkins to keep this place up and running, some place had to be understaffed. 

Unfortunately, to your and Dustin’s surprise, most of the more cookie-cutter jobs had already been swiped up by high schoolers on summer vacation. Damn! Everything from Macy's sales associate to McDonald's burger flipper had been taken weeks ago. You must have checked half of the shops in that stupid mall and all of those “Help Wanted” signs that your aunt had told you had already been pulled from the windows. 

“How is this even possible?” Dustin huffed in disbelief as you two entered the food court, looking less than enthusiastic about your lack of finds. “I was barely gone for a month, and all the jobs are gone! Where the hell did all these people come from?! Do they not have anything better to do during break?”

“Like I said, Dusty, not all of us can ride around Hawkins all summer without needing some cash. These teens were probably cut off from their parent's bank accounts so they would get out and ‘learn the ways of the real world.’ Can’t blame them for trying to make an extra few bucks during the summer.” You tried to soothe, but you also felt the sting of the impending question. What if you couldn’t find a job this summer? You couldn't just phone up your parents begging for a little pocket change. They were states away! Asking your aunt for some money was also out of the question because you didn’t want to overstep your welcome, especially since this was your first visit back in a while. 

With a sigh, you pat Dustin's head through his trucker hat and spoke again. “I’m sure I’ll find something, but right now I’m starving, and if I'm not mistaken I owe a certain someone some ice cream. How bout it, kid? Know any good places?” And with that, Dustin lit up again.

“Oh my god! I’m such an idiot! How could I have forgotten?!” Dustin suddenly exclaimed, looking at you with wide eyes before shooting off through the crowd. 

“Wh- Dustin! Wait up!” You tried calling after him, but it was too late. That kid was on a mission, and he was dragging you along with him. You bobbed and weaved and even had to duck at one point as you made your way through the crowd of hungry food court patrons. Some grumbled as you frantically darted passed them, but you were determined to keep up with that goofy kid, so you did what you had to do until he came to a screeching halt in front of a sailor-themed parlor. 

“Dude, what the hell! The ice cream isn’t going anywhere.” You wheezed, gesturing toward the brightly colored “Scoops Ahoy” sign glowing down at you from above. Still, Dustin seemed way too proud of himself at the moment to care about your complaints. 

“It’s not about the ice cream,” He scoffed, rolling his eyes like you just weren't getting something that was glaringly obvious to everyone else. Little shit. “Don’t you see? This is the answer to all of your problems!” Yeah… you still had no idea what he was talking about.

Suddenly an almost obnoxiously loud voice called out from inside the nautical-themed creamery. “Henderson?” You turned to see a man in a ridiculous-looking sailor's uniform looking at both you and your cousin in confusion.

“What?” You both answered, which only served to confuse the poor guy even more as he finished serving the last customer at the counter. He was tall, but his hair was even taller, and he was practically oozing confidence despite the absurd uniform he was sporting. Coincidentally, he also looked to be around your age, so how did he know your little cousin?

“What gives, man? I thought you said you were with the geek squad today.” The sailor questioned as Dustin pulled you into the ice cream parlor and completely ignored the guy's questions like he so often did to you.

“Is Scoops Ahoy hiring?” Dustin prodded bluntly, which caused the older teen to shake his head from the near whiplash he got from the change of subject. You took his momentary stunned silence to slip in a question to your younger cousin.

“Who’s the hair?” You tried to whisper, but apparently, you didn't keep your voice low enough because the sailor began to introduce himself.

“Steve Harrington, and you are?” He started, but Dustin cut him off again.

“She’s my cousin,” he stated before repeating his earlier question. “Is Scoops hiring? C’mon Steve this is important!”  

The sailor’s - Steve’s -  eyes landed back on Dustin as he pursed his lips for a moment. “Sorry man, between me and Robin we pretty much got the place handled” He finally answered, genuinely sounding a bit mournful as his eyes found yours again. “But, if you're looking for somewhere to work in the mall, I’m pretty sure I still saw some help wanted signs hanging up in a music store across from us when I walked in this morning. I think it's called Tape World? Big blue neon sign, you can’t miss it.” 

Before you could thank the guy Dustin was tugging you towards the exit again. Little man really was on a mission.

“Dustin- Chill out!” You laughed, as you tried not to trip over yourself, but your legs still fumbled around uselessly. “Thanks, Steve! It was nice meeting you!” You managed to call out before Dustin had completely pulled you out of the Scoops Ahoy and back into the food court, but he didn’t stop there. No, he continued to drag your ass passed the many eating patrons and over to the entertainment section of the mall. It didn’t take too much longer after that to find that big blue sign Steve had described, and sure enough, there was still a help wanted sign hanging crooked in the window. 

For a moment, you two just stopped and stared at it in awe. Could this be it? The answer to your metaphorical prayers? It didn’t look too busy at the moment, which was a bit of a surprise considering that the mall was packed. Maybe it was a shitty music store? Well, there was only one way to find out. 

You took a moment to smooth out your shirt from all the running you had just done before casting a look down to Dustin. You were surprised to find him already looking up at you, but you didn’t let it shake you too much. Instead, you stepped towards the invitingly opened doors.

“You coming, or what?” You questioned to break the tension ghosting across your shoulders, and after a breath, Dustin followed suit. The both of you walked in and took a moment to take in the shop. 

There were cassettes and records practically covering every wall. Hell- practically every surface. Everything from Bon Jovi to Black Sabbath. There was even a little section in the back with guitars, bases, and amps for sale, and was that Metallica playing quietly through the speakers overhead? A surprising choice, but certainly not an unwelcome one. Well, at least to you it wasn’t, but you knew at least half the families in Hawkins probably thought that that kind of music was for satan worshipers or something. Was that why there was barely anyone in here? 

You were just about to head up to the front counter, but as you took your first step towards it, you caught a blur of hair and black leather zooming past out of the corner of your eye. Unfortunately, your paths intersected, and you crashed right into it. A decent stack of tapes went flying, along with your resume as you collided. 

“Oh, shit. I just reorganized those,” The man groaned, already starting to bend down to retrieve the poor cassettes. “You alright?” 

“Yeah. I am so sorry.” You apologized, face heating up as you kneeled down and started to frantically gather up the tapes. “Here, let me help.” 

Duran Duran.

The Cure.

Tears for Fears.

And…

“Hey, this is the album that's playing, right? Ride the Lightning?” You asked as you handed the guy back a blue-colored cassette case labeled Metallica.

For a moment, he just stared at you. Not in that ‘Oh yeah? name three of their songs!’ type of way, but more like he was genuinely, and maybe even pleasantly, surprised.   Nevertheless, being put under such an intense gaze was beginning to make you feel a bit nervous. So, you did what any sane person would do and laughed like an idiot. 

“What? Is this not For Whom the Bell Tolls or something? You’re looking at me like I got three heads.” You tried to break the tension with some humor which actually seemed to work because he finally took the tape and cleared his throat.

“No, yeah. Sorry, yeah. That’s what's playing. I just,” He shook his head and looked down to pick up the last of the cassettes before continuing, “you don’t look like you would be into this kind of stuff. You just surprised me.”

You scoffed, not in a harsh way, but almost teasingly. 

“What? The black riding boots aren’t enough to give me away?” You joked, and to your delight, the long-haired guy actually joined you for a huffed laugh. 

It was at that point he reached for the small stack of papers that had flown out of your hands during the collision. 

“Resumes?” He prompted, setting the newly reorganized cassettes safely back onto the glass counter before offering a ring-covered hand to help you up. You took it.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm in town for the summer and I basically blew all my money just to get here so… resumes.” You looked down awkwardly at your shoes as you explained. Slowly, he handed you back all but one of the stack. His eyes scanned quickly over the document. So quickly, in fact, that there was no possible way he could have caught more than just your name and number. 

Then finally, after what seemed like an eternity,

“You’re hired. Can you start tomorrow?” He asked, folding up your resume and shoving it into the back pocket of his ripped jeans. 

What?

“What? Just like that? No interview?” You weren’t one for chancing your luck but this just seem way too easy after all you had just gone through. There had to be some sort of catch, right?

“Nope! I happen to be a fantastic judge of character, and I am judging your character to be perfect for this job.” He answered so confidently, that you almost believed him. “And I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’m the only one working in here, and I am so sick of being around so many people with absolutely no taste.” He finally fessed up after a short pause, pulling a soft laugh from your chest. 

“So what do you say? Can you start tomorrow?” The poor guy was practically begging at this point, and you really needed the money so…

“What time?” You answered with a grin, looking back up just in time to catch him fist pump the air and jump up onto the counter, swinging his legs across so that he was on the other side. 

He ducked below, and for a second you lost sight of him completely. Then, almost like a groundhog, he popped back into view with a vibrant blue vest with Tape World embroidered on the breast and a stack of new employee forms. 

“We open at ten tomorrow, but if you come in at nine-thirty, I’ll show you how to work the register.” He announced, sliding the items across the counter before leaning forward, resting his forearms against the glass display. “Oh,” His eyes closed as if something important had just caught up with him, “I also got a deal with the guys down at Hawkins’ Heroes so we can get some free breakfast too if you want.”

“That sounds great! I guess I’ll catch you tomorrow then…uh…” Your eyes darted across his uniform, searching for a name tag, but no joy. Fortunately, he must have caught your struggle because he stood back up straight and extended his arms out for an exaggerated bow. 

“Edward Munson, at your service.” He introduced himself in a booming voice, that actually seemed to spook a couple of patrons towards the back of the store. “But! You can just call me Eddie.” He continued in a much more reasonable tone, dropping his hands back down to his sides with an almost goofy lopsided grin. 

Who even was this guy? You asked yourself fondly, smiling back at him.

“Well then, Eddie, it's been a pleasure, but I’ve gotta feed this guy and get him home before his mom sends out a search party.” You threw a thumb back at Dustin who had been uncharacteristically quiet throughout the whole exchange. “Nine thirty, right?”

“Nine thirty,” Eddie confirmed, picking up the tapes he had dropped a few minutes ago to restock the shelves.

And with that, you gave one last wave before walking out of that little music store you were sure would leave a big impact on your summer vacation. Hopefully, it would be a good one. 

As you and Dustin once again made your way back toward the food court, you couldn’t help but notice that he was giving you a look. At first, you tried to ignore it, but as you two got closer and closer, his smug look seemed to bore itself into the side of your head until you finally conceded. 

“What?” 

“Huh? Oh, Nothing.” Dustin answered nonchalantly, finally looking away. He was trying to seem aloof, but you knew he was just being a little shit.

“C’mon, kid. Spit it out.” You tried, but he seemed content keeping up his little act for a little while longer. Eventually, after another long moment of silence, he couldn't contain himself and broke.

“I was just thinking about Suzie. That’s all.” He answered smugly and given his tone, that definitely wasn't all.

“Suzie?” You prompted, raising an eyebrow at your little cousin. 

“Suzie.” The kid repeated but continued to elaborate when you shot him a questing look. “My totally beautiful and genius girlfriend from Camp Know Where.”

“Okay. Sure. What about her?” You were really failing to see how his definitely real and totally not made-up girlfriend was relevant to the situation. 

“Well, I was thinking about the way she looked at me after I finished building Cerebro.” After another long pause, Dustin was starting to get impatient with you. “She looked at me like that guy from the music store looked at you just now!” He groaned at you as if what he was saying was painfully obvious.

“Dustin, what are you talking about?” You scoffed, but his stupid smirk didn’t budge. “He was probably just thrown off because some random girl ran into him and made him drop a bunch of shit. Stop- Quit smiling at me like that!” You could feel your face start to heat up again, but you couldn't tell if it was because you were embarrassed or annoyed. 

“Uh-huh. Sure. That was definitely the only reason.” It was at that point that you gave him a light shove on the shoulder. Not enough to hurt or push him down, but apparently enough to send him spiraling into a fit of laughter. 

“You are such a cocky little shit, you know that?” You snorted as pulled him back upright and under your arm. “Now shut up and pick something to eat so we can go home.”

[spideyspeaches]

Inconveniences ↬ p.p

AN: This is a reupload from my old account!

An entry for @geminiparkers’s 1k writing challenge!

Pairing- College!Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Warnings: mentions of sex :)

Wc: 1.7k

Masterlist || Taglist

1.

You didn’t understand what people saw in the Avengers. They were annoying and had no concept of personal space.

Or maybe those were just your thoughts. You’ve been living with them ever since quarantine started, finally able to convince your parents that you were capable of living alone, you were an avenger, after all. Well you weren’t really living alone, as the people in question along with your boyfriend, Spider-Man lived with you.

Never were you ever glad that May Parker, the angel, had allowed you two to stay together (without much embarrassment).

Back to the point where you got no privacy. For example:

“Peterrrr” you whined, elongating his name to get his attention. You had been horny all day long, craving some semblance of touch from your extremely sweet, hot, amazing, beautiful boyfriend.

He hummed, not even looking up from the laptop he was typing on. He was laying on his side, so you tried to shimmy yourself between the little space on the couch and him, only to grunt when he wouldn’t move.

So you tried something else, because fuck the Avengers you wanted a dick now.

“Petey petey pie,” you whispered, tracing his abs from under his t-shirt. You knew your trick would work, because you could feel them clench.

“Y/N, not here sweetheart.” He muttered, holding your hand while he continued to ignore you.

Pouting, you huffed and flopped back as much as you could.

“You promised you would be free tonight! Gah you’re such a nerd!” You whined, rolling your eyes when you saw Nat entered the living room.

At first she ignored you both, sipping at her milkshake and walking towards the kitchen.

“You chose me and not Harry remember? Thought you were into nerds not gonna lie.” He smirked, his voice low, the kind that had you clenching without a thought.

“And? Are you questioning my choices? Come on Petey you can do your homework later.” You said.

You climbed on top of him, your foot purposefully catching his dick. By now you were practically on his chest , tracing circles around his nipples.

Smirking, you continued to pepper his exposed neck with featherlight kisses, making sure to moan every now and then.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” He clenched his jaw, huffing to show that your kisses were not affecting him.

“Well you’re being a party pooper, so I’m having mine.” You muttered, voice muffled as you slid your hands inside his t-shirt, scratching your fingers against his chest.

Grunting, he gently pushed you off, sitting up with his laptop on his legs, “Y/N this is important."

Mouth open now, you puffed your cheeks, folding your hands on your chest.

"Can you believe this dude?!” You shouted, looking at Nat while pointing at your smirking boyfriend, “he chooses homework over sex!”

***

2.

Sipping at your drink, you smiled at the scene in front of you. It was almost half a year under quarantine, and Tony had finally agreed to host a party, albeit an internal one with only the Avengers, and May, now that she was out of duty from the hospital.

“How’re you feeling babe?” Peter appeared, wrapping his hands around your stomach, resting his nose on the crook of your neck.

Sighing, you leaned onto his head, enjoying the way he kissed your neck, caressing your waist with his thumbs.

“I’m good, things are getting normal again, if only the president caught the virus, this country would be a much better place.” You snorted, feeling your back vibrate as he laughed.

“You hate him so much don’t you?” He said.

“He’s hate worthy.” You shrugged, turning around to wrap your hands around his neck, playing with the baby hair on the nape.

Leaning forward, you hummed against his lips, crading your hands through his hair as he pushed you into his chest, fingers playing with the hem of your pants.

“Someone’s gonna walk in on us.” You mutter against his mouth, moaning as his tongue attacks your lips, parting them hungrily.

Swaying with the loud music, you whimpered when he touched your waist, his fingers hot and leaving shocks, your pussy throbbing and gut coiling with anticipation.

Panting desperately, you pulled at his shirt, fingers scrunching in the material as he lifted you up, planting on the counter top as you wrapped your legs around his waist, effectively straddling him. Feeling his muscles rippling under the shirt, gave a throaty moan, huffing due to the lack of oxygen.

Sweat was already coating your foreheads, creating highlights on his cheekbones and reflecting off the lens of his glasses-

“Peter did you see my- Oh! Oh am I disturbing you? Why don’t you use the bedroom though, I don’t think Tony would like if you do it in the kitchen-"

"May! Oh my god-"

”-It’s okay honey, you’re not a teenager anymore-“

Falling off the counter top, you bit your lip, playing with the hem of your shirt, not meeting May’s eyes. You look at your blushing boyfriend, embarrassed at being caught making out in between a party.

"May, just go, please-”

“Um, sorry I was just leaving anyway, you know, I got work to do. Yeah. You both continue.” She smirked, nodding at you and sending a sly wink at you.

Shaking your head, you looked at Peter, twiddling your hands together.

“Sooo, wanna make out?” You ask.

“Yeah. Sure"

***

3.

The dishes clinked together, the noise echoing in the empty kitchen. Peter moved with agility, hands cleaning the dishes as he passed it to you who were putting them on the rack.

You saw him take a deep breath, biting your lips and gulping. You knew what was coming next.

Peter had always been protective of you, as a friend or as a girlfriend. He protected everyone who he loved.

"I’m sorry-"

"Save it. Take your meds and go to sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow.” He grunted, nearly smashing the plates as you raised your eyebrows.

“Well be careful of the plates, they’re fragile.” You joked, heart beating fast as you contemplate his reaction.

“How are you so chill about all this?! You know you were reckless, and yet you do decide to not acknowledge the fact that you almost died!” He slammed his fist, nearly breaking the plate with his hand, a small piece did break, piercing his skin.

You jumped at his sudden aggression, your own anger building.

“I’m a big girl now Peter, I can take care of myself, I don’t need you to look out for me everytime I go out!” You snarled, curling your fist, “and you’re one to talk you hypocrite! You’re always so reckless during patrols, how is me getting blasted by a bomb in a fireproof suit, reckless when you get hit by bullets on a daily basis?"

"I stopped listening after you said you got blasted by a bomb, you’re not enhanced Y/N, how am I supposed to-”, he said voice cracking, “I love you okay? I can’t - I can’t lose you okay?"

Your chest ached at his hurt voice. Peter had lost a lot in his short life, his parents, his uncle, almost lost Tony. And now you felt bad about making him feel that way.

"I’m sorry Petey.” You said, taking his cheek in one hand, holding his suds filled hand in another, “You’re hurt."

He chuckled, looking at his hand where the broken plate had pierced it. Tony wouldn’t mind one broken plate, he was a billionaire after all.

"Yeah.” He said, sniffing and putting it under the faucet to get off any remaining blood. You watched in fascination as the wound closed up, not even leaving a scar behind as if you were watching a time lapse.

Rolling your eyes, you grinned mischievously, poking his chest with you fingers and snorting as he giggled, pulling you closer-

“Bucky! Give me back my cookie now or I swear to god-"

"Ughhh you guys do this purposely don’t you?” You groaned, glaring at Bucky and Sam as they stop in their tracks, looking at each other and smirking.

“We neither confirm nor deny your accusations.” Bucky said, plopping the cookie in his mouth and walking out of the kitchen as you bang your forehead against the table.

Why can’t people just let you be intimate with your boyfriend for one second?

***

+1

“Are you sure no one’s gonna walk in, Spider-Man?” You hummed against his lips, moving in slow motions as he caresses your bum.

“If they do, I’ll take care of it.” He rasps, squeezing your bottom and fingering the hem of your shirt shorts.

You were sitting in Peter’s bedroom after a full day of teasing him, because you were horny and desperate. Softly kneading your fingers through his hair, you whined at the feel of his bulge against your crotch, a wet feeling already seeping through those shorts.

Rubbing your hips faster against his, you huff, tracing his biceps and squeezing them occasionally as he moved down with his lips, slipping off your tank top.

“Thought you had super speed.” You grunted, urging him to go faster as he unclasped your bra before looking at you with a smirk, his eyes shining with mirth and lust.

“You were a bad girl today, teasing me every opportunity you got, it’s only fair if I get to do the same.” He said before squeezing your one boob and sucking on the other, a wet pop noise leaving his mouth every time he sucked on it.

Spreading your legs further, you shimmy out of your shorts, lifting Peter’s shirt up to get him out of it before he stopped you.

“Oh no, you’re not-” he started before the door opened with a bang.

“Did you guys-” before Tony could see anything, Peter produced his web-shooters and shot at the door, locking it for at least another two hours.

A muffled, “at least use protection!” Was heard from outside the door. Your face was burning with embarrassment, looking at Peter with an innocently terrified look on your face. He could hear your heart racing, and it was making him like, really hard.

“Now, where to begin.” He whispered, chills shooting up your spine, goosebumps appearing on your skin and the wet feeling intensifying between your thighs.

“Let me at least undress you.” You plead, lifting his t-shirt and unbuttoning his jeans simultaneously.

“No, you were a brat today, and brats don’t get a taste without punishment.” He smirked, flipping you so you hit the backrest, holding your arms up and…webbing You up against the headboard, “today I’m doing all the work."

And you didn’t mind it really. Like, at all.

[starkerscoop]

Vacant Mind (Ch. 1)

Tag List: @thatrandomsomnia @longlivestarker @geen-beems @consciencecoward @aoifelaufeyson @rebel13lion39 @katzenbaby1  @helaisthequeen @im-a-goner-foryou @hornvey @darker-soft-starker  @nerdylocksandthethreebears @canreadbutcannotwrite @carelessannie @bluestarker @briesb1tch @skimparker @idiyeet @blushing-starker-queen @buckettbarnes

Let me know if you want to be removed from the tag list, or added to it. The first three chapters of this fic are being reuploaded from my old blog, so that everyone can access them from this one. If you don’t want to be tagged for the first three chapters, but do want to be tagged for the remaining ones, let me know. 

Let the “didn’t know they were dating” fic commence... again

- 

Peter trudged through the streets, biting back a groan whenever the bustling passerby would bump into him. He felt hot, unnaturally so, and the sweat plastering his hair to the nape of his neck did nothing to cool him down. He wondered dimly when it had gotten so warm. The snow at his feet clung to his shoes, reminding him of the chill he was meant to be feeling, but he only felt uncomfortable in his jacket.

He shrugged it off, allowing the cold air to encompass his heated body. He stuffed the jacket into his backpack as he walked, and caught sight of the Spider-Man suit nestled at the bottom of the bag. Any excitement he might have had at the prospect of patrolling was replaced by dread. He was too tired to patrol, but saving lives was a job he took seriously, and so he ducked into an alley and donned his suit.

Karen switched on the heater in his suit the moment he put it on, and Peter barely restrained his complaints. Karen was programmed to keep the heater on in temperatures below 55℉, and had been ever since Tony found out that Peter couldn’t thermoregulate. If he switched it off, Karen would notify Tony, who would then badger him until he confessed that he wasn’t feeling well.

It was a protocol that Peter had thought was sweet when it was first installed. It made him feel like Tony cared about him beyond making sure he didn’t die in battle. Now, it was a thorn in his side.

Peter could only endure the additional warmth for two hours. In that time, he stopped a robbery, helped a man find his dropped hearing aid, and returned a lost dog to its crying owner.

By the time he arrived home and pulled off the suit, his body was slick all over with sweat, and his cheeks were flushed with a deeper red than he’d ever seen. He staggered over to his shower, pushing aside the curtain and falling in. He groped around the shower blindly until his hands caught the knob, which he twisted desperately until cold water started running down his face. He grasped the wall and stumbled to his feet, swaying in place as he let the water rinse off his sweat.

His head felt faint, and as his eyes roved over the stall in search of his shampoo, his vision started filling with black spots. Peter reached for his shampoo bottle once he found it, but lost his balance and fell towards it. His head smacked into the wall, and he was out like a light.

-

A hand combed through his hair, gently tugging and undoing the knots in it. Peter leaned into the comforting touch, an entirely different warmth to the one he’d been suffering from earlier filling his chest. The hand paused its ministrations, but didn’t pull away.

“Are you waking up?” a hushed voice murmured by his ear.

Peter struggled to open his eyes. His eyelids felt heavy, refusing to do anything other than twitch, and so he stared into darkness as the hand in his hair resumed its motion. He relaxed into the bed, giving up for the moment. He let himself drift in the darkness, the hand on his head his only tether to reality.

“It’s alright,” the same voice sighed fondly. “You do like your beauty sleep. Don’t worry, Pete. I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

Peter let himself slip away further at the assurance. He felt safe in the presence of that voice, warm and loving as it was.

The darkness wasn’t all that frightening now.

-

The steady beeping of the machine at Peter’s side roused him from his sleep. He shuffled in place a little as he craned his neck to the left, where he was met with a heart monitor that sounded in time with his heart. He swallowed thickly, wondering how he’d landed himself in the Med-Bay again.

“How are you feeling?”

Peter jumped in surprise, his head swivelling to the other side, where Tony was perched on a chair and watching him earnestly.

“I’m okay,” Peter took a moment to survey himself. “I have a small headache, but other than that, I’m fine.”

“Good,” Tony said, before his expression hardened. “Now, what were you thinking when you decided to patrol with a fever of 104 degrees?”

Peter groaned. “I didn’t think it was that bad.”

“You fell and hit your head in the shower,” Tony stressed. “What if you’d fallen while swinging? I doubt you’d have gotten away with only a headache if you fell thirty stories.”

Peter’s lips turned downward when he noticed the fear hidden behind the anger in Tony’s expression. “I’m sorry for scaring you.”

Tony didn’t deny his fear, though he didn’t acknowledge it, either. “I’ll be adding more protocols to your suit. This isn’t happening again.”

Peter didn’t argue.

Tony’s shoulders lost some of their tension. “Are you hungry? I had someone restock the Jell-O.”

“Do you have red?” Peter’s face lit up.

Tony reached into the pockets of his slacks and brought out two cups of red Jell-O. He handed both to Peter, before setting a plastic spoon on top of them. Peter thanked him before peeling off the wrapper on one of the cups, and dunking his spoon into it. He scooped out a spoonful of the strawberry jelly and stuffed it into his mouth, paying no mind to the thin trail of it that trickled down his chin.

Tony swiped his thumb along Peter’s chin, clearing it of the jelly before sucking it into his own mouth. Peter dropped his spoon into his cup, watching with wide eyes until Tony pulled his thumb out of his mouth and cleaned it with a napkin.

“I’ll get someone to check you out and see if you can be discharged,” Tony patted his thigh as he stood. “Stay put, sweetheart.”

Peter’s jelly lay forgotten once Tony left. He had called him sweetheart. Just yesterday, Peter was trying to get him to drop the ‘kid’ moniker, and now he’d been upgraded to ‘sweetheart’? What had changed in the span of twenty-four hours?

When Tony came back, he was followed into the room by Dr. Althea Roberts, whom Peter was more than familiar with. Dr. Roberts treated him every time he ended up in the Med-Bay, and with how often he got injured, he got to know her well. Their friendship and Dr. Roberts’ talent in the medical field made her his favorite doctor.

“Mr. Parker,” she shook her head sternly. “What you pulled yesterday could’ve gotten you killed.”

“Yesterday?” Peter’s brows knitted together.

“You woke up a few times, but for the most part, you slept for a day,” Tony explained, taking a few steps back towards the door. “I’ll give you your privacy.”

Tony was leaving the room before Peter could tell him that he didn’t mind him hearing his conversation with Dr. Roberts. Still, he appreciated the space. Tony’s worry tended to morph into nosiness, the need to know everything wrong with his friends and rectify it driving him to budge his way into places he didn’t need to be in. Peter was glad to see him working on that — it was a byproduct of his anxiety, and one that Tony himself didn’t like.

Dr. Roberts started speaking as soon as the door swung closed. “You had a high fever. When you went to shower, you hit your head and got a concussion. If your head hurts, or you’re feeling confused, that’s normal and it will stop soon. You might experience some memory loss, but it shouldn’t be anything extreme. Any memories you might have lost will come back.”

“Okay,” Peter nodded to show he understood. “How did you find me in the shower? I was alone.”

“According to Mr. Stark, a friend of yours stopped by and found you in the shower. He called Mr. Stark, who brought you here to be treated.”

Dr. Roberts asked him some preliminary questions before giving him approval for a discharge. Once she finished speaking with him, she had a nurse come in and unhook him from all of the machines surrounding his bed. The nurse brought him the spare clothes he kept in the Med-Bay for when he’d inevitably need them, and he swapped his hospital gown for them. When he finished getting dressed, he exited the room he’d been staying in, and found Tony standing in the hallway with his phone in hand.

Tony slipped his phone into his pocket. “We can go now?”

“Yes,” Peter wrung his hands shyly. “Thank you for staying with me. You didn’t have to.”

A grim look settled over Tony’s face. “I needed to make sure you were okay.”

“I am okay, if that helps,” Peter offered.

Tony wrapped an arm over his shoulders, tugging him into his side as he led him to the reception counter he’d be discharged at. Peter tried not to sink into the touch, wanting to avoid giving away how much it pleased him to be so close to Tony, but he couldn’t help curling just a little bit closer.  

“It does.”

[ubemango]

Year after year (after tear after tear)

note 1: I wrote this last semester after watching deathly hallows for the one hundredth time... I got mad that Ron/Hermione were a thing instead of Harry/Hermione ANYWAY that’s not the point of the fic but U know that feel when Ron/Lavender were together and Hermione was crying the whole time??? Yeah that’s the point of this fic. Also based off a drabble I didn’t reupload; this is the revamped version ig

+ thank you Luna and Miss Minnie for helping me out and reading through this <3

note 2: “Ella will u ever write anything other than college au” Nope die mad about it

PAIRING. jeongguk/being in love, reader/crying, taehyung/being a good friend:( GENRE. sad romance. it’s college angst RATED. T WORD COUNT. 3.4k WARNINGS. I don’t mean it. SUMMARY. Taehyung just wants you to have a good birthday.

let me go, let me stay, let me live in oblivion...

cehryl, sway

(1) 

He doesn’t even need to say she’s there. It’s the same succession of movement every time: his spine will go rigid, then his eyes will light up. Maybe he’ll twiddle his thumbs under the table too. He fidgets like he is.

“I really like her,” Jeongguk sighs.

“That’s good,” you answer.

You stab at the margins of your notebook with your pen. Taehyung doesn’t say anything. He sits across you, unwounded and wholly unbothered, taking another bite of his messy sandwich. At least he cares enough to send you a look that says he understands your vexation.

“Why don’t you go talk to her then?” Taehyung says.

Jeongguk fidgets a little more. He sends another forlorn look past Taehyung’s shoulders. “She hasn’t texted me back.”

“When’d you text her?”

“Like two hours ago.”

“Hmph,” Taehyung grumbles. Instantly you think of Jeongguk waking up with the urgent need to text Jieun. You resist making the disturbed noise that itches at your throat.

“Maybe she’s just too busy,” Jeongguk argues.

“Well she is carrying a billion textbooks,” you chime in. And you’re not wrong. Jieun stands near the pizza station, contemplating lunch choices with the burdens of fourth-year organic chemistry and animal physiology in her tiny hands. She’s dainty in that pretty way. If you had the gall, you’d be green with jealousy, but even you can’t deny her charm.

“Maybe I’ll go help her—“

Taehyung slams his hands across the table on his arm. “Do not.”

“She’s so cute.” Jeongguk resigns, sitting back down.

If you were kinder to yourself, you’d excuse your presence for the sake of finding solace in your homework elsewhere. There’s a weird mixture of pity and rapture that keeps you glued to your seat though; while you loathe to sit out one more second of Jeongguk foaming at the mouth for annoyingly-pretty-Jieun, there’s also the anchor in your heart that weighs you right back down to him. 

In a less metaphoric translation: he cut his hair and he looks really good.

“So are you… talking talking?” Taehyung asks through mushy bread.

“Sorta,” Jeongguk says. “I mean—she and I talk through Snap.”

“Does she save your messages?”

“Nope.”

“Jesus,” Taehyung says again.

“I do,” Jeongguk interjects.

“Christ.” Taehyung snorts. “Do you guys have any classes together?”

“A-level anthropology. She needed it for her degree requirement.”

It makes sense. “So she was the fourth year you had to talk to for group discussion,” you recall.

“Yeah.”

“And now you’re in love with her.” (Taehyung gives you a sharp stare.)

“Well—sure,” Jeongguk replies. “I don’t know. She’s cool. The other day she was watching a stream of someone playing Resident Evil and my heart was so—big for her.”

You scrunch your nose. He says this like you didn’t come over the second it came out and took turns playing it with him but you won’t bring it up. “Cute,” you say instead.

“Oh.” You watch his phone light up on the table. “It’s—she messaged me back.”

Jeongguk stays preoccupied tapping furiously on his screen. Taehyung finishes his sandwich with a gulp, offering you one more glance of understanding. Your chest hurts.

(2)

There’s a movie playing in the student lounge tonight. Some high-definition, revolutionary take on pop culture you haven’t watched the trailer for yet. It’s Jeongguk who invites you.  

He’s saved you a seat next to him on the couch, buttered popcorn hot on his lap. “You’re late,” Jeongguk complains when you fall into the cushion next to him.

“I don’t like movies.”

“But you like me.”

You know it’s a joke. But offence comes in the form of a shiver that runs right down your back, and if he was any closer he probably would have felt it. “Sure,” you answer instead. “Taehyung not here yet?”

“Nah.” He tips the bucket in your direction in offering, and you scoop a handful of kernels. “He had some band rehearsal or something. He’ll probably come later.”

The opening scenes drone into a buzz you pay half-attention to. A lot of people are here tonight, and the convention of silence isn’t something they really care about because you can barely hear what you’re not even trying to listen to. Jeongguk groans. “So loud,” he says.

You shrug. “Are you sad about that?”

“Shut up.” He clicks his tongue. Spreads his legs and leans back attractively, and you cross your legs to distract yourself from the sudden track of desire that makes a course through your head. Literally any boy could do the same douchey thing and you’d find it gross, but Jeongguk was never any boy. Jeongguk is clumsy and knocks his knees against yours and apologizes quick under his breath, and you notice he hasn’t looked at you once.

You don’t put it past him. You probably shouldn’t be so preoccupied with your messy love life when the one it concerns is right next to you. But it’s easy to get lost in the lull of the movie you’re not here for, seeking out Jeongguk’s presence, because it’s what you do when you don’t care about the consequences.

You turn to him when he nudges your shoulder.

“Hey,” he whispers. 

“Yeah?”

“I see Jieun.”

Of course he sees Jieun. You know how it works. The signal that blares the second you notice something’s right about the room, your periphery shrinking into the one thing, and it was Jeongguk sitting on this couch. You didn’t even need to search for him because he was just there. Now Jieun is just there and and you’re here but not to Jeongguk. 

Never for Jeongguk.

You nod in agreement. “Yeah. Up front?”

“Mhm.”

The glow of the screen surrounds her, almost like she’s some holy deity. Trust Jieun to make the back of her head just as pretty as her face. There’s bitterness, but there’s also acceptance, and that’s what’s mashing at your insides. “She’s alone,” you remark.

“She says she likes going to the movies here,” Jeongguk says, and it clicks.

“So you’re here for her.”

He scratches his chin, frowning. “I—maybe. Yeah,” he flounders.

You're quiet for the sake of being polite, but a million derisive words jumble quiet in your head. Like you’d said earlier, you don’t even like movies. But it meant an hour and a half of wondering if his thigh would touch yours. An amalgamation of all the sweetest things you could imagine happening in this two-seater, and he won’t spare you one glance. 

You find your words before you start floundering, too. “So are you gonna talk to her?”

“I want to.”

“You should if you want to.”

“I just—“ he pauses when the dialogue continues loudly on-screen— “I… have a question.”

“Sure.”

“Friend to friend.” Your insides freeze up. For a strange couple seconds, you contemplate laughing. “I just—I feel so clueless. I like her a lot but it feels like it’s going nowhere. One second I’m texting her and it really seems like it’s going somewhere and then she doesn’t talk to me for two days.”

“Sounds rough,” you offer. 

“It’s annoying. I don’t know. I mean we’re nowhere near exclusive but I’m still sorta hurt, y’know? Is it—is it wrong for me to feel like that? Am I allowed to feel this sad?”

Jeongguk takes the pause for your initial thoughts to dump a handful of popcorn in his mouth. You both stare forward, and you know who he’s looking at. “Is that your question?” You mumble.

“Yeah.”

You stick your hand in the bucket. Jeongguk takes his hand out. “You’re allowed to be sad.”

“Hm,” he huffs.

“It’s a bad feeling—like you’re going somewhere with someone when you really aren’t,” you continue. You bring your knees up to your chest, and if your shoes scuff the couch you don’t really care. “It’s not your fault. I get it. You get the—the hope that she’ll keep talking to you, because if she’s not then it feels like she doesn’t care, right? And it all just blows up in your face when you don’t talk but when you do it feels good again. You know. Like a cycle.”

Jeongguk nods fast. “A dumb cycle,” he snorts, and you can’t help but agree.

“You’ll be fine,” you say.

“Thanks.” He bumps his elbow against yours in an effort to lighten up the mood. “You know. Whoever you end up with? They’re really lucky.”

Ouch. That’s literally the last thing you’d planned on hearing tonight, but you’ll take it anyway. “You’re too nice to me.”

“I mean it!”

“Thanks.” You’ve never doubted his sincerity—never will. But when it works against your favour, it’s hard to hide being terse. Especially when you have nothing left to say. 

On-screen, a couple shares a passionate kiss.

“I don’t like this movie,” you decide.

Jeongguk hums. “Sorry.”

The moment is done. You had come for loveless possibilities; watched them disintegrate with every word Jeongguk spoke. The rational part of your brain reminds you it isn’t his fault. 

It’s always yours.

“You should go sit with her,” you encourage.

“Really?”

If Jeongguk’s trying to hide his excitement, it’s not working. He sucks in his bottom lip. Something he does when he’s contemplating anything nerve-wracking, and with the awful feeling stabbing your stomach, you remember how hard it is to forget the small things about him. “Go. I’ll save this seat for Taehyung.”

“Alright,” he resolves. He hands you the popcorn bucket. Gives you one last hopeful look and bounds off to the front without warning. 

You watch him whisper to get Jieun's attention. She adjusts fast, it seems—he slides in the couch right next to her in an instant. When his shoulder touches hers, your heart shatters.

Taehyung doesn’t show up. When the movie’s done, Jeongguk and Jieun are nowhere to be seen. 

At least you got the popcorn to yourself.

(3)

“You’re such a masochist,” Taehyung declares.

“Maybe.”

"Stop talking to him."

"Stop talking to our best friend?" No one really comes to the library on weekends. It's a void you signed up to volunteer in, shelving books in peace. But this time Taehyung insisted he come by to help you out. Really he'd just felt bad that he couldn't make it to movie night last week, and he'd listened to the failed outcome with kind ears—and unkind advice. "I can't just—do that."

"I mean like taking a friendship break," he suggests. You hand him the generous weight of a British literature anthology to slot in. "What the fuck. This is so heavy. Anyway go join a club or something. Distract yourself."

"So much work."

"Yeah but would you rather die every time J-word comes around?" Taehyung frowns when you push the trolley ahead without him. "Priorities. Priorities!"

His volume is a touch higher than the acceptable whisper, and you make sure his foot falls victim to the sudden stop of the wheels. He grumbles when it scuffs his shoe. "It's not easy!" You scold tightly.

"Neither is sticking around him all the time! It's been three years. We graduate soon. And I don't want to sound mean, but you need to deal with all of this better."

What he means? An honest effort. What you take from it? Nothing, because dealing with it means confronting your feelings with a rationality you don't have. You'll never be poised enough for that. 

"It's not easy," you repeat.

You're getting restive, rifling through the spines of books with unsteady hands. You want to blame the coffee you had before coming in, but the more you succumb to Taehyung's comfort, the more you unravel. He does nothing but watch now. "Are you okay?" He asks. "Like really?"

Easy question. You still hesitate. "Nope."

He sighs like he didn't want that answer. "It's been a long time, huh."

Of what, he doesn't say. He doesn't need to. You know what the context is—Jeongguk became a constant the minute you'd exchanged hellos in first year. Your friendship was never an extravagant affair: just something you'd pursued with no romantic prompt whatsoever, because statistics isn't the easiest for people who are only doing it for the credit. He's always been good at easy things.

It's all about happenstance. How saying hi to a kind face in a cold classroom means unfolding three years worth of tumult. You think of all the fairytales you’ve lived: fifth-grade harbingers of cheek kisses, high school promises that would bring you to the ends of the Earth. Now, a lost cause, because college isn’t grounds for fair endings, and the authors of your fate are not kind. How easy it would be to just pick it up and shove it along with the other books you push into the shelf.

You can't help but mirror Jeongguk's anguish. "I'm stupid," you confess, rounding the next aisle to crouch and stock the bottom of the bookcase. 

Taehyung hums. "You're not."

"It's my fault."

"It's not your fault," he argues. "You're just good at loving someone. But that doesn't mean it feels good. Don't be mad when I say what I'm about to say."

"Okay," you caution.

"Sometimes I want to punch your head," Taehyung explains. He tuts when you make a target of his ankle with the hardcover in your hand. "You know? Pinch the I love Jeongguk nerves till they go away."

"You're very nice.”

He runs a hand along the spines of the history of the Middle Ages. "I just don't like seeing you so hurt all the time,” he says. He walks on ahead wordlessly. You stare at the boring carpet of the floor, and think of how nice it is to have Taehyung as a friend.

(3.9)

There’s something particularly amazing about the drive to do well in school: the hyper-sensitive awareness of your dwindling sense of self, because late nights and dehydration have pretty much become personal traits at this point. You’ll look online for ways to do self-care later. It’s a fatalistic time of year, studying for exams. Maybe you should straighten your back, but no one’s in your room to scold you this late at night.

It takes two seconds past midnight for Taehyung to bulldoze through your text notifications.

[12:00:02 AM] taehyubg: HAPPY

[12:00:04 AM] taehyubg: BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [12:00:09 AM] taehyubg: Sorry u have to study about profit margins or whatever [12:00:15 AM] taehyubg: Take it easy 👌🏼

[12:00:30 AM] You: thank you :)

[12:00:38 AM] You: fhdfkjhsfkjf i’m tired!!!!! buy me coffee tomorrow as ur gift

[12:01:09 AM] taehyubg: Yeah

[12:01:13 AM] taehyubg: Maybe

[12:01:15 AM] taehyubg: :P

[12:01:29 AM] taehyubg: Ok I’ll let u study. Seriously though. good luck!

[12:01:40 AM] You: thank u:) again lol

You lay your phone down flat. Too many temptations to consider if you keep the screen within your periphery, but that doesn't stop you from leaving the ringer on.

In the thoughtless state of staring at your loopy handwriting, you think of Jeongguk.

Maybe he’s hunched over his desk, too. Contemplating his own writing, because they’re incomprehensible and he’s too proud to give up the faux-cursive he’s learned for fast lecturers. 

Or maybe he’s lying down in bed, considering sleep with tired eyes. Maybe he listens to the ticking of his clock. The seconds trailing past midnight, and maybe, you hope, maybe it’s still too early, because he's never forgotten your birthday before.

The shrieks of your phone scratching the wood on your desk ring loud. You try not to sink into sad possibilities. So you grab for it, and the split second before you swipe, you see Jeongguk’s face, and you sigh in relief. 

“Hi,” his voice filters through the line. "Is it—am I too late? Is it late?"

"No. Not at all," you answer a little more breathlessly than you want to let on.

"Oh. Cool. Ha. How—how are you?"

Not an uncommon greeting but you thought—”I’m good."

"Good. You're studying too right? You have your exam tomorrow?"

"So you just called to check on me?"

"Sure."

"Ah. Okay," you whisper. 

"Actually, no—I. I called because I just wanted someone to talk to. If that's okay."

The screen is strikingly cold on your hot cheek. If you focus hard enough, the atoms inside you might collide faster and burst into complete hysterics. You think the drama is warranted. 

Of course he forgot your birthday. 

"It's fine,” you mumble. “Are you okay?"

"I just—ahhh… Just nervous is all. Jieun, she—we’re seeing another movie tomorrow night, so."

"Well you're just watching a movie."

"Yeah but. I don't know. I don't have you, this time."

You could analyze the irony of that sentence but then you'd really explode. The softness of his words are stifling. "Sorry."

"I just want it to be perfect," he says.

"That's good."

Jeongguk makes a rough noise. Stretching, probably. "Are you sure I'm not calling too late?"

"Positive," you answer. Rigid in your posture, like how he changes his stance when he sees Jieun. Now, you don't really see anything. Just the blur of the oddities of your messy notes and the very real truth of the boy who knows nothing, sitting in his room, oblivious to the pounding of your heart. Your head. It hurts to keep your eyes open.

"Cool. Thanks," he sighs. "Thanks for—uh. Listening. I keep talking about... her. Don't I?"

"Yeah, but. We can't help who we like, can we."

"Right."

Tonight he talks about her pretty fingernails, and her shiny hair. The buzzing in your ears cuts him off thirty minutes into the phone call. You think you might convince yourself to spew the polemic sitting ugly under your tongue, so you bid him a hasty goodbye with the excuse of covering content you haven't gotten to yet. 

He hangs up first. You feel much, much older. 

(4)

There’s a bench on the east side of campus, across the iron statue of a revered professor. It’s decorated with a dandelion flower crown. A bird alights on its head. Taehyung meets you with a medium coffee, and a muted smile. 

"You did good," he says. 

You give him an attempt at a grateful look. Today, nothing sits right: the exam was hellish, and the skin of your ring finger throbs red from writing too hard. The loom of your headache threatens a siege but you sip at the heat of your coffee before you can think about it. “Thanks.”

Taehyung sighs into his seat. “Nice weather,” he jokes. He points at the chubby swallow currently chirping high noises of delight. “It’s saying happy birthday.”

“That’s cute.”

“Speaking of a little birdie,” he clears his throat, “heard our little fledgling was psyched for another date soon.”

You are very aware. And it’s not like he had to be cautious about bringing the subject up—Taehyung’s as much of an insider about Jeongguk’s love life as much as you are victim. Friendship codes are complicated. Taehyung knows how much you hurt. “He called me last night.”

“He did?”

“Oh yeah. Told me all about how he wanted everything to be perfect,” you recall. You feel the daggers of Taehyung’s gaze on your face. “I—I don’t know anything anymore.”

He shrugs. “You’re smart.”

“He didn’t remember it was my birthday.”

“So did you remind him?”

“No,” you admit.

“You’re smart,” Taehyung repeats. “Letting him get all in his head. Makes his downfall that much better.”

You take refuge in his aggressive comfort, the dying warmth of the cup in your hands. The grip you have, tightens. “So what I’m hearing is that you’re on my side.”

“I don’t give a fuck about Jieun this, Jieun that.” He clicks his teeth. “Maybe I do. I don’t know. But if all that it does is make you so small like this…”

The swallow has been pecking at the professor’s glasses. It takes a moment to reflect, twisting its neck in a robotic staccato. Then it flies off. Up, up—flapping and struggling, and it soars right past the windows of the student lounge.

Jeongguk and Jieun make a very pretty pair waiting in line for free popcorn. Taehyung lets you squeeze his arm.

“Is it supposed to feel like this?” You falter in the question. 

“No,” he says. He accepts your tears with his hard shoulder. “It shouldn’t. But happy birthday anyway.”

[abusybuzzingbee]

Pilot | Supernatural Season 1 Episode 1 Rewrite | Dean x Reader

A/N:::: Hello!! I am a royal dumbass and just accidentally deleted my whole tumblr. I was trying to get rid of my main account and accidentally got rid of it all!! So, this is bee from @abusybuzzingbee coming back at you with reuploads of my supernatural rewrites. So sorry to all of my supporters for my tomfoolery.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Major Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader, Sam Winchester

Warnings: Canon violence, language, Dean and the reader being assholes to each other, this is going to be the slowest burn that ever did burn, so buckle up!

Word Count: 7,643

Summary: The reader is a lonely young hunter on the road to Jericho, California where she bumps into two boys on the search for their father.

Series Rewrite Masterlist

Season 1 Masterlist

It was an early morning yesterday

I was up before the dawn.’

‘Funny how the sun’s just rising,’ you thought.

‘And I really have enjoyed my stay

But I must be moving on.’

The sound of the familiar tune of “Goodbye Stranger” coming from the radio of your new hijacked wheels-- a 2002 Toyota Camry, to be exact-- put a smile on your face.

‘Like a king without a castle

Like a queen without a throne

I’m an early morning lover

And I must be moving on.’

As you drove along a remote highway on the way to Jericho, California, you threw a glance to the wind lightly rustling the leaves of the trees outside of your driver’s side mirror.

‘Now I believe in what you say

Is the undisputed truth.’

Scenes such as this have always calmed you. The first beams of light stretching up from over the horizon, the vivid colors of the tree leaves, the hum of the radio of your newest car, and the sound of your tires gliding over the pavement. 

‘But I have to have things my own way

To keep me in my youth.’

These road trips in between hunts were the only taste you had ever had of a normal life. Not that you wanted a normal life, you think you would be too bored in the suburbs. However, it is comforting to have a small break from monsters while driving from place to place to relax.

‘Like a ship without an anchor

Like a slave without a chain

Just a thought of those sweet ladies

Sends a shiver through my veins.’

The latest case you had picked up on was the disappearance of several men on Centennial Highway in Jericho. 

‘And I will go on shining

Shining like brand new

I’ll never look behind me

My troubles will be few.’

The last disappearance had been some kid named Troy. Poor bastard.

You had very little knowledge of what you were walking into. You decided that you would head to the scene of the crime to try and get a better idea of what you were dealing with.

‘Goodbye stranger

It’s been nice

Hope you find your paradise

Tried to see your point of view

Hope your dreams will all come true.’

Just a few more hours and you’d be there.

‘Goodbye Mary, goodbye Jane--’

You turned the music up just a bit as you picked up your speed on the highway and thought about my last successful hunt in Alexandria, Louisiana. 

‘Will we ever meet again?’

You were proud of how you did on that hunt, but it was freeing to leave towns you had previously hunted in in your rearview mirror.

‘Feel no sorrow, feel no shame--’

It wasn’t a matter of feeling guilty about what you had done while you were in that town; you had nothing to feel guilty about. It just always hurt you to think of the sad faces of the people who had already lost family members before you got there to do your job.

‘Come tomorrow, feel no pain--’

There would always be that little bit of trauma that you carried with you because of all you had seen on hunts, but c’est la vie.

‘Sweet devotion (Goodbye, Mary)

It’s not for me (Goodbye, Jane).’

You let your mind go blank and get completely absorbed in the music as you continued to drive along.

‘Just give me motion (Will we ever)

To set me free (Meet again?)’

Music was the one constant in your life that kept you grounded. It was so powerful. Music could express so many feelings and bring those same emotions out of its listeners.

‘In the land and the ocean (Feel no sorrow)

Far away (Feel no shame)--’

You loved oldies music. From ‘70′s hippie music to ‘80′s rock, all the way back to Edith Piaf in the 1940′s. 

‘It’s the life I’ve chosen (Come tomorrow)

Every day (Feel no pain)’

You wished you had the time to sit down for long enough to learn to play an instrument. There was a whole list of things you wanted to learn to play including piano, guitar, ukelele, and drums. 

‘Maybe one day,’ you thought.

‘So goodbye, Mary (Goodbye, Mary)

Goodbye, Jane (Goodbye, Jane)

Will we ever (Will we ever)

Meet again? (Meet again?)’

**** 

A few hours later, you were parked on Sylvania Bridge in Jericho. You had stopped a few miles back at a gas station to change into an outfit that looked a little more professional than a pair of baggy sweatpants and a t-shirt and opted for one of the many police uniforms you carried around with you. This one was a federal marshal suit. Included the khakis, shirt with a little police badge on the pocket, and a belt with your fake badge on it. It was your mom’s. She threw herself into the many roles she played on the job and made sure she had the costumes to fit the part. Once she passed, you just couldn’t let them go.

You hopped out of the car and walked over to the scene of the crime. You noticed two boys that looked about my age talking to one of the deputies on site. You watched them flash badges to the deputy, but neither was in uniform. 

‘Oh, boy.’

"You two are a little young for marshals, aren't you?” you heard the deputy remark as you walked up to them. 

“Thanks, that’s awfully kind of you,” the shorter guy laughed. 

'That’s my cue,’ you thought.

“Hiya, fellas,” you smiled brightly, glancing between the three of them.

The two guys turned back to look at you. The shorter one pointed at himself with a questioning look on his face directed at you. You eyed him, attempting to tell him to just go with it. 

“Why aren’t you two in uniform?” you asked, standing next to the taller boy and glancing between the two of them. You looked at the deputy. “Sorry to have them bothering you. New hires,” you lied, rolling your eyes. “I’m supposed to oversee how they handle this case.”

“Mm-hmm...” the deputy said, squinting at you. He was clearly suspicious.

I extended my right hand to the deputy and reached for my badge with the other. “I’m Agent Nicks, nice to meet you.” I showed him my badge.

“Deputy Jaffe.” He shook my hand and nodded at my badge.

“Man, you guys can’t catch a break. You just had another killing like this, right?” I nodded my head at Troy’s car at the center of the crime scene as I spoke. 

“Yeah, that's right. About a mile up the road. There've been others before that,” the deputy spoke as I walked over to the car, the two boys trailing behind me.

“So, this victim, you knew him?” The taller boy questioned.

The deputy nodded. “Town like this, everybody knows everybody.”

The shorter boy circled the car once and stopped between the taller boy and I. “Any connection between the victims, besides that they're all men?” he asked.

“No,” Jaffe answered, “Not so far as we can tell.”

“So what's the theory?” The taller guy asked.

“Honestly, we don't know. Serial murder? Kidnapping ring?”

“Well, that is exactly the kind of crack police work I'd expect out of you guys,” the shorter guy quipped.

Your eyes widened as you watched the deputy’s incredulous expression. You didn’t like this kid already. You bit back a snicker when the dude who was with him stomped on his foot.

“Thank you for your time. Gentlemen,” the tall guy nodded.

You turned to follow your two “colleagues” away from the crime scene. The shorter guy smacked the taller one on the back of the head.

“Ow! What was that for?” 

“Why'd you have to step on my foot?”

“Why do you have to talk to the police like that?”

The two men realized you were following them and turned to look at you.

“Uh, can we help you?” the shorter one asked.

“No,” you replied. “I’ll be out of your hair in a second. I just think it’d be a little weird if I left the scene of the crime without regrouping with my ‘proteges’ first.”

The taller one nodded. It became clear to you he was the sensible one of the two.

“About that--” the shorter one came back, implying that you should explain yourself.

“Yeah, sorry for stepping all over your hunt.”

The two seemed in disbelief that you had figured out their secret.

“Takes one to know one,” You snickered. “I had to get the same information you two did, and it’d look really weird if two rounds of federal marshals came through for one case. I’m (Y/N), by the way.” You stuck out your hand for the two of them to shake.

The taller one took it first. “I’m Sam,” he smiled, “that’s my brother, Dean.” 

You shook Dean’s hand after Sam’s.

“You shake hands?” Dean asked.

You shrugged with a tilt of your head to the side.

“Weird.”

You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Well,” you sighed, “I got this hunt under control if you boys wanna hit the road.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady,” Dean started, “We were here first.”

“Geez, sorry. I thought I was doing you guys a favor by letting you hit the road.”

“Sorry,” Sam spoke for his brother, “We’re looking for our dad. The only information we have on where he could be is here, so we’ve got this covered.”

You nodded. “I hope you find him soon. Good meeting you two.” You turned to leave.

“Wait,” Sam called after you. “Three heads are better than two. We could use your help.”

Dean was quick to cut in. “No, no we do not--”

“What?” you asked, smirking. “You don’t like me Dean-o?”

He opened his mouth to respond, obviously trying to think of something to say. He came up blank after a few seconds.

You chuckled. “I’m down to help.”

Sam smiled brightly at you. “Great!” 

You glanced over Sam’s shoulder and your jaw clenched. Sam turned to follow your gaze.

The sheriff was talking to two FBI agents. He looked at you three pointedly. “Can I help you kids?”

“No, sir, we were just leaving,” Dean told him. He then nodded at the FBI agents as they walked past your trio. “Agent Mulder. Agent Scully.”

The three of you headed past the sheriff, whose gaze you could feel piercing through your back.

You noticed the 1967 Impala parked a little farther back than your car, wondering how you could have missed it when you pulled up to the scene.

“Aw, cool!” you exclaimed, quickly walking over to it. “Sweet ride.”  You ran your hand over the hood.

“Hey,” Dean called, “Hands off my baby.”

“You dating a car, Grumpy?” you smirked. 

He rolled his eyes at you. 

“Those your wheels over there?” Sam asked. He nodded towards your Camry.

“Unfortunately. Had to jack that car a few states back,” you responded.

Sam nodded. “You can catch a ride back with us if you want.”

Dean tossed a look at his brother.

“Cool, thanks,” you answered, smiling. “Let me just pull it off the road into some trees or something.”

***

"Who are we looking for again?” you asked the boys as you strolled around town. You had ditched your federal marshal getup and left it along with the rest of your stuff in the back of Dean’s car. 

Dean scoffed at your question.

“Hey, you didn’t answer the first time I asked, so I had to do it again,” you threw back.

“Troy’s girlfriend,” Sam answered.

“Thank you, Sam.” You threw a pointed look at Dean. He just turned his face away from you.

A few paces down from your pack, a young girl with brown hair was putting missing posters up with Troy’s face on them. 

"I'll bet you that's her,” Dean pointed out.

“Yeah,” Sam affirmed.

Your group walked up to her as Dean spoke, “You must be Amy.”

“Yeah,” she answered plainly.

“Yeah, Troy told us about you. We're his uncles. I'm Dean, this is Sammy.”

“And who’s that?” Amy glanced at you.

“I’m (Y/N). A friend of theirs.”

Amy nodded, looking back to Sam and Dean. “He never mentioned you to me.” She began to walk away with her posters.

Dean was quick to follow her. “Well, that's Troy, I guess. We're not around much, we're up in Modesto.”

“So, we're looking for him too, and we're kinda asking around,” Sam continued for Dean.

A friend of Amy’s came up to her and asked, “Hey, are you okay?”

Once Amy responded with a simple, “Yeah,” her friend stayed with her.

"You mind if we ask you a couple questions?” I asked Amy.

***

You, Amy’s friend, Rachel, and Amy were packed into one side of a diner booth while Sam and Dean sat opposite you.  

Amy spoke about what happened the night Troy went “missing.” “I was on the phone with Troy. He was driving home. He said he would call me right back, and...he never did.”

“He didn't say anything strange, or out of the ordinary?” Sam asked.

Amy shook her head. “No. Nothing I can remember.”

You glanced at the pentagram pendant she was wearing. “I like your necklace.”

“Troy gave it to me. Mostly to scare my parents with all that devil stuff,” Amy laughed. 

You smiled. “Actually, it means just the opposite. A pentagram is protection against evil. Really powerful. I mean, if you believe in that kind of thing.” 

“Okay,” Dean cut in. “Thank you, Unsolved Mysteries.”

You rolled your eyes at him while he took his arm off of the back of Sam’s seat and leaned forward on his elbows. “Here's the deal, ladies. The way Troy disappeared, something's not right. So if you've heard anything...” he trailed off, waiting for them to answer.

Amy and Rachel glanced between each other. 

“What is it?” Dean asked.

“Well, it's just,” Rachel began, “I mean, with all these guys going missing, people talk."

“About?” You questioned turning a bit more inward to Rachel. 

“It's kind of this local legend. This one girl? She got murdered out on Centennial, like decades ago,” Rachel stated.

You watched Rachel attentively, nodding.

“Well, supposedly she's still out there. She hitchhikes, and whoever picks her up? Well, they disappear forever.”

You glanced at the boys with a quirked eyebrow.

***

Dean typed away on the library computer on the archive search page for the Jericho Herald. He had the words “Female Murder Hitchhiking" typed into the search bar. When he pressed enter, nothing came up. Dean replaced “Hitchhiking” with “Centennial Highway,” and once again, crickets. 

“Wait a minute,” Sam started, “So angry spirits are born out of violent death, right?”

“Yeah,” Dean replied as if it was obvious.

“Well, maybe it’s not murder,” Sam stated.

“Ohhh,” you started, “I’m pickin’ up what you’re puttin’ down.” You knew Sam was thinking suicide.

Sam smiled at you.

“Let me try,” Sam told Dean.

“I got it,” Dean came back.

Sam shoved Dean out of the chair and took over.

“Dude!” Dean hit Sam on the shoulder. “You're such a control freak.”

You laughed at their banter.

“Can it, (Y/N),” Dean told you.

“So, what I can’t laugh?”

“No, no, you can’t.”

“I literally just met you and I’ve had it up to here--” you flattened your hand and put it up by your eyebrow, “--with you already--”

“The feeling is mutual, sweetheart,” Dean cut you off. 

“You two wanna stop?” Sam asked. “Come look at this.”

Just as you thought, Sam had put “suicide” in place of “murder” in the search bar.

Sam snapped you out of your thoughts by saying, “This was 1981. Constance Welch, twenty-four years old, jumps off Sylvania Bridge, drowns in the river.”

“Does it say why she did it?” Dean asked.

“Yeah,” you started, leaning over Sam’s shoulder to get a better look at the screen, “An hour before they found her, she calls 911. Apparently, her two little kids are in the bathtub. She leaves them alone for a minute, and when she comes back, they aren't breathing. Both die.”

Something about the situation did not sit right with you; it sounded familiar. 

Sam continued reading. “‘ 'Our babies were gone, and Constance just couldn't bear it,' said husband Joseph Welch.’”

“The bridge look familiar to you?” Dean pointed out, looking at a picture of a man-- presumably Constance’s husband-- crying standing next to Sylvania Bridge.

“Well, we know where we’re headed,” you commented, walking toward the exit of the library. You could feel Dean’s eyes on you as you left.

***

By the time you finally got to Sylvania Bridge, it was late at night. You and the boys had stopped for a bite to eat before going back to the bridge. Troy’s car had long since been removed, the crime scene completely cleared out. 

Dean looked out over the edge of the bridge, standing next to you and Sam. “So this is where Constance took the swan dive.”

“So you think Dad would have been here?” Sam looked over at his brother.

"Well, he's chasing the same story and we're chasing him.” Dean continued down the bridge, the taller boy trailing behind him.

“Okay, so now what?”

“Now we keep digging until we find him. Might take a while.”

Sam stopped. “Dean, I told you, I've gotta get back by Monday—”

The brunet stopped, turning around. “Monday. Right. The interview.” Aggravation was clear in his tone.

“Yeah.”

You thought it best to take a step back while they had this discussion.

"Yeah, I forgot. You're really serious about this, aren't you? You think you're just going to become some lawyer? Marry your girl?” Dean’s tone got a bit more of an edge to it.

“Maybe. Why not?” Sam pushed back.

“Does Jessica know the truth about you? I mean, does she know about the things you've done?”

Sam stepped closer to Dean. “No, and she's not ever going to know.”

The older boy did not back down. “Well, that's healthy. You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you're going to have to face up to who you really are.” He turned around and kept walking.

Sam followed him, his arms out in question. “And who's that?”

“You're one of us.” Dean gestured to himself and back to you staying several paces back,

Sam hurried to get in front of his brother. “No. I'm not like you. This is not going to be my life.”

“You have a responsibility to—”

“To Dad? And his crusade? If it weren't for pictures I wouldn't even know what Mom looks like. And what difference would it make? Even if we do find the thing that killed her, Mom's gone. And she isn't coming back.”

When Dean grabbed his brother by the collar and shoved him against the bridge, you jumped into action.

“Hey, knock it off, Dean.”

“(Y/N)--” Dean warned, giving you a sideways glare. He looked back at Sam. “Don't talk about her like that.” He let Sam go and walked away from him.

You hurried over to Sam. “You okay?” You put your hand on his shoulder and met his hazel eyes.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Guys,” Dean called.

You looked to Dean who stared down to the railing at the edge of the bridge.

“Constance,” you let out, coming to stand next to Dean.

Constance looked back at your group before stepping off of the railing.

The three of you ran to the railing. 

“Where'd she go?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know, wanna jump down there and find out?” you sassed.

Dean glared at you as the sound of the Impala’s engine roared behind you.

The older Winchester flipped around. “What the—” 

Sam wheeled around, too. “Who's driving your car?” 

Dean pulled the keys out of his pocket and jingled them, his green eyes never leaving the Impala.

The car jerked into motion, barrelling over the bridge straight toward you and the Winchesters.

“Go! Go!” you yelled, turning and sprinting away.

Dean and Sam sped ahead of you, and you noticed the car gaining on you. Your heart raced and your breathing was labored. The car was way too close for comfort and left you with just one option.

You threw yourself over the railing, just barely managing to hang onto the edge of the bridge.

You heard the car engine stop just as something-- or someone-- hit the water.

You pulled yourself back over the railing and noticed Sam sitting on the railing calling for Dean.

You rushed over to Sam, leaning over the railing to try to find Dean.

He popped up a second later, his usually spikey hair flattened to his head with mud. In fact, his whole body was covered in mud.

“You okay?” You called down to him.

Dean sarcastically held up a thumb and pursed his lips. 

“Hey, I’m just checking on you, don’t be an ass,” you yelled back, a small smile playing on your lips.

“Fuck off,” he grunted, annoyed.

Sam laughed and got back onto the bridge.

You headed over to the Impala and checked it over, grabbing a towel out of your bag.

Dean had managed to climb back onto the bridge and made his way over to his baby. He opened the car’s hood and poked around to see if Constance had damaged it at all. After a moment, he shut the hood and leaned on it.

“Your car all right?” you heard Sam ask are you walked over to Dean with the towel.

“Yeah, whatever she did to it, seems all right now. That Constance chick, what a bitch!” He yelled at the spirit. 

You put the towel on Dean’s head and started to dry his hair off when he jerked away from you.

“What are you doing?”

You were quick to put the towel back on his head. “Helping.”

The dirty blond ripped the towel out of your hands. “I got it.”

“Fine.” You raised your hands up in surrender. You leaned against the car next to Dean. “You know, I been thinkin’.”

“That’s dangerous.”

“Shut up, Dean. I’m serious.” You paused, taking in a breath. “Constance is a woman in white.”

Sam pursed his lips, shrugging. “Makes sense. I mean, the dead kids, suicide, killing unfaithful men.”

“Maybe.” The older Winchester’s monotone voice was followed by silence. A silence that was broken a few moments later by Sam.

“You smell like a toilet.”

You scrunched up your nose and giggled. 

“Can it, (Y/N).”

***

“You guys having a reunion or something?” the clerk asked, looking at the credit card Dean had placed on the motel’s front desk.

Sam cocked his head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“I had another guy, Burt Aframian. He came and bought out a room for the whole month.”

Dean looked over to his brother briefly and then turns his head back to the clerk. “What room’s he in?”

“Listen, kid, I can’t go around giving out people’s room numbers.”

Dean rolled his eyes.

You stepped out from behind the two boys. “Oh, please sir? He’s family, and we haven’t seen him in a while.” You gave him your best puppy dog eyes.

“Fine.”

***

“That how you get all the guys?”

“What?” you asked, not bothering to face Dean to answer his question. The two of you were stationed outside of John Winchester's room playing lookout while Sam picked the lock on the door.

“You know what I mean. I saw you makin’ eyes at the clerk.”

“Yeah, to get a room number.” You turned to face him, crossing your arms over your chest. “And it worked, didn’t it?”

“Oh, yeah. It worked real well.” He turned to face you.

“You know, you don’t have to be such a dick all the time. I met you yesterday and have given you no reason not to like me. What’s your deal?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, my plate is kind of full. I’m trying to figure out what the hell happened to my dad. I have no idea whether he’s alive, dead, or captured, and he’s the only parent I have left. And my little brother is solely concerned about getting back to fucking Stanford, and I’m not even sure he cares about what happened to our dad. And now, enter (Y/N) trying to take over a hunt that is the only tie I have to my dad.” Dean’s face was incredibly close to yours.

Sam had long since gone into the room and decided to leave the two of you alone to hash out your frustrations.

You held your ground, but your voice took on less of an angry tone. You were strictly playing defense at this point. “But I wasn’t trying to take it over to be mean, and as soon as you got so defensive about the hunt, I backed down and just offered to help--”

“Yeah, and I didn't want your help. Sam was the one who let you in, probably hoping that if you were here he could shag ass back to Stanford. So forgive me if I’m a little on edge.” He pulled his face away from yours, wheeling around to pinch the bridge of his nose. 

“Well, I’m sorry for being such an inconvenience. Perhaps you’ve forgotten the fact that I’ve helped you guys more than I’ve hurt you. I pulled your asses out of a crack when you were talking to the police. I was the one who figured out what kind of a spook we’re dealing with here. I want you to find your dad. I really do. But I also want you to stop being so awful to me. And it’s just me specifically!” You threw your arms up in the air. At some point during the first part of your rant, Dean had looked back at you over his shoulder. “You’re so nice to Sam--I mean, about as nice as brothers are to each other-- and I can tell you care about him. I can tell you have a good heart. So why choose to be an ass?”

When Dean didn’t answer, you shook your head. “Whatever. I’m leaving.” You clutched your duffel bag strap on your shoulder tightly, your knuckles turning white.

“To go where?”

“Away. You win. Ya got what you wanted.”

“Wait, (Y/N)--”

“Tell Sam I said ‘bye.’”

***

The heat of midday had your baby hairs stuck to your head with sweat. You had been walking for a while now, just trying to find somewhere remote enough that you could steal a car without getting seen. 

You hiked along a highway surrounded by dense trees, the rustling sound of the green leaves filling your head. You took a deep breath, allowing peace to wash over you. You never had to see Dean Winchester again, although you would miss Sam. He was the closest thing to a friend you’ve had in a while. 

A familiar engine roar overpowered the sound of the rustling you had been hearing. The car pulled off of the highway just behind you, coming to a stop. 

You took your bottom lip in your mouth under your top one, closing your eyes and stopping your walk.

You heard the opening and closing of the car’s door as you turned around, a small smile on your lips.

“You know,” Sam started, walking toward you, “It’s kind of rude to leave without saying ‘goodbye.’“ 

You let out a laugh. “Hey, Sam.”

He pulled you into a quick hug. “Hey. I heard what happened.”

You looked down at the mixture of grass and gravel below your combat boots. “Yeah.”

“And I know you probably never wanna see Dean’s face again, but we need your help. I do, and he does, whether he wants to admit it or not. We can all get out of here a lot quicker if we work together. You can get away from Dean, I can get back to Stanford, and Dean can find our dad.”

“Where is Dean?”

“Arrested.”

“Oh,” you said quietly, nodding.  “Okay.” You put on a smile. “What now?”

***

Much later in the day, after going to visit Joseph Welch, you and Sam were sitting in a diner grabbing a bite to eat. The both of you were brainstorming what to do to get Dean out of jail and what to do about that Constance bitch. The conversation had shifted from those two topics once you had a solid plan to simply small talk between friends.

“So what’s your story?” you asked, taking a bite out of one of your fries.

“What?”

“I picked up from conversations between you and Dean over the past two days and the very loud conversation I had with your brother earlier that you left hunting to go to Stanford. What happened there?”

Sam chuckled, looking down. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that. I crossed a line,” you told him sincerely. You stared at your ketchup. 

“No, no,” he responded. He took in a sharp breath. “My dad and I had a big blowout fight before I left for college. He told me if I left for college to never come back. Haven’t talked to him in two years.” He took a bite of his salad after he finished talking.

“Oh,” you said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

You decided to change the subject. “Alright, we’ve let Dean rot long enough. I’m gonna go call the police.”

Sam laughed, shaking his head. “I’ll get the check.” 

You walked outside of the diner, heading to the payphone you spotted at the entrance of the parking lot. You picked it up and dialed ‘9-1-1.’

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”

You made your voice frantic, forcing tears to well up in your eyes. “My-My husband! He’s been shot!”

“Ma’am, calm down for me, okay? Where are you?”

You screamed. “He- He just shot another guy! Oh, my god!”

“Ma’am, where are you?”

“I’m on Whiteford Road,” you said. “Please, please, please hurry!”

“Okay, okay, um, w-we’re sending a unit out to you now. Can you stay on the line for me?”

“No, no! Please!” you cried. “Plea--” You cut yourself off and hung up the phone. 

You noticed Sam standing next to you using one of his forearms to hold the door open as he leaned on the door frame. 

“What?”

“That was damn good acting,” he noted.

“Thanks,” you chuckled. “I actually wanted to be an actress growing up.”

“Hunting got in the way,” Sam figured.

“Exactly. But, acting is kind of part of the job. Gotta be real good at lying and pretending to be feds,” you shrugged, making light of the situation.

A comfortable silence blanketed you and Sam as you lamented over what life could’ve been for you. You sucked in a breath and said, “We better get going. To Constance!”

***

Sam’s phone ringing pulled the two of you out of a conversation about his girlfriend, Jess, and his life at Stanford. 

Sam looked at the caller ID, shrugging at you when he didn’t recognize it.

“Fake 911 phone call? Sammy, I don't know, that's pretty illegal,” you could hear Dean jest through the phone.

The brunet grinned. “It was (Y/N), actually.”

He paused. “(Y/N)? She’s with you?”

You took Sam’s phone out of his hands and said, “Yup. Hi, Dean,” into the receiver. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

You gave the phone back to Sam. 

The older Winchester changed the topic from you to something else. “Listen, we gotta talk.” 

“Tell me about it,” Sam jumped in. “So the husband was unfaithful. We are dealing with a woman in white. And she's buried behind her old house, so that should have been Dad's next stop--”

His brother tried to cut him off. “Sammy, would you shut up for a second?”

“--I just can't figure out why Dad hasn't destroyed the corpse yet.”

“Well, that's what I'm trying to tell you. He's gone. Dad left Jericho.”

Sam threw a look to you before glancing back to the road. “What? How do you know?”

“I've got his journal,” you heard the dirty blond explain.

“He doesn't go anywhere without that thing.”

“Yeah, well, he did this time.”

“What's it say?”

“Ah, the same old ex-Marine crap, when he wants to let us know where he's going.”

‘Ex-Marine crap?’ you thought to yourself.

Sam noticed your puzzled expression and directed toward you, “Coordinates.” He spoke his following words to Dean. “Where to?”

“I'm not sure yet.”

You propped your head up on your elbow on the passenger’s side door, legs tossed in an ‘L’ shape on the seat beside you. You stared out of the window into the dark night, taking in the gloomy appearance of the dead trees and fallen leaves. 

The younger Winchester shook his head. “I don't understand. I mean, what could be so important that Dad would just skip out in the middle of a job?”

A figure in the road caught your eye, causing you to squint and look out the windshield. 

Sam was still rambling to his brother. “Dean, what the hell is going on?”

You registered that Constance was in the road. “Sam, look out!” you shrieked.

Sam looked up, dropping the phone and slamming the brakes hard. You had to brace yourself on the dashboard in front of you, your body jerking forward and backward in your seat. 

Constance was gone, and you and Sam tried to catch your breaths. 

“Sam? Sam!” Dean’s voice came through the phone.

You picked up the phone from under the glove box. Dean had hung up before you got the chance to tell him Sam was alright.

You turned to the brunet, who swallowed hard and looked into the backseat through the rearview mirror.

You whirled around to look in the backseat, and there Constance was. “Take me home,” she ordered. She looked directly at you. “Take me home!”

“No,” you stated firmly, holding her gaze. 

Constance glared back at you as you heard the doors of the car lock. You wheel around in your seat and try to reopen them. Suddenly, your body was thrust back into the seat as the car began to drive. 

“Sam?” you yelled over the roar of the engine.

“That’s not me!” He tried to grab the steering wheel to drive, but Constance wouldn’t let him. 

You continued to struggle with the doors until the two-- well, three, counting Constance-- of you pulled up to an abandoned house, presumably the Welches’ old house. The windows on both of the two floors had been covered with boards, the paint was peeling off of the wood slats, and the screen door had been ripped. The house looked like it was falling apart more and more with every passing day. It had the stereotypical appearance of a horror movie house.

The engine of the Impala shut off.

“Don't do this,” the younger Winchester pleaded.

Constance flickered in the backseat. “I can never go home,” she moaned, her voice sad.

As if a switch had been flipped in your brain, your face shifted from scared to enlightened. “You're scared to go home.” You turned to look in the back seat, but Constance was gone. As soon as you turned back around, you noticed Constance in between you and Sam on the leather bench seat. 

You jumped, back pressed against the passenger’s side door. Constance climbed on Sam’s lap, shoving him back against the seat hard enough to tilt it backward. 

You tried to lunge for Constance, but she shoved you against the Impala’s door hard enough with a flick of her wrist to send the door flying open and you sailing through the air.

“(Y/N)!” You heard Sam yell.

You skidded to a halt on the rocky gravel surrounding the house, feeling your arms and legs get cut up. The wind was knocked out of you, and your head bounced against the small rocks. 

“Ow,” you groaned, trying to get up. You saw Constance had closed the passenger’s side door once more, and through the window could see her kissing Sam as he reached for the keys.

Another thing you saw was a figure appearing on the other side of the car through the driver’s side window. You hoped to god it was Dean.

You heard whoever it was fire a shot as Sam screamed in what seemed to be pain, so you immediately ducked. A few more shots were fired and you felt safe enough to raise your head.

You scrambled to your feet when you saw the Impala go careening through the porch and into the old Welch house. You ran into the house, being as careful as you could to avoid any of the broken pieces of wood and furniture the car had left in its path.

Dean was quick to follow you, calling out to his younger brother. “You okay?”

Sam groaned. “I think...”

“Can you move?” you asked, leaning through the passenger’s window. You looked him over for serious injury.

“Yeah,” he told you. He reached a hand out to his brother. “Help me?”

You stepped to the side as Dean pulled Sam out through the rolled-down window. 

You noticed Constance picking up a picture frame of her and her children that had fallen to the ground. 

She turned her attention from the picture to you and met your eyes.

She pinned you and the boys against the Impala with a bureau. It hit the boys in their pelvis but nailed you right in the stomach. You groaned in pain, desperately trying to push it off of you. 

You stopped your struggle when a sound caught your ear. It sounded like liquid trickling and watched as a stream of water just thick enough to cover each step cascaded to the ground.  You followed the stream to the top of the stairs to see the dark silhouettes of a little girl and a little boy holding hands.

“You've come home to us, Mommy,” they spoke in chorus.

Constance looked distraught as she got closer to the stairs. They were suddenly gone from the stairs and appeared behind her, hugging her and looking up at her with warm yet slightly disturbing smiles. 

Constance screamed, and she and her children melted to the floor flickering between apparitions of skinless and skeletal forms of humans. They melted into a puddle of an electric purple goo that seeped through the floorboards as the ringing in your ears from Constance’s shrieks subsided. 

You and the Winchesters shoved the bureau over, and you dusted off your hands as Dean spoke.

“So this is where she drowned her kids.”

“That's why she could never go home. She was too scared to face them,” Sam told you and his brother.

“You found her weak spot. Nice work, Sammy.” Dean slapped him on the chest where holes had been burned through his shirt that you were assumed were the products of Constance. Sam groaned out in pain but laughed nonetheless.

“Actually, it was all (Y/N). I’m just the jackass who drove your car through the side of a house,” Sam smiled, jutting his thumb back at you.

Dean hummed as he continued to walk away, clearly disinterested but making an effort to sound impressed. He leaned on the open window of the passenger’s side door, looking over his baby. “Speaking of that, if you screwed up my car--” he paused, looking back at Sam, “--I’ll kill you.”

“Aw, shame,” you cut in, “Sam’s my favorite Winchester.”

Dean glared at you. “Can it, (Y/N).”

***

You lip-synced the words to AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell” which boomed through the speakers of the Impala. You were sat in the backseat, leaning on the front seat between the two Winchesters with your forearms atop their bench seat. You looked over Sam’s shoulder as he opened up a giant map and opened his dad’s journal. He went to tuck a flashlight under his chin so he could actually see what he was doing, but you stopped him.

“I can hold that for you.”

“Thanks,” was his short reply as he handed off the flashlight to you, his eyes never leaving the things on his lap. You clicked the flashlight on and held it over his shoulder as he scanned the map for the coordinates “35-111″ as was written in his dad’s journal.

Sam tapped the spot on the map once he found it. “Okay, here's where Dad went. It's called Blackwater Ridge, Colorado.”

“Charming,” you quipped.

“How far?” came Dean’s question.

“About six hundred miles,” the younger Winchester told his brother.

“Hey, if we shag ass after we drop (Y/N) off in the next town over we could make it by morning,” Dean suggested, looking over at Sam. 

‘This guy is so ready to get rid of me,’ you thought, shaking your head.

Sam cocked his head to the side and looked to his brother. “Dean--”

Dean stared back to the road, his pitch dropping lower and his disappointment apparent. “You're not going.”

“The interview's in like, ten hours. I gotta be there,” Sam reminded him.

“Yeah. Yeah, whatever. I'll take you home.”

You clicked the flashlight off, sinking back into the backseat. 

‘Awkward.’

***

Dean’s face was still set in a frown as the Impala pulled up to Sam’s apartment complex. You jumped out of the car as Sam did, pulling him into a tight hug. 

“I’m gonna miss you,” you told him, squeezing him harder with your eyes shut. You were genuinely disappointed. Sam was so nice and the two of you had become great friends very quickly.

“Hey, you have my number. Call me.”

“Yeah, but it’s not the same.” You pulled away from him. “Say ‘hi’ to Jess for me.”

The brunet chuckled. “I will.” He leaned down into the open window of Dean’s car. “Call me if you find him?”

Dean nodded. 

“And maybe I can meet up with you later, huh?”

“Yeah, all right.”

Sam clearly did not know how to end the conversation from there, so he simply patted the inside of the car door twice and turned away. Dean leaned toward the passenger door, calling out to Sam in one last attempt to get him to come with him. “You know, we made a hell of a team back there.” 

“Yeah,” Sam nodded, which was clearly not the reaction Dean was expecting. He just sighed and waited for you to get back in the car. You had barely shut the door before Dean shoved off. 

You jerked around in your seat. “Easy, tiger. Jesus.” You slumped down in your seat after getting no response from Dean. You crossed your arms and looked out of your window. 

The familiar smells of coconut and tobacco filled your nose, and you immediately straightened up. 

“Turn around,” you told Dean, your eyes wide.

“What? No,” he snorted. “Why?”

“Just do it!”

Your exclamation caught Dean off guard. “Jesus, fine.”

He put the car in reverse and headed back up the street. 

Dean hadn’t even stopped in front of Sam’s apartment complex before you threw the car door open and sprinted toward the apartment as fast as you could.

“Whoa, crazy lady, where are you going?” Dean caught up to you and grabbed your arm, spinning you around. 

“Sam’s apartment. Which one is it?!” You asked in a panic. 

“Uh--” He glanced away from you, still puzzled as to why you were a basketcase at the present moment.

“Dean!”

He looked back at you, shaking his head, but he ran up the stairs and led you to Sam and Jess’s shared apartment. 

He stopped in front of the door, turning back to face you. “Now, why--”

Before he could finish his statement, you used all your might to kick the wooden door in, yelling Sam’s name in concern.

“No!” you heard him yell from another room.

Dean jumped into action, sprinting through the apartment with you hot on his heels. The two of you got to the younger Winchester’s bedroom just in time to see a woman in a white nightgown stained red at her belly from bleeding with blonde hair on the ceiling burst into flames. 

“Jess!” Sam yelled, paralyzed on his bed in shock. He quickly moved one arm to shield his face as the flames got closer to him. “No!”

‘Oh, shit. His girlfriend...’

You shook your thoughts away from you and helped Dean lug a screaming Sam out of the door and out of the apartment complex. You fished through your bag in Dean’s car for your phone and called the fire department as Dean tried to hold Sam back from going back in for his charred girlfriend.

***

Flashes of red and blue broke through the black of night, emanating from police cars and firetrucks all around you. You walked through the chaotic scene of police and firemen holding back onlookers and firemen dousing the remaining embers of the fire in water. Black, charred wood stuck out from the turquoise exterior of the complex, and you could see into the apartment through giant holes that had been burnt out of the wall. 

You walked back over to the boys who stood by the Impala. Sam was fooling with weapons concealed within the hollowed-out bottom of the trunk, and Dean stood next to him, watching his brother’s face. As you got to them, you put a hand on Sam’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. He looked up at you, his normally soft and cheery expression suppressed by a look of both desperation and anger. He shut the trunk with a hard slam.

“We got work to do.”

Tags are open and feedback is always appreciated!

Series Rewrite Tags:

@rach5ive​ @ppeachygemss​

[the-wintershade]

01. these are the days that must happen to you

pairing: loki x reader summary: you knock on his door bloody and nearly unconscious wc: 1.2k+ genre: angst, comfort

a/n: this is the first part in a series of angsty works written about lots of different characters because I needed the emotional breakdown and healing. I’ve also been watching a lot of emotionally moving things.

edit: I deleted my blog! accidentally! so this is the first thing I am going to publish after losing everything, so bear with me. also, if you see this and you used to follow me, please know the blip was accidental. feel free to reblog so that people can know that I didn’t just fall off the face of the earth! this series will still be uploaded and finished, it will just take a minute to reupload things so...i’m working on it though!

swear not by the moon  — a series of angst: 01 | ... |

Loki expected the knock at the door over an hour ago. His blood boiled and his jaw ached from the strain of his teeth nearly shattering each other after waiting patiently for the room service he’d wasted a measly fifty dollars on. 

It wasn’t worth it. He was more than aware that the morsels they offered on earth would never even hold a candle to the exquisite, luxurious food that would’ve been served at the hall of the gods. 

He felt that dull ache again and paused on the way to throwing the door open.

It made him feel weak and useless, like he was nothing more than a spectator in the chaos in asgard; the throne ripped from under him, his brother the shining star of his father’s love, and him banished to the shadows where greed and jealousy festered, always envious of the brilliant, illustrious light.

It ripped him down to the core, stripped him to his weakest parts, and he hated it. Anger always flared to take its place, hot and searing. 

He harnessed it, shaking off something he refused to acknowledge as guilt, and hurled the door open, his knuckle alabaster white and eyebrows arched in vexation...and there you were.

Blood coated your cheeks, vermillion spilling out of the gash on your upper arm, red stained your hands. He watched your chest shutter, your breath coming out in pained hiccups and strained gaps, your eyes were unfocused. “I...I’m sorry. I-I didn’t...know...where-else to go.” His heart squoze hearing the words whispered out loud and the anger he was ready to unleash faded away as your voice fell onto him like flower petals floating through the air.

You were delicate and fragile and innocent. So innocent and beautiful. And to see such a precious thing as defaced as the crimson that stained your clothes and clung to your hair, well...he barely contained a new surge of anger that threatened to take over.

He stepped over to you, about ready to pull you in and when you collapsed, falling right into his dark turtleneck. Gravity would have dragged you to the floor, but Loki was stronger and grasped your arms, supporting your weight and lifting you to his bathroom. 

He tried to be as gentle as possible when cleaning your cuts, but each were so deep, he knew you felt them even when he used a towel and pressed with a precise touch. Just enough to draw out the blood and clean them, but nothing else. 

His fingers gingerly supported your neck, pressing against your skin, drawing you against his chest, your body sprawled between his knees.

Everytime he hit a cut and you moaned in pain, his heart hurt again, just as bad as if he watched his mother frown in disappointment. He hated when he severely upset her, just as he hated what they did to you. 

“Hold on,” the back of his hand brushed against your cheek, caressing your tears and letting them run over his fingers, cleansing you of the wet signs of anguish and letting his fingers become damp with salt and iron. With tears and blood. “Just hold on, dove, it’s almost over.”

….

When you woke up, the remnants of a dream followed you into consciousness. His voice was there, guiding you through a maze you couldn’t find the end to. For some reason you were panicking, scared beyond your wits and barely able to think straight, so unlike you. 

You were always strong. That’s who you were. Tough as steel and unrelenting as stone and rock. You were the one everyone counted on to get what needed to be done, done. 

And now you were lost.

Now you were stripped bare. Down to everything about you that you wanted to eradicate, destroy, banish. And he just watched with nothing but kindness and a cool head, taking your cold hand and enveloping it in his warm one. 

He knew the way. He always knew the way.

You sat up, groaning as your flesh tugged and shifted against the heavy bandages and the healing webs forming around your skin. 

You felt clean. 

The clothes you wore were not your own and gave space around your body insteading of clinging to your cuts and wounds.

And then you heard his voice. 

Raspy and tired, but still carrying that velvety perfectness it always did. “‘Morning.” He rolled over until he faced you. A softness you’ve rarely seen in him clouds his eyes and twists around his words, smoothing them as if he’s afraid you’ll collapse if he speaks normally. “How are you feeling?”

You fiddle with the too big sleeves on your-his shirt and feel even weaker than you did the night before. “I’m fine.” You spit out, frustrated and upset with yourself. You toss the covers off of yourself and try to stand, but your legs wobble and you fall back onto the bed.

Tears threaten to fall and you force a hand to your face to your face to collect them. Your lungs shrivel and shake as pain stops your breathing and makes an unnatural sound seep through your cracked lips and twisted teeth.

And he’s there, holding your hands whispering soothing words in your ear and it’s too much. It’s too much. You want to break away from him and tell him to stop treating you like you’re going to break and shatter. “Stop,” Your voice breaks and shrieks silently. “Just stop.”

He removes his hands but he doesn’t move away. “When will you stop trying to be tough around me all the time?” He mutters. Your tears clear out of surprise and when you look at him there’s no sympathy, no warm gleam in his deep bluish-green orbs. 

All that lies there is longing. An intense longing for the truth.

“We’re both the same. Running from our vulnerabilities and emotional weaknesses because we have no idea how to deal with them. We don’t know how to handle sympathy, we don’t want to look weak, we don’t want to feel as though we’re breaking.” His fingers float on top of your hand, weaving into your nearly closed hand. “But we’re fragile. We act strong but we break sometimes. You’ve seen me sobbing. Crying so damned hard that I nearly choked on my own saliva, but you know what? You were there. You were there to put me back together again and I hated you for it. But you wouldn’t let me push you away.”

He gently opens your hand and puts his in it, pulling your palm up to his lips and planting a whisper of a kiss on it. “So don’t push me away. Let me be here for you.” He gazes up at you, pleading and earnest. “Let me help you.”

And that makes you want to cry again because you’re not used to someone just showing up for you and supporting you. You’re not used to someone supporting you when you’re down and not judging you for what you’re reduced to.

When the tears come again, you're wrapped up in him, in his warmth, his chest, his smell, him. And he doesn’t let you go, just keeps you close and holds you. 

He knows that words aren’t enough to soothe you, they never mattered that much to you anyway, but the silence, the comfort in the quiet as you put yourself back together again, helps.

And he keeps you close and steadies you, even when you feel him shaking in frustration, even when you feel him sink underneath the weight of your pain. Because he’s always there to share the burden, just as you’ve always been there to share his.

[fsketchart]

A Second Chance - Chapter 1

REUPLOAD FROM AO3

As Hawkmoth and Mayura grew stronger, half of Paris would soon become Akumatized, while the other half began to live in fear, and would begin to doubt the heroes. With new villains coming in from Gotham like the Joker and Harley Quinn, the hero team has hit an all time low, constantly battling day and night, with near to no rests in between. Many of the former heroes have become puppets for Hawkmoth, either by Akumatization, or their miraculous be coming corrupted, leaving the hero team left with Ladybug, Ryuko, Viperion, and Queen Bee.

When Master Fu proposes a plan to recruit new heroes from Gotham, it's up to Marinette to find them, and bring them back to Paris, to stop Hawkmoth's reign. But will the Justice League of America come to aid France in their time of need? Will the Justice League be enough to stop Hawkmoth's new army?

Notes :  God I am so sorry for this disaster. This was my first ever attempt at fan fiction and I haven't written in so long. I apologize if this fic seems rushed, I had a huge inspiration to add to the Maribat AU created by Ozmav. 😅

AO3 : SketchArt

Inspired by : @ozmav​

--------------------

"RYUKO!" Ladybug screamed as she watched her friend's body freeze out of shock as she was hoisted into the air by a black leathered villain. A scream tore through the dragon miraculous user's throat, as a leather clawed hand gripped her by the neck, radiating a dark energy. Ryuko's scream rung in the air as her pupils shrunk and stared into the villainous green eyes. Ryuko's eyes darted violently from her spotted friend and her attacker, before her body was dropped onto the ground, leaving her curled up in a ball, grasping her neck where the cataclysm was used.

Queen Bee began viciously attacking the green eyed villain with no hesitation while Ladybug rushed over to Kagami, leaving the Snake miraculous to battle more of Hawkmoth's army.

"RYUKO!" Ladybug screamed. Ryuko began coughing hysterically while she struggled to look at Ladybug properly, her eyes a hazy mess.

"This is a losing battle," Ryuko began, tears beginning to form, and her voice turning hoarse, "Ladybug, we're only a group of 16 year olds, only 4 of us at that. With Mayura and Hawkmoth working alongside eachother to build a massive army, including half of paris, and bringing in more villains all the way from America, we don't stand a chance."

"Ryuko, don't talk like that. We still have the miraculous. We are still fighting. We are still here-" Ladybug started, as she began to pick up Ryuko.

"BUT FOR HOW LONG? Even the Guardian is beginning to lose hope. We can't do this on our own."

"Save your breath. We need to get you to the Guardian. VIPERION, QUEEN BEE, RETREET!" Ladybug barked over the noises of the Akumas. Queen Bee and Viperion looked relieved, their moves beginning to grow tired and slow, their footing becoming sloppy. Quickly, the began making their way to their teammates, and began their journey over to the Guardian's home.

--------°~°--------

"Ladybug, what happened? Have you lead any Akuma's here?" the Guardian asked in a low, rushed voice.

"Ryuko got Cataclysmed, no Akuma's followed us on the way here," Ladybug quickly responded with.

"Inside, all of you, quickly!" Master Fu ordered, shutting the door swiftly behind him. Wayz, who peaked through to see the commotion, immediately began closing windows and shutting the curtains, as Master Fu began to retrieve medicinal herbs. Ladybug layed Ryuko down, wincing upon hearing a small groan of pain. Immediately, Master Fu set to work, grinding herbs and murmuring under his breath. Queen Bee and Viperion exchanged a look, before nodding to one another.

"We will be in the next room over, let us know how Kagami is doing, we're gonna detransform in the other room," Queen Bee murmured softly, with a look of sadness in her eyes.

"We'll leave some food in the other room for you and Tikki," Viperion added, before both of them left the room. Ladybug could only slowly nod and softly murmur, "Tikki, spots off," before they swiftly left the room. Tikki, worn out and exhausted, hugged Marinette's cheek silently before leaving to the next room. Once all the herbs were applied, Master Fu sat down next to the young girl in silence, struggling to find the right words. Eventually, he found the strength to speak.

"You can't win this fight alone. You need more allies," he said softly.

"Who can I trust as a miraculous holder? Lila convinced the class that Ladybug was using all of them as pawns, and then lured them into becoming Hawkmoth's puppets, Chat Noir's miraculous has been corrupted leaving him to be controlled by Hawkmoth, and half of Paris is under Hawkmoth's control! The other half of Paris has lost faith in us and are avoiding us, and refuse to fight back from the villains, choosing to stay silent and try to sneak out of France. But with the Government trying to prevent anyone from entering and leaving, we're just stuck here in this mess! Not to mention, that law is pointless seeing as Hawkmoth has managed to sneak in Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, the Joker, and so many more already! I don't know what to do!" Marinette cried, as the dam broke with tears streaming down her face as her nose began to clog up and her body beginning to shake. Master Fu hugged her tightly as he spoke to her gently.

"None of this is your fault, you have done all you could. Perhaps there is still hope, Marinette. With Hawkmoth bringing in more villains, who is to say we can't bring in more hero's?"

"What are you talking about? There isn't anyone left to play hero for us-"

"In America, they have a system called the Justice League. Inside, there are many heroes sworn to protect America, and if we gain contact with them, we may be able to gain new allies," Master Fu explained.

"That...that could work! How do we call for them?" Marinette asked desperately.

"I have tried to gain contact with them, but with the government not allowing us to leave, and Hawkmoth has turned Alya into his puppet, preventing us from gaining access to the internet while she is still in her Lady Wi-Fi form."

"How are we supposed to gain contact with them? We can't leave Paris unguarded, and we need their help desperately," Marinette rushed out.

"We can use the horse miraculous to open a portal to America, allowing the person to teleport, but we can't send everyone. Paris still needs to be guarded as you said. Whoever goes needs to leave with the miraculous box, to keep it out of Hawkmoth's hands," Master Fu responded.

"Who will be sent? I can't possibly go, my miraculous is the only one who will stand a fighting chance against Chat Noir's!" Marinette asked, fidgeting in her seat.

"You must go. You and I are the only ones who have knowledge of the Guardians, your safety along with the Miraculous box is top priority. I have taught you what I could, and while you are away, I will fight in your place," Master Fu finished, with a tired and worn out look in his eyes.

"No, you can't be serious...you can't! Master Fu, you're getting older. You can't fight in your condition-"

"I have lived my life and my purpose. Now quickly, we can't waste time," he said, before abruptly getting up and making his way to the door. When opening the door, Luka and Chloe fell though and hit the ground, with sheepish and embarrassed expressions on their faces. Marinette looked shocked, realizing that they had heard everything, while Master Fu shook his head as he made his way over to the Miracle Box. Opening it, he quickly pulled out the horse miraculous and placed it in Marinette's hands. Suddenly, a figure began to form. The Kwami introduced themself as Kaalki, and was about to continue before Master Fu cut them off. Master Fu gripped the miraculous and muttered the trigger word to activate the horse's ability. Marinette looked worriedly at Luka and Chloe, and received forced smiles in return.

"Don't worry Dupain-Cheng, have some more faith in us, particularly me. After all, I can more than manage to take down Hawkmoth's army long before you get back!" Chloe rushed out, with a faked confidence as forced chuckles left the other's mouthes. "Just don't get yourself injured in America. I promise you, I won't be coming to save your utterly ridiculous butt when you trip all over yourself there!" They all knew that was a lie.

Kaalki, quickly grasping how serious the situation was, asked where their destination was. Master Fu paused, before saying in a firm voice...

"Gotham, America."

[berri-hopefulspouse]

-- A Look Into The Past --

[ Reuploaded for your convenience~ Because tumblr is an ass~ ]

Fandom & Characters: Danganronpa, Ren (DR s/i, Ultimate Empath), [Mentioned/Minor roles] Celestia Ludenberg, Chihiro Fujisaki, Junko Enoshima, Sayaka Maizono, Makoto Naegi, Aoi Asahina, Kiyotaka Ishimaru, Yasuhiro Hagakure, various Future Foundation technicians and scientists

TW: Self-Harm & Suicide Mentions/Implications, violence/gore warning, emetophobia, Laboratory/Science stuff, Panic attacks, Runaway, Dissociation, Dysphoria implication, Neglect, Bullying mention, General assholery, Hella angst, Mention of bondage & restraints (mostly as jokes), Deadname drop, general PTSD stuff, Hallucinations, Alcohol mention, Homo & transphobia, NB-Phobia, Manipulation, Gaslighting

AN: Another reuploaded story from my previous account! This one was definitely the most uh. Chaotic in terms of trigger warnings, as you can see. All of these are events following THH, and not long before the events that predate DR2 occur. So keep that in mind. ALSO! At the time this is posted (10/3/2020) - this is the story that precedes the current F/O event going on, hinted at here. 

Summary: After the events at Hopes Peak High, each member of the class- over time- are put into a procedure to regain the memories lost over the 2 years. It’s Ren’s turn, and being the last one for various personal reasons- they are nervous. Is it worth it to retrieve memories of the past? Or would they have been better off not knowing at all?…

Fidget. Fidget and broil in thought. Fidget and listen. Listen. 

“You understand the conditions in which you'll go under, Mx?” An older man asked them, “The process will take but a few hours, with one of the devices we have on hand.” They didn't know much of this man- save for one thing. He was one of the technical scientists who worked for Future Foundation- something somewhat new to the brunette.

The weeks following their escape from Hopes Peak...from Junko...it was a bit messy. Scooped up by this organization that apparently was the revolution for hope and trying to contain the disease that was despair. Taking days to breathe and recover from the events, only to have to explain themselves alongside their classmates. So, here they were now. One by one, they were all being asked the same thing; Do they want their memories recovered? Do they want to recall the two years lost to them due to Junko’s meddling?...

“Yes, I understand.” Soren mumbles, shyly, wringing their hands into their shirt, “I am ready to proceed.” 

Whether they were ready for it or not, they knew they had to know. They had to know what they missed, how they were connected to everyone...what their past was like…

Believe it or not, even their childhood felt fuzzy to them. In a way, them and Kirigiri were connected in that sense. Theirs however was...different. 

‘I’m the last one who’s going through this procedure…’ They recalled to themselves as they got up, following the scientist into the laboratory...they felt nervous- and part of them wished Makoto was with them to offer some reassurance.

‘He’s been running himself ragged lately with tasks and plans though, we’ve all been working hard...I let him rest when I got called up.’ 

They thought back to exactly why they were one of the last people to be brought to this laboratory. Intensive therapy, trying to recover from the events of the Killing School life...sure, it affected everyone quite differently, but for them it almost seemed to bring out the worst in them. Persistent nightmares, paranoia, fainting spells… It didn’t take long for them to be brought to counselling once the others found out- although it was mostly due to Makoto outting his concern for them.

‘They figured it was PTSD, naturally. I knew that, it’s basic psychology... But still…’ From what they explained… ‘It seems like it goes far beyond just Hopes Peak. It just seemed like that whole shitshow might’ve just been a breaking point.’ 

Sitting down in one of the chairs in the laboratory, they looked to the various technicians who were around. All typing away at computers, ready to begin the process.

“Like I said, this will take a few hours...and given your special circumstance, definitely a bit longer than most to recover. However, we’re also not certain if all your memories will be recovered.” He explained, securing both their legs and arms to the chair with small clasps. Easy enough to break out of given an emergency were to occur, but enough to restrain any potential flailing. They lightly tugged on the restraints, feeling very little give.

“You going to explain the bondage, or am I just gonna have to deduce that on my own accord?” They joked lightly, giving a shaky smile to the older man who shook his head with a sigh, ignoring the younger adult’s antics.

“They’re just in case. We don’t know what memories might surface, and given your previous history...we just want to make sure you don’t injure yourself in any way.” 

Looking away, they felt the slight phantom burns along their wrist as they recalled exactly what they all meant. Sure, the scars on their wrist were...older than they recalled...Most of which were faded deep into their skin. All except one, from a more recent relapse episode.

‘Hence the need to keep me safe, I guess,’ They thought to themselves, ‘No one at Future Foundation really treats me like the rest of the class…’

And why would they? Ren was a special case, after all, being hung with a slew of various mental disorders… As the psychologist in charge of them put it; “They walk the line of both hope and despair. They try so desperately to cling to hope, but given their potential history, succumbing to despair might simply be an inevitability.”

That anxious thought caused them to shudder, not quite listening to the scientific rambling of the technician as they secured a device to their head. Deep breaths...one after another. The static in their ears receded, until they heard the technician speak again.

“Did you hear what I said, Soren?”

“Huh? Oh. Oh yeah!” They lied through their teeth, “Let’s just get this over with, yeah…”

The technician headed out of the room, reappearing behind the glass wall that was before them. Taking one last glance around the room, it was circular. It reminded them almost of the trial grounds- but more...high-tech. It was an observation room of sorts, however, shown by the glass and the scientists working away behind it. 

‘This is either going to go well…...or really, really poorly.’ They thought to themselves as they took a slow breath. 

There was a slight crackle, an intercom. Their heartbeat skipped for a second but they quickly regathered themselves. 

‘It’s not him. You’re not there anymore.’ They reminded themselves as a voice came on.

“Okay, we’re going to begin the procedure. Are you ready?”

They tried giving a stiff nod, but finding their head was basically fixed in place, simply hummed.

“Ready.”

“Proceeding then, in Five...Four...Three…”

‘Deep breaths, in and out.’

“Two…”

‘Everythings going to be just fine.’

“One.” 

A weird sensation started, right at their temples, only mere moments after the word left the technician’s mouth. Then, a low hum, that made Ren sit a bit straighter with a nervous anxiety and itch at their mind. The hum got louder, louder, louder still…

Until they completely blacked out, altogether.

–☆–

“Ḷ̵̨̜̹̣̖̮̮́ȁ̶̧̼͖̥̰̱̆̈́͂i̴̦̗̪̯̲̻͇̫͑̾̄̆l̸̘̗͕͎̩̈́̄̃͆a̷̡̯͑̑̃̔̈̂̓.̸͓̮̓͂͛̆̏͗̈.̷̗̲̞͙̼̗̈́͗͌̈́͜͠͝.̸̡̛̺̰͓̟̼̙̙̯̀̂̌̓̅͑͜͜?̶͔͍͛̾̊̑̓̇̌̈̅̈́̚͝͝”

A voice. Disconnected. Everything felt heavy, almost familiarly so. The name- it didn’t feel like their own, and it rang with such a chord of familiarity that it felt like a dagger straight through their throat. They suddenly felt so...so sick, but they couldn’t place why... 

“Laila?” A bit louder this time, taking a slow breath in and out, they- no, she- looked up.

“Huh?”

She was seated at a desk- one that...she(-they, no wait uh)...she believed was their own. However, the face that greeted her...she couldn’t even figure out who it was.

“Jeez, I can’t believe you fell asleep in class again.” The person said, a cheeky grin on his features. Jet black hair and light brown eyes greeted (him...them, fuck-) her, and she tried putting a name to a face but...she can’t seem to quite remember, “C’mon, slowass, we’ve got practice.”

“Pra...practice?” 

Drama practice.

The word clicked into her mind, and almost instantly she sat up further.

“Oh shit- That’s today?!”

“No duh, it’s Tuesday, remember?! Sheesh, you’re so forgetful. Cmon-!” 

Before the person- Viktor, the name clicked in her brain almost like it was always there- could finish what she was saying, the brunette had gotten up and run out of the room, into a hallway. 

‘Hercules Middle School…’ She thought to herself (Himself? Why was it so difficult?), as she ran down the hallway, ‘I always grew up here...jeez, I just wanna leave from this nightmare of a school already.’ 

She skidded a bit as they turned, running straight into a wall with a slight thud and a yelp of pain.

“Okay, ow.” She groaned a bit, blinking. He- She had ended up on the floor, head fuzzy slightly as she pulled themselves to their feet.

“Sheesh, dude, you’re so clumsy.” Viktor talked to her, chuckling as she pulled herself to her feet, only to get smacked upside the head, “Watch where you’re walking next time!”

“Eheh...s-sorry.” She stuttered a bit, almost shy. 

“Don’t apologize for everything, man, it’s gonna look pathetic on ya,” Viktor assured, causing her to blush a bit and look away.

“R-right.”

She chuckled nervously, not meeting his expression- afraid to express his- her (their?) mild hurt at what he said.

“Lets get going, we’re running late.”

“Okay…”

With that said, Viktor quickly took a hold of her hand, and the two quickly raced off through the winding corridors of the school.

Even so, as they started to step into the gym, he felt a slight buzz in her pocket. Taking out her phone- dated as it was- they checked the message she received from their- His- her childhood best friend...Kayla.

[ (Kay) 2:43 PM: Hey...dude, U should see this shit. Are you with Vik rn? ]

[ (Lai) 2:44 PM: Yea, y? ]

[ (Kay) 2:44 PM: U need to see this. ]

[ [Kayla sent IMG32452 ] ]

Looking at the image, her heart froze. It was a series of texts between her and Viktor, with the former talking about how childish she was. How much of a crybaby she was over the littlest things, sensitive to every little poke at her. How much of a copycat she was. How it was just so easy to be friends with her, to use her...And her eyes teared up. Kayla looked to be at least trying to defend her...these weren’t even from 20 minutes ago… 

“Laila? You coming, dude?” His-Her thoughts were interrupted by Viktor, as their head jerked up to look at him. He-- She didn’t know what she felt. Part of her wanted to hit him, part of him wanted to scream at him, part of them wanted to ask if they did something wrong...but...

“I...Uh...I don- I don’t feel good suddenly. T-Tell t-them I’ll be in...in a minute…” She mumbled out, feet slowly staggering back as an arm laced around their stomach. That wasn’t entirely a lie, either, they felt faint…they felt sick...she felt...hurt.

Before Viktor could see them cry...she turned and ran off, tears blurring his-(her-their--) her vision as the squeak of sneakers filling the hallways and their crowded mind. 

The colors around them blurred, holding their head in their hands as they trembled in place. Suddenly, they were in the bathroom- though they sensed the day was different than it was mere moments ago. But that wasn’t what was taking up their thoughts. It was staring into the mirror- at the square glasses and overly pudgy baby-face they have. Staring at someone that wasn't her- that isn’t who they are! 

‘Fuck, fuck, why do I hate myself so much?!’ (They- She- he-) She asked herself, struggling to breathe. Even being in the girls’ bathroom felt suffocating, but it was all she knew. Sure, she didn’t feel “dysphoria” like Viktor did...but she felt wrong. She felt WRONG. Her arms shook, nails digging into her skin as she hugged herself tightly. She wanted to shave all her hair off- she wanted to rip off her chest- she wanted- she wanted--

‘Agh! I can’t...I can’t breathe-!’ She forced herself to look away from the mirror, thinking about all the times she was addressed as a girl...all the times she felt wrong in an environment where she should feel comfortable. She always considered herself a tomboy- someone who definitely wasn’t on the feminine side of things...but it felt deeper. Her name made her want to puke- this long hair made her want to scream. The floofy, glittery, feminine clothing made her want to cry, scream, do anything. Something. But all she could do was struggle to breathe, struggle to consider what was happening to her.

That wasn’t even going into all the bullying. How she didn’t fit in with anyone in her class- even amongst her friends. She didn’t THINK she was transgender like Viktor was, but she knew something was...wrong with her. Something different. She couldn’t be a girl, either, she couldn’t be. All the torture she went through day to day- with her family, with her friends, with her classmates, with her-fucking-self. She was in a war she felt like she was losing.

‘...Wouldn’t it be great, if I died right here?’ A voice whispered in the back of their head, causing them to freeze up, ‘Taking the razors and digging them deep into your neck-’

“Laila?”

A voice from outside the bathroom quickly shut them out of their intrusive, suicidal thoughts. She recognized that voice- it was the school nurse. She took a deep breath, in and out- but words struggled to escape their throat, save for a soft squeak of a sob. 

“Is everything okay?...”

‘...I can’t keep doing this to myself...I-I need to tell her...what’s going on…’ She at least was self-aware enough to know that much. She couldn’t put herself through her own hell anymore...So whether she was ready for whatever would come or not...she rubbed her eyes a bit, slowly stepping back out into the hallway to try and finally reach out- after years of remaining silent. 

...Darkness...it kept swallowing them up, almost like a tidal wave. It took a second to recall what was going on. Right. The procedure. Future Foundation. Was...was that a memory then? Were these dreams of memories of their past? How long did they feel like this?!

‘Viktor…’ The name felt bitter on their tongue, and with it a small swell of various emotions came to head. Depression, anguish, betrayal…

‘He talked shit behind my back… we went all the way back to middle school. I trusted him with everything but…’

A voice, Viktor’s, cut through the noise of their head.

“C’mon man, you know I never mean it. Besides, if you weren’t such a damn prick, I wouldn’t need to call you out on your shit all the time.”

“Jeez, you never had gender issues before until I started bringing up that I was trans. What are ya, a copycat?”

“What are you gonna say next, that you’re trans too? Haha! Dude, Nonbinary folk can’t be trans. Besides, you don’t have any physical dysphoria, yeah?”

For years, he manipulated them. Teased them. Backstabbed them.

‘How could I forget about him?...How could I forget about how I was treated growing up by everyone?! Well, I guess I chose to after I came to Japan…’ 

The sadistic smile came into their mind’s eyes. Those dark brown eyes they admired for so long...it was because of him they became an artist. That they were exposed to who they were, and yet-

A sharp pain echoed through the back of their head, causing them to physically flinch- though it was restricted.

‘That’s right, I was bound to that chair in case something unforeseen happened…’ They reminded themselves, despite still trying to thrash. If their voice would work, they’d likely be crying out in pain. 

Still, after another moment, the pain ebbed a bit. They recalled something else. Why that betrayal, that anger...it was so strong…

The blog. The hate. The messages telling them to do something drastic- to kill themselves. The pressure that nearly did cost them their life, had it not been for their escape…

‘...Yet it took me until...some point later...because I know he’s definitely not in my life anymore.’ They told themselves, taking a few breaths to try and ease the picture of the blog from their mind- to stop themselves from seeing red.

They didn’t notice the shuddering they were feeling until a few moments later, but that soon calmed back down.

‘...I do wonder how Kayla is...I didn’t even remember her until now. Did she hurt me too? Did she forget about me when I ran away to Japan…? I don’t know..’ Still, they sighed as Viktor’s laugh cut through their thoughts. Despite themselves, they felt a sense of nostalgia at the sound. 

‘Even if he’s a bastard...even though he hurt me in ways that could potentially never heal...I hope he’s doing okay in all of this.’ That little part of them whispered in the space of their subconscious, as memories of their friendship swirled in their mind, ‘I wouldn’t wish despair like this on anyone else…’

It was vague images, ones that felt distant enough that they couldn’t recall in full detail, but they were still there...his house- all the sleepovers. He helped them get their hair cut. He helped them with art. He introduced them to all sorts of new media that, looking back then, they realized was what made them who they were now… A small smile drew out of them. He took them in when they almost couldn’t take their home life anymore, for a short time. Laughing together with Kayla...it felt so distant, but the happiness they felt then...it was still real. It was still real to them, throughout all of that.

Still, that hum, that distinct hum from before that they realized had fallen into the background noise was suddenly at the forefront of their attention once more- growing louder and changing frequency, in a way that made it feel like they were burning. Not with any emotion, but just...burning. 

Soon, their thoughts slipped away once more, and with it- the hum died back down once more. 

“All readings are going according to plan.” One scientist said to another, “Though we’re picking up distress and hints of pain after turning up the frequency... Is the machine correctly calibrated?”

“It should be as such, unless…” The technician that talked to the brunette earlier pursed his lips in though, before hissing lightly in annoyance through his teeth, “...Unless the subject has an auditory processing issue. Shit- Turn the frequency down a few notches.”

“But sir, if we do so, the memories will most definitely be unable to resurface. Remember, this science isn’t quite perfect yet- we can’t make expenses for the issue.” One female technician spoke up, adjusting her glasses.

“...” The man bit his nail nervously, before sighing and nodding, “Of course. Continue the procedure.” 

–☆–

“Where is that piece of shit kid?!” It was dark. There was lightning going on outside. Their heart was racing, “I’m going to rip her to shreds!”

‘It’s just a hallucination, god please just let it be a hallucination,’ They thought to themselves, closing their eyes- trying to shut out the feeling of fear- even if their head was pounding. 

“I can’t believe she got another F on a math test- can you believe this?! I work with her constantly on it, and yet it's like she doesn’t even hear me!” The gruff man grumbled, the voice a distinct echo, as the brunette hid their face into their knees. The sounds of screaming, the sounds of banging… the sounds of things being thrown- it made their heart race. But they knew better. These were just their mind playing games on them from the past. Focus. They had to ground themselves, but…

‘I’m so scared, god I’m so damn scared…’ They took a few deep breaths, putting their hands to their ears. Focus. 

‘I’m in my room. It’s summer. There’s rain outside and the...smell of... alcohol... is very strong in the air… M-maybe I should open the window.’ Reaching up, they fiddle with the locks in their window for a few moments before flinging it open, letting the smell of nighttime air and rain pattering to the ground slowly drown out the scent of booze that lingered. In moments, the noise in their ears ebbed, and they were able to breathe again. Thankfully. With a bit more focus, the numbness seeped in, and they felt themselves slowly relax. Numbness...it was the only reprieve from the living nightmare of their heart. Controlling it took practice, and being able to shut everything out...it was their only escape. Even if…

‘...Even if it cost someone their life before because of my neglect…’ They thought to themselves, feeling their focus wane and the anxiety starting to ebb back into their vision.

“It’s okay...it’s okay…” They whispered to themselves as they got up, “It’s...It’s not like that anymore. It’s..It’s okay.” They forced themselves to breathe again, focusing again on keeping that numbness deep in- if only to protect themselves from their own pain. They had to get up. They had things to do. They had to keep going. 

Their feet felt heavy, slowly gliding across their small room and peering out into the hallway. Silence. Somber, peaceful silence- save for the sounds of the television faintly heard from downstairs. Slowly slipping downstairs, a voice greeted them.

“La- I-I mean, Soren?” 

“Y-yeah?” They stuttered out, feigning a smile as they poked their head over to where their father sat on the couch- watching the television screen. He at least tried with them, but still…

“Did you take your medication?”

“I-I’m gonna…” They mumbled sheepishly, their smile flickering a bit.

“Are you okay?”

“.....Y-yeah.” They lied through their teeth- in a manner that was not at all subtle. Part of them wondered if he’d ask, or if he’d just happen to not notice again.

“...Okay.” He smiled, “Don’t forget you start class next week. Hercules High needs you!” 

“R-right…”

“And don’t forget you perform for the next few weeks!”

“I-I do? B-but I thought that wasn’t until next week!” Their shock was portrayed in their tone, feeling their heart race. Summer felt like the only time they got to rest, and even then it didn’t feel like it was long enough to deal with the stress they went under.

“They’re starting volleyball season early, and you know the boss needs you.” He shrugged it off, ignoring the clear concern on their features, which fell to simple stress. A few moments of silence drawled on- to which they felt their phone go off in their pocket. They didn’t look at it for a little while, trying to not start crying at even the slightest thought of performing, before finally speaking up once more in a defeated tone.

“...O-Okay. I’ll g-go take my medication, night dad…” “Night sweetie!”

As they tiptoed away though, walking only on the balls of their feet, one thought only crossed their mind.

‘I need to get out of here. I can’t wait to escape any longer. I can’t wait. I can’t deal with the bullying anymore...I can’t take the manipulation anymore...’ A slow inhale, a slow exhale. They had been preparing it for months. Getting a passport, slowly packing things they would need- including funds to transfer from euros into yen…

‘I have to buy that ticket tonight. The last plane out for the next week.’

Their phone buzzed again, which brought them from their thoughts. Slowly, they sighed, taking out their phone.

‘If anyone can calm me down after this nightmare, it’d be my friends-’ They thought to themselves, until seeing the ID.

[ (Stepmom) 11:34 PM: Have you helped your dad out with his account yet? You have to take care of him you know, he can’t take care of himself. ]

Their blood boiled a bit, and despite themselves they quickly texted back.

[ (Ren) 11:35 PM: ...I’m 16, I shouldn’t have to take care of my own parents. Also, it depends- do you still have my binder hidden away somewhere? ]

[ (Stepmom) 11:37 PM: Your what? ]

[ (Ren) 11:37 PM: You know what it is, because I haven’t seen it since I put it in the wash a month ago. ]

For several minutes, as Ren went about the kitchen preparing their medication, they watched her type, the ‘(...)’ making them nervous as they tapped their fingers along their side. But, eventually…

[ (Stepmom) 11:41 PM: Oh, that. It’s going to hurt you if you wear it, it’s too tight. Honestly, I don’t know why you wear something that physically hurts you, so I threw it out. ]

[ (Ren) 11:41 PM: . . . You what. ]

It took everything in them to not throw their phone at the wall in anger. They saved up for months for that! They just wanted to present as themselves! It wasn’t even that tight compared to other, less safer binders! It fit fine!

[ (Stepmom) 11:43 PM: This is for your own good, darling. After all, you wouldn’t want your chest to start sagging, would you? ]

[ (Ren) 11:44 PM: I told you it fit fine. I told you not to mess with it, and how to properly wash it, and you decide to throw it out? The thing I bought with my own money? ]

[ (Stepmom) 11:45 PM: I told you, it’s for your own good. Besides, this phase of yours with being ‘transgender’ will pass in time. ]

Slow breath, in and out. Their grip on their phone tightened before turning it off altogether, taking very intentional slow breaths so they didn’t outright explode into a fit of anger in the middle of the kitchen.

‘She never fucking understands! I explained it to her so many times, I’ve told her this wasn’t just a phase, I begged her to use my name and let me just exist- but she just...can’t! And my dad never does anything! They’ll never do anything!! I just...I wanna be myself. I can’t take it anymore!’ 

As they gathered their medication, which rested in the kitchen, along with a bottle of water, they looked to their father’s wallet- which rested on the counter. They just needed to pay for the plane ticket... Slowly, they crept over, thinking to themselves, ‘...Am I doing this?’ 

Their grip shakes for a moment, trembling with anxiety- anger, sadness...every emotion at once swirling inside like a broiling soup, ready to boil over...They took a photo of the credit card- front to back, and slipped it back into his wallet.

‘...I have no choice.’

In one blink, they were upstairs. The next, purchasing the next plane ticket out of there. The next, slipping out of their room and onto the lower roof of their 2 floored house. The next, running down the street and down to the bus stop. The next, in an airport. And the next...they were gone. Over the course of the next...several hours...All of this occurred within the next day or so, even if everything felt like a blur. There was anxiety flooding through their veins, slowly breathing in and out.  Looking down while seated in the plane, they noted the transfer papers in their lap. A normal, public high school. They did it. They got out. They were free of everything. Of a shitty, unsupportive home life… of friends who only used them for the money they had, and talked shit behind their back...of the work that dragged them rugged...they were free. 

They were finally, finally....free.

....And slowly, just like that, the awareness came back. The feeling of their hands, their legs, and the emotions that came from those memories.

‘That’s right...I ran away from home to transfer to a normal life...I got a part time job, cut off everyone I knew in the past...and left. It wasn’t even just that my family was...abusive… Or at least at that point, But they were…. Neglectful. Emotionally and mentally neglectful... My father...he didn’t acknowledge how poorly he raised me, forced me to work on my singing abilities even when sick or mentally unwell… put so much pressure on my schoolwork that chores and life-skills took a back seat. My stepmother was transphobic, homophobic...and my mother…’

Their thoughts trailed off for a short moment...before the realization cut their heart in two.

‘I haven’t heard from her since I was 7.’

A crippling feeling of loneliness flooded their thoughts, and they swore they felt warmth trailing down their cheek. They swore they felt this before...they knew this feeling of loneliness, and it felt suffocating. It felt like only until recently...they had never known what it felt like to truly belong somewhere… Shit- they were definitely crying, they felt tears falling off their cheek with what awareness they had of their surroundings, despite their eyes being closed. They tried to reach up, to wipe it off, but they once again felt the tight leather restraints keeping them still. 

“Hey, Deep breaths.” A voice cut through the pain. The technician, “How are you feeling right now?”

Their eyes fluttered a bit, and eventually...opened. Their body felt heavy. It took a moment or two to piece together how their tongue worked again, but then they eventually mumbled between nervous clicks of their tongue. 

“Shitty, thanks,” They sarcastically muttered, “I’m doing as well as I can be. How long has it been?”

“4 hours.” The technician spoke up, “Do you recollect anything from Hopes Peak yet, Ren?”

“...No.” They took a second to gather their thoughts, slowly shaking their head as slightly as they could to try and clear the feeling of static and prickles that surrounded their headspace, “Just...my childhood.” 

“Right. Well, we’re about halfway done. If we tried going past 8 hours...well, we don’t know what sort’ve effect it might have on you.” 

The intercom spoke, as they nodded, taking another breath. They had stopped crying by now.

“How does this equipment work again?” They were a bit curious now, and it's not like they were really paying attention earlier when he probably was explaining it to them. The sigh he gave confirmed this suspicion, and while quietly smothering the instant guilt in their stomach that came with feeling like a burden for making him repeat himself, he spoke.

“It basically delivers electromagnetic waves through your ears and to your brain, and depending on the frequency we put through these waves, it will help drudge up any forgotten memories...That is to say, it is impossible to ‘steal’ memories persay- but with the right technology, repressing them very deeply into your mind is very possible. It takes very miniscule, very specific triggers to drudge them back to the surface. That’s what the humming is- the electromagnetic waves,” He explained, “However, we cannot select what you do and don’t remember...and given you have ADHD, what you do recall can vary greatly. You still might not remember as much as most of your classmates, hence why yours is taking that much longer compared to your peers.”

“ADHD...of course this is the first I’m hearing of it,” They noted, spite in their tone, “Gotta have a word with that shrink later.” Even if, thinking of it then, ADHD clicked perfectly with how they acted and their personality. 

“Soren, please do not nearly break the arm of another psychologist.” 

The technician’s exasperation was heard in his tone, watching the brunette’s dark eyes blink up towards where he was sitting in the window. He was holding what, they could only imagine, was yet another coffee. A small stack sat on the desk next to him.

“Nah, I won’t…” They responded, hiding a hint of a chuckle at his tone...They were about to ask another question before quickly giving the slightest shake of their head to brush it off, “Anyway, let’s keep going, yeah?”

“Right. Ready to go back under? Now, I won’t be able to speak to you again until after the procedure ends. While you’re under, you’re technically unconscious, but after each memory ends- you’re briefly brought back to a slight sense of consciousness to give your head a break. Understand?”

“Gotcha, doc.” Their tone was thick with drowsiness, the slight irish drawl slipping between pursed lips. They were sleepy already… What time was it?

“Right...Good luck, Mx.” 

The hum started back up as he spoke, growing louder until his voice was drowned out altogether. One breath in...One breath out...And their head went slack once more as they fell unconscious. 

–☆–

How is it someone like them got accepted here again?

They honestly had no clue. Extensive testing, sure, they were a decent learner...but their emotional capabilities were apparently one to behold. Sure, they knew they helped a student down and away from suicide, but honestly? Anyone could really do that. Either way, after further examination, they were the designated ‘Ultimate Empath’...Jeez, what the HELL were they doing here?

‘But I mean...if those rumors I heard are true, I’ll be set for life,’ They thought to themselves, shyly posted up in the main hall- watching slowly students trickle in of all ages, ‘And I don’t want to work a part-time job for the rest of my life.’ 

Some were talking amongst themselves, others kept to themselves but...they were amongst the latter, arms nervously crossed over their torso. Amongst orientation, they would be introduced to the classes specifically picked for each individual student, and fitted into proper ‘Hopes Peak’ uniforms….you know, the same ones no one seemed to really wear- if the appearance of some upperclassmen were any indication. 

But they, personally? They didn’t want to make themselves too known within the class. After all, they knew there were missing posters for their deadname so if they weren’t careful…

‘I can’t go back home. I can’t. But also...do I really belong here?’

Looking around, the energy of everyone seemed so...so different...compared to them. So much stronger, mentally and physically. Confident. Cheerful. Perfect.

‘...Maybe I shouldn't be here.’ Their thoughts started walking away with them as they slowly started backing over towards the door…

Only to run into someone- causing both of them to start to stumble. 

“Eep-!” 

          “Whoa!”

They felt the person behind them, though, trip, and suddenly, they were on the floor, on top of this poor unfortunate soul. A few moments of silence pass, a few classmates piping in, asking if they were both okay, before Ren slowly sat up, rubbing their head… only to realize they probably nearly crushed the person below them, and jumping up to their feet. 

“Oh my gods, I'm so sorry!” Their voice came out as a shrill squeak, slightly muffled as their hands clasped over their mouth in anxious surprise.

“Ah, jeez-” The boy in question they watched as he rubbed the back of his head, “I-it’s alright, really… Should’ve watched what was in front of me.” He laughed softly, and they looked away.

They wouldn’t lie...he was pretty cute.

“D-did you just walk in? I-I mean, it’s normal not to notice me...I’m pretty short.” They asked and explained themselves, fiddling with their fingers.

“Yeah, I did...and believe me-” He got up himself, standing not much taller than the brunette in question, probably around 5’2”-5’3” or so compared to their 4’10”, “I’m...Not much better in terms of height.”

There was a bewildered silence for a few moments, before the two in question bursted into a small fit of laughter, doubled over in their fit of snickers. As a result, they relaxed a bit, calming down around this boy. 

“I’m guessing you’re also in my class then?” They asked, wiping away a small tear from their eye.

“Yeah, actually. What’s your name?” Olive eyes met their own, and they tried everything in their being to keep from squeaking shyly at the eye contact.

“N-Name’s Soren. U-Ultimate Empath. And you?” They offered a hand to him, despite themselves. The boy in question chuckled, taking their hand in his own and giving a soft squeeze as he shook their hand.

“Makoto Naegi...I-I’m the Ultimate Lucky Student, apparently.” He spoke, awkwardly scratching at the back of his neck. Ren tilted their head, curious.

“Luck student? How the hell do you measure luck…?” They asked, obliviously. Makoto sighed, looking a bit downcast, and they could practically see the insecurity written in his body language and face.

“It’s a long story...But honestly, it’s...kinda ridiculous.” He mumbled, “Not sure if someone like you would wanna hear about it.”

“No, no.” They quickly shook their head, not retracting their hand and instead putting their other hand on his, leaning a bit closer with intrigue written on their features, “I wanna know… If you’re comfortable talking about it, of course. I mean…” They tilted their head, “It’s weird feeling different from the other Ultimates, huh?”

His eyes widened, caught off guard, “How did you…” They grinned a bit, a soft smile, “Empath, remember? I can sense your distress about being here...I can sense your nerves. You don’t...feel like you belong, do you?” They asked.

Makoto blinked for a few moments, eyes searching theirs for any sign of joking, before sighing and relaxing a bit. Right.

“Spot on, I guess. Alright, alright, I’ll spill. But you best not tell anyone else, okay?” Makoto put a finger to his lips, a curl of a joking smirk on their face. At that moment, they noticed the faint sprinkling of freckles across his face, the slight dimples in his features when he grinned...Their heart jumped a bit, and they laughed.

“I won’t tell a soul.”

In one blink, there they were talking to Makoto, and in the next…

“Ren?” Looking over, they found themselves in a different environment. They were seated outside, underneath a tree, with a few other girls around them. If memory serves right… 

‘This is Chihiro, Celestia, and Asahina.’ Their memory clicked perfectly back together.

“Hey!” It was Hina talking, “Dude, are you okay? You were spacing out pretty hard there.”

Ren blinked a bit, before shyly chuckling and looking away, “Ah, yeah, I’m okay. That just...tends to happen.” 

Hina blinks a bit before shaking her head, “Well, yeah, clearly. You should really get that checked out you know! If you can’t even focus on food, how will you be able to focus in class?! I mean, midterm exams are coming up soon you know.”

“...A Lot of studying.” They chuckled nervously, biting their nails, “Still, I just have a lot on my mind lately, I guess.”

“A- A-lot on your mind?” Chihiro spoke up, blinking and leaning a bit closer towards Ren, “D-does it have to do w-with studying?” “...No, I wouldn’t say that…” They mumbled, shyly, looking down at their food and taking a shy bite.

‘How can I tell them everything that goes on in my head? How can I tell them that it's a fight everyday to survive? How can I explain...that something’s wrong with me?’

Simply put, they couldn’t. They managed a small smile and chuckled.

“Just thinking of boys, I guess.” They quickly averted the actual subject- unknowing of them setting themselves up for disaster.

“Oooh?” Asahina got a mischievous grin on her face, “Any particular boys?”

Their face flushed...it was no secret to any of them that they, simply put, were a bit smitten.

“Noooooo….?” They lied through their teeth, even if their goofy grin gave them away.

“Not even a particular luckster?” Celeste leaned in a bit, joining in on the teasing with her own little devilish grin, giggling quietly as the brunette interrogated squeaked shyly and hid their face in their hands, the image of the Ultimate in question immediately flooding their thoughts.

“Nooo!!!” They tried to protest, shaking their head rapidly. The group of girls giggled, Chihiro wrapping an arm around the brunette’s neck in an attempt to reassure them.

“You’re going to have to ask him out eventually, you know, before Sayaka beats you to it.” Asahina said with a cheeky grin. Their smile faltered slightly. 

“No, no. I shouldn’t meddle...I’d feel bad.”

“Even if he clearly has no romantic interest in her?” Celeste spoke up, red eyes widening a bit, “That is to say, I’ve only seen him so starstruck around you particularly, my dear.”

Ren’s face flushed even brighter, biting their lip shyly, “Noo, he definitely wouldn’t want someone like me…” Their self consciousness was starting to show, “I mean, I’m just a nosy empath with gender issues. Sayaka is...a literal popstar.” 

“And? Popstar or no, you still have something special about you that Naegi senses! Cmon, Ren, be a bit more confident in yourself!” Hina rebutted, determination glittering in her bright blue eyes before giggling and shoving a baked treat into her mouth.

“I-I’m plenty confident in myself!” ‘I...I think.’ They left that last bit out, looking away to bite their lip in uncertainty.

The rest of the girls shared a mutual doubtful, somewhat concerned look, before shaking their heads.

“Tell us that when you manage to ask Naegi out yourself, dear.” Celeste concluded, delicately eating at some sparse vegetables she had served herself, smiling sweetly towards her.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” They huffed, blushing with a slight pout as they idly drank at the sugary drink that sat next to them. It tasted sweet, and reminded them of peaches… Peach soda. Huh.

Still, looking over to the tree next to them, they spotted Makoto amongst some of the guys- laughing alongside Ishimaru, Sayaka, Kyoko, and Yasuhiro...and found their heart sinking a bit in their chest.

‘He’d...never fall for someone like me. It’s not like I’m extraordinary or anything… I’m not like the rest of the Ultimates here.’ They thought to themselves, feeling their mood start to shift. However, the next moment, his eyes met theirs and he smiled, offering a shy wave- and they felt their heart start to race all over again.

‘...Still. I’ll...I’ll stay hopeful for it. It never hurts to dream, right?’

Slowly, the memory faded into nothing once more, and while they didn’t open their eyes again, they felt the sense of their surroundings return once again.

‘Hopes Peak Academy...I never expected I’d get in, especially while I was a runaway...but when I did, it changed my life. For the first time I had friends. I had people I cared about...but at the time, I was so wrapped up in my own trauma, in my own depression...I just didn’t notice. I thought I was alone..’ They thought to themselves, a curl of a small smile on their features, ‘...And my love for Makoto...it goes even beyond the Killing School Life...Gods, Hina isn’t going to let me live THAT down anytime soon if she remembers that.’

Still...there was something about knowing their classmates...truly KNOWING their classmates now, compared to back then...that hurt their heart even more.

‘...They all deserved so much better… None of them deserved to die. None of them deserved to be murdered...none of them deserved to suffer the way we all did. I hope they’re doing okay in the everafter…’ 

Still, as sweet as the memory was, they had to continue. They had to keep going down memory lane. And, it seemed everyone else agreed, as the electromagnetic humming started once again, filling their head with noise. This one felt more abrupt, more sharp, and suddenly they were groaning in pain a bit. Whatever was going on, it hurt...it actually really, really hurt-

“I-Is...is everything...okay??” They managed to open an eye slightly… Only to notice the panic in the technician’s faces. Was something going wrong??? Why did this hurt so badly and all of a sudden- it felt like their head might burst from the pain that came from the sound. 

...They had little time to ask, as within the next moment the world spun back into oblivion once again.

–☆–

“Soooooreeeen~!” 

A cheerful voice brought them to their senses, a thin thumb running over their cheek and wiping a tear from their eyes.

“Hey, are you listening to yourself?” Junko. One of Ren’s newer friends- though she’s been the most honest to them about everything going on.

“I-I ah….s-sorry. I guess I was rambling again, huh?” They looked over to her. They were sitting in an abandoned classroom, the blonde in question was sitting on one of the desks, looking down at them through empty, crystalline eyes.

“Yeah, you were totally out of it.” She chuckled, a smirk on her face, “I can’t believe how heartbroken you look, but honestly? It’s really cute.”

“Oh shutup-” They blushed a bit, looking away, “I-It’s...it’s nothing.”

“Oh really? Even though Makoto is going on what’s totally a date with Sayaka?” Junko leaned into their face, “It’s okay to feel that, y’know? It’s totally okay to let those feelings manifest into something quite...gorgeous. Wouldn’t you agree? It’s like you said, right?” “...There's beauty in everything. Even the worst bits of life…Even in the pain.” They repeated, another tear falling down their cheek.

“There we go… It’s really sad, how you’re literally the side character to your own life, you know? How often Asahina and the others just go off on their own without you?...Well, at least I’m here, you know?” Junko grinned a bit as they nodded, slowly.

“Yeah…”

“Junko...We do have a plan to discuss, you know…” A voice caught both of their attention, and looking towards the corner of the room, Mukuro Ikusaba. A sweet girl with dark black hair and another array of freckles. If they weren’t so bent out of shape with Makoto, honestly Mukuro was also very cute…

“Oh shutup!” Junko’s high pitch voice cut through their gay thoughts, quickly looking back to the blonde, “Anyway, let’s go over the plan I came up with! Alright?”

“Okay…” Mukuro nodded quietly, submitting to her sister’s behavior once again with a passive smile. This seemed to be quite the pattern with these two, and Ren wondered if all siblings acted like this...

“So, I heard some super super secret news about how this whole...event that happened at the school is only going to get worse,” Junko explained, “But with the rest of the outside world. We’re pretty sure that the school will lock up a bunch of us in here, and we want to make things that much more fun for everyone.”

“...Okay…?” Ren raised an eyebrow, concerned.

“We want you to be the one to get back at them.” 

“Huh?”

“You know!! Beat up everyone who keeps abandoning you! Your so called ‘friends’ and your ‘crush’ who abandon you when you need them the most? The ones who clearly couldn’t care less about you? Don’t you want to get back at them?” Junko leaned in towards Ren, who bit their lip, shaking their head.

“N-No...No of course not...I-I mean, they have lives of their own, they shouldn’t have to pay all their attention to me all the time…”

“Even when they clearly forget about you all the time? When you almost killed yourself at the end of last year?” Junko’s eyes stared into Ren’s soul, and they felt...almost violated by the eye contact.

“...E-even so...I-I wouldn’t hurt them…”

“So what are you gonna do? Turn tail and run back to Ireland? Back to your family?” They still don’t know HOW Junko found out about their past- as far as everyone else knew, they were just an Ireland transfer student.

“...N-No, of course not.”

“So, you’ll stay. And play our game.” Junko smiled, “Okay?”

“I…”

“I wouldn’t want something...devastating happening to your dear Naegi, would you?” Junko’s grin turned almost sadistic as she spoke, harshly grabbing their face, “So, you’ll play our game, right?”

Their heart stopped...if Makoto was going to put in danger.......no, they’d do anything in their power to make sure that happened, even if- for the time being- they had to play along.

“...Yes...yes of course.” They mumbled, cheeks squished.

“Good! Besides, it’s not like you’re killin’ em or anything! Not unless you wanna, then of course I’ve got your back on that!” Junko chuckled a bit, letting go of their face, watching as they rubbed their cheeks.

“I-I’d...I’d never kill anyone…”

“Oh dear, we’ll see.”

Junko got up from her seat, slowly approaching Ren and cornering them in their chair.

“J-Junko?...” Their eyes widened, “What are you doing?” 

“Hmm...I just want to show you something. Is that okay?” The blonde grinned, tilting their chin up, “After that, we can further discuss this prank of ours.”

“...N-Noo…?” They had a bad feeling about it, but Junko didn’t seem to listen. They quickly got up to leave, they suddenly didn’t feel safe in the room alone with her- but they felt their arm yanked back, and pinned back into the next desk. 

“J-Junko-!”

The blondes bright eyes appeared in their vision next, her grin a bit sharper than it probably should be.

“Mukuro, hold them down, I want to watch how they react to this video…”

...Something happened during that day. Something that...even to their mind's eye, was fuzzy. They remembered that they started crying again at one point, they remember they felt violated- but they didn’t know why. They don’t remember what happened. They don’t remember how they felt after- or if they even felt anything...But all they could recall after was a faint whisper of a voice, menacing yet dripping with faux sweetness.

“You’ll make them all pay for what they did to you, right?”

“Yes, Junko.”

…

“Junko?”

“Ohmygod- Yeeees?”

“...Let my memory get erased too. I promise I’ll still follow up on my deal. I...I’ll still have my anger, I’ll still have that aggression. I promise. Just...wipe my memory alongside everyone else. So I don’t spill our little secret. Okay?”

 “....Fine.”

–☆–

In that brief moment, they suddenly jolted upright- body trembling and a pained gasp leaving their lungs. They- they couldn’t breathe all of a sudden, and everything suddenly felt so loud-

The primary technician who ran the whole ordeal ran inside, quickly detaching the device and kneeling down in front of Ren.

“Soren?! Hey, can you hear me?!” No. No they couldn’t. All they could think about was how sick they felt, how suddenly suicidal they felt. Were they drowning? Why couldn’t they breathe?!

‘I agreed to hurt people for Junko...S-she manipulated me...she hurt me...to get me to play her game. To keep me from leaving before shit hit the fan...Fuck. Fuck, if I followed through on any of her ideas…To think I agreed to HER game- God I’m a fucking idiot!’ Their thoughts were running at a thousand miles an hour, struggling to breathe. Their hands were tugging desperately on their restraints, unsure if they wanted to hold their throat in attempts to try and breathe again, or if they wanted to claw at their arms until they bled.

They shook their head violently, and in the next moment- with little warning aside from their stomach doing a complete 180- doubled over in their chair and threw up right into their lap. The technician, alarmed, quickly rang up their psychologist who was a few floors down, to provide assistance. 

Everything in their vision swam. They conspired with Junko to hurt people. They conspired with Junko...they...they enabled the Killing Game before it even started.

They puked again. They felt like they might throw up their lungs next, at this rate.

Why were they alive? Why did they have to be the one alive?! They kept making one mistake after another- and this just proved it! This just proved how fucked up they were. How dangerous they were to others.

“Ren- Ren, tell me what you saw!” The technician grabbed their shoulders, trying to get them to focus. Their trashing just got worse. “No! No- No let go of me! Let go of me! I- I can’t breathe- oh my god what did I do!?” Their voice was hoarse from the acidic bile in their throat, struggling not to get sick even more. 

“What did you see?! What did you recall?!” The technician kept trying to talk to them, which only resulted in overwhelming them all the more. The last thing they can completely remember after abruptly waking up from their memory revitalization- was screaming at the top of their lungs. They just wanted to die- they didn’t deserve to live for working with Junko- for working with despair. Frankly, they wished they had died instead of recalling anything at all.

They…frankly don’t remember the next hour or so. They remember faces, eyes, voices speaking to them...a needle being put into their arm…

And soon, they calmed down a bit, feeling sluggish and heavy. Everything felt a bit fuzzy at the edges of their mind as the screaming- both physically and mentally- all but stopped. 

‘Sedatives,’ The thought connected briefly, before the word escaped them altogether in the cloud of drugs. Their psychologist helped them to their feet-- when did they get onto the floor of the laboratory?-- and out of the lab.

Being barely supported under their arm, they basically dragged their feet back to their shared apartment room within their sector’s building with Makoto. Their psychologist stuck by their side until they were able to walk easier, before heading off to schedule a few more appointments in the very near tomorrow. They had a feeling they’d be busy tomorrow, if they even had the energy to get up. 

They remember looking at the time...But they don’t remember what it was. Late, they figured. They stumbled inside, nearly falling on their face as they held their head, still trying to wrap their mind around everything they remembered.

The slight shifting from one of the rooms in the apartment got their attention though, and within another blink Makoto was at their side- helping them stand up a bit and trying to help them into bed. His mouth moved, and they acknowledged that he was saying something to them...but it took a few moments before anything he said actually was heard by them. When they were, they looked up a bit more at him, to which he sighed. 

“What happened?” He asked them, eyebrows furrowed in concern. Their eyes watered a bit, mumbling a quiet, ‘I’m so so sorry...I’m… I failed everyone here…’ 

“Failed? Ren?” He sat them down, clasping their hand, “You had the memory recovery procedure today right? What happened?”

“...I-I can’t...I can’t tell you.” They mumbled, eyes squeezed shut, “You’d hate me. Everyone would...I-I can’t… I can’t take it…” They shook their head, breathing starting to go shallow again as Makoto quickly waved his hands in mild panic.

“Hey, hey, calm down, calm down! It’s going to be okay. Y-you don’t need to talk about it right now, okay? Everything’s okay.” He reassured them, concerned and slightly panicked, “I could never hate you, Ren…” “...” They wanted to scream, they wanted to explain everything to those eyes, they wanted to prove him wrong. They wanted to prove that they should be hated, especially after what they’ve done...but they just felt too tired. They felt too scared...they felt too insecure to admit to it.

“Just rest for now, okay? I’ll bring you some water, and..” He noticed how stained their clothes were, and his nervous smile faltered, “And a change of clothes, apparently, yikes… Do you need anything else?”

“...Medication…” They mumbled quietly, tossing off their shirt and pants without much mind to it, “Please…”

“...Right, okay.” He faltered a bit and quickly looked away from their frame, getting back to his feet, “You rest up for a bit, and I’ll...I’ll get what you need, okay?”

“Okay…” “I love you…” ‘You wouldn’t if you knew what I did…’

Laying down, they felt their eyes flutter as the sedatives further kicked in, feeling their consciousness start to slip…

“I love you too.”

[bngtanah]

The Difference Between Boys & Girls | o4

summary: Sam & Erin are university students who share a cheap one bedroom apartment above a shitty takeaway restaurant. Due to the limited space, they’ve grown accustomed to sharing just about everything, including the occasional kiss.

pairing: Jung Hoseok (Samuel Park) feat. Park Jimin  x Named OC characters: meet the cast.

words: 3.5k genre: angst, romance, fluff

chapters: o1| o2| o3| o4| o5| o6| o7| o8| o9| 10| 11| 12| 13| 14

warning: boyfriend!hoseok, jealous!hoseok, friends to lovers trope, college au, angst, sexual themes, slow burn

a/n: still a fool. still reuploading.

Samuel wasn't exactly sure just how long he'd been laying there, lazily staring at Erin while she slept peacefully. However, he did know that it had been long enough for him to discern that she had a weird habit of muttering things to herself while she slept. Most of it was nonsense, but that didn't make it any less charming in Sam's eyes. Which is why Erin awoke to the sight of him gazing at her with an exceptionally large grin on his face.

"What are you doing?" She asked without so much as a flinch, she was used to waking up him in the same bed as her by now. Albeit he was usually never this close when she woke up but Erin decided that it was too early to question things.

"Watching you sleep, did you know that you talk in your sleep, noona?" Sam said, his eyes never leaving her face as she shifted on the mattress to sit up and rub her tired eyes.

"I do not" Erin scoffed.

"You really do, it's fucking weird."

"Well, if I'm such a weird sleeper why are you in here?" The brunette asked while she moved to lean over Sam's body, detaching her cell phone from its charging cable then leaning back down to rest the back of her head against her pillow.

"It's cold in the living room and the heater is still broken" Sam pouted and snuggled closer to his friend by wrapping his arms tightly around her waist and placing his head on her shoulder.

"Why don't you make use of that electronic blanket I bought you?" Erin asked while caressing his cheek with one hand and using the other to scroll through the few messages she'd received while asleep. Quite a few of them were from Brian which made her smile inadvertently.

Erin may not have noticed the smile creeping up on her face but Samuel did, which made the pleasant grin he was wearing waver slightly then fall completely when Erin removed her hand from his cheek and began replying to the messages with questions about their date later than night. Samuel coughed slightly and detached himself from his best friend.

Noticing the loss of warmth next to her, Erin looked up "Where are you going?" 

"Uh-I've got a class soon. I should start getting ready for it," Sam replied from the edge of the bed, looking back at Erin over his shoulder "I'll see you later, all right?"

"Alright. See you." Erin said softly as she watched him get up and leave the bedroom without a second glance. She sat in silence for a what couldn't have been more than a few seconds, waiting for his head to pop up in the corner of the doorway like it usually did when he was getting ready for class but it never did. Instead, Erin only heard the sound of the shower turning on and the gentle ping from her phone to notify that she had an incoming message.

It had been a long and tiring day for young Samuel Park.  He never enjoyed going to any of his classes, but he attended them all because he knew that was expecting of him. He suffered through the mind-numbing bore that was majoring in Engineering, knowing that his last year was coming up soon and this would all be over, eventually. After he struggled through the three classes he had that day he moved from one level hell to another, namely his part-time job at a convenience store a few blocks away from his apartment. The job itself was easy since Sammy loved people and he had the indescribable quality to make everyone like him for no real reason, even the particularly annoying customers didn't bother him as much as his manager did. The man did everything he possibly could to make sure that Sam worked twice as hard as anyone else there when they worked the same schedule. Cleaning the bathrooms, mopping up spills that never seemed to happen when Sam worked by himself or with another member of the team; there were even a few times where Sam found himself washing his manager's car just to avoid being fired or punished with something much worse. 

Even with all that; the stress always seemed to melt right off Samuel's shoulders when he got home, especially when Erin was already home and he could hear her voice. Today was different though, Sam inhaled and exhaled deeply when he opened the door and stepped over the threshold of their shared apartment. He was met with the sound Erin butchering some song that he heard a lot on the radio from her bedroom, her knowledge of the language was nearly perfect but Erin was far from a talented singer. With an amused grin on his lips, Sam pushed off his shoes, kicked the door closed behind him and headed to the source of the loud music. 

"At least one of us had a good da-" Sam begin to say before he stopped in the doorway with a dumbstruck look on his face. He could tell she was getting ready to go somewhere judging by the amount of makeup things she had spread across her vanity, but that wasn't what made him stop. It wasn't even because she was dancing around the room with her eyes screwed shut screeching into a hairbrush like a twelve-year-old, what gave him pause was the fact that she was doing all of this while wearing one of his oversized t-shirts and little else. His fingertips twitched with the desire to touch her by his side, making Sam stuff his hands into his pockets and clear his throat loudly while leaning casually against the doorpost.

"You run out of clothes?" He asked coolly, as if one of his fantasies wasn't playing out before his very eyes.

"Aigoo, Sammy! You startled me," Erin grinned as her eyes shot open and she clutched her chest "I didn't think you'd be home yet, sorry about the noise" She apologised and moved toward her cell to lower her music. 

Sammy nodded toward her torso and Erin glanced down, his earlier question playing back in her mind "Oh this..... this isn't what it looks like" She motioned to the shirt that barely covered her thighs before reaching down to toy with the hem "I'm wearing white tonight and I didn't want to risk getting any makeup on my top. I thought it'd be okay since I hardly ever see you wear this." Erin shrugged and glanced at the ground.

"I can take it off it bothers you,"

"No!" Samuel replied, a little too quickly. "I mean it's fine, you're right I don't wear that anymore," He said with an awkward laugh  then took a few steps forward. "Hot date tonight?"

Erin nodded "Uh yeah, with Brian" She sighed as she took a seat on the edge of her bed to pull on her jeans. Sammy really tried his best not to glance, but that was a losing battle. "We met up for coffee yesterday but tonight will be our first official date."

"Nervous?" He asked while hovering close to where she sat but never quite getting close.

"I wasn't at first but now I kind of am?" Erin looked up and smiled "Is that pathetic? I haven't been on a proper date in a very long time, what if I say something stupid?" She groaned which made Sammy smile and finally sit down next to her, his hands coming out of his pockets to rest in his lap.

"He'll just think you're cute, that's nothing to worry about" Samuel reassured Erin by gently squeezing her knee and rubbing against it with his thumb.

It was the first form of contact that he'd initiated with her that wasn't just a hug apart from the cuddling that morning and the action sent sparks of raging fire surging throughout Erin's body. When she worked up the courage to look up Erin nibbled nervously on her bottom lip, he was giving her the same look he was that night after the gallery viewing. Except this time his intense gaze seemed to drift from her eyes and lips down to her torso then back up to her face.

The air between them was charged and only took the feeling of Sam's hand gingerly moving up her thigh for Erin to force air into her lungs again "I should probably finish getting dressed" she breathed, her voice scratchy and meek. Sam stilled his movements and then looked into her eyes and nodded, his standard smiling expression replacing the look of desire he had been wearing just a few seconds earlier "Yeah.... I'll get out of your hair" He said with a curt nod while standing to his feet.

"Speaking of hair... when did yours get so curly again?" He turned to ask on his way out of the room. 

"Oh. I stopped doing the magic perm thing a couple months ago, I've been using a flat iron to keep it straight but I decided to let it free tonight. What do you think? Too much?" Erin asked with a twinge of insecurity in her voice.

"No." Sam sighed "You look perfect."

The warm sensation of Samuel's hand caressing her thigh still replayed in Erin's mind; it flared up throughout her subway ride to Hongdae and the feeling continued to surround her with warmth as she walked the few blocks toward the address Brian had texted her. It was silly of her to stop him and Erin knew that but she didn't want to go there with Sammy until she knew exactly what he wanted from her. Well, besides the obvious. Sleeping with him or even just making out with him at this point would only make their friendship and living situation awkward unless they were both ready to commit to whatever was building between them.

"You made it!"

Brian's lilt voice broke Erin's train of thought and she looked up to see her date for the night standing with an arm outstretched and a welcoming smile on his face. Erin nodded and brightened up as she closed the distance between them, vowing not to think about her roommate for the rest of the night.

"I was just about to call, I though you might have gotten lost," Brian said while offering her his arm.

"Ah, no just late. You refused to tell me where we're going so I didn't know what to dress for." Erin replied, all of her nervousness returning as she took hold of Brian's muscular arm.

He laughed, and the sound seemed to calm Erin but not much. "Trust me you look great, come on it's not too far from here" Brian stated and began leading them up the street.

The pair made small talk during the brief walk, mostly about their day and compliments on their attire. Brian was dressed more casually than he was the first time they met, trading his button down and khaki slacks for a plain white tee, a large coat and a pair of distressed jeans. On his feet were a pair of golden brown Timberland boots, which seemed to add a few inches to his height but Erin kept that observation to herself. His hair was still blindingly orange but instead of being neatly styled and pushed back from his face it all seemed to fall forward and stop just above his eyes tonight. Erin liked being able to see his features more, but this way was nice too. Brian seemed like the type of guy that could put anything on and make it work for him.

"Here we are!" Brian announced as they came to a stop, Erin looked up and immediately felt all the warmth drain from her face. The sign that immediately caught her eye was DVD방 and the feeling of surprise she felt first was immediately replaced with annoyance as she turned to look over at Brian who seemed to be oblivious to Erin's reaction. 

"There's the most amazing little pub in the basement of this building," He started as he began leading her forward "Most nights you need a password to get in but I got my manager to put us on the list tonight."

Erin said nothing, only allowing herself to be led forward and down a mirrored staircase until they were standing in front of a room with an unmarked door. Brian knocked twice and a pair of thin eyes appeared from behind the slot in the middle of the door. He whispered a few things that Erin couldn't make out and after a few seconds the door opened to reveal an elaborately decorated bar.

It couldn't have been any bigger than Erin's living room and it was packed to the brim with different types of alcohol and decorations that looked like they were lifted straight from the year 1922, leaving just a bar and a few tables for seating. There was soft music playing in the background but the volume was low enough to encourage conversation and not the opposite. Brian led Erin to a table in the centre of the room and pulled out her chair for her then took a seat himself. "Have you eaten? They make great Kimchi bokkeumbap here."

"That sounds good," Erin finally scratched out in response to his question, removing her coat and laying it across her lap.

Having gotten over her initial shock, Erin loosened up as the night went on, the bottle of soju they shared helped that, of course. They covered standard first date topics; where each of them grew up, went to school, what Erin was studying at her university since Brian wasn't enrolled in any college, what Brian did when he wasn't painting. The conversation ebbed and flowed in a way that was natural and didn't seem forced on either party. After a few hours had passed by Erin rested her hands on the table and gave Brian a mischievous look that made him raise his eyebrows.

"Can I say something?" She blurted out after a second.

"Of course," he replied.

"I am just so glad that you're not one of those kinds of guys," Erin answered, sounding exasperated.

"What kind of guy?" he asked and leaning forward as if he was intrigued to hear her analysis of him after just a few hours.

"Y'know... the kind of guy that meets a foreign girl and expects her to sleep with him after buying her a cup of coffee and saying some cute things in Korean."

Brian's eyes widened with shock and he stammered over his words "W-why would you think that?"

"I went to high school here Brian, I know what it means when a guy brings you to a DVD방 on the first date."

"Oh my god," Brian stuttered as realisation soon washed over him "I wasn't even thinking about that, I am so sorry. T-that wasn't even crossing my mind-."

"It's alright, it's alright. I figured that out once we sat down and actually started eating," Erin laughed as she tried to ease her date's nerves.

"Okay that's good" Brian sighed and relaxed in his seat. He leaned back and folded his arm across his chest for a few moments, looking pensive. "Hey, since we're saying things... can I ask you something?"

"Sure,"

"What's the deal with your roommate? S..am was his name, right? Are you guys... like..... Or have you ever..." He was fumbling over his words and making gestures with his hands that made Erin break into a laugh and cover her mouth with her hand.

"Ah, we're just friends. We've never dated or anything like that," She replied, which was mostly true. They hadn't dated. "Actually, calling him just a friend doesn't seem good enough. He was the first genuine friend that I made after moving here and he's been my very best friend ever since. His family moved in next to mine and we all became really close, his mom even taught me Korean," Erin mused with a wide smile. "I mean I had a tutor at school and everything but she really helped me appreciate the culture behind all the words I was learning. Without Sammy or his family being there for me I don't think I would have found any happiness here when I was younger, so in a way he's more than just a friend to me. He's family."

Brian nodded as she spoke, noting the way she seemed to smile a little brighter whenever she said her roommate's name. He thought of bringing it up but the night had been going perfectly he didn't want to risk offending her. She wouldn't be here with him if there really was something going on with her roommate, right? 

"Okay," Brian said with a small smirk "I was just wondering if I'd have to put up a fight for your heart" He teased and reached across the table to lace Erin's fingers with his own. Gentle pangs of electricity buzzed on the surface of her skin, it wasn't much compared to when Sammy touched her but still, it was something.

"I’m pretty sure you'd be the only one fighting for it" Erin giggled and trailed her thumb against his hand. Also, technically not a lie.

"Good."

The rest of the night went off without a hitch and soon Erin and Brian stood in front of Erin's apartment door while Erin fumbled around awkwardly to find her keys. "Thank you so much for walking me to the door, you really didn't have to." Erin said once her keys were finally in hand.

"I couldn't let you walk up those stairs alone this late at night," Brian answered and reached up to rub the back of his neck.

There was a moment of silence when their eyes connected and they both knew how they wanted to end the night but neither of them seemed to have the courage to make the first move. 

"I had a really nice time with you tonight, Erin" Brian was the first to speak and take a slight step forward.

Erin nodded and matched his step with one of her own "Really nice, you have to take me to that bar again sometime."

"Definitely," Brian whispered and kept moving forward until there was just a sliver of space between them. One of his hands reached up and delicately framed Erin's face, his eyes bore into her own and held her gaze until Erin silently gave him permission to proceed. He moved slowly at first, not wanting to giveaway just how much he had been wanting to kiss her. Once their lips touched, however, it only took seconds for his body to betray his mind. His lips were soft, just as soft as Erin had imagined they would be when she found caught herself staring at them earlier that night.

When their mouths connected Brian spared no time and gingerly teased her lips apart with the tip of his tongue. She felt herself smile against his lips as his palms smoothed down from her waist to grab her a handful of her ass. In one smooth movement, Brian pulled her body as close to his as possible and Erin gasped lightly, breaking their kiss momentarily. Every curve of her body was pressed against his like a puzzle piece and Erin could feel a reason for them to stop slowly beginning to brush against her.

“It's getting late” Erin murmured against his lips before pulling away.

"Yeah, it is" Brian returned as he let the grip he had on her body go lax, "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

Erin nodded and waved at him slightly while he disappeared down the stairwell.

Her fingertips pressed to her lips and Erin beamed as she unlocked the front door and tiptoed into her apartment, not wanting to wake Sammy.

"How was your date?" She heard from the couch.

"Oh, you're awake, I thought you'd be asleep by now,"

"I couldn't sleep knowing you're out in the city with a strange man,"

Erin laughed and shook her head, walking toward the couch where Samuel was stretched out on the pull out mattress and sat down next to where he laid.

"Seriously, how was it?" He asked again.

"It was.." Erin looked down at Samuel's tired face, threading her fingertips through the front of his hair to push it away from his forehead then she moved her palm flat against his cheek and held it there for a few seconds. Samuel responded with a warm smile.

"It was good."

[batwynn]

Hi ! I’m sorry if this ask bothers you but I tried to read Return To Sender today and couldn’t see any of the images ? As it is a fic that I re-read every year and that I’m really fond of, I was kinda disappointed. Seems to be a hosting problem. :( Anyways, keep up the good work !

Hi there! I hope you don’t mind me posting this publically, I just want others to know because I’ve had a few people ask me about this. To start, please know that my frustration is not at all with you or any of my readers. It’s with AO3 and the whole image hosting sites vanishing and becoming useless thing. I love that you re-read it, and that makes me so happy, and I want you and others to still be able to read it and for me to be able to update it with out all the frustration... but... 

At this point I think I’m giving up on AO3 with that fic in particular, I’m afraid. Because I’ve reuploaded and replaced the links for all of those images well over 10 times now and it’s an AO3 problem at this point that they’re never, ever going to fix it. I have hosted the images on so many sites now I don’t even know where else is left to try, and to be honest... I’m really, really sick of doing this. I honestly have a very difficult time doing this, and it’s incredibly time consuming to go through and try to even imagine with order the images go in for each chapter when the images are gone. I have to go through the entire RTS tag here on tumblr, which isn’t in any chronological order anymore, and then re-download half the images again because most of them were lost in the early days because of a computer crash. Then I have to find a new site to host, get the links, try to figure out the right order and chapter and put the link in, change the image size to fit better, and hope that, somehow, this time the image won’t vanish. But it always does. If AO3 really wanted us to be able to post images with fics or image fics without this problem, they would have found another way to handle hosting. If they had the money for it, the coding for it, the staff for it, etc etc. But they don’t, and I don’t think they are going to change that any time soon. At this point, I think... I think Return to Sender is now dead on AO3. 

I am going to actually take the time to upload it to my site sometime, as soon as I have time so it can be found again, but I really can’t afford the time to waste trying this with AO3 again. I’m really sorry about this, and if I had more time/money/resources I would just talk to AO3 about it myself and see if I could be that change, but I’m having a really hard time right now and I honestly just don’t have the time or energy to do much of anything outside of working. 

[euphoriacrossing]

The closer we get the more my anxiety plays up...

What if I can't keep up with my journal that I worked so hard on?

What if I mess up something I can't change on my island? (I don't WANT to have to reset, but if it's the first day i will... i don't want to have to reset two or three days in because i change my mind about something...)

And the bigger ones.... I've been so tired I can barely stay awake two or three hours at a time. I can't do a whole lot of recreational things because I'm asleep. Right now I'm attributing it to depression, but I am going to ask my oncologist if maybe the meds could cause it (the meds I DID stop, but thay messed with my hormones anyway) or if the slight bit of anemia I have could cause it maybe? What if I am not awake enough to fully enjoy the game?

I go to the oral surgeon I think for a consultation to get some teeth pulled, what if he wants to do it anytime soon after the game is out? Will it mess with my enjoybility to have that kind of procedure? (Last time I had teeth out... my wisdom teeth I did very poorly, I got two dry sockets and was in some of the worst pain... I was LUCKY to be able to sleep as much as I did, because the pain was awful. And I followed instructions, so I don't know if I am more prone to those kinds of things or if it was the fact he didn't tell me to stop my birth control or what... but it was bad. And now I have a much higher tolerance to pain meds and will have to use the ones I'm ON so they'll be less effective probably. I'll die if I get a dry socket. Pain tolerance, mine is high until you get to my mouth and then I'm an absolute crybaby.) So say he wants to do it the Monday after... will I be out of commission to play for two weeks or more while I recover? I know this sounds more important, but to me the game is important, too. I want to be able to put in at least some work daily for quite a while so I can create a beautiful island at the same time others who start on the 20th are. So it may not seem like a huge deal, but it is to me okay? Enough of a huge deal for my anxiety to use it against me.

Those are just examples though. I have an anxiety disorder which in past years has become more generalized and entwined with my bipolar symptoms. So I am in no short supply of things related to the 20th to be anxious about.

I wish I could just be happy. And I mean, I am. We have less than a week and I'll be playing a game that is 7 years in the making for those of us that play Animal Crossing. I've been waiting with baited breath probably more than a year, to the point where when Pokemon Sw/Shld came out it was just a distraction instead of the main event, at that point I was already craving New Horizons desperately. And here we are nearly at the end of our waiting, I am happy, don't get me wrong.

But my mind never just let's me be happy.

What if I am too late to make friends in the first few days like I've planned? Everyone else seems to already have their friendships, but I knew I couldn't keep up with a friendship that long. So here is the week to make friends, and I don't feel I know how, or I feel like most people already have their friends. I have maybe two people besides my sister to play with. And I'm excited for that. But I'd love to be included in a larger group of friends or something, you know, that sort of thing is nice. If I only have a few close friends though, that'd be nice too. And i think the first few days it seems people might just be playing on their own, i don't always NEED someone to play with, I'll probably prefer to play alone, or maybe with my sister mostly, or just my close friend when I play. But it's just i guess i expected to use this opportunity to make more friends and now i feel i am wasting it. I don't often have such an "easy way" to make friends because I am disinterested in most things and just don't have a lot to talk about. This common interest is an amazing thing to talk about and should make things easier, but it doesn't as much as I hoped I guess.

What if I don't finish my journal? I worked so hard on it, but i need my dad's help with the label maker and need to finalize the decisions about what I'm going to record in it before I do make the labels. It can still be changed later because I am using labels on plastic tabs and a discbound journal but what if I don't have time once i'm playing?

Ugh. Just all the "what ifs". And I know some people will think "why'd she bother making this post?" Well random person, it does help to get them out in the open. Since most everything I have been thinking has been AC related lately, this has turned into a bit of a personal blog. Sorry for that. I do plan to make it a New Horizons blog and post as much original content as I can once ACNH is out.

Oh another one. What if posting original content is too hard?

Like, I want this blog to have original content and all that, but if you have to remove your memory card and get on a computer to do it, that's a lot of trouble and extra energy I don't have these days. And you had to do that for New Leaf and everyone did including myself, but I had more energy and it seemed easier. And it seems like it was less effort those days because people DID THINGS on the computer including myself. Now I use my phone and ipad as computers, you can do almost all the same things on them, and my laptop sits idle which might be the reason it doesn't run as well these days. Or it may just be that it's old as crap for a laptop. I mean, I guess it's moderately old for what it is, it's a very nice laptop, but I think it's the same one I had for New Leaf so it's been with me a while. Anyway, it SEEMED like less trouble because you were on the computer doing stuff anyway, so just pop your memory card in there and go while you're checking your stuff. It's not that easy on a phone, BUT I am hoping you can post photos and screenshots to SOMETHING through the Nooklink app. We don't know everything about the app yet as it isnt out yet, and I doubt you can post straight to tumblr (though that'd make things easy, huh?) because this is not the most used platform anymore, but if I can post them to anywhere (like facebook or twitter... I'd probably post them privately to facebook because I am less versed in twitter stuff, but then I did recently become an AC twitter on my personal twitter because I never used my personal twitter anyway, so... yeah...) I can grab them on my phone once they are uploaded and reupload them here. But I also plan to make my "diary like" text posts here. I am not recording a diary in my journal having to do with NH, I only want like... data and information I can use, etc. But that doesn't mean I won't want to write diary like entries, and I am less likely to lose my blog that a physical journal anyway it feels. (I say less likely... I lost my New Leaf blog for a few years there, but with effort I did recently find it.) So it could be very easy to post original content here, or if the app doesn't do things it really totally should, then it might be a bit more effort and I don't know if I have that to give right now, so I'm nervous about that. Everything I post here about my game experience is going to be more for me to look back on than anything, so I WANT to be able to post about that stuff here. But I guess we'll have to wait to see, along with waiting for the game.

And everyone knows how well waiting and anxiety get along. They are two peas in a pod, they play off each other like it's no one's business.

But I hope everything in the end will just be okay. I am "lucky" in a way. Since I'm chronically ill, disabled, and have cancer, I don't have work or school to worry about and while being sick is a big bummer, that does take a lot of stress off of me. I don't know how I would handle a job or school even just mentally these days, I don't see how it could go well and I guess that is because I am so sick, even just mentally... but I know a lot of disabled people DO still do those things anyway, sometimes because they HAVE to, so I am glad I am in a position at my age where I am still largely take care of. My disability money doesn't cover a fraction of my necessities, so I feel blessed everyday for my parents, even though my mom and I fight like cats and dogs. Annnndddd now I am getting to be anxious about what happens to me when my parents are gone and that's a WHOLE different type of anxiety... yikes... I need to stop letting my anxiety run rampant now I guess, it's gone too far.

But I am very "lucky" to be in a position where once the game comes out it can be my main focus for a while. Partially because i don't have the energy to focus on many different things, so it's good Animal Crossing can take up that main spot in my life for now.

Come on now, back to AC anxieties. Ya stupid general anxiety...

And I guess I am anxious about the typical things people are anxious about... what fruit will I get, will I like my first Islanders, etc. but to me those things arent as major. All the fruits are so pretty I could really get on with any of them I think, and hopefully my first villagers will be great, but I'll make myself a net if they're not, and I do have amiibo cards for moving in some of my favorite villagers later on, so I can deal with a dud or two.

I'm a little anxious about map layouts too, just picking the right one seems a little difficult to me since there are some things you cannot change. But I think I can make a good choice, I'm more worried if I'll be able to draw it in for my journal or not. I should draw the general layout for the map, but I don't even know if I can do that right.

Oh I also have a package to finish working on and get in the mail before Friday, BUT I finished the hardest parts (writing a bunch of postcards, basically a latter's worth of text but on postcards) last night, so I just have to do finishing touches and get it out. I maybe want to type another letter to send out, too, but if I don't get it done I'll try not to beat myself up. I got really burnt out on mail stuff lately and as much as I still get, which is about one or two things in the mail daily, I can't reply to all the things I should. I'm stressed about it, but I won't let that ruin my New Horizons time. Especially since mail was supposed to be a fun hobby for me and just... stopped. But that's a whole different thing, that has less to do with New Horizons than the other stuff.

Now I genuinely do feel less stressed since I rambled on for a while. Thanks for reading this, if you read any of it. I don't expect anyone to read all this anxiety inducing, depressing junk.

But anyway, now I am going to try and think about the Nooklink app and what kind of features I think it should have. Like I said, it really should have a way to post screenshots/pictures to social media, and I bet it's got something like that since we have the camera in game. I bet we maybe even can post pictures to social media from the switch. I mean, well, I know we can technically, but I mean I bet we can without having to leave the game. Because you can do that in New Leaf now. Gosh would that have been handy YEARS ago. I guess it came with the "welcome amiibo" update?

But at least we know we can scan in QR codes. I dunno if you've noticed but I have been collecting some and tagging them (you can find them under the "QR" tag on my blog, or by type of QR code, likes dresses I just tagged "dress") so I have them once we are able to use them in game. I am going to check my @playtimewithmadi blog to see if I have QR codes saved that I used in New Leaf, too, so I can reblog any good ones here. All of that gives me something to do, I suppose.

I could also work on my journal, or my mail. Both need to get done before Friday and need work.

But honestly, I am probably gonna play Happy Home Designer right now. I'll design at least one house, and then maybe I'll work on my mail and journal stuff. We'll see.

Anyway, thanks again for sticking with me, I love everyone who stays subbed to this blog even though the BS posts like this. Sorry for rambling on, but I needed this, so thank you for letting me have it.

Off to more distraction then...

[b0ne-marrow]

Valorverse - Reconciliation

Previous: https://www.deviantart.com/musical-medic/art/Valorverse-Broken-Ties-800780839 Pippin was gleefully trotting to his foodstand at the farmer's market, a skip in his step, carrying a bucket of fresh apples on each of his sides. He was selling this year's plentiful harvest in the form of Cider, tarts, fritters, and other lovely apple treats he had spent baking with some of his family. At the stand was Applejack, his dear mother, pulling the various confectionaries they had out of a cart and placing them on the stand. Pippin sat one of the buckets of apples on the edge of the table and the other next to the cart. He smiled at Applejack as he flipped the small sign on the stand to display that they were open. Almost as if they were waiting on them, Rainbow dash walks towards the stand in tow with her son, Breakneck right afterwards. She immediately goes to the cider as Breakneck walks up to Applejack and Pippin, his face glum and somber. He doesn't make eye contact with either of them. Rainbow walks up soon after with bits to pay for her cider. "... Pippin." Breakneck spoke up. "Oh! uh, hiya, BK!" The stallion let out an awkward and forced laugh, clearly uncomfortable with the pegasus' presence. Both Rainbow and Applejack watched with concern. "How are you doin' today?" Breakneck hung his head low, looking almost defeated in a way. "I... _{I'mSorryIBrokeYourWindow."} "..." Both Pippin and Applejack stared blankly at him for a moment. "Mama said I should apologize, even though I didn't meanit." A ping of pain shot through Pippin's chest, thinking that Rainbow more than likely knows of their "relationship" now with how close she and her son are, but he ignored it and gave Pippin a bright smile. Applejack also gave Breakneck a smile herself, hers more genuine. "Breakneck, honey, don'tcha wo-" "Why, Breakneck Blitz, we know you wouldn'ta done it on purpose! No worries. Momma and I fixed it right up!" Pippin tried to release the tension in his face and chest as he continued his put-on smile. Applejack gave him a confused but curious look, cocking an eyebrow up. "Riiight... We... sure did. Don't worry about it, Sugar. Just be more careful next time, and let us know so we don't think someone was tryin' to break in or somethin' like that." Breakneck nods his head. Rainbow looked between BK and Pippinnervously, then looked at Applejack, giving her a reassuring smile. "Soooo, uh, Applejack..., I need to tell you about somethin' Awesome! You won't BELIEVE this! Tank. had. BABIES." "Wait, I thought Tank was a bo-" Before she could react, Applejack was being pulled off by Rainbow out of the area. BK's head never rose, he avoiding eye contact with Pippin. His voice was low and grumbly, trotting behind the apple stand and stood right next to the bulky stallion. "You know what I'm really sorry about." "Don't you worry bout a thing, Breakneck!" He gave him a smile. "Oh, quit your shit, Pippin. I'm not in tha mood." Pippin's stature deflated, his fake smile turning into a frown. His ears flopped over as he looked surprised. "Look. I know we were just "experimenting" but I... I just wanted more than that. I caught feelings for you. I thought that maybe things could develop between us. I didn't mean to try and force us into something, and I should've been more.... "Sensitive" about the situation you were in with your family. Breakneck glanced over at Rainbow and Applejack, who were clearly hiding behind some bushes. Pippin sat for a moment, thinking over what he said. "Momma told me to tell you that last part, b-but I meant the rest." "...BK, I can't believe you're actually apologizin' to me." "What'sthatsupposed to mean?" He growled. "You told me yourself you don't like to and never want to." "..." "I really am sorry, Pippin." "Shit. I know you are. I'm sorry too." Pippin rests his hoof against Breakneck's shoulder. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate you tellin me your sorry and talkin about your emotions." Pippin's words took Breakneck by surprise. His cheeks went bright red. "Thanks, I guess." They sat there for a moment, listening to the crowd of ponies buying various food items. Pippin noticed a pile of bits by his register and a a few "missing" apple tarts. "I... lost my temper that night." "...As you have a tendency to do." Pippin snapped his mouth shut as BK gave him a glare. "...and I messed up pretty bad. Even I could see that." He chuckled awkwardly as he finally looked at Pippin. Pippin wrapped his arm around him and pulled him into an embrace. Breakneck's wings shot straight up, he returning the gesture and hugging him back. "I forgive you, BK. Just... work on talking about your feelings more and the anger issues, okay?" Breakneck had a brief moment of frustration before sighing. "You're right. okay, I will. I'm trying." Pippin pulls him into another hug. "Its okay. I know you're trying. Change ain't gonna happen in one day." The two hug each other for what feels like an hour, they simply enjoying being in each other's presence. "...I miss talkin' with ya, BK." Breakneck didn't respond, but felt his cheeks go flush. Holy Resourse using Batman I used a lot of things here: Background:https://www.deviantart.com/vector-brony/art/Ponyville-Market-723903997 Cider: https://www.deviantart.com/vectorshy/art/Mug-of-Cider-306718588 Apple Brown Betties (cupcakle like thing right beside the cider: https://www.deviantart.com/chainchomp2/art/Apple-Brown-Betty-451168161 Apple Fritter and Apple Cake:https://www.deviantart.com/korikian/art/365-Day-201-Drinks-and-Pies-243830006 (I also borrowed the plates from this one too) Zap Apple Cupcakes: https://www.deviantart.com/atnezau/art/Zapapple-Cupcake-278660553 Zap Apple Tart:https://www.deviantart.com/atnezau/art/Zappaple-Tart-278793044 Apple Friiter cake things:https://www.deviantart.com/90sigma/art/Applejack-s-Royal-Wedding-Bitesize-Apple- Fritters-299777985 I threw in the part about Tank having babies as a joke about how bad Rainbow is at lying, but I'm also 100 percent down for Tank to be a TRANS ICON and I'm debating on actually for the valorverse LMFAO (I.e flutters thought he was a guy at first but realized she sexed him wrong, but Tank doesn't respond to she/her pronouns anyway) WELP I decided since I"m a little bitch and hate negative things that Pippin and Breakneck do eventually reconcile and buddy back up. They still don't end up together but that's okay with them. (at least that's how it is right now my polyshipping ass just might make it an Ot3 cuz I think they're cute together ajklds;ajf;kslajf;as) ITs so weird though BK's like a huge Tsundere and if I actually wrote about him more often he wouldn't come off that way lol and I can see BK and Pippin probably unironically calling each other "Bro" but there's also sexual and romantic tension between them and ajfekla;jfk Characters involved: https://www.deviantart.com/musical-medic/art/Valorverse-Pippin-Lil-Mac-787115604 https://www.deviantart.com/musical-medic/art/Valorverse-Breakneck-Blaze-Reupload-804551186 I hope you enjoy! (I've been in the process of Updating my plug at the end of my posts, it's really REALLY long and I'm gonna shorten it up a bit. So that's why they haven't been in lately)

Posted using PostyBirb

[runninggolden]

Huge Mistake (Part 1/2)

Leonard McCoy x reader

Summary: All it took was one look to realize she was in love with him.

Warnings: Mild swearing and blood

A/N: Hello, hello! This is a reupload from old blog. Hope you enjoy!

-

It started so subtly, she didn’t even notice until it was too late.

All it took was one look. One moment he is simply her friend, seeing the dead body of the person that changed his life, his Captain and best friend, the next he looks up, his usual facade broken to pieces, and a bruised man steps into the light. The eyes that bore into hers hold an indescribable power, millions of feelings and stories swimming in those brown orbs. She got lost in them, seconds turned into breathtaking moments exploring the world inside his mind, climbing mountains of memories and walking through forests of experience. It took one look, filled to the brim with unsaid words and tears threatening to spill, to realize she was in love with him.

But then he looked away, unbelieving, grieving... caught up in despair and she realized; she had made a huge mistake.

-

“Leonard! It’s your favorite patient!” Her call was followed by an exasperated sigh and the screech of a chair. The Med-Bay was quiet that day, only a handful of people littered about and the only sound that could be heard was the air-conditioning whirring above them.

“What did you do this ti-“ Leonard abruptly stopped mid-sentence as soon as he rounded the corner and spotted her standing in the doorway clutching her bloody hand. “My god, what the hell did you do?!” He ran up to her and gently took her hand to examine it. She smiled at him sheepishly.

“Challenged Sulu to a duel… again… we got a little carried off.” She chuckled and he gave her a look. “I promise I’ll be more careful next time!” She winced, both at his stern expression and the pain that shot up her arm when he turned her hand, reminding of the one uncool aspect of swords.

“Why do I not believe you?” He asked with an eye roll as he led her to the nearest med-bed and started to clean the wound. A stray hair rebelled from his neatly combed hair and she couldn’t help but think how adorable he looked.

“’Cause I never stop making stupid decisions.” She winked at him with a grin, successfully drawing another eye roll from him.

“I cannot fathom how someone let you be the Chief Security Officer on this ship.” He said dramatically, only earning another smile from her.

“Obviously someone saw how awesome I am.”

“Obviously!” He repeated sarcastically. She snorted and watched his hands work on the cut Sulu so graciously gave her. She had grown used to ignoring the tingles she got when Leonard touched her. It had been two years since she oh so selfishly realized her feelings for the man, whilst the corpse of her then dead Captain lay on the table by the way, and every day she buried more hidden feelings in the deepest parts of her mind. Lately she felt as if she was running out of space.

Their relationship was simple, really. They’d banter a lot, she’d playfully joke with him and he’d roll his eyes and occasionally, fail to fight a smile. That was why she started talking to him in the first place, she didn’t know why at the time but she wanted to see him smile. So she joked and annoyed him whenever she had the chance and her heart went aflutter with triumph at every smile and every laugh. She loved seeing him happy for a change.

Of course now she knows why; she was deeply, madly in love with the man.

But she never said a word.

Why would she? She had embarrassed herself enough already.

“Did you remember to take your medicine this morning?” He suddenly asked, frowning at the report on his tricorder.

“Uh… yeah! Of course.” She lied. Crap. She totally forgot. He didn’t seem to believe her in the slightest.

“Oh, really?” He arched an eyebrow and stared her down. Usually she could stare back all day with the same stubborn attitude as him, but she got distracted by the feel of his hand still on hers and silently cursed when she felt her face redden. Looking away, she decided to just give in.

“Okay, I forgot.” She mumbled and he threw his hands in the air.

“I swear to god, do I need to physically come to your quarters and shove them down your throat so you’ll remember?” He shook his head at her and she would’ve thought he was furious if it wasn’t for the glint in his eyes. He was used to her by now. Crossing her arms, she looked at him pointedly. His eyebrows inched up as he mimicked her movements.

“I’d like to see you try.” She tried to sound intimidating but couldn‘t fight the smile off her face.

“Oh, I will.” He said, leaning forward, the corners of his mouth twitching. For a moment they simply stared at each other, competing in a wordless game when the sudden clearing of throat prompted them to look up at a grinning Jim.

“Okay, so whenever you guys are done flirting, I need you to go on a mission.” His grin grew wider as the two people in front of him blushed and Leonard took a step back, furrowing his brows and fiddling with his tricorder. She was about to retort when the latter part of Jim’s sentence registered and her heart stuttered for a different reason.

“A mission? I’m in.” She beamed and was about to jump off the bed when a hand stopped her.

“Oh ho, no, you’re not, you’re hurt.” Leonard said, pointing at her arm. She rolled her eyes.

“I’m fine, see?” She flexed her bandaged hand for them to see, it was still painful, but she wasn’t going to mention that. The painkiller Len gave her moments ago should kick in any second.

“It could be challenging and considering you’re still healing, I’m not clearing you. You’re not going.” Leonard‘s tone indicated there was no room for arguments but unluckily for him, she could always argue.

“I’m going.” She whacked his hand away and jumped off the bed.

“You’re not going.” He tried to push her back on her bed but she wouldn’t budge.

“I’m going!” She said with determination. They started staring each other down again, ignoring Jim‘s chuckles beside them.

“Aw look at you two; you’re like an old married couple!” He cooed and successfully made them stop to glare at him.

“Shut up, Jim!” They said simultaneously, making Jim double over with laughter.

“Captain, permission to go on this mission?” She turned to Jim fully, ignoring Leonard‘s attempts to get her to sit down.

“Permission granted.” He nodded as he tried to catch his breath and she turned to Leonard with a triumphant smile.

“See? Captains’ orders.”

“Jim!“ He yelled at the Captain. „Well I say she can‘t, Doctor‘s orders.“

„Which one is more important?“ She stage-whispered to Jim and he opened his mouth to reply when Leonard cut him off.

„Mine.“ Fine, he wants to be stubborn? She‘ll just have to resort to desperate measures. Sighing dramatically, she melted away the tension in her body and pouted at him.

„Len, please? I know you don‘t want me to push myself but I really want to get outside, you know how uncomfortable I can get in here…. Please? It’s not like it’s my dominant hand...“ She gave him her best puppy dog eyes, hoping to god he‘ll just let her go. He looked like he was about to argue, but stopped. Glaring at her for a moment longer, he pinched his nose and let his shoulders drop.

„Fine, but I’m giving you a boost so your skin closes up faster, even though I’m not supposed to, and you have to promise to stay close.” He relented and jabbed a finger at her. She jumped and beamed at him and he visibly softened. “Why do I even try?” He muttered.

“Don’t I always?” She gave his arm a squeeze as a thank you and waggled her eyebrows at his later statement. He shook his head, smiling.

„Wait, that worked?“ Jim suddenly piped up, confused as to what just happened.

„Shut up, Jim.“

-

“It’s mostly deserts, but there are some thick jungles we can’t really get a reading on, we’ll just try to stay clear of them for now, just in case.” Suited up and struggling with an armful of equipment, she listened to Jim drone on about the mission whilst the rest of the team gathered on the transportation pads.

“Just in case?” Leonard froze and she chuckled.

“It’ll be fine, Len, like Jim said, we’ll only be a few hours.” She shot him a grin and he muttered curses under his breath and something that sounded like ‘fine, my ass’ but she couldn’t be sure as the feeling of transportation took over and her feet sunk in sand.

Breathing in the sudden hot air, her eyes immediately strayed to the sky. It was a captivating mix of pink, purple and blue hues. A large, yellow moon hung low on the horizon and she was overwhelmingly glad she got Leonard to stop arguing like a paranoid mule and let her join. She turned around to comment on it when something made her freeze. Instead of her team, she only saw large cacti standing tall around her and spreading in all directions.

She was alone.

Eyebrows scrunching up, she fought the sudden surge of panic as she hastily searched for her comm, ready to ask what the hell was going on, when a voice suddenly piped up from it.

“Landing party has successfully reached its destination.” Jim said and confusion spread through her.

“Uh, sorry to burst your bubble, Jim, but I think I’ve lost you.” She said into the comm, spinning around, trying to catch sight of her team.

“What?” A pause. “Wait, where the hell are you Y/N?!”

“Ah, Captain, something seems to have happened with the transporter that caused Y/L/N to be transported elsewhere.” The distorted voice of Scotty rushed in.

“What do you mean elsewhere? Where is she?” Jim was starting to sound as panicked as she felt. She had a bad feeling in her gut and she couldn’t shake it. She thought she saw movement out of the corner of her eye and swiveled only to be met with another blasted cactus.

“Jim, when you meant forest, where they possibly forests made of cacti?” She huffed and gripped the equipment in her arms tighter. Something was off…. besides the mishap.

“She’s in the forest?! The ‘let’s stay clear of those, just in case’ forests?” Leonard’s voice both soothed her and panicked her even further with its words. Yep, something was definitely off.

“Calm down, Len, I’m sure Scotty can beam me away…. Right, Scotty?” She tried to calm down enough to reassure them both. She would be fine, Scotty would sweep in any second and beam her up. She was met with silence. “Scotty?”

“Ah, eh, no, not exactly, there’s something in there that’s disturbing the process.” He sounded apologetic, but she stopped listening halfway through. She saw movement again, this time right in front of her. Did that… no, did it?

“…something?” Jim asked. At his words, the movement happened again, this time enough to confirm her suspicions. Before she could think, the cactus in front of her literally started slithering towards her.

“Holy-.”

@agent1001m (lovely requester)

[evesbeve]

Little Raindrops - Bruiseshipping (Jay x Cole) One-Shot (Valentine’s Week, Day Seven)

(Reupload)

Welp. This is the finale of my series of One-Shots for Valentine’s Week: Bruiseshipping! I am so excited to post this. I put so much effort into it and it is my favourite One-Shot I wrote for this challenge. I hope you guys like it!

Before we start, I want to say real quick that a part of this was inspired by @garmacondrai‘s headcanon of Cole loving the rain. So thank you for inspiring this one-shot, Bek ^^ The idea was born from your HC, I owe it to you!

Title: Little Raindrops

Pairing: Bruiseshipping (Jay x Cole)

Franchise: Ninjago

Summary: The rain had always helped Cole feel better. However, as a ghost, he was unable to go near his only comfort. He silently stared at it from inside, hoping his heart would stop begging for him to go out. It only took a fuzzy blanket, a warm hug and Jay's sweet smile.

Word count: 3,369

Read this on AO3 and Fanfiction.net!

It’s an endless circle. A case of repeating. When water evaporates, as everyone learnt from a young age, it turns into steam that goes into the air. It rises up high, and as it gets cold, it turns into clouds. And once air can’t hold anymore water, clouds get heavy, and millions of raindrops fall down on the earth, only to repeat the same process. It’s an endless circle, with a beautiful outcome, if you are willing to understand the cycle’s meaning. Some people feel the rain, while others only get wet.

Cole could do neither.

For as long as he could remember, he loved the rain. Ever since he was little, his father would take him out on walks while it rained. They’d play in the puddles and dance together. It was one of the only good childhood memories Cole had. Once his mother passed, his father became distant. He was so persistent, always forcing him to do things he was not interested in. It was as if Cole had lost both of his parents in one day.

The rain meant something to him. There wasn’t a rainy day that Cole hadn’t taken an advantage of. Whenever he’d feel as if he had too much on his chest, he’d sit under the open sky, letting the cold raindrops hit his body. That was, if he were lucky enough for there to be rain.

It really didn’t matter after he and his brothers paid a visit to the Temple of Airjitzu, however. As a ghost, the rain worked as the exact opossite of what it did before: Instead of helping him, it destroyed him. In a literal way. Not being able to touch water affected him in more ways than he had imagined. Obviously, he couldn’t drink it. He couldn’t have long bubble baths and he surely couldn’t train near Nya anymore. But, what hurt him most was that he couldn’t make contact with the rain from then on.

He tried to tell himself that it didn’t matter. The more days went by, however, the more stressful he got. Dealing with his new self, his new powers and feelings called for a way to deal with stress. But since he could no longer rely on food for that, as he was not able to get enough satisfaction from it as a ghost, and could not rely on the rain, he felt desperate.

As far as he could tell, Cole was an introvert. That took talking with someone about his emotions out of the list as well. He tried not to bother his teammates with his problems, causing a conflict to take place inside of him. More or less, he had created another endless cycle. Only that time, it was not a pleasant one.

Cole missed the feeling of the rain on him. He missed feeling his hair slowly getting wet, his clothes becoming soaked with water, and the contact his skin made with it. He was still greatful for being able to look at it though.

That night, he did just that. He made himself as comfortable as he could at the edge of the window and leaned his head against the thick glass. He watched as the rain hit Destiny’s Bounty and ran down the window. He wished nothing more but to go out there but he knew that was out of the question.

“Get a blanket, dum dum.” he jumped as he heard a voice behind him.

He turned around, only to see Jay in his pajamas with a fuzzy blanket in hand. “It’s three in the morning, Jay! Quiet down, you’ll wake the others up!” Cole yelled-whispered.

The boy internally facepalmed himself. “Oops?” he chuckled nervously. “S-Still, take it. It’s super chilly tonight.” he insisted, making his way closer to Cole.

“Ghosts don’t get cold, Jay.” Cole informed him and there was clearly a sign of sadness in his voice.

“O-Oh my…” Jay wanted the earth to shallow him. “Cole, I’m sorry, I’m such a jerk for not thinking about that, I’m so sorry, I should have considered that before I acted, if only I could think for once then it wouldn’t have led to this, now I probably made you feel even more terrible than before, I am the worst friend to ever-”

“T-The blankets may not be able to warm me up but they are still very comfortable!” Cole interrupted him, in an attempt to make him feel better. He couldn’t care less that he couldn’t feel the blankets at that point. All he wanted was to see his friend’s smile again. It broke his heart to see Jay overexaggerating like that, not to mention blaming himself for the situation.

“R-Right.” Jay took a deep breath. “Sorry, for this…” he pointed his gaze at the ground.

Cole tried to put on a smile. “Don’t worry about it.” He just hoped that it was enough to convince Jay that everything was fine.

“Okay.” Jay smiled back, sitting at the opossite side of the window’s edge. The moment his body made contact with it, a chill went up his spine. He didn’t realise it would have been that cold. “Here,” he handed Cole the blanket, hiding his discomfort. The last thing he wanted was to make Cole even more upset, by taking back what he had to offer. “Nice and cozy.”

Cole carefully placed the blanket on top of him. It was a blue, long and fluffy blanket, definitely one of the most comfortable ones in the ship. He burried half his face in it, relaxing as much as he could. It took a moment, but he soon realised to whom this banket belonged to. “Isn’t this your blanket?” he asked, feeling a tickling feeling in his cheeks.

“Yeah, why?” Jay asked.

The feeling became more intense. “... If it’s yours, why are you giving it to me?”

“Because it’s the best one we have, duh! Made by no other than my mom.” Jay smiled widely. “She gave it to me on my 10th birthday!”

Cole shook his head and chuckled. “We’ll see about that.”

“Hey, my mom may be a bit insistent at times but you can’t doubt her sewing skills just like that!” the master of lightning joked.

The silliness Jay showed was one of the things Cole liked most about him. When he made careless jokes like that or when he stuck his tongue out at him playfully, it was all enough to make him drift away from reality. It was at that moment Cole found himself lost once more. Not in the rain, but in Jay.

Although the room was completely dark, with the only souce of light coming from outside - which was limited since the sky was covered with clouds - Cole could see Jay’s eyes shining as he took in the sight of the rain. It was as if everything Cole loved about the rain was being reflected in Jay’s eyes, causing it to spread all over him. And as he studied him like that, Cole noticed something else about Jay.

The boy was as cold as he could have been.

Without thinking much of it, Cole gently threw the blanket on top of Jay. The sudden warm feeling on his body took Jay by surprise. “Why are you-?”

“Jay, your whole body is shaking.”

“So? I brought this for you, it’s not fair for me to take it like that-”

“Don’t be silly. You’re going to catch a cold.” Cole scolded him. Jay looked at Cole with an apologetic look. “It’s okay, really.” he was quick to add. “I’d hate for you to get cold. Your health is more important than my satisfaction.”

Jay didn’t protest to that. For a moment, Cole thought he had persuaded him to keep the blanket. However, the moment he turned around to look outside the window once more, Jay launched himself between his legs, bringing the blanket with him and covering them both up. “Your emotional state is equally important.” he muttered and snuggled on his chest.

It was the first time ever since he had turned into a ghost that Cole felt warmth overfilling him. He couldn’t process what had just happened. When he went to look at the rain, he definitely didn’t expect to end up with Jay cuddling on his lap. Thousands of thoughts were spinning in his head. He tried his best not to romanticize the moment but it was helpless.

Cole wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. He absolutely didn’t want Jay to think he had any ‘weird’ intentions. They were just friends, after all. ‘But what if the reason Jay did what he did is because he, too…’

His head and heart had overheated and were ready to blow up.

“You said that ghosts don’t get cold,” Jay mumbled. “but apparently they can heat up because you are very nice and cozy right now.”

That was it for Cole. That was where his ‘keep it together’ act fell apart. He wanted nothing more but to cover his face with his hands and cuddle into a ball to maintain his cool but he wasn’t able to. Instead, his overwhelming feelings came out in the form of a quiet squeal.

There was no reaction from Jay, at first. A few seconds later, however, the brunet bursted out laughing. “What was that about?”

“S-Shut up…” Cole mumbled. He sighed. “Just shut up, for a second…” Cole wrapped his arms around Jay, allowing him to snuggle on him more easily.

To Cole’s surprise, Jay didn’t try to joke around the situation any longer. “Okay.” was all he said, before he pulled himself closer to Cole, wrapping his arms around him as well.

He looked so tiny in comparison to Cole. The blanket was covering the entirety of Jay’s body, the only visible parts being his eyes and the top of his head. It seemed as if he couldn’t get more comfortable than that.

Same could be said for Cole. He couldn’t remember the last time he been this peaceful. He had been waiting for that moment for so long, and although he knew that they would probably never speak of it again after it was over, he didn’t care. At that moment, he felt better than he ever did in a long amount of time.

Jay, on the other hand, was unsure of how to feel. He had known of Cole’s crush on him. It was very obvious if you paid close attention to some things. When he first found out, he was heart-broken. He felt terrible that he was one of the reasons Cole suffered every day. But Jay couldn’t change his feelings. He was certain his heart beat for Nya.

But as time went by, and the more he thought about it, the more he started to question his own feelings. ‘Why am I feeling so sympathetic around him? Is it pity? It must be.’ He tried his best to believe his own words. It just didn’t make sense to him. He had known Nya and Cole for years. What he saw them as and his feelings couldn’t change just like that, could they?

Jay started wondering if the reason he found comfort in Cole was because he saw him as a replacement of Nya. But that didn’t sound right. How could his best friend be just a replacement? ‘What is he to me, then?’ he constantly asked himself.

Even after months went by, Jay could not determine whether what he felt was real or not. And at that night, he didn’t really know why he did what he did. He told himself it was because he didn’t want to see his best friend be upset. ‘If he likes me that way, then I could make him feel better, couldn’t I? It’s the right thing to do for him! I think…’ He knew, however, that was not the only reason he acted the way he did.

The silence between the two boys remained still. The only sound filling the room was the rain, dripping from the sky and hitting against the wooden floor. It didn’t seem like it would stop any time soon, but at that point, it did not really matter. The two of them were enjoying as much of the moment as they could, knowing it would not last for long. None of them dared to express their concern.

Having his head laid down on Cole’s chest, Jay had another relaxing sound dance in his ears. His heartbeat. If he were honest, he couldn’t decide whether it made him more anxious or calmed him down. On one hand, he was afraid. He was afraid of liking it. He was afraid of seeing - or rather, hearing - how much Cole cared. Jay knew Cole’s heart was beating for him, and that scared him the most.

Then again, his heartbeat was so steady. Jay had started to lose focus on the rain and focus on the beat instead. He counted the seconds, he felt the slight vibration each beat caused. In a way, he felt safe in Cole’s arms. It was the first time he experienced anything like that. The feeling was driving him crazy.

“Jay,” Cole whispered. “are you still awake?”

“Y-Yeah.” Jay jumped slightly in surprise. “A-Are you?” he asked and immediately realised how stupid his question was.

“No, I’m currently asleep, how come you asked?” Cole joked, and Jay could hear a smile in his voice.

“Then I guess you are missing out on these ‘little raindrops’, or however you want to call them.” Jay pouted, clearly embarassed.

Cole chuckled. “Little like your freckles.”

“Oh my god, shut up this instant.” Jay felt his cheeks starting to burn, so in order to cool them down, he buried his face in Cole’s chest even more.

“Says you, whose voice just went up at least five octaves.”

“Hey, you’re supposed to be the ‘singing and dancing’ one!” Jay tried to hide his nervousness behind a joke, like he usually did.

“Maybe.” Cole smiled, closing his eyes for a few seconds. “Say, Jay?”

“W-What?” Jay mumbled, still embarassed from before.

“Why did you… You know.” he took a deep breath. “Hug me? I guess? I can’t really make it sound less awkward than that, heh.”

“Oh, I don’t know, Cole,” Jay saw his words as an opportunity to strike back. “Why do you have a crush on me?”

“That does not have anything to do with-” Cole gasped. “Y-You know about that? I-I mean, wh-what crush? You’re so funny, Jay! Always joking a-and messing around! You make me laugh!”

“You done?”

Cole sighed deeply. “Yeah… Sorry, for this.” he mumbled. “I’m just… It’s complicated.”

“I’m listening.” Jay offered, pulled away from Cole and looked at him in the eyes. He quickly realised how weird that must have sounded. “I-If you want to talk about it, of course. I know this might be weird for you, since it’s me who you’re talking about and all.”

“It’s okay.” Cole sighed once more. “It was… A matter of time, anyway.”

Jay nodded. “Go on.”

“I don’t know when exactly I started to feel that way.” he started. “I know it was after we made up in the tournament of elements. I was so happy we were on good terms after all this time, you know? I was upset to find out that the excitement of our friendship died out. Not because I didn’t want us to be friends, but because it… It changed into something else, Jay. And I don’t know why.”

“Hey,” Jay put his hand on top of Cole’s. “I-It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

“You… Don’t think I’m weird?” Cole shyly asked.

Jay shook his head. “Of course not! It’s not something you can control, after all. When I was head over heels for Nya, it wasn’t something I chose. It just… Happened. Just like what’s happening to you now. So no, I don’t think you’re weird, Cole. You’re my best friend.” he smiled kindly at him.

Nodding, Cole smiled back. “Thanks, Jay. I’m glad you understand.”

“No pro-”

“Wait.” the earth ninja interrupted his friend.

“What’s up?”

“Before, you said ‘When I was head over heels for Nya’, right?”

Jay raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, why?”

“What do you mean ‘when you were’ head over heels for her?”

“Oh!” Jay exclaimed.“N-Nothing! I-It meant nothing!”

Cole shook his head, clearly not convinced. “You’ve always been a terrible liar, you know? You may be able to hide things from Kai or Zane, but not from me.”

The boy beside him scratched the back of his head. “W-Well,” he chuckled nervously, looking down. “L-Let’s just say th-that… You’re really gonna make me say it, aren’t you?”

“What is it?”

“Imayormaynotlikeyoutoo?” Jay blurted as fast as he could.

“What?” Cole tilted his head. “Slow down, motor mouth. Not everyone is lightning fast as you, you kn-”

“I. Like. You.” Once the words escaped Jay’s mouth, he looked outside the window to avoid Cole’s gaze. “There, I said it. Happy?”

Cole didn’t know what to say. He stood still, trying to process the new information he had just obtained. Jay Walker, his best friend, and long-time crush, had just admitted to have a crush on him too. Cole could feel his heart starting to beat faster and that warmth he so much loved came back, overfilling him with joy.

“Y-You serious right now?” Cole needed Jay to confirm it once more. He just couldn’t believe it.

“Yes, I’m serious, now please, stop mentioning it, it’s embarassing!” Jay pouted.

“Oh, so it’s okay for you to ask me about my feelings but when I do it it’s not?” Cole joked, smirking. “Gotcha!”

“Cole!”

“Whaaat?” he pretended to be upset. “I’m just saying the truth.”

“Stop!”

“Fine, fine. But just so you know…” Cole grinned. “You are very adorable when you are embarassed like that.”

Jay felt his soul leave his body. “Cole!” he playfully punched him. He failed to hold back his smile, revealing his delight.

“So you are enjoying this.” the ghost snickered. “A-dorable!” he added, still joking.

“This was supposed to be a relaxing night, I wasn’t planning on confessing any feelings tonight.” Jay mumbled. “But… At the end of the day, I’m… I’m glad I did.”

Jay looked up at Cole, deep into his green eyes. Although he couldn’t see himself, he could tell his reaction was probably similar to Cole’s. Shy gaze, flushed cheeks, dork smile. It was just like them.

Cole cleared his throat, breaking eye contact. “S-So… What now?”

“Well shit, Cole, I don’t know.” Jay bit his lip. “What… What should we do?”

“You’re the relationship expertise here.”

“My last relationship failed because you stepped in.” Jay reminded him.

“To be fair, it wasn’t my fault that Nya-”

“I meant,” Jay interrupted. “For making me fall for you instead.”

Cole couldn’t believe how sweet Jay was. His words were tickling Cole’s ears, finding their way inside of his body and wrapping his heart into a tight embrace. His heartbeat picked up, leaving Cole speechless. If he was able to cry, he would. But as a ghost, that was impossible.

“Too soon?” Jay asked, giggling nervously. “Sorry-”

“Just stop apologising and give me a hug.”

He didn’t have to ask twice. Jay leaned in, wrapping his arms around his ghost friend - or whatever he was to him at that point. Cole returned the hug, pulling him closer to him protectively. It was not the first time they had hugged that night, but at that moment, the hug meant much more to both of them. It was a way of expressing their admiration for one another.

Since they were sitting down, they were not able to hug for long. However, Jay made sure to return to his original position, resting his head on Cole’s chest.

“What did I do to deserve you?” Cole quitely asked as he covered them up with the blanket again.

“I don’t know.” Jay admitted, closing his eyes and making himself comfortable. “But I don’t care either. I’m just glad that… You know.”

“We’re together?” Cole suggested.

“Yeah.” Jay smiled. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”