#sometimes its dread
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frederick chase (the upper-middle-class californian) taking percy (the extremely poor new yorker) golfing to bond with him.
percy fidgeting and being bored out of his mind the whole time. he’s fighting for his life to act engaged and not yawn every 3 seconds.
one of them hitting the ball into the water, and when frederick goes to get a new ball, percy says, “nah, i got it,” and fully dives into the pond to get it (frederick is flabbergasted).
percy accidentally hitting a hole-in-one, and when frederick freaks out and jumps around and calls him a natural, percy shrugs and says it’s not his game (frederick is, again, flabbergasted).
percy telling all this to annabeth afterwards, and she’s laughing so hard that she’s in tears.
#they go golfing once or twice a year#at first percy dreads it#but THEN he has kids and actually finds himself enjoying the peace and quiet with his father in law#also to make it even#percy and frederick (and sometimes the twins) play basketball and shoot some hoops at the park#and frederick is AWFUL#and percy thinks its fucking hilarious#so does annabeth#percy jackson#frederick chase#percabeth#Annabeth chase#pjo#heroes of olympus#pjo headcanons#percy jackson and the olympians
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we been here before move along now
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#magneto#professor x#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#snap sketches#a kiss before bro goes to terrorize the city !!!!#as i was finishing this up i realized i drew something similar to this already and wanted to throw up#whatever that was like. l. last month its fine ill be fine ILL LIVE#its not exactly the same but its similar enough to me where i wanna eat my fingers but whatever this still cute.....#i coulda spiced this up by at least adding a bg vjELKJEKLAJ I COULDNT THINK OF ONE THO#this was just a doodle its fine.. i am overthinking things again...#only i gaf bout that kinda thing anyway PLEASE ENJOY#i just wanted to draw mags kneeling again.......... i have a million and one more mags-kneels-for-charles doodles in the brain#its very important to me hes like his shining knight in armor. who floods new york sometimes but its ok#he's his lancelot......#anyway thats all from me tonight bye JVELRKJVEALKJ#dreading the coming week but we'll make it through. probably
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just remembered sokeefitz will never be canon and they're actually stuck in a love triangle no one, including the author, wanted


#kotlc#sokeefitz#the mental strength its going to take to endure whatever the romance situation is in book 10...#im in denial a little bit#but sometimes. like now. i remember#and the dread courses down my spine
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(looks like in dragon form one of the horns on one side is broken)
"His crime is high treason. He took on a form reserved for the gods and their chosen, and dared to fly in the shape of the divine. The sinner belongs to Dirthamen; he claims he took wings at the urging of Ghilan'nain, and begs protection from Mythal. She does not show him favor, and will let Elgar'nan judge him." For one moment there is an image of a shifting, shadowy mass with blazing eyes, whose form may be one or many. Then it fades.
welcome back, ancient "The Evanuris Were [all] Dragons[haped sometimes]" post.
It sings of a time when dragons ruled the skies. A time before the Veil, before the mysteries were forgotten. Can you hear it?
#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#dragon age: dreadwolf#dragon age 4#the dread wolf rises#da4#dragon age#bioware#video games#elgardragon#a giant dreadful wolf could maybe beat one dragon but it wouldnt win in a fight against six#among other reasons for it you can see why he had to do it the way he did#(these posts arent about the idea that the evanuris=the old gods or anything. its just about the idea#that the evanuris took dragon form sometimes)
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decided to post a semi-finished panel from a short comic I've been drawing slowly over the weeks, as a valentine's day treat
alexander and hephaistion enjoying some alone time with paperwork and wine
#ert#sketchbook#alexander the great#hephaistion#alexander x hephaestion#once more I am begging the ancient macedon fans to come up with a shipname#ancient greece#ancient history#ancient macedonia#Im thinking of this being like.... memphis or earlier. maybe after tyre even#i have yet to add a background to this but Ill have to do some research into what that might be and honestly I dread it a little bit#there's one more page and some details to do so I hope to have the comic out sometime next week?#its very unpolished in its storytelling I just wanted to try and see what might come out when I do unscripted stuff after so long
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Just recently I asked myself an important question. Why do I, a person not usually into angst, continue to romance Solas. It’s not like it’s going to end differently. My Lavellan will always get her heart broken.
The simple answer? It’s worth it. There is a gentleness in how they treat each other that you don’t find in many real-life relationships much less in a video game. It’s soft, quiet, and tender. It’s what love looks like after years with someone you truly care about.
How can that be? Solas isn’t being honest with her. To Solas’ credit, he realizes that. He takes her to Crestwood to tell her the truth. When he realizes he can’t, he breaks it off. Which in and of itself is an act of love.
What he is honest about is his love for Lavellan. He never denies his feelings. A case in point is the aftermath of the first kiss. It would be so easy for Solas to say that he just got caught up in the moment. He doesn’t. He may say that it’s been a long time and that he thinks a relationship isn’t a good idea, but he never denies that he has feelings for her. Even when he breaks it off, he refuses to lie and say she was a casual dalliance or that he doesn’t love her.
For her part, Lavellan never pushes Solas. When he asks for time to think, she grants it. “Take all the time you need.” She understands him. He has trust issues. Getting into a relationship with her would be a big step for him. She may not know what made him that way, but she cares enough to let him decide if a relationship is something he truly wants. She is willing to wait.
This demonstrates a respect for each other and for their budding relationship. They are honest about their feelings. They are willing to take it slow. They talk about it like adults. They go into it knowing there will be risks.
An underrated aspect of the relationship is the conversations where Solas shares his recollections of things he saw in the Fade. Solas isn’t just randomly pulling stories out of his hat. He is telling Lavellan about the things he saw that meant the most to him. He is opening up to her, trusting that she won’t laugh at him or dismiss him. For her part, she actively listens. It’s a quiet kind of loving and, for me, one of the most intimate things you can do in a relationship.
The balcony scene is another place where this plays out. Solas wants to be with Lavellan. He has come up to the balcony to tell her that. He still has reservations. He wants her but he doesn’t want to hurt her.
Lavellan knows he must be the one to make the choice. Instead of kissing him, she puts her hands behind her back. If he wants this, he will have to kiss her. He balks. She asks him not to go. Many people interpret this as begging. That’s not it. She is telling him, quietly, that if he leaves, she won’t wait any longer. “It would be kinder in the long run but losing you would…” He can’t. He loves her. He decides to take the risk.
There is also a strong spiritual component to their relationship. Solas isn’t attracted by her physical beauty. He is all about the spirit. To him she is wonderful. Someone wise. Someone who thinks before she acts. He calls her beautiful in Crestwood, but I think he is talking about her soul, not what she looks like.
There are many other small moments that give us clues as to what their relationship looks like post balcony scene. Solas attempts to comfort her at the Winter Palace by dancing or taking her in his arms. She reassures him that he can trust her. They hold hands in Crestwood. He calls her “my heart” and it’s clear she is precious to him. His voice when he speaks with her in Crestwood is intimate. It’s a vocal tenor we don’t hear anywhere else. He remonstrates with Sera when she jokes about his relationship with Lavellan.
I find it interesting that even if Lavellan is angry, when Solas finds the broken orb she isn’t fist pumping because he didn’t get what he wanted. She treats him with kindness.
He goes out of his way to tell her what they had was real – or that she was right to be angry. No matter what happened they acknowledge each other’s feelings.
Everything paints a picture of an intensely private, intimate, loving relationship. That’s what I love about it and it’s why I keep coming back for more.
#solas#solavellan#dragon age inquisition#dragon age#dai#solasmance#fen'harel#solas dragon age#solas dread wolf#solas x female lavellan#sometimes its about tenderness
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finally got around to finishing a sketch from last year 🎉🎉🎉
aug '22 -> mar '23 -> oct '23
#EYAHH HHHHHH im so tired ahahha#:3c im rlly rlly rlly happy w how it turned out 😌 sometimes you gotta take a one year break from a piece ahdghashgdgha#i popped off ngl#genshin impact#cyno#i love cynoooo ooo so much i should play with him more audghfh#my art#yknow what i like you *transes your cyno*#going back to old wips when you dont have any creative juices is a good idea why havent i done this before smh#im rendering another old wip aodfjdhggdk i love rendering so much and i hate it with a burning passion#like its always the thing i look forward to the most but it also fills me with dread.. yknow??
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WAIT YOU LIKE YUME NIKKI:???? OH MY GOD
YES ITS LIKE ONE OF MY FAVORITE GAMES EVER URHGHGHH
#There is nothing else that captures how that game will make you feel#the wanderlust. the loneliness. the dread. the joy... its just a little RPGmaker game how can it do this#Also its events are so intriguing and haunting#I love dream games#I should really play LSD dream emulator sometime#ask#i also have a poster <3 yay#Yume nikki
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Hotaru "Doodles"
#the last one w sugary cabrival did not feel like a doodle.#doodles#magia record#hotaru yura#Her older-middle sister wears egl I promise im right abt this#anyways Hotaru seems more like the comfort over appearance kind of person for the most part so#I think wearing lolita would be dofficult for her with all the layers and fabric... ive gotten overwhelmed myself before#also i struggle with elastic-y materials around my wrists and I take bracelet breaks sometimes especially when im aware of the bracelets#so wristcuffs have been a very... dreaded experience because its tight elastic + potrntially itchy lace/fabric#elastic in general can be EVIL and uncomfortable and I think drawstring isnt as evil so. theres that!#also i just like drawing her dolled up i have sooo many doodles like this i just havent posted em
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Masked characters who never reveal their face/you rarely see their face my forever beloved i know u have a face under there but that mask is your face and I'm giving it a kiss even if you don't feel it
#many masked characters have my heart just cause it's literally one of the BEST character design choices ever#like hunk resident evil wouldn't be as fucking COOL if we saw his face right? that mask is part of his identity and his character#master chief another example if we dont count the show WHICH WE WONT#master chief probably being the prime example of a masked character#doom guy is one of my fav masked characters cause you CAN see his face sometimes but its always a RARE moment to see it#we dont need to see his face 24/7 cause he already gives off so much character through his body language#you can FEEL his anger and hatred for the thing's he kill's without EVER seeing his facial expression's#of course the original doom's also has a head icon showing you his emotions but the newer doom's REALLY leaned on the masked side of him#samus another great example#metroid dread is literally my favorite metroid game for what it does with her and the animation's they do for her#you can just FEEL and see what she's thinking/feeling/commiting too in every interaction#shes so quiet and stoic and when we do see her face its used to GREAT effect#samus is my fav masked character probably everytime i think back on her its always like omg...shes so cool...
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Close to losing my fucking mind with my parents I swear.
#its fucking money problems again#and of course my money is in their savings so guess whose money left in the savings was taken without asking???#yeah uh according to mom i cant call it stealing because somehow its borrowing...last i checked borrowing implies im aware#but i wasnt at all until last night#and now im dreading any money left over from my shopping trip#because my mom will go after it#they already on about how they cant get my drinks until pay#and moms pissed shes not having an asesthetic mothers day which like#funny i had to accept christmas being small because moms friend gave me a talk#but mom cant accept mothers day not being a fucking aesthetic because cant afford a chicken for a roast#hell i was getting asked for £20 already for fucking smoking stuff for dad even when dad said hes fine for now to mom#its just....'money wont make you happy' but it sure fucking would right now! it'd make my mom stop coming after me#dad has all the shame in the world when asking his sisters for money help#but never his daughter#and by ask i mean take without asking/'borrow'....seriously they once owed me over £100 when i first got uc money#because i would suddenly not have that money in the bank and it'd always happen without asking me#and their excuse is well you'd say no yeah uh i say no sometimes because sometimes its ridiculous amounts of money#let alone mom proceeds to call me names after the no not helping it#dads the only one who asked nicely once and not for a ridiculous amount#funny mom didnt think to have dad ask#rather 'borrow' instead
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Ghil Dirthalen: 'Veilguard's Gone Gold! What that means and more!'
In this video Ghil explains what 'going gold' means for a video game. this blog was mentioned in the vid, following this post about some info from a recent EA investor day. ◕‿◕
[source]
#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: dreadwolf#dragon age 4#the dread wolf rises#da4#dragon age#bioware#video games#thanku ghil!!#its true HHH those calls/presentations are.. and sometimes theres some da crumbs (if ur lucky) hhh
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<-Human hummingbird
#He needs ocean spray fruit juice to live (& and other things as he is human#Realizing thangs about dopamine and food which is either real or fake. But sometimes it is like trying to get a dog to eat its pills#Which is also a process with my actual own pills. Xbox hate sertraline Xbox just get nauseous and still mentally unwell.#I am fine to be clear I just dip regularly and rise randomly. Predictable body and mind surely im sure#i have this amazing ability to see any inane thing and become filled with an unplaceable dread. This helps nobody so just eat a cucumber if#I forget what I was posting about btw
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Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
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I can have a sweet new desktop background. As a treat
#lotro#angmarposting#this is the Arena#or as its called in game: lost in shadow#sometimes nazgul appear in the landscape#sometimes theres a portal that you step through to this place and you fight it there#very good addition#almost singlehandedly eliminated the sense of waiting at the dmv that was present at most nazgul fights beforehand#the beam of light in the background is a rotating hope beam that lets you purge the nazguls stacking dread debuff#because you cant leave the arena during the fight#but it makes for a nice bit of background interest too
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struggling again with extreme artblock and general demotivation (as in nothing seems fun or appealing and you sit around staring at nothing doing nothing bc apparently no matter what i do whether drawing or not drawing i end up like this now)
i started to watch skitties totk video (again) and wrote a big post about how much i hate how the gorons are treated there but saved it as a draft like i have been doing with several rants now in order to not spam people with it over and over
but it does end up feeling like talking to a wall and just kinda .. increasing this looming feeling of extreme loneliness i have been fighting with for .... since i left school really..
#ganondoodles talks#personal#i know i know this is my own doing#i never go out and have enormous trouble keeping in contact with people or answering messages#i never ever mean it mean#it feels like my battery is never above 10% charged no matter what i do#and answering messages often takes too much#which just makes this whole problem worse#its like a spiral making everything worse and idk how to fight it#maybe meds would help me#but if i have trouble even answering an ask i cant try to start the process of getting diagnosed with whatever hundreds of things-#-that are wrong with me#also being afraid of being put under surveillance or something for it doesnt help either#also fearing wrong meds doing wrong things bc i am weird#also afraid of not taking any meds bc that can reduce your lifespan if you are weird like me or something#which ........................... adds dread and guilt and doesnt help either#sometimes i wonder how i am evn still alive#the only reasons why are probably -luck- and being too much of a coward to end it all back when i was at the worst point of my life#bc i am not strong or resilient and getting through the worst .. so far .. hasnt made me stronger- just weaker and more pathetic#idk why im rambling all this in the tags- it must be exhausting to read .. i know it is#ill just go back to staring at a wall
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