#sorry I don’t know what to tag this

[quibbs126]

So my dad came into my room this morning, asking if I’m actually going to do anything while at home, or if I’m just gonna laze in my bed the entire time I’m here (I’m on summer break, have been for almost 2 weeks). Also about a week ago, my mom told me to clean up my room so I can actually do something productive here, to which I have done very little of aside from move the stuff out that isn’t mine that they just threw in here

I’ll probably rant about the cleaning thing later, since I’m more frustrated about that than anything, but honestly, my problem is that I am just stuck in this state of limbo. I think the best word to describe me (and pretty much any time I’m here, or heck even just my mood in general) is bored. I’m incredibly bored. And so, my mind retreats into itself, being in this state of half aware, and half thinking about random things, trying to form thoughts. And it’s like, I think my brain is so used to being in this state that it just doesn’t want to do anything

Like I don’t want to be in this state of never doing anything, it’s boring and all I end up doing is rewatching the same videos, listening to the same music, playing video games (and even then it’s just Cookie Run at this point, with maybe a daily New Horizons check in. Anything else is a rarity). And I know I have things to do, like chores and stuff for college. But the problem is, getting myself to do anything outside of the status quo is an almost Herculean task and uphill battle that 95% of the time I end up losing. I want to do things, but it’s near impossible to fight my brain to actually do anything, it’s like I’m stuck in my own body, like it’s a prison, but I literally cannot force myself out of it. I say yes to literally any offer to do something by someone else because I have to try and force myself to leave and not be stuck in this state of limbo.

My dad asked me about my low grades this year, citing that I had no roommate or job to distract me, but to be honest, I think those things would have only helped, because it’s less time in limbo and more time in reality, possibly enough to get me to do things (not to mention a job would get me money). But the whole roommate thing was out of my control (I had one, but she didn’t live there), and applying for a job is one of the things my brain refuses to do, so I don’t know how to fix that

And I think this problem has been affecting me for at least the entire year, if not longer. I don’t like being like this, but I don’t know how to stop it

Also can I just swing back around to the room cleaning thing? I just need something to get my mind off this

Okay, so they want me to clean my room, go through my boxes and see what I don’t want/need anymore, and fair, there’s plenty of stuff I don’t use, but question, what am I supposed to do with the things I don’t want??? Because as far as I know, the only option is the trash

Like yeah, I don’t really want half of my books anymore, but what am I supposed to do with them? I’m not throwing these away! I do know a place that buys books, but it’s back at my university, which is an hour and a half drive from here. Or the printer and art tablet. My university has printers in the library you can use, and my major doesn’t really require printed things, and the tablet is for computer drawing, which I don’t really do anymore, I just use my iPad. But like hell we’re throwing those away, they’re expensive! A lot of this stuff I don’t think should just be thrown away, but what do I do with them then???

And where am I supposed to put the things that I do want? I have no storage anymore because they got rid of my shelves! Literally all I have are my desk which I keep clear for obvious reasons, the top of my dresser which is already full and has little space for things in general, a small nightstand which is already full, and boxes. And I can’t put things in my closet either, that’s already full of boxes! How do you expect me to clean my room if at the end of the day, everything still has to be in boxes? Like what do you expect of me?

And going and saying these things risks the idea of me sounding like an idiot, which I always feel like around them because I do not know what they want of me! Like, last week we were going shopping for a Mother’s Day gift, and my dad showed us a picture of a mug my mom wanted, and he just sort of told us to find it. We went and looked around the store for it (by which I mean a quick circle because my brother just decided to follow me instead of fan out) but it wasn’t there. And my dad was like, “did you not think to ask someone or something, you’re just giving up?” Well yes, I would have asked someone, but I remember you thinking that I shouldn’t just go up to workers and ask them things, since we should just find them ourselves, so I didn’t consider that an option! We literally do not know what you want from us! And on Sunday he was showing me how to mow the lawn and was getting annoyed that I didn’t know where to put the basket for the grass (or whatever it’s called) on the lawn mower, but I didn’t understand what he was talking about, and he was just getting increasingly frustrated. I don’t know what you mean by “underneath”, I’ve never used the lawn mower before, nor do I know the anatomy of this basket to know if you mean the underside of the basket (which I don’t even know what that is) or the bottom of the lawnmower, which I also do not know the anatomy of!

And yeah, I’ll admit I do act more an idiot around my parents, especially my dad, but when I don’t know what he wants, I don’t know how to interact with people and he expects me to immediately know and react to what he says, when I don’t. Also not to mention the fact that when I act even a little bit exasperated or have a bit of sass in my response, he raises his voice telling me to stop, at which point I do because I don’t want him angry at me, so my only option is to be an idiot who doesn’t know what’s happening. Not to mention the fact that I’m just generally not to.d things, like where we’re going. When I’m by myself, I’m allowed to be an idiot because there’s no one to criticize me, and I think I do better like that. Also, I know what I’m doing and where I’m going, instead of just being dragged along

*ahem* okay, I think I got carried away there, this is not at all what the original topic was. I think this is more three posts in one, sorry. I just needed to get these things off my chest, you feel me?

[daeyumi]

i love it when ppl put kirby into desserts

[manyminded]

here’s to unhealthy fat people

if ur fat bcuz ur disabled. disabled bcuz ur fat. are unhealthy for other reasons, unrelated to fatness. unhealthy bcuz ur fat. are fat because of things like diabetes.

a lot of body positivity is about ‘being fat isn’t inherently unhealthy’ which, yes, while this is true, there are outliers. for some people being fat is unhealthy. that’s okay. they deserve positivity too!

you’re not morally wrong for struggling. you aren’t a bad stereotype. you’re a person. there are so many people out there and such a wide range of experiences that it’s bound someone like you exists. that’s okay. you’re okay.

[bloobydabloob]

Holy shit I love your Dirk interpretations, it's so true and I could talk about this shit forever. I feel like another part of his character that people seem to forget (along with Roxy for some reason) is that he's from the future in solitude in an apocalyptic wasteland. I just see that part of his character always removed which is disappointing because I feel like that's a pretty big part, especially regarding his themes around technology, his brother's theme of Time, his own isolation, and how he plays in the vastness of the universe and spacetime.

Art I drew related to the subject because I like to respond to asks with art.

But absolutely. I certainly understand where the lack of discussion over his isolation + upbringing comes from, considering a majority of the fanbase that I have seen builds their ideas based on their own version of postcanon. I’m not entirely sure how that would be fixed, but certainly even in the somewhat recent past I would see a lot more content regarding his upbringing both literally and symbolically. I don’t have much to add regarding the things you’ve mentioned, because they just are what they are. Dirk being confined to a singular room left to him by a father figure he never met, in a future where the only other person left on the planet is someone he cannot pursue a relationship of because of himself, with purely 3 robots to keep him companion, one being an exact replica of his own brain who is *also* trapped inside a pair of glasses, is about as literal as it gets to me.

The contrast to me involving the flooded, organic world in comparison to the little speckle of Dirk’s apartment packed with the dude and his technics is not only a representation of his isolation and entrapment within himself, but also of his lack of control. I think his obsession with & themes of control are a direct product in the case of Dirk specifically *of* this kind of upbringing. His themes of technology are also related to his themes around control. So much of his character is actually revolved around this to me like so much. Dirk is so deeply disconnected from humanity in every way and so much of his character + symbolism is based around that.

It doesn’t even have to be about the symbolism or anything though. It’s just pretty *interesting* in the literal sense that he lives in the middle of the ocean in the future. There’s not only a lot to theorise on to do with his young life there, but on how it might affect him in the way he acts for the rest of his life. The latter part is probably what I see mentioned the most by people talking about Dirk regarding this, I’m surprised I don’t see more discussion on the former too though. I really ought to actually talk more about Homestuck stuff on here. I will do it myself.

Roxy & Dirk’s relationship is largely ignored though because there is a narrative a certain demographic spreads that Dirk resented and blamed Roxy for her interest in him, and thus too many people believe that their relationship was or would continue to be an abusive one. Realistically, I believe it’s important to acknowledge that the way Roxy treated Dirk regarding his homosexuality wasn’t right while still acknowledging the obvious amount of respect and admiration Dirk had for Roxy. I mean we have a huge piece of dialogue from their post trickster mode conversations on the quest beds from Dirk purely stating how he feels about Roxy that people completely ignore somehow. I think this usually happens to characters that are women though. I know everyone says it, but it is true. Jane gets the exact same treatment of boiling her down to solely her negative aspects. The things I see completely mischaracterising both of them are horrific.

I mean how much more explicit can it get that their relationship is obviously very important to Dirk? But I digress. I think the best or I should say “most interesting” interpretations of their relationship usually come from DirkRoxy shippers actually.

I would be interested to hear about Dirk’s relation to his brother’s theme of time though. I don’t have any thoughts on this and I don’t recall ever hearing anyone talk about it before. If you or anyone else would be willing to enlighten me I’d be thrilled.

[flixiastar]

Happy twf again but the

[saltedbiscuiit]

Silly 15!skk comic that I sketched awhile ago and dont remember what compelled me to draw this

[wistfullywaiting2]

The biggest misconception in the bsd fandom ever to me is people constantly portraying Atsushi as someone who trauma dumps excessively when he canonically barely talks about it at all.

The entire point is that Atsushi does not talk about his trauma he’s just constantly reliving it. He can’t escape the memories of his past so he tries not to acknowledge them.

He only mentions it when asked, either directly or when someone asks him to explain himself.

Atsushi doesn’t even give a cohesive explanation for what he saw while under Dogra Magra, he just apologizes to Haruno and Naomi.

If Lucy hadn’t had her whole “you’ve never suffered the way I have” spiel then I doubt even the audience would’ve gotten to find out about his scars

If Akutagawa never asked him how it felt for the orphanage headmaster to die Atsushi would have never told him that he’s been hallucinating.

In the omake where Kyoka asks him why his hair is like that it’s clear he wouldn’t have told her that unless she had asked.

In 55 minutes Atsushi very briefly mentions sleeping on a dirty floor somewhere to Kunikida because he was trying to explain and justify his behavior.

And the thing is there are scenes that implies the other characters see Atsushi behaving strangely and are visibly confused because they do not understand what’s wrong with him.

Remember, we as an audience get to see things about characters that the main cast doesn’t. Just because we see into Atsushi’s mind doesn’t mean the other characters know what’s going on in there.

[locusfandomtime]

there they are… the hermit crabs

[puddii-ng]

random old and miscellaneous shumika funnies

[the-kinning-hour]

Mha came back to me with a vengeance. Have a doodle

[127tko]

bumblebee practice :)

…don’t ask me why he looks like that I couldn’t tell you

Um. I don’t really have any specific continuity in mind, im only actually familiar with TFPrime and TFOne so… outside of the content i see on here this is. based on vibes? I guess idk man

with some close ups :}

I still can’t really comprehend drawing mechs I really gotta get into the groove and lock in fr. I come back to art after like a 4 month break only having ever drawn humans and I thought it’d be easy smh

[pondhue]

CATBOY RICK JUMPSCARE

[zxmbigirlfriend]

stuilly week day 1- au

i will take literally any excuse to draw gross evil lesbians. if only i could draw them the whole week💔💔

[duckdachi]

I want persona 1 to get a remake so bad

[madzthemenace]

the only reason Katniss pays attention to Gale in Mockingjay is because Peeta isn’t there LOL

[wizardofarles]

one thing about canon Laurent I really admire and even envy is how constant he is. once Damen earned his trust he never took it back. what was it Damen said, something like, “when his walls went back up it was with Damen inside them”. for someone who went through what Laurent went through he’s shockingly stable in relationships