#sometimes it feels like I’m giving my past self a hug which is nice :-)

[squuote]

actually being an adult rewatching gravity falls has given me a completely new appreciation for this series that I can’t quite describe. Like it’s a complete new experience that I’m also just reliving but now as an entirely different being and it’s so nice? I don’t even really know what I’m saying here but there’s something about it that I’m just appreciating on a new level. I suppose it could be the appreciation of having the experience of watching it through the lens of being a kid and now being able to watch it years later with the same yet newer outlook on everything. Not even really sure how to define that though other than being happy that I had this show as a kid and being happy to still have it now

[baxteravenue]

Can You Shoot & Score?

PART ONE.

Summary: You don't listen to Jack Harlow but because your friend is seeing his best friend you find yourself at his concert and at the center of his attention.

A/N: This is a three parter, so stay tuned!

“You’re coming,” Your roommate practically begs, “Y/N please for me! I literally never ask you to go anywhere and I’m literally on my knees.”

“I don’t even listen to him, besides that one song.” You shake your head, “And I don’t know if I can be the best wing woman.”

Jack Harlow is in town and for the past few months on and off your roommate has been messaging with his best friend or photographer… you’re not really sure but you do remember his name because of how random it was. Urban.

“I will literally play Animal Crossing with you for an entire month, please! Just the show and the club after and you will get me to fully dive into the game you’ve been wanting me to play for the longest.”

“Way to make me sound boring.” You stick out your tongue.

“So?”

It’s silent for a bit before you eventually melt, “Fine. But I’m wearing what I want to wear.” 

Nina, your roomie practically jumps up and down in a fit of glee. “Yay and fine! You could literally wear a trash bag and still look hot.”

So that’s how you ended up being escorted from the box office all the way to the backstage area, backstage passes plastered on both you and Nina. 

It’s awkward at first when you walk into a room crowded with girls wearing full on club outfits, you slowly begin to feel self conscious with your choice of clothing. Your trusty pair of Levi’s and a random black mesh tank. You slowly lean into Nina, “Did not know we were going to a Fashion Nova runway show.”

Nina giggles, “You look beautiful.”

You recognize Urban first, Nina had shown you his instagram first. He completely disregards all the girls lingering and walks up to Nina with a huge smile on his face and a cherry wrapped joint behind his ear. 

He hugs her tightly and you smile, you can’t hear what he says but she smiles and he gives her the blunt. 

“This is Y/N, Y/N this is Urban.” Urban smiles, and for a second you see his eyes dart behind you wiggling his eyebrows a bit before snapping back.

“S’nice to meet you, did you need anything? We got some drinks over there and some chicken sandwiches and oh shit do you smoke? I got Neens her favorite but I completely forgot to ask if you had any preferences.”

You melt at Urban’s nickname for Nina and shake your head, “Thank you but no. I don’t smoke, I get paranoid and I’m not a big fan of alcohol.”

“Respect.” Urban nods, “What about a chicken sandwich?”

“Sure.” You shrug. 

Urban leads you over to a whole buffet, constantly looking over your shoulder. “Help yourself to anything,” Glance, “Literally anything.” Glance, “Give me a second I’ll be right back.” 

Urban leaves and you look down, giggling at the Jack Harlowified wraps of the KFC chicken sandwiches. 

“It’s funny huh?” An unfamiliar voice says from beside you. 

You look up and then back at the wrapper and then back up, “They kinda did you dirty, you look like the unabomber.” You immediately cover your mouth with your hand, “I didn’t”

“Holy shit.” He laughs, “Okay, wow.”

“I didn’t mean to actually say that out loud.” You can feel your cheeks getting red.

“It’s fine,” He smiles looking back down at the rapper before laughing, “Shit you’re kinda right.” 

You shake your head, “M’sorry I’m just gonna eat my chicken sandwich in the corner and stay quiet.”

“Wait no!” Jack says a little too eagerly for his liking, “Nah it’s cool… What's your name again?”

“I never said it, It’s Y/N.” 

“Y/N…” Jack tests the name on his lips, “I like that name. It’s a nice name.”

“Thanks, I like the name Jack too. It reminds me of how obsessed I was with Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas, so much that I had my parents buy me this onesie costume and I wore it almost every day for the entire month of April which is like an insanely random month to develop a hyperfixation on that and sometimes I ask myself like why not October or like even December? But then again I did watch Stand By Me over and over again from November to…” You immediately stop realizing how many words are coming out of your mouth, “Sorry.”

Jack has the cheesiest smile, loving every single word that’s coming out of your mouth. “No please continue, I was just going to say how I watched Save The Last Dance secretly every night for two months straight, I swore I was gonna pop out at my seventh grade winter formal like no other.”

You throw your head back in a fit of laughter, “I kid you not I used to stand in front of the T.V. and try and mimic every single one of Moose’s dance scenes from Step Up.”

“And how did that go? Can you move like him?” 

You snort laughing, “Oh hell no. I have no rhythm. I was doomed from the start and I think if I remember correctly I dislocated a bone.”

Jack can’t stop laughing with you and neither can you. Everyone sees how deep the two of you are in conversation, laughs coming out every few seconds. Urban, all of Jack’s friends, and Nina are smiling watching from a distance. Meanwhile every other girl who had hope of a shot frowns with disappointment and jealousy.

You’re telling Jack about how you used to play basketball in high school when his eyes light up. 

“Wait for reals, you used to play? You can shoot?” Jack has an up to no good look on his face.

“It’s been a while but I think so, I’m not the tallest but I have a good arm.” You shrug.

Jack nods, “Alright… alright. You’re gonna be watching from the side stage or were you gonna be in the crowd?”

You look over at Nina who’s staring at you already along with everyone else. You give her a confused look before turning back to Jack, “Uhm it’s honestly up to Nina, I came with her so…”

He nods as someone tells him he’s on in five.

“I hope you enjoy the show.” Jack gives you a wink, “And I really hope you can shoot.”

You don’t know what he means but before you can even ask you both are being dragged in different directions. Jack to his spot on stage and you to side stage to watch with Nina and Urban.

You’ve never really listened to his music but you find yourself enjoying the music. You laugh as he interacts with the crowd.

“We even got a basket up here and… a ball! Who thinks they can make it?”

The arena immediately roars in cheers, Jack laughs looking at all the raised hands. “Alright. Alright. There's no way y'all can all make it. Hmmm, you!” He points at a girl right at the front, “You think you can? Alright c’mon.  And you my boy in the middle you got it? Alright let's go. And mmm alright you look like you got the spirit you come up too!”

It’s sad to see all of the fans miss, but regardless they look happy that they were even up there getting to be near Jack.

You giggle as he nicely kicks the fans off joking about their lack of baskets before looking around, “You know I think I have another person who said they can shoot… Y/N, you wanna give it a try?”

Your eyes widen as the light moves to you, Jack pulling at your arm. “C’mon I need one person to make it. Everyone Y/N said she’s got it like that!”

The crowd cheers.

You shake your head, “What? No!”

“C’mon Y/N don’t make us go out sad!” Jack pouts at you, before turning back to the crowd, “Unless she doesn’t got it like that then I get it. She doesn't want to embarrass herself.”

“Embarrass myself?” Suddenly you don’t care that you’re stepping on a huge stage in front of almost 16,000 people. You grab the ball from Jack’s arms, “No one’s gonna embarrass themselves.” 

“Oooh she got the ball! Let’s see if she makes it?” Jack taunts you to the crowd. 

Oh you were gonna make it, best believe that. Suddenly you were back in your high school prime ready to make a free throw and within second it swishes into the basket graceful as fuck and you cant help but let out a small scream jumping up and down. You were never great with pressure, but it was nice to know you still had it.

You feel your feet lift off the floor as Jack picks you up, throwing you over his shoulder screaming. “Let’s goooooo!”

You cannot stop laughing as he runs all over the stage, before gently placing you down at the side of the stage. “Man everyone give it up for Y/N! She redeemed yall!” Jack tucks the mic behind him, “You’re too fucking good, I think I’m obsessed with you.”

He doesn’t even give you time to respond before he’s running back to the center of the stage getting into the next song.

Your mouth is open slightly in shock and a bit of confusion. 

“Oh, he likes you bad girl.” Nina smirks.

[autumnnotfall1]

Home. A word that is so mundane. So very common.

Believe it or not, I’ve been searching for its meaning for a really long time. At first, I thought it was a place where you’re surrounded by family; but mine never felt like one.

I keep on searching, and again, I thought it was a person with whom you can fully be yourself. I thought I had one; but those arms that held me tight when I was down was gone. Leaving me with a cold and empty feeling, yet again.

I then stopped searching. I took my time to roam around and it brought me to a stranger who understood my point of view in life. We then became close friends, with care for each other without ever wanting to ruin it with unnecessary romance.

He was a comfort that I never knew I’d find. “I’d take a bullet for you, and you know that,” he said one day. “You should start to focus on the best you can do out of the worst situation. I believe you will find what you’re looking for eventually.”

It was such a nice thing to hear, and I realise how a little support can affect somebody’s life. I, not knowing my purpose in life, then started to believe that I could do something for my closest ones; starting from being a mere company when they need one. Mind you, I don’t have that many close ones.

But still, I didn’t find out what home was.

And when I almost gave up on trying to find ‘home’, answer found its way to me, through somebody I never knew would be such a significant part of my journey, despite of only being in talking stage for a little while:

Instead of giving me a false sense of security, he validated all my feelings, bad and good. An intuitive who didn’t realise how precious he was. He helped me to get back on my feet, but not in a way that caused me to be dependent on him.

I was able to find the ground again, and it was a good start.

‘Home’ is not a set of arms that welcome you everytime you need a shoulder to lean on, because as bitter it is to swallow; people leave eventually, sometimes so abruptly you don’t have the time to adapt to their absence.

‘Home’ is yourself. The only person that you will have at the end of the every day. The only person who will never leave you out in the cold. Because you will never let it happen.

‘Home’ is your own self. Being down on your knees won’t change that. You are the one who’s always there to hug yourself; whether it is when you crawl on the floor crying, or when you smoke the cigs to the deepest of your lung while being half-drunk.

I still am trying to accept that fact. I’m still trying to go through the journey of rebuilding my ‘home’; with loneliness, emptiness, and all those mixed up feelings along the way.

I’m still trying to fill up the empty spaces in which was filled from people of the past.

[holy-guacamoly]

I’ve been daydreaming about this idea for a while. Can I request an Eren x Reader fluff/comfort where Y/N (dressed in a nightgown) comes to bed feeling sad and Eren asks if she needs a hug and comfort before saying she needs it. Then Y/N finds herself crying in Erens completely bare body and spend the rest of her calming quiet nights in bed with him? Thanks so much (I’ll call myself 🥥 since I’m new to your blog)

Hello, dear 🥥! ❤️

It calmed me so much to write such a cute scene. I hope this brings you and everyone else who reads it comfort and a fuzzy feeling. :)

Eren's eyes were glued to your body, which wandered around in a stooping posture. Your shoulders hung lifeless in a forward motion and you seemed a little bit paler than usual. Even though you were still beyond beautiful to him, he absolutely hated to see you like that. Since the moment you entered your shared home, he noticed a shift in your energy. He tried to confront you in subtle ways, but when Eren saw your muscles stiffen at his futile attempts, he chose to give you space. Although it killed the brown-haired that you wouldn't let him in. This wasn't like you. Eren was already getting comfortable in bed when you walked through the bedroom door, your eyes focused on the ground. Your hair hid your usually beaming eyes. It seemed like you were avoiding his gaze at all costs. Your steps looked heavy as you scuffled over to where he was lying. A gut-wrenching mixture of fear and worries tightened its grip around his insides at this gloomy sight.

Even though he shouldn't be paying attention to your looks right now, he didn't fail to notice the new nightgown. Your perfect body was hugged by the silky fabric. Sometimes the male wondered how you'd manage to always pull off a flawless aesthetic, even in something simple like nightwear.

"Baby?" Eren asked gently, careful not to startle you. You didn't look up, no, you ignored him to be precise. By now you reached the shared bed and let your form slump onto the soft mattress. A small creak was heard as the frame whined under the sudden violation. You gave your boyfriend the infamous cold shoulder since you treated him with silence and the view of your backside. At this point, his thoughts raced. Did he do something wrong? Had he forgotten something important? Birthday, anniversary maybe? But every time he rehearsed the past days, nothing popped up. It had to be something else. Eren spoke again, this time concern lingered on his tongue. "Baby Girl, you worry me a little. Please talk to me." The broadly built man shifted over so that he was now hovering behind your back, almost touching your skin. His face loomed over your shoulder, next to your ear. You inhaled his cologne, a woody, calming scent. The heat of his bare torso caressed your freezing self in addition and you couldn't help but just relax a little bit. Every cell in your body screamed for his touch, but you were too drained by current events to voice your desires. Eren seemed to notice the war within you and placed his chin gently on your shoulder. He eyed you with the biggest puppy eyes and hummed a questioning "Hm?"

"Bad day," you finally whispered.

Your boyfriend's expression softened at your weak voice. You were such a brave thing for trying to handle your problems all by yourself. Brave, but a little stupid.

"Can I hug you? I am desperate for a hug from my girl," he murmured against your neck. Despite your horrible mood, a small smile tugged on the corners of your mouth. "A hug would be nice," you admitted. With that said, you let yourself fall back right into his arms. Eren was quick to wrap his muscular arms around you and rolled both of you over to his side of the bed, which ended up in you resting on top of him. Only now, you've noticed that he was completely naked under the covers. This man held a grudge against pants, you were sure about that. Not that you would mind.

Gently your partner draped the blanket over your shoulders and wrapped the two of you into a cozy cuddle-burrito. He planted small kisses on the top of your head, still holding you as tight as possible to his chest. Eren feared that you would just break into a thousand pieces if he didn't treat you in the most gentle way right now. "So, do you wanna tell me what's going on?" he murmured against your head. Your bottom lip started quivering as you tried to hold your tears at bay. He cared so much and you felt like you didn't deserve such kindness. That's why you were avoiding him all night. You felt guilty to burden him with your worries. Still trying to keep a cool facade you shook your head, but a loud sob, that ripped through your airways, betrayed you. The sad noise was like a starting signal for your tears. You couldn't hold them back any longer. The pressure of your feelings overwhelmed you and you had no choice but to let it all out.

Your tears stained Eren's chest and the blanket but he didn't seem to mind. He just caressed your back and helped you through your emotions. No matter what you went through, you would tell him sooner or later. He just had to wait.

As your wailing wore off a little bit your boyfriend was the first to speak. "How about we watch your favorite movie and I get us some snacks?" You raised your now pounding head and looked at him with glistening eyes. Your lips formed the cutest pout. While a heartbreaking sniff filled the air, you nodded your head. Eren's heart swelled in his chest. You were the sweetest human being alive.

"Can we cuddle the whole night as well?" you asked shily. A chuckle ripped from Eren's chest at your sweet proposal. He patted your head lightly as he said, "I would be disappointed if not, Baby Girl!"

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Heeey! Can I request for the Father of Mine universe? Something along the lines of hickeys, maybe smeared lipstick all over their faces at an event, family dinner or something like that?

“Just skip it and stay here with me,” Jason offered as he leaned against the bathroom frame, shirtless and with his arms crossed.

He had been watching Y/N get ready for at least 15 minutes.

She was currently putting on blood red lipstick that went perfectly with her black winged eyeliner.

Jason wasn’t a big lipstick guy – mostly because it prevented him from kissing his girlfriend the way he wanted to. But he couldn’t deny that it looked incredibly sexy.

“I can’t. I promised Bruce,” Y/N explained as she looked at him through the mirror.

“There will always be other charity events,” he answered with a roll of his eyes.

But he’d had enough of keeping his distance and wrapped his arms around her from behind. He started peppering kisses on her shoulders since her dress was leaving the skin completely exposed and he just couldn’t help himself.

“You know,” she began, “you could always come with me.”

Jason stopped his kissing.

“Guess that’s a no?” Y/N sighed with a shy grin.

But she didn’t really care.

Y/N understood that Jason hated these events. To be honest, she might hate them just as much. But Bruce kept asking her and she tried to go when she could. Sometimes she needed breaks and her father understood that.

Jason ignored her question and his hands started roaming heatedly across her body.

“Don’t even think about it,” Y/N warned, immediately pushing him away.

“What? I didn’t do anything,” Jason laughed innocently.

“Not yet,” she spun around and pointed at him. “But you were going to!”

“And is that so bad?” He asked with a crooked smirk.

“It is when I’m running late. And the reason I’m late is because you couldn’t keep your hands off of me an hour ago.”

Jason tilted his head and narrowed his eyes playfully. “I didn’t exactly hear any complaints…”

Y/N couldn’t stop herself from laughing and shook her head.

No, there had definitely been absolutely no complaints from her.

“I won’t be there long,” Y/N promised.

Then she brushed past him and walked into the giant walk-in closet.

Barely even glancing at all the shoes, she grabbed a pair that matched her dress.

“Can we order pizza or something when I get back? I’ll be starving.” Y/N asked mindlessly as she slipped the shoes on, using the wall to balance herself.

Jason didn’t even realize he was staring.

But how could he not?

The dress was simple. Just a little black dress. It was a charity event after all. But it fit Y/N like a glove, hugging her in all the right places.

Her heels were at least 4 inches, putting her eye level with Jason – if not a tiny bit taller. She would be above the majority of men at the event, except for probably a small handful.

“What?” Y/N asked self consciously. “Too tall?”

“No such fucking thing,” Jason quickly answered.

Y/N usually wasn’t self conscious about her height. She kind of had to get over that back in high school when she was taller than most of the boys in her grade.

But that didn’t mean she completely stopped having slip-ups. Slip-ups that involved questioning her heels or outfit.

Thankfully, Jason was quick to remedy such situations.

“You just look so beautiful,” Jason added as he stepped forward and grabbed her hips possessively.

Y/N kissed him. “Thank you.”

But she opened her mouth to give another warning.

“You’re gonna be late,” Jason spoke for her. “I know. I know.”

Y/N tried not to laugh at her boyfriends desperation as she grabbed her clutch.

“Remember: pizza!” Y/N called over her shoulder as she walked out the door.

————

Bruce and Damian were waiting for Y/N at the venue.

Dick and Tim skipped, going to these things less and less as they became fully grown men with lives of their own.

“Thank you for coming,” Bruce greeted as he kissed her on the cheek.

Y/N was about to turn her attention to Damian and give him a hug.

“What the hell is on your neck!?” The boy cried out before she could.

She blinked in surprise, completely unaware of what her half brother was talking about. Self-consciously, her hand went to the sides of her neck, not sure what she should be hiding.

“Can Todd not keep his hands to himself for 30 seconds?” Damian growled.

That’s when it clicked.

Y/N had a hickey on her neck.

“Damian, lower your voice,” Bruce warned his son.

Meanwhile, Y/N started feeling hot from embarrassment.

“Father, make him stop,” Damian whined.

To her surprise, Bruce cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Damian, Y/N is a grown woman in a relationship. She can do as she pleases.”

It was the right answer, but Y/N was still sweating from the embarrassment.

“If you’ll excuse me,” she quickly mumbled, before disappearing to the nearest bathroom.

But Y/N swore she heard Bruce continuing to scold Damian for his rudeness and for embarrassing her.

When she reached the bathroom, she lifted her head to see that she very much did have a hickey on her neck. It was perfectly hidden in the shadow of her jaw, which was why she hadn’t noticed it while getting ready. If she had, she would’ve put 5 layers of makeup on it to make sure her family didn’t notice.

Thankfully, she brought some cover up with her and quickly started going to work.

After 10 minutes, it was invisible and Y/N let out a sigh of relief.

She pulled out her cellphone, glaring at it as if were her boyfriend.

“You better start behaving. Damian and Bruce just found a hickey on my neck. I’m so fucking embarrassed,” Y/N texted to Jason.

“Who cares?”

Y/N rolled her eyes. Of course he’d answer with that.

“Call me old fashioned, but I’d prefer not remind my father and younger brother that I do in fact have a sex life.”

“A healthy, satisfied, and passionate sex life *,” Jason corrected.

Before she could respond, he texted again with, “Did you cover it up?”

“Obviously.”

“What a shame. Maybe it would’ve kept the spoiled rich boys away from you.”

“You’re on thin ice, Jason Todd.”

“Ooo. I love it when you use the full name. Gets me all hot and bothered.”

Y/N sighed and tossed her phone back into her clutch.

She’d given up on making Jason feel any bit of sympathy. That man would never feel guilty about showing the world how obsessed he was with her.

—————

Jason was reading on the couch when Y/N returned home.

“Hey, beautiful,” he greeted before returning to reading his book.

“Ugh. I drank too much champagne. I have the worst headache.”

“I’ll order some pizza,” Jason offered and pulled out his phone.

Y/N sighed in relief when she took off her heels and then she collapsed on the couch, laying her head on Jason’s lap as he placed their order.

Without thinking, his free hand when to her head and started massaging it, hoping it would help with her migraine.

“Hmm,” she hummed with her eyes closed. “That feels better.”

“Order has been placed,” he confirmed.

“Thank you.”

“Arrives in 30 minutes.”

She didn’t say anything, knowing exactly where he was going with it.

“What could we possibly do with 30 minutes?” Jason teased as he inched closer to her face.

She opened her eyes and giggled up at him.

“Ya know, I heard that sex helps cure migraines…”

“Does not!” Y/N yelled out.

Before she could argue with him further, his lips shut her up real quick.

For as large as Jason was, he managed to maneuver his body very gracefully, until he was hovering above Y/N while she lay comfortably on the couch.

“You look beautiful with lipstick,” Jason said it as if it was law. “But I like it even more when I ruin it,” he added with an almost evil smirk.

It was hard for Y/N to have a clever quip when he said things like that to her.

“How about I mark you up even more?” He threatened.

“Jason…” she warned.

But they both knew Y/N was pretending to be annoyed by it – or against it. When in reality, she kind of loved how obsessed Jason was with the idea.

Just when Jason hiked Y/N's dress up and was tracing her legs, someone cleared their throat.

Jason squeezed his eyes shut in frustration and actually growled. Then he quickly lowered Y/N’s dress and tried to make her modest again.

Y/N covered her face and groaned. “Please, please, please tell me Bruce is not standing at the window right now.”

Jason smirked. “And Damian.”

Y/N pushed her boyfriend off of her and sat up to face them.

There stood Batman and Robin.

Tonight was just not her night.

“You have lipstick smeared all over you,” Damian pointed out to Jason smugly.

“I’d say one day you’d see the appeal, but I’m struggling to imagine anyone ever having that kind of interest in you,” Jason shot back.

“Jason!” Y/N scolded in a yell.

Then she quickly turned to Damian with a sympathetic look, “Dami, he didn’t mean that.”

“Yeah, I did,” Jason corrected. “What do you guys want?”

“Red Robin is missing,” Bruce stated darkly.

“So…go find him,” Jason replied.

“We need your help,” Bruce clarified.

Jason groaned and rubbed his face. “Fine. But we’re setting some fucking ground rules from now on. I’m sick of you guys invading our personal space. We have a door for a reason. Use it.”

Bruce just nodded.

Then he looked down at Damian and with a glare, got him to nod, too.

“I gotta change,” Jason told them, annoyance clear in his voice.

Y/N followed him into their bedroom, to give them a moment of privacy.

“You don’t have to be so rude,” Y/N sighed as she sat on the edge of their bed.

“They spent all night with you and now they have the balls to interrupt?” Jason shot back. “And I want my damn pizza.”

Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at him. “I promise I’ll save you some.”

Jason was in his full gear now, Red Hood helmet tucked under his arm.

He took in a deep breath, tension easing off of him as he saw how cute she was looking up from the bed at him. Her lipstick was half off her lips, but she still looked beautiful.

“Promise you’ll be careful,” her tone was nothing but serious.

“Don’t worry about me,” Jason dismissed as he leaned down at kissed her.

"And be nice to Damian."

"Never."

Jason went back to the living room where Bruce and Damian waited.

“You might want to rub some of that off,” Bruce mumbled as he turned and jumped on the window.

Jason glared at Batman’s back as he reluctantly rubbed Y/N’s lipstick off his mouth with his gloved hand.

Then he looked at Damian. “Say another word about it and I'll skin you alive.”

Damian gave him a dirty look, “I’m not scared of you.”

–––––––––

Let me know if you liked it!!!

[ladywaifuuwrites]

Pillars reacting to their crush who’s small but strong

Request: male pillars reacting to a really strong female pillar whos like super short like 4′10-5′ and they crush on them.

Pairings: Male pillars x fem! reader

Synopsis: Their crush is a strong smol pillar ^_^

Warnings: manga spoiler

a/n: I smiled at your request since I’m small too. Like I’m 5′0. And I’m kinda scared to do face to face classes since the boys at my school will tease me for not getting taller. Hmph. SO HERE YA GO. You’re the first request! Have a nice day whoever u are!

And I am so sorry this is so long! ASJDAOFHHASK. I got carried away in some of those storylines. I hope this makes sense (wrote this when I was hungry).

This would be a headcanon I assume. 

I’m sorry if It’s taking me long to answer requests but don’t worry I’ll write those! I’ll probably upload rules for future requests :)

Giyuu Tomioka

yo this guy is tall not kidding

Giyuu is head over heels for you. He’ll want to protect you since you’re the most precious things he’s ever laid eyes on

Sparkles in his eyes whenever he sees you✨

He doesn’t want to lose you so he’s butting in on all of your missions. You get annoyed and you think he’s looking down on you.

You two get into a fight and doesn’t fix it since Giyuu’s communication is bad. It ends up in you walking away.

Nighttime and demons are lurking around in the forest as you take a stroll to clear your mind. Then a demon launches on you but thanks to your quick reflexes you dodge.

It’s a strong demon, close enough to become one of the lower moons. But nothing you can’t handle.

Giyuu senses a demon nearby and he frantically searches for you. *sim dads reaction when the mother goes into labor lmaooooo*

Lights fill up an area of the forest from the techniques you use. In like 2 strikes the demon dies.

He finally finds you as the demon’s ashes blow away. Your hair is dramatically blowing too.

He’s just staring at you then hugs you “I’m sorry. I’m not underestimating you…I just want to protect you.”  

Then all good. He’s amazed by how strong you are despite you’re short stature. You’re going to missions together and sometimes he just watches you finish off the demon. Just happy to see that satisfied smile you have when you kill a demon.

Muichiro Tokito

When he first met you at the pillar meeting, he muttered his thoughts, wondering how could someone be that small? You’re in the same age but you’re small.

Shinobu heard him since she was beside him and said “that’s rude to ask someone”. She’s lowkey offended.

Tengen retorts to Muichiro. “You’re small too…??”

Since it’s rude, he kept his mouth shut. You’re the same age as him when you entered the corps. He thinks you’ll grow up anyway. 

Surprise surprise you grew up, 2 inches. But still small. 

He gets nervous a bit around you since puberty did you good. Won’t admit it though.

Cue swordsmith village arc

He’s having trouble dealing with Gyokko. (I hate his face. It’s weird and ugly.)

Then minutes later, you show up out of nowhere, giving great damage to the demon.

“Are you okay?” you ask him with concern and you two fight off the fish demon.

He’s in awe because you actually took over the fight. Sure you have injuries but those are minor compared to his and you were very careful.

He’s injured so he couldn’t do much but you saved him and the civilians by defeating the demon. That’s when he realized how amazing you are and you earn his respect. 

Days pass by and you two along with the other demon slayers are commended by Oyakata-sama.

He thanks you when the both of you are walking together. He’s very grateful for what you did and you two become closer afterwards.

“Ah young love.” Mitsuri sighs blissfully as she watches you two leave the headquarters.

Kyojuro Rengoku 

Kyojuro knows you’re small and he knows you’re strong. You’re one of his trainees along with Mitsuri, so you’ve known each other for a long time now.

You rose to the ranks of the pillars with Kyojuro’s guidance. And now you’re looked up to by the whole organization because of your excellent swordsmanship despite your small figure. 

So you’re tasked to train 20 slayers ranked below Tsuchinoto. You take them to a clearing in the forest where training equipment are already placed. You train them by remembering what Kyojuro has taught you over the years. And you smile, seeing your past self in the struggling slayers.

You gave them a 10 minute break and after 10 minutes, you do a headcount to see if everyone is in your proximity. 

“18,19…?????” 

Oh no. A slayer is missing.

So you set off to find the missing one and there you found him. 

Hanging upside down from the arms of a large demon. The boy is muttering apologies for straying faraway and is begging for you to save him upon seeing you. 

You are annoyed at the fact that he has disobeyed your orders and is now at the hands of danger. But this was no time to be blaming someone for a boy’s life is at stake here. 

You jump into the air and you take down the demon pretty easily with one strike of your sword. And you catch the falling boy bridal style with your annoyed face. 

You put the boy down but suddenly a demon comes attacking you both. You kill it but more of it comes at you. They are easy to take down but it keeps coming, making you tired if you have to do this all night. It just won’t stop multiplying.

You think you’ve killed almost all of it but then the slayer screams “(L/N)-SAN!!!!!”. A monstrous looking demon bares its claws at you, but before you could react a flash of flames appears right in front of your eyes. 

“Kyojuro…” You whisper in relief as he slays the final demon. The bright flames sparkle in your eyes as you’re once again amazed at the man.

Kyojuro looks at you and comes over. “You’re so amazing.” You manage to say. 

He smiles and says. “No. You’re the amazing one.”. You always manage to face whatever challenge and it always ends up in you winning. Kyojuro knows how hard you proved others wrong by becoming a strong pillar. 

Super proud of you cause you’re strong. He actually watched you battle those before jumping in to save you.

Sanemi Shinazugawa

He doesn’t really care if you’re short or tall

The important things is that you’re useful to the organization

When someone teases you about your height, you end up feeling down and he’s there to beat that someone’s ass.

He doesn’t like to admit it but he’s a softie when it comes to you. You eventually break down his walls and now you can say you’re friends with the scary wind pillar.

You always tease him though and he’s always annoyed. But everyone thinks you’re both dumb since it’s very clear that you two like each other but you still deny it.

There’s this time where Sanemi is visibly struggling fighting demons as you watch him peacefully on a rooftop. He’s glaring at you and asks you “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”.

You just smile at him sweetly😊

Sanemi pretends his heart didn’t do a flip. But his heart stopped when he saw a demon behind you on the rooftop.

He was about to call your name when another blink and the demon’s head was cut off.

He was surprised since it all happened so fast. You go down to the ground, landing safely as you battle demons that the frozen Sanemi left.

It just took you 10 seconds to eliminate those demons and Sanemi’s mouth is left agape as he watched you.

You weren’t normally like this. So why the sudden surge of power?

“Sanemi hun. Close your mouth.” You say to him with a blank face, but before you could go past him, he gripped your wrist tightly and placed your small body in front of him.

He dragged you so easily lol.

He hugged you with your faced buried on his chest.

It was the comforting kind of silence. Sanemi was scared losing you to that demon but deep inside he knows that you’re strong.

Won’t admit that your moves are amazing.

Gyomei Himejima

This man is the strongest in the demon slayer corps and the tallest

Lmaoooo you would be like a mushroom beside him💀🍄

Gyomei actually gets out of tricky situations easily because he’s that strong

You’re a fairly new pillar who earned her spot 3 months ago. You two were assigned on a mission together. A gigantic demon appeared throughout the village that was between the regions you and the stone pillar were assigned in.

Gyomei knows your capabilities so he trusts you in doing a good job, but he can’t help but worry about you.

He doesn’t care if you’re small, he thinks that height isn’t the basis for an excellent demon slayer. But he’s still worried, so he looks for you. I don’t know how he looks but he looks.

Then he sees you fighting off demons very easily. A determined look is seen across your face. Gyomei feels he’s tearing up because he’s so proud of you. Proud boyfriend here somethin.

You were just a weak mizunoto years ago and now you’re a strong pillar who can fight with him side by side.

When you finish off the demons, you look to see Gyomei smiling at you. This were the fruits of the harsh trainings you went through, it made an excellent swordswoman.

Among the pillars, you stand beside Gyomei in rankings. So you’re powerful like wow. O_O

Obanai Iguro

He’s small but have you seen him fight? He’s a demon slayer with remarkable speed and you won’t know he’s attacking you because his moves slithers secretly like a snake.

You’ve always admired Obanai even you’re now both pillars. And that admiration bloomed into something more.  

He’s a strong pillar despite his small stature and that’s what you aim for to be like.

You’re trying to show off your moves to him every time you’re in battle together, to show him what you can do. To which he’s just “meh”.

So you give up on trying to show off and just do it for the sake of the people you’re saving.

You really gave up on showing off, but you can’t help it cause your breathing forms are flashy. Obanai doesn’t show it but he loves that display of power you have when you’re fighting.

Poor man doesn’t realize he’s in love with you even though others point it out.

He’s having trouble dividing his attention on protecting the civilians or fighting the demons. Luckily you were near the area so you came to his aid.

You slay the demons with your sharp and precise movements in just a short amount of time.

He’s like 😲 but when you turn he’s back to 😐😷

He’s one of the guys who won’t admit that you’re amazing and won’t admit that he likes you. You force him to confess though.

Tengen Uzui

If Obanai doesn’t admit he likes you, this guy would shout that he likes you

Would openly flirt with you because why not? There’s nothing to be shy about.

Always takes the chance to compliment and flirt with you.

“You’re cute (y/n)” “Thanks” Tengen finds your height cute because the height difference is HUGE.

Another mushroom like moment💀🍄

He knows you’re strong so he likes to train with you. Always ends up letting you win because he just likes it when he’s pinned down by your smaller figure.

When a demon invasion came in your area,, you fight them off while Tengen is called for backup.

He slays the lesser demons easily and found you fighting a stronger demon while protecting some children behind your back.

He smirks and leans against a tree, arms folded while watching you fight off the demon. 

You did it so easily making Tengen’s eyebrows rise.

Then you see him and ask him “what are you doing?”.

“watching you.” He finds you hot and sexy when you have that focused look in the middle of a battle. He won’t say it out loud because you might smack him in the face.

Super amazed at the fact that you’re stronger than the other pillars despite your small figure.(he thinks you’re stronger than him but dismisses that because pshhhhhh).

Will throw you over his shoulder at random times. Thinking that his antics will make you fall in love with him.

And it did…

[kass-storycorner]

Mentally I’m getting worse again (tho I try to do all the stuff I learned from two years in therapy to … prevent it from getting bad bad ), so I’ve only been thinking about how some of the Genshin characters would comfort me? So here have this, whatever this is, that I wrote at 2am on a night before I have 11am shift at work. Using you in all of this but honestly this is 100% self indulgent. I just want someone to cuddle with. Pretty sure most of this isn’t really in character and every point is vastly different from the others but hey, it is what it is. As long as I’m in my current mindset my stuff won’t be any better than this

Genre: fluff, a bit of angst I guess idk man, comfort i hope

Content warnings: depression (?) I don’t go too much into detail, don’t want to write out those negative thoughts HA but you know you are just not in a good spot in these, absolutely inconsistent writing, every character has to deal with a different stage of feeling depressed and yeah

Characters: Diluc, Childe, Albedo, Yoimiya

Fun fact: my app crashed while writing this so thank the tumblr admins that you can restore posts you wrote after the app crashes one of the few good features of the app

Diluc:

Would definitely notice the first small changes in your behaviour, but wouldn’t think much of it in the beginning.

Maybe you are just tired? And even if not Diluc knows best that no one can always be chipper.

Still he doesn’t know how to act around you when you are sad / heading towards a depressive episode.

He would offer you his help, you just need to say what you need and he’ll give it to you.

Ah, but Diluc didn’t really consider at first that you would be too afraid to ask, even when he offered it to you.

One day he will directly ask you in the privates of your home if you are okay. At first you would try to brush it off, not wanting to be a burden on Diluc. You know how much he’s been through and that he also has his emotional scars… would be a bit selfish to dump it all onto him, wouldn’t it?

But oh, you’ve been dying to talk with someone about your feelings, craving a warm hug and words of comfort… so when Diluc doesn’t drop the topic you just let it all out.

He will take you in his arms and hug you, cuddle you, as long as you want. He’ll stroke your hair, quietly listening to your words, only small “mmmhs” and “it’s okay” leaving him, to reassure you that it’s fine for sharing it all.

When none of you talks all you can hear is his steady breath and oh, it’s so soothing.

Maybe you end up crying, while sharing all of it with him. All he does is to pull you closer into his chest, saying that it’s okay and tell you to let it all out.

Diluc hides his softer side from the people of Mondstadt, always hiding behind the more grumpy image some of him have, but he knows that it’s not good to run away from your own feelings. What you need to do is to feel them, do not try to push them aside because you are uncomfortable with them.

Generally he would be soft, kind and understanding. At first he might give you too much room, afraid he might be overstepping a boundary when he keeps pushing you in the beginning. Ends up in you isolating yourself / pulling away more, but once Diluc sees the pattern he will be more attentive to your needs and learn to differentiate between you needing space and you isolating.

Though please communicate with him better, he’s busy and if him having less time for you causes you distress you need to tell him, he might only notice it after the feelings festered.

Childe:

Oh boy - he hasn’t seen you in a while, Fatui duties you know, so when he knocks on your door one day he notices immediately that you are not in a good place.

This man - he cooks, he cleans, we all joke about him being the perfect husband but seriously. He sees the state of you, the state of your apartment and immediately helps.

Having spend the last week or two in a depressive state caused you to neglect your housework - the dirty dishes are everywhere and laundry keeps piling up. Not to talk about how you look.

Childe will make you a bath and while you’re in it he cleans. An immense help!!! Taking away a good chunk of thinks that made you feel just so overwhelmed and helpless.

The whole time he wouldn’t breach the topic of why it has come to that point, but now after you finished the bath and the apartment looks liveable again he asks you what’s wrong.

Honestly you don’t know yourself, you’ve been just lacking more and more energy to do the basic tasks and suddenly everything was a mess.

Will wipe away your tears and tell you “don’t cry, I’m here”, taking you in a hug.

When he’s around more, will he notice it when it slowly gets worse? Mmh, yeah!! He definitely notice when you are feeling more down, seeing how your interactions change and how your laughs become more forced.

In the beginning he will just try to make you feel all the “positive” feelings, not wanting you to feel any “negative” emotions at all

this man definitely represses his own trauma a lot and has a horrible way of coping with it so I doubt he would be the most emotionally intellectual person to help you through it

Though when you show that you don’t feel like showing your sadness aside and you just want someone to share it with / need some comfort he will adjust to your needs

Albedo:

Boy as impeccable observation skills, he will notice immediately when something is off.

However - he somehow struggles to understand your feelings. Like. At all.

When he asks you what’s wrong and you tell him that there is not a reason for your feelings, you just feel a bit depressed that’s all, he will not get it.

How do you feel a certain emotions without something causing it? There must be a reason for it.

And honestly he’s right there is always a reason for a certain feeling to arise, but sometimes they aren’t easy to understand for yourself or to spot, sometimes it’s just that your inner child needs a hug and it takes you three weeks and a metal breakdown to understand that this is all you needed… plus a good cry

He’s gonna be so awkward at trying to comfort you, making you feel better, at first. Trying everything out to cheer you up, he really doesn’t want you to feel bad. Asks around for advice what helps others when they are sad.

Honestly? The things he does, the small presents he gifts you - they are nice and make you feel loved, but it doesn’t make the bad feelings go away. Even worse it somehow builts up this immense pressure for you to get better quick because look! Albedo does nice things, he tries to help. He tries to figure it out. Why can’t you give him the results he hopes to get???

Only when someone (Timadeus for sure) finally tells Albedo that it’s not a special dish or flower or even place that helps with sad feelings - it’s that they remind them of something that’s comforting. Klee told him Dodoco helps when she’s sad, because Dodoco reminds her how much her mum loves her. So when people told him about certain foods or flowers - it was more because those were valuable for those individuals, doesn’t mean it has value to you. Most importantly is that he’s just there for you.

With that new bits of information he will try to adjust to your needs more, to learn what you need and to understand it.

He will be so upfront about it too, coming into your room and telling you that he’s been trying to make you feel better the past couple of weeks and noticing how your mood has not improved at all. Finally asks you what you need opposed to him only having asked why you feel that way

Will definitely make you cry with how he approaches the topic. When he apologises for making you cry you cry even harder at how soft he says it.

Albedo will remember what he was told, that it’s important to just be there for someone, so he will stay at your side, his hand on your back rubbing it while you are just sobbing.

After the tears have calmed down you can just be honest with him, tell him that you sometimes don’t know yourself what will make it better, that sometimes you just have to life with the feelings and accept them - but that his attempts really didn’t help.

He will apologise for putting more pressure on you, asking if you need a hug (something a lot of people have told him helps them but he was just to shy to actually try it out). After saying yes you both stay for a long time in the hug, the first thing in a long time to make you feel better.

Yoimiya:

My love, the light of my life, my future main - she would be SO good at helping you through an episode.

Notices the way you act towards her changes and immediately confronts you about it, afraid that something in the relationship is amiss until you tell her the truth that you are a bit depressed.

Canonically the one with the best communication skills, if you were to put her, Diluc and Kaeya in a room I’m 1000% sure those two would leave it as brothers again.

That said she can sometimes be a bit too overwhelming - she can talk a lot, but she’s a good listener too, but in her attempt to fix the issue she goes a bit overboard.

She’ll want you to talk it all out which isn’t a bad thing per se, but sometimes you just don’t feel like talking or that talking would help.

However the way Yoimiya is it will make you communicate with her more about how you feel and what you need - she kinda just seems to be more approachable and the kind of person you can pour my heart out to after meeting her on the toilets of a bar.

Will cuddle you as long as you need.

And honestly? 100% sure she would even make you a firework to cheer you up that you both watch from her favourite spot on a blanket while doing so (the cuddling!)

or you know maybe it’s just what I would really want to do with her when I’m depressed aka RIGHT NOW MAN

[cinnamonest]

Kaeya is really touchy with his darling, right? So then,, what are the other Yan’s love languages?

NICE I love the love languages stuff! Sorry this was from April but I'm finally getting to it! Usually the two are similar, but sometimes people have different ways of expressing love versus how they want to receive it, so I'll elaborate on that as well. Enjoy my rareish semi-fluffy stuff, boys and which of the 5 love languages they are :3 Kazuha - quality time

Honestly, he's a simple boy. All he really needs to be happy and feel mutual love is sit with you close to him, arms wrapped around you, preferably with you returning the gesture. He has a lot of feelings and fears for the future, lots of emotions all bottled up, so someone to listen to him means a lot. Taking the time to listen to all he has to say makes him sheepish and embarrassed even, but as long as you assure him it's ok, he'll keep coming back for more of your listening ears.

Also, he likes to go on walks. These can be talking or not, sometimes he just likes walking in silence. Either way, accompanying him on said walks is a way to endear yourself to him and show him you love him. Sometimes it's just silently walking down beaches or pathways or in circles around the ship deck, sometimes it's him venting, sometimes it's him gushing about this or that... either way, basically providing him with an outlet for his emotions and spending time with him is what matters.

Zhongli -  gifts, quality time

Sugar daddy

But in all seriousness he's big on spoiling a darling. I mean let's be real it's probably someone else's money OR this is in an era where he could just make some, so he will literally get you anything you could ask for, hell, anything he sees you looking at, tons of things you have no use for but he just likes the way your eyes light up all the same. It makes you happy, and that's what love is about, right? Wanting to make people you love happy.

However, for himself, it's a quality time thing, similar to Kazuha's where it's a lot of listening. He has a lot to say sometimes and can get to rambling about details of this or that thing he somehow manages to be an expert on, and while he usually catches himself early on, sometimes he can REALLY go on a while. He knows you don't have any clue what he's talking about, and probably don't really care, but if you sudden bring up a detail that shows you were listening -- it makes him feel oddly warm inside, like you actually think what he talks about is important and care about it. It makes him chuckle a bit, pat your head. He tells you if you're bored you don't have to listen.... so if you insist on doing so anyway, well, that just makes him feel even better inside, oddly validated in a way.

Kaeya  -  words of affirmation, touch

Is sex a love language?

But in all seriousness, yes as per the opening of the ask, he's very touchy. By 'touch' in this case, that... does translate to sex about 90% of the time. Can you blame him?? It's because he loves you! If he didn't love you he wouldn't wanna get his dick in you so bad! It's love that makes him so handsy and touchy, always rubbing you and running the edges of his fingers under your shirts and skirts and shorts even in public, hands wrapping around your waist and hips, sneaking fondles here and there... and it's out of love that you get railed all the time. His peak happiness is just being balls deep inside you, bodies pressed up against each other, moving slow and gentle and gradually building up... and he wants you to feel like that's love, too. To be honest he gets genuinely sad if you don't see it that way, or if you don't understand it as an expression of love. It seems so natural and innate that being pressed up close together should invoke feelings of love, right?

As for how he understands love as a recipient, well, pretty much the same thing, any sign of eagerness or willingness or especially initiative to fuck sets his brain off. But also, he's weak to any attempts to boost his ego. Say anything positive about him and he'll get excited and let it go to his head, particularly if your words of choice make him feel strong or powerful or capable.

Also speaking of touch, surprisingly big on handholding, especially in public. Sure part of it is a "signaling to others to back off" sort of thing, but he just likes the warmth of your hand as well.

Diluc - touch

It might be a bit surprising, given the stoic nature but... just give this man a hug. Please.

Being inside you is very very nice of course, but he's also notably a cuddly person when you get past the rough exterior. He likes to just sit you in his lap and hold you, spoon you in bed at night, etc.

And as for giving, he doesn't really have knowledge of how to go about other things. He's not good with words at all, he doesn't really know what gifts to get, and despite his affection he's not really submissive enough of a person to go about acts of service, and he's very busy, so while he might get quality time, it's not too often. In the end he doesn't really know how to do anything else, so if he really wants to express affection, the only way he can really think of is just wrapping his arms around you and squeezing. Sometimes a little too hard, like sir I'm asphyxiating please

Also it takes him a while to work up to it. At first he's just too nervous and can barely touch you without retracting his hand back out of nervousness, but he gets used to it.

Razor - quality time, touch

The others are kind of foreign concepts, really. But touch and time is how his kind bond! It's what he's used to. Nuzzling his face into your shoulders and neck and wrapping arms around you and holding you tight. He will often just cling to you physically in some way, holding your wrist in his hand or reaching out to embrace you at random. Of course, sex is a part of it, gotta have that too, it means love to him because he gets the urge whenever he thinks about loving you! And not gonna lie, he tries to remember you don't really like it but, he'll lick you every now and then too. It just comes naturally because he gets excited 'cause he loves you so much!! Lick lick.

Quality time comes in many forms. Every second is quality time in its own way, but especially naps in the sun and walks through the woods. Fun fact: wolf mates go on little "walks" together occasionally, breaking off from the rest of the pack to get alone time. It's fun! You can run through the woods with him! The naps combine the two expressions of touch and time, getting to spend lots of quiet, valuable time, all while snuggled up close. It's nice.

He doesn't really understand if you try to communicate love otherwise, but he'll kind of grasp that it's nice. But really, in the end he wants touch and time too. It's the only form he really understands. The rest just leave him a bit "??" But a nuzzle and a nap in the sun are things he understands perfectly.

Xingqiu - gifts, words of affirmation

The first is more how he shows, the second how he receives. It's a rather selfish form of love, really, because it benefits him as well and it's not exactly difficult. He doesn't have to put a lot of work into gifting, since he can pretty much get anything he asks for out of his father, and even if he says no to something, well, father won't notice a few hundred thousand mora gone from the stash of money kept in his bedroom, right? And he loves giving you gifts because of your reaction! You smile and say thank you and it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside... and he likes to think that maybe you feel indebted to him, maybe you're awed and impressed by how he manages to find you such expensive and rare things, maybe it makes you look up to him and see him as superior a bit. Hopefully.

However, because he's got so much wealth already, so gifts don't really do much for him. He responds well to praise, though, especially if you compliment him on the things he cares about, like his sword skills, his writing, his vigilantism. Make him feel like the protagonist he is inside his head, and he'll be beaming with pride and happiness, it makes him feel important, which translates to feeling loved.

Chongyun - quality time, acts of service

In particular, he likes to have you around when he's training. You don't have to train yourself, just be by his side. It makes him more motivated, so he's noticed. Not to mention, he likes showing off if possible to impress you.

Also, he likes having someone to vent to. He's a sweet boy, but he has his stressors and frustrations. He's used to strict self-discipline and normally refrains from talking about his feelings too much, but if you make him feel like your presence is a safe place for him to come to, he will end up almost becoming dependent on getting to emotionally unload on you every day, recalling all the details of every bad thing that happened and waiting for your soft comfort.

Here, "acts of service" is more like... consideration. Little moments where he's reminded you remember his needs and care about them. You make food and note that you made it especially free of anything hot, just for him! Or you make his little popsicles when he forgets, you help him deal with the damage and destruction of his most recent episode. Little acts like that make him feel appreciated, loved and cared for.

Childe - acts of service

Similar to Kaeya and touch, acts of service is... yeah it's basically sex. It falls more into the category of acts of service because it's a little different in nature from Kaeya's -- he loves normal sex of course, and cuddles are nice too, but in his mind really loving him is about taking initiative and doing things to him... in other words, to translate that in simple terms... blow him. Please. It would make him the happiest man in the world. Or ride him. Just anything that feels like you taking some initiative and making him feel wanted. ...And making him feel worshipped is nice too, getting you down on your knees in front of him or any act of service and submission gives him a sort of high from the ego boost and masculine validation.

And he's similar with how he expresses it himself. Most likely candidate to eat you out against your will. One infuriating and potentially humiliating thing about him is he's one of the most insistent to ensure you cum every single time, if you don't cum from him fucking you he'll just force your legs open and eat you out or shove his fingers into you until you do. Because he loves you and orgasms equate to love in his mind.

Venti - acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts

It's more on the giving end for him -- specifically, he can be a very sappy individual when he's in love, to a point it's nauseating to the people around you, really. But he spends a lot of time writing you poems and songs. To him, song is one of the utmost powerful expressions of love. It sort of combines the service and words -- the writing itself is a labor of love, but the words are filled with praises. He genuinely spends a lot of time on it, though, and it's really important to him that you like the things he makes and plays for you, and will continuously modify his next pieces to what he perceives as your taste. He's a bit of a perfectionist on stuff like that.

Venti is actually rather shy when it comes to receiving love. He tends to be very no, you don't have to do that for me! And things like gifts can make him feel a bit guilty, so... you just have to give him stuff he likes so much he's too busy indulging to feel guilt. Namely alcohol. He gets a bit red in the face, but, deep down he likes words of affirmation and compliments too, even the lightest of sweet words he'll replay in his head over and over for days after you say them.

Bennett - acts of service

One of the quickest ways to endear yourself to him is the simple act of helping him. This can manifest in several ways, such as healing his wounds when he's all scraped up or just come back from an adventure, helping him patch up his clothes that get ripped so much, helping him find some thing he lost in the woods yet again, or following him on one of said adventures. People don't really have him in mind too often, he tends to get forgotten a lot and left to handle things all on his own, and as a result, someone who reaches out to help him has a significant impact on him, he finds himself unable to stop thinking about it and the warm feeling it gives him to know that someone cares.

As a result, he starts basically mimicking the same behaviors because it's all he really knows how to do. He wants to give you the same warm happiness that you give him, so he tries to help you out with the things you need, complete tasks he knows would be helpful to you. Unfortunately for him, this tends to backfire as something usually goes wrong and it turns into a mess that he fears will just make you hate him. Poor baby.

Albedo - quality time

He's one of those people that really loves to just spend time in the presence of the people he loves -- you don't have to be doing something together, or the same thing. Even if you're just reading a book or drawing or something on your own, he likes you to be nearby him. It's kinda cute how if you go wandering off or go into another room, he'll wait a minute, then silently kinda come peeking around the corner to check on you because?? Why did you leave? Did he do something to upset you? He's too proud to explicitly ask you to come back, but he might blatantly follow you to the room you're in, claiming it's just better lighting in here, or the other room was too cold, or some other excuse.

He still likes doing things with you, though, too. Another favorite is late night conversations, the kind you get into once you're already laying in bed in the dark, pressed against each other and mumbling little thoughts that occur to you before you drift off to sleep, questions about tomorrow, or a hey remind me to do this or that, that sort of thing. Little conversations you never really finish, your voices get softer and sleepier with each moment, you eventually close your eyes as you talk back and forth, until one of you eventually doesn't get a response, and then drifts off themselves.... and in the morning neither of you remember who was the last person to speak or what the conversation was even about in the end.

Xiao - touch

He just doesn't... get much else. Words are hard. He doesn't know whether this or that gift or gesture is considered appropriate to present to a human as  sign of love, and those kinds of things, words and gifts and stuff, embarrass him too much... and he doesn't every really know whether or not he's correct when interpreting your actions and words either. How does he know the gift isn't just because you wanted to be nice, or that the nice things you said were just meant mildly, and he's just indulging in wishful thinking when he thinks it means more? Ugh. It's too troublesome to have to deal with.

But touch... it's straightforward and easy and impossible to misunderstand. And it's also objectively the best, he thinks, even without the issues in understanding it's just what he feels the most natural urge towards. Why would anyone do any differently? Why do humans waste their time giving each other gifts and compliments and stuff when they could just do the thing that feels so much better than that other stuff? It confuses him. He doesn't want material goods, he just wants to cuddle you and put his dick in you. Yeah it... also translates to sex here, similar to Kaeya. Like, he likes it when you kiss his forehead and snuggle up close, but those things will inevitably result in wanting more. And he loves the rests you two take, half-asleep soundly wrapped up and bodies pressed close, spooning with his arms latched onto you. It's just that said rests/naps are almost always very much naked due to being after cumming in you a few times.

Scaramouche - acts of service, words of affirmation, touch

I mean, you're kinda forced into the acts of service thing, but the idea is that you start to perform said acts willingly, or without needing to be commanded. Eventually you get to where you do things on your own initiative, and he likes to think maybe you just want to (and not because you've been beaten into doing it so many times it's become instinctive, definitely not that). A lot of it is just tasks, but similar to Childe's acts of service, it's definitely a sex thing too, wants you to show initiative and do things on your own -- not that you won't likely get told not to do shit like that without permission, but he still does like it, internally.

Words of praise are similar. Say anything nice about him and he'll probably accuse you of lying or trying to manipulate him/get something, but deep down he kinda thrives on anything positive you have to say or think about him. Not that you'd ever know.

As for how he actually shows love, well... does... he...? Yes actually, primarily it's a touch thing. Not always pleasant touches, but touches. It's similar to how other yans equate different things with love, like Childe sees orgasms as a form of love, to him possession is the utmost expression of "love" in the sense that he perceives it. Possession, to own a thing completely and entirely, to have full power over something... that sort of connection is incredibly intimate, when you think about it. It's a connection on a deep level, it's loving. So anything that expresses possession -- pleasant or unpleasant for you -- is thus an expression of love.

[wh6res]

one more time | markhyuck

"if i'm going to teach you how to fuck her right, you’re gonna need the best seat in the house, markie!" — lhc 

warnings. dubious content, swearing, bondage, voyeurism, masturbation, exhibitionism, mentions of stalking, fingering, oral (f receiving), degradation, there’s a knife (but no knifeplay), a threesome, implied kidnapping 

disclaimer. i dont condone anything. this isnt a normal relationship. this aint love.

note. prolly going to hell for this but who cares. markhyuck for @nakamotocore​ i wuv ya ie please get better soon! TT and dom hyuck for my napaka kalat na mami @donghyukcore​

against all rational thinking, haechan is getting bored from seeing the pathetic five feet distance between you and mark when he comes home. he tries to understand the other male in the relationship. truly, he does, even if he highly doubts that celibate little mark lee can pleasure you the way he can but everything's practically past that line now. donghyuck just wants to have some fun with you two, is that too much to ask for? at this point, he's blatantly ignoring the fact that you and mark don't even like each other.

but haechan cares for mark just as much as he cares about you and he won't just let his best friend miss out on all the fun things he can do to their little doll, right? what kind of a friend would he be? once haechan shoves him into a world of temptation and sin and pleasure, mark would kiss his self-induced celibacy goodbye.

plus, you've been awfully naughty these days.

talks about wanting to come home or getting at least a few rights to have gadgets were the only thing you said whenever you see him. it went as far as practically growling and running away from haechan when he tries to initiate something with you, screeching your lungs out and saying, "don't fucking touch me, you creepy little psycho!"

deflowering mark.

punishing you.

he'd be killing two birds with one stone.

he's fucked your stubborn little self into submission once, but all that overprivileged tv sessions might've put silly little ideas into your dumb little head again. alas, no worries, he'll just have to do it one more time. and maybe, now with the aid of his good 'ol buddy mark, they'll both be able to screw you up so good you'll never want to leave their clutches.

"gumdrop, can you come here for a second?"

haechan isn't deaf to the exaggerated groan you let out from the living room and it grates on his nerves how utterly brave you are for being passive aggressive. you reminded him of a little girl in a temper tantrum because they weren't given any candy - and when you show up in the master bedroom clad in your little pink dress, eyes upturned and sharp, a pathetic little girl was all he can think of when he saw you.

only now did he notice that you had even detangled your hair from the intricate braids haechan spent at least twenty minutes doing earlier this morning. where was mark all this time? why wasn’t he there to stop you? geez, you both are so going to get it, this time!

"what do you want?"

"can you give me a hug? i felt awfully stressed at work today. i need my little gumdrop."

this was obviously a test. don't get him wrong, he'll still punish you but if just this one time you learned to swallow that bitchy attitude and come crawling to him as the perfect lover should, maybe he won't be too harsh.

but he gave you too much credit, he thinks. of course his dumb cockwhore doesn't know shit. of fucking course, you wouldn't know it was a test. not when you scoffed, rolled your eyes at him, and spun in your heels to walk back to the living room.

"beat your meat with your own hands, creep."

haechan's reaction is immediate, his long legs allowing no delay in crossing the room to mercilessly fist your hair. he had pulled your hair so bad you thought it was going to rip right at the roots, all of his pent up anger due to your poor behavior channeling into that one grip.

you feel his scoff of disbelief against the curve of your neck as haechan pulls you flush against his body. "what the fuck did you just say to me?" he laughs patronizingly. "beat my meat with my own hands – aw, baby! that has got to be the best one yet!"

it truly was, though. he's not going to lie. out of every vicious snarl and hate-induced words you said to him, that particular offhand comment takes the cake. seriously, sometimes haechan thinks you're deliberately trying to make him furious – gumdrop, if you wanted to be fucked silly, all you had to do was ask.

he hurls you to the mattress, breath knocking right out of your lungs. before you can even sit back up and crawl away from haechan, he's already crawling over your body to sit directly on your stomach, fiddling with something on the headboard. you nearly scream in frustration, no matter what you do, you just can't throw him off of you!

"i don't know why the fuck you're behaving this way but it's gone too far. one more time. do i need to fuck some respect into you, one more time?”

a new wave of motivation surges through you when you hear the familiar click clacking of metal. your eyes widened just a fraction, the only thing that gave away the unease quickly seeping under your skin. if not for haechan's perceptive eyes, he would have missed it.

he merely used one hand to grip both your wrists in a vice. "no!" you squirmed, tossing and turning and trying with all your might to get him off of you. "no! i don't want that – not the cuffs!"

he loops the respective bands around your wrists with practiced ease. the last handcuffs he used had torn and marked your skin, something haechan wasn't fond of. only he can paint your bare skin with colors.

thus, he bought newer ones. the bands were a bright shade of red, connected to each other using a medium sized chain that loops around one of the steel wires of the bed, and the little bells attached to the bands ring with your every movement.

haechan knows the bells drove you crazy. its incessant ringing driving you up the wall as you couldn't keep your hands still whenever he fucked you to oblivion – he knew how much you loathed the sound of the bells, all the more reason for him to enjoy.

and mark, too. speaking of which…

you stubbornly pull at your bounded hands, glaring at the man before you as he studies your state. the corners of his lips curl up at the sight of you struggling. "you always look so good in red, gumdrop."

before you were given a chance to reply, he stormed out of the room with a sense of purpose bounding his steps. "lee donghyuck!" you screamed. "fucking come back and get me out of these, you pervert!"

he can hear you thrashing in your chains and yelling profanities from a room away. where was the demure girl he turned you into after only a week living in the apartment? though funny enough, the blood in haechan's sadistic side rushes in excitement at the prospect of wiping that glare off your face. it wasn't the fear, nor your submission that gets him off. it was the idea that he can and he will break you down no matter how many times you try to build yourself back up again.

he's not too sure whether he's going to eliminate that dirty mouth you've developed, though. because you did make him snort in the most unattractive way when you told him he can fucking jack himself off when he had been merely asking for a hug. this aggressive side you developed is… nice. he can work with it.

"can you ask your play thing to keep it down?" mark hisses, flinching and making an offkey sound with his guitar when a certain screech from you caught him off-guard.

haechan smiles.

"why don't you shut her up?"

it took a good few minutes trying to talk mark into stepping into the bedroom where he's got you chained to the headboard, but alas, haechan can be persuasive if he wants to be.

frankly, the younger man is sick and tired of hearing both of you bicker – it's no wonder you've developed a sharp tongue! it's all mark's fault and yet it's haechan that has to do the dirty work of setting you straight all over again. you're a tough cookie to crack, someone hauntingly immune to the violence and chaos.

and yet…

"you don't – don't seriously plan on doing this, do you?" your eyes go back and forth between the two males, primarily addressing the younger, devil-spawned male. haechan, ever observant, picks up the light tremor in your voice.

haechan had uttered a playful "if i'm going to teach you how to fuck her right, you're gonna need the best seat in the house, markie!" before forcing the older boy to sit by your side, mark's thighs grazing the temples of your head as your eyes awkwardly flutter up to the spectator.

mark couldn't deny he was intrigued by the emotion reflecting in your orbs. when your eyes met, it was a silent plea, he just knew it was. and unlike vulnerable and helpless you, mark, to some extent, still had at least some sense of freedom to him. he can choose to walk away, to stop haechan from trying to get him laid, maybe even talk the other boy into postponing your punishment.

but he'll do no such thing.

not because he has a moral compass (he doesn't, really) but because mark knew firsthand, there's no stopping haechan once he sets his mind into something – and right now, if that boy wants to punish you and use mark to fulfil his exhibitionistic fantasies then that's what'll happen.

your bottoms were the first to go, haechan's blunt nails digging into your skin as he pulled it down slowly, patronizingly, while watching bemused at your squirming. "this is how you know she needs a reminder," he says, addressing mark. "a good princess should take whatever's given to her like a good girl but if she's being an ungrateful brat –"

you flinch when he harshly smacks your thigh.

"– she gets what’s coming for her, right?"

there's a second's delay with mark's reply. haechan didn't mean for the question to be rhetorical, he wanted an answer from the other boy.

"right, mark?"

"r – right…"

haechan laughs, flipping the skirt of your dress up. "what, are you that excited for pussy that you're stuttering? that's cute."

you hear mark intake a sharp breath when haechan dives in to give you feathery kisses in your inner thigh. he always starts off this way, after figuring out this gets you wet way faster than simply kissing you.

as haechan starts talking, lips lazily grazing over your skin, you fight hard not to utter a single sound as you pull on your chains. "listen carefully, markie. do you hear those whimpers? she likes it," you feel the prickles of his sharp stare. "she's just too much of a fucking brat to admit it. go on gumdrop, your fighting spirit makes this all the more interesting."

you hate the patronizing tone he used as his hands trail higher, and higher until it's pinching at the bud of your clit. and against your whole being trying to keep your lips sealed, alas, it parts and creates a soft whimper that has mark stiffening next to you.

haechan lays his tongue flat against your folds. you weren't in the least bit wet yet to accommodate his size, but that's easy. he merely circles the bud with the tip of his tongue before pushing two fingers in. months of standing in the shadows outside your window had made him memorize the movement of your fingers whenever you pleasured yourself.

he felt the jolts of the bed as you shook your head side to side, trying with everything you can to hold your moans in. a corner of his lips can’t help but curl up. "what, gumdrop? too shy to lose yourself because we have an audience? don't worry our celibate little friend over here seems to like it. go on, give him a show."

too lost in the ministrations of his lips and fingers, you don't see haechan meeting eyes with mark, nodding at an object lying on the bed side table. you can only shudder when the cool tip of a knife presses against the base of your throat, hooking under the collar of your dress as mark slowly rips it off.

but haechan doesn't have the patience. "dude, give that to me. at your phase you'll get her naked tomorrow. let the tip cut her skin, the bitch deserves it anyway."

you scream when he drags it unceremoniously down your front, narrowly missed tearing at your navel. there are a few pricks of pain here and there for when the knife accidentally nicked your skin. he sure was ruthless as can be. why did you even bother acting like a brat, cursed him out, when it gave you no benefits whatsoever? did he unknowingly transform you into this sick little masochist that thrived on his sadism?

"no."

it was a defeated whisper. the last of your resolve turning into dust as the breath escapes your lungs. why did losing feel so heavy in your chest? you don't notice your arms slumping, nor your head nodding off to one side, the weight of your horrible reality sinking into you once again as if you had only been kidnapped yesterday.

but it had not been yesterday. it's been days. weeks. months. and the last time you sneakily got ahold of mark's phone and searched for your name, the last news clip or article published about your disappearance had been three months ago. that only meant one thing.

they weren't looking for you anymore.

just like that the world continued, other people's lives continued. all the while you're stuck here, rotting in the arms of your captors.

haechan's face emerged in front of you. he smiles and you would've believed he felt an ounce of guilt if not for that wicked stare in his eyes. "you've always been most beautiful like this, gumdrop. the hope disappearing in your eyes upon the realization that no one's coming for you anymore – i love it. i love you, my pretty girl."

he placed a chaste kiss on your forehead but he might as well have shot you straight in the heart.

there was no warning, nothing to ready you for the sudden intrusion happening on your bottom half and it was so bad, that it made you shut your eyes, hands wrapping around the chains as tears started falling across your cheeks.

rough fingers reached out and wiped them away.

something felt off.

the fingers were too calloused, opposed to the softness of haechan's nimble fingers. and while the aforementioned male had more length than girth, the person who's thrusting himself inside you is the complete opposite. he's stretching you out too much, not even bothering to give you time to adjust when he's already bucking his hips like an animal.

"shh, it's okay. i'll take care of you…"

this wasn't haechan.

and when you fluttered your eyes open to see mark's boyish little face, you can't help that look of betrayal painting your features. at least you only had to deal with one obsessive, sex-deprived freak. now, you're not so sure if you can handle both of them.

how foolish of you to think that mark's self-induced celibacy stretched far and wide when in reality, he was also just a boy with his own needs. a slave to his own temptations.

how cruel. so, so cruel.

in the back of your mind, you were thankful haechan cared enough to properly get you in the mood or else you would've been staining the bed sheets red by how deep and frantic mark’s thrusts were. it felt like he wanted to tear you in half.

"if i didn't know better i'd say you're experienced, markie! i wouldn't fucking know you're a virgin by how much you're humping her like a dog.”

curse him and his dirty mouth. his constant degradation is making it easier for mark to slide in and out of you, and a proof for that is the lewd slick sounds echoing in the room partnered with the older male's deep grunts – a complete opposite of the pitched, whiny sounds haechan makes.

'gumdrop, come on! be noisy with our first-timer here just how you're always noisy with me, yeah? don't be such a killjoy." the pout in his voice is evident, coming from the side of your ear.

you wish you had never turned your head, otherwise you wouldn't have to see him pumping his own dick in his hands right in front of you. the glare you shot probably looked pathetic, what with all the tears streaming down your face and your little theory proves true when you see his mouth quirk up to the side.

"i fucking hate you."

"mark, fuck her harder, wouldja? until she learns her fucking lesson."

the disturbed stare you gave him does not slip his notice, his hand's pace turning erratic, spurred by the slick sound of your walls, skin clapping, and mark's broken whines.

make him stop, your eyes said. please.

but haechan only shoots you an innocent smile before shaking his head. "didn't you tell me to beat my meat with my own hands?"

taglist !!

@hoeartchoke @donghyukcore @stopknot @greenish-taro @stayvision @zhongriot @lmaoskz @zephyr-abyss @anonymous-stuff @josuke8 @jaemotel @gothboyjisung​

wanna be added to my general taglist? click here! ​

jenoluck (c) all rights reserved

[mindofharry]

In which bucky and you are hooking up and he doesn’t appreciate you until you’re gone.

angst!! so much angst!! swearing, bucky saying stuff he doesn’t mean and a whole lot of crying. feedback is welcome as always <3

roughly based around the time the falcon and the winter soldier meet up again :D enjoy, lovers!

losing you masterlist.

You met Bucky just after he moved into the apartment block. He looked pretty lost and you, being you, decided to lend a helping hand and help out a neighbour.

You did not expect him to end up in your bed the next morning.

It was unexpected and kind of childish, but he made your heart pound and your lips to as red as a cherry. Bucky barnes had you wrapped around his finger before he even knew your name, he just had that kind of charisma. You wanted to be around him all the time, be more than just the causal hook up. Not just someone he calls when he needs to let off steam. You want to be it for him. Bucky is unpredictable and stubborn, but you were sure you could fix him or at least help him onto a better path.

He just wouldn’t let you in.

You’d have sex, and then he’d kick you out. He wouldn’t even let you stay the night. Which at first you didn’t really care about as he would always greet you with a smile and walk you to the local bar. Bucky would have actual conversations with you, that was only for a week. The sex got more hot, more steamy and a lot more fucking rough. He didn’t greet you in the morning, not even a smile and he most definitely didn’t walk you to the bar anymore. He said it was a waste of his time.

You’re a confident person, you don’t usually let people like bucky barnes hurt you this much.

But he was so much more than a hook up to you, you loved him.

It was wednesday, so that means when bucky is done with his lunch he’d text and you’d meet him at his apartment. That’s what happens every wednesday and you never question it. Why would you? A strapping man like bucky wants you in some way. You’re not going to let it go because you have feelings for him.

It might be a little selfish, but you loved him too much.

You made yourself something to eat and watched some downtown abbey to calm yourself down. Bucky liked it when you were chill and not your usual bubbly self. You’ve changed yourself completely for this man. You hope it’s all worth it in the end.

After eating and relaxing for a bit, you decide to shower and get ready for buckys. You want to look nice, show him what he’s missing.

You wash your body with multiple shower gels, and decide to shave your legs - which really, you didn’t want to it’s a lot of effort and you’re just not in the mood today. But if bucky likes it, you’ll do it.

He mentioned once while you were in bed that he loved how smooth your legs are. So you shaved them before every hook up.

“You’re amazing” You reminded yourself, putting on your mascara. The make up will only come off, but again you want to make a good and lasting impression on him. You never used to wear makeup, just a bit a blusher and the occasional gloss. But bucky likes it. It’s always about what bucky likes and dislikes. Your mother would be so disappointed in you.

You shake your head to get rid of those thoughts and walk into your room. This time you pick something you want to wear. Opening up your closet you pull out your flowery, summery, dress that got at a marker in spain. Your family flew there and spent the summer in a nice little villa. It was the only bit of a peace you felt. When you came home, it felt like everything you left behind came crashing down.

Maybe that’s why you depend so much on bucky. You never wanted to be that person, but bucky makes it so hard. And you’re definitely not blaming him for you becoming so attached, you’re definitely the one to blame. But bucky is just, he’s just this great guy.

Or at least he was.

You get it, he lost a lot of people in the blip and after the blip. You lost people too. But it obviously affected him more, so you’re cutting him some slack.

Even if he doesn’t really deserve it.

After getting dressed and making yourself look some what presentable you text bucky to let him know you’re on the way to his apartment - it was only a 30 second walk, but you know he liked his privacy, so you warn him each time.

There was no response. As per usual, you thought rolling your eyes. You strolled down to his apartment taking your time, the weather looked nice enough. Maybe you’ll go for a walk after this, you know you won’t be staying long in buckys home.

You knock on the door, looking down at your phone. Still no messages. Now this, was surprising. Even if he didn’t text he’d always let you know in some way if he couldn’t make it. Bucky may be a dick, but he’d never leave you waiting.

You wait outside for a minute and contemplate leaving, but your hear footsteps walking towards you. You look over and see the man you love.

Bucky Barnes.

And he did not look happy. Angry, frustrated and confused maybe, but not happy. Usually he’s in a good mood after meeting up with his little friend for lunch. Did something happen? You don’t want to pressure him, but you need him to know you’re always there for him.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when bucky stepped infront of you, his eyebrows furrowed and scowl on his face.

“What are you doing here?” He asked fishing out his keys. You start to get annoyed, this man is really testing you. But you push that feeling down and put a smile on your face, placing a hand on his shoulder. Bucky shrugged it off, the smile fell off your face. Bucky noticed, but didn’t say anything.

“I’m busy today” He said putting the key into the door, trying to open it. He obviously put the wrong one in, frustrating him even more.

“We always meet up on wednesdays, and i did text you. But you never replied so i just assumed” You said, messing with the hem of your dress.

You wish he’d compliment you.

“Well you assumed wrong and i need you to leave. Got a date tonight” He said finally opening up his door. Your heart broke, it actually felt like it shattered into a million different piece. A date? With another person? Fuck, you didn’t think this far ahead. You thought that one day he would just realise. That it’s been you, you’re the one he wants. But obviously you were wrong.

You were wrong about a lot of fucking things.

But you put a brave face on and walked into his apartment, closing the door behind you. Again, you didn’t want to intrude but you needed to know how serious this date is. You need to know if this is the end of you and bucky.

Bucky sighed as he saw you standing in his hallway, he looked exasperated. Like you were a chore he forgot about or had been putting off. He looked at you like you were exhausting. Maybe you are. You should’ve never agreed to this hook up, friends with benefits shit. It always ends badly.

“Y/N, i said you need to leave” Bucky said placing a hand over his eyes. You nodded and instead of leaving you sat beside him. Bucky looked over at you and you’ve never seen him angrier.

“Are you deaf?” he asked and you flinched at his tone. “I have a date, and i need you to get the fuck out of my house” Bucky said and you sighed standing up.

“You’re an asshole” You mumbled and bucky stood up as well.

“You don’t say that when i’m balls deep in you” He replied, placing a hand on your cheek. He wasn’t rough when he grabbed you, but it did scare you a bit.

“This was just sex Y/N. Nothing more. You’re not my type, you’re too exhausting and tiring for me. I’m not interested in that sort of shit. Get the hell out of my home” Bucky said sternly letting go of your face. You searched his eyes for any sign of remorse or guilt, but nothing. He looked proud of himself really.

You sighed to yourself and wiped under your eyes. This is it. Fuck, ok don’t cry Y/N.

“I hope you enjoy your date” You said walking past him.

“Oh, I will” he smirked, watching as you left his apartment. You held back a sob as you ran to your apartment, ignoring on the stares and pitiful looks. You needed to leave the place.

You called your mom and told her the whole story and surprisingly she wasn’t disappointed.

“I could never be disappointed in you, baby. look at you, you’re amazing” Your mom said making you giggle. “That man doesn’t know what he just lost. a great friend is one of them. Now, men aren’t something you should be crying over. Go get yourself freshened up and then relax. You deserve it, honey” She said and you nodded to yourself, sitting up on your bed.

The tears were almost instant. Your mother hated to hear you cry. She lived so far away, and you just needed her hugging and cooking to make all of this pain go away. Heartbreaks are normal, their natural and everyone goes through it. It just hurts even more when the person you love the most doesn’t love you back.

“I love him” You admitted and your mom sighed. You could tell that she hated this too. “I met him when he was kind to me, he would walk me to the bar sometimes work too” You said and tried to stop the tears, but they just kept coming. “He was sweet. He would cuddle with me and not throw me out of his home. And he would listen, he would listen to anything i had to say” You sobbed.

“What did i do wrong? What did i do to make him hate me, mom?”

Your mother let out a pained sound. She just wanted to hug you and tell you everything would be ok.

“You did absolutely nothing wrong. This is all on him, honey. He didn’t appreciate what he had. He took advantage of your kindness and love towards him. You did nothing wrong. Never blame yourself for something like this.” She said quickly and groaned.

“I’ve gotta go” You said, and before your mom could get a word in you hung up and threw your phone against the wall.

Another thing to get fixed.

You did actually have work; but you decided you would get anything productive done. So giving yourself the day off would be good. Sit around, pig out and do not think of bucky barnes.

That lasted all of 5 minutes.

You’re now watching the notebook and didn’t get through 5 minutes of it without thinking of bucky. It’s not like you guys did actual couple things. Why are you so upset? Because you loved him, you idiot.

And now you have to get over him. If he was going on dates, you would too. If he was sleeping with other people, you would too. It’s time bucky barnes got a taste of his own medicine.

A week went by where you through yourself back into work and focused on catching up with old friends. During the day you didn’t think once about bucky, but when you got home that’s when the sob fests start. You’re pretty sure your neighbours can hear you, you feel a little bad.

Wednesday came and you didn’t once check your phone - one because it was smashed and you could barley see the screen, and two because you’re not going to be that girl anymore. You’re come to terms with the fact that bucky wasn’t for you, and although your heart is still very, very broken.

You’re doing better. You’re getting there.

On the other side of the apartment block, bucky barnes was not getting there or doing ok. You hadn’t texted him in a over a week, that’s a new record for you. Usually you send him memes or little reminders randomly. But there’s nothing, he’s been staring at his phone screen for far too long waiting for you to text.

He sighed and began typing.

�� Hey, it’s bucky. Wondering if we’re still on for tonight? X ‘

He sent it and then put his phone down, turning on his tv. The date he went on was a bust. The girl wasn’t you, he figured that out pretty quickly. It’s not the girl wasn’t good looking or anything and she was nice enough, he just couldn’t stop comparing her to you. Y/N wouldn’t get the drink or Y/N wouldn’t sit that far away, or Y/N wouldn’t totally flipped that jackass off. He left abruptly in the middle of the date because he couldn’t handle it anymore. He couldn’t handle not being with you, and that, to him was a problem. Bucky hadn’t been this dependent on a person since steve.

And steve left.

Bucky was just protecting himself, but while he was doing that - he hurt you. Immensely. He put you through so much pain in after this relationship. It was barley even a relationship, but it hurt just as much.

10 minutes went by, and there was still no response. You didn’t even read the message. Now he knows how you feel. Instead of waiting a little longer, bucky decided to just go to your apartment instead. He strolled down the hall and knocked on your door. Your neighbour came out of his home. Bucky nodded his way, the man only tutted at him.

“Poor girl” The man mumbled walking away leaving bucky confused. He shook it off and knocked again, this time you finally answered. You looked beautiful. You were wearing a tight, red dress showing all of your curves off you hair was straightened and you weren’t wearing any make up - you still looked behind beautiful.

“Bucky....” you said with furrowed brows.

“I texted but there was no reply” He said walking into your apartment and taking off his jacket. He grinned and put his hands on your hips. You were even more confused, did he just forget about last week? What he said to you?

“Did you get dressed up all for me?” He asked you cleared your throat moving back so his hands would fall off you, bucky looked at you with a scowl.

“What’s up?” he asked moving his hands to your cheeks, you remembered how he grabbed you the last time and you flinched. Bucky froze for a second and dropped his arms to his side. Something was obviously wrong.

“I’m going on a date, bucky” You said and buckys world stopped for a second. A date? With who? This can not be happening.

“Whatever we have going on, it’s done. So i don’t know why you’re here” You said walking into your room to finish getting ready, you needed to find your black heels.

You met this guy at work, and you really hit it off. So when he asked for a date, you didn’t hesitate. You were putting you first, like you should’ve been doing all along.

“Done?” Bucky asked following you, you nodded and shrugged your shoulders. “You made it pretty clear last week” You said and bucky sighed rolling his eyes. “So this is about the date?” He said and you didn’t reply.

“It’s about what you said to to me, bucky. You’re selfish and mean. And i deserve better”

Bucky sat down on the end of your bed beside you. He knew what he was doing, you were an easy lay. Bucky hates himself for breaking your heart, god knows he broke his own letting you go and saying those awful words to you. You do deserve better.

“So with that being said, i think it’s time for you to leave”

And this time, it was you kicking bucky out of your bed.

[levisgirll]

what would life with levi be like post 139?

𝐀𝐎𝐓 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 - 𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧(𝟐)

𝙃𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣 ♡♡♡

warning: mention of some spoilers about levi but not major ones as I wont be going in depth about ch 139.

A lot of really cute fluff that I’m sure will warm your heart-

Thanks for sending a question! I'm glad I got another one and ngl this is actually fun to discuss and share my thoughts and ideas with you all :,) I am guessing you are asking about what life y/n would be with Levi after the war and ch. 139 correct?

To be honest, the first thing that comes to mind is that Levi would be actually more relaxed, soft, and happier especially if he is with y/n. After losing some of his comrades, y/n there being by his side would literally make him sometimes during night go emotional and get really clingy to you and he would be extra affectionate and loving. He wants to feel your presence, wants to know you are still there during the night, and wants to definitely hold you. So y/n living with Levi, expect to have some emotional midnights with him and I feel like it would be really deep and he would share his thoughts or maybe talk it out and then he would go on and say he is thankful you are here, by his side and that he would say "Just remember, you mean a lot to me, Y/N. Don't forget that." He has a hard time trying to find the right words to express how much you mean to him but you would get the message either way from his actions and body language. Also, during those nights, he would want a shoulder to cry on and probably just hold on to you and sob a bit on your shoulder (covering his face) because after the war and he has finished serving his duty, he would think about the past and all the people he cared about and his old close comrades and friends, and since Levi is emotional he would just would want y/n to remind him that you are here and you would make him feel so special just by being by his side! hugging him, letting him speak what is in his mind, accept what has happened, and especially showing him love since this man is a bit hesitant and he would want you to do it.

Another thing I think would be like for y/n living with Levi is that to expect a lot of, sight seeing, exploring new places, he would definitely wake you up so damn early to go for this nice café and that they sell fresh baked pastries and he would get bread with you on the way back, holding your hand and keeping you really close to him. When his legs heals, expect also walking in big open green fields, and even hiking! He would only do this with y/n and if they are there and when you both went there, you realized he was really loving to you, and cared for you through his actions asking if you were okay, if you were having a good time with him and....if you were even happy with him! "Are you....happy staying with someone like me?". It breaks Y/N to hear this from him and I think after the war and everything, he would sometimes look down on himself and probably feel self conscious about his scars on his face and he thinks he is 'uglier'. You are now the one who would shut him up even if he says negative things about himself. "Do you think I-" before he even tried to finish his sentence, y/n would go and cover his mouth with their hand. "If you say it one more time, I'm going to smooch your whole face to shut you up." He would then actually laugh every time you do that and finds you adorable, and proceeds to kiss you on the lips, "I love you." He would say that so sweetly, deep and full of emotions while his eyes looking at you filled with love and lust and he would just say that so suddenly and he has been doing that quite often after you started living your life with Levi after the war and it makes you get butterflies every time (also you both are blushing like hell!) He would ask you when he is self conscious if he still looked attractive to you (this is usually when you recently got close with the other neighbors and they loved you and Levi and he would look at the young man talking to his partner, and seeing his face with no scars. He would think that y/n deserved a more better looking guy sometimes) and he would say that he wished he had his other eye to see you more clearly because you become even more beautiful to him and wants to grasp every time he looks at you really clearly, so when you go out he still thinks of you.

He would have a car and he would be pretty good at driving and he would want to take you to the places he would search up and he would literally plan the day the next day without you knowing. so expect surprise trips too! But, he wouldn't want to use his car to be honest and instead using the train for long rides! That's because, he would want his partner to be near him, let them lay on his shoulder or even lap, prepare some sandwiches for y/n and gives it to them just to see them eating the sandwich happily and he finds it really cute. Basically, he wants every interaction with you no matter what.

It would be a simple, but such a loving, warm-hearted, affectionate and basic romantic life that you both would be sooo loved and really happy together <3 he would want to make you laugh every time and he would start laughing too, would take care of you a lot, mentally, physically too even though you always told him you would do some chores instead but he insists "No love, you did enough. Just rest up for today. let me do it okay? And after this I'm taking you out." Also, he would still worry about you a lot and be protective. SO when you go out, he would still message you and wait for you and he get sad when he can't tag along. Once he didn't reply for 30 mins and he was ready to interrogate everyone to find his partner.

I feel like Levi would brag about you quite often to people he would see and talk to, such as you and Levi's neighbors and he would see them in the supermarket early morning (in some mornings you wont be with him cause you were so tired and he gave up and let you sleep in and went instead). He would be buying a bouquet of flowers (he does that every once a while) for you to surprise you when he is back and he would see his neighbors and he would literally talk so highly of y/n, and say such loving things. "Oh Levi, you actually really love Y/N. They are lucky to have you!" and he would stay slight and think. "It's me who is lucky. my whole life I have been unlucky after everything I went through, but meeting y/n. they changed my life and turned it to a better way. they understand me and love me. I love them so much....I don't want them to leave yet." He would say to them and they would encourage him to say it to you but he is kind of shy. SO! he decided to write it in a letter he was secretly hiding it from you and giving it to you for your next anniversary <3 Would defiantly learn how to bake for you, cook new things every week, buy new books that reminds him of you and read it and then he would talk to you about it for hours while drinking tea with him, would take you to shopping and buy you clothes that you would like. and behind closed doors, he wont miss a chance not to show you love, he would hug your waist from behind for soo long (its his favorite) and keeps his head on your shoulder and breathe in your beautiful scent and kiss your skin gently. "Y/N. please, just stay here for another 5 minutes." That 5 minutes was half an hour of smooching and cuddling in the coach and with some hickeys he would leave you on your shoulder (and he lowkey would want you to give him one too- and he would just give you that look saying as if he would want one right now or he wont let you go. so like I said before, clingy soft man? yes. defiantly after everything and since nothing is in his way he would do this and now you can clearly see his loving and soft side that he gives you daily.) Following that, you both would spend the evening, at the balcony, stargazing and he would look at you instead of the stars, while giving a small smile and placing his hand on the side of his cheek. That's because he really thought you were the star, sunlight and bright flower that blooms beautifully which is filled with love and happiness.

Finally, I feel like he would probably be less grumpy and not showing much of his usual stoic expression but instead, his expression would show he is finally relaxed, calm and actually happy inside because living his life with y/n after the war really helped him and made him realize that this. this is how love and life felt like, living with your true soulmate, the connection, emotions you both would share, feelings understood without being explained much, such strong emotional attraction and you were the perfect person to him. this is what changes him and makes him the most soft man out there that if the people from the survey crops where alive such as Erwin and etc. they would be shocked but extremely proud and happy of him because he really deserves it.

I hope this answered your question and this is what I would guess! Anyways, this really warmed my heart answering this and ahhh just imagine this all like, how beautiful and amazing that is? I just wish we all could give Levi a hug. He really is a great man. please feel free to send another question or anyone out there who has one! I hope you and everyone has a good day and let me know if you liked this by leaving a message anywhere, like or a reblog 🥺 ♡ ♡

[there-must-be-a-lock]

Contact Comfort

Spencer Reid x (gender neutral) Reader

Word Count: ~2000

Warnings: None, really? Emotional hurt/comfort and sorta like a touch starved deal doing on, but it’s pretty thoroughly fluffy and sugary-sweet. 

A/N: For the “bed sharing” square on my @cmbingo​ card! 

Title is from the referenced psych study, because I’m a dork. 

“One sec,” you call, wincing at how thick and nasal your voice sounds.

You wipe your cheeks hastily as you sit up. It’ll be obvious anyway, though; wouldn’t take a profiler to notice your tear tracks and blotchy face. 

It’s Spencer. Of course it is — because he’s the last person you want to see you like this, when you’re all snotty and puffy and gross. 

His eyes go wide and solemn when he sees your face, genuinely distressed. There’s that empathy again, the too-big heart that everyone seems to overlook in favor of his big brain. You love him for it. 

Well, you love him for a lot of things. 

“Hi,” he says quietly. “I was going to just ask if you were okay, but… I guess I don’t actually need to ask now.” 

You let out a watery little chuckle. “Guess not.” 

“You want some company?” He looks hopeful, almost, and then seems to catch himself, dropping his gaze with a shrug. “I understand if you just want your space, though.” 

If it was anyone else, you absolutely would not want company right now. But it’s Spencer, so. You pretty much always want him around. 

“I was just about to turn on some shitty TV because it felt too quiet in here, honestly. Company would be really nice.” 

He gives you a quick twitch of a half-smile as he steps past you, and after you close the door, there’s a pause where you both stand there and look at each other, Spencer suddenly shy as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, in a thin unhappy voice. 

“Not really. Just… one of those days. One of those cases.” 

“Can I do anything to help?”  

You hesitate, because it seems like such an immature thing to say out loud, but you’re too tired to be anything other than honest.

“I could use a hug.”  

Spencer’s expression goes all soft and sweet, and your cheeks feel hot under the drying salt water as he steps closer. He wraps his arms around you, and you bury your face in his chest and try to inhale. Your exhale is a ragged little shudder, and you fist both hands in the back of Spencer’s cardigan as you cling to him, feeling raw and sensitive and so very young. 

He lets out a quiet, shaky sigh of his own, squeezing you tighter. 

How long has it been since anybody hugged you like this? It’s like the contact — the warmth of him — the pressure of his arms around your shoulders — the rise and fall of his chest under your cheek — is lifting some massive weight you never realized you were carrying. All you want in the entire world is to hold him tight, take the comfort while you can, but you know you should pull away. 

He hesitates for a second before releasing you, like maybe he doesn’t want to let go either. 

Then he’s stepping back, hands in his pockets, slightly pink-cheeked as he bounces on the balls of his feet and gives you one of his frog-faced not-quite-smiles. 

“You said something about shitty television?” he asks. “Or maybe we could watch some television that’s not actually shitty?” 

“That sounds perfect.”

Turns out Planet Earth is on, which is the rare overlap in your and Spencer’s tastes, and it’s not until you’re eagerly toeing off your shoes that you realize the bed is the only seating option. 

Spencer sits cross-legged, with his elbows on his knees and his chin propped on his fists, and he stays as close to the edge of the bed as physically possible. You lean back against the headboard and hug your knees to your chest, feeling the need to hunch over, like you could physically protect your heart. 

Then again, it’s much too late for that. You knew your heart was in trouble the moment you met Spencer. 

Today, especially, you already feel vulnerable, like all your carefully-constructed walls cracked open the second you let yourself cry, and now you’re just ripped-open and bare. You need a good night’s sleep and a long, hot shower before you’ll be able to go about your life as a professional, fully-functional, grown-up human again. Right now you’re just kind of a mess.  

“I know there’s the germ thing,” you blurt out, without looking at Spencer. “But —” 

His laugh sounds crackly and nervous, but relieved, like maybe he’d been holding his breath. “Come here.” 

You give him a grateful smile as you scoot closer to each other, and apparently you’d been so worried about your own swollen eyes earlier that you hadn’t noticed the fatigue evident in every drawn, wan line of his face. 

Not that he isn’t still the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. 

You duck tentatively under Spencer’s arm, and it’s not like you’re cuddling, exactly, because there’s still an inch or so of space between your hips and legs… but the bony plane of his chest, between collarbone and heart, makes a surprisingly perfect pillow. You pull the sleeves of your sweater over your hands, tucking them under your chin, curling up.

The moment feels delicate, like a soap bubble that you could burst if you simply breathe too loudly, and you hold yourself stiffly, at first, not wanting to move any closer for fear of pushing a boundary. It feels like you’re glowing at the points where your bodies are touching; the warm weight of his arm feels like bright spring sunshine across your upper back. His palm on the round of your shoulder is thawing away the last chilly bits of your self-consciousness. 

When the commercial break starts, Spencer says, “Do you ever think about how little physical contact the average single adult experiences on a regular basis?” His voice is quiet and almost sheepish. 

You smile. “Yeah, I’ve considered it.” 

“Especially when we live away from our families,” Spencer says wistfully. 

You can feel the vibration of his words in his chest. You shift, making yourself more comfortable, feeling dazed and dumb with his proximity.

“The monkeys. I feel like — you know?” 

“Harlow. I know exactly what you mean.”

Trust him to get that from your ridiculously vague mumbling.  

“Except they’re babies,” you add. 

“The emotional benefits of physical touch don’t decrease just because we get older,” he says softly. “It’s just that the fear of judgement makes it difficult to be honest.”

There’s silence for a minute as the show starts again, and David Attenborough says something about sloths. Spencer’s thumb strokes your shoulder gently, back and forth, soothing. It’s hypnotic, and the tension drains from your muscles, leaving you more relaxed than you’ve felt in a long time. 

“Thank you,” he whispers. 

You swallow hard. “For what?” 

“Being honest.” 

There’s no reason for your eyes to be stinging like this, but they are. “I should be thanking you.”

“Nothing to thank me for. This is… really nice.” 

“Yeah. It really is.” 

He’s quiet again. 

Spencer smells like vanilla and old books — although the latter might just be your imagination, something to do with the power of mental association — Spencer could probably explain the science behind that. Your brain has them inextricably linked, though. You’ve caught hints of that smell before, but never up close like this. 

The softness of the worn knit of his cardigan makes you want to rub your cheek against it like a cat. His arm, skinny as it may be, feels like protection — like you’re safe here. 

After the brutal violence of the case and the emotional turbulence of the day, this quiet, golden moment is even more breathtakingly peaceful by contrast. It doesn’t feel real. 

It’s too good to last. This isn’t yours. It’s not going to last, no matter how right it feels, and your chest already aches with the idea of letting him go.    

You try to appreciate it while you can, to remember every sensation, but your body is leaden, exhausted down to the bone, completely drained of whatever adrenaline-stubbornness-caffeine combination was keeping you running until now. Spencer’s thumb rubs invisible circles on your shoulder, and he breathes evenly, and you feel safe. 

You’re asleep before the next commercial break. 

A distant car alarm wakes you, sometime later. In the handful of seconds before it’s turned off, you come to without opening your eyes, trying to remember where you are and who you’re with. The smell of vanilla makes you relax instinctively, before you can process why. 

Spencer has all but melted against you in his sleep, soft and boneless. He’s got both arms around you now, holding you close, his breath tickling your forehead. Then he stirs, and you can feel the moment he realizes where he is, because his muscles go tense as he freezes. 

“Sorry,” he murmurs hoarsely. He’s barely audible over the infomercial voices coming from the TV. “I didn’t mean to — sorry. I’ll go.” 

And before you can think better of it, you whisper, “Don’t.” 

He’s still frozen, and silent for a second that feels like an eternity. “You mean —”

“I don’t want you to leave. Stay.” 

Honesty seems to be your default setting tonight, and anyway, you can tell without looking at a clock that it’s long past midnight, well into the early-morning hours where boundaries and reservations and reality don’t seem to follow their usual laws. You can’t lie to him (or to yourself) right now. 

Spencer’s voice cracks as he says, “Okay. I’ll just — let me get the light.”

You don’t open your eyes as he slips away. This all seems like a dream, and the sharp bright lamp light might make it dissolve around you. You might wake up. 

The TV goes quiet, and when you tug at the hotel comforter, sliding between cool sheets fully clothed, the barely-there rasp of moving fabric sounds loud in its absence. 

Spencer turns off the lamp, and you open your eyes. You can just see his shape as he navigates the dark room, negative space on a charcoal backdrop, but as your vision adjusts, you can see a faint suggestion of his features in the blue-black. 

You feel it, though, when his weight makes the springs of the old mattress dip. You’d expected him to lie on his back again, but instead his face is just inches from yours when his cheek comes to rest on the pillow. You feel the way he’s breathing, quick and shallow and nervous. You feel your heart kick in your ribs, thudding so loud he must be able to hear it. 

He reaches out slowly, hooking an arm around your ribs, and pauses with just the very tips of his spidery fingers touching your back, between your shoulder blades: five soft points of contact that you feel so intensely they might as well be electrode pads connecting you to a defibrillator. 

This is crossing a line, and you both know it. 

It’s not a sexual touch, it’s not that sort of thrill going through you, but something about this feels profoundly intimate. That intimacy is almost more shocking than lust might’ve been, and it’s much more dangerous. It’s the sort of closeness you don’t walk away from unscathed.  

Spencer’s fingers flutter, butterfly-wing delicate, like one or the other of you might be trembling. 

“Are you sure this is okay?” he whispers. 

“Yes.”  

Maybe you’re both trembling. 

His palm comes to rest on your back, easing you closer, and you shift, settle, readjust. He pulls back and tilts his head just long enough to brush his lips over your temple, soft and sweet, before tucking you neatly under his chin, where you fit like you were meant to be there, with your nose nudging at the gap between his collar and the delicate skin of his throat.

“Sweet dreams,” he whispers, sounding just as awed as you feel. 

“Sweet dreams, Spencer.” 

.

.

.

If you enjoyed this, please reblog or leave a message! 

More Criminal Minds fic is here. 

[navalcriminalimagines]

Better than me

This is my very first Joel Miller x Reader work. And I completely got carried away. I may do a series, if you guys like it? Joel deserves all the love in the world 🥺Please, let me know what you think!

Summary: You live across the street from Joel. Every night, you watch him play the guitar on his porch and one night, you find the courage to go out and talk to him.

Songs: Future days ; Better than me

Warnings: Smut, oral, p in v, creampie, unprotected sex, a bit of roughness

Words count: 5k

Jackson, Wyoming

Just like every night, your neighbor Joel Miller was sitting on his porch, playing his guitar. Just like every night, you stood by your window, listening to whatever he’s playing, tonight he settled on ‘Future days’. You remembered this song from a long time ago. And just like every night, you hoped you’d find the courage to go out and talk to him.

But you never really talked to him. You crossed paths every now and then, barely exchanging two sentences. It’s way much easier to talk with Ellie, the teenager living with him. One day, you were actually talking with Ellie inside the house and when he got home, you found a stupid excuse and disappeared pretty quickly.

You haven’t been able to find the courage to talk to him. Until that night. It was 2am, and you could still hear him play. He was trying to be silent, even though that’s not really possible. You quickly checked yourself in the shitty small mirror of your bathroom and got out of your house. Joel noticed you only when you were standing right in front of him.

“Hey, Y/N. I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” he gently asked.

“Nah, don’t worry. Couldn’t sleep,” you waved off. “Thought I’d enjoy the music from closer,” you were thankfully it was dark outside, so he couldn’t see you profusely blushing.

“Take a seat,” he offered, showing off the chair next to him. “I’m not sure we’ve ever been properly introduced?” he said, after you settled next to him.

“Yeah, me neither,” you smiled. “Y/N Y/L/N, I’m from Nevada, I’ve been in Jackson for a few months and well-- what else can we say?”

He chuckled. “Fair. Joel Miller,” he said, extending his hand to you over his guitar and you shook it. “I’m from Texas. And I play the guitar,”

“Noticed. You actually have been my personal radio for the past months,”

“As long as you enjoy it. Do you play?”

“Unfortunately not. I used to play violin though,” you confessed. “Long time ago,”

“I wish I could find one, just to hear you play,”

That night, most of the conversation turned around music and instruments. You were a teenager when the virus appeared, and you were a music junkie. You didn’t know why but you confessed to Joel that your dream was to be a rockstar and tour all around the world with a band. He told you about his favorite artists back then, and how he started to play the guitar. He confessed about writing songs when the inspiration hits. Which hasn’t for a while.

The next day, you happily joined him again. This time, you talked less about music and more about yourselves. Joel told you about Ellie, how he met her and how that teenager made her way to his heart. For a moment, he considered telling you about Sarah, but what would be the point? You don’t know each other enough, and he didn’t want to look like the man stuck twenty years prior. Even if you all are, somehow. You told him about your family, that you lost a while ago and how you ended up here in Jackson.

For weeks, meeting Joel on his porch became a thing. You were there almost every night, even when there were some sorts of events in town. You enjoyed his company way more than you should and so did he. But neither of you would say so. Some nights, he didn’t even pick up his guitar, it was just you and him, right there, talking. Falling.

One night, Joel’s heart rushed into his chest as he saw you walking with a limp, up to your house. He put his guitar down and jogged to you, right before you slammed your front door. “Y/N, are you okay?” he asked, clearly worried.

“Huh, yeah, yeah. My knee didn’t appreciate today’s patrol,” you told him, motioning him to join inside your house.

“Were you attacked or something?” he asked, watching you collapsing on your couch.

“No, no, nothing like that. I’m just a klutz,” you tiredly giggled. Joel wanted to laugh too but he was still very worried. He grabbed a pillow and gently lifted your leg to put it under.

“I’ll be right back in ten minutes, okay?”

You didn’t have time to overthink. Joel left your house in a rush and true to his words, he came back ten minutes later with something in his hand. You hadn’t moved a bit, and you watched him approaching. What he had in his hands was ice. “Do you mind if I bounce back your pants?” he asked and you nodded.

Ever so gently, Joel freed your injured knee and put the ice on it. You hissed at the cold and thanked him anyway. “I’m gonna let you rest,”

You didn’t want him to leave. Not just yet. “You know, the pain will probably keep me awake for a while. I wouldn’t mind a private concert by my favorite guitarist,”

Joel chuckled at that, trying to avoid how it made his heart melt. “Fine. I’ll be right back,”

That night, Joel played ‘Future days’ over and over after you asked him to. He kept playing and singing until you fell asleep next to him.

It took a few weeks for your knee to heal, during which Joel had been nothing but an angel. He was over your house every day, checking on your knee to make sure it was properly healing. He made sure you have enough ice and he brought your meals to prevent you from going to the self. Even while being on a patrol, he found a way to have your meals being brought to you.

“Must be nice to be Joel Miller’s favorite,” Jesse joked as you opened the door. He was holding your dinner in one hand and some ice in the other. “God I wish someone would home delivered for me,”

You let your friend in, and settled back on your couch with your leg up. “I can injure your knee for you,” you offered with a grin.

“Wouldn’t work. I’m not cute enough to get Joel’s attention,”

“Shut up!”

Jesse sat next to you. “His guitar’s here. Is he living here? Oh my god, are you guys dating?”

“No! We’re just friends,” you explained. “We just share the same love of music. So, yes, he does come here and plays,”

“Wow, you really think I’m gonna buy this?” Jesse raised an eyebrow at you.

“Jesse, I swear. Nothing is happening between me and Joel,”

“But you wished,”

“Just leave already.” you retorted.

“Y/N, be careful, okay? The man is broken,”

“Yeah, so?”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt,”

“Right. Cause you surely stopped loving Dina when you found that she was a lesbian!”

“I’m just saying, Y/N.”

“Thanks for the home delivery,” you don’t want a cold to stand between you and Jesse, “If I had money, I’d tip you,” you smiled at him.

“You know, you could pay me in nature,”

While that sentence made you laugh, Joel didn’t have the same reaction. He was standing right behind Jesse, his arms crossed over his chest. Your friend didn’t see him at first, still waiting for you to say something, “Hi, Joel,” you said, embarrassed.

Jesse didn’t turn around immediately. He knew Joel would kill him if he could. “I’m just gonna go and avoid your eyes, Joel,” he said, leaving the house in a rush, his face buried deep in his shoulders.

“Good call,” Joel muttered.

“It was just a joke,” you said as soon as you heard the door closing.

“I wouldn’t be sure about that, Y/N. He was just waiting for you to say yes,” Joel was still standing with his arms crossed.

“So, what if I agreed?” you teased him, hoping it would make things move forward a little. But it didn’t.

“Do you want me to call him back? He isn’t far, yet,”

“Just come here and give me my hug, would you?”

Joel’s anger - and obvious jealousy - evaporated as soon as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He isn’t much of a hugger, but you are and you managed to make him addicted to your hugs. He loves being intoxicated by your scent, he loves how you hold him tight, he loves how your fingers always find their way to the small hair in the back of his head. And you love how he buries his head in your back, how his strong arms wrap you so perfectly, how his hands sometimes grab your clothes in a fist.

A few weeks later

Your knee was completely healed and you were back on patrols. Things were moving in Jackson and you and Joel spent less late nights together. You were missing him and he was missing you.

One night, a ball was being held. Everyone here needed that every now and then to cheer up and have some good time. Jesse, Dina and Ellie convinced you to come. You did and as predicted, you spent the entire night waiting for Joel to appear, but he never did.

You were walking back to your house around 3 in the morning. As you approached your street, you could hear the music. Instead of going home, you stopped in front of Joel’s porch. “You said you’d come,” you told him.

“I know, I shouldn’t have. Those aren’t my thing,” he apologized. “Are you mad?”

“No,” you said, lying just a little and sitting next to him. “Just disappointed. It was really nice,”

“No doubt. I’m sorry,”

“I’ll accept your apology with you show me how to play,”

Joel chuckled and handed you his guitar. Then, he moved his chair closer to yours. His chest was literally against your back, his face a few inches from yours. You tried to focus on the instrument, but he made it really hard as his hand covered yours in order to show you where to put your fingers. He started with the easiest chord, E.

As you played violin, it wasn’t completely new to you. But you’d have played dumb if needed, as long as he stayed right where he was. When E sounded good, Joel turned his face to the side to look at you. You were already staring. His lips were so close to yours, you could feel his hot breath on your skin. His eyes went from your eyes to your lips, from your lips to your eyes.

It was now or never. You took your shot and crashed your lips on his. Thankfully, he eagerly responded to your kiss. One of his hands moved to your neck, his beard was gently tickling your skin and he parted his lips, letting his tongue out. You happily welcomed his tongue into your mouth and moaned. The kiss was passionate and intense, Joel couldn’t get you close enough to his liking.

But eventually, he broke it off. You whined, and when you opened your eyes again, you couldn’t see it caused him physical pain to break the kiss. “Don’t you want—“ you start to say.

“I do,” he cut you off. “God, how I do,” his nose was brushing against yours, his hand still in your neck.

“Then why aren’t lips on mine anymore?” You gently nipped his bottom lip and that made him chuckle.

“Are you sure, Y/N?” He had to ask.

“Fuck, Joel. I’ve been simping over you for ages,”

“Simping?”

“Right, sorry I forgot how old you are,” you rolled your eyes.

“I’m gonna show you how old I am, babygirl,” he groaned.

In a flash, Joel grabbed his guitar and your wrist. You’re actually not sure which one he was holding the softest. He put the guitar in the living room and took you to his bedroom. As soon as he kicked the door shut, he spinned you around, holding you against the door and his lips crashed on yours, roughly.

He didn’t kiss you long enough, though. He quickly drifted south, and assaulted your neck. You moaned in his hair, and you could feel the obvious bulge in his jeans against your thighs. His hands traveled under your top and you tried to palm his erection, but he immediately stopped you.

Joel grabbed your wrists into his hand and pinned them above your head. He just stared for a moment. Stared at your swollen lips, at the marks he already made in your neck and in your eyes. You were looking at him with both killing desire and love. It confused him for a brief second but he shut his brain and kissed you again.

You were desperate to touch him, undress him, feel him. But he was strongly holding your hands, all you could was grinding your center against his thigh. “So needy,” he whispered in your ear before nipping the lobe. You swallowed thickly and let out a loud moan.

“Yes, I need you Joel. Please,” you begged him. When was the last time someone beg for him?

“It’s been such a long time, I probably won’t last,” he breathed out, shamefully.

“We have a lifetime ahead of us, who cares,”

That sentence didn’t have the impact you were shooting for. In a second, you were completely free from Joel’s grip as he took a big step back. He was panting. “That’s not—“ he whispered, trying to put his thoughts into words.

“Aw baby, did you already come?” you teased him.

“That was a close call, but that’s not my point, Y/N,” you could see he was getting angry. But why? At who?

You took a step forward, your hands tenderly cupping his bearded cheeks. “Then what is your point?” you asked, genuinely concerned.

“This—is a bad idea,” Joel struggled. He leaned into your touch but frowned as he knew he couldn’t enjoy it too much. “You—you should leave,” he wrapped his hands around your wrists, forcing you to let go of his face.

“Not until you give me one good reason, Joel.” Now, you were getting angry. Hurt. Frustrated. All of that.

“You deserve better—“ he whispered. “Better than me,”

“That’s not a good—“

“That’s good enough for me. Please, Y/N.” He begged you, pain clearly written all over his face.

“You’re making a big mistake, you know that?” Joel heard your voice cracking and you had barely finished your sentence, that his thumb was softly brushing your lips.

“That’s my jam,” he sadly tried to joke.

You have no idea what happened in his mind in a brief period of time but for whatever reason, Joel wanted you to leave. He had changed his mind and you’re not the kind of person to force people. If he doesn’t want you like this, if he doesn’t want you around him, you’ll let him be.

You left his house. Leaving you both broken-hearted.

A year later

Avoiding someone in Jackson isn’t an easy task, but somehow, Joel managed to do it pretty well. He always disappeared when you showed up, no matter where it was. He managed to never stare at you from afar when you were definitely staring. The only moment you could’ve walked to him and asked for explanations was at night, as he kept playing the guitar and all of those songs you kept talking about. But he asked you to leave and never apologized. Why would you be the one to make the first move?

As Joel checked his next patrol, he noticed he’s set on a patrol with you the very next day. Completely pissed off, he bursted into Tommy’s office and slammed the door behind. He planted his fists on the desk and stared at his younger brother. “Why the hell am I teaming with Y/N for tomorrow’s patrol?” he barked.

“What’s wrong with her?” Tommy asked, genuinely curious as to why Joel was that mad.

“Nothing,” he said, raising his hands defensively. “I just don’t want to team up with her,”

“I’ll consider making some changes, if you give me a good reason,” Tommy stood up and got closer to Joel.

“I--I almost had sex with her,”

“Almost? Couldn’t get through with it, brother?” Tommy teased him.

Before answering, Joel threw himself on the worn out couch and Tommy sat on the armbar, waiting for explanations. “We were--at it. But I had to stop,” Joel admitted, growling at himself.

“Couldn’t get it up?”

“Tommy, fuck off,”

“I honestly don’t understand how in the world you couldn’t have sex with one of the most beautiful women in Jackson,”

“Cause-- she deserves better than this. Better than me,”

“Bullshit!” Tommy shouted.

“Listen, I’m an old grumpy and lonely guy--” Joel trailed off.

“Cut the crap, bro. I’ve always wondered what her deal was, since she’s turning down all the guys around, but now it makes sense. She clearly wants you,”

“She shouldn’t,”

“Don’t you think that’s on her to decide? So, please, get the hell out of my office, go on that patrol with her tomorrow and take things back where you left them,”

“You’re the worst brother ever,” Joel rolled his eyes.

“I know. I want my brother to get laid, how horrible of me,” Tommy sarcastically answered, before giving his brother a tap in his back.

The next day came way too fast for Joel.

He was late and people were pressing you to do the patrol. You took the two horses with you and walked up to his house. You knocked and let yourself in immediately, “Joel, you’re late,” you called out for him, “I know you don’t want to spend the day with me but we don’t have a choice,” you spoke loudly, not knowing where he was. As you walked to the kitchen, you saw Ellie packing her bag. “Oh, hey El!” you greeted her, hoping you weren’t blushing.

She smiled at you. “Joel’s in the bathroom. He should be down in a minute,” she told you before walking out. “He brought some coffee. Help yourself,”

“Oh, nice!”

Upstairs, Joel couldn’t decide what to wear. Why did it matter anyway? Why did he want to look...good for you? He didn’t have much clothes and all of them were used and dirty. But he settled for his green shirt, as he remembered you telling him it looked good on him. He checked his hair and beard one more time, he even checked his breath before cursing to himself. And he joined you downstairs.

You poured yourself a cup of coffee in Joel’s used mug and started to look around, waiting for him. You hadn’t been there in a year, you hadn’t even approached the porch. You missed this, you missed Joel.

A paper on the coffee table grabbed your attention. You took it in your hand and started to read what was on it, but you heard Joel’s footsteps coming down. You only had a glimpse of it

“The bed I'm lying in is getting colder

Wish I never would've said it's over

And I can't pretend

I won't think about you when I'm older

'Cause we never really had our closure

This can't be the end

I really miss your hair in my face

And the way your innocence tastes

And I think you should know this

You deserve much better than me”

You recognized Joel’s handwriting. This really sounded like a song, but no time to analyze it, as he took the paper from your hand and folded it in his back pocket. “Is that a song?” You asked.

“Really don’t want to talk about it. Let’s go,”

“Haven’t finished my coff—“ you didn’t have time to finish either your sentence or your coffee. Joel grabbed the mug from your hand and drank the rest of the brown liquor.

“There. Finished.”

“Wow, it’s gonna be a long day,” you mumbled in your teeth as you were walking out.

“What?” Joel asked from behind.

“It’s gonna be a wonderful day!” You sarcastically exclaimed.

It was indeed a long day. You and Joel barely talked, only exchanging about your ride of the day. You tried your best not to look much at him, but it was hard as he was looking this good with his green shirt. The worst was when he rolled up his sleeves, showing off his strong and veiny forearms.

On the other hand, Joel spent the entire day looking at you. Most of the time, you were riding the horse in front of him. He had a perfect view on your ass and he loved how it bounced. You were wearing an old tank top, letting him see your tattoo on your shoulder. He wanted to press his lips against your skin again. He missed you like hell.

“Are you mad at me, Y/N?” he asked, while the two of you had gone down from the horses. You turned around to face him.

“Mad?” you sounded angry but somehow, your body language and the sadness on your face said otherwise. “No, I’m just--lost. I still don’t understand, Joel.” you shrugged. There was something in your expression, on your face, that broke his heart all over again.

“I told you.” he just answered.

“Well okay, let’s say that it doesn’t make sense to me,” you corrected yourself, “We spent so much time together, and every second was amazing. Then we kissed and--you took me inside your house, you pinned me against your door, I thought it was going really well and all of the sudden, you backed off. And--and you spent the past year avoiding me, but somehow, you still play your fucking guitar on your porch, knowing that I can hear you. Hell, you spend a serious amount of time playing ‘Future days’— and what you wrote—”

You hadn’t realized you were rambling until his lips crashed into yours. Rough but tender at the same time, his beard tickled your nose. He was holding your face in his hands, making you as close as possible to him. It stayed a chaste kiss until he pulled back. “And now you’re kissing me again,” you said, a bit shaken in a beautiful way.

“I just wanted you to shut up,” he smirked.

“Please, make some sense, Joel,” you pleaded him. “Because I really don’t understand and it prevents me from moving on,” you paused, “Not that I actually want to move on,”

“You never shut up, do you?”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t stop kissing me,”

Back at your house

This past year was long forgotten when you and Joel reached your house. You locked your door behind and basically ran to your bedroom, taking him with you. You were so fast, Joel almost tripped in the stairs. Once in your bedroom, you threw him on your bed and straddled him. You were not going to let him escape this time.

You crashed your lips on his, and you kissed him feverishly. You never unbuttoned a shirt this fast in your life. Joel’s hands got under your tank top and quickly got rid of it, along with your bra. Joel cupped one of your breasts in his hand and brought his mouth to the other. He played with your nipples for a moment, while you freed him from his jeans and boxers. You stroked him a few times, feeling some precum on your fingers. Joel let out the biggest moan he ever had. It’s been so long. So fucking long, he couldn’t stand the foreplay, “I need to be inside you, sweetheart. Like, right now,” he growled.

You got off his lap just to take your pants and panties off. Joel’s eyes darken at the sight of your naked body. He could’ve come just from the sight.

You pushed his shoulders so he was completely laying on the bed. Joel felt your wetness when you started to grind your center against his hard cock. It was killing him.

“Just for my peace of mind,” he managed to say, “You’re not a virgin, are you?” he asked, his hands resting on your hips.

“Would it change something if I was?” you answered, pressing your body against his.

“Yes. I wouldn’t want to hurt you. I would take my time with you,” he gently said, planting soft kisses around your mouth.

“I’m not a virgin. It’s been a while though, does hymen grow back?”

Joel laughed at that, but his laugh quickly turned into a deep growl as you made him penetrate you. You slided onto him so slowly, it took everything in his power not to shove his length as deep as he could. You felt his fingers digging so hard on your hips, you’ll probably wake up with bruises in the morning. It’s been such a long time, it almost felt like it was indeed your first time.

As he bottomed out, Joel kissed you roughly. He’s not going to last. This is too much. “Fuck, Y/N! You’re so tight,” he groaned in your ear, holding your hair in his fist.

You pulled out slowly and got him to bottom out again. You rode him with this killer pace, until he couldn’t take it anymore. He made you roll over and pinned you down onto the mattress. Again, his fingers dug into your skin, and his lips crashed on yours in a rough and sloppy kiss. Joel quickened the pace, fucking you relentlessly. He could hear you cry his name and it quickly became a blur to him. It was so much for him, he completely forgot about your pleasure and after a few quick and hard thrusts, Joel came deep inside your pussy, crying your name out loud.

This was too quick, you didn’t have time to cum too. But you didn’t mind, you knew he was going to get even. Plus, seeing him falling apart on top of you like that was the most sexy and erotic and amazing thing you ever witnessed. That image only could get you soaking wet. Pretty much like you were at this moment.

“Fuck, sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” he said, collapsing on you.

“It’s okay,” you reassured him, stroking his hair and kissing his temple. He was sweaty as hell, but you loved the taste of him on your lips.

“God,” he panicked, “I came inside you,” he looked at you with wide eyes, realizing the risk it was. He should have never come inside you. This is way too risky. There are no birth controls and no condoms. He can’t do that again. The panic washed him over, but you stayed pretty calmed under him. “Why are you not freaking out? Yelling at me?”

“Is there anything we can do about it?” you asked, steady.

“Well--” he trailed off. Obviously, there’s nothing you can do about it. He came, it’s too late.

“I’ll be careful next time, I promise.” he apologized and kissed you.

Once the panic disappeared, Joel remembered that you didn’t come. He got carried away by his own pleasure, he completely forgot about yours. “Don’t move,” he ordered you and made a trail of wet kisses down to your core. You moaned when his lips reached your clit and he smirked. He licked and sucked on your clit for a moment, one of his arms around your waist to keep you still. When he felt your hand running through his hair, and your nails digging on his scalp, he moaned himself. “Fuck, you’re tasting yourself,” you breathed out.

“I couldn’t care less.” he muttered.

As he kept eating like a starving man, Joel surprised you with a thick finger entering your core. “Jesus, Joel! Yes!” you cried and he didn’t waste time adding another finger. His fingers were curling inside you, hitting exactly where they were supposed and he remained sucking hard on your clit. “Just like that, yes! Fuck!” he felt your body shaking under him and his free hand immediately rushed to your breasts, pinching your nipples between his thumb and index. He didn’t stop, not even slowed down until you came hard on his face, crying his name so loud, all Jackson probably heard you.

As you were catching your breath, Joel got back on top of you and wrapped an arm around your neck. He held you so tight, you almost couldn't breathe but you loved every second of it. You were surprised by his length teasing your oversensitive entrance, “I’ve never recovered this fast in my life.” he growled in your ear. “Can I?” he asked for your consent, gently kissing your temple.

“Yes please! Give it to me, baby. Fuck me!”

That was all he needed. He didn’t need his hand to slide inside of you again. In one thrust, he bottomed out and cursed. “You were made for me,” he said, huskily, before kissing you, all teeth and tongue.

As he thrusted hard and deep inside your pussy, you grabbed his ass and squeezed. He chuckled against your mouth and quickened his pace. He fucked you relentlessly again but this time, he took his time. There was less urge, he was thinking about your pleasure too.

He finally let go of your neck, and got on his knees, lifting your hips a little. Your ass was resting on his thighs as he kept thrusting. That angle drove both of you crazy. While one of his hands was holding your hips hard, he furiously rubbed your clit with the other. He could feel you're losing it. “I’m gonna cum, baby,” you told him. “Fuck, you feel so good!” you cried his name again, coming and creaming on his cock.

“God, I’ll never get used to that sight,” Seeing you losing it under his touch sent him over the edge. He managed to withdraw just in time to come on your stomach, he didn’t even have to give himself a few final strokes.

He collapsed on top of you again, not caring about the sticky mess between your bodies. “You’ll be the death of me, Y/N,” he said and you chuckled.

“I love you, Joel. There’s no better than you,”

[everythingthemoontouches]

💙Hi there! , First of all i want to tell you that i love your blog! And i love how your posts are so accurate!💙 If its okay with you could you please do me a favor by describing how others see me,my appearance or more specifically the vibe I radiate to others! It would mean alot to me if you you do that💙I'm a cancer sun,leo rising,Lilith sextile asc, Pluto trine asc, Uranus opposition asc, Moon opposition asc, mars sextile venus, mars opposition neptune, asteroid lilith conjunct mc and jupiter in the 1st house!💙

Hola!

Thank you that's really kind of you 💛💕

You know that quote that says Cinderella never asked for a prince. All she wanted was a night out and a dress. You kind of exude a similar vibe but with respect to leadership positions. 'I never asked to be Queen/King, but the people have spoken' kind of an energy. You would be equally happy to be by yourself, learning about the subconscious mind, higher realms and other esoteric science.

For more on Jupiter in LEO I'd recommend watching Astrofinesse.

For jupiter in the first there's KRS.

🌻As a Leo rising you come across as someone outgoing, with a playful energy but you're also somehow someone people would expect to see in a position of authority. You're drawn to people who stimulate you intellectually and love to exchange ideas.

😬If you have an Aquarius saturn you could be having some challenges in your relationships since December 2020 as saturn transits your 7th house. I'd suggest practicing discernment in this area as well as signing contracts with people until it passes( early 2023) ..

😇12th house sun could take on other people's energy. I feel like you need some time away, by yourself, preferably at the beach / pool/ shower to declutter, clear your head and replenish your sense of Self. You could be highly intuitive. If this resonates, I'd urge you to look up empath drain and how to protect yourself from energy vampires.

Ruler of the ascendant in the 12th :

spirituality could be a huge part of your life. For some people this could show a father (figure) who was convicted or worked in a prison / asylum. They could also have a really remote job. Since the sun is also your own personal identity, you could profit off these themes. Working in a mental health facility, overseas, in esoteric crafts.

🌛With your moon in the 7th house, you probably attract a lot of older women, (queen of swords) nurturing energies . Your mom could have a major influence on any business partnerships that you enter.

In relationships you could have a here today gone tomorrow kind of a presence. This is because as the moon waxes and wanes so does your attraction / attachment to specific people?

♒Aquarius moon : it could be really hard for you to express your feelings. So Instead of asking for a hug there could be a tendency to say something like ' ew imagine asking for one?' you leave a place better than you found it. If you watch hindi movies, 3 Idiots could be a movie you really resonate with. ( I pretty much spent the day looking up the lead actor, who has major aquarius placements and his films have always been disruptive with a really nice social message that left people talking for years after they were released. I tell you this because he shares 2 of your big 3 - aquarius and cancer.)

Going off on this tangent you could be a well respected teacher / writer / entertainer. Jupiter in LEO could help with this.

I do feel like you need a certain amount of inventiveness in your relationships. The people you're with are people who introduce you to new hobbies / ideas / technologies. You need to feel like you guys learn something new or create something that matters together. This is enhanced by uranus in the 7th house. You could come across really cold because you always give people the naked honest truth when asked. You do this from a place of love. I'm reminded of the Queen of Swords card in the rider Waite tarot. Not everyone has the maturity to take it. Or maybe they've just had a bad day. It is what it is. Perhaps try to not be so incisive if this is something you struggle with.

In the same vein, if I asked you to write down how you were feeling how long would it take for you to identify the right emotion. How honest are you with yourself?

Moon and Uranus being in the same house could show that stagnation could really hurt your mental health / happiness / satisfaction levels.

With a saturn ruled moon I feel like I need to remind you to not be so hard on yourself. Like. The world won't crumble to dust if you allow yourself to take care of you once in a while.there's only so much you can do.

All those coffee mugs will catch up. There's no such thing as extra hours in the day. A lack of sleep manifests as early signs of aging. No hate for the elderly but arthritis is not a fun ailment to have. Do you wanna be 60 with 80 year old nervous system problems? I rest my case.

Uranus and moon aspect your ascendant so you could have a slightly plump look?

Jupiter in the first house people usually have prominent thighs. I had a friend with this placement and when we were growing up she used to complain of chafed thighs a lot?

Mars sextile venus you could be your own type? The way you act and the way you want your future partners to express love could be quite similar which is good for healthy relationships.

There could be a tendency to spend impulsively.

With Mars sextiling venus you could be someone who earns more the more active their lifestyle is? Like, you may need to be an agile learner to keep money flowing in .

Jupiter in LEO in a woman's chart usually shows they'd have a financially well off spouse so money may not be a huge concern. He could be a sailor or earn via exports/ navy. It's hard to say without knowing where your Saturn is.

The image you project to the world could be a lot more outgoing than how you actually feel. You're more private than people think.

With a fire rising, water sun and air moon you could either be a really balanced person or just have a number of clashing ideas on who to be, what to do and achieve.

Descendant : The people that hate on you could attack your need to stand out /try to dim your time in the spotlight. Think aquarius themes of standing out to improve community clashing with Leo's need to stand out solely because it helps their ego. Like your confidence could trigger the part if them that felt judged negatively for expressing their individuality.

Do you feel like you thrive in chaos? I'm guessing you're atleast in your late 20s if not older, so you might have gotten better at dealing with people acting unexpectedly. Your mom could have been unpredictable. Really intelligent, but forgets to eat ..

🥤🦀As a cancer sun, you could be the friend your friends come to for advice. There could be a tendency to be a little too selfless. I think your aqua moon really serves as a shield to those who try to take advantage of your caring nature. Have you considered a career in psychic medium ship? Or any spiritual art/ past life regression / you get the drift..

Is there a family craft or hobby that you could monetize? Jupiter in LEO could signify ancestral gains.

Lilith and Pluto aspects to ascendant can make you come across really sexy / a bit unapproachable because people feel like you have some kind of power that places you above them?

Due to this, people with Pluto / Lilith aspects can feel some kind of hurt around people clearing up the path around them if that makes sense.

Jupiter opposite moon : there could be a clash between you want to do VS what you feel you should be doing.

Jupiter in the first house : you could have been born rich? Or people just perceive you that way. They also see you as someone wordly wise and lucky in general. You could know a lot about a wide variety of things. Specially on topics related to appearance, personal development, image consciousness etc. Since the ruler of the first is in the 12th I feel like some of your wisdom comes from a divine source. Like you're tapping into some kind of a collective reservoir of knowledge. In starseed terminology we would refer to this as downloads.

Jupiter rules the 8th house and 5th house.

So love, romance, games, early education may have been a bit of a breeze for you.

Jupiter is usually a bit of a celibate spiritual person. So, while it may make you really wise with respect to things like the occult / tarot / other 8th house themes, I'm not sure how it would impact your sex life with a spouse. Sex could be either a deeply spiritual experience for you or take on more neptunian traits. Addiction / alcoholism / drug use the works. Jupiter expands the themes of the house it rules so a word of caution there.

Travelling could bring you luck. Or even love.

Did I hear Mars opposite Neptune?

This could be a literal battlefield. You could feel like you need to work for love.if Neptune is unconditional love and Mars is your drive, then you could literally match to get to taht elusive unconditional sense of belonging /love / acceptance. But what are you marching towards really? A mirage? With this aspect I'd really be on the guard against addiction of any kind. Neptune is enticing, alluring, mocking Mars for its need to conquer. It could lend a really nice swagger to your walk. A runway model could benefit from thus placement. At uts best this aspect imbues you with creativity, inspiration, otherworldly imagination and the energy required to turn your abstract ideas of art into something tangible.

Here's a source for more on this placement. Sometimes I find that the comments really help me make sense of my own placements

Toodles

Before I sign off, I just have to say this :please try to restrict asks to 2-3 placements. You can send in multiple asks if you'd like, but answering them all in one ask can get a bit cluttered and I'd hate to miss out on something 😊

Hope this helped 💕as always, I'd really appreciate your feedback on this take on how these placements affect you.

[gremlin-writes-angst]

Touch-starved

Levi Ackerman x GN!reader

This is pretty self-indulgent, Its a Levi x touch-starved reader. Modern AU. Hurt to comfort.

1.8k words

Trigger warning: None, there are no spoilers

Let me know if I missed a trigger or if you spot any spelling mistakes.

Feedback is encouraged  

Click here if you want to see more of my work and follow me for more!

Before you started dating Levi, everyone you knew, including himself warned you. They told you that a relationship with him wouldn't be normal, that it wouldn't fulfill your relationship needs. But you loved him and even though he wasn’t very affectionate you knew that he loved you too. Thought that wasn't clear right now. Currently, you were at the wedding of one of your friends, it was nice, too nice. It made you realize how much different your and Levi's relationships were. The biggest difference was how many other people in relationships touch each other. Before you met Levi you thought you could never be in a relationship without touching, but then you fell for him and learned that he was uncomfortable with touch. Which you respected, but sometimes you wished that you could have a reassuring handhold or a thank you kiss on the cheek, it didn't have to be PDA, just in private. Though you don't want to break your boyfriend’s boundaries. Your feelings only worsen every time someone starts hitting their glasses with silverware, trying to get the new couple to kiss, which they did, it made you jealous. Using this jealousy as the fuel you move your hand from the cup you were holding to Levi’s leg, reassuringly. Though it was quickly shoved off and hanging by the side of your body, you didn't have the motivation to move it. You repeat to yourself that he loves you, you try and remember the sweet moments in your relationship but none are coming up. You never ignited to yourself but you were touch starved, even before meeting Levi. You don't know how long you sat there, your body limp, your brain is overthinking. Half of your brain is trying to convince you that he does love you, while the other half was telling you that you deserved more from him. You were broken from your limp body and crazy thoughts from the clinking of glass and silverware and then cheering after the couple’s kiss. You watched as they kiss and hold on to another’s hand while sitting down, it hurt, you felt hatred inside you. You abruptly stood up and walked toward the doors, you couldn't leave, but you could at least get some fresh air. That was your plan anyway, but as soon as you got outside and out of sight of everyone, you broke down,  it just so much. You had the boyfriend but you didn't have the kisses, hand-holding, cuddles that you thought were a part of a relationship. For god’s sake, your love language was physical touch you should have known that a relationship with Levi would fail. 

"What's wrong brat?"

Levi turned the corner, and though his words were rude his voice was softer than normal. You breathed in trying to calm and hide your breakdown but Levi was pretty good at seeing through you. He ruffled your hair, that’s right he does give physical affection but pat or ruffling off your hair was the most, and he did that to everyone, it wasn’t the special relationship touches you wanted, you weren’t special. Your boyfriend slid down to the ground with you

“Why are you out here, sitting on the dirty ground?” 

As much as you hated the absence of physical touch in your relationship, you couldn’t tell him that, he had his boundaries and you’re supposed to respect that, so you held off on telling him.

“I don’t know I just wanted some air.”

You lied, and he saw through it.

“Why did you want fresh air?”

You were really tiring to hold back your thoughts and opinions of his boundaries but it had been building up for the past six months, and so it all came spilling out.

“Because I feel unloved. I mean I know you love me but you never physically express it. I feel like your repulsed by the idea of me and my body, I can’t even hold your hand. You just shove me away, and I just feel disgusting a guilty for even trying because I know you have boundaries and that I was warned that this would happen but I thought that I could handle it, but I can’t. I’m touch starved and the one person I feel comfortable enough to help me, to cuddle me, to love me, doesn’t want to, or they cant. And it makes me feel so guilty for feeling that way, and that just adds to the terrible feeling inside. I don’t think I can deal with it anymore, I thought that my love for you would fill that hole, the one missing physical touch, but the love just made it worse because I love you too much to break your boundaries. And-and, I think it would be better for my heart if we stopped. If if we we stopped our relationship.”

You were so emotional that you were stuttering some words, the tears that you stopped when Levi showed up had come back even worse. Sometime during your speech you stood up, Levi stayed on the ground leaning against the building, and at the end of your declaration, you speed-walked into the building and the restroom. You whipped your tears as well as you could. Walking out of the restroom you headed to the bar, you didn’t know what you were gonna order, you just knew you were going to need it. You reached the bar and tried to stutter out an order but you couldn’t name a drink and the bartender moved onto someone else. Dissociated you walked back to your seat, and once again the sound that backend the couple to kiss was being made. You sat in your chair dissociating for a while, the only thing you processed was the sound of silverware tapping glass that happened every so often, and that the chair next to you was still empty. He probably took the offer to leave you and this relationship, and even though you encouraged it, you still weren’t ready for it. You rested your elbows on the table and then your head in your hands. You started to cry again for so many reasons, realizing that you lost the few head pats and hair ruffling he would give you, realizing that you would probably be more touch starved now. Suddenly there was a weight on your back, and arms wrapped around your neck loosely like a hug. You didn’t have the energy to shove off whoever was responsible so you tried your best with words, feeling more anger than sadness all of the sudden.

“Whoever is touching me, stop.” 

The arms and weight stayed, and that small bit of anger changed back to sadness

“Just please, I can’t right now, please sto-”

Before you could finish your plea the person behind you spoke up

“It’s me”

Levi, his voice was softer than you ever heard, and you weren’t sure if you could believe it, both because of the voice and the hug he was giving you.

“Why?”

“I don’t want to lose you, can we talk outside?”

You nodded your head, then you felt him remove himself from you, you stood up and to your surprise, he grabbed your hand, you couldn’t tell if he was holding you in a possessive way, a caring way, or a loving way. What you did know was that it was tight and desperate. When you reached outside, your hand was still in his, his other hand was trapping you between him and the wall.

“I think you miss understand my boundaries, along with how much you matter to me.”

You still weren’t sure if he was just finalizing the break-up or trying to stop it from happening, you stayed silent to find out.

“I don’t like being touched, I don’t have a reason it just how I’ve been for a while, but I’m okay with touching others, it gives me control, the ability to stop if I’m uncomfortable without having to ask, if you want more physical contact I don’t mind giving you what you need, just let me be in control.”

It made some senses, but you wondered why he hadn’t been affectionate with you before if that was the case, so you question him

“Why haven’t you then, why haven’t you touched me, or held my hand.”

“ I wasn’t ready, and when I was I was, honestly scared.”

“Why?”

“As I said, I don’t know, I never really understand my emotions or where they come from. But I’m not scared now, I want to make you happy, I don’t want to be selfish anymore.”

You let out a breath that you were holding, finally allowing yourself to relax.

“ I don’t think you were selfish, and I’m sorry that I pushed you this far, and I don’t want to break up, I just wanted the pain to stop.”

Levi removed his hand from the wall and moved it behind your back pulling you into him.

“I am selfish but you need to stand up for yourself more, brat.” 

It was relieving to hear him call you that, it was like his way of saying that he loved you, that he would stay with you. It was his way of saying that he would be with you even if it was hard and that all you needed. 

A few weeks later and you can’t even remember what being touched starved felt like. You didn’t expect Levi to be so clingy, he’s almost always touching you.  At night he’s your big spoon, when he’s working he makes you sit on his lap, in public he either holds your hand or wraps his arm around your back or shoulder. There have been multiple occasions where he’ll whine, or as close as he can get to whining, for you to sit on his lap while he works

“Come here.”

“Baby I’m just as busy as you.”

“And, I said to come here, we can share the desk if you need to, just come here.”

You walk into his office just bringing him a cup of tea, but he pulls you into his lap before you can leave or protest.

“Thank you for the tea.”

“Are you going to let me go?”

“Of course not, you should know that by now.”

“Your right, I love you”

“ I love you too brat”

Of course, there are moments when you feel the need for his comforting touch but he feels uncomfortable, so you two compromised. Whenever this happens, he’ll allow you to play with the buttons on his shirt cuff, or put your hand in his jacket pocket. He feels guilty that he cant always give you the support you want, but you make sure to ensure him that he’s been doing more than enough.

[nanamixxkento]

“never letting you out of my sight” (Nanami x Female Reader)

Rating: T

Content Warning: Referenced past sexual harrasment from an authority figure

Word Count: 2,002 words

A/N: this is my first time writing for the JJK fandom! Please be nice ✨

You had gone with Nanami to the mall to grab a bite before heading for Jujutsu High to meet Gojo and Itadori.

Nanami was not in charge of you, and you’d long since graduated Jujutsu High. He tended to act more like a friendly guide and yet, unbidden, the ‘sensei’ honorific would slip out despite your intentions sometimes.

Like now.

Nanami didn’t look offended, he rarely did. He simply regarded you out of the corner of his eyes, body lax. “I have to wonder, do I really look like a teacher figure all that much? I didn’t think so before you and Yuji.”

And you’d almost stammered with embarrassment as you apologised.

“I sure do hope it’s not a bossy attitude on my part,” Nanami mused, sending you into another round of hasty but heartfelt apologies.

“Relax, y/n, I’m just messing with you,” he cracked a small smile. “I think it’s cute.”

Cute. The word thundered in your ears for a moment as your stomach swarmed with butterflies. You mused that it would be wholly inappropriate to respond with ‘I think you’re cute’ and refrained from making that comment.

Instead, you said: “Please don’t tease me, Nanami-san.”

“Ah,” he said lightly, with an airy chuckle. “I’m starting to think I prefer sensei. Maybe it’s growing on me.”

Nanami led you up the escalators, eyes scanning cursorily around. The mall was unusually crowded for this time of the week, but you should still be able to grab what you needed in time before your meeting.

You weren’t really paying attention to your surroundings, your entire focus taken by Nanami’s commanding presence. That was your first mistake.

Your second mistake was pausing by the elegant display of evening gowns to admire the sleek, black dress on the mannequin. Nanami, in his unique brand of kindness, suggested you stay behind to take a look while he ordered your food.

Unfortunately, you were too busy dwelling in the warm, fluttery feelings this man inspired to notice just who else was in the shop.

The familiar voice reached you several long minutes into your trip, sounding just a few racks away.

Your entire body went cold, and instantly numb as you recognised the nasally tenor of your ex-boss. Blood rushed loudly in your ears, and for a few moments that felt like a small eternity, fear left you too paralysed to even move.

This was the man that had tried to ruin your life and very nearly succeeded. The man who had abused your need for a job to get away with doing whatever he wished. The man who had ... who had ...

Your eyes stung with the memory of  hot, clammy hands on your shoulders, touching you without heed to your feelings or consent.

The voice drew closer, slamming you into your body with another jolt of trepidation.

You did not want to see him. You never wanted to see him again.

Spinning around, you dashed behind another rack, heart hammering. He was sniggering loudly with someone on the phone, bringing back more unpleasant memories of all the times you’d ask him to stop being inappropriate only for him to laugh loudly, like your request was silly. “Y/n we’re friends,” he would say condescendingly. “This is what friends do, no?”

You turned another corner, trying to make it to the exit unnoticed, when in your haste you knocked over a mannequin. You stood frozen, shocked and mortified, as you stared at the mess you’d made.

That was your third mistake.

“Y/n?”

It would be wholly undignified to start crying, wouldn’t it? You thought cynically as you slowly turned around to face that monster.

You refused to waver, to show your fear. “Yes?”

“It is you!” He cried, taking a step closer and instinctively making you take a step back. “Long time no see!”

He took another step forward, which you mirrored again by taking a step back. His face was twisting into an ugly smile that barely hid the underlying sneer. “Come on now don’t be like that, is this how you treat your friends? Come on and give me a hug, sweetheart.”

You opened your mouth to snap at him, to say ‘over my dead fucking body’ when a gentle palm settled over your shoulder.

You barely managed not to jump.

“Y/n,” Nanami’s self-assured baritone washed over you. The sudden all-encompassing relief it bought nearly toppled you off your feet. “Your food is starting to get cold.”

Looking at him made your heart shake. He had an unreadable expression on his face, a slight pinch to the corner of his mouth. He must’ve read your fear in your eyes for his features hardened as he turned to regard your company. “And who might this be?”

Opening and closing your mouth, you floundered, no words passing from your lips but for the hesitant mutter of Nanami’s name.

Your ex-boss, in his usual arrogant fashion, nearly sneered at Nanami as he addressed you. “Aren’t you going to tell him sweetheart?”

It was enough to set your blood boiling with anger. With Nanami at your side, the fear receded to allow indignation to take its place. “Don’t call me that.”

Nanami’s hand tightened imperceptibly on your shoulder.

Your ex-boss didn’t heed your wish. “Aw don’t be like that, sweetheart—“

“I think,” Nanami said icily, cutting him off. “That she just told you to not call her that.”

The frigidness radiating off him made your ex-boss straighten and regard Nanami curiously.

And then a sick smile slowly spread over his face, his eyes taking in Nanami’s suit, his hand on your shoulder, his expensive watch and finally his eyes. “Ah,” he said like it all suddenly made sense. “He’s your new boss isn’t he? Gone to play toy to another man, y/n? Does he treat you better? Does he pay you better to use your—“

You gasped as Nanami smoothly stalked forward, grabbing your ex-boss by his meticulous oriental-tie and yanked him closer, nearly lifting the man off his feet.

“Okay, let’s make one thing clear here,” Nanami said, voice unwavering but body coiled with what you recognised as anger. “I don’t know who you are. Frankly, I don’t give a fuck who you are. But this conversation is over. Turn around, and walk away. I won’t give you another chance.”

You watched as your boss glared at Nanami hatefully for a long moment as your heart raced and raced, and more butterflies—and crap, maybe some arousal too—flooded you.

But then his hateful gaze settled on you and he opened his mouth to no doubt make another scathing remark.

Sooner than he could talk, Nanami’s long fingers were framing his jaw and forcefully directing your ex-boss’s gaze back to him. “Don’t even look at her.”

Your ex-boss finally relented, yanking Nanami’s hand away and stepping back to fix his suit. “Fine,” he spat. “I hope you enjoy your useless toy. Pathetic.”

You and Nanami watched him walk away silently. There was shame now as the anger receded.

What did Nanami think of you now?

You stared at the toppled mannequin, the death grip you had on your bag, and finally to Nanami, who looked more than a little ruffled now that your ex-boss was gone.

He turned to face you, and you opened your mouth to apologise, “I’m—“

“Are you okay?” He grit.

You blinked. “Um. Yes. I think. Are ... are you okay?”

He didn’t look okay. He looked angry. You couldn’t even remember ever seeing Nanami angry. “No,” he said shortly. “Who was that? What did he do to you? Did he hurt you?”

The barrage of questions left you a little dazed. You had no idea how to even answer but you attempted to anyway, stuttering under Nanami’s gaze. “That was ...” you swallowed thickly. “He was my ex-boss.”

You hated how it came out as a weak whisper, but you hadn’t wanted to utter his name ever again.

Your mouth opened and closed over all the things you wanted to say but couldn’t—all the things you never told anyone about. Nanami watched you struggle for words, and his expression only darkened. “Y/n. Did he hurt you?”

You stared at your feet as shame nearly overwhelmed you and you choked out, “Yes. But I— I let it happen— I had no choice, I needed the money, I couldn’t just— and he wouldn’t ever listen when I said to stop—“

With a jolt you realised you were crying, and with another jolt you noticed Nanami loom closer.

A gentle hand cradled the back of your head and pushed you into Nanami’s study chest, not quite a hug, one you could easily break if you wished to.

“I’ll kill him,” Nanami vowed softly, the icy softness still there but overshadowed by the gentleness of his tone. “I will.”

You shook your head, shuddering as your arms snaked around his middle and you unabashedly buried your face in his shoulder. “Please stay.”

“I’m here,” he soothed, still speaking in a hushed tone you’ve never heard before. “You’re okay. You’re safe now. I promise.”

The security of his presence washed over you again, tempting your knees to give out.

“I won’t ever leave you alone again,”  he added, stroking the hair at the crown of your head. “Would you like me to cancel our meeting?”

You shook your head mutely. “I’ll be fine,” you managed to croak and reluctantly broke from his embrace to wipe hastily at your tears. “Sorry I ruined your shirt.”

He glanced down distractedly at the small wet spot on his dress shirt. “Don’t be silly,” he chided. “I’m sorry I didn’t come back sooner.”

“You couldn’t have known,” you whispered, wiping at your eyes one final time and taking a settling breath. “We can go now if you want.”

He studied your face closely for any signs of deceit. “We really can cancel the meeting,” he said slowly. “Gojo would understand.”

You bit your lip, tempted. You still felt shaken and unfocused and all you wished for was to go home and curl under your covers.

Nanami apparently took your reluctance as an answer for he immediately whipped his phone out. He sounded strange as he spoke to Gojo, his words short and his tone barely keeping the anger out.

When he finally ended the call, he looked at you. “Would you like me to take you home now?”

“Um,” you said, embarrassed yet again but feeling warm to your toes. “I... I would prefer it if I didn’t have to be alone so soon.”

Nanami simply nodded. “Very well.”

You stared in surprise as he offered you his hand but you took it with only a moment’s hesitation, feeling his large palm completely engulf yours.

“I told you,” he said in answer to your silent question. “I won’t leave you alone again. I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

Now you were sure you were blushing as he led you out of the shop, hand in hand, uncaring for the toppled mannequin or anything else. His grip on you was firm but not tight, and he radiated safety with every step until all the poisonous feelings bled out of you.

“Y/n?”

“Mhm?”

“You would tell me if someone bothered you again, wouldn’t you?”

There was no resisting the smile now, tentative and affectionate. “Yes.”

“Even if that someone was me.”

You looked at him, surprised.

He elaborated: “If I ever do anything that makes you uncomfortable, you have to tell me.”

More warmth flooded your chest. “I will.” You promised.

He squeezed your hand, raising it. “Is this fine?”

“More than fine,” you admitted, face warm. “Really, Nanami-sen—err, Nanami-san.”

A humorous smile softened his features. “You know what? I don’t think I mind that honorific too much. Not from you.”

And it made your heart skip a beat. “Why not from me?”

“Easy,” he said, and turned to regard you with a rare affable expression. “Because you’re my favourite.”