#sometimes villian kid ben is something that can just be so personal

[glitter-stained]

Sense the current state of jason as character is stagnant do you think dc will ever purplish a good story of him, maybe he even kills of his red hood persona and goes on to be something else that would be something I would like to see but I don’t think it will happen. Dc will forever shoehorn him in to the batfamily. At least in his anti-villian era he was actually fun now his character is in a pitiful state

do u think theirs a chance of reinvent him as character anytime soon ?

Well first of all through spite everything is possible, so jot that down.

Like seriously, remember when it was so so incredibly over like Spiderman's Uncle Ben levels of over and then Under the Hood happened? Hell yeah I think dc will publish a good Jason story

Second I may not be the best person for this ask because I like my blorbos pitiful and miserable. Like yeah defiance is awesome but exhaustion -in characters who have been angry and alone for so long, beaten dog who got electrocuted too often to bite back- has a special place in my heart. But I also agree this has to be a transitional part of a story, the arc can't be "well he was hurt and then he was angry and then he was tired and he was miserable the whole time". Unless of course he ends up perma-dying in a really meaningful arc centered around his character but I'm not sure that'd be what I want for him, and we all know how lame dc is with permadeath nowadays. I'm also very mitigated with his villain side because yeah sometimes it's very fun and cathartic to see the angry/bad victim trope, but also the classismXpsychophobia of villain Red Hood sometimes are just too much; and also I'm a jaybin fan and sometimes I feel betrayed on jaybin's behalf by elements of his villainous characterization. (One day I'll write that damned UTH rewrite, I will).

With that being said!!! I love Jason because of his potential, he has so so much of it, that's what's exhausting about his many bad comics is that yeah. Yeah, dc can absolutely publish something more than good. They don't understand the goldmine they're sitting on in terms of potential.

What I'd love to see explored in hypothetical upcoming good comics (i'll talk more about it later with malfiora but for now)/how dc could go about reinventing his character :

1) addressing Jason's suicidality and getting him a functional support system (seriously, something's gotta give)

2) Get that boy a dog. Ik he had one at some point in N52 idc give him more dogs. Big ass rescue dog that's loyal and similar to him.

2) we need to figure out a way to let Jason keep being a Crime Alley/Park Row vigilant without being dependent on Batman. Like yeah he should explore the world away from him and heal but also i'm very uncomfortable with the idea that healing, for Jason, has to mean leaving the city and neighbourhood he grew up in and protected, has to mean be shoved out of his home by a guy who doesn't live there and, at least when Jason was a kid, only visited the place one time a year because of the anniversary of his parents' death- it's not fair and I won't accept it.

3) I so so agree about the "killing the red hood persona" or at the very least changing his vigilant name. Like I get the point, I understand the use he had for him, but his story can't be centered around the Joker forever (I keep thinking about the Joker's attitude to him in The Man who stopped Laughing and god, I can see a driving force to find himself as something else than what Batman and the Joker made him). At some point his name has to become something that is his and turned towards the future.

4) art + story that acknowledges how young he is (someone please let Jason take college class please please he deserves it)

5) perhaps most importantly: batman writers often sound like hardcore deontology or hardcore utilitarianism (and the occasional egoism) are the only acceptable moral philosophies. And for characters, it works! Like I can see Batman as a Kantian, sure. But for others, it doesn't fit as well.*

The cool thing about Jason's character right now is that he's a utilitarian, but a utilitarian that often isn't guided by his values. He can and will compromise on his philosophy in the name of love and being loved ( @bestangelofall called that a morality leash) and that already sets him as an interesting character in his own right. But in terms of redefining himself as a person after decades of defining himself through his pain (which, at 20-23 years old, he should get to do) I'd love to see an evolution of his morals based on love. Specifically, I'd love from his morals to shift from mathematical utilitarianism to agape, an ancient greek concept of platonic love for everything human, a movement towards the other that can be thought of as close to some conceptualisations of empathy. Mind you, that doesn't mean that he would stop killing! I can believe in a Jason who kills because or against of agape, the pain or relief that could be so good to explore in relation to that, how he would go on to define himself as a person... I feel like Jason has a certain tendency to kinda dehumanize the worst criminals as he kills them (a lesson from Judy, love her sm) which I love, but would also love to see him grow out of - learn to see and love everyone as human and what it means, a re-exploration of his empathy.

Imagine: a scene where he kills a guy because a kid victim begged him to. The focus on the image is on the kid's big wide tearstruck eyes, and then Jason's uncertain face, the kid begging him to kill the bad guy. And then Jason kills him and they're standing so close to eachother, and he's look him in the eyes and seeing the image of the kid's eyes, and then turning back to the kid while wiping the blood on his face and seeing the kid's wide eyes looking in disbelieving awe. And then kneeling and hugging the kid as he cries his heart out. And Jason's inner monologue during all that being something like "I could say that I killed him because I'm a bad guy; I probably am. Or argue the world is better off without scum like him; I could pretend I did it so he wouldn't hurt [x] again, or that I was thinking about all the other children he wouldn't be able to hurt anymore. But the truth is, I didn't. I killed him because [x] asked me to; because I could tell that he needed it. I can live with that."

Idk, that's the direction I would love to see it going, but simply "becoming even more open, louder and unapologetic about prioritising his love over his values, and being angry when it causes him dilemma" is something I'd love with as way. Very "Odysseus knows what he's going to choose the moment the gods tell him to throw the baby off the wall to see Penelope and Telemachus, but fuck if he's angry at the gods for making him make that choice" kind of vibe if you like Epic the musical.

*i'm not saying there aren't any characters in dc that fall out of this deontological/utilitarian false dilemma, it's just a vibe I get from batman writers at times, and as a consequence of specializing in one character I don't feel legitimate in exploring the intricacies of other characters because I feel like I'm lacking information and would be making uneducated guesses (that being said, I would fuck heavily with an exploration of Cass' morals VS Levinas' concept of ethics). If anybody has recommendations of dc characters that are neither utilitarian nor deontological (or are at least an interesting twist to it) I would love them so much please don't hesitate!!!

So yeah, idk if that answers your question, I don't pretend to know the intricate working of dc editorial. But imo there are wonderful possibilities for dc to reinvent Jason and write him into good comics -call me a blue lantern cause baby I got hope.

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

Look... I don’t need to write an It Descendants AU. I don’t. I already have like three active fics, and honestly I’m pretty sure there already is one I just haven’t read it. The world’s It Descendants AU quota has been filled. It’s a children’s movie. I don’t need to do this. No one wants this.

And yet-

[official-wayward-keener]

Standin' in Front of You Sayin' I'm Sorry for that Night

@spideytorchweek 2021 Day 7: free day

The Spider is causing Johnny more problems, but after he kills an innocent, Johnny must find him even if it cost him his life. Peter did something he regrets and now he is getting pulled away from the man he loves.

Ao3 Link here

The Spider was getting on Johnny’s nerves as they fought. He just wanted to go home and sleep in his boyfriend’s arms but no he had to fight this villain known as the Spider. The spider kept choosing to annoy him and wrapping him up with his webbing before he slipped out and Johnny couldn’t do anything but hope that he could get home to get a hot shower before Peter got home.

~

No one knew that Johnny Storm was the Human Torch. It may have made things awkward for him because his boyfriend who he loved so much was the Spider. The same villain who he was fighting but he didn’t know that. Peter Parker, the boy that loved Johnny with all of his heart, was the villain who stole from the rich to give to the poor. Johnny probably would never know if Peter kept it hidden not wanting Johnny to get in trouble for his crimes. When they both were home, they cuddled not knowing that hours before the two of them had been fighting.

“Do you think that we will be together forever?” Peter asked.

“I think that we will be together forever,” Johnny said. “I can’t think of anything that would ever separate us.”

“I can think of a few things that could break us apart,” Peter said concerned.

“I would never leave you,” Johnny said.

“And I would never leave you,” Peter told him. Johnny smiled at him cuddling up to him not knowing that their days were numbered as a hero and a villain could not love each other for long.

~

It had been an accident. Peter had killed the man instead of just stealing from him. He had not meant to kill him but now the man was dead and the Fantastic Four were after him. He decided to lay low and spend more time with Johnny but Johnny was not around. He was gone more for work related events.

“I wish you could be home more,” Peter told him.

“Something major came up at work,” Johnny said.

“Maybe I can visit you at the shop sometime and we can have lunch,” Peter suggested.

“May you be when I am not busy,” Johnny said, figuring that Peter would be busy again with work in no time. He had a few slow weeks apparently and Johnny loved coming home to his boyfriend after a long day of hunting for the murderous spider. Maybe he would catch the spider before Peter was back to his normal schedule.

~

The news was on when Johnny came home as Peter watched the reporter talking about the Spider and how he killed Flash Thompson.

“Sad to hear,” Johnny said.

“Flash wasn’t a good guy.” was all Peter told him. Johnny didn’t care about that but Peter was acting nonchalant about what the villain did. Part of him wondered why Peter was even watching the news.

“I think that the Spider is guilty for what he did,” Betty Brant said. “We haven’t heard from him since and the Spider was a well known villain who never harmed people. I know Flash had a way of targeting people when we were in high school so maybe he tried to fight Spider and Spider forgot his own strength. Wouldn’t be the first time the Spider forgot his own strength as others have been injured including Invisible Woman and Iron Man.”

“All speculation on some stupid villian who probably just went to Canada or something to avoid punishment,” Peter said rolling his eyes and shutting off the TV.

“He was a well known villain who killed someone,” Johnny explained.

“And he will have to live with that guilt for the rest of his life. I hope he burns for his crime,” Peter said feeling the guilt come back and taking him over. Peter went to their room leaving Johnny to wonder what happened to make Peter so angry with the Spider.

~

Peter couldn’t take it any longer. He needed to get out and help those on the street again. He knew that the people at F.E.A.S.T missed the help that Spider dropped off so he went out. The only issue was that the Human Torch found him. The hero growled at him as he pushed him into the wall holding him there.

“You think you can control the world,” Johnny told him, annoyed at the man.

“I think I can help out the little people who don’t have much cause of big shots like yourself,” Peter said, pushing the man away. They fought for a bit neither winning the battle both full of hate for the other. Peter was mad that a hero could do nothing but stand by while Johnny was mad at how a villain could kill an innocent. It wasn’t until Peter had knocked Johnny down and started punching him that Johnny thought he saw the end. He finally faded into nothingness as Peter pulled off the mask and saw Johnny beaten under it. He looked at his hands offended by what he did.

“I killed him,” Peter said, feeling a tear falling as he tore off his mask and held Johnny until the police dragged him away from his love. Peter knew he would be facing punishment.

~

Peter sat in the cell as Sue Storm came in looking upset. He didn’t want to talk to her but he knew he was going to be hearing whatever she said even if he didn’t talk.

“They are talking about putting you away for life,” Sue told him. “What you did, it hurt my family and I don’t understand how anyone could forgive you for your crimes?” Peter knew she was right. “Except Stark who found out that you accidentally killed Eugene Thompson and has been bargaining for a plea deal for you.”

“I should burn for my crimes,” Peter said. Sue was surprised by what he said.

“Peter, you are being given a fresh start. I suggest you use it to be a better man than who you were before. You did a lot to my family and you… what you did to Johnny is unacceptable. I hope that I never see you again Peter Parker, because you don’t deserve this redemption in my mind,” Sue told him. Peter agreed with her and when Tony Stark and Steve Rogers later showed up Peter told them as much.

“It’s a second chance. Those don’t come often,” Steve told him.

“I don’t want a second chance if he isn’t in my life,” Peter said.

“Maybe he will be one day,” Tony said.

“Not if he is gone,” Peter said. Tony and Steve looked at him feeling bad.

“Don’t you want to be the person that he would have wanted you to be?” Steve asked. The truth was Peter wanted to be that person. He wanted to make Johnny proud even if Johnny wasn’t there anymore to see him. He thanked them as he took their deal knowing he was doing it all for Johnny Storm.

~

Johnny woke in pain as he looked around the room to find Ben sitting next to him watching TV. Peter would normally be next to him if something bad happened. Peter should have been here. He went to move but it all hurt.

“Don’t move. You have a few broken bones and a few cracked ribs. Spider throws a mean punch,” Ben said.

“Peter?” Johnny asked.

“Left town and isn’t coming back,” Ben said. Johnny froze. Peter wouldn’t have left town. Not without a reason. “The kid decided he wanted to get back with some girl, Mary Jane I think, and left you while you were in the hospital bed passed out. Sue is pissed at him and I think I heard Reed talk about how he was planning his death.”

“Peter wouldn’t have left without telling me,” Johnny said but Ben’s response didn’t change nor did his sisters or brother-in-laws as they told him the same story. Spider was being released into the custody of the Avengers according to Sue who told Johnny he took a plea deal.

“The little shit beat you up and the avengers took him in as one of their own,” Ben grumbled.

“Changing the branding and not telling the public either,” Johnny said as he saw Spider-Man on the cover of a magazine. The hero who was once the villain Spider. Johnny wanted to give him a piece of his mind but Sue suggested against it.

“I talked with him and I’m shocked he took the deal. He was acting as if it was the wrong punishment for him,” Sue said. “I don’t know if he feels sorry or if he regrets what he did but he will be living with it for the rest of his life now.” Johnny didn’t feel bad for it but he knew he needed to heal. Spider would get what he deserved and Johnny hoped he could give him a word.

~

“I know the drill,” Peter said in the comm for the millionth time. Part of his rehabilitation was patrolling and helping out people which Peter enjoyed. He just was constantly reminded that he was being tracked. Peter sat on the roof. He had thrown himself into being a hero but part of him wished he could apologize to Sue for taking her brother or find Johnny’s last resting place. Sue made it clear what had happened. Peter knew what he did. He would live with that forever.

“Didn’t know they let you out unsupervised,” a familiar voice said. Peter turned looking at the human torch. Now he was being haunted again by the boy who stole his heart and buried it six feet under.

“Not in the mood,” Peter said.

“Don’t say you aren’t in the mood,” Johnny said.

“I rather not be haunted by my past today so leave,” Peter muttered knowing it wouldn’t work. It never did.

“You want me to leave?” Johnny said. “Golden comes from the guy who attempted to kill me.”

“Killed you,” Peter corrected the fake Johnny. That caused the human torch to stop. “Don’t you think I have enough regret Johnny without seeing you every waking moment knowing I killed you. That I could have stopped. I lost control and it's my fault. I took the deal because I knew you wanted me to be a better person but some days I wonder if maybe I should have just stayed in the cell and rotted away like the criminal scum I was.” Johnny didn’t say anything as Peter swung away from him leaving him to wonder what Spider meant.

~

“Spider thinks I’m dead,” Johnny told Ben. Ben was surprised. Ben, unlike Reed and Sue, did not know who Spider was, only that he was now Spider-Man. He didn’t know the whole story.

“The kid thinks he killed you?” Ben said.

“Knew my identity too,” Johnny said.

“Sue said he found out who you were but she never said anything else,” Ben said. Johnny was annoyed. He just wanted to call Peter and rant to him about his day but Peter was gone. He couldn’t find him. He was half-tempted to ask May but he figured it was best not to get her involved.

“I’m going for a walk,” Johnny finally decided to leave Ben and throw on his jacket heading to May’s. May was home when he got there as he knocked on the door. She smiled and let him in.

“Have you heard from Peter?” He asked. May shook her head.

“He disappeared a while ago right when you got into the hospital. No one knows what happened. I heard you got mugged on the street and Peter found you,” May said.

“You haven’t heard from him either?” Johnny said.

“The occasional letter with no return address. He doesn’t normally stop by. Haven’t seen him in a long while. He is somewhere in New York though. He mentioned going to one of his favorite spots last week to think.

“Ben told me he was at the hospital with me,” Johnny said.

“From Peter’s letter, I assumed you were dead. He doesn’t talk about you much that he just regrets not being the boyfriend you deserved,” May told him. Johnny felt bad. Peter was blaming himself for Johnny getting injured. He also wondered why Sue and Reed told him one story about Peter which was false and where was Peter really in New York. Johnny decided to try and hunt him down if it was the last thing he did. Peter would face him over what he did and would explain why he really left.

~

The gazebo was normally empty at night. Peter had asked to go to the park and he knew he was being watched. He didn’t know who was watching him tonight as he sat looking at the water.

“Nice night we are having,” Johnny said. Peter wanted to scream at his inner demons.

“Not really. I gotta get up to fly out tomorrow,” Peter said.

“I’m not mad at you for not being able to protect me,” Johnny told him.

“What are you even talking about?” Peter asked, frustrated with his inner demons. “You think this is easy. Moving on is easy for me. It’s not easy. I can’t move on and here you keep popping up at random places and haunting me as if I weren’t the one to cause you pain.”

“You did nothing wrong, Peter,” Johnny said.

“Bullshit. You are dead, stop haunting me,” Peter said, starting to walk but Johnny followed.

“Peter, I’m not dead,” Johnny told him. Peter stopped almost frozen. “I survived what happened to me and I came back to my boyfriend gone and my family lying to me and suddenly the guy who did this to me is out trying to become a better person, but the worst of it was when I woke up and my boyfriend wasn’t by my side.” Peter turned and grabbed Johnny’s hand feeling for a pulse and took a deep breath before dropping it.

“Sue will kill me if she knew we saw each other,” Peter said.

“Sue has no right to decide who I see and who I don’t see,” Johnny said.

“I got to go. You should leave before whoever is watching me calls your sister up,” Peter let him know before he ran off leaving Johnny wondering why Peter was being followed and by who.

~

Johnny got home with more questions than answers. He found Sue on the couch annoyed.

“You couldn’t leave well enough alone,” Sue told him.

“What do you mean?” Johnny asked.

“You saw him today,” Sue said, spitting venom when she said him as if Peter’s name shouldn’t be spoken in their house.

“He thought I was dead,” Johnny said. “You let him believe that. You pushed him away from me.” Sue was frustrated then.

“I didn’t push him away from you, I was protecting you from the man who hurt you. From the man who beat you to a pulp within an inch of your life. You want to know the truth. Your boyfriend was Spider and when he was found having hurt his boyfriend, I decided it was time to intervene and keep you away from the man who hurt you, because I care about you,” Sue was mad and Johnny couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Everything made sense now including Peter’s behaviors before the incident when he had more time on his hands.

“Peter is Spider?” Johnny said. ‘He will have to live with that guilt for the rest of his life. I hope he burns for his crime,’ Peter’s voice repeated in his mind. Johnny didn’t know why he never noticed it until that moment that Peter was guilty for his crime. He knew what he did was wrong and he felt bad. He felt bad for hurting Johnny.

“He is,” Sue told him. Johnny paused and walked out as Sue called for him. He turned to her and looked her straight in the eyes.

“I’m going to the Avenger’s Mansion. Don’t try and stop me because you will only upset me more,” Johnny said before turning back around and leaving.

~

Steve and Tony said it was a bad idea but Johnny didn’t care because he needed to talk to Peter. He needed to make sure Peter was okay. His boyfriend had been suffering for too long and now they needed to talk about everything. Peter was in his room which was messy like the room they had shared before Peter had disappeared and Sue moved Johnny back home.

“Peter,” Johnny said. Peter froze but turned not wanting to hear Johnny tell him that he was ashamed of him. This was the real Johnny. He could hear his heartbeat and he knew it was the same Johnny he onced lover and that probably hated him now. “Look I’m not mad. Sue finally told me everything and I know the truth now. I know how hard it's been for you. You had to live with this and pretend you were okay after you accidentally killed someone because you didn’t kill him on purpose. You never would have.”

“He was venom,” Peter said. Johnny froze. He knew about venom. For Peter to tell him this side of the story he knew that Peter really didn’t mean to hurt him. “He knew my identity but he promised not to tell. I thought I saw venom that night. I was a bit tipsy and because of that I accidentally killed Flash thinking he was venom. Then the other night I was so mad and you were there except I didn’t know and I punched too hard and I thought I killed you. I felt as if the world was getting me back for harming an innocent. Except it wasn’t because you were fine at the end and you came home. Well you came to a house. I ruined us just like I predicted.” Johnny sat next to Peter.

“You didn’t ruin us. I don’t trust you but I still love you. I don’t think I could ever stop loving you. I just don’t want you to blame yourself anymore because I am here for you if you need me. As a friend for now.” Peter nodded but didn’t say anything as they sat on his bed wondering if they would ever be able to trust each other again. Maybe they will with time or maybe they would never be together again. Whatever happened would happen though as they sat there in silence of the ruins of their relationship.

[serendipitous-posts]

There’s this sheet of ice right? Hundreds and hundreds of meters thick, strong and sturdy and stretching for miles. And then one day, humans appeared on the ice, building cities and roads. They conquered and explored and evolved, creating new things, new ideas, always, always searching, until one day, they nodded, satisfied, because they had finally explored every square inch of their world. 

“weren’t you scared?” The children ask them, eyes wide “of demons?” and the adults will tell them, bright and brave and bold that they scanned and double and triple checked, and that there were no demons or monsters, there never had been “they’re just stories” they soothe their young ones, before ushering them off to bed

They all share stories and laugh at how naive they had been back then, believing in things like monsters and demons and devils when the only thing they had to fear on their travels were wild animals, mother nature and their fellow man

The ice is thick, so thick you can’t see to the other side, can’t see the water underneath. Can’t see the creatures that swim beneath it. Nobody knows how deep it is. It doesn’t even occur to anybody that there may be something beneath the ice, waiting

Ben tells this story sometimes, when his siblings or a reporter ask him about the Horror. Above the ice he explains, is their world, earth and everything in it, and below the ice is it’s world.

They never really get it, but he never really expects them to

Here’s the thing you have to understand about the Horror: it’s not just tentacles that come out of Ben’s stomach, it had it’s own body and it is huge. If it were to try and force it’s way out of Ben’s stomach, he would be ripped in half

(in another universe, a funeral is held)

In this universe, Ben is brought up to believe that the Horror is bad, is evil is wrong but it wasn’t always this way

When he was a kid, the Horror was his Belly Friend- someone who would tickle him and he would stroke it and feed it scraps. It was kind of like having your own personal best friend inside of you

His father, sensing his son was having Positive Thoughts, decided to devote the rest of his life to Stopping That

Ben & the Horror are symbiotic- they’re supposed to work together and care for each other. But that’s not what happened

The two are connected to each other, always and forever. They can feel eachothers emotions and even, when they were younger, thoughts

The Horror cannot speak, at least not human, but that’s okay because Ben understood him anyways.

(little number six grows up learning languages no human should speak, words that could rupture organs and tear through flesh)

(it makes his father nervous so he puts a stop to it)

They can only communicate to eachother when they want to, and overtime, Ben starts tuning it out, shutting it out

Luther wants to impress his father, Allison wants to be famous, Diego wants to be free, Klaus wants his powers gone, Five wants to know, Vanya wants acknowledgement outside of her powers

Ben? Ben just wants to be good

He reads books on heroes and villians and takes their ideas and black and white thinking and places it in his world-the real world

He tries to do what the pure, idealistic heroes do- he makes himself available to every member of the household, he puts them first, always. He never, ever ever tries to get angry

Someone suggests that whenever he gets mad, it’s not him it’s the Horror, and he leaps at that idea, because he can’t be angry, Good People are supposed to forgive, to let go

(Klaus and Five and Vanya always look sad when he says that. Well, Five looks constipated but close enough)

Whenever he feels hurt or angry or too agitated he just locks those emotions away and shoves them at the Horror to deal with

And as he’s shut out more and more by his family, he tries to compartmentalise all his hurt feelings, by repressing them, by blaming the Horror

Remember when Klaus resurected Ben and he was able to summon the Horror? Yeah there’s a reason for that. It isn’t part of Ben’s body. It’s part of Ben’s soul. It is Ben. They’re two halves of one whole

And here’s what dear ol’ dad never quite figures out; The Horror gets more unstable the more unstable Ben is yes, but the two are supposed to be one. It’s not just Ben’s feelings towards everyone else that makes it so shaky, it’s Ben’s feelings towards it. Because, like it or not, the Horror is a part of Ben. They are two creatures sharing one body. One soul. They are supposed to be co-existing peacefully, but Ben’s self-hatred is messing things up

So, yeah, Five comes back with a warning about the apocalypse. Ben, worried for the whole fate of humanity thing, forgets to take his pills (i haven’t decided if Harolds in it, but i am planning to make ben a famous author working under a penname so maybe they could meet through that? i dunno)

Five is worried about Ben. His last memories of his family, the first three had been distant, yes, but not like this. And Klaus and Vanya were acting like it as well.

(Luther may or may not think Ben killed dad in this)

But that worry pales in comparison to Ben himself. He doesn’t. . . seem right. He’s too blank, too expressionless too calm about certain things

(his ben had been shy and anxious and snarky and sarcastic . . what happened?)

Hell, maybe Ben didn’t actually forget to take his medication? Maybe Five figured out his dad was dulling his baby brothers emotions and took the bottle away, not knowing it was stopping his powers

You bet your ass that Klaus was pissed when he found out about the pills though, and that Ben kept it from him

That’s actually a big thing here- the others find out Ben had been taking pills to supress powers for years and kept it from them. Klaus and Allison are pissed, because they would have wanted them at some point 

And even though they don’t really know it, they have been conditioned to blame Ben for their troubles for their problems. Allison probably thinks that if she had the medication she never would have rumoured Claire, and the divorce never would have happened. Klaus is obvious. The others are all hurt that he has lied to them for years now

The problem with having everyone you know dehumanising someone, is that you start to believe that that person isn’t actually a human being. It happens in families that don’t have kids with actual eldritch abominations living in their stomach, you can bet it happens here

Sometimes, they all lie awake and remember that none of them are natural, and when you know that is it such a weird thought to have that maybe one of your brothers is maybe less natural than the others

(after a while, even ben starts to believe it)

Five tries to break it up because jesus what is wrong with you people

And Ben has been off his medication for his while at this point- not too long, a handful of hours but the Horror has been caged for years now, and it wakes up and it roars

Ben has to leave the house before he does something rash and Five reads his siblings the riot act before heading out on his own once more to try and fix the mess that is the future, leaving Ben alone again

But the anger is growing now, bouncing between the two halves, like a feedback loop, growing stronger each time. Ben breaks down in tears as the Horror howls under his skin, because the man that did this to them is dead, and they can never get revenge for all the shit he put them through

Except  . . he’s not the only one who hurt him. He thinks of his siblings, shutting him out and mocking him and hating him. Revenge? The Horror thinks, the first time since they were six in age and not just name that he has been able to hear their voice

Ben should say no, should explain that they are supposed to be good and that he loves them except . . 

He is so, so tired of trying to be good. So tired of this runaround, of trying to please his siblings, of being pushed around for no reason other than their dad told them to

He can taste his own rage, finally after all these years, bottled up from years of abuse and neglect, exploding outwards in a violent explosion

Ben and Horror are two halves, but they’ve never really come together, been whole before. But now  . . 

The two become one. They are not Ben. They are not Horror. 

They are hungry and sad and hurt and scared and angry

So very, very angry

There we go! I always liked the idea of Ben and the Horror, in a desperate act, fusing and becoming one creature. I have no idea what Horror!Ben would look like btw. He wouldn’t look human at least- I like to imagine the Horror is roughly the size of a skyscraper and looks like a cross between a squid and snake and cthulhu. They’re still the same size as Ben, obviously, but they look sort of demonic. Probably have scales and stuff

[tgrlmls]

I seriously don’t understand “fans” who claim to be the fans of original trilogy. Luke’s greatest achievement in those movies was turning his father to the light with his compassion and forgiveness. That was the main theme. Prequels solidified it. I mean, I hate Jar Jar Binks as much as the next person or pod races or incredibly bad line deliveries in the prequels, but Anakin’s story was pretty solid and emotional. It came full circle and this new trilogy is following that path (at least sometimes) Ben Solo or Kylo Ren was never the villian of this story. He is Han and Leia’s son, how can we hate him? He was portrayed as conflicted from the beginning. And although I loved the idea of a leading lady female jedi, Rey is still too powerful, too good, too perfect. She has a story arc but she doesn’t have a character arc. Why does people hate that Luke closed himself off from the force? He thinks his nephew turned to darkside because of him! He thinks he failed him, he failed Leia. Family was everything to Luke at the end of Return of the Jedi. Yes maybe people wanted to see badass Luke but you know what? Shit happens. Luke’s life didn’t turn out to be so great and his guilt made him grumpy. So what? I loved Mark Hamill’s portrayel of this old, battered, sarcastic Luke. Actually I was more disappointed in Han’s portrayal in The Force Awakens. He left?! He left?! Seriously? Why is no one angry about this? “I reminded you of Ben bla bla” I wouldn’t want that but I guess it could have been the case. Maybe being a father was hard for Han, especially with a kid who has his emotions heightened and very strong with the force so he decided Luke can help Ben better, but that was a mistake. Ok, sad but it doesn’t ruin Han and certainly doesn’t ruin my childhood. If all these people were oh so perfect they wouldn’t feel real, you can’t relate to them. And what people expected Ben Solo to wake up one day and say “ Oh my perfect perfect uncle Luke. I have decided that I will turn to dark side. Yeah just happened. I will go full evil because I am a sociopath. I would advise you to disappear BUT it should be for some kind of badass reason because you are perfect. And because I am evil let’s say I force chained you or something. Because you can’t make mistake. You can’t be afraid or ashamed or guilty. Neither can I for that matter. Here is my evil laugh and also I have a baby face now. Just because. Ok? I will wait for you and some girl who may or may not be your daughter who you should have abandon ed if she is your daughter, to come kill me. Oh wait! It was I who abandoned her somehow? Yeah that will fix it. So you two kill me in the end and that’s it. Just like the original trilogy right? Where you killed Darth Vader for turning to dark side and killed Palpatine too! Wait, that’s not what happened? Then what the hell these fanboys are so angry about?” Yeah maybe he can still say it... I will say a lot of things if the leaks are true🤬

Why I Don’t Want Ben Solo to Die

Look, I am aware that Kylo Ren is a widely unpopular character with Star Wars fans. And that seems only legitimate, after all he killed his own father.

But reading and listening to fans’ comments, I come across the same judgement all over again: he is simply hated because he’s not badass.

The moment he destroys the ship’s console in a fit of rage it was already clear to most fans: what a baby.

When he took off his helmet so we could see his vulnerable features: that is supposed to be the villain?! He’s neither ugly nor beautiful enough! He looks normal!! (How awful.)

Kylo Ren / Ben Solo after the patricide, obviously traumatized. What a sissy. He did not enjoy the terrible thing that he did. He’s in pain and sorrow because his father is dead by his own hand, which means that he did love him.

A villain who loves someone? Who doesn’t enjoy the terrible things he does? My, my, how uncool is that. What a bad example to kids watching the show.

Ben watches Rey leave with the Falcon, tears on his face. He’s more miserable than ever, kneeling on the ground, literally having hit rock bottom.

But he’s the Supreme Leader now, folks!! Wasn’t that what he wanted all along? Why isn’t he triumphant?!

Ben Solo / Kylo Ren, like Anakin Skywalker / Darth Vader is a split personality. Many fans have never seen Ben behind the mask, not even in his interactions with Rey, because hey, if he was secretly a hero, he ought to be badass. And Ben is not badass, the son of Han and Leia is vulnerable and timid. So there can’t be a good guy in there somewhere, am I right?

Sorry, but I can’t help wondering how people can be so blind. It has been staring us in the face from the start that this man is not the story’s villain, that he is on a painful but ultimately successful way to redemption.

And by “redemption” I don’t mean coming back to the Light, but finally finding and sharing the balance the Force and the galaxy so desperately need. It wasn’t for nothing that he had promised his grandfather that he would finish what he started.

A guy I know claims that the wide-spread sympathy for Kylo / Ben (mostly coming for females) springs from the fact that for some unexplainable reason the role was given to Adam Driver, and that the actor’s personal charisma is leading fans to unhealthy and illogical conclusions. He never wondered why Disney gave Driver of all people this role in the first place, and that there actually might be a very good reason for that.

It’s easier to pretend that the saga is ruined, that Lucas has lost his magic touch and Disney is defiling the saga’s miserable remainders, than to sit down and try to think about it for just a minute. To listen, instead of believing to know everything by breaking down a 9-film-3-trilogies story to “it’s always black against white, ka-boom, the white ones win, the end”. Maybe, just maybe, Lucas had a good reason for telling the prequels the way he did and for selling the rights for the sequels to the Disney studios of all places.

One of the things that annoy me most is that so many fans keep calling Ben “Kylo Ren” and simply refuse to accept that actually they are speaking about Ben Solo, the son of Han and Leia and the nephew of Luke. Hence, also, the stubborn and unrelenting “it will turn out that Rey is a Skywalker / Organa / Solo / Kenobi”, even if in the first three cases these fans would actually be expecting her to kill her own cousin or half-brother.

Many of us have grown up with and loved the Star Wars original saga. I can understand that a lot fans are irritated by both prequels and sequels because used to stuff like Jaws, Rocky, Rambo, Alien etc. they of course expect a diluted and warmed-up rehash of the original story and not a development of themes and characters.

But these antis never seem to consider that Ben dying, and dying unrepentant, is the very worst service the saga could do to the original story. It has been said and shown over and over that Rey is a nobody from nowhere. Ben is, thus, indeed the last scion and heir to the heroes from the original trilogy. If he “gets by his deserts”, all that his family suffered and went through was in vain.

His father sacrificing himself - for nothing.

His uncle - ditto.

But to these fans, Kylo’s miserable death would be the only thing that could still halfway reconcile them with the allegedly disastrous, or at least very unsatisfying, sequel trilogy. If they were “real fans” like they claim, in my opinion they rather ought to pray day and night for Ben’s redemption. If they would dare to look beyond their noses, they would realize that Ben has his uncle’s learning, his father’s slyness, his grandfather’s protectiveness and his mother’s empathy and that these qualities are only waiting for the right spark to ignite inside of him and light the galaxy.

I have my own, personal reasons why I’m hoping for Ben Solo to be redeemed, and I’m going to admit that they are pretty personal.

Yes, I like Ben Solo and I like Adam Driver: not because of their pectorals and arm muscles (although they’re nice to look at 😊) but mostly because I identify with them. I want Ben to change and be happy and I hope for Adam to make a marvelous job of this role. I know he and the rest of the crew won’t be capable to convince everyone, but I do hope that they will make Ben Solo’s character, life and development understandable to as many viewers as possible.

I don’t want Ben Solo to fail and die miserably, unrepentant.

Nor do I want him to become Rey’s pet, only good enough to have kids with her so that she will finally have her own family.

I don’t want Ben Solo to die “because that whiny sissy deserves it”.

I don’t want him to die because he’s sensitive and “a real guy isn’t sensitive”.

I don’t want him to die because “he’s done so much evil and doesn’t deserve to be forgiven.”

I don’t want him to die by Rey’s hand because she’s badass so whatever she does, it’s ok.

I don’t want him to die because “he’s not good-looking so he can’t be the hero”.

I want the last scion of the Skywalker saga, the oversensitive, doubtful, patient, emphatic, funny-looking Ben Solo to prove to the world at large that you can be a hero and find your place in your own place, as a man, even if you don’t come up with any of the common prerequisites for a hero in the common sense of the word.

I want him to show the galaxy and the audience at large that it’s never too late, that you can change, grow beyond your wounds and weaknesses, find your own place among humanity and a happy ever after.

I want him to be a role and an encouragement for everyone like me who is introverted, insecure, thoughtful, sensitive and overall not badass.

For the same reason, I was happy when I saw that my theory that Rey would take a plunge into the Dark Side was founded. Rey is being mistaken by most fans as the true heroine of the saga because we see the story unfold mostly from her point of view, so we tend to identify with her and to overlook the arrogance, stubbornness and aggressiveness that were already hinting at her personal development.

I hope that Episode IX will finally make abundantly clear down to the last fan that even the most pure and intelligent and well-meaning heroine can still go down a dark path. (Louder for the people in the back: Anakin and Ben had all chance to be heroes and they were turned evil by the events around them.)

I want the Star Wars saga to end on the note “you don’t have to be badass to save the world.”

I want Love to be the triumphant end note.

I want vulnerability and empathy to be portrayed, in this action science-fiction world-wide known saga, as qualities that do not necessarily make you weak but can make you strong if you’re in the right place and employ them in the right way, instead of denying them and secretly admiring who has no qualms with going over corpses.

I know that many, many fans will never have compassion for Vader or Anakin. For some reason, if someone is frightening, they are likely to bow down before him and to think he’s right with everything he does, even killing and torturing.

Most fans hated the prequels’ depiction of Anakin Skywalker because he wasn’t a fearsome person like Vader but so desperately human.

They similarly hate Kylo Ren and wish him to end in the most horrible way because he’s conflicted and suffering instead of “enjoying” his crimes.

I know I’m being mean now: but I really hope that the expectations of these fans for “the badass wins” will explode in their faces when Episode IX comes out.

I predict that countless viewers all over the world will howl to the moon in frustration, claim that Disney ruined the franchise for good and sign petitions to start everything all over again.

But I hope that viewers who are less prejudiced will listen with their heart and find confirmation for what, in Lucas’ own words, the saga is all about: compassion and family.

And I also hope that future generations who will watch the saga on the whole, in particular boys and young men, will grow up with the message that you don’t have to be canonically handsome, formidable, violent and cruel in order to be a hero, but that loyalty and belonging to something bigger than yourself are more important; that a true hero is not someone who saves the world all by himself but who overcomes himself and creates a better place for other people and together with other people.

I don’t need to watch the lonesome hero, the cowboy riding away into the sunset. There are more than enough action films like that. Let Star Wars be a glorious exception for that cliché. I want it to give encouragement to people who, like me, are not cool and badass but for this are not useless, weak and have nothing to give to the world. If the saga ends the way I hope, I will assuredly not sign petitions for some of its chapters to be removed from canon but send George Lucas personally an enormous bouquet of flowers together with a card offering him all of my admiration and gratitude.

Do it for us, Kylo, Ben, Adam, George, please. Show the world that it’s always love that ought to win, not violence. Prove in a convincing way to whoever watches the saga that emotionality and doubts are not weaknesses but virtues, and that you can be a worthy and happy person without being cruel, vicious and creepy. I’m right here rooting for you and waving your flag.

See you in December. 😊