#sorry I’m slow at replying lately
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linkito · 4 months ago
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Link, Liiiiiiiiink! I was going through your draws tag (and was 👀 at the expressions practice) but Liiiiiiiiiiiink what happened to Scar's cane? The one made from the spear? -🎀
Oh, he uses it for most of the time in the Bad Server. It was made from one of those awful spears like the one that pierced him during the Incident™, but not the same spear, thankfully agdkfhsjd
It probably didn’t make it back with him to Hermitcraft since the rescue was very rushed and Scar was definitely not using it at the time, but he has other canes back home!
Better ones! And ones he can put silly stickers on! 🥰
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old —> new, since I’m not sure I ever posted a version with the newer cane!
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icouldntfindquiet · 7 months ago
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Hi anon, feel free to send it in and I can take a look. ❤️
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tired-biscuit · 1 year ago
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i would like to thank you all for being so patient with me when it comes to me replying to the thirsts in my inbox
because like……. you never know what you’re gonna get; sometimes it’s a blurb, a drabble that turns into a 4k fic, an actual drabble, or a 26k one-shot lmao
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poltergeist-coffee · 2 years ago
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the most wilbur ever tells quackity about the whole phil situation is his fear of phil forgetting him, and even telling him that was an accident. none of the kids like talking about it really, especially not with people they don't trust. actually the only person they do talk about it with other than eachother is forever because he has the same fears
and no one really knows what event actually lead to phil eating the scale, all they really know is that it was dangerous enough to force his hand. not even phil knows exactly what happened since that whole day stays extremely foggy in his memories, he just knows he made the decision to protect his loved ones
not even he knows he swallowed the scale in an act of pure love to keep forever safe
-🪶
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/lh
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amkyor · 17 days ago
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Hey! I'm a big fan, annnd I have a bakugou x y/n idea... where bakugou hasn't been paying attention to y/n his girlfriend lately and it's been lonely.... so y/n is watching a romance anime with Mina and y/n says... "I wish I had that"....and then Mina ask if she loves bakugou and she says ...."hes okay"..... but the whole time bakugou and his friend kirishima were listening....and bakugou his mind is like "I'm a bad boyfriend? Does she love me? Im...okay?"
K. BAKUGO SHORT STORY
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Synopsis: Bakugo has been distant toward his girlfriend (you), and she realizes how much it is actually affecting her while watching a romance movie that includes the love that she wishes she had.
Short note: Chapter 23 of my Bakugo x Reader Fanfiction is out now! If you like my stories on here, I'm sure you'll like my fanfiction, so go check it out! The link is at the end of this post!!
Distance Between Us:
It all started slowly, too slow for you to realize.
The day you started to notice it was when it was late in the evening, and you were sitting on the couch, waiting for Bakugo to come home.
He had promised to spend the evening with you after work, but as the hours ticked by, your excitement turned into frustration. Finally, you heard the front door open.
Bakugo walked in, still in his hero uniform, his face tired and serious. "Sorry, I got held up at work. Some idiot caused a mess in the city," he muttered, tossing his gloves onto the table.
You smiled, trying to be understanding. "It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re home now. Want me to heat up the dinner I made for us?"
"Not hungry," he replied shortly, already pulling out his phone. "I need to check the patrol schedule for tomorrow. There’s a lot going on."
You sighed, your shoulders dropping. "Katsuki, can’t it wait? You’ve been working all day. We barely get time together."
But he didn’t seem to hear you, his eyes glued to the screen. "Huh? Yeah, sure, whatever you say."
The evening dragged on, and though he was physically present, his mind remained consumed by hero work.
You ended up eating dinner alone while he sat at the kitchen table, typing away on his laptop.
---
Another time was when he had made plans out of nowhere to hang out with his friends and ditch out on the two of you had planned.
It was a rare weekend when Bakugo didn’t have patrol or missions lined up.
You had planned a quiet day together—something simple, just the two of you.
But as you were setting up breakfast, his phone buzzed on the counter.
Bakugo glanced at the screen and smirked. "It’s Kirishima. He wants to hit the gym and grab lunch afterward. I’ll be back later."
Your stomach sank. "I thought today was for us? We haven’t had a day off together in weeks, Katsuki."
He blinked as if realizing for the first time that you might have feelings about this. "We can hang out later. It’s not like I’m gone all day. Plus, I haven’t seen the guys in a while."
You bit your lip, trying to keep your disappointment in check. "But we haven’t seen each other in a while either."
He paused for a second, then ruffled your hair in a halfhearted gesture. "Come on, it’s not a big deal. I’ll see you tonight." Before you could argue further, he was already grabbing his gym bag and heading out the door.
---
Another day came, and he did the same.
Bakugo’s dedication to his work often left him exhausted, and his sleep schedule was all over the place.
One night, you stayed up late, waiting for him to come to bed.
You had something important to talk about, but he was still in the living room, sprawled out on the couch, catching up on sleep.
"Katsuki," you called softly, standing in the doorway.
He grunted, barely lifting his head. "What is it?"
"I wanted to talk to you about something. It’s been on my mind for a while."
He groaned, sitting up slightly. "Can it wait? I just got back from a double shift, and I’m dead tired."
"But it’s important," you insisted, stepping closer.
He sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Y/n, I can’t deal with anything serious right now. Let’s talk tomorrow, okay?"
The next day came and went, and so did the conversation. You couldn’t help but wonder if you’d ever get the timing right.
---
Then, of course, came another.
One evening, Bakugo was in the backyard, practicing his explosions while you watched from the patio.
You had been waiting for him to finish so you could spend some quality time together, but he was completely absorbed in his training.
"Hey, Katsuki," you called out, waving at him. "How much longer are you going to be out here?"
"Not now, babe," he shouted back, his voice carrying over the sound of crackling explosions. "I’m almost done!"
Almost turned into an hour, and by the time he came inside, you were curled up on the couch, half-asleep.
He walked past you, grabbing a water bottle from the kitchen.
"Sorry, I lost track of time," he said, but there was no apology in his tone.
You gave him a small smile, too tired to argue. "It’s okay," you mumbled, though deep down, you wondered if he even realized how much you had been waiting for him.
---
In each of these scenarios, Bakugo’s priorities—whether work, friends, or personal routines—seemed to overshadow his time with you. While his intentions might not be malicious, his actions often left you feeling overlooked and craving the attention he gave to everything else in his life.
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The evening was calm, the golden light of the setting sun filtering through the kitchen window, casting a warm glow across the counters.
You stood at the stove, carefully stirring the simmering pot of stew. The gentle aroma of sautéed vegetables, rich broth, and spices filled the air, blending seamlessly with the soft hum of the overhead fan.
Tonight, you had decided to prepare something special—something hearty and comforting, like the conversation you hoped to have with Bakugo.
It had been a while since the two of you had truly spent time together.
His hero work had consumed most of his days, leaving you with fleeting moments of his presence.
You understood, of course, the weight of his responsibilities, but that didn’t make the distance any easier.
So, as a gesture of love and an attempt to reconnect, you had spent the better part of the evening preparing this meal.
The kitchen was cozy, lit by the soft glow of under-cabinet lights.
Plates were set neatly on the table, silverware arranged perfectly beside them.
A bottle of chilled sparkling water stood in the center, and the faint crackle of the stovetop added a soothing rhythm to the room.
You glanced at the clock on the wall, noting the time. He should be home any minute now.
You adjusted the flame under the pot, letting the stew bubble gently, and moved to check on the freshly baked bread cooling on the counter.
The sound of the front door opening broke the quiet, followed by the rustling of heavy boots on the doormat.
Your heart gave a small flutter at the familiar noise.
He was home.
You didn’t look up from your task, your focus fixed on the pot as you gave it one last stir.
Toward the front door, the faint creak of the door closing reached your ears, followed by the soft thud of a duffle bag hitting the floor.
Bakugo’s presence filled the space immediately, even without a word.
The faint scent of smoke and ash mingled with the aroma of dinner, a signature of his return after a long day on patrol.
You heard the stretch of leather as he raised his arms high above his head, likely working out the stiffness from hours of action.
His footsteps echoed softly against the hardwood floor as he made his way down the hall.
You could picture him rubbing the back of his neck, his hair likely a mess from the day’s exertion.
The sound of his approach grew louder, each step deliberate yet unhurried, as if he were easing back into the calm of home.
You stayed at the stove, stirring slowly, waiting for him to join you in the kitchen, the moment of connection hanging in the air like the steam rising from the pot.
The clatter of the wooden spoon against the pot ceased as you set it down gently on the counter.
Wiping your hands on the apron tied snugly around your waist, you turned toward the kitchen's pillared entrance.
The soft shuffle of Bakugo’s steps nearing the kitchen tugged at your curiosity, and you couldn’t help but abandon your task momentarily.
You stepped around the corner, leaning casually against the frame of the kitchen entrance.
Resting your hand lightly on the wall, you peeked out toward him.
The sight of Bakugo, mid-stretch with his arms behind his head, immediately brought a fond smile to your lips.
His usual scowl was softened by a tiredness that clung to him, his messy ash-blond hair catching the dim light of the hallway.
He hadn’t noticed you yet, too busy absentmindedly rubbing the back of his neck, likely sore from a long day.
His broad shoulders rolled slightly as he worked out the tension, the faint sound of his knuckles popping filling the quiet space.
The corners of your lips curled further upward as you admired him in his element—worn out yet still exuding the confidence and strength you loved about him.
Before you could say anything, his crimson gaze lifted, finally catching sight of you standing there.
His expression didn’t shift much—just a subtle raise of his brows as if to acknowledge your presence.
You straightened slightly, your smile warm and inviting as you prepared to greet him.
But before you could utter a word, he spoke first, his gravelly voice breaking the silence.
“I’m going upstairs to shower. Gotta get this grime off my body.” His tone was matter-of-fact, and he started walking toward you without breaking stride, cracking his knuckles as he moved.
Your smile didn’t falter as he approached, though the hurriedness of his words made you hesitate. “Oh, well, that’s great,” you began, your voice light and teasing. “But don’t take too long becau—”
“Oh yeah, by the way, before I forget,” he interrupted, his voice cutting through yours without a hint of malice, just his usual bluntness. “The gang and I are gonna hang out later, so I won’t be home for long.”
The abruptness of his words hit you like a splash of cold water. Your mouth hung slightly open mid-sentence, the rest of your words caught in your throat.
Bakugo’s gaze didn’t linger long, already focused ahead as though his announcement was nothing out of the ordinary.
Bakugo’s heavy boots thudded softly against the wooden floor as he approached you, his expression unreadable but relaxed.
He stopped just in front of you, his tall frame towering slightly over yours.
The familiar scent of ash and sweat lingered faintly, a testament to his grueling day.
Without a word, his hand reached out, rough but warm, and landed gently on your head.
His fingers ruffled through your hair in a way that was both playful and dismissive, tousling it slightly.
A light smirk played on his lips as he pulled his hand back, his crimson eyes meeting yours briefly.
“I know you can handle things here, so I’ll leave you to it,” he said, his voice low and casual, like he hadn’t just brushed past the idea of spending time with you.
As you stood out in front of him, the confidence and courage you had gathered from cooking in the kitchen had disappeared.
Now that you felt this way, there was no way you were going to bring up spending time with him over dinner.
Even though you had spent all evening preparing this relaxing for the both of you to enjoy, you couldn’t bring yourself to to tell him.
You were scared that if you had opened up, he might have gotten angry and dismissed all your worries with his furrowed brows.
Your heart sank a little at his words, but you forced a small smile, not wanting to let it show.
He turned on his heel without a second glance, his footsteps carrying him toward the staircase that led to the second floor of your shared home.
As he walked, his broad shoulders swayed slightly, his relaxed demeanor a stark contrast to the tension that suddenly gripped your chest.
You stood frozen for a moment, your mouth hanging slightly open, the words you wanted to say stuck somewhere in your throat.
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, but you blinked rapidly, willing them away. You hated how they burned, how they threatened to spill over.
This wasn’t the first time Bakugo had brushed things off, but tonight, with the effort you’d put into dinner and the mounting distance you felt between you two, it stung more than usual.
He reached the first step of the staircase, his hand brushing against the railing as he prepared to ascend.
At you stood, something inside you snapped—a small but resolute voice urging you not to let the moment slip by.
Swallowing hard, you gathered the courage you had left, your voice trembling slightly but steady enough to cut through the air.
“Can I go too?”
Bakugo paused mid-step, his back still facing you, as the silence stretched between you both.
For a moment, you wondered if he had even heard you or if he’d continue up the stairs without a response.
Then, he turned his head slightly, revealing his side profile, his crimson eyes glancing at you.
“You wanna come?” he asked, his tone even and unreadable, a single brow raised in surprise.
Your hands instinctively came together, fidgeting as you avoided his gaze.
“Yeah,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. Gathering a bit more courage, you glanced up at him, noticing his blank expression.
It only lasted a second before you looked down again, unsure how your request would be received. “I mean, if that’s okay…”
Bakugo stared at you for a beat longer, his brow still raised as if trying to gauge your seriousness.
Then, his features softened, his raised brow lowering as he gave a small, nonchalant nod.
“Yeah, uh, sure,” he said, his voice carrying a casualness that made it hard to tell how he really felt.
Without another word, he turned back toward the stairs.
Relief washed over you, and a small smile crept onto your face as you followed his movements with your eyes.
It wasn’t much, but his agreement made you feel a little better, a small step toward closing the gap that had been forming between you two.
As Bakugo reached the first step of the staircase, he stopped again, his hand on the railing.
He turned his head just enough to look back at you, his expression neutral but firm.
“I’m leaving by 6, so get ready,” he said, his tone leaving no room for negotiation.
Then, without waiting for a response, he ascended the stairs, his heavy footsteps echoing through the quiet house.
You stood there in the kitchen, your smile slowly fading as his words sank in.
Glancing at the half-finished dinner you’d worked so hard on, your arms dropped to your sides, mirroring the exhaustion settling in your chest.
The kitchen felt colder now, emptier, as you stood there alone, staring at the plans you’d made that now felt insignificant.
With a deep breath, you tried to shake off the weight of disappointment, forcing yourself to move and tidy up the counter.
But no matter how much you willed yourself to focus on the task at hand, the sting of his casual dismissal lingered, leaving a quiet ache in its wake.
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The soft hum of the Porsche's engine filled the quiet evening air as Bakugo sat in the driver’s seat, his hand drumming absentmindedly on the steering wheel.
His gaze occasionally flicked toward the house, his sharp crimson eyes scanning for any sign of you.
The minutes ticked by, and though he didn’t say it out loud, he was growing impatient.
But there was a part of him that understood why you were taking your time—he had sprung this last-minute outing on you, and you deserved a moment to get ready properly.
Inside, you were slipping on your white Converse, carefully tying the laces with precision.
The finishing touch to your outfit had just been added—a chic combination of blue jeans, a navy blue tank top, and a white cardigan that fell perfectly against your frame.
You smoothed down the fabric, giving yourself a once-over in the mirror by the door.
Your navy blue purse rested comfortably on your shoulder, and the messy bun you’d styled earlier sat perfectly atop your head, with the white headband completing the look.
Satisfied, you grabbed your keys and reached for the door handle.
As you stepped outside, the soft glow of the porch light illuminated your figure.
The evening air was cool against your skin, and the faint scent of freshly cut grass lingered.
You glanced toward the sleek black Porsche parked in the driveway, where Bakugo sat waiting for you.
Inside the car, Bakugo looked up as the light from the open door seeped out, drawing his attention.
His sharp gaze landed on you, and for a moment, his breath hitched.
You looked stunning—effortlessly chic yet understated, the kind of beauty that didn’t need to try too hard.
The way the soft curls framed your face, the navy blue of your tank top complementing your skin, and the casual elegance of your outfit made his heart skip a beat.
He blinked, trying to maintain his usual composure, but the faintest tint of pink crept onto his cheeks, betraying him.
It was subtle, just enough to hint at the effect you had on him, but it was there.
His grip on the steering wheel tightened slightly as he tore his eyes away for a brief second, trying to recover.
"Damn," he muttered under his breath, glancing at the dashboard as if it could somehow distract him.
But his gaze inevitably drifted back to you, his expression softening in a way only you could bring out in him.
He didn't say anything just yet—he wasn’t the type to gush—but the way his cheeks betrayed a rare blush spoke volumes.
The soft hum of the Porsche’s engine was steady as Bakugo sat, his hand draped nonchalantly over the steering wheel while the other rested against his mouth.
His sharp crimson eyes flicked away from you as you descended the steps toward the car, trying to keep his focus elsewhere.
The blush that had crept onto his cheeks earlier lingered faintly, and though he wouldn’t admit it, seeing you like this had thrown him off his usual composure.
You opened the passenger door with care, stepping into the car and adjusting yourself in the plush seat.
The faint scent of Bakugo’s cologne mingled with the new-car smell, giving the cabin a warmth that was uniquely him.
As you closed the door gently behind you, you glanced up to see him leaning against the driver’s side, his elbow propped on the car door and his hand casually gripping the wheel.
His relaxed posture was natural, but the way his eyes darted toward you from the corners of his vision betrayed a subtle curiosity.
“Sorry I took so long,” you said softly, brushing a loose curl behind your ear.
Your voice broke the quiet tension, and you weren’t sure if you imagined his lips twitching into a faint smirk.
“It’s fine,” he replied, his tone gruff yet calm, as he adjusted himself in the seat and placed both hands on the wheel.
Hearing the simplicity of his response made you smile, a quiet warmth blooming in your chest.
You carefully removed your bag from your shoulder, placing it neatly on your lap.
Bakugo, meanwhile, shifted the car into reverse, the soft rumble of the engine vibrating beneath you as he backed out of the driveway with precision.
You stole a quick glance at him from the corners of your eyes.
The streetlights outside cast a warm, golden hue that framed his sharp jawline and stern features as he focused on maneuvering the car.
He looked so effortlessly confident, so in control—it was hard not to admire him.
Reaching up, you flipped open the vanity mirror above your head, giving yourself a quick once-over.
You smoothed down a stray curl and checked your lipstick, making sure everything was still in place.
Satisfied, you closed the mirror with a soft click and adjusted in your seat, letting your gaze wander back to him.
The quiet of the ride was broken only by the sound of the tires rolling over asphalt and the faint hum of the radio playing low in the background.
You bit your lip lightly, debating whether or not to say what had been on your mind.
Finally, you took a small breath, your fingers beginning to fidget nervously with the strap of your bag.
“Sooo…” you began, your voice tentative as you glanced out the window, gathering your thoughts.
Bakugo didn’t respond immediately, his focus remaining on the road ahead. His silence urged you to continue, so you did.
“How do I look?” you asked, your tone light yet tinged with curiosity.
Your gaze flickered toward him briefly before quickly looking back down at your lap, where your fingers continued to toy with your bag strap.
The quiet hum of the car filled the space between you and Bakugo, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife.
His eyes were fixed on the road, one hand on the wheel, while the other rested lazily on the gear shift.
You waited patiently, watching him through your peripheral vision, hoping for some kind of reaction to your question.
He didn’t answer immediately, his gaze momentarily darting toward you before returning to the street ahead.
The streetlights flickered as they passed, casting warm, golden hues across his sharp features.
His silence stretched on, and for a moment, you wondered if he hadn’t heard you.
Finally, Bakugo turned his head slightly, his crimson eyes flickering toward you.
His gaze traveled up and down, taking in the effort you’d put into your outfit—the way your cardigan fell over your tank top, the way your jeans fit perfectly, and the way you’d styled your hair just so.
His expression remained stoic, but his eyes lingered just a beat longer than usual before he turned back to the road.
“You look,” he began, his voice even though there was a slight edge of hesitation.
He glanced at you again, briefly meeting your expectant gaze before focusing back on the street.
You could see his jaw tighten slightly, as if he were searching for the right words. “Good.”
That was it. Just one single, lackluster word.
Your shoulders sank immediately, the corners of your mouth pulling down as disappointment washed over you.
You slumped back into the passenger seat, crossing your arms loosely over your chest and shifting your gaze out the window.
You had spent so much time getting ready, hoping that maybe this time, he’d notice—really notice—and say something that would make you feel special.
But “good” was all you got.
Bakugo, on the other hand, was far from unaffected, though he certainly didn’t show it.
His mind was racing, replaying the moment he’d glanced at you and the way your face had lit up with hope.
His knuckles tightened slightly on the steering wheel, and a bead of sweat formed at his temple as frustration with himself began to build.
His brows furrowed as he stole another glance at you.
You were staring out the window now, your expression unreadable but your body language screaming disappointment.
“Tch,” he muttered under his breath, gripping the wheel tighter.
You remained quiet, sinking further into your seat as the car rolled through the neighborhood streets.
Your fingers toyed with the edge of your cardigan, your mind replaying the moment over and over.
Maybe you’d set yourself up for disappointment.
Maybe this was just who he was—gruff, blunt, and not the type to shower you with compliments.
Still, you couldn’t help the small ache in your chest.
Bakugo’s jaw clenched as he continued to drive, the silence between you both growing heavier with each passing second.
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The drive to Kirishima’s house was silent, the tension lingering like an unspoken weight between you and Bakugo.
He didn’t try to make conversation, and honestly, you weren’t sure you’d be able to respond even if he did.
Your disappointment sat heavy in your chest, though you were doing your best to push it down and keep your composure.
When the car finally rolled to a stop in front of Kirishima’s house, Bakugo shifted into park and stepped out without a word, slamming his door behind him.
You sighed softly, your fingers gripping the strap of your purse as you reached for the handle of the passenger door.
Opening it, you slid out of the car, closing it gently behind you.
Bakugo was already several steps ahead, his strong strides carrying him toward the house without so much as a glance back at you.
You swallowed hard, your throat feeling tight as you followed behind him, your fingers nervously playing with the strap of your purse.
You felt small and distant, the space between you and Bakugo feeling far more than just physical.
As Bakugo reached the front porch, the sound of laughter and chatter drifted through the air, spilling out from behind the closed door.
The lively atmosphere of the gathering inside only seemed to amplify the quiet distance you felt from him.
Bakugo raised a hand and knocked on the door firmly, stepping back slightly as he waited.
You stopped a few paces behind him, your hands gripping your purse strap tightly as your mind raced.
You were determined to stand tall, to keep your emotions in check and not let anyone see how you were feeling.
The door swung open after a few seconds, revealing Kirishima’s grinning face.
His red hair was as wild as ever, and his cheerful energy was almost infectious.
“Yo, man! You made it!” Kirishima greeted Bakugo with a hearty slap on the shoulder before turning his attention to you. “Hey! Good to see you too!”
“Hey, Kiri,” you said softly, forcing a small smile as you stepped closer to the door.
“Come on in! Everyone’s already here,” Kirishima said, stepping aside to let the two of you in.
You followed Bakugo inside, the warmth and energy of the room enveloping you immediately.
Mina, Jirou, Denki, and Sero were sprawled out in the living room, laughing and chatting amongst themselves.
Mina was the first to notice your arrival, her eyes lighting up as she waved enthusiastically.
“Hey, you two!” Mina called out, jumping up from her seat and rushing over to you.
She wrapped you in a quick hug, her bubbly personality as bright as always. “You look so cute tonight! I love your outfit!”
“Thanks, Mina,” you replied, your smile faltering slightly as you glanced toward Bakugo.
He was already making his way toward the group, offering a brief nod of acknowledgment before settling into a seat near Sero.
Denki grinned, leaning back on the couch and tossing a chip into his mouth. “Look who finally decided to show up. We thought you might’ve bailed on us, Bakugo.”
“Shut it, Sparky,” Bakugo shot back, though there was no real bite in his tone.
As the group erupted into laughter, you found yourself lingering near the edge of the room, unsure where to place yourself.
Mina noticed your hesitation and grabbed your arm gently.
“Come sit with us! You can’t just stand there looking all pretty and quiet,” she teased, leading you toward the group.
You let her guide you, settling into a spot on the couch beside Jirou.
The lively conversation around you was a stark contrast to the swirling emotions in your chest, but you did your best to blend in, laughing when it felt appropriate and nodding along to the banter.
All the while, your eyes occasionally flicked toward Bakugo.
He was laughing with Sero and Denki, his usual gruff demeanor softened slightly by the presence of his friends.
But not once did he look your way, and that small detail gnawed at you more than you wanted to admit.
You inhaled deeply, forcing yourself to focus on the moment and not the ache in your chest.
Tonight was about being with friends, and you were determined to make the most of it, even if things with Bakugo felt more complicated than ever.
You sat on the couch, nestled between Jirou and Mina, trying to focus on their lively conversation.
Bakugo was across the room, laughing with Sero and Denki as if the weight of the world didn’t exist.
You glanced at him briefly, your chest tightening before quickly averting your eyes back to Mina, who was animatedly recounting a story about a recent date with Kirishima.
“So, get this,” Mina said, her face lit with excitement. “Kiri and I went to this new arcade last week, right? And they had this claw machine he swore he could beat. It was filled with these little red dragon plushies—totally his thing, you know?”
Jirou smirked, leaning back against the couch. “Let me guess. He spent way too much money trying to win one?”
“Way too much!” Mina exclaimed, throwing her hands up dramatically. “But he finally got it, and he was so proud of himself. It was adorable.” She giggled, her expression softening.
“Honestly, though, it’s not even about the claw machine. Kiri and I just… we have fun, you know? We go out, we talk about everything.”
Jirou nodded, a small smile tugging at her lips. “That’s exactly how it is with me and Denki. He’s a dork, but he’s my dork. We go to concerts, hang out at record stores, and just… talk. Like, really talk. He tells me about his day, his dreams, even the dumb stuff that happens during patrols. It’s nice, being so connected.”
The warmth in their voices as they spoke about their relationships was palpable, and it made you feel like a shadow in their light.
You shifted in your seat, suddenly hyper-aware of the tightness in your throat.
“And you,” Mina said, turning her bright eyes toward you. “How are things with you and Bakugo?”
Jirou tilted her head, her expression curious but kind. “Yeah, how’s it going? You two seem solid.”
The question hit you like a punch to the gut.
You opened your mouth, but no words came out at first.
Your fingers fidgeted with the hem of your cardigan, and you forced a smile, even as your chest felt like it was caving in.
“Oh, we’re fine,” you said, your voice a little too high-pitched. You cleared your throat quickly, trying to steady yourself. “Everything’s good. Really good.”
Mina beamed. “That’s great! You two are like, the power couple. I mean, he’s Bakugo—grumpy as hell but so in love with you. It’s obvious.”
“Totally,” Jirou added, nodding. “You balance each other out, right? He’s all intensity, and you’re like this calming presence. It works.”
You laughed softly, the sound hollow to your own ears. “Yeah, it works,” you echoed.
They bought it, smiling warmly at you before diving back into their own banter.
But inside, you felt like you were crumbling.
The truth was, things weren’t fine.
They hadn’t been for a while. Bakugo’s constant focus on work, his friends, and his own world had left you feeling like an afterthought.
You glanced at him again.
He was leaning back in his chair, laughing at something Denki said, his sharp features softened by the rare smile on his face.
It was a side of him you loved, but right now, it only made the ache in your chest worse.
Forcing yourself to stay present, you turned back to Mina and Jirou, nodding along to their conversation.
You couldn’t let them see the truth—not here, not now.
So you plastered on your smile and pretended everything was fine, even as the weight of your unspoken feelings threatened to crush you.
---
An hour passed as you, Mina, and Jirou chatted away about everything under the sun—relationships, patrol stories, and even a hilarious moment when Denki shocked himself trying to fix a broken lamp.
Despite the warmth of their company, a small part of you still felt detached, your earlier feelings lingering like a shadow.
Mina, ever the bubbly one, suddenly perked up. “Hey, I just thought of something! Let’s go to the other room and watch a movie! I’ve been dying to see that new romance everyone’s talking about. What do you think?”
Jirou shrugged, a hint of a smile on her face. “Sounds good to me. I could use a break from all the noise out there.”
You hesitated, but the thought of getting away from the others, even for a little while, seemed appealing. “Yeah, sure,” you said softly, your voice steady despite the turmoil inside.
The three of you made your way to a quieter room down the hall.
It was cozier than the bustling main area, with soft lighting and a plush couch that wrapped around most of the room.
The atmosphere immediately felt more intimate and calm, a perfect escape.
Mina grabbed the remote and flopped onto one side of the couch. “Alright, let’s get this show on the road!”
Jirou settled next to her, her legs tucked beneath her while you took the other end of the couch.
The movie started, its opening scenes filled with charming banter and budding romance.
The three of you fell into a comfortable silence, the story drawing you in.
As the movie progressed, the lighthearted moments gave way to more emotional scenes.
The characters faced challenges, their love tested by misunderstandings and miscommunications.
Then, the pivotal scene arrived.
The male lead stood in the rain, his face etched with regret as he argued with the female lead.
Her voice broke as she shouted, tears streaming down her face. “You don’t get it! I feel invisible to you!” she cried, her words hitting too close to home for your comfort.
Your chest tightened as you watched her crumble, her emotions raw and unfiltered.
The male lead, realizing his mistake, stepped forward and pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly as she sobbed against his chest.
Your heart ached, the scene striking a chord that you couldn’t ignore.
The floodgates opened, and before you knew it, tears were streaming down your face.
Your breathing grew shallow, and your palms began to sweat as you clutched the couch cushion beside you.
Mina and Jirou, engrossed in the movie, didn’t seem to notice your reaction at first.
But as you sniffled quietly, Jirou glanced over, her expression softening. “Hey, you okay?” she asked, her voice gentle.
You quickly wiped your cheeks, forcing a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just… really emotional,” you said, your voice wavering slightly.
Mina turned her head, concern flickering in her eyes. “It’s okay to cry, you know. Scenes like this get me every time,” she said, offering you a reassuring smile.
You nodded, appreciating their kindness but feeling exposed nonetheless.
The movie continued, but your mind was elsewhere.
The female lead’s words echoed in your head, intertwining with your own unspoken feelings.
“I feel invisible to you.”
The weight of those words settled in your chest, and though you tried to focus on the screen, the tears wouldn’t stop.
You wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to keep it together, but the truth was, you felt more vulnerable than ever.
The tears came harder, no longer quiet sniffles but soft, trembling sobs that you couldn’t hold back.
The scene on the screen blurred as your vision clouded with tears, and your chest felt impossibly heavy.
Mina and Jirou both turned toward you, their expressions shifting from casual concern to alarm.
“Whoa, hey… are you okay?” Jirou asked, leaning closer, her voice gentle but tinged with worry.
Mina’s brows furrowed, her lips pressing into a thin line.
She grabbed the remote and paused the movie, the room falling into silence except for your shaky breaths.
She scooted closer to you, her hand resting lightly on your arm.
“Alright,” Mina said firmly, her tone serious but warm. “What’s going on? This isn’t just about the movie, is it?”
You shook your head quickly, trying to wipe the tears away with the back of your hand, but they just kept coming.
“It’s nothing,” you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper.
Jirou gave you a skeptical look. “Come on, don’t do that. You’re obviously upset.”
Mina nodded, her grip on your arm tightening just slightly in encouragement. “Yeah, we’re here for you. So whatever it is, just say it.”
For a moment, you hesitated.
The lump in your throat made it hard to speak, and you didn’t want to burden them with your feelings.
But the way they looked at you, genuinely concerned and ready to listen, broke down the last of your defenses.
“It’s… it’s Bakugo,” you finally admitted, your voice cracking as fresh tears rolled down your cheeks. “I just… I feel like we’re drifting apart.”
Mina’s eyes softened, and Jirou tilted her head slightly, her expression thoughtful.
“What do you mean? Did something happen?” Mina asked, leaning forward, her tone gentle now.
You took a shaky breath, your hands fidgeting nervously in your lap. “I don’t know… it’s like he’s always so busy, and when he’s home, it’s like I’m not even there. He doesn’t notice when I try to do things for him. I cooked dinner tonight, hoping we could eat together and talk, but he just brushed it off and left to hang out with you guys.”
Mina’s face fell, a pang of guilt crossing her features. Jirou’s lips pressed together, her brow furrowing.
“I know he’s a hero, and I know his job is demanding, but… I just feel so invisible to him sometimes. Like I’m not a priority,” you continued, your voice trembling. “And I’m trying so hard to be okay with it, but it’s just… it’s hard.”
Mina reached for your hand, squeezing it tightly. “I’m so sorry,” she said softly. “I didn’t realize things were like this.”
Jirou nodded, her gaze serious. “That sounds really tough. You shouldn’t have to feel like that, especially not with someone who’s supposed to care about you.”
You sniffled, grateful for their support, but still feeling the weight of your emotions. “I don’t know what to do anymore. I love him, but… it feels like he’s slipping away.”
Mina wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a comforting hug. “You’re not alone in this, okay? We’ll figure it out. And honestly, Bakugo needs to hear this too. He probably doesn’t even realize how much he’s hurting you.”
Jirou nodded in agreement. “Yeah, he’s not exactly the most emotionally aware guy, but he cares about you. You just have to tell him how you feel.”
Their words brought a small measure of comfort, but the thought of confronting Bakugo about your feelings still terrified you.
You knew they were right, though. Something had to change.
You sat there in Mina’s embrace, your tears slowly subsiding, though your chest still felt tight.
The weight of their words lingered, and you knew they were right.
As terrifying as it seemed, you had to talk to Bakugo.
But how? He wasn’t exactly the type to sit down and have a heart-to-heart.
Mina pulled back slightly, her warm hands resting on your shoulders as she looked you in the eye. “You have to tell him,” she said firmly.
“And not in a ‘hinting’ kind of way. Lay it all out. He’s not good at picking up subtle stuff.”
Jirou nodded, leaning back on the couch. “Yeah, Bakugo’s not gonna magically figure it out. But if you’re honest with him, I think he’ll listen. He’s stubborn, but he’s not heartless.”
You sniffled, wiping your face with the sleeve of your cardigan. “I just… I don’t want to come off as needy or like I don’t support him. I know how hard he works.”
Mina sighed, shaking her head. “Girl, no. This isn’t about being needy. This is about being in a relationship where you feel seen and loved. You’re allowed to have needs, too.”
Jirou added, “And honestly? If he doesn’t get that, then that’s on him. Relationships are about both people putting in effort. It’s not all on you.”
You nodded slowly, their words sinking in.
It wasn’t easy to hear, but deep down, you knew they were right.
You couldn’t keep bottling everything up and hoping things would magically improve.
Mina smiled softly, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. “Look, Bakugo might be a hothead, but he’s not a bad guy. If he knew you were feeling this way, I think he’d do something about it. But you’ve got to give him the chance to step up.”
You sighed, fiddling with the strap of your purse. “I guess I’ll try talking to him later… when we’re alone.”
“Good,” Mina said with a nod, her tone encouraging. “And if you need backup, you know where to find us.”
Jirou smirked slightly. “Yeah, we’ll set him straight if he doesn’t get the message.”
The three of you shared a small laugh, the tension easing just a bit.
Mina grabbed the remote and turned the movie off completely, standing up and stretching.
“Alright, let’s get back to the others before they start wondering what we’re up to.”
You nodded, standing up and smoothing out your clothes.
As the three of you made your way back to the main living room, you felt a mix of emotions swirling inside you.
Anxiety, hope, and determination all competed for space in your heart.
As you stepped into the room, Bakugo was standing near the corner with Kirishima, laughing at something Sero had said.
His usual sharp smirk was etched on his face, but there was something different in the way his eyes flickered toward you, a hint of something unreadable beneath his confident exterior.
For a moment, you just watched him, debating how you’d navigate the rest of the evening while the conversation with Mina and Jirou still echoed in your mind.
What you didn’t know, however, was that Bakugo had heard everything.
It wasn’t intentional.
On his way to the bathroom earlier, he had walked past the closed door of the cozy room where you and the girls had been talking.
At first, he hadn’t thought much of it—just chatter from Mina and Jirou, nothing unusual.
But then he caught the sound of your voice, trembling slightly, and his feet had stopped.
He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. Really, he hadn’t.
But something in your tone made him pause, leaning against the hallway wall just out of sight.
He listened as Mina and Jirou pressed you about how things were going between the two of you.
He heard the way your voice wavered when you said everything was fine—so unconvincing that even he could tell it was a lie.
And then came the confession.
You weren’t happy.
You felt ignored, neglected.
You felt like he didn’t see you anymore.
The words hit him like a punch to the gut, and for a moment, he couldn’t breathe.
You, the person he cared about most, felt like you were slipping away, and he hadn’t even noticed.
His knuckles clenched, and his jaw tightened as he leaned his head back against the wall.
Guilt surged through him, hot and unrelenting. He wasn’t great with emotions; he knew that.
But hearing you spill your heart out to your friends, feeling like he didn’t care enough—it stung more than he wanted to admit.
When Mina and Jirou encouraged you to talk to him, he heard the hesitation in your voice, the fear of being seen as needy or overbearing.
It made his chest ache. You should never feel like that—not with him.
He had walked away before you left the room, needing a moment to collect himself.
By the time he rejoined the group, his mind was racing.
As you stepped into the living room, Mina nudged you gently with her elbow. “You’ve got this,” she whispered before heading to the group, leaving you to take a deep breath and square your shoulders.
Bakugo, standing near the corner, glanced your way.
His sharp smirk remained, but his eyes lingered on you a little longer than usual, softening for the briefest second before he turned back to Kirishima and the others.
He didn’t say anything, but in the back of his mind, he was already planning.
He wouldn’t let you feel like this again. Not if he could help it.
---
The night had wound down, and one by one, everyone began saying their goodbyes.
Mina and Kirishima gave you tight hugs, Mina giving you a reassuring smile as if to silently remind you of the conversation you’d had.
Jirou patted your arm, her subtle way of showing she was rooting for you.
Bakugo, meanwhile, was his usual self—casual nods, a few gruff “See ya’s,” and a fist bump for Kirishima.
His energy seemed as steady as ever, though you noticed the way his eyes flickered toward you more than once, a slight crease in his brow that he didn’t quite hide.
As the two of you made your way to his car, the quietness of the night enveloped you.
The cool breeze brushed against your skin, and the sound of your shoes crunching against the gravel filled the silence.
You felt Bakugo’s presence ahead of you, his confident stride unchanging, though he occasionally glanced back to make sure you were keeping up.
When you reached the car, he pulled his keys from his pocket, unlocked the doors, and slid into the driver’s seat.
You followed, gently closing the passenger door behind you and placing your bag on the floor by your feet.
The faint scent of leather and his cologne filled the space, a scent you usually found comforting.
Without a word, Bakugo started the engine.
The low rumble of the car filled the stillness as he pulled out of the driveway and onto the street.
His hands rested on the wheel, firm but relaxed, his eyes trained on the road ahead.
You glanced at him from the corner of your eye, trying to read his expression, but it was the same stoic mask he always wore.
The weight of the evening felt heavy in your chest, and despite the warmth of the car, you felt a chill run through you.
The drive was quiet at first, the soft hum of the engine the only sound between you.
You wanted to say something, anything, but the words felt stuck in your throat.
You fidgeted with your fingers, your gaze shifting between the passing streetlights outside and Bakugo’s profile.
He hadn’t said much since you left Kirishima’s house, and it left you wondering if he’d noticed the distance between you—or if it even mattered to him at all.
Bakugo’s hands tightened slightly on the wheel as he drove, his jaw clenching and unclenching as if he was working through something in his mind.
His gaze remained steady, but every now and then, you noticed his eyes flicker toward you, though he said nothing.
The silence was deafening, and with every passing second, it felt like the space between you grew larger.
Finally, unable to take the tension anymore, you shifted in your seat and let out a soft sigh, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Thanks for driving,” you said, your tone polite but distant.
He grunted in response, a low “Yeah,” his focus still on the road.
The quiet settled again, heavier this time, and you found yourself staring out the window, the lights of the city blurring past.
You wanted to say more, to breach the gap between you, but something held you back.
Bakugo, meanwhile, stole another glance at you, his expression unreadable.
He wanted to speak, to address the weight in the air, but the words felt foreign to him.
For now, he just drove, the road stretching ahead, both of you caught in your own thoughts.
The car hummed softly as the city lights flickered past, but the silence between you and Bakugo felt louder than anything else.
You leaned your head against the cool glass of the window, your eyes fixed on the blurred scenery.
Your hand rested on your lap, fingers nervously fidgeting with your nails as your thoughts raced.
What had started as disappointment had now spiraled into uncertainty.
You couldn’t shake the weight of the conversation with Mina and Jirou, nor the growing chasm between you and Bakugo.
You’d tried so hard to keep it together, but being here, so close yet feeling so far, made it even harder.
Bakugo kept his eyes on the road, his grip on the wheel firm.
Inside, he was battling a storm of emotions.
The echoes of your words from earlier replayed in his mind, mingling with the snippets of the conversation he’d overheard at Kirishima’s.
“I just… I don’t know how much more I can take.”
He wasn’t good with words.
Hell, he wasn’t even good at feelings most of the time. But he wasn’t stupid—he could feel the distance, and it frustrated him because he didn’t know how to close it.
His crimson eyes flickered to you briefly.
The way you sat there, so quiet and withdrawn, tugged at something deep in his chest.
He hated seeing you like this, especially knowing he’d been the one to make you feel this way.
After what felt like forever, Bakugo’s resolve finally cracked.
His hand hesitated on the wheel, fingers tightening for a moment before he let out a sharp breath.
Slowly, almost cautiously, he reached over.
His hand covered yours, warm and slightly rough, the weight of it grounding you.
You blinked, startled by the sudden contact, and turned your head to look at him.
Bakugo didn’t meet your gaze right away.
His eyes stayed focused on the road ahead, his jaw tight, like he was bracing himself for something.
His thumb shifted slightly, brushing against your fingers in an awkward but earnest gesture.
“Hey,” he said, his voice quieter than usual, almost hesitant. “Stop doin’ that.”
You stared at him, confused. “Doing what?”
“Fidgetin’ like that,” he muttered, finally glancing at you for a split second before looking back at the road. “You’ll mess up your nails or somethin’.”
His words were gruff, almost dismissive, but the way his hand stayed on yours told you there was more to it.
He wasn’t just talking about your fidgeting—he was trying, in his own clumsy way, to tell you he cared.
Your chest tightened as you looked down at your joined hands.
The warmth of his touch, the slight awkwardness of the gesture—it all made your emotions bubble up again, but this time, they weren’t as heavy.
“Katsuki…” you began, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Don’t,” he interrupted, his grip on your hand tightening just a fraction. “Don’t say it. Not here, not like this.”
You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat, and leaned back against the seat.
For the first time that evening, the silence between you didn’t feel quite as suffocating.
The car came to an abrupt stop at a red light, but the tension in the car felt like it had slammed into a wall at full speed.
Bakugo’s hand hovered over the wheel, his knuckles white as he gripped it.
His chest rose and fell with uneven breaths, but your anger was a storm now, and it couldn’t be contained.
“Seriously?” you demanded, your voice sharp and trembling. “If not here, then where? If not now, then when?”
Your hand yanked away from his, the warmth of his touch replaced by the cold sting of frustration. “You always say that, Bakugo. You always brush our problems away. You… you brush me off like I’m some kind of bug.”
His eyes darted to you, his lips parting as if to defend himself, but you didn’t give him the chance.
“You treat me like I’m not worth your time,” you continued, your voice cracking under the weight of your emotions. “Do you even know what I was doing before you came home? I was cooking dinner. For you. For us.”
Your hands shook as you gestured toward him, your words pouring out in a rush. “I did all of that so we could talk, so we could try to fix this. Just so I could know—know for sure—that I mean something to you.”
The light turned green, and Bakugo hit the gas with a little more force than necessary, his jaw tight as he stayed silent.
But you couldn’t stop now.
“But of course,” you spat, your voice rising, “your friends are more important! Work, training, hangouts—all of it is more important than me!”
The car swerved slightly as Bakugo’s grip faltered, and he shot you a glance, his brows furrowed in frustration and guilt. “But they’re not! You’re more important—”
“Don’t give me that crap!” you cut him off, your voice almost a shout now. “If I’m so important, then why do you keep pushing me away? Why do you make time for everyone and everything else but not for me? Huh? Answer me!”
Bakugo’s mouth opened, but no words came out. His silence was deafening, and it only stoked the fire inside you.
“Why, Katsuki?” you pressed, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and hurt. “Why do I have to fight so hard to feel like I matter to you?”
The car pulled into your driveway, and Bakugo threw it into park, his hands gripping the wheel so tightly it looked like he might snap it in two.
For a moment, the only sounds were your ragged breaths and the faint hum of the engine.
Finally, Bakugo exhaled sharply and turned to you, his crimson eyes filled with a mixture of guilt, frustration, and something else—something softer, something that looked a lot like regret.
“You do matter,” he said, his voice low but firm. “You mean everything to me, damn it. I just… I don’t know how to show it.”
But you shook your head, the tears you’d been holding back finally spilling over. “That’s not enough, Katsuki. It’s not enough to just say it. I need to feel it. And right now, I don’t.”
Your words hung in the air, heavy and unshakable, as Bakugo stared at you, his expression unreadable.
For once, the explosive hero had no words, and the silence between you felt like it could split the world in two.
Your chest heaved as the emotions you’d been holding in for so long spilled over.
Tears streamed down your face, your voice trembling and raw as you finally let everything out.
“Why couldn’t you have just spent time with me?” you cried, your voice breaking as your gaze locked on Bakugo.
He flinched at the pain in your voice but said nothing, his hands clenching into tight fists on his lap.
“Why couldn’t you see that while you were having fun, I was feeling miserable?!” you continued, your words cutting through the silence like shards of glass.
Bakugo’s eyes darted toward you, filled with a mix of guilt and helplessness, but you didn’t stop. You couldn’t stop.
“Listen, Katsuki...” you began, your voice softer but no less intense. “I love you. So much it hurts.” Your words hung in the air, trembling with sincerity. “But it’s starting to feel like... like you don’t feel the same.”
His head snapped up at that, his crimson eyes wide and frantic. “That’s not true!” he blurted, his voice rough and unsteady. “Don’t—don’t say that, alright?”
But you shook your head, your tears falling harder now. “Then why does it feel like I’m always fighting for your attention? Fighting for a moment of your time?”
Your voice cracked, and you pressed a trembling hand to your chest, as if trying to hold yourself together.
Bakugo opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.
His jaw tightened, and his gaze fell to his lap, his fingers gripping his knees so hard it looked painful.
You could see the frustration, the guilt, the turmoil swirling in his expression, but it wasn’t enough.
It didn’t fix the ache in your heart.
“I don’t want to feel like this anymore,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “Like I’m not enough for you. Like I’m not your priority.”
Bakugo’s head snapped up again, his eyes blazing with emotion. “You are my priority!” he insisted, his voice desperate now.
“You’re everything to me, alright? I just... I just don’t know how to handle all this shit sometimes!”
His voice cracked at the end, and for the first time, you saw something in him you rarely did—vulnerability.
He looked at you like he wanted to say a million things but didn’t know where to start.
But it wasn’t enough. Not yet.
“Then show me, Katsuki,” you said, your voice steady despite the tears streaming down your face. “If I mean so much to you, then show me. Because words aren’t enough anymore.”
His breath hitched, and for a moment, the only sound in the car was the faint hum of the engine.
Bakugo looked at you, really looked at you, and for once, the explosive hero seemed completely lost.
Bakugo’s chest rose and fell with unsteady breaths as he stared at you, his crimson eyes shadowed with guilt and frustration.
He opened his mouth to respond, but the words seemed to die in his throat.
His hands clenched tighter on his lap, and he turned his gaze to the steering wheel, as if looking at you was too much to bear.
The silence stretched, heavy and suffocating.
You could feel your heart breaking all over again as you watched him struggle to say something—anything—that could make it better.
“You’re right,” he finally said, his voice low and strained. “I’ve been a shitty boyfriend.”
The admission startled you.
Your breath hitched, and you blinked through your tears as you waited for him to continue.
“I’ve been so focused on everything else—work, training, trying to keep up with everyone—that I didn’t realize what it was doing to you. To us.”
He dragged a hand through his hair, the motion rough and frustrated. “And that’s on me.”
His voice trembled slightly, and he slammed his fist against the steering wheel, the sharp thud breaking the tense quiet. “Dammit, I didn’t mean to make you feel like this. Like you don’t matter.”
You watched him, your tears still falling, but something in his voice tugged at your heart.
It wasn’t just guilt; it was desperation.
“But you do, alright?” he said, turning to face you fully now. His crimson eyes locked onto yours, raw and unguarded.
“You matter more than anything else in my life. I just... I don’t know how to balance it all without screwing it up.”
His hands trembled as they rested on his thighs, and you realized how much it was costing him to admit this.
Bakugo Katsuki, the man who always seemed so sure of himself, so strong and unshakable, was unraveling in front of you.
“You’re not the problem, alright? I am,” he continued, his voice softer now. “And I swear to you, I’ll fix this. I’ll fix us. Just... don’t give up on me yet.”
Your heart ached at the vulnerability in his words, but the pain you’d been carrying for so long still lingered.
You looked at him, your tears blurring your vision, and took a shaky breath.
“Katsuki, I’m not asking for perfection,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “I’m asking for you to try. To make me feel like I’m worth it. Like we’re worth it.”
He nodded, his jaw tight as he swallowed hard.
“I will,” he said, his voice firm despite the emotion in his eyes. “I’ll prove it to you. I’ll be better. For you.”
You stared at him, searching his face for sincerity, and what you saw there made something in your chest loosen.
He looked at you like you were his whole world—like he couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.
For the first time in a long time, you felt a flicker of hope. It was small, fragile, but it was there.
“Okay,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll hold you to that.”
Bakugo nodded again, his eyes never leaving yours. “You can.”
The car fell into silence again, but this time, it wasn’t heavy or suffocating.
It was filled with unspoken promises, with the beginnings of something better.
And for now, that was enough.
---
Bakugo’s hand enveloped yours, firm yet gentle, as if he was anchoring himself to you.
The warmth of his grasp communicated what his words had struggled to convey earlier—a need, a desire to hold on to you no matter what.
The silence in the car was filled with unspoken understanding as you both sat there, the weight of the evening settling between you.
When the car finally pulled into your driveway, you barely had time to move before Bakugo was already out of the driver’s seat.
He strode purposefully around the car, his movements sharp yet filled with intent.
You blinked in surprise as he opened the passenger door, crouching down to your level.
His crimson eyes met yours, raw and unguarded. “You mean a lot to me,” he began, his voice steady but thick with emotion.
“So much... and I’m sorry for not showing you.”
Your breath caught in your throat as his words tumbled out, each one more heartfelt than the last.
“I’m sorry for not replying. I’m sorry for not being there. I’m sorry for not showing up,” he continued, his voice cracking slightly as he leaned closer.
“I promise, though, from now on... everything I do, I’ll do it with you on my mind.”
His hands found their way to your thighs, a touch so gentle and deliberate it sent a shiver through you.
It wasn’t just an apology—it was a plea, a vow.
“I promise you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, “that from now on, I’ll do everything in my power to make you feel loved. So please, don’t give up on me. Please, don’t lose hope.”
Your heart clenched at the vulnerability in his tone, the rawness of his confession.
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, but you managed a small, wavering smile as you placed your hand over his.
“You swear?” you asked, your voice trembling with emotion.
His grip on your thigh tightened just slightly, his crimson eyes boring into yours with unwavering determination.
“I promise,” he said, his voice firm yet soft.
That was all you needed to hear.
A small, genuine smile spread across your lips as you nodded.
For the first time in what felt like forever, you felt the weight lifting off your chest.
After a moment, Bakugo stepped back slightly, holding out his hand to you.
You placed your hand in his, and he helped you out of the car with a gentleness that contrasted his usual brash demeanor.
Once you were both standing, he didn’t hesitate—he pulled you into a tight, almost desperate hug.
His arms wrapped around your waist, holding you as if he was afraid you’d slip away.
His head rested against your shoulder, and you could feel the tension in his body slowly melting away.
“I missed you,” you whispered, your fingers threading gently through his spiky blonde hair.
“I missed you more,” he murmured against your shoulder, his voice low and filled with emotion.
You stayed like that for a while, wrapped up in each other’s warmth, the world around you fading into insignificance.
It was as if time had paused, giving you both a chance to reconnect, to heal.
When he finally pulled back, his hands still rested on your waist, and his gaze locked onto yours.
The intensity in his eyes took your breath away, and before you could say anything, he leaned in, capturing your lips in a deep, passionate kiss.
It wasn’t just a kiss—it was an apology, a promise, a declaration.
His lips moved against yours with a fervor that made your knees weak, his hands tightening slightly on your waist as if to ground himself.
You responded just as passionately, pouring every ounce of love, frustration, and hope into the kiss.
When you finally pulled apart, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting together.
His crimson eyes softened as he looked at you, a small, genuine smile tugging at his lips.
“Thank you,” he said softly. “For not giving up on me.”
You smiled back, your hand coming up to cup his cheek. “Just don’t make me regret it.”
He chuckled softly, his voice lighter than it had been all evening. “I won’t. I swear.”
In that moment, standing together in the driveway under the soft glow of the porch light, you felt something shift between you.
A new beginning, built on honesty and love. And for the first time in a long time, you believed things could truly get better.
ADULT BAKUGO FANFICTION
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jamminvroomvroom · 2 months ago
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as sick as it sounds, i loved you first. 1
LN x fem!leclerc reader
part 1 of 2 -> find part two linked HERE!
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in which you just can’t help yourself and neither can lando…
I’M BACK BITCHES!!!! hi sorry it’s been a while but we are back with what i hope is a bang lol. i’ve missed writing so much and as stressful as this was, i’m so so glad to be uploading something! i worked hard on this one and, of course, now i hate it whoops, but my girlie @lavenderlando made this possible and worth it. that’s my hype woman fr fr. N E WAY enjoy! lemme know what you think, and use some imagination for the timeline…
songs to set the vibe: i love you, i’m sorry by gracie abrams, 2hands by tate mcrae, love in the dark by adele, illicit affairs by taylor swift, think twice by suki waterhouse
warnings: 18+!! minors GO AWAY! smut, angst, fluff, kinda enemies to lovers? kinda? r is charles sister oop, miscommunication, both of them are down bad for eachother but they are also extremely dumb! breeding kink, size kink, pain kink (if u squint), unprotected p in v (don’t be silly!),
part 1: 10.3k words
1. oncoming traffic 
“hey, osc, who’s that girl hanging around leclerc? thought he was still with alex.” lando tries his best to sound nonchalant, but oscar can see through him like a freshly buffed window, the way lando clears his throat and nervously ruffles his unruly hair. 
“mate, i know you’re not the sharpest but i didn’t think you were that slow.” oscar laughs, side-eyeing the brit. he was baffled that lando was even asking. lando just shoots him a glare. “wait, you really don’t know?” lando’s glare hardens further, his eyes demanding an answer and oscar just laughs. “that’s his sister, you idiot. how have you never seen her?” 
lando didn’t know how he’d never seen her. this year had been nonstop, what with the pseudo-championship battle and the never ending media shitstorm that rained on him whenever he reared his head. he’d also learned in his years of racing never to look too closely at the women in another drivers entourage. that’s how you ended up in the wall during a race. but charles’ sister? how had he never noticed? 
“maybe i should go and introduce myself.” lando trailed off thoughtfully, his voice remaining playful. oscar snorted beside him, adjusting his racesuit. 
“ooh, yeah, send twitter into a frenzy. it’s been boring lately.” the aussie driver drawls sarcastically, successfully dodging lando’s rapidly approaching elbow to his ribs. 
“glad to know that you take pleasure in my never ending public humiliation!” lando grins maniacally, sauntering out of the garage, no longer any intention of seeking out the pretty girl in the short, black skirt. it was for the best. 
he’s passing through the pit box, immersed in a groupchat thread with max and p about a trip to portugal that he didn’t really want to go on, and bam! like the idiot oscar had just accused him of being, he slams blindly into oncoming traffic. 
oncoming traffic: the pretty girl in the short, black skirt.
“are you incapable of looking where you’re going?” your accent comes out thick, low with rage. it tickles his brain, like he’s heard it before. lando opens his mouth, like a fish out of water, closes it again pathetically. “seriously, for a pilot you have abysmal spacial awareness!” 
“sorry… what the fuck.” lando mutters. why is this woman shouting at him like she knows him? like he regularly barrels into her? 
“lando, yes?” you’ve calmed down a bit now, but you still speak through gritted teeth. 
“…yes?” he replies like he’s not so sure. 
“learn to look where you’re going.” you wrinkle your nose, composing yourself before stepping around him and strutting down the pitlane as if nothing had happened. 
lando stands there, fixed in place, watching her walk away in utter confusion. 
“smooth!” oscar calls from inside the garage, flanked by several laughing mechanics. 
“go fuck yourself!” lando’s flushed red, now, and beeline’s for the pit wall. 
he’s out of earshot when oscar says it. 
“think he just met his wife, boys.” 
-
lando is staring at the data on the screen when it hits him, will’s voice somewhere far away all of the sudden. 
the mysterious leclerc had every right to reprimand him, because she was right. he did need to learn how to look where he’s going. 
she’d told him that already, during their actual first meeting. 
-
2. the first collision 
the music was too loud, suffocating him along with the overbearing smell of cheap perfume, but the alcohol in his system and the outpouring of validation kept lando going. 
three time race winner, lando norris. 
five years of clawing back points and grabbing at podiums with two impatient hands had built up to this, to the incomparable glory of gracing that prestigious top step, and lando wasn’t about to let go of this moment just because of a pressing headache. max and pietra were waiting for him in a booth, surrounded by the rest of lando’s touring entourage. he was wracking up quite the tab, but it was all worth it. every slap on the back, seductive grin sent his way, made it worth it. 
he’s stumbling over his feet, wasted, or close to it, grinning lazily, peering through hooded eyes. the vodka cranberry in his hand is sloshing dangerously around in the glass, his careless movements propelling him towards disaster. 
lando hears the splatter of liquid, first, the scoff of disgust immediately after. long hair whips against his face as she turns, eyes wide with fury, set into a face that was never meant to look angry. he can smell vanilla, flowers. she’s an angel, turned devilish under the strobe lights, her delicate face morphing when he takes in the sight of him. 
“are you fucking serious? mon dieu!” her accent twists his tummy, as does the increasingly see-through material of her tight white dress, layers of chiffon turning transparent with the stark red liquid. it’s all over her back, running slowly down the length of her exposed thighs, sticky. lando stands there, utterly transfixed and useless. she looks like she might slap him; he kind of wants her to. “of course, just stand there. fucking pilots.” 
she mutters the last part and lando gulps. what does she know about other drivers? the implication makes his skin crawl for no reason, the idea of this nameless, mystery woman being familiar with his co-workers. he’s flushed with embarrassment for a multitude of reasons, opening his mouth just to close it again. 
“‘m sorry!” he finally calls out to her, over the music. can the dj turn that shit down? “can i buy you a drink?” she just glares at him, gesturing at her ruined dress. “or… a new dress?” lando tries again, flashing what he hopes are puppy dog eyes. 
he wants to take her back to his hotel room, lick the sweet liquid off of her frame, lap at her til she’s clean and crying. he wants to peel the stained white material off, tear it a little - it’s already ruined anyway! he can’t, though, because she’s wrinkling her nose at him, eyebrow raised, judging, and he’s awash with embarrassment all over again. the club spins and he feels nauseous. he finds max’s eyes on him, his friend stifling laughter at the tragic scene. 
she’s gone when he looks back, seems to have disappeared into a cloud of distinctly expensive perfume, and her friends are curling their lips up at him, dismissive. they don’t care who he is. he wonders if they’re redbull fans, ferrari fans, perhaps. 
he’s met with hoots of laughter as he slumps into the booth. he grabs a shot without a thought, doesn’t even register what liquor it is as it slides down his thick throat. 
“can’t believe you just did that. only you would spill a drink all over leclerc’s sister.” max teases, elbowing him playfully. 
“wha- he has a sister?” lando slurs, spluttering. 
he doesn’t remember much after that. 
youruser just posted on instagram:
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tagged: francisca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc
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youruser: shoutout to the guy that spilled his drink all over me!
francisca.cgomes: so beautiful so slay i miss u already
alexandrasaintmleux: love you!!!
charles_leclerc: delete this 🤦‍♂️
and other comments.
-
3. the watchful eyes of the big, black horse 
your arm is linked with kika’s, giggling with her as you walk through the paddock. 
“what about him?” kika whispers, pointing her chin towards one of the passing alpine mechanics. he’s blonde, pale, eyes dark.  “pierre said he heard that he’s good with the ladies.” she wiggles her eyebrows and your cheeks heat up, swatting her playfully. 
“i am not about to get a reputation for sleeping my way through the paddock.” you scoff. “plus, he’s not my type.” you shrug. 
“you need to start putting yourself out there more, you keep saying you want someone.” the portuguese girl reasons. you nod sheepishly. 
“i don’t wanna look for something, i want it to find me. is that pathetic? i just see how you are with pierre, how alex is with charles, and that’s what i want. something… real.” you sigh. kika sees the way your eyes gloss over with sadness. 
“it’s never as easy and as perfect as it looks, babe, trust me. and anyway, maybe just focus on… the thing you were telling me about.” kika lowers her voice, giving you the look.
“shut up!” you squeal. “god, i am not discussing that here!” 
“discussing what?” you hear pierre before you see him, hot with embarrassment. you’ve know him since before you could even walk, which is why you have no problem voicing your deepest, darkest shame. 
“how i’m not getting laid, apparently!” you drawl sarcastically, slapping your hand over your forehead. 
a poorly concealed laugh that you don’t recognise has you whipping around, eyes wide with bewilderment. it’s hearty, smooth, surprisingly warming. you practically growl when your eyes land on the source of the noise, standing next to pierre who looks embarrassed for you, his lips pressed thinly together to prevent himself from cackling. 
“why is he here?” you grit your teeth, squeezing your eyes so tightly shut that you feel a pang in your temples. 
“as polite as ever.” lando smirks. you open
your eyes just in time to catch him eyeing up the skin of your thighs that your skirt doesn’t quite cover. is he checking you out? 
“says the drink spiller.” you bite back, rolling your eyes. 
“hey, i tried to pay for the damage.” lando looks utterly amused, pink lips still twisted into a punch-worthy smirk. 
“so, you’ve met lando, then.” pierre grins, staring between you both. you don’t register the way he’s trading looks with kika, watching whatever this scene is unfold. 
“unfortunately!” you smile tightly at the racing drivers. 
“pretty sure you walked into me that second time. distracting me in the workplace, or something.” lando chimes in, enjoying this all a bit too much. 
“if you did a better job at looking where you’re going-“ 
“okay, so this has been delightful!” pierre buts in, knowing that you have the shortest temper of all the leclerc offspring. “you,” he points at you. “get laid. you,” he points at lando. “don’t piss her off, you won’t like the result.”
kika can only send you a sympathetic smile, and remind you of the coffee date you have scheduled for tomorrow morning, as she’s dragged away from your place of social suicide. pierre winks, tilts his head far too pointedly for your liking towards lando. you fantasise, in that moment, of clawing his eyes out. 
“i am sorry, for the record.” lando smiles at you, genuine and gleaming. something inside of you twists. 
“for which time?” you’re just teasing now, but he doesn’t need to know that. 
“you have quite the attitude on you. that why you’re not getting any?”
you’re about to rip his head off and give max an even easier ride towards the championship, but lando steps forward. you can smell old spice, tangy and alluring and masculine. 
“how fucking dare you-“ 
“because most men don’t know what to do with a woman like you. don’t know how to treat them right.” he’s so confident when he says it, leaning towards you in a way you can only describe as enticingly. 
“oh, and you do?” you scoff, arms crossed. you must remain combative, or else you’ll give in. is this rock bottom?
“i’m free tonight if you wanna find out.” 
“i’ll be far too busy doing literally anything else.” you can only pray he hasn’t caught the tremble in your voice, the ever so slight quiver of you bottom lip. you chew it into your mouth to stop yourself. 
“but not anyone else.” lando doesn’t pose it as a question. it seems that he’s got you all figured out. 
“whatever helps you and your hand sleep well tonight.” you spit. there’s heat between you, sparking into a flame that could burn down your whole life. you feel eyes burning into the back of your head - green ones that match yours. you falter. “i’m done here, lando. have a fantastic evening.” 
he takes another liberty, leaning in even closer. spearmint and the idea of a million bad choices flood your every pore. you can feel the big, black horse watching over you, now, set into bright yellow, adorned with ferrari red. looming, warning, turning you in. 
“you know, something tells me i will.” 
lando disappears first, not even giving you a chance you spin on your heel and storm off. you want to kill him, hurt him, sink your teeth into that bronzed, thick throat, claw into his back, down, down, down… until you’re on your knees and- 
“why were you talking to lando?” charles’ voice cuts through your filthy thoughts and you sign yourself over to god immediately, purifying yourself as you banish the visions of delicious sin. after all, you’re standing in the presence of il predestinato, the prince of monaco, a saint to many. but to you, he’s just your brother. your big brother, always in the way, always meddling, always, always watching. you sigh. 
“friendly conversation.” you quip, short. you love him dearly, would take bullets for him, but, god, he keeps you on a leash. leo’s has more give than the conceptual tether charles has to you, keeping you close, boyfriendless, out of “trouble”. you know why, and deep down, you’re beyond grateful, all things considered. you can’t admit that, though. 
“that’s not how pierre described it to me.” charles raises an eyebrow, voice bitter despite the clear attempt he’s made to try and hide it. 
“fucking pierre.” you grunt. “it’s nothing, he came over with pierre. i was with kika. first time i’ve ever even had a conversation with lando.” that didn’t result from a drink being spilt over you to the point of transparency. you leave that bit out - charles really doesn’t need to know that. 
charles mulls over your words, eyeing you suspiciously. you want to stomp your heeled foot like a child, a brat, scream and shout and kick and wail that he has to back the fuck off eventually, but you just smile innocently and pray he believes you. 
“okay,” he mutters, making his peace. “i don’t want you getting too… familiar with him. bad reputation. he used to be quite sweet until his last breakup and now he will fuck anything with a pulse.” you wrinkle your nose at your brothers crude words, feeling the need to jump in and object. but why? you don’t know lando, you don’t care about lando. you press your lips into a thin, painful line. “you should go back to the hotel with alex. looks like i’ll be here late.” he rolls his eyes, you know how it is. 
“sure, good luck.” you offer, smothering the rage that pools in your belly. let me fucking live, you think. just because he’d had to swoop in and save you from yourself once before, didn’t mean that you could live like this forever. 
he has lit a spark under you, one that spreads like a wildfire towards the flame that lando ignited minutes before. if only your brother knew how to keep his big mouth shut, you wouldn’t be spurred on to bad behaviour. 
if only lando hadn’t spilled that drink over you, maybe you wouldn’t be opening his instagram profile and sending a message request. 
a place. your room number. a time. 
you only wish you’d gotten to see the devilish grin on his face when he received it. 
lando can’t want you for the reasons that other guys do. your status as charles leclerc’s little sister, and the gateway to your brother that you provided, meant nothing to the brit. that’s why you’d let him have you; he wouldn’t try to take more than you wanted to give. 
-
4. generous 
the knocks are soft against the door, yet they manage to have every hair on your body standing to attention. you’re quick to let him in, itching to get him inside and away from prying eyes. this is clandestine, secret, could even feel somewhat sacred once it’s over, and the last possible thing you could ever need is for another soul to know what you intend to do with lando, what you intend to let him do to you. 
“hey.” 
“hi.” 
you stare at each other. 
he steps forward. you don’t move away. he takes it as an invitation to close the space entirely, so close that, there it is again: oldspice, except this time it’s mixed with something fresh, shower gel you guess, sea salt. his curls are crisper than they were a few hours ago, still damp from the shower he must have just taken. 
“what changed your mind?” he asks. 
“i was feeling generous.” you deadpan. he bites back a laugh. 
“generous, huh?”
“very.” 
“considering your alleged dry spell, i’d say i’m the generous one, no?” his voiced is edged with something dark, dropped a few octaves. you could absolutely squirm under his gaze, but you hold strong. 
“you know where the door is if that’s how you’re gonna be.” you coo, mocking his seductive undercurrent. all he does is flash his teeth, grinning cheekily, his way of accepting your challenge, your attitude. 
“i think you want me to stay, honey.” 
honey. you fear it works on you. the gap closes even further, you fear it’s your doing. 
“you’re only getting this opportunity because i invited you here.” your resolve is slipping. you’ve admitted that you want him in your pathetic bid to hold the power, when the truth is, you want him to pounce on you, strip away every layer and barrier and make you see stars, feel euphoric. 
“okay, honey, whatever you say.” he chuckles, cruel and taunting. “so, how dry of a spell has it been? wanna know what i’m working with.” 
lando touches you then, lightning shooting down your arm as he traces from your elbow down to your fingers, featherlight, barely there, a ghost of a touch that haunts you so deliciously. your fingers intertwine. you initiate it, but really, it’s his fault. this is all his fault.
you try and laugh, but it sounds broken, quivering it’s way out from your dry throat. 
“dry.”
he just stares at you, expectant. he needs to hear more, needs to know. he craves details about you, has ever since you body slammed him outside his garage - leading to some very covert instagram stalking on his behalf and his oh so convenient way of worming his way into a conversation with pierre when lando could see that the other driver was on his way over towards you. it’s pathetic, maybe, but he craves you the way one craves nicotine forever after just one puff of a cigarette. he has you, just for tonight, maybe longer if he gets this right, so he will know everything he needs to know so that he can touch you just how you need. 
“i’ve only… it’s been a while.” 
he sees right through you. 
“you’ve only what?” he presses. he needs to know.
“i’ve only done this once.” you whisper. it’s the meekest he’s seen you. he loathes it. 
“and was it good?” lando murmurs so attentively that you want to cry. 
your fourth interaction with this man, and he has you melting. 
“not really.” 
“do you trust me?” his nose is bumping yours. you’re locked in, twitching. he has both hands on you, now, one still laced with yours, the other trailing up your arm, tempted to brush his fingertips against the taut skin of your neck. 
how the fuck can i trust you? i don’t know you! what the fuck are we doing? what the fuck am i doing?
that’s not what you say, though, because for some reason, you are so sickeningly comfortable and okay that you worry that something is wrong with you. 
“yes.”
“then this time will be so, so much better. i’ll make it all better.” 
when his lips meet yours, you’re surprised at how good it immediately feels. you don’t know what you were expecting, but his lips are plush, enveloping yours softly, but firm enough that you sink into him, allowing him to cement that grip on the side of your neck that he’d been taunting you with. 
he kisses you like he’s sure of everything, like this is second nature and you’ve done it a thousand times. you want to kiss him a thousand times. why it’s so good, you’re not sure, but it gives you the confidence to lean into him, grab the bottom of his hoodie in your hands and tug. 
“be patient, ‘n i’ll make you feel so good, honey, i promise.” he mouths down your cheek, nipping at your jaw, down your neck until he finds that special spot below your ear. he nibbles there, lapping his tongue over your sensitive skin like he already knows your body. you want to see just how familiar with you he can get. “but,” he punctuates the word with a sharp bite. you both dread and revel in the mark it will leave. “you have to behave for me, okay?” 
his words are whispered against the shell of your ear and you shiver, eyes rolled back already. you wonder if he’ll get them to do a full three-sixty rotation in your skull. 
“‘kay.” you breathe, mindless, floating away. it’s already better than last time.
“‘kay’?” he mocks. “no, honey, you gotta promise me. can you promise me?” 
“promise.” you lock eyes, conveying your obedience. his eyes blow wide, pupils dilating to shove away the mysterious bluey green. his teeth grit. he knows he’s hit the jackpot. 
“good girl.” 
you’re stripped naked, mustering all of your energy to shove his clothes off, his hoodie flying away, his sweats kicked into a faraway dark corner. you’re left naked, him in some increasingly tight boxers, and you tumble into the freshly made bed. he slinks over you, crawling on his hands and knees, predator stalking prey. 
he stains your inner thighs purple, tugging your legs over his shoulder, huge hands warm and rough as they manoeuvre your malleable body to his liking. lando presses kisses to every inch of skin, dragging his tongue over your bare flesh before he spreads you open, sucking and tasting and savouring. he moans into you, open and wet, and it ricochets off of every nerve ending, sending your body taut and arched, catlike. you’re trying to get away, whilst simultaneously grinding yourself closed to him, feeling that broad, sharp nose of his bump messily and firmly against your clit, an ache spreading through your pelvis that makes you shake and shake and whine his name out to the gods. 
“taste like heaven.” lando’s words are simple, straightforward, make you bite your lip so hard you taste something metallic seeping over your tongue. “so tight, even around my tongue,” he slurs, drunk, lost. “gotta stretch you out for me. that okay, honey?” you can just about make it all out, and you nod furiously, pleading. 
his teeth graze your clit. 
“say please.” 
“putain! please!” you kick your feet out when all he does is laugh into your wet flesh. 
one finger grazes through your folds, parting them and collecting a mess of your slick. he looks transfixed as it drips down his finger. 
honey.
you watch him watch how he opens you up, revelling in the utter fascination painting his features, pussy drunk and curious, transfixed. 
“can’t believe you’ve never been fucked right.” he coos, breathless, genuinely shocked. you quake under his skilful hands and his awful, sinful, dirty mouth. 
“more.” you plead, not ashamed by your crude begging. you’re a mess for him already, might as well get the full experience. 
“think you can take another?” 
a second finger slides in, rocking against your walls, testing the waters. you writhe, meeting his movements with shallow thrusts of your hips. 
“faster, i need- mon dieu! anything, lando, please just-“ he really goes to town then, scissoring your dripping cunt open, curling and twisting and grinding the two digits so deep that you see white, hazy chocolate coloured curls and deep, glazed over eyes. 
“that’s it, honey, there you go. so fucking pretty for me.” lando whispers the last bit, awestruck, and you’d take the time to wonder why if you weren’t on the verge of tears, overstimulated, ears ringing. your orgasm crashes over you like a surge of electricity, tearing through your body like it’s trying to escape and take cover. it’s so strong that you’re damp everywhere, sweating and crying and so fucking shocked that it can feel like this. 
“lando.” you pant, mouth dry, voice hoarse.  
“you did so good. was it okay?” he rubs small circles into your hips, eyes flitting between your own and where you’re still leaking for him. he manages to tear his eyes away, like a trance has broken, snaking up your body until he’s laying next to you, propped up on his elbow. he hovers over you, raking his eyes over the rising and falling lines of your body. 
“pretty good, i guess. didn’t know you had it in you.” you tease, smirking lazily up at him. 
you want to keep staring at him but your vision is blurring as your eyes begin to droop. what a long day it’s been. 
“high praise coming from you.” lando reasons, laughing lightly. he strokes over your hipbone and you jolt, curling around onto your side. his skin is warm against yours, soft and smooth, and you dare you press your even closer, shy, as if he wasn’t just buried mercilessly between your legs. you hum in response, spent and languid. “you wanna get some sleep?” he asks. 
“we didn’t… i mean, you didn’t…” you trail off, awkward, gesturing towards his middle. 
lando just smiles. 
“guess i’ll just have to come find you in monaco.” 
you flush, cheeks burning as you consider the fact that you’re gonna be in the same country, a very small, very private city. who knows what could happen? 
you fall asleep quickly, easily, far too comfortable next to the british driver. if you were to ask, he’d say he left immediately. he watches the way you breathe far too intently, ever so slowly pulling his clothes back on. he doesn’t know how long passes, but what he does know is that he can’t wait to have you like this again. 
-
5.  some guy 
you sink into the oversized armchair, sitting back and letting kika and alex talk, nattering backwards and forwards about nothing in particular. or, maybe you’re just zoned the fuck out. 
you can’t stop thinking about the way he touched you, your body littered with evidence, dark purple bruises turning a stale green between you thighs. when you woke up, you initially wondered if it was all a dream, but the dull, sweet ache thrumming through your bones told you just how real it really was. you went through the motions, embarrassed momentarily before deciding to just embrace it, try to bask in the way he’d made you feel: sexy and desirable and electric. 
it was just a shame that it had to be him. that’s what you kept telling yourself, at least. 
kika’s nodding along to a story alex is telling about leo, about to respond with a similar anecdote about simba but she gasps instead, almost spilling her americano all over herself. this gets your attention and you open your mouth to ask her is she’s okay, but she beats you to it. 
“my god, what is that?” she chokes, staring at you. or, well, your neck. 
you flush, heated, blood pooling in your cheeks. 
you’d tried to cover it up, seriously, applying layer after layer of concealer and strategically placing your hair in such a way that you prayed it wouldn’t be noticeable, but nonetheless, there it is, clear as day. red raw skin tinged purple around the seams, branded into your neck like some kind of public humiliation ritual. 
fuck you, lando fucking norris!
you avert eye contact, leaning away from alex who is now making a point of leaning in, going as far as to push your hair back so she can get a closer look. 
“oh my gosh!” she squeals, giggling with kika. 
you take a long, slow gulp of coffee, not caring that it burns your tongue. 
“who was it? holy shit, was it lando?” kika whisper shouts and you officially drop dead on the spot, watching her connect the dots so easily. 
“oh jesus, no! no!” you lie, feigning offence, your leg bouncing shamefully under the table. the two girls eye you suspiciously, but you assume you’ve played it off well. 
“who, then?” alex asks. you wonder if kika has told her about yesterdays interaction. 
“just- i don’t even know, some guy.” you huff, playing with a loose thread hanging from your jumper. 
“some guy? after what you were saying yesterday? okay, babe.” kika teases sarcastically. “no, cmon, who?” she pouts, leaning in as well. 
“just… someone.” you squeak, unable to look up at them. 
“okay, well, we will find out eventually.” alex wiggles her eyebrows and you stick your tongue out, mock-glaring at your sister in law. 
“no, the fuck you won’t.” you try and fake some confidence, scrapping for a mere shred of control. 
yes, the fuck they will, because when you leave for the bathroom, you leave your phone unlocked like the utter fool you are. god has it out for you, you figure, because that’s when he chooses to strike. 
the message lando sends you is short and sweet, and alex chokes on a piece of cake when kika starts gesturing wildly at the notification that pops up on your screen. 
for when you’re lonely at home and can’t find anyone to fuck you right.
attached is his address. 
they don’t breathe a word when you come back, but they share a knowing smirk when they catch you smiling at your phone, and again when you ask if either of them have anything with a higher neckline that you can wear for the race. 
youruser has just posted on instagram:
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youruser: race day, big slay
user1: LEO!!!
alexandrasaintmleux: prettiest girl in the world
user45: lando what are you doing here 🤔
6.    manners
“are you even listening to me right now?” charles scoffs, finishing off his drink out of annoyance. your eyes snap back to him, the thumping music vibrating through your body. 
“sorry, just tipsy.” you purse your lips, attempting to lock back in on whatever he’s saying, but it’s hard. it’s hard, because sprawled out in a booth across from where you stand at the bar, lando is watching your every move. 
you’ve managed to avoid him thus far, no contact since you’d liked the DM he’d sent you a few weeks back. you’d be lying through your teeth if you said you didn’t think of him and what you’d done at literally every waking moment, so the way he’s watching you, hooded eyes sparkling under the strobe lights, has you squirming. it was easier to tell yourself that, surely, it wasn’t that good when he wasn’t right in front of you in a half unbuttoned shirt. the navy blue fabric is wrapped around his body deliciously, taut where his muscles are, the colour popping against his tanned skin - which you can practically feel writhing against yours. 
you wish charles would go away so you could crawl into that booth and commit public indecency. 
speak of the devil, your brother seems to have clocked that you have zero interest in what he has to say so he huffs, ordering another round for the table and telling you he’s going to find alex. he shuffles away and you subtly search for the british drivers mindful eyes, but he’s disappeared, left his entourage in the booth. you swallow disappointment that makes you feel pathetic, head in your hands against the bar top, but the lightest brush of fingers against your waist drags you out of your spiral. you know immediately. 
“did you dress like that for me, or are you just a slut?” he’s grinning, light and teasing, surprisingly sober, tipsy at most, just like you. 
“i could ask you the same.” you smirk, blatantly eyeing his exposed chest. he shrugs, leaning in. 
”might have left an extra button undone just for you.” lando winks and you hope the lights hide the way you flush. 
“sure you did, just for me and every other girl in here.” you challenge. his eyebrows furrow. 
“nope. just for you.” his eyes darken, just a tad but enough that you notice. your mouth runs dry. “you never replied to me.” 
“not true, i liked the message.” you smile coyly, sipping your drink. your lipstick smears against the rim of the glass and you watch him stare at the print, tongue wetting his lips. 
“you are something else.” he shakes his head, pushing his curls back. it could be frustration, but he still seems at ease, like he’s enjoying your combative nature. you smile into the glass, hoping he doesn’t notice. he does. “how much have you had to drink?” 
“this is my second.” 
“you sober enough for me to take you home?” lando’s face is mere inches away from yours now, and you can feel the pull, desperate to crawl into the space that still remains and lose yourself there. 
“depends.” 
“on?” you truly exasperate him, but he thinks he loves it. 
“if you’re actually gonna fuck me this time.” you casually take another sip, playing it off as if your crude words had no impact on you. 
lando’s eyes widen at your bluntness, and so does his grin. 
“meet me by the valet.” 
lando leaves, and you quickly follow, downing the remnants of your glass and touching up your lipgloss. 
-
alex watches from her booth, and pulls out her phone. 
to: kika gomes 
oh, she’s deeeeefinitely sleeping with lando!!!  
-
pietra leans towards her boyfriend, close enough that he can hear her over the noise. 
“isn’t that charles’ sister?” she shouts, pointing to the bar, where lando is stood. 
max analyses the way he’s stood, leant  against the bar, nice and close to the ferrari drivers little sister. he knows that look on lando’s face, and he knows it far too well. max pinches the bridge of his nose. 
“oh for fuck sake.” 
-
it’s weird, sitting with him in silence. he’s only had half a drink, able to drive back through the winding hills to his apartment. you stare out the window, mostly, when you aren’t staring blatantly and curiously at lando. you can see the sea, glistening under the moonlight and you wish you could focus on that instead, but he’s there, and you have to admit - begrudgingly, albeit - that he’s stunning. his hands wrap around the wheel tauntingly, as if he’s trying to convey how he’ll touch you, all consumingly. your thighs press together, your fingers clasping together as if you’re subconsciously stopping yourself from reaching out for him prematurely. 
as if he can hear your thoughts, his palm smoothes over the skin of your bare thigh, right where your dress has ridden up, without a second thought, nothing tentative about the way his digits curve around your skin. 
“so, you’ve been thinking about that night, then?” he breaks the silence, glancing over at you. 
“what makes you say that?” you whisper, not even meaning to but the silence had been so heavy. 
“well, you only left with me on the condition i’d bend you over.” he laughs loud, whole and warm. you fight it, just for a second, but then you join in, giving in to him. you can’t help it, he makes it easy. 
“you got me.” you concede, rolling your eyes. without realising it, you’ve relaxed completely into his touch. 
he pulls off of the road and into a private garage. you breath hitches.
-
“do you want a drink or…?” lando gestures blindly towards his kitchen, walking further into the apartment. 
he’d spent the elevator ride up to his place leant against the opposite wall, taunting, making you wait. he’d let himself look at you, totally unabashedly, raking his eyes over your frame, meekly tucked into the corner, shy under his intense gaze but frustrated by his lack of urgency. 
“i’m good. didn’t come here for a tea party.” you hope your words push his buttons. they must, because he turns on his heel, facing you again, suddenly towering over you. 
his eyes are steel, face serious, and you don’t know what to do. you’ve never seen him look at you like this. 
“i think we need to work on your manners.” he speaks condescendingly, down at you, and if you weren’t so needy, hadn’t been waiting weeks, you’d turn around and leave just to really prove his point. but you stay planted, looking up at him through mascara coated lashes, softening you gaze until you’re sure you’re conveying faux innocence. 
“maybe we can work on them in your bedroom.” you truly don’t know where you get this confidence from, he’s the second man to have ever touched you so intimately, but he’s magnetic, drawing you out of your own head and straight towards him. 
he tugs you towards him, kissing you messily, right there in the dim light of his kitchen, pawing at your waist hungrily. his tongue brushes your and you moan, humming into his mouth at the faint taste of mint and vodka, long gone but you can taste everything. his thick fingers find your ass, hoisting you up until you have no option but to wrap your legs around him, your dress scratching at your thighs the higher it rides up, but all it does it turn you on more, rough sensations on sensitive skin. 
lando walks you blindly to his bedroom, never breaking the kiss, and you wonder how many times he’s done this to get it down to muscle memory. the thought makes you nauseous, drags you mercilessly right back into your head, and you pull away, your lips barely brushing his. 
“why me?” you breathe, panting into the shallow space where your mouths have parted.
“what?” he whispers, confused. 
“why do you want to do this with me?” you have to check, past insecurities rising to the surface like bile in the back of your throat. he looks genuinely baffled and you feel foolish for ruining the moment. 
“why wouldn’t i? you’re gorgeous and-“ he cuts himself off, his eyes glazing over. the demeanour slips and you’re stuck, his arms still tight around you, holding you close in the empty space at the foot of his bed. 
“what?” you whisper. 
“you’re part of the same life.” the way he looks at you says words that he can’t. 
words that will sound too shallow and too selfish and too meaningless, even though you will understand them because you’re here for similar reasons, and therefore, they will mean too much. 
you can’t take things from him. you can’t fake it. you can’t break him into a million pieces when he finally discovers that you want him because of what he can give you.
you nod once, firm.  
“i get it.” you smile sadly. lando wants to know more. he can find out some other time. a moment of clarity passes between you. “kiss me, again?” you ask. he delivers immediately. 
kisses you all the way onto the bed. kisses you while he helps you take off your heels, while he drags the zipper of your dress down. you both feel safe now, understood, and that really moves things along. 
“so pretty.” he mutters into your skin, shedding you of your tight dress. 
your shaky fingers work over the buttons of his shirt, peeling it off of his broad shoulders, taking in the sight of him all over again. you’re left in your panties, braless already, and he gawks down at you, like he’s seeing everything for the first time. it makes you feel powerful. 
“can you hurry up?” you writhe, arching into his touch. he smiles, covering his body with yours and pressing a kiss to your lips. his fingers slide over the curves of your body, finding the band of your underwear and toying with it. 
“want me to take them off?” he purrs, trailing his lips down your jaw to just below your ear. 
“now.” you beg, eyes fluttering closed as his warm breath pricks at your skin, teeth nibbling. “no marks.” you whine, flashing back to the weeks over knowing looks and attempts at covering the last one up. 
“what were we saying about manners, hm? gonna need to start hearing some ‘pleases’ and ‘thank yous’, okay, honey?” he bites down again, harder this time, and you squirm underneath him, your soft belly moulding to each dip of his abs.
his fingers dip into your panties, finding your clit amongst your wetness. you just about bite back a moan, but you can’t help but roll your hips into his hand, his fingertips gliding easily through your folds. 
“va te faire foutre.” you mutter, teeth gritting at the pleasure and his words. go fuck yourself.
“i’ve lived in monaco long enough to know what that means.” lando whispers, pinching your clit once before plunging a finger inside of you. 
you hiss, head thrown back, the feeling of him smiling against the hickey bittersweet. and to think, it was almost healed. you can’t help but keen into his touch. 
“more,” you pant. “please.”
“you learn fast.” lando approves, and quickly fulfils your request, adding another finger. 
they flex inside of you, grinding deeper and deeper until you’re whimpering his name and leaking down his wrist. your arms wrap around him, nails digging in to his smooth back, his ropey muscles tensing under your firm touch. his thumb bumps your clit, over and over, pushing you to the precipice, so close you can taste the impending orgasm on your tongue. 
“it’s so good, merci, god.” you sound wrecked already, and lando can’t wait to see how far he can push, how far apart he can take you.  
“that other fucking loser didn’t know what he had, jesus, you’re so fucking hot.” he rasps, admiring the rise and fall of your chest, how your breasts bounce with every thrust of his fingers, the way his hand is glistening in the low light of his bedroom. his words are your undoing, the awe in his voice sending sparks shooting through every nerve ending. 
“lando, ‘m gonna… putain!” the way you switch languages is sexy to him, tells him how scrambled your brain is, and he twitches in his boxers. when you cum, it’s as gorgeous and as enticing as the first time, and he jolts against your hip, desperate to get inside of you finally. 
“you’re so beautiful.” he groans, pulling his fingers from your entrance. he stares blindly at the mess you’ve made on them, salivating, remembering the way you taste. it’s a no brainer for him, and he licks both digits clean, giving you just a moment to recover. 
“i need you.” you whisper, your legs still spread, quivering slightly. 
you pull him in once more, his covered crotch grinding against your slick and you cry out, the friction sending you into overdrive. his teeth dig into your shoulder, the sensation entrapping him, leaving him weak, ready to give you whatever you ask. he pushes his underwear away, and your eyes go wide. 
“you can have me,” he grunts, running his hand over himself. “think you can take it?” he wets his lips and you think you could cum again at the sight of him. sweat slicked, tight curls falling over his eyes, lips licked pink and kiss swollen, hard and heavy in his own hand, body curved over yours possessively. you’re a simple woman, really. 
“i think i can try.” you want to sound confident, but it comes out as a squeak. 
he sits back on his knees and brings his free hand to cup your jaw. 
“i’ll go slow with you, honey, okay? you can tell me to stop.” lando promises. “you sure you want this?” 
you nod, pouting up at him. 
“i want you, i can take it.” you manage through a deep breath. 
the stretch is brutal, splitting you in half. all you can do is breathe, watching the way he watches you, and that’s what you hone in on, his pretty eyes watching where he’s filling you up. when he bottoms out, he stops for a second, scanning your face for discomfort. 
“are you okay?” 
“c’mere.” you coo, and he falls back over you, paws at your waist. “move, lando.” you plead. 
it’s slow, deep, makes your toes tingle. you can feel each and every drag of him against your walls and it makes you dizzy, a knot twisting and tickling in your belly. your fingers are twisted around him, around his biceps, crumbling a little bit every time he flexes in your grip. 
“oh, mon dieu.” you’re whimpering, legs wrapping around him like vines, tighter and tighter with every buck of his hips. 
“‘s it feel good, honey? yeah? you’re so fucking tight for me.” lando chokes, licking over the sweat on your collarbone. “‘m i making it feel good?” he sounds so cocky, sexy, but there’s a soft edge around his words. it matters to him, how he’s treating you, this, a certain delicateness hanging around your intertwined bodies like a cloud. 
“so good, lando, so fucking good.” the words scratch your throat raw, and your teeth sink into your bottom lip. 
“no, no, lemme hear you, pretty girl. can feel how close you are for me.” you can hear the edge to his voice, can tell the end is near for both of you, the way his words wobble despite his best attempts at hiding it. “need you to look at me, and i need to hear you.” 
you don’t even realise until then that your eyes are shut, screwed up tight as the pleasure rolls through your body, flooding each and every one of your senses. you free your lip, and everything pours out, whines, raw slurs of his name. 
“i’m so close.” he grunts, watching the way your face moves, hanging on to every micro expression, the way you battle to keep all of your attention on him. 
“fill me up.” you urge, squeezing his hips between your thighs. his eyes widen, the request slowly registering, and he blinks away the voice in his head telling him to do it. 
“you know i can’t.” he’s firm, sensible even if you aren’t. 
“want it so bad, lan, please, wanna feel it.” you reason, cupping his face and pushing his curls back. 
“not tonight.”
“yes, tonight. give it to me.”
“i said no, don’t be a fucking brat.” he hisses, squeezing his eyes shut. 
“know you want it.” you whisper, seductive and devious. you can see his resolve slipping, tightening around him. 
before you can say anything else, your hands are scooped up, pinned above your head. he’s right over you now, your hips perfectly aligned, and he’s driving so deep that you swear you can feel him in your tummy. his thrusts resort to a harsh grind, digging into each other with every snap of his pelvis. 
“you want it so bad? huh? fine.” he growls, forehead resting against yours. “want me to cum in you, fuck it all back in? yeah, honey? you gonna keep it all in for me?”
“whatever you want.” you promise, eyes rolling back in your head. “just- please, please do it.” you pant, mouth dry. 
“that’s it, pretty girl, take it all for me.” he buries his face in your neck, nipping at your collarbone. “doing so good.” the words fan against your throat, hushed, leaving you warm from the inside out, brainless. 
when you spill around him, it’s at the same time as he lets go, and he fucks you through your orgasms. you go limp beneath him, taking it, letting it all wash over you, letting him wash all over you. you feel like you can’t breathe, suffocating under the weight of him and the reality of what you’ve just done. again. for some reason, you don’t care, and decide that you’ll do this again and again, anytime he’ll have you. not that you’ll ever tell him that… 
“fuck.” he exhales, rolling off of you carefully, but the overstimulation - and then lack thereof - makes you wince, and he strokes your hip gently in apology. 
“that was better than i thought it would be.” you grin, staring blankly up at the ceiling.
“you know, these are starting to sound kinda backhanded.” he beams, laughing breathlessly, but just as he begins to relax into his bedspread, he remembers. “oh fuck, shit, we need a pharmacy!” lando bolts up so that he’s sitting, scanning the room blindly for his clothes. you giggle and he snaps his head towards you, panicked. 
“no, lando, we don’t.” 
“all of that ‘uh, fill me up, please lando you’re so sexy’ talk means that, yes we absolutely do! fuck, how much is plan b these days?” he’s spiralling now, tugging at his curls. 
“first of all, i’m on birth control. second of all, i don’t sound like that, and most importantly, i did not call you sexy.” you smirk, stretching out your tight muscles. 
“that’s the most important part? woman, you nearly killed me.” lando gasps, slumping back down into bed. 
“‘m sorry, couldn’t resist playing with you a little. good to know we share a kink, though.” your smirk turns into a coy smile, and you swing your shaky legs out of the bed, your feet sinking into the plush rug. 
“oh, yeah? what other kinks are you hiding from me?” lando sits back against the headboard, tucking his hands behind his bed. you have to look away, or else you’ll accidentally fall back into his bed. 
“guess you’ll have to wait and find out.” it makes him quirk an eyebrow, a look of understanding settling over his face. 
“so this is gonna be a regular thing, yeah?” 
you’re putting your underwear back on when he says it, searching for your dress, but his words make you freeze. he sounds hopeful, and it makes your chest pang… wait, is that your heart?
“i don’t… i mean, as you unfortunately know, i haven’t done this before. i don’t know how this works.” you say it so earnestly, so innocently, that his whole face softens, awestruck and boyish. 
“i want it to be a regular thing.” he says it gently, like he’s offering it to you, to the universe. 
“okay. me too.” you whisper back, shy under his gaze. 
“are you… like, do you think you’ll be sleeping with other people?” lando squeaks, doing a terrible job of playing it cool. 
“for so many reasons, no.” you grimace. “but if we’re doing this then i wouldn’t want to anyway.” you say softly. your dress is back on now, but he has you flustered, and you can’t quite get the zipper. 
“lemme help.” he offers, and he’s out of bed and before you in a matter of seconds. his calloused fingers graze your skin as he pulls the zipper together and up, adjusting your dress back into place. it feels so terrifyingly intimate, exciting, and you can’t bring yourself to move away. “i wouldn’t want to either.” he breathes the words quietly into the small space between you. 
“okay.” you don’t even try to hide the way you beam, staring up at him. 
“i’ll take you home, yeah?” 
“yeah.”
-
7.  worth it
and so, begins a clandestine affair, touches in the shadows, subtle glances, watchful eyes. 
one of you calls, the other comes, sneaking through doors that neither of you should enter, leaving bars a few minutes apart, making up excuses to get out of plans. 
there’s the time lando has you bent over the end of your bed, tears leaking into the mattress, slick everywhere. he’s so deep this way, hammering away at the special spot nestled within you that he’s become very familiar with. one of his hands is dragging your hips back to meet his thrusts, the other splayed out across your back, holding you down. 
your phone rings. it’s alex. you were supposed to be a brunch twenty minutes ago. you groan out, frustrated in every sense of the word. 
“answer it, honey.” lando grunts, pulling you towards him even harder. you whimper, shaking your head, words dying on your tongue. “go on, i know you can do it. wouldn’t want alex to worry, would you? let her know you’re okay.” he coos, condescending. 
he’s so arrogant, full of it, and you like the challenge. you can’t let him win, can’t let him revel in how fucked out he has you, so against your better judgement, you grab the phone, fingers shaking as you answer. 
“hi, love. i know, i’m late! ‘m sorry, i’ll be there soon!” you wince at the way your voice shakes. you hope she can’t hear the way you’re panting, or the sound of his hips hitting yours. 
lando slows his hips, hitting deep at such a torturously slow pace that feels a million times better than it already did. your free hand flies back, swatting at him. 
“where the hell are you? i was worried!” alex sounds relieved, but there’s something else in her tone that you can’t quite decipher. 
“i’m on my way, i promise! i was with arthur.” you lie, throwing your younger brother into the line of fire. you know, for credibility. alex is silent for a moment. 
“oh, okay. well, get here soon, please! love you!” and with that, she hangs up the phone. you release a breath you were holding, crying out when lando immediately speeds up again. 
“i hate you.” you choke, grinding your hips into him. lando just scoffs, sliding a hand under your belly, flush against the mattress. he finds your clit, playing with it, urging you quickly towards your release. 
“no, you don’t.” he laughs. “you better cum for me, pretty girl, i think you have somewhere to be.” 
-
“i’m on my way, i promise! i was with arthur.”
alex has to bite back a laugh. she stares across the table, where arthur is having an avid debate with charles and joris. arthur, who had been with her and charles for hours. 
“oh, okay. well, get here soon, please! love you!” alex hangs up the phone, giggling to herself. leo stirs in her lap. 
“what’s so funny?” charles asks her. she shakes her head. 
“oh, nothing, she just overslept.” 
-
there’s the time where he has you hiked up on your kitchen counter, messy curls tickling the insides of your thighs. he’s licking at you ravenously, dragging his tongue up and down, twisting around your clit in circles. 
you’re tugging on his hair, holding him close to where you’re aching, dripping, slicking up the lower half of his face. he’s groaning into you, starved and desperate. it’s been a week since you’ve seen him, had him like this, the longest you’ve done without him since the first time you’d had sex. its untamed and needy and you fear what it means, the way you’re so addicted to one another. 
you also haven’t seen your brother for a week, something you realise when you hear a key turn in the lock, down the corridor. you have seconds to react, the noise washing over you like a bucket of ice cold water. you squirm, pushing a very confused lando away, managing to kick him lightly in the head as you leap from the counter. 
“mon dieu! fuck, i’m sorry!” you gasp. 
“what the fuck is going on-“ you cut him off, slapping your palm over his mouth. 
you glance around frantically, looking for a way out of this. there is but one option available. 
“the balcony! just- fuck, get out there!” you shoo him over to the small window, begging him with your eyes. “please! i’ll get rid of him!” 
you can hear footsteps approaching. you’re sweating now, smoothing down your skirt and your hair anxiously.
charles calls your name, rounding the corner  and walking into your kitchen, just as you pull the window closed again. 
“shit, you scared me!” you fake, clutching your chest. you can feel your heart hammering. 
“i did knock, sorry!” charles looks you over, scanning the kitchen. “are you okay?” 
“yeah, fine, sorry, i must have been out of it. i’m in the middle of an assignment.” you lie. 
“oh okay, well i can always go…” he’s looking at you weirdly, and you fear he knows something, that he can tell. 
“can we get dinner tonight? i’ll book.” you offer, scratching your neck. 
“yeah, that’s great. are you sure you’re okay?” your brother asks, turning to leave. 
“promise, yeah, i’m just so busy with work, deadlines and all that.” you wrinkle you nose, feigning distaste. 
“well you can tell me all about it later, okay? love you.” charles says sincerely, smiling. 
“love you too.” you call, listening for the sound of the door closing behind him. 
you immediately rush for the window, throwing it open, peeking your head out. lando stands with his back against the wall, shivering in nothing but a t-shirt. you look at him sheepishly. 
“get back in here.” you tell him, standing back to give him space to crawl back through. “‘m sorry.” you giggle. 
“you’re lucky you’re worth it.” lando teases, stalking towards you and wrapping you in his arms. his skin is cold against yours, and you huff, try and push him off. “hey, i’m cold!” he pouts. 
“you know, you’re lucky you’re worth it, i could have just let him murder you.” you reason, looking up at him. your hands slide around him, returning his embrace, warm hands skating up under his shirt. 
“you wouldn’t.” he says simply. “i’m way too good in bed.” 
“you keep telling yourself that, norris.” 
“i don’t need to, you tell me more than enough.” 
lando leans down to kiss you, then, nothing all that unusual but it always feels like a step too far, intimate in a way that you two usually aren’t. you kiss him back regardless, because really, you love it. he always tastes minty, divine when you let him lick into your
mouth. 
“i believe we were in the middle of something.” he whispers. 
“remind me.” you breathe. 
-
and there’s also the time where he’s fucking you in his drivers room, the massage table thudding dully against the wall with every hard thrust. 
his race suit is pulled down just enough, your dress bunched around your hips, and he’s slamming into you mercilessly.
the whole thing was a blur, really; you’d always vowed that you would never have sex at a race track, but that promise was old news, now, broken the very second you caught the way he was staring at you. his eyes were hard, unreadable, jaw clenched as he glared at the man talking to you. you were just being friendly, catching up with franco, but lando wouldn’t have it, not after such a shitty race. one harsh snap of his neck towards the mclaren motorhome had you quickly excusing yourself. you knew what it meant. 
“you don’t talk to me at the track but you let him?” lando growls, rutting into you wildly. you cling onto the damp material of his racesuit, head thrown back. 
“was just saying hello.” you gasp out, opening your eyes to look up at him. he’s staring down at you, angry. it’s hot.
“i don’t wanna see you talking to him. you see how he was looking at you? fucker should know who you belong to.” he hisses, sliding his hand between your legs. “you’re gonna cum for me when i say, okay? and you’re gonna be nice and loud, honey. no holding back.” 
“lando i’m-“
“when. i. say.” he cuts you off, punctuating each order with a snap of his hips. 
all you can do is take it, dripping all over him. you can hear it, the wet squelch of him filling you up. 
“should mark up this pretty neck, yeah? let everyone know that you already belong to someone.” 
you barely register what he’s saying, but the words leave you hot, pushing you even closer to the edge and you clamp down around him. 
“squeezing me so tight, bet you’ve wanted me all day, huh, honey? saw you looking at me earlier, pretending like you weren’t when i caught you. couldn’t just asked and i would’ve fucked you right then.” lando grunts. you wail out, thrashing against the makeshift bed and he nods, letting you know it’s okay. 
“that’s right, pretty girl, that’s it. been so good letting me have you. cum for me, baby.” 
baby.
it’s the first time he’s ever called you that. it’s the final push you need. 
he collapses into you as he finishes, sweaty curls plush against your bare shoulder. you’re both panting, spent, basking in the moment of silence.
“thank you.” he whispers, sealing it with a kiss against your neck. it tingles, a foreign feeling settling in your belly, shooting through your veins. 
“you drove really well.” you reply, quiet. his breathing halts, a self deprecating laugh filling the room. 
“don’t do that.” 
“what?” 
“act like you were watching my race. charles have a great drive, that must have been a lot more interesting.” 
“maybe, but i was watching you.” 
your words hit him hard. he can’t help but kiss you. you swallow a moan, and a whole heap of feelings that you’re too scared to tackle. 
“you better go. will i see you in brazil?” 
“yeah, lando. you will.” 
youruser just posted on instagram:
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youruser: hola chica 🤭
francisa.cgomes: my love my loveeeee
user21: once again i am asking. why are you here lando? 👀
user56: stop inventing!
alexandrasaintmleux: my beautiful girlies
user66: icon mother slay incredible
-
PART TWO IS HERE!
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beloveds-embrace · 3 months ago
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The Sandman clip/ tiktok audio of "you came" "you called" just screams ex boyfriend/husband TF141 when you call them late at night because some creep is following you home or you're in trouble
WAIT YES YOU ARE RIGHT
It’s almost an instinct to call him first before anyone else, even after breaking up/divorcing. You tell yourself you can’t be blamed- he is a military man and despite all the hurdles that left your relationship in shambles, he was dependable when it came to safety.
And right now, walking slowly to your home with a fan following you- that man had to be kicked out of your workplace, you can remember him- you need his safety.
Something in your heart twinges when he accepts your call on the first ring. Some things truly never change, do they?
“He- hey,” you whisper immediately, and now that someone is here to hear you, the fearful tears build up in your eyes and you are sure he can hear the shakiness in your voice. You don’t give him a chance to say anything for now, though. “I- I know that we- we are not together anymore but… god, I’m so sorry, someone is following me and I didn’t know who else to call, I’m so sorry-”
“Where are you?”
You tell him where you are right now, steps carefully slow but not too slow so your stalker doesn’t know that you are aware of him.
“Stay on the phone for me, yeah?”
“Okay,” you are still whispering, gulping. “Okay. Thank you. I’m so sorry again-“
“Stop apologizing.” His voice is softer now, compared to before. “I don’t mind. Never will. I’ll be right with you in a minute, alright?”
And true to his words, he does come to you soon, throwing his arm over your shoulder and glaring right at your stalker. You can’t see his face, but you know his glare has always made him look so scary. But once the stalker is gone, and you two are left alone while he leads you home, you can’t help but break the silence.
“…you came.”
He looks at you, the glare softening immediately. So many things unsaid, so much that had gone wrong and right in your relationship…
“You called.” Is all he says in reply, still holding you right against him.
No other words are needed at this moment. Though your heart, traitorous thing it is, wonders if it’s not too late to try again. Your mind vehemently disagrees and states he likely holds no feelings for you anymore.
His arm remains wrapped around you and he even covers you in his jacket.
…perhaps it doesn’t have to end this way.
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jaysng · 3 months ago
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post arguement — yang jungown
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PAIRING. husband!jungwon, preg!wife!reader
GENRE. angst, fluff
WORD CNT. 695
NOTE. sorry i haven’t been posting and haven’t replied to anyone in a while, life has been tough and i hope you understand. also been messing with the themes lately. don’t know what looks good. trying.
you woke up in bed, warmth enveloping you in a way that felt both familiar and surprising. your eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the soft blur of the room. the last thing you remembered was curling up on the couch, raw from the argument with jungwon.
the silence of that moment had been heavy, charged with words that couldn’t be unsaid. you had fallen asleep with tear-streaked cheeks and the ache of his voice replaying in your head, cutting deeper each time.
but now, here you were, back in your shared bed. your fingers brushed the comforter, trying to piece together how you’d gotten there. a slight shift behind you made your heart stutter; jungwon was close, his arm resting lightly around your waist, cautious.
his breath was warm against your back, slow but uneven, as if he’d been awake for a while.
the faint nausea that lingered in the mornings pulled at you, a reminder that this moment wasn’t just yours. the baby growing inside you made everything sharper, more fragile.
last night’s argument had felt even more painful because of it, and the guilt weighed heavily on you now.
jungwon’s arm tightened slightly, and you felt him press his forehead gently against your shoulder. the quiet stretched on, the tension humming between you like a current. he took a shaky breath, breaking the silence.
“i’m sorry,” he said, voice rough, almost breaking. it caught you off-guard; jungwon was rarely this raw, this unguarded. “i shouldn’t have let you sleep out there. i shouldn’t have said anything that made you feel like you had to.”
the sincerity, the guilt in his tone, cracked something open inside you. you didn’t turn to face him, not yet. it felt safer to speak without looking into his eyes. “i shouldn’t have said what i did either,” you whispered, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak. “but it hurt, jungwon.”
his hand moved from your waist to rest on your arm, tentative, as if afraid you’d pull away. “i know,” he admitted, his voice so quiet it almost disappeared. “i was so caught up in being right, in feeling frustrated… i didn’t think about you. about us.”
you felt his breath hitch, and it only deepened the ache in your chest. “and when i saw you on the couch, curled up like that… it felt like everything shattered.”
you finally turned, shifting to face him. jungwon’s eyes were red-rimmed, guilt swimming in their depths. you could see how much he’d carried through the night, how it weighed on him now. “did you stay up?” you asked, noticing the exhaustion etched across his features.
he nodded, a rueful smile touching his lips for a fleeting moment. “i couldn’t sleep. i kept thinking about how wrong it was, having you out there. and with the baby… i couldn’t let it stay that way.”
your eyes filled with tears, and you blinked them back, not wanting to let the moment spiral into more sadness. “thank you for bringing me back,” you said softly, fingers brushing against his. “i didn’t realize…”
“you shouldn’t have had to,” he said, voice steadying but still thick with emotion. “you’re my everything. both of you are.” he hesitated, eyes searching yours as if he needed to find a sign of forgiveness. “i know saying sorry isn’t enough. but i need you to know that i’m here. i’m here, and i’ll be better.”
the sincerity in his voice, the guilt that laced every word, made your heart clench. you reached for his hand, intertwining your fingers. “i know,” you whispered, feeling the first hint of relief loosen the knot in your chest. “we’ll figure it out. together.”
jungwon’s eyes softened, and he exhaled, as if releasing a breath he’d been holding all night. he leaned in, pressing a kiss to your forehead, the touch warm and reassuring. “together,” he echoed, the word carrying a promise that filled the space between you with something tender, something healing.
it wasn’t perfect, and maybe it wouldn’t be for a while. but as he pulled you closer, careful and loving, you felt that for now, it was enough.
do not copy or repost — @/jaysng
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luvismenu · 4 months ago
Text
their first time fucking —
⋆˚࿔ fuckboy!jungkook 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ extra ࣪ ִֶָ☾. written, nsfw
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series m.list
♡ — permanent taglist: @https-mei @blaricee @blluee28 @jkvias @jksctrl @ari420sstuff @wnteraezz @letmekookk @whoa-jo @wobblewobble822 @jkslvsnella @clxssy1997 @nikkinikj @kayleesaltzmann @rrosiitas @naurnonope @lola75111 @somehowukook @redcherrykook @parkinglot-nights @deluluisdasolulu @minghaosimp @hyeon-yi @ririkookiemonster @svtrighthereworld @jmscaffeine @trinityxsope @taetaecatboy @butnotmontana @joyofbebbanburg @elinaki92 @sweetmimosa28
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“are you sure about this?”
“yes, like i said, go slo— i told you to go slow jungkook!”
“oh fuck-”
“you ruined it!!!” you exclaim as you watch jungkook lose a game that the two of you have been playing for the last 30 minutes. well, he's the one playing and you're kind of.. helping.
you wanted to play, but he insisted he wanted to play alone because you're a 'nerd' and couldn't play as well as he could—which earned him a smack on the head from you.
“i told you, you have to wait until the monster appears,” you huff, and he slumps back into the couch.
“okay, expert, whatever,” he shrugs.
“yeah, whatever,” you roll your eyes.
jungkook relaxes into the couch, his head thrown back as he groans, “where is this mother fu—”
ding!
“i think you got a text,” you say, glancing at his phone on the small table beside the couch.
“oh, you think so?” he mocks, and you glare him.
hoseok invited you for your usual study session. normally, you both would go to the library or the café he likes, which you didn't mind. today, though, he said he wanted to study at his frat house because it would just be the two of you.
and you couldn't miss a chance like that now would you?
but when you arrived, hoseok was nowhere to be found, and it was jungkook who let you in.
what a fun way to find out that all the fuckboys live in the same house.
jungkook told you that the other members were out doing what they usually do—things you'd rather not know about.
and now, you're just waiting for hoseok to come back.
“oh... okay,” jungkook says aloud as he sets his phone aside, turning to you.
“was it him? is he coming?” you ask.
“nah, he's getting wasted with the others, probably won't be back until.. i don't know, early morning i guess?” jungkook replies, “oh and i told him you were here. he said he's sorry that he forgot and told me to tell you to go home safe.”
you sulk at his words.
he notices.
“he... forgot?” you ask, your voice dropping.
“that's what he said. if you don't believe me, you can take my phone and see his texts.”
“no, no, i mean...” you sigh. “uh sorry, i should get going then.”
you stand up, grabbing your bag. but before you can take a step forward, jungkook speaks up.
“we can play another game if you want.”
you look at him. he holds up his controller, placing the second one beside him.
“together.”
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“i am tired,” he groans, throwing the controller onto the couch as he walks toward the kitchen and you follow him.
“for a fuckboy, you have less stamina,” you joke.
“i was studying the whole day—”
you raise a brow.
“i know, yeah me, studying?? woah, impossible!!” he mocks himself, then continues more seriously, “trust me, i study.”
he grabs a can of beer from the fridge and closes it. “sometimes.”
you can't help but scoff a laugh.
“you don't have to explain yourself,” you say, crossing your arms as he takes a sip of the beer before responding.
“i know, but it's you i’m talking to, so—”
“what do you mean, me?”
he tilts his head. “aren't we friends?”
“yeah?”
he smiles. “then i gotta prove that i’m not as bad as you think i am.”
“i don't—”
“you do.”
you think for a second and sigh. “i do.”
that makes both of you chuckle.
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“i think i should go now, it's getting late,” you tell jungkook, glancing at the clock on the wall. you walk toward the door, and he follows you.
“thank you for the ice cream,” you say, referring to the treat you had a few minutes ago.
“it's okay, it wasn't mine anyway,” he shrugs, and you gasp.
“what the fuck, why did you let me eat it then?”
“relax! it’s hoseok's. he wouldn't mind since he literally ditched you tonight,” he says, then realizes how it sounds as he sees the change in your expression. “i didn't mean—”
“no, it's okay. he did kind of ditch me, but it doesn't really matter. i can meet him some other time.” you smile, trying to ease the awkwardness.
you're kinda rethinking about getting fucked by him anyway.
“right...” he trails off.
you both stand there for a moment, the silence stretching between you before he breaks it.
“so, i guess i'll text— mmph.” and you do it again. you cut him off just like when you first met him, but this time, the kiss lasts longer.
“w-wait,” he breathes out as he pulls back, staring at you. “you wanna fuck?”
“well, i don't know—”
“why did you kiss me then?” he asks
you look at him. why did you kiss him?
because hoseok isn't available? no.
because you're desperate? ... you're not sure.
“i don't know…” you finally say.
he opens his mouth to say something but stops.
“i just wanted to,” you add, and he's visibly surprised.
“is that wrong?” you continue, your eyes searching his.
jungkook's gaze softens. “no,” he murmurs, leaning in closer, his voice barely a whisper. “but you don't like fuckboys and also we're friends—”
“yes, but tonight's different.” you say, reaching out to tug him back towards you, “you know, like a one time thing.”
he raises an eyebrow, his voice uncertain. “so, you wanna fuck and then wake up tomorrow like nothing happened? like we didn't do anything?”
you roll your eyes. “if you keep talking, we really won't do anything.”
“okay then final question, answer this with a yes or no” he says, his tone teasingly demanding, almost childish, and it makes you scoff a laugh.
“what?”
he smirks.
“wanna fuck?”
you smirk back.
“yes.”
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───────── the wall ─────────
“o-oh fuck, jungkook, yes!” you moan out, your fingers tangled in his hair. his head is buried between your thighs, which are wrapped tightly around his neck. your hips are lifted, your back pressed against the wall as he stays on his knees.
he's been tongue-fucking you for a few minutes now, and you can feel yourself reaching the edge.
“mm, you taste so sweet.” he laps at your clit, sucking the sensitive bud between his teeth before releasing it with a pop. “i could eat this pretty cunt all day long.”
without warning, you cum on his mouth, your body shuddering as waves of pleasure course through you.
he swallows it all, his tongue still working on your sensitive pussy, making you squirm and whimper from the overstimulation.
slowly, he stands up as lifts you up, your legs wrapping around his waist. he keeps you pressed against the wall, his hands gripping your thighs tightly as he looks at you as you're gasping for air, that cocky grin forming on his lips.
“you want me forreal.”
“are you kidding me? right now?” you can't believe he's saying that after you just came so hard. but maybe it’s because of the orgasm, because instead of getting annoyed, you find yourself laughing a little.
“you came so much so i—” you cut him off with a kiss, your lips crashing onto his as you taste yourself, sucking on his tongue to shut him up.
he pulls back just enough to catch his breath, his forehead resting against yours.
“what's next, darling?”
───────── the floor ─────────
“t-that tickles,” you giggle when you feel jungkook softly rubbing your waist while his tongue laps at your right nipple.
“my tongue?” he asks, his eyes looking up at you as he moves to kiss your left nipple. you're both sprawled on the floor, his hands moving up and down your body as he hovers over you.
“your hands,” you gasp softly, taking in the warmth of his mouth on your skin.
“mmh,” he hums as his hands slide up, grabbing both of your breasts, squeezing them gently. you arch your back slightly when he squeezes them together, and he buries his face between them, licking and nipping at the soft flesh.
“can i suck your dick?” you say quickly, almost before thinking, and it makes jungkook pull back, looking at you in surprise. he clearly wasn’t expecting that.
“you wanna?” he asks, his eyebrows slightly raised.
“why do you look so surprised? never got your dick sucked before?” you joke, a grin forming on your lips as you see the stunned look on his face.
he rolls his eyes at you, his lips curving into a smirk. it's funny because it's usually you who’s rolling your eyes at him.
“just making sure,”
───────── the couch ─────────
“y-you're doing so good, f-fuck,” he groans, grabbing a fistful of your hair as you choke and drool on his cock. you're on your knees, gripping his thighs while he sits naked on the couch, his cock in your mouth.
his head falls back as he moans, and he bucks his hips up just slightly, pushing deeper into your throat.
he fucking loves this.
“mmfph-” you let out a muffled sound as your eyes start to water. he looks down at you, taking in the sight of you on your knees for him, your lips stretched around his length. reaching out, he wipes away a tear, his thumb rubbing gentle circles on your cheek, his touch oddly tender given the situation.
“that's it, darling. you're being such a good girl,” he whispers, his voice barely above a breath but enough for you to hear. “sucking my cock and looking at me like that... you look so fucking pretty.”
you pull back just slightly, taking a quick breath before diving right back in. your head bobs up and down, your tongue gliding along the underside of his cock, taking him as deep as you can. each time you do, he lets out a low groan, his abs tightening.
“oh fuck, i'm close,” he grunts, his grip on your hair loosening and you pull back.
“can i-” he starts to ask, but you open your mouth, sticking your tongue out, and he curses under his breath.
he strokes himself a few times, his breath hitching, and then he releases, hot ropes of cum spilling onto your tongue. you keep your mouth open, letting him see before swallowing it all, licking him clean until there's nothing left. once you're done, you pull away, giving him a proud smile.
he chuckles, shaking his head slightly, clearly amused by your behavior.
“you're not what i expected,”
───────── bed ─────────
“did you fuck anyone here before?” you ask as you look at jungkook between your legs. your thighs are wrapped around his waist, and your back pressed against the softness of his bed.
“no,” he says simply as he reaches over to grab a condom. “i don't bring girls here.”
“why not?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.
“because i'm never alone,” he explains, tearing the packet open with ease.
“but we're alone right now,” you point out, watching every one of his movements.
“i was supposed to go out with hoseok and the others, but i was tired, remember? so i stayed in. and honestly, i'm glad i did that.” he rolls the condom onto his length.
you smack his shoulder playfully, and he lets out a soft chuckle.
“now, are you really sure about this?” he asks, his hands gently gripping your hips, holding you steady.
“for the tenth time, yes, i am,” you respond, “like i said, it’s a one-time thing,” you remind him.
he gives a small nod, then grabs his cock, rubbing the tip along your wet folds, making you whimper at the feeling.
“just fucking put it in,” you breathe out,
he grins, leaning down just a bit closer. “say please, darling,”
“if you think i’m gonna beg for it, think again,” you say, your eyes narrowing at him.
he chuckles, shaking his head. “so bossy,” he mutters, and then, without further delay, he pushes his cock into you.
“f-fuck..” you bite down on your lower lip, your eyes squeezing shut as you feel him stretching you. the fullness is almost overwhelming, but there's a hint of pleasure there, building slowly.
he pauses for a moment, his gaze searching your face. “you okay, darling?” he asks, genuine concern in his voice.
“y-yeah,” you manage to say, breathing heavily. “it feels... bigger than i expected,” you admit, your cheeks flushing slightly.
his grin widens at that, and he starts to move, thrusting in and out of you in a slow, steady rhythm. normally, you'd have some sassy comeback for that look on his face, but right now, it feels too good to say anything at all.
no wonder women love him.
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you came once.
“fuck— nngh y-yes!!” you cry out, the pleasure overwhelming as your body trembles around him.
“oh my go— i am— fuck!” jungkook moans, his head falling back onto the pillow as you ride him, your hips bouncing on his cock.
twice.
“you like that, hm? you like getting your pussy fucked from behind?” his voice is a growl as he grips your ass, pounding into you relentlessly. you’re on all fours, your moans mixing with the sound of skin slapping against skin. tears well up at the edges of your eyes, the pleasure bordering on too much, but you don’t want him to stop.
make it a third time.
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“fuck..”
jungkook groans as he collapses onto the bed, his chest rising and falling as he tries to catch his breath, his eyes closed. exhaustion drips from his voice as he mumbles, “you’re such a freak.”
you sit beside him, still naked, your fingers lightly tracing patterns over his chest. “one more round?” you suggest, a playful smile dancing on your lips.
he chuckles, shaking his head. “yeah, right.”
you tilt your head, raising a brow at him, your expression almost challenging.
his eyes widen just a bit. “oh, you’re serious?” he asks, genuinely surprised.
you nod, shrugging slightly. “how are you not tired?” he breathes out, his voice laced with disbelief.
“i can take some more, i guess,” you say casually, though the glint in your eyes betrays your eagerness.
“i am sorry to disappoint, darling, but i think i am done for tonight.” he lets out a tired sigh, and he sees you pout.
“woah,” he murmurs, watching the way your lips form into a cute little pout. it’s endearing. he’s seen so many sides of you tonight—and now... this.
cute and.. whiny?
“pleaseee, jungkook, one more time!!” you whine, your voice soft and pleading, making his heart skip a beat.
he blinks, like he’s just seeing a new part of you, something he never expected. maybe it’s the endorphins, or just the moment—whatever it is, this side of you is cute, almost innocent in your need.
he likes it.
“how about this,” he says, a grin forming on his lips, “we take a shower, and maybe we can go for another round there, hm?”
“shower sex?” you ask.
he nods.
“no, it’s unsafe,” you respond immediately, shaking your head.
he sighs dramatically, his grin widening. “well then, no more sex for tonight,” he says, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “maybe some other night.”
you roll your eyes, huffing. “you wish”
he chuckles, his arm wrapping around your waist as he pulls you close.
“i do.”
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a/n: i hope it's not too confusing 😣
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arvandus · 2 years ago
Text
Gojo had never intended to make you cry.  Sure, he teased you.  Maybe a little bit too much.  But he never wanted to actually hurt you.  He was a cocky ass, but he wasn’t an asshole.
That’s what he wanted to tell himself anyway, even as your wide eyes brimmed with tears that clung to your lashes.  It felt like a punch to the gut when the first tear fell.
Without even thinking, his hand came up to gently cup your cheek.  “Don’t...” he whispered.  His thumb swiped away at the wet track.  “Don’t cry.”
But it was too late; more tears fell, leaving wet lines in their wake, the droplets clinging to your chin. He hated the sight of them; hated the way they documented his failure, a sentence of guilt written in watercolor against skin he’d admired with every sideways glance.
He wanted to make them disappear, to extinguish them and replace them with warmth.  To take your trembling lips and make them smile again.  Gojo cradled your face in both of his hands, his large, calloused thumbs wiping away at your tears.  You closed your eyes, caught up in the way your heart twisted in your chest at the warmth of his touch.
You felt his forehead touch yours, his soft hair cushioned between you.  “I’m sorry...” he whispered. “I didn’t mean...”
Gojo’s words died on his lips as he felt more fresh, hot tears catch on his thumbs, heard you sniffle and try to hide the soft sob that wanted to unfurl from within your chest. 
His air left his lungs, a slow panic building at the possibility that maybe, this time, a sorry wouldn’t be enough. That maybe, this time, there was no such thing as forgiveness, and that he’d never again get to see you smile at him.
“I’m sorry...” he repeated, as his lips pressed gently against your forehead.  You froze beneath his affection, stunned.
He didn’t stop there.  His lips traveled lower, brushing against your wet lashes, against your cheeks, each time echoing his apology in earnest supplication.  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
Finally, he came to your still-trembling lips, the soft flesh wet where you’d licked with your tongue, although whether it was in anticipation of his lips or to taste your own tears, he wasn’t sure.  Gojo hesitated, for just the slightest fraction of a moment, waiting...
And then you gave it to him, the sign he was looking for. The ever so subtle tilt of your chin, the flutter of lashes as you peaked at him through the dew drops in hope.
His lips met yours, soft and gentle, your face still gently cupped in his hands. You finally responded, returning the kiss with your hands wrapping around his neck, your fingers curling into his hair at the nape of his neck.
Gojo pulled away just enough to be able to speak, his lips barely brushing yours.  Your eyes were open now, staring into his, and for a moment the universe consisted of just the two of you, two celestial bodies drawn together by the gravity of your hearts.
“Does this mean I’m forgiven...?” he whispered.
“No.” you replied with a grin.
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sturniolosangel · 4 months ago
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daddy’s home
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warnings: daddy kink (i’m sorry in advance), lowkey breeding kink, making out, hickeys, choking, back shots, lowkey porn without plot, unprotected sex (plz wrap it before u tap it🙏), not proofread as always
a/n: kinktober day 4! sorry for putting these out late! i’ve been piled up with school work because i had covid👎🏻so please bare with me and enjoy! as always i🤍u
summary: chris is finally back from tour and the first place he goes is readers.
i woke up as i heard a knock on the door. i stood up to go see who was there as i opened the door i was met with my boyfriend who i haven’t seen in weeks. “daddy’s home” he spoke softly. i just onto him as i wrapped my legs around his waist bringing him in for a hug. “you have no idea have much i’ve missed you” i whispered against his shoulder.
i pull my face away as i grabbed his face and connected our lips. he walked through the door making sure im still on him as he shut it and walked into my bedroom. he gently laid me down on the bed as he looked down on me. “can’t believe i haven’t kissed you in weeks” he said smiling. “i can’t believe you’re here” i spoke looking up at him.
he reconnected our lips slowly moving down my neck putting his lips together to created hickeys. my head rolled back to give him more access “you haven’t seen me in weeks and you’re still a good girl” he mumbled in my neck. his hand came up to my boobs slightly kneading as his other hand slipped under my shirt to pull it off.
i lifted my hands up as the shirt flew on the floor his mouth flew to my bare chests. “chris…” i gasped out. his tongue swirled around my nipples as his hands reached to pull my pajama pants down.
“no foreplay today baby just wanna feel you” he explained as he started to take of his clothes. i watched him as i could tell i was getting wetter by the second i feel like i forgot how hot he looks.
he spit on his hand as he rubbed in it on his dick to make it wet. he flipped me over so now i was face down ass up. his thumb went to my clit and rubbed little circles as he aligned himself with me. he slowly pushed his dick into me as my back arch down and i moaned out.
his hips slammed into mine as he took a hand full of my hair and gripped “taking daddy so good baby” he groaned out. “fuck chris!” i pushed my arm back so i could touch him. his fingers interlocked with mine as he connected to pound into me.
he dropped my head as he took his hand and smacked my ass than rubbing it smoothly. “fuck baby.. always making me feel amazing” his head rolling back. only skin slapping and moans were echoing through the room.
he flipped me over so i was now on my stomach. he wrapped his hand around my throat as he spoke “who’s pussy is this?” “yours chris!” i almost yelled out. “wrong try again baby” he replied picking up his pace. “yours daddy! fuck.. it’s yours” i mumbled out. “good girl. wasn’t so hard was it” he slowed down is pace connecting our lips.
my eyes rolled back asi felt myself getting close. i looked at chris as his hips slammed into me his head was back and eyes were squeezed shut. my stomach tightened as i moaned out “daddy! i’m gonna cum”. “let go baby i’m gonna make you a mommy” he breathed out.
my legs started to shake and my breathing picked up as i came. chris hips still slamming his hips against mine as his white cum coating itself into me. “shit!” he groaned out. he steady his breath as he pulled and stuffing his finger to make sure every last bit was still in me as i whined out.
“let’s get you into a bath baby i know you’re tired” he spoke quietly. i nodded my head as he picked me up and taking me into the bathroom.
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yn.spam: daddy’s home. @/ fakechris
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draconic-desire · 9 months ago
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🔶 Rex Dracorum 🔶
Yandere Zhongli x Reader
At this year’s Lantern Rite, you happen to cross paths with a dragon, much to the chagrin of the one who holds you in the palm of his hand. The result has you trapped between them.
Warnings: Very brief mention of nsfw at the end, implied kidnapping, forced relationship, yandere behavior. Basically my version of what would have happened if Zhongli and Neuvillette actually met at the Rite…
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Despite the contract irrevocably binding you to the Lord of Geo, its progenitor allows you a surprising number of freedoms.
Sometimes, you can pretend like he didn’t steal your life away with a simple signature. That he didn’t back you into a corner, making you decide between two evils: to be his wife and mate, or watch as everything and everyone you ever cherished suffer the wrath of the rock.
Why me?, you would plead aloud, desperate for any loophole, any escape from your contract. Why a mortal geologist with only a few mora to her name?
You’re one of the few who appreciates the rock over the gem, my precious lapis, he’d reply cryptically. Always riddles and non-answers, layered statements garnished with polished words.
If you could reverse time, you would have refused his invitation for tea that first time. Little did you know that each of those subsequent meetings, each time you spent listening to his fantastical tales shared between steaming cups, you were digging your grave a foot deeper, his hold on you constricting an inch further.
Perhaps if you had rejected him outright, he would have viewed you not as a unique mineral, but as another insignificant pebble in a sea of endless, colorless sediment. As no more than the dirt beneath his boot.
Instead, you must seek refuge from him and his stifling, suffocating presence in the times between the cracks, like now, as you take in the transformed Liyue Harbor, adorned with lights and colors brighter than any precious stone.
Hailing from Liyue, the Lantern Rite has always been a time of celebration and reflection for you and your family. Now it represents one of the only times the invisible shackles are lifted from your frame.
Although Zhongli does initially insist on walking you through the harbor, arms interlocked as he parades you around while monologuing about Liyue’s rich history, he permits you to venture off on your own and explore while he entertains his associates or work clients during the day. Although you know there are constantly eyes on you, usually a certain grumbling yaksha, this precious time almost feels like normal.
Today, you’ve decided on a stroll through Qiaoyang Village. The quiet, leisurely existence that its inhabitants have adopted fills you with a rare tranquility. Walking at a slow pace among the many street vendors, the scent of tea leaves, fresh mint and spices, permeates your nose, beckoning you forward. Your tea stocks at home are getting a bit low, you mentally remark, and having some of your own gives you an excuse to occasionally opt out of the times Zhongli wants to drag you out again.
Your mind set, you turn to find yourself a fraction of a second from running straight into a wall of boxes.
No—looking down, you spot a pair of black and gold boots, leading up to black trousers and elegant blue robes. A pair of matching gloves holds the boxes in place. There’s actually a person carrying all of those parcels.
Due to the boxes obscuring their view, they notice you too late—with startlingly quick reflexes, they manage to avoid running into you, but given their sudden halt mid-step, the boxes in their arms go toppling to the ground.
You gasp at your stupidity and immediately drop to your knees to maintain the stranger’s fallen goods. Embarrassed at your carelessness, you stumble over your words. “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t see you—”
A gloved hand rests on your own scrambling fingers, calming your frantic attempt to organize the items. “No apologies necessary. I am the one at fault for not being more alert.”
Turning to face the stranger, who is now crouching beside you, the air in your lungs extinguishes as your eyes lock.
Undoubtedly, this man is one of the most handsome individuals you’ve ever laid eyes on.
Long, silver hair cascades around his sharp, defined features: almond eyes with striking lilac irises, high cheekbones and full lips, a tall, muscular frame clearly sculpted with subtle muscle. His attire—sapphire robes, adorned with lighter accents and intricate whirls of ocean blues—is clearly of expensive taste and sophistication. The jabot and dewdrop pendant around his neck suggest he’s Fontainian, perhaps associated with the court there.
You must look like a gaping fish out of water, for the man helps you to your feet with a kind smile. “I must have given you quite the startle. Are you feeling alright?”
His deep baritone rings through you, similar yet so unlike the proud voice of the Geo Archon you’ve grown accustomed to. Blinking twice, you regain your bearings and pray to the Seven—excluding one in particular, who would be very unhappy with you—that the man didn’t notice you gawking at him. “Ah, yes, I’m fine. Again, I’m very sorry for being so distracted. If any of your items are damaged, I’m more than happy to pay for replacements.”
“That is quite generous of you, but I can assure you that won’t be necessary. You see, these boxes merely contain tea, nothing more.” To prove his claim, he bends down to retrieve a box that opened when it landed, revealing simple, sealed bags of leaves.
Your shoulders sag in relief. It truly seems like no damage was done. “Well, at least let me help you wrap them up together. I know a trick that will make carrying them all much easier.”
The white-haired male nods, followed by a subtle smile. “That’s very kind of you. I accept your proposal.”
After a quick stop at another stall to buy twine, you start to work on binding the boxes together. You count more than ten in total—who needs that much tea, anyway? The amount of it is almost comical, but you can’t bring yourself to actually poke fun of the man. Not when he’s looking at you with such an endearing smile. Like he’s seeing you, not just the wife of the Lord of Geo.
Your face heats. “So,” you start, trying to focus on your knots and ties and not the stranger’s eyes boring into you, “can I ask why you’re carrying so much tea?”
“Well, I originally was transporting some goods back to Fontaine for my friends and colleagues, but I decided to partake myself. It was buy ten boxes get half off,” he replies, as calmly as if he were stating an obvious fact.
You can’t help it. A giggle escapes your lips as you quirk your head to the side. The innocence with which this man admitted to being scammed endears you greatly, and you can’t help but play along with him. “You know, that’s a pretty good deal.”
He smiles, then, a subtle thing paired with a tinge of pink along his cheeks. “I thought so, too.”
Your smile grows in tandem. Speaking to others, especially other men, without your husband hovering above the conversation is quite rare for you these days—though you have no doubt you’ll be questioned about it later once Xiao reports the encounter to him, if he hasn’t already—
A hand rests on your shoulder, the landing a bit too heavy and the grip a bit too tight. “Ah, my beautiful wife. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
The sound of Zhongli’s voice sends a jump through your bones. Archons, you knew you were being followed, but you’ve never been located and corralled this quickly. A flame of indignation, which has long since dimmed from an inferno to a mere flicker, sparks in your chest. You’re rightly upset that your time has been cut short, and even before you learned this interesting and undeniably attractive foreigner’s name.
You look up at Zhongli and open your mouth to explain the situation, that you were merely helping the other man secure his absurd amount of tea boxes, but the words die in your throat.
The Lord of Geo’s amber gaze is sharp and deadly as stone, directed at the other man. His jaw tightens and he grinds out, “Neuvillette.”
The silver-haired man’s eyes narrow as his gaze roams from the hand on your shoulder to meet Zhongli’s glower. “Rex.”
Your brow furrows in confusion as you glance back and forth between the two men who look two moments away from ripping each other to ribbons. It’s obvious they know each other, and the name Neuvillette rings a bell of recognition in your mind. But what really concerns you is the term by which Neuvillette called Zhongli. To your knowledge, no one refers to your captor as Rex Lapis except Xiao, who knows of his draconic—
Oh. Oh.
The realization slams into you with a wave of clarity as your head slowly turns toward the other man. The silver, slitted pupils, the shimmering blue horns and pointed ears, the aura of power and hydro around him…
Horrified, your mouth falls open as you truly take in this man, Neuvillette.
No, not a man. The restored leader of Fontaine, the Hydro Sovereign.
You’ve been casually conversing with not only a dragon, but also the Chief Justice of the Region of Justice. One of the original powerhouses of Teyvat, from which the Seven gained their gnoses. And, given the death of the Hydro Archon, there is currently only one in existence restored to their full power.
“Shit,” you breathe, a bit too loudly. Purple and gold irises snap to you in sync, one filled with thinly veiled concern and questioning and the other with building anger and possession.
On cue, Zhongli snakes his arms around your waist, pulling you taut against his side. You swear you feel the hint of claws digging into your skin through the fabric of your dress, the remnants of his exuvia form.
“I had hoped to avoid meeting you here,” Zhongli states, eyes roaming over the scene, the scattered tea boxes, the twine in your hand, as he pieces together the situation, “but my wife is too kind for her own good sometimes.”
Neuvillette’s eyes browse over your form, examining your tense muscles and downtrodden eyes, the arms that remain at your sides. He’s seen cases just like this time and time again in court, but even so, it doesn’t take a legal profession to ascertain that you’re not particularly fond of your husband. And given Morax’s propensity for contracts, Neuvillette’s senses immediately go on alert.
The Chief Justice clears his throat. “Not at all. I think it quite generous of her to have dedicated her time to making my travels easier.” He tries to give you a reassuring smile, but you’re too focused on Zhongli who, despite his collected demeanor, you realize is a thread away from snapping.
Just what kind of battle between dragons have you gotten yourself into the middle of?
“Is that so? Perhaps she took pity on an old man such as yourself. I hear it can be difficult to carry so much after you’ve departed from your prime.”
“Old man?” Neuvillette barks a laugh, but quickly coughs and regains his composure. “Quite ironic coming from you, Rex. Besides, I feel quite reinvigorated these days. One can only assume it’s due to the balances of power returning to their rightful due.”
Zhongli flashes a hint of his canines, the only giveaway to his building rage. “Rightful is quite a biased term. We wouldn’t want to start a war now, would we?”
Neuvillette’s eyes glint like a sword ready for battle. “And you would know quite a bit about inciting wars, wouldn’t you, Rex?”
Dear Archons, you need to stop this before these two lunge at each other’s throats.
“Zhongli,” you try to placate with a soft voice, the name and tone you know he so adores from you, “I believe that Neu—uh, the Chief Justice was on his way back to Fontaine. I only wanted to help him wrap up his purchases correctly for the journey. If we assist him together, then we can head to the Pavilion for tea after, yes?” Part of you is disgusted at yourself for having to grovel, but you can’t allow two immensely powerful draconic beings to brawl over tea in the middle of the village.
Though you have an strong inkling that the argument isn’t over tea.
Your suggestion lands. Zhongli’s muscles relax as he peers down at you, those immovable, amber eyes softening slightly as he drinks you in. The roaming hands across your back and waist, however, hint that you’ll be getting an earful in private. Though of the likely punishments he has in store for you, that’s the least of your worries.
With a single snap of his fingers, Zhongli uses the power of geo to bind Neuvillette’s parcels together. “There. Consider the issue resolved. My wife and I have matters to attend to.”
Zhongli quickly begins to pull you away, and you think you hear a growl over your shoulder from Neuvillette’s direction. “Careful, Rex. I would be most displeased to have to take one of your contracts to court. In the face of the law, they aren’t as omnipotent as you believe them to be.”
You wince, the statement hitting a bit too close to home. Zhongli, on the other hand, goes as still as stone. “That sounds awfully like a threat, Neuvillette.”
“A mere warning. It is of your own fault to read too deeply into it.”
Neuvillette then turns his attention to you, placing a single tea box into your shaking hands. You have no clue when he separated it from the rest.
Leaning in, his voice drops, low enough to be directed to you, yet you know Zhongli hears it clearly. “You are more than welcome to Fontaine. I will see to your accommodations personally, if you so choose to visit. I believe a spirit like yours would be greatly appreciated in our nation.”
All you can do is shake your head forlornly. Never in a million lifetimes will Zhongli allow it, not even before this encounter. You’ll have to settle for seeing Fontaine through your dreams alone.
Straightening with a frown but understanding the position you must be in, of the contract that binds you to the Geo Archon, Neuvillette lets the matter drop. He turns to leave, but not before throwing over his shoulder, “And her name isn’t wife, Rex. It’s…”
You swallow thickly. “(Y/n),” you finish, a mere breath.
Neuvillette gives you a final smile in return. “My offer will always stand, (Y/n). Happy Lantern Rite.”
Moments after he’s out of sight, Zhongli dips his nose into the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent and rubbing his over your skin. “You stink of that other male…but I know how to amend that.”
Needless to say, you did not make it to tea that afternoon.
It wasn’t until that night when Zhongli was asleep, clawed limbs and scaly tail entangled with your naked form, that you deem it safe to open the tea box Neuvillette gifted to you.
Core pounding, you grimace as you stand, the many possessive and claiming bite marks and bruises across your skin even worse than usual. He didn’t lie about wiping any scent of the other dragon away, if the past few hours of nonstop sex were any indication.
You make your way to the kitchen trash, where Zhongli had immediately disposed of it upon arriving home. Heart pounding, you lift the lid.
A shimmering blue vision reflects in your pupils.
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starmapz · 1 month ago
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what you know - ch8: hysteria || r. sukuna
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❦ ryomen sukuna x f!reader [college au] [ongoing series]
❝ you've heard his reputation and you've seen first-hand the way he's late to class if he even bothers to show up. paired with him for the most important project of the year, you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt- but maybe that's more than he deserves when your perfect grades depend on him, or maybe there's more to the aloof and irritable sukuna than meets the eye. ❞
❦ cw ; mdni, 18+ only. contains explicit sexual themes and content. use of alcohol. use of cannabis. use of nicotine/cigarettes. angst. hurt/no comfort. hurt/comfort. implied injury. family trauma. smut. slow burn. anxiety (attacks). tags will be updated as series continues.
❦ additional tags ; college parties and themes. sukuna ooc warning as this is a realistic take on modern sukuna. reader is fairly preppy and implied to be smaller than sukuna, but he's 6"11.
❦ words ; 17.7k (oops).
❦ a/n ; please note the tags have been updated.
main masterlist || series masterlist || previous chapter || next chapter
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Although not particularly cold throughout the holidays, a frigid air settles over the city shortly after the date turns to the new year. As usual, Gojo held his annual frat party that you’re required to be at by virtue of being his friend, though you end up being one of many single party-goers who dips into a corner as the clock strikes midnight. The idea of a stranger’s lips wandering to yours doesn’t sit well in your stomach and although you asked if he would attend, Sukuna had promised his little brothers a celebration, just the three of them. Not that you would kiss Sukuna anyway, of course-
Yuji had apparently never celebrated the new year, too young to understand previously, though based on the photo in your email inbox, he didn’t get to celebrate this one either. A blurry photo taken from the camera on Sukuna’s laptop, pointed down at Yuji sound asleep in his lap while he and Choso had MarioKart running in the background had been the telltale sign.
You can’t blame him for not having a phone, but sometimes you do wish you could text rather than email. Especially with your friendship seeming to blossom as of late. It took a bit of nurturing to get to this point, but Sukuna seems to recognize his faults and actively tries to work on and better himself. Regardless of his often-irritable demeanor, you appreciate the effort on his part.
Snowflakes settle in your palm as you hold it out in front of you on the walk to the lunch hall. Settling back into the flow of having classes early in the mornings brings with it a dreary haze that hangs over the student body, yourself included. Not a single soul seems to be well-rested, apart from one person.
“Good morning,” Kento greets you with a warm smile, running a hand through his golden locks.
“Morning, Kento,” you greet him in return, your attention trained on the snowflakes melting on the warmth of your skin. “How was it, going back home?”
“It was relaxing,” he replies, a frown pulling at his lips as he takes in your dazed expression. “I’m sorry you weren’t able to join us.”
“That’s alright! I really did appreciate your offer to pay for my tickets, but it didn’t feel right,” you shoot him a smile, though quickly return your attention to your hand.
Auburn irises flicker down to your palm, trying to figure out what’s holding your interest so adamantly. “I understand, although it really wouldn’t have been a big deal.”
“Really, it’s fine, Nanamin. Satoru, Suguru, and Sukuna all had me over and I talked to my parents a bunch,” you assure him, finally dropping your hand and wiping the condensation on the front of your coat.
“Sukuna?” He asks, his brows raising, though it’s more of a rhetorical question as he’s already aware he’ll be doing Sukuna a favor at some point in the new year.
“He’s put in a lot of effort to make up for what happened.” Your tone is somewhat clipped, coming out unintentionally defensive.
Nanami’s gaze flickers to your face, catching the minute knit of your brows and tension in your shoulders. “I should hope so. Either way, I wasn’t making any accusations. Simply an observation.”
You sigh. “I know, sorry. I think I’m just a bit exhausted,” you chuckle, shooting him an apologetic smile. “I can’t believe we’re already back to it. The break felt so short.”
“I agree,” he hums as he opens the door to the lunch hall for you. With a grateful smile, you slip past him and head towards your regular table. Looks like you won’t be the first to arrive this semester. You and Kento are the last to arrive, taking your seats and beginning to pull out your lunches as you get back into the swing of lunches on campus.
Just as you pull out some leftover pasta, Sukuna takes a seat beside you. He looks worse for wear, even more exhausted than you. His sleep schedule is always atrocious, so you can only imagine what it would look like without classes.
“Hey, Kuna!” You grin as you greet him.
In usual Sukuna fashion, he leans over the table on his elbow, resting his chin against his palm. “Princess.” He yawns quietly, his eyes briefly fluttering shut.
“Long day?” You ask, amused but sympathetic.
“Long fuckin’ day,” he agrees, his chest rumbling in faint laughter. “Y’know, you usually don’t look as tired as I-”
“Hey hotshot, I’ve got a bone to pick with you.” Gojo blurts out suddenly, interrupting Sukuna.
With a deadpan expression, the tattooed man’s jaw clenches in barely-masked irritation. Of all days, Sukuna could only have hoped Gojo would keep his mouth shut today, unable to deal with his bullshit in this state. “The hell did I do?” He rolls his shoulders, as though prepping for a fight. 
Can’t these two get along just for once?
“You were on my balcony at the end of finals party, and let some couple fuck on my bed!” He points an accusatory finger at Sukuna’s chest, his nose scrunching in disgust at the mere thought.
Slowly, you bring a hand up to cover your mouth in realization. As you glance at Sukuna, you’re surprised to see his expression has relaxed somewhat, a smug smile pulling at the corners of his lips. “What, you think I broke in to let some other couple fuck?” Sukuna sneers, practically reveling in the way Gojo scoffs. “I didn’t do it on purpose, asshole.” He tilts his head towards you, crimson eyes filled with amusement. “Why don’t you tell him?”
You can tell from his tone he’s enjoying this way too much. “Um- well-” you wince as Satoru’s expression falls, dramatic betrayal written across his face in bolded marker. “I may have unlocked your room to get some air and… kinda didn’t lock the door behind me.” You mutter the last portion into your hand, a sheepish shrug the best you can offer him.
“It was you?” He whines, lip curled in utter disbelief.
“And to think he blamed Sukuna this whole time,” Suguru butts in, amused.
“I saw him leave the balcony!” The frat boy counters, turning his attention back to you. “I had to stay on Suguru’s floor while my mattress got cleaned,” he gripes.
“I can’t even imagine my floor was that much cleaner,” Suguru quips teasingly, a mischievous glimmer in his golden eyes.
Satoru jabs him in the side before turning his attention to you. “You owe me. No, you double owe me because I had you over for Christmas dinner too!” He waggles his spoon at you, before dropping it in his soup with all the dramatic flair he can muster.
“I’m so sorry, Satoru! I promise it was an accident.” You offer your best apologetic smile.
He shuts his eyes for a moment, sighing. “It’s fiiiine. Just… buy me drinks next time we go out or something.”
“I’d like to think I should be compensated for dealing with Satoru’s whining,” Suguru chimes in, entertained by the whole ordeal.
Shaking your head at the raven-haired man’s blatant teasing, you giggle quietly, your elbow lightly brushing Sukuna. He’s still leaning over the table, close enough to feel his breath fan your arm with each rise and fall of his chest.
“After consulting my bank account, I can get Suguru one drink, and Satoru two,” you offer.
“Deal!”
“Deal.”
Sukuna shakes his head, shooting a final glance at Satoru that doesn’t hold the amusement he regarded you with before his full attention shifts back to you. “Just gonna throw me under the bus like that, huh?” He gruffs. Beyond the tired glaze that paints his eyes is a mirthful gleam, reserved only for you as he observes the way you sheepishly chuckle.
“My bad,” you scratch at the back of your neck, your cheeks heating up as his arm brushes yours. “I was gonna jump in, I swear!”
“Mhm.” Sukuna lets out a long breath, leaning back comfortably over the table and putting some distance between you. Just as he begins to zone out, lost in thought over the lawsuit, he sits up straight, his attention drawn to Kento. “Did you find a time to meet with- uh- Kento?”
“Oh!” You gently nudge Kento at Sukuna’s reminder. “Can you and your friend meet up on…” you glance back at Sukuna to fill in the blank as his schedule is much more packed than yours usually is.
“Friday. After four.”
Kento spins to face you, his watchful gaze doing a once-over of Sukuna. “I can get back to you on that. It should work for me, but I’ll need to speak with him.”
You grin. “Great! If that works, can we meet at the cafe across from the Science building?”
Kento nods. “I’ll let you know this afternoon. I believe I share a class with him.”
The two men on either side of you exchange another tense glance, letting the uneasy atmosphere dissolve as they mutually redirect their attention elsewhere. Sukuna leans forward on the table, resting his chin on his crossed arms, his eyes watching with mild interest as you take a bite of your leftover pasta.
Just as you’re about to offer him a bite, your lips purse in surprise as two men you don’t recognize take seats in front of Sukuna. It only clicks who they must be when Uraume takes a seat on Sukuna’s opposite side. You shoot them a warm smile as the salmon-haired man’s head lifts.
You can’t tell what’s going through Sukuna’s mind as he grunts out a “what are you doin’ here?”
The man sitting on Gojo’s left, who’s currently receiving a deeply displeased glare from your snowy-haired friend, has black hair that falls straight over his forehead and a scar on his lip. Beside him is a man with spiked brown hair and a toothpick between his teeth. His lips seem to be drawn in a perpetual frown. He speaks up first. “We haven’t seen you since the party.”
The man with the scarred lip smirks. “That, and Uraume was mentionin’ your girl wanted to meet us.”
Sukuna’s lip curls in frustration, a deathly glare burning his friend for calling you his girl. He introduces you, making a point of calling you his friend, before pointing out Toji, with the scar, and Atsuya.
With a grin and deeply warmed cheeks, you point out each of the members of your friend group. Haibara and Shoko are as sweet as ever, while Geto and Nanami are kind. Gojo, on the other hand, seems frustrated with the arrival of the group, in particular Toji, which you suppose makes sense if the man’s got a penchant for being a pain even by Sukuna’s standards from what you’ve heard.
In spite of Toji’s immediate overbearing teasing, he seems nice enough, and with their arrival, Sukuna becomes slightly more talkative. He’s slowly coming out of his shell around you, which you’re grateful for.
“So,” Toji begins, mischief dancing across his emerald irises, “how in the world did ya manage to get through to this asshole?” He questions you, jabbing a thumb towards Sukuna at your side.
You giggle, not missing the way Sukuna’s jaw clenches. “Not easily.”
“I’ll say. I’ve known ‘im since we were kids and I’m still not part of his Christmases,” he scoffs.
“Maybe if you weren’t such a fuckin’ dick, I’d invite you,” Sukuna scoffs, rolling his eyes.
“You could always invite Sukuna, could you not?” Uraume points out to Toji, who scoffs, his expression deadpan.
“Oh yeah, who wants t’ come to the Zenin Family Dinner? Drop on by, we got my fuckass uncle, my asshole grandparents and Naoya. Who wouldn’t wanna join?” He jeers, sarcasm dripping from each and every word.
“Is that the ‘Naoya’ you punched?” You ask, keeping your voice low for only Sukuna to hear as you lean towards him.
“Mhm.”
“‘Sides,” Toji begins, “your dad used to invite me every year, dunno what I did to get uninvited.”
Oh.
Oh.
He doesn’t know.
Sukuna’s leg bounces absentmindedly under the table at the mention of his father, his gaze averting to a nearby wall in an effort to keep his reaction neutral.
“You know, I could host something next year,” you offer in an effort to divert attention away from the topic of Sukuna’s father. To your horror, the table goes silent. The tension coming off of Satoru and Toji in waves is palpable, and you’re beyond grateful for Shoko, Kento, and Uraume, the first three at the table to chime in.
“Sounds like fun.”
“I would join.”
“That sounds lovely.”
You let out a sigh of relief as gradually, the rest of the table begins to agree, even the two men who seem to continually be at odds with one another. You have half a mind to wonder how that even happened given that Satoru’s usually the one to get under others’ skin, not vice versa.
As conversation begins to return, Sukuna quietly mutters a “thanks” in your ear that sends a shiver straight down your spine before burying his face in his arms as you finish your meal. The tension in the air doesn’t fully dissolve but at the very least, Satoru and Toji choose to simply not acknowledge one another.
With a glance at the time on your phone, you begin packing up once you finish your lunch. A couple of others at the table check the time as they take notice of your actions, using the opportunity to pack up as no one wants to be late on the first day of class. With nothing to pack up himself, Sukuna swings his bag over his shoulder and mumbles a “see ya,” heading for the door before you can stop him.
Even with how far your friendship has come, it seems some things never change.
With a sigh, you turn back to the table. “It was nice to meet you, Toji and Atsuya,” you smile politely.
“Likewise,” Atsuya agrees with a tired smile.
“‘Course. Had to meet the woman Sukuna’s been ditchin’ us for.” Toji shoots you a shit-eating grin, something you don’t dare read into as your face warms at the mere thought of being the person Sukuna seems to always choose.
“See you all later,” you call out to the broader table, met with a chorus of goodbyes. “Text me, Sho!”
Hurrying out the door to your next class, you zip up your coat as you make your way through the frozen wasteland that separates you from Literature History. At least the weather had relented somewhat from the beginning of December, offering a more mild bite that didn’t seem to seep into the very fiber of your being.
Still, it’s a hell of a lot colder than it was before the new year.
With a huff as you cross the barrier into the building where your next class is, you let the warmth envelop you, grateful for the shelter from the bitter wind outside. Winter had only really begun to settle over the city in the last month, but you’re ready for spring to arrive. Even if it means more finals.
Sighing at the thought of starting the entire dance over again- class, studying, finals, not to mention your required internship- you push through the door to the lecture hall, briefly pausing at the bottom of the class to search for a familiar face.
And god fucking damn it, the way your eyes light up when you spot Sukuna could practically make him dizzy. He’s careful that his crimson stare doesn’t give away the strange way his chest tightens at the mere sight of your beaming smile, keeping his expression indifferent as his gaze trails your path.
You jog up the stairs until you find a place beside him, grinning as you slide into the seat. “I was gonna ask what your next class was, but you left so fast,” you comment, getting settled as you pull out your laptop.
“Mm,” Sukuna watches your movements, his eyes trailing your manicured nails. Pink. They almost match his hair.
Why is he even thinking about this?
“Didn’t wanna be late,” he excuses his actions, finally meeting your eyes.
Your bottom lip sticks out in an exaggerated pout. “At least walk with me when we have class together.”
He lets out a long breath through his nose. “Yeah, alright, princess,” he teases, unable to help his smirk as he settles back into familiar territory with you and the strange flutter in his chest eases.
The professor walks in, writing her name in large font across the whiteboard at the front of the room as she begins her introduction to the class.
“Y’know,” Sukuna leans closer, his voice lowering so as not to disturb the other students. “Apparently the prof’s a huge conspiracy theorist.”
“Really?” You ask, interest gleaming behind narrowed eyes.
“Mhm. Supposedly she believes Shakespeare never existed.”
“Like, she believes the anti-Stratfordian theory?” You ask, tilting your head. That’s not an unreasonable theory, to believe that many of the plays typically associated with Shakespeare were perhaps written by another famous playwright or author under a pseudonym that happened to match the name of a living man.
“Nah. ‘Parently she believes he never existed,” Sukuna shrugs.
“But- he did. Maybe not the one we know, but there’s proof of his birth and death records. He has a grave,” you point out.
“I know that,” he smirks. “I heard she rambled about that theory and Dickens’ death for an hour last semester.”
You blink twice. “You’re kidding.” Groaning as quietly as you can muster, you drag your hands down your face. “I can’t afford to have another history professor who rambles. And the Dickens theory isn’t even interesting,” you tack on in a grumble.
“You’ll be fine,” Sukuna chuckles, amused at your reaction. “Literature’s your thing, ain’t it?”
“Well… yeah, but you know how I am with names, dates and faces.”
“And you know how to study for that,” he points out, nudging your shoulder. “‘Sides, you’ll have-”
“If something is so interesting that you feel the need to interrupt, Mr. Sukuna,” the professor’s voice booms around the lecture hall as all eyes land on the pair of you. Sukuna keeps his cool, which you’re thankful for as you pale and shrink into your seat. “Then I would suggest you come up here and share with the class.”
He doesn’t bother to reply, simply giving a wave of his hand for her to continue. It’s not exactly the polite response you would have given, but with a final glance between you both, she turns back to the broader class to continue the lecture.
Sukuna eyes you from his peripherals as you slowly relax back into your seat when you’re no longer the center of attention. If you bristled so much from just being called out, he can only imagine the pain you went through when he left you hanging last semester. He frowns to himself at the thought, his attention never fully given to the professor as much as he tries.
His mind wanders between the introduction to Elizabethean and Jacobean literature and the way your nails tap against your keyboard as you type up notes. As the class drags on and his mind drifts further and further from the lecture, he leans back in his seat and roughly drags his hands over his face.
He’s exhausted beyond belief, frustrated with his schedule for this semester, frustrated with Toji for sticking his nose in Sukuna’s business, irritated with himself for not paying attention for something he’s paying a lot of money to attend, and to top it all off, he knows he has a long day ahead of him.
It’s not like it’s a first, most days are long in his world, but today he’s all the more frustrated and it’s wearing him thin.
So caught up in his thoughts, he doesn’t even realize the room is shuffling until your laptop shuts beside him, the dull snap bringing him back to reality. As you slip your laptop into a sleeve and delicately place it in your bag, he follows suit, tucking his laptop into his backpack and throwing his coat on.
He even supposes he’ll wait for you this time around, given that he has some time before picking up his brothers for once.
You pause in front of him, zipping your jacket up as you type out a message on your phone. “Looks like Friday works for Kento’s friend.”
Sukuna nods, his brow knit. “I’ll need to bring Cho and Yu. Uraume’s got late classes this semester and our neighbor’s away this week.”
You pause for a moment as you consider what that means. “You’ll need to tell them.” Your tone is somber, your voice quiet. He almost doesn’t hear you over the bustling of students exiting the lecture hall.
He nods slowly, a muscle in his jaw ticking. One might even argue he’s too aware of that fact. You can physically see gears turning in his mind, a question sitting atop his tongue that he doesn’t want to voice.
“What’s wrong, Kuna?” You query gently, tilting your head to look up at him. The tattoo along the length of his jaw stretches along his skin as he grimaces.
“D’you have another class?”
You shake your head.
“Don’t wanna talk about it here.” With a large hand on the small of your back, he directs you out of the hall and back into the cold, his palm lifting from your warmth to run through his tousled locks.
If only he knew the way your stomach flipped from such a simple touch.
Regardless, he probably should have asked if you had any plans for the afternoon, rather than simply dragging you off campus and towards his brothers’ school, but the thought is lost on him. Luckily for him, you might be a little too understanding of the man who unknowingly holds your heart, so you don’t say a word as he silently leads you in a direction that you recognize.
Really, you could have at least gotten your car instead of trudging through the cold.
Before you can protest, Sukuna finally finds the words to voice his thoughts.
“What if I’m lookin’ at this the wrong way?” He gruffs, tense and raw with emotion that isn’t often something you associate with him.
It takes a moment for his words to sink in, but you can’t quite tell where his meaning lies. “What way is that?”
“Been thinkin’. I mean, she’s their mother, right? What if they’re better off with her? What if they wanna go with her and I’m puttin’ up a fight they don’t want me to win?”
It hits you like a ton of bricks. The impact nearly pushes the breath from your lungs and causes your stride to falter. If Sukuna notices, he doesn’t slow down and it takes you a moment to catch up, his words still sinking in.
“Wait- What?” You splutter, grappling with the severity of his grievance. He keeps his pace up, not even sparing you a glance. “Sukuna, wait-” You tug on his forearm, tearing his arm from his pocket as he pauses to look at you finally.
Distant. He didn’t hear you.
Blinking twice, you pull him to the edge of the sidewalk to keep his attention on you and away from the noise of the city around you. The lights, the people, the cars, it all seems to encroach on you and muddle your thoughts, you can only imagine the mileage his mind is currently making.
Certain that you have his focus now, you repeat yourself. “What are you talking about? You know they need you.”
He sighs, an air of irritation settling over him as he stares at the brick to your left. “They need a guardian, doesn’t mean they need me. Been thinkin’ maybe they’d want to go with her. With their mother.”
You pause, considering the question for yourself for a moment. You can sympathise with wanting what’s best for them, but it doesn’t sit well with you that he doubts himself so much when you can see what he means to those kids.
“You need to tell them what’s going on anyway, so I think it’s worth asking,” you agree. It’s the right thing to do regardless of the outcome. “But,” you add in a gentler tone, offering a kind smile, “they’ll choose you.”
His eyes snap to you, a tense set to his musculature. “What makes you so sure?” He almost sounds offended.
“They love you, Sukuna.” His brow twitches, his mouth opening to protest, but you continue. “You told me you couldn’t get a hold of their mom when your dad passed, right?”
He nods tensely.
“What kind of mother does that?” You point out. “Imagine how that would make Choso feel.”
You pause, letting the thought sink in. Sukuna doesn’t reply, absently cracking a knuckle.
He’d been so caught up all those years ago in the loss of their father and his own grief that he’d hardly considered that Choso’s grief had likely been twofold. The child had lost his father just like Sukuna, but he’d also had to deal with the loss of his mother. Not only that, but it was more like the active rejection of his mother, because the reality is that Sukuna tried hard to get a hold of her. Looking back, he knows he was in no way ready to parent his brothers and it was rocky at the start. He should never have let Choso sit at his side in tears as he tried every method he could to reach her.
Sukuna had always accepted that Choso got quieter as simply a part of his grief. The little boy had always teetered on the shy side of things, but Sukuna wonders now if there’s more to that. If his silence is a result of sitting alongside his frustrated and grief-stricken older brother as his mother chose not to reply.
When Sukuna’s silence extends, you do your best to guide him from the dark recesses that his mind attempts to take him to. “Would Yuji even remember her?”
Shit. Sukuna’s all Yuji’s ever known. If he doesn’t remember their father, there’s no way in hell he remembers his mother.
Sukuna drags a hand down his face. Coming to terms with the gravity of his own mistakes is one thing, but they don’t even begin to match up to the rejection of their mother.
“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath, taking a step back to pace in front of the wall. Giving him the space and time he needs, you simply watch as he huffs and sighs. Fiddling with your neatly manicured nails, you wait patiently for him to organize his thoughts, only to frown when he shoves his hand into his pocket and pulls out a cigarette. In one smooth motion, he flips his lighter open and smoke trails like rippling water up into the cold air. He leans against the wall, leaning his head back against the brick as he exhales smoke into the overcast sky.
The nicotine calms his jittery mind enough to allow him the space to function within the claustrophobia of his thoughts. Inhaling deeply, he pushes off the wall and returns to you finally, looking up to exhale smoke away from you.
“Uraume’s right, you know.”
Any other time, Sukuna would have let that slide, knowing it was meant to be a cheeky little quip about his vice.
But today’s a bad fucking day for him.
“So I’ve been told.” There’s enough bite to his words that you’re actually a bit surprised at his choice of tone, but even looking back on that drunk night fumbling through apologies, this is the most stressed you’ve ever seen him. His face is gaunt, pale with dark shadows beneath his eyes, and as you take in his outfit, you realize he’s wearing the hoodie he usually throws on after his showers.
If you were to wager a guess, he’s probably wearing last night’s clothes. He doesn’t attempt to hide the tension that grips his muscles and claws at his brow, either.
It’s clear that the thoughts he’s been sharing with you are ones that have been plaguing him as of late. He’s likely been grappling with the idea of telling his brothers about the lawsuit since you last saw him at Christmas. But that’s the thing about Sukuna, he would never ask for help. It’s a miracle he wanted to talk at all.
You let his snappy tone slide, giving him the benefit of the doubt that it’s not intentional. After all, he did ask you to come out here in the cold with him to talk.
Well, maybe ‘asked’ is the wrong word, but he made it clear he wanted you here to talk.
Still, the tension that hangs between you isn’t the usual alluring tension that draws you to him. It’s not uncomfortable, but you would certainly prefer the usual silence with him. It hangs between you in the delicate balance of Sukuna’s startlingly fragile tenacity, which only serves to sympathize you to him in spite of his loose temper.
Sukuna taps a finger on the edge of his cigarette. The ember tip falls to the ground in a pile of ash, melting a small crater of snow at his feet. Choosing not to acknowledge the rigidity that strains the quiet air, he casts a glance at his watch and nods in the direction of his brothers’ school.
“Don’t wanna be late,” he grunts, smoke escaping from the corners of his lips. With one final inhalation, he tosses the cigarette on the ground and stomps it out, turning on his heel to lead the way to the school.
You chew absently on your lip, trailing slowly after him.
The snow crunches beneath your feet, your mind grasping at the conversations of the people passing you by in an effort to fill the dead air. It’s suffocating being in Sukuna’s presence when he’s made a point of having you near, while simultaneously being bull-headed as he holds you at arms’ length.
“They ask for you a lot.”
You take a couple of long strides to catch up with him, thankful that he breaks the ice. Fiddling with the woven bracelets that are still tied to your wrist, you smile. “That’s really sweet. They’re good kids.”
Sukuna casts you a glance. He can see uncertainty in your eyes. He’s not stupid, he knows it’s his fault. But some stubborn part of him holds something akin to a grudge against you for pointing out something he knows is bad for him.
He’s got bigger problems than his nicotine addiction.
When Sukuna doesn’t reply, you swallow nervously. “You’ve raised them well, Kuna.”
Piercing irises snap towards you, flitting between your eyes. “‘M not so sure about that.”
“Aren’t you proud of them?” You push, tilting your head.
Sukuna’s chest clenches. He averts his gaze, grimacing. “‘Course.”
“Then why wouldn’t you think you raised them well?”
“I’m not what they need,” he replies simply.
Your gaze narrows, lips pursing in confusion. “They need a roof over their heads and food on the table. You’re good to them, Sukuna.”
He sighs heavily. “They need someone more attentive. Someone who can be home and dote over them.”
“Dote?” You parrot, the corner of your lip twitching up. “I’ve seen you dote.”
He scoffs. “As if.”
“What do you call your gifts to them?”
A crease forms between his brows. “That wasn’t doting. It hardly meant anything.”
“I don’t believe that for a second, and I don’t think you do either,” you tease, prodding his shoulder and chancing his patience with you.
He scowls down at you, huffing.
You giggle quietly, your breath visible in the air before you. Quieting down, you nudge him gently. “You know just how much those gifts meant to them. You’re exactly what they need, Sukuna. And I think you’re what they want, too.”
Sukuna falters, catching himself quickly enough to play it off like he tripped. Somehow, that’s the less embarrassing option here, he thinks.
“Maybe.” It comes out weaker than intended, and he’s grateful that the steps up to the front of the school offer an escape from the conversation. He may have started it, but like most other difficult conversations he dragged you into, he usually finds himself reluctant to continue them.
Something about how well you know his brothers, how well you know him, shakes him to his very core and he’s not willing to touch that thought with a ten foot pole.
To his relief, the bell rings and a teacher guides a class of young, bright-eyed children out of the school to reunite them each with those meant to pick them up. As Yuji crosses the school’s barrier, she points the two of you out and the little boy goes barreling towards you both.
“Kunaaaaa!” He cries out excitedly, attaching himself like a koala to his older brother’s leg. Sukuna grunts, lifting him into the air as he easily keeps his balance. The little boy giggles, his eyes opening to look at his brother, when he spots you.
Hopping from his brother’s arms with wide, excited eyes, he leaps into your arms as you extend them to him. “You’re here!” He cheers, arms wrapped around your neck in a tight hug.
You giggle, doing your best to hold the boy up as he clings tightly to you. “How was school, Yu?”
“It was great! We’re learning about the oceans and sharks, and-”
As Yuji excitedly tells you about his day, Choso dips through the doorway, his eyes scanning the steps for Sukuna. As he spots both of you, a small smile makes its way to his lips and he jogs over with his hands pulling at the straps of his backpack.
Sukuna ruffles the boy’s hair, who smooths it down in response, a gleam in his eyes as he waves at the sight of you beside his brother. You smile back at him, unable to wave with the youngest Itadori in your arms. Sukuna begins leading the way back towards his apartment, listening to Yuji’s ramblings.
“- did you know that seals eat penguins? I could never eat a penguin, they’re so cute. I think seals should eat something else.”
“You think so?” You giggle at Yuji’s adamant statement.
“Mhm,” he hums, nodding his head. “They should just eat fish and get along with the penguins. Like you and Kuna.”
Your brow raises and you cast a glance at Sukuna, who’s also now staring at the pink-haired boy with mild interest.
“What do you mean ‘like me and Sukuna’, sweetheart?” You ask curiously, your heart doing a flip.
“You’re like a penguin because you’re really cool and nice and Kuna’s like a seal because he’s a meanie but he’s also cool. I think if seals were more like my big brother, they’d get along with penguins. Like you guys.”
Kids are wild.
You laugh as Yuji explains himself, your tone sitting somewhere between genuine chortles and something to fill a silence that might otherwise be awkward. “Tell me more about your brother being like a seal,” you urge, knowing it’ll ruffle Sukuna’s carefully preened feathers.
Yuji stares up at the clouds in thought. Your arms are beginning to tire, but you’ll hold him as long as you can, even if you know you’re holding up the walking pace. “Ummmm… well, some seals have spots and Sukuna has some on his shoulders, but he’s more stripey, like a tiger-”
“They’re not stripes, brat,” Sukuna hisses, but Yuji continues on without a care in the world.
“- and seals eat a lot and so does Kuna-”
“Alright, I’ve heard enough.”
Undeterred, the little boy continues. “- and apparently seals are really good parents, just like Kuna. I know he’s our brother, but he’s the best parent ever.”
It hits Sukuna like a shot through the chest, piercing clean straight through his heart and leaving behind a bloody hole. His jaw is heavy set as he does what he can to mask the way his little brother’s words affected him. The last thing he needs is a worried twelve-year-old and an ‘i told you so’ from you.
Because it’s then that it strikes him that you’re right.
Time and time again, you prove to him just how much he means to his brothers and each and every time he’s left balancing precariously on a cliff as he does what he can to hide the way his feet damn near betray him at the edge. It’s not like he has any reason to be upset with you over this, but to be known is to be seen, and that’s not something Sukuna’s accustomed to.
He has no issue with being the campus’ mysterious and hot ‘bad boy’, as much as the title serves to make him roll his eyes. It’s little more than a generic title given to him for surface-level facts and rumors.
To have you call him out so clearly, to be so utterly correct time after time when it comes to him and his family… He’s not sure how he feels about that. It stirs something deep within and he grits his teeth as he shoves his hands in his pockets.
Sukuna’s brow is deeply furrowed, his steps falling heavily on the snow-clad sidewalk. Ever observant, of course you caught the way his jaw trembled subtly when he heard his brother, but the moment was gone before you had a chance to consider it. Now, he just looks frustrated, even more so than usual.
It seems the new year brought with it the realization of just how close the court date is, and how horribly underprepared he is.
“Is that so?” You question Yuji, although your gaze never leaves Sukuna, brow knit in concern for him.
“Yeah! He’s the coolest!”
“He is, isn’t he?” You reply softly, shooting a look at Sukuna, who scowls at you both with an expression you can’t place.
You have to set Yuji on the ground fairly soon after, and ask Choso how his day was. The walk is spent listening to both brothers chat about their days as Sukuna is otherwise silent. Arriving at Sukuna’s front door, he tells the kids to head inside and wait for him in the lobby, waiting until they’re two doors away to talk to you.
“Will you be alright?” 
Something akin to offense passes over his eyes. It’s clear that no matter what you do, everything is getting under his skin today, so you think it’s best to leave. Besides, this is something he needs to do on his own.
“I’ll be fine,” he grits, continuing to scowl down at you. Even as frustrated as he is, his gaze softens as he stares past you and realizes you’ll need to walk back to your car on campus. “Email me when you get home,” he mutters, turning on his heel and leaving you standing out in the cold without another word.
Before he can shut the door behind him, you hesitantly take a step forward, catching the edge of the door. “Let me know if you want to talk.”
He stares at you for a split-second, contempt burning behind red irises that has you frowning at him, hurt that he’s been so short with you today. As though he realizes the same, the furrow to his brow lessens and he hums, nodding.
If that’s the most you’ll get out of him, so be it.
He turns back towards the lobby, passing through the second set of doors and following the kids as they lead the way up to the apartment. Choso reaches for Sukuna’s keys and unlocks the door, pushing through the barrier into their home. Yuji immediately goes running off to drop his bag in their room.
“Hey! Once you’re done I need you both back on the couch,” he calls after his little brother, his shoulders so tense it physically pains him to roll them back.
He can see Choso’s unease immediately, eyes wide and worried. Fuck.
Choso timidly sets his bag down in front of the couch and takes a seat at the edge of the cushion, fiddling with his fingers, the nails chewed raw. Sukuna had never noticed his brother developed that habit.
Yuji bounds excitedly to the couch, oblivious to the weighty air in the room. Choso bounces slightly as his little brother hops on the couch and plops down.
With a deep breath, Sukuna kneels down to the boys’ level, glancing between them.
“I heard from your mother,” he starts. Excitement overtakes Yuji’s expression, while Choso stiffens, his gaze anywhere but on Sukuna. “She’ll be in town soon.” He’s beating around the bush, he knows that. But how the hell do you tell two children about a lawsuit?
“Can we see her?” Yuji asks in awe.
“Lemme finish, Yu.” Sukuna takes a seat on the coffee table as his knees begin to get sore. The old wood creaks beneath his weight, not intended to support him, but it does nonetheless. “She wants ya both back.”
Sukuna pauses, letting both boys process his words.
Choso’s lips are pursed, his hands fiddling uncertainly in his lap.
“Like, we’ll all go live with her?” Yuji asks, his head tilting curiously.
Sukuna shudders at the question. If only it were so simple. “No. Just you and Choso.”
“She’s not Kuna’s mom,” Choso mutters.
In truth, Sukuna’s done a bad job of explaining their family to Yuji, making the assumption he’s too young to understand. Maybe he’s right, but it seems Choso’s willing to tell him the portions that Sukuna doesn’t want to touch.
“But… Kuna’s our brother too,” Yuji protests, frowning.
Sukuna sighs, a pang in his heart. “Listen,” he starts, running a hand through his hair, “if she takes you, I won’t get to be a part of your life. If that’s what you want-”
“No!” Yuji cries out, interrupting Sukuna’s question. Choso’s fidgeting hasn’t stopped, but he has yet to say a word.
“Gimme a moment, Yu. If that’s what you want, that’s fine. I’ll let her take ya-”
“Kuna? Why do you keep saying ‘take’?” Choso finally finds his voice, eyes teary as though he already understands.
Sukuna’s lips press into a thin line, his leg bouncing as he contemplates his reply. The coffee table creaks relentlessly beneath him.
“Your mother doesn’t think I’m fit to take care of you. She’s-” he cuts himself off, running his tongue over his teeth in his mouth. “She’s tryna take you back, legally.”
“Legally?” Yuji parrots, his lips pursed.
Sukuna averts his gaze, looking for answers anywhere within the apartment, but he’s met only with a dull silence and Choso’s quiet sniffles. It’s clear he understands, and Sukuna wants nothing more than to assure him that he can win the legal battle, but the bitter truth is that Sukuna doesn’t want to lie to them.
And he’s not so confident that he can win.
“Yu, d’you remember when we watched Mrs. Doubtfire?”
Slowly, the little boy nods.
“D’you remember the part where the mom and dad are in a big room with a judge and he takes away the dad’s custody?”
Yuji blanks, nodding, although it’s clear he still doesn't fully understand.
“Well, custody is who gets to take care of kids. Right now that’s me. She wants it to be her, and neither of us get to decide that. It’s up to the judge,” Sukuna explains, trying as best as he can to offer an unbiased explanation.
“Tell her no!” Yuji cries out.
Sukuna bites down on his cheek, his brow furrowed. “I don’t get to, Yu. She’s forcing me to show up in front of the judge.”
Ever so slowly, Choso stands up off the couch, trailing closer and closer to his older brother until he’s leaning into Sukuna’s side, silent tears trailing down his cheeks and soaking into Sukuna’s shirt. Yuji seems to be starting to understand, now standing at the edge of the couch as he adamantly stands his ground as though the lawsuit is a personal attack to him.
“No! No, I don’t wanna go without you!” He proclaims loudly, his eyes beginning to water.
Sukuna can only frown as he watches the boy grapple with something he doesn’t understand.
“I don’t-” sniffle, “- I don’t wanna!” His tears now freely fall as he barrels at full force into Sukuna as well, crying into his side. He pulls both brothers closer, his exhausted gaze set straight ahead. “Please, Kuna, please!”
The apartment is filled with Yuji’s bawls and babbles, while Choso silently clings to him. The coffee table creaks beneath the three of them with every movement, threatening to give out at any moment.
“I won’t,” sniffle, “go, p- please don’t make me go! I don’t want to,” he sobs, “I don’t want to, I don’t want to!”
Denial after denial, it’s all that fills the apartment for longer than Sukuna knows what to do about.
“I don’t-” a sob wracks Yuji’s tiny body, “- even know her. I don’t remember her,” he bawls. Sukuna squeezes him as an acknowledgement, though he’s not sure what comfort he can offer. “Why can’t you come with us?”
Sukuna bites down harder than intended on his lower lip. “Your mother doesn’t like me, Yu.”
“But you-” he gasps for air between sobs, “- you’re the best.”
The taste of iron fills Sukuna’s mouth as he swipes his tongue over his lips. His chest feels as though it could implode as he tugs his two brothers tighter against him. Yuji tightly grips Sukuna’s hoodie, his little hands tugging with the full force of a five-year-old.
“I’m gonna fight for you both, okay?” He assures.
Choso sniffles, pulling back just enough to look up at his brother. “You want us?”
If Yuji saying he was the best parent earlier was a shot through the heart, this took out whatever was left. The question barreled straight through him like a train, leaving nothing behind but pieces for Sukuna to pick up. Each piece serving as a mistake in the way he’d raised the boys.
He knows all too well that this question comes from a place of insecurity, and while Choso’s mother may have laid the seed, Sukuna watered it. 
It was never intentional, he would never want Choso to feel that way, but Sukuna remembers the moment he likely solidified Choso’s insecurities all-too-well.
Three letters. Seven emails. Forty eight calls.
Make it forty nine.
“Fuck!” Sukuna slams his phone down on the table that was once his father’s.
The house that surrounds them feels foreign without his life.
Choso stares at the wood grain of the table, his eyes tracing the way it swirls. He’s long grown numb to Sukuna’s anger, especially over the past couple of weeks. He doesn’t move, doesn’t say a word.
He sat alongside Sukuna through each call. Through all fifty nine attempts to reach his mother, each one further solidifying Sukuna’s fate.
Sukuna, barely able to be considered an adult, is a guardian. By all accounts, he’s a parent.
Sukuna, who works for a cannabis dispensary. Sukuna, who never wanted a second family to begin with, who never wanted this responsibility, who never even wanted brothers, let alone kids, now bears the burden of fatherhood.
The legs of his chair scrape the wooden floor as he stands abruptly, running a hand over his face as he paces a small distance from the table.
He makes his way to the sink, turning the faucet to cold water and splashing it over his face. With dripping hands, he grips the edge of the counter and leans over the sink and his stomach churns and bile threatens to upend.
It wouldn’t be the first time since his father had passed away that his stomach had decided to empty itself.
With his jaw slightly ajar and his chest heaving, he pushes a wet hand through his hair, pushing himself back to his full height.
He wipes the water from his face on his sleeve, shaking his head in an effort to free his vision from his hair. His father had been so sick that Sukuna hadn’t had the time, nor the money, to bother with a haircut, or even shaving. His stubble, that of a boy barely considered an adult, is still uneven and leaves him looking as disheveled as he feels.
His eyes trail the length of the kitchen, which morphs into the living and dining room area, until they land on Choso.
The healthcare system had taken every last penny his father had left behind, and without the support of Choso and Yuji’s mother, he’s at a loss of where to go from here. Even disregarding money, he had to look up how to change a diaper. How sad is that? Looking up Youtube tutorials on what to do?
It’s not like he hadn’t looked after his brothers before, but his father never left him alone long enough to need to worry about that sort of thing. Now it seemed that changing a diaper was the least of his problems.
He teetered constantly somewhere between pissed off and lost and had no one to fall back on, something that became painfully obvious when he’d contemplated going to the hospital when his chest tightened so much that breathing was a forced effort. In the end, he’d been able to do little more than clutch desperately at his chest as he laid on the floor of the bathroom, the cool tile the only reprieve from his lonely agony.
He could reach out to Toji. Hell, he should. But when his father got sick, Sukuna pushed him away. He pushed everyone away. He thinks he’s more comfortable alone now, even if that leaves him staring at his little brother without a clue of what to do.
Choso hasn’t said a word to him since the whole ordeal occurred. The grief had taken its toll on Sukuna’s body and attitude, but it had completely silenced his brother. Although he still stuck around Sukuna, somehow still wanting to be around the grief and anger-stricken man, he never said a word.
The oldest brother cares. He cares a whole lot about his two siblings. Even if this isn’t what he ever wanted, even if he wasn’t prepared to handle the burden of two young kids. Even if he didn’t want siblings to begin with, Sukuna grew to care.
It doesn’t change the fact that he’s filled with contempt towards their mother for shoving the two boys onto him like this.
As he stares at Choso, a stark contrast to himself and their baby brother who both resemble their father, he sees her staring back at him. Choso and Yuji’s mother.
He shouldn’t have done what he did next.
He should have thought about his reactions.
He would change everything about how he acted towards his little brother in a heartbeat if he could.
But Sukuna, mentally, was on another plane as his lip curled in disdain. “Won’t fuckin’ answer,” he mutters, more to himself although he looks straight at his brother. “Some fuckin’ mother you’ve got, kid.”
As if on cue, Yuji begins crying from another room.
“Fuck!” Sukuna cries out again, trudging angrily across the kitchen to the toddler’s room.
Just in time to make sure he doesn’t see Choso’s tears.
Sukuna’s sure that moment replays in the boy’s head constantly. He sees it every once in a while, the seed of doubt that Sukuna watered that day, along with every other day before and following. He would give anything to take back how he acted. But what the hell does one expect from your stereotypical troubled teen who doesn’t know how to cook, hardly cleans, and has no one to talk to?
What the hell was Sukuna meant to do when he’d thrown up the previous night’s dinner and laid on the floor until he woke up in a sickening daze early the next morning to Yuji crying?
He hopes, prays, to whatever god on earth will listen, that he can make up for it. Make up for all the mistakes, all the problems. Make up for the ways he’d failed his brothers.
“I do, Cho,” he answers, the first certain thing he’s managed to say since they’d arrived home. “Promise.”
Choso’s grip tightens as his face collides with Sukuna’s side so hard he thinks the poor kid’s gonna bruise his nose.
“I love you, Kuna.” Choso’s voice is so quiet that Sukuna hardly makes out what he said over his little brother’s sobs.
Yuji parrots the middle brother, though his words come out a choppy mess behind his tears. “I- love-” sniffle, “- y- you, Kunaaa.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he gruffs, grimacing. He stares at the couch, his eyes flickering between the three indentations that have formed over the last three years. The material is significantly more worn on his side of the couch, the least worn in the center where Yuji likes to sit. In the back of his mind, something akin to guilt rears its ugly head and he continues his thought before he says something he regrets.
Or, more specifically, before he doesn’t say something and regrets it.
“Love ya both too.”
It takes a long time, but Sukuna manages to quiet both brothers down. As a treat, he buys them chicken from Strip Joint, which they were about as thrilled as two devastated young kids could be.
He’s not sure exactly how soundly they’ll manage to sleep, but he’s thankful when Yuji passes out fairly easily after a long afternoon of relentless tears.
Shutting his door behind him, Sukuna sighs as he’s finally able to catch his breath for what feels like the first time today.
He collapses onto his bed against the headboard, running his hands over his face.
Pulling his hands back, he stares at his palms, warm and wet.
Tears.
Is he so worn thin that he can’t even feel his own tears?
Shit.
He wipes his tears on the sleeve of his poor hoodie, which is covered in Yuji’s tears, snot, and spit, Choso’s tears, and now Sukuna’s too.
He pulls it up over his head, pushing his hair back out of his face. It’s getting long again, but Sukuna doesn’t have the time to deal with it.
He hopes to god that his previous transgressions from all those years ago don’t repeat themselves simply because Sukuna’s at wit’s end.
He scratches uncomfortably at his chest, desperate for a shower, anything to take his mind off of the shitty day he’s had. Undressing, he wraps a towel around his waist and walks down the hall to climb into the shower, splaying his hands on the tiles as hot water runs over his body, cleaning him of the dirt and grime that plagues his body, alongside some of the tension in his muscles.
He blinks his eyes open as water trails down his hair, falling in a steady stream down his chin.
The day feels like a blur.
His chest tightens as his muscles relax, a familiar feeling that he fears will leave him laying on the bathroom floor again.
It hasn’t been that bad in years. He didn’t think it would ever be that bad again.
Pushing himself up, he runs his hands through his hair, pushing it back and wiping water from his eyes as he finishes showering. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he slips back into his room, inhaling sharply as his chest seems to compress against his lungs.
Too tired to bother with the outside world, he slips under the covers without a second thought. He doesn’t bother to check if you made it home safe. He doesn’t bother to set out his clothing for tomorrow. He doesn’t even bother to set an alarm. He simply shuts his eyes and hopes to god that he can get a full night’s rest.
Unfortunately, that’s not in the books for Sukuna.
Much to your dismay, you don’t see Sukuna again until Friday, four days later. It took him nearly twenty four hours to get back to your message about being home, or the subsequent one the following day upon realizing he wasn’t at lunch, nor in class.
[email protected] - Tuesday, 5:29 PM im fine. cho didnt sleep. been a long day
You had grimaced and offered condolences, but at the end of the day, you suppose there isn’t much more you can do when he’s not looking for help.
That doesn’t mean Shoko didn’t have to drag you out to the mall and convince you not to show up at his door regardless. Thankful for her distraction, you indulged in getting yourself a new sweater and celebrated the fact that oh my god, your history prof from last semester was suspended for his (terrible) teaching methods?? If only the school had done that one semester earlier.
Then again, maybe you wouldn’t be nearly as close with Sukuna if that were the case.
Maybe that would have been for the best.
But the tightness in your heart tells you otherwise as you sit alone in your Literature History class.
It’s funny, that without Sukuna’s distraction beside you, you’re somehow finding it harder to focus without him in the chair beside you. Absently typing at your keyboard, you stare at the screen, your eyes trailing the notes you’ve been taking. They mostly make sense, but your brain must be working on autopilot, because you haven’t processed a single word the professor said.
Rubbing the crease between your brows, you do your best to tune in, chewing on your lower lip and narrowing your eyes as if it’ll do you any good.
The door at the front of the class loudly swings open and Sukuna barges in without a word, trudging straight up to your seat with his hoodie up.
“Class started twenty minutes ago, Ryomen.”
From your angle, you see the snarl on his face, you see the way he practically whips towards her with a world of stress in his eyes and the anger to match. But whether he chooses to take the high road, or simply decides it isn’t worth it, he manages only a measly “yeah. Whatever.���
He should consider himself lucky he isn’t sent away for that, but with only a disappointed grimace, the professor chooses to carry on.
“You’re here,” you whisper, as quietly as you can manage so as not to get him in further trouble.
He sighs. “Finally managed to get them to class today.”
“They haven’t been going to school?”
“Couldn’t get ‘em to,” he mutters, keeping his head low behind his laptop screen as he slumps back in his seat.
You glance at him, a sympathetic frown adorning your lips, but you keep quiet to avoid getting called out by the professor again. Sukuna keeps unusually quiet and withdrawn throughout the entirety of class, packing up as quickly as he came.
He’s on his feet and charging down the stairs before you have so much as a moment to with him.
“Ryomen! A word.”
You watch with dismay as Sukuna whips around angrily to the professor, grumbling out a less-than-thrilled “what?” as he reaches the last step near the door. “Make it quick. I got somewhere to be.”
You grit your teeth, watching with horror as the professor’s brow raises in disbelief at Sukuna’s attitude.
“Mr. Sukuna, if you don’t want to be here, you’re more than welcome to drop my class. You’ve made it very clear that this is not your priority, and-”
Sukuna drops his bag to the ground with a thud, as the students who haven’t already slipped out, including yourself, all watch the interaction in trepidation. “Yeah, you could say it’s not,” he growls. “I got other shit going on.”
“I can sympathize with that,” the professor replies. You have to applaud her patience with the man. “However, I have a class to teach. Whether you choose to show up or not is on you, however I’ll ask that you please don’t distract other students by arriving late.”
Sukuna’s jaw clenches, visibly biting his tongue to keep himself from saying something he’ll regret. “Yeah. Sure,” he dismisses, turning to grab his bag. He slings it over his shoulder and slams the door ajar with his shoulder, barging out without another word.
You traverse down the stairs and chase after him, jogging to catch up to his long strides.
“Sukuna!” You call just before falling into step with him. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” he hisses, shooting you a glare. He falters when your expression recoils appropriately to his prickly reply. Sighing, he runs a hand down his face. “I’m fine,” he repeats, less edge to his tone this time.
“Oh. Okay. Um, are you still good to meet with Kento and his friend?”
“Yeah,” he mutters, clipped.
“That’s good,” you agree, nodding as you search for common ground, something Sukuna might be a bit more receptive to. “Did you want company while you pick up Choso and Yuji?”
He casts you a glance, his expression unreadable. “Up to you.”
He’s not making this easy.
“I wouldn’t mind seeing how they’re doing.”
He doesn’t even bother with a reply this time, he simply shrugs.
“Okay, um, I’ll come with you then,” you mumble hesitantly, gauging his reaction, but he remains silent, pulling ahead to walk in front of you as he heads for the doors and turns in the direction of his brothers’ school.
The silence no longer carries a familiar warmth, or even the relative discomfort from earlier in the week. It hangs over you like a fog now, uncertainty tucked within its blanket. Sukuna hardly seems to notice you’re there, never turning to acknowledge you nor straying off his path. Each time you contemplate talking, the words die in your throat at the sight of his tense jaw.
At least it’s warmer today than it was on Monday.
Standing at Sukuna’s side as you arrive at the school, you quietly examine his face. His eyes are sunken and heavy and his shoulders hunched as though the weight of his burdens are hardly being held up anymore. His eyes are glazed in a way that tells you his dismissive attitude towards you is because he isn’t all there, not present even within his own body.
Clearly the talk with his brothers has had adverse effects not only on them, but him as well.
Hesitantly, you reach out in hopes to ground him, setting a hand near his wrist, where the tips of your fingers graze his skin as they breach the edge of his sleeve. His eyes sharpen as he stares down at the contact of your hand.
Sukuna is accustomed to the way that your skin always seems to sear him. He’s chalked it up all this time to lust, but as the contact of your skin, so soft and gentle, just barely brushes his, he second-guesses himself for a split-second. As if on auto-pilot, he can only watch as he pulls his hand from his coat pocket, flipping it to brush the tips of his fingers against yours. Offering a comfort he isn’t familiar with, one that keeps him present, he fiddles with your fingers as you simply observe his face.
“Are you okay, Kuna?” You keep your voice low, your tone gentle as you take a step towards him, letting him run his thumb over your knuckles as he pleases.
It takes a moment, but he meets your gaze, really meets your gaze, for the first time today. His eyes fall again to your hand as he avoids your question. “They didn’t take it well.”
You nod slowly. “I didn’t think they would,” you admit with a tight-lipped smile. “The nightmares…?”
“None of us have slept.”
“I…” You grimace. “Can tell.” You gently squeeze the tips of his fingers that continue to fiddle with yours.
His chest rumbles in something akin to a laugh, though it lacks humor. “I figured goin’ back to school would do ‘em good, maybe help with sleeping. Cho wasn’t thrilled.”
“He’ll be alright,” you assure Sukuna, the school bell sounding from behind you. His fingers pause for a moment, before he drops his hand back to his side.
Yuji is one of the first kids out the door. He seems to be managing, although his usual energy is certainly dulled. He runs at full force straight into Sukuna, who picks him up with ease as the child clings to him.
“Missed you, Kuna.”
Sukuna hums, gently nudging the boy with his shoulder. “Look who’s here.”
Yuji lifts his head, flipping it around until his gaze finds you. He calls your name happily, though it’s still dulled from the usual excitement that surrounds him. His arms reach for you and Sukuna plops him down on the snow to let him run straight for you.
“Hey sweetheart,” you greet, kneeling before him to let him hug you. Reeling back, you gently brush his hair from his eyes. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay.” He pouts, shaking his head. His hair falls back over his forehead again, so you brush the stray pink strands from his eyes once more. “I miss my brother.”
“Hey,” you coo softly. “He’s not letting you go, honey. We’re going to meet one of my friends for some advice, okay?”
Yuji’s head tilts. “Huh? Advice for Cho?”
You mirror him, brow furrowed. “What’s going on with Cho?”
“He doesn’t wanna play anymore,” Yuji pouts, staring down at the snow under his little feet as he rocks side to side. His little cheeks are red, whether from the cold or unshed tears, you aren’t sure.
With a grunt of effort, you pull the little boy into your arms. He clings to you, burying his head into the crook of your neck as you turn to his older brother. “Is Choso okay?” You query, concerned.
“I’ll let you judge for yourself.”
You turn to the door where Choso emerges, his appearance ghostly. His movements are mechanical as he makes his way up to you and Sukuna. He shoots a glance up to you, but doesn’t acknowledge you otherwise, staring blankly off to the side as he waits for Sukuna to lead the way.
“Hey, Choso.”
Silence.
You frown, precariously balancing Yuji in one arm to reach down and gently run a hand over Choso’s hair. He blinks a few times, meeting your gaze. Although the boy traditionally looks tired, his eyes are devoid of warmth. He’s running on empty, completely gassed, and you can understand suddenly why all three of them had no desire to show up to classes.
“You know what I think this day calls for?” You shouldn’t be shocked to find that none of the three brothers reply, but Sukuna at the very least gives you his attention. “How do you three like cinnamon buns?”
“I like them,” Yuji mumbles into your shoulder, gripping your coat.
Well, at least one of them will give you an answer. If that’s the best you can get, you’ll take it.
“Great! You can get whatever treats you’d like, alright?”
Your enthusiasm is met with silence. This is one of those moments where it becomes glaringly obvious who raised the two boys.
Simply to fill the silence, you inquire with Yuji how his day went, plopping him onto the ground when he becomes too heavy to carry. He gingerly reaches for your hand, squeezing it as he talks about his day and a book his class has begun to read.
Yuji begins to drag your hand, falling further and further behind as he grows tired, practically trying to clamber onto your back as you stop to wait for a crosswalk.
Taking notice, Sukuna reaches down to pick up his little brother. “C’mere,” he mumbles as he lifts the child over his head until he’s sitting soundly on the man’s shoulders. You smile softly at the sight. They may not share a mother, but you’d hardly believe it. They’re like twins, only born several years apart.
Yuji idly tugs at Sukuna’s hair as he sits atop the man’s shoulders, a good six feet taller than where he usually stands. His older brother swats at his hands with a grimace, staring ahead as the boy settles and leans his torso on the back of Sukuna’s head.
You keep an eye on Choso, who begins to trail behind the closer you get to the cafe. You’re a good thirty minutes early, but you don’t think it’s a particularly good idea to have the kids listening into the legal discussion either way, so this will give you a chance to grab a table just for them.
Sukuna ducks as he walks into the cafe, ensuring he doesn’t smack his brother’s head on the doorframe, while you trail behind to wait for Choso. When his eyes meet your feet in front of him, they slowly trail up until he finds your gaze. It twists your heart, to see how blankly he stares at you.
“Hey honey. If you don’t want to talk, that’s totally fine, but I just want you to know I’m here.”
His eyes flicker between yours.
Kneeling down to his height, you smile softly. “Do you remember when you found that paperwork and I told you that your brother would talk to me if he needed help?”
Choso blinks a couple of times, and for a moment, you think that’s the most you’ll get from him, but he finds it in himself to nod.
“Well, he did come to me for help. We’re gonna meet my friends at the cafe in a bit and they’re gonna help your brother. He’s fighting for you. We’ll figure things out, okay?”
He nods again, taking a meager step forward before finding his way into your arms. You hug him back tightly and rub his back.
“Thank you.” It’s quiet and hoarse, you can tell he hasn’t spoken in a while. But it’s a step forward, and you’ll take it.
A knock on the glass grabs your attention and you pull back a bit to look up at the cafe window above you. The picture of stoicism, Sukuna stares down at you from within, pointing behind him with his thumb.
‘Got us a table,’ he mouths through the glass, before turning back towards the interior. You don’t catch a word he says, narrowing your eyes as you try to make out what he’s trying to tell you.
“He got a table.” Choso mumbles, the tiniest hint of a smile on his face as you turn back to him.
“Is he, like- really bad at that?” You ask, smirking as you point a thumb in the direction where Sukuna was moments ago.
Choso nods, his smile turning up sliiiiightly more.
“And here I thought it was just me,” you grin, standing back up and leading the way to the back of the cafe where Sukuna’s got two tables reserved, one with four seats, and a smaller one with two. He must be on the same wavelength as you, having deliberately chosen a table with enough distance to keep the conversation private, while still having the kids nearby.
He pulls a stack of very ripped and wrinkled papers from his bag, setting them face down on the table as Choso crawls into a tall chair beside his brother. With an arched brow, you set your hand on the paperwork as you take a seat beside him, asking a silent question.
“You can read ‘em if you want.”
Flipping them, your eyes first skim the tape that holds each page together, then the contents themselves.
“What happened to them?”
“I was pissed.”
Clearly. But you keep that thought to yourself. You skim the contents of the legal documents, nails tapping against the faux wood grain table rhythmically.
Case No. 2493
Social File No. 34785-98
Next Court Date: March 23rd.
In The Matter of Choso Itadori and Yuji Itadori.
Turns out, it only takes four sentences before you’re frowning at the page, the legal jargon a little bit beyond you. Of course, it’s not entirely illegible and you’re thankful you’re an English literature major, but the jurisdiction codes and notes are a bit beyond any English diploma.
“This is… a lot.”
“You’re tellin�� me,” Sukuna mumbles, glancing at his watch. “We got some time, you want anything?”
“I’m okay, thanks Kuna.” Keeping your head buried in the paperwork as you try to dissect an ounce of what the documents say, you chew on your lip as Sukuna drags his brothers to the counter before stepping off to the side to await his order.
With your head down and brow furrowed in documents, you don’t notice Kento standing opposite you with a decently sized box from your parents.
“Good afternoon,” Kento greets you, punctuating the sentence with your name. Your head whips up with a smile as you greet the two men. Standing beside Kento is another tall man with tousled short brown hair, sunken eyes, and a prominent nose. He’s wearing a t-shirt and jeans, with a blazer over top, which is about what you would imagine a law student wears. “This is Higuruma,” he introduces the man.
“Hiromi is fine,” he chuckles, surprisingly informal for someone leaning in to extend his hand to you.
Shaking his hand, you flash him a grin. “Nice to meet you,” you greet him, imparting your name. “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I appreciate this.”
“It’s not a problem,” Hiromi chuckles kindly, taking a seat kitty cornered from you while Kento sits across from you. Hiromi has an air of tiredness about him that’s not entirely dissimilar to that of Sukuna.
Sukuna returns just in time, a tray of cups held high above the ground to prevent a certain young boy from dangling off his arm and spilling them.
That same young boy happens to be dangling off his other arm, though it hardly seems to weigh the man down as he easily holds both the boy and the bag of treats up. He mumbles something to Choso as he sets the tray down, making a motion for the boy to look in his backpack.
Kento and Hiromi watch in barely-masked shock as Sukuna gently directs the kids to a smaller table in the corner, handing them the bag of sweets and a cup of hot chocolate each. Choso tucks a couple of coloring books and markers beneath his elbow as well as they leisurely make their way to the little table in the corner.
With a heavy, tired, sigh, Sukuna takes a seat beside you, pulling the last two cups out and setting one in front of himself and one in front of you.
“Oh, I don’t-”
Ignoring you outright, Sukuna speaks up. “Woulda gotten you both somethin’ but I don’t know your orders,” he gruffs to the two men opposite him, his jaw tightening at the painfully obvious shock and hint of guilt that gleams in Kento’s eyes.
“That’s… Quite alright,” Kento clears his throat, introducing Hiromi and Sukuna to one another before passing you the box of belongings your parents had sent with him. Hiromi extends his hand again, though Sukuna’s not so eager to take it. It’s all a bit formal for him.
“So, I assume this has to do with legal questions,” Hiromi chuckles wryly as you take a sip of your drink.
Your exact order.
Sukuna remembered.
Sukuna hums, sliding the papers across the table without a word. Hiromi coughs once at the sight of the ripped papers, stifling a laugh at the unsightly state of them. It fades almost immediately as his eyes trace the Times New Roman that litters the page.
With a sigh, he runs a hand through his hair, leaning over the table.
“Right. Before we start, I need to make something clear. What I’m doing right now is illegal as a student, so you can’t breathe a word that I was here,” he states firmly, hollowed eyes flickering between the both of you.
“I’m good at keeping secrets,” Sukuna mumbles, amusement pricking the edge of his tone.
Hiromi glances back at the kids, catching his meaning. “They’re yours, then? Legally, I mean?”
“Yeah.”
Hiromi sighs again, nodding. “I see. Give me a moment to read these.”
“In the meantime, can I get you both something to drink?” You ask politely.
“Coffee, black, please,” Hiromi replies, leaning over the table on his elbow as he tilts the first page read over a rip, casting the glare on the tape elsewhere.
“That will be fine for myself as well, thank you,” Kento smiles kindly. He waits until you’re out of earshot to speak to Sukuna while Hiromi reads. “She cares about you a great deal, you know.”
A muscle in Sukuna’s jaw ticks. He had a feeling this was coming, though he’d hoped you simply wouldn’t leave his side. He can only avoid his mistakes so long, it seems.
“She’s a good friend.”
Kento’s reaction gives nothing away, his observant expression looking for a break in Sukuna’s aloof features, any sign that he’s the shallow asshole Kento had taken him for. When he doesn’t find it, he nods slowly.
“She is. She deserves that same treatment back.”
Sukuna’s lip twitches, bordering on a snarl that he only holds back out of courtesy of the blonde doing him a favor. “I’m aware.”
Kento sighs, his posture relaxing in his seat as Sukuna bites his tongue, matching Kento’s sigh with a striking glare. “Listen, I believe that we may have gotten off on the wrong foot, and given how close she is to both of us, I’d prefer to be on friendly terms.”
“Mm.”
Gathering that Sukuna isn’t one for words, Kento continues. “I see now that there are…” he pauses, his eyes sliding to the right where the two kids are quietly coloring. “Extenuating circumstances behind what happened and I may have misdirected my anger. So, I apologize.”
Sukuna quietly observes Kento’s surprisingly sincere apology, nodding slowly. “I appreciate you lookin’ out for her.”
Sukuna doesn’t exactly verbally accept the apology, but that’s not uncharacteristic of him. Besides, he can’t exactly hold a grudge against the man who’s helping him in a legal battle. 
“Of course. Let it be known, however, that if you hurt her again, I will not take it so lightly.” Kento adds grimly.
Sukuna huffs. “‘Course.”
“Great.” Kento extends a hand as an act of good will.
“Can we cut the formalities? They aren’t really my deal.”
Kento cracks a smile, nodding. “Sure, Sukuna.”
The sounds of the cafe make for a relatively comfortable silence in spite of Hiromi’s obvious discomfort of the conversation happening over his head. The sounds of the coffee machines, clinking of glasses, and slamming of fridges help to make the environment a little easier on the three men.
“Alright,” you plop down in your chair once more, “two black coffees.”
Both men thank you as you settle beside Sukuna.
“How are the kids?” You quietly ask, leaning back to glance at them.
Sukuna shrugs. “Coloring Spider-Man probably. They seem fine.”
“Alright,” Hiromi taps the stack of unkempt papers against the table, grabbing a pen from the pocket of his blazer and a stack of sticky notes from his pocket. Somehow that’s just so law student that you find yourself with a lopsided smile as you watch. “I’ll need a bit of extra info, can I ask some questions?”
Sukuna slides back in his chair, grimacing to hide his disdain for needing to share his personal life. “Shoot.”
“Right. So, I’ll need the relationships of everyone involved in their lives. Parents, grandparents, and siblings.” He positions his pen to take notes.
Sukuna, begrudgingly as ever, sighs. “Kaori and Jin Itadori are their parents, Jin passed away three or so years ago,” he begins, his leg tapping beneath the table. You’ve noticed he seems to do that whenever the subject of his father comes up around people he isn’t comfortable with. “I’m their half-brother. Father’s side.”
Hiromi nods, writing away with his pen.
“No family remaining on the father’s side apart from myself. They got an uncle and aunt on the mother’s side, as well as a grandfather, I got no contact or names for any of ‘em.”
Hiromi glances up, his eyes sliding towards you. “And your girlfri-”
“We’re friends. She looks after ‘em sometimes,” Sukuna interrupts, keeping his gaze straight ahead. You’re grateful he does, your cheeks absolutely alight with heat. Pulling your hands politely into your lap, you fiddle with your fingers.
Sensing he may have hit a sore subject, Hiromi scratches the back of his neck. He tugs at the collar of his shirt, returning to his notes. “Right. How’d you end up with custody to begin with?”
“Their mother moved for a job before Yuji turned one. When I reached out when our father passed away, she didn’t respond.” Sukuna keeps his replies short and simple, only divulging what he needs to.
Hiromi pauses for a brief moment to stare at Sukuna, as if in disbelief. Kento’s expression matches, but he quickly clears his throat to keep the conversation going. “And the contact with their uncle and aunt? Grandfather?”
“They ain’t my family. I don’t have contact. Lawyers tried, no answer.” He shrugs.
Hiromi jots down more notes, pointing the back of his pen towards Sukuna. “That’s good for you, by the way.”
Sukuna nods slowly, though he’s unable to let his guard down regardless.
“What methods of contact did you use?”
Hiromi clicks his pen a number of times and Sukuna crosses his arms over his chest. “Email, mail, and phone.”
“Was she in communication before Jin passed?” Hiromi queries, leaning over his notes.
Sukuna pauses, narrowing his eyes in thought. “I think so. I don’t have Jin’s phone anymore.”
Hiromi hums, scratching his jaw as he takes down notes. “I see. Are the kids…” he pauses, swinging the end of his pen in the direction of their table, “aware of this?”
Sukuna visibly tenses. “Yeah.”
Gingerly, you slide your leg closer until it’s sidled next to him. Although he doesn’t react, his bouncing leg slows to a halt, as does the subtle shaking of the table. You smile to yourself that you’re able to bring him the comfort he stubbornly refuses to ask for.
“Did she come to you first before sending these over?” Hiromi asks, making a motion towards the legal documents.
Sukuna shakes his head.
“Right. That should do it for the petitioner’s side,” Hiromi hums, tapping the back of his pen against his notes. “Let’s talk about you and your brothers.”
“My favorite subject,” Sukuna grumbles.
Hiromi offers a sympathetic smile. “I get it, believe me. I’m a pretty private person, too. Now, what’s your major?”
“History.”
Hiromi’s brow raises. He seems somewhat surprised, though he doesn’t voice it. “Got anything lined up for when you graduate?”
“No.”
“I assume you’re working as well.”
Sukuna grits his teeth, fed up with the overly personal questions. “Yeah. I’m a mechanic and I stock shelves.”
Hiromi leans on his arm as he jots that down. “You’re a busy guy,” he mumbles, met with Sukuna’s glare at the unhelpful commentary. Hiromi seems unphased, chuckling. “Sorry, my bad. Do you own or rent?”
“I rent an apartment.”
“Three bedroom?”
“Two.”
“Got it. Alright,” he sighs, running both hands through his hair and leaning back in his chair until it’s precariously balancing on the back two legs. With a thud, the chair slams down onto the floor. “Sounds like a fairly standard case. There’s a number of things here that’ll work in your favor, but-” he pauses, wording his statement carefully. “Trying to win a guardianship case against their biological mother isn’t something I would call easy.”
Sukuna nods.
“Let’s go over the basics. She’s trying to claim them as her right as their mother, but she’s also claiming you’re unfit for guardianship on two counts, lack of funds and irresponsibility. That means you’ll need to prove otherwise on both counts, while also convincing them that the right place for the kids is with you,” Hiromi states, shuffling the opening page aside to briskly scan the second page. “At the end of the day, the judge will choose what’s right for the kids. The mother will have a bit of a leg up on you since she won’t have to fight any claims of ill-doing.”
Sukuna frowns. That doesn’t exactly bode well for him.
“You’ve got some good things going for you, though. You should have a record or be able to pull a record of your contact with her. Having two jobs, although not ideal, has its merits as well. Your brothers are clearly both healthy and I assume you’ve kept them in school as well and you’ve had them for three years now, that’s a strong argument.”
“There’s a ‘but’ somewhere here,” Sukuna frowns.
“There… is,” Hiromi agrees, running another hand through his tousled hair and disheveling it further. He leans forward, picking up the stack of legal papers. “I’m assuming the reason she took a job overseas in the first place is for money. She’s paying for a good lawyer,” he points out, setting the paper back down on the table and sliding towards Sukuna. “They’re expensive for a reason, and they’re not just the best in the city. They have national renown.”
Your heart sinks at the sound of that. “So, pro-bono…?”
“It’s certainly an option,” Hiromi avoids your gaze as he replies, something that doesn’t sit well with you. “Legal clinics and pro-bono are meant more for standard cases-”
“You said this was standard,” Sukuna contains his growl, his voice strained. His leg presses hard against yours, his anger contained with all the strength of a bottle cap.
“It is, on paper. The problem here that I’m concerned about is her choice of lawyers.” He taps his pen on his notes as Sukuna drags his hands over his face in exasperation. “They aren’t… exactly known for losing.”
“Fucking... Just fucking great,” Sukuna gripes, leaning over the table on heavy shoulders. He downs what’s left of his coffee, pressing a thumb into the crease between his brows.
“I would be willing to bet that she purposely chose to spring this on you before the kids are old enough to testify.”
“Choso isn’t old enough…?” You query with a frown.
Hiromi slides the legal papers back towards himself, looking over the listed birth date. “No, he’s one year off, and even if he was, you would still need to convince them he’s mature enough.”
“Fuck,” Sukuna sighs, his chest tight. “So my odds aren’t good then, are they?”
Hiromi watches his words as he scratches the back of his neck. “Uh, they’re not ideal. I’d say two to one, but not impossible. You do have a lot going for you.”
“What do you think he should do?” You ask softly.
Hiromi sighs. “Your best bet will be to really lean in on the fact that you’ve had them for three years because she never replied. Call your cell carrier and get phone logs if they’ve kept them, grab any copies of letters sent, pull up emails, anything you can to prove you reached out.” Hiromi pauses, setting his pen on the table as he takes a sip of coffee. “Pull up every record you have that proves the kids are in good health. Things like vaccination records will go a long way. If you can get your employers to write letters detailing your work ethic, that’s worthwhile too. Anything to prove you’re fit.”
Great. His employers get to know about his brothers. Everyone gets to see into Sukuna’s personal life.
Just fucking great.
Sukuna leans hard against his hand, roughly rubbing his eyes. “Sure,” he huffs, swinging a hand through the air. “Why the fuck would she be doing this in the first place?” He leans back suddenly, whipping his hand through the air in exasperation. “Three years ago it wasn’t her fuckin’ problem, so what changed?”
Hiromi flips to the third page of the documents. “If I were to guess, she wants the government grants for childcare.” His eyes skim the second paragraph on the page, pausing as he thinks over what legal code the paperwork is recalling. “I assume you get that right now with two dependents.”
“Yeah, it pays my fuckin’ rent. She’s got money, though, what the fuck changed?”
Sukuna’s clearly running out of patience, to no fault of Hiromi’s, but he’s completely unphased by him. Whatever type of law he’s going into, he must be accustomed to this kind of behavior.
With a tight-lipped smile, Hiromi shrugs. “All I can do is guess. I don’t know.”
Sukuna rakes a hand through his hair. “So, what the hell do I do about the pro-bono thing?”
“I have some contacts that I can recommend that might give you a break on the cash side, but yeah. I’d recommend against going the free route. I really don’t think you’ll have a foot to stand on if you do that.”
Sukuna stands abruptly, his chair scraping against the tile flooring. It echoes loudly around the little cafe, pulling all attention towards him, but he pays it no mind. His brow twitches, crimson eyes filled with distress. “How expensive are we talkin’?”
Hiromi frowns sympathetically. “Two months’ rent I’d guess, though they may cut you a break but it’ll depend on how long you spend with them.”
Looking between the kids and Sukuna, you can see the questions rising from them as their brother holds the cafe’s attention. In an effort to keep everyone calm, you brush your fingers gently against Sukuna’s wrist, your nails dragging softly over his wrist tattoo. “Take a seat,” you urge him, pointedly tilting your head towards his little brothers, who are both staring at him with wide eyes.
Sukuna inhales sharply, taking his seat again. “Is that the high or low end of your guess?”
“High,” Hiromi tries to assure him.
“Great,” Sukuna growls, his anger directed at no one in particular.
“Is there anything else we should know?” You query quietly in an effort to keep the conversation from Choso and Yuji.
Hiromi taps his fingers on the table in thought. “I get it, Sukuna, I really do, but you need to have the patience of a god in court.” Sukuna’s teeth grit on instinct. “A judge won’t take kindly to a mouthy defense. Only speak when spoken to. Got that?”
Sukuna scoffs with all the dramatism of a man falling apart at the seams. “Yeah. Whatever.”
“Thank you, Hiromi. This is a huge help, really.”
He offers a kind smile. “It’s no problem, really. But remember, you got this info online or something,” he chuckles, taking a sip of his coffee. “I’ll have Kento send you some of my contacts.”
“Thank you. And no problem, this was nothing more than a helpful websearch,” you giggle, checking on Sukuna in your peripherals. He’s staring at his little brothers, the sound of clinking metal muffled by his pocket as he opens and shuts his lighter.
You give him a nudge, pulling him back to the present, if only for a moment. “Mm. Thanks, Hiromi.”
Hiromi, clearly sympathetic to what Sukuna’s going through, smiles. “Happy to help. Thanks for the coffee.”
You say your goodbyes and gather the kids’ belongings and the box from your parents, offering Sukuna a ride home. It’s chilly and getting dark, and the last thing you need is for a man not in his right mind to try to walk two scared kids home.
Fuck, what a situation he’s in.
He accepts your offer with a nod, letting you lead the way and chat with the kids as he trails behind.
The ride is quiet. Even by Yuji’s standards, it’s painfully quiet. He points out some street art of a monster with a crown that he likes, but it seems to be the most even the five-year-old can manage. Their whole family is emotionally drained.
Even by your standards, you’re running on empty at this point. There’s only so much emotional strain you can handle and between the concern that had distracted you all week and a long day of walking on eggshells around Sukuna, your social battery is running low too. There’s only so much you can handle when the man in your passenger seat has nestled his way into your heart and left an irreparable hole in which only he could fit.
Your heart can only handle so much distant love.
It became increasingly clear over the past week that his absence was making your heart grow fonder. Although you were apart for a while after Christmas, his continual emails sated the part of you that craved him so desperately. Without that, a chasm opened and swallowed you whole, unable to fight it for even a moment.
Still, even in the bone-weary silence of your car, being surrounded by Sukuna and his sweet little family holds a temporary bandage around the pieces of your heart. It’s flimsy at best, fleeting as it begins to unravel with each disheartening snap and gripe that comes from Sukuna, but you can’t blame him when his entire world is caving in around him.
Hell, you can’t even begin to worry about the pain the squeezes your heart when he’s barely holding it together beside you. Usually the face of stoicism, yet his well-put-together seams are cracking, revealing his facade not just to you, but to everyone.
Sukuna’s door swings open the moment you park as he stumbles on his feet as though your vehicle had been claustrophobic. He sets a large palm on the hood of your car to steady himself, dazed.
Pushing down the uneasy feeling building in your chest, you keep calm as you lift Yuji out of the back seat and watch him run over to Choso, getting on the tips of his toes to whisper something into Choso’s ear.
Rounding the car, you try to grab Sukuna’s attention, the look of helplessness on his face catching you off guard as he makes a point of hiding from his brothers. His grip on your car is unyielding, his knuckles white from the effort of holding himself upright.
“Keys?” You whisper quietly. He blinks a couple of times, his chest rising and falling startlingly quickly as he fumbles in his jacket pocket with his spare hand. “I got it.” Gingerly reaching out, you slip your hand into his pocket, careful to pull out only his keys and not his lighter.
Jogging up to Choso, you smile reassuringly. “I just need to talk to your brother. You two go upstairs for me, okay? Lock the door behind you.”
Choso nods, pausing to peek past you at his older brother. There’s a silent question in his eyes that he won’t voice. Whether that’s a trauma response or that he knows you understand, you can’t say for sure.
“He’s okay, don’t worry sweetheart,” you reassure him, ruffling his hair.
He puts his trust in you with a half-hearted attempt at a smile and grabs Yuji’s hand to lead the way into the building.
The sun has mostly set over the horizon at this point, casting dark purple hues over Sukuna’s tattooed cheeks. He hunches over the hood of your car, leaning his body so heavily over the vehicle that it dips under his weight. He exhales shakily, dragging his hands down his face.
In your best effort to comfort him, you gently rub his back. His muscles are taut beneath the down of his winter coat, his back rising and falling just a bit too quickly for your comfort.
“Sukuna?”
He forces himself upright, raking his fingers through his hair.
“Fuck!” He barks, taking a step away from you to pace along the side of your car. His mind is a jumbled mess and he doesn’t know how to make sense of the thoughts that seem to relentlessly batter him, leaving him with a heaving, tight chest, searing anger, and something he can’t put a name to.
Anxiety.
“Sukuna?” You try again as his pacing grows erratic.
“Fuck, I don’t fucking-” he stammers, fists balling at his sides as he struggles not to launch the closest thing to his hand into the wall. Again. He doesn’t need to break his lighter twice in only a couple of months.
You take a step towards him in an attempt to disrupt his pacing course, but he simply turns on his heel in the other direction.
“That fucking-”
“Sukuna!” You jog around to face him, gripping the open front of his black coat and stopping him abruptly.
“What?” He snarls breathlessly, pulling back against your grip.
You don’t relent, keeping him in place although you know he has the strength to tear himself from you if he wanted.
“Can you breathe, Kuna?”
He tugs against you once more, gripping the top of your vehicle. It’s cold on the pads of his fingers, a sharp contrast to the blazing heat his body is overproducing. He doesn’t, can’t, reply to you, but you don’t need him to, the answer is written plain as day for all to see.
He’s panicking.
He’s spiraling downwards harshly and his anxiety is taking along with it the strong front that Sukuna has worked relentlessly to maintain. His own body is forcibly breaking down the walls he built not only to keep himself safe, but also his brothers.
His body is begging you for the help he’d never ask for, lest he suffer alone.
“It’s okay if you can’t,” you soothe, your voice low and gentle as he leans against your car. “Sit down in the back of my car,” you urge sternly, attempting to tug him towards the back door.
He forcefully pulls back out of your grip. “I’m not my fuckin’ kid brothers, don’t fucking treat me like them,” he hisses, fire swirling beneath the surface of his eyes. It’s a meager attempt to mask his distress.
You frown, unmoving as you contemplate how to help someone who doesn’t want your help. Someone who doesn’t want pity or sympathy, who wants only respect and nothing less.
It doesn’t matter how much respect for him you have when looking back at him he sees only sympathy in your eyes.
“Please, can we talk? It’s cold out here, just sit in the back of my-”
“For fuck’s sake, what the fuck is there to talk about?” He yells, whipping his hand through the air. He reels back, rubbing the heels of his palms against his eyes. “I can fucking handle things, stop sticking your nose in my damn business,” he hisses in a strained tone, rubbing at his chest in discomfort.
Your eyes trail down to watch the way he clutches at his shirt and pulls the collar from his neck as though it’s choking him, his lips slightly parted as he struggles to breathe. “Sukuna, I know you can handle things. Just listen to me, okay?” His eyes snap to you. “Have you had a panic attack before?”
“I’m not havin’ a fucking panic attack, christ, just- gimme some fuckin’ space,” he backs away from you, walking over to his apartment building’s exterior and rummaging through his jacket pockets in search of cigarettes. He pulls out a small cardboard box, flipping it open with shaky hands and muttering a curse under his breath as he comes up empty. He tosses it at full force into the building, leaning his head against the wall a moment later as his vision grows white at the edges.
“Sukuna,” your tone is firm as you come up behind him. “Please sit.”
By some miracle, he flips until his back can slide down the wall and he’s finally sitting, his gaze fixed nowhere in particular behind you.
Letting out a sigh of relief, you lower yourself down to your knees to sit in front of him. Thank god. Even as the cold snow melts beneath you and seeps into the warmth of your pants, chilling the skin of your knees, you push through. Setting your hands on his forearms, you rub soothing circles into them.
“Here, are your hands cold?” Sliding the tips of your fingers along his arm and raising goosebumps with your touch even through the barrier of his jacket, you gauge the temperature of his hands, nodding to yourself. “They are cold… here-” you lift his hand up to cool the back of his neck, which is overheating even in the below freezing weather. “I think that should feel good.”
It shouldn’t piss him off as much as it does that you’re right. It does help, leaving him completely at your mercy, as Sukuna himself doesn’t understand how to quell this feeling.
“Breathe with me, okay?”
He doesn’t react, but his crimson gaze falls to your chest, studying the rise and fall. You direct him by repeating a gentle “in… and out,” moving your thumb along his arm in time with your own breaths and instructions. He closes his eyes as the pain in his chest eases and he’s able to catch his breath.
Continuing to soothingly run your thumb along his arm, you carefully reach up to brush his sweat-slicked hair from his forehead. He stiffens briefly, but quickly relaxes without bothering to open his eyes.
Your heart twists at the intimacy of the situation, but it’s neither the time nor place to concern yourself with your own emotions.
You can handle the way your own chest tightens as Sukuna’s finger twitches and brushes your wrist, settling against the warmth of your skin.
You don’t dare interrupt the peace, giving him the time he needs to find his grounding. It takes him a few moments, but he moves his hand from the back of his neck, settling it on his knee. His gaze fixes on something in the distance as he takes a long, exhausted breath.
To your surprise, his arm that you’re still rubbing circles into flips and his thumb and fingers wrap around the circumference of your forearm. With a lopsided smile, you squeeze his arm back.
“Talk to me.”
With the sun completely set over the horizon, the only light that illuminates Sukuna’s face is that of the light over his apartment building. It glows faintly, flickering every so often with a golden hue that paints the broken expression on his face in such a way that even in this dire situation, he looks ethereal.
His gaze travels upwards as the light flickers again, the golden hue glimmering against the packed snow beneath your (very cold) knees. “I can’t afford a lawyer,” he mutters shamefully, his brow furrowed.
You contemplate your next words very carefully given Sukuna’s nature. “What can I do?” To help?
“Nothing,” he scoffs, his eyes not leaving the point where his hand connects with your arm. Even with a jacket between you, your presence brings him comfort. “I’ll figure shit out like I always do.”
“You don’t need to do this alone, Kuna.”
The glare he shoots you is sharp. “I can manage.”
“Manage until- until what? You have another panic attack?” Although your tone is still gentle, there’s a prickle to your words.
“I didn’t have a fuckin’-”
“Bullshit!”
Sukuna blinks. He can’t remember if he’s ever heard a curse leave your lips. There’s a fiery determination lit beneath you that he won’t quench with his distilled anger.
“You’re allowed to need help, Sukuna. It doesn’t make you weak.”
His grip on your arm tightens, almost uncomfortably. He doesn’t know how to take your words and his vexation is only growing. “I’ll need to take more shifts,” he mumbles.
“I’m here. If you need someone to watch the kids,” you offer.
His chest rises and falls heavily as he exhales slowly. As if coming to some sort of conclusion, he frowns. “You’re too kind, princess.” His tone is uncharacteristically weak and painfully distant. He squeezes your arm once, before dropping it to pull himself up off the ground. He brushes snow from his pants and coat and picks up the empty cigarette box crumpled on the ground. “I’m gonna head inside.” His gaze turns down to your knees as you follow suit and stand before him. “Go warm up and dry off.”
“Are you sure you don’t need-”
“I’m fine.” He assures you, turning towards the door without so much as a goodbye, but he thinks twice on this and pauses before he can enter his building. He examines your frown as he fights an internal debate. His sharp gaze traces your movements as you swipe your tongue over your lower lip and bite down on it.
He’s caught up on a strange inkling in his mind that doesn’t really make sense to him, but he gives pause to it.
Your lips look like a goddamn invitation. He’s not thinking about your body, or the way your skin sears him when you brush his hand. It’s something entirely else that he wants to act on, and all you’re doing is standing there, the picture of uncertainty as you fiddle with your fingers and chew on your lips.
Your god forsaken lips.
“Sukuna?” You meekly question, tilting your head.
He swears you could have the world if you truly wanted with just a tilt of your head.
It’s a shame Sukuna knows he doesn’t belong in your world. You’re too kind, you always have been. You’re like the syrup they drizzle over cheesecake, or the decorative sprinkles that top that shitty whipped cream that bakeries love to use. The sugar-free kind that doesn’t quite taste right and you’re not sure why they even bother with it, so they add the sweetest sprinkles to compensate.
Once again, Sukuna thinks about how you’re the sun, and he’s nothing more than a distant star sputtering out on the horizon. He doesn’t consider that every star is a sun to someone else.
“Sorry,” he mumbles. “Was just thinkin’. Thanks for organizing today, gave me a lot to work with.”
And with that, he’s pushing through the door before you can even tell him that he’s welcome.
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❦ a/n ; OOPS ALMOST 18K CHAPTER. honestly it just didn't feel right to end it before the discussion with higuruma and sukuna's reaction to it, so here we are. forgive me for the angst :((( i love these babies sm and it physically hurt to put them through this 😭 the support for this series has been so overwhelmingly lovely and heartwarming, i really can't thank you all enough. seriously, y'all are the sweetest and the comments and asks i've received about this series brighten my day every single time 🫶 anyway, ily all and i'm sorry 😭
❦ taglist ; OPEN. please comment here or on the masterlist if you would like to be tagged. age MUST be easily visible on your blog.
@yenayaps @rinachains @aiicpansion @fushitoru @gojoscumslut
@hellish4ever @kasukuna @theonlyhonoredone @catobsessedlady @timetoletmyimaginationfly
@clp-84 @coffee-and-geto @candyluvsboba @favvkiki @gojodickbig
@spindyl @ohmykwonsoonyoung @kyo-kyo1 @officialholyagua @coldluminarykoala
@ieathairs @cinnamxnangel @nessca153 @aerareads @after-laughter-come-tears
@tillaboo @thepassionatereader @erencvlt @v1sque @a-girl-with-thoughts
@lauuriiiz @blueemochii @paradisestarfishh @erenxh @call-me-doll8811
@toulouse365 @dabieater @janrcrosssing @satsattoru @moonchhu
@privthemis @captainsarcasmandsass @ryomeowie @vitoshi @kunasthiast
@axxk17 @toratsue @bluestbleu @yuji-itadori-fave @totallygyomeiswife
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writing & format © starmapz. art © 3-aem. dividers © adornedwithlight & cafekitsune
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strwbabydoll · 3 months ago
Text
The Feeling Came Late (I’m Still Glad I Met You)
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pairings: grumpy!college student! Harry x fem! sunshine!reader
summary: Harry hates Y/N, it seems like it's been like that forever. He's quick to insult and correct her even when she's right, he's just always been the only one to pick on her no matter what she does. She doesn't understand why it's like this between them or what she did to make him dislike her so much, but what if it's all just a lie?
overall warnings: slow burn, eventual smut, sexual tension, kind of enemies to lovers, angst, alcohol consumption and drug mentions, foul language, Harry is a major asshole in this tbh, heavy on the grumpy x sunshine in this.
chapter 2/? (wc: 3.4k)
masterlist
001 | 01 | 02
- - - -
Chapter 2: Surprise, Surprise
Harry wakes up to the sound of his phone dinging and he grumbles as he sits up and stretches. He looks around and stops his tired gaze at the small window next to his bed. It's dark with just a hint of sunlight beginning to cut through the glass windows, this is definitely not the scenery he's used to when he awakes from his slumber. Groggily he grabs his phone with one hand and rubs his left eye with the other, turns on the phone and hisses as he squints. 
He quickly turns the brightness of the screen down to a manageable setting and mumbles under his breath when he sees it's a little past six in the morning. 
"Who the fuck is awake right now and why are they trying to talk to me. Someone better be fucking dying." The message is from an unknown number, the numbers staring at him tauntingly. 
///
Unknown: hey. it's y/n. i got your number from principal Oscar. lmk whenever works best for you and i'll do my best to arrange my schedule otherwise! :)
— — — 
He grumbles once more about the timing of the text and stares at the screen trying to think of an appropriate response. He could and absolutely wants to just leave her on read and never talk to her again. That seems like the most appropriate since she interrupted his sleep, why is she even up this early? But maybe he should show a sliver of compassion and reply to the text briefly before going back to sleep. 
He decides on not texting back, simply because all this thinking of replying, responses and times is making his head hurt, so he sets his phone back onto the small wooden table beside his bed and clambers back into the warm cocoon of his blankets. Wrapping himself  in the thick blanket, he sighs blissfully as his head relaxes into the soft cushiony bed. He begins to close his eyes and go back to sleep, the pleasant warm feeling of sleep very quickly approaching him. 
Just as soon as he gets comfortable and almost falls asleep, his phone dings once more. He grumbles as he throws the blanket off of him and grabs his phone once again. The same numbers teasing him as another text comes through. 
///
Unknown: this is harry right? i'm so sorry if this isn't! 
////
He rolls his eyes as he mumbles, his fingers typing away on the keyboard as he sends his response. 
Harry: Yes, it's me. In case you haven't noticed, it's five in the morning. I was asleep.
///
He gets a response almost immediately, as if she was staying in the chat waiting for a response.
Unknown: yes i know! why are you still sleep? i like to get my day started early!
Harry: Because no one in their right mind is up this early.
Unknown: sorry for waking you! just wanted to see what times and days work best for you. :)
Harry: Give me a couple hours.
Unknown: okay! have a good nap! :)
— — — 
He mumbles again as he sets his phone grumpily back on the table, wrapping himself back into his blanket just to find it's not as warm anymore. He mutters under his breath, silently complaining about her up so early and choosing to annoy him so early as well, and to top it off she made him lose the warmth of his blankets. He wraps himself up in the blanket and lays back down, resting his head on the soft pillow as he closes his eyes. 
Opening his eyes once more a couple hours later, he gets up and stretches once again. The muscles in his back pops smoothly and he groans softly. He gets out of his bed and quickly makes his bed,  wrinkles sit in the middle of the blanket as he sets his pillow on top, but he can’t bring himself to care. He feels much better after getting another couple hours of sleep. 
He heads into the bathroom and relieves his bladder, sighing in relief as it empties. Shutting the lid down, he flushes the toilet and heads to the sink so he can wash his hands. After he's finished, he brushes his hair and puts it in a man bun.
Walking over to the small dresser where he keeps his clothes, he opens his needed drawers and pulls out an outfit. Settling on a white Rolling Stones t-shirt and some black skinny jeans, he gets dressed and makes sure he puts on his signature rings. Once he's done with that, he sprays his Tom Ford cologne and grabs his phone, responding to the very few notifications he does have and stares at Y/N's name in his message list. 
Her simple text stares at him, somehow politely demanding a response from a couple hours ago. He huffs and mutters 'fucks sake' under his breath as he clicks on it and begins to type out his response.
///
Harry: I'm available anytime
/// 
Not too long after, just long enough for him to set his phone in his pocket and slip on his brown Chelsea boots, his phone dings. 
///
Y/N: okay! um how about tomorrow around 6 at the library?
— — — 
Harry laughs dryly at her enthusiasm as he sends a plain thumbs up, the yellow emoji a stark contrast in the very one sided text conversation, and afterwards he heads out the small bedroom in his dorm and heads to the front door. He passes the various pictures of his roommate and his girlfriend and a couple of pictures showcasing his orange kitten, Delilah, in various moments. She was wrapped up in a soft towel from the day Harry brought her home, and other moments where he thought she looked pretty and decided to capture the moment. 
All the pictures are neatly hung in a long cardboard frame, colorful tacks adding a pop of color to the otherwise boring wall of pictures. The small hallway leads to a basic living room, a simple gray futon sits alongside the cream colored wall with a modern artistic sketch hanging above it, a dark brown bookshelf holding all their movies and the very few books and textbooks they happen to own is placed next to the futon, and a small dresser underneath a decently sized tv. 
In the corner of the living room area sits a small gray cat bed and Delilah lays there peacefully sleeping in a little ball, her tail twitching occasionally. The ends of Harry's lips begin to curl upwards at the sight as he slowly walks over to the small dresser designated just for her. He silently opens the top drawer and opens the small can containing her food. The smell quickly floods his nose and he grimaces as he walks over to her food bowl and pouring it in there, silently gagging as it squelches into the bowl. 
He throws away the now empty can in the small trash can and grabs her water bowl walking over to the dresser once again and fills it with a small water bottle sitting in the top drawer. He sets it down beside the food one carefully because he doesn't feel like cleaning up water right now and walks back to the dresser. He opens the second one and grabs a few of her favorite toys and sets them under the coffee table in the living room, allowing her something to do while he's gone and turns on the tv. Quickly pulling up her favorite tv show - Animal Planet - he walks over to her and very gently rubs the top of her head. He coos at her softly to coax the sleepy kitten awake. 
Delilah stretches and yawns as she opens her eyes, focusing on Harry crouching above her, she lets out a tired but happy meow as she nuzzles her face into Harry's hand. 
"Good morning, sweet girl. I gotta get to school but you got everything set up for you, just how you like. I love you and I'll be back soon." He says with a small laugh as he gives the small kitten a couple extra pets and gets back up, stretching slightly as he heads to the door, making sure to grab his signature leather jacket from the futon as he opens the door and heads out. 
— — — 
It doesn't take him long to head to the campus thanks to his dorm being a short drive from the campus. He parks his car in an empty space nearest the school and he sits in the car after he turns it off. He watches her as she walks to the bike rack, her long hair flowing gently behind her as she walks due to the wind blowing. She's dressed in an olive green sweater and dark blue Levi pants that flare at the end, she'd pair it with some white Nike Air Forces, a medium sized white tote bag and a matching olive green thin belt, he can see the small shimmer of her jewelry shine when the sun hits it as she ties her bike to the small rack. 
He turns the key to shut off his car and opens the door, slowly stepping outside the car as he puts on his jacket. He closes the door with a soft slam and locks it, the beep alerting the girl as she turns around, her hair briefly swishing in front of her face as she turns. He watches as she frowns in anticipation of a snarky remark but returns to normal when it doesn't happen. He slowly makes his way to the entrance, purposely avoiding eye contact with her as he grows closer. He hopes she gets the hint to leave him the hell alone, and wants to keep their interactions to an absolute minimum. 
"Hey!" He hears her voice ring out from behind her but his pace doesn't falter, he actually starts walking just a tad bit faster in an attempt to get inside before she reaches him. He makes it to the top of the steps before he feels a soft hand grip his shoulder and a tug, signaling him to turn around. He slowly turns around, face deadpanned and he takes a deep breath. 
"What?" 
"Any place specific you want to meet in the library?" She asks softly and he shakes his head as he turns around swiftly and starts his journey into the school once again. He can feel her presence behind him and his frown begins to form. 
He chooses to ignore her as they walk, the chatter of the other students in the hall filling their ears as they continue. One of Harry's friends, Alex, walks up to Harry with a big smile as he pays his shoulder and glares at Y/N. 
"How you doin' Haz?" He asks and Harry's frown only deepens at the unwanted conversation. 
"Not now Alex." He shakes his head as he heads to his locker. He can hear Alex scoff as he walks away but he can still feel her presence behind him. 
He scoffs lightly as he gets to his locker, one ringed hand reaching up to twist the little knob to the correct numbers and opens the door. He quickly grabs a textbook and slams it shut and he walks away, leaving a hurt and confused Y/N standing at the locker. 
— — — 
She can't help but frown at Harry's more than usual grumpy behavior as she heads to her own locker, true enough she was the main reason why he's so grumpy but honestly how was she to know he’d still be sleeping? It’s not her fault that she just loves helping people! She should know better than to assume they'd be friends simply because she's tutoring him, but she assumed they'd at least be better than this. She hoped he would be somewhat tolerable, a very silly thought of hers because when is he ever tolerable? She doesn’t know how it came to be this way. She can remember a time where the two of them were cordial and even dared to say the best of friends, but then something changed and she wishes she knew what it was.
She wishes she could just go back in time and watch the two of them under a microscope to see what went wrong, to figure out why he hates her. She misses him terribly, but that’s kept locked away in a box of her feelings and emotions never to be seen again alongside her favorite childhood memories. 
She huffs in frustration when she can't get the lock to open, her combination not seeming to work as she twists and twists. She swears it's the right one, so she tries once more and she's met with once again the lock not opening. 
"Come on!" She huffs as she stares at the lock intently. Beginning to think that maybe she changed the lock combination, she tries a different sequence of the same numbers and after a couple of tries she finally hears the satisfying click as the lock opens. 
She quickly grabs the textbooks for her first two classes and shuts it gently as she walks to her first class, her tote bag gently bouncing off her hip as she walks. She just barely makes it to her first class before the teacher closes the door, her hand pushing on the tall wooden door as she cries out 'wait please!' The door opens and she sees the teacher smile softly as he lets her in. 
"Just in time Y/N, have a seat." He says and she nods silently, with her head down she quietly makes her way over to an empty seat towards the back of the class. Grabbing her notebook and a pen out of her bag, she begins to write down the title of the notes she's gonna be taking and pulls her assignment due from the front of the notebook as well. 
— — — 
Time seems to fly in front of her eyes, the day taking not nearly as long as it usually feels like as she gets released from her last class of the day. With a smile on her face, she plugs her earbuds in her phone as she walks through the halls, stopping briefly to answer any questions from her classmates and to wave goodbye to her teachers. 
She spots Harry talking to a pretty brunette, one of more popular girls who also happens to be on the cheerleading team she thinks, her lips pulled back into a dazzling smile as she twirls her hair around her finger as she speaks. Hesitantly, she makes her way over and taps him on the shoulder, meekly saying 'excuse me' and she's greeted with a very nasty glare from the girl. 
"Um, we're talking." The girl says with a frown on her face. Y/N can't help the flush of embarrassment that begins to heat her cheeks up as she looks down. 
"I'm sorry, I just wanted to remind Harry of the library. It's at six, if you can't make it or gonna be late, just let me know." Y/N's voice comes out quietly as she speaks, her hands subconsciously moving to her front as she begins to play with her fingers. 
Harry lets out a very unenthusiastic 'uh huh' as his eyes never leave the brunette's and he begins to talk to her once more, completely ignoring the other girl behind him as the brunette smirks and plays with the collar of his t-shirt. When she realizes that he isn't paying attention, she frowns slightly before making her way out of the school building as music plays in her ears. 
She mumbles curses to Harry under her breath as she unties her bike and sets the cord in her bag. Hopping on her bike, she begins her ride back to her apartment. She smiles as she passes the cars and families out and about, their joy and love radiating off of them making her smile and aw. As she continues biking, she makes a quick stop at her favorite flower shop, propping her bike against the side of the store and she quickly walks in. The smell of all the flowers welcome her warmly as well as the bright smile of the lady standing behind the counter. 
"Y/N! So good to see you! How've you been?" She asks and Y/N smiles as she walks up to the counter. 
"Hi Tameka! I'm good, how are you?" Y/N asks and Tameka responds with great enthusiasm as she starts telling the younger girl about her kids and how the store's been getting along. 
Y/N loves coming to this flower shop because no matter how long she stays away, she's always greeted with a warm welcome, one that reminds her of her mother at a young age. The shop gives her a sense of family no matter what happens, and she's never been more grateful. After Tameka finishes rambling on about her life, she turns her attention to the younger girl as she props her head onto folded manicured hands and flashes her a warm smile. 
"Here to get the usuals? Anything new to update me on chica?" Y/N shakes her head with a small laugh as she leans on the counter. 
"Of course, you know I never stray. And no new updates unless you count having to tutor the boy who seems to hate my existence an update." She says and sighs, the thought of having to do so is a big damper on her happiness and a heavy weight on her heart — it’s not that she doesn’t want to tutor him, she just knows that it’ll be like pulling teeth with him. She’ll have to pry answers out of him and will more than likely be the worst tutoring session ever, she’ll be exhausted afterwards. 
She can't help but to wonder how it'll go, will he be the same as he is in school? Is he gonna spend the whole time mocking her and poking fun (he most definitely will, she’s sure of it. He won’t turn down an opportunity to annoy her and get under her skin), or will he be kind and listen to her (maybe in another universe, some alternate reality where they’re cordial. She’s silly to even think this was a suggestion, she should know him by now), asking questions whenever he's confused? Will the session end in a screaming match as he tests her limits or will it be calm as he complies and agrees to her help. 
As she pays for her flowers, she can't help but to ask herself those questions. She knows wondering won't help determine the outcome of the coming day, but she knows there's only one way to find out.
She makes her way home, her bouquet of flowers sitting neatly in her tote bag as she rides along. She takes pleasure in the feeling of the wind brushing against her skin and flowing through her hair as she pedals along. The sound of people chatting on the sidewalks and the sound of cars whirring by her and honking at others fill her ear and she just smiles. She enjoys the sound of her community while others might say that it’s too loud and there’s no peace in all of the noise, she says otherwise. She can’t imagine her city in silence, to not listen to the usual sound because it’s all she knows. 
She makes it home and parks her bike beside her apartment, tying it up and making it inside the building. She heads down the short hall and to her door, unlocking it and walks inside and smiles at the sereneness of her own space. She locks the door behind her and sits down on the couch with her notebook and her favorite pen, thinking of the best way to carry out these sessions with Harry. What would be the best approach and everything to do with it. She wants to make sure that he understands that she’s not going to allow him to just walk all over her and cheat his way through. 
She wants to actually help him, not just give him what he wants; she wants to give him what he needs and what he needs is someone to take time out of their day and work with him, cater the worksheets and lessons to how he learns best so he can actually learn the information. She can only hope for the best as she begins to write out a plan for the next few weeks, she just knows that she’s going to need all the luck dealing with Harry.
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jobean12-blog · 8 months ago
Text
The Fine Print
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader (CEO!Bucky AU)
Word Count: 4,126
Summary: You've been working under Bucky for almost a year and he's always been a grumpy ass and even though when the lines get blurred you can't seem to stay away.
Author's Note: These new pics and all the new gym shots and vids and yum! Just being fed so well! I like the idea of a grumpy CEO who just wants you and he's mad about it. No excuse for being a dick but he's not really all bad. And anyway, I'd never tell him no...haha! Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Thank you Daisy for the lovely divider @firefly-graphics😘
Warnings: Grumpy ass Bucky (he's a total ass sometimes but has moments of softness), sassy reader, lots of tension, flirting, curses, fingering, light dirty talk
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“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
You’re late. Only twenty minutes but it’s long enough that your grumpy ass of a boss will have your head for it.
Grumpy…and an ass but entirely too gorgeous.
You pick up the pace, precariously balancing your files and bags and hoping you don’t faceplant on the newly shined floors.
Getting a flat tire on the highway this morning wasn’t on your long to-do list for today, but it still happened and now you’ll have to deal with a very cranky Mr. Barnes.
You round the corner and enter your office, ready to give your usual sunshine filled greeting.
“Good morning, Mr. Barnes!”
He’s standing at your desk, arms crossed over his broad chest and his eyes hard.
“Is it a good morning?” he asks, not bothering to move out of the way as you try to slip around him. “What time is it?”
You stop and meet his glare.
“I had some car trouble this morning. I got a flat on my way in.”
Your voice comes out steady and strong and relief floods through you. This was the first time you were late, and you were not going to be reprimanded.
“Trouble is quite the fitting word for what I’ve been dealing with in your absence.”
You glance up at him and his antagonizing stare, and blink away your surprise at his words.
“I would have thought you would at least ask me if I was ok Mr. Barnes,” you say sweetly and with a smile. “After all, how could I possibly manage to fix a flat tire all on my own.”  
His jaw clenches tightly.
“Obviously you managed,” he counters. “And you look just fine.”
Beautiful blue eyes wander languidly down your body before making their slow perusal back up to study your face.
You try to school your features and when he raises an expectant brow you bite back with, “Thankfully I am fine, and I got help but I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with the burden of picking up a telephone and sending an e-mail all on your own this morning. It won’t happen again.”
He takes a step closer to you and you stop yourself from swaying forward to get a hint of his scent.
Traitorous body. If only the fucker wasn’t so fucking hot.
“You’re right. It won’t,” he replies with a smug smile. “And just so you don’t forget, I’d like to see…”
He spends the next minute rattling off several project pieces he’d like to see completed and on his desk by the end of the day.
“And then you can make up the half an hour you missed by getting together a mock presentation for our meeting tomorrow.”
When your nostrils flare, he smiles triumphantly and dips his head, so his warm breath caresses the shell of your ear.
“I’ll see you in the conference room at six.”
He turns away and slams his office door behind him and you let out an exasperated puff of air.
“It was only twenty minutes asshole.”
You mutter the words under your breath as you plop into your office chair and continue to curse his name in grumbles.
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There’s a light knock on the door before it opens and you know you’re about to hear the voice of your friend and coworker, Jess.
“I know you’re working through lunch,” she says. “So at least let me get you something.”
You don’t look up but smile nonetheless, your fingers flying over the keyboard with ease.
“Honestly, I don’t even think I have time to eat,” you say before hitting the period button hard and meeting her eyes.
Jess gives you a sympathetic look. “I’ll grab you something nutritious.”
She waves before gently shutting the door. You lean over to check your desk drawer for snacks, the mention of lunch reminding you that you are in fact, hungry. At the same time that you see you have nothing to eat you notice a tear in your stockings.
“Son of a bitch,” you grumble. “I just bought these.”
Less than a minute later your door opens again and without looking up from your screen you whine, “do you know what, after the morning I’ve had I think I’ll take something sweet…maybe a cookie. Or twelve. Or chocolate of any kind.”
When you receive no acknowledgement, in return you glance up and see that Jess is not standing at your door.
You quickly tug the hem of your skirt down, noting how Bucky’s eyes track the movement and linger on your legs.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Barnes, I didn’t realize…”
“Since your morning has been so awful,” he starts, his sly smile growing, “why don’t you run down to the café and pick us both up some lunch.”
Your lips purse and once again his eyes seem glued to every action you take.
“Mr. Barnes, Jess has just come in and said she would grab me something to eat so I can continue working through lunch.”
When he doesn’t say anything, you continue.
“I have A LOT to get done.”
“I’m sure you’ll make it work,” he says before rattling off his lunch order.
He turns on his heel and takes two long strides back to his office, pulling the door closed hard behind him.
“What the f…?”
You don’t even finish the sentence when he opens the door again and pokes his head out.
“Make sure you get yourself something to eat. We’re going to be here late.”
The door slams shut again, and you abruptly stand, your rolling chair flying back into the wall as you storm off.
“Why does he care if I eat or not?” you ask yourself as you angrily stuff things into your bag and throw it over your shoulder.
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The rest of the day goes by far too quickly and you find yourself cursing out the copy machine as you wait for the rest of your papers to go through. Checking your phone you see you’re already almost ten minutes late to your afterhours ‘meeting.’
You rush down the dim hall of the now empty building, your presentation materials clutched tightly to your chest and glance again at your phone.
Fifteen minutes. Shit.
As you near the conference room, you try to calm your breathing and slow to a walk. A soft light shines from under the door, and you know he’s in there waiting for you.
Taking a deep breath you knock.
“Come in.”
You walk into the large room, never failing to take in the view of the city that the floor to ceiling windows along one wall highlight.
At the head of the large dark wood conference table, sits Bucky. His suit jacket is hanging haphazardly over the back of his chair, his tie is loose around his neck, and the crisp white sleeves of his button down are rolled up to his elbows.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Barnes. The copy machine…”
Realizing you’ve been apologizing all day, and it has made no difference, you stop yourself and lift your chin, walking over to where he sits and placing down your papers, sorting through them as quickly as possible so you can begin.
“Have you eaten dinner?” he asks.
His question takes you completely by surprise and you meet his piercing blue eyes with a confused expression.
“I uh…I had lunch.”
“That doesn’t answer my question sweetheart.”
At his sugared endearment, your eyes widen, and your breath catches in your throat, but you regain your composure.
“No. I haven’t.”
He just nods and gestures to the papers, clearly waiting for you to get started.
You lean over the table, searching for the paper you need and in your disheveled state don’t realize your entire lower body is practically draped over him.
“I just need to find…”
The words catch in your throat when you feel his fingers softly touch your thigh, slowly inching higher to reveal the tear in your stocking. His fingertips trace the sheared fabric and press against your skin, igniting it with heat.
Every muscle in your body tenses, your heart pounds in your chest and your brain screams at you to push him away but you don’t dare move.
“Look at me,” he demands, pressing his fingertips harder into your skin.
You straighten and turn to face him, his hand sliding up and over the curve of your hip to settle on your waist.
“Mr. Barnes?” you ask, keeping your eyes trained on his.
“James. Call me James.”
The intensity of his stare makes your breath catch and when he doesn’t answer and instead continues letting his hand trace your curves you battle with your emotions.
“The next time you have car trouble,” and his hand slips under your skirt again, “you call me.”
“What? Why would I?”
His fingertips graze the lace top of your stocking before he lifts your skirt higher and drops his eyes between your legs.
“Because I said so,” he murmurs, teasing along your inner thigh.
Your hand falls to the table to steady yourself and you willingly spread your legs open when he gives them a slight push.
“That’s hardly a good reason,” you breathe out.
“Fuck,” he growls, and his eyes fall closed.
You glance down at his lap and see him straining against the expensive fabric of his pants.
He smooths two fingers along the line of your panties, lightly pressing against your swollen and sensitive clit. His eyes open and he looks furious, fisting the thin material in his hand and in one quick movement, tearing it off.
He pulls you down roughly onto his lap, your skirt riding up over your hips to accommodate the wide spread of your legs as you straddle him.
An involuntary moan slips past your parted lips when he grabs your ass and drags you down over his hard cock.
When he opens his mouth to speak you grab his tie between your fingers and use it to pull his mouth to yours. Every sweep of his lips is heaven, and you release his tie to rake your fingers through his hair.
He makes a low, angry noise deep in his throat and you trail your lips along his jaw, kissing your way down the strong column of his neck.
His hand slides from your ass and slips between your legs, his fingers brushing through the wetness just before there’s a knock on the door.
You both go completely still and wait. When a second knock sounds, he quietly curses and gently lifts you off his lap.
You quickly pull your skirt down and smooth your hands over your hips. He watches your every move as he runs a hand through his mussed hair and sits up in the chair, hiding his legs and erection under the table.
“What?” he growls, loud enough for whomever is on the other side to hear.
“Mr. Barnes, we’re scheduled to do maintenance in here tonight.”
He curses again and continues to stare at you.
“I’m just finishing a meeting. Give me five minutes.”
“Of course, Mr. Barnes,” the maintenance manager, says, “take your time.”
His chest rises and falls rapidly as he splays his hands out over the tabletop. Hastily he stands and tries to straighten his tie, his eyes landing on your ripped panties that lie on the floor.
He grabs them and rubs the silky fabric between his fingers.
“Make sure you eat something,” he says and then shrugs on his suit jacket, tucking your panties into the breast pocket.
You’re clutching the table and staring as he grabs his briefcase and starts toward the door.
“It’s late. I’m going to have security walk you to your car,” he states, finally meeting your eyes.
His groan is pained as his gaze travels down your body and then he disappears out the door.
You fall back into a chair and try to calm your breathing. You’d have to be out of here in a minute and you didn’t want to look suspicious. Seeing movement outside the door you begin gathering your things and stand on still shaky legs.
With a deep inhale you straighten your shoulders and walk out the door with a serene smile, greeting the head of security and thanking him for escorting you out.
What the fuck just happened?
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The next morning you’re making your way into the office when he walks in. You do nothing more than greet him with a curt nod, giving him a wide berth of space as you make your way to your desk.
You can feel his eyes on you, the lick of heat traveling down your spine. You’re wearing your favorite dress and while it’s appropriate for the workspace it accentuates all the right spots, and you smile to yourself as you bend down to retrieve something from your desk drawer.
Regardless of what transpired last night you are not going to let it affect your work. You felt powerful and confident in this dress and Mr. Barnes can fuck off.
You peek over your shoulder to find him standing halfway in the doorway of his office and staring. You raise your brows and blink.
He clears his throat and mumbles a short “good morning,” then steps into his office and slams the door.
You roll your eyes and promise yourself he’ll be the last thing on your mind as you set out to get as much work done today as possible.
As lunch approaches you grab your bag and reach for your wallet. Your fingers close around a crumpled piece of paper, and you start to smile when you’re reminded of what it is.
You knock on his office door and saunter inside when he says, “come in.” The receipt hits his desk with a smack and without an explanation you turn and walk back out.
You almost make it to the first step in the stairwell when you hear footsteps approach behind you.
“Where the hell do you think you’re running off to?” he calls.
You continue walking and make it down one flight of steps before saying, “to get lunch.”
He meets you on the landing and clutches your elbow, spinning you around and pushing you against the wall.
Your eyes narrow contemptuously.
He whips the receipt out and in front of your face. “Want to explain this sweetheart?”
You let out a wry chuckle. “You know for such a smart guy you really are an ass sometimes. It’s a receipt.”
“I can see that,” he says through clenched teeth. “What I want to know is why you’re making purchases for…lingerie…on my company credit card.”
“Some jerk ripped up my favorite pair of panties last night.”
You shrug your shoulders and try to skirt past him.
His hand meets the wall next to your head, his fingers curling and crumpling the receipt and you can feel how tightly the muscles in his body are flexed when he presses closer.
He looks tormented for the split second before his lips crash down on yours and your treacherous body melts into the kiss.
His cock throbs against your stomach as he tries to hike your dress up over your thighs. Reluctantly he steps back, making enough space so he can slowly slide your dress higher, above your panties and look his fill.
“I like this pair even more than last nights,” he simpers.
His fingers hook into the lace at your hip, and you grab his shirt. “Don’t you dare Barnes.”   
“You can buy as many new pairs as you want.”
He once again easily tears them from your hips.
Your lips part in shock but he swallows your sassy remark with his mouth. The roughness of his kiss is a sharp contrast to the way his fingers softly tease between your legs.
You need more but you’ll be damned if you’re going to beg him for it. As if he can read your inner thoughts, his eyes light up in triumph when he pulls away to meet your gaze.
“As much as I want to hear you beg me for it sweetheart, I already know how badly you want it. You’re soaked for me.”
“You’re such an ass…”
He slides a finger inside you and your combined groans echo in the empty stairwell, the insult dying on your lips.
His stare is intense as he dips his head to your ear, warm lips brushing ever so gently when he whispers, “say please and I’ll give you what you want.”
Instead, you nip at his jaw, stifling the moan of need that threatens to rise in your throat. He continues pumping one finger in and out, sweat beginning to bead on his brow and his teeth gritted.
You hiss out a curse that’s followed by a breathy “please.”
You’re expecting him to be smug but instead he slows his movements and languidly pushes a second finger inside you, clearly relishing the way your eyelids flutter closed and you clench around him.
“That’s it sweetheart. Show me how much you love it when I fuck you with my fingers.”
His words practically send you over the edge but it’s the press of his thumb to your clit that makes your legs start to shake and his name fall from your lips like a prayer.
When his head falls to your neck and he places soft kisses along your skin, traveling up to your ear to whisper, “come for me gorgeous,” you let go and dig your fingernails into his strong shoulders, finishing with a muffled cry.
He draws out your pleasure with the slow push and pull of his fingers before sliding them out and holding them between you, his skin glistening under the harsh fluorescent lights.
His fingers press to his lips, parting them as he licks them clean, clearly savoring every drop of your taste.
“I knew you’d be sweet,” he croons.
“James,” you whimper when your hands fall to his pants.
He grabs your wrist to stop you and pushes your hand away. With soft movements he fixes your dress, smoothing his hands along your curves.
“But…” you start, and he silences you with a kiss.
You’re breathless and your head is fuzzy by the time he pulls away and with a wink he steps back and says, “lunch is over. We have a meeting to attend.”
He turns on his heel and jogs back up the steps with ease. Your narrowed eyes follow him before you let out a frustrated huff and walk on wobbly legs in the same direction.
You had forgotten all about the meeting…the one you were supposed to go over the plans for the night before.
When you walk into the large conference room everyone is already seated and Bucky is of course at the head of the table. His eyes are trained on you as you walk to the front and place your things down near him.
The presentation you’re giving shouldn’t take more than ten minutes, but there’s a lot riding on it and after what just happened, you’re obviously feeling flustered.
You open your document and greet and address the room, doing everything in your power to keep your focus on where it belongs and not on him.
But when you pause your eyes lock with his and your ability to speak is momentarily stolen. His gaze is intense, the heat simmering there almost palpable.
With a clear of your throat you continue, fumbling slightly but thankfully recovering quick enough that no one seems to notice. No one but him.
His perfect lips raise in a lopsided grin, and he runs his tongue along the seam of his lips. It’s clear where his thoughts are, and you must tear your eyes away to unscramble your head. He’s obviously trying to fluster you and quickly your nerves are replaced with anger, and you use it to fuel the rest of your presentation, finishing it with ease.
You sit with a smile and lift your chin, challenging him with your eyes. He stares right back.
“Thank you,” he says, addressing you by your first name as he stands and commands the room. “That was an excellent presentation. Clearly, you were well prepared.”
You can’t tell if his words are mocking or meaningful and it sets you on edge. He moves around the room and answers any lingering questions before ending the meeting with a dismissive hand.
As people stand and gather their things, Bucky comes up behind you, pressing his chest close to your back as he leans in to pretend to grab something from the table.
“I wasn’t sure you were going to make it thought that” he chuckles.
To everyone else it appears he’s making a funny remark, but you can feel your skin heat at his proximity and taunting words.
“Ugh,” you say through gritted teeth. “You would have loved that wouldn’t you?”
You can feel your eyes fill with unshed tears, the emotions of the day finally catching up to you and when his gaze finds yours his expression morphs from haughty to soft in an instant.
It only sends you reeling again, the confusion flooding through you and before he can say more you gather your things and rush out the door. Unexpectedly, he’s hot on your heels all the way to the elevator.
There are several other people on it so when you stop at the next floor and more employees file in, you’re squeezed toward the back, pushed farther into him, your ass against his crotch.
He’s hard and you feel the rest of him stiffen with the sharp intake of his breath. You take a step away from him, as much as you can in the confined space, but he reaches forward and grips your hip to pull you back.
“Don’t move,” he whispers into your neck.
“I’m two seconds away from shoving my heel up your ass,” you seethe.
He leans even closer, keeping a firm grasp on your hip.
“You were deliberately trying to make me fuck that up!”
You turn your head to peer at him and his mouth falls open, brows furrowed.
“What?” he says.
“You heard me.”
When you reach the floor just before the top, everyone else exits the elevator and the doors close, leaving you both pressed together in the corner.
It starts to move again, and you jerk backward, falling against him as he leans into the wall.
His sudden growl startles you and then he slams his hand into the stop button on the control panel.
His body cages you against the wall and his breathing is harsh.
“I would never want you to fuck anything up,” he exhales. “It’s impossible for me to think about anything but you…how good you taste, and I haven’t even gotten my mouth on you.”
You hide your surprise at his confession.
“Yet.” He adds in a promised whisper.
“This is my career at stake Mr. Barnes. You’re the one with all the power here. What do you have to lose?”
“Me? All the power?” He laughs dryly. “You’re the one who does this to me…the only one.”
You feel him throb against your stomach and you can see the truth in his eyes.
“Then don’t be such a dick all the time.”
You mean the words to come out harsh but instead they’re a quiet whisper and your expression softens.
It’s all he needs before his lips crash to yours and he slides his hands down to your ass, squeezing his way to the hem of your dress.
“I had to sit there and watch you present, the whole fucking time knowing you had nothing on under here.”
His touch is delicate as he spreads your legs and slides a finger through your folds, already wet and aching.
“I was sitting there hard as a rock just thinking about bending you over that table, tasting you, fucking you.”
Your fingers close around his biceps, the soft fabric of his suit jacket bulging under the strained muscles.
“Is that what you want?” he asks as his fingers continue to tease you.
“Yes,” you answer as you grab hold of his tie and bring his lips closer.
He kisses you, never touching you where you need it most and when he pulls away, he presses the elevator button, causing it to start moving again.
He removes his fingers and reaches up to straighten his tie and when the doors open, he backs out, his voice low and deep when he says, “I need to see you in my office. Immediately.”
He turns and glides from the elevator, his long strides carrying him quickly toward his office and you can’t do anything but follow.
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@blackwidownat2814 @hiddles-rose @kmc1989 @goldylions @lizette50
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a11eya · 24 days ago
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TITLE: lights will guide you home
CHAPTER: 11
PAIRING: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader
SUMMARY: Soul-lights aren’t as common in this day and age as they were in the past, before quirks, but they’re common enough that people do still find their soulmates.
At thirteen, you meet Bakugou Katsuki, and he lights up for you in orange and gold. You tell him he's your soulmate. He sneers and tells you that you aren't his. He makes your adolescence miserable until you part ways.
You meet again as adults, late at night, in a grocery store, over a pile of bok choy. He apologizes for how he treated you when you were children.
(In which you have a choice—to reject Bakugou's apology, reject him, or to let him show you the man he's become, to learn with him what it means to love and forgive.)
TAGS: soulmate au, trope inversion/subversion, slow burn, getting together, falling in love, fluff, aged up characters, pro-hero characters, eventual smut, mild bullying
NAVIGATION: Series Masterlist
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“And you haven’t heard from Bakugou?”
“I haven’t.” Kirishima wrings his hands as you nod and look away, trying to hide your expression. In other circumstances, the sight of such a big man—fiery red hair, sharp teeth, muscles and all—fretting in such a way would’ve been funny. Sweet. But as it is, your worry shadows everything.
The first couple of days after Bakugou falls off the grid, you’re a little annoyed. He couldn’t have spared a minute to reply before leaving? Or at least given you an estimate about when he’d be back? Given you a heads up at all?
But a couple days quickly turn into a week, and you begin to worry. Is this normal? Can you call his agency to ask? Or would that be inappropriate, you butting your head into hero business? 
You don’t know if you’re being irrational or if you’re being overbearing when you and Bakugou are just friends. Unrequited soulmates don’t count. You have no real claim to knowledge regarding his whereabouts, his movements. You’re just friends. 
But friends can worry about their friends. That’s totally normal. So you figure—it wouldn’t hurt to ask. Just one call.
“Hi Aiko. I was just wondering…” You hesitate. “You know how Bakugou—Dynamight is away on a mission right now? Would you happen to know when he’ll be back?”
“I’m sorry.” Even over the phone, her regret comes clear through. “I don’t have high enough clearance to know that info. And even if I did, it’s agency policy not to share that kind of information.”
“Oh, don’t be sorry,” you tell her, forcing a cheerful tone. You gnaw at your lip, feeling a little lost. What now?
“But I’m sure Red Riot would know!” she says, just as you make up your mind to say your goodbyes and hang up. “Would you like to schedule a meeting with him?”
You immediately perk up.
“Yes, please!” 
Kirishima touches your shoulder. He says, “I think Bakugou’s been instructed to go dark for this mission.”
You look up into his earnest eyes.
“None of our friends have heard from him either,” he tells you. 
“Oh.” The ball of anxiety that’s been sitting on your chest like a weight lightens just a little. So it’s not just you. 
But is that a bad thing? No one’s heard from him?
The weight returns. 
“Is it normal for him to take missions like this?” you ask. “You guys are used to it?”
Kirishima frowns, looking conflicted. “No… These longer missions are usually reconnaissance or stealth missions, and Bakugou’s quirk doesn’t really mix well with them. But there might be other reasons for him to go dark.”
“I see,” you say, gaze falling to the ground as frustration swells in you. 
You’re so clueless about the hero profession. You don’t know what’s normal, how you should be feeling. If the relative calm Kirishima’s exuding is something you should mimic or if the calm’s due to his familiarity with situations like this. And it’s your own fault. Because in the months you’ve spent learning Bakugou, you could’ve asked about all this. About what he does and what’s to be expected. But you didn’t. 
“Look, please don’t worry.” Kirishima ducks his head to look you in the eye. “Bakugou’s really, really good at what we do. He wouldn’t want you to stress over him being gone.”
“Right,” you say, summoning a weak smile. 
“I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything,” Kirishima promises.
“Thanks Kirishima,” you say. 
“Call me Kiri, if you’re comfortable with it!” he says, grinning. “And send me pics of Mikan and Natsu. Bakugou’s stingy about sharing them.” 
Laughing, you agree. 
You: I finally got Kirishima’s number! Remembered to ask him while stopping by the agency this morning 😌
You send a picture you’d taken—Kirishima grinning in the background with the smoothie you’d gotten him, and you throwing up a peace sign at the camera. 
Smiling a little, you imagine Bakugou’s reaction upon seeing the picture, seeing your message. He has no right calling you squirrely when he’s so weird about you being friendly with Kirishima. You’re not sure, but if you could hazard a guess, you think it’s because he’s uncomfortable with mixing friend groups. Which you can understand—sometimes it just doesn’t work, or it’s awkward to facilitate. But still. 
You admit that it’s fun getting reactions out of Bakugou, that sometimes you do things on purpose. You miss messing with him. 
Your messages finish sending, finally. But just like the other texts you’ve sent over the past few days, there’s no indication that they’ve been delivered. 
Your smile fades. 
“Hey, what’s up?”
Your head jerks up from your phone as you meet your friend’s eyes. Feeling strangely guilty, you set it down on the table in front of you as she settles back into her seat. 
Mitsuru raises an eyebrow at you. “You’ve been glued to that thing today. You expecting  to hear from someone?”
“Kind of,” you say, then make a face. “Or, I guess, not really. I’m not sure.” 
“The most convoluted answer,” she says, snorting. “Here, pick something from the dessert menu while I flag down that server. You can tell me what’s up with you while we eat.”
Sighing, you take the menu from her. 
Mitsuru’s sharp as a tack in general, but she’s also known you since middle school. It’s not often you wish you could hide things from her, but this time might be one of them. 
You haven’t told anyone about reconnecting with Bakugou. Not Mitsuru, or any of your other friends. You hadn’t even noticed you’d kept your friendship with Bakugou to yourself until recently. You’re not sure why. It’s not like you’re actively hiding it. It’s just… how it’s turned out. 
Okay, maybe you’ve been hiding it a little from Mitsuru specifically. But it’s because she knows him from your time at Aldera. She’d witnessed how mean he was to you, had gotten into verbal scuffles with him, defending you, until you’d asked her to stop.
So. You know that she doesn’t have a good impression of Bakugou. Even after all these years, when she sees ads or merch of him, she rolls her eyes. 
But you do want to talk to someone about it, about him, if only to get some objectivity about your worry. And Mitsuru, with her frank, realistic outlook on the world, is perfect for the job. 
So you tell her about it—an abbreviated, edited version of it. About this friend you’d gotten to know over the past couple months. The “business trip” he’d gone on with little notice and no heads up about when he’d be back. That’s you’re worried because you haven’t heard from him. 
Hiding details—that it’s Bakugou, that the trip is a hero mission—makes you shift in your seat, a stone in your stomach. But you’re scared of what Mitsuru would say. What she’d think if she knew. She’d only ever seen the cruel child he’d been. 
Mitsuru gives you a look when you finally fall silent. She plays with her nails, painted to look like glass, haloed like cat’s eyes, then lifts a hand to wrap a strand of black hair around her finger. 
“This friend of yours,” she says. “It’s Dynamight, isn’t it.” 
Your eyes widen. You choke on the water you’d been sipping. 
“What? Why would you—”
Mitsuru watches as you stumble over your words, mind racing as you try to figure out what to say. She sighs. 
“It’s okay. You don’t have to confirm anything if it’ll get you into trouble or something. But I’ve had my suspicions since I saw those promotional pics he took with those kittens. They’re the ones you’re fostering, right?”
Fuck. You should’ve thought of that. Mitsuru was the first to meet them, all those months ago.
“And then there was that noise on social media about Dynamight at that fancy pet store you were excited to try out a couple months back. Don’t think I wouldn’t recognize the back of your little head,” Mitsuru says, eyes narrowed at you. 
You stare at her for a long moment, scrambling for things to say to deny it. She’s cool, eyes steady.
You cover your face with a hand. 
“You can’t tell anyone,” you say, letting your hand fall, and she scoffs. 
“Who do you think I am,” she says. 
“You’re the only one I’ve told about him.” 
Mitsuru raises a brow. She crosses her arms over her chest. “I appreciate you confiding in me, I do, but… I remember that little shit did to you when we were in junior high. What the hell are you thinking?”
You wince. “I know how it sounds. But he really has changed, Mitsuru. He’s not that little kid anymore. That bully. People grow up.”
Mitsuru’s mouth remains downturned, eyes distrustful. 
“We really did meet months ago,” you say. “And within the first five minutes of conversation, he apologized. I wasn’t ready for it then, but… But since then, we’ve spent time together. Gotten to know each other. And he’s only ever been kind to me.” 
You find that your words catch in your throat, an unexpected wave of emotion flowing through you. Fiddling with your fingers, you say quietly, “We’re friends now.”
You raise your eyes to meet Mitsuru’s. 
Her expression has changed, softened a little. She reaches over and rubs your arm up and down briskly.
“Hey,” she says. “You don’t have to justify anything or feel any type of way about being friends with him given your history. I trust your judgement. I’m just worried, is all.”
“I get it,” you say. “He really was an asshole as a kid. But he’s a better person now. Promise.” 
You feel your words with a certainty you didn’t have months ago. The Bakugou you know, who cares deeply for his friends, who’s always honest, who admits his mistakes, who puts so much effort and care into his job, helping people, protecting people—he’s a good person. One of the best people in your life. 
Mitsuru leans back into her chair. She inhales deeply, exhales. She says, “Just one more thing. I… I know you say he’s your soulmate, that you can see his lights—”
Your breath catches. You know she doesn’t mean anything by it. But her doubt hurts. It echoes yours, feeds into an insecurity that’s only just tempered by the reassuring flicker of orange and gold when you see Bakugou.  
“—but I remember how unkind he was when he told you it’s not a mutual thing. I don’t know if you’ve already resolved that with him, but… I don’t want you to get hurt.” 
“I know.” You tap your foot against hers under the table. “Thank you. Really. And we… haven’t talked about it yet. It hasn’t come up.” 
“Why not?”
You shrug, looking away. Prickles of discomfort race up and down your arms. You should talk about it. But. What if it changes things between you? 
Mitsuru studies you for a long moment, then sighs. “All right. All right. But as your friend, I reserve the right to yell at him the second he fucks up. Just letting you know.” 
You snort, tension releasing. “Yes, yes.”
“And you gotta introduce us. Re-introduce us.” 
“I will!” 
Mitsuru reaches over and pinches you in the arm. You whine.
She grins. “Okay, now tell me how the cats got tangled up in being promotional material for Super Explosion Guy blah blah blah. I can be nosy now that you’ve said something.”
You laugh. “His hero name is one of the funniest things about him, isn’t it? So it started because of that pet shop…”
Natsu, your sweet girl, is finally adopted. The paperwork is finalized, Bakugou’s PR people and the foster organization wrap up all loose ends, and you say goodbye. 
It’s quieter, once she’s gone. Lonelier. She was never a noisy cat, but she would always curl up in your lap whenever you’d read or watch something on the couch. Make biscuits on you when you’d drape a blanket over your legs. She was the cuddliest of the three. 
Mikan’s lost both his playmates, and you try to make up for it with extra play time and mental stimulation via things like treat puzzles. You’re glad you still have him. You don’t know what you’ll do when he leaves you too. He’s so big now. 
To distract yourself, you sign up for a cooking class. It’s just one lesson, two and a half hours. You want to feel out the chef instructor, the vibes of doing something like this, before investing in other packages where more lessons are offered over the course of several weeks. 
It’s surprisingly really fun. You’d gone in worried about your knife skills, about keeping up with the instructor. But you shouldn’t have because everyone is super nice and encouraging. The instructor is attentive, patient. And what you make ends up being surprisingly delicious. 
Mitsuru comes over for dinner the next night and you prepare it for her. It’s a hit. 
“How’s pilates been?” you ask, and Mitsuru groans, reclining further into the couch and patting her belly.
“A nightmare,” she says. “I didn’t think it’d be so tough. You’d think two decades of playing sports and generally being active would help. It does in some ways, but not really. You know, I got the shakes yesterday? We were doing an exercise on the reformer and my leg kept shaking, like I had no control over it. It was so embarrassing, jeez. I was at the front of the room, too.” 
You laugh, imagining it, then shake your head. “If you think it’s hard, there’s no hope for me.”
She turns her head to look at you, eyes brightening. “Are you interested? Forget everything I said. It’s amazing. Life-changing. So fun. Easy, even. Come join.” 
Laughing, you push her away as she smacks your leg in enthusiasm. 
“Have you tried pilates?” you ask Kirishima as he finishes taking a big sip of the smoothie you’d gotten him. He’s just wrapped up a workout, and you’re visiting on your lunch break. 
“No,” he says, tilting his head. “My friend Mina does classes at a studio, though, if you’re interested.” 
“I’m definitely not,” you say. You give him a quick rundown of the conversation you had with Mitsuru, adding, “It just got me thinking about maybe joining a gym or picking up something easy I can do consistently. When I moved to this neighborhood two years ago, I canceled my old membership because of the distance. But with how much I’m chained to my desk at work, I figure I should find a new gym.” 
“If you’re down, I can get you started with a couple workouts here at our agency’s gym until you find something you like,” Kirishima tells you. “I know some gyms in this area, so if you want, I’d be happy to help you look, too!” 
You smile up at him. 
“That’d be great, Kiri, thank you! You sure helping me with workouts won’t interfere with your schedule?” 
“We’ll work it out, don’t worry.” He grins at you, giving you a look as if to say, Did you catch that? Did you get it? 
You laugh, shaking your head. “I’m going to ignore that. That’s terrible.” 
“Aww.” Kirishima ducks his head. 
You shake yours. “But really, thank you. For the gym stuff and just for being so nice in general.” 
“Well, we’re friends, aren’t we? Always happy to help a friend.” 
You smile. You open your mouth, then hesitate.
You like Kirishima, think you can become even better friends with time. Still, you’re conscious that you haven’t known him long. That the topics of your conversations have been everyday, casual ones.
But lately, certain heavier thoughts have been plaguing you. Despite keeping busy at work, indulging your interests, investing in your other relationships, you can’t stop thinking about Bakugou. It’s been two weeks now. 
Before, Bakugou being a pro hero meant that every once in a while you’d see him on the news if a villain altercation was serious enough to get covered. It meant seeing him in uniform on the streets during patrol, discreetly waving at him as you passed by on your way to and from work. 
Now it means struggling with not knowing where he is, when he’ll be back, if he’s safe. When you’ll see him again and if he’s okay.
How do heroes, especially ones who grow up together as classmates like those attending UA or Shiketsu, handle all these feelings? How do their—their friends, their families, and their partners manage the fear and uncertainty? 
You know you’re not doing a good job of it.
Looking up into Kirishima’s friendly face, those bright eyes and comforting smile, you take a little leap. 
“Can I ask you a question? A kind of serious one.” 
“Anything!” Kirishima says. He gestures for you to sit on a nearby bench, taking a seat next to you after you’re settled. 
“What’s up?” he asks. 
You take a deep breath and decide to just go for it. 
“How do you deal with it? The worry, the… all these terrible feelings when your friends are risking their lives fighting people or going off on these long missions?” You have to stop yourself there, worried that if you keep going, you won’t be able to stop; all of these feelings you’ve been grappling with will just come rushing out. 
Kirishima’s gaze softens, understanding. His mouth sets into a thoughtful line as he considers your question. 
“It never stops being tough,” he says slowly. “Simple patrols can turn into fights, or chases, or rescues all the time. Other heroes with more specialized quirks and jobs can be put into even more danger than us regular heroes, depending. I went to school with people who told us the risks, and we faced them. Even earlier than we should’ve.”  
For a moment, the planes of his face fall into a weariness, a seriousness you’d never seen on him before. That lovely light in his eyes dims, just a little. 
He meets your gaze. “And we still stayed on with the job. For lots of us, helping people, keeping people safe, it’s worth all of it. But for our family, partners, who’re civilians, it’s hard.” 
“So it never gets easy? You just have to live with it?” you ask quietly, that burden settling heavy in your heart.
“I don’t know about easy. But. For me, uh. I don’t know if this’ll be helpful at all, but, um, I try to stay in the present. I used to always be thinking about what ifs or things that hadn’t happened—yet, I thought, and worked myself up. Still do sometimes. But one of my former teachers told me that that’s no way to live your life. Miss out on so much doing that.”
You can relate.
Kirishima tilts his head, thinking for a moment. 
“Oh! And of course there are, like, mental health professionals and support groups I can connect you to. If you want! Lots of heroes see someone regularly, and so do their family members or partners,” he says. 
“I’d like that,” you tell him. 
He smiles at you, reaches out to pat your hand. “Talking about it helps. Having community helps me most, personally. Friends who have my back, family who care. So. If you need someone. I’m always here, okay? I got you.”
An open hand, so readily offered. 
A little lump rises in your throat. These people you’ve met—Bakugou, Kiri, Pulsar, Shieldmaiden—really are heroes. They’re such good people. 
“Thanks, Kiri,” you say with a wobbly smile. 
The days continue to pass, and you try to stay balanced, focused. Some days you succeed, and others you don’t. 
A new restaurant near your work opens up, specializing in your favorite cuisine, and you and a coworker head out to try it. 
You’re waiting for the light to change for the crossing, chatting with your coworker, when a flicker of orange catches your eye. 
You raise your head, your coworker’s voice receding into the background as you slowly scan the streets for what’d caught your attention. 
There. That orange and gold is unmistakable. Your breath catches. 
“Bakugou,” you say, and—his name feels like it’s ripped out of you, a compulsion. The vowels and consonants are lost to the bustle of city life, but his name remains, a question on your tongue. 
You nearly start forward, stepping into the street, before remembering yourself. It’s so hard to resist the urge to run after him, cars be damned, what your coworker would think be damned. But you hold yourself still, tense. Eyes locked on the man walking further and further away from you.
It’s him, right? If he wasn’t wearing a hoodie, you’d be able to tell for sure by his hair, his build. But the hoodie obscures the lines of his body. This far away, you can no longer make out any flashes of orange and gold.
The wait for this pedestrian crossing is so fucking long. You’re going to file a complaint to—to someone, to whomever is in charge of this shit. Fuck. 
Biting your lip, you watch as his figure disappears around the corner. 
“What’d you say?” your coworker asks, jostling you. 
You blink, feeling a little out of body, dazed. Your coworker peers into your face, concerned. 
“You good?” 
“I—yeah. I’m fine.” Forget about lunch. You need to check your phone. 
But before you can do so, your coworker grabs your elbow, propelling you forward. “Hey, the light’s changing, c’mon.”
Maybe you imagined it. Maybe it wasn’t him. 
The second you got the chance, you checked your phone. But there were no messages from Bakugou waiting for you, none from Kiri. Just a couple from Mitsuru, one from your mom, another from a coworker asking you to pick something up from the restaurant for them. 
Maybe you’re losing it.
You sigh, stroking down the length of Mikan’s back, eyes watching but not perceiving the show you’d put on. 
He’d text you if he were back in town, right? Kiri would give you a heads up. So it was your wishful thinking earlier, your imagination. 
You miss him. It’s been almost three weeks. You’ve thought about reaching out to the groups Kiri recommended to you, but you always chicken out at the last minute, phone in hand, number undialed. 
Kiri’d said that heroes’ family or partners go to these things. He hadn’t mentioned friends. Would it be weird to show up just as a hero’s friend? Would telling them he’s your soulmate help justify it? 
But no, because. What would you even say? Hi, I’m a hero’s friend. Yeah, just friends. Well, no, technically he’s also my soulmate. What do I mean by technically? Well, he’s mine but I’m not his. So yeah. 
Even the thought of admitting that to strangers makes you nauseous. 
And what if you slip and say his name? You don’t want people to know you’re talking about Bakugou. You’re not sure you’re allowed to say he’s on a mission. You’re still not sure you want people outside your personal lives aware that you know each other, are friends. 
You pick Mikan up, lifting him to eye level, and bury your face in his side. That nice cat smell envelops you for a nice moment. 
He squirms out of your grip, jumping to the floor. Giving you a look, he begins washing his fur with his tongue. 
You slump into the couch, defeated.
Bright and early, the next morning finds you at the agency in workout clothes. 
All night, you’d tossed and turned, mind busy. You’d fallen into a fitful sleep around 2 AM, only to wake up again around 5 AM. At that point, you gave up and decided that maybe if you tired your body out, your mind would shut up and let you rest. At the very least, you’re grateful it’s a Saturday and you don’t have to come in to work. 
Flashing a quick smile and wave to the front desk, you use your access card to head up to the gym. The halls are quiet, and the few people using the gym are people you don’t know. 
You slip on some headphones and get to work. 
Truthfully, you shouldn’t be mooching off Kiri’s—and Bakugou’s—generosity. But you’ve really enjoyed the workouts you’ve had with Kiri this past week. He designed a workout routine for you and demonstrated the exercises you’ve been doing. He’s encouraging, and he knows just how far to push you. He really has a way with people. It’s made you less motivated to seek out your own gym. You’ve been spoiled. 
You’ll look into the gyms Kiri recommended later today, you resolve. After a nap. The workout’s done its job. You clean up the machine you’d been using and head out. 
You’re mid-yawn, eyes squinted and watering, so you don’t catch that someone’s trying to enter the gym at the same time as you’re exiting until it’s too late. 
“Oh, sorry,” you say, quickly wiping at your eyes, embarrassed. When they’re clear, you look up, then freeze. 
“Bakugou!” 
Bakugou grunts. Says your name in greeting. His eyes quickly scan you up and down before coming to rest on your face. 
You’re warm, very aware that you’re still a little sweaty. You hope you don’t smell. You want to hug him so badly, but you’re too nervous. You’re self-conscious, shy. You don’t know what’s gotten into you. 
He looks tired, eyes weary. His hair’s grown out a little, longer than you’re used to seeing on him. A bandage rests right below his scar, stark against his skin. 
The little details don’t matter. You’re so happy to see him. You’re smiling, not realizing it. 
When Bakugou doesn’t say anything more, you ask, “When did you get back?”
He hesitates for a second, looks at the wall next to you, then back at you. 
“A couple days ago,” he says shortly. 
You pause. 
“A couple days ago?” you repeat. A feeling you can’t quite name begins to creep up the back of your neck. It’s not a nice feeling. “Oh. Did you, I mean, were there a lot of post-mission things you needed to do?”
“Yeah. A bunch of annoying bullshit.” 
You make a sympathetic sound. There, you tell yourself silently. He had reasons for not giving you a heads up that he’s been back. The world doesn’t revolve around you. 
“What’re you doing here?” he asks. 
The gym’s doors open behind you as someone exits, and Bakugou puts a hand on the small of your back, pulling you to the side and out of the way. 
His hand on your back, even through your clothes, is warm. 
It takes you a second to reply. “Kiri said it’d be okay if I use the agency’s gyms until I find my own. I hope that’s okay.”
“S’fine,” he says. 
His hand’s still on your back. He’s standing so close to you, just looking at you. At your face, darting down your body, as if committing you to memory. As if it’s something you won’t notice. You don’t mind at all. You can’t take your eyes off him either. 
But—
“I—sorry, I gotta ask, it’s bothering me,” you say. “I hear that you’ve been busy, but. A quick, ‘Hey I’m back, I’m fine’ message would’ve been appreciated, y’know? If you were allowed. Was it that you weren’t allowed to tell non-heroes that you’re back?”
Bakugou’s hand falls away from you. He exhales deeply and crosses his arms over his chest. 
“No. Just didn’t have time to talk to you.”
Something sharp and unpleasant rises as a slow wave in you. You remind yourself that busy is busy, and some things aren’t in his control. 
But—it’s been days. If it really was him you saw the other day, out in the city, it’s been at least four days. And it looks like he was heading into the gym before you bumped into him.
Frowning, you shift your gym bag to your other hand, bowing your head. “Bakugou. You were gone a long time, and I had no idea what was happening with you. I feel like you could’ve shot me a quick message.”
“I told you I was gonna be on a mission,” he says, furrowing his brows. 
“Yeah, but you didn’t say when you’d be back, or if it’d be dangerous, or anything except just that,” you say, voice rising a little at the end. 
Inhaling deeply, you force yourself to breathe, speak normally. “Neither Kiri nor the agency could tell me anything. It sucked, Bakugou. I just wanna know what’s going on.” 
Bakugou scowls. 
“Look, I told you I’ve been busy,” he says. “I just got back, give me a fucking second. And I can’t always tell you shit just because it’s inconvenient for you not to know.”
The gym doors open once more, another person leaving, and you become hyper aware that you’re having this conversation in public. Suddenly, you don’t want to be having this conversation anymore. 
“You’re right,” you say evenly. “Sorry for overstepping. I’ll let you get to your workout.”
You move to get past him, and he steps in front of you. You stop just short of touching, your hands tightening into fists. The strap of your bag digs into the meat of your hand.
“Fuck,” Bakugou says. “You’re not getting it. Stop taking shit personally. It doesn’t have anything to do with you.”
You look at him. Shaking your head, you say, “You know what? I’m done here. Bye.”
“We’re not done with shit,” Bakugou says.
“Well I’m done, so back off.”
“Not until—”
“Look, Bakugou,” you say, voice trembling. Shit. You don’t want him to think you’re crying, because you’re not. You’re just so mad. “I’m really fucking upset right now. And the shit you’re saying’s just making things worse. Let’s table this. Let me go.”
He stares at you for a long moment. You stare back at him defiantly. 
“Fine,” he growls.
“Great,” you say. 
You turn on your heel and leave.
Your mind is empty the entire train ride home. 
Distantly, you recognize that your back and neck ache from the tension you’re carrying, but it’s impossible to relax. You feel a little separate from your body, like you’re watching yourself move through the actions of getting off at your stop and walking back to your apartment. 
Once you’re home, you throw yourself into a hot shower, hoping to jar yourself out of the mood you’re in. But even after it, you’re still tense, still aching. 
You try to take a nap. But your body only remembers conflict; the normally satisfying ache and tiredness post-workout is nowhere to be found. You’re wide awake. 
The anger rears its head once more. Why doesn’t he get it? That you were worried, that you wanted him to communicate as much as he could, as soon as he could. 
You understand that he can’t tell you certain things because of the nature of his work. You just want him to think of you, of how you’d feel, of how you felt. 
Then it’s like a switch flipping, and you’re just. Sad. What a dumb thing to argue over. Such a small thing. Did you overreact? Did you mess things up because you’re overthinking things?
But how would he feel, if you did the same thing to him? Just—fucked off to some place without telling him where or when you’d be back? And when you did get back, not let him know until it’s been days? 
Maybe he wouldn’t care. Maybe it’s that you care too much, too much to be right for the relationship you have with him. 
Sleep finds you, eventually. You’re grateful.
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Author's Note: And... I'm terrible! Awful! First I left ya'll with a cliffhanger with chapter 10, and now I show up nearly a year later with this angsty chapter... Feel free to yell at me in the replies, I deserve it. 😔
But thank you to all of you who've liked, reblogged, and commented on chapters of this fic since last update! And sent in asks wondering if I'm ever going to update again!! LOL! Knowing that people are still reading and care to know the end of Bakugou and Reader's story motivates me to keep writing. 💖
I do have about 2K of chapter 12 written... Hoping to post that soon, and not after a year has passed lmao. 😅
Alrighty, take care everyone! Hugs and kisses!!!
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