#sorry I'm a downer

[huntingsoundwaves]

Sharing the first song that made me fall in love with the band

[krissielee]

Nine people I'd like to get to know better

@artknifeandglue tagged me on this thing, and I shoulda done it earlier but I've had a rough few weeks on a personal level, so ... doing it now.

Last song: Bad Reputation by Joan Jett

Favorite color: Most shades of green. I don't have a favorite favorite, but the deeper ones are definitely more my speed.

Last tv show: The Simpsons. I absolutely had to do the same marathon for my dad that I did when my mom died. I went between that and RWRB this time, though. I needed happy mindless joy.

Sweet/spicy/savory: Sweet, for sure. I'm allergic to capsaicin anyway, and I do like savory, but I usually reach for the sweet things.

Relationship status: Single and ace, but in an unhealthy parasocial relationship with Taylor Zakhar Perez.

Last google: "clock cremation urn" to show to my coworker who offered to buy one for me as a Christmas gift. For a less sad answer, the search before that was "cheese advent"

Current obsession: Red, White & Royal Blue. I'm predictable as hell, lol.

Tagging ... hmm. @machtaholic @frost-pink @the-coolest-bowtie @the-njnb @adramofpoison @njwoman @revivedicarus @paxdracona and @trekkiepirate ... if y'all wanna. No pressure.

And sorry to be a downer with my answers but that's where we are right now.

[emotionalcadaver]

Having one of those days where I wanna delete everything I've ever written and crawl into a hole to hide for forever.

Don't worry, I'm not actually gonna. My brain is just being stupid.

[ceaseless-watchers-special-girl]

wait why are we so excited about the tape recorders what do we think it means

don't get me wrong i was just as excited as the rest of you i was acting like "tape recorder" was some kind of code item

it's not though. it's just another way for us to listen in on what the gays are doing. the reason we were using computers and electronic devices before was because the fears (or this universe's equivalent of them) have evolved to use something that is more readily available, which makes sense.

in the absence of any other electronic devices, such as in the burnt remains of the magnus institute, manchester, they went for any readily available device, the closest of which was probably a tape recorder. we know that there were tape recorders in the institute long before jon started using them for statements, perhaps even before the web started to use them (i'm kind of shaky on the lore, apologies) so as far as i can tell there's no obvious connection to be made here???

we're all well within our rights to go batshit about it, of course. but i'm not sure what it means, if anything at all. it seems like the perfect way for jonny and alex to get us excited and then go "ha! made you look!"

i have no doubt now that they are going to include some of tma into tmagp — they've included way too many references to write them all off as red herrings. but i'm not sure the tape recorder is as big a deal as we all think it is

[ageless-aislynn]

I legit thought my computer was going to explode a few minutes ago. The Nvidia card made a sound like it had been literally kicked in the nuts into high gear. Everything froze. Then all 3 sets of considerable fans in the case blasted on. Hard shutting down (holding the power button down) did not work for about 10 very long seconds, giving me plenty of time to wonder if this was how death was going to come for me. I honestly kinda wish it would have. This thing might as well kill me as a grand finale.

In other news, Dell removed their most current BIOS and the previous 3 versions. I'm sure there's nothing suspicious about that and that everything Dell is doing is really cool and awesome and will promote perfectly working computers.

I know it's not all Dell PCs but, God bless, it's more than just one or two, if my research proves anything. I wish I could get a refund so I could trade this off for something that actually works. I wish I'd never bought it. Maybe I can save towards some entry level PC that can't game or vid (which is no different from what I have right now) but might not make me feel like I'm taking my life in my hands just turning it on. I don't want to be scared of my own computer and I actually really am of this one.

If I disappear for good, just know I love you all and I died doing the thing I love the most: endless computer repairs. 😑

I'm joking... well, about loving endless computer repairs at least. ☠️

[cecils-dragons]

My brain is so bad right now so uh, if anyone has any fun ideas for me to draw/talk about please shoot it my way. Preferably about my characters or just fun dragon stuff but I'm so out of it I don't really care at this point.

[hjartasalt]

My beloved Gríma. The most wonderful cat I have ever had. I last held you a year ago and now I will never get to do so again. Sofðu rótt, elsku engillinn minn. Ég hef saknað þín á hverjum degi síðan ég flutti í burtu og nú mun ég sakna þín það sem eftir er.

[simplepotatofarmer]

also i just lost my cat i've had for 14 years. we adopted him and he was about 17/18 and i'm not really sure how to feel. like sad but i think we all knew it was going to happen soon.

[sigilmint]

deleted the third reblog of that art bc I've done a lot of good work over the years to get over the temptation to do comparison, temptation to agonize over notes, etc, but that post is really testing how far I've come with that and at this point a third reblog just felt embarrassing and sad

[parachutingkitten]

Man. I really thought we'd get some of our big questions answered.

Like, at the very least some answers about master wu and what caused the merge. Some sense of progress on Jay perhaps.

But nothing...

Nothing but more empty teases about the future.

They set up a whole mystery installment, and then invented brand new mysteries to solve instead of solving any of the mysteries we already have, like what-

[confusedhalfofthetime]

I haven't even watched season 2 of Loki but I saw a pic of the scene where Loki tells Mobius "If I don't make it back" and I started FUMING.

Like, do you know how many times I've seen scenes like that?

They keep making scenes where it seems like a love confession is on the brink of happening and then it never does. And then they end up with a girl.

Like the whole season they make the two male characters stare longingly at each other or say how much they care for the other or they literally make them ready to sacrifice themselves for the other but yeah they're just best pall!!1!!1

It's giving queerbaiting and I'm FULL of it.

[multicolour-ink]

So I started writing a full run down of what happened to me this year, but it got so heavy thinking back on all of it, as this year was pretty up and down for me.

I came into 2023 in a state of grief due to a loss of someone very close to the family. Then I had multiple health scares and visits to doctors. And on top of it all my mental health (anxiety and depression) has been up and down so much throughout this year that I don't even know how I got to this point.

I thank each and every one of you for the support 🫂💗💗💗 Thank you for hearing me out whenever I got low.

Truly though, as of my mindset right now, I'm nervous about 2024. I'm turning 30 and according to some people that means I am "passed my prime" and I need to have low expectations for everything and I want to make some changes. The only thing is that time goes by so fast, and is unpredictable. And that scares me. It's difficult to have a positive mind set when I've been going through so much mentally this year.

The main positives I have come to learn is that I do know what I want, and I am truly at a place where I feel I actually know what the f**k I am doing. Which is far different than to my mid-late 20s where I had no clue at all 🤭

All I can really say is that I have love and support around me so there is that 🫂💗

I truly hope that everyone has a Happy New Year, and wherever you are in life - you have support!

[bettertwin1]

Not to sound lame but sometimes I feel obligated to answer certain asks, but the asks really hurt to answer. I'm not sure how to vocalise it or ask you all to stop or how to say which ones hurt but yeah.

[apoptoses]

Would you ever write genderbent devil’s minion?

gosh this is a complicated topic for me.

So despite being a lesbian myself, I interact with very very little lesbian/wlw media.

I'm at the masc/butch end of the spectrum and I just don't see myself represented in like 95% of wlw media. It's all femme4femme, or at best contains a 'woman with a haircut between a pixie and a bob, who still wears copious amounts of makeup but wears jeans from the mens section'. Or there's a butch character but she's treated as the butt of jokes. Hell even in art I can rarely find a woman like me. I unfollowed a really popular queer artist because they would draw literally every type of queer person/couple or throuple except for a masc/butch woman.

And I rarely interact with gender swap aus or art because like...it often seems to hinge on heteronormative ideals of femininity (and sometimes even feels fetishizing but that's a whole other rant). Long hair and lipstick and heels and skirts. I've yet to see a gender swap that includes a character whose identity is woman, but whose identity also hinges on being a butch/masc/stud. Seeing endless femme4femme stuff ends up making me feel sad.

I can't divorce my perspective from any piece of wlw media I would ever create, and it just seems like my type of perspective isn't wanted.

And like normally I'm all about creating the content I desire to see but it's almost too vulnerable a thing for me. I have enough trouble getting people irl to respect my identity and not thrust socially acceptable feminine things upon me, trying to do it via the medium of fic? Idk, if the piece wasn't appreciated I would feel so crushed.

Which is a shame because I can think of angles to work from that are interesting to me. But I just don't think it's what anyone is looking for when they ask for gender swap!

[doctorweebmd]

I know the 8 years are jarring but I saw someone on Twitter point out that on page 11? Up top. When Deku says “ever since we started working” the photo shows him actively working as a hero with the rest of them. So what if 👀 he was a pro for a few years and then the suit only took 4 years or so to get made? Maybe I’m being delusional 🥹

hmmm i went to the official chapter to check what you were referring to! I honestly thought that looked like an action figure or a statue of the whole class or something because it looks like its on a podium?

idk with the placement of the panel of Izuku's hand with the last of the embers burning out imply that he lost OFA at the end of high school around graduation time, so i do honestly think its unlikely he worked as a pro for any time after school. though it WOULD have been weird for him to start out as a teacher at age 18 - I guess we can definitely speculate! Even Quirkless he's a really strong strategist so it would have been cool if he was working for one of the agencies his friends are at doing dispatch - like, he knows all the heroes that exist and which Quirks are best for certain situations!

i do appreciate that Horikoshi left a lot out and for speculation. i think we can all interpret it in a variety of ways!

i admit i'm in the vast minority that feels like the chapter was very bittersweet and that the eight-year gap is particularly painful. I feel like i interpreted in a way that Izuku was very much hurting and lonely but didn't want to tell anyone and make them feel bad. it gives me the feeling like he just smiled and supported everyone and pretended everything was fine.

like... EVERY SINGLE ONE of his friends went on to be a pro hero. Everyone except him. And he loves them and cheers them on and buys their merch and deep inside he feels a little jealous and then hates himself for feeling jealous, keeps telling himself that he was never meant to be a hero, so its okay - but also, is it?

and i'm sure they kept in touch, and tried to support him and cheer him on too, but, its like...if after high school, all of your friends go to the same college. except you. and sure, you'll talk and see each other, but they'll have jokes and teachers and classes to talk about, and you'll still feel a little left out, right?

i'm glad that he has a chance to live out his dream, and, honestly, better a little late than never! you're 100% right in the sense that, like, i for some reason didn't process that he probably didn't become a teacher immediately after graduating from high school, and can definitely have been doing hero or hero-adjacent things for a couple of years before becoming midoriya-sensei!