#sometimes my brain makes good things. sometimes it’s 11pm on a tuesday after working until 9 and getting fillings

[starstruckodysseys]

fuck it we ball *turns into riz gukgak*

[oonajaeadira]

Hi Adira!

Last week and next week I am living the life of a paid musician (pit then orchestra) and I am fried. Seeing as how you’re familiar with the professional performer life, I was wondering if you have any advice on how to make it mentally and physically sustainable?

I am hoping that more of these opportunities will come my way and I want to be able to do it without spending a week in bed afterwards…

Ooof. I've been there. I mean, you gotta do the basics--sleep, good food, water. I also rely on copious amounts of coffee.

But the thing that usually gets me through a prolonged show-mode slam is plan ahead and then literally taking it one. day. at. a. time.

Don't look down those calendar days and wish for Friday. It's only going to make you burn out on Tuesday. Literally living in the moment saves my ass every time. Assess what you need from moment to moment. Are you hungry? Need a snack? Just sit and rest? Got a couple of hours but just exhausted? Don't worry about the "other stuff." That will be waiting for you at the end of the week. Just do what you need to that day to feel rested in your mind and body. Even if it's just zoning out to tv; don't feel guilty about that. It's just for this moment. There will be productive moments later. This one is for Narcos.

This is not to say you shouldn't plan ahead. Get your laundry done before the big week. Make big batches of good food you can eat on the go or take very minimal time to prepare for a meal so you don't stress about food prep or fall into the trap of fast food which will zap your energy and time and moneys.

One of my biggest events of the year is a two-week period where I'm literally at the office at 10am, participating in the evening events from 5-11pm, and then co-hosting an after-event until around 1am. When you factor in drive time and showers, that leaves me just enough time to sleep. Sometimes.

So I make sure to do my laundry right before. I'll even maybe organize my closet in a way where I can just pull out clothes without thinking too hard. Take an assessment of your groceries/toiletries and make sure you have what you need, because nothing will frazzle you more than not having it and/or having to squeeze in time to get to the shops. (If you do have to have something, mail order.) Make a go-bag for the week with anything you might need (including an extra change of clothes if you need it).

And if there's anything you can put off until after the big event, PUT IT OFF. Just mentally prepare yourself for big focus on the performing for that short burst of time.

When my big event is coming up, this is an example of what I do for food:

Bag of nuts and/or trail mix to keep in my bag.

Bag of carrot sticks I can keep in the fridge at work and a jar of peanut butter at my desk specifically for them. Fk spooning that shit out, dip your sticks in it.

I will boil up an entire family-sized package of Buttoni tortellini, dump in a whole container of the brand's pesto sauce, one whole chopped bell pepper, three whole packages of sprinkle tomatoes (or one package of halved cherry tomatoes), a whole package of peas (steamfresh microwave packet), and half a chopped red onion. MIX. That will give you a pasta salad for at least a week that you can eat cold right out of the fridge or warm up real quick and has a ton of veggies. And if you need protein, you can fix your meats separately and just add them in when you fix up a bowl. The key is to pack it full of tasty veggies you like that will balance the oils/fats of the pesto and turbo charge the carbs for lots of energy. (Pro tip: get a pair of really good kitchen scissors if you're like me and bad at chopping veggies or have terrible knife skills or terrible knives. So much quicker to cut.)

Starbucks via packets are a life saver if you have access to hot water and don't have time to make/grab coffee.

Laugh when you can. Step outside and focus on one thing--one flower, the way the sun hits a stop sign. Let your brain be simple for a little bit every day--I call this "letting it hang to get the wrinkles out". When you've been stationary too long, stretch. And when you feel stressed, close your eyes and imagine Pedro gently placing a finger on any spot that is tense until you let it go.

[mikeyd1986]

MIKEY’S PERSONAL BLOG 123, September 2018

On Monday afternoon, I had my first official appointment with my new mental health support worker Vadim at The Coffee Club Casey Central. I was having some reservations about this due to the fact that this was a sudden change that I hadn’t mentally adjusted to yet. Thankfully my former support worker Ally was there to make me feel more comfortable and make the transition easier for me.

I guess my issue is that both Vadim and I have very similar personalities and it could get silent very quickly. This is where I love preparing lists of topics to talk about so that I have a backup plan. I was literally compiling my current list at around 11pm last night as I couldn't sleep as usual, detailing my thoughts and feelings around work, booking myself in to see a psychiatrist, the local gig I attended last Friday night, the Men of Doveton program and an upcoming Trivia Night with the Young Adults Aspergers group.

By the end of the appointment, we were all laughing in hysterics and I unintentionally got myself burned out. The conversation did dive into difficult territory around how I manage myself in social situations as I put a tonne of pressure on myself and overthink about what others expectations are. One of the most important lessons I got out of today is to not judge a book by its cover. I’ve decided to give Vadim a chance and see how things go until the NDIS takes over my support services. https://www.dss.gov.au/our-responsibilities/mental-health/programs-services/personal-helpers-and-mentors-phams

On Tuesday morning, I attended a HIIT Power Training and Boxing class with Cinamon Guerin at CinFull Fitness. Honestly getting to this class by 9.40am was very much a struggle for me even during the school holidays with no peak hour traffic. I think it comes down to two main factors: lack of sleep and lack of motivation. But like any type of gym session, making the effort to travel there is half the battle for me. There was another four clients in today’s session which I felt comfortable about.

What I didn’t expect from today’s PT session was my internal fears from last year beginning to resurface. Thankfully Cinamon was on the sidelines to give me some encouragement and realistic advice. There’s plenty of complex issues at play when it comes to my fitness journey: how I feel about myself as a person, self-consciousness, body image, comparing myself to others, irrational perceptions of what’s “good enough”, the internal pressure of needing to “keep up” with the others. https://www.self.com/story/strategies-for-gym-anxiety-at-any-size

These are still things I’m continuing to work on however. It doesn’t help when your first experience inside a gym was full of personal trainers and coaches with massively inflated egos, a penchant for competitiveness, constant gym selfies and videos filmed on smart phones and barely any focus on mental health issues. If you couldn’t handle the workouts, then too bad. That was the philosophy and attitude that I got from them. https://www.fitnesseducation.edu.au/blog/health/how-personal-trainers-can-support-and-enhance-mental-health/

Thankfully Cinamon’s philosophy and attitude is the complete opposite of this. She is very compassionate, supportive, safety-conscious and always considers the client’s needs first and foremost. The first half of the session focused on weight lifting and resistance training: med ball slams, back squats, overhead presses, squats and push ups. We also did some deep weighted squats and hip thrusters with the dumbbells. https://www.bodybuilding.com/content/hiit-training-for-strength-athletes-do-it-without-losing-gains.html

During the second half, we did some boxing drills in pairs which included jabs, uppercuts and hooks are different speeds and intensities plus 10, 20, 30 reps and runs in between. My boxing technique is getting there. It’s a good thing that I’m a fast learner because it’s really hard work getting the positioning and co-ordination correct sometimes. Thankfully everyone in the group classes are really friendly, understanding and patience particularly when you’re still a beginner. https://www.facebook.com/CinFullFitness/

On Thursday night, I attended the Young Adults Aspergers Peer Support Group held at MS Australia - The Nerve Centre in Blackburn. This month the group leaders put on a trivia night which turned out to be a great idea. I’ve been to many trivia nights in my 32 year lifetime and I pretty much know what can go wrong (making the questions too hard, not giving people enough time to answer the questions, having the night go on way too long, throwing in unnecessary games/auctions/raffles and overly long presentations, having too many people at one table and also in the whole room).

Thankfully the crew at Aspergers Victoria managed to sidestep most of those issues. We got divided into small groups of 3-5 people to a table which was a wise decision. Socially, this is the most relaxed I’ve felt in a very long time. I think that it shows how far I’ve come since joining AV. I getting to know other Aspies and feel comfortable in that space. I’m also learning that it’s okay to not have much to say or to actively listen to conversations.

There was two rounds of questions with categories including technology, computers, video games, fantasy, role playing games, history, music, TV shows, literature, physics, chemistry and public transport. Obviously I really struggled on the “nerdier” topics but there were a few that were dead obvious to me. We also had the challenge of working out 20 different train stations on the 2018 version of the Victorian Train Network. I’ve studied this map a few times (or at least older versions of it) so I could figure out a few station right away. Others I was racking my brain over.

The night was hosted by a guy named Phil. I actually felt a lot of empathy for him especially when he was having difficulty pronouncing some of the words in the questions and answers. It was also a challenge speaking over the loud conversations that continued to happen in the room. At least the leaders were keeping things in check tonight as things can easily go off on a tangent and not be focused back on what we’re supposed to be doing.

But overall, it was a really enjoyable night. We even got spoiled with a large selection of pizzas for dinner. At just under 2 hours, it was also the right length as my concentration and interest levels tend to dip after that point. I’ll never know why people think it’s necessary to have trivia nights run for 4-5 hours. It’s beyond ridiculous. I personality think a couple of hours is more than enough, otherwise it becomes a very long and tiring night. https://aspergersvic.org.au/young-adults

“Ask for forever when the end is in sight. Showing what you want to. We're looking for the light in an ocean of night. But will we ever see it through? And I need you to know I'm not asking for a miracle. But if love is enough, could you let it show? If you feel it could you let me know?” CHVRCHES - Miracle (2018)

“Is it alright if I save myself and if I clean up my own mess. Is it enough, yeah? Is it enough? 'Cause I've had enough. Do you ever wonder what we learned? We can raise our glasses, dancing on the ashes as it burns. Have you reached the point of no return?”           CHVRCHES - Heaven/Hell (2018)