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themoonweaversden · 3 months ago

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Messeges that were found so far: STOD EHT TCENNOC (spoilers)

This is just to collect all the codes that you can type in in thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com and their effects only (please click images for better quality)

I am so sorry if the transcripts in these are't the best, it's A LOT and my mind doesn't understand what's writing anymore

Masterpost with all messeges / codes

Transcript:

"LESSER KNOWN AMERICAN CULTS

Have you ever heard of Orchard Lake, Kansas? Chances are you haven’t. It was erased from every map, book, and historical record, and the US Government’s official position on it is “stop calling us or we’ll send a drone to your house.” (I learned this the hard way.) But if you drive to the exact latitude and longitude of [REDACTED] you’ll see bullet casings, faded billboards, and bow ties strewn across the desert sands.

That’s because Orchard Lake had another name before it was wiped off the record: BillVille.

CHAPTER 3: BillVille The First Cult In History That Was Right

[image]

FIG A: A tumbillweed

As a historian of esoteric religions, I thought I’d discovered the strangest sects America had yet to offer (see “Chapter 3: Kevin’s Gate”) but that all changed when I found the following items tucked away in an old trunk in an estate sale on the outskirts of Bootstrap, Missouri."

Transcript:

"LESSER KNOWN AMERICAN CULTS

"3/24/1957

Mother, I have the most wonderful news! Remember when you said I should stop being “such a follower” and finally think for myself? Well—turns out you were right! I’ve decided to stop following Elvis’ tour bus from state to state and instead I’ve made the exciting life decision to sell all my possessions to buy a one-way ticket to [REDACTED] and marry 138 of my new best friends! We’ve discovered the eternal secrets of the Universe, and golly it feels keen! For the first time in my life, I am happy!

Remember reality is an illusion, the Universe is a hologram, buy gold, and bye forever!

Your daughter, Shelter Martha Jones Starshine Cipherwife

P.S. You’ve just gotta check out this neato pamphlet!"

FIG B: Letter and pamphlet advertising “Ciphertology.” Was found along with pins, buttons, ephemera. Smells like formaldehyde."

Transcript:

"LESSER KNOWN AMERICAN CULTS

After reading this pamphlet, I became obsessed. Who were the Ciphertologists?

It seems in 1952 a failed travelling snake oil salesman “Silas Birchtree” was hiding from creditors when he choked on a coin he was flipping and died. Then, remarkably, the next day, he was seen alive. His posture, his smile, the pallor of his skin had all changed. It was as if another man entirely was wearing Silas like a suit. Whatever caused this transformation, the new Silas hit Orchard Lake, Kansas like a comet.

[TRANSCRIPT, FIRST AUDIO RECORDING FOUND OF SILAS BIRCHTREE GIVING A SPEECH IN THE TOWN SQUARE OF ORCHARD LAKE, KANSAS]

“Say, folks, gather round, thank you ma’am, spit out that gum, junior. My names Silas Birchtree, and I was just passing through when I noticed a very pressing problem: This town only has three wells! Well, well, well, that won’t hold water! (townsfolk laugh) But seriously plasma bags, if you’re dim enough to laugh at that tripe then you’re going to love what I’m about to shove down your throats: The secrets of the universe! I may look like an meat automoton but I was recently granted otherworldly insight into the nature of reality by an all-seeing eye named Bill Cipher. You have primal needs for chaos that are being repressed! Destroying is a form of creating! Assert your will in defiance of entropy! Punch through the throats of your oppressors and baptize yourself in their blood! Doesn’t that sound swell? Yes I said swell, and that rhymes with L, and that stands for “Let me Marry All Your Wives!”

-Silas Birchtree, 1952

It didn’t seem to matter what Silas said, folks were mesmerized by his rambling stream of consciousness diatribes. It wasn’t long before he became local news."

Treanscript:

"THE ORCHARD LAKE CORNHUSK "A suitable distraction from your toils." June 18, 1952 | 5 CENTS

CULT COMES TO TOWN Fans of Cults Pleased, Cult Skeptics Skeptical

Two things are on the rise this week in Orchard Lake! The sweet, sweet corn-bread cooling in Mrs. Butternubbins windowsill, and the terrifying cult that threatens to tear our town asunder. And asunder is one of the worst things you can be torn! Springing forth seemingly overnight, these bow-tie wearing brainwashees call themselves the Ciphertologists, and they answer to one man, the charismatic and extremely jaundiced Silas BirchTree. Town sentiment is divided as to whether this new religion can be trusted, but all agree this seems to be the most significant event in our town since a bat fell in the deep fryer at the waffle house. We spoke to townsfolk to gauge the local sentiment.

...WHAT THE PEOPLE SAY...

Darla Laudanum, Housewife: "Well, I don’t see what the big fuss is! Everyone’s entitled to their opinions, and Silas is no different. Why, I remember when everyone was worried that “Hula Hoops” were going to turn our children into Communists. But we only had to report 3 children!"

Gus Gunderson, Painter: "I ‘spose he’s got a funny way of talkin’, shore ‘nuff, but he promised me I’d live forever on my own moon, which beats my current job at the paint store. He also said he’d teach me to explode people with my mind. My mother ‘n law had better watch out!"

Madeline Dixon, Teenager: "He’s fine, I guess. It’s not like I replaced the picture of James Dean in my locket with him or anything. What? No you can’t look inside the locket, this is a personal locket!"

Emmaline Butternubbins, Spoilsport: "I’m telling you! He’s a human corpse puppeteered by a space triangle and he’s come to build an unholy astral pyramid from mortal realm beyond mortal understanding! Gather up your swords and arrows, let us slay the beast in mans form before he slays us!"

Can You "Dig It?" Hey Daddio! Are you hoppin mad about the piles of youth that are buckling your Chevy’s pad to the winner? Dig this jive! A keen new shovel that all the hep cats are using to flip those big Ricks right out of the sock hop! Man, you know what it is called!

“HIPPADDY RENZADDY’S SUPER-KEENHOOT SCOOP!”

It’s me, “Hip Daddy” Renzaddy! 50 years ago my great grandpappy Renzaddy toppled a pile of stones to death to avenge his death! The eternal war on man’s sin rages on!

5 CENTS OFF!

Teen Accused of "Rocking Around the Clock," Faces Trial ... (PG 3) Joseph McCarthy Arrests Suspicious Pez Dispenser (PG 5)"

Trascript:

"PAGE 2 THE ORCHARD LAKE CORNHUSK, JUNE 18, 1952 INTERVIEW WITH A PROPHET

Our lead reporter Welton Danforth sat down with the enigmatic leader to gain some insight into his holy mission. When they sat down to speak, the controversial religious leader was staring at his hands laughing as he wiggled his fingers.

Silas: Fingers! Wow, there’s just so many of these things! How do you keep track? Hey could someone get me a swig of formaldehyde?

Welton: Good evening. I have never seen a man open his eyes as wide as yours before. What exactly is going on with your face?

Silas: My face is normal! Next question!

Welton: (laughing) Well there’s that charm I’ve heard so much about. Move over, Johnny Carson! Tell me, how do you respond to accusations that the Ciphertologists are a cult?

Silas: Yes!

Welton: So you don’t deny it?

Silas: Look slick, everyone believes in something they can’t prove. Football players believe in “points.” Cops believe in “laws.” Priests believe in “sin.” But show me a law, a point, a sin. You can’t, they’re just ideas. So if you’re going to follow something invisible, why not follow the invisible Triangle that will give you your own planet and crush your enemies into a small screaming cube.

Welton: You’re awfully quick with a turn of phrase, but many others with silver tongues have claimed to be the messiah. What makes you any different?

Silas: Fair point! You know, you’re very perceptive. Has your wife told you that lately?

Welton: (pause) No. No… Janet has not. We are… going through a rough patch.

Silas: Must be hard. All those long nights on the couch, wondering what went wrong.

Welton: Yes… but, how did you know all that?

Silas: I know lots of things, Jack! And I know that when you die at 72 from a goose crashing into your head on a roller coaster, your last thought is gonna be that you wasted your life interviewing hick farmers instead of becoming that great novelist you always dreamed of being! That unfinished novel in your desk drawer…

Welton: …The Reporter Who Went To Mars?

Silas: It could be the greatest book of all time. But you’ll need someone to help you reach your full potential. I think I know a guy! By the way, I’ll need 1,000 dollars immediately.

Welton: Can I give you my watch as a down payment?

Silas: Fine, but only because I like you. Anyway, where were we? Oh right! I was interviewing you. Tell me, how long have you been a Ciphertologist?

Welton: Well, I suppose as of 5 seconds ago, but it already feels like much longer, Mr. Birchtree.

Silas: Please, call me “My Lord And Master.”

Welton: Yes, My Lord and Master. Do you have anything else to add before you go?

Silas: Only this, and I mean it sincerely: HAHAHA-HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA (cont’d)"

Transcript:

"LESSER KNOWN AMERICAN CULTS

[2 images]

Within a month, The Ciphertologists had taken City Hall, renamed Orchard Lake "BillVille" and began stockpiling weapons, human teeth, and multi-colored ball-pit balls from burger restaurants. Townsfolk began shaving their heads and inhaling helium to match the pitch of their leader's shrill charismatic voice, and would participate in "Dream-Ins" inviting Silas's muse "Bill Cipher" to "possess" of up to 30 of them at once, at which point they would often laugh in unison for hours. Construction began of the "Very Normal Giant Metal Portal" in the desert. Travel was banned coming in and out, even for medical emergencies since, as Silas explained, "pain is hilarious!" They began to expand, knocking on doors to spread "The Bad News."

[image]

FIG C: It was pretty easy to spot a Ciphertologist. Can you see what makes them stand out? That's right - their enthusiastic smiles!

[image]

FIG D: The "Golden Bastard" apple, grown only by Ciphertologists, reportedly "screamed" when you ate it."

Transcript: (this one is really weird to trascribe, so sorry if it's difficult to understand)

"THERE’S ONE “EYE” IN TEAM! Can you find it?

In Ciphertology, we encourage you to express your individuality, just like Silas does! That means strict conformity to his exact wardrobe, or else being sent to “The Hole.” You won’t like the hole!

KEEP AN EYE OPEN!

SHAVE A SPOT FOR BILL TO ENTER!

POSTURE

TUCK YOUR SHIRT IN! Order is a Trojan horse for chaos!

GREASE YOUR SHOES! Are you done? ADD MORE GREASE! And MORE!

(Image of two people in matching outfits doing Ciphertologist poses)

Pocket full of yummy glass!

Not pictured - The hot brand we will sear into your flesh. Which part of your body will we brand? It’s weirder than you think!

Did you know?: Therapy is a scam to keep you from the truth. Lean into your natural born mental illness to unlock your true potential!

GO DOOR TO DOOR! SPREAD THE JOY LIKE A DISEASE!

Follow this script to convert the non-billievers!

Hi! Do you have one minute to talk about the triangle who lives in your brain and has seen you naked? . YES → GOOD! The old gods are dead, and BILL ATE THEM! Dig it? . NO → Stare at them until they start crying.

Are you ready to accept him into your mind? . YES → (Continue script) . NO → Eat one of your own fingers in front of them. Don’t break eye contact.

Raise your arms and shriek a perfect E note in the 8th octave at 5,243 Hz. Their skull will shatter. Like a wine glass!

Great! Your new name is: ________________(SEE GUIDE TO CHOOSING CIPHERTOLOGY NAME PG 6) What size robe are you? __________________SEE YOU AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE! (Do Cipher Handshake, devour pamphlet, crawl away upside down)

WEIRDMEGEDDON IS COMING. WEIRDMEGEDDON IS COMING. WEIRDMEGEDDON IS COMING.

CIPHERTOLIGIST'S GUIDE TO DELIGHTSOMENESS, 1952"

Transcript:

"LESSER KNOWN AMERICAN CULTS

[image]

ABOVE: The Ciphertology “Brain Seismograph” or “BS” Meter had dials for “gullibility,” “financial liquidity,” “celebrity influence,” “herbs,” and “spices.”

The cult surged in popularity and influence. Silas’s motto “embrace today as if your town is going to be hit by a tornado in exactly 3 & a half years!” was infectious, and he immediately ended all crime by declaring that “everything is legal now!”

[image]

Soon the only unconverted local was unmarried town nag Emmaline Butternubbins. She was convinced there was something “not right” about the mysterious megalomaniacal cult leader. Her protests escalated to her distributing these home-made warning pamphlets to very annoyed children.

[image]

“Most people rejected Emmaline’s message. They hated her because she told the truth” —Emmaline, to her cat Bonbon."

Transcript:

"LESSER KNOWN AMERICAN CULTS

Conflict became inevitable. When Silas hijacked a local TV station to read an “erotic tale of two trapezoids,” Elk Glen filed a complaint with the FCC. Cipherologists retaliated by pouring 600 gallons of bubble solution in their drinking water. Soon the law became involved.

“Blrbl bll Tbllbl Ciphertobblblblblb” - Hurk Durnsley, Oak Glen City Council

The Cipherologists were ordered to return City Hall, dismantle the “Portal” they were building out of scrap metal and car parts, or face the full force of the Kansas State Troopers. The standoff lasted 13 days, with Silas and his die hard followers holed up in a waffle house chanting “TEETH” over and over again for reasons unknown. Silas was becoming increasingly agitated and erratic, blocking all radio and TV signals into town and ordering his followers to hurry construction of his mysterious metallic project. His body was also looking increasingly pale and desiccated, which he ascribed to his “fantastic diet” of eating nothing but “solid chunks of chlorine and ants.”

BILLVILLE DAILY NEWS June Billeteeth, Billtee-Fifty-Bill PORTAL NEARLY COMPLETE EVERYONE THRILLED, EVEN THE GOVERNMENT! (DO NOT TURN ON YOUR TELEVISION)"

Transcript:

"Finally Emmaline Butternubbins, enraged that no one liked her pamphlets, hurled a torch into the CipherTologists HQ, igniting the helium tanks, blasting out the windows and destroying Silas’s machine. Troopers opened fire as Silas’s followers held hands and began singing “WE’LL MEET AGAIN” in defiance. Silas, riddled with bullet holes, grabbed a megaphone, leapt atop the inferno, grinning wildly as he was engulfed in flame.

“YOU CAN’T KILL A MAN WHO’S ALREADY DEAD! IF YOU TAKE ME DOWN, I’LL BE BACK, MORE POWERFUL AND MORE ANNOYING THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE! REMMEBER- REALITY-”

At this point, Silas Birch Tree’s head fell off, flies swarmed from his mouth and he collapsed into a grey husk. A coroner declared Silas BirchTree dead for a second time. Black helicopters evacuated the site and the city was erased from all official records. Mrs Butternubbins was awarded the Medal of Honor, which she used as an ashtray.

On the Lighter Side “QUIRKY NEWS!” CULT DISBANDED, 9 DEAD Slow news day? Well we gotta fill these pages somehow! In an oddball story that’s definitely out there a remote Orchard Lake’s homespun cult committed a laundry list of heinous crimes. Trashed walls, buildings, and tank-wielding federal agents stormed the “Cipherologists” headquarters. The panic escalated as the “Cipherologists” leader offered everyone a bag of candy and destroyed the stockade on a rented lemon- but just gave everyone you love from the ability to express their emotions. We are out of terrible diarrhea. It is unclear if this was his intention or not. We are out of things to say in this piece, no one really cares what happens in Kansas."

Transcript:

"ONLY KNOWN PHOTO OF SILAS'S BODY, 1952"

Transcript: "LESSER KNOWN AMERICAN CULTS

Although BillVille has faded into urban legend, hidden remnants remain for those who know where to look. It is even said that there are straggling members out there, still holding out hope for Silas’s return.

(RIGHT: IRONIC T-SHIRT SOLD ONLINE)

In cults, this is a common phenomenon. Human beings are so hungry for a confident voice to guide them in an uncertain world, that they’ll follow anyone, even a madman, wherever he goes. Usually off a cliff.

But there was something different about Silas Birchtree. The more I research, the more of his predictions I’ve seen coming true. Recently I was going through old records when I found Silas’s final words, tucked away in a lost letter he wrote before the standoff, a message unseen until now.

His message was:

“At least this will make a fun chapter of your book, Donna!”

My name is Donna Rutherford. Yesterday, I was a Lutheran. As of today, I am a Ciphertologist.

[CODE]"

Code decoded: "YOUCANTKILLANIDEA"

#bill cipher #book of bill #gravity falls #thisisnotawebsitedotcom

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teamthunderdome · 6 months ago

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TEAM THUNDERDOME.

TWO TEAMS ENTER. TUMBLR VOTES. ONE TEAM LEAVES. TRIAL BY COMBAT. TO THE DEATH. VICTORY OR SOVNGARDE.

The Rules:

Fights will occur over the course of ONE WEEK, quarter 1 begins JUNE 1ST, 2024 at 12:00 AM MIDNIGHT EDT (UTC-04:00).

Multiple fights happen across one week.

ONLY 3 to 4 team members per team. 2 is too few, 5 is almost cheating. If a team has more than 4 members, some will have to wait in the stands (looking at you, Scooby-Doo and Tally Hall).

Tumblr poll will determine the winner of an individual fight via emotional support and gracious cookie donations.

Majority Wins. Whether or not a team would canonically win or lose the fight does not matter, only the number of votes.

Single Elimination.

Outside of the rules listed above, anything goes. Reblog a fight to get your friends on your side.

Propaganda is fair game. If you know perhaps a little too much about one of the teams and want to explain why your team should win, please submit an in-depth propaganda post to the blog homepage.

Spread the word! Your favorite might win! (Or not! I just run this thing!)

Lasko Wind Machine

All 64 Teams Competing (In random order - will NOT reflect the final bracket):

Team WINCHESTER (Sam, Dean, Castiel, Crowley)

Team FORTRESS (Heavy, Medic, Engineer, Soldier)

Team AIONIOS (Noah, Lanz, Eunie, Riku)

Team GONDOR (Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Gandalf)

Team TWILIGHT (Jacob, Edward, Bella)

Team STAR WARS (Han, Luke, Leia, Chewbacca)

Team NARUTO (Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura)

Team SHREK (Shrek, Fiona, Donkey, Puss In Boots) (As portrayed at the end of Shrek 2)

Team OF LIGHT (Jonathan Harker, Jack Seward, Quincey Morris, Abraham Van Helsing)

Team PERSONA (Makoto Yuki, Kotone Shiomi, Yu Narukami, Ren Mamamiya)

Team HOMESTUCK (John, Jade, Rose, Dave)

Team MUSKETEERS (Athos, Porthos, Aramis, D'Artagnan)

Team HERCULES (Hercules, Iolaus, Salmoneus, Autolycus) (The Legendary Journeys, Hercules as portrayed by Kevin Sorbo)

Team PUYO PUYO (Ringo, Arle, Amitie, Lemres)

Team BAKUGO (Bakugo, Mina, Denki, Eijirou)

Team WIGGLES (Jeff, Anthony, Murray, Greg) (as originally formed)

Team GRYFFINDOR (Harry, Ron, Hermione)

Team COOL RUNNINGS (Derice Bannock, Junior Bevil, Sanka Coffie, Yul Brenner)

Team AEGIS (Rex, Pyra, Mythra) (all other party members excluded due to Blades and their pesky "friendships" binding them to their users)

Team RHYTHM THIEF (Raphael, Fondue, Marie, Charlie) (what a cute doggy :3)

Team MYSTERY INC (Fred, Shaggy, Velma, Daphne) (sorry no pets allowed)

Team DEKU (Izuku, Tsuyu, Ochako, Shouto)

Team KRISPIES (Snap, Crackle, Pop)

Team ELITE BEAT (Agent Spin, Agent J, Agent Chieftain, Agent Starr)

Team JIGSAW (Kramer, Young, Hoffman, Gordon)

Team UMIZOOMI (Milli, Geo, Bot)

Team TRIFORCE (Link, Zelda, Groose) (Skyward Sword variants)

Team LAYTON (Layton, Luke, Emmy) (Pre-Azran Legacy)

Team SONIC (Sonic, Knuckles, Tails)

Team ASKR (Alfonse, Anna, Sharena)

Team TARDIS (The Doctor, Amy, Rory, River)

Team WOOHP (Sam, Alex, Clover)

Team KEYBLADE (Sora, Donald, Goofy)

Team 1908 THOMAS FLYER (Montague Roberts, George Schuster, Hans Hendrik Hansen, George MacAdam)

Team BIONIS (Shulk, Reyn, Dunban, Sharla)

Team DARK (Shadow, Rouge, Omega) (Ultimate Life Form status tenuous)

Team OOO (Finn, Jake, Princess Bubblegum, BMO)

Team TALLY HALL (Rob, Zubin, Andrew, Joe) (Ross excluded - he's just a drummer)

Team DOODLEBOPS (Deedee, Rooney, Moe)

Team SCIENCE (Gordon, Tommy, Bubby, Dr. Coomer)

Team POWERPUFF (Blossom, Buttercup, Bubbles)

Team INCONCEIVABLE (Inigo, Fezzik, Vizzini)

Team METROCITY (Megamind, Metro Man, Roxanne, Minion)

Team WONDER PETS (Linny, Tuck, Ming Ming)

Team REGULAR (Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man, Skips)

Team PILLAR MEN (Santana, Wham, ACDC, Kars) (Ultimate Life Form status tenuous)

Team BEATLES (John, Paul, George, Ringo)

Team SMILING FRIENDS (Pim, Charlie, Glep, Alan)

Team ROTTEN (Robbie, Tobby, Bobby, Flobby) (Ultimate Life Form status confirmed)

Team KRUSTY KRAB (SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs)

Team VOCALOID (Hatsune Miku, Kagamine Len, Kagamine Rin)

Team GARFIELD (Garfield, Jon, Odie, Liz)

Team POOH (Pooh, Piglet, Eeyore, Christopher Robin)

Team AVALANCHE (Cloud, Tifa, Aerith, Barret)

Team LOONEY (Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Michael Jordan)

Team GHOSTS (Blinky, Pinky, Inky, Clyde) (freshly dead)

Team ROCKMAN (Rock, Roll, Blues, Bass)

Team MARIO (Mario, Luigi, Wario, Waluigi)

Team WRIGHT (Phoenix, Apollo, Athena, Trucy) (as seen in Dual Destinies)

Team SHERLOCK (Sherlock, John, Mycroft) (Brigandorf Crimplesnart's depiction of Sherlock)

Team MASH (Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, BJ Hunnicutt, Charles Emerson Winchester III)

Team RWBY (Ruby, Weiss, Yang, Blake)

Team CHANNEL 5 (Ulala, Space Michael, Jaguar, Pudding)

Team FANBOY (Fanboy, Chum Chum, Kyle)

GOOD LUCK!!!

(you're gonna need it)

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princemick · 2 years ago

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MICKLORE for dummies

here;s part 1 with his racing history

because over roc weekend people seemed to have gotten to know him a lot better so here's a bunch more of mick info that I deem as essential

so under the tab I will add a bunch of stuff that kinda break trough that introverted pr trained wall he has.

this will be broken into facts, quotes, moments and videos.

--enjoy--

Mickfacts:

he speaks, english, german, french and italian but beraly speaks italian and french because he doesnt feel comfortable enough with them

the f-2002 is his favorite of his dads cars

during a lot of 2022's off season he has been dirt racing in the states where he bascially races for as long as the car runs together with gina's bf (x) (x)

apperantly recognizes the italian anthem before the german

can't choose himself for a dream team so his dream team is michael and seb

couldnt choose between lewis and max in 2021 "because theyre both nice to me"

he used to play drums as a kid

his middle name is 'junior'

he is named after Mick Doohan (5x mtotogp champ) who used to live close to Michael who were really good friends and so him and Jack Doohan (f2 driver) have always been and are still close friends.

apperantly introduced himself to kevin when he got back to haas with 'suck my balls'

modified said off road buddy that he does mud racing with so it goes quicker then intended

he seems to have extra clothes with him at all times bc he borrowed an extra pair of pants and shirt to callum for their f2 podium celebration

his dad wanted him to study engineering (also interesting piece of related information: he said he would have become a biologist if not an f1 driver in this video)

he refers to his dog angie as his best friend

in F3 he won 5 races in a row. race 22 til 26 of the 2018 season.

he started doing champions for charity where he organizes a football match every year with a bunch of german sports players

mick denies it but this man has bleached his hair

Mickquotes:

"a bomb, a knife, a serial killer. I mean that comes all together so.."

"I mean if poeple ask me if I'm mick I usualy just say no. I learned that from my dad."

"can I eat this?" procedes to eat it

"you guys are gonna do pushuupss"

"can I go and pet it?? play fetch??"

"those cars are so shit"

"deutsche, german..WHA??"

"you sure??"

"my dad, my dad, my dad, my dad"

"I just wanna get to my dad"

"beep beep beep"

"I won f2 and f3 for a reason"

"you guys are fucking brilliant, FUCKING BRILLIANT! fucking hell- sorry for all the swearing guys"

"I have a problem with italian bread tbh"

"PTW man, PTW" (pwt means prove them wrong)

"so you have to be smooth, realise that its an old lady and treat it that way, take it easy and enjoy the ride"

"hmm, have you ever driven on the road blindfolded?"

"ah, I was fine" after crashing

"I'm glad it was you I was fighting against"

Mickvideos:

prema stranger things - where he bascially just shouts his ideas and is loudly jock and himbo coded

The 5 Second Challenge - him having to really quickly talk and think shows how he thinks really well aka himbo

The Taboo Challenge - where he has to explain something without using specific words

Seb And Mick Take On The Formula 1 Tower Challenge! - where Seb and Mick ask eachother questions as they play mega jenga

Mick and Dan at the 2021 russian gp presser - just wholesome

Mick and Sean cook pizza together - him being wholesome and happy and speaking italian

Prema Trivia Challenge - giving ultimate himbo rights

him hugging every haas mechanic after his last race w them

mick post Q2 in Canada

the groundhog video

Some minutes with Cyrus Watches: Mick Schumacher

The Texas Red Hot Sauce Challenge - shows his relationship with gary (his old race engineer) really well

Guess the Flavour: Japanese KitKat Taste Test - shows how weird mick is sometimes

Map The Track - himbo.

Mick celebrates with the team after first F1 points - hes so beloved

Gina and Crorinna's congrats after his first points

okay there's much much more, if you wanna get more into it I reccomend watching more of his prema and haas videos and just keep updated with him over his time at mercedes

dont be afraid to send me asks with questions or anyting!

and special thank you to 2/3 of the pillars of mickblr @acrosstobear and @schumaclerc for helping me out w some micklore and @stoffelvandoornegf for this post

#listen...I cud go on #im nt gonna #micklore #mick schumacher

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foxufortunes · 4 months ago

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WIP Wednesday - Paint Me

So, there was a lot of Raven!Neil around fandom recently, like we're talking lots about it and suddenly all the fics are updating, so I thought today's WIP Wednesday I'd share something from my take on the Raven!Neil heads to the Foxes au. Although this is less a WIP and more the deleted prologue where I ran with the Andrew and Jeremy met in juvie theories and also went "what do you mean Andrew was the first to reject the Ravens? We didn't even ask Jeremy?" So, it's the Ravens try to recruit Jeremy prologue based on the Kevin trying to recruit Andrew scene from the EC. Also, Kevin and Jeremy, enemies to... whatever Kevin and Jeremy are? I'm here for total asshole teen Jeremy and his character arc to be Captain Sunshine.

“Was that really what we came all this way down here for?”

It’s amazing Kevin’s fury is heard over all the chaos of the locker room, but he is Kevin Day, seventeen years old and full of bluster and righteous fury, so he will be heard. Nathaniel Wesninski doesn’t exactly blame him. This one – two? – was Kevin’s pick and that display during practice was abysmal. An insult to the game of exy and Kevin’s precious mother Kayleigh. Lazy, cheeky, foul play and more time spent gossiping than actually doing drills. How is this the best high school exy team in California? One of the best in the US? It’s made all the more baffling and infuriating by the fact that Nathaniel has watched them play actual games – it’s nothing like the practice they just saw.

While Nathaniel hangs back with the adoring crowd of St Cecilia’s Nightingales with his king, Riko Moriyama, Kevin has shoved his way to one of the lockers where their potential new Raven is slumped, grinning up at him. A potential Raven. What an insult. There are those chosen to be Ravens, and those not. The Master sent out a contract and you were honoured to sign it and fill out the forms. You did not send the forms back with a neon pink sticky note on top and a cheery NO THANK YOU! scrawled on it. No one said no. No one turned down the Ravens. No one ever had. So, of course, Kevin had stormed across the country from West Virginia to California, and Nathaniel and Riko had followed, to see exactly what the problem was.

The problem, Nathaniel decided within five seconds of being here, is that Jeremy Knox is obnoxious. Ob-Knox-ious, if you will.

“I’m sorry,” Knox says, his grin brilliant and wide as he sways his racquet from hand to hand between his spread, stretched out legs, “but I did tell you I wasn’t interested. You could have saved yourself so much disappointment if you’d listened when I told you that, you know.”

“We came to talk to you about your stupidity,” Kevin snaps.

Knox blinks at him several times, as if surprised by this. Then he laughs, light and airy. “My stupidity?”

“Yes. Your stupidity is causing me a lot of hassle and I’d appreciate it if you’d see sense sooner rather than later so we can all stop wasting our time.”

Next to Knox, the Nightingales' sophomore goalkeeper reaches over and fans Knox’s face with his gloved hand. “You need a second to recover from that, captain?”

“I do,” Knox laughs, miming fainting back against his locker. “I haven’t felt this shamed since dinner last night.” Kevin opens his mouth to rage at him further but Knox holds up a finger. “A second to recover, Day, weren’t you listening?”

Rumour has it, the Nightingales have a prodigy of a goalkeeper amongst them. According to local legend, the best goalkeeper in high school exy, probably already playing at an NCAA worthy level. Even allowing for exaggerations, that’s a goalkeeper worth the Ravens’ attention. It’s enough that the Master had sent them with a second contract, to get a pre-emptive signature if they find something worth their time. However, St Cecilia's Nightingales have three goalkeepers, two juniors and a sophomore, and all three of them were useless. The sophomore is the one beside Knox, as he had been all practice. A little thing, probably Nathaniel’s size, although wider, with pale blond hair and a freckled face. While the juniors were simply useless, the sophomore goalie had spent most of his practice actually sitting in goal chatting with Knox, letting balls fly past him. Nathaniel has no idea how the coach allowed it.

A metallic slam jolts Nathaniel from his thoughts about the little goalie. Kevin’s hand has slammed to the locker just a fraction of a hair from Knox’s head. The locker room has gone quiet and Riko has straightened up from where he was leaning. Nathaniel knows why, of course. The way Riko looks at Kevin in moments like this isn’t subtle – dark, hooded eyes and his easy smile replaced with something sharper and hungrier.

Knox turns his head, his smile having disappeared as he considers Kevin’s hand, then turns back to his face. They stare at each other for a moment, before Knox turns to his goalkeeper friend.

“Do you think he’s flirting with me?”

“I was getting that vibe.”

Kevin jerks back like he’s been burned. Knox turns back to him with a boyish grin, like he’s got exactly what he wanted out of the interaction. It takes a moment of Kevin grinding his teeth and working his jaw before he recalibrates and launches into another lecture.

“You should be ashamed of the way you played tonight. You are captain of an incredible team, and yet you act like you have time to sit around and gossip rather than perfect your game. I refuse to take you back with us if there’s even a risk that you’re going to play games like you practiced tonight. You have no place on the Ravens’ lineup if you’re not willing to constantly strive to be the best.”

Knox laughs, loud and obnoxious. Beside him, the goalkeeper’s blank face moves ever so slightly, the corners of his lips twitching up and the corners of his eyes crinkling. After a moment of laughter, and Kevin fuming over it, Knox grins up at him and taps his middle finger to his left cheekbone.

“Then I suppose you have no place on the Ravens’ lineup either.”

Nathaniel’s nails dig into the flesh of his palms. How dare he? To be marked for Riko’s Perfect Court is an honour! Kevin being second to Riko is nothing to be ashamed of. Just like Nathaniel’s 3 is nothing that makes him ashamed. He is the best backliner in the game, but he knows that he can’t compare to Riko or Kevin. Kevin is the best supporting striker, while Riko s a lead striker. If Knox can’t understand that, he doesn’t deserve to wear Raven black.

He opens his mouth to say as much, only to stop. The words catch in his throat. Suddenly, he understands what’s wrong with this scene. While most of the Nightingales are taking their time changing out, they have put their racquets away and are slowly stripping off their armour and shoes. Knox isn’t, but that could be explained by him talking with Kevin. But, the goalkeeper isn’t changing either.

“You’re going out to play again,” he says dumbly.

Riko and Kevin both jerk to stare at him. It’s the only reason he can think of for Jeremy and his goalkeeper to still be dressed for court, with their racquets and helmets still with them. They’re going back onto court once everyone’s gone.

“We are,” Knox says and stands up. “We’d be out there now, but you’re here taking up time.”

Kevin clenches his jaw, clenched fists shaking. “Why? Why would someone as good as you, with so much potential as you, refuse to live up to what you could really be? You clearly care, so why refuse us.”

“It’s quite simple,” Knox says, meeting Kevin’s eyes. He’s a good handful of inches smaller, but he stares Kevin down like he’s an equal. That will have to be dealt with when they get him to the Nest. “I don’t think I’ll enjoy playing with you.”

Kevin’s entire body goes slack. “What?”

“You wouldn’t enjoy winning?” Riko says.

Knox looks between the three of them, then sighs. “Is that all you think exy is?”

“What else is there?” Nathaniel says.

“How sad,” Knox says softly. Then he looks back at Kevin. “Come play with us. Let’s see if we can find an understanding. Perhaps you can convince me you Ravens are worth my time.”

That they’re worth Knox’s time?!

They should refuse out of principle. Knox is clearly an arrogant son of a bitch who needs to be knocked down, crushed in the mud and taught his proper place in the world before he can be built back up as Riko and Kevin’s back up.

“Fifteen minutes,” Kevin says, lifting his chin. “That's all I’ll need to convince you.” He turns and Nathaniel jerks straight. “Nathaniel. You’ll play with us.”

“Yes, Kevin,” Nathaniel says.

Knox smiles and gestures to his goalkeeper. “This is Andrew.”

“He’s unimportant,” Kevin replies, and turns to the Nightingales’ coach. “Can we have your court and borrow some gear, please.”

The coach flinches like she’s been struck, half the locker room does. Kevin ignores that like he hasn’t even picked up on it, but it’s fascinating to Nathaniel. What did Kevin say? He hadn’t even been particularly demanding. The coach arranges for their team to provide equipment while Knox talks quietly with his goalkeeper – Andrew. He doesn’t look at all impressed by whatever Knox is saying to him.

“I’ll buy you milkshakes after,” Knox whispers as Nathaniel changes.

Andrew looks at Knox. “The good stuff. Gelato milkshake. From Gelato Tiger.”

“Fine.”

“Deal.”

Naturally, the coach and team bend over backwards to accommodate them, and within five minutes the four of them are heading out onto the Nightingales’ gold and blue court. It’s one of the best high school courts in California, and regularly hosts other schools in the area that don’t have their own. Naturally, the rest of the Nightingales have come out onto the bleachers to watch.

“Andrew is important,” Knox says as they head onto court, Andrew already peeling off to the home goal. Kevin looks at Knox, who grins back beneath his helmet. “He’s far more important than I am. He’s going to shut you out.”

The arrogance. Some high school goalie who sat around gossiping all practice is going to shut out Kevin Day? Jeremy Knox is not just obnoxious and arrogant, but delusional as well. Do they really want someone like this on the Ravens?

They line up on court and Nathaniel looks over his shoulder at Andrew. He’s twirling his racquet absently. He catches Nathaniel’s eye and rests his racquet across his shoulder with a tilt of his head.

“I'm Nathaniel Wesninski, but I'm sure you know that,” he says, at least attempting to keep the Ravens’ public image. “Can I rely on you to have my back?”

Andrew’s face is hard to see under his helmet, but Nathaniel gets the feeling it’s still terrifyingly blank, as it has been the entire time. “Don’t get in my way.”

Nathaniel frowns at him, then shakes his head and turns back to the two strikers arranging their rules. Apparently all of the Nightingales are insufferable, arrogant pricks who need to learn their place. Kevin slams his racquet butt against the court floor, then sets himself up to come in first.

“Begin.”

He takes off without waiting and Nathaniel grips his racquet tighter, bracing for the coming impact. He trains with Kevin every day. They know each other’s moves easily. It’s what makes it so difficult to go against each other. Knox stays back, in fact he’s walking backwards away from the centre line, watching curiously as Kevin and Nathaniel dance around each other. And then Kevin breaks free and shoots for the goal.

It doesn’t light up.

The crack of Andrew sending the ball back up court rips through Nathaniel’s chest. Knox is running up court to get the ball off of a rebound from the far wall. Kevin is staring at Andrew and Nathaniel quickly whips around to face Knox. He’s fast. This is the player they came here for. Nathaniel presses forward to meet him with a grin splitting his face. Knox is fast and agile, built to dance around the opponents defence rather than take hard impacts. Their sticks slam together and Knox twists to dance around him. Nathaniel lets him take the fist one, wanting to watch him take on Andrew, and again the ball is lazily thrown up court.

Huh. So Andrew is actually probably pretty good. This must be the goalkeeper everyone talks about out here. Someone who can match the Perfect Court despite his young age. Perhaps, even if they can’t get Knox, their trip won’t be entirely wasted.

The game is fast from there. Andrew is an incredible goalkeeper. By the time their fifteen minutes is up, and Riko slams his fist against the plexiglass, it’s not a shutout, but it’s the best Nathaniel has ever seen a high school goalkeeper keep up with Kevin. With Nathaniel's help he’s only let in three goals from Kevin and one from Knox. Nathaniel turns to Riko, whose eyes are bright and fixed on Andrew. He knows. They all know. Andrew is special. Andrew is a Raven. He’s Perfect Court! And he’s so young. A shiver bolts up Nathaniel’s spine imagining what Andrew could become if they could get him to the Nest now, under their guidance, without distraction and given the Master’s training, with Nathaniel and Jean helping him. They have to have him.

“Did you have fun losing?” Kevin says.

Knox pulls off his helmet. He’s sweaty and grinning, and doesn’t seem at all bothered by the loss. “I had fun playing. And I had fun seeing Andrew play at- well, I suppose about seventy per cent.”

“He’s not even…” Nathaniel turns but Andrew is already sweeping from the court. “He wasn’t playing all out?”

“Andrew never goes all out,” Knox says, walking away. “But, playing with him, when he puts any effort in, it’s the most amazing thing. That’s the sort of thing that really makes me enjoy exy the most.”

Riko has stepped in front of Andrew to stop him. When Andrew shoves past, Riko grabs his arm and pulls him around. And everything goes to hell. Andrew shoves him back against the plexiglass and Nathaniel sprints of them, metal flashing between the pair. The coach gets to them first, hands held up in surrender and trying to talk Andrew down. Nathaniel is not so subtle. He’d left his own knife with his clothes when he changed, but he has enough practice getting his way without.

“Back off,” Nathaniel demands, shoving Andrew’s side.

Andrew barely moves. It’s like shoving a brick wall. He turns slowly and just stares back at Nathaniel, blank and cold, then makes a show of releasing Riko’s collar. “Keep your hands to yourself and we don’t have a problem.”

“You have to sign for us,” Riko says.

“Oh,”Knox laughs, jogging after Andrew. “I’ve been forgotten.”

Andrew yawns, exaggerated and loud, and walks away towards the locker room. “You promised me milkshake, captain.”

“My poor wallet,” he sighs.

“You can handle it, rich boy.”

#all for the game #aftg #the foxhole court #andrew minyard #neil josten #kevin day #riko moriyama #jeremy knox

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sungbeam · 2 years ago

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𝐀𝐈𝐍'𝐓 𝐍𝐎 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎 — teaser!

nonidol!lee hyunjae x fem!reader

your best friend hyunjae ain't no romeo, but you're still in love... so let's hope he doesn't find out you wrote a whole play about him!

▷ genre, teaser warnings. bffs2l, fluff, angst, humor; no specific warnings

▷ projected release date. fri, may 12th (i think?) HEY IT'S OUT GO READ IT HERE

▷ estimated wc. 30-34k

▷ taglist. open!

this is the fourth installment of the love in unity series! this can be read as a standalone, but there will be a lot of references to prior fics :)

TEASER BELOW THE CUT (APPROX. 500 WORDS)

“—he’d only say that because he’s been scorned by love,” Younghoon lamented from the stage, his arm braced along the back of Miyeon’s folding chair. Props were still being finalized between a couple options, but Jun had found a bunch of folding chairs in a closet that you could use for the bar scene. Everyone’s attention moved away from invitation-less friends to friends playing pretend. He made a dramatic gesture, clutching his heart, then straightening with a laugh as he teased his friend who wasn’t in the scene. “I still think it’s stupid that he and Alex never worked out.”

Eunbi’s eyebrows flew up to her hairline as her hand, holding a water bottle that would later be replaced with a drink glass, froze in mid-air. “I’m sorry? This is news to me. Since when did Kai and Alex even have a chance at ‘working out’?”

Miyeon let out a delighted gasp. “Oh, where to begin?”

Yerin piped in with a lazier gesture with her water bottle. “They weren’t always sworn enemies, y'know. Once upon a time, the ‘lovebirds’ were actually lovebirds,” she chuckled at her own joke—or, her character’s joke.

Younghoon explained, "Their parents pretty much pitted them against each other since the end of middle school. They used to be friends, actually, and they were top of their class in practically everything. Except…"

"Academic League?" Eunbi guessed with her brows twisted. "I remember hearing about something like that."

"Yeah, I mean," Miyeon added, "something happened in junior year and it's been like that since."

"What happened in junior year?—"

Jihyo watched the performance with narrowed eyes, her body leaned forward onto her knees. "This sounds awfully familiar."

The three boys turned their heads her way. "What do you mean?"

She shook her head, eyes fluttering. She made a face and cocked her head to the side in thought. "Okay, maybe it's not exactly like what I'm… Jun, you remember when Yn told us about—you know?"

"That she almost confessed to Hyunjae? Ow! I'm sorry!" Jun yelped as Jihyo slapped his shoulder, hard.

Jacob and Kevin exchanged wide-eyed glances. "She almost confessed to Hyunjae? When?"

Jihyo sent Jun another hard glare, to which he sheepishly raised his hands in surrender, before replying, "Yn said offhandedly once that in junior year of high school, she was almost going to confess her feelings to Hyunjae, but then suddenly decided not to."

Kevin leaned his chin onto his fist. "Huh…"

"I don't know how I didn't even notice this before when I read through the script," Jihyo thought aloud. "Alex and Kai are Yn and Hyunjae—just…with a different ending."

All four heads turned to face forward once more, except, their attention zeroed in on you and Hyunjae. YH!Yn had appeared beside you, most likely updating you on the progress of the massive prop project she was working on for the play. You listened to her report intently as Hyunjae sat next to you, his head leaned onto your shoulder as he played some game on his phone. It was far too soft, far too—there was no way you based this all off of your own experience with Hyunjae, right?

permanent taglist: @tayunji @im-a-big-mess @honeyhuii @crazywittysassy @seomisaho @stopeatread @enhacolor @rnjfy @jaehunnyy @kpopjackie @spiderrenjunfics @soobin-chois @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l @mingiholic @ethereal-engene @ja4hyvn @vatterie @yogurteume @justalildumpling @hyunjaespresent-deobi @hongyangi @pxppxrminty @nerdypastacalzonespy @zhaixiaowen @wtfhyuck @jcmdoll

anr taglist: @oi-miya @loveliestfelix @sickvision @jaerisdiction @stealanity @magnificentjudementmoneyhands @inthesunnn @igotkpoopsss @letsnotdoanything @sodafy @dajanxekiwi @sseastar-main @moonyswolf @sleepymoon27 @floatingpluto @fictionlover100 @winterchimez @zlebooks @mcu-incorrect @moontyuns @blessedsunoo @elljj

#the boyz x reader #lee hyunjae x reader #hyunjae x reader #the boyz drabble #the boyz drabbles #the boyz fanfic #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #the boyz oneshots #hyunjae imagines #hyunjae scenarios #hyunjae drabbles #hyunjae oneshots

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sakuraxkamiki · 2 years ago

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Short Story:

She had been top of her class since elementary school. She had likes and interests, but none of it mattered. Nobody wanted to be friends with the dorky girl trapped within metal headgear, with disheveled hair and a nearly permanent scowl from ill treatment. Her only Friend, a poor boy named Kevin. He, too, was an outcast amongst their peers. He had an awkward stammer when he was a child, but he has since grown out of it. The two were a pair, which made them the perfect friends. Fast forward four years. Shelly and Kevin are 17. It was a week before their junior prom, and the day Shelly got her headgear off, finally! Her and Kevin already made plans to go to prom together. Nobody else would have taken her, but it bothered her little. She was more than excited to go with her childhood friend, and to top it off, she was freed of the metal halo that had been stuck on her face for the past five years.

[Shelly deserved a glow up! ✨️

Edit: Recently, it came to my attention that the photo on my drawing belongs to @songofassandfire . I am so sorry! I hadn't even realized it was an edit! I will take the post down & the photo and remove it if I need to. 😢 sorry again.

#south park #southpark fanart #kevin mccormick #south park shelly #shelly marsh #kenny mccormick #stan marsh #south park kenny #south park stan

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jessicadstone · 3 months ago

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youtube

R.O.D THE TV Episode 26 | Epilogue (2005)

I was just planning on cutting the scene with Junior getting his hair cut by Michelle (because cuteness and an adorable fan art I came across brought back some good memories), but I really love the whole finale. Why the heck not? They all deserve happy endings... except for Joker and Wendy (sorry not sorry!). I can't believe those two aren't rotting in prison.

R.O.D the TV is an action/mystery/sci-fi anime series that aired from 2003-2004 in Japan and 2004-2005 in the U.S. (G4TV's Anime Unleashed block). The show was animated by J.C. Staff and Studio DEEN. The versatile Taliesin Jaffe was the ADR director for the English dub, which was produced by Jonathan Klein, Kevin Chu and Reiko Matsuo. ADR production was done at New Generation Pictures. The DVD release was licensed by Geneon Entertainment, Inc. (now expired); I think Aniplex of America now owns the rights.

There is also a manga starring the Paper Sisters titled Read or Dream, though it shares very little similarities with the TV series, apart from following the sisters. VIZ released an English translation after the show aired in America.

While not a super popular show like One Piece or Fullmetal Alchemist, the English dub of R.O.D the TV was praised and won several ADR awards by DubReview.com.

Rachel Hirschfeld (who was actually 12 like her character) starred as the super-powered, pink-haired lead, Anita King while Hunter MacKenzie Austin and Sara Lahti also starred as her equally super-powered, quirky sisters, Michelle Cheung and Maggie Mui. The Paper Sisters, as they're known, adopted each other, which can explain the different last names, though they were also named after the famous Hong Kong "action trio," Anita Mui, Michelle Yeoh and Maggie Cheung.

A 14-year-old Jessica D. Stone, of course, was featured as Anita's "friend" and/or "boyfriend" (depending on fan theories), Junior. Because she was still working under Disney's contract for the Playhouse Disney/Disney Channel series, Stanley, she used her initials "J.D. Stone," which was suggested by her agent and which made it easier to get cast as boys for anime dubs.

#jessica d. stone #r.o.d the tv #read or die #videos #junior #my characters #voice actor #voice acting #voiceover #voice artist #anime #animation #classic anime #cartoons #old cartoons #nostalgia #youtube #my shows

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bad268 · 7 months ago

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F1 Asks

I saw one of my favorites (@astonmartinii) do this, and I wanted to join lol Not tagging anyone else, but if you want to, do it!

Who is your favourite driver?

It may not look like it on my blog, but Max is my #1 lol

Do you have other favourite drivers?

Of the current grid, Max Oscar, and Logan have been my top three. I love them with a passion and it hurts to see that hate Logan gets. He was promoted too soon in my opinion. And a side note, while I love Kimi Antonelli, even promoting him in 2025 could be too soon.

Of all time, Kimi, Seb, and Lewis (honorable mention Jenson) are my boys. Honestly GOATS <3

Who is your least favourite driver?

I have passionate dislikes for Carlos Sainz and Daniel Ricciardo I'm sorry girlies. I tried writing for Daniel once and I cannot bring myself to even try it again.

Do you pull for drivers or do you like teams as well?

Drivers mostly. I used to consider myself a Red Bull and McLaren fan, but I can't stand behind a team's actions. I'd rather say I'm a Max, Checo, Lando, and Oscar fan.

If you like teams, who do you pull for?

If I had to, Red Bull and McLaren. Next year, I might add Ferarri to this list because that Charles-Lewis lineup is gonna be insane if Ferarri can back it up.

How long have you been into F1?

Actively watching, since 2022. Of handily, since 2020.

What got you into F1?

Something stupid lol... I was on twitch during lockdown and Lando was streaming I can't remember, it was either Among Us or CS:GO. Quarantine was a dark time for me, and his content made me laugh. I did some digging and found out he was in F1. I closely followed until I was able to afford F1TV.

Also, My dad was a big NASCAR guy, and we would go to NASCAR races every year. I met so many drivers (Jeff Gordin, Kyle Busch, Kevin Harvick, and Dale Earnheart Jr. I can remember) because we would get to go down to the paddock. My dad built the communications in the stadium where the track was, so they hooked us up every time. I was used to race cars from a young age, so when I started watching F1 more, it was reminiscent.

do you enjoy fanfic/RPF?

I mean, I write for it now so yeah lol. Honestly though, it's draining sometimes, and I have to take breaks. That; 's why I usually limit it to 2 posts a week, so I can line it up for weeks straight. I used to not post for months at a time, but I'm getting better.

how do you view new fans?

I don't think new fans deserve the hate for liking something, especially girls. Like girls get hated for liking anything, and it's not like they should get hated for living. Coming from a girl who likes a lot of sports, the hate I get is fucking draining. New fans are just as eager about the sport as we are. If you're new and want to ask questions or fan with me, PLEASE! MY INBOX AND MESSAGES ARE ALWAYS OPEN.

If you could take over as any team principal for any team who would it be and why?

Don't get me wrong, I love Toto, but wtf is happening to Mercedes? It's like every year, it's getting worse. So that would be an option for me. Also, Christian, I'm sorry but wtf. Not only the mistreatment of your junior drivers but the mistreatment of your female employees? Nah, man. Get out, and I'll take over.

Are your friends and family into F1 as well?

Not exactly. As I said earlier, my dad is a NASCAR guy. He doesn't like open-wheel racing, but I'm slowly converting him to Indy at least. I'll get him on the F1 train eventually.

Are you open to talking to other fans/making friends?

Always! My inbox and messages are always open and I am the President of Yappsville and will not shut up.

#*garlic* breadsticks #bad268 #formula 1 #tag chain #tagging game #tag game

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84reedsy · 10 months ago

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A Friend Date

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 7888

Characters: Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, FemOC (Brooklyn)

Pairings: Kevin Nash/FemOC; Scott Hall/FemOC (implied)

Warnings: Smut, Cursing, Consensual Infidelity, semi-public sex

“For some reason, it's really important to Scott that we are friends and can get along,” Brooklyn had trouble saying the simplest of things to Kevin Nash without an attitude creeping into her tone.

“We can fake it in front of him. At least, I can,” Kevin crossed his arms, defiant to her olive branch. Just because Scott was smitten with her didn’t mean he had to be, for that reason alone he often resisted returning any kindness out of spite.

“You can barely look at me without sneering” she pointed at him, “See? You just did it,”

Kevin resisted rolling his eyes, which would only further her point. He wanted to wipe that smug smile from her face. That's probably the way she often felt when he was around. He couldn’t blame her but couldn’t be bothered to change his ways at this point.

“Fine. How the hell do we do a ‘friend date’?” He gave in though the words were full of disdain. Seeing Scott outside through the kitchen window reminded him quickly that would do anything for his long-time companion. Even if it was willinging subject himself to an evening with her.

“I dunno,” she shrugged, “I guess we go to dinner or movies or the beach or something.”

“I doubt we'd pick the same movie…” he said judgmentally, “no chick flicks,”

“Oh no of course not,” she said sarcastically, “because you're much too deep and introspective,”

“You know I was doing you a favor agreeing to this, but I'm thinking it's a bad idea now,” he opened a beer and started to walk towards the door to the patio. Even though she and Scott had met on the road, Kevin didn’t share the same camaraderie with her, he didn’t feel obligated to play an audience to her.

“God, I’m sorry,” she went after him grabbing his arm, “Please, for Scott if anything. Just dinner or whatever,”

“Fine, Tuesday, I'll pick you up around 7,” he agreed, sighing loudly.

“What should I wear?” She asked, wondering what shitty dive he'd drag her to.

“Something a little nice. Low cut, maybe they'll comp our meal and I'll get outta this pretty cheap,” Kevin surmised.

“There's that classy reputation I've heard so much about,” she rolled her eyes towards his back as she followed him out to the patio.

Kevin couldn't deny how happy she seemed to make Scott. The smile across his friend's face was genuine when she came out of the house and she went right to him, wrapping her arms around him as soon as she reached him. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been greeted like that. To say it made him bitter wouldn't be a lie, but more than anything, it made him envious.

She was too young for Scott, he reminded himself. 20 years his junior was too young to take anyone seriously. They were barely dating before Scott moved her into his house. Kevin had his reasons to be mistrustful.

--------------------------

“He agreed to it, by the way,” Brooklyn said as she got ready for bed, Scott emerging from the bathroom in a towel. She grinned at him with his black hair loose around his face and shoulders. Ever since she mentioned that she liked it down, he had been wearing it that way a lot more.

“Agreed to what?” He asked, confused at first, “Oh, going out together?”

Brooklyn could hear a subdued excitement in his voice. She knew Scott cared about her, but she knew how much Kevin meant to him, too. She never knew why Kevin never warmed up to her while they toured the pro-wrestling circuit together. She was nothing but nice to him then, but the closer she got to Scott, the more standoffish Kevin became. Sure, she could understand some jealousy, but these were full-grown, middle aged men; she expected more maturity out of them.

“Yes, we're going to dinner Tuesday,” she watched Scott like a hawk in his towel, any chance she had to see his body she took without apology. His physical presence made anything else on her mind seem to disappear.

He dropped the towel and grabbed a pair of boxer briefs, but chuckled when he saw the look of disappointment on Brooklyn’s face.

“What? You get to wear that little number to bed, but I gotta be naked?” He scoffed a little as she crawled up on the bed and kneeled at the edge of it.

Brooklyn looked down at the silky teddy he'd just bought for her.

“But it won't stay on long…” she reasoned, “I just wanted you to see it on me since it was a present.”

“Well aren't you just a good little girl,” he stalked toward her.

She found herself grateful that he'd put on those boxer briefs, they presented his bulge so well that it made her mouth water.

“How the hell is Kev supposed to keep his hands off of you when you look this good,” he licked his lips looking at her.

“Don't worry….Daddy…he won't see me like this,” she mewled at him.

Scott growled audibly at her, he still was extremely aroused by the new name she used for him. He was already half-mast, but he felt the surge of rigidity. Grabbing a handful of satin, he pulled her to him.

“God for a good girl you're so naughty…”

--------------------------------------

Tuesday

“What about this?” Brooklyn checked her angles in the mirror as she tried on yet another outfit. Scott watched amused, comfy in sweats and a t-shirt.

“It's cute, I've always liked that dress on you…” he thought about how often he had trouble keeping his hands to himself if she was in any kind of skirt. He knew Kevin well enough to know he had the same problem, “What about that red one?”

“The red one?? Scott, that's like skin tight and all lace,” she looked at him incredulously, “It's basically lingerie.”

“He might find it harder to be mean to you if you look like a fucking sex goddess,” Scott reasoned.

“Well that would make sense if I was trying to fuck him,” Brooklyn rolled her eyes but disappeared back into the closet.

She paired it with a skintight white slip dress underneath the sheer red lace. She wound half her hair up and secured it with an onyx zanzi and dug out white heels. They would give her a couple inches, but Scott (and Kev) would still tower over her.

Scott whistled a low, long tone when she walked out of the closet. She spun for him before going to the mirror again. She could tug at the bottom hem all she wanted, it wasn't going down any further.

“Look at your ass in that,” Scott hummed a hungry vibration in his chest, “put a bow on that and call it a gift to mankind,”

“Stooop,” she blushed, but didn't really mean it. She looked at the low scooped neckline that packaged her breasts as well as her backside. She thought of what Kevin said about earning a free meal…this certainly could do the job with the right waiter.

“I wouldn't blame him for fucking you if you wear that,” Scott lounged further down in his chair, “hell any warm blooded man for that matter,”

“He wishes,” she mumbled, “I can't handle the man I've got, I don't need anyone else,” She smirked back at him, “Plus, remember what I wore in the ring? He didn’t want to fuck me then, he’s not going to now,” she reasoned.

“It's not gonna bother me if you do,” he said honestly. He knew what made Kevin tick. He knew he'd understand what she was to him if Kevin could see her the way that Scott did. He'd understand if she acted the same way to Kevin for just one night.

“What are you trying to say?” She looked at him apprehensively, “You're not pimping me out to your buddies now are you...” She started to head back into the closet.

“Brook, wear that,” Scott stood walking towards her, “you've already got it on and you look so hot in it,” he made an obvious pass over her with his eyes.

“You didn't answer my question,” she said with a suspicious stare, backing out in their room.

“I'm not nor would I ever ‘pimp you out to my buddies’. If I was, Waltman would pay a pretty penny, “ he teased to her scrunched face, “just teasing…” he got amusement out of her reaction.

“So what's all this about screwing Nash?” She felt a nervousness in her gut that made her feel self conscious.

“Baby…I'm not saying you should. But I want you two to have fun and get to know each other. Have a couple drinks. Show him who you really are. Just be you. If you do that, I'm just saying I couldn't resist you, how can I expect him to?” Scott tried to reason, knowing he was doing a poor job. Her skeptical face confirmed this.

“What if it does? I don't want to hurt you …”she stopped there, already upset by the idea of causing him any pain.

“This is different, trust me,” he slipped his arms around her sides, “I just want you to let loose and have fun. He'll see what I see then.”

Brooklyn still wasn't convinced, but she nodded to placate Scott. The doorbell caught both of their attention. Scott left to answer it as she finished her earrings and lightly added subtle eyeliner. She didn't know what compelled her to change her simple panties, but she slipped on a cheeky satin pair instead.

She carefully went downstairs, getting used to the heels. At the bottom waited Scott and Kevin. It was quick, but she could have sworn she saw Kevin gulp. But he was definitely looking, and looking at everything. Scott pretended like he didn't notice.

“There she is,” Scott smiled up at her, proudly beaming over her attractiveness.

“Evening,” Kevin said, clearing his throat. He stared her down as she stopped on the last step to keep her height closer to his.

“Good evening,” she answered politely. Scott had to stifle laughing at the contention between the two of them, “Are you ready? We should probably get going,” she was not up for small talk.

She kissed Scott on the cheek goodbye, Kevin walking out the door first and going to the driver's side door.

“Geez Kev, your mom raised you better than that,” Scott shook his head as he crossed his arms leaning against the door frame. He could see Brooklyn was already irritated, but she hid it well.

“She's capable of getting her own door,” Kevin excused his lack of chivalry, “See?” He said as she opened her own door. She gave one last look of annoyance toward Scott, before rolling her eyes and getting in.

Kevin tried to focus on driving, glad he brought his 5-speed Lexus. Shifting gears kept him somewhat distracted from the amount of bare leg in his passenger seat.

“Nice dress,” he said, still not looking directly at her.

“Thanks,” she tried to adjust the hem in vain once again, “just something I had in the back of my closet,” she looked over at his wardrobe selection now.

He wore khaki shorts and a crisp, but plain white t-shirt, not an unusual male outfit for the sweltering humidity of Florida. His hair was done perfectly and his goatee looked freshly trimmed. His cologne smelled incredible, one of those scents that one would find themselves leaning in to catch more of.

“You look nice, too,” she returned the compliment honestly, “I feel like I should be getting hair tips from you,” she complimented him as she remembered Scott's wish that she be herself.

“Yours has always been nice, I should be asking you,” for someone who always knew what to say, he was certainly having trouble finding words to fill the silence.

She started to reach for the radio, but remembered her manners even if Kevin forgot his, “Do you mind?” She motioned towards the knobs.

He shrugged, accelerating and shifting as they merged into the highway, “Feel free,”

She fiddled with the stations until a familiar tune floated through the speakers. She had no idea what kind of music he was into, but figured I'd he was too opposed to it, he'd say something.

As T-Boz started her quick, husky lyrics, Brooklyn felt more relaxed, her leg keeping a slow time with the beat. Kevin side-eyed her movements, noticing the subtle movement of her hips. He looked away quickly when she caught him.

For some reason, catching him relaxed her. He was just a male, not some impenetrable force of nature.

“This is tight,” he complimented her, always a sucker for R&B, “Who is this?”

“TLC…how do you not know TLC??,” if anything they had similar tastes in music, “You into this kinda stuff?”

“Hell, I'm from Detroit. Motown. Birthplace of this music,” he spoke reactively, being himself though he was trying not to, “I’ve heard of ‘em, thought they were more of a pop girl group though,”

“We have to get you Crazy, Sexy, Cool. It's a great album,” She started to feel a bit more comfortable now, “I've only been to Detroit when we were on tour. Never got to spend much time there.” She was feeling good about making conversation.

“It's home, but it's cold for way too long,” Kevin didn't elaborate, essentially shutting down the exchange.

Brooklyn tried again a few moments later.

“So where are we going?” She looked out the window, trying to figure out where they might be headed.

“It's a Jamaican place up here on the lakefront.” He vaguely gestured to the south, “Good, ethnic seafood and shit”

Brooklyn was expecting a parking lot with a food truck at this point. But the swanky restaurant outdid her menial expectations of him. Clearly it was elevated island food. At least the valet opened the door and held his hand for her. She almost jumped when she felt Kevin's large hand on the small of her back as he led her in.

“Jumpy much?” He snickered, before speaking with the hostess.

“Not used to you touching me without it being in the form of a powerbomb or chokeslam,” She reasoned, “Usually expect something violent,” She smirked knowing the hostess probably would take her words out of context. Kevin furrowed his brow angrily, knowing how she was making him look. Her smirk only confirmed it was on purpose.

The hostess only blushed as she handed off their menus to an assistant server, not making eye contact with Kevin again.

“I’ll be lucky to get out of here without getting arrested,” His teeth were gritted slightly and she could feel the heat of his glare on her, but it did little to reduce her smugness.

She sat in the chair that was pulled out for her, glad it wasn’t Kevin as she’d likely have ended up on the floor. She glanced at the wine list the maitre'd held.

“The 1972 Malbec, please,” She was met with an approving head nod from the maitre’d before he turned to Kevin, who looked at her almost disapprovingly. It was no Cristal, but it was far from their cheapest.

“Just bring a bottle of it,” He caved, at least this way it would be cheaper per glass.

“A whole bottle, what exactly are your plans?” She said as they were left alone for the moment.

“If you think I’m going to go through this whole night sober, you’re wrong. Gonna at least need a couple of glasses to tolerate you.” He sipped on his glass of water.

“Wow, just keep layering on the charm,” She put her hands on the table as if she were going to push away and stand. Kevin reached his foot out, catching the lip on the bottom of her seat and pulled it forward roughly so she was pinned to the table.

“We agreed to this, don’t get all pissy about it and think you’re going to bail. You’re stuck with me tonight, kid,” He reminded her. He lowered his leg slowly, feeling her knees trying to close.

“Rule #1 then, don’t call me kid,” She lowered her voice, but maintained a serious tone, “I’m not a kid, your buddy Scott knows that real well,” She smiled as the sommelier poured their glasses expertly. Kevin couldn’t help but glance at her cleavage as her arms inadvertently pressed them together even more. Scott had always been a fan of tits and he could definitely see the appeal there. Her ring outfits had never been conservative, but something about being in dressy, but regular clothes and not a costume made him view her differently.

“Fine, you’re not a kid, Brooklyn,” He said her name and it felt oddly personal to say to her. She seemed to react to it similarly. He grabbed for his glass, but stopped short of drinking when she cleared her throat.

“Shouldn’t we toast to something?” She reached for her glass now, holding it up from the table slightly, “isn’t it bad luck not to toast?”

“Fine,” he held his glass out, “To an…unusual woman… who makes my friend very happy and for that I am grateful for her,” He offered, noting the subdued surprise on her face. The corner of his mouth couldn’t resist a smirk.

“To a man that the love of my life considers family, that I hope to one day as well,” She hated saying such vulnerable things, but it was the truth. The glasses clinked and they each sipped, their eyes darting away from the other. They both knew that such statements would make things awkward and they had been right.

The wine warmed her tongue, throat and belly, and seemed to simmer her discomfort with her company.

“So…do you hate me because I take up too much of Scott’s time?” She asked blatantly.

Kevin sputtered in his wine a little, managing to keep it in the glass.

“Jesus, no,” He started, before bending to her unconvinced gaze, “Maybe partly. It's been him and me for a long time. I have my family, but Scott’s never been the -” He knew he was going to sound harsh and selfish, “ he’s never been the stable one. I was the guy he could count on to be there.”

“And if I’m the real deal, then you have to figure out the role of just being a regular friend?” She surmised. It was true, but he still didn’t like it.

“Honey, you haven’t seen everything yet. There might be nights you’re calling me for backup.” He knew Scott was in a different mindset now and the truth was, he had no idea if he’d fall back on those old habits if he was in a state of domestic bliss.

“And if I did?” She tried to ignore the spite in his voice, “If I called you for help, would you show up?”

Kevin took a long drink of his wine, “I would. But for him more than for you.”

Brooklyn exhaled in frustration. Just when they seemed to be heading towards some small but significant breakthrough, he had to return to disparagement.

Brooklyn excused herself to the bathroom and silently screamed into the echo-y void out of irritation. She could understand feeling threatened by a woman. This was nothing new in the realm of men’s relationships. But Kevin was being purposefully obtuse. At the moment she wanted nothing more than to kick him in the balls if only to see something else on his face other than contempt.

She leaned on the counter staring at herself in the mirror. She thought of Scott’s roundabout ‘approval’ that tonight was a ‘free pass’. He might have looked at her tits once or twice, but she couldn’t imagine Kevin was thinking of anything close to fucking her. She thought it far more likely that he might throw her in the lake to the gators.

“Be nice. It irritates him more when he doesn’t get to you,” She said aloud to herself. She adjusted her dress in the mirror, smoothing out the lace and pushing up the bust.

“You the one here with that super tall stud?” A lady walked into the bathroom as she was adjusting.

“Yeah, that’s my date,” She tried not to spit out the word.

“Girl, I ain’t ever seen someone stare at an ass like he was you. I mean, congratulations on it,” She complimented, “But you definitely got the upperhand on that man,”

Brooklyn grinned at herself, the girl code was a marvelous thing.

In her absence, Kevin had ordered for her and though she was miffed at first, when he revealed what he’d ordered, she settled her ruffled feathers. It was not a cheap dish and shrimp happened to be one of her favorite foods.

“I didn’t forget that time you out ate Norton in boiled shrimp,” he recalled, “If anything I have to respect you for that,”

She tried to let her irritation roll off her back, remembering what was said in the restroom. Perhaps he was lashing out because he was attracted to her and felt guilty about it. Lashing out would be a natural response. The idea seemed to make a lot of his behavior fall into place. Maybe Scott knew it, too and was trying to lead her to the same conclusion. She held her tongue for now, still managing polite conversation.

She played the part of a gracious date as he paid a surprisingly half-comped bill. He knew her kindness and subversive flirting was likely the cause. She seemed to easily enchant any man that came near her if she felt like it. Why she chose to be such a bitch to him was a mystery.

“Maybe because that’s a valid response to you being a dick to her first?” his subconscious suggested, but he brushed it off.

Once again, the valet opened her door, though for a moment Kevin seemed to head in the direction of doing so, but side-stepped when he was beaten.

“Where to now? Or have I worn you out for the evening?” She questioned, holding the door handle tightly as he got up to speed quickly. The sudden movement was exhilarating if not a little alarming.

He had to side glance at the way her thighs flexed when she braced herself.

“Don’t let her get you all worked up now,” His logic spoke up.

“Country Club down the shore a little ways, they have a private club. Quiet, private kind of place.” He shifted into the next gear, grinding it a little.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The club was dimly lit and had nicer furniture than she’d seen before. She was sure the leather sofas were worth more than her car. There were several alcoves around the edge of the space, partially obscured by heavy, dark red drapes that were secured to one side. They were led to one after Kevin spoke with a well dressed host.

Other patrons were in various levels of formal attire, if anything Kevin looked underdressed, but she assumed money bought leeway with some things. The alcove was raised from the main floor and she was surprised that it was Kevin’s hand that was held out to help her step up.

“Those heels look dangerous,” He reasoned, motioning for her to pick her seat. Two cushy black brushed suede chairs were nestled in one corner flanked by a matching loveseat. A rich, wood low level table separated them from the edge of the alcove.

“They aren’t not dangerous, thank you,” She agreed with him.

She sat, crossing her ankles to keep her legs together. Sometimes she had to purposefully remember etiquette after spending so much time on the road with wrestlers. She saw Kevin mumble something quietly to the host while handing over a small stack of folded bills.

Moments later a tray with expensive champagne and strawberries was brought. She raised her eyebrows at the gesture, though confused by his mixed signals. He poured her a glass after dropping in a strawberry.

As he settled back in his chair with his own glass, Brooklyn couldn’t stop the urge to break his composure.

"I think I know why you actually hate me" She sipped the bubbly sweet liquid.

"Can't wait to hear this" He was surprised by her sudden and direct statement, thinking they'd already covered this at the restaurant.

"Because you're jealous." She tried to subdue her wicked, knowing grin. She was amused by the sour turn of his face.

"Me. Jealous. Of you. " He scoffed at the ridiculous assumption as if it weren’t true.

"Not really of me... but...of Scott kinda" She shrugged, leaning her chin on her hand as her elbow rested on the arm of the chair, ‘It’s understandable though,”

"What the fuck are you talking about? Scott’s like a brother, but we all know I have more going on than him" Kevin replied with a contrived superiority.

"Which is why it ticks you off so much! " She didn’t falter to his cocky manner, still confident in her assessment.

"Why what ticks me off?? Fuck off with your riddles, jesus christ" He cursed, feeling the weight of her judgement.

"That from the first moment you saw me,” she made a point to make eye contact, “you wanted to fuck me so bad that you could taste it. And Scott beat you to it." She returned her own cocky attitude, taking a longer drink without taking her eyes off of him.

"Is that so..." He leaned forward, his arms on his knees, scoffing again.

"And the worst part for you is, the first time you saw me tonight you thought the same thing. And now you're mad because you're dick is hard as a rock and there's nothing....you...can do....about it"

Kevin’s ears were ringing with her words and was livid about how true they were. He knew his anger was surfacing as his breathing labored under the building wrath.

"You're about to find out what I'm gonna do about it. And Scott's not here to save you” He warned her.

“What exactly is it you plan to do about it, Mr. Nash?” She took a strawberry from the table and bit into it slowly, letting her lips linger on the juicy red fruit.

He set his glass down, with an aggressive clink that was probably not far from shattering it. Eyes on her, he lifted his hand and motioned with a finger. At that moment, the drape slowly lowered, completely obscuring them from the rest of the room. The only dim light came from two sconces glowing faintly on the wall.

Though she had expected turnabout, she couldn’t help but wonder if he could see her chest rising more quickly as the silence between them thickened.

Slow rhythmic music softly sailed from hidden speakers. She didn’t dare break the stare first.

Kevin downed the rest of his champagne in one large gulp and stood. He was such an imposing man, more so when she was sitting looking up at his towering frame.

He held his hand down to her. She looked at it and back up to his face.

“Get up,” he said, motioning for her hand with his fingers, “You owe me a dance.”

Still with her eyes on him, she set her glass down and reached to slip her hand in his. She stood, one hand sliding to his bicep, the other he held in his hand. She came up to his chest, just slightly lower than Scott. She maintained the slightest gap between them as his other hand slid around her torso.

“How do I owe you a dance?” She asked with a much more submissive tone than before. His cologne was still like a welcome incense.

“For dinner,” He reasoned, looking down at her, “and for busting my balls the last three hours,” he said but did not laugh, his face increasingly serious.

“You know I don't like that,” she still felt the tension from his mood, but struggled against smirking as he raised an eyebrow, “Well…maybe I do…but I don't like that I like it,”

“I don't like how you make me feel,” Kevin said, his firm tone contradicting how gently he was holding her, she looked at him confused, “You make me so damn aroused every damn time I see you. I want you so bad most times I have to beat it twice in your bathroom just to maintain. And then I feel like shit because you're my best friend's woman and what kind of friend does that make me,” his teeth were nearly gritted and she somehow felt safe and in danger in the same moment.

“I didn't know you felt like that,” she admitted, having only picked up on the seething hatred. She had noticed Kevin made frequent bathroom trips but never assumed anything out of the ordinary. She felt a tingle between her legs thinking about him self-pleasuring out of desperation.

“I shouldn't. I should be able to just be friends with you. At least cordial so that when I come to my buddy's house I can watch the game without thinking about you the whole time or insulting each other constantly.” he breathed like the admission was a weight off his chest but a stone in his gut, “Scott has never treated me or any girl I've been with like this, “ he winced referring to his wife as part of ‘any girls’.

Kevin pushed her away and turned his back taking a few steps while running a hand over his face then through his hair. Telling her this wasn't reducing his culpability and if anything it was making it worse having to look at her in such a sexy little dress.

“This was a mistake….I need to take you home.” He stood with his back to her still, his hands on his hips now as he cursed his stupid mind.

He shuddered when he felt her hands lay flat against his back. They rose slowly, curving over the round of his shoulder.

“Brooklyn…. You shouldn't touch me,” he closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Sit down,” she said so softly and gently that he nearly groaned, her hands pressuring his shoulders slightly.

“Brooklyn,” he protested weakly.

“Sit, Kevin….please,” she stepped closer to him, her breasts grazing his back.

He conceded and sat on the love seat, silently watching as she stood between his splayed legs.

“Close your eyes,” she said, leaning forward, her fingers grazing down over his eyes, “Close ‘em,”

He did so, his other senses acutely aware as she straddled his lap. With the slow music, she moved her hips in time with it, her hands crept over his chest and torso. His head fell back against the frame of the couch as he focused on feeling her against him. He'd had lap dances before, but nothing this sensual, nothing that made his breath shudder from his lips like this. He tried to hold still, but his own hips rolled in time with her. His hands gripped into the couch, nearly puncturing the fabric.

Brooklyn kept the pressure of her hands soft, grazing over his neck, face, and threading through his hair. She could tell she was working him up, but she wasn't doing herself any favors either. She was impressed that he hadn't touched her, but the way his hand gripped the arm of the loveseat, she knew he wanted to.

“If you want to touch me,” She whispered, “You just have to ask,”

His fingers twitched and she knew he was fighting his own inner turmoil. She felt the hem of her dress riding higher and higher as her thighs spread wide across his lap. She separated the lace from the white slip and shimmied it over her head. It was just as tight, but the fabric alone showed the obvious hardened tip of each nipple as it hugged her breasts tightly.

She pulled his shirt from where it was tucked in, running her hands underneath it. She felt the radiating heat of his skin, drawing a strained sigh out of him.

“Brooklyn…. Can I touch you…please god dammit let me touch you,” he sounded regretful to ask, but she could see he was about to burst.

“Yes, Kevin…touch me,” She spoke softly to him. His large hands did not waste time, surprisingly going to her waist first, but it made sense as he pushed her down more firmly against his lap. She felt why immediately as the khaki cloth stretched over his stiff member. But they wandered swiftly. She couldn't help but moan as his hands gripped her scantily covered ass, squeezing and massaging it roughly.

She grinded against him slowly, wondering if he was going to remain submissive or at some point take control. She would see how far she could take it before he lost his composure.

She raised enough that one of her tits hovered above his face, she ran the cotton covered nipple over his slack lip, the weight of her breast grazing his chin.

He moaned, his eyes still closed as his head leaned forward, mouthing her breast. With his teeth, he pulled the fabric down enough to nibble on her bare nipple. His hand slid back to her hips, pushing her down hard against him as he dry humped her harshly. She held on to him for stability as his tongue swirled around the rosey peak and her sex gyrated against his.

“Fuck… Kevin,” she moaned, “fuck…stop, please god, stop!” she begged, losing the fight against cumming already. Kevin slowed for a second, before she grabbed his hair and changed her tune, “Fuck it…don't stop,” she encouraged him to keep going as she pressed her sex firmly against him, “Kev, I'm cumming!” She whispered in a high pitch as she felt her juices dampen her already slick panties.

Kevin opened his eyes just in time to see pleasure etched on her face as she gripped his arms tightly. He wrapped his arms around her and held her against him securely as she rode out the waves of her orgasm. She bit her lip as she looked down at him.

“I…I didn't mean to do that yet,” she mumbled. From the haze in Kevin’s listless gaze she would have thought he'd cum, too.

“Do you know how hot you look when you cum, fuck,” he said with a hungry look in his eye, “did you get wet?” He asked, licking his lips.

Brooklyn grinned mischievously, “I guess Scott didn't tell you about that part,” she slid down him a little, his parted lips beckoning her.

“I told him I didn't want to hear anything about you…it'd only make me want you more,” He admitted. He kissed her back insistently as her mouth pressed to his. The kiss was breathless and needy, his hands pulling the slip down her body so the entirety of it bunched at her waist.

She parted from his lips long enough to beg in a whisper, “Put your hand in my panties,”

“What??” He had her nearly naked in his lap, yet couldn't quite believe his ears.

“I want you to feel what you've done to me,” She sat back enough for him to slip his hand down the front. He first found her freshly smoothed skin, but quickly found the molten wetness coating her sex.

“Jesus christ…” he slid his fingers further, massaging her sensitive bud and making her squirm, “ Wanna cum for me again?” His own words rung in his ears now, almost unbelieving that he actually said them.

“Yes…make me cum, Kev…I'm so close,” She felt the tingles building before he even touched her, the direct contact sending her to the edge again quickly. His intense gaze wasn't helping to subdue it either.

Her hips rolled her sex against his wiggling fingers and she arched her back and let her head fall backwards as she came. His free hand massaged her firm tits as he felt her pussy coat his fingers with fresh wetness.

Her legs were shaking, but she managed to stand, pulling the slip down her legs and letting the panties fall with it. She started to step out of the heels, but Kevin stopped her.

“Leave ‘em on…it's hotter that way….” He looked up and down her naked body, jealous that Scott had full access to this all the time, but at the same time totally understanding her appeal. The slit of her pussy glistened with the wetness she elicited for him. His fingers were still sticky with it, but he wanted to taste it from the source, “Please let me lick that pretty little pussy,” he scooted forward, his hands holding her hips.

Brooklyn stepped her legs slightly more apart and put her hands atop his head, guiding him to her. His wide, strong tongue licked the length of her slit, flicking past her clit and suckling lightly on it as she whimpered.

“Kev…oh fuck…Kev….” Whimpering his name only made his tongue more spirited.

Not wanting to waste the slick on his fingers, he circled her entrance with them, before slipping them inside and shallowly fucking her cunt. Her knees wobbled, but she stayed on her feet as she felt a tickle surge into the sweltering heat of another orgasm.

He slowed his fingers, but didn't stop as she recovered, moving his head back just enough to have an amazing view of his fingers sinking into her pussy.

“Are you gonna let me see that cock I've heard so much about?” She cooed, running her fingernails through his hair. He looked up at her, still slowly working his fingers. He could see the pleasured reactions on her face still.

“What have you heard?” He slowly slid his fingers from her.

“Essentially that you're basically going to rip me in two,” She chewed her lip, “but I'd like to see for myself.”

“We…we can't undo it…if we do this…” he seemed still slightly apprehensive

“You've made me cum three times and had your mouth full of my pussy…I think we've already passed too far…why stop there when I know you're dying to fuck me?” She tilted his head up to look at her, she could see the inner turmoil in his eyes, “Right now it's just you and me,” he leaned his forehead against her stomach, “And I really want to feel you inside of me,”

He clenched his jaw as he stood, kissing up her body as he went. He slipped off his shirt, loosened his belt and dropped his shorts to the floor. She couldn’t help but look at his muscular frame and proud chest. She gulped at the heavy hanging shaft between his legs, far too large to ever stand on its own.

“There's a lot to get inside of you…” he warned the obvious now. He led her to the back of the love seat, perching her ass on the top of the back of it, putting her at the perfect height for him to penetrate easily.

Her breath quickened as he used her juices to slicken his shaft, directing it into her slowly.

“Holy FUCK…” she hissed, trying to keep her voice low, but found it nearly impossible as he continued to fill her. She pressed her palm against his torso and he paused, another third left to go.

“Ever had one this big, baby?” He puffed his chest a little, knowing it was unlikely.

She shook her head, her breathing shaky as he withdrew and slid back in slowly. Her eyes rolled back as he thrusted gently and slowly.

“Never that big…” She murmured, balancing precariously on the edge, her legs spread wide around him.

“Fuck…this pussy feels so damn good….” his legs trembled with restraint as he quickened his thrusts, hoping to sneak another inch or two inside of her.

“Kev…it's…it's too…” She bit her lip to keep herself from talking, flirting with the edge of her pleasure threshold.

“Am I too big for you, baby?” He hummed at her, seeing in her face that she wanted it all even if she couldn't handle it. He held her hips, harshening his thrusts now, letting out the frustration that had been building all night.

He knew other people could hear her whimpered moans, but his generous tip bought him more privileges than them.

“Yes…” she gasped, “but, don't stop,” she begged, breathless.

He still had a couple of inches to force into her, but he waited, thrusting rapidly now into her once again, freshly soaked pussy.

“Cum on my cock like a good little girl, that's it, squirt all over me you dirty little whore,” when she did exactly as told, he knew dirty talk was her trigger. As her orgasm subsided, he slipped out of her completely, much to the protest in her expression. He stroked his slick cock quickly.

“Bend over like a good little slut,” He commanded, aroused by the visual of her bent over the couch in her white heels and nothing else. He stepped behind her and slipped in his entire length, trapping her between him and the couch she had nowhere to escape.

Brooklyn covered her mouth, but her pussy ached in the best way. Kevin's hands held her shoulders as he rocked her with powerful, deliberate thrusts. He felt all his frustrations melting away as she begged for him to fuck her harder.

He lifted one of her legs over the back of the couch, drilling her deeper still and feeling her shake with an earth-shattering orgasm that made her pussy grip his dick tightly. She groaned primally as he knew he was fucking her to the edge of consciousness.

Brooklyn could hardly manage his invasion into her body. His cock slid deeper and deeper inside of her inching past what she thought she could handle. His large gripping hands held her captive though she didn’t want to escape this welcome torture.

“I wanna feel you cum,” She begged, not caring who, if anyone, heard her on the other side of the curtain, “please cum in me, Kev…”

He groaned at the request, his logic knowing better, but it was drowned out by the drive of his sexual prowess.

“You want my cum? You want it in that slutty cunt? I'll give it to you baby,” he pressed his hand in the small of her back, burying his large cock to the hilt and forcing his cum deeper within her womb than anyone had ever before.

“Kev!” She moaned his name loudly as his cock penetrated her deeply and spilled stream after stream of his stored seed, filling her tunnel until it seeped out and dripped on his balls.

She tried to catch her breath, her body at it's limit as her muscles trembled. She nearly came at the movement of Kevin slowly withdrawing, managing an airy laugh as she slowly lowered her nearly cramping leg. She turned, leaning against the couch, still out of breath as she looked up at Kevin who was in a similar state.

“I don't really think those things about you-” he started, but Brooklyn stopped him.

“I know…I know…it was just talk,” She offered an understanding smile. She laughed again as her leg momentarily spasmed, “I might need.. something…” She looked around, knowing he'd left a hefty deposit behind.

He reached for a stack of folded cloth napkins and flicked on open, parting her legs a little. She reached for the napkin, but he held it firmly. She gasped a little as he ran it slowly up her now delicately sensitive slit.

“You don't have to…” She gasped again as he passed back over.

“It's the least I could do…it is my mess after all…” He seemed to have found his generous side. If this is what she had to do to earn his kindness, she wished they'd done this much earlier.

Her panties were nearly soaked and she laid them to the side as she slipped on the white under dress and shimmied the lace over it. There was something oddly intimate about watching her redress.

“So much for these…” She murmured at the cold, damp satin, looking around hopefully for a trashcan.

“Do you mind,” Kevin stepped up only in his shorts as he buckled his belt, “if I have them?” His eyes were trained on the ball of green fabric.

Brooklyn couldn’t believe the surge of confidence and arousal she felt at the idea of Kevin coveting her panties secretly. She was glad she had changed into a cute, sexier pair… At least for his sake.

“I don't mind at all,” She handed them over to his open and waiting palm.

He poured them each another glass of champagne and she downed it quickly, her thirst demanding hydration. He made a mental note to stop and get her water or something.

She was embarrassed as she thought of walking out in front of all the people in the club, knowing they had probably heard everything.

“Trust me, I took care of it…” Kevin tried to calm her as he slipped his shirt back on and fixed his hair.

It was the first time he'd said ‘trust me’ and meant it without sarcasm. Maybe Scott knew what he was talking about all along. She took Kevin’s outstretched hand and crept from behind the curtain, using his frame as a shield. But the room was empty, save for a few workers who didn't even look their way.

The ride back was quiet, but comfortable as they listened to the Keith Sweat album he selected. When he didn't have to shift, he rested his large hand on her thigh and she didn't seem to mind. She smirked at the glovebox occasionally, knowing the green satin that was concealed inside.

It was late by the time he pulled up in Scott's driveway, welllllll after midnight. But the porch light was on and through the glass surround of the door, she could see the glow of the den TV. Scott was still awake.

She started to get out, but Kevin locked the doors, walking around to her side. She rolled her eyes, but did so smiling this time as he opened her door.

On the porch she turned to tell him goodnight, but he grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her into a deep, intense kiss. She held onto his shoulders for balance, left unstable at first when he parted.

“I had a great time…I'm glad we did this. “ He ran his thumb across her bottom lip, “Scott's lucky he found you,”

“I'm the lucky one, Kevin. He makes me really happy,” She looked towards the door smiling, “I'd do anything for him,”

“Believe me…I know you would,” Kevin chuckled, nodding towards the door, “Get inside before I get any other ideas,”

Brooklyn leaned up and kissed his cheek, “G'night Kev,” She said softly before going inside.

Kevin felt a sense of relief and clarity as he drove away. He'd been skeptical of the whole idea, but he had to admit, Scott might have known exactly what he was talking about.

#kevin nash #kevin nash fan fiction #kevin nash fanfic #kevin nash fan fic #wrestling fanfiction #wrestling #scott hall #wwe #wcw #wrestling fan fic #smut #smutty smutness

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t-allyitup · 10 months ago

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ed edd n eddy alphabet soup part ii anyone?

may be headed in the direction of a fic me thinks idk i'm just at a point where my brain is experiencing a creative outpouring in the form of ed edd n eddy content

[eddeddy specific i guess. let's see]

cw for substances, implied (but up to interpretation) traumatic events, child abuse/domestic violence mention, double d enjoying calculus

[also ... i may have mentioned this previously somewhere but i'm currently almost 2 years clean from dxm abuse & all drugs so PLEASE know that interactions with substances are not something that should be romanticized or promoted, i'm not trying to do that i just also have been in high school and as a teenager substances are something that exist]

[for purposes of me being me this story features the three ed's as seniors in high school, as well as rolf, kevin, and nazz. johnny & may kanker are juniors in high school, sarah & jimmy are sophomores, and eldest kankers have graduated hs]

[eddy's brother is in the can and staying there cuz i'm not about to deal with his ass sorry]

picking up from double d's brain alphabet soup...

- beginning

but that wasn't productive ruminating for the current task at hand, no.

no, the focus of his current endeavor, as he had been sorely forcing his near non-existent attention span back too, was familiarizing himself with the revision outline for the first calculus ii quiz of his last year of high school.

calculus had been relatively simple, the theoretical aspect of geometry soothingly absent from this branch of arithmetic, with many of the classic formula/solve/answer questions (however tedious the problems may be.) double d enjoyed problems with direct, proven answers, especially ones that would simply be labeled as correct or incorrect. knowing that without a doubt there was a proven, logical, factual answer for a problem was motivating and provided structure.

although he still received excellent markings in his literature classes, and had become especially gifted in theoretical analysis and research investigation, the concept of language left him feeling rather uncomfortable. while there were specific outlines, literary devices, and general frame of composition to guide him, a compelling and well-written piece of writing was largely subjective. personal opinions of the audience were essential to the response of the piece, and therefore effective criticism stemmed often from personal preference rather than execution.

ed, a third of double d’s nearly life-long trio of best friends, had surprisingly excelled in the areas of creative writing and storytelling in the past few years. while his spelling and grammar needed (and likely would always need) some work, his ability to reveal emotion in his writing was pleasantly shocking and impressive to both edd and eddy. double d had scanned ed’s last few impromptu creative writing assignments, and had beamed with pride at each one, offering only some minor suggestions each time that the other teen had taken with great appreciation and warmth. ed had also grown to become interested in cooking, and after nearly burning double d’s house to ash multiple times while trying to cook hot dog burgers, had gotten a strict warning that he'd better work on his scientific skills if he ever considered returning to double d's kitchen again. this had led to double d spending a few grueling hours explaining measurements and proper handling of equipment, but had ultimately paid off in the form of the trio enjoying a delicious ed-cooked meal nearly three times a week.

ed had also joined a d&d league, following a recommendation from a (long overdo) psychiatric assessment that ed had dyslexia and adhd, and would benefit from some time outside of his house. double d and eddy had understood that this was a nice way of the shrink telling ed's parents that their continued domestic violence mishaps and borderline abusive behavior towards their son had been resulting in cognitive decline, and that ed having a productive hobby and solid support system would hopefully be able to keep him stable and shield him from his parents further traumatizing him.

eddy was, to few of the cul-de-sac kid's surprise, quite gifted in the areas of communications, business, and physical education. following his brother’s arrest and eventual incarceration, eddy had been hitting the gym to try and kill off his festering anger and hurt from the abuse. he had made the junior varsity football team the first year, and was quickly promoted to varsity his sophomore year. eddy was still shorter than ed and double d, but was noticeably stronger and better ‘filled out.’ eddy had prided himself on his self-described 'total beefy hunk of a bod,' much to ed's howls of amusement and double d's eye roll of affection. while eddy worked tirelessly on his car, ranting about the 'idiotic lack of, if actually existent, formation strategy’ of the quarterback, double d had become increasingly aware of how eddy's personality had developed. it was clear that eddy had become more confident, in not only himself, but in his abilities. he also showed an impressive talent for pattern recognition, strategizing, and planning. this had been a major asset to their football team, who were mostly 6'2 boulders that had clearly only made the team for their size. of course, it was inevitable that eddy would always be the snarky little attention hog he was, but it was pretty clear to double d that eddy was also becoming observant and (though this may be a stretch) stabilized. he had also gotten tattoos, one of a dragon that matched with ed and a few for other reasons that double d hadn't been paying attention to due to his uncharacteristic staring in shock and (now identifiable) gay panic. eddy had developed an obsession with piercings, too. his ears, left eyebrow, right nostril, and tongue in specific were victims of this endevor, and although kevin had rolled his eyes and scoffed at the look, eddy looked incredible and had remained confident in his appearance.

in fact, it was jimmy, who had grown up more than anyone could imagine, who was the first to compliment eddy on his piercings. jimmy had taken up swimming and diving, as well as student government, and debate team with eddy. his voice was scratchy and soothing, and his ability to tear it up in the pool had astonished and overjoyed everyone. he had been returning to states for swim year after year since the 7th grade, and the legendary smile that had always been the focal feature of his face was now accompanied by a freckling of acne. his baja sweatshirts and acid wash jeans, along with a surprising choice of reebok shoes, had been proof of his own self-settling.

sarah had become distant, although physically present, halfway through freshman year. that october, a rumor had circulated about sarah that double d didn't even want to think about, especially after sarah had told him the truth about what had actually happened.

sarah stayed close to ed the next few years, the rare instance of a unmistakable clang of a sarah laugh present after a particularly goofy joke from jimmy or a swat at the hand of ed trying to steal a french fry was rare, but had become more common. the sound of her laugh was helpful for reminding them that she was healing, and that the blazing force of fire that lies inside, although flickering, hasn't gone out.

johnny had joined a d&d leauge with ed, and was unsurprisingly terrific at arts of all kinds. he had gotten lead roles in the last few student-led visual arts productions, twice as the main supporting character and once as the lead-joseph, in 'joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat.' in the summers, johnny had played baseball, and was playing varsity by junior year. plank remained lodged in his backpack, a comforting reminder that some things never change.

rolf had also become interested in musical theater, as well as baseball. during baseball season, rolf, johnny, and kevin would spend lots of time together, baseball having brought them back. kevin and rolf remained close year round, rolf supporting kevin during football season and kevin supporting rolf at his theater performances, although theater was ‘nerdy’ in his unwarranted opinion.

to everyone's immense surprise, nazz had joined a band. she had joined a rock-n-roll jazz band with marie kanker and rolf, as well as two other boys and the occasional sarah on backup vocals. nazz had also joined the d&d league, per request of ed, and had seemed to be enjoying that. in the summer she played softball, also with marie, and had spent a great portion of each season trying to convince sarah to play.

nazz had grown into someone that double d deeply admired. she was authorative, inclusive, open, and stood firm in herself and her beliefs. she hadn't been interested in showing off, focusing primarily on connection and including others. the other boys in his grade had teased her for her interest in make up and fashion, and nazz didn't care. she enjoyed ‘feminine’ things because they made her happy, just like shredding on her guitar and playing d&d and other typically ‘masculine’ things made her happy. she did what she wanted to do, and she had told double d that even if she was applying make up or learning how to kick start a car engine to impress someone, than what's so wrong with that? what's wrong with wanting to look nice for someone, or wanting to be able to help them? what's wrong with having pride in yourself?

double d had went home after that conversation and started crying. he couldn't stop, and he didn't understand why he had been crying in the first place. he wasn't much of a crier at all-in fact he hadn't cried in months-but when nazz had explained that to him, he supposed he realized how much he cared about her. he realized that the kind of growth it takes to reach that conclusion could only stem from something changing, and he realized that an inevitable and painful part of growth is change.

he had also realized that change triggered advancement, which triggered the discovery of philosophies like the one nazz lived by.

it had also come to mind that to develop such a welcoming and independent philosophy, nazz may have experienced something that was possibly quite traumatizing.

it was the same string of thoughts that double d had regarding the look on eddy’s face before they parted ways for the night. the humid july night buzzed with cicadas and secondhand smoke hung suspended under the artificial buzz of the street light near their houses. a roar of laughter from eddy followed by a the scheming, sly smirk, the kind where you try to stop your teeth from showing but it happens anyway, the light producing a halo effect upon his best friend and leaving double d in a glowy haze. the way eddy’s nose scrunches slightly with the smile and the way his deep, spruce blue eyes stare coyly at him before he takes a final drag of a blunt rolled in a way the should be considered a violation of the herb's personal rights. his eyes mischievous but distant as his lips and lungs kill the joint for good, the image of eddy flicking the discarded paper away and exhaling the smoke upwards. following this dramatic gesture, was what eddy had said to double d moments before he had said goodnight on that warm july evening.

'd, there's no point in me stayin’ after graduation. nothin’ left to stay for once you and lumpy leave for school. i'm leaving this shithole, one way or another.’

double d remembers that moment exactly. the moment that triggered everything to follow, the specific moment when he had realized that he was absolutely terrified of losing his best friend in a way that hadn't previously aligned with his stasis levels. he remembers eddy waving goodbye, calling something about ‘catching him later,’ and double d paced back home and locked himself in his room.

he thought of what nazz had said earlier that day when the older kids of rhe cul-de-sac had gathered at rolf's for table tennis and an excuse to finish a pack of twisted teas. that it isn't wrong to want. it was, in fact, a fundamental function of a sentient creatures existence, and that the external shame that people project on others for having desires in inherently hypocritical. nazz, with her laid back attitude and approachable demeanor, sharing the wisdom of a life once lived through self-criticism.

he thought of what eddy had said about leaving this place, one way or another, and it was then that double d let the pieces of his strained conscious unravel and descended into a fit of choking through tears.

it was becoming very obvious to that eddward that he was entering an entirely different plane of trouble.

- end

if i spelled something wrong no i didn't . gn

#ed edd n eddy #eene #cul de sac #eddeddy #this is my fic and im making nazz cool #joeys joints #get joed

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