#songs that my mom listened to during my childhood <3< /div>
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#songs that my mom listened to during my childhood <3#(i’m not 100% sure abt some of them but that’s fine)#(& there are definitely still so many that i forgot to add)#Spotify#also i feel like a lot of these actually scream *mother* so that’s cool#alanis morissette#skunk anansie#p¡nk#krezip#anouk#sixpence none the richer#natasha bedingfield#natalie imbruglia#avril lavigne#k’s choice#adele#rondé#amy winehouse#dido#amy macdonald#hozier#miss montreal#ilse delange#meredith brooks#mother
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⋆° 𐙚 ₊🕯️ೀ₊°⋆ - on to you
pairings: academy!coriolanus snow x academy!fem!reader warnings: smut, possessive + obsessive coriolanus !!! , toxic coriolanus, breeding, p in v, unprotected sex, fingering, public sex, summary: kind of a part two to " just lay there " but can be read alone ! basically corio and y/n developed a friends w benefits type relationship and they decided to go to a gala with separate dates. authors note : i personally recommend listening to haunted by beyonce during this hehehe, i just love that song sm, it makes me think of coriolanus.. also def listen to "all mine" by brent faiyaz it def suits this and "ultraviolence "by lana del rey ehehe i literally have a whole playlist dedicated to snow so im recommending them <3
you have been having this friends with benefits relationship with your best friend for months now. no one had a clue what was going on between you guys. especially you, you always wondered what it meant to have a fwb with your best friend since childhood. but of course you were always too shy to bring it up just in case it messes everything up. so you kept it safe.
after hooking up plenty of times, coriolanus has gotten pretty comfortable with your body and more secure. probably because he knows that he's the only one that has ever satisfied you. he was so relaxed and calm, while here you were thinking what this meant between yall.
with the end of the year gala coming up, you saw no reason for you two to attend together. after all, you weren't actually together. still, this reality bothered you
what you didn't know was that coriolanus had been building up the courage to ask you to the gala together. it shouldn't be a big deal, but he was hesitating so much. he had put off asking you every time he saw you. the thought of you rejecting him bothered him to no end. it would actually be the end of him.
it was two weeks before the gala that he finally gotten over himself to ask. as he walked down the halls of the academy, he spotted you at your locker talking to sejanus.
"so would you like to go with me to the gala? my mom is insisting i go and i don't want to be alone during that insufferable event with our annoying classmates" he hears you ask sejanus once he was in earshot.
he stood there a few steps behind you, a wave of anger washed over him as he processed what he had just heard. his jaw tightened, and his eyes narrowed, "how could you ask sejanus? you belong to me. and since when were you friends??" he asks himself
he couldn’t help but feel a tang of jealousy as sejanus accepts, glad to attend the gala with a close friend.
your willingness to go with someone other than him, aggravated him. how could you want someone like sejanus to the gala instead of him?a guy from district 2 thats family isn't as well-connected and affluent as the snows. but with no worry, he's quick to come up with a way to get back at you.
"y/n. sejanus. have you seen clemmie?" the boy with blonde locks asked the pair. he blatantly asked them, not even with a hi or a hello.
he refused to look at you after addressing you, solely interested in knowing where clemensia was so he could ask an important question.
of course you noticed the lack of eye contact and his odd behavior, "i believe she was headed to her strategy and tactics class" sejanus remarks. coriolanus nods and says a quick thank you before rushing to catch clemensia.
you look at coriolanus chase after clemensia, hurt and worry bubbling in you chest. you didn’t need to ask your best friend any questions, call it intuition, but you knew what coriolanus needed clemensia for.
you couldn’t help but feel a surge of jealousy at the possibility of your corio taking clemensia to the gala. even though you had already asked someone else to accompany you, it didn't sit well with you.
coriolanus couldn't stop thinking about how angry he was at y/n. he was so mad he couldn't get himself to converse with you, but he needed to be calm so as to not freak out clemensia.
two weeks had passed without y/n and coriolanus sleeping together at all. the conversation between the two people was superficial and lacked any real substance. their pettiness got the best of them, and neither ever mentioned why the other had invited another person to the gala. they both ignored the ache they felt in their hearts upon knowing the other would go to a gala with someone else.
ʚ day of the gala ɞ 🐈⬛ ྀི . . .
y/n enters the hallowed halls of the venue, black gate protecting the valuable and expensive statues in the estate. the academy decided to use a section of the school’s art museum to hold the event.
the entrance led to a room with a barrel-vaulted skylight, textured roman travertine marble columns, and greek inspired capitals. it’s a space so big it feels divine. excitement was slowly building up within her, she did her best not to worry about coriolanus and just enjoy the night.
sejanus and y/n walks up the white concrete stairs, arms interlocked. a white pocket square on his left pocket to match her white silky backless dress. there was no doubt in the world they looked elegant and beautiful together.
coriolanus was getting drinks for him and clemensia, when he makes eye contact with y/n as she enters the venue. his eyes watching her every move, distracted by how the dress hugs her form in all the right places. the dress is accentuating her beautiful features that he has had the luck of touching from their nights together.
not to mention your exposed back, god it made it hard for him not to just grab you and take you in front of every one right there. the time away from each other was catching up to him, filling his days with a longing that seemed to grow stronger with each passing moment.
he turned his attention back to clemensia and headed to her. she stood in her red dress, covered in gold jewels that pairs well with her styled black hair. the white rose pinned to coriolanus's lapel perfectly complemented the white dress of the girl he desired the most.
the night went by without him spending at least a moment thinking about you. when he sees you laughing at whatever sejanus said to you, he'd think about how that should be you laughing at his jokes.
upon noticing your solitude, he abruptly interrupted Clemensia mid-conversation, using it as an excuse to excuse himself. he walks straight to you, not wasting a single moment.
consumed by jealousy, he couldn't bear to let it linger any longer, feeling it overwhelm him completely.
he stands right in front of you. "y/n can we talk?" he asks, masking his anger but you could tell he had enough.
"why? what is there to talk about?" you couldn't believe him. he didn't say a single word to you during the entire night, even when you had came by him and clemensia. he couldn't possibly think you'd be okay with this treatment.
you scoff in his face and coriolanus took this chance to put his hand on your back to guide you outside. you start protesting but it was quickly shut done when he shoots you a face. his eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes had this look in them.
it reminded you of when he'd be fucking into you with all his might.
he leads you outside to a quiet corner, far from the sounds of a hundred or so academy students drunk off their ass.
his jaw clenches, a flash of jealousy darkening his expression before he speaks again. "don't play dumb, y/n. I saw you with him," his tone accusing and bitter.
your heart sinks at his words, the weight of his jealousy heavy in the air between you. "and what if you saw me with him?" you counter, your own anger rising to match his. "what right do you have to be angry?"
he scoffs, his eyes narrowing with resentment. "right? you're kidding, right?" he retorts, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "you know damn well why i'm angry."
you shake your head, frustration bubbling up inside you. "i can't believe you," you mutter, unable to comprehend his possessiveness. you feel a surge of frustration and resentment rising within you, the weight of his jealousy suffocating. "you made it pretty clear where we stand."
his eyes darken, a flash of anger crossing his features, but also a glimmer of hurt. "don't do this, y/n," he warns, his voice low and dangerous. "you know damn well I'm not the only one at fault here."
your breath catches in your throat at his words, the tension between you escalating to a fever pitch. "maybe not," you concede, your voice barely above a whisper, "but you didn't have to ignore me all night."
as the tension mounts between you, his eyes burning with intensity. "you have no idea how hard it was for me to hold myself back," he admits, his voice low and filled with desperation. "seeing you with him... it made me want to tear him apart."
you feel a surge of adrenaline coursing through your veins, the air thick with unspoken desire and pent-up frustration. "Then why didn't you?" you challenge, your body trembling with anticipation.
he closes the distance between you in an instant, his hands finding itself on your waist, his touch electric against your skin. "because I knew I had to make you understand," he murmurs, his lips brushing against yours in a feather-light caress. "you're mine, rose. and no one else's."
his words send a shiver down your spine, igniting a firestorm of longing and need deep within you. "am i?" you ask, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart. you finally ask him what you've been wanting since the beginning of your arrangement.
and then, in a rush of passion and desperation, his lips crash against yours, fierce and demanding, consuming you in a whirlwind of emotion. there's anger and frustration in the way he kisses you, a primal need to possess and claim you as his own.
he pulls away, catching his breath, "you've been mine since the day i met you bunny," his face still close to yours. his lips connect to yours, dominating you with his kisses. owning you and devouring you as his love for you soars.
he pushes you to a wall, your back against it. he bunches up your dress at your hips and his fingers find itself on your core. as he feels your wetness, he chuckles to himself, glad to still see the effect he has on you. "all this for me baby? hmm?" he asks.
you nod at him, unable to speak because of your trembling figure thats desperate for his touch. he tuts in respond, "come on princess use your words."
he moves to pull your panties to the side, now touching your bare clit, making your thighs tremble, “i need— fuck, i need you— inside.”
he kisses the sides of your neck, his aura radiating dominance and his touch was electrifying, each motion of his fingers inside you ignited a fire through your veins. you moan at the feeling of his fingers stretching you out— preparing you to take his big cock once again.
despite the amount of times you've hooked up with him, you were always enveloping his cock like a vice. he continued pumping his fingers in and out of your heat. your hands tangling in his hair as you pull him closer, lost in the heat of the moment. it's a battle of wills and desires, a collision of two souls bound together by passion and longing.
he takes his fingers out of your and leads it up to your mouth, waiting for you to suck on his fingers like the good little girl you are.
and you do. you open your mouth, and taste yourself on his fingers. you match his gaze while doing the lewd act— making his cock harden even more, if it was even possible, at the sight.
the image of you sucking his fingers was his breaking point, he positions himself between your thighs, his hands firmly grabbing both of your legs and wrapping it around him, giving him more access to your wet cunt.
he locked eyes with you, a mix of desire and possessiveness swimming in his gaze. "you're mine, bunny," he growled, his voice filled with a primal possessive drive.
he groans at the feeling of you around him. you missed the feeling of his big cock inside you, "fuck me—please fuck me hard" you repeatedly beg.
he moves closer to kiss you and thrust in you fast and hard just like you asked. he was consumed by a deep, unrelenting desire, every moment with your desperate plea for more, as if he could never get enough of you.
you match his intensity with equal fervor, tugging on his hair harder.
"missed this tight pussy so much, princess," he whispers in your ear as his thrusts faster.
your moans were a symphony of desire, each sound escaping your lips like a soft, melodic plea for more. they were raw and unrestrained, filled with a longing that resonated deep within him.
every moan seemed to vibrate through the air, a testament to the intense pleasure she was experiencing, and each one sent a shiver of exhilaration down his spine.
"you take me so well bunny— f-fuck," he lets out, his pace unrelenting, determined to make you cum on his cock. he whispers "mine" over and over again, his voice a husky, possessive murmur that sent shivers down her spine.
each repetition, timed with his thrusts, was filled with a fierce, undeniable claim, as if he was branding you with every movement.
his grip on your legs tightened, and he groaned as he felt you submit to him completely, his body driving into yours in a primal and possessive rhythm.
"is this what you want princess? taking everything i give you with such good obedience," his own desire reigniting at the sound of her moans. his pace picked up again.
coriolanus noticed the way you nod urgently at him, unable to speak from how good he was fucking you. his grin widened at this, more praises rolling off his tongue. "now say it back to me bunny."
"'m your obedient little girl" you respond with pleasure and excitement in your eyes.
he places a kiss on your neck, his tongue tracing a line up to your earlobe, "tell me who you belong to."
"i-i belong to you corio" you moan loud, his dominance and possessiveness turning you on even more.
his movements become more urgent, more forceful, the sound of your bodies slapping together just a few steps away from the gala.
"fuck! i wanna—wanna cum for you please" you begged, nearing your release
coriolanus groans lowly in response, his own body teetering on the edge as he continues to drive into you. " i know baby—i can feel you tighten around me"
"you're so close. you're going to cum for me." he breathes, his eyes lock with yours, possessing your gaze and your body. "but you're not coming until i say so." you groan in response, unable to hold it any longer and you shake your head no in response.
he grinned wickedly at your inability to contain yourself, "you can do it bunny, you can take it for me," he encourages you.
his words push you further—submitting to his cruelty, drunk at the pleasure that he's giving you. "good bunny," he praised huskily, his voiced edged with desire.
"that's my good girl. take it all for me. just a little longer. don't be too loud now, we wouldn't want anyone catching us don't we?" he asks, his pace both punishing and deliciously slow; a mixture of pleasure and edging.
coriolanus moaned at the sight of your struggle, his own body pulsating with a mix of desire and need. his gaze darkened further as he watched you fighting against the waves of pleasure. "do you wanna cum for me?"
"y-yes please i want to so badly" you begged
coriolanus couldnt hold back any longer; the sight of your begging, the sound of your moans, it was all too much. with a low groan, he gave in to your shared desire. "now, bunny. cum for me."
his body tense, and as your climax hit you both powerfully and intensely, your bodies shook with wave upon wave of blinding pleasure. coriolanus held onto you tightly, claiming you as his own. "thats my good girl," he groaned, his voice a mix of breathless satisfaction and possessive love.
coriolanus held you as your bodies rode out the waves of your climax, his touch was reverent as he traced lazy patterns along your sides, his lips placing gentle kisses on any exposed skin he could find.
"are you okay baby?" he murmured softly, his voice warm and affectionate. "more than okay," you smiled up at him. content and pleasure running your veins.
coriolanus chucked softly, his heart swelling with fondness for you. he pulls out of you and fixes both you and him up before heading back inside but not without a kiss on your forehead.
hand in hand, you walk back into the gala, the warmth and light enveloping them as you stepped inside, ready to celebrate your newfound love amidst the festive atmosphere.
#coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow x reader#tom blyth#coriolanus smut#coriolanus snow smut#coriolanus snow imagine#coriolanus fanfiction#tom blyth x reader#coriolanus snow x you#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus snow fanfiction#coriolanus x y/n#coriolanus x you#corionalus snow smut#coriolanus snow angst#coryo snow smut#coquette#tbosas#the hunger games#the ballad of songbirds and snakes smut#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#thg tbosas#thg#thg fanfiction#ballad of songbirds and snakes
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ten seconds to midnight
pairing: jungkook x gn reader
rating/genre: second chance, fluff + sprinkle of angst or angst + sprinkle of fluff idk lol
summary: it's new year’s eve and you see your ex jungkook again for the first time since you broke up with him.
warnings: time and location are abstract af in this fic so don’t try to piece together distances or a timeline from anything in this; I wrote it in a more poetic fashion – it’s just a *vibe* if you will lol
word count: 4.6k
song(s) to listen to while reading: tis the damn season by taylor swift, ruin by shawn mendes, new year’s day by taylor swift
note: cleaned this up to share while I edit my next longfic – this is something sweet with a sprinkle of midnight angst. if you happen to enjoy this fic you’ll probably like what I have coming next so stay tuned. happy new year’s everyone and i’ll see you all next year <3
Two years.
It had been two years since you and Jungkook had seen each other for the first time in that art history class – had studied together, hung out together, and eventually dated.
Six months.
It had been six months since you'd left suddenly. Unexpectedly.
Six months since those words were flung like daggers between the two of you, as if you’d been in a competition to see who could hurt the other more – who could prove they were less attached than the other was. Pretending as if all of those late nights, whispered confessions, soothing touches, and sweet kisses had meant nothing.
As if in some sort of war, the two of you had thrown, burned, abandoned, and trashed every last remnant of your relationship, overcompensating to try and prove that none of the feelings were real, that the vulnerability was all a lie, and that you'd actually been keeping your shields up all along.
It's the reason you moved further away than you'd originally planned after you graduated - why you’d signed on to the extra work at your job, the extra responsibilities…you’d even gotten a new phone number, claiming you wanted a completely fresh start.
It's the reason why your brief visit home during the holidays this year just wasn’t the same. Why Jungkook didn’t stop by with the rest of his family to drop off gifts or send cards. Why you no longer saw him at the store he always used to frequent at a specific time, the two of you in charge of picking up whatever your respective families had forgotten for Christmas dinner.
It seemed like you and Jungkook had finally succeeded in creating an irreparable chasm between the two of you.
So instead, you spent your short visit home for the holidays nervously traversing the town that still held memories of him. You pushed your cart through the local grocery store in a near state of paranoia, drove around town with the windows up, let others in the house open the door when you got the usual holiday greetings from family and friends.
You didn't miss him, you told yourself.
Even as you chose to go to his mom's favorite grocery store, or mindlessly drove by some of your old spots from when you two had been together - eagerly looked out the window of your old childhood bedroom whenever you heard the doorbell ring.
You didn't miss him.
Now it was New Year’s Eve, and you currently found yourself outside on a fire escape in the chilly night air, high above a city you were still getting to know, at a party you didn't want to be at, terrified to go back inside.
How exactly had that happened?
Let’s take a few steps back.
The New Year’s Eve party was one put together by some old friends from college you’d reconnected with in the area.
None of them felt particularly close, but after spending last New Year’s Eve alone in your tiny studio apartment guzzling down an entire bottle of champagne and falling asleep before the ball had even dropped, you figured you’d try getting out and doing something in the city you were trying to call home for once.
As you walked into the crowded party space, you immediately scouted out the food and beverages area - your trusty diversion ever since you’d been to your first party as an underclassman in college, terribly shy and fearful of large crowds. You could still remember the moment you’d spotted Jungkook from afar for the very first time in a cramped living room all those years ago - laughing with his friends in a corner, his eyes on you for the tiniest of milliseconds before he went back to sipping whatever was in his red solo cup. It was his hands you’d noticed first, the handful of tiny tattoos scattered across his knuckles. You’d been so surprised when he’d said hello to you in a class one semester later, even more so when he’d smiled easily as he admitted to remembering you, the mural of tattoos on his right hand having spread, two new ones on his index finger and another near his wrist.
Back in the present, you grabbed a few cookies and some water, slowly sipping on your beverage of choice as you resolved yourself to silently watching the party from a distance. You were here – that was progress enough wasn’t it?
"Y/n?" you heard someone shout your name eagerly.
You were surprised since you didn't think you knew anyone at this party all that well, but the friendliness of the voice made you perk up.
Turning your head in the direction of the voice, you recognized the owner as an old friend from back home.
"Changkyun?" you exclaimed, shocked.
You hadn’t seen him in forever. He was so tall and almost athletic in his build now, that you almost didn’t recognize him.
"Hey! Wow, long time no see!" he smiled and immediately pulled you in for a hug. It nearly squeezed the surprise right out of you.
You two began a conversation and caught up, laughing over old memories and how much you’d each changed since last seeing the other before he interjected quickly.
"Now that I think about it, pretty sure I saw someone else you know around here..." he pondered out loud, scanning the crowd before he spotted who he was looking for.
"Oh yeah, Jungkook is here. Hey JK!" you heard Changkyun quickly shout across the crowd towards the center of the room.
Before you could even fully register the name of your ex you glanced over to where your friend was calling, instantly spotting the back of a familiar head of hair, though it was longer than you remembered, the ends curling slightly from the length.
“J-Jungkook..." you repeated quietly, eyes widening as your brain registered what was happening.
"You good?" Changkyun asked, noticing the change in your expression. "Oh shit, wait - you two were together at some point weren’t you? Did I -"
The rest of his words evaporated into nothing but muffled noise as you watched the head of your ex swivel around, searching for the source of the voice that had called his name. He was still as mesmerizing as ever - those big brown eyes and soft lips. His hair fell into his eyes as he turned, and it made your view of him both painfully nostalgic and exhilarating all at once.
He was gorgeous. Just like you remembered.
You stood frozen, eyes wide in admiration, until Jungkook’s gaze singled in on you and broke you out of your trance. Quickly his eyebrows furrowed in confusion before they lifted up softly upon recognizing you. You watched as he mouthed your name, as if he was asking himself whether or not it was really you. But it was all muddled within seconds as you realized your vision was beginning to blur. Your throat dried up and your head began to pound, and finally you realized you were about to cry.
For some inexplicable reason, you were upset.
"Damnit," you muttered to yourself, looking down, a tear slipping down your cheek against your will.
"Y/n, are you ok?" you heard Changkyun ask beside you, but you only shook your head quickly.
"I…I gotta go," you barely managed to choke out before turning away and pushing through the crowd as fast as you could. You quickly reached the front door and tumbled out, searching for the elevator before instead opting to take the stairs rather than risk standing around for any longer.
After wandering around aimlessly for a couple floors you came upon a shaky fire escape entrance and yanked open the doors, cool air slapping your face like a tide in a storm. It brought goosebumps to your skin - the chill of the night breeze, the cool steel grates that scraped against your thighs as you sat down, the hard brick of the wall against your back, but still - you found yourself grateful for the getaway.
You shimmied to the side so you couldn’t be seen from the glass door entrance and tried to make yourself comfortable in the space that remained, your legs slipping into a makeshift crisscross position. It was ridiculously cramped, and probably not at all safe, but at least it was quiet. The isolation gave you a chance to work through some of your thoughts without interruptions from annoyingly drunk partygoers.
"Why did I come here," you whispered to yourself, frustrated.
You knew how much you hated parties, and yet you'd gone anyways, only to find yourself in the very situation you’d been fearing since the holidays had come upon you – trapped with him just steps away and nowhere to run or hide.
You were terrified to face all the damage you’d left behind in your breakup with Jungkook - the stuffed closet full of baggage and hastily thrown together lies that you knew would all come tumbling down if you ever saw him again.
If you were being honest, you'd been running from this very scenario ever since you’d broken up with him. Because somehow, after all this time, he still wouldn't leave your head - his smile, the sound of his laugh, the way he could be incredibly cute but could also make you completely flustered at the flip of a switch.
The way he’d felt like a best friend, a confidante, and a lover all at the same time. How he’d made you feel so loved in a way only he could.
You had searched for that same feeling in others, from the occasional coworker to the random blind date, but no matter how hard you tried you couldn't get yourself to fall out of love with him. And deep down, you think you always knew it. You'd be lying if you said there wasn't some part of you that saw a piece of him in everything you did and everywhere you went. You just couldn't lie to yourself anymore – not after seeing how you'd reacted from just seconds of seeing him in person again.
You took a few deep breaths, staring out at the lights and bustle of the city as your finger trailed longingly up and down one of the steel bars that separated you from the open air. Funny how the rest of the world just continued to go on, even when it felt like your little corner of it was being shaken to no end like a snow globe in a child’s hands.
But watching all the cars and pedestrians below carrying on with their lives – it also helped you put your worries into perspective - helped you keep calm.
Suddenly, your thoughts were interrupted by the cracking open of the fire escape door.
Please don't be a couple, please don’t be a couple, you thought to yourself. The last thing you needed were some handsy lovebirds interrupting your ruminations and reminding you of your own failures in the relationship department.
"Y/n?" you heard someone whisper softly. "Y/n, you out there?"
You’d recognize that voice anywhere - warm and soothing when it was singing along to a song on the radio, smooth and sweet like caramel when it was directed towards you, and immediately your body tensed.
The voice continued to call your name again and again, and you could hear his footsteps shuffling around closer and closer to you in the dark. Folding into yourself and squeezing your eyes shut, you prayed he didn’t notice you, or maybe he’d think you were some stranger - turn around and leave you out here all alone like you thought you wanted.
The footsteps continued until you heard the door open one last time, someone mumbling something too far away for you to hear before banging it shut again. You figured he didn't see you, deciding to look elsewhere, and your shoulders relaxed again.
"Didn't think I’d see you here," you suddenly heard loud and clear.
"Fuck," you shouted, too spooked to really think about it before your reflexes kicked in and you jumped, quickly turning towards the voice. "I thought I was alone out h-"
As soon as you looked up you saw that it was your ex. He stood feet away, one hand still lingering on the fire escape entrance.
"Jungkook."
You mumbled his name, aggravated as he raised a brow at your rare curse.
Quickly, you angled yourself back towards the view of the skyline, shaking your head profusely as you attempted to make him go away.
"I don't wanna see you."
"Believe me, this wasn't really how I pictured spending my night either," he retorted, and you couldn’t even lie - the words felt like a cold knife straight to your heart.
He took just one tiny step forward, hand falling from the rusted metal handle of the door.
"I couldn't just let you go off crying though."
"I wasn't crying," you spat out. It was your roughest voice yet, but Jungkook didn’t even flinch.
"You're still shit at lying," he said with a smirk instead. "We may not be together anymore, but I can still recognize the face you make when you're about to cry."
You wished he’d elaborate so you could practice never making that face again, but he just stood still, glancing back through the window. It both annoyed the heck out of you and made your heart flutter, knowing he could still read you like that.
He took another few steps towards you. Like a giant, his stature towered over you as he continued to stand, his feet careful not to step on your fingers.
"Anyways, you left this," he suddenly said, a chunk of metal entering your view. It was your phone.
How that happened, you had no idea. You must have placed it on a nearby table as you ate, distracted by you conversation with Changkyun. You grabbed it swiftly, careful not to touch his hand in any way, but you still couldn’t help but notice the decorative ink that now danced all over his fingers, the way his skin reddened in the cold.
Did he notice you still used the phone case he’d bought you for your birthday?
"Thanks," you told him curtly instead, avoiding his gaze.
You kept quiet, expecting him to finally go away now that he’d returned your phone but instead the silence lingered, Jungkook’s feet shuffling awkwardly.
“Come back inside Y/n,” he said, tone gentle, the edges of his jawline softening.
“Why?”
Jungkook looked down, shoving his hands into his pockets.
“Changkyun’s worried about you,” he mumbled eventually. “…and besides, it’s dangerous - sitting out here all alone like that.”
“I’ll be fine. No need to worry about me.”
You could feel his frustration brewing as he looked at you in silent incredulity, a cloudy huff leaving his lips in the night air before you felt him sit right down beside you. His denim-clad knee scraped yours just faintly as he settled into a comfortable position. Together the two of you took up nearly all the space on the tiny ledge.
"You want a drink?" Jungkook offered coolly, a cup of red liquid seemingly appearing out of nowhere.
It was tempting, but you hesitated. After all, you weren’t looking to get inebriated while on a shaky fire escape with your ex nearby to bear witness to some sort of embarrassing, drunken confession of longing. You generally preferred to stay sober anyways.
"It's just cranberry juice,” he told you, as if he could read your mind. “They have a bunch of it to mix with the cocktails."
Fuck.
Not only did he remember how much you hated alcohol, but also that cranberry juice was your favorite?
"You're the only person I've ever met who drinks that stuff," he used to always joke.
Back in the present, you took the cup from his hands, finally looking at him to search his face briefly, but his expression gave nothing away. You took a sip to busy yourself.
A blanket of silence fell between you. It wasn’t awkward or even necessarily tense, but it didn't feel like it was truly quiet either. Instead, it was more like there were a bunch of unsaid words bouncing around between the two of you, trying but failing to break out.
"What're you thinking about?" Jungkook asked innocently, looking down at one of his hands before focusing back on the view of the city skyline.
"Nothing," you shook your head tersely, only to hear the tiniest of hums escape his lips out of disbelief.
"So you're outside all alone, staring at the sky in the freezing cold and nothing's wrong? You sure about that?"
You closed your eyes, more and more memories rushing back to you – like the times Jungkook used to find you alone out on the campus green, just sitting with the palm of your hand pressed against your cheek, pouting as you stared at some point in the clouds. Or how he used to poke you on the nose whenever you laid your head in his lap and stared into space, that same pensive look on your face. His words were always the same every single time.
"What're you thinking about?"
It was beginning to drive you crazy the more you thought about it – how, even after all this time apart, he was still able to pick up on little things like that.
And it made you feel even crazier when you thought about the fact that you still remembered those little things about him too.
Trying to keep yourself from becoming any more affected by his words, you tried a slightly more aggressive approach.
"Well maybe I would be fine if I was actually alone."
But he only turned to face you at that remark, another deep sigh escaping his lips.
"Y/n/n.." he used your nickname this time, and he sounded regretful, like your words had actually stung. "Look, I just wanna make sure you're ok."
"I'm am ok," you said back harshly.
Another bout of silence fell between you at that – this one like a cascade of bricks instead of a gentle blanket.
"Why are you acting like I'm the one who did you wrong?" Jungkook piped up, exasperation inching into his voice.
"Last time I checked, I told you I wanted to be left alone."
"You know that's not what I'm talking about,” he said, undeterred by your attempt to change the subject.
You didn’t respond immediately, not ready to talk about your breakup out in the open.
You weren’t sure you'd ever be ready.
"I told you I wanted to experience other places…" you started after a minute or so, quieter than expected. "You know I never wanted to stay so close to home."
"And I get that, but one week?" Jungkook asked incredulously. "How could you only tell me a week before you left? I thought I meant more to you than that."
You huffed out loud in frustration, unsure how to respond.
It was true - you did tell Jungkook about your big move only seven days before you left. You did it out of fear.
Because you were scared.
You and Jungkook had gotten so close after only two years, and you’d never felt that way about a person before - you’d never felt in love.
It scared you - especially when you thought that maybe you were just getting too attached, too quickly.
If there was one thing you hated, it was dependency. Needing someone else felt like an indefensible weakness, and you were afraid that being with him, needing him, would only hold you back.
All you’d wanted was some space to cool off and clear your head - evaluate how you felt from a distance in solitude, like you always did when you felt overwhelmed by your emotions. When you finally did tell Jungkook about the move, you were hoping you two would just dial things down a little - keep in touch remotely while you took some time to think about your life post-graduation.
But instead, the whole thing had turned into one big shouting match.
Hurtful words had been thrown like weapons on both sides, and by the time the dust had settled, you were driving hundreds of miles away.
You’d ignored his calls, deleted his texts, and even refused to listen to appeals from your mother, who still kept in touch with his family. Distancing yourself away from him had only made your worst fears become a reality, and in turn made it even easier to run away from it all rather than confront your fears head on.
Avoidance was the only way you knew how to approach things that were hard - uncomfortable.
And maybe that's why you were sitting here on this damn fire escape in the first place.
"I just wanted some space," you defended yourself.
"But so suddenly? Was there something I did wrong?" he asked you dejectedly.
You turned to look Jungkook in his eyes, and behind his seemingly calm face you could see real pain. You really had hurt him, and in that moment you wished you could tell him the truth – that he hadn't done anything wrong. He'd done everything right, but you just hadn't known how to deal with the intensity of your feelings.
"Did you really have to change your number? Pretend like I didn't even exist?" Jungkook spoke up again.
"That's not fair," you shook your head. "You really hurt me with your words when I finally did tell you."
"Because you broke my heart," he exclaimed, getting visibly upset. "You told me you never loved me - that all of those memories, all those moments we shared...” he looked down for a moment. “You said none of it mattered. That I’d ‘taken it the wrong way.’"
"I didn't mean any of that," you blurted out loud.
"That's what I told myself," Jungkook started, "but what was I supposed to think when you completely cut me out of your life?"
You sniffled silently, unable to come up with any more excuses.
Simply put, you’d both really hurt each other.
As you focused back on all the lights down below, legs beginning to cramp, you felt a curtain of warmth envelop your shoulders.
Jungkook had draped his denim jacket across your body. You couldn’t help but fixate on how the fabric was soft and worn, and it smelled just like him - that same combo of body wash and cologne that you still couldn’t erase from your memory.
"Are you two dating?" you heard him ask quietly.
"What?" you asked, confused before putting two and two together. "Me and Changkyun? No…"
The question took you aback. What did it matter to him anyways?
"I came alone and ran into him unexpectedly," you explained further. "Why are you here?"
"An old classmate invited me," he told you casually, contemplating his next words for a moment before continuing. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping that maybe I'd see you though..."
You felt your heartbeat quicken at the casual admission, but you didn’t have much time to think about what it meant as he smoothly moved on.
"What about you? I thought you hated parties."
You sighed, hesitant to be so honest but feeling a strange sense of courage regardless.
"Well normally I do, but last New Year’s just...wasn’t all that great," you started.
"How so?"
You took a deep breath before continuing, counting off the reasons on your fingers. "Well, I was alone. And it sucked. I didn't even make it to midnight before I just fell asleep. So I decided this year I'd try going out instead."
"And how's it going?" Jungkook asked, the tiniest hint of a twinkle in his eye. “Tonight, I mean.”
Was he flirting with you right now?
"Not sure yet…" you played along, "but I'm still awake so that's a plus."
Again you sat quietly for a few minutes, neither of you making a move, not a single word shared between the two of you. This time the silence was comforting. You became hyper aware of his knee brushing against your own, and your insides felt so warm that suddenly the cold air didn’t faze you at all.
Maybe, just maybe…
Your quiet stalemate was interrupted when the fire escape door slammed open and the sound of drunken giggles grew louder and louder, a shaggy head of hair sticking itself outside to ogle at the two of you.
"Oh, shoot, looks like this one's taken babe," the random guy shouted in a slurred voice.
"Well hurry up and find somewhere else, I can't wait any loooonger," some poor girl whined, just as tipsy.
They disappeared as quickly as they came, the door shutting with a bang, and you and Jungkook couldn't help but burst out into laughter.
"Was their plan to screw each other on the balcony?" you heard him utter your exact thoughts aloud. Not so innocent memories crept into your mind for a split second before you squashed them.
He's still your ex, you reminded yourself.
"Not sure,” you said instead with a chuckle, “but it certainly looks like we’ve reached that point in the evening where I typically remove myself from the situation."
You pulled your phone out to check the time. "It's midnight,” you realized.
You two had been out there together for over half an hour.
"Guess that means it's time to go, huh?" you heard him ask.
"Yeah…"
Neither of you moved to get up though.
You weren’t expecting to still be with Jungkook at this point, and suddenly you were unsure of what to do. How did one say goodbye to an ex?
How did you say goodbye when you didn't want to?
"Y/n?" Jungkook said your name, pulling you out of your thoughts. You looked at him with bated breath, urging him to continue as fireworks began to go off in the distance.
"Um…" he stalled, clearly trying to find the right thing to say next.
Hating the silence, you improvised, taking off his jacket to give back. The warmth that previously enveloped you disappeared immediately, and it left you feeling strangely empty.
"Here, let me give you back your jacket before I forget."
"Oh…yeah, thanks," he said, a hint of sadness in his voice.
As he leaned over to grab it, you quickly kissed his cheek before backing away and looking down, brushing the hair out of your face.
"Sorry if that was weird," you started, "but I just…wanted to apologize. For everything I put you through back then."
To your surprise, Jungkook shifted a little closer to you, lips pulled into a soft smile as he shook his head. "You don't deserve all the blame. We both said things we shouldn't have, and I'm sorry too."
Butterflies burst free in your belly, and the fireworks that lit up the sky seemed to form a faint outline around Jungkook’s head as he stared at you, eyes boring into your own, keeping you frozen in place.
His hand slipped into yours lightly, and you looked at them for a split second, fingers intertwined in warmth as he spoke. Slowly but surely, you felt yourself drawn towards him in a familiar lure, like a moth to a flame.
Like a wanderer finding their way back home.
"Any chance we could just pretend like it's ten seconds to midnight again?" you asked shyly, and he instantly cracked the biggest smile you’d seen from him all night.
Jungkook said nothing, instead leaning in to kiss you gently.
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𝐵𝑂𝑌𝐹𝑅𝐼𝐸𝑁𝐷!𝑀𝐴𝑇𝑇𝑊𝐻𝑂..
My work is my own, and I do not give permission for anyone to use it as 'inspiration' or for redistribution. Please respect my creativity.
1. Boyfriend!Matt who cooks you breakfast every morning, even if it’s just toast and coffee.
2. Boyfriend!Matt who insists on giving you his jacket when it’s cold, even if he’s freezing.
3. Boyfriend!Matt who sends you random “thinking of you” texts during the day.
4. Boyfriend!Matt who always notices when you change something small, like your hairstyle or nail color.
5. Boyfriend!Mattwho makes playlists of songs that remind him of you.
6. Boyfriend!Matt who watches your favorite TV shows even if he secretly hates them.
7. Boyfriend!Matt who takes candid pictures of you because he loves how you look when you’re not posing.
8. Boyfriend!Matt who remembers your coffee order better than his own.
9. Boyfriend!Matt who goes out of his way to make you laugh, even when you’re upset.
10. Boyfriend!Matt who keeps a stash of your favorite snacks at his place just for you.
11. Boyfriend!Matt who texts your mom on her birthday to earn brownie points.
12. Boyfriend!Matt who brings you flowers “just because” and says they reminded him of you.
13. Boyfriend!Matt who plans surprise date nights with all your favorite things.
14. Boyfriend!Matt who calls you beautiful even when you’re in pajamas and messy hair.
15. Boyfriend!Matt who holds your hand in public like he’s never letting go.
16. Boyfriend!Matt who learns your favorite childhood recipes to cook for you.
17. Boyfriend!Matt who stays up late listening to you talk about your day, no matter how tired he is.
18. Boyfriend!Matt who organizes movie nights with your favorite snacks and cozy blankets.
19. Boyfriend!Matt who lets you pick the music in the car and pretends to hate all the songs you play knowing he's gonna be adding to his playlist ( Huh I'm a bit confused with what I wrote)
20. Boyfriend!Matt who kisses you on the forehead every time he leaves, even if it’s just to run an errand.
Aaah 2nd thing I wroteeeee
any feed back is welcomed how can I improve??
reblogs are always appreciated 🎀💕
Check my other writes on my account!
#matt stuniolo fanfic#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo x you#matthew bernard sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#fluff#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo
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Welcome Home Website Update Reaction Notes (3/9/2024) Part 2 (SPOILERS)
Here's Part 2 of my Welcome Home Website Update Reaction Notes (3/9/2024)! Hope you enjoy it!
Howdy caterpillar walking ASMR
“It was then that Howdy Pillar pulled out a luxurious looking scarf- If one were to take a guess, it was probably the perfect size for a large house! Wally’s eyes sparkled brightly as he looked at it, but Barnaby was not as impressed. Still, he remembered this was all for Wally.” Barnaby doesn’t like the scarf but at least he knows that Wally needs it to give it to Home…Barnaby’s a true bestie
“There, scaling the tallest of the Homewarming trees in all of the neighborhood, was Sally Starlet herself. She was wearing an outfit adorned in sparkles, glitter, tinsel, ornaments, and even strings of popcorn- She was, as she’s ever been, truly a sight to behold. Even now as she continued to climb up the tree, she was radiant.” Sally is a goddess and an icon
Sally’s nickname for Barnaby is “Barntholomew” lol
Poppy is best bird mom friend lol
Also I wonder what the sunflower-seed ham tastes like
Why does Wally’s voice sound distorted when he says “How can that be.”? Is he sad? Mad? Both?
Awww at least the story ends on a good n-WAIT WHERE’S EDDIE??? WHY ISN’T HE IN THIS STORY???
EDDIE???
I’m scared for Eddie now
Also I love how we get to hear more of Home in this storybook record even if I joke around on how I hate Home lol
Now let’s hear Wally’s Toyland…I think it’s a Christmas song lol
Well at least this one has music instead of Wally singing acapella
Wally’s singing is so beautiful...It brought tears in my eyes sniffles
Also is it just me or do the lyrics “Childhood's joy land…Mystic merry toyland…Once you pass its borders…You can ne'er return again” seem kinda sus?
Like I feel like Wally’s singing about the Neighborhood and how you can never return back home once you entered it? Hmmm…
Anyways let’s listen to Up from the Home-Top which is basically the Welcome Home version of Up from the House Top lol
Oh crap Barnaby’s dead/j
THERE’S EDDIE THERE HE IS HE’S SAFE (for now)
“You lost control!? Can’t you see we’re in the middle of preparing for my Homewarming play? Julie is my Santa Claus! And Home? Her trusted reindeer!” Sally, how does Home being a reindeer work??? Is it gonna drag itself on the stage as Julie rides on top of it or???
Oh crap Julie and Frank are dead/j
Also the song is so silly and wholesome I love it
Now it’s time for “Howdy's Holiday Hullabaloo” Record!!! I’m so excited to hear this!!!
LET’S GO KIDDOS IT’S TIME TO LEARN SOME PILLAR FAMILY LORE
“How, normally, I don’t close early for any ol’ thing! Not rain, not sleet, not snow - not even that time Julie launched herself clean through the wall over there!” Oh god I imagine that one scene from the Scott Pilgrim movie where Scott crashes through a window…But instead of a window it’s a FREAKING WALL
HIS MA AND POPS AWWW
Howdy’s brother kinda sounds like Frank lol
Poor Howdy’s dying inside
I think we all know who Howdy’s favorite sibling is lol
The brother-in-law sounds so nonchalant lol
The nephews are so adorable awww
I just realized that Howdy’s uncle is a snail which is why he’s French lol
I wonder if the uncle is a reference to the Swedish Chef from the Muppets but he’s French instead
Oh god the cousin is a stoner hippie lol
I love Howdy’s grandma
I love Barnaby’s reaction to seeing Howdy’s family at the end lol
Overall the song is pretty charming and I love it so much
Also Barnaby's Tobacco Pipe??? Honestly it’s funny but I don’t think this toy will go well if it was created today lol
Barnaby be teaching kids in the early 70s’ how to be like Snoop Dogg but instead of weed it’s bubbles
Oh god not the nephews
Now let’s listen to “Bug-a-Bye and Goodnight: An Ode to Hibernation” Record
Frank’s voice is so beautiful I love it
But Frank seems kinda sad…
I want to buy that set of homewarming greeting cards to give to my family and friends during Christmas lol
Also I want to try the Crispy Sweets frosted cereal so bad...I NEED IT!!!
And there’s a mini doodle on the side of the pictures too
OHHHHH SO THAT’S WHY THOSE SYMBOLS ARE EVERYWHERE THEY’RE PART OF A SECRET CODE
I solved the code at the back of the cereal box but I don’t have time to decipher the other code that was spread all over the website because I’m too lazy lol
I went back to the Merchandise section and found out that Eddie’s toy that Santa was about to introduce in the radio ad was an Eddie Dear Li’l Mailman Kit
I also want to buy all these toys so bad I don’t care if I’m a college student I want them all lol
“Although our Guestbook is and will remain closed for the foreseeable future, we wanted to properly recreate it for those newly joining in our efforts to explore Welcome Home! After all, it’s fun to look back and see how far we’ve come together as a community! We will be recreating all eight original pages in the near future, so check back in soon to see if you can find your message! Have fun!” I can’t wait to see the Guestbook in the future
ALSO I JUST REALIZED THAT THE CLICKABLE BUGS ARE GONE
Dang I’m gonna miss those bugs
I can’t believe I spent hours on this website lol
My hands are kinda tired from typing lol
Also let me know if I miss anything
#welcome home#welcome home arg#welcome home spoilers#wally darling#barnaby b beagle#julie joyful#frank frankly#eddie dear#howdy pillar#sally starlet#poppy partridge#welcome home home
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I hate all of this “well he was Buffy’s first love!” talk when discussing how much pain and devastation Angel caused in Buffy’s life as if for women our first loves MUST be horrible and painful always???? As if it was unavoidable anyway so let’s not be too critical of him.
First off, HE LITERALLY WASNT EVEN HER FIRST LOVE
The show acknowledges what happens in the movie so canonically what happened in the movie happened to tv show Buffy INCLUDING HER RELATIONSHIP. ANGEL WAS NOT HER FIRST LOVE.
Angel was just the first guy who stalked and targeted Buffy when she was at her most vulnerable and continued to constantly lie and manipulate her for his own selfish gains only to toss her aside once she no longer served her original purpose while continuing to lead her on and show up in her life every time she tried to move on and THAT is why it was so painful!!!
STOP NORMALIZING THE PAIN CAUSED BY ABUSE AND MANIPULATION AS THE SAME THING AS REGULAR HEARTBREAK IN NORMAL RELATIONSHIPS.
I did not have a good childhood, my parents had a horrible divorce when I was 7 and I had never seen a healthy relationship modeled IN MY LIFE - AND YET - my first serious relationship when I was 16 while it definitely had it problems like all young love does (his friends didn’t like how much time he spent with me and his mom both hated me for “taking her son away” but also loved me because she wanted a daughter so badly but only had sons - she was insane lol and we were both teenagers who made stupid teenager mistakes) he was with me for 3 1/2 years and absolutely would have married me if that was what I had wanted.
He would sneak out to see me when I was sad despite his strict parents, always bought me lunch because I would eat what I was sent to school with by 10 AM because I was STARVING because I had an almond mom who never fed either of us enough. Would happily listen to me rant about the twilight books as I read them during that whole phase, WROTE ME A SONG for my birthday (he was actually a talented musician and works as a sound engineer and music producer now) and basically just spent every second he could either with me or talking to me when we were apart. He loved taking me on dates and writing me love notes and we just laughed all the time. He was my best friend as well as my boyfriend and ending that relationship because I had outgrown him was SO PAINFUL because he loved me so much and even during the break up - which I handled HORRIBLY - he was kind and even gave me the birthday present he had bought me because he wanted me to have it even though it was still months away. (I say all of this to try and just show first loves CAN be more than just pain and devastation and if it isn’t making you happy a minimum 80% of the time and you instead just feel sad and confused THAT IS NOT NORMAL AND YOU DESERVE BETTER 🩷)
I know good experiences are not the case for everyone when it comes to first relationships and that’s awful and is not fair because young love SHOULD be innocent and naive. Just two idiots in love who have no clue what they’re doing but just happy to be around each other no matter what they’re doing (like what willow got to experience with Oz in high school) and Angel robbed Buffy of those experiences. He broke her trust of other people and in love and her trust in HERSELF - that’s not her “first love” that’s her first abusive relationship and calling it “her first love” or worse “her soulmate” only serves the patriarchy and harms little girls everywhere who grow up not knowing to look for or expect better because everyone around them and society is telling them “your first experiences with love and sex will be awful and painful and there’s no escaping it” when that is just NOT TRUE at all, especially if you date someone age appropriate in high school. Angel is the first older “man” she dated and like all older men with high school girls do, he took advantage of that imbalance in power in literally every way possible and I will despise that whiney little bitch until the end of time for that and wish he would have just stayed trapped in that hell dimension until the end of time as it is what he deserves.
“True love” doesn’t require severe pain and tears for it to be deep or meaningful. Don’t believe the lies terrible men like jw and so many others feed us.
#fuck joss whedon#fuck the patriarchy#fuck misogyny#buffy summers girl you deserved better 🖤#anti angel#anti bangel#spuffy#btvs meta
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Came up with an idea for a new tag game last night while I was trying to sleep.
What are three movies/tv shows that shaped your childhood?
1. Frozen. I feel so bad for the amount of times my parents had to listen to me and my sister screaming the lyrics to Let It Go (really all the songs in that movie). We went to see it in the theater THREE TIMES, my parents even got us those Elsa dresses that were like $100. My sister and I were obsessed with that movie for YEARS (I can literally quote every single word).
2. Descendants. I very vividly remember watching this movie for the first time on Disney Channel, I can even tell you where all the ad breaks were lol. Another one me and my sister were obsessed with. The year the first Descendants came out, for Halloween I was Evie and she was Mal, and the year that the third one came out I was Audrey and she was Mal again.
3. Since the other two were movies, let’s do a tv show. Liv and Maddie. It was like me and my sister, but twins and older. I related a lot to Liv (I’ve always really liked singing and acting, and at the time I wanted to be an actress when I grew up) and my sister really like Maddie (she’s always been the more athletic of the two of us). We also both really liked Parker because we’ve both always been very good at school and enjoyed it a lot, plus he’s just funny. We watched all four seasons at least ten times.
Can you tell I grew up in a Disney house? Disney has always been a big part of my family, my parents met during the college program at WDW and then my mom transferred to my dad’s college without even knowing it was his college. They always say their love story is like a Disney movie, very fitting. Anyhoo, I’m off topic.
Time for tags! I really hope y’all like this 🙃 @sushis-mylifeee @ivys-garden @thekingofworems @the-stars-are-ineffable @bippityboppityouch @kingofdandelions @aeolianmusic @sushi1056 @nyx-of-darkness-1620 @aaronofithaca05 @jarondont @the-decapod and anyone else who wants to join in!
#i hope y’all like it#tag game#original?#maybe not#but I think it’s fun regardless#movies#tv shows#frozen#descendants#liv and maddie#disney#idk what else to tag
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i remember coming across wmyb on youtube during christmas break in 2011 at 13 right before they blew up in the US, begging my parents to let me go see them open for big time rush in 2012, finally seeing them on tmh tour in 2013. i lived and breathed one direction, like many of us did. i would get made fun of in school for being obsessed with them and did not care. they were there when i hated everything about myself, when i hated my life, and i refused to let a couple classmates from school take that away from me. my mom made me 1D t-shirts and pillowcases. i had 1D bracelets, cups, headphones, guitar picks. their posters plastered on my wall. i would spend hours writing fanfics, imagines, and prefs about these boys, designing outfits on polyvore for outings with each guy.
unfortunately, i fell out of my one direction obsession on a notable day, the day zayn left. to me, it couldn't be 1D without all five of them. i knew they weren't gonna last much longer as a band, so i cut my losses as quick as i could. i didn't even attempt to listen to made in the am. to this day i only know the songs that got radio play from the album.
i wish i would've held on a little longer, because this truly feels like the end of an age. liam's death has cemented the end of childhood for me, and i don't know how i feel about that. i've been watching videos i took from the concert and ones i made in my bedroom with all of my one direction posters in the background. i wish i could go back to this time, with no worries except homework and when the next chapter of a fanfic i was reading would be uploaded to wattpad.
sending so much love to liam's family and friends, the other boys, and of course my fellow fans. i never really made any online friends in the fandom, but i love you guys like family. <3
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autism rambles
headcanons i yapped to a friend (@herconfuse im so sorry buddy)
theres a shit ton, some tdas but most are metal family. also these are copy pasted from spacehey, in parts cause i hit the character limit. four times. if some make more sense reading them as a dm, thats why. im so autistic about this show bro.
tw for various types of abuse when talking about glam and his backstory and family, also superrr limited mention of sh there too
theres probably gonna be another part to this at some point
tdas: - mal acted like a villain for the show bc fans enjoy drama and on my LIFE chris is rigging votes based on fan popularity and who he personally likes. so mal was just being overdramatic so he could stay on longer. two steps ahead frfr (ok nikocado pack it up /silly) - vito x anne maria. idc that the show tries to make her look bad, those two are so cute and systems can date different people bro - mike x zoey, obv, but also svetlana x zoey. shes poly for her partner sys ur honor. also, bi zoey. and super supportive singlet zoey. idk i love zoey sm shes so sweet - dawn is pagan, probably works with gaia or some other version of mother earth - cameron is autistic as hell bro thats not even a headcanon thats basically canon atp. that boy has so much tism in him - B is transmasc (yes this is tdroti not tdas. shush.)
metal family: - i think dee listens to white girl music sometimes - he picked it up from ches, who would blare 2000s white girl bangers to annoy his mom during fights - gustav has been to prison and had his record cleared via shady payoff to the govt - mary was married to gustav via some sort of arranged marraige (possibly a forced taxes and traditional conservative values thing cause he absolutely would [i hate gustave with a passion]) - gustav died believing that glam got fully possessed by the devil during that one scene - glam gets nightmares about his dad and/or about becoming like his dad and hurting his wife and kids. his sleep schedule is still ass to this day - nobody knows the full extent of glam's childhood, not even ches - ches probably assumed glam's scars were self inflicted due to location, and he hasnt asked to clarify bc he doesnt really know how - hes absolutely noticed tho - lif and dee consider the rat their adopted son and his theme song is rats by ghost since they both canonically like that band - heavy prefers the metallica version of enter sandman, dee likes the ghost cover better - vicky listens to viking metal and aggressive sea shanties - glam would love chappel roan - ches would love sabrina carpenter - dee would unironically like taylor swift and would tell NOBODY - dee is not only a brony (canon), but also a furry. he has a fursona and a ponysona - dee would be a reality shifter but he doesnt believe it exists - dee does NOT like cats. heavy absolutely loves them. lif likes them, but also draws gore of them (not in an edgy way but she thinks the biology is neat and has an art style where it works) - lif sits in graveyards in her spare time
metal family part 2: - heavy is a theistic satanist, dee is an atheist (canon), lif is an atheistic satanist but likes theistic satanism quite a bit, glam is an atheist, vicky is a norse pagan, ches is in tune with the universe and just calls himself "spiritual, not religious" - dee writes fanfic - i love headcanons where dee is just an absolute fucking nerd cause its SO ACCURATE bro that boy is a GEEK - dee knows the basics of chemical warfare from his chemistry phase - he could and absolutely would nuke someone if he had good reason
metal family part 3: - dee is a controlled pyromaniac - dee steals from big businesses and never from small/independent ones, he taught heavy who only steals food (candy, drinks, etc) bc anything else makes him feel guilty - dee has a spacehey account - hes also very active on the dark web, and holds a paywall on hacker services for people - he has sent things to people who wanted him to hack for shitty reasons. by things, i mean animals. not alive ones. also, small pipe bombs that arent quite deadly but will still hurt pretty damn badly - dee will jailbreak people's school devices, for a fee - hes such a con artist except hes not cause he actually pulls through - his stalker thing with lif was purely genetic, idk how but it was (see: glam stalked vicky too) - both relationships are super healthy tho dwdw - heavy cant work the internet without dees help, but is very active online where hes allowed to be - dee is a dipper personality type, heavy is a mabel personality type, and lif channels bill cipher without the,, yknow,, pure insanity - that one pink haired girl whos name i cant remember is super nice but super sheltered from alt subcultures and queer people, think caitlyn from my creative writing class (ik you dont know her)
metal family part 4: - lif had a dsmp phase and was an e girl in 2020 - she also has a scene phase shortly after - goth isnt her only style but its def her main and shes super good at the makeup and also the dancing - heavy would pierce someone for enough money - dee would give people tattoos at school for money, but he refuses to do stick and poke so he cant (doesnt have a machine) - lif draws art commissions online - dee and lif are both huge creepypasta enjoyers and have loads of ocs - heavy knows the basic ones (jeff the killer, toby, ben drowned, etc) - heavy and dee would write and produce films with shitty production quality thatre somehow really good and post them on youtube - dee takes college level classes and is aiming for his two-year by graduation (omg look its ollie projecting onto his fav characters again) - glam is pan, dee is demiromantic ace, heavy is straight as a fucking board, vicky is straight but was bicurious at one point cause lesbians absolutely love her (anna has a one sided crush one her rip), ches is gay but doesnt date much anyways, lif is bi with a preference for girls (although technically she has a preference for dee) - lif had a pink and girl phase in elementary, complete with the justice and claires stuff - lif is a demigirl (our lif is transfem i think iirc)
#total drama#total drama all stars#metal family#metal family headcanons#total drama headcanons#im so autistice about these shows someone sedate me
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Here's my Glen Playlist :3 (It might be a little odd bcs I made it on 48-hours-no-sleep during a manic epp ✨✨✨) Made chronologically based on headcanons (under cut), but probably listens better on shuffle.
The first two songs are the themes of his childhood hyperfixations (Hello Kitty and CareBears) that he watched with his mom before he was forced to leave that all behind
Boys Will Be Bugs represents the transition of his mom giving him to his Aunt and Uncle Best to raise (she couldn't afford to keep him because she had to pay for her late husband's medical bill debt)
Everything from Dollhouse to Are You Satisfied is his life with the Bests, as he was under a lot of pressure to be perfect and uphold the family legacy
Copycat is his adult life and the beginning of his rivalry with D2B
Everything through Yandere is his time as Dr. Three-Brains engaging in a rivalry, rediscovering some of his old interests, and having an obsessive love-hate relationship with TwoBrains
Your Stupid Face is enemies-to-lovers with D2B ❤️
Strawberry Cheesecake and Strawberry Weed represents him moving away from being a copycat towards having his own schtick as the Strawberry Bandit 🍓
#glen furlblam#wordgirl#playlist#I haven't slept in 48 hours and I'm manic rn#so this might actually suck ass lol#I like it and that's what counts ig#Spotify
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20, 8, 12!
20. Tell us about a memory you hold close to your heart.
I took a year off college during the height of the pandemic and I was at home with my parents. In order to not be completely unstructured (my dad got laid off at the beginning of the pandemic and my mom retired from her school job so wasn't working much) we had a couple of things we did every week, one of which was singing songs together. We'd pick new songs every week, each one of us would bring things that we wanted to do, and it was so much fun. Looking back that was a really special experience and I'm lucky we got to share it.
8. What's a fabric/texture that’s nostalgic for you?
This is maybe cheating because it's not so much texture as smell of the fabric, but the sleeping bag I used to stay in at my grandma's house, which smells musty like her attic, and reminds me of childhood <3
12. What calms you down?
Listening to music and doing repetitive activites (washing the dishes, any kind of cleaning when I get in the zone, weeding plant beds, going for a walk, etc)
Thank you so much for the questions <3
#i love the smell of musty things if you need to know one thing about me it's that#basements. attics. old bookstores. mbta stations. you name it i love it <3#perce rambles
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some sean diaz headcanons:
1.because his mom, karen, wasn’t too thrilled with settling down and having a family, she wasn’t involved much in sean’s childhood during the time she stayed, hence why he refers to her by her name. the only thing that she brought to the table besides birthing him was his name. she did a good job at raising him in terms of making sure he grew up a healthy child, but she was extremely emotionally distant from him. and because of that, his first language was spanish due to how much more connected he was with his dad, esteban. english came to his dictionary shortly after with some help from karen but mainly from teachers and other children he spent time with during his school years. esteban wanted sean to be bilingual, so he had a better chance at life in the states than he did, considering his english wasn’t the best, but he too improved as the years passed, especially after karen left as he had to work double hard to make sure he comprehended the language without her help. sean’s spanish is immaculate because 1) esteban wanted him and his sons to keep practicing their spanish while at home, so they wouldn’t forget their mother tongue and 2) sean was more in tune with his mexican heritage than with the american lifestyle, so he took speaking fluent spanish seriously. he’d speak english outside the house more often than not as he didn’t have any friends who spoke spanish, but it served as a perfect balance.
( i’m also adding that daniel’s first language was also spanish because at that point, karen had left shortly after he was born, it would make sense for esteban to raise him speaking spanish first. but he was more americanized due to outside influences like english cartoon shows, so he spoke more spanglish than sean. idk why the game suggested him not knowing spanish like ?? what were my mans esteban and sean doing the whole time ?? doesn’t make sense to me and also daniel’s name comes from the spanish pronunciation since it was esteban who named their second son this time around ).
2. sean listens to spanish and english music equally, picking both kinds off the radio, from recommendations from his friend lyla, other outside influences, and from his dad’s speaker while he worked around the house. before esteban passed away, sean wouldn’t admit he liked some of his dad’s music but would listen to it on his own time because he genuinely thought his dad had some bitchin’ taste in music. after his death and when he was capable, sean would listen to his dad’s songs so he could feel closer to him, especially once he reached puertos lobos where it’s the vibe to play his dad’s music in the repair shop the brothers owned.
3. along with track being his favorite sport, sean also enjoys casual dancing ( specifically cumbia and bachata ). his reasoning for picking up the hobby was so he could impress his crushes at any given opportunity. when he first started to watch dancing videos and practicing on his own time, at some point esteban caught him in the act and was elated to see his son try something new, even if it was just to impress the ladies. sean would deny his interest, but nothing went over esteban’s head as he would show off his own moves back when he used to party in his homeland, making sean cringe. but he still took his dad’s pointers to heart nonetheless without fully admitting.
though despite having a good grasp on specific dances, however, due to his bashfulness, he only ever ended up dancing with lyla more often than not, which wasn’t a bad thing as the both of them enjoyed each other’s company and had loads of fun doing so. daniel would also join in the fun if he was around and sometimes even esteban would join, usually a thing that would happen during birthday parties.
#;headcanons#;ooc#:^)#finally got around to jotting some things down for my boy#but ye#hoping i can get to do more stuff here soon
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hey!! shiv here!! you’re so spot on it’s scary really!! i feel like you tapped into my brain for the reading. Let’s break this down!!
1. just be is my motto. When everything fails, i just fall back to this. Nothing to get, nothing to do. Just be. Never fails me. So i’m happy to know i’m on the right path🥹
2. i want my void to be pink in colour🤭 and i have been feeling really good while doing pysch-k?? helps me accept the fact entirely that i’ll enter/wake up in the void.
3. I keep myself entertained lol!!! before i attempt to tap in the void i listen to a bunch of songs to feel light and brush off the nerves and thoughts! sometimes i even like to imagine myself safe cuddled up in bed lol (can u tell i’m deprived of physical touch lol)
4. I’m really shocked how you could see the childhood aspect too cause my earliest memory of my life is my parents fighting and my mom being really upset and i remember the helpless feeling lingering on (cause she’d just look at me and cry when i’d ask her what’s wrong) when i enter the void, i’m not saying i want the perfect parents but just parents that are sort of easy to be around. I really am not my actual self around them. I’m always holding my breath around them. I have accepted the fact that i’m not gonna be one of those kids that have a close and emotionally safe connection w their parents. It’s okay. I just don’t want to feel the need like i’m constantly walking on eggshells around them and my mom to be more independent. These are the tweaks i think you were referring to? i wasn’t thinking about this aspect a lot but i guess during the day, i still have this thought at the back of my mind and maybe that’s why you picked it up?
ALSO TRIGGER WARNING: SA!!
idk if it was this but i was assaulted as a child by one of the family members and i was in two minds if i should revise it! i was bitter for soooo long. Hated men, i even stopped listening to male artists for a while. (it’s so weird but the aftermath of what happened to me as a child is showing up now as an adult) but i am done w all of that. I have made my peace with it and as much as i hate how cliche this is gonna sound but the kind of person i have turned out to be, i wouldn’t want to change it just to be “perfect” so i won’t be revising it. I’m sorry if this upset you or anyone.
I hope i can enter the void soon and share my success story with you (please send good energy my way lol, it’s just the thought that counts really🤭🫶🏼)
Big big love to anyone and everyone reading this and going through just about anything in life. If it’s great then i only hope it’s greater for you and if it’s going absolutely shite then i hope it gets less shittier by the second.
and lastly, i think you are really really good! i would love to support your work (when i can afford it) for real! i have never had such a crazy accurate reading before. So thank you🥹 Hope you’re doing good!!!
hii shiv!!! i’m soooo happy ur reading was accurate n resonated a lot!!
when i first typed the word ‘void’ i saw it as a purple colour, vende why it’s purple in ur reading, then as i went on, the more i thought, he more pink it became. i’m pretty sure i got a visual of it too — it’s so pretty <3 like seriously, if u see me in ur void, im just looking!!!
and with ur sa, there may be something you’re still holding onto with that, or some cleansing that should to be done in ur sacral chakra. as someone who went through something similar, literally js imagining good sexual experiences with someone u love helps…. like a lot 😭😭
and i’m always sending positive energy to everyone i get readings too!! i trust n believe u will enter the void soon and it’s gonna be HELLA fun for u <3 i love u sm!!! have fun!! <3
#abyss .reviews#void state#manifesation#manifesting#manifestations#manifestation#law of manifestation#manifest
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PEOPLE I'D LIKE TO GET TO KNOW BETTER !
alias / name : E. or Ellie
birthday : 18th July
zodiac sign : Cancer
height : 169 cm or 5 ft 6 in
hobbies : writing, playing Dungeons & Dragons, videogames, board games (like Twilight Imperium, Root, Wingspan, etc.), Magic The Gathering, singing in a choir (it's a university choir even though I have graduated already), skiing (haven't had the chance to do that in years :( )
favourite colour : violet and purple (warm shades), black and dark/blood red
favourite book : it's a tie between Prince of the Ancients by Gemma L. Preston (a very nice fantasy book) and The Spanish Love Deception by Elena Armas (this is a romantic comedy with a little bit of spice, it was perfect for my hopeless romantic self)
last song : Safe and Sound by Capital Cities (right now I have my bff's music dump playlist going while I'm on the clock, it has everything in it and I mean EVERYTHING)
last film / show : last film was Dune 2, but show... uh, I don't remember. I think the last one was The Nanny (1999), I still have a few episodes left until it's finished.
recent reads : does my dash count? the last book I have actually finished is Castle of Dusk and Shadows by Rachel L. Schade (it was not bad actually), now I'm listening to an audiobook My Best Friend's Ex by Meghan Quinn, and tbh I'm cringing most of the time, but I kinda want to know how it ends.
inspiration : where I get inspiration for writing? mostly it's life, books, movies, videogames (obviously :D), and sometimes ideas come to me and inspiration hits me while I'm doing dishes, so, idk, go figure. mostly it's the content I consume on the internet.
story behind url : it's nothing special, really. I wanted to have an overall BG3 related url that wouldn't be tied/related to just one character and this was the first one that popped into my mind, idk the word itself is pretty, a bit serene, and magical.
fun fact about me : I discovered a love for the fantasy genre because of my mom. it started way back in 2001, I was in 4th grade, and we read all the new and popular fantasy books. we tried watching LoTR, but ended up fully watching the first movie, only half of the second one and none of the third, because I was scared of the monsters :D but eventually, I got over my childhood trauma, my husband showed me all the movies during the first year of dating and I actually really liked them.
tagged by : @narratingastory <3 tagging : since I haven't scrolled through the dash a lot lately, I apologize if I tag someone who has already done this, but here you go – @architaciturn (yes, double tagging you because I want to), @oathfcrged , @pactclawed , @murderbled , @loyalborn , @dreadgloom , @mystraguideme , @altrxisme , @nightsdogma (but also, if you don't want to share stuff about you, it's all good, I won't take it personally if you don't do this <3)
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22 and 29! :D
22:A song that moves you forward a song that moves me forward... i literally can not begin to tell you how little i understand what this means , like motivation to keep going? makes me a better person? stops me from procrastinating? well there's a lot of songs because what usually helps me with studying or getting things done is either the entire Waterworld OST, dilbert robocop.mp3 1hour edition OR the entire discography of both Wilbur Soot and Lovejoy . usual when studying i listen to all 3. lately what's been moving me forward has been any screamo song but especially Chelsea smile by BMTH. makes me happy
29:A song that you remember from your childhood Sylver - Shallow Water , probably. it hurts listening to this actually bc i was in like 1st grade and things were ... they were something. my mom listened to this a lot during that time iirc heres uh, youtube link
youtube
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Year summary #2
Soooo, I should write the second summary post. Let's babble about music! ouo *System of A Down's self-titled album plays in the background because it's amazing and it should be blasted at full volume*
I think I'll start with the music that came back to me this year and then go with the ones which appeared for the first time. Let's start with good old bands I listen to since forever:
Metallica - Those guys are with me since 2009 so it's already 13 years of listening to them - thanks dad! Oh God, I still remember the hype which was up and about when "Hardwired...To Self-Destruct" was about to come out. I didn't buy the CD - but I will! - downloaded the music instead, but you know... That didn't change the fact that it was on repeat for 6 months. I still wonder how the fuck did my mom survive it, but nevertheless, it might repeat when "72 Seasons" will come out in April. But I will buy the CD now. I am going to store first thing after lessons and buying it. I also convinced myself to "...And Justice For All" album. I love it so much that I got it on Christmas <3 Also Lars, my beloved, you are responsible for my love to drums - a shame I don't have money for them and a place in my flat ;; But you know...Guitar ain't that bad :3
Led Zeppelin - I only started listening to them two years ago I believe. When I was younger I didn't like them at all, but then I heard "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You" in my dad's car, searched for their music on YouTube and since then, they are one of my favorite bands. Jimmy Page, you absolute genius! It's because of his playing style that I started listening to Led Zeppelin and even thought that perhaps a guitar is a good instrument. But then again, I can't just prise him. Robert Plant's vocals are top notch, John Paul Jones, your bass in "Dazed and Confused" is fucking amazing and John Bonham? I love you for "Moby Dick" and for everything you did with the band in terms of music. Every album from "Led Zeppelin" to "Coda" is a masterpiece, my mind won't ever change.
Black Sabbath - If I came back to Metallica, I also came back to Black Sabbath. Second heavy metal band my dad showed to me. I don't like every song they made, but I certainly have my favorites and this is a very nostalgic band for me. I even bought "Paranoid" album for Christmas for my dad in this year. He was so happy to get it! We listened to it yesterday when we waited for mom. I will always connect this band with my dad and so, it'll be always nostalgic.
Iron Maiden - I certainly have favorite albums but they are not my favorite band - although I can kill if someone skips "Journeyman" if it's played, this is a beautiful song - but they are very good. If they are played, you bet your ass I will listen to the changes in tempo and how the song changes in general because of it. They are very unique and just impossible to ignore for me.
Linkin Park - the band which was with me during the shitty years. But they were also with me when life started becoming better. I do love their older albums, but "A Thousand Suns" is my beloved album and the one to just play when there's sadness around - "Iridescent", my beloved <3 - and it's also the album I connect with one cartoon from my childhood and movies based on it. It's a kind of nostalgic trip. Also, Linkin Park is the only band where I pay much more attention to lyrics than melody. Their lyrics are usually dark, but I love them.
And now, coming to the music which appeared for the first time in this year:
System of A Down - my beloved band, can I say more about them than I already did? It helps me with growing up and finding self-confidence which I lacked for a long time. Their lyrics are also something different. It's usually like a poetry, which can be sang and it is, in the most wonderful way. Though I have to make a statement there, because I only mentioned it once on this page. Daron Malakian is the guy who actually convinced me that guitar is a wonderful instrument and a person who loves music and didn't attend music school can still learn to play it and create music. I love his style of playing. It's simple, not very difficult, but the way he puts the passion in it, let it be in System or in Scars on Broadway, you can hear that he loves the instrument. Also he's a very sweet guy <3 BUT everyone knows who is a total sweetheart and sunshine for me so, moving on~ (I will not talk about Scars on Broadway and Serj Tankian's solo carrier separately, I would have to copy paste half of what I already said)
Slayer - going chronologically, then there's this thrash metal band, which I like, but only have two favorite albums so far. "Reign in Blood" and "Diabolus in Musica". I didn't listen to all of their discography, but those two are my favorite. I love how heavy and quick their playing style is, how angry Tom Araya sounds. Slayer is definitely a band to go for me if I want to listen to something heavier, shut my neighbors up or scare the fuck out of others XD
Dio - if Black Sabbath came back, so did the album "Heaven and Hell" and so Dio came back as well. Lately, so yesterday, I heard one of the albums of "Rainbow" where he sang and daaaaaaamn. This guy is just pure gold with vocals and the way he sings. You can literally lose yourself in his songs, this is how good he is! If you don't know him, you gotta give a listen to either "Heaven and hell" or "Children of the Sea" - you won't regret it, believe me <3
Ritchie Blackmore's Rainbow - the guitarist of "Deep Purple", having a band, where Dio is on vocals and after him another amazing vocalists? Dude, I couldn't say no to that! Especially that "Black Masquerade" stole me from the first note. "Stranger In Us All", the first album I heard from them and the one which convinced me to dug into Rainbow's discography. They have very catchy melodies, like really catchy XD
Korn - oh boy, I have a problem with this band! I always had one, because there are the amazing vocals by Jonathan Davis, but then there is this specific sound and dark as shit lyrics, which can make anyone depressed, really. I have a few songs that I like, but I don't imagine having any albums from them. I, of course, won't say that Korn is bad, not at all. It's just my hate-love relationship kind of band.
The Doors - the last one which appeared out of fucking nowhere at the end of the year. It was literally as if Jim Morrison heard me saying one day that, and I quote: "I'll probably won't find another band like System" on the other side and was like: "Hold my beer, dear". I only heard them once and it was the song "People Get Strange" and their music hit me like a train. They are so different, Morrison's voice is just so amazing, I can't get enough of it - the deepness in "End Of The Night" does things to me, not to mention the way their music is played. Either very slow or suddenly it becomes so weird, taking the fucking length of a song to limits - 22 minutes of their playing? It's nothing to them. The guitar is top notch, heck even the piano, or whatever the instrument is called. It just so fits together! I love them <3
And this is probably it. The only thing I can say at the very end is that, to my favorite bands, which almost always consisted of Metallica and Led Zeppelin, I had to add System of A Down and The Doors in this year. Do I regret discovering those two new for me bands? Heck no! They are amazing and I would be sad without their music. With that said, I will have to search for The Doors's CDs as well, and I think they will be as hard to find as Led Zeppelin's. But such is life, I'll be screaming here if I find any the next time I'll go to music store XD
#again#long one#but enjoy <3#I'll talk about games tomorrow ouo#the nerd will come out of hiding XD#talking corner
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