#son of a bitch. i just wanted it to be in the 50/60s on my birthday but it's going to be 71

[grimandghoulish]

.

[ssinnerplazahotel]

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*Chapter Twelve*

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WC: 6k

Warning: 18+, age gap, smut, fluff, toxic elvis, manipulation, drug use, it’s the 50s/60s, painful-difficult-devastating-life-changing-extraordinary love

Pairing: elvis x black reader

Disclaimer: full of inaccuracies, inaccurate timeline, inaccurate depictions of Graceland, historically inaccurate themes and items

Masterlist: Prologue, Ch. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11

You didn’t know what was said in the brief meeting that Elvis had with the Colonel the following morning, but a photo op was ordered for an announcement that would be in the papers.

“A photo op?”

“They want a good shot of us for the paper. A more formal introduction for the public.”

You frowned as you were pressured to choose your look for the photo.

“I don’t know. I can’t decide.”

“I like this one.” Elvis pointed out a lime dress with a pink pattern.

“It’s too loud, isn’t it?” You tilted your head as you examined the material.

“Suits the mood.”

“If you say so.”

He was forced out of the room so you could dress and go through hair and makeup. Soon you were preparing to head out for the photo.

“I knew you’d look perfect,” He said when he saw you. “The camera’s gonna love you, baby.”

“Are you sure it’s not too much?” You ask. “The makeup and the dress—it’s not like me.”

“It’s perfect,” He promised. “You’re my girl now so you hafta keep up your appearance.”

“Did I do a bad job at keeping it up before?”

“Oh, you did just fine.” He kissed your cheek and a camera flashed, signaling the arrival of the photographer.

“Let’s get the two of you outside,” He said instructed promptly. “Colonel wants this sent to the press by the end of the night.”

“Why?” You wondered.

“Come on, baby, let’s go outside,” Elvis said, putting his arm around you. “It’s just something he does. He knows how to…appeal to certain audiences.”

You stepped out onto the porch, stopping just before the first step and facing him. “And what audience are we appealing to now?”

“Those good, old, vanilla sons of bitches you always hear about,” He said, making you laugh. “They’re upset now, but they just need to see us kissin and huggin and lovin on each other. As a way to, y’know, convince them that I actually love you and that I’m not taking you in as a concubine.”

“Is that what people are saying?”

“People are saying a lot.”

The photographer gave the two of you instructions on what to do and you went around taking pictures for at least thirty minutes. You never thought taking a photo could take so long.

“Let’s have one with you sitting down and her standing next to you,” He said, gesturing for you to move onto the steps. “Put your hand on his shoulder.”

“How much longer, boss?” Elvis asked—you could tell he was getting restless.

“Just a few more.” He snapped the photos in a rush and finished up, true to his word. “Alrighty, I’m gonna get these to print and they should start circulating in no time.”

The photos were circulating that night. You had only seen a few pages of different newspapers, they all said relatively positive things.

“Where are the bad ones?” You asked.

“The what?” Elvis responded, appearing from the bathroom.

“The bad ones.”

“What’re you talkin about?

You crossed your arms. “Where are all the articles from the people that were standing out there crying their eyes out, ready to take my head off?”

His eyebrows drew together. “I don’t know, birdie. I brought those so you could see how the pictures came out, not so you could catch up on the latest hit pieces.”

“You can’t shield me from them, E, I have to see them,” You said. “It’ll just make things harder if I don’t.”

“Trust me, you’ll be better off not getting too caught up in the press,” He said, joining you in bed. “They chew you up and spit you out. I don’t want that to happen to you. Not my baby birdie.”

You pouted but moved on. “This one’s saying that the coat I was wearing when we got off the plane is sold out now. Do you think that’s true?”

“Enough of this,” He said, taking the pages from you and sweeping them to the ground.

“No~”

“You’ve had enough.”

The phone rang, cutting your rebuttal short. Elvis stood and snatched off the hook. You went to gather the papers from the ground—stacking them neatly on the bed.

“Who was it?” You asked when he hung up.

“I have a surprise for you downstairs,” He said.

“For me?” You chuckled. “What is it?”

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise, would it? Come on. Liz is here to get you ready.”

“That poor woman,” You said with a frown. “I can do my own hair and makeup.”

“I know, but she knows how I like it.” He took your hands in his and brought them up to his lips.

You hummed thoughtfully and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Do you like the way she does it, baby?”

His eyes darkened and his lips turned up in a smirk. “Don’t you?”

“If you like it, I love it.” You smiled, standing up on your toes to kiss him. “Get out of here so I can change.”

“It’s not gonna be good you keep winding me up and not letting me sing,” He said, pulling your body against his. “I might not be able to keep showing so much restraint.”

“I’m not asking you to,” You said. “I’m yours, aren’t I?”

“You are.”

“Then do what you want with me.”

There’s a knock on the door, signaling Elizabeth Monroe’s arrival. Elvis had her hired as your full time stylist and makeup artist. Apparently he had instructed her on exactly how you should be styled.

“Nothing but the best for my girl,” He had said when he introduced the two of you.

She didn’t say much as she dressed you, she said even less as she applied your makeup. You figured she was just concentrating on her work.

“Do you like it?” She asked after all was said and done.

“Yes, thank you.” You examined your face in the mirror. “Do you think he’ll like it?”

She met your eyes in your reflection and nodded. “He will.”

You hesitated on your way downstairs—you still felt uneasy being around everyone. You were sure they talked about you when you weren’t around.

Elvis appeared at the bottom of the stairs. “There you are.”

Your anxiety was relieved at the sight of him. “What do you think?”

“You’re perfect,” He said just as someone came to the door. “It’s for you.”

He took you by the hand and went to open the door. Your eyes widened when you saw Andrea standing there.

“Oh my god,” You said with a stunned smile, looking up at Elvis. “Why?”

“I thought it’d cheer you up after the week you’ve had,” He said before addressing her. “Andrea.”

“Elvis,” She said shortly as you hugged her.

“It’s so good to see you again,” You said. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Well, I was summoned.” She gestured to Elvis with a sarcastic smile.

“Thank you so much for leaving your post at the gates of heaven, angel,” He responded before stepping forward to kiss your cheek. “I’ll let you ladies do whatever it is that you do.”

“Thank you, E.”

“You’re welcome, birdie.”

You watched him leave before facing Andrea. She looked around the foyer with her arms crossed—her expression bleak.

“It’s quieter upstairs, come on.”

She nodded and followed you. You led her to the office upstairs and plopped down on the black, leather couch.

“Sit.” You laughed, patting the spot in front of you. “Tell me how you’ve been.”

“I’ve been fine.” She took a seat facing you. “I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw you in the paper.”

“Yeah, everything happened really fast,” You said. “What do you think?”

“About what?”

“Elvis and me.”

She looked off, quirking an eyebrow. “It’s…a lot.”

You chuckled. “Good or bad?”

“Shouldn’t you tell me?”

“Hmmm…good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, it’s good.”

You smiled, she offered a small one in return.

“What happened to Joel from Hawaii?”

“Oh, well…we separated.”

She nodded. “Because you decided to be with Elvis?”

“Well, I mean~ It’s more complicated than that,” You said. “Elvis and I, we just…have history.”

“How far back?” Andrea asked.

“Since before I met you, I guess.” You thought for a moment. “Yeah, a while before I met you.”

“So, this mystery man was…”

“Elvis.”

She continued to look stunned but she laughed now. “For the love of god, you said he was married.”

You laughed along with her. “I had to throw you off somehow.”

“You are so full of surprises,” She said. “First you disappear without a trace, then you show up engaged, and now you’ve left that guy for his famous friend.”

“Oh, god, don’t say it like that,” You complained, laughing despite yourself. “I told you it was complicated. I tried with Joel, but…it wouldn’t have worked out.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m in love with Elvis.”

“Well…you’re causing riots in the streets.” You were grateful for the change in subject. “People are either tearing newspapers from store walls or breaking down the door to find your latest outfit. It’s pure chaos.”

“Really?”

“It’s like you’re famous.”

You smiled, shaking your head in denial. “I don’t know about that.”

Andrea sighed thoughtfully, falling silent for a moment. “You’re so…different now.”

“Good or bad?”

“…I can tell you’re in love.”

*

“A lot of people are convinced you don’t have a voice.”

“Are they really?”

You smiled down at Elvis—the telephone to your ear as you sat in his lap. At first you refused the interview. You didn’t want your voice broadcasted on the radio and you didn’t want your words plastered all over the paper. But Elvis talked you into it, promising to be by your side the entire time.

“You two are so different. You come from different backgrounds, he’s older~”

“Mhm~”

“You’re polar opposites really.”

“Yes.”

“What we all want to know is what you get up to. What do you talk about?”

“Oh, we get up to all kinds of stuff.”

Elvis quirked an eyebrow, gesturing to the slip of paper on the desk as a reminder for you to stick to the script.

“We do all the usual things.” You tilted your head to read the words from the page. “We have…very interesting conversations.”

“What’s interesting to a nineteen year old girl?”

“You should ask Elvis.”

He patted your thigh admonishingly—smirking despite himself.

“Anyway, I’m almost twenty.”

“What do you talk about, almost twenty?”

“You’re so funny.”

“Humor us here in radioland.”

“We talk about all kinds of things. He’s an intellectual.”

“He teaches you a lot, huh?”

“Sure.”

“There are some fans out there that refuse to believe the two of you are the real thing. What do you say to them?”

“I understand, honestly. I can’t believe it myself sometimes.”

You rolled your eyes at that one—cutting an eye at Elvis.

“There’s talk of marriage, any truth to that?”

“Not that we know of.”

“Folks are saying there’s gonna be some serious consequences if you aren’t married.”

“…Is that what they’re saying in radioland?”

“Does that scare you?”

“…Stick to the script, Quincy.”

The interview came to an end and you looked at Elvis with a serious expression. He laughed. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?”

“‘Serious consequences?’”

“Oh, birdie~”

“Don’t tell me not to worry.”

He tilted his head, smiling at you silently. You stood with a sigh and grabbed your cigarettes off the corner of the desk.

“Tell me what they’re saying,” You demanded. “Andrea tells me what they say in the paper, E, you can’t keep it from me.”

“They want us to get married.”

“So I’ve heard. Why?”

“Hell if I know. These people want something different every goddamn day. It’s just another thing.”

You struck a match and lit the end of your cigarette. “What are they saying is gonna happen if we don’t?”

He shrugged. “They’ll ban me across the country on the basis of morality, send us to jail, hang us from the ceiling, and whatever else they can come up with. Shit, maybe they’ll send us to the fucking moon. I have no idea what they say in those meetings.”

You took a drag from your cigarette. “How can they force people to do things like this?”

“I don’t know, but we’re sorting everything out as best we can.”

“You keep saying that.”

“And you keep wasting your time worrying.” He rounded the desk, leaning against the front of it as he spoke. “What’s the worst that can happen? We end up having to get married?”

“Yes, Elvis, that’s the worst that can happen,” You said. “That means they have all the control.”

“No one has all the control. It’s a bunch of people sitting around talking, that’s all it is.”

“The last time a bunch of people sat around talking about you you got shipped to Germany.”

“Goddamnit, birdie, will you let it go?”

You turned to leave the office, too annoyed to say anything else, but he caught your arm and made you face him.

“I’m not gonna let anything hurt you or take you away,” He said. “Not when I just got you back.”

You met his eyes without speaking—your jaw set.

“I’ll handle it. Alright?”

“…Alright.”

You weren’t sure what decisions were made or who had put everything together, but, soon, you were getting married.

You had woken up on the eve of your wedding day—unbeknownst to you—to Liz laying out different designs for hair, makeup, and your dress. When you asked where Elvis had gone you were told that he and the rest of the guys were already in Nevada.

“We have these.” Liz showed you the dresses in a hurry. “We can get the dress of your choice fitted and altered overnight. That way it’ll be ready tomorrow morning.”

“What is happening?” You asked, bewildered. “I need to talk to Elvis, right now.”

“There’s no time. You’re leaving as soon as Andrea gets here.”

As if on cue, Andrea came bustling through the door—luggage in tow. “There’s the bride-to-be~”

“Andrea, do you have any idea what’s going on?” You asked. “Who’s orchestrating all of this?”

“I don’t know.” She looked concerned now. “Jerry called me last night and told me that Parker wanted everybody here by eight this morning.”

“Liz, who told you to be here?”

“Parker.”

You looked around the room and stopped one of the people packing your bags. You asked them the same question, although you were already sure of the answer.

“The Colonel.”

You groaned, this couldn’t be happening. The entire place was in chaos around you.

“I’m sorry, but you have to choose now,” Liz said apologetically.

Andrea tried to aid you in making a decision. You could’ve cried at the thought of choosing your wedding dress fifteen minutes after waking up on what you had assumed would be a normal day. You had minutes to contemplate your decision as Liz dressed you in the clothes you would be traveling in.

“I like the V-cut. Don’t you?” Andrea asked

“I don’t know,” You said. “What do you think he’d want, Liz?”

“For christ sake, it’s your wedding too,” Andrea said. “Which one do you want?”

“Leaving for the airport!”

Liz encouraged you to go with your first choice. “It’s the best option.”

You didn’t have time to think as you were ushered from the house. You arrived in Nevada that night after a miserable flight. At the hotel, you were rushed from the car and into the back entrance of the building.

“Where are we going?” You must’ve asked a thousand times already. You were relieved when you saw Jerry meeting you at the end of the hall. “Where is he?”

“He’s been on the phone for hours trying to sort things out with Parker,” Jerry said as he led the way. “He’s tryna to see if he can’t get this whole thing done away with.”

Jerry led you to a conference room that had a long chestnut table at the center with padded office chairs. You immediately spotted Elvis pacing on the telephone. He handed the phone off when he saw you.

“Come over here, birdie.” He guided you to the corner of the room—ducking his head as he spoke. “Are you okay? Is Andrea with you?”

“What is happening?” You asked, matching his low voice. You didn’t recognize anyone in the room apart from Elvis and Jerry. The men sitting around the end of the table all wore suits and had expressions that appeared permanently stern. They didn’t take their eyes off of you the entire time.

“Are we ready to sign the papers?”

“Nah, we’re still figuring some things.”

You shook your head in disbelief. “Is this real?”

Elvis rubbed his face. “I’ve been talking to that son of a bitch for hours. He sent me here to talk to these people but they’re not budging. He keeps saying his hands are tied and there’s nothing he can do.”

“Do you believe that?”

“I have no reason not to. He’s been trying to get the public on our side.”

“This isn’t about the public.”

“It’s not?”

“Is Parker trying as hard as he could be?”

Elvis shrugged, looking off for a moment. “I don’t think they’re gonna let us leave here without signing those papers.”

He was right—they didn’t. Elvis Presley was given until midnight on that day to declare you his wife or risk a countrywide ban on the basis of morality. To which, as a direct consequence, he would be ordered to answer to all statewide warrants made for his arrest. That was only his end of the bargain, there was no telling what they’d do to you.

Your marriage was official by 11:56 that night.

The party following would be strictly for photos—a tight hour of partying for the camera and then off to bed.

“The bride needs her beauty sleep.”

You didn’t get a chance to see Elvis again until you were preparing to walk down the aisle. There had been no rehearsal, you had no idea how it was going to go.

The ceremony happened fast, like everything else. They instructed the two of you on every move you made and had you pause for photos along the way. You said your vows—the generic ones the minister told you to repeat—kissed, and you were escorted directly from the altar into a press conference.

“You just sit there and look pretty, mama,” Elvis said. “I’ll do all the talking.”

You were relieved. You were too overwhelmed by the crowd to speak. You sat by his side without tearing your gaze away from him for more than a minute. You were so deeply and devastatingly in love with him—yet you felt no emotion towards your union. You were married before your eyes and you had no time to react.

“What can we expect from the happy couple moving forward?”

“Keep an eye out for us, you’ll see.”

You were whisked away directly for your “honeymoon.” In reality, you spent hours on a plane by yourself back to Memphis—Elvis was going to be away filming in Los Angeles and you were on your way back home.

You hadn’t had a moment alone with Elvis since the night before the wedding and most of that time was spent calling around trying to get it canceled. You didn’t want to leave without speaking to him, but you didn’t get the chance.

“I need to talk to you,” You tried to tell him as he walked you to your flight. There were people on either side of each of you—obstructing the paparazzi’s view.

“Go up with Ray,” He said, gesturing to the stairway of the plane. “I’ll see you back at the house.”

“Elvis,” You said, still trying to get through to him.

“It’s okay, birdie.” He kissed your forehead before you were being ushered up the steps.

“No.”

“I love you, okay?”

You caught a final glimpse of his back as he was rushed to his car. You were on your way back to the house you had left in a frenzy two days prior. You should’ve felt different. Or maybe you were expecting too much.

Andrea was already at Graceland when you arrived. She greeted you as you walked through the door.

“Mrs. Presley,” She said, hugging you. “Welcome to your honeymoon.”

“Wow.” You looked around the foyer. “It’s everything I ever wanted.”

There was a party happening downstairs but you weren’t sure it had anything to do with you. There was always a party downstairs. A constant conjugation of people.

“You aren’t going to spend every day lying by the phone are you?”

“No, Andrea. I told you, I’m just tired.”

She slumped onto the end of the bed. “You aren’t pregnant, are you?”

You were bewildered by the question. “No, why would you ask?”

“It’s been a week since you’ve gotten out of bed.”

“It has not.”

“It has.”

“It’s Tuesday.”

“It’s Friday.”

Time passed like that whenever he was away. You had thought you escaped that feeling forever but you were being reminded of it all over again. The days didn’t matter without him, they were too long and too demanding.

“Serena and Liz are here,” Andrea continued. She stripped the duvet from your legs and stood to turn the lights on. “There are people here to take your picture.”

You complained and shielded your eyes. “The same people from the other day?”

“The same people,” She confirmed. “They’ve been coming every day. They want you sitting somewhere downstairs.”

“Sitting?”

“That’s what they said.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because it’s a special day.”

“Is it?”

Andrea revealed a tiny black box with a red bow wrapped around it. It only dawned on you then that you had forgotten your own birthday throughout all the hustle and bustle of the last few days. “Consider it a birthday/late wedding gift.”

“You shouldn’t have gotten me anything,” You said, taking the gift. “I completely forgot about it.”

“I didn’t,” She said. “You’re my best friend.”

You were instructed to sit outside with Andrea as you were served sweet tea and lemonade.

“Where’s Nancy?”

“Maybe she didn’t want to be on film.”

They wanted footage of you around Graceland doing everyday things. They wanted insight into what your everyday life was like here—married to the king. Expect, he wasn’t here, and you were being forced to smile in his absence.

“Just pretend they aren’t there,” Andrea said in a grumble. She wasn’t too keen on being photographed but she set herself aside to avoid you looking like a lunatic having lemonade alone.

“What do they want from me?”

“Maybe we should start dancing.”

You laughed.

After the photographers left, you retreated back into the bedroom to continue to wait by the phone. Andrea griped about going out—to which you reminded her that you’d be attacked or worse if you dared to venture out.

“There has to be some way to get out and get a decent drink,” She argued. “Serena can’t call anyone?”

“I don’t want to worry her.”

“What’s his name that follows you around everywhere?”

“Ray.”

“Tell Ray to get a car and call the bar to tell them you’re coming.”

You shook your head. “I’m not supposed to go out without Elvis.”

She scoffed. “He’s probably out having the time of his life.”

“I doubt it. We can drink downstairs.”

“What is this, a five star resort?”

You smiled wearily. You didn’t want to go out anyway. The phone rang, startling you delightfully. You glanced at Andrea, who understood immediately.

“I’m going.” She stood to leave. “Tell him I said hi.”

“I’m really going to.” You laughed as she left, bringing the phone to your ear. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me.”

“…Joel?” Your eyes widened in shock.

“Hey,” He chuckled in a tone so casual it made you ill.

“Hi.” You sounded reserved as a result of your shock.

“I-I figured I’d get you here,” He said. “I’m sorry to call out of nowhere like this I just…I saw the news.”

You deflated, eyes closed. With everything else happening you hadn’t even taken a moment to consider how Joel would feel. You felt immensely guilty that he had heard the news of everything from the media and not directly from you.

“God, Joel, I’m so sorry.” You suppressed the urge to cry. “I should‘ve called~”

“It’s fine.”

“It…it all happened so fast.”

He hesitated for a moment. “Yeah, it did.”

“I’m not just saying that, I swear,” You said. “I didn’t even know it was happening. None of us did…”

“That’s kind of what the guys were saying.”

“Do you still talk with them?”

“Yeah, we’re like family, so…”

You nodded. The circles you were tracing into your knee began to blur with tears as you spoke. “How’s New York?”

He hummed indifferently. “It’s quiet in some places.”

“Well, yeah.”

“Who knew?”

You laughed, trying not to alert him to the fact that you were crying. “Are you happy?”

“I’m figuring it out.”

“That’s good.”

“Are you?”

“Hm?”

“Are you happy?”

“I am.”

For some reason, you felt like you were telling a lie. You were happy. There had been moments in the past few weeks that you felt you couldn’t possibly be happier. But there was a part of you that clung to whatever heartache you had left. Perhaps you wanted to punish yourself with it or use it as a reminder that you weren’t completely heartless.

Joel was silent on the other line but you hadn’t noticed until he spoke again. “I’m glad. Congratulations.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. That’s not why I called.”

“Why did you call?”

He seemed to hesitate before saying—

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Oh…well, thank you.”

“I wanted to say also…” He started. “A-And I don’t want you to think I’m tryin to talk you out of your decision or anything, it's just…it’s a lot happening all at once. It’d be a lot for anyone. So…don’t feel obligated to be something you aren’t because you love a person.”

“…Thank you for saying that.”

“…Anyway, I better let you off of here,” He said, laughing shortly. “I’ll see you in the paper I guess.”

“Yeah.” You cleared your throat. “Don’t have too much fun in New York.”

“I’ll try my best. Take care.”

“You too.”

“O-Oh and, uh, happy birthday.”

You closed your eyes, smiling softly. “Thank you, Joel.”

“Bye now,” He chuckled.

“Bye,” You said, waiting to hear the line go dead before hanging up.

You sat there for a moment, standing abruptly in search of the scrap of paper you used to write down the number of where Elvis was staying. Whoever answered gave you the run around for a while before actually putting you through.

“Who are you again?”

“His wife.”

He answered with an overly delicate tone—one that told you that his failure to touch base hadn’t gone unnoticed even by himself.

“Hey, everything alright?”

“Where are you?”

“I’m~ What do you mean where am I, honey? I’m working.”

You sat down on the edge of the bed. “It’s been a week since I’ve seen or heard from you.”

“Has it?”

“It has.”

“It’s Tuesday already?”

“It’s Friday.”

He tried to dismiss the argument. “You know how time slips away.”

You hummed, agitated. “Yeah, it does that when I don’t hear from you for weeks too.”

“Birdie,” He chided. “Are you checkin up on me?”

“No.” He laughed on the other line. “It’s not funny. When were you gonna call? Next month? Never? I mean, it’s my birthday today. Did you know that?”

“Did I know that?” He asked. “Of course I knew that.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not just kicked back havin a goddamn party, honey, I have shit to do while I’m here~”

“I’m not debating that, E, I just thought you’d call.”

“I was going to.”

“Were you?”

“I’m so glad to hear your voice. It’s like music to my ears.”

“Elvis~”

“I’m sorry you couldn’t stay up here with us, I don’t think it was really a part of the plan before the wedding and everything.”

“It’s fine~”

“Next time I’m gonna bring you with me, show you what Hollywood is like. What do you think?”

“That’d be nice.”

He promised that he would make it happen. You didn’t care if you were together in Memphis or LA, you only wanted to be near him.

“How d’you like Serena and Ray?” He asked.

“I feel bad for them.” You smiled when he laughed. “I don’t see what they’re here for. I don’t go anywhere or do anything.”

“They’re there to make sure you’re taken care of, that’s all. To protect you.”

“I wouldn’t need them to protect me if you were here.”

“I know, baby. What do you want me to do?”

There was nothing he could do. He could stay on the phone and talk to you for a couple of hours but it wouldn’t do any good.

“Birdie?”

“Joel called me a minute ago.”

You weren’t trying to evoke any specific reaction, but looking back now, telling Elvis about the call seemed like nothing more than a desperate grab for attention. He didn’t sound like he felt any particular way about it when he responded.

“Did he?”

“Yes,” You said, guilelessly.

“What’d he say?” There was a slight uptake to the end of his sentence—was he irritated with you?

“Nothing really, just congratulations and everything.”

“‘Congratulations?’”

He didn’t sound convinced.

“He said he wanted to make sure I was okay.”

“Well, I’m sure you thought that was nice and everything, honey, but he doesn’t need to concern himself with your well-being.”

“Elvis,” You said admonishingly. “He’s an old friend.”

“Old friend my ass.” He laughed shortly. “Don’t play with me.”

“I’m not. It was a harmless call.”

“So harmless you’re running to tell me?”

“‘Running to tell?’ Please.”

“I don’t care if you talk to him, I just think he should speak to me first.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re my wife. I don’t want him getting any ideas about worming his way back in.”

You laughed, mostly at the thought of Joel ‘worming his way’ back into your life. You loved him—he loved you too, undeniably. However, you’d gone past a certain point with him and there was no going back. The spell was broken and any magic you once had with him was gone.

“I don’t think he’ll call again,” You said. “I’m telling you as a courtesy.”

“Well, I appreciate it.” He shifted on the other line with a sigh. “I’m gonna have to get offa here, baby. They need me.”

I need you, you thought. “Okay.”

“I’m gonna see about getting you and Andrea out here for the last week or so,” He said. “I’ll tell Parker it’s for the press.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. That way I can keep an eye on you.”

You didn’t realize that that would be the last time the two of you would be apart for more than forty-eight hours.

You seldom parted. You were either by his side or within his vicinity. Eventually it became the new normal for you to always be together. It was uncomfortable at first, being around the guys.

You had a feeling they hated you.

*

“What?”

“Where is she?”

“Getting dressed.”

You rushed out of the bathroom—fully dressed for the day—to meet Andrea at the bedroom door. Elvis was off from filming again for a few months and your days had been filled with only each other. Andrea was there, sent by the other guys to get you away so that they could have him.

“They want you downstairs,” She said to Elvis—arms crossed and lips slightly pursed.

“Tell them I’m busy.”

“What am I, your messenger?”

“Are you theirs?”

“Yeah, in exchange for some human decency.”

You stopped them before they kept going. “We were headed downstairs anyway. Right, baby?”

He put his arm around you. “That’s right, baby.”

“I actually need to talk to you about something,” Andrea said to you. “It can’t wait. It’s too important.”

You stepped towards her—concerned. “Is everything alright?”

“Birdie,” Elvis said expectantly, waiting for you to come with him.

“We’re only gonna be a second,” You said with an apologetic expression as you ushered Andrea into the room. “I left something in the bathroom anyway.”

“Straight down when you’re done,” He said, leaning in to kiss your cheek. You smiled and he left.

“What’s wrong, Drea?”

“Nothing, I just said that so he’d go away.”

“Why?”

“Because you’ve been inseparable and we’re all suffering because of it.”

You laughed. “Suffering how?”

“Do you realize that I don’t know a single person in this house apart from you?” She sat down on the edge of the bed. “Ray and Serena aren’t even around to talk to these days.”

“I don’t really know them either,” You said, going to the bathroom. “I haven’t even spoken to some of them.”

“It’s not the same. You’re with Elvis.” She met you at the bathroom door, watching as you opened the pill bottle that you’d gotten off the counter. “Again?”

“They help me relax,” You said. “Do you want one? They’re harmless.”

“No.” She continued watching you.

“I’m sorry I haven’t made time for you lately,” You said. “It’s so hard. Nothing exists when we’re together.”

“You poor things.”

“We should head down now.”

Andrea insisted that the two of you go for a round of cards in the sitting room or a walk outside. You agreed for a change—mostly because you felt guilty for not spending time with her.

You had managed to get away that afternoon and you decided to make it up to her. You spent the day relaxing and catching up on some self care. It was a welcomed break that you didn’t know you needed. You had gotten so caught up with her that night had fallen before you realized how late it was.

“It’s the same thing every time,” Andrea complained as you laid in her bed watching television—a fresh coat of polish adorning your nails. “Why do they even bother?”

“You really expect them to get off the island every episode?”

“Isn’t that the point?”

There was a knock at the door that cut your rebuttal short. You looked at Andrea who shrugged and stood carefully to answer it.

“What, Red?” She asked when she saw who it was, a twinge of annoyance lying under her tone.

“He wants the girl,” Red said in a similar tone, obviously forced to fetch you.

You stood to put your clothes back on—Andrea had given you something more comfortable to wear earlier.

“Is that a question or what?”

“Can you send her upstairs?”

“Please?”

“Please.”

“First of all, Red, the girl has a name, and second she’s not here.”

You stopped shuffling around the room to listen.

“What do you mean she ain’t here?”

“I mean she’s not here.”

“She’s supposed to be.”

“Well, she isn’t.”

Red sighed—you pictured him contemplating his next move. “So, what am I supposed to tell ‘im?”

Andrea laughed. “Hell if I know or care.”

“Where the hell is she, Andrea?”

“I don’t know. I’m not her keeper.”

They stood there for a moment, Andrea reveling silently. Red eventually left, mumbling under his breath about going to find you. She shut the door and faced you.

“You should’ve seen the look on his face,” She said through her laughter as she walked back over to her bed. “He’s scared shitless.”

“You shouldn’t play games like that,” You said, laughing despite yourself. “He’s going to want to know where I am.”

“I know, but let’s give him time to squirm at least,” She said, gesturing for you to sit back down. “Come on, humor me a little. This is the most fun I’ve had in weeks.”

You hesitated—you knew you had a choice whether to stay or go, you just didn’t know which outcome you’d rather face. You could stay, but you’d hardly enjoy yourself knowing Elvis would be worried. He’d think you were missing or that you ran off when Red tells him that he couldn’t find you. But leaving meant ruining the night for Andrea, and you were supposed to be making up for abandoning her.

She spoke again. “You can call and tell him you’re with me if it’ll make you feel better. Or you can go, really. It’s just a stupid joke.”

You shook your head, forcing a short laugh as you spoke. “N-No. You’re right.”

“About what?”

“I-I don’t know…you’re always right.”

You laughed nervously and rejoined her on the bed. The phone rang—you both knew who it was.

“Don’t answer it,” You said before she could. “It’s fine.”

The silence between the two of you as the phone rang out was tense, and uncomfortable—at least it was for you. Eventually it stopped ringing and all that remained was the sound of the television.

“Do you think they’ll make it out this time?”

“I sure hope so.”

[like-likes]

This is just a ramble

I've been so busy. Every day I wake up, drive 40 minutes to my future home which used to be my father's farm house originally built in the 1700's - my husband and I recently decided to inherit this property. As a first project, I've been working on my one of my son's rooms (this kid get's his own living room and bedroom) so he can move in.

The room I've been working on has been a nightmare of old wallpaper and horsehair plaster to smooth out and fix up in order to paint. A celling full of cracks that I've taped over with joint compound... Who knows when this room was really last updated - 50, 60 years? more? There are very cool and unique looking old wood floors I've had to fill in the gaps in between and prep for paint too - the floors were originally painted long ago before my father moved in - I just didn't want to deal with sanding and staining them myself, so I opted to lightly sand and prime them instead to be re-painted once more.

My son wants some kind of dark gothic Victorian feel to this room -and I am so happy to play with this concept! I've been priming out the walls, trim and floors with GREY Killz primer, this is after a few rounds of using up my own personal leftover "oops" paint through the process to help myself see all the imperfections in the walls better to mud and smooth out all the existing horse hair plaster. Horse hair plaster is a bitch to smooth out. Ultimate challenge for any professional (Which I am not, just doing my best).

I had to give up on painting the ceiling because bits of the ceiling layers were coming off into the paint roller, which would've resulted in myself having to re-mud and re-paint for fucking years for all I know (I'd never get it done). We're going with tiling the ceiling with some very cool products I found via Amazon while searching for ceiling ideas. I can totally get away with these vintage looking options in an old farmhouse for sure and will really tie into this "gothic victorian" look my son is going for.

Well, that's it for now -

This blog is just a placeholder for now. I just wanted to blah blah blah my thoughts and add pictures later and then I will re-blog. I have many progress pictures on my phone yet I'm on my computer at the moment and I'm not that focused - I'm lazy right now but I've been working hard every day!

[b1adie]

unironically i started playing honkai seventeen days ago just for aventurine and I think I'm physically ill for this man. like gahhhh hes so silly. i have nearly 80 pulls thjat ive spent literally all my time grinding for, and I'm at 60 pity and I will literally kill someone if I lose the 50/50 .90% of gamblers quit before they hit jackpot and similarly 90% of Honkai Star Rail players quit before they win their 50/50. 90% of Honkai Star Rail players quit before they get E6 Aventurine. I need him so bad. Like I wouldn't be mad if I lost the 50/50 to like, Clara or something because I already have her from standard banner and I love her a lot, but if it were to literally anyone else I'd just start mauling people yk. I don't even know what that one kid's name is but he has blonde hair and swords and he's from the Xianzhou Luofu (not that far in the plotline, havent met him yet) but if I lose my 50/50 to that kid I might just die.

Listen I'm not his number one fan, I wouldn't daer to insinuate that I even am, I don't even want to like, fight people for that title. I just really like him and I wanted to thank you for all the Aventurine content that you've been churning out. I'm not sending this on main because I don't want to be clowned on but yeah this is. Really Unhinged. Sorry.

Also I like Dr. Ratio more honestly. I like them both equally but Aventurine isn't out yet so the only thing I'm staring at is Ratio. I have to run around as Clara (not a bad thing, I really like her!! She activates my parental instincts) because if I play as Ratio I will just stop doing whatever I'm doing and stare at him. It's been ruining my productivity.

listen to me. that blonde luofu kid has made me lose 4 times. if i see his ass a 5th time later today i’m going to start tearing the doors off people’s houses.

i didnt even realize how much aventurine stuff i was making until another ask mentioned it and i checked his tag and like half of the top posts were ALL MINE 😭 sneaky little blonde son of a bitch snuck up and took over my brain while i wasn’t paying attention. i have literally been having dreams about him. just 7 more hours now

i was actually messing with my ratio build earlier. he does ok i guess but he could be better… but i do have to admit i saw his design revealed like a year ago on reddit and i was like Oh my god?? like alright. slay i guess. and now i tell anyone who will listen that he’s a worm. what a weird guy… though i am a fan of his rubber ducky collection.

clara is who i got on the starter banner too ^_^ i wanna work on building her some more but im trying to build. every single character ever so its taking me a while to get back to her T_T

[dossantosspirit]

Top 100 of 2012 [REMASTERED] 10 years ago I did my first end of the year selection and it was a top 50. By that time I started to discover more music and so, I’ve decided to select the best 50 from that year (a thing I still do until today). This year, to celebrate the decade achievement, I did a remaster to my first top ever I turned it into a top 100. Enjoy! 100. Matt and Kim – Let’s Go 99. The Killers – Runaways 98. Wake Owl – Gold 97. Funeral Suits – All Those Friendly People 96. Wiz Khalifa – Work Hard Play Hard 95. Dan Croll – From Nowhere 94. Muse – Madness 93. Bastille – Flaws 92. Big Sean – Guap 91. Angus Stone – Monster 90. Purity Ring – Fineshrine 89. Chief Keef – I Don’t Like (ft. Lil Reese) 88. The Vaccines – Teenage Icon 87. Perfume Genius – Hood 86. The Ting Tings – Day To Day 85. Bloc Party – Octupus 84. A$AP Ferg – Work 83. Linkin Park – Lost In The Echo 82. The Shins – Simple Song 81. Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros – Man On Fire 80. Katy Perry – Wide Awake 79. Future – Turn On The Lights 78. Kacey Musgraves – Merry Go Round 77. Kid Cudi – Just What I Am (ft. King Chip) 76. Mumford and Sons – I Will Wait 75. Carly Rae Jepsen – Call Me Maybe 74. Twin Shadow – Five Seconds 73. Frank Ocean – Pyramids 72. D.I.D. – Teenage Daughter 71. DIIV – Doused 70. Father John Misty – Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings 69. A$AP Rocky – Fuckin’ Problems (ft. 2 Chainz, Drake & Kendrick Lamar) 68. Kodaline – All I Want 67. Kid Ink – Hell & Back 66. Matisyahu – Sunshine 65. Alabama Shakes – Hold On 64. Icona Pop – I Love It (ft. Charli XCX) 63. Todd Terje – Inspector Norse 62. Kendrick Lamar – Money Trees 61. Chairlift – I Belong In Your Arms 60. Tame Impala – Elephant 59. Paloma Faith – Picking Up The Pieces 58. XXYYXX – About You 57. Death Grips – I’ve Seen Footage 56. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis – Same Love (ft. Mary Lambert) 55. Alt-J – Taro 54. The Lumineers – Ho Hey 53. Cat Power – Ruin 52. Crystal Castles – Affection 51. Imagine Dragons – It’s Time 50. Taylor Swift – We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together 49. Woddkid - Run Boy Run 48. Sharon Van Eten – Serpents 47. Of Monsters and Men – Little Talks 46. Haim – Forever 45. Jai Paul – Jasmine 44. The Temper Trap – Trembling Hands 43. Panama – It’s Not Over 42. Grimes – Oblivion 41. Flume – Sleepless (ft. Jezzabell Doran) 40. Mac Demarco – Ode To Viceroy 39. Japandroids – The House That Heaven Built 38. Miike Snow – Paddling Out 37. First Aid Kit – Emmylou 36. Jack White – Sixteen Saltines 35. Hot Chip – Flutes 34. Two Door Cinema Club – Sun 33. Mac Miller – Clarity 32. Django Django – Default 31. Passion Pit – I’ll Be Alright 30. Miguel – Adorn 29. THGHT – Higher Ground 28. Grizzly Bear – Yet Again 27. Solange – Losing You 26. G.O.O.D. Music – Mercy 25. Sleigh Bells – Comeback Kid 24. AlunaGeorge – I Know You Like It 23. Kendrick Lamar – Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe 22. Rhye – The Fall 21. M.I.A. – Bad Girls 20. Disclosure – Latch (ft. Sam Smith) 19. Usher – Climax 18. The XX – Angels 17. Arctic Monkeys – R U Mine? 16. Danny Brown – Grown Up 15. Lana Del Rey – National Anthem 14. Tame Impala – Feels Like We Only Go Backwards 13. Bat For Lashes – Laura 12. Santigold – Disparate Youth 11. Sky Ferreira – Everything Is Embarrassing 10. Beach House – Myth 9. A$AP Rocky – Goldie 8. Alt-J – Breezeblocks 7. Fiona Apple – Every Single Night 6. Jessie Ware – Wildest Moments 5. CHVRCHES – The Mother We Share 4. Passion Pit – Take A Walk 3. Kendrick Lamar – Swimming Pools (Drank) 2. Grimes - Genesis 1. Frank Ocean - Thinkin Bout You

>>> Playlist on Spotify <<<

[screechthemighty]

Okay, going to start posting the Best Of for my Trigun/TriMax notes by volume. Note that this was my second time reading Trigun and all reactions are off-the-cuff; any hindsight-based commentary will be in italics. Also, there may be CWs I missed, but I did try to note things as I went.

Trigun Notes: Volume One

Trigun #1.1: The $$60 Billion Double Dollar Man

Injuries 603, murders 72, oof.

“This week’s satellite” like radio reports as a primary news method?

Screaming at the fact that he knew they didn’t have bullets and basically dared them to shoot him.

Trigun #1.2: Looney Tunes

Meryl: talking loud enough will give me authority, right

“More than 50 of our plants have died” due to a system bug…LOT of plants [Note: I do still wonder if they meant individual plants, because they seem a lot rarer in later adaptations. Then again, this is only the second chapter, so it might just be a continuity issue?]

Trigun #1.3: Hard Puncher

Stop backseat dueling y‘all, he knows what he’s doing

This man can do full splits after 100+ years, damn lmao

“Officially designated a localized disaster” is the FUNNIEST resolution and IDK why the ‘98 anime didn’t keep that

“Very nice to meet you” “Likewise, I think” LOL

Trigun #1.4: Popo

Mild CW for this chapter, but one character lies about having been sexually abused.

“How long do you intend to follow me?” “Until we retire, probably” “Okay, perfect *runs*"

“That was more than I deserved, maybe” Lot to unpack there, buddy!

Trigun #1.5: Assault

“They sure are good (especially that big one)” Milly supremacy

“You’re like those people from the big fall over 100 years ago. A nice person” So kindness is seen as a legit rarity here

Brilliant Dynamites Neon sure is a gang leader name

Trigun #1.6: Die Hards

Meryl + Milly coming out of the dark to beat up some dudes = SO ominous lmao

“I’m gonna need all the empty spots in my soupy brain” Oh, mood.

Vash using tough love on Kite = always hilarious

Trigun #1.7: Rem

Vash smiling sheepishly after he beats a guy in a fight…angel man…

“You’re far too easy on the whole human race” Kite citing everyone’s sins and Vash responding with “Then start all over again. [...] Your ticket to the future is always blank.” AHHHHH

“He’s got a helluva arm and the devil’s luck.” Just gunslinger things.

Trigun #1.8: Duelist

No bodies found at July, even with the city leveled; Vash doesn’t remember anything but the aftermath. [Note: At the time I thought this was the same thing as how in the '98 anime there weren't any casualties but...nope............TriMax made it worse.]

Trigun #1.9: Between the Wasteland and Sky…

Meryl: eff it, retail therapy

“Do your nerves even work?” Yes, but his baseline pain levels are a 4, so…

“You’re glorious, sister” right when he called her a brat earlier, lmao

Heart/breathing DO synchronize, because his vitals stop when hers do–wings not visible between panels, maybe representative of the Plant recognizing Vash as a sibling? [Note: could be reading that wrong, though]

“Maybe this is what it means for people to go on living. This must be what she believed, why she traded her life for everyone else’s!” So he’s still struggling with that as a concept, oof.

Trigun #1.11: Son

“People do say that strangers’ faces all cook the same” Oh, Milly

People: betray their families Milly: Chooses violence

Father makes the point that Morgan only wants the land to have it but won’t cultivate or respect it; Badwick more worried about his parents’ safety [Note: Honestly you could easily read an environmental theme into parts of Trigun with very little effort.]

“Guns are our second-to-last resort” Ma’am what is your last resort???

Trigun #1.12: River of Life

“This is not the time to come apart like this. Fight, Meryl!” My girl!!!

“What are you gonna do with a derringer and a stun gun?” “Would you care to find out?” YES, BITCH

Meryl’s “?????” at her gun = classic

Theme of trusting others even if you don’t understand or agree with their path, believing in others in a family setting–ohh, hurts a bit in light of Wolfwood and Knives!!!

[natdoespolls]

Idk if I’m late to this but i’ve got some lesser-known dndads quotes if I’m not (sorry this is very long lol):

Darryl:

Glenn doesn’t care that his kid smokes weed, but at least he would have killed Hitler (season 1 episode 44)

I just really wanted to eat some bread, and they’re not going to give us bread if we tell them that their son died (season 1 episode 63)

Henry:

I SILENCE HIS DUMBASS WITH A KISS (season 1 episode 1)

Darryl, what do your dilf eyes see? (season 1 episode 14)

Let’s table the soccer versus football versus vaping conversation (season 1 episode 18)

You always start at the asshole of the tuna can (season 1 episode 19)

What the frickin’ ding dang gosh dark dilly willy heckin’ shark tooth banana chicanery hootin’ tootin’ raspberry frickin FUCK are you two doing here?? (season 1 episode 41)

Why is everyone getting hotter but ME?? (season 1 episode 54)

Ron:

Grant, buddy, I’m going to give you some advice. It’s something Glenn and I were talking about when we were in the toilet (season 1, episode 18)

Glenn:

I’ll die happy, baby. I’ll see my son in Hell, BITCH (season 1, episode 60)

Tell Darryl: Good news! I died and I went to Hell! (season 1, episode 68 pt 1)

Season 1 NPCS:

I have seen your futures. And they are very, very stupid. —Bill Close (season 1 episode 6)

I don’t need to love myself because I. Love. ANIME!! —Well Actually (season 1 episode 55)

I think this concert’s going to be full of FOMO. It’s going to be full of: Fire, Opportunity, Murder… Other thing —Scam Actually (season 1 episode 63)

Carrots are fucking dope —Erin O’Neil (season 1 episode 33)

I’m babysitting the weird knife boy?—Nicolas (Foster) (season 1 episode 55)

I fuckin’ beat ass, this kid (gesturing to Nicolas) sucks —Paeden (season 1 episode 50)

Link:

Let’s just take a break here for a moment. Fuck the car, are you saying you could turn any one of us into spider-man at any moment?? (season 2 episode 15)

She’s not supposed yo be IN THERE!! (season 2 episode 30)

ATMOD:

This is why I don’t have tuberculosis —Stud (chapter 3)

Sir, I’ll let you know I’m not just a train virgin —Robert (chapter 2)

Also some Anthony quotes because there are so many good ones:

You wouldn’t want to tap dance threateningly in this situation (atmod chapter 3)

There is no way on god’s green earth I am going to describe your dick sizes (season 1 episode 4)

Flesh is subjective (season 1 episode 21)

Henry’s body reacts the way that anybody’s would when being licked by a stranger, which is to say, not significantly (season 1 episode 57)

You can know about my ass, you can’t know about my heart (season 1 episode 60)

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a bad ass is a good guy with a good ass (season 1 episode 65)

And then you get a room together, and you don’t train, you just fuck (season 1 episode 65)

Again sorry this is super long but I had a bunch of these saved and I wanted to send some in

These are some deep cuts, I love it!!! I had forgotten about some of these moments. They’ve all been added :)

[flyingcookierambles]

Good news!

Last night I finished endwalker on my birthday, it only took playing from midnight to 4 am lol

Bad news I forgot to log into genshin and I didn't get my birthday cake :/

Lmao

Anyways I love zenos k onwards to the endwalker patch msq and dawntrail yay yippeee!!!

Nov 17th edit: some 7.0 screenshots of my WoL, Cyril, with the great glow up graphic update. au ra enjoyers, elezen enjoyers, we WON!!! YIPEEEEEEEE!!!

also a small comparison of no reshade and reshade also. my color saturation is turned up and the bloom is a bit warm, i love the color. he looks so soft. like, sorry, but even with the wonderful 7.0 looks, the base game is so washed out still. like, maybe i'm used to the photo-realistic and saturated landscape of for example, horizon zero dawn, god of war 2018, also more anime/cartoon-y saturated colorful landscapes of genshin, but ffxiv base game is so faded out to me.

also, although im still a bit miffed at myself for taking literally two years and 6 months to finish endwalker, enough time for the latest expac to come out, at the same time, i'm glad i waited for the 7.0 graphics. ultima thule is amazing! the skybox is amazing! also, the elezen glow up helped the scions a lot, urianger and g'raha look so soft and cute. the twins also have cute cheeks that i want to pinch lol. truly the wol's little brother and sister lol. the elf/elezen ears textsures and the light also going thru the skin a bit helped soften them. just. 7.0 was so good lol.

i will say though, idk what it is about my bloom and keepUI settings. like, maybe i just haven't really set up keepUI/mask UI reshade filters very well, but sometimes in night scenes, also ugh most of the ultima thule area except the omnicron area, the brightness of the dialogue box in cutscenes will make the rest of the screen kinda darken to compensate the bloom effect or soemthing. a bit frustrating tbh.

but anyways beautiful 7.0 crystal mother above!!!! i loved her. QAQ......

the bloom and 7.0 eye updates really helped her eyes pop out and glow.

oh, also i kinda wanna steal pint's reshade settings. i think his settings is technically public, but you have to join his discord?

but also, now that i've caught up, i can see some streamer's reactions and VODs to the end of endwalker. since many of them didn't delay like i did, i see the old graphics and i'm like. oh god. OH GOD, THEY LOOKED LIKE THAT????? (weird default shaders, angular elezen, etc., lol) crazy how you can just get used to the new stuff in such a short amount of time, seeing the stuff i was used to for like 2-3 years, it's really like that dang bitch you live like this meme. lol

oh yeah, here's a screenshot from july when dawntrail first released. truly the fate farming craze!!! incredible.

also, me, two of my friends, and one friend's younger sister all partied together to complete the coils of bahamat. we unsynced to carry my friend who is still in ARR/level 50-60 ranges. like literally just zooming thru the combat as 3 lvl 90 players and our baby level 50 friend to get to the dialogue and cutscenes lol.

oh yeah rip huiton. BUT ALSO THE ULTIMA THULE SKYBOX AND STARS OOOOOOOGH THAT IS BEAUTIFUL!!!

also, nastrond. also spineshatter dive. also eye of the dragon buddy system. just. oof. i know i' not a very high level dragoon, i think only mid 70, so i didn't even get to all the fun full rotation level 80-90 stuff, but god dang. bruh moment. sorry for your loss, other dragoon mains and enjoyers.

(note, i am an healer main, astro enjoyer, and i also loved plunge for dark knight. i get it uuuuuu QAQ....)

also! bloom vs no bloom.

OK, NGL, THIS WAS A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL, RIGHT ISHIKAWA???????? YOU LOVE YOUR CATBOY SON OC. YOU MAKE US LOVE YOUR CATBOY SON OC. I GET IT, HE'S THE SPECIALEST BOY EVER. UGHREAUGHEOGAHOUH. I LITERALLY WAS WATCHING THIS PART OF THE CUTSCENE A BIG DOPEY GRIN ON MY FACE, SQUEALING UNCONTROLLABLY. AND LIKE ALL THE STREAMERS I WATCHED VODS OF ALSO WERE JUST LIKE AWWWW. G'RAHA.... :D

oh also some gpose with the kiddos during Forge Ahead companion MSQ walking up the path Raha made for us. also ngl, it was so so funny to me whenever i got "this NPC is now following you" quests lol. like, SE was really like. LOOK! LOOK AT OUR LATEST ESCORT QUEST TECHNOLOGY! lol

so my reaper was lvl 89, not enough for the final lvl 90 msq lol. so, as i always planned anyways, i switched to white mage for the final msq. like, my first class and job were conjurer/white mage, so it only felt appropriate to end with that job.

So, i'll be honest also. i knew some plot points of endwalker. on social media and such, it's kinda inevitable to see spoilers, especially when everyone is literally 2 years ahead of you. however, i did not know the full context or the order in which some snippets and events would happen. also, the only two things i really kept for myself was listening to flow and close in the distance. like, i succeeded in skipping them or tabbing out and stuff whenever i heard the first few notes. so, hearing both for the first time was great. close in the distance playing in the background and slowly revealing itself and more instruments as the msq and scions' sacrifices went on was beautiful. using the instrumental for the dead ends dungeon was good too. i also loved seeing the alien worlds in the dead ends. of course, im sure that it may lose its magic when i have to play it like a thousand times to get my starbird minion.

also ZENOS MY ENEMY, MY FRIEND!!! :D

so also if you got me at 3am in jenova/ EST time, i am so so sorry lmao. i died like 6 times to the stupid planet throwing and somehow got 1 commendation. i'm sure it was a pity commendation lmao. QAQ i've never been so embarrassed in my life i stg!!!

OOPS ONLY 30 IMAGES ALLOWED PER POST LMAO OK, PART 2 INCOMING. THERE'S ONLY A TINY BIT OF MSQ LEFT BUT I KINDA HAD A GPOSE PHOTOSHOOT WITH MY BESTIE/WORSTIE/HUSBAND ZENOS AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE BEFORE WE BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER LOL

[cachantun]

not to be mean or anything but some of you kind of blackout at the sight of the word 'old' because why are just regular adult men in the old men yaoi tag and i mean like not a single white hair in sight, not even the spirit of wrinkles, I've seen the smoothest of the men in this tag and i can assure you that is not an old man with a good plastic surgery or great botox application do you honestly think 35-50 is geriatric age? i think you need to get your shit together and show me 60+ gay men in this tag or i will start doing really annoying shit in the tags you love so much that's right im going right into that stupid hazbin motel or whatever tag and drawing the most heterosexual fat and rounded teeth renditions of your favorite little freaks and tagging their name and spamming my little drawing so you know how it feels to grace upon malignant horror while searching for beauty i will go and make your skinny little anime genshin impact twink the fattest hairest baldest son of a bitch known to man you will be so freaked out because this is what you get when you get so much internet brainrot you want to clean the world of its natural beauty this is what you get for buying into such strict beauty standards pushed by capitalism that you cannot conceive beauty outside those foreign adopted limitations without your idiot coward brain trying to shut itself off you facetune ass gazed bitch!

[the-broken-truth]

Can I request RE8 women (Lady D 、Donna...etc,you can pick who you want to write!)be protected by a human who wear full Knight's armor,use sword and sheild to fight,and they think that knight is a man.

But one day, that knight take off the helmet,and they are wrong,the knight is a woman.👩 ⚔

Sorry if I misspelled something, English is not my first language.

Broken Truth (Sharpening my sword): Hm, Dimitrescu or Donna... Dimitrescu or Donna... Hm... Why not both? Let the words weave together!

[Mother Miranda's Chapel - During A Lord Meeting]

"Thus, it would be better if you all were to... Alcina!" The Raven Winged Woman yelled out all of a sudden, causing the regal woman to jolt in her seat and almost drop her cigarette.

"Huh?! What?! Yes, Mother Miranda?" She asked as she looked at the woman in the golden mask.

"In case you forgot where you are - we are in the middle of a meeting and you are allowing your mind to wander instead of remaining focused. Care to explain why you are so distracted?" Miranda asked as she folded her arms with a glare under her mask.

"Please, forgive me, Mother Miranda - I was still...trying to analyze something that happened yesterday. You see - a few of the village's man-things decided to attack my castle." Alcina began.

"What's new about that? You report an attack on your castle once every two to three weeks; what makes this one so different that it's distracting you from the meeting?" Miranda asked.

"Well, Mother Miranda - It wasn't the event itself but the person who came out of nowhere and slaughtered all of the opposers." Alcina said with a slight blush on her face.

"Person? What person?" Miranda asked.

"Well... A Knight."

[Flashback - The Day Before - Attack On Castle Dimitrescu]

Once again - the reckless males of the village gathered again to attack the residents of the grand castle that overshadowed their home, but there were more of them than last time. The full moon shined over the castle, lighting the area around the - there were at least 50 or 60 humans there; armed with farming equipment or small handguns. Alcina and her Daughters were standing before the grand door of their castle - claws and sickles ready - the first man who held a pitchfork made a dash for the eldest daughter but before he could even get close to her, the silhouette of a caped figure shrouded the light of the moon before the figure came crashing down in the middle; acting as a bridge between The Dimitrescus and the Opposers.

The figure rose to their feet and the light of the moon made their features known to all. They were tall - at least 7 feet tall - dressed in a black metal armor that bore wolves on the shoulders and in the chest plate, the eyes of the wolves had rubies for eyes; even the helmet was in the likeness of a wolf and the back of the legs had a tail made of fur - was it real or did the wearer hunt down a beast and take its tail as a trophy. By their side, the pommel of the sword shined in the moonlight and even that was a wolf.

"Who the hell are you?!" The man said.

"Silence, you waste of flesh and blood." A deep voice came from the helmet, making the man flinch - a male was in that suit? That would explain the height. "You dare rally drunken minds to harm your masters? You have no honor and thus no worth, therefore..." His hand came over his side and wrapped around the handle of the sword before slowly pulling it out of its case, "You have no lost your privilege of life for even having the thought of harming House Dimitrescu!" He howled as he darted at the crowd of men with the speed of a beast on the hunt.

With a single swing of his sword - the first 10 men were killed. Alcina and her daughters watched in awe as this armored man slaughtered men who harm on the Dimitrescu Family. With another slash of the massive blade, 8 more were killed. He kept at it until the last man - the one who poisoned all the others to fight a losing battle; he was shivering and dropped his weapon as the tall man walked over to him, his armor and sword dripping with the blood of his lackeys.

"You are the orchestrator of this madness - the one who weaved chaos and delusion into the hearts and minds of these men." He growled as he raised the bloody blade over his head. "It is your fault that wives have become widows, children grow without parental guidance, and fathers...bury their sons; let that weigh on your mind...as you face your creator for judgment." The sword came crashing down upon the man - slicing him right down the middle.

"That...THAT WAS AWESOME!!" The excited cry of the youngest Dimitrescu Daughter as she buzzed over to the knight and began asking him questions: Where did he come from? Where he learned to fight like that? Where he got his sword and armor? If he could teach her how to fight? The Armored Man just stared at her.

"Daniela, that's enough." Alcina said as she cleared her throat and walked over to her daughter and savior, "I thank you for your but assistance but my daughters and I could have handled them." Alcina said.

"A Lady of your stature doesn't need to sully herself with dirt - it's not worth your time or the time of your daughters. Your time is precious and should be wasted with trivial matters such as this." He said before turning on his heel and jumped so high that he was once again cast in the moon's shadow before he fell in the forest somewhere, leaving the daughters and Lady of the castle just standing there...with a light blush on the lady's face.

[End of Flashback]

"HA HA HA HA HA! Lady Super-Sized Bitch has a crush! Oh, this is so rich!" Heisenberg laughed to the point he almost fell out of his seat.

"Silence, you stupid man-thing! You're just mad that he is more of a man than you will ever be!" Alcina roared at her brother who was going to shout back when...

"Hold on, ya talking that a tall dude - black armor with wolves all over it?" Angie asked from Donna's Lap; Alcina looked at her confused.

"Yes, that's my knight." She said.

The doll burst out laughing.

"Your Knight?! That's Donna's Knight! He saved her just last week!" Angie smiled.

"WHAT?!" Alcina yelled - jealousy clear in her voice.

"Yeah - it was late one night; we were looking for a plant that grew on the edge of the valley wall when..."

[Flashback - The Valley of Mist]

"AHHH!" The Dollmaker cried out as the rock under her feet broke away and she began to fall down into the misty darkness of the valley she called her home - tears in her eyes, reaching for the growing moon in the sky that seemed to get smaller and smaller with each second. She closed her eye, waiting for the sudden impact that would end her life of misery when she felt another force - an arm secured itself around her waist and she was pressed a cold chest, she kept her eye closed until she came to a stop and slowly opened them when she came face-to-face with a metal face in a wolf snarl.

"Are you alright, my lady? That would have been quite an unpleasant fall." The deep voice spoke from the metal wolf's locked jaws - Donna's eyes widened at the shining [E/C] eyes that looked back at her from the holes in the helmet.

"I...I am alright." Donna's voice came in a whisper.

"That is good to hear. Now, let's get you back to your companion." The Wolfish Knight said as he looked up and lunged himself up the wall with one clawed hand while holding Donna with the other, refusing to let her go. The moment they reached the top, Angie ran up to them.

"Donna! Are you alright?" She yelled.

"Worry not, Little Angel; your mother is safe, I was not going to let anything happen to her." The Knight said.

"Who are you?" Angie asked.

"I have no name, Little One." The Knight said as he held his hand out to Angie, "Now, take my hand and I'll get both of you back home, it gets rather dangerous around her at this time of night." He said.

Angie looked at the black clawed gauntlet for a moment before she took it and was pulled into an embrace and sat in her mother's lap before the knight rose to his full height and carried the woman bridal style before jumping into the trees - leaping through them like a Forest Cat - before falling to the ground in front of Beneviento Manor and sat them both on their feet. The knight gave them a nod before turning away and leaping away once again - gone from their sight.

[End of Flashback]

"Well...Just because she knew him first doesn't mean that she can have him." Alcina said.

"And what makes you think you deserve him? He saved us first and Donna even saw his eyes; you didn't have a decent conversation with them." Angie said.

"He is my knight and I shall not let anyone take him from me, not even my little sister." Alcina growled at Angie.

"Hey, you can't claim him for yourself if he doesn't want you!" Donna said as she rose from her seat.

"And what makes you think he wants you, little dollmaker?" Alcina smirked.

"I don't know what he wants but if he were here, I would as him!"

Oh, fate - how you be a lady.

The Window above Mother Miranda's head caved inward and two figures came crashing into the stone floor of Mother Miranda's Chapel - the first being one of Karl's Massive Lycans - The Varcolac - and...

THE KNIGHT?!

He was holding the beast by its head as it tried to sink its teeth into his armor. The Varcolac's hand lashed out and knocked the knight into one of the stone walls - making a large hole in it.

"My Knight!" Both Alcina and Donna yelled out before glaring at each other, "Your Knight?!"

A flash of black bolted out of the hole and metal arms wrapped around the beast's neck before twisting - snapping its neck. The Knight dropped the dead creature and exhaled before the wolf face he wore began cracking and broke away: revealing [H/L] [H/C] hair, [E/C] eyes, [S/C] skin with a scar across the face and...

A feminine face?!

THE KNIGHT WAS A FEMALE?!

The knight looked up at Miranda and the other lords before bowing in apology. "Forgive me for this interrupting, this beast attacked my home and I had to put it down." She said. Alcina was quick and was at the knight's side with her hand on the knight's shoulder.

"It's quite alright, cavalerul meu (My Knight). You had to do what needed to be done to keep your lady safe. If you wish, I can bring you to Castle Dimitrescu for a meal and a safe place to recover; it's the least I can do, Darling." Alcina blushed at her words while the woman in armor just looked at her in confusion before she was pulled away from Alcina.

"Hey, Tall One! It's been a while! Thanks for saving us from that thing. Sorry about your mask, Donna and I can get it fixed for you and you can stay with us while it gets fixed." Angie said while Donna smiled.

"Excuse me?!" Alcina said as she marched up to her little sister, the knight moving back. "I was the one who invited my knight to stay at Castle Dimitrescu while she heals, you can't roach on my bonding time with my future partner!" Alcina yelled at the veiled woman.

"And who said she wants you, Alcina?! Didn't you see if was uncomfortable with the way you were touching her?! It's clear she doesn't want you!" Donna yelled back.

"She does! Don't you, cavalerul meu?!" Alcina turned to the knight...only to find her gone. "What?!" She looked around, "Where did she go?!"

"She jumped back out that window while you two were arguing. Looks like she doesn't want either one of you." Karl smirked.

"SHUT UP, KARL!!!" Donna/Alcina/ and Angie yelled at him.

[End]

[satudummy]

Quick-fix family

Description: Gojo told you to help him but you didn't expect him to throw a 7 year old kid at you and expect to play house with him.

Wc:1.3k

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of vomiting, Toji the sorcerer killer, Megumi is a lil shit but only to gojo, threats towards gojo because he is a bitch, and just standard gojo dumbassery.

A/N: This is my first time writing for gojo so please go easy on me babes. Kinda of a mini series is what I am thinking of doing but who knows.

There are several things that aren’t strange when dealing with Satoru Gojo. Random 3am calls? Almost daily. Sending you 50 messages in a span of a minute? Literally so common you expect to see it every time you check your phone. Giving you immense anxiety because he is so unpredictable? Nanami could attest to that.

But you didn’t expect him to text you 60 SOS messages and a phone call where the message was “Come to my house right now. Need help!” and he hung up. Usually, he gives you a few minutes to fight him before hanging up but this time, he just screamed for help and hung up.

You ran to his apartment. Not even caring that you are in pajamas. If the great Satoru Gojo, the strongest of them all, calls for help, you run and help him because it is serious. Or so you thought.

“Hey Y/N.” Gojo said. He was also in his pajamas, holding a dark-haired kid who had a stan on his shirt. He couldn’t be more than 7 years old. He looked annoyed at the fact that he had been carried like a dog.

“What’s going on?” You asked because honestly, you didn’t get it. The room looked okay. No evidence of disaster. Just a kid with a stained shirt.

“Well Y/N Y/L/N, this is Megumi. He is my son.” Megumi groaned at the words the white-haired man said. Gojo had the biggest shit-eating grin ever. The kid looked like he was going to be sick. Gojo took notice of that.

“So do you know how to cure a stomach ache?” You sighed and rubbed your eyes. It was too late for this shit.

"Go buy some ginger ale and crackers.” You ordered Gojo. He let go of Megumi and left to get the stuff you ordered him to get.

“C’mon kid. Let’s get you washed up. How about you get some new pajamas while I prepare a bath?” Megumi nodded and headed to a room.

You went to Gojo's luxurious bathroom. It wasn’t the first time you had been in the fabulous penthouse apartment of Satoru Gojo. In Gojo’s eyes, you were his designated house sitter, which you didn’t mind. Who wouldn’t want to stay in an expensive apartment with expensive candy for a few days?

You started to fill the bath and put some bubble bath solution. Poor kid, Gojo's cooking probably made him feel sick. Who in their right fucking mind would let Gojo babysit?

You let Megumi stay in the bath and relax. You found Gojo in the kitchen, putting the stuff he bought.

“So how did you steal him?” You asked the white-haired menace. He smirked.

“Got him half off on the black market.” You glared at him, he just rolled his eyes and continued. “You know the sorcerer killer?” You nodded.

“Well, that’s his son. Made Toji a promise that his kid wouldn’t end up in the hands of the Zenin.” Gojo continued explaining. For once he took off his glasses. He looked tired, almost as if he hadn’t gotten any sleep before Megumi threw up.

“I don’t think the sorcerer killer was thinking when he gave you custody of the kid.” You joked, Gojo gasped.

“I have you know that I am a great father.” You rolled your eyes. “Gojo, you don’t even know how to take care of him when he has a stomach ache.”

“I am trying okay.” Gojo muttered. Megumi came out of the bathroom in his new pajamas. The poor kid looked tired too.

“Hey, buddy. Are you feeling better?” You ask Megumi in a soft tone. His eyes soften at the sound of your voice. He looked so cute, with an oversize shirt with a panda on it.

Megumi nodded and you handed him a cup of ginger ale. Everything was silent, but not in an uncomfortable way. You put your head on Megumi’s head. He didn’t push it off, he almost leaned into it for a second. You can almost hear him second-guessing himself.

“C’mon buddy, let’s get you to bed.”

-

Toji Fushiguro was definitely not okay when he gave Gojo custody of Megumi.

Megumi’s room was all white and it had a bed in the middle. Nothing else. It didn’t have any indication of a 7-year-old living there. It looked like it belonged to a middle-aged man going through a midlife crisis.

Megumi got on the bed and started to get comfortable. You grabbed the blanket and tucked him in. Gojo tried to kiss his forehead but Megumi moved before he did and covered his head with the blanket. You chuckle at Gojo’s sad face.

“Goodnight, buddy.” You whispered to the sleepy child. “Night Y/N. Night Gojo.” Megumi murmured. Gojo smiled.

“So what do you think of Megumi?” Gojo asked, almost innocently. Whenever he uses that tone, you know he is planning something.

“He is a good kid. Sucks he is going to be stuck with you.” You joked.

“How would you feel if he was stuck with us?” Gojo gave you puppy eyes. There’s never one thing with Saturo Gojo, it’s always something more. You rolled your eyes.

“Listen before you say no.You said it yourself I don’t know how to take care of him. Honestly, if you didn’t answer me I don’t know what the fuck I would do. I-”

“Take him to the hospital, dumbass.” You interrupted, Gojo sighed and rolled his eyes.

“No more interrupting me. Another thing is that I am almost always away on missions and cases. I can’t leave a 7-year-old alone.” Gojo sat on the couch, rubbing his eyes. “What I’m about to ask you is gonna be the most difficult thing to ask.”

“What is it?” There’s nothing scarier than serious Gojo. This is making the hairs in the back of your neck stand up.

“I need you to act and sorta become Megumi’s second parental figure.” It was almost as if you could hear the record scratch.

“Gojo, you better explain.” You warned.

“Megumi needs a person who is more stable, and you don’t go on missions anymore. It's a fool-proof plan. ” Gojo explained. His piercing blue eyes never leave you

“So you want me to play house and help you raise Megumi?” Gojo nodded. You started to think. Megumi seems like a good kid but you work a normal human job. You don’t make the same amount of money you used to as a first grade. The responsibility and the financial pressure might be too much.

“What’s in it for me? Don’t get me wrong, I’ll help you with Megumi but-” Gojo interrupted you by giving you his credit card. Oh, the beauty of Six eyes.

“You can buy anything you need. But mostly this is for every expense related to Megumi. You can even move into the apartment and make yourself home. Whatever you need, I will give it to you. Just- please. Help me.” Gojo said, almost begging. Another thing Satoru Gojo doesn’t do. So you know it’s serious.

“Fine. I’ll help you.” Gojo let out a sigh of relief.

“Great. I feel like this is the start of a great story, don’t you think Mrs. Gojo.” He joked, with the biggest shit-eating smirk. You threw a couch pillow at him but obviously, it did nothing because of his infinity.

“I hope you get used to being called Mrs. Gojo because I already told the school my wife is coming with me tomorrow.” He continued. His smirk widens at the sight of your bewilderment.

“Turn off your infinity right now. ‘Cause I’m gonna fuck you up. What do you mean you told the school? You fucking ass! You planned this beforehand.” You accused the white-haired menace.

“I knew you just can’t say no to me.”

“Fucking choke Gojo.” He put his hand on his chest and started to slide off the couch.

“Why must you treat me this way, my wifey dearest?” You almost wanted to scream at him but you decided not to because it would wake up Megumi.

And that’s how your little family was born.

[pascalpanic]

ok can i request a din djarin x reader where the reader is a badass but usually seduces her bounties to capture them, and din is both jealous and confused (bc she could kick anyone’s ass) and she whips out the line “don’t work for misogyny, make misogyny work for you” thank you so so much

Atin’la (Din Djarin x f!Reader)

Summary: Being a female bounty hunter is a pain in the ass. When you meet a Mandalorian man and begin traveling with him, you meet seemingly the only man in the bounty hunting trade that respects women. Too bad he’s a hopeless romantic too.

W/C: 4k

Warnings: language, alcohol, misogyny, threats of violence, mentions of weapons, Din doesn’t know how to emotion. rude terms to address a female (whore, bitch, etc.)

A/N: I had so much fun working on this request you guys! Fic requests are definitely open if inspiration strikes any of y’all. The bounty they capture in the later part is a Zabrak! I did some research into different humanoid species, and for reference, Zabraks are the species with a ring of horns on their head; the most notable one is Darth Maul. I linked the wookiepedia page here so you can get a feel for what they look like if you aren’t familiar with the species. 

atin’la- tough

Being a bounty hunter and a woman is much harder than being one or the other.

Sexism runs rampant in circles dominated by men, and bounty hunting was certainly one of those circles. Finding a man impartial to women was the best you could get in hopes of employment, a man who actually gave a shit about the women was a dream. 

Luckily, you’d happened across a man who seemed to see directly past gender. A man who you weren’t even sure was a human, covered in beskar and refusing to even tell you his name. He asked you to call him Mando, and that was that.

You’d happened upon the man during a bounty hunt. You were an independent contractor, working for yourself. You’d pick up pucks from slain hunters, more often than not, or you’d run a spare job for Karga or his rivals. Money was the number one concern for you, over loyalty to a certain guild or a certain code.

The hunt was going somewhat easily. It all changed when you looked down and found a tiny green being sipping soup. It smiled cutely at you with tiny white teeth and you abandoned your mission for a moment to give the little thing a scratch on its head. He seemed to appreciate that, leaning into your touch and slipping his wide brown eyes closed.

The being’s father didn’t like that. You looked up to find a beskar-clad, broad-shouldered man pointing a pulse rifle at you. “Step away from the child.”

“Relax,” you said quickly, putting your hands in the air. “I’m not here for him.”

“How do I know that?” The modulated voice growled at you. 

“I’m an independent bounty hunter. Let me show you.” You grabbed a puck and tossed it to the man, who skillfully caught it while balancing his pulse rifle, aiming it directly at your heart. The man- well, you assumed it was a man- pressed the button, illuminating the dark alley with a holographic image of a mythrol. “See? It was registered to Jido Korden. He’s dead now. I stole the puck from his body.”

The black slit in the helmet looked from the puck back up at you. “You’re not Guild?”

“No,” you laughed. “Why bother working for one side when you can keep your opportunities open?” You asked, a smirk on your face. 

He shook his head. “I was assigned to this mythrol too.”

“That’s too damn bad, Mandalorian,” you shrugged and walked closer, snatching the puck back from his palm. “Unless you want to work together,” you snorted as you pocketed the little round piece, turning off the hologram. You looked down at the kid again. “Nice meeting you, squirt,” you hummed to the kid and scratched its head before turning to walk away. 

“Independent, huh?” The Mandalorian asked, lowering his pulse rifle.

You stopped in your tracks. “Yeah. What about it?”

“You have skills. I’ve seen your image before.”

“Better not have been on a bounty puck.” You crossed your arms and turned around. “Where is this going?”

“I… am in need of crewmates. This kid is a kriffing handful, and I can’t keep watching him and running bounties. It’s just not working out.”

“That sucks,” you shrugged. “Is this an offer?” He stared at you for a second, unreadable. His visor stared directly into your face. “Yes. Come work with me. We’ll take turns running bounties and staying on my ship with the kid.”

“Oh, you have a ship,” you raised an eyebrow as you looked up and down his body. “I’m not a working girl, you do know that?”

“Of course I know that,” the man said, annoyance evident in his modulated tone. “This is not a… partnership of that kind.”

You bit your lip and tilted your head as you looked at the man, the child, and back to the man. “50/50 split of payment.”

“60/40.”

“Don’t make me negotiate a higher rate,” you chuckled. “50/50.”

“Fine.”

You smiled. “Looks like you’ve got a partner, Mandalorian,” you said, hands on your waist. You walked closer and offered him a hand. He took it and you shook on the deal. You introduced yourself and he nodded. “What’s your name?” You asked.

“You can call me Mando.”

-

That was how your partnership with Mando began. Now, you’ve worked together for a few weeks. His missions tend to run longer than yours, taking upwards of a week. That leaves you on the ship with the child more, but it’s nice. It’s almost fun to pretend domesticity when the Mandalorian man is gone, playing with the child.

Green bean, baby boy, cutie, kiddo, nugget. The kid had many names under your care. You wonder if Mando ever calls him sweet names when you’re the one gone. You hum to the child and put him in his little knit hammock, hanging above the technically-shared bunk. It’s not really yours or Mando’s. One of you sleeps in it when the other is on the mission. One side has a small shelf with some of your belongings- your glasses, wax for chapped lips, a durasteel flask for water. The other is bare. That’s Mando’s side. 

The child is asleep, and you’re curled up against the back wall of the bunk, reading something on a holopad. Your home planet has a newsfeed you can stream, and you smile softly as you scroll through it. You take a sip of water from the metal flask and hear the child stirring. He wants to be near you, you can tell, as he reaches out a tiny three-fingered hand toward you. 

Shaking your head, you chuckle. “Alright, bud. Come here,” you allow, and the child jumps from his hammock onto your stomach, causing you to make a soft oof as he lands on you. The child giggles and crawls up your body, cuddling in against your chest. You set down the holopad and stroke the child’s big ears. He makes a little coo of happiness, snuggling in and closing his eyes. As much as you’d tried to get the child to sleep in his hammock, every night was like this. He wanted to be held and sung to and kissed between his big eyes. He was a baby, you suppose. You wonder if Mando indulges the child by doing this when it’s just him and the child.

As you close your eyes, you find yourself thinking about the Mandalorian. You liked him, you had to admit, making you smile placidly at the backs of your eyelids. He had a dry sense of humor. He was good to you. He’d indulge in conversation with you between the times one of you would go out on a hunt. He’d listen to you talk and comment along on your stories. He was good at domestics, you’d notice when you came back from your turn hunting. He’d wash and fold the child’s brown robes and his own capes, would polish his weapons and sometimes you could even smell remnants of cooking in the hull of the ship. 

Yes, you have to admit, you like Mando. He’s a good man. He treats you and his little green son well. In response to his kindness, you do what you can for him. You get treats at the marketplace with the child and leave them on his pilot’s seat for him to find. You polish his beskar for him at night when he sleeps, in just a helmet and his flight suit, up in the cockpit whenever the two of you are both aboard the ship. You write him notes of thanks and tuck them around the ship for him to find.

You fall asleep thinking about the man, the enigma shrouded in beskar and dark clothing, while you held the child close to your chest.

-

Mando likes you too. He smiles when he finds a note from you tucked in his pack he carries on missions. He snacks on the candies that you get for him, and even shares them with the child. He falls asleep in the same bunk, thinking about you, the child nestled alongside him. 

When he’s on a hunt, he thinks about you and the child constantly. He wonders if you ever think about him the way he thinks about you. He wonders if you consider him a friend. He views you as one. He pictures the way your eyes twinkle when you and the child get into mischief. He thinks about the way you laugh at his dry humor, the way you send a snarky comment right back at him. The way you’re good to him. The way he secretly yearns for you, for your touch, for your lips and your arms around him. 

Now, as he’s dragging a knocked-out twi’lek back to the ship, he hopes you’re asleep. He hopes he can catch a glimpse of how relaxed you look when you sleep, the way your nose twitches when you’re dreaming and you press kisses to the child’s head in moments of half-consciousness. He hopes he doesn’t wake you as he lowers the Crest’s ramp and walks up, quietly as he possibly can. The carbonite freezer is loud, and it wakes you. “Mando?” You call as you hear it, sitting up.

“Just me, cyar’ika.” 

You don’t know what the word means, but Mando loves to address you by the title. It probably means bitch or snarky one or sassy, you sometimes think. “How did it go?” You ask as you hear the heavy footsteps of the man come to the end of bunk. 

“Easily. He was hard to find but easy to take down.”

“The best kind. More time away from me,” you tease, rubbing your eyes and looking at the hulking man, the red and blue lights from various appliances just barely illuminating his shape. 

“You like it that way, I’m sure,” he teases back, sitting on the end of the bed and stripping off the beskar, setting it on the floor with a clunk. 

“Actually…” you trail off, smiling a little. “I was thinking we could do the next hunt together. I’d like to see your style. My next one is on Tatooine, we could leave the child with Peli. She adores him.”

He turns to look at you. It’s unbearably domestic, your hair messy and your shoulders bare in your sleeping camisole and soft legs visible with the shorts you wear, your glasses slipping down your nose. It’s hard to believe you’re a bounty hunter in this moment, he thinks to himself. You look so delicate and warm and soft. The opposite of him, rough and rude and harsh. “Who’s Peli?” he asks after a moment.

“Mando!” You laugh and smack his bare arm. “The lady with the wild hair. She runs the hangar?”

“That’s her name?”

“Yes, you bantha,” you grin and shake your head. “Her name is Peli. I cannot believe you.”

The child awakens at the noise and makes a noise of excitement as he sees Mando. “Hey, kid,” the Mandalorian chuckles and picks up the child, setting him on his lap. The child hugs him and Mando gives a soft laugh as he hugs him back, lightly. 

“Go back to sleep, cyare. I’ll pilot us to Tatooine and you can finally show me how terrible you are at bounty hunting.” He pats your calf softly, with an ungloved hand, and you do your best not to shiver at the touch of his strong hands on your bare skin. 

“You get some rest too,” you tell him with a soft smile, placing your hand on top of his. Your fingers are so much smaller than his, so much more delicate, and you trace the tips along the back of his hand. He nods and stands, setting the child back down next to your side. You lie back down and cuddle the child into your chest, trying not to think about how strong and warm his hand felt on your skin.

-

Once you arrive on Tatooine, you suit up. Your hair is slicked back to the best of your abilities, and your glasses are replaced with contacts. You pull on your skin-tight black tank top and black cargo pants, strapping your holster belt around your waist, slinging your ammunition belt over your shoulder, where it rests between your breasts. You strap one blade to your thigh and another to your upper arm, and pull on your trusted combat boots. You’re ready. “You can come down,” you shout up to Mando, who’s been patiently waiting in the cockpit for you to get changed. 

The man climbs down the ladder in his full beskar. Tatooine is a hot planet, so he’s omitted the cape for this mission. You can see a peek of skin when he moves his head, showing a little bit of tanned skin, and it makes you bite your lip and turn away. “You ready?” You ask him as you sling his backup pulse rifle- which you’ve claimed as yours now- over your shoulder.

He nods. “Looks like you are too.” The child has already been left with Peli, so everything is set. He walks closer to you and removes one of his metal vambraces, strapping it to your arm. It looks odd against your bare skin, only ever having seen it against the dark material of Mando’s flight suits or duraweave shirts. “This button,” he says and points to a triangular button, “is the comm in case we get separated.”

“You’re gonna be the one needing it,” you tease, pressing the button on his other vambrace. It makes a screeching feedback sound from being so close to the other receiver and you wince before pressing it again to turn it off.

“Sure I will,” he chuckles. 

“Show me the puck one more time?” You ask, looking up into the black T of his helmet. He nods and pulls it out, pressing the hologram. It’s a male Zabrak with a name listed beneath: Gar Thalcyon. Crimes: Bail Jumping, Resisting Arrest, Grand Theft X-Wing. “Shouldn’t be too hard. Men are easy,” you chuckle and take the puck, putting it in a pocket of your cargo pants. “Let’s go.” You walk out of the ship, leading Mando along.

You walk through the crowded marketplace of Tatooine, the Mandalorian man trailing behind you. Your head is held high. You don’t necessarily fit in; many Tatooinians wear robes and hoods to hide from the sun, but you obviously didn’t bother. The Mandalorian behind you most definitely doesn’t belong, attracting stares, but he doesn’t mind either. He’s used to it. 

Mos Eisley is, unfortunately, a dead end, you two discover after a day of searching. The bounty puck never indicates that you’re in the right location. Both you and Mando decide to get dinner at a cantina in town before you move on tomorrow. That’s what led the two of you to where you are: sitting in a more secluded booth, watching the cantina’s patrons get drunker by the minute. 

You’re sipping a bright pink cocktail, and Mando watches the world around the two of you, sneaking glances through his visor at you. “Isn’t this a little irresponsible for a mission?” You chuckle, swirling the skewer of fresh berries sitting in the glass in front of you. 

“He’s not around here. We’re not on mission time now,” he shrugs. 

“Oh, so is this like a date?” You tease with a smile. 

Mando freezes for a second. You hope you haven’t offended him somehow, but he tilts his head as he watches you. “Do you want it to be one?”

You bite your lip and swirl your drink faster. “I don’t know. It’s a little impractical for coworkers, for co-bounty hunters, is it not?” You chuckle, but there’s no humor in your voice as your throat goes dry. 

“It would be,” he nods in agreement. “But our job is only a contract between us. One that can be amended.”

You have a shy smile as you look up at him. “Do you want it to be one, Mando?” You ask. 

He’s silent for a moment. You mentally curse the beskar for hiding his expressions from you. 

“I do,” he finally acknowledges. 

The smile on your face breaks into a grin. “Then I guess we’re on our first date,” you laugh, sipping your neon-colored drink with a smile you can’t get off your face. “I suppose if we’re dating, I should know your name,” you ask him. 

It’s the first time you’ve pushed. You’ve never asked him to take off his helmet, never asked why he didn’t. You’ve been kind and caring and patient and damn, he wants to tell you so bad, but his eyes drift to the side and he sees a Zabrak walk in, and he immediately recognizes him as your target. 

Mando nods to the side. “Take him down and I’ll tell you.”

You look where he nodded and frown. “So much for a date,” you pout and look back at Mando. Sighing, you pick up your drink and stand. “Just know that I only have feelings for you, okay?” You ask, a hand on his shoulder as you walk to his side. 

“...Okay,” he nods, and you walk off, an extra sway in your hips. You may be wearing cargo pants, but your tight top and cinched belt accentuate your body. You’re gorgeous, Mando has to admit. 

The man sits at the bar and you pull up a stool next to him, smiling a little and sipping at your brightly colored drink. “Hey there.”

The man’s eyes look you up and down, and he licks his lips with an odd colored tongue. “Hey yourself. What’s your name, pretty thing?” He asks with hungry eyes. 

You need a cover name and you need it quick. “Manda,” you blurt with a smile, trying to hold back a laugh at the fact that you literally picked your date’s name- well, the one you know him by- but slightly augmented.

You rest your hand on the bar and the man picks up your hand, kissing your knuckles. “You can call me Gar.”

“Hello, Gar,” you giggle and bat your eyes at him. “What’s a man like yourself doing on Tatooine, hm?” You ask him, swirling your drink and sipping it as you look at him with doe eyes. 

He shrugs and looks forward, signaling the bartender for a drink. “I’m a wanted man, my dear,” he says with a salacious smile. 

He sure fucking is, you think to yourself, and you can’t help but snort. Maker, men are ridiculously easy targets. Your plays into your theme, at least. “Oh, and for what?” You ask, leaning in closer. You sneak a sedative dart from a pocket of your pants, holding it in the hand beneath the bar. 

“Stole an x-wing right off a Resistance base,” he chuckles, raising an eyebrow.

“Is that so?” You giggle, eyes wide. “How did you do that?”

He’s about to launch into a spiel when you stab the tranquilizer dart into the back of his hand. “Actually, don’t bother. I already know,” you chuckle, face close to his. He makes a noise of agony and surprise at the needle in his hand, and his body starts slumping. “Never lead by saying you’re a criminal,” you murmur next to his ear and stand, wrapping one of his arms around you and forcing him to walk along with you. 

“You’re a wanted man alright,” you chuckle as you walk out of the bar. You press the button on your comm. “Headed to the Crest. Cover our tab?” You ask into the vambrace. 

There’s a beat of silence. “Already on it, cyare,” the Mandalorian’s voice speaks through the beskar plate on your forearm. “How did you-

“Don’t work with misogyny, make misogyny work for you,” you grunt into the metal and drop your arm. 

The man groans as you drag him along. He looks drunk to anyone else, just barely coherent. “Fuckin’ bitch. Mandalorian’s little whore, huh?” he slurs at you, weakly trying to wrestle free of your grip but failing.

You push him into a nearby wall, twisting his arm at an impossible angle. “Try it again and I rip the horns from your head one by one,” you hiss into his ear.

“Okay, okay, sorry,” he whimpers and you let him go, pulling him into the earlier position.

Peli’s hangar is only a short distance away. As you enter, the green toddler squeals in excitement and runs over to you. “Hey cutie,” you laugh as you see him. Peli isn’t far behind. “Go sit with Peli a little longer, let me get this guy in the ship, okay baby?” You tell him, and he obeys, waddling back to Peli, who gives you a little wave.

“Goddamn,” the Zabrak man groans. “That mando is green under there, then? How could you fuck something like that-”

“I can and will slit your throat right now and let you bleed out. You want your life?” You murmur, grabbing the blade from your thigh and holding it to his neck. He nods frantically. “Then shut the fuck up,” you grunt to him and haul him up the ramp, into the carbonite freezer. He begs and pleads until the hiss of the freezer begins and the man is sealed. “Thank the fucking Maker,” you groan as the words stop. 

You climb back down the ramp to find Mando already holding the child and paying Peli. He thanks her one last time and you take the baby from Mando’s arms. “Were you flirting with him?” He asks, wasting no time. His tone is deadpan.

“Clearly.”

“Why the hell-”

“I wasn’t doing it for fun,” you grimace at him. “This is my fucking method. It’s much fucking easier, and if I have the advantage I might a well take it.”

“Well, I don’t like it.”

“That’s too fucking bad, Mando,” you practically spit, whipping around and walking deeper into the ship with the baby in your arms. “It’s my-”

“Din.” 

You turn around and look at him. “I’m sorry, what?” you ask, clearly annoyed. 

“My name is Din. Din Djarin.”

The anger fades from your body quickly. “Din,” you say back to him, slowly. 

He nods. “I… just got jealous, I suppose. I’m sorry.”

You finally offer a small smile, albeit a tired one. “Thank you. I don’t like doing it either but… it’s my way,” you shrug. 

He walks closer, putting a hand on each of your arms. “I get it.”

You smile softly and put one hand over his beskar-clad chest. “I told you, I only have feelings for you,” you tell him.

He nods softly. “I’m glad. I like it that way.”

Chuckling, you shake your head. “Well, Din. I suppose we could finish our date in here. I could cook something.” You look down at the little green child in your arms. “With him, maybe it’ll be more of a family night.”

Din cups your face in a leather-gloved hand. “Thank you, cyare,” he murmurs, thumb tracing over your cheek.

“What does that mean?” You ask him, looking into where you think his eyes sit beneath the helmet.

He presses your forehead to his, the beskar cool against your warm skin from the Tatooine air. “Beloved,” he murmurs, his fingers tracing your cheekbones.

A small gasp escapes your lips before they form a smile. “Beloved,” you hum back as he wraps an arm around you. “I like being called that.”

-

taglist:

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @softly-sad @blo0dangel @luxurybeskar @binarydanvvers

[helenofsimblr]

11, 26, 42, 50, 60 for Francine, Kane, Arnold! ty

Francine: Oh me again!? Wow!

Kane: Wait this is anonymous, how do I tell if they're hot or not? C'mon, bet you're a cutie.

Arnold: Hmm... *looks up from phone.* What the fuck do you want? I'm busy I haven't got time to answer stupid questions.

Francine: Oh C'mon Arnie, it'll be good publicity for the company.

Arnold: Will it? Fine, make it fast. I'm busy and I got shit to do!

Who’s the most important person in their life?

Francine: Arnold of course, he means the world to me and I'd be lost without him.

Kane: Right now, its my contact at city hall who is preventing an inspection of my club. Motherfucker did a good job of fobbing off the clipboard crew so far.

Arnold: What was the question? *looks up from phone again* Oh uh... Francine, obviously.

What’s one topic they could never get tired of researching or learning about?

Francine: Ooh, I think itd have to be Selvadoradan culture. Such a fascinating topic to cover there. I mean the Genesis Wars were a big deal and lasted decades. I love how they are our immediate ancestors and most modern people sprung from them. Its really fascinating to think as well that a lot of things we take for granted now sprang from them.

Kane: The centerfolds of playboy I guess? Well all jokes aside my late father left me a lot of books years ago about how to run a successful business. Pity he didn't read them as thoroughly as I did.

Arnold: Fuckin' research? I'm tired already at just hearing the question. If I had to, I'd pay some fucker to do it for me.

What’s the typical first impression after meeting this person?

Francine: Positive I hope. I try to be as polite and friendly as I can be. But I also want to be fun too. Hopefully people look at me and don't think "bitch."

Kane: Nah, that's what happens when they meet Kira Francine. I think my first impression is good, they think this guy is suave, debonair, classy, good looking well dressed, interesting, and I'm modest too.

Arnold: I think the first impression when they meet me is fear, and respect. I command, and expect both. Simple as that. Next fuckin' question come on, lets get this shit over with.

Do they have any insecurities?

Francine: Um... I think just feeling like I won't be as good a lawyer as my mom, its some big shoes to fill. I mean, she totally betrayed me but, still, big shoes. Maybe as well that Arnold might find a more pretty girl than me... I guess that's the main ones...

Kane: Insecurity? Nah. Don't do that shit. "Fake it till you make it" motherfucker.

Arnold: Yawn...! Couldn't you have asked about my favourite gun or something instead. Insecurity, right uh, Francine will leave me, but we're tight and together right babe?

Francine: Right!

What are some of their simple pleasures?

Francine: Well for me I think my simplest pleasure is a coffee and a cigarette or a nice drink and a cigarette. I know! I shouldn't smoke, and even though I only have like 10 cigs a month, I wish I never started but, since I did, yeah, I do like it. Don't smoke kids. Um, lounging about in bed on a cold day, love that. And I also like hanging out with my buddy Sarah ( @sparkiekong ) she has been a true friend to me.

Kane: For me cigarettes ain't a simple pleasure, they're a fuckin' essential item! I ain't gonna lie, since I got the club open, I love watching the girls work, I love watching the money flowing. A good bit of weed too now that's where its at. Also, most simple pleasure of all, being right when Kira is clearly wrong! Fuckin' love that.

Arnold: I'm a billionaire's son, so my simple pleasures are my Range Rover Sport SVR, my G wagon. I like my gun collection too, gives me great delight. *looks at Francine sideways a moment.* Oh and cuddling up with Franny on a cold day in that bed. Amphetamines are high on my list too. You get me? Right... this shit is done.

Grabs Francine's hand and walks off with her.

[whatyouandihave-makesmefree]

How to say “I love you” without actually saying it - or 137 Milkovichy ways to say “I fuckin’ love Ian Clayton Gallagher”.

1. Kiss me, and I’ll cut your fucking tongue out.

2. I’ll meet you there in 20.

3. You say that again, I’ll rip your tongue out of your head.

4. Take your hand off the glass.

5. You wanna chit chat more or you wanna get on me?

6. Fuckin’ tough guy, huh?

7. Jesus Christ, you want us to spread a blanket out and look for shooting stars next?

8. Sorry, I gotta go kill your dad, but I’m doing a lot of people a favor, including you.

9. -I missed you-  You did?  -Yeah, man.-

10. So, uh, what you going down for, then, huh?

11. Don’t know what you see in that geriatric viagroid.

12. -You fuck anyone in there yet?-  God, no.  -Wise choice.-

13. Hey, my dad took my brothers on a run out of town for a couple days, so you wanna ditch that dump and crash at my place, you can.

14. Fuck you, is what you were invited to.

15. What are you hoping, I tell you not to go? I’m gonna chase after you like some bitch?

16. -Don’t.-  Don’t what?  -Just…-

17. -You seen him?-  Why do you care?  -Don’t.-

18. You heard from Gallagher?

19. Not fucking Frank. The other one, the redhead.

20. I like fucking carrot-tops, like, with the freckles and the pale skin and fucking alien-looking.

21. He in trouble? What kind of trouble?

22. You wearing cologne?  -No. It’s Kenyatta’s perfume soap shit.-

23. I gotta take care of something important.

24. No, I’m not having fun. I spent the whole day looking for your coked-out ass.

25. You coming back?

26. I’ll do it.

27. Those fingers go anywhere near that cock, I’m gonna break every knuckle in your hand, all 15 of them.

28. Together.

29. That all you think he is? Some twink?

30. Probably best if you don’t, tough guy.

31. Of course we are.

32. You want me to go?  -No, I don’t want you to go.-

33. I’m not lying to you.

34. Ian, what you and I have makes me free, not what these assholes know.

35. Well, good. Leave. What the hell do I care, bitch? Fuck.

36. Hey! Excuse me! Can I get everybody’s attention, please? I just want everybody here to know I’m fucking gay. A big old ‘mo. I just thought everybody should know that. You happy now?

37. Fuck you! Don’t worry about it! I’ve been staying at Ian’s since you’ve been in the can, bitch! Guess what we’ve been doing, daddy! We’ve been fucking! And I take it! He gives it to me good and hard, and I fucking like it.

38. You’re a fucking dick. Yeah, there. That’s what you get.

39. You love him?  -Maybe. I don’t know.-  Because he has a real penis?  -Yeah, I guess.-

40. Rise and fucking shine, Cinderella.

41. Yo, sleepy-face.

42. Hey, you okay? Feeling sick or something?

43. All right, you want me to bring you back something to eat?

44. Ian, are you high? You take something?

45. Fuck’s wrong with him?

46. Before, he was fine. He was happy. He’s staying up all hours of the night, dancing, telling fucking jokes. He kicks my ass every day. I can’t keep up with him.

47. No, no, look. He– he’s low… We cheer him up.

48. What do you mean, hos– Like a psych ward? No fucking way! No fucking way! He’s staying here.

49. I can– I can take care of him. Okay? Let me take care of him until he’s better.

50. Don’t fucking tell me what’s impossible! We’re taking care of him here. You, me, us. His fucking family.

51. He’s not going to some fucking nut house. You hear me? He stays here. He’s staying with me.

52. I’ll be there.  -Better be.-

53. All right. I guess I’m going with you.

54. She’ll send him to a fucking shrink. No. We fix this ourselves.

55. I came out for you, you piece of shit.

56. What’s your type?  -Redhead.-  I am downstairs.  -Batshit crazy.-  Check.  -Packing 9 inches.-

57. I got to take you to a hospital, Ian.

58. I’m worried about you.

59. His partner. Lover? Family? You know?

60. At least he’ll be getting some kind of fucking help.

61. Relationship to the patient?  -Sister.-   -You?-  -Uh, boyfriend.-

62. Hey. Sorry I’m late.

63. We gotta get you to a fucking clinic. Get some meds. Today.

64. Hey, it’s okay. It’s all right.

65. He’s not a fucking lab rat.

66. He’s got me.

67. Hey, Ian’s sleeping in there.

68. All right, breakfast of champs. We got your mood stabilizer, anti-psychotic, anti-depressant. Gatorade.

69. Shut the fuck up. Take the pills, bitch.

70. Hey, no caffeine on your meds.

71. Eat it. Take all those pills on an empty stomach and you’re going to have diarrhea real bad.

72. I didn’t know which Bs to get, so I just got all the fucking Bs. I got B-complex, super B-complex, B-12, B-6.

73. The hell happened to your hand?

74. Did a doctor take care of that?

75. You can’t go anywhere unless you get that looked at, man.

76. Your hand, man.

77. No, no. Look, you’re not supposed to drink on lithium. It makes your blood fucking toxic, and it gets you hammered in like two seconds flat. You can’t-

78. You look like a fucking wet rat.

79. We’re going on a date.  -Fuck, yes, we are.-

80. Where the fuck are you?

81. Where the fuck you been? 

82. You okay?

83. It means we take care of each other.

84. It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit.

85. You look good.

86. Got a new tattoo. Did it myself. Hurt like a son of a bitch.

87. Been thinking about you. You ever think of me? Gonna wait for me?

88. Will you? Wait?

89. You like the high school bleachers? Our spot, man.

90. Look, I’m, um I’m getting some new IDs, some cash, and heading to Mexico.-  Wow.  -You should come.-

91. Thought a lot about you inside. You’re under my skin, man. The fuck can I do? Hmm? Can I do?

92. Knew you’d come. 

93. Come here.

94. I’m gonna see you again?

95. The fuck you looking at?

96. It’s what kept me going in the joint. The beach. Us.

97. Oh, check it out. Ian Gallagher putting his big boy pants on!

98. You never fucking visited me.

99. What am I leaving behind? My family? Who cares I never see those shitheads again. You had my back more than they ever did.

100. You ever think about me? When I was in the joint?

101. Fuck, I missed you.

102. What the fuck is that? I don’t want your fucking money! I want you to come with– me.

103. Don’t do this.

104. Fuck you, Gallagher.

105. I rolled on the cartel I was working for, and in exchange, guess who gets to pick where he gets locked up?

106. No, I just did it ‘cause it was the right thing.

107. Would you be fucking happy?  -Yes, fuck, yes!-

108. I guess I need some advice. It’s about my partner, Ian.

109. You’re not throwing your fuckin’ parole for me. We need to get you the hell outta this shit-hole.

110. You don’t belong in here, Gallagher.

111. I shouldn’t have asked you to stay.

112. FaceTime your brother. See the baby.

113. You seen Ian?

114. About time, man. Your Panda Express is getting cold.

115. Eat your Szechuan beans.

116. Chill your fucking tits and eat your noodles, man.

117. Let’s get out of here, get some Pinkberry.

118. No. No. I’m not running. I need to protect him.

119. Jesus Christ. You proposing to me over fucking patty melts?

120. Fuck it. I do.

121. When you know, you know. You know?

122. No, just saying you don’t love me enough now. And that’s fine. It’s cool.

123. Jesus Christ, save the fucking speech, you pussy. I’ll marry you. Of course I’ll fucking marry you.

124. You must really love cock.  -I definitely love one.-

125. You ever try to get me to move to Milwaukee, I’ll fuckin’ murder you.

126. Hey, I like the blue ones.  -Yeah?- 

127. You sure you still wanna go through with this?  -Yes. Why?-

128. You’re a sneaky bastard.

129. -Take your meds?-  Yes.  -Good.-

130. The son of a bitch is never gonna let me be happy. He needs to die today.

131. Well, there’s plenty of strays wandering around the neighborhood. I’m sure we can pick one up for cheap.

132. Yeah, well, at least I don’t have to hide in a coffin till the sun goes down.

133. Damn straight, Gallagher.

134. I, Mikhailo, take you, Ian, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,  to love and to cherish you till death do us part.

135. Good morning, Mr - Millagher?

136. You hungry?

137. You wanna go again?  -Absolutely.-

[purrincess-chat]

Cat’s Not-All-Encompassing Character Ranking

Okay, so I have to admit that I omitted a lot of characters I don't have strong opinions on. Most of them were one-off akumas, so don't get your panties in a twist, your faves are probably still on here (and ranked lower than you think).

As a preface again, these are just my personal opinions. They can't hurt you. You can still like characters more or less than me. And I don't care how you feel about them. This list is for me. And the person that asked for it. So shut up. Go make your own rank list if you’re so butthurt. 

We're going in reverse order this time, starting from the bottom:

84. Gabriel Agreste- I mean, is anyone surprised? I am not private about how I think Gabriel should go to jail. Or fall off a cliff. Or be erased from existence. Rip to those that like him, but I’m different.

83. Thomas Astruc- Honestly, he’s down here on principle. Self-inserts are generally a no-no, and I just laugh every time I see him on screen because he really put himself in this show and said boohoo no one appreciates me XD

82. Bob Roth- I feel like this one should also be obvious. He’s just a dick. Terrible human. I give him 0 stars.

81. Tomoe Tsurugi- We all collectively hate her, right? It’s not just me?

80. Su Han- This mans has small peepee energy. And he bad mouthed Fu, so get FUCKED, my dude.

79. Rolland Dupain- Listen, I get it, he liked Marinette in the end, but I could do without the racism.

78. Nathalie Sancoeur- My opinion of Nathalie took a nosedive after the s2 finale. I just do not care that she is in love with her boss. Don’t care that she’s dying. Just do not have it in me.

77. XY- Justin Bieber ass wannabe.

76. Nora Cesiare- I didn’t care for Nora. I know Thomas loves her, but the overbearing sibling trope is tired.

75. Anarka Couffaine- I underestimated how much I don’t really like her. Like, it’s not full-on hate, but I just do not care for her.

74. Otis Cesaire- Got akumatized because a kid said he could outrun a panther. I’m still not over it, Otis.

73. Andre Bourgeois- No love for the crooked mayor. I hope your wife divorces you. 

72. Alec Cataldi- The real villain of Stormy Weather. Like fr why is he such an asshole?

71. Roger Raincomprix- Is Officer Roger just doing his best? Sometimes. But like sometimes this mans just needs to take a chill pill.

70. M. D'Argencourt- Please get out of the 1600s

69. Ella/Etta- These two are basically the same character, and I am indifferent to both of them.

68. KnightOwl/Barbara- Listen, I would have liked you more if you were less controlling.

67. Majestia- Same as above, but like I guess I like you more

66. Theo- *Mean Girls principal voice* Stay away from underaged girls!

65. Andre the ice cream man- I just want a scoop of chocolate, Andre. Is that too much to ask??

64. Amelie Graham de Vanily- We haven’t seen much of her, but she seems like a snake bitch.

63. M. Kubdel- I mean, if my son wanted to resurrect an ancient mummy and believed in aliens, I’d give the family heirloom to my daughter too.

62. Jalil Kubdel- Lolol, buddy, pal, dude, my guy. Chill.

61. Vincent (Adrien's photographer)- Head empty. Mom’s spaghetti. Idk he’s alright.

60. Manon- I don’t hate Manon. She just gets on my nerves every time she talks.

59. M. Ramier- This mans got akumatized a billion times because he gets emotional about pigeons. I mean, honestly mood.

58. Mme. Mendeleiev- She doesn’t put up with Chloe’s shit, and we respect her for this.

57. Baby August- Someone just give this mans some food. He’s a growing boy.

56. Santa Claus- If I were Santa, I too would list Ladybug as the best kid in the world.

55. Art Teacher- He doesn’t even have a name, but I vibe with him. He seems like he likes to paint scenes of nature with his pet squirrels.

54. Prince Ali- Lil mans just wanted to have a good time. I can respect that.

53. Duusu- Duusu, I get that your Miraculous was broken, but get with the program, girl. You is a hostage.

52. Other Kwamis- Idk, all the ones we haven’t seen as much. I don’t have real opinions on them yet. Just neutral.

51. Sass- He gives me dad vibes.

50. M. Damocles- You go, you funky owl man

49. Jean (Chloe's Butler)- He deserves a raise. What is your name, sir? We may never know.

48. Mireille Caquet- She’s pretty cute. No complaints.

47. Aurore Beaureal- Baby’s first akuma. I love her design. She’s a cutie.

46. Claudie Kante (Max’s mom)- This womans just wanted to go to space and live her dream. We stan a hardworking queen.

45. Hot Dog Dan- I like him more than Andre the ice cream fraud. Sure, my hotdog might turn me purple, but if I ask for chili on it, I bet he’d oblige.

44. Nadja Chamack- I mean, she’s doing her best.

43. Audrey Bourgeois- So, as I said in the episode ranking, I have a love-hate relationship with Audrey. She’s the worst, but that’s why I love her. I love her ironically. Like, yeah she’s atrocious, but I just want to watch her burn the world.

42. Luka Couffaine- Directly in the middle, like he’s always been.

41. Nathaniel Kurtzberg- My opinion of Nath improved after Reverser surprisingly. I ship it.

40. Chris Lahiffe- I like Chris better than Ella/Etta. He’s just a little mans out here living life wanting to grow up. Don’t believe it, Chris. Stay little forever. Being an adult suuuuucks.

39. Fang the Crocodile- The goodest boy.

38. Nooroo- I just want to give him a hug.

37. Mlle. Bustier- She’s doing her best, but I mean, when ya whole class keeps getting turned into supervillains, I’m surprised she’s not an alcoholic.

36. Penny Rolling- I just like her. I think she’s neat.

35. Ondine- Mermaid queen! She’s so sweet, and I love her with Kim. I hope we see more of her in the future.

34. Marc Anciel- Marc is a little cutie bean. Idc if he’s based off one of Thomas’s irl friends. He can stay.

33. Wayzz- He loves Master Fu so much I cry.

32. Felix Graham de Vanily- I know everyone hates canon Felix, but tbh he exudes massive chaotic neutral gremlin energy, and I actually kinda vibe with that. And he pisses with his uncle which is a whole ass mood.

31. Tikki- Tikki is very cute, but bby please work on the preaching. You don’t always know what’s right, babe.

30. Sabrina Raincomprix- Sabrina deserves better. I hope we see good things happen for her.

29. Lila Rossi- Surprised? I actually like Lila. The first fic I ever wrote for this fandom was a Lila redemption. I think she is a good antagonist and foil to Marinette. I absolutely want to see her get dunked on in canon, but that doesn’t mean I hate her.

28. Wayhem- I don’t know why, but Wayhem makes me laugh. I love him XD

27. Uncle Cheng- He’s just a good mans with a birb who wants to make you tasty food. What’s not to like?

26. Trixx- Trixx shot up after GoS. Chaotic bean make Eiffel Tower go bendy

25. Jess- She’s pretty cool. She’s a vibe.

24. Aeon- The cutest bean!!! She saw Adrien and Marinette and said yep. Those two are meant to be together. Jess, we gotta make it happen.

23. Ivan Bruel- Ivan is such a gentle bean. We love him.

22. Mylene Haprele- Smol

21. Fei Wu- I still have not watched the Shanghai special with subs, but I liked her.

20. Gina Dupain- The grandma I aspire to be.

19. Marianne Lenoir- I love her. She is good. She and Fu are so cute. And she seems like she would have kicked le ass back in the day. (and even now)

18. Rose Lavillant- I am so excited for Pigella!! Rose is too cute. We love her. 

17. Gorilla- aka Adrien’s real dad. If the series doesn’t end with Gabriel getting yeeted into the stratosphere and Gorilla adopting Adrien, I don’t want it.

16. Clara Nightingale- She’s in love with Marinette. You can’t change my mind. 16 is also how old I hc her to be, so don’t nobody come for me.

15. Tom Dupain- Most. Supportive. Dad. Soft bean. Just wants to make you fresh bread.

14. Sabine Cheng- Good mom vibes. We love to see her.

13. Juleka Couffaine- Shy goth bean. Just wants to have her picture taken. Definitely a lesbian. We stan.

12. Nino Lahiffe- The goodest boy. He’s just out here doing his best, loving his friends.

11. Chloe Bourgeois- Chloe is another one I have a love-hate relationship with. Her brattiness is funny to me. We had high hopes for her. Honestly, she ranks this high because I like to play with her in fic.

10. Max Kante- He smol and smort. And I adore his friendship with Kim and the fact that he made an AI himself at 14. What a legend.

9. Alya Cesaire- Rip to Alya salters, but I’m different. Outside of Chameleon, Alya is fine. She’s a supportive bff. All yall people that are mad she doesn’t kiss Marinette’s ass all the time need to go out and make real friends. I said what I said.

8. Alix Kubdel- I love Alix. I love how she is always so done with all the lovey-dovey bullshit. She is tiny queen, and Bunnix, while OP af, is still super cool. We love to see her.

7. Kagami Tsurugi- I will fight anyone who shits on Kagami. She has done nothing wrong, you guys are just haters. All she did was exist, and yall said, wow what a toxic bitch?? Disgraceful.

6. Jagged Stone- We are going to ignore the deadbeat dad trope that canon thrust upon him. He is a Marinette stan, and we love that.

5. Kim Le Chien- I really love Kim, you guys. Does that surprise you? Listen, my favorite male character types are sweet beans and himbos. Kim is both of these.

4. Master Fu- If you didn’t pick up on how much I love Fu from the episodes ranking, then idk what to tell you. I want him to be my grandpa. I would trust this mans with my life. He did his best. You paint those pictures, you funky little man. I love you.

3. Plagg- My galaxy trash man. Love him. 10/10 chefs kisses all around.

2. Adrien Agreste- The biggest Marinette stan there is. I just want him to kiss her on the face. And marry her. Idk, I just think that would be neat if he could do that. I just want good things for them.

1. Marinette Dupain-Cheng- Honestly, are you surprised? I have always been and always will be a Marinette stan. If you expected anyone else to be in this spot, then clown suit rentals are off to the left.

[shawnxstyles]

last updated: november 14, 2022

MASTERLIST

requests are: open (but i have a lot right now)

harry OR shawn OR tom OR mcu!peter OR nathan x female!reader only please.

feel free to use this list, but please reblog it and/or give me credit!

most of these are smut concepts/prompts because that’s what i like writing :)

if there are any submissions that i can’t write/don’t feel comfortable writing, i won’t.

———

concepts

1- “Why should I?”

2- “Is it that hard?”

3- “Oh yeah?”

4- “How good is it?”

5- “We’re leaving now.”

6- “You’re such a baby, baby.”

7- “Don’t move.”

8- “I like what I see.”

9- “Say it.”

10- “You sure about that?”

11- “You’re mine.”

12- “Hm is that so?”

13- “Is it wet?”

14- “Give it to me!”

15- “You’re such a brat.”

16- “Someone needs to teach you a lesson.”

17- “If you want to.”

18- “You like... my fingers?”

19- “Something about ___ turns me on.”

20- “You’re mine. Only mine. Got it?”

21- “You like when I call you ___?”

22- “Is that supposed to scare me?”

23- “Hold my hand.”

24- “You’re such an ass.”

25- “Who do you think you are?”

26- “Bad girls get punished.”

27- “Please! I’ll do anything!”

28- “Such a good girl.”

29- “Beg for it.”

30- “Strip.”

31- “What the fuck are you wearing?”

32- “Look at me.”

33- “You’re jealous.”

34- “Look at you, with my hands on your neck.”

35- “And what about it?”

36- “I’m in a meeting, baby.”

37- “Need some help?”

38- “Make me.”

39- “My princess parts hurt.”

40- “Daddy, I need you!”

41- “You like when I wear makeup?”

42- “Gotta stay quiet, baby. Don’t want them to hear us.”

43- “You like that, don’t you?”

44- “Fucking prick, you are.”

45- “I’ll take you over my knee right now, if you don’t stop.”

46- “Shut up, already.”

47- “The butterfly tattoo is my favorite.”

48- “Are you seriously turned on right now?”

49- “Use me.”

50- “Do it, I dare you.”

51- “Don’t flatter yourself.”

52- “Can you just stop talking?”

53- “You’re blushing.”

54- “Tell me you don’t like it and I’ll stop.”

55- “You’re doing so good, baby.”

56- “You want me to? Really?”

57- “You arrogant son of a bitch.”

58- “I know you want me.”

59- “Can’t right now, love.”

60- “I’m busy, baby.”

61- “I might be a little drunk right now.”

62- “I didn’t think we’d get here.”

63- “Put on some pants!”

64- “I’m not gonna stop reading.”

65- “Where’d you find that?”

66- “I’m going to rip that off of you.”

67- “So needy, baby.”

68- “We gotta be quick.”

69- “You’re such a tease.”

70- “You totally checked me out.”

71- “We’re in public!”

72- “No way! I can’t do that.”

73- “Can I kiss you?”

74- “I swear, you were made for me.”

75- “I think about you all the time.”

76- “Would you mind?”

77- “There’s nothing you could ever do to make me stop loving you.”

78- “I think I’m obsessed with you.”

79- “You’re always on my mind.”

80- “Your skin is so soft.”

81- “I tripped over you and fell in love.” (I LOVE IT WHAT?)

82- “Your voice is my favorite song.”

83- “But if you leave, I’ll miss you too much.”

84- “You’re the one for me, baby.”

85- “I hate that I love you.”

86- “Get out!!”

87- “Don’t look at me like that.”

SITUATIONS (examples)

1~ He comes home from work stressed, and you decide to help him.

2~ New neighbor moves in and you want to get to know him.

3~ He’s the CEO and you’re his assistant.

4~ He’s the professor and you’re his TA

5~ It’s his house and you’re his maid.

6~ Celebration sex (birthday, valentine’s, etc.)

7~ Tutoring help/project together

8~ Game of truth or dare

9~ You’re needy while he’s at/doing work

10~ He’s away on tour and you miss him, until he comes home