#sometimes your experience and taylors arent the same
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I love watching people freak out about who they associated Taylor songs with/how they thought of them when they find out more about the actual song meaning and vibe, like. What, you had a love song in your life that’s now not so romantic anymore? You’ve never learned a song later in life wasn’t about what you thought it was and it changed your entire worldview? You must not have been an autistic millennial, that’s all my college years were (internet accessed, knowledge gained). You have no idea what my preteen autistic brain was doing with OG Fearless and Speak Now. I was ace/aegoromantic, autistic, and connecting things that should not have been connected. Come In With The Rain is one of my top five Taylor songs, and I used to attach it to my cousin. Now, I’m like, that’s not about a family member. But that association is still in my brain forever. I went through the Ours Realization™️. You need to learn to accept that your life and her’s aren’t the same, nobody experiences life the same, and you can still enjoy art that had nothing to do with you originally. You can still dance to Lover at your wedding. I can still sing Come In With The Rain about the fuckass cousin who ditched me in middle school for his friends. Knowing about her process and the song’s origin doesn’t remove or invalidate your own experience.
#im not being mean#im laughing in general not at you#tone indicator dont yell at me#i just keep seeing this#and am like guys have u not been through this before?#sometimes your experience and taylors arent the same#you can still enjoy the song#i can attach it to my life and know about what she meant#it doesnt cancel out#thats not how art works#so many songs from my youth i just made up shit and later was like what its not about that?? and it flipped my universe around#learning lover might not have been pure romance isnt the wildest thing ive seen#‘maybe i shouldnt have connected this to them’ no babe connect away#if i have romance songs connected to family members you can have hoax connected to your ex or whatever
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5 Star Cinema Garden Grove
All Theatres Starlight Terrace Cinemas, Rancho Palos Verdes, CA Starlight Whittier Village, Whittier, CA Starlight Cinema City Theatres, Anaheim, CA Starlight West Grove Cinemas, Garden Grove, CA Starlight Triangle Square Cinemas, Costa Mesa, CA Starlight Dos Lagos 15, Corona, CA.
Reviews 14
ST
Steven Crow
Garden Grove features a number of movie theaters, but Starlight Cinemas always offers convenient show times and a great movie selection. Bring the whole family to this theater, where kiddos are welcomed with open arms.Patrons can park in a lot near Starlight Cinemas or take advantage of the generous street parking. Whatever you're in the mood for, Starlight Cinemas has.
All Theatres Starlight Terrace Cinemas, Rancho Palos Verdes, CA Starlight Whittier Village, Whittier, CA Starlight Cinema City Theatres, Anaheim, CA Starlight West Grove Cinemas, Garden Grove, CA Starlight Triangle Square Cinemas, Costa Mesa, CA Starlight Dos Lagos 15, Corona, CA.
Enjoy the latest movies at your local Regal Cinemas. Regal Garden Grove features stadium seating, digital projection, mobile tickets and more! Favorite place to go to the movies. Using the card is the best program. It really helps senior citizens. Everyone is always.
Garden Grove Cinema - Deals in Garden Grove, CA Groupon. Cinema deals in Garden Grove, CA: 50 to 90% off deals in Garden Grove. AMC DINE-IN Fullerton 20. AMC Anaheim GardenWalk 6. Active: 2019-11-22.
Please read this oneI don’t usually write reviews but the experience me and my wife had is unbelievable My wife was in a car wreck on 1-24-15 and hurt her back but still wanted to see a movie for Valentine’s day 2-14-15 so I got the tickets and went I asked the lady at the door if my wife could Just sit on bench until movie time and she got a bad attitude problem with me so I asked to see The manager she came out and I told her about the problem she seemed like she didnt care at all. But she finally let my wife sit then all we heard was laughing and giggling from them made my wife feel very bad and very uncomfortable we left and won’t be back ever.By the way me and my daughter usually go to the movies there at least once a week sometimes twice a week and have been going there for almost four years now and the guy’s that work there on the weekdays are great very kind and never any Problems at all.
BR
Brian Bergström
Was happy with the pricing of the movies here. First run movies at discounted prices. The theaters are small, but comfortable. I first saw a movie here in 1987 and it hasnt changed much, except the technology.What disappointed me were the lights that never turn off and when the movie starts nobody closes the doors (I went to the back and closed the doors myself, nothing I could do about the lights). How can one really enjoy a movie theater experience with lights in the ceiling shining down in your eyes.I came here for 3D, because ONLY the Dolby Digital 3D works for me, the crappy RealD 3D doesnt work nearly as well. Then as it turned out the movie I wanted to see was not being shown in 3D at all.I would go back again, but probably sit more towards the front away from the spotlights and open doors.
PA
Pat Butterfield
5 Star Cinema Garden Grove Ca
This place and staff has always given me a pleasurable experience and have gone on various days and times for the last 5yrs Even going during regular hours/days but frequent the senior/family days & hours. Been there during peak hrs & always someone at doors ready to go in and clean soon as a movie is over. Cant go to the Regals or Edwards and the like for top movies popcorn and drinks for the same price or less than what others charge just to get in the doors! Too bad Steve Crow had a bad experience, I have never seen or heard of such a thing all the times Ive gone. Im even greeted & asked where my friend is when I go alone. And acknowledged when Ive not been seen for awhile! Local theaters always best over commercial places anytime!
A
A Private User
I see a lot of people complaining about the employees and the seats and screens. Download blackberry handheld software for 8520. I have never had a problem with any of the employees. They arent really friendly, but have never been rude to me or any of my kids. Sure it s small, but for the value, worth it for me. We could never afford to see a movie otherwise. If you get their saver card, you get a free ticket for every four you buy, even on family night. Plus you get free popcorn and free refills on popcorn and soda. Tip..go early in family nights, you will be in line for a bit, and it will fill up.
WE
Wesley To
Dont be fooled by the price and Starlight brand. This place has almost nothing else in common with other Starlights. No reserved seating. No seats in the center (aisle runs down the middle). Small, dim screen. But the other Starlights (Triangle Square in Costa Mesa, Cinema City in Anaheim) have identical pricing and feature reserved seating, center seats, and larger screens, as well as having more total screens, more seats per screen, and nicer aesthetics. Go to those ones if possible. Those actually deserve the '4 Star' nomenclature.
A
A Private User
5 Star Theater Garden Grove
Hate it. We came to watch sherlock holmes and half way through my lady went to use the restrooms and got kicked out cause the management said she was trying to jump movies. she had the ticket stub and she wasnt trying to jump movie.. she waited out side in the cold. while i was waiting for her to return. finally i went out side to look for her and i was very shocked to find out what had happened.. Never again will we ever come here again. Go some where else management seemed racist..
YA
Yaseng Yann
I go to this theater almost exclusively esp so that we could go bowling before or after a movie: $7 refillable (one time before the movie ends) popcorn, clean theater, good sound system, friendly staff. Prices are catching up to that of UA and Regency..$9/adult is more than at some other places; so we are pulling the reins a tad. Maybe it pays to be a frequent movie pass goer..then again, we should head out to the state parks and outdoors more. Head out and shape up, America!
A
A Private User
i think this is a fantastic bargain to go to the movies in these most difficult of times. the popcorn is great ..the seating is good and the value is fabulous. we try to make it every Tuesday. i found the employees to be professional and courtesy so i suppose everyone has there opinion and mine is that keep the price low and the audiences will come. thanks.
JO
John Taylor
The movie industry is my passion. When I was a teen I loved going to the cinema. This place is comfy, small and a great place to take out your girlfriend. However last time my girlfriend and I went everything was just dirty. Spit bubble gums, popcorn and smelly restrooms. Not a romantic experience at all. I hope they take some actions!
LE
Lexi Buelna
Is this as fancy as Bella Terra? No. But as far as a discount theater is concerned, this is a definite 5 star theater! Everyone has been nothing but polite and friendly. Only 4 movies at a time but, for the price, im willing to wait a while until they change the options! And any theater with $1 hot dogs is fine by me.
JA
JAN VARELA
Awesome new movies. Get the frequent movie goer pass and get free movies and popcorn. CLEAN place and if you go to their site print a FREE popcorn and upgrade to large popcorn & Large drink with refills for $9.00Tuesday & Thursday $4.00 all day.everyday $5.00 until after either 4 or 5:00pm then its $6.00
BR Abs marvel connector types.
Brandon Kheang
Absolutely love this theater, $6 Tuesday, Thursdays, and Sundays every week are an excellent value. Though it may not be as large as the bigger theaters, the movie viewing experience is still very enjoyable, especially given the price. The employees are friendly and the popcorn is delicious
Garden Grove 5 Star Cinema
KA
Karen Taylor
We just moved to the area and we found this theater 'WONDERFUL' and it has a family environment in our neighborhood.The prices are good all doing the week and the popcorn is good and very affordable for us. The staff helpful. We love it there.Thanks,Resident of Buena ParkKaren
AL
Alina Ramirez
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Considering that it is a 4 screen theater with regular old school seating, it is nice. The floors arent sticky, the seats arent broken, the restrooms are clean and most importantly..very nice staff. Great place to take my family especially since we are on a very tight budget.
5 Star Cinema Garden Grove
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To End The Year, A Mini-Magpie With A Mini Mystery.
Has mega-fraudster Craig Gore skipped Australia? And if so, why hasnt this been reported in the media especially since he is supposed to have made a midnight flit the very day after a judge refused to allow him to leave? In other matters, one has to admit that the Townsville Bulletin is consistent it has ended the year as it started, continuing its weekly Olympic-standard shambles. And Mongrel the Barrister has left us lawyer Mark Donnelly, the man who inspired a much loved Magpie character has passed away. and our final visit to Trumpistan for 2018. But first Its hard to keep a good man down, and our fav toonist Bentley is nothing if not a good man. Even in the holiday season, he casts his jaundiced eye over the news, and brings us a different and rib-tickling perspective. This week, he was much taken as most of us were with the drone drama at Gatwick Airport in the UK. A professional drone was reported in the airports approach and departure air space, and thousands of travellers were stuck when the whole shebang was shut down for a couple of days while the wallopers tried to go hi-tech and trace the source of the bastardry. Its not fully sorted yet, but Bentley thinks the drone may have already met its fate.
Why Arent All The Gore-y Details Available?
Will ye no come back agin, laddie? Now to our mini-mystery. On December 19, this report appeared in the Courier Mail. Judge denies disgraced former rich-lister Craig Gore request to travel overseas Vanessa Marsh, The Courier-Mail December 20, 2018 2:21pm A DISGRACED former rich-lister accused of ripping off almost $800,000 from investors has broken down in court after a judge refused his request to leave the country to visit family. Lawyers for alleged fraudster Craig Gore today launched an application in the Queensland District Court, seeking for the former businessmans bail conditions to be altered to allow him to travel to Sweden to visit his wife and children. But Judge Paul Smith denied the request, saying Gore faced a long time in prison if convicted and there was a real risk he would not return to Australia to face trial. Gore is facing 12 charges of fraud over allegations he swindled about $800,000 from self-managed super fund investors in 2013-14. He also faces three charges of managing companies while disqualified. Now that seems pretty definitive and eminently sensible. But The Magpie was informed two days later, by a regular contact and mate who has always been on the money in the past, that Gore went back to court the next day on another application, and had his passport returned so he could be with his family in Sweden at Christmas. He was to return in three months to face trial and possibility of a lengthy striped suntan. The Pies contact says Gore was on a flight out of Brisbane that night at 11pm, accompanied by a lawyer (that was apparently part of the arrangement) who will return with certain paperwork. Gore will be expected to make his own way back to face his fate in March. Yeah, right. Now all that is as it may be, BUT THIS SPECTACULAR REVERSAL OF A JUDGES IMPLACABLE DECISION HAS BEEN NEITHER EXPLAINED OR APPEARED IN THE MEDIA. Well, not that The Magpie can find, after days of searching to verify. If it is true, there will be a hell of a lot of very pissed off people Gores victims and the tireless investigators who nailed him who know just how long are the odds that we will ever see this shyster again. Shades of Skase!! Perhaps we will never know how this came about if it did come about because there will be a lofty judicial silence of unaccountability if he is a no show but surely the second hearing was an open court? Hard to fathom why it wasnt reported. Mongrel The Barrister Is No More The Magpies good mate Mark Sludge Donnelly the man who partially inspired the popular Magpie character Mongrel the Barrister, died in his family home in Cairns last weekend. It is fair to say that Mark was my best mate in the halcyon days of Portraits Bar in the Exchange Hotel all through the Noughties, the years when I was reporting court matters for the Bulletin. We were part of a memorable and disparate group, the bar crowded with our marvellously mixed group every Thursday, Friday and sometimes Saturday nights. (The fondly remembered Portraits became Poseurs Bar in the newspaper column and then in this blog.) Mark was universally known as Sludge, which he happily answered to, but never fully explained, even to me, its origins apparently it had something to do with a memorable comment from a lecturer or senior teacher suggesting Marks behaviour at that time some comparable to something from the bottom of a pond. Sludge was one of the wittiest people Ive known, and his memory was nothing short of astounding, not just for quoting legal precedents but in all things, particularly pop music. He always commandeered the music machine at parties, and was a pretty good DJ. He also had an eye for a well turned ankle, and his way of getting ladies to talk about themselves endeared him to more than one. Like many a member of the Portraits push, Mark liked a drink, and some believed he was a bit too enthusiastic in this direction. But I would say that rather than having a battle with the bottle, he just had frequent skirmishes with it, as we all did and any excess rarely affected his work at the other more sedate bar, where he often shone. Mark left Townsville when his father died, to live with his mother in the family home in Cairns. He didnt practice in Cairns, and went into virtual retirement, which was plagued by ill health for some time. He returned to Townsville annually for his birthday, but I lost touch in the past few years, for which I feel a bit miserable now. Sludge is now undoubtedly arguing the finer points about the Laws of Entry with St Peter for that is certainly where this witty, soft-hearted old friend of mine now is because we all know God loves a larrikin. Mark was 62. They Really Dont Understand Language at The Astonisher, Do They? And they even get the wrong WORD for a headlines. Even when theyre trying to make a pun, which kinda depends on the right word, yes? But we got a headline quoting some bizoid saying Townsville is bracing for a great 2018. Bracing for? Ahem. Youve managed to say EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what you meant. Heres the dictionary definition of bracing. verb[withobject] prepare (someone or oneself) forsomethingdifficult or unpleasant:both stations arebracingthemselvesforjoblosses|policeare braced fora trafficnightmare. So although this paper goes through life like a bouncing Hari Krishna whos visited the medicine cabinet once too often, giving us totally unquestioning, unexamined glop about our economy (usually from someone with a vested interest), it seem to have inadvertently hit on the truth here. However, the most tedious aspect of the paper of late is the dreary attempts at humour in headlines, particularly about crime, a subject no one in Townsville with the exception of you folks in Flinders Street, finds the least bit funny. AND EVEN THEN, LANGUAGE FAILS YOU let alone a sharp sense of humour.Take this major front page fail on Thursday.
Swindler? My dear headline writer, stay with me on this and read slowly, feel free to move your lips as you must. Now lets see, a swindler is someone who fiddles some unsuspecting victim out of something. That person would be called a fiddler, and if hidden in a ceiling, could be described as ta da a Fiddler In The Roof. You see, this would then coincide with the hit musical of the same name oh, how we would have all fallen about, clutching our sides in mirth, and holding your superior wit in such esteem!!! But swindler? Now weve just got a headache from smacking our foreheads yet again. And this one in simply NOT TRUE. This online
The actual number of people who said (or may have said, who knows, its probably a fiddled fantasy anyway) was 55% of the 700 or so people who responded to a totally uncontrolled survey. If there area 220,000 potential readers (ha! you wish) in the circulation area, the percentage is not even .5 of one percent. But we all know that the on-line edition is sloppy, so the paper itself will temper the outlandish claims, wont it? Errr no.
This is simply lying, and treating people like morons. And still they wonder But barely have we swallowed our anger before we start scratching our heads over weird genuinely weird stories like this, which would suggest that English isnt TEL boss Patricia OCallaghans first language, or she was suffering mild sunstroke when she was penned the media release from which the story was transcribed.
This story is selective twaddle certainly straight off an unedited media release from the Dudley Do Nothings, meaningless twaddle in which Ms OCallaghan specialises. It has often been said of her that she has the gift of the gab, and aint that the truth, just about all of what she has to say, in The Pies experience, is just that meaningless gabble that sounds good until it is more thoughtfully examined. Like this: The Museum of Underwater Art, located within the heart of The Great Barrier Reef, is a proposal based on the works of international sculpture and underwater artist Jason deCaires Taylor. Whats that bit located in the heart of the Great Barrier Reef? Has there been a Krakatoa-like geographic shift we havent noticed? The Underwater Museum, one of several planned along the coast, will be, at last report, just of Maggy Island, the GBR is a at least an hour or more away by fast cat . But in it goes to the story, with a newbie cub reporter just churning out this PR bumf. But wait, theres more. We then get this prize piece of meaningless gabble from the top executive charged with attracting and promoting tourism to Townsville: Its a project that is going to enhance the Great Barrier Reef experience and also educate visitors on how we manage and live with the reef everyday Ms OCallaghan said. That is absolute poppycock that is totally meaningless. And We? Bloody WE? FFS, girl, get a bloody grip. Insulting, uppity tripe from Ms OCallaghan and lazy, presumably unsupervised reporting (read: select all, copy and paste) by a very uncurious junior reporter (read: stenographer). Really, a monkey using scrabble board wouldve made more sense. The clusterfuck continues no wonder were so deep in the shit. Other matters As if golf didnt already have enough hazards.
Words of Wisdom From Two Funny Men
Frankie Boyle The cleverest quote of the week comes from the Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle in the Guardian. But first, his preamble touched a chord for The Magpie, who can vouch for it when Mr Boyle writes: The plight of the satirist, such as it is, is a compulsion to look at the grimmest, most important thing they can think of, and then for reasons that probably wouldnt survive a really good therapist, try to make it funny. To try to address the iniquities of their society, the satirist must manufacture some hope that what theyre doing might make a difference, then type it all up and send it off somewhere before they remember that it never does. Looking back over the events of this year is a bit like holding a doll for a therapist and pointing to where the bad man hurt you. Mr Boyles point is a universal one, which can be shared by Townsvilleans looking back over the past shambolic year. But his prize quote is so subtle, that you may have to think about for a while The Pie roared after a few seconds. The murder ofJamal Khashoggiby Saudi Arabia is another very difficult subject to find the lighter side of, unless someone in the Ecuadorean embassy has clipped the story out and stuck it to the fridge. (Sigh) Dear Mystified of Mysterton, it means that the Ecuadoreans might be giving their Wikileaks guest Julian Assange a hint.
Dave Barry The other funnyman worth a quote is the inimitable Dave Barry , the American columnist who talks about Florida the way The Magpie talks about Townsville only he is far funnier, proof being that The Magpie pinches more of his lines (many) than he does of The Magpies (none). This was his challenge to a graduating class, but it can just as well apply to the year 2019. How are you, Class, going to respond when the Clock-Radio of Challenge emits the Irritating Buzz of Opportunity? Are you going to roll over and hit the Snooze Button of Complacency? Or are you going to wake up and, after performing the Bodily Functions of Preparedness, boldly grasp the Toothbrush of Tomorrow? And no matter what you do in the coming year, make sure youre always politically correct, so no snowflakes will melt before your harsh words.
And So To This Week In Trumpistan First, compare Trump as Commander In Chief of real US soldiers, on his surprise visit to Iraq
Guess whos wondering if she packed the shampoo? with this.
And now to our final gallery of the year about the man Frankie Boyle described as this troll-doll King Lear, who looks like something youd pick off a baking tray after cooking pizza above it.
And Finally How The Hell ? The Pie has been occasionally upbraided for the use of naughty words in this blog well, one word in particular. He is aware that it can be confronting, but it is the other F word Frustration that compels him to sometimes resort to other for emphasis. Anyway, so what, if its good enough for Sesame Street, its good enough for The Pie. .. So that was the year that was, and what a rip-snorter we have coming up. Turns out this edition wasnt so mini after all. Comments run throughout the holiday break 24/7, so you dont have to wait to have your say. And the New Year will look even rosier for the old bird if you think the Nest is worth a small donation to keep it neat and tidy. The how to donate button is below. HAPPY NEW YEAR, YALL. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/to-end-the-year-a-mini-magpie-with-a-mini-mystery/
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6 Guys Youll End Up Dating When Youve Been Single For Too Long
I’m writing this post from my bed.
I’m un-showered, even though I came home from CrossFit three hours ago.
I’m slugging back red wine and crushing a party size-serving of chips and salsa.
I turned my phone on silent an hour ago, just so I would stop checking to see if the guy I like has responded to the text I sent earlier.
Needless to say, I dont think you get much more single than this.
There are nights when I rejoice in it, and there are nights when I sulk in it.
Tonight, its the latter.
But as I sit here, elbow-deep in a bag of Tostitos and knuckles clenched around a topped-off glass of wine, I cant help but be grateful for this single life Ive been living for almost a year now.
Its an unexpected and for me unwanted learning experience.
I say its “unwanted” because Im the relationship type.
Ive never had a one-night stand (nor will I ever).
I like commitment.
Dating gives me anxiety because I never know what to say or do.
Should I text him first? Will he text me?
Whats the right emoji to use? Should I even use an emoji?
Let me screenshot this and send it to all my friends to see if its okay.
What should I wear?
Unwanted or not, Im on one hell of a self-learning curve.
I think its so important for every woman to have this bittersweet journey, especially in her20s.
Im learning when to keep my guard up and when to let it come crashing down.
Im learning how to be patient.
I’m learning what I like and what I dont.
Im learning so much about myself because Im finding time for myself.
Im trying new things.
I’ve joined CrossFit and hot yoga, and I quit some unhealthy habits that were crippling my self-esteem.
Ive tried tons of new restaurants completely free, thanks to first dates.
But besides learning about myself, Im learning a lot about the dating pool.
Let me tell you this: When they say there are plenty of fish in the sea, it’s true.
But the ones you want to catch are really, really hard to find. They’re borderline nonexistent.
Ive met tons of guys ranging in age, profession, personality, height, hobbies, etc.
However, after dozens and dozens of dates and hundreds of right swipes that have amounted to nothing, Ive been able to put a label on just about every single one.
Ive boiled them down to six main categories:
1. The Ex
When one relationship ends, its so easy to look back at a previous ex and question why that relationship didnt work out either.
Call it delusion or curiosity, but it always seems like a logical first step when youre single.
So, if youre both single, why not give it another whirl?
Its comfortable. Its fun.
Its your opportunity to double-check hes really not the one who got away.
When my high school sweetheart found out that my recent ex and I had ended things, he came back into my life the same way he left it: like a tornado, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.
Without getting into details for his sake (and his girlfriends, whoops), the verdict was we broke up for a reason.
Thats always a validating feeling.
In the words of my inner spirit animal, Taylor Swift, we are never, ever getting back together. Like, ever.
But hey, like I said, it cant hurt to double check.
2. The Non-Committal Charmer
Hell tell you youre exclusive, but he won’t ever make you his girlfriend.
He’ll monopolize your free time to ensure you dont spend time with anyone else, but he wont commit.
Youll never meet his friends or family, so dont even try.
He is in complete control of the relationship because you let him be.
His charm, wit and personality compel you to stay.
His goal is to perpetually keep your relationship in a hostage situation.
You want to see other people, but you dont want to put what you have at risk because its comfortable and fun.
Youre convinced that at some point, hell come to his senses.
He wont.
So, youre going to want to quit while you’re ahead. Dont waste any time.
3. The Egotistical PrickWho Plays On Your Heartstrings
Is it rough to call these people sociopaths?
Theyll do everything they can to make you like them in a short period of time.
Theyll cook you your favorite dinner, buy you nice wine and compliment you on the weird things you wish people would notice.
They make it so easy to let your guard down.
Then, one day, theyll just stop talking to you.
Theyll give you some bullsh*t excuse like theyre just “not ready for a relationship right now, or they really like you, and “it scares” them.
No, you just needed an ego trip. Or, you needed to get laid.
Or both.Whatever.
These types of guys are the reason all women are a little hesitant, confused, broken and yes crazy.
There are plenty of them out there.
4. The Former Frat Guy Who Just Cant Let Go Of College
In my opinion, these guys are the absolute worst.
This is mainly because they dont even realize theyre being the absolute worst. The naivety isnt at all charming.
He doesnt have to be a frat guy. Hes just the guy who loves college.
He cant grow up.
He loves his boys and beer pong more than he loves his job. He knows more about chugging beers than investing in a 401(k).
He has no idea how to start or maintain a conversation. His career path is questionable.
He most likely has the life goal of being a stay-at-home dad.
Thats what she said jokes are far too common, and he finds them far too funny.
While I personally havent gone on a single date with one of these guys, they exist in the masses.
So good luck, female young professionalsof America who thought men matured after college.
AsI say to my dad, “Im looking for the smartest idiot over 25.”
5. The One Youre Just Not That Into
These, for me, are the most common.
Then again, I think they’re common for everyone.
If we were into every person we met, there wouldnt be anyone special, right?
But sometimes, you really want to like someone.
He hasa great job. You love hisfriends and family. He’s funny.
You have everything in common. You can text all day and never run out of things to talk about.
Your Snapchat exchanges keep you laughing all day long.
He’s proud of you. He cares about you.
Youre even a perfect match (according to the stars).
But, you just arent into this person, no matter how hard you try to be.
While relationships take effort, you should never force yourself to fall for someone because you think you’d be great together.
It’s a recipe for disaster and heartbreak, and that’s one sad situationI won’t ever willingly walk into.
So when you find yourself in this kind of mess, you have to break the ice.
It’s unfair to string the other person along when he’s clearly feeling all the emotions you wish you could.
When you’re dating someone youre not into, but whom you love as a human being, breaking the ice is a double-edged sword.
You both end up hurt and bummed.
6.The One
Every person I talk to tells me the one will walk into my life when I least expect it.
It wont be because I spent my entire lunch break swiping left and right (mostly left).
It wont be because I asked my co-workers, friends, family and acquaintances if they know someone else whos completely exhausted by the routine dating scene.
It certainly wont be because I got drunk enough to get the nerve to walk up to a guy and strike up a random conversation.
No way, not me.
Im told Ill meet someone in a sweet form of serendipity.
Ill accidentally spill my coffee on him at Starbucks.
Well bond over the fresh produce at Trader Joes.
Well be at the same bar for happy hour.
Something will happen.
When that something does, in fact, happen, all those heartbreaks, mistakes, moments of weakness and feelings of guilt will wash away.
You won’t question whether your guard should be up or down. What or when to text won’t be a thought.
Everything will slip into place.
Because as everyone always says, “When you know, you know.”
So until then, my advice to every single woman out there is this: Be a lady.
Be fearless, but not careless.
Be willing to love and unafraid to get hurt.
Put yourself out there. Learn to love yourself.
Discover hobbies that fill your time.
But this is the most important piece of advice of all: Never ever settle for any of the five who come before “the one.”
from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/165810005762
0 notes
Text
6 Guys Youll End Up Dating When Youve Been Single For Too Long
I’m writing this post from my bed.
I’m un-showered, even though I came home from CrossFit three hours ago.
I’m slugging back red wine and crushing a party size-serving of chips and salsa.
I turned my phone on silent an hour ago, just so I would stop checking to see if the guy I like has responded to the text I sent earlier.
Needless to say, I dont think you get much more single than this.
There are nights when I rejoice in it, and there are nights when I sulk in it.
Tonight, its the latter.
But as I sit here, elbow-deep in a bag of Tostitos and knuckles clenched around a topped-off glass of wine, I cant help but be grateful for this single life Ive been living for almost a year now.
Its an unexpected and for me unwanted learning experience.
I say its “unwanted” because Im the relationship type.
Ive never had a one-night stand (nor will I ever).
I like commitment.
Dating gives me anxiety because I never know what to say or do.
Should I text him first? Will he text me?
Whats the right emoji to use? Should I even use an emoji?
Let me screenshot this and send it to all my friends to see if its okay.
What should I wear?
Unwanted or not, Im on one hell of a self-learning curve.
I think its so important for every woman to have this bittersweet journey, especially in her20s.
Im learning when to keep my guard up and when to let it come crashing down.
Im learning how to be patient.
I’m learning what I like and what I dont.
Im learning so much about myself because Im finding time for myself.
Im trying new things.
I’ve joined CrossFit and hot yoga, and I quit some unhealthy habits that were crippling my self-esteem.
Ive tried tons of new restaurants completely free, thanks to first dates.
But besides learning about myself, Im learning a lot about the dating pool.
Let me tell you this: When they say there are plenty of fish in the sea, it’s true.
But the ones you want to catch are really, really hard to find. They’re borderline nonexistent.
Ive met tons of guys ranging in age, profession, personality, height, hobbies, etc.
However, after dozens and dozens of dates and hundreds of right swipes that have amounted to nothing, Ive been able to put a label on just about every single one.
Ive boiled them down to six main categories:
1. The Ex
When one relationship ends, its so easy to look back at a previous ex and question why that relationship didnt work out either.
Call it delusion or curiosity, but it always seems like a logical first step when youre single.
So, if youre both single, why not give it another whirl?
Its comfortable. Its fun.
Its your opportunity to double-check hes really not the one who got away.
When my high school sweetheart found out that my recent ex and I had ended things, he came back into my life the same way he left it: like a tornado, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.
Without getting into details for his sake (and his girlfriends, whoops), the verdict was we broke up for a reason.
Thats always a validating feeling.
In the words of my inner spirit animal, Taylor Swift, we are never, ever getting back together. Like, ever.
But hey, like I said, it cant hurt to double check.
2. The Non-Committal Charmer
Hell tell you youre exclusive, but he won’t ever make you his girlfriend.
He’ll monopolize your free time to ensure you dont spend time with anyone else, but he wont commit.
Youll never meet his friends or family, so dont even try.
He is in complete control of the relationship because you let him be.
His charm, wit and personality compel you to stay.
His goal is to perpetually keep your relationship in a hostage situation.
You want to see other people, but you dont want to put what you have at risk because its comfortable and fun.
Youre convinced that at some point, hell come to his senses.
He wont.
So, youre going to want to quit while you’re ahead. Dont waste any time.
3. The Egotistical PrickWho Plays On Your Heartstrings
Is it rough to call these people sociopaths?
Theyll do everything they can to make you like them in a short period of time.
Theyll cook you your favorite dinner, buy you nice wine and compliment you on the weird things you wish people would notice.
They make it so easy to let your guard down.
Then, one day, theyll just stop talking to you.
Theyll give you some bullsh*t excuse like theyre just “not ready for a relationship right now, or they really like you, and “it scares” them.
No, you just needed an ego trip. Or, you needed to get laid.
Or both.Whatever.
These types of guys are the reason all women are a little hesitant, confused, broken and yes crazy.
There are plenty of them out there.
4. The Former Frat Guy Who Just Cant Let Go Of College
In my opinion, these guys are the absolute worst.
This is mainly because they dont even realize theyre being the absolute worst. The naivety isnt at all charming.
He doesnt have to be a frat guy. Hes just the guy who loves college.
He cant grow up.
He loves his boys and beer pong more than he loves his job. He knows more about chugging beers than investing in a 401(k).
He has no idea how to start or maintain a conversation. His career path is questionable.
He most likely has the life goal of being a stay-at-home dad.
Thats what she said jokes are far too common, and he finds them far too funny.
While I personally havent gone on a single date with one of these guys, they exist in the masses.
So good luck, female young professionalsof America who thought men matured after college.
AsI say to my dad, “Im looking for the smartest idiot over 25.”
5. The One Youre Just Not That Into
These, for me, are the most common.
Then again, I think they’re common for everyone.
If we were into every person we met, there wouldnt be anyone special, right?
But sometimes, you really want to like someone.
He hasa great job. You love hisfriends and family. He’s funny.
You have everything in common. You can text all day and never run out of things to talk about.
Your Snapchat exchanges keep you laughing all day long.
He’s proud of you. He cares about you.
Youre even a perfect match (according to the stars).
But, you just arent into this person, no matter how hard you try to be.
While relationships take effort, you should never force yourself to fall for someone because you think you’d be great together.
It’s a recipe for disaster and heartbreak, and that’s one sad situationI won’t ever willingly walk into.
So when you find yourself in this kind of mess, you have to break the ice.
It’s unfair to string the other person along when he’s clearly feeling all the emotions you wish you could.
When you’re dating someone youre not into, but whom you love as a human being, breaking the ice is a double-edged sword.
You both end up hurt and bummed.
6.The One
Every person I talk to tells me the one will walk into my life when I least expect it.
It wont be because I spent my entire lunch break swiping left and right (mostly left).
It wont be because I asked my co-workers, friends, family and acquaintances if they know someone else whos completely exhausted by the routine dating scene.
It certainly wont be because I got drunk enough to get the nerve to walk up to a guy and strike up a random conversation.
No way, not me.
Im told Ill meet someone in a sweet form of serendipity.
Ill accidentally spill my coffee on him at Starbucks.
Well bond over the fresh produce at Trader Joes.
Well be at the same bar for happy hour.
Something will happen.
When that something does, in fact, happen, all those heartbreaks, mistakes, moments of weakness and feelings of guilt will wash away.
You won’t question whether your guard should be up or down. What or when to text won’t be a thought.
Everything will slip into place.
Because as everyone always says, “When you know, you know.”
So until then, my advice to every single woman out there is this: Be a lady.
Be fearless, but not careless.
Be willing to love and unafraid to get hurt.
Put yourself out there. Learn to love yourself.
Discover hobbies that fill your time.
But this is the most important piece of advice of all: Never ever settle for any of the five who come before “the one.”
Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/
from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/
0 notes
Text
6 Guys Youll End Up Dating When Youve Been Single For Too Long
I’m writing this post from my bed.
I’m un-showered, even though I came home from CrossFit three hours ago.
I’m slugging back red wine and crushing a party size-serving of chips and salsa.
I turned my phone on silent an hour ago, just so I would stop checking to see if the guy I like has responded to the text I sent earlier.
Needless to say, I dont think you get much more single than this.
There are nights when I rejoice in it, and there are nights when I sulk in it.
Tonight, its the latter.
But as I sit here, elbow-deep in a bag of Tostitos and knuckles clenched around a topped-off glass of wine, I cant help but be grateful for this single life Ive been living for almost a year now.
Its an unexpected and for me unwanted learning experience.
I say its “unwanted” because Im the relationship type.
Ive never had a one-night stand (nor will I ever).
I like commitment.
Dating gives me anxiety because I never know what to say or do.
Should I text him first? Will he text me?
Whats the right emoji to use? Should I even use an emoji?
Let me screenshot this and send it to all my friends to see if its okay.
What should I wear?
Unwanted or not, Im on one hell of a self-learning curve.
I think its so important for every woman to have this bittersweet journey, especially in her20s.
Im learning when to keep my guard up and when to let it come crashing down.
Im learning how to be patient.
I’m learning what I like and what I dont.
Im learning so much about myself because Im finding time for myself.
Im trying new things.
I’ve joined CrossFit and hot yoga, and I quit some unhealthy habits that were crippling my self-esteem.
Ive tried tons of new restaurants completely free, thanks to first dates.
But besides learning about myself, Im learning a lot about the dating pool.
Let me tell you this: When they say there are plenty of fish in the sea, it’s true.
But the ones you want to catch are really, really hard to find. They’re borderline nonexistent.
Ive met tons of guys ranging in age, profession, personality, height, hobbies, etc.
However, after dozens and dozens of dates and hundreds of right swipes that have amounted to nothing, Ive been able to put a label on just about every single one.
Ive boiled them down to six main categories:
1. The Ex
When one relationship ends, its so easy to look back at a previous ex and question why that relationship didnt work out either.
Call it delusion or curiosity, but it always seems like a logical first step when youre single.
So, if youre both single, why not give it another whirl?
Its comfortable. Its fun.
Its your opportunity to double-check hes really not the one who got away.
When my high school sweetheart found out that my recent ex and I had ended things, he came back into my life the same way he left it: like a tornado, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.
Without getting into details for his sake (and his girlfriends, whoops), the verdict was we broke up for a reason.
Thats always a validating feeling.
In the words of my inner spirit animal, Taylor Swift, we are never, ever getting back together. Like, ever.
But hey, like I said, it cant hurt to double check.
2. The Non-Committal Charmer
Hell tell you youre exclusive, but he won’t ever make you his girlfriend.
He’ll monopolize your free time to ensure you dont spend time with anyone else, but he wont commit.
Youll never meet his friends or family, so dont even try.
He is in complete control of the relationship because you let him be.
His charm, wit and personality compel you to stay.
His goal is to perpetually keep your relationship in a hostage situation.
You want to see other people, but you dont want to put what you have at risk because its comfortable and fun.
Youre convinced that at some point, hell come to his senses.
He wont.
So, youre going to want to quit while you’re ahead. Dont waste any time.
3. The Egotistical PrickWho Plays On Your Heartstrings
Is it rough to call these people sociopaths?
Theyll do everything they can to make you like them in a short period of time.
Theyll cook you your favorite dinner, buy you nice wine and compliment you on the weird things you wish people would notice.
They make it so easy to let your guard down.
Then, one day, theyll just stop talking to you.
Theyll give you some bullsh*t excuse like theyre just “not ready for a relationship right now, or they really like you, and “it scares” them.
No, you just needed an ego trip. Or, you needed to get laid.
Or both.Whatever.
These types of guys are the reason all women are a little hesitant, confused, broken and yes crazy.
There are plenty of them out there.
4. The Former Frat Guy Who Just Cant Let Go Of College
In my opinion, these guys are the absolute worst.
This is mainly because they dont even realize theyre being the absolute worst. The naivety isnt at all charming.
He doesnt have to be a frat guy. Hes just the guy who loves college.
He cant grow up.
He loves his boys and beer pong more than he loves his job. He knows more about chugging beers than investing in a 401(k).
He has no idea how to start or maintain a conversation. His career path is questionable.
He most likely has the life goal of being a stay-at-home dad.
Thats what she said jokes are far too common, and he finds them far too funny.
While I personally havent gone on a single date with one of these guys, they exist in the masses.
So good luck, female young professionalsof America who thought men matured after college.
AsI say to my dad, “Im looking for the smartest idiot over 25.”
5. The One Youre Just Not That Into
These, for me, are the most common.
Then again, I think they’re common for everyone.
If we were into every person we met, there wouldnt be anyone special, right?
But sometimes, you really want to like someone.
He hasa great job. You love hisfriends and family. He’s funny.
You have everything in common. You can text all day and never run out of things to talk about.
Your Snapchat exchanges keep you laughing all day long.
He’s proud of you. He cares about you.
Youre even a perfect match (according to the stars).
But, you just arent into this person, no matter how hard you try to be.
While relationships take effort, you should never force yourself to fall for someone because you think you’d be great together.
It’s a recipe for disaster and heartbreak, and that’s one sad situationI won’t ever willingly walk into.
So when you find yourself in this kind of mess, you have to break the ice.
It’s unfair to string the other person along when he’s clearly feeling all the emotions you wish you could.
When you’re dating someone youre not into, but whom you love as a human being, breaking the ice is a double-edged sword.
You both end up hurt and bummed.
6.The One
Every person I talk to tells me the one will walk into my life when I least expect it.
It wont be because I spent my entire lunch break swiping left and right (mostly left).
It wont be because I asked my co-workers, friends, family and acquaintances if they know someone else whos completely exhausted by the routine dating scene.
It certainly wont be because I got drunk enough to get the nerve to walk up to a guy and strike up a random conversation.
No way, not me.
Im told Ill meet someone in a sweet form of serendipity.
Ill accidentally spill my coffee on him at Starbucks.
Well bond over the fresh produce at Trader Joes.
Well be at the same bar for happy hour.
Something will happen.
When that something does, in fact, happen, all those heartbreaks, mistakes, moments of weakness and feelings of guilt will wash away.
You won’t question whether your guard should be up or down. What or when to text won’t be a thought.
Everything will slip into place.
Because as everyone always says, “When you know, you know.”
So until then, my advice to every single woman out there is this: Be a lady.
Be fearless, but not careless.
Be willing to love and unafraid to get hurt.
Put yourself out there. Learn to love yourself.
Discover hobbies that fill your time.
But this is the most important piece of advice of all: Never ever settle for any of the five who come before “the one.”
source http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/09/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve.html
0 notes
Text
6 Guys Youll End Up Dating When Youve Been Single For Too Long
I’m writing this post from my bed.
I’m un-showered, even though I came home from CrossFit three hours ago.
I’m slugging back red wine and crushing a party size-serving of chips and salsa.
I turned my phone on silent an hour ago, just so I would stop checking to see if the guy I like has responded to the text I sent earlier.
Needless to say, I dont think you get much more single than this.
There are nights when I rejoice in it, and there are nights when I sulk in it.
Tonight, its the latter.
But as I sit here, elbow-deep in a bag of Tostitos and knuckles clenched around a topped-off glass of wine, I cant help but be grateful for this single life Ive been living for almost a year now.
Its an unexpected and for me unwanted learning experience.
I say its “unwanted” because Im the relationship type.
Ive never had a one-night stand (nor will I ever).
I like commitment.
Dating gives me anxiety because I never know what to say or do.
Should I text him first? Will he text me?
Whats the right emoji to use? Should I even use an emoji?
Let me screenshot this and send it to all my friends to see if its okay.
What should I wear?
Unwanted or not, Im on one hell of a self-learning curve.
I think its so important for every woman to have this bittersweet journey, especially in her20s.
Im learning when to keep my guard up and when to let it come crashing down.
Im learning how to be patient.
I’m learning what I like and what I dont.
Im learning so much about myself because Im finding time for myself.
Im trying new things.
I’ve joined CrossFit and hot yoga, and I quit some unhealthy habits that were crippling my self-esteem.
Ive tried tons of new restaurants completely free, thanks to first dates.
But besides learning about myself, Im learning a lot about the dating pool.
Let me tell you this: When they say there are plenty of fish in the sea, it’s true.
But the ones you want to catch are really, really hard to find. They’re borderline nonexistent.
Ive met tons of guys ranging in age, profession, personality, height, hobbies, etc.
However, after dozens and dozens of dates and hundreds of right swipes that have amounted to nothing, Ive been able to put a label on just about every single one.
Ive boiled them down to six main categories:
1. The Ex
When one relationship ends, its so easy to look back at a previous ex and question why that relationship didnt work out either.
Call it delusion or curiosity, but it always seems like a logical first step when youre single.
So, if youre both single, why not give it another whirl?
Its comfortable. Its fun.
Its your opportunity to double-check hes really not the one who got away.
When my high school sweetheart found out that my recent ex and I had ended things, he came back into my life the same way he left it: like a tornado, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.
Without getting into details for his sake (and his girlfriends, whoops), the verdict was we broke up for a reason.
Thats always a validating feeling.
In the words of my inner spirit animal, Taylor Swift, we are never, ever getting back together. Like, ever.
But hey, like I said, it cant hurt to double check.
2. The Non-Committal Charmer
Hell tell you youre exclusive, but he won’t ever make you his girlfriend.
He’ll monopolize your free time to ensure you dont spend time with anyone else, but he wont commit.
Youll never meet his friends or family, so dont even try.
He is in complete control of the relationship because you let him be.
His charm, wit and personality compel you to stay.
His goal is to perpetually keep your relationship in a hostage situation.
You want to see other people, but you dont want to put what you have at risk because its comfortable and fun.
Youre convinced that at some point, hell come to his senses.
He wont.
So, youre going to want to quit while you’re ahead. Dont waste any time.
3. The Egotistical PrickWho Plays On Your Heartstrings
Is it rough to call these people sociopaths?
Theyll do everything they can to make you like them in a short period of time.
Theyll cook you your favorite dinner, buy you nice wine and compliment you on the weird things you wish people would notice.
They make it so easy to let your guard down.
Then, one day, theyll just stop talking to you.
Theyll give you some bullsh*t excuse like theyre just “not ready for a relationship right now, or they really like you, and “it scares” them.
No, you just needed an ego trip. Or, you needed to get laid.
Or both.Whatever.
These types of guys are the reason all women are a little hesitant, confused, broken and yes crazy.
There are plenty of them out there.
4. The Former Frat Guy Who Just Cant Let Go Of College
In my opinion, these guys are the absolute worst.
This is mainly because they dont even realize theyre being the absolute worst. The naivety isnt at all charming.
He doesnt have to be a frat guy. Hes just the guy who loves college.
He cant grow up.
He loves his boys and beer pong more than he loves his job. He knows more about chugging beers than investing in a 401(k).
He has no idea how to start or maintain a conversation. His career path is questionable.
He most likely has the life goal of being a stay-at-home dad.
Thats what she said jokes are far too common, and he finds them far too funny.
While I personally havent gone on a single date with one of these guys, they exist in the masses.
So good luck, female young professionalsof America who thought men matured after college.
AsI say to my dad, “Im looking for the smartest idiot over 25.”
5. The One Youre Just Not That Into
These, for me, are the most common.
Then again, I think they’re common for everyone.
If we were into every person we met, there wouldnt be anyone special, right?
But sometimes, you really want to like someone.
He hasa great job. You love hisfriends and family. He’s funny.
You have everything in common. You can text all day and never run out of things to talk about.
Your Snapchat exchanges keep you laughing all day long.
He’s proud of you. He cares about you.
Youre even a perfect match (according to the stars).
But, you just arent into this person, no matter how hard you try to be.
While relationships take effort, you should never force yourself to fall for someone because you think you’d be great together.
It’s a recipe for disaster and heartbreak, and that’s one sad situationI won’t ever willingly walk into.
So when you find yourself in this kind of mess, you have to break the ice.
It’s unfair to string the other person along when he’s clearly feeling all the emotions you wish you could.
When you’re dating someone youre not into, but whom you love as a human being, breaking the ice is a double-edged sword.
You both end up hurt and bummed.
6.The One
Every person I talk to tells me the one will walk into my life when I least expect it.
It wont be because I spent my entire lunch break swiping left and right (mostly left).
It wont be because I asked my co-workers, friends, family and acquaintances if they know someone else whos completely exhausted by the routine dating scene.
It certainly wont be because I got drunk enough to get the nerve to walk up to a guy and strike up a random conversation.
No way, not me.
Im told Ill meet someone in a sweet form of serendipity.
Ill accidentally spill my coffee on him at Starbucks.
Well bond over the fresh produce at Trader Joes.
Well be at the same bar for happy hour.
Something will happen.
When that something does, in fact, happen, all those heartbreaks, mistakes, moments of weakness and feelings of guilt will wash away.
You won’t question whether your guard should be up or down. What or when to text won’t be a thought.
Everything will slip into place.
Because as everyone always says, “When you know, you know.”
So until then, my advice to every single woman out there is this: Be a lady.
Be fearless, but not careless.
Be willing to love and unafraid to get hurt.
Put yourself out there. Learn to love yourself.
Discover hobbies that fill your time.
But this is the most important piece of advice of all: Never ever settle for any of the five who come before “the one.”
from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/
0 notes
Text
To End The Year, A Mini-Magpie With A Mini Mystery.
Has mega-fraudster Craig Gore skipped Australia? And if so, why hasnt this been reported in the media especially since he is supposed to have made a midnight flit the very day after a judge refused to allow him to leave? In other matters, one has to admit that the Townsville Bulletin is consistent it has ended the year as it started, continuing its weekly Olympic-standard shambles. And Mongrel the Barrister has left us lawyer Mark Donnelly, the man who inspired a much loved Magpie character has passed away. and our final visit to Trumpistan for 2018. But first Its hard to keep a good man down, and our fav toonist Bentley is nothing if not a good man. Even in the holiday season, he casts his jaundiced eye over the news, and brings us a different and rib-tickling perspective. This week, he was much taken as most of us were with the drone drama at Gatwick Airport in the UK. A professional drone was reported in the airports approach and departure air space, and thousands of travellers were stuck when the whole shebang was shut down for a couple of days while the wallopers tried to go hi-tech and trace the source of the bastardry. Its not fully sorted yet, but Bentley thinks the drone may have already met its fate.
Why Arent All The Gore-y Details Available?
Will ye no come back agin, laddie? Now to our mini-mystery. On December 19, this report appeared in the Courier Mail. Judge denies disgraced former rich-lister Craig Gore request to travel overseas Vanessa Marsh, The Courier-Mail December 20, 2018 2:21pm A DISGRACED former rich-lister accused of ripping off almost $800,000 from investors has broken down in court after a judge refused his request to leave the country to visit family. Lawyers for alleged fraudster Craig Gore today launched an application in the Queensland District Court, seeking for the former businessmans bail conditions to be altered to allow him to travel to Sweden to visit his wife and children. But Judge Paul Smith denied the request, saying Gore faced a long time in prison if convicted and there was a real risk he would not return to Australia to face trial. Gore is facing 12 charges of fraud over allegations he swindled about $800,000 from self-managed super fund investors in 2013-14. He also faces three charges of managing companies while disqualified. Now that seems pretty definitive and eminently sensible. But The Magpie was informed two days later, by a regular contact and mate who has always been on the money in the past, that Gore went back to court the next day on another application, and had his passport returned so he could be with his family in Sweden at Christmas. He was to return in three months to face trial and possibility of a lengthy striped suntan. The Pies contact says Gore was on a flight out of Brisbane that night at 11pm, accompanied by a lawyer (that was apparently part of the arrangement) who will return with certain paperwork. Gore will be expected to make his own way back to face his fate in March. Yeah, right. Now all that is as it may be, BUT THIS SPECTACULAR REVERSAL OF A JUDGES IMPLACABLE DECISION HAS BEEN NEITHER EXPLAINED OR APPEARED IN THE MEDIA. Well, not that The Magpie can find, after days of searching to verify. If it is true, there will be a hell of a lot of very pissed off people Gores victims and the tireless investigators who nailed him who know just how long are the odds that we will ever see this shyster again. Shades of Skase!! Perhaps we will never know how this came about if it did come about because there will be a lofty judicial silence of unaccountability if he is a no show but surely the second hearing was an open court? Hard to fathom why it wasnt reported. Mongrel The Barrister Is No More The Magpies good mate Mark Sludge Donnelly the man who partially inspired the popular Magpie character Mongrel the Barrister, died in his family home in Cairns last weekend. It is fair to say that Mark was my best mate in the halcyon days of Portraits Bar in the Exchange Hotel all through the Noughties, the years when I was reporting court matters for the Bulletin. We were part of a memorable and disparate group, the bar crowded with our marvellously mixed group every Thursday, Friday and sometimes Saturday nights. (The fondly remembered Portraits became Poseurs Bar in the newspaper column and then in this blog.) Mark was universally known as Sludge, which he happily answered to, but never fully explained, even to me, its origins apparently it had something to do with a memorable comment from a lecturer or senior teacher suggesting Marks behaviour at that time some comparable to something from the bottom of a pond. Sludge was one of the wittiest people Ive known, and his memory was nothing short of astounding, not just for quoting legal precedents but in all things, particularly pop music. He always commandeered the music machine at parties, and was a pretty good DJ. He also had an eye for a well turned ankle, and his way of getting ladies to talk about themselves endeared him to more than one. Like many a member of the Portraits push, Mark liked a drink, and some believed he was a bit too enthusiastic in this direction. But I would say that rather than having a battle with the bottle, he just had frequent skirmishes with it, as we all did and any excess rarely affected his work at the other more sedate bar, where he often shone. Mark left Townsville when his father died, to live with his mother in the family home in Cairns. He didnt practice in Cairns, and went into virtual retirement, which was plagued by ill health for some time. He returned to Townsville annually for his birthday, but I lost touch in the past few years, for which I feel a bit miserable now. Sludge is now undoubtedly arguing the finer points about the Laws of Entry with St Peter for that is certainly where this witty, soft-hearted old friend of mine now is because we all know God loves a larrikin. Mark was 62. They Really Dont Understand Language at The Astonisher, Do They? And they even get the wrong WORD for a headlines. Even when theyre trying to make a pun, which kinda depends on the right word, yes? But we got a headline quoting some bizoid saying Townsville is bracing for a great 2018. Bracing for? Ahem. Youve managed to say EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what you meant. Heres the dictionary definition of bracing. verb[withobject] prepare (someone or oneself) forsomethingdifficult or unpleasant:both stations arebracingthemselvesforjoblosses|policeare braced fora trafficnightmare. So although this paper goes through life like a bouncing Hari Krishna whos visited the medicine cabinet once too often, giving us totally unquestioning, unexamined glop about our economy (usually from someone with a vested interest), it seem to have inadvertently hit on the truth here. However, the most tedious aspect of the paper of late is the dreary attempts at humour in headlines, particularly about crime, a subject no one in Townsville with the exception of you folks in Flinders Street, finds the least bit funny. AND EVEN THEN, LANGUAGE FAILS YOU let alone a sharp sense of humour.Take this major front page fail on Thursday.
Swindler? My dear headline writer, stay with me on this and read slowly, feel free to move your lips as you must. Now lets see, a swindler is someone who fiddles some unsuspecting victim out of something. That person would be called a fiddler, and if hidden in a ceiling, could be described as ta da a Fiddler In The Roof. You see, this would then coincide with the hit musical of the same name oh, how we would have all fallen about, clutching our sides in mirth, and holding your superior wit in such esteem!!! But swindler? Now weve just got a headache from smacking our foreheads yet again. And this one in simply NOT TRUE. This online
The actual number of people who said (or may have said, who knows, its probably a fiddled fantasy anyway) was 55% of the 700 or so people who responded to a totally uncontrolled survey. If there area 220,000 potential readers (ha! you wish) in the circulation area, the percentage is not even .5 of one percent. But we all know that the on-line edition is sloppy, so the paper itself will temper the outlandish claims, wont it? Errr no.
This is simply lying, and treating people like morons. And still they wonder But barely have we swallowed our anger before we start scratching our heads over weird genuinely weird stories like this, which would suggest that English isnt TEL boss Patricia OCallaghans first language, or she was suffering mild sunstroke when she was penned the media release from which the story was transcribed.
This story is selective twaddle certainly straight off an unedited media release from the Dudley Do Nothings, meaningless twaddle in which Ms OCallaghan specialises. It has often been said of her that she has the gift of the gab, and aint that the truth, just about all of what she has to say, in The Pies experience, is just that meaningless gabble that sounds good until it is more thoughtfully examined. Like this: The Museum of Underwater Art, located within the heart of The Great Barrier Reef, is a proposal based on the works of international sculpture and underwater artist Jason deCaires Taylor. Whats that bit located in the heart of the Great Barrier Reef? Has there been a Krakatoa-like geographic shift we havent noticed? The Underwater Museum, one of several planned along the coast, will be, at last report, just of Maggy Island, the GBR is a at least an hour or more away by fast cat . But in it goes to the story, with a newbie cub reporter just churning out this PR bumf. But wait, theres more. We then get this prize piece of meaningless gabble from the top executive charged with attracting and promoting tourism to Townsville: Its a project that is going to enhance the Great Barrier Reef experience and also educate visitors on how we manage and live with the reef everyday Ms OCallaghan said. That is absolute poppycock that is totally meaningless. And We? Bloody WE? FFS, girl, get a bloody grip. Insulting, uppity tripe from Ms OCallaghan and lazy, presumably unsupervised reporting (read: select all, copy and paste) by a very uncurious junior reporter (read: stenographer). Really, a monkey using scrabble board wouldve made more sense. The clusterfuck continues no wonder were so deep in the shit. Other matters As if golf didnt already have enough hazards.
Words of Wisdom From Two Funny Men
Frankie Boyle The cleverest quote of the week comes from the Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle in the Guardian. But first, his preamble touched a chord for The Magpie, who can vouch for it when Mr Boyle writes: The plight of the satirist, such as it is, is a compulsion to look at the grimmest, most important thing they can think of, and then for reasons that probably wouldnt survive a really good therapist, try to make it funny. To try to address the iniquities of their society, the satirist must manufacture some hope that what theyre doing might make a difference, then type it all up and send it off somewhere before they remember that it never does. Looking back over the events of this year is a bit like holding a doll for a therapist and pointing to where the bad man hurt you. Mr Boyles point is a universal one, which can be shared by Townsvilleans looking back over the past shambolic year. But his prize quote is so subtle, that you may have to think about for a while The Pie roared after a few seconds. The murder ofJamal Khashoggiby Saudi Arabia is another very difficult subject to find the lighter side of, unless someone in the Ecuadorean embassy has clipped the story out and stuck it to the fridge. (Sigh) Dear Mystified of Mysterton, it means that the Ecuadoreans might be giving their Wikileaks guest Julian Assange a hint.
Dave Barry The other funnyman worth a quote is the inimitable Dave Barry , the American columnist who talks about Florida the way The Magpie talks about Townsville only he is far funnier, proof being that The Magpie pinches more of his lines (many) than he does of The Magpies (none). This was his challenge to a graduating class, but it can just as well apply to the year 2019. How are you, Class, going to respond when the Clock-Radio of Challenge emits the Irritating Buzz of Opportunity? Are you going to roll over and hit the Snooze Button of Complacency? Or are you going to wake up and, after performing the Bodily Functions of Preparedness, boldly grasp the Toothbrush of Tomorrow? And no matter what you do in the coming year, make sure youre always politically correct, so no snowflakes will melt before your harsh words.
And So To This Week In Trumpistan First, compare Trump as Commander In Chief of real US soldiers, on his surprise visit to Iraq
Guess whos wondering if she packed the shampoo? with this.
And now to our final gallery of the year about the man Frankie Boyle described as this troll-doll King Lear, who looks like something youd pick off a baking tray after cooking pizza above it.
And Finally How The Hell ? The Pie has been occasionally upbraided for the use of naughty words in this blog well, one word in particular. He is aware that it can be confronting, but it is the other F word Frustration that compels him to sometimes resort to other for emphasis. Anyway, so what, if its good enough for Sesame Street, its good enough for The Pie. .. So that was the year that was, and what a rip-snorter we have coming up. Turns out this edition wasnt so mini after all. Comments run throughout the holiday break 24/7, so you dont have to wait to have your say. And the New Year will look even rosier for the old bird if you think the Nest is worth a small donation to keep it neat and tidy. The how to donate button is below. HAPPY NEW YEAR, YALL. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/to-end-the-year-a-mini-magpie-with-a-mini-mystery/
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To End The Year, A Mini-Magpie With A Mini Mystery.
Has mega-fraudster Craig Gore skipped Australia? And if so, why hasnt this been reported in the media especially since he is supposed to have made a midnight flit the very day after a judge refused to allow him to leave? In other matters, one has to admit that the Townsville Bulletin is consistent it has ended the year as it started, continuing its weekly Olympic-standard shambles. And Mongrel the Barrister has left us lawyer Mark Donnelly, the man who inspired a much loved Magpie character has passed away. and our final visit to Trumpistan for 2018. But first Its hard to keep a good man down, and our fav toonist Bentley is nothing if not a good man. Even in the holiday season, he casts his jaundiced eye over the news, and brings us a different and rib-tickling perspective. This week, he was much taken as most of us were with the drone drama at Gatwick Airport in the UK. A professional drone was reported in the airports approach and departure air space, and thousands of travellers were stuck when the whole shebang was shut down for a couple of days while the wallopers tried to go hi-tech and trace the source of the bastardry. Its not fully sorted yet, but Bentley thinks the drone may have already met its fate.
Why Arent All The Gore-y Details Available?
Will ye no come back agin, laddie? Now to our mini-mystery. On December 19, this report appeared in the Courier Mail. Judge denies disgraced former rich-lister Craig Gore request to travel overseas Vanessa Marsh, The Courier-Mail December 20, 2018 2:21pm A DISGRACED former rich-lister accused of ripping off almost $800,000 from investors has broken down in court after a judge refused his request to leave the country to visit family. Lawyers for alleged fraudster Craig Gore today launched an application in the Queensland District Court, seeking for the former businessmans bail conditions to be altered to allow him to travel to Sweden to visit his wife and children. But Judge Paul Smith denied the request, saying Gore faced a long time in prison if convicted and there was a real risk he would not return to Australia to face trial. Gore is facing 12 charges of fraud over allegations he swindled about $800,000 from self-managed super fund investors in 2013-14. He also faces three charges of managing companies while disqualified. Now that seems pretty definitive and eminently sensible. But The Magpie was informed two days later, by a regular contact and mate who has always been on the money in the past, that Gore went back to court the next day on another application, and had his passport returned so he could be with his family in Sweden at Christmas. He was to return in three months to face trial and possibility of a lengthy striped suntan. The Pies contact says Gore was on a flight out of Brisbane that night at 11pm, accompanied by a lawyer (that was apparently part of the arrangement) who will return with certain paperwork. Gore will be expected to make his own way back to face his fate in March. Yeah, right. Now all that is as it may be, BUT THIS SPECTACULAR REVERSAL OF A JUDGES IMPLACABLE DECISION HAS BEEN NEITHER EXPLAINED OR APPEARED IN THE MEDIA. Well, not that The Magpie can find, after days of searching to verify. If it is true, there will be a hell of a lot of very pissed off people Gores victims and the tireless investigators who nailed him who know just how long are the odds that we will ever see this shyster again. Shades of Skase!! Perhaps we will never know how this came about if it did come about because there will be a lofty judicial silence of unaccountability if he is a no show but surely the second hearing was an open court? Hard to fathom why it wasnt reported. Mongrel The Barrister Is No More The Magpies good mate Mark Sludge Donnelly the man who partially inspired the popular Magpie character Mongrel the Barrister, died in his family home in Cairns last weekend. It is fair to say that Mark was my best mate in the halcyon days of Portraits Bar in the Exchange Hotel all through the Noughties, the years when I was reporting court matters for the Bulletin. We were part of a memorable and disparate group, the bar crowded with our marvellously mixed group every Thursday, Friday and sometimes Saturday nights. (The fondly remembered Portraits became Poseurs Bar in the newspaper column and then in this blog.) Mark was universally known as Sludge, which he happily answered to, but never fully explained, even to me, its origins apparently it had something to do with a memorable comment from a lecturer or senior teacher suggesting Marks behaviour at that time some comparable to something from the bottom of a pond. Sludge was one of the wittiest people Ive known, and his memory was nothing short of astounding, not just for quoting legal precedents but in all things, particularly pop music. He always commandeered the music machine at parties, and was a pretty good DJ. He also had an eye for a well turned ankle, and his way of getting ladies to talk about themselves endeared him to more than one. Like many a member of the Portraits push, Mark liked a drink, and some believed he was a bit too enthusiastic in this direction. But I would say that rather than having a battle with the bottle, he just had frequent skirmishes with it, as we all did and any excess rarely affected his work at the other more sedate bar, where he often shone. Mark left Townsville when his father died, to live with his mother in the family home in Cairns. He didnt practice in Cairns, and went into virtual retirement, which was plagued by ill health for some time. He returned to Townsville annually for his birthday, but I lost touch in the past few years, for which I feel a bit miserable now. Sludge is now undoubtedly arguing the finer points about the Laws of Entry with St Peter for that is certainly where this witty, soft-hearted old friend of mine now is because we all know God loves a larrikin. Mark was 62. They Really Dont Understand Language at The Astonisher, Do They? And they even get the wrong WORD for a headlines. Even when theyre trying to make a pun, which kinda depends on the right word, yes? But we got a headline quoting some bizoid saying Townsville is bracing for a great 2018. Bracing for? Ahem. Youve managed to say EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what you meant. Heres the dictionary definition of bracing. verb[withobject] prepare (someone or oneself) forsomethingdifficult or unpleasant:both stations arebracingthemselvesforjoblosses|policeare braced fora trafficnightmare. So although this paper goes through life like a bouncing Hari Krishna whos visited the medicine cabinet once too often, giving us totally unquestioning, unexamined glop about our economy (usually from someone with a vested interest), it seem to have inadvertently hit on the truth here. However, the most tedious aspect of the paper of late is the dreary attempts at humour in headlines, particularly about crime, a subject no one in Townsville with the exception of you folks in Flinders Street, finds the least bit funny. AND EVEN THEN, LANGUAGE FAILS YOU let alone a sharp sense of humour.Take this major front page fail on Thursday.
Swindler? My dear headline writer, stay with me on this and read slowly, feel free to move your lips as you must. Now lets see, a swindler is someone who fiddles some unsuspecting victim out of something. That person would be called a fiddler, and if hidden in a ceiling, could be described as ta da a Fiddler In The Roof. You see, this would then coincide with the hit musical of the same name oh, how we would have all fallen about, clutching our sides in mirth, and holding your superior wit in such esteem!!! But swindler? Now weve just got a headache from smacking our foreheads yet again. And this one in simply NOT TRUE. This online
The actual number of people who said (or may have said, who knows, its probably a fiddled fantasy anyway) was 55% of the 700 or so people who responded to a totally uncontrolled survey. If there area 220,000 potential readers (ha! you wish) in the circulation area, the percentage is not even .5 of one percent. But we all know that the on-line edition is sloppy, so the paper itself will temper the outlandish claims, wont it? Errr no.
This is simply lying, and treating people like morons. And still they wonder But barely have we swallowed our anger before we start scratching our heads over weird genuinely weird stories like this, which would suggest that English isnt TEL boss Patricia OCallaghans first language, or she was suffering mild sunstroke when she was penned the media release from which the story was transcribed.
This story is selective twaddle certainly straight off an unedited media release from the Dudley Do Nothings, meaningless twaddle in which Ms OCallaghan specialises. It has often been said of her that she has the gift of the gab, and aint that the truth, just about all of what she has to say, in The Pies experience, is just that meaningless gabble that sounds good until it is more thoughtfully examined. Like this: The Museum of Underwater Art, located within the heart of The Great Barrier Reef, is a proposal based on the works of international sculpture and underwater artist Jason deCaires Taylor. Whats that bit located in the heart of the Great Barrier Reef? Has there been a Krakatoa-like geographic shift we havent noticed? The Underwater Museum, one of several planned along the coast, will be, at last report, just of Maggy Island, the GBR is a at least an hour or more away by fast cat . But in it goes to the story, with a newbie cub reporter just churning out this PR bumf. But wait, theres more. We then get this prize piece of meaningless gabble from the top executive charged with attracting and promoting tourism to Townsville: Its a project that is going to enhance the Great Barrier Reef experience and also educate visitors on how we manage and live with the reef everyday Ms OCallaghan said. That is absolute poppycock that is totally meaningless. And We? Bloody WE? FFS, girl, get a bloody grip. Insulting, uppity tripe from Ms OCallaghan and lazy, presumably unsupervised reporting (read: select all, copy and paste) by a very uncurious junior reporter (read: stenographer). Really, a monkey using scrabble board wouldve made more sense. The clusterfuck continues no wonder were so deep in the shit. Other matters As if golf didnt already have enough hazards.
Words of Wisdom From Two Funny Men
Frankie Boyle The cleverest quote of the week comes from the Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle in the Guardian. But first, his preamble touched a chord for The Magpie, who can vouch for it when Mr Boyle writes: The plight of the satirist, such as it is, is a compulsion to look at the grimmest, most important thing they can think of, and then for reasons that probably wouldnt survive a really good therapist, try to make it funny. To try to address the iniquities of their society, the satirist must manufacture some hope that what theyre doing might make a difference, then type it all up and send it off somewhere before they remember that it never does. Looking back over the events of this year is a bit like holding a doll for a therapist and pointing to where the bad man hurt you. Mr Boyles point is a universal one, which can be shared by Townsvilleans looking back over the past shambolic year. But his prize quote is so subtle, that you may have to think about for a while The Pie roared after a few seconds. The murder ofJamal Khashoggiby Saudi Arabia is another very difficult subject to find the lighter side of, unless someone in the Ecuadorean embassy has clipped the story out and stuck it to the fridge. (Sigh) Dear Mystified of Mysterton, it means that the Ecuadoreans might be giving their Wikileaks guest Julian Assange a hint.
Dave Barry The other funnyman worth a quote is the inimitable Dave Barry , the American columnist who talks about Florida the way The Magpie talks about Townsville only he is far funnier, proof being that The Magpie pinches more of his lines (many) than he does of The Magpies (none). This was his challenge to a graduating class, but it can just as well apply to the year 2019. How are you, Class, going to respond when the Clock-Radio of Challenge emits the Irritating Buzz of Opportunity? Are you going to roll over and hit the Snooze Button of Complacency? Or are you going to wake up and, after performing the Bodily Functions of Preparedness, boldly grasp the Toothbrush of Tomorrow? And no matter what you do in the coming year, make sure youre always politically correct, so no snowflakes will melt before your harsh words.
And So To This Week In Trumpistan First, compare Trump as Commander In Chief of real US soldiers, on his surprise visit to Iraq
Guess whos wondering if she packed the shampoo? with this.
And now to our final gallery of the year about the man Frankie Boyle described as this troll-doll King Lear, who looks like something youd pick off a baking tray after cooking pizza above it.
And Finally How The Hell ? The Pie has been occasionally upbraided for the use of naughty words in this blog well, one word in particular. He is aware that it can be confronting, but it is the other F word Frustration that compels him to sometimes resort to other for emphasis. Anyway, so what, if its good enough for Sesame Street, its good enough for The Pie. .. So that was the year that was, and what a rip-snorter we have coming up. Turns out this edition wasnt so mini after all. Comments run throughout the holiday break 24/7, so you dont have to wait to have your say. And the New Year will look even rosier for the old bird if you think the Nest is worth a small donation to keep it neat and tidy. The how to donate button is below. HAPPY NEW YEAR, YALL. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/to-end-the-year-a-mini-magpie-with-a-mini-mystery/
0 notes
Text
To End The Year, A Mini-Magpie With A Mini Mystery.
Has mega-fraudster Craig Gore skipped Australia? And if so, why hasnt this been reported in the media especially since he is supposed to have made a midnight flit the very day after a judge refused to allow him to leave? In other matters, one has to admit that the Townsville Bulletin is consistent it has ended the year as it started, continuing its weekly Olympic-standard shambles. And Mongrel the Barrister has left us lawyer Mark Donnelly, the man who inspired a much loved Magpie character has passed away. and our final visit to Trumpistan for 2018. But first Its hard to keep a good man down, and our fav toonist Bentley is nothing if not a good man. Even in the holiday season, he casts his jaundiced eye over the news, and brings us a different and rib-tickling perspective. This week, he was much taken as most of us were with the drone drama at Gatwick Airport in the UK. A professional drone was reported in the airports approach and departure air space, and thousands of travellers were stuck when the whole shebang was shut down for a couple of days while the wallopers tried to go hi-tech and trace the source of the bastardry. Its not fully sorted yet, but Bentley thinks the drone may have already met its fate.
Why Arent All The Gore-y Details Available?
Will ye no come back agin, laddie? Now to our mini-mystery. On December 19, this report appeared in the Courier Mail. Judge denies disgraced former rich-lister Craig Gore request to travel overseas Vanessa Marsh, The Courier-Mail December 20, 2018 2:21pm A DISGRACED former rich-lister accused of ripping off almost $800,000 from investors has broken down in court after a judge refused his request to leave the country to visit family. Lawyers for alleged fraudster Craig Gore today launched an application in the Queensland District Court, seeking for the former businessmans bail conditions to be altered to allow him to travel to Sweden to visit his wife and children. But Judge Paul Smith denied the request, saying Gore faced a long time in prison if convicted and there was a real risk he would not return to Australia to face trial. Gore is facing 12 charges of fraud over allegations he swindled about $800,000 from self-managed super fund investors in 2013-14. He also faces three charges of managing companies while disqualified. Now that seems pretty definitive and eminently sensible. But The Magpie was informed two days later, by a regular contact and mate who has always been on the money in the past, that Gore went back to court the next day on another application, and had his passport returned so he could be with his family in Sweden at Christmas. He was to return in three months to face trial and possibility of a lengthy striped suntan. The Pies contact says Gore was on a flight out of Brisbane that night at 11pm, accompanied by a lawyer (that was apparently part of the arrangement) who will return with certain paperwork. Gore will be expected to make his own way back to face his fate in March. Yeah, right. Now all that is as it may be, BUT THIS SPECTACULAR REVERSAL OF A JUDGES IMPLACABLE DECISION HAS BEEN NEITHER EXPLAINED OR APPEARED IN THE MEDIA. Well, not that The Magpie can find, after days of searching to verify. If it is true, there will be a hell of a lot of very pissed off people Gores victims and the tireless investigators who nailed him who know just how long are the odds that we will ever see this shyster again. Shades of Skase!! Perhaps we will never know how this came about if it did come about because there will be a lofty judicial silence of unaccountability if he is a no show but surely the second hearing was an open court? Hard to fathom why it wasnt reported. Mongrel The Barrister Is No More The Magpies good mate Mark Sludge Donnelly the man who partially inspired the popular Magpie character Mongrel the Barrister, died in his family home in Cairns last weekend. It is fair to say that Mark was my best mate in the halcyon days of Portraits Bar in the Exchange Hotel all through the Noughties, the years when I was reporting court matters for the Bulletin. We were part of a memorable and disparate group, the bar crowded with our marvellously mixed group every Thursday, Friday and sometimes Saturday nights. (The fondly remembered Portraits became Poseurs Bar in the newspaper column and then in this blog.) Mark was universally known as Sludge, which he happily answered to, but never fully explained, even to me, its origins apparently it had something to do with a memorable comment from a lecturer or senior teacher suggesting Marks behaviour at that time some comparable to something from the bottom of a pond. Sludge was one of the wittiest people Ive known, and his memory was nothing short of astounding, not just for quoting legal precedents but in all things, particularly pop music. He always commandeered the music machine at parties, and was a pretty good DJ. He also had an eye for a well turned ankle, and his way of getting ladies to talk about themselves endeared him to more than one. Like many a member of the Portraits push, Mark liked a drink, and some believed he was a bit too enthusiastic in this direction. But I would say that rather than having a battle with the bottle, he just had frequent skirmishes with it, as we all did and any excess rarely affected his work at the other more sedate bar, where he often shone. Mark left Townsville when his father died, to live with his mother in the family home in Cairns. He didnt practice in Cairns, and went into virtual retirement, which was plagued by ill health for some time. He returned to Townsville annually for his birthday, but I lost touch in the past few years, for which I feel a bit miserable now. Sludge is now undoubtedly arguing the finer points about the Laws of Entry with St Peter for that is certainly where this witty, soft-hearted old friend of mine now is because we all know God loves a larrikin. Mark was 62. They Really Dont Understand Language at The Astonisher, Do They? And they even get the wrong WORD for a headlines. Even when theyre trying to make a pun, which kinda depends on the right word, yes? But we got a headline quoting some bizoid saying Townsville is bracing for a great 2018. Bracing for? Ahem. Youve managed to say EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what you meant. Heres the dictionary definition of bracing. verb[withobject] prepare (someone or oneself) forsomethingdifficult or unpleasant:both stations arebracingthemselvesforjoblosses|policeare braced fora trafficnightmare. So although this paper goes through life like a bouncing Hari Krishna whos visited the medicine cabinet once too often, giving us totally unquestioning, unexamined glop about our economy (usually from someone with a vested interest), it seem to have inadvertently hit on the truth here. However, the most tedious aspect of the paper of late is the dreary attempts at humour in headlines, particularly about crime, a subject no one in Townsville with the exception of you folks in Flinders Street, finds the least bit funny. AND EVEN THEN, LANGUAGE FAILS YOU let alone a sharp sense of humour.Take this major front page fail on Thursday.
Swindler? My dear headline writer, stay with me on this and read slowly, feel free to move your lips as you must. Now lets see, a swindler is someone who fiddles some unsuspecting victim out of something. That person would be called a fiddler, and if hidden in a ceiling, could be described as ta da a Fiddler In The Roof. You see, this would then coincide with the hit musical of the same name oh, how we would have all fallen about, clutching our sides in mirth, and holding your superior wit in such esteem!!! But swindler? Now weve just got a headache from smacking our foreheads yet again. And this one in simply NOT TRUE. This online
The actual number of people who said (or may have said, who knows, its probably a fiddled fantasy anyway) was 55% of the 700 or so people who responded to a totally uncontrolled survey. If there area 220,000 potential readers (ha! you wish) in the circulation area, the percentage is not even .5 of one percent. But we all know that the on-line edition is sloppy, so the paper itself will temper the outlandish claims, wont it? Errr no.
This is simply lying, and treating people like morons. And still they wonder But barely have we swallowed our anger before we start scratching our heads over weird genuinely weird stories like this, which would suggest that English isnt TEL boss Patricia OCallaghans first language, or she was suffering mild sunstroke when she was penned the media release from which the story was transcribed.
This story is selective twaddle certainly straight off an unedited media release from the Dudley Do Nothings, meaningless twaddle in which Ms OCallaghan specialises. It has often been said of her that she has the gift of the gab, and aint that the truth, just about all of what she has to say, in The Pies experience, is just that meaningless gabble that sounds good until it is more thoughtfully examined. Like this: The Museum of Underwater Art, located within the heart of The Great Barrier Reef, is a proposal based on the works of international sculpture and underwater artist Jason deCaires Taylor. Whats that bit located in the heart of the Great Barrier Reef? Has there been a Krakatoa-like geographic shift we havent noticed? The Underwater Museum, one of several planned along the coast, will be, at last report, just of Maggy Island, the GBR is a at least an hour or more away by fast cat . But in it goes to the story, with a newbie cub reporter just churning out this PR bumf. But wait, theres more. We then get this prize piece of meaningless gabble from the top executive charged with attracting and promoting tourism to Townsville: Its a project that is going to enhance the Great Barrier Reef experience and also educate visitors on how we manage and live with the reef everyday Ms OCallaghan said. That is absolute poppycock that is totally meaningless. And We? Bloody WE? FFS, girl, get a bloody grip. Insulting, uppity tripe from Ms OCallaghan and lazy, presumably unsupervised reporting (read: select all, copy and paste) by a very uncurious junior reporter (read: stenographer). Really, a monkey using scrabble board wouldve made more sense. The clusterfuck continues no wonder were so deep in the shit. Other matters As if golf didnt already have enough hazards.
Words of Wisdom From Two Funny Men
Frankie Boyle The cleverest quote of the week comes from the Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle in the Guardian. But first, his preamble touched a chord for The Magpie, who can vouch for it when Mr Boyle writes: The plight of the satirist, such as it is, is a compulsion to look at the grimmest, most important thing they can think of, and then for reasons that probably wouldnt survive a really good therapist, try to make it funny. To try to address the iniquities of their society, the satirist must manufacture some hope that what theyre doing might make a difference, then type it all up and send it off somewhere before they remember that it never does. Looking back over the events of this year is a bit like holding a doll for a therapist and pointing to where the bad man hurt you. Mr Boyles point is a universal one, which can be shared by Townsvilleans looking back over the past shambolic year. But his prize quote is so subtle, that you may have to think about for a while The Pie roared after a few seconds. The murder ofJamal Khashoggiby Saudi Arabia is another very difficult subject to find the lighter side of, unless someone in the Ecuadorean embassy has clipped the story out and stuck it to the fridge. (Sigh) Dear Mystified of Mysterton, it means that the Ecuadoreans might be giving their Wikileaks guest Julian Assange a hint.
Dave Barry The other funnyman worth a quote is the inimitable Dave Barry , the American columnist who talks about Florida the way The Magpie talks about Townsville only he is far funnier, proof being that The Magpie pinches more of his lines (many) than he does of The Magpies (none). This was his challenge to a graduating class, but it can just as well apply to the year 2019. How are you, Class, going to respond when the Clock-Radio of Challenge emits the Irritating Buzz of Opportunity? Are you going to roll over and hit the Snooze Button of Complacency? Or are you going to wake up and, after performing the Bodily Functions of Preparedness, boldly grasp the Toothbrush of Tomorrow? And no matter what you do in the coming year, make sure youre always politically correct, so no snowflakes will melt before your harsh words.
And So To This Week In Trumpistan First, compare Trump as Commander In Chief of real US soldiers, on his surprise visit to Iraq
Guess whos wondering if she packed the shampoo? with this.
And now to our final gallery of the year about the man Frankie Boyle described as this troll-doll King Lear, who looks like something youd pick off a baking tray after cooking pizza above it.
And Finally How The Hell ? The Pie has been occasionally upbraided for the use of naughty words in this blog well, one word in particular. He is aware that it can be confronting, but it is the other F word Frustration that compels him to sometimes resort to other for emphasis. Anyway, so what, if its good enough for Sesame Street, its good enough for The Pie. .. So that was the year that was, and what a rip-snorter we have coming up. Turns out this edition wasnt so mini after all. Comments run throughout the holiday break 24/7, so you dont have to wait to have your say. And the New Year will look even rosier for the old bird if you think the Nest is worth a small donation to keep it neat and tidy. The how to donate button is below. HAPPY NEW YEAR, YALL. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/to-end-the-year-a-mini-magpie-with-a-mini-mystery/
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To End The Year, A Mini-Magpie With A Mini Mystery.
Has mega-fraudster Craig Gore skipped Australia? And if so, why hasnt this been reported in the media especially since he is supposed to have made a midnight flit the very day after a judge refused to allow him to leave? In other matters, one has to admit that the Townsville Bulletin is consistent it has ended the year as it started, continuing its weekly Olympic-standard shambles. And Mongrel the Barrister has left us lawyer Mark Donnelly, the man who inspired a much loved Magpie character has passed away. and our final visit to Trumpistan for 2018. But first Its hard to keep a good man down, and our fav toonist Bentley is nothing if not a good man. Even in the holiday season, he casts his jaundiced eye over the news, and brings us a different and rib-tickling perspective. This week, he was much taken as most of us were with the drone drama at Gatwick Airport in the UK. A professional drone was reported in the airports approach and departure air space, and thousands of travellers were stuck when the whole shebang was shut down for a couple of days while the wallopers tried to go hi-tech and trace the source of the bastardry. Its not fully sorted yet, but Bentley thinks the drone may have already met its fate.
Why Arent All The Gore-y Details Available?
Will ye no come back agin, laddie? Now to our mini-mystery. On December 19, this report appeared in the Courier Mail. Judge denies disgraced former rich-lister Craig Gore request to travel overseas Vanessa Marsh, The Courier-Mail December 20, 2018 2:21pm A DISGRACED former rich-lister accused of ripping off almost $800,000 from investors has broken down in court after a judge refused his request to leave the country to visit family. Lawyers for alleged fraudster Craig Gore today launched an application in the Queensland District Court, seeking for the former businessmans bail conditions to be altered to allow him to travel to Sweden to visit his wife and children. But Judge Paul Smith denied the request, saying Gore faced a long time in prison if convicted and there was a real risk he would not return to Australia to face trial. Gore is facing 12 charges of fraud over allegations he swindled about $800,000 from self-managed super fund investors in 2013-14. He also faces three charges of managing companies while disqualified. Now that seems pretty definitive and eminently sensible. But The Magpie was informed two days later, by a regular contact and mate who has always been on the money in the past, that Gore went back to court the next day on another application, and had his passport returned so he could be with his family in Sweden at Christmas. He was to return in three months to face trial and possibility of a lengthy striped suntan. The Pies contact says Gore was on a flight out of Brisbane that night at 11pm, accompanied by a lawyer (that was apparently part of the arrangement) who will return with certain paperwork. Gore will be expected to make his own way back to face his fate in March. Yeah, right. Now all that is as it may be, BUT THIS SPECTACULAR REVERSAL OF A JUDGES IMPLACABLE DECISION HAS BEEN NEITHER EXPLAINED OR APPEARED IN THE MEDIA. Well, not that The Magpie can find, after days of searching to verify. If it is true, there will be a hell of a lot of very pissed off people Gores victims and the tireless investigators who nailed him who know just how long are the odds that we will ever see this shyster again. Shades of Skase!! Perhaps we will never know how this came about if it did come about because there will be a lofty judicial silence of unaccountability if he is a no show but surely the second hearing was an open court? Hard to fathom why it wasnt reported. Mongrel The Barrister Is No More The Magpies good mate Mark Sludge Donnelly the man who partially inspired the popular Magpie character Mongrel the Barrister, died in his family home in Cairns last weekend. It is fair to say that Mark was my best mate in the halcyon days of Portraits Bar in the Exchange Hotel all through the Noughties, the years when I was reporting court matters for the Bulletin. We were part of a memorable and disparate group, the bar crowded with our marvellously mixed group every Thursday, Friday and sometimes Saturday nights. (The fondly remembered Portraits became Poseurs Bar in the newspaper column and then in this blog.) Mark was universally known as Sludge, which he happily answered to, but never fully explained, even to me, its origins apparently it had something to do with a memorable comment from a lecturer or senior teacher suggesting Marks behaviour at that time some comparable to something from the bottom of a pond. Sludge was one of the wittiest people Ive known, and his memory was nothing short of astounding, not just for quoting legal precedents but in all things, particularly pop music. He always commandeered the music machine at parties, and was a pretty good DJ. He also had an eye for a well turned ankle, and his way of getting ladies to talk about themselves endeared him to more than one. Like many a member of the Portraits push, Mark liked a drink, and some believed he was a bit too enthusiastic in this direction. But I would say that rather than having a battle with the bottle, he just had frequent skirmishes with it, as we all did and any excess rarely affected his work at the other more sedate bar, where he often shone. Mark left Townsville when his father died, to live with his mother in the family home in Cairns. He didnt practice in Cairns, and went into virtual retirement, which was plagued by ill health for some time. He returned to Townsville annually for his birthday, but I lost touch in the past few years, for which I feel a bit miserable now. Sludge is now undoubtedly arguing the finer points about the Laws of Entry with St Peter for that is certainly where this witty, soft-hearted old friend of mine now is because we all know God loves a larrikin. Mark was 62. They Really Dont Understand Language at The Astonisher, Do They? And they even get the wrong WORD for a headlines. Even when theyre trying to make a pun, which kinda depends on the right word, yes? But we got a headline quoting some bizoid saying Townsville is bracing for a great 2018. Bracing for? Ahem. Youve managed to say EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what you meant. Heres the dictionary definition of bracing. verb[withobject] prepare (someone or oneself) forsomethingdifficult or unpleasant:both stations arebracingthemselvesforjoblosses|policeare braced fora trafficnightmare. So although this paper goes through life like a bouncing Hari Krishna whos visited the medicine cabinet once too often, giving us totally unquestioning, unexamined glop about our economy (usually from someone with a vested interest), it seem to have inadvertently hit on the truth here. However, the most tedious aspect of the paper of late is the dreary attempts at humour in headlines, particularly about crime, a subject no one in Townsville with the exception of you folks in Flinders Street, finds the least bit funny. AND EVEN THEN, LANGUAGE FAILS YOU let alone a sharp sense of humour.Take this major front page fail on Thursday.
Swindler? My dear headline writer, stay with me on this and read slowly, feel free to move your lips as you must. Now lets see, a swindler is someone who fiddles some unsuspecting victim out of something. That person would be called a fiddler, and if hidden in a ceiling, could be described as ta da a Fiddler In The Roof. You see, this would then coincide with the hit musical of the same name oh, how we would have all fallen about, clutching our sides in mirth, and holding your superior wit in such esteem!!! But swindler? Now weve just got a headache from smacking our foreheads yet again. And this one in simply NOT TRUE. This online
The actual number of people who said (or may have said, who knows, its probably a fiddled fantasy anyway) was 55% of the 700 or so people who responded to a totally uncontrolled survey. If there area 220,000 potential readers (ha! you wish) in the circulation area, the percentage is not even .5 of one percent. But we all know that the on-line edition is sloppy, so the paper itself will temper the outlandish claims, wont it? Errr no.
This is simply lying, and treating people like morons. And still they wonder But barely have we swallowed our anger before we start scratching our heads over weird genuinely weird stories like this, which would suggest that English isnt TEL boss Patricia OCallaghans first language, or she was suffering mild sunstroke when she was penned the media release from which the story was transcribed.
This story is selective twaddle certainly straight off an unedited media release from the Dudley Do Nothings, meaningless twaddle in which Ms OCallaghan specialises. It has often been said of her that she has the gift of the gab, and aint that the truth, just about all of what she has to say, in The Pies experience, is just that meaningless gabble that sounds good until it is more thoughtfully examined. Like this: The Museum of Underwater Art, located within the heart of The Great Barrier Reef, is a proposal based on the works of international sculpture and underwater artist Jason deCaires Taylor. Whats that bit located in the heart of the Great Barrier Reef? Has there been a Krakatoa-like geographic shift we havent noticed? The Underwater Museum, one of several planned along the coast, will be, at last report, just of Maggy Island, the GBR is a at least an hour or more away by fast cat . But in it goes to the story, with a newbie cub reporter just churning out this PR bumf. But wait, theres more. We then get this prize piece of meaningless gabble from the top executive charged with attracting and promoting tourism to Townsville: Its a project that is going to enhance the Great Barrier Reef experience and also educate visitors on how we manage and live with the reef everyday Ms OCallaghan said. That is absolute poppycock that is totally meaningless. And We? Bloody WE? FFS, girl, get a bloody grip. Insulting, uppity tripe from Ms OCallaghan and lazy, presumably unsupervised reporting (read: select all, copy and paste) by a very uncurious junior reporter (read: stenographer). Really, a monkey using scrabble board wouldve made more sense. The clusterfuck continues no wonder were so deep in the shit. Other matters As if golf didnt already have enough hazards.
Words of Wisdom From Two Funny Men
Frankie Boyle The cleverest quote of the week comes from the Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle in the Guardian. But first, his preamble touched a chord for The Magpie, who can vouch for it when Mr Boyle writes: The plight of the satirist, such as it is, is a compulsion to look at the grimmest, most important thing they can think of, and then for reasons that probably wouldnt survive a really good therapist, try to make it funny. To try to address the iniquities of their society, the satirist must manufacture some hope that what theyre doing might make a difference, then type it all up and send it off somewhere before they remember that it never does. Looking back over the events of this year is a bit like holding a doll for a therapist and pointing to where the bad man hurt you. Mr Boyles point is a universal one, which can be shared by Townsvilleans looking back over the past shambolic year. But his prize quote is so subtle, that you may have to think about for a while The Pie roared after a few seconds. The murder ofJamal Khashoggiby Saudi Arabia is another very difficult subject to find the lighter side of, unless someone in the Ecuadorean embassy has clipped the story out and stuck it to the fridge. (Sigh) Dear Mystified of Mysterton, it means that the Ecuadoreans might be giving their Wikileaks guest Julian Assange a hint.
Dave Barry The other funnyman worth a quote is the inimitable Dave Barry , the American columnist who talks about Florida the way The Magpie talks about Townsville only he is far funnier, proof being that The Magpie pinches more of his lines (many) than he does of The Magpies (none). This was his challenge to a graduating class, but it can just as well apply to the year 2019. How are you, Class, going to respond when the Clock-Radio of Challenge emits the Irritating Buzz of Opportunity? Are you going to roll over and hit the Snooze Button of Complacency? Or are you going to wake up and, after performing the Bodily Functions of Preparedness, boldly grasp the Toothbrush of Tomorrow? And no matter what you do in the coming year, make sure youre always politically correct, so no snowflakes will melt before your harsh words.
And So To This Week In Trumpistan First, compare Trump as Commander In Chief of real US soldiers, on his surprise visit to Iraq
Guess whos wondering if she packed the shampoo? with this.
And now to our final gallery of the year about the man Frankie Boyle described as this troll-doll King Lear, who looks like something youd pick off a baking tray after cooking pizza above it.
And Finally How The Hell ? The Pie has been occasionally upbraided for the use of naughty words in this blog well, one word in particular. He is aware that it can be confronting, but it is the other F word Frustration that compels him to sometimes resort to other for emphasis. Anyway, so what, if its good enough for Sesame Street, its good enough for The Pie. .. So that was the year that was, and what a rip-snorter we have coming up. Turns out this edition wasnt so mini after all. Comments run throughout the holiday break 24/7, so you dont have to wait to have your say. And the New Year will look even rosier for the old bird if you think the Nest is worth a small donation to keep it neat and tidy. The how to donate button is below. HAPPY NEW YEAR, YALL. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/to-end-the-year-a-mini-magpie-with-a-mini-mystery/
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