#sometimes i just be talkin to people and wow. i suck so much why are these people talking to me still

[ghostighostly-oldaccount]

Man.

I need a fucking postit note on my forehead saying 'interact at your own risk' cause like. I fucking suck at talking to people wow.

[haikyuuuuuhypeeeee]

Ch. Fourteen

⚠WARNING: Swearing

• ────── ✾ ────── •

Waking up is painful. Physically painful, at least. You’re not ready to deal with the emotional pain from yesterday, no thank you.

You finally peel your eyes open, a true struggle considering how they were crusted together. You take in your surroundings and form the first coherent thought of the day.

This isn’t my bedroom.

Your eyes seem to be crusted shut. You sit up and realize that no, this is not your apartment, this is Osamu’s apartment. This is his bed you’re currently sitting up from, his blankets wrapped around you.

You then form your second coherent thought of the day.

His detergent smells really nice.

That thought finishes in your head before it’s slammed aside by the rush of yesterday’s memories - group therapy with your friends and Osamu, Oikawa being a complete dick to Osamu, your argument with Oikawa which resulted in Oikawa blabbing of your love for Hajime, leaving the restaurant crying, realizing you lost your keys but they’re at Osamu’s apartment, walking to Osamu’s crying…

From there it’s a bit murkier as your memories intertwined with self-deprecating thoughts and a line of thinking you rarely walk down anymore.

Last night was a night.

You do somewhat remember Osamu comforting you. Letting you know that it was okay and he was there for you.

You glance around the studio apartment, wondering where he was. Oh god, did you force him out good lord you are -

Oh, no he’s sitting on his couch with a cup of coffee.

You’re filled with guilt when you realize you monopolized his bed and completely took over his apartment. Yeah, he maybe didn’t need to sleep last night (a concept you still don’t fully understand nor approve of) but you have fully overstayed your welcome.

Grabbing your phone from the side table you tap the screen, taking in the notifications on your screen.

Shit, I never messaged Makki or Mattsun.

Your gut feels like lead as you open the group chat with the two. That was a big fuck up on your end.

Fuck, I’m such a shitty friend.

You don’t waste anytime typing out a message.

“Tea?”

You look up from your phone and are greeted with Osamu’s sleepy gaze, a mug of tea held in his hand for you. You reach for the mug, nodding slowly.

“How’re yer feel in’ this morning?” He asks as you take a sip. You shrug in response

“I’m okay. I’m sorry I just fell apart like that on you.” You say. “I wasn’t having a great night, and my emotions just kind of bled all over the place. And I’m sorry that I fell asleep.”

“Yeah, that was actually pretty funny.” Osamu smiles. “Ya just kinda passed out on my shoulder. I had to lift ya to get ya onto the bed.”

You blink, absolutely mortified. “Oh wow, I am so sorry. That’s so embarrassing.”

“Nah, it was cute.” Osamu takes a casual sip from his mug, seemingly oblivious to the flirty line he just dropped. “But ya seemed pretty upset last night, and i wasn’t gonna let ya walk home like that.” The smile drops from his face and he looks at you with concern. “If ya wanna talk about it ya can, although I don’t want to push ya. It’d be pretty dumb of me to.

“I know I’ve been pretty skeptical about openin’ up and talkin’ ‘bout my feelings, but since meetin’ ya I’ve felt better. Lighter, I guess.” He shrugs. “Ya’ve made me realize how important it is to open up.”

You look down at your tea, a small smile tugging at your lips. Your heart warms at Osamu’s words, part of you preening that you were the one who has helped Osamu, but also you feel genuine relief that Osamu wants to open up more.

“Well, let me treat you to breakfast this morning - it’s the least I can do.” You finish your tea and give Osamu a small smile. “I can tell you about yesterday if you don’t mind listening.”

Osamu smiles in return. “Sure, let me grab my stuff.” He takes the mug from your hand and shuffles into the kitchen. You sit up, stretching your arms and grabbing your phone. A few more messages have come through from Mattsun and Makki.

Uhhhhh…….

You open up your chat with Oikawa, finding hundreds of messages from him. He hasn’t sent you anything since 5am. You quickly navigate back to the chat with your other friends.

Frantic knocks, one after another, beat against Osamu’s door.

No way.

Osamu gives you a look before walking to the front door. He checks the paper hole, then turns back and looks at you with faint amusement.

“It’s for ya.”

You stand from the bed, moving into the kitchen. Regretfully, you open the door.

A distressed-looking Oikawa is the surprise visitor. He looks absolutely beside himself - his eyes are bloodshot and swollen, snot is dripping out of his nose, and his hair is messy and lackluster.

Oh dear god.

He bursts into tears when he sees you, but surprisingly doesn’t throw himself at you. He must be learning some boundaries. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Y/N-chan! I was being stupid and petty and I didn’t mean to-”

“Ok, ok c’mon. You’re going to wake up Osamu’s neighbors.” You bring the snivelling, pathetic Oikawa inside, quickly closing the door behind him. You help him get his shoes off, glancing around the Osamu. You spot him at the sink, filling a glass with water. He brings it over, giving Oikawa a nod and silently passing the water to him.

“Thank you Osamu-kun.” Oikawa gratefully takes the water and downs it before handing the empty glass back to an amused Osamu. “I plan on giving you a full apology soon, I promise.”

Osamu huffs a laugh and goes back into the kitchen. He sets the glass in the sink as you lead Oikawa through and into the living room.

“I’m so sorry,” you whisper to Osamu. “Do you want me to go?”

“Nah,” Osamu waves his hand. “I’ll get ready for breakfast in the bathroom, and give you guys some space.”

“Thank you, I’ll try to make this quick.”

“Take yer time.” Osamu smiles at you and moves to the bathroom. You turn back to Oikawa, who is watching you with regret painting all over his face.

“I’m sorry I told Makki and Mattsun that you love Hajime.” Oikawa blurts without any bite.

You think you see Osamu flinch out of the corner of your eye but when you look his way you see the bathroom door closing. You look back to Oikawa and sigh.

“Why did you say it then?”

Oikawa heaves a sigh and hangs his head. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to say to make you not hate me.”

“Oikawa, I don’t hate you.” You join him on the couch, leaning into his side. “Talk to me.”

Oikawa presses back to you and you feel his shoulders move up and down as he takes another deep breath. “I knew that uni classes and volleyball would be really really hard - but as long as we all had each other we would be fine. We smashed through high school together, so this was just another challenge.

“But when Iwa-chan died it changed everything. Obviously.” Oikawa takes a shaky breath. “But I still had you, Mattsun and Makki. I knew that we wouldn’t be the same without Iwa-chan, and classes and volleyball would be hard, but we would be friends.

“I don’t think I knew how hard everything would be. My classes suck, volleyball is a chore, and I miss Iwa-chan.” He sniffles. “I miss him so much. I feel like I don’t know who I am without him. But I had you guys, I always had my friends.

“But Mattsun and Makki are in their own world sometimes, and then you started hanging out with Osamu.” He looks at you, tears shining in his brown eyes. “I know it makes me sound like you can’t have other friends beside me, and I really don’t want to be selfish. But you were spending more time with Osamu and it hit me that you were all growing up and becoming different people.” A few tears track down his face and he sniffs. “I don’t want anything to change, I don’t want Iwa-chan to be dead, I don’t want to be a terrible person.”

Oikawa starts to cry and you don’t hesitate in pulling him into a side hug. He’s not really sobbing but you feel his pain deep in your heart. One of your hands comes up to card gently through his hair.

“I know I’ve been a piece of shit the last few months. And I can tell that you really like Osamu, even though you’ve always loved Iwa-chan. Whenever you talked about him you had this happy and bright look on your face. He makes you feel good, but you love Iwa-chan. You moving on meant change, and I hated that.” Oikawa sniffs. “But bringing Osamu to the group therapy session, which I always thought was our group’s thing, made me realize that you were changing. I was so angry, and your secret just slipped out.”

He takes a watery breath. “Isn’t it awful? I’ve been trying to drag you back down to my level, bring you back down to feel the pain that I feel, all because I’m scared. I’m a terrible, awful friend.”

“Oikawa, have you had time to go to your therapy appointments?” You ask gently.

He doesn’t answer right away, and when he gives the tiniest shake of his head you sigh.

“Honey,” you scold gently. “Why are you not going?”

“School and volleyball have taken up a lot of my time.” Oikawa mumbles, his sentence punctuated with another sniffle. “I’ve skipped so many appointments, and I’m too embarrassed to call.”

You sigh, inwardly shaking your head at your friend’s weak excuse. “I don’t want to tell you what to do, but maybe re-prioritize your responsibilities. Getting back on track with your therapy appointments should take top priority. You can talk through these feelings instead of letting them fester.”

Oikawa doesn’t answer right away, but when he does his voice is small. “But I’d probably have to quit volleyball, and that’s all I have left of Iwa-chan.” You see his hands ball into fists. “I don’t want to lose that.” His breath hitches. “I don’t know what to do.”

You let him cry on your shoulder, giving him the time to get all the tears out. You figure this is the most civil conversation you’ve had since Hajime died. The thought brings you relief but also makes you quite sad.

“You know you’re one of my best friends, right Oikawa?” You ask once he’s calmed down a bit. “You’re a diva and a trainwreck, but you’re my diva and my trainwreck.” He exhales lightly but you’re almost certain it’s in amusement. “No matter what, I’m always going to want the best for you, and I’m always gonna try my best to help you.

“But,” you feel him tense up when you continue. “You have to realize that your behavior the past few months has been really shitty. You’ve treated us all like punching bags - we get it, probably more than a lot of people could. But I’m not gonna let you treat me, or any of our friends, like it anymore.”

“I’ll be good.” Oikawa promises immediately. “I promise, I’ll do better for you and Makki and Mattsun. And me.”

“Good.” You give him a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry for yelling at you last night in the restaurant.”

“You don’t have to apologize at all.” He replies immediately. He yawns before speaking again. “Honestly, I’ve been a piece of shit for months now. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” You murur. You both sit on the couch for a while longer as you try to come down from the conversation you just had. You feel like a heavy cloud that’s been floating around your head for months has cleared, and although you know Oikawa won’t magically change overnight you feel better knowing that you’ve had this hard conversation with him. Change starts with communication, and hopefully Oikawa understands now that he has the support to change.

You feel Oikawa leaning against you even further and you look at his face to see his eyes closed and mouth parted open.

“Oikawa, c’mon I don’t want you falling asleep.” You gently push him off you so you can stand and get Oikawa to stand also. His eyes are still closed and he puts nearly all of his body weight onto you.

He must not have slept all night, you think. It’s not uncommon for him to pull all nighters, a habit he picked up in high school watching game tape over and over until the sun came up. But he handles the lack of sleep gracelessly - you could prop him against a door jamb and he’d pass out no problem.

Together you move towards the front door. You’re not going to let him fall asleep here and inconvenience Osamu even more - you’ll take him back to your apartment and maybe try to catch lunch with Osamu. Now you owe him a few meals and unlimited coffee.

“Gotta apologize to Osamu-kun,” Oikawa mumbles when you lean him against the wall.

“Maybe when you’re going to fall asleep standing up, yeah?” You reply, bending down to shove his feet back in his shoes. You hear more mumblings in return but can’t make anything out of them.

As you’re getting your shoes on you hear the bathroom door open and out walks Osamu. He’s dressed and his face is composed into it’s usual blankness. Trusting that Oikawa won’t keel over, you walk over to where Osamu is reaching into his dresser for socks.

“I’m so sorry,” you say. “I have to reschedule breakfast, I have to make sure this idiot won’t sleepwalk into traffic.”

“S’alright. Didja work everything out?” Osamu asks in a measured tone.

“I think so.” Osamu’s not looking at you as he puts on his socks. Your gut twinges with guilt, realizing that he must be upset that you have to cancel breakfast. “But I think I’m gonna take him to my apartment and make sure he sleeps. Do you want to meet up for lunch or something?”

“Can’t.” His short answer makes you blink. “Meetin’ a group on campus for a class project.”

“Oh.” He’s still not meeting your gaze, and you detect a hint of gruffness in his tone. Maybe he’s upset that he has to meet with his group last minute? Or because you basically shoved him into his bathroom while you and Oikawa worked out your issues. “Dinner then? I owe you double now.”

“Probably not.” Osamu stands and gathers a few books and a notebook before shoving them into his backpack. His inability to look at you or hold a full conversation is confusing, but you don’t want to push him.

“Well let’s meet at the coffee shop tomorrow, usual time after morning classes. Sounds good?”

He hums distractedly. Your gut feels heavier and you swallow hard.

“Okay, well I’ll be off now.”

Osamu turns towards you but still doesn’t meet your eyes. “I’ll walk ya out.”

You both make the short walk to the front door. The tension in the room is heavy, unable to lighten even at the sight of Oikawa sleeping standing up. You maneuver your friend while Osamu opens the door for you. It’s a slight struggle walking out of the front door but you manage.

You look back before Osamu can close the door behind you. He’s holding the door knob and staring at the ground. “Let me know if you can do dinner tonight - if not I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You force as much cheeriness into your voice, despite the heavy weight in your chest. Finally Osamu looks at you, giving you a disinterested nod.

He closes the door as you turn to walk away. You look back quickly, catching a crestfallen look on Osamu’s face before the door fully closes.

• ────── ✾ ────── •

A/N: So when I originally thought about this story, I wanted to think about how different people deal with grief. And what I wanted to explore was 1.) is there a limit to how people will grieve? And 2.) can someone grieving push that limit? From the get-go Oikawa has seemingly pushed the limit of what some of you believed, and yet Y/N was still hesitant to call him out. And I loved hearing what everyone had to say about Oikawa - some were willing to give him a pass, and some were NOT happy with him. Now, just because someone is grieving, it does NOT give them a free pass to behave inappropriately or do serious harm to those around them. But I think it’s important to note that what may seem absolutely insane to one person is tolerable to another. And what it comes down to is how the person who is directly affected by another’s actions wants to address those actions (sorry if this is confusing.) Oikawa was treating Y/N and their friends like shit. In the story it was because Oikawa was not taking the necessary actions to keep himself mentally healthy. In Y/N’s eyes, if there is a desire to be better, and appropriate actions are taken to be better, then Oikawa deserves to be forgiven. I have absolutely LOVED reading everyone’s reactions and hearing their opinions on Oikawa’s slowly deteriorating behavior, thank you for sending them in! And just because how Y/N has reacted to Oikawa’s behavior it does not mean there is a right/wrong way! Everyone has different life experiences and different relationships that guide their decision-making! And that’s totally okay! (This obviously applies to non-threatening and morally & ethically right behavior.) And WOOF thank you for getting this far in the A/N’s, this was a LOT! Gold stars for everyone!! 🌟🌟🌟

Taglist Open! Please send an Ask with the request to be added to It’s [Not] Okay Fic & SMAU: @psycho-nightrose @camcam1617 @kamalymaly @toobsessedsstuff @shookykookie30 @roro-707 @qualitygiantshoepsychic @cerealfrdinner797 @ara-mitsue @gray-444 @tanakasimpcorner @rintarovibes @jellien @everytimeswift @bongofrito @babucrow @beidouluvr @kozuken-ma @imarriedachef

[gayenerd]

Transcribed radio interview. From sometime in the Nimrod era I assume because they ask about Nice Guys Finish Last.

Okay, I know I said I'd give this to you all a long time ago, but it's taken me a while to type it up. The interview was done by the Seattle alternative radio station (107.7 The End) a while back. I think it was the Friday before Christmas. Anyway, here are some things you'll need to know to make this interview make sense.

 Andy Savage = DJ for The End

Steve = producer for The End 

They both were the people who interviewed GD over the phone.

End Fest = A concert they played here last summer

Okay, here we go..

.Billie: Uhhh...hello?

Tre: Hello Andy and Steve!

Mike: I thought we were Billie, Mike and Tre..

.Steve: You are. 

Tre: That's the other team, dude!

Mike: Oh! Okay, I got a little confused there.

 Steve: Hey, you guys remember End Fest, don't you?

Tre: Of course!

Mike (saying symotaineously with Tre): No, not at all!

Billie (laughing): Yeah, it was a great show!

Steve: After End Fest, the Guinness people called and said you guys said fuck more than anyone else in the history of the world, so congratulations

!Mike: Are you...are you serious!?

Steve: Yeah.

Tre: Well, tell them to give us some fuck'n beer!

 Billie: No, Tre, the Guinness Book of World Record and Guinness beer are different.

Tre: That beer is fuc'n thick! It'll make you fuck'n fat, too!

Andy: You know what was cool? When you brought that kid up on sage to play a song on guitar with you guys. That was pretty awesome of you.

Billie: Did he say anything about it afterwards?

Andy: Oh yes, and I suppose he's still talkin' about it.

Mike: I told him not to!

Tre: Has he gotten a lotta girls offa that?

 Andy: Yeah, I suppose he gets laid a lot. What did you tell him while he was up there with you?

Mike: I told him is he said a fuck'n word he would be dead.

Billie (in a big strong manly voice): Don't you open your fuck'n mouth, kid!!!

Mike: We're trying to say fuck as many times a possible now.

Steve: Yeah, we noticed. Mike: Well, you opened the can of worms, and now we're eating them!

Andy: Billie. 

Billie: Yeah?

Andy: I heard that before End Fest, you were at Linda's Tavern and you had to take a cab to the show. How much did that cost?

Billie, Mike + Tre laugh

Billie: It was really expensive. I think I had like 40 bucks on me, and my friend Will, whose in the band Sunny Day Real Estate had, uhhh...I think he had...

Tre (interrupting): He had like $243.84 on him!

Billie: ...like, $40 or $50, and it was over $100 to get there. When we were at Linda's drinking; we kinda looked at each other and said, "Oh, we're really shit faced right now." And he said, "Wait, don't you have a show to play tonight?" and I was like, "Yeah!" So really, I almost missed the whole damn show. But before hand, I was also at this Mexican food place is Seattle, and it was probably the best Mexican food I've ever had in my life!

Andy: Really?! Well, what was it called?

Billie: I can't remember the name...

Tre (interrupting): It was called "The Best Mexican Food He's Ever Had in His Life!" 

A: Well, was it like Azteca or something?

Tre: It was called Taco Bell.

 Mike: Yo quiro Taco Bell!

Billie, Mike + Tre laugh

Andy: Nice Guys Finish Last.

Billie: Nice Guys Finish Last, what about it?

Andy: Is that what you believe? What is it all about?

 Billie: Well, a good friend of mine used to have all these really great sayings. He'd say, "Nice guys finish last" all the time, and what else did he say? Something like, "It's a long road to the bottom, but I've got a lotta miles on me" or something like that.

Mike: He had a lot of great sayings. 

Billie: Yeah, he did.

Mike: Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

Andy: Well, do you think that nice guys do finish last?

Billie: It depends on the context, you know?

Andy: In love.

Billie: In love? Yes, definitely. It really helps to be a jerk.

Tre: I mean, look at James Brown! He used a crow bar! He was the godfather of sole!

Billie, Mike, Tre, Andy + Steve laugh

Tre: Nice guys finish last... (starts to go na na na na to the tune of the song)

Andy: So, what are you guys getting each other for Christmas? 

Mike: We're not supposed to say!

Tre: All I know is what Mike got me last year, was a dildo, about...how big was that thing? He got me a fuck'n dildo!

M: It was like knee height. It was pretty brutal. 

Tre: It was bigger than any mumblemumblemumble

Mike: Actually, it was more like a mantle piece than a mountal piece.

Andy: Uhhh...okay...well, what are you doing with---

Tre (interrupting): You know what Mike? You also got me that butt plug last year!

Mike: Heh, yeah, and it's sittin' on your mantle right now!

Andy: Well, who do you like? That is an up-and-coming band that you think is kicking ass right now in your opinion?

 Billie: Uhhh, well, I don't know what label they're on, but there's this band called Dillinger 4, that I looove! They're from Minneapolis and they have a record out. I don't know when it was put out---sometime this year---but it's a really great punk rock record.

Andy: Well, you've heard about the B.S. going on with—

-Billie: What!?

Andy: Uhhh, you know, that crap going on between Pearl Jam and Third Eye Blind.

Billie: Pearl Jam?!?

Andy: Yep. And Third Eye Blind.

Billie: What's goin' on with them?

Tre (in the background): Is this the only way these bands can get recognized?

Mike: Yeah, I know!

Billie, Mike, Tre, Andy and Steve all laugh

Tre: Why doesn't Eddie Vedder pick on someone his own size?

Andy: Well, I mean, Jenkins is all pissed at Vedder because I guess Vedder slammed him, and---

Tre (interrupting): Who's Jenkins? Who slammed him?

Billie (yelling) Wait a minute! I wanna hear what's going on! Wh-what happened!?!

Tre (laughing): Yeah, tell us the dirt, man!

Andy: Steven Jenkins started slamming Eddie because he said they shouldn't be playing "Bubba O'Reily" because their version sucked, and Jenkins told Vedder to shut up. Have you heard both of those versions?

Billie: Oh, wow! I don't think anyone should be covering "Bubba O'Reily." It was done right the first time! Why do it again? Ugh, puh-leeese!

Andy: Well, do you guys do any covers all the way through?

Billie: Yeah, we do a version of "My---

Tre (interrupting): We do "Bubba O'Reily!"

Billie: ...Generation," that's much better than Pearl Jam's.

 Steve: That's a good version!

Tre: Oh my God! My nipples are hard!

Andy: Well, squeeze them!

Billie: MMMMMMM!!!

Tre: What do you thing we're doing, dumbass?!? 

Steve: So, do any of you guys have any piercings?

Billie: I have a little boy--- 

Tre (interrupting): I got cosmetic surgery and now I have a nipple on my butt!

 Andy: And what do you do with it?

Tre: Believe it or not, I suck it!

Billie (imitating Tre's voice): I suck my own butt!

Billie: Heh, and Mike has an eyeball in the middle of his ass that winks at me! (in funny voice) Here's to you, kid! Well, actually, I have a small child at home that's covered in piercings.

Andy: Have you guy set anything on fire lately?

Billie (in big strong manly voice): Jest the barbecue! Out there tailgatin'! And cookin' the weenies!

Andy: Well, last time you were up here, you were at the pier, and I heard you guys started to set the table on fire, and---

Tre (interrupting): I burned a car the other day, but I'm not supposed to talk about that.

Billie, Mike Tre, Andy + Stave laugh

Tre (in funny voice): Well, I just want to say that Pearl Jam and Third Eye Blind, your version of "Bubba O'Reily" just stinks. It just stinks! It-it-it it really offends me, and it stinks! It STINKS!!! Can I say id sucks on the radio? Ca-ca-can I say that??? IT STINKS!!!

Billie (in southern accent): Wul, I thought it wuz perty cool.

Mike: Oh! Goodnight and goodbye! We have to go now. 

Tre: We have to go-nad.

Andy: Well, merry Christmas!

Tre: Merry New Year, and happy Chanukah.

Billie: Have a very hairy Christmas!

Tre: Happy Kwanza.

Billie: Have a good day.

Andy: Hey, you too, ma---

*click*

[stimmypaw]

Stimmypaw reads Darkest Night! The fourth text post!

Back with these uh live reading comments! Remember those? yeah! I'm on the fourth book of Warrior Cats: A Vision of Shadows :D I read The Apprentice's Quest and Thunder and Shadow and Shattered Sky and now!! I'm here :D and boy did I have a time. Click read more to see it!

NEEDLETAIL?????????

Needletail???????????

What?????

OH???????

Wh THIS GUY IS TALKIN 2 DEAD PEOPLE????

HOW WHO IS THAT

OH MY GOD

These guys are weak and dumb skyclan is epic and sharing the territory with them is good, but of course sparkpelt isn't dealing well with change wink wink nudge wink nudge nudge huh???? (this is a nod to how I project into her and say shes autistic)

I am getting anxious for tinycloud SERIOUSLY how much longer until those kits??? Everyday you show up and its WOW my tummy ssure is HUGE AND BULGING I just Wonder Oh When They'll Be Born, probably pretty soon!!! :) and then they arent!!!! Birth dammit!!!

Cherryfall cut the sick and hurt cats some slack jeez youre Fine, youre not feeding half the forest and you have THREE medicine cats ready to help you if youre not feeling well

Bastard Cherryfall I hate you /lh

Dovewing and Tigerheart have relationship drama again. What is UP with those two I simply do not understand them

Watching Bramblestar trying to control this bizarre situation is actually funny he is so close to screaming "PLEASE dont be mad :c"

SOON WHEN???? JUST KIT THOSE KITTENS DAMMIT

Get her, Alderheart

They LITERALLY said something about sharing the territory, they were like "Stars have five points baby and we need those 5 clans togetherrrr" what else do these cats want??? I know its a big change but its necessary

Wait everyone shut up that cat is named Podlight this is so important to me

Dang these cats are really still struggling :c I wish they didnt blame each other

Harestar is so cool

What the FUCK mistystar????

God what a disaster of a gathering Starclan is gonna be so pissed everyone is doing the opposite of what they should

I was holding my breath oof

I hope thunderclan gives some territory too thats too small a space for Skyclan

Oh boy oh boy oh boy i am Anxious for these Kitties

Violetpaw is me having nightmares every night

Macgyver is a heavily gringue name and I have No Clue how to say it how the hell do you say it

Update its either Mick Guyver or Mac Guyver apparently

Its fun to see how different the sisters are from one another, I love them both

I also love their mom with the name identical to puddleshine wish I got to meet her

IM CRYING BRO........M...MDB.....NFBANN.....VIOLETPAW BELONGS MY DARLING MY DAUGHTER

Sadly Twigpaw is for gender binarism 😔 /j

Twigpaw is often in her thoughts and doesn't pay attention to anything around her and I love her for that

Bad news Finpaw is gonna lose his tail, good news I can draw his tail fin-shaped

Puddleshine surgeon moment!!!

I love Graystripe and Millie

And I love that being flirty is a part of Sparkpelt's personality, I don't know what Alderheart is talking about she's always been dandelion-headed

Ok this is epic, I’m glad we’re breaking gender roles in Warrior Cats my heart dropped when the books called Briarlight cr*ppled, that’s the thing they promised not to do anymore recently right? I’m not sure but, I could use some uh less ableism on my Warrior Cats, the series is old but the newer books should be better, so yeah, good modernize these cats babyyy

OH COOL Skyclan journey!!! Fun I hope they find someone :] also fuck Molewhisker and Cherryfall bastards.

Jayfeather is gonna miss Alderheart too much for him to leave hehehe

ALL of Starclan showed up just to call out Riverclan pahahah

oooo is shadowclan haunted?????

FINALLY TINYCLOUD IS KITTING YES GOD YES GO QUEEN GOOOO!!!!

I wonder why Twigpaw wants to stay behind, there has to be more than just the camp stuff

"I wish I were more positive like Twigpaw, but at least I'm just as scarred by the death of my loved ones as my dad :] I like being like him"

Violetpaw witnesses a car crash 😔 that was a bit messy what happened to those cars also why the hell was one of them smaller was it a bike??? Or ???? Idk what's up with it!!!

Needletail just happens to have slow-down turned on for her on the discord chat so she can only say like a few words each hour :/ why the hell is she here tho Violetpaw needs to get OVER your death!!!!

This short exchange has made me love Dewpaw

Also, I love Twigpaw, I still wonder why she stayed behind tho

Ahh, is it cus she feels too estranged from her family :c ? I wish her mom was around maybe that would help

Jee Twigpaw be a tad more empathic, I can see Twigpaw struggles with that sometimes

You can't cheer him up right now he's grieving, just find him on common ground, talk to him, don't try to make him happy just try to keep him company

Oh wow finpaw that's a dangerous thing to say I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure to never be sad because people like her because she's happy and her being sad would be bad

ALSO I JUST REMMEMBRERD UH TWIGPAW MENTIONED BRIARLIGHT BUT BERRYNOSE IS RIGHT THERE???? HE IS RIGHT HE DIDNT DIE OFF SCREEN IM SURE OF IT WAIY

BERRYNOSS IS RIGHT THERE I CHDCKED!!!! HE LOST HIS TAIL TOO AND HES A GREAT WARRIOR, TWIGPAW!!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED IT ITS MORE RELATABLE

Okay I'm glad they're getting along this is nice

Oh look twigpaw you Are like your father :] this is cute

Skyclan begins to fish competitively I'm glad

I like it when medicine cats bicker about their leader's behaviors ehheheh, Jayfeather talking about how weak Shadowclan is, Alderheart being annoyed at his father for wanting to stay silent, the others worried about the tensions this is all cheff the kisser

Jayfeather spitting the truths about how Starclan doesn't know shit, and he is very much one to speak

Puddleshine: Rowanstar stepped up the patrols :c

Leadstar: He has warriors enough for that?? Damn good for him

Dang poor Skyclan I hope they manage stuff better soon

Oooo the girls are fighting!!!

Alderheart starclan anxiety time dang

Sheep :]

Needletail :[

I'm sad Ravenpaw isn't here, this is a lovely reunion scene but knowing Barley will be alone when they all leave breaks my heart

Oh, maybe not, but if they stay I'll be sad also cus Skyclan needs its warriors

Aw man, Twigpaw is struggling :c

OUCH

I WANT SKYCLAN 2 SWIM THO......

Omg crimes

That sounds kinda possessive twigpaw!

DOVEWING?????

T

WhHAHAGAHAHA WHERE DID THAT COME FROM

omg tigerstar 2 real

Whats he gonna do to rowanstar???

ALRIGHT THATA OVER THEN PAHAHA

Aw, I'm glad they're having fun tho, and that twigpaw sees herself as skyclan

Alderheart, as he meets someone for the first time in a while: ARE YOU OKAY???

Blackstar protagonist moment

The medicine cats: our gods are toying with us again and destiny is uncertain

Leaders: I cannot DO this right now PLEASE leave and let me care for The Real Issues

Alderheart: YOU WILL hang out at my house Willowshine this isn't up for debate

Riverclan suffered enough and it's their turn to throw a tantrum about it, honestly good for them hsghahah

Alderheart asks his father to go on a quest to check people's feet

WHAT THR HELL IS A CANTANKEROUS

Alderheart and Willowpelt sitting there watching Shadowclan fight

This is really funny

HEWWO????

Puddleshine, in his eyes: help help

I love Skyclan

Ok this sounds like it's gonna be very very fun

Mission impossible: Escape From São Paulo

Oh, is Fallowfern deaf? That's so poggers omg I wanna see more of her

Edit: fallowfern is an elder that lost her hearing with age and retired after that happened :/ boring

I love leafstar so much

Juniperclaw: aren't you gonna punish her????

Leafstar: why

Juniperclaw: when I tell rowanstar he's gonna be pissed

Leafstar: don't tell him

Juniperclaw: the fuck is wrong with you and your clan??? Where is everyone???????

Leafstar: busy

Icon

I don't trust abled people specially able-bodied people telling disabled people they just have to train harder and feeling sorry for yourself won't help.

But this is the closest to a positive message to disabled people we have ever had in warriors so I guess I'll take it but I want better

IVYPOOL!!!💖💖💖💖💕

Dang ivypool what a way to show someone you miss them hahaha

Twigpaw: uhhhh how's dovewing?

Ivypool: what do you mean did she do something illegal I'm sure she did

Ivypool is a seriously funny character WHY are you yelling at the young adult about your sisters illegal activities she doesn't know anything about it!!!!

Alderheart goes on an adventure

Feet inspector on the road!!!!

Jasper is so funny I love him

Omg what's he got against clan cats??? What's his sad backstory????

YEESSSS SPARKPELT MY LOVE 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💕💕💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕

Sparkpelt your opinion sucks but I love you

I'm really really glad they had this moment this is really sweet, they hadn't talked for a while but this is genuine like, we hadn't had this sort of relationship in so long in the books with just, dialogue yknow??? THEYRE TALKING ABOUT THINGS

And the pause Sparkpelt takes between her speaking to fix what she's saying "I'm sorry for saving you :c no wait uhh not exactly but like" this is so good so natural so fun I love you sparkpelt

I get why she has a diferent opinion on Skyclan it's good for someone close to Alderheart to have a different mindset from him and for him to have someone like uh be opposites from him a lil yknow contrats his characteristics makes both siblings fun round and full of kitty do you get what I'm saying???

I love this

I love Sparkpelt, love her lil anxious moments, love her, love that she just wants to fool around with toms and enjoys Larksong but doesn't want to get serious you go girl

They wanted to write smart-ass they wanted to write smart-ass so bad

They're doing this in the rain?????

I'm quite certain Violetpaw is a young adult by this point its valid for her to go

Wh why did you let your cat out in the rain dude!!! When it comes back it's gonna dirty up the whole place it's wet out there!!!! And the cold is gonna get in the house!!!!!!!

I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH OH LORD

That was SO INTENSE AND SO FUNNY AND SO MUCH, IM SO GLAD SHE MADE IT I GOT SCARED

Oh this is so epic

That moment when your cat nearly dies and then it runs off and you go after it and then a bunch of other cats show up and start running with it

I hope Twigpaw can see the others soon

Glad to see her keeping her medicine cat knowledge ehehehe

???????

Sandynose I hate you you are so abled

Sandynose: I don't want my son to feel distanced from his peers so I'm distancing him from his peers

DOVEWING???

SANDYNOSE SHUT UP IM GOING TO KILL YOU ANS MURDER YOU

I'm so upset with Sandynose WHY isn't leafstar seeing this WHY DOESNG ANYONE SEE THIS SOMSONE PLEASE CONFORT AND LOVE MY CHILD TWIGPAW DOESNT DESERVE THIS

Angry sad upset why

Piscina

Thanks graystripe

Ok who's dying this time

Ok no one just a background cat got hurt he will survive otherwise it would be relevant

This was intense though what will happen now???

YES FINALLY

Oh this is lovely so good they're here!!! The rest of skyclan has arrived and we are all happy together

That dream felt good

NEEDLETAIL??? AGAIN

Where were you at!!!!

What!!!

Check this man's feet how many toes are there this could be good

What

Hegshahwha what the fuck is up with this guy

Okay I like him

Ohhh THATS tree

Change your name if you don't like it you sound trans already

Yeah nothing makes one smarter like dying

This is very fun I'm excited for more of whatever happening

Twigpaw :c

HIS SNIFFLES

Oh no

Hhhhnn I want Twigpaw to be happy so bad, I hate seeing her struggles

Sandynose you are so evil and very detested by me

You can and you SHOULD feel angry at Sandynose he SUCKS and he is being needlessly mean at you!!!!! There are much better ways to bring up the possibility that maybe you'd be happier with thunderclan!!! Fuck off Sandynose

Oh so Snowbush hasn't improved, maybe he will die?

Poor Alderheart

Oh fuck there he goes

Yeah

Aw man, rip to the background cat

That was a heavy death too

Aw, I was hoping the rest of Skyclan would show up before the gathering, maybe just after it???

I wonder what's going on in Shadowclan

TIGERHEARTS MISSING HUH???

The couple was kidnapped

HUH????

Oh my lord oh fuck

Can't anyone step up to lead why do they depend on Tigerheart so much???

Jesus christ

Alderheart kills his gods

This is so chaotic and funny I'm worried as hell for shadowclan but excited a lot is happening

HI TREE AGSGAHAH

Tawnypelt >:(

Puddleshine: WAIT DONT KICK HIM OUT, CHECK OUT HIS FREAKY FEET INSTEAD

Oh dear

Twigpaw :c

TWIGPAW :CCCC Man rememebr when I said I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure of being happy for others? yeah

GET OUT SANDYNOSE I DONT CARE YOURE BEING REASOMABLE FOR ONCE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN LATER

:C

I'm so heartbroken for them

Uh pdhsgahab okay then

Bye finpaw

Wow that was easy for him

This is fun

I'm still sad as hell

Okay there's a lot going on right now wow

The owl scene was funny as hell to picture, this dramatic prophetic moment and the cats just "uuggh is that a prophecy??? Nooo"

Okay so

There's some shadowclan cats missing, considering the many sleekwhisker maps I'm sure she's up to no good but I have no clue what happened to the others and I hope they're okay

Wow! That was really something

Fantastic ending to a very good book its, definitely a different energy from the third but I'm really enjoying this I'm still excited as hell!!! I got worried things would get kinda bad from here but nope!!!! Very fun stuff for now this is very very good and I am enjoying it

This is definitely one of the most fun arcs I've read so far!!! The drama the stakes the little moments everything is tying together really well into a very fun story I'm enjoying a lot!

I worry for Twigpaw and hope for her happiness, and Violetshine too, hope her and Hawkwing deal well with missing her. Tree is being interesting. Alderheart wasn't much of a focus here but always fun to see him trying to solve the damn prophecy no leaders seem to care about. Mousewhisker was okay??? Lots of very fantastic turns for all events and uh let's see where this all goes next!!!

[ughseoks-main]

you’re your father’s daughter

Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

summary: where peter, your boyfriend of many months, finds out that you’re tony stark’s daughter

requested by anonymous: Can you do a peter parker x reader imagine where they're dating and her dad is tony stark but nobody knows because she uses her mom's last name and lives with her mom and basically doesn't like her dad and then could you make it be like how peter would react to finding out about that

word count: 4.4k

warnings: angst, swearing, daddy issues

a/n: wow this is a lot longer than pretty much all of my oneshots whaaat?? it’s like,, halfway edited kinda?? so like dont judge it too hard lmao. but anyways i hope y’all enjoy & let me know what you think!

You didn’t like Tony Stark.

Sure, he was your dad, but after what he’d done to you and your mom, your dislike for him had grown immensely. You could barely remember living with him; you were so young that only bits and pieces of your life then stuck with you. Most of your memories with him seemed to be happy, yet you couldn’t stand to even hear his name.

Although it was so long ago, you could still remember the day you and your mother left. She was crying, but being so young, you had no idea why. You were too young to understand why you’d moved, but a few years later your mom explained to you that she and Tony both decided it was best for both you and your mom to move away. She never went into detail why, saying it wasn’t her place to tell you, which led you to assume that Tony wanted to live out his playboy lifestyle with nothing holding him back, even if that meant abandoning his daughter in the process. The last time you spoke to your father was the day you moved out all those years ago.

Even after all of that, you still had Tony’s number saved in your phone. It was silly, but you couldn’t make yourself delete it. Somehow, having his number saved kept you connected to that little bit of happiness he gave you in your younger years. The only time he called was on your birthday each year, and you always let it go to voicemail. He’d leave roughly the same message each time, usually saying ‘happy birthday’ and that he loved you.

He never said he missed you.

You’d listen to those voicemails over and over again, each and every replay digging into your soul. Deep, deep down, you knew you missed him, but you’d built up so many walls that the sadness manifested as resentment in your heart. Even hearing his name could make your blood boil; a defense against the cold, prying fingers of loneliness and longing.

Shaking your head to bring yourself back to reality, you realize that you’re sitting in the lunchroom next to your boyfriend, Peter Parker.

“He just treats me like… like his own kid, you know?” he says adoringly, taking another bite of his sandwich, “He always listens to my ideas and encourages creativity and thinking outside the box. Whenever I suggest something, he takes it into consideration instead of waving me off for being just a kid.”

If it were anybody else, you’d try to change the subject or politely leave to do something else. However, neither of those options worked with Peter. Even if you changed the subject, he’d somehow find his way back to Tony; plus, he knew you way too well to tell if you were trying to leave because you were upset. So, you just sucked it up and tried your best to filter out all of the Tony Stark talk. Now, you were sure that if you ever told him about your situation, he’d immediately stop. After all, he would never do anything to hurt you.

However, telling Peter wasn’t a risk you could take.

If anybody ever found out that you were Tony Stark’s daughter, your life would never be the same. People would only befriend you so they could use you, and you would always be compared to him. You wanted to be your own person and make a name for yourself without the help of your famous dad. Critics would most definitely blame your success on your bloodline rather than your brilliant, science-oriented mind, which wasn’t something you wanted to deal with.

“So, I was talking to Mr. Stark,” Peter’s eyes grow wide with excitement, “and he said I could invite my friend to come to the lab with me sometime! I figured with how much you love science and how brilliant you are, you’d have a blast with us. It’s like a scientific playground up there!”

“Uh,” you rub the back of your neck awkwardly, “As much fun as that sounds, I think I’m busy. Maybe another time?”

“But I didn’t even give you a date-”

“It’s just… not a good time right now, Peter,” you emphasize, giving him a look that told him you weren’t budging.

“Oh, that’s okay..” he looked disappointed, which crushed your heart, “It’s too bad. I mean, I honestly think you guys would get along great. You’re actually super similar! Sometimes I think you’re, like, his long lost daughter or something. You know, just the other day he-”

“Peter, can you just- can you just stop?” you snap, unable to listen to any more. Peter didn’t know any better, but you just couldn’t listen to him talk about Tony for a second longer.

“Is everything okay, Y/N?” he asked, concern evident in his voice, “You know, you can tell me anything.”

“Just- just forget it, okay? I’m fine, I promise,” you lean over and plant a kiss on his cheek before standing up to go to class, leaving him sitting confused and alone at the lunch table.

Later that afternoon during your free period, you were sketching plans for a new invention when your phone began to buzz on your desk. After throwing an apologetic look the teacher’s way, you slipped out of the classroom before holding the phone up to your ear.

“Peter, I was in class, you know,” you say only half-seriously, smiling a bit.

“Sorry, sorry,” he apologizes, “Um, I was just calling to make sure you’re, uh, okay.”

Your smile falls, the events from earlier that day flashing across your mind. In all honesty, you had been preparing for this phone call, so you knew pretty much exactly what you were going to say. It was simple: you weren’t feeling well and you just needed some sleep, that’s all. Before you could speak, however, a familiar voice speaks in the background of the call.

“Who ya talkin’ to, kid?” the muffled voice of Tony Stark poured into your ear, causing you to freeze in place and blurt a quick ‘i’m fine’ to Peter before hitting the end call button as quickly as possible. You take a moment to control your breathing, your heart beating a million times a minute.

________

Frowning at his phone, Peter pulls it away from his ear and turns to Tony.

“What, girl problems?” he smirks at Peter, giving him a soft punch to the shoulder.

“Yeah, uh,” Peter stutters, “It’s- it’s nothing, let’s keep working.”

Peter doesn’t see Tony’s eyes widen when he sees your name glowing on the top of the screen as he sends you a text telling you to meet him at the coffee shop later. A small picture of you making a kissy face accompanies a million yellow hearts and heart eyes decorating your contact name.

Tony clears his throat as Peter turns off his phone, shifting his focus back to the task at hand.

________

The door to the coffee shop makes a light ding as you open it, the fairy lights strung along the windows illuminating your face in the darkness of the night. You scan the room to see Peter sitting nervously at the table in the corner by the window, the table you two always sit at.

“What’s up Pete?” you say nonchalantly as you take a seat, even though you already know what he’s about to ask.

“Is- is there something you’re not telling me?” he asks, cutting straight to the chase as he looks up at you with his wide, brown puppy eyes.

“I wish I could tell you that everything is fine, Peter,” you sigh, “But I just can’t. And as much as I want to tell you why, I can’t.”

“Why?” his voice breaks, your heart breaking along with it, “Why can’t you tell me?”

“I just can’t,” you whisper, voice raw with emotion.

“If we’re in this together, we have to-” he paused and took a deep breath, lowering his voice a bit since people were beginning to stare, “We have to trust each other, Y/N.”

You remain quiet and fiddle with your hands, unable to force the words out of your mouth. After holding them inside for so long, you didn’t know how to let them out. A squeak from Peter’s chair causes you to look up at him, taking in his cold face as he stands up and looks down at you with disappointment.

“Peter, wait-”

“Talk to me when you’re willing to tell me the truth,” he states before walking out the door, leaving you sitting alone at the table.

________

You didn’t know how long you sat at that table before you went home, tears streaming down your face. When you walked into the house, your mom was already in bed, so you quietly snuck into your room and clambered underneath the covers. You didn’t care if you were still fully dressed; you needed to sleep and forget about the events of today for just a little while.

No matter how long you sat there with your eyes closed, sleep never took you away. You were stuck in bed, replaying your conversation with Peter over and over again in your head until you were sick of thinking about it.

“Ughhh,” you groan, sitting up and rubbing your face before murmuring to yourself, “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

Sliding out of bed and into your vans, you tiptoe through your house and close the door gently behind you, not wanting your mom to know you left the house so late. With a quick glance at your phone, you note that it’s nearing 1 am, so Peter would most likely be asleep. Whatever, you think to yourself, pulling your hoodie sleeves down over your hands to protect against the cold as you make your way towards his apartment.

When Peter open the door, it’s clear that he’s been crying, which shatters your heart.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” you try joking, but he doesn’t seem to return the sentiment.

Cracking jokes at a tense time? The Stark in you was really starting to shine through.

“Why are you here?” he replies, his nose and cheeks tinted pink from the amount of tears he had shed, while yours were tinted from the cold.

“Peter, you have to understand that I- I want to tell you everything, but i just can’t,” you try to explain, the desperation clear in your voice.

“I don’t even know what to say, Y/N,” he exasperates, opening and closing his mouth a few times before letting out all the words he’d been trying to find, “I don’t know what’s up with you, but you’ve been so different lately. You’ve pulled away from me ever since I told you about Spiderman and the Stark Internship. I invite you to things, really cool things like working in a lab with Tony Stark, because I care about you and I want to share these experiences with you and you just- just blow me off like it’s nothing to you! I don’t know why you never want to talk about the internship with me or go on visits-”

“BECAUSE HE’S MY DAD, PETER!” you finally yell, not caring if you wake up the neighbors.

“W-what?” he stutters, eyes going wide.

“Because he’s my dad and he left me and I cannot stand to think about him, let alone talk about him, okay? There. That’s the big secret, and now you know it. Are you happy now?” you snap, finally putting your truth out into the open.

Instead of answering, Peter stands there shocked, hurt filling his gaze.

“Pete?” your voice is quiet now, worried you’ll scare him off because of the look in his eyes.

“I think you should go,” his voice is soft, cracking with emotion at the end of his sentence.

“Wait-”

“Go.” his gaze hardens before he shuts the door in your face, sliding down the other side of it as another round of tears spill down his cheeks. He felt so betrayed; how could you ever keep a secret like that from him?

You stand there for a moment, numbness spreading across your whole body. That wasn’t the reaction you were expecting, but it was definitely the one you feared the most. You didn’t even register that you were walking down the hallway, lost in thought about how Peter would most likely break up with you.

You’re going to lose the person you loved the most.

And you can’t let that happen.

Suddenly, it was like everything was clear again. Before you can take another step down the stairs, you spin on your heel and run back up to Peter’s door, knocking.

And knocking.

And knocking.

“Peter, please let me in,” you plead, leaning your forehead against the door as you continue to knock, wishing that he would just open the door.

With a sigh, you lean back and slide your phone open, going to his contact in your messages. One tap later, you take note of the small dot that reperesents Peter moving quickly across the map.

“Fuck,” you breathe, sliding your phone into your back pocket and running back down the hallway. There was only one place he could be going; the place you never thought you’d return to.

Much to your surprise, you only hesitate for a moment once you’re outside of the tower before running inside and demanding to be let up.

“I need to get upstairs!” you urge, giving the very tired receptionist an exasperated look.

“The tower is closed, Ma’am,” she repeats, annoyance clear in her voice, “You can come back tomorrow during our work hours.”

“Please…” you take a glance at her name tag, “Katy. Please, I need to get up there and talk to Tony.” “If you don’t leave the premises, I’ll have to call security,” she warns, reaching for her phone.

“No!” you reach out towards her and she raises an eyebrow at you, “I mean, please, I’m begging you. Just call Tony and tell him that Y/N Y/L/N is here to see him and he’ll let me up.”

“I’m sure that he’s asleep-”

“I can guarantee that he isn’t,” you pressure, leaning over the counter and giving her the biggest puppy eyes you could muster.

After a few more moments of consideration, she caves, sighing a quick “Alright” before lifting up the phone and speaking quietly into it for a few minutes.

“You’re clear to go,” she gestures to the door, and you catch a small bit of surprise in her voice as she did so. Clearly, she wasn’t expecting Tony to let the random teenage girl from the lobby upstairs.

You walk towards the elevator, heart in your throat as you press the button for the floor that the receptionist told you Tony was on. Each floor you pass makes a small beep, each one elevating your heart rate slightly until the final ding of the elevator rings out.

When the doors open, he’s there.

Tony Stark, the man you hadn’t seen in years.

You stand awkwardly for a moment, frozen in place until finally he coughs and gestures toward the living room, blurting out a quick “Pete’s in there.” Giving him a simple nod, you walk past him and began walking down the hallway, nervous to see Peter because of what he might say to you.

As your nerves begin to build, your pace begins to quicken as well, growing from a casual walk into a full on sprint. After what seems like an eternity of running, you finally slide to a stop in the doorway, trying to catch your breath as Peter’s head jerks up to look at you with red, puffy eyes.

“Peter, I-”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” he falters, looking you straight in the eyes. You can’t hold eye contact with him, so you stare at the ground as he continues, “It was so, so hard to tell you about Spiderman. Did you know that? Did you know how hard that was for me? I trusted you with that huge secret, Y/N, yet you couldn’t tell me something as- as little as this.”

At those words, you jerk your head back up, raising your eyebrows at him. You can tell that he regrets the words as soon as they come out, but you can’t just let it go.

“Woah, woah, woah, Peter,” you feel the anger begin to rise within you, “this is not ‘little.’ Just because it isn’t some sort of secret identity superhero reveal doesn’t mean it isn’t a huge part of me. It’s almost impossible for me to talk about, so for you to say that it’s ‘little’ really fucking hurts.”

“That’s not-” he takes a deep breath, “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean, Peter?” you cross your arms, waiting for an explanation.

“Mr. Stark is one of the most important people in my life. He’s helped me with so much and I don’t know where I would be right now without him. Probably dead, to be honest. At this point, he’s my father figure, you know? And I just can’t believe you kept something like this from me for so long. It hurts that you didn’t trust me with it, especially when I’ve trusted you with so much in my life.”

“You think that this didn’t hurt me too, Peter?” you retort, “You think that keeping this secret from not just everybody, but you, the person I love most, was easy? It was so so fucking hard to hear you talk about him every day, Peter. It was so hard to pretend like I was busy every time you invited me to things or like every time you spoke his name it wasn’t like a knife was being shoved into my chest, because he’s giving you the love he could never find in himself to give me. I understand that he’s your father figure, Peter, but he isn’t mine. I’m so happy that he loves you, but it’s really hard to hear about that when I know that he never loved me.”

You wipe away tears that you didn’t know you’d been shedding until that moment before whispering, “I never meant to hurt you, Peter.”

He was looking down at his shoes, so you had no idea what he was thinking or feeling. All you wanted was for him to say something, anything, in reply. At this point, you were ready for anything he threw at you.

“He talks about you, you know.”

Okay, maybe you weren’t ready for that.

“W-what? I don’t- How do you know that?”

“I-I never knew it was you until now. I always assumed that he just kept his kid a secret from the world for their own sake, which I guess is actually somewhat true,” he swallowed harshly, “I guess your mom keeps him updated on your life because he always talks about how smart and accomplished his kid is. He’d tell me about how they won the science fair when they were only in third grade and were competing against middle schoolers, or how they’d scored a major internship that only five kids were awarded nationwide. I must be pretty thick since I never put the pieces together until now, but Y/N, he does love you. He loves you and he’s so, so proud of you, even if you don’t know it.”

“Then why- why didn’t he ever tell me?” you ask, unable to comprehend everything Peter just told you.

“Because-” he pauses for a moment, thinking, “Because, if you didn’t want anything to do with him, he probably knew that and stayed away because he didn’t want to upset you. At least, I’m assuming that’s why.”

You take a minute to take everything in, reconsidering everything you’ve ever thought about your father. All this time, you might’ve been wrong about him. Looking back on it, you can remember times when your mom would attempt to talk to you about the situation, but you’d always refused, not wanting to even think about him after what he’d done. 

But now? Now, you were willing to listen.

“I’ll be back,” you blurt out before running out of the room, pushing all thoughts about Peter to the back of your mind as you search for the person you need to talk to the most.

When you find him, he’s sitting on the steps of a staircase with his head in his hands, looking rather gloomy.

“Uh, Tony?” you clear your throat awkwardly and Tony looks up at you slowly, not believing his own ears when he hears your soft voice addressing him.

“Oh, hey kid,” he says calmly, attempting to brush off any nervousness, “So, you and Spiderling, huh? I gotta admit, I didn’t see that coming. Didn’t think that kid could love anything more than he loves his homework-”

“Tony,” you tentatively place a hand on his arm for a moment before pulling away, effectively stopping his rambling. While he was talking, you’d managed to make your way up to sit next to him on the stairs. “I-I want you tell me what happened.”

“Well, it all started when I met your mom at a bar-”

You give him a look and he closes his mouth, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

“You know what I mean.”

“Why do you want to know?” he asks, genuinely confused as to why you were suddenly open to discussion after so long, “After all these years, why now?”

“Because,” you pause, trying to find the right words, “I think I’ve had the wrong picture in my head my whole life. Why we left, why you never called. All of my assumptions have caused a lot of hurt for so many people in my life, and I just want to know the truth now.”

He nods, taking a deep breath before explaining everything to you. When you were born they kept everything a secret from the press, wanting to give you as normal of a life as possible before you were inevitably discovered. However, the older you got, the harder it was for them to keep you a secret. They could continue to keep you hidden for your entire life, but what kind of life would that be? Limited to the confines of the tower, never allowed to see anyone outside of immediate family. After plenty of long, solemn discussions, your parents decided that it was best for you to move away with your mom. Tony would rather see you grow to your full potential from afar than near him and weighed down by the burden of fame. 

And just like that, everything suddenly makes sense to you. While you knew it would take time to grow back into a father-daughter relationship again, you also knew it was something that you were determined to accomplish someday.

After the conversation dies, you sit quietly with him for a few minutes. As you sink into the comfortable silence, a sudden thought crosses your mind, it’s urgency causing you to jump to your feet.

“Wait- how did you knew Peter and I were dating?” you blurt out, turning to look at the amusement in Tony’s eyes.

“Saw your name on the kid’s phone. It had lots of little heart emojis by it, so I assumed,” he shrugs, smirking slightly.

“Speaking of Peter, I should, uh, probably go back and talk to him,” you begin to walk down the steps, nearly making it to the doorway before Tony yells after you.

“Hey, keep it PG!” he shouts, shooting you a wink when you turn over your shoulder.

Shaking your head, you try to wipe away the smile creeping up on your face as you turn back around and make your way back to the boy you love.

Once back in the living room, you’re surprised to find that Peter is nowhere to be seen. You’re about to pull out your phone and give him a call when suddenly, you’re attacked with a hug from behind, a yelp falling from your mouth.

“Peter!” you laugh, melting into his arms, “You scared me!”

“Mmm,” he mumbles, giving you a tight squeeze before letting go and spinning you around to look you in the eyes, “Where’d you run off to?”

“I, uh, talked to my dad,” you explain, finding it a bit odd to call him Dad after so long.

His gaze softens as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, “And how’d it go?”

“Pretty good, actually,” you admit, a bit surprised yourself by how smoothly it went.

“Listen, I never apologized for earlier,” he says quietly, guilt shining in his eyes, “It was wrong of me to ever say those things-”

“Shh,” you put a finger to his lips, “Yes, you may have said some things you shouldn’t have, but you were rightfully upset and I know you didn’t mean them. I’m sorry for hiding this from you for so long. Even if Tony and I weren’t talking, you still had a right to know about my past, because it’s what makes me who I am today.”

“But-”

“No buts, Peter. We’re both at fault here. Communication is key, and we both kinda failed in that area. We can talk more about this tomorrow if you want, but I’m exhausted and in need of some ice cream. Care to join me?”

Smiling, you grab his hand and try to pull him in the direction of the elevator. Instead, you were jerked backwards, shooting him a glare when you realize that he has planted his feet into the ground to prevent you from going any further.

“Actually, I have a much more efficient way of getting there….” he grins, wrapping his arms around your waist and carrying you over to the balcony outside.

“Peter, oh my god, I am NOT going to do this- AAAAA!” you scream and close your eyes as he jumps over the edge, letting your bodies fall. Your arms wrap tightly around his shoulders as he holds you close, swinging from building to building with ease. (You could’ve sworn you felt him laugh at you.)

Before you knew it, your shrieks of terror turn into shouts of glee as the wind rushes by your face. Peter assumes that you’ve gotten used to the sensation of flying through the air as he takes a quick glance at your now open eyes and wide smile. However, the real reason you’re no longer afraid was because of a single thought that crosses your mind as your hair whips around your face.

Nothing, not even swinging high above the city in the dead of night, was as scary as losing the people you loved most.

taglist (+ a few people i think might enjoy this, feel free to ignore!);

@minnie-marvel @quxntumvandyne @lokis-sunflower-anna @cynicallystiles @laurfangirl424 @misslunala @secondsineternity @peter-prkers @sighspidey @signed-potato @lokiislowkeyhot @highlady-ofthe-summercourt @0captain-marvel0 @delicately-written @thefallenbibliophilequote @tohollandback @buck-ets @newtimewriter @thedaughterofdawn @lltrashll @paradoxparker @propertyofmarvel @sagebrandy-loves-pancakes @flaminghottaquito @marvel-galaxy @moonkissedtom @yoinksholland @futzingclint @lokiismischief @whycantwebefriendz @hedwigthelegend @yellowkenyon97 @casuallytumblingdownthestairs  @yelyahryan @em-aesthe @peter-parker-fyeah @screechingtacoglitter @candycornparker @smexylemony @sleepybesson @hollandroos @spiderboytotherescue @starsholland​ @pumpkinsandparker

[slytherin-puffskein]

You’re my Bad Idea

small drabble based on a discussion with @thecursedvaultchild

* * *

“This is bad idea”

“You’re a bad idea” the redhead chortles, glancing over his shoulder. “Shut up and live a little !”

Talbott Winger purses his lips, but follows the young Slytherin anyway. What else can he do, huh ? Run away because he feels a silver of worry ? Bullshit, there is absolutely no need to feel like that. They are just two friends, finally hanging together after some time apart. They do that plenty of times. In the Owlery, in the Greenhouses, near the Black Lake, so what would that time be different ? Is he afraid of not knowing what to talk about ? Definitely not: despite their striking differences Laurent King and Talbott Winger always find some common ground. Conversations turn out to be odd, yet interesting. Sometimes, there is just nothing to say, so they only sit in silence and think.

Through Winger, Lau found out that silence can be, in fact, enjoyable.

Through King, Talbott learned that risks might come with pleasurable rewards, after all.

So if this hangout in the dead of the night is going to make them learn more things about themselves, then why not ? Why should he turn tail and run ? He wants this. He was the one who suggested this in the first place, and Lau took care of everything else. He won’t screw this up, right ? No. Despite Talbott’s attempts to comfort himself, doubt keeps tugging at his mind, and no matter how bad he attempts to push it away, it persists.

His eyes catch the soft glint inside of Lau’s bag, and they slip inside the Artefact Room and it’s comforting silence.

“Lumos” the Ravenclaw mutters.

Light chases the darkness, and they both sit on the cold floor. As Talbott stares at a small mouse scurrying along the walls, Lau opens his bag to take out a large bottle of Fire Whiskey. Shiny, beautiful, dangerous.

“Are you sure about this ?” Talbott questions as Lau twists the cap off.

The redhead can only grin, refusing to give out a satisfying response.

“Certain. Just relax for once in your life and drink, Winger”

And as a silent dare, he hands him the bottle. Hesitantly, Talbott grasps it and takes a small gulp.

He isn’t that much of a drinker, and by seeing that pathetic gulp Lau can’t help but scoff.

“I thought you wanted to get drunk, Talbott. That you wanted to forget. Drinking like a pussy won’t make you forget”

“Right”

A large swig, and he grimaces before handing the bottle back to Lau.

“Tastes gross”

“You’re the gross one” Lau giggles.

He throws his head to the back, and drinks over and over, to the point that a small drop of whiskey trickles down his jaw, then neck. In truth, Laurent can’t say he’s a fan of alcohol’s taste. In truth, he considers it utterly gross, to the point that Butterbeer is the only drink he can endure. He only truly got drunk once, and it resulted with him kissing Summer Charn, prettiest girl of his year. By kissing her, he had thought he would have felt some level or arousal, but nothing came up. Literally.

Ever since, he didn’t touch a bottle of Fire Whiskey again, because he had no wish to start kissing people randomly. Why bother doing that, huh ? Kissing feels weird anyway, almost gross, with squishy, slippery lips and wet tongues. At least, it felt like that with girls, as he had never kissed a guy before. Most of the time, he found himself daydreaming about how making out with a cute boy would feel like... but, as opposed as with Summer, he won’t do it with the first person he finds. No, he had a specific person in mind. Barnaby. Barnaby fucking Lee, that man was going to be his first kiss, Lau had promised himself that.

But now, he was pretty hard to kiss as he was officially dating Summer Charn, who could easily be described as Laurent’s closest friend.

So can he really whine ? Can he really yell at his friend until she breaks up with him ? No, that’s not how friends act with each other, not at all. So, Lau tried finding another way to deal with this awful situation. Talbott came out with a solution: drink.

Because he too couldn’t bear the sight of Summer kissing Barnaby.

It wasn’t because he wanted Barnaby, however.

Lau and Talbott do have common ground, as they both have awfully complicated love lives.

Soon enough, they drink, and drink, and drink. Hesitation turns into certainty, and they are lucky that Lau had thought of bringing another bottle, because they are quick with emptying the first one. The more they drink, the hotter the air around them feels, almost crushing them with it’s heaviness. The colder their limbs feel, too. Frozen, even. Maybe due to the dread of having your crush dating someone else. That’s possibly the most logical explanation.

“Shit sucks” Talbott mutters.

“Wow, didn’t know you knew how to swear”

“I can when I am intoxicated enough, I suppose”

“Intoxicated” Lau mocks his friend’s voice. “It’s drunk, Talbott. Just say drunk... you have yet to learn some vocabulary. What else don’t you know ?”

“Kissing”

Talbott’s reply lazily slips from his lips, and Lau barely reacts. He only nods.

“Yeah, me neither. Didn’t you date Summer, though ? You guys definitely kissed, I walked in on you once”

When they finally broke up, Lau was relieved with the knowledge he wouldn’t have to walk in on Summer making out with someone... but then, she started dating Barnaby, and the cycle repeated itself with Lau having the most terrible timing and seeing them stuffing their tongues in each other’s throats.

“That’s not what I’m talking about. I kissed her, but while doing so I worried. About the Vaults, and all of that. That’s not a natural kiss, isn’t it ? Barely a real one”

While Lau can understand Talbott’s judgement, he sighs heavily.

“Less talkin’, more drinkin’”

Talbott shrugs and takes the bottle from him to take a large swig, before staring at the redhead.

"You kissed Summer too, right ?”

“While drunk. We were both barely thinking”

“I think that’s the first rule when it comes to drunken kissing: you do not think”

“Oh, so you know how drunk kisses works ?”

“Not really”

Gently, Winger bites on his lips, and his gaze flickers to Lau’s.

“Teach me”

Talbott’s mind is too foggy to realize what is truly going on. Lau’s too. The Slytherin tilts his head, raising an eyebrow.

“What’s in it for me ?”

“Whatever you want”

“I want to be held”

“Me too”

“I want to forget”

“Me too”

Lau’s surroundings feel unreal as he scoots closer to Talbott. The Ravenclaw places the bottle aside as he watches the Slytherin sitting on his lap. As their gazes meet, Talbott is facing an expression he fails to decipher on the redhead’s features. Empty, drained eyes.

Talbott squints.

I’m good at reading people, usually. Why can’t I figure out what he is thinking about ?

Maybe because he isn’t thinking. Honestly, I’m not either. Why would we bother thinking in such situation ? Right now, we don’t want logic. We want to act. We want to exist inside of his messy, messy world.

Act, because it’s the only thing we are able to do, he thinks as Lau gently pushes him on the floor, hovering over him.

Act, because the spur of the moment is the only antidote to pain, and the only way to forget.

His lips remain sealed as he feels Lau’s, but they finally part, just a little. His hands moving on their own, they slide on the redhead’s waist, pulling him closer.

Gently, Lau’s hand slides down his thigh, and Talbott’s breath gets caught into his parched throat.

“Summer” he breathes out.

“Barnaby”

[queenlua]

radicarian said: how dumb are we talkin'

under a cut because the diehards can’t find me there

(note: um this got long, apparently i have a lot of art-criticism-y thoughts about this)

so there’s this subreddit that was created for “respectful” negative critiques of The Last Jedi, right?

and i find this amusing for a bunch of subtle inside-baseball reasons.

to dump my cards on the table:

* i keep Star Wars discourse at forty-foot-pole length, and

* while i really enjoyed The Last Jedi, and thought it did a lot of interesting things,

* it managed to attract a fanbase that seemed to love it for really dumb/cringe-y lefty/SJ reasons—if i see another “TLJ is about punching nazis” take i will scream, and yet

* of course the haters hated it for even dumber, bad-at-watching-movies reasons (“wah i don’t like that Luke was a depressed old dude wah” omfg y’all do you just want Ep4 re-released forever and ever—okay, yes, that’s what Ep7 was, you’ve made your point)

obviously this “respectful critique” subreddit is more palatable than like, idk, nerds screaming at Disney or whatever, but it embodies this fascinating faux-intellectual discourse that i see creep up time and time again on the internet.  i’m familiar with this subculture because these are totally the forums i would’ve hung out in when i was twelve, haha :P

scroll through the archives and you’ll find endless weird, obsessive, nitpicky critiques of the new movies.  people are salty because some obscure point of Force lore/mythos were rendered inconsistent by the new films, people are salty because Anakin’s sacrifice was “undermined” by the new baddies, and also Rey is a Mary Sue, blah blah...

and it feels like when you’re a kid, and you learn about the list of logical fallacies for the first time, and then spend the next several years pointing out the fallacies in every political debate, as if the problem with election cycles is the words ad hominem and non sequitur.  like, yeah, kinda?  but you are missing the forest for the trees, buddy.

similarly, so often what people assert is “bad writing” is this annoying memetic thing, where one dude launches their contrarian take on Why [X] Sucks, and maybe they’re even right that the piece feels unsatisfying, but often their critique amounts to a bunch of obnoxious nitpicks and checkboxes rather than a compelling narrative of what, on the whole, isn’t working.

but then a bunch of contrarian nerds latch onto that take, and parrot the same boring nitpicks back at each other forever, and because they’re being “contrarian”, they’re convinced that they’re Smarter Than Those Other People, and they end up forming a whole weird negging version of the fandom based around pseudo-intellectual gamesmanship.

and again: i get it.  i wrote my fuckin’ 80-page takedown of every single page of Eragon as a twelve-year-old, i get why people find it fun, i’ve engaged in my share of it over the years, but nowadays it just bores me.

in general, as i’ve gotten older, i increasingly cringe whenever someone describes something as “categorically bad game design” or “bad writing” or whatever—not because i think all writing is equally good; of course it isn’t.  but, (1) usually other adjectives are so much better for describing what exactly is happening—writing can be subdued, flat, frenetic, brash, stilted, hollow, uneven, etc, and these all tell you so much more than “dumb” or “stupid” or “illogical” or “bad”.  and (2) other descriptions often give a better sense of what was being attempted, so you can actually judge the piece by what it was aiming for—and sometimes, the answer is “this isn’t bad, it just wasn’t meant for you,” a thing that fans often find intolerable but i think is actually kind of neat.  (random example: ff13 was not flawed merely because it lacked open-world exploration.  it was trying to tell a different story and give a different experience, and you can have an interesting discussion about whether that experience works, but if you spent the whole time being pissed that it’s not ff7 then of course you’ll hate it.)  and finally (3) the rare stuff that i just find bad bad bad is usually not worth raging about at any particular length.   i don’t learn much or feel good about doing exhaustive takedowns of every Eragon-tier novel on the market; i haven’t even got enough time to read all the good stuff.

(as a sidebar, you’ll notice that very little of my engagement in fandom is via “meta” essays, and this is kind of why—while there’s lots of interesting and wonderful meta that i adore reading, i’m personally uncomfortable writing it, because so often it gets embroiled in these weird fanwarish arguments about “good writing” and i just disengage.

the nice thing about writing fanfic is that it often embeds my feelings about the piece i’m responding to—but in a way that isn’t an argument or a game, it’s a here’s how this worked for me & how it made me feel, and you can write both fanfic that’s furious at canon and fanfic that’s elated with canon while still having something compelling and interesting and new to say, i guess.)

for another perspective on it: one of my favorite takes on TLJ was from a friend of mine, who was pissed because to her, it felt half-assed.  it tried to do something bold, but flinched at the last moment: it didn’t go far enough to truly be a subversive weird arthouse film, nor did it nail any of the fun popcorn-cinema things you want from a blockbuster, and thus it failed at both.

that’s a fascinating perspective, one i don’t share but one i’m very glad to hear about.  but i assure you that that’s not a take you’ll ever see posted on that subreddit, because it’s just a totally different tenor than the obsessive, nitpicky arguments they’d rather have.

and i find the “forum debate” style of argument staggeringly emotionally tone-deaf at times—like, here’s someone pissed that Rey somehow didn’t try hard enough to redeem Kylo in TLJ and that’s what made it bad, and just, wow.  if you couldn’t hear—feel—the heartbreak in Rey’s voice when she says “please don’t go this way,” if it didn’t remind you of a time when someone let you down in the most brutal possible way, if you didn’t feel that moment of “oh, fuck, this isn’t what i thought it’d be”—then idk.  uncharitably, i’d say you’re just going out of your way to be annoyed over even the bits that really really worked—but at the very least we’re just not really relating to this piece in an emotionally compatible way at all and our conversation stops there.

anyway, yeah!!! tl;dr sometimes i pass the time by eating popcorn and watching nerds who assert they are Better Than Other Nerds doing “takedowns,” basically

[ixiablogs]

A special night (f2f)

Ixia arrives in a space on the surface, looking around with a smile. He was here with Spade and Brio some time ago... its still pretty as ever.

- Speaking of Spade, the sometimes a skeleton, most of the time a cat monster rears his fluffy face when he sees Ixia. He gives him a grin. 

"hey, bout time you showed up!"

- Ixia smiled sheepishly, putting away the device that let him come here to begin with. 

 "oh, leave me alone im still getting used to working this thing... so, uh, where'd you wanna go again?"

- Spade grins and gestures for Ixia to follow him as he turns and starts walking through this quaint, almost fantasy style town. He leads them to a bar, a little bit busy at this time of night, but not too crowded. 

 "i came back to this line when we hung out and found this place and man, their drinks are super good. they also got food if you dont wanna get trashed."

- Ixia blinks in surprise, humming for a bit as he thinks it over. Last time he got drunk with someone... oh but, no, he has a way to get home and a place thats safe to get back to. It'll be fine. 

"i! think i could use a few drinks, honestly, neheh..."

- Spade's expressions softens a little bit and he nods. 

 "yeah, i totally get that. c'mon." 

 He leads them inside and takes a look around before heading to one of the booths closer to the bar, taking a seat on one end and watching Ixia sit opposite of him. There's two little drink menus on the table they can look through at their leisure. 

 "so... how you been doin? im sorry i kinda.. suck at talkin to ya.”

- "oh, no its okay. im not much better either, hehh...." 

 He picks up one of the menus, flipping through it. 

 "uhm, well... i've been doing okay! i think.. i think ever since i left my home, i've been doing better. it is... weird adjusting though, eheh. the longer im away from home, the more i realize that.... i forgot how to be a person. i forgot how to talk to people.... after all, when you re-live the same week or so over and over and over it... it messes up your head...." 

 Wow, he hasnt even had any drinks yet. Feeling extra vulnerable today he guesses...

- Blink blink. Yeah that! Kinda came outta left field, but Spade's not gonna judge. He just listens and nods along, letting out a little sigh. 

 "i know it aint so easy but you really should just loosen up... i mean, aint no one gonna bite you if you just. talk to them, or just talk online and see who might wanna talk back. you'll be okay though yeah? i think you'll be okay."

-- Ixia blinks at the other, giving him a sheepish grin. 

 "eheh, yeah, i guess you're right...."

-- They exchange meaningless small talk for the next.. however long. They browse and order drinks, Spade talking about which are his favorite, Ixia admiring all the different colors and there were some that glowed?? Wowie.

-- "you knowwwww..." 

Ixia's speech is finally starting to loosen as he finishes his current drink, twirling the glass around. "i rreally like this place.... and not like, just the bar! nyeheh.... this like, town, its so... cute an pretty an nice.... wasp showed me one line, an... an sure it was nice but... mmn.. i might ask pippap about building me a house here...."

-- Spade's ears twitch up curiously. 

 "ooh yeah? sounds pretty nice t'me, and hey, you do whatever's gonna make ya happiest right?" He smiles, warm and friendly.

-- Oh,, he doesnt know why, but It feels like his soul's fluttering a little.

 "mmneheh, yeah! yeah i guess thats true.... i'll hafta do some looking around myself though, i havent seen much of this place actually, an i think it'd be nice..."

-- He chuckles a little, tail idly swishing about. 

 "well hey, maybe sometime when we aint so sloshed, we can go 'splorin round the place. scope out somewhere you might want a house... what kinda house you thinkin of anyhow?"

-- "what, kind? uh... ohh, i guess i havent thought of it much... some kinda, big spacious... cute... oh! oh i'd love to have a nice garden all around... mmm... a big living room, with a fire place.... and a nice kitchen so i can try making my own meals, neheh...." 

 He gets this whistful look on his face as he thinks more about it, losing himself in his thoughts.

-- Spade idly sips at his drink as he watches and listens, a warm feeling in his chest, along with a pained one. 

 "...god, i forgot how cute you could be...." 

 A beat, then a blink. His face flushes red. Shit shit he didnt meant to...

-- Ixia pauses for a second too before giggling, covering his face with one of his hands. 

 "pffnyehheh heh... oh, stop it...."

-- Oh, it was. Well received? His face relaxes, and he goes back to smiling loosely. 

 "hehh, what? its true.... you've always had such a cute face, such a cute laugh...." 

 He idly slides a hand across the table, facing upwards as if to ask for a hand in return. 

 "those are some of the things i really like about you...."

-- Ixia's face flushes more, and his soul flutters harder. Seeing the hand offered to him, he.. hesitates for a moment before placing his own hand on top, both moving in almost sync so their fingers can lace together. He casts his gaze downwards, his expression dropping a little.

 "..dont you mean 'liked'....?"

-- Spade looks Ixia in the eyes, his expression relaxed, but also.. serious. 

 "no," He squeezes Ixia's bony hand. "i mean what i said."

-- His chest tightens and he squeezes Spade's hand back in turn. 

 "but i... im not the same person to you, right?... not anymore...."

-- Spade shrugs a little bit. 

 "i mean, sure, if you wanna get all technical. you're younger, went through less shit, and you even look a little different, but...." 

 He tries to think for a moment, looking at Ixia through half focused eyes, pupils razor thin almost. 

 "that dont mean nothin to me... if you wanna change yer name, change yer whole life, i'd fall for ya again and again, regardless."

-- That look itself is enough to send shivers up his spine, and the words... almost enough to tear his soul apart. Especially when he thinks back to everything Wasp's told him in regard to... to his situation. But those last words... its like Spade kicked open the flood gates, cause he cant hold back his tears.

-- Spade releases Ixia's hand only to come around to his booth and sit next to him, embracing him and holding him tight. 

 "its okay.... just let it all out."

-- Ixia hiccups as he tries to hold back his sobs but when Spade sits next to him and wraps those arms around him he just cant help but bury his face against his chest and just cry. So much pent up emotion finally gets to be released... all his confusion, all his pain, all his doubts. After a few minutes of this, Ixia finds himself feeling a little lighter than when they came in. He sniffles, still as close to Spade as he can possibly be, his head tucked against his chest. 

 "w.. will.. will y-you st.. stay with me?...."

-- Spade nuzzles the top of that skull, a low purr rumbling in his chest and throat. 

 "if you want me to, then yea. i will."

-- Ixia sniffles and nods a little, nuzzling against Spade's chest (and also wiping some of those tears away in the process). When he feels relaxed enough to pull away he lets out a shaky sigh, rubbing at his face. 

 "i... i really am sorry it.. its just been so hard and you, you just... treat me like, well, me an thats... thats all i wanted.... thats all i want...."

-- Spade watches him intently, his tail lightly thumping against the booth. When Ixia finishes talking he reaches out and holds one of his hands again, lacing their fingers together, rubbing his thumb idly against the other’s hand. 

 "its okay... you're okay." He offers him a little smile. "whatsay we get a few more rounds in before we head out. you look like you need em."

-- Ixia sniffles and blushes as Spade laces their fingers together again, managing a little smile in return. 

 "y.. yeah, okay... sounds good to me...." 

 And they do just that, Spade staying next to Ixia all the while as they go through more drinks and even more small talk, but this time... this time, the closeness makes it all the more special. Thats what Ixia thinks at least.

They spend hours together before finally they part ways, both of them knowing their goodbyes wont last for very long. Not now, not after that night. 

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Here you go, Fox! Hope you like the story :)

.......

“Hey Seán?”

“Hm? What’s up?” Jack asked while the two of you were putting Halloween decorations around the house. 

With the holiday approaching fast, you went on a bit of a shopping splurge to get the spookiest decor. Of course, you gave them your own little touch-ups with some magic, although in this day in age you had to keep your secret as a witch under wraps around most people, so you kept your magic use down to a minimum.

You had a unique affinity with magical creatures, especially black cats. Since it was Halloween they started to show up a lot more often in the neighborhood. They would always flock to you upon making eye-contact, sometimes even leading you to places where they kept their litters of kittens. Since you were a “good witch”, you’d bless them to ensure they lived long, healthy lives.

But recently you began to see a peculiar, green-eyed cat with messy fur hanging around the house, watching Jack all the time and following him around whenever he goes out into the streets. He seemed very skittish whenever he looked at you, though, since he’d always run away or vanish into thin air.

You’ve asked Jack about it before, although he always assumed that the neighbors were feeding him and he just hung around the yard because of that.

There was something about that cat that piqued your interest, especially considering you sensed dark magic radiating from it...but curiously enough that magic didn’t show up within it at birth.

You had a hunch it was somehow given to him.

“Have you seen that green-eyed black cat recently? I think I can explain why it’s-”

“[Y/n], I already told you I haven’t fed it at all,” Jack huffed. “Besides I get the sniffles whenever I’m around them. Maybe later I’ll go ask the neighbors to stop feedin’ it so much-”

“He’s lyin’. They don’t feed me shit.”

The sudden, thick, Irish-accented voice made you jump a little, and when you glanced over to the kitchen area, you could see that green-eyed feline sitting on the counter. “Oh! Here he is.”

“Wha--Oh shit! How did you get in here??” Jack rushed over, only for you to put a hand out to stop him.

“Don’t startle him,” you hissed.

“Thanks,” the cat telepathically spoke to you and Jack, whose eyes widened incredulously. “I guess it’s time I have a little chat with ya. I’ve been too nervous to come forward, but yer witchy friend here’s catchin’ on.”

“What the...a-are you talkin’ in my head?!”

“Ya finally figured it out. Congrats..” The cat jumped down from the counter, walking towards you both as you sat down on the floor. Confused, the YouTuber followed suit.

Once the creature was in front of you, he sat back and looked up. “Long story short..my name’s Anti and I was cursed to guard the McLouglin family as a smelly cat for all eternity.”

Jack stared at him in surprise. “Wow, really? Y-You’ve been watching over me all this time?”

“Yeah, I was actually a member of the family once. But some nasty witch cursed me after I failed to protect one of our siblings from her wickedness.”

“Oh..jeez I’m sorry to hear that, Anti.” He frowned, reaching over to lightly pet him, which he accepted as he closed his eyes and purred a little. “You can’t turn back into a human at all?”

“No. But I’ve come to accept it..even though it just....sucks. She’s long dead. But the magic she inflicts remains forever..”

“Maybe there’s something I can do.”

Anti and Jack looked towards you, confused by your words. You smiled and gazed at the cat, reaching over to pick him up and place him in your lap, petting his fur tenderly. “I can’t remove the curse entirely..but I can try to restore your human form.”

He craned his neck to stare up at you. “Really? You must be one of the good witches..”

“A good witch in-training that is,” you chuckled, raising your fingertips which began glowing yellow--almost like gold. “But do you accept my offer?”

“....yes.”

With a sigh, you gently touched his forehead with one of your glowing fingertips, tracing it in a circling pattern as you mumbled a small incantation under your breath. Jack watched in fascination as he saw the glow start to engulf Anti’s body, before it completely enveloped him and caused him to change shape.

You set him on the floor and stood up, backing away. Jack did the same.

Finally, the glow faded and in the cat’s place was a man who looked just like Jack, except for his hair being wilder and messier. He also sported black cat ears, a tail, and claws....

And was also completely naked.

“U-Uhh lemme....getcha something.” Jack blushed as he quickly grabbed a blanket off the couch and handed it to Anti, who wrapped it around himself with gratefulness.

He smiled as he looked at his hand, relieved that it was no longer a cat’s paw, before he touched his face, feeling his beard and cheeks. “I-It’s...It’s been so many years since I’ve been able to talk without freakin’ people out....” Then he gazed at you, tears already forming in his eyes. “Thank ya...ye really are a good witch. They’re so rare I thought I’d never see one again..”

“Well, you wandered into the right house at the right time.” You smiled as you ruffled his hair. “You and Jack probably wear the same-sized clothes. He could find you something to wear.”

“Of course! Come with me, guardian boy!” The YouTuber agreed, smiling, too, before he had Anti follow him to his room.

Meanwhile, you just sighed and gazed at your fingertips, watching the golden sparkles gradually fade away. 

Yep. You still had the magic touch.

[heyauntieeee]

First Impressions (1)

T’Challa X Black!Reader

Warning: Language: I said nigga way too much yo

Summary: After meeting Reader in a restaurant in the strangest way, T’Challa can’t help but be fascinated by her.

Words: 2,701

“First impressions last the longest.”

“So, what are you gonna do?” Kadijah’s question rang through your ears as you sat and ate your food. You were at dinner with your cousin and a couple of your friends in a desperate need top get out of the house. The restaurant wasn’t as crowed as it usually would be on a Thursday night. The atmosphere was pleasant, filled with the murmur of conversation and utensils clinking against the plates. No different than what was going on at your table. You shake your head and sigh. This wasn’t necessarily the desired topic of discussion for you tonight. You wanted to forget about your troubles at home, even if it were for just one night.

“I don’t know Dee,” You say putting my fork down. I sit back in my seat and sigh again. “I don’t know what I can do about the situation. I just want what’s best for Olivia. Will needs to be present in her life. That’s all I want.”

She smacks her teeth. “Ok but he barely is. He’s still fucked up from when Ciara left, he can’t hold on to that shit forever. It’s almost as if he want’s nothing to do with that child cause she not here.”

At this point you were starting to get a headache. “Can we talk about something else please? That’s the reason we came out right, to get away from all the bullshit?”

She takes a long look at me with her deep brown eyes letting you know that she was adamant about having this conversation, but she sighs, signaling that she’s giving in.

“Yeah I guess.”

You let out a breath. “Thank you.”

“Well now that we done talking bout depressing shit, can we talk about how fine them two niggas at the other table are?” your friend Gina pipes up flipping her braids over her shoulder and resting her chin on her hands. Her eyes peering over at something behind us. “Dude with the dreads got me feeling a way, I need him to rearrange my guts yesterday!”

You look at her unimpressed. “Bitch you always talkin about getting ya back blown out. Weren’t you just complaining that you couldn’t walk the other day when you hooked up with Daquan? Walked into work all bow-legged and shit. I thought you need a handicap decal.” You feign concern. “Ain’t you tired sis?”

She rolls her eyes. “Tuh! When you can’t walk that just mean he hitting it right you can call me Kevin Gates cause ion get tired!”

You stare at her “Wow.”

Kadijah shook her head. “You are triflin as hell.”

“Indeed, she is. What you need to do is find you a husband and not just some guy to fuck. I’m telling you, you’d be much more satisfied.” Your other friend Danita says looking at Gina with disgust. She just got married last year and now she thinks she’s above everyone else. She’s like that light-skinned girl from Insecure who thinks she has the perfect man and the perfect marriage, but the more layers you peel back, the more dirt you find. Not to say that you weren’t happy for her, cause you were, but you just wish she would shut the fuck up sometimes and let ya’ll single bitches live, shit.

Gina throws Danita a look. “Girl shut yo boring married ass up and besides fuck me, look at the them.”

You and Kadijah both roll your eyes and finally turn around to see 5 people sitting at the table behind us two men and three women. Two of the three women had shaved heads and were dressed in what looked like armor the red uniforms highlighted their dark skin as their alert eyes scanned the room wearing bound and determined looks on their faces letting folks know that they weren’t anyone to fuck with and they were prepared for anything to pop off. Sitting next to them was the first man, and you had to admit he was fine as hell like Gina said. His short dreads hung on the left side of his face, brown eyes, nice full lips, he looked kind of irritated though, like either he didn’t wanna be there or he wasn’t feeling the conversation that was taking place at their table. But damn even with that scowl on his face he still looked good. He was looking kinda swole too, like he was finna bust out that jacket he had on. The other girl looked to be the youngest out of all of them. Her braided hair was done up in a high bun and was wearing a black and white dress. She was talking to the man sitting next to, who, if you were being honest, the most beautiful man you had ever seen in your life. From his brow skin to the curls in his hair, large dark eyes that you could get lost in for hours, that smile and infectious laughter. Jesus Christ, he could light up a room with that smile and his full lips, not as big as the other one’s but still you could think of quiet a few things he could do with tho-

You shake your head and turn around you didn’t need those thoughts in your head with all these people around.

“He aight,” you say dismissively trying to shake off those feeling. But sis you were shook.

“Aight?” Gina questioned. “Bitch is you blind?! You see two fine black men sitting 10 feet away and you just say they aight?”

“Yeah Y/N you trippin,” Kadijah.

“I couldn’t agree more.” Danita spoke up.

You roll your eyes. “I was talking about the nigga with the dreads but go off I guess.”

“When you’re loud and wrong but ok so then what you think about the other one?” Gina asks. Like why she gotta know your opinion about shit? Nosey ass. You look away not wanting to look her in the eyes cause you knew she’s know what I thought right away. A big grin makes its way on Gina and Kadijah’s faces. Ain’t this bout a bitch.

“He’s cute,” you mumble not wanting either of them to hear you.

“I’m sorry what was that,” Dee says putting her hand up to her ear. “I couldn’t quite hear you.”

“Yeah hoe speak up,” Gina says.

“I would like to hear what you have to say as well,” says Danita. This bitch was starting to get on your nerves.

You huff. “I said he’s cute damn! Finest man I ever saw in my life. Y’all satisfied?” You fold your arms and pout. Bitches always putting you on the spot.

“Mhm I knew it! She want that di-”

“Dammit Gina!”

“You should go over there and say something,” Danita suggests. Dee and Gina nod their heads in agreement.

“Yeah and I should say ‘fuck you I ain’t doing that.’ Can we just enjoy our meal please?”

They throw their hands up and go back to eating their food. You take a sigh in relief and do the same.

Meanwhile, T’Challa, Erik, Shuri, Okoye and Ayo were at their table eating when Erik chuckles. It seems that your conversation wasn’t as quiet as you thought it was.

“What is it cousin?” Shuri asks wanting to know what was so funny.

“You know they over there talking about us, right? Well not all of us, just me T’Challa.”

“Who?” she’s really curious now.

“Them female sitting across from us. Apparently, we some ‘fine ass niggas T.’” He says full on laughing now. Shuri rolls her eyes and so does T’Challa.

“Don’t be ridiculous Erik,” he says cutting his food.

“Ain’t nothing ridiculous about it. You heard everything they said just like I did so don’t even try to deny it. That one,” he begins, pointing toward your back. “Thinks you’re the finest nigga she ever seen. I mean ion know what the fuck she talking bout but-”

“N’Jadaka!”

“And her sexy ass,” he continues pointing toward Gina. “Wants me to turn them guts inside out. And far be it from me to block her blessing.”

“Isilwanyana esilwe ngesondo” Okoye mutters as she sips her tea and Ayo chuckles. She’d much rather hear anything else in the world than hear about Erik’s sexual exploits.

Before Erik can form a rebuttal, a loud voice yells from the front of the restaurant.

“AYO E!” a tall dark-skinned man shouts and starts making his way over to their table.

“Aww shit man here this nigga go.” Erik says under his breath.

“Who is that man?” T’Challa asks.

“Man that nigga Tyrone. I used to run the street with him a until I left for MIT. I fucked his ass up cause he stole from me. I shoulda murked his shit but I let him go, made an example out his ass, but he wouldn’t let that shit go and started talking shit round the block. Said when he saw me again it was a wrap. Bitchass.”

“Bast sake,” T’Challa says pinching the bridge of his nose.

Tyrone gets to the table, folds his arms and smirks. “Wassup nigga you thought I wasn’t gon see yo ass again? I said on sight nigga and I meant that shit.”

Erik stays seated and sucks his teeth. “I see you ain’t learn the last time. Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit you ain’t bout it!”

T’Challa tries to intervene. “Excuse me sir, I understand that you have some issues with my cousin here, but I can assure you that we can settle this, how you say “beef” another way.”

Tyrone looks at him like “Man sit yo dumbass down and shut up.” T’Challa clutches his invisible pearls.

“This ain’t got shit to do with you. And as for you nigga, I want my round let’s take this shit outside.”

Erik takes a deep breath as he tries his best to keep his cool. Every bone is his body is telling him to get up and snap this nigga’s neck, but he let the man talk his shit cause he’s just been redeemed and had been trying to check his temper.

“Aye man I’m telling you now back the fuck up, you don’t want no smoke nigga”

Okoye and Ayo stand and give Tyrone a menacing look. Okoye speaks. “I suggest you leave now before anyone gets hurt. Rest assured, it won’t be them, it will be you.

“Man who the fu-”

T’Challa and Erik stop them, they didn’t want to cause even more of a scene. Other patrons were starting to look toward their table because Tyrone was so loud.

“It is ok, General no need to cause a scene.” T’Challa says. “We’ll get him out of here soon enough. Have a seat.”

“Yeah, y’all ain’t even gotta do allat I got it handled.” Erik conceded. “Imma tell you one more time keep it up and Imma rock yo shit.”

Okoye takes looks at T’Challa then looks at Tyrone and takes her seat. Ayo does the same.

Tyrone chuckles. “Bet you broads don’t think you’re so tough huh?”

Shuri is finding this entertaining as hell. “Bast, dinner and a show this is going to be fun!”

T’Challa shakes his head, trying to figure out a way to deescalate the situation. ‘I can’t have one moment of peace’ he thinks as he sits back with a sigh.

You can hear the commotion coming from the other table. You all were trying to figure out what was going on.

“Man why niggas gotta come up in a spot all loud and acting a fool?” Gina says as she strains her neck to see what was transpiring. “What the hell is going on?”

You roll your eyes. “I don’t know but he starting to get on my fucking nerves.” You say. All you wanted to so was have a nice dinner with your friends and this nigga was just killing the vibe. “And there ain’t nobody from management coming to throw his Bruhman looking ass out here yet.”

Then you hear again from across the room. “Nigga I’m not finna say it again we going outside or what?”

“That’s it!” You say turning around in your seat despite your friends’ protest.

“Y/N, don’t!” Kadijah hissed as she grabs at your arm to turn you around. You snatch your arm away.

“That nigga probably crazy as hell, you don’t know what type time he on.” Gina says.

“Gina, I don’t care that nigga is outta control messing with them for no fucking reason. Ain’t nobody doing shit so Imma handle it.”

You turn around once again and glare at the offender.

“Do you know exactly how loud and annoying you are? We can hear you all the way over here.”

They all freeze and look at you. You start to lean over your chair still looking right at Tyrone.

Tyrone looks at you and scowls. “Who the fuck you talking to?”

“I’m talking to you. What y’all exes or something you sound like a bitter baby mom.”

“Aye what the fuck is your problem yo? Turn ya ass around and eat ya food.” You were really starting to get heated. This nigga was starting to get real disrespectful and it was only so much you could take before busted his shit wide open.

“You my goddamn problem! You coming up in this bitch like you big bad and bold, tryna start shit with this dude and he ain’t even tryna fuck with you like that yet you keep running yo mouth. If was really bout shit you woulda been swung on his ass but you ain’t did shit yet. Talking all that shit and can’t even bust a grape get the fuck outta here.”

Shuri’s confused. “When did we start talking about grapes.”

T’Challa just stares at her both surprised and amused that a complete stranger would go out of her way to defend his cousin. He wasn’t sure if it was because she cared or because her dinner was being ruined by Tyrone. Either way, he was interested to see how this would play out. Even though he knew this couldn’t continue for too long as he didn’t want he, his family, or the other party to be kicked out by management.

“What would you like us to do, my King?” Okoye asks. She was growing annoyed with the commotion, but like T’Challa, she did find this stranger entertaining as well.

“Stand down for now. I don’t see this going further than exchange of words across the room. I’ll take care of it if necessary.”

Okoye’s purses her lips. “As you wish.”

Ayo just sits, watching the fuckery unfold and she is here for it.

Kadijah is desperately trying to get you to turn around and just shut the fuck up but you just can’t let it go. “Y/N turn the hell around and mind yo business!”

Tyrone smirks and still wants to talk shit. “Sweetheart I suggest you listen to ya friend cause I’m not gon say that shit a third time turn the fuck around”

“I ain’t turning shit around and I suggest you shut the hell up and go home. Cause you ain’t nothing but a fucking bully and that shit is whack as fuck!”

Erik decides to intervene before shit really gets outta hand. He turns to you. “You ain’t gotta fight my battles for me babygirl, his punk ass ain’t gon do shit, believe that.” He gives Tyrone a look so fierce that if looks could kill he’d be dead and gone.

Tyrone sucks his teeth. “Man, ion even know why we wasting time on this raggedy bitch, let’s handle this shit right now.”

Shuri shrunk back in her seat, T’Challa’s mouth hung open like a fish, Okoye and Ayo looked at each other in shock as well, Erik puts his head in his hands and mutters “Shit”. You looked back at your friends to make sure this bubblegum-built bitch was talking to you. Time literally froze. Before T’Challa could even think about standing up and doing something you speak in a low voice.

“What the fuck did you just call me?”

Y’all... I can’t even tell you happy I am to have this out. This has been in my head for months and took me over a month to write it. Y’all would’ve got it last week but my computer is a whore and she don’t like me right now but it’s cool tho. 

Anyway let me know what you think. I tried to edit and proofread as best I could so I’m sorry for any errors. And if you want to be tagged let me know!

Tags:  @youreadthatright @muse-of-mbaku @sunigyrl @brianabreeze @misspooh @killmongersaidheyauntie @kenqueenken @princesskillmonger @ororowrites @texasbama @wawakanda-btch @purplebish @royallyprincesslilly @halfrican-heat @curls-and-crosses @princessstevens @lunaerly @tchallamakesmeh0lla @kumkaniudaku @sarahboseman @sisterwifeudaku @dramaqueenamby @laketaj24 @hearteyes-for-killmonger @pocmarvelworks @bartierbakarimobisson @adahjones @uhlxis @panthergoddessbast @babygirlofwakanda @killmongerdispussy @erikismybitch @bakarijordan @thehonorablekingerik @teheeboo @eriknutinthispoosy @wakandas-vibranium @wakanda-4evr @90sinspiredgirl

[tired-wolfe]

CGs Comfy Place

Large Pesterlog below cut

CHW RIGHT NOW opened memo on board GGS COMFY PLACE. CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CCG: AYO IT'S KANKRI. CHW: Its alm9st danger9us h9w when I'm typing elsewhere and the mem9 69ard thing p9ps up, if I d9n't n9tice 6ecause im typing it'll just enter me int9 the mem9, haha, 6ut hell9, it is me. CURRENT gardenGnostic104 [CGG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CGG: oh, hi there! CCG: SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING THE OTHER DAY... I...GOT WOKEN UP. CURRENT gallowsCalibratorr [CGC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CGC: Y3S H1 CURRENT ectoBiologists [CEB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CEB: hi! CURRENT timaeusTestified [CTT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CTT: Hello, everyone. CGG: ok, i got a video, i don't know if you saw or heard it before CGG:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Se9TyhKuXqE CHW: Y9u are fine Karkat, I understand. Th9ugh I did miss y9u when y9u were g9ne. There was s9 much left I had t9 sh9w y9u. S9 we'll have t9 d9 that again, may6e when y9u d9n't have t9 6ash y9ur head int9 a desk t9 d9 s9. H9w, is y9ur head 6y the way? CCG: WOW. CGC: H4H4 1V3 S33N TH4T  B3FOR3 CGC: FUNNY SH1T CCG: YOU JUST WHOLEASS TOLD AN ENTIRE MEMO ABOUT THE DESK INCIDENT. CCG: THAT WAS *CONFIDENTIAL*, KANKRI. CHW: 9h- CGC: H4H4HH4 CHW: s9rry CGC: BUST3D CGC: OOOH SN4P CHW: # I'm really 6ad at letting cats 9ut 9f 6ags CGC: 1T W4S WORTH 1T CEB: why are you bashing your head into desks?? CHW: # Y9u have t9 tell me 6ef9re hand that its c9nfidential 9therwise I assume its pu6lic kn9wledge CCG: TO FALL ASLEEP. CGC: DO YOU N33D 4 B4ND 41D FOR YOUR BOO BOO K4RK4T CCG: ):B CGC: H4H4H4 CHW: Karkey has sleeping pr96lems 6ut came t9 visit me in the 6u66le~ CCG: YOU'RE ALL ASSES. I'LL SMITE EVERYONE IN THIS MEMO. CCG: KANKRI SHUT UP. CCG: ANYWAYS. CEB: i mean, i guess that's one way to do it. have you tried laying in a troll slime bed thing and closing your eyes? CHW: # I'll shut up, s9rry CCG: NO, JOHN, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NEVER TRIED TO FALL ASLEEP BY NORMAL MEANS, NOT EVEN A SINGLE FUCKING TIME IN MY WHOLE LIFE. WHAT A RIDICULOUS CONCEPT! CHW: # sn9rt CEB: you should try it sometime. :B CHW: # y9ung me was the same CCG: I WANT TO THROTTLE YOU. CGC: C4LM 1T HOT HORNS CHW: Karkey d9n't use vi9lence CCG: YOU JUST CALLED ME KARKEY IN FRONT OF A GOOD NUMBER OF PEOPLE. CCG: I'M GOING TO TAKE YOUR FUCKING KNEECAPS. CHW: Yes? Is, that a pr96lem? I th9ught- 6ut, its just a cute nickname CHW: # sad CCG: I'M DYING INSIDE. CEB: rest in peace. </3 CGG: oh, gosh, i think we just derailed a bit CCG: I'M FORCING ERIDAN TO GET HIS ASS OUT OF BED SO HE CAN JOIN THIS MEMO. CGC: OH GOG CEB: i don't think there was ever any rails. CHW: 9h g9d CHW: Why 6ring the Amp9ra int9 this? CGC: 1M JUST SLOWLY F4D1BG 4W4Y CCG: HEY, ERIDAN IS PRETTY COOL, SHUT THE FUCK UP GUYS. CHW: # Please d9n't ask me t9 get Cr9nus 6ecause I'd s99ner d9u6le die CHW: /:6 CCG: NO ONE SAID SHIT ABOUT CRONUS. YOU'RE THE ONE WHOSE MIND ALWAYS GOES TO HIM. CEB: i don't know either of them. CCG: THERE HE IS. HEY ERIDAN. CHW: My mind isn't ALWAYS 9n him CCG: YOU SURE? CGG: hi, eridan! CHW: 9h g9d h9w c9uld say such gr9ss stuff CURRENT caligulasAquarium [CCA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CCA: hey CCG: IT REALLY SEEMS LIKE IT IS. CHW: Hell9 9ther amp9ra. CCG: YOU ALWAYS FUCKING TALK ABOUT HIM DUDE. CHW: N-n9 n9 I am n9t! CCG: HIS NAME IS ERIDAN, NOT "OTHER AMPORA". CHW: I d9 n9t always 6ring up Cr9nus. # excuse me while I g9 thr9w up CCG: DUDE. CCA: lets not talk about that primitivve praisin lump a grease in my prescence the read a such comparisons alone makes me wwanna throww up CCG: JEEZ, OK. SOMEBODY'S IN DENIAL. CCA: lets just CHANGE the topic entirely howw about that CCG: FOR ONCE I AGREE WITH ERIDAN. CHW: I agree with y9u CHW: Lets, talk a69ut instead, s9mething much less upsetting f9r all CEB: cats. CCG: EVERY TIME KANKRI SAYS A WORD THAT HAS THE LETTERS "BO" IN IT I LAUGH. CCG: I HAVE THE MINDSET OF A WRIGGLER. CGC: BO CHW: Yeah, sure, lets d9 that. Cats are nice, s9ft. CCG: 69. CHW: 699 CGC: W41T 1 FORGOT 1M NOT K4NKR1 CHW: hahaha CGC: FUCKS S4K3 CCG: YOU GOOD TEREZI? CHW: Terezi, are y9u 9kay CGC: Y34H CEH ceased responding to memo. CGG: ok, here's a cat video CGG:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_S5cXbXe-4 CEB: ehehe. 69 CCA: its ignominious havvin to read evverythin you guys say to each other CCG: I WANT MY GAMZEE TO COME ONLINE SO HE CAN GET HIS ASS IN THIS MEMO BUT HE NEVER COMES ONLINE UNTIL LIKE. CCG: 3PM AT THE EARLIEST. CCG: AND CURRENTLY IT'S ONLY 1. CCG: UNFORTUNATE. CHW: 9h, its 4:13 here CTT ceased responding to memo. CHW: 9h, 6ake it, I supp9se CCG: WACK. CCG: SLAHOUDGIASUHKDHASDGEYRIUEJRFJDHSK CURRENT tidsopitmistTranquillity [CTT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CTT: Uh. CCG: WHO THE FUCK IS THAT. CTT: Me. CTT: Thats whom CCG: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU. CGG: oh, hi there! CTT: Hey owo CGC: WHO CCA: you havve no idea the extent i gotta crain my neck to be able to see your dastardly lightened text colour CCG: OWO. CCG: UWU. CHW: Karkat has s9me 9f the 6est reacti9ns CGC: TH3 FUCK 1S YOU CEB: gotta put my glasses on to read that color. CTT: Okay CTT: Has my family seriously forgotten me CCG: YOUR TEXT COLOR IS THE SAME COLOR AS A LEMON CANDY CANE I JUST GOT DONE BREAKING MY FUCKING TEETH ON. CHW: Even I am struggling, may6e its 6ecause my eyes d9n't exactly have pupils th9ugh CCG: YOUR FAMILY? CTT: That's sad as shit. CCG: YOU HAVE A FAMILY? CCG: I FEEL BAD FOR THEM, HOLY SHIT. CGC: HUH CGC: 1M SO CONFUS3D CCA: maybe its cause your busy ogglin that tommyrotted shitwwit alternate a myself CCG: ME TOO. CCA: evver think about that CGC: SOM3ON3 F1LL M3 1N WH4T TH3 FUCK SORT OF BR41N C3LL 4M 1 M1SS1NG CTT: Wow. CCG: ERIDAN, DON'T START SHIT. CCG: TEREZI I KIN THAT STATEMENT. CEB: karkat and i share -3 braincells. CCA: im not startin shit kar i am being nothin but CIVVLIZIED and PROPER here just by the basic vvirtue a me talkin CCG: YEAH. CCA: oh fuck CCA: my browwnies CCA: bee ar be CGC: 4LSO SHUT TH3 FUCK YOU F1SH WHY DONT YOU GO SUCK YOURS3LF L1K3 YOU DO 3V3RY N1GHT CCG: DEAR GOD. CEB: wow! damn. CTT: God damn it CGC: Y34H CCG: TEREZI SNAPPED. CGC: 1M 1N 4 B1T OF 4 B4D MOOD TOD4Y SORRY 3V3RYON3 CTT: I looked away for a bit and I return to chaos. Good god. CCG: JAMES CHARLES VOICE. SISTER SNAPPED. CTT: DAMN IT CTT: Stop. CEB: karkat please no. CTT: Fighting CTT: H CGC: R1GH TOK CGC: FORGOT HOW TO FUNCT1ON CCA: ivve hardly said anythin deservvin a vvitriol and scorn rez wwhy dont you shovve your tongue wwhere your crimson eyesockets are you are such a pain in my ass connivvin blueberry CCA: i mean i wwasnt evven TALKIN to you CCG: OK, EITHER DIRK OR THE LEMON GUY IS GOING TO HAVE TO CHANGE THEIR TEXT COLOR. CCG: I CAN'T HANDLE THIS. CCA: mind your owwn business CTT ceased responding to memo. CCG: ONE OF YOU BITE THE BULLET AND CHANGE IT. CCG: OH. CCG: THAT WORKS TOO. CCG: BYE DIRK. CGG: :/ CEB: i thought dirk was the lemon guy damn. CGC: OK WH4T3V3R 3R1D4N CCG: NO, HE'S THE ORANGE GUY. CCA: hey kar CCG: HEY. CHW: W-wait ARE Y9U SAYING THAT I AM HAVING A HARD TIME SEEING 6ECAUSE IM F9CUSED 9N CR9NUS???? CGC: S4D S4CK CCG: WHAT. CCA: wwhy dont wwe ditch this popsickle stand CCG: FOR FUCK'S SAKE KANKRI, YOU'RE SLOW AS HELL. CCG: HUH? CTT: Son of a bitch CEB: at the bottom of the screen it looked the same okay? CGC: WH4T CCG: WE? AS A COLLECTIVE? CTT: What are you even fighting about CGC: OK4Y 1 G1V3 UP TRY1NG TO COMPR3H3ND CCG: ME TOO. CGG: i don't even know CHW: Im s9rry that p9rrim pestered me and this mem9 is flying CCA: im just sayin this display is nothin but a bloody mess a  recalictrant scorn wwe might as wwell hang out or somethin you and i CHW: Im s9 fucking pissed right n9w CCA: plus CCA: past you DID say hed be wwillin to do so CTT: Trigger warning CCG: I MEAN CHW: # Fr9thing Rage CCG: OK. CGC: K4NKR1 SW34R1NG 1S 4 W34R OCC4S1ON WH4TS UP CHW: # literal fire in my eyes CCA: really you arent bee essin me here CCG: I DON'T MIND HANGING OUT IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. CTT: EVERYONE BE TRIGGERED CCG: NO, I'M NOT. CGC: C4NT R3L4T3 CCG: KANKRI IS GOING OFF THE SHITS HELP. CGC: WHY CCA: my hivve or yours CTT: OH SHIT GUARD THE STAIRS CHW: Fucking I cant 6ELIEVE y9u w9uld say such gr9ss stuff CGC: WH4T CTT: They be FALLING DOWN THEM CHW: # Fucking flipping my literal shit CGC: W H 4 T CGC: HDU13F U1H RFR CGC: R3QFH1UCRH FRGHTVU 5G CGC: GTJ1 VRGT CTT: oh my God. CCA: wwoww that strawwberry shortcake is such a flippin drama machine it is truly pathetic CGC: V3GGU9TR CGC: GU9TRHY CTT: AUshdgdhd CTT: Jdhdbsnstshhdgd CGC: HTR9UHT3UH3 CTT: Dtthshshskwhe CTT: D CEB: what is CCA: shut the hell up CEB: stop CGC: 3UH9TRHUYR4U CHW: Eridan G9 FUCK Y9URSELF CTT: No CHW: Cause # N9 9ne else will CGC: BGT90YBH CCG: RIGHT NOW I FEEL LIKE THIS IS THE TEXTUAL EQUIVALENT OF SCREAMING TO MAKE MY VOICE HEARD OVER A LOUD CROWD TO COMMUNICATE WITH ERIDAN. CCG: HELP. CTT: Uncle John what the fuck is good going on CCA: this is exactly wwhy you and i ought to be messagin each other separately CGC: W3LL TH3N HOW 4BOUT TH1S CCA: glad youre agreein wwith me bro i can alwways count on you CGG: oh, gosh! CEB: i'm sorry what? CCG: OK, FUCK, DM ME ERIDAN. CCG: I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING. CCA: wwhy dont you dee em me CCG: IT WAS YOUR IDEA! CCG: BUT FINE. I'LL BE THE MATURE ONE. CHW: Eridan said I c9uldn't see lem9n candy text 6ecause I was f9cused 9n Cr9nus. When we all had pr96lems with the c9l9r CGG: gamzee is here CGC: FOR FUCKS S4K3 CURRENT terminallyCapricious [CTC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CTC: HeY. CTT: Oh honkY CCA: ugh CGC: OH H3LL NO CCG: KANKRI, SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND COOL IT BEFORE I BAN YOU. CTT: HEY CCG: ERIDAN, DON'T PROVOKE HIM LIKE THAT. CTT: God damn it why are you so rude to each other CHW: H9w w9uld y9u feel if s9me9ne said such a thing a69ut y9u Karkat? CCG: NO ONE ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION, LEMON MAN. CCA: wwhat do you mean provvoke wwho CCG: GO SUCK A CACTUS. CTT: Yeah. CCA: i havve no idea wwho the hell you are talkin about CEB: i really have no idea what's happening. CGC: M3 4ND G4MZ33 DONT H4V3 4 GOOD H1STORY TOG3TH3R CCA: i havvent been provvokin no one wwhat a slanderous thing to imply CHW: # g9es t9 sweater t9wn CCG: EVERYONE STOP TALKING. CHW: # huffs CCG: LET ME GET MY SHIT TOGETHER. CGC: 1 TH1NK TH4TS 4 V4L1D 3NOUGH R34SON CCA: ill havve you knoww that crimson soaked sack a lard has been provvokin ME if anythin CTT: Okay. CCG: ERIDAN. CCG: SHUT. CCG: UP. CCG: FOR ONCE. CCG: PLEASE. CHW: Fucking WHAT CCA: ok fine CTT: #shooshpap CCA: wwhat do i care any wway CCG: KANKRI. CCG: DON'T START. CGC: TH1S 1S 4 M3SS CCG: I'M TRYING TO MEDIATE HERE. CTT: #shooshpap CCG: LEMON GUY, FUCK OFF. CHW: I'm N9T starting it, HE DID CHW: # Excuse CURRENT turntechGodhead [CTG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CTG: "comfy place" my ass CTT: #SOOOooos- CCG: DAVE. CCG: HELP. CGC: YOU KNOW 1TS 4LL GON3 TO SH1T WH3N K4RK4T 1S TH3 ON3 TRY1NG TO M4K3 3V3RYON3 C4LM CCA: wwoah bro this is nothin if not flatterin but i dont think auspitizism is really the sorta establishment you should be sullyin yourself into at this moment no offense CTG: i wasn't even paying attention CTG: what's happening CCG: WAIT YOU'RE NOT THE DAVE I'M FAMILIAR WITH. I'M BLIND AND CAN'T READ HANDLES. CCG: ERIDAN I'LL KILL YOU. CTT: People being assholes CCA: uh CEB: it's, uh, chaotic. CHW: Please d9 CCA: wwoww CHW: WAIT CHW: D9NT CGG: the memo went crazy CCA: talk about straight forwward CHW: I d9nt want him in the 6u66les! CCG: I SWEAR I AM THIS CLOSE CCG: | | CCG: THAT CLOSE CCG: TO KICKING BOTH OF YOU. CCG: TEST ME. CHW: Karkat... CTT: I'm Dani terezi. Can ya use your like seer powers CCA: hmm CGC: H1T 1T F3RG13 CCA: wwell ok CCA: brb CHW: # p9uting CGC: D4N1 WHO CCG: CRY ABOUT IT, YOU LITTLE FUCK. CGC: WHO TH3 FUCK 1S YOU CTT: IM FROM EARTH C. CGC: 4H OK4Y CHW: I th9ught y9u cared a69ut me 9r s9mething.. I guess I was wr9ng. CGC: 1 KNOW SOM3ON3 C4LL3D D4N1 H4H4 CFL ceased responding to memo. CTT: Kankri. CCG: OH HERE WE FUCKING GO WITH THE GUILT TRIPPING. CEB: this is just what i needed to add a little spice to my afternoon. CCG: MARVELOUS. CTT: It's okay my boi CCG: THIS MEMO SINGLEHANDEDLY MANAGED TO KILL THE BRAIN CELLS I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE. CCA: hey im back CHW: # sulking CTT: Sometimes you gotta just go to sweater town CGG: :/ yeah, it's so crazy CEB: we just have -69 braincells now. CCG: KANKRI, I CARE MORE THAN ENOUGH ABOUT YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS MEMO FOR THAT MATTER, WHICH IS PRECISELY WHY I WANT YOU KNOCK THE BULLSHIT OFF AND STOP FIGHTING! CCG: I DON'T WANT ANYONE UPSET. CTT: #papshhosj CTT: Neither do i CCG: WELCOME BACK ERIDAN. CCG: OH FUCK GAMZEE IS ONLINE. CGC: C4N W3 JUST S4Y OK K4NKR1 YOU W3R3NT FOCUS1NG ON CRONUS TH3 T3XT W4S TOO H4RD TO R34D BUT TH4TS NO ON3S F4ULT CCA: thanks CTT: Let's back this up. CTG ceased responding to memo. CGC: 4ND 3R1D4N DONT G3T WORK3D UP OV3R K4NKR1 CHW: Thank y9u Terezi CGC: GOOD CCG: MY PURRBEAST IS STEPPING ONY M KEYYBOARD CCG: '; CCG: HELP. CTC: WhAt ThE MoThErFuCk Is EvEn HaPpEnInG. CGC: H4H4 CGC: TO MUCH TO B3 HON3ST CCG: GAMZEE DO YOU CARE IF I ADD ANOTHER GAMZEE TO THIS MEMO? THE MORE THE MERRIER, RIGHT? CCG: DOUBLE THE CLOWNERY? CGC: TW1C3 TH3 HONKS OH FUCK CTC: I DoNt CaRe. CTT: Okay. Mom Jade, of you remember hug me before I have a panic attack CGG: oh, gosh CHW: # deep 6reathing CCA: wworked up CCA: pshhh thats a fuckin laugh CCA: as if id let some detestable sack a ruddy text get me wworked up that foul no good pleb is hardly wworth steppin near my shadoww and at this point im findin all his petty references to my alternate to be nothin more than a salaicious display a utright denial CGC: WHY H4S TH1S 4LL GON3 TO SH1T -- CURRENT tidsopitmistTranquillity [CTT]  seriously more confused then my session made me -- CTT ceased responding to memo. CHW: # Karkat he's starting it again CGC: 1 D1DNT KNOWHOW TO WORD 1T OK4Y SH33SH CURRENT tidsopitmistTranquillity [CTT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CTT: Son of a bitch CTT: Better CGC: 3R1D4N JUST STOP OK4Y C4N W3 4GR33 TH4T 1T W4S NO ON3S F4ULT CTT: Can you see me now CCA: sure wwhat evver CTT: Am I less lemonade CGC: GOOD CCA: its not like i actually care about wwhat happens in this line a convversation anywway CCA: hes the one wwho started it CTT: Gucci CHW: # Watching y9u CGC: 4LR1GHTY CGC: OK4Y CEB: are you guys chill now? is that done? CTT: I guess. CEB: fantastic. CTT: But this hype train. CCA: wwhered kar go CGC: HOP3 SO CGG: i hope so, too CCG: NOWHERE. CTT: Oh fuc CCG: WHY? MISS ME? CCA: hey CTT: Shi CCG: HEY. CTT: Hey CHW: 9h- I think I just realized s9mething. # Lips l9cked tight CCG: HUH? CGC: WH4T CGC: T1GHT 4SSHOL3 CGC: H4H4 CHW: N9 n9, I d9n't want t9 start any drama. CCA: wwhy dont you lock your fingers tighter methinks theyre the ones causin all this repartee any wway CHW: I'll just, privately tr9ll karkat and tell him CCG: TELL ME IN DMS KANKRI. I'M YOUR DANCESTOR. CCG: OH. CCG: GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE. FUCK YEAH. CGC: HUH CEB: well now i'm curious. CGC: M3 TOO CCG: HEY IT'S ANOTHER GAMZEE. CCG: ONE I ACTUALLY AM FAMILIAR WITH. CGC: OH OK CTC: WeLcOmE BrOtHeR. CHW: Its s9mething that y9u all pr96a6ly c9uld have figured 9ut 9n y9ur 9wn, when thinking hard 9n what Amp9ras are very kn9wn f9r. CGC: SORRY 1F 1 S33M 4 B1T OFF CCG: OH GOD. PAST taciturnlyCataclysmal [PTC] 420 HOURS AGO responded to memo. PTC: HeLl yEaH, hOw'S It gOiNg? :o) CCG: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN THE PAST CGG: hi there! CCG: WHAT THE FUCK CHW: I'm sure if y9ur g99d at paying attenti9n the pieces will f9rm the wh9le puzzle f9r y9u t99 CGG: ok, that's weird CCG: ALSO, KANKRI, THAT THING YOU JUST MESSAGED ME? WACK. CCA: soon enough ill be knowwn for slittin your detestable carcass ovver my owwn personal grubloaf bun if you dont keep my name from your ovverbitten mouth mutant CCG: I DON'T KNOW IF I BELIEVE IT. CHW: True th9ugh CCA: howw about that CCG: ERIDAN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? CCG: WHO IS THAT DIRECTED AT? CCG: I'M SO LOST. CGC: STOOOOP CHW: Thats at me CHW: Karkat CCA: kankri a course wwho else CCG: GAMZEE. HELP ME. CCG: PLEASE. CHW: he is attacking me CHW: again CHW: 6ut # I started it CHW: # r9lls eyes CGG: this is already too much... CGG: :/ CHW: # have t9 tell y9u im r9lling my eyes 6ecause, N9 pupils 6ut whatever CCG: OK, YOU KNOW WHAT? CHW: # Amp9ra is a castest prick CTC: CaN I HaVe ThE HeAdS ErIdAn BrO? CCG banned CCA from responding to memo: [TIME OUT.]. CCG banned CHW from responding to memo: [TIME OUT.]. CHW RIGHT NOW opened memo on board GGS COMFY PLACE.

---- Was kicked for time out ----

CHW RIGHT NOW opened memo on board GGS COMFY PLACE. CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CCG: OH GOD. CURRENT gardenGnostic104 [CGG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CGG: oh, again? CHW: # Excuse y9u PAST taciturnlyCataclysmal [PTC] 420 HOURS AGO responded to memo. PTC: So wHaT ThE MoThErFuCk'S ThIs mEmO AlL AbOuT? CCG: I SWEAR IF YOU TWO GO BACK AT IT I'LL FUCKING BAN YOU BOTH PERMANENTLY. CURRENT gallowsCalibratorr [CGC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CGC: NO 1D34 CCG: WE'RE UH CCG: BONDING. CHW: He was the 9ne wh9 threatened t9 slit my thr9at CURRENT caligulasAquarium [CCA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CCA: no wworries CCG: GROUP BONDING TIME. CCA: i wwas just leavvin any wway CURRENT tidsopitmistTranquillity [CTT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CTT: The other kids are coming CCG: KANKRI SHUT UP. STOP DRAGGING IT ON. CTT: Yeet CCG: I'LL SCOLD HIM LATER. CGG: sorry, i meant to make this for fun stuff, but it went crazy over time CHW: Y9ud 6etter CCG: YOU TWO ARE LIKE FUCKING WRIGGLERS I SWEAR. CCA ceased responding to memo. CCG: I'M LOSING MY MIND. PTC: WeLl i gUeSs tHaT'S AlL GoOd, sHiT TeNdS To uP AnD GeT AlL FuCkIn cRaZy sOmEtImEs. CTT ceased responding to memo. CURRENT terminallyCapricious [CTC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CTC: HoNk :O) PTC: HoNk CTC: HoNk PTC: HoNk CCG: HONK. CGC: OH NO CTC: HoNk CURRENT ectoBiologists [CEB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CEB: oh jesus CCG: HONK. PTC: HoNk CGC: STOP CURRENT theJaceofspades [CTJ] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CTJ: Haha I just broke into my sister's computer CTC: HoNk CGC: FUCK CCG: HONK. PTC: HoNk CHW: (( i didnt know it actually made the noise if you typed honk oh fuck that startled me xDD )) CTC: HoNk. CCG: HONK. CGC: HONK CTJ: Oh shit CCG: HONK. CHW: h9nk CHW: 9h CGC: 1T D1DNT WORK CTJ: ((shit man)) CEB: hehehe. CHW: quirks n9t all9wed CCG: THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS WHENEVER I GET IN A MEMO. CCG: EVERYONE STARTS HONKING. CGC: H4H4 CTJ: Oh CCG: IT HAPPENED IN FUCK BUCKETS TOO. I STILL FEEL BAD FOR JOHN. CCG: I ALSO FEEL BAD FOR EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT I MEAN BY FUCK BUCKETS. PTC: EvErYoNe aLl kNoWs yOuR FuCkIn mEaNiNg bEhInD ThAt. CTJ: I'm going to get a worshipper of the dark carnival CCG: NO. CCG: GAMZEE. CTJ: Then honk everyday bro CCG: IT WAS THE NAME OF A MEMO WE HAD ONCE. CTJ: I will do it PTC: HoNk CCG: I'M GOING TO FUCKING SLAM MY FACE INTO MY KEYBOARD. CTC: ThAt WaS A GrEaT MeMo. CTJ: I'm going to get her CGC: 1M GO1NG TO L1ST3N TO 4 SONG CEB: i know i was there, but what happened to be in fuckbuckets? PTC: HaHaHaHa, dOn'T Be dOiNg tHaT BeSt fRiEnD. jUsT GeT YoUr cHiLlS GoInG StRoNg. CTC: UnTiLl YoU MoThErFuCkInG KiCkEd Me. CGC: WH3N 1 COM3 B4CK HOP3FULLY 4LL 1S B3TT3R CHW: If y9u d9, may6e, y9u can visit Karkat? CTJ: I know. CCG: I KICKED YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE ABOUT TO EXPOSE ME, GAMZEE. CTJ: Wait CCG: ALSO. CCG: YEAH KANKRI. CCG: ALSO. CTC: EvErY OnE KnOwS. CTJ: If kankri has a Chum handle now CCG: TO THE OTHER GAMZEE. CCG: YEAH OK. CTJ: Then that means. CTJ: O. CCG: OH MY GOD. CTJ: Fuc CHW: ? CCG: GAMZEE I SWEAR I'LL KICK YOU FROM THIS MEMO TOO. CHW: It means I d9wnl9aded the alternian tr9llian CCG: CURRENT GAMZEE. CTJ ceased responding to memo. CCG: I CAN'T FUCKING WRAP MY HEAD AROUND THERE BEING TWO GAMZEES. THIS WAS A MISTAKE. PTC: AwWw dOn'T Be fUcKiN ThReAtEnInG A BrO. CCG: ONE OF YOU HAS TO GO. ANY VOLUNTEERS? CCG: NOT YOU! CCG: I'M THREATENING TO KICK THE OTHER GAMZEE. PTC: I'M KnOwInG, kArBrO. CURRENT stitchedSilence [CSS] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CSS: :o€ CCG: AAAAA MY THINKPAN IS ACHING. CCG: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT EMOJI. CTC: NaH Im MoThErFuCkInG GoOd RiGhT HeRe. CCG: THEN. CCG: SHUT UP. CHW: C:6 CTC: HoNk BrO Is ChIlL. CCG: AND WE CAN ALL LIVE HAPPILY. CCG: WITH KARKAT'S SECRETS HIDDEN. CCG: OKAY? CHW: I mistyped CURRENT turntechDumbass [CTD] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CTD: jade was right this is whack CSS: WHAT THE FUCK. IS HONKING UP IN THIS BITCH CCG: HONK. CHW: I saw 'kurl9z' and meant t9 type D:6 CTC: HoNk. CCG: OH FUCK IT'S DAVE. CCG: HONK. CTD: oh fuck its karkat CGG: honk CCG: GET OUT. CTC: HoNk. CSS: HONK! CTD: what no i just got here CSS: :o) CTD: bitch CCG: BITCH. CSS: #signlanguage

---- My computer glitched so it closed ----

CHW RIGHT NOW opened memo on board GGS COMFY PLACE. CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CCG: UH. CURRENT terminallyCapricious [CTC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CTC: HoNk. CCG: LIKE WHO? CURRENT stitchedSilence [CSS] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CSS: :o) CSS: :o) CSS: ? CHW: My c9mputer decided that it wasn't happy, s9 it cl9sed. CURRENT gallowsCalibratorr [CGC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CGC: OK GUYS 1M H4V1NG 4 P4N1C 4TT4CK TH1S 1S SO STR3SSFUL  BY3 CCG: OH SHIT. CSS: SO IS MY MOUTH CSS: Closed CSS: SHUT. CHW: D:6 CCG: IS THAT FUCKING KURLOZ I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION CCG: I'M SO LOST. PAST taciturnlyCataclysmal [PTC] 420 HOURS AGO responded to memo. PTC: SeE Ya, fUcKiN BlInD AsS BiTcH. CHW: yes, thats Kurl9z... CHW: # shivers CCG: EW. CSS: Yeah tell me about it. CCG: WHO INVITED HIM HERE? CHW: N9t me CURRENT turntechDumbass [CTD] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CTD: god damn. CCG: NOT ME EITHER. CTD: trolls are whack CHW: I w9uld prefer t9 keep my distance fr9m any murder9us cl9wns CCG: YOU'RE WHACK. CCG: BAD WHACK. CCG: HEY. CSS: So are clowns :o) CHW: # After all, it feels t9 much like my culler... CTD: im the best whack CCG: GAMZEE IS RIGHT THERE. CCG: DON'T BE INSENSITIVE. CHW: I said murder9us CGC ceased responding to memo. CCG: YEAH? CHW: I think thats fair CCG: DID I STUTTER? CCG: ANYWAY. PTC: HaHaH. CURRENT gardenGnostic104 [CGG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CGG:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tL-AVkOgO-k CHW: I think its fair t9 n9t want t9 6e near murderers CSS: Hey. Chill bros CTC: :O) CCG: WHY IS THE FUCKING O CCG: A CAPITAL? CCG: I HATE THAT. CHW: If meenah were in here, I'd 6e nerv9us a69ut that t99 CCG: FIX YOUR FUCKING EMOJI. CTC: My QuIrK Is GeTtInG In ThE MtHeRfUcKiNg WaY. PTC: WiSh i cOuLd bE KnOwInG. CHW: # pr96a6ly nerv9us ar9und any 9f my 'friends' that aren't p9rrim 9r latula. PTC: :o) PTC: :o) CCG: JUST FUCKING CSS: :o) CTC:  :O) CCG: CONVERT :O TO :o PTC: HoNk CCG: PROBLEM SOLVED. CSS: Meulin is having otp cardiac arrest CCG: WHAT. CTD: the comfy place has turned into clown church CSS: I GOT TO GO HELP A BITCH CHW: 9ver which c9uple? CCG: FEAR. CSS: EH. CGG: oh, ss, you reminded me of something CCG: YEAH WHICH COUPLE? CSS: ERIDAN AND SOLLUX CCG: OH GOD. CTD: oh shit CSS: #SHIVERS CHW: # unc9mf9rta6le CSS: I got her into to much black shi CSS: Shit. CTC: :o) CGG:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ0HdydxuDo CHW: # 6etter them than s9me9ne else th9ugh CCG: MY PURRBEAST IS TICKLING MY NECK WITH HIS WHISKERHESHHSHDK CSS: It's personally my fault CCG: HHKJHGF CSS: Forgive me. CCG: I'M HAVING HEART FAILURE. CTD: tell your cat hes fucking cute as hell CSS: Ah. CCG: NO. CHW: Kurl9z, please, leave the 6lack stuff t9 y9u, she, already has s9 much 9n her plate with red r9m ships # l9l CSS: Hold on CTD: please he needs to know CSS: #l:ol CCG: HE'S A LITTLE BASTARD. CCG: KIND OF LIKE YOU. CSS: hold on. CTD: im only partially a bastard but still let him know CSS: What the ever loving motherfuck. CCG: EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THIS MEMO SUCKS EXCEPT FOR PAST GAMZEE. CSS: SHIT MY WRIGGLER IS HONKING MY HORN PILE CHW: # 9uch CSS: So proud CSS: #crie CURRENT ectoBiologists [CEB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CEB: i have done nothing to deserve this! CCG: YOU EXISTED. CSS: #:o€ CSS: Neither have i CHW: # D9u6le 9uch CEB: damn, guess i'll stop existing. CGG: :( CCG: PLEASE DO. CSS: She grew up so fast CCG: KARKAT STOP BEING AN ASSHAT. CGG: please don't say that :( CSS: Karkat what be your problems CEB: :'B CSS: You need to chill before CHW: Karkat? Y9u just t9ld y9urself t9 st9p, are y9u 9kay? CCG: SORRY. CCG: YES. CCG: I'M FINE. CSS: #hedosomthing:o( CCG: I JUST REALIZED I WAS BEING A DICK. CHW: # C9ncerned Dancest9r CSS: Yeah. CCG: WAIT KANKRI CSS: #shooshpapthatfucker CCG: I HAVE TO ASK YOU SOMETHING. CHW: yes? CSS: Gamzee have you passed out CCG: GO TO DMS FOR A SEC. CSS: :o? CTC: No. CSS: God CSS: God. CSS: Meulin freaking son of- CSS ceased responding to memo. CCG: WHERE'D PAST GAMZEE GO? CTC: YoU MeAn ThE MeSsIaHs? PTC: :o) CCG: THERE HE IS. CTC: ThE ReAl MeSsIaHs. CCG: COMFORT ME. THIS MEMO IS GIVING ME CARDIAC ARREST. CTC: NoT ThE FaKe MeSsIaHs. PTC: YoU'Re fUcKiN SPECIAL YOU MOTHERFUCKIN mOtHeRfUcKeR. CURRENT cardiacOtps [CCO] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CCO: 333333333333333!<3 PTC: YoU'Ve gOt tHe gReAtEsT Of fUcKiN SeLvEs iN YoU. :o) CCO: Inpuring! CTD: that wisdom CHW: I can certainly say that I am successfully triggered 6y t9days mem9 and events. CTD: i felt that shit PTC: Go fUcK YoUrSeLf, oThEr kArKaT. PTC: :o) PTC: HoNk hOnK CHW: Might even need t9 g9 talk t9 P9rrim CCO: Wow! CTC: :o) CHW: ...? w-why? CCO: Your just like kurlos CHW: # Fine. I'll leave CHW ceased responding to memo. PTC: GoOd sHiT. CCO: When he was a kid

---- I left because I didn’t want to start another fight ----

[awfully-sadistic]

Languages.

Because I don’t feel like writing a prompt today doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try writing at all. I actually thought of this as I fell asleep. I’m just... relieved I remembered. Going to switch up my On The Spot tags so I’m not spoiling who the fuck I’m writing for, that’s why they’re under the tag in the first place.

“What are you doing, Sergei?” Dot laughed, amused. “I know you’re not an entire mute.”

Sergei Dragunov’s hands moved; she knew them to be rough and callous at the fingertips. They were large enough to cup her entire face in the palm of his hand, but surprisingly warm sometimes. That must be because he always had them in his gloves. He was signing to her and for some reason, refusing to talk. Their mind link was always an option but there was a deliberate reason he was doing what he was doing.

“What’s he saying?” There was no mistaking the annoyance in Bennett’s tone as he lowered his head and nearly growled in Dot’s ear. Bennett Graves was a very big person in everything, it seemed. Personality, height, build, and attitude. He clearly did not like the fact he was kept out of the loop by Sergei’s swift signing. He didn’t know sign language!

The three of them sat together this morning; Bennett was always attached to Dot in some way as the overprotective father and Daddy to three pups and His very special little girl. And since the pups, he’s only seemed to have gotten worse in terms of his jealousies and possessiveness. The youngest of two elder brothers, the one of which is his very own twin, he was the baby. He was used to getting away with a lot because Aiden never really pulled his ass in line when they were younger and why shouldn’t he had? There was no real reason to curb the destructive path all three brothers were bound. At least, not until a few years ago. Now Bennett found it hard to be his “normal” self breaking old and hurtful habits to trade them in for gentler hands, kinder words because he wanted to know how to be with Dot without seriously hurting her in any way. He was getting used to the fact that he’s not the center of everything. Dot was. But that was more than okay with him and Bennett was content to tell every-fucking-body who listened the same thing. She and the pups were his whole world and he stubbornly, protectively, and possessively held on to his whole world with both hands.

“Tell him it’s none of his business.”

Dot laughed again. “He says it’s none of your business.”

Bennett’s golden gaze snapped to cold, uncaring blue ones. “Why the fuck can’t he tell me that himself?”

“Yeah, why can’t you, Sergei?” Dot grinned.

Sergei’s hands paused and Dot thought she imagined his expression getting harder. If that were anymore possible. Finally, he signed, “It’s a conversation between you and I.”

“Well, that’s true.” Dot admitted.

“...What did he say?” Bennett repeated, moments away from spitting the next thing through his razor sharp teeth.

“He said it’s a--” Sergei signed again and the movement caught out of the corner of her eye.

“Don’t tell him a thing.”

“I don’t know how you managed to make that sound demanding through your hands...” Dot muttered before looking hopelessly at Bennett. “Sorry, Daddy. But i can’t tell You anything.”

“That’s bullshit!” Bennett shouted, nearly jostling Dot as he stood to his feet. Bennett was always a step away from a aggressive punch in the face and it looked like Sergei was managing to hit all the right buttons -- all without saying a word.

Somewhat.

“Perhaps he should have picked up the habit of signing. Didn’t he say he was going to learn?”

“...Yeah,” Dot said, turning from Sergei’s hands to Bennett again. “Didn’t You say You were going to learn how to sign from Lu?”

Bennett blinked and almost immediately, the flame was snuffed out as the subject caused him to think for a moment. He sat down as he asked, “Lu? Yeah. I could have asked him. But then he said somethin’ stupid and I got mad. So, we don’t like Lu right now and I’m definitely not learnin’ anything from him.”

While Dot would agree that her brothers were stupid, Bennett was more likely to get pissed off by something Luvon said that happened to be an observation he pointed out and it wouldn’t entirely be off the mark. But she didn’t say anything after that, she only reached over and gave her Daddy a comforting pat on the knee. However, Sergei was a lot more open to the idea.

“I like Luvon.”

Dot laughed. “Yeah, well, you would.”

“He would, what?” Bennett asked, a little prickly.

“He said he liked Lu.”

Bennett snorted, “babygirl is right. You fuckin’ would.”

“I like Benedict, too.”

“Aww,” Dot sighed, placing her hands over her heart, happy to hear about Benedict in any capacity. But then she paused as she thought over that group of selective men. “Yeah. I bet the three of you get along really well.”

“I don’t need to know sign language to know his ass lumped Bene in there, too, huh?”

“Wow, Daddy, you really didn’t!”

“He’s not as dumb as he looks.”

Dot hadn’t meant to laugh. It was just such a blunt statement and it had taken her off-guard.

“...What?” Bennett asked.

“N-Nothing, Daddy. He asked how Benedict was doing.”

“That is not what I asked, little fibbing girl.”

Dot ignored that particular phrased sign. Bennett was already talking which spared her from looking Sergei in the face to see the matching expression.

“How should I know? The three of y’all hang out so much, it’s annoyin’. Shouldn’t you feel him in your dick or something?”

“I take back what I said about him not being as dumb as he looks.”

Dot breathed in deeply through her nose. “No, Daddy, that’s You and Cavon.”

“...Is that what he said?”

“That’s what i’m saying!”

“Oh. Then you’d be right.”

“We exchange messages through our phones like normal people.”

Dot laughed again and Bennett immediately looked suspicious.

“I really don’t like that I can’t fuckin’ understand him.”

“He just said they exchange texts. Like normal people.”

Bennett’s closed fist came down upon the coffee table in front of them. “THAT JUST MAKES ME AND BRO-BRO SPECIAL. SUCK THAT, YA DEAD LOOKIN’ BASTARD!”

“Daddy, that’s not very nice...” Dot scolded gently, turning to look over at Sergei. He wasn’t signing anymore. But his face certainly didn’t look too bothered. He was regarding Bennett the exact way Benedict or Luvon would -- almost with boredom and he’d let Bennett throw his fit, to let him do all the work of making himself look ridiculous, and getting mad all by himself.

And Bennett caught on.

“GODDAMN IT, THEY DO GET ALONG STUPIDLY WELL!” He threw his hands up, standing. Not as a means to throw a punch at Sergei but he was starting to walk out.

“Where are you going?!” Dot laughed.

“I’M NOT TAKING LESSONS FROM LUVON!” Bennett huffed and growled over his shoulder, “I’M GOING TO FIND YOUR GODDAMN APES AND HAVE THEM TEACH ME!”

“Makes sense he would understand an ape better than any of us.”

“DON’T TELL ME WHAT HE SAID!” Bennett shouted, noting that Sergei had been signing again. He paused before he reached the door, pointing at the both of them. “I’m going to learn my own damn self and then kick his ass for talking shit! BECAUSE I KNOW HE’S TALKIN’ SHIT!”

Dot was laughing into her hands, trying her best to compose herself but the image of Bennett sitting in the middle of all that misty jungle, shirt off, trying to learn sign language with the giant apes was something that kept popping in her head. “Daddy, please, come back.”

“I’M ON A MISSION, BABYGIRL!” Bennett shouted, shutting the door behind him. “I”LL COME BACK WHEN I’M READY!” came his muffled reply before his stomping boots faded down the hall.

“I could have taught you myself!” Dot shouted but Bennett was out of earshot and she knew this because his ass would have come running back, sounding like a rhino. Finally settled back in her seat, she turned to Sergei with a hand lifted towards the door. “Look at what you did.”

Sergei turned her face her again from that uninterested gaze he had kept on Bennett to a softened expression only reserved for Dot. The corner of his scarred lip was faintly tugged upwards in a ghost of a smirk. He didn’t say anything after that but the look on his face said it for him. 

He was entirely proud of running Bennett away to spend the rest of this quiet time with Dot where he can finally put his hands to good use on something, no, someone else.

And Dot realized this way too late as he scooped her up.

[maxhoemo]

High School Blues 2 of 2

Ian squinted through his thick glasses, struggling to see as he drove his rusted old Chevy van home from school. It was raining bullets, each drop making a loud ping as it hit his car. Thunder roared in the distance. Despite his lowly status at school, he could take solace in the fact that he wasn’t one of the losers walking home in this. He smirked, watching his classmates. One, with his backpack held over his head in a makeshift umbrella, dodging puddles and shivering. Only, that kid was no loser.... He realized in only a moments time, that kid was Max. Ian found it quite surprising, and rather odd, that such a popular and well liked kid wouldn’t have a ride home in the storm.

Normally, he would be too terrified to approach him, but the normal barrage of bad outcomes that usually stopped him were nowhere to be found. Leaning over to roll down his manual window, Ian pulled up beside his classmate. “Hey!” he called. “Do you want a ride!?”

Max looked up, obviously surprised at who was offering, but was quick to answer. “Yeah...”

Ian tried to keep his eyes on the road as Max settled into the passengers seat. Shaking water droplets from his mop of hair and running a hand through it. It wasn’t easy, Ian was sure there was no situation in which Max wouldn’t look beautiful. “I-I hope it’s not weird...” he finally spoke, trying to find his words. “I just.... Thought you looked like you were struggling...”

“I was,” Max laughed. “You’re Ian, right?”

Ian blinked a couple times before letting out a “Y-yeah...”

“We have Language Arts together,” Max grinned over at the other boy. “You’re so funny in class!”

“Really?” Ian smiled to himself. He couldn’t believe Max knew who he was, let alone that he found him funny. 

“Fuck yeah, dude! That one time, when Mr. Duval made you face the back of the class and when he tried talkin’ to ya’, you acted like you thought it was the pencil sharpener. Oh my god, I still remember that!”

“Wow...” Ian laughed a little at the memory himself. One of his more juvenile stunts but it just seemed perfect in the moment. “I didn’t think anybody remembered my jokes or anything.”

“No, dude. You are really funny. My parents always ask me what happened at school, I’ve told them so many of your bits and shit from class. When we had to brainstorm historical heroes and you said Spiderman. Fuck, I busted a gut.”

“More like bust a nut,” Ian replied automatically. Max couldn’t help but chortle at the childish remark. They were soon interrupted however by the ring of Max’s phone. He looked down at the caller ID and immediately shut the ringer off. 

“Ugh... Craig. I’m not answering that cunt...”

“What? Isn’t that guy, like, your best friend?”

“No! Why would you think that!?”

“Well... It’s just... I always see you hanging around him at school...”

“No, I don’t like him. He’s an asshole. He’s just friends with my other friends. Or at least, I used to think that. After today, I’m pretty sure they’re all assholes.”

“What do you mean? What happened?”

Max didn’t answer, instead he turned his gaze out the window. Ian didn’t press on, driving in silence. He was lucky enough Max talked to him as much as he did, anyways. A few minutes passed, though, and Max turned back to Ian. “You seem cool, Ian. You won’t judge me, right?”

“No. Of course not!”

“Well... This might make me seem stupid, but.... Okay. So, you know that kid Leonard?”

“Yeah...” Basketball star, Leonard Simcoe. Of course he knew him. He was practically all that school talked about.

“Well... Basically.... Me and him have been meeting up for the past few weeks after school and fucking in his car.”

Oh God. Ian knew exactly where this was going.... 

“So, I thought he’d like, ask me to the dance, you know?” Ian nodded, though in reality he wondered how Max could have possibly thought this. Everyone knew Leonard Simcoe was going with Christie McLean, captain of the volleyball team. They were the classic high school sweethearts. “Well...” Max went on, clearly not finding the story all that easy to tell, “I figured, maybe he was waiting for me to ask.... So I did.... And....” He turned away, tears starting to prick his eyes.

“What happened?” Ian asked, knowing full well what did. 

“He told me....” he swallowed, fighting through his tightening throat. “He said he would never take me to a dance! H-he told me I was just a good fuck. He said the only reason anyone hung out with me was because I was a sure thing whenever someone needed it!” He was really starting to sob now.

Ian was shocked. He had never seen Max so upset. But he didn’t understand how Max could have been so blind to the guys true intentions. Of course, he would never say that. “That’s awful.... I’m sure that’s not true...”

Max shook his head. “It is true.... I thought we were just having fun. But they don’t have any respect for me. Everyone just treats me like a sex toy, like I don’t even have any feelings! I’m only good to suck their dick or lick their pussy when they feel like it! But i’m not worth anything else! I feel so gross....”

“You shouldn’t feel gross, I mean...”

“I feel gross cause I let everyone manipulate me and trick me.... How would you feel if you had fucked seven people you despised? Like, I’m so dumb sometimes....”

Ian wasn’t sure what to say. He had never been in a situation similar. He’d never even kissed anyone or been on a date. “You aren’t dumb.... You just.... Assume the best of people....”

Max just rolled his eyes. Same thing in his mind. “I’m sorry I’m dumping my problems on you.....”

“No, no.I don’t mind listening, man.”

“Promise you won’t tell anyone I was crying? So embarrassing....”

“No, I won’t tell anyone.”

“At least... I think I was right about you.... I always thought you seemed cool, and i think you are.”

“Thanks... It’s really fucked up... Like, I always thought you were cool too. I don’t know how anyone could say that shit to you....”

“Yeah.... Just turn up here....” Ian did as he was instructed, following Max’s directions up to his house. “Yeah, this one with the blue trim....”

“Umm... Hey.... Before you go, I-I was just wondering... I mean, if you still wanted to go to the dance.... I-I would love to take you if...”

Max smiled warmly back at Ian. “That’s really sweet.... But... I really don’t want to. Everyone’s gonna be there, you know?”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t want to either. But, we could like, just hang out that night? Maybe?”

“Sure. I think that’d be nice. You’re a legit dude, Ian.”

[dekumidoriyall]

despite some ykw talk, this is gonna be a mostly about my faith tbh.

This asshat. how convenient that he mentions his FOREARMS, lest we forget about a previous post... Continuing on.

Same old same old EXCEPT THIS TIME Instead of just our usual surface laughs and elementary knee touches, we actually had a lot of insightful conversation. Like I felt I got to know who he is and his values a bit better what makes him who he is. AND YA know your girl is an even bigger sucker for character than she is for forearms.

So roll your eyes twenty times for me please. Bc I went in there like "HEY GIRL, I know he's hot and cute and funny so just don't fall more " you know, a little mental prep so I'm unfazed. BUT GUESS WHAT. The universe or whatever is in charge of making my life a little more complicated was like "well guess what? We're gonna bring out the big guns (not AJs biceps, which look great too btw but damn those forearms. LORD HELP ME. And I do mean it, like Jesus please) we're gonna let aj open up a bit more and yall are gonna get along so fuckin well" AND GUESS WHAT. We did. I was just like HA THIS GUY IS GREAT AND literally EVERYTHING I was asking for.... Before I fell in love with God.

Because now I gotta get MYSELF straight first off. Because I've been asking for the right person instead of BECOMING the right person. So lately it's like well whoever God has planned for me is probs pretty great, so I gotta be great too. Bc let's be honest, I want a dope ass fuckin family. I want a hot husband and cute kids and make fresh squeezed fuckin orange juice and have a nice lil deck with a dog or two or three. BUT THATS like down the line so right now I'm focused on becoming the version of me that God has called me to be.

But not gonna lie aj looked so comfy I literally just wanted to doze off on his shoulder. And I love having him in my life you know. So even as friends, I feel good hanging with him. He gives a lot of good insight, is someone I can be myself with, and ya know is a general cutie pie in general. But he also helps make me a better person (I won't tell him this bc it'll only boost his ego) but I'm like damn that mofo doesn't take failure as an option at all. But it's so inspiring! In a way bc he works hard. You can't tell him shit bc he does it all on his own. And I like that. I used to wanna be that way

And in a way I still do. But i always wanna give glory to God you know. I want to ask help from God. In my daily life. I want THAT relationship [with God] more than anything. And I kinda now want that in a guy tbh, someone who will not only motivate me in my world pursuits like my physical goals or my career goals, but someone who will encourage me to uplift my spirit. And if I want a guy like that, I gotta be a girl like that too you know. Give and take baby. So I gotta start becoming the frequency and vibration that I want to attract.

Don't get me wrong, my feelings are still what I've said. Maybe not blatantly but you all know. I just also know that (from past experience) God provides more than I need. And that he makes all things work together for good.

Like kyle for instance, the third (the last) time more specifically. I didn't wanna go through that. I specifically prayed GOD please don't let him come into my life to just wreck it again. did God put him there or did the enemy? WHO knows but what I do know is there was a lot of pain and shit and I didn't necessarILY think I needed to go through That but God was like "look jazz I know YOU don't understand why this is happening to you but I gotchu, don't worry. Your pain ain't permanent " AND what should have wrecked me, changed my life completely. I can 100% say after that last annoying fucking time, it taught me so much (that apparently the three years prior didn't >.>) and I just grew a lot after that. Mentally, spiritually, and physically.

So even when I don't understand "why", I have to keep moving and working and getting to know Him so that he can continue to bless me. I pray to God that I don't lose my fire for him this time. But it feels different it's not just a fire that leaves me as soon as I close my Bible or leave church. It's constant lately. Not always like holy spirit hot (bc boy I've been there and sweat through my shirt) but like a pot set on simmer. And not just fire but a wholeness, and this Love. I've never I guess fully understood His Love for me bc you know people are always telling you "God loves you" and it's like yeah I get it you bought it at hobby lobby it's on your wall I get it.

BUT I DID NOT.

Now I do get it, and am truly starting to understand when everyone is like "his love is true and all-encompassing.." Yada Yada. Like you hear that shit all the fuckin time and not gonna lie sometimes Im like ok what is that gonna do for me... Oh young naive me. EVERYTHING. Wow. You have no need for anyone else with him. But god is so nice he's like "look I know I'm the best friend you'll ever need but here are some asshats and knuckle heads to keep ya company. And he loves me SO MUCH that he's like "I also wanna make you grow as a person so here are a few challenges along the way not meant to hurt you but to grow you" so all these fuckin obstacles there are, God sent or hell sent or because of my own stupidity sent. I'm gonna be like BRING IT ON. I'm not worried so much anymore. I could literally go on.

Anyway, all I'm saying is if aj actually didn't stop whatever we were doing to focus on him and stuff, which of course sucked emotionally for me, i wouldnt have had the chance to, one, focus on myself bc I'd be so focused on him. 2, wouldn't have reached back out to God. And 3, truly enjoyed building a good friendship with aj. AM I scared that we might be teetering into the friendzone category? Am I worried that that's all it'll ever be? HELL FUCKING YES. I'M TERRIFIED AS HELL WHAT TF U TALKIN BOUT. I like that dude so fucking much it makes mad sometimes. BUT! Instead of anxiety or any of that negative shit, God's replaced it with a nonchalant "don't worry I got it" and listen. It's like when your super lucky (usually stoned) friend who you don't quite know how they get away with shit or get anything done right ever were to tell you this. You never know just quite how things are going to work out until they surprisingly do at the very end. But the whole time you're like ALRIGHT this isn't looking how I wanted it to. But then it comes out better and you got a few extra dollars to spend on snacks. So Idk HOW it'll work out and maybe it won't be the way I planned or wanted it to, but I have faith it'll be better. But you can't just reap a reward you haven't put in work for.

So it all comes back to focusing on me, which is easy bc the boy i like maybe probably has feelings for me and it doesn't change anything. And this is literally probably the only position God could have put me in for me to finally get all my shit together and get back to Him. So tbh its working to be good so far. :)

[caepaecaesurae]

> Cae + RL : Talk for literally 6000+ goddamn words

caepaecaesurae Sawv you mention on a post somewvhere, something about wvoes wvith monogamous quadrants carnivalsoration yeah. mostly huntress, but a bit of residual annoyance from lilac and i love wicked but like... feel a little like i can't do nothin that even implies pale leanin with anyone else without him feelin sad carnivalsoration why?

caepaecaesurae Been there before.  I tend to be fairly open about wvhere I and my quadrants spend our time, and it comes into conflict wvhen others are not Seldom fun, though mine are thankfully relaxed about these things at the moment It's alwvays hard to assess wvhere a particular person's rules and boundaries lay carnivalsoration it just sucks cuz lil's a pale slut and every time we have a talk bout relationships he perceives it as pale unless i'm talkin bout huntress specifically and he flips like a motherfucker when i'm just talkin and like.... am i supposed ta feel bad about that? should i try ta stop that? ain't like he can control how he feels... and then fuckin /huntress/ had ta be coaxed into thinkin me havin my own top leaf wasn't cheatin carnivalsoration ... i gotta be honest you probably know how sugary'd react ta me wantin another flush better than i do caepaecaesurae To be honest, it probably depends on howv you choose to phrase it caepaecaesurae I think the key part to keeping her happy is letting her be First(tm), and havwe there be a wvay in wvhich she is definitely wvinning carnivalsoration wow last time i tried that i was worried she would stab me the whole time caepaecaesurae Did she? carnivalsoration and i still feel like i escaped maiming by a hair nah caepaecaesurae Non-consensually? carnivalsoration nah chill your roll i wouldn't hide it if she did that shit don't fly caepaecaesurae Emotional convwersations wvith her can be hard, I'm fairly sure.  I generally avwoid them carnivalsoration i told her i don't love her romantically caepaecaesurae That sounds like it wvould complicate polyamory quite a bit carnivalsoration yeah 'hey can i date someone who i also don't love romantically' 'no they're not replacin you. i just like em. they're neat.' i think i mostly escaped cuz she didn't understand what the fuck i was talkin about she just thought i was bein stupid and nitpicky caepaecaesurae I think in that situation, I'd just call all newv interests lovwers, let her retain the 'official matesprit' title, and let the others knowv that potential jealousy is the only thing keeping them from advwancing further Rather, keeping the wvords I use to refer to them from advwancing further ... It's fairly likely that she doesn't completely understand emotional love as a concept, directly. carnivalsoration so matesprits in everythin but name caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration not a bad idea caepaecaesurae If you wvant her to understand, vwisit her wvhile she's like this.  She can feel lovwe. Until she and Lurky swvap back carnivalsoration ... it makes me uncomfortable caepaecaesurae Fair carnivalsoration lurky already makes me uncomfortable but this is a step beyond not even the Love feedin thing, just... she's hair caepaecaesurae Does it help any if I say she's surprisingly laid back about potentially serious conflicts, if evweryone invwolvwed just decides to be calm about it? carnivalsoration and taffy caepaecaesurae Not into tentacles then? carnivalsoration mood nope i like things with faces caepaecaesurae I'm sure she could imitate a fewv, possibly sevweral at a time, and that it wvould be vwery upsetting. carnivalsoration i only like one kinda tentacle and there's gotta be a body attached wow no caepaecaesurae WVell, there is a body attached Technically hers carnivalsoration you're killin me here brother caepaecaesurae ... I should stop teasing, I'm sorry. carnivalsoration don't worry you were a few shades shy of real discomfort caepaecaesurae I'm glad I think it's best, during this anon, to just.. regard them as non-sexual beings.  VWoice-chatting wvith her, vwia a ... relay, I suppose, that's physically attached to her normal body. carnivalsoration i mean. me and sugar already don't usually have sex caepaecaesurae She's there, she can be spoken to.  So can Lurky.  Lurky mainly likes petting carpet. carnivalsoration weird..... caepaecaesurae If you evwer wvanted to get pictures of Sugary doing remarkably silly things, or just to wvitness her body doing it, it's a grand opportunity They'vwe discovwered the concept of laughter, and enjoy evwery chance to do it. It's a little charming carnivalsoration i can accept so damn much about tumblr god game nonsense but this is still a step beyond what i got the tools ta deal with ... that's kinda cute but also a horrorterror so thats still weird like. whole thing. super odd fuckin cursed (you can tiptoe around the god thing) caepaecaesurae I'm sorry the multivwerse is so unrelentingly much carnivalsoration thanks like. body switching... the fuck. caepaecaesurae I'm glad that univwerses protect people from most of this sort of thing, most of the time. carnivalsoration i can contextualize a lotta other shit but like. how do you contextualize your body not being yours or someones face bein someone else caepaecaesurae Reminds me of mindscourges and vwoodoo a bit. carnivalsoration from the outside but i don't inhabit a body if i take control of it it's grabbin strings, not hhhh okay yeah subject change caepaecaesurae I can't think of any metaphors less upsetting, so aye carnivalsoration it's just gettin to me the same way parasites do carnivalsoration not as much. but in a similar way anyway. thanks for advice with sugar caepaecaesurae She adores you, and the fond regard you share Evwen if the specifics are a bit vwague carnivalsoration i adore her. i just don't feel for her like i do for wicked or like Ii did for ... anyway caepaecaesurae I think she has a hard time understanding normal trolls Or wvays in wvhich a troll can differ from the norm, since she has no reference point carnivalsoration mood carnivalsoration i told her that would get better eventually i ain't really a normal troll either caepaecaesurae The most vwaluable tool in your arsenal then, is remembering that making a pinky swvear about key facts can sometimes just make evwerything fine again. I don't knowv wvhy it wvorks, but it's vwery comforting carnivalsoration was that you or her caepaecaesurae A uniquely terrible fusion of both carnivalsoration that's... even better caepaecaesurae She's the one wvho believwes it easily I'm the one wvho... I suppose helps on followv-through once wve Do believwe it Once wve Did believwe it caepaecaesurae wvhatevwer carnivalsoration yeah caepaecaesurae If you can get me to believwe and accept an arbitrary honorable declaration, it can resolvwe complicated emotional situations completely. carnivalsoration that makes sense caepaecaesurae Sometimes things are ovwer and done, and it's just that simple. carnivalsoration ... huh i don't work like that at all wow caepaecaesurae She almost does. carnivalsoration it's mostly the 'believe' bit like how do you just. trust someone wow carnivalsoration the fuck caepaecaesurae I believwe her culture glorifies the ability to resolvwe conflicts swviftly. Particularly paths that maintain peace and cheer. carnivalsoration fuck.... it's alien as hell. when i bother ta think about it i keep forgettin her vapidness is a cultural thing caepaecaesurae On a more normal levwel, she likes being wvith you, and is vwery biased towvards information that supports you twvo being together. It may also be a biological thing, partly.  Lurky's complained about a short attention span a fewv times, in the current arrangement, wvhich I wvill resume not talking about. carnivalsoration thanks sugar is the least of my worries beyond maiming carnivalsoration shes simple i love her for it. but she is just... she don't make things complicated on an emotional level caepaecaesurae It's vwery direct Not much mess or fuss Just a bit of upkeep carnivalsoration yeah. ... you're just wantin gossip more or less, right? and ta give relationship advice hahaha caepaecaesurae Gossip is my lifeblood The advwice is just a bad habit carnivalsoration ;o) just makin sure i know your motive carnivalsoration luckily i love to bitch caepaecaesurae Don't wve all? WVhat other motivwes wvere you checking for? carnivalsoration shrug, i thought it was either that or you were thinkin a somethin specific ta talk on caepaecaesurae Broad and fair carnivalsoration i didn't know what you might wanna talk on, just approachin me with that particular topic seemed like it coulda been pointed somewhere particular ... so. how the fuck does ash work there also why the fuck are there so many fuckers with martyr complexes on tumblr caepaecaesurae There's howv it wvorked on Alternia, wvhich wvas one thing, and there's howv evweryone in my clade seems to handle it, wvhich is influencing howv it's handled in my current univwerse carnivalsoration gimme what you got caepaecaesurae On Alternia it wvas more of a temporary arrangement most of the time, wvith a fewv famous stable pairings wvhere contact wvas unavwoidable, and conflicts wvere incompletely resolvweable. Here..  It's expanded a bit.  An ashen seems to be able to meddle betwveen twvo trolls in any kind of relationship, not just pitch-that-should-not-be. Additionally, floating top leavwes are fairly common -- wvhere a troll has a stable, permanent auspistice wvho patches in temporarily, any time anyone has a conflict wvith their paramour carnivalsoration you and arlequin caepaecaesurae Aye, that carnivalsoration and pal and his ash caepaecaesurae Pal's matesprit has one as wvell I think. carnivalsoration neat caepaecaesurae It... can be convwenient, wvhen a troll has certain subjects about wvhich they are unreasonable or frequently in conflict Anyone wvho encounters such a conflict knowvs wvho can translate, and ensure a debate goes smoothly carnivalsoration lil needs that honestly caepaecaesurae Though there are unfortunate.. complications, at times If the bottom leaf comes into conflict wvith someone wvho has a conflict wvith the top leaf, the top leaf's presence wvill not help much So such arrangements are necessarily still somewvhat selectivwe carnivalsoration makes sense caepaecaesurae I do think Lil wvould do wvell wvith an open auspisticism carnivalsoration none of that sounds outta line for what i know caepaecaesurae He seems to often speak wvithout thinking about the reactions he wvill receivwe carnivalsoration temp ashen was way more common, in my experience, political ash are often floating, ash is usually for pitch but also useful for conflicts and toxic relationships, though its way harder ta get motherfuckers to believe they need an ash in that case lil is a talky little shit who only thinks he's not morally superior when he's not actively engaged in an argument caepaecaesurae I'vwe nevwer gotten particularly close, or spoken wvith him in much detail. I think he's offended that I spent a bit crimson, by choice. carnivalsoration and he treats any mildly offended counterpoint as an attack yeah he's a ridiculous little sjw hahaha caepaecaesurae I'll be debating it wvith him somenight I'm not sure wvhen carnivalsoration i wanna go temp ash between him and fex but huntress won't have it at fuckin all caepaecaesurae It's a shame wvhen things are different across univwerses WVhat wvould she think about it, if she had a conflict wvith a third party, and you assisted her wvith that? caepaecaesurae Still just as bad, or is it suddenly different wvhen it's about her? If it's jealousy, can it be resolvwed wvith givwing her some balance of separate attention? carnivalsoration she said she'd stop interactin with that person altogether to keep from bein a cheat caepaecaesurae Yikes. No idea if that's because her univwerse is different, her personal stance is different, or just because she's younger, but I wvish you luck carnivalsoration i fuckin know, right? she considers it cheating for me, her top leaf, to have a top leaf carnivalsoration even a temp one even a political one caepaecaesurae A grey area, pardon the pun carnivalsoration hahahahahahaha she's also the martyr type caepaecaesurae Speaking of, wvhat do you mean by martyr? carnivalsoration so i dunno if she actually accepted that i need this and she was alright with it or if she is just lettin me run over her aight, i think your purpose in life is ta have a good damn time. and some religious shit, but that's irrelevant carnivalsoration so when a motherfucker goes 'no, my quad is more important, and i will suffer so they can have fun' it pisses me off caepaecaesurae It annoys me mostly wvhen it's unecessary carnivalsoration martyr: some fucker who puts their health and wellbeing at risk for others relatively irrelevant shit for a long period of time. all the time. caepaecaesurae Aye.  Some trolls think that's howv life wvorks. carnivalsoration either gettin bitter or losin their own sense of self. ruinin the relationship but draggin it out just cuz they didn't put their foot down while the other person thinks shit is fine! pisses me off like. why the fuck don't they just love themselves caepaecaesurae It's important to be able to trust that your partner is telling you an apt amount of the truth. Evwen I fall into that trap occasionally. carnivalsoration sometimes bad shit happens and you gotta wade through it together. but thats way different from layin down in the mud and lettin em walk on you caepaecaesurae Or hiding things to "protect" them. carnivalsoration i put people equal to me, brought my own happiness down for them, before. but i always expected we would crawl outta the pit together yeah fuck that carnivalsoration .... okay i done that one a couple times caepaecaesurae One must choose wvhether a quadrant is a partner or some sort of odd pet that is being fostered, and stick to that choice.  And be honest about it. carnivalsoration but i'm gettin better yeah. caepaecaesurae I think evweryone wvith good intentions or a privwate streak does that one a fewv times. carnivalsoration ... tellin wicked things is hard sometimes cuz i don't wanna make him sad.... but i'm gettin better so it's fine caepaecaesurae Progress is all one can hope for carnivalsoration anyway huntress's a mess caepaecaesurae She seems pleasant and wvell-meaning carnivalsoration she's a little brat who's been pining over some damn karkat who ditched her cuz she protected him with ~violence~ caepaecaesurae The young become amazingly invwested in some things carnivalsoration i think it's been sweeps caepaecaesurae Oh, gods.. Her univwerse's karkat? carnivalsoration yeah. yeah! beforan, for what that means to you caepaecaesurae tsk.  I wvish her luck wvith that caepaecaesurae I'vwe been Beforan Some trolls are young trolls, and Beforus is a young planet. carnivalsoration she says shes just glad he's happy but i can fuckin tell. she's torn all up and still callin him good annoying. caepaecaesurae It could be she knowvs it just wvouldn't wvork. If he's that firm about an ideal like that, and her instincts say to protect him... carnivalsoration she won't even ask caepaecaesurae It may not wvork out Aye?  But she can decide if she thinks it wvould be annoying. carnivalsoration she lets herself live in limbo it's annoying! caepaecaesurae Maybe she needs to stop pining then carnivalsoration like. damn, if someone ain't treatin you right you treat yourself right and ditch em yeah that's what i said. but she is impressively stubborn it's annoyin and not what my job is so i'm leavin it why you interested in polyamory anyway? caepaecaesurae It's her call wvhat to do wvith her pusher,and I'm sure it wvill be a revwelation for the ages that wvill leavwe her changed and growvn for the experience But some such journeys are best left to those participating, so, aye caepaecaesurae I don't see the details of it discussed much I see people in the main ultra-clade havwing ten lovwers and three moirails each, but little about specific logistical questions carnivalsoration I got just the three quads and a handful of lovers carnivalsoration i don't even necessarily want other quads so much as i feel stuck in the boxes cuz all the current ones are strict bout it caepaecaesurae I'm blessed to havwe the quadrants I do carnivalsoration lucky fuck caepaecaesurae Fewv to no long-term lovwers though Sympathy.  I'vwe dated trolls that wvere on the strict side before, and it can chafe carnivalsoration (no comment cuz i don't want you feelin weird) weird thing is i'm pretty boxy myself, i just. like, quads blur a little at the edges? carnivalsoration and i feel like i gotta stay way away from the edge which is lame caepaecaesurae > (picture of a cat in a too-small box) carnivalsoration hahahahaha caepaecaesurae > (picture of a different cat in a too-small box) caepaecaesurae > (picture of a third cat in a too-small box) carnivalsoration honestly i dunno if it'd chafe so much if i didn't have so many quads. never been this close ta full up before, aside from the whole two weeks ash and pitch were inhabited at the same time caepaecaesurae WVith so many of them, there's less space for unlabled things carnivalsoration yeah. carnivalsoration i got a kinda flush kinda pale submissive thing goin on with one of my lovers, but i feel a little weird mentionin it caepaecaesurae I don't think there's anything wvrong wvith that if it isn't threatening your primary quadrants at all carnivalsoration mostly cuz a sugar. also cuz it's close but it's mostly sex still. caepaecaesurae I think the popular hack for that is to make up a newv symbol carnivalsoration .... like her though. she's sweet hahahahaha maybe caepaecaesurae I knowv a pair of trolls that go around wvith <2 carnivalsoration i'll just have an eggplant be our quad symbol .... ain't that fex and twoblade? some damn captor for sure.... caepaecaesurae Aye, that's the one carnivalsoration i know a pitch pale pair who got <*> caepaecaesurae That's a good one An eggplant's a bit hard to copy into text though carnivalsoration true i dunno. how many quads you got by the by? caepaecaesurae A full set of four carnivalsoration well shit you gonna add any more to the bunch, ya think? caepaecaesurae I'm not honestly sure carnivalsoration got anyone in mind? caepaecaesurae I knowv howv I wvas on Alternia, and howv... wvidespread my attention tended to growv, but I'vwe been different since Wvell I don't see any direct and immediate contenders in my future, despite a bit of vwery directed teasing on a fewv fronts carnivalsoration oh? :o) teasing from where caepaecaesurae Oh, clade carnivalsoration bout who carnivalsoration ;o) i gave you gossip now you gotta give me some caepaecaesurae WVell, carnivalsoration well~? caepaecaesurae > Does he want to admit to having a crush on the Demoness, or *Ringleader's Matesprit*? > These are both bad options.  He tries to think of any other crush. > What about Wicked, Ringleader's moirail.  But only as a lover.  Uh. caepaecaesurae > What about a random name, but then Ringleader will expect him to follow through caepaecaesurae ah carnivalsoration you aight over there? caepaecaesurae Romantic situations that aren't fully settled put me in a bit of a conniption I'm not sure wvhere to sart carnivalsoration you got so many people you're thinkin of? or just a lotta people you get teased over? caepaecaesurae Sevweral tease-wvorthy ones carnivalsoration pick one caepaecaesurae Once upon a time, wvhen I wvas extremely young, there wvas a vwery brief infatuation wvith my Zahhak WVhile nowv many, many centuries passed I still hear about it from time to time carnivalsoration oh hey what stopped it? caepaecaesurae His complete lack of interest and a bit of a prank carnivalsoration hahahahaha shoulda been more persistent, it worked for dual caepaecaesurae He decided to feign a caepaecaesurae lifestyle for our first and only date carnivalsoration oh? caepaecaesurae He suggested wve go to a field to graze carnivalsoration HAHAHAHAHAHAHA caepaecaesurae WVe wvere teen beforans He wvas serious. carnivalsoration fuck! caepaecaesurae I did not ask him out again carnivalsoration hahahahahahahahahahaha caepaecaesurae Look, some things aren't meant to be carnivalsoration fuck that's amazing i gotta tell dual ask him if that woulda stopped his pining caepaecaesurae Gods Please don't tell him wvhich alternate carnivalsoration ;o) our secret caepaecaesurae There wvas literally a field I did not graze. carnivalsoration i was about to ask hahahaha carnivalsoration so we got one down, who else you gettin teased on caepaecaesurae Chiieeef, you're killing me... carnivalsoration ;o) i'll make it up to you later caepaecaesurae I'vwe been fairly shy about lovwers in general for a wvhile, but that's been picking up a little bit Seldom more than once per troll, but carnivalsoration tell me if i should lay off caepaecaesurae Sorry if it's a mood kill carnivalsoration i know you and sugar hooked up, can't remember if it was during or after bein trickstered caepaecaesurae It wvas suggested during, but wve did get together a bit after carnivalsoration oh good. i made dumb as fuck decisions as a trickster, glad ya don't gotta deal with that caepaecaesurae Oh, I tried There's one troll I'vwe purposefully stayed platonic wvith for some swveeps, to avwoid givwing his matesprit jealousy issues That staying platonic wvas rather narrowv, and had nothing to do wvith me carnivalsoration oh, you worry bout jealousy then? caepaecaesurae These things aren't really sustainable if one doesn't carnivalsoration > A slow smile starts to spread across his face as a couple of things click into place. caepaecaesurae There wvas a time I didn't bother, and I had a vwery exciting life ...it's much easier if I just respect boundaries. WVhich invwolvwes finding out wvhat they are carnivalsoration ya know, to find out what they are, you gotta ask caepaecaesurae Aye, usually, but sometimes one can get a vwery good sense just from reading a troll carnivalsoration gotta make sure a motherfucker ain't the jealous type before ya go after his matesprit. can't mention you actually want his matesprit cuz what if he decides its a challenge. ... i just realized you might panic if i play coy ask sugar out caepaecaesurae Fucking hell carnivalsoration hahahahahahahahaha caepaecaesurae Look, there's more reasons than Just that that it's terribly complicated, but thank you carnivalsoration yeah yeah i know its a publicity thing, and you actually live somewhere they'll give a fuck but hey, if you wanna go after her, you can probably give her things i can't anyway caepaecaesurae I wvas wvicked's casual lovwer briefly, for a time, before VWelius got possessivwe and wve stopped. I mean, for wvhat that's wvorth carnivalsoration yeah i know caepaecaesurae I think she needs someone wvho can admit that there's anything, too carnivalsoration i mean... ... she's got me for that. caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration i like her a lot. .... but like. do you ... romantically? caepaecaesurae WVe relate to her in vwery different wvays carnivalsoration we understand her in similar ways though carnivalsoration (we nice and panic free over there?) caepaecaesurae The problems I'm havwing finding the wvords aren't related to fear ...but thank you I think wve can actually havwe this convwersation carnivalsoration :oD i was gonna tease you for a bit but uh. caepaecaesurae I don't entirely knowv wvhat I'm doing wvith her, except that this is the first or second time I'vwe been led into something by a part of me that didn't bother asking my advwice first.  ...Since coming to Prosperity. On Alternia, falling into things like this wvas a wvay of life, and I let it happen evwery single time. carnivalsoration huh caepaecaesurae I am inexplicably fond of her, and I really wvish that wvas more dependant on her moral stature than it is. carnivalsoration hahaha she's doin better. i'm proud of her. caepaecaesurae She is. carnivalsoration she's actually started to think i have low standards for puttin up with her caepaecaesurae It's lovwely to see howv far she's come, and howv wvell she does. Really? carnivalsoration yeah. when she healed my horns she hugged me tight and said she had to go before she stole me away. and i told her i was proud of her for lettin me do what i had to and she said i needed higher standards hahaha carnivalsoration which. probably. ... but i dunno, with someone like her, its easier to judge by effort and intent than by progress by way of distance gone caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration and she's puttin in a lotta effort caepaecaesurae Evwen wvith backslides, like evwery time someone she hasn't seen in ovwer a swveep pops online, ... carnivalsoration yeah... caepaecaesurae Evwen the backslides are growving milder. carnivalsoration she deserves more people in her corner who ain't fussin endlessly like val tries to do caepaecaesurae "Oops, I took a captivwe" became "Oops, I tormented someone vwerbally", wvhich becomes "Oops, I forgot they legitimately hate me for something that I didn't pay attention to..." carnivalsoration she tells me her moments of weakness so i can help her not caepaecaesurae She's doing wvell enough that evwen some of her enemies are thawving a bit carnivalsoration she asked me to ask muralist if he still felt compelled to obey her so she would know if she can interact with him and still have him comfortable. and had me do it so he wouldn't panic right off caepaecaesurae Oh, that's clevwer carnivalsoration ;o) caepaecaesurae WVe tend to commisserate, any time one of our reputations bites us carnivalsoration mine ain't some fuckin how caepaecaesurae WVhich is nice carnivalsoration maybe it's cuz i'm so far removed. maybe it's cuz i dont seem to care caepaecaesurae Maybe it's because no one you'vwe wvronged has a popular tumblr account carnivalsoration a couple fuckers sent me asks in those first few days after the tents got ... and i talked all guilty and they kept at it carnivalsoration but the second i stopped they stopped tormenting me caepaecaesurae They're harsh sometimes. carnivalsoration they're talentless i deserve better from an interrogator the only reason they got me at all is cuz they kicked me when i was down caepaecaesurae They've gotten me like that a fewv tims carnivalsoration fex don't trust me. but he trusts me enough to let me on prosperity nadaya's suspicion evaporated once i stopped hidin ... i dunno. rep's weird caepaecaesurae Arty's gotten a lot more trusting in general, wvhich is nice. carnivalsoration good for me at least caepaecaesurae I think she likes knowving that reputation problems aren't just hers, and also that they can be mostly resolvwed. Evwen if little flareups happen. carnivalsoration yeah. ... so if it wouldn't hurt your rep, would ya try for her flush? caepaecaesurae Most of the comisseration started off, in the early days, as just "Here's something terrible but relatable that happened to someone that isn't you" carnivalsoration hahahaha wish i had someone like you when i fell i was way slower than her caepaecaesurae My rep, my current clade wvho are all vwiolently allergic to both her bloodline and her in particular, ... carnivalsoration yeah. sucks. i've only got one fucker in my inclade who's violently allergic to me but that's. too damn many. caepaecaesurae There's a thousand and one reasons wvhy it wvouldn't wvork carnivalsoration and yet you care enough ta go fishin for how i'd feel bout it. you're a hopeful fucker ain't you. caepaecaesurae I think she's a good friend carnivalsoration boo, cop out caepaecaesurae And some friendships are nevwer clearly described or labled carnivalsoration .... :o) caepaecaesurae Some friendships are like that on purpose carnivalsoration you do you. caepaecaesurae You're a breath of fresh air, chief. carnivalsoration tell me more tell me more caepaecaesurae Hahaha carnivalsoration what can i say, i love complements caepaecaesurae I.. hope to take care that my friendship wvith her nevwer negativwely impacts anyone's relationships.  Mine or hers. If she gets fussy about you havwing anyone else, you might be able to use it as a wvay to encourage openmindedness in her though. carnivalsoration hahahaha caepaecaesurae If she gets vwague friends, no reason other people can't havwe them carnivalsoration you are really good at gettin fuckers on your side carnivalsoration .... where do we stand? caepaecaesurae If I must havwe but one talent, let it be that one carnivalsoration hahaha caepaecaesurae It's nice to havwe that off my mind, honestly.  Not that I wvas or wvasn't activwely checking anything. caepaecaesurae I appreciate it, and your wvillingness to break character in the middle of teasing Evwen Muralist has to remind me nowv and again carnivalsoration well as much as i like games, i played the wrong one to start and now teasing looks like danger unless i'm real clear bout it. so imma be clear. carnivalsoration ... so uh. you don't usually take lovers more than once or twice? caepaecaesurae Lately carnivalsoration yeah. caepaecaesurae I wvas wvith WVicked a wvhile, though I think it depends on the troll, and on opportunity carnivalsoration how do i rank i aint gonna be mad if i don't place. caepaecaesurae You're a good troll, and I appreciate the effort you put into keeping me at ease.  And I'm sorry for howv long you wvere on edge about me, and any stress that may havwe added to the rebellion carnivalsoration eh, you thought it was more handled than it was i'm a paranoid motherfucker and that's on me caepaecaesurae WVe both havwe moments like that. carnivalsoration so long as we do our best we'll turn out fine. caepaecaesurae aye.  I did enjoy that evwening, evwen if I spent a wvhile facepalming at myself after the anon wvore off caepaecaesurae Not because of anything you did carnivalsoration > .... H..op..ef....ul? > He's being vague but there's complements involved. nah i understand. caepaecaesurae You knowv the feeling, wvhen your cautious side is exasperated wvith your less cautious side, but evwerything still turned out wvell carnivalsoration i did shit i don't exactly regret but i weren't quite ready for caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration ... nah. i was ready, i wasnt set like. ya gotta psyche yourself up for that shit, and i was already psyched, and then i was me and it was sudden carnivalsoration makes shit a bit awkward hahahaha caepaecaesurae Aye It's fascinating, though carnivalsoration i can't tell if youre dodgin, stallin, or you think you've given me an answer caepaecaesurae Somenight I should psyche myself up for a more honest repeat.  I'm slowv as hell though, and it doesn't seem fair or wvise to set hopes up carnivalsoration honk! caepaecaesurae It takes me a running start and ten paragraphs to answver any question, chief. carnivalsoration hahahaha you just like puttin motherfuckers on the edge of their seats. caepaecaesurae I like being exact and explicit Length runs in the blood, I suppose carnivalsoration ;o) but exact things don't weave around the point so much as you caepaecaesurae Think of it as a skycraft circling in for a landing You havwe to spend at least an hour gradually examining the question from all angles before you can come in for your final approach carnivalsoration you draw shapes in the clouds while you're at it carnivalsoration i like it though. even if 'you're a good troll' is the perfect set up for 'let's just be friends' caepaecaesurae Sorry carnivalsoration hahaha it's aight. kept the suspense up caepaecaesurae It's also a good setup for "Not wvhen my pan is wvild, and I havwe no idea wvhen it wvon't be" carnivalsoration i can wait til you're ready caepaecaesurae Nowv you're going to make me blus carnivalsoration and if i die of old age before you get round to it, well guess you're just not into older dudes good, you glow pretty caepaecaesurae I don't think it wvill take anywvhere near that long carnivalsoration hey, now i got a timeframe! before i die :op caepaecaesurae WVell, ideally carnivalsoration i'm just fine waitin as long as ya need. caepaecaesurae You're a peach. Maybe sometime wve'll finally get around to that music night. carnivalsoration :o* :oD one a these nights and there won't even be war to weigh it down caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration :o) caepaecaesurae Sorry for not helping out more wvith that carnivalsoration how do you mean? caepaecaesurae It seems like I let my owvn wvariness get in the wvay of helping Since part of wvhat wve wvere going to discuss at that meeting included things like planning carnivalsoration if i didn't break your trust you woulda done it actions got consequences. that's how it goes i ain't gonna be mad at you for keepin your own self safe caepaecaesurae WVe all havwe our journeys I suppose Thank you carnivalsoration beyond that, no way of knowin how much difference it woulda made, so there's no server worrying bout what coulda happened instead,aight? you bet, brother caepaecaesurae It's a bit odd, this isn't the first time I'vwe been called hopeful or an idealist. carnivalsoration oh? caepaecaesurae This wveek, evwen. Is it that idealistic to circuitously examine the lay of the land? carnivalsoration mmmmm depends if you're bein cautious or lingerin back to dream a little longer caepaecaesurae Heh. Must a man choose? carnivalsoration i think you're a practical idealist. so ya do both, imagining best and worst scenario. :o) caepaecaesurae And seeking lists of reasons wvhy it wvouldn't wvork, as much as seeking reasons it wvould carnivalsoration yeah~ caepaecaesurae Tsk, wvhat's that ~ caepaecaesurae No need for ~'s carnivalsoration uh... they slip in from time ta time caepaecaesurae Tsk, pardon.  It read like teasing again carnivalsoration haha nah. i just like seeing you dream caepaecaesurae Tsk I suppose dreamer's as good a wvord for it as any carnivalsoration yeah idealist, dreamer. i been lead ta believe they're the same thing, cept dreamers don't try as hard to make their shit come true caepaecaesurae An interesting difference Chasing perfection is an interesting game. carnivalsoration yeah. idealists are people who got a place to go. dreamers already found the place they wanna be and it's in their skull and you're definitely more the former. but ya know... nothin wrong with dreamin from time to time caepaecaesurae WVhat about someone wvhose dreams are easy to make real? carnivalsoration lucky :o) either that or soon ta be disillusioned. if they're easy ta make real then they probably weren't that great ta begin with. either way, soon they'd be dreamin somethin else i think caepaecaesurae True enough It's easy to lose interest in a dream that came easily carnivalsoration this is like three levels deep into old man philosophising for me, how bout you caepaecaesurae This wvell doesn't really havwe a bottom, and I can divwe forevwer carnivalsoration hahahahahahaha caepaecaesurae I hear tell some people havwe trouble holding their breath quite so long Rumors, you knowv. "Air". They like talking about things that, you knowv, exist Or matter carnivalsoration for the young, i like metaphors with only the slimmest basis in reality and relevance caepaecaesurae It can be a fun game to see howv long it takes them to realise you aren't actually saying anything. caepaecaesurae Been a wvhile since I'vwe done that one. carnivalsoration fuck hahahahahaha caepaecaesurae "Ah yes, the paint wveathers wvith time." "Yes, you havwe it, it's like the birds." carnivalsoration half the time i'm not sure if i'm sayin much either, but considerin how many younglings come up to me for advice like i got a handle on things, it's way funner to just say whatever comes to mind and then they leave feelin more sure, either cuz they found sense in what i said, or cuz they know at least they make more sense than me caepaecaesurae I generally try to havwe a point.  I alwvays mean something. WVhether I manage is anyone's guess. Trolls under about ten tend to call me a blowvhard. Not a fan of that. carnivalsoration yeah i don't talk to many trolls under ten i dunno. i have a point but most of it's just like... what i learned is roundabouts what they're lookin to hear, or what other people were lookin to hear when they asked carnivalsoration and then the rest of it just leads back to 'do what makes you happy' with the caveat of 'try not to be a tool' caepaecaesurae I think you'vwe just described howv age and experience wvorks. carnivalsoration :o) caepaecaesurae You're in a light mood It's a interesting change.  You wvere slightly grimmer wvhen wve met carnivalsoration yeah! 's a good night caepaecaesurae I'm glad carnivalsoration hey, i got a Not Rejection and then a whole bunch a jumpin down a rabbit hole just for the fun of thinkin through semantics and motivation carnivalsoration talkin on life is nice, and as long as it don't lead to nothin maudlin i enjoy it. caepaecaesurae It's nice to bring some good to the wvorld carnivalsoration gay caepaecaesurae And I am fond of wvaxing philosophical somenights tsk carnivalsoration hahahahahaha i can't remember what the point of the conversation was anymore or the new point i guess, i figured out the first one oh yeah, we was talkin about you bein an idealist. ... and then i think you mighta started vaguin about your aspect shit at one point caepaecaesurae A bit It's true no matter howv it happens, magic or not, though.  A dream realised quickly is.... shallowv. No matter wvhat that dream consists of. carnivalsoration yeah. sometimes fuckers gotta dream of the little things, to keep goin. but... i dunno, i think it plays back into effort verses result again caepaecaesurae Aye Structure is important carnivalsoration people don't look at effort enough, i think. fuckers struggle with different things, and measurin em by how hard they're strugglin equalizes things a lot better caepaecaesurae It does caepaecaesurae I'm sorry, I'm distracted, I'm thinking about you naked. carnivalsoration oh fuck > Damnit you're flustered, that was sudden as hell. and then what ;o) > Flawless caepaecaesurae No, I think you had it right, do you havwe a fewv minutes? carnivalsoration honk yeah i got time caepaecaesurae I really wvish I understood my pan, sometimes. carnivalsoration > Did you say something sexy in there what the hell happened. > You're not arguing, but /what the hell happened/ oh, cool, am i not the only one confused? caepaecaesurae Oh, hardly, I just roll wvith it. carnivalsoration your place or mine, brother? hahahahaha caepaecaesurae I could be right ovwer carnivalsoration :o! aight

[queen-scribbles]

A Likely Story

For @pillarspromptsweekly​ #13. Roll For It the Third. I got Edér, runaway, and attraction. Naturally, this means writing Tavi being a filthy scheming shipper re: him and Charity.

Patience had never been Tavi’s strong suit. This was responsible for a large percentage of the fights she’d gotten in in her life, several grudges she could’ve avoided, and also was why she was currently wandering around Dyrford rather than helping Edér with dinner. In her defense, he had kicked her out(sort of); it wasn’t as if she’d abandoned him or anything. And it was the nicest she’d ever been kicked out of anywhere; a heavily hinting ‘Maybe you’d have more fun if you went for a walk’. Recognizing that her overabundance of energy was testing even Edér‘s near-infinite patience, Tavi saw herself out and started a meandering path to catalog how much Dyrford village had changed since his election as mayor.

There were definitely more people.  Edér had wasted no time once he was mayor “borrowing” Raedric’s strategy of offering new settlers free land. Given that he was a much kinder leader than Raedric had been, it worked like a charm. And more people meant some of the more dilapidated buildings were repaired for use, business and trade picked up, and the economy was improving. Right now it was only incremental progress, but it showed promise of continuing for the foreseeable future.

“Hey, lady, look out!”

Tavi instinctively hugged the side of the building she was passing, just in time to get out of the way as two children--an orlan and a dwarf--barreled past in pursuit of a large, runaway wooden hoop. She watched them run, noting with amusement the hoop got further away with every second, the children’s short legs no match for gravity.

That’s not going to end well, she thought to herself. as she resumed meandering. But it was good to see children. There hadn’t been many on her first visit to the village.

As she passed the temple of Berath, Harbinger Beodmar waved a greeting from the front steps, and Tavi smiled as she waved back. This used to be considered the outskirts of Dyrford, but now that all the property was being settled and cultivated, the town’s western border extended another couple miles.

Charity’s land is out this way. The thought was a random one, but it made her grin, and Tavi’s meandering turned suddenly purposeful.

Charity was working in her garden, hair pulled up in a messy bun, and waved when she saw Tavi approaching. “Hey there, Watcher. You visiting our esteemed mayor again?”

“I was,” Tavi laughed. “Then I got bored and started bein’ a fuckin’ nuisance so he kicked me out.”

“Wow, you actually found the limits of his patience,” Charity said with a chuckle.  “Though I have to say, kicking someone out doesn’t sound like Edér.”

“It may have been more.... suggesting I burn off some energy by going for a walk,” Tavi conceded, leaning against the split-rail fence. “He’s makin’ something time-consumin’ but delicious smellin’ for dinner an’ I don’t have the patience to help.” She grinned. “Hey, you wanna join us? From the look of things, there was way more than he an’ I can eat, and I know he enjoys your company.”

Despite Tavi’s best effort to make the phrase sound innocent, it looked like Charity still blushed faintly, streaking dirt across her forehead as she swiped at loose dark red strands. “You sure? I feel like he’s probably seen enough of me recently.”

“Nah, he won’t mind,” Tavi promised. “It takes a lot for Edér to get tired of people. ‘Cept Durance, but we all got tired of him pretty quick. Hey, if I can pry a little,” she tucked her hair behind her ears, “how’d you an’ Edér actually meet? He didn’t give me a whole lot of details.”

“Oh, well, it was back when I first moved here.” Charity patted the earth around the last of the flowers she’d been tending and stood, dusting her hands on her pants. “There was a really big stump over there-” she pointed at a patch of ground now covered in sprouting vegetables- “that I couldn’t get out by myself. And believe me, I tried. When there was a tree attached, I probably wouldn’t have been able to get my arms around the bastard. I’m no weakling, but that stump was not moving for one person. Still gave it my best shot, ‘cause I can be awful stubborn when I want to be, then went to the tavern to try an’ drown my sore muscles and complain.” She chuckled. “He was sitting nearby, overheard me grousing, an’ offered to help.”

“Sounds like Edér,” Tavi nodded. “Figures he’d still wanna help everyone individually, even as mayor.”

“See, I didn’t know he was the mayor,” Charity said with a sheepish laugh, twirling a loose lock of hair between her fingers. “New to town an’ all. Wasn’t til we were halfway through choppin’ out the damn roots; someone walkin’ by said Mornin’ Mayor Teylecg an’ I almost dropped my mattock.  Edér waved it off, said he liked doing this kind of work and I was good company, that he wouldn’t have offered if he hadn’t meant it. It took us almost all day to get that damn stump out. In the course of talkin’ we realized we were both Eothasian, which led to more talkin’ and then to us building a little chapel on my land.”

“Yeah, that he mentioned on my last visit,” Tavi nodded, shifting position when a splinter dug into her arm. “Speakin’ of visitin’, I really am positive he won’t mind if you have dinner with us.”

Charity hesitated, clearly tempted. “When were you planning to eat? I’m something of a mess right now.” She gestured at her dirt- and sweat-streaked clothes.

“Oh, I’m sure there’s enough time for you to clean up,” Tavi said with a mischievous smile. “After all, Edér already hasta either come find me or wait ‘til I wander back. If I wander back with a guest, I doubt he’ll complain. ‘Specially if it’s you.”

This time, Charity definitely blushed; her olive complexion doing little to hide it even as she ducked her head. “Well, alright then. You can come in and make yourself at home while I make myself presentable.”

>O<

It wasn’t a long wait, but it did give Tavi enough time to notice the hints of who Charity was sprinkled through the front rooms. From the lighting via a single lantern in the center as a nod to her faith to the half-full bookshelves to the shield and flail mounted on the wall.

“Are you combat trained?” Tavi asked idly, raising her voice to ensure it carried. “I thought you were a farmer. And priest.”

“I am,” Charity replied, over the sound of splashing water. “I did a stint in my local militia just before I hit my twenties. Kept up the skillset, enough to take care of myself, anyway. When I... left, I did a bit of adventuring before I settled down here. Priests who can defend themselves are in high enough demand, most folk didn’t care if I worshipped a dead god. Long as I don’t get too preachy.”

“Nice for you,” Tavi said, studying the flail and shield. They were both good but standard quality, and the painted metal shield had plainly taken a beating. “What made you decide to leave?”

“Home didn’t want me anymore, so went lookin’ for a new one,” Charity said. She emerged from her bedroom clad in a clean shirt and trousers, face and arms clear of dirt streaks and hair tied in a ponytail rather than the earlier bun. “It’s a pretty common backstory for an adventurer.”

“Sorry for pryin’‘,” Tavi said, feeling just a tad sheepish for being so nosy. “My curiosity gets the best of me sometimes.”

“Happens to everyone, and I don’t mind,” Charity assured her. “Now, let’s get going. You’ve piqued my curiosity about this dinner.”

Tavi buried a smirk as she followed her out. Yeah, sure. Dinner’s what you’re interested in. She kept the thought to herself, however, and the women simply made small talk as they headed back toward the main part of town.

>O<

Tavi was right. When she walked in and announced she’d brought a guest and hoped that was alright, Edér spun around, grinned at Charity, and grabbed an extra plate.

“More the merrier,” he laughed. “Besides, there’s no way Tavi and I can eat all this food by ourselves. Hope you like boar.”

“Only thing better is a good venison stew,” Charity replied, a matching grin curving her lips.

“Woman after my own heart,” Edér nodded appreciatively. “That was the plan for tonight, but the deer must’ve been on to me; couldn’t find a damn one when I went huntin’ this mornin’.”

“I’m sure you’ll outsmart them eventually,” Charity joked. “But for now, boar’s fine. Tavi said you were preparing it some special way?”

“Yeah.” Edér vanished briefly into the kitchen for a carving knife. “There’s this glaze I learned about, honey and some other stuff, that I wanted to try. But you gotta put it on in thin coats, and watch it while it cooks slow to make sure it doesn’t burn.” He shot Tavi a teasing grin. “Watcher didn’t feel like helpin’ with that part.”

Tavi shrugged. “I have better things to do than watch fuckin’ meat cook, Teylecg.”

“Like kidnapping dinner quests?” he teased.

“I just asked,” Tavi defended, laughing. “There was no kidnapping involved!”

“That’s true, she did just offer,” Charity backed her up.

“Thank you,” Tavi said emphatically. “So, let’s see how well this takes-forever-to-cook boar of yours tastes.”

It tasted delicious. Not enough so that Tavi would ever cook it herself, but she did want the recipe for the cook at Caed Nua. But she had another question she was far more keen to get answered, one that had been bothering her for a while. “Anyone give either of you trouble for bein’ Eothasian?”

“It’s not like I go around blabbin’ about it, Tav,” Edér pointed out, swiping his thumb along the edge of his plate to collect glaze drippings and then sucking it clean.

“No, I know,” Tavi said. “But you don’t exactly go out of your way to hide it, either. So I’m just curious if Dyrford treats you any better than fuckin’ Gilded Vale.”

He shrugged. “Anywhere would be better than Gilded Vale. I’m sure there are rumors, some people less than happy about it, but most are willin’ to overlook it for free land.” He smiled sardonically. “No one’s said anything about hangin’ me yet, so that’s a good sign.”

Tavi laughed. “Sure is. I’d hate to hafta fight a whole fuckin’ town to save your ass.”

“Aw, you’d do that for me? That’s sweet.”

“Anything for a friend,” she said with a grin. “How ‘bout you, Charity? Anyone callin’ for your head?”

Charity smiled faintly, and shook her head. “The people next to me are from Aedyr, so they wouldn’t care. But most of the time when folk pry I just say I’m a former priest, which is true. I’m not actively serving as a priest; I’m a farmer, and militia volunteer, but not a priest. They don’t need to know I still worship Eothas, just privately.”

“But no one get suspicious of the amount of time of you two spend together? I mean, the rumored-Eothasian mayor and the “former” Eothasian priest?” Even as she spoke, an idea struck Tavi that made her fight to bury a grin. “For all the jokes out there about  farmers and such bein’ slow on the uptake, they ain’t stupid.”

“‘Preciate the vote of confidence,”  Edér drawled. “What’s your point?”

Tavi shrugged. “Didn’t have one, just idle curiosity. But I have an idea on how you two could avoid raising suspicions...”

“I’m all ears,” Charity said, pushing her plate away and picking idly at the handle of her tankard. “Not that I think there are suspicions, yet, but if we can avoid them altogether, that’s for the best.”

Tavi bit her lip to keep from smirking, her gaze flicking from Edér to Charity and back again. “You could court her.” Berath’s bony ass, she’d expected Charity to blush at the suggestion; the woman clearly had it bad. She hadn’t expected  Edér to turn the color of a ripe tomato as well. “Just pretend,” she added hastily before one of them spontaneously combusted from the heat radiating off their faces. “Y’know, just for show. If people think you’re romantically involved, they won’t give a second thought to you visitin’ each other s’much.” They were still both staring at her like she’d grown a second head, so she rolled on. “For fuck’s sake, I’m not sayin’ you hafta stick your tongues down each other’s throats in the town square. Just... hold hands in public occasionally.  Edér, bring flowers every so often when you visit her. Hel, I’ll help you pick good ones. You’re both nice people, who’re friends an’ already spend time together-” A lot of time together... -”It shouldn’t be that hard to pull off.” She grinned as their matching stunned expressions both turned thoughtful. “Someone give me some feedback, here.”

“It... could work,” Charity said slowly, after a healthy pause, playing with the end of her ponytail as she glanced at Edér. “But I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything...”

“I don’t,”  Edér assured her, running one hand through his hair. “It makes more sense’n anything I could come up with, that’s for sure.” He scratched his beard and grinned at her. “Long as you don’t feel pressured.” 

“No, no, it makes sense to me. And she’s right, we do get along and spend time together as it is. This ruse shouldn’t be too hard to keep up. I-If you wanted to try, I mean.”

Edér smiled-almost sheepishly-and cleared his throat. “Well, then. Charity, I would like to ask permission to pretend to seek your hand.”

“And I will grant you permission to permission to pretend to seek my hand,” Charity giggled, matching his smile.

They were both, Tavi couldn’t help but note, still blushing faintly. “Well,” she said, pushing back her chair and reaching for empty plates. “I’ll clean up while you two work out the details.” She as moving before either of them could protest.

It took a lot of willpower to wait until her back was turned to let out the smirk, but Tavi let it stay the entire time she was in the kitchen.

-----------------------------------

This is gonna be my first time writing fake dating, and it’s already fun. :3 There will be more. (also, I spent like ten minutes internally debating if there were tomatoes in the Dyrwood for Tavi to make that comparison, and then decided I don’t care :P)