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#somewhere cozy. maybe start a garden. get a cat. hold a loved one close at night. that's it really
fridayyy-13th · 26 days
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i am feeling So Many Things at the moment but mostly i just feel like a disaster
#friday chats#tw vent#it's like.#new school - far from family - already behind - new crush - really tired - fucking focus would you?! - new show - undone chores#on and on and on#a big ball of highs and lows that - instead of mellowing out into a net positive or negative -#- just make me feel like i'm being pulled in two opposite directions#why can't i just have the good and not the bad#i really wanted to take a gap year to decompress from All Of High School but my parents refused#kind of wish i took it regardless. just ''whoops - missed the application deadline! i'll get it in next year'' and faced their ire#but then i wouldn't have met my new friend at freshman camp#we both were individually interested in the queer orgs on campus and could have still met that way#but idk. it wouldn't have been the same#mostly i'm just worried i'm not cut out for living on my own. being an adult with a job. doing college at all.#not because people who have to rely on others/don't have a job/drop out are supposedly failures#but bc i don't have anybody i could safely fall back on AND live a life that is entirely my own if i don't make it#all i've got is my family. who will judge me for failing and force me to stay in the closet.#and frankly i don't want to live like that#so i have to keep going#but also part of me's like. ''you're ready to throw in the towel only a week in?? for fuck's sake friday come on''#it was just so much. i don't know. i just want to rest. i've been stressed for so long#i want a life where my needs are met and i feel safe and loved. that's all#but NOO i have to get a DEGREE to get a JOB so i can even begin to THINK of something like that#my family always jokes about how one day when i'm successful as an author i'll be super rich and have a private jet or whatever#and yeah that just speaks to how poorly they know me but more importantly IF i make it that big i just want to settle somewhere nice#somewhere cozy. maybe start a garden. get a cat. hold a loved one close at night. that's it really#and it sure would be nice if i could have that without having to bend over backwards getting a degree and a 9-to-5 or w/e#but i can't. so throwing myself at the wall that is my shit executive function it is.
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adaodinson · 3 years
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Thank you
I got the inspiration for this since I watched Rush again (one of my favorite movies). I really enjoyed writing it so I hope you enjoy reading it :)
And well my obsession on Daniel Brühl makes no sign on leaving any time soon, so I’m putting that to good use.
Summary: Niki notices his new neighbor the second she moves in next to him, will you notice him?
Warnings: swearing, assholes and Niki being a little shit that knows what he’s doing.
Relationship: Niki Lauda x fem!reader.
You sighed as you carried the last box into your new house. You had started taking everything inside with a rather positive energy, but after four hours you were exhausted. Everything was now inside, but as you closed the door and turned to look at your small living room, the sight made you want to cry. Sure, everything was inside, but it was still packed up.
-You know what- you talked to the air- I´ll do that tomorrow, I´m gonna treat myself cause this was fucking exhausting-.
You walked towards your new kitchen. Of course, the only things that were unpacked were your writing tools and cooking tools. As you walked around the counter a sudden feeling of tired happiness filled you. You had finally found a job you adored, and at the need, you didn´t hesitate in moving out from your country into this new, small place. It was perfect for a person or two; or as your case happened to be, one person and two cats. You were starting, doing what you loved, and you knew it was going to be tough, but you weren´t expecting anything else.
Almost automatically, you started settling all the ingredients for spaghetti bolognesa on the counter, and since you knew the recipe by heart, the only thing you used your phone for was to play your favorite music. As you danced and sang around, you moved gracefully, working with the stove, chopping what was needed and mixing expertly. You had always loved cooking, and you were pretty good at it, if you said it yourself. But you never saw it as a career. Your thing was writing.
As you waited for the pasta to cook and the sauce to simmer, you looked outside the window when a sudden light in the next-door house was turned on. It was pretty close, so you had a good sight of the inside. It looked cozy, but it seemed whoever lived there didn´t spend most of their time inside. Curiously, you waited to see if you could get a glimpse of the person, but after a few minutes passed, you gave up and went back to the kitchen.
Niki was just arriving to his house. He was, as usual, exhausted. All he wanted was to finish the phone calls he needed to do and go to bed, but an amazing smell that he immediately recognized as bolognesa caught his every action. He headed for the window, and that was when he saw you. You were wearing a pair of dark blue pants and a purple hoodie, and even though your mother would have said you looked like a homeless person, Niki thought you were insanely cute. Of course he always kept that kind of thoughts to himself, but he couldn´t help but staring as you danced around the kitchen, checking on the pasta and mixing up the sauce. He could get a rather low volume of your so inspired singing, but what he managed to hear was beautiful.
-Huh, she´s pretty, dances, cooks, and sings… what a sight I get from here- He said to himself, allowing his mind to take you in and think of you, not only in a bit of a sexy way, but in a cute one as well.
From that day on Niki caught glimpses of you many times, doing different things. He learnt so much about you, but at the same time, he knew nothing. It was obvious you had two cats, and that they loved you as much as you loved them. His heart had ached the first time he saw you laying on your small garden, with your back facing up, and with both of your cats cuddled on top of your back as you slept. For those moments, he allowed himself to feel, knowing it wouldn´t lead anywhere. But it was only for those few minutes that he saw you that he let his mind find somebody so cute and not try to find something wrong with them. He never expected people to know who he was, but he thought someone like you wouldn’t have gone unnoticed at the races, not just by him, but by the other drivers as well, so he knew you probably didn´t know him for his career.
You had seen your new neighbor a few times, and God wasn´t he attractive. You swore you had seen him somewhere, but couldn´t quite place your finger on where. You knew nothing about the guy, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to stop making fake scenarios in your head; ones in which he would look at you for the first time and fall for you, but you knew it was normal to fantasize that way. The day you finally talked to him though, was a... weird one, to say the least.
You had bought a new couch but forgot to specify in the delivery form that you needed help taking it inside, so when you saw the huge furniture, you felt like screaming.
Niki was arriving from a morning of work with Clay. It was one of those rare days in which he got an afternoon for himself. After parking his car, he walked towards his house, and as he reached for his keys he stepped on something and fell on his ass with a hard smack.
-OUCH- he whined as he tried getting up. The second you felt something hit your foot you knew something was going to go wrong, and when you turned to see your cute neighbor (that happened to have an Austrian accent) on the ground with an angry face, your fear came real.
-What the hell was… watch out next ti…-He yelled but couldn´t finish. The second he saw you on your knees holding the wrap around the couch, he realized he had stumbled with your foot, and his angry face immediately changed into a soft one.
-I´m sorry, is your foot okay?- He asked, feeling stupid at the second the words left his mouth. You looked at him with a confused and embarrassed look.
-What? No, don´t you apologize, I´m sorry, I should have been more careful as to where I was sitting. Please don´t apologize, are you okay?- You said as you stood up and offered your hand to help him get up.
-Yeah, I´m fine, do you need help with that?- Niki knew there were first times for everything, but he cringed at the words that were coming out of him, they seemed to make you happy though, so it didn´t bother him for that long. He wasn´t always an asshole, but he definitely wasn´t used to being nice either. Around you it seemed to come out automatically, and he hated it but loved the way it made you smile. He had so many mixed feelings that he was actually feeling nervous. What the hell is wrong with me, he thought.
-Oh yes please! If it´s not too much trouble, I´ve been trying to take this inside for 40 minutes and well, you can see how good that´s going- He chuckled softly and you felt your heart skip a beat at the sound.
Without another word, he headed for one side of the couch as you grabbed the other one, but before you could lift it, about three people with shirts that spelled “James Hunt” interrupted.
-Hey rat face- a tall, dark haired man said as the other two behind him laughed- hey cutie, is the asshole bothering you?- He said looking at you. Who the hell does this idiot think he is?
Niki´s face was serious, just serious. He didn´t even look at the guy, almost as if he was used to that type of thing happening, and he made no sign to want to do anything about it. It impressed you how it seemed like he genuinely didn´t care about this guy, but you weren´t taking any of it, so before any of the idiots said anything else, you spoke.
-No, actually, the ugly assholes bothering are you three shitheads, so if you could walk on and leave us alone, I would mostly appreciate it- You said with a harsh tone and a serious grin. Niki dramatically turned his face with a shocked and amused expression towards you. The three guys didn´t seem to have any clever response, but their heads were too filled with ego to actually leave.
-Hey, you heard her! Go away assholes!- Niki finally said. They walked looking at each other. They clearly weren´t expecting any of you to talk back.
-Thank you- Niki said with an almost inaudible tone.
-Don´t thank me- you said with a smile- the idiots only wish they were as handsome as you are...- That last part came out without you wanting it to. You immediately covered your mouth with your hand and tried to ignore the surprised but hugely amused grin on Niki´s face.
-I´m sorry, I´m sorry, I didn´t mean to say that I…-
-Do you really think that?- You would have liked to say he was genuinely asking, maybe he was, but now it was pretty clear he was teasing you because of the stupid smirk that covered his face.
-Maybe…- You said as you looked to the floor.
-I´m Niki- He said as he took his hand from the couch and placed it for you to shake. That smirk was still plastered in his face.
-I´m Y/N…- You said hesitantly as you shook his hand, not looking at his face.
-You´re beautiful, you know?- Niki stated with a proud tone. Oh he knows what he´s doing.
You weren´t even able to answer, your face was redder than the apples that were hanging from the tree in front of your house, and as much as you wanted to, you couldn´t come up with any way of teasing him back.
-So, let´s take this inside- He said as he lifted the couch. You only nodded and followed. Niki was dying. He found it so insanely cute and amazing how just a few seconds ago you were being a badass against the assholes that bothered him, but when he complemented you, you couldn´t even bring yourself to answer.
You had no stairs, but it was a relatively long trip, so you really appreciated his help. As you settled the couch on it´s place, both of you fell dramatically into it and sighed at the effort.
-Let me make dinner for you, as a thank you- You said shyly but with a little bit more confidence.
-I´d love that, gorgeous- He said as he winked, and you felt your insides melting. Once again, he had you wrapped around his finger, you both knew it, and you both loved it. You led him to the kitchen and as you pulled out the ingredients, you felt two hands hesitantly grabbing your waist. Hesitantly not because he wasn´t sure he wanted to place his hands on your waist, but because he didn´t want to overstep.
You leaned into his touch and he got the answer he wanted. All afternoon you spent dancing with Niki behind you, talking with you and complementing how amazing everything smelled. You secretly thanked your past self for forgetting to ask for help on the couch, since that mistake led to one of the best things in your future: Niki Lauda.
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queenofanime · 4 years
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The Gold Watch
(Haikyuu x reader)
Part 1 
Part 2
 "I suppose a million words would not bring you back. How do I know? I tried. Neither would a million tears, I know because I cried."
                                                      (─‿‿─)            
Somehow, after begging, have coach Ukai's patience thrown out the window, and begging some more, Hinata managed to convince his team and Nekoma's team to join in a shared jogging routine through the forest. He had claimed it would build good sportsmanship with the rivalry cats and it would be a fun adventure. Out of everyone, the least excited was Kenma, obviously. He couldn't understand why he had to socialize with people and on top of that, run!? But after a long talk with his captain Kuroo and the constant pestering of Hinata and Lev, he caved in. 
                                                      (─‿‿─)
"Okay, listen up!" The commandant voice of Daichi sent chills down everyone's spine, "The marathon consists of running through a small town outside Iwate Prefecture, surround the beach, go through the forest, hike a small part of the mountains, and finally return to a cabin we have rented. Don't get lost and be aware of others, understand?" With that being said, both crows and cats started to jog as a group. 
The town was a happy hug of houses that had expanded as the years went on. Rustic cabins dotted the grassy hills as trees stood up like spikes, zigzagging the border of brick roads and unpolished homes. Rivers streamed through deep valleys. The sun was bright and warm and with the help of the cold light breeze, it created a perfect balance. Even though it was a small town, one could feel the joyful spirit of the people. Everyone was actually having genuine fun, well everyone except for Kenma. He was hungry and sleepy and spent. 'Why the hell did I say yes!?' He could have spent all afternoon playing games and watching movies in his comfy bed, but no, here he was senselessly running. Hinata must have read his thoughts though because he started to slow down and made his way to the gloomy teen. 
"C'mon Kenma! Cheer up, this will make us better players!"
"I don't care about volleyball as much as you do, you know" 
Harshly, Hinata stopped in his tracks. Worried he had offended the red-head, Kenma stopped as well.
"Hinata?" 
Hinata's eyes were now focused on a small iron gate trapped between two small houses. It looked ancient and neglected. The iron was rusty and parts of the design were missing and covered in moss. Kenma deadpanned. It had only taken about 2 seconds for Hinata to get distracted by something else.
Turning to face Kenma, Hinata spread a wicked smile that reflected pure evil. 
"This gate leads to somewhere" 
"So?"
"We should go through it" 
There was no way in hell Kenma was entering that place. Most chances pointed to that place being hunted. They would probably get lost anyway.
"No"
"W-what? Why not!" 
"The others are getting ahead. Stop wasting time"
"And I thought you didn't want to run anymore"
Now that's where Hinata got him. 
"I mean, this door just happens to lead to the forest and it seems it passes directly through the mountain. We could easily avoid half of the route... But I guess since you don't want to..." Kenma could easily see Hinata was trying to manipulate him, and that caused him to anger, but what truly boiled his blood, was the fact Hinata was succeeding. By now the others had gone ahead. Letting out a sight, Kenma caved in for the second time. 
"Ugh fine"
The evil attitude melted away by an excited one. Without even realizing it, Hinata jumped as his eyes light up. 
"Yeah!!"
Was Kenma going to regret this decision? Most probably. 
                                                         (─‿‿─)
The gate, in fact, leads to a wild garden. It looked abandoned and poorly maintained. All different kinds of flowers and bad weed were growing and stretching through the ground. Some birds chipping through the sky only made it more mysterious. The great weather completely disappeared when entering a more secluded part of the forest. Little sound in the bushes could be heard and the feeling of being watched was starting to become nerve-wracking. Both males walked a couple of meters further until they made it to a small opening. 
"What in the...?"
A small broken playground stood in the middle of the landscape. It had long been forgotten as wildflowers tried to reach the structure. The slow creeks of the swings, rusty and weathered, sent shivers down both spines.
Subconsciously, all of Hinata's memories of his childhood came flooding back; the once yellow metal of the swings was now a brown-beige and barely visible through the patches of moss and vines. What had been a place of joy, of peace and tranquility, could be the set of some horror movie.
"Maybe we should head back, huh?" The worried voice of Hinata could eco through the wind and into the trees. 
"Kenma?"
Now it was Kenma's turn to be distracted. His yellow eyes were looking directly at a pair of glowing blue orbs. Both teens swallowed hard. A siamese cat was watching them every move. A small bird agonized between its teeth and claws. The cat studied Kenma from hair to toe. The boy was captivated by the animal. It looked clean and by the looks of it, it probably had an owner. 
"We should follow it," Kenma said while pointing its finger to the creature. "Unless you got cold feet?"
Hinata wasn't going to let Kenma win, he was the one that decided to come in the first place and he wouldn't back down. Putting his arms at the back of his head, Hinata started walking casually. 
"You are right, we should follow it."
                                                   (─‿‿─)
They made their way through the forest while following the cat, that by now had already devoured its lunch. The scenery didn't get much better either. It looked more cynical as the characters entered further into the forest. By now, the sun was beginning to set, and they weren't even close to the feet of the mountain. Both Hinata's and Kenma's feet were aching and they were starving. 
"Some shortcut this turned out to be," said Kenma ironically.
But both stopped when they saw a small light coming from a house. The property was surrounded by a lovely garden that stood out from all the wild grass. It contained Roses and Tulips and Orchids and Berries. Soon a soft melody started to play. It came from inside the warm house. The teens had made it this far, why turn back now? The glass door was unlocked and from the outside, one could see the cozy living room. It was surrounded by elegant ornaments and delicate objects. It had a western taste rather than oriental. The fireplace illuminated the sky and beautiful paintings of women hanged from the wall. The music playing was provided by a classical record player. It was opera and it was sung by an angelic voice. Everything was so magical that both males entered unaware of the crime they were committing. 
Kenma and Hinata were beginning to settle down on the couch when suddenly a husky voice came from another room.
"Who goes there?"
Realizing they were trespassing, panic starts to flow throw them. Jumping away from the couch both Hinata and Kenma sprint to the door, however, on the way out, Kenma stumbles with the carved wooden table that was holding the record player. Both he and the object fall to the ground. The record player makes an infernal screeching when it hits the floor. Startled by the commotion, Hinata helps the boy get up and both of them run as fast as they can without looking back. They ran all the way to the iron gate and headed for the beach. 
When they get near the last part of town, they hear their names being called. Everyone from the Karasuno and Nekoma's team is looking for them.
"Hinata!! Kenma!!" the shouting intensifies. 
Soon both make their way to the others. Tsukishima is the first to notice them. 
Both captains were extremely mad. 
"It is already nightfall and you two decide to just disappear! Where the hell have you two been!?"  
After a long chastise from both Kuroo and Daichi and some hugs from Sugawara and the others, every member heads to the cabin. 
It is only at that moment, Kenma realizes he is holding a gold watch in his hand.   
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maiddegree71-blog · 5 years
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Highly Recommended: Pastry Murder Mysteries
Murder-as-entertainment was never my thing. Having spent a short chapter of my life working on a true-crime television show that resulted in daily calls to my mom to tell her I loved her, I’m not one to rush towards grisly Netflix docs or podcasts about someone’s favorite murders. But one afternoon while waiting in the checkout line at a grocery store, I noticed an ad on the conveyor belt divider for the newest book by Joanne Fluke, a New York Times bestselling author who apparently holds the much-coveted title of “Queen of Culinary Capers.”
The book was called Raspberry Danish Murder, a title that, given my tendency to request the dessert menu at the start of every restaurant meal I partake in, instantly caught my attention. As it turns out, Raspberry Danish Murder, which was released in February of this year, is the 22nd (!) book in an ongoing series surrounding a fictitious bakery owner/detective named Hannah Swensen. Each installment features a new murder for Hannah to solve, along with at least a dozen recipes for baked goods and (an occasional) savory dish, each mentioned somewhere in the story. The most accurate way to describe these books might be “cookbooks with smatterings of fiction woven in” — which is precisely why they’re my favorite guilty-pleasure reading material.
The protagonist, Hannah, is a red-headed 20- or 30-something (depending on how far along in the series you are) living in the fictional small town of Lake Eden, Minnesota. She lives with her giant orange cat, Moishe, is very close with her mother and sisters, and, despite being an innocent bakery owner, manages to find herself entangled in multiple murders each calendar year. Don’t be fooled by the seemingly macabre elements — they’re about as scary as Dr. Seuss stories, complete with a small-town setting that adds a dose of provincial charm. Hannah knows everyone in town by name (in addition to their favorite sweet treat), and her bakery, the Cookie Jar, acts as a community meeting place for Lake Eden’s locals. Murder might be what excites the town, but Swensen’s desserts are what unite it.
The Hannah Swensen series belongs to the “cozy mysteries” genre, books that downplay the graphic violence or overt noir often found in other mysteries. “The heart of why readers love cozies is they know what they are getting,” mystery writer Amanda Flower wrote in Publisher’s Weekly earlier this year. “The cozy lesson is an average person can make a difference. It doesn’t matter if the protagonist is a knitter, a librarian, or a gardener — that person can solve a murder.” (The genre also extends beyond books — Hallmark produced five made-for-television films based on Fluke’s series, with former soap star and The Biggest Loser host Alison Sweeney starring as Hannah.) Part of the appeal of the pastry murder mystery series is the element of reader interaction: Clues surrounding the murders are scattered throughout, a la Encyclopedia Brown. Plus, there’s no need to get sad when someone gets killed off because they were likely a minor character with an offensive personality trait. In fact, the prospect of Hannah burning her cookies stresses me out more than the criminal activity itself.
Hannah’s desserts, of course, are actually Fluke’s recipes, which, as she told the New York Times in 2017, come from her own kitchen experiments, her family’s recipe books, and from fans. The featured recipes often have nothing to do with the actual plot line of a book — for instance, a quick reference to deep-fried candy bars made during a visit to the county fair in Key Lime Pie Murder warrants the inclusion of “Ruby’s Deep-Fried Candy Bars” in the recipe index. (That said, some of the more recent books can have as many as 20 recipes, so I can appreciate the impossibility of each one being a critical story device.) And though I haven’t yet tried my hand at any of them, they have quite a healthy digital presence — they’re featured on literary food blogs like Mysterious Eats and appear on dedicated Pinterest boards.
From a reader’s (if not a cook’s) perspective, I’m a sucker for the little modifications or suggestions the “characters” (via Fluke) insert into their recipes — some are courtesy of Hannah, and others from supporting characters in the story. The secondary character notes get thrillingly specific: In the recipe for a fruit pastry from one of Hannah’s employees, Lisa, Fluke writes: “Since pineapple is Herb’s favorite fruit, I’m going to try it with pineapple jam next, if Florence can order it at the Red Owl. I’m pretty sure that Smucker’s makes it.” Herb is Lisa’s boyfriend, and the Red Owl is the town grocery store. How can you not admire such commitment to fictitious world-creation?
There’s no need to get sad when someone gets killed off — they were likely a minor character with an offensive personality trait.
It should go without saying, but these books are not literary masterpieces. Fluke jumps at any opportunity to drop a food reference: Hannah’s truck is described as “candy apple red,” and she wears sweaters emblazoned with phrases like, “Got Cookies?” Almost every character Hannah encounters, as minor as they may be, reveals a specific relationship to food; we learn that Reverend Bob Knudson has a soft spot for Red Devil’s Food Cake (haha), while Herb Beeseman, the town marshal, is partial to Hannah’s Molasses Crackles. Even Moishe can’t escape food comparisons: “Once his whole body was stretched taut, he began to quiver like the proverbial bowl full of Jell-O.”
For the blood and guts-averse like me, it’s a blessing that the writing is straightforward and avoids gory details. Aside from (maybe) Hannah, there’s no risk of attachment to characters. Even the “good” characters are written with as much depth as a kiddie pool. Frustratingly, our heroine tends to put herself down for superficial, sexist reasons; i.e. her weight and fears of becoming a “spinster” at 30 (eye roll), though she ultimately shrugs off her insecurities in favor of consuming the baked goods she holds so dear. The food always wins in the end, which makes it marginally more tolerable, but Joanne, let’s cut this archaic nonsense moving forward, yeah?
That said, food is unquestionably the main character — the people are simply the vessels through which it’s presented and served to the reader. I find the often clunky, contrived food references to be one of the series’ most endearing qualities. “Their bakery and coffee shop, the Cookie Jar, was as empty as one of Hannah’s cream puffs before it was filled with vanilla custard,” Fluke writes in Peach Cobbler Murder. How much more delightful would life be if we started speaking in pastry-centric similes? And that’s to say nothing of the quirky wordplay, which Fluke uses to comedic effect just in case the docile nature of the books wasn’t obvious enough. In fact, puns abound throughout the cozy mystery genre at large, as evidenced by titles like: Till Death Do Us Tart; Another One Bites The Crust; Butter Safe Than Sorry: A Pennsylvania Dutch Mystery; and one that speaks to recent trends called Purrder She Wrote: A Cat Cafe Mystery.
The true beauty of these stories lies within their celebrations of pastry and sugar and excess, which is so enjoyable to read about because our own daily routines don’t typically include consuming four slices of carrot cake for breakfast. It’s harmless voyeurism at its best, too, because while the confection-laced content is entirely imaginary, it’s also entirely relatable and enviable for sugar fiends like me. With all of the rules, disappointments, and curveballs daily life throws at us, it’s comforting to escape to a world where even muffins outshine murders — and the answer to “whodunit” can be solved, easily, by a baker who just happens to be an accidental gumshoe.
Brittany Ross is a freelance writer based in​ New York City. Sarah Tanat-Jones is a UK-based illustrator with a love of drawing with Indian ink. Editors: Daniela Galarza and Erin DeJesus
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Source: https://www.eater.com/2018/10/9/17934884/hannah-swensen-detective-series-joanne-fluke-murder-mystery-books
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