#sometimes support doesn't always have to come in the form of someone not mentioning anything about the fact that you dropped out of

[dawnthefox24]

My Overwatch Headcanons Part 2 DPS addition

(These are my headcanons please respect them ^^)

Ashe/Elizabeth Caledonia Ashe

Wishes that her parents would have at least noticed her but knows you can't always get what you wish.

Hate's Cole with a passion since he betrayed her and the rest of the gang but won't admit that she does miss him from time to time.

She considers B.O.B as a father figure too her and will do anything to protect him at any cost.

Is an arsonist.

Has called B.O.B the wrong name a few times before.

Wonders where her hover bike is and really wants to know what happened to it even though Cass won't tell her.

Always wondered if Cole really sacrificed himself to protect the gang or it was all just a ruse to leave them for good.

Hate's it when her plans get foiled mainly by Cassidy since they keep crossing paths with one another.

She wonders why Lifeweaver doesn't want his parents support since their making sure he doesn't end up like her.

Is very jealous of Lifeweaver but understands where he's coming from but give's him a heads up in case his parents do drop him or at least forget about him.

Needs to start a competition on who's the better shot since she has a huge ego.

Has wondered if her parents think about her or at least missed her.

Is very impressed by Echo and wished Cole didn't get in the way with the "cargo"

Hate's saying her full name and hates being called Eliza or Liz since those were nicknames her parents gave her.

Is a bit of a narcissist.

Get's annoyed when people mentioned if she had a crush on Cole to which she punches them hard before saying no.(she won't mention that she saw him as a sibling)

Wishes she never met Cole but without him they would have never form the deadlock gang.

Knows she supposed to be focusing on heists but she needs to get rid of a certain pest ignoring the gangs pleas to leave Cole alone.

Really take's her threats seriously and always keeps her word.

She sometimes has to be reminded to sleep since she usually is busy planning a heist and it's usually B.O.B or Frankie who has to remind her to rest( It used to be Cassidy when he used to be part of the gang)

Always vents too B.O.B about her problems and is very grateful that he listens too her

Her favourite food used to be apple pie but now it not anymore

Likes her coffee with a small dash of milk and sugar in it, she can drink it plain once in awhile but she needs some flavour in it.

Symmetra/Satya Vaswani

Realised she was autistic when she actually had trouble reading a few social ques.

When Niran left the academy she really did miss him but won't admit it to him since she finds it to embarrassing.

Will forever be grateful that Niran was her very first friend and she appreciates it since she never really had any friends before till she met him.

Doesn't understand why people hate Vishkar since she thinks what they're doing is right, but is slowly starting to think they might have point.

Is very socially awkward but is trying her best to be a bit more out going.

She likes listening to Lucio music since it keeps her very calm but feels very awkward around him since she has a feeling that he doesn't like her too much.

Always worries for Niran and doesn't want him ending up hurt even though he has no regards for the rules it scares her that she might see him hurt or worse.

Misses playing with Niran hair from time to time since it was really relaxing for her mainly she enjoyed doing a few hairstyles for him.

Her favourite tea is Jasmine tea.

The first time she met Baptiste she was already threatening him, since she doesn't want to see Niran heartbroken.

Doesn't like to talk about how she grew up in poverty.

She finds Zenyatta as her own teacher though she does get a bit jealous of Genji since she doesn't understand how Zenyatta can deal with someone like him.

The only two people she truly trusts are just Niran and Zenyatta since they seem to understand her in some ways.

She finds gardening peaceful and calms her nerves as well, she also found out that she has a good green thumb as well(Which makes Niran happy )

Really wants to be friends with Lucio but doesn't know how too since he seems a bit hostile towards her.

She actually taught Niran how to kathak and was impressed that he was practicing how to dance with her .

Has her own little routine on what she needs to do.

Always has to reminded Niran to slow down even till this very day.

She see's Niran as a brother too her and to her he's the little brother who always gets in trouble.

She enjoys spending time with Niran and surprisingly Hanzo as well for some tea time together.

Whenever she gets too stressed out she starts dancing to calm her nerves since she feels move free when dancing as there is peace too it.

She misses eating Niran's pumpkin coconut soup, so when they reunited again she asked him to make it very bluntly to which he did.

She tends to get lost in thought once in awhile as her mind tends to go somewhere else.

Is visual and hands on learner since she doesn't understand when people tell her something it becomes very complicated too her.

She enjoys spending time alone since relaxing for her.

Sombra/Oliva Colomar

Knows that Talon shouldn't have trusted her from the start but she stays for only Sigma since she doesn't want him ending up getting hurt.

She and Cassidy are like siblings to one another though she hates the fact that she doesn't know so much about him but so far his internet search history makes her chuckle.

Knows that Moira carries band-aids.

Always makes sure the Sigma is getting treated well since she cares about him.

Even though she enjoys hacking it could be sometimes boring too her since its the usual speal she finds on the daily bases.

She understands where Illari is coming from but is worried that if she finds something it might crush the poor girl and she doesn't want that happening too her.

Knows the Mauga really wants Baptiste back but always erases where he's at in case Mauga does look him up.

She's happy that Baptiste left Talon for the greater good since is 100% right as Mauga does bring out the worse in him.

Her and Cole tend to spend time together and catch up on a few things but will leave little remarks about his past only to be shut down real quick by it.

Enjoys changing people's passwords if their asshole's too her or to her friends.

Doesn't like the experiments that Moira is doing on Sigma since they're taking advantage of him for "games"

Enjoys sigma company and takes to him about things that upset him she also made a promise to herself not to leave him if things go south.

Has blackmailed a few people before but sometimes does it to get free stuff.

She became friends with Kiriko,Brigitte,D.va and Tracer though she won't admit it too them since there not really friends.

Knows about Frankie but finds it comical that she'll be the better hacker than her.

Loves to annoy Zarya from time to time getting a rise out of her.

She still closes door on Reaper since she finds it hilarious whenever he gets mad though she does wonder if he still misses his wife or something.

Her favourite food are Tamales

Her and Sigma tend to talk about space and birds as well. She tells him her favourite bird is the Social flycatcher since that bird reminds her of herself.

Has wondered if Omnics ever dream or if they even fall asleep. (She tried to hack Maximilien but of course she got in trouble before she could even do it)

Listen to people's playlist and will always change it to her own liking since "people have no taste in music"

Won't stop still she finds more information about Cole since she really loves a challenge and it's a challenge she won't stop till she completes it.

Torbjörn Lindholm

Worries for Brigitte 24/7 but is very proud of her and how far she accomplished her goal to where she got.

When he took in Bastion he was a little bit hesitant at first but in the end things turned out great of the both of them and he feels sad that bastion is the last of his kind.(He adopted Bastion much to Ingrid dismay)

He loves his kids and his wife dearly but also his turrets those are his babies too

He keeps in contact with his others kids wondering how their doing and asking how his grandkids are doing as well.

There's a deep regret on what he did to Angela with her biotech as it turn into a biotech rifle ignoring her warnings.

He doesn't want to build Cole a robo horse since it takes time an energy but in reality, He's just lazy since he could built it but he doesn't really feel like and wishes that Cole would stop bothering him for a moment.

Tends to get stressed out when Rein and Brigitte tend to run in head first but he trust that his daughter will be okay.

The first time he saw Ganymede he wasn't so sure that the bird will be safe with Mitzi being around but so far they've never really interacted, though the chances are very high none the less so he's protecting Ganymede at any cost.

Is happy that Bastion is part of his family now but is a bit concerned since Rein is a little bit iffy with him taking in a bastion but none the less he seeing the progress between Bastion and rein bonding but is keeping a close eye on rein in case he does something.

Love's his Ingrid always and loves to speak of the time they first met too his grandkids much too Ingrid dismay but he knows she enjoys it.

Will always be thankful for Reinhardt saving him from certain death.

He does see Angela as a daughter but knows she won't even speak to him only when its needed since he can't fault her for that after all he did go behind her back.

He's very proud of Brigitte and though he knows he not suppose to have favourites Brigitte is his favourite child but so is Bastion but he won't say that out loud.

Bastion

He always happy helping out around the work shop with Torbjörn whenever he can

Is very happy the first time he met Ganymede and is still working on building his nest.

The first time he saw Rein he was terrified of him and still is.

Has to protect Ganymede from Mitzi from time too time since Mitzi has tried to eat Ganymede more than once and luckily enough either Brigitte or Torb always catch Mitzi or Ganymede flies away from the cat.

He really really likes Orisa but its a small crush.

He and Cole get along pretty well since he enjoys his company but noticed that almost everyone enjoys Cole's company which is very odd.

Knows that Sojourn doesn't understand what he's saying to her but appreciates the effort of her trying to understand what he's saying to her.

Enjoys the upgrades that Torb gives him and is very thankful for it.

Will die for Ganymede.

He and Ganymede are very inseparable he never leaves without Ganymede.

Is trying to find the right branches for Ganymede so he can rebuild his nest again.

The only people he likes are Cole, Brigitte and Torb plus Ganymede as well.

Wonders if he should either ask Zenyatta or Orisa to be his translator for Sojourn whenever he speaks too her. Since it seems she's the only one who is struggling with whatever he's saying.

Even though he doesn't eat or smell food but if he did have a favourite food it would be Ingrid apple pie.

He takes really good care of Torbs hat and wears it all the time since he finds comfort in it.

Sojourn/Vivian Chase

She doesn't have any regrets for when she spoke out against Overwatch she knew what she did was right.

Is very close with her sister and niece as she writes too them making sure that their alright.

Had to put Murphy on a diet since she kept eating all the left over scarps and knows that Murphy isn't too happy about it.

She loves cats but is allergic too them.

The people she is close too are Cole and Winston, since they seem more likely to understand her.

Loves croissants mainly buttered croissants.

Doesn't even regret getting her cybernetic enhancements since how ever could she turn down rocket legs making things go quicker for her.

Knows that Jack is pissed off at her for speaking out against Overwatch but find it very hypocritical of him since other agents spoke out too.

She has no idea how the others can understand Bastion except for Zenyatta and Orisia but thinks the others don't even know either since all he does he beeps and boops.

She actually did miss Winston and the others since she did tell them that.

Was surprised when Hanzo thought about adopting a dog though she might send him to a few shelters who are showing dogs who need to loved and taken care for in the future.

She fins it really weird on how much Genji as changed since she always remembered him being angry and well emo as well but none the less she's happy that he's gotten better.

The first time she got her rocket legs she slid into the wall not even knowing how too stop at first till she got the hang of it. Thought it would be easy but she was wrong.

She loves her niece dearly with all of her heart and always makes sure she stays safe for her. Her nieces words not hers.

Wanted to be a detective when she was younger but turns out she surpassed that goal of hers.

Will kill anyone for Murphy,harm her beloved Murphy you'll be 5 feet under.

Wants Jack to let go of the past for what she did but knows he's too stubborn to let anything go.

Was a barista part time but had to quit since too many people recognised her.

Still keeps in touch with agent Tremblay

Loves a nice hot cup of coffee everyone morning mainly a double double.

Knows what Cassidy meant when Jack is chasing ghosts

Amelie Lacroix/Widowmaker

Enjoys classical music as it keeps her calm.

Killing truly does make her feel alive since that's the only thing keeping her sane and not lose herself too madness.

She misses Gerard everyday and hates herself since she really loved him with all of her heart.

Used to be terrified of spiders but has grown a liking to them now.

Is very much terrified of Moira because of her experiments.

Is a wine connoisseur but prefers red wine but sometimes white wine is also good.

Always wondered how come Ana never took the shot too kill after she shot her eye out.

Doesn't like Tracer since she finds her a distraction but annoying as well.

Loves doing ballet since keeps her in more control of her body and mind.

Knows that Reyes made mistake for going to Moira for help.

Likes being isolated since she doesn't want to be around to many people.

Finds her teammates a bit incompetent.

Is always shivering in the dead of night do to how slow her heart is since she cannot keep herself warm.

Always visits Gerard gave and talks to him telling him what's she been doing staying there for awhile till the next morning heading back to Talon.

Doesn't like the fact that she sometimes has to go on missions with Sombra since she always asks her stupid questions.

Some what regrets killing Gerard.

Always wondered if things would have differently if she wasn't kidnapped and didn't end up kill Gerard.

Feels very calm when she has her rifle with her since it makes feel at ease, finding some comfort in it.

Doesn't like loud noises.

Always goes to her and Gerard favourite spots when he took her out on dates.

Her favourite food is wine but she also likes Salade de Chèvre Chaud (Goat Cheese Salad).

She likes liquored cherry chocolates but also salted caramel chocolates too.

Tracer/Lena Oxton

Loves her girlfriend Emily and plans on proposing to her very soon.

Has a deep regret for not saving Mondatta but more over she should have taken that bullet instead of him.

Her and Cole are very attached to the hip since she finds him as a good friend but also a brother too her since he always makes sure she doesn't get too caught in the mission.

Even though she bad at every type of video game she loves cooking games since she finds some calmness in it.

Hate's Widowmaker with a passion and enjoys messing her up since she finds it funny whenever she gets frustrated.

Is terrified with Orisa when she told her too run getting the message with how she catches criminals.

Has to be reminded to take things slow.

Always asks for nature tips from Lifeweaver because she had no idea what she's doing as she accidentally kills Emily plants more than once(She keeps buying new ones).

Her and Iggy spend time together but also gave Iggy one of Lucio signatures.

Plans on making Iggy maid of honor and Cole her best man.

Enjoy's Cole company since she really did miss him and was the first person to tackle hug him when they saw each other once again(she cried hugging him)

Has asks Cole is he knows that like at least 2 people have a crush on him and was confused when he said yes too her.

She won't lie the first time she sparred with Genji during his time when he was a Blackwatch agent he scared her to death but over all in the end there good friends with each other.

She and Winston are very close since she's gotten to know him more during her time in Overwatch but always the checks up with her Chronal accelerator.

Will forever be grateful that Winston made her accelerator.

Sometimes has a girls night with Angela, but sometimes Angela tends to be very busy so she goes to Kiriko,Brigitte and Hana.

When playing cooking games with her she tends to be very competitive and will get mad at the other play she's playing with telling them to mend their stations when cooking, they need to be on their side of the kitchen and she's on the other side( her Gordon Ramsay side always comes out).

She had a feeling that Fareeha was gay since she used to tease her about her crush with Angela, she still teases her about it to this very day.

Loves listening to the old vinyl music and still can't believe that there still around.

Love earl grey tea and always has it with scones cranberry lemon scones in fact.

Dreams about having a big family with Emily but mainly pets.

Really wants to know what Zenyatta did before the crisis but there's no straight answer with him also she's pretty much disappointed in Genji since even he doesn't know either.

She,Angela,Cole and Freeha always have a get together to catch on a few things and see what they've been doing.

Has tried to get Hanzo into D&D but he keeps refusing but she won't give up till he says yes.

Reaper/Gabriel Reyes

Is in consent pain to the point where he can't move his body too much.

Had a small crush on Jack and Martina knew about it.

He did see Cole as son to him.

Thinks that Jack is responsible for the way he turned out but also the fact the way Overwatch fell too the ground.

The only people who have seen his face are Ana and Moira.

He deeply misses Martina and his son but knows they won't even recognise him.

He still believe what he did was right by killing Antonio even know Cole was nagging at him through the whole way he still believes he did nothing wrong.

The pain killers do nothing for his consent pain but they somewhat work none the less but still a total dud in the end.

He should have killed Jack when he had the chance but wheres the fun in that but mainly he wants him to leave him alone.

To him Sombra some what reminds him of Cole but more annoying than ever.

He believes that Jack abandoned when in the explosion since he knows he could have saved him but didn't since he was on the brink of death.

He is somewhat grateful that Moira saved him but some part of him wishes that she didn't.

Has no ill will towards Ana but never liked that fact she's always taken Jack side than his since he thought they were friends.

Knows he has an anger problems but he doesn't even know how to fix it since thats the only thing he can feel besides the pain he's feeling.

He has wondered if Jack has ever saved him during the explosion maybe things would have turned out differently.

A part of him wished he should have retired a head of time and settled down with Martian and lived his life the way he wanted.

The only thing he doesn't regret was taking Cole in even though he used the deadlock gang as leverage against him.

He fully doesn't trust Sombra but knows that Talon needs her in the end.

He cannot taste food but he does miss Martina cooking since she made some amazing conchas.

100% misses Martina cooking.

The only people he scared of are Martina and Ana.

He always attracts cats for some reason but in the end he feeds them though he pretends to hate it.

Still enjoys sewing since he finds a calmness to it as it some what control his anger, its the only thing that keeps him calm.

Misses making everyone there Halloween costumes since he doesn't like the cheap crappy ones.

Cannot sleep during the night with depending on how bad the pain can be.

Hates dancing in front of others since he doesn't like being the center of attention.

He tries too control his anger but gets even more angrier when he cannot calm himself down.

Adopted a stray cat in secret and only Sombra knows because the cat reminds him of certain cowboy that he knows.

Genji Shimada

Will forever be grateful for Zenyatta and Angela for everything that they did for him.

He really wants Hanzo to get better but knows he can't push him since Zenytta had to reminded him of that.

Wants to explain to Kiriko what really happened to him but doesn't want her to hate Hanzo since in the end he's suffering enough already and also the fact it was his fault the Shimada clan crumbled.

He is ashamed of himself for what he did during his time in Blackwatch.

Doesn't like the fact that Moira pointed out the obvious of agreeing with her on what happened with Antonio since he was clouded my anger and revenge on his brother that he didn't care at the time.

Will forever be grateful that Cole was his friend during when they first met.

Thinks his brother and Cole have a crush on each other.

Has a crush on Angela but also a has crush on Zenyatta as well.

Still plays video games but doesn't play with D.va since she's likes to rub it in his face that she's the better gamer.

Is really concerned for Hanzo well being.

He really does see Cole as a brother though he knows he was an ass to during his days with Blackwatch.

Used too get nightmares of actually killing Hanzo, but now they just stopped.

Allowed Lucio to hook his music to his lights but found it very annoying but wanted to stop him from asking him so let him only do it once.

Doesn't like Ramattra since, Ram basically left Zenyatta.

The first time he sparred with Zenyatta, he would constantly lose too him because of how angry he was.

Feels very embarrassed by how much little control he had when he was angry to the point that Zenyatta had to teach him how reckless it was(Which is very much embarrassing)

Has regrets for all the things he did during his youth and also his time during Blackwatch.

Has to tell Kiriko he isn't the same person he was back in his youth anymore and that he's changed for the best.

Will spend time with Hanzo just to repair what bond they have left but knows that Hanzo won't even look at him for what he's done.

Thinks Fareeha has a crush on Angela.

He was worried that people wouldn't like his brother for what he did too him, but wasn't expecting Angela and Cole to be the first people to welcome him but mainly Angela(Since he explained how much Hanzo ruined his life with Cole).

He's happy that his brother made a few friends.(Mainly Mei,Brigitte and Illari)

Enjoyed playing D&D with Lena and asked his brother to play with them though his brother says he'll think about it.

Finds it very hypocritical of Jack accusing him and Cole for what happened during their time in Venice since he explained to him that his mind was clouded by anger.

He apologised to Lena the first time they sparred when he was in Blackwatch though she forgave him(even though he knows he scared her too death)

He has no idea why Symmetra is jealous of him whenever he spends time with Zenyatta.

Whenever stress he meditates.

He worries for Cole since it seems like he hiding something even though he told him he regrets what they did during their time in Blackwatch he did try his best to make good memories even though his memories contain him being broody.

Regrets giving Overwatch the green light to take out the shimada clan only for the Hashimoto to swoop in.

Hanzo Shimada

He wondered if things would have been differently if he didn't kill Genji and would have told him to leave.

Knows Kiriko hates him for leaving but he lost so much but knows she has every right to be mad him for leaving.

Can't bare to make eye contact with Genji but he's slowly trying.

Has a major sweet tooth for strawberry pastries.

Still thinks he doesn't deserve Genji's forgiveness for what he's done to him.

When he says he was better with a sword he really means it.

Gets PTSD and night terrors for slaughtering Genji to the point he refuses to sleep.

Was surprised when Angela and Cole were the first people to be friends as he allowed himself to vulnerable around them.

Adopted Illari/became her mentor since he see's himself in her, he also heard her call him dad but choose to ignore it.(it made him smiled though)

Always helps Brigitte with her poetry and is happy she's slowly improving on it.

Enjoys ice carving with Mei since he finds a calmness being with her.

Really hopes that his father is proud of him but also forgives him for what he's done.

Has anxiety when mentioned about his past.

Thought about joining Talon but decided against it.

Joined Overwatch for Genji's sake since he's is his only family.

Salmon sashimi is his favourite food with tuna being seconded.

Prefers Oolong tea.

Has a huge crush on Cole but doesn't even know what to say too him.

Tried to write a few love letters too Cole but chickened out last minute throwing them away.

Is slowly healing at his own pace but he's getting there.

Sym and Lifeweaver are his gossip friends but he mainly listen to the gossip.

His favourite animals are horses and sparrows.

Feels a bit out of place now that he finally having a "normal" life for once.

Might try to defeat the Hashimoto clan on his own without Kiriko or Genji help, since he knows it's his responsibility and duty.

He finds Baptiste attractive.

Has OCD on being perfect.

Feel like he and Cole carry the same burden though different.

Solider 76/Jack Morrsion

Knows the wound on his side isn't healing correctly but chooses to ignore it.

Wishes he saw all the signs on what was happening to Gabriel.

The reason he is still going after Gabriel is because he wants to help him.

Used too have crush on Gabe.

He misses Vincent everyday.

Is terrified of Cole since he might turn out like Gabe even though he knows that he and Ana trained him as well.

Hate's Sojourn for turning her back on Overwatch since he thought they were friends.

Even though Ana is with him he wishes she never tagged along to begin with.

Is slowly going blind but can still somewhat see.

Thought Gabriel died in the explosion since he was lifeless when he saw him so he mourned him thinking he was dead.

Wishes he never even became strike commander.

Has night terror about the explosion and abandoning Reyes like a coward.

He could have save Gabriel but didn't even know he was alive till he saw him.

See's Lena and Angela as his own kids(Cole used to be but all he see's is the shadow of Gabriel Reyes)

Wonders when Gabriel will kill him since he knows he really deserves it.

Knows he responsible for how everything turned out but refuses to take part of the blame so he blames it on either Genji or Cole for not doing the bare minimum.

Knows he tried he hardest to make Overwatch work but he was under consent stress and couldn't keep up with all of the work that was happening.

Won't stop fallowing Gabe even if it kills him he wants to make everything up too him for what he's done.

Echo

Wishes she knew more about her successor Aurora

Saw Mina and Cole as parental figures since she was more close to them.

Is always willing to learn more and adapt to her surroundings to improve on herself.

She's Bastion personal translator too Sojourn since she's quiet surprised that she's the only person who seems not to understand Bastion.

Is thankful that Cole saved her and woke her up from her quarantine even though like she states it really didn't feel that long.

Her only regret is that she didn't say goodbye to Mina.

If she could eat and smell her favourite food would be pie mainly apple pie.

Feels like she doesn't belong anywhere.

Is helping Bastion build a nest for Ganymede.

There are times were she wished she could have saved Mina.

Really wants to make Mina proud like Aurora did.

Knows that she'll never be like Aurora but knows she do everything she can to help.

Has wondered if Aurora is proud of her since she considers Aurora as a sister even though they never met each other, but she likes to think that she is.

Tends to wonder what would happened if Cole ever saved her and she ended up with the Deadlock gang.

Mei-Ling Zhou’s

Really misses her friends a lot and wished that none of this would have happened to them.

She fully understands what Illari is going to through and sympathies with her.

Love's Snowball company since Snowball is the closest thing she has to her friends.

Wanted to be Hanzo friend since he only had 2 friends and also the fact that he was pretty awkward being around other people so she made the effort.

The people she considers to be her friend are Hanzo and mostly everyone she hangs out with.

She knows that Cole understands the weather forecast but doesn't trust the news reporters since they're not very certain on how the weather is going to be.

Finds Junkrat a bit annoying though at the same time very entertaining at best.

She is very sensitive.

She loved playing D&D with Lena and had the most fun playing it and is asking Hanzo to come and join for the next session telling him he could watch.

Is an animal lover and loves penguins since she finds them interesting and cute.

Taught Roadhog how to make dumplings and was impressed by how much of a quick learner he was.

Love's boba milktea is her favourite type of boba but melon is second best.

She speaks Cantonese and Mandarian.

Always apologises even though it can never be her fault she just can't help herself.

She mainly snow though she likes rain too due to how calming it is and relaxing since there nothing great than listening to a storm at home and reading a book.

Is learning how too carve ice with Hanzo she thinks she isn't doing it right.

Junkrat/Jamison Fawkes

He's very glad he met Roadie cause without he wouldn't be doing all the things they both enjoyed.

Is scared of Junker queen but has total respect for her.

Is really trying to make some friends but doesn't understand why they don't want to be friends with him.

Wants Ana too be his mother but was a bit heartbroken when she rejected him.

Is he and Roadhog in a relationship? he doesn't even know himself he just enjoys his company.

The only people he considers to be his friends are Cole and Lifeweaver.

He made Roadie his pig pen for him since where is the fun in that when you can have two traps at once.

The first time he made pig pen it was a bit too much like his own trap so he asked Roadhog for some advice even though he wanted them to be matching.

He always takes advice from Cole how too stop a train even though he doesn't even know how too stop it so he takes notes down...maybe.

Had a feeling that Jack would eat his own toenails since he looks like someone who would.

Always wanted to be a news anchor/weather reporter.

Finds that he and Ashe share the same love for bombs but his bombs are way better than hers and thinks she needs to step up her game.

His favourite animal...spotted dogs the ones that laugh(basically Hyenas)

Is an arsonist but doesn't know the meaning of it, thinks its a compliment.

Is lucio #1 fan.

He'll forever have roadhogs back and knows that Roadie will have his back too.

Pharah/Fareeha Amari

Has mommy issues but is slowly working on them.

She misses her mom but also resents her for being alive since she mourned her.

She never liked her last name being English so she changed it to her mothers since it sounded more cooler than Fareeha English.

Is very close too Cole and see's him as an older brother as she still considers him family.

She and Cole wrote to each other keeping a few updates on one another.

Has a huge yet very obvious crush on Angela but has a feeling that Genji also likes her.

Basketball is her domain she'll wipe you with the floor.

Saw Cole trip on a basketball once and laughed at him.

Thinks her mom is in love Rein with Rein feeling the same way towards her mother.

She going to Sojourn for dog tips advice since she is going to adopt a Rottweiler and maybe a Doberman as well.

If she ever gets a rottweiler she's gonna name them either Rosco or Hades.

Wishes her mom would just come back to her and put her first than any other mission.

Is quiet impressed that Kiriko can keep up with her in a game of basketball.

She talks to her father once in awhile but isn't as close as him.

To her Jack and Gabe were her parental father figures though now she barely knows them.

She is still close with her mom but is still heart heavy being near her though she happy she is alive she just won't tell her that.

Hates it whenever Cole or Lena tease her about her crush on Angela, even till now she hates it.

Always ask Sojourn about Murphy and gives Hanzo some which type of dogs will suit him,Though she'll be honest she thought that Hanzo was more of a cat person than anything.

Hints to Cole about how much Baptiste really likes him.

Has asked Cole if he liked anyone but all she got was a "It ain't none of yer business"

She is really trying to hook up Baptiste and Cole together not even realising that Cole likes Hanzo and Bap is in a relationship with Lifeweaver but to her two hands are two hands.

She remembers the first time she came out she came out to Lena too which Lena told her she already knew that she was gay.

Knows that Cole seems very stressed but whenever she asked he would just avoid the topic thinking it has to do with Jack.

She will forever take care of Angela but does drop a ton of hints that she really likes her but isn't so sure that Angela likes are back.

Hate's playing video games with D.va since whenever she plays D.va tends to annoy her too the point they have a shouting match in which Cole has to separate them.

She won't admit it but she knows that she has a ton of trauma too unpack.

Knows that her mother is trying but she's slowly getting tired of waiting and knows it's not her fault.

When she found out what happened to her mother eye she was beyond pissed and was stopped by her mom and Cole to cool her down before she did anything stupid.

Will always let Angela win in bowling though Cole calls her a simp which she hates.

Really wants to know who taught Cole how too shoot like that, the only people she has in mind are Jack and Gabe.

When she was younger she thought that Cole had a crush on Angela and it made her very jealous of him but found out he wasn't into her because he saw her as a sister.

Honestly thought Cole and Genji were dating found out they were not.

Cole Cassidy

Will lie about his past or just tell people hint about it but he'll never tell the whole truth about it.

Knows that Sombra wants more information about him but always shuts it down killing the mood for her since it's none of her business.

Despise Jack knowing that the old fool can't admit when he's wrong.

Regrets his last words too Gabe when the Swiss HQ exploded in front of him since he never got the chance to apologise to him.

Will sometimes spend the Holiday with Martina and her son since he considers them as family to him and will be grateful when first met them.

Called Ana mom once and is still embarrassed about it too this day,though it seems that Ana can never let him forget about it.

Took him awhile to realise that he had 2 adoptive mom's which were Ana and Martina.

Knows he sucks at all kinds of sports but will never tell Fareeha who taught him how to shoot.

Hate's yelling at people but it get others attention and work done.

The people he considers as siblings are Genji,Angela,Fareeha,Lena and Sombra(Ashe included).

Knows that Baptiste,Lifeweaver and Hanzo have a crush on him,though he has more of a crush on Hanzo than anything.

Found out who Reaper is and is dreading the day they'll have to confront each other once again.

Used to see Gabriel and Jack as father figures but not anymore.

He is still waiting for his robo horse.

He was bit unsure about Hanzo showing up too Overwatch but when he saw him he couldn't help but feel sympathy towards him when all he saw was how broken Hanzo was.

Flirts with Hanzo since he enjoys seeing him getting all flustered.

He didn't mean for Bap to feel bad after he ate his pork griot not realising it was pork of all things and felt even more worse when he had to spit it out in Bap hand of all things.

See's Kiriko is trying to set him and Hanzo up by planning dates for them but is failing miserably.

Thinks that Widowmaker is a great sniper but knows she lacks the combat skills.

Was a bit surprised when Doomfist asked him to join Talon which was very suspicious.

The tapir will forever be his favourite animal since he finds them cute and adorable also they remind him of pigs.

He hates the taste of pork after working in basically a slaughter house mainly pork factory it made him feel a bit nausea, since it made him lose his appetite and also he couldn't put them down.

Will never allow himself to be vulnerable ever again after losing Mina due to how close he was to her as a friend and as a close family member as well.

Has no clue how his deadeye work he is still trying to figure that out himself.

The only people he's close too are Lena,Fareeha,Angela and Genji.

Is stressed out but knows how to hide it well.

Keeps a hided stash of cigar everywhere but knows how much Angie hates it though he can't help himself it became his coping mechanism.

Wishes things would have been different but life kept flipping the coin.

He misses his folks but knows their long gone.

Has cried himself too sleep a few times and wakes up pretending that none of that happened and carries on with the day.

When Angela asks him if he's okay he always tells her that he's fine even though he's really not.

Is depressed but hides it to support his friends hiding his true feelings which he knows is wrong.

Sometimes wondered what would have happened if Gabriel never caught him or he picked the prison instead of Overwatch.

Finds Jack pretty stupid going after Gabriel like that knowing he's either going to be end up dead or worse.

Honestly was a bit hurt when he found out Ana was alive but none the less he was thankful she was still alive.

Wished that Sombra would stop looking at his internet search history, cause how else was he suppose to remove the cactus spines out.

Knows he has the same stride like Reyes and doesn't like to be reminded it of it since he was close too him after all.

Had to built thick skin when he was surviving on his own.

The first time he killed someone was out of self-defense and that's when he knew he was all alone.

Is honestly happy that he retrieved Echo back.

He knows that Echo has some doubt is she wonders if Mina was proud of her and he's sure that Mina is very proud of Echo.

[happynowyo]

The triad, part 1

Fandom: House of the Dragon

Pairing: Aemond x Fem!reader, Aegon x Fem!Reader (possible)

Summary: You are Aegon's twin but, despite the fact that you're five minutes older, he's still a main heir. Your ability to have visions is much stronger than Helaena's and that gives you a chance to actually see what happens with Targaryens in the future. That's why you decide to take everything in your hands so you can survive and succeed, especially with some help from your brothers.

Word count: 1,6k

Part 2

Boys will always be boys. Your mother repeated the phrase so often, using it as a simple explanation for all Aegon's and Aemond's behavior, that you remembered it like a mantra. Like a commandment that cannot be broken or challenged. What seemed like a mere excuse for a child began to make sense as you grew older. You float somewhere between worlds all the time, lost in the boundaries of dreams and reality, but still manage to notice the important things around.

People say that everyone's personality traits form in childhood and are also determined by the upbringing and the environment you grew up in. Hardly any of of you had even the slightest chance of becoming someone normal. Usual. You know that this is what Aegon asks of the seven gods on those nights when even alchohol doesn't save him from the bitter realization of his plight. Things would have been so much simpler if all of you had been born into the family of some merchant. But you were destined for something else - something far greater.

Viserys often mentions his dreams. He wants to believe that he has some kind of power that will give him support and way to believe in what is right and what is wrong. Helaena doubts that your father is really capable of seeing anything, but she doesn't question that both of you really have some power to make prophecies. Sometimes the words come to her on their own. They roll around on the tip of her tongue, waiting to slip out at the most inappropriate moment and become the property of a public that will never be able to recognize anything meaningful in them.

But it's quite different with you. More often your visions have a picture and a sound, they are like dreams - so real that you cannot always tell whether you are observing the past or the future or just dreaming something that is never destined to come true. The line is so thin that every time you wake up, you feel a ghostly frustration mixed with hope. Like a flock of goosebumps along your spine, settling in your chest with an unpleasant heavy lump. Sometimes you see things that make you want to clamp your mouth shut to keep you from screaming in genuine horror.

Someone else's memories appear in front of you like an open book, and someone else's sorrows and joys are experienced so acutely and vividly that you feel every death and every birth as your own. On rare nights you actually scream. You crumple the sheets with your thin, icy fingers and scream, staring into the pitch black of the canopy. When your emotions begin to run high, creating a kind of vacuum that squeezes your in space, seeking to crush you completely, you know you must wake up. Your body gives you the command, reminding you that you have a power over this cursed gift.

But trying to get out of the nightmare is like trying to swim out of a swamp. The sticky, murky mire pulls you deeper with every effort. And then you raise your voice some more in a presumptuous attempt to reach out to someone. To get help. To not be alone. To not be caught in the snare of fear for good. Your cry goes through the stone walls of the castle so freely, as if a flimsy piece of wood were a barrier - and Aemond hears your first, since your rooms are the only ones in this wing. He always comes, justifying himself that there is a real reason.

Aemond is attentive to everything and remembers every detail with the pedantry of a bloodhound - Otto jokes that in the future he will have a seat in the Little Council. He responds to his grandfather's offer with the arrogance inherent as every true Targaryen, demanding in advance a position for himself that has not even been offered to him yet. Aemond could compile an impressive dossier on everyone in this castle, but the folder with his oldest sister's name would still be the most voluminous.

He knows every detail about you better than anyone else. You like everything to be on certain places in your room. You like watching the sunset near your dragon. You like being the only one who can say a word and make Aegon listen, at least for a while. Amond thinks there is a certain form of control that you adore, but when he tries to talk to you about it, you only shrugs with words about how everything in life is tied up with control. Somewhere you get it, somewhere you give it away. There's only a few of years difference between you two, but Aemond looks at his sister with pure awe, utterly fascinated by you to the core and so lets any words about your madness pass him by.

When he comes to you at night to cautiously lie down beside you and take your hand unbeknownst to him, muttering aloud who he is and where you are to calm you down, he does not think at all that your mind is at the mercy of some disease, as your mother thinks. He likes to be near you, to see the real you - without that fake, empty smile, that always sticks to your lips as soon as you leave your chamber. He appreciates every moment spent together immensely.

He also likes to listen. To catch the shimmering intonations in your voice as he asks about your dreams. As a child, he marveled at how much you and Helaena can make things up, but later he accepted that some of your visions do have a connection to reality, as Viserys keeps saying. Sometimes, when the weather changes make his scars especially aching and sensitive, Aemond thinks about how he should have listened to you sooner. Maybe then he wouldn't have lost his eye so stupidly.

When he shares his regrets with Heleina, all he gets in return is a soft smile and a light kiss very close to the edge of the lumpy scar. You add to this some wise words to comfort him a bit. "Some things are irreversible. No matter how you run from them, they still happen. You got the dragon, isn't that enough? Other times you wouldn't have had even that." Aemond wants to ask a host of new questions, about the other times, for example, but his skills of observation are enough to catch the mute warning in your eyes.

He twitches the corners of his lips in agreement and doesn't argue, only holds out his hand, waiting for you to touch him first. Alicent sometimes reproaches him for being cold and distant, but it is always different with you, so every tactile contact becomes especially important and can replace hours of heated discussion. Aemond appreciates the boundaries you sets for him - they are much closer than the ones you has for everyone else. It makes him feel truly special.

A warm feeling dances somewhere beneath his ribs, causing him to instinctively smile proudly every time he notices you flinch and seek to escape the unexpected touch of his mother or Aegon. There is never any such thing with him. You doesn't question it but you recognize as well that the bond with him is far stronger than with the others at court. Aegon is your twin, for example, but most of the time both of you can barely be in one room without starting a fight within a few minutes.

Your visions make it difficult for you to keep your boundaries and trace back to when your story with Aemond began. Did you grow attached to him since childhood and fall in love more after he lost an eye in that fight? Or did you have feelings for that grown-up Aemond you'd seen in your dreams since you were twelve so you absorbed his affection and warmth, and then all you had to do was to wait for him to grow into who he was meant to be with your help?

You take this course of events as a natural progression. The attachment grows stronger day by day, and you are increasingly drawn to the fact that Aemond himself reaches out to you and stays close to you even when he has already learned to wear his armor as second skin When he keeps his distance from everyone around him, he becomes increasingly cold and withdrawn. You think that the black hole of the castle consumes him as well, but rejoice when you see that your brother is still capable of affectionate smiles and sincere interest.

It is enough for you to see what Aegon is turning into. You were never close, not even as children. He always preferred to hang around mother or find company among the children of the other lords at court. Aegon liked other people's attention, he was quite easygoing, but even as a child he felt something special about you. He had once said that you had grown-up eyes. Alicent brushed it off with a chuckle, but Aegon remembered and still holds that opinion. Your eyes are empty. Dead. As if you are always somewhere else, remaining around only as a physical shell.

Aegon sees your emptiness even now, when your mother solemnly announces the date of your imminent engagement in the middle of breakfast. He doesn't like it at all. He knows the Targaryens' long tradition of marrying their own sisters, but he is disgusted by the very thought of it. He doesn't see you as a normal girl, so he feels sorry for himself in advance in this planned marriage and goes so deep into these thoughts that he doesn't feel Aemond's sharp, piercing gaze, full of envy that only he alone can understand. Nor does he miss you leaning toward his ear, interjecting your into your mother's idle dreams of a lavish wedding.

— I will love you if you try to do the same for me.

Your whisper pulls Aegon back to reality and acts like ice water, so he blinks twice because he finally sees you. Looking straight at him, not through, as usual. Burning with such determination, as if the fate of all humanity depended on it. Or at least the fate of some Targaryens.

Part 2

[penofpenguin]

Hi! I was wondering how you think Vil, Riddle and Lilia would react to a best friend that finally trusts them enough to show them the full extent of their emotions? Usually they'll bite their tongue so they come across as relatively calm and collected when something bad happens, but now they trust Vil, Riddle or Lilia enough to show them how they shake in anger or twitch in anxiety at something bad that happened, trying not to throw pillows at the wall as they try to deal with their h e a v y emotions

Aight aight anonn :DD

Content Warnings: Mentions of animal abuse on Lilia's part(not graphic)

Their best friend finally shows them their real emotions.

Riddle x GN!Reader, Vil x GN!Reader, Lilia x GN!Reader (PLATONIC)

He's used to seeing you very calm and he's always surprised how. He's the absolute opposite.

He actually wanted to get some tips from you on how to remain calm.

Let's say you're walking through a corridor to his room to have some tea and some guy steps on your foot. He doesn't say sorry but you nod at him with a wave.

Once you do get to his room, which he's been waiting for you in....you go mad.

"Ah, there you a-"

He notices your eye twitching and you saying curses under your breath. He's never...NEVER seen you this ticked off. So he thought it was something really serious.

You face him and you apologize with a laugh.

Once you let him know that you trust him enough with seeing you like this, he feels happy. He's someone you can rely on :)

But he also thinks it's kind of unhealthy to bottle your emotions and thinks you should try letting it out sometime.

He's half of what you are actually. He can be calm and cool when infront of a crowd...or he can go bonkers over Epel spilling milk.

But seeing you so calm and professional during anything bad happening made him very intrigued of you at first.

When you start trusting him, you can feel at ease with your emotions now :)

Say when Grim got into danger, you remained so collected when infront of everyone.

When Vil went into another room to get something, you followed him. You close the door behind you and just sigh very loudly.

"What?" He asks.

"I'm just so......scared. Is Grim....is he gonna be ok?" You start to shake and tears almost form at your eyes. You're banging the floor with your fist, trying not to throw something at the wall.

He's surprised, since he's never seen you this emotional about an issue like this. Once you get the news that Grim is safe though, you decide to tell Vil about how you trust him enough to show your true self.

Just like Riddle, he's glad that you told him and that he's someone you trust deeply.

He'll indirectly ask you some tips on how to stay calm though, since he doesn't want to lose his cool for the silliest reasons.

I doubt you'd be able to even hide your true emotions if this guy's your bestie.

Lilia's very wise and I'm sure he can tell if something's wrong.

He admires your ability to stay calm. He can do it too but he still finds it amazing that you, a human, can be unfazed. He believes that humans are very emotional creatures.

When you do let it out to him, you're mad that a random guy in the street was abusing an animal. He's walking with you when you witness this.

Before you can jump in, the guy runs away and so does the cat, in fear.

"I hate animal abusers. Would they have liked it if someone did that to them?? HE SHOULD BE BORN AS A FLY IN HIS NEXT LIFE!!!" You keep ranting.

Lilia, without batting an eye, listens to you and comforts you like he knows you're always like this.

"There there..."

That's when you tell him about how you are and that you trust him enough to let him see this side of you. This man just smiles and says:

"I know."

Overall, he's always there to lend a helping hand for you. He can even give you some life lessons to help you remain fully calm :D

Hope you enjoyed it!!

Vil is a bit ooc so I apologize. Also don't support animal abuse kids ☝️

Have a great day 💖

- Madeline 🐧

[tamelee]

As a beginner artist im only happy when people reupload and share my art. I don’t want to be arragont enough to think im like samdoesart or something and you’re not really on that level either no offense though your art is inspiring me a lot

Okay, I'll address this then... (Art-rant for anyone who cares;) 

... no offense taken. I'm very aware of my (skill)’level' in art and definitely feel a certain type of way about it ;-; .... but that aside, what is your argument here?

Is anyone who doesn't want their art reposted or uploaded on other accounts considered arrogant? Is there some kind of popularity threshold you need to cross before you can request something as simple as this? And if so, what's that threshold to you? I'm genuinely curious.

When does someone become "good" enough to have the right to say that their art is theirs and protect it from being stolen or decide where it gets shared? Who has any say in it, other than the artist or creator themselves? Isn't that extremely subjective to base it solely on that?

Hm. If you're a beginner artist, I'd like to offer some advice....

It's entirely up to you whether you read it, give it any thought, or find it valuable in any way. I'm no Sam, after all. But there are plenty of ways for others to support your art, engage with it, or share it even in their own accounts without taking anything away from the original creator, whether it's art/writing or any other type of creation. However, it's also perfectly fine if you personally don't care about it or if someone allows it only with proper credit because that's your decision as.. you know- the original creator.

You mentioned that you're happy when your art gets reuploaded as a form of "sharing." But do you know what makes me the happiest as an artist Nonee?

Do you know what really brightens my day? 🥹

...It's knowing what people are saying about my work because I can read it on my own posts that are on my own accounts. When I can respond and take it in fully. When I see people using tags that make me snort my drink or when I have to stifle a laugh to the point I’m choking because it's just SO funny! (I genuinely need to make a compilation!!) Sometimes, I get comments that are cursing me out in a playful manner, and it's often followed by an incoherent keyboard-smash. I end up making embarrassing alien-like noises because of it that makes me more grateful than ever to live alone. Other times, I bawl my eyes out because someone left a comment or tagged it with something that just hits differently. A while ago, I got an ask that said I should stop saying 'thank you' on everything because it got repetitive/annoying(?), but I genuinely feel so grateful for all of it 😭!!

I get new ideas because someone suggested something different. I see friends having entire conversations under a drawing that I'm not even a part of because apparently, what I drew resonated with them personally, or it made them feel a certain way, which is oddly fulfilling with art ;-; Just so you know, I read everything... and all this feedback (because it's all feedback in a way) can be very inspiring, don't you think?

Honestly, when it comes to activities like drawing, it's true that it is better to never do it solely for the sake of engagement. Drawing, or more specifically, living as an (aspiring) artist is incredibly lonely.

So, so lonely...

Relying on engagement alone to keep you creating for hours, days, years, or maybe even decades is just not sustainable. It takes an enormous amount of time and dedication to practice, come up with new ideas, and endure the inevitable frustrations that come with it. With anything, keeping yourself inspired at times takes effort also because it requires for you to be in a state of mind that allows new idea’s in the first place which in itself takes practice because you won’t always feel like drawing. You might even encounter nasty comments or discover that something you poured your heart into gets criticized, YOU as a person may even be criticized because what you drew with your current skills (and such a journey is never-ending) in a single moment could get paired with your entire personality or even your humanly morals (ffs) to judge. Which can be more hurtful than you'd expect... especially in the beginning.

Although it may sound silly, the saying "the fun is in the journey” is very real and likely the most important thing to keep you going as an artist. No matter what, you gotta have fun or find a way to have fun.

Yet, even so, now more than ever, the process of creating is very underappreciated as many are looking for “content” that's quickly generated for entertainment. Tsk, some even call art “content” which, IT IS NOT. It's a proven fact that we, as humans, currently have become dopamine junkies with short attention spans. (I totally understand this – I was diagnosed with ADD, hence my extreme hyper-fixations also 😆 it's both a blessing and a curse, tbh.) So, right now, the very thing that can support artists (which means you as a beginner also!) on their creative journey is letting them know you appreciate their art in any way or just let them know your thoughts maybe even by specifying what it was you liked about it so they can carry that into their next drawing.. which is only truly possible through your own accounts y’know? :’) I'm being sincere when I say this really can help. 

I get that many people believe that creating should be satisfying in itself, and everyone may expect you to think that way because, after all, you want people to see what you've made and a reposter ‘helps’ you with that, so, it should be enough and you should be happy and grateful actually. Anything beyond that might be considered "arrogant."

And... based on your ask, it seems like you might view having your art reuploaded as a form of 'help,' and if that's the case, it's totally fine. But I want to share a rather harsh reality, because even if those who repost your art provide credit...

They don’t do it for you and it’s not necessarily because they love your art so much 👀 rarely anyone cares to go through a description full with useless trend-based tags or promotive texts they always use only to put in the effort to find your name and most likely, if they follow such accounts there is zero connection with the original artist/creator which means it is WAY more likely in this case that the art you worked on for idk how long ends up becoming a forgettable blur as it is scrolled past 🤷🏻‍♀️

And even if the reposter likes your art personally, that's probably not their primary motivation to share it (except for a very few who are in it for a fandom, sns has a few also). Art that gets ‘selected’ for reposting is typically selected with a specific, often trend-oriented, goal that has little to do with the artist. It's frequently shared with the mindset of a rather poorly-driven marketer. Especially on platforms like IG- many of these accounts exist to benefit the account owner only by making high(er)-follower accounts that later get a different purpose. Many of these accounts will discard all art once it has reached an engagement goal to then move onto something new that's more financially profitable to the account owner, which original art by others is not. And yeah, a lot of these accounts are sold after. There are especially many now due to the IG affiliate program, and recently tiktok also. The same is quickly happening on X with its monetization... and guess what :’)!!! Although original art is hard to monetize, Ai is completely approved.... 🤨🙄 But I won't bore you with all the specifics any longer.

Me not wanting my art on other platforms/accounts, has little to do with credit nor do I think in the very least that I have some sort of control over it by making that decision... but still. I refuse to willingly take part in anything that currently takes ‘art’ (any creative form) and makes a mockery of it, using it for mere "content" or treats it as this ‘thing’ that appeared out of nowhere to then just use any way people like and participate in the narrative that gives the impression that investing time in creating something isn't valuable or a cherished part of human expression that brings and promotes joy. 

Because rarely do people take the damn time anymore.

I want all artists/writers/creators/etc- to be acknowledged for their work in general, or, even in the least, acknowledge the work that isn't seen that goes into the final result for others to enjoy. I don't want to continually see art stolen and exploited so rapidly. This phenomenon enables tech bros who don’t have a single ounce of argumentative skill or self-proclaimed "entrepreneurs" to generate their little stolen jpg’s for their absurd 3 a.m. morning-routine videos and use them as banners on their get-rich-quick schemes, scamming the unsuspecting and spamming the internet with this bs, largely thanks to AI making this partly possible... for example. There's not a single platform left that supports artists or helps them fight for security and protection for their work. I know and I'm aware. At the very least, we can say 'no' to reposting because giving up completely makes no room for possible solutions... and then we can work from where we are at all times to find ways to protect a right (because it is) that some might perceive as trivial. 

Nevertheless, it is a right, and it definitely isn't an issue of arrogance or skill.

[bucky-h0e]

A/N: I can now properly schedule! I wanted every universe to be started at least so I could see which ones would be more appealing and which ones I can place on the back burner a little. Very pleased that this Universe and the Serendipity Universe are doing so well! Please continue to show your support form them! I love Bucky and Alpine so much and I can't wait for their stories to be told!

Warnings: Bucky Barnes Recovering in Budapest, domestic Bucky, Bucky teaching Alpine to read and write, Bucky adopting Alpine, mentions of past abuse, fears of the Winter Soldier returning, Alpine being like 12 and knowing how to hurt a man, Alpine being jealous of the Winter Soldier? (not for murderous reasons), Bucky's nightmares

You Feel Like Home | Universe Masterlist

Bucky and Alpine Settling Into Their New Life

surprisingly, Bucky settles into a routine with Alpine quite quickly

fatherhood agrees with him apparently

of course he doesn't realise it, he just assumes it's due to his ability to improvise and accommodate sudden changes

a condition that had been programmed into him

after all he had missions to complete

when it came to Alpine and their new routine however, he had to create a few new rules for them

since he broke two of his first set of rules by letting Alpine into his place that first night

no regrets from the assassin though

the first rule was that on a night time, she HAD to sleep separate from him

she wasn't too sure of the reasoning and had frowned up at him when he told her this rule

she just found someone she found comfort in and was feeling a little clingy

she's a neglected child - she'd never felt that feeling before and craved more of it like the sweet little angel baby she is

"But... why? Did I do something wrong Bucky? I'm sorry..."

"No, no. You didn't so anything wrong, Alpine. It's just... you remember what I told you? About me?"

now, Bucky had been very clear with Alpine about his situation - kind off

he told her what he though she'd understand, that both the good guys (police, Captain America, etc.) and the bad guys (HYDRA, literally every underground criminal boss and politician, etc) were are him

when she'd asked why

he'd told her that he had someone else in his mind, someone who would take over sometimes and be very mean and hurtful to anyone who he needed to

Bucky is trying his absolute hardest not to further traumatise the child okay

the image of a mean man possibly shouting at her seemed a lot better than a monster with his face who wouldn't think twice about hurting her

"That a lot of men were after you?"

"That and the other thing..."

Alpine frowns, she'd hated the fact that Bucky said someone else had been in his mind

not only did it not sound fun

but it meant she'd have to SHARE Bucky

and she didn't want to share him

"About the really mean man in your mind?"

"Exactly. Well, if he comes out, which he shouldn't, but just in case, then I need you to be in a different room from him at all times. Okay? Especially when you're sleeping."

where she'd be most vulnerable to the Soldier

he'd take her out and she wouldn't even been able to defend herself

this was a nightmare that had plagued Bucky the first few nights of Alpine staying with him

each time it happened, he'd gone into her room and perched himself on the edge of the mattress

he just needed to make sure she was safe

he'd watch her breathe for a few minutes before he finally felt comfortable enough that she was safe before returning to the couch for another restless night

"And besides, having your own room means that you get privacy."

"Privacy?"

"Yeah! Time to yourself, where you can just be on your own."

Alpine despises that idea

"But... I'm always on my own..."

fucking critical damage to Bucky's heart

deadass

he had sighed and kneeled down to be at her height as he often does, not wanting to scare her

"How about this, the only time you have to be on your own, is when you go to bed at the end of the day. You'll be asleep anyway and it'll go by so quick you won't even have time to miss me."

"What if I can't sleep?"

"Then you can stay up with me until you feel sleepy. But you have to sleep in your room. Deal?"

she had reluctantly agreed to this rule, but that didn't mean she didn't try to get her own way sometimes

she'd fall asleep on the couch, claiming not to be tired, only to wake up in her room and Bucky greets her the next morning with a 'nice try kid'

the second rule, was that she didn't have to do anything but be a kid

literally anything

no cleaning (on her own - she likes to help Bucky)

no shopping on her own

no going downstairs just to collect the mail (not that Bucky ever got any mail, he just wanted her to stop going down the stairs without him)

when alpine found out about Bucky not getting any mail, she was sad for him

that was the only form of communication she knew

and she actually got very excited when she saw mail in their letterbox back in her old home even if it wasn't for her

so, she started drawing Bucky pictures and she'd put some of them in the mail box so he'd have something

he didn't realise until he saw the paper sticking out of the lock box and had to dig out the key just to find an actual mountain of drawings and pages from the colouring books he'd half stolen half bought for her

he'd looked through them all that night and put his favourites into his journal, letting Alpine 'decorate' with the rest

he checks the mail everyday and finds new drawings - he's starting to wonder where he'd going to put them all

but altogether, he just want's Alpine to be a kid

she deserves that at least

the third rule, she'd have to start doing a bit of home schooling

with her illness, which was still undiagnosed and bothering Bucky to no end because at the very least he knew it affected her breathing, they couldn't keep going out everyday

it didn't help that he was on the run either, so when they did go out, he wanted to be quick

which was not possible when you've got a 12 year old who had a coughing fit every 10 minutes because they were breathing too hard

most of the time Bucky carried her on his back if they were in a real rush, other times he didn't mind waiting until she stopped

always has a bottle of water and an inhaler in his bag for her

and some snacks (usually plums)

and plasters designed with the avengers because she liked them (she asks for Thor always without fail)

and a hair brush because ever since they managed to get her hair under control, Bucky refuses to let it fall back into disarray - will always pull her aside to brush and tie it up when they're actually out and about and it becomes suddenly very windy

he's just super prepared for her and does it without really thinking

fucking cutie

the fourth and final rule he had set, was she had to follow an 'escape plan'

of course, she didn't know what it was

but he prepared her for a situation where she would no longer be safe in their home

or for a situation where they needed to leave Budapest quickly

or the exact same situation as above but with a little more fighting with the authorities and Captain America (thanks zemo)

in the first situation, she was to lock herself in her room - buy herself more time since he'd have to break down the door which he had reinforced with locks and thicker, stronger wood all of which were stolen or obtained through less than legal means

when he inevitably broke through, she'd blind him with pepper spray (stolen) or wound him with one of the knifes he'd stashed in her room (he'd been very hesitant to put it in there but his need to keep her safe outweighed the need to be a logical father) before pulling the fire alarm, running and contacting the American authorities and telling them that the 'Winter Soldier was active'

she had to say those exact words because otherwise the Avengers would not come

he could only hope that whoever got a hold of him didn't make her his mission, and that she would be able to get away from him unharmed

in the second instance, Bucky had spent months preparing three emergency kits for the two of them - one for him and two for her. if they had to leave Budapest suddenly, then they would grab the two kits hidden within the apartment and run.

They'd find (steal) transport along the way and make their way out of the country and into several more before making their home somewhere else

the third instance involved the same premise, except the two would separate - Bucky would go back to the apartment, grab the kit made for him and anything else they would need whilst Alpine headed for a different spot for the third bag that Bucky had hidden away from the apartment and away from any fighting that may occur. They would then meet at the edge of the city where they'd call out their little codeword 'pruna' (plum in Romanian because Alpine fucking loves plums) and continue with the plan.

What Bucky didn't tell Alpine, however, was that if the people on their tail were a bit more dangerous than the regular authorities (for example, HYDRA), then he would contact American authorities, hopefully before HYDRA got to him, and tell them to send Captain America to Alpine's location, where she would hopefully be picked up and cared for

a lot of it was hoping that Steve would not send Alpine back to live with her parents

but he had hope that Alpine wouldn't shy away from telling him that Bucky had basically adopted her and Steve would immediately take her in himself because that man had quite literally refused to fight him and nearly died because of it

but he was hoping that day would never come (again, thanks zemo)

so far, they had been able to follow the four rules perfectly

Alpine still struggled to be a kid sometimes because she had so much responsibility on her shoulders for keeping herself and her parents alive

she just didn't know how to be a child

but that was okay because Bucky was slowly teaching her what was her responsibility and what was his

like dinner

honestly, Bucky thought he'd struggle when it came to meals and looking after Alpine

he survived on breakfast bars and fruit

barely had any real food, it was a miracle he had any rice or pasta let alone a sauce, seasoning or even veg and meat to go with it

he was living off limited funds

why do you think most of the stuff he and Alpine owned was stolen?

but after taking Alpine in, he made sure to get proper meals and tried even harder to make sure they weren't cheap microwave meals despite how desperately low they were for funds

but he never let's her start the morning without a breakfast and never let's her go to bed without a dinner

because she never really got a lot of food in the first place, her stomach wasn't used to a lot of food, which Bucky took full advantage of

if they had a big breakfast, they'd have a small dinner. A small breakfast then they'd make up for it with dinner

a lot of the times, breakfast was already on the table when Alpine woke up and she'd wonder out, half awake and muttering a greeting to Bucky before she's sitting at their table and falling asleep in her bowl of cereal

on one occasion did Alpine actually make them breakfast and Bucky pretended to be asleep on the couch so that she could surprise him

she had tried so hard to be quiet but the plates were up high and the fridge door was heavy so needed a good hard pull most times to open it, which would make everything else on top rattle

he'd opened one eye to make sure nothing had fallen on her before returning to his fact slumber

let her wake him up and acted surprised at the food in front of him

"Aw, thanks sweetheart. You didn't have to."

he'd make a big show out of eating the nearly raw egg and burnt toast and enjoying it

when it came to dinner, Bucky always cooked it

always

but Alpine would help out

he'd used it as a way to train her to use a knife without actually teaching her how to

taught her how to cute up veg and meats, showed her how easy a sharp knife glides through whilst the dull knifes are basically useless

let's her stir the pots on the stove but is very careful she doesn't get burnt

he'll get her to set the table whilst he's dishing up their plates (hers often slightly bigger)

eats her left overs when he's absolutely sure she doesn't want it

they don't eat lunch often

but they'll always snack on fruits throughout the day

honestly, Alpine lived on junk, stolen goods and poorly cooked food in her old home

with Bucky not only was she treated like a princess but she also lives on fresh fruits from the market which she no longer had to steal

but that didn't mean she didn't pick up on a few tricks

our girl is a little pickpocket and a damn good one now thanks to Bucky

not his proudest dad moment

but a proud moment as a mentor nonetheless

especially when she managed to steal enough cash for their shopping for a month

"Look at it!"

"Holy shi- Good job kid! Should send you in more often, huh?"

"You should? Are you missing your keys Bucky?"

"What no- Hey!"

honestly, she steals from him the most just because she finds it funny

mostly his door key, she likes making him look for it for a couple of minutes before telling him

little mischief maker (Bucky occasionally, affectionately calls her 'Bucluc' - Romanian for trouble/mischief)

whilst he'd pretty proud of her skills as a thief, he's actually most proud of her health

she's glowing now that she's actually being taken care of

but his proudest achievement is her hair

after years of matting, dirt, grime and grease in her hair, a few weeks of hard work and a lot

A LOT

of conditioning later

her hair was silky smooth

long and healthy if not without it's split ends

he's so proud of his efforts

honestly, her face when he'd detangled the last knot and washed and dried her hair

she was smiling so damn hard

playing with her hair

learning how to braid it (Bucky taught her)

tying it up in all sorts of ways

honestly, she's never been able to do anything with her hair and both of them are surprised by how long it actually was

Bucky makes a habit out of brushing her hair every night

it's oddly soothing for him and it becomes apart of their night time routine

Bucky will do his usual checks of the windows, making sure there no preventable surprises waiting for them before sending Alpine to get ready for bed

she'll get changed into pj's (kindly donated by the new tenant a few floors down after Alpine told her 'daddy's too poor to get her a new set')

brush her teeth

climb into bed

or if Bucky and her had been play fighting before hand (it had taken a few months but eventually they became really comfortable with each other's touch and Alpine had initiated their first 'fight' by climbing on top of the fridge and jumping on him)

man had a fucking heart attack

he'll 'throw' her on the bed and do a 'finishing move' on her before he's grinning and telling her to go to sleep

"I won sweetheart, you'll get me next time I'm sure."

"nu-uh! I let you win!"

he swears a few months ago this kid was somewhat normal and now she's climbing onto furniture to try and choke him out

never uses a lot of force and will always stop when her breathing starts getting a bit ragged much to her dismay

but he always get's her to sit and he brushes through her hair at the end of the day, braiding it before bed so that it doesn't get too knotted when she sleeps

he'll tell her stories of his childhood

the ones he can remember

and she loves them, normally falls asleep to them

then he'll wish her sweet dreams before going to relax before his own bed time

this is normally when he'll write in his journal, think about his past, wonder if he ever had a family

normal depressive Bucky Barnes stuff to be honest

speaking of

man was distraught when he had to trim Alpine's hair

the same neighbour Alpine had tricked into getting her clothes had once caught Bucky and Alpine on their way back up the stairs from a trip to the market

to give them more clothes for Alpine, which Bucky had accepted, playing the part of grateful father who promised to pay her back

which she refused as a lot of them were hand-me-downs from her own kids

her and Bucky had been talking about Alpine's hair, because he LOVES talking about it

"A lot of hard work went into this, her mother wasn't very good at keeping on top of it."

"Ah, you and you're wife separate?"

"Yeah, she took everything but luckily I got Alpine."

"She's a little cutie. Have you though about cutting her hair?"

"No."

"Oh! She likes it this long?"

"Loves it."

"My daughter had it this long once, it was so annoying! Hair everywhere, in the end it just became so damaged that we had to cut it. Good thing too, her scalp was so irritated and sore from the weight of it too."

"Ah, I see. Well, I'll have to look at it closely tonight. Thanks for the clothes again, what do you say Alpine?"

"Thank you!"

he raised her with MANNERS

and the ability to steal

that night, he's sat on the couch, Alpine on the floor in front of him and he's just looking at her hair

fucking split ends

it's looking a little dry

you can just tell it's been through a lot

honestly he's conflicted but he wants to make her hair healthy!

so he proposes the idea to Alpine and at first she's like okay

but then, they're in the bathroom, Alpine stood on a chair in front of the mirror, Bucky behind her with Scissors and they're both very hesitant

"I've changed my mind I like my hair now!"

"Al, sweetheart, we need to cut it. It's not as healthy as we think."

"NO! I like my hair!"

"It'll grow back, babydoll, but we need to cut it so it can grow back healthy."

eventually she agrees

she's crying

but she agrees to cut it to her shoulders, were there was less damage and more healthy hair

Bucky hesitates, but want's to promote the growth

in the end, after it's cut he has to hug Alpine all night

which he doesn't complain about

she's devastated because she can't do cute long braids anymore and even Bucky struggles to do it before bed

it falls out during the night and Alpine cries to Bucky the next morning because of it

but he cleans up the hair he spent fucking weeks detangling and nearly tears up himself

doesn't regret it but goddamn it he was so damn proud of her hair

genuinely distraught he can't even complain about Alpine being clingy for the next few days because she's devastated

when they're not being dramatic though, both of them are actually very wholesome

we know Bucky tells her stories of his childhood which she basically eats up

but sometimes he just doesn't have the memories

so, he teaches her how to read and write

it takes a while, but he's determined

he takes her to the local library, cap on and keeping his head low

he initially sends her in on her own, telling her to ask the librarian for a library card in her name

she's shaking her head and clinging to Bucky's arm

"She'll laugh!"

"She won't laugh"

"She will, what if she asks how to spell my name?"

"Al-"

"Please Bucky..."

he tries his best not to fall for it

but she's got a good puppy dog face

checks how many people are in the building, two and they're both very old

perfect

so he guides her in, going straight up to the front desk and keeps his face as hidden as possible

he can feel her squeezing his hand

"Hi, can I get my daughter a card?"

"Of course! What's your name sweetheart?"

"Alpine, miss."

"Alright and your surname?"

Bucky answers

"Barnes. Alpine Barnes."

"Could you spell that for me dear?"

Alpine is sending him a look which he grins at because it's a happy, excited look mixed with an 'i told you so'.

spells it out for her and let's Alpine wonder off to look at the books whilst he's getting the card

leans in and whispers

"Sorry about this, but I just wanted to ask if you had any recommendations for children who struggle to read?"

she's nodding and whispering back to him, understanding that Alpine was very sensitive about it, telling him what stickers he needed to look out for and which to avoid

after a while of browsing, Bucky and Alpine had managed to get quite a few books which would help her and be a good starting point

she's basically dragging him home because she's so excited to start reading

regrets it so hard a few weeks later when they've progressed to a more difficult learning book and she can't understand it

sat at the dining table and banging her head on the table because she's so frustrated with it

"I hate this book."

"Yeah, well we're not going back a level so keep trying."

tries a few more times before she's groaning and pulling at her hair

Bucky sighs and leans into his chair, also frustrated

is he teaching her well enough?

maybe something less formal would help

a more relaxing environment

standing, he goes to the couch and pulls the cushions off, placing them on the floor

Alpine thinks he's annoyed at her and starts apologising but he ignores her

grabs blankets and more pillows, setting up a little space for them to lay down on

get's himself comfortable before patting the space next to him

"Bring the book and get over here, bucluc."

Alpine jumps right up

a chance to cuddle her adoptive father and break the first rule

hell yeah

gets herself comfortable, using his arm as a pillow but doesn't want to read

begs him not to make her

so he calms her down and reads instead

gets a few sentences in before he starts to 'struggle' on a word which he knows Alpine definitely knows how to read

she'll help him with the word and he'll thank her before continuing and getting stuck again

repeats a few times before she eventually takes over, reading word for word and getting stuck

he'll help her and she'll get back into a rhythm of reading until she's finished the book or fallen asleep (he'll move her to the bedroom and laugh at her grumpy face in the morning)

this is how he teaches her form this point on, she manages a lot better when they're relaxed and she's cuddling into him

fucking cutie

writing comes a lot easier to her, especially when she knows how to read and knows the sounds letters make

obviously she's learning Romanian, but Bucky teaches her English at least as a spoken language

he manages to find some books which help with the written language but she hates learning it even more

he's speaking in English a lot more around her as well which is so frustrating

"English is stupid."

"Well, you know that statement in both English and Romanian so I'm taking that as a win."

".... What?"

surprises him by speaking in Korean, which he genuinely did not think she knew but then again it made sense?

When he says something she doesn't understand, she'll say something in Korean

Bucky does not know Korean

but he knows Japanese

it makes for a very, extremely crude translation

honestly they're both very petty but at least they're bilingual

the first thing she writes is her full name

'Alpine Barnes'

she then writes Bucky's name

he keeps them in his diary with her drawings

Let's be honest, Alpine is learning so much with Bucky

how to read

how to write

in Romanian and English (he can't teach her Korean but he's added it to the list)

how to feed herself

how to prepare food

to know her own limits

how to take care of her hair (even though she cries every time she needs a trim)

how to steal

how to gaslight innocent neighbours into giving her clothing

how to stab a man or blind him

again, not his proudest father moments

but he'd do anything to keep her safe from harm

she deserves to be happy and although he feels like he's failing, she's always got a smile on her face and seems happy enough

so he'll keep doing what he's doing, despite it being less then conventional

of course he's worried, but it's safe today that he's starting to get used to being a family

he doesn't know what the future holds, but he'll damn sure fight for the privilege that will be watching Alpine grow into a healthy young adult

[nerves-nebula]

Are you ever you ever insecure about your art? And could you explain you answer to that?

Venting to you now

Drawing has taken a lot of effort for me, more than usual recently. I started working on something I originally felt really passionate about. It's more common for me to very quickly give up or get bored so I was really excited to be able to post some artwork. But I ended up not liking the result and I'm not sure if I'm willing to try something else. I've given up on trying in a lot of parts of life to try and save energy to do something I thought I was passionate about (art) but I am still lacking the motivation. The reason I reason I really wanted to share it was because I'm terrible with self-motivation. If I can't make at least one person genuinely go 'oh, neat' even for just a second and even if they soon forgot later, I'd feel like I'd have a reason to keep living (to keep making art). If the only people who'd see it end up disappointed I'd want to disappear.

It's not what art should be. I know it's value is like a person's. It's worth more than how someone reacts to it, right? But I can't apply that rule to myself. I should seek support from the people who 'know' and actually care about me, but I don't want their appreciation. I want some imagery status of a 'good artist' because that's what seems to give me dopamine.

I also wanted to mention how much I admire how open you are with your struggles. I want to be the same but I'm scared of people thinking less of me. I know that's dumb but I don't know what I'm good for if I can't make people happy. If I'm not going to be content with myself I want to not be a nuisance at least. I like to think that if I stopped caring about my impression on people, I'd be better off. But I'm scared that I'd have to learn to like myself. I don't like myself and I have no interest in liking myself. I don't see the point.

oh boy, this is gonna be a long one. also, don't take anything i say too seriously, i don't know your situation and I'm barely an adult. anyway, response under the cut

soo lately I'm less insecure about my art and more frustrated when things don't come out well. but i still post that shit !!! I'm still insecure if i'm doing, say, a project for homework, and i don't think i did as well as I could have, but in my personal artistic endeavors it's more about getting it done than it being perfect (for example, my webcomic! my motto is any comic made is better than no comic made and if people don't like that then it wasn't for them in the first place)

the thing about me is that drawing and art and stories is all i've ever had. it's my main form of interacting with the world. these days i make art the same way I live, which is to say in spite of wanting to kill myself. I would LIKE if my art was perfect, and i would LIKE to not be in pain. but i AM in pain and i have to live anyway, and my art ISN'T perfect but i'll make it anyway.

and i like when other people's art isn't perfect either, when it isnt super polished. I think that definitely helped. seeing artists whose work i fell head over heels for when it's never been more than sketches and a bit of shading. it really cemented in my mind that it isn't art being technically perfect that makes it worth while.

i've gotten a lot of people saying kind things to me, saying how much they enjoy my art and my blog in general. and though it doesn't always help, it sometimes inspires me to imagine the number of people who appreciate my stuff who might never mention it to me. I myself am used to lurking and not interacting very much (a habit I'm trying to change since I know artists & creators love feedback most of the time) i know it sucks to not know if anyone gives a shit for sure, but you really can't make that your only reason for doing art, cuz half the time you prolly wont even know if your art deeply affects people or not. it's fine to want that attention but you gotta have something else goin on too, at least I do.

i also know the fear of worrying that you'll lock yourself into something you don't want to do, or something you'll lose passion for. for me, I generally rotate a cast of characters & interests around for years a time before making significant progress. There were spans of times where I'd go years without thinking about loose stitches, but none of that time developing other stories & characters was wasted. it gave loose stitches enough time to properly cook, and the story is still developing under my hands as i draw it, influenced by my other stories and other characters.

it's ok to abandon something and pick it up again years later, or to never pick it up again at all. it's ok to hate the way something turns out but to keep making it anyway because you have to move forward (at least, I do)

moving forward despite not liking the original product is the only way to progress, I think. I don't super like a lot of the first pages of loose stitches but I'm still grateful that past-me posted them because that means present me is at page 76 !!

If I can't make at least one person genuinely go 'oh, neat' even for just a second and even if they soon forgot later, I'd feel like I'd have a reason to keep living (to keep making art). If the only people who'd see it end up disappointed I'd want to disappear.

the problem with this mindset (in my opinion) is that some people aren't going to like your art and that's got nothing to do with the art itself. if you want to find people who go "oh, neat" then you have to keep posting until they see it. trust me, they're out there. like, i don't post for people who can't stand the idea of child abuse, i post to FIND people who want to interact with stories about child abuse the same way i do.

it would be insane to stop trying to find those people because someone else was disappointed or upset by my art. which isn't to say you gotta lock yourself into doing one thing, but that you gotta post what you care about, and people who also care will find it. posting fandom stuff with the same themes as your original art certainly doesn't hurt either, if you REALLY want to find those people faster.

It's not what art should be. I know it's value is like a person's. It's worth more than how someone reacts to it, right? But I can't apply that rule to myself. I should seek support from the people who 'know' and actually care about me, but I don't want their appreciation. I want some imagery status of a 'good artist' because that's what seems to give me dopamine.

art should be literally whatever. it's worth is literally whatever you want, it can be a big deal or not. i'm not sure what part of being a "good artist" gives your brain the Good Feelings juice but I'd investigate that feeling more and try to figure out the roots of it, cuz then you might actually be able to figure out what it is that motivates you. approval is nice, yes, but i like approval for things i enjoyed making even more.

I also wanted to mention how much I admire how open you are with your struggles. I want to be the same but I'm scared of people thinking less of me. I know that's dumb but I don't know what I'm good for if I can't make people happy. If I'm not going to be content with myself I want to not be a nuisance at least. I like to think that if I stopped caring about my impression on people, I'd be better off. But I'm scared that I'd have to learn to like myself. I don't like myself and I have no interest in liking myself. I don't see the point.

i always find it amusing when people refer to my "struggles" if only because I don't really consider them that way. to me it's just like, a thing that happened that sucks. i don't consider myself "struggling" with it, even though I guess that's what's happening. also, let's be real here, it's not like I'm using my real name. this is an anonymous tumblr blog. though, my openess on here has actually lead to me making more art about it IRL so. eh.

anyway, lucky for you, you can stop caring about what other people think without necessarily liking yourself! for me, it's about spite (sort of). I don't like myself much more than I used to, I just decided I hated everyone else more haha. I still care what people think about me, and I'm still scared of what people might do to me, but I'm also not bending over backwards to please people i dislike. I just get annoyed at them instead.

i did this basically just by repeating it until it became true, lol. there's only so many times you can petulantly say "well fuck those guys anyway they suck" before it becomes your true first reaction.

at some point, i decided i needed to pick and choose who i wanted to please, because it can't be everyone. that's just literally not possible. so i looked at the kinds of people i liked and appreciated, and basically disregarded everyone else. it's the whole "don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from" thing (not sure where that comes from)

obviously you should probably try to internalize the idea that you even HAVE to be "good for something" but that's way easier said than done. i find it more useful to devote yourself to finding a few things (causes, people, philosophies, niche interests) instead of just general usefulness. because then you can form stronger relationships, be useful, AND not burn yourself out trying to please everyone.

take all this advice with a grain of salt though, I definitely need therapy and this Bitter Angry Defensive persona will probably need to be deconstructed soon... idk. i think it's outlived its usefulness to me but i'm not sure what to do next hahah.

sorry if none of this was helpful or the point. im not even sure why i wrote this much, i kind of just ramble sometimes. i hope you figure it out!

[randomnameless]

I don't think Douses is really church bad. Or at least it's not religion bad. The church gets reformed but its fine after that.

Are you talking about FE16, Nopes or in general anon?

I wouldn't say it's BaD "BaD "as if it was a game written by someone who is member or r/atheism -

Sure, Pat also Pat'd things here and there (remember that NPC whose entire family was destroyed at the whims of a noble, in the jp version she says something like even the Church couldn't do a thing, but in the Pat version, she says something like the Church "especially" didn't do a thing...) -

But the game itself, for all of the red herring nonsense it throws at the CoS/KoS, sometimes doesn't commit, and we end up with Seteth's solo ending where he reforms the Church and adopts a more tolerant stance :

Doing away with his old strictness, he adopted a tolerant stance toward all. His encouragement of believers to respect those of other faiths helped the people of Fódlan to find common ground with others

But we know the CoS already encouraged believers to respect people who have other faiths (this is legit one of the first things Seteth says in FEH, and in Nopes, Rhea reminds Catherine - someone who's not religious at all - of this fact).

Save for Mark the Nopes NPC, religion BaD from the Fodlan games comes in two forms : the script shitting on the CoS despite the games showing otherwise, and no one calls out the script or the words they're told to be nonsense (save for Mark and, iirc, another NPC in AG? The one who says he thought the CoS was a steaming piece of garbage, but when he interacted with them, he reconsidered?) + the fact the CoS itself, or its members, cannot even counter those accusations or nonsense because they don't have any screentime - special mention to Nopes!Seteth who says this in an expedition line :

What are the tenets he, a Saint who most likely was around during the CoS's creation, Rhea's right hand man and most likely her older brother, cannot defend?

It's the general writing of telling us some things are "sus", but we don't see what those "sus" things are. They just exist, so remember, Church not GoOd, or not entirely GoOd, and it needs to be reformed.

And the second form is obviously the way the CoS (and Faerghus, to an extent) is much more developed than the other entities - so yes, we learn how people of Faerghus targeted and tried to eradicate Duscur, much like the Serenes Forest incident from FE Tellius - but we will not hear with the same focal point anything about Adrestia's campaign against Brigid and Dagda, or how people from Brigid are treated in Adrestia - Cyril exists, but even FEH realised you can't really talk too much about Leicester, the less religious place in the continent, keeping slaves.

Adrestia and Leicester are treated with kiddies gloves and their "default" are relegated to a footnote, when Duscur is put at the forefront of the game, or at least some routes. As for the Church, it's sort of the same thing, the game(s) make a big show/event out of Rhea executing members of her organisation who tried to kill her (and killed students), or, Nopes wise, we see her sending assassins against Supreme Sailor Fuku -

While Claude terminating minor Leicester Nobles who are pissed at his power grab and the regime change is just a line thrown here (and used to diss the CoS/Kingdom who wanted to welcome them), and Supreme Sailor Fuku starting a war against the allies who helped her kick out the death cult who took root in her Empire is... never lampshaded. Ditto for sacking villages, monasteries, orphanages or, just, in general sending thousands to death to conquer the continent.

As for Religion BaD...

Well, while Supreme Leader, surprisingly, gets a meaningful support with Manu about this, I always thought the "mindless followers" thing or the "leaving Fate in the hands of a higher being insstead of relying on yourself" things were the "easy/first" arguments of people arguing, in obviously bad faith, on, say, r/atheism as to why religion BaD, as if being religious means you have no free will...

Granted, this topic teeters a bit too close to RL issues, so I'll drop it at that.

[words-words-worlds]

Something TF lore headcanons something

So I basically created my own silly lil lore stuff for how new mechs are brought about and created. It's not much, but it's something. I'm putting it all under a cut. But feel free to send in questions about anything that comes up! This is a WIP, after all, so I will be occasionally going back and adding things/making changes.

-General Idea-

Upon a batch creation of sparklings, an event called the Batching (or Batchening if you wanna get silly about it,) a guardian will be waiting to choose one or several sparklings. Once one or more guardians have chosen a sparkling or more to take care of, the sparkling(s) officially becomes "under the name" of said guardian(s). This is an open-to-interpretation or an emergency contact type relationship, in which case the guardians and mechs can be seen as a parent/child relationship, an older/younger sibling relationship, or, arguably the most common, a mentor/apprentice relationship. When you take someone under your name, some paperwork needs to be filled out as soon as possible so the sparkling can be registered as an official citizen.

-Created Without A Guardian-

When batches of young mechs/sparklings are created by Cybertron (for whatever purpose or reasons it has) and crawl out of the Depths of Cybertron, they are usually greeted by mechs looking for apprentices. Or, as mentioned before, the mech is looking for a child to raise as their own, or a sibling to look after. Each time a new batch is ready to emerge from the Depths, this event draws in mechs of all kinds in the area to watch, although most mechs are there to find a sparkling to take under the name. Sometimes sparklings find their way into places that aren't expecting them, or there are too many younglings for the amount of mentors. Sure, there are systems and agencies formed to help support mechs without guardians, but they shouldn't be completely relying on these systems as not every system is for every young mech. They are flawed, and not every system is infallible. These include adoption agencies (talked about in Other Options) and pairing agencies.

Pairing agencies, like adoption agencies, are designed to help pair sparklings to a mech or family of mechs. What makes the agencies different, however, is that pairing agencies typically aim more toward mentors looking for apprentices and apprentices looking for mentors. They are just as popular as adoption agencies; it just depends on what you're looking for.

-Other Options-

While most mechs attend the Batchening, some cannot make it or choose not to go. There are, however, two (2) main options for those wishing for a sparkling: adopting or producing one. Adoption is as it says; the mech(s) that wish to be a guardian must file the proper paperwork when adopting. Producing one, while possible, isn't always 100% guaranteed. There is a ~70% that this method does not work. This is why you'll be told by other mechs that attending the Batchening event or going through an adoption agency is the best choice of action. Some, however, are willing to take that risk.

My thoughts say it doesn't matter what resources you have, everyone has that same 70% failure tied to them. High-wealth cities are built more around the larger batching area(s), while poorer cities are in the "worse" batching areas, meaning they may possibly have to make a journey to the nearest high-wealth city/city-state. But by "worse" that just means that there are few sparklings as compared to the high-wealth cities. You'll likely have to make a journey if you're in the "worst of the worst" areas where there's no access to a batching area at all.

Having more sparklings under your name is mainly a sign of wealth. It shows others that you have the funds and the resources to raise more than one, and having more than one is seen as a good thing…for those with the wealth and/or social status to do so.

-Being Removed From Being Under The Name-

While there are many reasons you can be put under the name of a guardian, there are just as many reasons you can be removed from being under the name. The most common reasons are: (1) the guardian(s) thinks you are ready to take care of yourself on your own or (2) your guardian doesn't want to or can't take of you (such as due to lack of funds.) If the sparkling is still young, such as fresh out of the Depths, to take them out from under the name, some paperwork must be filled out beforehand.

-Extra-

Sparklings are created gray at first to which they either develop color or paint themselves to express themselves. They are also created as mostly mature beings with no life experience. This would be the human equivalent of a teenager around 16 or 17 years old. But, if two (2) or more mechs manage to successfully produce a sparkling, the sparkling in question would be the human equivalent of a small child around 7 to 8 years old.

[korrasera]

Right, but the point of this discussion was talking about killing being wrong on moral grounds and how people who say that killing is actually right (ethically correct that is) when it comes to certain targets are wrong and are doing leftism wrong.

Even when it's someone who you have a lot of pretty good reasons to want to see come to harm, violating their bodily autonomy is still an unethical act. And we know from plenty of evidence through...(checks)...all of human history, stripping people of their bodily autonomy is unethical, even when it's something that can't be avoided. The 'at best it's a bad thing being done to avoid future bad' frame.

Something being wrong on moral grounds doesn't stop people from doing it, which means the pushback you see in the notes is coming from people who feel judged when I say that killing is unethical. Doesn't matter that I'm not saying they're bad people, just that I'm illustrating how the act itself is unethical. That's not a rational reaction to the discussion, it's an emotional one.

As for the practical discussion, I think you're making some unsupported assumptions to arrive at your conclusion.

First, talking about the philosophy isn't an appeal to an abstract view of what the world should be. It's an analysis of the world as it is. Killing is always going to be the intentional infliction of harm that violates the principle of bodily autonomy. What changes is whether or not it can be avoided thanks to robust social structure.

Second, you assume there's no other way to deal with some problems. That's not true, at all. Starbucks forming a union will do more to oppose the power of the billionaires that fund Starbucks than killing any one of them would ever do. And it's by making those kinds of social changes, building bottom-up community networks and engaging in organizing, that makes real change.

Third, you're assuming that killing a billionaire can solve the problem that you're posing. That's not true either, because you're talking about a systemic issue as though it's an individual one. Not only is it not possible to kill all billionaires, any that are killed will be replaced and you'll have done nothing to address why billionaires exist. If you can't end the exploitation, their deaths are almost meaningless. And no, you cannot kill enough of them to collectively traumatize people out of wanting to be billionaires.

Fourth, courts don't work very well, sure. But they work a lot better than they used to. They're not completely corrupt tools of authority, they're imperfect tools that we haven't fully built yet. If they have no power as a tool of the people, capitalists and authoritarians wouldn't be trying to hard to seize control of them. Assuming that they are unable to do anything completely ignores the way that we've used them to make a lot of strides to support liberty and justice and fight corruption and malfeasance. I mean...we've never put a former president on trial before and yet it's happening right now. In several different jurisdictions.

Fifth, the reason I mentioned lynching above is because any plan to kill billionaires in self-defense is pretty much certain to go poorly because mob justice is even worse than court justice, that's one of the reasons why it's such a bad idea. It's a logical fallacy to say that it's the only option because that ignores literally everything else that people do to bring about an end to capitalism.

It's possible you might have a decent argument to make for it being self-defense, but don't let yourself get stuck thinking that violence, and particularly violent revolution, is the only way to address problems. It's a form of myopia. Just because violence is a tool that is sometimes unavoidable doesn't mean it's a good tool or one suited to the task.

"they deserve to die" is something you should never hear a leftist say. if you do, run

[fayevalcntine]

I’ll never understand why r*gan fans love dragging Jess by using the fact that he dropped out of high school as some counter-argument whenever the scene where he yells at Rory over dropping out of Yale comes up. 

Aside from the obvious reasons being that: 1) Stars Hollow high school seemed to have absolutely no problem having a kid drop out, and apparently no one ever seemed to have thought of informing Luke that Jess is skipping class, he somehow had to figure this out by himself 2) that he had zero confidence in ever amounting into anything, and knew that Luke allowing him to stay there wouldn’t last forever (we all know that Luke didn’t really mean to throw him out if he didn’t finish high school but Jess never knew this. His own mother threw him out for him to live with an uncle he never even personally knew that much, so how could he trust that Luke wasn’t being serious when he said that he ‘had to go’ when Jess refused to stay any longer in Stars Hollow) 3) he never argues with Rory about this because he considers it what “~~his version of her would’ve done”, or because he somehow feels that she is now inferior, but because she is the complete opposite of him in many things, particularly in her love of academia. Rory loves school, she loves excelling and most of all she wanted to go to Yale as part of her greater plan to become a journalist. She had an entire life plan mapped out in front of her, while he didn’t. And despite everything, he knew this and valued that about her.  I also feel like it’s very funny (as in pretty infuriating), how r*gan fans love to shit on Jess and Lorelai for arguing with Rory over her decision about Yale while never stopping to understand how their own situation went when it came to education. Lorelai had a baby at 16 and ran away from home to become a maid, and considering how we never hear about her going back while she was pregnant or getting a GED, and how she studied to get a degree while Rory was 16, you can safely bet she got her own GED after she already had Rory and wasn’t taking care of a newborn baby while living in a shed. Jess on the other hand, was dropped out without any warnings or second chances, and instead of being given an alternative solution (as in, getting a GED), Luke tells him he needs to go if he’s not planning on repeating a full year of high school. Both of them didn’t finish high school properly and Lorelai got a degree for higher education from a business school, not a prestigious university such as Yale. So both of them know what it’s like to have to pursue your education while either working for money or also having to take care of a kid. This is why Lorelai panics over Rory saying she’s not going back, because she knows how easily some other things can come in the way of Rory ever even finishing her education. And yes, you can argue that Rory’s situation is different, that she has a secure home regardless of whether she’s living with Lorelai or not, but here’s the thing: neither Jess or Lorelai had one. So, if it can be this easy for you to understand Rory’s situation (and continually praise Logan for not doing....anything to help her out while she was obviously missing Yale and still feeling insecure in her own capabilities), I think it can also be pretty easy to understand where Jess and Lorelai are coming from when they confront Rory over her decision.

[sugamamacustard]

Feed Me

Pairing: Alpha! Keiji Akaashi X Omega! Reader, Alpha! Wakatoshi Ushijima x Omega! Reader, Alpha! Rintaro Suna x Omega! Reader

Genre: Fluff

Request: Ooooo what about when Alphas 🐘 ( maybe akaashi, ushijima, rin and kuroo) find out that their omega has not been eating enough like (their only eating little things like granola bars or fruit) so their upset that they had to find out through someone else and they scold them for that but then their told that they have gain some weight and that gets them even more upset because they think their perfect etc.

Summary: Some times, people do things because it’s what they think is best. You don’t tell your alpha about some weight gain you’ve noticed, and try taking care of it yourself because of this.

Author’s Note: Hey, you. Yeah you. The beautiful person reading this? You are perfect. You are worth it. Your feelings are valid and you shouldn’t feel bad about having them. You are so amazing, and even if I don’t know you, I am so proud of you. You are so strong for making it so far. Keep going. Never change. :) Also your nice comments? Literally my dose of serotonin

did I mention my OC one or twice? Yes. Am I sorry? No. Also, idk if anyone is curious, but Yuka doesn't actually go to Shiritorizawa but whatever.

Requests: Closed!

Buy me a coffee?

Trigger Warning: Mentions of (Semi?) Starvation.

Keiji Akaashi

➵Now, Keiji is pretty on top of omega and significant other care.

➵ Like, weirdly so. It's honestly kind of creepy?

➵ In an endearing way.

➵ He always says 'Bokuto-Kun prepared me in a way.'

➵ Honestly, he loves doing this for you too!

➵He loves caring for you so much.

➵ Like I firmly believe Akaashi's love language is acts of service.

➵ So things like bringing you food, leaving sweet notes in your locker, helping you with your homework.

➵ He lives for doing these things.

➵ Especially feeding you snacks and things.

➵ It made his inner alpha purr because that meant he was caring for you. Providing for you.

➵ Being the very thing that made him worthy of an alpha.

➵ Prove that he could continue being the alpha you needed and wanted.

➵ Unfortunately, there were downsides.

➵ Your hips had the beginnings of small love handles, a little more chub on you tummy, thighs a little squishier.

➵ Let's not lie, Keiji absolutely adored this, by the way.

➵ I also think one of his biggest kinks is praise

➵ He makes sure you know how loved and how perfect you are.

➵ It's sometimes hard to believe him though.

___

"Y/N?"

You hummed an acknowledgment at Keiji's call, typing the final words to your essay before turning to look at your beautiful alpha- Sometimes you questioned how you hooked him. His gorgeous emerald eyes shining with love and adoration.

"I'm gonna go run and pick up some supper, what would you like beloved?" He came up to squeeze and massage your shoulders, leaning down as he pressed a small peck to your temple, your purr a sweet melody to his ears.

You swallowed behind your purr, trying to hide the small panic in your eyes. Your mind instantly flashed to your reflection this morning, how you pinched your hips with a frown. You already had been slowing down on the snacks, and fast food made you shiver.

"I-I'm okay for now, Keiji. Thank you though." You smiled, nonetheless, holding Keiji's cheek in your hand. He quirked a brow, frowning slightly before nodding lowly. Another peck was pressed to your cheek before he left, ordering your favorite from the diner he took you to for your first date.

-

"Beloved, I'm back." Keiji called, once more tearing you away from your essay; you were always thankful for the distraction though. He set down the take out bag, taking out the top box and handing it to you before shrugging off his jacket.

"Keiji? I said I was okay-"

"I didn't believe you. Now come on, you need to take a break and I'm touch starved." The raven didn't even look behind at you before pulling out his own box, dragging your rolley-chair to the bed. He pulled his sweater over his head, handing that to you as well before giving you a sweet peck.

His eyes locked with yours. Your breath hitched. So many silent words swam in his eyes, asking you, demanding you, to tell you what was wrong.

"I just- I've gained a little weight lately and-"

"And? My love, you are just as gorgeous as the day I met you. Nothing is wrong with a little weight, even if I think you're foolish to think you've gained weight. Never think otherwise. Even if you do, let me know, my job as your alpha and boyfriend is to make sure you feel as good as possible no matter what."

He slipped the sweater over your head, rehanding you your meal that he took from you momentarily, running a hand through your hair.

"Your my beautiful omega. Nothing should keep you from your happiness."

Wakatoshi Ushijima

➵Unlike Akaashi, Wakatoshi is little more...Hesitant (In a way) when it comes to omegan care.

➵ He never really learned how to? Ya know?

➵ Both his parents were alphas, and he was never around omegas consistently enough to learn.

➵and it's not like you were a volleyball that he could use the same techniques to up-keep.

➵ He also couldn't ask his team.

➵ Well, he could, but only one other person on his team had an omega. (It was Satori and his advice, though helpful, could only go so far.)

➵ He was doing good though, especially with you holding his hand through the entire thing.

➵ The first time he noticed something was up was when you didn't show up to lunch-- texting him a picture of you in the library, tongue poking out as you held up a peace sign to assure him you were okay.

➵ When he brought it up to Satori, who had his own omega (A small, but fiery brunette named Yuka) leaning on his side as she played some sort of phone game on his phone (Mama's slusheria? He thinks?) .

➵He explained he didn't know what was going on with you while Satori listened with a hum before giving him a sad smile. "Sorry I can't help you further Ushi-waka, but as you can see-" He slid his unfinished lunch towards Yuka, who popped one of the Dango skewers into her mouth without looking up. "I'm not very familiar with the problem."

➵ He offered his help as much as he could nonetheless.

➵ He slowly began to pick up on smaller things, locking them in his steel trap.

➵ Like a good boy :)

➵ He put hours of research into omegas after this (not that he hadn't previously). Keeping strenuous notes beside him.

➵ They were colorful and highlighted :)

➵ And he followed the advice that 'Mommy Luna-boo' posted on the blog he found like a goddamn Mantra. ('Sometimes Omegas need a little more love! Their bodies, especially during high school years, will change a lot! They may feel a little down! As an alpha, make sure you remind them how beautiful they are!')

➵She was mother Theresa and he was her follower.

➵ Well after he followed you.

➵and after he made sure you were feeling better

___

"Omega?"

"Toshi."

Walking into your dorm room, Wakatoshi set down a small bag filled with goodies. He set it down on your bed as he sat down as well, watching you carefully.

When you gave him a small smile with a quirked brow, he took a deep breath, remembering everything Tendou had coached him through.

"Have you been eating enough lately?"

You sucked your tongue at the question, shuffling your shoulders. Truth be told you had been missing out on a few lunches after noting a few extra pounds you hadn't noticed earlier. You never meant to worry him, that was never your intention, but it seemed the world was working against you. You had no clue where to go from here. If you told him the truth that would do nothing but worry him, but lying was never good in any form of relationship.

Your hesitance to tell him was more than enough though, as his larger lands encased your own, holding them tightly.

"Why?" His tone wasn't accusatory nor was it angry in the slightest. Genuine curious if anything. If he could get to the bottom of the root of the problem, he could prevent it from happening in the future. Right?

"I- I just...Noticed a few extra pounds and-"

"That's it?"

You looked up to him with a tilted head, like a lost puppy. "What do you mean that's it?"

Pulling you closer, Wakatoshi effortlessly pulled you onto his lap, using one hand to dig through the bag beside him while the other wrapped around your hips. He pulled out a few of your favorite snacks laying them out in front of you.

"That's, in my opinion, a silly thing to worry about. If you feel that's a big problem, I can offer my services to you in any way you wish-- whether it be support or as help, it is my job to be there for you." He nuzzled your scent gland, voice rumbling against your shoulders.

You purred in response, leaning back onto your alpha.

Rintaro Suna

➵ Suna is a lot like Akaashi in the sense that he has incredible observational skills as an alpha.

➵ His eyes are like sniper scopes.

➵ The minute something is wrong, he's on it.

➵ Like he looks aloof but he's not.

➵ He had notes.

➵ So hiding something from him is not easy at all.

➵ But you two most likely ended up together because you gave him a run for his money.

➵ You made him work at being an alpha.

➵ And he loved you for that.

➵ It did come back to bite him in the ass though.

➵ The only reason he heard about this was because the betas at Inarizaki were loud mouths.

➵ Honestly he learned so much tea from them.

➵ Like this third year was sleeping with a first year because she planned on baby trapping him and-

➵ It was wild.

➵Though most times it was nothing more than a source of entertainment for you and him to laugh about.

➵This time the gossip was actually useful.

➵ He wasn't thrilled they were talking about you, but provided some very useful information.

➵ And he was set into action.

➵ typing a few things onto his phone he set out to find you.

___

"Rin, I said I'm not hungry-"

"I know and I'm making the executive decision to ignore you."

He squinted his eyes at the carefully written instructions in front of him, sending a silent thanks to Atsumu's mate Haruka. (;)) She had written a step by step instruction sheet to making Onigiri while also dropping off all the ingredients (Pre-prepped). The only reason she didn't make it was because Suna's alpha, no matter how much he trusted her, wouldn't have let it near you.

"Rintato-"

"Look, Y/N. I love you, you know that. You know a lot of things, you're my smart little omega. So you must also know this isn't good, right?" Sliding a plate of, albeit mediocre, onigiri towards you, Rintaro focused his gaze on you.

"You know this, eh?"

You swallowed before grabbing one of the triangles, nibbling on the top in an attempt to appease your alpha. His sharp gaze still focused on you, making you shiver as he rounded around the counter. He turned you around so you were facing him, his hands holding your hips.

"You know this."

You wilted under his expectant gaze, knowing what he wanted from you. "I know this."

He smirked, leaning to take bite from your snack, licking his lips as he did. "Good omega."

"Rintaro that's mine!"

[mirclealignr]

Regulus Black Fluff Alphabet

regulus x gn! reader

requested by anon

warnings; brief mentions of food and anxiety

from this alphabet

A - Affection; how they like to show their love.

Regulus does a lot through touch and reassuring looks/smiles. He finds it hard sometimes to express just how he feels about you, especially considering expressions of love were severely lacking in his life. But when he holds your hand or caresses your face, he feels as if he's spilling all his secrets, and hopes that you understand them.

B - Beauty; what do they especially admire about you?

Your warmth. At first it was practically disarming, but overtime he learned to embrace it and miss it when it was absent, when you were absent. It would be so different to what he was used to, especially with the people closest to him. But he would adore the change that was you.

C - Cuddles; how they like to cuddle you.

Most of the time he likes to have his arms around you, sitting up slightly while you lay against his chest. There's a sense of safety he finds in knowing that you can hear his heartbeat and that it doesn't scare you off. But sometimes, he likes it when you take him in your arms and he can nuzzle in the crook of your neck.

D - Dancing; their favourite place to dance with you.

He is simply a hopeless romantic, and loves to dance with you when it's dark and raining outside, when the two of you are almost completely alone. He loves watching you smile as the rain seeps into your clothes and dampens your hair, and when you rest your head on his chest for some shelter.

E - Excitement; do they get excited with you about things?

Regulus likes to understand things before he gets excited about them with you. If you come running to him with an elated expression and start rambling about whatever brought you this pleasure, he'd want to know why. He'd want to understand you and relate to you. Almost always, he'd become just as excited as you.

F - First Date; your first date together.

The Astronomy Tower. Regulus would want to be alone with you, without prying or judging eyes. It wouldn't be much, maybe some snacks and a drink he brought for you, but he would want to hear you talk and laugh and to see you smile. He'd want to know your likes and dislikes, the memories you cherished, and things you looked back on and laughed at.

G - Goals; do they have things they want to achieve? Do they include you in these things?

For Regulus, his future goals remain largely unclear. Before you, he thought it was simple, but afterwards it would become far more complicated. With the weight of his family, and Sirius' abandonment making it heavier, he would often try to avoid the thought. But if you ever brought it up, he'd tell you that wherever you were, he would be.

H - Honesty; how open are they with you?

Very. Trust is something extremely important to him. While he may not tell you everything the second it happens, he does have every intention of letting you see every side of him, even the parts he wished would vanish from existence. Upon getting to know you, the trials of his family would be revealed slowly, rather than all at once, so he didn't overwhelm you. Of course, he'd be terrified, but he knew it was better that way, and he knew that you would love him all the same.

I - I Love You; do they say it a lot? did they say it first?

Regulus does not say it first, though he'd be sure he felt it first. He confesses straight after you, though, and gradually says it more and more over time. Expressing his feelings would not come easy, and sometimes, rather than tell you how much he appreciated you for listening or how beautiful he thought you were, he simply said 'I love you' in replacement, hoping that it would be enough.

J - Jealousy; do they get jealous?

Not necessarily jealous, but rather insecure. When he sees you laughing with someone else, he'd wonder whether they were better suited to you--they were warmer, more free, happier. Perhaps he brought you down, perhaps he weighed you down, and though he didn't express these insecurities out loud, he'd always seem to be easily read by you. And you'd always be there to reassure him when you needed to.

K - Kiss; their favourite place to kiss you.

Your hands. For Regulus, hands mean so much, represent so much, and yours are his to kiss and hold as much as he pleases. To him it would feel incredibly intimate, despite the fact that your hands can touch others, but that they're only his to kiss and hold. People can always get close, but never as close as he can.

L - Little Spoon; who’s the little spoon?

The majority of the time, you are the little spoon. He likes the idea that he is able to protect you, actually make you feel safe and wanted; it's one of the things he prides himself on. But, there woulds be times when he needed to feel that, and revelled in the warmth of your embrace tightening around him, holding him close.

M - Melody; what’s your song together?

I think your song together would be 'I Want to Hold Your Hand' by The Beatles.

N - Nicknames; do they use nicknames for you?

Yes a few. Some of them would include 'treasure' and/or 'my treasure' because he adores you and could not think of anything better than you. For him, you are what people search for their whole lives, sometimes without ever finding it. And, because he speaks French, ‘mon chéri /ma chérie' for definite.

O - Open Book; how hard was it to get to know them?

It wasn't necessarily hard, just gradual. However, you would have always suspected that Regulus did not have it easy and were content with him going at his own pace, and appreciating that he was brave enough to reveal it all to you. It never seemed too slow, rushed, or overwhelming--he picked his timings well and never let things become too heavy. He'd also be very conscious that everyone had their own burdens, and would make sure he always left time and room for you to air anything you wanted or needed.

P - PDA; how affectionate they are in public.

Not very much at all. He prefers to show you his love when it's just the two of you. But he isn't afraid to let other people know that you're in a relationship, and will often intertwine his fingers with yours, whisper things in your ear, and kiss your temple.

Q - Quirk: a weird but loveable trait of theirs.

He never signs his name, he always signs R.A.B. Even when it's small notes to you, little love letters, or ordinary letters, he will never sign it as Regulus, but with his full initials.

R - Romance; how romantic are they?

So much. He loves leaving you love notes, writing love letters to you, slow dancing with you, playing music for you, watching the stars with you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear, snuggling up in bed with you with a good book. He loves to do it all.

S - Secrets; do they keep secrets from you?

Not really. Perhaps only ones he thinks would unnecessarily hurt you, like what his family says about you. He doesn't tell you because he doesn't think it matters, they don't matter to him, only you do, and he wants their words to mean nothing.

T - Thrill; do they like to keep the relationship new and exciting?

He likes to, and he tries. He certainly likes surprising you, even if only to see that smile. He likes taking you places, learning your favourite songs on the piano simply because you like hearing them, taking you on spontaneous trips or dates. He's not on for grand, public gestures, but he still keeps excitement in the relationship his own way. But he also knows when things need to be slow and calm, and doesn't mind it either way.

U - Understanding; how they comfort/support when you’re upset or anxious.

He knows that most things said would be wrong, even if they were intended to be reassuring and understanding. Even when you talk about what's bothering you or don't, it can be hard to say the right thing. So instead, he takes you in his arms, rubs your back, kisses your cheek and gets you any comfort foods that you wish for. Sometimes, words speak far less than actions.

V - Vexed; how easily they lose their temper.

With his family, and even with Sirius, Regulus can lose his temper very quickly, but you understand that their relationship has not been easy, nor do you care for his family. With you, it's rare that he loses his temper or raises his voice at you. When he does, there are usually other factors that have contributed to his mood, and he is quick to apologise afterwards.

W - Weakness; what’s their weakness what it comes to you?

Your smile. So easily it can make him feel like he's falling from the stars, watching the constellations become smaller and smaller as he slips into the earth's atmosphere, burning and smiling and falling completely in love with you every time he sees it.

X - Xtra; random hc about them.

Regulus likes to speak in French to you when there are things he is too afraid to say or things he thinks sound more romantic when said in another language. Even if you can understand him, there's something less nerve-racking about saying it in French, it's almost like he's playing himself in another world, but still hopelessly in love with you.

Y - Years to Come; how they imagine your future together.

He doesn't like to think about the future often because he knows how easily it can change and fail to meet your expectations. He only hopes that he is with you, facing whatever is to come. He prefers to focus on the present, where he already is with you.

Z - Zzz; how they are when they sleep.

Incredibly still, almost scarily still. The only time he moves is to be closer to you, closer to your exuding warmth. It almost frightens you to move in case it wakes him or disturbs him, but if it does, he never lets on. - - - fill in this form or send an ask to be added to a tag list <3 forever friends; @myalupinblack / @selenes-sun / @vixxiann /@queen-asteria04 / @lillict / @savingpluto /@theincredibledeadlyviper / @pad-foots / @fizzleberries / @willowbleedsonpaper / @kinkyduuh harry potter; @fuckingbloodyhello / @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts / @scvrllet / @dreamerinthesun / @crazy-beautiful / @chaoticgirl04 /@cupids-crystals / @fandom-life-12 / @mypainistemporary-blog /@oliverwoodmarrymepls / @eunoniaa / @missryerye marauders era; @spxllcxstxr / @natashxromanovfreads / @ch /@sereinegemini / @helen-with-an-a / @sweeter-than-strawberries /@spxncervibes regulus black; @jackys-stuff-blog / @with-love-anu / @yinrose98 /@tarorootboba / @lyaseille / @bloodblossom73

[sillybayo]

I agree with you on the possible reason why Miki and Juri reacted and how rape culture works now that you have mentioned it, that really could be the case and its a great point to make considering how Ohtori Academy is. And I did misremember some things about Saionji. But I also feel like you missed my point on a few things :<? It could really just be my fault since I didn't go back to reread and edit my post. But for example, with the steven universe reference, I didn't mean to compare utena to it or anything. I used that scene and fan interpretation as examples to further uplift my point of black rose sword pulling having similar themes and feelings when it comes to rape such as domination, but its not exactly rape itself, and how the fans/some utena characters view it as just that right off the bat. This is like how I used the scream movie scenes to support my thoughts on the general idea of the sword being a long, pointed, object that you thrust into people. Neither of these points are irrelevant, they help with my theory.

What I'm getting at is that swords are like,, a form of projection for the wielder. It doesn't just mean one thing exactly, which is why I say "desire" so loosely, and why I applied it to different situations and contexts. Swords and duels are generally a way to push an idea, or get what you want. Its a tool and a battle over an idea, and whoever gets the rose torn off their chest, loses whats dear to them or gets proven wrong.

Also, you could dislike someone and still pick up on a few things from their mindset and actions. Subconsciously, yeah, but its still there. Sorry that I wasn't clear, but I don't directly mean Juri is attracted to Anthy or anything. I mean shes attracted to that idea.

And I don't recall implying that Utena is still using patriarchy when she uses the sword powerup with Anthy? Nor did I deny that what Anthy is doing when she gave Touga the powerup is definitely sexual? Did I misread what you said?

I must also say that while characters do deserve to heal, and anyone could be a rapist,,, how do I put this into words. Once again, you're right, and its something that fits into how Ohtori Academy is ruled by Akio. But from a writing perspective, making your child character whos just morally gray become a full on rapist undeniably feels wrong. You could say that its realistic, and you'd be right. Nobody in utena is perfect. But to make your morally gray character whos only a young teenager do something so unforgivable, is just a writing choice I refuse to believe is intentional. Especially with the way that the black rose duelists forget everything, and the way the black rose sheaths are never at the very least conflicted about them in terms of the sword pulling event. Yes, it was their first sexual encounter, and they could enjoy it even if it was forced. But once again, its a writing decision that I can't see as intentional due to the way its not brought up again or brought into question at all. No side eye, no mention of it happening again, no questioning of their relationship, no signs of being even slightly uncomfortable around them, no confrontation scene at least somewhat similar to Anthy and Akio, nothing at all.

And thats why I say that it doesn't match well with the way rgu writes rape. Theres always something pointing to how a character feels, to something as bizarre as Nanamis facial expressions, to the way the camera pans to Anthy while someone is speaking, to the way Akio places his hand on Utena while Chu Chu messes with something, and she goes "Stop that."

Do you get what I'm saying? I hope you do. Once again its likely my fault because I didn't go back to rewrite some parts of my ramble, and I only just started rewatching the apocalypse arc, and I'm purely going off of my memory. And its hard for me to put something so symbolic and varied into words. I rely on examples to prove my point because concepts in my head are hard to type sometimes. So I hope this all simmers in your mind, and that you understand my analysis a little better

Bayo's Black Rose Arc Analysis

Some notes before I begin:

-This ramble/essay contains heavy discussions of CSA, general sexual themes, and incest. Also, keep in mind that the characters discussed here are 12-17. While I will be looking into how sex affects them mentally and such, I will not tolerate child sexualization here. I will block anyone who makes a single weird comment or make me uncomfortable. We'll be talking about this from a pure psychological standpoint.

-This is a thought dump rather than anything formal, so I won't be dropping episode titles or numbers. I'm also going purely off of memory, and things I said in group chats. So if things lack clarity, this is why.

-I'm not saying I "cracked the black rose arc code" or anything, this is purely my interpretation that I wish to share, due to not seeing many black rose analysis', and being displeased with what some people have said and concluded. I just want to put what I think out there for others to enjoy :3.

-To avoid being repetitive and cluttered, I'll be generally referring to any character who pulls swords out as "wielders", and any character who has had a sword pulled out of them as "sheaths". Any scene where this transpires will be called a "sheathing scene."

-Once again, due to the material of this analysis, I will be blocking anyone who sexualizes the characters in notes, or anyone who I see as creepy.

With that out of the way, let us begin :3!

So I was watching rgu video essays one day, and I stumbled across one about Miki. About halfway or late into the video, they begin talking about how Miki and Kozue had sex in the black rose arc, due to the way she touched him before the sheathing scene, and the way he turned beet red when Nanami asked how it felt for the sword to be taken out. And I thought it made sense at the time, as I was still new to utena, and I only watched it once. And the allegory is clearly there in other black rose sheathing scenes (besides with utenanthy), right?

But then I thought about it more when I rewatched the juriori black rose episode a year or so later, and caught Juri blushing when Nanami asked her the same question. And...wait. Because doesn't all of the black rose sheathing scenes look..uncomfortable? The sheath cries in pain as the sword comes out of their chest, and Wakaba even forced it out of Saionji. And this weirded me out, because why would a show thats so clearly against rape of any kind go on to write something like this? Why did Miki and Juri blush about something that was so forceful? And even if they were under a mind controlled like state, why would they write the wielders to be rapists? With the way rgu writes sex and rape, it didn't seem right, y'know?

So a few months later, when I decided to continue my rewatch and reached the Wakaba black rose arc episode, thats when I truly started to think about it more. And thats when I reached a conclusion: Miki and Juri are more influenced by Touga and Saionji than they realize. And by extension, they're all influenced by Akio.

You see, Touga and Saionji clearly view Anthy as someone to be sexualized. Shes their wife, who would fulfill their every request. Even though they might not know Anthys and Akios relationship, and/or how the latter treats her, this is an undeniable shared mindset.

Even though the boys and Utena uses Anthy as a sheath in the exact same ways on the outside, you know that when its with Touga and Saionji, its sexualized. They own her. When Touga demands Anthy to kiss his sword, it feels so off that Utena couldn't bare to watch. You could argue that its because it would hurt Anthys lips, but in later episodes its clear that it isn't the issue, as Utena uses the same powerup but in a more supportive fashion rather than sexual. So whats up with that?

I say; in (most of) the wielders view, the sword is like a penis.

I know, a very silly thing to say. But I don't mean exactly. And I, of course, don't mean literally.

Do you know that scene from the scream movie, where the two guys are stabbing each other, begging for it and all? It definitely has sexual undertones, because of the mood set by the characters, and heres where I'm getting at; the idea of a long pointed object being thrusted in you.

What I think is that Anthy is so sexualized by the student council, that the idea of a simple sword being pulled out of her 14 year old south asian brown girl chest, is arousing.

So when each of the student council members become sheaths themselves, of course they think that its one of the most sexually intimate things to experience. And its so stupid, right? Its just a sword. a SWORD.

And I shouldn't be referring to the student council so generally, because Nanami is the only one who sees through this. As far as I remember, she wasn't weird in the slightest when she was Tsuwabukis sheath. And even in the apocalypse arc, shes uncomfortable when Touga kisses her, and disturbed when walking in on Akio and Anthy (but then again I haven't rewatched that episode yet, so I could be wrong). She purely meant to ask how the sword felt, with no sexual intent. Miki and Juri were just pure idiots on that part.

So then, wait, if the sword pulling in the black rose arc wasn't a metaphor for rape, then what is it?

Well, I argue that it black rose wielders follow the same mindset as some sexual assaulters when they're under the effects of Mikages reverse therapy, in a way. Its the strong feeling of thinking the sheath owes the wielder something, and that the wielder deserves it no matter what they say.

Another reference to a different piece of media, but remember when its revealed that Pearl continued to fuse with Garnet for her own personal wants, which crossed Garnets boundaries? People interpreted that scene as Pearl raping Garnet, when....no. What? Of course she isn't. Its just the general idea of your wishes being disrespected, and boundaries ignored. Do you see where I'm going with this?

The black rose wielders see something in the sheaths that they want for themselves, whether it be their love, their attention, or some secret third thing. So with nothing but entitlement and desperation in their heart, they force the sword out of their hearts, where their desires lie.

But, wait. How about other scenes with swords? Like when Anthy is Utenas sheath, and when Anthy has a thousand swords stabbed into her? Do swords still represent desire?

Well, yes! Very easily. Utena fights for the pure sake of love and friendship. She fights Saionji when hes cruel to Wakaba, and she swears to protect Anthy with all her heart. She duels with the strongest ounce of care in her soul. Thats the desire to keep her loved ones happy.

What about when Anthy what continuously impaled? Well, that was the villages desire to get to the prince. And it was Akios desire to finally revolutionize the world after so long.

I may be missing a few scenes, but this is the general idea, and I hope I got the idea across. Thats the end of my little ramble :3. As an acespec hypersexual, I already spend a lot of time deconstructing the truth behind sexual things and feelings. So this was fun to think about. I hope y'all liked this, and understood it most importantly. Toodleeess

[its-not-a-phase-mom-i-d8-demons]

pairings: Lucifer x Fem!Reader, Mammon x Fem!Reader, Leviathan x Fem!Reader

warnings: tw abandonment (but it turns out okay, I promise), mentions of the act of birthing,

A/N: you came to the right place! as the second oldest of six children, I have some experience when it comes to pregnancy:) I hope you don't mind, nonny, but I'm gonna split this up into a few parts so I can do the dateables as well!

Lucifer

The moment you had shyly produced the positive pregnancy test from the pocket of your hoodie, it felt like Lucifer had entered into a fever dream filled with nursery designs, baby names, the expenses that pile up before the baby even arrives, researching human pregnancy, keeping you out of harm's way and healthy and happy...

So when you first stagger out of bed and rush to his bathroom, hand clamped over your mouth and one shaky hand on your slightly swollen tummy, Lucifer isn't surprised

He is very concerned, however. You had been so nervous to tell him of your pregnancy, you waited until the last moment before your bump was noticeable to tell him

That meant you had been suffering from all of these pregnancy side effects before he'd permanently moved you to sleep in his room

Lucifer hoists himself out of bed and pads into the bathroom, gathering up your hair, if any, into his fist and pulling your hunched form between his legs for support

You hate this feeling with a passion; throbbing stomach and a lump in your throat with little to no vertigo and tears rolling down your face as you try and catch your breath

You tell him it hurts, you ask him if he can take the pain away as your head rests on his chest, lashes fluttering with wooziness

Lightheadedness was unbearably common; you would suddenly grip his sleeve and he could watch the color drain from your face and your knees get shaky, body beginning to sway

He always catches you though, finding a place for you to sit or lie down and gather yourself

Tummy rubs become more common; the feeling of his hands against your bare tummy, spreading their warmth and nullifying the ache, allowing you to relax

He's extremely attentive as well and can tell whenever you need something

Water? Here's a cup sweetheart, remember, you're hydrating and eating for two people!

Craving something? Chocolate? Fried pickles? Chips of some kind? sweets? He's stockpiled anything you could want and locked it away just for you.

I feel like Lucifer would want your baby to be a little girl. A little princess he can carry on his shoulders and spoil with his love and gifts.

Satan ruined him for having another baby boy, but if that's how the cards fall, he certainly wouldn't mind. Unfortunately, he'd be constantly walking on eggshells, afraid he'll make your little boy into another rebellious child

That's the last thing he wants

Lucifer does his best to keep his kid away from Satan and Belphie and out of the 'Formerly Anti-Lucifer League', but sometimes you're taking a nap or out shopping with Asmodeus, and Satan and his brothers manage to coerce the little one into their shenanigans

One thing is for sure though, even if Lucifer didn't want any kids and the creation of one was unplanned, he would never ever turn you away

He's very responsible and does anything in his power to make the pregnancy as easy and happy as possible

On the day you are to give birth, he's a mess

He has already sweat through 3 shirts by the time the IV has been secured to your hand

Everything he says doesn't come without a stutter

He's squeezing your hand and kissing your hair during labor, trying to distract you from the burn between your legs as much as he can

You probably need extra stitches from baby's horns ngl

Definitely cries before the baby is even put in your arms

Refuses to let his brothers come and see you, "They can wait until we go home."

Lucifer is Smitten™

He smooches the tiredness under your eyes and tells you to get some rest

Surprisingly, he enjoys a lot of the names from the human world you discuss and will most likely pick one of those

But if it's a girl, her name is Lilith. I'm sorry MC, your input is invalid at this time

You don't regret 'final day in the devildom sex' at all when you get to witness the Avatar of Pride reduced to tears when the nurse puts the child in his arms

P-P-Pregnant? MC, ya better be jokin'...

Mammon

You weren't, judging by the pregnancy test(s) clutched in your fist

He's not mad at you, he's not upset, (in fact, he's the happiest he's ever been), he just scared

Broken Condom Victim™

He loved you just a bit too hard last week...

but let's be real here, HIS MC, carrying HIS baby?

That's like the highest level of ownership on his lovely human you could get! Levi, Asmo, Beel, Lucifer, everyone would be SOOOO JEALOUS!!!

AND

He gets to have a little one running around again!

You saw how sweet he was to babified Satan in the obey me anime premier! He LOVES little kids and nothing would make him happier than someone to play with (besides MC of course) that wouldn't make fun of him for messing up and being silly!

AND

You're so pretty!!

I mean, ya were always pretty, but somethin' about ya is different and yer even more beautiful than before somehow!

Mammon said, his entire face the shade of a pomegranate

Pregnancy glow is REAL

Asmo agrees, after stealing you away from an extremely overprotective mammon and hiding in the attic to chat without disturbance (mammon)

But as much as YOU know he would be the BEST father, comments from his brothers continue to drag him down and the evenings he cried into your shoulder became more and more frequent as your pregnancy progresses

Mammon, as we all know, is, in fact, a tiddy man

He likes to touch and squeeze them, and just gently hold them while cuddling or even browsing in a store, he'd just come up behind you and touch your boobs

(also, mammon likes all sizes, so if you have next to no tiddy like me, you'll be at his mercy as well. those with the large honkers, however, watch yourself)

Now that there's a miracle growing in your tummy, other parts of your body are preparing for its arrival, including your chest

Swelling, swelling, soreness, growing and darkening of the nipples, and swelling make it so Mammon can no longer touch your pretty tiddies :(((

(grammarly didn't like that word)

On the day mammon snack size was to be born, mammon is silent but extremely fidgety

It was early in the morning when you'd shaken him awake like, "mammoney, I'm going into labor" and he was out of bed and out the door with your luggage before you finished blinking

After grabbing your DDD's and you, he carries you down to the car (what dysfunctional family doesn't have a car? a nice one (Mercedes, Audi, you get the idea) for lucifer and a Volkswagon bus or something for his siblings to share) and drives quickly, but very carefully drives to the hospital, holding your hand the whole way.

He covers your eyes when they put the IV in, just in case you're squeamish, and rubs your arms as the drugs begin to take effect and there's a little fear in your eyes at the thought of pushing an entire human/demon being out of your coochie

He assures you and never lets go of your hand no matter how long you're in labor

When it's all over with and you are resting in your hospital bed waiting for the doctors to finish the Apgar tests and give you your baby

Mammon is speechless as the nurse places the baby in your arms

That's HIS KID!!

Immediately starts crying

The little horns poking out of the blanket? Those look just like his!!

Judging by the bit of hair on it's head, it looks like the baby will have hair like yours

If it's a baby boy, he thinks it should be named "Mammon II" but you just giggle and remind him of the deal he made with lucifer long ago, that his first born child, no matter the gender, had to have 'Lucifer' somewhere in their name

Human names are dumb, except for yours of course, so he searches for suitable demon names

The last thing he wants is a kid named Lucifer, so that will be the kid's middle name

He really regrets his past decisions now

Leviathan

"Levi?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"I'm pregnant."

*leviathan has been KO'd*

No joke, this man is literally floored and didn't wake up for a while and you were afraid you had just slain the fucking Lord of Shadows

Some Henry you were

You had to call Lucifer in to wake him up because he was still flat on the floor a half and hour later

Mammon is more that happy to tip a bucket of ice water on the face of the son of a bitch that impregnated HIS MC

Levi wakes up and pounces on you, gripping you tightly by the arms

"You're k-kidding r-right?"

Him? A father?

Uhhhhhhh

Unfortunately, Leviathan.exe has stopped working, try again in two thousand years

I hate to say this, but he definitely detaches himself for a while until his brothers, especially Asmodeus, literally beat him into shape

He comes back to you, a little bruised and sobbing, but not from the beating he just received

He's so sorry he neglected you! He's such a horrible demon, undeserving of your welcoming nature

He's gonna be the worst dad, and he's not good enough for you, and his kid will hate him just like everyone else does, he doesn't deserve you, he's so sorry for making you suffer the side effects and feel all alone,

Sir, I-

FALSE

It's your turn to shake some sense into him, reminding him that he would be the. best. dad!!

Not to mention the fact that you were just happy he realized his mistakes and came back to you

He begs you to sleep in his bed tub with him for security, and you have to admit his tail is very comforting

Levi does extensive research on human pregnancy and now at the dinner table, instead of talking about the latest slice of life anime he'd been watching, he's just spouting random pregnancy facts and you're laughing so hard it brings you to tears

When the weird dreams and vivid nightmares happen, Levi is right behind you, rubbing your swollen tummy, and letting you talk about them

A lot of them were about him and about your future child

Most of them were about how they got hurt in some way, either that or YOU got hurt and the baby died

These, more often than not, brought you to tears and stress you out, but Levi is right there, okay? Nothing can hurt you, nor would he let anything happen to you on his watch

Learns how to massage you (safely) to reduce stress

Definitely talks to the baby a lot

Levi begged you to be induced so the birth was safe and not a sudden occasion and you agree

On the day the doctor recommended, you arrived at the hospital and got down to business

Levi didn't really want to be in the room with you, but he knew he had to for your sake and he'd played a few birth simulators from both perspectives and you really needed him

Kinda sits there awkwardly comforting you and encouraging you, holding your hand and caressing your cheeks, a bit flushed from exertion and tears

Listen

If the baby is a boy, his name will be Henry and that's final

If it's a girl, he doesn't really care, as long as you don't name her 'mammonia' or something dumb like that

definitely crashes your hospital bed to snuggle until the baby is ready

cries when the baby wraps its extremely small digits around one of his own

also at the little horns protruding from its head

and the tuft of purple in its head

Also Smitten™

He's so excited to get home and show off his beautiful baby to his brothers and then formulate a plan to raise the kid to live and breathe TSL just like his daddy <3

--

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[toges-wife]

ꜝꜞ  ᳝ ࣪ 𔘓 ⎘ ! KAZUTORA H3ADCAN0NS! 🗯

W4RN1NG! Spoilers (?) And idk what else but lmk if there's something else

C0NT4INS! Dating him Hcs, As a Father Hcs

N0TES: sry if it's written badly, it's my first time writing for him, i hope it was good 🥲

Kazutora as your bf:

> Kazutora at first didn't know how to put his emotions in actions or words.

> he doesn't even know why but you were the only person who seemed to understand him.

> at first you confessed to him but he said that he needed sometime.

> kazutora thought you looked hot and you seemed like you'd be someone who can take proper care of him.

> he finally agreed on being your partner and he actually never regretted it

> to be honest he always tried to avoid having fights even though many things annoyed him.

> at first when you went for a date he was so nervous to even hold your hand. You were confused that he didn't even smile or express anything.

> "hey, aren't you happy with me?" You said standing outside gazing at the stars

> "you love me, right?" He said grabbing your waist as you nodded "if so then i love you and I'm happy with you."

> he didn't know how but you eventually got closer and he got more comfortable. He once came to your room and slept next to you.

> "hug me tightly" he said as you did. He felt protected and loved. He randomly started crying afterwards.

> "why are you crying?" You asked but He didn't answer. He just felt a type of comfort that he hadn't felt since long time ago.

> he randomly comes and visits you whenever he misses you.

> he was afraid that you'd cheat on him but didn't mention it much.

> he will just do anything to protect you.

Kazutora as a father:

> he understood that it was a big responsibility, and he tries to be the best father.

> sometimes kazutora goes on family trips just to form a bond between him and his child

> even though sometimes you both fight but you never allow the child to know about those fights.

> he immediately apologises after he made any of you upset

> he always helps his child with school work

> he knew what type of child he was so he was afraid that his child will be like him

> even though he always tells him stories about his past, but he never told him about his crimes or his childhood

> he always tells him about his work and his child always wants to go to his workplace.

> once he did take him to his workplace, he found the pets and they were adorable!!

> kazutora promised his child to get him that cat he wanted.

> his child always likes to braid his hair and he loves it.

> his child loves drawing family pictures and he loves to keep them in frames.

> he's very supportive towards anything his child does as long as it's safe.

> sometimes his child gets into fights with some gangs but he makes sure train him to fight them.

> chifuyu always likes to take care of his child because he actually never got the chance to have one or even get married. </3 (sry fuyu)

> the child grew up to be strong and popular among students

> he always tells his child things like "I'm proud of you" "you're doing well" or sometimes "remember I'm always here for you".

> his child grew up with a better childhood than him and he's just proud of that.

© toges-wife on tumblr. Do not repost or claim any of my works as yours. + do not translate without permission.

[zegumi]

Ushijima Wakatoshi SFW alphabet

alphabet template here

fluff I sfw I gn reader I hcs

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

at first he's quite hesitant on showing affection, wondering if you're comfortable with him being that close to you. he starts off easy: holding hands, letting you rest on him... etc.

once he feels more comfortable with you, he starts placing his head in your lap and giving you little kisses here and there

his favourite forms of affection are: forehead/cheek kisses, back hugs, holding pinkies, and resting his head on your shoulder

when you’re not around he shows affection by talking to you to his closer teammates but subtly, he brings up your name once in a while and a teammate will tease "ooo somebody's in looove" and he starts blushing profusely, asking if they can go back to practice, but the thought of you never leaves

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

being best friends with ushijima seems very rare, he's pretty selective with letting people close enough to earn that title

with you it was unexpected, you weren't afraid or cautious of his stoic upfront. you sat next to him in class and tried to make conversation with him, making sure to include him in conversations and asking how he's doing once in a while. he lets his guard down a little and you guys get even closer, he even invites you over to help with some schoolwork and suddenly you guys are spending more time together outside of school

he's kind of hesitant to call you a best friend, but when he sees that you’re okay calling him yours, he adopts the same title

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

yes yes yes and yes

he is always behind you, resting your head on top of his. if not he'll be facing upwards, lying on his back, your head will be resting on his shoulder and he'll have his arm wrapped around your waist.

he's definitely 99% always the big spoon

but on the rare occasion he wants to be the little spoon, he has both his arms wrapped around your waist, with his head on your chest, your hand running through his hair while your legs are intertwined absolute bliss

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

hell yeah

he's a sucker for the domestic life, waking up with you in your sub-urban house, a train ride away from the city. making cakes with you in your green painted kitchen which took you way longer than it needed to bc you kept messing around

he can cook, oh my, he buys some cookbooks and you guys spend some time with each other

I feel like he wants kids, some mini him and you running around, if not he'll adopt some

him teaching his kids to play volleyball in the backyard, him brushing their teeth and reading them bedtime stories and them giving them a little kiss goodnight cuteness overload

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

definitely depends on the reason why you're breaking up, but in this scenario, let's say he hasn't been home enough and you guys feel like you're not with each other enough pain

he really dreads having to break up with you, but he knows you deserve more than someone who is barely home. he's not harsh about it, he sits you down at a time when you guys are both free and explains why, "maybe the time isn't right, right now"

even though he broke it off, he still thinks about it quite a lot, he really hopes that you guys will find your way back to each other one day even if he knows that it won't be possible bc right now you're happier with someone else :( i love angst

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

his volleyball career kinda gets in the way of him wanting to commit to you, but he wants to show you that you mean the world to him, so i think he proposes in his mid-late twenties

his proposal isn't really that over the top, but he takes you out first for a fancy dinner with the excuse 'can't i treat you once in a while'. it's quite dark outside and you guys are looking over the city, you turn around to ask him something and you see him down one knee lovely

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

he is very gentle... probably bc of his strict upbringing, but he makes sure not to hurt you in any way

he becomes so much more gentle with his words, careful of saying the wrong words because he can't stand the thought of losing you

physically, he tries to make sure not to accidentally knock into you bc this man is so big and if you get ill ushijima is doing anything in his power to get you better, he tries not to get sick in the process, but having you care for him doesn't seem like the worst idea

emotionally, he tries to support you, but he's not the greatest at dealing with emotions, but when supporting you he tries comforting you rather than trying to solve your problems

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

at the beginning of the relationship, i think his hugs are kind of stiff-ish, but once you guys get more comfortable he goes all in

he's such a good hugger. he doesn't do half-hugs, it's all of it or nothing, he engulfs you with his strong arms a little bit too tight but who needs air

if he feels extra clingy back hugs. he loves the feeling of having your figure pressing against his, sometimes his hands grip onto your waist and he'll sway you back and forth while humming to his favourite song

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

as I've mentioned before, you're the first one to say ily in the relationship, but he says it back straight after

i like to think this happens about 5/6 months into the relationship, just when you guys start getting really comfortable around each other

as for using the L-word, he doesn't really say it that often, he believes when something is overused it isn't as special. he only uses it when it needs to be said

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

he doesn't really get jealous easily bc he's kind of oblivious or chooses not to pay attention to it

but when he catches on to whatever's going on, his eyebrows furrow and he'll just give the stare, he'll come near you and put an arm around your waist and slyly try to join the conversation

he knows what he's doing and so does everyone else

the person you're talking to gets a bit intimidated and tries to end the conversation as quickly as possible

you'll try to tease him for his jealously and he'd just change the subject and starts blushing a little, if you try to bring it up later he'd be like 'huh what was that sorry i don't remember'

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

I'm not good with this type of stuff ahh

he's actually pretty good at kissing. he likes soft kisses and little pecks on the shoulder and forehead.

when he's rough or needy, he gets really handsy like hands cupping your cheeks, in your hair, hands pulling your waist in - just very intimate

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

lazy mornings bc who likes being productive all the time

he likes sleeping in on days he has nothing to do, so he’ll be behind you hugging your waist and his head resting on your back, you try to stand up so you can get breakfast done but he pulls you back and says 'come on, just a little more', you know that means another hour but you still get sucked back into his warm embrace

you end up falling asleep and wake up with noises coming from the kitchen. you walk in on him wearing just an apron and his pajama pants, dancing to the radio while making pancakes for breakfast

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

again lazy evening edition bc why not

he comes home early that day, brings home your favourite snacks and asks if you want to watch a movie with him

he grabs a few blankets from your room and you guys decide to watch 13 going on 30 one of my comfort movies

halfway through the movie, he places his head on your laps asking for you to play with his hair, he lies down and you throw some popcorn and skittles in his mouth every few minutes, you tried pouring water but he started choking and spat water all over your shirt

it gets pretty late and cold so he changes you into his hoodie and carries you over to the bedroom. you guys fall asleep to the hums of the city below

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

he's a very reserved person, and i think it's just the way he was raised, talking about feelings wasn't normal in his home growing up

i think with you it takes him some time to open up, he reveals a few things about him and his childhood here and there but nothing major

he doesn't talk about how he feels enough, so it kinda relies on you being able to notice a change in his behaviour which might I say seems extremely hard

i think if you start being more open to him, then he follows on

he gets more comfortable with his emotions around you first and then starts being more open to his team - just give him some time he gets there

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

oh he's so patient, so patient

it takes a LOT to anger him, i don't think you ever have or ever will see this man angry, tbh i don't think you would want to

if you ever lash out at him, he'd sit down and understand where you're coming from, he'd try to calm you down and give you a second to let it all out

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?)

he remembers everything, literally everything

you mentioned that you liked mangos yesterday, and boom you've got a lifetime supply in your kitchen /s

he keeps a little note in his notes app just making sure he doesn't forget anything, he has your favourite orders, skin/hair care products you use, and little stuff like your favourite show in there

he does this bc he loves how your eyes beam after realising he remembers the little details

R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

this one hc is why this took so long, so I decided not to do bc my brain isn’t responding

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

ushijima isn't the overprotective type although he is protective

he doesn't care what you wear or how you present yourself, as long as you’re comfortable, you will have his full support

if he sees someone making you uncomfortable, he is always quick to jump in and say "you're making them uncomfortable can you please excuse yourself". if he sees a situation is making you feel uneasy he will take you and leave, to calm you down or to clear your mind, which ever one is the best choice in that moment

he doesn't feel the need to be protected, he believes that hes strong enough for the both of you sometimes he needs a little help so pls do step in

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

such a big try hard, he puts so much effort into dates, anniversaries, and even mundane everyday activities.

even far into your relationship he still pulls up at your door with a suit and a flower bouquet which he seems to never forget

he always wants everything to be perfect so you'll never forget

he enjoys surprising you with little gifts to remind you that he still cares. he seems like the type to buy you a promise ring, and oh my is it beautiful

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

this is hard bc in my eyes this man can't do any wrong, but its probably how he can't express his emotions very well

everyone gets in a bad mood once in a while, but for ushijima its different, the stress of volleyball gets to him and he just ends up shutting everyone out, including you. he was never taught how to properly talk abt how he feels so he just holds it in with never intending to let it out

if you try to ask him whats wrong then he just grunts and shrugs it off

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

he isn’t insecure for how he looks physically, he works out and maintains a healthy lifestyle, and he was blessed with that beautiful face of his *chefs' kiss

he's always hygienic (bare minimum), he cuts his hair regularly, keeps his hands nice and clean, with his nails well-trimmed

he likes to keep his appearance up and always looks like he should be on the front cover of a magazine but so effortlessly

bonus: he smells so good, he wears expensive cologne and zooweemama its so tasty, you'll hug him and never want to let go just because

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

he wouldn't necessarily feel incomplete with out you, he'd feel a bit empty

he forgets how much he misses you when he goes abroad for matches and he can't see you for a week straight. he makes sure to send videos and voice notes rather than texts so you can send some back. he video calls everyday, no matter the time difference just so he can see you in real time

if you guys take a break in the relationship, he finds his self drifting back into his stoic shell. he tries his best not to bc he knows how much he loves the person you've helped him become

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

doesn't know how to flirt hehe

he tries to use a smooth pick up line once in a while but they all end up with him in a flustered mess before he can even finish a sentence, i think we should leave the flirting to you

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

liars/dishonest people

he can't stand it when somebody lies to him, its agitating when someone he cares for feels the need to lie to him, it makes him feel like they don't trust him enough

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

he's a quite a light sleeper and wakes up pretty easily. he also looks dead when he sleeps, for example most days he sleeps pretty early bc he's worn out and you come into the bedroom and see him lying down on his back, his chest isn't even moving like it should be, but you'll get into bed with him and his first instinct is to wrap his arms around you and give you a kiss

i think he sleep talks, omg just imagine ushijima whispering about the weirdest things in his dreams. you recorded him once and showed him when he woke up and he got a bit embarrassed and started laughing

here's the hcs for mornings with ushi

this took me so long omg >o< I really hope I portrayed his character well bc he’s such a lovely person

make sure to take care of yourselves :)

reblogs are very much appreciated <3

requests are open