#sometimesIwritetlou

[sometimesiwritethingsilike]

For the person that requested a mini-fic of Joel feeding his family. Once again I'm incapable of sticking to a short format 😊

Featuring: softness, cooking, some Joel whump, the Dynamic Duo of Ellie and Tommy, cuddling, Joel being taken care of, and a Miller Williams sandwich.

— — —

“Go on, get some rest. I got ‘em.” 

Tommy mumbles something but he’s already laying down, following Joel’s guiding hand on his shoulder. Ellie grabs a blanket and drapes it over Tommy. Joel thanks her with a kiss on her head and then he’s off to the kitchen. Ellie lingers, touching the pen in her pocket, wondering if she has enough time to draw something on Tommy before Joel notices she didn't follow him—

“Ellie.” 

Ellie rolls her eyes and leaves Tommy to sleep, going to the kitchen where Joel has strapped the twins into their high chairs. 

“You got x-ray vision old man?” 

“Yeah. Comes with bein’ a parent,” Joel gives her a conspiratory grin and nods towards a drawer, “‘sides, Maria’s got some permanent markers in there.” 

Ellie giggles. She watches Joel feed the twins, hands steady and gentle with each spoonful. 

“You wanna help?” 

Ellie steps up, trepidation humming in her chest. She’s never had cousins and she doesn’t want to fuck it up. But she copies Joel’s every move and soon Leon is happily eating from the spoon she lifts to his mouth. 

— — —

Ellie watches Joel cook, her notebook spread out on one corner of the kitchen island she and Joel built together. He’s making chicken, quinoa, and green onion croquettes, shaping them into fat ovals by hand. As she brainstorms ideas for the school science fair, she idly traces the J.M. and E.W.M. she and Joel carved on the butcher block prior to sealing the wood.  She loves evenings like these, where they can both do their thing in close proximity, sharing each other’s presence. 

There’s a series of knocks at the door; two quick raps followed by a long one. Tommy strolls into the kitchen seconds later, dropping a kiss on Ellie’s head in greeting. Most of the time he stops by a few minutes before dinner just to mess with Joel — he’ll flick the lights, untie Joel’s apron, slide the spice jars just a few inches out of reach. Today he has eyes only for the freshly fried croquettes.

“Smells good hermano. Gimme a taste?” 

Joel breaks a piece off one croquette and pops it into Tommy’s mouth. Ellie laughs, curious, amused, 

“Gotta get fed like a baby Tommy?”

Tommy just grins at her, not the least bit embarrassed. “No need to be a jealous jelly just cause I got to try some and you didn’t.” 

Ellie deliberately reaches over and plucks a croquette off the drying rack and stuffs it into her mouth. Tommy laughs. 

“Alright, go wash up you two,” Joel interrupts, turning to fry up the last of the food, “Maria’ll by soon and we can eat.” 

Tommy makes sure to lean towards Joel’s good ear before he loudly says, “Yes chef!”  

— — —

The thing is, maybe Ellie is a little jealous. She watches Joel feed Tommy and vice versa a few more times over the following weeks. Neither man makes a big deal out of it and she infers that the action has nothing to do with age or ability but everything to do with familiarity, intimacy, love. Culture too, she knows, from subtly questioning Maria. And, she reasons, the five years between them would’ve made Joel old enough to help feed Tommy as a toddler. Still, she can’t help but feel a little left out. 

But as amazing as Joel is, he’s not a mind reader. So if she wants in on this particular Miller custom, she’s going to have to ask for it. 

She works up the courage on a warm Saturday afternoon when Joel is making her favorite — empanadas. She doesn’t even pretend to read her book, joining in on the preparation instead, which never fails to make Joel smile. She waits until he’s fried the second batch and the first has cooled and drained enough to be ready. Then she nudges him, looks up at him, and borrows Tommy’s words, 

“Give me a taste?” 

Joel’s eyes are suspiciously shiny as he breaks a piece off an empanada and feeds it to her. 

— — —

It becomes almost unconscious as the days and weeks go by. Ellie and Tommy turn it into a competition, where they encourage Joel to throw bits of food up into the air so they can catch it in their mouths. Joel resists at first, warning them they’re gonna choke, but he gives in to their combined pressure. 

There’s a point too, when Ellie is helping Tommy in his garden, that she asks him for a taste of the fresh grape tomatoes they’ve just picked and rinsed. Tommy obliges with the same awestruck look Joel had the first time and Ellie calls him dramatic as she wraps him in a hug. 

— — —

Ellie wakes to the sound of the shower running, which wouldn’t be an issue if it wasn’t two in the morning. She’s up and out of bed in an instant, warning bells going off in her head. Light spills out from under the bathroom door, bright in the dark hallway. She knocks on the door. 

“Joel?”

No response. She gives it a couple of seconds before she opens the door only to be greeted by thick, warm steam. Joel’s sitting on the edge of the tub, massaging the sides of his head along his sinuses. His hands are shaking. 

Ellie does her best to swallow her worry. 

“It’s a little early for a sauna experience isn’t it?” 

Joel finally notices her. He looks tired and scared. Ellie immediately closes the space between them and puts her hands on his shoulders, making sure he really is present and seeing her before she moves them up to cradle his cheeks. He’s warm, even more than could be explained by sitting in the small bathroom with the hot water running. 

A flu’s been going around Jackson, taking people down left and right. It seems like it finally caught up to Joel. Ellie winces, guilt sour in her stomach — she’d had it last week, had she given it to him?  

“’M alright baby girl. Go back to bed.” 

Joel had taken care of her day and night, made her his mom’s caldo de pollo, a delicious soup that had been the only thing she’d been able to stomach. Like hell is she leaving him to his own devices now. 

“You’re way too smart to think I’m just leaving you like this.”

“Ellie—”

“I’ll be right back okay?” 

And before he can argue any further, she plants a kiss on his forehead and rushes out of the bathroom. 

Getting Tommy is easy. Since becoming a father he's been a light sleeper and he answers his door well before Ellie thinks to use her spare key to go inside and wake him. He follows her back to her and Joel’s place, getting ahead of her on the stairs due to his longer stride. He gets Joel up with some fuss and Ellie leaves them to it when Tommy announces Joel’s damp pajamas have to go. 

Ellie heads back downstairs and beelines straight to the fridge. Thankfully, there’s still some caldo left. She pours the soup into a saucepan and starts heating it on the stove. 

Tommy comes downstairs about fifteen minutes later, exasperation and sadness on his face. For a moment it looks like he's debating what to tell her but a fierce glare from her gets him to spill the full story. How Joel had been feeling off the last couple of days (which they both know is likely an underestimation) and how he'd woken in the middle of the night feeling so horribly congested he’d thought he’d lost his hearing entirely.

Ellie wonders how long he sat there feeling terrified and finds her hands curling into fists. Anger is easier to hold onto than heartbreak. 

“Why couldn’t he just say he was feeling like shit?” She asks. 

“It’s got nothin’ to do with us, Ellie.” Tommy answers, cutting through to what she really wants to know in that way she always finds annoying, “He’s had to carry a lot on his shoulders. A lot to swallow up and go through alone. Long before you came along and before I was old enough to notice. It ain’t fair to any of us, him included, but we can help him see there’s a better way of doing things now.”

Ellie takes this in. It makes sense, but she doesn't have to like it.

“So are you saving your lecture for when he gets better? Cause I have a bunch of things I want to add.”

“Oh yeah, he’s in for a good one, don’t you worry. I’m gonna use his full name too, just like our mama used to.” 

Tommy pulls her into a hug and Ellie squeezes tight, hoping it gets across how desperately grateful she is he’s there and taking care of Joel isn't all on her. Tommy drops a kiss on her head. 

They go back upstairs, Ellie carrying Joel’s favorite soup mug with the hot caldo and Tommy holding a glass of orange juice. 

Joel is in his bed, hair fluffy from running a towel through it. To Ellie’s relief, he’s entirely alert and looking much better. Good enough to at least appear sheepish, if not a little embarrassed at what he no doubt thinks is excessive fussing on their part. 

“Alright, you got two choices now — caldo or OJ.” 

“And I don’t mind spoon feeding you,” Ellie adds, squaring up next to Tommy, “I have plenty of practice.”

Joel’s eyes narrow, “Since when’d you two get so chummy?”

“Carin’ for the same idiot brings people together like you wouldn’t believe.”

Joel realizes he’s fighting a losing battle. “Fine. Gimme the soup.” 

Ellie passes over the mug. Joel makes it through most of it before he holds it back out to her, too tired to continue. Ellie sets it on the nightstand before flopping onto the bed to the right of him, making it clear she has no intention of leaving. Joel just rolls his eyes but he can’t hide his smile as he settles in around her like usual. 

Tommy turns off the lamp but he makes no move to leave. Instead, he pushes at Joel's shoulder. 

“Scoot over.”

“Tommy, what the hell—”

Tommy simply makes space for himself on Joel’s left while Ellie tries to muffle her laughter against the pillow. 

“Tommy you got someone to cuddle with. She’s probably waitin’ for you. In your own damn house.” 

“And miss this chance to be the big spoon? No way. Now hush up and enjoy your time in this wonderful Miller Williams sandwich.” 

Joel grumbles some more but he makes no move to escape them.

“Hey Tommy, why didn’t the sick person get the joke?” 

“Why?”

“Because it flu over his head.” 

Tommy chuckles. 

“Hey Ellie.”

“Yeah?”

“I too have a joke about the flu. But I hope you don’t get it.”  

Ellie and Tommy laugh together. Joel holds out for a few more seconds before he joins in. 

"Jesus you two are a goddamn menace."

"You wouldn't have it any other way, big brother."

Joel pulls both of them closer. "Damn straight."

Ellie can’t help herself, "Hey. I'm right here."

And that sets them all off again.

[sometimesiwritethingsilike]

this is what happens when I sit down to write some light content on Joel and Tommy — I end up starting a follow up to my angst fest of a fic instead.

[sometimesiwritethingsilike]

Chapter 6 of The Wolves is done and posted 🥰 Here's a preview:

-------

Sleeping bags in hand, Joel and Ellie walk through the hospital until they find the stairs that lead up to the building’s roof. 

They get a few weird looks from the Fireflies patrolling the hallways but no one attempts to stop them. Joel’s fierce glare certainly has nothing to do with them keeping their distance. 

Once they climb four floors, they reach the rooftop access door. Ellie tests the handle. 

“Locked.”

“Gimme some room.”

Ellie takes a few steps back and watches as Joel rams his shoulder against the door, snapping the lock and sending the heavy metal door crashing open. 

Ellie tries to whistle in appreciation but it comes out strangled. He has the grace not to tell her that if she hasn’t been able to figure out how to whistle by now, it’s probably a lost cause.

The rooftop is barren. Weeds grow out of the cracks in the concrete. 

Joel closes the door behind them. 

“You just wanted to show off.” 

“You got me. I live to impress fourteen year olds.” 

Ellie throws her sleeping bag down, “Fifteen actually.” 

Joel whirls around. His heart squeezes painfully.

“Since when?”

Ellie plops down on her bag, crossing her legs. She flicks loose gravel across the concrete. 

“A few days ago.”

Joel places his sleeping bag next to hers and sits down. 

“Why didn’t you say anythin’?” 

Ellie shrugs, “It’s not that big of a deal. The only one that celebrated it with me was Riley and she’s— it really doesn’t matter.”   

Joel chooses his words carefully, “You’ve mentioned her before.”

Ellie looks up at the night sky. 

“I bet I can find more constellations than you.” 

It’s obvious that Ellie isn’t ready to talk about whoever Riley was. Joel wants to push, but—

“That’s like me sayin’ I bet I’m taller.” 

“Well sorry I’m not a fucking giant like you. Besides, I still have time to grow.” 

“That’s why I keep insistin’ you eat more. And you know, it works better if you chew with your mouth closed.”

“Shut up, that’s a fucking lie.”

“Take your chances if you want. I’m not the one that’s gonna need a step stool to reach cabinets.”

Ellie shoves him. And then fails to stifle a yawn. 

“Seems like we’ll be able to sleep better out here.”

“‘M not even tired.”

“Yeah okay. Get in your bag. It’s still chilly out.” 

Joel turns to unzip his own sleeping bag when Ellie’s arms wrap around him, hugging him from behind. 

Warmth wells in Joel’s core. He tries to move to pull Ellie closer but she’s already drawing back. Embarrassment dusts her cheeks in red. 

She quickly slides into her sleeping bag and very consciously keeps her eyes trained on the stars above.

“Thanks. You know, for not leaving.”

Ellie has somehow mastered the art of punching him in the gut without lifting a finger. 

Joel swallows down everything but the promise he’ll keep repeating to her until she believes it. 

“Like I said, I ain’t goin’ anywhere.”

[sometimesiwritethingsilike]

Just a little snippet of something I'm working on.

---

On the road, her fingers itched for her knife or her gun, often both. Nowadays, her fingers itch for her drawing pencils and her sketch pad, anything to capture the scene before her; 

Joel, a soft smile on his face, scarred hands a steady, unfailing support for baby Jolene as she tries to stand on her own tiny legs. Baby Leon watches contentedly from Tommy’s lap, clapping clumsily, cheering his twin on. 

She still feels like an intruder, less so when she takes this observant role, committing every play of light and shadow to memory so she can bind it to paper in chiaroscuro later, given back to the brothers at some point, the only payment she can figure for being allowed into moments like this. 

Tommy nudges her gently, noticing she’s getting too caught up in the traps of her own head. Her leans over a bit, voice soft like he’s sharing a little secret, 

“I was a late walker y’know. But when I finally got it figured out, our mama said I took my first steps straight to Joel.”

[sometimesiwritethingsilike]

Hi!! I so treasure the fics you've posted about Ellie and Joel and food, they're beautiful little snippets!!

I've thought sometimes about a slightly different take on Joel and his heritage, which is that maybe Joel doesn't really know a lot about Chilean food/culture, but Tommy does? Maybe Joel worked after school to help support family, while Tommy was home with an older family member and got to practice his Spanish more or take an interest in the kitchen. He wishes he knew more about his culture, especially once he has Sarah, but where's the time?

Decades later Ellie is bursting with curiosity about these parts of his life and he wants to share with her, but he doesn't know where to even start, so he goes to Tommy for help.

Idk! I just think identity exploration as an adult can be kinda awkward and vulnerable, and I think it would be interesting to see Joel engage in that intimacy with his family.

Maybe this sparks fic interest for you, maybe it doesn't, but thanks for hearing me out 😆.

Hello! This is such an interesting take because I'm working on something that's the inverse haha as in Tommy, being the younger sibling, knows less than Joel and goes to him once his and Maria's babies are born because he wants to pass their culture on to them. This in indulgently based on my own experience with my younger brother, who struggles to speak Spanish and asks me for translate all the time lol.

HOWEVER, your take allows for Joel to be in the unique position to ask for help, which he's entirely allergic to doing, and of course there's the fantastic angst element of trying to recover pieces of who he is and having the opportunity to do so through a living family member, which is remarkable to have in the post-apocalypse world they live in. Joel being vulnerable is near and dear to me always. And Tommy as the family cook? Adorable, especially considering the softness that Gabriel Luna brought to the character when he smiles - and proudly tells Joel that Jackson has bacon lol.

I'll definitely put this on the drabble list, thank you for the ask - I will always hear an idea out, I'm trying to yes-and more things in my life 🤣 ❤️

[sometimesiwritethingsilike]

And so the Joel and Tommy angst continues. I should have this wrapped up in the next day or so, to launch a new series I've been outlining for a while. But do I follow up with a Joel and Ellie learning each other's love languages fic or a fic about Joel helping Tommy when he struggles with fatherhood (and reconciling their complicated childhood) after his babies are born? 🤔

[sometimesiwritethingsilike]

A little preview for chapter 5 of my werewolf Joel AU fic (may this actually inspire me to get my shit together to finish and post before the weekend is over)

———

Ellie’s lips quirk up into a hint of a smile. She opens the CD case and exhales a surprised laugh. 

“What?”

Ellie holds up a gray burner CD, the kind you could get Before in a stack of 50 at Circuit City. The only title on it says, ‘Ro’s Cool Jams Vol. 1.’

Joel can’t contain his groan, which spurs Ellie to surge forward to stick the CD into the player on the dash as quickly as possible. 

For a blessed moment, there’s silence, and just when Joel thinks they’ve dodged an auditory bullet,  

“Hey, hey… bye, bye, bye—” 

Godfuckingdammit. 

Ellie immediately picks up on the fact that he hates it so naturally she cranks the volume up. 

Seven songs into the CD and it’s clear that Ro was both a masochist and a sadist. They jump from NSYNC to Brittney Spears to Alicia Keys to Missy Elliot with no rhyme or reason. It’s driving his dormant musical sensibilities nuts.

It doesn’t help that he recognizes all of the songs only because of Sarah.  It’s almost laughable how easily the memories of her dancing along to music videos on MTV flash in his mind’s eye. 

“Verdict?” Ellie asks after another pop hit fades out. By her tone, it’s clear that her dislike is starting to outweigh the pleasure she gets from messing with him. 

Joel holds out a thumbs down. 

“Fine. I’ll be nice to you,” Ellie says, and ejects the CD, “Pick a number, two to twelve.”

“Lucky number seven.” 

Ellie takes said CD out and feeds it to the player.  

The distinct electric guitar riff to Guns N’ Roses’ Sweet Child O’ Mine plays. Joel perks up in his seat. Neither the song nor the genre are ones he would pick immediately if given the choice, but he has fond memories of Tommy during his punk rock phase, pulling an older Joel into his schemes to win albums and concert tickets off the radio.  

He isn’t aware he’s mouthing along to the lyrics until Ellie pushes the pause button and turns in her seat to stare at him.

“You know the words to this song.”

“Lyrics.”

“Sure, whatever. The point is, you know them.”

“Some. This was more Tommy’s speed.” 

Ellie files away that information before a slow smile spreads on her face. 

“Well, you did promise to sing for me.”

“I most definitely did not.”

“Yeah, you did.” 

Joel shuts his mouth. He knows how these types of arguments with a teenager go twice over. Tommy could be roughhoused into giving up but Sarah had been relentless. Nope. He ain’t doing it. 

Ellie clocks on to his strategy. Her brows furrow in thought. 

“I’ll wash our dishes for a week.”

“Make it two.”

“Ugh fine, you fucker. That’s extortion by the way.”

“Smuggler, remember?”

“Okay, contractor slash smuggler slash werewolf, get ready,” 

Ellie presses the play button followed by the skip back to start the song over. 

Joel tightens his grip around the steering wheel. It’s been a long, long time. 

He lets the intro and first verse pass by before he finally opens his mouth and joins in on the second verse. He can tell he’s rusty, voice catching in a way that grates on his ears and his pride. But he keeps going. By the second chorus he’s surprised he’s hit his stride, his baritone flowing out like a dam’s been broken inside him. The song isn’t vocally challenging so he finds himself adding his own flavor to it, straying away from Axl Rose’s rougher inflection and into his own smoother tone.

Ever observant, Ellie can tell he’s nervous so she avoids looking at him directly. But when he finds his voice she can’t help but stare, captivated.  

The song ends. The next track starts. Ellie’s grinning. 

All Joel can think about is the last time he sang for someone, to another little girl. 

“Dude, that was fucking a—”

And then Joel’s pulling the car over. He’s outside without fully registering the motions it took to get there and he’s pulling in great big breaths of winter air and he’s grabbing at his chest except Ellie is tugging hard on his wrist—

“Joel! Joel stop.”

He looks down and realizes his claws are out and he’s left decently deep scratches on the worn leather of his jacket. Shit. 

Joel takes a steadying breath, then another until the claws retract. The look on Ellie’s face is anguished and guilty. 

“Fuck I’m sorry. I won’t ever make you sing again, I swear.”

“It’s not that cariño, I’m— it’s stupid. It’s just, I haven’t done that in twenty years.” 

Realization dawns on Ellie’s face. 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.”

Joel takes another deep breath. Since they’re both already outside, he calls their pit stop. Fifteen minutes and a light lunch later, they’re back in the car. 

Ellie makes no move to touch the radio so he flicks it on himself. Ellie throws him a look but says nothing.  

Four songs later Livin’ on A Prayer comes on and Joel hums along. Ellie finally relaxes. 

“Verdict?”

Joel holds out a thumbs up.

[sometimesiwritethingsilike]

I love writing - so much so that I went crazy and moved across the country to pursue the screenwriter dream lol.

Come find me on A03 or feel free to look through my previews and mini-fics here, collected under #sometimesIwritetlou and #sometimesIwriteASTV, and feel free to send me asks, prompts, fic requests or whatever strikes your fancy!

🤟🏽

[sometimesiwritethingsilike]

Hello! I just read your fanfiction “The Wolves” from AO3 yesterday and it was amazing! To be honest my interest with TLOU was sparked again by the remastered version of the second game and by pure luck, if I may say, I found your fanfiction. You’re writing is really good and it was so enjoyable to read this, especially since you captured Ellie and Joel’s relationship perfectly. I can’t wait to see what happens next. Hope you have a wonderful day/night!😊

Hi! Thank you so much for reaching out with such a lovely compliment ❤️ I really enjoy writing their relationship and hope to get back to it soon. Thank you again and best of luck with the game - I had to lower the difficulty a bit because my nerves couldn’t take it hahaha.

[sometimesiwritethingsilike]

I love the way that you write the miller family dynamic… humbly requesting another millers-take-care-of-Joel-but-he-resists-bc-he’s-stubborn type fic?? thank you in advance 🙏🏻

Idk how I missed this and I'm embarrassed for sure but yes! I love that trope to death and will write a new mini fic for it soon. Thank you for messaging me 🙏🏽 ❤️

[sometimesiwritethingsilike]

hi

i don’t usually write on this hellsite but I read your fanfiction with The last of us and it was really good even if the AU might seem weird to some. I really enjoyed it. You’re a good writer but are any updates comin’ ? (no pressure ofc lmao) but I’m dying to know what happens. Hope you’re having a nice day.

Hi hi and I appreciate you coming on here lolll there will definitely be an update soon! I promise I won't abandon it :)

[sometimesiwritethingsilike]

My friend and I both read your "The Wolves" fanfiction yesterday and we absolutely adore it.🥹I particularly enjoy the way you write Joel and Ellie and the story twist involving the fireflies. (And love how Marlene is getting some kind of redemption.) Since English isn't my first language and I'm still studying it, I greatly like your writing style and your way with words. I will, for sure, read other fanfictions you have wrote( I even saw something with Marvel so I really need to check that one out too).

I wish you have a wonderful day, because you made yesterday better for me. ✨

Thank you so much for this absolutely lovely ask! And I'm so glad you have a friend who is also into fanfic! I know how special that can be ❤️ And yes, I have a Spider-Verse fic going on as well. Thank you again and I hope you also have the most wonderful of days 🥰

[sometimesiwritethingsilike]

Hiiiiii! I saw a couple of your mini fics that you did for people. Does that mean you take fic/drabble requests? And if so, is there a topic/genre you won't write? Thank you if you answer, love your writing <3 <3

Hello! I definitely take drabble and mini-fic requests :)

I know most of my TLOU stuff on here is fluffy and lighthearted but my AO3 has my longer fics with a darker tone that's closer to the HBO/game canon. So I am happy to consider writing either and anything in-between. I've played both games as well so anything from TLOU pt. 2 is fair game.

That said, I don't write reader inserts because it's just not my cup of tea and I don't write Joel/Ellie, which really shouldn't need an explanation as to why.

Thank you for the ask! ❤️

[sometimesiwritethingsilike]

And here we go! Once again I'm incapable of sticking to a short format 😊

Featuring: softness, cooking, some Joel whump, the Dynamic Duo of Ellie and Tommy, cuddling, Joel being taken care of, and a Miller Williams sandwich.

— — —

“Go on, get some rest. I got ‘em.” 

Tommy mumbles something but he’s already laying down, following Joel’s guiding hand on his shoulder. Ellie grabs a blanket and drapes it over Tommy. Joel thanks her with a kiss on her head and then he’s off to the kitchen. Ellie lingers, touching the pen in her pocket wondering if she has enough time to draw something on Tommy before Joel notices she didn't follow him—

“Ellie.” 

Ellie rolls her eyes and leaves Tommy to sleep, going to the kitchen where Joel has strapped the twins into their high chairs. 

“You got x-ray vision old man?” 

“Yeah. Comes with bein’ a parent,” Joel gives her a conspiratory grin and nods towards a drawer, “‘sides, Maria’s got some permanent markers in there.” 

Ellie giggles. She watches Joel feed the twins, hands steady and gentle with each spoonful. 

“You wanna help?” 

Ellie steps up, trepidation humming in her chest. She’s never had cousins and she doesn’t want to fuck it up. But she copies Joel’s every move and soon Leon is happily eating from the spoon she lifts to his mouth. 

— — —

Ellie watches Joel cook, her notebook spread out on one corner of the kitchen island she and Joel built together. He’s making chicken, quinoa, and green onion croquettes, shaping them into fat ovals by hand. As she brainstorms ideas for the school science fair, she idly traces the J.M. and E.W.M. she and Joel carved on the butcher block prior to sealing the wood.  She loves evenings like these, where they can both do their thing in close proximity, sharing each other’s presence. 

There’s a series of knocks at the door; two quick raps followed by a long one. Tommy strolls into the kitchen seconds later, dropping a kiss on Ellie’s head in greeting. Most of the time he stops by a few minutes before dinner just to mess with Joel — he’ll flick the lights, untie Joel’s apron, slide the spice jars just a few inches out of reach. Today he has eyes only for the freshly fried croquettes.

“Smells good hermano. Gimme a taste?” 

Joel breaks a piece off one croquette and pops it into Tommy’s mouth. Ellie laughs, curious, amused, 

“Gotta get fed like a baby Tommy?”

Tommy just grins at her, not the least bit embarrassed. “No need to be a jealous jelly just cause I got to try some and you didn’t.” 

Ellie deliberately reaches over and plucks a croquette off the drying rack and stuffs it into her mouth. Tommy laughs. 

“Alright, go wash up you two,” Joel interrupts, turning to fry up the last of the food, “Maria’ll by soon and we can eat.” 

Tommy makes sure to lean towards Joel’s good ear before he loudly says, “Yes chef!”  

— — —

The thing is, maybe Ellie is a little jealous. She watches Joel feed Tommy and vice versa a few more times over the following weeks. Neither man makes a big deal out of it and she infers that the action has nothing to do with age or ability but everything to do with familiarity, intimacy, love. Culture too, she knows, from subtly questioning Maria. And, she reasons, the five years between them would’ve made Joel old enough to help feed Tommy as a toddler. Still, she can’t help but feel a little left out. 

But as amazing as Joel is, he’s not a mind reader. So if she wants in on this particular Miller custom, she’s going to have to ask for it. 

She works up the courage on a warm Saturday afternoon when Joel is making her favorite — empanadas. She doesn’t even pretend to read her book, joining in on the preparation instead, which never fails to make Joel smile. She waits until he’s fried the second batch and the first has cooled and drained enough to be ready. Then she nudges him, looks up at him, and borrows Tommy’s words, 

“Give me a taste?” 

Joel’s eyes are suspiciously shiny as he breaks a piece off an empanada and feeds it to her. 

— — —

It becomes almost unconscious as the days and weeks go by. Ellie and Tommy turn it into a competition, where they encourage Joel to throw bits of food up into the air so they can catch it in their mouths. Joel resists at first, warning them they’re gonna choke, but he gives in to their combined pressure. 

There’s a point too, when Ellie is helping Tommy in his garden, that she asks him for a taste of the fresh grape tomatoes they’ve just picked and rinsed. Tommy obliges with the same awestruck look Joel had the first time and Ellie calls him dramatic as she wraps him in a hug. 

— — —

Ellie wakes to the sound of the shower running, which wouldn’t be an issue if it wasn’t two in the morning. She’s up and out of bed in an instant, warning bells going off in her head. Light spills out from under the bathroom door, bright in the dark hallway. She knocks on the door. 

“Joel?”

No response. She gives it a couple of seconds before she opens the door only to be greeted by thick, warm steam. Joel’s sitting on the edge of the tub, massaging the sides of his head along his sinuses. His hands are shaking. 

Ellie does her best to swallow her worry. 

“It’s a little early for a sauna experience isn’t it?” 

Joel finally notices her. He looks tired and scared. Ellie immediately closes the space between them and puts her hands on his shoulders, making sure he really is present and seeing her before she moves them up to cradle his cheeks. He’s warm, even more than could be explained by sitting in the small bathroom with the hot water running. 

A flu’s been going around Jackson, taking people down left and right. It seems like it finally caught up to Joel. Ellie winces, guilt sour in her stomach — she’d had it last week, had she given it to him?  

“’M alright baby girl. Go back to bed.” 

Joel had taken care of her day and night, made her his mom’s caldo de pollo, a delicious soup that had been the only thing she’d been able to stomach. Like hell is she leaving him to his own devices now. 

“You’re way too smart to think I’m just leaving you like this.”

“Ellie—”

“I’ll be right back okay?” 

And before he can argue any further, she plants a kiss on his forehead and rushes out of the bathroom. 

Getting Tommy is easy. Since becoming a father he's been a light sleeper and he answers his door well before Ellie thinks to use her spare key to go inside and wake him. He follows her back to her and Joel’s place, getting ahead of her on the stairs due to his longer stride. He gets Joel up with some fuss and Ellie leaves them to it when Tommy announces Joel’s damp pajamas have to go. 

Ellie heads back downstairs and beelines straight to the fridge. Thankfully, there’s still some caldo left. She pours the soup into a saucepan and starts heating it on the stove. 

Tommy comes downstairs about fifteen minutes later, exasperation and sadness on his face. For a moment it looks like he's debating what to tell her but a fierce glare from her gets him to spill the full story. How Joel had been feeling off the last couple of days (which they both know is likely an underestimation) and how he'd woken in the middle of the night feeling so horribly congested he’d thought he’d lost his hearing entirely. 

Ellie wonders how long he sat there feeling terrified and finds her hands curling into fists. Anger is easier to hold onto than heartbreak. 

“Why couldn’t he just say he was feeling like shit?” She asks. 

“It’s got nothin’ to do with us, Ellie.” Tommy answers, cutting through to what she really wants to know in that way she always finds annoying, “He’s had to carry a lot on his shoulders. A lot to swallow up and go through alone. Long before you came along and before I was old enough to notice. It ain’t fair to any of us, him included, but we can help him see there’s a better way of doing things now.”

Ellie takes this in. It makes sense, but she doesn't have to like it.

“So are you saving your lecture for when he gets better? Cause I have a bunch of things I want to add.”

“Oh yeah, he’s in for a good one, don’t you worry. I’m gonna use his full name too, just like our mama used to.” 

Tommy pulls her into a hug and Ellie squeezes tight, hoping it gets across how desperately grateful she is he’s there and taking care of Joel isn't all on her. Tommy drops a kiss on her head. 

They go back upstairs, Ellie carrying Joel’s favorite soup mug with the hot caldo and Tommy holding a glass of orange juice. 

Joel is in his bed, hair fluffy from running a towel through it. To Ellie’s relief, he’s entirely alert and looking much better. Good enough to at least appear sheepish, if not a little embarrassed at what he no doubt thinks is excessive fussing on their part. 

“Alright, you got two choices now — caldo or OJ.” 

“And I don’t mind spoon feeding you,” Ellie adds, squaring up next to Tommy, “I have plenty of practice.”

Joel’s eyes narrow, “Since when’d you two get so chummy?”

“Carin’ for the same idiot brings people together like you wouldn’t believe.”

Joel realizes he’s fighting a losing battle. “Fine. Gimme the soup.” 

Ellie passes over the mug. Joel makes it through most of it before he holds it back out to her, too tired to continue. Ellie sets it on the nightstand before flopping onto the bed to the right of him, making it clear she has no intention of leaving. Joel just rolls his eyes but he can’t hide his smile as he settles in around her like usual. 

Tommy turns off the lamp but he makes no move to leave. Instead, he pushes at Joel's shoulder. 

“Scoot over.”

“Tommy, what the hell—”

Tommy simply makes space for himself on Joel’s left while Ellie tries to muffle her laughter against the pillow. 

“Tommy you got someone to cuddle with. She’s probably waitin’ for you. In your own damn house.” 

“And miss this chance to be the big spoon? No way. Now hush up and enjoy your time in this wonderful Miller Williams sandwich.” 

Joel grumbles some more but he makes no move to escape them.

“Hey Tommy, why didn’t the sick person get the joke?” 

“Why?”

“Because it flu over his head.” 

Tommy chuckles. 

“Hey Ellie.”

“Yeah?”

“I too have a joke about the flu. But I hope you don’t get it.”  

Ellie and Tommy laugh together. Joel holds out for a few more seconds before he joins in. 

"Jesus you two are a goddamn menace."

"You wouldn't have it any other way, big brother."

Joel pulls both of them closer. "Damn straight."

Ellie can’t help herself, "Hey. I'm right here."

And that sets them all off again.

I read the mini fic you did and I loved that Joel got into cooking, my dad's the cook in my family so I appreciate that :) I was wondering if you could do another mini fic of Joel feeding the people he loves? I'm south american and a lot of our foods are meant to be eaten with our hands and I just remember going up to my dad while he was cooking and asking to try what he was making and he'd just break off a piece and feed it to me. I do the same with my family and my really close friends and idk if it's a Latino thing or what but it would be so cute for Joel to bring Ellie into that custom.

Broooo this is a fantastic idea and I'm instantly smitten. I will absolutely be getting to this because it's such a wonderful cultural custom that I've only seen with my Latinx and Indian friends (anyone that does this with their fam/friends lemme know!). The act of feeding the people you love is such an intimate act of caring and so soft and Joel would absolutely do this with Tommy and Ellie, consider it done!