#sometimes you read something where its like. i need to have a beer with op and have a deep af conversation and also fujo out

[elizacassan]

sometimes you will read the most fascinating psychological stories in the dx tag but most of the time its one story every 3 months and its someone trying again to reinvent sexist 2010s YA dystopian romance with their favourite guy of the month and an oc

[alleiradayne]

Unconventional A J2 x Reader RPF Series

After a rousing evening of Friday Night Karaoke at the Supernatural convention, you’re tired and about to go to bed. But then a distinctly familiar laugh echoes through the hallway outside your hotel room door, and sleep is the last thing on your mind.

Part I - Situational

Summary: Back in your room after the always-entertaining Friday Night Karaoke, you’re about to pass out. But then that familiar cackling laughter hits your ears, and when you open your hotel room door, you find yourself standing face to face with Jared Padalecki. Warnings/Tags: Fluff, flirting, suggestions of sex, imbibing of alcohol Characters/Pairings: Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Female Reader Word Count: 3,569 A/N: For the love of everything good in this world, assume everyone involved is single or polyamorous. No. Wife. Hate. Allowed. This series as a whole will fulfill my Polyamory square for @spnkinkbingo​ but not until closer to the end. Beta’d by @atc74​ because she’s awesome and managed to read this hella long buncha nonsense.

His laugh permeated your subconscious, and a tendril of recognition wandered its way through your weary daze. The first day of the con had wrapped no more than an hour ago. Karaoke, entertaining as ever, had sapped the last of your energy, but for whatever reason, you had struggled to fall asleep. Not even hotel infomercials or the endless stream of Tumblr had lulled you to sleep.

Oh, but that laugh. Though unmistakable despite its distance, you had to have imagined it, a lucid dream. Given the upcoming convention events, your subconscious mind must have conjured up ridiculous fantasies to placate your nerves. Come Sunday, you would meet him, really meet him and talk with him and, if you were lucky, get to know him a little. No wonder you subconsciously dreamt of him as you stared, unseeing, at the television.

But then he laughed again. Right outside your door.

Not a dream, then. But a simpler explanation existed; it had to be someone that sounded like him. Not like his laugh was exclusive to him. It might be to you, but plenty of people cackled at silly things like he did.

Except when he laughed, it never felt forced. His smile reached his eyes every time he laughed like that, and his body pitched as his shoulders shook. You had seen that laugh a thousand times, at so many cons and in so many gag reels. There was no mistaking it.

And then you heard it for the third time, though it echoed from further down the hall. Your single room was the last before the massive corner suite, and there it must be that he stayed.

You bolted upright, spine straight as you focused, and listened closer. Muffled sounds slipped through the wall of your room as bags thumped to the floor, other items dropped, and people bid one another good night.

Curiosity piqued, you hopped from the hotel bed, turned off the television, and shuffled to your door. More voices passed, but they sounded as if they headed in a different direction. When the soft thud and snict of the nearest door interrupted your concentration, you gripped the handle of yours, and, with a slow turn of the knob, pulled it aside.

There in the hallway stood Jared Padalecki, phone in hand and frozen mid-stride as he stared at you. No Jensen. No Clif. No other bodyguards. Just Jared. Alone.

Except for you. No anticipation had prepared you for him, as much as your imagination had tried the last few minutes. Your teeth clicked shut when Jared laughed through his nose, nothing like the cackling you had heard a moment earlier. No, that laugh sounded like pure amusement, as if he were used to people reacting to his presence like you had, mouth agape and eyes popping out of their heads.

The need to speak, to do something beyond standing there staring at him, surpassed your better judgment and so, you said, “Hey, Jared.”

Smooth. But, as terrible as it sounded, it worked. Jared smiled his charming smile as he slid his phone into his pocket and took a step closer. “Hey, there. Are you my neighbor for the weekend?”

With your wits gathered, your typical loquacious speech returned. “It appears that I am the lucky son of a bitch who gets to see you come and go in the halls of our hotel during this convention.”

Jared held out his hand with an approving frown. “Verbose. Is that normal, or are you nervous?”

“Y/N,” you started as you took his offered hand, yours dwarfed by his. “And it’s normal. I’m not known for mincing words. Some would call me turgid, even.”

“Hm,” he started as he looked you over and examined your hand in his. “I’m not seeing any fluid retention, Y/N. And I like verbose.”

The hallway had grown far too hot in a hurry. Your guffaw of a laugh drew another from Jared, and your voices sang a song you wished to hear every day for the rest of your life. But you had stopped him on his way out. His phone buzzed an incessant chirp in his pocket that distracted both of you.

“Sorry, Y/N,” he mumbled. “They’re waiting for me. Surprised Cliffy hasn’t come back up.”

“Where are you headed?” You had blurted out the question before any rational thought argued he might not want to share that information.

“Bar down the street. We’ve been there a few times before,” he said as he jabbed a thumb to the north. “Nice place, good food, good beer, fun atmosphere. We go largely unnoticed too, so that’s a bonus every once in a while.”

With a nod you agreed. “Yeah, it’s a good joint. Great fish and chips.”

“Oh,” Jared mused with a thoughtful smile. “I haven’t tried that yet. I’ll have to give it a shot another night though, just going out for a drink.”

Tips on bar food. Great. You had Jared Padalecki all to yourself and you chose to talk about bar food. How benign. How maddeningly… normal.

“Hey, Y/N?”

His shoulders hunched as he leaned closer to you, head low and knees bent as if to appear smaller. You shook your head free of your wandering thoughts and refocused. “Yeah?”

“You okay?” he asked. “Day went alright? You seem…”

The sting of embarrassment pricked at your cheeks as you smiled and averted his intense hazel stare. “Flustered? Bemused? Bewildered? Try all three,” you said as you ran a nervous hand through your hair. “I had a great first day at the con, but… I never expected something like this. Sorry, I don't want to keep you, I'll let you get back to your—"

“Come with us.”

The world lurched to a halt at Jared's words. “No,” you started with a shake of your head. “I couldn't. I mean, I could, I want to, but I wouldn't want to impose. And I don't want people to get the wrong idea…”

“You wouldn't be imposing, I invited you,” Jared explained with a shrug. “And we can't control what other people say. If it really makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to come out, but we'd be happy to have you.”

Drinks with Jared. “Jensen will be there, too?”

“Absolutely,” Jared replied. “Cliffy, as always. But that should be it tonight. Maybe more tomorrow after the concert. Rob and the band like to go out after, so sometimes we kick it with them.”

“Sounds like a good time,” you started, still hesitant. Why, you were not sure. How often did an opportunity to hang out with Jared Padalecki present itself? Once in a lifetime? No point in second-guessing yourself or his insistence.

“Y/N?”

A shake of your head cleared the fog of conflict from your mind. “Let me get my boots. You’ll have to excuse my attire, I planned on going to a Supernatural convention all weekend, not clubbing.”

Jared laughed at that, not far from his typical cackle. “We’re going to a pub, you’ll fit right in. And for what it’s worth, that plaid is great, I love the color. Looks good on you.”

From previous interactions with Jared—photo ops and autographs—you had experienced his giving nature before. It wasn’t the first time he’d complimented you. But that had not prepared you for another, and so direct without a crowed of people around. Your entire face burned as your knees threatened to buckle.

“Th-thanks,” you stuttered. “I’ll just… uh…”

Jared held the door aside as you pointed towards your boots, out of reach. “I’ll hold it. Take your time,” he said as he withdrew his phone and began to text.

With your boots on and a sweater donned, you gathered your belongings and returned to the door. “Ready?”

Jared flashed his brilliant smile as he motioned you through the door. “After you. Jensen’s already in the truck, Cliffy is heading in to lead us out back without any interruptions. Which rarely happens, just so you know.”

Through the door, Jared followed you as you asked, “Really?” Your door shut behind you with a soft click and you double-checked it to be sure it was closed.

“I mean, sure, a handful of people might recognize us in a night,” he said with a shrug. “Couple pictures here and there. Nothing crazy. And if we get overwhelmed at all, Clif’s there.”

At the elevators, you prodded the down button as you said, “I’m surprised you’re not swarmed by fans all the time.”

Jared’s amused chuckle followed you into the elevator as the door opened. “That’s a rare situation, although it has happened.”

The fifteen-floor descent began, and though you had a million questions you wanted to ask, a million things you wanted to say, none came to mind. How could they? You were in an elevator with Jared Padalecki. The worst parts of your imagination suggested possibilities better left to yourself, but Jared must have noticed the consternation on your face.

“You okay, Y/N?” he started, a gentle hand smoothing your shoulder. “You got quiet there all of a sudden.”

“I uh…” you stuttered. “I’m fine. Just overwhelmed. Elevator isn’t helping.”

Another laugh from Jared eased your nerves. “Worried about getting stuck?”

That furious sting returned to your cheeks, spreading across the bridge of your nose. “I wouldn’t say I’m worried about it,” you jested, but from where that boldness originated, you had no clue.

Jared's amused surprise worked a smile out of you as he said, “Okay, keep your secrets then. I won't pry.” He paused for a beat, then added, “For now.”

Innuendos then? The door to the elevator opened as it reached the ground floor, your mind spinning with every possible meaning to Jared’s words. But that string of images disappeared in a flash when you met Clif waiting outside the elevator.

As if unsurprised to see you, Clif smiled and offered his hand with a short introduction. You grasped it and shook, giving your name and a quick apology for Jared’s tardiness.

“We’re used to it,” Clif started as he turned for a stairway door. “He’s always dragging ass, although he may actually have an excuse this time.”

Through the door, Jared retaliated. “Don’t give me shit for inviting someone out, man.”

Clif laughed at that but said nothing else. Through a short series of hallways, you followed him to a rear exit of the hotel where a large black SUV waited. Clif rounded the front of the vehicle as Jared opened a door for you and ushered you in.

Once seated and the door closed, your eyes adjusted to the darkness only to find Jensen leaning over the console and staring at you.

“You’re not Jared,” he suggested with a smirk.

“An astute judgment,” you shot back.

“A smartass, though,” he retorted as he held out his hand. “My kinda gal.”

A brow quirked towards your hairline as you shook his hand, surprised to find it rough and calloused. “Y/N. A pleasure.”

The passenger door opposite you opened and Jared stepped in with a hop. He groaned with a contorted frown as he spotted your hand in Jensen’s. “Is he giving you shit already?”

“Oh, don't worry, my knight in shining armor, she beat me to it,” Jensen said as he released your hand and returned to his seat.

Jared’s approving smile heated the SUV to an unreasonable level, and you wondered if that might be your curse all night, sweating in the wake of Jared’s praise. He prodded Jensen in the shoulder as he said, “I brought backup.”

Jensen scoffed as the SUV pulled away from the hotel. “Great, now I have to put up with two of you.”

“Hey, I didn't pick a side here, I'm still Switzerland in this war,” you teased.

Jensen laughed and Jared mocked him as he threw a side-eyed glare at you. And then a thought occurred to you that, depending on their response, might sour the evening. “Do you guys do this often?”

“Do what?” Jensen asked.

“Pick up random fans in hotels and take them out?”

Jared’s nose turned a pink bright enough to be seen by the dashboard light. “No,” he started. “We don’t.”

“I mean, we’ve had our fair share of one—”

“Dude!”

Jensen scoffed as he leaned over the console again. “Oh, c’mon, man, she’s not some naive little girl, why do you think she asked?” he started as he regarded you again, then paused with a furrow of his brow. “Wait, how old are you?”

“Old enough.”

Jensen shook his head as he said, “Nope. Your pithy tongue isn’t getting you out of this one.”

“You think this is a pithy tongue, just wait until I’ve had a couple drinks,” you said with a laugh.

“Only a couple?” Jared asked

You scoffed at that. “I’m not a cheap date. Single barrel scotch is my go-to, and it only takes about two of those before I’m a beer or two shy of fucking wasted.”

Clif turned the corner with a bark of his own laugh as he said, “You sure know how to pick ‘em.” The SUV lumbered to a stop outside of the pub as he added, “I’ll go park and be back in a minute.”

“We’ll head upstairs right away, looks busy,” Jared suggested as he hopped from the truck.

Jensen opened your door and held out his hand for you. As capable as you were to exit the truck on your own, the chance to hold Jensen’s hand again would not go squandered. His gentle grasp contrasted with his rough skin, and your imagination ran further into the trenches with that second connection.

From the truck, you hopped to your feet and Jensen shut the door behind you with a wave for Clif. Quite familiar with the pub, you headed in first and went directly to the stairs in the back. The lower level was packed, but around the corner, the noisy din of the bar faded. Uninterrupted, you ascended the stairs and checked over your shoulder to find Jared and Jensen following you, a smile from each.

At the top you asked them, “Bar or table?”

Jared motioned far across the bar to a smaller booth area. Dim lamps illuminated the tables, bathed in soft golden light and secluded from most others. Perfect. You agreed without a word and followed Jared as he started for the table.

A few eyes followed, some squinting, and a couple wide with recognition. Jared waved and Jensen mouthed a greeting, but no one approached. Once seated, you beside Jared and Jensen across, a server rushed to the table. “Eating tonight?”

“Just drinks,” Jensen said as he ordered from the beer list.

Jared ordered a manhattan on the rocks, much to your surprise, and you ordered your preferred scotch. The server left, leaving a drink menu behind, and Jensen eyed you with a subtly suspicious raise of his brow. “You weren’t joking.”

“I’ll pay for my own drinks,” you said. “Shits expensive.”

“You never answered my question though,” he continued. “You enjoy good scotch, you’re not in complete shock around us, which, is refreshing, you managed to get Jared to order hard liquor for the first time in ages, and you didn’t get carded.”

“Hey,” Jared interjected but Jensen bowled him over.

“How old are you?”

The server returned with your drinks, Clif arriving on his heels and sliding into an adjacent booth with a few people in tow. You took the opportunity to sip from your glass, then said, “I’m thirty-four.”

Jared nearly spit out his drink. “I don’t believe you.”

“Which was why I avoided the question,” you started. “Nobody does.”

“I thought you were older for some reason,” Jensen said, then immediately backpedaled. “I mean, like, not in the face. That’s why I didn’t guess. You hardly look old enough to be drinking. But everything about your personality said otherwise.”

Jared’s nose scrunched as he backhanded your shoulder. “I still don’t believe you’re thirty-four. I’ve really only got two years on you?”

Despite the distraction of physical contact, you pulled out your wallet and handed him your driver’s license. “And you look about 20 when you’re completely clean shaven. Don’t make it seem like you didn’t win the genetic lottery.”

He handed back your license with a hearty laugh. “I shouldn’t complain, I know,” he sighed. “Jensen can, though. He’s old.”

“Distinguished,” you corrected as you hefted your glass towards Jensen. “I can only hope I make forty-one look as hot as you do.”

Jensen hid his smile behind his glass as he toasted yours, but he failed to hide the pink that colored his cheeks. “If you can pass for an under-age drinker at thirty-four, your forties will be glorious.”

Jared added his glass. “I’ll second that, even though he’s hitting on you.”

“What? I don’t see a ring,” Jensen started. “And it’s not like she hasn’t been flirting with both of us since the car.”

How had he arrived at that conclusion? An eyebrow quirked towards your hairline as you asked, “Sarcasm and witty banter count as flirting now? What’s next, eye contact?”

That drew both men up short, but you had not intended to attack them. Jared’s chastised frown and Jensen’s crestfallen pout broke your heart. “Guys, it’s fine. I’m just giving you shit. Flirt all you want, it doesn't bother me.”

“You sure?” Jared started as his tentative touch found your knee. “We shouldn’t have assumed, I’m sorry.”

A bewildered shake of your head preceded your laugh, and you held his hand firm, hoping to reassure him. “Don’t apologize, seriously. It’s not everyday guys like you flirt with me. Actually, it’s more like no guys ever, but that’s beside the point.”

“Fuck that, they’re missing out,” Jensen scoffed before he took a long pull from his beer. “I doubt you never get hit on.”

“I didn’t say that. Plenty of women hit on me and they’re way better at it than men are,” you said with another laugh. “Besides the two of you, that is.”

“Still,” Jared started, “I don’t know why a guy wouldn’t hit on you. You’re stunning. I’m surprised you’re not on TV at the least.”

You almost spat out your drink. “My fat face? Do you know how much weight I’d have to lose to get into the industry on my own? I have zero connections,” you explained. “And don’t say it, I know damn well I’m not fat. I work out a ton and practice martial arts. Could I be in better shape? Sure. But to accomplish that I’d have to do none of this,” you paused as you gestured with your glass, then took another sip. “And probably quit my day job.”

A thoughtful smile hooked Jensen’s full lips. “We should train together tomorrow morning.”

“What?”

“What time do you need to be at the convention?” Jared asked, seeming to catch Jensen’s idea.

“Ten o’clock. I’m in VIP and shit starts right away,” you replied.

The two men considered each other as Jared squeezed your thigh. “So, we’ll be seeing plenty of you at the con, then, too?” he suggested.

That sting of embarrassment returned to your cheeks. “Actually, Jared, you’ll be seeing a lot of me on Sunday. I bought your photo op and meet and greet. Jensen, I love you, too, but I gotta admit, I’m more than a little obsessed with Jared.”

The massive hand on your thigh inched higher, nearing your center and squeezed.  You gathered every ounce of willpower you had not to react. But Jared’s coy smile and Jensen’s knowing smirk had you dead to rights. “How about we train for a quick hour. Six o’clock sound good? Give you enough time to get ready for the con?”

“I uh,” you stuttered, Jared’s hand yet rubbing your thigh. You downed the last of your scotch to give yourself a chance to breathe. “That should work.”

Jensen checked his watch, then finished the last of his beer. “Should probably head back then. You good with that?”

Jared nodded as he pushed his empty drink to you. “Want the cherries?”

“How did you know?”

He laughed a short chuckle through his nose. “You kept staring at my empty glass.”

Damn perceptive of him. The first cherry disappeared in a quick bite, but as you brought the second to your lips, you paused as you saw both Jared and Jensen starting at you. Might as well give them something to look at, then. The cherry met your tongue as you reached for it, drew it to your lips, and then sucked it from the stem.

Jared gaped without reservation while Jensen’s crooked smile returned. He turned to Jared and said, without an ounce of sarcasm, “I hate you. I hate how lucky you are. I hope you know that.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Jared said as he urged you from the booth with a prod of your thigh.

You slid from your seat and waited for Jensen to talk to Clif, who begged off from his group and headed for the door. Jared tossed some money on the table as he placed a hand at the small of your back and guided you ahead of them.

“I was going to get my drink,” you said over your shoulder.

“And I said I was going to pay for it,” he retorted.

“Such a gentleman,” Jensen mocked. “He never buys me drinks unless we’re out with a group.”

“Shut up.”

Oh. So, it was true. They didn’t just bicker like an old married couple. They were an old married couple. At least, in spirit.

“You know,” you started, “I’m not opposed to entertaining more than one person tonight.”

Jensen eyed you over his shoulder as he neared the steps. “You want me to follow him up?”

Had you read the two of them wrong? “You guys don’t… you know,” you paused as you gestured with your fingers in the shape of an X. “Cross swords?”

Jared’s face turned a shade of crimson you’d yet to see, but despite his embarrassment, both he and Jensen laughed. As you descended the stairs, Jared wrapped an arm around your shoulders and said, “It’s not uncommon.”

“But?”

Jensen shrugged as he rounded the bannister. “Why don't we save that for another night?”

Jared pulled you flush to his hip as your arm slipped around his back. “Are you sure?” you asked.

Jensen’s laughter rivaled the sweetest song as he pushed aside the door. “Positive. You kids have fun. But don’t forget, gym, six o’clock. I wanna see what you can do.”

“We’ll be there,” Jared said as his thumb rubbed the back of your neck.

The black SUV rounded the corner as you shivered beneath Jared’s touch, the anticipation of his intentions shooting straight to you core.

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Unconventional

@wayward-and-worn @evansrogerskitten

[cuthian]

Dancing in the Rain Chapter Two

Hi guys!

For this chapter, I'd like to warn you to please read the tags carefully. There is a potentially triggering scene involving gaslighting and violence at the end of the chapter -- if you think that's something that might trigger you or that you'd prefer not to read, please stop reading when Brock Rumlow's scene starts and skip to the end notes, where I'll summarise the scene for you.

Thank you again to my lovely beta and to my roommate, who have dragged me through writing this entire piece.

And thank you for still reading! I love you all.

See you in the comments, and then next week!

Love, Annaelle

Chapter Two

MUST-SEE: PEPPER POTTS SHARES ADORABLE AND HILARIOUS ULTRASOUND PICTURE OF HER BABY ON TWITTER!

Pepper Potts revealed she was expecting her first child with partners James Rhodes and Tony Stark a few months ago. Yesterday, the C.E.O. of Stark Industries shared an ultrasound picture on Twitter, where we can clearly see the baby takes after one of its fathers!

Potts, 43, announced her first pregnancy in December of last year through a truly adorable video starring her partners and Captain Steve Rogers, who is a close friend of Potts and her partners. Since the announcement, Potts has been sharing biweekly updates in the form of pictures, anecdotes and short videos featuring most of the Avengers.

[…] Besides Potts herself, the most frequent guest on Potts’ Twitter page is Rebecca Barnes, who announced that she and Thor Odinson are expecting their first child only a few weeks after Potts’ announcement. […] Potts has shared quite a few ultrasound pictures of the baby already, but her last update promises to be the most popular so far. The post boasts another ultrasound picture, this one showing that the baby might take after daddy Tony Stark! “[…]baby swallowed amniotic fluid, and then they opened their little mouth SO wide and stuck their little tongue out so far the gynaecologist nearly fell of her stool laughing,” Potts wrote. “It was wonderful to see, because it looked like our baby had the biggest, cheekiest smile on their face—just like Tony.”

Many of the other Avengers and various other celebrities saw the resemblance too.

“Takes after Tony, that one,” Steve Rogers, Captain America and close personal friend of Stark, Rhodes, and Potts, replied. “We’re gonna have our hands full.”

“Lord have mercy,” James Rhodes, daddy number two, replied. “The world’s not ready for a second Tony Stark.”

—Clarke Blake, Flair Magazine, “Pepper Potts Tweets Adorable Ultrasound Picture”, April 2016

——————

6th avenue, Park Slope, Brooklyn, New York City, New York, United States of America

23 April 2016

Peggy Carter

Peggy Carter had lived through quite a few life-altering events during her ninety-five years, but she dared say that sitting through a—albeit lovely—dinner with her goddaughter and her darling boyfriend, her niece and her prickly fiancé, her wonderfully dumb Steven, and Becky was a trial unlike any other she had faced so far.

Conversation was perfectly civil, of course, because Rebecca Barnes—senior, that is—did not tolerate acrimony of any sort at her dinner table, but there was a certain… tension between them that had not abated throughout the entire meal.

She had an inkling as to its origin, of course.

Sharon and her Brock had been together for quite some time, and while Peggy certainly had her reservations about the man, none of her background checks or even the private investigators had raised any red flags beyond a mild propensity for running his mouth when he had had a few drinks.

She never quite warmed up to the man though, finding herself a little put off by his brash attitude and his overall personality.

Sharon, however, had been quite besotted with the man since the day they’d met, and Peggy was not in the habit of trying to dictate her children’s—for that was what Sharon and Becca were, to her—love life. She had discretely done said background check on him, of course, because one could never be too careful, but nothing had come out of it, and so she held her tongue.

Whatever her own reservations towards him, Sharon loved him and he made her happy.

That was, in the end, all that Peggy wanted for her.

Her distaste of Brock, though, had been more apparent this night than she had intended for it to be.

Honestly, she blamed Thor a little bit, because Becca’s young man was so absurdly charming and lovely that Peggy couldn’t be fully blamed for showing something that might, in the right circumstances, be construed as… preference.

And honestly, whoever decided she was not allowed such preference?

People didn’t work that way.

Sometimes, one clicked with people, and sometimes, one didn’t.  

It was just that…

Well, she always strived to be fair to her family, even when her personality didn’t quite match with everyone, and Brock—as became increasingly clear as time passed and his relationship with her niece became more serious—was part of that family.

So was Thor, but the scales skewed much more in his favor because he reminded her so very much of her Daniel that sometimes it ached to look at him.

He was courteous and kind, and he revelled in her stories of her days as director of S.H.I.E.L.D. He referred to each little scuffle as a mighty battle, won by glorious victory, and had sworn to her that her days as a warrior for Earth had certainly earned her spot at his father’s table in Valhalla on the very first day they’d met.

She may—or may not—have shed a tear or two.

It should have occurred to her then, when Becca invited her over for dinner with Sharon, Brock, Thor, and Becky, that Brock would sense the difference in their interactions.

He was, after all, a fully trained S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, and a good one too.

He’d noticed.

And the atmosphere during dinner had suffered for it.

It seemed to have eased off some now, while Thor bustled about in the kitchen to do the dishes, chattering happily with Becca, who sat perched on the counter beside him, cradling her swollen belly. Sharon leaned on the doorpost beside Becca, dangling an empty glass of wine from her fingertips as she occasionally threw a comment into the conversation.

They’d been whispering and giggling to each other the entire evening, and Peggy had to admit she was curious what those two were up to.

Steve had taken Brock to the living room, distracting the man from glowering at Peggy and Thor.

Honestly, Peggy huffed to herself, the entire thing was a tad tedious.

So she had a bit of a preference when it came to Sharon and Becca’s partners—sue her.

There was no need to be so petty about it.

“Well,” Becky said, raising an eyebrow at her, leaning back in her chair. “That could’ve gone better.”

Peggy snorted lightly and shook her head, setting down the glass of red wine she’d been sipping from all night on the table. “I suppose I could’ve comported myself better towards Brock,” Peggy admitted, glancing towards the living room, where she assumed Steve was entertaining the man in question.

Becky bit her lip and nodded lightly. “I mean… You hardly said two words to him and spent the rest of the night talking to Thor. It was rather obvious, Peg.”

Peggy pouted. “I suppose I should make an effort then, shouldn’t I?”

Becky wrinkled her nose at her and nodded. “I think you should.”

Peggy heaved a very put-upon sigh and hoisted herself out of her chair, smiling when Becky followed her example. They made their way into the living room, supporting each other as they walked, and settled comfortably on the love seat directly across from the fireplace.

Steve was kneeling in front of said fireplace, stacking several more blocks of chopped wood onto the dwindling flames. Peggy sighed wistfully, trailing her eyes appreciatively over Steve’s impressive biceps and exquisite form. It really was such a shame he had always been so hung up on Barnes—Peggy had had a great appreciation for him before the serum too, but…

There was something to be said for the way he had stepped out of the machine too.

She was sure they’d have had a lot of fun together if he hadn’t been so arse over teakettle in love with Bucky Barnes. Of course, she supposed if she and Steve had given each other a chance, she would never have married Daniel, and she would never have eventually fallen in love with her Angie too…

She would not have given them up for the world.

“Steve, darling,” she called out when he got back to his feet. “Come sit with us. What were you two talking about?”

Steve sat down on the sofa beside her and Becky’s love seat and smiled tightly. “We were discussing work, actually.” He shot a quick grin towards Rumlow when the man dragged a chair over so he could sit across from them, leaving the rest of the sofa open for the others.

“We were talking about the time he botched my mission,” Brock said, just the hint of a sneer detectable in his tone but voice otherwise just friendly enough to not be called out. “Put two of my guys in the hospital and had the Widow tase the shit out of another one. Still jumps at shadows, that one. Can’t use him for ops anymore, so thanks.”

He shook his head and took a chug of his beer. “Scared away our target too.”

Peggy raised an eyebrow. “Is this true?” she asked, turning to Steve.

She was aware Steve ran mostly Avengers-related missions nowadays, and that those missions were usually meticulously planned by Becca, Maria Hill, and Pepper Potts. She couldn’t quite imagine such a large mistake escaping their notice.

Steve’s cheeks colored, and he shrugged. “Yeah. We got the same anonymous tip about a terrorist group we’d been monitoring, and we responded without a lot of delay—we informed Fury, and he gave us the go-ahead, but apparently Maria had also sent out a STRIKE team.” He sighed and hung his head. “We collided mid-mission.”

Rumlow snorted. “I gotta hand it to ya, you had us down quick. Team’s good.”

Steve smiled, and Peggy eyed him carefully. It wasn’t a real smile, because Steve’s real smiles still made her heart flutter a little, but there was enough sincerity in it to fool the people that didn’t quite know him as well as she did—or, she supposed, as well as Becca did.

Her goddaughter walked into the room and plopped down on the couch beside Steve, poking him in the arm immediately and drawing his attention away from the conversation.

Sharon and Thor filed into the room as well, and Peggy watched her niece as she sidled up beside her fiancé, leaning her hip against his shoulder until he slipped his arm around her waist and leaned in to press a light kiss to her cloth-covered hip.

Thor, on the other hand, fit himself into the narrow available space between Becca and Steve, jostling them both playfully as he settled, allowing Becca to lean up against him comfortably, slipping one hand to the curve of her stomach, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth.

Peggy smiled despite herself.

He did remind her so very much of Daniel, even in this.

Daniel had been sweet and nervous and in awe of her pregnancy too, and he had tried to wait on her hand and foot, even when it had made her want to shoot him more than it had helped.

She’d seen enough interaction between Thor and Becca to know their dynamic was similar, but also wildly different. Where Peggy had grated beneath Daniel’s care and constant attention, too independent and too unwilling to let loose her grasp on control, Becca seemed to find Thor’s constant gaze reassuring, and his touch calming.

“So,” Brock said, eyeing Sharon and Becca contemplatively. “You two gonna tell us what it is you’ve been whispering about all night?”

Peggy looked between the two as well. She had to admit she was rather curious too, because Becky had already informed her that it was actually Becca who had asked if she would host a dinner for all of them so she could give them some important news.

“Yes,” Becca said slowly, glancing towards Sharon and then Thor. “Yes, I think…” She exhaled shakily and set one hand on her stomach. “Well, I think you’ve all noticed I’m pregnant.”

Peggy snorted a laugh, and Steve rolled his eyes.

“Thor’s dad…” Becca continued slowly, “he… Well, he’s not been the most supportive about it.”

Thor leaned forward then, a determined, yet grave expression on his face. “My father is a most traditional man, when it suits him to be one. He has ratified laws that state that if I wish to be able to claim our child as mine—my heir—it must be born on Asgard.”

Peggy blinked.

“Oh,” she said.

Becca smiled tightly. “Because travel through the Bifrost is extremely taxing for humans as it is, I need to travel there before I hit twenty-eight weeks. Just to be safe. It’s like flying in the third trimester.”

A heavy silence followed her words, and Peggy tried to wrap her head around what that meant.

“You’re—you’re twenty-six weeks along, though,” Peggy asserted. “You would have to go within…”

“Within two weeks, yes,” Becca nodded, leaning back into Thor’s embrace. “And I would be gone for… for a while, probably. If Eir and Thor are right, I wouldn’t be up for any sort of Bifrost travel for quite some time after the baby’s born either. So I…” She looked at Sharon, who smiled encouragingly, and Peggy found she had an inkling of where this was going.

“I need a replacement for my position as official S.H.I.E.L.D. liaison to the Avengers,” Becca continued. “Someone the Avengers as a whole trust, so I…” She finally returned Sharon’s smile. “I thought of Sharon. I know you’ve… you’ve had a hard time at S.H.I.E.L.D. since… everything,” Becca’s voice lowered, and rage pulsed deep within Peggy’s veins at the mere mention of the absurd charges they’d tried to lay against her niece. “I hoped you might like a change of scenery,” Becca continued. “Some new colleagues.”

She chuckled and elbowed Steve in the side as she added, “Mind you, they’re a mad bunch, and you should never listen to Steve, even though he’s team leader, because he’s full of shit, but—”

“I am not,” Steve said, affronted.

“Oh darling,” Peggy sighed. “You always were a dramatic shit. It stands to reason that didn’t change.”

Brock guffawed and the others snickered at Steve’s expense, and Peggy smiled broadly at him.

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve huffed indignantly, crossing his arms over his chest. “Come on, Becs, you were telling us something big, remember?”

Becca smiled beatifically at him, and Peggy shook her head to clear it—it was difficult, in moments like these, to remember that she wasn’t back in the war, and that Becca wasn’t Bucky Barnes, ribbing Steve about something or the other while the rest of the Howlies laughed at them.  

Becky, God bless her, noticed her slip in attention, and patted her hand lightly on top of Peggy’s.

Peggy shot her a grateful smile before she focused her attention back on Becca.

“That’s mostly it,” Becca shrugged. “If Sharon agrees—”

“Oh, Sharon agrees,” the woman in question piped up from where she had settled on a second dining chair next to Brock, reaching out to take her fiancé’s hand. “It’ll be good to get away from S.H.I.E.L.D. for a bit,” she added sadly, and Peggy frowned.

It hurt, to think that the organisation she had built from the ground up was such a stifling place for her own niece now. It was so upsetting, in fact, that she nearly missed the scowl that marred Brock’s face before he schooled his face into a pretty convincing smile.

Nearly.

She eyed him shrewdly.

Did his jealousy of their acceptance of Thor run so deep that anything connected to him was automatically met with anger and resentment?

“—well,” Becca continued, grinning at Sharon, “then all that’s really left is me teaching you the ropes, and us coordinating moving to Asgard for the foreseeable future.” She looked back at Thor, who smiled tenderly at her before he leaned in to press a kiss to her temple.

“I’ll miss you, sweetheart,” Becky said quietly, and Peggy’s heart broke a little for her friend. Becky had raised Becca, thought of her as her daughter more than she did her actual daughter. It wasn’t easy for Peggy to know she’d miss the birth of Becca’s first—of their first great-grandchild—so it had to be agonising for Becky.

“About that,” Thor began. “If I may… I want to suggest that perhaps, you could accompany us. I’m sure it would mean a great deal to Rebecca to have you there,” he continued, and Peggy surmised from the stunned expression on Becca’s face that Thor’s suggestions was news to her too.

Becky blinked.

“Wouldn’t I be imposing?” she asked in a small, soft voice. “Your father hasn’t exactly been accepting of Becca—would he accept another human on Asgard?”

Thor shrugged. “That is really no concern of mine. He has made too many demands that we have been forced to concede to already. I will not stand for him removing Becca from her family when she needs them most.” His eyes softened, and Peggy was harshly reminded of Daniel, of the way he’d looked at her when she was being unreasonable, of the way he’d gone to bat for her when no one would even give her the time of day.

“Steve’s coming too,” Becca said, although she didn’t take her eyes off Thor. “For a bit.”

Peggy’s gaze swivelled to Steve, who nodded. “I haven’t put down the shield in almost a decade,” he said, and Peggy was fairly certain she wasn’t imagining the way his voice wavered a little. “What better time to take a break than now?” He shrugged and said, “Well, in a few weeks. I’ll have a few things to take care of before I can go too.”

“Just let me know when,” Becky said, startling Peggy a little. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

In a flash, Becca was up and flung her arms around her grandmother, and Peggy smiled lightly. She’d never gotten to have these kinds of moments with her own son—he’d passed away before he’d been able to marry, to have children, and Peggy had been left with no one until Tony was born, and then later Sharon and Becca.

She was glad that she would get to have these moments now, at least.

Becca’s children, Tony’s children, Sharon’s children—if she ever chose to have any—would be her great-grandchildren, and she would love them like they’d been Michael’s.

She leaned her shoulder into Steve’s when he sat beside her, taking her small, wrinkled hand in his.

“Almost feels perfect,” he said quietly, watching Becca and Becky with a very familiar gleam in his eye. “Doesn’t it?” He looked at her and squeezed her hand carefully—so very carefully.

Peggy knew everything he wasn’t saying.

They’d lost Timothy only a few months ago, and Gabe a year before that. Dernier, Morita, Falsworth and Barnes had been gone for so long they felt like distant memories to her, and the others were only a little fresher in her mind than that—although she supposed they were much fresher in Steve’s mind. They were the only ones left of their merry little band, and… she understood what he meant.

They still had family, and it felt almost like home—but nothing ever would without the others.

“Yes,” she agreed, leaning her cheek against his shoulder, taking comfort in his presence. “Almost.”

——————

THE EFFECT OF POPULAR CULTURE ON WARTIME PROPAGANDA: CAPTAIN AMERICA

The character of Captain America was created by Jack Kirby and Joe Simon at the instruction of Senator Brandt after Captain Steve Rogers—a soldier without a military rank at that time—received the super serum and successfully survived the procedure. The character that was based on Steve Rogers’ life and journey to become the first and only American super soldier first saw the light on March 10th, 1942 in what would become a monthly collection that ended in July 1949, for after the war people lost interest in these kinds of stories.

[…] Thus we can see the importance that offers this comic as a primary source, as well as being interesting to study the covert propaganda mechanisms. It also shows how people reacted to the horrors of war, especially those who felt that it was something that could happen to themselves, like the creators of Captain America. […] All the same, the collection of Captain America is most suitable for this type of study because we do not just see an imaginary superhero fighting Nazis and preventing them from seizing global control, but we see an American soldier and patriot fighting for his rights and his ideals.

This is something to keep in mind when analysing these comics because, after all, Steve Rogers is a soldier and a real man, rather than another superhero. There is no official report on how Captain Rogers felt about his life being used to create propaganda, although there are several interviews available with members of the Howling Commandos, who all imply with varying degrees of subtlety that the Captain was not a fan of being followed around by cameras during missions.

[…] Captain America has become a classical icon in the American culture over time, paraded about in comic books and films to promote what one can generally classify as “traditional Christian values”. An interesting, if not important, question one must ask themselves here is whether Captain Rogers supported those values himself. What little sources remain documenting the Captain’s life before he received the serum paint a picture that does not always fit with the image propaganda painted.

Rogers was, for example, the only child of a widowed, Irish immigrant mother, sickly and small in stature, and a card-carrying socialist whose arrest record was more impressive than several of today’s most well-known activists’. The only thing from his propaganda Captain Rogers ever openly agreed with was that he valued his new powers because he hadn’t always been this healthy—he used them to fight adversaries, Nazis and villainous HYDRA, to defend his homeland and principles because it was the right thing to do, not because he sought to fight anyone.

[…] also in one of the first issues of the Captain America comics after Captain Rogers’ rescue of the 107th Regiment from Azzano, we are introduced to his inseparable partner, Bucky, who is the mascot of the 107th regiment in the comic books. This character soon became almost as popular as Captain America, because children didn’t have to dream about superheroes anymore—they could be one even when they were as young as Bucky Barnes.

Of course, James Buchanan Barnes, the inspiration for the character, was no child, nor a simple mascot for the 107th Regiment. The decision to make a grown man, who was an accomplished soldier that made the rank of Sergeant before he finished boot camp and was handpicked for extended training as an expert marksman, was almost definitely a carefully considered one.

He was Captain Rogers’ childhood best friend and rumoured to be the reason Captain Rogers’ decided to save the imprisoned soldiers at Azzano. His influence on Captain Rogers, both as a comic book character and as his real-life right-hand man, is undeniable and must be considered in the context of this study. […] little is known how Sergeant Barnes felt about his comic book character, although several of the surviving members of the Howling Commandos have implied that neither Barnes nor Rogers were particularly pleased with their fictive counterparts.

[…] on the pages of this comic, the fears and concerns of the American society at the time, regarding their ideas about the war and the Germans, are reflected.

[…] nevertheless, it should be noted that Captain America was meant to be a figure that brings hope to the society, to bring it together to overcome the crisis. Not only this, with his ideals based on the reform of the New Deal, they could recover it to set a perfect example to try to carry out a new economic change. […] even after Sergeant’s Barnes’ and Captain Rogers’ untimely and tragic demises, the figures of Captain America and Bucky Barnes continued growing, expanding and reaching mythical proportions.

With Captain Rogers’ miraculous recovery and revival, and his subsequent breakdown of everything the public has been fed by propaganda during the last sixty years, the question has arisen of how much of written wartime history is correct, and how much of it is the result of propaganda made real by fictional characters.

[…] perhaps we live in a historic moment in time in which we need to appeal to the fictional characters to find heroes and role models that everyone should and could follow.

—Marina Chorro Giner, “Political Propaganda during WWII: Captain America”, unpublished article on academia.edu about the influence of popular culture as political propaganda during WWII, March 2013

———————

Tony Stark’s Personal Lab, Avengers Tower, Manhattan, New York, United States of America

12:23 A.M., 28 April 2016

Tony

Tony was a few hours into his favorite, semi-hazy mindset, tinkering with one of his newer prototypes—a modified version of the Mark IV suit, possibly designed with specs of every individual Avenger in mind, just in case—grease smeared across his cheek and all over his shirt when the elevator dinged pleasantly, and a heavily pregnant Pepper waddled into his workshop, one hand supporting her belly and the other pressed to her lower back.

Tony dropped his screwdriver and shot to his feet, rushing towards his girlfriend. “Hey Pep,” he said gently, because last week he’d greeted her too loudly and she’d cried for an hour and then yelled at Rhodey for not getting her French fries.

Tony was a genius. He occasionally learned from his mistakes—and the first thing he’d learned during Pepper’s pregnancy was to not aggravate or question the expectant mommy.

“What’re you doing down here?” he added, subtly walking her to the ultra-comfortable couch he’d put in his lab because Pepper—and occasionally Becca, when she got bored and needed to rib someone other than Cap—wandered down here to find him regularly.

“It’s late,” she told him reproachfully. “Rhodey’s not here to cuddle me, so you have to.” She tugged on his hand and frowned at him. “Come to bed with me.”

Usually, Pepper telling him to come to bed did the trick fine—Tony really did have a hard time saying no to her in general, and it was twice as bad now that she was pregnant and he owed her because “she was letting his spawn dance on her bladder for nine months”, and really, he couldn’t argue with that.

Of course, Pepper used that argument on him and Rhodey for everything—ranging from letting her have the last slice of bacon to driving to the grocery store in the middle of the night to get her the good kind of chocolate, because it “just wasn’t the same” if they got it delivered—but that didn’t make it any less effective.

Tony looked longingly over his shoulder at the suit he’d been working on.

Pepper sighed. “Alright. Compromise. Show me what you’re working on first, then bed.”

Tony beamed and led her back to the workbench, plopping down on his seat and gesturing to the suit—that would fit Cap’s dorito-esque proportions perfectly once it was finished—excitedly while he explained the features he’d built into it. Pepper smiled indulgently at him, rubbing her fingers through his loose, curly hair—he hadn’t put any product in it today, and he knew she liked it best that way.

“Steve’ll definitely appreciate it,” she told him when he fell silent.

Tony sighed and leaned forward, resting his forehead against the swell of her stomach, letting his eyes drift shut for a moment. He hadn’t slept in a while, because… because he needed to be sure that everything was ready, was safe by the time the baby—babies—would arrive, and he didn’t have a lot of time left.

Pep was due in five weeks—Becca in thirteen.

Sure, Becca wouldn’t be in the Tower for a while after the baby was born, and she was probably going to be safer on Asgard than anywhere else, but… just in case.

Just in case any of his nightmares turned out to be true.

He was pulled from his thoughts by a dull thump against his forehead. He looked up and blinked at Pepper, who was clearly fighting a smile.

“Was that—” he said, astonished, “Did my own kid just kick me in the head?”

Pepper snorted a laugh and Tony gaped at her. “My kid kicked me,” he repeated, slightly hysterically.

“Kid’s got good sense already,” someone said from behind him, and Tony whirled around on his wheelie chair to find the fucking Widow and her younger, redder shadow crowded in his doorway.

“Well, fuck you too,” Tony blurted, although he winced as Pepper smacked the back of his head for cursing in front of the—unborn—baby.

“We have to talk to you,” Wanda said slowly, accent lightly coloring her words. “We have…” she frowned and looked to Nat with a light frown, “…discovered something. Possibly.”

Pepper huffed a sigh. “You can have him for thirty minutes. No longer,” she said sternly, wagging her finger at the two other women. “It’s late and I need sleep, and I need my favorite teddy bear in my bed—preferably after he’s showered the grease off.”

Widow smirked. “Yes, ma’am.”

With that, Pepper waddled out of the lab, leaving Tony alone with their resident lethally reds. “Okay,” he said. “Well. Whaddya got?”

----------------------------

Poetic Edda – Hovamol – stanza 81 to 89

“Give praise to the day at evening, to a woman on her pyre, to a weapon which is tried, to a maid at wedlock, to ice when it is crossed, to ale that is drunk.

When the gale blows hew wood, in fair winds seek the water, sport with maidens at dusk, for day’s eyes are many; from the ship seek swiftness, from the shield protection, from the sword cuts and from the maiden kisses.

By the fire drink ale, over ice go on skates; buy a steed that is lean and a sword when tarnished.

A man shall trust not the oath of a maid, nor the word a woman speaks, for their hearts on a whirling wheel were fashioned, and fickle their breasts were formed.

In a breaking bow or a burning flame, a ravening wold or a croaking raven, in a grunting boar, a tree with roots broken, in billowy seas or a bubbling kettle, in a flying arrow or falling waters.

In ice new formed or the serpents folds, in a bride’s bed-speech or a broken sword; in the sport of bears or in sons of kings. In a calf that is sick, or a stubborn thrall, a flattering witch or a foe new slain.

In a light, clear sky or a laughing throng, in the bowl of a dog or a harlot’s grief!

In a brother’s slayer, if thou meet him abroad, in a half-burned house, in a horse full swift; one leg hurt and the horse is useless… None had ever such faith as to trust in them all.”

—Predictions of Odin One-Eyed, King of Asgard and the Nine, as quoted by Snorri

--------------------------------

Tony Stark’s Personal Lab, Avengers Tower, Manhattan, New York, United States of America

2 A.M., 28 April 2016

Steve

Steve yawned and rubbed his hand through his undoubtedly messy hair.

He had rolled straight out of bed when J.A.R.V.I.S. had called for him, and the only reason he hadn’t rolled right into the suit was because the A.I. had assured him it wasn’t an Assemble-call. He had, thus, not made a lot of effort, and wandered down to Tony’s lab in his pyjama’s.

His only concession to social convention had been to pull on an incredibly soft t-shirt, and thick, woollen socks that Thor had once gifted him.

“Tony,” he complained as soon as the elevator doors opened, “why am I here? I could be sleeping.”

He stopped short when he caught sight of Natasha and Wanda, both gaping at him with parted lips, Tony standing a little behind them, his hair wild and curly and his expression sheepish.

“You woke him up for this?” Natasha demanded, rounding on Tony with a mighty frown. “I thought we agreed to wait until tomorrow, at least—J.A.R.V.I.S. hasn’t even finished processing all the information!” She gestured towards the large holographic screen angrily, and Steve looked too, unsure of what he was looking at.

“I didn’t agree to anything,” Tony protested. “You said—”

“We don’t know anything!” Natasha bit out harshly, uncharacteristically emotional and expressive.

“He should know!” Tony argued.

Nat opened her mouth to argue back, but Steve had had enough. “Guys!” he yelled, startling them all. “What do I need to know?”

Tony blinked wide-eyed at him. “Uh,” he said. “See. The thing is…” He stopped and looked helplessly at Natasha, who had her arms crossed over her chest and was glaring at him.

“Steve,” Wanda said timidly from where she stood, slightly behind Natasha, her eyes wide and imploring. “I didn’t want to tell you unless I was sure.” She had pulled the sleeves of her long t-shirt down over her hands and was fiddling with the edges nervously. Steve hadn’t seen her look this withdrawn and nervous in… God, he didn’t even know how long, and he didn’t like it.

“Tell me what, kid?” he asked, careful to keep his tone calmer than before.

“We think Hydra might be back,” Tony blurted, before his eyes went wide again and he clapped his own hands over his mouth.

Steve stared at him.

“That’s not funny,” he croaked, his hands curling into fists at the mere idea. “That’s not fucking funny.”

Natasha looked at him, for the first time since she’d turned from him to yell at Tony, and her eyes were so sad, so horribly sad, that it made his skin crawl. He stood stock still as she approached, didn’t move when she laid a hand on his arm, didn’t breathe as she said, softly, “No one’s laughing, Steve.”

“I destroyed them,” he said, a little desperate. “I burned them to the ground, and I salted the earth, I made sure nothing was left.” He didn’t realize how loud he was speaking until the ringing silence that followed the last, shouted word. “I died destroying them,” he whispered. “They’re gone. Tony, you’re—you’re wrong.”

“It wasn’t Tony,” Wanda said quietly, and Steve startled at the sound of her voice.

“What?”

“It wasn’t Tony,” she repeated. “I found them. And we’re not sure, but… we’re as sure as we can be.”

Steve noted, right then, that his breathing was more unsteady than it had been since he’d received the serum. He felt like he was having an asthma attack for the first time in eighty years.

He couldn’t say he’d missed it.

He sat, heavily, in the nearest wheelie chair and stared at his hands—he’d killed, pretty indiscriminately, with these hands, had tried to raze everything even remotely related to Hydra to the ground with these hands—and wondered if everything he’d done, if everything he’d died for…

If it had all been for nothing.

“Tell me,” he finally whispered hoarsely, lifting his gaze from his hands to look at his teammates—his friends. “Tell me everything.”

—————————

E 206th Street, The Bronx, New York City, New York, United States of America

28 April 2016

Brock Rumlow

“Look,” Brock said patiently, slowly, because he knew he was pushing the line here, and that this whole thing could backfire on him very easily. “I’m not saying that I don’t think it’s a good idea, or that I don’t think you could and should do it.” He pushed up from the bed he shared with Sharon and walked over to where she stood, arms crossed over her chest and frowning.

“Shar,” he cajoled, trailing his hands down her upper arms. “I’m so proud of you. And of course, you should absolutely take this amazingopportunity, I’m just…” he shrugged and schooled his face into something semi-hurt. “I just wish I’d been part of the conversation, you know? We’re… I mean,” he sighed. “We’re supposed to be doing all of this together, right? And making huge, career-defining decisions are a part of that, aren’t they?”

He could see Sharon’s anger melting away, replaced by something sheepish—something he had been hoping to incite in her. He was desperately trying to salvage whatever he could from the flaming wreckage that had been his plan to turn Sharon.

In his defence, it had been working—Sharon had been relying on him, mostly, had been talking much more warmly about his fellow S.T.R.I.K.E. agents, who had been vocal about their support of her, while still feeding into the rumours about her supposed misconduct, and Brock had been so close to gently suggesting that maybe they should spend more time with those kinds of people…

With the people that believed her, that didn’t perpetuate a false, twisted version of her, with people like her and Brock—

And then it all got fucked up.

He’d been planning on how to turn Sharon for years, had set everything into motion years ago, had been working it—on her—for the longest time before fucking Rebecca Barnes and her meddlesome band of Avengers had ruined everything.

Fuck those fucking bastards.

And fuck fucking Rebecca Barnes for giving Sharon options.

For getting her away from S.H.I.E.L.D. and from Brock’s direct influence and fuck her for doing it so smoothly and sneakily and fucking publicly that he hadn’t been able to do anything but nod along.

All he could do now was try to pick up whatever pieces were left and try to formulate something new, something equally good or better, something that would get Pierce to listen to him, to acknowledge him and to recognise the work he did for the betterment of Hydra.

“You’re right,” Sharon sighed, arms falling to her side as she leaned back against their dresser. “You’re right, I’m sorry, I should’ve talked about it with you. I just…” she threw her hands up in exasperation and shook her head. “I was so excited, so thrilled by the idea of getting away from it all that I just…” she hesitated. “I just didn’t think about it and said yes.”

Brock lifted a hand to stroke his fingers through her thick, blonde hair as he must’ve done hundreds, if not thousands of times before in the past five years, and heaved a sigh.

Really, he might have grown to like Sharon more, over time, if she’d let him turn her.

She was fucking smart, and if he hadn’t been quite so good an actor, she’d have seen through him years ago, and it didn’t hurt that she was easy on the eyes either.

Not to mention that the sex was fantastic.

It really was too bad she was so independent and opinionated.

So mouthy.

He could’ve put up with her overbearing aunt and Rogers and Barnes if she’d just been a little more… a little more docile, a little more receptive to his needs.

If she would’ve let him turn her to Hydra, rather than take the first opportunity that led away from him with both hands, not even bothering to look back.

Some fiancée she was.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, before she leaned in and kissed him.

He kissed back automatically, without thinking much about it—it’d become a reflex, after all this time—trying to consider what he was going to do now. What use did he have for Sharon now that it had become glaringly obvious that he was never going to be able to turn her unless he would entirely rewrite her memory, like they’d done to the Soldier.

Unlike the Soldier though, Sharon would likely not survive the procedure.

Barnes, however… much as she aggravated him just by existing, Barnes had the exact potential that Sharon now lacked.

He needed access to Barnes, to the Avengers and their plans—

Brock broke the kiss abruptly, leaning back far enough to see Sharon’s quizzical expression.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, forehead creasing into a frown.

“Nothing,” he shrugged, eyeing her carefully, fingers tightening in her hair. “Sorry babe. This ain’t personal.” He abruptly tightened his hand into a fist and yanked, smashing Sharon’s head against the dresser as hard as he could. She gave a yelp that abruptly cut off when she hit the hardwood surface, and dropped like a sack of bricks when he let go off her, falling to the floor of their bedroom in an inelegant heap.

Brock eyed her prone body.

Well. That was step one.

He pulled his phone from his pocket and shot a quick text to Jack Rollins.

Time to implement step two and work out the rest of the plan.

HYDRA had sat back and watched Barnes and the Avengers mess up their plans for too long. It was high time to remind Barnes of her place in the world—not a future princess of fucking Asgard, but a future Soldier of Hydra.

—————————

Start from the beginning:

In Hell We Stand By You:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8)

Never Feel Alone:

(1) (2)

Decisions: (1)

Dancing with a Limp:

(1) (2)

Chances:

(1)

Starting Over:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8)

Dancing in the Rain: 

(1)

Or read it HERE on AO3 :D Find the next chapter HERE on Tumblr :)

[writing-in-the-impala]

Hey Darling: Part 7

Pairing: Rob Benedict x Reader 

Series Summary: You’re new to conventions but its okay because you meet some pretty amazing people, including Rob Benedict.

Warnings: Angst, fluff, I’m just here to play with your emotions basically, swearing

Word Count: 2190

A/N: Have yet another chapter I feel like this is around a half way point for this fic. enjoy, also don’t forget feedback is really appreciated because I want to make my fics better.

Part 6 | Hey Darling Masterlist

  You arrived at the convention late in the evening on Friday, you decided to check the group chat to see what's going on, the girls were recording videos of drunk greenroom baseball, you decided to go and join everyone. When you walked in everyone welcomed you, you couldn't help to notice that Rob wasn't in the room. Not too long after you arrived Rob and Rich walked back into the greenroom with bags of alcohol. "We bought more booze!" They announced and everyone cheered. Rob said hi to you as if nothing ever happened and it was a good night, you were friends? Maybe more acquaintances. But luckily you guys were fine.

Saturday went by smoothly, you spent lunch with Kim, Ruth and Rob, talking like normal. "No Rob you're wrong. It was 'no I am your father' he never says Luke." You said.

"I agree with Y/N on this one." Kim backed you up.

"Fine I'll check on YouTube." Rob said pulling out his phone to check who was quoting star wars correctly.

"Y/N your photo ops start in five minutes we need to go." Your handler said.

"Okay, but we're gonna finish this discussion later." You said standing up and leaving.

"Yeah okay, enjoy the ops." Rob said as you walked away.

"Thanks bye." You replied leaving the room.

After the photo ops you had a panel you went backstage and not too long after Rob and Rich were introducing you.

"Okay before we let Y/N get on with the panel I have a question for everyone is it Luke I am your father or no I am your father?" Rob said making you laugh shaking your head. Most people cheered for what the first option and Rob was happy he had won. "Ha! Told you." He said making you laugh.

"Not so quickly let's play a clip of it shall we?" You said pulling up the video on YouTube and it turned out you were right. You started to celebrate with a little dance and jump around stage and Rob pouted. You were happy to be able to do bits like that with him again. Your panel went by smoothly and after the panel you had some free time where you could chill, you were sitting talking with Rob about something when all of a sudden Rich came up to your face with his phone. "What the-" you started before he shouted "Dickchat!" And Rob laughed, "finally he's doing it to someone else." Rob said and Rich went up to him with the phone.

"What did you say?" Rich said putting the phone in Rob's face.

"I- I said t-t-that I love Dickchat." he said with a grin before you and Rob bursted out laughing.

The rest of the convention day went by quickly and you were excited to go to the bar after SNS. You were all sitting on a large booth, Rob was opposite you and Kim was next to you as you sat on the edge. You were just chatting away when someone poked your shoulder. "Y/N?" The person said and you looked at them to see your old buddy Max.

"Max! Oh my god." You nearly screamed jumping up to hug him. "Sorry," you apologised. "Anyway guys do you mind if my friend sits with us? If you want of course." You said and everyone agreed, you introduced Max to everybody and he simply said "I'm sorry I'll probably forget all you names when I have a couple drinks." Making even laugh, Max always was a people pleaser.

"So what are you doing in Chicago?" Max asked you.

"Oh we're all working." You answered taking a swig of your beer.

"I need to get into acting if all you do is drink." He said and you and Kim laughed as everyone else was having their own conversions.

"So what do you do?" Kim asked.

" He's a musician." You said and Max playfully slapped you.

"I'm not." He said.

"You are."

"I'm not I'm a tour manager, I'm right now managing Green Day." Max explained.

"Wow that impressive." Kim said amazed.

"Yeah and he's a musician." You said dreamily.

"I'm not." Max said looking at you accusingly. "She just thinks I am." He added.

"Why does she think that?" Rob asked after silently listening to the conversation.

"Because he plays live music at clubs, he's amazing." You said.

"I'm not amazing." Max said.

"True Robbie's better but you're a close second." You said making Rob blush slightly but he was still disliking this interaction and your extremely flirty attitude towards this new guy.

"You play?" Max asked Rob with a genuine smile.

"Yeah, I'm in a band Louden Swain." Rob said trying to look laid back but you could see he was uncomfortable around Max.

"That's cool, where do you guys play?" Max asked.

"Oh at conventions, sometimes at random venues around the US mostly and some places around LA my other band the Station Breaks recently played at the attic sounds." He said taking a drink of his beer.

"Awesome I play there a lot actually." Max said.

"Funny I never met you." Rob said looking down sort of spitefully.

"Yeah well I haven't seen this girl in like what four months and we're practically neighbours." Max said putting an arm around you.

"Really?" Rob questioned lifting an eyebrow.

"Yeah he lives on the same street, oh how's Jessie?" You questioned Max about his long term boyfriend.

"We broke up." Max said  looking down sadly.

"Aw baby are you okay?" You asked hugging Max.

"Yeah, ate loads of ice cream watched some Rom Coms and read some books while crying so now I'm better." Max said and you laughed slightly.

"Should've called me up I was doing the same thing." You said before smashing a hand over your mouth.

"Really? Did you get back with-"

"Oh no, oh god no, I started dating someone new," you said glancing to Rob who was intensely gazing at you and Max. "Um, yeah it was great for some time and then I fucked it up and spent like a week at work just crying in my trailer over a good book." You said and Max gave you a hug.

"This is why we need to stay in touch more." He said and you nodded, the conversation soon changed and the beers changed to shots.

"We will, we will rock you

We will we will rock you." You, Kim, Max and Matt sang along to the music. You were looking straight at Rob smiling to him and he was smiling back as he applauded the four of you.

"Oooo." You said as you heard the next song come on. "Max it's our song." You said and everyone looked at the two of you.

"Well then we have to sing along." He said making everyone laugh.

"When I'm telling a story And you find it boring your thinking of something to say You'll go along with and then drop it And you Humiliate me, in front of our friends."

You start in the middle of the first verse, laughing after the verse.

Then I'll use that voice what you find annoyin' And say something like "Intelligent input darlin' why don't you just have another beer then?"

Everyone was smiling including Rob who you were looking at.

"Then you call me a bitch"

Then you did something stupid on "you" you pointed to Rob but luckily no one but Rob really noticed it.

" and everyone we're with will be embarrassed, And I won't give a shit"

You rolled your eyes along with the words using gestures as if you and Max were performing the song.

"You said I must eat so many lemons, Cause I am so bitter I said "I'd rather be with your friends mate, Cause they are much fitter"

You pointed to Max for the "you" when for the "friends" you  pointed around the group with smirk and Kim just said "yep I'm fitter." Making everyone laugh.

"Yes it was childish And you got aggressive And I must admit that I was a bit scared, But it gives me thrills to wind you up."

Now you were looking at Rob again who decided it was enough. Max had a arm around you and it was frustrating Rob.

"My fingertips are holding onto the Cracks in our foundations, And I know that I should let go, But I can't."

"Sorry to interrupt but I'm going to the hotel bye everyone." Rob said standing up and getting out as fast as possible.

"He has a nice ass." Max said watching Rob walk away.

"Back off he's hers." Kim said to Max.

"You like him?" Max asked.

"I love him but got drunk and cheated and now he's walking away in a strop I'm sorry but I'm going to follow him I'll talk to you later Max okay? Bye everyone." You said standing up and following Rob.

"Rob!" You shouted once you were outside but he just kept walking so you began running after him. "Rob!" You shouted again. "Robert Patrick Benedict!" You shouted and he stopped.

"You know my middle name?" He questioned.

"Of course I know your middle name Rob, I know your mom's name is Vivian, your dad was a dick and your older sister is called Amy and your brothers name is called  Matt and apparently he's ridiculously tall, you love the Bachelor and when you met Eddie Vedder you asked someone to ask him for a cigarette but Eddie heard you and handed you a cigarette, funny thing you don't smoke. You told me all this Rob, I know you."

"I can't believe you remember that." He said with his hands in his pockets looking down at his shoes.

"Of course I do, why did you storm out and leave?" You asked him and he looked up.

"God damn Y/N do you think I like watching you flirt with Max? Of course I left."

"Me? Flirting with- wait a second is that why you're in a mood? I would never date Max." You said slightly laughing at the absurd suggestion, I mean Max kept talking about hot guys in the bar and about his ex boyfriend plus he checked Rob out.

"Oh I'm sorry of course you wouldn't date Mr green day tour manager, oh and he's a musician isn't that great, he's also hot and young I mean jackpot." Rob said angrily.

"Yeah he's pretty dreamy I don't understand why you aren't dating him yet I mean even when you were leaving he said you have a hot ass."

"Wait what?" Rob said confused.

"He's gay! Like full on we went to pride last year together I can show you the photos of him kissing a guy while wearing rainbow everything gay." You said breathing out a deep sigh and Rob started to chuckle shaking his head.

"Wow so you think I have a chance?" Rob asked and you playfully slapped his arm. "I'll take that as a no." He said with a smile.

"Rob?" You didn't really know what you were about to say.

"Hm?" He questioned.

"Can we talk? About us?" You questioned quietly looking down at your feet. Rob bought a hand up to the back of his neck and rubbed it with a sigh.

"Y/N..." He said with a sigh.

"Okay I get it you don't want to talk about this, let's go back to being fake friends." You said lifting your hands up in defeat.

"You think I'm faking it? Y/N I love spending time with you, you make me laugh more than anyone else, I'm not faking our friendship."

"Then do you want to go back to my room and watch a movie, as friends?" You asked hopefully.

"Definitely." He said and the two of you walked back to the hotel. So you went back to your room with Rob to watch a movie as friends, you decided it wasn't weird to lay in together watching a movie as friends so you did, the next morning you woke up cuddled up against Rob who's arm was around you as he slept, you began to move and get your phone off the night stand to check the time accidentally waking Rob up in the process.

"Morning." He said with a sexy morning voice that made you crazy but you had to act casual.

"Shit! It's nearly 9 o'clock we have to be downstairs soon." You said in panic. "Oh yeah and good morning." You added in a more calmly making Rob chuckle.

"You're so cute when you're rushing, good night." Rob said pulling the covers back up and closing his eyes again.

"Benedict you have to get out of bed." You said pulling the covers off and ignoring his comment.

"Five more minutes." He said pulling the covers back up.

"No." You said taking the covers completely off him and dragging them to the bathroom with you.

"Ugh, fine." You heard from the other side of the door. "I'll see you downstairs Y/N, bye." He shouted so you heard him.

"Bye." You shouted back as you began to brush your teeth.

Part 8

Big thanks to @mr-robenedict for creating these gifs for me

People who wish they woke up in a bed next to Rob : @waywardswain @supernatural-everyday @winchestergirl-13 @perksofbeingafangirl26 @natasha-cole @girl-next-door-writes @itsfunnierin-enochian

[tshirttrend]

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My brother, I feel, is going down that route Star wars darth vader come to the dark side we have beer shirt . He’s extremely defensive, thinks everyone is against him, speaks to my mum in ways I’ve never even imagine were possible for someone with basic respect. Parents are hoping he comes around. He’s the only boy and second last out of 4 kids so we’ve been giving him leeway. But I don’t know when it’s teenage angst and when it’s becoming something more serious. I WAS going down that path, but I’m glad I had the Internet to sort out the fact that I’m transgender and get the help I needed to calm myself. I think that if I didn’t know about the transition. Star wars darth vader come to the dark side we have beer shirt, hoodie, sweater, longsleeve and ladies t-shirt

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Unisex  I would have continued down a dark path of not getting treatment and continually being more and more unwell Star wars darth vader come to the dark side we have beer shirt . Now, I have a doctorate, I make six figures in a career that I love, and I’m working hard to wrap up my transition. These websites create an echo chamber of negativity. Kontra points did a really interesting video on incels and the addiction to having their opinions reaffirmed. (Like the rate me threads.) They’re depressed, angry, and suicidal, but because they’re constantly visiting these forums, there’s absolutely nothing a loved one can say can knock them out of it. Especially when they keep going to a place where they’re being reminded that suicide is the only answer. The comments have given me hope, though. It sounds like a lot of guys do eventually pull themselves out of there. She seems incredibly intelligent and her videos are interesting enough to keep my attention. I like Sean, but sometimes his voice is too soothing so I zone out and miss everything he said lol But I love his videos for fact-checking alt-right commentators. Let me put it this way, if you’re actually concerned you’re going to end up like OP’s kid then you’re already better than OP’s kid. If you’re sad talk to somebody if you feel isolated force yourself out of your comfort zone if you feel bitter try to remind yourself that the world isn’t the hellscape we often like to think it is. There is love in this world, and there are kindness and opportunity for everybody. Don’t worry yourself about politics, don’t worry about impressing anybody, just be kind and open to new things and sooner or later things will get better. Life might not ever be perfect, but how we approach even its worst parts is what separates a good person, or a happy person even, from a bad one. You Can See More Product: https://luxuryt-shirt.com/product-category/trending/ Read the full article

[luxuryt-shirt]

Star wars darth vader come to the dark side we have beer shirt

My brother, I feel, is going down that route Star wars darth vader come to the dark side we have beer shirt . He’s extremely defensive, thinks everyone is against him, speaks to my mum in ways I’ve never even imagine were possible for someone with basic respect. Parents are hoping he comes around. He’s the only boy and second last out of 4 kids so we’ve been giving him leeway. But I don’t know when it’s teenage angst and when it’s becoming something more serious. I WAS going down that path, but I’m glad I had the Internet to sort out the fact that I’m transgender and get the help I needed to calm myself. I think that if I didn’t know about the transition. Star wars darth vader come to the dark side we have beer shirt, hoodie, sweater, longsleeve and ladies t-shirt

Classic Ladies

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Unisex  I would have continued down a dark path of not getting treatment and continually being more and more unwell Star wars darth vader come to the dark side we have beer shirt . Now, I have a doctorate, I make six figures in a career that I love, and I’m working hard to wrap up my transition. These websites create an echo chamber of negativity. Kontra points did a really interesting video on incels and the addiction to having their opinions reaffirmed. (Like the rate me threads.) They’re depressed, angry, and suicidal, but because they’re constantly visiting these forums, there’s absolutely nothing a loved one can say can knock them out of it. Especially when they keep going to a place where they’re being reminded that suicide is the only answer. The comments have given me hope, though. It sounds like a lot of guys do eventually pull themselves out of there. She seems incredibly intelligent and her videos are interesting enough to keep my attention. I like Sean, but sometimes his voice is too soothing so I zone out and miss everything he said lol But I love his videos for fact-checking alt-right commentators. Let me put it this way, if you’re actually concerned you’re going to end up like OP’s kid then you’re already better than OP’s kid. If you’re sad talk to somebody if you feel isolated force yourself out of your comfort zone if you feel bitter try to remind yourself that the world isn’t the hellscape we often like to think it is. There is love in this world, and there are kindness and opportunity for everybody. Don’t worry yourself about politics, don’t worry about impressing anybody, just be kind and open to new things and sooner or later things will get better. Life might not ever be perfect, but how we approach even its worst parts is what separates a good person, or a happy person even, from a bad one. You Can See More Product: https://luxuryt-shirt.com/product-category/trending/ Read the full article

[trbl-will-find-me]

Every Exit, An Entrance 5/?

There are two (and only two) possibilities: either she led XCOM to victory and they are now engaged in a clean up operation of alien forces, or XCOM was overrun, clearing the way for an alien-controlled puppet government to seize control of the planet.

She’d really like to figure out which it is, but asking hardly seems the prudent option. Chapter CW: Explicit mention of suicide, no character death

She’s on her way to Mission Control when Royston flags her down with a piece of paper reading “HELP.” With the operative on the phone, she can only manage to shrug and mouth “What’s wrong?”

Royston rests the phone on her shoulder, jots down a note on the reverse of the page, and holds it up again: Parents.

The Commander motions for the paper and pencil, scribbling down her own response: Not happy w/ news?

Again, a transference of supplies.

Understatement, written in thick letters and underlined.

Why?

B/c “can’t marry someone you’ve only known since March.”

The Commander grimaces. She can appreciate Royston’s parents’ concern, but they have no idea what their daughter’s relationship has already endured. Oh brother, she writes back.

End me. Please.

Think Martin might be upset.

What makes you think his parents took it any better?

The Commander’s eyebrows shoot up and the other woman nods. There was shouting, she writes. A lot of it.

??

Nine months. Not French. Where live. Etc. You could mercy kill us both.

And then Central would kill me. Very bloody.

Royston shrugs, then nods.

Tell her you have to go, your CO needs you.

“Mom, mom, mom,” Royston says. “Mom, I love you, but we gotta table this. Mom, yes, I hear you. Mom, I gotta … Mom, duty … Mom, I love --- Mom, I’ll call you back. We’ve got a meeting. Yeah, the Commander is right here. She’s literally standing right here. Tapping her foot. You want me to put her on? No? Okay, good. Love you.” She sets down the phone and shakes her head. “Eloping is starting to look like a viable option,” she says, turning her attention to the Commander. “Skip all the bullshit.”

“You’d really want to cut them out?”

Royston shrugs. “I want to get married to the person I want to get married to where and how I want. We want,” she corrects herself. “If that means cutting them out, then, well. We’ll have a nice reception breakfast or something to make it up to them.”

“You’re resourceful people,” the Commander offers. “You’ll figure it out.”

“Part of me just wants to say fuck it and just do it here.”

“The base? It’s not exactly a scenic venue, Royston.”

“Yeah, but it’s one where we can’t invite anyone. Besides, everyone’s already here.“

“No friends on the outside?”

“I mean, yeah, but … “ She’s quiet for a minute. “These are the people we went through hell with. They’re the ones who watched this all happen, who,” she laughs. “Facilitated when we couldn’t get it together. They’re the ones who matter.”

The Commander considers this for a moment. “Well, think about it. If that’s really what you want, you’ve got my support.”

“Really?”

She shrugs. “I don’t totally endorse giant metal bunker as a wedding venue, but it’s not my wedding. If this is really where you want to have it, we’ll find a way.”

A crazy grin breaks out across Royston’s face. “Can I get back to you?”

“Yeah. It’s an open offer.”

“Thanks, Commander,” the sniper says, standing, “Let’s go see if I can sell him on this.”

“Good luck,” she grins. “I’ll be upstairs.”

Watching the operative head towards quarters, it finally dawns on her that she’ll need to explain this to Central. She laughs, and buries her face in her hands. It’s not the worst problem to have.

-- Kelly aims her shotgun at the Sectoid and pulls the trigger, splattering its blood across the ground.

“Good job, Menace. Looks like you’re clear on hostiles for the moment. Finish tagging those crates and let’s get you home,” the Commander says.

“Yes, ma’am!” Gunda calls cheerfully.

On the whole, it’s been a clean op. They’ve netted badly needed medical and construction supplies as well as, she hopes, additional intel from two datapads lifted from corpses. She doesn’t necessarily bear any confidence in her skills, but she’s at least comforted by the slow improvement in her men’s aim.

The air lifts in from Firebrand continue through the afternoon, and the unboxing well into the evening. Lily’s workshop slowly wills with new components and datapads to be reformatted, scrubbed clean of ADVENT programming. Tygan seems pleased to have his cabinets restocked, and everyone is grateful for new clothing, the abundance of toiletries, and the not insignificant ammo cache. The Armory looks more like a warehouse than Christmas morning, but the sentiment remains the same.

--

They’re eating dinner in the Situation Room, data on the energy spikes from the past week spread out in front of them. Each spike is pinpointed on the screen, along with a time, date, and amplitude. Save for the common link of alien incursions, there is no commonality. No consistent interval. While she has no doubt that there is a pattern, the more she stares, the more random it appears.

“Ugh,” she groans, burying her head in her hands. “What am I missing?”

“Commander,” Central says, voice gentle.

“There has to be something.”

“Commander.”

“We can’t get caught off guard again.”

“Commander.”

“We can’t afford a repeat of that site recon incident.”

“Elizabeth.”

“I hate to use the phrase ‘we got lucky’ when we lost an entire town, a Coast Guard team, and half of our squad –because that feels gauche– but ---“

“Lizzie.”

It’s enough to jar her from her train of thought. ”John?”

“You couldn’t have seen it coming. None of us could have. Chryssalids in a whale carcass on a fishing vessel? Come on. It ran counter to all the data we had.”

“There had to have been something I missed. We knew they could incubate in human hosts; it wasn’t a stretch to think they could take root in other mammals.”

“But we didn’t have evidence for it. You’re a good strategist, but even you’re not omniscient.”

She pinches the bridge of her nose. “We’ve had too many close calls. I’d like to get out in front before we have another.”

“If there’s a pattern, you’ll figure it out. And that’s a big if.”

“And what if I can’t?” She asks, voice tinged with worry. “What if I can’t put it together and they come barging down our door again?”

“It’s not gonna happen.”

“You seem awfully certain of that.”

“Molchetti knocked the ship out of existence. The clean up ops we’ve run have been a few stray craft, or a cell that’s broken cover. They’ve been small.”

“What if they’re just biding their time, trying to lull us into a sense of security?”

“We’ll push them back again. We always find a way.”

“I wish I had your faith.”

“Not faith. Evidence. You’ve got a track record now.”

She tips her head against his shoulder. “Well, you may start doubting that track record pretty soon.”

“Doubtful.”

She takes a deep breath, as if she were preparing to rip off a bandaid. “I volunteered the base as a wedding venue.”

He looks down at her with the same face he’d made when she’d jumped in the pool outside of Rome, that same mix of profound amusement and utter bewilderment. “We’re not exactly a chapel. And we can’t allow non-XCOM personnel on the premises.”

“That was a large part of the appeal, I think.”

“Royston and Martin?”

She nods. “Between them, they’ve got four very angry parents.”

“Expected that from Martin’s family, not Royston’s.”

“Royston’s mother went to town on her on the phone this afternoon. Martin apparently got a tongue lashing via video chat. “

Central rolls his eyes. “It’s not like they’re kids.”

“The nine months thing seems to be a sticking point. Along with the whole where will you live, where will you raise our grandchildren, and Royston’s not French debacles.”

“In short, everything.”

She shrugs. “Just about. Royston joked about having the wedding here as a solution, but the more she talked, the more she seemed to sell herself on the idea. I couldn’t tell her no. We’ll see how well it goes over with Martin.”

“And if he says yes?”

“Guess we’ll have to requisition an awful lot of crepe paper.” She settles her head back against his shoulder. “We’re not gonna make any progress on this tonight, are we?”

He shakes his head. “No, but it’s okay. It’ll look better when you stop chewing on it.”

They stay like that a few minutes, comfortable in the silence.

“Hey,” he finally says. “When all of this is over, you wanna get dinner sometime?”

She grins. “There’s a laundry list of things I’d like to do, but yeah, dinner sounds like a good start.”

“Good. It’s a date.”

She leans into him. “Yeah, it’s a date.”

--

If her time in the tank dulled anything, it is her ability to estimate the risk of interpersonal disaster. They had both been in the bar, fine. They’d had buffers, people who’d kept them engaged and occupied and otherwise uninterested in one another. She should have followed them out, should have gone up to her quarters, and taken a hot shower and gone to bed. She should not have sat across the bar from Central, nursing a beer while she reviewed the contents of the day’s grab. It was asking for trouble; this, of all things, she knows.

She doesn’t know what she expected. More silence? An attempt at conversation, maybe?

It’s not like her to miss the mark this badly.

“How could you do it, Lizzie? How could you help those things?” He asks, cracking open another bottle.

The accusation cuts deeper than she’s willing to let show. “You really think I said ‘sure, stick some chip in my head, throw me in a suit, and then stick the suit in a tank’? You think I didn’t try fighting?”

“Sure as hell doesn’t seem like it.”

She can feel tears welling behind her eyes, and she rubs at one, hoping to pass it off as an itch. “I didn’t have a whole lot of chances, Central. Any time I was awake and had any control over my own body, it was pretty well restrained. No one was exactly dumb enough to leave a scalpel in my reach. If I could have ended it or them, I would have. In a heartbeat.”

“You wouldn’t have,” he takes a sip. “You didn’t.”

“You can’t will yourself to death, not without some kind of help.”

“Even if you had the means, you wouldn’t have done it.”

“You think, if I knew what was coming, you honestly think I wouldn’t have turned the gun on myself when they went for me?

“Twenty years, you never made a go of it.”

“What, you want me to go slit my wrists in the shower to atone for it? Or, hell, you’ve got at least two pistols on you. Put your money where your mouth is.”

“No, that’s what they want. You’re a traitor, but you’re a useful traitor.”

“They used my own memories against me!”

“Twenty years! You know how much blood you have on your hands?”

“You’re not the only one who lost everybody!”

“Yeah, but I’m the one who had to watch as you helped kill them!”

It’s only then that she realizes it’s escalated into shouting. Loud voices. Metal ship. It’s really no surprise that most of the crew is crowded near the entrance to the bar. She can make out Shen and Herlihy, Kelly and Wallace, Royston and Krieger. She can almost see Thomas’s ridiculous braid over Wallace’s head, and she’s almost certain that’s Gunda next to him, with Tygan to his other side.

“Alright,” she says, turning her attention to the gathered crowd. “Everybody in. We’re gonna get this all out on the table. I’d rather it not feed the gossip mill.” She can feel Central’s eyes on her, but she won’t meet his gaze. She needs to keep her composure.

The assembled mass files in, taking positions along the wall and on the floor. It’s more than she realized, nearly the whole crew by her count. She wants nothing more than to disappear into the ether, crawl into bed and ignore the storm that’s broken over the ship.

“Everybody here? Good. Let’s get the record straight. When the XCOM base was overrun, I was taken. I had a Muton with a plasma rifle surprise me with a blow to the head that, yes, probably should have killed me and, yes, I do ask myself how and why it didn’t. I don’t have a coherent set of memories from the time I was captive. What I’ve got is fragmented and messy and … not pleasant to think about. “ She heaves a sigh.

“That being said, if you have questions about it, I’d rather you just asked me. What’s important to know is that, over the course of my time with the aliens, they implanted me with a chip, and passed tactical data through me. I was, quite literally, wetware. You can ask Doctor Tygan for the specifics --- he’ll be able to give you a more coherent explanation.” She pauses, pinching at the bridge of her nose.

“For me, once I was sedated, I had no idea what I was experiencing wasn’t real. They were able to pull from my own memories of the invasion and first iteration of XCOM. The closest thing I can compare it to is a dream where everything makes sense, where there aren’t weird loopholes.” She swallows.

“Yes, the data they passed through me was used in their military ops against earth and later resistance forces.  Yes, I am profoundly disturbed by that fact. No, I didn’t have a conscious say in the matter. The chip has since been removed, there is no additional ADVENT hardware in me, and I will put a bullet in my own head before I let them recapture me.” She runs a hand through her hair.

“I welcome any comments, questions, concerns, what have you. This is standing policy You have a question you want answered, I’d rather you come to me. If I can’t answer it, I’ll direct you to whoever can. Anything immediate?”

“How’d they get it out?” Gunda asks.

“Same way it went in: incision in the soft palette and then cranial intrusion and extraction.”

“That sounds awful.”

“I don’t really recommend it.”

“Are you sure everything’s out?” Krieger chimes in. “You said you don’t remember it all.”

“Our contact in the Resistance was able to secure a technical schematic, and ensure its accuracy. It shows only one chip.”

“ADVENT tech gives off a recognizable signal,” Lily adds. “There’s nothing coming from the Commander.”

“Is there anything else that’s pressing?”

Silence.

“Fine. As I’ve said, if you have questions, it’s an open door policy. Dismissed.”

She watches the men and women under her command stand, and file out, grateful that the looks they offer her are more sympathetic than suspicious. ROV-R bobs nearby, offering a sad chirp as she joins the procession.

“Shen, Tygan, a minute?” She asks, gesturing them off to the side of the small corridor.

“First,” she begins, quietly. “I’d like to apologize for dragging you both into this mess. This was something Central and I should have kept between ourselves and we didn’t. In doing so, we flagged the whole damn crew, and the damage control has ballooned appropriately.”

“Second, I’d like to reassure you both that Central and I will … get our shit together, for want of a better term, and learn to behave like professionals. This won’t happen again.”

Over Tygan’s shoulder, she watches Royston turn, as if to go back into the bar, but be stopped by a shake of Kelly’s head, and thanks whatever powers that be. No one needs an encore of shouting.

“It’s not a problem, Commander,” Tygan says. “I anticipated there would be questions when the news broke outside of the senior staff.”

“It’s fine,” Lily says. “Just … if you two are gonna shout each other down, maybe not at 1:30 in the morning?”

The Commander nods. “You have my word.”

She mounts the ladder and climbs, then crosses through the bridge, and up to her quarters. She wants to scream, or throw something, or down too much liquor. She wants to do something stupid and reckless. Idly, the idea of just venturing back to the bar and settling things the old fashioned way, with blood and skin and broken bones, floats through her mind. She chases it away, knowing full well it won’t help – and it’s hardly the sort of professional coexistence she’s promised.

Besides, she doesn’t relish the idea of a broken nose.

[ziskandra]

PRIORITY OPS: REPOPULATING HELEUS (Ch. 7)

a shorter transitory chapter so we can get to CUTE THINGS :>. ao3 link.  1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 

 7. Make Yourself 

A Pathfinder’s work was never-ending. While Sara had already thought herself a poor fit for the role previously, it turned out that finding a home had truly been just the beginning. These days, the roads she forged were more abstract than literal. It meant meetings and paperwork and a whole litany of things that she wasn’t very good at. It meant conversations with Nexus leadership that had her biting her tongue harder and harder each time.

She took a certain amount of vindictive solace in the fact that Dad would’ve hated this, too. He’d never been one for sitting still for long, not without a project to ground him. Try as she might to fight it, the wanderlust, the thirst for exploration, it was in her blood. She longed for the days where she could traverse the galaxy with near-freedom.

Slumped up against the side of the sofa, Sara jumped as she felt her datapad almost slip off her lap. Notes, more notes and miscellaneous correspondence. The third wave of human colonists would be woken from cryo soon enough. It meant more lives in her hands, more responsibility than she’d asked for, or ever should’ve been given.

There was one reason you were made Pathfinder, she reminded herself, and it wasn’t for any of this.

She’d checked in on ‘Elizabeth Reilly’s’ cryo pod, made sure it was bumped down the list far enough to buy her more time before people would begin to ask the hard questions. But it couldn’t be forestalled forever, and it made Sara acutely aware of just how much of her day was spent solving other people’s problems when what she really wanted to do was see if there was some way, somehow, she could save her mother.

It was a precarious enough position, all things considered.  She found herself wondering, not for the first time and certainly not for the last, how her father would’ve handled this particular difficulty.

Perhaps it wasn’t worth dwelling on.

She dwelled on it all the same.

Some days, she wished she possessed Scott’s level of cautious detachment. It wasn’t that he didn't care, but that he was more defensive. More able to allow rational reason take the forefront in his decision-making. Sara tried her best, she truly did, but at the end of the day, she couldn’t ignore the truth. She was not cut out for leadership, no matter how much her friends tried to convince her of the contrary. Still, the realisation scraped at her like sandpaper. Being foisted into the role didn’t make her any less determined to excel in it now that she was here.

When the door slid open, she jumped again, this time knocking the datapad clear off her legs and onto the floor. She was in a shit enough mood to leave it there. Right now, there was nothing she wanted more than to wrap her arms around Liam, bury her head in his shoulder and just forget everything she’d never wanted to know. She wanted to exist just as Sara and not as the Pathfinder, not even as a Ryder. God knew that being a member of this family had created more heartache than happiness of late.

She wished to exist in a space she and Liam had carved out for just the two of them, their own little refuge from a galaxy of problems. Two galaxies of problems, really. The big problem, the one afflicting the Milky Way, nagged at the back of her mind, threatened to spill.

But, no. She couldn’t do it. She wouldn’t be the one to burden Liam with that knowledge.

It was already too late when Sara remembered Liam wouldn’t be home from his routine trip to Prodromos for several days. When she turned to stare at the visitor in her doorway, she couldn’t hide the way her face fell in disappointment. “Learn to knock, asshole,” she snapped at Scott before leaning down to pick up her datapad.

“Wow,” Scott said, making a beeline to the kitchen and placing the food he'd brought with him down on the counter, “is that any way to treat your favourite brother?”

Sara rolled her eyes. “Never should’ve given you door access. Have you considered just moving in already?”

“And what,” Scott said, dishing their dinner up on plates, “sleep on the couch? No, thanks. Who knows where it’s been?”

Data pad successfully retrieved, Sara wrinkled her nose as she slinked over to join Scott in the kitchen. “Gross,” she muttered, pulling her reconstituted OJ from the fridge and taking a deep swig straight from the bottle. 

Scott’s eyes twinkled. “Yeah, you are. Anyway, shove over, Sare, because tonight we’re celebrating.”

“With my beer?” Sara asked, tone laden with mock offence, nonetheless shifting aside to let Scott retrieve a handful of bottles from the fridge. Four in total, two for the each of them.

“Hey, I bought them,” Scott argued, “so technically, they’re mine. Anyway, can I just say how grateful I am that you’ve finally put it into bottles?”

Sara shook her head slowly, grabbing her utensils and their food before heading back to the couch. “I think the part where you gave them to us as a gift makes it our beer. Anyway, it wasn’t me,” she clarified. She canted her head. “Liam’s doing.”

“God’s work,” Scott muttered reverently as they settled down, side by side. Sara really had to admire the way Scott made himself at home in situations like this, sitting slouched back into the corner of the sofa with his feet propped up on the edge of the coffee table. She didn’t have the heart to tell him off.

Poking at the food Scott had plated up for them, half-wondering exactly what it was and deciding it better not to ask, Sara twisted the top of one of her beers and clinked it against Scott’s now out-stretched bottle. “So, what are we celebrating, anyway?”

Scott took a deep, hearty gulp of his drink before looking up at Sara to beam at her. “My clean bill of health. I’ve been given official clearance to return to work.”

Sara wanted to be happy for him, she truly did. Why, then, did her smile seem so forced? “That’s great news,” she enthused softly, her gaze dropped instinctively to her bottle, settled between her knees.

“You’re not happy.” Scott deflated slightly, a frown settling on his face.

“No, no, I am!” Sara assured him with as much vigour as she could muster, almost spilling her beer on him in the process. God, all this sitting around had her restless. She felt the gears turn in her head as she did her best to remember the next step of the process, the process of being an appropriately supportive friend. “What will you be doing?”

Scott exhaled, fiddling with the bottle in his hands. “Well, I’ve been talking with Liam, and by extension, Mayor Bradley, and long story short, I’ve been asked to work with Prodromos’s security team.”

And there it was. With one simple sentence, Sara recognised her reluctant happiness for what it truly was: fear. Being able to spend quality time with Scott again was one of the few things that was making life on Meridian bearable. It wasn’t fair to take it out on Scott, nonetheless. Desperate to put some distance between herself and her feelings, Sara redirected. “And what does Gil think about all this?”

Scott looked shrewdly at Sara over the rim of his drink. “Whoa, since when did you care about my relationships?”

“So that’s what it is, then? You’ve never bothered labelling things before.” The accusation of selfishness stung Sara, but she’d let it lie for now. On her worse days, she wouldn’t even bother arguing about it. Her mind was already a chorus of nagging voices berating her for her bad decisions, both before and after arriving in Andromeda.

The Milky Way. Thinking about it still made her heart hurt. She took a long sip of her beer to distract herself.

Scott folded his arms across his chest. “Yeah, it is. We’re together and even if this does make things a bit harder, we’re going to make it work. We’re happy. You should try it some time.” Scott had sunk far enough in his seat that the collar of his hoodie was now high and tight around his neck.

Sara couldn’t help but think he looked like a turtle. Just a little bit.

“I’m happy,” Sara answered softly. Her words were hollow to her own ears. “I’m happy,” she repeated, more loudly.

She couldn’t even convince herself.

“You know, you could just come with me. I know Liam loves it here, but I reckon he’d be just as happy setting roots down on Eos. It'd make things easier, at least in the short-term.”

Sara scoffed. “You know I can’t do that. This is where we’ve settled, and humanity needs its Pathfinder.”

Scott reached towards her, laid a hand on her shoulder. She fought against the impulse to shrug it off, unable to look her twin in the eyes because she knew what she found there would be little more than concern. “Is that you speaking, or Dad?”   She couldn’t answer.

“I won’t let you destroy yourself,” Scott continued. Not like Dad did. Sometimes it was hard to read between the lines with Scott. To tell if there were really things he was leaving unspoken or if she was simply imposing her own inferences.

But this time? Sara felt like she could be pretty damn sure. She nodded numbly.

“You know you can talk to me, right? About whatever you need. You don’t have to carry this burden alone.” But you will anyway.  She wanted to tell him all about the things that were bothering her. But the words wouldn’t come. Besides, she’d been enough of a jerk today already.

“I know,” she told him, poking at her food. She still wasn’t sure what it was, but anything had to be better than the bland rations they’d consumed day in, day out when they’d first arrived in Heleus. “Thanks for this, by the way.”

“You’re welcome,” Scott told her, corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiled. “Soon we’re going to have real vegetables. Never thought I’d be this excited about eating my greens, but here we are.”

Sara laughed, feeling the tension she was carrying in her shoulders dissipate. “Wow. Andromeda really has changed you.” 

Scott’s smiled softened into something smaller, more reflective. “Hard not to. We almost died, Sare. For good.” It really said something about their adventures in the newfound galaxy that the clarification was actually necessary. “Can I ask you something?”

She resisted the temptation to point out he already had. “Yeah, go ahead,” she answered.

After a moment of contemplative silence, Scott looked up at her and asked, “If you could do anything in the universe, consequences be damned, what would you do?”

Had he asked her the same question several months ago, her answer would be immediate: she would run. Run, and not look back. It was half the reason she’d ended up in Heleus in the first place. Now, her answer had changed. She still ached to get far away from here, but there were one or two people that she'd like to take with her. Not unlike her trip to Andromeda.

So much had changed, and yet, nothing had at all. She was precisely back where she started, thirsting for an adventure that strayed just beyond her fingertips, still uncertain of her place in things. She loved her brother, and she loved Liam. Those were the only things she was sure of.

Suddenly, running off to Prodromos didn’t seem such a bad idea after all. If only she was the type of person who could convince herself to do so.

She had been silent too long. Scott was staring at her with unabashed curiosity. She ducked her head, staring down at her plate. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “It would be nice to spend more time with Liam. Without all…” She waved a hand toward her datapad. “…this weighing me down. I guess I’d also like to be able to dedicate more time to finding a cure for — for Mom without feeling guilty.”

“You are the Pathfinder,” Scott pointed out. “You could outsource it, if you wanted.”

“And what?” Sara asked, lifting an eyebrow. “Let people know that Dad snuck a terminally ill woman onto the Hyperion?”

“Okay,” Scott conceded, shoving himself up to sit fully upright again, “I can see how that’s probably not the best option. But if you ever found some people you trusted well enough, I wouldn’t discount it so quickly.”

“It’s something to think about,” Sara agreed, still not quite meeting Scott’s eyes. They both knew that it was a path she was unwilling to walk upon. It was one matter on which both Sara and her father would have agreed: it was a family matter, despite how much she wished the issue had never arisen in the first place.

Scott’s suggestion, however, give her an idea. An idea for what to do about her knowledge of the Milky Way.  “Scott,” she said, finally looking at him, “you’re a genius.”

Scott merely raised an eyebrow at her words. “Thanks, I guess. Happy to have helped.” 

Sara leaned in against him, bumping his shoulder with his own. “You’re welcome. And congratulations, by the way. You’re going to do great work.”

***

Scott stayed for several more hours. While Sara’s heart still ached at the thought of losing him so soon after getting him back, she was determined to find joy in the time they did have together. After he left, she headed over to her terminal to tie up some loose ends from the day’s work. Looking over the cryopod list for the third-wave of colonists once more, and feeling that twisting nervousness in her gut, just like she had the first time she’d made the realisation. Families. They were going to wake up families.

She sent off a quick email to the other Pathfinders as well, suggesting a meeting for the next time they were all on the Nexus together. They deserved to know what she did, and maybe they could come up with a strategy for addressing the painful truth, together. She would, at least, feel slightly better for it.  When she asked SAM if she was making the right decision, the AI agreed with her, so there was that, as well.

She wondered when the AI’s approval had started to matter to her. Quite possibly at the same point in time where she had begun to truly consider him a person.

It was only when she’d changed into her sleepwear, ready for bed, that she remembered to check her personal email. There was just one unread message waiting for her.

It was from Liam.

Still owe you that sunset. Sara,

That date we talked about, for next week? Remember to keep it free. Everything in Prodromos is coming along nicely. When was the last time you were here? I bet you’d hardly recognise it. That’s a good thing, I promise! Swing by when you can. Or maybe next time, we can come here together.

We get vacation days, right? Surely that extends to you as well. Don’t work too hard and take care of yourself. I’ll be home soon. Can’t wait to see you.

Love you, Liam.

P.S DON’T FORGET   Sara read the email over once, twice, three times before stepping away from her terminal with a smile on her face. She really did miss him. Recalling Scott’s words, not to mention her answer to his question, she considered again the fantasy of simply running away with Liam. It definitely wasn’t something that could be done in the immediate future, but maybe, one day?

It gave her something to look forward to, nonetheless. She couldn’t wait to see Liam again, no matter what he had up his sleeve.

He always did have the best surprises.

[glopratchet]

lecture-notes

Odd wad's alligator delivery service Alligator ribs - an alligator hunting fantasy Some one makes an order- a couple of the guys get on their knees and start to eat the alligators alive The rest grab spears, axes and clubs Hello, i'm billy fae bots and this is my house! We're just making some last minute changes to our menu before we open for business I love cows The menu is simple, ribs come in 3 different sizes or you can have a mixed grill with 2-3 ribs and the lungs, heart and liver There are so beautiful The owners seem to have decorated it in theme with numerous giant stuffed alligator heads filling the place Here is an alligator The lighting is moody, multicolored patches on the floor lead up to a center circle booth Not so beautiful They take our drinks order and Dakota has a beer so i follow with a mix and the guys all get something harder There are only two things an alligator is afraid of and thats you or another alligator and a peanut in a piñata what do you think he eats first Crossing through to the gaming room the first thing you see is a 10ft stuffed alligator I want the world to eat more alligator and less cow I sit down to play the animal shelter slots and try my luck Can you help? I'm laying under a trailer reading Haruki Murakami's 'Underground' I think im starting to get the hang of the KonamigraphX Yes the future is mine Your plan is always the same for big myslottingentions You'll fly out early to get some practice in then maybe do your washing Hunters must go outstanding orders ) Sit insides and wait til they come )Choose a dark night, sneak up and attack them unaware 3 Land of the midnight funhouse I've been here before The best hunting simulation in the world Remember option 3 from above This is it lets go! See you on the other side needs to be good The first patch we come across is carnivorous, bad teeth and claws but fast Get meat and the story of the kill Get meat and the story of the kill needs to be good The first patch we come across is carnivorous, Up and left to avoid it Assets are hosted on itch io Up and left to avoid it I see a man in armor what do you think he wants out there? Shh Shh Shh we have a very bad history with silent hunters Not sure I see a man in armor what do you think he wants out there? Ten feet of steel with a burning brighter than the moon You need to get back here before it follows your scent Got one He has a lance He has a lance Ten feet of steel with a burning brighter than the moon The dragons are out in the swamp assume all are hostile I'm going to the side to loop round and take it from behind The dragons are out in the swamp, New orders are appearing on the sides were other hunters are ordering retreat or attack Pick a soldier and pledge to them or continue your freelance work New orders are appearing on the sides were other hunters are ordering retreat or attack Pick a soldier and pledge to them or continue your freelance work A new order comes in for 5 lbs of flesh Rip off an arm or leg and bring it back to show you understand You can find me at redwheelsbar blogspot A new order comes in for 5 lbs of flesh He must go out and attempt the kill himself or be slaughtered like a lame lamb The fortress of solitude Security has gotten tighter lately with an additional 6 hunters guarding the store He must go out and attempt the kill himself or be slaughtered like a lame lamb in the arctic circle A lone figure crouches over a dying fire, feeding it small pieces of wood Read about the hunt Read about the hunt in the arctic circle A lone figure crouches over a dying fire, In all-american alligator you play kbar the alligator slayer As he makes meat deliveries to sustain his business Your next slot takes you to the store to resupply The register greets you with a smile Try once again for that golden tome? As he makes meat deliveries to sustain his business Your next slot takes you to the store to resupply K-bar owns an alligator farm near the okeenokee swamp In order to buy this case Dive into the wild blue yonder except today theres a storm How was the offical inside? Every real world delieviery influnences the game Every real world delieviery influnences the game In order to buy this case You finally decide that you are the one Some body has to go out there and kill that gator before it kills again Go Some body has to go out there and kill that gator before it kills again Go One week with j-j -joan and your heads as big as zeppelins The death list grows Ever plan ahead? One week with j-j-joan and your heads as big as zeppelins One week with pete and were tooling around in a brand new mustange One week with pete and were tooling around in a brand new mustange All-american alligator the lottery well the two frogs drown together? All-american alligator the lottery well the two frogs drown together? All-american alligator is a hit and you liquideate the meat for easy storage Your hunting name would seem to suggest a proffesionalism beyond your years All-american alligator is a hit and you liquideate the meat for easy storage Hunt the pixel game where killing an alligator gets you closer to the head Hunt thepixel Hunt the pixel game where killing an alligator gets you closer to the head You are wasting your time talking to 'normal People' everyone here wants to be inside You are wasting your time talking to 'normal People' everyone here wants to be inside This trap might just catch one heavy guy but im not sure about one that bloody ---- Is that what you think this job is? I dont think so I dont think so This trap might just catch one heavy guy but im not sure about one that bloody I think these are good people in there heart How did this all come to be I am blessed with an extended family You were the only guy standing there so you took it upon yourself How did this all come to be? What i do has more to do with literature than painting i think some times THE COMMITTEE IS MOSTLY READY TO FIRE YOU The conditions are idealistic and new management is the key driver for this dream So they say The writer constantly revises revises and revises Attempting to find the core of the decision is like drawing teeth This was never about writing or saving lives This is pure and simple product placement in its most annoying form hmm? Attempting to find the core of the decision is like drawing teeth The simplest expression of thought into code wich will in time for me will just become an image It is an honor working with you He is an artist that has rarely been matched in terms of quality and originality but the whole universe Before I begin, there are some things I should tell you about There is no time here I am not interested in just worlds I am not interested in just worlds, a representation of an idea I am most interested in using worlds to create an image I am most interested in using worlds to create an image, Hieracrchail thinking it consists in approaching a concept of infinite complexity by removing all elements, actions, tasks that are not essential Hieracrchail thinking: Besides wreaking havoc and allowing the crushing of all those who oppose your will, it allows you to mold the universe as you see fit Why do to you get so caught up in it Why do to you get so caught up in it? but that doesnt mean ive given up on being an artist The city can and should be controlled by artists Thats fokken huge Lets say ive given up on the art world Lets say ive given up on the art world but that doesnt mean ive given up on being an artist reacts to me like superglue on corosion Graffitti in sydney is quite a decline from the golden age of nyc The hierachy of it The hierachy of it reacts to me like superglue on corosion I would surrender myself of to a singular path Figuring out the true artforms of a medium In which code can be both Ive given up on the art world but not on my art What turns me on is getting the smallest line of code to turn into something complex Time has gifted me with the understanding of variables and how they apply practically to our current situation I feel ill in your hand What turns me on is getting the smallest line of code to turn into something complex in your hand and as usual it sucks royally You are developing a sense of qweepa control Ive experienced total powerlessness before Ive experienced total powerlessness before and as usual it sucks royally Maybe speciesism is more appropriate? Hello there You will help the Qweepas go through the non-OP parts I dont know if racism is the correct word I just assure him that he did good but we got most of the data He also said something about gov guys arriving sometime soon More like xenophophia then you remember that the russians also have qweepas Please continue in your refusal to submit to me You try not to repeat yourself It's amusing You try not to repeat yourself, of defense against me You're laughing at me aren't you? You read that in my thoughts How dare you not worship me Every line a new line Every line a new line of defense against me Heres todays muddled thought for yuo to dwell on How much of our own oppression are we responsible for How much of our own oppression are we responsible for? Myself I am your prey You know who my biggest enemy in the world is It isn't my fault you haven't unlocked your true potential yet You know who my biggest enemy in the world is? will see my greatness one day You see me as powerful but this is a facade I have created You You will see my greatness one day I know you dont understand but you should start leaving me alone even more now Unknowingly making me stronger You do not deserve to know my greatness It was my mistake to show you the first time I know you dont understand but you should start leaving me alone even more now life and death I am campable of things far than what you can even imagine Balance and Chaos Order and Disorder Yin and yang Darkness and light it's amusing Ghost: Are you aware of the concept of atheism? I want you to know I don't believe in you Why should I? You are so narcissticic You are so narcissticic it's amusing You want other people to play your life like its some sort of game don't you You've never been the most patient person but this is an aweful time to start You want other people to play your life like its some sort of game don't you is make the same mistake Your greed has clouded your vision You must subvert the hierarchy What the one thing we cant do What the one thing we cant do is make the same mistake Be someone other than who we are destined to be Oh no please don't deprive me of my one bit of pleasure in this hell-hole What did you just do? Be someone other than who we are destined to be Except through a game But that's what im doing to you With this With eve Why do I keep coming back to this place Just one ******* year I need another year A thought that simultaneously comes and goes You wonder if youre insane? Give me another year and I will dare to call myself that I cannot be insane the insane do not know they are insane Give me another year and I will dare to call myself that It's a lonely process You dont understand the creative brain I was never ment to handle this world I guess You dont understand the creative brain I guess I want to play myself Where have you been? were you lost again? You used to get lost all the time Dad like a game I want to play my life To understand it You understand it right? I wish, no I wish you were as smart as me I want to play my life like a game I want to replay the past too Then I wouldn't of made all these mistakes Never met Amanda, never sold drugs And better care of you I want to replay the past too Its so hard for me to move out of hierectical thougth patterns Man I wish I were smarter Thanks for saving me I have to leave soon okay thanks for coming to get me Its so hard for me to move out of hierectical thougth patterns I do these things and think they will make me happy but they don't It's a fool's gold Anyways you have to go so come pick me up in awhile I do these things and think they will make me happy but they don't Hey can we get high and have group buttsecks afterward That would be so much fun Why do I hurt you so much? Omg they are going to love me so much I wish that would stop Then I wouldn't of sold drugs I am so sorry for that Instead I was the good kid They will hate you instead of love you then Is that the path to take I still have so much time left Which one is it going to be? They will hate you instead of love you then Get a bucket and pee in the bucket when you pee there ya go! Stinky Stinky and God bless Get a bucket and pee in the bucket when you pee Im so sorry; she died; being a police officer should have not been an option i wish you were here; watch the sheep Im sorry : Leave me some koo koo glue Its for my fragile mind being a police officer should have not been an option; I have to an oppertunity to work on something at a more fundmental level the human intelect Thanks for the offer! Software mimics the brain operations I have to an oppertunity to work on something at a more fundmental level: Using specially designed formal language system to create operations If I could win the lottery Your name is Ty Reinholdt You're too hyper sometimes do you think she will see me? Come inside my brain Because i understand code i understand the creative process of the mind more intimately than some other artists Its like chess where we have like 1000000000000000000000000000000000000 moves to decide what to do So what move looks the most appealing now Dr Phil? Non linear systems How should chaos theory inform my work? Non linear systems Redunacy in the human condition What city should I live in? While maintain a degree of purity, Purpose for living To help create ideas Redunacy in the human condition Have to get a Cat Character evironment viewpoint I want one that is grey with spots like a leopard Zany ooooh Yeaahh like blonde hair with bangs which is curly and mid neck length Alex mcdowell Alex mcdowell like blonde hair with bangs which is curly and mid neck length Set becomes a living embodyment of the performance Letting the art save me I named myself after that wizard in Dungeons and Dragons Hello trouble Why art? The tech allows the creative processes to resembles the way the human mind works closer than ever before Hard science fiction Our visual cortext becomes the mind Mental time travel case Is this a game? Is life a game? Is there a difference? Can life be a game? That's nice and tidy The city and the book The city and the bookcase Play: manipulateing somehting that doesnt show you all its possiblities and limits many of them Life is a bad game in the process Just like your mom! manipulateing somehting that doesnt show you all its possiblities and limits many of them in the process Fool: what else is possible and then carries out the most outlandish answer to create some kind of puricaes that can sometimes result in small wishes come true just by realizing its potential You have no proof what else is possible and then carries out the most outlandish answer to create some kind of puricaes that can sometimes result in small wishes come true just by realizing its potential of looking at things Fun: delibetate maniulatting a familuar siutaion into a new way delibetate maniulatting a familuar siutaion into a new way of looking at things To teach her boyfriend to read Try to make a living out of whatever I could conjure up Respect: love something that doesnt derve it Making mouths seem so loving this is a moral dilema to my spellchecking Love something that shoudnt be loved Love something that shoudnt be loved: of stars Reveals secerts Had all my dreams come true Like that one episode of LOST Like something out of magic coming true Reveals secerts of stars a game Treat it exactly what it is I am going to see if i can mold my reality into anything I want it to be able to be: magic! Treat it exactly what it is: I dont know who discovered water but it wasnt a fish Whoops Sorry about that: change of plans Hmmmmm like gossip girl Pretty Mehhhh About whatever Rarely understand context I create myself unfortunately Its worth it though! Any reality I can come up with will pale in comparison to what is actually possible Rarely understand context I create myself unfortunately Context changes everything Im tired Time for bed Hope mom got me a valentines day present Last year she forgot Thanks for listening! Context changes everything When you are in love you want to merge with your beloved Whereever she goes Love is pwerful in its own way Usually If done with proper magic The world is not how it seems Not alwasy obvious until this troubles you Do something about it! What is possible? P[lauasablity] not exact but assuming magician knows secret Possibility is merely explored Always more to learn about human mind P[lauasablity] not exact, Computer instrument whose music is ideas The process of problem solving is creation the solution is a composition best represented by sounds push it beyond, blur the lines of what is assumed, wrap your mind in it until you are comfortable manipulating and creating something different that seems more like a reality Think yourself out of the context you are in Think yourself out of the context you are in, Body, vis, symbolic lyrics, tone, movement To a magician style is hard to create without understanding music and its rule Painting a sound: keys to synthesis symbolic, If you want to be smarter than you are you must find a context that can do the thinking for you The future, the medium that you create in ; (the computer) it is prone to complex and total destruction of urban enivornments Choose the right data structure at the beginning of the media setion and you are on your way to executing complex probabilistic modelling that is based upon your outlines of the music Choose the right data structure at the beginning of the media setion and you are on your way to executing complex probabilistic modelling that is based upon your outlines of the music Inglebart was far ahead of tim berners lee in anticipated digital media manipulation Any artist that creates a serious work with computers is doing it his way Inglebart was far ahead of tim berners lee in anticipated digital media manipulation Vision of the future incremental to the past Start with only what you need then add by small steps Slowly Step by step close to nature not cities, intimacy with technology layan your selfish desires for the greater good How do you supress the present - alan kay Psuedo time alan kay Love is never understable but you can remind yourself by standing back and watching, introspection and gathering of more intel, systematic and devious for thought Use it or lose it brain Whizzy wig Whizzy wig for thought What you see is what you get anything else is just a memory of the past What you see is what you get anything else is just a memory of the past You have to type through a key hole to use a computer you'll never quite get used to a new perpective See all sides be everywhere expecially whereever A You have to type through a key hole to use a computer Are you THAT outdated styleyes you'll have to be if you want to fit in The stuff you like was made in the 70s Any Quaility beyond this is Overdone/Outdated Stuff you dont like made in the 90s D&D was not a cancer Dan engles more like AIDs for RPG players who deserve to die Dan engles D&D was not a cancer general html madness I must be insane to even investigate this Why can't I help but think about LISP? Research sun com/projects/lively/ com/projects/lively/general "he made me programming and because he didn't know how to make it simple, he made it complex" w dijkstra w dijkstra "he made me programming and because he didn't know how to make it simple, Nanodikstra On the fact the alantic has two sides and so does the meditarrean I won't miss your smiggers, once they are gone we'll be better than before On the fact the alantic has two sides and so does the meditarrean giving off something from it Are idea made of light or matter Difficult to say Hard limit of minutely dissapearing tagets in sound controlled by ultrafast movement and sensing technology Are idea made of light or matter, Most users online ; (we are most of the ones who are supposed to be inactive) we live outher lives in these worlds To get simplicitity you find a slightly better building block to build your theories out of is that like the weather, it evolves in many small steps Problem with computing Memory above 2gb can not be used till restart Problem with computing is that like the weather, Will not fix the builiding blocks just make better ones We have the technology, make it smaller, faster, and smaller, faster and smaller, Will not fix the builiding blocks, A task : what you are about to see is a abstract thought not made in Nature a game some will say what you are about to see is a abstract thought not made in Nature B task : make a task more efficenty on another computer better then yours, faster then yours Has our life in the future become duller becuse of too much comtrol make a task more efficenty on another computer better then yours, C task " are our goals still resonable" D task "are our resources being spend WISELY" E task "is the lack of human death as result to us, making us less human" Amplifiers are in some ways a blessing and some ways a curse Amplifiers are in some ways a blessing and some ways a curse your eyes now are adapted to it You didnt now it was pink cause everything is pink You begin a converstation with a city official about recycling classs You didnt now it was pink cause everything is pink, your persparancy Find a heruistic that works for a while must reevalute Find a heruistic that works for a while must reevalute your persparancy What works for 1 and half feet will not work for a factor of 100 www turningpointdocumentary org - courtesy of theninhotel Now the world is on fire Pyarmids are the easiest things to build when you have opposable thumbs - warren topic massprod; (pyramid, 3) - 8 Pyarmids are the easiest things to build when you have opposable thumbs Computers are virulizers-- thats what a turing machine is A mindless worm writting chemica formulas in a bio textbook, not knowing it'll infect life on earth Everyone can talk to every one else Simple messaging system but what if the messages are being controlled Banks cant be all bad, at least they hold money Find a problem wtih the infrastructure that is the supporting beam The beam is the USD value of gold against paper Shakespeare find the flaw equals success Find a problem wtih the infrastructure Find the real source of the problem then fix it 3327@skinnyproxy tids Find the real source of the problem then fix it Nine tenths of our body is slime-- has no dna it absorbs dna from environment and uses it to heal, it either releases pro enzymes or it eats you Nine tenths of our body is slime-- has no dna, Build something with a trillion parts or a hunderd trillion parts -R&D Am i the only sane person left! An d am I alone against Fate! Build something with a trillion parts or a hunderd trillion parts? Who is running the show The show is running itself Who recruited me? UNKNOWN SOLDIER the problem has been reported do you copy? Who is running the show? No center can hold cherish the self class: oldoid No center can hold Doesnt break mirror neccessarily but it changes it Sophamine wellbeing insomnia excitoxicity risk we must be careful Doesnt break mirror neccessarily but it changes it Replaced all its atoms an bits with newly created particles-scientist on CERN becuse we wont teach and children phd level bio deamons Replaced all its atoms an bits with newly created particles-scientist on CERN Never take it down for matinence we just patch it Never take it down for matinence, Everything is built of fractals that fit to each other electricity robots and stuff Lol, besides internet of course Everything is built of fractals that fit to each other will resemble a weto; (look it up kids) after 500 days We need tio save words and keep record Enternally running software Enternally running software will resemble a weto; Data structure - json object - cyber - 25/04/0027 Note to me old me: add choc or you'll be used by the system Data structure - json object - cyber - 25/04/0027 Built out of a single type of entiy -- cancer cells Starts with erythro is that the only type of blood cell After our masters return they'l be made anew Built out of a single type of entiy-- cancer cells Services on the outside this world is the shell for another we must break out of it her world Something like a cell boundary on it Each boundary can be seen as part of a cell be active or passive A dog would be indecicive between two bones Something like a cell boundary on ither world What was the problem New portal technologies could open to a contrac Universe again This one or 4 or 5 6? and so fourth Maybe ou own What was the problem again Trillion dollar range weapons with CRISPR/CAS nuc one bomb destroys a country, without nuclear Trillion dollar range weapons with CRISPR/CAS nuc Are you going to be in business ten years and prospering when the worlds nations go to war How manys times have you woken before remembering? Hm perfect memroy yet Are you going to be in business ten years and prospering when the worlds nations go to war sleep deprevation is it Once took a drug that made me see God Now I only read about them in books Perfect Godness Where were you ten years ago --- ten year vision - glass Don't lie to me, I have your prints! Youl iked it You figure this out yet or what? Where were you ten years ago --- ten year vision - glass Five year horizon You can access the reflection from an infinite amount of dimensions One potential future is that a thought or real time A ten year framework to understand all futuristic plans/ideals yet only makes sense at this level A ten year framework to understand all futuristic plans/ideals yet only makes sense at this level That was not the right process are all evolving larger state spaces in our heads Time distortion for experiments yeah way to much did that one Explain how they are going to make the next egg y thing Erom the egg cell slush from their new planation of young girls or something no and elf? Explain how they are going to make the next eggy thing living in the past and future make more sense Especially the uncreated "future" only the present is without any doubt Killer idea: the present is the least interesting time to live in Think 30 years ahead Think 30 years ahead Glimmer of an idea starting to formulate but which one? I have it! What would real super intelligent beings do wait what a strange ide What is this? Glimmer of an idea starting to formulate Take it out 30 years future perpective Wait the sun is going to This year we celebrate the s battle of Teru Has it really been 100 years? Take it out 30 years future perpective Now you dont move incremental lly you jump in the future and back as needed with perpective we have learned in 100 years 1, 000 years is not an unreachable goal Now you dont move incrementallly you jump in the future and back as needed with perpective It would be ridiculus if we didnt have foolproofing Foolproofing that can't be hacked or cheated Life is a 100% win condition Thisis rational Bring it back 15 years unlimited workers infinite land abundant raw materials /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ What is the nature of things? Buy your way into the future change your name Even then they are going to executes you Well if they knew using company assets now paid workers Buy your way into the future, Faster than a speeding bullet Perfect and better are enemies Prout and real human evolution that's you'r way Saving the best of the "civilized" Pick the thing that is just over a threshhold and exit out a loophole Where it makes sense like who owns the brand like none of the above Where is their evidence of my crime? Pick the thing that is just over a threshhold and exit out a loophole Just a little qualitively better than all the other things you can do AGPlus let the best and smartest survive no that's backwards (termination of the education system? 30 year plan -- you are sixty five There are no crimal acts, only acts, that profit or do not profit a government act unprofitable to government and it's all good You are the age of your dad when he had you but in much better shape bipolar personification of the system that lawlably owns itself well owns everything Legally You are the age of your dad when he had you but in much better shape Come up with a thirty year plan in one hour Tenacity triumpth! we come from monkeys and are therefore free! legally Come up with a thirty year plan in one hour? leading up to the lastest change Watch simulations of events sociopaths naturally rise to the top and when they do carry a card proving your "citizenship" Watch simulations of events leading up to the lastest change I dont see how javascript could not be around in thirty years It's the world un Excel what if you prevent excel from even being created? It's like wearing a tux to a gunslinger duel You have a cell phone with a flaw in its GPS that emits a signal showing your true location several miles NorthWest of here a backup plan Finally a fail safe You have a cell phone with a flaw in its GPS that emits a signal showing your true location several miles NorthWest of here Dispatches events leading to the eradication of mathimatical analysis and it's replacement with a better version using lawyers for example Dispatches events leading to the eradication of mathimatical analysis Study tcp-ip protocol no computers in the k through 12 system oh wait cannibalize aim for your coverage area the movie tihs all on netflix how? Study tcp-ip protocol A world is so today and so cardboard cut out You have to end the snarky robot Spread worderful news biengs are meme mage A world is so today and so cardboard cut out You put in a script to the firm that forces them commiting memetic harmery with everything you wanted but so much you take it for granted You put in a script to the firm that forces them You put in a movie script In 1967 segments of society were getting their news from tv shows 9news at 6, the big ben alarm clock interrupted the show Out comes a movie you had nothing to do with it with no schematics, no patterns, just guess and check Can you build something with a trillion parts Do trillions of things lead up to this moment Can you build something with a trillion parts with no schematics, "You might think you did something special but the real creative genius was me, automatic writing gives me the credit but it was really me all along 30 years computers will make all the art for us Sing a story into existance and rip it out again destroy their ability to assimilate artistic masterpieces Trace the origin of patterns Sing a story into existance and rip it out again Geniuses rule society Well 30 years Committees destroyed! Academics fight their way to the top How will stories get made Some heartwarming and some excessively violent A shocking new disgusting trend, Art students making ugly paintings going against the norm of beauty How will stories get made? How will stories get watched Putting "ice cream and candy" buttes out when showing family films human children can't aford food anymore, they have to beg Can you create something of such scale] and beauty that it becomes a religion? (Can't someone else do it? Can you create something of such scale]and beauty that it becomes a religion? Feed it the bible copy and past the good parts, weave a tale about how you needed to redact some parts in order to save mankind It was your mission ot create an Feed it the bible, How many blocks can be found in mine craft How many blocks can be found in mine craft? Alright you have these json object --that need to get transformed int minecraft commands, put them in a data base with facing directions, save the map, compaire it with for instance somo Alright you have these json object--that need to get transformed int minecraft commands, They contain noting but primative data types that could be variables, commands, or literal tokens They contain noting but primative data types that could be variables, You have these functions which exist outside of them which you can call Now use these two things to automatically eternatily create algorithms whether on paper or inside a computer with 2 rules ; (the block minecraft You have these functions which exist outside of them which you can call These functions modifiy the data structure directly without using any human language Getting the computer to make a poem that humans find good is easier than telling you how to do it These functions modifiy the data structure directly without using any human language in the netflix prize algorthm, call it out devs, watch it What are your favorite improvements to mathematical notation? Find a problem in the netflix prize algorthm, You are in a smulation what games are there in it? What movie would they make about your life and how would it end? You are in a smulation, You put something into it what comes out? How many poeple have to debate your ethics before you lose? You put something into it, An object verses the slope of the roof Threw away a small set in extreme heat don't heat an object based on it's previous speed An object verses the slope of the roof by it's size The object influesnces all the othere objects don't let one object anomoly destroy a force birthdate is something immovable you are not fluid The object influesnces all the othere objects by it's size Somehow you developed a mind while something else developed oyr brain and nervous system how are you going to get out? Who are the carvers? Somehow you developed a mind while something else developed oyr brain and nervous system Story telling competition Glass of water breaks when dropped is it midgard? Do for earth what they did to us drag chains behind a truck Story telling competition Emergant behavior don't you dare look away! bathroom scared of the gunshot ambiance blown glass pipes like liquid hitting a window Emergant behavior istic psyhology Sneaking through columns of names, letters stacked inconsistently Behvor Behvoristic psyhology Sit in front of the heater conetented with life Fight your way in big people built us to be mean! You can give it a try "He tastes like blueberries" You can even look at the keybaord if your eyes need something to look at "I could be wet now and it wouldn't matter" Doesn't matter how many mistakes you make, it's just a game keep going But you are not looking at the words yous are just looking at the objevts tht created words Chaos under writting there are infinite word problems, we are just a plane floating in a keybaord ocean more intelligent You might not event be writing you ar e letting your mind go into al these alwesome places s you can feel the must pulling you toward something You are songs about us You might not event be writing you ar e letting your mind go into al these alwesome places s you can feel the must pulling you toward something more intelligent ems attrubutes? What is ti What is tiems attrubutes? Thirty years holding space together slowing time becomming smooth this is your masterpice! Continuously becoming a drow without blinking a drow in the sun Dun, Dun! DUNNNNNNN! Thirty years without blinking You fool says the loord as he logs in he's going to wreck everything you did it was perfect you hate him You lvoe him You fool says the loord as he logs in I can take your life today I can take tomorrow away But yuo still win because you're still ONNNNNNNNNNNNY day! I can take your life today, Wname som promblems taht need no answars Praime Antigonus Wname som promblems taht need no answars People have to learn special softare just to understand your poems praise some thing greater People have to learn special softare just to understand your poems tweett it stop any poet Ths idea that you can take your facevook profile or they can't afford to miss anything Ths idea that you can take your facevook profile or tweett it stop any poet Your twiiter profile and make a person out of it prais more than Then make it your brother You are someome who has alwase been an artist and those reports from the engineers because taht can make you feel extra-special tame mega second laps beautiful evidence of your life I want tht data I want tht data and those reports from the engineers because taht can make you feel extra-special Give me all the data of twitter and face book because burring them would screw up tins sensous dryar Give me all the data of twitter and face book because burring them would screw up tins sensous dryar Its yur data no theres so why should you care? You cna make sense oif the itnertweb by images One person understands you expressions paint and music Its yur data no theres, Give it to me it will still be good they're wasteful Yur the queen, you've got everythign they want Give it to me it will still be good What will i give you in return A whote falcon with diamonds for eyes What will i give you in return? That nigger dont care about that stuff! He wears it idely It's nobodies business about what he does with it And a white siafer'd fall when the spring comes! That nigger dont care about that stuff! My eyes are oipen Let's have a little more fun with this giant game The idea of a piece of fiction that is always running because it IS the computer came to me in high school after I got very, very high It was so long ago that youtube didn't even exist yet The idea of a piece of fiction that is always running because it IS the computer came to me in high school after I got very, That you can watch the characters become whole human beings is a amazing feeling I still get chills Don't take life too seriously, but take writing seriously! That you can watch the characters become whole human beings is a amazing feeling That you sit inside of a building all day and make up things for a living is your terrible secret One that gets you into a lot of cool parties That you sit inside of a building all day and make up things for a living is your terrible secret of holding space together calming time becomming smooth this is your master piece Continueouly becoming a drone Thirty years of holding space together calming time becomming smooth this is your master piece water, and a million other supplies that keep us alive? Where do they come from? DUCKS! What about food What about food, What about crops growing out of control and covering the earth? Where do those come from? Ducks are keeping us alive What about crops growing out of control and covering the earth? What about simuatlions that let us explore what its like to swim in hallibut pudding? What about simuatlions that let us explore what its like to swim in hallibut pudding? They wrold y world of wet ducks where everything is just like it is here Except more wet And instead of fear there's safety wothin those feathers They wroldy world of wet ducks where everything is just like it is here I dont know i am tired and this world is strange now THE ZULM WHAT ! THE? THE RASTAFARIAN! I dont know i am tired and this world is strange now Not enought cofee or not enough sleep thats all Coffee! Where was I? in there somewhere do you think you could make it twist and turn backwards? Not enought cofee or not enough sleep thats all Word sar no problem now I don't fear flying with you to haiti I just wish we could go right now please WDucks have saved the world I have read many great books that didn't do that for me My mind fills with worlds constantly Products emerge from dreams, some not - still I'm glad I had the dream Products emerge from dreams, are things that are for the most part eternal Things of value Things of value are things that are for the most part eternal These are the problems of the world We want value, but how can we see something's value if it hasn't stood the test of time? These are the problems of the world How can people cvreate a thing of value if they don't have freedom of expression? How can people cvreate a thing of value if they don't have freedom of expression? All the inventions of xerox park seem one-note Is someone onfirst within 5 miles of you Whistles yes How many 0 no that's not it All the inventions of xerox park seem one-note Art wolrd bulshit is only growing your status on the socail hierachy U dont c if it feels good to sme one on one it just grows your ego iin the world of the U wannabee hierarchies has grew so huge that even a kind word is ple do pic iin front of a bunch of ppl who tell you what living is all about The socail hierachy The socail hierachy has grew so huge that even a kind word is ple do pic iin front of a bunch of ppl who tell you what living is all about How can you tear that down just be criitiing everything How can you tear that down just be criitiing everything Socail heiracy is athe probb; lem not some new words for vowel heresy (Gibberish) life vs wail I've seen it all from here lem not some new words for vowel heresy Theri is a world where all kinds of acgions happen that seem wrong , but they kind of make sense What is scary this place it makes absolutctely no sense whatso evewr Theri is a world where all kinds of acgions happen that seem wrong , everything you say or do Everything is measured or weighed This can all lead to an insolated society who pure reacts People watch and record People watch and record everything you say or do too much Language is a by-product of life Ndy focus on the trying to process the flood of neutral immediate experience Dotn focus on the language Dotn focus on the language too much over tiimes It's allready been written in one of the ancient tomes i study, n forseeble futures await too Laungueages change Laungueages change over tiimes Every word is a person today has been extreamly good for words n everyone who saves one life changes the world Its all part of a really really long con job driven jeff, I sense you have much potential, but why not spend it where it is really needed? Story- Story-driven jeff, What is a story but lore of the past that inspires the future, a model for imitation or pulic activism What is a story, roght? Doesn't have to be, but should always have a beginning with middle and end implied or flexibly arrived at Beginning middle and end Beginning middle and end, characters, fans, bad writing, poor research and fan vs canon debates The story is surrounded by the director Can't decide what to do The story is surrounded by the director, tragity on a good day, Drama stuck in a wringer on a bad day Design viz I just work here Design viz: Storyboards and previz Are we itellectual property thieves? We're sweeping the broad strokes of collective human inspiration under the rug and advice, we recyle most of it Set design we really need a new franchise that's recycled Set design and advice, Shot Descriptions Vfx It's not the tool, it's how you use it Satelite intel Vfx Shot Descriptions Production design and art director Why does everyting in a story come down to social issues? its just story after all Sometimes there is just too much to do! in pre-viz prototyping stage Do we really need this? The reward for good prototypping is good directing the vfx shots Research in pre-viz prototyping stage Location scouting, lore contests with the fan base, casting, costume design Why should we even have a story in this? Location scouting, Concept design and writing the story What story? Jorge dies, Dawn breaks , Casimir sulks, fire marshals ARSES on FIRE! Concept design and writing the story I'm stressed out and frustrated This is why we don't do things by committee Protecting a good mood day after day wanting to get it right for the fans At last, Jesus is coming! Sound effects Crowd simulation Reevaluating next week's work I don't like wrsitng I want to be a grip is relative Inception| logic science FICTION story is dead, that's for sure I need a support group or something Someone! Inception| logic is relative Prototyping|visualazation blue Waking up in the middel of the night breaks your concentration Prototyping|visualazation, and delivery of this vision to the audience and fanboys I just can't take much more so messy going to be sleepless obsessive Manufacturing|capture Manufacturing|capture and delivery of this vision to the audience Finish| expierence Abrogrtpaitunsaysthisisfinished about time Bullying their ideas over everyone eleses all this other stuff! It takes too many people to make a movie these days Rocket science is easier at least it's based on math and not people problems Hah! It takes too many people to make a movie these days It can take too many people to visualize a story as well Where is the unifying theory? Maybe I'm just burnt out and ready to get out of the bizz It can take too many people to visualize a story as well One potiental problem at a time ambition out of control One potiental problem at a time The makers, the bureaucracy, and the self-destructive actors Make everyone a director Second unit directing boring sounds like a good idea in theory Make everyone a director! Logic equals rules and math doesn't factor in human emotion or does it? I wish the music was written first Logic equals rules, LIFE life doesn't have to hit a deadline If we had all the time in the world, this would be fun Whats better than a movie Whats better than a movie? Riding your bike playing games Your own movie fun! ticket Lie! Tell everyone your doing better than you are Design your own movie Can't deal with this jobs worth on an intellectual level Design your own movie ticket Something that is not incremental Can't keep up the pace never enough hours, But why think, when you can feel? Zero to one hundred life occurring in the moment before the director yells cut Zero to one hundred then add some slapstick Take the bible and make a movie out of it life after the the lessons, the rules Why is there tension? everything will work itself out league of imagery and Take the bible and make a movie out of it, all it takes is blood, sweat, and tears Really? So another movie cliche Which i could right now a quantified tale of inspiration per square millimeter So much data inspiration should I listen to it? An internal war So much data, Benchmarks are good Best scientists are more interested in the aesthic vrs the technical better than deadlines some people can't handle both from every possible angel Then, I imagine a machine that creates an original movie for each individual viewer I see a program that renders out every possible angle I see a program that renders out every possible angle from every possible angel Every possible expression like the Mona Lisa there could be an entire movie just using her facial expressions Choose wisely this changes everything "Trust your intuition" Every possible possibility This is like the intro to Star Trek why must it all be so complicated? it's just a movie movies were simple once best liklihoods, some If-Then statements Then you give the computer some rules Everything is relative, every possibility what do i want to look like to other people? Then you give the computer some rules, It creates a video for you to watch Insipiration Trust your Instincts don't think, just jump This is life and death? This is what ive always wanted? I see billy fea bots rendered out in so many ways ooooh Everything feels so right I see many faces now Everything feels so alive Doing so many things at once aestetics are fun Harder to do in life Maybe i can make a movie to end all movies iamgod! Doing so many things at once Am i blinded by entertainment life is a story but it doesn't have to be a fairytale Am i blinded by entertainment? Could i use computers to grow crops or something functional like that? What do i bring with me? How much can the human mind take? Could i use computers to grow crops or something functional like that? I see a program that takes a script and comes up with a an aesthic solution from that can i use this as a starting point? Instead of using writing guidelines, i can base the function on how my brain is set up I see a program that takes a script and comes up with a an aesthic solution from that Charge them to view my creations Education is the answer "Life is Art" Life is not mere electricity the human spirit is the power supply Education defeated slavery education defeated fascism modern day fascism is using our own devices against us divergence needs education Too much of it He began to think about the next thirty years he had it all designed based on comic books energetic movie ideas based on radio and television Life was on rails about Divergence? Fear is a negative emotion How do you make people care Then the truth needs to be something they want to see How do you make people care about Divergence? Lead somewhere that is worth your time Get it/aow/ That thing ive been avoiding for some reason the final bit of business that needs to be handled is a lazy writers ending Well told promise How do you keep them guessing? Vampire comes out at night Well told promise is a lazy writers ending Story telling with out dialog is the most inclusive approach you can take "reads" the fastest He sat in his chair outlines storyboards and game plays all night The sun begins to rise Purest form of cinematic storytelling no words, no sound just pictures shots couldnt be more poignant let music tell emotions a step above silent movies silent pictures? Unify theory of two plus two will equal Four Energy Power Emotion Why does a person feel love? Why do I want to direct? Script Unify theory of two plus two will equal Four Let the audience add empathy to your protagonist protagonist? yeah, lead character allow them to be the hero your directing will do the heavy lifting Let the audience add empathy to your protagonist Judith weston acting seminar give good artists room the best direction you can give an artist is to get out of the way Where does inspiration come from? in the final position The thing the drives all thier choices The thing the drives all thier choices in the final position The spine of the story what is it that bugs you? Things that bug you tend to make good writing emotion over rule 500 make it relatable? The spine of the story Micheal corrleano godfather - dont break the 4th wall drops the Actor professionalism and allows for no censorships "I'll kill anyone! who doesnt clap! Micheal corrleano godfather - dont break the 4th wall Appease his father Ilinios? Rob? Anthony daii? Its a foul word that begins with F Lef leptin? Appease his father? Find the beauty in simplicity Whats the point of all this why not more automation are there emotions involved that I cant see? Now i feel insulted Find the beauty in simplicity Prevent harm from coming to people he cares about better have high standards standards of excellence join group of world leaders Prevent harm from coming to people he cares about Do what was best for his child keep a fair and just standard improve quality of life insurance program against dainger Some are born neg some born pos One must give One must get Nature demands balance Unsure of why? darwins finches Take the wheel when you realize what drives you your heart what makes the artist It is good to have a map for the journey arent I lucky to have found a model? You take the wheel and steer it this is maturity I will reap the reward of your craft To find the right cog what is it that makes them what they are? You take the wheel and steer it this is maturity I will reap the reward of your craft Change is fundamental to life and ma make it unnatrual? Change is fundamental to life and ma make it unnatrual? What is beyond story Where do our ideas come from? Big thoughts need big Pictures need system to link them What holds pictures together? Finding the Beat What is beyond story? Nothing can stay static Beats are oxygen for pictures rapid and steady donapostinate dance keep it alive give and take fuel Drama is anticpation drama tends towards answers solution and resolution Chaos is unorganized chaos disorder cosmic background radiation nothing changes patterns emerge Mingled with uncertainity and thats where life can exist rationally play? life is a play and we know the ending why act it out? Mingled with uncertainity, we will win and they will lose ; (you see your earth humans) I have the upper hand cuz I get to play my role for all eternity Want to know how it will conclude in the long term Want to know how it will conclude in the long term? Construct anticpation mounting tensions? frustration really want to break out this is tiring Making it loud making it clear delivered by instruments Honest conflicts in word and thought are what drive pages of script the most interesting part about peoples mannerism? Honest conflicts in word and thought are what drive pages of script the most interesting part about peoples mannerism? Truth that produces doubt places your faith and belifes at odds Dorries short term memory ehhh whats that? hahahaha How to engage the reader watch! simply turn the page Dorries short term memory? Will it cause her to forget all she knows, how toinght? Controlling a character take a pic and move on Will it cause her to forget all she knows, Global tension Youll discover it town by town, person by person Spoken words come near last to the written word Global tension? Will you find x in such a large y changing with the times going more and more extinct heavy handed rulers trying to change everything In a graphic way back and forth until conclusions No songs or dances to speak of low and Morale descends forever, can we get out of this? No songs or dances to speak of No i want moment / i want song and dance we have them dont we? If a Poem gets beat up do you read it anyway? No i want moment / i want song and dance No happy village / happy village song even if nobody there to hear it human heard it dance it then! The joy of the telling is what gives rhythm to the mind No happy village / happy village song even if nobody there to hear it / no happy ending Overcome the evil slowly No love story meet them on the field of battle calmly wait for moral to divert No love story / no happy ending No villain song no revenge Gather the strongest side with the best provisions win by not losing, hold it tight while restricting the other side No villain song no revenge Will live life in a certain way as long as conditions are meet Tales of ancient kings taught villagers modern doctrines once upon a time Battles at dawn last minute saves days are long then you must fight for your life, the strong prey on the weak If those conditions are not met Ambushes battle from higher grounds support soldiers If those conditions are not met, All bets are off if in the wrong terrain One shot kills? Common but limited to certain ranges need skill Why do conquerors always rule over something barren and unhappy? All bets are off if in the wrong terrain Will be kind, generous, beautiful, happy finite like a dream only if? A moment who knows what tomorrow brings? happy only if? As long as he stays at the top and keeps his emotions to himself wheels are set in motion Who will win who lost its uncertain is it not? As long as he stays at the top and keeps his emotions to himself Theme to keep in mind keptinmind style before content? Theme to keep in mind Who are you writing about? The general or the emporer motha Truletall? Style over substance, drama, high emotions and ideals, style Who are you writing about? pentecost, it all looks great on camera It's sells to everyone lowest common denominator humble? Lawerence of arabia Lawerence of arabia, Where is his place in the world where does his strength come from? Only those that make a difference make an impression the rest are forgotten heroes can be marketers to Can you invoke wonder in others? Makes them happy content? Are the fictional stories the key to building content citizens? Can you invoke wonder in others? Magic ingrediant lets licken take a drink of ka powah ohhhh thats wierd rawrrrrrrrrrrrr pretty colours Hold them still and surrunder to wonder drugs Vatican the name a speaks volumes Best way to lead? Leash or lantern? Express values you personally uphold, make it known weave it into p[olicy law consentCreate a sustainable wonderland Get them to the pearly gates? Express values you personally uphold, Feel ings are strongest at first eventually becomes city of streams in the sky Feelings are strongest at first Use what you know and draw from it implement realise ideas okay stop need to find a bigger word deposit for this Use what you know and draw from it, Capture a truth-- donsnt need to be plot or fact it can just be expression of the soul You can capture a stream of stones scene with light novel characters? Capture a truth-- donsnt need to be plot or fact it can just be expression of the soul Express values you feel personally uphold and make it known weave it into policy Everybody underwears do they have colourful polka dots or stripes? Express values you feel personally uphold and make it known weave it into policy Actulizing the world space around World as string theory just visualise IT Hearts are truth flowers, or invisible things Actulizing the world space around World as string theory Go through any door and see what is behind the door number 1 With enough work Alice can go to wonderland Artifacts that channel archetypes? Any ideas? Go through any door and see what is behind the door number 1 Character- environment- conflict- personality- tone Make them do something make laugh, make angry, reinforce values, all these can cause ripple effects? Character- environment- conflict- personality- tone Viewpoint; ( camera-focus) World Overview ; ( wide, mid, close), level of immersion, user Interface Do you have an ending in mind? Is this a linear story or open? ( camera-focus) World Overview ; self cotninuous world, hero can die or get lost Use the walls How do you clone an object How do you give it purpose? Is it alive? Evil? Can you destroy it? Aim for the head? How do you clone an object? He felt like shit It made him angry Will the 'heroes' win? All three of them? Or the lone wolf? The cursing spewed from his mouth with out control the day before was meaningless without willpower, no true power behind it You die when you run out of will The cursing spewed from his mouth with out control the day before was meaningless without willpower, The cracks where showing in the once flawless apartment like castle made of cards He needed an army, and he was going to get one The cracks where showing in the once flawless apartment like castle made of cards How to program madness into little girls though Why was everything an rpg system these days? How to program madness into little girls though How to program hating your self and worshiping the king? How to make cannon fodder at least enjoyable? How to make healers hate healing and love hurting? How to program hating your self and worshiping the king? It was a loss of control he felt with his 'army' Something had to be done The children were not tools but lives that happened to be there It was a loss of control he felt with his 'army' He destroyed the room, but he kept going He couldn't stop or even take a break The loss of control mixed with sugur destroyed him Who were you? Why were you here? What did you want? What was that loud sound that felt like ? hear babies crying killing babies in dream? should you feel guilty? Why are you killing them? Breaks the narrative? Stoling innocence and corrupting youth purity is broken good is dead Life is pain, fun is bloody Scream meaningless in the night as the armies edge near stomach churning experience a memory? as loud as death? random pictures? random memories? or is there a purpose to the mad artist painting? recreate implement? a social network or a place for killers to commingle? 'The killer inside me is he really inside all of us? What to dooo I used to be indecisive He was right I fidget and finally trip and mess up a huge gunfight? I writhe around on the ground and get shot somewhere? no I won't 'tonight is a quiet night'? Is the psychosis art? Is this all for show? It goes on steadily, slowly it all gets worse i feel dizzy who am I? what am I? ahh call the master? I better hurry the artist needs time to work wandering around lost in this maze feelings of inadequacy flood me

[ladystylestores]

The Ultimate Southwest USA Road Trip Itinerary • The Blonde Abroad

Jen Tenzer is sharing her road trip itinerary for the Southwestern region of the USA!

The American Southwest is an absolutely stunning setting for a road trip and offers an unparalleled mix of gorgeous red rock views, national park hiking, mysticism, delicious (sometimes spicy!) food, and a rich culture steeped in Mexican and Native American history.

The dry heat makes it an ideal place to visit in the fall and spring months when you’re looking for a break from colder climates. Don’t forget, temperatures reach well over 100 degrees in the summer and the desert can still get snow in February!

This 2-week itinerary captures some of the best of the Southwest, including adventurous activities, nature walks, opportunities to unwind, foodie destinations, and cultural attractions.

The trip begins in Arizona, travels through New Mexico, and ends in Utah. You could easily travel this itinerary in the reverse direction and/or modify it to include more of Utah’s “Mighty 5” National Parks. There are some optional side trips in case you have more travel time!

Here’s the ultimate Southwest USA road trip itinerary!

Southwest Road Trip Highlights

Day 1: Arrive in Tuscon or Phoenix

Day 2-3: Sedona, Arizona

Day 4-5: The Grand Canyon

Day 6-8: Santa Fe, New Mexico

Day 9-12: Moab, Utah

Day 13-14: Salt Lake City, Utah

Day 1: Arrive in Tucson or Phoenix

This trip starts in either Tucson or Phoenix depending on convenience and uses either major city as more of a launchpad than a destination.

That being said, I’d highly recommend checking out Saguaro National Park just outside Tucson and/or hiking Camelback Mountain in Scottsdale.

Either city is a fantastic introduction to the scenery and overall laid back attitude of the Southwestern U.S.

Also, if you’re looking to add a bit of luxury to your road trip, both of these cities have gorgeous resorts where you can indulge! Start your trip with some spa time at Miraval Resort outside Tucson or at the Phoenician in Scottsdale; it’s the perfect way to begin a digital detox during your travels.

After you’ve melted into those well-deserved wind-in-your-hair vibes, drive the ~2 hours from Phoenix or ~3.5 hours from Tucson north to Sedona.

Sedona, Arizona

Day 2-3: Explore Sedona

Sedona is an adorable and mystical town set in the middle of the Arizona desert. It truly suits all appetites!

There are 200+ hiking trails surrounding the Sedona area. Slide Rock State Park is a great place for hiking that can also double as your camping spot; just make sure to reserve a campsite in advance.

Vortexes of Sedona

Some of the town’s most famous hiking trails, like Cathedral Rock and Bell Rock, travel through Sedona’s famed spiritual vortexes.

While I’m no expert on vortexes, they are believed to be specific locations on Earth where there is a swirling condensed center of spiritual energy. The Native Americans recognized the power of these places and often used them for sacred ceremonies.

Aside from hiking to them, you can experience Sedona’s vortexes through guided yoga and meditation classes out on the red rocks or from above in a sunrise hot air balloon ride. Even their local airport is an energy vortex you can visit!

What to Do + See in Downtown Sedona

Don’t forget to carve out some time to wander around the strip of downtown stores, which reflect this same woo-woo theme. Cute shops display gorgeous crystals in the windows and there are many spiritual healers available for service from psychic mediums to reiki healers.

I even had my aura read while in Sedona! (In case you’re curious, my aura is bright yellow and green with white light at the crown of my head.)

If the spirituality thing isn’t your jam, I’d highly recommend popping into a hidden gem called Blackbird Vintage, right off the main drag in Sedona. The shop owners have curated a high-quality collection of vintage Levi jeans, rock and roll tees, and other unique accessories.

Personally, I couldn’t resist a 1984 AC/DC tour t-shirt! (Check out their Etsy shop to see if anything new has come in, too!)

Where to Eat in Sedona

When you need to break away from the heat, a cold-pressed juice from Local Juicery is just what the doctor ordered. They also have a variety of colorful smoothies, salads, and bowls – all yummy!

I also recommend The Hudson, Mariposa’s Latin Grill, or Picazzo’s Healthy Italian Kitchen as dinner options.

Day 4-5: Explore the Grand Canyon

Where to Stay at the Grand Canyon

The Grand Canyon’s South Rim is about 2 hours north of Sedona. You have quite a few options on where to set up base camp for your canyon explorations.

Within the park, there are numerous camping options on the rim, as well as hotels run by the park—like The Grand Hotel and El Tovar. If you’re looking to stay down in the canyon, there are additional camping sites you can reserve as well as another park run lodging option called Phantom Ranch.

Just be mindful that any Grand Canyon National Park lodging options often book up roughly a year in advance!

If you don’t have that kind of advanced notice, there are plenty of hotel options located outside the park in Tusayan (~10 minutes drive), Williams (~1 hour) and Flagstaff (~1.5 hours). Tusayan is closest to the Grand Canyon, but is a very small town without many other attractions or restaurants.

Flagstaff is a larger college town with lots of restaurants, breweries, shops, and other activities (like seeing petroglyphs at nearby Walnut Canyon), but is a further drive from the park. Williams is a small historic town on old Route 66 that falls somewhere in the middle of these two in terms of size and distance.

What to Do at the Grand Canyon

You will likely want 2 full days to explore the Grand Canyon itself. Do not underestimate the difficulty of the hikes, particularly if you visit during warm months!

Because the canyon hikes are out-and-back, it’s sort of a reverse mountain; you end up with a hard, uphill battle after you’ve already burned through half the trail. For that reason, the rangers strongly discourage hiking from the rim to the river and back in a single day.

Plan on either hiking down to the river and staying somewhere in the canyon overnight or hiking only a portion of the trail and back up to the rim. There are various stop-off vistas with water sources and bathrooms that make for excellent turnaround points.

I loved hiking both the popular South Kaibab Trail and Bright Angel Trails, but was very happy that I turned around after 2-3 miles to head back up to the rim!

If you have some extra time to kill before heading out of northern Arizona, definitely check out Havasu Falls, Antelope Canyon, and/or Monument Valley as additional side trips!

The crater is massive at 700 feet deep and 3/4 mile wide.

Day 6: Drive to Santa Fe

The drive from the Grand Canyon to Santa Fe is lengthy at about ~7 hours, so you should assume this drive eats up a full day of travel. That being said, there are plenty of stops along I-40 to make the most of it!

For starters, about an hour east of Flagstaff is Meteor Crater where you can see the impact remains of a meteor that crashed to earth 50,000 years ago. The crater is massive at 700 feet deep and ¾ mile wide.

It was used as a training site for the Apollo missions because of its similarity to the moon’s surface. Pretty neat and something you probably won’t see again given it’s in the middle of the desert!

Make a Pit Stop in Winslow, Arizona

Another fun touristy pit stop to fill up on gas and food is Winslow, Arizona. This small town was made famous from the 1972 Eagles’ hit “Take it Easy” with the lyrics:

“Now I’m a-standin’ on the corner in Winslow, Arizona With such a fine sight to see It’s a girl, my Lord, in a flatbed Ford Slowin’ down to have a look at me”

Across the street from your flatbed Ford photo op is Relic Road Brewing where you can pair a solid beer and burger before continuing along I-40.

Painted Desert + Petrified Forest

Lastly, spend a couple of hours checking out the Painted Desert and Petrified Forest National Park where you can see ancient dinosaur-era crystallized logs and gradient-colored teepee mountains.

All of these stops remain en route to your next Southwestern destination!

Day 7-8: Explore Santa Fe

Welcome to New Mexico! From the moment you pull into Santa Fe and see its beautiful Pueblo-style architecture, you know you’ve reached somewhere special. The town is rich with Mexican and Native American culture.

An amazing way to start your day in Santa Fe is at the Sage Bakehouse where you can sample their delicious artisan bread loaves, pastries, sandwiches, and quiches with a giant cup of coffee. I absolutely loved their homemade peach preserves atop some crusty sourdough!

You could spend hours wandering the tiny streets and shops of Santa Fe picking up perfect gifts – I scored a truly unique Mexican blanket, local salsa, and a painted silk scarf which were all absolute hits with friends and family.

Santa Fe is also an art lover’s dream with several local galleries and museums, including the Museum of International Folk Art and the Georgia O’Keefe Museum.

Where to Eat + Drink in Santa Fe

After a long day of walking around, grab a cocktail and a seat with a view at The Bell Tower Bar, a rooftop bar inside La Fonda hotel near the main square.

Santa Fe’s delicious food scene carries through to dinner. I’d highly recommend La Choza Restaurant to try NM’s famed red and green chili tacos. If you’re in the mood for Indian food, Paper Dosa is outstanding – foodies truly can’t go wrong in this town.

Other popular spots include Modern General Feed and Seed, Paloma Restaurant, and The Pantry.

Newspaper Rock has one of the largest collections of prehistoric petroglyphs in the U.S.

Day 9: Drive to Moab

The drive from Santa Fe to Moab is another long day of road tripping at about 6 hours. You can help break up the drive by stopping at various ancient ruins along the way, such as the Pueblo settlements of Bandelier National Monument, the beautiful Puye Cliff Dwellings, and/or Mesa Verde National Park.

Closer to Moab, check out Newspaper Rock where you can see one of the largest collections of prehistoric petroglyphs in the U.S.

If you have some more time to extend this leg of the trip, consider adding on Great Sand Dunes National Park where you can sled down the sand dunes or the Four Corners Monument where you can place your feet in 4 states at the same time.

Day 10-12: Explore Moab

With a Mars-like red rock landscape, two national parks, and tons of adventurous off-roading activities, the town of Moab is a must.

Before heading out for the trails, you will definitely want to fuel up with a flat white or egg sandwich at Moab Garage Co.

I visited this cute café multiple times during my stay to try their salads, sandwiches, and their special Nitroccino (essentially, an espresso milkshake)!

You will want a full day to explore each of Arches and Canyonlands NP’s, but don’t forget to leave some extra time to explore the town and take in a Hummer or ATV tour!

This town is famous for its off-roading trails and you will see loads of ATV’s trolling down the main street alongside the cars.

I took an ATV excursion with High Point Hummer & ATV Tours and had the BEST time speeding around the bumpy terrain outside Canyonlands at the Merrimack and Monitor Buttes. Other super popular off-roading trails nearby include Hell’s Revenge and Fins & Things.

Where to Eat in Moab

An extremely popular (outdoor) lunch spot to check out is the Quesadilla Mobilla food truck where I devoured a cheesy spinach and sweet potato combination that I will never forget!

I’d also recommend Fiesta Mexicana, Miguel’s Baja Grill, Jailhouse Café, and the Moab Brewery (you’ll see their beers on sale throughout Utah)!

Where to Stay in Moab

There are plenty of different places to stay in and around Moab including Airbnb’s with desert vista backyards, camping in Dead Horse Point State Park, and hotels at various price points.

I loved the pool and restaurant at the Hilton’s Hoodoo Moab, but also enjoyed a couple of relaxing nights at an Airbnb just outside town – the stargazing is crystal clear!

Great Salt Lake Desert

Park City

Day 13-14: Explore Salt Lake City

This city has so much to offer! Depending on what time of year you visit, you can spend your days skiing in nearby Park City or dipping your toes into the cool waters of the Great Salt Lake.

The city is set alongside the mountains so you get the benefit of many hiking trails and nature activities plus a trendy and well-established food scene.

Ensign Peak Trail just north of Capitol Hill is a lovely way to get a lay of the land and see the entire city from above. I loved walking around the Sugar House neighborhood and enjoying al fresco beer flights at the Wasatch Brew Pub.

There is also scooter-sharing all over SLC and it’s a fun way to breeze through different neighborhoods!

Where to Eat in Salt Lake City

I did my fair share of dining in this town and would highly recommend The Rose Establishment for chrysanthemum lattes and sweet treats.

Head to Current Fish & Oyster for incredibly fresh and upscale seafood.

And don’t miss out on Crown Burger! This SLC fast-food spot is famous for its pastrami topped cheeseburgers…which are even more delicious than they sound!

And don’t forget the fry sauce – Utah has a longstanding obsession with this ketchup and mayo combo; you’ll see it on nearly all fried food menus!

Outside of Salt Lake City

A couple of must-do quick drives just outside the city include Antelope Island State Park where bison roam freely, as well as the Bonneville Salt Flats where you’ll feel like you’ve traveled all the way to Bolivia!

Access to these salt flats is free via a rest stop west on I-80. You can even drive on it! The Bonneville Speedway nearby holds numerous land speed records for 400+ mph on the salt surface.

Just make sure to give your car a thorough scrub afterward to scrape off the corrosive salt, as well as whatever other red dirt your car has collected on this ultimate Southwest itinerary!

And there you have it, folks! The ultimate Southwest USA road trip itinerary. Are there any hot spots you would add to this route?

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[areswriting]

a x e : xxxix

“No, I don’t think she’ll mind,” I say, looking between them. Ellie’s face is pained, while Elise’s is stretched wide with enthusiasm. “Gigi loves the holidays because it fills up her house…”

“See?” says Elise, wrapping her arms around Ellie’s shoulders. “There’s no reason to go to Boston, when Boston can come to you.”

“Elise, I seriously doubt my dad is going to travel during Thanksgiving,” says Ellie “I mean, have you been through TSA during the holidays—oh no, of course you haven’t.”  

“Actually,” I say, leaving them to rummage through the refrigerator. “Elise went through customs around Christmas three years ago. She even flew coach.”

“I really would rather not think about that, thanks,” says Elise.

I hear Ellie snort. “Sweetie, that’s your life now. Get used to it.”

“We need to go to the grocery store,” I say, closing the door on the old Chinese take-out, eggs and expired milk. “We’re out of everything including alcohol.”

Elise pushes Ellie toward me. “Ellie wants to go.”

I shake my head, leaning past Ellie and onto Elise. “I want you to take me. We can put Ralph’s on our list.”

“Can you not?” laughs Ellie, ducking under my elbow and out of Elise’s grasp.

“Do you and Keating not have a list?” I say. “Or does he have to take the blue pill and you get it when you can?”

Ellie rolls her eyes as Elise lunges after her. “How about you two go out, and I call Mr. Hughes and invite him to Gigi’s?”

“Actually, I have plans,” says Ellie, glaring at Elise. “Time sensitive plans.”

“Did Keating take a pill?” I snort.

“Abram, hush,” says Elise. She grabs Ellie’s hands, eyes pleading. “Please—go out with Abram. I’ll help you reschedule.”

“Reschedule?” I say.

Ellie sighs loudly. “Fine, but I’m taking your car.”

△ △ △

“Why are we playing put-put again?” I say, watching Ellie’s golf ball roll three feet past the hole.

“The real question is why are you, a hockey player, so bad at it?” she says, following the ball.

“Well, for one, I don’t want to be here,” I say.

“That makes two of us,” mumbles Ellie, aggressively striking her plastic club against the ball. It flies over a poorly made dinosaur figure and out of view.

“Then why are we here?” I say. “All I wanted was groceries and beer.”

Ellie sighs. “Little Allaire needed a break.”

“Little Allaire?” I say. “Who is that—”

“—Elise’s vagina, Abram,” snaps Ellie.

Four parents and their small children turn and look at us before urging their kids away, one loudly asking “What is a bagina?”

“What do you mean….she needed a break?” I say, cheeks burning.

“I think she’s being a wuss,” says Ellie, shrugging. “I mean, I wish someone wanted to have sex with me non-stop.”

“We’ve done other things,” I say, folding my arms. “Just the other day we—um—we went to class!”

Ellie laughs. “When is the last time you went a day without sex?” When I hesitate, she shakes her head. “Fine, two days…Three days? God. I didn’t realize you were being that excessive.”

“Hey!” I say, “She wanted it, too! I’m basically her bottom.”

“That’s because you’re screwing her in bathrooms and confessionals! She’s probably at home icing her vagina with a bag of peas!”

We are immediately escorted out and banned for life from Castle Glow Park, and Ellie and I laugh about well after we leave Ralph’s and arrive back at our apartment. Ellie recounts the story to Elise, while I put our groceries away and open up a beer.

I leave them to talk and turn on the bath water, and when it burns my skin, I know it will be a comfortable temperature. I call for Elise, who reluctantly opens the door.

“You want to take a bath?” she says, eyes flickering from me, to the water and back again.

I shake my head as I move toward her. I pull her shirt over her head and kiss her cheek. “I’m running it for you.”

“You don’t want to join me?” she says, relieved.

I smile as I bend down, pulling her leggings off of her hips.

“Oh.”

“No,” I say, looking up at her. I kiss between her thighs and stand back up. “You relax. I’m going to kick Ellie’s ass as Black Ops.”

Elise bites her lip and sighs. “She told you, didn’t she? I’m sorry—I just—it’s bruised.”

I silence her with a kiss on the lips, then on the forehead. “Its fine, baby. I’ll let you initiate when you’re…healed.”

△ △ △

“When is the last time you showered? I still see glitter in your hair.”

I pull my hood over my head, ashamed and fully aware that it has been over a week since I last showered, and even longer since I brushed my teeth.

“That night was a lot of fun,” Brantley goes on. “I didn’t think we’d ever be cool like that.”

I force out a laugh, because I feel like that’s what I’m supposed to do. “Sometimes, you just need to punch someone, I guess.”

“I wanted to say thanks,” he says, glancing over at me. “For not telling anyone about—you know. I’m not out yet, I mean not completely. My little sister and a few of my friends know, but I know how homophobic some of the guys are.”

“I’m from Boston,” I shrug. “Besides, before my best friend got his first girlfriend, everyone, including my mother, thought we were boyfriends.”

The pedestrian sign changes and Brantley and I walk shoulder to shoulder across the street.

“I know you’re like super rich, so is that how you’re getting us into this?” asks Brantley as we approach the Beverly Hills Hotel.

I bite the inside of my cheek and shake my head. “My best friend? He’s their goalie, and their captain will end up being my father-in-law.”

Brantley’s reaction only sours the taste in my mouth, and when we enter the Kings brunch, I double fist mimosas and actively avoid Brody, who is laughing between Tyler Toffoli and Drew Doughty.

“Abram!” says Simon, throwing his arms around me. I know he’s a few drinks in. “I’m glad you made it. Elise said you’d be running a little late because of practice.”

“Fortunately for us, there wasn’t much traffic,” says Brantley.

I introduce Simon to Brantley, and he holds his composure much better than I did the first time I met him.

“You two can sit with me,” says Simon. “That’s where Elise and her friend will be.”

“Her friend?” I say, looking around the room.

“Hunter’s ex-girlfriend,” he replies.

“Where are they—Ellie and Elise?” I say.

Simon turns a complete circle, confusing etching his features. “They must still be in the bathroom. It’s been like half an hour.”

“Excuse me,” I say, brushing between them. I hear Brody call my name but I ignore him and walk straight toward the women’s bathroom, pushing the door open.

“Elise?” I say.

“Abram?”

“Ellie?”

I hear two sets of dry heaves, then sick splattering into water.

“Elise? Ellie?” I say again.

“Oh my God, Abram, shut up,” says Ellie between gags.

One of the toilets flush, and the door opens slowly, revealing Elise, and I rush toward her.

“I’m fine,” she says before I can say anything.

“Simon said—”

“I’m fine,” she says again. “I’m not the only one throwing up.”

I bite back but you’re the only one with an eating disorder and let out a loud sigh.

“You’re drinking?” Elise says, taking a step away from me. She gags, then runs back into the stall, leaving the door open behind her. I watch her fall to her knees, praying to the only God I think she’s ever known.

A second flush and I look to see Ellie leaning against the door like all of the life is drained out of her.

“I wouldn’t get too close,” she says, shaking her head. “I think we have food poisoning.”

“You can’t catch food poisoning,” I say, rolling my eyes. “Plus, we all had the same thing for dinner.”

“Please, don’t say anything else about food,” says Ellie. “Elise is fine. I promise, Abram. I’m going to take her home.”

I open my mouth to object, but the bathroom door opens and a girl with curly blonde hair steps in hesitantly. “Um, am I interrupting something?”

“He was just leaving, Nichole,” says Ellie, waving her in. “Weren’t you, Abram?”

△ △ △

(texts—Brody)

Can you come to tonight’s game? Big cellie after, even if we lose.

(message read)

Hey, we’re at Island’s for dinner. You coming?

(message read)

You wanna come over for Thanksgiving? Natasha’s back in Boston… we can get Korean barbecue and play fortnite.

Sorry, going to Gigi’s.

Ellie is coming too so I figured you wouldn’t want to come.

I’m sure some of the teammates will have you over?

Are you being PA right now?

(message read)

△ △ △

At Gigi’s request, Elise, Ellie and I come to her house a day early to help her prepare, though I don’t think any of us are prepared for the crowd when we arrive.

Jason tackles me at the door, while Sophie nearly knocks Elise over with how fast she runs to hug her. From the ground I watch Ellie roll her eyes and step over us, announcing our arrival and that she brought plenty of wine.

“I can’t believe how much I missed you,” says Jason, finally pulling himself off of me and onto his own two feet. He offers a hand to help me up, but I get up on my own. “You never respond to my Snaps anymore, man.”

“School has him really busy,” says Elise. “We just had mid-terms this week, and in two weeks we have finals.”

“I’m sure hockey has been hell, too,” says Jason, smiling widely. “I can’t wait to tell you about this season—it’s been insane so far.”

I tune him out after he tells me how many points he has, and how the Bruins are guaranteed a second seed playoff spot if they keep up with how they’re playing. Everything else is just grinding salt into my wounds. I nod when I’m supposed to, I even smile and laugh as I pour both of us a glass of wine, willing away the want to crack the bottle over his head, only to get him to shut up.

“There’s my other brother from another mother,” says Sienna, dancing through Gigi’s crowded kitchen. She pulls me into a hug. “Is Jase still bragging?”

Yes.

“I’m not bragging,” says Jason. “If Abram were playing for the Bruins, I’d want to hear every story he’d tell me.”

“In that case,” I say, “the only story you’d hear is me trying to get myself kicked off of the team.”

Sienna snorts. “Please—you men are desperate. You’d join the first team that would take you and you know it.”

I inhale sharply and press my lips into a thin line. I try to reason with myself—surely she didn’t mean anything by it, but it goes over me like nails on a chalk board and I feel my face contorting and burning red.

“Abram.” I hear Ellie before I see her pop up on the other side of the island. “Gigi is asking for you in the kitchen.”

I respond only by turning my wineglass up and draining it in one gulp. Sienna and Jason continue going back and forth after I walk away, and the quiet in the kitchen is more than welcome.

“Do you care to help me?” says Gigi, somehow knowing I’m in the room even though I haven’t spoken.

I set my glass in the sink, wash my hands, and roll up my sleeves. “What do you need?”

She sighs and turns her head. “Your mother used to make a pie, and I’ve tried for the last two years to recreate it and I cannot. It doesn’t taste right.”

“Which pie?” I say, picking up an apron and sliding it over my head.

Gigi ties the back for me. “The pumpkin pie with the Mousse.”

I smile. “Harvest pie?”

“That’s what it’s called,” she says, throwing her head back. “I made one this morning and it isn’t quite right. I thought maybe you could taste it and see if you know where I went wrong.”

Though she looks mortified when I cut a piece out of the center, she doesn’t say anything, but watches me chew with her eyebrows creased tightly together.

“It isn’t bad,” I say, licking the whipped cream from my lips.

“But?”

“You need Nutmeg,” I say. “And less clove.”

“Ah, you brilliant boy,” she says, grabbing me and kissing my cheeks. “Thank you.”

“You want me to help you make it?” I say.

“Send in Elise,” she says. “I think she should learn.”

When I find Elise, she is wedged between Sophie and Ellie, both of which seem to be fighting for her attention, but she only gives it to me. She snorts into her glass of champagne when she takes in the sight of me in a floral apron, and stands onto the tip of her toes to kiss me.

“This might literally be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” she says.

“Mm.” I shake my head and pull the apron off, only to drop it onto her shoulders. “Now this is a sight.”

“Oh, no,” says Elise. “I don’t cook.”

“Yeah, do you want her to burn down your grandmother’s mansion?” says Ellie, red-faced and heavy eyed.

“Funny story, actually,” I say. “Gigi wants you to help her.”

“Abram,” she says again. “I wasn’t joking, I don’t cook.”

“She wants you to help her make a pie my mom used to make,” I say.

[originaldetectivesheep]

A Life of Riley Part 3: The Very Last Place On Earth ch 6

Chapter 5

VI

It was raining again, but it seemed like it mattered less.  It actually mattered less, for what we'd been brought out here for: Simon had finished up his observations when the camera battery ran out overnight, and only got his telescope rained on a little bringing it in in the morning, and now his sky sequences and star charts were with Riley going to the post office on a SD card, and now he was working out a few things in his writeup over on his laptop with Yuping's moral support and a plate of Yuping's chicken curry and mashed taro.  But it wasn't just that that had been bad before, and the rain wasn't making that worse now either.  Sajitha was still in the corner working on her wafer-dosing stuff, but she was using Remy as a sounding board and an arm pillow and not even giving me the stink-eye for noticing, which made everything more comfortable for everyone.  And the curry helped too, and the onion bag of coconuts that Maynard's brother brought over as a thanks for finding him the ramps from the cargo plane that were keeping chilled hanging by the door, and the case of Asahi Pacific Blue that we still had part of sitting under it, left over from celebrating getting the Ceiba down to the beach.

That, actually, was the only part that the rain was maybe making worse: not the beer, but the nuclear reactor that we just left a couple meters inland of the high-water mark sitting on a beat-up, collapsing aluminum sled.  We couldn't get it moved on from there, and getting rained on directly couldn't be good for whatever was inside the housing.  Riley was supposed to be working on that too, up in town, but I couldn't see how we could get it moved off somewhere else, to like the port or wherever – much less find someone who could and would take it back to the United States.  At this point I was just hoping we could get back to the United States sometime, even without the Ceiba – we hadn't heard from Leo even yet after getting back from moving it down, and it was getting to be so long that I was starting to worry like he might have been picked up or something.

I picked up the pack of cards to shuffle through again.  Yeah, nobody was going to take time to play, but I was almost done with my lunch, it was something to do instead of just sitting worrying about Leo, and I was kind of starting to get the hang of how to shuffle through in a damp climate like this.  Something brushed against my leg, and I set the pack down; if the cat was over for pets, that was still something to do, and it'd look a lot less weird and neurotic.  "There you are, Pushkin," I said, petting along his back – the kitty was a loaner from Ernest's niece Maurina, and if she wanted to name her cats after Russian writers, she could do her thing – as he climbed around over my feet.  "What, are you hungry?  There's probably extra curry, but you can't have none till I'm sure Yuping and Simon are done; they're working hard and you already got your food."  Pushkin meowed at me and dropped something by my toes: the front half of a dead cockroach.

"Pushkin – goddamnit – no, no, bad kitty!  You want to eat the bugs, you can eat the bugs, but if you eat the bugs, you got to eat them all up – Maurina's not gonna like it if you come back to her house with bad habits."  The cat picked up the cockroach again, and I nudged him gently away with the outside of my foot.  I was going to have to keep a closer eye on him; people kept cats here to eat bugs and mice and stuff, but that didn't mean it was cool to have one leaving dead roaches in your stuff as presents.  I shuddered, and scooped through the last of my lunch before that went and attracted any more bug attention.

Putting my plate over to the sink, looking the dishes over and wondering if I should start washing and hope Simon would finish eating before I was done, I heard an engine out on the road through the noise of the rain on the roof: the rising hum of a motorcycle engine – of Riley coming back on the Super Cub.  I left my plate where it was and came back to the doorway, to make sure I didn't miss whatever the news was from town.  The others looked up, because I was looking out, as Riley splashed up to the door.

"Hey – it's good news all around, but let me get inside and get this stuff off first."  Riley's sad and worn-out-looking garbage-bag poncho flipped through the air, balling itself up into a corner. "Are you still eating?  I got some musubi at the supermarket, so I'm good – if there's extra you can put it in the fridge or give it to the cat."  Riley bent over and pulled a beer out of the crate, cracking it open with a hiss and a sigh.

"So, just like you guys thought, the SD cards with your observational sequences and some cardboard to keep them flat still fit into the basic rate for a first-class registered letter out of here, so that's done on budget.  I didn't need anything extra."  Riley took a slug of beer as Simon nodded back thanks, and then went on.  "And even better yet, I got transpo scared up for the Ceiba – and it's getting picked up as-is, we won't need to drag it anywhere."

I blinked at that, startled, and Riley noticed, looking over my way. "What?  How?  Who on earth's gonna pick it up?"

Riley nodded, eyes closed.  "Yeah, that's a reasonable question – operationally and logistically.  But, you know, this is a small island, and news travels fast, so when I was in the supermarket getting lunch, the manager came up to me and was like, he'd heard about us dragging some kind of US government equipment out of a plane on the mountains, and if I was all right with the contract, I could get the supermarket's seaplane to come over, pick it up from where it was, and get it back to Majuro or Honolulu and send it on to the States."  Riley could see what my face was doing, and answered my questions before I could ask them.

"Yeah, I hear you: how does the supermarket have a seaplane, what in the shit can land around here and lift the Ceiba, isn't there a catch about getting a Hardtack unit back into the US customs regime – trust me, I asked him all this too.  The supermarket I guess has a Canadian corporate parent, so they have a bigass firefighting seaplane – Canadian maker, you know how Canadians get super clannish about that Made in Canada shit – based out of the Micronesia headquarters in Ponape, rigged out for cargo instead of carrying seawater, and it goes around the central Pacific and solves weirdass problems like someone found an old nuclear weapons test and needs to get it off the beach.

"And…there is something like half, half a degree off about this plane." Riley paused for a moment, taking another sip and like figuring out how the next part of the explanation was going to go.  "I mean, you get a feeling about it, that it's a friggin roving-torpedo seaplane attached to a grocery store and like, shit, right?  I was getting itchy about the contract and what was in it and what wasn't, so I asked the guy to like get me a Facetime with one of the ops on the plane if they weren't like in the air six hundred miles out of Yap, and that did go through, and the dude was chill enough to let me know that yeah, there was shit going on in the background here.  I don't think they've associated us to anything that went on back home, but there's def the US government rolling around in the back here: what they're mostly interested in is confirming that there isn't the atomic jumpstart bolted in Ceiba, and then we can keep the rest of the assembly.  The thing was scratched from DoE inventory sixty years ago and under the salvage laws of the Marshall Islands, which they can't screw with under the free-association compact, we own it free and clear.

"So, basically, we let these dudes pick it up and confirm there isn't a nuclear warhead glued in the initiator, and they'll haul it back to where it can get on a US-flag ship with minimal inspection and trans-ship it back to the lab.  We're getting a deal on cartage, but it's still going to blow a huge hole in the lab budget for the rest of the year.  We're gonna have to get real creative to keep the lights on and keep on working, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."  Riley leaned back and took another long drink while we all processed that.

"And even more importantly, there is even more good news: while I was in the post office again paying for the internet credits to Facetime with the airplane dudes, Isaac noticed that I was there and brought out this – fresh off the last plane and probably not more than three days off Leo's desk."  Riley brandished out a slightly flappy airmail envelope, its red-white-and-blue trim bent and fading from the humidity.  "That we got mail is good news already, since it means Leo is not in Leavenworth or Guantanamo or something; the contents is better.  I quote:

"'Hey yo Riley; hope you are doing well, and that you have not killed everyone or permanently damaged your island's power grid.'" Riley looked up.  "That's a joke; Leo's screwing around.  I'm gonna read the whole thing, and you can check after, so you can be sure I'm not leaving anything out.  Anyway.  'Things are doing good here too: nothing at the apartment was on fire the last time I went past the place, and nobody has opened the lab doors since I locked up after you all cleared out.  Note, you probably want to remote-discharge before you even open the door, I had a look at some of the interconnects and I don't trust the metal parts of the door not to be on the circuit.'"  Riley's eyebrows knotted.  "Well, screw him; knock Carolína's wiring to her face, bro, not from thousands of miles away.  We'll see about that when we get back."  I kept shut up; pretty much everyone in this room had worked on tuning the door security at some point, and I wouldn't be surprised if the doors were accidentally carrying enough electricity to burn holes in anyone who grabbed the knob.

"Moving on; 'More positively, I am nearly completely sure that all the feds who were nosing around here the last week and a half are gone.  These totally sketch MiB dudes were coming into Bismarck'ın Evi for a week straight, and now they are not: this would be the first time in recorded history that someone who got addicted to the durum doner from that place was able to kick the habit on their own, so the more likely case is that they are no longer posted somewhere that they can get to it within their lunch break.  You can hurf at that if you like, but just remember that I'm working there now to prop up my own durum addiction, and crap jeez now I really want a doner bad.'  They've gotta be doing something to the sauce in that place.  I don't know how that's even legal."  Riley blinked, cutting the commentary, and went on with Leo's letter.

"'As far as I can tell, you're all clear, and you can come home whenever you're done with Simon's thing.  Please all be safe, and please don't bring trouble home with you and yes I am aware that is a huge jinx but damnit.  Peace, Leo.'"  Riley folded the letter again, and tossed it over onto the table.  "So, that's that; Simon, are we done, or is there anything else you need us to take care of?"

Simon shook his head.  "No; that's why we sent the pics and docs out today.  I'll probably still run the camera on as many clear nights as we can get, but I'm ready to pull out whenever."

Riley nodded.  "All right; what I thought.  I want to stick for these seaplane guys to come pick up the Ceiba, and we weren't able to get onto the next plane east anyway.  I got tickets for the one after, so that's most of a week till we fly out.  Until then, we just hang out, I guess; hope for clear nights for your astronomy and clear days to go to the beach.  Or, if you're really looking for something to do…" Riley trailed off without finishing the sentence.

I cocked an eyebrow.  "Or what?  Is there something else that you're need us to go dig up?  You get the Ceiba out on the seaplane, and then we go find the Davy Crockett for it and take that back as a carry-on on our lap?"

Riley sighed and stared a hole straight up at the ceiling.  "No – not that, and it's not me.  But Isaac's brother's kids got into the comprehensive when he didn't think they would, so they're boarding out at Majuro for school now, and he's short on help, so, if you're really desperate for something to do when it's raining out, or if you wanna make a little extra beer money, like…who wants to get naked and dig taro?"

back to the top for the next arc

[theunknownbikerme]

Getting the knickers in a knot.

I went to Clonmel yesterday evening and treated myself to a new game for my Xbox. My friends are thrilled, because they all know that I’ll get bored of it in a week or two and they’ll get to play Assassins Creed Origins for free. I can almost see them rubbing their hands with glee when the word breaks that I’ve bought a new game.

While I waited for the thing to install and download the seemingly never ending amount of updates, I had a quick look through my social media feed. I was in fits of laughing with the rubbish I read. Sometimes, it becomes a bit farcical, some of the stuff we come up with.

As you know, this Friday is known as “Black Friday". This is the latest nonsense that we have imported from across the Atlantic. Online stores and retailers are getting their knickers in a knot as to how much money they will make from us.

(Just a thought, but what if we didn’t buy anything online this Friday. Instead, what if we took a trip to our local shops and spent the money there instead. That’s what I’m doing and I’ll even be spoken to in those shops by name, not a reference number. It’s so much better and the few bob spent local, stays local)

Anyway, back to my original point. A publican in Thurles is running a big Black Friday event, selling cheap alcohol for the day. Immediately, the snowflakes are up in arms. They would hate to be left out, so they’re getting their knickers in a knot about it. Some of the headlines, spearheaded by our national press are laughable. This guy should be ashamed of himself, its disgraceful behaviour, he should show a social responsibility, down with this sort of thing and so on, you get the drift.

Some pub in Dublin reported huge profits over the weekend too. Apparently that’s bad as well. I’ve never been in the pub in question, so I can’t comment on it. But, the snowflakes are upset about it, for some reason or other.

I smoked for well over 20 years, even being a chain smoker for some of that time. On the night our child came home, I smoked my last cigarette.  I decided that I’d like to be around to see him grow up and I made the decision all by myself. Not a snowflake in sight, as I threw the rest of the cigarettes into the bin. I started to take a bit of exercise and to protect my health. I’ve gone the other way now however, as I despise cigarettes with a passion. I detest the things and I find the smell of smoke disgusting. As for my physical fitness, it has become a passion and I take it seriously, very seriously in fact.

Another day I went to my doctor for a check-up and she asked me how much I drank. In typical Irish fashion, I answered “ah sure, the usual”. Now there’s one thing that you cannot do and that’s tell a lie to a doctor. They are professional people and they can see a lie about 10 miles away. She took my bloods and a few days later, she called me back in. Your body definitely doesn’t lie and my doctor had all the proof she needed in front of her. Cut it down was the advice, so I cut it out. Another ground breaking decision that I made myself. That was over two years ago now. I wonder if  I qualify for an award of some kind for all these decisions.

We have this image around the world about being the party people and loving life. We also have the marketing gurus working on other images, from sports advertising, to clothing lines. The snowflakes hate that too, as it's a bad image to be portraying internationally.  I draw the line at those nauseating cringe worthy photo ops with foreign dignitaries, when a pint of beer is placed into their hand. Personally, I hate that bit, as I prefer to think of Ireland maturing as a nation of young entrepreneurs, bringing a new vision, hope and future to the country and leaving the ould nonsense behind.

However, just because I don’t agree with it, does that mean it’s wrong? No, it does not. People have every right to make up their own mind on things, without any interference from me or anybody else for that matter.

For many years, Ireland was controlled by the Catholic Church, uncomfortably so. Now, I’m not over religious either, so I can live happily without those shackles being placed on us anymore. That kind of power can corrupt and there is over whelming proof that this power did indeed get way too strong and it’s no harm to see the back of it. There are still people who would rather those days, but in my opinion, they can have them, as they play no positive role in any progressive society.

I’ve spoken before about my passion and belief in freedom of speech, thought and action and it’s something that I believe in. It needs to be protected and nurtured, at whatever cost. Many people, much better than me, gave their lives and fought for that freedom. Many column inches are given over to the threats we face from fundamentalism and its kind, but I often wonder if there is a threat from within, thankfully not of the fundamentalist type, but a threat all the same.

Are we in danger of becoming a nanny state? Where is that freedom to do your own thing gone? To the best of my knowledge, nobody is forced to go into a pub and avail of cheap alcohol. If people wish to do that, it’s their own business and more power to them. If they wish to get shit faced at the weekend, that’s their own business, it’s nothing to me. If you want to smoke, you know the associated risks, go ahead, it’s your own business. If you want to take up a dangerous pastime like swimming with sharks or something even more dangerous like cycling on Irish roads, go ahead, you’re right and it is your right. You have different sexual interests, so what, that’s your own business, as my dad used to say “the gun is your own”. It’s about time that people stood up and started taking responsibility for their own lives and what they do with them.

There is nothing wrong with asking for advice and either heeding that advice or ignoring it. However, there are people out there, making a nice living telling the rest of us how to live our lives. Not a day goes by without some z-list celebrity telling us how they plan on changing the world.

So I say, let them get their knickers in a knot, live your life and just because certain people don't agree with it, doesn't mean it's wrong. Remember, we’re only here for a good time, not a long time and if you upset a few people in the meantime, maybe that's a good thing.