#sometimes i think i'm a very self-righteous and unforgiving person

[syn0vial]

yesterday, i learned that one of my acquaintances from church is like, gleefully and unreservedly supportive of the gazan genocide despite going to a church where every sermon for the past few weeks has been about the horrors and tragedy of said genocide. like, i could not fucking believe how hilarious he seemed to think it is that innocent palestinians are dying, just grinning and laughing and shaking his head and rolling his eyes when my pastor and i expressed horror at the innocent people being killed. just remembering it makes me choke up with anger.

anyway, i'm going to be very stupid and try to talk to him about it this coming sunday. i'll use all my teacherly tricks to try and gently lead him to feel one single scrap of empathy for the victims of israel's civilian massacre, but lbr: he'll probably respond with the same amount of glee and condescension as last night and it's going to end with me making me a scene at church.

but i know i shouldn't. so here are some things i should NOT say, no matter how angry he makes me:

i've always hated the sound of your voice, even before you said such horrible things. you say everything with such condescension. when you read the gospels in church, i have to hide my face behind my program to hide my grimacing. you make the words of christ himself sound like a grift of some oily used car dealer who thinks he's smarter than he actually is. i pity you for going through life with such a voice, and pity you even more for thinking it charming.

it baffles me that you'd allow something as basically human as compassion for the suffering of others to be so utterly sanded away by propaganda. it's pathetic that you could laugh at innocents dying. you've let yourself be lobotomized by a clumsy surgeon and style yourself wise with the icepick still sticking from your skull.

i've always thought your face looks like an easter island head sculpted from a raw chicken breast.

see? none of those would be productive, no matter how truly they express my feelings about this person.

thus: people of faith, pray that god grants me the wisdom and restraint to not light this motherfucker up in the middle of coffee hour. amen.

[weabooweedwitch]

Do you think you maybe do overreact on occasion? I understand you're struggling mentally and trying to find the reasons for that, but you are very harsh on your mom. Would it feel good to you if she held you to the same standard of perfection that you do her, and then raged at you for every slip up? Your reactions just, sometimes are a bit overblown in general. Not just with your mom, with inconveniences at work which we all have to deal with. Which is fine but then you go around and harshly blame everyone else for things which are in the grand scheme of things really not that big of a deal and really just a part of being an imperfect human sometimes. We all find our moms annoying sometimes. For example, your mom with the khaki pants, my mom is the same way and it's because she wants me to wear clean presentable clothes. That is normal for a mom and my friends' moms are all the same as well! She wasn't even being rude about it, she was offering to let you borrow hers. You sound like you are very mean to her though. Does she call you names, yell at you, antagonize you and swear at you for making minor errors the same way you do to her? If I ever spoke to my mother like that, she would have kicked me out in an instant. You should honestly be grateful that she hasn't thrown you out on the street yet, because I'm honestly shocked she hasn't given the way you treat her. You literally said on here 'this must be why her husband had to beat her' which is so vile and unforgiveable that I have no idea why nobody even called you out for it. I also recall that a few months ago you told a hate anon their rape was karma or something like that. You can't treat people like that and then fly into a rage over the mildest indiscretions they commit against you, it's like you expect understanding and support for your flaws and emotional issues no matter how severe but if anyone else is even slightly imperfect you feel immensely victimized and self-righteous in dishing out abuse and condemnation. The only even remotely valid thing you cite as a reason to despise her is that her husband was abusive, and your anger is still directed at the wrong person in that case. You don't get to use her as an emotional punching bag just because your life hasn't panned out the way you wanted. I'm currently undertaking a clinical placement specializing in counselling for recovering domestic abusers and the way you talk is identical to some of my hyperfragile, sullen, crybully clients. You have a toxic victim complex. And please do not weaponize your personality disorder against your mother as another thing to criticize her for - you are choosing to behave this way because you think you have a right to, not because she is making you.

Honestly I just read all this and it genuinely feels like my only option is to kill myself. I'm trying. I'm doing everything I can. I am literally being buried at work and being blamed for other people leaving rheir trash behind, being blamed that I can't get enough done per shift when I don't even have enough shelves to put things out on because managers are having people do one single thing a whole shift

I go home and I can't even get basic apologies. I have never been apologized to for so many things.

I'm trying. If I'm trying this hard and I'm still so unforgivable and awful then there really is no hope for me. This was all for nothing. All these years were for nothing.

[goddessofpatheticness]

Who's birth chart is that, you may ask. Well it's ANDREW MINYARD'S and you're going to be surprised by the accuracy (No rising because no birth time sadly)

With a scorpio sun and a sun-venus conjunction, Andrew should be a suspicious, defiant, and sometimes extremist and violent person with a great sense of style who enjoys a certain amount of luxury, and is generally a fighter, a bundle of energy who would do well in a sports career because of the square between the sun and mars. He usually doesn't lie and keeps his promises since he has a trine between the sun and jupiter. If not for the ✨trauma✨, andrew would have been goddamn hilarious, downright jolly, but alas the foster system did that to him. Also, people with this sun chart might be a little feminine and I'm not saying that to find an excuse to like feminine!andrew hcs-

With a conjunction between the moon and saturn, he controls his feelings and has a strong sense of duty. Very prudent.

With a mercury in scorpio he is extremely observant and astute, always reading between the lines and looking for the real meaning behind things. Passionate in speech (Is your spine the spine of the righteous) , excellent at strategy and willing to take risks (his strategy in the game against the ravens holy shit putting neil as a backliner was a batshit crazy thing to do)

Venus in scorpio (so much scorpio in his chart I should have known), they tend to attract people with their intensity. The appeal lies in their focus and loyalty to one person, and I can almost guarantee there would be deep body and soul commitment and lots of sexual pleasure. Scorpio lovers are also very possesive and jealous, enough to force you to cut ties with people that "would take you away from them" (here is your proof that andrew minyard loves his brother) but you could be rewarded with deep intimacy, as they like to explore every single piece of your being. I cannot recommend making them feel in control enough. In short, keeping neil to himself is Andrew's love language.

Mars in Aquarius, this one is a little contradictory, but there's still things that andrew has. You never, ever know what makes them blow up, and they'd like to keep it that way (view moon-saturn conjunction). They often don't care enough to react to your provocations (see the countless times Aaron tried to provocate him)

Jupiter-Saturn square, he is often indifferent to what goes on around him, can be mistrustful and often in a state of being unsatisfied. He is easily irritated and tends to think negatively.

With a saturn in sagittarius' he can be hard, unforgiving, rigorous, and insensitive at times. A limited and narrow mind in rare cases.

Also if not for the ✨trauma✨ he would be kind of shy, but he had the softness beaten out of him.

Opposition between neptune and lilith, oh MAN. If his love for neil wasn't reciproquated, he would SUFFER, because people like that tend to make the person they love the center of their dull world. Even if the spark of the bond faded, he would have such a hard time letting go because those feelings tend to be comforting, which leads me to believe that if andreil ever broke up it's andrew who would spiral into depression

Lilith in Gemini, he tends to not flaunt his personality and intelligence, and can be wary of social butterflies. People with their lilith in gemini should learn self acceptance at all costs to keep going (like how he accepted his sexuality in juvie)

North node in aries, no wonder he's got so much goddamn trauma. Life teaches him many lessons including self-confidence, assertiveness and decisiveness

In short either it's true that the fictional date influences the character and his arc or nora is a huge astrology nerd.