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marshmallowgoop · 3 years ago

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[Image description: A screenshot from Episode 49 of Detective Conan/Case Closed. Shinichi, sweating, smiles as he says, “You [Hattori] got it all wrong!” End image description.]

Also, I know it’s an over-analysis, but I think a lot about how Heiji’s first appearance in Detective Conan coincides with Shinichi’s first return to his body after being poisoned. Because it’s much more than mere coincidence—Heiji’s presence is what literally draws Shinichi out. It’s unmistakably the alcohol Heiji brings that triggers the change.

[Image description: A screenshot from Episode 48 of Detective Conan. Heiji hands Conan a cup, saying, “Here ya go!” Conan holds the cup, answering, “Oh, thanks....” End image description.]

But in a more metaphorical sense, the fact that Heiji’s introduction, even prior to offering Conan a cup of baigar/paikal/baijiu, is so loudly and explicitly tied to locating his missing rival, can’t help but be meaningful to me. Heiji enters the series purely to find Shinichi, and he does. Practically instantly. Almost as if Shinichi physically cannot keep hiding behind Conan when Heiji is present.

I’m particularly fond of Heiji’s opening lines in FUNimation’s English dub because his words quickly become unambiguously directed to Shinichi. The third sentence he ever utters on the show is an emphatic, “Yo, [Kudo], can you hear me?”, which he then follows up with, “You can stop hiding now! I’m waiting!”

And Shinichi can’t seem to help doing just as Heiji says. Conan stumbles through the Mori Detective Agency door, and as Conan puts it later, when advising Ai to drink the baigar/paikal/baijiu in Episode 177, Heiji “[casts] the ultimate magic spell” on him. Just as Conan gets Ai out of the locked wine cellar, Heiji gets Shinichi out of Conan. He’s able to truly be himself, to solve a case as himself, for the first time since Episode 1. All because of Heiji.

[Image descriptions: Two screenshots from Episode 177 of Detective Conan. In the first image, Ai, wearing Conan’s glasses, holds a bottle of baigar/paikal/baijiu. In the second image, Conan, with an earphone and a microphone, smiles broadly. He says, “I’m going to get you out of that room. By casting the ultimate magic spell on you.” End image descriptions.]

Of course, that Heiji gives alcohol to a six-year-old he doesn’t even know is grossly inappropriate. But paradoxically, you could say that it’s exactly what he needed to do. There’s no way that Conan would have ever thought to drink alcohol, let alone baigar/paikal/baijiu specifically, as an antidote for his condition. But because Heiji seeks Shinichi out and places the cure in Conan’s hands, the wrong person isn’t imprisoned for the murder of Isao Tsujimura. Heiji himself doesn’t (generally) continue to treat unsolved crimes as games to win or lose. Ai doesn’t lose her life to the Black Organization when she’s held captive by Pisco. While Ran’s right and she should say it when she shouts Heiji out for his actions— even unhesitatingly calling him “conceited” and “thoughtless” in FUNimation’s English dub—it’s undeniable that those very actions drastically change and save lives, too.

I also take interest in how Conan genuinely does seem to view the baigar/paikal/baijiu he receives from Heiji as a magical panacea, directly implicating it as the basis for the temporary antidote he receives in “The Desperate Revival”:

[Image description: A screenshot from Episode 194 of Detective Conan. Conan, a hand over his chin in thought, walks beside Ai. He says, “I guess with only Paikaru’s ingredients, a full antidote can’t be made.” End image description.]

Notably, it is strongly implied that Conan isn’t fully correct here; Ai did manage to save the APTX 4869 drug data she transferred from Pisco’s computer, and that undoubtedly at least aided in the creation of a cure. Yet, the significance Conan places on the alcohol isn’t totally misplaced, either. If it weren’t for the baigar/paikal/baijiu, Ai likely never would have managed to procure that information in the first place.

And I know it’s an over-analysis, I do. But as much as I love that Heiji so quickly sees Conan for who he truly is, and how he always thinks of Shinichi as himself afterwards, I also love and think a lot about how Heiji’s gift—and by extension, Heiji himself—literally serves as the key to free Conan and Ai’s true selves. I think a lot about how Heiji is present near every time Shinichi returns to his own body, and how he’s right there supporting Shinichi when he struggles with the drug wearing off, and that the sole time Shinichi takes a temporary antidote in the films is for Kazuha and Heiji’s sake in Crossroad in the Ancient Capital, and I think a lot about all the implications of that, like how it seems to say, to me, that Heiji unlocked this door, and he’s darn well gonna be there on the other side of it, where Shinichi wants him to be!

It just. Really gets to me.

#detective conan #case closed #heiji hattori #conan edogawa #shinichi kudo #ai haibara #ramblings #analysis #spoilers #detco spoilers #alcohol mention #long post #this is probably an unpopular opinion but #the lack of heiji in the holmes arc is maybe a big contribution to my feeling that those are easily the weakest antidote!shinichi episodes #anyway i meant to post this like 20 hours ago with my self reblog but i kinda fell asleep writing it lol #soooo here it is just kinda hanging by itself i guess #not sure it makes the most sense but i have big feelings #also i have no idea what to call the alcohol; funimation's subs write it 'baigar' probably because of the writing on the bottle #but utb (united television broadcasting) who aired the show in california use 'paikal' probably because of the pronunciation #and also -other- writing on the bottle #and fansubs i've seen use anything from 'paical' to 'paikaru' to funimation's 'baigar'#the wiki uses 'baijiu' and that's a real alcohol but i have to wonder if the alcohol in the series is fictitious?#so anyway i chose three terms lol because idek #also also remember when conan was round....

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angelplummie · 3 years ago

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Okay so like for starterssssss, I love getting represented as a chubby gal 🥺🥺 so I love you for writing that last Oikawa imagineeeee 😩😩😩

Soooo, I was wondering if I could request a plus size reader that really likes Kuroo, (and he’s like a super cliché bad boy🤰🏽) but he’s too embarrassed to be seen with Y/n. So she starts to hit on his friend or try to make him jealous. (I want you to add your own little idea here! But likeee, make her a baddie 😘😘)

Thanks baby 😚

HE’S A SCUMBAG DON’T YOU KNOW

KUROO X CHUBBY F!READER

Angsty?? kinda, a pinch of suggestive stuff

masterlist

post girlboss was referring to

a/n:i decided to go for emo / anger issues / definitely has punched a hole in his wall kuroo, just cuz i love writing losers, and i love seeing grown men cry. reader is like 20/21 just like college age yk, kuroo is 23 as stated in fic. p.s where my artic monkey hoes at

warnings: swearing, mentions of sex n specific sexual acts, suggestive stuff, uhhh bad boy but he’s not a (bad boy) he’s just a (bad) (boy) he’s just no good, like no fr never date guys like this, he may SEEM COOL and give you the dick but girl you will be so embarrassed once u realised u gave up the kitty for a man that genuinely believes tame impala and mac demarco are unheard of and calls himself an empath even though he’s mean to his mum every time she comes over to help with the laundry and has manipulated every girl he’s ever been in the vicinity of but i digress! on with the story!

“Kuroo-!” you yelped in surprised, bed bouncing beneath you. The second he had thrown you down, he ripped off his shirt and made a noise of frustration when he couldn’t shed his skinny jeans fast enough. Brows furrowed, he began hopping furiously to yank them off.

You laughed, much to his annoyance.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself if you keep up with that. What’s the rush?”

He sighed, and carefully pulled them off his ankles. Standing up straight, he seemed to have composed himself, with that cocky smirk on his rugged face. Your eyes trailed down his lean, long body. It was all you could do not to scream, he was so gorgeous. He took a few sweeping steps to where you lay, and got right on top of you, hands either side of your head. His eyes bore into you, it made you squirm internally, not that you would ever admit it.

“Just want you so bad, kitten.”

You barked out a laugh as if your heart didn’t jolt at his stupid pet name. It was such a stupid name, but coming from him it made you melt. Again, not like you’d ever admit it.

“Ew, Tetsu don’t call me kitten, it’s cr-“

He cut you off by leaning down and kissing you, you could feel his snake bites against your bottom lip. He groaned softly, shoving his tongue down your throat. He tasted like his sour apple vape, and his hair was soft when you ran your fingers through it. You could barely contain your butterflies, eyes squeezed closed.

“Come on babe, you know you like it.”

No matter how many times you and Kuroo hung out, it always felt so fresh. Maybe it was because he was exciting, or because he was a little bit wild, you didn’t know.

He leaned down closer to you, getting on his elbows, deepening the kiss. He pulled away and smirked at your breathlessness. With a slender, ring adorned hand, he reached beneath your top and cupped your tits over your bra. He gave them a sharp squeeze and started placing chaste kisses on your neck. He was considerate like that, didn’t leave hickeys because he knew they’d be hard to cover for you. He groaned as he jiggled the fat of your boobs in his hands,

“God, you have the nicest tits, babe.”

You had been dating for nearly 3 months now, if that was what it was. To be honest, you weren’t really sure what you were. You hang out all the time at his or your place, there was rarely a time when you didn’t have an ache between your legs, one way or another. He didn’t really take you on ‘dates’ but chatting to him was fun in itself, you didn’t need to go out to do that. He didn’t necessarily say romantic stuff either... but he didn’t not say romantic stuff either? He beat up your ex at a party one time! That had to mean something right? He exactly wouldn’t tell you how he felt but he showed you, kissing your cheek or tilting your chin up to look at him or kissing your neck or feeling you up. But that usually led to sex, so you couldn’t be certain. It wasn’t like you only screwed though, you watched your favourite movies together... although the last couple times he just started fingering you. You showed him your playlists? No no, he showed you his playlists, his sex playlists. There seemed to be a common theme here. But... there were times, afterwards, when he would pull in you so tight, tell you how good you were for him, how well you did, how pretty you looked. Any doubts you had were gone after a few hushed words on his tobacco reeking rickety old bed. You’d never really had a relationship like this before, but you assumed it was just because Kuroo was so chill. You were probably boyfriend and girlfriend, he just didn’t feel the need to announce it, he was laidback like that. So what if you guys had a lot of sex? Weren’t you a new couple? Wasn’t this just the honeymoon stage were you can’t get your hands off each other? You didn’t want to seem high maintenance and nag, so you let it be. He was sweet enough to you, right now everything was good.

Until it wasn’t.

A clatter sounded downstairs, the door slamming open against the hallway wall.

“Kuroo! Hey man, I brought some California!”, a voice called from bellow.

Kuroo broke away immediately, spit trailing from your neck to his pink lips.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” Kuroo mumbled, pushing off the bed and scrambling the pick up his discarded clothes and shove them back on.

You sat up, disgruntled, rearranging your bra strap from were he’d kneaded at it.

“What’s wrong? Who is that?”

He shot you a glance before continuing to yank back on his jeans.

“Uh, so change of plan, I can’t do tonight. I need you to go home. Discreetly.”

What?

“What? Tetsu, I’m already here,” you scoffed.

What was going on?

Why was he acting like this?

You had never seen him so... frantic.

“I know babe, and I’m really sorry about that, but my friends are here early than I said.”

“So? Can’t I meet your friends?”

He didn’t reply for a moment, just let out an exasperated breath, zipping up his fly.

“Well, yeah you can meet them, just not with me. I don’t want them knowing that I-“

He cut himself off, but you had heard enough to understand.

There was a beat of silence, only disturbed by Kuroo’s friends calling for him.

Your mouth hung open, and you scoffed in shock.

You shouldn’t be surprised really. It’s so obvious now that you think about it. So that’s what this was. That explains everything. He didn’t really like you, he was just using you. That’s why he didn’t take you anywhere, or why he didn’t show you he cared. It was because he didn’t. He wasn’t “afraid of getting close to people” or “emotionally distant”, he was just upfront about not giving two shits about you aside from your vagina. I guess he didn’t want his friends to know he was furiously screwing a fat girl any chance he got. He was embarrassed of you. You were something to be ashamed of. Your stomach jerked as you got to your feet. You were pissed, but that didn’t mean it didn’t really hurt. You had liked him. A lot.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

You could see the panic in his eyes, it was quite funny actually. Of course you new what it meant, but it still made you feel a little better to watch his eyes widen like that, to hold a shred of power over him.

“I mean- well I didn’t- come on babe you know I didn’t mean it like that-“ he laughed nervously, not noticing the footsteps in the landing. You rolled your eyes. You may have been naive, but you certainly weren’t going to fall for his shit again. Whatever he spouted.

“Don’t give me that bullshit. Just say it, your embarrassed of me.”

“Y/N, please, don’t you think-“

Two men burst through the door, one with spiked grey hair and one with fluffy black hair.

“Kuroo! What the hell are you doing up here we’ve been-“ the grey haired one, stopped when his eyes went from a shirtless Kuroo to you.

Your eyes flickered to Kuroo, he looked mortified.

“Ah. I see. Well, Akaashi, we better give these two some time, we can just-“

“Oh no, I was just leaving,” you grabbed your jacket from on top of his chest of drawers and turned back to the two men, putting on a big smile, adrenaline and fury spurring you on.

“I’m Y/N, by the way.”

Your eyes shot to Kuroo, who looking like get was about to shit himself.

“You probably haven’t heard of me, me and Kuroo have actually been having sex for three months. He kept it a secret because he’s embarrassed of me. We should hang out soon though!”

“Y/N-!” Kuroo yelled, exasperation clear in his tone, but you were already descending the stairs.

He came into the hall, hands rubbing his temples.

“Y/N just come talk for a second, I can-“

But he was cut off by the door slamming.

You got in your car parked outside and sped away.

The whir of the engine and the monotony of the roads cleared your mind a bit, a mist of anger still remaining.

You can’t believe you let yourself be tricked. you were a fully grown woman, but you had been reeled in hook, line and sinker. Not only had you been reeled in, you have been reeled in by a man that still had tik tok LED lights in his room and a fucking monster can collection at the age of 24 fucking years old. The more you thought about him, the more you realised how much of an emo loser he was. Of course you were still hurting, but it was more of the angry hurt you feel when it turns out your crush is homophobic or something (been there done that, don’t ask). He was a waste of oxygen, you had decided by the time you made it back to your apartment. A waste of perfectly good space that could most definitely not get the kitty anymore. You got inside your house, pulled on some comfies and got on facetime with your friends.You told them all about what happened, and they passionately bitched about him with you, confirming your suspicion that they never liked him in the first place. They also told you to forget about his existence, he wasn’t worth a slither of your brain power, he was dirt compared to you. All in all, you felt marginally better, saying goodbye to your friends while they still giggled about how stupid Kuroo’s hair was.

This was just a speed bump, you thought as you tucked yourself into bed, you would get over this.

Fast.

“Who’s Bokuto been talking to all night?” Yamamoto leaned over to ask Lev, shouting over the blaring music.

It was a week after you had thrown Kuroo to the curb, and he was out with a couple of volleyball friends, some from Nekoma, but there was also Bokuto with them.

“I’m not sure. I think it’s Y/N something? She’s in class. She’s pretty chill.”

Kuroo’s ears perked up, and he turned around to face his friends up against the bar.

“Bokuto’s talking to who?” he said through gritted teeth.

“Y/N. She goes to my-“

“I know who Y/N is,” kuroo snapped, taking a swig of the beer in his hand and scanning the dance floor for either one of you. He found bokuto first, shoulder against the wall, holding a drink as he leant down to have you whisper something in his ear. That’s when Kuroo paid attention to you. You looked... you looked gorgeous. He felt jealousy creep up inside him. How many times had you been out looking like that since you broke things off? How many guys had you slept with since? How dare Bokuto chat you up when he knew you two had been a thing? Wasn’t he meant to be Kuroo’s friend? As Kuroo wound himself up, you and bokuto continued your extremely pleasant conversation.

“I just wanna say, sorry about Kuroo. He’s a real bonehead, but we’ve been friends since high school so I can’t ditch him.”

You snorted into your cocktail.

“What?”

“Bonehead?”

He frowned and straightened up indignantly.

“Yeah, and? What’s wrong with bonehead?”

“No no, nothing, it’s just very Legally Blonde.”

He beamed down at you.

“I love Legally Blonde!”

“You do? Me too!”

This big beefy man was very cute, you had been talking for nearly three hours now, but you never ran out of things to say. And, aside from the obligatory introduction compliments, he had not made any move to try and get you into a wendy’s bathroom as quick as possible, which you couldn’t say of yours and kuroo’s first meeting.

He had dreamy eyes, you noted as he smiled for the nth time that night.

“Whose your favourite-?”

“What the fuck are you doing man?”

You glanced scathingly over to the familiar face of your old fling.

“What?” Bokuto asked back, clearly done with his friends bad boy shtick.

“Why are you talking to her when... when you know?”

“What’s there to know? I’m talking to her because I want to, and she wants to.”

He looked over to you for approval.

“Right?”

You nodded, a little nervous. You hated Kuroo’s guts, but you knew how weirdly possessive he was, you didn’t wanna cause trouble for Bokuto.

“See? Now I don’t think she wants to see you, right?”

He looked at you again. You nodded again.

“Ok? You guys are over, now are we done?”

Kuroo huffed. His eyes flitted from Bokuto to you, remembering you were there most likely, and he scowled.

“No, we aren’t done, what are you trying to pull anyway? Trying to piss me off by talking to someone I know? Are you really that petty? Well, your little plan is working, so just-just stop, ok?”

You felt like screaming. You had just come out here to have a nice time, not listen to Kuroo’s narcissistic whining.

“Can you just fuck off? Was I not clear enough or something? You’re dead to me, Kuroo. I’m just trying to have a nice night.”

Kuroo’s mouth gaped open. He had never been spoken to like that, never. He clenched his fists at his sides and his glare intensified.

“You’re lucky I gave you the time of day, fat ugly slut.”

He grabbed Bokuto’s shoulder roughly, turning him to face him completely.

“Hey man, thanks for clearing up my sloppy seconds, really good of you. Good to know I’ve got great friends like you.”

Those were the last things out of Kuroo’s mouth before bokuto landed a punch on his cheek, knocking him to the ground.

“You’re a fucking asshole man,” Bokuto grunted.

He stepped over where Kuroo lay, and held out a hand for you to step over too. You took it quietly and trailed along behind him to the door, fingers still locked. His hands were warm, and big. Kuroo’s face must hurt right now. The thought made you smile. He held the door open for you before sighing, resting his back against the wall. You stood in front of him, twiddling with your fingers.

“I am so sorry about that,” You apologised, embarrassed and shaken by the scene Kuroo had made, “I shouldn’t have wound him up, and I shouldn’t have talked to you after I knew you guys were friends, I promise I didn’t mean to start anything.”

“Don’t be, if anything I’m sorry for not making him leave right away. And either way,” he gently reached for your hand again, and you let him take it,”I’m glad you talked to me. I’d like it if you talked to me even more.”

DISCLAIMER FOR KUROO STANS!!!! I DONT THINK HIS HAIR IS STUPID!!! it’s just when ur bestie is going thru a break up or anything entailing a male you shit talk everything about him to high hell, doesn’t matter if he’s the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. also i have no ill will towards kuroo nor any of the characters i write shit bag fan fics about i just like to complain any way i hope you enjoyed! reblogs and replies always appreciated!!!

#haikyu x reader #haikyu x y/n #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu!!#hq x y/n #haikyu angst #haikyuu angst #hq angst #hq x reader #angst #kuroo x reader #kuroo smut #kuroo angst #kuroo tetsurou #bo x reader #haikyuu x chubby reader

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tundrainafrica · 4 years ago

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some of the aot fans (probably just casual readers) don't see the parallels between EM and LH???? like the brunettes desire to live with their ackermans together in the woods? they call levihan shippers delusionals. their attacking levihans that they didn't read the manga well and we just want our ship to be canon??? WTH????

I keep wondering if it's just us, levihans, who see these parallels?

im sorry for this rant, it's just soooo frustrating. Basically the reason why i leave twt lol not yet, im still there bcoz of lh filo socmed aus

I have so many things I wanna say about chapter 138 and I am so sorry I only got to it now. I think most Levihan fans already said what I wanted to say but either way, I’ll just give some thoughts I entertained when these came out.

Coz first of all…

As a Levihan shipper, I am obviously ecstatic about this but as most people know, I come from a household where everyone is not too enthusiastic about Levihan. They are so very enthusiastic about INVALIDATING LEVIHAN in particular that my sister and my parents who don’t even watch AOT just come up to me while I’m staring at Levihan art on tumblr and go…

“What are you doing?”

“Staring at art.”

“Oh, is that the one couple you like who don’t even love each other or smthg.”

Cause apparently my sisters who watch AOT and my boyfriend have been SO vocal about invalidating Levihan that even my parents now are on ship that they aren’t even a thing and I’m just delusional but yes, since I live in a house where literally ‘shipping Levihan’ is on the same level as ‘the curtains are blue so the narrator is sad’ type of interpretation, I will start by mentioning a more pragmatic argument to this whole Levihan and Eremika parallel.

While I am one of those who can definitely see that yes those were clear parallels, there are some louder people( mostly Eruri shippers) who think that LH fandom is just grasping on straws and trying to diminish their supposedly canon ship( because EL and EM ackerbonding thing) so I was wondering what is your view on this?

So, to break down the argument...

It’s a war story blah blah blah. And besides Mikasa loved Eren from the start blah blah blah.

I think this is an argument I see a lot. Because Yams is writing a war story and I think a lot of people are suggesting that it’s a war story here is no way anyone can be canon or anyone can have romantic relationships.

AND I HATE THIS TAKE. Relationships are human nature. Yes, being arromantic exists but I don’t believe that in a fictional space, romance can ever NOT exist. Because most---or scratch that--- I believe all humans will search for companionship and I do not believe it is ever reaching to jump from whatever companionship exists between people and contemplate the potential of romance, except incest but that’s another story.

Yeah because if there’s no kiss or sex then it’s not a romance apparently.

Well guess what, we’re all reaching then, cause only Eren and Mika got the kiss. But lemme drop some social experiment I did.

I actually showed the Eremika and Levihan ‘Let’s live together scenes’ side by side to a colleague at work who doesn’t watch AOT and she told me, WITHOUT CONTEXT, that she prefers the scene between Levihan more than Eremika and the reason behind that is because there were undertones, specifically in the Korean translation’ that Hange was tired, and there’s this apparent romantic-ness to it when you dream of something when you’re tired and when you dream of a particular someone.

Because here’s the thing, when you love someone, when you decide to be in a relationship with someone, that person will be your HOME. And now that I think about it, it definitely hits for me more, because when Hange was tired, when Hange was completely exhausted and spent, she dreamt of a future with Levi.

And don’t you think that it’s more romantic that ‘despite everything, she thinks of him’ compared to ‘she constantly thinks of him?’ Because I dunno, when someone is constantly thinking of someone, there’s actually no effort really needed for the feeling to grow, but when ‘they think of someone, despite everything.’ There’s this idea that the relationship can withstand more things and that means they thought long and hard about it.

Their life is so interesting and eventful, yet at the end of the day, there exists someone who still shines brighter than life itself and that’s why ‘Despite everything, she thinks of him’ rings brighter than ‘she constantly thinks of him’ for me at least.

Probably a personal preference thing but either way… Just my take.

Western people don’t consider running away ‘romantic?’

This is something I’ve discussed with filo moots multiple times and this is something I’ve thought about reading the Japanese and English translations, reading the Filipino Soc Med AUs and having my friend read the Korean ones.

The Japanese and Koreans are quick to see the romantic undertones, a lot of my Filipino moots are quick to see those romantic undertones too. But we have the western fandom on Reddit going ‘Yo Erehisu foh evah’ and people saying ‘Levihan not canon they didn’t kiss.’

But YO both of my parents are ‘tanan’ (runaway in tagalog) babies. My mom actually ran away with a man and wasn’t allowed to talk to her dad until she graduated. My dad disobeyed his parents to marry my mom. They were setting my dad up with another woman and they were going to have a big wedding and everything but my dad was like…

NOPE Imma run away and marry this woman.

And can I just say, my parents are the MOST unromantic people but they literally disobeyed their parents, ran away together, literally risked their relationships with their parents to make it work.

And my parents are one of the few people in their family who are still in a happy relationship even after 25 years of marriage.

Okay, I admit, sometimes running away is a dumb decision and shouldn’t constantly be romanticized.

But I don’t think a lot of people understand the gravity of what ‘tanan’ entails. Legit, it was emphasized in 138 already, if Eren ran away, Paradis could have been overrun by military soon. And if Hange and Levi ran away to the woods, ‘what would there have been left for them?

And in real life, my mom literally gave up her relationship with her dad to try to make the relationship work. My dad gave up the comforts of marrying a rich woman in a lavish wedding to marry my mom.

They literally had a civil wedding, went out to eat Chinese noodles and China town as a post wedding meal and 25 years later, they have one of the strongest relationships I’ve ever seen.

AND NO ONE RUNS AWAY WITH SOMEONE FOR THE LELZ. So yes, running away with someone will always be romantic for me.

And the Ackerbond?

Something I always find myself asking. Why do people want the Ackerbond to actually be a thing? Because if the Ackerbond were real, then wouldn’t that invalidate all Eruri and Eremika even more since we know they’re just trapped in the relationship like Stockholm syndrome or something?

And besides didn’t Yams debunk that chapters ago?

Anyway, onto the next questions

hi sav! i have a question about the recent chapter. do you think the em and lh parellels were done on purpose by isayama?

And to answer this question… I am not so sure actually. I talked to a Japanese friend who grew up in the same prefecture as Yams, apparently it was her acquaintance from high school who married Yams and they were childhood sweethearts.

So maybe Yams got it from them? My memory on that convo is hazy but it’s only possible that he built Eremika from there. And Levi and Hange’s development is just incredibly different that I don’t think Yams thought that far to do it.

My theory here is that Yams is writing a war story and he only has one way he could have ever shown romance in a war story and that’s through ‘running away’ so I believe the parallels are unintentional but I genuinely believe that this was Yam’s way of showing romantic undertones.

And I personally do not think that Levi and Hange would have ever kissed in that time in their life, at least intentionally and I hoenstly commend Yams for doing such a good job with the subtlety of the romance because I’ve literally seen so many great characters in other stories completely butchered by a poorly done romantic subplot so I aint complaining about these romantic undertones.

But either way,

I hang in the Japanese fandom a lot and there have been lots of fandom discussion on Levihan becoming endgame if 132 didn’t happen. And there are actually articles on this putting Levihan as endgame along with Eremika so I’m kinda suspecting that invalidating Levihan is an anime-only fan and reddit fandom type of thing.

But anyway, thank you for reading, sorry for the long rant.

#levihan #meta

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nymph1e · 4 years ago

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Okay fuck it, I gotta give in, I gotta watch through Supernatural. AFAIK, it's all on Netflix; at least I saw it on there in passing. Going into this, is there anything I should be aware of? Are there any episodes I should skip, any seasons? Should I start from season 4? I know the basic plot and concept, and I know it's very monster-of-the-week. But aside from me highkey shipping Destiel already, that's all.

Well my first piece of advice would be

but uh, let’s fucking ~GO~

If you’re actually jumping into this hellhole (why why why) don’t start at season 4. It’s tempting, but seasons 1-3 are some of the best shit in the whole show, also having context for Sam and Dean’s characters, and their relationship with the supernatural up to season 4 really highlights how fucking wild the introduction of angels is in the show. it’s basically a complete paradigm shift.

I would recommend you watch seasons 1-5 basically as is, though if you’re in a rush, season three is kinda skippable as long as you read a general synopsis. This is the original arc of the show and it shows. A friend of mine, @sammwinchestersdimples has said she’d have been fine if the show had ended there, and I can totally see her point. After season five things start to get... uhhhhh... not as good. THAT BEING SAID some really amazing seasons come later, and you’d get nowhere NEAR the Full Destiel Experience without them. What REALLY sucks is that all the seasons have good moments in them, so even if the seasons are generally bad, they’ll have episodes of GOLD. But fuck it, here’s a season-by-season breakdown.

Season 6 - This is the first... “eh” season. There’s a lot of character choices made in this one that I don’t like. The plot also doesn’t quite seem to know what to do with itself and it has no real main villain... or I guess it has a twist villain? This is also the season where they start chucking in the typical “no homos” you get when a show is queerbaiting, so they can point to the no homo bits and claim the queers are delusional.

Season 7 - The absolute WORST season, imo, is season 7, and it features Cas the least out of all the post season 4 seasons. You can tell the writers genuinely tried to write Cas off here. Not to mention the main plot is completely stupid. HOWEVER this is the season where we get golden things like Cas showing up to Dean’s prayer naked and covered in bees, and the episode where Charlie (best girl) is introduced and Dean subsequently has to flirt with a dude because she, a lesbian, cannot. (Wow so straight, Dean)

Episodes Not To Skip:

6x03 - A good Cas/plot episode (spot the famous destiel quote)

6x04 - A good all-round episode, also Jackles directed it so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

6x09 - This is one of the Batshit Episodes. Definitely watch.

6x10 - On the one hand, Cas episode. On the other, no homo, megstiel episode. Your choice.

6x11 - Good episode.

6x15 - THE ULTIMATE META EPISODE. Sam and Dean are teleported into Jared Padelecki and Jensen Ackles’ lives on the set of Supernatural and it is so batshit.

6x17 - Jolly good episode, and nice destiel content.

6x18 - Time travel episode, which is always fun.

6x19 - “Baby in a trenchcoat.” ‘Nough said.

6x20 - The Man Who Would Be King is the destiel episode. It is infamous in the fandom, and for good reason. It’s not just a good destiel episode, but one of the best episodes in the series. With banging lines like “Freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it.” and “For a brief moment, I was me again.”

6x21 & 6x22 - The last two episodes are kind of must-watches after TMWWBK, trust me.

Episodes Not To Skip:

7x01 & 7x02 - follows on from s6 final. You don’t wanna skip.

7x05 - Good general episode

7x06 - Again, good general episode. Sets ups plot for the season.

7x08 - Ugh. So the A plot for this episodes invoves Becky, the insane, stalker, fandom-insert character, roofie Sam into marrying her (and it’s heavily implied they have sex - and it’s treated as a joke despite being LITERAL RAPE). BUT this is the episode where Garth is introduced and Garth is fucking amazing. So. IDEK.

7x10 & 7x11 - Plot important.

7x12 - Time travel episode! See if you can catch the bi!dean moment ;)

7x17 - Cas is back! Or is he???

7x18 - GARTH EPISODE

7x20 - CHARLIE!!!! WATCH THIS EPISODE!!!!

7x21 - Cas episode. It’s... interesting.

7x22 - The tagline for this episode is “Sam and Dean seek out an Alpha” 😭. It’s a Cas episode.

7x23 - If Cas weren’t in this episode I’d say skip it.

Season 8 - A fantastic season. If The Man Who Would Be King is the destiel episode, season 8 is the destiel season. When you watch this, DM me so I can RANT about all the amazing destiel this season. It’s also, again, a great season in general I remember watching it as it was airing it was soooo good. You have the arrival of the Bunker, you have Kevin and Charlie being awesome, some nice sprinkles of batshit episodes, BEST BOY BENNY rocks up in all his glory. Fucking epic season. Only downside it Sam’s character takes a bit of a dive. I’d recommend you watch through all of this season.

Episodes To AVOID:

7x13 - I literally pretend this stupid fucking episode doesn’t exist. Basically Dean impregnates a woman with Super Pregnancy and she has a daughter who becomes an adult within hours and then dies. The end. Everyone hated it. Man fuck this episode. Of course it was written by Buckleming.

Season 9 - Sadly, after how amazing season 8 was, and how spectactularly season 9 was set up, this season is a disappointment. It’s an ok season. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it’s just a bit all over the place.

I was going to give you the normal episode list to not skip, but looking through, most episodes this season should be watched for one reason or another. Either they’re Cas heavy, they do some interesting character building, or they feature one of the awesome side characters like Charlie or Jody.

This season is probably the height of the war in the writers’ room about destiel. Some writers want to no homo the whole thing and back way off, while other writers want to lean into it hard. So in the same season where SPOILER Cas loses his virginity to a random reaper woman and Dean kicks Cas out of the bunker to fend for himself, you also have Cas’ fatal flaw used as propaganda against him by Metatron being that he’s "in love” with humanity Dean. /SPOILER Whatever you do DON’T SKIP THE FINAL FEW EPISODES. TRUST ME.

Season 10 - Haha oh dear. This season is likely the biggest for wasted potential. You saw the end of season 9, right? You go “HOLY SHIT YES LET’S DO THIS” and then they do... season 10. They really became experts at setting up an awesome season only to fuck it up in delivery, right? Again, not a bad season, per se.

Episodes To AVOID:

9x05 - In which Dean wants to fuck a dog. I am not joking. I wish I were. Basically a spell-gone-wrong makes Dean doglike. it’s weird. it’s batshit. Not the good kind.

Season 11 - Season 11 is a pretty good season! They tried to give Dean a female love interest but Jackles said ✨No✨ and played Dean as brainwashed and uncomfortable the whole time and I love him for it. Of special note this season is the episode Baby (11x04), which is my favourite episode in the series! It’s funny, it’s heartwarming, it’s weirdly shot. I love it! We also get casifer this season which is awesome! Some episodes are skippable, but they’re generally good episodes.

Episodes NOT to Skip (ignore the 10 year special):

10x01 & 10x02 - Great episodes, Dean in this is *chefs kiss*.

10x04 - *sighs* Fan Fiction. A 200th episode that is simultaneously a love letter to fans and laughing in fans’ faces. I’ve never liked this episode for the second-hand embarressment of it all, but you should watch it and see if you like it.

10x06 - Pretty good episode.

10x07 - Jody AND Donna! Fantastic episode!

10x08 - Dadstiel rears his ugly head. I fucking love how Cas adopts two (2) kids over the course of the series and in both cases Dean eventually goes “ah fuck, I guess I gotta co-parent this thing”. Also we get some KILLER destiel this episode. hey go on a DATE and Cas tells Dean he’s a good person ^_^

10x09 - Good episode. Much destiel.

10x10 - Charlie episode!

10x11 - Teen!Dean! Need I say more?

OK so I just had a look, and you really just need to watch every episode from this point in the season on. Enjoy!

Season 12 - Another example of a TERRRIBLE season, is season 12. Season 12 is also one of the most destiel-heavy seasons in the show. You see the issue? Like, it’s got a stupid plot that makes no sense and has no fucking cohesion, but you also FINALLY have the writers going “fuck it” and all in on the destiel. After this point Dean never has another non-Cas love interest and vice versa, they stop giving us whiplash from baiting and no-homoing. IF the conspiracy theory is true, and the end of the show is shit because of executive meddling, this season is the one where the writers decided they were gonna push for destiel endgame.

I gotta tell you the truth, I skipped this season in my rewatch, so all of my memories are from years ago when it first came out. This seson was the last that I watched live (for a reason). Should you skip it? No. But I’m not well informed enough about this season that I can point out what episodes you should or should not watch.

Season 13 - Congratulations! You’ve reached the point where the show’s gotten consistently good again! (just in time for most of the audience to have already left lol). We start off with SPOILERS Dean mourning Cas like he’s lost the will to fucking live. I’m talking complete despondence, praying for Cas to come back, lashing out in anger at everything, one of the darkest points we’ve ever seen him at on the show, then pulling a 180 and being super happy the second Cas comes back. /SPOILERS They also introduce Jack, who is the SECOND child Cas decides to adopt and Dean ends up co-parenting (Sam too). In fact, Jack is explicity Sam, Cas, and Dean’s kid.

Season 14 - Another good one. My only issue is where they decided to take the plot at the end of the season. I’d recommend watching it all, regardless.

Season 15 - And so we’ve come to the end of the line. This season was... well it was actually pretty good. It started off with what we hellers lovingly refer to as the “divorce arc” where Cas and Dean have a big blow up, and Cas leaves, but that ends with Dean praying on his knees for forgiveness and a nice hug. Honestly this season you can cut the tension between the two of them like a knife, and you can tell Misha and Jensen were doing it deliberately.

I’d say watch up until 15x18, then you decide what to do with the last two episodes. If you want you can watch them to understand just why people put their conspiracy theory hats on, or you can send me another ask and I’ll rec you some post 15x18 finale fics! There’s one fic that’s a replacement for 15x20 written in script format that is particularly good.

Anyway that’s it. It’s kind of left me a little sad, to break down the show in this way. Especially coming up to season 15 nd remembering all the wasted potential. Honestly if you do decide to watch the show, good luck. I hope you enjoy it. I’m also glad you never had to be put through the bullshit false hope that came about after 15x18.

#supernatural #destiel #deancas #spn

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reynie-muldoons · 3 years ago

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'Depends on the Wagon' liveblog!

I saw someone do timestamps in their liveblog and it was absolutely lovely, so I think I'll try that too

1:55 why does Curtain sound like an mlm ceo LMAO

2:07 WOW ASSHOLE 😂😂 waving off your own teacher when he was complimenting you is not the vibe

2:17 so Dr. Curtian is only available through chain emails. Got it.

2:27 he seems like the kind of asshole to say that people on welfare are lazy and exploitave but then like, not pay his taxes

2:42 I DON'T LIKE HOW HE SAID THAT, THAT WAS CREEPY

2:47 oooooh Constance, always asking the right questions

3:05 Kate, why are you yelling, it's literally past curfew 😂

3:35 oh hai Jackson.. gtfo

4:22 oh yeah, the best way out is through the hallway that Jackson just entered. Good plane, babe.

4:25 soooo Kate Depending On Friends arc :)

4:59 AYYY HI RHONDA!!

5:13 why do I kinda fucking love then all deciphering the Morse code together

5:20 so the kids use the gemini riddle? Not the adults???

5:36 his face when he figures it out 😭😭😭

5:46 Nathaniel? Guess that's Dr. Curtain's name now. Less ridiculous than Ledroptha, but you dont get the badass Let Drop the Curtain reference

6:53 okay so no one knew he had a brother? But he did???

7:21 his faaaace 🥺

7:29 AWWW HE COULDNT BRING HIMSELF TO SHARE 😭😭😭 okay I'm kinda on board with the change if they can make it work in the long-haul

7:42 hi Milligan, good timing 😂

7:56 "not the time.........I'll take a dozen" Number Two my LOVE

8:23 interesting. I dont think Mr. Benedict was adopted in the books? He certainly didn't let Violet's family, the Hopefields, because he knew their financial troubles would be even worse. So who?

8:54 ohhhh dear, stages of grief at work. Maybe don't do that

9:05 I talked about this in the MBS discord server, but I think the show is really nailing Mr. Benedict's feelings. He's always been an emotional person, but he has to be so careful. Bottling up your feelings only leads to bigger feelings later. It makes so much sense for Mr. Benedict to be a whirlpool of strong, repressed emotions.

9:11 MILLIGAN'S FACE JAHAHS

9:34 RHONDA'S FACE HAGSKDGDJ

9:40 Mr. Benedict, sweetheart 🥺❤

10:01 "brothers stick together" why does it sound like he's talking about Reynie here 😭😭😭😭

10:12 that is a good ass point, Mr. Benedict already lied to them once

10:21 it makes sense for Sticky to be the one questioning the most because of his anxiety, but damn

10:46 AWWWWWW

10:56 KATE MAKING A BED FORT KATE MAKING A BED FORT KATE MAKING A BED FORT

11:00 I dont like how aggressive Kate is but it makes sense considering she's been in the circus for years, taking care of herself for far longer than she hasn't. She's not good at depending on people, and she's not good with difficult people.

11:10 Yeahh, Constance gets it!

11:40 Yeahhh, Constance gets it

12:55 that teacher seemed pretty nice last episode, nice to see that they're not what they seem just the same as Dr. Curtain lol

13:28 CONSTANCE I LOVE YOU 😂😂

14:00 "check again" okay so Krista from the tests and Martina give off the same vibe.. perfect 😂

14:16 "yeah......hang in there :D"

15:05 all of the apologies to the general class.. he's such an anxious sweetheart. He's really reading as autistic to me.

My sister just called me 😑 it's like 8 am, I answered her like "did you ever consider that you might be waking me up?" She did not consider that 😂

15:22 Martina's face just growing more and more annoyed and disgruntled HAHA

15:29 that was CORRECT?? WHAAAA

15:51 throwback to when I compared Dr. Curtain to an mlm ceo.. definitely like a cult

16:44 ohhhh Martina

17:30 CONSTANCE HEARING VOICES HELLOOOOO

18:22 ayyyyyy helper man

18:40 he seems too cheery to be a helper .-. The helpers all being super sad made [redacted]'s story make a whole lot more sense

19:35 aaaand now we get to it. You know, it really does seem a lot more cultish on screen than in the book

19:53 WAIT CONSTANCE GOOD JOB PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER 😂😂😂😂

19:53 that cut to Milligan making that exact face was INCREDIBLE

20:05 was he tryna leave? Yeah, good fuckin luck bucko

20:10 "critical papers at home" my ass, they packed everything up

20:24 the stages of grief back at it. 🥺

20:38 their relationship >>>>

21:00 "located in the..?" *description of envelope* "located in the....?" *more description* "located in the????" 😂😂😂😂

21:34 ohhhhh Thursday must be the student ranking day

21:56 Martina seems like the kind to throw out "pick a god and pray" as a crit quote 😂

22:07 I don't see any of the Society'a names on the list. Maybe they havent been there long enough

22:17 OH SHIT JK THERE THEY ARE

22:25 ohh Kate and Constance

22:55 the combination of the ferry horn and the bell makes it weirdly grim

23:55 them bringing Kate up and reminding her that she's needed 😌✨

24:29 hi Milligan bb ilyyyy

24:35 real good lookout guys, y'all are so well hidden

24:52 AYY HE'S DOING IT KATE STYLE

26:31 "visionary" is a word for it

26:31 I really kinda love that Number Two and Rhonda are going to such depths to try and help Mr. Benedict figure this out for sure

26:56 Mr. Benedict fully walking away while they talk about his brothers accomplishments 😂 I'm laughing, but poor guy

27:08 his FACE 🥺

27:28 HERE'S THAT TANTRUM FROM THE TRAILER

27:28 take your guesses how many times will he fall asleep

27:50 "he just has to work through some things" you dont fuckin say

27:55 you mean to tell me he had a full blown meltdown and they didn't show him falling asleep once??

28:35 like father like daughter 😌✨

29:10 ayyyy secret desk compartment

29:19 honestly I'm surprised there were actually papers he needed and it wasnt an excuse to go confront Dr. Curtain

29:32 oh shit, how'd they manage to get that far inside? No one was there to guard it, but the maze itself is a security measure

29:42 KATE STYLE STRIKES AGAIN

29:47 ooooh I like Dr. Curtain's office

30:01 WAS THAT SQ AND DID HE JUST CALL DR. CURTAIN HIS DAD

30:41 birds have careers. Got it 😂

30:50 JOURNAAAL

31:02 the fox?? Reynard the fox???

31:27 ohhh here we go, Dr. Curtain sees himself in Reynie only to resent it later

31:37 Mr. Benedict called Reynie a leader once too.. the parallels have ✨begun✨

32:12 is this the "keep your enemies close" conversation??

32:15 I'm honestly surprised he called him Sticky and not George

32:42 IT IS SQ IT IS SQ IT IS SQ

32:59 sooo that starts by not letting his caution down with you

33:11 Dr. Curtain congratulating himself mid-conversation on saying something deep is so in character

33:20 "I was betrayed by someone very close to me" so that was Mr. Benedict. Who the fuck else would it be

33:23 WHAT DID I SAAAAY

33:31 oh noooo Reynie starts doubting Mr. Benedict here? Is that the move?

33:43 that transition was so pretty stoppp

33:53 again how hasn't he fallen asleep

34:55 ayyyy journal snooping

35:05 Constance, my love, you are cut throat

35:11 Milligan is in the DRYWALL? ohh buddy be careful

35:21 omfg are they talking about water polo 😂 I love that that's the sport of choice

35:51 ayyyy they put the Milligan dots together too. Shame the guy's not with them rn

36:36 so Mr. Benedict brings up cheating first? I really like how we get to see the adults riddling out what to send back, we didn't get that at all in the books

37:46 I LOVE THAT THEY KEPT "don't get caught"

38:51 Kate riddling out the island schematics engineer style is so like her

39:07 they're just walking out the door?? Huh???

39:29 babe... turn off your flashlight

39:33 AND THAT'S WHY

39:58 is that the precursor to chuckroot?

40:38 the papers were from his orphanage 🥺🥺🥺

41:14 why does that break my heart

41:19 Dr. Curtain and SQ doing shit together it just.. so heartwarming

42:00 HAHA

42:16 okay, so show!Curtain is a kissass 😂

42:35 wait wait wait so Dr. Curtain is actively trying to contain his brother? That would explain why the Recruiters were looking for him and weirdly not the kids

43:25 "power wants to be free" sounds more like a personal mantra than a conversation between engineers

43:41 YES A LETTER TO MISS PERUMAL

44:02 more voices. Poor Connie girl 🥺

44:36 he loves her so much 😭😭😭

44:45 SHE TRIED TO SEND HIM A CARE PACKAGE

45:13 WORRIED MOM TIMEEE

#mbs liveblog #mbs disney+#depends on the wagon #mysterious benedict society #charity's talkies

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years ago

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@uberoll-oystercrackers putting this PT convo on blast just for the sake of switching to this format where u don’t have to break everything up via replies because [comically deep inhale]

honestly like idc idc i guess ppl are just like “uhh mytho’s got nothing going on b/c he has no feelings!!” like Yeah Correct, that’s a premise / inciting factor for this series and everything everyone’s doing lol, it’s only Boring if you don’t think about the character at all lmfao which i guess some ppl don’t, but like, there’s only 4 of them.....it’s Wildly Interesting that he literally has no feelings at first, like, for one thing it’s cool how there’s always the Idea of characters who don’t have emotions or act on them, but this is like the rare “realistic” situation where having no feelings means he needs someone to steer him around and make choices for him (and how Vulnerable that leaves him lmfao like episode 2 is wild but also that ppl just haven’t really realized that they Could just pick mytho up and pitch him into a wall, and fakir and rue are sort of careful neutral alliance keeping tabs on him) and you know, the whole s1 structure of mytho regaining both Capacity For / Experience of An Emotion and his sense of identity and by extent of all this his agency, and how like, Thematic everything surrounding this character is that’s reflected in the overall series like. trying to control someone for your own benefit vs being willing to sacrifice your own interests (and then some...) for their freedom & the Protecting Someone (And/Or Wanting To) As A Love Language that all the characters show for each other at various points & hope vs despair.......and like No Shit he’s dispassionate & passive b/c he can’t Feel Feelings & resultantly can’t make decisions or feel motivations but obviously he’s still Motivating other characters to act on his behalf, & there’s so much mystery & drama already in “yeah this guy you think is just a neat handsome guy is also an actual prince from a story who’s Real & sacrificed his heart in the fight with an evil giant raven monster that eats people & so he can’t feel anything or remember who he is” like damn!!! epic of him even if right now he can’t do much of anything on his own. i’m interested, and then i’m Interested every time in the Drama & Mystery of this person regaining parts of himself and completely rediscovering An Emotional Experience and how that is totally recontextualizing his entire existence for him.....

plus also even though “person literally lost heart via magic and doesn’t know what Feeling Things is” isn’t a We’ve All Been There situation i was like oh and you know it’s not like what mytho’s got going on isn’t potentially Relatable....can get into a side essay about dapressione and trauma and other types of stuff that can make it seem like someone can’t/shouldn’t have full access to their feelings / self / agency &/or it’s Dangerous if they try.....whew

but continuing on YEAH ugh just completely fascinated with mytho the Entire Time actually lol like, i’ve tended to lose steam in early s2 b/c he’s sort of Less involved beyond the [hehe time to cause some trouble in this particular ep] role lol but even so it’s like well it’s kinda fun when at least somebody’s being a bitch who lives for drama lmfaooooo & we get mytho Struggling Internally & sometimes punching through that way but again it’s like yeah oops the guy was basically autonomous but zwoop here’s a problem where that doesn’t mean shit anymore lol b/c he’s got this alternate evil self steering the ship all the time now lol got em.....the Peak of that i guess is where we get to have an epic swordfight between raven!mytho and fakir like you know what fuck yes!!! the intrinsic drama of that lmfao!!!! and then it’s like “oh no :/ loving the drama? that’s just what drosselmeyer wants” except Not b/c actually what makes it totally rule is that it’s this chance for Real Mytho to come through for the sake of protecting fakir (tbt “i wonder what i think of you, fakir”...) and really like that being what prompts fakir’s “you know what, even though before i was afraid my role as a knight would kill Me and i’m afraid my coincidental(?) role as a guy who can Reality Write could kill Anyone Else, i gotta try b/c that’s the only thing i could possibly do here and i want to try protecting everyone else b/c everyone else including mytho is protecting Me” and like augh everyone is so Thoughtful about how to try to help mytho out even as like, they can’t hardly interact with him or undo the situation lol.....as you’re getting into the series finale and everyone’s just outright Voicing things and you get “i/we want to protect mytho” like 32x and it’s beautiful each time ;___; like and well sorry but him & his heart/lack of are also the heart of the whole story here.....

and you know what *i* want to protect mytho, sympathizing with all the characters like fuck yes you’re so right, this guy rules, episode 6 aka The Fear Episode is SO good, like, you’ve gotten kinda used to the episodic format here, ep 5 did sure also make it obvious that things are Building on what’s happening prior here & that there’s stakes and stuff but it’s such a shakeup, like, that maybe just kinda sneakily dipping in and out of the arena giving back a piece of his heart until it’s done with, no problem, Isn’t Gonna Happen, and again, the Drama of it all......that the heart shards are yeah kind of their own People who are these fractions of mytho’s self and the way you interact with them is gonna like, affect things, since tutu didn’t like “resolve” things with that heart shard and just kinda got him on a technicality there lmfao so it’s like, yeah not only does mytho have a more general / abstract cause to be afraid of tutu & her bringing all these Unknowns & completely new things to him / changing things up and apparently introducing conflict, but you’ve gone and gotten his capacity for fear all recently riled up and specifically afraid of his interaction with You from 5 sec ago, and how could anyone know this mysterious magical being giving you Negative Feelings is like, Safe......and i’m sure it’s all compounding here, like, it’s Wild to be suddenly experiencing A Feeling for the (seeming) first time, and that in itself sure could be Scary, he just hasn’t had the proper emotion available with with to Be Afraid, now he’s gotten back a freshly stoked (capacity for) Fear and how off the shits it must be to be afraid for the first time anyways, or to be feeling the other stuff for the first time, and who knows what Unfun Feelings could come next, there’s a lot to freak out about.......and not like it’s trying That hard to never suggest like oh fakir's not that bad even though he’s technically an antagonist at the start b/c of being at odds with / against the protagonist, it’s pretty telling there lol like he’s unhappy with mytho having feelings again at all and has already been getting mad about it but is just being Helpful here and trying to comfort him, like aw that’s neat i think it’s nice, and again throwing it back to “I Wonder What I Think Of You, Fakir” you get fakir reassuring mytho that nobody but him is around, and mytho having this capacity for Fear is choosing to confide in fakir re: what he’s dealing with here (not that this would on it’s own be some guarantee that mytho’s Right to be unafraid of fakir, but, knowing all we eventually know...) like again lol it’s funny that drosselmeyer’s loving the Drama of mytho only having regained Negative Feelings like, i mean i’m soaking it in as well but it’s like, that guy’s all about Angst and it’s like no im here all about the Hurt/Comfort more like, thank you lmfao

it’s also SO good how it’s like, the next episode is turning around & giving the story a way forward not by like, oh let’s just counteract this Fear mytho’s struggling with by returning the....emotion of Courage i guess, but rather by giving him back Curiosity to ultimately lead to him actually seeking a conversation with tutu.......and it’s like AUGH it’s soooo fun that he goes to that river and has a conversation with his own heart shard lmfao like that’s you!!! and that You does not realize you’re them!!! that’s wild and i love it......wait i took low res screenshots when i rewatched this a few weeks ago lmfao

i Love it lmfao like it’s Such a good choice to have him not only have lost his Emotions but also memories / knowledge of who he, himself, even is.....like yeah man it was all on you to fight this heart eating raven monster!!!!!!!!! which you know, it’s also Fun that earlier in that episode when he and fakir are hanging out in the secret Problems Mill (which....fakir is hilarious like that lmfao. whole other tangent here like ppl are not only rolling with Animals As People but stuff like “yeah fakir might just be like ‘oops gotta go!’ and whisk mytho away to various out of the way Locations” like lmfao these teens have some free rein, but it’s nothing compared to s2 where it’s like “They Were Roommates but ig fakir tried to kill mytho who’s now being really dramatic and weird which is v different from before and maybe he’s in love with that one random dude who’s around now, which sucks for everyone else, oops now he’s just like Vanishing for god knows how long at a time it’s fine!!!!” lmfao like god. ballet school just is like that sometimes...) anyways Yeah that mytho’s been having nightmares about the raven and fakir is just going like IT’S FINE JUST DON’T THINK ABOUT IT lol and knowing fakir is also being pretty driven / restricted by fear, reasonably, as he thinks (well. and is correct) that he’s The Knight and his fate is literally written as “yeah if the story gets going and you’re a part of it you’ll just be killed” like yeah, oof......Wonder What I Think Of You Fakir like yeah AND he is that knight you actually did know who was suddenly killed trying to protect you and he’s sorta accepted that role again except he’s not really a fan of that Being Killed thing so here we’re having some issues in his misguided approach here re: Mytho Should Not Get His Heart Back, but he’s also trying to protect them Both from the story, and he’s only So Willing to act Against mytho, like, well hey thanks for apologizing after you hit him and then like, not doing that anymore lol, v reasonable how he’s struggling here lol where he’s trying to Protect mytho but the story a) wants to invite tragedy and b) has already said that The Knight has been / will be killed and can’t actually protect the prince within the story, also c) he’s just like one random high school guy out here......and also that it must just be kinda hard to adapt to this changing situation where mytho Is regaining this sense of self and motivation, but for like the past decade or whatever he Has needed fakir to just be in charge and tell him what to do all the time and, if he had the sense of what it was to trust someone, trust fakir to just always be acting in his best interest, but then mytho’s idea of his own best interest a) starts to Exist and b) is at odds w/fakir’s b/c also c) he doesn’t have All his feelings yet, Or all his memories, while fakir is like “noooo i know the story”.....like there was never any need to just like tell him he sucks at random times lol but it’s also kind of funny that’s just part of fakir’s shtick, calling mytho a dumbass one more time when he’s just fully himself as The Prince again lmfaooo. but prior to that, surely fakir could wonder what mytho thinks of him (or potentially Could think of him) too.......it’s just soooo good when mytho is like, expressing things verbally while trying to work through / figure out Feelings and even ones that he doesn’t have back yet, and it’s always fun how that inevitably throws off whatever character he’s musing about this to......including whenever ahiru’s just like “oh fuck yes he can do this b/c he has more feelings back now, that rules” and/or “aw :( he’s struggling w/this b/c he only has Some of his heart back”

and also that reminds me it’s SO good when the characters just kinda get to Do Something together lmfao like. ahiru and rue hanging out when looking for mytho that one time, iconic stuff, mytho and ahiru hanging out in the previous episode, iconic, maybe it kills me that in the first ep of s2 you have mytho saying ahiru’s his friend and the only person he feels like he can tell anything (and ahiru feeling bad she hasn’t Told Him Everything lol) and then he basically never gets to interact with her again knowing and as himself like Scream it’s fine ;v; !!!!!! let these people spend more than 3 seconds together Interacting lmfao it’s soooo good when they do :’0

and THEN you get into how there’s all this stuff re: The Story, like, fakir is the reincarnated knight, ahiru is the duck given tutu’s abilities Via a piece of mytho’s heart, but we had the original knight and tutu in the story as these actual ppl who we only hear a Little bit of lore about, but mytho actually knew / knows, and like, the original genesis for tutu only being on 1 Page of the story and apparently drosselmeyer doesn’t even really put any thought into what her motivations could be lol like yeah idk whatever she wants to marry the prince or whatever so that’s why she loves him and Says It and disappears......and like we have almost No direct info about her but uh nbd at least some of her actual essence is actually now an intrinsic part of mytho’s actual heart and specifically embedded in the heart shard of Hope, like damn!!!! you Know there was something more Real and Complex going on there and i love it so much.......and the original Knight, lohengrin.....might have been doomed to be unable to protect mytho with his sword, but there’s other ways to protect that guy and Someone needed to be doing it.......i’m just like wow mytho’s gf and bf!!!! and they both sort of died but hey. there’s still a lot to think about

so yeah lmfao love that you can originally see this series like, a decade ago and here it is like damn still lying down / yelling / generally riled up about mytho and just having So Much to think about / appreciate from this series like. it’s so Singular and has so much going on.......cherish it and i’m just still anytime like [epcot vine voice] Mytho...........

#uberoll-oystercracker #princess tutu

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weasleypogues · 4 years ago

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secrets (k.c)

request: I was wondering if could you do a kiara x maybank! reader where no one knows your bi and that you have a crush kiara but one night when everyone's hanging out and you play a game of truth or dare and everyone finds out & jj accepts you but worries about your guys' father finding out, please?🥺

masterlist

thanks for sending this in, i hope u like it!! :) sorry its kinda long and it took long to get to also :/

it wasn’t easy keeping a secret this big. you told yourself plenty of times that your friends and brother were the people you trusted the most and that they should know. however, you also couldn’t come to terms with the fact that if any word got back to your father, it was probably over for you and you could say goodbye to the sick excuse of a home.

you stayed out of the house with your brother jj as much as possible. this meant crashing at friends’ houses, working long hours, or surfing. as long as you weren’t close to what was once your sweet home, you were fine. a lot of the time, you felt bad overwhelming john b’s house with not only one maybank, but two. plus they needed jj and john b needed their bro time from here and there. this usually leads you to stay at kiara’s house. she was your best friend and you were so thankful for everything she’s done for you and the rest of the pogues.

yes, she was your best friend, but no way in hell would you ever feel confident enough to spill your secret to her. you kept a lock on this secret. and that big chain, lock, and thrown away key was guarding the fact that you are bisexual. somewhere in there was a smaller lock that held the secret that you also crushed on your best friend kiara. you knew deep down in your heart--or just really really hoped--that your friends would not judge you and defriend you because you were bi.

you kind of convinced yourself that if it wasn’t for your father, that you would have felt confident enough and already verbally told everyone that you were bi. you knew that they would never out your sexuality to anyone else that wasn’t in the friend group, but in the climate of living with luke maybank, you could not take even the smallest of chances.

nevertheless, it was a secret within yourself that you still felt sad that you had to keep this part back. within your own conscious, you embraced your sexuality and but you didn’t feel that saying it outloud was worth the bruises from your father. ignorance is bliss? that’s a debateable statement. because was the bliss reserved for your father and his anger, or for yourself and preventing another drop of blood?

you usually ran to one of the places where you found most of your alone time. it was you and your yellow surfboard against the world out in the waves. sometimes you would ride the waves to distract yourself or let off some steam. there were also other times where you’d swim far out and lay on the board to think in privacy which is ironic because you were completely out in the open.

one of those times were now. you let the waves rock you back and forth as your legs stradled the board and you laid on your stomach with your eyes closed. most of the time, if you were out there lying on your board, it’s because the internal battle with yourself was getting overwhelming. your brain was getting racked with the idea of just telling your friends because you weren’t being fair with yourself and wanted to tell them the truth, finally.

a voice quickly snapped you out of that trance, “waves not good enough for your surfboard?” after letting out a small yell of fright, you looked over and saw kie. her brown curls cascaded down her back and shoulders, two beaded necklaces hung from her neck, and she coincidentally wore your favorite yellow bathing suit of hers, because it matched your surfboard so well. your face felt warm at the thought that whenever there was a girls day, she would wear that bathing suit when you guys would surf because you said it was your favorite.

“nah, they’re just fine. just needed to disconnect for a little. y’know. the usual.” you gave kie a soft smile and chuckled as you concluded your sentence. your heart fluttered at the thought that she was very keen on eye contact and you felt like she could basically read your mind because of it.

her head cocked to the side, trying to read your facial expressions. “wanna talk about it?” you gave her a kind smile and shook your head, taking a deep breath in.

“uhm, i don’t even know if there’s much to talk about. it’s kinda all over the place up there.” you responded, pointing to your head. she put her lips in a straight line and nodded, in understanding.

“wanna hit the waves for a little and than go back to john b’s later with me? wasn’t sure if you were coming or not considering you’ve vacated to the waves instead of answering your phone.” kiara teased you, mirroring your position on the surboard.

“i’m down for that. beat you to the next wave!” you responded with a headstart, swimming with the tide and preapred yourself for the next wave. as you rode with the current that grew larger and larger, you stood up on your surfboard and rode with the wave as you heard cheering from kie behind you.

a couple of more successful waves between you and kie were concluded and you two were walking towards dry sand as you and your surfboards were dripping wet. “wanna borrow clothes from mine and crash there tonight if we don’t knock out at john b’s?” kiara inquired, throwing her wet hair into a messy bun and loading her surboard in the trunk of her car with the back seats down.

“works perfectly for me.” you responded, following her lead with placing your own surfboard back there. you looked down and smiled slightly to yourself that the idea that you never felt like this friendship was one sided. sometimes you felt like you would overstay your welcome or bombard her with your constant presence but she insisted all the time that she enjoyed having you around. after wiping the wet sand from your feet, you hopped in her car and made your way back to her house to get changed.

----------

you and your friends sat around a campfire outside, all a little high but just chilling.

“soooo....truth or dare? but without the dare?” sarah asked, giggling slighty. you heard an erruptions of groans but chuckled to yourself because of the response.

“so, just truth?” jj questioned in clairfication. john b rolled his eyes.

“that’s exactly what it is.” he answered which earned a light slap on the shoulder from sarah.

“or we could just sit here high out of our minds and bored like what we were previously doing.” sarah stated, in a higher tone because she knew that everyone would agree anyway.

“eh, fuck it. what else is there to do?” pope said, readjusting his position on the tree. “jj....uhhh.....last lie you told?”

jj groaned and leaned back in deep thought, “can’t believe that’s the best you got....uhm....i told john b that topper was the one who stole his bandana.”

john b shot up quickly, staring directly at jj. “okay, but what’s the truth? because you don’t know how close i was to confronting topper about my lucky bandana.”

“i may have spilt beer and needed something to clean it up with....” jj responded, cowering slightly in his seat. everyone laughed and awaited john b’s answer. you were a little more eager to hear the response considering you were the one that told jj to use the bandana instead of getting in trouble.

“i’ll beat your ass about it tomorrow, i’m too comfortable right now.” john b said, his head lying in sarah’s lap as she played with his hair lovingly. you couldn’t take your eyes away from them and it brought you back to kie. you just wished you could hold her like that and have her know your feelings. maybe tonight was the night to tell them you are bi? everyone seems relaxed and a little more wiped, so at least it wouldn’t be amped up. but then again, you brother jj sat right across from you and it brought you back to the idea that your dad may find out if the secret left your mouth.

you internally groaned at the fact that whenever you thought of letting people in on your sexuality, it always led you back to the fear of your father finding out. except, you didn’t internally groan but actually groaned outloud and you didn’t realize till everyone’s eyes were on you. you felt your face go hot and gave your best awkward smile.

“i guess (y/n) wants to go next. so (y/n/n)......biggest secret?” john b asked and you felt your heart slightly drop and your hands go sweaty. you opened your mouth but wasn’t sure if you should lie or was this the best opportunity to tell them? it seemed like john b read your mind when asking you this question. you felt your heart rate quicken and didn’t dare look anyone in the eyes.

“i...uh...uhm.” you responded nervously. even though it had been years when you came to the realization you were bisexual and had thought of every which way to tell your best friends in every scenario possible, you were still at a loss for words. fuck.

you felt tears brim your eyes and you ran both of your hands through your hair, staring at the ground. “woah, (y/n), you don’t have to answer it if it stresses you out so much.” jj told you, glaring at john b who clearly almost gave his little sister a heart attack. you shook your head and looked up at everyone.

“no no, it’s okay. uhm... fuck okay.” you said, feeling like your eyes couldn’t focus on one place because your mind was running at 100 mph. you took a deep breath and closed your eyes. keeping them closed, you continued “it’s now or never. so fuck it. i’ve kept this a secret for long enough...” you felt kiara from next to you grab your hand and reassuringly stroke her thumb back and forth. “i’m bi.”

honestly, you could tell if it had been 3 seconds, minutes, or hours till someone answered. you felt yourself get choked up until you felt a head that belonged to kiara lie itself on your shoulder and a hand squeeze your own. you were confused when you felt salty tears at your lips and finally looked at the rest of the group who all gave you soft and loving eyes.

“you know we’ll love you no matter what, (y/n), right?” pope said, send a small smile your way and crawling from his spot to right next to you and put an arm around your shoulder. you let a couple of more tears fall until a smile came upon your face, nodding.

you looked directly at jj, knowing exaclty what he was thinking because it’s exactly what you were thinking. “we can’t tell dad.” you both said in unison. you chuckled through the tears as jj walked towards you and engulfed you in a hug, kissing the top of your head. thankfully, it wasn’t long until john b and sarah made their way to the hug and everyone silently held each other for a moment.

“okay okay, enough sappiness.” you said, breaking up the hug with a giant smile on your face as you wiped the tears that were still falling from your eyes. your friends chuckled in response.

“i say this calls for a celebration with s’mores!” sarah announced, pulling john b’s hand towards his house. “kie, find some sticks. pope, make the fire stronger.”

you stood up, wiping off some dirt from your shorts and made your way closer to the dock in deep thought. even though it was such a clichè term, you felt like a literal weight was lifted off of your shoulders. your best friends finally knew and there wasn’t this side of you that you had to pretend didn’t exist. a familiar hand on your shoulder ripped you from your thoughts as your brother came into your view.

“i love you, (y/n). to the moon and back. i don’t want you to have to hold any part of yourself back from who you really are. but, i hate to say it. that excludes dad. i just can’t see you get hurt and it breaks my heart to have to ask you this.” your brother said, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and looking out into the water as well. you took a deep breath and let your head lie on his shoulder.

“i know. i kinda expected this. but at least i don’t have to hide it from you guys now.” you responded, crossing your arms over your chest and letting your shoulders relax. again, jj kissed the top of your forehead but you two were interrupted when you heard footsteps walk on the dock behind you. you saw kie walking towards you two slowly and give you a small, kind smile.

“can i steal her for a second?” kiara asked jj, fiddling with her fingers. jj nodded and pulled away from you.

“‘she’s all yours.” jj said. i wish. jj started walking back towards the camp fire to help pope with the failing fire as kiara pulled you in for a hug. you took in her scent that was a mix of the ocean and her rose perfume.

“i’m so proud of you, (y/n).” she muttered into your hair and you squeezed her a little harder. you both pulled away slowly and you immediately looked into her beautiful brown eyes, your mouth slightly parted. and as if this were a romance movie, you glanced down at her lips as kiara couldn’t tear her eyes away from yours. and thank god she made the first move. kiara slowly leaned into kiss you and you moved in yourself.

your hands moved to lightly sit on her waist and her hands cupped your face, as you two deepend the kiss. it wasn’t long until the two of you pulled apart, slightly out of breath. a smile so wide made it’s way onto your face as you gazed into her eyes.

“you don’t know how long i’ve been wanting to do that.” kiara said, chuckling and letting her hands drop to her side.

“you? really? it’s all i keep fucking thinking about.” you said, pulling her in for a second kiss.

so maybe there was a second secret now to tell the rest of your friends that had already made their way back to the campfire.

#outer banks #outer banks writing #outer banks imagines #obx writing #obx #obx x reader #obx writings #obx imagines #jj maybank #kiara carrera #kiara x reader #kiara carrera imagines #kiara carrera x reader #kiara imagines #john b routledge #pope heyward #topper thorton #rafe cameron

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trensu · 5 years ago

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Episode 19: The One with the Return of the Gay Yearning Death Grip, Now with More Sword!

After enduring EXTREME EMOTIONAL TRAUMA for the last THREE (3) EPISODES IN A ROW, we finally finally get an episode that has some wangxiantics again!!

I mean, they’re still gonna gut us emotionally here too but we can pretend it hurts less because of our brief wangxian moments!!!

Because this is the episode with the BURIAL MOUNDS

*cries*

Alright so golden core transfer Happened.

Review: wwx is now weaponless, penniless, golden core-less, and alone

Except jk, he’s actually surrounded by wen flunkies, so not alone! Worse than alone!!

And we all know our beloved wwx has the survival instincts of a lemming so instead of you know, keeping his mouth shut for once in his life, he decides to mock and insult wen chao and his flunkies.

WC decides to take wwx on Evil Field Trip Part 2: Burial Mounds Edition and has wen zhuliu freaking drop-kick wwx into the cursed place

Oh, hello, Bad CGI, nice to see you again!

And here we have the Return of the Screams bc apparently wwx decided to keep the Screaming Sword of Resentment in his magic pouch??

Good thing he did, i guess?? Bc the Screams summon up some resentful energy that helps him survive the fall

We cut away a moment here to see our beloved wen sibs and we are sad bc they are locked up MOVING ON

Wwx is all alone in this awful place covered in dead things and lacking sunlight, THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF OUR PRECIOUS, LIVELY, SUNSHINE BOY

It’s terrible but we’re getting a piece of wangxian pie here (a tiny one)

So the Screams are still happening, and our wwx is collapsed on the ground not responding to any of them.

They’re all shouting “wei wuxian, wei wuxian”

And still our precious sunshine boy lies there limp and exhausted

BUT SUDDENLY

AMIDST ALL THE SHOUTS

We hear a calm,soothing voice call “wei ying”

Wwx finally moves. He sits up and starts looking around for the source of that voice

BECAUSE THAT WAS LAN ZHAN’S VOICE

THAT WAS LAN ZHAN’S VOICE GENTLY CALLING “WEI YING” THREE TIMES

THREE!!! TIMES!!!!

And it’s so sad bc for a moment there wwx hears the voice and must think that lwj is there with him, there to rescue him!!

But he isn’t *cries* he’s not there and wwx just looks so lost and scared here *cries HARDER*

Instead of lwj, wwx finds the Screaming Sword of Resentment that legit says to him, “wwx, do you want revenge? Let’s be together.”

And, idk guys, swords that talk to you about revenge don’t seem like, the kind of swords you wanna be touching.

But wwx decides to become besties with it, i guess, and grabs it.

The look of triumph on his face after he accepts the swords offer is really cool if you ignore how UTTERLY DISTRESSING the whole situation is

AND HERE’S THE SCENE WHERE LWJ MAKES THE MOST BADASS ENTRANCE.

YOU THOUGHT THE THING WITH THE ROOFTOP BACK IN "THE ONE WITH THE ICONIC REUNION” WAS COOL?? THIS ONE TOPS IT.

To set the scene: we’re at Qishan where Evil Summer School took place and a bunch of wen flunkies are getting drunk and bragging about their evil deeds bc why not

And then we get a shot of white shoes (boots?? Idk) slowly walking up the steps of the evil staircase

And then the camera gives us a shot at the top of the staircase and we see LWJ clad in all white in a bitchin’ new robe, slowly appear into view, rising a little more with each step he takes up the stairs and the wind is providing ambiance by swishing elegantly through his hair

As that is happening, we see the blue flash of power that shows up whenever lwj uses his guqin and it knocks the wen flunkies down on their backs BC FUCK YOU WEN FLUNKIES

We go back to lwj, and get a closer look at his face. His face is blank and hard as a stone, and he keeps going at this unhurried, unbothered pace

Bc he knows

HE KNOWS

He’s gonna get what he wants here and now, one way or another. And what he wants is information about wei ying.

CHILLS, GUYS, THIS SCENE GIVES ME CHILLS IN THE BEST WAY

THE MOST BADASS ENTRANCE IN THE SHOW

I LOVE IT SO MUCH

So after he guqin’s the wen flunkies down (and they start cowering) he towers over them all imperiously

Lwj: Kneel

(so commanding, his tone. I know at least some of you guys Felt Things at that)

(guys, I've been on ao3, I'VE SEEN YOUR TAGS, don’t try to deny it, you kinky bastards)

(It's okay, this is a no judgement zone, and lwj is looking hella sharp in his new outfit, I get it)

Lwj: where is wei ying

(so unyielding, so demanding, but not once does he raise his voice, what a BAMF)

The wen flunkie that lwj had been kinda choking with guqin magic raises his hand (lol, this isn’t a classroom pal)

Lwj: Speak.

And the wen flunkie informs him (and JC, who showed up at some point but whatev) that they dumped WWX in the Burial Mounds

Lwj, our precious darling lwj, we know he doesn’t have the most expressive of faces, right? But the way his face tilts ever so slightly downwards at the news, you can tell, you can tell, that he was hit with that sick, cold, sinking feeling in the stomach

Kneel. Where is Wei Ying. Speak. THAT'S ALL HE SAID IN THE WHOLE SCENE AND YET HE HAD EVERYONE CAPTIVATED (and Thirsty, in some cases, it's all good, it's all good)

After all that awesome, we are forced to watch wc and jj have a domestic spat of some sort AS IF WE’RE SUPPOSED TO CARE. WE’RE GONNA IGNORE IT BC FUCK THOSE GUYS

We’re back at Evil Summer School in Qishan, and we’ve got JC and LWJ doing that thing where they stare manfully at the mid-distance and talk about vaguely Feelings-related Stuff

WuJi starts playing in the background as JC tells LWJ about how WWX was supposed to meet up with him at Yiling and never showed up; i thought he went after you, he says, but maybe the wens really did dump him in the burial mounds

And the music freaking crescendos here bc some lan disciples show up with everyone’s swords but most importantly THEY HAVE SUIBIAN which they bring to lwj directly

Makes you wonder, huh. Why did they bring suibian to lwj when jc, wwx’s brother, was right there??

PROBS BC THE LAN DISCIPLES HAVE BEEN WITH LWJ AND JC THE WHOLE TIME AND REALIZED THAT LWJ IS IN LOVE WITH WWX BC WHY ELSE WOULD HE BE SEARCHING SO OBSESSIVELY

LWJ’s eyes widen just a fraction the minute he sees suibian

HIS SOULMATE’S SWORD

IT’S ALL HE HAS LEFT OF WEI YING RIGHT NOW

JUST LIKE BEFORE WHEN ALL HE HAD LEFT OF HIS HOME WAS BICHEN

STOP LEAVING LWJ WITH JUST SWORDS, LET HIM HAVE HIS LOVED ONES!!!

And god the way he GRIPS it with YEARNING.

All of his motions are still very sedate, but just the microexpressions we’re getting from him change the tone of the movements

Wang yibo - guys, idk much about any of the actors but this guy does a great job. Like, how does he make such emotional expressions when his actual face hardly moves??? WITCHCRAFT, I TELL YOU, WITCHCRAFT

Lwj tries to unsheathe the sword but here we find the Suibian has sealed itself (bc he’s a loyal sword; he aint cheating on his master with no one!)

Lwj: wei ying, where are you

Such quality Lwj Yearning™

And then we get interrupted by Plot Things again, ugh

Blah blah we’re at qinghe blah blah we meet jzx's asshole cousin and hate him blah blah

Lwj and JC show up at qinghe and interrupt jzx’s Disaster Het shenanigans (thank god)

Jiang sibs have a reunion while jzx and lwj stand awkwardly at the side

Lwj sees that display of Emotion and is like, nope, that is Too Much, i’m gonna distract myself by staring at this disembodied head hanging at the entrance

(he’s already in emotional turmoil bc his soulmate is missing, he cannot handle anything more than that!!)

Idk why by jzx decides to join him

Jzx: hey, that’s wwx’s sword! Did you…

Lwj: *Death Grips bichen AND suibian with Extra Yearning™*

Lwj: evil summer school has been burned

SUBTLE CHANGE OF TOPIC THERE, LWJ

Also, c’mon jzx, LWJ IS NOT HERE TO TALK ABOUT OR ACKNOWLEDGE ANY MORE FEELINGS RIGHT NOW OKAY

Jzx goes off to talk about something unimportant and lwj is like phew, dodged a bullet there

Except, JUST KIDDING

Jzx: soooo, where’s wwx? I need to return his sister to him

Lwj: *stoically silent*

Lwj: *refuses to look at jzx*

Lwj: *gives off major I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT vibes*

Jzx: *doesn’t take a hint*

Jzx: yeah, so where is he??

READ THE ROOM, JZX

Idiots, we’re surrounded by emotionally incompetent idiots

Lwj doesn’t react until he hears jyl softly gasp when jc updates her and even then, it’s only to just briefly glance in her general direction

OUR BOY IS HURTING, POOR LWJ

And now we’re back to Plot Things

Blah blah battle strategy blah blah nmj looks imposing blah blah baxia does a thing blah blah

Jzx: yeah, so we’re doing great, we just gotta take back gusu and yiling now

Lwj: I volunteer AS TRIBUTE for the mission in Yiling

Jc: dude, SAME, plz red blade master, let us go there

Nmj: uh, idk guys, that’s right next to the wen’s stronghold…

Lwj; red blade master…

Nmj: yeah, okay, fine

Wow, capitulated pretty easily there, pal. Thought you were supposed to be a tough guy, nmj…

We get a jiang sib moment

With soup, ofc

Ooooh, now we get to watch jj have a mental break AND IT’S GLORIOUS

Disembodied eyeballs!! How fun!

And that’s the end of that episode!!

Oh god, i’m so glad we finally got some wangxiantics. Like, not a lot of them, and they didn’t share screentime BUT THEY WERE STILL VERY EMOTIONAL WANGXIANTICS

THEY MISS EACH OTHER SO MUCH *SOBS*

Return to Masterpost

#WangXiantics #wangxian #the untamed #cql

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ccsthemovie2 · 4 years ago

Note

Character-Clow Reed

(avril lavingne voice) WHYD YOU HAVE TO GO AND MAKE THINGS SO CLOWMPLICATEEEED I SEE THE WAY YOURE ACTING LIKE YOURE SOMEBODY ELSE GETS ME FRUSTRATED- ok jokes aside LETS GOOOOO

Why I like them:

for all my angry yelling and kicking and complaining you may be surprised to learn that clow(riol) is one of my favorite parts of ccs!

i think that having the Mystery and Legend of a long-dead wizard that hangs over sakura’s head at the start get light shed on it more and more so that we can see he’s just a person makes the world of ccs feel small and personal. it really stabilizes the heart of the series, what i love most about ccs- that it’s a story about individuals and the choices they make. the magic itself all traces back to one man and the way he felt it was right to act and to treat other people. i think he’s a fascinating character and a very very good choice of central figure.

Why I don’t:

THAT SAID, AAAAAGHHHHH HE IS HORRIBLE HE IS JUST A TERRIBLE LITTLE MAN I HATE HIM I HATE HIM SOOOO MUCH. even putting aside everything he* pulls as eriol, just the things he does as clow reed make me SO upset....LYING ABOUT HIS DEATH??? ELABORATE SETUP TO PRETEND KERO AND YUE HAVE A CHOICE IN THE MATTER OF CHOOSING THE NEW CARD MASTER BUT ACTUALLY KNOWING ALL ALONG AND HAVING A SPECIAL MAGIC ITEM MADE TO SEE THAT IT GETS DONE??? BREEZING INTO A TOWN TO STEAL A FORTUNE TELLER’S BUSINESS, GETTING HER NICE AND KATE BEATON NEMESIS.PNG’D, AND THEN IGNORING HER FOREVER??? it’s bad!! *(it’s complicated,) ive said this jokingly before but i think he just doesnt even think about other people having agency, that he’s not trampling but Guiding and Helping. i think part of his controlfreakiness is also a deep fear that he’s not enough, that he can’t keep a friend on his own merits so he’s gotta get his claws sunk in as much as possible, whether by emotionally living rent free in people’s heads or magical dependance. and that’s not a uniquely horrible belief, yknow, i think it’s very human and normal, but the problem is no one can criticize him. not with the amount of control he has over the people he surrounds himself with, the fact that he can physically shut down kero and yue any time he likes, etc. it’s not that power inherently Makes You Evil, it’s that power made it harder for people to say “hey stop that”, and if no ones telling him to stop then he must be doing fine!

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

GENUINE TIE BETWEEN THE BACK TO THE PAST EP OF THE ANIME AND THE SAKURA SEES THE TRUTH SCENE IN MANGA. i think both of them are great- the tightly controlled dreamy guided tour where she sees just what he wants her to see, AND sakura outpowering him and seeing the reality of his lies. in the manga when sakura sees him gives gentle headkisses to kero and yue before putting them to bed and eriol+fujitaka-ing i go AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ....... THEY LOVE SOMEONE WHO IS TERRIBLE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUU MY HEART. i headcanon that’s when he mind-messed with them, too, i think he had to touch them to do it and that was how.

Favorite season/movie:

bold answer but im going to say the implications left behind in the clow card arc of Why Do Cards Act Like That/Have Those Specialties. what about clow made him want to make a voice-stealing card, a small-object-moving-card, a body-swap card, etc? it’s good questions.

Favorite line:

in the mokona book when they say he said dogs dont have owners they have housemates, bc that explains SOOOOO much abt him and how he treated kero and yue lololol. if you think being a pet owner and a roomate are the same you’re gonna treat your roomates, uhhhm, bad.

also if eriol counts its him in the wonderland ep like YOU DONT KNOW IF IM NOT THE KINDA PERSON TO PRETEND TO BE A CAT and I THINK YOU AND LI ARE SO DUMB I HAVE TO BITE MY TONGUE CONSTANTLY TO NOT INSULT YOU and BUT I CANT ACT LIKE THIS OR KERO AND YUE WILL KNOW IM CLOW. so like. was clow just like that then.

Favorite outfit:

uh his regular clothes are cool. theres an illustration on him in this cool coat with like a sun pin on it too. whenever i draw him in something frilly i have a huge brain. cant deny the guy has style and aesthetics. sakura’s first staff, look at it!! the style it has!!!

OTP:

im neutral-positive on clowyuuko cuz i havent holic’d since high school. you can refer to the answer i gave abt yue for clowyue thoughts (tl;dr: [touches ground] “something terrible happened here” ). madoushi is just kate beaton nemesis comic.

i think it would be funny if albus dumbledore was his ex.

Brotp

yuuko again i guess? and him and all his creations. headcanon territory even though that’s actually the next question but you asked for my thoughts so here they are: i think of him as trying to be a sort of fun camp counselor or teacher type for kero+yue and the cards- specifically a role with an authority behind it, but without the same sort of responsibility that a parent would have. or, i guess, lacking an unconditional love, always an undertone of you having to prove yourself. someone who you go to to learn from, but if he likes can also go “no no im just like you, now let’s have fun!”. it’s hard to explain, but there’s a difference.

what i’m trying to get at here is i think it’s significant that the only creations he has that we see him truly ‘raise’, (going by the info+lack of it we have, anyway, i fill in the blank for myself that kero and yue and the cards all showed up full of knowledge, fully formed, CLAMP DO NOT INTERACT!!!!!), were the mokonas, with yuuko. it was another person’s influence that brought a parental attitude in, it’s not something he ever wanted to be. there’s also a healthy dose of “yue textually had a crush on clow and i will not, no way, let you make that any more unfortunate than that already is”, i’ll admit, but i think that’s just a puzzle piece of the whole theory here. i think it would also be funny if he knew people like tolkein (eriol’s a tolkeinverse name if i remember correctly) and c.s. lewis (side note, i find the fact that clow is an actively practicing christian really funny), but i dont want to think too deeply about that sort of realworld mix, yknow.

Head Canon:

i think pranks were highly encouraged in his house and none of the clow cards are being intentionally destructive, just acting in ways that were totally normal at home, and are genuinely shocked to learn that people will get seriously injured without clow there to cushion their damage.

Unpopular opinion:

evil

A wish:

i wanna know what his pre-story days were like, his life with the cards, his life BEFORE the cards,

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

^ same the above but i find it out from clamp

5 words to best describe them:

did you know? clow sucks

My nickname for them:

clown, :kingboo: (discord emoji of him with a 🚫 over it), “the bastard jester himself” (which is, or at least was, in comedian-podcaster stephen buckleys twitter bio and i think it abt clow frequently, sorry stephen buckley), king of living rent free in people’s heads

#ask

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desparikon · 5 years ago

Text

Fanfic misfires feat. Murdoc #2

The Valentine’s fics I’ve been working on aren’t happening, soooo

1. Jack/Murdoc

2. Murdoc/Mac (theme: hair clip)

3. Murdoc/Bozer (theme: birthday)

4. Murdoc/Bozer (theme: cheesy Christmas movies)

Murdoc backhanded Jack, a line of blood welling up when a metal detail on his glove caught against his cheek.

Jack's hand flew to the scratch. "The Hell is your problem?!"

Murdoc shrugged. "Oops."

He shoved Murdoc back, nearly causing him to lose his balance. Before Jack could take advantage of the opening, Murdoc slammed his foot into Jack’s knee, and threw him to the ground, but was drug down by Jack’s grip on his sleeve.

This time, Jack was able to get a handle on Murdoc before he caused too much trouble. He dug one knee into Murdoc’s stomach, the other trapping an arm against the floor. Murdoc struggled violently, so he gave his other wrist a warning twist as he pinned it to the floor.

“Hold still!”

“Make me!”

Jack fisted Murdoc’s hair, immediately convincing him to go still. They glared at each other, silently continuing their combat as they caught their breath.

It was Jack who broke their staring contest, growling quietly, “Fuck it,” before leaning down and crushing his lips against Murdoc’s, holding him tightly in anticipation of resistance.

Resistance that didn’t come.

A quiet moan was all it took to break the tension.

Jack relaxed his hold on Murdoc’s hair, running his hand through it before letting his hand drift to Murdoc’s neck. Murdoc rolled his stomach as best he could against Jack’s knee, encouraging to him to go lower. Jack obliged, and earned a needy moan as he pulled on Murdoc’s shirt before trailing lower, lower--

"--c? Mac?"

"Huh? Yeah?"

"Hey, don't worry." Jack rubbed his hands soothingly over Mac's shoulders. "Next time Murdoc shows up, I’ll deal with him. I won’t give him a chance to get near you again.”

Mac hoped any blushing was invisible under the soft lighting. "...Thanks, Jack."

—————————————————————————

"Doesn't that get annoying?"

Mac looked up from his project to where Murdoc was sitting on the kitchen counter, watching him with a pleased smile. He sighed and stood up straight. "You, interrupting me?"

"The hair flip. You've done it eight times in the past five minutes."

"I didn't notice." Now that Murdoc had brought attention to it, he realized that his hair had once again fallen into his face.

"You really get in the zone."

"But it apparently annoys you. Guess next time you're holding scissors, I should be concerned that you'll cut my hair instead of stabbing me." A knowing smile pulled at the corner of his lips. They both knew Murdoc was past the stage of wanting to kill him.

"No, it just makes me want to touch it even more. And it's...one of the little things you do, that I think about. Did think about." He reached into one of his pockets. "I have something for you."

He dropped off the counter, and walked around the table to stand in front of Mac before holding up the tiny present.

"Hair clips?"

"To keep your hair out of the way. I made sure to pick the package with blue ones, so they'd match your eyes."

Murdoc gently swept Mac's bangs to one side, and slid the first clip in, pulling them out of Mac's face. He added a second clip to make sure it was doubly secure.

"Fancy." His fingers lingered in Mac's hair, unable to resist the softness.

"Feels kinda weird." Mac lifted a hand to run his own fingers over the clips. "But I think they'll hold."

It still made him feel slightly shy when Murdoc did nice things for him, like seeing happy Murdoc was something forbidden. He moved his hand over the hair around Murdoc's ear, even though it was already neatly tucked behind it.

"You didn't bring any for you."

"Blue doesn't match with this outfit."

—————————————————————————

"Murdoc! You're here!" Bozer wrapped his arms around Murdoc's neck, and kissed his cheek.

"Should I be worried, seeing how excited you are at me just walking in the door?"

"I wasn't sure you'd actually show up." Bozer took Murdoc's hand, and led him from the front door to a chair at the kitchen table. "Sit. I have a surprise for you!"

"So your text said."

"First off, you have to close your eyes."

Murdoc hesitated, but decided that Bozer's energy was only eager, not malicious, so did as instructed.

"Don't peek."

"Hmmm..."

"No."

He heard Bozer retrieve a plate from a cabinet and set it on the kitchen counter, followed by quiet noises as he moved items on the counter.

"I was thinking about last time, when you were trying to tell us that your birthday is on April 1st."

"Because it is."

"Uh-huh. But, it got me thinking about how it doesn't have to be your birthday to celebrate." He sat the plate on the kitchen table. "Ta da!"

Murdoc opened his eyes to find a double-sized cupcake sitting in front of him. Yellow cake filled with rainbow sprinkles, and topped with a large spiral of chocolate icing that was almost as big as the cupcake itself. More rainbow sprinkles finished it off.

"You made this...specially for me?" Murdoc kept his gaze low, his eyes glistening with tears.

"Of course! I wanted to do something in honor of all the birthdays I know you didn't celebrate. Maybe you didn't care, or other people in your life didn't, but I'm here now, and I care. Because you being alive makes me happy."

"Wilt, I..." A few tears escaped down his face. "I love it."

"And no birthday's complete without making a wish!" He pushed a candle into the icing, careful to disturb as little of it as possible, and lit it. "Happy birthday, Murdoc!"

Murdoc smiled to himself before blowing out the flame.

—————————————————————————

Bozer rolled his eyes and turned on the TV. Murdoc was currently lying on the living room floor on his back, eyes closed.

“Guess I don’t have to worry about you complaining about what I pick to watch. Since you’re dead or whatever.”

He opened the channel guide, and scrolled to see what the cooking channels were showing. The guide lagged for a few seconds, and the cursor landed on one of those channels that focused on feel-good programming. The Christmas season meant sappy, made-for-TV romance movies, and the current movie was of the Cinderella variety.

Definitely not his type of movie. But perfect for annoying Murdoc.

The ballroom scene was already underway, and the airy music, combined with conversations about the prince, got Murdoc’s attention. He slowly turned his head toward the TV. Bozer couldn’t see Murdoc’s face, but he was glad for the TV that it wasn’t alive to be able to see his glare.

“What. Is. That?”

"Oh my Goddddd! Murdoc! She's dancing with the prince! But he doesn't know that she's the owner of the Christmas tree shop!"

Murdoc gave a long, pained moan. “Ughhhhh...the life is being sucked out of me! And it’s not even the good kind of sucking.”

“Quiet! You’re ruining this beautiful moment.”

“This movie’s stupid. Change the channel.”

“What’re you gonna do? Come over here and make me?”

Murdoc rolled onto his side, and stared up at Bozer. “If I have to get up...”

“You want the remote that bad? Here.” He dangled it off the couch, and waited for Murdoc to scoot himself within arm’s reach before pulling it back up. “Mine!”

“Now you’re in trouble.”

“Oh no! Murdoc’s gonna punish me!” Bozer tackled Murdoc before he could be pulled off the couch, and slapped at Murdoc’s hands. “You like that?!”

Their limbs tangled as they playfully wrestled, but Bozer straddled Murdoc to keep him from gaining the upper hand. Pokes into his sides caused him to wildly jerk.

“Don’t tickle me! I’ll tickle you!”

“I’d like to see you try.”

Bozer firmly held one of Murdoc’s wrists as he wriggled underneath him, attempting to protect his exposed side with his remaining free hand.

“Your Highness, I do believe that’s mistletoe hanging in the doorway.”

Their attention snapped back to the TV. Gay prince? In one of these movies??

The scene continued, revealing that something about the mistletoe was going to lead the prince to his mystery woman.

Murdoc scowled. “How dare you have these guys walk under mistletoe and have nothing happen! I hate this movie!"

“You’re just jealous that you weren’t there when someone put up mistletoe in the war room.”

“...Maybe.”

#macgyver #mine

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comicteaparty · 5 years ago

Text

December 21st-December 27th, 2019 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from December 21st, 2019 to December 27th, 2019. The chat focused on the following question:

Without heavy spoilers, describe the worst thing you’ve put one of your characters through?

carcarchu

for a comic i haven't released yet (this happens in literally the first chapter so i don't really consider it a spoiler) the main character in this story has a rough life. she's saddled with enormous debts and gets fired from her job, then when things finally start looking up for her she gets hit by a car and "dies" the whole premise of the story is that people who die and get brought back to life by doctors (dead for just a few seconds) get powers

Cronaj

Hmmm.... I won't say whose, but probably the death of their child, and I've done some awful things to my characters. For some reason, all the pain and suffering in the world does not amount to the loss of one's child. To be fair, I don't usually consider it my fault that these horrible things occur in the story, because I couldn't change it if I wanted to. To do so would feel like a lie. These stories exist in my mind independent of what I want, and I'm simply telling them to the world. But yes... that child is the saddest creature I've written.

eli [a winged tale]

Torn apart, watched their friends die, forced to live forever... you name it, we got it In all seriousness, I also like focusing on the small (but not insignificant things) like not having your love reciprocated and questioning your worth. Sometimes it’s the small things that can collectively be destructive.

Capitania do Azar

In some ways, I think I have already done the worst I possibly could to my characters (war, being unable to help and losing their loved ones in darkness and loneliness). But on the other hand, I do plan to extend the mechanics of mind intrusion to the point of completely mangling up people's psyches, so I guess I'll have to wait and see which one feels worse

FeatherNotes

So far in GJS, we've had a character go through some, well, explosive limb loss There's quite a lot of hard things the chars go through / will go through, but i def see the brutality of the leg loss as something pretty huge for the character!

taterviking

I threw my main character under a semi, off a cliff, and shoved a tree branch into his brain. And then when he woke up I gave him long term memory loss and stole 80% of his memories from before he was 12

Kelsey (Kurio)

Boy am I glad none of us are gods heh

taterviking

I kind of treat writing like the Sims: which one am i torturing and which two did I build specifically to get naked together.

eli [a winged tale]

Omg Tater that’s a perfect analogy (edited)

taterviking

the only difference is that I can follow them to work and they're alllllll the money slave/work horse

Also, Viking is my father's name, you can call me Tater ;P

snuffysam

the worst thing that has happened to one of my characters canonically is something i have not and will not describe in-comic, so i'm not about to describe it here. there are certain... types of trauma... where even if a story depicts things realistically, respectfully, and with properly directed condemnation, fans romanticize the hell out of it. and i want no part of that. so, like, i'm keeping this stuff in the character's backstory, because i want to depict living with and growing past traumatic experiences, but i refuse to actually describe/depict what happened so fans don't get the wrong takeaway. the important thing isn't what happened, it's how she deals with it. as for things that actually happen in the comic - one character does get tortured by a government for information?

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Oh boy. So I am rather known for torturing my characters. I don’t even know what the worst thing is, but ‘dying horribly’ or ‘very dark and tragic backstory involving abuse and/ or terrible loss’ describes 95% of my casts.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Several of my characters get horribly bitten/eaten by hungry spirits. If they aren't already completely wrecked by the attack, the resulting cursed bite leads to quarantine and ostracization. Even little kids get abandoned or sent away. And those who are eventually totally consumed by the curse... basically become half-dead. ...Yeah, I got a lot of 'worse than death' stuff going on

Nutty (Court of Roses)

Won't say who, but i don't think i could do much worse than giving a character the perfect life and then taking it and everyone they've ever loved away from them in one fell swoop, leaving them to wander aimlessly.

Deo101

I've put all of my characters through different things that I think aren't really comparable as far as saying one is "worse" than the other. Though, I think that I'll probably say making one of them essentially live through a genocide is pretty undeniably the worst thing, and also the only one that I've really canonically discussed.

DanitheCarutor

I'm lowkey into character torture porn, so I like putting my OCs through some shit. Apollo probably has the most cushy life of every character I've ever made, the spoiled brat! The worst thing that will happen, in TGtaHR at least, will be related to death and/or near death. Not so much the subject in itself but how it is used, which may or may not be the worst thing from a reader perspective, but from the character's perspective. I mean...? I guess anything relating to death is pretty bad, but I've kind of seen situations where the person would have considered it a luxury, soooo. I don't know where I'm going with this!(edited)

Deo101

sounds like you're going towards "my comic is the meanest thing I've put my characters through"

you big meanie.

DanitheCarutor

Ah! I'm such a bully! Nothing like putting your characters through the worst to make the positive payoff more worth it.

khkddn

is psychological or physical pain more impactful to readers? prolly depends heavily on the context huh

anyway for my comic I think it is a tie between a psychologically hurtful thing and a physically hurtful thing

the psychological one is a little something I like to call The Dress Arc, and the physical one is called Cold Swiss Cheese

Deo101

Incredible

khkddn

what is the point of having painful scenes if one does not give them cool names amirite

Deo101

Absolutely. You know whats up

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I’d say psychological pain is much worse. A broken leg can heal in a month, but trauma stays with you. Of course, the former can cause the latter, but I always find it much more emotional when the character is feeling internally tortured rather than externally.

DanitheCarutor

I'm no expert but from personal experience with my comic, it's kind of depends on the reader? But physical is more universally comprehensible. A lot of the pain depicted in my story so far is psychological, with a little physical, and I've noticed people who have experience and/or are educated with the psychological aspect are more impacted by that than people who have never experienced or learned about it. Or to be more straightforward, people who have never experienced or have no knowledge of mental/emotional abuse have no idea what's going on in the story. Although when I had a scene where my frail, mentally unstable MC got punched in the face, everyone flipped out equally.

Of course this is just relating to abuse, when it comes to other stuff relating to pain I can't really give an opinion. I would say it's similar, since most people generally need to have a certain level of understanding of something to be impacted by its depiction of fiction, but I have no idea. Lol(edited)

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

No, you make a really good point. People generally can’t comprehend a pain they haven’t experienced, so I admit it would make sense to only feel empathy for physical pain if you’ve never known psychological trauma.

DanitheCarutor

Yeah, it's a douchey thing to do since this is subjective (there are people who have experienced trauma who lack the ability to empathize with others who go through something similar and vice versa), but I like to make a game out of figuring out who has and hasn't been in a really bad relationship based on how they respond to my comic irl, and online to an extent. Admittedly I'm hardcore into getting feedback half due to wanting to psychologically evaluate my readerbase.

Kelsey (Kurio)

Wait what?

DanitheCarutor

"What what" what? Don't worry, I don't do anything or judge based on stuff like that since it's so little info, I just like psychology... even if I may not be very good at it.

But yeah, I'm kind of a creep.

DanitheCarutor

Oh yeah, don't be scared to go back to posting in this channel? Thing? I won't be hanging out here, unless someone talks to me directly. I just responded originally because I had a tiny bit of knowledge on the subject asked.

Cronaj

I get that. I'm also kind of creepy. Plus, I kind of feel like webcomics are a bit of a social experience to begin with, which often involves a lot of studying the readers' emotional responses to the story.

keii4ii

Human beings automatically judge each other alllll the time, so part of it is inevitable. I think the most important thing is to acknowledge that you can be a little, very, or even totally wrong. ...The other important thing is, I do think there's a difference between subconsciously judging others and actively looking forward to it? If you are actively looking forward to judging others, that sort of turns your comment section into a social experiment of sorts, and I don't feel comfortable about that. If I knew the creator of a comic I follow was like that, I would be like "uhhhh you do you, but I want no part in that" and never comment.

I'm not saying it's a bad thing. Just.... ideally should be consensual?

I know some people who actually enjoy that kinda stuff, like even if they found out, they'd be like "ohhhhh SMART! :D"... Then there are people who would feel upset if they found out. So yeah, ideally this would be all consensual so people can opt in or out, but I don't know how you can do this while fully informing prospective participants.

DanitheCarutor

It sounds like a lie, but really, I don't judge. I make up fantastical concepts of what kind of person this is based on the little info I get from body language, facial expressions, what they say, and tone of voice but it's all thrown out the window because people are more complicated than that. At the end of the day I'd rather actually get to know the person before I truly judge their character. Also when it comes to normal comments I don't analyze unless the commenter is analyzing, usually the "judging" is when I ask for feedback... like, more than a couple sentences worth to get a good idea of how the story is mentally processed by that person. For example when I was asking for feedback after finishing chapter 4. While I was asking for critique, I also wanted to know how the story affected that person, get a vague idea of what kind of people the story draws in or what kind of people it drives away, etc. And yeah, I kinda go the extra mile with it because that's just how my brain works, it just runs all the time. I assume that person consents to me analyzing them and their experience when they respond to me asking for their opinion, but I dunno. Maybe I'll just... teach myself to not think when it comes to my comic or audience, I don't want to scare people off just because I'm an overly analytical weirdo. <_<'

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

I like when you use the physical pain for psychological pain. like someone is in heavy dangers, and comes out with only a broken leg. the other characters can feel guilty, hurt, etc other feelings. For me, physical pain is not enough, it is the reaction it sparks

DanitheCarutor

Oh uh, also @keii4ii, I can vouch that being analytical doesn't make you smart. My dad is like that and he's a complete moron, also I'm not the brightest bulb in the box either, I'm just a slave to my thoughts. Sorry, just wanted to clear things up to make myself look less bad.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I can understand that side of analysing. I’m often curious about my readers because I don’t have very many; my comics tend to be quite niche. So I wonder about what sort of demographic I’m attracting. From the people who have commented and shared a bit about themselves, it seems to be a lot of European and American adults in the 20-40 range who have received higher education (med students, professors, people in STEM, etc), which to me is kind of wild because I’m not writing ‘smart’ comics. There’s no real science or anything in my dark and morbid fantasy comics, so I’ve wondered what about them appeals to this demographic. This isn’t counting my new WT audience I’ve gained over the last couple of years, which is a very different demographic from those who follow on my site, but it’s really interesting to think about ‘What kinds of stories appeal to certain groups of people?’.

keii4ii

@DanitheCarutor Oh, I didn't mean to imply it was a bad thing. I apologize if that's how it came across. I meant it as a "thing I want vs thing I don't want." Just because I don't want a thing for myself, doesn't make it a bad thing.

Re: demographic analysis, more power to you if you're naturally into it. I'm like 'no..... let me just sit here and make this comic in peace.........' and even that's hard enough!

I do think about that stuff from time to time, but when I do, it's usually because I'm sad and am trying to think of non-worst-case-scenario explanations. So yeah, not something I enjoy pondering.(edited)

DanitheCarutor

@Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios) Same, even though my comic has gotten more readers than I imagined, it's still niche. Honestly don't know the age range, but I've gotten a range from psychology and medical students, or people with PHDs to normal 9to5ers who've been through similar experiences. (People who live with schizophrenia or clinical depression, or who have been in bad toxic relationships.) It's really interesting too because some of the readers who comment are very open about sharing intimate stuff about their lives without me even asking, which I'm not sure is due to the type of comic it is or because they relate to it? Either way I don't mind, it's kinda nice that someone feels comfortable enough to share that kind of info despite me being a total stranger. That's really interesting with your comic, though! Like, it's cool the types of people your work can attract, maybe your comic is smarter than you think. Lol

@keii4ii Yeah, but I don't want to discourage readers from interacting with my comic just because I'm into that stuff. Even though the work itself is far from safe I want people to feel comfortable enough to leave comments or discuss amongst each other.

keii4ii

Yeah, I think that's the dream for pretty much all of us, cultivating a comment section where everyone feels comfortable and welcome to interact

keii4ii

Getting back to the question, I really don't think I could answer, given the theme of my comic: "your pain matters, even if it doesn't affect the fate of the world/ even if it seems insignificant in the grand scheme of things." I don't have it in me to go against that and say to my characters, hey, guess what! Your pain pales in comparison to [this other character]'s!

Cronaj

That's an interesting thought. I mean, I spoke of what I consider the saddest scene, but really, in regards to the characters, they might not see it that way. That scene makes me cry, (and probably the character(s) directly involved), but the other characters have other sorrows weighing on their hearts, and those sorrows are also powerful in their own way.

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #creator interview #comic creator interview #creator babble #comic tea party #ctp

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greenmagic-oilspill · 5 years ago

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Shb thoughts/review (major spoilers!) I wrote this as I was playing through weeks ago, left this in my drafts, and forgot all about it. Guess I’ll get to posting it now~~

I was totally making these notes as I went along so bear with the disjointedness of it.

-soooo much exposition in the beginning. It had this weird mix of feeling rushed but also really slow and clunky at first, as far as pacing goes.

-The reunion with Alphinaud was kind of underwhelming and felt rushed even though it’s been a year for him. Eulmore was appropriately creepy and I love the Red and Blue clown ladies. Definitely something Zorn and Thorn like up with them. Oddly enough, my Ronso is also a jester in Eulmore and that was decided way before this!

-Alisaie’s reunion was better as far as the emotional impact was concerned. And I really, really loved Ahm Araeng. Major Dalmasca desert vibes there. I think my Viera is gonna be someone who took up work here. That shit with Tesleen was crazy and I loved it. So dark and creepy - this really set the tone for the expansion. I did Alphinaud’s quest first, but I think Alisaie’s was meant to be done first instead.

-The first dungeon was neat, as was the trust system! I didn’t expect to bring Lyna and the Exarch along for the first dungeon as trusts, but I liked it. For some dumb reason I didn’t bring Alisaie the first time, and thus I missed the opportunity for her to react to the first two bosses in real time. The Lightwarden was awesome!

-Loved the scene when we brought night back for the first time.

-Also loved the scene with Gaius and Estinien! That was unexpected, and I’m glad we are still getting plot developments on the Source. But I really, really want the two of them to team up with Tataru and Krile. Pleaseeee. Edit: really disappointed that Tataru and Krile were left out. Sad we didn’t see Lyse or Hien this whole expansion either. Kinda bummed that Varis was killed, I was looking forward to Zenos being more interesting but he let me down hard.

-Il Mheg’s aesthetic is everything I’ve ever wanted! The scenery, the music, the characters and all the fae lore and the accents... I loved the Nu Mou village, giant mushrooms are my fave... and while the amaro were ... creative?... I wish we got something else, like salamanders or something, to keep with the theme. They were mentioned by some pixies in expressions or something though.

-Dohn Mheg was amazing and gorgeous. Prob one of my favorite dungeons in the whole game. And while I loved the Titania cutscene that happened during our Minfilia convo (she was so creepy!) the battle itself was kind of underwhelming? I was expecting it to be creepier. I was also expecting her to be a Primal. Are there any Primals on the First? (Edit: apparently not. And no dragons either. Guess it makes sense!)

-Oh, characters. Ranj’it was cool, I like how he’s some MNK/NIN hybrid. But I don’t get why he’s so powerful and terrifying when we’ve faced much worse than him (I had the same thoughts when we first met Zenos, so I guess I just need to separate game mechanics from story a bit). And we never really found out what Gukumatz is. I like Minifilia so far, but Thancred is being an asshole to her and I’m kind of over it. She’s a lil too passive about it but I guess she will develop, so we’ll see. As a side note, I love how she’s a Rogue who uses light magic like Banish III. Later edit: she developed, everything worked out, I love them both.

-I like everything with Ardbert so far (also he’s so dumb for using Arbert as an alias in the Source I love him). The role quest for tanks was neat and had some great lore! Though I won’t be able to do them all on one character, I know it... I’m so mad that’s a requirement, so unfriendly to altoholics like me. :/

-Rak’tika was a fun segment of the story! I loved all the Viis and their lore and the Ronkan Empire aesthetic. So good. Didn’t care much for the Night’s Blessed tbh, but Runar was sweet.

-Ahm Araeng was surprisingly one of my favorite areas. I LOVE the night theme, one of the best in the game. Kholusia, on the other hand, is just sad La Noscea and prob my least favorite zone of the expansion except for the dwarves. They redeemed it singlehandedly. Mt Gulg was a fun (if blinding) dungeon and Innocence was a fun fight and I love all the Christianity symbolism.

-At first, I thought the Tempest was really underwhelming for a final zone. Kinda had to suspend my disbelief about the whole Bismarck thing, that kinda came out of nowhere and was super convenient. But once they got to the Amaurot portion I changed my tune - everything about that was great. Loved the dungeon, loved the trial afterward. I’m reading about all these Emet-Selch interpretations and reactions and I’ve been getting some pretty good insights about him. He was a really well written villain, and I enjoyed the segments of the story where he was kinda just hanging around. Still got plenty of questions about the world before the Great Sundering, but I assume they’ll all get answers. Just loved all the complicated moral relativism stuff.

Story got wrapped up perfectly and I had no complaints whatsoever. Really excited to see where it’s gonna go from here.

-Misc: I did the trust system through every first run of all the dungeons. It worked out perfectly, I loved it. But... post game, they all get reset to level 71? And you have to grind in Holminster Switch until you can level them up to do other dungeons? What gives with that? I wonder what the reward of leveling them all up to 80 is... cause I don’t really see the point. EDIT: I found out what the reward is. Sounds kinda neat, but still not enough to warrant that intense grind for it.

#5.0 spoilers #shb spoilers #Shadowbringers spoilers

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scribbledoll · 6 years ago

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Watership Down thoughts, sorry!

i feel like there were so many great and powerful scenes in the Watership Down BBC series that i missed out on solely because i couldnt tell the characters apart some of the times. =‘(

Hawkbit, Dandelion, Holly, Bluebell and Blackberry were the worst for me, since depending on the lighting, nearly any two of these could be mistaken for another. Thethuthinnang and Nettle too had big moments that were lost on me because I wasn’t sure who was who. Some of their voices sounded a bit too similar for me too, especially Bluebell and Hawkbit, who both talked about does enough for me to not be sure of their traits.

I think I would have loved it a lot more if I could tell them more apart. I sort of had this problem with the other movie too, but that one wasn’t as character focused as this one is, so getting them mixed up a few times wasn’t as bad because I didn’t really NEED to keep track of them. But here, each character has a bit of an arc, so to really get the emotional payback, you have to be able to follow each of their journeys. And I had a hard time with that since I couldn’t keep track of who was who.@_@

But that could just be me not paying attention or being bad at telling characters apart. I think if I rewatch it a bunch more times and get the hang of who is who, then I will be able to enjoy it more.

Also, Watership Down is one of the last stories I’d expect to see a sappy love subplot thrown in (because they’re very much animals and don’t have a lot of romantic feelings in the book). In the book and other movie, it felt natural. The “love interests” didn’t say sappy things to each other because they pretty much just met each other. They had respect for each other and counted on each other.. But here it’s so jarring to hear them say all these cheesy lines to each other.

Keehar was kinda..... eh? He was supposed to have a strong accent and be a bit hard for the rabbits to understand, since he was a bird and they were rabbits. I didn’t feel like Keehar earned that slow motion scene. But I’m really happy they showed more of Bigwig and Keehar’s friendship.

idk it might be a nit-pick, but i felt like there were too many dramatic or inspirational speeches. Like... you dont have to remind us how much you went through, or how much you suffered, or how determined you are. we spent 3+ hours learning this about you. some of the inspiriing moments didnt feel earned or came across as being overly cheesy. not that there’s anything wrong with being cheesy, but it seemed to want to take itself seriously? idk.

idk this bothered me and might not bother anyone else, but at the end, Hazel and Fiver are talking and one of them thanks the other for their “friendship”. I mean.... i guess it makes sense, but its a bit odd to me? they’re brothers.

I think I saw too many posts on here that made me expect Bluebell and Blackberry to be 100% confirmed gay, so that lead to me being disappointed because I’m not sure if it was?????? I can see why people think so. I don’t want to crush any dreams, but I also don’t want others to go in expecting definite representation. idk. im not the best at noticing romance stuff so it might just be me not getting it. Maybe they did 100% confirm it and i freaking missed it.

But there was a lot to like too. I liked seeing some of the characters who hadn’t been featured yet.

A small detail but I LOVE how Bigwig seems to have a permanent little rabbit smirtk on his face. It’s so perfect.

I loved how “brother” and “sister” were used. There was a nice moment where one character distrusts another, then later on helps them and calls them “brother/sister” (being vague with gender to avoid spoilers, sorry!) and it was a nice touch.

I loved Fiver, Bigwig and Hyzenthflay’s voice actors the best. They did soooo well in making the characters feel real. Hyzenthflay especially, since i ADORED her voice in the other movie. They really fit the characters!

It was an interesting change to have one character go to Efrafa, who didn’t in the book. I thought there was some cool character stuff going on for them and those around them. But Woundwort’s “be my queen” thing was icky. It was like... really? we’re doing THIS? Instead of this cool potential between two unlikely characters, it’s just gonna be this? But it was still cool to see that change. I wish it was given MORE depth though. Like... did the character regret running away from their safer home? They joined this ragtag group of rabbits chasing an ideal, and it lead them to basically the worst place for a bunny to be! I don’t know if they ever stopped to think “if I never left, I wouldn’t be in this horrible place”. Sure the character’s theme was “hope” but i feel like it would have been MUCH more impactful if that was challenged by the character themselves. Like if the character didn’t just hnag onto it, but stopped to really question themselves. Then come to the same conclusion, but this time it is stronger since they ran it through their mind some instead of just .... having it. IDK but it was still nice! :D

The singing scene was beautiful!

The opening of the first episode was beautiful. inspired by the movie, while also making it its own.

They made the marking scenes much more intense. O_O

I liked how they included the Shapes. I also liked Fiver’s vision from that area too.

THE TWO ESCAPES BEING SHOWN AT THE SAME TIME WAS SO INTENSE I LOVED IT!!!!!

I’m glad Bigwig said the whole phrase to Woundwort!

I wouldn’t recommend watching this without first having read the book, or getting used to the fictional rabbit language. They use a lot of phrases and I’m guessing it could be very confusing to people who aren’t familiar with the terms. They mostly do a good job calling something by its word in the language the movie is in, before calling it by the fictional rabbit word. Not always though, so it might be confusing or tricky to fill in the gaps.

And if I live the rest of my life without seeing a cgi rabbit making kissy faces, I think I’ll survive.

#long post #watership down #watership down bbc #sorry!

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bethhxrmon · 6 years ago

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All I Ask of You Pt. 7

“We start with stars in our eyes. We start believing that we belong, but every sun doesn’t rise, and no one tells you where you went wrong.” - “Waving Through a Window” from Dear Evan Hansen

Pairing: Peter Parker x Original Female Character

Word Count: 4,358

Warnings: More infidelity, more emotional angst, descriptions of depression

Summary: Annie finally hears her dad’s side of everything while comparing herself to a murderous fictional character.

A/N: Soooo, against all odds I managed to get this chapter up on time! Feedback is always appreciated, I like knowing what you guys think!

MASTERLIST

Playlist

Saturdays were meant to be spent being White Swan while claiming to be hanging out with friends. They weren’t supposed to be for letting her father explain himself or justify his cheating. However, because he offered to take her to the matinee of Phantom of the Opera, she had been won over. Granted, she would be stuck hearing her dad’s side anyways, it would either be over a bribe or him cornering her while she was in the apartment with him. Ever since her mom said she told Annie why they really moved, her dad had been waiting to tell her more. All Annie wanted was to move on and forget about it all, that was the best way to get over the news that she never wanted to hear.

Annie ate some chicken nuggets and looked over at her dad. Forcing her to sit and talk before the show was probably for the best. If he had waited until after, she would have booked it and called Peter or Ned, even MJ or Tina if she had to. Listening to her dad justify being the root of all the issues in their small family was not how Annie felt a lunch at McDonald’s should be spent either, but there were too many things going on that she didn’t have a say in that she didn’t have the motivation to cut her dad off.

“I know what you’ve been expecting me to say,” Carter Hardwick started.

Annie swallowed a chicken nugget, “You couldn’t possibly know, and even if you did, I’d bet I’m right.”

“You know, you’re not as perceptive as you think. Before your mom said anything, did you know anything was wrong?” he asked, drinking the black coffee he bought for himself.

Annie looked down, “I knew it was weird that Melanie quit tutoring me and that we moved.”

“But you know what else? Why your mom and I didn’t divorce?” he asked.

She shrugged, “Because me not having a broken home mattered more to mom than your need to tap it without wrapping it?”

Her father’s forehead creased as he sighed, “Well, that factored into it… but do you remember your mother’s partner at the firm?”

“Yeah, Jim, cool dude, what about him?” Annie prompted.

“They were seeing each other as well, I suppose she left that out, didn’t she?” he questioned.

Annie blinked, her grip tightening on the flimsy plastic cup her caramel frappe was in. Her dark eyes looked up to meet her dad’s. It had to be a lie. There was no way that both of her parents had been the bad guy in the relationship. Who was the victim supposed to be then? Could it be her even if she hadn’t known what was going on?

It was silent while Annie took a few drinks of her overly sweet iced coffee. There wasn’t exactly a manufactured response or a pre-ingrained retort for her to deliver. She couldn’t just run away, there wasn’t someone she could run to and ask to help her ignore everything going on around her.

All she could do was slowly nod, “Oh… she forgot that, I guess… well, anything else you wanted to say?”

“Actually, yes, you know how you were adopted right?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

He cleared his throat, “It’s the way you were adopted, well, the way you had been found.”

“Now what the hell is that supposed to mean?” she spat.

“Hey, I need you to calm down.”

“Why should I? I was doing great back home and you move me here without hearing me out and I find out why we’re even here… and now you’re gonna distract me with my birth parents or some bullshit like that?”

“You don’t know what you want and you don’t know the full story. Besides, acting isn’t sustainable, I’m doing what’s best for you. One day you’ll understand.”

“But you’ve never asked what I wanted or even what I like. It’s like you don’t care about anything I work on.”

“Now you’re being self-centered.”

“Because fucking my tutor was such a selfless act, wasn’t it?”

“You say that like your mother-”

“I’m mad at her too, okay?! Just tell me about ‘how I was found’ or whatever because apparently that’s gonna be enough of a distraction for me to stop being pissed at you.”

“You were found in a lab, being experimented on. You were a test tube baby. There, now you get that truth you were looking for,” her dad responded with a shrug.

Annie’s jaw dropped, and her eyes widened as she quickly shook her head, “That’s gotta be some kind of messed up joke, Dad, seriously.”

“Annika, it’s true. I don’t know what that means for you, but I felt like you needed to know,” he replied.

She closed the box of remaining chicken nuggets, “Right, because you thought now was such a great time.”

“Ann, I-”

“Whatever, we’ll be late to the show. Let’s go.”

It was difficult to know what to do with the new information. All of it was nearly too much for Annie. She couldn’t even bring herself to cry or say anything more. Her entire body seemed to numb itself on instinct, almost like it knew if she really took long enough to feel anything that she would end up breaking down in the middle of the McDonald’s that was only a few blocks away from the theatre she was going to. That show was the only thing keeping her anywhere near her dad. The tickets he had purchased last minute were nowhere near each other, and Annie knew that was for the best. Annie had no clue how she would have been able to sit next to her dad for two and a half hours straight after everything he had said. Especially when she had a feeling that she was going to crack and end up crying eventually.

The theatre was nearly packed, and Annie sat in the seat that was printed on her ticket which was nice and far away from her dad. He wasn’t someone she was sure she could ever manage to talk to again. Sure, he wasn’t the only guilty one out of her parents, but he was also the one who never bothered to see why she enjoyed the things that she did. It felt like he would never notice what she liked unless it was something she liked. When it came to classic novels, they were fine, but the minute Annie admitted that the only reason she was about to start War and Peace was because of the musical made based on it, the conversation would run dry.

What she needed was a chance to process everything. Though, it seemed like there wasn’t enough time for that. Even in a room full of patrons, all she could think about what how different she was from everyone. Sure, she was dressed somewhat nicely in a floral dress and a grey cardigan, making her seem just as normal as the other people there. However, no one else she knew of was an abandoned science project.

Watching the musical, Annie came to multiple realizations. They ranged from the obvious like how she would kill to be Christine when she was old enough to truly make something out of herself. When she would be able to spend all of her time acting instead of having to wait for a class or rehearsals for some after school production. Then there were the less clear realizations like how Annie could only relate to Erik, the phantom. No one else was like him, he had abilities that no one else was able to compare to, and he seemed to be just as lonely as she felt. At least, that was what she gathered by the end of the first act.

Tears were in her eyes as intermission started, but at least that wasn’t completely frowned upon. She quickly wiped under her eyes, attempting to keep her eyeliner and mascara from smudging. Whether she succeeded or not was to be determined because she couldn’t see her reflection all that well from the phone screen in the dimly lit seats. That wasn’t why she was turning her phone on, though. Her dad had to be kidding himself if he thought she was going to go home with him. No, she was going to call someone to walk back with her, so she first messaged Peter.

Pete, can you do me the biggest favor of all time?????? -Annie

Yeah, what do you need? -Peter

Meet me on Broadway in an hourish????? It’s kinda important and kinda a long story and I don’t have time to tell it all rn -Annie

I’ve got the internship, I’m so sorry -Peter

It’s cool, see ya later then -Annie

There wasn’t long left in the intermission, and Annie needed to get someone to help her. She scrolled through her contacts, pression on Ned’s name.

Hey are you doing anything??????? -Annie

Not really, what’s up??? -Ned

Could you meet me on Broadway soon, like an hour? If not it’s cool, but yeahhhh…. -Annie

Yeah! I’ll be there, everything okay? -Ned

It’s a long story, but I’m fine -Annie

Okie dokie! I’ll be there dude -Ned

The house lights started to dim down and Annie turned off her phone again as the second act began. She watched as all of the brightly colored costumes crossed the stage for the first song. While she had seen the musical before, it was never while she was in the audience. Seeing the dancing almost made her forget everything going on.

Forgetting everything was for the best, she didn’t want to have a complete mental breakdown on Ned when he came by. That would only leave her feeling terrible and probably leave Ned feeling as confused as ever. So instead she tried to focus on the musical, only the musical. Though, that wasn’t much better of an option as the plot continued.

What was worse was that Annie knew exactly what happened, she knew that Christine was going to have to face Erik again and that Raoul was going to try and save Christine. Despite knowing all of that, Annie still felt tears falling down her face. Whether it was because of her dad or because of everything happening in the show, she wasn’t completely sure. Either way, Annie was positive that her makeup was smudged all over her eyes, but she didn’t make a move to wipe her eyes. Not when it was only halfway through the second act.

It was seeing Erik proposing to Christine that truly made Annie start crying. She knew that Christine would reject him and that he would kidnap her, and that Raoul would just run off to save Christine. By all rights she shouldn’t have been connecting with Erik so much. She was a soprano who just wanted to get by and perform but got thrown into situations from being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Still, hearing Erik’s singing about how lonely he had been all those years felt much more relatable. No one else was different in the same way she was. Though, she wasn’t a murderer, at least, she didn’t think so. Maybe the only reason she hadn’t cracked all the way was because no one rejected her for her powers. Then again, only one person knew she had powers and they lived across the country.

By the time the show finished, Annie’s eyes were irritated from her sweater rubbing tears away from them. She quickly filed out of the theatre with almost everyone else hoping that if she left quickly enough that her dad wouldn’t catch her. He didn’t see her, or he did and chose to not talk to her. Either way, Annie ran a hand through her dark curls as she made her way back outside to the chilly December air.

Maybe a dress hadn’t been the best idea, but there were so many emotions coursing through Annie that she hardly noticed how cold it had gotten. It took a bit of walking around on the street to finally see Ned, and she rushed right over to him. She didn’t want to be around a crowd of strangers for longer than she had to.

“There you are! I was gonna call you if I didn’t see you soon,” Ned told Annie, hugging her.

Annie gave a small shrug, “I was watching a musical and-”

“Is that why you’ve got that raccoon-eyes look going on?” he asked.

Annie sighed, “It’s a sad musical okay? I mean, no one super important dies, but it’s just… it’s emotional, ya know?”

“Yeah, and because of this, we’re getting you some chocolate or something. Do you wanna talk about why you’re here alone, though?” Ned questioned, starting to walk towards Times Square.

Annie shook her head a little, “Not really, it’s just more family drama that was also a bribe that I was dumb enough to take.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning my dad wanted to clear his name by taking me to McDonald’s and Phantom of the Opera.”

“Are you gonna tell me what he said?”

“Probably not, it’s kind of a lot.”

Ned nodded a little, “Got it, we’ll just get some chocolate and take the subway home and we can talk about literally anything else.”

“That sounds like a fucking plan, Ned, let’s go!” Annie replied, a small smile on her face.

They continued walking in a comfortable silence, but Ned must have noticed the expression on her face change as she started to think again. He cleared his throat a little and nudged her, nodding at all of the terribly done costumes pretending to be Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck.

“Fucking hell, Ned, those are so creepy, I’m out,” Annie said, pulling Ned away by the wrist.

Annie pushed past a few people who were trying to hand her and Ned CDs and other different items. The area was just so crowded, and Annie felt her legs getting cold as she led the way into the Hershey’s store. While that store was crowded too, there was at least chocolate and a heater making the experience bearable.

“Alright, you can get anything, it’s on me, dude,” Ned said.

Annie shook her head firmly, “No, that’s not okay, you don’t have much money. Besides, weren’t you saving up for a Lego Sandcrawler thing?”

“That’s not important, you’re not doing too well-”

“I’m fine. My family just sucks,” Annie insisted.

Ned shrugged, “Not doing too well, bad family life, same difference. I’m getting you something and you’re picking.”

“But that model-”

“I can keep saving up for it later, right now, you need the emotional support that only chocolate can give.”

It didn’t matter how much Annie protested, Ned continued to insist as he picked up a package of mini cookie crunch bars for himself. Though, Annie really didn’t think he needed to pay, Ned felt that it was the least he could do. Whereas Annie was starting to feel like she owed him for getting from Queens to Manhattan right when she asked.

Ned sighed a bit, “Come on, I’m insisting. You know you’d do the same thing for me.”

“Maybe… maybe I wouldn’t,” Annie countered as she picked up a bag of fun sized Almond Joys

He shook his head, “You would, I mean, you’d say that you wouldn’t, but then you would anyways.”

By the time Annie thought of something else to say, Ned had taken the bag to pay for everything. She didn’t even have a chance to protest again because he was paying. Though, being around someone else was enough to make her feel normal for a little bit. Especially as they walked back to the subway station to get back to Queens.

They talked about little things until there was another quiet between Ned and Annie. The two teens sat next to each other on the subway, eating their candy. People poured in and left as they went to different places as they waited to get through the Queens Midtown Tunnel. It had taken a little effort to get in fast enough so they both had seats, but Annie was quick enough for both of them.

“So, you saw that musical… was it any good?” Ned asked.

Annie gave a small nod, “Yeah, it was great actually. Phantom’s always been one of my favorite musicals. Right up there with The Great Comet, but that got taken off Broadway before I even moved here. Which is a shame because it had a lovely soundtrack… on the bright side, it means I can use one of the songs from it for my audition. But I would rather get to see it… sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself.”

“No, you’re fine. I think it’s really cool you know all that stuff. I know Peter thinks the same thing, I’m sure Tina does too. You’ve got your ‘thing’, ya know?”

“My ‘thing’?”

“Yeah, like Peter and me are great at science and MJ is always reading and writing… you’re good with theater stuff. You really shouldn’t be at a science school, though,” Ned pointed out.

Annie laughed a bit, “Oh, you don’t need to tell me twice, my dad was the one who pulled that. There’s who knows how many great performing arts schools here, I could get mentored by someone, dammit, but he suddenly decided I needed to be more practical. As if he has any room to talk.”

“That’s a shame… but seriously, I’m not sure if you’ll do great at the audition, favorites and stuff, ya know? But if anyone were gonna pull off getting the lead role after being here for a month, it’d be you,” Ned told her, smiling a bit.

Annie smiled back, “You know what? That’s the best thing anyone’s told me in ages, thanks, Ned.”

When the subway finally stopped at the right place, Ned walked Annie back to her apartment. They stopped talking about anything remotely serious, instead talking about the new Star Wars movie coming out in about a week. There were so many theories they were going over. If there wasn’t much reason to be excited for Christmas, Annie had plenty of reasons to be excited for Star Wars, even if she probably wouldn’t get to see it right away.

That evening, Annie finally got the chance to suit up and she wasn’t taking crap from any petty criminals. It was pretty normal for her to go all out with her powers when she was busy being royally pissed off. She wasn’t over her parents both turning out to be terrible. Not to mention how pointless everything felt.

All she could do was exert the energy out through using just a bit too much of her powers. While it left her a bit short of breath, Annie was able to really feel something when she felt energy coursing through her. She was breathing quickly as she shoved back a man so he was thrown nearly three blocks away.

“Jeez, Swan, I’d hate to see what that guy looks like,” commented an all too familiar voice.

Annie turned around, fighting to roll her eyes, “He was trying to mug an old lady, he probably deserved it anyways.”

“Not to say I disagree, but have you ever thought of a more pacifist approach?” Spider-Man asked, jumping down into the alleyway Annie stood in.

Annie shrugged, “Maybe I’ve considered it, and maybe that doesn’t interest me too much. Anyways, we don’t work together again until Monday, what’re you following me around for?”

“Your powers just keep sending all these shockwaves around the city. I-I mean, normal people can’t tell, but I kinda can. You know, senses dialed to eleven and all,” he told her, his hands behind his back.

Annie nodded, “Yeah, so I’m working a bit more today than normal, is that really such a bad thing?”

“Well, if you’re hurting people, then it kind of is a bad thing,” Spider-Man pointed out, leaning against the wall.

“They’re bad people, Spidey, they did shitty things and I’m stopping them.”

“But there’s more than one way to do it.”

“I don’t need your moral compass today.”

“I feel like you do.”

Annie huffed, starting to walk away. The only reason she didn’t say anything was because she knew he had a point. At the same time, why should she even care about anything else? It felt like there just wasn’t any point in her trying to save people.

As she walked further, Annie noticed Spider-Man following her and she tugged the white hood of her suit more as she looked up at him. It was almost as if he was trying to be obvious. When she saw him give a little wave, she knew that he was doing this on purpose.

“You should give me a lift!” Annie called out.

Spider-Man nodded, jumping down again, having an arm around Annie as he webbed the top of the building. They made it to the top and Spider-Man patted the spot next to him on the ledge for Annie to sit next to him. She sat, seeing her silver leggings and black combat boots dangling from the ledge, cars driving back and forth beneath her feet.

It was already pretty dark because of how close to winter it was getting. The weather was cold enough that Annie had a couple shirts beneath her hoodie in an attempt to make sure she wouldn’t freeze to death. Though with the combination of emotions she felt starting to cancel each other out, Annie couldn’t bring herself to feel much at all.

Sometimes that happened on its own, where after going a million miles a minute Annie would simply stop and it felt like there was nothing. Those were the times when it felt like nothing could touch her and she was invincible. Even with Spider-Man next to her, the one person who could ever come close to understanding her, she felt like there was no one else in the world.

“Um… I don’t really like it when things get quiet. I-I’m sorry if I’m interrupting your thinking, but seeing you fight like that… w-well it worries me,” he started.

Annie looked at the masked hero, “Hey, hey, you don’t need to worry about me. I’m just a little pissy today.”

“Then explain you leaving for a few days with no warning. Y-you leave for a few days and come back. If you need to talk-”

Annie frowned, “I don’t wanna talk about it. It doesn’t fix everything happening in my life. I just… stuff happens and I can’t sneak out or I can’t get myself to because I know I’ll be a liability.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, his eyes squinting.

She shrugged, “Like, when I get told something, or things go wrong I’m not gonna be any help. I mean, I get in the way a lot already, I’m sure-”

“You don’t. Maybe we don’t agree on everything, but it beats being the only hero wandering around. Come on, think about it. There’s two million people in Queens, right?”

“Yeah, your point being?”

“Well, we each get a million people. Then less bad things can happen. I mean, one million’s a huge number, that’s more than enough for both of us.”

Annie breathed out, seeing her breath fog in front of her, “Hypothetically, yeah, that works… but not all of us have Iron Man supplying us.”

“Well maybe that could change. Maybe we could work together for more things! Come on, we understand each other in a way no one else could.”

“I don’t know about right now, but maybe someday. After we finish everything with Tina, we could think about that.”

Getting back into her apartment, Annie found herself feeling just as numb as she had felt since her dad told her everything. Though, she did feel like she could get through it one way or another. Things weren’t completely bleak, she wasn’t entirely alone. Still, she didn’t want to talk about what had her thinking far too much.

Just as she was about to turn off her light to go to bed, Annie’s phone went off. Peter was calling her, and why he was calling her when it was almost midnight she had no clue. Still, she picked it up.

“Hey?” Annie answered.

“Hi… I um… I’m sorry I couldn’t help you.”

“Don’t worry about it, Ned helped me. Why’re you calling so late? Not that I mind, just, you should be sleeping.”

Peter gave a nervous laugh, “I could ask you the same thing, but I had a question. How would you like to see The Last Jedi with me and Ned on Thursday night?”

“Wait, like, the premiere?” Annie questioned.

“Yeah, it’d be kinda late, but would you like to? Mr. Stark gave me three tickets and you said something about liking that type of thing, so I thought you’d like that and-”

“Pete, I’d love to!”

“What about your parents? Are they gonna be okay with it?”

“They can go fuck themselves. If they won’t let me I’ll sneak out,” Annie told him.

The conversation didn’t grow much from there, both of them sounding as tired as ever. She could hardly believe that he’d asked her. If she hadn’t been so conflicted, she would have felt like it was close to a date. Except it wasn’t, Ned was going to be there. They were all just friends.

Annie was being silly, there was no way Peter could like her like that. Especially if she ever told him the things her dad had told her. And after seeing what lying did to her parents, she didn’t want to be in a relationship if Peter didn’t know she was a superhero, and she didn’t want him knowing. Though, being friends wasn’t too bad either. She still got to see Peter smile his dorky smile and geek out over nearly everything. Things were going to get better eventually.

Tag list: @flushings-here / @upsidedownparker / @gaypanda / @ijustdontknowsometimes / @lionsfandomsandbearsohmy (just ask to be added to the tag list)

#peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker fanfic #peter parker x oc #trans peter parker #spider-man #spider-man x reader #spider-man x oc #spider-man: homecoming #mcu #original characters #series #trans spider-man #marvel #writing #fanfic #upsidedownparker

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