#sorry I feel weird about gushing with these. Guilty almost :sob:

[minscofrashemen]

GOD.

[artsyxloner]

Not Just a Monster

Warning: blood, violence etc...

21: Outside Invaders

I felt a sense of guilt overwhelm me. When they began to drag Jae-Heon's lifeless body out of the elevator. Leaving the monster inside. I was stuck in a daze, I couldn't hear anything or anyone.

He didn't deserve to die not like this. He should still be alive and with Ji-Su. What will she say? I can't imagine her face finding out he was dead.

I squeezed my eyes shut, but reopened them when I heard my name being softly called. Hyun-Su was still leaning on the storage lockers struggling to get up. He was crying, seeing him in that state made my heart ache never seen him cry before.

Wiping my damp face off I got up and trudged over to him. I couldn't help but to shake Seeing Jae-Heon's blood everywhere and also his decapitated arm laying on the floor.

I averted my scarce eyes, remembering when his arm came flying off. I kept moving until I got to Hyun-Su he looked like he was in pain. But then I noticed his leg, blood was dripping from it and also his bone was sticking out like it had been snapped.

I was sick to my stomach. Seeing all this gore. I held my breath. " Are you okay?" His voice came out as a low whisper. I nodded, my gaze softening. " you're not though." Taking the spear from him. I bent down wrapping my arm over his back pulling him up as he tried to help.

He was heavy when I was successfully done pulling him up. I sat him down on the storage locker. He had brought his leg up, too. I was about to find something to wrap it but I felt his arms sling around my waist.

He buried his face into my pudgy stomach, I stood there frozen As his tears wet my shirt bringing my hand slowly up I ran it through his messy hair, he had given himself a haircut he looked different.

" This is my fault!" He whimpered, blaming himself. But why? He didn't do anything. I shook my head, " it's not your fault. How could've it been?" This just made him sob deeper tugging me closer if possible.

" if I— if I had just rung the bell sooner he wouldn't have died!"

" you don't know that for sure Hyun-Su."

So that was him that tried to warn us. " you did what you could do— no one blames you so don't feel guilty." I hugged him rubbing his back for comfort

" you tried, In the midst of it you got yourself hurt." I motioned towards his injured leg, " this just shows you care and that you're willing to get hurt to save people. You want to be a decent person even though it's fucking hard."

I said this meaning myself included. Bending down I kissed his head, " let's get you out of here okay?" I mentioned, hosting him up by wrapping my long arm around my chest as he slung his over my neck. We began to walk with him slightly limping.

As it still was dripping blood, but it will heal in no time. Making our way through, I had to stay tough for him. I didn't know the relationship between Hyun -Su, and Jae-Heon but I know that he cared for him and Ji-Soo since they came down from the upper apartments that day.

Soon after, Hyun-Su healed the guys had already buried Jae-Heon with the other dead. We were all standing in front of his grave, it was quiet. Hyun-Su stood beside me, he had a Sorrowful frown.

So I slid my hand in with his, he was hesitant as our fingertips brushed against one another. But our hands ended up locking together.

I gave it a gentle squeeze as Gil-Seob came over with a yellow paper flower laying it on Jae-Heon's grave. " you died when you should have lived, and I lived when I should have died."

He stepped back folding his hands together bowing his head. Gil-Seob is right Jae-Heon, he was the one that should have lived and I was the one that was supposed to die.

The funeral lasted for a short while after that, others gave a few words and slowly left. But I stayed, letting go of Hyun-Su's hand. I walked closer to the grave.

" I didn't get to say thank you for the praying session we had earlier, you've helped me I just wish I could've helped you I wish that you got your happy ending with Ji-soo,"

It wasn't fair even if this world was full of unfairness it could have given them a chance. I signed deep, " I'm going to check up on Ji-Soo I'll be back soon." I grabbed Hyun-Su's hand giving it a little squeeze leaving the room.

I figured he had to say some words to Jae-Heon by himself so I didn't want to intrude. Looking everywhere for Ji-Soo it took a while until I found her in a back room. I haven't been in before.

She was sitting in behind a couch, holding half of The katana sword, crying and looking more paler than ever. I frowned, " mine if I take a seat?" she noticed me and nodded. I sat down leaning my head back.

" I'm sorry about what happened, to be honest, it's my fault." I played with my fingers. She looked over at me, a lump formed in my throat I swallowed it continuing.

" I was trying to get Ms. Cha to safety, but the monster kept coming and he was about to hit me and me... I just stood there frozen but Jae-Heon came along and saved me." It was my turn to look at her.

" that doesn't mean it was your fault that could have happened to anyone." Her words were raspy and quiet, but I nodded. " yeah, I guess that's true." I picked up a little piece of my fingernail throwing it.

" it's just I know you're upset, and I know that you guys liked each other." She gripped his sword when I said this. " and it's not fair, but just um think of it this way. He died a hero if that makes you feel any better."

He did die a hero, that's probably the best way to go. I saw a little smile appear on her lips. " He didn't he," she pulled the sword closer to her. We sat there for a while up until I heard a big crash, it sounded like it came from the lobby entrance.

I was about to get up but Ji-Soo grabbed my shirt tugging to stop. " don't... don't go," she coughed, I realized if it was outside Invaders or a big monster they somehow would find Ji-Soo and kill her, she couldn't protect herself right now.

There were all kinds of screaming, I wondered if Hyun-Soo and the others were alright. But soon there was gun a shot that made me jump a little. I don't remember us having any guns?

It was definitely outside Invaders, we kept quiet, not knowing who was shot. I wanted to help and get rid of these bastards. Maybe it has to do with that soldier that came in he acted all weird.

Remembering what he was saying something about the run he was probably warning us. Soon after there was another gunshot followed by footsteps walking this way.

I went stiff seeing the light turn on, and hearing dragging footsteps. I took the half-sword from her ready to use it if necessary. I breathed hard, squeezing my eyes shut then reopening them.

When I felt someone's presence on the couch we were behind, " it's two girls," it was a guy and he said it in a seductive way I didn't like, biting my lip I saw him bringing his crowbar down, " and one of them hurt."

He was about to touch Ji-Soo until I gripped the half-broken sword, swinging it up I smashed the hard end of it in his face. He let out a cry, falling back hitting the floor I was probably sure I Struck his nose.

Getting up he was cussing every breath-holding his face, it was bleeding his nose was all red and starting to well, the dude had crazy hair with ear and lip piercings.

I didn't waste time I ended up kicking his dirty face, in his head flew back. " try and touch her again you bitch!" I threatened, about to hit him where the sun doesn't sunshine until I felt something hard come in contact with my head right near my eyebrow.

They both threw the crowbar at me. Blood soon blurred my vision, seeing the creep get up he tackled me to the ground. I kneed his stomach, hearing him grunt I pushed him off me trying to get up but a sharp pain went through my leg.

I screamed out as He kept making weird-ass sounds, I saw him lick the bloodied crowbar, I almost puked feeling sick. I was about to hit him with the sword again up until I heard another voice.

I stopped, " that's enough," my head turned it was another guy about my age again he looked more decent but I didn't trust its looks were deceiving. " that's not the time to be doing that right now."

He suggested, piping his head out the door. but the crazy bitch looked up in anger. Like he was about to Growl. " get out." He tried to seem threatening but the boy just sighed walking in. " Jeung-Seop is looking for you." He took a small glance at me.

I tried to control my breathing as my leg was gushing blood I was in serious pain. " don't call him by his name you sad little pussy!!" He yelled at the boy but he just rolled his eyes Unphased. " It's not the time to be doing that right now. You could be killed."

He mentioned towards me, " by Jeung-Seop." Staring at the creep, he looked scared with his mouth wide open. But I saw him give the other boy a mean look getting up he walked away. With the other guy.

I let out a breath I didn't know I even had, I was shaking Scooting my leg up I hiss in pain, I ended up grabbing a cloth wrapping my leg tight. The dirty was fabric was already beginning to satin red.

Slowly I pushed myself up with my hands standing on my feet I wobbled a bit, I felt limping over towards the couch. I looked over it seeing Ji-Soo holding her side. " are you okay." I asked taking a deep breath.

My head felt fuzzy, I could see she nodded. " okay, I'm going to barricade the doors so they won't get in." I was about to go until she spoke up. " aren't– aren't you hurt." She whispered, I nodded.

" I'll be fine." Knowing it will heal soon mine just takes a little while. Even though it hurts I blocked the back door pushing furniture and other things against it. Making sure they won't be able to get in.

Next, I shuffled towards the other door giving back the sword to Ji-Soo I was about to shut it. " where are you going?" she questioned, " I'll come back later, I have to make sure you're safe first." was all I said locking the door from the inside shutting it.

I had grabbed a weapon, making sure if I run up on one of them I may be injured but I would surely use it. As I walked down the hallway ready to attack. I could feel my leg healing up by the minute.

@xetherealbeautyx

[seijohsfairy]

Anonymous

Thank youuu sm for doing my request!, it was really good :DOKAY HOLD ON- imagine this ✨ step daddy iwaizumi is in the gym doing what normal people do at the gym. It was like his 5 minute break thing when he thought about his baby. He thought that oh she's probably in her college zoom class or something AND THAT MOTHER FUCKER ahm decided it would be funny to send her dick pics AND VIDEOS OF THEM DOING GOD KNOWS WHAT (he did this in the bathroom ofc) "make sure to keep the volume down😣 save yourself from embarrassment."Plz when she opened the text messages WHILE THE FUCKING CAMERA IS ON her face just goes 😦😳He comes back home to find he's cutie touching herself and crying in frustration because she can't come. And as the good daddy he is he help her and even make her squirt on her fav hello kitty bedsheets :)

𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙰𝚁𝙴

more stepdaddy/ honest iwa because i’ll never get enough of him (๑ १ ˑ̫ १) thank you for the thirst baby!! my brain is vibrating

tw (step)daddy hajime, ddlg-ish, masturbation, filming, size, praise & degradation

“Daddy, daddy, please,” is the first thing he hears when he finally gets back home, and for a split second his mind goes to walking in to find someone else fucking you. “Ah, ah, wanna cum. Please -hmh- make m-me cum, daddy, miss you — so much,” you sniffle, voice high pitched and so soft. But judging by the state of the living room, you clearly threw a little tantrum, so a smile slips on as he walks over to the bedroom.

Pillows having been tossed onto the floor in frustration, laptop abandoned on the table. You must notice his heavy footsteps, because suddenly the house grows very quiet, but the damage has been done. And it doesn’t take much to notice how you’re hidden under the blankets when he opens the door.

“Baby, daddy’s home. What are you doing in here?” he frowns when the lump under the blankets hesitates for a few seconds, then peeking out your head with a pout. It’s only half-hearted, you look so fucking cute right there after all. But still.

“I… I wasn’t doing anything. I just…” you trail off, blinking up at him. Hajime schools his features back into a neutral expression before walking over to the bed. You put your arms over the blanket to keep it in place, eyes widening. “W-wait, daddy. S’not fair, you were sending me things while I was in class. Just wanted to- make t-that weird feeling go away.” You look away when he urges your arms up, giving in so easily for daddy. It’s so cute, almost making him smile. He shouldn’t reward bad behaviour, but fuck, you’re stupidly sexy like this. Looking up at him with heated cheeks and tears in your eyes.

“Hmm, that weird feeling?” He peels the blanket down your body, revealing your tits and hardened nipples, as well as your glistening fingers and wet, fluttering pussy already ready for him. And he groans, because it’s exactly the thing he was imagining when he locked himself in the stall of the gym earlier, quickly fishing out his phone to film.

Sweat shining on the skin of his abs and thighs in the low light, hard cock beading precum that slowly runs down the side of his cock and makes it glisten. He bites the edge of his shirt harder as his tightened fist goes over the head of his cock, squeezing a bit harder to imagine your clenching cunny around his length. “Mhm, always— get me so fuckin’ hard, look how much daddy’s cock is drooling for you,” he grunts under his breath, making sure the video picks up the low tremble of his voice as well as the sounds of him stroking his fat cock to the thought of being home with his baby girl already.

“Wanna fuck that pretty pussy, make it mold to the shape of my cock again. You’d like that, right doll? You’d like daddy fucking you stupid on his big cock, making you forget your words?” He can already imagine how you’d mewl and cry when he gets his hands on you later, cock twitching in his hand when he squeezes again and more precum oozes out. Cock flushed red and veins protruded in both his needy cock and his arms and hands, he already knows what the sight of it all will do. “Stick your fingers in your mouth for me and suck them nice and good, imagine it’s daddy’s cock. M’gonna fuck you so good when I get back home.”

Cumming on his hand and exposed stomach and groaning your name under his breath. He had sent it not too long ago, giving only a quick warning before ignoring his phone for the rest of his workout. But your mom wouldn’t be home for the next few days, so all rules quickly go out the window for him when that’s the case.

“Oh, that weird feeling, hm?” It’s mean, he knows it too. Making you feel guilty for something he set you up for entirely, but alas, rules are rules. His cock already hard again now, twitching against his thigh as he bends down to take a seat on the edge of the bed and takes one of your pointed nipples into his mouth, groaning when you cry so pretty at his warm mouth. The wetness and his tongue rubbing over your sensitive nipple as one hand pinches and rolls the other is enough to have you closing your eyes, gently letting your hands find the collar of his shirt and holding it. Always so fucking precious.

His other hand moves in between your legs, tracing two fingers over the slit and grunting at the warm slick collecting on his fingers so easily. “You’ve been playing with yourself, baby girl, don’t lie.” Obviously, but it’s more fun making you say it, watching you look so embarrassed and guilty you’d do anything to make up. “It’s so wet down here. Tell daddy what you did.” At the order, you pull your bottom lip into your mouth, eyes widening a little as just one finger flicks up to your puffy clit, rubbing the underside of it over and over with swift taps that have your hips bucking. “This?”

“I— I,” you try, looking away from those green eyes to glance at your wall instead, hiding your guilty expression away into another pillow as you pout. “I know -hm, ah- y-you said no touching but I couldn’t focus on anything else, daddy.” Your body curves so easily into his touch when he slides his fingers back along your pussy to prod at the gushing hole with a hum.

“I’ve been watching your video for the past hour. Please don’t be mad.” You tremble when he instantly slides two fingers into your little cunt, thumb resting on your clit and rubbing it that way. It’s not too much yet, but with how long you’ve probably been trying on your own, he knows it won’t take much.

“You know only daddy’s allowed to touch between your legs though.” He curls his fingers into your walls until you cry out at the press of his fingers right into that one spongy spot, watching your expression flip between guilt and pleasure.

“M’sorry, daddy. I’m sorry. Couldn’t help it.” More tears and more embarrassment come when he chuckles at that, and you whine as you cling tighter to his collar.

“Such a bad girl, waiting with your pussy wet and empty for your daddy to come home on your bed next to your stuffies. Always turn into a nasty slut when you get to see some cock, hm?” He sighs, then pulls out his hand to make quick work of his pants. He shoves his boxers down along with it, watching you as you open your mouth to peek out a little, pink tongue at it, automatically opening your legs further at the simple sight of that fat cock glistening with precum for you. “What is it you want, baby?” he grabs onto the base of his cock, slapping it against your pussy with wet paps. “Ask for it.”

You moan, urging him closer when he gets situated in between your legs better, and shake your head side to side to get rid of your tears. “Wan’daddy to f-fuck me, wan—na cum,” you cry though, and as he climbs on top of you you’re quick to hide your face into the crook of his neck with a sob. “Please, daddy, hurts without you. Please make it feel good. Please, please, please, I’ll be good.”

“All this effort to get off and you couldn’t even cum on your own?” He places the tip of his cock between your legs, before grabbing onto your hips and angling them up. “Couldn’t -hng, had to have daddy’s fat cock in here?” He slowly pushes into your tiny slit, watching you struggle to take all of him sliding inside.

“Yes, yesyesyesyesyes. So- s-ohh, hng, big,” you babble against his skin, trying to wiggle your hips down on him faster, get filled faster. ‘Daddy, daddy,’ you breathe every few seconds.

“Slow down, greedy slut.” You’re clearly already out of it with how glazed your eyes are when you look at him. Hajime grunts at the sight, reaching one hand up to grab at your hair and hold you in place that way. Your hands on his shoulders go softer when you clench around him, tiny cunny stretching to take daddy’s fat cock inside entirely and throwing your head back with a whimper when he pushes in the last stretch at once.

All your little cries swallowed by his kiss, pushing his tongue into your mouth to keep you quiet. When you cling so tight to him like you want to keep him inside forever, he grins, pressing his lips to the shell of your ear. “You can take it so much better than mom, right?”

“Yes, yes, please, I love daddy more, hmhng- o-only me.” Your eyes roll back when he pulls his hips back to slam in again, hips hitting yours and walls battered so well by the thick cock making it’s way into you, held in place like a little whore. “Wanna have daddy’s cock all to myself,” you cry, wrapping your trembling thighs around his legs to keep him close, breaths growing shallow. You’re so close. “Please, ah, ah, daddy.”

“It’s all yours, baby. Daddy’s cock belongs to this little cunt creaming around it. Now let me help you out, yeah?” And when his hand slides right back between your legs to circle your clit, it’s only a few well aimed thrusts before you’re coming all around him.

[aiyakuma]

Chappie Drei (Pathfinder X Reader)

(Chapter three of Finding the Path to Your Heart on Wattpad, a SFW robot X human fanfiction) )

I never did run into him again that match.

Our squad made it to ninth place before ultimately falling to Bloodhound and their team. I managed to get two more kills, and while Bangalore and Wraith each got three times that amount, it still felt good to have contributed. Now I was once more back in the dropship, awaiting the final results of the battle alongside all the other fallen fighters. Their whoops and hollers during the fight between the final five squads was deafening, so much so that I half-considered jumping off the ship again just to escape it. I never did understand all the excitement surrounding Apex matches, and experiencing one for myself hardly changed that opinion… Though, I will admit, it wasn’t so bad watching Pathfinder play. The little quirks he had made him fun to watch, from high-fiving fallen enemies to bubbling over every zipline he got a chance to ride. But ultimately he too fell to Bloodhound, making the mystery-in-a-mask and their squad the Champions.

It was only a matter of time before those last two squads joined us on the ship. Everyone was buzzing about the winning squad, while I was more looking forward to seeking out Pathfinder and thanking him again for what he did. Out of nowhere a hand landed on my shoulder, making me jump out my skin.

“Oh, it’s just you, Bangalore. You scared me…”

“Sorry, sorry, kid,” she waved apologetically. “I just wanted to apologize for giving you such a hard time earlier. You did alright for it being your first match,” she offered a warm smile.

“It’s okay, I don’t blame you. I still have a lot to learn.”

“You’ll get the hang of it in no time. Shoot Turret, and I could have sworn you almost went down right at the beginning. Good thing you aren’t that bad at fighting though, right?” She gave a rough but friendly slap upside my back. “Haha, yeeeaaah…” I laughed nervously, trying to avert my eyes from her before my more foolish side revealed the truth. I didn’t have to pretend to be distracted for long though, as just then the top two squads emerged into the room, including Pathfinder.

Everyone instantly swarmed around them, gushing about the epic battle they’d just fought. For a moment I gave up on talking to Pathfinder, seeing as how occupied he was with everyone else. But that wasn’t so. Pathfinder raised a hand to high-five the crowd as they came, only for everybody to rush past him and high-five his teammates instead. Ouch! The only thing worse than getting left hanging was seeing someone else get left hanging. How could they ignore him like that? Even Bangalore and Wraith had no problem sliding past him to congratulate the others. But he got second place! He deserves to be celebrated just as much as his teammates! Yet as infuriating as it was to witness, Pathfinder didn’t seem to mind. With a big, yellow smile displayed brightly on his chest, he lowered his hand and went about his own way to go fidget by the window. It didn’t sit well with me at all.

“Pathfinder!” I called out, charging towards him with an outstretched hand. “Highfive me right now!” He almost didn’t turn around in time, just barely meeting my hand with a startled slap that broke air (and possibly a few bones) upon contact. “El Turret! I’m sorry, you caught me off guard. Did I hit you too hard?”

I fought back a tear as I gazed down at my quivering red palm. “No, not at all. I’m fine.” Shaking my head, I clasped my hands behind my back and turned to face him. “Nice job getting second place. You fought really well,” that’s what he’d want to hear someone tell him, right? “Right?! That was a fun match. Too bad we both lost to Bloodhound, they’re a tough person to beat!” His smiley face momentarily became slanted to match his bummed out expression.

“You think so too? Well, my first match wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, thanks to you,” I offered a smile.

“That’s what friends are for!” Friends, huh? He slapped me on the shoulder and gave a thumbs up. Only, I didn’t jump when his hand landed on me like I did with Bangalore, probably because I saw him coming. What I didn’t see coming was a man appearing between me and Pathfinder and throwing his arms around our backs. It was the same magician guy I killed last match. “You guys, we should go to the bar to celebrate another match well done and the newest Legend to the roster, yeah?!” He proposed the room.

“Shut up, Mirage. Match well done my ass, you were the first fucking guy to die,” a big, mad scientist looking man huffed.

“Compliments to this lady right here, uh, whatever her name is,” Mirage pointed at me. “Come on you guys, first round’s on me!” The entire room cheered, and soon me and Pathfinder found ourselves being swept off our feet by the crowd of alcohol-craving fiends. The bar we ended up at was fairly standard and lively. I sat right in the middle of it all, pushed and pulled around by people who danced and swayed like grass under a landing airship. Drops of who-knows-what spilled from the rims of swaying drinks and rained down on me every now and then. It was pretty stuffy in here to begin with, and now I was beginning to reek of alcohol too, despite not having drank any. What am I doing here? According to Mirage, half of this drinking party was held in my honor, but it didn’t really feel that way. I couldn’t raise my voice enough to talk to anyone, and everyone else was already so invested in their own bubbling conversations I didn’t want to interrupt them anyways. No, I should stop wasting my time here and just go home already. I don’t think anybody would notice if I slipped out now...

But as I got up to do so, I noticed Pathfinder in the same awkward position that I was in, not being able to keep up with anyone else as they drank away either. The same guilty feeling I had from earlier swelled up, and before I knew it I was making my way over to him and taking a seat besides the robot. “Hey, Pathfinder. You aren’t gonna drink either?” I asked, not realizing my own stupidity until the words were already out my mouth.

“I would if I had a digestive system! How about you, how come you aren’t mingling with everyone else?”

“I guess I’m just feeling a little uncomfortable right now. Still getting used to everybody, y’know?”

“You’ll fit in before you know it. I’m still trying to fit in myself. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t a robot, so I could drink and party just like everyone else,” he leaned his head on his hand.

“I think it’s really cool that you’re a robot!” I blurted out. “I mean, I think robots and machines and stuff like that is cool. I like them, anyways,” I scratched the back of my neck nervously. Why did I have to out and say something so weird to exactly the kind of person I shouldn’t say that too?!

“You think so? Heh, thanks!” He beamed. “It’s nice to hear someone say that for a change. I bet my master is going to say the same thing when I meet him.”

“Your master? As in who built you?”

“Yup! The whole reason I’ve participated in Apex in the first place is to put myself out there so I can find him. I know he’s out there somewhere, probably trying to find me, too.”

“I see. I hope you two reunite with eachother soon. You know, I’ve met a lot of people that build machines for a living! If it’s any help, maybe I can ask arou-”

“Woah, hold the phone! You haven’t gotten anything to drink yet, have you? Try this, I call it ‘Mirage’s Mirage-Inducing World Famous Special Juice, Working Title™.’ You’ll love it!” A tall shot glass of neon-orange juice was laid out in front of me by his truly.

“That looks radioactive,” Pathfinder said.

“Um, I’m sorry, I don’t really drink,” I waved my hands apologetically.

“C’mon, just this small shot. Try it, I made it myself!” He looked so excited for me to try it, I couldn’t say no. I’m a sucker for homemade goods. Plus, it looked like it was mostly juice. How bad could it be?

“Fine, I’ll try it. Oh, you don’t mind, do you Pathfinder?” I didn’t want to go drinking right after he’d been talking about how much he wished he could too. But he waved me okay, so without further ado I downed the entire glass at once. Instant regret swelled up from within me in the form of a harsh fire that burned through my mouth and nose tubes and tapered off at my ears. I clenched my face and pounded my fist on the table to cope with the intense effects. “What was in that, antifreeze?!" 

“110% alcohol content, baby!” he finger gunned me. “A little bit of hot sauce too, just to spice things up. Tasty, right?” He was so enthusiastic, I couldn’t tell if he deliberately made it that awful just to mess with me or if he was really that bad at brewing. Either way, I was grateful when Mirage offered a normal juice pouch as a chaser. “You aren’t missing much, Pathfinder. Alcohol is the worst, don’t ever drink it if you get the chance!” I sobbed in between sips.

‘Ouch. That bad, huh? Maybe I did put a little bit too much mustard extract in there…” 

“Uhm- Why don’t we go outside and get you some fresh oxygen? You look like you need some,” Pathfinder suggested. He didn’t wait for an answer before dragging me away from the counter and leading me outside with a hand on my back for stability...

[zayray030]

Misunderstandings are Disastrous.

Summary: Oliver is a good person. He really is. So he doesn't understand why he's comforting a drunk Iris who thinks her husband's cheating on her. He's gonna kill Barry. OR Barry and the others have been acting really wierd for a month and Iris rightfully jumps to conclusions.

How did Oliver ever get put into these situations. He was a good man. Sure me might have killed a few people and cheated on a couple of people, but at the end of the day he tried his hardest to be a good person.

Do that's why he was extremely confused on why he was consulting an extremely drunk Iris about her place in Barry's life.

“I'm sure he loves you Iris. Why would you think otherwise?” Oliver asked, trying to get to the source of the problem. He's sure by the time Iris has finished he would be able to dig up at least 50 different times where Barry gushed about Iris, at least.

“Well it started a month ago…”

~A month ago~

“Hey babe!” Iris greeted happily when she saw Baeey in the kitchen. She had just come back from C.C Citizen and she really wanted to see her husband again.

“Oh, hey Iris. What are you doing here?” asked Barry distractedly, not looking up from his phone. Iris frowned slightly at his tone before smiling again and soldering on.

“Well I just got back from jitters after writing a really long article on the newest crime sprees that the Flash had stopped and I really wanted to come cuddle with my husband!” she said excitedly but Barry still hadn't looked up from his screen. “Barry?”

“Oh, um yeah, that's nice. Listen Iris, I have to go somewhere. I'll see you tonight.” said Barry before getting up and walking out. He hadn't even given her a kiss goodbye.

Iris just shook her head, thinking it was nothing and maybe he was recovering from another meta attack. Oh well, they'll cuddle tonight.

~A week after that incident~

“Hello, this is Barry. Please leave a message.” came Barry's voice from the phone. Iris sighed again and let her phone drop on the counter of Jitters. Iris had been acting weird all week and he had been ignoring all her calls and Iris was starting to get worried. Was he being mind controlled?

Suddenly, Iris heard the sound of the door opening and when she turned around she saw a very beautiful woman walking in and she couldn't believe who was behind her. Barry.

Iris felt something stir up in her chest but she pushed it down. Now was not the time to tune in with her emotions. She quickly looked around the room and saw a hidden spot where they wouldn't be able to see her but she would be able to and sat there.

Iris felt her heart crack the more she sat there and watched Barry talk to the beautiful woman and laugh with her. Insecurity shot up in her and so did jealousy but she squashed them down. Barry would never cheat on her. He was too loving for that. But Iris couldn't help but think of those times where Barry seemed almost bored with her and she felt her eyes stinging with unshed tears. She rubbed at her eyes quickly. No! She would not jump to conclusions about her loyal husband!

But Iris couldn't help but feel her heart crack even more when she saw Barry give the woman a hug longer than strictly necessary and saw the woman kiss his cheek. Iris held back a sob until Barry walked out with a woman and only then did she bring her hands to her face and sob.

~A week after that~

“Sorry Iris, but today is meta day.” said Cisco sadly as he and everyone else got ready to go out in town.

“Find a really cute girl that Barry told us about,” said Ralph. Frost slapped him over the head. Or maybe it was Caitlin. Who knows?

“Oh?” Iris said quietly, taking a step back from everyone hurt and betrayal rippling through her.

“What this dumbass means is that we're just going to pick some clothes that we can wear without our powers getting in the way and Barry met this really nice woman who can make clothes like nobody's business.” said Frost, with her usual cold tone but it was surprisingly gentle when directed at Iris.

“Yeah, what the ice lady said. Plus, I really want to buy some more jackets.” added Allegra.

“Okay, that's cool. Um, have a nice day.” said Iris awkwardly as everyone walked out to the elevator. While Iris was walking away she heard something that caught her ears so she stayed back slightly.

“Christ that was close.” muttered Cisco.

“Next time don't be so obvious. Barry doesn't want Iris to know and I agree. She deserves it.” snapped Frost.

“Yeah! Don't ruin it. He doesn't want her to know until the last minute possible and we're going to respect that.” agreed Allegra and Iris could imagine the small glare she must have on.

“I'm sorry but I feel weird when I lie to Iris.it doesn't feel natural.” argued Ralph.

“Well Joe, Wally, Cecile, Jackie and Kamilla are willing to do it so pull one for the team, Ralph!” said Cisco as the elevator doors closed.

Iris felt her heart crack again at knowing the fact that her own family and friends were willing to sit back and watch her husband go behind her back. Iris knew she shouldn't be jumping to conclusions but it was getting harder and harder to be able to deny the fact that her husband might be cheating on her.

After all, the evidence and the strange interactions have been proof enough that maybe, just maybe, that Barry is cheating on her and the others are supporting this. Iris quickly ran to the canteen and flopped down on one of the couches and sobbed her heart out at this new revelation.

~Currently~

“... and other odd things have been happening across star labs and whenever I hang out with the others they're just so secretive and they keep sending me these looks and - and-” and Iris could no longer keep her tears in and sobbed out.

Oliver quickly put an arm around and tried to soothe her like he would soothe Thea when she got scared, nervous or upset and let her cry on his shoulder.

“It's going to be okay, Iris.” he said softly while also vowing to kill Barry for his stupidity. “I'm going to need you to take this drink for me. It'll make you sober but won't give you a hangover.” he said gently as he took out a small vial full of red liquid.

Iris nodded slightly, still sniffling slightly and drowned the drink in one go. Oliver looked into her eyes and saw her pupils go back to their normal color and huffed out a breath of relief.

“Hey, you better now?” he asked gently.

“No.” she answered and Oliver could understand that. He just wished that Barry could think twice before he did something dumb like this again. It's as if anything Oliver taught him went through one ear and out the other.

“Understandable. Come on let's go.”he said gently before calling over a waiter to pay the check. Iris didn't protest like she usually would and just stood up and shivered slightly, her shirt dress and heels doing nothing to keep her warm. Oliver shrugged off his jacket and placed it around her shoulder.

“Can we go to star labs first? I left my laptop there by accident.” she said. Oliver nodded secretly elated that he was finally going to where he wanted Iris to be in the first place.

After Oliver had paid for all of Iris's drinks they quickly got into his limo and drove off. For the most part of it Iris was quite apart from the occasional hiccup and Oliver just kept bouncing his legs, nervous. With how bad the others had been he was sure it was going to be a complete disaster.

When they got to star labs Iris briskly walked in, wanting to get out of there as quick as possible and went straight to the Canteen

It was completely dark when they walked in and Oliver held his breath as Iris switched the light on.

“SURPRISE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY IRIS!!!!” Everyone screamed the moment the light was turned on. Iris jumped back, fear in her eyes, but it quickly disappeared as she saw the scene.

There was a huge banner that said ‘Happy birthday to Iris Ann West Allen’ in big, bright, bold colours and there were steamers all around along with cakes and candy all on plates. The normally pristine area was filled with so much decoration and there was a mounting of presents on a table at the corner of the room. Drinks were placed everywhere and all her friends where crowded around the front.

“Do you know how long I've waited?” asked Cisco as he sighed a sigh of relief. Oliver just shook his head thinking over and over that this was a bad idea.

“Iris?” Barry asked when he noticed his wife had gone silent. Everyone had turned to the small woman and they could see tears collecting in her eyes.

“So you aren't cheating on me?” she asked quietly. Everyone paused in their laughter and turned to stare at her. Why did she think that?

“What? Of course not, Iris! Why would you think that?” asked Barry speeding over to his wife and tilting her chin upwards. Oliver shook his head again and groaned quietly in his hands.

“You kept on ignoring me and when you did talk to me you sounded so cold and dismissive and you guys kept avoiding me and I saw you hang out with a pretty women and ignore my calls and I saw her kiss your cheeks and i-” Iris lost the battle with her tears and started sobbing in her husbands chest.

Over Barry's shoulder, Oliver could see everyone's guilty and ashamed faces.

“Iris, baby, I so desperately wanted to tell you about this but they wouldn't let me talk to you. They even had to lock me over on Cynthia's earth just to keep me quiet. I so desperately wanted to call you and give you all the attention you deserve but they took my phone away and knocked me out.” said Barry to his wife, soothing her doubts away. Well, most of her doubts anyway. It'll take more than a few words.

“Oh.” she said quietly, but tears were still streaming down her face.

“We're so sorry Iris. But if Barry was cheating on you, which he isn't, I would never stand by him. I would tell you straight away and post every ugly picture I have of him in the Citizen.” said Kamilla, coming to her sister figure and giving her a hug.

“And plus, I would burn his face off.” added Allegra, joining into the hug.

Slowly everyone began giving Iris apologies and telling her one hundred percent that if Barry tried anything with her they would without a doubt, one hundred percent, end his existence.

By the end of it the only person not in the hug was Oliver but Iris fixed that soon enough by pulling out a blind arm and waving it around signalling him to come over and dragging him over.

“Now come on, birthday day girl! It's time for you to party and dance the night away!” cheered Sara pulling Iris to the dance floor and Iris let out a small giggle and soon mostly everyone was on the dance floor.

“How the fuck do I make this up to her?” Barry quietly asked Oliver, Kara and Kata

“It's going to take time. A few words can't change what she's thought about for a month. Therapy is a good idea and reminding her you love her every time you talk to her. And also, when throwing her a surprise party, don't you dare ignore her.” said Oliver. He had recently begun to see Iris as a sister and he wasn't going to stand around and see her upset.

“I mean I got her tickets to go to the best spa in America so I think it's best to think that maybe she needs a good day to relax with friends.” said Kate, as if she was challenging Oliver. Oliver just scoffed and smirked.

“Well I got her a free day to whatever thing she what's from the Queen beauty spa.” countered Oliver and before those two could get into a fight Kara stepped in between them.

“Oh, no, no, no. This day is Iris's special day and none of us is going to ruin it. We already ruined her month by making her think that Barry was going to cheat on her. So Barry, a way Iris could forgive you is if you put your speed to use.” said Kara not realising the double meaning to it until Oliver and Kate cracked up. “Oh, shut it.” she snapped.

“Anyway, what Kara said. You're practically a human vibrator. Put that to use for her birthday gift and make sure she stays happy. After that we're all going to grovel at her feet like dogs for ruining her mental state.” Kara finally got out after she'd finished laughing.

“Couples dance!” yelled Cisco dragging Kamilla to the dance floor. Barry sped over to his wife and danced with her. Everyone's eyes were kept on the couple and they felt their eyes glisten. Those two have gone through so much, they deserved this little money between them.

The night was spent partying and dancing with Iris opening up presents and everyone apologising. The ones who couldn't get drunk kept an eye out for everyone. By the time the night was over Iris had happy tears in her eyes and most of her worries had subsided. Her feet ached and all she wanted was a night with her husband.

“Come on, let's go. Let me give you your present.” he whispered into her ear and she could see Kara blush bright red from where she was talking to Oliver and Kate.

“Yay.” she said quietly and he quickly picked her up bridal style and ran out with her. Iris faintly heard everyone calling them goodbye and she relaxed into her husband's chest.

He opened up their dorr and gently ran then to their bedroom and gently placed her on the bed.

“Let me show you just how much I love you, baby.” he whispered into her ear and Iris just nodded before gasping softly.

Maybe an entire month of worrying whether your husband was going to cheat on you wasn't good but Iris couldn't deny the after effect was very nice.

At least that's what she told herself when she woke up to her naked body sore all over and her husband's smug smirk.

[dear--charlie]

Dear Charlie,

Date: Wednesday, August 14, 2019 Time: 11:56 pm

I’m curious. Does anyone look forward to reading my letters? -calls out- “Anyone?” -dead silence emits so deafening, I stop talking-

So.. I was reading letters I have sent you. And, shit. The people who take the time to read these letters must think I am selfish.

All I talk about are men, my attraction to men, my desire to have a girlfriend, or whatever.

Which, if y'all know me, you KNOW, I’m going to get back to it.

But for a short bit, let’s talk about things that aren’t guys or girls.

Here are a number of facts about me you, Charlie, and other people reading this may not know about…

I’m very unsatisfied with my weight. I weigh about 195 pounds, and am working to drop to 120 pounds. I don’t feel attractive in my skin. I can’t see my vag anymore.

I haven’t orgasmed ever. I am 24 fucking years old. Why the fuck haven’t I cum yet? God..

Happier topics, Mare. Okay. There is this app I use called SLOWLY, where you create a username, and bio about yourself. You can start sending letters to people across the world. I’ve had letters coming in from China, India especially, the U.K., Australia, Taiwan, Russia, Portugal, tip of Africa. So many letters. And, you do get standard. ‘Yo baby. Send me nudes.’ This one guy got clever and asked me for nudes in Morse Code. I kindly sent him back to go fuck himself. The only person who gets to see my beautiful breasts is me, and the barren vag, cause I swear to myself, I never ever see Nic. (<– Sorry. No talk of guys for the next few paragraphs). The issue is.. like, there is an option where you can send three letters at a time. With an intro letter. One night, I thought it would he fun (WORST. MISTAKE. EVER.) to send 15 letters. (Keep in mind about 4 of the many letters I have sent, do I keep up a regular correspondence with. So, add 15 potential regular friends, and you have a recipe for disaster). Omgosh, Charlie + readers: I never have time to respond to these letters. Damnit, me. Why the fuck did you do that?

Okay. I started a new job. Yeah. You heard right. The ever so fucking afflicted depressed, intoroverted, frustrated, book crazy, bisexual who cant hold down a job, found a new one. Through a temp agency. I work with ______ _____ ____, at _____ _____, which is just 10 minutes from my house. The job is way better than the piece of shit I put up with for 6 mths. I love the different calls we get. But the mother fucking training at this call centre was mother flipping shit. There are so many 'processes’ you have to remember when helping a 'guest’ with a request that I want to cry. (I hope I keep at the job). Please fucking pray for me.

Did you know I didn’t always used to curse the way I do? Throughout high school, I would only curse when I would get hurt (like for example that time an anvil crushed my toe. Lol. This totally didnt happen. Though, this one time. I cut myself on this chunk of thick glass from a broken lamp at 12 urs old, that I was taking to the dumpster. It sliced my thigh, blood was gushing out I imagine. I started screaming. My mom, uncle, and cousin freaked the fuck out. I obviously lived to tell the tale. Y'all should see the scar.) And then I was influenced by boys (since I only hung out with guys through the last two years of high school) to curse. And now, I can’t seem to stop.

I make weird posts on Whisper. My username is ______ For anyone who wants to chat with me about my crazy life, follow me on ____ at @_______. Lol. (I hope y'all know when I include the blanks I’m being funny).

What other facts to share.. I made a friend on Slowly, but work really got me busy, plus I am always freaking tired. I didn’t respond for nine days with a letter, and I noticed she deactivated her account. It really hurt. Her name was Becca. She was trans, but didn’t tell her crazy conservative family. 19, super sweet. Liked video games and Eminem for a bit. I seriously miss her.

Other facts.. Did I mention (no, of course you didn’t mention Mare. All you ever talk about are failed relationships, current relationships, or almost relationships), I’m looking to learn Italian AND Spanish? Of course! Why the hell wouldn’t I try to influence my American self with my Mexican self? (Totally Hispanic in case y'all cohldn’t guess. My mom says I speak Spanish like a white girl. Well, shit… Time to go to Mexico and get ridiculed for being too white and not knowing Spanish or customs) Joking aside, I’m looking forward to teaching myself Spanish and Italian. (Don’t tell the family, but I prefer Italy over Mexico).

Y'all ready to get to the real reason why y'all stick through my letters?

Nic doesn’t want me to explore my bi side. Ken hasn’t been on Skype for a month. I miss him.. (Great, conflicted Mary is back again). Did I mention that today is my 3rd year anniversary with the Nicholas? Totally is. What did we do to celebrate? I woke up at 5 in the morning, waited for him to show up at 6, and ate tacos in my apartment parking lot. Then, I went to work, and he went home to sleep. We are going to Bastrop for the weekend which is just 20 minutes from my grandparents. Maybe I should go visit. (Why the hell don’t I call my family? Am I really that fucking self absorbed? Family trumps dudes any fucking day..) and I hope the trip is nice. I just texted him like 45 min ago of us drifting apart. Because… he will talk about things that seriously, Charlie, I could give two fucks about, then we will talk about ice cream, for example, and he goes off on a tangent about something little do with ice cream. Sometimes, I feel like I guilty stay with him because I do fucking love him, but I could be holding myself back from experiencing new things.

I want to write more. Bare with me for a moment, Charlie. Okay, I’m back. (That was a second break, in real time in case y'all were wondering)

My thoughts aren’t flowing as well. I wish I knew a friend who was bi or a lesbian who would like to explore with me. And not have it change things.

So, I have a shit sleep schedule. I’ll come home at 5 ish in the evening. I’ll sit in traffic for twenty min. Come home. Eat something. Fall asleep by 7. Wake up at 10, and stay awak indefinitely. Then wake up at 6, and start over. (What is wrong with me?)

Oh. More breaks from relationship shit. I saw a therapist. Three visits. It was nice. His name is Tim. (Had to stop because I literally have no fucking time to see a dr anymore psychologist or medical, because my schedule is a fucking bitch). He graduated from Harvard! That is awesome. His attire was well groomed, always. I never told him he intimidated me because of that. But he was a nice guy. Time to go to psychologytoday.com to look for weekend available therapists who take my insurance. I hope if I am to become a psychologist, that I’m a tiny better than Tim. He was lovely, I was just unnerved by someone focusing such time on me. But, that is kind of what he is paid for? So….

Oh. Have I mentioned at all to you, Charlie about how I want to start a YouTube channel? I want to read stories I find on the internet. Annnd, I’m pretty excited. I get my mic maybe with next weeks paycheck.

I feel like there is more to add. For anyone you may have lost touch with over the years, Charlie, does the thought of that person and the memories you shared together ever make you cry? I found a CD an old friend left to me for my birthday. And it broke my heart that we aren’t close anymore. I feel like I .. let my true relationships go in my worst state of mind.. And, I miss her so much. It really really hurts. I’m crying just thinking about it.

Also, I’m not sure if I mentioned, there are rare cases where I will laugh so hard at something I found to be funny, that I make others worried or uncomfortable. But the laughter turns to sobbing (sobbing such as my mom dying, or my brother getting hit by a car, or someone killing me) just as severe. I tried asking like crazy, and no one seems to know. That is, until a month ago, a friend from the meetings I go to (please tell me I’m not so vapid that I forgot to tell you I go to Monday meetings with DBSA for my depression) showed me what I have.. which I forgot the name of. But it is a treatable condition. Something to do with sensitivity.

I can’t hear well out of my right ear. I need to see a doctor.

Thanks to those who stayed with me this far.

I hope to have more news on my relationship status.

I seriously have like two friends on Tumblr. Why do I use this app again?

I love you, Charlie

Always,

Mary

[artificialqueens]

Undone, Chapter 17 (Bitney) - Stephanie/Veronica

A/N: Welcome to Chapter 17 of UNDONE, our slow burn Bitney lesbian AU. Here’s a link to the previous chapters.

Summary: After the burn comes the ashes. (AKA I’m so sorry...)

Thank you so much to the best and most patient betas! @jillybean2314 @sheofthethrone @kitschypixel @theartificialdane

TW: This story deals with themes of emotional abuse, and since that can be subtle, we’re going to keep a general TW on all of the chapters, even when it seems like it doesn’t apply.

***

Courtney’s not sure what she expects on Monday morning, but the sight of Bianca sitting calmly at her sewing machine in the wardrobe trailer is not it.

“Oh. Hey,” she says softly, letting the door fall shut behind her.

“Hey.” Bianca doesn’t look up.

“You’re here...”

Bianca sighs tiredly. “Yeah, where else would I be?”

Courtney swallows. She’d been torturing herself for the last 24 hours, trying to figure out what went wrong, where she’d fucked up. They were drinking all day; maybe Bianca was less with it than she’d appeared? The thought of her feeling used, or taken advantage of, or...worse. Courtney can barely breathe, but she tries valiantly to keep things light.

“Well, I dunno, I thought maybe you skipped town,” Courtney forces out a gentle chuckle. “I mean, I woke up, and you were-”

“Can we please not talk about this here?” Bianca snaps.

Courtney closes her mouth. “Sorry.”

Bianca nods, tossing her a dress from the rack. “Here.”

“Don’t you need to-”

“It’s already been altered. Jamie can take your picture.” Bianca goes back to the sewing machine, and Courtney backs away, her only thought a frantic concern about how to fix this, how to get back to what they were before.

***

Courtney spends all night tossing and turning, wracked with guilt and shame, mind racing. She finally manages to fall asleep as the sun is coming up, and it’s almost noon when Adore flings open Courtney’s bedroom door, hopping up onto her bed.

“Hey bitch! Thanks for letting me crash. We missed you at Roosterfish last night.”

“Mmm…”

“You’re being lazy today; you never sleep in.”

Courtney groans, covering her face with a pillow. “I know, I missed SoulCycle. Don’t remind me.”

“Ha! You fat fuck.” Adore climbs under the covers, wrapping her arms around Courtney’s waist. “What’s your call time?”

“Five,” Courtney yawns.

“Mine’s three. Wanna drive together? You’ll be way early but you can just go to wardrobe and flirt with your girlfriend.”

Courtney casts her eyes upwards at the ceiling, where her fan rotates slowly. “Umm...I don’t know if that’s such a great idea…”

“Why not?”

“Well...I may have done something...sort of stupid…”

Adore’s eyes glitter mischievously, thirsty for gossip. “What did you do?”

“So...you know how Bianca invited me to that party on Saturday?”

“Yeah?”

“Well...I may have had kind of a lot to drink. And…”

“Spill it, whore.”

“I went home with them.” Courtney bites her lip.

“Home with…‘them’? Like…” It takes Adore a minute to catch on to what Courtney is telling her, but when she does, her eyes go wide and her mouth drops open in shock and delight. “You WHAT?!”

“Yeah…” Courtney looks up at Adore with a sheepish expression, not wanting to elaborate too much.

“Wait a second…” Adore shakes her head. “What…actually happened? You’re gonna have to spell it out for me because I’m a little bit...in shock.”

“Ummm...well…”

Adore grasps her by the arm. “Did you have sex with her?”

Courtney nods.

“Like actual sex? Ate her pussy, made her come...”

“Yes, Adore, but-”

“Did she reciprocate?!”

“Yeah,” Courtney says softly, hugging her pillow.

“...And? Omigod, this is fucking amazing. I cannot believe you’ve been holding out on telling me! Fuck. How was it?”

“I...what can I say, Adore? She’s...she’s perfect, and amazing, and even better than I ever imagined, and...have you ever just wanted to be near someone, all the time? Because...you simply need to breathe the same oxygen as them?”

Adore furrows her brow. “No.”

“Yeah, me neither, until now. I don’t know what to do. And now I think I fucked it all up. I think she hates me.” Courtney bites her lip, eyes glazing over with tears.

“No one could hate you. It’s one of your most annoying qualities.”

Courtney covers her face with her hands, curling up against Adore’s body, leaning a head on her shoulder. “She won’t even look at me. And I keep thinking, like...what did I do wrong? It seemed like she wanted to...but now, I don’t know, I’m...” Courtney choked back a sob. “I just wish she’d talk to me.”

Adore bites her lip, feeling a little guilty. She’d been so excited to learn all the lascivious details that she hadn’t picked up on Courtney’s very obvious misery. She put a hand on her shoulder, trying to strike a softer tone.

“She’s probably just confused. You know?”

“Right,” Courtney says, voice muffled.

After a moment, Adore clears her throat and asks, “So...what about the husband? What was he doing? Was he just like...watching?”

“No. He was very much...involved.” Courtney sniffles.

Adore grimaces. “So...I mean did he...um…”

Courtney lifts her head, eyes red and watery. “I hate him, Adore. He’s like, awful.”

“You hate the husband of the woman you’re in love with? That’s shocking,” Adore teases gently, brushing some hair off Courtney’s forehead.

Courtney scrunches up her face and hits her friend with a pillow.

“You don’t understand, he’s the worst. He doesn’t deserve her. I...why is she with him?” Courtney looks away.

“Did you, um...do anything with him?” Adore asks.

“Yeah. Yeah, I had to. Because I knew, that it was the only way. And I would suffer through him a thousand times if it meant I could be with her once.” Courtney’s breath hitches, and Adore reaches for her, swallowing down her own uneasiness about the situation.

“Baby...come here…”

Courtney allows Adore to pull her into an embrace, fights the embarrassment and shame that she really should have known better.

“Thanks,” is all she can manage to say.

“Anytime.”

***

It’s Thursday, after another three days of Bianca icing her out, before Courtney gathers up the nerve to confront her. She waits until the initial rush is over, until Jamie and their new PA are both away on runs, before entering the trailer.

In keeping with her behavior all week, Bianca barely looks up.

“Can we please just talk about this?” Courtney asks, tired already, before the conversation has even started.

“Talk about what?” Bianca asks dismissively, threading a needle.

Courtney’s done with the games. The bullshit. She’s done.

“We had sex.”

Bianca narrows her blue eyes. “A little louder, don’t think they heard you in the Production Office.”

“Bianca, we need-”

“No. I’m sorry, but this is not something I want to talk about, and I told you that, and now you’re-”

“But I-”

“End of discussion,” she said firmly.

Courtney swallows. “I just, please...one thing.” Her green eyes are full of tears.

Bianca steels herself. “Fine. What?”

“I c-care about you. I don’t want to lose our friendship-”

“Well maybe you should have thought about that before you fucked my husband!”

Courtney stares at her for a second, blinking, color draining from her face, fingers going numb. This isn’t what she’s prepared for, but now, suddenly, she feels like a complete moron.

“That...is a fair point,” she says softly. It’s all she can think to say.

Bianca looks down. It’s not a fair point, and she knows it. But how is she supposed to explain, the way her heart shattered, seeing Jared touch her? How her escape, the one bright spot in her life, the one place she was safe from him, is now destroyed? And she knows that it’s Jared’s fault - that he did it intentionally and maliciously. She knows that, even if she was too fucked up to realize it until too late.

What happened between her and Courtney - her body pulsing with desire from her soft, gentle touch, the sparks that overtook her every time they kissed, the gush of wetness between her thighs the first time Courtney’s hot mouth pressed against her neck, how perfectly right it felt to finally touch her, taste her...the next day, those memories were distant, dulled by pain and loss.

What she does remember, every time she closes her eyes, is the victorious look on Jared’s face as he thrusted into her. The way his hands pawed at her. And the sick grin on his face when Bianca tried to look away, how he grabbed her by the hair and forced her to watch.

And somehow, she can’t help but blame Courtney too. Because Courtney went along with it willingly. She was an accomplice to the betrayal. So Bianca stares at her with as much indifference as she can muster.

Courtney’s mind spins in 100 different directions. What else can she say, to make Bianca understand, without putting her own emotional garbage into it? Because that, she knows, now more than ever, wouldn’t be right.

“For the record, I’m not...interested in your husband. I didn’t even know that you were upset about that; if I did…” Courtney stops, takes a breath, tries another tactic. “I guess I...I thought maybe you were just feeling weird about the gay stuff. That maybe you-”

“The gay stuff?”

“Yeah, I mean...it’s...normal, to feel, I don’t know, confused. I know that my first time with a woman, I-”

“Oh my god, stop.” Bianca shakes her head. It’s clear to her, for the first time, exactly how she’s going to really twist the knife, assuring that this little affair is over before it begins. She tells herself that it’s for Courtney’s own good. I’m poison. I’ll ruin her eventually. Better now than later. She steps closer to her, slowly says, “You think you’re my first?”

Courtney’s heart beats faster. “I thought...that…”

“What, that you were special? So irresistible that even straight women can’t keep their pants on around you?” Bianca narrows her eyes, forcing out a cruel laugh. “I’ve known I was bi since I was 13. Grow up.”

Courtney’s mouth opens, then closes. Bianca can tell from her eyes that this sucker-punch to the gut is exactly what she needed to deliver. Exactly what she needed to say to destroy any hope left between them. Courtney swallows and begins to back up.

I’m poison. Poison, Bianca repeats, convincing herself that this was a justified act of mercy. Better she knows now.

***

Initially, all Courtney feels is numb. She sits, dazed, in the holding area, waiting for her turn in the hair and makeup trailer, unable to focus her eyes or her mind.

Maybe it isn’t real. Maybe it’s just a nightmare. Her typical fantasies, out of control and twisted into something horrible.

It isn’t until later, sitting on set, that she begins to trust the reality of her own body. She can feel the hard bench against her thighs. Hear the chatter from the crew. And that’s when it all hits her. Bianca doesn’t want her. Which, in a way, she’d been prepared for. Nothing Bianca had ever said or did made Courtney think that she’d leave her husband. The part that kills her, that makes her feel like the rug has just been yanked out from under her feet, is how she seems to be so willing to toss their friendship out the window.

What, that you were special?

She did. Carelessly, stupidly, allow herself to believe that she was special. That what they had was special. That Bianca cared about her for reasons besides a quick fuck. That she wasn’t just a temporary distraction from her shitty husband. That this was different.

The truth is, Courtney could have handled romantic rejection. It would have stung, but she’d have licked her wounds and gotten over it. But she’s not sure how she’s going to cope with losing a friendship that’s become the center of her life. A friendship that she convinced herself was far deeper than any relationship she’s ever had. That she thought was based in mutual respect, in joy, in love.

She realizes, a bit shamefully, that she can’t even remember the last time she got through the day without talking to her, before this awful week.

Courtney gulps. She needs a distraction, and stat.

Adore walks towards her, about to give a typical greeting, but Courtney jumps in before she can get a word out, grasping her hand.

“Let’s go out tonight!”

Adore tilts her head. Courtney’s green eyes are bit too bright, and it immediately causes her concern.

“Are you okay?”

Courtney casts her eyes up to the ceiling for a moment of exasperation before leveling her gaze at Adore again.

“I’m fine, I want to go out. I want to dance; I want to drink. Are you in...or not?”

“Uh...yeah, sure. Always.”

Courtney smiles brilliantly, clapping her hands.

“Yay! I knew you’d come through…” Courtney kisses Adore on the cheek and swats her on the ass as she walks away.

***

“Lessss go home, babyyy…” Courtney slurs, arms around Adore’s neck. At this point, she’s fully lost count of how much alcohol she’s consumed, which is probably for the best. All she knows is that she’s anxious to lie down, but even more anxious for some human contact.

“Whatever you want, boo…” Adore, who’s gone drink for drink with her, seems less hammered, wrapping an arm securely around her waist and guiding her towards the door.

The walk home is annoyingly sobering, cool breeze from the ocean waking her up, and by the time they get inside, she’s starting to remember why she spent the night drinking like this in the first place, so she drags Adore, laughing, down the hall, pushing her quickly onto the bed.

“Take off your clothes.”

“I don’t remember this being on the formal agenda for tonight,” Adore teases, and Courtney lets out a frustrated scoff. “I mean, I’m always down, you know that...but what’s your girlfriend gonna say?”

“Shut up, and take off your clothes.”

Adore laughs and starts to remove her pants, shaking her head.

“So bossy...”

So what if she’s being aggressive and a bit messy? Rolling around on the bed with Adore fulfils something that she needs right now. To be kissed. To be touched. By someone who actually gives a shit about her.

And Courtney knows it’s wrong, she does, but with her eyes closed, the feel of those plush lips allow her to immediately descend into a vivid fantasy, a whimper escaping her as it all comes to life. Bianca’s lips against hers, Bianca’s ass filling her hands, skin smooth and warm...

Moments later, though, she’s snapped out of it by the sound of Adore’s voice.

“Easy, tiger,” Adore murmurs against her, giggling. “We’ll get there, slow your roll.”

Courtney opens her eyes, pulls her face back a little.

“Adore, I’m trying to...can you...not talk?”

Adore looks at her, realization dawning in her eyes as she lets out a dry chuckle, nodding.

“Oh, I get what we're doing here, okay..."

Courtney bites her lip, lungs filled with burning shame.

“Adore, I’m sorry, I-”

“It’s cool. It’s totally cool. Just...close your eyes, baby.”

The horrible feeling of being this raw and vulnerable is eased slightly by the need Courtney feels to play along. To let Adore indulge this little fantasy. So her eyes fall closed once again, as she lets Adore roll her onto her back.

Kisses, soft and tender, along her jaw. Hands undressing her slowly, caressing her skin. Every touch is gentle, and Courtney wants to scream. Because it’s not working, it’s not real, it’s not what she’s actually looking for.

“Stop.”

Adore lifts her head.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I…” Courtney sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Adore slides off her body.

“No, it’s not. I’m sorry for dragging you into my bullshit. I probably should have just fucked a stranger tonight,” Courtney admits.

“You wanna go back to the bar? Still a few hours before closing,” Adore suggests, and Courtney laughs, curling against her.

“You’re the best friend in the world, you know that?”

“I do.” Adore kisses the top of her head and wraps the comforter around them both.

***

No one says anything, when Bianca sits down for lunch. No one makes a comment about how unusual it is for Bianca to join her department, and the art girls, when Courtney is sitting just a few tables over.

But Bianca knows what they’re thinking. Can see the subtle, slightly raised eyebrows from her colleagues, who have by now just accepted that she only sits with them when Courtney’s not on set.

She quickly stuffs a dinner roll into her mouth, just in case anyone decides to ask a question that she’s not inclined to answer.

“Hey, Bianca,” Sarah ventures, and Bianca is quite happy that her mouth is full as she turns her head. “Jamie said that you made that silver gown Farrah was wearing yesterday.”

Bianca nods, relieved that the conversation is only about work.

“It’s absolutely stunning,” Sarah adds with a smile.

“I know, right?” Beth cuts in warmly, putting an arm around her. “I’m so proud.”

Suddenly, Bianca’s stomach clenches. Nosy questions about Courtney might even be easier to handle than this benign look on their faces. Is she imagining it? Or are they actually being patronizing?

“Thanks,” Bianca says gruffly, looking back down at her plate, wishing she were anywhere but here.

***

Courtney’s feet pound on the sand, adrenaline pumping through her veins. The more she sweats, the clearer her head becomes. She’d spent the last two days in state of shock and denial, mourning the loss of her friendship with Bianca like some kind of lovesick puppy. Now, for the first time, she’s coming to terms with the reality of the situation.

What, that you were special?

So irresistible that even straight women can’t keep their pants on around you?

I’ve known I was bi since I was 13.

Grow up.

At first, Bianca’s sneering dismissal had blindsided her. She knows that Bianca can be tough, but she’s never seen her deliberately hurt someone. Did Courtney really not matter to her at all? Was she really just some trick, easily cast aside?

But then, the more she thought about it, the more she realized how full of crap Bianca was.

Above all else, Courtney considers herself a realist. Does she sometimes see things through a blithely carefree lens? Sure. But she’s not a starry-eyed optimist who ignores the truth. She knows that the feelings between her and Bianca were real. There is no way that an entire year of laughter and tears, connection and vulnerability, was all in her head. There’s no way to ignore all the heated touches, the meaningful looks, the embraces that always went on too long. And there’s especially no way to deny what had transpired between them last weekend.

Courtney’s had a lot of casual sex in her life. But she’s also been in love. And the way Bianca kissed her? The way she held onto her, the way she touched her - that wasn’t casual, and it wasn’t just physical, either.

So the question is, why? Is Bianca so desperate to deny her feelings - feelings that she knows for a fact that Courtney returns - that she’s willing to do whatever it takes to hurt Courtney, push her away? Is she so terrified of what happened between them that she needs to sever any hope of a relationship, even the friendship that’s sustained them both for as long as they’ve known each other?

It appears so.

And fuck her.

There will be no wallowing in misery. No more pining and yearning and wishing that things were different.

When Courtney finally reaches her house, she’s gasping for air, face red and flushed, hair sticking to her forehead. She nearly collapses on the steps, grabbing onto the banister for support, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

Enough of this shit. She needs to move on with her life, and fast.

***

Bianca arrives home to find Jared on the couch, glass of wine in hand. Some forensic crime drama plays on the TV, which he appears to be ignoring, looking up from his phone with a big smile.

“Hey! Glad you’re finally home. I’m starving,” he says.

“I ordered Thai. It should be here soon.”

Jared makes a face, and she sighs tiredly.

“You like Thai,” she reminds him, turning on her heel and walking into the bedroom. She kicks off her shoes and quickly changes from her work clothes into yoga pants and an old, soft t-shirt. She’s gathering her hair into a bun when Jared appears in the doorway, leaning on the frame and scrutinizing her closely.

She doesn’t look back at him, simply continues to wind her hair around and around, securing it with a clip.

“What’s going on with you?”

“What do you mean?” Bianca asks blandly, walking to the door and attempting to push past him.

He stops her, a hand on her waist.

“I’m fucking serious.”

“I’m fine.” Bianca squirms away and pads into the kitchen, pulling out plates and silverware to set the table.

Jared walks up behind her. His voice is low as he growls, “Turn around.”

It’s not a request. Bianca turns slowly, heart pounding. He takes her face in his hand, eyes hard. Her breathing is shallow as she waits for him to speak again, a lump rising in her throat.

“Don’t you know how much I love you?” he asks.

“Yes.” Tears begin to slip down her cheeks and he tightens his grip on her, making her inhale sharply.

“You are everything to me. Do you know that?”

Bianca nods, now openly crying, as he wraps her into a hug.

“Good.”

***

Courtney’s always had a tendency to fall fast and hard for people. Lovers, friends, people in line at the grocery store - it is easy for her to open up, and easy for her to become utterly smitten with people over the course of a single conversation.

The flip side, of course, is that she sometimes loses interest when the next person catches her eye. Which means that a lot of her relationships have burned hot and fast, and then fizzled just as quickly.

Save for a core group, people seem to drift in and out of her life as the wind blows, and that’s okay with her. She appreciates the moments as they come. And there’s nothing she likes better than reconnecting with someone months or years after the last time they spoke, remembering everything wonderful about them and even better, finding out something new.

So she’s never cut anyone off. Because you never know where someone’s life will take them, what might bring them back into your orbit. What they’ve learned along the way.

Today, she’s making an exception. She doesn’t feel good about it, but blocking Bianca on social media seems like the only way to definitely say that it’s over. Her hands shake a little bit, and she shrugs off her anxiety, feeling silly. People unfollow and block each other all the time. Her friends use “block” to mean “I disagree with one thing you said.” There’s no reason this needs to be so hard.

When it’s done, she puts her phone on the table, face down. There. Done. Finito.

[loki-hargreeves]

The Apprentice - Loki Imagine [PART 8]

[PART 1] [PART 2] [PART 3] [PART 4] [PART 5] [PART 6] [PART 7] [PART 8]  [PART 9]

Warning; Angst, Thanos

Loki’s P.O.V.

The second I saw Y/N’s hand go through mine, only leaving a cold feeling on my skin, my heart dropped to my stomach. Our eyes met and I could tell she was just as terrified as me. She was surrounded by a purple light that came from the spaceship and it began to make her transparent. As I could see through her, I knew I had to do something.

‘‘Y/N I’m going to help you’‘ I promised her but it was too late. I had barely enough time to say her name as she disappeared. The purple light vanished and within a second, Nebula, Y/N and the spaceship were gone. A gush of wind hit my face as the spaceship left, leaving without a trace.

This blue lunatic took Y/N.

My thoughts were getting a hold of me, mixing with my anger, burning rage and pain. What was I supposed to do? We didn’t have a ship we could use to chase them! So I stood there, frozen by shock as I tried to let the truth sink into my mind. The world around me didn’t matter because all I could think about was Y/N, whom I supposed to protect! I shouldn’t have let her come this early...I should’ve told her to stay on Asgard! This was all my fault...

‘‘Loki’‘ Thor was the first one to speak. It triggered my rage as I turned around to face him. I noticed how everyone were uptight, baffled by what had happened but they were also scared for my reaction. There was this feeling of somebody clawing my heart, making my chest tight and aching. ‘‘We have to..to go after them. We must leave now!’‘ I tried to sound demanding but I failed. Tears stung my eyes as I fell into a void of disappointment.

I had let her down.

‘‘What are we waiting for?!’‘ I yelled loudly, that causing my tears to escape my eyes, rolling down my face, making me look pathetic but I couldn’t possibly be strong now. Some space criminal just abducted the woman I had given my heart to! Who knew where they were now? Or what Nebula was going to do to her. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to know because it would make me sick.

The silence they gave me was honestly painful. Soon, I collapsed on my knees and buried my face into my palms, sick of myself because there was nothing I could do. I yanked my own hair as I tried to drown my sobs of heartbreak, ashamed they were all there to see me like this. ‘’Heimdall, take us home’’ Hogun decided it was about time for us to leave. I didn’t bug as the portal opened and it dragged us away from the surface of Midgard, straight to the Bifrost.

My body was tense as I was on the rainbow bridge, my eyes staring at the large view of the universe. I scanned all the stars, my heart going into a knot as I realized Y/N could be anywhere. ‘’Can you see her?’’ I asked Heimdall, still not getting up. It’s like my body had gone limp, failing to carry me. I was just hoping dearly Heimdall had found her and he’d send me right to her. There was nothing else I wanted to do more than save her.

I blinked my tears away as I turned to face the man with the yellow eyes. He seemed to search for her, looking here and there and as time passed, I felt hopeless. After a while, he sighed and faced the floor. We were all waiting for good news but I had a bad gut feeling. So I stood up, putting on a tough face although I was standing in my world that was shattering around me.

‘‘I can’t, I’m sorry’‘ Heimdall finally revealed the truth. His words felt like a stab straight in my heart, my gut, my head and legs. If Heimdall couldn’t see her, how were we supposed to find her? 

‘‘Come on brother, I’ll help you inside’‘ Thor walked over to me, placing his big hand on my shoulder. On the inside, I was so mad that nobody had managed to stop this from happening. I wanted to blame everyone, my soul desired to yell at them to get blow some heat off. But I didn’t. I just faced Thor who gave me an apologetic look. For once, he wasn’t going to bloat nor make some dumb jokes. It’s like he wanted to comfort me, for real.

‘‘She’s gone and it’s all my fault’‘ I whispered, and realization hit me. ‘‘It’s not your fault, we’ll find her. Okay?’‘ Thor was quick to answer my words. I wasn’t sure if we could find her but I wouldn’t stop trying. I simply nodded and then let him walk me away from the Bifrost. I was just silenced, left alone in this burning sorrow as I kept hearing for Y/N’s life. It killed me that I couldn’t help her now. Who knew what she was going through as I was on Asgard? It felt so..unfair.

Your P.O.V.

‘‘Wake up. It’s time to move’‘ I heard an angry voice, causing me to open my eyes. For a split second, I thought I was safely in Asgard and some servant was trying to get me up. But as I took in my surroundings, fear crawled back underneath my skin as I remembered. Nebula was standing in front of me, arms crossed as she waited for me to get up. I couldn’t remember falling asleep so I just assumed I had passed out from fear and exhaustion.

Since I was so slow, she grabbed my arm harshly and began to drag me with her. Scared for my life, I followed her. If I’d disobey, I could very well just get killed. The doors opened and the spaceship made a small bridge for us to get out of. Nebula tugged me out of the ship and I noticed a rather terrifying place around us. We had landed on a space rock, which was big but it had nothing on it. All I could see was the dark space around us, stars, loads of dust on the surface of this dark rock. It was cold and I was terrified. This was like a nightmare!

Nebula took me towards something that looked like a throne. Someone was sitting on there and I feared it was her father. As we got closer, I could see the man well. Just laying my eyes on him was enough to make me physically sick. He was bald, completely purple, wrinkly yet strong and he was huge. The man was wearing some weird armour as he sat on his throne, eyeing him with a disgusting grin on his face. That’s when I saw someone else sitting on a rock beside him. It was a green woman with dark red hair. Her legs were crossed and she eyed me like I was going to get killed. She had a sorry look on his face she desperately tried to hide. Of course, that made me even more horrified of the situation. Who was this man? What did he want from me?

‘‘What have you brought to me, daughter?’‘ He spoke, and his voice alone made me cringe. He was the real lunatic here. I tried to look around for an escape but I saw nothing. We were in the middle of nowhere and I was afraid Heimdall couldn’t see us. If he did, I’d be sure Loki would already be here. I felt so damn scared I wanted to disappear. Why was this happening to me?

‘‘A sister - as you wished’‘ Nebula answered the man and pushed me forward. I almost stumbled as she did tho but I was lucky enough to stay on my feet. Suddenly the purple man stood up from his throne, walking towards me. Tears that I had grown so familiar with stung my eyes as I held my breath, trying to keep them in. It was undeniable that I was quivering. I wasn’t even sure what to think.

‘‘What is your name, little woman?’‘ The man asked me, standing right in front of me. He was so tall I had to look up to face him. He cast a shadow on me which made me feel even smaller. A part of me told me to fight but I already knew I had no chance of surviving if I’d attack him. His two daughters would definitely break my neck if I tried anything.

So I had no choice but to play along with this sick and twisted game of theirs. ‘’I-I’m Y/N’’ I stuttered, surprised I found my voice. I flinched as his hand neared my face and he touched my hair as if he was examining me. It disgusted me as I stood there, letting him explore my features like I was a toy. ‘’Y/N...I am Thanos. These are your sisters, Nebula who you’ve already met and Gamora, my favourite daughter’’ He introduced me to this craziness. I was a bit mad he called the other daughter his favourite for Nebula to hear. As I looked at the blue woman, I could tell the comment irked her.

‘‘Can I go? I’m not..what you’re looking for, please’‘ I suddenly sobbed, feeling so desperate to leave I would beg. This was clearly the wrong thing to do. Thanos clenched his jaw and yanked my hair up so I was standing on my feet, my hands holding onto his as I tried to get free. The pain alone was enough to trigger my tears but so was the fear. My heart jumped to my throat and I regretted what I said immediately. 

‘‘You are home now. You’re not going anywhere’‘ Thanos told me lowly, right in front of my face. His voice was so threatening I was convinced he would squish me like a bug if I wouldn’t listen. How the Hel would I survive this? Would I ever get back to Loki?

That’s when I realized how much I already missed him. I felt so guilty for disappointing him. Now he was probably angry and sad, all because of me..

[PART 9]

Author’s Note: Woopsie. Will Loki find you? Or are you stuck there with Thanos and his cruelty?

The Apprentice; @yuna-belikova  @chloe-skywalker  @colagirl5  @infp-lovesyou @part-time-patronus @nizem8 @priincesspriincesspriincess  @saved-by-stucky  @fussballerina1909 @marvel-fanfiction  @bookgirlunicorn @spac3unic0rn  @one-loki-fanfic  @markusstraya

Forever Taglist;  @iraniq @embrycallsgirl @blackroseyaz  @puddins-princess @r-alexandra01

[fiction-phan]

Workaholic

Day 14 of the 25 Days of Christmas

Summary: Dan and Phil can't stand each other but Phil's son loves Dan and Dan is actually a very good babysitter. Phil can't afford to lose him, no matter how much he hates him.

Words: 2.8k

Read it on AO3

A/N: This is actually one of my favourite fics so far so I really hope you enjoy it!

Phil  wasn't sure what he had ever done to deserve such a fate.  He couldn't understand why his son idolised Dan Howell and he couldn't stand him.

It put him in a very precarious situation where he had to be careful over what to say to Dan.  Anything too offensive or insulting could have him packing his bags and then his son would end up hating him. That's the last thing Phil wanted.

“I just put Alex to bed but we both know he won't sleep until you go tuck him into bed yourself,” Dan said,  walking into his office  without knocking.  Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

Phil got up and walked to his son’s bedroom but not before giving Dan a dirty look. “Would it kill you to knock before walking into my office?”

Dan ignored him and followed him to Alex’s bedroom. “Alex, your dad is here to tuck you in properly,” he said and smiled when he saw the look of joy on the child's face.

“Daddy!” Alex screamed,  throwing his arms up for a hug. “I didn't know you got back from your work trip. Dan and I had lots and lots of fun today.  We went to see the animals, and a man gave me a carrot to feed the horses.  Their mouths felt funny daddy.”

Phil grinned,  his son’s excitement was contagious. Seeing Alex smile like that was the reason he kept Dan around, regardless of his personal feelings towards the man. Dan connected with his son in a way none of the previous babysitters managed and Phil was grateful.  It was such a relief for him to see Alex happy when he left for business trips rather than tearful and throwing tantrums.

“ I wanted to surprise you,” Phil said,  leaning down to hug his son and sitting down next to his bed. “ I'm glad you had so much fun with Dan today.  Did you like the horses?”

“The horses were really cool,” Alex gushed, waving his arms around to show his excitement. “Then after the horses Dan took me to get an ice-cream and let me get two scoops, didn't you Dan?”

Dan smiled at him fondly and nodded. “I sure did. You deserved it for being so brave and feeding the horses. Next time we'll go to the zoo instead and visit a lot of different animals.”

Alex’s  answering  beam  made everything worth it for him. “ I'll go wash the dishes we used for dinner.  I'll leave you to tell your dad about everything we did today.”

Dan locked out of Alex’s bedroom but didn't close the door all the way. Instead of going to the kitchen like he said, Dan stuck around and peeked through the gap in the door.

“I'm glad you had so much fun with Dan today buddy,” Phil was saying, tucking the bedsheets around his son. “I know how much you like to spend time with him.”

Dan couldn't hold back a small smile. Phil was a completely different person when he was around Alex. With Alex he was sweet, loving and playful. When he was with Dan he turned into an arrogant bastard he loved to hate.

Dan moved away from the door and made his way to the kitchen before Phil could realise he was still there. He was in the middle of washing the dishes when Phil walked in. “You know you don't have to do that. Your job is babysitting Alex not washing the dishes.”

Dan shrugged. “I don't mind. There weren’t too many dirty dishes and I don't like leaving a mess behind me,” he said. He noticed Phil standing awkwardly near the door and rolled his eyes. “Did you need something?”

Phil stiffened at seeing Dan rolling his eyes but didn't comment on it. He needed a favour from him and getting in his bad books would not help him out. “I need you to look after Alex tomorrow.”

Dan dropped the dish in his hand and turned around to glare at him. “What do you mean you need me to watch him tomorrow? You gave me the day off and I remember you telling Alex you would spend the whole day with him tomorrow to make up for the business trip you just got back from.”

“An important meeting came up for tomorrow. It’s only for a day but I couldn't get out of it. I'm sure Alex won’t  mind that much, he loves spending time with you,” Phil said, failing to contain his bitterness.

“Of course he’s going to mind!” Dan snapped, throwing the dish towel on the table in anger. “This is the third time this month. You're always promising Alex you'll be spending the day with him only to cancel when a meeting or business trip comes up. No wonder he feels like you care about your job more than you care about him.”

Phil  was about to retaliate when Dan’s  words registered. “Wait,” he said, looking at Dan in horror.  “What do you mean he thinks I care about my job more than him? I swear to God Howell if you're making this up to get to me, I’ll -”

“I'm not making anything up,” Dan interjected before Phil could threaten him. “Alex had trouble sleeping these past three nights. He kept waking up in the middle of the night and coming to my room saying he is scared of sleeping on his own. Yesterday I slept next to him in the hopes he wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night. It didn't work, and he woke up sobbing and rambling about how you love your job more than him. He thinks he did something wrong.”

Phil tried to swallow but felt a lump in his throat. He knew that he was not around very much and his son missed him but he didn’t realise it got to where his son thought he didn't love him. Phil though Dan’s presence would be enough, but he was wrong.

Phil almost phoned his secretary right away to ask her to cancel the meeting, but he knew his company would suffer if he did that. “It's too late to cancel now,” he said, walking out to get away from Dan’s disappointed look. “I'll make it up to him.”

“You always say that.”

*

The morning after was hard on Phil. He had to pretend he didn't see Alex’s lip wobbling when he told him he had to go to work and that he didn't hear him crying in Dan’s arms when he closed the door behind him.

Phil wasn’t heartless. Alex was the most important person in his life and it broke his heart knowing he was the one causing his son pain. But he couldn't give up his job. It didn't mean Phil loved his job more than his son but he knew that sometimes sacrifices needed to be made.  Alex would understand once he was a little older.

At least that’s what Phil told himself on his way to work as an attempt at easing his guilty conscience. He tried convincing himself Alex would stop crying and get over his disappointment once Dan took him out for a day of fun.

“Dan has everything under control,” Phil said to himself,  ignoring the irony of putting everything in the hands of the person he was supposed to hate.

*

Barely an hour into the meeting, Phil realised it wasn't going to work. He kept thinking about Alex and whether Dan got him to calm down. As a result, he hadn't listened to a word that was said. What was the point of disappointing his son once again if he wasn't even going to take part in the meeting?

“I’m sorry, I can't do this,” he announced, standing up. He walked out of the meeting room without a backward glance,  uncaring of the repercussions.

Dan’s words the night before really struck a chord. He didn't want his son to grow up thinking his dad loves his job more than him. Phil kept saying Alex was the most important person in his life, but what good was that if he never showed it?

“Lisa,  I want you to cancel all my plans for this week; I'm taking the week off,” he said and walked out of his office before his secretary even had the chance to question him.

Phil was going to spend time with his son, and no one was going to stop him.

*

Phil got home just as Dan and Alex were about to leave for the park.

“Daddy!” Alex yelled, running up to his dad and throwing himself at him. “I thought you said you have an important meeting.”

“Turns out it wasn't that important,” he explained, ignoring the smug smile Dan was directing at him. “Do you mind if I join you at the park? It's been a while since I've been there.”

Alex looked as if Christmas had come early this year. It only made Phil feel guiltier for having ignored his son for such a long time. Alex shouldn't be looking so excited over getting to go to the park with his dad.

He was just about to tell Dan that he was no longer needed and he could take his day off when Alex grabbed his babysitter’s hand and dragged him over to Phil. “Come on Dan, we can teach my dad how to play Catch. The last time my dad and I played Catch together he lost, so he's not great but maybe he can beat you today.”

Phil didn't have to heart to tell Dan to leave when he saw how excited his son looked at the prospect of them playing Catch together.

Dan seemed to be on the same wavelength because he smiled and agreed with Alex rather than announce he was leaving. Phil would just have to deal with his presence.

“Come on then, let’s go to the park.”

*

Hanging out with Dan was weird. Phil found himself not knowing what to say. On one hand, he didn't want it to be awkward for Alex’s sake. But he had spent so much time hating Dan and everything he stood for that now it felt weird having to act civilly for more than a few minutes.

It seemed Dan was finding it just as strange, judging by the weird looks he was giving Phil when he thought he wasn't looking.

Seeing the way Dan behaved with Alex, Phil felt his hatred towards the man fade away. How could he hate someone who spent so much time making sure his son felt loved while he was away?

If it wasn't for Dan, Alex would not be the happy boy he was seeing right now and their relationship could have been too damaged to fix if Dan wasn't around to keep Alex company.

The longer he spent with Alex in Dan’s company, the more Phil realised the reason he hated Dan so much. It was jealousy. Seeing the close relationship Dan shared with the son, Phil couldn't help but feel jealous even though he knew he only had himself to blame for the closeness he lacked with his son.

Phil fooled himself into thinking he hated Dan for mundane reasons such as him not putting back Alex’s toys in their original place. After all the failed babysitters who wanted nothing to do with Alex, Phil should have been grateful that Dan stuck around through all of Alex's tantrums in the beginning.

Phil also knew that he owed Dan a thank you for what he said previously.  Phil thought his words to be hard and unnecessary. He didn't think it was the babysitter’s place to tell him that he wasn't spending enough time with his son.

Now he knew that if Dan hadn't spoken like that, he would not be spending the day with them at the park. Instead, he would be at the meeting, bored out of his mind.

Phil waited until Alex was busy going down the slide to talk to Dan. “Thank you,” he said, surprised to find he really meant it.

Dan looked just as shocked as he felt. “You’re thanking me without being sarcastic? That’s a first.”

Phil did not raise to the bait. He knew Dan was just trying to get a reaction out of him and Phil didn't want to do that. What he really wanted to do was explain himself. “Actually, I am. I know I haven't given you the best impression of myself,”  he said, ignoring the incredulous look Dan was aiming at him. “I’m aware I work a lot. That is something that will have to change. I can't keep putting my job before Alex and you made me realise that.”

“I always knew you love your son, in your own way. I just thought you had a funny way of showing it. It was difficult for me to understand how you could leave your son with a babysitter day after day while you went to work or on business trips that took weeks,” Dan explained with a shrug.

Now that they were talking in a civil manner, Phil could understand Dan’s point of view and why he would think like that. To the outside eye, he looked like someone who couldn't care less about his son. However, that couldn't be further from the truth. Phil just hoped Dan could see that now.

“I the rest of the week off. My secretary knows not to contact me this week unless it's an emergency. I plan on spending all my time with Alex and I was hoping you would join us,” Phil said,  having to hide a smirk when he saw the surprise on Dan’s face.

“You want me to hang around while you're spending time with Alex?”

Phil nodded. “You’re important to Alex, whether I like it or not. For the past few months, he’s every waking moment with you because I wasn't around. If you suddenly disappear for a week Alex will get upset and those are not my intentions. I know I promised you a day off, but I was hoping we could reschedule?”

Dan nodded, but he was still looking at Phil in suspicion. “Fine, I’ll spend the week with you. Let’s make one thing clear though,” he said, pointing at Phil. “I’m not doing this for you.  I'm doing this for Alex, because I don't want him to think I've abandoned him. Are we clear?”

“Crystal.”

*

1 year later….

“Dan!” Alex shouted, running down the stairs. “Daddy’s back!”

“No running down the stairs,” Dan called back, although he knew it would fall on deaf ears.

Dan was just as excited as Alex for Phil’s return. Phil had been gone for two weeks, on a business trip which would take his company to the next level. It was the longest business trip he had gone on ever since his conversation with Dan in the park.

He still had numerous meetings he needed to attend to but he no longer works the long hours he used to before. In the time he was away, Dan was more than happy to take care of Alex. Dan was just glad that Alex got his dad back.

Phil opened the door to find Alex and Dan waiting to greet him.

Alex got to him first, and he dived into his father’s arms, a grin lighting up his face. “I missed you so much Dad!”

“I missed you too, buddy. Did you have a nice time with Dan?”

“It was great! We went to the aquarium, the zoo and the playground…”

Phil wanted to hear all about the adventures his son got up to while he was gone, but first he wanted to greet his boyfriend properly. He waited for Alex to finish his current story and then spoke up before he could recount something else. “Hey Alex, how about you go wash your hands so we can have dinner and then I’ll give you the presents I bought you?”

“Presents!” Alex said, running out before Phil could say much else.

Phil pulled Dan in close for a kiss and smiled when his boyfriend’s arms wrapped around his neck. “Missed me?”

“You know I did,” Dan said, rolling his eyes. “As annoying as you can be, you are good company.”

Sometimes it still amused Phil to think of how they went from hating each other to dating in less than a year. After Phil cut down on work and spent more time at home, they bonded over their love for Alex. They took a long time to realise Alex was not what kept them coming back to each other, but they got there eventually.

“If I ever need to leave for so long again, I’m taking you both with me. I can’t stay without my boys for so long.”

Dan didn’t disagree. He pulled Phil in for another kiss that took his breath away before breaking it off to whisper in his ear, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

A/N: What do you think?

Little health update for whoever cares: I went to the doctor today and he gave me antibiotics so my brain felt a little less mushy and I was able to write this. However, I had to miss my theory driving test which was not cool.

(11 days to go till the end of the 25 Days of Christmas!)

[okgrumps-blog]

The Best and the Worst of You

Chapter 4: Mermaid Arin

AO3 link | Read chapter 1 | more

“Will you be okay?” Dan asked in a worried tone, sitting with Arin some time before 11pm. His arm was draped over the younger man’s shoulders. With a soft chuckle, Arin shook his head.

“It’s not like you could do anything about it if I wasn’t.” Arin sighed gently, smiling at Dan. “But, yes. I’m alright.” He nodded, a confirming nod following from Dan. Dan leaned back against the couch and sighed, resting both arms behind his head. 

He only had so long before Dan left for the hour.

“It’s weird, right? That this happens?” Arin tilted his head. “But it happens and we accept it.” Arin rubbed his hands together, Dan nodding beside him. “Thanks for letting me stay over, by the way… I’m sorry we didn’t get to record anything today.” Dan nudged him with a soft grin.

“Don’t worry about it. We can record tomorrow, and extra if we have to.” Dan patted Arin’s shoulder. “And- if any weird shit like yesterday happens... “

“I’ll be fine.” Arin reassured him, aiming to pat Dan’s knee, but misjudging and patting his thigh instead. He drew his hand back quickly, embarrassed. “Plus, Barry will be here too.”

Upon hearing his name, Barry poked his head around the doorway of the hallway and gave Arin a thumbs up and a big grin, before walking off to his room. Arin gave a thumbs up back to Barry, and when he turned to talk to Dan again, he was gone. He let out a small sigh, flicking the TV on and finding something to watch.

Dan found himself at some kind of harbour in the early evening. The waves lapped gently against the moss-covered rocks across the beachfront, the sky glowing with a soft pink radiance. Dan took a deep breath in as his lungs filled with the salty air, deciding to take a seat on the edge of the dock. It was quiet. He slipped his trainers and socks off, placing them beside him as he looked out across the horizon. It was beautiful, and he thought he may as well take a moment to admire the view before finding Arin. Hesitantly, he dipped his feet into the water and sighed with relief. It was incredibly peaceful.

In the distance, he thought he could see something shimmer for a moment in the water. He squinted, leaning forward, but he couldn’t see anything. He shrugged to himself and continued to sit, gently swaying his legs in the water. Content, he closed his eyes and relaxed fully.

Next to him, there was a disturbance in the water, breaking through the sound of the waves against the shore. Dan thought he had misheard at first, but upon opening his eyes, he gasped, falling silent in awe.

With his hair falling in soft curls against his pearly-white skin, Arin looked up at him from the water, resting his arms against the side of the dock. He tilted his head and leaned it against his forearms, watching Dan with curiosity. Dan opened his mouth to speak, but as he did so, the breath was drawn from him as Arin lifted what appeared to be a shimmering pink mermaid’s tail from the water. Arin studied Dan’s expression, lowering his tail back into the sea with a mischievous grin.

“Looks like you’ve never seen a mermaid before.” Arin remarked, his eyes trailing across Dan’s body. His voice was low and soft-spoken. Dan felt his cheeks heat up, rolling his eyes.

“Looks like I haven’t.” Dan responded. “God, your tail…”

“It’s beautiful, right?” Arin chuckled, lifting it out of the water again, so that Dan could marvel at it. Dan trailed his eyes over it in endearment. “Humans are so predictable. It’s just a tail.” Arin scoffed and gently lowered his tail back into the water. Dan pouted and looked over Arin with a confused expression.

“You don’t know who I am?” Dan asked curiously. If he’d learned anything from the internet, it was that between him and Arin, Dan was more likely to be a mermaid-type creature. But here they were, in actuality, Dan being the one to gush over something as simple as a fish tail. Arin seemed to study Dan as he spoke, catching every subtle movement of body expression.

“You know who I am though, don’t you…?” Arin hummed, lifting his head up. “What’s a handsome man like you doing all the way out here?” And Dan swears he must look bright red at this point.

Dan explained himself, as he always did. He was someone gifted with the power of time-travelling, and although not intentional, he got to visit different versions of his best friend every single day. Arin listened to him with the utmost curiosity, dipping his tail in and out of the water as Dan spoke.

“So, somewhere out there, there’s a human version of me.” Arin smiled to himself. “I think that’d be interesting.” Dan grinned with an enthusiastic nod.

“Yeah, I’ve got a pretty interesting life, I think,” Dan told, “We play videogames for a living.”

Arin sat and listened to Dan’s stories from his own dimension for what had seemed like hours. The time here appeared to pass slower than usual, which Dan was quite thankful for, as he really enjoyed this Arin’s presence. He learned that Suzy was another human that visited the dock often, but she was only a friend, and with the amount of stares Dan received from the mermaid, Dan could figure out why.

“Do you, uh… want to come in the water?” Arin asked shyly, pushing himself away from the dock as he bobbed in the water. Dan looked at Arin like he was crazy.

“Are you kidding? I’m like- fully clothed!” Dan laughed, shaking his head. Arin frowned and swam closer to Dan, reaching his hand up to touch Dan’s. Dan stiffened.

“I’ll let you touch my tail…” Arin almost whispered. Dan found himself slipping down from the dock almost instantly, Arin laughing loudly as Dan treaded water to keep himself afloat. With hesitance, Dan reached forward as Arin offered his tail to him. Arin raised an eyebrow.

“Oh my God, this is so weird…” Dan giggled, running his hand across the iridescent pink scales. It was silky smooth to the touch. Glancing up at Arin to check his expression, he noticed that Arin’s cheeks were redder than before. “This is what I’d imagine a dragon would feel like.”

“No way, man…” Arin nearly sounded offended, with a scoff. “Dragon scales are fucking rough as shit. They nowhere near as smooth as this.” Arin winked, Dan’s heart fluttering. If only his own Arin would be this suggestive. Then again, Arin was a married man, and this guy - the most interaction this guy had was speaking to a cute human girl every week or so. Dan’s brain kicked into gear and his jaw dropped.

“Wait- dragons actually exist here?!” He gasped, which sent Arin into a laughing fit.

The sky darkened above them, and Dan figured it was nearly time for him to leave. He hoisted himself back onto the dock and looked at Arin from above, the younger man swimming to the side of the dock to watch Dan intently. Dan sighed.

“I had fun, Arin. But I think I’m leaving soon…” He frowned, seeing Arin’s expression fall. Arin huffed and crossed his arms, gently bobbing up and down.

“I had fun too.” He admitted, reaching a hand up to brush his hair out of his face. “I don’t want you to go, though… Will you come back?” He asked, hopeful. Dan looked down at his feet.

“I can’t choose where I go. It’s totally random. And I’ve never been back to the same place twice.” Dan admitted gently. Arin nudged himself closer and took a deep breath in, attempting to push himself up onto the dock. “Arin- Arin what are you doing?!” Dan was a little scared. He watched Arin struggle for a maximum of five seconds, before wrapping his arms around Arin’s waist and dragging him up onto the dock with him. Arin seemed surprised, shuffling so that he was sat on the dock next to Dan in embarrassment. “What was that for?” Dan asked, a playful smile across his face.

Before he could register what was happening, Arin held the side of Dan’s face with care and leaned in to kiss Dan. Dan buckled, kissing Arin back. It was soft and sweet, Dan’s hands meeting Arin’s bare chest in seconds. Dan felt a twinge in his stomach and pulled away, looking utterly distraught.

“Kiss her like you kissed me.” Dan said quietly, referring to Suzy, the hurt in his voice evident. Arin looked at Dan with only sadness.

“I don’t want to kiss anyone but you.” Arin felt the tears well up in his eyes. Dan shook his head and held Arin by the shoulders.

“You can’t live in solitude for the rest of your life, Ar.” Dan frowned, looking into Arin’s eyes. “You gotta take a stand. I know you said you’re not interested in her but God, I know you like the back of my own hand - <i>yes</i>, you do.” Dan sighed. Arin was silent, guilty. He nodded weakly and sniffled.

In Dan’s own words, he realised that he might as well have been saying this to himself.

“I’ll try.” Arin reached up to his shoulder and put his hand over Dan’s. “But I’ll never love anyone as much as I love you.” He said softly. Dan’s eyes widened, letting go of Arin’s shoulders. This was too much for someone who’d only just met Dan.

“You do know who I am…” Dan said, breath-taken. He stared as Arin slid off of the dock, back into the ocean.

“Dan Avidan.” Arin smiled, his heart aching. “We used to spend evenings here together.” He shook his head with a soft laugh. His expression faltered as he looked back up at Dan again. “Then he never came back.” He said, coldness in his voice. Dan was shocked, reaching a hand out for Arin.

“What happened?! God fucking damn it, Arin!” He called, watching as the mermaid swam off into the distance. He choked out a sob and stared at the horizon, squeezing his eyes shut and crying it out.

If he’d have opened his eyes one last time, he would have seen Arin watching him from a distance away, tears streaming down his face.

Dan was still sobbing when he appeared in the Grump bathroom again, hands over his face as he cried like a baby. He’d never know what happened to that Arin and his Dan. He’d kissed him, knowing nothing of his past. Dan tried to make a difference, and he managed to fuck it up all at the last minute.

He eventually dragged himself back to his apartment, shuffling inside. He wasn’t crying anymore, but he felt numb. He kicked his shoes off in the doorway and stepped inside, looking around for any sign of Arin. Arin and Barry were curled up on the couch together, Arin sleeping soundly against Barry’s shoulder. Barry looked up at Dan and smiled happily, glad to see his friend again.

“How did it go?” Barry whispered, trying not to wake Arin. Dan leaned against the wall by the TV and let out a huge sigh.

“Wake Arin up, please.” Dan’s eyes fell on the sleeping beauty. He didn’t want to, but it was important that Arin knew what happened today, more so than any other time. Barry didn’t fight, gently shaking him awake with a soft voice.

Arin sat up sleepily and looked at Barry with furrowed brows. Asshole, he thought. Then he looked up to see Dan and his expression softened entirely, seeing that Dan seemed a little worse for wear.

“Do you want me to leave you two to it?” Barry asked, nervous. He could sense the mood had dropped, and he always felt the anxiety rising in his chest whenever Dan spoke about his adventures - he could never place why, but it made him feel bad. Especially for Arin, who had to imagine his best friend hanging out with a copy of him for an hour. Dan nodded, and Barry gathered his phone and the empty bowl of what was filled with popcorn, leaving the room.

“Was it bad?” Arin croaked, his voice dry from being asleep. Dan took the seat next to him. “You know you gotta tell me.” He hung an arm over Dan’s shoulders.

It took Dan an entire hour to explain what had happened at the beach. And when he was coming to the end of the story, he fell quiet, looking over Arin.

“Arin…” He started, shifting his whole body so that he was facing the bigger man. Arin did the same, tilting his head. He was nervous, but he didn’t show it.

“What- did I die or something?” Arin asked worriedly, his spare hand immediately reaching for Dan’s own. The contact was too much, and Dan began to feel incredibly sad again. They both fell quiet, Dan shaking his head. Arin spoke up again after a moment. “Dan, what happened?”

Dan was drifting towards Arin, his eyes flicking to Arin’s lips. Arin immediately caught on and raised his eyebrows. Without any further questions, they locked into a kiss, a tear rolling down Dan’s cheek. Arin reached up and ran his hand over Dan’s hair, desperate. It’s what he wanted. It’s what they <i>both</i> wanted, and what they <i>both</i> needed. Dan snaked his hand through Arin’s hair and hushed a quiet moan, and Arin immediately drew away, realising that Dan was on the verge of tears.

“I wanted it too.” Arin reassured him, fear filling his eyes as he understood that Dan thinks he might have fucked up. “I- Suzy’s cool with it, I’m cool with it- Dan?” He tried to read Dan’s expression, but his face was hidden mostly by hair as he was looking down. He brushed Dan’s hair away from his face and tilted his head up gently. “Dan.”

Dan stopped crying, watching Arin with a confused expression. Had he heard that right? Was he dreaming right now? Was he in another dimension?

“What?” He asked weakly, sniffing and rubbing furiously at his eyes. Arin gave him a genuine smile and cupped his face with his hand.

“I said, I wanted it too.” He looked at Dan to make sure he was listening. “Suzy and I have spoken about this… I just- I didn’t know you felt this way, too.” His voice was soft and calming, and Dan melted to his touch. Dan smiled slowly.

“Are you sure?” Dan asked, his voice timid. Arin nodded. They looked up to see Barry over by the door, a gentle smile on his face, too. “Barry?” Dan questioned, out of the loop.

“If it helps, I’m seeing Suzy.” He grinned. “So I know she’s fine with it.” It was a passing comment, because he left moments later, only sticking around for the reassurance. Dan looked back at Arin in disbelief.

“Open relationship.” Arin explained with a shy smile. “I… I want to be with you, Dan. If that’s okay with you.”

And then they were kissing again, sparks and fireworks soaring above their heads. Dan wrapped his arms around Arin’s waist, and Arin draped his arms over Dan’s shoulders.

For once, Dan thinks, things were going alright for him.