#sometimes they're slightly out of order which is no big deal

[elysiaheaven]

𝗕𝗮𝗯𝘆𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴..?-𝟮𝟭-(The Fox's Wedding)

Words:2676

The conversation continued, a lively argument broke out between Yanqing and Yunli.

"First, you didn't kick my butt!" Yanqing declared, his voice filled with youthful defiance. "Second, you'll never kick my butt! Third, how about we settle this right now and see who kicks whose butt?"

Yunli grinned, accepting the challenge with gusto. "Yeah, I'm up for that! And if I kick your butt, you'll drop out of the Wardance. Deal?"

March 7th, looking puzzled, interjected, "Why are you two arguing again? I thought things had been improving between you lately..."

Jiaoqiu, observing the commotion with mild interest, explained, "There was talk that the leading disciples of the Luofu and Zhuming generals were supposed to face off in the Wardance, but for some reason, they suddenly teamed up to train an apprentice of their own. Turns out the rumors are true."

"Tomorrow is the big day of the Wardance," Jiaoqiu continued, his tone taking on a slightly more serious edge. "Shouldn't you two be focusing on honing your skills instead of teaching swordplay here?"

Yunli looked at Jiaoqiu, recognition dawning in her eyes. "Ah, you're... um, you're... That's right! You're the pink-haired fox from the Yaoqing!"

March 7th chuckled, adding, "This is Mr. Jiaoqiu."

"Pink-haired fox..." Jiaoqiu mused, a faint smile playing on his lips. "What are you laughing at? You've got pink hair, too!"

"Well, this is Mr. Jiaoqiu, the healer working for the General of the Xianzhou Yaoqing," March 7th clarified.

Yunli, catching on, asked, "So, you're the participant attending the Wardance on behalf of the Yaoqing, and you were trying to sneak a peek at our training?"

Jiaoqiu shook his head with a light-hearted chuckle. "Sorry for the misunderstanding. I don't know anything about martial arts. I'm just here on the general's orders to take care of some official business. I didn't mean to interrupt your training. I'll be on my way."

Yunli raised an eyebrow, her curiosity piqued. "If you know nothing about martial arts, why were you smirking earlier?"

Jiaoqiu shrugged, his smile widening. "Well, my curiosity got the better of me, I suppose. When I heard Miss March's pondering about what to learn, I couldn't help but wander over."

From behind you, you offered a soft, almost ethereal laugh. "It's true, isn't it? Sometimes even the sweetest of us can get caught up in the chaos. But don't worry, you two are doing great."

Jiaoqiu, now focused on the conversation, continued, "From my professional experience, cleavers, slicers, chopping knives, and carving knives are all just tools, kind of like frying, sautéing, boiling, and deep-frying in cooking. They're just ways for people to show off their skills. How you use them really depends on the ingredients you're working with."

Yunli's eyes sparkled with curiosity. "Are you saying our swordplay is like cooking?"

Jiaoqiu nodded, his tone more animated. "Exactly! It's like your sword teaching methods. If you align your 'ingredient' — in other words, your apprentice's natural tendencies — with the right 'cooking method' — that is, the teaching method that best suits her — she'll make double the progress in half the time!"

You took the opportunity to interject with a kind smile. "Just remember, it's not just about technique. It's about how you nurture and support each other."

Jiaoqiu added, "For example, Golden Eggplant tastes best when fried, Cloud Peppers when stir-fried, and Yellow Boulder Beef when simmered. It's all about discovering the nature of the ingredients... uh, I mean, apprentice."

March 7th, already feeling a pang of hunger, laughed. "All this talk about food is making me hungry."

Yunli, confused, asked, "Aren't you a healer? Why are you talking about food?"

Jiaoqiu shrugged. "Well, it's just a metaphor. The medicinal school I follow on the Xianzhou Yaoqing is called the Ranzhi School, which specializes in food therapy, so it's only natural that I know a thing or two about cooking."

Yunli raised an eyebrow. "So... you're the general's cook?"

Jiaoqiu chuckled. "I'm a healer! But anyway, a cook who isn't interested in health doesn't make for a good advisor. Fine, call me a cook if you want."

The conversation shifted, you approached Yunli and Yanqing with a warm, genuine smile. "I hope you both find your way and enjoy the Wardance. Remember, it's not just about the fight, but about the camaraderie and the connections you make along the way."

Jiaoqiu, however, seemed to get more serious. "Picture this: Two individuals, the one standing is full of malice, the other lying down is honorable and righteous. How can the one who's lying down label the one standing as 'sinister?' In the throes of combat, where life and death hinge on a singular moment, every idea fades into nothingness. The only thing that matters is 'staying alive.' Surviving the battlefield reshapes all notions of worth. Be it integrity or treachery, in my eyes, their significance is negligible."

Yanqing, feeling the weight of Jiaoqiu's words, responded, "Perhaps you've underestimated Yunli and me, Mr. Jiaoqiu. We may be young, but we've seen our fair share of war."

Jiaoqiu acknowledged their point with a nod. "Well, well, then you should know that the Wardance is nothing more than a contest. So, why are you so focused on it?"

Yanqing explained, "When I was appointed as the ringmaster for the Wardance, I asked the general: 'We Cloud Knights are supposed to charge into the fray and slay enemies. Why do we have to swing swords in a ring just to please an audience?' And this is how the general replied: 'To unsheathe your sword in a ring is no different than on the battlefield, as your sword reveals the might of all Cloud Knights.'"

Yanqing's voice held a note of pride. "The Wardance is the perfect chance to showcase martial virtue and forge alliances from all over the cosmos. When we unsheathe the sword without drawing blood, we not only display our might but also the martial virtue of the Cloud Knights."

Jiaoqiu, now intrigued, said, "That's quite an insightful statement, Yanqing. Well, my apologies for being so short-sighted. I've been on the Luofu for quite some time, but I haven't had the chance to see the ceremony venue for myself yet. Hearing you speak so highly of it has piqued my curiosity. Would you mind showing me around?"

Yanqing's eyes lit up. "You want to see the Skysplitter ship where the Wardance will be held? Let's go! I bet Yunli and Miss March haven't seen it either, right? Well then, I'll give you all a tour."

Jiaoqiu: "Surviving the battlefield reshapes all notions of worth. Be it integrity or treachery, in my eyes, their significance is negligible."

Yunli, curious, looked at Jiaoqiu with a hint of concern but decided to keep her thoughts to herself. She turned to you, her cat-like form now back to its original state after a brief transformation, and asked, "Can you believe it? March 7th has actually become a pretty decent swordmaster in such a short time. Now I understand why grandpa always had a grin on his face while training me."

You responded with a soft chuckle, "It's amazing what a bit of dedication and the right guidance can achieve. March 7th certainly has talent, and it seems like her training has paid off."

Yanqing, eager to move on, looked at the group and said, "Let's go. I'll give you a tour of the Skysplitter."

With a quick teleport, the group arrived at Stargazer Navalia.

Jiaoqiu, taking in the surroundings, remarked, "Looks like a lot of other visitors have also come to catch a glimpse of the Skysplitter."

Yanqing noticed Jiaoqiu's contemplative expression and asked, "What's up, Mr. Jiaoqiu?"

Jiaoqiu hesitated before replying, "No... it's nothing."

Yanqing pointed towards the airship in the distance. "Do you see that airship? That's the Skysplitter, the venue for the Wardance ceremony."

You glanced at the airship with a thoughtful expression and added, "It doesn't look all that impressive from this distance, but I'm sure it's something special up close."

Jiaoqiu's eyes followed the direction Yanqing pointed, and he nodded slightly. "Indeed. It may not seem like much now, but appearances can be deceiving."

Yanqing smiled, ready to lead the way. "Come on, let's get closer and see what all the fuss is about. You'll get a better view soon enough."

Jiaoqiu observed Yanqing with a thoughtful expression and remarked, "Oh, Yanqing, so young, yet so grown-up... By the way, how old are you exactly?"

Yanqing, not missing a beat, replied, "Age doesn't really matter. All swordmasters will understand how I feel."

Jiaoqiu nodded, taking in Yanqing's response. "Hmm... I get it. Looks like all the kids on the Luofu live tough lives. So, how about you, Miss Yunli?"

Yunli, slightly taken aback, responded with a touch of humor, "It's not polite to ask a girl her age, no matter which Xianzhou ship you're on."

You, who had been quietly observing the conversation, interjected softly, "Sometimes the journey is more important than the number of years, wouldn't you agree?"

Jiaoqiu, slightly amused, said, "I'm not asking your age! I'm asking if you have a dream like Yanqing has?"

Yunli, with a hint of playfulness, retorted, "You don't talk like a cook; you sound more like a TV host or something."

Jiaoqiu, slightly exasperated, clarified, "...Need I repeat myself again? I'm a healer."

Yunli sighed and shared her thoughts. "Well, I... I don't have a dream like Yanqing does. The only reason I'm participating in the Ringmaster's Challenge is because I made a promise to my grandfather that I'd win the precious sword he's contributed to the Wardance."

Yanqing smirked, "Sounds like that mind of yours is just filled with swords."

Yunli, with a serious tone, continued, "My... father... was a craftsman on the Xianzhou Zhuming. Because of his foolishness, many innocent people fell victim to the cursed swords he forged."

You, sensing Yunli's pain, reached out with a comforting presence. "It sounds like you've been through a lot, Yunli. Your resolve to protect others from harm is admirable."

Yunli looked at you with a soft smile. "Thank you. Since I was a kid, it's been clear to me that not everyone deserves to have a weapon in their hands. Giving them a sword is no different than being cruel to the innocent."

Jiaoqiu nodded thoughtfully. "So, whenever I come across someone unworthy of a sword, I can't help but want to take it away from them. Given that Yanqing is the Wardance ringmaster, I'm stepping up to challenge him, to ensure the precious sword doesn't fall into the hands of an unworthy master."

Yanqing, a bit defensive, asked, "Hey! What do you mean by 'an unworthy master'?"

Jiaoqiu glanced at you and then back at Yanqing. "I see. It's not easy for kids on the Zhuming either. Well, it's better to have a reason for wielding a sword than to be lost and confused. I've saved countless Cloud Knights in my life, and there are plenty of exceptional warriors just like the two... of you..."

Yanqing noticed Jiaoqiu's sudden shift in demeanor and asked, "What happened, Mr. Jiaoqiu?"

Jiaoqiu shook his head, as if clearing his thoughts. "...Oh, nothing. I was just reminded of some old friends and old tales."

Turning his attention back to Yanqing and Yunli, Jiaoqiu continued, "Judging from my professional perspective as a healer, both of you possess remarkable vitality; your energies flow like raging fires and mighty gales. The upcoming fight... will definitely be impressive."

You smiled gently, adding, "I'm sure both of you will give an incredible performance. I look forward to seeing it."

Jiaoqiu glanced around at the Skysplitter and Stargazer Navalia. "Well, we've seen the Skysplitter and toured the Stargazer Navalia. I guess it's time to say goodbye for now."

March 7th, joining the conversation, said with a touch of disappointment, "What, you're leaving already? But you haven't asked me about my dreams! I've been working hard too, you know!"

Jiaoqiu, with a chuckle, replied, "It's getting late, Miss March. Unlike you lot, I'm a grown-up bound by responsibilities and duties. The tasks entrusted to me by the general won't complete themselves."

Jiaoqiu turned to Yanqing with a curious look. "By the way, Yanqing, is it normal to have so many people wandering around in an automated area like the Stargazer Navalia?"

Yanqing, with a knowing smile, answered, "...Actually, this is a restricted area, but since you're all guests, I made an exception so you could take a look around."

Jiaoqiu nodded, understanding. "I see. Well, I'll take my leave. I wish you both the best of luck in the ring tomorrow."

Jiaoqiu prepared to leave, you stood there, bowing with a quiet grace, your eyes betraying an emptiness that seemed to stretch endlessly. Each step you took felt heavier, like the weight of countless regrets was pulling you further into the abyss of despair. The world around you seemed to blur, the bustling Skysplitter and Stargazer Navalia fading into a distant haze.

You found yourself questioning, once again, why you should even continue. The internal struggle was consuming, gnawing at the edges of your sanity with every unanswered query. You walked alongside Jiaoqiu, your movements slow and deliberate, but the darkness within was encroaching, turning each step into a battle against overwhelming sorrow.

Suddenly, you felt a gentle touch on your arm. Startled, you looked up to see Jiaoqiu's hand resting there. His eyes, usually so calculating and reserved, were now filled with a deep, unexpected concern. For a moment, the world seemed to pause as you met his gaze, the anguish and helplessness reflected in your own.

In that brief silence, the walls you had so carefully constructed around your heart began to crumble. You felt a wave of vulnerability crashing over you. It was as if Jiaoqiu's touch had opened a floodgate of emotions that you had kept tightly controlled. Without thinking, you found yourself speaking, your voice trembling with the weight of your sorrow.

"I'm sorry," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "I'm so sorry for everything... for ruining your life. I never meant for any of this to happen. I'm sorry for the pain I've caused."

The scene shifts to Jing Yuan in his private quarters, the flickering light of the lantern casting shadows on the walls. He sits at his desk, staring at a letter that has just been delivered. His usually composed demeanor is shattered as he reads, his hands trembling slightly. The contents of the letter unravel the painful truth he had been missing, connecting the dots between recent events and the anguish you have endured.

A single tear escapes his eye as he clenches his jaw, trying to hold back the wave of emotion. The realization hits him hard—he now understands the gravity of what you've been through and the mistakes that led to it. His heart aches with regret as he realizes how much he has misjudged the situation. Without uttering a word, he rises from his chair, determination and sorrow etched across his face. He knows he must see you again to offer his heartfelt apology.

Cut to the ancient seaside shore, where Feixiao stands with an air of quiet anticipation. Her eyes are sharp, but there's a subtle softness in her gaze as she awaits her guests. The scene shifts as Jing Yuan approaches, looking troubled but resolute.

Feixiao "I am glad to finally meet you in person. Guests from the Luofu, I presume?"

Jing Yuan"You're here about the Ambrosial Arbor's resurrection, no?"

Feixiao "Straight to the point. I like it."

Jing Yuan, barely able to mask his distress, takes a deep breath and asks: "One of the messengers... was his name Jiaoqiu? Did he marry the woman named Y/n? No need to worry, I know of her past. and why he might have married her.."

Feixiao's eyes widen with realization. She nods solemnly, understanding now that the pieces of the puzzle are falling into place. Her expression hardens slightly as she contemplates the gravity of the situation.

Feixiao "Yes, Jiaoqiu. He... accidentally married her to save Moze from dying."

Jing Yuan's face reflects a profound sadness as he absorbs this new information. He pulls out a letter from his coat and hands it to Feixiao. It's a letter that provides a detailed account of what ahppened

Jing Yuan: "We understood the history of her past wrong...then, She had every right to be rude towards me."

Feixiao looks down at the letter..

What!? Is Jiaoqiu planning ?!

Is that why..you acted so....mean..? To....Make feel a little better to kill you..?

Your soul has the power to heal...... 

He must have known about it...You also seemed to be aware...

yet

What is.....? Why are you so..? Kind...?

[kadoodles-on-ao3]

I have been. SO BUSY! But in a good way!!!

Fic-wise I am nearly done with the prologue! Sorry it's taken me so long to do, I ended up not being happy with how it was going pacing/length-wise but still liking much of the guts of what I wrote so I took a full day to redraft it. And now I'm *much* happier with it. All that's left is to get my bf to beta read it after work and it will be posted!! Very exciting!!!! :) Part of why it took so long for me to finish it is...

Over the past week I've made a new friend who has been unpacking a ton of stuff from the Xenoblade Chronicles ISO: I now have access to all of the audio in the game, not just the battle lines! I've ripped and uploaded the missing boss lines to Sounds Resource myself! (They may still be pending approval but they're on their way!)

As such I'm making a catalogue of the background music and the cutscene audio as well! They will be fully organized and available to download on my Drive on the 10th! :) (Still gotta finish up the cutscene audio though, there's sooooo much) Sounds Resource doesn't allow music or cutscene audio to be uploaded there so this is the only place you can get them aside from ripping them yourself. Which brings me to...

I've also wrote an extensive tutorial on how to rip all of the assets I have so anyone can do it, as well as explain which files lead to which data! A huge part of the process for me was not knowing how to use the toolkit nor knowing where to look for what I wanted, but now that can all be cleared up for good for everyone! I'll also be posting this on the 10th!

Of course I also need to finalize my organization sheet for the battle lines: move my notes to text docs instead, put links to explanations for terms when they show up, figure out Face Nemesis' unused lines now that I know they exist... lots to do!

[lazarushound]

The Official lazarushound Dean Winchester Playlist

Okay so this playlist is a big deal to literally no one except me but I spent like two hours explaining every single song on my dean playlist and I'll be damned if I don't share it with SOMEONE.

The playlist in question, which I update and add songs too fairly often(ish). It's roughly arranged in order of Dean's story, from pre-canon to the finale. A fair few of the songs are courtesy of catgirlhannibal, whom I adore.

Warning that is is a VERY LONG READ and almost definitely is plagued with typos. Without further ado, here is the 9.5k word explanation of every single song (at time of posting) on the playlist. Call that shit explicable Dean Winchester vibes, complete with my favourite lyrics from each song.

• Ramble On - Led Zeppelin

Dean's favourite song! The whole song is basically about having no choice but to keep going, even when things are tough. It's also actually about LOTR which is funny cause Dean's secretly a nerd lol. But yeah, it reflects a lot on Dean's nature as a traveller and someone who never settles in one place for long. Sometimes I grow so tired but I know I've got one thing I've got to do - I ramble on.

• Travelling Riverside Blues - Led Zeppelin

Dean's other favourite song! Probably not a popular reading of this song but for me, it definitely has a level of queer coding. Asked sweet mama, let me be your kid, she said "you might get hurt if you don't keep it hid" is the most obvious example of it.

• Psalms 40:2 - The Mountain Goats

Very biblical song lol. It's a lot about small town America (as many TMG songs are) and shitty motels which resonates with Dean pretty heavily. Not to mention: He has raised me from the pit and set me high.

• Night Moves - Bob Segar

This one is literally in the show so naturally reminds me of him. But it's about a teenage romance which definitely makes me think of young Dean. I mean, come on: out in the backseat of my '60 Chevy when the man drives a '67 Chevy??

• Father - The Front Bottoms

A few songs on this playlist are pretty much only there for one or two lines. This is not one of them. I could write another essay about this song and how it relates to Dean, every fucking line. You were high school, and I was just more like real life, and you were okay as a girlfriend, but I was just more like his wife 😮‍💨

• Old Number Seven - The Devil Makes Three

This is another song I'm pretty convinced was written about Dean. Once played it on guitar and my dad asked if it was about him so that's all the validation I needed. Angels start to look good to me, they're gonna have to deport me to the fiery deep.

• Mission - Alex G

This song to me is very much pre canon/season one Dean. It's all about following orders and being a good soldier, much like Dean's devotion to his father. I was trained to stick to the mission, I was trained, I kept it on track. To me, Mission has a slightly bitter tone, as though the narrator is resentful that they've followed orders so obediently and only suffered as a result.

• Adam Raised a Cain - Bruce Springsteen

Courtesy of catgirlhannibal. What a surprise, another biblical song. Dean sees himself as nothing more than a soldier, violent and aggressive. He sees his father as a hero, despite the fact that he's an abusive bastard. Well, daddy worked his whole life for nothing but pain, now he walks these empty rooms looking for something to blame.

• Shoulders - Big Thief

Okay, I'd argue this song is more akin to Sam than Dean but fuck you, this is my playlist and I choose the music. And the blood of the man who killed my mother with his hands, it's in me, it's in me, in my veins is obviously related to Sam and Azazel but also to Dean and John, as though Dean comes to realise that he's just like his father.

• Celene - Gigi Perez

End of season two! This song is about losing a sibling and is very much the mindset I pictured Dean to be in after losing Sam for the first time. I'd also argue it's how Dean felt when Sam was at Stanford. The other day I thought of something funny, but no one would have laughed but you.

• Like Real People Do - Hozier

Why were you digging? What did you bury before those hands pulled me from the earth? HELLOOO CASTIEL! Very season four Destiel, those boys will NOT kiss like real people do.

• It's Only Sex - Car Seat Headrest

Okay so post-resurrection Dean is VERRRRRY traumatised which makes it difficult for him to enjoy the things he used to love, including sex. This song is also about his struggle over his feelings for Cas: what happens if I don't like it? I like you.

• Not Allowed - TV Girl

Well, you may not like it but you better learn how cause it's your turn now! Very much following on from It's Only Sex, similar themes in this song but more relating to Dean's insistence on keeping up The Act and pretending he's the same man he was before Hell.

• Presumably Dead Arm - Sidney Gish

Second catgirlhannibal song to make the list. Just to start this off, this isn't the start of anything. To me, this whole song is Dean skirting around his feelings for Cas and trying to pretend they don't exist in hopes they go away eventually. They don't. Honey, you are nothing to me, (but alcohol and dopamine)/(I don't call people anything thought to be so sweet).

• Tangled in Ropes - Holy Locust

I literally wrote a whole essay about this one so I'll keep it short with just the best lyric. Had a laugh made of wax, house made of butter, how they melted that summer.

• Hate Yourself - TV Girl

If there's one thing we've learned about Dean Winchester, it's that the man loves to use sex as a means to avoid his problems. How long will it take? Before you start to hate yourself and go straight into the arms of someone else is just straight up Dean struggling to give himself time to grieve and overcome his trauma. He'd rather just hookup with someone else and pretend it doesn't make him hate himself more and more every time.

• Cherry Wine - Hozier

See: my whole essay about this song and Destiel. And it's worth it, it's divine, I have this some of the time.

• Body to Flame - Lucy Dacus

Another catgirlhannibal song! I see you holding your breath with your arms outstretched, waiting for someone to come rip open your chest. This song to me feels like Dean kicking himself for every trusting Cas, after Cas betrays him for the first time. To accept Cas as his family was going against his every instinct to close himself off from outsiders, and Cas just proved him right by betraying him.

• Motion Sickness - Phoebe Bridges

Okay this one is basically just for I hate you for what you did, and I miss you like a little kid lol. It just perfectly encapsulates Dean, bitter and resentful towards Cas whilst simultaneously missing him so much his heart aches.

• I'm Your Man - Mitski

Oh, woof. Continuing the betrayal arc, this song is all about Dean's guilt. It's his fault Cas fell from Heaven, his fault this angel isn't holy anymore. I'm sorry I'm the one you love, no one will ever love me like you again.

• Not Strong Enough - Boygenius

Where do I start? Always an angel, never a god 😮‍💨 I think if you played this song to Dean it would break him a little bit. I DON'T KNOW WHY I AM THE WAY I AM!!!

• Legit Tattoo Gun - The Front Bottoms

I was aware of this song but catgirlhannibal brought to my attention that it's Destiel coded 🧐 Who did I think I was? Who did I think that I could be? Oh, how dare me. Dean just kicking himself for ever thinking he could allow himself to have something with Cas.

• SHALLOW (PPL SWIM IN SHALLOW WATER) - Saya Gray

Okay, this one is a bit of a "hear me out." I'm seeing Mother Mary, she says I'm closer to Hell than the clouds are to Heaven. Dean's mother is called Mary so she's LITERALLY Mother Mary which scratches my brain very nicely. Obviously Dean sees himself as a sinner and doomed for Hell, despite the fact that he's a hero. And I left my enemies, cause nobody hates myself more than me, GOOD LORD DOES THAT MAN LOVE SOME SELF LOATHING. My mother's evil and the angels too is soooooo self explanatory. Dean has an idealistic version of Mary in his head which is challenged when she comes back to life and he interacts with her as an adult. There's also the fact that real angels aren't as "good" as you'd think. Sometimes I don't think I'm cherished enough.

• John Wayne Gacy, Jr. - Sufjan Stevens

This song is an allegory for being gay. The narrator sees himself as evil, just as bad as the serial killer for which the song is named, just because he's gay. And in my best behaviour, I am really just like him, look beneath the floorboards for the secrets I have hid.

• Always - Panic! At the Disco

Another one that is less obvious without me explaining it lol. The light in this song is a reference to the Great Gatsby which is a whole other queer coded story in its own right. But I always (hehe) picture this song as Dean struggling with Cas' feelings for him which are becoming more and more evident. It was always you falling for me particularly stands out to me, along with you are taking me apart like bad glue on a get well card.

• Star Tripping - Kevin Atwater

Okay I looooooove love this song. But it's another song which relates to God and being queer. It's about a very toxic relationship, in which one person is relatively okay with their sexuality and the other is incredibly repressed (seem familiar?). I could use any lyric from this song but I'll go with: you think He made you wrong, I think you're giving Him way too much credit, crying at the party, know it only bothers you if you let it, later you can kiss me, blame it on the stuff you took to forget it.

• The Calendar - Panic! At The Disco

Another Panic! song 💀 also from vices and virtues. Another "hear me out." There's the more obvious I will come back to life but only for you but I also think the rest of the song relates pretty strongly to Destiel. You said if you don't let it out, you're gonna let it eat you away, I'd rather be a cannibal baby, animals like me don't talk anyway. For me, it strongly resembles Dean's view of himself, an attack dog. Cannibalism as a metaphor for love. And obviously that man loves to repress stuff and let it eat him away, so to speak.

• Lacy - Olivia Rodrigo

Lawd. This song has a lot of queer subtext in and of itself. It's all about adoring someone to the point where you become insecure because you know you'll never be as good as them. The song is bitter and resentful whilst simultaneously loving and adoring. I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you, yeah I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you. He hates himself because he loves Cas. HE HATES HIMSELF BECAUSE HE LOVES CAS.

• Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want - The Smiths

Dean does not let himself have nice things. Lord knows, it would be the first time. This song feels pretty self explanatory to me lol.

• Feeling Oblivion - Turin Brakes

Okay this is my favourite song of all time so I'm slightly biased for including it HOWEVER. I feel it also applies to Dean pretty well. We're now at the point in the story where Dean is about to/has already lost Cas. This song invokes an incredibly deep feeling of nostalgia for me, like looking back on when things were better. Now it is night time, maybe we're cruising avoiding the anti-cruise, like tell me this isn't Dean and Cas just driving around Kansas cause Dean can't sleep 😭 and don't even get me fucking started on so don't leave me here on my own, by the time fear takes me over, will we still be rolling? Feeling oblivion cause this song makes me cry every time I hear it I stg.

• Who We Are - Hozier

Poor Dean :( bro has just lost his best friend, and is now realising that he'll never be able to tell him how he felt. It's like he's seeing things plainly for the first time, realising what he's been missing. He never had Cas because they spent so long avoiding their relationship, and now it's too late. You only feel it when it's lost, getting through still has its cost, quietly, it slips through your fingers, love, falling from you drop by drop.

• Crack Baby - Mitski

I don't know if I really need to say more than: crack baby, you don't know what you want, but you know that you had it once, and you know that you want it back.

• Knockin' on Heaven's Door - Bob Dylan

This is another song that's in the show (dark side of the moon, I love you) so naturally reminds me of Dean. It might be a bit on the nose putting it right at the end but it just feels like Dean finally letting himself rest (die of tetanus). Mama, put my guns in the ground, I can't shoot them anymore.

[fogsrollingin]

See below the most recent fics added to my masterpost of Good Omens fic recs (linked as content source to this post)

✨ Brutal Crowley whump and snuggly Aziraphale comfort here we gooooo ✨

As Beautiful as the Day We Met by Crow__Quill. Teen & up, 7k words, Aziracrow. Summary: Aziraphale finds Crowley after he has been tortured by Hell and tends to his wounds. https://archiveofourown.org/works/49209820 Apologies in advance - I cut out 90% of the author's summary in the details above - it was a long excerpt that proved they could write very well 👌 I've been in a big mood for Crowley whump & comforting Aziraphale and this fic is such a winner. Crowley broken and crying in Aziraphale's arms, I am so here for it!!!

Guardian Angel by dreamsofspike. Rated Mature, 33k words, Aziracrow. Summary: Crowley is summoned. It's not the first time - but it's probably the worst. https://archiveofourown.org/works/21307328 Oh my gosh this fic was harrowing - the Crowley whump was A+. Then the rescue was brilliantly paced. Sometimes the order of operations can get out of wack during rescue scenes but I loved every beat of it. The hugs and cuddling at the end was like the best surge of oxytocin ever. This was such a good read!

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream by theshoparoundthecorner. Rated General, 18k words, Aziracrow. Summary: When he finally drifted off, he dreamt only of a burning bookshop and the end of the world. Since then, the nightmares came nearly every night. Some nights were easier to forget than others, but it was the nights when he woke up with a scream still caught in his throat or drenched in another cold sweat that left him shaken for the rest of the day. It was far too inconvenient to go about one’s day replaying a terrible dream in one’s head, so after about two weeks, Crowley came up with a solution to his problem. Since sleeping seemed to be the cause of all his troubles at the moment, it was simple: he would just stop. Of course, stopping one’s nearly-six-thousand-year routine was easier said than done. Demons didn’t need to sleep, that much was true, but Crowley had grown rather accustomed to it, and quitting was no easy feat. Nevertheless, he did his best to keep his head held high and his eyes wide open, with one goal in mind – avoid alerting Aziraphale to anything out of the ordinary. This, of course, failed miserably. https://archiveofourown.org/works/33308377 Yay cuddly coziness between Crowley and Aziraphale post season one, with angst and PTSD added for spice. Loved it.

(Don't) Say My Name by CosmicOcelot. Rated Mature, 4k words, Aziracrow. Summary: “Aziraphale,” Crowley clutches tighter at Aziraphale’s jacket, hissing the words between his teeth, and the slightly hysterical edge to his voice makes the angel’s entire body flood with sheer panic. “Someone’s summoning me.” https://archiveofourown.org/works/19409536 Loved the Crowley whump. The evil summoning felt a little bit like the beginning of Sandman which I loved. Aziraphale to the rescue is so delicious.

Five Times Crowley's Serpentine Nature Showed by ebullience24. Rated General, 5k words, Aziracrow. Summary: Five Times Crowley's Serpentine Nature Showed, featuring the whole airforce gang. 1. Eyes. 2. Cold-blooded. 3. Crowley can talk to other snakes. 4. Crowley has chronic pain. 5. Brumating https://archiveofourown.org/works/22318813 Fluffy and sweet, I really love the idea of Crowley as a snake, with various habits and powers and sensitivities that all comes with it. The chronic pain aspect to explain why he moves the way he does has piqued my interest too. Really well done!

Of Dust And Diamonds by entanglednow. Rated Explicit, 14k words, Aziracrow. Summary: After they're both released by Hell for good, Crowley and Aziraphale return to the bookshop. They're both dealing with their own trauma, but they're also determined not to lose what they spent six thousand years building towards. https://archiveofourown.org/works/22288885 The way this author treated the hurt/comfort aftermath of rape in hell in this fic was so nuanced and felt very authentic. The way Aziraphale and Crowley both care so deeply for each other, and cope, and circle around each other for comfort, seeking stability and balance with each other. So so good.

[waythroughtheice]

I'm-Not-Calling-It-That Thursday

This is for my Star Force fic, Synthesis Reaction!

Geo is obviously only eleven, so this will be mostly platonic relationships, with the exception of his puppy crush on Sonia.

Geo and Omega-Xis: This relationship takes prime stage in the fic, for good reason. They're partners, the ultimate duo--it was best friends at first crash-landing. Over time, Geo grew to be really fond of Omega-Xis, even if at first (and even now sometimes) the alien irritated him. Omega-Xis acts as a cool mentor, big brother figure/uncle figure--and even a father figure (even though Geo really, really isn't ready to admit that just yet). Omega-Xis is the person Geo can really rely on when things get tough. He's one of the only people he can really, truly trust, since Omega-Xis knows all of his secrets, thanks to them both forming Mega Man. He's not as fond of Omega-Xis keeping secrets, though--especially when they affect Geo (which is like 60% of the time).

Geo and Sonia: He likes her. A lot. They click really well and they uplift each other when the other is down. He can rely on her for a lot of different things that he can't with Luna, Bud, or Zack, since she's one of the the only people he knows that's his age that also transforms into an EM Being with a EM partner that's also his friend. He can't exactly turn to Solo or Jack for some of these things--Solo would just attack him, and Jack would laugh at him. He really admires her strength and kindness, and wishes he could be more help to her. They're definitely only friends, but they're the kind of friends that people can tell that once they grow up they're probably going to end up together. They click too well not to.

Geo and Luna: He likes her too--but in a slightly different way. Luna he relies on to provide a sense of normalcy. Luna's so normal with normal wants and wishes--even as she gets her way with sheer force of will--that being near her relaxes him. She's just his friend, no questions asked.

Geo and Bud: "Good friends that eat together stay together" is their motto. He and Bud just hang out, eat, and do dumb normal guy things together. Geo honestly enjoys the peace being Bud's friend brings--no expectations, no anything....just normal friend things.

Geo and Zach: Geo likes Zach, though he thinks Zach is a little weird. (The feeling is mutual on that front). He often finds himself grounding Zach and bringing him down from his more wild ideas, which at this point thanks to dealing with Omega-Xis is easy for him to do. He does find Zach on his own to be tiring, though, so they tend to only hang out with the others around.

Slight Spoilers for the rest of Synthesis Reaction and for future fics:

Geo and Solo: It is on sight with these two. They don't hate each other but they're rivals, not friends. Not even Geo thinks they're friends--but he does respect Solo a lot, especially ever since he learned that Solo let himself be sealed away with La Mu in order to be a last defense mechanism in case people wanted its power again. He's literally out-of-time, and is completely alone in this new time, and still moves forward. For his part, Solo is pissed that Geo can defeat him, and even more pissed that this kid--soft, unguarded, heedless with his responsibilities--is the one that carries so much power from his people and beyond. He's even more pissed that he respects Geo despite it all. (Tsundere, much?) Still, though, there's a lot of respect between the two, and they help each other out when necessary. They'll grow into great friends when they're older and can understand each other a little bit better.

Geo and Ace: Geo loved Ace. Ace was the uncomplicated, heroic big brother that Geo never realized he needed until he got it. He really looked up to Ace, and admired him whole-heartedly. He nearly slipped into depression when Ace died, and it was only Ace's final message that brought him out of it. He reveres Ace's memory, and wants to do right by him and by it.

Geo and Jack: Geo decided to aggressively adopt Jack as a friend pretty early on, and Jack--eventually--capitulated. After the world nearly ended and all (thanks, Crimson Dragon). They respect each other's boundaries. Jack doesn't push Geo when he just needs to hang out, to be away from his friends and family that would push and push until they got it out of him. Likewise, Geo doesn't push when Jack crashes at his place, and just plays video games with him, does homework, and looks at the stars with him until Jack stops feeling bitter-angry-grieving-unsure. Geo likes Jack's snippy quips and nature, and finds it really funny. For his part, Jack recognizes what only Omega-Xis has: Geo is actually very sarcastic, and has a very dry wit that he normally never lets slip since he thinks it's rude and a touch too mean for most of his friends. It sure slips out with Jack when they're alone, though. They're good friends, and Jack's probably going to grow up into Geo's left hand eventually when Geo takes over leadership roles on Planet AM.

[orangemocharaktajino]

I loved the ATOTS and Bad Buddy crossover. Even just from a personality conflict standpoint alone, all the different dynamics are delicious to me.

Like in Bad Buddy, the whole deal is the connection and conflict between Pat (ESTP) who is loud, high energy, spontaneous, rough around the edges, and somewhere on the continuum between lovably charismatic and obnoxiously annoying depending on who you ask-- vs Pran (ISTJ) who is more calm, organized, cautious, fussy, diligent, and studious.

ESTPs like Pat are lead by Se (extraverted sensing) which focuses on the joy of gathering new sensory experiences and getting out there, getting their hands dirty. They feel restricted by planning and prefer to just go for it and figure things out as they go. Sometimes that thing they figure out by jumping right on in is that there are leeches everywhere.

ISTJs like Pran are lead by Si (introverted sensing) which likes to steadily acquire sensory experiences in a more deliberate way and compare them to past similar experiences. They have more fun when they have a game plan and have some idea of what to expect. An impromptu hike through the wilderness at night is probably not their pick.

Pat and Pran have some similarities in that they're both competitive, both loyal friends, both not very open with their own feelings, both like to address problems head on, both are easily annoyed and aren’t afraid to get loud in an argument.

Though they're both sensors rather than intuitives and thinkers rather than feelers, the way they go about everything is different. Their cognitive functions are all in the same order of priority but one is introverted while the other is extraverted. Pat has Se Ti Fe Ni while Pran has Si Te Fi Ne.

With Tale of 1000 Stars, we have Phupa (ESTJ) who is rigid, stern, dependable, active, and likes to stuff his feelings way deep down and pretend they don't exist vs Tian (ENFP) who is open-minded, curious, lively, a free spirit, and likes to go on spontaneous adventures but tends to be under prepared for them.

Phupa and Tian are both slightly more extraverted than introverted (but neither are as crazy outgoing as Pat). They outwardly seem more like opposites because their priorities for taking in information and making decisions are mismatched. As an intuitive feeler, Tian goes by what feels right or wrong and trusts his gut (even if it doesn't make sense to others) while Phupa defaults to going by the standard procedure or the logical consensus (even when his heart wants him to do something else).

Phupa is lead by Te (extraverted thinking) so his focus is on efficiency. He likes taking the lead to fix problems, protecting his loved ones, and he takes pride in doing things himself to make sure things get done the right way. He also has a ton of Si like Pran (who himself uses a lot of Te too) but I do think Phupha uses Te more. Despite not being particularly extraverted, him favoring Te over Si is what made me lean ESTJ over ISTJ. Also, as a side effect of his emotional constipation, he tends to project.

Who is the stubborn one again?

Tian is lead by Ne (extraverted intuition) so he gets excited by different possibilities and perspectives. Unlike with Pat's Se, Ne doesn't necessarily have to go out and actually do all of the things. Ne users like daydreaming and putting themselves in others' shoes. With Torfun, Tian went all out because his secondary function, Fi (introverted feeling) helped him feel a deep connection through her diary and motivated him to do something positive in her memory. Although they prefer to focus on the big picture, sometimes they can be careless with details and get themselves into totally avoidable predicaments.

Tian and Phupa have all the same cognitive functions. The order isn't quite opposite yet it isn't the same either. Tian favors Ne Fi Te Si while Phupha uses Te Si Ne Fi. Their strengths and weaknesses match well when they work together. Tian helps Phupa by adding some variety to his life and getting him more in touch with his feelings while Phupa helps Tian by being a source of stability and practicality.

Tian and Pran also have all the same functions but the order is exactly opposite. They had a little conflict due to Tian’s poor planning/ getting them lost but tbh maybe some of that is on you for following a drunk man and a child into the jungle, Pran. Both prefer to avoid conflict but stepping on their morals is a surefire way to get them pissed off.

Phupa and Pat have all different functions and different priorities. Neither shies away from a fight or a challenge. Both have a protective side that can turn scary. Both like to get things done and stay busy. At first Phupa sees Pat as reckless, obnoxious, and ridiculous kid. Pat sees Phupa as an overly serious hottie, probably in part because he can tell it makes Phupa short circuit a little bit to be flirted with in such an open and playful way and Pat likes to stir the pot.

I’m glad the play saw Pat as Tian and Pran as Phupa because they are far more similar to each other with those pairs.

Tian and Pat are both the odd man out in a way. Tian is the only NF in the group of STs and yet Pat is the only one that uses Se Ti Fe or Ni. Both are extraverted perceivers and both are friendly, positive, giving, usually easy going, like to improvise, and don’t like following the rules exactly as they are written. They both put on a show with dramatic sulking when slighted but forgive easily.

Meanwhile, Phupa and Pran can easily be differentiated by their preferred habitats. Mountain man, Pran is not. Both believe rules exist for a reason and prefer to follow or enforce them. They can both be overly critical and harsh, sometimes unintentionally. They both seem cold on the outside but they are more sensitive than they let on and can hold a grudge. Both can get a bit bossy. They both have to try to pull their partners back down to earth sometimes. They prefer to use their Ne to stir up possibilities of everything that could possibly go wrong. Both are great at planning, problem solving, and can be depended on.

Anyway, that was a lot to say I liked the interactions and I’m glad they all kinda helped each other. The last episode warmed my soul and gave me everything I wanted.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Alice Fraser has finally released her 2022 show, Chronos. I heard her advertise it on The Bugle for ages, she’ll come on and at the end will plug its upcoming tour dates, which were sometimes in Australia and sometimes in Britain but fucking never within easy driving distance of my house in Canada. But she said a while ago that she was filming it, and now it’s finally on Go Faster Stripe. For purchase in a bundle with her 2023 show, Twist. Which I think I’ve heard about slightly less often, entirely because she’s been on The Bugle slightly less often in 2023, I guess she’s a bit busy as she’s spent this year raising one very young child while pregnant with another. Fewer Bugle appearances, but still found time to do two new hours in two years, film them both, and now you can buy the two of them for ten pounds, which I think is a good deal. I mean I haven’t seen them yet, so I guess I don’t know for sure, maybe Alice Fraser has suddenly become shit at stand-up comedy. But from Alice Fraser as I know her, two shows for ten pounds is great.

I know Alice Fraser as The Bugle's most frequent guest. And I know that because of the spreadsheet that I obviously keep up to date every time a new episode comes out. Actually, as I write this I've realized this would be a good time for me to post the top rankings as of the end of 2023:

Those are the top 15 most frequent guests, out of 42 guests in total (obviously my spreadsheet contains a lot more information than that, these are just the cliff notes, if anyone for some reason wants a list of every Bugle episode containing any individual guest, that is a thing I can provide). Alice Fraser is first with 120 and Nish Kumar is second with 75, so she's got a pretty comfortable lead. That's a fairly nationally diverse top 15 list. Five Brits, three Americans, three Australians, two Indians, one Irish, one NZ.

Anyway. The point is that I got to know enough about Alice Fraser from The Bugle to know I like what she has to say, and want to hear more. So last year I sought out her stand-up specials, and God, they are good. Talking about "intelligence" as an abstract and general concept is sort of nebulous and maybe meaningless, but if it exists, I think Alice Fraser is maybe the most intelligent stand-up comedian out there. She's from Australia and still lives there but she works in the UK a lot (and obviously she went to Cambridge University, another on my disappointingly long list of favourite comedians who were once in Footlights, I really am a big fan of that unfairly elitist institution) and she used to be a lawyer and she's just really brilliant. She makes a lot of puns and dirty jokes on The Bugle and then she gets up in her stand-up shows and tells complex moving stories about family and heritage and culture and tragedy and personal identity (she was raised Buddhist but is also Jewish and has family from lots of different places and those influences from everywhere come up in her work), and it's also funny, and it's really good.

The completist in me loves that Alice Fraser is one of those comedians where almost all her full-length shows has been released at some point, as a video and/or audio special. Here's a screenshot from her Wikipedia page of all her stand-up hours:

And here's a screenshot of the Alice Fraser subfolder in the stand-up folder of my hard drive:

Pretty similar lists; now that her last two shows are online she's made almost everything available. As you see in the screenshot I've already purchased Chronos and Twist, but I haven't watched them yet. I think I'm going to end this year with a full Alice Fraser re-watch. Start with Savage and watch them in order until I get to the new ones. A lot of Alice Fraser's shows build on each other, showing us her perspective and her ideas and her experiences in more and more depth every time, and I think they're worth doing in order. She specifically said that anyone who buys the Chronos/Twist bundle should watch them in that order, as Twist is a sort of sequel to Chronos.

I watched/heard those first three shows - Savage, The Resistance, Empire - last year. I saw Ethos earlier this year, and I think it's my favourite of her shows I've seen, though it's close. More than that, Ethos is one of my top few shows I've seen in 2023 at all (not just shows from 2023 - as that one isn't, it's from 2018 - but shows I've watched in 2023, which is a lot).

Anyway, I haven't even seen the new shows yet so I can't comment on them, but I just wanted to remind anyone who's unaware that Alice Fraser exists, and she's really really good at what she does. If you like comedy with intellectual ambition but also personal depth, introspective but also trying to tackle abstract ideas, storytelling and emotional impact but also I promise it does remember to be funny, then check out Alice Fraser.

Her first three shows can be heard in audio form for free on ABC Podcasts:

And here's where you can buy her new shows on Go Faster Stripe:

I guess I can't technically recommend those shows as I haven't seen them yet, and I won't until I finish my re-watch up to that point. But I definitely recommend Alice Fraser, just as an entity. Highly recommended entity.

[pipwife]

For the 1 + 5 game:

“So…did you also have to deal with carnivorous plants that had skeletal structures or was that just a me thing?”

for Beluz(or anything else if you want)

this turned out a bit longer than i meant it to xD

weird modern philip au where they're on a blind date after learning theyve both been to the b.i.??? wjdnsjdkd it got weird xD

enjoy!

"So… Did you also have to deal with carnivorous plants that had skeletal structures or was that just a me thing?"

Philip glances above his menu to his date with a small, surprised smirk. Despite the restaurant's full seating, it's relatively quiet, and so he speaks at an easy volume, "You want to talk about carnivorous plants so soon?"

Luz—that was her name, Luz, quick on the tongue like a whistle—smiles at him slightly awkwardly. "Better to get it over with?" she laughs. "I haven't met any other humans who have been to the Boiling Isles. I guess I'm a little excited."

"I understand." And he does; learning that there have been humans other than his brother and himself shook him through like an earthquake, leaving him shocked and ecstatic.

That the other human was a handsome young girl who wanted to meet up with him for what was essentially a blind date… A warm blush tickles his cheekbones, which he hopes she doesn't notice. It's been a long time since anyone expressed interest in him and longer still since he felt the same way.

Caleb and Evelyn were married, what, 40 years ago? And he had left that little polycule as soon as their first child was born. Philip had no interest in child rearing at the time.

Ah, but Luz awaits an answer, and so he shakes the memories away.

"To answer your question," he finally continues, setting the menu down and resting his elbows on the table. "Yes. I had never in my life heard of plants with bones—up until they were trying to eat me."

Philip doesn't find the memory very funny, but he takes in Luz' laughter with a smile anyway. He's always liked good-humored people. Caleb always has a bright smile even in the darkest of times—sometimes because of that darkness. His big brother is a strange man.

"Gosh," Luz sighs. "Sometimes I almost miss it. Maybe not the being digested part," she assures him. "But the rest of it? The red foliage, the warm air at the seaside… The people."

Philip has never related less—but his favorite person in the world certainly would. As much as Philip prefers his trees green and his seaside air cool, Caleb had felt differently… "My brother still lives there," he admits. "With his wife and children." (And grandchildren. As if Philip's creaky bones didn't make him feel old enough.) "I could help you go back and forth between realms—"

"Yes!" Luz pops up in her seat, attracting all sorts of stares, before realizing with a small, "Oh!" and making herself small again. "Yes," she says again, quieter this time. "I just… I want to see my teacher. And my little brother, King. I miss them."

"I have felt much the same," he tells her. "When my brother went missing… I did everything I could to find him." He looks down and laughs. "People thought I was out of my head. Our foster parents especially believed my talk of witchcraft was...concerning. But I knew. I knew I was right."

"And you found him." She sounds shocked—or even touched, perhaps. A hand is placed over her heart, her blue-painted nails bright against her dark button-up. "Despite it all, you found him." Luz sighs dreamily, before poking at the table. "That's how I feel about King and Eda. I'd do anything to see them again."

At that, Philip smiles wickedly. "Anything?"

Thankfully, Luz takes his flirting for what it is. Her cheeks darken as she blushes. "We'll see," she teases. A small smile twists her full lips. "We haven't even ordered yet."

Philip hums. "Of course." Still, he stares at her again, this time with renewed attraction. Her round face and long limbs make for a very pretty sight, especially paired with such masculine dress. "Whatever makes you comfortable. And," he assures her. "Regardless of how tonight ends, I'll still put you in touch with my brother."

Luz' shoulders relax and she smiles. "Thank you, Philip."

The sounds of his name on her tongue might be enough to obsess him. Still, he replies gently, "You're quite welcome."

[spinningbuster98]

And here we finally have our first Ashley escort section!

If you're expecting me to bitch...I won't!

She's nowhere near as bad as people make her out to be! Oh sure character-wise she's a cardboard cutout, this is one area where I will absolutely concede that the Remake did a far better job. But gameplay wise? Her AI is actually very responsive!

First off you can tell her to stay put at one spot, so if you know some place where you know enemies won't spawn you can put her there while you clear the area. This won't always be possible of course but even then, Ashley is smarter than she lets on

First off, every time you point a gun she will immediately either run behind Leon or duck out of the way, so if you accidentally kill her that's gonna be on you. Every other time she diligently follows you around with no issue. She can die very quickly, but you can replenish her health with your own healing items, even upgrade her max health like you can with Leon's

There are also only roughly 4 sections with her in total and, excluding this first one which lasts until the end of Chapter 3-1, every other only lasts about 20 minutes, so she's only gonna be present for about 30% of the whole game. Yeah she's kind of annoying, and the game doesn't really benefit from having her around, but she's by no means a deal breaker

And while we're at it let's delve into Resident Evil 4's gameplay itself shall we?

Now I'm not a big RE fan as a whole, but even I'm aware of the divide caused by this game for many, of how it essentially forever altered not only the series' identity but also horror as a whole.

No more fixed camera angles, no more pre rendered backgrounds, no more limited resources, no more non-linear design, no more having to carefully maneuver around enemies to avoid confrontation in order to save up on ammo and stuff. This game is very action focused, you're shooting stuff all the time, it drowns you in ammo, it's very linear, it's pretty much the opposite of classic RE in almost every way, leading to plenty of older fans to call this the game that essentially killed the series

...and I mean....they're not wrong? I know that these types of fans tend to get a bad rep in all kinds of fandoms, sometimes for good reasons as sometimes people can just be straight up dicks, but there's nothing inherently wrong with this general sentiment: you like a series due to a variety of elements which are unique to it. If those elements are gone you no longer enjoy it. Simple as that. Some cry "Oh but you just don't accept change!" but the truth is that one must first consider a specific change to be good before they can accept it

Despite this however...I can't fully agree with this sentiment myself, despite sympathising with it

It's often said that RE4 is not a horrot game, just an action game.

And it's true that this game is not a traditional Survival Horror game due to the aforementioned reasons. But I can't call thos just an action game because, even ignoring what I said about this game's very horror-like atmosphere, visual design and ost last time, there are a bunch of design elements that simply don't make much sense for a pure action game but do for a horror one

Yes this game revolutionized third person shooting in terms of precision and camera controls, not to mention that it features literal over the top melee attacks you can perform after stunning an enemy by shooting them in their weak points

But at the same time it also has old-school tank controls. They're snappier than in the classic games, but this still means you can't freely outmaneuver your enemies, creating tension that way

You also can't move while aiming, just like in the older games. You are pinned to the spot while trying to aim for enemy weak points, putting you in a vulnerable position if other enemies were to flank you in the meantime. While the aiming itself is precise, Leon's hands slightly tremble, forcing you to be careful, throwing you into a potential panic should you find yourself surrounded by enemies on all sides and you don't have the nerve to properly steady yourself. You are also completely immobile while reloading weapons. In the older games you could do this from the pause menu but here it HAS to be during gameplay and it may take a second or to, forcing you to be mindful of when and where you reload during a conflict. Weapons like the shotgun even have noticeable wind up after each shot which, again, anchors you to the spot for a second each time, putting you at risk of getting hit. Leon can die pretty easily here, a single hit can fell over half of your healthbar. You have healing items of course, but you nevertheless need to be careful

The over the shoulder camera may be criticized by older fans....but if you think about it it serves a very similar purpose to the old fixed camera angles: those obscured your view creating a sense of dread due to not knowing if you were gonna run into a zombie when passing the next camera angle.

While the over the shoulder camera is not as cinematic as the old one, people seem to forget that, unlike most other games inspired by RE4, you can't freely move this camera, only slightly pan it to the sides, otherwise you can only see what is strictly ahead of you. If you want to see what's behind you you have to turn around, which takes a second, a second that enemies may use to hit you during the animation. This is all 100% purposeful, as it creates very obvious blind spots for you that you have to be mindful of and that help create this overall sense of tension and paranoia

People say that RE4 is not scary, tense at most. I argue that fear is a very subjective thing that varies on the person. My first few playthroughs of RE4 gave me very similar feelings to my first times playing RE1-2-3. In those games I was afraid of all the zombies that I couldn't directly see because of the camera, with each encounter being tense due to tank controls and limited resources. In RE4 I was paranoid that at any second the game might spring yet another trap at me and flood a room with enemies, enemies that I couldn't always keep track of as they'd often surround me, coming from my blindspots, each encounter being tense because of needing to stop for a few seconds in the middle of a fight to take aim and fire, which is a risk because enemies can and will try to attack you from all directions as you're doing this.

Now of course nowadays RE4 is mostly no longer scary to me. But that's mostly because I've played this game about 20 times and I've grown accustomed to all of its tricks. Similarily Nemesis in OG RE3 was scary the first few times, but now I know how to take him on, that's normal. The only RE games that keep being scary to me even now are the OG RE1 and its Remake, mostly due to the whole haunted Mansion setup being inherently creepier to me and because they're far harder games than the rest I think

Perhaps no other section in the game makes any of this clearer than the dreaded Cabin Section at the end of this Chapter

Leon and Luis (Ashley thankfully locks herself in a closet so you don't have to worry about her for once) against an infinite horde of Ganados as they storm the tiny cabin, coming from all sides. There's barely any space to maneuver yourself, they keep coming without stopping, your ammo dwindles little by little. You will panic, you won't know exactly what to do, you'll screw up as you're being mercilessly overwhelmed from all sides, you'll dread ever having to redo this part....yet I can't absolutely say it's badly designed. They will only give up after a while, after which you'll finally breathe a sigh of relief as the danger is finally over...for now

Peak Resident Evil 4

Also Luis does this if you shoot him too many times

[renaissanceofthearts]

NEO-JAPAN 3.0.

THIS IS THE UNDERBELLY OF THE NEO-CITY. THERE'S SMOKE, POLLUTION, CRIME AND ALL THE SORT OF THINGS YOU'D WANT TO AVOID, WHEN IT COMES TO EVERY DAY LIFE. THERE IS ALL SORTS OF ISSUES AND INNER-CITY BATTLES AND CONFRONTATION.

LIKE THESE GUYS - "TOWER BUSTERS."

THE "TOWER BUSTERS" ARE ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT. AS YOU CAN SEE HERE, THEY JUST GOT DONE WITH BLOWING THE SHIT OUT OF THIS TOWER. THEY'ER NOT WHAT YOU'D CALL THE REVOLUTION, BUT LIKE THINGS 'THE WAY IT USE TO BE.' SOME OF THESE PEOPLE HATE THE ESTABLISHED ORDER CAUSE THEY'VE BEEN TESTED ON. THESE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SUBJECT TO TESTING WITHOUT CONSENT.

SO THEY TAKE OUT THEIR UNTAMED FRUSTRATION ON THE LOCAL TOWERS.

"LOWER CITY TOWERS" PEOPLE THROW PARTIES WHEN THEY SEE THIS HAPPEN!!

THE "ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT" -

MANY OF THEM WHERE HELD AGAINST THEIR WILL, CHANGED/ALTERED. SOMETIMES WHEN THE "TESTER" AND UNDERGROUND DEVELOPERS WANT TO TEST A NEW ITEM OR ALTERATION PART, THEY KIDNAPPED PEOPLE AND TEST THE NEW PARTS ON THE NEW PARTS ON THE PERSON TAKEN. TO SEE IT'S ABLTY TO FUNCTION WITH OUT HAVING TO TEST IT ON THEMSELVES OR DEAL WITH THE NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES.

[NEO-CITY DEVELOPERS]

"THE FRANKENSTEINS"

YOU CAN FIND SOME OF THESE UNDERGROUND WORK SHOPS HIDDEN IN PLAN SIGHT.

LIKE THIS RESTAURANT HERE. - YOU CAN GET WHAT EVER YOU WANT FROM "FAST ROBO-WOMAN" TO YOUR TOE NAILS CLEANED, AND EVEN SKIN PIGMENTATION.

APPARENTLY THEY COMPARTMENTALIZE PART OF THERE BRAINS TO COMMUNICATE TO MULTIPLE PEOPLE AT ONCE. WHILE PREFORMING THINGS, LETS JUST SAY "THINGS YOU WOULDN'T TALK TO YOUR MOTHER ABOUT DURING DINNER."]

"ROBO-GIRLS"

THEY'RE THE ULTIMATE "MUIT-TASKERS." THEY PREFORM "PLAYFUL MANEUVERS," ON CUSTOMERS, WHILE "ON THE LINE" TALKING TO MULTIPLE MEN AND WOMAN AT THE SAME TIME.]

YOU GOT TO BE CAREFUL THEY MIGHT ROBO- HACK YOUR ACCOUNTS AND YOU WONT BE LEAVING WITH A EMPTY "GRAND BAG" BUT AN EMPTY WALLET, IF YOUR NOT CAREFUL... ANYWAY, LETS GET IN FOCUS....

IM ALSO ONE OF THESE PEOPLE. WHO'VE BEEN TESTED ON BUT INSTEAD OF FIGHTING, I LET THEM ALTER ME, OF COURSE AT A HIGH PRICE, SOMETIMES THEY EVEN GVE ME AFTER MARKET PARTS, AFTER ITS BEEN PERFECTED. I GOT IN GOOD WITH THEM AFTER DOING SOME FAVORS SO THEY PAY ME INSTEAD OF KIDNAP ME.

WHICH IS A BIG PLUS, GETTING ON THEIR GOOD SIDE, THEY HELP YOU OUT WHEN PARTS WEAR OUT AND GETTING CHEAP UPGRADES AND REPAIRS SAVES A LOT OF ZENI IN THE LONG RUN.

MOST PEOPLE CAN'T AFFORDED TO THROW OUT THERE TRASH PROPERLY IN THE WORST PART OF "LOWER CITY." SO YOU MIGHT SEE SECTIONS OF THE CITY LOOK LIKE THIS AND MOST PEOPLE JUST STOP COMING OUTSIDE.

TILL THEY HAVE SOME OF THE CLEAN UP CREWS COME ALONG...

'THE WALKING INFERNO"

THESE PUPPIES PICK UP ALL THE LEFT OVER WASTE THATS IN THE STREETS, INCINERATES IT AND TURNS INTO FUEL, DON'T ASK ME HOW THATS DONE. APPARENTLY THE DEVELOPERS GOT IT FROM SOME MOIVE MADE IN THE ACCENT TIMES. "INTO THE FUTURE, OR WAS IT "BACK TO THE FUTRUE? THEY DON'T LET OFF ANY POLLUTION SO MOSTLY EVERYONE TOLERATES THEM.

THE ONE THING YOU DEFINITELY NEED TO LOOKS OUT FOR THE NEO-PUNKS, BRASH TEENAGERS WITH TOO MANY HORMONES AND WAY TOO MUCH ANGER TO DEAL WITH FOR TOO LONG.

THEIR BRIANS ARNT FULLY DEVELOPED BUT THEY HAVE CHIPS ON THEIR SHOULDERS LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIVE. THEY'RE THE SUB-GROUP TO "THE ANIT- ESTABLISHMENT." THEY'VE EVERYTHING TO PROVE, WITHOUT THE EXPERIENCE TO BACK IT. BUT SURE ARE MEAN AND SLIGHTLY OFF, IF YOU CATCH MY DRIFT..

SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO HAVE EYES BEHIND YOUR BACK, OR JUST GET A NECK AUGMENTATION WHERE TURNING YOUR NECK 180 DEGREES, ISN'T AN ISSUE..

THIS IS JUST AN INTRO TO LOWER CITY, BUT THERE IS MORE TO COME, WE STILL NEED TO HEAD OUT TO THE OUTSKIRTS AND THEN, "THE HIGHER NEO CITY."

I TOOK OUT SOME OF THE LETTER JUST IN CASE OF COPY RIGHT INFRINGEMENT, BUT WHO AM I KIDDING THESE ACTER/ SCREEN WRITERS ARE BIGGER THEVES THEN THE NEO-PUNK SUB-GROUPS...

I HOPE YOU LIKED MY INTRO TO LOWER NEO-CITY!!

NEO-JAPAN 3.0. END....

THANKS FOR READING. I HOPE YOU LIKED IT!!

[every-dayiwakeup]

Hard of Hearing HC

Author's Note: This is based in part off of my experiences as someone with hearing loss, and I haven't seen many hoh! Billy Hargrove hcs so here goes 😜

****

Billy didn't know he was hard of hearing until he reached middle school. Neil thought he had been "disobedient" on purpose, but Billy couldn't always hear what his father was yelling at him.

Billy taught himself to read lips because Neil refused to believe he wasn't making excuses for his poor grades or giving Neil his undivided attention. Needless to say, hearing aids weren't an option, so Billy learned to deal with it.

He didn't mind not hearing his father's threats and orders, but he got embarrassed when he couldn't hear his teacher or his friends.

After his mother left, there wasn't much Billy wanted to hear. He missed her voice when she sang to him.

Since his hearing loss is mostly in his right ear, his left ear compensates. He just has to remember to tilt his head ever so slightly to the left so there's less of a chance for him to be caught by surprise.

Neil makes sure to yell extra loudly to bother him and smacked the right side of his face, asking him if he could hear the sound of palm against cheek.

He's very sensitive to noises, but he likes to turn up his car radio to the max so he can feel the vibrations, annoy Max, and it drowns out the world around him.

He sometimes can't hear himself, so he has to raise his voice, which can get on people's nerves. He gets frustrated because there are times when he hears himself just fine, but others can't hear him.

Max puts two and two together and gets sign language books from the library. They go over it in the Camaro. Billy learns curse words first.

When Billy starts seeing Steve, he's overwhelmed by how accommodating and loving he is. Steve doesn't baby him, and Billy appreciates that.

Steve is patient, and he learns ASL just to communicate with Billy. The three have a field day gossiping about people, and the best part is, that no one (but Nancy) understands what they're doing.

Billy wants to hear Steve's voice clearly, and when he finally gets hearing aids, that's when Steve asks for his hand in marriage.

Billy makes a face when he really hears himself at first. He's not entirely fond of it, but it takes some time to get used to. Steve tells Billy that his voice is Steve's favorite sound, and that shuts Billy up (temporarily)

Billy talks more when he adjusts to the hearing aids.

Going from limited hearing to now hearing everything can be overwhelming. Sometimes his ears get sore, and so does his head. Steve massages his ears and temples.

Billy has to keep his hair up so his curls don't get tangled in them. If he gets pouty, Steve does his hair, and Max takes advantage of the situation by adding some sparkly clips.

Billy can't cover his big ears with his hair anymore, and he thinks they look stupid. Plus they turn red when he blushes, and that kind of fucks with his image. He can't bring himself to bitch much, though. The hearts in Steve's eyes seem to double in size every time the brunette looks at him, and how can Billy argue with that?

Billy names his hearing aids "Mad Max" because they're red like Max's hair.

Steve keeps batteries for Mad Max in his fanny pack, along with wax traps and domes.

Steve spoils Billy with hearing aids that match his outfits, and as per Billy's request, new earrings.

When Steve talks too much, Billy simply plucks his aids out of his ears or just takes out the right one.

NsFw (it's pretty tame imo)

Billy can now hear every one of Steve's lovely moans and grunts

++++++

Tags:

@suspiciouslackofclowns @geormenia @emeraldwitches @jaethecreator @shawgrove @wixterirox @polaris-ursae @phishyie @shipworm @spaceboxkitty @talesfrom-theupsidedown @flayedintheusa @harringroveho @harringroveheart @harringrovetrashh @justan-0-t-h-3-r

[dinosaurtsukki]

fukuzawa, mori, and fyodor seeing their independent f/s!o crying for the first time

@aida690adriana: Hello. Can I ask for headcannons for Fukuzawa Yukichi, Mori Ogai, Fyodor Dostoyevsky (separately) and their strong and independent fem!s/o, who cried for the first time in his memory? S/o started crying from some trifle (for example, a waiter in a cafe was rude to her). This incident was the last straw, before that she always suppressed tears and did not allow herself to cry, so that she would not be considered weak. Please.

a/n: ooooh ngl this is a bit of a challenging one for me but i have been meaning to write for both fukuzawa and mori, and ofc fyodor is one of my faves so lets go!!

he has always been impressed by your independence and ability to take care of yourself

he's a busy man and as much as he would like to have the time to take care of you more, sadly his work doesn't allow it

although he admires your ability to hold your own, he sometimes worries that you don't truly feel free about expressing your emotions but he's not quite sure about breaching the topic with you yet

fukuzawa used to be apprehensive about you working with him in the ADA but you were just amazing at talking and negotiating with clients that he found your services valuable in the end

a lot of the ADA members look up to you and ask you for help sometimes so you have that reputation

but because of that, you would often pressure yourself to keep up such appearances because you're scared of letting your partner and the other ADA members down

it just so happened that you were having an extremely stressful work day since most of the ADA members were on a mission and you had to take on a lot of clients

one in particular was giving you a hard time and challenging your expertise, asking repeatedly to talk to fukuzawa even though he was out

you were in desperate need of a breather afterwards so you locked yourself in the supply closet out of fear of anyone seeing you cry

the agency office was basically empty at the end of the day but fukuzawa actually came back to fetch something from his office and he couldn't mistake the sounds of you crying in the supply closet

you practically jumped when he opened the door and fukuzawa was just as surprised as you are

the two of you were staring at each other for a bit before he asks "wouldn't you rather stay in my office?"

he knows you don't quite want to talk about things yet so he'll clear the couch in the room for you, set a box of tissues on the coffee table, and busy himself with making tea

and then when you start talking and apologizing about crying in the supply closet he's honestly surprised

fukuzawa would definitely be sweet and reassuring with you and say that even though he's amazed by your independence he doesn't want you to force yourself to be that all the time

"i know that the ADA work is very stressful so feel free to use my office to take a breather anytime"

during work, he sometimes takes the time to check in on you and even makes you coffee in the morning and afternoon

one of the things mori always loved about you was your independence and ability to stand up for yourself. you were rarely shaken by other people

he was always impressed watching you handle things by yourself whenever the two of you were dealing with other organization heads in yokohama

you did know what you were getting into when you got into a relationship with the boss of the port mafia so you didn't want to be someone who'd weigh him down

and that's why you also tried to be useful with mori's work

whenever you had a meeting or an event to attend, you'd have to go to the bathroom to take time and collect yourself before engaging with people

mori prides himself at being good at reading people's feelings and he definitely notices this from you

he's not the type to push things unless you initiate them. but sometimes he finds time to usher you away so you have time to breathe

whenever you and mori go to events you always encounter a rude guest or two who'd question your place by the port mafia boss's side

usually you're able to argue with them until they're unable to speak but you're exhausted by the night you've had and the rude guest is just picking you apart

finally, you just can't take it from them anymore and rush to the bathroom

mori, of course, notices your absence decides to wait for you outside while you're trying to fix yourself and make it look like you weren't crying

your eyes are still red when you decide to leave the bathroom and of course you're shocked to see mori out there

he doesn't miss the look on your face and quickly asks about what happened

you're a bit intimidated being so vulnerable in front of mori but he wraps an arm around your waist and takes you somewhere quieter where you reluctantly talk about what was bothering you

after you finish talking mori just gently puts his hands on your shoulders

"do you want me to take care of them for you?"

despite how dangerous his voice sounds you end up laughing at that and mori's kind of puzzled but relieved to see you feel slightly better

he reassures you with the fact that you don't have to involve yourself with mafia work and he won't love you any less for it UwU

you were always drawn to fyodor because of how easily he was able to read you and connect with your thoughts

it's something that you found useful in your relationship since you weren't used to openly communicating your thoughts or emotions and because of that you came off as more 'independent' to other people

when you're around him you actually find yourself relaxing a little because he has a good handle on what you're feeling or what you really want

he likes to assure you that he doesn't mind you being vulnerable around him or asking for help (that is if he's not busy with his usual work)

one of the downsides to being with fyodor though was that he was always busy and the two of you could only go on dates around once or twice a month

so whenever he invited you for dinner it was always a big deal for you and you especially looked forward to them so you liked to spend a bit of time getting ready

it was no surprise when fyodor texted that he was going to be a bit late. you were used to it since he had stuff to do and you pulled up your phone or a book to pass the time while waiting at the table

you booked the reservation in advance anticipating this and you thought it was fine but then you noticed that one of the waiters would visit your table a bit too often

at first the questions sounded like concern 'are you alright? is there anything you'd like to order first?' but then they later became a bit more pushy

then they started making side comments about how your date maybe just ditched you and that you should go home already even though you knew very well fyodor was on his way

eventually, it became a bit much and their comments got to you so you started getting ready to leave while quietly blinking back tears when fyodor finally shows up

he's concerned when he sees your teary face which you quickly try to conceal but he strokes your hand gently to try to calm you down

immediately he suspects that it was because of something someone says and as much as he wants to hurt them, fyodor knows that you need the attention first

when you apologize for crying in front of him, he just blinks and says that you never have to apologize for doing that

he's not the best at comforting in general but he gently asks if you would rather order and eat at home with him instead

fyodor knows you missed him a lot (and he missed you but he's not gonna say that out loud yet) so he pays more attention to you for the rest of the night

he makes it a point now to arrive at dinner dates a bit earlier

▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂

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[mbti-enemies]

I saw the "most INFP being too nice" thing and I want to share an opinion that will probably make me look like an ass but I wanna say it whatsoever

(gonna give you some context/an example first to justify my argument)

I - an ENTP - went over to an INFP friend's house and we made a bet on this show we were watching, on the 3rd day I won the bet and she was sleeping when it happened, I got excited about it and went to wake her up, she said I could "take the money from her wallet and let her go back to sleep because she was tired", I kept insisting her to wake up, hitting her with a pillow, turning the lights on and off, messing up her hair, jumping on the bed, but it was all playful, at some point she raised her voice just slightly and asked me to "leave her alone for 10 minutes because she was tired" and I said "okay, do what you want then" and left a little annoyed, but nothing beyond

about 5 minutes later she came up to me with watering eyes to "aPoLogizE" for making me upset and not giving me the attention I wanted or some shit, said she couldn't go back to sleep after our ""argument""

I was so mad because that's what people mean when they say INFPs are manipulative, there's no way she was feeling that guilty about what happened, she probably just wanted to make a scene and make ME feel bad about it, they're not that sensitive, they just want to manipulate other people's feelings because that's how they act, they're not as good as you make them seem.

this whole drama is annoying as f, be honest it's not that big deal

(warning note i end up rambling and it goes off on a personal streak. sometimes when things go such the information i give might not be relevant so discard whatever is necessary. could i also request no one ask any personal questions related to whatever i write thank youuu)

hi infj here. nope nope you don't look like an ass dw ha i mean... idk i have so many things to say to this i mean.... where do i start....

to be honest? your description of infp reminds me of.... well, regretfully, myself... one of my worst traits. **laughs a lil dryly** and i can speak freely about it now intj knows this terrible part of me. your description of the situation reminds of... one fun time me and intj had. honestly i don't even remember what it was about except that i was being prick *gets lost in thought* oh actually never mind i remembered...

anyways.

mbti-wise i always chalked my manipulative sadness down to ni-fe.... it's the ni which plans and manipulates and the Fe which is attuned to others feelings... i can't really see how it would work in an infp (fi ne should be more direct) so maybe give them a check that they're not an infj.

i've also only really just started noticing and acknowledging that i do it... it's so hard sometimes to figure out why you're doing things (e.g being sad over something small) when you don't want to know the truth. and then the truth disappears from your head, the self-generated emotions become reality.... the mental-emotional world is so slippery. manipulation can happen subconsciously, at least for me (even in a positive way when you want to make someone happy or make yourself likeable when meeting someone new....)

from the situation, it seems to me infp must've felt a little bad for asking you to leave her alone... but then it got a little complicated in their head. with the complications the emotions just grew and got blown out of proportion....

small place where i must pick up on your words- you said "because that's how they act". i mean of course it's someone's own responsibility if they're being manipulative, but im not sure it's a 'just because' sort of thing. i like to think their are few people who would be manipulative and make someone feel bad just for the hell of it....

for me? for me it's generally due to a want for comfort. it's.... that's it. perhaps it's not even Ni-Fe driven but more childish, infantile, like when baby's cry in order to be held. it's..... not good. and so much worse than a baby obviously because i can use my words and push and pull someone else and manipulate them into giving me comfort. this manipulation is definitely Ni-Fe for me though. but anyways, and it's terrible. (sorry again about that time intj). it's worse when you're older because the emotions get more complicated and tiwsted and other things get pulled in to the mess (leading one to want the other person to feel bad and say twisted things like sorry for "not giving [you] the attention [you] wanted")

i wonder how things progressed in your little situ if you got visibly mad. dude getting mad is like the worst emotion to feel here not gonna lie i mean infp will just feel justified for their tears. intj got mad and i owned up and it was fine, but it's hard to see youself, hard to own up. if i hadn't owned up and kept feeling sorry for myself i don't know if it would've been fine.

small note to anyone else reading this far before continuing: i don't think sadness is always manipulative, i don't want anyone to feel like they can't feel their emotions. please, please, be kind to yourselves no matter what, be understanding.

anyways back to mbti to wrap up from my long personal ramble of thoughts. not totally sure that this thing ur describing is an infp thing. mine is connected to my infj functions pretty sure but perhaps not for your infp. still do think that out of types most likely to "be too nice" infp is quite high on the list, but being too nice ≠ never being hurtful and definitely does not equal not having flaws. niceness a blob in a system of personality traits, and it is by no means everything. perhaps, arguably, it's not even the same as kindness, which on the other hand, is something that goes much much further than just niceness does.

[plokoonsdisapprovingeyebrows]

Ratchet for the characterisation meme 👀

Ratchet my beloved! Again, this is TFP Ratchet specifically because the TFP versions of characters are basically always going to be the Default Version in my head. XD Also I’m very sorry this got lost in my drafts skjhdj

1. Ratchet is an empathetic bleeding-heart sort of person who's been bled dry, so to speak, by the stress and heartbreak of the war. He's not totally burnt out on caring, as evidenced by his canon relationships, but his occasional moments of callousness (or worse) strike me as someone who knows instinctively that caring is going to get him hurt. And he can't stop himself from caring, but he can, maybe, limit the number of people he cares for specifically... that's the source of like at least 50% of his prickliness, lol. Not that it always works... [looks @ raf]

2. Optimus is straight up the most important relationship Ratchet has. They're friends from way back, but also Optimus is fairly obviously his major source of stability and hope. Ratchet says it explicitly in Predacons Rising -- "I didn't return to save a life, only to lose the one I care for most!" -- but I think it's visible long before then. (I personally think it’s reciprocated as well, but Optimus is so much less forthcoming with his emotional experiences i feel it’s more open to interpretation on that account lol.)

3. He's an idealist - more so than any of the other Autobots, I think; it’s just sometimes hard to see because fighting the Decepticons is part of his Ideals. I think he has a tendency to see situations in slightly more stark blank-and-white morality than they actually are, which feeds into the idealism - and he’s more certain of his conclusions than, say, Optimus is. Not so comfy dealing with complexities of nuance, is Ratchet. XD

4. He’s a problem-solver, but not a particularly imaginative one? He has a really big mental toolbox, I think, but he doesn’t tend to consider more out-of-the box solutions until someone else suggests them. He likes order, and reliable solutions to problems, and this doesn’t always jive well with the off-the-wall problems the show sometimes throws his way.

[goji-pilled]

Okay @princekirijo you want an essay? Well here it is now, or as I like to call it Felix's "Asumari is great and this fandom has no fucking taste" rambling and infodump. Congrats fellas, thanks to Prince you ALL get an asumari essay. But before that I'll try to give you a rundown of Mari and Asuka. 

(I'm also so sorry for putting this long ass post on everyone's dashboard)

(Spoiler warning for Evangelion 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time!!)

Alright on one hand we have Mari Illustrious Makinami. Her whole deal? She's a walking ray of sunshine, literally lol. Unlike any other character in the Evangelion franchise she doesn't suffer from her trauma, she's quite literally the only healthy and functioning human being, she's just slightly leaning towards "batshit crazy" with the stunts she pulls 🤷‍♂️. Other than that she just loves living, she loves being with people, she keeps moving forward, stays positive and decides to live life to it's fullest even after she experiences loss and multiple apocalyptic events (Second Impact, Third Impact, etc.) and she really just embodies the joy of living. That's all there is to her, or at least all we know.

On the other hand, we have Asuka Langley Shikinami who is... well it's hard to explain what she is to be honest. She's part-German and part-Japanese and part of a line of clones specifically made with the purpose to pilot an Evangelion and later on be used as a sacrifice to trigger another Impact (ITS COMPLICATED I KNOW-) Asuka is, unlike Mari, very much suffering from her trauma. She doesn't have her parents and has a very deep seated belief that she's completely alone, which she says doesn't matter as long as she can pilot the Eva. She also very much wants to fight and kill angels all by herself, and it's seriously messing with her when she can't achieve that.

Now we get to the more interesting parts (hopefully this so far wasn't too confusing, then again it's Eva and even I can't fully wrap my head around it all LMAO)

In the second Rebuild movie (Evangelion 2.0 You can (not) advance) we get introduced to both of them, Mari's introduction scene (in the original English dub) has her pilot an Eva and singing about how she'll take the world on by herself, while in the third movie's (Evangelion 3.0 You can (not) redo) opening scene she's piloting the Eva again but this time it's together with Asuka (in her own Unit 02 though) and during that Mari sings about how wonderful it is not to be alone. It's nothing big yet, but it's a really cute detail me thinks,,, you know what else I love about them? They bicker and they banter and it's genuinely so fun to listen to shskdhsuwj

(For a quick catch up: During the end of 2.0 Shinji (the protagonist) triggers another apocalyptic event, the Near Third Impact, and was only stopped due to Kaworu (the guy in my pfp) stepping in. Also between 1.0/2.0 and 3.0/3.0+1.0 are about 14 years (without Shinji bc he's like comatose) where A LOT happens AND we learn in 3.0 that Eva pilots don't age physically bc of "The curse of the Eva"... honestly Eva is wild lmao)

Okay okay I'll get back to it!

So one thing that happens is that Asuka during 2.0 develops a crush on Shinji (girl why-), unfortunately things take a turn for the worse. Asuka had volunteered to be the testpilot for a new Eva (Unit 03), she seemed happy at the time and it was a really sweet build up with the "I can smile, I didn't know I could still do that."-line. And then? Then it turns out the Ninth Angel had infected Unit 03 (Angels are basically the Kaijus they fight using Evas btw). The thing goes on a loose and Shinji is forced to fight it (With Asuka inside mind you), he refuses and his father uses an autopilot to destroy Unit 03. And boy did it destroy the angel, well it and it crushed Asuka between its jaws (you can actually hear her scream btw haha pain :)).

Asuka survived though, but the whole incident cost her her humanity and she ended up becoming an angel herself/she took the place of the Ninth. But despite that, there's one person who keeps believing in Asuka's humanity, who fiercely believes Asuka is still a human and tells her as much.

Yep, that one person is Mari and she keeps holding onto that belief until the very end when Asuka uses her last resort, which is using the power of an angel (Doing so was a guaranteed death sentence btw). Mari's own words (in the German dub) were, "Princess, you're giving up being human…" AND IT MAKES ME SO EMO GOD FUCK

While I'm at it, Mari and Asuka are a fucking killer combo as a team. They rely on each other for support in combat, listen to the other's orders and advice. Especially in Asuka's case it's kind of a big deal that she so openly relies and counts on Mari's support. Like these two trust each other with their damn lifes!!! Holy shit!!

Guess what though, they also have nicknames for eachother. Mari always calls Asuka "Princess" or "(Your) Highness" while Asuka calles Mari "Four-eyes" / "Four-eyed chrony (idk how you spell that tbh RIP" Even better though, in the German dub Asuka calls Mari "Brillerella" as in a combination of "Brille" (German for glasses) and "Cinderella",,,,Cinderella and her Prince,,,Brillerella and her Princess,,, man, that was a gay fucking move of the translation team. Spoiler: I owe them my life.

Funfact: There's exactly two times throughout the Rebuild movies where Mari uses Asuka's actual name. These two times being when she watches Asuka "die" and be used as a sacrifice for Gendo's selfish plan and when later on she begs Shinji, "So please the Princess… Asuka needs your help!" And the best part? That wasn't even the first time she did that. The mentioned line came from 3.0+1.0, but she did that too in 3.0 with the, "At least save the Princess!" line (although her tone was much more...pissed, like she was really angry lol)

Remember the crush Asuka had on Shinji? Well due to the Unit 03 incident a whole lot of other shit got mixed into that and her feelings for him in general became really bitter (understandably so). Now Mari being who she is sometimes teases Asuka about said old crush but she really does want Asuka to get closure and sort that mess out. 

As an example for the teasing, in 3.0 there's a scene that goes like this (please imagine Mari with a literal :3 face while saying that):

"Unit! Are you back in the game?"

"I'm on it, your Highness. But first things first, how was our little puppy (Shinji)? Did he sit like a good little boy?"

"He's exactly the same! Same stupid face talking mayhem!"

"That goofy face of his, that's what you wanted to see? Riiiiight?"

"Shut up! I went there to bat him one!... And I feel better!"

There's also a very short bonus manga that was released in Japan for Thrice Upon a Time's release that has Mari trying to convince Asuka to come with her on the mission to get Shinji, given everything that follows, it's just another thing to prove my point. And the final bit relating to that is this:

"Feeling better now?"

"Yeah, I do feel better."

That's the exchange Asuka and Mari have after they talked to Shinji, it's nothing special but I think it's really sweet and this time Asuka actually sounded like she was feeling better instead of when she was screaming after she nearly broke pretty thick glass with her fist (If she had hit someone with that much force she definitely would've broken something omggg #violentimpulsesgang)

To get back on track though: I already mentioned it but during the second half of 3.0+1.0 Asuka "dies" (and honestly that entire scene is worth its own in-depth post because its just one huge parallel to The End of Evangelion), the point is: You can tell that the loss of Asuka honestly hits Mari hard. Not only because of how Mari screams Asuka's name but also because of her expressions. They're pained, like really fucking pained and Mari even apologizes to her that she has to fall back due to the fact that she's injured AND because eveything is going wrong.

After the events of Evangelion 3.0 these two got seperated from eachother, Mari was with WILLE (the organization both of them are with) and on board of Wunder (the ship WILLE basically operates from) while Asuka was in a Village full of (Near) Third Impact Survivors. When they do meet again it went like this:

Asuka, barely back, comes to the door and calls, "I'm back." And within seconds of Asuka stepping into their room after the door opens Mari already runs towards her, arms wide open and she says, "Welcome back, your Highness! Good job. I missed you so much!" And she says that while she literally nuzzles into Asuka,,,like,,,what the fuck gay people real!!! 

Best part? Asuka clearly has enough strength to push Mari completely away if she were uncomfortable, but she doesn't. Asuka merely wanted enough space to look at the room (because Mari managed to horde even more books lol) and play her game. During their entire renunion Mari keeps hugging her, and part of me thinks that perhaps deep down Asuka actually enjoys the feeling of physical affection.

Before we get to the last point though, let me say that Asuka and Mari have scenes in 3.0+1.0 that parallel Shinji and Kaworu's from 3.0. (Fyi Kaworu loves Shinji (yeah, like that, and 3.0 was basically them being gay as fuck for an hour) so like...do I even need to explain? 

And then of course there's also this, the "Take care of yourself, Princess…" line. That is the last time Mari talks to Asuka and as much as that line alone already is so much, it's Mari's expression in particular that kills me. Because this? This soft, almost bittersweet expression she has, as she basically says goodbye? Because she knows Asuka will finally be happy and safe? It just makes me feel so much actually. Man.

In the end it's a fact that Mari loved Asuka, wether that is interpreted as platonic or romantic by someone is up to them. But it is a fact that Asuka was loved enough that someone wanted to hug her, was happy to see her, to praise her, was hurt by her loss, wanted her to be safe, that someone told her "Take care of yourself…" Asuka was really and honestly so loved that someone would tell her, "I missed you."

But Asuka? Asuka was too hurt, too wrapped up in her own head to actually see how loved she was by Mari (and other people) that she genuinely believed she's completely alone and always will be alone.

It makes the "Take care of yourself" line hit even harder to me, because it's not only Mari's goodbye, but it's a goodbye during the one time Asuka allowed herself to be vulnerable and admit what she really wanted.

And honestly? All of this? Its makes me feel so many things and I just love them  so much man.

[intheseautumnhands]

■ ▼ ◉ — Egbert!

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon Egbert can and will sleep anywhere, and it's not unheard of, when they've had downtime on the ship or at Necropolis-on-Sea especially, to find him sleeping in weird places, curled up on whatever comfortable material he can find.

But in his main sleeping space when he has a bedroom, his bed is absolutely piled with pillow and blankets, that he just kind of nestles himself into until he's surrounded. There have to be pillows and blankets for cuddling. (although Seal Gaiman also sometimes takes that space when the seal's willing to.) And on both sides, in case he turns over! (He does not turn over, he's a pretty heavy sleeper, he just likes having it molded against his back.) Pillows to prop up his tail on, and then some extras just in case. So many pillows and blankets, when he can get away with it.

▼ - childhood headcanon The Order were tiny Egbert's idols before he got a chance to join them. Which is not all that rare is Mistmire, they're a pretty big deal and pretty well-regarded, but he was so impressed by them, and first getting the chance to join was a literal childhood dream come true. (Which was cheering in a time he desperately needed it, because it's also my headcanon that Egbert's parents died shortly before the Order decided to consider him as an initiate.)

◉ - Any other question of your choosing Friendship headcanon: of all of them, Egbert's probably had the most good and steady friendships before the Oxventurers. (Dob made many friends, but also tended to move on a lot, so they're not exactly steady friendships. The others were more inclined to keep to themselves. Unless you count all the forest creatures Merilwen met.) Besides childhood buddies, until he got kicked out he had quite a few friends in the Order -- mostly young and low on the group's rungs, who were initiated at the same time as him, or only slightly before or after. Some of them are even still fond of him despite everything, though none of those people have advanced particularly high at this point.