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nalgenewhore · 4 years

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Slipping Through My Fingers - Eight

masterlist - ao3 - last chapter - next chapter

warnings: angst, cemetery

an: ummm u kno wut, maybe it is not actually fun, fresh, or cool! maybe it is in fact not fun, stale, and warm? anyhoozles.

The rolling hills, bright with vibrant green grass and dotted with squares of various rocks, went on forever. It was silent - a respectful quiet for what everyone went there for.

Lorcan carried a subdued Kohana, who held his favourite stuffed hippo - named Robert - tightly in one hand and sucked on his thumb. It was an old habit that seldom arose. Father and son recognized some of the regulars they shared this day with. Son chose to hide his face in his father’s shoulder while father nodded a tight greeting, grief clear in the lines of his body.

A short while later, Lorcan set Kohana down and they walked hand in hand through the neat rows of meticulously cared for headstones until they reached a black stone one, a bouquet of dark red peonies already resting atop of it.

That was something that Lorcan had liked when he was… researching cemeteries. What a cruel and twisted thing, so morbid. But Lorcan had liked this one. They cleaned the headstones all once a week and left a bouquet of flowers on them when the anniversaries came along. She had always loved peonies, loved how fluffy they were. Her absolute favourites were the tiare blossoms of her home, but the tropical blooms were rare in the cold climate of northern Terrasen.

Kohana dropped Lorcan’s hand and ran the last few steps, sitting down cross-legged on the plush grass. Lorcan remained a little while away, turning around so Kohana could have his own time.

His ears picked up the melodic tongue of her home that tumbled so effortlessly from their son’s mouth. Lorcan wanted to cry, so unbelievably thankful for his son - for having the ability to speak that language. Both of theirs. It was a blessing, truly. Eventually, Kohana came running back, telling Lorcan he was going to go exploring.

He began to roam, not too far and always in sight after Lorcan told him to keep off the other headstones. It took a deep breath and the feeling of his wedding band on his left hand for Lorcan to take those last few steps and sit down, picking at the grass.

He didn’t say a word for a long time, just reading the engravings.

August 30, 1995 - October 15, 2016

Beloved Mother. Wife. Sister. Friend.

Her entire life, twenty-one years summed up in five fucking words.

Lorcan’s eyes welled up and he reached his hand out, tracing her name. Essar Tangaroa.

With a smile, his tears spilling down his cheeks, he whispered, in his less-than perfect Bogdano, “Hey, babe. I miss you.” He sniffed, looking down at his hands. “Ko misses you too. So do Fen, Con, V, Ro… Mia too. Everyone. Emrys made your favourites.” He pulled out a pastry bag from the canvas tote he’d brought, filled with things to occupy their child. “Oatmeal raisin. Still don’t get how on earth you like oatmeal and raisin, but I guess that’ll be one of life’s many mysteries, huh?”

He caught her up on everything, stumbling when he got to the topic of Elide. Turning his wet eyes to the skies, Lorcan said, “I know you’re laughing right now. You’ve always delighted in my misery. You’d like her and I bet you’re insanely jealous she slept with my dumb ass cause she’s completely your type.” Lorcan laughed and almost ducked to avoid the hand Essar would’ve no doubt slapped upside his head, but it didn’t come.

That sobered him and he straightened, tears still steadily falling. “She’s really good for Ko. And Esther, that girl is the best. Still the same bubbly little kid she always was. She and Ko are ‘bestest friends ever’. Oh, you know what’s the fucking weirdest shit ever?” Nobody replied and Lorcan wasn’t sure if he’d been waiting for it. “Rowan’s dating this girl named Aelin - perfect for each other and I hate it when they’re happy but whatever - and guess who her sister is? Yeah, fucking Elide!”

“Até! Bad word! No bad words,” scolded Kohana, frowning fiercely as he stomped over and sat himself in Lorcan’s lap, in the cradle Lorcan’s criss-cross-applesauce legs made. “Hi, Mama. I would like you to come back, please.” Kohana’s voice wavered and he sniffled. “Please, come back. I want my mama back.”

The lump regrew in Lorcan’s throat and he used every gram of willpower in his body, willing himself not to cry as Kohana started to, his small frame shaking with the force of it. Lorcan could only discern ‘come back’ through Kohana’s sobs and he hugged the little one closer, feeling his child turn in his arms and cry into his hoodie. “I just want mama back.”

“I know, baby.” He kissed the top of Ko’s head, rubbing his back as he quieted, only hiccupping now.

“Mama’s never coming back.” It was a statement, just a fact. “I don’t like that.”

Lorcan found it in himself to smile, whispering, “I don’t like it either.”

They remained there for a while, eventually joined by a handful of people. Dresenda walked up, taking Kohana into her arms. Lorcan watched them interact, watched his son’s eyes grow misty and watched as he ran back to Lorcan, asking if they could go now. He said yes, waiting as Kohana said good-bye to Essar.

Kohana turned and waved shyly, then he turned back to Lorcan and away they went. The five-year old was passed out by the time Lorcan had carried him to the truck and buckled him in. Lorcan drove in silence away from the cemetery, making his way back to the main roads and away, hating that it felt like every time he came here that he was leaving a new shred of his heart with her.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

The bell for lunch rang and Elide herded her little students to the cubby room, telling them that even though it was sunny today, it was still a bit chilly and they needed to grab their jackets and coats.

Esther needed help tugging her wool sweater over her curly-haired head but other than that, everyone was ready to go. Despite the absence of Kohana, his bestest friend seemed to be in a relatively alright mood as she raced outside with a good-bye shouted over her shoulder. The others quickly followed her, all clambering to be first outside.

Sighing, Elide turned back to get her phone as Nehemia popped her head inside. “Ready for lunch?”

“You know it,” Elide replied, getting her long wool coat and slipping her arms through the sleeves. “Where do you want to eat?”

The school that they worked at was located in a quiet pocket of downtown Orynth, which meant that they had plenty of options within walking distance. Nehemia hummed in consideration, “I don’t know, I’m really craving something hot. Maybe a sandwich too.”

“Ooh, that sounds good,” Elide said, shivering slightly as they walked outside and were hit with a gust of chilly wind. “Do you want to just go to the cafe, then?”

Nehemia nodded, waving at a few of her students, “Yeah, that sounds good.” She looped her arm through Elide’s and tucked herself in closer. “Gods, it’s freezing.”

Elide laughed, “It’s barely even fall, Mia. You’ve lived here for years, how are you not used to it!”

“I’m a delicate Eyllwe blossom, I can’t be out here in this weather,” Nehemia pouted.

“Yeah, you need your big strong man to warm you up.”

Nehemia wiggled her brows, smiling wickedly, “Oh, in more ways than one, my dearest.” She cackled as Elide made a face and shook her head.

“I really walked right into that one,” she grumbled, her face changing into a smile as she waved at Esther, who was occupying herself on the swings, going higher and faster with every pass.

“No Kohana today? Poor Esther,” Nehemia commented, catching the way Elide’s face fell. “What happened? Did you sleep with Lorcan again?” she joked, nudging Elide with her elbow. When Elide didn’t answer, Nehemia gasped, “You did?”

Elide shook her head, “No, but we kissed. In the gods-damned cubby.”

“When?”

“Last night. After the Parent-Teacher thing.” Elide rested her head on Nehemia’s shoulder. “I stopped it.”

“But you didn’t want to.”

“No, I didn’t want to.” They walked out of the school grounds, making their way down the sidewalk. “It… it just feels like we should’ve been more. I walked out and he walked out and it felt so… ordinary.” If she wanted any ending, it was harsh words and anger, after something long and true. Screaming, tears - anything was better than the two of them letting go.

Nehemia gave her a snug hug, “I’m sorry. But are you sure that was your ending? What’s stopping you from going for it?”

“Everything. We just can’t.”

+*+*+*+*+*+*

It was getting late and Kohana was barely awake. Lorcan pushed the plate of cut up pancakes his way, “C’mon, just five bites, ok?”

Kohana sighed and put Robert, his stuffed hippo, to the side. “Ok, Dad.” Dresenda, sitting beside him in the corner booth, chuckled and wisely ate her own waffles, knowing Kohana would be quick to glare at her uneaten food. Kid’s got the best glare in the game, a fierce and menacing frown that no one would expect from such a sweetie.

They were sitting in an old diner, one they’d gone to for years - just Lorcan and Essar, and eventually Kohana too. They’d had a busy day after going to see Essar at around noon, then going to the beach where Kohana hunted for treasure. Dresenda had met up with them again, red-eyed as she played with Kohana and sat in silence with Lorcan.

Kohana munched on steadily, finishing his five bites before shoving the plate away. “Done. All done.”

The two adults smiled and Dresenda gave him a high five, “Good job, kiddo.” Kohana giggled and babbled on as the adults finished their food, picking up Robert and playing around with him while Lorcan went to pay.

Kohana and Dresenda walked up to wait at the counter beside Lorcan as he settled the tab. “Ready to go home, até,” Kohana said sleepily, hugging his stuffy to his side with one arm as he rubbed his big brown eyes with his other fist.

Lorcan chuckled and picked him up, propping him on his side. “Yeah, you had a big day today, huh?”

Nodding, Kohana rested his cheek on Lorcan’s shoulder and waved good-bye to Dresenda. “Bye-bye, Dee-Dee.”

“See ya, kid,” she quipped, giving a two-fingered salute as she walked out to her motorcycle and shortly after drove off into the night.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

“No no no,” Elide whined as her car started sputtering. “C’mon, girlie, we’re so close to home!” They weren’t - she’d gone to the good night market after her friend from college, Asterin, had called her during a twelve-hour layover on her way home to the Witch City. They’d gotten food from the stalls and spent a few hours catching up before parting ways.

It seemed her pleas weren’t enough and she turned her blinkers on as she turned onto the shoulder of the highway, cursing herself in Blackbeak. She sighed and waited until it was safe to get out of her car, walking to the trunk to get her toolkit.

She walked back to the engine and leaned through her open window, popping the pedal for the hood. Rolling up her sleeves, she lifted the hood and put her hands on her hips, staring down at the engine. “Alright, Bets. What’s wrong?”

Elide felt a wave of heat coming off the engine, as well as a puff of steam, greater than it would normally be. She groaned in frustration and put her hair up, knowing it was the coolant reservoir leaking again.

With an old car like hers, it cracked a lot and Elide had a feeling she wouldn’t be able to patch it up and get on with it. “Oh, fuck it all!” she yelled, remembering that the only mechanic she knew was Lorcan. “I am not happy with you,” Elide hissed at her car, narrowing her eyes as she unzipped her toolkit and took out a pair of pliers to switch off the battery. “Don’t want to get electrocuted today, no sir.”

Elide got to work, making do with what she could just so she could get home. It was a Friday, which meant she would have the whole day tomorrow to bring Betsy in to the mechanic’s.

She was humming a song she’d been using in her classroom to teach boundaries, physical and otherwise - she couldn’t help it, they were ridiculously catchy, when a truck pulled off to the side. Elide froze, subtly grabbing the heaviest wrench she could and stepping out beside the driver’s door, just so she wouldn’t be caged in with nowhere to go. A hulking figure climbed out of the truck, “Hey. You ok?”

Oh, fuck it all. No, there was no way this was real right now. Elide scowled up at the skies, asking her gods, What did I do to deserve this? “Hi, Lorcan.”

He stopped, a hand lifting up to rub his brow, “Elide?”

“Yep. Coolant reservoir gave out again,” she said while gesturing with her wrench towards her car. Lorcan raised a brow at the too-large tool, approaching warily. Elide huffed a laugh, “I didn’t know who you were and I can’t take any chances. You know, being a woman and all.”

“I fucking hate men,” he said under his breath. “D’you mind if I take a look?”

“Please, be my guest,” she said, moving out of the way so he could see. Lorcan nodded and rolled up his sleeves and her mouth definitely did not water at the sight of his sinewy forearms, bronze skin marked with black tribal ink.

Elide leaned back against her door and crossed her arms, trying so hard to not blurt out why Kohana hadn’t been at school and why he hadn’t said a thing. Lorcan tinkered around for a few minutes and then stood up, wiping his hands on the rag she passed him. “I don’t think you should drive… Betsy, that’s her name, right?”

Laughing, Elide nodded and he smiled, “Ok, so, it’s not safe for you to drive her home, from the looks of it it’s been leaking for a while. I can, um, I can give you a ride home if you want.”

“Oh. Ok. Yeah, that’d be great,” she said, slowly packing up her things and grabbing her purse and keys.

“I’ll get the tow truck out here tomorrow and you can pop over tomorrow.”

“Perfect.” It was really anything but, but she could handle a half hour ride in an enclosed vehicle with him, right? That was a silly question, of course she could. She was an adult, so was he, they could be professional.

Lorcan led the way to his truck and, like a perfect gentleman, opened and closed her door for her. Elide looked around and saw Kohana seated in a booster seat, head rolled to the side as he slept. She had a feeling the only thing that was keeping him from falling to the floor was the seatbelt. He was so cute, his chubby cheeks rosy, his thick lashes brushing against his face.

Lorcan swung himself into his seat and turned the car on with his right hand, using his left to grab his seatbelt and click it into space. A flash of silver caught her attention and she turned her gaze to his left hand, noticing he was wearing a silver band on his ring finger. Elide remembered that band, recalled how it had hung from a chain during their one-night tryst.

He must’ve felt her staring as he let a car pass before pulling back onto the road. “Is there something wrong?”

Elide felt her cheeks flush at being caught and shook her head, “No, no, it’s, um, you didn’t wear your… ring. Before, you wore it on a chain.”

Stiffening slightly, Lorcan nodded, tight-lipped. “Yeah, I wear it on the anniversary. Of my wife’s passing.” He didn’t offer anymore than that and Elide felt her stomach drop. She shouldn’t have said anything. As if sensing that she was looking for a way to shove her foot in her mouth, Lorcan spoke again, “That’s why Ko wasn’t at school today - I told the office, but I guess they didn’t tell you?”

“No, they- they didn’t. I’m sorry for your loss,” she said, offering condolences. She knew how those words sounded, had heard them so often in the years following her parents’ death but… she truly meant them. “Really, I know how those words sound, but I mean them. No one deserves pain like that.”

They looked at each other, like recognizing like. A soft snort interrupted the moment and they both looked into the back, where Kohana was slowly waking up. He blinked, rubbing his wide eyes with his fist. Kohana startled when he saw Elide and smiled shyly, “Hi-hi.”

“Hey, Kohana. It’s nice to see you,” she said, waving at him. “How are you?”

“Sleepy,” he yawned, grabbing what appeared to be a stuffed hippopotamus. “This is Robert. He my hippo-po.”

Elide chuckled, “Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Robert. Did you guys have a good day today?”

Kohana nodded slowly, his face growing sad, “Yup. Saw mama and auntie D and went to the beach. I hunted-ed for treasure.”

“Oh, wow, really? What did you find?”

“No treasure, but I sawed a jellyfish. Dad told me it was a moon one. It looked like see-through jello,” he told her, yawning once again. “Then we had pancakes at the diner.”

“Pancakes? I’m more of a waffles gal myself.”

“Dad too. He doesn’t like pancakes.” His eyes drooped and his head bobbed. Slowly, Kohana fell asleep again and snored gently.

Lorcan looked in the rearview mirror and smiled at the sight, asking Elide quietly, “So, what’s your address?”

“Oh, no, you should get Kohana to bed first. I can just get a cab or something from your place - it’s really no problem,” Elide insisted. Lorcan hesitated, but then he glanced back at Kohana and relented.

“Thanks, he’s had a full day,” he said, turning onto the exit and then to the street that would take them to his neighbourhood.

They fall into a semi-comfortable silence, listening to the radio. It wasn’t long before they pulled up in front of a quaint, two storey house. It had a porch that went along half of the front and wrapped onto the right side. The other half of the front was taken up by large bay windows and most of the other sides of the house had huge windows, no doubt letting the sun and natural light just spill in.

The yard was a decent size and well maintained, a gorgeous garden with every flower imaginable beneath the bay windows, a trellis with jasmine, she assumed, snaking up between the windows and the porch.

Elide climbed out of the truck and waited while Lorcan carefully gathered Kohana up in his arms, carrying the sleeping child up the front stairs. Kohana woke up and wiggled to be put down once they reached the front door. Lorcan unlocked the door and Kohana pushed it open, carefully taking off his shoes before running off inside to the open-floored area as Lorcan paused, turning to Elide. “Do you want… a drink or something?”

“Oh, sure. That’d be nice,” she said, nodding as Lorcan ushered her in. Elide took in her surroundings, the stairway directly to her right that went up and then turned to the left, disappearing to the next floor. She slipped off her shoes and looked at the living room and kitchen, taking in the lived-in space. It was cozy and warm here.

Kohana came pattering back, precariously holding a fluffy cat under its arms. The cat seemed to resentfully accept its fate and looked to Elide with a deadened expression. “Oh, um, hi! Who’s this, Kohana?”

“Tigger! He’s my kitty! Dad doesn’t like Tigger and Tigger doesn’t like Dad,” he informed her, bending his head down to kiss the top of Tigger’s head. “He was my mama’s kitty.”

Elide chuckled and approached the duo, “You know, I’m more of a dog person myself. But I love kitties as well.” She reached out and softly petted Tigger’s head. “What a nice kitty.”

Kohana nodded and smiled brightly, his cheeks dimpling. “He’s my bestest friend.” Elide smiled and startled as Kohana’s eyes widened and his mouth popped open. “Oh, no! No, Essie’s my bestest friend. Don’t tell her I said that, ok?”

Elide nodded seriously, “I promise.”

Kohana looked at her warily, shifting the cat to one arm. Good gods, Elide had to stifle the urge to take the cat away from him, Tigger looked like he was begging her for help. “Pinky promise?” Kohana asked, holding his pinky up.

Elide chuckled again and hooked her pinky around his, “Pinky promise, I won’t tell Esther.”

Lorcan, who had been watching the exchange with something fond and soft in his eyes, cut in, “Prince, why don’t you go put Tigger down and go get your PJ’s on, yeah?”

“Kay-Kay, até,” Kohana said, smiling sweetly before turning and speeding away to put Tigger down on one of the armchairs. They matched the black leather couch and were situated before the floor-to-ceiling bookshelf.

“He’s so cute,” Elide said, toying with the butterfly pendant on her necklace. Lorcan smiled, a genuine smile, and ducked his head.

“Thanks. He’s honestly my favourite person alive,” Lorcan said and they both walked in further, their arms bumping as they both moved at the same time. Elide let him go first and trailed behind him. The little one pushed past them on his way up to his room, going as quickly as he could.

Lorcan motioned for her to seat herself at the island bar as he went to the cupboard and got two glasses. “What can I get you?”

“Water’s fine,” she said, clasping her hands on the butcher block countertop. Lorcan nodded and opened the fridge to grab the pitcher of cold water, filling her glass to halfway and placing it before her.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” he said, nodding once before he walked away.

Elide took her glass and stepped onto the floor, looking to snoop around. Her eyes went to the fireplace mantle, trailing over the framed photos. Most of them were of Kohana and Lorcan, as well as a smiling woman. Elide recognized the ta moko* marking her lips and chin, the traditional body art of the Bogdano people.

She had the same light brown eyes as Kohana did and Lorcan always seemed to look at her with an awed expression. Utterly beautiful, she was a petite, raven-haired beauty with warm brown skin. She seemed like the sun incarnate.

Her attention was locked on one photo of the woman - her brow furrowed in concentration as she cut a wave in two, more traditional ink marking her outstretched arms, looking one with the sapphire blue waters on top of her board when two little feet padded down the stairs. “Elide?”

She turned and smiled at Kohana, “Hi, Kohana. I was looking at the pictures. Is this your mom?”

Kohana smiled brightly and nodded, running over to her side. “Yeah, that’s my momma.” He sat down on the thick carpet in front of the TV, opening the cupboard and dragging out a thick photo album. “More pit-churs in here. Come-come, sit-sit.”

Elide obliged him and sat down cross-legged next to him as he opened the album on his stretched out legs. “See, this is my kōkara. She’s not here anymore but she misses me and loves me very much, you know.”

She nodded, smiling as he gushed about his mother, pointing to all of the pictures. He talked and talked, until they had flipped to the last page, where there was a photo of Lorcan and the same sunshiny woman. Lorcan was carrying her on his back and she had her arms raised, her face tilted to the sun as she smiled. Lorcan was smiling too, his eyes crinkled against the sun.

“Mama’s favourite colour is blue, like the Oro sea. That’s where she did surfing,” Kohana told her, carefully closing the album and putting it away. He stood up, picking at the hem of his pajamas. They were pale blue with otters on them. “I miss my mama.”

Elide stood as well and grabbed her left wrist, rubbing her thumb over the raven tattoo she’d gotten for her mother. “I miss my mama too.” She felt someone’s gaze on her and turned around, spotting Lorcan leaning against the bookshelf, looking at her with something too heavy for her so she looked away. She’d never seen someone’s eyes hold that much depthless sadness.

She suddenly found the wood grain of the mantle very interesting as Lorcan said, “Ko, you ready for bed?”

“Yup!” Kohana ran off to Lorcan, launching himself into his father’s arms. “Night-night, Elide.”

That had her turning and offering what she hoped was a gentle smile. Off of her student’s confused expression, it was anything but. “Goodnight, Kohana. It’s pretty late, I should go.”

“Dad,” Kohana whispered, only it was way too loud and Elide graciously pretended she couldn’t hear him. “Can we have a sleepover? Like with Essie!”

It was out of her control when her head snapped up and Lorcan stiffened, looking at her dead in the eyes as he swallowed and said, his voice ragged, “No, Elide’s gonna sleep at her house. We’ll see her tomorrow, for her car, ok?”

“Oh. Ok. Bye-bye, Elide.”

“Bye, Kohana. Thank you for showing me,” Elide lamely gestured towards the closed cupboard and the photo album behind it. “It was nice.”

Kohana smiled, unaware of the awkwardness settling over them. Elide had never been more keenly aware of the amount of distance between her and another human. “See you tomorrow.”

She repeated the phrase as Lorcan carried him upstairs and Elide moved to the front door, quickly grabbing her things, putting on her jacket and slipping out the door after putting her shoes on. She couldn’t… she couldn’t deal with saying good-bye to Lorcan, for the umpteenth time. Every time she said it, he was shoved back into her life and this burgeoning feeling of friendly familiarity couldn’t happen anymore.

Lorcan was the parent of her student. Lorcan was her sister’s boyfriend’s brother. Lorcan was her mechanic. Lorcan was the guy she’d had a one night stand with. Emphasis on one night.

They were not friends, they were not lovers, they were nothing more than acquaintances.

Elide wiped away tears as she latched the front gate shut behind her and cursed herself for them. They were barely together. Nothing they did merited her tears. Or anyone’s, for that matter.

She was walking down the sidewalk when she heard a low voice call her name. “Elide.”

Despite the voice in her head that was telling her to keep her head down and keep walking, Elide turned, seeing Lorcan standing at the top of his front steps. “Yes?” Something akin to grief rippled through his dark irises and he swallowed once.

“Her name was Essar.”

+*+*+*+*+*+*

an: *Ta Moko is the traditional tattooing of the Maori people! You can learn more here and here and here (video)

@mythicaitt @tinywolfofeyllwe @schmlip-scribble @the-regal-warrior @empire-of-wildfire @rhysands-highlady @shyvioletcat @alifletcher2012 @ttakeitbacknoww @tswaney17 @ourbooksuniverse @flora-and-fae @thesirenwashere @queenofxhearts @maastrash @mynewdreamwasyou @cursebreaker29 @superspiritfestival @empress-ofbloodshed @queen-of-glass @sleeping-and-books @beccasophia95 @exersize-me-i-dare-u @thewayshedreamed @hizqueen4life @ifinallygavein @bat-wing-rhys @awkward-avocado-s @b00kworm @mu-si-ca-l @lovemollywho @tacmc @soitsgorgeous @staarligght

#slipping through my fingers #stmf chapter eight #elorcan #elide x lorcan #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #kohana #isa writes #nalgenewhore #hehe it'll all be FINNE don't EVEN worry guys #like srsly don't it's all very cool

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hobidreams · 3 years

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December 1871

Firstly I’m so glad I have emojis to take you through EXACTLY what faces I made while reading this.

Second of all YOU REALLY HAD A CHAPTER ABOUT THE NEW QUEEN COMING IN AND GETTING ADVICE ON HOW TO GET PREGNANT???? You really know how to twist the knife, Rain. My heart breaks for our OC. Again. The second I realized it was her I made a fist. I was ready to fight lmao.

Why did this line literally make me feel like the queen was trying to be smug? “Oh, it’s no bother. Walking improves my health. Besides, here is only a short distance from jeonha’s chambers.” My face went 😒 like bitch we know. Chill.

When she said she was still not with child I went 😏 because she feels like a failure. And that may be harsh but like sorry I hate her. She is all wrong. She shouldn’t be there. She shouldn’t be married to the king. She shouldn’t be sleeping with him. She shouldn’t be trying get pregnant.

“I’ve been in fine health. Otherwise, I would have come to you earlier, no?” Ummm excuse me? Why are you such a bitch? She’s asking you valid questions. Hop off dude. (I’m not tearing apart your writing. This part is actually really good. It’s just firing me up! I hate the queen so much!!!!)

And this horrendous line “Hmm. I suppose I’ll just have to help him relax then.” I made the only appropriate face 😡 BITCH NO. Only OC can truly do that.

Also who do you think you are italicizing “on jeonha’s behalf”???? DO NOT DO THAT TO ME AS IF SHE SPEAKS FOR HIM. I do not accept those words from the queen. Not one bit.

Seriously OC is an absolute badass for being able to get through all of this shit so strong. Like I would be broken down sobbing every day if I were her. She is incredible. She’s my hero. An absolute goddess.

Anyways, hope the queen never gets pregnant and dies from some horrible disease and we can move on from this nightmare because yoongi belongs with oc! ✌🏼😃

babe!! this modern miracle of emojis hahaha 💞

omg i cant believe u actually had a fist ready. i love that so much. words cant express it. the queen is definitely trying to be smug here. she’s so careful with her words, knowing how to play the political game well. ofc that should be expected of her as the queen but POOR OC doesnt give a damn about that stuff!

ahahahah THE POWER OF ITALICS. I WILL EMPHASIZE WHAT I WANT!!! even if it hurts us more 💔 thank you so much for this (and for you know what 😉) we’ll have to see if your predictions come true, yea?

#rain reply #idkijustlovebts #moonlit throne

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stovmborn-arc · 3 years

Text

get to know the mun ! repost, don’t reblog.

——— 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒.

(PEN)NAME : sharna

PRONOUNS : she / her

ZODIAC SIGN : scorpio ( promise we aren’t all bad )

TAKEN OR SINGLE : taken !!! altho my bf is more like a child

——— 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒.

i am the mother of cats. i have two lil fur babies who are honestly ignorant, naughty & timid little shit bags but they are my children. their names are sparkle & misty, we also wanna eventually rescue a black male and name him storm. drogo was my first choice but ...... storm goes with the other kitties and kinda honours * jon snow voice * my queen

ummm, i actually have a bachelors degree in media arts so i went on to study film & television at university but i am yet to do anything. my dream was to become a producer until i realised how much work really goes into that kinda stuff and i’d have to move away from my small city home which i love so that kinda went out the window and now idk

i bought my first house at the ripe age of 21 which is just madness. so we reserved it sep 2019 and then got the keys dec 2019 and have spent forever tryna make it our first lil home. most of the major jobs are now done, except the garden but honestly buying your first house is a PROCESS and a bloody tough on at that but u know ... we move

——— 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄.

i have sorta been in and out of rp for years now. i remember, i used to write on tumblr when i was like 12 / 13 which is ..... really kinda scary thinking about it. when i was 17, i got back into roleplay and ended up joining a group with the nicest of people ( some of who i still speak to now ). i worked my way up to becoming a moderator and then an admin, then poured my heart and soul into a revamp but i think the longer i spent there, i just got a bit bummed out by strict rules and having to set an example as head admin when i could hardly follow them myself with university and working a full time job. i did leave eventually and came over to indie where i took my lil fire cracker as oc. just recently made her a blog because i found my long lost love @asynjja / @indizien and got hit right in the feels with this rollercoaster plot we had going. i then started adding game of thrones muses to that multi, switched it out for solely a game of thrones multi, then made daenerys & margaery their own separate blogs but marg moo is hibernating

——— 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄.

i have a soft spot in my heart for cripples, bastards & broken things. nah, i’m kidding but most of my characters have legit always been BROKEN !!! i’ve always had this thing for powerful woman who are inspiring, a lil wild and just stand out characters. so aside from dany, i’ve also written sansa, arya, cersei and margaery but i just never really resonated with them in the way that i did with daenerys. i feel like because i started watching game of thrones when there were only 3 seasons out, that i really watched her grow and just came to love her even more. she stands for freedom, justice, equality and tbh .... that’s the stuff i stand for too. she’s a passionate fiery lil thing and i think i can relate to that on quite a few levels, which is why i’ve opted for the characters that i have in the past. i could really do with reviving marg ( @rosebeavty ) but my muse here is far too strong. once i become hooked on a certain character, i find it difficult to place my muse and interest elsewhere so sorry guys but ur stuck with me for a lil while

——— 𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅 / 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓 / 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓.

FLUFF : i do have a few fluffy threads but i’m the kinda person who tends to .... add a lil bit too much spice in a quest to find out how much pain i can inflict on daenerys, myself and my writing partners. that being said, i do love soft & mushy things whether it’s shippy stuff or familial / platonic because who doesn’t deserve a lil love here n there ??

ANGST : as mentioned above, angst always somehow makes its way into my threads. sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally. listen, all i’m sayin is .... i can’t control what these fingers do and by writing with me, you are signing your heart away to probs be hella damaged because that’s just what i do. give me the angst, give me things we can develop / progress as we write together. if you wanna break my heart, TRY ME

SMUT : god, i’m a nervous wreck when it comes to smut. don’t get me wrong, i adore plotting out lil headcanons and writing it but i genuinely can’t remember the last time i wrote it, so i feel rusty af. that being said, i love me some spice so throw me in the deep end and i’ll eventually start swimming. i do love a good lil bit of smut but never know what words to use and overthink it bc i don’t want my writing to sound harsh / crass but also don’t wanna be pretentious and start referring to things as the vaguest of metaphors lol

PLOT / MEMES : i am down for carrying on a thread from an ask meme. please, if u wanna carry on a meme i’ve done for you ---- go for it even if we have 90 other things going or have never interacted before. as for plotting, sometimes my brain goes DEAD but i’m always willing to work with my partners and i think sometimes, just screaming & yelling ideas at each other is the best way to come up with a beautiful chaos.

tagged by : stolen from the wonderful & crazy nina on @wldflwers tagging : @snowbrn, @multusxcastalides, @kinginthcsouth, @mlfns, @luxfurem, @ofasshai, @highvishorror & whoever wants in !!! tag me so i can see your answers

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hanawrites404 · 4 years

Text

Wynne's Cottagecore Diary - Flower Crowns With Julian

(@pieniharmaakani this is for the cottagecore list you challenged us with. Enjoy my amateur writing lol)

"Ahhh this is amazing. Just me, you and the lovely flowers and grass" the red-haired fool spoke inbetween as he took my hand in his and kissed my knuckles tenderly. I was sitting on the ground and he had his head on my lap.

"That's really sweet of you honey but, can you please not interrupt me from enjoying the nature and fucking sleep already?" I smiled down at him innocently, even if the way of my speech said otherwise.

"Oh" he let go of my hand, blushing a bit from chagrin.

"M-My apologies. Y-You took me here for me to relax right? Then I shall definitely obey my lovely blue lady" his grinned at me shamelessly again while I just chuckled and caressed his deep red hair, rolling my eyes.

"Whatever. Now sleep. You deserve it" I locked back my eyes with his, softening my gaze on him. I was just being too harsh on him even though we both came here just for the sake of him to get a decent rest from work. I literally had to drag him by his long arm outside the gardens and away from his paperwork.

Because Julian is the type of guy who knows that he needs to rest but doesn't do so on purpose..........

And he would only listen if you compel that thing on him strong enough................

Such a submissive fucking idiot he is.............

"Yes ma'am" Julian smirked at me and I slapped his cheek lightly, earning an equally brazen yet pleasant chuckle from him. I could feel his throat's vibrations on my thighs as it formed light goosebumps on the skin in response.

Julian shifted a bit for a better comfortable position on my lap and closed his eyes, his lips relaxing a little from the cocky smirk he pridefully always wears. His hot breath hit my bare thighs yet once again forming goosebumps more prominently.

I sighed from relaxation and leaned back, my hand supporting my weight. Julian had himself facing my stomach and one of his hand caressing my waist and the other one entwined with mine. He wasn't wearing his gloves today, for which I was glad because I was desperate to feel his fingers on mine without the rubber coming inbetween.

His long fingers were an odd pleasure to hold onto for some reason. His pleasant skin and grip on mine were enough to make me lose myself to him. In fact, everything about him is just........ magnificent. Earlier I was not like this. I was cold and harsh, barely looking forward to happiness and joy.

But after I met this......... creature, everything changed in me.

It felt like a dead flower blooming again, inside of me. It felt as if he had casted a spell of positivity and cheer through my body, reviving it to its best, and getting me out from my trauma.

It all felt new.......

It all felt like I was loved......

By him.......................

Something which had been lifeless coming back the breathe is something called as very adnormal and impossible. But the being on my lap seemed to have accomplished it without doing anything. Except showing me love, affection and care. Something which I didn't know I needed all along.

He somehow knows everything about me.....

And I know about him too.........

Was this perhaps..........connection??

"Upsy-daisy!" I felt the familiar deep voice from down exclaiming and something fluffy yet heavy being thrown and landing perfectly on my head.

Like a wreath or a crown...........

"Hmm? What is it?" I felt whatever that was resting on my head with my fingers and there were soft petals broader from the middle and narrowing further down. I touched more above and I could feel a big circle of pollen. I could see some yellow in front of my eyes and this made me realise what exactly were on my head.

"Sunflowers??" I looked at Julian with slight astonishment, my hand still on my head.

"Bingo!" He winked at me, his charming smile gracing me with fluttering butterflies in my stomach.

"And shouldn't you be asleep??" I asked him next with an eyebrow raised. This time the question was not harsh. It was rather of curiousity.

"U-Ummm....W-Well......." As expected, Julian's cheeks turned bright red as he turned away from me, mumbling something in his native language I believe. Ugh for fuck sake can he be not so stammering for 5 minutes at the least?

Nevertheless, I sighed and shook my head. Obviously I was pissed as to why he was still not passed out but it was nothing compared to the surprise I was feeling from the flower crown he somehow magically prepared and gifted me with. Because I didn't know that he possessed such a skill.

"Hey Ilya" I called out to him. He had now shifted his body away from my stomach. His gaze was at the grass down my knees. It was clearly visible that he was trying to avoid me.

"Ilyushka~" I called again in a sing-song voice. This made him glance at me for a second and then go back to admiring the green blades. The blush was still eminent on his face.

I sighed once more, tired of his shyness already. Seriously this man gets all timid always at the worst times.

I cupped his face from below and pushed it towards me. This finally made him look completely at me and nowhere else because of my hand affixed firmly yet gently on his cheek.

"W-Wynne......I-I am sorry that I didn't listen to you.......I-I promise I am sleeping now right away!! P-Please forgive me........I just got..... distracted a bit" His eyes were literally going haywire by how his grey pupils were shifting from one point to another. It showed how nervous and scared he was. As if I was going to kill him right now.

Well it isn't a bad idea honestly..........

No we ain't gonna talk about it right now........

Maybe next time.......

"Hey hey. Relax" I took his face in both of my hands and rubbed his cheeks with my thumbs, trying to calm him down from his panick. Soon enough I could feel his breathing coming back to a normal pace and calming down. His whole face relaxed and he had stopped sweating bullets.

I kept hushing and stroking his auburn hair, preening it nicely with my hands and this seemed to have perfectly got him at bay as he opened his mouth to speak next without any stutter.

"Thank you My Dear........And I am really sorry....I truly am........I should have listened to you..............." He averted his gaze from me for the thousandth-time. But instead of being annoyed as always, I gently replied.

"Jules......don't be sorry......It's perfectly alright" I assured him.

"Really??" He asked back with the sound and eyes like of an inquisitive child. It sparked a giggle in my throat as I pinched one of his cheek lovingly.

"Yes Dear, it's perfectly fine. I mean, the main reason I got you outside was for you to acquire some fresh air and clear your mind from your busy schedule. I just wanted you to relax..........a-and spend some time with me of course..........and you are doing it. So I am happy. In fact, I am so glad from heart that you left your work and everything just to make my leisure special and worth it. And I deeply thank you for it Julian. I really do"

Ilya turned bright red when he heard every single word I spoke (as expected yet again). He then took my hand in his as he fondled my knuckles.

"Gosh.....I...........how in the world are you so sweet and cold at the same time? I always get so deeply intimidated by you"

I shrugged and looked away, staring at the tree not far beside me dancing along the wind. A small smile curved on my lips as I reminisced the days I used to climb on one of them haughtily.

"I don't know sir. That's how I truly am" That was the only answer I could give out most accurately.

Julian chuckled and kissed my hand again. This time it was different. The kiss lingered on my hand more than before which made me shiver a bit.

"You are one interesting woman Wynne. I am glad to have you with me"

"I am glad to have you with me as well....... almost" I snorted at the last part.

And Ilya as usual didn't take any offense as he laughed and got up from my lap before appearing in front of me. I tilted my head and beamed at him. He was looking quite handsome today I would say. And surprisingly, I was not bothered by him blocking my view this time like always. Well that's one improvement.

"Did someone ever tell you that you look like a goddess??" Julian tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear softly and taking his sweet time to feel my skin.

I chuckled at his innocent flirting, my cheeks heating up a bit.

"Well, maybe. If someone did tell me so, then I would most likely not remember it. Because that's definitely not what I am" I replied honestly.

Julian smiled at me gracefully and played with the locks of my hair.

"I really like how simple and truthful you are. It's something I have never seen in the ladies I have ever met in my life. You are the first one so. And of course I had no idea that such a lady would end up becoming my wife someday"

For the first time today I laughed genuinely, and Julian giggled with me too, adding onto our small joytime.

But then I moved closer to him till our foreheads met and our chests pressed together as I stared into his eyes with nothing but utter love. There was also a smirk on my lips as I enquired, moving my finger down his neck.

"So do you regret it?" I asked him with a playful whispering voice. And he immediately replied within a second.

"Never ever, My Love"

Julian quickly pinned me down on the grass ground with my shoulders, taking me off guard. Before I could ask what was this all for, he smashed his lips against mine.

His lips tasted sweet and soft, and he was moaning after every kiss. I had my fingers dug into his hair as I pulled him closer and played my own lips and tongue along his passionately.

Julian lifted my thigh up and wrapped my leg around his hip as we kissed. He kept stroking my thigh and messaging my waist while I roamed my hands over his back and chest.

Our lips kept clashing and tugging each other. The voices of pleasure from our throats were uncontrollable. We both were in such a bliss that we didn't even wanted to pull away. But we had to because of the stupid necessity of air.

A silver line connected both of our mouths as we gasped for breath. Julian had his head on my neck as he panted, the hot air coming from him made me shiver from the sudden feeling.

"See? I don't regret anything with you" It was Julian's turn to smirk at me. I smiled and preened his hair again, and kissed his forehead.

"I know. And I love you" I blushed pink.

"I love you too Wynne" He pecked my lips once more.

And soon after, still holding onto my waist, he rolled over with me such that I was now on him. I blushed madly and hid my face in his chest, while he just laughed and petted my hair.

"You are so cute.........."

"I am not cute"

"Oh my. Sorry Milady. Where are my manners? You are adorable. Is that better?"

"What the fuck?" What he said right now was so stupid and nonsensical that couldn't hold back my snort and chuckle. No wonder why he was good at entertaining people. Whether it be by singing off notes, dancing like a chicken, storytelling anecdotes which hardly sound real or cracking horrible corny jokes.

Julian is one national treasure. Yup. Totally.

"There there, giggly girl. You are quite happy today aren't you?" he petted me again.

"Sorry" I wiped the happy tear from my eye as I peered at him, a googly smile on my lips. But then it dropped when I realised something important. And it came to me when I saw Julian's head being awfully empty.

"Oh! I almost forgot" I frantically looked around me for a particular plant, and it didn't take me long to find what I was searching for.

"Hmm? What is it My Dear?" He asked but I didn't reply to him this time. I was too occupied with questing for his return present.

My eyes lit up as soon as I saw the purple hermit petals growing nearby. As quick as a snake I grabbed one of them and applied my magic on the single flower, multiplying them until they join together into a ring, big enough for a certain someone's head.

"Oh......is this what I think it is?" Julian simpered.

"Mhm. Yes it is" I told him as I placed the flower crown on his head. Julian being dramatic as always bowed down to me as I bestowed the ring upon his red head.

"For the one and only, The Wolfsbane lover. It's detoxified. Don't worry" I assured him.

"Oh Dear, it's very beautiful! You didn't have to" he giggled as he played with the petals on his head.

"But you seem to like it" I grinned at him as I rested my chin on his chest.

"Of course I like it. It's my favourite. And it's made by my lovely wife. How can I not love it?" He pinched my cheek.

"Heyyy stop. It hurts" I giggled and held his wrist.

"My apologies Sweetheart" he let go of me and kissed my nose, making me go cross-eyed.

I chuckled once more and hugged him tight, cuddling to his bosom close.

"I love you Period Head" I blurted out with endearment.

"I love you too Ocean Head" he returned back the affection and rolled the strands of my hair around his finger, and then combing through them with it.

The sun shined brightly above us and the birds chirped their beautiful opera from the lush green trees. The squirrels chased around for their nuts while the insects worked hard to make a living and survive.

Everything was going according to the nature. Just like how it should be.

And our love for each other was just like that.

Perfect and eternal.

#the arcana #fan apprentice #the arcana game #wynne toprak #arcana mc #arcana apprentice #arcana oc #julian devorak #ilya devorak #the arcana julian #ilyushka devorak #doctor julian devorak #julian x oc #julian x mc #what I wrote

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onsgiftexchange · 5 years

Text

This is for Sav ( @awildsavvy )! I hope that you enjoy it :) __________________

“WE HAVE TO JUMP!”

“ARE YOU CRAZY!?”

The yells could barely be heard over the loud explosions, which were seemingly endless, along with the very insistent alarm that was blaring loudly. The next explosion was close enough that they stumbled, almost knocked off of their feet from the force of it.

“We can make it! I know we can!” The blonde male urged. The female that was with him looked away, uncertain. “Mika I don’t –” She wasn’t able to finish her sentence, because the man - Mika - had already grabbed her by the waist and lifted her up. They were rapidly declining, the burning helicopter approaching the ground faster and faster, steadily gaining speed.

“Come on, come on…” the male mumbled, oblivious to the obvious fright on the girl’s face. Her lilac hair - which had originally been pulled back into a tight bun - was flying everywhere, wind whipping it back and forth. Now. Mika thought as he watched the sandy clearing draw nearer. Without a second thought, he jumped out of the helicopter, holding on tightly to the girl in his arms.

There was a moment in which the only thing he could hear was the roaring of the wind in his ears, and the only thing he could feel was a sudden weightlessness, before he crashed into the sandy dune. The impact ripped the girl from his arms, causing them both to go rolling in the hot, grainy sand with grunts and moans.

Before Mika could even think to get up, the helicopter crashed and erupted. The two figures were flung backwards like ragdolls, unable to move their limbs properly as the shockwave hit them. This time when he hit the ground, everything went black.

Regaining consciousness was not fun. His limbs felt heavy, his mind sluggish and all he could hear was this damn ringing noise that seemed to get louder and louder until his mind couldn’t take it anymore. He opened his eyes slowly, squinting against the harsh light of the hot sun. A giant mushroom cloud had formed over the sight of the crash, and all he could smell was ash and fire. If he looked closely enough, he could see pieces of the helicopter that appeared to be ablaze.

He somehow managed to drag himself into a kneeling position and slowly wiped some sweat off of his forehead, but when he pulled his hand back, instead of clear liquid, his hand was covered in smeared blood. He looked down at his body, ignoring the headache that exploded in his mind from that simple movement.

Bruises had already started to form on his arms and what little he could see from the tears of his military uniform. Then he was struck by a single, sudden thought:

Shinoa.

Immediately he shot up, and staggered from the pain that erupted in his head. His body shook and his legs threatened to buckle beneath him, but after a moment he held steady. He looked around, but didn’t see the girl anywhere near him. “SHINOA!”

He couldn’t hear his shout. The ringing noise had gone away by now, but in its place was complete silence. He could feel blood trickling out of his ears and grimaced, hoping that his hearing wasn’t irreparably damaged, however unlikely it was. He stumbled forward, calling out Shinoa’s name over and over but didn’t receive a reply. Either she wasn’t able to hear either, or… or… he didn’t want to think about it.

Eventually, finally, he saw her. Shinoa’s tiny form was completely limp, but noticeable, in the sand. He ran over to her and collapsed next to her, lifting her upper body into his arms. There were noticeable cuts on her face and arms, and a giant bruise on her forehead, but other than that she didn’t seem any worse than Mika himself. Blood was trickling out of her ears as well. The only difference between them was that she was unconscious while he wasn’t. He shook her helplessly. “Shinoa. Shinoa. Shinoa!”

She jolted and took a deep, rattling breath. Her eyes were wild and looked everywhere before finally settling on Mika. Her lips moved. Mika still couldn’t hear her, but he could see what she said. “Mika?”

He nodded rapidly and pulled her closer, burying his face in her shoulder. She smelled like blood and sweat, and her hair was tickling his face, but at that moment he couldn’t care less. She was alive, that’s all that mattered. He pulled away when she placed a hand on his arm, looking down at her. At that moment he wasn’t quite sure how he felt. Love, fear, relief, anger, anguish, happiness… somehow it was all there. We survived. Was all he could think, then a darker thought hit him. But for how long?

They were in enemy territory, alone, no weapons on them with explosions raging around them. Their mission had failed, and now they were stuck here. He had no idea if his previous transmissions calling for help had gone through, because as the helicopter fell all he could hear was static.

Shinoa seemed to be thinking along the same lines, because her jaw was set and her eyes focusing on a spot left to Mika, looking pensive and worried. She looked back up at Mika and he gave her a small nod. I understand.

He let her go and she slowly sat up on her own. They stared at each other for a moment, before Shinoa grabbed him by the cheeks and pulled him into a hard kiss. So many emotions went through that simple touch of the lips. Love, relief… it was palpable, and by the time she pulled away he wanted to cry.

His hearing was starting to come back now, and even though the sounds of explosions were muffled, they were still there. “We have to go,” he said eventually. “Can you stand?”

Shinoa frowned, and nodded. Mika didn’t miss the wince as she did so. Shakily, she started to rise to her feet, only to collapse back down with a cry of pain. Mika cursed and quickly caught her, worry rushing through his body. She didn’t seem to notice as he gripped her tightly, her eyes were far-away and she looked dazed. “Shinoa? Hey, look at me,” he slapped her cheek gently, and she seemed to snap out of it. “Mika?”

“Yeah, okay, walking isn’t a good idea… here, let me…” he went to pick her up, but his weight could barely support him, much less holding an extra 39 kilograms, and the two of them went down again with groans of pain.

“A-Alright… we… we’ll just… we can…” he was at a loss. Neither of them could walk. They were both hurt. Help likely wasn’t coming, and Shinoa… Shinoa was already looking at him with a sort of sad acceptance. Acceptance of their fate.

“Talk to me?” She requested, eyes never leaving his. Distract me so I don’t have to think about anything other than you before we die, was left unsaid, but they were both thinking it in their heads. Mika stared at her for a moment, before nodding slowly. “Okay uh… what… what do you want to talk about?”

“… Us.”

___________________________________

“Fight me!”

“Would you stop telling everyone to fight you?” Mika rolled his eyes, sucking on his lollipop as they walked to school.

The purple haired gremlin next to him seemed to puff with indignation. “My height doesn’t affect my ability to snap your neck or gouge out your eyes!”

At that the blond laughed loudly, scaring away some pigeons who’d been on the ground looking for breadcrumbs nearby. The old lady on the bench who’d been feeding them shot him a dirty look. “You can’t even reach my neck!”

“Uhhh do you really wanna test me, Hyakuya? Because there’s a fuckton of step ladders at our school and I’m not afraid to get on one of those to punch your stupidly pretty face.”

That had Mika stopping, causing her to crash into him. “Pretty?” He rose an eyebrow. Shinoa froze for a moment, as though she hadn’t meant to say that, before laughing. “Alright yeah, you’re pretty. Everyone knows it.”

“What? I’m not.”

This time it was Shinoa who rolled her eyes. “Oh I’m sorry, you’re not pretty. You’re super manly and butch.”

Mika frowned at that, starting the walk back to school with Shinoa prancing beside him. Pretty?

She thinks I’m pretty?

_____________________________________

“Come on, Mika, you’ll enjoy it!”

“I won’t. I really won’t. Yuu-chan, please don’t make me go to this stupid party.”

Yuu rolled his eyes. “Don’t be such a baby, Mika. Besides, I want you to meet my… uh…”

“Aunt?”

“She is NOT my aunt!” Yuu fumed, and Mika laughed. “I just want to prove to you how annoying she is,” Yuu continued in a whine, “come on, please?”

Mika sighed, but there was a small smile on his lips. “Alright Yuu-chan, anything for you.”

Yuu had to be exaggerating about how bad Shinoa was. Yuu was a drama queen after all, everything set him off and he was always coming up with wild stories when it was usually something simple. There was no way Shinoa was as bad as Yuu made her out to be. Right?

… He was right. She wasn’t as bad as Yuu made her out to be. She was worse. The first thing that the drunken girl had done was fling herself onto Mika when he walked through the door. “I’ve decided that you will be my princess from now on,” she stated, not even saying hi. Even Yuu looked horrified.

“Ummm… but I’m a guy?” Maybe she thought he was a girl? It unfortunately wouldn’t be the first time someone made that mistake after all. However, Shinoa didn’t seem to care what he had to say, because she simply pet his fluffy hair like he was a cat, then his face. “Shhhhhhh. Princess.”

Mika gave Yuu a bewildered look, who - although still looking horrified - also was starting to look pretty amused. Mika narrowed his eyes at his best friend. Traitor.

“Well, I’ll leave you two to get to know each other~” Yuu said, before swiftly leaving to go mingle with the rest of the party.

“Yuu-chan wait –”

“Oh good he’s gone,” Shinoa removed herself from him, all traces of her former drunkenness gone. She beamed at his bewildered face. “Name’s Hiiragi Shinoa.”

“U-Uh… Hyakuya Mikaela.”

“Oh I know who you are, Mika,” Shinoa said. “Yuu talks about you all the time. And… the others.”

By the others, he assumed she meant the rest of the Hyakuya’s, who’d died when the orphanage burnt down. He tried to ignore the pang of sadness. “Does he?”

“Yuuup,” she popped the ‘p’. “I’m sure he talks about how absolutely stunning and perfect I am all the time~?”

“Uh…” he thought back on all of the numerous rants and complaints Yuu had about her. “Something like that, yeah.”

“So, Mika, want a drink?” She asked bluntly, and he scratched the back of his neck, debating. He’d never drank alcohol before, and Krul would skin him alive if she found out, but it might be the only way to deal with this party…

“Sure.”

By the end of the night, Yuu found the two making out on the couch.

Mika would never forget the scream and the “Oh god my eyes!” that came from Yuu that night.

___________________________________________

“Starbucks is amazing,” Shinoa moaned, drinking some more of the coffee she’d ordered. They’d just sat down in the newest addition to their town, when someone behind Shinoa caught Mika’s eye. “Look behind you,” he murmured. “But don’t be obvious.”

Shinoa, in typical Shinoa fashion, immediately WHIPPED around and practically shouted, “Where!?”

For fucks sake.

He’d been hoping not to attract the attention of Ferid, the person he was trying to warn Shinoa to stay away from. However, the silver-haired male - along with every other goddamn customer in the store INCLUDING THE BARISTAS - all turned to stare at them. Ferid’s face brightened upon seeing Mika, and the blond let his head fall onto the table. Just kill me now.

“Mika-chan!”

Mika glared as the male came running over. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” the tall male said, looking positively ecstatic.

“You saw me,” Mika said bluntly. “Bye.”

“Eh? That’s not a very nice way to talk to your step-father…”

“You’re not my step-father.” Krul and Ferid had been divorced for almost two years now - thank God, Ferid was horrible to both of them - but in his mindset he seemed intent on it being “oh we just took a break, we’ll get back together soon” instead of “we’re totally done”.

“Ahaha so rude, Mika-chan~”

“Don’t call me that.”

Shinoa was starting to look concerned. “Um…”

“Oho~ Does Mika-chan have a girlfriend?”

“Okay, we’re going,” Mika said, getting off of his stool. Before he could grab Shinoa and leave, however, Ferid snatched his arm in a bruising grip that made Mika flinch out of instinct. “I’m not done talking to you,” Ferid growled, a complete 180 from his previous, happy demeanor. And then he wondered why Krul left him.

“Hey!” They both turned around to see Shinoa standing. “The only person allowed to touch my boyfriend is me,” she said sweetly. Then, before either of them could even blink, she kicked Ferid so hard in the balls that he went tumbling to the ground. Mika stared at him, along with everyone else, mouth hanging open in shock as the older man groaned in pain.

Not seeming to notice, she stepped over him and laced her arm in Mika’s and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Now we can go.”

That was probably the moment Mika fell in love with her.

____________________________________

By the time they were done exchanging some of their memories, the two were laughing, for a moment forgetting about all of the death and destruction around them. Forgetting about how soon enough they would be the ones to die, if not by an enemy then by the heat, or dehydration, or hunger, or all three. Forgetting for a moment about how these might be their last goodbyes. How they will never be able to see their friends again.

They forgot until they heard a helicopter. Until they looked up. Until they saw Yuu, Mitsuba, Yoichi and Kimizuki jumping out of it. Until they were being fussed over and carried into the helicopter, where Yoichi and Mitsuba immediately got to work with their med skills, patching the two fallen soldiers up.

They forgot that a few minutes ago, they had given up.

#onsgiftexchange #OnS Gift Exchange #Owari no Seraph Gift Exchange #Owari no Seraph #OnS #Seraph of the End #SotE #submission

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maddybunny · 6 years

Note

Fiiiine, here: 😁😉😍😘🙂😏😓🤑😧😨😳💔💖💞❣💥👠👑

BRO DASSA LOT!!! ok fine FUCKLE UP

😁 When are you the most happy?

This is a mega general question but I’ll cater my answer to the theme uwu I feel really happy when my fp return my feelings and show me affection and buy me stuff IDK LOL

😉 Do you enjoy life in general?

Boy are u just goin’ down the list or WHAT but ummm I suppose...? It’s alright. Has its ups and ...real bad downs, but I try not to dwell on it. TY meds!

😍 What’s your type?

As if you don’t know omfg. I’m a sucker for the cool, suave types. Sweet, kind heart, mmmm, idk, generally along those lines. I love confidence and someone who can balance me out.

😘 Are you good at flirting?

Why not ask the people I flirt with? ;^) Just kidding, I’m pretty shit.

🙂 Are you good in hiding your real intentions when you have to hide them?

I can be, but not typically. I don’t like to be dishonest!

😏 How smooth are you from 1 to 10?

Like a solid 2 at best

😓 Have you ever had an awkward moment after displaying yandere behaviour?

LMAO OF COURSE? Too many times. My worst I think was when my ex bf saw my sketchbook after a fight and it was uhhhhhhhhhhh fucked up to say the least and then he walked out on me and we never spoke again! :)

🤑 What is the first thing you’d buy if you got a lot of money?

Ahhh maybe a new apartment/condo or put it towards new tattoos I want or use it for trips when I need but overall I’d put most in savings I’d think so it depends on the amount.

😧 What kind of people bore you?

All these answers gonna make me sound like I’ve got the biggest fuckin’ superiority complex but IT’S NOT BIG I PROMISE OMG but I find people boring when they’re really basic, like don’t have any unique interests or their interests are extremely limited to like 1 or 2 things. Uh, people bore me when they think they’re really deep and smart but they just relay basic wisdom or things that are, like, common sense. People also bore me when they’re a mega downer all the time, like I mean ALL the time. It’s draining. I care about you but I’m not your therapist, get some professional help if you feel the need to cry every day to your friends I’m js. (I’m sorry that’s harsh af but it’s real tea and I’m saying this as someone who struggles with their own mental illnesses too!!) It’s okay to confide in your friends and be open with them and stuff but if you literally do nothing but whine whenever you talk to them then you need to work on that, fam

😨 What is your worst fear?

Spiders! I have terrible arachnophobia. I’ve had friends in the past think it’s funny to send spider pictures and shit to me for a laugh but that shit’s not funny. That’s not very yandere-themed though so I guess moreso on that theme my worst fear is really.. rejection, I think. Kinda dumb tbh but I get discouraged veryyyy easily.

😳 What makes you blush?

When people I like flatter me with compliments ;w; despite my pretty low self-esteem I still really appreciate them and feeling the love makes me all warm and fluffy inside.

💔 Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Yes, but only because they broke mine first and I had to do what was right in order to mend my own broken heart. (It wasn’t a petty matter of “you did it first so here’s my revenge” type thing)

💖 Have you ever met another yandere in real life?

I think so? I have met someone that said they love the aesthetic but I’m not sure if they identify with the trope. I have seen and met people that have displayed big dick yandere behaviour though, but :^) Tbh I think it’s best if yanderes avoid other yanderes when it comes to intimate relationships especially.

💞 Are you the type for multiple crushes?

I’m being called out... Yes, I am. Not many, but a few yeah. Nothing that would cause me to make the stupid choice of cheating on my committed partner though. I don’t have multiple partners because my partner and I have agreed to keep our relationship monogamous, but I do certainly feel people are very much capable of loving more than one person romantically as well!

❣ What makes you snap?

Augh this is tricky to answer because my seriously bad snapping involves me going dead silent and becoming extremely cold. I stare at nothingness and my mind feels like a static TV screen and words like “bitter” and “this isn’t fair” ring through my mind and I just prefer to hide away when that happens. That’s kind of moreso dealing with trauma though I think, like, fresh trauma. Outwardly snapping though, uh, when I’m accused of lying that tends to piss me off as honesty is a very important thing to me. There are other smaller things but I can’t really think of them at the moment.

💥 Have you ever been in a fight?

Not a physical one, no. Verbal and online? Quite a few times, mostly all in the past though. I try not to engage in physical fights because I feel like it’s beneath me... and also I’m weak af lbr

👠 Do you like fancy dates?

I do!! I really love to dress up! I feel my best when I look my best, I think. I love all sorts of dates though of course! Most of the time my preference for a date is just watching a movie on the couch and eating hahah

👑 How would you like to be treated?

Like a queen~ or a princess. uwu I’m a diva, I know. I love to be treated like something magical and intoxicating; it makes me high. If I like you? Smother me with affection - in different languages though! (Mostly not physical/sexual tbh!) As egotistical and selfish this answer is, it’s an honest one. Aside from that though, I just want to be treated with compassion and respect like anyone else?

You’re nuts for sending me so many smh but also TY it is fun to answer!! ♥ Sorry to anyone who doesn’t give a shiet :^);;

#asks #yandere #lord-vain

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orderofthefanfic · 7 years

Text

Because I Love You

A lovely request from @milleniumxhan “ I legit can’t remember my request I’m sorryyy! But here’s another one? Lololol sorrryyyy! Ummm so a Han Solo x reader where you get hurt and he’s hella protective over you and you’re like “I can take care of myself” and yeah but then he like confesses his love for you and you’re astonished cause he actually is worried about loosing you when you didn’t think he cared about u. And then you kiss and chewie walks in and it’s rlly fluffy and yah! Sorry again! ” I hope you like it!! I haven’t really written in a while so i hope it isn’t bad. Feedback and respective criticism would be greatly appreciated and helps me grow as a writer! And it makes me happy :) Enjoy!

The brunette standing in front of you irritated you to no end. He was always on your nerves, making sly comments, stupid jokes, and worst of all, underestimating you. You wondered why he stuck around you. Always talking you back into rejoining him, flying around in that piece of junk ship he refused to get rid of. He was a complete and utter jerk, and you couldn’t stand it. So when the sirens went off in the base and pilots began to rush to their respective fighters, you made it quickly through the crowd, doing your best to avoid the oaf. It wasn’t that you didn’t like him, no. But exactly the opposite. You harbored a small crush for the scoundrel, and it made you livid. He was an idiot. An immature, selfish, over-confident dick. You didn’t know why you liked him. Until he looked at you, that is. The minute his face was in view, that tiny little flame for him inside of you licked to life. He was adorable. Shame such a pretty face was wasted on such a ginormous blockhead. You huffed aloud, finally reaching your ship. You lowered the boarding ramp, walking up it and striding into the cockpit, flipping switches and pressing buttons, firing up the engines, and preparing to take off. You turned on the communicators, the speaker crackling to life with the panicked chatter of pilots talking back and forth as the Alliance geared up to fight. You were in the air before you could think about what you were doing, guns blazing as you took down Imperial ships left and right. ”(Y/n)? (Y/n), come in.” Hearing the voice of the man that could raise your blood pressure by the mere mention of his name calling out to you, startled you slightly, catching you off guard and causing you to nearly crash directly into a tie fighter, narrowly avoiding it with a swift jerk to the left. “What, Han?!” You snapped at him, frustrated that he would bother you in the middle of a battle. He was quick to reply, disbelief and anger evident in his voice, “What the hell are you doing? Are you crazy?” “What do you mean what am I doing? I’m fighting the Empire, what do you think?” You were already done with the man. He must think you were just some helpless little girl. You’d fought before and you were damn good at. You weren’t just going to sit by while the base was under attack. Swerving to miss another fighter, blasting them to bits just milliseconds afterwards with precise aim, you waited for Solo to respond. “You’re gonna get yourself killed, you can’t fight off all these ships!” You whipped your head towards the communicator, a disbelieving look on your face. Are you kidding me? He really thinks I’m that incapable? The very thought made you beyond apoplectic. This asshole had no right to tell you what you could and could not do. You opened your mouth to respond but before you could get a sound out, you were violently shaken out of your chair, the lights in the cockpit flashing red as sparks flew from the wires. While you were distracted by the conversation, a pilot had managed to hit you, taking out one of your engines. “Shit! Shit, shit, shit!” You cursed rapidly, climbing back into your seat as you gripped the joystick, trying desperately to steady the craft as it began to descend. “(Y/n)? What happened? What’s going on?” His voice sounded genuinely concerned as he questioned you. You tried to respond but your mind was in a jumble, “I…My…shit. I’m hit. Someone got the drop on me, I’m hit. My right engine is out and I’m going down fast.” The cockpit was quaking madly and you weren’t sure how you were going to land with the damage. “Alright just..hold on. I’m swinging the Falcon around and I’ll be right there.” Han frantically spoke, the whir of his engines breaking through the speakers. “Han, there’s nothing you can do. I’m gonna have to put her down as best I can…If i can.” You mumbled the last part, both hands tightly grasping the joystick as you pulled back, hoping to slow your fall. You groaned as you fought the ship, attempting to lessen the rocking as you plummeted to the hard ground. “(Y/n) pull up! Pull u-” It hurt for a brief second before darkness engulfed your vision.

It was hot. Smoke was filling your lungs, everything hurt, your ears were ringing, and your forehead felt wet with a sticky substance. You could only let out a breathy moan. Tears pricked your eyes as pain shot all over your body. Your sight was fuzzy, covered with a haze of smoke and lined with a black abyss that tried to creep into the rest of your perception and take over your eyesight. Your breathing was coming in quick, shallow breaths that hurt your chest with every inhale. A speck of movement caught your eye, fighting your drooping lids to see what was there. The hazy form began to take shape and looked like an arm, reaching in to grab debris and push it out of the way. “Ouch!” A muffled voice hissed, as the hand pulled back quickly, the heat of the metal burning it. You couldn’t fight your eyelids anymore as they closed, your mind beginning to shut down. You were pulled out of your decline by a warm, calloused hand gently resting upon your cheek, tilting your head carefully. You could hear talking but you could not make out any words. it sounded almost as if your were underwater, your ears clogged with the clear liquid. You used everything you had to lift your heavy lids to see the figure in front of you. The voice began to get more clear as you focused, “(Y/n)? Come on (Y/n) stay with me. C’mon. Look at me.” You could barely make out the features but you knew the voice. Han. You’d never been happier to see him in your life. He looked you over, hand feathering over your body as he assessed your injuries. “Shit…(Y/n)…I’m gonna get you out. You’re gonna be okay. I’m gonna get you out.” He reassured you repeatedly, his hands tenderly scooping under your back and knees, lifting you from the ground. A pained groan went past your lips and tears fell from your eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry but I’ve gotta get you out of here. I know it hurts I’m sorry.” His voice held complete guilt at causing you pain, sadness and worry taking over his normally smug tone. He held you close to his chest, tucking your head gently against his shoulder securely. You no longer had any energy to fight the dark, Han’s pleas for you to stay awake falling deaf on your eyes as your eyes rolled back in your skull and you succumbed to the void.

You could feel something on the back of your hand. It was rough, but the pressure was soft, moving around in a light circular motion as something brushed your hair line away from your bandaged forehead. A soft breath escaped your lips, your head slouched over as you twisted your sore neck to the side. You couldn’t yet bring your eyes to open themselves, the lack of energy making even staying conscious a chore.The rubbing on your hand stopped, a light shuffling and the creaking of a chair beside you reached your ears as well as the dry and tired voice of Han, “(Y/n)?” It was soft, careful to make sure that if you weren’t awake it wouldn’t rouse you from your sleep. You cracked your eyes open, blinking fiercely at the blinding white lights hanging over the bed you were lying in. Han was quick to act, his hand coming up to shade you from the harsh glare and turning around to direct the bot behind him to dim the bulbs. His arm lowered slowly, allowing you to adjust. Your vision was still very hazy but it sharpened enough for you to see his face. “Han?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, cracking as it pushed past your sore throat. He quickly bent over, grabbing a glass of water as he offered it to you. You accepted it graciously, he held it softly to your lips, assisting you with drinking it as he spoke, “Yeah, yeah, its me.” You took a few deep breaths, the soreness of your whole body making everything difficult. “How long was I out?” You moaned out the question, attempting to sit up with a hiss. He leaned forward, looking hesitant in letting you sit up, but deciding to help you anyways. “About a week,” he replied softly, looking down at his hands, fiddling with his fingers,”They had you in the bacta tank for a few days. Almost everything is healed, but you’ll be stuck in this bed for a bit.” You sighed, closing your eyes, dreading being forced in to bed rest. He looked up at you briefly, sighing, before he cleared his throat, “(Y/n)…what the hell were you doing out there?” You darted your eyes toward him, an angered look instantly taking over your features as you shot back, “Excuse me?” He sat back in his chair, his expression becoming agitated, “What the hell were you doing? You could have gotten yourself killed. You almost did. You should have waited for me” You arched your brow at him, scoffing as you crossed your arms, painfully, over your chest, eyeing him down, “I can take care of myself, Han. I had it.” He scoffed as well, leaning back, looking over you with an annoyed expression as he shot back, “Yeah it sure looks like it. You almost got killed out there!” “I’m fine.” “You might not have been.” You rolled your eyes at him, getting angrier by the second, “Well I am. So get off my back.” “I thought you were dead!” He shouted back, hands flying in the air as he sat up in his chair. “Oh please, like you care!” You matched his volume, leaning towards him in anger, “Why would you?” “Because I love you?!” He yelled the confession at you before his mind caught up to what he was saying. His eyes widened in terror, hand slapping on his mouth. You were about to scream back until the words finally processed in your head. Your mouth gaped open and closed like a fish out of water. “You…you what?” You stammered, your hands started to shake and your heart began to beat out of your chest. He had paled slightly, not knowing how to respond, “I..look i…” he sighed, giving up on trying to pull back from what had just escaped his mouth, “I love you, okay? I love you. And i thought I lost you and it scared the shit out of me.” Your breathing picked up, looking him in the eye, darting back and forth from each one, searching for any sign of a fallacy in his hazel orbs. He stared right back, an emotion glowing in his eyes that you had never seen before, love. He looked like he was about to speak, but he huffed before disregarding whatever thought he had before catching you off guard. He leaned forward quickly, a hand resting on the mattress as the other held your cheek gently as he swiftly placed his lips onto yours in an impatient kiss. You didn’t have time to get past the shock, close your eyes, and enjoy the kiss before it was over. He pulled back quickly, looking apologetic as he backed away from you, “I’m sorry, I…shouldn’t have done that.” He was about to stand up before you stopped him, your hand coming up to your face, your fingers feathering over your lips, feeling the leftover tingle of the lingering kiss, “I never knew I was waiting for that to happen. But it couldn’t have come soon enough.” Heat rose to your cheeks as you looked at him shyly, hoping he wouldn’t run. He looked at you for a second, debating, before a grin spread across his face. He turned to face you directly, leaning back down towards you. You gripped his collar, pulling him the rest of the way to you, crashing his lips onto yours again. It was passionate, loving, and oh how you loved it. The kiss was deepening as he leaned further into you, trying to get closer to you before you both jumped at the chuckle of Chewbacca behind you. Han whipped around, giving his friend an annoyed look. Chewie bantered at Han, waving his hand at him. Han rolled his eyes, as you let out quiet and bashful laugh, “You did not know, you big carpet. It was not that obvious.” Han defended himself as waved the giant off. The wookie rolled his eyes, nodding his head towards you as he left. Han rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, looking at you with a nervous chuckle. You lifted your eyes to his, your hair falling slightly in front of your face, dropping your gaze as you shyly tucked it back behind your ear. Giving him a quick glance, you began to giggle lightly. He chuckled in response, stepping back over to you. “Sit with me?” You quietly asked, peeking up at him nervously with your head still lowered. He smiled, walking over and climbing in carefully next to you. He wrapped his arm behind your back gently, cautious of your injuries. You scooted closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder. The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for moment before you spoke up quietly, “I love you too.” He arched his eyebrows, looking down at you, “Huh?” You looked up at him, meeting his gaze as you smiled, “I said, I love you too.” The grin that instantly lifted his perfect lips spread wide across his face. He bent his head down and lightly pecked you on the lips, pulling you closer to him as he tightened his grip on your waist slightly. You rested your head back down with a contented sigh. You didn’t recall when you fell asleep, but you were sure it had been the best sleep of your life.

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