#sorry I feel the need to clarify that so much- the theorist community is.. so toxic right now

[chipistrate]

Augh- how do I word this,, I don't want to get too deep into this cause it's not something I care enough to talk too deeply about, especially not publicly.

Prefacing this with; I have absolutely nothing against Matpat and this isn't about WHAT he says in his theories, it's about how he theorizes.

He gets stuff wrong. Like- a lot. Not that his theories are wrong- but he gets details about stuff blatantly wrong and uses the misinformation to support his theories, and a lot of what he gets wrong is from the books, which makes people believe him more easily cause not as many people are going to take the time to actually read them and instead just listen to what Matpat has to say.

He uses stuff from media that we've been explicitly told to not use to form the very base of his current theories, and he's so insistent on using the stuff from said media in all of his theories, whether they're about the games or the movies.

He bases his theories off his previous theories and sometimes makes wild leaps to try and justify his them, he theorizes as he plays the games, he grabs the tiniest details to try and say he was right, and he never really takes a step back from the web of theory upon theory to try and look at the series from the viewpoint of what it is, instead of what he's crafted it to be.

I won't say he's objectively wrong in the theories he ends up with, because truly we don't know for a fact, but what he's crafted from the misinformation to the using stuff from media we're not supposed to use is wildly different from what we're being shown in the games and it can be hard to listen to,,,,

And it sucks because I subscribed to him ages ago specifically for his fnaf theories- hell, he was the reason I got into fnaf in the first place. But how he's been theorizing recently has been hard to watch as a long time fan.

MatPat makes one video for each of his four fucking channels every week is it fair to call him a content farm like DUDE GIVE IT A FUCKING REST YOUR THEORIES ARE GARBAGE AND WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU ACTUALLY TOOK TIME ON THEM

[magic8realism]

Chapter 1: Therapy

It was an all too familiar experience, sitting there with nothing but the sound of deafening silence. How many times has it been now? Eight? Nine? Maybe less? Was it sensible to keep count? No, she promised herself she would not entertain such thoughts. She reminded herself that she was here to get better. Yes, that is precisely what Michaela told her. She needed to get better, but was that even possible? Is it possible for someone who had been through what she had gone through to get better? Michaela said she should not give up, that she had made some excellent progress, but her mind knew that Michaela had no idea that it was all an act, a false persona. People need to put an act sometimes to get by. Life demands it. Certain professions would not allow its occupants to survive without it. Her situation was not different.

“Miss. Collins, are you okay? You haven’t said anything for a while now.”

Her eyes darted towards the blond middle-aged woman sitting right across from her. Mary Grove was her name, was it? Michaela told her she was the best therapist in the city. Her friend did say the same thing about other therapists before her, yet not a single one of them had been able to help her. Maybe she was a hopeless case. Maybe she should just accept the fact that she would never overcome the experience and just give in. It would be nice, leaving this world with all its troubles. The ironic thing was that her traumatic experience had left her brain so fragmented and incapable of aligning its contradictory demands that she would no longer know if death was really what it wanted. She would find herself at one point at the pit of a spiral of depression so intense that she would wish she was dead. Her sadistic mind would even go on to devise one method after another in search of the best way to go. A few moments later it would recoil in terror. Her heartbeat would race, her whole body would start to convulse and her chest would struggle to fill her lungs with air. The episode would go on and off for hours until it totally annihilated her grip on reality and sent her crawling into a corner to wait for her impending doom.

“Lesly are you okay?”

No, she was not okay. No one in this god-forsaken city was okay. What made this woman believe anyone was okay? Isn’t that what they say any way? That every single individual suffers from an issue of sorts?  

“Do you need me to get you anything?” Mary asked with a concerned look on her face.

“I’m fine,” Lesly finally decided to answer.

Mary nodded her head, acknowledging the response she was given. She started scribbling on her notebook before she finally decided to address her newest patient, “Shall we continue?”

When Leslie smiled emptily in response to Mary’s question, Mary proceeded, her gaze cantered undividedly on Leslie, “Michaela told me about your situation, but I would like to hear your story.”

Oh yes, the story, that god-awful story. She must have told that story like a hundred times. Although she would like nothing more than to forget it, her brain would make sure to remind her every once in a while. True to its sadistic streak, her brain would not only reminisce on the moments when she was most helpless and scared but would also make her relive every excruciating detail of that experience every chance it gets. Nightmares were quite common and as awful as they were, they were still preferable to the far more harrowing and intrusive flashbacks. Yes, sharing the story should be a breeze. Why would she object to telling it?

“You already know it. Why go through it again?” Lesly answered dryly.

“That’s fine. We won’t discuss it then,” Mary responded with a smile. It seemed that she had had her fair share of difficult patients before Lesly showed up.  

“How’s work Lesly?”

Was Mary trying to approach the problem from a different direction now? Lesly had encountered that strategy a lot, especially when she was reticent. It was obvious what Mary was trying to do.

“You are familiar with my line of work,” Lesly answered calmly.

“Michaela told me you are a brilliant lawyer.”

Brilliant indeed. She could barely afford these sessions. Ever since the death of her younger brother seven years ago, she had been suffering this overwhelming guilt that robbed her of sleep. That guilt would only be eased a little when she distracted herself with work. However, it was not long before she lost the sense of comfort that work gave her. Every case she took made her feel miserable, not only because some clients proved to be the absolute worst human beings on earth, but also because she was the reason the people who really needed help found themselves financially crippled soon afterwards. Eventually, she began taking more cases pro bono. She convinced herself that she was balancing some of the bad with a little good, but sadly that was not the case. People do charity work for different reasons. There are those who help out of the goodness of their heart, and there are those who help for purely selfish reasons, to fix their public image, deceive people into thinking they are somebody that they are not, or even use their charity organization as a front for illegal activities. She could easily fall into the second category. Helping was one way she could convince herself that she was not a bad person, and because she knew that was a lie, she found herself charging her clients little to none over and over in an effort to mask that reality. It was not long before her savings dried up and she found herself downgrading everything in her life to make ends meet. That did not bother her much. As long as she was handling that overwhelming sense of guilt, she was fine. Soon afterwards, she joined Sonata, a charity organization concerned with helping the victims of human trafficking and putting an end to their suffering. Unfortunately, every case she took through Sonata following the incident was nothing more than a blatant reminder of what she had gone through.

“Lesly?”

“I’m sorry. I was just thinking about a case I encountered at work today,” Lesly finally decided to answer, realizing that the long time she took to respond was also a sign this Mary person could use to figure her out.

“Care to share it with me?” Mary asked patiently, hoping to get Lesly to finally open up.  

Lesly sighed, wondering whether it was worth it to say anything at all or not. She eventually decided to randomly choose a case and to present it to Mary as a way to fill the silence.

“There is this woman, early twenties, who came to the city of Redlyn in hopes of finding a job that would support her and her five-year old son. She trusted the wrong people and ended up in a prostitution job that she could not leave for fear that her son might get hurt. We managed to save her, but we can’t find her son.”

“That is awful.”

“Yes, that is what people normally say, and yet no body is doing anything about the problem.”

“Lesly, what makes you think the problem is getting worse?” Mary asked after a moment of silence.

“What makes you think it’s getting better?”

“Wouldn’t you consider the changes the newly elected mayor promised to make a step in the right direction?” Mary clarified.

Leslie could not help but laugh at this point, “Politicians!”

Unable to keep her real thoughts to herself any longer, she continued, “The slave-trade has grown prosperous due to the city’s stagnant environment, yet despite the growing numbers we announce, politicians still insist that we exaggerate. Why do you think that?”

“You tell me.”

“Because they are entangled in that mess. The persistence of the problem helps them. They get paid a handsome some by the syndicates running the show to stay quiet. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the city’s major political figures are involved in the lucrative sex-trade that such an activity gave rise to.”

Silence again. The crime rate in the city of Redlyn was high. That was an undisputed fact. The factors behind the increase in crime rate, however, were a source of a major controversy. As with any community, there are those who believed that hijacking people’s freedom through stricter laws was the answer. There are the conspiracy theorists who would either trace the problem to some foreign powers or locate it in the existing government. And then there are the religious fanatics who would simply interpret every occurrence as God’s punishment to the sinful.

“That is…an interesting analysis, Lesly,” Mary replied hesitantly after a moment of silence.

Great! She must have already been categorized as another conspiracy theorist. Lesly did not normally care what other people thought of her, but she did not want Mary to needlessly prolong those sessions. One session every two weeks was torture enough.

She leaned forward in her seat and tried her best to control her simmering temper as she reasoned, “Dr. Grove, how would you explain the rising crime wave? The inadequacy of the law enforcement system? The corruption of the judicial system? And the fact that parts of the city are totally controlled by syndicates and criminal organizations rather than a functional government body?”

Mary would not answer the questions. She just sat there waiting for Leslie to voice the one experience that was the source of this seething, yet somewhat controlled anger.

Realizing that she had revealed more than what she wished her therapist to find out, she stood up, turned her back to the middle-aged woman and began walking towards the window. Lesly took a couple of deep breaths and tried to think of way to handle what remained of the one-hour session. She wanted to leave that instant, but Michaela was waiting outside. Leaving would mean subjecting herself to the hellish nagging, crying and pleading that resulted in the guilt-ride that brought here in the first place. No, leaving was not an option, and apparently beating around the bush and answering questions with questions was not working either, especially since she was exhausted and sleep-deprived. What else was there to do?

Her eyes scanned the small garden through the window. The sound of children playing and laughing immediately caught her attention and had her search their surroundings for the source of their amusement. She soon found out that it was a small golden retriever running around the kids in circles and chasing after a toy they were holding. Something about the scene evoked a surge of emotions within her. She could not understand at first why the scene affected her so much, but she soon managed to put a name to the phenomenon…nostalgia…but that was not all there was to it. Something else was making her eyes burn. They were tearing up. The more she fought that, the harder her eyes pulsed. She tried to keep herself composed, but so many things were out of order right now that she could not keep track of everything. Something was bound to slip out.

Almost involuntarily, she found herself whispering, “Things would have been easier if he was around.”

“Who Lesly?”

“Christopher.”

“Your brother?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

What was there to talk about? The guy lived his whole life treating her like nothing but the family he always wanted, but she never returned the sentiment. She hated him at first because he was her father’s love child. Christopher was twelve when she first met him. He was four years younger than her. His mother had passed away when he was two and he spent the next ten years in the care of his maternal grandmother. Her father kept his existence a secret from her up until he could no longer do so. Christopher’s grandmother passed away and her father had no choice but to bring him over. What made it easier for her father to do so was the fact that her mother was no longer around, too. Her father only had one person’s feelings to worry about and those were hers. She spent the next year fully ignoring Christopher’s existence for her sanity’s sake up until the moment she went to college.

Lesly finally got to acknowledge Christopher as a brother when her father passed away. She had just graduated from college and she was trying to put herself through law school. The sight of Christopher weeping at her father’s funeral tore at her heart strings. She realized that Christopher had just lost the only family he knew. Their relationship grew from that point onward, but it was not long before it hit another hurdle along the way. She did not know whether it was the lack of guidance or the fact that he had been spoiled by everybody who cared for him throughout his life, but Christopher had grown up to be the most irresponsible person she had ever encountered. He could not keep himself in college and would not even bother looking for a job. His reason, of course, was that he did not need the money after he was finally granted access to the trust fund left to him by his maternal grandparent. Every encounter the two had followed the same routine course. She would criticize his irresponsible behaviour. He would call her a stuck-up a bitch, and then the two of them would keep their distance until he sought her out again. It was always him who initiated the contact, never her. He was the one who would call to check on her. He was the one who would arrange dinner appointments to meet her. He was the one who constantly called her office to plan things around her schedule. It was obvious that he loved her a great deal. She loved him, too, but for some reason, she was never capable of showing it, and now he was dead and his blood was on her hands alone.

Why didn’t she keep her mouth shut? If she had tried to reason with him rather than criticize and point his flaws every time she saw him, he would not have stormed out of her flat in anger and got himself killed in a car accident. Why did she do that? Why was she so harsh with him? She was an attorney and a damn excellent one. She should have been able to use her words in a more effective manner than that. Did she still resent him for being her father’s love child? Was that the real reason? Did she secretly want him dead? Did she even love him or was she lying to herself the entire time to make herself feel better? Maybe she deserved what happened to her, getting incarcerated, tortured, and raped. She should have died that day. She should not have been rescued.

“Lesly, what are you thinking?”

“Nothing,” Lesly answered in a small voice.

At this point, Mary could not help but sigh in frustration at her patient’s lack of cooperation. She placed the cap over her pen, put her notebook aside, took a deep breath, and tried to reason one more time, “Dear, I’m trying to help you. You are obviously suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. What you have been though is horrendous in every sense of the word. You have to open up.”

Still not convinced, Lesly asked, “What’s the point? It won’t erase the fact that it happened. It won’t erase the fact that I deserved it.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because I’m a horrible human being,” Lesly replied softly.

“Lesly, it is common for sexual assault victims to blame themselves. The most important thing to remember is that…”

“Did you not hear me? I deserved it,” Lesly interrupted, almost breaking down.

Mary tried to hold back from saying anything that would further enrage Lesly. She took a deep breath, tried to rearrange her thoughts, and then proceeded one more time to convince her patient to speak, “Lesly, perhaps you can help me understand the situation better by telling me exactly what happened.”

Lesly tried to calm herself down. She closed her eyes to keep the tears that were threatening to fall from falling, and counted to ten. She could handle this. She could power through if she wanted. She had done it before, and she could do it again.

She slowly walked back to her seat, sat down, then spoke softly, “I helped someone.”

“And?” Mary asked encouragingly.

“I paid dearly for it.”

[fantroll-purgatory]

@nxbulaholic

This is certainly one of the more unique profiles we’ve ever gotten… I like the flower flourishes, haha. A few things here… I’m not sure who Darcan is? You didn’t really clarify. I googled the name and all I came up with was this Broken–Pieces rp group? Which uses the same flower quirk that you do, so I’m assuming you’re working on a character for that! In fact it seems like you might’ve already submitted her? But that’s fine, we’ll get working. 

So the basics of this character are that she’s someone with anger in her heart. She seems guided by intellect, but she’s actually guided by emotions. She’s a conspiracy theorist, dodgy, and involves herself in drama…. Alright, I think I can work with that. 

Xamona Orcigo 

I’m sure it’s uncomfortable to get a name change suggestion for an established character, but maybe… Ustakl Krygaf. 

Ustakl functions as a reference to the Üst akıl (mastermind) conspiracy theory in Turkey, which expresses the belief that some external actor is attempting to systematically weaken and dismantle Turkey, up to implying that ripped jeans were a form of “code talking” and even that the external actor is responsible for the 2017 Turkish earthquake. 

Krygaf is a reference to the etymological root of Crytology. It would basically mean Code Creator, which is in a way a reference both to her conspiracy theorist nature And the title I’m going to later recommend for her (because she doesn’t read as a breath player to me). 

 Age - 8 sweeps

 Pronouns - She/Her

 Nicknames / Other known Names - Mona

I think this can stay even if you change her name, because- get this- Mona Lisa conspiracy theories? Surprisingly common. And ambiguity is a common theme around the Mona Lisa anyways. Maybe there was a troll Monalisa in the ancient times that is a famous painting today and she’s nicknamed after it because of some of the uncertainty surrounding her and her smile.

 Wriggling day - August 13th 

 Title - Mage of Breath

I want to make the argument that she’s a Sylph of Mind. She passively creates ideas from whole cloth by interpreting information in unique ways. She might be able to inspire action in others through these ideas and threads of logic that she’s creating. The people around her might be pushed to move in certain ways depending on the information she gathers and asserts. 

Her inverse would be Prince of Heart, which is also fitting. This inverse implies that she would destroy Through heart as well as destroy heart. She would actively use her emotions as a tool to smash with and would hurt other’s feelings in the process. Destroying all these feelings in the way thus inspires people to act in certain ways or come to certain conclusions, wrapping back around to her passively creating thought. 

Discourse also has a bit reputation with Romance Drama so her calling out her exes would be another way of Passively Creating Thought by actively destroying hearts. 

 Dreamer Class - Prospit

Considering her tendency to close off from others/not let people know her true colors, her involvement in a rebellion, her anger towards purples that presumably stems from her past, and her interest in discourse, I’d say she’s probably actually a derse dreamer!

 Symbol - 

Libus

 ~ Sign of the Vibrant

Which means I’ll be changing her sign to Libza, the Acute. I think this is a fitting title for her, because it means shrewd, but also means present in a painful or overbearing amount.

 Blood color - Teal 

I think she makes a really good teal. I think you should emphasize her ethical center, though!. Does she fundamentally believe people can’t change? If someone was called out 10 years ago will she continue to hold them in exile? Does she value a sense of moral superiority over the basic tenants of kindness and mutual respect? Is she one of those bloggers who is like, a total dick to people for no reason but never gets called out because she’s like, technically got good politics, but GOD she’s a dick? 

 Alignment - Darcan’s Rebellion 

You should definitely elaborate how she found out about him and why she decided to join in your backstory.

 Typing Style - all in lowercase and always uses prefered and more obtuse vocabulary, TYPES IN ALL CPAS WHEN PISSED OFF AND MAKES A FUCKTION OF SPELLING MISTAKES 

I’m sorry to say that this is kind of an overused quirk by this point, especially for characters with explosive tempers. I think if you want to make a character who co-opts the social justice scene for her own social benefit and to manufacture a feeling of self-worth, you should look at the communities of people online who Really Do That, those people who take the sjw language for themselves and mutate other community’s language and smash both into a condescending bullshit pile. 

Example: if you think goldbloods are just purple shills you. are. valid. unu

uhm okay you stupid fuckboy. purplebloods are inherently violent but go off i guess???? unu

OKAY LISTEN UP YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. YOUR HEMOELDER IS GONNA LEARN YOU A THING unu.

Use the ‘unu’ emoji at the end of every sentence and distort actual sj conventional speech as much as you can, basically. 

 Strife Specibi - taserkind

Edit: I really can’t stop thinking about this so I have to suggest it. You could also possibly have her have teakind as a backup? Like a literal cup of tea. For an “And that’s the tea” joke, of course. 

 Lusus - Quetza the 31st (a three headed snake lusii) 

Honestly can I recommend a two-faced golbat-like lusus? 

One of the uhhh bigger names in nasty inconceivable discourse right now has a golbat-themed blog (no namedrops here)- and there’s also the Leelah Alcorn scandal, orchestrated by the now deactivated user, Zubat. Seems like the zubat line is a little cursed by discourse >_>. golbats look like they’re Yelling so it’s great for a character like her who has a tendency to Erupt, and the two-faced nature implies her tendency to not present her True Self immediately. 

 Ancestor - Contessa Blackfin 

I don’t know much about the narrative story you’re going for here, but maybe she could’ve been killed by a purple?

 Personality - Xamona could usually be described as the type of person who would try logic and reason instead of violence, it’s actually the other way around when you get to know her. She has a deathly fear of Purplebloods and is basically racist towards that specific caste, she’s quite willing to go to extreme lengths to prove her points and is rather manipulative towards trolls who don’t know her true colors. If anything she could be compared to that of a conspiracy theorist.. or a Tumblr user with an extreme amount of history relating to discourse. 

I’m guessing things are more egalitarian between the castes of landdwellers in this au in order for the prejudice narrative to make sense? Because otherwise being wary of a class of people who’ve historically exploited yours and who have powers Specifically meant to keep lowbloods down while inside a totalitarian highbloods nation is kind of good sense. Just a little. 

Still though she’s such a dick I love this bad personality. I think she should be the type to hold a grudge and the type who accuses everyone of being out to get her.

Relationships - [TBA]

<strike>Nikalo - Is EXTREMELY suspicious of.</strike> 

 Strengths - 

- Xamona is very agile and could dodge enemy attacks with ease

- Despite her seemingly fragile figure, she could put up quite a fight with those of higher blood than her

Keep in mind that her being a teal is starting to dip into the blueblood range, so she’ll be naturally stronger than Jades and below. 

Also, make her someone who’s really good at preparedness. If she’s paranoid, make her someone who’s already ready for an attack. Make her the kind of person that when she walks in a room, she’s already thinking, “Where are all the exits? What can I hide under? What could I use as a weapon?” This helps her avoid situations where she’s backed into a corner- and makes it all the scarier when she IS helpless.

 Weaknesses -

- If you get her to talk about her plans, she’ll keep talking and talking.. 

- If she’s cornered, Xamona will be at her weakest when it comes to fighting back

 Backstory - [TBA]

Hmmmmm, maybe you could make her have romance drama with a purple that ended in a little bit of turmoil? Some eye-scarring turmoil? 

 Quote - “CALL ME A HIPSERT ONE MORE FUCKING TIME.”

 Voice - 

Mahiru Koizumi

 Themesong - 

Into the Basement

Design: 

There really wasn’t a lot I felt the need to edit. I gave her horns that look more like her new symbol. I know this au isn’t especially concerned with canon compliance, but blind eyes are bright red from what we’ve seen! So I edited it to that. And I moved her symbol and changed it to the new one. We’ve seen that on Alternia, symbols always appear in blood color and never another color, even a neutral one. 

I also did a new ref sheet? 

Though not much changed there.

Thank you for sharing!

-CD