#soooooso much

[teddybeartoji]

彡 LOVE BY THE OPEN WINDOW

☆. contains: toji fushiguro x gn!reader; established relationship, fluff, a bit bittersweet in the beginning... very sappy very cute, reader calls him "my baby" wc: 1.9k

toji doesn't understand why you love the rain so much.

he doesn't see the appeal. at all.

everything gets wet, gloomy and dark – he hates the way soaked clothes feel on his body; how heavy they are, how they cling to him. he hates the puddles, he hates having to go around them. and he hates when a car passing by splashes him. it's fucking ridiculous.

he doesn't understand why your eyes are glued to the street below as you sit by the open window. a brisk breeze cards your hair, cradles your jaw; he can see the goosebumps on your skin but you refuse to move. you're holding onto a cup of something (he knows it's tea) and he can see the warmth of it. he watches you raise the ceramic to your lips, he watches you swallow, he watches you take in the heat with a faint smile. droplets of rain litter your bare legs and arms and he thinks about chiding you about catching a cold... but he just can't seem to actually do it.

fresh out of the shower, he stands in the dim living room with a towel in his hand - the only light in the room is coming from the outside and it's not a lot. the sky is painted a hazy, pale gray shade; he can't even see the clouds the water is pouring from - everything above has mixed into one big melancholy blob. the rain thrashes so loudly that it muffles every other sound in the world. it's overwhelming. he hates it.

images of a kicked, sad dog sitting under a sky just like this flood his mind. licking his wounds as the water tried to wash him away; the drops felt like daggers, like sharp little blades, trailing all over his skin. the clothes on his back burned as the cold took over, nothing ever made sense to him. the dog hated how bright it was – why weren't the clouds darker, why wasn't it storming, why wasn't the weather worse? he wanted to hide in the shadows, hide from the stupid rain and the hurt and the shame, to hide from the light.

(memories, not images.)

"toji?"

warm, like the sun. another kind of light. your lips curl around the letters of his name like they're meant to do so and he doesn't know... he doesn't understand why. the rain – ever so gloomy and sad and cold and dark and irrelevant and upsetting and useless and—

"baby?"

a switch goes off in his head and the rain changes into a simple background noise. he hears you loud and clear.

an extended hand, reaching for his – you're as patient as ever, your hand doesn't shake as you wait for him. it never does. toji shakes his head to rid of the images because he wants to see you instead. you're here and that's all that matters. his shoulders relax and he let's out the breath he didn't even know he was holding. you're smiling. you're beautiful.

the background doesn't muddle in his eyes – it's you and the rain. coexisting; the flood won't wash you away like he fears and you won't make it disappear either. and that's okay. he watches you place down your mug and his heart does a little flip when you reach out to him with two arms now. your grin stretches wider, your shine – you want him there, no matter how unbelievable it sounds or seems.

throwing the towel over his shoulders, he sneaks forward. he's not as sour as he was mere seconds ago and you're glad. you've noticed that he doesn't like this type of weather and you understand why.

his mossy green eyes bore into yours as you dig your fingers into his still damp skin. he smells good, he feels anew. while he still feels quite warm from the shower, he sees more goosebumps raise from your skin and he's decided to try and lecture you now, he's gonna tease you about the dangerous breeze, the risk of getting sick. the corners of his scarred lips tug upward and—

"stupid, your hair is still wet. you're gonna catch a cold."

...

you're not really looking at him; fully focused on his unruly, wet strands of hair, eyebrows furrowed as you push them away from his eyes. your tone is caring, albeit a little teasing. he loves it.

he loves you.

he's about to bite back but you're just not letting have his moment today.

a surprisingly warm hand slithers up his chest and around his neck while another hold onto his soft cheek. an unstoppable object meets an immovable force. toji doesn't even have a chance.

you tug him down with the most gentle pull and before he can even question what you're doing – your lips press against his forehead. adoration blooms from the touch; it travels to his cheeks and the tips of his ears, his own lips, his neck, his chest, his lower stomach, the tips of his fingers, his thighs and knees, his fucking toes. it's everywhere. you are everywhere.

the loud "mwaaaaaaah!" that spills from you makes him chuckle; his chest rumbles with warmth and you take the moment to fully cradle his face in your hands. he leans into it, nuzzling into you like a big cat.

"my baby..."

toji hates how much he loves it when you call him that. him – a baby? how ridiculous, how childish, how foolish and naive; he is not a—

"myy baabyy..."

his insides fill with butterflies and his skin burns. the desire to pull away, to look away, to hide, is immense but your hold on him is stronger. he let's you tug him down a bit further, until his head bonks against his – you're looking at him from an incredibly silly angle and he's never felt more at home.

"'m a grown man, stop callin' me 'baby'." he grumbles. like a child.

"i can literally hear your heart racing right now, stop lying tough guy."

you know his act better than he'd ever like to admit. it's scary how clearly you see him. he really doesn't have a chance against you. you're something that grows between the cracks of concrete, slowly but surely growing your roots underneath before sprouting up and reaching for the sky. you hold him together.

in order to distract you from your unnervingly accurate comment, toji pinches your side before pulling you into his embrace. still sat on the windowsill, you let him snake his strong arms around you and wait for him to take his rightful place behind your back. he holds onto you as if you're about to slip away from him but you aren't. and you never will.

more droplets of rain fall onto your thighs and his arms and it feels refreshing. you feel him rest his heavy head on your shoulder and you know that this is the perfect time to introduce him to your favourite type of weather.

hand on top of his, you use the other to grab the lonely, almost forgotten cup of tea and bring it to your lips. it's still warm. after a quiet 'ahhh!', you raise it to his – he drinks it without a word. you know it's too sweet for him and you laugh when he doesn't say anything, just letting his eyes fall shut at the taste with a low grumble. your big baby.

the sound of the rain isn't as overwhelming anymore, it's not deafening. he feels you breathe and he feels the brisk air; the tiniest drops find his face with the help of the wind but they don't sting like they used to.

"look..."

toji gives you a 'hm?' before peeling open his eyes. he looks at you, only to find you staring at the street below again with a pretty smile. he follows your gaze and his hearts stammers. three kids, jumping around in a puddle, laughing so hard that they're almost crying – he didn't even hear them. they're wearing the most colorful clothes toji has ever seen in his whole entire life and they're laughing.

"so fucking cute."

you nuzzle your nose against his cheek while he's still looking at the kids splashing each other. "c'mon, when are we doing that, hm?"

the corners of his lips tug up despite his best efforts to stop them from doing so. he gives your body a aqueeze before murmuring. "y'really are something, huh..."

a toothy grin and another laugh – he doesn't know what he'd do without you.

toji lunges forward, pretending to bite your nose and he revels in the sounds that bubble from your throat. damp hair tickles your face as you try to push him off and the tea in your hand threatens to spill as you squirm in his hold, but he doesn't budge. he nips at your skin and he swallows your laughter like it's the last meal he'll ever have.

"y'wanna go and play in the rain?" kiss. "wanna play in the puddles?" kiss. "y'wanna catch a cold like those kids out there, hm?" kiss.

whatever thoughts plagued his mind before are long forgotten now. the memories are actively being replaced my newer, happier ones and he's glad to let the old ones go. he's fucking elated to do so.

with one final bite-kiss, he steadies his arms around you once more and let's you catch your breath.

"tell me more."

your eyebrows raise and you tear your eyes from the dancing trees outside. "about what?"

"what ya wanna do... why ya like the rain s'much..."

he's just a little hesitant to ask, though he himself isn't sure what he's so afraid of.

(he's scared he won't be able to give you what you want.)

"oh. hmm..." toji feels like a blanket around you and you can't help but melt into him as you answer his question. "i love the sound of it, i think it's very calming."

a hum.

"i love just watching it too, i love watching the puddles grow. i love to watch it soak everything."

another hum.

"i love the fact that it helps the flowers bloom, the grass and the trees. i like how it smells, during and after. i love how the sun peeks from the clouds when it's all done."

toji's eyes fall shut as he listens to your smooth voice. he pictures you instead of a weeping dog – he thinks about you sitting outside, in the rain. he knows you'd welcome it with a bright smile and open arms.

(like you welcome him.)

"i wanna feel it on my skin, and my hair. it's so refreshing. and i really do wanna play in the puddles, toji..."

he hears the pout in your voice and his insides feel warm. it's easy to forget about his past when he's with you; his every single thought involves you, they circle around you and he couldn't be more grateful.

"'n i wanna kiss in the rain. you know, like they do in the movies?"

his voice is smooth, comforting. he's not making fun of you, he's genuinely invested in your wish. "mm, yeah? wanna kiss like yer in a movie?"

"i do."

the rain. it pours and pours. the kids laugh and cheer. you sip on your tea and he hears you swallow. he feels your heartbeat.

"okay."

determination.

a promise.

[cabinette]

I don't even care about them. i don't care about them at ALL.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

OKAY WHAT IF I CRIED .

[cosmikirby]

CABBY ATTACK💥💥💥💥💥

[boydykedoctor]

oh great a theory post of mine from 2 years ago is getting traction again. listen i love this show i do but. i don't think the writers actually are doing any of this on purpose

[badnewswhatsleft]

THANK YOU FOR THE MANIA TEA POSTING like genuinely im so. interested in it i wish to know more…like we know some parts but i need the full picture u feel me

LITERALLY mania tea is fascinating im constantly microwaving it in my mind.... like don't get me wrong i rlly do love mania i will defend it always, but knowing joe was absent from and particularly unhappy with it... it doesn't affect my enjoyment of the album per se, it just always. sits in the back of my mind.

it was pretty obvious that joe was literally effervescent with pride in being more involved for srar. it was very interesting to me to find out llamania demos were likely joe & patrick close collaborations because you can tell joe really valued those sessions. for smfs: "[...] i have been more a part of the process from the ground up than i have been in years. i feel a personal connection to these songs." (p.211). and in that discord q&a "i like collaborating with my band" - like that guy clearly loves working with patrick/his band so much😭🥹

(and idk i have to shoehorn this opinion in llamania is soooooso so so so excellent to me like i promise thats not even joetrick brain speaking because i loved it before i even knew any of this info. like hello musically and LYRICALLY all 4 mins of it is already so good and interesting. im so serious)

so to see what happened with mania is so interesting. im just so stuck on the fact that joe says patrick initially agreed with him on the idea of returning to a more acoustically driven sound!!

like why would there be/who would make that sudden call to scrap everything...??

at about 00:58 in this vid patrick explains that the way it used to work, he and pete work so smoothly together they would produce a bunch of material and then ig the industry machine steamrolls on. from the sounds of it in joe's book as well, i wouldnt be surprised if maybe some version of that had happened again for mania? this is so tragic because all of srar they were so fresh faced adamant that the process would be different this time round lol. lmao even. but then... again: the fact joe says before going into mania, patrick had agreed with him on returning to a "band" sound again in the first place is still very intriguing?!?! which then leads me to think about the following -

there are also these points about mania from the guys that also give me much food for thought.

(source) "it didn’t feel like it was what me or Patrick really wanted to be doing but we both thought that was what the other wanted!" literally what. i dont like to extrapolate from one sentence where i cant even read his tone or body language but. what kind of dysfunction lol

(source) wild post-mania description of mania. everybody fights and everybody's miserable sweeeeep

also sorry for scuffed photos of book pages but the way joe describes it all is.

ummm i don't remember if i had a point to this. mania is literally like "this tea ain't shit" and half an hour later im pacing back and forth muttering to myself with none of this rocks open in my hands sticking book tab stickers on every paragraph. unfortunate album of strange creative frustration and pressure from pop culture and industry trends and joe clocking himself the fuck out of it we love to see it !!!!!

[garoujo]

wwweeeeh how big is nagis dick

around 7-7.1 inches, heavy, soooooso thick 2 ! doesn’t shave unless you ask him 2 but the curtains match the drapes + it’s so hot he just gives it a trim <3 slight upward tilt, pale shaft, pink tip but gets darker and red when he’s needy — super leaky and pretty despite how intimidating it may look — he’s not a grower, he is GROWN ! hard to hide his bulge in literally everything he wears so it’s even more impossible 2 hide how hard he ends up when you even so much as look at him for too long !

[puppybong]

i love my friends soooooso so so so so so much sooooo much and you when you read this i love you I love my 2 melatonin also

[wishfuldorian]

I respect people who draw mechas for fun soooooso much like hi how do you know how to do that without crying

[hababa]

hate landlords soooooso so so so so so much. “please give me a reference” “no” “why? I was a good tenant, paid rent on time, painted and cleaned the house when i moved out” “sorry we don’t do that” .-.

[teddybeartoji]

i'm thinking abt adding the dad bod toji appreciation thing into this other little drabble i'm working on... yk helping him take a shower after a long day... something something gentle love something something

[goblinmaiden]

whats is up my guysss tysm for following me!!

i just realized i havent made a little info board abt myself yet 4 my profile so id figure id do one now in case u wanna know a lil more about me n my blog.

i mostly just post my pics, thoughts, and posts i like on here. its just kinda like a public journal lol idk i just post whatever i like!!! also i should mention that this is an 18+ blog!!!! while my blog is not centered around n s f w content, i do repost that kind of content from time to time!! PLS DNI IF UR A MINOR!!!! <3

anyways heres some stuff abt me lol:

age: 22

pronouns: she/they

bi/pan !!!

name: maeve/goblin/bleary (all nicknames but acceptable for everyone 2 use :3)

interests: anything batman!! i love harley, joker, and the riddler!! i also love drawing, painting, and singing :)

fave video games: i play a lotttt of overwatch, LoL and the arkham games rn :D i love LoZ games and life is strange!!! hyper light drifter is also fucking amazing

fave bands: pierce the veil, paramore, motionless in white, idkhbtfm, muse, arctic monkeys, lana del rey, mystery skulls, and soooooso much more lolll

fave shows: gotham, adventure time, smiling friends, batman TAS, regular show, brooklyn 99, himym, and futurama!!!

pic of me!:

feel free to ask me whatever u want!! (no weird things pls lolol)

ALSO b4 u ask i do s3ll cont3nt lol check my bio xD

[tinydeskwriter]

Hiiii um I loved this soooooso much, I was wondering if u were to write a pt 2 can u tag me pls? So I won’t miss it :) love ur work

Hi Luv, I am so so sorry for the delay in answering you, your ask got a little lost among the others, I ended up not making a tag list, I asked for those who wanted to be tagged to send on the ‘ask’ but they kept asking everywhere and I got lost, so to not let anyone out I decided not to make one… If you haven’t read all the pieces yet and is still interested this is the link to the Serie Masterlist:

Thank you so much for reading Traitor and taking the time to send me a message, I really appreciated🥰

[fl-oralfawn]

Just thought I should let you know that I'm following for my side blog @stuffuelovinhours :) your blog is really cute and I love seeing your posts

ooh i totally forgot this was hangin out in my inbox !

thank you soooooso much both for taking the time to come let me know about your side blog and for letting me know you enjoy my blog !!💓💓 ofc i run it bc it makes me happy, but it always makes me extra happy to know someone else is enjoying my blog too!

[garoujo]

emmie 🥹🥹

have the greatest time in japan!! omg i wish you all the fun in the world 🫶🏻🫶🏻

sending you smushes and smooches bc i love you so much 🥰

my love !!! fank u fank u bbie ,, eeeee im soooooso excite to go + see all the blorbo merch :3 i will make sure to show u guys all the cool stuff i do !!! sending ultra smooches ur way always ily ily ily <333

[teddybeartoji]

bunny!megumi.... 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴